#I don’t want to delete it
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Turned off my askbox until I can get caught up.
#there aren’t that many but some of them require involved answers#I’m not sure when I’ll get to them but I don’t want to let them get too built up#then I’ll get overwhelmed again#anyway… thinking about the long term survivability#of this blog#I don’t want to delete it#but I just… I don’t know how long it can go on
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I think a lot of what makes the tma/tme and transandrophobia discussion so volatile is people forgetting systemic vs personal opression
Like I think a lot of tumblr leftists learned “bigotry isn’t just personal! It’s also systemic opression of marginalized groups.” But forgot the “just” and instead started thinking bigotry only exists on the major scale.
Yeah, misandry isn’t a real systematic problem, but you are still capable of personally being bigoted against masculinity.
This is what leads to people telling transfems who disagree with them to kill themselves but still believing themselves to be good transfeminists. They think that acknowledging and fighting against systemic oppression is the only measure of activism
#transandrophobia#very well might delete this because I don’t want ~queer discourse~ on my blog#but I think it’s worth saying#edit: few people pointed out I used the word systematic when i should’ve been saying systemic#so I fixed that ty
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Really didn’t wanna post this 😭
#the reason is that I saw someone else with the EXACT same idea on Pinterest and wanted to self delete 😭#it was supposed to be some sort of backstory thing? idk I don’t really care about it anymore#king dice#king dice cuphead#cuphead oc#cuphead fanart#cuphead
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kind of tragic how dean puts all this responsibility onto himself to be sam’s protector, when the truth is sam has never once been safe. the biggest violation in his life happened when he was six months old, and nobody was there to protect him. and nothing anyone did afterwards could ever make up for that fact.
#spn#dean winchester#sam winchester#guys I keep typing and deleting stuff pls send help#I have complicated thoughts about their dynamic but idk how to phase it#thinking thinking#anyways I have to go to work now#also just to be clear dean was a child and he shouldn’t have had to feel that way about his brother okay BYE#idk why I keep having sam thoughts and feeling the urge to clarify that dean’s traumas are valid too#this fandom scares me okay I don’t want ppl to think I’m participating in the stupid trauma Olympics
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I found this in my drafts and i’ve forgotten what it was leading to so i’m just gonna post it as-is
Tucker was hanging out at Danny’s apartment when a ringtone he didn’t recognize suddenly sounded from the closet. Danny visibly startled and scrambled to dig out… an ancient looking flip-phone.
He raised an eyebrow. “Seriously, Danny? I know I’m not one to talk what with my PDA, but why do you have a piece of junk like that? I know you have a better phone.”
“I’ll explain later.” Danny then answered the phone. “John? What’s going on? I honestly thought you’d forgotten this number.”
#it’s john constantine btw#i think my original intent was something like him being one of John’s old friends/acquaintances he calls up for help with whatever issue#but idk what i was planning for the issue at hand or the timeline of their meeting#so… yeah. idk what to do with it but i don’t want to entirely delete it so i figured why not just post it anyway#dp x dc#dpxdc#dc x dp#dcxdp#danny phantom x dc crossover#incomplete
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Hey, I need some advice. For anyone experienced with kids, how do you deal with young children with hyperactive ADHD. I’m doing well babysitting but I’m afraid of being a pushover and letting these two kids get away with too much, especially when they’re rough-housing.
#ask you#personal#delete later#they’re good kids just very off the walls and screamy which I don’t mind#I generally have a lot of patience with kids who aren’t trying to be assholes#but the eldest brother teases the youngest a lot. and sometimes when I try to explain stuff their attention’s elsewhere#behavior wise they’ll cry or throw small tantrums if you deny them something they want#I’m just being very gentle and trying to explain why they can’t do or have xyz. or I give them something#new to play with to distract them#the good news is they like me. I’ve gotten them to nap#at one point the eldest got too rough and wasn’t listening to me so I barked his name and he immediately stopped and backed off#so that’s good too#but yeah i don’t really know how to explain to the eldest what the golden rule is#oh I showed them bluey too they liked bluey
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I see your (general) “Kakashi expects children to be half as smart as he was at that age” AU and raise you a “Kakashi thinks children are way dumber than they actually are” AU. His only in-person experiences with pre genin are himself, a year at the academy, and Naruto.
So he’s convinced that Iruka is some kind of god for wrangling 17 half-feral children (and Naruto) into real human beings who can read and write and use chopsticks and deadly weapons. Yes, clan children probably learn a bit before, but still.
Kakashi: can’t believe you taught them almost everything they know
Iruka: I didn’t??
Kakashi: I watched you turn 18 hellions into mostly functional members of society
Iruka: most of my kids were well behaved
Kakashi: they absolutely were not, I once saw baby Shino bite Chouji and Hinata took out Gai’s kneecaps because he stood still long enough for her to catch him
#dumb ideas#storm writes#kakairu#iruka tries to point out he only started teaching them when they were like 6-8#I’m actually having a really tough night and had to retype this three times#please have mercy if it isn’t as funny as I think#why is delete a draft/post always on the right#I have so many silly kakairu ideas I want to share#because I don’t think I’ll ever write them#how did this nonsense get 100 notes#you are too kind thank you uwu#200 notes#wow thank you#also like y’all have permission to write this yourselves if you want#it’s on my List but I got other stuff first
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On Swansea’s (often understated) role in Mouthwashing
I say this as a big swansea fan but I don’t rlly understand why ppl are acting like he’s not also complicit in what happened to Anya? AUs where “Anya tells Swansea” and he jumps to violently defend her don’t make sense to me because canonically she does tell him, as he admits to Jimmy. But swansea represents another way of interacting with the capitalist heteropatriarchy that ALSO harms victims: holistic jadedness and resignation.
Swansea is across the board unkind to the Tulpar crew. We can’t forget that he calls anya a “so-called nurse”
and says this to Jimmy, which (if unintentionally) reiterates Jimmy’s own warped perception of Anya’s usefulness and competence. This allows Jimmy to feel justified in his imagination of the nurse’s inferiority. Swansea’s clear lack of respect for Jimmy does less to hurt Jimmy than his lack of respect for Anya harms Anya, because at the end of the day, Swansea’s attitude is contextualized by the violent culture it exists in and he does nothing to reconcile with that when Jimmy becomes the captain. His resignation can thus be weaponized even by Jimmy, a man who Swansea disrespects but whose power he doesn’t try to meaningfully jeopardize, because his across-the-board disdain punches people already marginalized by the environment twice as hard as it does those with power.
Swansea doesn’t position himself as an ally, he positions himself as willfully uninvolved in everything, an observer to the shitshow ride to hell. Just because he dislikes Jimmy doesn’t mean he aligns with Anya. He makes it clear that he’s not on her side, either. After a life of doing what he felt was expected of him, Swansea on the Tulpar looks out for Swansea and Swansea’s comfort. In trying to situate himself outside of the politics of it all as an older white man, he simply allows them to play out. The toxic culture keeps existing, playing out in the microcosm that is this freighter, and Swansea in all his experience recognizes that shit has hit the fan and elects to coast through it, even explicitly numbing himself to it by breaking his sobriety. It is, of course, hard to force yourself to be sober—to see clearly. But had Swansea forced himself to get involved sooner, he might have set a precedent for Daisuke to recognize Jimmy’s abuse, which could have saved Daisuke’s life as well as created a safe space for Anya. But Swansea’s inaction forces both victims to confront an abuser on their own, unable to reap benefits from his privilege and experience.
Jimmy is clearly intimidated by swansea in a way he is not by Anya, Daisuke, or a post-crash Curly (Swansea, for example, physically manifests as an aggressor in Jimmy’s “responsibility sequences”, and Jimmy ties Swansea up to avoid what he sees as the real possibility of pushback that he doesn’t conceive of Anya being able to do). Swansea has a power he does not act on or with until it is far, far too late. In fact, he acknowledges in his final monologue that he was dissatisfied with the discomfort with opening his eyes and living an exemplary “good man”s life. The best days of his life are ones in which he’s belligerently drunk—days in which he didn’t have to hold himself accountable. He regrets the life he spent performing for higher-ups and we watch him reject it by scorning Captain Jimmy, but he also doesn’t want to be held responsible for helping other people when it’s their turn to endure the expectations and violence from similar (if not the same) higher powers. Tragically, he possesses the hindsight to recognize that how he acted on the Tulpar consequently wasn’t what Daisuke needed out of a role model, leading to Daisuke becoming a victim. His hands-off approach to emotional engagement with his young male intern (another symptom of patriarchal gender norms) may have been to avoid Daisuke turning out miserable and jaded like himself, but it doesn’t actually indicate to an already-confused Daisuke what the dangers of that attitude are. Swansea never admits his own shortcomings in a tangible way which, had they come from a man with experience and prestige like himself, may have shifted that culture that failed Anya. She comes to him with the story not because he has situated himself as any earnest friend, but likely out of desperation on a ship Jimmy now controls.
When we allow “the machine” (Swansea’s own words) to beat us down to the point that we don’t find it productive to challenge unjust power dynamics, we become complicit. I think too many people get hung up on his disdain for Jimmy and Jimmy’s fear of Swansea as a marker of allyship with Anya, but the truth is that Swansea. Is a bad ally. He’s hardly one at all. His long stint in the demanding capitalist environment molded a perfectly complicit result out of him, as it aspires to do, even if Swansea bitterly recognizes that. Jimmy’s overt violence from a position of power is a different and much more brutal approach to abuse enabled by people who have been left too tired and bitter to care that he does it. A man who could’ve intimidated and even threatened Jimmy is too resigned to try until there is literally nobody but himself left to fight for, which is an attitude carefully cultivated among the lower rungs of hierarchies to keep the top safe. Swansea in particular seems very unhappy with the capitalistic, patriarchal expectations laid out for him as a father, husband, and laborer. This becomes particularly resonant when you realize the symbolism of his role as mechanic: a job that can be deeply unpersonal, tasked with keeping the ship (the machine, if you will) itself going while other roles are more focused on managing the humans inside of it (e.g. nurse, captain). His decision to just stop trying and spare himself the grief instead of questioning why those expectations exist and how they would hurt the others onboard only delays him being directly targeted by Jimmy and doesn’t interrupt the latter’s violence.
Not a single man in mouthwashing is innocent in Anya’s victimhood. This is a statement tentatively uninclusive of Daisuke, because I think the game very deliberately positions him outside of manhood through his youth and thus struggling with the concept of “fitting in” to the patriarchy. Curly, Jimmy, and Swansea all represent different failures that ultimately perpetuate Anya’s suffering and force her to defend herself and finally take her life into her own hands. A holistic analysis of rape culture in MW necessarily engages with all three of them. Only not being a friend and ally to rapists and other male abusers isn’t enough, and Swansea proves it.
#mouthwashing#not sure I worded this as well as I would’ve liked to because I just woke up#but I’m standing by it for now#I think people don’t think enough about what swansea represents in the story and thus water him down#but with such a small cast we have to realize that everyone is deliberately written with meaning#maybe I’ll delete this later if I feel it was misarticulated#again I like swansea this isn’t meant to start some swansea hate train#I’m just glad that ppl are understanding Curly’s role as an enabler and I want that critical thinking to extend#even to characters we are inclined to like on their face because they’re also mean to Jimmy#.txt 🌊#mouthwashing game#swansea mouthwashing#this post is dedicated to my good friend al who is the resident swansea guy in my mind and talked thru this w me#ily my goat
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I should find another hobby
Anyway, if Merlin was set in modern times, Arthur would have called Merlin his “gay awakening”.
#arthur’s mind in this moment (probably)#‘what the fuck is a stab with a magical sword anyway’#‘let me kiss merlin’#‘let’s smooch’#‘let’s go back to camelot and copulate’#‘why haven’t i done this before i mean WHATEVER I’M JUST DYING SO’#‘let’s make the best of my last few moments AM I RIGHT FELLAS’#‘come on merlin one small peck coME HERE’#and merlin’s thoughts (probably):#‘if you die without kissing me i will sentence you to death’#‘no hesitation’#‘put those pretty lips on minE COME ON ARTHIE’#merlin’s thought as he waits for arthur’s return (probably)#‘i’ll kill him again. what the fuck does thank you even mean’#‘bro be for real we’re just gay’#‘we were supposed to bed each other and you died in my arms instead’#‘pretty dramatic if you ask me’#if you didn’t notice i’m going insane#merthur#bbc merlin#merlin#arthur pendragon#merlin bbc#i’ll probably delete it later because i don’t feel that sure about it but i wanted a laugh#i made this out of desperation for the finale since i finished my rewatch#please send help
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I don’t want to be a hater because I genuinely do like parts of the London revival, but I don’t like the components at all. They’re just copy pastes of each other, I follow most of the cast on TikTok and no matter how many videos I see I can’t tell them apart
downgrade of the century
#purse the money truck#krupp the armaments truck#volta the freezer truck#joule the dynamite truck#wrench the repair truck#killerwatt the security truck#stex#might delete later I don’t want to seem like a hater#I love all stex productions I promise
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I’m going to phrase this delicately because I’m so deeply grateful and awed by the support I’ve received.
But I will say it is a little anxiety inducing how many people feel they can talk about coming home whatever way they want openly and publicly because it has “numbers” or whatever (referring to my own work like this makes me want to claw my eyes out because they baffle me and I don’t necessarily feel I deserve them but it’s important for context).
This is Especially true for the way people speak under things I very much see. Art of the fic. My Twitter mutuals posts. Things I will very obviously interact with. It feels like someone is walking into my back yard and talking shit as if I'm literally not standing in said yard like this 🧍
You make something for a community for free as an act of passion and then the community in turn becomes something that isn’t quite accessible to you anymore. I’ve seen this happen to a lot of fic writers in my previous fandoms and idk man it’s just kind of a bummer.
Like. Fanfic and fanart is made by people in the fandom for the fandom. It’s not work being produced by some distant people in Hollywood who shouldn’t be in the fandom space in the first place.
Idk, it’s actually pretty rare that this happens to me but I wanted to mention I am a human who can very much read the things you say guys 😭 like if you reblog art related to my work and call it a bunch of petty names and say you had to dnf I can see that. It’s totally ok to feel whatever way you want. But maybe don't feel that way in my back yard.
Again. I’m so grateful for everything I really am. You absolutely do not have to fuck with my work. Fuck I don't fuck with my work sometimes DKLFJSDHF. This is probably the last time I’ll talk about this because the last thing I want to do is come off like I can’t take criticism and I’m ungrateful. But sometimes I really am chewing at my enclosure like IM RIGHT HERE MAN IM LITERALLY BEHIND YOU HOW DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THAT.
#on the upside I have definetly developed a thicker skin over the past month#I genuinely mean it things that used to phase me now just kind of annoy me#but on the other hand#I do feel fic writers should be able to be members of the fandoms they write for#I’ve noticed some of the other writers in this fandom once they get attention do not interact much#but idk I don’t…. want that to be me#9/10 chance I’ll feel weird about this and delete in the next five minutes to an hour#but yeah sometimes I do feel there’s this ‘shut up and be grateful’ thing that gets imposed on me#but I can be grateful and also set boundaries and talk about things that make me stressed or uncomfortable me thinks#never something i'd do on twitter. but something i'm going to cautiously attempt here#honestly if this helps one person realize how to better interact in fandom spaces online i'll be happy#also side note since im leaning towards maybe keeping this up#im literally fine. i'm big chilling right now. posted this in a good headspace over my coffee yada yada#no need to defend my honor or point fingers you know#also i know to an extent that this stuff is inevitable#and i cannot stop it or whatever. but again. i'd at least like to say it just the once#at this point its not even the crit itself that makes me feel a certain type of way#it just makes me feel kind of invisible and dehumanized
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Normally, I wouldn't really say anything about the drama and stuff, because that's not what I'm here for and honestly I feel like a lot of it is just none of my business. But, it just feels so close to home for me that I can't help but say something. Because here's the thing people aren't going to talk about and probably don't even realize, but I think so much of this drama actually has to do with Dream being autistic.
Just notice the themes of what Tubbo said about Dream being weird, inappropriate, not considering the social boundaries, not communicating, coming across wrong… etc these are all things that can be attributed to Dream literally not knowing better because of neurodivergence. That’s not an excuse but an explanation to know the difference between Dream texting Tommy’s mom out of being manipulative versus not understanding how that breaks a social boundary. That’s not to say Dream should get a free pass to do whatever but I think in the same way we take into consideration other people’s ages and their naivety and obliviousness and inexperience into consideration, Dream’s neurodivergence should be considered too. It is valid. It makes a difference between manipulative and malicious intent versus simply not seeing it the same way.
And really the sad thing is, that I think people will always dislike Dream. At the end of the day, I think that will never change, because even if he was the most perfect person people would still dislike him because of an underlying subconscious response to him not being like the rest. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that he is made the villain in real life and in the dsmp, because it is simply a psychological fact that people inherently dislike autistic people. It’s not because they are ableist it’s just we don’t act like they do so that makes us weird and therefore unlikeable. And it’s hard to understand us because our brains our literally different and as has been said throughout history what we don’t understand we hate, we fear, we see as evil, we attack. Why does Dream get canceled and attacked over and over again? Not because they are true and it proves a pattern that he’s shitty, but because society is so desperate to find a more tangible reason to hate him other than the fact that they just do. Because his behavior breaks social rules he didn’t realize existed. Because he’s easy pickings. Because in my opinion it all comes down to autism and honestly until that piece is actually taken into consideration nothing will probably resolve.
#agh it’s so frustrating to watch something play out when you know exactly why because it’s played out in your own life#when you see people say things and yet not understand what eachother are saying#agdjnsgjfnwhd…it just… oh as an autistic person who has masked so well I have in many ways become the bridge between neurodivergent and#neurotypical it is infuriating to see this all unfolding for years and not being about to do anything to highlight what’s happening#dream#dreamblr#dreamwastaken#also like with politics - like you don’t get it but in the US south you can’t just hate everyone who votes a certain way or whatever because#you’d be hating your whole family your friends your boss your coworkers like it’s easy in Britain to have you high horse but that’s just not#how it is here… I can’t afford to just hate everyone it’s just not that simple#and when it comes to his sexuality. is it so unfair of him to just not know. like not want to say he’s straight or gay because he doesn’t#know… should we be allowed to figure things out…#….. I should go to bed I just I wanted to say something because tubbo making comments like - it’s not that black and white and stuff to an#autistic person had be slamming my head because yea it seems that way to us by default#probably delete this tomorrow… I don’t know… good night peeps
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collection of wreck it ralph drawings
ew this guy
#i might delete this later#:(#I don’t like how it turned out#art#wir#wreck it Ralph#turbo#sergeant calhoun#fix it felix#sonic#sonic wir#turbo twins (briefly)#redoing of old hcs#I’ll make this look better some other time#I just wanted to share these#hero’s cuties#snowanna rainbeau#my favorite racer#I’d tag handplates but it’s only a mention nah I don’t think I will#even then I’m only referring to the ugakaga version#he’s probably collecting dust in my files . oops#yap yap yap#if you’re reading this hello :3#this is probably too long I’ll shut up now lol#more apps should let you ramble in the tags it’s so fun to me
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“Pretty, just like your mother.”
#kotlc#keeper of the lost cities#della vacker#biana vacker#it’s post-scar biana#I’ve wanted to draw della for so long#also angsty biana#my art#the vackers✨#also please#if you don’t like me drawing the vackers black please just scroll#I can’t figure out how to delete comments on my device yet#so please don’t leave any hate comments thank you💛#kotlc fanart
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one of those nights
#small vent#lately I’ve been questioning things a lot#and this overwhelming feeling of being lonely takes over#and I question myself and my feelings and thoughts on certain things#sometimes i end up thinking im a bad person#the guilt i feel because I don’t do ship art gets overwhelming sometimes#and i end up feeling like an asshole because of it#but I genuinely just can’t (at least not for the gf fandom)#family and platonic moments are just way too important to me#which might explain a small desire wanting to have that but unable to#maybe it’s the aroaceness in me idk#it just gets really lonely sometimes in your own corner#i’m sorry#I know things like this can be annoying but I needed to vent#some more light-hearted things hopefully soon#delete later
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every day i shed a tear as i am reminded that we could’ve had faun/satyr micky in head and we didn’t. where is he.
#but that means we would’ve had clown peter as well and i don’t know if want that#but man micky could’ve been mr tumnus dude!!! we could’ve had it all!!#not even a deleted scene of him or nothin#if anyone has any more photos of him in this costume PLEASE hand them over#micky dolenz#the monkees
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