#I don't even plan to publish this until probably next year
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fazedlight · 2 years ago
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Me, naively: This will be a simple one-shot
Me, two weeks later: I need to draw up a timeline for season 5 from this particular character's perspective
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ohcorny · 11 months ago
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so! it's been a year since i put never satisfied on hiatus, and 9 years since i started posting it, and rather than make you read everything if all you want to know is "when's it coming back?" the answer is still: don't know! but the answer has also shifted closer to "it isn't" the longer i've spent on break, and i think it's worth being up front about that.
i talked about it a little here a few weeks ago, but the long and short of it is that between taking on better paying work, writing better stories, and looking back at what i'd already done for never satisfied... i just don't think i want to continue it? the year off has been incredibly good for my mental health, and i can't see myself wanting to go back after the two-three years still ahead of me on my current project. that's not to say i never want to return to the characters or the concept, but if i did, i imagine it would be with something completely new, in a different form. after all, i started this comic when i was 21 years old, a lesbian, and a sophomore in college. i am now just shy of 30, a bi man, and overall a completely different person than i was, back when i was writing without a plan and putting all of my insecurities into the comic--insecurities i don't identify with anymore. lord i'm closer to rothart's age than i am to lucy's. hate that
anyway. you have all been extraordinarily kind for following never satisfied for as long as you have, for supporting it as much as you have, and being as patient as you have. whatever form never satisfied takes in the future (god willing, with a more cohesive story structure and A PLAN FOR THE ENDING, WHICH BY THE WAY I NEVER, EVER HAD) i hope to see you there!
in the meantime, as an update on where i'm at with the thing that made me stop working on NS: i finished it! all the pages for Hunger's Bite (if you remember it with a different title: no you don't) have been turned in and now it's just revisions and covers and then........ waiting a year until it can come out. because that's how it is in traditionally published graphic novels! nothing releases for a full year after you finished it! and you're even getting it earlier than was originally planned, because i'm a creature and finished it like three months ahead of schedule. i've also already started thumbnailing the sequel book which i can't talk about whatsoever and will now be working on that for the next two years and then HOPEFULLY the first book will have done well enough that i can sell a third! so you better buy it when it comes out next february!!!!!!
to ease you all into it, i wanted to do a little crossover to introduce the main characters. we have emery, whose design is fully and unintentionally just Seiji Again down to his color palette (but seiji would bully him if they met. like so hard. he's a wimp). then we have neeta, a girl who dreams of travel and cares deeply about worker's rights, and wick, a vampire agent investigating the mysterious and sinister new owner of the 1910s ocean liner emery and neeta call home. he's also gay. but sorry lucy, you aren't his type. you're not mean enough.
the best place to keep up with me these days is probably here, as this first book gets closer to release, i will probably be posting about it a lot. and i will certainly post about it here when there's an official release date and cover reveal! i hope you'll go read it. i really think if you liked never satisfied and its themes, you'll like hunger's bite!
thank you again for reading!!
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kuzure-collapse · 2 months ago
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Hi! So, to start off with, I'm absolutely obsessed with Loser's Bromance! Genuinely, I think it's one of the best Quote stories I've read in a while (and I read a lot). Please do not EVER give up on it 🙏🏻🙏🏻
Secondly, I was wondering what type of yandere each of them are? I have theories but only for two-three of the characters. Who would go as far as to kill someone for mc? Who would kidnap mc?
Thirdly (sorry if this paragraph comes off as impatient or rude), what's your updating schedule?? There's been times where I've been reading something then the author doesn't update for months before updating once more and I was wondering if you're one of those types of authors or not? It's totally fine if you are, no judgement here, but I just need to know so I'm not waiting around in anticipation for half a year 😭
Sorry if this is a big ask!!
thank you! i'm glad i could meet your standard. i don't plan to stop writing it, not until I've reached the ending i drafted.
this is a soft-yandere story, so nothing too crazy here. no one's getting kidnapped. maybe yanagi is killing people, but none of the main cast will be getting killed off. the yandere will mostly be shown in subtle hints at each character's obsession. the most yandere would probably be at the end, when yanagi decides to go off the rails.
---
i'll explain how each character displays their yandere traits in the story:
Tomohiro:
likes leaving marks on mc, like bruises or scratches from their judo practices
he would bite if he could. wants to show that mc is his
Kotose:
mc is nice to everyone else, but only bickers with kotose. that must mean that mc likes kotose, right?
likes collecting items that belong to mc, just small things that he doesn't think mc would notice
likes to think of how mc would react if he caught him
Satsuma:
opposite of kotose, he likes giving items to mc
first food, then the ankle brace. what's next, big hoodies?
similar to tomohiro in that it shows mc belongs to satsuma
Yumeki:
likes drawing and taking pictures of mc, treating him like a muse
whether or not mc is aware
the drawings often make mc look better than he really is
wants to be useful to mc as much as he can
Yanagi:
mc puts his life on the line to help yanagi, that means he cares for yanagi the most, right?
his phone is filled with video recordings and photos of mc's embarrassing moments. enjoys humiliating mc in front of others with them
eventually becomes more than a joke and he starts taking candids, some even turn out good
watching the vids on his own and thinking "he's so fucking stupid haha what a loser" with a goofy smile on his face
i wont spoil what i have planned for his yandere phase. but if you've kept up with my earlier journal entries on quotev, you'll find a few one-shot pieces i wrote about him
---
my goal for an updating schedule is every Sunday EST, Monday at worst. at the start i had chapters prewritten and would post consistently every week, but as chapters got longer, the time it took to post grew as well.
occasionally i'll go on a break to focus on life. I'm not the type of author that can update multiple fics at once, or even multiple times a week. i prefer my chapters to be at least 5 pages long and proofread many times over. sometimes my chapters get as long as 15 pages because i don't feel like it makes sense to split them up.
people praise my work but not many understand that the quality comes from how much time i put into it. while i could update more often, it wouldn't be a product I'm proud of. even chapters that I've worked on for months have me feeling iffy before i hit publish.
hope this clears things up! i don't particularly care if people hound for updates (i brush them off anyway), but i wouldn't recommend doing it too often since some authors find it annoying. most people prefer receiving nice comments like these. i personally like when people ask questions or make theories about the story. those comments are much more motivating compared to "pls come baccck" or "pls updattttee"
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wauzmons · 1 year ago
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We have been Betrayed, Backstabbed, Bamboozled: The Future of Elysian Eclipse
So, if you are active on our Discord, you know that EE is made in the Unity Engine and the CEO just decided to massively fuck over all the devs who are using it...
Callum Upton made a great video explaining the situation:
youtube
But it gets even worse!
Unity since defended themselves, saying that these fees are only affecting 10% of their customers, because of the $200k and $1m thresholds, so Indie devs don't have to worry about that.
…which isn't true:
Unity Plus
They aren't only introducing these fees but also changed the regular pricing plans! They just removed "Unity Plus" which is the lowest tier and costs about $50/month per dev with taxes. This is what most indies use. The next higher tier costs QUADROUPLE that amount and is also required to remove the universally loathed "made with Unity" splash screen. Oh! And if you have the personal tier, you won't be able to use Unity offline anymore! It now needs to do a license check every 3 days to function!
Unity's Ad Service
The fees will hit devs that do free-to-play mobile stuff especially hard, since they still have to pay the fees even when the players don't buy anything, meaning they could end up owing Unity more than they make in income. But what's this? If you use Unity's advertising service for your game, you will get a discount on the fees! The majority of mobile games run on Unity, meaning they are trying to monopolize the mobile ad market with this!
Publishers
Elysian Eclipse has caught the interest of a really big studio and publisher, who is considering to handle the marketing and publishing for the game. They are obviously planning to make the game come out big with sales, going beyond Unity's thresholds. But since the game is made in Unity, they probably now have to reconsider that carefully, since that would cause a massive amount of fees with Unity's new pricing model. So any game using Unity is now an instant turn-off for publishers, also massively hurting indie devs who don't reach that income threshold yet.
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What will happen now?
So, Unity can't be trusted anymore and should be seen as a major threat to us and the gaming industry. Even if they walk back on some of these decisions, what has been said, has been said. They showed that they don't care about destroying thousands of games, as long as it nets them profit, so who knows what they are going to do next?
I will pause the development of Elysian Eclipse and release the Patreon demo, including all the prototypes like Aquatic Stage for free today. I canceled my subscription and it will run out next year, so Unity isn't getting a single cent from my games anymore.
Unreal Eclipse?
In the meantime I'll focus on improving my C++ skills, so I can work more effectively in Unreal Engine 5. Unreal is the current industry leader, offering much better solutions for graphics and performance for 3D games. It is also partially open source and completely free until you reach $1 million in revenue.
It is unlikely that I will be able to just translate the game from C# to C++ and port it over, since it is using a lot of engine-specific features. This basically means, we will start from scratch... I can't tell yet how much work this will be or in what ways the game will change.
But one thing, you can always be certain of: I will NEVER BETRAY MY DREAM. I will finish this project, no matter who or what stands in my way. I hope you will continue to support me on this journey.
That being said,
FUCK JOHN RICCITIELLO!!
Fucking cunt.
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caramel1mochi · 1 year ago
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One Hazy Winter [Iso x F! Reader] [4]
[ Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 ]
Genre: Angst, fluff ‎ 
TW: Heavy depression ‎ ‎ 
Words: 5k ‎ 
Synopsis: One winter before his disappearance, you told your boyfriend Yu about a question you’ve had for so long; one even he could hardly respond to. It took many more hopeless winters for you to finally have your answer.‎ 
Note: Please don't copy or steal my work and pass it off as your own! If you'd like to use one of my headcanons or something, I'd love it if you tagged or asked. Good day! Sorry for the delay, I totally haven't been eating up the Iso stuff Valorant's posting for the past few weeks like an Iso zombie, or anything. Also I might start publishing stuff a lot more slowly with everything's coming up, but I'll try my best to keep writing! Have a good read!‎ ‎‎ ‎
。+❤ฺ·。❤ฺ·。+❤ฺ· +❤·。❤ฺ·。+❤ฺ·
Winter, present day.
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You were tasked with showing up to work extra early today. Not that you had anything important to do, but Ying had an idea, and she always made her grand ideas your or Yu’s problem.
Mostly you, for some reason. Since she was your boss, you never really minded this. Actually, it was starting to grow on you, especially since she seemed incredibly busy with something else and didn’t have many other ways to release her stress.
It was important to note that this wasn’t all daisies and rainbows, however. This plan, though joyous for her, was pure torture for you.
Your path to work today consisted of you carrying a basket concealed at the top with some cloth as you walked down the pavement. Your mistake of not wearing gloves, combined with the brutally cold weather and the heaviness of said basket, it felt like your fingers were about to snap and fall off any second. Despite somehow surviving every single winter in your lifetime, you never bothered purchasing gloves since you had this habit of keeping your hands in your pockets.
Fuelled by a certain someone.
Your thoughts were curt once you pushed the door open, your entrance accompanied by a jingle as you moved towards the counter where Ying was. Though she was writing down a few things on her laptop, she immediately met your gaze with a grin and prioritised greeting you.
The heat inside the café enveloped you, and you immediately welcomed it with open arms whilst you moved.
‎ ‎
“Good morning, Y/N! Did you bring the goods?”
‎ ‎
Take that out of context.
You pocketed your headphones, then slammed the hefty basket on the counter to relieve yourself of the weight, a loud thud echoing through the empty and barely lit café. Then, you slipped off the cloth covering, immediately taking out its contents before she’d get a chance to peek.
‎ ‎
“One,”
‎ ‎
You placed one ripened passion fruit on the table, Ying’s eyes glimmering in excitement as she turned off her laptop and clasped her hands together.
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“Two,” you set down another, “three,” then another, “four, five, six,”
‎ 
You were careful not to set them down too hard. Despite their thick skin, you knew you could accidentally crush them. And after a whole year of tending to that cursed tree, preventing fungal infections and protecting it from anything that stood between you and a bloody good harvest, smashing the fruits was the last thing you wanted to do.
‎ ‎
“Fifteen.”
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You set down the final one. And by the time you looked up at Ying, her grin grew so wide it could tear her skin open with just one more fruit set to the counter.
‎ ‎
“Wonderful– this is amazing! I can only imagine how many desserts and drinks we can make with this!” She held one fruit and let her thumb scan the wrinkly skin. “And how’re your other trees, if I may ask?”
‎ ‎
With a shrug, the basket was tossed aside and you made your way behind the counter, taking out a knife from a nearby drawer. Your fingers were noticeably less stiff thanks to the heat. Though it still hurt to bend them, it wasn’t as bad as, you know, probably approaching hypothermia.
‎ ‎
“We have to wait until next summer for the harvest, I’m afraid.”
‎ ‎
“Ah, is that so? No problem; the profits we’ll make from this should make up for the time lost!”
‎ ‎
She noted with the same enthusiasm from the moment you showed her a single fruit.
You didn’t want to waste your time making the pies. Your task was to grow the fruit, not cook them. At least until she said otherwise. Again, Ying was your boss.
Once you put down the chopping board and knife you previously washed, she handed you the fruit and allowed you to cut into it. And with just one slice, it parted to reveal a slew of yellow deliciousness glimmering under the light, waiting to be ingested. Ying aimed for said ‘deliciousness’. You, however, already aimed to keep the seeds for yourself.
She took the sliced fruit and trotted off, letting you take the others and continue cutting into them. The silence was immediately broken, however, especially once another thing popped up in her mind.
‎ ‎
“I don’t want to sound like a creep, but…” she piped up from behind, “I noticed you started listening to music on the way here again.”
‎ ‎
You paused.
Right… The headphones. You mindlessly took them out last week and started using them whilst pruning your tree, the action comparable to pouring yourself a glass of water to go with a meal. As if there was no emotional attachment to such a thing. 
And it felt good, now that she mentioned it. No– it felt triumphant, actually. More pleasing than coming to work with a basketful of fruit with only the bustling of the streets to accompany you. Not that your taste in music was anything crazy, but, you know.
You promptly went back to slicing through the fruit. It took a great deal of effort not to let the looming sense of despondency consume you as if it were a blue whale.
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“Yeah, I… Gardening is as distracting as I remember it to be.”
‎ ‎
“You’re not going to drop it, are you?”
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“No, no. Not at all.”
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It gave you something to do other than sulk in bed all day. Ying took the sliced fruit with a smile you barely caught from the corner of your eye, before moving back to the counter behind you.
‎ ‎
“I’ve actually purchased a few other things to go along with the pies we’re making. Would you like the seeds?”
‎ ‎
You looked back to see her taking out a few other fruits and setting them on the crowded counter, right next to what you discovered was a colander. The colours of said fruit pleasantly stood out against the variety of beiges and the muted tones of the outside world. A few oranges sat adjacent to the sliced passion fruit from you, some store-bought passion fruit alongside those ones, and…
‎ ‎
“I was told oranges were your specialty a while ago. I’m hoping that’s still the case.”
‎ ‎
“...What lemon is that?”
‎ ‎
Ying paused to look back at what she’d set down, before perking up and grabbing the exact fruit you were eyeing.
‎ ‎
“Ah, you noticed? It’s a Meyer lemon! I had to wait for December and go so far to find them; I still somehow only managed to purchase two before they sold out.” She grinned to herself whilst handing it to you. “I don’t know how you used to get so many all the time.”
‎ ‎
You set down the blade, then moved to take the lemon from her, observing its familiar shape and colour. Soft, round, thin skin, and a deeper tint of yellow juxtaposed to its regular counterpart. Just how you remembered it to be.
‎ ‎
“Where’d you find them?”
‎ ‎
Ying tittered and took out another lemon, setting it alongside the pile of fruit she’d already placed.
‎ ‎
“That’s a secret. Anyhow, I’ll need to fire up the ovens now and call in a few others. I guarantee that…”
‎ ‎
She continued speaking, but you tuned her out in favour of taking in the lemon’s characteristics all over again. It’s been a while since you’ve seen one of those. Heck, it’s been a while since you were even able to stomach thinking about Meyer lemons. But now, sure, they were doing their cursed job of reminding you of Yu, but what chiefly took over your mind was how you’d be able to plant this on your balcony again. The process, the space, all of that previously buried information was now slowly digging itself out. Huh.
A cold sensation on your thumb snapped you out of your thoughts, and you looked down to realise that you accidentally dented the skin, deep enough for the juice to spill. You promptly shook your head and went back to work.
‎ ‎
❤ฺ·。
‎ ‎
It took a while for you to finally clean out all of the pots and fill them with their respective soils. And it took an even longer while for you to plant your seeds, organising them outside on the balcony, where there was more room. Your apartment was now slowly growing more and more synonymous with a forest. Plants and bushes everywhere, you swore the air also started to change the more you tended to all of it.
You stood back and proudly dusted off your hands, heaving a tired sigh in the process of catching your breath. Despite the cold temperature that poked at your skin like an army of wasps, you were still heavily sweating, and it felt like your chest was burning.
How the heck did you do this all the time without anyone’s help? You thought, but again, you were more physically capable of things like this given your… erm, better diet and mental state. Better than whatever the heck it was now before Ying convinced you to pick up gardening again. It felt like your muscles had deteriorated after a year of… well, after a year.
Whatever. If there was one thing you were going to do, it’s to return to how you were before Yu left. Maybe even better. And these plants were the first step to getting there. You took the pen and sticky notes set on a table near the corner and began writing. The ice cold temperature of said pen stung your fingers, but it’s not like that stopped you.
‘orange’, and ‘passion fruit’.
But you stopped halfway through writing the word ‘lemon’. You haven’t planted any lemons. In fact, you ran out of pots, as unbelievable as that sounded.
You wanted to plant the lemons right now. No, you needed to. If you don’t start now, how long will it take until you finally get fruit? Besides, Ying’s thirst for fresh fruit wouldn’t be quenched any time soon.
But… there was no room.
You sighed, and went back inside. There was one solution in mind. But that solution required a level of bravery you could never hope to achieve. And now that she mentioned it, you could hardly put on the headphones without thinking of Yu. You barely managed to plant those two fruits without being reminded of your parents over and over; how were you supposed to even think of approaching Meyer lemons?
It just seemed too ambitious. It seemed like it was too soon, especially when you were still technically grieving Yu’s disappearance.
But the idea was tempting, to plant the lemons in Yu’s backyard. His house was practically abandoned, right? It wasn’t… occupied. How could you, though? Exploit your boyfriend’s generosity like that? Not only his generosity, but for sharing something so vulnerable with you, only to be used for your own selfish goals when he wasn’t around to–
Your thoughts were interrupted once the music in your ears paused in favour of the ringtone that began playing. Someone was calling. And you rushed to your phone on the other side of the balcony, checking the name.
Ying. 
Why would she be calling you today? At night?Nevertheless, you answered and pocketed the device.
‎ ‎
“Hello?”
‎ ‎
“Good evening!”
‎ ‎
You immediately flinched at the sound of multiple plates clanking against each other. That wasn’t to mention the people speaking loudly in the background. Though far away and, quite frankly, muffled, you were too used to the serene ambient playlist you had going.
‎ ‎
"Ying, it's ten. Why're you still at work?"
‎ ‎
"You should've seen it, Y/N! People went crazy over the pastries, they– they think I put some kind of secret ingredient in there! No, in fact, they actively avoided the store-bought passion fruit; they wanted yours!" She excitedly laughed to herself. "Can you believe it? I never thought using fresh fruit could have such an effect!"
‎ ‎
You ran your fingers through your messy hair, unable to hold back the smirk that painted your features.
‎ ‎
"No kidding."
‎ ‎
"I'll give you a cut of it this month. But we're only a few sales shy of purchasing that painting! What would I do without you, Y/N?"
‎ ‎
She let out a content sigh. You noted the unwavering excitement in her voice. Heck, you even knew that her cheeks were currently twisting to accommodate a wide smile despite being on the other side of the phone. But she kept the volume of her voice low, almost as if she were holding herself back in order to maintain her air of professionalism, or whatever.
But…
‎ ‎
“Ying. We need to talk.”
‎ ‎
“Wait, just one second.”
‎ ‎
Ying muted her microphone before you could tell her about what ran through your mind. And the doubt grew the more seconds that passed. Should you really tell her what was going on, or should you just deal with it alone?
Your heart jumped out of your chest once you heard an audible thud from behind you, quickly turning to see what the noise was. But you immediately calmed down the moment you recognised the wrinkly lump that sat on the ground, barely reflecting the light off of its thick purple skin.
It was a passion fruit from the tree. You… missed one.
Ying then unmuted, snatching your attention with ease.
‎ ‎
“I’m sorry, what were we saying?”
‎ ‎
"Something about a painting. Look, there’s something important..." you glanced at the other pots as you leaned on the wall behind you, "Ying, there's no more room."
‎ ‎
"Huh? For the plants?"
‎ ‎
"Yes. My balcony is full, and I ran out of pots."
‎ ‎
"I see... And buying a new pot is not an option, is it?"
‎ ‎
"No."
‎ ‎
You sighed, running your fingers through your hair.
‎ ‎
"I– I have a solution in mind, but it's hard to swallow."
‎ ‎
Your voice shifted to a hushed whisper towards the end of that sentence, and the despondency hit you like a truck. Was this even a good idea? Was telling her a good idea? What if she shuns you for such a thing? 
‎ ‎
"What is it?"
‎ ‎
Silence settled for a moment, before you finally gathered the remnants of courage you had and spoke up.
‎ ‎
"I'm..." you started, "I'm thinking of planting the lemons in his house. In his… backyard"
‎ ‎
...
‎ ‎
"His... house?"
‎ ‎
"Yes."
‎ ‎
Crap. The silence must be indicative of shock; she must be disgusted by this selfish idea, just like you were. This was the exact reaction you were afraid o–
‎ ‎
"Ah, that's a great idea! I assume you visited his house before; do you still have the keys?"
‎ ‎
"I do. He gave them to me."
‎ ‎
"Perfect, then yes, I think you should do it!"
‎ ‎
Ying cried out in excitement, all of the professionalism she feigned melting like ice cream on a hot summer day, all because of you. Presumably in public, considering the bustling you still heard from the other side.
So much for maintaining her mellowness… 
‎ ‎
"Yu told me once about how dead his house felt, no matter what he’d do. This could be the most ideal solution to that!"
‎ ‎
"In what way is that the solution?"
‎ ‎
You said with a wry laugh as you opened the door and went back inside, but Ying wasn't bothered by your pessimism whatsoever.
‎ ‎
"Because gardening is the perfect contrast to death!"
‎ ‎
...
‎ ‎
"Pardon?"
‎ ‎
"When you strip down all of the complicated details, gardening is technically giving life to an inanimate object, Y/N! You take a seed, something no different from a– a rock– a pebble, and nurture it. You turn it into a tree, and it's amazing! It's an extraordinary process!"
‎ ‎
You were expecting her to mention the still air, how having plants there would freshen it up, or the fact that his house was generally abandoned and it would be more beneficial to just use it, but this wasn’t what was in your mind.
‎ ‎
"...Ying, look, I respect your fascination with philosophy, but this is–"
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"Not only that, but a tree is a being that benefits everything around it. It– it replaces the oxygen, it bears fruit, and it returns what it has taken from its environment!"
‎ ‎
"Ying."
‎ ‎
"Think about it! When you picture a ghost town, what comes to mind? Now imagine that ghost town with a touch of mother nature. Fascinating, right?"
‎ ‎
Oh my god.
She seemed far too swept away with this topic, as if these thoughts had been festering in her head for the past few months with no outlet... until you came into the picture. Wait just a second, was this why she wanted you to go back to gardening? Or maybe you were just overthinking things.
Your words, however, fell on deaf ears as you tried to drag her back down to reality.
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"I think you should understand how valuable gardening is, Y/N–"
‎ ‎
"Ying!"
‎ ‎
"Yes! Yes, I'm sorry, I–" She tittered, clearly embarrassed. "I must've gotten carried away."
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“It’s fine.”
‎ ‎
She already sounded cheesy throughout this entire ordeal, but this was starting to get out of hand. You sighed, unable to stop yourself from smiling like an idiot as you stared out the window, observing a family of three hopping on a bus.
In fact, it wasn't too far-fetched to assume that Ying had a high opinion of you for your gardening just as Yu did this whole time, and she was indirectly telling you now. What else could possibly explain this random tangent?
…An idea promptly popped up.
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"Look, Ying, I have to go. I need to… do something."
‎ ‎
You immediately stood up from the couch and left to take out the sealed bag full of seeds stashed deep within the kitchen’s cupboards. 
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“Do something?”
‎ ‎
"I'll ring you up later. We'll keep talking about this on Monday."
‎ ‎
All Ying did was successfully add on to your confusion for the past few minutes, sure, but maybe she also ignited a bit of inspiration in you, given what you were doing. Then, you turned and grabbed a few keys from your drawers, shoving them in the pockets of the thick coat you were about to wear.
‎ ‎
"Oh, I see. I’ll let you do whatever it is you want to do. And if you’d like any help, I’m one text away."
‎ ‎
Despite being on the other side of the phone, you could feel a misplaced cheeky grin force itself on her face. One that, as opposed to the merry and artless one from before, would absolutely look weird on someone as mature and mellow as her. Well, as mellow as she tried to be. She just couldn’t hold back around you, for some reason.
But it still seems like she caught on.
‎ ‎
“Break a leg out there."
‎ ‎
And with that, you closed the call and pocketed your phone, rushing down the flight of stairs. Only two more minutes until the specific bus you aimed for would arrive, and you did not want to miss it, that’s for sure.
Ying's little tangent was so incredibly cloying, it nearly gave you a headache by the end of it. She spoke like a mum who watched way too many soppy movies from the 90's... Well, you might've caught her recommending a few to your co-workers.
But it may have been exactly what you needed to get you on your feet. You were going to plant those seeds. And in her words, 'bring life back' to that house. You weren’t going to allow the pessimistic side of you convince you otherwise.
Now that you weren't in on call, you were free to take out one earbud and play music once more whilst you ran towards the closed gates.
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❤ฺ·。
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Winter, two and a half years ago.
‎ ‎
Even after a considerable amount of time had passed, Yu’s house remained just as empty as when you first visited it. ‘It’s because I moved most of my stuff to your apartment!’ he explained when you questioned him on it. But if that were the case, why were most of them blankets? Even the bloody misters he brought along were purchased from the stores situated outside of your complex.
Oh, who were you kidding? It was on par for someone like him to own only heaps of blankets and hoodies.
And even though this was your second time visiting it, the place felt lonelier than before, for some reason. The rooms felt vast, despite how tiny they really were. Mostly thanks to the echo and the lack of furniture, but that’s by the by. And that wasn’t to mention the photos strewn around the walls. More specifically, the family photos. They left an impact on you despite being few and far between.
‎ ‎
Across the living room was an arched doorway that led to what would’ve looked like a black hole had it not been for the sunlight. That’s where you two stopped whilst Yu was fiddling with his keys. And instead of letting yourself in, you allowed the dark patterned wall to lead you to something you probably shouldn’t have found so interesting.
Hung above the fireplace was a picture you could hardly see thanks to the dim colour scheme that blended in with the surrounding darkness. Nevertheless, you still managed to outline two specks of purple on a toddler’s eyes, surrounded by stunning green foliage and the Russian violet coat of a woman who carried him.
It was… Yu. Being held by, presumably, his mother. Or his grandmother; it was hard to tell. Who knew he looked like such a cute baby? Also, how the heck did his round cheeks morph into the slick jawline he has right now?
‎ ‎
“Remember how you showed me your balcony a while ago?” Yu’s voice swiftly snatched your attention, “I’d like to show you something in return.”
‎ ‎
“What is it?”
‎ ‎
He moved down the short hallway and opened a cherry door to his left, his steps muffled by the crimson carpet flooring.
‎ ‎
“I left a few keys in my bedroom, can you get them while I go to– uh, while I… do something?”
‎ ‎
He looked at you with an innocent smile, awaiting an answer. Just like the painting, his bright eyes brilliantly shimmered in the darkness. In fact, now that you’ve seen him as a baby, it became harder and harder to resist saying yes.
‎ ‎
“I'll be back.”
‎ ‎
And with that, you moved to his vacant bedroom.
Though there were bedsheets, the bed still lacked a blanket. Which, to be fair, should be expected at this point. Once you flicked the light switch, you promptly took off your shoes and stepped on the large patterned rug, nearing the dusty furniture.
Incidentally, the patterns didn’t fit his style, now that you thought about it. In fact, the entire house looked like it was decorated by someone older. Much, much older. And Yu was way too dorky to fit that criteria. But whatever.
Searching was easy at best, especially since most of the drawers on the vanity table were empty. Within a few picoseconds of opening and slamming them, you were done, and had already moved on to the closet that harboured a few hoodies at best. Where the heck was the key? ‎ ‎
“Yu, where is it?”
‎ ‎
You called out, your voice echoing through the house. And it took only a few seconds before he shouted his response from what seemed to be… outside?
‎ ‎
“On the bedside table, it should be on the right!”
‎ ‎
You sighed and moved to the one on the right.
But just as you pulled the drawer back, you heard a large gust of wind billow through the house. Accompanying that wind was a cold sensation that forced you to shiver as you searched.
‎ ‎
“What’re you doing out there, Yu?”
‎ ‎
The moment you slammed the drawer shut, he presumably closed the door as well and prevented the air from further entering.
‎ ‎
“Nothing! I’ll show you when you’re back.”
‎ ‎
‘When you’re back’, huh? Jeez, you weren’t sure whether he was preparing something cute or trying to stop a disaster from happening.
‎ ‎
“Careful. You have no idea how high my expectations are getting.”
‎ ‎
He responded with a barely audible chuckle, and your cold heart just about melted. Since the top was empty, you pulled back the bottom drawer instead. However, just as your eyes settled on the objects inside, your mind went blank.
A medallion glimmered under the weak lights above you. And despite the darkness, you could outline an hourglass symbol etched onto the reflective object. But that wasn’t what concerned you. What concerned you was the gun that sat right next to it.
Why was there a gun?
‎ ‎
“Did you find it?”
‎ ‎
You jumped and shut the drawer, turning to see him standing behind you.
‎ ‎
“Uh– no, no I haven’t.”
‎ ‎
“Really? I know I put it there.”
‎ ‎
Within a few steps, Yu already found himself right next to you, and he pulled the first drawer open, grabbing the keys that were concealed by the sharp shadows.
‎ ‎
“Here it is. It must’ve been the lights.”
‎ ‎
“I… guess it was.”
‎ ‎
There was a gun in the bottom drawer.
‎ ‎
“Are you okay? You look pale.”
‎ ‎
He cupped your cheek in his hand, wiping away a bead of sweat with his thumb. Just as he did that, however, you quickly broke the embrace and took a step back.
‎ ‎
“Yes, I’m fine. I just need some air.”
‎ ‎
He was surprised. That much, you could tell.
‎ ‎
“Oh… Okay, follow me.”
‎ ‎
He promptly led you outside and took a sharp turn to the right, leading you towards a section of the house you haven’t explored yet. But that didn’t concern you. Instead, you kept your eyes on the ground as you followed him, unable to control the questions that took over you. Why would there be a gun in his bedroom? Should you bring it up? And what about that medallion? It was next to the weapon…
Okay, maybe you were overthinking things. It could be some band, or something. Maybe the gun was fake. Heck, maybe you didn’t see a gun at all. Maybe you were–
‎ ‎
“Here, you’ll need this.”
‎ ‎
Your thoughts were knocked out of your head once you saw Yu grab something from the nearby wall and hold it up to you.
Turns out it was a robe. He took it from the nearby coat stand. Long and soft, its pristine beige tufts were highlighted by the sunlight. It was only once your eyes settled on the wooden double doors did you realise that he planned on taking you outside…
Oh. 
‎ ‎
“You have a backyard?”
‎ ‎
“Mhm.”
‎ ‎
He draped the robe over you, allowing the thin yet warm material to enfold and protect you from the oncoming wave of cold. Then, he opened the door and let in even more sunlight.
You stepped out and observed the area around you. Closed off by a fence of stone, heaven itself stood before you… if it weren’t drowning in snow. Thanks to the winter season, what would’ve been a stunning tree was instead a massive dead log that barely held itself, its branches protruding outwards in a sickly manner.
You took a few steps forward as you took in the place, allowing the fresh air to fill your lungs.
‎ ‎
“If I were you, I’d only leave this place in the winter.”
‎ ‎
“And let your fruit die?”
‎ ‎
You stopped, taking a moment to process how that related to the current conversation. And it only took a few seconds for it to click.
‎ ‎
“Is that your way of inviting me to plant here?”
‎ ‎
He shrugged innocently.
‎ ‎
“You said it. Not me.”
‎ ‎
You smiled and allowed him to pull you into a hug, your head pressing up against his chest. Despite the misapprehension that he was, ahem, ‘subtle’, he was the exact opposite.
‎ ‎
“Shouldn’t you build a swimming pool here? For summer…”
‎ ‎
“Hmm. That’s an idea.”
‎ ‎
He thoughtfully mumbled to himself, before something else caught your attention. The hoodie that he wore was loose, now that he had taken off his jacket and scarf. It revealed a good portion of his neck.
However, before you could point this out, he pulled away and spoke up once more.
‎ ‎
“I don’t like spending too much time here, to be honest. Too many… uh, memories. But maybe…” he weakly smiled, “maybe you’ll find this place more useful than I ever could.”
‎ ‎
With his hands in yours, you felt an unfamiliar texture on your palm. It was only when he pulled away that you realised that he had given you the two keys from the bedroom drawer.
‎ ‎
“These are the spare keys. You gave me yours; it’s… only fair I give you mine.”
‎ ‎
You stared at him in silence, the ice cold metal settling in the warm palm of your hand. But instead of feeling some sort of joy, you felt your stomach churn at the thought of the gun.
Even without said gun to cloud your mind, you had no idea how to feel about this. Should you be happy, sad, or relieved? How did he feel when you gave him your keys? It was as if you were unappreciative of anything he did, like sadness was the only thing your mind knew how to feel. And that wasn’t what you–
His hand landed on your shoulder, snapping you out of your panicked frenzy.
‎ ‎
“Are you okay?”
‎ ‎
You sighed. 
‎ ‎
“Yu, I–”
‎ ‎
You were torn between asking him about the gun and admitting how you felt. Either way, it was a lose-lose dichotomy.
You grabbed his hand, fingers interlocked like two puzzle pieces connecting.
‎ ‎
“You’re cold.”
‎ ‎
“Hm?”
‎ ‎
If you were stuck between the devil and the deep blue sea, you might as well dig yourself out, right? And that’s what you did.
You pocketed the keys, then held his hand in both of yours to check his temperature. And you were right; he was starting to get cold. Very cold.
‎ ‎
“It– it’s not that bad, Y/N. Really. The hoodie is warm enough.”
‎ ‎
“Don’t start with that. You’ll get a fever.”
‎ ‎
A misplaced grin painted his features.
‎ ‎
“Really?”
‎ ‎
You grabbed him by the collar and pulled him closer.
‎ ‎
“Shut up and come here.”  
‎ ‎
Yu lightly laughed as you wrapped the soft robe around him, bringing him to you to share your warmth. Of course the thought of you nursing him back to health was tempting to him. Knowing how cheesy he was, you’d have to be watchful so that he wouldn’t orchestrate something like that.
With his arm around your shoulder, you took out the keys again, sombrely observing their shape.
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dearweirdme · 7 months ago
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I asked this from Peach and I really want to know your opinions on this one Rain🙏💜
I have one “thing” that I want to say and it’s super crazy😂I call it a “thing” because I really don’t know how to name it especially when I know that I’m biased towards both JK & Tae and their relationship regardless of what it is and you want to lable it👍
What if everything that we’ve seen so far (literally since 2017/2018 when I first kinda felt the first change of vibe and behavior in their interactions) is just a scenario to help Jungkook and Taehyung out with their coming out process? (Like it has multiple phases which are all written in their contracts.)
SK is homophobic and coming out will change many things (change = ruin) and I do know well that it’s all WISHFUL THINKING but I personally believe (a part of me) that many things are play to help them come out and they’ve been taking all these measures to reduce the impact of its consequences and we will see more of these measures in the years to come…even Jennie and the girl in the footage from JK’s apartment and Dispatch😁 (Money, Money, Money💸) (To this day, I still cannot believe that TaeNnie’s associated contents were edited or that one footage was not JK in his apartment with Bam and that girl and the weird stance that Dispatch has taken over the years).
Call me crazy (I know I am one😂) but this is how a part of my mind thinks and I’m crazy enough to share it with ya’ll😂
Like HYBE has been taking all measures possible to make sure that everything is confusing about TaeKook (ITS talk / Promoting JiKook / Hiding TaeKook / TaeNnie, to name some) until the right time comes😂
Bro this is just crazy and downright madness and I’m laughing about how crazy this thing is but I’m thinking about it😂
I mean like, JiKook enlisting together is the obvious sign that they’re not a couple because it’s just me or ya’ll think it’s so dangerous to engage in homosexual activities in the Korean army!? Ok, let’s say it’s BTS and they have signed NDAs to protect their privacy…but a whole unit just because they couldn’t stay away from each other for two years? It’s not a rational move in my opinion! (JiKook enlisting together was the end of JiKook for me).
I still have TaeNnie and that girl in JK’s apartment. There are many things that have stopped me from believing that something is really going on between TaeKook: JiKook being the first one, then comes TaeNnie and the girl in the apartment😁
Let’s see what narrative HYBE wants to promote by adding Taehyung to AYS🤭
Hi anon! So I asked @peachjagiya if I could post first, because I always feel some kind of way about answering the same asks.
Basically, I understand what you are saying.. I love the hopefullness, but I don't think this is what's happening.
I think what we have been seeing is that Tae and Jk are being more and more portrayed as close friends. I think they themselves have worked on that the hardest, because it matters to them. I don't think Hybe actually cares about them and their private lives enough to bother to try and help them. When the time comes for them to come out (and I think it will, but probably not for a few years... 5, possibly 10), Hybe will work out a plan to make them come out and benefit of that as much as they can, but before that.. I'm pessimistic. Taennie happened for a reason, and it was (for Tae's part) to keep people thinking he loves women. They are making a comeback next year, which is not the right time for a potential scandal. What Hybe will do to seed the news of a coming out, is let Dispatch publish increasingly more pics of Tae and Jk out. At dinner, visiting each other's places, on holiday, and at a certain point perhaps holding hands. That will take place over a couple of months.. so relatively fast, and it will end with an official announcement (if they are still with Hybe at the time). I tend to think that it's possible for them to come out individually first.. but I'm not sure what that will do for speculations, and if that's something they would want before coming out as a couple.
For me personally, Tae and Jk and everything around them isn't confusing at all. They fell in love, that was a problem and Bh tried to hide them. I'm never going to believe anonymous sources on the internet with clear signs of editing over Tae and Jk themselves, but I understand why it throws people off.
I don't really think Hybe is portraying much of a narrative with AYS to be honest. I think all of them are portrayed as good friends, which is truly all I need. I'm sure Jm will be put in the middle a lot, and I'm expecting to see more Vmin cuteness than Tkk cuteness for sure. But when I think about what we came from.. this is already so much. Pleassssseeeeeee, let it be Tae and Jm sharing the bed in jeju though 😂.
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thatbanditqueen · 1 year ago
Text
Basic Training Chapter 7
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Mad love to my alpha @whositmcwhatsit seriously your editing and feedback make this so much better. Also love and special thanks to my lovely elvis coven, @vintageshanny @ellie-24 @be-my-ally @peskybedtime @from-memphis-with-love @missmaywemeetagain @powerofelvis @be-my-ally @shakerattlescroll @lookingforrainbows and to @ab4eva for her sweetness, you were the only person to ask me about Bess on tumblr between now and the last chapter and I was like oh, I guess someone is still reading this. Which is good. Because I am still writing it. ;)
Thanks to everyone who reads this, shares, reblogs, leaves a comment or whatever. I write for myself, but I publish for community, and I don't think I could write with out your support and friendship.
Summary: Bess resigns to get over Elvis and move on, but he has other plans.
Warnings: Not much, depictions of mental illness/delusion.
WC: 6.5 K
If you need to catch up Chapter Six: Guided Missiles or the masterlist here Basic Training
Click here if you prefer to read on A03
Chapter 7: The Minefield
12:15 p.m., Friday,  April 24th, 1958
Commissioned Officer’s Mess
Army Intelligence Training Unit, Fort Hood, TX
“I thought you were applying to law school?”
Bess let her straw drop out of her mouth to meet James’ concerned stare across the mahogany table.
“Um, I changed my mind.” Her eyes dropped back to her chocolate egg cream and she paused for a moment. The sound of glasses clinking and hushed conversations reverberated through the Army Intelligence officer’s club. “I kinda dropped the ball on writing my sample essay. And,ugh, I haven't been able to focus at all on studying for the entrance exam.” Bess trailed her shoe anxiously across the burgundy carpet, she hated admitting that she had given up on lawyer school. “It’s just temporary, a temporary pause.  No, for now, I think a year or two working for the state department is the best next step. I’ve always wanted to spend time in Europe..”
“But Helsinki, Bess?” James reached over to comfort her with a hand squeeze, but she pulled loose and went back to eating her pot roast lunch.
“Finland is a stepping stone.I could be working in Berlin next summer. And Helsinki has a lot of international action. It’s right next to St. Petersburg.”
“This sudden need to go to the coldest burg in Europe wouldn’t have anything to do with a certain tall, dark soldier who’s been doing extra laps around the barracks every day, would it?”
Bess lifted her thick, white cotton napkin to obscure the blush spreading up her cheeks. “I saw that he’s had extra PT, I’ve been wondering what happened.”
“Oh? I thought for sure that was all you and your front office connections, getting back at Presley — “
“Jameson, I would never abuse my position in the Front Office for revenge. You know how basic training is. Drill sergeants use any excuse to tear you apart just so they can build you back up again. He probably was late to inspection, or maybe he tried to protest extra push ups, and now it’s marathon time everyday til he’s learned his lesson.”
“Hmmm, must be. Though I don’t feel even the teensiest twinge of sympathy for him after that stunt he pulled on you? Think it would look suspicious if he got run over by a jeep? In his barracks?” James winked at Bess/
“Ha, just say you made a wrong turn.” Bess chuckled, but her smile quickly faded into a sigh.
She speared a potato with her fork, looking at it as if it had the answer to life’s secrets like a magic eight ball. Maybe all she needed to do was turn potato over and around until it revealed her fate. Sadly, no messages turned up, and she laid it back on her plate. 
“Thing is, I knew he had other girlfriends. I just wished he’d called and canceled our plans instead of leaving me hanging to find out another way. The most humiliating way.”
“Maybe he couldn’t get away to call? Or forgot your number? Have you seen him at all?”
Bess shook her head, sipping her drink again. “Uh uh. But I’ve been avoiding him. What am I supposed to say? It hurt my feelings that you put the kibosh on our night together for a pajama party with one of your steady girlfriends?“ Her eyes met James. “But, uh, he knows my number, though. He called that Monday, after she left town. And several other times.”
“What did he say?”
“I don’t know, I have Kay on switchboard duty. She has strict instructions to inform male callers that I’m not home.”
“You oughta talk to him, honey, let him have it.”
“I’d rather not, I  - I, it was, uh. The whole thing felt so icky, I never want to feel that way again. It took me back to last summer and Be. Except, this time, I’m the other woman and I know all about his girlfriend back in Memphis.” Bess put down her fork, unable to eat anymore.  “I think my picker is broken, James. I’m destined to be alone.”
“But are you supposed to be alone in Helsinki?”
“I’m actually excited to be single in Helsinki.” James raised his eyebrows. “What? The city is is pretty hip!They just hosted the Olympics. Lots of people live there from all over the world. After Berlin, it is one of the top hubs for working with the Ruskies.”
“Ok, ok, I get it, you hussy, you’ll probably be able to play patty cake with an assortment of good looking European men. I just can’t believe you are abandoning me, it’s so selfish. I’m almost ready to swear I’ll never buy another Presley record.”
“I’m not leaving because of him!” Bess huffed at the way James arched his eyebrow higher and straightened her napkin over her skirt. Aggressively. “I swear, how many times do I have to tell you, he’s just helped me get the perspective I needed. The straw that broke the camel’s back. I gotta get out of this place before I wind up like Mabel.”
 James sniffed as he motioned to the waiter. “Mabel seems happy, could be worse.”
“Yeah, well, I’m not. But you might be out of here before me. I only just sent in my application materials, you know how these civilian posts can be. If I make the first cut, I still have to do a round of phone interviews,an in-person one, a thorough background check. Why, I probably won’t head out until the summer. If I get it.”
James quirked his mouth and whistled when they stood to leave and shook his head.
“Seems like such a waste to store all your resources behind a desk. Should be out, serving our country at USO shows.”
Bess slapped James shoulder, then straightened his jacket, smoothing her hand over his medals.
“Jameson, stop. Do you talk to the debutantes back in Rhode Island like this? You know, half the officers in here are probably my father’s spies. Keep whistling at me like that, they’ll convince him we’re an item.” She grabbed her purse and put her gloves back on. “Besides, I am not exactly the type who likes performing or attention.:
He looked her over once again, making an exaggerated show of appreciation for the way that Bess’ smart tweed pencil skirt hugged her hips.
“Oh, but that’s what makes you such a knockout, Bessie Girl. Why don’t we get married, huh? We could travel the world together, life would never be boring. We’d have great looking, smart kids.”
Bess put her finger to James’ lips, looking into the hazel eyes that glimmered below his perfectly coiffed honey blonde hair.
“I wish I could. I can’t marry someone I don’t love, not in the way I love you anyway.It’s no good, we’d end up ruining our friendship.”
James slid his arm through Bess’ as he led them out of the officer’s club. “I suppose you’re right, Schwartz, but if you ever get desperate and want to be married to a dashing officer who’d never leave you for another woman, the offer stands.”
“This is no time to be getting married, Jameson. I’m sure you’ll want to enjoy the local flavor in Heidelberg.”
“Hmm, yeah, no matter the gene pool, it’s gotta be better than this dump.”
Bess smoothed her hair once they were outside and turned to James. He looked so handsome in his dashing officer’s uniform, cap under his arm. He was probably the best looking, wealthiest man to ever propose to her, even in jest. She really would miss him once they left Fort Hood. Bess gripped James arm tighter before they parted, and smiled.
“No kidding, I can’t wait to put Fort Hood and Elvis and everything in my rear view mirror. Get a fresh start in gorgeous, romantic Helsinki-town, city of dreams.”
“I thought that was Paris?”
“Nope, pretty sure it’s Helsinki.  Though I understand why you’re confused, Helsinki is the Paris of the Baltic Sea.”
“No one calls it that.”
“Sure they do, I’m starting it now.”
James smiled, fixing his uniform cap back on his head. “Ha, ok. Well, as they say in Helsinki, au revoir.”
*********************************************
Bess’ fresh start suddenly seemed a million miles away when she glimpsed Elvis Presley running round the base. It had only taken a few minutes after she got into her father’s Oldsmobile before she recognized Elvis’ tall, perspiring figure jogging around the circular track behind the PX. There he was, in his sweat-soaked tee-shirt, dog tags jingling over his chest, running towards them in the dusk of sunset. 
It struck her for a moment how odd it was for the drill sergeants to have him do laps out here on the road near the gate instead of closer to the 37th tank division. They must be making a public example of him, she thought, having him do laps out here as people drive past on a main road out of the base. 
It was working, he looked absolutely miserable and exhausted. The cold grimace he had fixed on his face pulled on Bess’ heartstrings, and she felt a compulsory urge to go comfort him. But then she remembered why she’d cut him loose, and nodded to herself, reaffirming how wise she was protecting herself from further heartache. It wasn’t easy. 
She got so captivated watching him take off his cap and wipe his forehead as they got closer, that she suddenly realized he was about to run by her car and had to quickly duck down flat against the bench seat to avoid being seen.
“Ilsa, whatever are you doing?”
Bess popped up with a squeak, looking over her shoulder at Elvis’ figure running away behind them, then stuttered to her father. “I, um, I dropped my lipstick on the floor is all, Papa.” 
Dinner was pleasant enough. Mama served tuna noodle casserole and followed it with a cherry cream cheese jello mold. It was comforting to Bess to think these were recipes any other family on the block might be eating tonight. Though she doubted whether the other mothers were wearing a matching red dress and explaining the deep meaning behind the color red, and how powerful color it is, one that can provide all the strength and nourishment they needed. Bess did concede that cherry Jell-O tasted like what she thought the color red might taste like. 
And if a lecture on the spiritual nature of red Jell-o was the most occult Mama got tonight, then tonight was a good night. 
After eating, Bess changed into a more comfortable, simple light blue house dress, and was trying to calculate how long it had been since Mama had one of her episodes as she walked downstairs, when she heard Kay on the phone.
“Well, no Rex, I guess I’m not doing anything. Well, sure, gee whiz, yeah, I know a few friends who’d flip their lids at the chance. You bet, meet you there at 8!”
Bess turned the corner at the bottom of the landing, and gripped the polished circular handrail as Kay spun around with a wide, beaming grin. Her sister halted suddenly and tripped forward with a gasp when she caught Bess’s stare.
“Was that Elvis’ bunk mate, Rex?”
Kay gulped. “Mhmmm, I did like you told me, and said you - you weren’t home.”
Bess crossed her arms. “So what, now you’re going out with them?”
“Well, I - he - I heard Elvis tell him to invite me and any other friends to meet them at the movie theatre on post. It’s, it’s, not a date, it’s a group-like thing.”
Bess took a deep sigh. Miles Davis wafted out from behind the closed door of their father’s office at the back of the house, and she could hear her mother doing the dishes. Bess had come down to help clean up, and had planned to spend her Friday evening at home. She thought she might read or watch TV, play a game of gin rummy with Mama. Anything to take her mind off of Elvis. And now here her sister was, running out to go meet him!
“I cannot believe he invited you out.”
“And why is that? You’re not the only charming, good looking girl around here, Bess.”
“That’s not what I was saying, Kay. What kind of guy invites out the sister of a girl - a girl - a girl he’d been riding around with? You aren’t seriously thinking of going? What about Dickie?”
“It’s not like that. Cuz,  - it’s - it’s not a date. Why, they’re getting a gang together. Rex said I should bring some other girls. I’m about to call Carol and Tracy. If you think I’m gonna deprive them of the chance to meet Elvis Presley, you got another thing coming. Why, you always keep him all to yourself.” Kay huffed, and put her hands on her hips. “It’s not a date. You could come if you wanted, you know.”
Bess squeezed her hands into tight fists, squelching her sudden intense desire to slap her sister.
“You know exactly why I won’t be doing that, I told you how things went with him and you are smart enough to know he is probably doing this to upset me. And you’re helping him! My own sister. Kay Brutus Schwartz.”
Kay’s face fell, and she met Bess in the middle of the hallway. “It’s not like that at all. Please don’t be mad, Bess, but me and my friends, we have all his albums. You can’t hold it against me for wanting to go. It’s not like I asked, he - ” 
Bess brushed Kay’s hand from her shoulder and stomped off in a huff, her anger powered her through an incredibly fast cleaning session in the kitchen.
Mama dried the last plate Bess handed her, then put her arms around Bess at the sink. “See, Bessie baby, all that red Jell-o gave you the energy and focus you needed. I’ll get you some red silk underwear for your new job, I saw some in the Montgomery Ward catalog. Or were they red flannel long johns? Well, you’ll need both in Helsinki.” 
*********************************************
Bess had frowned as Kay traipsed out the door to meet her friends when Carol pulled up in her mother’s yellow DeSoto. At first she took her book upstairs and sat at the window, watching for Kay’s return around 10 p.m. 
By 10:30, she had moved to the porch, where she sat up on the bench hugging her knees and trying to read while she waited to catch her sister and pump her for information outside where their parents wouldn’t hear them. 
Yawning, she was just straightening the bows on her white house slippers when she turned to see a car pulling up in front of the house. But this was not Carol’s mother’s yellow DeSoto. It was a white Cadillac. And she made the mistake of looking up long enough to note the row of guys in the back seat and make eye contact with Elvis as he parked.
Fuck, Bess muttered to herself staring back into her book, unable to focus her eyes on any of the words. In her periphery, she watched Elvis jump out and race around the front of his car, loosely putting his arm around a giddy, smiling Kay as he walked her up the path to the front porch. 
Bess took a deep breath, accepting that there was nothing she could do, that she was stuck out here with her hair in a messy bun wearing a house dress and slippers. So, she braced herself and stood to confront the most famous man in the world. 
The cool night air was no comfort to the heated temper rising in her chest as Elvis walked up the stairs in front of her, his fingers now spread over Kay’s shoulder. His eyes narrowed, and a smirk played over his face.
“Hellooooo there Bess, ain’t you sweet, coming out here to greet me.”
“Hmmmm.” Bess nodded, curtly, exhaling at Kay’s sheepish grin.
“Well, I enjoyed our date tonight, Kitty Kat, didju?” He gave Kay’s shoulder a rub and Kay laughed nervously at his nickname, glancing back at Bess as she untangled herself from Elvis’ grip.
“Oh, well, it was a gas to meet you and the whole gang,” Kay made a show of waving at the car, “Tell Rex thanks for the Coke and candy.”
Elvis ran his hand through his hair.“Uh, well, I wudda bought you all the Cokes you wanted, I just -”
Bess interrupted him. “Let me guess, you forgot your wallet?”
 “Yeah, guess that’s happened before.” Elvis chuckled. 
“Ahem, Kitty Kat is it?” Bess raised her eyes at her sister. “Probably time you were in bed, little girl. I have a few words I need to have with your date, here.”
Kay coughed and avoided Bess’ intense look of death as she thanked Elvis for a fun night. He grabbed her hand, making eye contact with Bess over Kay’s shoulder and he hugged her sister and gave her a soft peck on the cheek. Kay hung in his embrace for several beats, then scuttled away to leave Elvis with Bess’s cool stare
“You have some nerve.”
Elvis took a step toward her, “Aw, Bess, now see, when you act like this it makes me think you still like me.”
“Is that ri-ight?” Her voice wavered as he took a step toward her with his shoulders back, head forward, rubbing the back of his neck. She stumbled back a few steps, distracted by the way his eyes pierced her from under his eyebrows.
“See, you actin’ like ya jealous, honey. But you ain’t playin’ fair.“
“Really. I don’t play fair?”
“Uh uh.��� Now he was hovering over her, backing her into the front of the house, his lower lip hanging open as he leaned over her. “You play hot one day, then cool the next. Won’t take my calls, but now ya jealous. Playin’ games s’what it is, and I can’t stand chicks who play games.”
“Ha!” Bess had meant her declaration to be a lot more forceful than how it came out as a muffled breath into the dark, red fisherman’s sweater Elvis was wearing. Of course! Of course his sweater was red. It sucked all Bess’ strength right out of her. And her resolve. She tried for dear life to hang on to the painful embarrassment that had punched her in the gut when she met Anita.
“You’re - you’re - you had - you’re the one who -”
Elvis’ hand was at her waist, and his thumb pressed over her belly button.
“Sshhh. I know, I missed our date.”
Bess mumbled toward her shoes. “Well, I wouldn’t call a party in a cheap motel room a date by any me-“
Elvis’ pursed his lips in a grin as he brought his other hand to Bess’ cheek, his eyes gleaming as she shivered in him. He tilted her chin to meet his eyes. Bess tried to shake him off, but couldn’t, she was spellbound by the pair of dark blue eyes above her. 
She reminded herself that there was an audience of grown men watching them from his back seat. Then she thought she saw the curtain at the front window ripple and realized Kay was probably leaning against the wall inside, spying on them. She thought about how Elvis had invited her sister out, at the very least to get her attention, or at worst, to make her jealous. She thought about how she had sworn to her best friend hours ago that she never wanted to see Elvis Presley again. She tried to grasp at all these things and more as Elvis stepped closer to her, and shifted his arm over her against the wall. But suddenly thinking was very difficult. Elvis’ thumb circled the button at the waist of her cotton house dress.
“OK, ok,well, when you say it like that, sounds awful. Definitely weren’t no date. Still, Kitty Kat told me how upset you’ve been. And I know I shudda called you.” Elvis took a deep breath, and coughed. “ And, well, that gal came down and surprised the hell outta me, is what happened. I didn’t invite her, now that’s the god’s honest truth. But, well, put me in an awful bind and I couldn’t get away to call you. Wudda much rather spent the weekend with you, Moo Moo.”
His breath was warm on her neck, and the way he murmured her nickname was like a sultry saxophone solo. Bess closed her eyes as it rolled over her body, giving her goosebumps. His whisper was full of vulnerable need and Bess couldn’t believe that she actually felt bad for him, as if she were to blame for everything.
“I - I - I’m sorry.”
“Nah, honey, I reckon, if I’m honest with ma self,  you have every right to be sore at me. But you havta give a man the chance to defend hisself. Tell me now, don’t a man deserve a chance to splain?”
There was his thumb, gliding over the front of her stomach, rubbing back and forth.
“Really, I wasn’t trying to play games.”
“I know, Moo Moo. I know’d you weren’t really like that, else I wouldn’t be here.” He leaned in, pressing his open lips to the corner of her jaw, soft and delicate as he continued his whispers. “Though I don’t know if I could stay away even if you were the devil, baby. Ain’t been able to stop thinking about you.” His mouth was warm on her neck. “You, and only you.”
His touch sent a wave of feverish heat through her body, and Bess didn’t care if he was lying, all she knew was that she would willingly go back to his motel room with him right now in her flimsy white house slippers and all. However, before she could make that suggestion, she heard the front door open and she jumped up instantly, pushing Elvis away at the sight of her father’s silhouette in the dim porch light.
“Elizabeth, it’s cold out tonight. Why don’t you invite your guest inside?”
Bess swallowed hard, glancing up at Elvis, whose cool demeanor and friendly smile belied the fingers she could see tapping against his thigh through his pocket. She looked out at the car, then up at the dark sky, shaking her head to herself.
“ Hi Papa, this is, uh - ”
Elvis stood up straight and jerked his hand out as he strode to shake her father’s hand.
“Uh, good evening, Sir, I’m Elvis, Elvis Presley.”
“Yes, I’ve been expecting to meet you for some time now.” Bess’ mouth dropped open. Before she could find the words to protest, her father was putting his arm around Elvis and guiding him inside. “I understand you and Ilsa have been spending a lot of time together, jah?”
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“Can I pour you a whiskey?” The table lamp flickered as Bess’ father walked by, his calm words trailed behind him on his way to the bar. 
Elvis sat at the edge of the couch patting his hand to a silent rhythm and then bouncing up again to pace over to the hi-fi set.
“Naw, jus a Pepsi - or a Big Red, honey.” Bess glared at him as he looked up at her from where he perched in front of the record player. “Bessie. I mean, Eliz-a-bess.”
Bess frowned as Elvis popped open the concealed door in the sound system’s speakers and proceeded to rifle through her father’s LP collection. Her father arched his eyebrow, muttering in German that the boy seemed to know his way around and feel quite at home, jah? Bess was asking Rex and Lamar what they wanted when Mama floated into the living room, swaying the skirt of her red dress back and forth, a dreamy look in her face. Bess froze, looking around the room, then scuttling over to her mother and latching her arm around Mama’s waist, whispering in her ear.
“Mama - Hi Mama, I thought you went upstairs to relax?”
The boys all stood up as Mama patted Bess on the shoulder. “Bess, you’re making the lamps all buzzy, stop buzzing around and introduce me to your friends.”
Bess sighed and then froze when Elvis walked over and took her mother’s hand, kissing the top.
“Evening, ma’am, I’m Elvis, Elvis Presley, s’a pleasure to meet you, I can see where your daughters get their good looks from, if you don’t mind me saying so.”
Mama giggled and blushed. “Ha, well, you are charming. The faeries told me Bessie had a new beau, but they didn’t say he was handsome.” Bess’ face went white as she tried to guide her mother to the big orange leather chair in the corner, but Mama swatted her hands away. “Bess, I said to quit fussin’. Go get our guests something to drink.”
Every cell in Bess’ body was on high alert, and she rubbed at her throat trying quell the nauseous, tight feeling that now plagued her stomach. Bess had not brought Ben, her former fiancee, home to meet her family until he had asked her to marry him. At that point, they had already been going steady for two months, she had trusted Ben completely and had given him a thorough debriefing on Mama and the family dynamics. She had known Elvis a month. ANd spent the last two weeks hating him.
Elvis returned her mother’s hand and flashed Bess a warm, crooked reassuring smile. Rex and Lamar gathered next to him making their awkward introductions, before Papa walked over and offered Mama his hand, tilting his head at Kay. 
“Come sit with me, Emily, let the boys relax. Katherine, you get the drinks.”
Bess followed Kay into the hall. “I’ll get it, Kay, I -uh - I was gonna make Mama a special cup of tea - “
“I got it, I know how to do it. You go back in there.” Kay winked, and left Bess to sigh as she took a deep breath and resigned herself to face whatever was waiting for her in the living room.
Elvis sat on the edge of the couch trying to stop his knee from bopping up and down with the palm of his hand, already in conversation with Bess’ father.
“Jah, I started off in the German division, but now I oversee all intelligence training.”
Elvis’ eyes widened and he seemed grateful to see Bess walk back into the room and hit Lamar to clear the seat next to him on the couch. Bess shook her head and sat at the piano bench, trying to think of how to change the subject.
“Papa, I imagine the boys are tired after a long week and - “
“Oh Bessie, don’t send them away!” Mama waved her off as she got up and happily plopped into the clear spot next to Lamar, shooting Bess a playful frown. “You never bring friends over any more, it’s a breath of fresh air having young people over. Want any leftover tuna noodle casserole?”
A momentary grimace passed over Elvis’ face as he declined, and Bess' father coughed.
“Too bad we don’t have any meatloaf, perhaps zat would have suited you better.”
“Actually, mister, I’m bout plumb fed up with meatloaf, EP’s been ordering - “ Lamar stopped talking at the sight of Elvis’ eyebrow, arched in warning. 
“Well, Bess makes a great meatloaf, you boys will have to come back for dinner sometime. I’ll get her to cook it up for you.” Mama bowed her head with certainty as she spoke, turning Elvis’ hand over in her lap as if to read his fortune. “Elvis, such an unusual name. What does it mean?”
“Ugh, well, ma’am.” Elvis scooted back against the arm rest, turning in to face Bess’ mother more directly. “I have been told it means someone who is uh, very wise.” He winked over at Bess as she rolled her eyes. Kay returned, and she bounced up to assist in handing out the drinks. 
“I’ve never heard the name Elvis before tonight, is it common where you’re from?”
Lamar gasped. “You never heard ‘a Elvis?”
“No, why, should I? Do you all work with Henry in Intel?” 
Elvis shook his head. “No, no ma’am, Rexadus here and I, well, we’re new recruits, and Lamar right here is jus’ a ole friend of mine, visiting.”
Mama smiled big. “Oh, well, if you think I would have heard of you from Bess, you have another thing coming. She’s a sphinx, that one, never tells me anything about anything.I have to get all my gossip from the wind.”
“Elvis is a famous performer, mama. They’re surprised you’ve never heard of him because he is on the radio. And the movies.”
“Oh, is that true? Would I know any of your music?”
Just then, the phone in Papa’s office began to ring and he stood up to excuse himself, muttering in German that he would hardly call it music. Bess exhaled a chuckle at the curious look on Elvis’ face. 
“I’m guessing that weren’t a rousin’ endorsement from ya daddy,huh ?”
She shook her head, and Mama clucked.
“Oh, Henry didn’t get enough red food tonight, don’t mind him. You know, you’re not the first song and dance man I’ve met. When I was a girl - “
“-I met Eddie Cantor when he sang at Zeyde’s theatre on Coney Island.” Bess and Kay exclaimed in unison with a grin.
Bess relaxed as the room filled with warm laughter and she almost felt like they were a normal family, teasing and chiding each other as they entertained guests.
“Oy, well, it’s true, you boys have heard of Eddie Cantor, haven’t you?” Mama grinned at their nods, and took it as her cue to keep talking between sips of tea. “Well, I was just a kid when he was first making it big in New York. And my father had this vaudeville theater, and we met all sorts of acts working their way up the circuit. Baby Rose Marie, Bert WIlliams, Jimmy Durante, and, of course, a lot of nobodies trying to be somebodies. Eddie was probably the most successful guy to come through our place. Boy, was he handsome! Tall, dark hair, those big gorgeous eyes, like two rounds of chocolate.”
“Mama, zey ton nisht veln tsu hern vegn deyn shule meydl krashiz.”
“Oh, Bess thinks I shouldn’t share these things. She thinks I’m an old lady, that I don’t have blood pulsing in my veins. But I’ve always appreciated a good looking man.” Mama patted Elvis' knee. “Still do.” Then all of a sudden she swayed into Elvis' shoulder, her eyelids fluttering before she slumped on his shoulder.
“Ma’am? Ya ok? I’ve had girls swoon before, though they usually heard a me.”
Bess jumped up and looked over at her sister. “How much did you put in her tea, Kay?”
“Just a tablespoon.”
“It’s supposed to be a teaspoon!” Bess growled through clenched teeth as she felt her mother’s pulse, and tried to unfurl her mother’s arm from around Elvis’ shoulder.
“I’ll take her up - “
“Aw, honey - s’ok, want me to - “
“ - Well, it was an easy mistake.” Kay hovered behind Bess, and stomped her foot.
Mama’s eyelids fluttered back open for a moment and she looked up into Elvis' face. “You know, you have a beautiful aura, Alvis, I can tell you are a good person - Bess, if you don’t marry him, I will.” 
Bess gulped, and looked at Kay. “Help me get her up the stairs?”
Before they could do anything, Elvis lifted Mama and nodded at Bess. “Jus lead the way, ‘k Bess honey? Boys, y’all go on out to the car, and we’ll get outta ya hair ‘fore you say lickety splickety.” 
Lamar sighed with relief and could not get through the hallway fast enough, almost knocking the telephone off the little desk as he passed. Rex, however, hung back, gathering up the bottles of pop and taking them to the kitchen behind Kay, looking back to nod at Elvis in a silent offer to help. Elvis shook his head and followed Bess up the stairs.
“Alright, now, Mrs. Schwartz, ma’am, ya gonna be snug as a bug in a rug, jus you wait.”
Elvis set Mama down in her bed carefully, gently taking her hands and placing them at her sides. Mama opened her eyes and trailed her fingers over the sharp edge of Elvis' crew cut, smiling dreamily as she asked “Almond” if he would marry her.
“Ya so sweet and beautiful, I would, I would  if I could, ma’am.”
Tears welled up behind Bess’ eyes as she watched the tender way Elvis kissed her mother’s cheek and squeezed her hand before she passed out. They exchanged a long look, and Bess blushed.
“I’m sorry you had to see all this, I’m so embarrassed. You didn’t have to stay and help me - “
Elvis rubbed her shoulder. “Honey, I wanted to help, I like helping folks. Ain’t nuthin to be shamed of. Really Moo Moo, wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to. An getting to spend my night with the prettiest lil gal in town, why, that’s just the icing on the cake.” His face scrunched into a big grin as he held her, and bess nodded into the comfy wook of his red sweater.
Elvis stood in the doorway, watching curiously as Bess took off her mother’s shoes and tucked her under the large, homemade victory quilt that they had sewn from old clothes during the war. It was the only blanket Mama would sleep with, and for Bess, it evoked that time in her childhood when Papa was overseas doing things he couldn’t talk about and Mama was the strongest woman she could imagine. 
Now, as she looked down at her mother and smoothed hair out of her face, it was Mama who resembled a little girl, finally relaxed and at ease as she started to snore. Her sleeping face free from the cares and mysteries of the world. Bess kissed her mother on the forehead, and turned to find Elvis waiting for her in the doorway. His blue eyes seemed to penetrate her soul, as his thumb rubbed the side of her shoulder.
“Holdin’ it all together, ain’t ya Moo Moo. I see you. I really do.” 
Bess shuddered at his touch, wiping the side of her eyes.
“I, um, I. Well, you caught us on a bad night, Almond.”
He chuckled, drawing her into his arms and kissing the top of her forehead.
“Nah, ain’t nothing bad about anything.” The sides of his crinkled as he smirked. “Almond, huh. maybe ya mama there is on to sumpin. Might sell more records and movie tickets if I changed my name to Almond instead. Tell you what, wudda made it harder for the Army to find me.”
“Yes.” She took his hand and led him back down the stairs.”Though you would have missed out on your freel vacation here at beautiful Fort Hood.” 
They were back on her porch, and Elvis was clasping her hand tight. He looked out at the darkness, and at his car on the street, then over the garden, before turning back to hover over Bess, hands resting at her waist.
“Wudda missed out on meeting you, honey. Ya my silver lining. Tonight, being here with you, I know it now for certain that fate brought us together.”
Bess turned her head to listen to the crickets, wondering if they had any advice on how to defy fate. Especially when fate distracted you from all common sense by nuzzling your forehead. 
“Elvis - I - “
His lips were at her ear as he drew her closer. “Aw, Moo Moo, I cain’t bear to think I made you cry. I mean it.” His thumbs rolled up and down Bess’ sides. ”I promise, ain’t ever let that happen again. I swear. Cuz I need ya, honey, been thinking ‘bout you all the time.”
Bess couldn’t resist the way his eyes lit up with hopeful vulnerability, it made her feel like she was the one who had wronged him by withdrawing her company from him. 
“I  - I think about you too.” She cupped his cheek. “I’ve seen you doing laps every evening, are you doing okay?”
Elvis huffed and pinched her side. “Oh, yeah, you know me. Every morning, those drill sergeants find a reason to be cross at me, makin’ me do extra PT. But ain’t nothin I can’t handle.”
Bess nodded. Then Elvis’ hands tightened all the way around her, constricting her so tight she almost couldn’t breath, before parting with a soft, chaste farewell kiss and a vague promise to call her the next day.
Bess was humming to herself as she turned off the porch light and locked the door behind her, stopping short when she saw her father come out of his office.
“Everything ok, Papa?’
“Jah, jah. That was just the secure line, a call from D.C.” He straightened his sweater, coughing as he took in the dim quiet of their house. “Ze hound dog has run off, I take it?”
“He’s not so bad, you know.” Bess shifted and looked at her feet, unable to stop the smile at the corner of her mouth. “The drill sergeants have really had it out for him this last week. He’s been running extra PT and they put him on latrine duty. Must have pissed off the wrong person.”
Bess stopped talking, noticing that her father’s face had soured into a tight grimace. She had probably been right not to tell her parents that she had been seeing Elvis. This would be tough, now there was nothing she could do now.
“Jah, that boy did piss off the wrong person. Me. You would be wise to cut your ties with him, Elizabeth, he does not respect women. And you have a bright future ahead of you. I might expect Katherine to be dazzled by this flash of Memphis. But you are too smart for all that. I would hate to see you lose focus on your goals to run around with a boy who brings his hoochie coochie girlfriends to town and flaunts them in your face.” 
Bess was silent as her father pursed his lips, nodding, then said good night. She listened to the sound of his footsteps as he walked up stairs, her mind racing as she tried to figure out how he had found out about Elvis. About the debacle with Anita. About all of it. 
The disappointment she had seen in her father’s eyes crushed her, and Bess tossed and turned in her bed all night trying to figure out how she could make him understand that she could have fun and still go after her goals. It was the thought of Elvis’ long thumbs caressing her body that finally calmed her down. The memory of his touch was like her own personal dose of benzodiazepine, it made her forget all her problems and give herself over to the sandman.
********************************************************************
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starmapz · 3 months ago
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Your writing is amazing. I'm in love with the college! sukuna series you're working on! Can I ask how you got into writing/how your writing process goes? I really wanna get into writing but I struggle with outlining plots and just like to write and make up the story as it comes to my mind 😭🫶🏽
hiiiii love!! this is so sweet thank you sm <33 i'm so glad to hear you're loving college!kuna because i'm loving writing for it 🥹
you are absolutely more than welcome to ask! so i've been writing for about 12 years now but haven't published anything until recently but i've always enjoyed it. i don't think i ever finished any of my pieces until recently either bc i struggled with outlines and completing things.
i think what helped me the most personally to get past that blockade is that i got into writing for jjk specifically around the same time as a close friend got into writing for another fandom so we beta one another's work and bounce ideas past each other as well, bless her
as for my process itself, i think i actually have a fairly messy process tbh? most of my inspiration comes from music but the majority of fleshing out those ideas comes from the fact that i daydream more than the average person probably should LOL. my mind is just constantly writing the next scene.
i also physically can't write scenes in advance bc if i do i won't write the scenes i'm less inspired for that come before what i've already gotten down, so i write in the order that you all are reading it. i do have notes/planning docs with basic outlines of what i'd like in each chapter but it's genuinely just the word vomit i've sent to my beta reader. it's messy and totally not concrete and i don't stick by it if i feel what i've got planned isn't/won't work.
another thing that i find works well for me is that i actually really enjoy the editing process so if i'm not fully happy with a scene but i'm having a bit of a block, i'll move along if it's at least complete enough to call it 'done', then go back during editing once i've had some time to think it over. i know a lot of people don't like editing, so this may not work for everyone, but taking a step back and thinking things over can always be a good strategy.
my best pieces of advice would be these: - just start writing and see what happens, bc honestly even my work from like 8 months ago or so when i first started this blog i sometimes read again and i can see my improvement and it makes me proud of where i've come from. - if you have an idea, even if it's the middle of the night, open your phone and jot down a note. it's saved so many of my ideas from disappearing into nothing. - read lots! i think the fact that i read a lot of fics alongside writing them has helped me improve as well, bc i try to learn new words/styles from other writers. i find my older writing used to be a lot more rigid, like i wasn't willing to use capitals or multiple exclamation marks to signify yelling, but at the end of the day i realized i like when others do that, so why shouldn't i? i enjoy more casual prose as it feels more realistic at times, so i've adapted that into my writing as well. by knowing what you like to read, you can figure out more how you like to write. - lastly, don't overthink things! remember, if you enjoy what you wrote, others will too. write for yourself and do what you love :)
tysm for all the love, i hope this helps even a little bit <33 sorry for the word vomit LOL and i hope you have a great day/night bb!
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fentyjjk · 2 years ago
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chapters 1 | 2
pairing jungkook x fem reader
genre angst, heartbreak, cheating
synopsis your relationship with jungkook had been dying for a while. for the last year of your five year relationship you two had all but floated around each other but after you catch him cheating that's the final straw.
warnings jungkook is a bit of an ass, angsty, smut, y/n and jungkook are a mess, messy breakups, little bit of violence, cheating, guns, yoongiisheretoo
read me hello! this is my first angsty type of writing that i'm publishing hope you enjoy !!
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The clock above your office door ticked slowly as if taunting you like the inanimate object was ticking away at the amount of time you could avoid going home to him. Jungkook, your boyfriend of five years. It wasn't that you didn't love him, no, you do. It's not that you wanted someone else either (and even if you did you and Jungkook weren't shy of threesomes) it was simply the way you felt in his presence at moments. Bored was the word that felt most suitable at times when you two weren't having sex.
Compared to any other relationship out there you're not going to feel butterflies and giddy when you come around that special person in your life all the time, but this wasn't just that non-giddy feeling or not feeling the butterflies this was you and Jungkook living around each other; occupying the same space, but being so far away.
To say the least your love is dying out— if not dead already— and neither of you have the courage to put the nail in the coffin.
You watched the clock and as it hit 7:30 you gathered your things, you tried to cheer yourself up as you left as you thought on the next upcoming days. In a few days you and Jungkook will have been together for six years. A long time, yes, but not a happy time. He hadn't proposed yet which is a frequent irritation to you seeing as those your other friends were engaged, married, even having fucking kids and they seem genuinely happy together. On top of that, they were together for a significantly less amount of time than you and Jungkook are now before they're significant others' popped the big question!
Some of your friends picked up on your feelings towards your relationship pretty early on. They could tell that that you weren't satisfied and nor was Jungkook. Your perfect happy unmarried couple facade could only last for so long. The jokes they made didn't help either. Jokes about how unhappy you seem, jokes about how Jungkook is probably cheating on you and that bitch Hana. She was your roommate in college who still has a stick up her ass because you're the one Jungkook has been with from college up until now. It still brings discomfort to you when you think of what she said to you at your birthday party.
"Jungkook said he still has something planned for later on tonight…" You told your group of girlfriends as you'd all settled around the coffee table in the middle of your apartment.
"How exciting!" Nayeon squeaked seemingly more thrilled than you'd been the entire night. "He's so thoughtful."
"Yeah I know.." You look over at him, he's standing with a few of your mutual friends next to that touchy bitch, Jiyeon. He's barely spoken to you unless the two of you are in front of friends playing up the happy couple act. "Another night of missionary…" you mumble to yourself but the array of laughter from your friends let's you know they heard you clearly.
Hana laughed the hardest at the snarky comment the beer she had held up to her red lips dripping through the edges of her mouth as she slurred into your ear, "if you don't want him I'll take him he seems pretty big." She only laughed more at the presumed look of disgust on your face saying she was joking after you pushed her onto the couch and walked off.
She was right he is big though and that's what was saving you guys, your sex.
No one could really give it to you as good as he does. Your threesomes proved as much.
Guys would be fucking you and Jungkook wouldn't even be touching you just watching while he jerked himself off staring at you making you feel hot and sexy all for him and you'd fall apart. The guys could never really get you there on their own. You needed him, you'd become accustomed to just him in bed. The attraction paired with how good he and you are in bed kept you two together.
To put it simply; sex spiced up the boring.
Which is why you had an idea, maybe you guys needed something more. Not marriage, no, Jungkook said he'd propose when he was ready, you needed something sexually anew. You'd had orgies, threesomes, used handcuffs, chains, ropes, choking, done all the vanilla shit, nothing hasn't been tried, but maybe you need something more daring sex is also becoming a part of your boring routine despite how good it is, you need a little more fire.
You'd gotten home to the TV blaring from the front room the smell of something delicious hitting your nostrils as you set your bag down and took your shoes off. You hang your coat on the rack just as Jungkook comes into view.
"How was work?"
"Good, what're you cooking?"
"I just finished actually, it's rice and some lamb skewers your plates on the counter." You smile, pressing a kiss to his cheek in thanks before walking past him to finally eat, you're starving to be honest.
"I had an idea," you say as you pop some rice in your mouth. His cooking never fails to amaze you, now is no different.
He joins you by the counter, his hand rubbing your thigh, his phone in the other, "I'm listening."
"I want to go out to eat—somewhere nice and pristine and… expensive." Jungkook looks over at you denial heavy on his tongue, with both of your payrolls, anything expensive, not just restaurants, is not a norm, they are a very rare luxury.
"Y/N-" you cup his cheek, the soft gesture which you hadn't done in months stuns him into silence.
"Just this once, okay? It'll be a nice night for us and I'll pay." You smile softly kissing his lips which taste of lamb skewers.
"Fine, but I'm paying and making the reservations." Maybe the butterflies were still there because his gentleness never failed to make your heart flutter.
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You'd both gone to Choi's Restaurant, one of the most high end restaurants in Seoul and among the most expensive. How Jungkook managed to get a reservation still stuns you, but you take it for what it is. You marvel at the plain, but luxurious looking room as you're guided to a more secluded space by a waiter. A gold grand piano is placed in the middle of the tables where a man in a tuxedo played soft melodies as people ate, giving the place a cozier feel as does the white, brown, and gold hues do. The glimmering chandelier above almost made you stop in your tracks, how the hell did Jungkook pay for this?
Once seated near the back, away from most of the people who no doubt frequented the restaurant, you two ordered and talked over the amazing interior of the place and how expensive it looked which led to Jungkook commenting on how well you fit here. His eyes shone sadly. He's thinking about all those years ago.
When you and Jungkook first started dating you'd told him you got a job opportunity in the US and told him you'd wanted to move to pursue it. The job in question offered a lot more money than where you were working at the time, plus you'd finally be able to get away from the mumbled remarks of those at your job about your darker skin color and people touching your hair unprovoked. And even though he didn't openly say it, it was evident to you that he was making you choose and that if you left your relationship would end.
You chose Jungkook and stayed in South Korea.
The only reason he didn't want to go to the US wasn't because of his English—which he knew fluently—but because in his words he 'was going to become a promising idol.' For months you'd sat and waited for him to debut, giving up your dreams so he could pursue his own only for his group to make a one hit wonder and be forgotten about years later.
"Hey," you grab his hand across the table meeting his eyes, "it's okay, and you look amazing too." He smiles caressing the back of your hand, he lifts it kissing your palm softly. Now it's time. "Really sexy.. if I were bold enough I'd probably suck you off under the table." The wine he was sipping gets caught in his throat as he coughs. You giggle watching him splutter before you.
"W-what?"
"What? You don't want me to give you head here? In front of all these fancy people?" Your eyes leave his to scan the people eating away unaware that you were mere seconds from dropping to your knees and making it difficult for Jungkook to contain himself.
"Baby- fu- don't do that…'' his voice strained when you lifted your leg underneath the table pressing your heel to his crotch. You pull back when he tells you to, but you feel him grab your ankle almost yanking you forward when he forces you to press against his growing bulge firmer. "fuck," he shifts moving forward so his forearm presses against the table making it easier for you to move your foot against him.
"Aw, bun, you getting horny?" His eyes met yours. He seemed like he was losing it, the lust and panic in his eyes evident as the door to the restaurant opened and a group of people walked in reminding him and you that you two are in public that only further bestowed you.
You moved your foot down pressing the heel to his balls he yelped, digging his nails into the flesh of your ankle, hard. You chuckled, rubbing the area gently with the padding of your shoe.
This is so filthy you're turning him on with your shoe. It should make you feel disgusted, but it doesn't plus you'd rarely ever see Jungkook be this submissive and needy. It did something to you. The waiter came to your table and Jungkook composed himself fairly quickly although you feel the way he subtly pushes into your foot guiding you up and down his clothed length by his grip on your ankle, tightening his hold on your hand above the table.
When the food arrives you're still teasing him beneath the table and as soon as the waiter is out of sight you slide beneath the table under the cloth that covers you. You, with the help of Jungkook, undo his belt buckle, unzipping his dress pants slowly. He truly did look good tonight. It's a shame that you marked his pants with your heels but you'd make it up to him, right now. His boxers strain against his cock. You can feel him twitching in your hands when you grip him. The quiet curse slipping from his lips makes you grin satisfied that he's enjoying himself.
When you take him out of his underwear the angry red tip stares back at you shiny with precum. You waste no time sucking his tip into your mouth, almost crying out when he thrusted forward filling your mouth and the beginning of your throat without warning. You repress the urge to pull away, bobbing your head slowly just the way he likes it trying not to cough at the unexpected movement.
His coat covers the light that's coming through the tablecloth, his hands finding your newly redone box braids shortly there after. He barely moved his hips as to not draw attention to himself, but you do feel his restraint by the grip he has on your hair. It burns so well.
The thought of someone catching you two in this obscene action makes you throb in the sheer underwear your wearing. You pull off of him, his spit slicked length hitting your lips as he tries to push you back on him, you grab his wrist making him stop, "I'm going to hump your leg," you rasp, "is that okay?"
"Yes, fuck, yes please do, use me." He says in a breathless whisper, you smile lifting the ends of your clad green dress to your hips. Rubbing your throbbing clit you tease yourself a bit as you sit on his dress shoe, he moves his leg forward his calf pressing against your cunt you almost moan as he moves his leg against you. The friction is too good and you can't stop grinding into the delicious relief but it's about him too, you remind yourself.
You lean against him sucking his balls into your mouth as you glide your hand up and down his veiny girth quickly; anyone would hear the squelching sound if they came close enough but you're too far gone to care. You take him into your mouth again, paying extra attention to his tip as small beads of cum begin to squirt out.
"Wa-wait, Y/N–baby, I'm going to c-cum.." he tries to push you away by your braids but you take him down your throat the groan that leaves his mouth soon thereafter lets you know he's coming soon…
And he does right down your throat. Like the good girlfriend you are, you swallow licking his slit, milking him. You hear the mumbled curses and your name and press against his calf harder. You lean back staring at his twitching length as you bring yourself over the edge as well with your fingers. You moan a little too loudly, but Jungkook is too caught up in his post orgasmic state to say anything so you assume it's fine. You crawl back to your side of the table quickly wiping the corners of your mouth suckling the little remnants of cum from your nail before reaching for the white tablecloth about to come back up before you hear footsteps and stay put.
"Hello," you hear a man greet Jungkook.
"Hi-"
"I'm the owner of Choi's, Yeonjun," you see Jungkook lean forward and assume they are shaking hands. He's shaking hands with the owner of the restaurant you just gave your boyfriend oral in... What the fuck. "How do you like the food?"
"I-it's goo-"
"Really? I mean considering the fact that you've barely touched it and have instead chosen to let your girlfriend give you head here instead of eating it seems to me that you're lying." Fuck. Jungkook says nothing for a while.
"I'm sorry?" Jungkook squeaks in attempts to feign confusion.
"I would hope you are. Not only is this a health violation, it's also illegal, you know public indecency? I am asking you kindly to leave my restaurant as soon as possible."
"Are we banned?" You say meekly from below the table.
"No. I didn't say I didn't enjoy the little act of voyeurism." You hear the playful tone of voice before the sound of descending footsteps resounds.
Later in that night you and Jungkook went at it again and again, this was probably the most passionate sex you've had in ages.
After you've worn each other out, you lay there in bed, phone in hand as Jungkook holds you from behind. Something as mundane as cuddling fills you with all kinds of joy and love, you can't even remember the last time you've done that without being in the presence of friends. Your heart was filled as he clung to you when you tried to leave for the bathroom, mumbling something about not letting you go.
Maybe things weren't so bad after all.
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Things had been going well. Who knew a little voyeurism could really add to your relationship? You and Jungkook were beyond happy.
Jungkook's group even had a comeback scheduled for next month which according to their company would really thrust them back into the spotlight. As weird as it was, giving head to Jungkook made the world a little brighter.
Or so you thought.
You'd picked up an extra shift at work taking up for Ryunjin who had to watch her two year old after her child's father bailed at the last minute. You didn't mind plus the extra money meant you could maybe go to another luxurious restaurant with Jungkook or maybe you two could go back to Choi's..
Your shift ended earlier than usual due to there being a fire that had started in the building next to yours. You wasted no time packing your belongings ready to go home to a cooked meal by your beloved boyfriend which had become routine since that night at Choi's.
You felt happy and ecstatic even as you stepped through the threshold of your apartment not to be greeted by your boyfriend which was typical before that night although it felt a little odd now. Usually he was scrambling to make dinner or just finishing it up, instead the tv greets you from the living room.
You take off your shoes and then your coat calling out your boyfriend's name against the obscenely loud noise from the living room TV. You get nothing in response and travel further into your home. There on the kitchen counter are two plates and two wine glasses one has lipstick remnants on it, below that on the floor there's heels, next to that is a pair of black lace panties, next to that there's a shirt, Jungkook's LV shirt. It's like a trail and even though you know all too well what you're walking into as you follow the trail of clothing to your bedroom you don't hesitate nor falter in your steps, however, when you reach your bedroom door your hand hesitates on the knob.
What if… what if you just leave? What if the sounds of moans coming from the room are just Jungkook watching porn? But if that's the case, why did he purposely turn up the volume so loudly on the living room TV? Like he intended to drown out the sounds of sex?
You open the door just a bit so a slither of light coming from the room spills out into the hall along with the now non-door-restricted moans from the girl on top of him, "Daddy!" Your cringe internally you know Jungkook didn't have a thing for being called 'daddy' and you can't believe he was desperate enough to go for someone with a kink he doesn't fancy. You're not sad, not yet, you're observing.
The girl on top of him is different from you in every form of the word. She's petite, fair skin, with long black hair that's being tugged down to her back by Jungkook so her neck is exposed to his rough kisses, his arms enclosed around her waist holding her up, as he pounds in and out of her whilst simultaneously slamming her back down and it seems as though the more she slams down onto his thighs, the more skin slapping on skin echoes like a taunting chant in your home, the more Jungkook groans, the more your eyes sting and your throat burns with it.
You can't watch anymore.
You push open the door with a slam. Jungkook's wide eyes fly to the door not expecting you home for a few hours. The girl doesn't look at you immediately, instead settles for trying to cover up her naked body as if that'll erase both of their indecency to you.
See the thing about this girl is you know her.
Jungkook knows her.
You both know her very well.
She's the girl that Jungkook told you to never worry about, Jana, Hana's annoying ass all too friendly twin sister.
She's the girl that gave you your first tattoo and the other thirteen you got after that.
She's also the girl that gave you the rest of your piercings and Jungkook's tattoos. You never hated Hana or Jana until Jungkook was getting a tattoo from her on his thigh. You were there as you were for all of his tattoos prior. The way she settled for sitting on her knees below him as she worked over the chair unsettled you the way she kept looking up at him through her lashes with a hint of a smirk as they talked, disgusted you.
But you always fucking settled.
So when Jungkook had suggested that you have a threesome over dinner for the first time ever in your relationship, you know he was pondering on the idea for longer than you were comfortable with.
Of course it was with her, you felt more upset rather than jealous as he told you who he wanted to have the threesome with he had hinted that he wanted it to be a girl, but you had prayed he wouldn't say her of all people.
Jungkook is attractive and girls flirting with him was never much of an issue to you because he always shut them down almost immediately and chances of them ever seeing him again were very slim. Plus they'd remember him mentioning you.
But with Jana you all saw each other very frequently because Jungkook loves his tattoos and piercings and now that you think about it it might not even be because he wants more tattoos he just wanted an excuse to see Jana without it worrying you.
But after that threesome—which you regretted partaking in so much more afterwards—they became more friendly.
You made up reasonable excuses in your head when you two would go to the parlor and she'd smile at him a bit wider than before, she'd touch him more than she necessarily needed, or when his eyes would linger too long on her ass before he'd look away trying to gauge your reaction through his peripheral to see if he'd been caught, and each time you'd bite your tongue.
You'd thought yeah you'd probably be more touchy with someone too if you had slept with them, but not if said person was in a fucking relationship.
How could you have been so fucking stupid?
Jana doesn't say anything nor does Jungkook for a bit, they just stare at you waiting for you to do something, say something. You stared at the wall for a good minute before looking at the nightstand next to your bed, condom packets peeking through. You should've picked up on that. You’re on birth control Jungkook had no reason to have those unless he was with someone else.
Then finally you looked at them, Jana looked scared, her eyes looking at you with riveting fear. Jungkook looked the same, but he seemed to be bolder than her; he stood picking up his boxers you looked over at him, hickies coated his chest, which is probably why he always insisted on sex in the dark, his dick was shiny with her arousal as he shuffled it in his boxers.
Then, you were pissed.
Red, hot anger washed over you at once Jungkook was still approaching you with slow cautious steps as Jana tried to cover herself with whatever she could find which happened to be his shirt which only pissed you off more. Jungkook was speaking, but you couldn't hear him. Your heart was pounding in your ears so loudly that anything he was saying was falling on deaf ears.
He was maybe five feet away from you when you held out your hand to keep him at a distance. Through a shaky voice you said to the both of them, "I'm not mad." The clear relief that washed over the two of them made you almost reach into your nightstand and grab the gun you and Jungkook keep. But that'd take too much work going back out into the living room, grabbing your purse to get the key to that specific drawer, loading the magazine and choosing who to shoot first, again too much work.
"You're not?" Jana mumbles quietly behind Jungkook's large frame. She really should've stayed quiet because whatever you are using to try and convince yourself that you were calm dissipated at the sound of her high pitched raspy voice one look at the hickies that lead down to his boxers let you know she probably sucked his dick.
"No, Jana, I can't find it in myself to be mad, I'm actually ecstatic."
"Why?" Jungkook asks this time, you look up at him, it hurts again; your chest, your heart, it hurts so much.
"When I get arrested for attempted murder I'll have a real good motive." You smile then so wide that your jaw hurts.
"Bab—" you shove Jungkook, looks like you're going for Jana first.
You grab whatever you think will do the most damage that you can hurl at Jana's perfect little head, it's the lamp on your shared nightstand. You throw it with so much force it indents into the wall when Jana dodges by about an inch the terminal scratches her eye quite nicely before you climb over the bed. You smash her head into the wall with a loud resounding slap her small petite frame falling to the ground as she cries out in pain. Climbing on top of her you grab a hand full of her hair you slamming her head back into the wooden floor of your bedroom. She thrashes below you screaming before trying and failing to pull your hands off her hair and you smile giving her what she wants settling for punching her square in that pretty mouth Jungkook must love oh so much. You land a good few hits to her face before she blacks out and stops screaming and Jungkook is pulling you off.
"Y/N, stop! Stop! Stop!" You struggle in his hold, his broad frame still sweating with their previous activities.
"Get the fuck off me!" You use everything in you to separate yourself from Jungkook, "don't fucking touch me!" You practically run down the hallway to your living room Jungkook following closely behind.
"Where are you going?" He asks as you put on your shoes.
"Away from you."
"You can't leave—"
"I think the best for me to do is leave because if not I put this on everything I love I will actually fucking kill you." He's silent as you gather your things, your words hitting him hard. He realized just then how quickly your love for him turned to dust and is now replaced by a deep hatred.
You unlock the door ready to turn it before his hand closes the door beside your head, "Baby—"
"You know what's funny?" The sadness is back as your throat swells with the need to cry all over again, "I gave up everything for you—"
"I didn't ask you to do that-'' He reprimands, you spin around the tears falling on their own accord upon seeing his disheveled state.
"Don't fucking cut me off," you say sternly. "What's funny is I didn't even want to have that fucking threesome with you and that whore and you didn’t even notice how uncomfortable I was and you should have. But it's my fault I guess because I did it anyway because I didn't want to upset you because I'm always thinking of you! How does Jungkook feel? What would make Jungkook happy? And even now I haven't laid a finger on you, and I really should, and you haven't even apologized yet, you haven't said two simple fucking words 'I'm sorry' or 'it didn't mean anything baby I love you' you don't fucking care about me, us, or our relationship and neither do I, not anymore." You turn back around and open the door it slams closed with more force by Jungkook once again his hand balled into a fist holding the door shut.
"Y/N, you can't just leave," he strains, the pleading tone in his voice clear as he speaks, "not after everything we've been through," he's moving closer to you with more intention. Physical touch has always been a love language for you and Jungkook, but now you abhor it.
"What don't you get? You fucked up! We're done, let me go—"
"I'm sorry, okay? I'm so fucking sorry just please don't leave, I can't be on my own, I need you." He stressed through clenched teeth. It's something about the way he worded it, a thought comes to you then. Jungkook doesn't have a real stable job outside of his failing idol career and working at a minimum wage paying fast food joint which barely supplies rent, he needs you for the money. Maybe that's why he couldn't leave you; he needed you to survive.
You turn around walking closer to him, there's so much rage stirring inside of you it's as if he can feel. Ironically enough he backs up as if he's afraid. Jungkook is broader than you, taller than you, looms over you, and yet he seems scared. You speak with your hands venom tainting every word as you spit, "You are the most self centered selfish person I've ever fucking met in my life, and I fucking hate you, if it wasn't clear enough we're done. I want you and your shit out of my apartment by the time I get off tomorrow."
"Y/N—"
"Do me a favor, shut the fuck up and get out of my life for good." You spin on your heels opening the door only to slam it as you exit. You take the stairs down the multiple floors of your complex knowing damn well that Jungkook would've gone to the elevator to try and stop you.
You're done, for real this time.
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You end up at Lia's house, your best friend for the longest and the one person who told you time and time again that Jungkook wasn't good for you after you told her about your passed up job opportunity and your reason for staying in Korea. You never listened though you never do and look where that led you.
You'd managed to hold it together through the twenty minute drive to her house, but as her partner opens the door groggy and confused he yawns before he asks, "You good—" he barely finishes before you wrap your arms around him, he hesitates before he slowly raises his arms hugging you back. Yoongi was never the best at giving hugs or any form of comfort towards others, but he tries as he pulls you inside cautiously locking the door as he holds you.
"No, she's not here, Jungkook. I told you a thousand times th—" Lia stops speaking to Jungkook on her house phone upon seeing you sobbing into Yoongi's chest in their kitchen. "Look, Yori woke up, I gotta go— No, goodbye, Jungkook!" She ends the call rather abruptly, quickly coming into the kitchen. She takes you into her arms. She doesn't know what happened yet, but she reassures you with ‘its okay’ and ‘let it all out’ as you cry harder. "What's wrong, baby, hm? Talk to me." You try to speak, but end up choking out your words.
"H-he cheated, Lia, h-he ch-cheated on me with that fucking b-bitch oh my God," you fist at her shirt until your bruised knuckles turn white as sobs rack through you like waves.
"Who?" Yoongi asks you to feel Lia shake her head as if to signal to him it wasn't the time to ask.
"J-Jana! That fucking cunt!" Lia's eyes widen as you hug her tighter.
"As much as I want you to express yourself please do it quietly Yori is sleeping," Yoongi mumbles, referring to their two year old.
"Yoongi!" Lia scolds him through gritted teeth.
"What? Baby, I just got her to bed." Yoongi defends.
You pull away from Lia, "I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to burden you I just—"
"Don't say that you're not burdening us, sit on the couch I'll get you some water," Lia says to you, you walk to their living room where baby toys are scattered as Lia makes you a glass of water. You feel ashamed. Coming over to your bestfriends house in a distressed state unannounced is out of character for you, but then again Jungkook never cheated before (to your knowledge) so you never knew how you’d react.
Lia sits with you on the couch while Yoongi stands at the kitchen window awkwardly staring.
She passes you the glass as you mutter thank you. "Why're your hands bleeding, Y/nie?" She calls you your nickname which would normally make you smile, but you're too sad to notice you look down to your bruised hands.
"I beat her ass,'' Yoongi laughs, clapping in approval. Lia turns to him glaring.
"Sorry," He apologizes quickly, clearing his throat he steps into the kitchen doorway, "Imma go.. I'm just gonna go.." Yoongi excuses himself down the hall to their bedroom.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Lia asks softly as if you're fragile.
"Honestly there's not much to talk about, I'm just tired." Lia nods in understanding. You had been there for her when Yoongi cheated back in college, she said the same thing to you; it was exhausting, this is draining. Though you and her ended up in two different places afterward the infidelity. She left him all the same, but years later they reconnected, he'd grown and showed her that he was better - you can't imagine Jungkook trying to do the same.
"Okay well I'll clean up your hands grab you some pj's and you can take a quick shower if you want to and then you can go to bed in the guest room, that sound good?" You nod with a small hum.
You smile, "Thank you, Li."
"Any time." She smiles softly.
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About thirty minutes later, you're situated in the guest bedroom. Lia and Yoongi wishing you a good night a little while ago and then settling into their own bedroom. You try not to think back to Jungkook and what happened which was rather difficult because Jungkook wouldn't stop texting and calling you which resulted in you blocking him. Your eyes finally flutter shut some ten minutes later.
You awake to loud pounding on the front door. Startled, you step out into the hallway and you go to your friend's bedroom. Her baby is sobbing, also seemingly afraid by the loud noise.
"What's going on?" You ask over the loud sobs from Yori.
"We don't know." Yoongi says reaching into their closet he pulls out a gun.
"Baby, is that really necessary?" Lia says through a whisper.
Yoongi shrugs, "You never know." He leaves the two of you to find whoever is at their front door.
You're not as nervous as you were before comforted by the fact that you’re not alone, "You feel better?" Lia asks her tired eyes meeting yours.
"Not really." You admit your heart is still heavy with the fact that this is your reality and that this whole night wasn't some awful nightmare.
"When I'm not on baby duty we can go get drunk somewhere, you and I both need it." You laugh lightly with a small nod as Yori begins to calm down.
"Yeah, that sounds good."
"Jungkook, what the fuck man?" Your wide eyes glance up at Lia's upon hearing your his name.
"Y/N, don't." Lia tries to stop you from leaving the room, but with Yori in her arms there's only so much she can do.
You peek over the edge of the hallway wall to see Jungkook at the back door with Yoongi, Yoongi's gun now being placed on the kitchen counter.
"Is Y/N here?"
"No, man and even if she was that doesn't give you an excuse to come over here pounding on my front door like a mad man scaring my wife and kid at three in the fucking morning. The fuck is wrong with you?" Yoongi spits crossing his arms.
"I just—I know she's here, her car is in the driveway. Just let me speak to her." Jungkook says desperately trying to peer into the house over Yoongi's smaller frame Yoongi pushes him back slightly.
"Look, you gotta go, man to man this ain't the way, like ever, like you should really leave."
"Yoongi, please." Jungkook pleads ignoring Yoongi completely.
"Jungkook, I'm warning you, leave before I call the cops. You're being out of line and I ain't putting my hands on you cause you're in a tough spot right now and I understand that, but you really gotta go."
"Yoongi, I love her, man, she means everything to me I can't let her go."
"You think this is going to help win her back? Seriously?" Jungkook sighs.
"I'm sorry, I… I'll go, can you just tell Y/N to call me back."
"Yeah, I got you." Yoongi closes the door, locking it after he grabs his gun putting the safety back on, he comes towards the hallway jumping after seeing you standing there. "oh fuck, don't scare me like that."
"My bad." You apologize following him down the hallway back to their bedroom.
"Everything all good?" Lia asked, placing Yori back into her crib.
"Yeah, it was just Jungkook, he's being weird." Yoongi replied putting his gun back in its place.
You nibble at your bottom lip feeling an immense amount of guilt for being this chaos to their door step. "I'm really sorry about this." Lia opens her mouth to speak, but Yoongi beats her to it.
"It's fine, Y/N, get some sleep, you need it." You nod, spin around, leave their room and do just that.
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Lia offered to go back with you to your apartment after she got off work, but you denied her offer saying she'd done enough for you last night so here you were driving to your apartment that was leased in your name therefore Jungkook can be kicked out by the police if he's still there when you arrive.
You hesitate to unlock your front door when you reach it. Shaking off your nerves you begin typing in the code. Jungkook should be at work right now. That idea is then erased when the door swings open a distressed Jungkook appearing.
"Y/N," is all he says before he pulls you into his chest. You absolutely abhor how comfortable he is, his strong arms securing you in his hold, the warmth he emits, you can even smell the faint cologne he wears lingering on his skin. It screams home and safety right before it hits you the events of last night flooding back into your mind. You push him off walking further into your apartment. You go into your bedroom to see that Jungkook's clothes are still meshed in with your own in the closet as are his belongings that are usually kept around your shared living space.
"Why is your stuff still here?" You ask without turning around knowing he's right behind you.
"We need to talk." You close your eyes inhaling deeply.
"What is there to talk about?" Jungkook laughs in uncertainty.
"There's a lot to talk about, baby, I love you you can't just give up on us—"
You face him repeatedly pushing your finger into his chest as you snarl, "You gave up on us the second you had sex with her, you ruined this—" he grabs your wrist.
"I didn't ruin shit, Y/N!" He screams at you, his face contorting with rage? Like he has a right to be upset with you. "We all had sex what is the issue?"
"Jungkook, you gotta be fucking joking," you laugh bitterly nodding to yourself. "Okay so you're saying it's not cheating because we all had a threesome, yes?" He hesitates before he nods settling on that argument, "me, you, and Eric had a threesome, if I fucked him without you there would you be okay with that?" It's quick the way his face twists up clearly put off by the idea before he stills his features. "My point exactly."
His mouth opens closing it again as he looks away from you his thumb mindlessly rubbing over the skin of your wrist raising goosebumps, "Have you.. had sex with Eric without me?" He mumbles quietly.
"Yes," his eyebrows draw together, it's comical the way his jaw drops, "in college when me and you weren't together, he even asked me out, but I turned him down because I met you. I knew I should've chosen someone else over you." You say honestly indulging in the way pain flashes in his brown eyes.
"Y/N, I screwed up okay? I admit that, but this was a one time thing I swear—"
"Bullshit! You think I'm dumb, Jungkook? There's no way this was a one time thing why the fuck do you keep condoms if I'm on birth control? Why the hell do you get so many fucking tattoos and insist that I shouldn't come along?" He shakes his head pulling you into him more his grip on your wrist tight.
"Please don't, Y/N, I need you, I love you so fucking much-" you push him away but he only holds you firmly against his chest in a half hug with your arm trapped between your chests.
"Jungkook.." you say tiredly the fight leaving your body as you slump against his chest, "get off me, please." You say softly.
"Y/N, I don't want you to leave."
"Why? What do we offer each other? You literally cheated on me, she obviously gave you something I-I didn't-" you inhale trying to wash away the urge to cry. What did she have that you don’t? Was it her body? Sure you were a little curvy, but so were all Jungkook’s exes you didn’t peg him for being into thinner women and certainly not Jana. She was younger, but that was only by a few years. What the hell could she give him that you didn’t? It couldn’t have been money either since barely anyone goes to her and Hana’s shared tattoo parlor.
"Baby, no, you are perfect the way you are I love everything about you." He stresses kissing the top of your head.
Tears burn your eyes as you blink at him a laugh of pain forcing its way through your throat, "says the cheater." You keep laughing hysterically until it turns to sobs and you're falling to your knees with Jungkook trying to hold you up, cradling you in his big arms, shushing you.
"I'm sorry, baby," he says his voice breaking, "I'm so fucking sorry."
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read me hey so if you couldn't tell i had no clue how to end this but they are broken up im thinking of doing a flashback splurge for the threesome between oc, jungkook, and jana to show how obviously oc didn't want to do it and might even include a little bit of the thigh tattoo scene but that's just an ideaaaaa, thanks for reading !
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moonshine-nightlight · 1 year ago
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2024 Writing - Plans
similar to last year, i wanted to post a little look forward at my plans for writing this year are. the necessary disclaimer: this is 100% high level, optimistic, ideal situation and subject to change but i still like thinking about it and posting for anyone who's interested. see this post for last years!
so, i like separating things out it mini goals/sections so see below:
Nothing's Wrong with Dale: with DSM self-published under my belt, I'd like to focus on the NWWD publishing journey next! The main obstacles/costs are time and money. Hiring an editor and a cover artist are the pricey-est part of the process but my own edit (first to convert everything from 2nd POV to 3rd POV and then another high-level edit/revise once i've got it in the right POV) will take the most time and needs to be done before i hand it over to an editor. Then after the editor takes their time (and NWWD is much longer than DSM), and finally i need to process all of their edits as well. And i need to do all of this while i do my day job lol.
i've already converted the first 11 chapters to 3rd POV (i hav some IRL friends/betas who only read that version, so if u feel like the tumblr version took a lot of time lol). the timing of being able to publish this year will all end up depending on how quickly i can do all that and kick off the part of the process that depends on outside parties. Even if i manage to self-publish in this year, i don't expect it to come out until lik December and even that's ideal, super best case scenario.
Long Stories: I want to outline both A Perfectly Ordinary Research Position and Shadow Diplomacy and then pick one to be the new long story on here. I do what i call a chapter outline and a scene outline, which is confusing to not!me because the scene = a chapter on here. i should probably rename that process lol. (NWWD was 11 'chapters' and 35 'scenes' for reference).
once i pick a project, i just hope to post as many chapters as i can. Since this will be new, long, and likely just building steam, i actually think it'll be my lower priority after the Short Stories and NWWD publishing, but we'll see. i'd like to start putting that up in June, according to my tentative 2024 schedule.
Short Stories: Since i didn't get as many of these done in 2023 and they've been haunting my brain longer, i want to for sure get some of these shorter stories done. learning from last years overestimation lol, i plan to post 3 short stories: Courtship Confusion, Feral, and finish Free Piano: Haunted, in that order. i'm excited about all these stories and will let me cover 3 different types of pairings (although technically all are Reader) which is fun. All have been outlined and have parts and pieces written. I wish Feral and FPH could both happen in the fall but the timing just doesnt work out so summers gonna b a little spooky lol.
The schedule i worked out makes it so all this will be possible, but also basically has no breaks in sunday postings after my haitus which is beyond optimistic but i lik to start overly confident lol
Hiatus: this is also your reminder that my work has a specific Busy Season which honestly started already (lucky me) and i will b beyond busy Jan-March at a minimum. i hav more projects than ever with my promotion, a lot to learn, and a lot to juggle so minimum 6 day work weeks will be the name of the game - but hopefully all goes well and i'll get a nice bonus i can feed directly to my editors lol
anyway, that's where i'm at right now and I'm looking forward to all the exciting writing and publishing to come in 2024!
Feel free to send in any asks about upcoming/current stories!
Thanks again for all your support in 2023 and Happy New Year!
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seaweedbraens · 9 days ago
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Um hello!!! I just realized I’ve never messaged you on tumblr but I’ve decided to rectify that because I’ve been actually obsessed with your writing for 8 years now lol.
I can confidently say you are my favorite fic writer that I’ve ever read. I haven’t read wcwthwas because I’m a grad student and 600k scares me but I WILL eventually and I also haven’t read wreck my plans because I don’t usually read incomplete works HOWEVER I have read every other fic you’ve published multiple times because I’m OBSESSED. I bookmarked heartstrings in April of 2017 and every time I’m in a mood I just pick one of your fics to make me feel better.
Specifically, I’m an absolute whore for soulmate AUs and all of yours are incredible. The way you take a common trope and find multiple ways to create such engaging new plots is breathtaking. Also, don’t you let it go may just be the best percabeth fic I’ve ever read. I have reread it probably 10 times over the last four years.
Essentially, I just want to say that you’re amazing. Your writing has meant so much to me and I have literally grown into adulthood with it and I want to say thank you.
You’re awesome and I am constantly on the edge of my seat waiting to see what you do next <3
helloo!!!!! omg first off THANK YOU — 8 years is insane to me, and even more when i think i've posted...maybe a fic a year? i do not blame you in the slightest for not touching wcwsthwas, that thing scares ME. the other day i was like "hm lemme see if i can actually read it" and i didnt make it further than chapter 2 so. no worries if you don't get to it at all. i was a grad student until last year and i fully understand not having time for literally anything, idk how you find the time to read anything at all!
(sidenote: hopefully you'll be able to read wreck my plans this year because ive finally FINALLY picked it up again but it's me so who knows)
i'm thrilled that you love my soulmate AUs!!! like you said, some of these fics are EIGHT YEARS OLD and i always wonder if they're, like, cringe now, but something about the au is so comforting to me and i don't think i'll ever be able to stop writing it. it warms me up so much to know that you still find comfort in these fics even after so long, that's why i write in the first place!
YOU'RE the awesome one, thank you for taking the time and effort to send this message, it means more to me than you know :) i know i don't post very often but i swear i have so many ideas and i hope you enjoy them whenever i finally get em down on paper!
thank you thank you thank you again for sticking with my lil old fics for this long and for reaching out to tell me that. good luck with grad school!! remember to sleep and eat and make all the good choices my dumb ass forgot to!!
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the-wip-project · 1 year ago
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SloMo WriNo: Q & A
A few questions about how the SloMo WriNo challenge have come in, so here's the answers to a few of the easy ones. (Don't worry, more complicated questions will be getting their own posts!)
When does it start? The official start date is November 1st.
However this challenge is about you finding your own long term writing rhythm. So if there’s some reason why you can’t begin for a week, a month, or even until next year, that’s fine. Feel free to jump in at any time, and even if you feel like you can’t ‘officially’ start your novel just yet, perhaps you can still begin trying out writing in a SloMo way. You may find yourself easing into things anyway!
Is this plan/event supposed to be just for novels?
Definitely not! I’ve had one person express their intention to write a series of novellas, another to do a second draft, and others plan on writing fanfiction. It’s for whatever you want to write but have been struggling with.
Do those min/max brackets apply for everything one would write in the year? Ideally yes! At least when it comes to writing you’re doing for your own self. (Writing for work and school obviously need to get done at whatever pace you’re required to do them!) The goal here is to establish writing as a long term sustainable habit. Now as time goes on you will probably want to tweak your minimum and maximum word counts, as you get more familiar with your own process. Please go ahead and do that, and then keep on writing within that adjusted ideal zone.
I’m kinda burned out. Should I even try to attempt this? That’s a tough one, and really something you need to answer for yourself based on your current situation and emotional state. If you do decide to attempt the challenge, I recommend keeping your goal word counts (at least initally) at a level that feels ‘too easy’ and taking at least two days each week off writing. If it starts feeling like too much, dial it back even further, or take some time off. This challenge will be going on all year, so you can hop in and out whenever you need to. No guilt needed!
Who are you and why are you claiming to be an expert on this stuff anyway? Actually no one has been so mean as to say that, but there’s been a little confusion about who I am and why I’m posting here. My name is Maree, and Barbex (the one who actually runs this blog) was kind enough to help me out with this challenge and let me post on the WIP blog and the WIP discord. (you can find my own blog at mareebrittenford.)
I completed my first novel in 2015, and since then I’ve written 8 novels, as well as assorted shorter stories and a few (okay maybe more than a few) fanfics. I have managed to publish 4 of the novels and a few short stories have made their way into magazines and anthologies. Now I don’t claim to be a great writer, but the one thing I’m confident of is that I’ve become very good at is Finishing My Stuff. (And finishing stuff with ADHD is a very special skill!)
I created this challenge to share all my tips and tricks, and hopefully help other people also Finish Their Stuff.
If you have any other questions about the challenge (or for me personally) you can reblog with comments, send an ask, or hop onto the WIP discord
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princesscolumbia · 2 months ago
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Code of Ethics DOUBLE-SHOT! - Chapters 49 - Hanging the Lampshade & 50 - Pivot
Welcome to 2025! It's the year we go down in history as the generation that refused to go gently into the night!
When I was dealing with writer's block during the first half of December, I didn't really realize how demoralizing it was to have been churning out fiction super consistently and at volume (239,347 words JUST for CoE and JUST what's actually published! There's more written for five books in this series that won't be published until I can catch up to the narrative PLUS what I've written for other fiction! I'm thinking of tracking my daily writing word count just for giggles...yeah, I'm a numbers nerd, deal with it 😎) only to suddenly have that grind to a freaking halt.
If I hadn't tried to push through a bad writing choice and kept on task, I'd have made it to chapter 49 to be published on 12/29/2024. What happened instead was me scrambling to catch up and chapter 26 would have been published on that day instead. Now, I could have kept up with my regular Monday release schedule and just built up a buffer, but I looked at how many chapters I wanted to release for the month and realized, "...huh, wouldn't it be cool if I could make it to Chapter 50 before the end of the year?"
So goal set, I started cranking out words at probably the most ridiculous non-manic pace I'd ever set for myself. As of the morning of 12/31/2024 (yesterday morning as of the time of this writing), I'd managed to publish chapter 48 and had about 1/4 of the words on the page that I'd need for getting chapter 50 out the door. I could have pushed to finish 49, get everything out just like I'd planned, and call it good, but by that point a FIRE was lit in me and by the goddess I WAS GOING TO DO THIS!
Chapter 49 was published at about 10:30 PM on New Year's Eve. As a motivator, I'd decided if I published chapter 50 I'd reward myself by getting sloshed for the New Year, so I went to the grocery store and bought myself some Mike's Hard and some official, branded cans of Jack & Coke. My GF wanted to try the Jack & Coke and took one sip and made the funniest gross-out noises you've ever heard.
Even if I hadn't been determined to pump out chapter 50 already, I couldn't let a good alcoholic beverage I'd paid money for go to waste, now, could I?
I was typing so fast and non-stop that my fingers were starting to hurt, and when I managed to get chapter 50 up on both Patreon and ScribbleHub at 11:58 and 11:59 PM respectively, I slammed that "Publish" button, grabbed that can of Jack & Coke, and just chugged it! I don't think I've ever felt as hype to meet a personally set deadline as I was last night!
So without further ado...
Ch. 49:
Diane returns to her station with signs of trouble on the horizon
Ch. 50:
Diane welcomes a new life to her station
DOUBLE LENGTH preview below the cut:
Diane disembarked with as little fanfare as when the ship deployed, that is to say attended by Norma and Russe at the dock and not much else to speak of it.
Jase had offered to take Benjamin on a tour of the station and get the refuge settled into his own quarters on the station. As interested as Diane was in getting to know her new guest, she was grateful to her captain for volunteering for that duty. She had friends to greet.
She was giving a hug to Norma and grinning at the ever-eager Russe as he waited his turn when J’Jesi strode past, giving Diane a friendly (if cagey) smile and a nod. As she disappeared into the crowd of people milling about Docking Bay B, Norma looked between the Crotuk and Diane and smiled, “Well-well, making a new friend, are we?”
Diane pinked, “Uh, yes. She’s nice. We worked on some repairs together.”
Norma smirked, “Oh, yes, is that what the kids these days are calling it. I bet you made her engine purr.”
Diane’s cheeks went from pink to red in a heartbeat and she couldn’t meet Norma’s eyes, “Crotuk don’t purr.”
There was about 45 seconds of stunned silence before Norma cackled, “Oh-hohohoho! Our sweet, innocent little commander is growing up! So how compatible are Morvuck and Crotuk? Is she a new spoke on your very own polycule? Are we going to have to throw a wedding in the future?”
Diane groaned, “No, no weddings! We’re just friends, she made it clear she’s not interested in anything like...that. Just...I guess the term is ‘friends with benefits’...?”
Norma’s expression softened, “Well, I’m glad, you really did have a bit of a stick up your ass about sex. Caitlynn really has been good for y...”
Diane witnessed something very startlingly disturbing in Norma as she seemed to just...slow down. Not like her avatar was stuck in a faulty environment model or crashed code block, but like her mind just seemed to wind down. Her pupils dilated and her smile almost seemed to sag just slightly. Her muscles didn’t so much as droop as it was like she suddenly realized she had forgotten something but didn’t know what.
All at once, she returned to her usual, animated self, “...ou! I’m sure if she asked you then you’d be asking the promenade to get ready for a wedding procession.”
Nonplused, she was about to say something when she spotted Russe behind Norma shaking his head with a sad and disturbed look on his face. Changing gears, she focused on Norma again, “That...might...” she took a breath, grateful for once that her usual flustered behavior around the subjects of love and sex would work for her in this instance. She rubbed her face as though flustered and said, “If she asked, I’ll admit I would be very happy to see that happen.”
“Well I know what the next girl’s night with her and I is going to be about, then...”
Diane rolled her eyes, “Norma, no, stop. I promise you’ll be the first I tell if she does ask but don’t pester her about it, please?”
“Oh, alright, fine then. Spoil my fun!” she said melodramatically. “See if I bring donuts to the post-shakedown debriefing.”
Diane’s eyes went wide in unfeigned excitement, “Donuts?! The station has donuts now?!”
Norma cackled and Russe groaned, though he did so with a smile. Katrina rezzed in next to Diane and chuckled, “Russe now owes Norma and I five credits each. He bet that someone who was so fitness focused as yourself wouldn’t like donuts. My behavioral heuristics models and Norma’s observations of your preference for sweet things when you felt you could afford the indulgence pointed very clearly to appreciating carbs in any variety.”
Diane was genuinely, if pleasantly, surprised that they had been discussing something like her preferences in her absence. “I...huh, that makes sense, but doesn’t necessarily mean I like donuts in particular...”
Katrina’s impish smile, loopily swaying tail, and perked feline ears served to underscore the smug tone when she interrupted with, “There’s also the record fast approval time from when you opened the application for the donut shop to move onto the station and your approval.”
Diane blushed but smiled, “Ah...”
Russe went about transferring some credits to Norma on his mini-tab with a bit of a grumble.
“Fifteen-point-eight seconds,” declared Katrina, Norma giggling like they’d planned this interaction.
Diane, confused, rocked back slightly and replied with, “Huh?”
Norma’s belly was shaking with her barely contained laughter as Katrina clarified, “Your usual time to approval averages about 20 to 30 minutes along with some research done if nobody is available to be your sounding board about the application. The time between opening the application and marking it approved was 15.8 seconds, three of which were spent scrolling to the bottom of the document to provide your signature.”
Read the rest at ScribbleHub:
Chapter 49
Chapter 50
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bunbundubdub · 15 days ago
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Below The Belt - Caleb Part 2
Bla bla, wrote more than planned, bla bla probably should wait to publish this but screw it, have some filth on me :) TW: p in v, fingering, oral (f!receiving), Caleb is big everywhere y'all, struggling to make it fit, I don't think this dynamic is healthy, oops -------------------------------
The first few times afterwards he gets overwhelmed just as quickly, always making sure that you are well taken care of, either using his skilled tongue or fingers very enthusiastically, but when it came to the actual act, it took several tries.
There was not just the fact that he was just that sensitive still, put in simple terms, he had been hiding a monster in those pants of his. In terms of length, you were certain that he could easily reach the deepest parts of you, but it was the sheer girth of him that concerned you. Dirty books had given you mental images before, but now you were certain that he was as close to them as it could realistically get.
Nowhere near the 'could barely wrap two hands around it' size but still large enough to make it likely that it would take several attempts to even make his tip fit inside, let alone all of him.
But if you two were one thing, it was determined. You had only mentioned the ideas of toys to ease the transition once, only to find Caleb personally offended at just the thought of anything other than himself pleasuring you. He took the thought of having to wait until he could have you completely like a champ however. He had waited for years to get to this point in the first place and he was already on cloud nine, it was as if he had no concept of how much better it could get.
You were not that patient however. Lying in bed with him was nice enough, either with his face buried between your legs, lapping and sucking like you were his last meal on death row, or with you half lying on him, three of his thick fingers buried inside you as far as they could reach, curling and dragging along your walls until you had to bite him like he had back then to keep your wails of pleasure to yourself.
Your frustration reached it's boiling point one day. Work had been awful, your friend had ditched you for whatever was more important than your movie date and on top of that, you were So. Damn. Horny. Caleb could basically see the steam shooting out your ears when you came home, slamming the door shut hard enough to make the picture frames on the wall rattle and saw his life flash before his eyes as your eyes found him immediately.
Caleb had rarely felt any negative emotions towards you, a little jealousy or frustration maybe, but as you stormed towards him, he was suddenly very afraid. His mind was grappling to find any reason why you would be so upset. He stood quickly, stepping back a few steps, gesturing towards the table with a wobbly smile. "I made dinner, your favorites, too!" He said cheerfully and you almost felt bad that his hard work would have to go cold tonight.
Otherwise you might just melt or combust at this very moment. He didn't flinch when your hands grabbed fistfuls of his shirt and pulled, his ear right next to your mouth. "We'll make it fit tonight, even if it kills me. I'm gonna ride you until I've ruined us both and you're gonna help me, right?" You could almost hear his teeth clatter with how eagerly he was nodding, his nervous expression making way for lust and excitement in the blink of an eye.
In your everyday life he was your strong protector, keeping you safe from anyone and anything, always taking the initiative, but when it came to the bathroom, he was still trying to find his footing. To find out what he liked and what he didn't, what you liked and didn't, so he usually just went with whatever felt right in the moment.
But now that you had a plan in mind, one he was eager to follow, he looked at you like a lost puppy waiting for a command. "Take your clothes off." Was your first instruction and Caleb followed suit without hesitation. "Take my clothes off." Was a command he followed all to eagerly too. While he had simply ripped of his own shirt, pants and underwear, throwing them in some random corner, he took his time unwrapping you like a present, just like always.
There was nothing more arousing to see him pop open button after button on your blouse, his eyes almost shining with reverence at every inch of skin he uncovered. His lips always followed his fingers, making sure to leave no spot unloved, just like you deserved. Without fail, whenever it was your turn to shower him with affection, his heart began to pound as if it was trying to run away from him.
He kissed the spot right below your bellybutton and down your thighs as he slipped your pants off, throwing them onto the growing pile of clothes. No one would be able to tell whose groan was louder as Caleb pressed his lips to the front of your panties, inhaling as deeply as his lungs would allow before his fingers slipped under the fabric and finally pushed them down too.
In your newfound dynamic, you had found that Caleb always wanted just a moment to hold you once you were both naked, sometimes simply embracing you, most of the time staying at the same spot where he had freed you of your final piece of clothing. Just wanting to feel you close, to know that you were really here, really his, he pressed his ear against your lower stomach, arms wrapped around your backside as you carded your fingers through his hair.
"I'm here. I'm yours." You whispered like you always did and he nodded against your body, releasing you and rising to his feet. "And I'm yours. Please tell me how to make you feel good." His eagerness was always so precious. It seemed that your pleasure was always at the forefront of his mind, his own taking second place, but you wouldn't have that.
"Just like we always do, my Caleb."
The two of you had found a routine that worked for the both of you, always planning that today would be the day and yet it always ended in a failure, although it left both of you satisfied. You had to remind yourself that your home in Skyhaven was isolated and that you didn't have to hold yourself back from letting him know just how good he made you feel.
You found yourself on the bed on your back, your head supported by enough pillows so you could watch him with ease. The bites and kisses he had left on your legs, were already blossoming into bruises of a wide array of colors when he finally descended on you.
His tongue went straight to mapping you out, licking, sucking and nibbling until he felt your hips trying to buck off the bed, his Evol making quick work of putting a stop to that. Once he had gotten a taste of you, there was not moving him until he was sated. And goodness was he ever so hungry.
He always made you count how many climaxes he had wrung out of you with just his mouth, his hips rutting slowly into the mattress, not quite desperate for pleasure, but chasing it all the same.
When you started to get the numbers wrong, he knew that it was time to move on, pulling himself up to lie beside you. His fingers found your center immediately, the first one slipping in easily and a second one not far behind. He swallowed up your moans, kissing you deeply, pouring all the adoration he held for you into each one of them.
He soon managed to fit a third finger comfortably inside you as you formulated your plan. How could you finally make this work? You had been close to making him fit before, but Caleb had always been too worried about hurting you and just get it over with and make you take it. But you would put a stop to that today.
He looked up at you with those gentle purple eyes as you rolled him over onto his back, straddling his length that had smacked against his stomach. His hands flew to your waist immediately as you started rubbing yourself against him, hoping that getting him nice and wet with your own essence would make this easier.
As you lifted yourself up, wrapping your hand around him until his tip was nestled snugly against your entrance, you immediately felt this dull burning sensation of being stretched. And now that you were on top, you sat yourself down, determined to at least give him a taste of the warm walls that were waiting to bring him home. But your muscles just wouldn't budge,
You felt the frustration build in your gut yet again, resorting to rub tight circles against the bundle of nerves, hoping that it would help you open up a little. Calebs fingers soon pushed yours aside, his skilled touch working you into a frenzy much quicker as one of your hands held his length in place, while the other held onto his chest for dear life.
The knot in your stomach burst suddenly and violently and in the throes of pleasure you almost missed the moment you pushed yourself down just that little more and his tip slipped inside you with a quick sting.
Caleb was twitching beneath you, overwhelmed by the way you were constricting around him, your walls pressing down on him, warm and wet. Neither of you knew what to say, you already felt so full of him, the burn of being stretched quickly subsiding as you slid down a little further, one inch at a time.
Below you, Caleb was fighting tooth and nail with his self control. You had been right, he had no idea he could feel so good, like he was almost one with you and the two of you had not even started moving. Both of you were breathing heavily, Caleb with the strain of holding on and you with the feeling of him pushing all the air out of you.
But then you hit yet another bump in the road. Letting gravity do it's job had gotten you about three quarters down so far, but try as you might, you just couldn't lower yourself down the rest of the way. Your gentle thrusts made his pronounced tip and the prominent veins down his length scraped along your walls, pleasurable, but just not enough.
You needed all of him and you needed it now. You didn't even notice the tears running down your cheeks, but Caleb sure did. Even as you gripped him so tight that he wanted to erupt, he found the strength to stop your hips from moving and wipe away the tears.
"What's wrong? Are you hurt?" He breathed a quick sigh of relief as you shook your head, your tears and sobs intensifying as you felt him still so deep inside you as you sat still, it just wasn't enough. "Please Caleb…you feel so good but…please, I need all of you, help me please!" You babbled as your fingernails dragged along his chest, desperately trying to move your hips against his iron grip, trying to at least feel something.
"How am I so lucky…" He muttered, still holding your hips hostage as you babbled and pleaded with him to just help you. Suddenly there was a tingle running across your skin, completely enveloping. You only saw a glimpse of blue and red and suddenly you dropped down. Your backside collided with his hips as he surged up inside you, finally dragging across that spot he just didn't manage to quite reach before and nestling firmly against your cervix.
The climax that dragged you with it was so sudden and intense that you could do nothing but fall against his chest, hold onto anything you could reach and just take it. You twitched and spasmed, finally so full that it almost felt like he was only thing that existed at this moment. And then he began to move. You could've never imagined how earth shatteringly good you could feel, the pleasure almost rising to the point of pain as it just wouldn't stop as Caleb moved you on his length faster and harder.
Having held out for so long and so willingly, allowing him to use you to chase his own climax felt like the least you could do, especially since he did all the work now and you were practically incapacitated on top of him.
It didn't take long for him to join you, thrusting his hips up in one last thrust as he pulled you against him at the same time, the pressure of him trying to carve out his own space against your cervix almost painful. But gods above and below was he beautiful like this. Thrashing about as he spurted inside you as deep as he could, his cheeks flushed and with a grimace that would look like pain in any other scenario.
His groans had turned into whimpers, then sobs as the rush of bliss had started to subside and the reality of what had just happened settled in fully. You couldn't judge him for it, you never could, because you were feeling much the same.
Finally you had become one, as close as you ever could, that you trusted him with taking his place in this most sacred and intimate place of yours and that he trusted you when you said he wouldn't hurt you, that you needed his help to get there.
The quiet after the storm you had just braved felt almost holy, something that shouldn't be disturbed, something words could never do justice and as your lips claimed his once again you found that to understand each other, you didn't need words anyway.
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clarafae · 5 months ago
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Writing Fanfic Tag Game
Thanks for tagging me @crazy-ache
Describe your writing process from idea to posting/publishing
I usually have an idea knocking around in my head for a while before I even touch a keyboard. For weeks my brain will just pick at this idea, turning it over and over until the only way to get it out of my head is to just sit down and write it.
Sometimes I'll start writing and the idea that seemed so spectacular in my head is actually quite mediocre on page and I'll shelve it. Sometimes I'll come back to them. Other times I'll dissect it for other fics.
If I'm on to a good thing then the words come really easy and I'll ride that wave for as long as I can.
Are you a plotter or a pantser?
Both. Most writers are a mix, I think. I like to plot my plot, and pants my relationships, if that makes sense.
My plot gets outlined at the beginning and it very much is a case of writing: This [thing] happens, and then that triggers [this event], and then this character responds [like this], etc. until I reach a point that I think would make a satisfying ending.
I like to build the relationships in the story blindly. The characters tell me how fast they want to progress, and how they talk to each other in one chapter will build the foundations for the next. I find that if I plan for the characters to kiss in a particular chapter, that it feels weirdly forced.
Sometimes the plot will progress too fast for my characters and I have to throw in a few filler chapters to bring their relationship to where I need it.
What do you listen to when you are writing?
Nothing. I have a rambunctious three-year-old and I need peace and quiet once she goes to bed.
What’s your drink of choice(while writing)?
I draft with wine and edit with coffee.
Promote yourself! What’s your favorite thing you’ve written?
Currently, Hand of Fate, but probably because it's my shiny new toy.
Share a fic of yours that you think is underrated/deserves more love.
I've actually been pleasantly surprised by how well my fanfics have been received. Springtide was the first time I've written fanfiction since my teen years writing Harry Potter fics on fanfiction.net
Do you have any advice for new writers?
I think storytelling is hard, but it can be made easy. Sometimes it's as simple as asking myself 'What's the most interesting thing that could happen next?' and then just writing that. Then, at the end of that scene, I ask myself that again, and I just follow that until I have an outline for a story.
Don't compare your first draft to someone else's final draft. And on that note, even the most well-written authors will have a first draft that looks like yours, they just go on to polish their writing far beyond what most people would.
Don't worry about writing blocks, just write [something interesting happens here] and move on. I often write [Lucien says something sassy] and then by the time I come to edit it I have to hope I have an idea of what he would say!
What is a writing style/technique that others do really well that you'd like to get better at?
Something I've been trying to do with Hand of Fate is slowing down my writing and letting my scenes breathe before moving onto the next scene. I've always been in a bit of a rush to move from one exciting event to the next and sometimes my fics move far too fast. Sooo much happened in Springtide it that it easily could have been twice the length. With HoF I've really tried to wring as much from each scene as I think I could without it dragging before moving on.
Is there a character you were surprised you enjoyed writing as much as you did?
Ianthe! I really leaned into her being as bitchy as possible and I had a wicked time with it. She initially was only supposed to create a bit of tension between Elain and Lucien, but I guess I accidentally created a full-on villain.
I would tag people but I don't really know anyone. So if you decide you want to write one, go ahead!
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joy-of-life88 · 2 years ago
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Damian Priest x Reader ONE SHOT
First published on Wattpad August 12, 2023
"Damian, could we have a word? We just witnessed how the Judgment Day savagely attacked Edge once again. But yet again, it didn't work out the way you and your mates thought it would. The WWE Universe is curious what you have to say about this.
Why are all your attempts to ultimately take over Monday Night Raw failing? Do you think maybe you were a little too cocky? What are your plans?" I asked Damian backstage.
It was my job to do these interviews and yes, it was part of asking questions that you knew would piss off the wrestlers. That's what the producers wanted to see. Normally it was hard for me to be a little mean. But in the case of Priest, it came easily to me.
He was irritated with me and I was irritated with him. Why exactly? I don't know. Really... I didn't have a clue. We just didn't get along. He seemed a little too full of himself. And I wasn't sure that was just the character he was portraying. I also didn't want to spend more time than necessary with him to find out if I was possibly wrong.
It was better that way. I swear, if he called me spoiled princess one more time, blood would flow. I was so sick of people thinking I was only here because my dad was on the board of the WWE. Hell, I didn't even like my father. And he had nothing to do with why I got this job. That had totally different reasons.
"Well princess... if you understood a little bit more about our business, you would know that you won't get far here if you don't make enemies. We want to get to the top and no matter how long it takes... the Judgment Day will rise above all.
Mark my words, Y/N... even if it's hard for you. We have just begun to spread fear and terror. And anyone who doesn't get out of our way will get knocked out of the way." he replied, and then someone behind the camera said Cut.
"As always a displeasure to work with you, Princess. Now go make yourself useful on your knees somehow." he mocked.
It was probably meant to be funny, but he was talking to the wrong person about that.
"Fuck you, you arrogant asshole. Get the fuck out of my face. I'm getting a headache just thinking about your voice," I retorted.
"I bet you'd like that. But I know what you're really up to.... It's probably been an hour since you demolished that last piece of cake. Hence the headache." He laughed and then left.
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Damian POV
"Why the hell are you always so rotten towards Y/N? What did she ever do to you?" asked Rhea to me.
"Nothing... I just can't stand her and her attitude. And it's not like she's holding back." I replied as we walked further down the hall.
"You're both fucking awful. You bicker like little kids. If I had to guess, I'd say you're attracted to her," Rhea said.
"What makes you think that? She's not my type at all. I don't go for chubby girls with attitude problems. She seriously thinks she's God's gift to manhood," I explained.
"What are you talking about? She's gorgeous. My God so she's got a few more pounds on her than those skinny bitches. Who cares? I think you're not telling me what it really is.... I think you can't stand that she doesn't put up with your shit. Not even on camera." she replied.
"Oh please.... I don't know... She just rubs me the wrong way." I said.
"I bet you'd like her to rub you the right way." she then smirked.
"Not in a million years." i snorted.
"You know... One of these days I'm going to lock you in a room and not let you out until after you talk.
---------------------------------
"Good lord! Can you maybe just do your job? It's not that hard! I'll ask the questions and you answer." growled Y/N as we tried to film a segment for next week.
"I would if you were capable of formulating reasonable questions," I replied in a deep voice.
"Maybe I should just formulate it so you can comprehend it..." she muttered.
And so it went on for another half hour until we finally managed to come up with something decent. I could tell the producer wasn't happy with either of us.
I was walking back to the dressing room when Rhea intercepted me and asked me to follow her. She went into a secluded part of the arena where some empty storage rooms were. She opened the door and practically shoved me inside.
"Rhea what are you doing? I thought you wanted to talk?" I heard Y/N's voice.
"Talking is going to happen. You will talk to each other. In order that you finally get along with each other. It's annoying how you treat each other. Work it out." she said and closed the door behind her.
For a while it was silent. Neither of us said a word. I leaned against the wall next to the door while she wandered up and down the room with her arms crossed over her chest.
"Go ahead, talk," I said at one point.
"I have nothing to say to you." replied Y/N.
"Didn't expect any other way.... If you don't have time to write down the questions beforehand, you can't think of anything." I said.
"Oh he's such a smart one! You can't think of anything new to insult me with. I'm too tired for Rhea's attempt to make friends out of us." she replied.
"As if I ever wanted to be friends with you..." I muttered.
"Yes, because God forbid you should find out that I have brains and not just tits," she said, rolling her eyes.
"Well, if the shoe fits. But I bet you have a lot of talents that require your other body parts." I laughed.
"So that's what you think? That I'm a slut? Are you offended that I've never offered it to you before?" she asked aloud.
"Oh please... I bet you're not as good as you think you are," I continued laughing.
I just couldn't take her seriously. Even though I just saw the tiniest bit of hurt on her face.
"You know what? I'm going to shut you up once and for all. You think I'm a slut? Here you go, so be it." she then growled and came towards me with quick steps.
I had no idea what she was up to, but suddenly she was in front of me, pushing against my shoulder until my back was pinned firmly against her wall.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"Proving a point." she replied and before I knew it she had already opened my pants and pulled them down a bit along with my underwear. 
"Woah, woah, woah! Have you lost your mind?" I wanted to know when she already took my cock in her hand and started rubbing me.
I put my hands on her shoulders as I tried to push her off me.
"Hands off." she commanded in a tone I didn't recognize from her.
And at this point... I could no longer resist. Her hands moved faster and faster in a way that blew my mind. Never in my life had a woman jerked me off like that. My breathing became rapid as I looked into her eyes. She cupped my balls and massaged them gently at first, then harder.
"See? You're just like any other man... Powerless when you're being grabbed by the balls. No matter how big your mouth was before. You're pathetic, Damian. Look at you... Being pleasured by a spoiled princess you can't stand. When all you had to do was say the word.... No... or Stop." she said softly and seductively.
And although her words were insulting, they were somehow arousing.
I watched as she stuck a thumb in her mouth and licked it before running that very thumb over my tip.
"So desperate for attention.... With no regard for anyone else's feelings or past. You need to learn that there are consequences." She continued almost in a whisper as her hands continued to work on me.
"What do you mean?" I gasped, very close to coming.
At that moment Y/N let go of me, yanked open the door and marched out of the room, leaving me just like that. Exposed and very unsatisfied. And on top of that, confused and frustrated.
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