#I don't know I am not opposed to watching something that does not focus on Bee

[merlinfromberlin]

I'm half way through Season 3 of Transformers Cyberverse and honestly, I don't get why they called it Bumblebee Cyberverse Adventure when Bee barely even appears in this season.

If anything, this season should be called Hot Rod Cyberverse Adventure because he is our main character. He has been front and center to most of these episodes.

I guess that all of that can still change because I am only on episode 14, but tbh. right now it seems as if they only called it Bumblebee because Bee is more popular/sells better than Hot Rod.

But then again. It would still be so odd because Bee was basically non-existent in the first half of the season.

[whorekneecentral]

A New Tradition

George Russell x Fem!Reader

Warnings: cheesy christmas traditions, first christmas as a married couple, matching pjs, handsy george, penetrative sex (p in v), oral (m!receiving), cream pie.

Word Count: 1,148

Author's Note: this is a short one and it's late lol, my apologize to the george girlies

merry smutmas series

--

You and George spend your first Christmas together and you mash together the traditions from both of your families. 

Your first Christmas as a married couple was a special one.

When the two of you were dating, you bounced from place to place. Your family or his depending on the year and the holiday. Now that you were married, George suggested that the two of you spend the holidays at home, just you and him.

You agreed with his suggestion, the two of you calling your families and letting them know that from now until new years, you'd be unavailable as you'd be spending time together.

Most of the racing season, you don't get to see George. You're stuck at work and there are very few weekends that you're able to hop on a plane and go see him. When he's home from racing, he's exhausted so you don't get to go many places or do much.

It wasn't the ideal way to spend your first year as a married couple but that's life I suppose.

The holidays were a much needed break from reality; you and your husband cuddled up with nothing to do and nnwhere to be.

As a married couple does, you had old traditions and new ones.

George suggested stockings be your new tradition, seeing that neither you nor him had one in years. You got customs ones made, all your favourite places and things on there, your names stitched into the top and hung on your fireplace.

As for old traditions, your family always ordered Christmas breakfast opposed to making it. So you ordered from your favourite spot, a few minutes from the flat in London.

After breakfast, you two opened your gifts, FaceTiming your families to wish them a Merry Christmas.

The rest of the afternoon was spent lazing, you two went for a walk around the block, getting some fresh air before George started on Christmas dinner - his family tradition. He made sure to get everything done for 7pm on the dot, of course his mum on FaceTime so the two of them could cook together. That was mostly because George had no idea what he was doing. You popped in and out to help when you could but George shooed you away, assuring you he knew what he was doing.

For a first attempt, things came together quite well. He did burn the potatoes but if you look past that, it was just as good as his mum's.

A new tradition, a Christmas movie marathon topped with matching pjs.

Your lives were so hectic, you barely saw each other, let alone had time to watch a movie together without the other falling asleep.

The two of you had debated quite a bit before you settled on a pair. You wanted something fun like the Grinch and George wanted the classic flannel.

As any married couple would do, you compromised; flannel pants for George, flannel shorts for you and you both had these cheesy custom shirts that Lewis had made for you two as a joke - George's race car with the Roscoe sitting in it.

The two of you were sprawled on the couch, the tv playing quietly in the background. You tried to focus on the movie but all you could feel was George's fingers on your legs. Your husband traced patterns into your skin, his fingers wandering higher with each passing second.

"George," you mumble, his hand wiggling away from your grip as it continues its hike up your legs.

"What?" He looks over at you.

"Are you even watching the movie?"

"I've seen it a million times babe."

You roll your eyes, "yeah? So what's happening?"

George looks up at the screen, trying to make up something but he shrugs. "I don't know." He admits, making you laugh.

The man pulls you to sit up, his hands on your hips as he helps you up and over onto his lap. "How am I meant to watch the movie if I'm facing you?" You asked him, arms over his shoulder.

"I'm much better than the movie," he says, a smile on his face.

You roll your eyes yet again, playfully of course. George pulls you flush against him, his hands under your shirt. "This isn't very family friendly, George."

He pulls the shirt over your head, tossing it somewhere behind you. "Good thing there's no family here."

You lean into your husband, kissing him softly before moving to his cheek and down his jaw.

The kisses trail down his neck to his collarbone before you scoot back on his lap and begin kissing down his chest, his shirt joining yours on the floor. You follow the pattern of his freckles all the way down to his hips.

Sliding off his lap, you settle onto your knees in front of George. Your husband smiles, his knuckles rubbing along your jaw.

“You’re so pretty,” he hums, leaning down to kiss you.

Your hands slide between the two of you, undoing the knot on his pants, George lifts his hips and helps you slide them off. His eyes fixed on you as your lips wrap around his cock, his chest dropping and raising with each breath.

He can’t help but watch the way your head bobs up and down. His hand pulls your hair away from your face, letting you set the pace.

His head falls back against the couch, breathing out a string of explicits as you hollow your cheeks. “C’mere, sweetheart.” George whispers, pulls you off him slowly, savouring the feeling of your tongue sliding up the underside of his cock.

You're back on his lap now, George's hands reach under you to pull your shorts to the side. You're kissing him again, he was about to pull your panties to the side only to realize you don’t have any on. He smiles against your lips.

George lets you sink down onto his cock. Both of you letting out a satisfied sigh, your nails dig into his pale skin. The red marks on his shoulders match the nail polish on your fingers.

It’s hot, heated, and heavy.

He bucks his hips and your nails drop down from his shoulders to the scratches along his back. He lets out a groan, his face buried in the crook of his neck.

Your hand tangles in his hair, pulling his head back so you can kiss him. You kiss all over his face, his cheeks red from the blush forming on his cheeks.

He loves when you love on him like that.  

“You’re so good to me,” you mumble against his cheek, rocking your hips back and forth. “Mmm there,” you breathe, chest pressed to his. Charles’s lips find your shoulder, he bites down softly when he cums, feeling you clench around him.

You're lying against your husband, his giant hand on your back. "I think your movie is over," he whispers in your ear.

You giggle, shaking your head. "That's okay.

---

taglist:  @nosugarallspice @evieepepi08 @mimithepooh @koufaxx @dannyramirezwife-simpaccount @topguncultleader @molliemoo3 @aisharmi @mamako23 @ac3may @lewislcver @miahgonzalez16 @books-and-netflix-pls @wibi96 @bwddermilch @pedrisgatorade @clarasenchant @sainzluvrr // @forza55 @norrisleclercf1 @allalngthewtchtower @therealcap @burningcupcakefire @stargirl36 @brettlorenzi3 @guiseppetsunoda @magnummagnussen @flippingmyshit @savrose129 @lovelytsunoda @irda12-blog @dhhdhsiavdhaj @slytheringirlthatkillpeople @f1lovers22 @toomuchdelusion @eviethetheatrefreak @faye2029 @lillians-world-is-f1 @chalando1604 @lenaxwbr @im-obsessed @potashiuhm @lcxlerc16 @enjoythebutterflies3 @lillyfootballsworld @micksmidnights @mashtonbunny @chrlsleclerc @logischeroktopus

[breezybrii]

ੈ♡˳ꜱᴛʀɪᴋɪɴɢ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ！- BLLK

-meguru bachira ；f-reader

-part one ！

݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ .

❥ : being the new student isn't easy, especially in a new country. as you are trying to get used to the new surroundings and a new school. on your walk back from getting a drink, you notice the soccer field. the boys were playing around. out of curiosity, you make your way down the hill to watch. someone specific catches your eye as he swiftly steals the ball from the opposing team while wearing a pinnie with the number 8. using fancy moves, he takes the ball up the field, getting around each defender. after passing the last person, he takes a shot at goal, hitting the crossbar. the ball bounces off, flying in your direction. you hold your nose in pain, watching the ball bounce along the pavement. "wow what a bad header! hey there!" you looked up. "sorry about that. are you okay?" it was him. number 8.

❥ contents: transfer student reader, international reader, basically all the bllk boys go to the same school, just some cute romance bubbling up with bachira :)

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘᴏᴠ:

"i want to go home mom," i said into the phone. i heard my mom sigh.

"you'll be okay, we'll be over there in a few months i promise, just focus on school and stay well, bye." she hung up.

i moved to japan about a week ago after my dad got a new job over here. though, i'm the only one here because something came up at my moms job. mom wanted me to start school on time so here i am. in a new house, in a new country, all alone.

------

i start making my way to school, passing the sound of the busy street. compared to the u.s, there are so much more people walking. i'm used to the bus.

"hey y/n!" i heard someone yell.

i turned around.

"i didn't know you took this way!" it was kyo. my new friend.

"i usually don't but i wanted to just go around the town for a bit more," i said, smiling.

"well start walking this way more often, then we can walk to school together!" she yelled excitedly, brushing her hair out of her face.

i like kyo, she's sweet. she invited me to eat with her at lunch when i first moved here and ever since then we've been pretty much inseparable.

"say y/n...," kyo began. "we should def hangout outside of school," she said as we walked through the school gates.

"yeah im so down, it can be at my place since my parents still haven't moved out here yet," i replied.

we walked towards our lockers, changing our shoes.

"hey, when we hangout, does tonight work for you?" i asked.

kyo slammed her locker, making everyone look at us.

"of course it does! i'm so excited oh my god!" she shouted. i covered her mouth with my hand. "everyone is looking at us," i laughed.

"sorry," kyo giggled. "i just can't wait, im so excited!"

"yeah yeah now come on, we're going to miss the morning announcements AGAIN if we don't hurry," i told her.

kyo shoved her books that were lying on the floor in her bookbag, throwing the bag over her should. "yeah i'm ready, lets go!"

------

"ugh im so dead, i can't wait to eat!" kyo yelled as she pushed her desk to face mine. "the lesson today was SO confusing, i don't know how i'm going to pass the midterms."

"well it would be easier if you were awake for more than 15 minutes kyo," i laughed, taking out my lunch bag.

"oh crap," kyo said as she opened her lunch bag up. "i forgot my drink and bread..." she looked up, giving me the eyes.

"oh no, i'm not doing this again kyo." i combatted. kyo pouted her lip, trying her best to give "cute eyes".

"pleaseeeee y/n pleaseee, just the drink PLEASE," kyo begged.

this is the second time is week kyo forgot something for her lunch.

i rolled my eyes, pushing my seat back.

"sure, but this is the LAST time, next time you're getting both by yourself," i sighed, giving in.

kyo got up excitedly. "thank you so much i literally LOVE you! i promise this is the last time."

i shook my head, smiling. i just know that isn't true.

-----

"i hope this is the drink kyo is feeling today," muttering to myself, pressing the button to dispense a yogurt drink.

kyo has a different favorite drink every week so i really hope i don't have to make another trip back.

i started making my way back to the school building but while on the walk, i noticed a soccer field. there were some boys playing there.

i got a little curious so i made my way down the hill to watch for a bit.

i noticed one boy. a boy with the number 8. with his quick movements, he steals the ball away from someone on the opposing side. his fancy footwork mesmerized me. the way he got past each defender with such ease was so cool.

he takes on the last defender, beating him easily. i gripped the drinks, awaiting to see what happens next.

he takes a shot on goal. it hits the cross bar.

next thing i know, i'm holding my nose in pain. opening my eyes to see the drinks on the floor.

"wow what a bad header! hey there!" i looked up towards the voice. "sorry about that! are you okay?"

it was him. number 8.

"uh um yeah, psh, i'm totally fine," i answered.

he looks down at the floor, bending down and picking up the drinks. he hands them to me.

"oh uh thank you, sorry about not catching the ball for you," i said, watching the ball roll down the hill.

"don't worry about it! i was the one that kicked it! sorry about that again!" he scratches the back of his head.

"say.. i've never seen you around here, are you new?" he asked, drying the sweat on his forehead with a handkerchief.

i nodded.

"yeah i moved here about a week ago actually, from the u.s."

his eyes widened.

"oh my god i've always wanted to meet a foreigner! what's your name?" he asked excitedly, shoving the rag back into his pocket.

"my names y/n..." i replied. "what's yours?"

"my name is meguru bachira! nice to meet you y/n!" he said smiling.

"oh my god y/n!!! there you are!!!" we both turned towards the noise. it was kyo, running with a bag full of pastries in one hand.

when she made her way over to us, she was breathing heavily from the running. "i was looking for you everywhere! where have you been?" she questioned.

"well i was getting us a drink and i got a little distracted. then the next thing i know i got hit in the face with a soccer ball by this guy," i said, pointing to bachira.

kyo's eyes widened. "are you okay? is your head okay?... wait...," kyo looked over at bachira. "no way...," she gasped.

"uhh is there a problem?" i asked, raising an eyebrow in confusion.

"no nothing! come on lets get going y/n!" kyo exclaimed, dragging me by my arm.

"oh uh okay...," i accepted as i caught up to match kyo's pace. i turned my head back at bachira, "bye, i'll see you later." i waved.

"bye y/n i'll see ya!!" bachira shouted, waving his hand vigorously while smiling.

i turned back to kyo, "what was that about?"

"since you're new you probably didn't know but bachira is one of the best soccer players here! he's also pretty cute so a lot of girl like him," kyo said, letting go of my arm.

"ohh well it wasn't really anything. he was just the one that kicked the ball that ended up hitting me in the face. he was just being nice," i reassured her. "but, since you say a lot of girl like him does that include you kyo?" i looked at her with a smirk.

kyo shook her head, "no of course not, he's not my type. the only boy i have eyes for is my man takeru satoh."

i laughed. "girl i have no idea who that is ..."

kyo gasped. "he's literally the CUTEST actor in the world, how do you not know who he is?"

i smiled at kyo, nudging her shoulder. "guess i get to see some of his shows today."

i looked back down at the drink boxes, one was a little bent inwards because of the fall.

i touched my nose, feeling a slight sting from the impact.

remind me never to do that again.

----

HEY GUYS!! WELCOME TO MY BACHIRA X YN FF!!!! i hope yall like it because i literally could not get over writers block </3 please let me know what yall think! thank you!! waka-chan out.

[ponett]

Hello, wanted to say thank you, I'm really glad I found your work and I find your insights very helpful.

I wanted to ask something strange, as someone who has gone out of their way to dedicate a very detailed blog to the works of an outspoken artist, can you give me advice how to maintain healthy distance with ideas and individuals I might outright oppose, but have morbid sense of curiosity about them? Or it it just better to not indulge at all?

It's a difficult balance to achieve, and I won't pretend I've always been perfect about it on TKP

The thing is that you have to not obsess over the person too much. You have to focus on their work, not detailing every single thing they've ever done or said to keep receipts on them. You do not, under any circumstances, want to turn into the freaks who make and watch hundred hour long "documentaries" on CWC and Sonichu, or the people who run the Bad Webcomics Wiki

The point is to do media criticism, not to make a callout blog. Details the artist has shared about their life may sometimes help inform your reading of the work - art isn't made in a vacuum, and artists' life experiences and worldviews often shape their art. But you don't need to pry too much and piece together their full life story and psychoanalyze them if that information isn't already available in an autobiography or whatever

On TKP, one of the most important things I do to try and keep that distance is simple: I don't follow Penders on Twitter. I don't need to know every single thing he says, nor do I need to report on it. I'll check in when I hear he's made some kind of announcement regarding his work, and when looking for behind the scenes info I'll sometimes term search on his Twitter because he's far more vocal about what happened behind the scenes than the rest of that creative team, but that's it. I'm not thinking about him every day. I also haven't gone in-depth on his non-Sonic work to help drive home the idea that TKP is a blog about the American Sonic comics with a quippy url, not a blog about shitting on Penders

(On that note: I don't interact with him directly, either. I do not need to dunk on him in his Twitter replies. I do not need to lure him into an interview where I totally own him. I am not sending him my criticism like he owes it to me to read it and improve his work. I leave the guy alone)

As the blog has gone on I've also tried much harder to be objective about him and his work. I'll admit that early on, before the blog blew up, I was eager to see what all the drama was about and why everybody hated the guy. But my goal isn't just to find excuses to hate on him, or to spread baseless gossip, and that shouldn't be the mindset you go in with. I've offered praise for some of his work where I thought it was deserved, and I frequently correct people on misunderstandings about him and the lawsuits, even defending him on certain points

This is an extremely basic and hopefully obvious element of good media criticism, but it should also be said that just because an artist depicts something doesn't necessarily mean they endorse it, and that your goal isn't to piece together the artist's beliefs based on their work and then call them out over it. It can go the other way around - you can analyze how an artist's stated beliefs and values are reflected in their work - but, like, Penders writing a story where Knuckles decides to forgive his shitty fascist uncle for no reason does not mean that Penders is a Nazi apologist. It's just a story.

Again: your main goal should be to criticize the work, not the artist

And, of course, a huge factor is simply how famous the creator in question is (and also if the creator is still alive). You wanna do a deep dive on the works of Steve Ditko and criticize his Randian objectivism? Go nuts, buddy! You wanna shit all over Lovecraft? Have at it! Wanna tear apart the neoliberal politics of Harry Potter? Well, okay, Shrieking Shack already did that one. But if the person you're thinking of doing a sprawling, in-depth teardown on is, like, a smalltime webcomic author? Some hobbyist indie dev? A fanfic writer? That sort of thing? Hell, even someone in the middle like a cartoon storyboarder, or a freelance writer who does articles for Kotaku sometimes? Maybe reconsider. Just because someone's online doesn't mean they're a Public Figure, and there's a line where a deep critical dive on someone's work quickly turns into painting a target on their back

(This ended up being more about Criticism than how to just engage with stuff you hate, but also you can just, like. Look away. And find something else spend your time thinking about.)

[walkingstackofbooks]

Treat- Gashiar "Protective Garak"

It took me quite a while to remember if I'd ever written something matching that description hehe XD (I really don't write that much Garashir, and what I do write is canon-typical-subtext with more than a dash of Garak's-a-dick-even-when-he's-trying lmao.)

But actually, yeah - a whole chapter of Vision Awry was Garak being protective over Julian - even if Julian was very much resenting it! - and that definitely was something I was very proud of. So, my apologies if you've already read it, but here's an extract from that!

<Link to ask game here!>

--

“I trust your experiment was successful?” 

Bashir scowled at him. “You really can’t let anything go, can you?” he said, frustration evident in his voice.

“I am certain you've made that observation before,” replied Garak, raising his eyebrows at the doctor. 

Bashir pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing deeply, before locking eyes with Garak. “Fine,” he said, “I’ll tell you. But I’m trusting you, Garak - you can’t tell Girani, or anyone else. Somehow, they don’t understand how important this is. But you’ll understand, won’t you?”

Garak could almost taste the doctor’s desperation. “I’m sure your explanation will be enlightening,” he said carefully; not a lie, but not a promise, either. 

Apparently it was enough for Bashir. He sat up straighter in his chair, still holding Garak’s gaze with a determined intensity - as though eye contact was a task that required great focus. 

“I think you know that this is the third time I’ve re-lived this day, and that in each of the three previous versions, Chief O’Brien died.” He paused for confirmation; Garak nodded. “Well, the first time it happened by accident - but on the second and third days I was able to synthesise a serum that allowed the time-travelling effect to take place once again. We still haven’t worked out exactly what’s happening, but to put it simply, it seems that absorbing delta series radioisotopes into my bloodstream allows me to experience a temporal shift while I sleep.”

“And that’s what you were formulating on my counter,” said Garak, mind racing to work out why Girani was supposedly so opposed to it. “Excuse my ignorance, Doctor, but that does sound rather dangerous - almost as if you’re giving yourself radiation poisoning.”

Bashir shrugged. “In effect, I am, yes,” he said, “but only very mildly, and it seems to disappear when the day resets. Trust me - I’ve given myself a very thorough medical workout, and there are no physical side-effects. It’s perfectly safe.”

“I’m glad to hear it,” Garak replied. “I assume any mental side-effects are equally well-accounted for?”

“Girani’s wrong about me being suicidal, if that’s what you’re asking,” Bashir said bluntly. 

Garak pretended to take a sip of his now-too-cold tea, watching the doctor carefully over the rim of the mug. Bashir continued to meet Garak’s eyes coolly, daring the tailor to argue back. 

“I bow to your expertise, Doctor.” 

Bashir’s eyes widened slightly before his lips settled into a smile, pleased at Garak’s response, just as Garak had known he would be. With his next question already on his tongue, Garak leant forward. 

“If I may ask, what precautions are you taking so that you don’t become so in the future?” 

Immediately, the doctor opened his mouth, but then closed it, sitting back and appearing to properly consider the question. This was satisfying; Garak had hoped that Bashir would find it difficult to just brush his words away. Although he did believe that Bashir genuinely did not think he was a danger to himself, he could not yet be certain that the doctor’s self-assessment was more accurate than Girani’s.

“I’m not going to just… give up,” said Bashir slowly, eyes flickering from side to side as he collected his thoughts. “That’s the crux of the matter, isn’t it? If I can’t save Miles, then I’m going to keep going until I do save him, no matter how I feel. And if he doesn’t die, then it’s all over anyway, and everything will be fine, again.”

“And how are you feeling, Doctor?”

“What?” Bashir looked confused, as though he actually couldn’t imagine why Garak would have asked him that.

“You said that you’re going to keep going, no matter how you feel. How are you feeling today, my dear?” 

It wasn’t sentiment asking the question, Garak assured himself. It was a natural continuation of the trap that Bashir was talking himself into, and the doctor would never answer if he didn’t believe that Garak cared. 

“You asked me something similar in the infirmary, too. Since when did we discuss our feelings?” the young man asked playfully, trying to cover up his vulnerability with a gentle laugh.

“My dear doctor, your feelings are always on display to me . Every discussion we have is positively awash with your emotions. You do not try to hide them.”

That was not entirely true - Julian simply wasn’t good at hiding how he felt. There had been many times over the years where the doctor had suddenly grown quieter, more reserved, some sort of shame stealing the passion or hurt from his voice; but it was not usually so difficult to discern what Bashir’s true feelings were. 

“Earlier, you said I was a puzzle,” Bashir said.

“Earlier, you were.”

“Then why are you asking, Garak?” the doctor replied with a soft, weary sigh. “If you’ve managed to figure me out, why not just tell me how I’m feeling?”

Sitting back, Garak clasped his hands together in front of him, considering if he should take up that invitation, and how far he could go before Bashir decided he’d had enough. 

“Well, if that’s what you’d like…” he said.

Bashir scoffed. “Everyone else seems to be, so I guess I might as well hear you, too.”

Garaks’ lips curled up into a wide smile. “You’re angry, doctor, and frustrated. You resent being put on this fifty-two-hour watch - and actually, I do believe you’re embarrassed by it, too. You’re scared it might interfere with your ability to save Chief O’Brien, and you’re distressed by the memories of watching him die. And you’re trying to ignore the possibility that it might be impossible to ever save him--”

“That’s not true!” Bashir interrupted. 

“Isn’t it, Doctor?” asked Garak blandly. “You’ve accepted that all this time travel might be…futile?”

“Of course I haven’t!” he exclaimed. “You wouldn’t either, if it was someone that you lo-- that you cared about. There’s got to be a way that Miles can survive today - and however long it takes me, I’m going to find it, you can count on that.”

“Hmm,” Garak said. “I am afraid to say that I remain unconvinced. I cannot claim to know how the universe works, but if Chief O’Brien is supposed to die today, then I suppose the day will end with Chief O’Brien dying. You cannot cheat fate, Doctor, no matter how hard you try.”

“I won’t accept that, Garak,” Bashir shot back. “You can’t know that you’re right.”

“And nor, my dear Doctor, can you,” said Garak, increasing the harshness of his voice. “How many days will it take you to stop chasing this pointless quest? Twenty? Fifty? One hundred?”

“I don’t know!” Bashir stood up sharply. “But you can jolly well bet that it won’t be today.”

“Your loyalty is commendable,” said Garak, also rising out of his chair. “But it should not be your priority. Your optimism cannot last forever, Doctor: what happens when it runs out? When will you push yourself beyond your limits, and will anyone be able to catch you when you do?”

Bashir crossed his arms. “You’d do anything for Cardassia,” he retorted, “whether or not it was good for you, loyalty to the state comes before anything else, doesn’t it? Well in the Federation, we’re loyal to our friends - they come first. I suppose I shouldn’t have expected you to understand that.”

Sometimes, Garak felt as though he was merely a spectator in his own body, hearing his voice speak words that he hadn’t yet thought of. His need to win this argument, prove himself right overcame everything else, and muscle memory took over, caution giving way to borderline cruelty.

 “They’re hardly the same, Doctor, but I would not expect you to understand that, either. You have clearly failed to grasp the most basic concept in Cardassian literature.”

“And what is that supposed to mean?”

“I speak of the repetitive epic, Doctor. There is nothing that ever really changes. Oh, small details might, you may be able to buy some extra minutes, even hours for our Chief of Operations. But in the end, you will fail, just as you’ve failed before, and you will be far better off if you accept that now. Chief O’Brien is doomed, and you will be too if you continue down this foolhardy path.”

“This isn’t a Cardassian novel, Garak, this is my life!” Bashir snarled, stepping angrily towards the tailor. “How could I live with myself if I didn’t try? If I give up on Miles, I might as well give up on myself!” 

Bashir was breathing heavily; for a few seconds, Garak watched the rough rise and fall of his chest as the doctor started to recompose himself. The momentary distraction was enough for Garak to swallow his retort, and before he could say something that he would really regret, he walked over to the replicator. 

“More tea?” he asked, causing a huff of breathless laughter from the other man. 

“Is that all you’ve got to say?” Bashir replied incredulously. “More tea? ”

“I think we’ve both made our positions clear,” Garak said. “And now, I am going to make some more tea. Would you like some?”

[crappyyuki]

Okay. Surprisingly not TFF or Zenonia but I have been a TMNT fan for like idk, a while? But my absolute personal fav would definitely be the TMNT 2012 series.

I stumbled upon it when I was like 10 or smth then I just watched it whenever it aired. Like I got so excited. Season 2 finale was ingrained into my memory.

Anyway, my favorite is Leo. At first it was because he was blue and blue is my favorite color then I read the fics and he became my all time fav. So uh here's me sharing an AU in the works.

So. I know its called Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles but I am such a sucker for human au's. I don't know why. Them being turtles is what literally made them special and makes the plot go forward. But them being ergo becoming human is just so intriguing. There are so little of them. So I decided to make my own ig. Theres two of them but imma focus on one first.

Aight. What got this AU going is what happened in the season 2 finale. After Leo gets shredded on that ambush, Shredder tells Splinter that he'd taken his son like what he did to his daughter. But like, you know what happens to Karai.

So what if Saki does that to the T?

Rather than committing defenestration, he decides to keep Leo hostage because either of those things are totally normal to do to a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. He makes Stockman use a beta brainworm on him to see its effects and if it'll affect Karai in the way that he wants to. It works. But he also turns him human. Idk I just wanted him to be human and for the others to have trouble searching for him. The in plot explanation is that he's basically a guinea pig for Karai.

But Leo is no regular ol' human. He's still on par with his Turtle self, maybe even stronger. They're basically modifying him every time to be the perfect Foot soldier to take on the turtles and Splinter. Also to track Karai because Shredder knows they're close and she'll respond positively to him than anyone else. He probably has the strength that Mutant Apocalypse!Leo has but more compact to look more deceiving.

But since the brainworm is in beta, something goes wrong.

Leo keeps fighting. He fights every single step of the way and makes it living hell for the Foot Clan. He becomes the perfect soldier under Shredder's care for a while but he eventually escapes and breaks free.

Kind of.

To brainwash Leo, Stockman initially heightens his bloodlust. To make him more violent and willing to kill innocents. Then he also has to become obedient to the Shredder and he makes him hate his family so he can enact some kind of vengeance plot on them.

But Leo thinks its bullshit and tries to get control back. He makes himself fight the worm and not submit to the Shredder at all cost. He tries to rebel as much as he can against Shredder's authority.

Since he's y'know, mutating into a super soldier, he kinda forgets the reason as to why he has to rebel. He just knows that he has to.

How exactly?

Voices.

His subconscious basically shatters itself into a million pieces as to not be able to take Shredder's orders seriously. Well, anyone of authority for that matter. But the brainworm is still there. The bloodlust is still there. He can't stop the craving of blood and violence and war and the voices need it—

Oh no. Leo doesn't need it. Nah. The voices do. They keep screaming at him to fight, to fight like there's no tomorrow, to shed blood and smear it across the pavement, to paint the blue skies/oceans red red red—

And he follows. Mostly to get some peace of mind because damn do these bitches give him headaches.

Yeah. He's not really taking a lot of it seriously. He's becomes like a Chaotic Neutral character as opposed to his usual Lawful Good. He doesn't give a shit about what's happening with New York and why these alien things are roaming the city but its good fighting and a nice discolored bloodbath that will let him have some quiet for a few hours before they start shoving their demands again.

And its fun. And he's good at it. And he's got nothing better to do. And he wants some quiet, dammit. Annoying demanding assholes.

So just imagine Splinter, Raph, Donnie, and Mikey seeing their most law abiding morally ethical son/brother willing to commit genocide like its nothing?

What you're thinking about the voices, yes. Its inspired by Technoblade. Fly high, king.

Its this actually by Derivakat's Voices:

In the midst of chaos, there is also opportunity All warfare is based on deception It's always on the verge This pent up rage that's building up You know you can't fight the urge We're burning higher, warming up Let it all out (Blood, blood, blood) Keeping your vow (Blood, for the Blood God) We want it now (Blood, blood, blood) Going out of control We're the voices in your head Gonna scream and shout we want them dead Gonna turn your vision red The battle never ends We're the voices in your mind Our justice must be blind Let chaos be divine The Blade will never die 知彼知己 Know thyself, know thy enemy 百戰不殆 A thousand battles, a thousand victories Burning remains, light the funeral pyre Breaking it up, 'cause we're tearing it down Branding the truth on a world of liars Please your god and release the hounds Let it all out (Blood, blood, blood) Keeping your vow (Blood, for the Blood God) We want it now (Blood, blood, blood) Going out of control You don't need sanity when you have anarchy You don't need government when you have covenant with your god Make them wither away, make their foundations decay You see it coming, it's judgement day We're the voices in your head Gonna scream and shout we want them dead Gonna turn your vision red The battle never ends We're the voices in your mind Our justice must be blind Let chaos be divine The Blade will never die You know you're one of us There's no escaping us There's no one you can trust So leave them all for dust You know you're one of us (One of us) There's no escaping us (One of us) There's no one you can trust (One of us) So leave them all for dust (One of us) We're the voices in your head Gonna scream and shout we want them dead Gonna turn your vision red The battle never ends We're the voices in your mind Our justice must be blind Let chaos be divine The Blade will never die

Also he has a pet bird. A crow that Leo mistakes and keeps calling a raven if you will. Why? She acts as his emotional support bird that brings him out of his fugues and homicidal tendencies. Mostly.

I wanted to give him a pet, okay?

Oh and she's in charge.

(The bird part is inspired by the Consequences of the Dead by Lisbis on Ao3

Why are all the inspirations mostly on DSMP? Idk.)

[kyliafanfiction]

What's the gripe with the Templin people? I tried watching their videos once but they seemed very boring so I don't really know anything about their content

(Full disclosure, it's been years since I watched any of their videos, so while I remember generally what they've said that pissed me off, I don't remember the specifics and I don't care to. Unlike say, Craptain America Steve "I am Drone Strikes In Human Form" Rogers, the Templin Institute does not live rent free in my head all the time, they just sublet some space every few months for a day or two) Well, My gripe is that their opinions on worldbuilding in sci-fi are very, very wrong. There's a lot of little things I didn't like or didn't agree with, like opposing the idea of a single government governing an entire world even if that world is part of (or even the capital of) a multistellar state, or saying that monarchies couldn't possibly ever function in the future because western democracies are so much more effective and efficient (*points to the United States* Not to say Monarchies are *good*, but monarchies are as capable of being effective at governing as democracies, because a monarchy is just a dictatorship where you call the dictator King, and we have a lot of functioning, for varying values of the word, dictatorships right now on earth), to saying that an Empire shouldn't call itself an Empire because it's too 'on the nose' or something to that effect, etc

But the thing that was the 'fuck this shit I'm out' for ever watching their videos again and soured me anytime anyone else links their videos and calls them "great worldbuilding advice" (seeing someone do that on a forum thread is what prompted my bitchpost) was one about sci-fi ships, and basically asserting all sorts of nonsense about what kinds of ships did and did not work/make sense (Dreadnoughts apparently are Bad™ and no serious writer should have them), ignoring that

1.) In most sci-fi settings that serve as settings for stories, games, TTRPGs, etc the classes/kinds of ships are there for narrative reasons first (in general, Templin's narrative-neutral approach to worldbuilding, while in theory sound, creates a lot of problems very quickly)

2.) The author is responsible for the space physics/etc of the universe. It's not hard to construct a universe where Dreadnoughts are the only viable form of warship for some reason. Or one where carriers rule the day, or one where carriers are actually a terrible, terrible idea, etc, etc, etc. Templin has this tendency, in their worldbuilding advice videos, to ignore that writers are gods of their own universes. Or so is my impression. They also speak authoritatively without basis, but that's kind of a me hangup, because ultimately it should be obvious it's all their opinion (I just think their opinions are bad) So I don't like them, get annoyed when I see people rec their worldbuilding stuff and can't believe I'm the only person who thinks their worldbuilding 'advice' is barely above useless half the time.

As for why right-wing neckbeard basement dwelling pissbaby shitheel fuckface morons hate them, it's that Templin Institute has "Gone Woke". The primary source of complaint for them seems to be that the Templin Institute asserted, accurately (if pointlessly, IMO) that Female Space Marines are entirely possible, if Games Workshop (the people who own Warhammer 40k) really wanted them, they could just change the lore. Under the cut for more details and context on that hot mess.

For those of you not familiar with this bit of interminable nonsense, in the Wargame (and associated setting that contains books, video games, TTRPGs and I believe at least one board game) Warhammer 40k, there exists a class of unit called a "Space Marine" which are genetically enhanced supersoldiers that are the flagship characters of the 40k universe. They get the most models made for them, the most narrative focus, etc.

Space Marines are, generally, made by taking candidates who pass a pretty grueling battery of tests, and grafting all sorts of extra organs into them that, if they survive, turns them into transhuman superpeople that are like ten feet tall, super strong/fast/etc and then gives them a pretty long lifespan. Space Marines are very, very. very, very skilled warriors and often deploy in 100-man companies that are often capable of turning the tide of planetary wars all on their own.

In-universe, the reason that Space Marines are all dudes isn't that the Imperium doesn't think women can't fight (the Imperium, as a whole, just cares if you hate the alien, the mutant and the heretic and can hold a lasgun when they conscript you into the Imperial Guard, and yes I'm oversimplifying) but that the process to create the Space Marines was made by the God-Emperor thousands of years ago using his own genes (or something like that) so they didn't work on women at the time - and the big E is on life support and has been for most of those thousands of years, and science and technology don't really advance much in-universe because it's a crapsack world setting (40k's fandom invented the word Grimdark, for reference), so even if someone was inclined to try and improve on the God Emperor's work, it would be hard to.

All of this is of course, arbitrary, because Games Workshop writes the lore. They've retconned things before, and these days their official position on 'canon' is that all published materials are from nominally in-universe sources and thus potentially biased or inaccurate. And they have had a guy named Cawl create an improved 'Primaris Space Marine' after thousands of years of work (though to be fair, in some quarters, the Primaris Space Marines went over like a lead balloon), so Templin Institute's point was that Games Workshop could say 'actually female space marines are possible because no one realized it before' or 'someone invented a way to make them possible' which is true.

This comment pissed off a bunch of idiots, most of whom are the sort of crypto/quasi/open (it does vary) fascists (or their technically apolitical buddies that give them cover) that give the rest of 40k's player base a bad name. And so they whined that Templin Institute 'went woke'.

Personally, I agree with Templin on this, but I also think this is a stupid argument and people who really want female space marines should just stop engaging with 40k and find a better game/setting to be into, because the Warhammer 40k game and setting is a horrible, terrible, noxious steaming pile of incoherent trash that should have been left on the ash heap of gaming decades ago to be replaced by better stuff.

And I say this as someone who has bought several Warhammer 40k video games, would like to buy at least one more, played some 40k-set TTRPGs a few times, reads some of the 40k novels and spends more time than she'd like to admit (that is, any) reading the 40k Lexicanum (a fan wiki). I will fully concede that the 40k game/setting is a compelling pile of trash, but it still is a pile of trash.

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 5/2/2023

some stuff i fucking HATED in this one

listening

new K. Flay AND new LUNA AURA singles out last friday but the thing that kept me company through several walks was this (billboard called it "industrial rager" which seems fine close enough) used for the yellowjackets tv show (something i have not watched and never will).

my brain has really craved repetitive lyrics recently. not sure what that's about. not a repeated lyric, but love one that goes "lipstick on the rifle". spotify

ty discover weekly.

reading

pour one out for the real ones, Vice's leftist gaming vertical Waypoint. if you've ever liked anything about the way i go about these posts you have them to thank. i would say they are the primary influence in the way i try to approach things like "is this a clever subversion that still holds a lot of love for the genre or does this not even know the rules it's trying to break". also a big factor in me going "okay this is what it says it is, this is the marketing copy and press releases" and a work says it's trying to do before assessing whether or not they do it well. may all the staff land softly, elsewhere, paid far more.

“There are a ton of destinations within gaming media that do a great job covering whether a game is worth your money. Instead, we want to focus on telling stories about why people play, and investigating how the games we love and spend so much time with come to be. Whether a game was a commercial success or has a small, dedicated community, we want to raise the conversation and take an in-depth look at the passion, people, and politics that underpin these worlds.” -Austin Walker, editor in chief until last year

the very last thing i read was this review of the new starred wars game, whose early review code sent to journalists was EXTREMELY different than what ended up shipping. this is uncommon but not unheard of, but almost nobody publishes a "null result" review like this one and it's a fascinating breakdown

This piece has, admittedly, gone off the rails, but if this had been a straightforward review, and at the end, I put an italicized section that said “based on 10 hours,” what would you say? If I’d finished the game but confessed at the end that the patched version was importantly different from the one I’d spent my time with, what then? Which review is worth more?

i also read Behind the Sun, Above the Moon, a non-binary scifi/fantasy anthology. i was not impressed with this collection in whole or in parts. it could have benefited from a stronger theme and editorial vision (i'm not actually sure this thing had an editor, now i'm looking closer?)

this has billed itself "a Queer anthology inspired by magic and the cosmos". what i was hoping/expecting this would be: a collection exploring what it means to be nonbinary through the lens of scifi and fantasy. it actually is: an almost completely human-centric collection about people who happen to be non-binary and happen to live in scifi or fantasy settings.

the critical problem is that most of them are very slice-of-life in a fantastic setting as opposed to a short story with uhhhhhh a theme and a point it makes. the worldbuilding, while often interesting, is not integral. 3/9 of these are set in a contemporary setting, and all of them could be set in a contemporary setting without losing much. 3/9 (one overlap) feature a protagonist or deuteragonist who is a cop, and all three of those read very gay assimilation-y/feel very concerned with perfect gay rep.

i don't really expect anyone to be the next o henry here, but none of them are self-contained. not the sort of ambiguous ending in the Ha Ha Im Going To Think About This For The Rest Of My Life way, they all feel like “first chapter of a planned new adult trilogy”.

i love anthologies. i am always rooting for anthologies. i am no stranger to imperfectly written speculative fiction. this one is just kind of nothing? none of these are good or particularly enjoyable examples of the form, either as short stories or as speculative fiction.

i don't actually know what tipped me off to this book, it's been on my overdrive for...two years.

watching

two out of three Magnificent Seven sequels are not worth my time, your time, or anyone else's. i have not bothered to watch Guns of the Magnificent Seven (1969, dir. Wendkos) bc i have a finite amount of time on this bitch of an earth.

i reluctantly have to hand the original some heterosexual rights. that move had a genuinely cute romance that fit in well with a particular character's growth, even if it was lifted whole cloth from Seven Samurai. this will be relevant when we discuss this franchise's hatred for women later.

Return of the Seven/Return of the Magnificent Seven (1966, dir. Kennedy), starring exactly one member of the original seven, is so poorly paced that i paused the film during an "exciting" bullfight, got up to get more snacks, got distracted, and ended up cleaning my kitchen.

there is a great deal of untranslated, un-captioned spanish throughout this movie, including the entire opening sequence. i don't know how i feel about this. on one hand, yeah, fuck them americans, and i would not call the english-language dialogue particularly crucial to your understanding of the plot. on the other hand, what.

as opposed to the original seven all being men who are fairly polite and follow some sort of code, the replacement five are all kind of sleazy? one of them only signs on bc there's an entire village full of women on their own. in other relationships, there is the KERNEL of a really fascinating fucked up family dynamic between the villain and his sons, but we don't even get hints of that until well after the halfway point. this is the original movie but less interesting and sloppier. the camerawork and effects simply are not there.

The Magnificent Seven Ride! (1972, dir. McCowan) is a really, really awful film to watch, and not just if you're a woman. this whole fucking film uses three separate instances of rape or gang rape as plot momentum. if you are not trying to fill out lee van cleef's filmography (only a thing me and @birdcfparadise are insane enough to do) this is actively skippable.

like okay. let’s just walk through the first fifteen minutes. lvc's young, new, nubile wife convinces him to let a kid who robbed a store get off with a warning instead of what lvc really wants to do, send him to jail. in return, the kid shoots lvc, kidnaps lvc's wife, and rapes and kills her on the trail. the movie, which wasn't good to start out with, does not improve from there. like the other sequel i watched, this is the original movie but less interesting and sloppier.

the one interesting choice this film makes: one of the seven is a failed journalist tailing lvc, hoping to get enough life details out of him to write a book. this is a fun period-appropriate twist and this could have been a fun proto-revisionist western/gracefully put the franchise to bed, but here we FUCKING are.

why'd i do this to myself: liked the original, like lvc.

playing

the steam collections i'm sorting things into areworking, bc i forgot i owned Call of Juarez: Gunslinger (2013, developed/published Techland). i do not remember buying this, i assume it was $1.99 in a sale at some point. this is a silly arcade-y first person shooter.

i suspect it will be the kind of thing i play through once and then completely forget about, but i will have a fun ten hours-ish.

this is a personal problem, but the moment you give me a long-distance rifle, i want to play as stealthily and perfectly as possible. (except in fallout, where it is way more fun to charge up to enemies like a very small freight train with a shotgun). this game is simply not built for stealth. this game wants you to move constantly. i do like how enemies are encountered in little groups or knots, and don't come after you if you've cleared out one group and haven't hustled along to the next. enemy AI was simply not very sophisticated in 2013. this gives me time to meander around looking at everything and going "oh i coulda got up on that water tower" or "totally missed that barrel of dynamite".

i like how over the top but un-self-serious it is so far. competent shooter, fewer of the bells and whistles we expect from a FPS these days, but we don't really need to be fucking around with health packs and more than one kind of ammo for a gun. nothing's really annoying me yet and i haven't fallen deeply in love with it, so i don't have a ton of thoughts other than "huh this is a decade old video game with decade-old design sensibilities, which isn't bad just different". stay tuned!

separate thought: i do think that the game's artstyle is about as detailed as i ever want a game to get. nothing ever really needs to be more realistic than this. i do think we peaked in 2013 and what 2013 CPUs could handle. we have better raytracing and particles and whatnot now, but that's at the cost of eerily hyperrealistic games where there is little to no non-signage visual signposting. nothing is guiding your eye through a level, things (consumables, collectibles, etc) are very easy to miss. if video games are an art form you need to pick a thing your game looks like. make a stylistic choice for christ's sake. not this game though. it's doing okay.

making

made some fake meatballs (shut up) bc the giant bag of bargain store brand meatballs i used to practically live on have risen to $20 a bag. angel hair and meatballs are easy to acquire and easy to eat, even if they do generate many dishes to wash.

making my own is not much cheaper, and raw ground meat texture is one of the worst things in the world. plus i had some carrots and oats and lentils to use up anyway. this required more chopping than my hands cared for, even though i bought pre-juilenned carrots and just sort of roughly diced them. the texture is UNSETTLINGLY like real meatballs. that sort of spongy? bouncy? mouthfeel. the taste is, of course, nothing like real meat. they are a little crumbly in actual pasta, but oversaucing whatever noodles are at the back of the pantry will help.

no pics bc they look awful. eating a lot of various lentil sludges lately partly bc i am trying to clean out my pantry before i move, and when i could still afford grocery delivery they frequently gave me green instead of the far superior red lentils.

[gatheredfates]

🎵 It's hard to choose an oc so dealer's choice! Pick one you're dying to share!

I thought about linking one of Sarrai's death-related songs but, on considering it, I thought that would make it too easy. It's pretty obvious on meeting her that she's obsessed with death, necromancy and bone collecting, but another huge part of her persona I love to explore is the horror associated with hypersexuality and femininity.

Sarrai as a character is seeped in femininity — she cloaks herself in a layer of pink and pastel that is disarming to people who first meet her; they think to themselves, 'oh, she's a young woman, she doesn't know any better' all the while, she has been tutored by her father to be a viper in the den. She plays on those preconceptions of femininity; that she must be darling, sweet, kind... but, in donning herself in pretty jewels, furs and makeup she must be naïve. There are characters, whether by their own volition or by how their players see the world, treat her like a bratty child... and she does nothing to assuage their opinion. She wants them to underestimate her — to think they can take advantage of her — because it makes it all the sweeter when she eviscerates them.

God make me pretty, you made me mean. Hate me because I'm beautiful; bitch, I don't like you either. Tell me how my ass tastes little bottom feeder!

With a lot of femininity, including traditional/pastel femininity, there is an undertone of innocence. Sarrai knows the horrors of the world in her own past; it is a deliberate choice for her to try and be 'palatable' in her conduct. So many people, however, try to push that down. They try to undermine her confidence, challenge her beliefs or condescend her because they're 'realists'. They see her focus on beauty and decay as strange and otherworldly. They don't think she takes it seriously, or that she is desecrating or being disrespectful. In spite of this, she will still try to be sweet and explain her stance until the point she realises there is no point, and then she will be cruel. She refuses to be underestimated because she chooses this line of femininity, though she is constantly bemused at how often that is the default. Either her innocence needs to be kept, or it needs to be ripped from her. There is no in between.

Sexy, cute, popular to boot Cup of Drano, lips turn blue Filler, snip and glue Am I fuckable enough for you?

There's a horror in that choice, right? If you play right into the pastel, pink 'cute' femininity, you have to accept that people will see you as a sex object. Sarrai knows this. She's also not opposed to it. But if you want to fuck her, you have to accept all of her — not pick and choose or try to mould her out of it. You have to look at the skulls on the walls and watch her wade through the muck of her mushroom collection and not be daunted by it. She has the filler, the snip and the glue because she wants it; she is mortified by the concept that other women might do it under the whim of a man. She knows, in the end, we're all going to die. What is the point of trying to appeal to a future corpse when she can live for herself and what she wants?

I'm not a girl, I'm a swarm of bees. Wrapped in a skinsuit, perfect teeth.

And that's like... the point, y'know? Femininity and sexuality deserve to be a choice: something personable that you feel, experience and give to the world; not something that is forced or expected of you. Sarrai is a girl, but she is also not a girl. She is beautiful and plays right into the concept of womanhood, but she is also just a meat sack with a bone interior like everyone else. It is important to her that she is no less feminine in high fashion sitting to her father's right than she is covered in muck after summoning a bone construct from a bog. They call it mother nature.

[huggybug]

You had gotten home from the game before Nick did. The game was extremely eventful with big hits and fights. Of course your boyfriend getting into a scrap with a guy pretty much double his size. It freaked you out a bit but at the same time you couldn't help but be turned on. You couldn't explain it but every time Nick laid a hard hit and got scrappy, it just gave you this aching sensation all over.

Nick threw his keys on the counter as he entered the house. He lets out an exhausted breath as he looks over at you. The knuckles on his right hand were bandaged up, blood starting to seep through.

"I am so fucking sore" Nick says running a hand through his hair, still damp from his shower.

You walk over to him wrapping your arms around his torso. "Let's change those bandages then I'll give you a massage before bed. How does that sound?" You ask

A smile grows on his face, he kisses your forehead. "That sounds perfect"

You take his hand and lead him upstairs. He changes into something more comfortable before he meets you in the bathroom. He takes a seat on the closed toilet as he watches you grab everything you needed. You gently grab his hand and slowly start unwrapping it.

Once you get the bandages off you examine his wounds across his knuckles  "You're crazy babe" Your focus still on his hand as you start to clean it.

Nick smiles as he admires you taking care of him. "Why's that?" He asks still watching you.

You meet his eyes but can't keep the contact. Your mimd going back to when he threw those punches and stuck up for himself. It made you go nuts, it had to be the most non sexual thing he did that turned you on. That and the way he laid the opposing players out on the ice. But he didn't know that nor did he need to know.

"Y/N?" He says taking you out of your thoughts.

You come back to reality. "Because Nick you're not exactly the tallest guy out there. You can't be just throw punches at guys who tower over you. And you're not even an enforcer, don't try and be one. Let them handle it"

"So you want me to just stand there? Take the hits or cross checks in hopes my teammates take care of it for me."

Gently starting to wrap his hand. You lick your lips before answering. "Well, no. I just don't wanna see you being flopped around out there."

"Then I gotta do what I gotta do" There was a moment of silence as you finished wrapping his hand. "But you like when I do it" He says smirking taking his hand off the counter, moving it around.

"No, it freaks me out" You lie

He gives you a look as he tilts his head. "You sure? You don't find it hot or anything?" He smirks again. He was catching on to you.

You lick your lips. "N-no. You give me a heart attack every time you put yourself in those situations."

He steps closer. He pushes your hair behind your ear and leans in closer. Lips just an inch away from your ear."I know you're lying" Your breath hitches "The way you can't look me in the eyes, gives it away" He leaves a light kiss just in front of your ear. His lips then hover over yours. He knew he was right.

You go to speak but nothing comes out. He smirks and kisses you softly at first. You press yourself against his bare chest deepening the kiss. Nick hums into the kiss as he slowly backs up into the bedroom. In the process of getting to the bed you lost your shirt.

He backs into the bed and sits at the edge. You stand between his legs as you continue to make out. Nick's hands run up your thighs and over your ass. He gives your ass a light squeeze before you climb into his lap. Straddling him, you to feel him grow under you. Smirking into the kiss, you start to grind on him.

Low groans escape his mouth between kisses. His hands holding just above your hips. He must have had enough because in seconds he was flipping you over.

"I thought you were sore?" You question him

"Don't worry about me" He says with a smirk

Hovering over you he begins to kiss down your neck. As he hits your sensitive spot you arch your back towards him and he’s able to unclasps your bra.

Nick suddenly gets off the bed. He turns to you grabbing your waistband and pulling your pants and underwear off. After he discards his sweats. He re-positions himself between your legs. Running his tip between your folds as he watches you squirm.

He pushes into you and slowly starts to thrust in and out. He leans down over you and kisses by your ear again.

"This is too gentle for you, isn't it?" He says before sitting back up and looking at you. A smirk plastered on his face

You look up at him with pleading eyes. He knew you wanted more but you were going to have to use your words.

"Nick, please" You whimper

He grabs your hips "Please what? What do you want baby?" He teases

"I want you to fuck me so hard. Please” You beg him

Nick didn’t say anything. His grip got tighter and he started pounding into you. Your mouth fell open as you threw your head back. You grab at Nick’s biceps, digging your nails into them.

“You like that so much better don’t you?” He says as he thrusts in and out causing you to be numb.

Nothing coming out of your mouth but you nod. He lets go of your hips and leans towards you. Holding himself up on his hands. His chain falling just above your face. He continues to thrust as you wrap your legs around him.

“Fuck…Just like that” You breathe out.

Nick kisses you hard. Groaning into the kiss as you were getting close. Wrapping your arms around him keeping him against your body.

“You close baby girl?” He asks you feeling your walls clamp around his dick.

“So fucking close” You groan

Nick break free from your arms and sits up thrusting harder into you. Getting you there faster. You hips buck up into him as you reach your high. Letting out a mouthful of curse words he fucks you through it.

Moments later Nick pounds into again hard and quick. His last few thrusts sloppier as he fills you up with his load. He leans down and kisses you before flipping down on the bed beside you. As you sit there catch your breath. Your legs start to shake.

Looking over at Nick he doesn’t say anything he’s just smirking away. Before he’s getting up to grab a towel to clean you up.

“I’m gonna ask you again. You like it when I get rough in games, don’t you?” He asks as he cleans you up.

You don’t say anything as your face goes red and hide under a pillow. Nick laughs “So yeah?”

-nick smut anon

sorry no warning. wasn’t fun having to do a rewrite but i honestly think this was better than what i originally had. looove youuuu :)

omg i just saw this-

[blorbocedes]

any tips on BSing my way through an oral exam in my non-native language? i am in a higher class level than i should be so everyone’s like… fluent and i’m just there. i trust you with my life, do you have any tips for faking confidence + proficiency? 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

you shouldn't trust me at all. that being said I know a thing or two about faking things ^—^ and I used to be a language instructor so here's some tips:

if you have classes left, Speak in class. it's okay if you're wrong. if you're discussing a text in class, raise your hand and bring up a point. (if you're scared of looking dumb, look the text up online, use a scholar's point) as long as your professor Knows Your Face. this is important, esp in oral exams, you want your professor to remember you out of a class of 45. they're more likely to be lenient. in fact, if they have consultation hours, just show up with whatever you have a problem with. do not let shyness or fear of other people being better stop you from accessing all the help and resources you can get!

for the exam itself, get a friend who is fluent and talk to them! have them correct you. doesn't need to be exam material, just so you have the confidence of speaking it causally. if you can practice for the exam, that's even better! but try it make that language something you're engaging with in your free time, like watch a movie or read a book/articles, just so you're in a state of familiarity.

for language proficiency, it matters if you're confident even if you stumble grammatically, over someone who Knows how to say it but stutters/goes "uhh...umm." this is a protip, when you find yourself going "umm" just stay quiet. it's much better to take a pause "what Foucault meant in this text .... is," and gather your thoughts than use filler words like, like. instead of I guess/I think, try for "in my opinion" which is the same thing but it sounds more Assured.

now most importantly, for the exam itself.

WRITE A SCRIPT AND PRACTICE IT. it doesn't have to be the actual exam paper obv lol, but if you know what kind of questions are coming or what topic it might focus on, or even what previous seniors' questions were on, write a script and then practice it. time yourself. do the first couple of runs reading it, and then see if you can explain the concept without needing to look at it. do not memorize it! make it your own, just until you feel comfortable enough.

you don't need to be perfect, or fluent, you need to show you have a level of understanding. and you don't need to understand the entire intricacies of the language! only the syllabus that's focused for your class. what teachers are grading on is how much you've Understood, as opposed to reciting to perfection.

the more prepared you are, the more confident you will feel. finally, it does not matter if other people are less or more fluent than you. there will always be someone better. you are only in competition with yourself, can you be better than the level you are right now?

and this is just what I do, but I dress really slay during exams, so that way even if it goes badly I can't feel As Bad in a bombastic fit. get enough sleep, be hydrated, shower, wear an outfit you like, and know you have done all that you could.

best of luck!

[heretherebedork]

Thank you very much for your in-depth response! (Looks like I can't comment on the post, so I hope you don't mind me sending another ask to respond back. :) ) I thought about it some more, and IDK, maybe I just read and watched too much Japanese media when I was growing up, haha. Because (at least at that time, not sure about nowadays) even so many canon straight couples in J-fiction never showed much, or any, physical evidence of their partnership (sometimes even barely any verbal evidence either, TBH), especially in works where the plot was the main focus (as opposed to works where the main focus was on the romance itself, of course, because usually there was at least some in those haha!), so granted I likely have a large bias/skew on the shapes that fictional coupleship can take from all of that. The heat level itself wasn't really my point though (as I certainly am not expecting heat out of Museum's main pair either haha), it was just that for me it's still possible for characters of any gender(s) to be in an obvious canon relationship/partnership in-story even without any onscreen/on-page physical stuff being necessary (again, though, I admit that that probably includes a lot of my old-J-media bias talking :) ). I understand your discussion on all of that, though, as well as your point that in the current day, being super vague about relationships (particularly non-straight ones) doesn't really cut it. As for Midnight Museum, IDK, to me there just seems to be way too much obvious romance coding being used in everything to do with the main pair (both in terms of cinematography cues as well as all of the classic tropes present in the physicality they do have so far as well as the dialogue and script overall) for them to just end up explicitly passing it off by the end of the show as a 'Nope Not Any Kind Of Partnership No Way They Were Just Good Friends Y'all' or something, haha (especially with it being a Thai show, instead of, like, The Land Of Censorship Of Which We Do Not Speak or something, you know? :P ). Anyway, I love reading your thoughts on things, so thank you for the good discussion on this! :) <3

Glad to see that my response did speak to most of it.

But I still don't think there's going to be any romance. I don't think they're going to be brothers, I just think the show is... never going to touch on the idea of romance with them. They will be Something Important but not romance.

Yes, Thailand does produce queer shows and lots of them but I would not expect them to do a queer show without any kind of advertisement or mention or showing of it, even now. That doesn't feel like the GMMTV style, honestly. Maybe I'll be wrong. But who knows?

No idea why you can't reply to the post, my replies are definitely turned on.

Anyway, I get the idea of an implied relationship but I think it shows where the whole of their relationship involves lots of Mystic and Fated and Time Travel things like Midnight Museum it'd be very hard to just kind of do an implied vague romantic relationship if they were going to do that way.

I also get that a lot of more plotty shows can have background barely-there romances and that Japanese media definitely

I definitely look forward to it but I am very much in the 'this show will not be queer' camp just from the way the show has been teased. I suspect the romance is just a tease, a bit of baiting, them playing with Gun's typical roles.

Honestly, I'll just be happy if neither of them has a full on female love interest through the show. That's my entire hope. Just leave it vague enough that I don't have to fight canon. I mean, not like I haven't fought canon dozens of times before but, you know, I just want it easy this time.

[keefwho]

July 17 - 2024 Wednesday

11:02pm

7/10

Today was pretty normal and chill, I did all my work and socialized just a little. Just as much as I needed. Breakfast sucked because I poorly attempted stir fry again with these shitty canned veggies of mine. I took a chill day at work and finished the commission I had quickly before doing my own thing for about 90 minutes which came out pretty good. I watched 3 episodes of The Boys today, during breakfast, lunch, and in the evening. Its basically all I did when I was done working. I also started planning my book club world and came up with some pretty good ideas. I have a vision in my head about it and am passionate to pursue it. I refined this bubble chart thing I'm doing for therapy to look really pretty and easy to edit. Its about figuring out what is contributing to my struggle connecting with others so I have something to focus on. I think its coming out great.

This evening I was perfectly okay being on my own and chilling for the first time in awhile. DS and I had some amazing conversation too and I think it's because I didn't have stupid shit on my mind like usual. Instead I had pursued my interests today and actually had something with substance to talk about for once because of it.

We talked about sexual shame a bit and I think it's something I want to start making some progress on. The determination I made lately was that the way I would fantasize about certain people I knew was wrong because they might not have approved of it. Thats something thats been eating me up for awhile and it feels good to admit it so I can stop doing this damage to myself. But I might write in depth about that in another post.

Today's theme was acceptance but I didn't really do anything for it. I'm going to make up for that now. I know at least one exercise I can do is to write about an experience I know I haven't moved on from in some way. I can tell because of how often it comes up in my mind. This one is about my first sexual experience.

It was with RS. We had planned our first meetup and if I remember correctly, I was looking forward to it genuinely. I was worried too because of how agoraphobic I was at the time but I was ready for the challenge. The meetup went pretty okay, he was understanding about my discomfort regarding going too far from home for too long and accommodated for it. We had a lot of fun, with a few awkward times in between. There were definitely some red flags though. I remember we had talked about how hot it would be if I got super drunk so he could fuck me like that. I wasn't opposed to it either, but looking back it was clearly a recipe for disaster. We were fetishizing a form of non-consent because ideally I would have been drugged to the point of incoherence but that wasn't possible. Very stupid stuff. Anyways the experience I'm here to accept is the fact that I blew him twice. I don't necessarily regret it but I do like to pretend it didn't happen because it didn't go down the way I'd have liked. Sort of like I don't want my first time to count since it wasn't perfect. But it does, it did happen. The fact is I sucked dick and he came in my mouth. It's the brutal, honest truth. And it was fun at the time. I remember how exhilarating it was to be touching someone else, to feel someone else's cock like that. To taste it. My heart was beating out of my chest, I felt like I was going to pass out. I didn't give good head and it wasn't as personal as I'd have liked. These days the perfect first time would have been with someone I had complete trust in and didn't feel nervous with. Where I didn't feel a need to perform. I know given how closed off I was that no, I didn't trust him deep down. I didn't feel very intimate. I felt like I had to uphold a standard. It wasn't the connection I think I wanted. But I still did it, there is no denying the experience. It's on my mind sometimes and I always try to treat it like it was just a dream. No more. I am not a virgin by my standards. I committed a lackluster sexual act during a period where I was very unsure of myself and malleable. I know why I did it and why I was in that position. I really don't feel the need to judge myself for it with the knowledge I have now. I think I want to tell this to someone else just to really get it out there and admit it.

[akai-anna]

hiya, it's your DCMK gift giver! has it really been over a week?? sorry for not messaging you before then--- but! Your gift should be coming out sometime on February 11th :D Although, I'm not sure what time zone you're in, so give or take depending on when I've posted it that day?? Either way, it's coming your way! No way to stop it! I'm really grateful for the patience you've given me, thank you! ^_^

I'm glad your interview was good, and that your job is enjoyable! It's always such a relief when that happens, huh? But gosh, I'm glad no one was hurt when your car was destroyed too! I hope the damage hasn't caused too much trouble for you guys?

Things have definitely settled down further for me--- it feels like things always happen during the holidays! But I guess they're just more memorable because they happen during that time of year? Either way, February will hopefully be great!

gahhh the elementary squad and our two shrunken adults make me so emotionalll

And oooo! I remember seeing posts about your reread a semi-while ago! I love watching old episodes and stuff, but I admittedly haven't reread the actual old chapters in a while! How has it been? Noticed anything that's been drastically changed compared to current chapters?

as for my fic preferences, honestly i'm pretty open to anything if it's good, but fic about the early-ish game (ran, kogoro, conan, detective boys & Haibara, takagi, etc) cast is usually the ones i like and understand the best ^_^ Identity reveals is one of your favored tropes, right? How do you imagine that would like. Actually Play out in the series?? Or how you would like it to play out?

And soulmate AUs too! What do you think you like about that universe? DCMK has such surprisingly good soulmate AUs--- it's probably one of the only fandoms where I see a good chunk of platonic soulmates, which is always nice

SHOW ME ALL THE PICTURES OF YOUR DOGS I WILL NEVER COMPLAIN (if A Dog Looked At Me and asked for something I would Simply Do It) how long have you had her??

and oohhhhhh those old manga sites ey? That's so cool! I know it was like a long time ago, so no pressure to remember, but would you say there was anything different about the story/characters in Hungarian as opposed to English? I remember reading a couple of books whose characters have like, a *completely* different vibe in their original language compared to English

first fandom experience is all indeed a treasure-- i was always a lurker in my early days, but it is so nostalgic, isn't it? and hahaha totally not obsessed at all for me too *sweats and laughs as well*

it does feel like coming home :,)

for moi? how I got into detective conan? Goshhh it's weird because i have a very specific memory when I was younger of watching the rollercoaster episode in the english dub (censored blood and everything) at 2 AM on adult swim or something? And I was like, INTO the episode and the episodes following it so much, but then I never found it again! And then like, years later, I find the NEW episodes and start watching it, and then realize that's where that very specific memory came from! It was hard to find the old episodes at that time, but I searched high and low of the internet for them, eventually found them, and got into it! And, well... here we are too!

Oh! I feel like I should have a new question with every ask, so lemme ask another. You said Conan's usually your main focus (and honestly, probably with me too, he's the fandom's special lil guy), right? If you like making headcanons, do you have any personal headcanons for him?

I feel like I ask quite a few questions in these asks, haha, so don't be obliged to answer all of them~!

I love hearing your thoughts too, so I hope we talk again too! Sorry again for the wait, even if you said no pressure. Anywho, I hope you have a relaxing day ahead of you ^_^

HELLO THERE DARLING, I'M HAPPY TO SEE YOU AGAIN!!!

And thank you for letting me know!!! I'm currently GMT+1, and I will definitely keep my eyes peeled on that day. *vibrates excitedly*

Either way, it's coming your way! No way to stop it!

I also love how this sounds so positively ominous! *laughs*

And gosh, truly no problem! It's the least I could do! Thank YOU for your willingness to be my gifter and all your effort!

And it's certainly nice, having a job that doesn't stresses me out 24/7, and allows me to breathe. And one that I find joy in, so far. It really makes a difference.

And thank you, we are glad that no one got hurt. As for the car... *cringes* Let's say that we have some new expenses to think about. We'll... manage something.

Holidays are always super busy for us, and yeah, usually life has a way of striking around holidays for sure sdjfnfkjsg- (Partly why I decided to join this exchange: not happening in the holiday season, which means less stress and more time to have fun!)

I'm happy to hear things settled down a bit for you! May your February be great and blessed! <3

THE ELEMENTARY SQUAD AND OUR DEAR FAKE CHILDREN ARE GOOD AT THAT. I especially love how the friendship affects both sides: so much inspiration there, gosh.

Still doing the reread, yup! (Currently in the middle of the Okino Yoko case.) Going slowly thanks to me wanting to do way too many things at once and life being life and throwing unexpected responsibilities my way which I need to attend to.

Nothing truly new so far. Though, my opinion has been the same for a while on Olde VS New chapters. Cases used to feel more genuine, and had different vibes. They felt more organic in a way. New stuff is just... well, let's say I generally don't have a flattering opinion on new content. I tend to like little scenes or interactions, rather than the whole cases now. Somehow older cases feel like... even if they didn't advance the plot, they felt like there was a purpose to them, other than just stalling for time. Newer non-plot related cases feel a bit... empty? Transparent? I'm not sure what is the right word to describe it. (Perhaps the best way to put it that the heart/passion/love is missing from them?)

I personally tend to go back to older chapters a lot: there is just so much charm to them, and they bring me so much comfort. (Same with rewatching.)

But as I'm also rewatching the anime (oh dear) it's interesting to see the differences between the anime and manga. Earlier anime tends to deviate from manga in some cases (like adding the Detective Boys to the mix from episode 1, or changing some of the plot for certain cases), while in the middle-ground the anime includes extra scenes (which are not in the manga). Also one can observe how earlier episodes have a faster pace to fit 1 case into 1 episode (and thus cutting certain manga scenes), while later on they make episodes slower paced... But I'm realizing that I'm rambling again. *coughs* Moving on.

*taps chin* Given that information, I have a couple fics in mind. *nods* I need a bit of time to gather the fics I want to rec you, so I'll be getting back to this!

THIS ALSO REMINDS ME!!! THAT I HAVE READ AND CAUGHT UP TO THE MOST RECENT UPDATE IN FORGED! Gosh this fic, bless you for reccing it, I absolutely ADORE IT: the way the author took both stories and merged them in such an organic way, keeping the charm of both... Such great execution, and I'm in love with the character interactions in this, truly, thank you, I can safely say that this fic now made it onto my Eternal Favourites list.

And gosh, yes, I'm generally weak for the identity reveal trope ( and not just in DetCo, but others too, like Miraculous Ladybug or Danny Phantom).

And... I have very different answers for How It Would Actually Play Out and How I would Like It To Play Out.

A very short summary (sorry, had a long day and my battery is low, brain is slow) of how I imagine it would go in Gosho-Canon: Shinichi only tells Ran he was Conan (not the full extent of all, I think, just parts of it) only after the BO is down, Ran forgives him without much issue, and a most general happy ending. Marry, kids, and the like, or being back to the old everydays (but now dating). Kazuha might be told too, but I sort of think Gosho would gloss over that detail. I'm not sure how the Detective Boys would fair in this situation, I sort of feel their situation might be glossed over too.

As for how I would like it to play out: at this point in time Ran (and I want to think Kogorou too!) would have already figured the Shinichi=Conan thing out and stuck with that belief (HELLO, SUSPICION ARCS? ALSO OCCHAN IS A DETECTIVE AND EX-POLICE OFFICER?) OR Shinichi would have already told Ran (HELLO DESPERATE REVIVAL ARC? ALSO THE VERY FIRST NIGHT OF CONAN'S EXISTENCE?). And I want to think Kazuha would be in the know too, at this point. (Either told or figured it out herself.)

But if you mean without alterations to the current canon: I think Shinichi would finally tell Ran about PART of the situation (perhaps in a rush bc of danger or after BO take down) be it as Conan or Shinichi. I believe Ran would need a lot of time to think on this (all those lies, the gaslighting [I don't use the word lightly, I really think it applies here], the breach of trust), but I think she, being the kind, gentle yet strong soul she is, would forgive Shinichi. Shinichi would need to work hard to regain Ran's trust, but I think in the long run, they would work it out, since they are very important to each other (as I ramble about it in this particular Relationship Bingo ask, ShinRan is the ultimate example of the soulmate trope to me). Compared to how I imagine Gosho-Canon, this would take a lot more time. And this would also include telling the kids about the situation, and Occhan, and Kazuha too, and some of Shinichi's other allies too. (All the bonds and connections he made as Conan, gosh, GOSH, so many, I refuse, REFUSE to believe Shinichi would just let these bonds go. LIKE ONE TAKAGI WATARU!!!!)

Now I'm curious how you would see this go down, so I would like to throw back the question at you: how would you imagine (be it altered or not-altered from canon) the reveal play out?

I think what I love about the soulmate trope... is the potential. I love seeing various interpretations of the trope, be it romantic or platonic. How the concept of soulmates are treated in universe (is it common? is it rare? is it special? also what is the view on soulmates?) and by the characters themselves (do they see it as determinism? do they want to ignore it? are they fond of the concept? or even obsessed with finding their soulmate?), and what the people involved in the soulmate bond make of that connection.

And yes, there are so many good platonic soulmate fics in DCMK fandom! (I go on the hunt regularly so I know, haha.)

More Rosie Pics Incoming: LOOK AT MY TINY BABY GIRL.

(And gosh, same, I Adore Dogs so much, SUCH DARLINGS THEY ARE and I'm weak-) And I've had her since she was a tiny fluffball -

(God she used to be SO TINY. Well... Tinier.) - when we brought her home on one memorable May 1st, 10 (!!!!) years ago.

It was a pretty cool site for sure, and something very unique at the time (for Hungary at least). As for what was memorable and different... I guess some names and Heiji's accent! The fan-translator at the time tried to localize them.

It's not the manga, but since we have the first 2 seasons and the first movie of DetCo dubbed in Hungarian... Shinichi/Conan has more of a cheeky vibe to him, than in the original Japanese. And there are some really hilarious (in a good way) words and phrases he uses. So Much Attitude In Such A Small Body.

Very nostalgic indeed. :3

And I love how you have that very specific memory, especially of the first episode! *laughs* It is certainly a case that leaves an impression (high velocity decapitation kjdfnkjgnkd). Your story also reminds me of my first anime experience a bit. :')

And gosh, he is really the fandom's special lil guy for real (and I love that). And I sure do (and I adore headcanons)! But it's also late, and I have an early day tomorrow too, thus no headcanons today. Though, I will definitely include some headcanons about Shinichi/Conan together with my fic recs for you! -> EDIT: HERE IS THE POST WITH SOME RECS AND HEADCANONS!!!

Dear. Darling. Please. I LOVE QUESTIONS. I just tend to ramble too much, so it takes me time to answer (and of [free] time, I have a much smaller amount than I'd like), and I'm also easily distracted which doesn't help. So, ask as much as you'd like, and I'll try to answer as soon as I can manage!

Now a question for you: do you have a favourite case? If so, which one(s) and why?

Thank you for chatting with me (and also indulging me), and I'm very excited at the prospect of talking with you again soon! And no worries, as I said, no pressure and I meant it! <3

And *laughs* not much relaxing today, but I think I will have a good sleep if nothing else. :'D And perhaps I can catch a bit of relaxing tomorrow afternoon (hopefully)!

Whatever time it may be for you, I hope you are enjoying yourself, dearie!

[heir-of-snakes]

Lots of interesting thoughts here - thanks for engaging. Another long post ahead because if there's one thing I am good at, it's talking too damn much.

To start, I know that Sel is a trope (and still, I'm not sure that this disqualifies a character from having depth). The second half of my response was pointing out that Nick is also a trope - which is something I felt was missing in your initial post. It seemed as though you were creating a comparison in which Nick was your preferred character because of his lack of adherence to a particular trope versus your perception of Sel. It seems as though your issue is less with Sel being a trope and more with him being a trope you just happen to not like. "I specifically remember Sel admitting that Bree was obviously a oblivious once-born and he can’t believe he ever thought otherwise once he spent time alone with her in the trial. Part of that is to save his pride, but if he was willing to admit it was foolish to focus so much on Bree as a threat, then I think we can too."

I think it's important to put this sentiment into context. He says this is the case after he's had the opportunity to closely watch her throughout her training, which makes him privy to information he did not have before. Then, again, he makes his intention to back off clear by stating he investigates threats as opposed to people like Bree who have powers he doesn't understand but still pose no danger to the Order as she can't control them (277).

This statement has less to do with acceptance of having willfully ignored certain signs and more to do with his conditioning to accept fault. He bitterly calls himself a fool for ever having believed her to be an uchel. We, as the readers, know that Bree was never a threat, but Sel couldn't have. I don't agree with the notion that he was foolish to fully assure himself that she was not a threat given just how little information he had to go off of. Taking his statement as assuming genuine responsibility for negligence doesn't take into account the role that shame plays in his character, his position as Kingsmage, and the specific conditions surrounding his upbringing and his birth.

"Sel's standards for his own behavior are terribly high, it's true - and they come at a terrible cost. I can't help but think of Sel's self-recrimination. His acceptance of Erubus's charges of negligence." Bloodmarked (208).

As for Sel continuing to hurt Bree - I didn't claim otherwise. I said he doesn't continue to try to kill her, which is of course a low standard, but if the threshold for a suitable romantic partner is set at someone not hurting you, neither Sel nor Nick make the cut. I'm not sure that anyone does, but that's beyond the point. Yes, he continued to hurt her for reasons depicted throughout both books, but I admittedly don't understand why someone hurting you diminishes your ability to communicate and decide for yourself whether it's a dealbreaker. This goes for both love interests.

I'm also confused about what the genuine issue is with apologizing for your actions - morally grey as they may be - and altering behavior afterward to convey sincere remorse once realizing you were wrong. Are we meant to permanently write Sel (or anyone) off as toxic with no path for redemption (this has limits, of course)? I offer no excuses for mesmering her to hide his visual process of succumbing to the blood. While wanting to hide the figuratively ugly parts of yourself from people you love is normal, doing so by manipulating their perception and infringing on their autonomy is not. Bad Sel.

However, when presented with this, Bree blatantly calls out the abuse of his powers and verbalizes that she deserves better than that. She asserts that she can't trust him or herself if everything is based on lies. She communicates. She is not some spineless, docile character who perpetually rolls over and takes whatever Sel dishes out without proper correction. But this scene plays out in a way that reveals the nature of Sel's shame that I spoke about before along with Bree's strength. He doesn't expect her forgiveness or her understanding. He is fully prepared to follow her order for him to leave and go off to find Nick should she decide to give it. While that order never comes, that doesn't mean she forgives him.

In fact, she states on 436 that she hasn't fully forgiven him and isn't sure how they'll ever be able to "repair that rift." She thinks forgiveness is possible when they are in a place of "protection and peace," but she explicitly states that they're not there yet. There is no part of Bree that thinks, "It's okay to love him even though he hurt me because he has valid excuses." She listened to his reasoning and understood it, but understanding is not synonymous with brushing it to the side. There have been numerous times in my own relationship where I have been hurt, taken the time to understand the reasoning/explanation, and still asserted that the actions weren't okay after opening lines of communication to promote healing and growth.

I'm not exactly sure what you meant by, "I actually think this excuses thing is gross." I'll refrain from commenting on that to avoid the risk of an uncharitable interpretation on my part.

As for Nick in Bloodmarked, his temporary decrease in importance can be explained in that his chief role in Legendborn was to be "Scion of Arthur," Bree's passage into the world of the Order. He doesn't have that role anymore and needs to identify his sense of self beyond it. Still, I think it's too early to make claims about the importance of his character overall, especially since it's been heavily hinted at that he will be a major player in the upcoming release. Even in Bloodmarked, it's clear that something big is brewing with Nick specifically as he develops an identity beyond the Order by seeing more of what's out there, so I don't consider my lack of seeing Nick as written off to be a "problem." I don't purport to know the plotline of an unfinished series, so it's something we'll have to see in March 2025.

Thanks for responding - cheers.

P.S. I sincerely hope my first response didn't come across as aggressive or rude as that wasn't my intention. Tone is difficult to gauge via text, so I wasn't sure if I was looking too deeply into some parts. I don't like for things to be vague and I thought it best to make myself clear.

Huh… really interesting to read that you think Sel is more trope than character when it seems like that’s how everyone feels about Nick. I have always felt weird about not really being into Sel. We have seen the brooding, dark haired love interest a million times.

Exactly my thoughts. I never really liked that type of character to begin with. I think people don’t see Sel as a trope because 1. they eat that trope up and 2. they think being morally gray means a character has depth. They do not, in fact, have depth. They are all copy and pastes of each other.

I actually rolled my eyes when Sel was first introduced because these characters are so predictable. They all start off hated by the FMC (yet she always ogles him). They all hurt people, including her. But they all also do some nice things which makes them immediately forgivable in the FMC’s and audience’s eyes. For years I’ve been wondering why these characters are so popular in books made for girls in their formative years. Why are we trying to teach them to love men that hurt them?

About Nick, I think he seems like a trope because Deonn wrote him off in order to give Sel a romance arc. He could have had so much more depth than Sel with the identity crisis thing going on, but then the romance Deonn wanted wouldn’t have worked.

I try to write MMCs more like Nick. I will admit it is challenging to create a character who is both nice and compelling, but there are ways to make it work. And we need to make it work. We need more diverse storytelling than falling back on what everyone else is doing, and we need to move past the internalized misongyny that keeps making its way into books made for girls.

I hope the girlies aren’t too mad about this take.

[jean-kayak]

Anon Request: heyyy! so like i LOVED the haikyuu x thick black gf, do you think you could do it for the generations of miracles too? if that’s a lot maybe just akashi because i love that man

A/N: Here it is, anon! And I did all of them for you, so I hope you like it! (and yes it is 2 am)

Word Count: 2.5k

Haikyuu!! version here and here!

》Poor baby would be overwhelmed

》He wouldn't know what to do lmfao, and he probably be a stuttering mess when he first meets you

》He's probably nervous to touch you at first because he doesn't really know where to start and because there's so much of you

》But once he gets comfortable enough, he always wants you on top of him or on him in some way shape or form

》He always denies you when you think you might crush him because he really loves the weight of you on him, and he probably prefers to be the little spoon

》I feel like he's not big on getting head, but when you do, he feels like his life has changed

》It feels so good, he doesn't know what to do or where to go lmfao, so he just ends up squirming a ton, the moans he's making completely out of his control

》His body definitely feels like jelly when he cums, and he probably won't move for a while lmfao

》Now when he goes down on you? He was mesmerized by how much slick you had produced and all you guys had done was made out

》He'll just lay there between your legs, gripping your thighs tightly when you squirm under his gaze, but he can't help but watch

》He'll play with your nipples, run his fingers just shy of touching you where you want him just to see if you'll get even wetter

》And when he finally tastes you, he wonders why he wasn't doing this sooner, and you don't think you've seen him move with such enthusiasm off the court before

》He's moaning into your folds, his hands digging into your thighs as he eats you out with more fervor

》In that moment in time, he was content with staying in between your legs for the rest of his life

》But then you finally slept together, and he really thought that the air had been snatched from his lungs

》He can barely last long when he slides in, and he doesn't even move when he bottoms out lmfao, he just rests his face in your neck

》His hands are just scrambling and grabbing all over your body as he tries to stop himself from cumming and he hasn't even moved yet

》He obviously doesn't last long 💀 but he makes sure he cums, and the moment he slides out, he's out like a light lmfao

》And he definitely goes and buys you a ring the next day

》Fangirls, who? Mans forgets them the moment his eyes land on you

》Like seriously, he literally ignores them and only talks to you, walking right past them, and he probably doesn't realize that they're standing there

》Your boobs are definitely his favorite part of you, he'll lay on them, touch them, squeeze them, doesn't matter, his hands are always on them

》He's eccentric in public, but the moment you go down on him, he's nothing but a stuttering mess, moans and whimpers the only thing coming from him

》It literally takes everything in him to not buck up into your mouth, which feels like heaven,

》Puts a hand on your head to try and ground himself because he definitely feels like he's floating

》When he cums, the world seems to just disappear, and you have to rub over his face to make sure he's okay because he hasn't moved in a while

》And after you've made him feel spineless, it's only right for him to return the favor of course

》Once he starts though, he doesn't really plan on stopping and he never does it to just return the favor

》His eyes widen when he realizes how soaked you are when he brushes his fingers over your folds, his ministrations soaking his hand and wrist

》You're producing so much that he can't let it go to waste, so he's sliding in between your legs, and he freezes in shock for a second before attaching his mouth to your folds

》He definitely wants to stay there for the rest of his life, practically drowning in your slick, not really caring if it kills him

》Coaxes you to orgasm quickly just so he can taste more of you, that becoming his only priority

》And he makes sure to catch every last drop, the last thing he wants to do is waste it

》And when he's finally inside you, he tries to chuckle, thinking that there's no way you can feel this good, but it's cut off with a garbled moan

》You really do feel this good, your cunt hot and wet, sucking him back in every time he pulls out

》He feels a shudder run up his spine, his body practically shaking with euphoria as he can't focus on anything else but you

》His eyes roll when you clamp around him, and his orgasm comes out of nowhere, his body going rigid

》He can barely catch himself, his forehead resting against yours as he tries to calm his heartbeat down. "So, you wanna get married tomorrow?"

》Please, this man would have such a hard time making basic conversation lol

》He has a hard time trying to focus on talking to you because he keeps focusing on your body

》Definitely just freezes in place whenever you wear shorts or anything that shows off your thighs

》You're pretty sure you saw his nose bleeding one time, and he brushed you off when you asked, his face as red as a tomato

》He's like Kuroko, hesitantly touching you because he doesn't know what to do because you're so thick

》Once he gets comfortable and over that completely flustered phase, his hands are continuously on your thighs

》You find him squeezing them softly or laying on them, totally mesmerized by how soft they are

》When you offer to go down on him, he's quick to say that you don't have to, but you insist that you want to do it

》Needless to say, he never tries to convince you otherwise again

》The blush on his face spreads down to his chest, sweat coating his forehead as he has trouble controlling the noises he's making

》And the pleasure is so great that he actually goes silent, the only indication that he's cum is when you feel him shoot down your throat

》You actually have to check on him, and you chuckle softly as you fix his glasses, his breathing ragged

》I feel like he's one of the guys who's never really understood the appeal of going down on somebody, but he's not opposed to it

》And his opinion changes when he finally sees how soaked you get from just a tiny amount of foreplay and when your slick lands on his tongue

》You've actually never seen him put more emotion into something, and he's actually urging you to squeeze his head with your thighs, pushing them together as his fingers dig into them

》You actually have to pull him away from you when you cum, the only thing he's focused on is tasting you

》He really doesn't think you could get any better, but then he feels your walls around him, and he feels his heart skip multiple times

》He really doesn't know what to focus on, and he actually forgets to move, and you have to jolt him out of the trance you put him in

》Even after that, it's like his brain has stopped working lmfao, literally the only thing running through his mind is how warm and tight your walls are

》He groans when he sees your slick all over him, and he hits that spot inside of you, making you clench around him and that's what sends him over the edge

》And he didn't even realize he was that close 💀 "Marriage sounds like a good idea, doesn't it?"

》Ooh boy, this man, literally jaw drops open, hits the floor, and then he's quickly running over to you, trying to flirt with you to the max

》He's actually pretty surprised that he managed to get you, but he's definitely showing you off, making sure everyone knows that you're his

》He loves your ass, literally the only thing he'll pay attention to

》So, if you're back is towards him, you can totally forget about him following the conversation

》Expect him to smack your ass randomly, like outta nowhere

》He'll be the pettiest boyfriend in the world saying shit like "I'll do it if you suck my dick" stupid shit like that 🙄✋🏽

》So, then you do...you suck the soul of out him and this man literally buys you whatever you want

》He can't help but cant his hips, thrusting into your mouth, but it doesn't last long because he's cumming after a couple of thrusts, a deep groan coming out of his throat

》While you're making out, he teases your folds with his fingers, but he stops kissing you when he realizes how wet you are

》His attention is quickly shifted to your cunt, as he slides down your body, pushing your legs to your chest before eating you out like his last meal

》He loses himself in your taste, your juices coating the lower half of his face and dripping down his chin

》You whine from the overstimulation when you cum, and he pulls away but once you recover, his mouth is right back on you

》And he'll either be there or fucking you into the mattress, holding your legs in the same position

》His eyes are rolling in the back of his head, trying to hold back as he fucks into you, a white ring appearing at the base of his dick

》How much slick you produce always amazes him, no matter what he does, and it's all he pays attention to as he fucks you

》He cums way too early for his liking, surprising himself

》But at the same time, it's not like he could really control it with how good you feel around him

》He fucking you through his high, bringing you to yours, and then he's pulling out of you, resting back on his haunches

》"Looks like I'm gonna have to marry you."

》This man tries to act like he's not floored by your body, but he absolutely is

》His eyes are always running over your body whenever you're not looking his way

》Your thighs and your ass are his favorite parts; picks you up so that he can feel them around his waist, his hands splayed on your ass

》Is always laying on your thighs, literally does anything while he's in between them

》When you give him head the first time, he's pretty patient because come on now, my mans is packing

》But he jumps slightly in surprise when you fully take him down your throat, digging his nails into his palm when he sees himself in your throat

》He's literally sinking into whatever furniture he's sitting/laying on because he's never been with someone that could actually take all of him before

》He doesn't really know how to react because he's never felt pleasure like this before

》Got this man's legs twitching lmfao

》He doesn't even move after he cums, just lays there, and there's no way you can move him so you just leave him there 💀

》Now, one thing you'll have to be ready for is when he eats you out

》The first time he gets his mouth on you? His snacks are being thrown out the window

》You're his snack now, and he literally will push your legs up and out of his way, and there's literally nothing you can do to stop him

》He gives overstimulation a new meaning when you meet him, and he doesn't let you go until he's gotten his fill

》He's eating you out more so for his pleasure than yours. Period.

》This man is still lazy though, and he makes you do all the work, so he'll just lay back and let you do all the work as you sink down on him

》But then he feels your walls pulsing around him, and his hands are twitching as he tries to control himself

》The only thing he can do is rest his hands on your hips as you ride him, and he really can't do anything else even if he wanted to

》He starts fucking up into you once he starts reaching his climax, a deep "fuck" leaving him as he shoots into you, and you're not too far behind

》"It's not that big of a deal, but you wanna get married?" (It is that big of a deal 🙄✋🏽)

》He tries to seem cool, calm, collected when he first meets you

》He's not like Atsushi, who tries to pretend like he's not amazed by your body

》He's just trying to play off how you affect him

》I feel like he doesn't have a favorite body part of yours, wanting to show love to every part

》His hands run over every single inch, literally no part of you goes untouched by him

》Like Midorima, he's not really all about receiving head, but that confident persona is gone once you go down on him

》He's never been the one to become speechless, but you literally render him just that, his brain completely blurred, the only thing he can think about is how amazing your mouth is

》He starts to back away from you a little bit lmao because of how good he feels, the pleasure building up in his spine quickly

》He squirms a ton when he cums, and that's all he can do lol, and he doesn't deny you in the future if you want to go down on him

》He wants to pleasure you too, so he'll easily go down on you, but he chuckles in disbelief when he sees your glistening folds

》And he's amazed by how it seems like your arousal is endless, the juices coating his tongue and his face

》Moves his hands out of the way so that he can feel your legs squeezing his head like Midorima

》He eats you out with so much energy, smiling against you when you fall apart, living for the feeling of your legs twitching against his ears from overstimulation

》The first time you sleep together, his plans to take it slow are quickly forgotten

》Your walls seem to swallow him quickly, practically sucking him in, and he groans in surprise

》He wants to move, but if he does, he knows he'll cum in record time, but even the warmth and pulse of your walls is nearly enough to send him over the edge

》He just tries to aim for your g-spot just in case he cums way before you are able to, but that only sends him higher because your walls are clamping around him

》He knows he's not gonna last long, and he'll make it up to you later, but at that moment, he picks up the speed of his hips, his eyes slipping shut

》He has to brace himself when he cums, his hands on either side of your hands, his lungs feeling like they can't get enough air

》"Doesn't marriage sound like an amazing idea to you?"

Tags: @that-chick212