#I don't Not believe in these things. idk the world is complicated who am I to rule anything out. but like. you know.

[makingshortstorieslong]

going to start believing in reincarnation or infinite alternate realities split on our choices just to avoid fear of missing out on the other things I could choose to do with this one life time. haven't decided which yet - but if I choose the second it doesn't matter bc in another universe I'm sure I chose the first, and if I choose the first it's okay I'll probably believe in the other one in another life

[shamixlour]

IWTV - Louis, why?

I am really curious to know and like don't get me wrong, I'm not being sarcastic or judgmental, I really want to know why as this gets me quite baffled and dumbfounded and what I mean by this is people who are surprised or don't understand why Louis stays with Armand after Paris or even SF.

Like, sure, in a way I understand where you are coming from... like how can Louis stay after what Armand did to him and Claudia in Paris? How can he continue to be with him after SF even though their relationship has been nothing but decades of boredom? Why is he still with him, years later in Dubai? Why didn't Louis leave him after everything? Imho, regardless of the mind controlling and all that memory erasure that did happen between them, it is a rather simple answer.

Where do you want Louis to go?????? Like genuinely. What do you want him to do?????? Who do you want to meet??? Is there anyone else for him now???? Is there someone????? Same for Armand, really. They are both almost forced to hold along because who would want to be with any of them? Who would want to be with Louis? Who would want to be with Armand? They both think no one would, and so they hold onto each other, they've seen the worst of e/o anyways and so they stay with each other because that is the only thing they can do and there might have been love at some point, affection but when we see them in Dubai, only an empty shell remains or rather they are both a lap of resentment and unuttered feelings.

Louis's got all eternity spread out in front of him. He is immortal and he is all alone, or at least he believes so. Claudia is dead. He probably thinks Lestat doesn't want anything to do with him anymore or maybe they can't be together for some other reasons, the point is Louis is alone and has nowhere else to go other than stay by Armand's side. He has nowhere to go.

He's like a bird stuck in a really pretty cage.

Louis is all alone, and his hands are tied, and his heart aches, and he is half a world away from where he belongs, from where he really wants to be. Again, it is not complicated, it is that simple and tragic (for both of them btw) and so i don't get why it is such a big deal for a lot of people although I'm always open for conversations and speculations and all of that but for this particular thing, idk I feel like it is quite crystal clear. It is made crystal clear, it is painted very outwardly and it is utterly sad and purposefully expressed in subtle ways but it is here.

Daniel and the interview shine a big fucking spotlight on it, on the entire situation, on all the flaws and pain and bitterness of Loumand's relationship throughout the years but also the mere condition of being a vampire and coming in terms with it and all the struggles that comes with it.

Daniel and the interview also will be, imho, what will help Louis break free from this cage, from this golden prison and finally be himself, accept who he is deep down. It will free Armand too because they deserve better and it is definitely not each other.

But yeah, that is why they stay with each other all these years, because what else could they have done??? Who would have want their company? Would Louis even indulge himself in accepting said company? *crickets* yeah exaclty.

Anyways, this was way too long, so if you read all of this, heart on you! Also, in no way i'm trying to belittle people's interrogations and emotions, it was mostly just some brain splash of things i wanted to express but also because Louis is not to blame for staying...like there are plenty explanations as to why he stays just like there are some explanations as to why Armand does what he does for this relationship to keep going forward. Besides, i'm always curious to read how people view them ect so feel free to hop on the discussion!

[olderthannetfic]

I would never defend them - at least not the ones who actually harass people - but I do wonder if there's some antis out there who genuinely come from good intentions.

Super serious and genuinely shameful confession: I'm an ex-radfem. I went into those circles in the first place bc I liked some of Dworkin's works. And while I obviously do not recommend anyone ever get into radical feminism, I will say this: If haven’t been down that very specific rabbit hole of ideology yourself - especially in online settings - you cannot even begin to imagine how fucking INSANELY pervasive the ideas are. Even if you've been a victim of radfem hate, if you haven't been a radfem yourself, I'm truly inclined to think you have no idea what those spaces are actually like. Sorta like how if you've been a victim of fundie hate, that is awful and it fucking sucks, but if you haven't been raised fundie yourself, you really don't know what it's like to be IN those circles, just a VICTIM of those circles.

I hate to throw around words like “hivemind” or “groupthink” but it is that. I went into radfem spaces thinking that I was above believing certain things that they believed but I clearly wasnt, it is so fucking toxic and that’s why i’ll never believe that “TIRF” (trans inclusionary radfem - something I tried and failed to be) can be a real thing. And then these same people have the audacity to call trans rights a cult, but you know, it's whatever.

Obviously terfs are more serious in the "real world" than antis are, but there are some parallels in the way that both groups feel about kink/porn discourse. (No, I'm not saying that antis "believe TERF ideology" or anything, but I do think in the specific context of sex stuff, there ARE alot of parallels.)

I am not defending radfems either, but I will say that I got into it because I was genuinely worried about things such as: PH and how they just steal content from sex workers, the abuse going on in the sex work industry, the phenomenon of young girls who are waiting to turn 18 so they can start an OF account, romance novels that were not marketed as dark but should've been considering they straight up romanticized abuse and rape.

I really do think that most antis are of a similar mindset -- people, typically young traumatized people (not trying to pull the neurodivergent minor card, it's just that statistically speaking, that label CAN describe most antis) who are truly worried that, like, idk, some young girl is gonna watch Twilight or read Reylo fic and think that an overly possessive bf is #goals. Again, I'm NOT trying to defend this ideology or line of thinking at all, I'm just saying that i DO think most of them really don't realize the harm that they're doing, and actually think they're doing good.

I actually kinda feel bad for them, but like my earlier comparisons, I feel bad for them in the same way I feel bad for fundies or evangelicals. I feel bad that they hold such an awful ideology while thinking they're doing good things, but I stop feeling bad once they start ACTUALLY hurting people and I'll always feel worse for the people who they harass and harm.

And like I'd never want to be a radfem again and I hate that I was one once but, between myself and your ~10k (ballpark estimate lol) followers, I think that my time spend in that belief system gave me some really good insight to cult mindsets, which was something I didn't understand before or have much sympathy towards, and I've emerged with a lot of empathy for people who ARE stuck in bad ideologies. I could've been born into a hate group. I could've been preyed on by alt-right people and sucked in that way. Instead, it was reading radblr during quarantine that got me. Before I fell into it, I just mindlessly hated everyone in that group, and now I just feel sorry for them (still without justifying any of their actions).

It's honestly a really, really, complicated thing to try to grapple with. Anyone, yes including you reading this, can be brainwashed into hate. The second you think you're too good for that, you've lost.

This was more of a vent than a discourse ask. I guess my tl;dr is: I hate antis, terfs, fundamentalists, etc, as much as the next guy, but I also recognize that some of those people truly truly do think they're on the right side of history, and some of those people have been sucked into an ideology they never would've believed otherwise if not for xyz factors. While hate groups will never deserve pity, there are some vulnerable people in hate groups who for some reason believe they're doing good, and I wish I could help all of those people.

--

Yeah, I assume many antis are perfectly sincere in their desire to protect people. They're just wrong about what will work.

[adidegmez]

x-men '97 spoilers

ep 1(To Me, My X-Men)

wow. i just finished x-men animated series. last eps were different than the other seasons. im glad they made this Show story wasnt ober yet. this new start is so good. artstyle is amazing. The visual effects were so cool. everything is great. it was fun. cyclops is struggling. There's a lot of pressure on him. and he is leaving x-men with Jean. Jean is pregnant. Charles really left everything to magnus?! and why is bishop still there i get that timeline is not right but they are not doing a certain thing to fix it. and im glad morph is back. and rogue and gambit i love them. logan and morph's friendship is nice.

ep 2(Mutant Liberation Begins)

Why did they suddenly start calling Magnus Erik? Okay, Erik is also his name i know, but they used to call him Magnus. Erik is an honorable man. I want to believe and trust him. I hope he doesn't have any evil plans. We'll see what happened between rogue and magneto. storm lost her Powers while trying to save magneto. magneto tried. he really did. humans suck(most of the times-in most of the universes). they dont deserve them. dr. rogue and baby is here. scott is being nice to magneto. its good for now. but not for long probably. ororo left. gambit's heart is broken. and 2 jean's?! I cried in the last two minutes of the episode more than I ever cried in the first 5 seasons. It was more painful. it happened in a much more perfect way. it was beautiful. I guess this is what happens when an animated series is made for adults. i really love it.

ep 3(Fire Made Flesh)

Why is Roberto in the mansion? Is he there to hang out with jubilee or is he staying there now? Since when is jean a clone? goblit queen is so powerfull. baby is gone. Madelyne is one but i think we'll see her again someday. hi, forge. i hope this is really forge and he can help storm.

ep 4(Motendo/Lifedeath - Part 1)

I want to see more gambit and rogue. and I want to see nightcrawler. not mojo again🤦🏻‍♀. jubilee's powers are cool. storm:(. i hope she can get her Powers back. i love forge. he did something bad but he wants to redeem himself. i hope he can.

ep 5(Remember It)

this Show makes me so happy. kurt is here. genosha is beautiful. mutants live in peace. madelyn is here. and i got gambit rogue and kurt:). I can't feel nostalgic. I just finished the x-men animeted series yesterday but this is so perfect. its just perfection. i love them so much. this Show pays tribute to what the other has done and takes it even further. I can only ask for more episodes, there is nothing else I can ask for(except maybe more gambit and rogue). scott is right. If the x-men were like humans, I think they would start thinking like the old Magneto. The x-men did not think about themselves, they always prioritized others. but in the end they were always hated. I don't understand how they can still do this. How do they hold on, how do they compromise themselves for those who still hate them? Mutants(not the bad ones) deserve great things, but all they get from the world they're trying to save is hatred. and scott is losing his fate in charles vision. he lost his son. his wife was a clone. There's a lot going on for Scott right now. but I hope he can get over this as soon as possible. jean kissed logan! she is confused to she has to remember so that she can be with scott again. and then maybe jean and scott could help eachother get better. i like seeing scott's eyes. scott is right i am not sure jean loves scott anymore. she remembers she loved him but i dont think she feel that way anymore. scott loves madelyn because she was jean and part of her is still jean. idk everything is complicated. it is painful to watch. i just want them all of them to be happy. but there's so much going on right now. I wanted gambit and rogue to be together. They were so beautiful together. But Magneto may be right, I can't be angry with him. But I just wish Rogue and Gambit could be more than friends. too many people are heartbroken rogue, gambit, jean, scott, (me). Did I just see Watcher? after gambit and rogue's talk. i think i did. i wish things were simple. cable is nathan. Why was he there and why did he leave? erik is gone. gambit is dead. they saved rogue. so many mutant died. leech trusted magneto. magneto gave hope to mutants and everything was great, i had hope things were getting better. mutants on genosha were happy. magneto he tried. he tried to save them. he tried to be like Charles. but World just wont let them be this good. he really tried. Would I be too delusional if I hoped that Remy and Erik would return? I need them both back. i cant feel you, this tells everything(reminds me of wanda). I knew it the moment I saw rogue touching gambit. I wish things could have happened differently. i knew I haven't cried this much while reading or watching a story in a long time. This episode really broke me. I'm not in a good mood. The world doesn't deserve X-Men. they never deserved the x-men and will never deserve them. Whatever the x-men do now, they will almost always be right.

ep 6(Lifedeath - Part 2)

lilandra and Charles are good together im happy for them. but i wouldnt mind if they come to earth and save x-men. storm and forge they are cute. but it probably wont last long, i wish it could last. i hope Charles can learn about what erik did. professor xavier, that was smart. yes, storm got her Powers back. Charles is Charles. i love him. his ideals are amazing but they are just ideas. to make them real they suffer they try and they fail over and over again. im glad hes returning to earth but it is too late. and things in spece wont be good when he left. and sinister! sinister killed all those mutants adn remy and erik. i hope he will have a painfull and an awful ending to his story.

ep 7(Bright Eyes)

not a funeral, please he has to come back. hi cap. normally i would say it is nice to see you but right now you're just reminding me how ridiculous mutant hatred is. Yes, there are people who hate superheroes too, but mutant hatred is on another level. And this is ridiculous. rogue is right to be mad. Humans expect mutants to compromise themselves in order to live with them, and they require this. Because humans are afraid of mutants, mutants have to hide their powers and not use them so that people do not feel threatened. Why do mutants follow their rules? because they are good. The "bad ones" don't suppress their power just because people want them to. But when it comes to humans, mutants who live their own nature as they wish are evil. i love kurt and rogues relationship. it feels good to see the X-Men being together and helping each other through all this bad stuff. oppenheimer… now i am become death the destroyers of worlds. trask destroyed all those mutants lifes. i cant say he didnt deserved death but rogue, she let him die. this is not who x-men is, at least WHO they were. she is angry she is grieving she is not in her right mind right now. if she was herself she wouldnt have let him die. i saw the sign for Strak Industries. I wish we could see Tony. In which universe, in which timeline are we right now? Is Tony dead here too? magneto is alive. bastion? i dont know anything about him i guess ill see. scott learned about cable.

ep 8(Tolerance Is Extinction - Part 1)

is madelyne dead? i thought she just get hurt not dead. kurt with swords, I've been waiting for this. Everything is in a very bad state right now, but this visuality and the fights are beautiful. Jean being a mother to cable(seatbelt:) ). wolverine's fight in the skys. yes! summers family. it was so cool. hi peter. but really magneto was right. Charles was just being naive. humans are the wortst. i wish humans and mutants could live together in peace but humans wont let them. mutants deserve better. Charles is back. It wasn't Magneto who started the war. humans wanted this war from the beginning. Mutants and X-Men have been patient, but now it's too much, how much longer should they be patient? It would be really nice if there was peace, but as long as people have this hatred, it seems impossible to make peace. Bastion ignited the war, but whether he started or not, the war would still happen one day. I hope the mutants can win. magneto can win. I think Charles is late. Before the war, they could have tried to implement Charles' ideals, but it was too late. The war has begun and mutants need a leader in the war and that leader must be Magneto.

ep 9(Tolerance Is Extinction - Part 2)

Why is everyone mad at Magneto? I understand humans being angry, it's usual hatred, but why are the x-men so angry? Okay, the order of the world has been disrupted, life has become difficult, the end of the world may even be near, but Magneto saved the mutants. If he had not done this, the mutants would probably have died. I've never been one for villains, I've rarely agreed with them. and this is one of those rare moments. magneto is right. I don't think he is the villain in this story bastion and humans are the bad guys. im glad rogue went with him. charles' ideals are nice to think but its impossible right now. we need magneto. black lether, I completely forgot this scene was coming. x-men are noble they are still trying to do the right thing(according to them). I'm still amazed at how they can endure so much and still try to do good. morph smash:) I wish mutants didn't fight each other. but really i wanted to say shut up to Charles when magneto did. things are bad, really bad. When I started watching '97', I thought I would watch something fun and light. I never thought it would be this dark. Logan should have at least thought once before attacking Magneto with his metal skeleton. He probably won't die, but I think this is an indication that Magneto didn't want to hurt them before. If he wanted to, he would have done this years ago, but he prioritized mutants and didn't want to harm mutants. Now he had to harm the X-Men to save many other mutants. scott confused me, yes the others needed time but why did this happen? Is Jean dead? forge and storm will surive too right?

ep 10(Tolerance Is Extinction - Part 3)

ironman! I wasn't surprised when I saw Ironman with Captain America, but Daredevil caught me off guard. Daredevil is one of my favorite Marvel characters. Is Doctor Strange in surgery?! wakanda! cloak and dagger! this cameos are amazing i hope we can see things like that in live action. I hope mister sinister is gone for good. t'chaka is black panther. Charles destroyed magnus. i hope he can bring him back. bastion is right, humanity would rather die than have kids like mutants. and that why i dont like them. mr. fantastic(morph but still its nice to see him)! humans say we did it. But all they do is bring about the end of the world over and over again. x-men saved the world, magneto saved, mutants saved the world. humans only made it a worse place. wanda and quicksilver off World? where are they? bishop. yes save the x-men. i need season 2 immediatly. x-men scattered through time. They found Nathan. en sabah nur(Apocalypse!!!). At least the series didn't end in a bad place. They defeated Bastion and Sinister. They fell apart, but they're not in a bad situation right now. When is gambit coming back? he has to come back.

this Show is amazing. Characters from MCU and X-Men are in the same universe together. It was very beautiful. I hope we can see more. I can watch so many seasons this way.

[bugcatcherkit]

do you have shou mom hc or anything like that? I was looking at the bingo cards and wondered about your thoughts

kind of YES! I'm making another list. I don't know if you mean the entire Broad Range of what a HC is, or something specific. So these will be random thoughts I think about her.

This isn't really a HC and more explaining and/or expanding her canon personality traits. But alongside her headstrongness, I think she can be impulsive. Like, rushes into things she shouldn't but she becomes wholeheartedly committed anyway. Which isn't to say she's naive -- she knows exactly what she's getting into, she just thinks she can handle more than she actually can. Like someone else I know..

Also anybody else notice her strong need to make a huge impact on somebody else's life. She chose the Worst Guy ever with full intent that she alone could Fix Him (didn't even wait to see if she could). I think she wants the validation that her words, efforts, and convictions alone can make the world (and other people) a little better overall. It's just interesting that she could possibly seek a Big Goal through relationships themselves instead of at the expense of them.

Does anybody else think about how she was the only person outside of Claw who knew about it. Her ex literally got someone murdered and she couldn't do anything about it or go to anyone (because who's going to believe that? Especially when she doesn't have any evidence). And she had to live with it for years. Probably isolating as hell !!!! Especially because we don't know what her support system outside of her family was, if she even had an extensive one.

I imagine she tends to feel bad about things very easily, specifically her own actions/inaction, and how that effects other people. Like a responsibility thing, even though most things are out of her control. Her knowing when she needs to quit doesn't quite stop her feeling bad for doing so (and also I don't think she learned her own limits until That Argument, so she's like "what if I did More". It's part of I think she's always asking about Toichiro and planned to visit him with Shou -- she wanted to try again. This is Alongside her concern for him).

OKAY I am going to rant about the abandonment thing again because I keep seeing it still. Grabs everyone by the shoulders. There are so many reasons that she did not take Shou with her. Since (in the context of the argument) her leaving seems like a split-second decision, she probably did not have the proper resources to support him immediately after she left. By the time she got something figured she literally couldn’t get custody. AND I hope nobody forgot that Toichiro used Shou as leverage against her and that was why he cut contact between them entirely (or he thought he did). But they stayed in contact anyway!!!!!!!! They called and visited!!!! People get so distracted with the "abandonment" part that they overlook any potential complicated feelings that probably exist on both sides. Because those are very normal to have with a situation like that!!! For example, her leaving did not have the effect she thought it would (make Toichiro see his mistakes), and she has to consider that! But, at the time, she had run out of things to do or say, and it wouldn't have mattered anyway because the whole point was that Toichiro refused to listen to her or consider her feelings or Accept Change at all. Can anybody hear me??? So sorry to put this rant here when all you wanted was some headcanons

FUCK THAT GOT LONG. That's not even HC that's just character analysis I think? I don’t know anything. I'm actually bad at HCs guys. IDK what characters do in their spare time I just hyper-analyze their thoughts and motivations and ideals. Here's some actual HC maybe?

post-divorce she doesn't get her own place for a while (she is Unsure of what her next steps are and has a LOT to consider) but when she does it's quite small and cozy. Though, it only develops a Homely feel when Shou starts visiting. It becomes more personalized after that, I guess? Does that make sense.

She seems like the type to have a collection of trinkets that are One specific animal. She's got like 50 little porcelain bears sitting on a shelf somewhere or something.

she has one of those ugly little dogs with the crusty eyes. And she saw him at the shelter and he was so old and sad that she almost cried, so she had to take him home.

She is big on manners. Constantly scolding Shou for his lack of them when he moves in with her finally

also she's got the same bluntness and genuineness that Tsubomi has, I think. Actually she has a lot in common with Tsubomi. They are shaking hands. Committed to the people they care about but don't sacrifice their true selves for anything. Etc.

LET HER HAVE A LITTLE GARDEN!!!!!!! She'd love it. She'd talk to her plants to help them grow.

I want to give her a name but I haven't been able to settle on one. Very sad. Hopefully soon?

this feels like me saying a whole lot of nothing. I guess I couldn't get too deep into things because at that point it would feel like I'm inventing a totally different character (because she does not exist in the narrative outside of Narrative Device). Maybe she needs it though. but I fear i cannot do Mob Psycho like ONE can....

[inanator]

The whole Imane Khalif situation really fucking hurts. Not just the racism like everyone is pointing out which it absolutely is but also the fucking transphobia and treatment of her gender.

I have PCOS and have dealt with high testosterone levels for years. It has permanently affected my voice and facial structure and people called me "boy" or "young man" all of puberty until I wore more form fitting clothes. These are things I am immensely insecure about and always made feel like I am faking my femininity, no one believes that I'm a woman. It's a sentiment I'm sure lots of trans women are familiar with and likely have it worse.

Now I see people attacking Khalif for the exact things I'm secure of and just affirming that the world will never see those who fit its narrow definition of womanhood as woman. To them we are ugly, we are men and yeah, it hurts a lot.

I have nothing but empathy for Imane. She is a woman, she should not have to prove this to anyone (no one should) and she deserved her win.

Idk all of this is a bit of a personal ramble. It's a bit more complicated of an issue and I probably don't have authority to talk on it. I just had to get it off my chest.

[luckystarchild]

do you believe in crocomom agenda? in my books crocodile is definitely trans but idk abt crocomom xD a fun theory!

I think it's possible, to be honest! And I agree: Trans!Croc seems more likely to me than full-on Crocomom.

I don't hang a huge amount of emotional stake on either theory, and I won't be disappointed if neither happens. However... there's a weird preponderance of "evidence" (term used loosely) to support the theories of both Trans!Croc and Crocomom, to the point that I can't discount either scenario out of hand, and the latter theory is so WILD that I can't help but hold it near to my heart. Like a pet rock or something.

But as is the custom of my complicated heart, there is a caveat regarding my feelings for even the Trans!Croc theory, not to mention Crocomom.

As a nonbinary, trans-masc leaning person who writes fanfic, I've often pondered writing a self-insert fic set in the OP universe. I realized a long time ago that one of the first things I'd do when transported to the OP-verse is seek out Ivankov and BEG for some gender-affirming intervention via his Devil Fruit. So it'd be cool for me (in a wish-fulfillment way) if Croc turns out to be a trans guy living his best life as the OP world's closest thing to a James Bond villain, with no one questioning his gender or making snide comments about it all the livelong day. "Trans person existing unremarked upon" is a flavor of trans representation I CRAVE, so if it turns out Crocodile is a trans guy whom Ivankov helped achieve his preferred presentation after he had a kid, I'd be pretty happy.

HOWEVER!!!!

I am MUCH LESS THRILLED at the specific Crocomom theory that involves Ivankov changing Croc's biology to female out of spite (or against his will in any way), then changing Croc back after Croc gives birth to Luffy. THAT I would not be happy about, and I've seen more than a few people push that version of the theory online, much to my chagrin. The scene where Ivankov forces something through a sex transition without their consent for the comedy of it is one of my least favorite scenes in the entire series. I'm here for a version of Crocomom/Trans!Croc that is affirming, or nothing at all.

So... yeah. I think it's possible! But if it's true, Oda had BETTER do a good job of it. He's had a spotty track record of trans representation, but with Kiku he made some improvements, so... if Oda dreamed up Crocomom and/or Trans!Croc early on, let's hope he's had time to improve the theory in the years since, especially insofar as it pertains to trans rep.

[givemearmstopraywith]

i kknow this may not be your area of knowledge but do you know why the pope is suddenly saying this stuff re: marxism? hes always been progressive and genuine in his beliefs (same gender stuff, the lunch w the drag queens, etc.) but to outright say "we should befriend communists" is surprising to me. power play? old age? hes also a communist? idk

i was raised catholic and spend most of my time at a jesuit college! it's a complicated issue, but i'll do my best. edit: i also want to say that i am both pro-francis and generally very unhappy with the church in general, so i've tried to be as objective as i can.

pope francis is, first, argentinian, and second, a jesuit. as a south american he knows liberation theology, a marxist-based theology of the poor which developed in south america during the 1980s. because of its association with marxism liberation theology was treated with huge suspicion by the catholic church. cardinal ratzinger, later benedict xvi, wrote a fairly nasty castigation of liberation theology in the 80s- if i find it i'll link it.

this is the context, i believe, of his comments on marxism: it's not only a home ideology for francis, it's more necessary than ever in our current social climate. francis has always been what most catholics would consider a liberally minded pope, he exhibits that fabulous tenet of catholic social teaching called "the preferential option for the poor," and everything he has done during his papacy gestures to this, including his encyclical on climate change, laudato si, and his recent moves towards affirmation of gay and trans people being baptized. even his tour of canada to make formal apologies for residential schools came about for similar reasons: it wasn't perfect, but the reason there hadn't been a formal catholic apology prior to francis was because doctrine around papal infallibility dictates that a sitting pope cannot refute or roll back the statements of a previous pope: an apology for the doctrine of discovery and residential schools would have constituted admitting that a previous pope had been wrong, which is tantamount to admitting that god himself is wrong, since the pope is the representative of god and a direct descendent of the apostle peter. doing as much throws the entire church into a very negative light, but francis apologized anyway- which, again, while deeply imperfect is a huge deal within the church, certainly infuriated a lot of conservatives, even if it seems essentially inadequate to non-catholics.

francis isn't a communist, i don't think, but he is good. he's very apart from what constitutes the majority of the catholic magisterium (ordained members of the church- priests, bishops, cardinals, etc)- a kind of internal division developed after vatican ii, where on one hand you had conservatives who preferred traditionalism, the type of leaders who wanted to keep things QT with the reagan administration who was funding mass murder in nicaraugua- that is, at it's core, the primary reason why liberation theology was rejected when it first emerged, why it has been slow to gain traction in the church. ratzinger was a staunch conservative, and john paul ii was less so; leadership in the church goes through cycles where traditionalists are usually followed by more liberal-minded popes, who appreciate vatican ii for the groundbreaking and monumental achievement that it was rather than acting as if it signified a breakdown of religion.

the other thing is francis being a jesuit: i have a lot of jesuit friends, have gotten most of my theological education from jesuits, and applied to a jesuit college for my phd. jesuits are incredibly socially minded, dedicated consistently to social awareness and justice, and less inclined towards enclosure and privation from the world at large than other orders. they are also dedicated to poverty, like franciscans. the jesuit order is not perfect (they still will not allow a women's jesuit order, and they have a dismal track record of colonialism) but francis is the first jesuit pope and this is a huge deal in terms of the type of theology that his leadership embodies as a result. jesuists are not as a monolith liberal-minded and forward thinking, but they are generally more ready to adapt and evolve catholicism to meet contemporary needs rather than maintainig strict adherence to traditional views at the expense of the body of christ- that is to say, the body of all believers, or all whom god loves, which is everyone. incidentally, leonardo boff, one of the fathers of liberation theology, was also jesuit.

this is a pretty and dirty answer to your question but i hope it makes sense- essentially francis is recognizing that the needs of god's people override that of the church, because god's people are the church equally or more than the magisterium is the church, but it is the magisterium who has been preferred historically. but he has surprisingly little room in which to make moves towards this because of canon law and other doctrines. he's doing his best, though, more than i ever thought i'd see: i appreciate and love him deeply.

[stevie-petey]

hello m i hope you are well. would you believe this was an excellent time for me to read your fic, truly what i needed tonight!! not to get #intoit #toodeep but a blowout fight with my mother puts me right in the headspace to ruminate on childhood and how to carry it inside of you in a way that doesn't hurt.

One thing before i start crying, i love this line so much, "Passenger seat is reserved for girls I’m dating.” passenger princess bug iktr!!!

Steve and bug finally, FINALLY being in a stable place with each other is so beautiful <3. i love them so much. them actually talking about what is happening between them, finally trusting each other enough to be open and vulnerable is tooooo good, espcially since we've seen what it took for them to get here. i am terrified for how this will break down in s4. Steve offering to come back to weathertop when bug is thinking about how she used to come with jon as she's about to lose jon......i love that he's doing that for her and with her <3333. i love that nancy promises bug to take care and keep jon safe. i love that nancy and steve do that for bug and jon. i love that they reassure to be their new person responsible. i also love that weathertop is a special place for both bug and dustin's first loves <3. i love how they keep making places more comfortable for each other. steve making the beatles a beautiful memory again, bug making the flower field into a nice birthday date with her joy about his best birthday gift in the world is really what love is all about. i also really, really loved their conversation about luck and love, and i have a nagging feeling in my mind it will come back in s4 to confront bug as she finally exhales the mountain of grief she is holding onto. i am trying to find the words, because i don't really believe in luck very much, but i do believe in counting your blessings, and the i find the act of counting the blessing of how many people love you, and you get to love back, no matter how it ends in circumstances out of your control, a very brave thing to do. Joyce asking bug to live the life she decides is so special <3. a mother figure who actually knows bug to her core and knows the totality of bug's circumstances and then tells bug that she deserves a happy life is soooooo special and beautiful <33333. i love that joyce gets to be the person who tells her that, especially since joyce herself is so kind despite everything she's been through. i always thought bug would be like joyce when she grew up.

I also really shortly would like to also talk about bug and her guilt. i'm sure this will come up terribly for her in s4, but it really fascinates how much bug takes everything on herself, and i also don't really understand it either, but it does make her very interesting. even taking on the guilt of billy's death when it truly wasn't her fault at all in any way, jesus christ she's like a catholic saint. guilt isn't very logical and i really, truly get that, but i just idk, feel very sad that she feels that way at all, i wish i could talk to her about it.

i also loved this part, "Nancy screams back at you now, insulted that you truly believe she would ever leave her brother behind willingly. She wouldn’t do that. She knows that you know this." st has always been bad at handling the emotional consequences for their characters, but i really wish we got more nancy and mike. they're a complicated relationship because they weren't close before the upside down but obviously they love each other and are siblings, and like bug said, siblings are too strong of a bond to shake off in the worst cases. i wish they got more time in the show to breathe.

Finally i love the way bug's childhood ends softly and not the violent end she was sure of. "Time stands still. You’re seventeen and your childhood is coming to a close." Bug is so lucky to know she's in the good old days when they're happening to her. I don't like jonathan very much, but i appreciate they were kids together. they were almost girls together. having to figure out how to be adults apart is difficult for friends with less complicated histories.

This was a really beautiful story. I hope you know how much richer you make this story, and how much life you breathe into this world.

hi darling <333

passenger seat line ,,, i was DYING to write it for MONTHS !!!! my god it makes me giggle thinking about it. like yes steve pls dub me ur passenger princess <3

you understood the luck and love monologue perfectly. i also really do believe its brave to continue loving everyone and everything around you even in the most grim circumstances. its brave to keep loving even if the love itself has faded. to try again, to be human in doing so, its my favorite thing ever. its why i adore steve n bug so much. theyre trusting one another to love again, to try once more to accept the love theyre scared of. its raw and its tender and its terrifying. loving someone after your first love is i think, personally, the most authentic type of love. its the most vulnerable you will ever be and lowkey why im scared to love again as well.

the joyce and bug scene <333 theyre so special to me. bug really is the daughter joyce never had. she sees so much of herself in bug (and i also 100% picture an older bug just being joyce) and bug loves her like a mother as well. claudia is wonderful, but as you said: she doesnt know what bug has been through like joyce does. all claudia can do is patch up bugs wounds afterwards. its what made the scene so special to me: joyce reads bug so well, shes watched her take care of her boys the whole time shes known her, so for joyce to tell bug that she doesnt blame her ,,, its huge. to be told to live the life you deserve by the woman who you admire heavily is such an impactful thing.

bug and her guilt ,,, whew. youre so right that a lot of her guilt is irrational, thats the whole point. she piles so much on herself (we saw this more in season 2) because she physically cannot help it. its in her bones. she has to help, and in her eyes when her help fails, its her fault regardless of the circumstances. its such a #healthy way to live LMAO (season 4 will ruin her)

JUSTICE FOR THE WHEELERS UR SO RIGHT !!! its always bugged me that we never really see mike and nancy being siblings. nancy wasnt really concerned for mike (who had just lost his best friend mind you) in season 1 until WAY after he had gotten into so much shit. i hate the way the siblings are written, we so rarely get to see them be concerned for one another :(

and finally the goodbye scene. sigh. ive had her in my mind since we started season 2. i love her dearly, and the line with bug saying her and jon were more than just kids will stick with me forever. for some gnarly m lore: my first love and i were childhood best friends. when we broke up and severed all contact (because im insane), it truly did feel like my childhood had come to a close. it was terrifying. there i was, 19 and grieving, and i didnt know how to be someone without my ex. i wanted to portray that fear with jon and bug. when you grow up with someone, when this person knows everything about you, and they suddenly leave, its the most painful and confusing thing. i cannot explain it. but knowing that my childhood lives in my ex boyfriend, the same way his lives in me, even though we havent spoken in almost two years ,,, it haunts me, and yet oddly its comforting.

i was a kid with him. somewhere, a piece of me still is. im still that kid he met when we were 14, and hes still that kid to me, and i think its beautiful :)

[nwarrior777]

Hello! I wanted to say that I have been in love with your art for some years now and kinda think of you as a teacher when it comes to self-love and drawing/generally showing fat people in media! So I'm seeking your advice on this topic if that doesn't bother you... (tw fatphobia from people)

There is one fandom character who I love and accociate myself with a bit, so I really want to draw them fat, but most of the people think it's "not logical" for him to be fat, and all of the fanart of him are thin (despite the original book never stating this). And this fandom already has another character for who it's more "logical" to be fat but I want that specific one because he is so dear to me. I also want to cosplay this character but people told me I'm "too fat" to do it :( So I want to hear your opinion about this because it's very important to me!

Oh hello!

Big honor to hear such a thing about teacher! And very big letter, oh! Always happy to get it. But it is big responsibility to answer on that!

And oh i wrote a whole poem so i put it under the cut.

So first thing first, very important thing i want to say (it's like, in general) - please don't idolize me and don't put on pedestal.

Don't treat me like biggest authority - but like a soldier next to you in battle. It needed, for if you for some reason will find me not pleasant as a person, my words which describes my, very not individual, believes, would not be sticked to me as individual in your mind. Believes (about we need to strive to world of care, comfort and kindness in all aspects of life) which i belong to is much more than me. And i am just a human. Who can do mistakes, who can have opinions which you like next to some you disagree. I am sorry for being too poetic (i just went off from writing poem session) but i love line from Aurora song "you can give up on me, [but] never give up on Love", yeah, this line describes that i am trying to say perfectly. I hope you got the idea.

To the point!

So, of course i want to say that, "logical" fat character is an outdated thing of mindset, of course i am all in and routing for you in this desire to draw and cosplay character you like as fat. I mean? For people passing by not knowing context - i am the guy who draws fat only characters for near a decade. In any scenario and plot, in my drawings they are all fat (well in 0.00000000001% character on my art is skinny. and it's usually someone near fat character). It's like i am a little reversed tv - any type of shows but all characters are fat. Why? - because in big tv (mass media) there is * no * fat characters. Ok, they are sometimes are but it's 0.00000000001% chance and you all know how creators treat them. And i choosed it as my art goal to shift the balance and bring people art where they recognize themselves, drawn in a gorgeous way, and feel happy.

But here is the thing: experience and surroundings of each is different. I can't just shout "yeah, go go show your pride don't be scared and shy!" to someone who surrounded by things which take this someone caged, and someone who still breaking cages in their mind. So it is a little complicated. I am all in, i think your drawings of this character is gorgeous and your cosplay is gorgeous and you are gorgeous (i didn't see you or your art, but i don't need it to say this). But i can't guarantee that others reaction will be positive-only (considering someone already being rude about cosplay) But i have thought on this too

If to look on my experience, as something that can be. Shared, I can share a bit of my "secrets" of being so free. at least by mind and art.

First - i have very specific mindset which i worked very hard very long time. I have my main values and everything in my life i judge by this. The core of this is thought, ( VERY simplified version. i am rotating this since my idk, 16, i am 27, it * is * more complicated than that) - "does it hurt anyone? no? good. other things are bad".

That guy wears dress. Anyone hurt? No. Good then

That guy is gay. Anyone would be hurt by their wedding? No. Good.

Painting of a flower which drawn """ugly""" or """ unskillfull""" by a person who hold pen first time? Give it to me it will be on my wall, it's cool drawing

millions money wasted on expedition to take away real iceberg getting it on town square only for it to melt to say "hey it was performance about climate change. did you know icebergs are melting?" - bad bad bad i would slap that dude in the face. i mean melting iceberg to say about problem of melting icebergs? could you just make an ice sculpture from dirty water in a shape of a globe or smth, pretentious fuсker-

So yes. I have strong moral core in mindset. I went through big journey of self body acception and now i am in full love of my body. I deep dived into disability side of insta blogers, and never honestly been on conservative beauty blogers side of internet. i see so much different people now, it completely vanished my if existed, fear, in terms of looks (i mean some experiences can be struggling and painfull which a bit of hard to deal with in my life context, but, we are about appearance here) - burns, amputations, whatever, all people beautifull for me no matter how they look. Including me.

Also i was very soon went into friendly (queer mostly) places, and my friends are kind people. I was growing in era of bodypositive getting popularity and people got on two sides - i went into bodypositive one and mostly i was around people who would never used "fat" as assoult.

But there was negative. Comments, someone even could write me in DM. Sometimes, at first i think i even cried, but then i remember some comments and one dm which i just laugh at. My friends were supporting me, and, the artist which was sort of first in my place in my location, who got even more hate, was on same side so i just. I don't know why i kept going. But i know why i still do - i wrote above

So it leads me to the point where i am: I am super confident in that i do. I know it is right thing - for me one smile, one "omg i never seen myself in art and this is literally me" is bigger than all hate i can get. I know that representative art do not harm but spread Love and comfort, and hateful comments hurt, so i know who is right here. I am confident about my body - i know that i can't cause harm by the way i look, rude comments - can, so i am again know exactly who is right. I don't pay attention for haters - people who lives driven by hate are so behind, that i just don't notice their echoes. Because i am too busy living in the world of Love, being with people who i like, complimenting each other and creating beautifull things of Care with people who do the same.

Also i have last secret: my skill. I don't believe in skill in art as quality concept, i love everything and honestly i love """ unskilled"""" art more with special warmth Love. But i am drawing my entire life and i have my techniques, which somehow lead me to that situation that my drawings could be seen in some concept art artbooks. But i refuse to give my power for industries and choose to give it to representative art and i Love it. But here comes the funny situation with this:

that awfull drama hater blogers, who takes """ unskillfull""" art of people without asking and laugh on it, who laughs on artist who make character headcanons like, disabled, or fat, or that respectfull redisign thing. That haters specifically take """"""""" bad""""""" art for their videos. Because in their values if art is skillfully drawn - it is cool art, and they judge only by that often. It is values which are in their core, conservative and not reflected, so with that it's also slapping with them not understanding importance of joy of experiment and being open to new in art. They don't see other parts of thing, they don't see context, they see only visuals and how good it at working with rules they were taught.

For these haters, a drawing of fat fav character made by man with affected motoric skills is a cause for big laughs. And a character number 1000076864578 made on base of one slim model with same female face, rendered in semi realism on promo of new (same and old) sucking money game is a masterpiece. For me it's totally opposite.

I even have a theory on why i am still not in one of these drama video. (well, part of) is that i have "pro" skill. What can they laugh on in my art? How they will say it? How they will laugh on art which is, by pro standard, better than theirs (i describing their believes, i don't judge art by visual, only by my moral system described above) "Their characters are fat!!!!" . So? "They change characters!!!" - and? I lied, i have another secret - characters for me are instrument. "I love to play with jpegs" - my common phrase.

I don't care about "lore reasons". "but this character did-", no he didn't do anything. he doesn't exist as being capable of thinking. all of his " did " are written actions by creators, and guess who i am (also creator) and guess that i can do (also write actions for jpegs). " but this character is slim-". yeah. in that image. i did another image and he is fat in it. Headcanons and au like playing dolls to me, it's super fun, and people who thinks that d***@#*""sney one model face designs are sacred, are, again, too far behind for hearing their echoes

So, that's my freedom in art and mind: i love my art, my body, i love that i opened in myself power to see beauty in every people appearance, my power to see beauty in others art and joy of playing with art. But it's me, with my context.

I have friendly surroundings, i have support, i have friends and audience, i am (kind of? in the niche, i guess) popular, i am confident in myself, i am confident in my art and my core values. I am near decade doing such art - it's contradicting mass media, but i found my support boubble, and this is my everyday life and norm to me now. And i am I totally understand that it can be scary to do something contradicting such thing as opinion on fat characters in mass media at first, then you don't have this long path behind shoulders or support, or rude people around. Negative comments can happen and it can be sad

But! I just want you to know that you have so much paths. If you feel shy and not confident - try to show this art with that fat character to friends who you are sure will support you. Or some friendly chat. Chats dedicated to fandoms who treat fat characters well are good choice. Surround yourself with support if you are not confident - someone need to be with you in case some rude people will be against. Cosplay, too - if you shy or not confident i would reccomend to try first with friends - making, photoes or going to convention. Then you feel comfortable in your confidence, you can post. Or you can not post. Or you can draw it in your sketchbook only. Or post in private little blog. Or, by the way - you can post and not tag him to main tittle tag. Even i did like this at first with my fat astarion. Before i understood people love my art of him. It's for your choice. And, it seems like now we have to post everything online on main, we actually don't have to. We can decide what to post or not, and what to keep to ourselves, and then we ready to post if we want. Open your own privacy room inside your chest. Don't feel pressured and post then you feel comfy.

Important thing to the end which i want to say is, that, this is why i make art in this way: for change, for showing that alternative on mass media image of this theme can be and exist. For people see themselves, for people thinking they are beautiful, realistic features are beautifull, to bring that beauty of people and world of Love into art.

For me some artists were first too, before me, in this. And sometimes even i afraid. I have opinions which i see people, who both on my side, are arguing on and i am afraid to bring my word. Because i don't see examples of that my takes in art. I am afraid to do something which will cause more drama than Love. I am too, sometimes afraid to be first or do something new.

So, i can't say to you what to do with your life and that decisions to make. But i can say your art and cosplay will be gorgeous and i don't need to see it to say it, and i will continue to fight my art fight for people like you to feel more comfortable about their bodies and art

❤

[phoenixyfriend]

@jewishdainix commented on this post:

The thing is, israel must be dismantaled because it is built on xenophobia, nationalism and subjeugation of palestinians. I agree with you on the worry of jewish safety, but that needs to be done by fostering and building communities of both nations of people, where both are welcome and safe, not by keeping an opressive colonialist state with no interest in equality or peace in power.

And Im saying this as a jew who lives in occupied palestine, btw. I know co-existing eont come out of nowhere, but it can be built.

(New post because the original is very long.)

Thank you for commenting! Most of the commentary I'm getting seems to be from people who are as removed from the conflict as I am.

I think a major factor in the discussion that stemmed from my initial response to the first "r u pro Palestine" question was that I was... well, very tired and not running on all cylinders, for one, but also in an intersection of Tumblr that sees a lot of half-baked political reblogs where people just... share things they either don't know ANYTHING about or don't realize how much is our isn't propaganda.

I am not immune to propaganda, especially the subtler kind, as evidenced by my having to adjust my understanding of the Yemen situation.

But the thing is that like... that intersection means I've seen a LOT of takes that are extreme (like Hamas and the Houthis being entirely right about Israel and how to handle it, or that even the children in Israel, by virtue of being Israeli, are guilty) as well as a lot of people who are supporting extreme solutions without really thinking things through?

Like, the majority of the people I see talking about Dismantling Israel seem to be in favor of doing so quickly and without regard to what happens to the people there, Because They're The Bad Guys, or because they just don't realize that this is the sort of thing that takes time and management to do safely.

Like... when I see so many people parroting things with an underlying tone of hate and malice towards even the civilians, it makes me concerned that any expression of support for a position like "dismantle Israel" will be taken as support by both "do so slowly and responsibly with an aim towards integration and safety for all" AND the "boot out all the jews" sides, because when the first question is only four words, I can't also answer in only four words, because political slogans are never JUST what they actually mean.

That said, the discussion over the past few days definitely has me sympathizing more with the Dismantle argument, but I do wonder about how it would be enforced, and by whom. Like, the Israeli government has made it pretty clear they have no interest in ceasefire, let alone a dismantling, so... does the UN get involved? NATO? Is the US sent in to undo Israel, the way they're trying to undo things like the Houthi government (as I've been told they're functionally the government of 70% of Yemen)? What gives us people of the world the right to choose interventionism in Israel but not Yemen or Iran?

Just cutting US aid from Israel opens the doors to Hamas and Houthi and associated groups "managing" the dismantling, which is the situation I expressed so much concern over in the previous post, so that's not an option. It looks like we do need the UN to be involved if that goal of Dismantling to build something new is possible, but that's interventionism, which is bad because it violates self-determination, except when it's not bad because there's mass murder happening, except when it's still bad even though the mass murder already happened, and...

IDK

It's so complicated and I WANT to believe there's a solution but the political philosophy and practical implications are kind of. A necessary consideration even when the ethics are clear cut.

[ilaosi]

weird question, but since ur a zombie I need some help!

okay, so I'm writing about zombies and such and the actual physical symptoms of zombism are like vague. super vague.

I was wondering what your experience was?

idk wikipedia and all them are uselessssss, and I thought asking a zombie would just be easier than going and looking for 16th century whatevers.

so, if you don't mind what was it like? what sorts of symptoms did you have?

anyway thank you for reading your awesome!!!

omg hi im a bit late but this ask makes me so happy i love talking abt this stuff !!! :D i'd like to preface by saying i experience my kintypes in a way that sounds a lot like a past life but i don't consider that to be the case, i believe my memories are from some version of me in other universes/realities.

soo my response might not be the most helpful because i don't think i experience zombism in the way most ppl think of it? i wasn't infected or anything, i died a (somewhat) natural death & the next thing i knew i was kind of unknowingly digging myself out of my grave. i don't know how or why i was resurrected, if someone else did it, if i did it myself, if it was some kind of divine intervention, no clue. in the world i remember, zombies were a known phenomenon that hadn't yet been explained by science.

living people reacted to us in a lot of different ways, some kind of worshiped us and treated us like we were chosen by the gods or otherwise special, but most just thought it was weird/gross and tried to avoid us. a few ppl wanted to get rid of us because it was "unnatural and contagious" (it couldn't actually be transmitted like a disease, in my world at least), there was even a group of ppl who denied our existence entirely. it was also pretty common for medical students to (consensually, most of the time) practice their skills on zombies, kind of like they do in this world with corpses, but we were more convenient because it was really hard to kill us and we didn't really experience much pain, plus we could heal (to an extent), and we were pretty much immune to infection & other complications/side effects. i think it was also a way of gathering information for research since there wasn't much known about us or how/why we existed.

as for the symptoms & what it felt like - i remember when i first crawled out of the dirt the main thing i noticed was that my body was completely still. my heart didn't beat, the blood didn't flow in my veins, i didn't particularly feel the need to breathe or blink. i was just as disabled in that world as i am in this one, but after i died some of my disabilities didn't really affect me anymore. i wasn't in horrible pain in the way i usually am, i just felt like all of my skin was slightly bruised and there was a dull ache all over my body but it was easy to ignore, and my bones felt,, empty? my brainfog/dissociation got a lot worse though. all of my senses felt much more dull but i definitely still had them. it took more pressure for me to feel things touching my skin, my vision was cloudy and less colorful, i couldn't really smell or taste most things other than meat, blood, decay, dirt, mildew, etc. other smells/tastes would have to be really strong/intense for me to pick up on it at all. i was dead for about 3? days before i emerged, and i was buried in winter, so decomposition hadn't totally taken over yet. i did continue to decompose after that, but eventually i figured out that keeping myself fed (primarily with non-human brain matter & insects) would stop that process and sometimes even reverse the effects of it to an extent. if i went too long without feeding or if i fed on the wrong things too often i would feel really sick and my skin would get even more flaky. sometimes huge chunks of skin or even small body parts would fall off, but they could be successfully reattached by any doctor who was willing to work with zombies.

visually/appearance wise - i was more pale and my skin had a kind of light-grey-green-ish tint to it. the parts of me that fell off and had to be reattached ended up looking more purple-pink-ish for a while, but usually they'd go back to the grey-green color eventually. the whites of my eyes were more blue & my irises were dark grey. my veins were more visible through my skin and they were a lot darker, almost black. my natural hair color is brown and before i died i had my hair dyed black, afterwards the color just never faded and my hair didn't grow anymore so it didn't change much, but the areas where my roots were showing turned grey.

i can't rly think of any other specific things to talk about but if u have more questions or if u want more clarification on something i said here feel free to send another ask!!!

[lottieurl]

yeah. yeah. and i feel like people really.... idk. they view lottie lee as something more... wholesome? than the other yj ships because like yes laura lee is dead. but while that preserves her "goodness" in lottie's eyes because she dies selflessly and before they start really crossing those morally transgressive lines together and she dies on good terms with everyone like... people don't see nearly as much how the natural progression of that relationship would've been just as complicated and bad for both parties despite being grounded in love, the same way most other yj ships are. AND how like. laura lee's good intentions and desire to do good in the world and her faith lead to lottie beginning on her path to girl prophet and girl godhood AND laura lee's deliberate public undermining of coach ben lead to what little remained of his authority officially being shattered like. even though she remains "good" in death in not only lottie's eyes because she died before things got really bad, but also in the audience's, like... laura lee's good intentions really initiated the chains of events that lead the yjs to where they end up, which i rarely see acknowledged? and even less do i see acknowledged how that would naturally progress if she lived longer. something so so tragic about laura lee's earnest faith and love and good intentions leading to. all this. she gets to remain good and innocent in death in the audience's eyes and most importantly in lottie's eyes but even then. those comforting, well-intentioned words are, at least in some part, the reason lottie ends up in the position she does with the weight of expectations that she does and eventually with the intense guilt that she does. it starts with the guilt from laura lee's death, but each subsequent guilty feeling also starts with laura lee's words being the very first to start to lift her up on that pedestal where she's responsible for what happens in those woods in the first place. anyway. i am normal about yellowjackets and lottie matthews and her relationships. -cannibal laura lee anon DJFGLS

YES LITERALLY AND ALSO. i feel like in terms of denying her moral complexity it's similar to jackie. they die before they're forced to make those really fucked up choices! they die before things truly spiral out of control! well jackie doesn't really because she's there for doomcoming but she's the only one who ISN'T unintentionally drugged by misty lmao like they're spared those influences and circumstances and so we are left with only assumptions about what they'd do. but especially with laura lee it's like... because she IS a good and kind person people don't seem to realize how potentially dangerous her conviction can be in the right circumstances. she's incredibly strong willed, she has confidence that jackie lacks and she seemingly rejects any authority - at least in the wilderness - that isn't connected to her faith. and i absolutely adore laura lee i Love her i want to hug her but she very much has this like. christian entitlement (i think one of the girls who die in the plane crash has the last name that suggests she might be jewish and yet i think it's laura lee who leads this sort of christian themed funeral for her? and like even if she simply doesn't realise which i believe is the case it's still that very specific christian entitlement) and does push her faith onto others in ways that kind of suck! she's kind and she's sweet but telling someone you know isn't religious that they're "beautiful in the eyes of the lord" is actually quite shitty like fbsjdjs i love her but she's not an angel and her faith and conviction already HAD a dark side to it and that could get much worse if she survived

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

Hi, I just need some nice words and someone who listens and doesn't judge.

Complicated life-story etc. at some point I suspected I am a system so I was doing a lot of listening inside myself, writing down symptoms that could indicate it etc. It is still not super certain to me, there is no communication to any alter that I would swear isn't just a thought-voice. But I am relatively certain and can I say, happy about it? I once sent in an ask here and you said "If you think you'd profit from being a system, you most likely are one" and this has really stuck with me and elevated a lot of my guilt, because I would feel better if I was a system.

And here comes the problem: I started therapy for CPTSD, and my therapist doesn't know about my suspense (yet). Last week, she made an allegory (or metaphor? Help) about one of my symptoms. It is one of the symptoms I use as (internal) "proof" for my DID-suspence.

She said: "When you are very angry (i.e.) you might see the world completely different, as if you'd wear colorful tinted glasses." And it was literally the same example I would use when describing it to myself. (When I was a child, my uncle gifted me orange-tinted glasses, and I wore them the whole winter when I was feeling low because it was so dark outside. I tricked myself into believing there is sun. So, this literal example is so close to me).

But like, I literally feel like another person, that I can't really relate to, their though-processes etc, sometimes I feel completely seperated from it and can just watch and wonder (and cringe and try to stop myself).

But since she explained this symptom as normal trauma symptom, with literally the same image, I am questioning myself again. I mean, at the end of the day, I do have DID or not. But just the thought that it might not be the case makes me feel so lonely and vulnerable.. Idk...

Hi anon,

Regardless of whether or not you are a system, those who are first considering the possibility of being plural will not have good communication with any of their parts if at all, and many times parts don't feel comfortable making themselves known until much inner exploration is done. It's not like a light switch where suddenly you can see all your parts and communicate back and forth with complete clarity. That's a muscle that needs to be exercised slowly over time.

I understand that fear of being alone inside. You've been through so much that it's daunting to think about having to process that all by yourself. Being a part of a larger network of parts helps distribute the weight and responsibility more evenly, giving you a fraction of relief. Of course you'd want that. It's hard to consider the possibility that you really are the only one, and it must be frustrating that the answer remains unclear.

It's been about a month since I was diagnosed with OSDD (still trying to comprehend that), and I'm by no means a professional, but I resonate with a lot of what you shared. If you can, I do recommend getting a professional opinion about all of this, especially someone who is experienced or specialized in dissociative disorders (that can be kinda hard to find). They can give you a much more educated opinion and could even evaluate you for OSDD or DID if that's something you're considering.

I also don't know if I suggested this to you in the past but the CDD discord server is a great place to ask plural-related questions and reassurance. Thosey are always happy to help people figure out what's going on in their brains and whether or not an experience is a system thing or not.

I hope I could help. You're welcome in our inbox anytime.

-Bun

[secondchoice-ragdoll]

Am I the only one who is a little sad that the moment Trixie was single she didn't take a second look at Katya and immediately went to the ex? She could've given her a chance. And I wonder how K really feels now that she wants kids. I know she doesn't want them herself, but I'm afraid this will change things between them and I really really hope they don't.

ugh okay first of all: im totally w u and i a 100% see ur point. these have crossed my mind too, and i can easily get to a place where these topics make me sad for a while. but genuinely i dont think we should worry too much abt any of it. at the end all i want is for them to be happy, no matter how that looks like🤝

on a further note, we cant be like *actually* sure abt any of what is going on? like yes it seems pretty clear, and it might as well be exactly as we think it is, its all spelled out, isnt it? its really just that we were the ones who spelled it out, and not T, or any other person who is practicipating in the situation. all im saying is that i wouldnt advise anyone to bet on whats going on w T rn (if for nothing else then just out of respect), and im sure eventually we will hear either a confirmation or a fully different story that will clear things up.

specualtion is free tho, and also pretty interesting, so as long as we keep it kinda hush-hush i think its okay that we entertain ourselves w these anecdotes. like im totally in, and i do think *the* ex is now truly an ex, like that much id even dare to place a bet on. the rest is just questionmarks😭😭😭 like i could see this new guy being actually something, or just a rebound-fling, or just a friend(?). and its also possible that he is the old ex, and then i do have even more questions, but the bar is under a frog's ass after the last guy, so im appriciative towards anyone who is slightly better than him, and it would appear to be a true challenge to be worse than him💀 sooo idk i do believe yall that that guy on the pics is really old KY guy, im just not sure if they r friends or fwb or dating or a secret fourth option? doesnt matter as long as T is okay and having fun. (also, i do think she could have spent some time being single IF she is in a relationship again, but hey, anything is better than how we were around a year ago, no? and as long as a guy doesnt treat her like shit im happy for her!!!) ((and yes. i am really sad miss K got looked over again if thats the case. even if i dont think we will ever get to live in a world they r actually legit dating. in another universe for sure. but in this one? too many hangups. these creatures cant even fucking talk abt the fact that they'd like to hang out more tgthr. like..... be fr😭 they r stooooopid, and thats okay. its sad, its tragic, but its okay, and they have a really special relationship regardless of whether they ever go that far or dont. there is always hope, and even if they fall out now, maybe they need it to break and actually confront the fact that they want to hang out? like there r so many ways for things to go. soooo many. i could sit here and spin this wheel on for hours with no end, i promise. i do think it could have happened in like 2020-2023? maybe even beginning of 24. but as things stand now... eeeh i think it wouldnt be such a clean cut, but they do tend to do things the more complicated way, at least thats how it seems to me. the thing is that they r such complex ppl and they have so many motives that i could make literal lists about what their excuses might be (such as work, but now that T says it doesnt matter that much maybe it changes, or such as age, or what-ifs, or fear of ruining what they have, or thinking that maybe they have missed their chance, new/old confidence issues, mental health states? ...these two...). on the other hand, do we really think K got looked over? Ts literal god? im not so sure, but only time will be able to tell wtf has been going on.))

i see ur concern, and yeah change is fucking scary, especially if such comforting things change. but u see, this could be exactly one of their hangups too. things keep changing no matter what, all we can do is hope they both r okay and happy and nice parts of each other's lives.

i understand that T keeps speaking abt wantimg kids, and sure, pop off! but like, i reaaaally doubt she would be actually having kids this year? like i feel like its maybe a new thing for her to think of having kids as an actual possibility she considers for her future, thus she speaks abt it openly since its one of the things she is interested in now! but like, having a kid is not this quick of a process, even a pregnancy takes 9 months😭😭 and also im pretty sure that her life isnt at a place where she could pick up a kid tomorrow and just go on and be her best self as a parent and i feel like she must be aware of that? T and K would both be at least okay parents, thats for sure!! but like, considering Ts past year... yeah i dont think it will be such a quick happening. once, in a few years, sure! even in 2, why not! but not tomorrow. she'd do fine as a single parent, she'd do fine w a partner, it will be fine, just really not as soon as some ppl r concerned it might be😭 let her just get that birdie first, i think that could be a logical and nice next step!

finally, i really dont think K would have such a problem w children? (even if she did, dont u think shed make an exception for T? im pretty sure she'd do almost anything for/with T.) like she absolutely adores her nephew as far as i know, so im certain she wouldnt delete T's contact info if/when she had a kid. im pretty sure T wouldnt block Ks number either just bc she became a parent, she also seems to know how nice K is to kids despite not necessarily getting them (see: her gifting a lot of money to her nephew's, like, 4th bday? but i could argue that thats a great gift, just more long term great😭). and what if T gets that kid and eventually calls K for help (more likely for herself and not the kid, but this is besides the point), and then K does help, and then they spend even more time together with this newfound excuse, and they realise how well they function as a family, and then they can finally move in together and be lesbians and be disgustingly in love and live happily ever after??? what then???? anyways, my point is that even if they r in a tiny bit of a divitation i highly doubt it would be due to T wanting a kid. i think its more that they both were afraid during T's break that if they reached out more they would annoy the other one, bc "omg what if she needed a break from me too???" (like. T needed a break from her god. and K needed a break from the person who tethers her to this earth. sure jan. emotionally they do have some challenges, thats certain!). and maybe they need to drift a bit apart to then get back together and be even closer (if that is scientifically even possible). things arent as linear and easy as we would like them to be, and since our perspective is and outside one, im pretty sure that from their pov it seems or at least feels sooooo much more complicated. while i just sit on the floor and go "just date ffs its not that hard!!4!4 look back footage of ur faces while u look at eachother!!! thats all u need!!44!", and we r both right! it is very complicated but it could also be manageable. (what i think might be more painful here is if T has the kid w a partner, bc that seems pretty, uh, *certain*, or unchangable, final? obvi its not ***that*** drastic, but it is a bigger deal. so yeah, but i stand by my op that none of this will happen in the blink of an eye, we'll see as it unfolds ig and hope for smth real nice)

[cchapsticck]

20 Fic Writer Questions

@dreamwatch tagged me and I have been so slammed at work but the show is open now and am able to look at my tags.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

11!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

146,941

3. What fandoms do you write for?

On this account its been Stranger Things, Baldur's Gate 3 and Critical Role - because we're sticking to a Dungeons and Dragons adjacent theme completely not on purpose.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

UNTITLED RECORDING rcd ca. 1987-1988 ANACRUSIS ca. 1987 head line sunflower broke wait, runner

5. Do you respond to comments?

I sincerely try to! I get them pretty infrequently so I'm always so tripping over myself to say something in response and surely sound like a total dipshit when I do. I know there are a few in my inbox I haven't responded to yet because work has my free time in a vice grip at the moment.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh surely dog at the door - the ending was always intended to be vague and open to interpretation but I cannot imagine any good faith interpretation to the ending is like. good. Runner up is probably of or pertaining to the body, which only takes the runner up status because its an elaboration on canon events that are objectively harrowing, versus with dog where I have engineered speculative misery for the express purpose of being miserable.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

head line, I think, is my only published fic with an unambiguously optimistic ending. I think there's been hope and happiness in my other fics, but not without caveats or as of yet unaddressed emotional complication in the futures of those stories. idk does that even make sense?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not so far as I know but who knows, maybe there are corners of the internet talking mad shit what do I know?

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I have said it before and I will say it again, I feel like one of my greatest failings as a writer is my inability to write smut without cringing myself inside out. I just don't think I'm any good at it. Smut lives in my heart though.

10. Do you write crossovers?

I suppose it depends on what one's definition of a crossover is? Like where's the line between an AU and a crossover? One time I wrote a DnD ST AU that includes no established WotC DnD NPCs but all of its world building, is that a crossover? Or does a crossover only constitute as a crossover as a matter of disparate series characters interacting? I have questions.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

lmao aint no on reading my business I cannot imagine anyone would be so moved to do so

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don't believe so, but I also haven't looked into it.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I've definitely worked on collaborative projects before, they all exist in various states of planning or semi-publication or DM hollering. I enjoy it, its like playing toys with your friends.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

It really depends what I'm in the mood for? Vibes wise lol? I have a handful of ships that I constantly rotate around in my brain like a rotisserie chicken that re-enter the hyperfocus zone on a semi regular schedule. Ask my about my forevergirl ships.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

lol could be any of them tbh

16. What are your writing strengths?

lmao lol even I'm so bad at self praise this is a nightmare. I like to think I have a deft hand with character voice, I like to think my writing feels generally grounded, lived in?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I really lack rigor, I think, when it comes to writing. I get discouraged by writers block very easily, I make it very easy for myself to walk away from a project. Which, I know isn't inherently a bad thing - some things just don't work out, or you don't have the time for that kind of commitment etc - but I often feel like there is a necessary momentum that I lose that just makes my creative endeavors just stagnate and I really struggle to manufacture that momentum for myself when it starts to diminish.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I think it depends, I think there are contexts where it's appropriate and contexts where its inappropriate. For me it boils down to like, one's ability to use the language authentically and grammatically, if the language being potentially inscrutable to the reader is part of the need of the use of another language - textually, does it feel authentic to the way multi-lingual speakers communicate, etc etc etc.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I think the first fic I wrote with the intent of public consumption was KHR? I think?

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Hm. This answer changes from time to time depending on how I'm feeling about my work in general, but I think right now sunflower broke is holding that top slot. It got me back into writing, it made me realize how much fun writing Eddie's character was for me, the themes that sort of preoccupy me about him floated to the surface there. Just a little scratch of the surface with that one.