#curating your online experience

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

hi! not so much a mental health ask but more advice? I recently watched Where The Crawdads Sing on Netflix : I personally thought the movie was really beautiful and as someone who experienced abuse similar ( not to the extent of her but it definitely resonated even if in a small way) to Kya I just was really focused on the film.

I started to reblog the movie because I also liked the main couple and I was surprised the movie wasn't talked about more. Out of curiosity I did some digging and found a huge amount of controversy and I'm kind of upset with myself for liking it. I don't have social media outside tumblr and even then I make an effort not to be online too much. When I watched it I just put it on because it was in my recommendation on Netflix. I genuinely had no clue how controversial it was.

Watching this movie in a weird way pulled me out of my depression and played a huge part in my recovery just with the stunning visuals, the music, and the friendship between tate and kya and now I'm just ashamed I didn't see that this movie was bad.

Hi Anon,

Thank you for reaching out and sharing how the movie impacted you in healing ways, in fact I’m glad that it was something that helped along your journey. 

Media consumption, fandom spaces, and even how one movie resonates with someone is such a personal experience - at any given time we are the sum of our experiences, and carry a wide range of biases, potential trauma, and even cultural and social expectations that (for better or for worse) we can sometimes project onto our viewing choices - and frankly there is no one movie that’s going to register with a group of people in the same way and that simply speaks to our individuality among the audience.  That’s actually a good thing.

Which is why I’d like to assure you that I don’t think the “shame” is for you to carry for not seeing the movie through the same lens others did.  And honestly it depends on what you’re referring to when you say “bad” - are we talking about stumbling across posts where perhaps concerns about racist undertones, regional biases, and/or problematic character behavior were raised that some did not feel were addressed in the movie?  Or are we talking about discourse where people are sharing their opinions about characters?  Sometimes how we feel internally when we read these educational posts, or even character analysis posts, can be powerful insight into where we want to work on ourselves, or how we ourselves relate to the characters.  It can feel personal to enjoy a character, only to find someone else doesn’t like them - we can sometimes get stuck on a narrative that it means they wouldn’t like us as people either.  Not suggesting that’s exactly how you feel here, I just mean to say that it’s understandable if seeing these posts brought up something more personal, but I’d also like to encourage you to push past the “shame” portion and dig a little deeper into the why.

However, regardless of what you choose to do next, I think media consumption/discussion/and even discourse can be done in ways that honor all participants with the inherent dignity we are all born with.  And one of the ways to do so is by curating your online experiences to tailor it to your personal needs.  We all have different boundaries, but there’s lots of resources out there to ensure that you can filter out certain posts and hopefully bask in ones that spark joy. And lastly, I hope you rest in the feelings the movie first stirred within you, ones that helped you feel seen, and heard - and know that there is nothing ever wrong with that.

- Mod Kat

[firedragon1321]

Today I (re)learned "don't respond to an obvious yaoi fangirl who disagrees with you on a post". Got a ton of angry comments back despite being as reasonable as possible. Read none of them. Blocked the person. Deleted the post (which was (to be fair) based on incorrect information- that is the only part I regret). Deleted their rant with the post.

I don't care about your ship. We all go down in a sea of fire.

(Feel free to use this image. And also block their ass. Seriously- it's this easy to get out of Tumblr drama.)

[obliosworld]

Please dont message people and tell them your squicks and triggers and ask them to block you or unlike your content.

I am nice and I did it anyways and blocked to be sure, but other people could very well use this against you. This is a matter of safety. Never give out personal info like that.

This isnt me telling anyone to not curate their experience online btw. Bc I am the biggest supporter of that and I dont care who blocks me if it makes them feel more confortable online. Just dont do it in this way bc it could come back to hurt you.

[bluegiragi]

kept hearing about your Monster AU but I only ever saw the character sheets on pintrest (dunno if you're okay with them being on there or not) so I assumed that that was all there was for it. Good LORDE I was not ready for the real comic to be that long Or horny! but I am living for it!!!

ah yeah😅 sorry, it did start as a self-indulgent, head-empty excuse to draw monster-fucker porn, but somewhere along the way i gave it a plot and now it's this!! as a result, i feel like it's a bit all over the place tonally, but i'm glad you're enjoying it!

[batwynn]

I’m seeing a weird uptick in people commenting nasty stuff on people’s non-cat/dog pet stuff again and not so gentle reminder:

Your phobia or dislike of certain animals does not give you the right to harass and bully people who love and share them.

Use the blacklist tag like a normal human being, and leave people who love rats or snakes or bugs etc. the fuck alone.

[cryoverkiltmilk]

[virune]

i forget that there are folks who genuinely get pressed over fictional ships. imagine thinking about people kissing and getting mad about it, except the people don't actually exist. i spend so much time focusing on what i enjoy and having fun that i legitimately forgot i live in a world where this happens regularly

[divorceblogger]

‘lowbrow literature’ has always been a thing and railing against it will not make people publish it any less

[zzoupz]

Are you a proshipper?

what if the world was made of pudding

[the-bar-sinister]

quietly reminding myself every morning like a little mantra: my fixation media's fandom is bad and I need to stay out of the tags for my mental health.

[anamelessfool]

Ready to drop my tag block list because some of y'all need to realize how much I actually personally don't like but I do the thing this website is supposed to do and curate my experience with a blocked tag list. (And also appropriately tag things I know others don't vibe with)

I got a lot of "oh you're so friendly and supportive!" Anons and I'm so grateful for that. I may not understand everything everyone likes but I appreciate people putting things out there from their hearts. We want more people out there living with a full heart. It's not going to happen when you feel personally responsible for deciding who is "good" and who is "not so good".

We are all humans and we contain multitudes and I have friends who love things that I just can't get into but hey they are good people. Just don't decide what is or isn't right to enjoy. Just don't do that.

I'm live and let live and yeah I do a lot of letting live.

[corviddrawsstuff]

people are hating on the new wild card?? personally this has been my favourite session yet. I think the haters are a loud minority and at least for me, even if im not a fan of a gimmick or season theres still enjoyment to be found. remember nobody owes you anything and the life series is a group of friends having fun <3

[sickofthistoxicshit]

What I learned being part of 911 fandom,

People have no sense of humor, no sense of outrage when actual transgressions are made, and foul language and hate is acceptable when someone write in their blogs something others don't like.

And that is not something new, only something I barely experienced before a certain ship came into play.

Now I'm not saying it happens only on one side, but the words c*nt, stup*d b*tch and other lovely blessings in one ask is too much. At least spread them to several asks.

Now I'm not one to post such things, it's mainly for me to know which anon to block, but seeing others having to put up with it over not liking a ship and preferring other, and writing it in their own blog, is ruining the entire experience of enjoying a fictional show (well parody) on tv.

I will watch the entire season after the fact, but I think people need to take a good long hard look at themselves and maybe remember that behind those screens and beyond you keyboard monkey tendencies that make ya'll bullies because there is no accountability online, there are actual people with feelings. It's not fictional, it's RL.

Be better than this.

Be kinder to each other.

Block blogs that don't speak your language,

Block people that don't match you vibe,

Filter your least favorite ship,

Do your thing, speak your preference out loud on your blogs and in the right tags,

And let the others do the same.

The more moderation you have the more you'll enjoy the experience.

Do better, for yourselves as well as others.

[star-named-riddle]

Try not tagging your posts bellamort and you won't have to interact with us

For fucks sake people, this site thrives on people sharing stuff and following tags. Do not tag your anti-whatever ship stuff as being that ship stuff and you can exist in an entirely parallel universe, that's the thing about tumblr.

Block the tags. Curate your experience. And don't shit on other's fun. Ship and let ship, DLDR.

[canyourlawnmowerdothis]

no more pro/anti ship discourse. block whoever you want to and dont be a dick if you get blocked. posting about how your side is actually valorous and correct when someone blocks you for any reason doesnt make you win it mostly makes you an idiot

[galedekarios]

not the untagged bldwv