#I don’t want to take in commissions just for the money. I genuinely want to give my best and not give something half assed.

[seventh-district]

Are you sad? Are you miserable? Is your life falling apart? Is your body falling apart? Does your head feel like it’s full of cotton, or perhaps TV static? Does it feel like the world is crumbling around you? Is it getting harder to force yourself through the daily motions? Is happiness getting increasingly harder to find?

Why not consider making a large, hyperfixation-fueled impulse purchase?

They won’t tell you this, but all of the happiness and satisfaction you’re searching for, along with each of those little chemicals that make your brain feel good, are all hidden within your very next large, hyperfixation-fueled impulse purchase!

So why don’t you go on ahead and grab that credit card, throw caution to the wind, and chase that good feeling? You certainly won’t regret it. No one has ever regretted making a large, hyperfixation-fueled impulse purchase! Never!

[pepprs]

mutuals i got myself into a situation so sticky i don’t even know how to describe it (edit: *describes it* lol). please send thoughts of successful escape my way lol

[cyberphuck]

Couple weeks ago my friend sent me a link to @vaspider shop with their promotion for a buy one get one free on hot/cold packs:

Razz loves to spread the word about shops they buy from, especially small businesses or shops owned and operated by queer people. I did not need a popcorn scented heat pack, so I did not buy anything, but they did.

Tonight I got these messages: 



Emails, you say? Let’s see…

I just want you guys to know that this last line, “after this interaction I can no longer in good conscience promote your work or buy from you,” is akin to burning your crops and salting your fields coming from Razz. They are the most polite person I know. They do not want to stir up trouble. Part of it is because, as a blind person, they have had to learn to be non-confrontational in order to protect themselves, but it’s also because Razz is just genuinely a kind hearted and understanding person.

They live off of disability and occasional commissions, but they use what little money they have to support small businesses and independent artists because they appreciate the quality as well as the work that goes into each item. You can see here that Raz was trying to figure out if it was a genuine misunderstanding on their part because they hadn’t read the site correctly.

They were not able to read the site correctly because they’re blind.

This isn’t really about a misunderstanding, or Razz wanting to get the other item. It’s about Vaspider immediately treating them with contempt when Razz sent an email asking what had gone wrong. Is it the businesses responsibility to eat the cost of shipping due to someone not being able to understand the terms of the sale? It’s certainly good business practice, but I think Razz would have understood if they had been told that it would cost the store too much for another item to be sent if Vaspider hadn’t been such an asshole about it.

Razz is, unfortunately, used to disappointment. They are used to having to struggle to navigate websites that are not made with people like them in mind. They are even, at this point, used to having to lose money on things due to brain damage suffered from being forced into a botched medical procedure last year. But that isn’t how they opened this conversation. They opened with, “I think something may have gone wrong, can you help me understand what happened? “

The way Vaspider treated my friend is disgusting. I hope that those of you reading this will take Vaspiders behavior in this exchange into account when you’re deciding where to spend your money. The next time that you see one of their posts, a link to their store, or receive an email about a sale, I hope that you remember these emails and recall how Vaspider treats people that they don’t think are important. I want you to think about whether the group of people that Vaspider considers to be worthless might include you. 

I know that there are a lot of people willing to come to Vaspiders defense because they’re well-known and popular. They are so well-known and popular that they’re willing to treat one of their customers like garbage over $10 in shipping, and they’re willing to do it right out in the open for everyone to see.

Happy holidays, and eat a big old bag of dicks. 

Let’s fucking go.

[ghoulsgraveyard]

Mattress Shopping

a/n: oops! all fluff! I wrote this one while not high and You Can Tell. this is a very soft fic, very domestic. It takes place in the same universe as Animal Instinct and is a direct sequel, but there is no piss kink, only references to it. content warnings: mentions of sex and violence, allusions to piss (hilarious phrase), emotional hurt/comfort. word count: 2k part 1

You were about to head back up to your apartment when Logan took your hand and started walking towards his car. “Lo, where are we going?” He looks at you, confused. “I thought you said you wanted to go mattress shopping?” Logan hated shopping. It was loud and crowded and too bright. It always took too long. But Logan also loved you. And he loved you more than he hated shopping. “You don’t have to come if you don't want to, I know you don't like shopping.” Logan opens your door for you before heading around to the driver's seat “I’ll be using the thing too.” he states “Besides, there are worse things I could be doing than spending the day with you” he grumbles out afterwards as he starts the car. You practically melt into the seat. It never gets old, his loving you. You’ll cherish these acts of love every single time. “You sap” you say with a giggle. “Yeah yeah, dont go telling people that.” he starts the car with a wink towards you. After hours of sterile lights and crackling top 40 hits, you and Logan had successfully found a mattress. The incredibly persistent salesman changed his tune very quickly after the third time he tried to upsell you and Logan had unsheathed his claws. “W-would you like to use our delivery and installation service?” he said shakily, one last attempt to up his commission. Logan had enough. “Listen pal, I don't need to throw money away on something I can do myself. I got two arms and two legs. Just give me the goddamned mattress” he was not loud, but he was also not fucking around.

After loading the mattress into the back of the car you were on your way back. “Thank you for coming with me” you smile at him and he furrows his brow “why?” he grunts out, eyes on the road. “You made mattress shopping better.” you tease, he lets out a humorless chuckle “Honey i was grumpy and threatened a salesman. I made that experience worse, not better.” You frown at this. “I don't think you did. You certainly got us a better deal on that mattress.” you look over to him, his frown still prominent.

 “Logan, you make everything better. Sometimes I feel like you don’t realize that I don't just love you, I like you. Like fundamentally, as a person, I genuinely enjoy being in your presence. I like to spend time with you logan. You’re grumpy and a little mean, you drink and you smoke and I love you all the same. You’re who I want to be with. You’re my person, you’re who I choose. There is no one I would rather go mattress shopping with.” 

He doesn’t have anything to say to that. What could he even say to that? How do you tell someone that they have shifted your sense of self? How does he begin to describe how your love has changed him? How could it not change him? He’s lived his whole life hating himself. his thoughts, his actions, to the very essence of his core, his soul, his being, he hated himself. Everything he touched he ruined, every person he loved died, he was the worst Logan and everyone knew it. 

Now he’s not so sure. How could he be so awful when you loved him so much? He trusted you, and he trusted your judgment of character, so logically he has to face that he’s not all bad. But it’s more than that. Your presence in his life has to be proof of something, call it god, call it the universe, call it karma, you were all the proof he needed that at one point he did something good. He must have done something really and truly good to earn you. There’s a voice in his head now to fight back that familiar dialogue. A voice that tells him he’s a good man with bad circumstances, a voice that tells him his mistakes don’t define him, it’s a voice that sounds like yours. If you, beautiful, kind and perfect you, could love him? He must have done something right. He has good in him, you make him believe it. All he can do is grab your hand and squeeze it. One day he’ll tell you. One day he’ll find the right words and put them in the right order and he’ll be able to tell you that he is devastatingly, irrevocably and wholly in love with you. But until that day he’ll hold you close, be sweet only for you, and even go mattress shopping. All for you.

That night, after you had gotten the new bed set up, you both went over to Wade’s for drinks. After about thirty minutes, Wade claps his hands with glee in the kitchen as he pours more tequila into a whiskey glass. He practically prances back into the room returning to his seat “Soooooo what ����𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 shit did you two get up with today” he waggles his fingers at you. How did he do that with his voice? Nevermind. Logan sputters into his drink, recovering quickly “The hell are you talkin about?” he grunts. Wade looks delighted. “I am so glad you asked pookie” Logan groans as he continues, “I was on my daily walk around your building and I couldn't help but notice a set of your sheets and a whole mattress in your dumpster!” Wade teases. “Daily walks?” Logan growls “you root through our trash?” you question. “Hold on, don't turn this around on me, either you’re sexual deviants or Wolvy dear is getting really old, or both!” Wade coos, sipping his drink.

10 minutes later when you’re finally able to separate Logan from him with as little blood shed as possible (with varying degrees of success) you decide to cut the night short. Thirty minutes before blood might be a new record for the two of them actually. Logan presses the button to summon the elevator, you reach for your phone to- shit! “Babe I forgot my phone, I’ll be right back” he lets out a hmph to confirm he heard you. You jog back to Wade’s door, opening it with ease. Fucker never locks his door, says it an ‘open invitation’. Whatever that means. “Hey, sorry I forgot my phone” Wade leans against the counter taking a break from washing dishes. “Oh it’s all right boo” he grins as you search through the spot where you sat “But while I have you here” he trails off probing your response to his previous question. You found your phone… right next to Wade. Rolling your eyes at his antics “Oops?” he smiles. You punch him on your way out with no real malice, but before reaching the door, you turn back to say “Well it’s not the second one” you wink and jog right back to Logan.

 “Harlots!” you hear Wade yell at you from his door before slamming it. Logan raises an eyebrow in question “What did ya say to him?” you take his hand in the elevator “Oh nothing” you smile with a hint of mischief. He looks at you accusatorial “well nothing that isn’t true” Logan groans at your response “you know i’m never going to hear the end of this. I have to interact with him wayyy more than you do” you step out of the elevator, heading towards the car as Logan continues “He’s going to ask me more questions about it, and then I'm gonna have to stab him.” He opens the passenger door for you “thought you didn’t like it when I skewered the little shit.” Logan pulls a cigar from the glove box, slicing off the end with a claw. “Can ya give me a light here sugar?” he grumbles out with the cigar between his teeth as he starts the car. 

Fuck he was handsome. Devastatingly so. The wrinkles on his face from his seemingly permanent soured expression, his strong jaw extenuated by facial hair that would look ridiculous on anyone else, the way his shirt was unbuttoned so you could begin to see a peek of his salt and pepper chest hair, it just wasn’t fair that any man could look this good. 

“Hon” he grunts out. You snapped back to the present, finding the lighter a bit further back in the glovebox. You hold the flame to the end while he sucks in, creating a bright cherry at the end of the stick. “I never said not to skewer him” you start “I just said I think it's gross seeing your claws fully through his skull and finding two of his fingers in between our couch cushions.” Logan chuckles at this “So you don’t mind me brutalizing our friend, as long as you don't have to see it.” he puffs on his cigar. “Nope!” you pop, smiling at him “I can't believe you just called Wade your friend” Logan stops at the light and grunts out “slip of the tongue” while he looks out the window. “I don't think it was” you lightly elbow him “I already know you’re secretly a softie, I won’t tell him.” he exhales another billow of smoke, but you couldn’t help but notice the tips of his ears had turned a little red. You decide not to comment on it, smiling only to yourself. This was the Logan only you got to see. Everyone else in the whole world only knew him as angry and violent with brief moments of sincerity. He was gruff and brash and had a weird way of showing he cared. 

As much as you were his -lord knows you have the hickeys to prove it- he was yours. The Logan that learned how to cook just to make you breakfast in bed is yours. The Logan who will wear a face mask with you is yours. The Logan who uses his claws to chop vegetables is yours. The Logan who can’t sleep if you’re not in his arms, the Logan who stands between your legs while you sit on the bathroom counter to shave him, the Logan who presses kisses to your head and ties your shoes. He was a secret, locked away from the world, buried deep inside from years of putting up walls to protect himself. He only existed with you. 

What a gift. What a tragedy. What an awful thought, that he hides his kindness and vulnerability from the world. What an absolute honor it is to be the only person he trusts enough to let in. It doesn’t come easy to him, it doesn’t come naturally. He makes the conscious effort everyday to break down his own walls for you. 

Logan rarely says “I love you” ; those three words seem to choke him every time he tries to spit them out. But when he does say them, it’s always a whisper. Like if he’s quiet enough the curse that seems to snuff out everyone he loves won’t hear him, won’t find him. Like he’s worried if he says it too loud it will trigger some horrible accident that will steal you away from him, but even then he can’t help but tell you. He swallows his fear in the small hours of the night to whisper a promise to you. 

He doesn’t need to tell you. You can see it. You can feel it. 

You don’t realize you’re home until the car stops and you feel his rough fingertips on your face in a gentle touch “Where’d you go in that head of yours pretty?” he looks deeply into your eyes. “Just thinking about you.” you smile and press a kiss to his lips before opening your door and getting out. “What about me?” he locks the car and slings an arm around you as you walk towards the elevator to go back to your home. “Just how much I love you.” Logan pushes the button when he lets out a “hmm” at your answer, looking away. His ears were pink again. You tug his collar down for another kiss then whisper in his ear 

“I think we need to break in that new mattress” a/n: I hope you enjoyed! let me know if you're interested in a part three. nothing motivates me like hearing what people liked, so if you enjoyed and want more, let me know!

taglist @mistyorchid

[fiendishfinesse]

(taps mic) Chatting with my cute little owl guy yesterday (@dvilsdesire ♥), I accidentally remembered a little thing/story/headcanon I had back at the beginning of this blog when I listened to a song.

So, Raphael paints, right? He’s the creative, bard-ish, artist type. And I relate a bit of that to one of 

Raphael’s exes™—the painter, a tragic tale

[ BEWARE TW BELOW: abuse, taking own life ]

Raphael is ancient; it’s unlikely he never engaged in relationships. I like to imagine this person—a mortal, an artist, and a teacher—someone completely opposite to him: quiet and gentle.

Raphael approached them initially to commission his dorky paintings. He wanted an artist who could properly capture his visions, and eventually, he found them. That person was odd—strangely understanding of the fact that he was a devil (he had to switch to his true devilish form to be painted accurately, after all). Yet, they seemed genuinely interested in what he had to say, his ramblings, his monologues, his poetry, his illusions of grandeur.

Painting sessions became pleasant with such company. Soon, Raphael found himself wanting to learn their skills, to paint for himself. They were a teacher, after all, so the lessons came naturally. Their painting classes stretched into long hours filled with sharp wit, gentle corrections, and an undeniable connection. Raphael’s ego was fed, and he was visibly improving in his art, which pleased him greatly.

The painter fell in love quickly, and Raphael indulged them—why not? They were fun to be around, and such a pretty thing to ravage. Their desires in bed aligned all too well. He started looking forward to their sessions, to their dates, a peculiar feeling for the devil.

But then it started.

They were his, and his alone. He would not tolerate others in their lives. Other suitors, other admirers. They were beautiful, radiant even, and the attention they received drove him mad, quite literally. He would demean and hurt both his beloved and any rival who dared draw too close.

Raphael ensured they were utterly alone, with no one to call upon besides him, no one to need but him. They were pliant, blindly in love—a poor, naive thing. Manipulating them away from anyone who wished them well was a simple feat. He crafted a gilded cage around them, every bar polished and gleaming with golden promises.

He stretched—no, demanded—more hours of their attention. Slowly, methodically, he ensured they had no access to money, no means to provide for themselves. They would have to rely on him for everything. But oh, he was so generous. Lavish gifts, endless pampering, luxurious dates, sweet words dripping with honey, and promises of eternal devotion.

This continued for years. Years.

Then, the painter made a mistake. They told Raphael that they loved him.

Something in him cracked, shattered. He wasn’t quite sure why, but the words broke something irreparable inside him. He grew tired of them. His affection, once smothering and possessive, turned glacial, so cold it could make Cania itself seem warm.

Unfortunately, without Raphael, they were utterly shattered in every conceivable way. Mentally, emotionally, financially. He had made certain of that.

Raphael, ever the gentleman, decided to be courteous enough to end things face-to-face. Courteous, but not kind. Every word was a lash. Months passed. Utter, suffocating coldness. He ignored every attempt they made to reach out, every letter soaked with ink and tears. Perhaps, once or twice, he sent a letter in return—just a flicker of false hope—but never anything more.

And then, silence.

Raphael would soon learn they had hanged themselves.

His first thought? "I hope you were thinking of me."

Somewhere deep within him, there was an ache. An odd, quiet pain, a distant echo of something fragile and broken.

But Raphael shrugged it off. After all, he was a devil. And devils don’t grieve.

-------

The song that inspired me: https://genius.com/Circus-contraption-if-i-told-you-once-annotated

As your muscles were twitching in their final plea, Hope you were thinking of me Hope you were thinking of me Thinking of me Always thinking of me Just me ♥

--hope you liked my stupid ass story about this random npc in raphaels life 😂

[hismercytomyjustice]

Other fics will absolutely still be completed, but I have shocking news…

I’m planning to do RadioApple AU Goggles week in May…

Day 4 is “Favorite Movie.”

I almost went with trying to emulate my KSci boys, but Lucifer and Alastor have such pilot energy.

However, I’m still trying to bring this energy to the function (apologies for the quality, couldn’t find a better version with the very important subtitles):

📻🍎🤖🦖 📻🍎🤖🦖 📻🍎🤖🦖

“Is that Crimson Shadow?” the stranger prompted, close enough he didn’t have to raise his voice much to be heard.

Alastor couldn’t help but grin with pride. “Yes, she is! The finest Mach-1 to ever grace the program!”

“Is that why the pilots have you wasting time prettying her up? Kind of like putting lipstick on a pig, isn’t it?”

Alastor’s eye twitched. “I beg your pardon?”

“I don’t understand why they put so much time and energy into maintaining such an ancient model. Have you seen the newest Mach-5s? It’s like looking at a prop plane next to a military jet!”

“Bells and whistles aren’t everything,” Alastor answered, eyes narrowing. “And I’d argue the newer models have more than they know what to do with, not because they actually need it, but because these newer pilots need all the help they can get.”

Like Adam, the dictionary definition of sloppy. The man lacked both discipline and control, and Alastor was genuinely shocked he managed to tie his own shoes, let alone pilot a jaeger. He certainly wouldn’t be able to without the latest technology doing the bulk of the work for him, along with his sycophantic copilot, Lute.

Alastor was convinced she was the only one capable of not losing a fatal number of brain cells from drifting with that moron.

“Or maybe her pilots need to get with the times,” the man retorted, wandering closer. “And now with one of them out of commission, the PPDC is gonna be pressed to find someone else willing to work with a dinosaur like that.”

Alastor got the distinct impression he was referring to both Crimson Shadow and him.

Well, if he was a pilot, at least he’d already done Alastor the favor of removing himself from his list of potential candidates.

“I take it you only have experience with the newer models?” he prompted.

“Yeah! Fallen Angel! Ever seen her?”

Ah. He must be Lucifer Morningstar then. The nepo baby who’d undoubtedly used his father’s clout and money to get himself into the program.

Of course he piloted that monstrosity. Perhaps that was why he gravitated to his outfit, wanting to match his garish mech. The damned thing had a small set of decorative wings of all things. True, they housed missiles within their feathers, but wings? Really?

That was exactly the kind of thing that happened when people became too focused on form rather than function.

Crimson Shadow, however, had both in spades.

“Isn’t she currently being turned into scrap?” Alastor drawled in answer.

Lucifer actually stomped his tiny foot, his boot ringing against the metal of the catwalk. “No! She’s just undergoing repairs!”

“Caused by a Category Three kaiju. How embarrassing. She has…what, three kills?”

“Four!” he snapped back at him. “And it was the biggest Category Three that’s ever come through the breach!”

“A Mark-4, too… Why, Crimson Shadow is sitting here just fine after her latest battle against a Category Four!”

He smirked when Lucifer’s face turned as red as his ridiculous jacket. “Big talk coming from someone like you!”

Like him?

He glanced down. Upon recalling he was in his bland gray maintenance uniform, he laughed outright.

“Oh, I’d rather spend my days touching up the paint on a legend like Crimson Shadow than waste even a second in Fallen Angel!”

“I bet you would!” Lucifer seethed in answer. “Unlike you, I have somewhere important to be right now!”

He stormed off, Alastor’s laughter following at his heels.

[corellianhounds]

Murder Mystery at Jabba's Palace has me intrigued 👀

AS IT SHOULD!! This one is very fun for me because it doesn’t have to be some big overarching plot connected to the bigger universe with Themes and Parallels, it’s just plain fun

I was on a murder mystery kick for a while some time back and got to thinking about what it would take for there to be a semi-kind of 1940s nightclub/mafia headquarters vibe to the palace after the events of TBoBF (though in my head this is after a revised TBoBF so there are some changes to several characters and new characters altogether in the mix)

In the revised TBoBF, Boba has a tenuous alliance with the Trandoshan crime family, the head of the family in this story having been usurped by his younger ambitious son, Ressik. Here, the son has leveraged something Boba wants against him in exchange for Boba agreeing to host an extravagant party with a specific band at the palace at the demand of Ressik’s fiancée. Boba initially refuses because this is his place of business, not the lowlife outpost of Jabba’s cronies it used to be, but the more lucrative the offer becomes in terms of an eventual exchange of favors, the more Fennec’s telling him “Look maybe ONE party wouldn’t be a bad thing, we kick them out come sunsrise and you don’t have to do it again,” so Boba finally relents.

One ☝️ semi-respectable nightclub party. He doesn’t want to become known for this, and this is his place. They’re running things how he sees fit.

It takes a fair bit of money to convince Figrin D’an and the Modal Nodes to come back to Jabba’s Palace— because that’s all anyone is going to know it as for a while— the band having already escaped from Jabba once, but once D’an sees proof of the change in ownership and Fett proves this is a genuine commission and not a ploy to get and keep them there for the foreseeable future, he starts to eye the amount of credits Fennec’s offering on Fett’s behalf with keen interest; the Modal Nodes try to convince him not to do it, but he’s the frontman for the band and technically owns most of their instruments, so regardless of the fact D’an is known to be bad with money and still insists on gambling despite his debts, they have no choice but to come along with him when he agrees.

Night of the event comes and we as the audience get to see our cast of suspects and uninvited guests start to arrive: Mando’s been paid to be there as extra security. The marshal, Jo, and Taanti are in from Mos Pelgo. Garsa Fwip politely but firmly declined Fett’s offer, so the blue Twi’lek from Jabba and Bib Fortuna’s rule is the singer opening for the band onstage before the main event. Peli Motto somehow secured an invitation, or at least a convincing approximation of one, and Fett, Fennec, and Mando all don’t care enough to throw her out anyway. Krrsantan is also there, and that’s creating some unfortunate tension with the Trandoshan guests, the nosy B’omarr monks are skittering around the halls unnerving people in their search for gossip enlightenment, and wait is that Lando Calrissian in the background—?

Things seem to be going well with only minimal squabbles throughout the night, but when the band gets up for their second set close to midnight, something goes terribly wrong: Figrin D’an collapses, dying onstage in front of everyone with no discernible cause as to why or how. The Trandoshan noble is furious, and Boba and his crew lock down the palace because they have until sunrise to solve the murder, or the Trandoshans promise there’ll be hell to pay.

WIP Ask Game

[batwynn]

Is there a link or place where we can donate money to you without a commission?

I do have a Ko-fi but you absolutely do not need to donate and I’d prefer it if folks actually grabbed something from my shop. (if it interests you, of course) I know everyone is in rough shape right now, and I told myself the last time was the last time I’d ask for donations/help. I don’t want to do it again. Thank you, though. It’s really thoughtful and kind of you to think of it.

I just want to make it clear, though, that if this is in response to my recent post about my health that, unfortunately I don’t really know how to fix that even if I could afford the trip to a different dermatologist + the appointment cost of someone out of state/network.

It’s an accumulation of problems that I don’t know how to fix. The waitlists around here are 6months to multiple years, so if I got a referral from my new asshole doctor, it would take over a month just to get that sent in and get a call to schedule. I don’t know why it takes that long to send a digital message and have it be processed, but every damn time I have to wait weeks for it. Then the appointment is guaranteed to be at least six months out, which is too long to wait after the point of stopping Humira. Then, I have no way of knowing that the office will allow me to do Telehealth appointments for every other appointment after the first one, and the fact that I would have to crowd fund every appointment after that as well.

Additionally, I have two cats (and one is an Extreme Dumb Baby who needs constant supervision and the other is an old lady who has to have two asthma puffs every day) and a pellet stove that has to be regularly filled with pellets and turned off to be cleaned every day. Then there’s the fact that I don’t have a water heater, so I have to constantly run the cold water to keeps the pipes from freezing, and regularly boil water and dump it down the toilet to keep the septic from freezing and the house from filling up with septic gas. I can’t really leave the house for very long in winter. As you can tell, I love living like this. /s

I also haven’t… actually learned to drive in the snow. I only got my permit this year after years of shit health and bad circumstances putting it on hold, so I can drive but… I’ve never driven on ice and snow. I’ve tried a few times this winter, and it killed my hands for days after just from the death grip I had on the steering wheel. (Which is, apparently, not how to do it lol) The only person who could drive me to a new derm is my mother, and her spinal arthritis can barely take a monthly trip to the store in the car, never mind anything over several hours. I’m not doing that to her.

Then there’s just. All the other health stuff I have going on that’s gotten worse lately with little to no help. Yadda yadda.

So, I don’t know. While I really, genuinely appreciate the offers to help and the attempts to fix this, I’ve spent two years trying to fix it and everything has gone wrong or just not worked. Maybe if I can make it to spring I can try driving myself somewhere, but spring doesn’t usually get here in March, when my medication runs out. Winter stops closer to the last weeks of April and first weeks of May.

Everything is just too much of a mess.

[rippleap]

Urgent Commissions 

Hi you guys, I don’t usually post this kind of stuff, but I’m in a bit of a pickle right now and could really use some help.

My ipad suddenly stopped working while I was at school. After getting it checked at a local phone repair shop, I was told the motherboard might be damaged, meaning all my art, animations, and years of work could be lost unless I can afford data recovery, which is really expensive. The cost is way beyond what I can manage currently on my own, and it’s been really hard thinking I might lose everything I’ve made over the years, especially my passion projects and wips. I also use that ipad for schoolwork and building my art portfolio, so this has hit me from all sides.I’m opening emergency art commissions to raise money for data recovery and possibly repairing/replacing my ipad so I can continue working on art and school

If you’d like to support me, my commissions are open, now at discounted prices! Sharing this post helps a LOT too!!

I’m offering almost anything (except animation): icons, headshots, waist-ups, full-body, eventually music?? you name it! I’m also doing pixel icon gifs for 24€

For now, I can only make digital art using clip studio paint or ms paint on my school laptop, so you can choose which program you’d like me to use (ms paint pieces are cheaper, of course)

I also plan to post adopts on my toyhouse, so feel free to check those out too!

Some prices are listed on the image, but feel free to dm me about anything else! I accept payment through paypal and ko-fi, and I’m open to look at other payment methods if needed. Preferably message me on discord (Rippleap), but I can do email too, just ask in dms!

My main concern isn’t to get a fancy new ipad, I just want to get my work back and have a way to keep doing what I love. Not being able to make art or work on my projects has been genuinely distressing and taking a toll on my mental health, and I’d be endlessly grateful for any help or support.

Thank you so much for reading, sharing, or helping in any way. I appreciate it more than words can say! :3

(i really hope i'm not abusing the emergency comms tag, this is just pretty urgent to me as i am frequently changing homes at the moment so i have to get things done as quick as i can ARGHH IDK)

[annimator]

I know I’m more than 2 months late to the party, but I REALLY wanna gush about how much I loved All Stars’ finale.

It’s honestly my favourite Disventure Camp episode as of right now, because I have a good feeling Carnival of Chaos will be really great considering how much I’m rooting for a good majority of the cast

(Spoilers for the episode below [obviously] but I also mention smth from the TomJake’s spinoff’s last episode)

• Tom sounds like the kind of guy to practice confessing to his crush by talking to a photo of said crush lmao. Ashley’s being as great as always by being Tom’s wingwoman

• Awwww Hunter’s trying to cheer up Ally by showing a drawing of her :D (do you take commissions bro /j)

• Huntally kiss! :D Also Tess is there too lol

• NOBODY WANTED TO BE ON RIYA’S TEAM LMAO. ELLIE ONLY JOINED BECAUSE OF THE CHANCE TO GET 100K, AND ALEC WAS PICKED RANDOMLY AND WAS LIKE “yeah ok whatever”

• Everyone that was sitting in Jake’s stand was starring at Tom (Except James & Aiden) when he was choosing his first teammate before Ally volunteered lol

• Tom we’re not glossing over the fact that you got WATERBOARDED. Also him saying that confessing to Jake is the most stressful thing he’s ever done is a mood.

• Dat scene of the thumbnail tho. ALSO THEY WERE BLUSHING >:DDDDDD

• “Get up guys! You can have your yaoi moment later!” LMAO BEST ALLY QUOTE RIGHT THERE

• Ally’s cartwheels were so fucking cool to watch, and I hope whoever animated that was paid well. I remember hearing in a greeting that acrobatics and gymnastics are a side hobby of hers but I can’t find the link to it :(

• BRO I WAS SO FUCKING HAPPY TO SEE FIORE CALL OUT FOR ALEC AND JUMP OFF THE STANDS TO HELP HIM OUT. SHE FINALLY SHOWED THAT SHE CARES FOR HIM AND HE RETURNED THE FAVOUR BY PROTECTING HER FROM THE PAINT ARROWS AND THE HORE CARRIAGE.

• Also speaking of, when it panned to show all the contestants reacting to Alec getting shot, everybody had concern on their face besides Yul’s bitchass having a shit-eating grin. Guess he called Alec an insufferable nerd for a reason lol

• Seeing Alec forfeit being Riya’s helper was rlly great. Icing on top was Fiore flipping her off lol

• LMAO GABBY DIDN’T EVEN WANNA HELP OUT RIYA, SHE JUST JOINED TO PROTECT ELLIE

• “Awwww! What a cute kitty!” GABBY THAT IS A WHOLE ASS TIGER WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

• The slow-mo moment of Tom shielding Jake from the paint arrow was pretty cool and funny at the same time lol

• RIYA WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT

• THE WAY ELLIE IMMEDIATELY WENT TO HELP OUT GABBY BY TRYING TO PULL HER ARM OFF OF THE TIGER MY GOD I LOVE THEM SM

• Tom managed to fight off that tiger, what a madlad

• “What the hell was that Riya?!” “What? We won!” “You hurt my girlfriend you piece of shit!” YEAH TELL HER ELLIE

• Ellie would’ve beat the shit out of Riya if this finale wasn’t televised and I would watch every second of that. And good on Ellie for realizing that some things are more important that money

• speaking of, I WAS GENUINELY NOT EXPECTING A GABELLIE KISS IN THE FINALE, BUT I LOVE THAT IT CAME AFTER ELLIE SAYING THAT SOME THINGS (LIKE GABBY) ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN MONEY

• Ngl I didn’t really gaf about the staff plot this season, but Derek & Trevor are rlly cute together! Carnival of Chaos will be more interesting now that they’re canon and hosting it together >:D

• “Kick Riya’s ass for me!” YEAAAAAAAAA

• Seeing James & Aiden root for Jake was really wholesome considering the fact that Jake had beef with both of them throughout the game before making amends. Aiden actually has the my favourite elimination because of his convo with Jake before leaving. Yul’s is a close second because his monologue after getting eliminated is ICONIC

• I also like that even though you don’t hear anyone else loudly root/cheer for Jake (Besides James, Aiden, and Miriam). You can tell that everyone (besides Yul lol) is rooting for him.

• TOM HELPED TO PUSH JAKE BACK UP ONTO THE PLATFORM AFTER RIYA KNOCKED HIM OFF

• Seeing Fiore by Alec’s side as all of the finale’s helpers were in a separate stand was so nice to see :DDDD

• Tom’s not beating the “physical touch as a love language” allegations. LOOK AT THE WAY HIS HANDS ARE ON JAKE’ SHOULDERS WITH A CUTE SMILE ON HIS FACE.

• Jeez Riya’s gone off the deep end considering what she said to Connor even though she’s supposedly “PrETeNdiNg”. I personally think she’s a really interesting character considering her entire character arc, but at the same time, I think she’s a bitch lol

• “Well! You just watch! Your leg will look like a SCRAP after what I do to him.” JESUS FUCK SHE WAS NOT JOKING SHE FUCKING HIT JAKE IN THE FUCKING THROAT WITH HER SWORD AND KICKED HIM OFF THE PLATFORM.

• I WAS WAITING SINCE LAST FUCKING MAY FOR JAKE AND TOM TO FINALLY TALK OUT THEIR ISSUES AND FOR THEM TO GET BACK TOGETHER AND THEIR CONFESSION SCENE WAS SO FUCKING WORTH THE WAIT BECAUSE OF WHAT TOM SAID TO JAKE.

• “Whenever you called, I just stared at the phone. I was haunted by my past and I was so scared of making another mistake. But you reminded me that I’m so much more than my setbacks. Jake, I… I care about you so much!” I NEED TO BE FUCKING SEDATED

• THEY KISSEDDDDDDD

• Tom rlly said “If there’s any chance you feel the same way” as if Jake wasn’t blushing earlier after Tom saved him. And Jake kissed him to shut him up omg

EDIT: Idk how I didn’t mention this (or forget for that matter), but the background crowd can basically be heard throughout a majority of the episode, and their cheers get louder during Gabellie’s kiss and Tomjake’s first kiss which is such a great detail that I noticed when I first watched the episode.

• “I know you’re just coping Riya. Being alone must stink. It’s how I felt for a long time.” I did not relish this quote when I first watched this scene but OH MY GOD I FEEL LIKE THIS QUOTE IS A GOOD BOOK END FOR JAKE’S ALL STARS ARC. HE STARTED ALL STARS BY BASICALLY BEING ALL ON HIS OWN SINCE MIRIAM WAS ON A DIFFERENT TEAM BUT HE NOW HAS A LARGE GROUP OF PEOPLE ON HIS SIDE. AND KEEP NOTE OF THE PEOPLE BEHIND JAKE WHEN HE SAYS THIS. ASHLEY’S BEEN A GOOD FRIEND FOR JAKE THROUGH THICK AND THIN, JAMES, AIDEN, AND ALLY ALL BEEFED WITH JAKE DURING MOST OF THEIR TIME IN ALL STARS, BUT MANAGED TO PUT THEIR DIFFERENCES ASIDE BEFORE (or after in James’ case) THEY GOT ELIMINATED. AND DONT GET ME STARTED ON JAKE AND TOM’S WHOLE RELATIONSHIP.

• RIYA WON?! NO FUCKING WAY

• I loved how the episode panned to all the eliminated contestants’ reactions to Jake getting knocked off, especially the pan to Ashley, James, Aiden, Tom, and Ally, their faces were hilarious lol

• Ngl that scene of Jake being congratulated despite losing was kinda cheesy to me at first, but I think it’s pretty neat, AND I AM NOT COMPLAINING OVER ANOTHER TOMJAKE KISS >:D

• “I guess, as they say in fairy tales, the prince fails to beat the dragon, but at least he gets the knight in the end!” That’s so wholesome omggggg

• I LOVE HOW NOBODY (EXCEPT YUL BECAUSE HES GETTING MONEY) IS HAPPY OVER RIYA’S VICTORY LMAOOOOO.

• “Hope it was worth it. Money can’t buy friends.” Bro it’s just like that one yt comment said, “Damn, even Krystal didn’t want her to win” lol

• Seeing everyone happy on the bus ride to the airport was so wholesome; Ally, Hunter, & Tess happily playing switch together, Ashley getting a call from Will, Alec smiling as Fiore slept on his arm while he was reading, Ellie & Gabby holding each other with smiles on their face, AAAAA I LOVE IT SO MUCH

• The transition to Riya holding the money briefcase on her own was literally all I needed to know that the Tumblr blog that posted art of Riya winning but getting ignored by everyone had the gift of prophecy lol

• BRO THE WAY JAMES & AIDEN ARE HOLDING EACH OTHER GENUINELY ADDED HALF A DECADE TO MY LIFESPAN, ITS TGAT WHOLESOME

• “Oh we’re gonna spend so much overdue time together.” I WAS CHEERING SO HARD WHEN JAKE SAID THAT. I LOVE HOW EVERY WHOLESOME TOMJAKE SCENE HITS DIFFERENT KNOWING THAT THEY’RE CANONICALLY ENGAGED BY THE END OF THE TOMJAKE SPINOFF’S FIRST SEASON

• I love how Tom also invited Miriam to spend time with him and Jake since he knows that she and Jake had a great bond, only for Miriam to deny it since she knows Tom owes Jake time for themselves and themselves alone.

• I haven’t seen anyone point this out, but in the scene where the contestants go their separate ways at the airport, the people from season two exit the screen on the LEFT, while people from season one exit the screen on the RIGHT, with the only exceptions being Great exiting on the left, and Yul exiting in on the right. Alec also had Fiore on his shoulders, Jaiden, Tomjake, & Gabellie were holding hands as they exited the screen, and Ashley waved her hat in the air to wave goodbye.

• “The cameras are gone right?” “What difference does it make?” “It’s over. I can finally stop pretending!” I genuinely saw this coming from a mile away when I first watched this ep

• OKAY I HAVE WORDS TO SAY FOR CONNOR & RIYA’S LAST SCENE TOGETHER BECAUSE OF HOW MUCH IT PARALLELS WHAT ROSA SAID TO RIYA AFTER SHE GOT ELIMINATED BESIDES BOTH CONVOS ENDING WITH CONNOR AND ROSA SAYING THE SAME EXACT THING. SOMEONE ON TWT ALREADY SAID THIS, AND WHEN I SAW THAT POST IT MADE ME APPRECIATE THIS SCENE EVEN MORE.

• Ok I turned caps back off for this moment, In S2, Rosa monologues about how she’s disappointed in Riya for letting the game change her, and in All Stars, Connor says he’s disappointed in Riya because of how everyone EXCEPT Riya changed throughout their time in All Stars. LIKE THAT CANT BE A COINCIDENCE, I HAVE A GOOD FEELING THAT THE WRITERS INTENTIONALLY MADE THAT SCENE FROM ALL STARS PARALLEL THE ONE FROM S2 ONCE THEY DECIDED TO MAKE RIYA THE WINNER.

• Also pretty bold of Riya to assume her and Connor could continue whatever they had going on after oh, I don’t know, BREAKING HIS FUCKING LEG AND CONSTANTLY FUCKING WITH HIS MIND (also off-topic, but I think aleconnor’s pretty neat :D Apparently they could’ve hugged during Alec’s elimination, but that scene ended up getting deleted, would’ve made the scene more gayer lol)

• Yeah, uh, still don’t really care about the staff even though I think they’re all pretty neat. I remember being so happy after Krystal said that she had a certain duo in mind to take care of DC whilst she, Oliver, Marcus, & Nina took a vacation since it implied Trevek will return to host s4

• That scene of Riya looking at all the happy lives of the other contestants whilst she’s on her own was so bittersweet considering that this scene was the last scene for most of these characters since most of them didn’t make an appearance in the spin-offs (at least James got namedropped lol) .

• And this all once again goes back to what Rosa said to Riya back in S2, telling her that she’d win but will be alone. Everyone’s managed to get a happy ending except Riya; Tom & Jake finally went out to eat Chinese food like they promised back in S1(and ended up getting engaged), James & Aiden are still happily together and are visiting Germany with Lake & Rosa, Ellie & Gabby are still together with Ellie & Tess also having graduated, Alec & Fiore are back on good terms, Grett & Yul are separately living their best lives, Ashley, Will, Nick, & Lill all went out for drinks, and Connor ended up getting married. Meanwhile, Riya’s basically all by herself, only having the 3 million dollars, her miscellaneous acting awards, and her sister as company, ultimately suffering from success. (L)

• Seriously tho, every competitor in a competition show like this getting a happy ending while the actual winner doesn’t get one is an interesting concept that should be done more

• So yeah TL;DR, All Stars’ finale was FUCKING AMAZING! Sure the season as a whole has its flaws, but I still mostly loved it nonetheless. I started watching around episode 8’s release and caught up by watching the previous seasons to get a good understanding of all the characters. This show would’ve done WONDERS for me back when I was still figuring out my sexuality back in 2021-2022 with all its LGBT rep, but better late than never! And this series also kinda helped me heal from all the angst QSMP threw my way with how most of the ships ended up getting happy endings :D (*cough* Tomjake)

[we-are-inevitable]

btw in the restaurant au. if you even care. jack goes to culinary school because growing up, his dad always made incredible food, and he started puttering around the kitchen with him when he was like 5 years old. he always wanted to try better recipes and newer things, and his dad- though they didnt have much money- would always save up for good ingredients so jack could cook whatever his little heart desired. cooking was their time; i imagine his dad was a line cook or something, not at a fancy restaurant or anything but at a little diner, and cooking was Their thing. jack would spend all day with his mom, and as soon as his dad came home- no matter how tired he was of cooking, no matter how much he wanted to just go lay down- they would go to the kitchen and he would supervise jack as jack made dinner for everyone.

when jack’s mom gets sick, he’s 10 years old, and his dad has to cut back his time at the diner to take care of her, since jack is in school and can’t be there. this means they bring in less money, so they can’t really afford to pay for the fresh ingredients now; most of their meals at home are dollar store staples. hanburger helper, microwavable TV dinners, sandwiches- they genuinely don’t have the money to spend on fresh produce anymore, and even buying ground beef and chicken breasts is splurging that they can’t often afford.

they live on a shoestring budget until jack can get his first job at age 14. his mom beats cancer the first time, but they’re drowning in medical debt, so jack finds a job that will actually hire him despite not being 15 yet, and his first real job is working as a dishwasher at a restaurant down the street. he works nearly every day, and all of his money is given to his father, despite his father insisting that he doesn’t need a job, he shouldn’t have a job, he’s just a kid and his money should be going toward kid stuff and not paying his parent’s medical bills.

but jack refuses, so they keep it up. i think the only non-mom-related expenses jack has are food related,, sometimes he’ll stop in the little grocery store he would go to with his dad when they were younger and buy fresh vegetables and a little two pound roll of hamburger meat, just so they can at least have one meal that isn’t ready from a box. jack continues this until he’s fifteen, and by the time he turns 15, his mother’s cancer is back, even after only been beaten for a year, and it’s a lot worse.

jack drops out at 15, after having long conversations with his father, and though it breaks his father’s heart to see jack doing this, it’s unfortunately what needs to be done. jack drops out and gets another job on top of the dishwashing, and he ends up as a line cook at a fast food place. they’re able to pay the bills on jack’s paychecks, and get groceries with the little that jack’s dad makes from the days he’s able to work.

jack’s mom passes when he’s 16, leaving jack and his dad to cover both funeral and medical expenses. they’re drowning after that, both grieving in their own ways. jack’s father can barely get out of bed for weeks, but jack is back at work the day after his mother’s funeral because he knows they can’t risk falling behind on bills.

jack’s dad loved his mom so much. they were such a happy family before she got sick, which wasn’t her fault, none of this was ever her fault, but after she passes he’s completely out of commission. he can’t keep a job, he barely talks anymore, he drinks and drinks until jack can’t recognize him. it’s terrifying to watch, but jack gives him his time- he knows that eventually, his father is going to get back on his feet, and he’s going to be okay, and he’s going to go back to work and they’re going to get to relax and things will be fine again.

jack’s dad dies a few days after jack’s 18th birthday. they didn’t see it coming. the paramedics say it was a heart attack. jack likes to think of it as his mom needing his dad. it’s easier to stomach that way.

but that’s fine. everything is fine. jack, freshly 18, plans his second funeral and again, he’s back at work the day after putting his dad in the ground. he sells most of the furniture to have some extra cash. he finds a cheaper apartment in the bad part of town because he can’t afford a two bedroom when he’s just one kid. he has a bed, he has photos of his parents, and he has a kitchen. that’s all he needs.

the next few years pass with jack climbing the ranks in whatever restaurants he can get his hands on. he’s finally in a place where he can save for school, culinary school, and he has more restaurant experience under his belt by the time he’s 21 than most of his older coworkers do. he busts his ass and works so hard to put himself through school, and when he finally gets his certificate after everything, he can rest. he starts applying to different high end restaurants, and he works as a cook in a nice steakhouse for a while, but he doesn’t like his coworkers and knows he deserves more than being miserable.

when he hears about a new restaurant opening in the area, some “high end” burger joint called Pulitzer’s, he throws his hat in the ring with an application and is hired on as the lead chef at the age of 25.

he’s 26 when a new server named David Jacobs is hired, and things start looking up.

[prettyrealm]

itzy ryujin ideal type reading

this reading is a paid commission. thank you so much for trusting in me! ♡

overall:

someone who will be like a ride or die (“if you do it, ima do it too” energy), soulmate type connection, someone who will support her and vouch for her even when she’s wrong (like if if you don’t agree with her going off in public, you better just go along with it and then only tell her it was inappropriate when behind closed doors), someone rebellious that isn’t afraid to go against the establishment or defy authority or even just go against the popular opinion, someone who genuinely values women and understands feminism, someone intuitive with good social skills who can read people and situations well, someone who practices what they preach and learns from experiences, someone who genuinely wants to help serve others and better their lives, someone who feels strongly and isn’t afraid to express it (whether it be love or hatred, she wants to know how you feel about things), someone passionate and forceful who goes after what they want, someone mature, honest, empathetic and intelligent. someone who knows a lot about the world and has moved between different cultures/races/ethnicities.

turn ons:

someone different or unique (maybe even someone people may usually count out or treat like a black sheep), when someone is open about their sexuality (like if she knows a girl likes girls she may become more interested or attracted to her because of that alone), when someone can navigate through different groups and classes of people and cultures, someone who cares a lot about money and making it, someone who isn’t overindulgent and can show restraint when it comes to things like drugs, alcohol, sex etc, determination, someone a bit chaotic and unruly, when someone smells fresh and clean, someone who will tear things down and destroy everything for her, when someone is devoted to a higher power or something bigger than themselves, someone who can seduce her without trying too hard, someone graceful with an attractive walk or strut, someone sophisticated, lush and thick hair, high heels, when someone is sexy or has a sexy vibe, tall height, long legs, big boobs, plump butt & body on the slimmer side.

turn offs:

someone with too much pride, people who drink too much, people who flirt too much or try too hard to be sexy (she finds this corny), someone who can’t handle her emotions and treats her like she’s crazy, someone controlling who tries to act like a dad, cruelty, perversity, someone who doesn’t take care of themselves well (poor nutrition or hygiene), people who lie, joke around too much or play too much, immaturity and not knowing how to be serious, arrogance, men who try to be too dominant and aggressive, men who are too sexually forward, men who think they’re good looking and try to use it to their advantage (or even just guys who post too many selfies), people who abuse their power, people with superiority complexes, people who steal others ideas and play it off as their own, lack of individualism or originality, i don’t think she likes glasses very much, eyes or contacts that are too brightly colored, heavy set or overweight body, fake blonde or bleached hair, red hair, & petite or small built men.

[acourtofthought]

I just want to say my piece about Elain week and be done with it. Honestly, you’re one of the few accounts I follow that actually gets it. You genuinely love Elain’s character but aren’t blind to her flaws, which is rare. It’s refreshing to see someone who admires where her story might be going while still keeping it real—because let’s face it, Elain is just a character in a book, not a real person. It’s exhausting to see people lose their minds over fictional drama. So, thanks for being one of the few who can balance it all without losing touch with reality.

I can’t take Elriel’s seriously because they treat Elain like she’s some real, fleshed-out character while simultaneously reducing her to a mere plot device in Az's story. It’s like they completely ignore her agency and depth just to fit her into Azriel's narrative. And don’t even get me started on Elainweek. If it was supposed to be inclusive, why was it riddled with bans that sidelined anyone who had different preferences in the fandom? They act like Elucien fans are the problem for not participating in previous years, but then turn around and complain on Twitter when a bunch of Eluciens actually engaged this year.

They should have just been straightforward about their intentions for Elain-week instead of being passive-aggressive and called it what it was, Elriel week.

Now, I want to touch on the art that is now causing so muchdrama. I want to make it abundantly clear, the art itself was beautiful, many Eluciens and Gwynriels said so, but it was the artist's words that hurt many POC among the fandom.

It’s was honestly sad to witness this whole situation. I do not think the artist's comments were made with malicious intent, but rather came from a place of ignorance. Eluciens and Gwynriels had been nothing but supportive of her work, sharing her previous pieces and even showing interest in commissioning her - despite her obvious preference for Elriel.

However, how she choose to address the situation escalated things and I will bet good money she is now being manipulated by Elriels, who are telling her that she said nothing wrong, because they want the artist to create a narrative that Elucien are bullies. They are taking advantage of her situation and making things worse.

But does the artist even realize that many of the people sliding into her DMs are the very same ones who have engaged in real bullying? Seriously, these are the people who have sent death threats, harassed SJM’s best friend, and targeted authors, influencers, bookshops, and other artists just for shipping Gwynriel or Elucien. Does she know she is being exploited by Elriels, it’s sad that she doesn’t see it. Her artwork was stunning but it was overshadowed by her thoughtless and careless words and how she handled the situation. She seems to have completely missed the point.

This entire week has just been a reminder of how hypocritical some Elriels can be. Honestly, I can't wait for the day they finally drop Elain's character, because you know they will when they don't get their precious Elriel in the canon. They’re delusional if they think SJM would ever write Elriel after the way they've harassed her team, her husband, her best friends, and her colleagues. The death threats and even the creepy threats to kidnap her baby? Seriously?

Let’s be real: if they were truly confident in their ship from the beginning, they wouldn’t have needed to resort to bullying the author and anyone who disagrees with them. I think they have always known deep down that they were shipping a red herring. Now they’re just trying to strong-arm Sarah into writing them some fanservice because they can't handle the fact that their ship isn’t happening. That SJM prefers mates and they know Elriel aren't mates. It’s time to call it what it is. They want Sarah to cater to their whims, and their desperation to spam and harass anyone who doesn't ship Elriel is just pathetic.

Alright, I’m done

Thank you for the background on the photo drama! I know people were looking for more details of what happened and I had heard about it but didn't see some of what was being said on IG. You know, E/riels can call Elucien's and Gwynriel's bully's all they want and I know there have been some situations where even our side has behaved badly (though I'm not sure I remember seeing de@th threats / SA threats coming from our end) but if E/riels truly hoped to have some influence on how Sarah writes these books, I do not understand how they think their behavior is doing them favors. Sarah and her team know nothing of the verbal sparring between anon user A versus Anon user B on IG / Tumblr/ Twitter (X) whether it be Eluciens to E/riels, Gwynriels to E/riels or E/riels to Eluciens and Gwynriels. But they most certainly have heard about what happened to the other famous author who called out E/riels on her IG simply because she liked the Gwynriel ship. Sarah almost certainly heard about how E/riels acted towards her good friend Steph after she said she didn't think E/riel was happening on one of her Lives. I don't think anything any of us are going to change Sarah's mind on what she writes but if someone is over the age of 12, I imagine we all learned the lesson that good behavior gets rewarded and tantrums do not.

Thank you for your comments on my view of Elain's character! I can't think of a single FMC who has started her book happy with friends, already in love, and already living where she's going to end up by the end of her book, can you?

Yet somehow Elain is already perfect with the perfect friends and the perfect lover who treats her so well and they're already the best friends ever even though he spent a year avoiding her and she's so at home with the sisters who call her a dog and a pleasant companion and the way she treats Lucien is not at all inconsiderate because she is perfect and does not owe the one she has a forever magical connection to a single word from her lips because real life women don't owe men anything! Apparently the E/riel version of Elain is living the Barbie Dream Life and that's all well and good but then the author has absolutely no need to write a book about her. Have they listened to Sarah talk about her favorite characters? Nesta. Manon. She likes complicated women. Which we saw with Bryce and Feyre and Aelin. These women are layers upon layers and they are flawed. We can love them all the same but Sarah does not like Mary Sue's. Even her most Mary Sue like character (the not morally gray Yrene) had major prejudices she had to get over! She was a bitch to Chaol at first! That means Elain is not starting off her book as the Voted Most Beautiful of the School Head Cheerleader of the Squad leaving care packages on her sweetheart of one year and counting's locker since they're already so in love, Elain who already has the picture perfect life and only needs to fight the bad guy because there's absolutely nothing else for her to achieve. Elain, just like every other SJM heroine is going to have depth. Heavy emotions that have held her back from doing the things she needs to do, being who she's meant to be, facing her bond instead of avoiding it. Emotions that are HERS and not just her showing Rhys up. That's blaming everyone else for Elain's current state and not giving her any of the responsibility for anything. They just don't want her to have depth and things to overcome because if she does that means she might change (just like every other FMC does) and they worry that if she changes, it could mean those changes will lead her in a direction they don't want for her. So for them she must remain exactly as she is and end her book with things exactly the same as they are right now. (or at least as they were pre Solstice because right now she hasn't looked Az's way for months). We all knew Elain Week was going to be E/riel Week 2.0 despite their cries of "no, Elucien's are welcome! All ships but Tamlian and Berlain are welcome!" Damn if I'm now not wishing for some Jurlain content because that seems to be their hot button these days. We knew they'd cry that it's our fault, that we are the ones who choose not to participate while conveniently forgetting all the posts they liked over the past year calling Elucien's abuse apologists, misogynists, etc. But Yes, Of COURSE we're all welcome this week. It's like making fun of how a kid dresses every day at school then promising they'll behave the week of May 3rd, ONLY the week of May 3rd but act shocked when the kid doesn't thank them for the compliment of how nice they look that week. Assurances don't mean a thing when the people making them are nasty to us and our ship 99.9% of the time. At this point we can only hope that Sarah will some day decide to put us out of our misery and announce the next pairing.

[yeenapolitan]

Vent

I’m laying in bed just feeling so lonely, crying and I can’t make it stop. I haven’t cried in a genuine long time.. but everything is just hitting me like a fucking brick.

I don’t have anyone in my life.

It’s so fucking scary. It’s terrifying and the anxiety I feel makes me want to throw up.

I’m going to have to leave and it’s my only solution. I won’t have a family anymore, none of them love me. I don’t have friends. I don’t have anyone I can turn to and no where to go or to rely on in case of a emergency. None of it, because the people through the screen don’t count.

None of my siblings care about me. I’m so alone and it hurts so fucking much.

And anything that provides me comfort..? I have to leave it all behind. All my belongings. I need to focus on what I can carry.. the necessities.

I have to leave my dog. My baby. I have to leave Nim. She’s only 6, she won’t understand.

I only wish to pack my Kinger plush, it’s the most important item to me. It’s my comfort item, and knowing he’s custom and specially made makes him even more important and unique to me.

I can’t take my laptop or collectibles or anything. It sucks. It’s a lot of money down the drain.. my stuff. It’s more important to me than the people I live with.

I have to leave my art stuff, my keepsakes as a baby and child. I have to erase myself, in order to be myself.

God I’m also so scared I’m going to fall into drugs or something too. I know I won’t touch alcohol or cigs- vapes or blunts nothing but I do tend to like edibles and I really know that’s a horrible coping mechanism. I haven’t had access to them in months which is good but I hope my fucked mental health doesn’t tempt me. But to be honest, I can’t even get them at my age so I guess that solves that.

I’m just so depressed. I’m trying my best to be productive. I think the only thing keeping me from rotting in bed is the commissions and my schoolwork. If I didn’t have those things Idk what headspace I’d be in.

It hurts so much.

I don’t know what I did to deserve this

[jungkoode]

Honestly im really glad you added the fact that you would put engagement goals across platforms and not on specific types of notes :,)

You seemed to have had good experience with writers who put voting goals on their work, i personally havent. I know i havent been on wattpad since like 2017 either so maybe the culture changed, but some authors were hell bent on not counting comments and only votes an making the votes higher and higher every chapter, and obviously never finished their works because fandom does not expand exponentially, so it led to disappointment on both sides from writers who never reqched thier engagement targets and readers who were left bitter because when the writer only looks at numbers well... you can only vote once per chapter and not many people would be willing to create new accounts just to vote on a story, so i personally ended up feeling like a number and it took out the humanity out of interactions completely.

You and your community seem to be different tho ! (Fo starters we arent all teenagers with no understanding of impossible exponential growth and "market" pool limits ) I hope that engagement stays active, healthy and with good intent and that we dont get stuck in a situation like i described above.

I wanna emphasize that i genuinely do love your work, i love interacting with you and i love the symbiotic relationship you have with your readers and i ABSOLUETY want you to be fairly compensated (in interactions and in money) for your work, im just a bit... wary ? Over the exact logistics, but i trust you to make the best decision for yourself an right now and later down the line if changes need be

Hope you have a good day ! <3333

Hello Roo baby! (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡

This is exactly the type of ask I appreciate when someone doesn’t necessarily agree with my approach—thoughtful, constructive, and genuinely concerned for both the reader and writer experience.

So first of all, thank you for taking the time to share your perspective! I totally understand where you’re coming from. I’ve also seen that happen before, and I agree—when engagement goals become unrealistic, rigid, and disconnected from the actual audience, they don’t serve anyone. Readers feel like numbers, writers get frustrated, and ultimately, no one wins.

But.

I’m very on board with not letting that happen here. Mainly because I know the kind of readers we have in this space. I’m extremely upfront about my themes, the psychological complexity of my writing, and the way I engage with my stories—and that naturally brings in mature, thoughtful people (which I can clearly see reflected in my asks!). So I genuinely don’t worry about us falling into that pattern, and truly, you shouldn’t be either. ❤️

Like I’ve said before, this system is first and foremost a self-regulation tool for me. It’s not about power-tripping, thinking I’m above my readers, or trying to “make” people engage. It’s because I do a lot of self-awareness work, and I personally know my limitations and how to circumvent them. My ADHD isn’t an excuse or a disability—it’s just a different way of doing things, and I want to work with it in a way that benefits both you guys and me. I think it’s healthy and mature to be upfront about that, to acknowledge what I need and how to ask for it in a way that’s fair for everyone.

And honestly? This is something so many writers feel but are afraid to say out loud. Because the second you talk about numbers, there’s this fear of being seen as petty or entitled.

But the truth is—I am human. And it is human to want to feel rewarded for the effort you put into something!

Money is not my goal right now (although Ko-fi tips and commissions are always appreciated), but unfortunately, dopamine is a requirement given the way my brain works. And really—hitting a button is not an effort. It’s the absolute bare minimum form of support. Plus, as I’ve said before—I’m not delusional. I’m keeping this completely fair. These goals are based on our real numbers, and I genuinely think we can easily reach them if people engage.

Just to set an example—not to be petty—but 25H is a story that gets so many asks on here and comments on AO3. And yet, the last chapter got 14 notes. As a writer, seeing that is just disheartening.

I truly would love to say I don’t get affected by numbers, but if there’s one thing I’ve always promised you guys, it’s transparency—and you can see that in my long, rambling author notes (I truly do not shut up LMAO). I think one big thing of my Tumblr and this community is that I always want you guys to be part of the journey, and feel like you’re part of the writing process. I know I love writing my author notes, and I love knowing you love reading them too!

That’s why I appreciate this space so much. We’ve built something really rare here—a genuine, united community. A space where there’s mutual support, where people actually engage and discuss and get excited together. And I am deeply grateful for that. I know we can continue growing, in the right way, with the right balance between readers and writers.

So thank you for this ask, Roo, and for allowing me the space to reply with my thoughts. I appreciate you, and I love that we can have these conversations with so much mutual understanding and respect. (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡

[dollwrites]

Babe help I just downloaded love and deep space for Caleb and I have no fucking idea how this game works lol, granted I’ve only been playing for like an hour or so but ??? I have no idea what people mean when they say things like you have to pull for a certain card and hopefully you get your man ❓and I keep getting all these rewards like gems and bottles and I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT THEY ARE OR WHAT THEYRE FOR THE GAME WONT TELL ME!! And then I keep getting mail that says my items have expired… WHAT ITEMS I JUST GOT HERE?? I’m sorry I’m so confused lol. I remember you used to talk about it but back then I didn’t know anything about the game, who’s your favorite again? Also this is hotd nonnie and I’m so happy that I encourage you 🥺 I love your work so much, you are genuinely so talented. I’m sorry that people act entitled, I’ve definitely seen that too. I really don’t get it because fanfic writers like yourself are putting your work out for FREE and taking commissions for FREE. It’s such a gift that you share your writing with us at all, please ignore ungrateful people. Idk if you’ve seen this on TikTok but it’s called the bean soup phenomenon, where basically someone made a video about a bean soup recipe and someone commented “But I don’t like beans so what am I supposed to do 🙄” Like uh don’t make the fucking soup??? Some people think that everything has to be catered specifically for them, so on TikTok we always say oh bean soup whenever someone is acting like that lol. When I first recommended hotd and aemond to you I never wanted it to be like oh you HAVE to write for the person I like, I just saw what interests you and thought you would really enjoy him you know? And I’m so happy that you do! All this to say please ignore the entitled people, there’s always going to be people that demand you write what they want you to write, or criticize you for what you do write. They’re bean soup people and are assholes. Some of us literally love everything you write 💙

OMG HI BABY!!

Omg, I’m sorry I’m gonna be like 0 amount of help bc I haven’t played lads in like… SEVERAL MONTHS. I don’t have enough storage on my phone to keep it and project sekai and my comic apps so 😭 but my fave was Rafayel! The bratty fish boy 💚

But love and deepspace is a gacha game which means it’s basically… gambling. You pull during limited banners to hopefully get the better cards, but most of the time you end up using real money on it. Like a genshin impact sorta deal or obey me. The cards get pretty spicy too from what I remember. I DID SEE CALEB THO… I wish I could be around for his cards bc I always crushed on him when I was playing.

AHHH BABY THANK YOU ILYSM you and kanade nonnie keep me going seriously!! I’m like “if I delete my blog what about hotd nonnie : (“ even when I’m not writing, I just enjoy being able to talk to you SO I DONT EVER WANNA GET RID OF THAT

I AM SO SO HAPPY YOU INTRODUCED ME TO AEMOND TOO and I have been working on writing for him!! I know you’re not trying to push me but I hope I can get something finished up soon just to get the ball rolling, it’s always that FIRST fic that hangs me up sosksksk

ALSO,,,, GIRL,,,, I finished game of thrones I’m PISSSEEEEEDDDDD I need to save my anger for the answer to your other ask but JUST KNOW IM SO PISSED ABOUT HOW IT ENDED