#I don’t talk to crocs a lot because I suck at having more that like three people I talk to regularly

[mr-urple]

I'm not sure why I ask for TMNT iteration stuff on anon when I could very well say it with my identity present but hey I get to learn more stuff so that's pretty awesome!

(Also I heard that Leatherhead is gonna be based off of Ethan/Nox so OOOOOH I'M EXCITED 👏👏👏👏)

HWLP???? Well i mean going on anon is fun sometimes so *shrugs*

[shewhoeatssand]

WHY TG BOYS ARE SHIT BOYFRIENDS

I come up with the best topics for posts

Hide 🌞 : axe body spray, probably loves Kaneki more than you, has nicknamed your boobs, has also nicknamed Kaneki’s boobs

Shuu 💐 : introduces you to his entire extended family after less than a month, spams you if he hasn’t heard from you in a week, his house is so so big you will get lost in it very fast (not his fault but still annoying)

Suzuya 🔫 : thinks shoplifting 10 bags of candy is a good date idea, has killed someone in front of you and then desperately tried to explain why it was actually okay because the guy was wearing crocs

Marude 🏍 : refuses to use public transport after having his bike stolen, won’t stop talking about how much he misses his bike, yell-y

Shinohara 😊 : prints out minion memes and shows them to you

Nishiki 🦎 : is ginger, immediately wants to make out with you and have hot ghoul sex after eating a raw lung, easily irritated

Ayato (:re) 🤬 : doesn’t know what a period is and thinks you’re making it up, bullies people on roblox, can be so rude sometimes

Kaneki (pre aogiri) 🥺 : describes everything in incredible detail when he doesn’t like something, will make his best attempt to be talking to you all the time (even when you are pooping) and thinks you hate him if you ask to be left alone, scarily average dick

Kaneki (post aogiri) 🐙 : sleeps on top of you and makes you so sweaty, won’t shut up about fitness and getting stronger, wears a mask with a smile for hours at a time, probably ghosting you by this point tbh (there’s a lot wrong with him so I might make a separate post about why he sucks)

Yoshimura ☕️ : really wholesome, but can’t be dated because a) I’d assume you’re not a boomer b) can’t take hints and c) misses Ukina ;-;

Koma 👹 : he’s actually pretty great and very fun but he brags about how good his coffee is and also about anything else he can think of

Uta 🎭 : eats people’s eyes in front of you and says “it’s okay because they aren’t real, they’re halloween decorations!”, also ate a plastic spider to prove this to you, mind games, spooks you from behind the corner all the time and it gives you anxiety

Amon ✝️ : refuses to kiss with tongue or see you naked until marriage, takes up too much space on the bed, keeps doing long ass speeches about “doing what is right” after killing a guy with a wife and 3 kids

Shikorae 🫠 : doesn’t sit still long enough to have a conversation that makes any sense whatsoever, has so many issues to the point where idk if you’d even be able to befriend him unless it’s by feeding him coffee grounds

Takizawa (pre :re) 🥺: makes everything a competition, disney kid, insists that you have a glass of milk every day

Takizawa (post :re) 🦉: never sleeps, an actual cat, bites your hand, smelly, insists that you have a glass of milk every day

Urie 😶 : first name is “cookie”, punches a hole in the wall when he doesn’t get an award after a raid and someone else does, hides important stuff from you

Shirazu 🦈 : sooooo cool but he can’t spell so you have to edit all his emails for him

Naki 😎 : loud while playing fortnite battle royale, also screams while playing any horror games but insists he should keep playing them, his reading capabilities have the power to instantly kill a literature major

Hanbee 🎩 : unironically loves licorice, absurd fashion, also eats the licorice with a super fancy fork kept in a little fork bag he carries everywhere labeled “the licorice suitcase”

Tatara 🤯 : is always busy so you can’t spend much time together, one time a cat meowed at him and he meowed back in the most serious voice, penis is actually too big to fit inside 😔

Mutsuki 😇 (before the insane shit happened): you have to kill all the spiders, very clingy and has similar issues to pre-aogiri Kaneki, puts cinnamon on a lot of things that don’t really need cinnamon

Arima 🌨 : cold, you’ll never truly know about him, not very open, a general mystery to the point where you don’t even know if he’s actually your boyfriend

Haise 🐼 : BAD PUNS, insists that he spends every afternoon and evening with you instead of doing his work so he ends up doing it super late into the night and gets tired in the morning, too easy to manipulate and too eager to please (kind of an issue with all the Kanekis really), sometimes he talks to the wall or makes a sour face for no reason

~~~~ BONUS ~~~~

Yamori 🕺 : sadistic torturer (obvious part), his farts smell so incredibly bad that you have to evacuate the room while he wonders wtf is going on (not so obvious), unfixable

OS! Kaneki 😎 : walks around shirtless in winter, sometimes he doesn’t even wear pants, touches your boobs randomly and it gets old real fast

[fallensnowfan]

Wanted to talk about Luffy’s main arc baddies.

-Morgan/Helmeppo: Good starter villains, vanity for the sake of it, and just a wacky (initially) unlikable guy. Both embody very much the opposite of what Luffy and Zoro stand for.

-Buggy: Would truly shine later, makes him kind of sucking for his intro that much funnier, considering where he is currently at in the story. A god of charisma and luck.

-Kuro: Great foil to Usopp, though a bit bland.

-Krieg: Overconfident jerk in the best way.

-Arlong: Fantastic baddie to conclude the East Blue part of the story, Arlong Pirates being the last major enemy the crew faces and defeats before starting the next leg of their journey and enter the Grand Line. Reads to me as someone who is stagnant in life or is unable to truly move forward. Luffy is still more than prepared to face him, though Arlong's true strength as a character is that he is more than we see at first glance. What we learned of his past during Fishman Island added a lot of depth to his actions and connected Nami's and Jinbei's stories in a very natural way.

-Wapol: Acts as a minor foil to Vivi's arc/style of leadership more than anything. Hateable though good for what he represents. Survived decapitation so gets a bonus point for being the only One Piece character to have managed that. Baby 5 and Buffalo don't count, not fully any way.

-Crocodile: Great all around, so smooth, so cool. Love Croc, love Baroque Works.

-Bellamy: Punchable but also great and had one of the more unique villain motivations in the series.

-Enel: Wacky and fun, though not a character I felt very invested in. I secretly hope he never shows up again and when asked, Oda pretends he doesn't remember the character. That would be hilarious and the best outcome for Enel to me.

-Lucci: Moody asshole with the personality of a wet paper bag, an underwhelming fighting style for a spy, and is not especially well incorporated into the story of Water 7 in my opinion. The city of Water 7 is 99.9 the same after as it was before. His beard post-timeskip is offensive level bad. Die sir.

-Moria: At the time, he was the Warlord with the best writing behind him. A look at how Luffy could end up if he didn't have a "Jinbei" to refocus him after facing annihilation. Has one of my favorite devil fruits in the series. I want a flashback about his and Perona’s first meeting.

-Hody: Good antagonist to ring in the timeskip and the arc which would have Jinbei meeting the rest of the crew. Similar to Arlong though with little in the way of a long term goal in life beyond spreading hatred. Works well with the message of the arc.

-Caesar: ew die.

-Doffy: In my opinion, him and his crew didn't really work as the main baddies of an arc, Monet and Vergo felt more threatening + compelling. Fine overall, though I find Doffy more interesting at Jaya and Marineford. Nice laugh tho.

-Katakuri: Another great foil to Luffy and turns into a donut death wheel. Is more someone Luffy can aspire to surpass than he is a reflection of Luffy's worst case scenario, as Moria was for Luffy.

-Kaido: Fascinating philosophy of wanting to be remembered though for the wrong thing. Unlike Whitebeard, Roger, Yasu, etc. Kaido only cared about his death itself being remembered, and didn't put in any effort into fostering a successor or a legacy. Said friendship was a sham though invited his own downfall with the way he ran his crew, a structure which invited backstabbing at every turn. Also a bit of a coward, resorting to lying to Oden in the past, because he knew he couldn’t defeat him. A relic of the bygone era of Rocks who will likely be forgotten by the world at large.

Kaido’s defeat was a great spectacle, the battle had him facing, nine samurai, Luffy with new haki and a new gear, four more pirates, and a dog and a dragon, and was built on Luffy’s connections he has spent time and effort forging since Punk Hazard, what he learned from Hyogoro, sent Kaido into a magma chamber which lead to an eruption that signaled both his send off and the beginning of a new era, and was seen by all of Wano, so cool. I see many folks saying they wanted more though fail to offer a what or how they would have things believably go differently. Kaido trying to rely purely on might ultimately failing him is a good defeat, as is Big Mom allowing herself to lose focus due to Law silencing her, then rashly attacking the explosive in an attempt to make herself be heard.

Many of the points I see brought up against Wano's ending remind me of vague concerns I remember seeing about if Oda has abandoned Big Mom's story, near the start of Wano. Arcs in One Piece don't really "end" when Luffy beats the baddie and sails to the next destination, especially at this point in the story, with so many characters being interconnected and woven throughout.

[ihatebnha]

i know this isn't good for me but, icks for todobakudeku?

tbh we all need a lil reminder that these boys, even if they’re hot and talented, are still BOYS nonetheless....

Enjoy!

-

Bakugo 

Laughs at you whenever you do something embarrassing in public instead of trying to help you fix it

Mansplains... if you’re doing something wrong, even if you know it’s wrong and don’t care, he’s yelling at telling you how to do it properly... (and he doesn’t listen when you tell him to knock it off, either)

Sometimes spits when he yells

Talks SUPER LOUDLY on the phone... in public... (and ignores you the entire call)

Wears the same socks for like a week straight

His fingers are c h u n k y

Also probably has hang nails 

Doesn’t know how much makeup costs and complains about the price when you’re checking out... EVEN IF HE’S NOT PAYING

Does that kinda weird and nasty thing where he licks his finger to wipe a smudge off of something... your face included 

BUT... swats you away when you try to do the same thing for him

Swears in front of your family and doesn’t know why it’s wrong... 

Also yells at his mom in front of you 

Has a pair of house crocs 

If you go to the gym with him, he’s teasing you if you don’t end up finishing your workout

Backwashes in your water bottle 

Blanket hog. This one sucks because he probably only sleeps with one, anyway

Always sweaty.... 

If you let him take a bite of something you’re eating, he’s biting off more than half of it (and gets mad or denies it when you point it out)

Calls you his “old woman” or something equally as weirdly offensive like “broad”

His ass is hairy

Deku 

You have a lot of moments when you have to repeat yourself because he wasn’t listening, either too busy muttering about something or staring you you like🙂🥴😗 

Whenever you express your insecurities to him, he says stuff like, “I like you, though”👉🏻👈🏻

Cries when you cry because he doesn’t like seeing you sad

Probably has a hard time putting change back in his wallet when he pays with cash 

Picks his nose with a tissue and then stares at the boogers

Still wears jackets from years ago that don’t fit him anymore (and when you try to get him to donate them, he gets sentimental) 

Asks if you’re embarrassed to be seen with him... IN FRONT OF OTHER PEOPLE

(Both of you literally holding hands walking around with the Dekusquad when he says this like: ???) 

Also says “I love you” in front of other people, too... and gets mad when you don’t say it back

Kisses you with morning breath

Goes to the grocery store in slides without socks on 

Bacne except he doesn’t let you help treat it (and whines when you pick at it) 

You have to remind him to clip his nails or he’ll forget

Hairy toes

Unironically moans whenever you give him a massage

Sometimes tries to... smooch... you rather than kiss you... 

Todoroki 

Points out whenever your makeup is smeared or you get a new pimple... 

And if he catches you walking around with a pimple patch on, he reaches out and tries to take it off you because he thinks it’s a smudge of dirt or something

Doesn’t acknowledge when he farts. He just lets it rip and walks away...

Will tell people your business if they ask. Has on multiple occasions mentioned to Deku or Iida stuff like you were on your period or that you had to leave because your ice coffee wasn’t “sitting well with you” (if you know what I mean)

Absolutely, vehemently refuses to pick a restaurant on date night. He wants you to choose All The Time

Whenever he finishes getting ready before you, he stands around in your space to watch you finish up

Wears socks with sandals unironically 

Also tries to kiss you with morning breath

Takes everything you say very literally, to the point where if you’re just telling him something super boring like that you don’t really like raw celery, he assumes you HATE it.

(You buy it for a recipe one day, and he’s like: “I thought you hated that?” except this happens multiple. times.)

When you’re mad at him, says “please just tell me what I did, I promise I’ll fix it” 

Sleeps in matching pajama sets 

Will insult something you like if he doesn’t also like it. For example, when you’re choosing new bedsheets or curtains

Also mansplains... even if its stuff that’s COMMON SENSE or doesn’t involve him (like that tampons can give you TSS if you wear them too long) 

Probably tries to hand feed you at some point

“Why would you wear makeup, you’re already so beautiful”

(You, with half your face beat already: ...) 

Has a cum sock

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Best & Worst Superhero Movies Honorable/Dishonorable Mentions

Here are the movies that didn’t make the cut for either end of the list and why they didn’t end up on it:

HONORABLE

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings

This movie has some of the most electrifying action in the MCU, mostly because there’s actual fight choreography. It also features one of the MCU’s finest villains in Wenwu, the reimagined amalgamation of Mandarin and Fu Manchu who is a remarkably three dimensional villain. The third act, though, is extremely weak compared to the rest of the film and kind of bogs things down with an overabundance of CGI. It’s not awful because there’s a strong emotional core, but it does hold it off of the list.

Batman & Robin

I am a well-known defender of this film, but I think Venom was the safer choice for a campy classic. If the list was longer you know I’d have squeezed this on there.

Superman vs. the Elite

The Lego Batman Movie

This one is easy: It didn’t make the cut because it’s more a Lego movie than a Batman movie. Fantastic film, but not really in a “Comic book superhero” sense.

Fantastic Four

Out of every single adaptation of these heroes, this low-budget ashcan copy is the closest we have yet seen to getting things right. The heart is in the right place, but the money wasn’t, and while I don’t want to hold a film back just because it’s cheap, the budget restraints can be felt in a lot of areas. It’s a genuinely charming film at any rate, and it has the best cinematic Doom yet.

DISHONORABLE

Green Lantern

I said on the actual list that this movie isn’t so much “bad” as “excessively mediocre.” Reynolds isn’t awful, the casting is pretty good (especially Mark Strong as Sinestro), and the plot isn’t awful on paper, but there’s just way too much gaudy CGI and the villains suck hardcore. It’s kind of a forgettable but harmless work.

Suicide Squad

People often tout this as the very worst DCEU film, but honestly? It’s kind of charming with how inept it is. Margot Robbie, Jai Courtney, and Will Smith are a lot of fun at the very least and the makeup on Killer Croc is astounding. The baffling editing, constant song switches, bland villain, and the presence of Jared Leto are what really do the film in. Still, as far as trash goes, this is enjoyable trash.

Captain Marvel

This is basically what every MCU hater accuses the MCU of being: Bland, generic, sterile origin stories with little to no personality. The side characters like Talos, Nick Fury, and Rambeau are doing the heavy lifting here because poor Brie Larson is given absolutely nothing to work with. Still, this movie doesn’t really sink below being boring and generic. 

The Eternals

This film just has no idea what it wants to do. It’s trying to be a superhero blockbuster and a deep philosophical tale of immortal beings, but instead of blending these concepts together it’s constantly at odds with itself, cramming massive amounts of lore down your throat and giving you little time to process it. Sure, the movie looks kind of nice, but good looks can’t save a muddled narrative. It’s not totally awful though, and it has a lot of good characters, ideas, and action. It really should have been a TV series.

tim Story’s Fantastic Four duology

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

This was the closest to getting on the list, because it is genuinely an embarrassingly transparent Hugh Jackman vehicle, with characters entering into the narrative and then exiting abruptly as soon as Logan’s done talking with them. And that’s not even talking about what they did to poor Wade Wilson... Still, this is something of a hilariously bad movie, and if nothing else Liev Schreiber is just a little too good as Sabretooth for me to drag him onto the list.

Avengers: Age of Ultron

[lareinenoir]

THE PURGE; Sanctuary C.E x black reader

PT III

60 Days Until The Purge

THEN...

"I'll order take out. I know you like Thai-"

"Don't order anything. I'm actually not even hungry." You said as he took your bag and put it on his shoulder. "What?" He was looking at you weird and it made you frown.

"Where's the rest of your stuff?"

"You asked me to stay the night. That is my overnight bag." You replied folding your arms and walking over to the couch. Your hand touched your forehead and you sighed. You could still feel him looking at you as you tried to relax with your head leaned back. "After I tell Shonda about our situation, you're signing the papers."

"What do you mean-"

"You know what I mean." You shot back

"Ok, well theirs a lot to consider now." He motioned to your stomach and you sat up straight. "We're having a baby, now."

"No no no." You shook your head feeling your petty insides bubble a bit in sarcasm. "I'm having a baby. Me. Just me.”

"Obviously I want to be apart of our baby's life." Chris argued back and you frowned and scoffed. He put your bag down and crossed his arms as you brushed it off. "You can't seriously think I won't. V that's insane."

"You wanna know what's insane? You think you're gonna get anywhere near it. Why in the hell would I allow you and your broken promises anywhere near my child? Do you think I'm stupid? To make the same mistake twice!"

"Again? V what do you want me to do?" He asks throwing his hands up. "Acting is what I do, that's my job-"

"I don't care about that. I'm not asking you to chose your job or me-"

"It damn well near sounds like it. I would never make you choose." He countered back and you gripped your fists together.

"You may not have said it directly, but there have been many times where you have indirectly patronized me. I just found out I'm pregnant and I have been trying so hard to deal with it." you replied watching him pace back and forth and shake his head. "I have been getting the worst headaches, I can't keep any food down and I literally get lightheaded on set every single day because hiding my pregnancy has been a real joy ride." You replied sarcastically with a small chuckle

"What do you want me to do? I tell you to tell the producers, you get mad. I tell you to take a break, you get mad. I tell you to come over and you’re mad.” Chris said in disbelief. “I don't know what you want from me." He shrugs brushing the hair from his eyes.

"Not once since you found out have you asked me how I'm doing? My whole career is at risk I could lose my job. And you don't even seem to care.” You said

"V, I do care." He reached for your shoulder and you took in another breath. "I want you to stop worrying all the time. And you're right, I should be concerned more about you. I should be there for you-I should've been there for you in the beginning.” He admitted and you folded your lips again.

Are For real this time? Should I let it go and move past it? Again? No because it'll start all over again.

"This baby is mine. This is a life changing thing that's happening, I can't let you ruin it too." You spoke

" I'm taking responsibility because this is something I want. Ok? Can't we find some common ground? You of all people should know what it's like to grow up without a father!"

"You know too!" You shouted back. Chris' dad had died when he was younger. He talked about him sometimes but not as much. "I'd rather have had my father six feet under then to have him choosing when it's convenient for him to show up!" You said with your foot down shaking your head.

"Forget the divorce. Me and you living here happily married for the years to come. Whats so bad about that? Why can't I have that? What's so wrong with the picture of two parents raising a child?" His voice was loud and he was getting frustrated. He didn't shout, but you could tell how passionate he was about it. He always wanted to be a daddy, a parent. "Huh?"

"It's not just about you!" You said stepping closer. "Because..." You shrugged feeling your eyes water as you suck in your cheeks. "I knew the kind of man I was marrying. So involved with his job it took him almost fifteen years to actually start dating. It's not about you or your career. This baby is all I have right now.”

He looked confused as he relaxed his brow and pinched the bridge of his nose. From two feet away you could feel his heartbeat and you felt a little bad for how foolish you probably looked. You still loved him, not like you ever stopped, but you remembered that you still loved him.

Because, it's not about me either anymore. You thought

"Forget the papers okay..." You said swallowing your own pride. "just forget it. You’re right. I want our child to have two parents who will love him unconditionally. But it has to stop, because it takes two. I can't have you with one foot in the door." You admitted

“Yeah yeah.” He nodded “yeah I get that. I’m not going anywhere.” Chris said and you walked forward and took his hand kissing his palm as you placed it on the side of your face. “I promise V.” He cups your face and stares into your eyes. His stubble poking at you a bit as you held his wrists.

“I love you.” You said with a small smile

“Still?” He laughed making you roll your eyes as you giggled a little. “I love you too. Are you sure you aren’t hungry?” He asks again

“Yes.” You nodded “now shut up and come take a nap with me.”

NOW....

CHRIS POV**

“Damnit! Damnit! Damnit!” I said throwing the phone on the couch. I had called five times and her phone went straight to voicemail.

“This is not a test, this is your Emergency Broadcast System. Announcing the commencement of the annual purge sanctioned by the U.S. Government. ALL Weapons have been authorized for use during the purge. Government officials of ranking 10 have been granted immunity and shall not be harmed. Commencing at the siren, any and all crime (including murder) will be legal for 121 days. Police, fire, and Emergency Medical services will be unavailable until December 15, 12:00 o’clock midnight, when the purge concludes. Blessed be our new founding fathers and America... A nation reborn. May God be with you all.”

My tv was replayed the message nine more times before shutting off. I swallowed the lump in my throat. Today is august 15, Vanessa’s birthday is tomorrow which was when she’d be 17 weeks. We had marked it on the calendar together. More than half my wife’s pregnancy would be spent during the purge. I needed to find her!

I didn’t support the purge. Something about killing people to be “cleansed” just didn’t sit right in my gut. It made my heart ache thinking about the clean up at the end. I could bring Dodger, but he can only do so much. Maybe he could help track her scent. Grabbing my coat I folded my lips together.

“Fuck!” I shout

With what weapon? How was I going to run the streets looking for my wife without a gun? I loved the idea of owning one, but Vanessa made me swear not to bring one in the house if she was there. So I just dropped the idea. Looking in the kitchen I grabbed one of the Chef knives off the rack. Maybe this would be enough for now...

“Damnit!” I curse looking at Dodger. “She said she was at Topanga Park. Start there?” I asked, as if he’d answer back. I grabbed her bonnet from off the bathroom door handle and stuffed it in my backpack.

I didn’t hesitate l. I locked up everything and jumped inside my truck. Dodger sat on the passenger side and I felt my hands start to shake as I put my foot on the gas. I started to promise god I would go to church if he would keep her safe.

“I don’t even know if you’re even listening or you even care. I love her, I’ve been such and idiot and I don’t wanna lose her.” I looked at Dodger and he was sitting up straight. “I remember you didn’t like her. You wouldn’t let her anywhere near me, you bark and squeeze yourself in between us when we sat down in the room to watch movies.” I chuckle wiping the little tear that slipped from my eye “You stole one of her wigs too.”

“WHAT THE FUCK!” she shouted chasing you around the house. “DODGER GIVE IT BACK! COME BACK!”

We chased him around the house and Dodger thought it was some sort of game. We had been officially dating for a month. I had started laughing when I caught him and held her headband wig in my hand. She stood their with her arms folded while I petted his head and she rolled her eyes.

"I told you he doesn't like me." She said as I stood up and she took the wig from my hand.

"Come on, he's just getting used to you."

"I've been over here every day. Your dog hates me."

"What?" I tilted my head to the side and touch her nose with my index finger. "Deal breaker? If my dog doesn't like my girlfriend, I'm gonna dump her? Tell me where that makes sense."

She walked closer to me and wrapped her arms around my waist looking up at the ceiling as I kissed her neck. "I guess you have a point." Vanessa sighed.

"He's just warming up to you that's all."

"What's stopping me from breaking up with you?"

"Over a dog?"

"This is his third assault against me. First it was tearing up my purse, then chewing up my crocs, not to mention the little shit I found inside of them. And now stealing my wig and playing cat and mouse." Said Vanessa as I rested my head on top of hers. "Luckily this is a backup wig."

“Aren’t you wearing one right now?” I asked

“Headband wig. And that wig your dog has destroyed,” she gave him the side eye “it was my favorite and expensive.” She gritted her teeth

“I’ll buy you another one.” I offered

She purses her lips and shook her head. “I don’t want you buying me anything. I’ll just break up with you. For real this time.”

"Fine then..." I baited her shrugging my shoulders. "Break up with me."

“Over a dog?” She frowns mocking me as I smile down at her and her eyebrows bend downward a little as she caressed my face. Her finger was gentle and she stood on her top toes and kissed my lips. “Never.”

...

I look over at Dodger and pat his head. "We'll find her. I know we will." I say trying to lift my spirits.

When we arrived to Topanga Park, it was a sight. I didn't even want to leave the truck. I felt my heart race a little more. "What the hell..."

In the middle of traffic-in between the cars were bodies. Dodger started barking at the train of blood that stained the streets. It was empty, but I could feel a heavy weight on my back. Walking behind me, next to me...it was all around me. I hadn't realized I had my hand over my mouth an nose, it was hard for me to breath as the stench of dead bodies. Dodger kept barking and that led to me chasing after him. I had her bonnet in one hand and I called after him.

I came to a halt when I came face to face with another person. He had Dodger in his hands and I felt my muscle tense up. He was tall and very familiar looking. I swallowed the lump in my throat and held the kitchen knife in my hand with a firm grip.

"Captain America?"

I tilted my head sideways and licked my lower lip narrowing my brow a little. "Yeah, give me the dog and we can go our separate ways. Ok?"

He nodded his head. He ran his fingers through his hair and put the dog down. I wasn't really concerned about who he was I was trying to prepare for a fight. He dropped his gun on the ground and held up his his hand.

"I'm not going to kill you. I'm looking for my wife." He said "She left her watch in that building." He pointed to the school and slowly pulled the watch from his pocket.

"In there?" I asked

"Yeah." He nodded, but I still couldn't shake the feeling I knew him from somewhere. "My name is Jared. My wife's name is Gianne, I'm pretty sure she was with someone else-are you looking for someone too? Maybe we could help each other. There was something written on the chalkboard in there, I wasn't something Gia would write, but she was here. All I wanna do is find her-"

"Supernatural?" I asked turning my head to the side. Vanessa loved that show. Whenever she had spare time she would watch it or on those many night she'd spend the night at my house we would watch it-well not really watch it. The Netflix and 'chill' was emphasized. "You said something about some sort of message on the wall?" I asked motioning with my hand. "what did it say?"

"um, CE equals BE or something like that." He shrugged

I laughed a little. Vanessa Evans plus Chris Evans equals Baby Evans. It was a stupid joke-an Easter egg if you will. Shonda put in the show on the whiteboard in one of our love scenes as a way to announce our pregnancy to the audience. She often left clues to the next episode in every episode except this one was not only in the show but in real life.

"Chris Evans." I say extending my hand out to him. I'm pretty sure he knew by the little smile playing on his face. He shook my hand and nodded his head.

"I know. I'm a big marvel fan, I know all your lines." Jared chuckled and then cleared his throat as he nervously laughed. "Nice to meet you. I'm Jared Padalecki - I know I said that already..."

I introduced him to Dodger and I felt a little more relaxed. I gathered that she was alive and we both came to the assumption that they were traveling together.

"Where do you think their headed?" I asked as we walked to his car which was tricked out and full of ammunition and guns. Not to mention government level protective gear.

"While I was in there, I picked up someone else. Heavy footed and big, traveling with dogs. Hair everywhere." He went on tossing me a bullet proof vest. "You heard of Sanctuary?"

"The safety place? Yeah, but it's hard to find. It's for people who get caught in the Purge right?"

He narrowed his brow and shook his head. "No." Said Jared sharply. "Sanctuary is a secret government funded task force. It started off as a conspiracy some myth to explain all the random disappearances throughout the year. It's a government project designed for population control." He went on

"Ok...what does that have anything to do with the Purge?"

"Everything. An organization designed to control the US population. We're talking Pro killers who were once on a leash, but when that horn sounded and the Purge began, they are just as free to kill anyone they want." Said Jared handing me an ipad. It was a list of celebrities. From pro athletes like Steph Curry and their immediate families to movie stars and singers like Rhianna and Tom Cruise. "There are rumors that they are hunting celebrities. The kardashians and Jenner's are fair game. If not the stars themselves then they choose their parents, brothers and sisters."

"And do what?" I asked quietly as I saw mine and Vanesssa picture

"Most get auctioned off to the highest bidder, I've also heard they kill them on the spot for money or bring them in to fight for the death. Bottom line, there is a bounty on our heads. During the Purge everyone is fair game, their is no protection."

"You're telling me she's out there being hunted by them right now?" I asked

“Possibly. The dog hair isn’t a breed we know. They are a combination of hunting canines, bloodhound, foxhound, Labrador retriever with the built and aggression of a something like a pit bull a Rottweiler.” Said Jared as I looked up from the iPad and gave it back. “You’re gonna need more than a kitchen knife. We find the dogs and the hunter and we’ll find them.”

He held a gun out to me and wiped my mouth with the palm of my hand trying to mentally prepare for what is to come."

“Do you believe in the Purge?” I asked still questioning why his car was full of weapons. “You kill people?”

He nodded his head. “Yes. I don’t believe in hiding or waiting for someone to kill me. We all have the right to Purge."

"What's stopping you from killing me?"

Jared sighed and shook his head. "I'm hunting them. I'm surviving and if you decide to threaten my survival, then I'll kill you." He went over to the driver side of his Ford charger. "Get in. Knowing Gia she is headed for Roberts hole."

"What's that?" I asked climbing in the passenger seat of the car.

“It’s a Cassino for celebrities. Jack Black owns it. It’s locked up right but open to his favorites during the Purge.”

“They’ll be there?”

“Relax.” He out his hand in my shoulder and looked at me as dodger sat in the back seat. “We will find them. You know how to shoot don’t you?” Jared raised his gun in the air and nodded my head.

I guess it wasn’t confidently and he chuckled. “Vanessa isn’t a fan of guns.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll practice. Ok?”

.

.

.

.

.

A/N: Sorry it took so long😬 don’t hate me, please. Lol, I hope everyone is doing well and safe out here. If you wanna be tagged leave it in the ask box, Anyways…Untill next time!

Tags!

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@pm-my-hubbies

@Cynthetic

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[justasimplesinner]

Is it cool if I request headcanons for arkhamverse bane and croc (not poly), mad mod with an s/o that loves to draw/crochet and play video games?

i'm writing this drunk as fuck so sorry in advance if it's complete nonsense

Arkhamverse!Bane with a handiwork maker/gamer hcs:

he's honestly not much of a creative guy, but he can appreciate honest work. and he thinks you're so cute when you're all focused on crocheting or dirtied up with paint as you create yet another masterpiece. despite the whole thing not being quite his cuppa tea, he's supportive of what you do and appreciates that you've taken up such a hobby. and he may not be really interested in learning it, even if you're the teacher, but he's incredibly fond of having you lay on his chest or just sit in his lap as you crochet or sketch. that way, he gets to be close to you and watch you work, and you're free to do what you like while also spending time with him

the situation is pretty similar with gaming - he's not all that into it. why play sports on the screen when you can do it in real life or just watch a game? however, if you ever taught him how to play, he'd actually find it quite fun to play sports games, especially if you two can play against each other. it's not that he's hella competitive, he just finds it hilarious how invested and animated you get further into the game. when it comes to other games, he'd prefer to just watch you play through all of them. he has to admit, some games have beautiful graphics and even better plots with lots of side quests. and, yet again, if you chose to use him as your personal pillow, he'd be more than happy to accomodate you

Arkhamverse!Croc with a handiwork maker/gamer hcs:

he's not familiar with neither crocheting nor painting. of course, he did draw some things as a kid, but he was never really talented or appreciated for it, so he stopped pretty soon. but he's surprisingly curious to watch how you do it. he likes watching your hands while you're crocheting, they're hypnotizing for him. and it always brings him back to that time you made him a scarf for winter and sprayed it with your perfume so he'd feel like you were there with him even when you were away. and, despite grumbling and protesting weakly, he adores when you make him paint with you. he's not really good at it, and he mostly uses his hands because holding a small brush between his claws is pretty hard, but it's great bonding time for the two of you. he loves that he can just let loose and splash some paint on canvas. and he will get shy (although his idea of getting shy is turning his head away and grumbling under his nose) if you decided to paint/sketch him

when it comes to games, he's kinda on the fence - on one hand, he always wanted the computers/consoles other kids had as a child, so he could play and have fun too but was too poor, but on the other, it's quite literally impossible for him to operate on a controller/keyboard because of his size, and he gets frustrated. so, he settles for curling around you and serving as your personal couch and watching you play. he mostly just falls asleep during those times tho. but he gets to have you in his arms and you can indulge in your hobbies, so what more is there to want?

Mad Mod with a handiwork maker/gamer hcs:

oh, this motherfucker would be so into crocheting. he absolutely adores fashion and everything involving it, and he will gladly crochet with you. he'll make a lot of clothes designs and have you help him figure out how to make it. it's surprisingly fun, and he's very patient, so he can sit with you for hours. and he's also quite the art conessieur! the second he learns you paint, he'll drag you to his favourite art galleries and take you to shows, he'll sit with you as you paint and talk with you, even be your muse! he'll gladly help you in any way he can. and he will absolutely get flustered if you actually decide to sketch him. he has a surprisingly low self-esteem for someone so proud and full of himself, and it really warms his heart that you think him so handsome and noteworthy you decide to include him in your art

and about gaming, despite his old age, he's into it. i mean, c'mon, you've seen the shit he's done in Teen Titans, it's like he created his own virtual reality. he likes to break apart all the mechanics and everything behind the game, study the coding and graphics. it's kinda his shtick. and he can always appreciate a good plot. he doesn't play much tho, and even when he does, he kinda sorta sucks dick at it, for some reason. it's not that he doesn't know how to use a keyboard/controller, he himself is not even sure what it is, but he can't for the life of him win a single match. it doesn't matter what you're playing. but he still likes playing with you, despite getting frustrated sometimes. and he loves that you don't laugh at him because of his failures. so yeah, despite everything, this old man can still have fun

[wasabito]

had so much fun writing for my baby boy tendou, so here’s my entry for the hqhq sfw server collab! be sure to check out the rest on the masterlist found here! enjoy ✨

words: 3.0k

prompt: “you woke me up at 3am for this?”

synopsis: your neighbor is ridiculous, kind of annoying and little bit on the weird side, but you wouldn’t have him any other way.

You had to be the biggest idiot on the planet—an obvious exaggeration, yes, but you were still inclined to believe it was true. 

How else could you explain the feeling of being so utterly fed up with one’s actions like this? Were there enough words in the dictionary to describe just how exhausted you were by your own antics, more specifically, your forgetfulness since that’s what had landed you in a world of pain and embarrassment?

The answer was no.

You sat with your back pressed against your front door, head in your hands and chin tucked between your raised knees and chest. At your side was your wallet along with stacks of newspapers, coupons and whatever else had been stuffed in your mailbox, bills probably. Advertisements too. Honestly, it was hard to be happy about a new restaurant opening up down the block when you were currently stuck—locked out of your apartment to be precise.

The landlord of your cheap little complex wasn’t expected to be back for another hour according to the sign posted outside of his office. So until then, you’d remain posted up by your doorstep like some loiterer. 

You shifted in place and blew a puff of air from your lips, feeling little pinpricks in your legs. For the fifth time in the last forty-five minutes you felt like kicking yourself, hard.

The sun hung low, nearly touching the distant horizon signifying the end of another day. Even the sky was painted a warm umber, casting dim shadows.

“Locked out, huh?” came a snide, but accented voice.

It took you way longer than necessary to realize that suddenly you weren’t the only person on this floor. God, where was your head at?

A pair of forest green crocs stood before you, complete with a few odd charms and trinkets. A cartoon volleyball, pinned next to a smiley face, a donut and a gaudy “i heart paris” chain dangling from the ankle strap. A person’s shoes could say a lot about who they were...your mother thought so, at least.

Resisting the urge to projectile vomit all over this stranger’s rather questionable taste in footwear, your wary gaze panned upward, glossing over white tube socks and a pair of the longest legs you’ve ever seen on a person—yet another exaggeration. You came face to face with a crooked smile. Curious ruby eyes returned your stare with almost the same amount of scrutiny.

Who the hell was this guy?

Mystery-man easily towered over you, and not only because you were hunched over and sitting. He was tall as hell, all lanky build, gangly arms and legs disguising lithe muscle and a surprisingly sturdy frame. He looked like the i-run-every-morning type; semi-athletic at the very least. His buzzed hair was the color of cinnamon, no that wasn’t right, paprika maybe? Either way, it contrasted sharply with the paleness of his skin, so much so that you could see the faint blue of the veins in his arms.

“Yoohooo, anybody hooome?” He tilted his head at you.

“Huh? Oh uh, yeah, I’m locked out. I forgot my key inside and Mr. Laurent won’t be back until later.”

“Hmm. That sucks...”

“...Um… do I… do I know you or something? You look a little familiar.”

He pinned you with a funny look, before pulling out a set of keys from the back pocket of his shorts.

“Maybe you do, maybe you don’t~ I mean we are neighbors, after all.” Laughing as if he’d made some sort of joke, he entered his apartment with a twirl and a dramatic wave of his arms.

You stared at his door for a solid minute, only to finally succumb to your urges and facepalm at your own idiocy. Of course he looked familiar, how could he not when he literally lived four feet away.

With a sigh of resignation, you braced yourself for another hour spent sitting outside your front door. It wasn’t like there was any other place you could go or anyone you could call. The battery icon on your phone blinked red, warning that it was soon to run out of juice. Guess that meant no Among Us or Subway Surfer for you.

Five minutes later, the door next to you opened. It was Mystery-man again, but this time, he sat in front of his door, just like you were. And he did so with a bag of pretzels and a jar of nutella in hand.

“Must be bored out here by yourself.” He crunched on a pretzel before offering you the bag to take some. “Don’t worry, I’ll keep ya company.”

You weren’t sure why, but there was something about this guy that intrigued you. You half-wondered if it was the funny little curl of his smile, or the wideness of his eyes that made it seem like he was looking at all of you, all at once. 

"You must be pretty bored...uh,"

"Satori Tendou, but most people call me Tendou. Miracle boy works just fine too."

"Right... Tendou, as I was saying, you must be incredibly bored to come sit out here with me. You sure you don't have anything important to do?"

Tendou's grinned widened. "Positive! And it costs me nothing to be neighborly, so don't even sweat it."

That was...nice of him?

If sitting outside with you was the way he wanted to spend his late Tuesday afternoon who were you to deny him? And truthfully, you didn't mind the company, at least not really. Provided this guy wasn't some creepy-stalker-weirdo, you were sure there wasn't any harm in getting to know the person who lived one door over.

"So, Tendou, how long have you lived in the area? You don't really look like you're from around here...I could be wrong."

Tendou raised a thin brow at you. "Weeeell, if you're asking about how long I've lived next door, it would be about three maybe four months give or take, but if you're asking how long I've lived in Paris, it would be a year next month. Speaking of, I think Semisemi has a birthday coming up..."

You watched as he pulled out his cell phone and tapped away at the illuminated glass screen. You couldn't help but notice the goofy little anime stickers on his phone case. One in particular caught your attention.

“Is that...Kirara? From Inuyasha??”

“Oho! So, you recognize this?”

Backtracking, you mumble out, “Ah, well…only a little.” Though your face was turned away, the tiny smile on your lips was not hidden from Tendou and he thought you were pretty cute.

Funnily enough, what you had expected to be a rather unnerving and possibly creepy exchange turned out to be anything but. Tendou was incredibly fun to talk to—a bit teasing and a little overwhelming with his superfluous hand movements and gestures. But he was funny and a lot kinder that you would’ve given him credit for.

You learned that he was originally from Japan; it explained his accented French. He had come to Paris right out of high school to study culinary arts in one of the most renowned countries for it. Now he worked as a chocolatier, under the tutelage of a master patisserie in the city, an older man who was both a creative genius and a thorn in Tendou’s side. Tendou spoke of his teacher with equal parts awe and annoyance. 

And he got to know you too. How you’d found yourself in Paris, thousands of miles away from home in an effort to rediscover yourself in the city full of rich history and culture. 

You didn’t have many friends here, and it truly was a pleasure to make his acquaintance.

Soon, you both heard the telltale sound of jangling keys as your landlord rounded the corner with his clipboard in hand. Once you were able to get your door open, you waved a goodbye to Tendou.

“Thanks for keeping me company, you really didn’t have to.”

“No biggie, it was fun!” He threw a mischievous little grin and a peace-sign over his shoulder and reentered his apartment. 

You found yourself wanting to cross paths with him again, and hopefully in better circumstances. But you hadn't known your wishful thinking was soon to manifest as you ambled through grocery store aisles a week later, eyeing down any items with pictures on it.

“Why in the hell is this toilet paper so expensive.” You mumbled.

“So, you complain about the price of toilet paper, but wear sneakers that cost two-thirds our rent.” That voice sounded familiar, and after hearing it for about an hour just days ago, you were a bit surprised you could recognize it so quickly. 

Stunned, you looked up to find Satori Tendou, your quirky neighbor with an arm full of pita chips, a milk carton, and baby carrots.

“I never said I made the best choices.” You found yourself smiling despite the previous crease in your brow. “...Dude, get a cart before you drop everything.”

Instead of getting his own, he simply dumped what he had into your cart with a teasing grin. You couldn’t argue with his logic there. Tendou sidled up against you, once again towering over you with a kind of ease that should be criminal. “Need help reading something?”

You wanted to say no. You almost said no. But swallowing your pride, you gave a weak nod. “Yeah, this word right here.” Pointing to the unfamiliar script printed on the label. “What the heck is this?”

“Weeeeell, looks like that brand is scented, ya know, for when ya—”

“Don’t bother finishing that sentence...please.”

You quickly grab what you need and continue on down the aisle with Tendou following closely behind.

Just like when you’d first met him, he made conversation the entire way. By the time you both made it to the cash registers, you’d argued at least three times over french pronunciations and whether cashews were the cousin of peanuts.

And just as last time, he left you with a grin and a peace-sign while you stared after his retreating back, paid groceries in hand.

After an entire day spent baking, you found yourself on Tendou’s doorstep with a tupperware full of baked goodies later the next evening. You had been meaning to thank him for being such a good neighbor to you. It was certainly unexpected, but a welcome gesture nonetheless.

You only had to knock twice before the door was wrenched open and you were greeted with the set of...vanilla? Some pop song played in the background while your neighbor looked at you curiously.

"H-Hey Tendou, I um...I baked you these." You held out the plastic container, hoping he'd simply take it from you without question and you could return to your apartment without somehow embarrassing yourself. "There's a little bit of everything in there, oatmeal raisin, chocolate chip, macadamia nut—wait you aren't allergic to anything, right?"

"Nooope! Not a thing, thanks neighbor!"

"It was no problem, especially since you've helped me, not once but twice now."

Frowning, you couldn't help but be a little upset with yourself. You'd come to France to prove that you could, in fact, live a normal life outside of your family’s jurisdiction but day by day you were proving to need them more and more. 

It was disappointing, to say the least.

"Hmm, what’s with the constipated look on your face. Did the toilet paper not help?” Tendou tilted his head at you with a teasing grin, lips curled at the edges, taunting. You blinked up at him, surprised, and if you were honest, a little annoyed too. 

"Hah?!"

"Just thought it was worth a mention, nighty-night~!"

Tendou proceeded to shut the door on you; one hand rested on the frame and the other held on to the cookies. You quickly took a step back lest he chop your entire arm off, ready to trudge off in the direction of your own home but not before sticking your tongue out at him.

Stupid Tendou, always saying stupid shit. 

You were on the couch, half asleep when it dawned on you that it had been his own twisted, “Tendou” way of cheering you up. 

The rest of the month passed just like that. Occasionally, you would bump into Tendou at the grocery store, or the leasing office, or even the laundromat. And every single time, he’d either make you laugh until your sides hurt or annoyed enough to want to give him a friendly punch. At one point, you two had even exchanged phone numbers, because according to Tendou “it was ridiculous not to have your friends on speedial” which only led to hours spent on Facetime or playing iMessage games.

You knew exchanging numbers would come back to bite you in the ass, it was only a matter of when.

It was clear you weren’t going to any sleep tonight, that was for sure. The incessant buzzing of your cell phone every five minutes was an enemy to your circadian rhythm. You could name on one hand those in your contacts with enough sense to know that you lived in a completely different time zone from them now.

Somehow your neighbor was the very last person you suspected, but it was his contact photo that stared back at you, goofy looking grin and all. You squinted against the brightness of your screen in your otherwise dark bedroom.

you up?

come quick

gotta show ya somethin

come oooon

you're awake, i know you are

It took you less than a minute to shuffle on a pair of slippers, grab your keys (you weren't going to forget them this time) and slip out of your apartment.

You hadn't even knocked twice before the door was pulled open. Tendou looked a mess, more so than usual. Unidentified stains littered the apron looped around his thin waist, streaks of what you hoped were just flour and granulated sugar were all over his hands. You almost wanted to ask if he was baking or dealing dope.

“You woke me up at three in the morning...for this?”

“Yuuup!”

"When I said you could call me at any time, I really didn’t mean any time.” You scratch your side, a contemplative look on your face at the sight of Tendou in what you would assume to be his pajamas. An old volleyball hoodie with the words "Shirazorizawa" printed across the front, and old sweats the were so obviously cut with scissors at the knee.

Rolling your eyes, you mumbled a curt, “Alright, move aside.”

Tendou ushered you over to his kitchen where several of his cooking supplies laid on the island, along with a tray of some chocolate dessert spread.

“It’s all still in the testing phase, but I think I’m onto something here.”

He was definitely giving off “mad scientist” vibes. You tried not to snort.

Holding a small chocolate cake in his hand, he smiled, a genuine smile this time. "Open wide."

You obeyed, far too tired to argue, and let him pop the treat into your mouth. Tendou watched as you chewed, as if it were the most interesting thing ever. His wide gaze carefully took in every shift in your expression.

"So? Whaddya think?"

"I...," You chewed a bit more. "...It's delicious! Is that—"

"—Pistachio, why yes it is!" 

Tendou was practically bouncing on his feet with excitement. "It takes the entire thing to a whole new level."

You had to agree with him there. This was probably the best chocolate madeleine you'd ever tasted. "Great work, miracle boy. Will you be introducing this new recipe to Claude?"

Mentioning his teacher seemed to sober him up a bit. "Ehh, maybe? The old man's a bit of traditionalist, so I'll just have to figure out a way to get him to approve."

"Maybe try calling him at three in the morning?" 

Tendou stuck his tongue out at you before popping a dessert in his mouth. The pure delight on his face was so contagious, you found yourself smiling just the same. You couldn’t help but admire his passion.

“Hey, Tendou… do you like your job?”

He blinked at you, chewing coming to a slow halt. “Well of course! The pay isn’t the best just yet, but it’s a labor of love. I’m willing to put my all into it at least.”

“Huh… that’s pretty cool.” You wiped your fingers on a nearby rag. “I hope to feel the same one day… if I can figure out what I wanna do.”

“Why not bake? You’re pretty good at it.”

“Oh am I? Last week you said my baking needed some work.”

“Well, duh, but my standards when it comes to confectionaries are impossibly high. Even so, I think you’d be successful as a baker. What’s stopping you from pursuing your labor of love?”

And that was the thing with Tendou. He talked a lot, teased even more, but it was never idle ramblings. Somehow, he always seemed to hit right at the heart of the issue with almost painfully uncomfortable accuracy.

“I don’t really know so…” You looked away, trailing off.

“Either way,” he said and placed a finger under your chin, raising your head until you were looking him in the eye. “I’m rooting for you.”

For a moment, you simply stared, awestruck. It was the first time in a long while someone was actually putting their faith in you, believing in you. He had come blazing into your life unabashed with his easy grins and gaze alight with mischief. His encouraging words, sincerity, sensitivity. Tendou was really incredible.

“Tendou…” You took his hand in yours, squeezing it. “Thanks. For everything.”

“Of course, what are neighbors for.”

BONUS:

Three months later you sat curled up next to Tendou on his sofa, his entire apartment smelled of chocolate cocoa with hints of cinnamon.

Before you was an application. Culinary school.

“You really think I can do this?”

Tendou placed his head on your shoulder with a tiny smirk. “One hundred and twenty percent!”

You pondered for a moment, then decided that if he thought you were up for the challenge then you’d believe him.

“For the record, you probably aren’t supposed to recommend your girlfriend for an interview. You know, conflict of interest and all.”

Tendou laughed and pulled you closer. “Trust me, we’ll be fine, so don’t worry your pretty little head, ‘kay?”

[kiribakuficrecs]

hello!!! im going on a very long trip at the end of april and I'm looking for some very long fics to download to keep me entertained! i dont care what they're about as long as there's no major character death or mentions of non-con. ur blog is a godsend ilysm and you do such a good job thank you so much 🙏

hi there!! i definitely have a lot of good lengthy fics i can recommend to you!

quote love unquote by newamsterdam 

Sero nods. “It’s the chance of a lifetime, really,” he says. “We want you to date Bakugou, for the sake of his reputation with the press. Some public appearances, a few ‘candid’ photos. For at least a couple of months.”

“Bakugou sent you to ask me to date him?” Kirishima asks, baffled.

“Of course not. We, his people, are asking you to date him. He’s going to have to get on board, if he wants his career to survive. And in the bargain, Riot will get all sorts of publicity, because their lyricist will be dating one of the industry’s hottest stars. A win for everyone.”

When Kirishima Eijirou's band hits the big time, he's not prepared for his newfound fame. He's even less prepared to meet the actor he's been crushing on for years, or to start dating him as a publicity stunt. The closer Kirishima gets to Bakugou Katsuki, the more he realizes he's in over his head. But it's hard to stop, once his heart is in it.

acceptance and denial by poteto

It all goes okay when Kirishima decides to come out to his friends and it all goes wrong when decides that Bakugou is the best fake boyfriend material.

cause the darks not taking prisoners tonight by imatrisarahtops

“Are those soba noodles?” Kirishima asked.

Again Bakugou’s only reply was a grunt. He offered no further explanation—not that Kirishima honestly expected one—as though making soba noodles from scratch at half past four in the morning wasn’t at all a bizarre occurrence and made complete and total sense. For a fleeting moment, Kirishima even wondered if maybe he was the odd one here. Besides, he’d already decided it was generally not in his best interest to question these types of things with Bakugou, especially when it was something essentially harmless.

When Kirishima has a nightmare and is unable to fall back asleep, he accepts defeat and decides to study in the common area of the dorms. What he doesn't expect to find is Bakugou, also very much awake, and Kirishima can't help but think that maybe they're both having the same problems with sleeping. If he's worried, it's just because they're friends. (Right?)

the weight of your hand by kamin

That night, to the citizens, the explosions were a jolt of fear at every blast, but to the heroes and the students of UA, they were punches and swings, fierce fighting and loud strength. The explosions were the pulse of the battle, and the power of a boy that would never back down.

One after another, explosions set a chorus through the shuddering city.

And then, suddenly—the explosions stopped.

(In which Bakugou’s kidnapping goes a little differently, and just a few seconds could change so much.)

so take my hand (your life will be brighter) by multiclassmaps

When a stranger shows up at the ice rink during Bakugou's usually private training sessions, Bakugou expects to hate him. He doesn't expect to develop feelings that become increasingly difficult to deny, or for them to help each other sort through their emotional baggage. - Bakugou really didn't like Kirishima's smile. There was something about it that made his stomach hurt, something about it that made it difficult to focus. He definitely hadn't thought about that smile on his way to the ice rink that day. He definitely hadn't.

distance makes the heart grow fonder (false) by dragontrappedinhumanskin

When Bakugo and Kirishima get hit by a quirk that forces them to literally stick together or face the less then desirable consequences, how the fuck is Bakugo supposed to keep his crush hidden?! Well, turns out he never needed to.

-- “Well, this fucking sucks, how are we supposed to train?!” "Really closely?"

perihelion by tauontauoff

Bakugou was a comet, blazing out of reach. Kirishima knew he was stupidly lucky that his furious trajectory went by close enough that his fingertips got to graze the cowl of fire. It was enough.

During Christmas Class 1A and 1B spend a laid-back week learning about extreme environment hero work in the Alps. Kirishima was used to keeping part of his feelings for Bakugou hidden, and had every intention of keeping it that way, but things don't always go according to plan.

fight me by mr_todoroki

Bright red, spiky hair. Annoyingly bright smile. Clothes that radiate ‘look at me’ vibes. Neon yellow tank top with black shorts. And those were definitely crocs on his fucking feet.

Yeah, Katsuki hated this guy.

-

Bakugou gets a new roommate.

quietly by chezka

“We’ve been taking the same way to and from school for weeks,” Kirishima grinned, and then when Bakugou frowned at him he put on an affected pout, tilted his head so that he was looking at him through his thick, long lashes, “you never noticed? Am I that easy to miss?”

He could barely finish the sentence before a laugh escaped his lips, and Bakugou rolled his eyes, hit him with a shoulder a little more violently than necessary.

“You stick out like a sore thumb, broom-head,” he grumbled, promptly ignoring Kirishima's whining about his hairstyle when it started coming, “I didn’t notice ‘cause I didn’t care.”

“And now you do?”

everyone knows that cats are independent by purplepersnickety

Eijirou enjoys his job, working the graveyard shift at a 24/7 coffee shop. His daemon Riot is always there to keep him company, and he likes meeting the early-morning patrons and giving them the best possible kick-start to their day. It's been his routine for about a year now.

Then one day, a grouchy guy with a daemon in the form of a lion walks into the shop in the dead of night, and Eijirou decides to strike up a conversation with him.

punks not dead by wrunic

“So you want to use me to piss off your mom?” Kirishima summarized, raising one pierced eyebrow at Katsuki.

“Look, if you want to be all fucking judgy about it, I take cash,” Katsuki said, dropping his hand palm up on the table.

“Hey now,” Kirishima said, raising his hands in surrender, “I didn’t say I wasn’t doing it. I’m always down for a little chaos.” He flashed a grin, showing off his ridiculous shark teeth.

“Good,” Katsuki said. “We start tomorrow."

sent, delivered, read, loved by kiribakuhappiness

Kirishima E. [6.49pm]: ur okay for such an angry dude bakugou! :)

Bakugou K. [7.12pm]: FUCK YOU!

Kirishima E. [7.14pm]: haha! :D ttyl!

Bakugou K. [7.48pm]: FUCKING WHAT DO THOSE DUMB LETTERS MEAN???

Bakugou K. [7.52pm]: I JUST LOOKED IT UP DONT FUCKING TALK TO ME LATER!

Bakugou K. [7.52pm]: STOP TXTING ME!!!

- OR -

Bakugou's and Kirishima's relationship develops from classmates to friends to more, as told through their text conversations.

flicker by mr_todoroki

He was starting to feel depressed. Life was so uninteresting. It was so mundane and forgettable. He had no one to hang out with besides Kota, his family didn’t even live in the city.

He grew his hair out as some sort of rebellion, some sort of stand to make his life the slightest bit more interesting. But he could already feel himself giving in to the pressure of cutting it. He needed to work to live. Without a job, he’d truly have nothing.

OR

Kirishima never applied to UA, therefore never became a hero.

let’s get down to business by kjelfalconer

Katsuki Bakugou, one of the brightest rising stars on wall street, is in need of a new personal assistant. Again. Could Eijirou Kirishima finally be the one to last more than two months?

Katsuki's long suffering HR department sure hope so.

something about us by bigstupidjellyfish

nothing like being in highschool and having no idea how to deal with emotions

fireproof by inkbender

Four years after a classmate nobody seems to remember is kidnapped by the League of Villains, Kirishima drags an amnesiac hobo he found washed up on the beach into his apartment, attempts to teach him how to adult (with varying degrees of success), and discovers along the way that the line between heroism and villainy is quite fine indeed. Plot-divergent after episode 45, the Forest Training Camp arc.

blood riot by magicallee (alternatively)

Kirishima from a universe with no quirks is mind-swapped with an alternate universe version of himself where there are superpowers.

And in that universe he’s a super villain.

And Bakugou is the superhero who caught Evil-Kirishima and put him in prison.

blindside by drowclericpelor

“You’re the first guy friend I’ve had that I can just like, be friends with. You’re either the most unthirstiest boy ever...” Camie shrugged and made another wobbly illusion appear between her hands. It looked like a sparkly rainbow with the word ‘friendship’ beneath it, accompanied by what Bakugou assumed was supposed to be a twinkling sound effect, but it had a tinny quality to it and sounded far away. “...or I just ain’t got the kinda straw you like to ssssip.”

Carefully, Bakugou considered the strange turn this conversation had taken.

He had never been asked, point blank, if he was gay before. And he honestly had never thought about how he would respond. Lying about himself didn’t sit right with him. But he’d always wanted to wait until he was the number one hero - when he stood above everyone else - before coming out. Though he’d had times when he’d thought about doing it before then and had almost gone through with it once. But being the number one hero came first. It wouldn’t matter what people would say about it then as long as he’d risen to the top.

Bakugou knew his lack of a response would give Camie all the answers she needed.

flour power by wingsonghalo

“I’m telling you now, Shitty Hair,” the blonde growled, “I am not gonna play house with you. We will cart this stupid flour around for a week like the assignment says. But some of our idiot classmates are naming the thing and setting up ‘playdates’ and dressing it and I am not doing anything that stupid. Got it?”

Kirishima and Bakugou are paired up to take care of a flour sack for a week. It would be so simple, except nothing with Bakugou is ever simple. Also Kirishima might be kinda sorta completely head over heels for him.

sunchaser by chonideno

that feeling when you suddenly want to jump off a cliff for no reason but instead of a cliff it’s your best friend and instead of jumping it’s growing feelings out of nowhere

or how Bakugou has to try really hard not to throw everything to the wind, and Kirishima doesn't help

i also have a tag specifically for fics that reach somewhere between 30k-70k words long if you wanted to check that out as well! i hope you enjoy the fics here and that i was able to help, ily enjoy your trip!!! :D 

[thr-333]

Drastic Measures- Part 11

@daminette-december2019-2020

~Snow globe~

Gabriel: Nathalie why haven't you canceled my card?! Nathalie: oh were you going to use that to pay my pay rise for moving to a different continent or to pay my last 6 years of overtime? Gabriel: Nathalie- Nathalie: You’re welcome to do it yourself sir. Gabriel:....... I can’t do anything without you can I? Nathalie: No you cant and make sure to remember that next pay day.

Ao3

First < Previous  > Next

------------

“So why are we here?” Damian asks getting dragged around the mall by the two.

“Because if we’re decorating the pet stores we need inspiration,” Marinette holds him by his elbow in case he tries to escape again, “And Adrien's having fun,”

“Why don’t we just hire someone for that?”

“I haven't found a good babysitter yet,” Marinette smiles as she knows Damian glares at her, “The style of the store is the most important thing, it’s what people interact with the most and a representation of our company,”

“Tt,” Marinette smiles knowing she won. 

They follow Adrien into an incredibly overpriced knick-knacks store, exactly what they’re looking for. She jots down notes in her book looking at the glasswork on the figurines or the beautifully painted porcelain.

“I think every store should have the same color coordination for each section,” Marinette suggests writing down a potential palette based on the plates she was looking at, “So people always know where to find something no matter the store,”

“How many people do you think are going to multiple stores?” Damian scoffs.

“We will be, besides its a decorative thing, a bit of paint on the wall or shelf, hm maybe each section should have a range of shades to keep it from being too samey,”

“I take it you’re in charge of this part now?”

“Guess so,” Marinette hums looking over the shelves for more inspiration, Adrien looking over a large glass sculpture that she may have to talk him out of buying, “So did you talk to Adrien?”

“Oh no,” Damian catches her attention, “He talked I was expected to listen,”

“So you make any decisions?” She spots a little china doll on a high shelf.

“I’m not going to run away if that’s what you’re asking,” Damian reaches over her grabbing the doll before she knocks over shelves trying to jump up and reach it.

“But If you were-”

“I’m not,” Damian hands the doll over.

“But if you were,” He gives her a withered glare, “Where would you go?”

“… Somewhere I can paint I suppose,” He says after some consideration.

“That's a start!” Marinette exclaims, almost dropping the doll.

“I can paint anywhere,” Damian catches it before she can.

“Ah,” They go back to pursuing the shelves, Damian taking it upon himself to hold the delicate decorations for some reason.

“... Where would you go?” He asks eventually, Marinette tries to keep the smile to herself as to not scare him off.

“I used to think I’d like to go somewhere with lots of snow,”

“Is that so?” Damian hums consideringly.

“Yeah but then I came here and realized the cold sucks,” Marinette's jaw actually drops as Damian laughs, not a snort or a scoff and actual chuckle! “Hollll- did you just laugh?! Did I just get you to laugh!? Are there cameras around?! Do you think they’ll let me keep the footage?!”

“Calm down,” Damian places a hand on her head to stop her bouncing,  “Besides I think your friend is about to make a ludicrous purchase,”

“Adrien!” Marinette snaps as he tries to pay for a glass sculpture twice his size, “Can it fit on the back of a motorcycle?!”

“.... no,” Adrien hangs his head like a toddler being told off.

“Then put it down!” Marinette chides dragging him away from the sculpture and out of the store. She already had to fit three on them on hers. Damian is lagging behind, Marinette resigns herself to having to drag them both through the mall like children when he finally catches up.

“Here take this,” She startles a snow globe in a clear box being pressed into her hands, “Now you can look at the snow without getting cold,”

“That's so nice,” She bites down on the follow-up question of where the hell is Damian and what did you do with him.

“No, it’s bribery,” Ah there he is, “Don’t tell anyone I laughed,”

“So you admit you laughed,” Marinette smirks, letting Adrien go look at different stores.

“Besides,” Damian sharply changes the topic, “If you want to see the snow so badly just stay inside a cabin or something,”

“Well maybe you can come with me,” Marinette hums looking at the snowflakes fall over a winter forest, two little people by a campfire, “I bet it would be beautiful to paint,”

“Maybe so,” Damian agrees before giving her a side look, “Also you’re a horrible influence,”

“Who me? It’s not like I gave you the idea to run away,” He had come to her with that all on his own.

“No you didn’t,” Damian easily agrees, walking along with Marinette.

“Well if you’re still in the rebellion mood why don’t you join the pink hair squad?”

“I am not dying my hair pink,” Damian rolls his eyes.

“Just a little bit?” Marinette steps in front of him walking backward.

“No,” Damian brushes past her, Marinette lets him go ahead.

“Adrien I just had the best idea,” Marinette turns to her side where Adrien is not. Marinette looks behind her spotting Adrien in the crowd- getting picked up and carried away by a stranger! “ADRIEN!”

Damian hears her shout bolting forward. Grabbing a baton he apparently had the whole time. 

“Damian, watch out! They might have feelings!” Damian actually stops in his tracks, turning back to glare at her.

“...”

“...”

“Hey guys,” Adrien speaks up, “I’m kind of being kidnapped,”

“Right!” Marinette wipes the grin off her face, punching the kidnapper right on the jaw. He drops Adrien who lands on his feet, “Do I need a child leash for you young man?”

“Please don’t my Father had one of those for me,” Adrien brushes himself off as the kidnapped stumbles to the ground.

“Weren’t you never allowed out of the house?” Marinette asks as Damian steps forward to pull the kidnapper's arms behind their back.

“Exactly,”

“Not that this isn't riveting,” Damian says in the most bored tone, turning to the kidnapped, “Who hired you?”

“Garbeil Agreste sent me to fetch his son,”

“Yeah, here we call that kidnapping,” Adrien snarks back, “Great can’t the guy just leave me alone? What's his problem it’s like-”

“Nope!” Damian drops the kidnapper walking away, “Not today! Not again!”

“... well that's just rude,” Adrien huffs as someone calls the police.

“Don’t worry,” Marinette smiles, “As I was trying to tell you I have a plan,”

 ---

 “MARINETTE!”

“Hm wonder what that could be about,” Marinette flips the page, continuing to read peacefully while seated for breakfast with the rest of the Waynes.

“Dupain-Cheng I know you are responsible for this,” Damian leans over her, still in a towel and dripping wet, oh and with pink hair that bits kinda important.

“You did this to him?” Jason laughs, not so subtly taking pictures with glee.

“Relax it’s temporary dye,” Marinette grabs Damain’s shoulder before he can jump over the table and dismember Jason.

“How temporary?” Damian demands, Marinette just turns to a new page with no drips of water on it.

“Just wash it a few more times and it will come right out,” Damian huffs again stalking out of the room, all eyes on her.

“... I can’t believe you survived that,” Tim says with awe, “Actually even Damians not stupid enough to risk that,”

She’ll ask what he means later.

 ---

 “Temporary Dupain-cheng?” Damian glares at her, still very much pink and still very much angry.

“Alright maybe not,” Marinette tries to suppress a giggle, “It looks good tho,”

“Dupain-cheng you will fix this and you will fix this now,” She’s not lying he does look good and she does blush.

“Well, we could go to the hairdresser-”

“No,” Damian snaps, crossing his arms like it's final.

“Do you trust me to dye your hair myself?”

“Absolutely not,” at least not after this.

“Then you’re stuck like that,” Marinette shrugs, Damian groans sinking into the seat behind him.

“This is all your fault Dupain-cheng,”

“Ha, how long are you going to call me that?” Damian leans forward fixing her with a venomous glare.

“Forever,”

 ---

 “Hey Robin- are you wearing a swimming cap under your hood?” Ladybug cuts herself off trying to take off his hood.

“It’s a lightweight head protector,” Robin grabs her wrist, but Ladybug is stronger.

“Yeah no,” Ladybug pushes his hood off, “It’s a swimming cap, what is killer croc up to something?”

“You’re hilarious,” Robin scoffs looking away as if there isn’t a real smile tugging at his mouth.

“Well I can’t let Chat take all the glory,” Ladybug shrugs coming to sit next to him in what has become their usual spot, “So what's the deal? Gasp did you lose a dare?”

“Did you just say gasp?” Robin asks incredulously, “And no it’s not a dare it’s a rather unfortunate prank,”

“Oh please please tell me they did the same to Batman, Please,” Ladybug his holding both his shoulders, Robin completely turned towards her as she looks at him desperately.

“........ yes,”

 ---

 “Marinette,”

“Yes Bruc-” Marinette chokes then tries to choke down her laugh.

“I feel you may have gotten carried away, I would like to remind you-” 

“So sorry to interrupt,” Marinette interrupts, “But that wasn't me,”

“Are you sure?” Bruce is studying her.

“Yeah I only messed with Damian's  bathroom,” Marinette turns completely towards him, “Were you using Damian's bathroom?”

“No,”

“Then it wasn't me,” Marinette shrugs turning away.

“Then who did it?”

“A true mystery,”

 ---

 “So you’re sure you want me to do this,” Marinette asks again, the dye in one hand Damian sitting in front of her.

“Dupain-Cheng I swear-”

“Ah, if I help you, you have to stop calling me that,” She tells him, pulling the black dye away for extra effect.

“I only call you that because of what you did,” Damian glares at her reflection in the mirror, “If you want to get back in my good graces then do this,”

“Alright, you’re sure you don’t want to keep a little pink?”

“Marinette,”

“Alright, alright,” Marinette ruffles his hair while she can get away with it, “I did like your pink hair,”

“It got in the way of...” He trails off.

“Way of what?”

“Nothing,” Marinette drops it, the topic not the dye.

“Well Damian,” She spreads the dye through his hair, “Welcome to your first step of rebellion,”

Little did either realize how true that was.

--------

no tag list :P

[satyr-syd]

Seconds after Sero stepped into the blazing heat of the summer sun, sweat already pooling at the base of his spine under his thin tank-top, it began to snow.

Chilly pin-pricks dotted the back of his back. A gust of wind manifested out of nowhere and whipped against his tragically exposed sides. He held out his hand and watched as tiny white specks melted on his sweaty palm. Sero looked up, but the sun still beat down, unhindered by a single wisp of cloud. Goosebumps pimpled down his arms.

Well this sucks.  

He was supposed to meet Todoroki in the quad five minutes ago for their daily study session (Sero had many charming qualities, and being fashionably late was one of them). Ever since their dorm’s AC had been tragically annihilated in an acid-related incident that Sero had absolutely no part in whatsoever, the quad was the best place to study. Outside, there was at least the suggestion of a breeze.

Okay, so it was a bit more than a suggestion now. More like a firm instruction, edging on harsh demand.

Sero rubbed his arms together, elbows tight against his poor exposed sides. Man oh man was he not a fan of winter. Winter meant trying to find the one jacket in the entire mall that suited his specific physique and hoping they still stocked it in his size. Where did the snow even come from? Why did it have to be now of all times? If he tried to make himself a jacket out of his tape would it actually work this time?

While Sero stood there freezing his ass off like an idiot instead of like, going back inside, a white-and-red head made its way through the quad to him.

read on ao3

fic art by @kim-namzoom!!!

“Hanta,” Todoroki greeted. His hair, grown lovingly past his shoulders in the spirit of spite (“My father despises it,” Todoroki had announced proudly after returning from winter break their second year), laid over his shoulder in a loose braid. Sero wondered who’d braided it for him. It looked nice.

By then, an icy sheen coated the ground and the wind blew loud enough to howl in his ear, and the nails on Sero’s fingers began to purple. “Dude, is this you?” Sero asked.

Todoroki shook his head. He stood close, nearly shoulder to shoulder. “I don’t know how to make snow.”

“Huh,” Sero said. “You should learn how. Then we could have snow cones like every day.”

Todoroki held out his hand - the right one - next to Sero’s.Whereas the snowflakes melted into watery mush in Sero’s palm after a few moments, they held their shape in Todoroki’s, forming a lacy layer of crystals over his slender fingers.

“Do you like snowcones?” Torodoki asked.

Sero shrugged. “Dunno, never had one.”

“Neither have I.”

Present Mic’s voice burst through the loudspeakers. “THERE HAS BEEN A QUIRK MISHAP! SORRY FOR THE UNFORESEEN WEATHER, KIDDOS! PLEASE MAKE YOUR WAY BACK TO YOUR ROOMS WHILE WE FIGURE OUT WHAT’S HAPPENING.”

The few students still standing outside slowly filed indoors.

“Maybe one of the first years?” Sero asked.

“Probably,” Todoroki said. He held up his hand. “They’re the ones most lacking in control...and yet, overflowing with arrogance.”

“Wow, sounds like someone I knew in first year.”

Todoroki nodded sagely. “Bakugou was certainly a handful.”

“I know you know who I was talking about,” Sero said, poking his shoulder.

Todoroki smirked. It was just the slight quirk of his lips, barely visible unless you knew to look for it. Sero knew to look. He’s seen that smile a lot, these days. Which was great, because Todoroki had a wonderful smile, but also not great, because whenever he made Todoroki smile, his heart doki-doki ’d so hard that he was positive Todoroki could hear it.

See, asking Todoroki to tutor him had been a highly calculated move that had not one, but two purposes: first, Sero was, is, and (if we’re being honest) probably always will be a terrible student and if there was any chance of him getting decent grades his last year of high school, he needed a tutor. He could have asked the other top-scoring students, but Momo and Kendo were too busy (he wasn’t the only idiot scrambling for a passing grade), Bakugou was too explodey, Iida was too boring, and Midoriya was too muttery. Todoroki was none of those things and also the hottest of the bunch, which lead to purpose number two: as his tutor, he and Todoroki could spend more time alone together. Why? Because six months had passed since Sero admitted to himself that he was no better than every other girl in school and was totally crushing on the Icy-hot hero Shouto and now he’s tired of pining like some basic bitch.

“Let’s study in my room,” Todoroki said.

Sero had been to Torodoki’s room like, a ton of times, but his heart still skipped a beat every time Todoroki invited him. “Lead the way, sensei,” he said.

“I’m not your sensei.”

“Your teaching prowess says otherwise, sensei.”

“Call me sensei one more time and I’ll have Bakugou quiz you on polar coordinates.”

“Now that’s just cruel,” Sero said. He spun in front of Todoroki. “But I don’t think you have the heart to follow through on that - ” Sero tapped his nose to the beat of his killing blow “ -  sen-sei.”

Todoroki stared at him for a moment, pouting, cheeks pink from the cold. Then he pulled out his phone and began texting Bakugou.

“Noooooo shit I’m sorry I’ll stop! It was just a joke!”

This is it,  Sero told himself.  Snow storm wailing outside, holed up in Todoroki’s room, just the two of us - this is my moment.

Todoroki’s room hadn’t changed much since their first year. Decorative pot of bamboo in the corner (fake), tall, dark wooden drawers, a low desk free of clutter, tatami flooring, somehow. That ugly checkered mat by his desk. But where there once was one chair, now there were two. A pair of crocs (never worn) sat in front of his dresser. And on the dresser, crowding the decorative orb, half a dozen framed pictures: Todoroki, Midoriya, and Bakugou at the end of their internship with Endeavor; their class picture from last year; Natsuo and Fuyumi showering Todoroki in hugs; a selfie Sero took of him and Todoroki on their first day of their summer internship with Edgeshot.

There was also a behemoth purple beanbag sitting by the shoji screen. It looked wildly out of place with the rest of his traditional set-up. Sero dragged it over to Todoroki’s desk and flopped down into it.

Over the next twenty minutes, they reviewed that day’s lessons (apparently it’s like, good practice to review what you’ve learned that same day, which was annoying, but Sero’s grades had been going up, so whatever). Todoroki explained over and over until Sero actually understood how to convert Cartesian coordinates to polar coordinates. Maybe he wouldn’t have had to explain so many times if Sero had listened carefully, but, well, it was hard with Todoroki talking to him in the soothing, patient tone he took on when he was teaching. He just looked so cute with his brow furrowed, thinking up a new way to explain a concept that would penetrate Sero’s thick skull. Sero liked to think he had built up a tolerance to buff, attractive men over his nearly-three years at U.A., but he was still weak to Todoroki’s hands, to the way his tight t-shirt clung to his broad shoulders.

The fact that he was cold as shit wasn't helping him focus either. Faint shadows of falling snow danced along the translucent paper walls of the shoji screen, taunting him.

But hey, at least he vaguely understood the polar coordinate system.

“You know, you’re pretty good at this,” Sero said after he finally solved a difficult math problem all on his own. “I bet the others would die to get their hands on your notes.”

“Guess they’ll die, then.”

Sero snickered. “That’s rough, dude.”

Todoroki shrugged. “I’m not going to put effort into something I don’t like to do when I know they won’t appreciate it.”

Sero freezes. “Wait - you don’t like tutoring?”

“Well - ”

“Oh shit, am I making you do something you hate? Bro, why didn’t you tell me, I wouldn’t have - ”

“It’s different when it’s you,” Todoroki said sharply.

Sometimes, it was hard to tell when Todoroki was joking, or if he was actually serious. The look in those blue-brown eyes, though, showed his resolve loud and clear.

Todoroki immediately averted his eyes. “I like helping you,” he muttered, “so it’s fine.”

“Oh.”

Not for the first time, Sero wondered: why him? Todoroki had many other friends ...maybe friends that were smarter than he was and didn’t need tutoring, granted, but other friends he could be hanging out with. What’s the appeal? Was it his wonderfully terrible sense of humor? Was it the muscles he totally wasn't showing off? Was it because they shared the same taste in manga (oh yeah - he should ask Todoroki if he finished with week’s Shonen Champion)? Was it because he, unlike at least half of their year, was capable of talking at a normal volume? Over his time at U.A., Sero had gained more confidence in himself than he ever thought he would, but when it came to Todoroki, he still felt...small. Unsure if the light that shone from a great hero like Todoroki drowned out his own little spark.

Usually things between them were pretty chill, but after that comment, a weird kind of tension settled over the room. Not bad, just quiet, like when there's a sleeping cat on your laps and you're afraid any movement will wake it.

Pretty soon, though, Sero began to shiver. He couldn’t help it - there was a winter storm outside, apparently, and he was in a tank top and jorts, and seriously, did  no one  turn the heat on? Did no one turn the heat on  and  the AC miraculously began working again?

Todoroki was staring at him, too. God, he must have thought Sero was some kind of pansy, getting cold so easily, unable to regulate his own temperature like  some  people (though he guessed in that case, most people would be pansies to Todoroki).

13) Convert 2x−5x   3   =1+xy into polar coordinates.

Sero tapped his pen against his paper. Todoroki’s gaze followed the movement, then returned to his face. Sero could practically feel his impatience.

Sero put his pen down and stretched his arms over his head. Todoroki looked away.  Got’em.  

“You know...” Sero said. Todoroki glanced back at him. “...staring at me isn’t going to help me solve this stupid question any faster.”

“I wasn’t staring,” Todoroki said, crossing his arms like a petulant child.

Sero grinned. Anyone who knew him well can tell you that the Cool and Cold hero Shouto was just as petty as any mortal. Probably pettier, in fact. “You totally were.”

Todoroki frowned. “You were shivering.”

“Yeah, wonder why.”

Todoroki’s gaze shifted over to him. He looked Sero up and down. Sero tried and failed not to shiver. Todoroki’s clenched jaw softed and his eyes smiled and he stared - this time, he  was definitely staring - Sero felt his face heating up (well, that’s one way to get warm).

Wordlessly, Todoroki got up and sat down next to him on the beanbag. Sero fell against him, shoulder to shoulder, hip to hip, thigh to thigh, the tips of Todoroki’s braid tickling his shoulder.

Sero froze up (pun intended). His heart pounded in his ears. But he knew what Todoroki was doing, so he didn’t feel guilty as he curled into his side, basking in the warmth like a cat in a strip of sunlight. And the warmth from Todoroki’s left side began to melt him down.  

He pressed his cheek against Todoroki’s shoulder and said, “I thought you didn’t like people using you as a space heater.”

“Most people.”

Sero smirked. “So you’re saying I’m special?”

Todoroki looked at him and smiled. “Didn’t I say that earlier?”

Ohhhh man oh fuck. How could he just say that, looking at him like that, like he was more than just the plainest guy in class, like he really was special? Sero was known for keeping his cool, for being the chillest dude in the group, but with someone as special as Todoroki looking at him like  he’s  special…fuck.

“I mean, well, like that was just about tutoring and not, you know - ”  nearly sitting in my fucking lap,   “  - sharing personal space.”

“You looked cold,” Todoroki said. He could feel Todoroki’s breath on his cheek. “I didn’t want you to be distracted.”

“I’m a lot more distracted now.”

A part of him cringed as the words left his mouth. Oh god, why did I say that, was that even sexy?  But another part of him pushed that part down and shushed it. This is the opening we’ve been waiting for, it said. Even if Todoroki turned him down, at least he could graduate without any regrets. Maybe he could even tell his grandkids that he once received a  personal  rejection from the great hero Shouto.

“Oh.” Todoroki said, shoulder tensing where Sero leaned against him. Sero braced himself mentally, the same way he did before he launched himself off a building, preparing for the inevitable gut-plunge as he swooped toward the ground. “...me too.”

And there’s the thrill of the upward swing.

Sero was an idiot, but he wasn’t stupid. He wouldn’t have shot his shot if he’d thought he had no chance. Still, hearing Todoroki say he feels it too took him by surprise in the best way possible. Like tasting the sweet tang of umiboshi in the center of a plain-looking onigiri. Like acing a test you thought you failed. Like snow in June.

The air between them was electric but still. Did that count as admitting their feelings? What should he say now? Where were they supposed to go from here? All Sero wanted to do his grab Todoroki’s hand and hold his stupid pretty face in his hands and kiss him silly, but they should probably like, talk about things -

“Hanta.”

“Yeah?”

“Can I kiss you?”

“Oh thank fuck - yes please.”

And then he was kissing Todoroki Shouto, son of number one hero Endeavor, one of the Big Three most promising students at the most prestigious hero school in the country. His lips were soft but clumsy, shy but adamant as he pressed against him. Sero cupped his face and felt the slight inhale of Shouto’s gasp. Despite being pinned down by the weight of Shouto’s chest on his and trapped between the strong forearms framing his face, the light that perpetually emanated from the great hero Shouto wasn’t overwhelming. Sero was warmed by his light instead of cowed by it. In that moment, Shouto’s light drew out the best in him - and his little spark ignited.  

Yet, that question that always nagged him surfaced again: Why me?      

As Shouto’s kisses began to trail down his neck, Sero figured he could ask why later - when Shouto wasn’t busy showing him it’s you, it’s you.      

Even with the frozen tundra battering just outside, Sero was burning up again.

[quickspinner]

Licked

🎉🎉🎉Happy birthday to the woman who started it all (at least started the LBSC exchange where I met all these wonderful crazy people to enable and be enabled by) @justknitstuff / @chromemist ! 🥳 This one’s just for you. Sounds like things have been crazy lately and I hope this makes your day a little bit happier.

Aged-up Lukanette, alternate first meeting

Rated TL for thirsty Luka lol...but there’s nothing explicit or above a T rating. Just a lot of ogling and some innuendo. 

Luka’s been Jagged Stone’s guitarist for a couple of years now, and he’s seen lots of things. Weird things. Exciting things. Fun things. Not so fun things.

But Luka’s never seen anything like the designer Jagged flew in a few days ago. Unfortunately for his smitten heart, their first run-in (literally) didn’t go too well, so he’s hoping for a chance to smooth things over. A trip to the zoo, while unexpected, seems like the perfect chance...if he can stop ogling her long enough to remember how words work. 

Being Jagged Stone came with a lot of perks.  

Being Jagged Stone’s guitarist came with less (and a lot more headaches), but sometimes things trickled down, and so Luka found himself walking through the Australia Zoo, trailing at the back of Jagged’s entourage. The rock star had been invited for a private tour of the zoo, famous for its crocodiles, and Jagged had insisted on bringing “a few of his favorite people” along. (A few was really more like twenty, but when you’re Jagged Stone, nobody does a head count.) 

It should have been really cool. Luka loved animals and hadn’t been to a zoo in years, let alone one as big and famous as the Australia Zoo. They’d been brought in through a back entrance, and shown some really cool behind-the-scenes stuff, and the rumor was they were going to get to be more hands-on with the animals than was typically allowed.

Except Luka hadn’t really seen any of the animals they’d been supposed to look at that day, because a week ago, Jagged had flown in a stylist from Paris for some emergency or other. Her work done, she’d been invited along on this tour with them, and Luka was having a hard time looking at anything else. 

He’d met her shortly after she arrived, on the tour bus. She’d tripped coming down the steps just as he had started up, and she’d nearly taken him down with her, but Luka had managed to get a hold on the hand rail and keep them both from what would surely have been a painful fall. She’d been awfully embarrassed, and in the midst of some very confused introductions, Luka had made some stupid joke that had only made things worse, and she’d fled from him in a chaotic whirlwind of flustered adorable that had made it necessary for him to sit down on the steps for a moment to calm his pounding heart.

He’d only caught glimpses of her since then as she worked frantically to get Jagged ready for the finale show of this stop on the tour. As cute as she was, and as smitten as Luka had been in that short meeting, he hadn’t dared flirt with her while she was working on such a tough deadline, so other than volunteering to take her food or drinks when craft service brought them in, he’d stayed out of the way. She always flashed him a distracted (stunning) smile when he dropped off her food, but she’d been far too busy for anything more. Luka wasn’t entirely clear on why Jagged needed the new outfit so badly and so immediately, but it was Jagged and nobody even bothered to wonder why he did the things he did anymore. 

Besides, no one could deny that the outfit, when it had finally debuted, had been amazing. Unlike most people, Luka had the opportunity to see it up close and take in all the details that would, unfortunately, probably be lost under the heavy lights of the stage. Even so, it was designed to look stunning under those lights, and on camera, and anyone admitted to the privilege of actually meeting the rock star in it would be all the more dazzled. 

Luka certainly was. Far more than was really justified by what little contact they had, honestly, but Luka was used to trusting his intuition, and his gut (he was pretty sure it was his gut, though other parts certainly had plenty to say) was telling him that this girl was something special.

This should’ve been the perfect chance to talk to her, smooth things over, make a better second impression, pour on the charm. It would’ve been easier if he had his guitar, but still, he should have been able to make this work. 

Except summer in Australia was hot. Luka had ditched his hoodie almost the second they’d gotten off the plane. Even his well-ventilated jeans got swapped for a pair of board shorts at his first opportunity. 

So naturally, she was wearing shorts as well, and for such a short woman, she had gorgeous legs. Even her feet were cute in little flowered sandals he suspected she’d decorated herself. It didn’t get any better (or rather, it only got better) when he dragged his eyes above her waist. Her flowy, off-the-shoulder peasant top was somehow completely modest and unbearably sexy at the same time. Her hair was pulled up into a bun, with little tendrils sticking to her neck and bare shoulders or waving on the breeze as she fanned herself with the zoo map. 

It was all Luka could do not to ogle her like a creep. How he was ever going to manage to talk to her, he had no idea. 

So he hung back, trying to get his bearings and find his usual chill, while his bandmates shot him knowing grins and snickered behind their hands. They didn’t dare embarrass him too publicly, though. Luka had been participating in the annual Couffaine prank war since he was a kid and he was very creative when it came to revenge. 

It wouldn’t be that hard to shove one of them into the croc pen, he was sure. Just as an example to the others.

Busy contemplating his retaliation, he stopped automatically when the group stopped, and didn’t realize he was standing behind Marinette until she turned suddenly, brow slightly furrowed in thought, and promptly tripped over his foot and tipped forward with a yelp.  

“Whoa!” Luka’s arm shot out and he caught her around the waist, stopping her from falling, but she must have been startled by the sudden grab, because she tried to push him away and nearly fell again in the process. Luka didn’t let go, instead planting his feet to steady her. It only took a moment for her brain to catch up with what was happening and she stopped struggling. Instead, she babbled a breathless apology in rather confused English, and Luka grinned as he levered her back upright. 

“Don’t worry about it,” he said in French, keeping his hands on her waist for a moment longer to make sure she was steady before drawing back. “I wasn’t paying attention either. Are you all right?” 

“Fine,” she said, pushing her hair back from her forehead as she gave him an embarrassed smile. “I’m fine. Thank you. Sorry. Um, again. Thanks. Luka, right? I’ve been meaning to say thanks for everything this week too. I probably would have starved if you weren’t looking out for me, so...” She broke off to suck in a breath and gave an embarrassed smile. “Yeah. Thanks.”

“My pleasure,” Luka replied. “For both. Although Penny orders the food, I’m just the delivery boy.” He grinned at her, and she started to smile back before her eyes widened slightly and she whirled. 

“Um, we should catch up with the others?” she blurted. They had fallen a bit behind, and Marinette took off in a power walk that caught her up with the group in no time.

Luka trailed behind, a little deflated. He’d barely even said anything that time, but she’d run away again. Maybe...maybe he should just back off. If she wasn’t interested in him then—but for a second there, he’d thought...

He continued to linger at the back of the group, not approaching Marinette or trying to get near her. They came to another enclosure, and Luka leaned his elbows on the concrete wall of the enclosure, trying to find his enthusiasm for the trip. Below him in the pen, dingos yipped and frolicked, tackling each other and then sprinting around the pen. He had to smile, watching them. 

To his surprise, Marinette came up and stood next to him. She shot him a quick, hesitant smile, which he returned automatically, and then stood on her toes a little to peer over the barrier into the cage, leaning her hands on the wall next to him. She gave him another quick smile as she settled back on her heels. 

“They’re cute,” she murmured, and then blushed and looked away. 

“They look like they’re having a good time,” Luka observed, and she made a noise of agreement. An awkward silence fell between them. Luka’s face was turned towards the dogs below them, but he was watching Marinette out of the corner of his eye, trying to figure her out and not dwell on how much he’d like to nip along the pretty line of her jaw to her neck— 

His salvation came when he caught her eyeing his arms as he leaned on the rail. He’d cut the sleeves off this t-shirt years ago, and he was reasonably sure that the flush on her face wasn’t just the heat. Luka turned his face away for a moment to hide his smirk, and the little ego boost was just what he needed to untie his tongue. 

But before he could come up with something to say, Marinette did. 

“That’s the tour shirt from what, eight years ago?” Marinette asked, leaning back slightly to look at the dates down the back. 

“Yeah, I’ve had it forever,” Luka shrugged, pleased by the way her eyes followed the motion of his shoulders. “As you can probably tell.”

“At least it’s good ventilation in this heat,” Marinette quipped, reaching out to pluck the ragged edge of one of the tears on the side. 

“Definitely an advantage,” Luka agreed, with a wink. “Not as stylish as yours, though. That’s a cute top. I like the ruffles.” That wasn’t too weird, was it? She was a fashion designer after all. Luka didn’t know anything about fashion but she certainly looked good in it.

“I’m not very rock ‘n roll, I know,” she said, wrinkling her nose, glancing down at herself. Cute. “But it’s me, and that’s what matters.” She tossed her head and scrunched up one shoulder, giving a look that dared him to argue. 

“You’re perfect,” Luka smiled, and the pink on her cheeks grew a little darker. “You’re from Paris, right? I think Jagged said so?” he added quickly, afraid he’d made her uncomfortable. Marinette nodded, and he grinned at her, leaning back on the barrier again. “Me too. Well, sort of. We moved around a lot when I was younger but we’ve been settled in Paris for a long time.”

“That explains why your French is so good,” Marinette giggled. “I’d wondered.” She settled against the rail next to him and nudged his shoulder slightly with her own. “I bet the American ladies love your accent.” 

Oh God, she was flirting with him, and it was adorable. Luka suppressed the urge to squeal like a teenage girl as he looked down at his hands, grinning. “Maybe. Just my luck the only girl I’ve met worth impressing happens to be French.” He bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing so he could pretend not to notice the choking noise she made.  

“Honestly,” he began, when he thought she had recovered, “I kind of have a habit of putting my foot in my mouth. Like when we met. I’ve been wanting to apologize for that. I didn’t mean to upset you or make you feel bad. Sometimes I’m thoughtless without meaning to be, so. I’m sorry.”

“Oh,” Marinette ducked her head slightly. “That’s all right. The stuttering, the word jumbling, it’s something that happens when I’m nervous. I should be used to it by now. I shouldn’t have been so sensitive, just—”

“No, wait. I really wasn’t trying to make fun of you, but I was out of line and you had every right to be mad at me,” Luka said, putting a hand on her shoulder to stop her. “I’m sorry, and it won’t happen again.” 

Marinette stared at him for a moment, and then smiled. “Thank you. I, um, accept your apology.” 

“Thank you,” Luka grinned, letting his hand fall from her shoulder.  “So. How long have you known Jagged?”

“I’ve been working for him off and on for almost ten years now,” Marinette told him, as they turned away to follow the group towards the next exhibit.  

“That’s pretty impressive,” Luka said, and meant it. “I’ve only been with him for the last couple of years. I’m not sure I could take a decade of that.” He waved at Jagged, who was bouncing along at the front of the group, loud and gesturing broadly, chattering excitedly with their hosts (who might be the only people on the planet as croc-mad as Jagged). 

Marinette giggled and warmth filled him, entirely different from the heat of the sun on their backs or the way he’d felt when he saw her in those shorts. “You get it in more concentrated doses than I do,” she pointed out. “You’re stuck with him for months at a time. I mostly get video calls, plus one or two unannounced visits and the occasional demand to fly out and design something for him.” 

“Like now?” Luka asked, and Marinette nodded. 

“I don’t know what they tried to make him wear but apparently it was not acceptable and he needed somebody who gets him,” she said, tone cheerful though she rolled her eyes. “I don’t really mind this time. It got me out of another project that I really didn’t want to do, and Jagged pays well. It doesn’t hurt my portfolio either.” She winked at him and he was pretty sure it stopped his heart for a moment. 

“I bet,” Luka grinned, a beat later than he should have. “Jagged’s not an easy man to please.”

“You should know,” Marinette teased, leaning towards him, and then she seemed to catch herself and turn her attention back to the animals, cheeks reddening. 

Luka was still grinning as he looked back as well, not really seeing them. Something caught his eye to his other side, and when he looked, he found his bandmates making kissy faces and gesturing rudely. Luka raised his eyebrows at them in warning, and they fell to snickering. Luka rolled his eyes and turned toward Marinette, set on ignoring them, but she had pulled a small notebook from her bag and was sketching one of the flowers planted along the concrete barrier. Luka sighed, but opted not to disturb her. 

They were ushered on, and Luka had an easier time getting into the trip now that he’d at least cleared the air with Marinette.  When he ended up next to her again, she shot him a quick smile, too excited at the prospect of holding a koala to pay him much attention. Luka didn’t mind; her enthusiasm was cute, he was really kind of excited to hold a koala himself, and he was the one she turned to at the last second, shoving her phone in his hands and begging him to take her picture. He did, grinning stupidly the whole time at her sparkling eyes and beaming smile, and took one with his own as well, “just in case.” Marinette happily returned the favor, and it wasn’t as hard as it should have been for Luka to ignore his bandmates behind her making crude gestures and pretending to cheer him on. Clearly he’d been too easy on them the last few months. As they moved on Luka made a mental note to plan a particularly creative revenge. He had to find a way to ditch those jackasses before they ruined everything. 

He saw his moment when they finally reached the famous crocodile paddocks, and the family took Jagged with them into the pen, since he was “an experienced crocodile handler” (“Have they met Fang?” Luka murmured to Marinette, who giggled). By now rumors of the rock star’s presence had circulated and there was quite a crowd jamming up against the barriers to see him—and Jagged never could resist a crowd. Before long, an impromptu croc show was on, and it became obvious the tour wasn’t going to continue any time soon. 

Marinette sighed at his elbow and folded her arms, pouting slightly, and Luka quickly assessed his options. Excusing himself, he worked his way through the crowd of bystanders to Penny, who was somehow managing to look both bored and stressed out at the same time. She barely acknowledged his “Hey, Penny,” when he sidled up next to her.  

“I was just wondering,” Luka said, brushing sweat-damp hair off of his forehead. “It looks like Jagged’s gonna be a while and Marinette’s looking pretty—” Don’t say hot! “—uh, warm standing out here in the sun, so…” He faltered for a moment as Penny turned away from Jagged to look directly at him, eyes narrowing. She saw right through him, he was sure. He swallowed his nerves and went on. “I was, um, thinking maybe I could take her to find some shade and maybe buy her something to drink and some ice cream, and we can meet back up with you guys in a bit?” 

Penny stared at him for a moment, and Luka looked back as impassively as he could. She looked toward Marinette over his shoulder, and Luka couldn’t help glancing back. Marinette’s cheeks were still bright pink and she was fanning herself with her map again. 

“Couffaine,” Penny said in a warning voice, and Luka turned back to her with a sigh. 

“Penny come on,” he said in a low voice. “Even rock stars don’t meet a girl like that every day.”

Penny’s lips pressed together, and her eyes flicked to Marinette again before fixing back on Luka. “You know she’s flying out tomorrow,” Penny said, her voice unexpectedly gentle.

Luka rocked back on his heels slightly, and took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. Tomorrow. That meant his only shot for a date was tonight. If he didn’t at least get her number by the end of the day, she’d walk out of his life and who knew when he’d see her again, and that just wasn’t acceptable. 

He focused back on Penny and flashed a smile. “Then I better not waste any time, huh?” 

Penny sighed, and then reached around him and snatched the zoo map out of his back pocket. She clicked her pen, then circled a place on the map and slapped it against his chest. “You have two hours. Meet us there and don’t be late.” 

Luka took the map and tucked it back into his pocket. “Thanks, Penny.” 

She sighed. “Good luck,” she muttered, turning back to Jagged.

He went back to Marinette, blowing out another deep breath and trying to look relaxed as he approached her. Nothing to lose and everything to gain. Time to bring your A-game, Couffaine.  

“Hey, do you want to get out of here?” he asked, when she looked up at his approach. “Penny told me where to meet them later, and as entertaining as it might be to watch Jagged get eaten by a crocodile, I’m pretty sure he’s too lucky for it to actually happen. What do you say we go get something to eat and see the rest of the zoo?” 

He was rewarded with a brilliant smile and he walked off at her side, flipping off his bandmates behind her back as they passed. 

Marinette relaxed almost immediately, away from the crowd, and Luka winced internally, afraid she might have noticed some of the teasing. “Sorry if the guys have been giving you a hard time,” he said, as casually as he could. “They’re a bunch of clowns but they’re mostly harmless.” 

“Oh, they’re fine,” Marinette shrugged, smiling up at him. “They seem nice enough, just...loud. It’s always loud around Jagged. It gets to be a bit much sometimes. I don’t know how you stand it. You don’t seem very loud yourself, except when you’re on stage.” 

“I’m not,” Luka admitted, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Never have been, except on stage. I’m used to the chaos, though. Ice cream?”

Marinette brightened. “Sure!”

The ice cream might have been a mistake, Luka reflected a short time later. Marinette’s mouth was gorgeous. Celebrities paid good money for lips like that, and watching them glide along her spoon was only half as torturous as watching her lick at the ice cream directly, trying to sweep up the melting drops running down the side. 

Luka quickly took a bigger bite of his own than was wise, and gritted his teeth against the resulting brain freeze. Marinette laughed at the face he made, and that brought him back to a place where he could at least speak normally to her. For a while, they stayed on neutral topics, chatting about their families and careers in between cooing over the animals. Marinette was sharp, and entertainingly witty when she didn’t think too hard and trip over her tongue. 

Luka was catching her rhythm, now. She skittered away from him when she got overwhelmed or felt she’d been too daring, but as long as he waited, she’d sidle back, settle back into shy flirting that would gradually grow bolder, until something tipped her over the edge and she ran away again. Luka adjusted to suit, letting her have her space when she needed it, easing off his teasing when she returned until she found her footing again. He was enjoying it, actually, now that he knew she wasn’t actually scared or put off by him; he got a charge out of it when he flustered her and she fled, and an equally powerful feeling when she came back to him. 

The rest of the afternoon was a series of exquisite moments. Standing a little too close, leaning into each other’s space more than was necessary to read a sign or peer into an exhibit. Shy looks that grew slowly bolder and smiles that turned into soft giggles. A burst of triumph when he took her hand and she slid her fingers between his. The flutter of excitement he felt when she leaned against his arm to point something out, and then rested her cheek on his shoulder instead of pulling away. A look up at him, and a dip of his head that might have become a kiss if not for a rush of small, screaming children bumping into their knees. 

They made it to the giraffe pavilion Penny had circled on the map a little ahead of the others, and Luka knew he’d better say what he needed to say quickly. The employee at the doors let them in and led them to the giraffe feeding area, giving them each a handful of lettuce, and went back outside to wait for the rest of the group. Another bored-looking employee was leaning against the back wall, but he didn’t seem to be paying them any attention. 

Marinette was back to the bubbly sort of excited she’d been when they held the koalas, and Luka was loving every moment of it, but he knew the clock was ticking. He took a breath and stepped close, reaching over her to offer some lettuce to the giraffe. The giraffe sniffed it, and then dipped its head to take the lettuce from Marinette instead.

Marinette giggled, looking up to scrunch her nose at him. “I think he likes me.” 

“No doubt,” Luka said, offering her his handful of lettuce, and not noticing when a leaf dribbled out of the side of the giraffe’s mouth above him and landed in his hair. “I know I do.” 

Marinette blushed, and gave him another look over her shoulder, reaching up to the giraffe with another section of lettuce. 

“Luka Couffaine, are you hitting on me?” she asked, the quirk of her smile suggesting the idea wasn’t unwelcome.

“I’ve been trying my best,” Luka chuckled, and then grew serious, reaching for her hand to turn her to face him. “You’re really special, Marinette. I know you have pretty much no reason to take me seriously, but believe me, I don’t get this way about just anyone.” Here goes nothing. “I’ve had a crush on you pretty much since you crashed into me on the bus, and it’s getting worse by the minute. I’ve had a great time with you today, and I’m really hoping it doesn’t have to stop.”

For a moment she seemed to glow, and Luka’s breath caught, but then she paused and her face fell. “I’m flying out tomorrow,” she said, dropping her eyes as she tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. 

“Well,” Luka said, leaning in a little. “That still leaves tonight.” Marinette’s eyes blew wide and Luka’s did too as his own words hit his ears. “Dinner! I meant dinner, I didn’t—I mean unless you want to but I—okay forget that I swear I just meant I’d like to take you to dinner.” 

“I’d love for you to take me,” she said quickly, and then her eyes widened. “To dinner! Oh my—dinner. Just dinner. For now. I mean, uh—” 

Luka couldn’t help it. He started laughing, and so did Marinette, hiding her face in his chest, both of them laughing so hard they couldn’t quite stand up straight and collapsed against each other, swaying slightly. After a moment she peeked up at him, still giggling, and said decisively, “I’d love to have dinner with you.” 

Grinning down at her in his arms, Luka’s gaze fell to her lips, remembering that almost kiss, and by the way she pulled that lower lip between her teeth, Marinette did too.

He started to lean toward her but a sudden, hard tug on his hair jerked him backwards, and then he registered something wet and slimy running down the back of his head and along his neck. 

Luka screamed at a pitch he normally only hit during concerts, and lurched forward, knocking into Marinette as he flailed over his head. He made contact with something but it just moved away and there was another tug on his hair. He scrambled blindly, trying to get away from whatever it was, not realizing he was practically climbing his small companion.

“Luka, calm down! It’s just the giraffe!” Marinette said, hooking her hands under his thighs and hiking him up to a more stable position. “I’ve got you, you big baby,” she laughed, and he looked down, fully registering the fact that his legs were wrapped around Marinette’s waist and she was holding him up—awkwardly, since he was so much bigger than her, but securely. 

If he hadn’t been so embarrassed, he might have been turned on, but as he stared down into Marinette’s amused blue eyes twinkling back up at him, he really would have been just as happy if a hole opened up in the ground for her to drop him into. 

Things were going so well, too. Luka twisted around to see behind him, and sure enough there was a giraffe, staring back at him as it chewed placidly. Luka put a hand up to his hair automatically and whined when it came away slimy with giraffe spit. At least it seemed like it was all there. Whatever the giraffe was chewing on, at least it hadn’t taken a chunk of his hair. 

That would just be the icing on the cake. He started to put his hand back on Marinette’s shoulder and then realized his hand was slimy now too. 

Fuck, he really had no idea how to recover from this. 

“What the hell is going on here?” 

Luka closed his eyes and dropped his forehead on the top of Marinette’s head. “Hi, Penny.” 

“Marinette are you all right?” Penny demanded, and Luka could hear the unmistakable sound of Jagged’s raucous laughter soaring over the hysteria of his other bandmates. 

“I’m fine,” Marinette giggled, and looked up at Luka. “Can I put you down now, or do I need to carry you away from the big, scary giraffe first?” 

“Just let it eat me,” Luka muttered, and Marinette laughed, dropping Luka’s feet to the ground. 

“Not a chance,” Marinette sniffed. “Who’s going to buy me dinner tonight if I let you get eaten by the least scary animal in this zoo?” 

“What’s this about dinner?” Jagged asked, perking up, and Luka groaned, slapping his palm over his face. He made a disgusted noise as he realized it was still covered in giraffe spit. He rubbed it off on his shorts and used the tail of his shirt to wipe off his face, sighing. 

“You really still want to have dinner after that?” he grumbled mournfully, fully expecting Marinette to back out. When she didn’t answer he peeked out from behind his shirt. 

Marinette was staring at his exposed abs. Luka grinned, and dropped his shirt. Marinette’s eyes snapped back up to his face. “I’m gonna find a restroom and clean up,” he told her, chucking her under the chin (with his clean hand) to close her open mouth. “Think about what you want to eat tonight.” He winked and she made a strangled noise. 

***

Luka’s foot tapped restlessly as the plane rolled up to the jetbridge (not the gangway, as Jagged had repeatedly corrected him during the first few months on tour). They were a little late, and Luka was tired and hungry and very eager to see his no-longer-so-long-distance girlfriend.

It was torture waiting for the crowd to deplane, and Luka breathed a sigh of relief as he finally made it to the airport corridor and started making his way eagerly toward the baggage claim. He was very much looking forward to being in the same city as Marinette for at least a few months. Their relationship had grown amazingly well, considering they were limited to texting and video calls, except for one week in New York, when Jagged had flown Marinette out for another fashion emergency, and one blissful, heavenly week in London last month when Marinette had taken the train out just to see him, and they had spent the whole week avoiding the overenthusiastic rock star, Luka’s stupid bandmates, and the terrible weather in the very private hotel room Luka had spared no expense for. Even the thought of it made him bite his lip and walk faster. 

He was even more motivated because Juleka was supposed to be meeting him here too, and he wasn’t at all sure it was a good idea to leave his sister and his girlfriend alone together for too long in what was bound to be a slightly awkward first meeting. 

When he first spotted the girls, he only had eyes for Marinette, and only after he had swept her up in his arms and nearly crushed her, did he have enough attention to notice the giant giraffe balloon his sister was holding. The damn thing was nearly as big as Juleka, and the shit-eating grin his normally reserved sister was wearing was enough to assure him that it wasn’t a coincidence.

Luka groaned and let Marinette slide to the floor. “I can’t believe you told her.” 

Marinette giggled and shrugged. “We had to kill the awkward somehow,” she shrugged. “She just got this manic grin and ran off to the nearest gift shop.”

“And it was so worth it for the look on your face,” Juleka snickered.

Luka snorted. Really it was a miracle it had taken this long; he’d had to threaten to quit to keep Jagged from plastering the band’s social media with pictures of Luka hanging off Marinette, a terrified look on his face and his hair sticking straight up and coated in giraffe drool. 

Still. “Just for that,” he muttered, and grabbed Marinette’s hand to pull her close, cradling the back of her head in his hand as he kissed her. He meant it to be a simple kiss, just sloppy enough to embarrass his sister, but Marinette put her arms around his neck and pressed up into him, and he forgot Juleka was even there for at least a full minute. 

Even the sound of his sister gagging couldn’t wipe the grin off his face when Marinette’s lips finally slipped away from his. “I am so glad to be back,” he growled, and felt Marinette shiver in his arms. “I’m taking you out tomorrow, jet lag or no. You just say when and where.” 

“I was thinking maybe we could go to the zoo,” Marinette said innocently, and Juleka cackled as Luka sighed and rolled his eyes to the ceiling. 

“I like her,” Juleka said, shoving Luka’s arm. “Don’t mess it up. Although,” she began to snicker, “if you could recover from a beginning like that, maybe I shouldn’t worry.” 

Luka opened his mouth to tell her where she could shove her opinion, but Marinette grabbed his collar and jerked him down into another kiss. “Be nice,” she murmured, and then shoved him back, giggling along with Juleka at the blissful look on his face. 

So just because I constantly live in fear of people calling me on my BS, I’m gonna warn you now I’ve never been to Australia Zoo and while I did some research and studied the map well...try not to laugh at me too hard if you’ve been. It’s just background so I didn’t try that hard to differentiate it from other zoos. But Knit loves giraffes so I needed a zoo and Australia Zoo seemed like the easiest one to get Jagged to, so here we are. Happy Birthday, Knit!

Fiction Master Post | AO3 

[stripper-patrick]

Pretty Doll 🧸 Oscar Diaz

Warnings: smut, filth, language, choking, unprotected, English to Spanish translation, kitchen sex, blood mention, cramping, pain

Tags: @rebellious-desires @mrsbanreswillseeyou @eclecticblkgirl

Relationship: Oscar Diaz x black plus sized reader

A hard 5 knocks come at my door and I groan after finally just getting to sit down. I had just finished cleaning the house and mopping and now I’m being bothered again. I stand up and sigh walking through the foyer to the front door. I wrap my hand around the bronze knob where I twist and open the door being met with these honey brown eyes that I used to go crazy for. Spooky.

“Hey Spooky. I’m sorry were you calling me?” I grab my phone out of my back pocket and he shakes his head.

“No I just figured now would be a good time to drop him off before it gets too late” I step to the side where he brings in our son, Zander who’s obviously sleepy.

“Hi mommy” he hugs my hips and I rub his back

“Hi baby”

“Uh I was hoping we could talk Y/N” I look at him and nod taking the sleepy boy by his hand. “Go in the kitchen and help yourself while I get him settled” I take Aamir upstairs undressing him and placing him into his pajamas which consist of some grey shorts and a paw patrol shirt. I get Zander in the bed and tuck him in kissing his head watching his heavy eyelids finally fall. I turn out the lamp and turn on his night light. I shut the door and go downstairs seeing Spooky sitting down with a glass of water. He taps at the glass and I sit down across from him waiting for what he has to say. He stays silent staring at the glass

“How was he today” I break the silence

“He was great yea we went fishing and he caught a big one. A snapper.” He nods “then we went and got lunch and walked around town for a bit”

“Sounds fun” a wave of silence falls upon us again and I look at him “Spooky did something happen?”

“Nah Nah me and Cesar are ok” he says “I just” he pauses for a second searching for his words “miss you” I feel my blood boil instantly after he said that. Our past was exactly the greatest. We used to do stupid shit. I got busted for petty theft then found out I was pregnant. Oscar took the blame for me but that doesn’t dismiss how I found 2 other bitches in the bed we shared. One of them being my very own blood.

“You miss me? The fuck do you mean you miss me? Oscar you fucking cheated on me with my sister. Everything that ruined our relationship was because of your selfish ass.” I stand up in disbelief noticing my fists balled and my body trembling in anger “because of you I don’t and will never talk to her anymore, because of you we aren’t the happy family I hoped for, and because of you Zander has to ask why daddy can’t come stay with us” I yell. His nostrils flare as he stands tall above me

“You done?”

“Am I done? Are you-“ I watch as his big brown eyes roll to the back of his head as I keep running off at the mouth. All of a sudden I’m cut short when his large hand is pressed to the top of my behind pulling our bodies close and his lips seal any leftover space between us. His kiss was like the first time, so mesmerizing, so sweet. I can’t help but place my hands on his shoulder while the other sits on the back of his neck. Oscar picks me up by my thighs where I feel his bulge pressing against my center. I try to grind down on it but he moans slapping the side of my behind. I’m pressed between Oscar and the stove feeling him grind against my gushing pussy.

He moves to my ear leaving a small kiss before whispering “Mi linda muñeca, te romperé” I let out a small moan just barely above my breath. I feel his lips curl into a smile against my neck.

“Please fuck me” I beg. Oscar drops his pants and I pull off my underwear. Just like old times he fills me up and puts my leg on his shoulder. My other leg hangs off his waist as he grabs the back of my neck pulling me closer. Oscar drops his head on my chest holding me close while plowing me out. It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever experienced and I can feel how bad he misses me. I ball up his shirt in my hand as he relentlessly plowing on my g-spot making me see stars “Oscar” I moan

“That’s it baby say my name. Whos making your pussy quiver like this”

“You fuck” he pulls my other leg on his shoulder somehow going deeper inside of me. Oscar speeds up his rhythm and I wince at the small pain but the pleasure feels so food to even speak on it. Oscar plants his lips on mine in a sloppy kiss and rubs my clit with his thumb making my hips jerk.

“I’m gonna cum” I warn biting my lip. I bring him close to me as our bodies move in sync bringing us to our highs. Oscar keeps a tight grip on my quivering thigh as my juices leak onto him and his inside of me. Oscar sucks on my neck moaning and groaning as he penetrates every drop of his cum into me. I run my fingers through his very short hair as he finally starts to slow down.

After a few more pumps he stops breathing heavily on my neck. I pull his face up to mine kissing him sweetly. My throat is dry from the moaning. “Can you stay the night please”

“Yea of course”

“And I need you to carry me I can’t walk” I laugh.

“Yes ma’am” he pulls up his pants buttoning them and sipping them up before pulling down his shirt. He picks me up taking me upstairs. I pull off my clothes not even bothering with pajamas. Oscar strips down to his boxers getting in the bed curling up next to me.

He turns on his side and I wrap my leg around his waist and my arm intertwined with his. “I feel like a backpack” I laugh. Oscar lets out a small rumble

“I hate you” he snickers

....

I wake up to terrible cramps in my stomach and I turn trying to push them away. The sun shines bright on my eyes forcing me to wake up. I sit up feeling more cramps hit. This is weird. I feel a warm wet feeling between my legs and pull over the covers seeing a substantial amount of blood on the sheets and in my lower body. “Oscar” I tap his arm and he stirs in his sleep turning his head to me. Eyes still closed.

“Oscar wake up” I grab my phone alarmed dialing my moms number

He finally opens those pretty hazel eyes and sees I’m in a panic “que pasa mamacita?”

“I’m bleeding and cramping really bad and I don’t know why?” He jolts up and sees the blood

“Is it your period?”

“No that already happened this month” I’m starting to get squeamish and antsy. My mom finally picks up “hey honey”

“Hey mom I need you to watch Zander I need to go to the hospital” Oscar comes around to my side of the bed and I stand up with his help. I double over in pain as another cramp comes my way.

“Why what’s wrong”

“I don’t know I just need you around here ASAP”

“I’m on my way” I hang up and go into the bathroom cleaning myself up and showering. “Jesus it hurts so bad” I say washing the blood off of me. Oscar is standing there swigging some mouth wash. I step out and he holds onto me so I don’t faint.

I brush my teeth and hear the doorbell ring “that’s my mom” he groans rolling his eyes. Oscar leaves going downstairs to open the door. I finish and go into my room grabbing some fresh underwear and a bra. I grab some leggings and a t-shirt and some crocs. I pull the sheets and Oscar and my mom both appear in the frame.

“Don’t worry about that I’ll have that done for you just go” she says. I hug her thanking her. Oscar walks with me downstairs.

“There’s a lot of pressure down there” I say. His eyes go wide because the last time he heard that I was in labor.

“Aw shit” he picks me up taking me outside. Oscar locks the door and I walk to the car getting in. He gets in on the drivers side backing out and I take a deep breath.

...

“So what seems to be the issue today?” The male doctor asks. Oscar studies him intently.

“Uhhh my period happened 2 weeks ago and shouldn’t happen for the rest of the month but I’m bleeding and cramping pretty bad” I say

“Ok have you been sexually active in the 24-48 hours?” I look to Oscar and he looks at me with a smirk

“Yes last night”

“Ok do you mind if I take a look?”

“Please” he puts on a fresh pair of gloves and I place my legs in the stirrups. The doctor goes down examining everything and he inserts two fingers inside of me which is highly uncomfortable. I can oscars hand trying to breathe through it. He touches my cervix and I gasp squeezing oscars hand.

“Your vagina is somewhat swollen and your cervix is bruised. That’s mainly caused my penetration”

“So excuse my language but you mean to tell me he beat my pussy up so bad that it’s now bruised?”

“Yes correct” he chuckles “we can prescribe you some for the cramps but other than that no penetration too crazy for the next 2 weeks just to be safe”

“2 weeks?!” Oscar speaks up

“Yes” he removes his gloves throwing them away

“You damn sure won’t be touching me for 2 weeks”

“I’ll write up something for you. Be safe” he leaves the room and I hit Oscar in his chest.

“Damn mami what you hit me for?”

“You bruised my cervix. It’s already bad enough your sons fat ass head just like yours tore my vagina and now you beat it up so much that it’s bruised” I’m completely shocked

“Well I mean shit the way you were moaning sounded like you didn’t want me to stop”

“I swear on everything I’ll kick your ass” the doctor comes back in with the note for my medicine

“Here’s this I sent it in and you guys are good to go” he leaves back out and I grab my leggings

“I’m glad I did it rather than some other asshole” he says

“If I could I’d kick you right now” I roll my eyes

[wsgeon]

hey everyone! ummm this is peyton (also the mun of lee hyeon) taking a second shot at a second character — i have a lot of muse for this one, so i swear he’ll be around for a while… 🥵 this is ryu geon, yes his name rhymes with hyeon’s & no i do not care ♥️ he’s the lead guitarist/vocalist of meta and also the son of a former nobody rockstar, but i’ll get into all that below! like this post if you’d like for me to come into your ims to plot, click the read more for more info on geon, and/or click here to be taken to his pages: CAREER, DOSSIER, PINTEREST.

HISTORY.

born in autumn ‘97 to a “budding rockstar” (translation: “no yeah i swear our band’s really starting to take off, we sold twenty-three tickets to our last show!”) & a woman with commitment issues ♥️ geon’s dad always told him that his mom left because she had some dire matters that needed to be taken care of and SWORE that she cried the last time she held her dear baby boy, but all of his dad’s bandmates say that she was just some groupie and had to be persuaded into carrying her child to term… who can say for sure?

naturally, there are no pictures of this mystery woman. there was one (1) of her holding infant geon, but then he found out that that was actually a sound tech who worked for his dad’s band… and he just never corrected geon’s assumptions LOLLLL

anyway! he was always really close to his dad, considering they were a two-person family. he has a set of grandparents, an aunt and a couple cousins but they were never involved with geon’s life because his dad is the #blacksheep of the family. geon and his dad against the world, am i right?

uhhh geon was also kind of a black sheep growing up, but he didn’t really notice? he was a happy kid, very energetic and enthusiastic. a lot of adults in the area looked down on him & his dad, but he was SOOOO blind to it because his dad’s a god in his eyes and HE’S always been nice to everyone, so why would they not like him??? because his clothes smelled a little like dad’s cigarette smoke??? big deal

wasn’t troublesome (beyond talking too much), but a lot of people still expected bad things from him :/ “his father’s a dirtbag, i’ll be surprised if that boy doesn’t end up in jail by 20”, “he won’t amount to anything without a proper role model in his life”, “his dad is teaching him how to slack off”, “he won’t contribute anything to society”, etc. he kindaaa picked up on this as he got older but pretended not to because it was more rewarding to play dumb and keep being a good kid(tm) to prove them wrong

was basically a mini version of his dad. same style, similar features, birthmarks in the same places, same “live today, die tomorrow” approach in life, same affinity for singing & playing rock music. ummm he loved his dad a lot. a lot. a lot. wanted to make him proud SO BAD, started his first band when he was 15 and they sucked so bad but his dad was their biggest fan… you know how it is. a lot of people misunderstood him, but he was a very good guy and such a great parent

TW DEATH unfortunately he passed away just shy of geon’s 18th birthday and your boy still hasn’t forgiven the world for taking his dad when he was in the middle of his angsty teen phase — had he known that their time together was dwindling, he would’ve been so so so much better to him END TW

his dad’s band actually rocketed into the charts after he passed & suddenly they were getting loads of publicity, lots of “what a shame that he went under-appreciated” which pissed geon off SOOOO bad because why couldn’t they have had that energy when he was still alive? he’s still mad about it five/six years later

this is getting kinda long, so uhhh tl;dr, he ended up staying with the drummer of his dad’s band until he was old enough to live alone/READY to live alone, but he changed quite a bit. was really going through it, quit his band, stopped putting effort into school. barely graduated. went from being a social butterfly spending every weekend at a gig or with friends to spending all of his time on a pc or in front of a tv, playing console games. the internet comforted him when nobody else would/could and then he met the future members of meta <33333333 #newbeginnings

present day geon is still struggling, has to go to counseling bi-weekly but he’s coming back out of his shell! he wants to fall in love with life again, just wants to tread carefully... outgoing & will talk to absolutely anyone, but he still spends most of his time alone. hard to reach by text, so if you wanna talk to him, you better call/facetime LMAO. talks a mile a minute, especially if you get him going abt something he really likes. laughs a lot, smiles a lot, more habitual than actual signs of happiness but yk. ummm he has a really loud voice, mostly controlled nowadays but he still gets carried away sometimes. an absolute menace during long drives/flights, sorry meta.

funny but only when he’s in large groups. feeds off of other peoples’ energy, really good at reading a room and breaking the ice/making everyone comfortable, but if you meet him 1-on-1, none of his jokes land quite the same.

i envision him as being the kind of guy who carries himself in such a way that you’d assume he’s really popular/out of reach/maybe even full of himself, but he’s... not like that... at all... in fact, he’s kinda irritating when you get to know him. the personification of a flood followed by a drought and vice versa, always either too much or not enough. gets used/ghosted/dropped/dumped/whatever a lot because he’s soooo fun in the moment (if he isn’t in his feelings), but draining long-term.

really emotionally intelligent, in touch with his feelings in a way that a lot of people never thought he would be (probably thanks to counseling tbh). he’s very very rarely the type of person who will make you wonder what your place in his life is — he’s communicative, kind, honest. ummm he thinks that intimacy between friends needs to be more common, so he’s really affectionate with the people in his life. type of guy to tell you he loves you every chance he gets (calling you when he’s drunk, sounding like a clingy ex type beat) & greet you/depart with a hug. losing his dad kinda fucked him up in the way that he won’t leave/hang up until his friends say “i love you” back, gets kinda (re: very) upset if he’s denied that and/or a hug.

TRIVIA.

has been playing the guitar “longer than he’s been walking” (not really, but he swears it’s true).

uhhh he really likes nail art, but he’s kinda hesitant in what he tries? mainly sticks to black polish (or other plain colors), but sometimes he’ll get little designs added in as well. mainly does it himself because he still doesn’t feel comfortable in salons... if his work looks bad, leave him alone <3 he’s trying

inspired by people like kurt cobain, nicky wire, yungblud, billie joe armstrong & damiano david in the fact that he’s not against wearing dresses or skirts on stage. doesn’t do it ALL the time, but often enough that it doesn’t go unnoticed. some people say that he does it for attention because he doesn’t dress like that elsewhere and tbh they’re probably kinda right

interested in history (only SOME... dinosaurs, ancient civilizations, specialized areas like the history of circuses/clowns/skateboarding/punk, stuff like that yk), stand-up comedy & documentaries. could spend a whole day watching documentaries and would say he had fun, has a lot of useless knowledge that nobody gives a fuck about and is kinda dumb when it comes to things that matter

when it comes to music, he prefers playing really fast and heavy rock or punk over anything else, but he actually listens to a lot more soft indie on his own time... he’s too tense these days to be listening to anything else RIPPP

the vibe: homemade tie-dye, ripped slipknot t-shirts, frosted tips, neon crocs with alien & peace-sign charms, chipped black nail polish, calloused hands, cheesy pick-up lines used NOT to land a date but to pull a smile, driving until he’s lost, stupid socks paired with pressed suits, dramatic poetry in an iphone note, etc. 

PLOT IDEAS.

people he met through online support groups about coping with grief

uhhh an on & off relationship that’s been going for who-knows-how-long. the reason for this is up for discussion, but i imagine that he hasn’t given up yet because the constant highs and lows are a good source of inspo 🤪 artists must suffer for their art!

opposite side of the coin — someone he’s interested in, but he’s NOT disloyal so it’s a pattern of persistent courting when he’s single vs intense friend-zoning when he’s not and they’re getting tired of trying to figure out what he wants from them

someone else who likes nail art & can convince him that NOBODY cares if he goes to a salon

someone (probably female but doesn’t really matter tbh) who feels like his feminism is entirely performative… maybe they attack him directly for it or maybe they just REALLY don’t like him and they’re super vague about it idk. either way, please tell him that activism is much more than recommending one female artist a year and saying “clothes have no gender 🤪” so he can be praised for the bare minimum (his heart is in the right place but his skull is empty)

someone super introverted who comes out of their shell with geon! uhhh maybe they think that he’s the one doing them a favor, but in reality spending time with them has been doing wonders for his mental health

other people who like to skate. let’s congregate at the local skatepark and scare the middle schoolers away

someone who inspires him musically, for whatever reason. lots of late nights in studios, idly strumming his guitar and writing lyrics that definitely aren’t about how their eyes look in these dim lights… umm maybe he thinks he has a crush on them but really doesn’t and ends up hurting them eventually, maybe he really DOES have a crush but will (probably) never do anything abt it or maybe it’s entirely platonic and he just admires them a ridiculous amount

someone who likes to make music as a hobby, prob won’t publish/release any of it but it’s fun to imagine. spontaneous meetings with geon in the middle of the night, recording songs together and keeping the WORST takes for the laughs. there’s probably a diss-track of them going in on each other floating around somewhere even though geon can’t rap for shit

night owls who keep him company on the phone, even if they can’t be there physically. them talking really quietly vs geon shouting at them while he plays games LMAO

gaming buddies. come over, maybe you can carry geon through his game of the week or you can both fail but have fun while you’re at it… or you can scream while he fends off that hoard of zombies behind you

i’m typing this at the last minute (literally) so i’m gonna stop here, but i will get a proper plots page put up asap with a wider variety of connections!!! but as always, please do let me know if you have any other ideas. i’m always happy to plot and write with you all 🌚

[tarysande]

Follow the...

wardrobe department?

A tale of dissecting the chronology of a trailer (in which chronology is made up and the voiceover definitely matters—but doesn’t always align).

LUCIFER SEASON 5 TRAILER SPOILERS AHOY.

Me: I avoid spoilers!! Don’t spoil me!!

Also Me: Hark! Is that a trailer I see before me?? Better analyze it frame by frame!

So, the truth is, I don’t know most of the other BTS stuff and I really don’t want to. I haven't seen the episode titles. I do know Neil Gaiman’s not ... reprising his role. I’m going on ONLY what’s in the trailer, so some of this speculation may already be wrong.

First: a moment of AWWWWWWW YEAAAAAHHHHH because I’ve wanted Twin!Michael for years.

Okay. Moving on.

Trailers are not chronological. They are magic tricks, designed to manipulate their audience.

Now, chronologically, the crime scene with Ella is at (or very near) the beginning because I’m preeetty sure the victim is Mr. Said Out Bitch (RIP; obviously they did not think they were getting a S6!). It’s hard to make out exactly what Chloe is wearing. Dark jacket, dark shirt with a t-shirt-like collar.

Okay, we know this is Lucifer; we know this is what he was wearing when he went to Hell. Very, very, glowing in the black light white shirt. This could be at the beginning? We assume it is because of how it’s placed right after the goodbye from s4, anyway.

Look how haggard he looks. Like, Lucifer. You need some sleep, buddy. Those dark circles have dark circles. My heart hurts.

Okay wtf, my heart hurts here, too. We assume that Chloe’s pajama(?) stakeout and drinking/dancing and her looking up (and looking super sad on what I think is Lucifer’s balcony) are part of the “since you’ve been gone (everything sucks)” montage. 

I will say it’s very possible that “shots at the bar” happens after “crime scene with Ella.” Chloe’s wearing a black jacket and Maze’s arm is bare. Perhaps this night of drowning sorrows (again) is what leads to the conversation (the next day, I think) between Chloe and Maze (“We don’t need him”). In that scene with Maze, Chloe’s wearing a pinstripe blazer and grey t-shirt. Which is important, because that’s the outfit she’s wearing here (in what I would guess is Mr. Said Out Bitch’s home):

I know the assumption is that this is Michael. Although, I wonder how Michael knows the crime-solving Devil song, and the mannerisms (tugging on the sleeves, “Hello, bad guys” as he strolls in) are definitely Lucifer’s. As is the outfit, which is a perfect mirror of the one Lucifer wears in Hell: black suit, white shirt with texture, red pocket square. (Also, no evidence of Michael’s injury.)

Other questions: If he’s so good at playing Lucifer here, why isn’t anyone taken in by him when the grey sateen shirt (hold that thought) appears? Where has Michael been? Why is he here now?

So, I think it’s the combination of his non(?)-reaction to Chloe kissing him and the expression on his face that Michael this up, right? That it’s shown while Michael is voiceover monologuing is also an indicator (but could just as easily be a misdirect because Michael’s not speaking in the image in front of us, and it’s not like we’ve never seen Lucifer make this kind of face before).

(Incidentally, the non-reaction to the kiss could also be seen as in-character for Lucifer; he can’t be sure of his reception, which also plays well with his hello-bad-guys/cocky-to-cover-insecure entrance.)

If it is Michael in the shooting/hug scene, he may START by playing Lucifer perfectly, but that degenerates.

We know this is Michael. There’s some evidence of Michael’s injury in the unevenness of the shoulders. It is NOT a white shirt. It is a grey shirt with a bit of shine; sateen, if you will. We’re going to see a lot of this shirt.

Michael: grey sateen shirt. Also, Chloe’s wearing the white and black striped (VERY FUNNY, COSTUMING DEPT.) shirt she’s wearing when she tells Linda that Lucifer is acting different—so we assume this is the day(?) after Michael shows up. (There’s also a slight possibility that his Lucifer 2.0 bit is his introduction.)

Michael. Black wings. TINY STRIP OF GREY SHIRT at the wrist. So, we assume this happens right after the previous Chloe-with-Gun moment. Michael might want to mess with his brother, but he doesn’t want Chloe to die—there’s even some protective head cradling. So. There’s that.

Michael. Lux. Still the grey sateen shirt. Important: Amenadiel is wearing a shirt and tie. 

In the bit where he’s (presumably) talking to Lucifer in Hell (“He’s stronger than you think.”), he’s wearing the same Lux-grey-sateen-shirt-Michael suit and tie. I’m guessing Amenadiel was like “Do not pass Go, do not collect $200″ and pops down to Hell ASAP.

The “He is stronger than you think” line also makes me wonder if Lucifer hasn’t worried—or even thought—about Michael because he believed his twin was broken beyond the possibility of being a threat (presumably by Lucifer; I think there’s a Rebellion-related, bad-blood, mutually-assured-destruction story behind Michael’s injuries). That hubris/pride is pretty much what gets Lucifer into 925% of his problems, after all, so it would be in character. 

Oh, Luci. Why do you assume you’re the smartest in the room? Soon that attitude may be your doom. 

Michael is ALSO wearing the grey sateen shirt when Maze shows up and he admits he’s not Lucifer. A lot happens on the day of the grey sateen shirt. To me, this means everyone’s onto him right from the beginning. Also, it means the trailer is pulling pretty heavily from just this one out of the eight episodes. The first episode, unless I miss my guess.

Now, going by wardrobe, we enter a very jumbled section. We’ll call this the Dark Days of the Turtleneck.

During the Dark Days of the Turtleneck, we see Michael fight with Amenadiel in the time-stopped precinct. One assumes Michael’s not even pretending to be Lucifer anymore because ... turtleneck? Bloody hell, might as well be board shorts and Crocs. Note: Michael is NOT wearing (Lucifer’s) ring, here.

Again, the voiceover is misleading because suit-and-tie Amenadiel in Lux and Hell wouldn’t have had a chance to fight (wearing a red jacket) with Turtleneck Michael yet.

At yet another point, we see grey-knit Amenadiel fight with zip-up-halter Maze. Whatever’s going on, Amenadiel is getting around (on different days). And apparently everyone is mad at him.

Okay, so this happens after Michael’s had time to “make a mess.” Of what sort, though? I mean, the penthouse looks fine, so ... what haven’t we seen? What has happened between grey sateen shirt Michael and brown blazer turtleneck Michael? Note: Michael’s also not wearing (Lucifer’s) ring, here. I think Michael’s true lack of fashion sense is turtlenecks and roomy blazers. Yikes.

Well, we assume it’s a mess of Lucifer’s life on earth ... but is that possible? All the evidence points to pretty much everyone knowing sateen-shirt Michael isn’t Lucifer right away, so how could he have had the time or the leverage to make a mess that involves them? 

And if Michael doesn’t mean he made a mess of Lucifer’s life on earth, does he mean a more far-reaching mess? A much older mess? Something celestial? Something involving Hell? Something involving the Rebellion (have they seen each other since?)? Something involving God? Something involving whatever or whoever the REAL Big Bad of the season is (because I really doubt it’s Michael)?

How long has Michael been ... watching? stalking? Lucifer? Has he been involved in any of the other stuff that’s happened over the years? Was he the one who let Mum out of her cell?

But MOST IMPORTANT: How does he know the crime-fighting-devil song????

Well, whatever that mess is, Lucifer’s pretty pissed off about it. 

White shirt, white wings is Lucifer (he was also wearing his black jacket, but not a red pocket square. Note: he has had time to remove his jacket and put his wings away before throwing a punch!). TRAGIC turtleneck under a blazer (with different-colored trousers) and the obvious injury is Michael. But it’s not grey-turtleneck Michael—more than one turtleneck, how dare—so we’re at a different time, chronologically speaking. Could be before Michael’s precinct-fight with Amenadiel, even; we don’t know the chronology of those turtlenecks. We just know Michael, for some unknown reason, chooses them. 

Later:

Okay, I think these two scenes happen in the same episode; Chloe’s outfit is the same. And I think that episode happens a bit later in the chronology. Why?

‘Cause Chloe doesn’t have bangs, yo. And anyone who’s tried to grow out bangs can tell you IT DOESN’T HAPPEN OVERNIGHT.

Head-scratching brown suit aside, that’s Lucifer and not Michael. Because this has to be after Michael has shown his true turtleneck colors. Lucifer also seems to have trimmed down his post-hell angst-beard. 

Chloe’s hand-injury is probably from that explosion. Her heart-wrenching anguish, though? I don’t know what caused it, but my hurt/comfort-loving little heart wants it now.

We have no idea what Michael’s doing at this point: we don’t see Michael with no-bangs Chloe.

Which leaves the scenes that have had Twitter freaking out for most of the day:

This might be after black-shirt-Chloe-anguish-explosion. I know it looks like bangs, but I think it could also be hair-pushed-behind ears; in the shot where you see her standing in front of the elevator, her “bangs” look long enough to be tamed into a no-bang ponytail. But then ... no hand injury. 

It could also be a dream (looking at you “Love Handles”) or a Hell-torment. 

In any case, it is 1000% Lucifer and not Michael. Every single moment of every single micro-expression is entirely That Look Lucifer Only Gives To Chloe Decker (I wrote a thread about this on Twitter today), and Michael is just NOT that good an actor.

I actually find this shot more baffling. It’s Lucifer’s shirt; it has men’s-shirt buttons. Is it a morning after? (But not the morning after the wall scene, because Lucifer was wearing a black shirt there.)

Is this a dream?? A HELL TORMENT?? Look, I just do not trust anything that looks like something the fans have wanted so badly. We were all there for elevator dream sex and Lucifer wing dream reveal. We know how these people work!

(Granted, they also sometimes give us axe scenes and beach kisses, but...)

I have about 32634 things to say about LIGHT AND DARK TWIN BROTHERS IS EVERYTHING and also FURTHER EVIDENCE OF QUESTIONABLE CREATION/PARENTING, but I’ve already been working on this for hours, and that screaming is, I think, best reserved for another post. 

In conclusion, ahh the sweet, sweet song of hyperfixation. I missed you, buddy. You and your neurotransmitters. Welcome back.

For now, I’m just gonna tricycle off to hell in anticipation of August 21st.

.

.

.

Guys, seriously, how the hell does Michael know the crime-solving-devil song???????

[p-artsypants]

I’ll Handle This (6)

In Which Plagg is Annoying

So, my beloved Fiancé really likes Magic: The Gathering. He’s taught me how to play it, and talks about it a lot, but I still don’t really understand it. It’s a complicated game. So this chapter has sections of me purposefully badly explaining the game, sorry if that bothers you lol. 

Ao3 | FF.net

—

Adrien awoke curled in a ball. His bed was extremely soft, and he sunk right into it. 

Oh, except it was a pillow. He was still in Plagg’s tiny Kwami body. Great. 

He yawned and stretched, realizing that he was alone in his bed. 

“Plagg?” He asked the room. 

There was no answer, but the bathroom door was closed. 

Plagg was most likely getting him ready, or his human body, ready for school. 

Before Adrien could imagine the worst case scenario, the bathroom door opened, and Plagg emerged. 

Adrien stared, and then declared loudly, “NO.” 

“Yes!” Said Plagg, flouncing into Adrien’s closet. 

“How—why? When?!” 

Plagg brought his pre-chosen outfit into the main room, and started to get dressed, carefully slipping the purple tiger striped shirt over his expertly gelled Mohawk. 

“Did you not see me buy that ultra super strong hair gel yesterday?” 

“I didn’t see anything you bought yesterday,” said Adrien with frustration. “I was in your pocket the whole time, remember?” 

“Oh, then you’re in for a treat!” He slipped on an over shirt, that was black with orange leopard spots. 

“Oh god...”

“You should have been more careful about what you brought home from shoots,” Plagg sang. “Love the leopard spots. Though I’m just a black cat, mixing up my coat on occasion would be fun.” 

“I kept that shirt because I thought it was funny, or it would be good for a costume. You can’t honestly wear it!” 

Plagg blew him a raspberry. “Oh suck it up buttercup! It’ll be fine!” 

Adrien watched with other things on his mind as Plagg finished dressing. Brown pants, rolled up with mismatched argyle socks, and then the same green sunglasses to cover his cat eyes.

“I think I have a photo shoot with Lila after school,” said Adrien. 

“And?” 

“And you should probably attend it. I know you want to piss off my dad and blow off responsibilities that aren’t Miraculous related, but modeling is my job. I’m still under a contract and I get paid for it. That money goes to my college fund, which I intend to use to pick my own career.” 

“What’s one missed shift to the son of the company?”

“A strike against me, and a loss of around a thousand euros.” 

Plagg swiveled his head to look at him. “That much? Is Lila making that too?” 

“No.” Adrien chuckled. “I am in high demand and so I make more. She makes around 15 euros an hour. That’s why she always drags photoshoots on for so long. Me and some of the other models get paid per gig.” 

Plagg scoffed. “That’s stupid.” 

“So will you behave for three hours?” 

“No,” said Plagg, smoothing his shirt and hair. “But I’ll participate in the shoot and play nice with the photographer. Lila, on the other hand, I have plans for.” 

Adrien looked at him warily. “...alright.” 

Doing a once-over, Plagg declared, “just one more accessory, the piece de resistance...” he reached into a plastic bag from his shopping yesterday. 

Adrien gaped in horror. “NO. NO NO NO!” 

—

Gabriel walked from the kitchen back to his office, coffee mug in hand. Dealing with Adrien’s rebellion had been a PR nightmare, but he was able to spin Adrien’s outfit yesterday, as out of character as it was, as merely a phase. A phase which he would grow out of soon, but one that was necessary for Adrien to grow, to explore his own style, to learn fashion in his own mind. The media ate it up, and several articles would be coming out in the next week or so. 

Then the boy in question streaked by him in a kaleidoscope of color. 

Gabriel sputtered on his coffee, staining his suit with the brown liquid, but not caring a bit.

“Adrien?!” He shouted, beyond horrified. He couldn’t tell what was worse, the patterns? The colors? The hair? NO. 

“Where did you get crocs?” Gabriel asked, as Adrien reached the unfortunately unlocked door. 

He turned for just a second, long enough to shout. “Ask my butt, old man!” Before the door shut behind him. 

Gabriel had to call those magazines back. 

—

Plagg arrived at school, drawing the attention of every student mingling there. Some stared in horror, while others held in laughter. 

A student passed Plagg and raised a fist. “Nice duds, dude! Stick it to the man!” 

Plagg responded with a gleeful grin and matching fist bump. 

“Oh my god,” said Nino, as he arrived. “You look amazing.”

“My dad spilled coffee on himself this morning, and the look on his face was totally worth it.”

“God, I wish I could have been there.” Nino sighed. 

“It was pretty amazing, not going to lie.” 

“Oh, while we have a second...I was hoping to have a sleepover this weekend. Marinette and Alya would come over for the evening, and then leave in time for dude’s night. You in?” 

“Just you and me?” 

“Yeah, if that’s cool.” 

“Absolutely! After school tomorrow?” 

“Yeah! Marinette said your schedule was open.” 

“Marinette knew that? I didn’t even know that.” 

“I think she keeps track of that stuff for class activities.” He cleared his throat, not looking at him. “And for no other reason besides that.” 

Plagg chuckled to himself. God, Nino was the worst liar. “I understand. Someone’s got to know my schedule if I don’t.” 

“Marinette is the best, after all.” Nino puffed up his chest, doing his damndest to be a good wingman. 

Plagg didn’t think he needed to try so hard, but props. “She is the best, isn’t she?” 

Nino smiled widely, like he had a secret joke that wouldn’t make sense to anyone. 

A pair of arms wound around his own, squeezing tightly like a boa constrictor. “Good morning Adrien!” Lila chirped. 

“Morning,” Plagg returned, playing casual in front of Nino. 

“I need to talk to you about the photoshoot after school.” She turned to Nino. “Can I borrow your buddy for a minute?” 

“You can have him for five minutes.” Nino winked. 

Lila giggled, sounding pretty realistic to an untrained ear. “Thanks Nino!” Without waiting for Plagg’s permission, she dragged him away to a sequestered corner of the courtyard. 

Before Plagg could even ask what was in her mind, she turned and faced him, expression full of vitriol and rage. It was not a face he’d seen on many mortals. 

“Don’t think I can’t see what you’re trying to do, Adrien.” Her voice was cold, sharp, and harsh. 

Adrien shivered in Plagg’s pocket. 

“And that would be...?”

“Trying to weasel your way out of our little agreement.” 

Plagg blinked, remembering the arrangement they had prepared a while ago. It’s what had gotten Marinette un-expelled. Just schmooze with the brat and she’d leave Marinette alone. But it was very apparent she was ready to take any violation of this agreement as an invitation to jump right back into her conniving ways. 

Plagg would hold out for now, play the long game. He had a plan, and if that failed for some unexplainable reason, then he had another one lined up. It was just a matter of finding out what bait Lila would take. 

He feigned a gasp, as well as she would, and laid a hand on his chest. “Oh Lila, whatever are you talking about? I’m just having a little disagreement with my dear old dad. It’s nothing against you! Honest!” 

She squinted at him. “You’re still on the schedule to model with me later today, so I’m assuming you didn’t actually quit modeling. If you had, this would have turned sour.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Modeling is our ‘fun friendship’ activity, and if you try to get out of it, I’m going to assume you don’t care about Marinette after all.” She shrugged. 

He laughed, a dark sinister laugh that didn’t belong on his handsome, sweet, cherubic face. “You mortals are just so cute when you think you can win against me.”

The look on Lila’s face was perfect. Part confused, part terrified. “What?” 

He spoke with a voice older than time, conjuring magics from the ancient unknowns. “Dos valok th’um krosis!” 

“Did...did you just cast a spell on me?” 

“I don’t know, you tell me. How do your lips feel?” 

She pursed her lips. “I don’t know, a little—“ 

“CHAPPED?” Provided Plagg, with a shit-eating grin. 

“Oh my god.” 

“Do not test me, Lila Rossi. You won’t win.” He gave her a pleasant little smile. 

She stared in bewilderment, before chuckling right back. “Boy, you had me for a second.” She pulled out a tube of chapstick and applied some. “Are you trying to psych me out? Cause it’s not going to work.” 

“Well darn,” said Plagg with a little snap of his fingers. “Thought my necromancy could spook you off. Well, if that didn’t do it, I guess you really do want to be my friend, no matter how quirky I can be.” He gave a happy little sigh. 

Lila was immediately suspicious. “Sure, I want to be your friend...?” It wasn’t supposed to be a question, but Lila wasn’t convinced. 

Unless Adrien really was that naïve. 

“Great!” Plagg clapped. “I have to go talk to Marinette, but we’ll hang out at the shoot! It’s going to be so much fun!” And he hurried off. 

Lila narrowed her eyes back in his direction. There was definitely fishy about that exchange. She couldn’t very well text Gabriel and say, “there’s something suspicious about your son. He actually wants to be my friend. Also he chapped my lips.” That would be too confusing and send all the wrong messages. 

So she resigned to wait until the photoshoot after all. Since, of course, he couldn’t keep up this act for several hours in a row. She could, but she was a professional. 

Her musings came to a halt as she heard the wonderful noise of Marinette’s scream. “MY EYES!!” 

Lila hurried from her nook to find out what had happened. Had someone sprayed her with mace? Pocket sand? 

No. Adrien was merely striking poses in front of her, and she had recoiled in horror. 

“Adrien!” She stated, aghast. “How could you?!” 

He posed again, butt in her direction. “You like?” 

“It’s foul. Are those crocs?!”

“Yep! I contemplated on getting the little ladybug plugs for the holes, but I didn’t really think it was worth it. After all, how often do you look at a man’s feet?” 

“In that outfit, it’s going to be too hard to tell what part is the worst.” Her eyes bounced over the competing patterns and made her dizzy. “Well here,” she handed over a hanger covered with a trash bag. “Your sin against fashion has been committed. I’m willing to do more, but don’t attach my name to it.” 

Adrien just laughed. “Don’t worry, Pooh Bear, your secret is safe with me.” 

Lila’s lips curled in disgust at the nickname. Obviously, she would tell Gabriel that Marinette was enabling his behavior. Maybe she could spin it as her influence all together. Yes, yes, that would work. Two stones and all that. 

—

After school, Lila rode with Adrien to the photoshoot. 

Boy, if she wanted a taste of what the day would be like, she certainly got it. And she should have taken the chance to run. 

“So Nino and I started playing this game with the guys in class,” Adrien had begun, without so much as a greeting. “Have you heard of Magic: The Gathering?” 

“...no?”

“Oh okay, so I’ll tell you all about it.” 

As a master manipulator, Lila understood the masterful art of conversation. There were several strategies she had developed over the years. Her favorite was ‘talk passionately and allow for natural lulls in explanation so they can ask questions’. It made people feel engaged and kept them coming back for more, while she was perceived as interesting and smart, but also humble.

However, it seemed that Adrien was utilizing the beginners mistake of ‘poorly explain a subject you’re not really passionate about without letting the other person talk’. Like an underpaid substitute teacher filling in for a class they don’t know much about.

“So like, there are these cards with different landscapes on them, and they’re all different based on color, right? So there’s water or islands for blue and mountains and stuff for red, right? And each one is worth mana. And you have to use mana to play a card. Except for lands, I think. You can play those whenever, except you have to draw them, you can’t just go searching through your deck. Unless a card tells you you can.” 

Finally, they arrived at the shoot, and Lila nearly fell out of the car in her haste to get away for some peace and quiet, just for a second. 

Who knew that boy could talk so much? 

—

Plagg and his mohawk were led to the makeup trailer. Thankfully for the hairstylist, it came with a salon sink, so Adrien didn’t have to go home and shower. 

“Sorry, Mr. Agreste,” the stylist said as she draped a cape on him. “We have to flatten the mohawk.” 

“That’s alright,” Plagg assured with a polite smile. “It served its purpose.”

“It was very well done, honestly,” she said with a laugh. “For not having the sides of your head shaved, that is.” 

“I had to work with what I had.” 

The stylist just hummed in understanding, as she started to rinse his hair, the gel melting and washing down the drain. 

The stylist sighed, and gave a little huff to herself. 

Plagg normally wouldn’t care, but if his meddling had inconvenienced someone else’s job, that would reflect poorly on Adrien. So, he asked. “Is everything alright?”

“Umm...” she paused, biting her lip. “Look, we’re friends right?” 

Plagg didn’t even know this person’s name. “Of course.” 

“Are you close to Miss Rossi? I know you guys are friends...” 

“I hate her guts.” Plagg declared with a broad smile. 

“Oh good!” She relaxed. “I really really hate working on her. And so does everyone else, and last time she was here, she was just—Ugh, the worst. I got so frustrated because Giuseppe and your father like her, so even if I complained, nothing would happen. Likely, I’m the one that would get in trouble. You remember Alexander, right? The lighting assistant?” 

No. Not one bit. “Yeah?” 

“Well, she yelled at him one time during a shoot, in the back. Apparently, she wanted coffee and he wouldn’t get it for her, even though that’s soooo not his job. So she complained to Giuseppe and got him fired! Honestly, I don’t know how he didn’t get akumatized over that.” 

“I don’t either!” Plagg said, with surprise. “I knew she was a pain, but yikes...” 

“I think you’re a really cool kid, Adrien. But she’s going around and telling everyone you got her this job and—“ she sighed. “People are getting resentful.” 

Now Plagg was mad. It was immediately apparent that Lila had a ‘if I can’t have them, no one can’ attitude, turning the staff on Adrien if she couldn’t win them over with her outlandish lies. Adrien couldn’t afford having that many enemies. He was too soft. 

“Actually...” Plagg began to explain how Lila had wound up with her job, lying to Nathalie and Gorilla to get access to his house, lying to his father to get on his good side, and all the things she did to Marinette, who he took the bullet for to protect. “She means a lot to me,” Plagg said, in regards to Marinette. “So I didn’t mind having to pretend to be Lila’s friend if it meant she could come back to school and not be harassed anymore. It seems that Lila has a loose form of friendship.” 

The stylist wiped her eyes. “Oh Adrien, you’ve got such a heart of gold. I’ll set everything straight with the team. Don’t you worry!” 

“I actually have a plan, that you might let everyone in on. And I apologize in advance.” 

“Lay it on me.” 

—

By time Lila was called in to get ready, Plagg had been groomed into a normal looking boy with normal looking hair and clothes. Though normal protocol usually had Lila in hair and make-up alone with the stylists, Plagg sat in a chair nearby, separated from her by a curtain. 

“Adrien? Shouldn’t you be out there?”

“Oh it’s okay, I wanted to keep telling you about this game.”

“Oh, well, you shouldn’t keep Giuseppe…”

“He won’t mind. So, there’s a bunch of colors, right? Red, Black, Green, Blue, White, and…one more. I think there’s one more.” 

A sigh was heard from the other side of the curtain. 

“No, no I was right, there’s only five. But you can combine them. But not like, mix them? It’s like, Blue-Black, and Red-Black. And Green-Blue. And so different colors have different themes, right? And the themes are different based on the set. Oh yeah, there’s different sets and Wizards of the Coast release like, two or three sets a year. I think. Like they had this one that was all about Dinosaurs and pirates. But they usually aren’t that wacky. Unless it’s a joke set. Which that one wasn’t. I can’t remember the name of it right now, but it started with an ‘I’.” And he was off, explaining all he could remember of the game, from what Adrien had told him, to what he had heard while the boys played at school. If he could find a point to elaborate on, he did. 

Every once in a while, he’d make eye contact with a staff member, who would in turn grin and give a secret thumbs up. 

He started to run out of steam while Lila was in makeup. 

Thankfully, one of the technicians with a grudge noticed, and helped him out. “Would you ever play competitively?” 

Through the mirror, Plagg could see the lightbulb go off over Lila’s head. “You know, my grandfather was one of the chess masters of the world. He won lots of tournaments, and I’m sure he’d love to give you some pointers if you were interested, Adrien.” 

The technician answered for him. “Chess? We’re talking about Magic: The Gathering. Two totally different games. The tournaments are pretty fun too, but I really enjoy playing at pre-releases. They usually only allow you to play with the set you’re buying, so you can’t look at them beforehand…” 

Plagg beamed at the guy, thrilled with how quickly he had shut Lila down. 

Lila, however, was undeterred. She met the eyes of the female stylist and just shrugged. “Boys, right? So, this weekend—“ 

“Shh,” the stylist hushed. “I’ve been trying for weeks to learn this game.” 

Lila crossed her arms and sat silently for the rest of the session.

Once the models were all dolled up, they were escorted out to the set, and Giuseppe got to work with posing. 

Here’s where Lila tried to make up for lost attention. 

“Oh Giuseppe! I had such a wonderful idea for the shoot today! Since the gardens are in full bloom—“

“Which reminds me!” Plagg snapped his fingers. “Green-Black combination cards are really unique because they create a bunch of minions. Like, the cards in them have the ability to spam the battlefield with like a bunch of little guys called tokens that take a lot of extra work to get rid of. Well, like, not a ton of extra work, because they only have like one HP, but like, it's more work then you would have had to do. Wait, white, not black. Actually, I think white is the best at tokens, my mistake.” 

Despite her best efforts, Lila could not suppress a full body eye roll. 

It was exactly what Plagg was waiting for, and he jumped in for the finisher. He turned his sad kitten eyes to her, looking like Puss in Boots from Shrek, and asked, in the most pathetic voice he could muster. “Am I annoying you?” 

Lila stared at him, as the staff and Giuseppe looked right at her, to see her response. 

“I…I…” she stammered. “N-no, not at all, Adrien. I…love hearing about this game.” 

He beamed. “Good! Because I have to tell you about my favorite combination of Blue-black. It’s really high in conditions and making things difficult for the opponents, right?” 

Lila’s nostrils flared, but she held back any other sign of frustration. It was remarkable, really. 

Plagg was quiet while Giuseppe gave directions, and during the actual shooting, but in between takes, when he didn’t have to be ‘professional’ he filled in the silence with whatever jargon he could find. He was wearing her down. 

“Alright,” Giuseppe finally said. “We’re all done with you, Lila. Now it’s just Adrien’s solo shoot. But you can stay if you like.” 

Lila was already halfway to the trailers. “I’m so sorry Giuseppe, I have somewhere I have to be this evening, so I’m going to head out. I’ll see everyone next time!” And she practically sprinted off set. 

Once she left, Giuseppe gave a loud sigh of relief. “Now let’s get some real work done.” 

—

Later that evening, when Adrien and Plagg had returned to the mansion, Adrien sat on the desk as Plagg scrolled online. Homework had been completed with ease, and it was still too early for bed.  

“What are you reading?” Adrien asked. 

“I’m trying to slog my way through the lore of that video game you like, the one with the Dragons. I have to have more ammunition the next time I deal with Lila. I almost ran out today.” 

“Is that what I sound like?”

“What?”

“You today, when you were talking about Magic. Is that what I sound like to you? Do I ramble on?” 

Plagg screwed up his lips in thought. “Mmmm, sometimes.” 

Adrien hunched in on himself. 

“But look. Culture and creative medium has grown astronomically in the last 200 years since I’ve been asleep. I want to know about what’s out there. I like hearing about things that you enjoy. Even if it is annoying sometimes, I still care about you. The reason I pulled this strategy is because Lila likes to talk, and she doesn’t like to listen. Even if I was talking passionately about something I knew a lot about, I doubt she would have cared. I hear how often she interrupts class.” 

Adrien hadn’t thought about it like that. 

“You know who Pavlov is, right?”

“Uh, the guy that did the experiment with the dog, right? He rang a bell and gave his dog a treat, and eventually the dog came to associate the bell with treats.” 

“Precisely. Humans are the same way. Knowing this principle is the easiest way to win people over. You have to make them associate you with good feelings. If you treat people well, be friendly, courteous, and funny, eventually, people will like to be around you. The same works in reverse. If I can associate myself with frustration and annoyance for Lila, she won’t want to be around me. Being straight up mean to her won’t work because she’ll see that as a challenge.”

“So you have to be subtle,” Adrien concluded.  “Thats…that’s genius.” 

“I know.” 

“So you don’t think I’m annoying?” 

Plagg rubbed him between the ears. “I only found you annoying when you would complain about Ladybug, your dad, or Lila. But now, in your shoes, I’ve realized how easy it is to get frustrated about these things. But hopefully soon enough, you won’t even have to worry about it.” 

Adrien smiled brightly. “Thanks Plagg. I hated this at first…but you really are making some progress.” 

“Told you. Now, help me pack. You have your first sleepover tomorrow night.” 

“My first sleepover, and I’m going to spend it crammed in a bag!”