#I don't have other social medias so I'm really depending on outside sharing to get momentum on this

[panic-flavored]

If you can't donate, PLEASE signal boost and share with everyone you know! We're so scared for our little man and we want to give him the best chance of survival.

I'm also taking art commissions, (DM me!) or you can help out by buying something on my Etsy!

[ohnoitstbskyen]

... y'all know Lae'zel is acting scared, right?

Video transcription: I've seen a lot of comments on my short about Lae'zel dismissing her entire character because she's mean and… I'm just checking in here… you guys know she's scared, right? She's terrified. She was kidnapped by the worst monster she knows, infected with the most horrifying death anyone in her culture can have, and then stranded on a hostile world, alone, with nothing to guide her except the dogmatic military cult indoctrination of a cruel lich demigod, telling her that her only hope of salvation is to follow Gith doctrine with total unyielding faith. And still she tries to save you. When she keeps insisting that you must get to the Githyanki crèche, it's our only hope, she's trying to guide you towards the only salvation she knows from the parasite, so she can share it with you. And Gith... aren't supposed to do that, saving an outsider is not part of the doctrine, she's breaking the rules trying to do right by you. None of that means she's not being an asshole, she's rude, dogmatic and unpleasant. But everything she does comes from a genuine, very misguided and abrasive, desire to do the right thing. It doesn't make her behaviour okay, but there is more to her character than just "being the mean one."

To expand on this a bit more than I can in a 60 second short, people acting from fear and from their damage is a major theme among the Baldur's Gate 3 companions.

Lae'zel is terrified and falling back on the only thing she believes will give her back some control over her situation, which is the dogma of the military cult she's in. Shadowheart is much the same, amnesiac and grasping on to the only solid thing she knows, which is her faith, which preaches deception, loss and duplicity as the only certain factors in life.

Gale is an inveterate people-pleaser desperately dependent on other people to help him feed his magic addiction, with his overtly affable exterior hiding a rolling boulder of guilt, ambition, greed, arrogance and legitimate hurt. Asterion is... well, no way to really lay out his deal without spoiling, but the boy has been through it and his self-destructive, hedonistic and selfish impulses are all coping mechanism and self-defense all the time.

None of that make their shitty behaviours okay, but in a fictional story, those kinds of flaws and toxic behaviours are what make for interesting stories and characters. I don't blame anyone for finding Lae'zel unpleasant and abrasive, but I do get a bit Old Man Yells At Cloud about people who casually brag about shoving her off a cliff-side, or murdering her because "she was a bitch" or whatever.

Like... being unable to face discomfort in your media is not a virtue, and lashing out reactively against fiction that doesn't validate your power fantasy isn't a flex.

Of course, I saw a lot of those reactions in YouTube comments and on social media, so my sample is biased by those algorithms, but still. A lot of people seem aggressively proud that they never engaged with her story because the terrified indoctrinated child-soldier wasn't immediately nice to them and I can't explain it but something about that reaction feels puritan to me.

[glowupwithamy]

Solitude is your path of personal independence -

Being alone makes me really happy its like my special place where i can be myself and feel good i don't feel the need for another person to take responsibility for my happiness and emotional needs and i don't really want somebody in the phase i am in i can think and be creative without any interruptions it's like a peaceful break from everything else

Being alone helps me find peace in simple things like reading or walking outside these moments refresh me and make me feel more creative. Being alone also helps me understand myself better now I can think deeply about my feelings and thoughts which helps me grow as a person indeed.

Solitude is a phase that teaches you how to handle your emotions and bad days without relying on someone else. It actually teaches you how to live without depending on others and without ranting about your problems to them

And i want to message those people who constantly seek emotional support from everyone and keep crying that they need someone i feel they need to work on themselves or they have to accept the situation and think about what they can do themselves..instead of constantly seeking attention. Seeking attention all the time makes you mentally weak remember that. I feel that they should question themselves "Why do i need someone else am i not enough?"

Being alone doesn't mean staying comfortable It's about finding strength and discovering who you are ...it's about facing challenges, overcoming fears, and becoming stronger ..when you're alone you have the power to chase your dreams and conquer obstacles so don't think it's not brave to be alone it actually shows how strong and determined you really are.

Solitude makes you quickly observe things around you apart from the world of social media. If you begin on a journey of self discovery and learn to be with yourself ...you won't feel the need for others as much. This journey is very difficult I'm not saying that it's easy lol no!! especially for those who can't live without relying on others but if you want your future self to thank you then don't hesitate just start today . Because today's generation is busy distracting people but we need to bring self control. If you want to understand yourself better.

It took me three years to get in this habit and now i don't need anyone. I don't like to share my problems with anyone because i don't feel it's necessary. I have made myself mentally strong to the point where i don't feel the need for a second person

Last Note :

And if you guys have any questions or anything to ask related to this don't hesitate you can ask me freely :) thanks for giving your time

I have a self discovery questions sheets so that you can guys know yourself better if you want that Dm me 🎀

[vsaintsin]

Writeblr Re-Intro

Yo! I'm V Saintsin. Or V or Vin or Saintsin or whatever you want to call me that sounds right on your tongue. I'm a self-proclaimed Social Media fumbler who got a late start to the party and has never quite figured it out. I hate how hipster and edgy it sounds to say "I'm bad at social media" but like I used to work with some people who actually managed the social media accounts for the business we worked for and there were rules and whatnot and damn, I think online media is just not my medium. That being said, here I am! Hah

I'm an author and general mess who's hoping to be the miracle man (somebody who makes a living writing silly little stories). I do use a pseudonym but please hear me out when I say I didn't realize how edgy it sounds, it just has some sentimental value to my personal life. I'm so sorry that I sound like I'm in my emo phase HAHA

About me -

He/Him Transguy from the American Midwest (arguably the south, depending on who you talk to, but the older people still say "Sodi-pop" and "ope").

I'm dysautonomic, bendy, permanently sleepy, and a survivor of Crappy Doctors Who Suck At Doctoring.

I like DnD, Pathfinder, Baldur's Gate 3, Cyberpunk, Dragon Age, and other things in that vein.

I do make art of my stories and characters (Tablet is currently not working so I'm in a dry spell).

My writing background is predominantly ancient, dusty RPs from as far back as the foopets days and fanfic writing on Quizilla - I am an old and wizened elder of the net.

My formal education was music performance and behavioral neuroscience, I don't really know how I got where I am.

This is not my first rodeo with tumblr but it is the first time I have anything to SAY instead of just lurking.

In the event of malfunction, you can put me outside for 5 minutes and I'll probably factory reset.

My existence as I know it hinges on a massive number of sticky notes plastered throughout my room.

What I'm lookin' for -

Idk, whatever? I'm down for most things. Did you write it? Cool, let me see. I'm not too bent on genre or anything, just fascinated by the art of storytelling.

A bit tentative with fanfiction but that's just because if it's not a fandom I'm familiar with I am rather clueless about what the hell is going on and if it's a fandom I am familiar with I HUNT DOWN THE DEEP LORE.

I like art a whole lot, including fanart. Also art advice, love seeing things from different perspectives and learning something new.

Mutuals, really, for any reason. Building better connections on here, getting to know people. I am hideously bad at this but I try.

What I write -

Science Fiction with heavy subjects that matter to me - trigger warnings on a story-by-story basis.

High Fantasy (eventually books I think?) characters and their backgrounds for DnD and Pathfinder - I have been tempted to share these to help people get ideas or just for free use?

Things that I delete because I have crippling imposter syndrome and publishing makes me nauseous (doin' it tho).

Stories that I hope will make people feel less alone or that people could relate to, stories that I wish I had when life was worse and I was reaching out for anything I could find to keep me afloat, stories that try to be critical of things that SUCK in a way that's any helpful.

Lots of curse words and cussing (that's just how people talk 'round here), dubious science, things that I hope might make you cry but in a good way though.

Character-Driven stories that revolve more around the development of the person and less around the plot itself if that makes sense.

I've put blurb things below for my primary project/series which features a grumpy, queer, 37-year old chain smoking Frenchman and his misadventures with life and love and unbridled rage. If any of that sounds cool stick around and hang out? (This part is a plug bc I did a thing and I'm proud of it) And if my books sounds interesting the first one is 99 cents on Kindle and you just need a phone and a free app to read it!

THE SECRET OF LIFE (Published) - Sci-Fi/Psychological Thriller, Bi M Lead, Lovers to Enemies, AI but the oldschool cool kind not the real world thing that's stealing our future

Carlisle-Trystan Antoinette is a mercenary on a hard road, navigating life and death itself in an infinite cycle started by powers above his understanding. He has one mission - warn The Dianican Space Station of the coming threat and put a stop to a war that would encapsulate the whole of the Sol System before it can ever begin. Unfortunately for Carlisle, reality is a tenuous thing, made up only by our understanding of it. At least, according to his Psychiatrist, who tells him that there is no war, that he was never a mercenary, and that what Carlisle is experiencing is a severe but manageable psychotic break. Stripped of his combat enhancements, his bio monitor, and everything he's every known, Carlisle has a decision to make. Does he give in to the thoughts and memories, so real that he can almost taste them, or does he live a life of comfort and ease, returning to a husband and daughter that he left behind?

TWs: Domestic and War Violence, suicide, rape, medical trauma, grief, drug use

THE SILENCE OF ANGELS (Due 2024, TSoL 2) - Betrayal and Rage, Learning how to love again slow-burn romantic subplot, Learning how to Dad, A general inability for any one thing to just go right

(Quick Rough Blurb that offers no spoilers for TSoL) Making connections isn't easy for somebody who's accustomed to burning bridges. Isolation has always been Carlisle's mantra for surviving his life. Playing a role comes second nature, pretending to be the man that everyone else wants to see in him. When an old friend is murdered Carlisle finds himself as the primary suspect with all evidence pointing to him so clearly that even he calls to question what he is capable of. Unwilling to believe that he could commit such a heinous crime, Carlisle sets off to find the truth of his friend's death - was Carlisle framed or does he truly have the capacity to bring such harm upon those he loves? Old and new bonds will be tested, faith broken, and the future of everyone called into question as lines are drawn and sides are picked.

TWs: Violence, mentions of SA, graphic character death, more grief, more death

I don't know what else to say... Later!

[necro-hamster]

RULES ;

WHAT I WILL DO:

- Humans/Humanoids - Animals (Including fantasy creatures) - Furry/Anthro/Alien - Original Characters - Fanart - OC/Canon - Shipping - Character design/Character sheets* - NSFW** - Gore**

*These will cost more than the standard commissions. Provide me with info, and I’ll give you a quote!

**I have limits! If something goes beyond what I’m comfortable with, I have every right to turn down the commission. I will never make any type of post smearing you for what you requested even if I turn you down. I likely will not post NSFW images, and may request you leave me anonymous in reposts.

WHAT I WON’T DO;

- Mechas - Animation - Anything I deem to be racist, homophobic, transphobic, etc. in nature - Inc//est/Ped//oph//elia - Anything that's meant to mock or belittle somebody else - Real people* *This is okay if you have their explicit written consent. This rule also doesn’t apply to actors playing characters, obviously!

TERMS OF SERVICE;

- My work is not to be used as an NFT or to be fed through any AI generation programs. - My work is not to be used commercially. If you want to use my work for sale, we can work that out, but if you don’t explicitly commission me with this purpose, you can’t use my work on merchandise, advertisements, etc. - Do not claim the work as your own. If you post it anywhere else, including in edits of any kind, link back to my social media. - If your commission is above $49, I require half payment up front, and half once the job is completed. - I do not accept refunds. If you aren't satisfied about some part of the work, you let me know while I'm sending you WIPs, not a week later.

COMMON QUESTIONS;

Q: What type of payment do you accept?

A: I (almost) exclusively take payment through PayPal. I'm in the US, so I will be receiving my payment in USD. If you're from outside the US, please factor in conversion rates. It's not my job to help you with this. I'm also okay with payment through my Kofi, but will request a few extra dollars to cover the fees.

Q: What's your turnaround rate?

A: More often than not, I'll get a commission done within a week. Obviously, depending on how many commissions I have on my plate, this can vary, but I will always keep you updated and say beforehand if I'm a bit backed up.

Q: Can I use my commission for my YouTube, Twitter, Instagram, etc.?

A: Absolutely! So long as you aren't actively profiting directly from the commission by selling it (I.E., as stickers or on shirts), you can use it however you want! If you do want to use a commission for merchandise, we can work something out for that specifically.

Q: Can I make edits to my commission after I receive it?

A: Sure! I don't really care, it's yours after all. I just ask that you specify that any edits you make are by you when reposting or sharing the edited picture. (Ex: "This picture was a commission done by necro-hamster! He did the lineart, and I colored it in later.")

Q: Do you do deadlines?

A: Absolutely! If you want something done by a certain date, we can totally work something out. Depending on the deadline you're asking for, this may come with an extra fee. For instance, if you want something done in two days, and I have several other comms on my plate, I can bump you to the front of the list for a hefty fee. But, if you just ask me to finish something easy up by the end of the month, and I don't have much else piled up, I probably won't charge you.

Feel free to DM me if you have any questions! If you're interested in a commission, either message me here, or email me at necro.hamster.art@gmail.com!

[n2-deep]

What's Wrong With Me?

What is wrong with me?

Sometimes, I feel like I have no friends.

Or, let me clarify, no real friends. It's not that I don't have pleasant conversations with other people or get invited occasionally to hang out in groups with them. Instead, people only ask to hang out with me because they feel awkward that I'm there when they ask others but don't care about me or my interests.

So it more or less feels like I have a ton of acquaintances—like I have many people who can get on just fine without me in their lives. 

It's hard, too, when you see other people on social media hanging out and sharing happy moments in their friendships or hear stories about what other people did (and quite obviously, you weren't invited to participate). It can feel very isolating and lonely when surrounded by everyone having these fantastic fun times and everyone else being friends.

These and other negative thoughts tend to creep in and magnify whenever I feel down and stressed. But I can manage when I'm in a good mood and have my stress under control.  

This is all not a coincidence: feelings of loneliness often go hand-in-hand with depression (which I have), and it can often be fueled by anxiety (which I also have). I am looking back at my life. I see now that these feelings have always been with me. Never feeling accepted or even wanted. Constantly feeling that you are on the outside looking in is hard. I have read some information on ADD and TBI related to it, but? 

At the end of the day, it has to be me. Something I'm doing.

This is truly a question. I do not want people to feel sorry for me. I want to understand. It is hard to admit my feelings and vulnerability of feeling this way. I have always thought I fit in differently than the charity case. 

I try from time to time to reach out and reconnect and ask "friends" to do something. What I get in return is "we should," but when I try, they have something else going on, or I never hear back. 

Is this all in my head? 

Example: When I was 17. That summer, I was in a pretty bad accident. The truck I was driving rolled five times. My face shattered the window. I was ejected out and was pinned under the truck. I was flown to the hospital. After I was released and got home, I never heard from anyone. No one called to check on me. Nothing like I was forgotten, and we never really reconnected.  

Example 2: I thought I had finally found friends. I was part of something. I had a big group of friends. Within the large group, there was a smaller, closer group. These people were the ones to show me that my marriage was terrible for me. My X had just settled for me, and we had nothing in common. "I just never felt good enough for her or her family. " And she hated my friends. I had a job that I loved, and I got to work with my friends. Then, my closest friend became my boss. Everything I did needed to be better. " It is a whole nother story. " So I quit or was fired depends on who you ask. I walked away from that job "and friends" I felt like an outcast. Not a single one of those people ever came and asked me. Didnt come to see if I was okay. Then, not long after, the girl I was seeing dumped me and replaced me overnight. 

I am leaving out a lot because It hurts to think back and the feelings it reminds me of. I'm not hiding it. I don't know if it is relevant to my overall question. What is wrong with me?

I hope to post this where people I know do not see it. Or where if you do, please don't tell me that you did. I would love to know what I am doing wrong if you have feedback.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

hi! not so much a mental health ask but more advice? I recently watched Where The Crawdads Sing on Netflix : I personally thought the movie was really beautiful and as someone who experienced abuse similar ( not to the extent of her but it definitely resonated even if in a small way) to Kya I just was really focused on the film.

I started to reblog the movie because I also liked the main couple and I was surprised the movie wasn't talked about more. Out of curiosity I did some digging and found a huge amount of controversy and I'm kind of upset with myself for liking it. I don't have social media outside tumblr and even then I make an effort not to be online too much. When I watched it I just put it on because it was in my recommendation on Netflix. I genuinely had no clue how controversial it was.

Watching this movie in a weird way pulled me out of my depression and played a huge part in my recovery just with the stunning visuals, the music, and the friendship between tate and kya and now I'm just ashamed I didn't see that this movie was bad.

Hi Anon,

Thank you for reaching out and sharing how the movie impacted you in healing ways, in fact I’m glad that it was something that helped along your journey. 

Media consumption, fandom spaces, and even how one movie resonates with someone is such a personal experience - at any given time we are the sum of our experiences, and carry a wide range of biases, potential trauma, and even cultural and social expectations that (for better or for worse) we can sometimes project onto our viewing choices - and frankly there is no one movie that’s going to register with a group of people in the same way and that simply speaks to our individuality among the audience.  That’s actually a good thing.

Which is why I’d like to assure you that I don’t think the “shame” is for you to carry for not seeing the movie through the same lens others did.  And honestly it depends on what you’re referring to when you say “bad” - are we talking about stumbling across posts where perhaps concerns about racist undertones, regional biases, and/or problematic character behavior were raised that some did not feel were addressed in the movie?  Or are we talking about discourse where people are sharing their opinions about characters?  Sometimes how we feel internally when we read these educational posts, or even character analysis posts, can be powerful insight into where we want to work on ourselves, or how we ourselves relate to the characters.  It can feel personal to enjoy a character, only to find someone else doesn’t like them - we can sometimes get stuck on a narrative that it means they wouldn’t like us as people either.  Not suggesting that’s exactly how you feel here, I just mean to say that it’s understandable if seeing these posts brought up something more personal, but I’d also like to encourage you to push past the “shame” portion and dig a little deeper into the why.

However, regardless of what you choose to do next, I think media consumption/discussion/and even discourse can be done in ways that honor all participants with the inherent dignity we are all born with.  And one of the ways to do so is by curating your online experiences to tailor it to your personal needs.  We all have different boundaries, but there’s lots of resources out there to ensure that you can filter out certain posts and hopefully bask in ones that spark joy. And lastly, I hope you rest in the feelings the movie first stirred within you, ones that helped you feel seen, and heard - and know that there is nothing ever wrong with that.

- Mod Kat

[nope-never-again]

im going through a recent discovery of possibly having bpd and im a bit curious about the episodes and more how are symptoms outside of the episodes? is it possible to have minimal symptoms or be able to be in control except when triggered? i think i've unknowingly had it for a while so i've worked a lot on my anger and emotional awareness but relationship things trigger me a lot and then i behave irrationally. do you have any resources you could myb recommend?

I'll start this out by saying I have autism and BPD so the way I process things may not be the same as other people with BPD. Also I've spent 6+ months (total) in in-patient care facilities and years in therapy so the way I address these things is based almost solely on that. I am not a doctor in any way shape or form but I'm happy to share my experiences/knowledge about these things. **this will be long btw, don't say I didn't warn you**

BPD episodes:

I would break these down into three parts, #1 the trigger: many things can trigger BPD episodes but the most common I've seen is already being in a shit mood and something more shitty happens, rejection (real or perceived), arguments, having to leave someone important to you (literally does even matter how long it's for, 10 minutes or 10 years) and even internal triggers, that are usually created/exacerbated by overthinking. #2 the out of control: this is the actual episode itself during these a lot of things can happen depending how how you personally deal with things. The most common I've seen are extreme emotional outbursts (whether they are pointed inward or towards another person is kind of on a person to person basis, for most people), attention seeking behaviors, paranoia, and self-destructive/self-isolating behaviors. Self destructive behaviors can also stem from comorbidities like depression, eating disorders, substance abuse issues and sex addiction. I would call #3 the aftermath: this can look very different for everyone but most people experience the same few feelings, guilt, remorse, regret, self-loathing, anxiety. Usually these feelings are caused by the actions during #2 whether the actions were done to yourself or others doesn't matter, the feelings are usually the same.

Outside of BPD episodes/can it be managed:

Everyone with BPD is very different and mirroring plays a big part in that. Everyone with BPD struggles with sense of identity (even myself) and some find it easier (whether consciously or subconsciously) to mirror other people to find that sense of identity and belonging, especially if they convince themselves that a person will like them more if they have more in common. This is important because this can help with coping in life and functioning better as a human in society, surround yourself with functioning people and you end up mirroring functioning people, without knowing it and then bam you do pretty well for an extended period of time. This is one of a small handful of situations I think someone with BPD could go through life experiencing minimal negative symptoms. Symptoms that cannot be managed simply by mirroring though are, inevitable extreme mood swings (they will happen no matter what), shifting self image, deep fear of abandonment, insecurity, and paranoia. Other than through mirroring, medication and therapy (and even then its not fool proof) I don't believe BPD can be ENTIRELY managed outside of episodes. It is extremely hard to hold yourself accountable with this disorder and people almost always require outside help to manage symptoms.

Other:

Please let me know if I can answer any other questions, I know this is a lot but I felt like I needed to explain things in order to really get into what you asked. Also feel free to DM me if you don't want this public even on anon.

Resources:

Honestly therapy and social media are my favorite resources BUT here are a few others if you want to learn more.

https://emotionsmatterbpd.org/

https://www.borderlinepersonalitydisorder.org/

[lettersfromleslie]

THE MUSK OF THE BUSK / L'ART ET L'ARTISTE / THE BOSS IN THE TROLLEYLOT

Heyo! How's life?

The seasons continue their dizzy pinwhirl. Summer is slowly swellin & the spring was an outrageous bloom here in the Pacific Northwest, especially in Magnolia, our incongruously bougie neighborhood in Seattle. Here the good Magnolians cultivate cascading symphonies of daffodils, bluebells, cherryblossoms, rhodondendrons, magnolias naturally, fragrant bushes of rosemary & lavender, great tufts of wild fennel, and many other sprinkles of delite amongst their finely sculpted blobs of topiary. Many days the only people you see on foot are the landscapers tending this grand spectacle - blessed fortunate fancy neighborhood.

Little do these good people know that amongst them, in their very zip code - in that scary ole house, one of the last rentals remaining in this corner of the neighborhood - lives a busker. What horrors they might shiver if they knew. Tis true, and for over a decade now I've been grubbing at this life, bottomfeeding the rivers of commerce, muskily busking wherever that rare beast the American on Foot can be found. When I say hidy to my neighbors it may well be that only hours before I was yodeling in train stations for pennies n bux like any bum. Imagine!

I've had many questions about it over the years, and for years now I've been meaning to write something about The Lifestyle, but I never got around to it somehow. As it happens I'll be playing at two busker-themed events this summer - June 15th at Buskarama in Seattle and July 14th at the annual New York City Buskerball - so if there was ever a time, eh?

Let's start with the Q&A.

Can you really make a living at it? Aye. Do you?? I have at many points. Currently it's a mix of busking, album sales, venue shows, streaming, Patreon, etc. Sure you don't have a trust fund? O ye of little faith. Do you need a permit? Depends, usually helps, but anyway, it tends to be easier to ask for forgiveness than permission. What's it like to Be a Busker? I don't think I've ever met anyone who thinks of themselves as purely a Busker. Aside from out & out bums, most people you'll see playing in public have other avenues of performing & creating outside of busking. Isn't it scary? Not once you realize how completely you'll be ignored if you aren't connecting. Hey, you're not bad, why aren't you playing clubs instead of on the street?

This is the one I wanna dig into. First, & hopefully this goes without saying, both are on the menu. But what you get out of this, you don't get in any club. Busking is public art in its most ancient, elemental form, a type of performance that has existed since before recorded music, pop culture, mass media, or social media. It's the most direct route your art can take: you go to the public square and trade feelins for cash. It's taking part in a tradition that's barely changed over thousands of years. Show me any living culture and I'll show you the buskers. Pity the ignorant bastard who thinks there's anything wrong with it. There are plenty of terrible buskers, tis true, because of the simple fact that there's no barrier for entry. The good and the terrible share the same stage, and the crowd has to actually decide for themselves what is worth supporting. For someone to be performing in public says nothing about them or their work other than that they've decided to give it a go.

What's more - and this is really the relevant point for our moment in time: up to a certain level it pays better than the clubs. It allows you skip the day job. I'm convinced that busking is the last, best way for non-famous musicians to make a living with live performances in this most strange & dissociative of centuries. And I mean without fishing for grants, without money from daddy, without royalties from a TV thing you did years ago, without a sugar partner, without a day job, without an OnlyFans. Some romantic souls might still carry the image of the Passionate Misunderstood Artiste scraping rent for their garret apartment with weekend gigs in lowlit clubs & cocktails on the piano lid… or the band of roving roadsouls keeping the lights on by dragging their hearts & their van thru cactus deserts playing beerjoints and college campuses (granted, this can still work if they're living in the van & have friends' floors to crash on)… But realistically, these artists need to have day jobs now, or at least their housing covered. Occasional gigs don't pay the bills in big cities and tours don't make enough money to sustain both the tours and the home expenses for those on the road unless a certain threshold of fame has been broken… The squeeze is on, we all kno it… But as I say, there's a way: Go Busk. If you're able to achieve communion, the universe will provide you with your living expenses. Go out five or six days a week, play two or three hours a day, get what gigs you can… Take it from this ole wreck, it can be done.

This secret is known only to a select few. It's really a humdinger. What's more, if you manage to get into a good flow - well, you may not be the moneyrealm of a dentist, or a law clerk, but you can beat your local barista for pay & perks, and on certain big days you may do as well as a reasonably good-looking stripper. You'll have absolutely no security, tis true, but on the other hand your potential for serendipity is thru the roof. Gig offers. Strange gifts & talismans, drawings, poems. Old people telling you about their bad young days on the road. Rich kid mega-tips. It's a gambler's rush. You hit a bad streak and you question everything, your appearance, your chops, kids these days, the economy, the zeitgeist. You hit a good streak and it's cloud nine, seamlessness, pure flow. Amazing things can happen. Scarlet Rivera played violin on my last album, for God's sake. The proof is in the lacquer. All of it thru busking. Inserting yourself into a place where people congregate and seeing what happens when you do so loudly & with feelins.

The catch is that it does tend to take an openhearted soul to receive what happens to them by accident with the same sprit as what they seek out deliberately. When someone chooses to go to a concert, especially a big one, it's the high point of a longer relationship with that performer's work: discovering it, likely happening across it a few times, slowly starting to choose to listen to it, learning the lyrics, forming a bond… 20 years after you heard him in college Bruce Springsteen announces a tour date in your town, you spring for tickets, whew, got em, figure out time - take off work, call a babysitter fer god's sake - find parking - stand in line - by the time the curtain goes up, there is a profound anticipation hanging: Was it Worth It? Are We Gonna Get It? Will the Art Give Me Feelins?

This communal longing and openness is the perfect blank canvas for any performer worth their salt. An audience that's focused, invested, with nowhere to go, with a set intention to stay for the duration of the performance.

Now take that all away. It's a busy street. The people are distracted, engaged, going in different directions, with no intention of stopping. There's Bruce Springsteen, but you've never heard of him, no one has. He's banging on his guitar outside the supermarket singing Born in the USA. Sounds good, but your little ones need their potatoes and mustard greens, your phone is ringing, your hair is exploding, no one's stopping, nothing is planned, and this whole vibe is making the guy seem kinda needy, a lil imposing in fact. But no, he does sound pretty good, so he gets a dollar as you pass thru the sliding doors and start to scan for the turnip aisle.

There's yer two extremes. I don't play outside of supermarkets, on the whole I try and catch people where they're at least likely to be relaxed and receptive. Parks, latenight train stations in nightlife areas, outdoor markets, tourist attractions (altho tourists often tend to be so overwhelmed with things that they're as hard to get thru to as any worker on the clock). But even so, it's a fishing expedition. Most people who pass will be elsewhere in their minds, and you'll miss hundreds who might have connected in different circumstances. It's normal. I don't often change course myself. I've passed by many things that looked enormously engaging. You gotta.

Which makes me feel all the more grateful for every person who stopped for even a moment, dropped a dollar or two. To them (you, most likely) I say bless you, you rare beast, you had your antennae out, you let the world speak to you. Those that changed plans, missed trains, brought out picnic blankets, reached out and wrote - you are a miracle, you were really listening.

This is one of the things that makes busking interesting. It's all so very ephemeral. You can play the best set of your life and be completely ignored. You can also be a hungover mess making a bleary fool of yourself because rent's due, and for whatever strange flukey reason the dollars may rain. Signals between strangers tend to be very garbled. But when it clicks - when what is sent out is received perfectly - when communion is achieved - when someone gets it - that's really something. And I think that might be about as rare in Tompkins Square Park as it is in Madison Square Garden, when you look beyond the notion of spectacle to the notion of meaning being transferred.

Which, granted, is only touching on parts of what gives art its power. Performances depend on their context as much or more as they do on the message itself. What a Wonderful World played over Vietnam war footage. I Did It My Way sung by Sid Vicious. It's all a weird miasma, a complicated and extremely social blend of communion and communication… the creator's skill is what we tend to focus on, aye, but more than that it's the place & time, the cultural context, the memories & associations the performer draws on, the flavor & intent it's drawn with, their social standing & authority (or lack thereof), the moment they were there for and spoke for, and also who was there to hear it spoken, and who said it was Great. All subjective. All extremely emotional. All tied in with stories. Who is Van Gogh or Nick Drake without early death & lack of recognition in life? And who is Taylor Swift without fame, without her cult? We have to concede that the song by itself is only a vessel, as is the singer. Vessels for us to pour our feelins in. Beauty isn't objective, thank God, & art communion is a societal ritual- would we have it elsewise?

(Which is why the idea that AI could replace artists is about as meaningless as the idea that AI could replace love.)

When you busk, you can't count as much on context. You know that every day what you give is what you get. The people who stop and listen didn't do it beacuse of the production value of your album or because they heard you on the radio in high school or because someone they're in love with was wearing your band tshirt. They're just there, and so were you, yodelin. Every day you gotta manage that! And then maybe as time goes on you can make yourself part of a context. Your songs become people's memories. You presence starts to thread itself into the great spiderweb. Parts of you go walking off on their own.

To live in this way means existing in a state of communion with the place you live in. Every day you send out energy and the stuff of sustenance flows back. Life sustains itself on thin air. And that's a beautiful thing. Here I am in this creaky wooden house by the sea, cat, gal, piano, guitars, living at the end of the land… Lucky me!

And I was mostly kidding about the Magnolians earlier. This is about the most busker-friendly town I've ever been in, and I'm sure my neighbors would be glad to have me even if they knew of my buskin ways, especially if they could see certain snapshots, if they could peep thru the curtains … even moreso if they heard the nice things Important People have said about me over the years, all the lil milestones along this janky & ephemeral trip … But at the train station, would they listen? Would they stop? Rare souls, those who do! Bless you!!!

[survey--s]

633.

Do you still read the newspaper or have an online newspaper subscription? No. I get most of my news from social media.

What’s your favourite kind of meat? (vegan/vegetarian options count!) Steak.

Have you ever been mistaken for staff at a store you were just visiting? No. I don't really see how that can happen, tbh. I mean, in the UK at least, staff wear uniforms and name badges and it's pretty obvious who they are.

What’s the coolest or most memorable animal you’ve ever seen at a zoo? White lions and tigers are pretty mesmerising. There's a zoo where I grew up that had a pride of white lions - they were gorgeous even though they're a weird genetic anomaly.

Do you share a bedroom with anybody? My husband.

What colour are the public buses where you live? Ha, we only just got a bus service last week, actually. They're white, blue and green.

How often do you pay your utilities bills? Monthly by direct debit.

What video game have you played the most hours of? If you don’t know, just make a rough guess. I have no idea. Overall, probably Gems of War or Sims, but I haven't played the latter in well over a decade. I tried playing it on the Xbox recently and it just gave me a headache, lol.

Do you own a two-piece bikini? Aren't all bikinis two-piece? Anyway, no. I don't own a bikini.

Is there anybody else in the room you’re in right now? Simba (now known as Beans) and Archie. They're both asleep on the sofa next to me.

What have you got within reaching distance of you right now? A kitten, the dog, two blankets, remote control, my phone and a Dr Pepper can.

What have you been craving lately, food-wise? Anything non-food? Baguettes. I have absolutely no idea why.

Is your short-term or long-term memory worse? My long-term memory is better, I think, but I don't really struggle with my memory at all, generally speaking.

Do you do anything in particular to help you fall asleep? I like a dark, cold room to sleep in, ideally with a fan running.

What was the weather like today? It's not particularly cold but it is grey and miserable and windy.

Who will you see within the next week? I have no plans to see anyone outside of work, really. I'm stupidly busy until at least the middle of next week.

Do you have any guilty pleasure music? Anything you’re willing to admit in this survey answer? I just like what I like - I don't really care what other people think of it.

What was the last movie you watched that was over two hours long? I'm watching Harry Potter at the moment, I guess most of the later ones are over two hours long?

Speaking of which, what’s the longest you think a movie should be? I personally think most movies are too long. It depends on the movie. About 90 minutes is probably my ideal in the cinema, but if I'm at home I don't really care as I generally do other stuff at the same time anyway.

Do you know anyone who is a medical nurse or doctor? My dad was a doctor and my mum was a nurse, lol. There are also several other doctors/nurses in my family.

Have you ever worked night shifts? If so, did you like it? No. I did 5am starts at one point, but no proper overnights.

Are you good at fixing computer problems? I can do the basics.

Do you tend to make decisions by following your heart or your head? It depends on the decision, to be honest.

What’s the population of your current city/town? About seven thousand.

Do your parents live in their hometown(s)? Nope. They don't even live in their home countries.

What are you wearing today? Black leggings, a pink t-shirt and a pale grey jumper.

Are you one to accessorise a lot? No.

What language other than English do you know the most words of? French.

When was the last time you ate? Did you eat something nice? I had some popcorn a couple of hours ago. It was okay, sure.

[colessafespace]

02032023

Ever since I went back to the province because of the pandemic, I haven't left. During the first year, I lived with my father in Victoria where we shared a small room behind our panciteria. It was not the most practical place to be in because there was no privacy, but at least it was familiar. I used to stay in that room with my lola during junior and senior high school, so it was basically "my room". Cut to 2020, and it was my father's room before I came back home. He started using it after my mom died and the old room they had in the panciteria was abandoned and converted into a storage area.

To be honest, I was actually comfortable with the setup during the height of the pandemic because I did not really have a choice and I was also preoccupied with anxiety and extreme loneliness because of my mom's death. Everything in the house reminded me of her and without her presence, it did not feel like I was home. Beside our space is my aunt's restaurant where her eldest lived with his family, and behind the restaurant is my aunt's house which she shared with her husband and their daughter.

The whole two months of nationwide quarantine is now a blur to me, but I still remember feeling some sort of "community" with the people that I spent those months with. We would have dinners outside our house and sometimes even lunch while talking about the most mundane things and the pandemic. I will not get into detail about the thoughts that plagued me during these times but what I do want to point out is how inefficient the government was with the pandemic response, and this combined with social media revealed different sides of myself and the people around me. It is safe to say that our political views did not agree. I consider myself someone who is critical of the government and its policies because I believe that for a democratic country to work, the government needs to hear and address the critiques of its people. I cannot say the same thing for those people I lived with. Anyway, I was able to push aside those thoughts and questions about their views because as the people-pleaser person that I am, I chose to smile and "makisama" with these people for my own peace.

Fast forward to 2023 and now I live alone in Gloria, the town where I was born and where we lived before moving to Victoria. We renovated our house and now I live here because my brother is a seafarer, and my father manages our panciteria. For the first time in a while, I was able to feel like I am home and that I do not need to constantly be on guard and adjust myself depending on other people's moods. I felt free and relaxed because I have my own space and I have people around me whom I am genuinely comfortable with. I've been here for more than a year now and I realized that the biggest difference between the people from Victoria and here is the fact that I actually like some of my relatives here in Gloria. If we will all become strangers, I would actually be friends with some of my relatives here because I like them - their values and how they interact with people. I can say that it really is not my thing to spend too much time with relatives because it makes me realize how much I do not like them. I understand that blood is thicker than water and, in the end, we can lean on each other but that is precisely the main reason why I choose not to be around relatives that I do not like. The more disappointed I get then the further I want to be. But the thing is, despite liking some of my relatives here in Gloria, I still want to leave this place. The reason for that is that being here makes me feel stuck and I know that I am capable of doing great things. And sometimes these great things can be unusual or different for them which makes them react in a way that makes me uncomfortable - they look at you like you are so different. I don't want to feel different. I want to be in a place where I can freely be whatever I want to be without questioning whether I'm too much for other people. I want to be in a community that empowers each other despite how extra or how simple they present themselves. There are so many things that I want to do in this life, and I am grateful that I am realizing this dream once again. I need to make it happen, so I need to work hard, be successful, but first I need to get out of here.

[idrellegames]

I'm not quite sure where this falls in your ask guidelines, so please ignore if you prefer!

I admire you as a creator and you always give very well-thought answers, so I was curious about your feelings engaging with the public? I'm writing my own interactive fiction but I'm conflicted about sharing it; on one hand, I love how transparent the process is and as a fan getting to participate has been really cool and it's led to some amazing communities, but on the other interacting as a creator just seems kind of daunting? Draining?? It just seems like a LOT I guess.

No worries at all, I’m happy to help!

Public engagement (and social media management in general) is an important part of being an independent creator. When your work is centred online, folks are only going to be interested if you build some kind of presence. How much time you invest in it will greatly depend on how much time you want to devote to it (because it does take a lot of time) and also how comfortable you are. Different creators will have different levels of comfort for interactions with fans.

For me, the social media management is one of the most fun parts of my job. I wouldn’t do it this way if I wasn’t having fun. I love hearing from players, I love seeing reactions to the game, especially as folks find new paths they didn’t think were there. But there are downsides, too: for every positive ask I get, there’s a negative one lurking around the corner. There are negative reviews and ratings on my itch.io page. I have folks dump criticism in my bug report form (that’s not what it’s for). I get repeat asks about things that I have already responded to public and documented clearly on my blog or the game page itself.

I have a few base rules for handling social media and interactions with the playerbase:

1. Set boundaries and stick to them. You might be tempted to respond to everything, but for the sake of your own mental health, set boundaries. Figure out what kind of questions you don’t want to answer and write it down. I have mine listed here (no NSFW asks, no RO react asks).

Don’t feel like you need to sort out everything right away; you can always update your ground rules. If you receive a message that crosses your boundaries, delete it.

2. Set aside time to do social media management and don’t answer anything outside that time.   This one’s really important, otherwise you will get overwhelmed. Social media management is work. For me, some asks are really easy to answer; others take upwards of 30 minutes or an hour (advice, tutorials, etc). If you feel like you need to respond to something as soon as you receive it, you’re never going to have time for yourself.

3. Be selective about what social media apps you use. I primarily use tumblr and Discord because that’s where I’m comfortable. While I do have Twitter and Instagram, I post very infrequently there because I don’t particularly like them and I don’t have to time to figure out how to use them accordingly for my project. While I’m sure I could grow a Wayfarer community on either platform, I don’t have time to manage tumblr, Instagram, Twitter, and Discord*.

*If you're making a ChoiceScript game, I would consider your Choice of Games forum thread social media management.

4. Prepare for common questions. More than one person is going to have the same question. When this happens, prepare a post you can link the asker to so you don't need to type out the same answer every time.

This is why I have the Troubleshooting Game Launch & Save Errors post on my itch.io community forum.

Making a clear FAQ also helps with this; if in doubt, just link them the FAQ.  

5. Get help managing your accounts. You won’t need this right away, but if you find you’re getting overwhelmed, ask for help. My development blog is a sideblog, which made it easy to add a friend to help me manage my inbox and queue. I also have a moderator team on Discord who handle the more intimidating interactions with members. I rarely do moderation myself because as a creator, it’s best I stay a few steps removed from the action; my view of what’s going on is always going to be biased in my favour.

6. Don’t answer when you’re angry or annoyed. You’re going to receive a lot of weird shit in your messages, especially if you accept anonymous asks on tumblr.

(You can always turn off anon. I like to keep anon on because my blog is the main way to contact me and I’d like to stay open for players who don’t have tumblr accounts or who are too shy to send a public ask.)

Most of the time, I delete messages that are genuinely upsetting. People who send hate asks are trolls looking to get a reaction out of you; I like to deny them the satisfaction of knowing they "got" to me.

But if I do need to respond, I usually give myself a few days to settle down before I reply. Sometimes I’m misinterpreting what the sender is saying, or I took it more negatively than it was intended. There’s always a genuine human being on the other end of an ask, and I don’t know what their life is like or what they’re going through. I try my best to treat them with grace (though sometimes this can be difficult and I'm snappier than I intend to be, especially if they're asking a question I've already answered, breaks my guidelines, or whose answer is easily available on my blog or game page).

7. It’s OK to delete and block, no matter the reason. If someone is harassing you, if they’re being particularly annoying with repeat asks, or if you’re getting messages that leave a bad taste in your mouth, delete it and block the sender. On tumblr, blocking an anonymous ask will block the sender’s IP address so they can’t send public or anon messages anymore*.

*Sometimes it glitches on desktop and I have to use mobile instead.

8. It’s OK not to answer everything. I struggled with this one the most when I first started my blog. I felt like to create a community, I had to answer everything, even the asks I wasn’t comfortable answering. But it’s not your responsibility to answer everyone all the time. An ask (or any social media message) is just a question, and it’s within your rights to decline to answer.

If you’re just starting out, most of the above is not going to apply right away. But a good rule of thumb to go by is to never do more than you’re comfortable.

If your game is new or you're just starting out, I have a few other pieces of advice that may be helpful:

1. It takes time to build a community. It takes a long time. I’ve had my blog since 2019 and it’s only in the past year that it’s started to really grow. Don’t rush it. Focus on your game first, then the playerbase.

2. Focus on your game above all else. You can’t build a community if you don’t have playable content. If you want folks to engage with you, you need to have an existing game. I made my dev blog before I had a working demo, but my dev blog floundered for about two years before I had enough publicly playable material for folks to start to take an interest. If I was doing this over again, I would make a sizable public demo* before starting a blog or any related social media.

*By sizable, I mean more than a prologue and a character creator. You want players to spend enough time playing your game so they have a good sense of your world and who their MC is. Ideally, you want your first public demo to fully set up your MC, the world, an initial companion character and/or characters, and also feel like a complete experience. Don’t have your demo just end because you’re rushing to get something out. You have one shot at making an impression; don’t leave players hanging on an awkward note. Your first demo should end with the completion of your game’s first major story beat. Give players something more significant to do than choosing what their MC looks like.  

3. Character asks/prompts (RO react asks and related) are often a waste of time. While these types of asks can help generate interest in your game (especially in the interactive fiction tumblr sphere), they are usually a waste of time and reveal too much information, too soon. While it’s good to give players a taste of what’s to come and things to be excited about, in-depth character asks can spoil the experience of a character before that character is introduced in the game itself.  

More importantly, if you find you’re spending more time doing social media management and answering character asks than working on your game, then you need to switch gears. More game content = more community building. Asks are secondary to that.

Don’t fall into the trap of wanting or needing engagement to be able to create.  

4. Don’t do more than you’re comfortable. You don’t need social media to make a successful IF game. If you feel like it’s too much at any point, it’s OK to take a step back.

I’m not sure if this is what you were looking for, but I hope it helps! Good luck on your project. 💕

[nightswithkookmin]

A quick lesson on ships

Because why not??😌

No but seriously, bare with me, I'm trying to answer your questions. Sit if you have to. Hehe

Uban Dictionary defines shipping as this:

A term used to describe fan fictions that take previously created characters and put them as a pair. It usually refers to romantic relationships, but it can refer platonic [sic] ones as well. (Just think of “shipping” as short for “relationSHIP”.) 9 Apr 2015

Ships can be platonic or romantic or both.

There's fictional ships and non fictional ships too. You ship two people you want to be in a relationship or who already are in a relationship or who you suspect to be in a relationship- perhaps due to queer baiting, ship baiting, romance baiting etc.

In the shipping fandom, there are two sects of people. Those who are Proships those who are Antiships- antis are ironically considered part of the shipping community because for some reason they are always in shippers business💀

Antishippers are those who oppose a particular ship or shipping in general (more on that later.)

Proshippers are well- Pro ships.

Pro-Ship

A term mostly used in fandoms, but can stretch outside of this to include original characters. The core belief is that shipping two fictional characters, no matter if they are family, share ages gaps, considered to be unhealthy, or show blatant signs of being abusive or other generally unsavory behaviours, are valid in a fictional setting.

Pro-Shippers or "anti-antis" are also known as "rainbow meaties" and will use 🌈 + 🍖 emojis together often in their bio on twitter or other social media platforms- usually within fictional settings.

These shippers reinforce the idea fiction is separate from reality and shouldn't be confused with the other.

‘Anti’ is short for ‘anti-shipper’ or ‘anti-[ship]’.

Kindly read through this thread to get the gist of it.

III

IV

Shipping non-fictional individuals is a subset of Proshipping, in my opinion, known also as alternative shipping- as far as my knowledge on it goes.

As with fictional shipping, alt ships have their antis too. People who disagree with shipping real couples in a romantic way for whatever arbitrary moral reasons they have and who feel entitled to go out of their way to correct, stop, police and punish such shippers.

Then there are those who although may be pro real people shipping think they have the right to tell others how they should ship and to what extent they can ship.

Others too prefer to ship real people platonically because they view romantic shipping of real people as problematic.

So to answer your question on Anon's post- there is no such thing as a Proshipper who is also Anti shipping. Thats oxymoronic. Perhaps they might be platonic shippers who are anti romantic ships but not necessarily romantic shippers themselves.

I don't think there's anything wrong with preferring to ship platonically. It is when they assume by virtue of their false sense of moderacy that they are better than others that shit starts to get funny.

Those shippers are delusionally confused beings with a supremacist imperialist complex rooted in ignorance and absurdities.

I usually walk by those quietly. keep it pushing. Gotta mind my business somehow even though most times I just want to pull their hair and bite them and shit😭

I try to keep it classy.

Lord knows I try.

You are either pro ship or anti ship. There's no in between. Those shippers who are shippers but claim they are not are nothing but fraudulent, fake us, simps trying to bamboozle their way through life- pardon my Swahili.

There are a lot of anti shippers moonlighting as shippers in this fandom. It's fascinating.

Personally I think those people are either confused or their desires to appeal to other Anti shippers must have morphed their brains into ass dick hybrids.

Anti shippers in general are notorious gatekeepers, gaslighters, bigots, high key sanctimonious and often have a cis white westernized sense of morality and ethics through which they fliter others and expect everyone and everything to conform to.

They impose their values on others, their ethics on others, resort to manipulation, policing, intimidation and bullying to impose their will etc.

Within shipping, there are those who are Proshipping yet anti certain ships. Most Tuktukkers are anti Jikook. And assume anyone who isn't a tuktukker is equally anti Tae Kook and so go ahead and exhibit anti behaviours towards them.

Think of such groups of shippers as Proshippers with a preference for particular ships if you will.

There are Pro shippers who also feel some kind of way about Shipping real life people or alt shipping.

Here's further resource to help you understand what proshipping is

If you are intolerant with other shippers choice of ships or style of shipping and you traumatize them for it that's Anti shipping. Especially if you feel entitled and justified to traumatize others because you take a higher moral status over them.

You can be proship and not like how certain people, how they go about

Simply walk away, click off, mind your business. You are not the only adult in these streets and leave people to do what interests them.

I think for as long as I can remember, I've always been a proshipper and I ship both platonically and romantically, fictionally and alternatively💀

Some themes in fiction are a hard limit for me such as the R word, pedophilia, incest, child abuse- I just can never find the entertainment in those topics and will struggle through such themes.

But others believe it's just FICTION and those fictional characters aren't really dealing with the imaginary struggles we read about.

Yall do you sis.

I don't really know why people make a big deal of it or try to demonize the concept of shipping as if it were something strange or mysterious- just keep your moral values to yourself. I am not your mother's daughter. we were not raised in the same households.

Then again I think it all depends on the different cultures and social backgrounds we all come from and how entitled, supremacist or imperialist they are.

For Yoonmin, I shipped them romantically but didn't think they were a real couple at all. I just romanticized their interactions and found humor in it. At the back of my head I was expecting them each to one day find husbands or wives and go their merry ways and even harbored the thought they each could very much be in serious romantic relationships with others.

In similar ways, I shipped Minimoni and Vmin.

You can ship a pair romantically and not think at all that they are actually REAL.

A lot of jokers ship Jikook romantically and don't assume they are real. Just as a lot of people shipped say Elena and Stefan romantically even though Paul was married.

Some shipped Elena and Damon too due to their unscreen chemistry and even felt they could be a thing- that was before later it was revealed they had started dating in real life. Even that I was holding on to my Bonnie x Damon fantasies because Bonnie was my bias and I shipped her with everyone romantically- of course I didn't expect any of those ships to manifest into something because it was the character I was shipping not Kat herself. To this day I still love her onscreen chemistry and friendship with Damon and don't see how people could wish for it to be more than that😭

It was beautiful as is. Not everything should climax into sexual intercourse.

But if I felt at some point any of her ships had crossed into alternative ships I would have jumped on those and supported it whole heartedly.

If you assume a pair are a real couple and dating in real life that's alt shipping- a lot of alt shippers suspect a ship is real and that's why they ship them.

There is no such thing as platonic alt shipping.

And for me personally, because I believe Jikook are a real couple and have made that cross over I don't ship any of that pair romantically with other members anymore.

It's bizzare to me to ship someone I know has a partner romantically with anybody else- I make exceptions for Vmin of course💀

I know JK is side eyeing me but I don't care.

I want Tae to be happy too😭😭😭

Tae just wants his bestfriend and soulmate😭

It's too much😭😭😭😭😭😭

He stays shooting his shots🤣

Jimin Harem is real🤭

I must admit, I catch myself slipping on Vmin and Minimoni every now and then- old habits die hard and they don't make it easy 😫

But that don't mean I think Vmin is dating. THAT WOULD BE WILD.

Summary

Proshippers can be Platonic or Romantic shippers and you can ship a pair romantically and not assume they are real at all.

Anti shippers are just assholes trying to beat their values down people's throats.

Alt shippers don't ship their OTP with other players romantically.

I don't know what you mean by Jinkooker...

Do you ship Jinkook romantically or think they are real?? Sis...

Maybe you just ship them platonically or casually.

I ship all the ships platonically.

Especially all Jimin"s Tae's ships. I'd let my self flirt with the idea of romance every now and then.

JK's ships don't make sense to me as ships.

As nonplatonic ships I mean.

I'm fascinated each time I see a hardcore JK x any member ship besides Jikook swearing up and down JK is screwing Namjoon🤣🤣

I hope this helps??

GOLDY

[carpisuns]

do you ever get discouraged by social media? like the fact that a lot of interactions can never go beyond the surface level since you won't get to meet a lot of people irl or the fact that numbers seem to matter so much to how others perceive you? hope this isn't too heavy, just curious to hear your thoughts

hey, sorry it's taken me so long to get back to this! but yes, i definitely know what you mean. social media can be a strange and disheartening space to be in because it's all about perception and not often about truly knowing someone. we all kind of have a version of ourselves that we put out there for the world to see, and it's not necessarily a completely false image, but it's also not the full picture, you know? and in a fandom space like this one, it's mostly built around a single interest or group of interest, which is great for surface-level bonding with people but not necessarily for a deeper relationship. so it can feel hard to build truly meaningful friendships sometimes.

i've been fortunate tho to meet some amazing people online that i now consider some of my dearest friends and closest confidants. it started with bonding over a shared interest, but then we found that we had more in common and started sharing things outside of that one interest and talking about our lives and supporting each other in both our hard times and good times. i feel really blessed and lucky to have these friends in my life, whether we ever get the chance to meet in person or not.

i'm not sure if you're actually looking for advice about this, but if you are, mine would be to just be kind and positive and enjoy interacting with people, and that may naturally lead to deeper friendship. that's how it's worked for me, at least. kinda depends on what your vibe is and how you prefer to interact online but i've made friends by sending asks/messages to people to let them know how much I enjoy their work and by hanging out in discord servers to chat about fandom stuff as well as general-interest stuff. might be a good place to start!

and as for numbers, yeah, that can be frustrating too! i'll be totally honest—i used to care way too much about numbers. at one point it lowkey became an obsession for me 😩 i'd be constantly checking to see how many followers i had and how much attention my posts were getting and i got too invested in watching the numbers go up and too frustrated when they would stagnate and most of all just too focused on comparing my following with other people's. it was especially bad on instagram bc everyone's follower count is on public display and art tends to get a lot more attention there, so i grew way faster and i also watched other people grow at like breakneck speed and leave me in the dust and i would get jealous,,,woof.

but there came a point when i realized that my focus on numbers was not healthy or enjoyable for me and it was making my fandom experience stressful and bitter rather than fun and chill. so i took a little break for a few weeks and really tried to gain some perspective with it all and it helped loads!! i mean i won't say i don't care about numbers at all anymore haha but they definitely don't have the same hold on me. my growth both here and on instagram has slowed down a lot but i honestly don't mind at all and actually may find that preferable haha. idk im just satisfied and comfortable where i am and what i find most fulfilling in fandom is my friendships and my interactions with other fans, not really the individual attention that I get. it's been nice to take the pressure off myself and not worry about performance and instead just kinda vibe lol. like i used to stress when I didn't post new art for a week, but now i just make stuff when i want to and let myself take my time and post when i'm ready instead of rushing out of some self-imposed sense of obligation.

i totally get people's desire to grow a bigger platform, especially creators who have professional ambitions, and it's awesome to celebrate with them when they hit milestones. but i hope that no matter where any of us are, we remember that our worth is not determined by our online following. and also that we are all just regular people with blogs! I think there's a tendency to treat bigger names in the fandom as like pseudo-celebrities or something (i've definitely been guilty of that ), but at the end of the day we're all just big nerds who like talking about a cartoon lol. it's nice when we can all just support each other and share content and discuss ideas and stuff without making people feel unduly pressured bc their following (like putting them on a pedestal, demanding a greater output of content, etc.) or making them feel lesser because of their lack of one. fandom is about community, not competition, and your contributions are valuable even if they get less attention that someone else's!

ok i feel like i've just rambled a lot, sorry lol idk if any of this was actually meaningful/helpful to you but i wish you the best and hope you feel less discouraged about this! 💜

[necro-hamster]

Hello!!! I'm currently trying to save up for school and so I can eventually get out of a not-so-amazing living situation!

Feel free to DM me if you have any questions! If you're interested in a commission, either message me here, or email me at necro.hamster.art@gmail.com!

Rules, Q&A, and TOS below the cut!

RULES ;

WHAT I WILL DO;

- Humans/Humanoids - Animals (Including fantasy creatures) - Furry/Anthro - Original Characters - Fanart - OC/Canon - Shipping - Character design/Character sheets* - NSFW** - Gore**

*These will cost more than the standard commissions. Provide me with info, and I’ll give you a quote!

**I have limits! If something goes beyond what I’m comfortable with, I have every right to turn down the commission. I will never make any type of post smearing you for what you requested.

WHAT I WON’T DO;

- Mechas - Animation - Anything I deem to be racist, homophobic, transphobic, etc. in nature - Inc//est/Ped//oph//elia - Anything that's meant to mock or belittle somebody else - Real people*

*This is okay if you have their explicit written consent. This rule also doesn’t apply to actors playing characters, obviously!

TERMS OF SERVICE;

- My work is not to be used as an N//F//T. - My work is not to be used commercially. If you want to use my work for sale, we can work that out, but if you don’t explicitly commission me with this purpose, you can’t use my work on merchandise, advertisements, etc. - You may request up to two large changes in the sketching phase. (Ex; entirely redrawing the character.) I have the right to cancel the commission and keep any money paid to me if this rule is not respected. - Do not claim the work as your own. If you post it anywhere else, including in edits of any kind, link back to my social media. - If your commission is above $49, I require half payment up front, and half once the job is completed. - I do not accept refunds. If you aren't satisfied about some part of the work, you let me know while I'm sending you WIPs, not a week later when you suddenly want that extra spending money back.

COMMON QUESTIONS;

Q: What type of payment do you accept?

A: I exclusively take payment through PayPal. I'm in the US, so I will be receiving my payment in USD. If you're from outside the US, please factor in conversion rates. It's not my job to help you with this.

Q: What's your turnaround rate?

A: More often than not, I'll get a commission done within a week. Obviously, depending on how many commissions I have on my plate, this can vary, but I will always keep you updated and say beforehand if I'm a bit backed up.

Q: Can I use my commission for my YouTube, Twitter, Instagram, etc.?

A: Absolutely! So long as you aren't actively profiting directly from the commission by selling it (I.E., as stickers or on shirts), you can use it however you want! If you do want to use a commission for merchandise, we can work something out for that specifically.

Q: Can I make edits to my commission after I receive it?

A: Sure! I don't really care, it's yours after all. I just ask that you specify that any edits you make are by you when reposting or sharing the edited picture. (Ex: "This picture was a commission done by necro-hamster! He did the lineart, and I colored it in later.")

Q: Do you do deadlines?

A: Absolutely! If you want something done by a certain date, we can totally work something out. Depending on the deadline you're asking for, this may come with an extra fee. For instance, if you want something done in two days, and I have several other comms on my plate, I can bump you to the front of the list for a hefty fee. But, if you just ask me to finish something easy up by the end of the month, and I don't have much else piled up, I probably won't charge you.

[monstersandmaw]

Evening to ya, Ghosti✌️😆

Sorry if the wording sounds silly, but I wanted to ask if you know any rituals I could do for the New Years. 🤣 Christmas hasn't been exactly an easy time for me for various reasons and I tend to get the holiday blues pretty bad, and for a long old while New Years has felt very similar. I'm doing my best to feel hopeful and to have some faith for the new year, but it's turning out to be trickier than I anticipated. So I wanted to ask for suggestions as to do anything that could help feeling more hopeful, I dunno. :3

Though feel free to ignore this if you don't have the energy for it. I hope you had delightful holiday however you celebrated!!! 😊💖💖💖💖

Hey anon! (it’s now afternoon here in the UK, and it was morning when I started this! I got a bit carried away). I don’t know that I’m necessarily the right person to ask about this, but here are some ideas of things I’ve found helpful/centring/calming anyway which you could draw from. Other folks, please feel free to chime in with your favourite ways to put the old year to bed and welcome in the new one!

(first of all, I’m sending you lots of virtual ghostli hugs to help drive away those holiday blues. That sucks, and I’m so sorry it’s been so tough for you.)

Here’s a rundown of what’s below, and I’ll put in a ‘keep reading’ so that it’s not an incredibly long post! Some of it is more on the ‘spiritutal’ side of things, and others are just mundane and practical things.

Congratulate yourself on making it through the clusterfuck that was 2020

Make some tea and meditate on what’s been and what you wish for

Go outside, be still, and breathe deeply

Let go of negative events and thoughts by writing them down, then safely burning the paper

Disconnect from social media for a few days (or however long you’re comfortable with)

Start a bullet journal

Write lists of goals for 2021 and then refine/distill them down to 3 manageable objectives

Commit 100% to 6 months of positive change

Pick three dates/months in the year when good things will happen, and make them happen (including growing veg/fruit)

Light a candle on the full moon or New Year

Ok, so, first of all, you’ve made it through this year!! That’s no small accomplishment, given the sheer volume of absolute shite that has been flung at us from all angles, no matter where in the world you live. Celebrate that. Seriously, I’m not being flippant. Take a moment of stillness wherever you are, be ‘present’, and just think about the fact that you’re here, right now, reading this post. Not everyone is here any more for one reason or another, but you did it. Congratulate yourself and celebrate that. Treat yourself to a slice of cake (or something you really enjoy) specifically to celebrate making it through 2020.

Make a cup of tea (try a new blend or recipe perhaps, or stick with your absolute favourite), or make a comforting drink of your choice. As you pour the water into the cup, breathe in the steam and enjoy the scent of it. Try and imbue all the positive things - memories, achievements, moments etc. - that you encountered this year into the tea/drink, and think about them growing in strength as the tea steeps, and envisage them continuing on to next year too. When you drink the tea, you take the positive thoughts into yourself and they become a part of you. You could try it in the morning with a caffeinated drink (if you enjoy those) and let it fuel you for the day, or you could try a herbal tea at night to let the good vibes steep overnight while you rest. Make it part of your daily routine; a private meditation.

Go outside and find a quiet spot somewhere and either stand or sit and just soak up the atmosphere. If there’s a tree nearby, think about the way its roots are planted in the earth, its trunk stands tall, and its branches reach towards the sky. Feel that space inside you. Breathe deeply in and out, visualising your lungs filling to the deepest parts, starting at the bottom. Count to four for each inhale, and six out (or whatever you’re comfortable with, so long as the exhale is longer than the inhale). This will help to still you and calm you.

If you have something fireproof (can just be a ceramic bowl), take a piece of paper and make a moment to write down all the negative things about this year, using a pen that you’re comfortable with. If you’re not one for words, draw pictures. You can make it really beautiful or just scribble it all down - it doesn’t matter. Get that shit out. Look at it for a while and read it through, mentally letting go of each thing as your eyes pass over it, then light one corner (carefully!!!) and let it burn somewhere with good ventilation (a cooker hood is good for that, but outside is better). Visualise all that negativity being swallowed by the universe and let it go. My favourite line from the Seamus Heaney translation of Beowulf comes at Beowulf’s funeral when a Geat woman is singing her grief at his passing to the sky, and there’s the simple sentence: “Heaven swallowed the smoke.” How beautiful is that? The sky swallowed up her grief as she poured it out to the universe. The negativity might take some time to vanish from your life (it’s not going to disappear at the same time as the paper, sadly!), but watching it go can be the first stage of letting things go. I did this last year, and I’m only just letting go of the last things on that list, but it was a start, and it made me feel more at peace. 

Disconnect from social media. I know that with so much more happening online this year out of necessity, we’ve become even more dependant on our phones and computers, and it’s wonderful that we have this chance to connect with people when we can’t see them face to face, but social media can also act as a crucible for negative feelings. People usually post the best or the worst aspects of what’s going on for them or what they care about, so it leads to a skewed view of both the world and of what’s going on amongst our connections. It’s easy to start feeling insignificant next to someone else because of their achievements or their looks etc. and it’s also easy to start to get a bleak outlook when the news is full of terrible stories and people are reacting to it in a volatile and often knee-jerk way. Take some time off - uninstall the apps, or put the limiter setting on, or just step back - for a day, two days, a week, whatever you’re comfortable with. It doesn’t have to be forever. If you use those platforms to talk to people, tell them what you’re doing, and give them another way to reach you if they need. No need to isolate yourself completely!! Think about how you felt before you started it (write it down?) and do the same afterwards, and compare. If it didn’t work for you, then that’s fine too. 

Start a bullet journal! Now is the perfect time to start bullet journaling. I first started this year when I felt like time was slipping through my fingers and my life was out of my control, and it’s really helped me to get a sense of order back. It’s not the magic cure-all for procrastinators and time wasters, trust me, but it can help to organise your mind as well as your day, and keep track of your habits etc. It can be literally whatever tool you need it to be. There’s a trend on social media - particularly Instagram and YouTube - that shows off these gorgeous journals that are basically works of art in themselves, and while it’s absolutely fine to aspire to that if you want to, the essential point of the bullet journal is to be a tool. You can buy print-outs from Etsy if you don’t fancy doing your own spreads. But don’t get completely hung up on pretty spreads and layouts because you won’t use it fully then. If you’ve got ‘new book fear’, like I did, make your own! I literally started my journaling by folding a few pieces of paper over, slapping a few stickers on them to cheer them up, and writing some lists. I didn’t buy a ‘proper’ journal until July 2020 when I’d got the hang of what I wanted out of the tool, and how to use it. I adapted one or two things, and I’ll be changing one or two things for next year, but it was a good way to start.

Here are two ‘minimalist’ journals and styles that I found helpful when setting mine up. They focus on usefulness and practicality, rather than overwhelming, artistic spreads and cutesy designs. I’m about to do a ‘plan with me 2021’ journal video for YouTube, so I’ll put that up when I’ve finished it, in case that’s helpful. 

Elsa Rhae

Pick Up Limes

Write down the things you want to achieve for 2021. These can be more abstract concepts like ‘more organised’ ‘healthier’ ‘start a business’ etc. Then, when you’ve got as many things as you’d ideally love to achieve/accomplish/manifest (don’t hold back at that stage), take another piece of paper and choose a maximum of six from that first lot to focus on, and below that, choose just three absolutely essential things to focus on. Make those your things for 2021.  

Now, this one is a personal one for me, so it may not be applicable at all to you/others, but I’ll share it anyway. For me, I need to make some significant lifestyle changes for my physical and mental health. So, I’ve decided to commit to 6 months of really hard work to bring about those changes. Time is going to pass anyway, from January to June. Six months will come and go anyway. Where will I be in six months’ time? I could be physically and mentally exactly where I am today. That thought is super depressing to me. Or, I could devote 200% focus, commitment, and energy, and bring about those changes, and be the ‘me’ I want to be in six months’ time.

It’s like the adage of ‘given a week to write a speech, it will take you a week, but given a day to write the same speech, it will take you a day’ - your brain will tell you it takes the amount of time that you have at hand to accomplish the task, and that’s simply how long it then takes. Use those three things from the 2021 list above, and commit to making those three things happen.

As an aside, tell someone (whose opinions you value) that you’re going to do this. By telling someone, you’re helping to cement the idea in reality, and you’ve got a support to turn to if it gets rocky, someone to cheer you on, and someone to celebrate with who knew what a struggle and commitment this was to you in the first place. 

Pick three points in the year where good things will happen. Book yourself something nice, save up for something and have it delivered then, or tell yourself that you will have achieved [x] by May, or September, or December. For me, it’s a working draft of my novel, and certain health goals by October, but make it yours, and keep those points fixed in your mind. It will help 2021 not to be one amorphous mass of time, and will give it structure and form. You could also choose to grow something in a pot - lots of vegetables can be grown cheaply from seed in a pot on a windowsill, and you’ll have something tasty to eat at the end of it!!

Here’s a slightly gentler idea to finish with: 

On New Year’s Eve take a moment to yourself, go outside if it’s not raining or too cold etc., light a candle, hold it (safely) in your hands, and be still. It doesn’t have to be exactly at midnight, but it will help your focus if it’s dark. Otherwise, go to a quiet part of the house and turn the lights down so that the candle flame is your focus. As before, think about what you’ve achieved this year, and be honest, not just negative! It’s very easy to say ‘oh I didn’t achieve anything, it all sucks, it was all awful’, when there will be tiny victories tucked away in there, I promise you, even if it was the toughest year of your life. Then think about where you are at the moment, mentally and physically. Acknowledge that state of being. Look at it with honest eyes. This moment is not for anyone else, so you don’t need to colour it one way or another. It’s for you. If you’re finding it hard not to be negative, be neutral. Let those thoughts come and go, and then turn your mind to the future. Mentally feed those negative thoughts into the flame in front of you, one at a time. Say it out loud if that helps, but do what makes you comfortable. Let the light from the flame fill your mind and your heart, and think about your intentions for the new year.  

Tonight (30th Dec) is a full moon, so if that is significant for you, you may wish to do this tonight instead of tomorrow. 

I hope that some of that gives you some inspiration, and I hope that people will chime in with their own new year’s rituals and habits. Be honest with yourself but not harsh, and be positive but not unrealistic. This year has been one hell of a ride, and we’re not done yet... Here in the UK, we’ve got the highest numbers of Covid that we’ve ever had, we’re in the harshest lock down (Tier 4) and can’t visit anyone, and we’re also going through Brexit (which is proving a nightmare for everyone, especially small businesses...).

Control the things you can control, and learn and employ systems to ride out the things that are beyond your influence. And take heart - you have a family of folks on here, all across the world!