#I don't ever want to have children
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villainsandvictimsalliance · 5 months ago
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I'm living the asexual nightmare. Two of my doctors have said that the only way to regulate my condition is to have a child.
Fuck, I don't even want to have sex and you're telling me that my options are:
Take contraceptives for the rest of my life.
Had regular sex / get pregnant.
Take analgesics with every menstruation.
Remove my ovaries so I don't go through the menstruation.
Literally suffer the worst pain I've ever gone through to the point of fainting.
I really don't want to hate my body, but being born a woman would mess with you in ways that are beyond nightmarish.
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maximura · 7 months ago
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merakiui · 11 months ago
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we know and love our breeding obsessed tweels .. but there’s an obvious candidate whom I haven’t seen given much attention.. and it’s our favourite apple <3
back in harveston, it’s been mentioned how there isn’t much youngins around .. apart from epel and his cousin .. but in terms of ppl his age??? 0 … so it’d be easy for his family to talk him into stuffing you full and getting you pregnant when you come visit one day… you don’t know that epel secretly introduced you to his family as his wife .. and that the analytical eyes they give you and your body was bcs they wanted to see just how many kids you could handle birthing naturally at a time… truly terrifying how they put this much thought into the time you need to rest before being full with his baby again .. bcs they don’t do hospitals but instead the women in the family use their knowledge (midwivery) to advise you </3
aa just the thought of epel and his family peer pressuring you into giving them kids and continuing the family line has you feeling all guilty </3 like it doesn’t matter what u want bcs you’d be doing it for the betterment of the village! how they convince u that eventually, when u become a mother, you’d find happiness that comes w it .. (silly reader … your choice and wants never even mattered in the first place! bcs if you showed resistance they’d just drug u and put u to sleep w epel’s unique magic and get u pregnant anyways </3)
truullyyy terrifying! beware of dear grandma’s sad puppy dog eyes knowing u refuse to give her great-grandkids! (lies … she knows what she’d doing </3)
also! can I be epel felmier anon? 🍎💜
OMG THE SOMNO POTENTIAL WITH EPEL'S UM........ how could I have missed it,,, it's literally called Sleep Kiss. T_T uuuwaaaa Epel wanting to practice his UM and you agree to let him practice it on you because surely it won't have any negative impacts, right? But he puts you to sleep and somno ensues...... or he puts you to sleep and the other first years are around as well. >_< you're like a practice pussy for them......
If anyone's going to gaslight and manipulate you into having children, it's all of Harveston. ;;;;; and most of them do it unintentionally. They just think it's so darling Epel has a best friend (read: wifey) like you who is the sweetest thing they've ever met. You and Epel make such a cute couple (of hopefully expecting parents). All of Harveston dotes on you, showering you with affection every time you visit. You're practically part of the village by now. Whenever you come to visit, whether for a holiday or a break, Marja always welcomes you with open arms, as does the rest of Epel's family. But it's Marja who is especially pleased to see you. She checks you over, asks if you've been eating well at NRC, asks if Epel's been looking out for and taking care of you, and so on.
I feel like the entire village would throw such a huge celebration when you finally become pregnant. They make such an event out of it; it startles you at first, but Epel explains this is just because there are so few children around and everyone, especially the elders, are so very excited to finally see the village grow and become more lively with young folks! You'll have everyone's full support before, during, and after your pregnancy! They are just so fond of you and are always encouraging you to eat lots (of foods that improve fertility, but you don't need to know that...).
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fullmetal-scar-simping · 8 days ago
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Average fma fan talking about 03 positively: Man, it's such a miracle that the 2003 anime is written even halfway decently! After all, the writers who, as we know, have never written anything in their lives before [citation needed], they had to work while locked in individual underground cells [citation needed], only fed scraps of fma lore by Arakawa herself [citation needed] while her story was actually fully formed by the first printing of her manga in Monthly Shonen Gangan [citation needed] but they were adapting the initial first volume of manga and oopsy-daisy shot past it [citation needed], so they made up every plot beat, character arc, storyboard, and lore change completely on the fly and very randomly [citation needed]. Even though they tried to 1:1 adapt her story [citation needed, contradicted by existing sources], they fumbled the job and butchered her story, characters, and lore. Arakawa sagely forgave them [citation needed]. But somehow it's a cohesive story?! Wow! Even though the story is sad, dark, scares me, makes me cry, violent, gorey, and my fave ships aren't endgame, so -50 demerits. Still, good job team! A treat! A treat for the monkeys working the typewriters at Studio Bones circa 2002-2004! #fullmetal alchemist brotherhood
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wonder-worker · 3 months ago
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Thinking about Elizabeth Woodville as a gothic heroine is making me go insane. She entered the story by overturning existing social structures, provoking both ire and fascination. She married into a dynasty doomed to eat itself alive. She was repeatedly associated with the supernatural, both in terms of love and death. Her life was shaped entirely by uncanny repetitions - two marriages, two widowhoods, two depositions, two flights to sanctuary, two ultimate reclamations, all paralleling and ricocheting off each other. Her plight after 1483 exposed the true rot at the heart of the monarchy - the trappings of royalty pulled away to reveal nothing, a never-ending cycle of betrayal and war, the price of power being the (literal) blood of children. She lived past the end of her family name, she lived past the end of her myth. She ended her life in a deeply anomalous position, half-in and half-out of royal society. She was both a haunting tragedy and the ultimate survivor who was finally free.
#elizabeth woodville#nobody was doing it like her#I wanted to add more things (eg: propaganda casting her as a transgressive figure and a threat to established orders; the way we'll never#truly Know her as she's been constantly rewritten across history) but ofc neither are unique to her or any other historical woman#my post#wars of the roses#don't reblog these tags but - the thing about Elizabeth is that she kept winning and losing at the same time#She rose higher and fell harder (in 1483-85) than anyone else in the late 15th century#From 1461 she was never ever at lasting peace - her widowhood and the crisis of 1469-71 and the actual terrible nightmare of 1483-85 and#Simnel's rebellion against her family and the fact that her birth family kept dying with her#and then she herself died right around the time yet another Pretender was stirring and threatening her children. That's...A Lot.#Imho Elizabeth was THE adaptor of the Wars of the Roses - she repeatedly found herself in highly anomalous and#unprecedented situations and just had to survive and adjust every single time#But that's just...never talked about when it comes to her#There are so many aspects of her life that are potentially fascinating yet completely unexplored in scholarship or media:#Her official appointment in royal councils; her position as the first Englishwoman post the Norman Conquest to be crowned queen#and what that actually MEANT for her; an actual examination of the propaganda against her; how she both foreshadowed and set a precedent#for Henry VIII's english queens; etc#There hasn't even been a proper reassessment of her role in 1483-85 TILL DATE despite it being one of the most wildly contested#periods in medieval England#lol I guess that's what drew me to Elizabeth in the first place - there's a fundamental lack of interest or acknowledgement in what was#actually happening with her and how it may have affected her. There's SO MUCH we can talk about but historians have repeatedly#stuck to the basics - and even then not well#I guess I have more things to write about on this blog then ((assuming I ever ever find the energy)#also to be clear while the Yorkists did 'eat themselves alive' they also Won - the crisis of 1483-85 was an internal conflict within#the dynasty that was not related to the events that ended in 1471 (which resulted in Edward IV's victory)#Henry Tudor was a figurehead for Edwardian Yorkists who specifically raised him as a claimant and were the ones who supported him#specifically as the husband of Elizabeth of York (swearing him as king only after he publicly swore to marry her)#Richard's defeat at Bosworth had *nothing* to do with 'York VS Lancaster' - it was the victory of one Yorkist faction against another#But yes the traditional line of succession was broken by Richard's betrayal and the male dynastic line was ultimately extinguished.
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what-is-it-to-be-pk-esque · 7 months ago
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Ok I know I'm heavily biased here but like I kinda love that Astarion's romance is one of the few in this type of video game where you basically end up canonically unmarried and childfree in his "good" ending? Just travelling the world??
Like it's honestly the millennial dream lmfaoo cannot believe i chose what would undoubtedly be my favorite option, first try
#also love that he's basically atheist like ok thanks you made the man exactly coded to be my type#and the humor and beautiful curly hair is very much something my IRL partner has too so like... how can i resist#anyways not sure a lot of people relate cause i think a lot of people want that fairytale romance#even tho wyll is right there yall#but i love me an unconventional or nontraditional one!!#i'm TIRED of being married with children as the endgame pls let's not do it#also a lot of people seem into him being a dad and im like... how? why? where in canon did he ever lmfao#more power to ya if you dig it but i just dont see it being in character#like in DAI i loved cullen and my inquisitor getting married and having a dog#and they seem the type to wants kids one day. but Tav & Astarion? lol no#i just think it's neat#is this a hot take? i have no idea but i don't see it mentioned a lot as a new fan tbh#pls do not come at me you can enjoy whatever you like#i haven't seen the ascended stuff so idk if being his 'consort' is like being his bride#but i feel like overall it's not and the vibe isn't all that different in this sense#except that you're hosting evil parties instead of travelling :/#Astarion#bg3 spoilers#baldur's gate 3#baldur's gate 3 spoilers#bg3#also YEA he's nice to Arabella but you can tolerate certain kids without wanting one or being 'good parent' material#case in point: me lmfao#OKAY update i saw the AA stuff and yeah you're kind of implied vamp married and he does mention spawn as children 😫#but he also says in banter he won't make any other spawn??? so what is it dude#anyway that's also clearly the “bad” route and he doesn't seem as happy as unascended#who feels “truly free”#and if you're durge I'm pretty sure its even worse to consider having kids?? lol#but i digress#pk plays bg3
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maulfucker · 9 months ago
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Ok so. This is less concrete thoughts and more scattered ideas but.
Dathomirian Zabrak biology speculations/thoughts!
While at first glance it looks like males are the only ones who have different skin colors and the females are all pale, we do see at least one Nightsister with darker skin (the one whose facial markings are white and resemble a skull), meaning skin pigmentation is present in both but manifests differently in males vs females!
(This is much like birds where the females are the neutral-colored ones while the males have more vibrant colorations and are expected to impress the females to be picked as a mate)
And it's very curious to me that iridonians have very human-like skin tones, while dathomirians ended up having two extremes, either having very vibrant skin ranging from yellow to red, or very pale skin ranging from white to dark gray, both outside the human (and iridonian) range
I think if a transgender dathomirian had HRT their skin color would gradually change with it (much like how birds can change coloration depending on their hormones)
The fact that males have no hair and females have no horns seems very random to me and I will not be thinking about the hair thing but I will say:
Have you looked at Mother Talzin's head shape. Have you seen how strangely tall it looks. What if. What if females "lack" horns because instead of growing at just a few specific points their entire skulls grow and elongate over their lifetimes.
This makes sense if you consider that they live in a "dense jungle" type environment where things (fruits, branches, predators..) can fall on their heads all the time. Having a thicker skull would probably help avoid a cracked skull from constantly getting hit in the head by falling stuff
(No idea what about the hair thing though. Maybe it's something to do with gene interactions. Like whatever gene makes their skin so saturated also deactivates the "have hair" genes. or maybe nightsisters are all wearing wigs and none of them actually grow hair)
Speaking of the geography of the planet, I think it's pretty sad that we never really get a good look of what the Nightbrothers' region looks like outside the village and some mountain terrain around it. Is it more sunny than the Nightsisters' side and that's why their skin adapted to have more color while the females' adapted to lose color? Or is it a seasonal thing and we just never got to see another season in the shows? Or is the village just built in a place that's so high the mist doesn't reach it? We get the sense that it's cold, at least at night, so why are they dressed in such light clothes? In fact, is it hot where the Nightsisters live, or is the entire species more adapted to colder temperatures and that's why they all wear so little?
What would happen if you crossed a dathomirian zabrak with a species that also has non-human skin tones but not linked to sexual dimorphism. Like what if you had a pantoran-zabrak cross, since pantorans are on the opposite side of the color wheel. Do you think they'd be an extremely vibrant blue or yellow-orange-red, or a middle ground, like green? Or perhaps an extreme outside both species' range, like purple? Do you think the "no saturation" gene would take over and make them gray no matter the gender?
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mayasaura · 2 years ago
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I just want to talk about the nursery being painted and the purpose of the Tomb to be without a door. Anastasia had a family - and putting to the side the pact with Alecto there's some implicit symbolism to John asking for the workers of the Ninth to die constructing the Tomb with that image of new life. (Still can't articulate my disbelief that he went and didn't think that asking Anastasia of all people, The one who lost her cavalier to him, would have problems)
Yeah. Especially finding this out about the Ninth, where nurseries becoming tombs is a thing we're sensitive about.
On one level we've always known Anastasia had a family. Like, we know she's Harrow's direct ancestor. You can't be heir to the line of someone who never had children. But the nursery.... Yeah. It really hammers it in. Her friends painted a nursery mint green for her children.
And now it's a tomb.
#that's what the Anastasian is now after all#you're right there's really Something there#I've noticed something in John I think ties into this thematically that I really hope Kiriona is going to help us explore#John doesn't believe in a future#I said in my last Anastasia meta that Anastasia outsmarted John by making herself immortal in a way he couldn't understand#she left behind something she created to outlast her#John hasn't built anything to outlast himself and he doesn't think of the future at all#he mourns the past and fights like hell to live in an eternal present where nothing ever ends#you know#immortality#and a part of that—maybe most of that—is about despair#even way back before the world ended even before he had magic powers he didn't think of a future#I think he couldn't imagine one#and like. I get it dude#don't imagine the future and maybe it can't hurt you#how many people have you heard saying they don't want children because it seems cruel or irresponsible#they can't imagine forcing someone to live in the world they see coming#climate anxiety is fucking everywhere and for a lot of people in our generation—John's generation—it's coalesced into despair#but Anastasia did imagine a future#she had a family#and now John has a daughter but he still can't imagine a future for her#she's just as dead and eternal as the world he loved so deeply he killed it rather than watch it die#what did Gideon say when she saw the First? it had the look of a picked-over body but hot damn what a beautiful corpse#that's gonna be you baby girl#the final expression of the art of the nine houses#John gave up on hope ages ago#so it doesn't really surprise me at all that he still asked the builders to die in the tomb#the locked tomb#ntn spoilers#nona the ninth
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pushing500 · 7 months ago
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Alright, Duchess. You've got two boys and two girls. You can stop having kids now before we run out of cryptosleep caskets on the ship.
Welcome to Baby Gangster, by the way. I'm sure Dire Wolf is delighted to have a sister at last <3
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I imagine that Pro, being air caste, is getting a bit sick of wandering around the planet. She's ready and raring to go, and who am I to deny her? Start the engine!
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We were immediately raided by pigskins, who were scared off by Pro herself (she's quite dangerous with that Pulse Carbine of hers!), but not before one raider managed to throw some grenades.
Unfortunately, Magic Man's beloved pet razorjack Dopey was caught in the explosion (and the second explosion when the raider and her grenades caught fire). Magic Man was understandably distraught at this unwelcome development.
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He wandered off to mope in the sauna, and we seized one of the sarcophagi that was littered around to bury Dopey just as she deserved. Poor thing.
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Our phoenix owlcat Cannibal (I swear that name was randomly generated) was also exploded, but he has nine lives, so he walked it off. What a champ.
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cienie-isengardu · 11 months ago
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Hot take: It's okay that Bi-Han doesn't like Tomas. He doesn't have to see him as family or like him.
By the addition of “Hot take” I assume this is not something that fandom at large figured out by themselves yet. Can’t say I’m surprised though. Yes, it is okay for Bi-Han to not like or see Tomas as family, as no one can be - nor should be - forced to like anyone just because others (adults) expect it. That alone doesn’t make Bi-Han an evil person, even if Tomas feels rejected in the process, as each person will define what makes one a family differently. 
Their brotherhood was forced on both, as none had any say in Grandmaster’s decision to adopt the orphaned and traumatized boy (how they adapted to the situation is another matter and so far, we know more about Smoke’s process of adaptation than Bi-Han’s). We know only small bits of what happened that significant day, but so far sources - the way the informations are phased at least - feel to me like the Grandmaster adopted the boy less for Tomas’ sake and more to smother his own guilt 
[...] Having accidentally trespassed onto Lin Kuei lands, they were attacked. Smoke was orphaned. Ashamed by his warriors' actions, the Lin Kuei's Grandmaster adopted Smoke. He raised him alongside his sons, Sub-Zero and Scorpion. [Smoke’s BIO]
and/or to save his honor:
Kitana: "You are Kuai Liang's adopted brother?" Smoke: "His father's honor demanded that he take me in." 
So this is not a situation as if Bi-Han urged father to give him another younger brother and dad complied to make his son happy but once he brought the orphaned Tomas, Bi-Han decided nope, I change my mind and from on I will act as a spoiled brat that didn’t get what he wanted. Tomas did not choose to be orphaned nor to be adopted (as he himself admitted he did not think being taken in by Lin Kuei was anything good for him at that time), the same as Bi-Han was not asked by Grandmaster for approval (and even if he was, his objection apparently wasn’t taken into account as Grandmaster still adopted Tomas).
Smoke: "Father wanted us to be brothers." Sub Zero: "Yet another of the old man's foolish dreams." 
Note this: father wanted. Not hoped they will eventually find a common ground despite the not the best circumstances. He wanted to save honor. He wanted them to be brothers. Again, not sounding as taking into account what the kids wished for or needed and who knows, maybe Grandmaster wanted it so much, he pushed too hard to get the most comfortable solution for his own conscience - except Bi-Han simply never clicked with Tomas, whatever due to incompatible personalities or factors beyond their good will? I presume they all were still enough young when Tomas was brought into picture, but if Bi-Han is the eldest out of them three, then he could had his own duties that simply didn’t give him enough time to bond with the (culturally and ethically) different kid the way Kuai Liang did, again presumably, as closer in age to Tomas. 
But even if Bi-Han simply didn’t like Tomas, then it is still okay, because people can’t be forced to love or like others. Not liking someone though doesn’t give anyone the right to act disrespectful - yet so far, we only heard he was cold to Tomas but that does not necessary mean being intentionally cruel either. A human can be polite and still come off as emotionally cold (and let’s not forget that people can also be naturally introverts or fall into the autism/asocial disorders spectrum that makes it difficult to establish good relationships with strangers. We are familiar with MK1 Bi-Han for what? Maybe twenty minutes of story mode and through intro-dialogues that only gives us a sense of who he is at this point. We don’t even have an idea if cryomancer genes affect his perception of the world or behavior). 
Bi-Han as an adult person seems to come to terms with the situation to some extent and got used to the idea of an additional brother - his and Tomas relationship is tense and complicated but it is now tainted by their conscious choices, however in the past, if Bi-Han didn’t like Tomas for whatever understandable or petty reason, no one can demand from a kid to act as an adult and control/smooth their own emotions to solve the problem adults created in the first place. The whole situation wasn’t fair to Tomas and so wasn’t to Bi-Han either. 
Would it be sad to learn that Bi-Han has never liked Tomas or never come to love him the way he loved his biological brother? Yes. But not liking someone or not considering someone a family member is not a crime itself and is not an indication of being inherently evil. Be it fictional characters or real human beings, people sometimes simply don't like each other and they have the right to feel that way. Not liking each other though does not mean anyone is allowed to abuse or disrespect others, just to be clear here.
I like to think this should be obvious, but knowing fandom, it may indeed be the hot take.
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shredsandpatches · 5 months ago
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had a conversation with my mother yesterday in which she was very clearly looking for reasons to be convinced I'm going to lose my job any minute (taking vacation time, spending too much time on performing arts, enrollment being down because of FAFSA issues, just being generally unsightly) and it really makes me feel like confirming her priors about education and Liberal Hypocrisy and nobody wanting to look at fat people is more important to her than my continued success and happiness in life
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hanzajesthanza · 5 months ago
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this looks like a long time but initially it said 1 MONTH 15 days
#i think i will just have to grab cutscene footage from online... im not waiting for that sh... lmao#this has me admitting that i'm not a gamer and left that identity behind some time ago... which is kind of sad but ok#thoughh when witcher 4 drops... 😈#oh my god i typed witcher 34 instead of witcher 4. i think that already exists on the internet LOL#i'm actually not as excited for w4 as i am for the remaster of the first game#i also don't have any saves and i need footage of like some late-quest stuff (just for a mention of lore inconsistencies LOL)#like what do i do go beat tw3 AGAIN just to get a clip of ciri facing the white frost#...................... well........#ok ngl actually a shot of emhyr in the beginning of the game would be better to explain 'lore inconsistencies'#because that's probably more aggravating to me than the 'we changed the white frost so you can fight it' thing#that thing is understandable. that's like basic video game logic. antagonists can be fought...#and though i don't like that messaging that forces of nature can be fought...#i understand this is a AAA game with outcomes that need to be written as endings. it's not an experiential VN#emhyr in tw3 though has just annoyed me and has actually annoyed me ever since i found out his character from the books#after all that you're gonna take him and pretend he just wanted to be a better dad and have a good heir on the throne...#well ok he did want a good heir on the throne. to be fair. just. not ciri but her child ... ahem#tw3 just dropped that pregnancy plot like a hot potato 😭 because it's so uncomfortable#without vilgefortz to decapitate in the end and the lodge actively plotting around i admit it loses its meaning#also to be fair tw3 does not have that throughline about reproduction and destiny that the books do#like the begetting of progeny is a huge huge huge theme in the books and so ciri's storyline is just one of a few ways it comes up#without geralt and yennefer specifically being angsty at the start about children it doesn't really work as a plot for ciri later on#the elbow-high diaries
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bumblingbabooshka · 7 months ago
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Tuvok & Seven of Nine should have been overbearing co-parents to the borg children
#non romantic co-parents and they won't even admit they're friends (they don't have* friends! they don't need friends!)#star trek voyager#they are organizing a joint schedule they have a shared space google doc#Seven of Nine#Tuvok#They are both overbearing in different ways <3#I think Tuvok is an excellent father and also that he would not be able to parent every child effectively - especially non Vulcans#Meanwhile Seven is like 'Children are basically little employees I have to train yes?'#Chakotay: You're not going to be raising this children...alone. will you??#Seven: Of course not. / Chakotay: Thank G- / Seven: Commander Tuvok will assist me.#Chakotay: -the most forced smile ever- o h h........#*spoiler: They're very good friends#I think Tuvok would want them to be better behaved than they are but know that children are unpredictable to a degree and they've#been through a lot meanwhile Seven really has no reference for what children are supposed to be do and act like#besides. Seven doesn't need to be a mother. She's like twenty something and newly independent - she should have been at the club instead of#performing femininity so she could be a ''''''real woman''''''#Stop making female characters mothers.......its enough.#None of the VOY women should have been mothers. Maybe Kes - she seemed like she maybe wanted kids. I could see Kes being a good mom#down the line (not in Elogium I liked that episode and its ending) but none of the rest of them needed#or seemed to particularly want that
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makenna-made-this · 1 year ago
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Interrupting your regularly scheduled broadcast to show you this super fun halloween commission i had the absolute pleasure of working on. This guy was a blast to draw~
*Info and links for my commissions in pinned post*
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inkykeiji · 5 months ago
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Just thinking about being Ajax's pretty wife ✨
me every single day anon ME EVERY SINGLE DAY as of late!!!!! okay but the thing is, ajax would love having a pretty little housewife, you know? someone to bear his children, someone to scrub the thick splatters of crimson staining his clothes, someone to cook and clean so he comes home to a hot meal and a spotless house every single night ♡ someone he can breed over and over and over again, routinely stuffing your cunt full of thick cum, so much that it floods your womb, seeping past the tight seal of his cock to dribble down his heavy balls, still pressed flush to your ass, in fat dollops of cream. but he hates it when even a single drop is wasted—it’s much too precious to dry, hard and crusted and shimmering, in smeared strokes across your thighs; or to soak into cotton bedsheets and mattress foam.
so he shoves his hips forward, flexors tense against supple flesh, a feeble attempt to keep as much of it inside of you as he possibly can. two slim fingers reach down to swipe across his balls and collect the excess before it’s lost, fingertips thrust into your waiting, willing mouth merely a moment later. they drag across your tongue, depositing leftover cum on the slick muscle, a ragged little chuckle exhaled hot and damp when your tongue curls, wrapping around his fingers in a wet, tight embrace and sucking them further into your mouth, a contented little hum vibrating around his digits.
but the thing about ajax’s seed is that it’s strong, it’s potent, it sticks. he plants pieces of himself inside of you on the first try, takes root in your body and starts to grow. and before you know it, there’s always a piece of him budding inside of you, even after you’ve birthed the last one.
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sullina · 3 months ago
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i think part of what makes so many people just flock to dungeon meshi as well is that it's also a story involving an autistic main character, who actually IS the main character
Because many stories will have an autistic character in them and then the story is more about how all the neurotypical people AROUND the autistic character deal with the characters autism, and the autistic character ends up as a side-character in a story that's supposed to be ABOUT them.
But in dungeon meshi, Laios especially is so much the main character! And i know he's not the only one, and not the only autistic character obv, and i know the story isn't about just him alone OR his autism...
But we get Laios' perspective. On just about everything. The story is, in the roughest terms, about the party venturing into the dungeon in order to save Falin, who got eaten by the red dragon. They're on a time constraint and have no money or equipment except what they literally have on their backs. That's the story.
Another author, a worse author, probably wouldn't have made Laios the party leader. A worse author would've relegated Laios to the "weird, awkward newbie who's excited about monsters but doesn't have the slightest clue or experience with them" who's job would've been to cite fun facts about whatever monster they encounter from some book he carries around, and the main interactions between him and the party would've been them yelling at him or calling him weird, to the point where you're wondering what this characters purpose even is in the story beyond comic relief.
And I'm so glad we didn't get this.
Instead of a story that emphasizes how "weird and unlikable" this weird character is, we get Laios being the partys leader, who, yes, is weird, but also competent and knowledgable and skilled and also is still a full character, with thoughts and feelings of his own, who actually speaks his mind and interacts with others on equal footing, who defends himself when he KNOWS he isn't in the wrong.
Laios and Shuros confrontation is both shocking, and also a huge breath of fresh air.
(Also, i know that "Shuro" isn't his real name but i can't remember his real name and I can't be bothered to look it up rn)
Shuro tells Laios to learn to read the room. A worse author would've had Laios apologize to Shuro for his own incompetence, but instead of meekly accepting that accusation, Laios throws it back in Shuros own face. That Shuro should've just been direct and honest with Laios when he KNEW that Laios wasn't getting it, instead of just playing along and letting that resentment fester.
And Laios is not only shouting it out, speaking his mind, and refusing to be treated as lesser than anyone else just because he can't "read the room", but he's also portrayed as RIGHT! Shuro would've have had to put up with Laios, whom he didn't like, but whom he let believe that they were friends, if he had just TOLD Laios he didn't like him DIRECTLY.
and look, i know that there's some hints or pages or whatever you wanna call them, that Shuro is also autistic, but comes with a different background, which basically just makes him and Laios incompatible in a certain sense.
But even with all that, Shuro still had no right to fault Laios for his shortcomings, when his own shortcomings played just as much of a role in their eventual confrontation. And the difference? Shuro KNEW how he himself AND Laios felt, but Laios only knew how he himself felt. Shuro was at an advantage in their situation, and he still faulted Laios and made him out to be this villain, who was purposely trying to make Shuro miserable, when Shuro himself NEVER opened his mouth to correct Laios!
And the thing is, Shuro isn't in the wrong for not liking Laios. Shuro is in the wrong for blowing up at Laios without EVER even giving him the chance to correct his behaviour!
And Laios KNOWS this, and he REFUSES to just apologize for something that wasn't even his fault! How could he possibly have known Shuro didn't like him, when Shuro never gave him any kind of indication of that fact?
And that's just it, isn't it?
Because I know I've experienced this kind of situation, even if exact memories don't come to mind, and I know other autistic or otherwise neurodivergent people have experienced this kind of thing. Of someone whom they were just having a normal conversation with or whom they considered a friend, just randomly blowing up at them for no conceivable reason. From our perspective, the other person just randomly decided they didn't like us anymore, didn't care about us anymore and wanted to be rid of us, or decided we were suddenly just evil, and they got mad at us, yelled at us, called us names, and then just left. And we're left confused and sad and, having no other information to go off of, because none was given to us, are bound to come to the conclusion that there's something wrong with us. We're just not likeable and any kindness from other people coming our way is just them being too polite to say anything until they've decided they had enough of us and abandon us. Because they never liked us. They were just too polite to say anything until they couldn't take us anymore.
#i won't lie that specific situation feel pretty personal#not to me specifically but to the author#because I'm not sure if any “normal” (neurotypical) person ever thinks about things like this#they just think we're dumb or malicious or something and don't even consider that maybe we just don't have all the pieces#and instead of just telling us we get treated like we've either evil or like we're children with the end result being that we get yelled at#and abandoned#oh hey while writing this a memory DID come to mind#in elementary school i wanted to play with these two classmates#and the thing is that they've apparently decided to play tag with me on the playground#except they didn't tell ME#so i was left looking for them all over while they kept running away from me for reasons i had no idea of#and the only reason i figured it out is bc i actually did get to see them once and was making a beeline for them only for them to point at#me and run away the moment they saw me#and i saw them doing that since i was beelining for them#can you imagine how hurt and betrayed i felt after that?#i had no idea why they were running from me#it's been 15 years and i still don't know#so the only reason i have left for why they could've done that is as a mean prank on me#because what other reason could there have been?#i've never been mean to them as far as i knew. from my perspective there was no reason for them to dislike me#and i know that others have had similar experiences and is it really any wonder that neurodivergent people have so much trouble making frie#*friends?#dungeon meshi#laios touden#laios dungeon meshi
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