#I don’t understand why it’s so difficult in our world
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slimethatmakesyounut · 2 days ago
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I don’t usually add stuff but I want to point out that ads and marketing are designed explicitly so it feels like your choice. The idea that you are not affected by it is something that you truly cannot assess normally because the best result of an ad is for someone to feel like it’s all their idea. Autonomy, or the feeling of control is a huge aspect of motivation and it is one that will ultimately make it difficult for you to determine if you buying something is your choice or something you were influenced into.
This is also amplified by the fact a lot of our choices are already dependent of social factors. You are constantly being influenced and I don’t say that to make it seem like we don’t have any control but this is why monitoring your environment is so important. If you spend a lot of your time around people who are doomers, for example, you will be influenced and see the world differently even if you feel that you disagree with them or their ideas.
Also to echo an idea I’ve saw in the comments, if ads did not work then the would not spend that much money on them. I promise you the individuals paid to do this understand human psychology a lot more than you give them credit for.
"advertising doesn't work" the increase in scentbird ads and people talking about a "personal signature scent" directly correlates with my family's interest in perfumes. Even if they're not using scentbird, something probably changed to make them want perfumes more, right?
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alyakthedorklord · 2 years ago
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Batman the Playboy
Justice League, not quite early days but before proper identity reveals, though everyone knows Batman knows theirs, bc he has Opinions™ and Constructive Criticisms™ on their secret-keeping.
The issue is brought up on random occasions. The most notable incident- the Justice League, including Batman, being Drunk for Bonding, (or hit with some kind of drug while out saving the world) and Batman, in a fit of paranoid good intentions because he CARES about these idiots, damnit, why must they be so careless, starts insulting them.
Batman, leaning heavily on the table: “GL, you’re a mess, I don’t even know where to start with you. And Arrow! Your goatee is so distinctive, it’s a wonder no one has called you out on it-“
Green Arrow, also drunk: “Alright, there’s no need to insult my awesome facial hair-”
Batman, in despair: “It’s so ugly.”
Green Arrow: (offended noises)
Green Lantern: “Okay, the only reason you know our secret identities is because you’re a rude nosy bastard who needs to know everything about us like a creepy stalker who needs an ego boost! We’re not stupid, Spooky, we’re just polite. We could figure you out easily if we wanted to. Superman can see right through your mask!”
Usually, Batman would have a good response to that. Something smart and reasonable like “villains won’t care for your privacy, I’m testing you,” or something cutting like “I don’t care enough about you to go digging, I set your secret identity as a training exercise for Robin.”
However, Batman is Drunk, because for some reason imbibing drugs that dampen higher brain function is socially acceptable and often, for some reason, expected, because it’s “team bonding” and “come on just loosen up a bit.” (Also for him, drunk=Brucie)
So what Batman ends up saying is: “I could kiss you full on the lips in my secret identity and you wouldn’t know a thing.”
Superman, plucking the glass from Batman’s hand: “Aaaand that is enough alcohol for you!”
Batman nods. Thank God. He wants to go home and sleep. But first: “Superman, yours is so stupid it’s almost impressive-”
———
Of course, Green Lantern has smelled a challenge. And Green Lantern must annoy Batman. It’s his true superpower. So, the next time they meet (sober) he brings up the issue again.
GL: “So about what you said at the party… the part where you could kiss us full on the lips without us knowing. You still confident in that without liquid courage, Spooky? Bet you your real name you can’t do it.”
Batman, regretting the fact that alcohol has ever passed his lips: “I could do it, but I will not.”
Flash, curious: “Why’s that?”
Batman: “Informed Consent. I will not risk making any of you feel violated, or manipulated, for the sake of a stupid bet and my ego.”
GA, still offended by the goatee comment, trying to back Batman into a corner: “So if we give consent, we’re fair game? Try me, Batman. Even you can’t pull this off. Anyone else game?”
Some of the Justice League laughs, raising their hands.
Flash: “Come get me, hot stuff! I’ll call you out!”
Wonder Woman: “It could be amusing.”
Martian Manhunter: “I would be far too difficult a target.”
Green Arrow: “Not just you. C’mon, Spooky, flirting well enough to get a kiss from me? I’m a classy lady.”
Black Canary: “D-class, maybe.”
Superman, wants a kiss in on the fun: 🙋🏻‍♂️
“So that’s it then!” Green Lantern says smugly. “Batman, if you can kiss… how many people raised their hands? Ah yes- HALF THE JUSTICE LEAGUE, without anyone realizing it’s you, then you win.”
Batman scoffs and walks out, leaving the Justice League in stitches at their joke. Because- Batman? Being good enough at flirting to land a kiss on half the league, without it being forced or awkward, without them recognizing his body language, his voice, his build? How ridiculous!
The Batman is Autistic. The Batman does not understand jokes, especially not ones that are half truths. The Batman has consent, and something to prove.
And Bruce Wayne, billionaire, playboy, and sexy DILF, has targets.
(Please tell me how you think he gets each League member.)
Edit: there have been a bunch of awesome additions in the notes! My own take here.
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justrymesblog · 11 days ago
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Before you read this, I want you to know that this message might be hard to hear, but it could also be the beginning of the change you’ve been seeking.
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Many of us, myself included, spend our lives searching for a savior, an epiphany, or something external to rescue us: a book, a speech, a mentor, a sign. We think that this one thing will open the doors to a better life. We cling desperately to small details, convincing ourselves they’re the confirmation we need to keep going: mirror numbers on a clock, a fallen feather, a butterfly crossing our path. We say, “It’s a sign from the universe, I’m on the right track”—all while staying trapped in a cycle we hate but find so hard to escape.
We often become slaves to the material world. We buy talismans, books, or listen to subliminal audios on repeat, seeking immediate results: “Why isn’t this audio working?”, “How many times do I need to listen to it to see a change?” We even sleep with headphones on, hoping it will speed up the process, yet the change never seems to come.
I understand you because I’ve been there.
It took me years to escape that cycle. Years of feeling lost, stuck, tied to my own thoughts and patterns. I spent months not knowing what to do, always ending up back at the same point. I turned to religions where I never felt truly at home. I prayed in churches, temples, and altars, waiting for miracles that never came. I lived believing that something external would change my destiny, but each attempt only led to disappointment. The reality? Nothing changed—or worse, things got even harder.
Then I realized: the only salvation comes from within.
We are the architects of our lives. Our minds are the most powerful tool we have. There are no limits beyond the ones we impose on ourselves. Imagine something unimaginable—a dream, a reality that seems impossible—and yet, you have the power to manifest it! But here’s the challenge: you must truly believe it. You must understand that you are in complete control.
If you want to be wealthy, you can achieve it. If you desire perfect health, unconditional love, travel, or anything else, it’s within your reach. Nothing is too big or too small for your creative power. But first, you must let go of limiting ideas like, “I wasn’t born rich” or “My life would have been different if I had better advantages.” These thoughts are just chains you’ve placed on yourself.
The first step to change is to take full responsibility for everything that has happened in your life. Yes, everything. It’s difficult, but that’s the key: accepting that you created your current reality, which means you also have the power to transform it.
If you’re tired of living the same way, PUT AN END TO IT.
Dare to change. Break free from everything that limits you. Rebuild your story from scratch. One of my favorite phrases always reminds me:
"When you see no way out, remember: the end is the beginning of everything."
Did you know there are scientific experiments that prove the incredible power of our minds? The CIA has documented studies on practices like remote viewing, where individuals can perceive things beyond space and time. These studies are not theories or pseudoscience—they are real evidence of our infinite potential.
There are also studies about how our thoughts impact matter. Researchers like Masaru Emoto demonstrated how our emotions and words can alter the molecular structure of water. If our words can affect something as tangible as water, imagine what they can do to your life, your cells, and your entire reality.
The limits don’t exist, except in your mind.
Life is as malleable as clay in the hands of a sculptor. And you are the sculptor. The question is no longer “What can I achieve?” but “What can’t I create?”
The time you have is precious. Use it to build the life you truly want, because the only obstacle standing between you and your dreams is you. The key is to believe and to act from that powerful force within you.
Remember: nothing is impossible. The moment to transform your life begins now.
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tanadrin · 21 days ago
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I would love to hear the rant about social media doomerism and conspiracy
I’m on my phone right now but the summary version is something like:
Humans are bad at integrating information into their worldview accurately bc of various cognitive biases
Social media incentivizes us seeking out content that excites fear or anger or irritation
Social media thus causes us to form negative impressions of the world bc it mediates so much information consumption and discourse these days
This general negative affective impression is subject to high confirmation bias and ppl in general are really bad at divorcing an affective impression of a thing from their dispassionate reasoning abt a thing
(Bc one of the functions of an affective impression is to “cache” our conclusions about a topic to save time and effort later)
(In general if you are a cynic and pessimist you can fall prey to these biases w/o social media but I think social media makes more ppl susceptible to them)
People don’t want to be dupes so they seek refuge in cynicism. We treat cynicism as wise or worldly when in fact cynicism makes you a dupe and an easy mark for grifters. Cynicism and low trust foster conspiracism, paranoia, and antisocial politics
(This is why so many congenitally contrarian folks seem to flit effortlessly between the far left and far right; it’s not horseshoe theory, they’ve just cooked their brains on this stuff)
This is a world where populist anti-social politicians like Trump and the AfD thrive, bc they will lie about how everything is terrible and people will nod along, bc it explains why their social media is full of awful stories of, like, immigrants eating pets and shit
But it doesn’t just have to be insane lies only a moron could believe. It can be any impression about a fact in the world that it is difficult to personally check and which is vulnerable to being swayed by anecdote
This is how we get a word where people think crime rates are higher than they’ve ever been when in fact crime is falling
Or child predators lurk around every corner when in fact children are safer than ever
Or the American economy is in a recession when in fact it’s doing historically well by just about every available metric (now with full employment AND low inflation!)
Because in a big world even where things are in general good and getting better you can always produce infinite individual examples of shitty things and pipe those in a steady stream into people’s eyeballs, and then point to that and leverage people’s low trust attitudes and their cynicism which tells them they are smarter than the experts and go “statistics is just a fancy way to lie! The world is secretly terrible! Every bad thing is even worse than you thought and every good thing is a lie!”
(Nevermind the whole phenomenon where anything that is complicated or that someone does not themselves understand gets treated like it’s actually secret and a conspiracy.)
And here I know I have to include some disclaimer about how this is not to discount individual cases of suffering or struggle, which are real, or that there are indeed some really awful things happening in the world right now, which there are, but you know what?
I’m tired of doing that. People with reading comprehension operating in good faith ought to be able to deduce that general statements do not obviate particular exceptions, and people who cling to their doomerism as a kind of emotional life raft do not generally argue with me in good faith.
Sometimes doomerism is a load-bearing pillar of their politics, which I think is dumb—I think you can be a leftist or a progressive without being a doomer! In fact I think doomerism is antithetical to useful politics!
Sometimes they are just depressed and treatment-resistant. Sometimes they are just angry misanthropes who want to feel justified in their misanthropy. Some doomers are themselves in bad circumstances and feeling hopeless about that—to them I am enormously sympathetic. Though a lot of doomers will admit they personally are doing OK—this does not seem to be most doomers.
But I think in general cynicism and doomerism and a worldview dominated by a general nebulous air of Everything Is Awful and by abstract nouns with threatening auras is not conducive to wisdom or understanding or useful politics or leading a happy and fulfilling life.
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thecordelialetters · 10 months ago
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I’ll love you in every multiverse I Five Hargreeves x Reader
WC: 1,791
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Post Apocalypse Au! ( Yes Im writing another one )
Pt. 1 Pt.2 Pt.3 Pt.4
Summary: The Umbrella’s can understand jumping through time and all its rules, yeah fuck with the timeline and it’ll fuck you right back. But what happens when a portal opens up in the middle of the academy and outfalls a girl who claims to be Five’s wife from a different universe.
Disclaimer: This takes place after season one if Viktor didn’t blow up the moon.
The Umbrella Academy had saved the world from its supposed end. The siblings had lounged around the academy slowly letting reality set that they had avoided their demise. It was the next morning when each of them woke up to check their surroundings, making sure that doomsday wasn’t there.
Five went downstairs for his morning coffee when he saw Allison scrolling for flights on her phone and Klaus checking where was the next place he could buy drugs.
“Leaving so soon?” He questioned.
Allison looked up at him although happy to see her brother, guilty because he was right.
“I have to go see my daughter. After everything that has happened I need her now just as much as she needs me.”
Five nodded his head, understanding where she was coming from, although a little irked she wasn’t wasting any time running away.
A loud zap was heard and wind swirled toward the top of the room. A red portal had opened above the living room. The rest of the siblings (Luther, Viktor, Diego) had rushed down to see what the loud noise was. It was deja vu, like when Five had returned for the first time. In the portal, they could see a fight happening. Figures that had looked like them in a place that looked like their home. A woman’s back came close to the portal, they could see she was in combat but stood observing. Another man who they couldn’t identify, rushed forward and pushed the woman through the portal.
A girl who looked to be in her early twenties had fallen through. Her face was covered in soot, her hair black as night, and her eyes closed in pain. She was wearing a navy body suit that clung to her figure, and blood, not her own, stained the fabric.
The Hargreeves gathered around to observe this strange phenomenon trying to assess the danger. They were so used to people being against them, so why would this time be different.
You coughed loudly before sitting up, and each sibling tensed with adrenaline. The girl looked around the room with blazing blue eyes before she landed on the youngest Hargreeves.
“Five?” you questioned.
Everyone turned to look at Five.
Luther spoke up first, “You know her?”
“I have never met her in my life.” Five retorted.
The girl dusted off her suit before standing. “Well if you never met me, you either will meet me or I’m dead in this universe.”
“The names y/n , y/n Hargreeves.”
“I don’t remember our father adopting anyone else,” Diego said. He raised his knives, carefully ready to strike at any move she would make.
“That’s because I wasn’t adopted into this family. Married actually.” And with this, she held up her left hand, a beautiful diamond ring shone in the light with a gold band beneath it. The diamond was embellished with 2 smaller emeralds on the side, perhaps representing her lover’s eyes.
“Married? To who.” Viktor questioned.
“To him.” She looked back at Five.
“Well not to him, an alternate version of him. We met a few years ago and got married, nice seeing the family again,” she nodded her head towards the siblings.
“So what are you saying you guys are married in a different timeline?” Klaus asked.
“No, not a different timeline, a different universe.” She sat down on the couch.
Your brain felt like it was rattling against your skull, and your body ached. You took a minute to think. Fuck, it was going to be difficult to get back to your Earth, and to make things better you had no idea where to start.
“Alright before you all start firing questions at me, someone get me a cup of coffee, black please.” You threw a jacket that hung over the couch on you to hide the state of your clothes. "Allow me," The alternate of your husband said. Five quickly blinked the two of you into the car and began to drive, leaving his brothers and sisters dumbfounded. "So you and I, are married in another multiverse."
"Correct." "You look to be about my age, how come I haven't met you yet here." Surely he would remember someone as beautiful as you. "Well it's as I said, my version here could be dead or you might not have met her yet. That being said although 18 out of the 20 multiverses I have visited, we are together." "And the other two?" "In Earth 216, we are strangers, never have crossed paths, and never will. We simply live our lives with other people." Five's eyebrows furrowed. For some reason even if he didn't know you, he didn't like the idea of you with someone else. "In Earth 894, we were madly in love but our egos destroyed us, and we were never the same since." Five could tell there was more to that story but didn't press any further. "So tell me about us, how did we end up together." "I was Diego's friend first, he and I met in the police force. Diego kinda took me under his wing as I was the youngest graduate out of the academy. Perks of having a high IQ." Five raised his eyebrow at that. "Anyways, he invited me over after your father's funeral. " "Long story short, you fell in love with my charms and I was the only one who could tolerate you. We got married not too long after. It was a small wedding but it's my most precious memory. Our families had gathered together at the church no too far away from here. You cried on our wedding day by the way." Inciting a side glare from Five.
"But...that's where we had some problems." "Do you remember when I fell out of that portal?" Five nodded his head remembering seeing a fight in the alternate dimension. "Well, apparently some of the 43 are not too happy about their powers, nor happy about living among the common people, they believed themselves superior and it became chaos." The two of you arrived at Griddys. Five walked over to the side of your door and opened it for you. "Thank you, darling." You said with a smile. Five's heart spiked at the nickname. He shook his head at the feeling, obviously, it's just what you were used to calling YOUR Five. The two of you sat at the counter and ordered your coffees and sweets. You signed before pulling out a small stack of photos from inside your suit. "This is us and your family." The photo was a picture of you and Five on your wedding day. Five had never looked so happy. Beside him was Luther who he assumed was his best man, next to him was Viktor, Diego, and a man who looked like you. You must have caught his staring, "That's my brother Damien." He nodded and looked beside you. You were wearing a long white dress with intricate lacing, the dress was strapless with a square neckline and had a small slit on the side. Your veil was flipped over your head and flowed down your back. Beside you, was Allison as your maid of honor and two other women who he assumed were your friends. You weren't looking at the camera but at him. The next picture you gave him was a close-up of the two of you. You were the one taking the photo. His alternate self was older and had longer hair and facial hair, but he faced your side kissing your cheek affectionately. "This is my favorite photo of you." You handed him another photograph but this one didn't have you in it. This one was a picture of just Five and in his arms a little girl. She looked like you. Five gulped, a million questions ran through his head. Could this... could this have been his future if he didn't make that stupid jump? You said that not all multiverses are the same, you and him could never meet in this one. But that didn't stop his heart from hurting at the thought of missing out on a life of happiness because of his arrogance. "Before you jump to conclusions, she's not ours. She's my niece that we were babysitting. You just looked so sweet with her. You had always told me you wanted kids before but I wasn't ready." You had looked away sadly. In your home, Five always wanted to settle down and raise a family of his own, but you felt like you weren't ready. Now you regretted not because you weren't sure if you would ever be able to get back home. The two of you sat in silence drinking your coffee, both thinking about the what-ifs. "So...how did you end up here. I've been able to time travel but I've never thought about the possibility of multi-dimensional traveling." "As I said there was a fight between us, your family, and some of the 43. They called themselves the Ascendants. Believe to be the superior race." You took a deep breath before continuing. "The Ascendants had a man who could travel the multiverse with his own power, no special gear or machine need. We had planned to capture him but miscalculated. He was ready for us and he aimed to take out me, his biggest threat."
You took another breath before looking into Five's eyes. "I can warp reality. It is essentially in the name. I can manipulate reality itself, altering the fabric of existence according to my will." "But not without a cost," you continued. "Each time I control something, and the bigger it is, the more of my life force I use." Five sat in silence. This was a lot of information to take in. "So what now. How do I help you get back home." "I have...no clue. You were always the smarter one of the two of us. You were the one who had built the machine, of course before it was destroyed when Viktor took out the house." You sighed. It was going to take a lot of research and time to figure it out. "Well, I'm newly retired and have nothing on my plate so let's start at the library." He hopped off the stool and made his way to the door. "You coming?" He said turning to look at you. You smiled, he was a great man. Even if this Five wasn't your husband you loved him no matter what. You ran up looping your arm in his making your way out of Griddy's. ⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆⋆。‧˚ Pt 2 of this story is out now!
Author's note: I got tons of drafts just full of ideas I've had and never gone through with. I've been rewatching the MCU films and Spiderverse so that was kinda my inspiration for this one. If you like my work check out my other Five stories here! I also always appreciate comments and feedback! It definitely keeps me going. She's my Angel Pt1. Shes my Angel Pt2.
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little-jana · 1 month ago
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"In the Depths of Thoughts"
Part 2
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Pairing: Spencer Reid x f!reader
Genre: fluff
Warnings: none
Words: 950
Summary: Reader forms a quiet, emotional connection with Spencer as they work together on a case.
It was an ordinary day in the office of the Behavioral Analysis Unit, yet everything felt different. The flickering screen in front of me, the quiet conversations of the other team members, the soft clicks of keyboards – all of it was background noise in a symphony of thoughts that only I seemed to hear. And my thoughts, they belonged only to him.
Spencer Reid.
He sat there, at his usual spot, which wasn’t just his corner of the office but the center of my universe. It was hard to explain why, but every time I looked at him, it felt like time slowed down. Like every moment I spent in his presence was more precious than the last.
I knew how he thought. I understood the way he immersed himself in his books, the way he used words to explain the world as though it were an endless puzzle only he could grasp in its depth. He was so brilliant, so unique – and so incredibly vulnerable.
Lately, I’d caught myself sneaking glances at him more than once. The way he talked to the others, how his hands moved when he developed a theory that seemed incomprehensible to most of us but was so natural to him. It was almost as if I could physically feel the flow of his thoughts moving through his body, as though his intelligence was a tangible presence.
“Have you gone through the new profile?” I suddenly heard his voice behind me. It was calm, almost too calm, as if he didn’t want to disturb me. I turned around and met his gaze. For a moment, I was frozen. It was as if his eyes were piercing right through me, as if he could read what I couldn’t bring myself to say.
“Yeah, I just finished it,” I replied, trying to keep my voice steady and professional. But it was difficult when his gaze, that penetrating gaze, was so intense. The way he looked at me wasn’t uncomfortable. On the contrary, it was almost as if he was discovering me – me, not just as a colleague but as something much deeper. Something I couldn’t name, but that rose within me every time he was near.
“Good,” he said with a faint smile, which only amplified his shy charm. “If you want, we can go through it together. Maybe you’ll find something I missed.” It was the way he said it – calm, yet so inviting – that I couldn’t resist agreeing.
We sat together at a table, the screen between us, but in that moment, it felt as though everything else around us faded. Only he and I. I could feel the quiet presence of his nearness, the subtle shift in his body as he searched for his thoughts. It was almost as though we were engaged in a silent conversation – a conversation without words. Our eyes met again and again, and with each glance, something unspoken seemed to pass between us – an unspoken connection that I couldn’t explain but that was drawing me in more and more.
“You know,” he suddenly began, his voice quieter, “I admire how you always stay so calm. You have a way of interacting with people that I don’t have. I... I often don’t understand what goes on in people’s heads. But with you, you have such a calmness that I somehow... admire.” His words hit me like a soft blow to the stomach. I wasn’t sure if he realized what he had just said, but it felt like he was breaking down a wall – a wall that stood between us.
I could feel my heart racing as I looked into his eyes. “Spencer,” I whispered, “you’re… so much more than you think. You’re extraordinary. You see the world in a way no one else can. Your intelligence is... overwhelming. But it’s your empathy that really sets you apart. You understand people in a way that you might not even realize.” I paused, unsure if I should say more, but I couldn’t stop myself from continuing. “You’re not just the brilliant investigator who finds the answers. You’re someone who can delve into the deepest corners of the human mind without ever losing your humanity.”
For a moment, it was silent. The words I had spoken hung between us, floating like a delicate thread in the air. Then, slowly, almost from a distance, I felt his hand on mine. It was a careful, almost hesitant touch – but it was there. It was as if, in that moment, he allowed himself to be something more. More than just the brilliant, fact-driven agent. More than just the quiet man who never knew how to open up to others.
“I...,” he began, his voice faltering. “I don’t know how to explain it, but... sometimes I feel like I’m lost in a world of data. Like I only understand life through theories and formulas. But you... you’ve shown me that there’s more. That there are moments that can’t be captured by calculations.” He took a deep breath before continuing. “I... I appreciate that more than you can imagine.”
His words hit me, and without hesitation, I squeezed his hand. “Spencer,” I said softly, “you’re not alone. Not in your world of numbers, of theories. I’m here. I’ll always be here to remind you that there’s more – more than just the facts.”
And in that moment, as time seemed to stand still, I knew there was something between us that went beyond words. Something we both understood, but never needed to speak aloud. A bond stronger than any calculation.
Part 2
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thrfted · 1 month ago
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꩜ DATING MR. SILVAIR .ᐟ
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Mix of other + our world headcanons (Italics is in the other world’s language!)
For the anon who requested! Vry glad you liked Mr. Crawling’s, thanks for the trust w Silvair :D Feel like I see him a lot.. nicer..? than most hcs I’ve seen and I’m not sure if that’s good or bad for mebjfhdsfhjd
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(seen in ending 3) Mr. Silvair loves studying and learning about you, but he still feels bad if you seem upset or get hurt. If or when he doesn’t understand why you’re upset, he’ll ask what he did and apologize. He values learning about these differences in emotions, communication, perspective, etc.
He isn’t naturally physically affectionate, but he doesn’t refuse your requests or affection! He at least pats your head or back, not letting go until you do (unless he’s got things to do). Initially confused, he admits it feels nice when you hug him and that he’s started looking forward to (or at least expecting) it.
^ You can ask him for a forehead kiss or two, even if he doesn’t get why. He understands that it makes you happy and it isn’t like it’s doing him any harm anyway!  You’ll probably have to show him what a kiss is though. Will he find it amusing if you become flustered kissing him first? Say “Cute”? Probably.
You and Mr. Chopped become close friends too, sometimes (playfully) gossiping to each other about Mr. Silvair while he’s off doing experiments. There’s a few times Mr. Silvair seems to get jealous by the amount of time you guys spend together, especially if he catches you laughing at Mr. Chopped’s antics. He takes initiative and tries to have one-on-one time with you after that.
Maybe he does tie his hair back and we don’t know it, but I think he’d appreciate the idea if you brought it up! Sometimes it’s a half-up look, a simple ponytail, or you braid it back if you want. As long as it’s out of his face and not difficult to take out, he doesn’t mind.
If you enjoy/are comfortable with it, he might ask for your help with experiments, or… you? Your blood sometimes, at least. But he respects you if you’d rather stay away, even if he’s disappointed for a while.
Both of you spend quite a bit of time walking and talking while trying to find a new room when need be. You start to teach him your language, and he uses a few words and phrases when possible.
Mr. Silvair is more focused on experiments rather than interior decoration. But whether you ask to decorate his place in the other world or show him your home in ours, he grows a fondness for your taste. He even brings home things that remind him of you to see if you'll enjoy them.
^ In the same branch, if you bring something you think he’ll like, he takes good care of it, making sure its always somewhere safe!
Of course, he can’t really do the same studies in our world, or at least get his subjects in the same way. Be warned that he may or may not want to go out and find test subjects… somewhere…?
But on the bright side, it’s literally a whole new world! With so much available to him, at least he has other ways to learn than capturing and cutting things or people up.
Mr. Silvair as a good cook / kitchen helper? Really good at cutting up food, even if he doesn’t want to eat it.
In general he’s pretty good around the house! He remembers chores and keeps his space tidy for both your sakes, helping out wherever he can.
His hair is already pretty, but imagine how nice it’d look and feel after a shower! You keep running your fingers through his hair and he tilts his head. “You like? Pretty?” You nod and ask “Me pretty?” and Mr. Silvair smiles. “Pretty.” (Subconsciously, he starts paying closer attention to your hair or appearance, and how you take care of yourself.)
^ He isn’t particular about scents (other than preferring subtler ones) and will likely use whatever you use unless asked otherwise. Don’t expect him to pick up a hair or skincare routine though.
The first few days especially, Mr. Silvair is so focused on seeing and learning as much as possible, that he’ll likely be up late. He doesn’t really get the whole day and night thing, so you have to tell him that rest is good, and that you’re worried for him. “You worried?” “Yes. We rest.” “...Okay.”
His understanding of love is still different from yours, but (I think) he does care about you, and loves you in his own way! He makes sure you’re safe, helps you when you’re injured, and enjoys spending time with you. I’m not sure if he’d say “I love you” (since he doesn’t comprehend what that really means) but he’d at least reassure you that he likes you and finds you interesting :3
^ Though I’ll say if you’re a romance genre fan in our world, he picks up on the usage of “I love you” in media and if it matches his emotions, he might try it out and see how you react
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jeonscatalyst · 14 days ago
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Whenever I see people scrambling to dismiss the possibility that Jimin and Jungkook might be more than friends by resorting to arguments like “They’re brothers” or “Jimin said Jungkook is like his brother,” I can’t help but feel perplexed.
It’s genuinely baffling to me because, what did you expect Jimin to say? “Jungkook is my lover”? The lack of awareness in such arguments is striking, and honestly a little disheartening especially when it’s clear that many of these people haven’t taken the time to understand even the basics of queer history, the reality of being closeted, or the necessity of concealing relationships to protect oneself and loved ones in the face of societal prejudice.
When people bring up these points, I find myself asking the question “When did Jimin and Jungkook officially come out as a couple?” The answer, of course, is they haven’t. So why would anyone expect them to act in ways that are only possible for people who are openly out? If our (Jikookers) speculations about them are correct, it’s likely they are still closeted and may even be hiding their relationship from close friends and family.
This opinion might be unpopular, especially among jikookers who believe that if Jimin and Jungkook are together, their families would undoubtedly know. But I don’t think it’s that simple. In my experience, coming out isn’t an easy or universal process. It’s deeply personal and often influenced by cultural, familial, and societal factors, particularly in environments where homophobia is pervasive. I’m not going to go into the nitty gritty of why I think their parents and families might not be looped in because for many, unless you’ve lived it, known someone who has, or experienced such societal pressures firsthand, it’s difficult to fully grasp the complexities involved……..So I truly don’t see them letting their parents and families in on things as easy as many people believe it would be.
I think Jimin and Jungkook present themselves to the world as they believe the world sees them: bandmates, friends, and “brothers” from the same town. This aligns with public expectations and offers them a layer of protection. So how else would people expect them to describe their relationship?
Some might argue that they could avoid using terms like “brother,” altogether but let’s be realistic here……it likely doesn’t bother them. They know they’re not actually brothers and probably don’t view each other in that way. What’s more, I doubt they have any desire to let the public into the deeply personal aspects of their lives. While there may be a part of them that wishes to be accepted and loved for who they truly are, they likely understand that this isn’t a viable option right now.
The fear of opening a Pandora’s box of judgment and backlash likely keeps them from revealing anything beyond the surface. If calling each other “brothers” or even something as absurd as “father and son” ensures the safety of their bond, they’ll do whatever it takes to protect themselves and their relationship. That, unfortunately is what closeting sometimes entails so before you rush into my inbox thinking you’ve got a gotcha moment, remember this.
I hope people come to realize that this situation is far more complex than it seems. It’s easy to oversimplify or underestimate the challenges Jimin and Jungkook and other closeted people in homophobic societies might face but it’s crucial to remember that not everyone shares the same privileges or cultural realities. Not every society or culture is as accepting as yours might be. Not everyone has the opportunity to live their truth openly and without fear. You may not understand their choices, and you might not even relate to their struggles, but that doesn’t give you the right to dismiss or minimize them simply because their experiences don’t mirror your own.
Empathy and understanding are essential. Respect the fact that their journey, whatever it may be, is shaped by circumstances most of us can’t begin to imagine.
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doomed2repeat · 1 month ago
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Luke Newton is being snubbed.
I don’t need to be a journalist from an industry publication to call it out. It goes beyond this one nomination, it’s how he’s been downplayed since the season dropped. So I’ll say it. He is being snubbed.
So let’s talk about Luke’s portrayal of Colin, and why it does him a disservice to not acknowledge his work.
Colin, as written for the show, shines in the hands of Luke Newton. A lesser actor would not be able to create the layered performance that Luke developed with both the brilliant authenticity of our Colin (Penelope’s Colin) and the cloying insincerity of Rake Colin back from his adventures and ready to flirt his insecurities away. He’s a deeply endearing performer, playing up Colin’s doubts, confusions and hurt in a way that makes you root for him, and cheer when he returns to himself fully in the carriage scene. That his character is so well defined over the seasons that the show was able to create a sense of longing for the “old” Colin right alongside Penelope’s longing for him, is a testament to Luke’s deep understanding of his character. He plays the discomfort Colin has with the persona he’s created, capped off by his frustrated monologue about the loneliness of playing the part.
His nuanced use of emotions stack together, turning moments that could be intimidating anger towards Penelope in the hands of a lesser actor into disbelief, pain, grief, and pleading all rolled into one. Colin was a character that is in his own head a lot, and STILL Luke managed to give us a window into what he was thinking every time.
He makes Colin Bridgerton seem like a real person, walking through life as it comes at him, in the most naturalistic acting performances in the entire series. He doesn’t chew scenery, he isn’t performative or flashy. He just IS Colin, which is such a difficult thing to achieve in Bridgerton’s heightened reality with its heightened stakes.
As a romantic lead, Luke delivers. His memetic “suicidal” jealousy and yearning, his comedic descent into awkwardness around Pen and his well earned praise for turning a controversial moment from the book into a perfectly delivered “Will you marry me or not?” that made people swoon with giddiness rather than roll their eyes at his presumption. He approached every intimate scene with a reckless disregard for his own ego, acting fully in the moment and allowing such vulnerability to come across on screens that people felt like they were intruding on a real encounter between two people going at it.
And Luke had an important role to play. The romance of each season of Bridgerton really hinges on these love declarations and he NAILS the carriage scene. The buildup of his desperate begging, his confession and then his brief despair and return to politeness when he’s told he’s just a friend was MASTERFUL. Luke goes through every emotion the heart and mind can create in the carriage scene, and he nails every single one of them, and the scene would fall apart if he didn’t, that scene was built around his emoting. And then he follows it up with the final love confession, where Luke pulls out the biggest puppy dog eyes, filled to the brim with love and pride and a quiet confidence that makes it stick the landing.
The season simply would not be the romantic season it is without Luke Newton’s Colin Bridgerton. Because Penelope was in love with Colin since episode 1 of season 1, Polin’s storyline for S3 is so dependent on Colin’s emotional development, and Luke’s ability to portray those changes and highly anticipated moments when his world flips upside down. We watch him fall in love in season 3, and we watch him pursue that love proactively. He is a major driving force of what makes Bridgerton S3 a romance rather than just a drama.
It’s beyond time to respect his contribution to such a popular season and such a popular couple.
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johnbrand · 5 months ago
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Screen Froze
Podcasting had become inescapable in recent years. Everyone seemed to have an opinion on...well everything. Politics, world sports, cooking, an obscure movie from 1978 only released in a now-extinct language. If it could be covered, it would be. And one could find this content anywhere across the internet. Youtube, social media, even streaming services promoted their podcasters. Everyone was watching everyone talking. 
Of course, with so many different podcasters flying about, it was difficult to actually spot out talent. And from a sociologically micro perspective, it was even harder for individuals to find podcasters discussing the content they actually wanted to hear about. The more unique the niche, the less people one could happen upon to be talking about it during their recorded stream of consciousness. It was a simple formula, but it forced individuals to browse for hours or even days to find what they were searching for.
Sometimes though, people could not hold such patience. They would not wait for their new hero, a disciple preaching their values and morals to audiences around the globe. They would skip past one livestream discussing the economics of green villages in Switzerland to the next debating the potential existence between a minor character in two separate fandom universes. They could even perhaps land into a podcast like Sean’s.
“Most people just don’t understand the Soviet Union’s impact on architecture,” the measly, pale nerd innocently commented. A little shy in front of the camera, he was only able to relax a bit when discussing his favorite topics. Sean dressed in theme too, wearing a brutalist-like business casual outfit, a trait his small but dedicated fanbase adored.
“There were a lot of architects that really shaped this movement from all around the world,” Sean continued. “But today, we are just going to focus on those from the USSR.”
So what happened when one’s patience dried up? Well, everything was brought to a halt.
DragonHeart49: anyone else’s screen freeze? superduperloverboy: mine too <3bitsandmore: sean, I think ur glitching out
With the screen frozen, our impatient soul could now get to work. If one could not find the podcast they were looking for, then why not just create their own? Obviously, this did not mean constructing a podcast themselves, but rather alter the fabric of reality and completely realign another’s being to their preferred state. That was much easier.
Physical modifications were made first. A much larger body was necessary, something that demanded confidence and respect from others. Juicy pecs, rippling abs, sturdy legs. There was always something unreasonably fun in bloating the podcaster’s feet up a few sizes. An imposing frame to be craved by others, even when hidden underneath clothes, was priority. And speaking of clothes, those were quickly stripped down to less formal articles. Expensive branded tee, athletic shorts so small that boxer-briefs were visible, classic white Nike socks, all of it much more respectable than a button-up and tie.
This was not the impatient soul’s first time altering a podcaster to their liking, nor would it be their last. Physically at least, each of the end products were a little different. All alpha males, but just enough variation to not warrant any unnecessary rumors. This particular podcaster had his pre-American heritage redirected from France to India, the features in the screenshot tanning accordingly as a dark stubble acquainted itself along the sharper jawline. Of course, the bulge was accurately enlarged for geographical standards too.
Mentally however, all the podcasters could be considered copies. They each spoke of the same rhetoric, theories, and ideologies that our impatient soul wanted to hear. No matter how “backwards” or “hateful” their discussions were deemed as, nearly anything could be said by hulking bodies with undeniable charisma.
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“These homos have no idea what they’re talking about!” Sanjay raged as the podcast restarted, his deep voice cocky and assertive. "Sure bro, I was just thinkin’ about a girl’s rack I saw earlier today but there's more to a girl than big tits. There's a tight pussy too!”
The chat section lit off with encouragement, their fates too having been altered.
MassiveFART69: you tell them fags bro! LOL XD crassmassschlongnator: we want to BREED THEM TOO!!!! <3TITSGALORE: JUST TALKIN ABOUT IT ALREADY GOT SANJAY GRABBIN HIMSELF AGAIN
Sanjay vacantly looked down, finding himself already subconsciously scratching at the thick bush within his shorts. He let out a hot protein fart followed by a laugh, his scratching slowly extending into groping his fat 8 inch babymaker.
“God, that was WET bros!” Sanjay applauded himself, his free massive hand swallowing the mic. “Anyway, I’ll catch you on the flip side dudes, gotta go hit the gym. Bros for life!”
There was a reason the traditional masculine movement was becoming stronger. Maybe it was because men were slowly aspiring to become the alphas’ equals, or because fags were beginning to submit to their nature. Or possibly, it could have been because each time a screen froze, reality was altered one click closer to traditional, normal masculinity.
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bambimanifests · 3 months ago
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𝕸𝖆𝖓𝖎𝖋𝖊𝖘𝖙 𝖆𝖓 𝖘𝖕, 𝖓𝖔𝖜ᵕ̈
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Manifesting an SP is fun and it is the reason why a lot of people find LOA or start to practice it. The thing with SPs is that many people claim they can’t manifest them, there is a lot of stigma and misinformation around the topic and as someone who has made many mistakes when manifesting her old SP and is currently manifesting an SP, I thought I’d share my tips and create this post — kind of Manifesting an SP 101. If you don’t believe in loa, please leave, this post is not for you, unless you are here to learn more and not be hateful. Keep in mind all those tips are given from my experience! If your opinion is different or another coach told you something else then you are free to follow whichever advice you wish to follow!
ᡣ𐭩 THE BASICS.
It is crucial that when manifesting anything we understand the law (of assumption). The law states that our mind (4d) creates the reality around us (3d). Whatever you persist on in your mind, as thoughts, as visuals, will become true and will reflect in the 3d. We manifest anything by acting as if / living in the end, basically we think as if, as if we were rich, as if we were confident, as if our sp asked us out. It is recommended to think as if 24/7, but to people who are new to the law it can be difficult, so I would try to think favourably as much as you can, work your way up from thinking favourably 50% of the time to 100% of the time. It is important to persist in our desire, whatever we put our attention on will show up in our reality.
ᡣ𐭩 EIYPO
EIYPO stand for Everyone Is You Pushed Out. It all comes back to the concept that the 4d creates the 3d. Whatever you assume to be true is true. If you think all the time that you’re annoying and ugly and everyone hates you, that’s your reality. If you think that xyz is a bitch, then they’re a bitch. Whatever assumptions you have about yourself will be reflected in the 3d by others and their view of you, whatever assumptions you have of others also will be reflected in the 3d by them.
ᡣ𐭩 CIRCUMSTANCES
Circumstances are different for everyone, the most important thing in this small section is that they do not matter. Loa is limitless, you are the creator and only you can limit yourself. Circumstances can vary from being in no contact with your SP to your SP telling you they hate you or them being in a relationship. It’s all the same, it all doesn’t matter. Your current 3d is the reflection of your current or past assumptions.
ᡣ𐭩 THIRD PARTIES
When it comes to SPs we can deal and often do with 3rd parties, that can be their partner, their ex, someone they are into or someone they aren’t dating yet, but are talking/going out with — again, it’s all the same. Our reality is the reflection of us, of our inner world, the third party is no different, they’re often a reflection of our insecurities, fears or doubts. The best way to get rid of them is to simply ignore them. That is how I manifested a third party away, by not acknowledging it, not dwelling on it, not spiralling about it. What you focus on you persist on, whether you want it or not, if you persist it will show up more in your reality.
ᡣ𐭩 SELF CONCEPT
Let’s start with what is self concept, it’s you basically, assumptions you have about yourself, who you are, how others see you, how fast you manifest and if you can. Self concept is basically a set of beliefs and assumptions you have surrounding yourself. Do you think you deserve your manifestation? Many will tell you self concept is a must to manifest an SP, I will tell you it depends. If you have a low self concept when it comes to love or yourself, then yes you need to work on it, if you have a low self concept when it comes to manifestation, then it’s optional, it depends if you want it to come in fast or not.
ᡣ𐭩 VERSIONS OF PEOPLE
Important thing that I missed on my first SP journey was what version of them am I manifesting? I was manifesting a fuckboy, a cheater. Basically all the bad stuff I heard about him, I took as facts. Before I assumed that he was that way I didn’t really see that side of him, because I haven’t manifested that version of him yet. So whatever your SP has shown you, whatever assumptions you have about them now, you can change them. Think about it really, how do you see them, do you think they’re above you? Do you think they could never like you? Do you think they’re an asshole? Change the bad assumptions you have about them. You get to select the version of them, you select the version you experience, so manifest them to be your ideal person. (i usually just affirm “they’re my ideal person”, your mind knows what it wants and if you’re not sure create a list in your notes app or on paper!)
Honestly nothing else comes to my mind atm about SPs, except for the basics: don’t check the 3d, persist and ignore the 3d (continue to think as if) even if it’s showing you the old story, your movement should show up in 2/3 weeks, if there isn’t any and you have been manifesting an SP for years you’re probably doing something wrong, I cannot tell you what, you need to look inward and be honest with yourself. Remember you are human, you will feel all sorts of ways when manifesting, don’t let your feelings cloud your judgement and discourage you — feelings do not manifest only dominant thoughts. Also I do not condone manifesting abusers etc. Fuck abusers, please seek help if you’re in a relationship with a person who may hurt you or has physically or emotionally. You are not responsible for your abuse or trauma. I love yall, have an amazing day!
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kittyscupcakeandbunny · 2 years ago
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CRAZY OVER YOU x MIN YOONGI
[HYBRID AU]
PART ONE
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Love at first bite
Side Characters: Namjoon/doctor, Seokjin/doctor, Taehyung/Hybrid Tiger.
Warnings: Smut, mentions of blood, sharp objects, rut, beast behavior, medical experiments, meds.
Genre: Fantasy, hybrids au, smut.
SUMMARY》 Yoongi is a black mamba hybrid one of rarest species of hybrids, who’s about to be put down due to his lack of interest in living. But everything changes after the new medical assistance (y/n) takes a liking to him. Meeting after meeting he realise his feelings for her are not the only thing growing.
<< Previous Chapter. Next Chapter >>
… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …
My feet hurt. I’ve been running back and forth around the clinic way past my working hours already.
To be honest I think the assistants work more than the doctors, I should have gone home by now. My shift ended four hours ago. Yet i couldn’t go home.
Lately the clinic has been very busy, hybrids were coming in and out of the clinic to get treatment and the fact that so many rescued hybrids from the outside were coming, made the ones we had already been taking care of at the clinic agitated. With their higher level of hearing and smelling it was impossible to completely hide the different cents.
The world we live in is not the same anymore, we exists between hybrids. And I work in a clinic that takes care of them.
The biggest hybrid clinic in our city, is was more then just a clinic for hybrid species. It was a hospital, lab where scientific studies and research took place, and a clinic for treatments.
It was late at night when things seemed to have cooled down. I decided to drink some coffee at the cafeteria on the first floor.
Sitting down in one of the tables I put my hot coffee over it, taking the files of my patients for tomorrow morning in hand reading their appointments and preparing for it.
- yn! - I look up to see Hoseok, one of the assistants that worked on the especial cases.
- hey hobi - i greet him, he sits down in front of me looking more exausted than ever. - oh you look awful…
- don’t even tell me about it - he said - guess who was my patient today?
- no idea… - I tell him, taking a sip from my coffee.
- the snake hybrid - he said, I almost gagged in my coffee.
- no way! What is like? - i asked, the most special hybrid in our clinic was the rarest one. The black mamba hybrid.
- an asshole? - he said, I chuckled at him - no seriously, he’s so difficult to treat like he doesn’t eat because he doesn’t like the food, always complain about the people around him… and today, he bit my colleague be cause he didn’t like that way he smelled.
- he bit him? - i asked, completely amused.
- yes, he’s in the hospital by now - at his words I looked up at him worried.
- so… - before I said anything my phone start to ring. I sight tiredly - gotta go.
He only nodded understanding as I got up from my seat to leave.
- hey… - I say as I take the call. I threw the plastic cup of coffee in the trash can as I leave the cafeteria.
- boss is looking for you - he tells me. It was one of my coworkers.
- I’ll go then, thanks.
I turned off the call making my way to the elevators in the hallway. By boss he meant Seokjin, it was a nickname we all agreed on since he’s the director of the clinic. As I walked towards the elevators i kept wondering why he asked for me at this hour, Jin was usually so busy I could bearly talk to him not did I ever seen him having lunch break or any break at all. He always made sure the hybrids were well treated at the clinic and worked really hard for it.
From afar i notice Namjoon standing there in front of the elevator doors waiting for it, he was looking through some papers on his hand too focused to even notice my presence beside him.
- hey - i greet him.
- hey… - he reply, not looking my way. He had a hard expression on his features.
Once the door opened in front of us we both get in the elevator, me fallowing right after him. I press the bottom to the third floor.
- what is this? - I ask him intrigued, as he seemed completely focused on the paper to notice his surroundings.
- my new patient - he sighed now looking at me - he’s one of the rare hybrids we have and it looks like he’s going to get put down.
- what? Why? - I was genuinely surprised, rare hybrids were so special in the clinic one of them being put down could only meant one thing - is he sick?
- no - he said getting out of the elevator once the door opened at our desire floor, i fallow him - just an asshole.
- oh? - i was genuinely confused, but didn’t push him to tell me - You going to Jin’s office?
- yes - he said, lookin stressed - he called me to discuss this patient, what about you?
- He called for me but, I don’t know yet - i reply, we walked the long corridor till were finally standing in front of Seokjins office.
After nocking on the door and receiving a low “come in” from Seokjin we both made our way inside his office. Namjoon opened the door for me to get in first then he fallowed me behind, shutting the door. Jin sat on his desk, hands on his face as he covered his eyes in despair looking more tired than ever, a look i never thought I would see on his face.
- Jin you look… - he didn’t let me finish.
- I know - he sighted, now looking at us both in front of him.
- why did you called us? - Namjoon asked.
- I need your help with this rare hybrid case - He said.
Jin started walking around his desk to sit down.
- my father passed to me the responsibility of taking care of the… euthanasia of him.
- but why? - i asked.
- well… it’s been years and he never once put it in the effort to live - he said taking a few papers and giving it to me and Namjoon, the hybrid records - he’s not eating anymore, doesn’t get any heats, makes no effort on mating and doesn’t let anyone help with his shedding .
- Shedding? - i asked, so he means… the rare snake hybrid.
- yes. He’s now in your hands - Jin said, looking at me and Namjoon.
- you want us to do exactly what? - Namjoon asked - from the looks of it, doesn’t seem like we can do anything about it.
- you both will be working on this case with me, the big boss - he made a sing pointing up, signaling the higher ups, his father - found a female rare snake hybrid and he wants them to reproduce before euthanizing him.
I felt sick.
- are you kidding me?! - i said, stunted - you’re just going to… - I couldn’t even say it - after all theses years?
- I know that’s why i want you guys to work on it, - a long sigh left his lips - i only trust you both with this.
- maybe we can help him out and not put him down? - I tell him.
- believe me y/n - Jin looked at me deep in the eyes - we tried but��. Sometimes is better this way, is hard on him too.
I looked down at the papers in my hands.
Min Yoongi - snake hybrid.
Code: RED. Dangerous species. Specie: Black mamba.
Date of birth: Unknown. Male.
Current status: to be put down. Date: three months from now.
Resume: This patient needs to be prepared for a mating season as he had never had one, to ensure the precision and higher chances of reproduction of the rare hybrid species. The black mamba hybrid is to be taken care of from now to the time of mating, every side effect must be related to the one in charge of the case. To ensure assurance that this case will be dealt with assertiveness.
I felt sick.
….
I couldn’t help but think about it for the rest of the day. The fact that they would just give up on him after all these years of testing and keeping him lock up in here that he simply didn’t want to make any effort to live anymore, and how the clinic was just going to put him down not giving a single care about him for real.
They are going to end him right after they get him to reproduce, just to ensure they still have a rare hybrid of his specie. Another one to end just like him.
Looking down at the food in front of me I felt sick in my stomach at that. How could they?
- you look deep in thought - Namjoon said over me, he sat down in front of me after putting his tray of food on the table.
- sorry i just can’t stop thinking…
- about the hybrid? - he said - look I know you and I’m sure that’s why Jin chose you to assist me with this case but, let’s just make sure he at least leave in peace okay?
- okay..
No.
I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I did. You don’t know me Namjoon, I’ll make sure that hybrid lives.
No matter what it takes.
- we’ll meet him later right? - i ask him, he looks at me over his lashes as he holds his phone looking at it.
- yeah, after lunch - he takes off his glasses - are you ready to see the snake hybrid for the first time?
- yeah - I wonder what he looks like, most hybrids have some feature that help identifying what kind of hybrid they are. Does the snake hybrid has scales all over him? - he shouldn’t look too scary right?
Namjoon only giggle at my question, a knowing smile growing on his lips and my mind quickly realizing it.
- Kim Namjoon! You’ve meet him already! - i stated.
- of course I did, he had an appointment at six in the morning. - he said, a sight leaving his lips - What an ass.
- why so early? - knowing Namjoon hates waking up too early, he must felt stressed. Especially having to take care of a hybrid that demands so much more care.
- His sleep circle is different… - he started - and since we are trying to get him to feel the beginning of a heat so he can mate, his room was changed to acommodate him.
- oh… - realization hits me - so it will give the illusion of his heat beginning?
- yes, we also changing the room temperature to make it happen as naturally as possible - he said - the hotter the better.
- no way… - i said - I’ll have to work in hell too?
- trust me.. it doesn’t need hot temperatures to make it hell. - Namjoon looked at me - he’s good at that on his own.
- is he that bad? - he couldn’t be… right?
- I’ll let you see it for yourself - was all Namjoon said.
After lunch Namjoon passed me the instructions of our appointment with the snake hybrid, since he wasn’t eating he had to take vitamins straight into the blood.
To be honest i felt sad at that. You don’t eat when you don’t have an appetite, is he that bad in condition to not even eat? They’ve been neglecting him for so long and now are trying to force him to mate.
More and more i questioned if what i was doing was right.
I walk beside Namjoon towards the elevators, special hybrids stay on the sixth floor so that’s where we’re headed. They need to be separated from the other hybrids as their instincts are a lot more higher and demand more care, you can’t put cat hybrid in the same place you have a wolf hybrid. So we divided the floor for special species, wild hybrids in a floor and domestic hybrids in one. Of course there’s the special cases divided by codes, the snake hybrid was a code red which meant he was dangerous. Code reds are usually the hardest one to work with because they can and will hurt their doctors and especially other hybrids. Some don’t really mind the doctor but, other hybrids. Like a lion who sees a deer. They will always see them as a pray. So we have to keep them separate.
I look in front of me over the silver tray with the meds and vitamins he must take everyday, today Jin won’t be joining us he only will when much more serious procedures are to be taking action.
Namjoon is the one with the code to the hybrid door, each hybrid had their own room to accommodate all their individual needs. The snake room wasn’t different.
As soon as the door is open a heat of hot air hits me, the room is a bit dark but the lights get brighter as we enter, Namjoon walks towards the hybrid who lays on a big bed in the center of the room. Almost looking like a nest with all the covers and pillows around it.
I make my way to the table beside the door to prepare the meds and vitamins.
- good afternoon Yoongi - Namjoon says to the hybrid - time for your meds and vitamins.
- i don’t need it…. - a deep male voice says, the hairs in the back of my neck shivering at the sound of him - who’s is that?
He meant me. My heart skipped a beat at getting his attention. He is the first special hybrid I’ve ever meet. One of the most dangerous one too.
- that’s my assistant - Namjoon tells him, he’s talking about me - everything ready y/n?
- yes Joon… - i turn to him taking the silver tray with me.
Stopping in my tracks as I take in the figure of the hybrid. He didn’t look like anything i imagined, he didn’t have weird snake eyes and not was his skin full of scales like the reptile. He looked almost human… if it wasn’t for the almost unnoticeable scales on his neck that fallowed up to his ears so delicately, as he moved his head to the side eyes locked over my figure the scales shined a bit. A color of white pearl and soft grey.
He wore something different from what I was used to see on the other hybrids, while the others wore a type of pijama white clothing he whore silk shining bottom up shirt and pants.
Realizing i wasn’t moving and just staring rudely at the hybrid I quickly made my way to Namjoon to give him the meds. My checks burning.
- no - the hybrid said looking at Namjoon with a bored expression - i don’t like the way you smell… i won’t take anything from you.
- you still need to take your vitamins - Namjoon insisted taking one of the syringe from the tray.
- i said I don’t need it - the hybrid growls, coming closer.
- your condition tells me otherwise - Namjoon said to him, both looking at each other. The temperature seemed to rise even more as they looked almost like provoking each other. A silent fight.
The hyrbrid eyes found mine staring at his, he looked at me up and down no expression on his face. Than turned to Namjoon.
- she can do it - he said, a bored expression coming back to his features.
- she’s not in charge of that - Namjoon said, a stern lock on face - I’m the one who is, so get over it.
I looked at him chocked. He seemed angry. Namjoon who usually is calm and careful with his patients was now the complete opposite, he stood his ground and faced the hybrid as if trying to prove he was the Alfa.
And for the first time I was angry at him, not only this was a delicate case. The hybrid could attack if he felt threatened. That could only worsen the situation for the hybrid.
- I can do it Joon - i tell him quietly turning to him lifting the silver tray for him to take it. I gave him a nod of assurance. He looked at me than the hybrid.
- are you sure about it y/n? - he asked me, worry over his face now.
- of course i can - i assure him - I do it all the time.
His eyes locked with mine as he talked. I heard Namjoon sighed as he turned to me taking the silver tray from my hands.
Giving him a small smile I took the vitamins syringe, the hybrid stood in front of me opening his white shirt one bottom after the other eyes locked with mine to catch my reaction, I tried not give any reactions and keep my gaze eye level but it was impossible when he stood right there exposing his beautiful skin for me.
He wasn’t covered in scales as many would’ve imagine but definitely had a few on his ribs that fallowed down to his v line, just like before they shined a bit over the light a white pearl with silver. I gulped down eyes looking back into his as he stood in front of me reveling his left arm for me to aply the syringe. His eyes never once left mine, he had eyes so dark I couldn’t tell if there was any color in them black light the night sky.
I held his arm to insert the syringe into his skin, he didn’t move at all. During the whole processe he didn’t broke the eye contact. Cleaning the small bit of blood that came after taking the syringe off his skin. Namjoon gave me the next one, i apply it into his skin once again. After the last one, I cleaned and put a small piece of medical tape over it so it doesn’t bleed.
- I’m done… - i say, standing next to Namjoon. He gave me the tray and I took it to the table beside the door.
The hybrid began to bottom up his shirt. Namjoon look it up the papers for the hybrid next appointment as I took the small white cup with he’s meds walking back to the hybrid I held the cup up for him to take. He took the cup from my hand brushing his fingers over mine, his hand looking much bigger than mine, I kept my focus on that too nervous to look up into his dark eyes again. I held the water up for him, which he took it again brushing his fingers over mine. He drank it my eyes fallowing up at his neck starring at the scales over his skin. They looked so delicate almost like a painting over his skin, closer you could see that little silver that shined over the light. Not realizing he came closer until I felt his breath hitting over my face, making me look at him immediately. Dark eyes staring into mine with boredom, he tilted his head to the side coming closer inspecting my face.
- you’re not afraid? - he whispered, only for me to hear. My breath got stuck on my throat.
- should I be?… - I whispered back, swallowing hard. He looked down at me than back into my eyes, tilting his head to the other side black orbs staring deep into mine i fallow his move tilting my head to the same side. Complete hypnotized by him.
- any changes in your shedding? - Namjoon asked the hybrid, while writing something down on the paper. - it should have started already.
At hi voice I came back to reality, turning quickly with the two cups. Taking them to the table beside the door to despose of them int he trash can.
Making my way back to stand beside Namjoon once I was done, my eyes going back to the hybrid standing in front of us.
He had the same expression as before, unbothered.
- same as always - he answered tiredly, going back to his bed.
I saw the way his plain answer made Namjoon clench his jaw. He wasn’t making any effort to cooperate with Namjoon, I notice he was difficult but not an asshole. It was painful to watch them interact, Namjoon clearly didn’t like the way the hybrid acted but, I have dealt with a few difficult hybrids before this was only a way to protect themselves after going through so much.
This behavior seemed to be common with Wild species, I’ve seen it before with a lion hybrid I took care of before.
Sometimes you just have to be persistent, and careful.
- I heard it could be painful if not taken care of, is everything alright with it? - i asked this time, which made both males look at me.
The hybrid looked at me not saying anything for a while. Than he smirked and walked towards me making Namjoon stand closer to me protectively. He looked at Namjoon smile slowly falling forming into a bored expression again, showing how the presence of the other male affected him.
- I don’t want any of your help with it - he said, eyes locked into mine - last time…
- you almost killed one of our doctors - Namjoon interrupted the hybrid, one arm closing around me to put me back.
Almost…
- he shouldn’t have touched me - the hybrid said eyes burning over Namjoon, anger on his face.
Hands closing into fists, he walked closer to us standing in front of Namjoon. He was ready to attack if needed, if something is not done it could end very badly Namjoon doesn’t notice but with this behavior he is provoking the hybrid to act instinctively.
It is clear that the heat season has started for him and in mating season hybrids tend to get more competitive and sensitive, a male showing up to his space staring dominance wouldn’t do any good.
- you both stop - i said releasing myself from Namjoon standing between them both, turning to the hybrid I said - please, Yoongi let me treat you okay?
He didn’t like when people crossed his boundaries i get that, sometimes it could be very overwhelming. But knowing what they are going to do to him because of that behavior, i just couldn’t help but get in between them. It was something we could work out and maybe if i succeed they won’t put him down anymore.
- it is important that you go through your shedding the easiest way possible - i tell him - so I’ll be in charge of it okay? How is that?
He looked at me for a while, slightly turning his head to the side. Pundering the idea in his head. For some reason he looked me up and down before looking at Namjoon behind me, a small smile making its way to his lips.
- only if is you - was all he said before going back to his bed.
A sight of relief leaving my lips, even though I cloud feel the stare of Namjoon a glare over my back.
To say Namjoon didn’t like that idea was an understatement. He hate it.
Insisting it was a bad idea to proceed with hybrid treatment by myself, that could be dangerous not only that but the fact that the hybrid had poison on his teeth just like a snake would. It wasn’t lethal but enough to cause discomfort, and it was what had happened the last time they tried to help with his shedding.
But that didn’t changed my mind. Not after I actually meet him, it seemed to me he didn’t want any one close that felt threatening to him. He wasn’t just any kind of hybrid, not a dog that loves attention and touch but a snake one. Snakes always acted out when feeling threatened. Attacking was their only defense.
So it made sense to me that he would be reluctant to let anyone get too close, especially after heaving so many tests on him without his consent. He’s been so mistreated and now they want to put him down.
It angers me.
I decided to chose an hour where i knew Namjoon would be busy in a meeting to do that. No long after we had left the hybrid room he began to lecture me on how dangerous Yoongi could be, that i shouldn’t act like that when he was the one in charge of this case. It slipped his mouth that the clinic simply started to give him vitamins when he stopped eating so he wouldn’t die.
It came to me how neglected he’s been this whole time. After that i decided to secretly go to the hybrid and feed him, which was where i was headed now.
I made sure no one was around once i stopped in front of the hybrid door. Using the number code I saw Namjoon used before to open the lock on it. It made a sound before opening.
The hot air hitting my face as I entered, they had turned higher this time it was hotter than before. The lights slowly began to light up as I walked in, the door closing behind me automatically.
At that the hybrid came up from his bed looking confused at me. Of course. I shouldn’t be there.
- hey - i greet him. He doesn’t say anything.
I walk up to him, stoping in front of the nest looking bed. A sing of his heat starting. That was a good sign. He held himself up with his arms looking my up from the bed.
- why are you here? - his voice was low and heavy.
- I just… - I trailed off as he fully lifted his body form his laying position, now sitting on his bed. Shirt open and sliding off his shoulders, not showing much but enough to see his scales.
He looked me over his lashes checks a bit red and sweat falling over the side of his face.
- i brought you something… - a sight left his lips - are you okay?
- yeah… what did you brought me? - his curious dark eyes following my body as I came closer.
- it���s tangerines - i say, showing him the two fruits i held in my hands.
- what’s a tangerine? - he asked eyeing them closer.
- you don’t know? - i gasped. Sitting beside him i slowly began to open one in a half giving it to him, he smelled before looking at me not knowing what to do.
- I never seen one… smells nice - he said.
- you eat it - i tell him, taking one and holding in front of his lips. He didn’t move at all, only looked at me.
For a moment I thought I had crossed his bounderies, for a moment I thought I was just being stupid. But then it came to me, he hasn’t eaten in years. He don’t even know what a tangerine is.
Maybe he didn’t even felt hunger anymore. Maybe he’ll throw the stupid fruit at me.
My checks were getting warmer as I felt nervous but, slowly he smelled the fruit in my hand taking a careful bite of it. Still looking at me, the juicy fruit spilling a bit in my fingers.
I watched him expectedly, wondering if he will like it or hated. He swallowed and looked at the fruit in my hand.
- that’s good… - he said. I sight of relief left my lips.
- you want more? - i asked him, he nodded slowly making me smile.
He didn’t move a single finger to eat though, I had to feed him the two tangerines the whole time. It didn’t bother me though, I felt so happy seeing him eat something other then taking those vitamins.
It means so much in the process of a hybrids treatment that they are feeding themselves, i couldn’t hold my happiness as I watched him.
Once he eat all of them he looked at me then at my hands, dark eyes shining under the light.
- sorry it was all I got - I tell him. - I’ll bring you more if you want.
- you will? - his eyes shining bright as he looked at me. I nodded at him.
- can i ask you… why you don’t eat? - i said, he doesn’t look at me turning to look at the floor.
- I don’t… feel like it… - he simply said.
He looked so sad now. No appetite wasn’t good. When in the absence of sickness it could only mean he was very depressed. They wanted to put him down because he was depressed.
I wouldn’t let them.
- You don’t seem to mind me around you… - I comment.
- you smell good. - he said, turning to look at me - and delicious, like tangerines.
I chuckled at his comparison. He watched me attentively, a different light on his dark eyes now.
- okay… I try my best to take care of you - i tell him. For a moment he only stares at me.
Red checks and bit of sweat on his chest, he turned his head to the side still raring at me. I fixed my glasses feeling a bit intimidated by his deep stare.
- You… - before he could end his sentence the door opened.
Namjoon entered the room looking at us confused, his eyes falling over my presence there. I shouldn’t be here. It’s what I read in his eyes.
- yn? - he asked, confusion clearly on his voice as he walked closer to where I was with the hybrid.
- Oh hey I was just… - i tried to make up an excuse but he cut me mid sentence.
- Leaving, right? - he interrupted. I swallowed nervous. He was never hard on me, hearing him be like that wasn’t nice.
- Yeah… - i murmured, taking the fruit peels with me as I got up from the hybrids bed.
- No… - Yoongi held my wrist stopping me, turned to look at him but he stared at Namjoon.
- You have an appointment with me now, it doesn’t include y/n so let her go… - for some reason Namjoons way of putting what he was doing there made me nervous.
I know he would never hurt a hybrid, but yoongi was very reluctant to any one else being too close to him. Namjoons display of dominance could make him defensive and things might not go well.
- maybe I could help - i tried to sound calm.
- y/n, your here to assist me not take over the procedures - Namjoon tells me, his words sending a sharp sting in my heart.
I couldn’t find words to reply his. Too embarrassed by his words to me in front of the hybrid, i bit into my lower lip. Not looking at them.
- Let her go yoongi - Namjoon said walking towards us.
At his words I realized Yoongi was now standing behind me, hand still around my wrist. His slow breathing hitting my shoulder. I lifted my gaze to Namjoon who now seemed a bit worried. But the hybrids closeness to me wants what made me uncomfortable.
- Yoongi… - Namjoon warned.
- Joon don’t - I tell him holding my hand up for him not to get closer - can you wait a bit?
He looked at me reluctant before nodding, still not taking his eyes off the hybrid. I turned to Yoongi slowly, a small smile on my lips as I stared into his deep dark orbs, to make sure he knew I was fine.
- Are you okay? - he asked me, I looked at him surprised. - he hurt you with his words.
I couldn’t hide my surprise at his words, he could tell from just that?
- It’s okay… I don’t care about his words - I whispered o him, giving him a small smile.
I tried to take my wrist from his hold but he didn’t let go, not to hard to hurt me. I could tell he was being careful not to use his full strength on me.
- Will you came back? - he asked, eyes looked into mine.
- Of course. - i tell him.
With that he let go of my wrist.
I turned to Namjoon taking his arm to leave the hybrid room. He reluctantly fallowed me towards the door of the room. Once we were both outside I kept my hold on his arm taking him with me around the corridor towards the elevators.
- where you taking me? - he asked, as if nothing had happened earlier.
- To Seokjin, we need to have a talk - i tell him, anger boiled over me.
- We? - he pushed his arm out of my grip - You’re being the irresponsible one not me!
- I’m!? - I stopped in the middle of the corridor, turning to him anger building up through my body.
- Yes! - he stated, closer to me - Do I need to remind you of your position here?
- Do I need to remind you of your stupid ego standing between the safety of a hybrid and your pride?! - i yell at him.
At that he went quiet.
- were talking with Seokjin now. - i state - I won’t let you make this whole processe more difficult than it has to be just because of your pride.
I held his arm again, taking him with me to the elevators. He didn’t say anything else anymore, I could tell he was angry but so was I.
The whole time he was only stating dominance over Yoongi, I was tired of them all thinking that could just hurt the hybrid even more now just because she was going to be put down.
I wouldn’t let them.
The walk to Seokjins office was quiet except for the tense energy around us, once I stood in front of his door I don’t bother to nock. Entering with anger burning under my skin.
Seokjin gave me a curious look, as he was folding some paper on his desk.
- sorry Jin - i say. He looked at me and Namjoon a questioned look on his face. - we need to talk about Yoongi.
- oh, right - he says - what is it?
- She’s being… - Namjoon started, but I interrupted him.
- Yoongi has been showing clear signs of discomfort with male doctors - at that Namjoon scoffed, I looked at him angry turning my gaze to Jin as I continued - he say he will do the appointments as long as I’m the one closer to him.
- I see.. - Jin thinks for a moment before continuing - what’s the problem?
- Namjoon is not letting me - i tell him, arms crossed over my chest.
-She just went into his room without any one knowing and… - Namjoon began.
- And gave him food - i say, looking at him. We both shared a look of hatred before Jin interrupted.
- What? - Jin asked.
- He eat… - I tell him.
- He… he eat food? - they both looked at me surprise.
- Yes, I’m sure I can help a lot more with this case if you let me take charge of the procedures that involves more… closeness to him, he’s been through a lot and seemed more calm around me.
- I see… - Jin pondered the idea first - then as long as you’re not alone for safety reasons, I don’t see a problem with you taking charge of his appointments.
- But she’s.. - Namjoon says, but is cut by Jin.
- Namjoon, y/n has been taking care of hybrids for years she knows what she’s doing, please I need you both working on this together - Jin says, sounding tired.
Namjoon only nods.
- any updates about him? - jin asked.
- i can tell that his heat i starting - I say - his behavior at least shows me that.
- okay… we’ll than we are almost there - Jin says - keep that good work and please, do this together.
- thanks jin - i tell him, he gives me a nod and i make my way to leave the office.
Namjoon stayed behind. I didn’t payed much mind to it. Quickly making my way out of there walking to the elevators, I had a lot of work to do other than Yoongi case.
More patients that needed treatment just as badly, not the he wasn’t just as special to me.
…..
It was late at night again.
I wasn’t planning to staying late again but, a hybrid was just checked in after being attacked by a another wild hybrid. The same case has happened before, that is way wild hybrids where never up for adoption. Yet some people always manage to get them, usually never for good reasons.
The poor hybrid this time was a bunny one, I was surprised when I first saw him. Usually bunny hybrids where the smallest species to exist but, this one was big. Not too tall but very muscular and strong.
When he was checked in he was still in defense mode, attacking every one and very scared. They had to apply a sedative on him to finally be able to put him on his room.
You could guess my reaction after I was told the story and short after that, Hoseok told me I was the one in charge of his case.
My shift ended hours ago and yet here I was cleaning cuts on the face of a bunny hybrid who seemed to know nothing about shutting up.
- such a pretty doctor I have.. - he said, a smile on his lips as he looked at me.
- Jungkook stop talking I’m trying to apply the med on your lip… - i tell him for the fifth time already, he only chuckled.
I sight taking a clean cotton with med to clean the cut over his eyebrow, he was sitting over his bed as I stood between his legs to clean his bruises.
He shouldn’t be awake. He was sedated before but, no long after he was wide awake and talking none stop, he commented on my but and how lucky he was to be treated by me.
I only sighted. That was knew. Usually my patients where too scared to be treated at first. So I just brushed off his comments.
Jungkook was abandoned when younger by his last owner, he then grow up in an underground fighting club where clandestine fights were held. He told me he was the best one there, a lot of people bet on him at the fights until he got in trouble with this one wolf hybrid.
- how did you end up here again? - I asked him.
- I was… - his checks went red and he looked down - to be honest I’m still.. ah, I was in heat…
- oh.. - I looked at him, still no understanding. He was shy, ears dropping beside his head.
- I was trading to mate but… so was the wolf… - he said.
- but you’re…
- she wasn’t like me… - he tells me, realizing what he meant I felt a warm wave up my checks.
Different species trying to mate, that was the first time I heard that, the underground has a lot going on than.
- well… it could happen - I say, making sure I cleaned every bruise on his face - here in the clinic we help our hybrids with all their needs, so don’t worry.
- oh.. will you treat me than doctor? - he asked, amused.
- yes, you’re my patient - i tell him, taking his file to prescribe him his medication and future exams.
- humm… - he only murmured - doctor are you in heat?
His question gets me by surprise and I look at him, mouth opening and closing. Just what was going on now? Did he perhaps hit his head too?
At my expression he chuckled one arm closing around my waist as he pulled me closer to him, I gasped feeling his nose against my neck. Not knowing what to do I held my hand up in the air, too afraid to even touch him. The smallest reaction could start something I wasn’t intending to.
- I can smell in you… - he says over my ear, my checks burning hot - hum, ready to be filled…
At his words i tried to push him, hands over his chest only to find his eyes staring deep into mine his checks where red and pupils full. It hit me. He was still on his heat.
That explains his behavior the whole time. How could I not notice earlier?
- you’re still in heat - i state. He only chuckled.
- am i? - he came closer to kiss me but i immediately pushed him down the bed - oh, I like that… doctor you’re making me fall for you…
I ignore his nonsense as I made my way to grab a sedative, bunnies were the hardest ones to deal with when on their heat, first I would have to put him to sleep before giving him the medicine to lessen his heat. At least till we are done with his treatment. Then we would put him to mate the right way.
Coming back to him I stared at him think where I would apply it, he didn’t stop moving. I stood between his legs holding the sedative behind my back.
- Jungkook… - i tried to get his attention, he looked at me immediately- I need to do something for me okay?
- yes pretty doctor- he tried to get up but I quickly held his chest down, he smiled at me. He looked as if he were on drugs, high on his heat.
It could only mean things were getting worse, he wasn’t on full rut but was getting there. It would be impossible to treat him if he’s on rut.
- don’t move okay? - i tell him, his hand held mine over his chest as he nodded.
Without him noticing i insert the syringe into his thigh, he’s so into his heat to even notice the pain.
I count ten seconds in my head before releasing my hold over his chest, he doesn’t try to get up.
- oh I’m sleepy… - he says, hand falling from mine as he closes his eyes slowly going into deep sleep.
A sight of relief leaves my lips once he falls asleep. I prepare some medicine to calm his heat, I wasn’t a fan of suppressants but in this case is needed. Just until we are done treating him. Than I’m sure he will be put into mating process so he can have a safe and healthy heat.
After I’m done giving him his medicine, I write it down his next appointment and a new prescription.
Leaving the room I sight, my right hand massaging my neck. I look over my phone to see the time realizing it was way past eleven. Walking down the corridor to the elevators, my ringtone woke me up from daydreaming about my comfort bed.
- yes - o took the call.
- hey y/n - it was Jin - did you check on the special hybrid?
- wasn’t Joon going? - I said, confused at his words. He told me he would.
- no he head an emergency at home and had to leave - Jin explained, I sight.
- oh, i will than - i tell him.
- you seem tired y/n do you want me to go instead? - he offers.
- no is fine… - i tell him - he die a know you yet, it could make things difficult.
- okay - Jin says - call me if anything happens.
- I will, thank you.
I turn off the call, getting in the elevator. I push the bottom to the floor of the special hybrids where. My eyes feeling a bit heavier, I tried to push it away. Just one last check up and I can go home.
The elevators doors opened at the floor, the sound waking me up from my tiredness. I quickly made my way through the long corridor with doors to Yoongis room.
Pressing the code on the lock beside the door, it opens making a sound. The hot wave of air hitting my body as usual once i made my way in, the lights slowly turning back on.
Once they’re on I made my way to his bed, panicked at not seeing him there or any sing of him at all.
- Yoongi? - i call out his name, locking around the room but still no sight of him.
My heart begins to beat faster, as my mind runs different scenarios of what might have happened. Worry filling my body as I throw the papers i gel in my hand on the floor, taking my cellphone to call Jin as I turn to leave the room.
Still with eyes locked on my phone i don’t notice the lights slowly turning off, nothing takes my attention from the cellphone until arms close over my wrist turning my around.
My phone falling on the ground as he pushed me against the wall, both hands holding my wrists over the wall above my head.
- Yoongi?! - I stared into his dark orbs, relief filling me up. - I thought something happened to you…
He didn’t said anything. A hard look over his features, I couldn’t decipher what it meant. He held me tighter coming closer to my face.
- why do you smell like trash? - he spat.
- what? - I was so lost.
I knew I worked late but, is not like didn’t look out for myself. Working at the clinic I had to make sure I was always clean. I couldn’t understand what he meant.
- you stink of male rut… - he spat at me, hissing at the end. Eyebrows furred into an angry expression.
I should’ve thought about that before coming here stray after treating a hybrid on heat, shit. Knowing how Yoongi was sensitive about others males I should’ve at least put on some perfume.
- it’s not like that… - i tried to lessen his anger but it only seemed to make it worse.
- I don’t care… - he pushed himself away from me - don’t ever come back here smelling like that again…
- I won’t - i tell him, still not moving I watched as he walks back to his bed. - im sorry, I didn’t have time to… wash this off.
He doesn’t say anything, sitting on ver his bed he looks at me from afar.
- tomorrow will start your shedding treatment… - i tell him, still not moving from my spot.
At the smell of another male it was better did I kept my distance so it wouldn’t be too overwhelming for him who had a much higher sense.
- i just came to check on you, to make sure…
- come here - he interrupted, he voice sounded heavy almost a growl.
I would be lying if a said I wasn’t afraid, my phone was lost somewhere in this room and I had no way of calling for help if something happened. Although I knew he wouldn’t do something to hurt me i couldn’t be sure, the situation was a lot different now.
I could say something but, his instincts would say another complete different than mine.
Still I made my way towards him. Stopping a few steps away from him.
- closer… - he sighted. Dark eyes looking me up and down.
I gulped down, making my way closer to him. Stopping in front of him.
He looked up at me boxers getting up from the bed, close enough to kill me if he wanted to.
- was it a patient of yours? - he asked, voice low and raspy. He meant the smell.
- yes… - i manage to whisper, I felt so small in front of him. Like a pray.
- you’ll see him again? - he asked, taking a step closer. No distance between us. His breath hitting my face.
- yes… - i tell him, my eyes finally looking up at his.
He only nodded understanding.
- I don’t like this smell on you - i says, making me gulp down as i looking into his eyes. - but i understand…
He pushes me against him it happens so fast, once I notice he is pressing me down on his bed. Both his legs on each side of my hips, he held my arms up against the nest of covers and sheets.
Keeping them up he slides his hands down my arms over my sides, one finger playing with the bottoms of my shirt.
- you look healthy… - he murmurs eyeing me up and down.
- what…
He didn’t let me finish. Opening my shirt he went down over my chest, I gasped in surprise. Turning my face to the side, I expected anything except what he did.
I slowly opened my eyes at the feeling of his hot breath over my neck, my own breath got stuck in my throat the moment I felt the wetness of his tongue sliding over my chest up my neck.
- what are you doing? - I asked, my voice was only a whisper.
- taking that disgusting smell off you - he said over my neck.
- oh…
- but you’ll see him again… - he said, I turned to look at him.
- I have to, his my patient - i explained.
- than this won’t do… - he whispered more to himself, one hand holding my chin up he slowly turned my face to the side.
With my neck on full display for him he came closer, this time whispering over my ear.
- have you ever been bitten by a snake?
At his question my mind rushed with realization, my heart beating faster as his lips brushed over my skin. I tried to move my legs but he only used his body weight to held me down, my hands over his shoulders trying to push him away were quickly held up over my head with his left hand.
He chuckled at my useless try’s to get away from him.
A gasp leaving my lips immediately at the feeling of his sharp teeth carving my skin, tears filling my eyes at the painful sensation of his teeth inserting his venom on me. His hands slowly leaving his hold over me, i couldn’t move.
Once he took his teeth out of my skin, I groaned in pain. Feeling the warm liquid fall down my neck, he licked over the bite. Hand holding my chin to look at him.
- don’t worry… it will feel good soon - I looked up at him, his voice was a whisper in the dark.
My mind felt dizzy, vision getting blurry the heat of the room wasn’t helpful. My whole busy was burning, I tried to push him away but as soon as my hands came in touch with the silk over his skin my entire body responded, a wave of electicity coming up from the tips of my fingers to my whole body.
- Yoongi…
My eyes began to get heavier and heavier, hands falling beside me as I fell asleep.
Not before I felt his warm finger trace my jaw softly, his voice so far away I couldn’t make out what he said before I fall completely asleep.
Am i dying?
Next?
Notes: YES FINALLY!! Hehe I’m sorry for any grammatical typos! ☺️💖
Taglist: @blue-and-grey-army @crystallizedtime @fairywriter-oracle e @dancerninjastudent-blog @rosquilleta @celticcountrygal l @m4gg13-g @alexxa013 @unadulteratedlyunique @kpopmultistantrashsstuff @anaspectoflife @younhakim29 @slinekyu @yoongislatinagff f @pandafuriosa60 @kimsonlyluv @jiminbluerose @serialkillerattracterhopefully @slut-4-yourmom @illnevertrustmyselfagain @bangchanbabygirlx @itsskyvoltage @welcometomyworld13 @totorokokorostar @ievaantane @momnomnom @honsoolgloss @kimtaehussy @amariemoore @starrlo0ver @missmin @whipwhoops @glosstwn @i-have-no-life-charlie @kooslilhoe e @catlove83 @taegicity @ginger-coffee-addict @rosquilleta @tarahardcore @liveyun @manuosorio @thvlover7 @4ukiyo4 @sukonsukuna a @passionandsuga @missroro @btspurplesky @i-am-invisible-for-you @dancerninjastudent-blog @blablase @itsskyvoltage @welcometomyworld13 @watermelon2319 @totorokokorostar
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lilblossom5294 · 7 months ago
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Ways I Celebrate & Heal My Inner Child
🌸 Drawing , Coloring , & Sketching - My Inner Child Loves Art And Creating Art . I Have An Entire Wall In My Bedroom I Call “ The Wall Of Beloved ” Where I Put Up Art That We’ve Made As Well As The Art And Notes That My Loved Ones Give Me . The Wall Is Almost Filled , So I Might Need To Put More Around The Room ; But It Adds Makes Us Happy And Gives My Inner Child Validation That Their Art Is Special Too !
🦋 Playing Games - My Inner Child Loves Minecraft , The Papa < Insert Food > Games , Card Games , And Board Games ! We Used To Play Them All The Time , So When Given The Opportunity , We Let Our Creativity And Cleverness Shine When We Game .
🌸 Arts & Crafts - My Inner Child Likes To Take Things Apart And Put Them Back Together Or Make Something New With Them ! So , It’s Interesting With Problem Solving And Creativity When We Make Something New , Especially When Making Something Unique !
🦋 Wearing Clothes We Were Too Afraid To Wear - This One May Seem A Little Weird , But We All Have Felt This To Some Degree Or Another . As A Child & Teenager , I Was Too Worried About What Others Thought Of Me Yet Admired Others For Embracing Themselves , Even If It Meant Getting More Attention And Backlash . Now , Whenever I’m Down , I Play Dress Up And Make Myself Confident And Stylish .
🌸 Having A Meeting With My Stuffies - Stuffies Are Your Most Friendliest And Accepting Of Your Group , Why Not Occasionally Check Up On Them , Consult Them About Something That’s Bothering You , And - Or Hanging Out With Each Other ? Who Knows , Mayhaps They Know Something We Don’t That Could Help Us !
🦋 Writing , Journaling , & Storytelling - This Is Where We Can Discover Our Vivid Imagination And Things Below The Surface . If Big Me Is Having A Difficult Day , We Go To Building New Worlds And Telling Stories Beyond Your Imagination Or Journal To Understand How We Are Feeling And Whats Going On To Understand Ourselves .
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its-avalon-08 · 5 months ago
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omg that other anon is right, would you pls consider writing something about lando’s talk with emma?
you asked, i wrote and i hope you enjoy!
BONUS SCENE FOR - show me you love me (ln4)
Lando took a deep breath before knocking on Emma’s door. He knew what he had to do, but that didn’t make it any easier. The events of the past few weeks had opened his eyes, and he couldn’t ignore the impact his friendship with Emma had on Y/N anymore. He had to make things right, and that meant having this difficult conversation.
Emma opened the door, a bright smile on her face. “Lando! What a surprise! Come in, come in.”
He stepped inside, the tension in his shoulders evident. “Hey, Emma. We need to talk.”
Emma’s smile faltered slightly, but she led him to the living room. “Sure, what’s up?”
Lando took a seat, his expression serious. ���Emma, this isn’t easy for me to say, but I need to end our friendship.”
Emma’s eyes widened in shock. “What? Why?”
Lando sighed, running a hand through his hair. “It’s about Y/N. Our closeness has been hurting her more than I realized, and I can’t let that continue.”
Emma rolled her eyes, crossing her arms. “Oh, come on, Lando. Y/N’s just being dramatic. She needs to grow up.”
Lando’s jaw tightened. “No, Emma, she’s not. I’ve seen how much pain she’s been in because of us, because of me. I’ve been blind to it, but not anymore. I love her, and I can’t keep hurting her.”
Emma scoffed, leaning back on the couch. “So, you’re just going to throw away our friendship because she’s insecure? That’s pathetic.”
Lando’s eyes flashed with anger. “Emma, this isn’t just about her being insecure. You knew how she felt, and you kept pushing the boundaries anyway. You knew what you were doing.”
Emma’s smirk faded, and her eyes narrowed. “Oh, please. Don’t blame this on me. You were just as involved as I was. If you cared so much about her, you wouldn’t have let it get this far.”
Lando shook his head, frustration boiling over. “I take full responsibility for my actions, and I’m ashamed of how I’ve hurt Y/N. But you’ve been fucking manipulative, Emma. You enjoyed seeing her upset.”
Emma’s expression turned cold. “Maybe I did. But that’s not my problem. It’s yours.”
Lando stood up, his fists clenched at his sides. “Well, it is my problem, and I’m fixing it. I can’t be friends with someone who takes pleasure in someone else’s pain. This ends now, Emma. Y/N is my whole world. Knowing that I caused her such pain is just- it's the fucking worst.”
Emma stood up too, glaring at him. “Fine, Lando. If you want to be whipped by your insecure girlfriend, go ahead. But don’t come crawling back when you realize how pathetic you’re being.”
Lando took a deep breath, feeling a surge of determination. "Emma, this isn't just about Y/N's insecurities. It's about respect. You've crossed lines that shouldn't have been crossed, and it's hurt someone I love deeply."
Emma's eyes flashed with irritation. "Oh, come on, Lando. Y/N needs to toughen up. We're just friends. She needs to get over it. She can't act like a goddamn child."
Lando shook his head, his voice firm. "No, Emma. You knew exactly what you were doing. You knew how much it bothered Y/N and you did it anyway. That's not something a real friend would do."
Emma laughed bitterly. "So, you're really choosing her over our friendship? After all these years?"
"Yes, I am," Lando replied, his tone unwavering. "Because I've seen the pain in her eyes. I've seen the tears. I've seen how much she's struggled, and I can't ignore that. She means everything to me, and I won't let anyone come between us."
Emma's expression hardened. "You're making a big mistake, Lando. You’re going to regret this."
Lando stepped closer, his eyes blazing with conviction. "The only mistake I made was not seeing this sooner. Not standing up for Y/N sooner. She deserves someone who puts her first, and that's what I'm going to do. So, this is goodbye, Emma. I hope you can find it in yourself to understand one day, but right now, my priority is Y/N."
Emma's smirk turned into a sneer. "Fine, Lando. Run back to your little girlfriend. But you'll come back."
Lando nodded, his voice calm but resolute. "I won't. Bye Emma."
He turned and walked out of her apartment, closing the door firmly behind him. As he walked down the hallway, he felt a weight lift off his shoulders. It was an end to a long-time friendship, but he knew it was necessary. His love for Y/N was worth any sacrifice, and he was determined to show her that she was his priority.
He knew they had a long road ahead of them, but for the first time in a long while, he felt like they were on the right path. He couldn’t wait to hold her in his arms and reassure her that she was the most important person in his life. And he would spend every day proving it to her, starting now.
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huh-i-guess · 2 years ago
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The Choice
(Miguel O’Hara x F!Reader)
Summary: Miguel needs your help with the Miles situation.
Warnings: Angst (?) 🛑SPOILERS 🛑 idk if this is fluffy or not -_-
Word Count: 683
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“Miggy. I think you are being too hard on him. The kid’s 15 and he's scared. You and I both know what that is like.” You started as you paced through Miguel’s lair.
“He doesn't know what it is like to lose someone- EVERYONE that he loves. He’s a selfish immature kid who doesn't deserve to have his powers. That bite wasn’t even meant for him” He fumed as he slammed his fist onto his desk console.
“Please mi amor. Have some compassion for him. He is a kid.” You pleaded.
“Y/N this isn't just about his dad okay. The world. His world. Ours. The multiverse. Everything could collapse. I can't lose anyone else. I can't lose you.” Miguel drops to his knees in front of you and places his head onto your stomach.
“Cariño there will be nothing left. I have dedicated my whole life to keeping the multiverse safe. I can’t let this anomaly mess it up. It's not just him and his dad. It’s you and me. It’s all of us.” He looked up at you with tears rimming his waterline. He looked at you with a pain that was normally reserved for his memories of his daughter. It pained you to see him like this.
“Miggy… I don’t know what to say. ” You ache. You look down at your partner and feel something that you haven't felt in years. It's uncertainty. The deep gnawing feeling stuck in your chest. You felt like it was wrong to trust your heart. Miguel is a man who has been through a lot in his life. He has always been knowledgeable and understanding. He is the one who has always made the difficult choices but this. This felt like some horrible test that assesses your moral compass. Choose your lover and the universe or a scared, curious kid whose future holds great potential for bad and good, who wants to save his family. This dilemma was one that ripped you apart because at some point in your life, you have been in Miles’ shoes but now you are a grown person who has had the blinders of youth ripped away from you. You have felt fear and loss in your life but never have you expected and anticipated it. To know what Miles knows must be gut wrenching. And that is why you feel what you do. This situation has broken you and what you stand for. It has made you doubt yourself.
“I need to stop him. This has to happen. It's happened to all of us and we are built stronger from it. He’s caused too much damage.” You lifted Miguel from his knees and embraced him in your arms. You tugged at his suit and felt your tears fall from your face. You inhaled deeply and felt the drum of his heartbeat. This man who has fought for you for so many years and loved you deeply. The fear that flooded you at the thought of his heart stopping was enough to shake you. He was right. No matter how wrong it felt to let your love force a child to watch his father die, you knew he was right.
“I need you with me. Please, Cariño. You are one of our strongest and brightest. Stay by my side. Please. I need to know that you will support me.” You knew Miguel would never beg unless he was in desperate need. Looking around and seeing the damage Miles caused to the tower, you felt his desperation was well placed. He removed his clawed gloves and placed his hand on your cheek. You leaned into his warm touch.
“This feels so wrong Miggy. I don't want him to go through this pain. I can't wish that grief onto anyone.” You pleaded as you lifted your head to meet his gaze. He let out a small sigh and brought his lips to yours. His plump warm lips met yours and filled you with a sense of calm.
He placed his forehead against yours and stated with anguish, “It’s our only option.”
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bagopucks · 1 year ago
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A. Matthews - Worlds Worst Dad
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✄————————————
Auston Matthews x Fem!reader
Word Count: 3.4k
Warning(s): another family fight.
When I had gotten the request to do Auston and Hudson angst, I had initially started with two fics and for whatever reason I had them both completed last season. So I tweaked this one a little so I could still post it.
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Hudson was too young to understand.
“Just listen to me, bud.”
Auston had been so busy with the playoffs, that he hadn’t been home. He had been so busy with his job, and myself with my own, that at some point, we lost sight of how important communication was. Not necessarily for us, but for Hudson.
“You said you wouldn’t leave!”
“I’m right here.” Auston sounded so lost. I couldn’t blame him. Neither of us really expected our reunion to go this way. Hudson had been patient at first when playoffs began, but at some point he had given up. He’d become upset at first, worried. Nervous. Then he became angry. So angry. I couldn’t see into his mind. I couldn’t understand what he felt, but I knew it had to do with the way his biological father left. Sure, he didn’t remember it happening, but after his grandfather let the story slip one day, ‘fathers’ became a fragile subject for Hudson.
“You’re not around any more!”
Auston responded to texts when he could, and always called back when he missed a call, but the time zone differences made things difficult. Hudson didn’t understand why Auston couldn’t talk. Why Auston never stayed on the phone long enough to speak to him.
I had thought Hudson’s behavior would turn around when I announced Auston’s return home. Apparently it didn’t. I knew the knockout was hard, and I knew it took a toll on Auston, but I also knew he was ready to be back. I had warned the man before he came home, but I hadn’t expected Hudson to lash out the way he did. It was the last thing any of us needed.
“I’ve been a little busy, Hudson. Just chill out okay?”
I felt like a horrible mother. A horrible lover.
“Don’t tell me to chill out! You left!”
“Hudson don’t speak to Auston that way.” I reprimanded hopelessly.
“I didn’t leave.” Auston argued with a scoffed out laugh.
“Yes you did! Get out!”
“Hudson.” I finally heard him get tense.
“Get out!”
“Hudson, listen to me!” Auston raised his voice. It wasn’t something he did with Hudson. Mainly because he never had to. I could tell by the silence, that Hudson was trying to understand what was happening. Trying to process what it meant that Auston was angry.
“No!” The boy finally shouted back.
“Hudson! I have to work!” Auston finally snapped. I flinched, raising my hand slowly to clasp over my mouth as I felt a pang of emotion in my chest. Hudson simply didn’t want to be abandoned again. Not by another dad.
“I don’t want you! You’re a horrible dad!”
I jumped off the couch as soon as I realized what had been said. The blanket over my legs falling to the floor.
“What? You don’t mean that.” Auston’s nervous laugh had my heart thudding against my chest.
“Yes. I do.” The determination in my son’s voice had me immediately crossing the room to reach my son. “You’re horrible.” I watched Auston’s expression shift, and I felt my own breath catch in my throat as I spotted the tears in his eyes. As I reached for my son, he turned, shoving my hand away and storming off down the hall. The slam of the bedroom door had both of us flinching. My hand flew up to rest against Auston’s arm, squeezing gently.
“Aus,” I couldn’t undo the damage that had been done. I could see it in Auston’s eyes. He was devastated. “You know he doesn’t mean that” I whispered as I tried to turn his body to face my own. “He’s just emotional.”
“He said it pretty loud and clear.” Auston gestured toward the door, speaking as if it was an obvious fact. And it was. But that didn’t mean anything. Hudson was a kid, and Auston had done no wrong. He’d understand that eventually, and come around.
“He’s having a hard time. You have to know that.” I tried to push a piece of Auston’s long hair back before he pulled away, pursing his lips and shaking his head. My stomach twisted in knots.
“That’s okay… it’s fine- I’m fine.” Auston shrugged, “I’ve gotta go and get my dog anyway.” I had never seen Auston guard himself before in such a manner. He’d always been open with his feelings and emotions. “I’ll talk to you some other time, okay?” He shrugged once again, trying to keep up with the chill facade he usually didn’t have to fake.
“You can stay tonight.” I tried, but I knew he wasn’t going to.
“No, it’s okay. I don’t think I’m really making your life easier right now.”
“You’re not here to make my life easier, Auston.” I watched him slip past me, and I followed him to the door. “Sometimes Hudson isn’t going to like things you do. He’s the kid. You’re still in charge.”
“I can’t be in charge of him if he fucking hates me!” Auston shouted in a hushed tone. I watched as tears finally began to roll down his cheeks. This was not the type of reaction he hoped for after such a shitty second round knockout. Things were piling up on him.
“Don’t go home alone like this.” I insisted, wishing I could have comforted him the way he had done for me so many times before.
“I’ll be fine.”
“I’m sorry, Aus.” I whispered as I watched him slip his shoes on.
“It’s not your fault.” He shrugged again.
“I’m still sorry. You don’t deserve it.” He turned to glance at me, eyes distant. Thinking.
“I probably do.”
We had said our goodbyes before Auston left. Auston and Hudson were best friends as much as they were family. I knew it killed Auston to think he’d hurt and disappointed Hudson. And I knew it made him feel terrible to think he’d done so horribly that Hudson hated him.
“Hudson.” I had waited a while to speak with my son, uncertain of what to say. When I pushed open his bedroom door, I found Hudson coloring in a book on the floor. Something bothered me about how calm he looked. He looked up from his coloring book when I approached, fidgeting with the blue crayon in his hand.
“Yeah?”
“Honey, you really hurt Auston.” I tried to be gentle as I spoke. I sat down on the floor across from Hudson, watching his eyes fall back to the book on the floor. “Hudson.” I tried to gain his attention. “Auston’s really sad. He doesn’t want you to be angry with him.”
Hudson’s hand shook slightly before he dropped the crayon. He remained silent before I heard him sniff.
“Then why’d he leave?”
“He told you, Hudson.” I moved to sit beside the boy, wrapping an arm around his back. “He’s gone away for work before.”
“But he always talks!”
“The end of the season was super busy for him, Hudson. Auston never meant to hurt you. He loves you, so much.”
“No he doesn’t.” Hudson pulled his knees to his chest, hiding his face in them as quiet cries escaped his lips.
“I promise he does. He always asked about you when he had time to call. He always said he was so excited to come home and see you. Hudson, he missed you more than he missed me.” I rubbed the boy’s back.
“No he didn’t.” Sometimes I cursed the heavens for giving my son the same stubborn behavior I held.
“Hudson.” I moved my hand from his back, turning his head to look at me. “Auston loves you more than anything. He hated being away for hockey. He hated the fact that he couldn’t be there to help you sign up for your first peewee team. He hated missing your last day of school, and he hated missing the little party we threw.” I watched the tears slip down his cheeks. “Auston tried so hard to call me that night. But things got in the way and he felt horrible.” Hudson leaned against my side, crying quietly as I returned my hand to his back, rubbing gentle circles.
“Is he mad at me?” Hudson’s voice trembled.
“Honey, I don’t think he’s angry. Just upset. You should never tell people you hate them. Especially someone as close to you as Auston is.”
“I’m sorry.” Hudson buried his head in his hands.
“I’m not the one you need to apologize to, hun.” I ran my hand through the boy’s hair. “And the only way that guilt is gonna go away, is if you say sorry to Auston.”
“I will.” Hudson croaked out, another sob shaking his body. I sat on the floor with him for a half an hour before he began to relax. As much as I wanted him to apologize and be over with the ordeal, I figured a day with nan was needed first. A day for him to get out of the house, to see one of his favorite people, to avoid the situation at hand. He’d been at home waiting for Auston for weeks. He needed a break.
So the next morning, I helped him pack up and promised I’d be there the following day to see him. He asked about apologizing to Auston, but I said it was a good thing to give somebody space when they’re upset. I didn’t tell him I had plans to visit Auston. Kids didn’t need to know everything.
“One minute!” I heard Felix bark. I hadn’t seen the dog in forever. I was tempted to press the doorbell again for the sake of fun, but just as I reached for it, Auston was pulling the door open and hooking a finger in Felix’s bandana to hold him back.
“Hey, what’s-“ he stopped the second he looked up from his dog, a smile slow to form on his lips. Though it faltered when his eyes wandered, taking note of the unusual silence.
“No Hudson.” I spoke reassuringly. “I just came to see you.” I wanted to check on him, but Auston didn’t need to know that.
“You can come in.” Auston stepped aside and let Felix go. I walked into the house as he shut the door, greeting Felix with a high pitched hello and rubbing the dog’s ears while he padded his feet on the floor and wagged his tail endlessly.
“Somebody just got a hair cut.” I commented. “And he looks so handsome!”
“Thanks.” I looked up at Auston when he spoke, laughing at his sarcasm.
“You certainly look like you could use one too. Need me to cut it?” I offered, standing upright to pull at a lock of his brown hair. “It is getting a little long.”
“If you have time.” Auston shrugged. I could tell he was uncertain as to whether this was a quick stop or a full day visit.
“Well, Hudson’s having a sleep over with nan. So, if you’ll have me, I wouldn’t mind staying here tonight.” I smiled. “I’ll have all the time in the world then.” I watched him smile and nod, reaching for one of my hands.
“Yeah, yeah you can stay.” I was surprised when Auston pulled me into a hug, his entire body pressed against my own while his head fell against my shoulder. He was stressed. I couldn’t help but wonder if it was still about Hudson.
“Come on, baby. Let’s get this hair cut.”
Auston and I had been so busy, that we almost forgot how important it was to continue to nurture our own relationship. I couldn’t help the guilt I felt as I watched him walk up the steps, following at a safe pace behind. I missed him. The alone time, the childish nights of cuddling and making out. Even the failed dates we vowed to never go on again.
I followed Auston into the master bathroom, setting the toilet seat down while he got the shears and hair clippers out, as well as a squirt bottle. He made sure everything was functional and ready before turning to me with his comb in hand.
This had not been what I came over for, but I knew a bit of loving contact would loosen him up and hopefully cause him to be more open to the conversation we needed to have. I wanted to be on the same page with Auston before he and Hudson spoke again. Sure, Hudson had said he’d hated Auston before, and yes they had sorted that conflict out on their own. But this was a little bigger than that. Hudson had hit Auston’s insecurities right on the head and he didn’t even know it.
“Pop a squat.” I spoke, gently resting my hand on Auston’s hip and guiding him down onto the toilet. “What did you and Felix do today?” I created small talk as I combed through Auston’s smooth hair, glancing at his face occasionally to see his eyes closed and a faint smile on his lips.
“We went for a walk. Hung out by the pool for a little while, planned his next playdate with Zeus. Oh! And I ordered him some new toys and treats for his birthday.”
“I forgot it was his birthday coming up. How old is he going to be?” Speaking of the dog, Auston and I both looked toward the door when his tags jingled. Felix sat in the doorway, dropping a ball on the floor and watching it bounce into the bathroom. Auston laughed. I had missed his happiness.
“Not now, buddy.” He spoke to his furry friend. “He’ll be turning five.”
“Five is a big number.” I teased softly, earning a laugh from Auston. I set his comb down after I finished using it, reaching for the bottle to begin spritzing his hair. Once I was sure it was well wetted, I swapped once again for the shears. “Hold still, okay?”
“Got it.” We sat in silence for close to five minutes before I watched Auston’s shoulders drop. Relaxed? Relieved?
“How are you feeling today?” My tone grew much softer, trying not to cause any discomfort. I watched Felix lay down in the doorway before I began to cut Auston’s hair.
“I guess I’m alright. Still a little shaken up.. about everything that’s happened, but I’m okay.”
“I spoke with Hudson last night. He was pretty upset about what he said to you.”
“I guess that’s good to hear.” Auston looked down at his hands. I sighed.
“You know how much he loves you, right? You are the first person on his mind every day.”
“Yeah, but-“
“No, Auston. Listen.. kids say things they don’t mean sometimes. They don’t have the best filters, or grasps on their emotions. And Hudson has never spent that long without seeing you before. It was a routine that got messed up, and for kids, routines are important. Routines are things they expect that they can trust to be consistent. This was a learning curve for everybody. He was anxious. He missed you, and it was hard for him to go to bed at night without hearing from you. He also doesn’t understand time.” I took Auston’s silence as a cue to go on. “Even if you did nothing wrong, he registered it as something wrong. It may take him some time to figure it out, but he still loves you, and once that consistency is restored, everything will be okay.”
Auston shuffled his feet slightly, nodding.
“I’m sorry I left last night.”
“Aus, a lot of shit happened last night. I didn’t expect you to stay. You’ve been so stressed, and I know that fight didn’t help at all. I’m just happy I can be here with you today.”
It was about fifteen more minutes before I finished cutting Auston’s hair. I set everything aside and grabbed a towel and a washcloth from his cabinet. “Why don’t you grab a shower, I’ll get you some clothes and we can go lay down for a bit.” I set the two towels down on the lip of the tub as Auston stood up. When I turned around, I came face to face with him.
“Thanks for being there,” his voice was barely louder than a whisper, hands landing on my hips. Our lips met briefly in a chaste kiss before I pulled away. “I’ll be fast,” he promised. I stepped out of the bathroom and pulled the door closed, fetching a fresh set of clothing from Auston’s dresser. I stepped back into the bathroom, placing the clothing on the counter top. Auston had already hopped into the shower, drawing the curtain back slightly to peek at me. 
“Wanna join?”
I pretended to consider the question before I sighed, as if I was plagued by saying yes.
“Fine, but only because I missed you, Matthews.”
“Awesome.” I watched the curtain fall closed, laughing softly to myself. I stripped down, leaving my clothes in a heap on the floor. I slid the engagement ring off my finger, placing it in the jewelry dish by the faucet. One Auston had purchased for days and nights spent at his place. I climbed into the shower, Auston’s hands swiftly finding my body. I helped wash his hair, and rubbed the muscles that were sore while Auston busied himself with every inch of me. His behavior left me giggling for most of the shower, and once the water was turned off, I ushered him out, following close behind. Auston grabbed the towel I had set out for him, wrapping up with a smile on his lips.
“Gotta keep you warm,” Auston spoke, going the extra mile to kneel down and dry my legs. I ran my hands through his fresh cut hair while he worked, smiling to myself at how kind he was.
“Alright, why don’t you get dressed, Aus? I’m gonna go grab some clothes.” I slid out of the bathroom, grabbing a makeshift outfit for myself, constructed of Auston’s clothing. I had things to wear at his place, but his stuff was so much more comfortable.
When Auston stepped out of the bathroom, our eyes met. It had been so long since we were able to spend any time alone. I watched his expression shift into a look of mischief before he rushed in my direction. A gasp escaped my lips when he hoisted me up over his shoulder.
“Auston!” I shouted at him, but it was in vain. I felt him lift me up once again before my back came into contact with his mattress. Then I heard Felix bark, and soon he had joined us for some fun. The fluffy dog hopped up onto the bed, and I was quick to sit up to avoid any unwanted kisses.
“You’re an ass,” I whined at Auston in a playful tone. He climbed up onto the bed and gently pushed me down onto my back once again. Felix tried to invade our fun, sniffing at both Auston and I, before Auston gently waved him off.
“It’s not nice to insult your significant others.” Auston spoke, leaning in to press a kiss to my lips. He climbed off of me and up the bed, sitting down as I sat up. I joined him by the headboard, resting my hand beneath his jaw and bringing his lips to my own again.
“It’s not an insult. It’s a reality check,” I teased. Auston giggled softly, and I swore I could have heard him snort.
Auston laid down and settled his head in my lap. Felix approached with a wagging tail, sniffing at me, and my stomach, before laying down next to me.
“I missed you so much,” Auston whispered as his head came to rest atop my own. “I wish you and Hudson could have come to a game.”
“I know, it just wasn’t in the cards for us this time. It will be next time though.” Auston’s silence made me tense slightly.
“What if there isn’t a next time? What if we don’t make playoffs again?” I looked at him, brow furrowed.
“Whether there is or isn’t, Hudson and I will try to make every important milestone you reach. I can’t tell the future but I can tell you right now, that we love you very much, and we want to be there for you.” My words brought a smile to his lips.
“Thanks,” I pressed a kiss to Auston’s forehead. His eyes fell closed, sighing in comfort.
“Oh, and Hudson watched every one of your playoff games on the tv, just for the record.”
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