#I don’t like the live action movies much except for like the music

[transgnckon]

Thought abt the little mermaid teaser trailer again & I am crying

[eternally-racing]

blind spot | lando norris (+ logan)

genre: angst (maybe fluff if you squint)

pairing: lando x reader and some logan x reader

wc: 1.7k

warnings: none

summary: at the end of season party, feelings and frustrations seem to spill over for Lando when he spots you with another driver.

----

It’s the post race party in Abu Dhabi and there’s a certain lightness filling the room. No matter whether this was a good season or a bad season for each driver, it was done and that alone was reason enough to celebrate. 

You’re used to spending the races you get to watch in McLaren hospitality thanks to your lifelong friendship with Lando. He says you’re his good luck charm, so even on weekends where you can’t make the travel work out you still find yourself up at ungodly hours in the morning to cheer him on. It’s been nice that being friends with Lando has allowed you to make friends with some of the other guys on the grid, like George and Alex, but you haven’t really put yourself out there at all. You’re here for your best friend, so you make good on your promises to stick next to him all throughout the race weekend. 

Today is an exception though, as Max has dragged Lando up to the DJ booth with him and there’s only so long you can spend right in front of the speakers before you get a headache. He hasn’t noticed your absence but that’s unsurprising to you - the club is the one place where you and Lando seem to really have your differences. He lives for the energy; the big crowds, the loud music, the people, while you’d rather get drunk on a bottle of wine at home while watching an old movie if you had the choice. For a minute, you consider leaving Lando behind to do exactly that, but you can see his smile even from across the room and you would hate to accidentally take that away from him. Instead, you figure if you’re going to be here longer, another drink from the bar wouldn’t hurt. You’re swirling your straw around in your drink while sitting at the bar, feeling the bass pound through your seat as you take in the sights of all the drivers and their friends roaming around. It’s nice to see them all that free, and you don’t notice a familiar duo on the grid creep up on you until you feel a tap on your shoulder. 

“Oh hey Y/N, I wanted to introduce you to Logan, my teammate,” is what Alex says casually to you over the music roaring through the club.  There’s suddenly a dirty-blonde haired boy in front of you with a charming smile, and something about him makes your heart race. He reaches his hand out to greet you and you can feel your cheeks warm up, and you don’t think it’s from the vodka cran that you’re holding onto. 

You and Logan get along like two drops of water as you find yourself settling into a booth with just him for the night. You talk about your families, your favorite tv shows, your deepest hopes and regrets. It’s been a while since you’ve ever connected with someone like this. It’s like when he looks at you he really sees you, which is something you’ve always wished for from someone else. The two of you are in your own world as you’re chatting away, so much to the point that you don’t notice a familiar curly haired boy approach your booth. 

“Time to go Y/N, you’re drunk.” 

Lando leans onto the table with both hands and you can see the way that he’s staring at you that he’s dead serious, the only thing is you’re not sure why.  You offer him a smile as you reply back to him.

“I’m fine with Logan, thank you though.” 

There’s a painfully awkward silence falling over you three. Lando doesn’t accept no for an answer, and he’s already reaching for your wrist to pull you up to him. It starts to frustrate you because you’re nowhere near drunk and Lando knows that too. Drunk Y/N would be dancing up on a table pounding back shots of tequila, definitely not sitting here chatting with a really nice guy. You stop Lando by placing a hand over his and he looks up in shock at your actions. 

“She said she’s good, mate.” Logan interjects firmly from the other side of you, and even you tense up knowing that Lando is not going to like that tone. 

Lando doesn’t even look Logan in the eye and is staring directly at you. You mouth “what are you doing” to him while he keeps staring you down like you’ve committed a crime. 

“You don’t wanna start this Sargeant, I promise you that.” Lando curses, his eyes still never leaving yours.

Lando’s statement has you clenching your jaw and your mind is spinning as you try to interpret it. In the short time you’ve spoken to Logan you’ve learned a lot about him - he was kind, thoughtful, and already felt like an outsider on the grid, so there was absolutely no reason for Lando to be acting like your bodyguard against him right now. 

The pacifist in you just wants this whole interaction to be over, so you go to pick up your purse and give Logan a look that says “sorry, I have no idea what he’s doing” before you stand up to join your best friend. Lando was someone you could never say no to, no matter how hard you tried. 

Logan offers the man a tight lipped smile before bringing his drink to his lips. Your heart hurts knowing that he already struggles with making friends on the grid and you’re sure that spending tonight with him hasn’t helped that at all. Lando’s going to hear it from you, for sure, you’re just hoping you can keep it in until you both get back to the hotel. 

Lando doesn’t spare another glance to you while you’re rummaging through the contents of your purse, and you keep your distance from him too. His jaw is still clenched like it would be after a bad race, only this time you don’t want to reach out to caress his cheek to help him. Lando fucked up tonight, and maybe you did too but the frustration of everything was becoming too much.

It’s when Lando turns back to get the last word in and says “stay away from my girl” do you finally lose it. 

You scoff “your girl?? I wasn’t your girl when you were doing body shots off that girl in the corner 20 minutes ago.” Suddenly you’re breathing heavily as you’re staring back at Lando with an equally angry look. This season has made you feel one thing - you may be Lando’s best friend but you’ll never be his girl, so hearing those words echoed back at you made you see red, knowing that Lando didn’t feel the same way. 

When your voices start to elevate further Logan quietly excuses himself from the situation when he realizes that it’s much bigger than just Lando being pissed at him for talking to you tonight, and neither of you even seem to notice as you’re too busy flinging words at each other. 

There’s a certain fire behind Lando’s eyes and an emotion you can’t quite place. You two have argued of course, but over stupid things like what type of takeout you were gonna get and who would have to take out the garbage. But you’ve never yelled at each other like this. 

“Why are you doing this, Lando?” your voice is laced with exasperation and you still can’t even look him in the eye. 

“It’s for your own good, you don’t get it” 

You mumble under your breath that you can see good or bad for yourself completely fine, something that has Lando rolling his eyes as he tightens his hold on your wrist.

“I”m not the one who doesn’t get it. You think you know everything. But news flash Norris, you don’t” 

You only use Lando’s last name when you’re in a bad mood, and it’s an immediate indicator for the curly haired man that you’re picking a fight. It’s a miracle nobody has noticed the two of you arguing as he’s basically dragging you through the crowds of people on the dance floor like you’re a little kid being put in timeout. Maybe you could never hate Lando, but man do you really dislike him at this moment. 

“I can name anything about you Y/N - favorite color, favorite food, favorite movie, try me.” 

You can tell he’s dead serious as he stops in his tracks and turns back to face you. He’s not moving until you answer his challenge, so you give in to his request begrudgingly with some rapid fire questions. You have to admit that he answers your questions almost expertly - nailing all of them. There’s one question he’s bound to get wrong, and  somehow the words that have been stuck on your tongue for so long finally slip out and hit the curly haired boy in front of you.

“What about the fact that the ENTIRE grid can tell that I’m in love with you and the only person who doesn’t get it is you -  did you know that, Lando?” 

The look on Lando’s face as you say it tells you everything you need to know. Of course he had no idea, he never looked as closely at you as you did to him. He’s stuttering and mumbling his words and you don’t have the patience to listen to him be flustered over this. Or maybe it’s that you don’t want to hear him reject you for real. 

“You don’t need to say anything.” You say firmly “you’ve made it abundantly clear over the last year about how you feel.” Around you the crowd doesn’t seem to pay any attention to your spat and that’s the most reprieve you’ll be able to get out of this situation. 

“I’m leaving, Lando.” you sigh and your voice cracks slightly  “and don’t you dare think of following me” 

It all seems to happen so fast. It’s a long, sad, empty Uber ride back to the hotel as you try to hold in your tears in the backseat. You know you told him no, but a part of you wishes that Lando would’ve fought for you, that he would’ve followed you out into the rain and you both could’ve made up right then and there. But life isn’t a movie, and 

that’s become evidently clear on this drive. 

It’s only once you’re cocooned under your blankets that you have the courage to finally check your phone. There’s only 1 message on your home screen…

And you hate yourself for it, but it’s not from the boy you wanted it to be.

---

author's note: honestly im not 100% happy with this piece and i don't can't exactly pinpoint why, but i wanted to share it with you all anyways in hopes that someone enjoys it! i'll keep working on making even better fics in the future :) Until next time! - Em <3

[issuesntissues]

watching a movie with 141—

Price

he’s a suspense/thriller type of guy, but also likes a good drama

despises romcoms and musicals (says they suck out the realism)

likes popcorn but doesn’t eat much of it

prone to falling asleep (he just gets really comfy)[typical peepaw behavior]

will glance at you to watch your reactions (and he’ll remember them too)

Gaz

Loves a good action flick but down for romance too

Definitely puts an arm around you regardless of what you’re watching 😳

Might skip on popcorn but he’ll always get some sort of candy

Will commentate on some things that you might not notice 👀

definitely the best person to watch a movie with out of the team tbh 😭

Soap

Loves action and comedy, anything loud with explosions & corny jokes

Horror movies make him uneasy, and he gets mad when the jump scares get him 😭

This mf loves popcorn he’s a never ending muncher, and you bet it’s getting stuck in the couch too

Will literally talk at the characters while watching, talk about how he’d feel if he was in whatever situation, make snide comments, just non stop yammering

Doesn’t fall asleep, but if he’s bored he’ll eat or get handsy 💀

Ghost

this mf loves his documentaries (nature ones are his favorite), and he loves horror movies (for obvious reasons 👀)

the quietest when it comes to movies, but he’ll let out a chuckle now and then

prefers other snacks than popcorn

if you’re really skittish during a horror movie he’ll put an arm around you (he’ll tease you about it later though)

Hates watching movies with Soap sober, but after a few drinks he can get just as loud and obnoxious as him 💀

!!BONUS!!

Konig

loves horror movies but he definitely watches sci fi and animated movies too

if he wants a horror movie, he’s getting one, no exceptions—

and if you’re begging him to turn it off bc it’s too much…he’ll make you beg for other things afterwards 💀

he loves popcorn! he always offers you some too 🫶

if he falls asleep, he’s a rock. don’t even bother trying to wake him up 😭

Keegan

loves crime and thrillers, but thinks sci-fi is cool too

quieter than ghost really 😳 he smiles at jokes

munches popcorn, finger licking the butter is his guilty pleasure

if he falls asleep you’ll never notice because he’ll stay sitting in the same position 💀

i think he’s more of an audiobook person overall tbh

Laswell

if she’s present, then the team will be watching a romcom (cue peepaw groan)

gets popcorn but she’ll have dinner and a few drinks too

her and gaz are besties during this time 👀 they get along the best

she’ll tolerate Soaps nonsense but if he starts getting too rowdy she’ll kick him out 💀

honestly has the best movie recs with epic female leads 💕

Graves

this man lives and breathes military, western, and action movies *cough* top gun mav

popcorn is a must, always gets the biggest size

gets up multiple times for random shite 🙄

bro will whoop and cheer during high intensity moments 😭

claps at the end, and will want to binge the next right after

[timetravellingkitty]

Mulan 2020 sucks lol

Written and edited by yours truly

So, Mulan 2020 happened. And I am disappointed. Seriously disappointed. It is utter garbage. I would genuinely prefer it if I watched Mulan II 5 times in a row, and that's saying something.

There is so much to talk about because this has so many issues. I don't think my brain can handle a movie as bad as this for some time. It is a disgrace to the original animated movie.

(Who cares about spoilers?)

And yes, I can and I will compare it to the original movie because it is a remake. It is totally valid to see where this fell flat and where the original succeeded. I'm not saying it has to be like the original cartoon, that is stupid. As I mentioned, it's to highlight the failures of this movie.

Besides, even if we forget the fact that it is a remake, this movie is still horrible.

INTRODUCTION

Mulan 1998 is a classic. It has great visuals, an awesome soundtrack, wonderful and compelling characters, a great message and a cool plot. It's just a great movie in general. It is an adaptation of The Ballad of Mulan, a Chinese legend. Both the legend and the animated movie are about a young girl named Mulan who disguises herself as a man to take her father's place in the army to fight back against an invasion.

As big of a success Mulan was, Chinese audiences thought some things were weird. For instance, having a dragon be a comic relief character, given that dragons are highly respected in Chinese culture. So of course, Disney decided to try another shot, claiming that they wanted to be more culturally sensitive, accurate and closer to the original ballad.

Mulan 2020 is a remake of the original animated movie, and was marketed to be more "accurate to Chinese culture and the Ballad". This claim is, of course, false, because they failed in that aspect. Say what you will about the cultural inaccuracies in Mulan 1998, but at least it was a great movie. Besides, Mulan 1998 didn't pride or market itself on being culturally accurate, the way Mulan 2020 did, so there's that.

CHANGES

I don't mind some changes. And honestly, if there's one thing I appreciate, it's that it isn't a carbon copy of the original (looking at you The Lion King 2019).

Li Shang's character is divided into two characters: Commander Tung and Mulan's love interest Honghui, apparently in light of the Me-Too movement. This is a dumb reason. Disney wasn't comfortable with a superior having a relationship with a subordinate? The hell? The romance between Shang and Mulan was only insinuated at the end, when Mulan wasn't even a part of the army anymore, so there's that. Also, Mulan gave her consent, so I don't know what they’re talking about.

Mushu isn't present in the movie. I can see why though. He contributed quite a bit to the soul of the animated version but a CGI dragon would be very distracting. Also, the director said that removed him to achieve a more realistic tone.

Grandma? No grandma. Mulan has a sister though, who only exists to mess stuff up.

The Huns are replaced with the Rourans and Shan Yu is replaced with Bori Khan.

Mushu is replaced with a phoenix, who acts as an emissary for the ancestors

There are no songs, except in the end credits, which isn't a bad thing. The instrumentals of the songs in the animated one play during some scenes (I'll talk about the music, don’t worry)

CHARACTERS

The characters in this movie are so boring. Our lead character Mulan lacks the charisma her animated counterpart had. She's utterly bland, uninteresting and poorly written. In the original, she knew she wasn't physically strong and that she couldn't solve her problems with her strength, so she used her intelligence and wit. She excelled by working hard and being strong willed and determined. This Mulan is a well rounded character.

Mulan in the live action is given Chi powers (Chi is a big part of Chinese medicine, in case you didn't know). Honestly, I wouldn't be as mad at Mulan being given superpowers, had they actually done this properly! Chi isn't like midichlorians, it's something that flows through everyone. Mulan is naturally born with dumb superpowers and has to hide them because as her dad says, " Chi is for warriors, not for daughters”. There is a problem:

It has been mentioned many times that Mulan needs to hide her superpowers otherwise she will be shunned and ostracised. Then why doesn't she get more repercussions everytime she uses her powers? The worst thing that happens is little Mulan getting looks of disgust when she uses them. On other occasions, when she is now a part of the army, she uses her powers in training and she doesn't get any backlash? What the hell?? Then why even bother in the first place?

The only way for this narrative to work is if Mulan got more repercussions for using her powers.

If I were to make the line "Chi is for warriors, not daughters," work, I would make it go something like this:

*At the end of the movie when Mulan comes home*

Dad: Didn't I tell you that Chi is for warriors, not daughters?

Mulan: "I am a daughter, but I'm a warrior too."

(Yes, I know this is similar to a scene in Avatar: The Last Airbender, but this would be better, tbh. Also, watch Avatar: The Last Airbender)

Let me compare the training montages from both movies.

In the animated one, there is an absolutely AWESOME montage of Mulan training side by side with her companions, slowly gaining their trust. She climbs the pillar with both medallions by using her wit, not by brute force. This Mulan worked hard. Besides, the fact that "I'll Make A Man Out Of You" plays over this is the only thing that makes it better (banger song, thank you Donny Osmond)

In the live-action, Mulan is supposed to lift up buckets and climb on top of a mountain. There are also other training scenes, but those aren't very important. In these scenes, she succeeds with the power of CHI. WHY? Mulan here just achieves her goal because she is oh so special. She didn't work to achieve her goal at all, because she is perfect. No struggling or development here at all.

Mulan in the animated version was more concerned about saving her father. Mulan in the 2020 version is a dumb patriot who can't even do patriotism right ("I know my place. It is my duty to fight for the kingdom and protect the Emperor") How very empowering.

In short, live-action Mulan can do no wrong. She has no flaws, no personality and no charm. Everything comes to her pretty easily, because MAGIC.

Li Shang's role in the live-action is divided between Commander Tung and Mulan's love interest Honghui, as mentioned before. Both of these characters are flat, dumb and boring. Tung exists to tell Mulan to cultivate her Chi and to train these idiots (and to offer his daughter’s hand in marriage to her, unaware that Mulan isn’t actually a guy, but eh). Honghui is there to be a stupid love interest, who gives us an “I am Spartacus” moment.

The witch is by far the most interesting character. She actually has more than one side to her, has SOME kind of depth and you can even feel sorry for her. She is supposed to serve as a foil to Mulan, given that both have similar powers. In case you've forgotten (which is something I wouldn't blame you for), she's an outcast who's now working with Bori Khan. Why is she an outcast? Because of her Chi. The witch has said many times that she could kill Bori Khan in a snap, then why doesn't she kill him? Because she needs acceptance? What the hell? She decides to pull out the whole "We're the same, you and I," stupidity to Mulan, and I can see that. It's just that the writers just didn't put much thought into it. “It’s too late for me” because you saw a woman leading an army of men? Also, why does she warn Mulan that Bori Khan is coming? Unless she's playing both sides, except her motivations aren't made clear enough for this to make sense. Finally, she dies for the dumbest reason. God, it just makes me so mad. She had so much potential, but no. They just had to mess her up.

Bori Khan? MORE LIKE BORING KHAN. Not much is there. His animated counterpart Shan Yu was scary and contributed to some of the darkest moments in the movie. This guy over here is just...nothing. That's all I have to say.

Mulan's sister is only there to mess up the meeting with the Matchmaker. What a stupid change. First off in the animated version, it's Mulan who messed up, because she isn't perfect. She fails at being stereotypically feminine AND masculine, but in the live-action, she literally pulls off a Spiderman cafeteria scene, and the blame is put on the sister. In the animated movie, this scene is groundwork for Mulan wanting to prove herself and going on a hero's journey, providing depth to her character, but in the live-action, she's perfect. What is the point? (I know this section was supposed to be about the sister, but eh). The sister doesn't provide anything else to the movie, so thanks! I hate it. Moral of the story: Girls can do anything boys can, as long as they have superpowers. If you are born special like Mulan, you can be respected, whereas if you are like the sister, you have no significance and in the end, you can just fit in and be irrelevant. Congratulations!

The live action group of guys Mulan met and befriended in the army lack the charm and comedic timing of their animated counterparts. That’s it. Seriously. I have nothing more to say about them, because they don't really have anything going on. I don't even know why they are included, because their contribution is nil, save for them blandly speaking lines from the animated version’s songs ("I don't care what she looks like, I care what she cooks like"), which is seriously cringe.

The dad is there to tell Mulan that Chi is for warriors. A shame, because I really liked the dad in the movie. He was a source of wisdom for Mulan, whose greatest honour was having her for a daughter. In the live-action, he just takes the sword that Mulan is given at the end of the movie. The mom is meh.

The emperor is also meh. At least he was wise and cool in the animated version, but here he just does bed sheet kung-fu.

Did I mention that the dynamics between the characters are unnatural, forced, awkward in a bad way and in no way indicates any chemistry between them? Oh yeah, I didn’t, until now. They don’t establish much when it comes to emotion.

Simply put, Khan (Mulan’s horse in the animated version) had more personality than all of these characters combined

PERFORMANCES

Liu Yifei as Mulan was a pretty terrible choice. She is just a block of wood, who has absolutely no range, and this isn't because of the writing. She is genuinely bad, and is regarded as one of China’s worst actors (I kid you not). She just can’t emote.

Jet Li as the emperor is meh. But hey, he doesn’t have much to do, so eh.

Jason Scott Lee as Bori Khan is fine. He doesn’t suck, but he lacks the command and authority of a character who is supposed to be intimidating, but I guess it has something to do with the writing of his character.

Donnie Yen is a martial art legend, but unfortunately, he doesn't have much range as an actor.

The best performance of this movie is that of Gong Li, who played the witch. Honestly, she is charismatic, charming and has an idea of what she is doing.

To save everyone’s time, simply put: most of the performances are bland and mediocre. Partly due to bad writing and partly due to most of the actors not being, well, good at acting.

CULTURAL AND HISTORICAL ACCURACY

So Disney went all “we like cultural and historical accuracy”, which is nice. For example, the Huns are replaced by the Rourans, a real tribe in China around the time Mulan was supposed to be alive. They also removed the hair cutting scene, because as iconic and awesome as it is, it doesn’t make sense. Chinese men wore their hair long too. You know what? I like these kinds of changes. I appreciate accuracy. If only Disney didn’t pride themselves on their accuracy when they got almost everything else wrong (They somehow got Mulan's house wrong lol). I don't know jackshit about Chinese culture so just go watch that Xiran Jay Zhao video it's very swag

THE BALLAD OF MULAN

In a surprising turn of events, this isn't accurate to the Ballad, like they had marketed it to be (I know, I’m shocked too). In a reference to the Ballad, Mulan is riding a horse and she sees two rabbits running side by side. She goes home and tells her family that she saw 2 rabbits, and she thinks that one was male and the other female, but she wasn't sure. This just misses the entire point of the Ballad.

Long story short, Mulan in the Ballad is actually a seamstress. She joined the army in her father's place. She defeats the barbarians and goes on a ten year long campaign with her friends, after which they meet the Son of Heaven (a sacred imperial title of a Chinese emperor). He offers her a high ranking position, which she refuses, because she just wants to go home. She returns home and her family welcomes her. Sometime later, her friends come to visit her, and they find out that she is actually a woman. The friends are shocked because she has been in the army for 12 years and in those 12 years, they didn't even realise that she was a woman.

Mulan then replies:

The male hare's feet hop and skip

The female hare's are muddled and fuddled

But when two hares are running side by side

How can you tell the male from the female?

Which is where the poem ends.

So, Mulan just going on, judging those rabbits like that makes absolutely no sense. The Ballad is about how no matter how different men and women look, when they live and fight amongst each other, who gives a damn about the differences? You know what would have made sense though? If Mulan got off her horse, went close to the rabbits, examined them, and then made the conclusion that one is male and the other is female. This would actually be sticking to the message of the Ballad. Also, why do they make it ambiguous as to whether she accepts the high ranking position? I assume for a sequel (yes, God save my soul). Here we can see another example of its impeccable accuracy to the Ballad.

THIS ISN'T EMOTIONAL AT ALL

Everything that made the original film good has been stripped away. Every moment that is meant to be emotional is very dull. For example, the scene where Mulan makes the decision to take her father's place in the army is supposed to be a very powerful scene. Mulan is risking it all just so her dad can be safe. She might be killed if discovered, and her family would be dishonoured.

When Mulan comes back from the Matchmaker, she has a moment of reflection while singing "Reflection". This is the beginning of her personal journey, discovering who she is. In this, after Mulan comes back from the Matchmaker, she doesn't have a moment of reflection. The army immediately shows up. Am I really supposed to believe that Mulan feels bad about this? That Mulan is really struggling?

When Mulan’s friends are singing, it suddenly shifts to the striking scene of the burnt village. This, in my opinion, is the best use of tonal whiplash. From this point on, things are getting serious, and the emotional weight of this tragedy is felt. In this, they just randomly show up at the village.​​ There is no seriousness (stop trying to tell me this movie is adult, mature and serious, it just looks like that on the surface).

Their attempts at being emotional are poor and unconvincing, and ultimately, the end product is an emotionless, soulless, depthless entity.

THE MUSIC

The director mentioned in an interview that she didn’t add songs into the movie because it is “unrealistic to break into song when you're in war”, and I don't think I’ve heard anything more false (apart from the concept of a flat Earth). Even I, who isn't going into war anytime soon, know this is false. They instead inserted instrumentals from the original film. Except, it's very weirdly placed. The instrumental for Reflection is placed when Mulan is fighting the Rourans after she reveals herself to be a woman. Like, there isn't any context. In the end credits, they had the original song "Loyal, Brave and True" sung by Christina Aguilera, which was nice. I don't really have much to say in regards to the music. The music is overall forgettable.

THE ACTION

The action may seem weird, but this kind of martial arts is a part of the Wuxia genre, which is what they were going for. Well, they failed. The choreography is bad, the CGI is bad, EVERYTHING is bad. Honestly, if you want a good Wuxia movie, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon exists. The action is here stupid and stiff.

OTHER DUMB STUFF

Why does Mulan take her armour off before going into battle? That is just stupid. Can't you just take the bindings off? Also, WHY OPEN YOUR HAIR-

Mulan really likes kicking spears (and pointy stuff in general). Seriously. It’s weird.

The CGI is okay I guess, I don't know. The phoenix in some scenes looks pink to me. There are some pretty visuals though.

It is very obvious that there is a green screen used in the scene where Mulan and her friends find the burnt village. And it looks bad. Pretty ugly. It looks bad. The green screen looks bad.

The war strategy is just weird. I can't really say anything about it in text form because how am i supposed to describe it, help- (she literally teleported behind the bad guys in the avalanche scene-).

I like how the animated film, which had a dragon as a comic relief and other silly stuff, is more mature than this.

For what joy does Mulan get another sword from the army? Also, shame the dad is all “oh look at the values written on the sword, they are honourable” even though in the original the greatest honour was having her for a daughter.

How was Mulan even able to tell the gender of the rabbits?

Why not just try to send a warning to the Emperor that the Rourans are coming to get him?

Why does Commander Tung let Mulan lead them-

I AM SO DONE

Well, I think I have said everything I wanted to about this movie. I know I havent talked about its controversies but honestly, I am done. I am so done with this. This document took 5-6 months of my life. I am kind of proud of this, and there isn't much I have done to be proud of. I did procrastinate on this a bit, and I had stuff going on, but finally, I am done. In the future, if I remember something, I'll add it here, but I think that is unlikely. I never want to watch or even go near Mulan 2020 again. It's horrible, and there is barely anything redeemable. I hate it here. It’s been reported that a sequel is in development. If it’s true, of course I’ll watch it, how else am I supposed to validate my self hate? I am also, of course, the resident “friend who suffers for everyone else’s entertainment”. If you want a live action remake of Mulan, Mulan: Rise of a Warrior exists. Go watch it, it’s free on YouTube with subtitles. I really liked it.

If you’ve somehow made it this far, thanks for reading. I congratulate you for putting up with whatever this is. I would also like to take a moment to congratulate myself for actually committing to this. It was painful yet fun to complain about this to the best of my ability. If anyone wants to add anything to this, feel free to do so. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m out. I have lost my faith in humanity, and I have other things to complain about.

[unknowndrone]

I’m Not Smiling

Yelena Belove X Fem! Reader

Warning: Mild language

Prompt: hi! can I have some yelena X fem!reader action? maybe something like yelena likes r and natasha accidentally makes yelena blurt it out in front of r without noticing? thanks

WC: 1.5k

Originally posted by kevinfeiges

I don’t own these Marvel characters.

___________________________

Yelena wasn’t really known for understanding her feelings. At such as young age, she was practically trained to push away any connection she would and could have with other people. Natasha would be the exception because she had grown up with her. That’s why when she had joined that Avengers as another teammate, she wasn’t expecting to feel a “connection” between any other members. Well, until you had come around. You were someone to be interacted with at first sight. From what Yelena could observe, she notices how very much liked you were by the whole team, and from what Natasha has told her, you were practically the glue that held the team together. You were the only person in the whole team who has never gotten on anyone’s bad side and that was for good reason.

You were friendly with Yelena, clearly showing that you trusted her with your whole heart. You made it clear to her that you had no guards up against her, being as open as possible to whatever Yelena’s wants and needs were. For Yelena, this affection and care had hit her deep within her heart. You were a genuinely caring person, something that she had lacked so much growing up. And seeing the way you would always check up on her after a mission of hers or yours made her heart flutter and beat rapidly. When you two started having movie nights together, the way you laughed was starting to become music to her own ears.

Though her favorite nights were when you two would just sit in the living room and talk. The two of you would talk for hours. In the beginning, there was some distance between the two of you, but in less than six months, she was already laying on your lap as you gently brush the knots out of her hair. It was the best feeling for her, honestly. To feel every single bone in her body relax as you hold her this close. If she could stay in this moment forever she would. Maybe she could get that doctor guy to do it for her, just keep rewinding this moment so Yelena could have more time to gaze at the way your eyes light up, the way your lips curve into a smile, the way your eyebrows would furrow together and you’d make that cute confused look on your face.

It was after a mission when Natasha had confronted Yelena. Before you had left for your mission earlier, Natasha had witnessed Yelena almost attack Wanda because apparently “playing as a couple” during a mission was considered “unprofessional” by Yelena’s standards. If it weren’t for Wanda profusely telling Yelena that it was just a mission and you gripping Yelena’s arm to get her to calm down, Yelena would’ve possibly blown up the facility.

After giving Yelena time to cool down, which had taken a good couple of hours, Natasha had gone to confront her sister over the situation.

“There is nothing wrong,” Yelena argues.

“Really?” Natasha asks.

“Yes, I am perfectly fine,” Yelena replies harshly. She begins walking towards her sleeping quarters.

Before Yelena could hide her feelings in her room, Natasha grabs the assassins’ shoulder. “Hey! Let me go!”

“You were jealous,” Natasha concludes.

Yelena pauses for a moment. Of course. How could she not be jealous? Wanda gets to do a mission with you and she gets to spend extra time with you without the disturbance of the other Avengers. Just thinking about the two of you in the quinjet is almost enough to make her skin crawl.

Her mind snaps back from her reverie, seeing Natasha was still holding her arm, she yanks it away. It causes Natasha to laugh. “Oh my god, Lena, you’re so in love.”

“Am not!”

“Okay,” she says. “Picture Y/N smiling.“

Immediately your smile paints in Yelena’s head. The familiar curve of your lips invades her visions. Then, unconsciously, a small smile begins to form on her own lips.

“Yeah, you’re so in love,” Natasha repeats.

The smile leaves as quickly as it came as Yelena smacks Natasha’s shoulder. “You’re a piece of shit, you know that?” She hisses.

Natasha scoffs. She only took Yelena’s annoyance as a cue to keep pushing her sister’s buttons until she was ready to explode. “Then I guess you’d be fine thinking about Wanda and Y/N holding hands, eating dinner together after a long long day, sharing a bed because SHIELD is too poor to afford two twin beds-” Natasha could almost see Yelena’s ears turning red, the smoke ready to puff out, but she keeps talking, “and right there, Wanda would turn on her favorite show and the two of them would binge-watch the show-”

“The mission isn’t supposed to last more than four hours,” Yelena manages to huff, but her breath was uneven as she tries her best to maintain her composure.

“Ahh, I’m not finished. And Y/N would lay her head on Wanda’s shoulder. There would be no one there to interrupt them on this perfect night and-”

All fed up, Yelena throws her hands up, “fine! You know what! What if I am?” She says angrily. “I’m in love with Y/N! That’s what it is. I am so in love, you know that Natasha? For the first time in my life, I feel like I found someone who takes care of me, who genuinely wants to be around me without feeling like I’m a threat to them or feeling like they’re forced to be with me. Y/N is the reason why I feel so alive. Around her, I feel like I’m more than just my past and that I deserve everything good, so excuse me if someone tries to take that away from me. Does Wanda know what Y/N’s favorite food is? No. Does she know what Y/N’s favorite sleeping position is? No. Does she know that Y/N hates watching shows that last for more than 12 seasons? No! I do. I know that. Y/N is my gift, she is my world, not hers.”

Natasha’s eyes widen out of pure shock.

“What? Are you surprised that I finally admitted it? Or are you trying to think of something so you can make fun of me again-“

Natasha grabs Yelena’s shoulders before turning her around. Yelena could only feel her heart sink when she sees you standing there, after a long mission, eyes stunned. The two sisters don’t know what to say or do, so it was up to you to break the silence.

“Well, uh, I was just about to go to my room and-“

“How much did you hear?” Yelena asks, the feeling of numbness was growing more and more in her body.

“Right up to when you called Natasha ‘a piece of shit’,” you tell her.

Natasha could only do so much as to pat her sister’s shoulders before excusing herself out, letting Yelena deal with the situation. If this ends badly, Yelena was going to swear on her life that she would murder Natasha for what she had just done.

“Well, uh-“ she starts.

You muster a cough, rubbing the back of your neck nervously. “I would ask you if you meant it, but I think I know you well enough to know that-“

Yelena begins fumbling with her doorknob, wanting desperately to escape this situation. “I’m sorry, let’s just pretend you didn’t hear that.” Her palms were starting to shake, her body failing to keep her composure as her friendship was surely about to fall apart.

You let off a small chuckle, whether or not that was a good thing Yelena wouldn’t be able to tell. You gently place a hand over her’s effectively causing Yelena to stop shaking. Yelena looks up and you watch those beautiful green orbs staring back at you and you could clearly see her on the verge of breaking down if you don’t start talking.

“Yelena, you know I love you, too, right?”

Even the way you say ‘I love you’ was almost like a dream, to the point she can’t even tell if she heard you correctly.

“Lena-“ you say, squeezing her hand softly.

“Are you telling me the truth?” She asks.

The familiar smile grazes your lips and without giving her a second to think, you press your lips to her’s. Her body reacts unconsciously, her emotions guiding her to react as she kisses you back. Her eyes close, hand flying to your neck and pulling you closer to her.

When the two of you finally pull away, you let out a small laugh, as your thumb gently brushes her cheek. “Now I know why you were jealous when Wanda and I were going on that mission together.”

She pouts, leaning her head against yours as her eyes fall to the ground, “I would’ve been better at playing the role.”

“I know,” you comment. “Come on, let’s go watch a movie.”

Hand in hand the two of you move inside Yelena’s room. From outside the hallway, Wanda finds Natasha standing by the corner. A smile spreads on her face when she realizes that the plan had worked.

“I can’t believe that worked,” Natasha comments.

Wanda rolls her eyes, “your sister almost killed me.”

__________________________

Thanks for reading! More reposting on my end! I hope you have a great day/night, and may you always be safe! I’ll be here if you need me.

[cladestruction]

PART I of my super long aotd thoughts (and prayers) commentary/analysis extravanganza🤪

warning: spoilers. repetition of words/expressions hehe. badly written (english is not my first language lol). looong text. biased opinions because this is my blog and i get to do with it as i please.

Press conference and failed plan: i love how there’s practically no time jump in the beginning, i find it both dynamic and realistic. as the world’s most famous band/people, they’re always right at the center of attention, even more after such major events like the ones in dsr, so the press conference is great: is sudden and painful to watch, it’s awkward as the boys try to answer the clearly triggering questions in their usual laid-back, disinterested manner, and barely succeed in doing so. also, this scene establishes three elements that i’m so grateful for: 1. Toki is safe with them again but still visibly fucked up, 2. the boys Don’t Remember what happened after they found Toki (the dethlights and stuff), 3. Nathan is the exception, he remembers but doesn’t quite understand wtf happened, and it haunts him. i love how Magnus is talked about in this movie and this scene, the public and the press don’t have much information about him and the band (i guess?) so calling it a tragedy is practically the easiest way to label it, but the reality is waaay deeper, and the fact that this comes back later on? i love it. i also like that the band’s plan announcement shows exactly what i wanted personally: how much Charles' guidance is missing. the boys are erratic and messy, and considering their actual behavior throughout the show it’s actually very rational for stars like them to want to jump right into action. bc it’s their job, their passion, and there’s pressure on them to do something: either talk about what happened, acknowledge their trauma and heal, or get to work and give people music so they can shut up and stop asking questions the boys are not prepared to answer. the tour fails before it begins and it’s great. the fact that Nathan only gets exhausted right after announcing they were back and ready to kick ass adds so much weight and drama, i love it. here we get a beautiful, stunning, amazing sequence with great voiceover and visuals. 10/10 i love the black/white/red sequence with Nathan’s silhouette falling and falling and a bunch of menacing shadows haunting him while the deththeme plays on the background. Masterpiece me thinks.

Crozier: the voiceover is AMAZING (i always loved his voice tbh). Crozier was kind of an annoying character to me throughout the series. he’s the typical american military authority and i’m not a fan, but i have to say i was very excited to see him get more depth in just one scene! i couldn’t help but feel for the guy as he failed to deliver what could’ve been his last words. it feels desolating to see him once again be left in the hands of these mysterious and shady people who are constantly preying on him. this sequence also gives much insight to the Tribunal, which is great to make the audience feel more on edge with their plan and see Salacia as a threat. the song of salvation is mentioned, the metalocalypse, Charles and the Army of the Doomstar. it’s great exposition without taking too much screen time. big fan of scenes like that.

The Church: what can i say, i love the (found) family dynamic. it’s always been there on the show, but this movie really took it to a whole new level and i’m living for it. Ishnifus’ funeral is a great detail. my man did nothing wrong in his short appearance on the finale of the show+dsr, and as a high priest, it feels only right to remember him and pay respects even if it’s for such a short scene. moving on, Toki with headphones is so important to me. he seems a bit recovered but it’s obvious something changed in the band’s behavior toward him. it seems it’s already normal for them to look out for the youngest and tend to him without as many reservations as they once would’ve shown, at least Pickles looks very used to it, even if it’s also clearly a lot of responsibility and he most likely has to deal with by himself (Murderface doesn’t really help and Skwisgaar is very cold and kept to himself. even if he complies with Pickles’ orders, he seems painfully closed off, and Nathan might actually be of help when present, considering Toki wanting to go to the bathroom with him and hinting that this is something they do now. but Nathan is not very present so yup, that’s that). moving on, Charles is…different. he was always calculated and cold but i kinda feel bad for Pickles (and Nathan later on) when they talk to him. Charles uses very mystical(?) language now and talks to the boys in a mysterious and ominous tone, it feels very impersonal, but it’s so good story-wise that i just can’t complain. Pickles’ reaction to Charles telling him that his role in saving the world is just: to be a friend to Nathan is AMAZING. Pickles is clearly nervous and expectant (it’s the end of the world, after all) but then he just asks “that’s all?” and it’s literally the BEST thing he could’ve said. he already IS a friend to Nathan, he has been so for years, even when things had already gotten ugly, so what more should he do? is it not enough? would he even be able to be such a good friend to Nathan if the frontman is being so closed off? the honesty in Pickles’ doubt is great and i love him so so much. moving on, that Edgar exchange with a very dozed-up Nathan almost made me cry. Edgar’s face when Nathan brushes him off is ugh, my heart hurt so so bad for him :( i’m sooo happy this wasn’t his last appearance and final interaction with Nathan. moving on, Nathan and Charles speak and it’s pure exposition, but i like it bc, again, is made clear and dynamic. i reiterate my point about Charles being too ominous-y (?) in his way of talking, making an already exhausted Nathan even more tired and overwhelmed. it feels even a bit out of touch and cruel of Charles to do this but, again, it fits just perfectly in the narrative so i like it.

The fucking PROPOSAL!!!: oh god, ok. i love Abigail, believe me. i remember being so desperate to see a female character appear on the show for more than 1 episode and not be killed off immediately that i screamed when Abigail came around. seeing her again in this movie, alive and well and receiving help really augmented my lifespan. that said, i am happy this is The Abigail Scene of the movie. she’s shown strong, confident, and most importantly, wise. she couldn’t say yes to Nathan, that’d be absurd, but she declined very elegantly. and though Nathan was already going through a lot, she was clear, direct and honest, while expressing respect towards him as a man and towards his feelings for her (though confused and not very well-founded, were honest). she wasn’t cruel but she also didn’t sugarcoat the stuff that Nathan Needed to hear. especially considering how he was acting, how uncharacteristic and weird he was behaving. and no, i won’t say “oh Nathan Explosion would NEVER get on his knees and beg” bc we all know that’s not true lol, but it was very erratic behavior, desperate and needy for all the wrong reasons, and please let’s again remember how much xanax/red wine/coffee this man had on his system !!! and oh, don’t even get me started on how important it was for Abigail to clear up how her kissing Nathan at the end of dsr was an act of shock and thrill of what they just went through. they barely knew each other but Nathan still went and saved her, and while Nathan was just out of all the fucked up shit that happened in dsr‘s last act, she kissed him. they almost dies, and in such extreme conditions they did what they did and that’s ok. but to think there would be more after that was, well, kind of an illusion. and that’s sad but true. in summary, Abigail is a queen and i love her with my whole heart and lungs. if you ask me, i’d love to have seen her more and i actually think her and Nathan could’ve worked out if things were different, or maybe they could be great friends. but for the short scene she got, i think she was great. Nathan breaking up with the fans right after is such a good scene too. he’s lashing out and it makes perfect sense for him to do so. and tbh i will go and say it: he wasn’t wrong in what he said. yes the fans are always there to support the band (i’ll talk more about this in the ending) but they also are constantly setting expectations. the fact that they’ll go and celebrate 99.5% of whatever the band does, the constant fear of losing them is still there, and for Nathan it’s infuriating bc it might get difficult for him to believe that these people will love everything he does, especially bc he, in this moment of his life, doesn’t feel loved.

last part of the church scene: Rockzo. i’m glad his scene was short, i dislike him and don’t enjoy him at all, but i will admit that after witnessing such a painful heartbreak/horrendous proposal, hearing Rockzo start singing Amazing Grace made me laugh very hard. great comedic timing, i liked it.

Dethklok tries to cheer up Nathan: i talked about this before, when they released the teaser clip and all. when i saw that with no context i did feel like Pickles was acting especially concerned toward Nathan here, and he even sounded a bit needy. now that i know it’s because of what Charles told him, it makes so much sense. he feels almost obliged to support and even comfort Nathan in ways that he hadn’t done before, but of course it is! the world is at stake! he is trying his best and he even goes against what he thinks, shown by how he actually doesn't appreciate Nathan treating them like crap and calling them “fuckbags” and “jackshit”. i love how those little details build up tension between them.

[ghoastixx]

Hi! I didnt know if you prefer ghost or rider, I like both tho but whichever makes you more happy uwu

And as a fan of the lost boys, beetlejuice(movie ver.), bill and ted excellent adventure(+ bogus journey, face the music)

Personally i would love to do my own writing some day but I kinda wanna see how another writer does it, I dont mind! But Request for (maybe poly) bill and ted x (idk if you write for female reader, its okay if not! GN reader is okay too) reader who is a time traveller themselves and goes to 1986 to see bill and ted?

lmao like they met their future wife/husband THAT LITERALLY CAME FROM THE FUTURE

Poly Bill and Ted x female time traveler reader

Hello!! I prefer either of those names but thank you so much for being considerate, either or is fine <3 Yes, I do write for female readers as well, and that’s exactly what I will do for this fic. I think it’s super cool that you want to use my writing as an example of your work, that’s super influential to me!!! I tried my best with this fic and I really hope that you enjoy, best of wishes to you and your work!<3 -Ghost

“Ted, my dear friend, I think she’s dead.” That was the first thing you heard him say. It was super bright for some reason.

“Well, is she breathing?” The other one asked, for some reason, you recognized the voice.

“I don’t know Ted.” Wait a minute, Ted was here? Finally you open your eyes to see two blurry figures looking down at you.

“She’s opening her eyes.” You hazily sit up and look at them. Your lovers, except younger. It was them, you knew it had to be. They looked and sounded, even talked like them.

“Bill? Ted? What’s going on.” The two boys looked at each other and then back to you.

“You know our names?” The taller one asked. Okay, hold on, what had happened before you got here, try and remember. Oh! That’s it! Some random guy approached you and started talking about how you needed to go back in time and make sure that you met your husbands as a teenager. That’s what happened. So, what to do now?

“I-, my cousin, yeah my cousin knows you two. I think you go to high school together.”

“Ohhh, that makes sense.” The one with curly blonde hair, Bill, reached his hand out to you, helping you up.

“I’ve never seen you around before?” Quick to make up a lie, you responded.

“I’m a distant relative visiting, I don’t live around here. Anyways, my cousin has showed me yearbooks, I think I saw you two in it.”

“Most excellent, who’s your cousin?” Ted was very interested in finding out who you were, makes sense though. You did just wake up in front of them and state that you recognized them, kind of creepy.

“Her name is Y/N” The boys looked at each other and you could see the lightbulb in their heads go off.

“Yeah, we know Y/N!”

“She is a most excellent babe.”

“Are you two friends with her?” You ask, wondering if they had already knew you at this point.

“I think she’s in our history class. She offers tutoring to us sometimes, our history teacher is most heinous.”

You knew exactly what they were talking about, you had offered to help them pass multiple times, you were crushing on the boys at the time.

“You guys should hang out more, she seems to think you guys are super cool.”

The blonde looked at his taller boyfriend, “she does? Excellent!” They both air guitar at each other, an action that you would eventually learn to love seeing them do.

“Don’t tell Y/N that I ran into you two, she’ll kill me.”

The two nodded in sync.

You said goodbye to the two and parted ways, you sat down and looked at your wedding ring, knowing you had done what you needed to do, a voice comes from behind you. The guy from earlier.

“You ready to go back?”

“Totally.”

When you open your eyes again, you’re in your room, in your bed, with your boys. You smile to yourself and think back to the encounter. Ted leans further onto your shoulder lightly snoring, Bill looks up at you.

“Go back to sleep, it’s too early-“

You laugh, quietly as to not wake Ted up.

“Alright, alright. Scoot over.”

Meanwhile back in 1986*

“So, she looked a lot like Y/N.” Ted looked down at Bill.

“Maybe she was from the future, she sounded like her too. Maybe she’s our future wife.”

“That’s the smartest thing you’ve said today, Ted. She was definitely our future wife.”

The two smiled at each other and made their way to their current times Y/N, content with knowing that they’d still be together after everything.

-Ghost

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Bowser

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

Most of the time, saying a character needs no introduction is a bit of an exaggeration, because there is always the chance, however slim, that someone has not heard of that character. That’s not the case here, though; you could go to the deepest, most isolated jungle tribe on Earth, ask the villagers if they’ve heard of Mario, and they’ll all start singing out the Mario theme music. With that in mind, today’s subject absolutely needs no introduction, but out of respect for the King of Koopas I’ll give him one anyway: This is Bowser.

Bowser is not simply a video game villain. Bowser is THE video game villain. Like Mario, Peach, and Luigi, this big old turtle is pretty much a household name, loved far and wide for his iconic design, simple yet effective boss battles, and his inexplicable yet somehow still understandable sexiness. The question is, can I make it through this review without making some sort of crude comment about the raw sexuality the King of Koopas exudes? Lets find out!

Motivation/Goals: Bowser from day one has always been a pretty simple man. All he wants in life is those peaches, peaches, peaches… And I mean, really, can you blame him?

Yes, his motivations and goals are pretty simple and shallow, but he always manages to make something as trite as rescuing a damsel in distress fun and refreshing. His strict adherence to basic formula leaves a lot of room for mixing things up though, and this same adherence makes the times when he breaks tradition and does something like fight on Mario’s side all the better. And sometimes it’s clear Bowser just wants to relax and fuck around by karting, playing board games, or competing in some sort of sport.

It’s a fun little twist on that old “Knight rescues a princess from a dragon,” except the dragon is a giant turtle and the knight is an Italian plumber (a more powerful force than any knight could hope to be). Of course, the fact Bowser is incredibly obsessed with a woman despite her wanting nothing to do with him means that Bowser is—you guessed it—a

Performance: Hoo boy, are there a lot of Bowser voice actors.

The cartoons used Harvey Atkins, who delivered a fun and cartoonish take on Bowser; Marc Graue voiced him in Hotel Mario, but this isn’t shocking as he was basically every male character in that game; Peter Cullen technically voiced him from 1996 to 2006 due to archival roars he provided for the 1976 remake of King Kong being repurposed for Bowser’s own roars; Charles Martinet provided his iconic evil laughs for 64; Kenny James is his current voice actor; Jack Black turned in a very against type performance in the Illumination movie; and Dennis Hopper of all people portrayed him in the live action film from the 90s. And these are just the ones I wanted to highlight! There are a few English voice actors I skipped as well as his extensive Japanese voice cast! Here’s the complete list, just so I’m not here all day:

The point I’m trying to make is this: Bowser’s iconic status is completely a group effort, and each of these dudes helped contribute to Bowser’s status in our hearts and minds in their own unique ways.

Final Fate: It really depends on the game or movie or whatever, but he is always defeated by Mario at any rate. Sometimes he’s simply defeated and sent on his way; sometimes he’s captured and imprisoned, like in the animated movie; and sometimes he just fucking dies, like in the live action movie and New Super Mario Bros. Don’t worry, he gets better.

Best Scene: Bowser in the earlier games had rather simple boss fights, though they weren’t completely unmemorable. Still, out of his early days it’s hard to deny his epic battle against Yoshi in the finale of Yoshi’s Island, where his child self is grown to gargantuan size and ominously lumbers towards you from the background while a hardcore boss tune blasts through your speakers, is the peak of his NES/SNES days.

undefined

Then we have his early forays into 3D, and it’s inarguable that the boss fights he has against Mario in the timeless classic Super Mario 64 are some of his best, even if they are rather simplistic. I mean, this is where we got “So long, Gay Bowser!” from, can you really deny its place in Mario history? And those are just a couple! We could probably sit here all day talking about his great battles in games like Odyssey, New Super Mario Bros, Galaxy, and so on.

undefined

Bowser’s most impressive showing outside of the games is The Super Mario Bros. Movie. The initial teaser for the film, which showcased his opening fight against the penguin kingdom, really helps establish Bowser as the threat he is, and the final battle and the wedding scene in the movie are some of his greatest villain moments to date. But I’m going to be cliché and give the spotlight to his villain song, “Peaches.”

undefined

Here’s the thing, though: As a song, “Peaches” kind of sucks. It’s just Jack Black saying “Peaches” fifty times in a row and then making Jack Black noises. But that’s also what makes it so genuinely great; in the hands of a lesser actor/musician, this really would just be the dumbest shit imaginable, but in the hamtastic hands of Jack Black the song has become an instant legend. I think the visuals and the beautiful piano playing really help, not to mention the official music video where JB dresses up as Bowser and tosses peaches around. Lyrically it’s nothing to write home about, but man does the performance really sell it.

Oh yeah and there’s this too:

undefined

Final Thoughts & Score

It is near impossible to overstate how iconic, important, and downright awesome Bowser is.

Like, this guy is the final boss. He pretty much codified what that means in terms of video games, being one of the first iconic big bads of gaming and the first adversary a lot of gamers fought. It’s kind of hard to believe today, but the original Mario games were genuinely some of the most groundbreaking games of all time, and the only reason it’s hard to believe is because video games have been building off the groundwork they laid down back in the 80s. Bowser is no exception; every single video game villain, especially platformer villains, owes a debt of gratitude to the king of the Koopas.

I think part of the reason Bowser has managed to survive and thrive through console generation after console generation is because he, much like the rest of the core Mario cast, is extremely versatile as a character and can slip into any situation with relative ease. He can be an evil overlord, a bratty child, a loving father, a kart racer, an Olympic champion, a platform fighter combatant, the owner of a Coney Island disco palace, a giant skeleton, a board game player, it doesn’t matter! Bowser can do it all! He can be a goofy, bumbling comedy villain or he can be a galaxy-destroying threat that would make Thanos shit himself, he has range like you wouldn’t believe!

It helps that both times he has shown up in a movie he has managed to be a scene-stealing smorgasbord of ham and cheese. Dennis Hopper’s madcap, in-it-for-the-money-but-not-half-assing-it performance in the live action film is so delightfully over the top that he manages to make the mere act of saying “Monkey” and “Bob-Omb” memorable and meme-worthy. While he’s a bit far off from what you’d totally want from Bowser, and his saurian form gets relegated to a two second cameo before his death, it’s hard for me to really give him less than a solid 7/10. He’s just too damn fun.

Meanwhile, Jack Black delivered a performance so good that it makes it easy to overlook the many problems the movie has (like its terrible needle drops). He’s just so fun, funny, and even genuinely intimidating, perfectly mixing all of the traits that make people love Bowser into one big, juicy package. I think everyone knew this was going to be a 10/10 performance right from the moment it was announced, but still it was pretty impressive just how well Black was able to slip into Bowser to the point he was almost unrecognizable at times.

No one would argue that Bowser deserves less than an 11/10; he is genuinely one of the single most important characters of the 21st century, and has made a mark on gaming that very few villains could match. He is to final bosses what Dracula is to vampires, what the Wicked Witch is to witches, and what Fu Manchu is to racist caricatures of Asian people. Other villains have more depth and complexity than Bowser, but that doesn’t really matter when he kidnaps Peach for the thousandth time and throws an army of freaky mushroom men and crazy turtles at you, because you’re gonna be there helping Mario stomp those Goombas to get to him. Bowser is just an icon, and his place in video game history is absolutely, utterly gargantuan.

JUST LIKE HIS DICK!

[rogue205]

Re-watched Coco because why not and cried at the end with Miguel and Coco because why not. I love that movie.

Looked up some stuff here on tumblr and actually found a few posts claiming that Imelda is not at all responsible for what nearly befell Hector in the Land of the Dead. I disagree. She IS partially responsible but not entirely like some others claim.

The one who is directly responsible for what happened is actually Ernesto de la Cruz and we all need to remember that but Hector himself and Imelda also hold blame for the events leading up to the film. Hector freely admits he was wrong and states he is at fault because he left that day with Ernesto. He willingly walked out that door. And this is true. However that does not mean he deserved what happened to him. Or how rough his afterlife was until Miguel showed up.

Imelda on the other hand…. I guess I can kinda understand where she’s coming from because she is suddenly a single mother raising a young daughter in the 20s and that’s hard especially since it’s right on the heels of WWI and the Spanish Flu. Some argue that it was because she loved Hector so much and was so hurt by his perceived abandonment which led to the music ban and ripping him out of the Rivera family tree. And okay, I can see that.

BUT!!! From what the film shows us of Hector, what precisely led Imelda to lose faith and believe that he would ever just abandon her and their daughter? I mean all communication suddenly stops and suddenly Ernesto is singing Hector’s songs and using his guitar, even mangling and disrespecting a special song that Hector wrote for his young daughter. And Imelda apparently never gets suspicious about any of this? She just believes that her husband decided to run off and leave them instead of at least tracking him down to find out “wtf?!” and follows this by forbidding ANY and ALL mention of him in the family because she ASSUMED he’d appear on someone else’s ofrenda. Yes she was hurt and angry so that explains the music ban and the throwing herself into her new business but not how she treated her husband in the Land of the Dead.

And all of these actions led to Hectors near permanent death at the climax of the film because no one even knew of him in the living family except Coco. And all they did know of him was stories created through Imelda’s incorrect assumptions. Yes, she didn’t know they were incorrect at the time but she could’ve found out at any point during her afterlife. Only she carried her assumptions there with her and never let him explain himself even though it should have been obvious that something strange was going on given how he was just 21 when he died. She also never thought that was just a bit suspicious? She also never really takes any responsibility for what her actions nearly did to him even when he takes full responsibility for what HE did. And given what we saw of Hectors personality, she probably never had to.

But I reiterate that the TRUE bad guy here is Ernesto.

This is just my stance on the movie. You don’t have to agree but I am also not wrong because you don’t agree with me. Just because I disagree with those who try to completely exonerate Imelda of her own choices and actions regarding Hector doesn’t mean they are wrong either. I’m just putting my own opinion out there.

[galwithalibrarycard]

I have now seen TLM (2023) and here is my review. The standout performances are Halle Bailey as Ariel, Jonah Hauer-King as Eric, and Daveed Diggs as Sebastian. They were wonderful. Sebastian definitely wins for getting the most laughs out of me. Halle Bailey is definitely an Actual Disney Princess. I’m so happy she got to make Ariel her own. Her version of Part of Your World is wonderful, and that’s my metric for any Ariel, so I’m thrilled.

The movie was visually lovely, and the relationship between Ariel and Eric was beautiful, playing on the same similarities between the characters that already existed in the original (and adding a few of their own, like Eric adorably having his own grotto/collection in the form of his study and showing Ariel his own treasures, which I loved.) (I was sad that they cut both Ariel’s and Eric’s love of music, though. No mermaids’ concert, no Eric playing the flute, and Sebastian is no longer the court composer. A shame.)

However, the changes to the plot were unneeded and weakened the character motivations of just about everyone, in a needless effort to insert a wrongheaded idea of “GirlBoss feminism” into what was always already the story of a girl who wanted to explore the human world as an anthropologist first and foremost, with Eric as the catalyst for her to act on her desire to leave. Ariel was already feminist for pursuing her passion and saving her man just as much as he ever saved her. This movie seems to posit that Ariel is a lesser person if any of her motivation at all includes her crush on Eric. The removal of her crush on Eric as an underlying motivator for her fight with her father in her grotto takes out so much of the flavor and emotion from their confrontation and her decision to go to Ursula. You don’t believe she actually wants to become human that badly anyway, because without her infatuation with Eric and her father’s reaction to that, she has much less reason to take the risk. Ariel can and should be BOTH a teenage girl with a crush and a human anthropologist who refuses to paint all humans with one brush of cruelty. The live action remake denies her that. There was never anything inherently wrong with her having and acting on feelings for her prince before she knew him, they didn’t need to remove that and they aren’t more feminist for doing so. Girls are allowed to be more than one thing.

Secondly, taking out original songs like Daughters of Triton and moving Fathoms Below to after Part of Your World gives the movie a slow, plodding start. Replacing the familiar refrains of the classic instrumentals from the animated movie with generic dramatic music removes much of the movie’s heart, and between that and the shrinking of Flounder’s role and friendship with Ariel, and the fact that Sebastian sings a slightly slower version of Under the Sea without accompaniment from any sea creatures except Ariel (nonsensical since she’s meant to be ignoring him, not singing along) - all contribute to sapping the magic from the first half of the film and rendering it, like the mermaid in Andersen’s original tale, largely soulless.

The magic only picks up when Ariel comes to land because of the excitement and wonder she feels at seeing and learning about the human world, as well as her heartwarming and palpable connection and romance with Eric. That’s beautiful, and again, Halle is a perfect Ariel in these moments. The only problems I have with her Ariel are the things the writers won’t allow her to do- to show her passion for Eric and the human world as fully entwined from the start and thus be more of Ariel’s bubbly self.

The final act again becomes frustratingly limited by what’s removed. Changing “we have to stop that wedding” to “we have to stop that engagement announcement party” is lowering the stakes to an absurd degree. Having Ariel be the one to kill Ursula removes the parallelism of Eric returning the favor of Ariel saving his life by saving hers. And it removes the reason for Triton to realize Eric is a good guy- Eric didn’t save Triton’s life, so Triton had way less reason to warm up to him. And Eric’s mom goes from “all mermaids are evil” to “guess they aren’t so bad” way too quickly. The story beats are all thrown off, just to let Ariel be a GirlBoss when she was already a hero in the original, and to give a couple minutes of a strange fakeout ending where you think she’s going back to the sea and will never be with Eric. It was too long a beat between her reunion with her dad and him deciding to make her human again.

Finally, the costumes disappointed me. They didn’t even try to give Halle Bailey an equivalent to the beautiful purple-blue sea foam dress Ariel wears at the very end when walking out of the sea to Eric, my favorite dress in the original movie. They didn’t really give her a wedding dress either, and in fact cut to after the wedding instead of showing it. And I still wish they’d actually given Halle’s beautiful locs Ariel’s trademark fire engine red color.

All in all, I knew this was never going to be the movie I’ve loved since I was three. It’s simply a different movie, and that’s okay. I’m disappointed because of where I’m coming from as a fan of the original, but I know there are so many people out there who are thrilled with it, and that makes me so happy for them. It really does. I can’t wait to keep following Halle Bailey’s career, and I hope I get to hear her sing Beyond My Wildest Dreams from the TLM Broadway musical someday. She’ll do it so much justice if she does. (I still wish that and Her Voice were in the movie instead of Ariel and Eric’s new songs, but what can you do?)

[helaelaemond]

I found a random headcanon prompts list and these are a few fun ones you could answer with Billy in mind? 🤠

Preferred weather?

Favorite music?

How’s their cooking?

It’s movie night, what movie do they pick?

What’s their sleeping position? (Oh please with GF, I need something to dreamily stare into a wall about 🫠)

Who do they go to for comfort?

Something small that they enjoy?

How do they feel about physical contact by others?

What is enough to bring them to tears?

Biggest pet peeve?

What’s something they like that may be surprising to others?

Any bad habits that they have? (Except for being played by alt-righters)

What’s their idea of a perfect vacation?

How well do they accept advice?

Do they like being in pictures?

What’s their morning schedule?

Something that disgusts them?

Omg Omg tysm for sending such a long list I love you I love you I love you!!!!!!!

Preferred weather - nothing too warm. He lives in London which can get very humid very quick, and buses/tubes are rancid in the heat. He likes it no warmer than 20oC, and sunny. Cloudy and rainy makes it too humid. When he’s on holiday, he likes the dry heat (I just knowwww he’s got fucked up on the Maga strip after a day of drinking and sunbathing)

Fav music - London grime remains unmatched!!!!! And he’s deffo got soft spot for video game soundtracks!

How’s their cooking? - if he put effort into it, he’d do just fine. However, he’s very reluctant to try, because the clean up involved after can be pretty daunting!

It’s movie night, what do they pick? - if he’s alone, a horror of the simple variety (a slasher, maybe). A mindless action, too, maybe. I also peg him as a Star Wars fan (idc why, I don’t care for it myself) so maybe one of the many tv shows or movies in that franchise!

What’s their sleeping position? - if he’s sleeping alone, he sleeps on his stomach in a starfish position, all stretched out. He usually goes to sleep that way, and wakes up on his side curled up around a pillow. When he’s with you, he finds himself being the little spoon. He still curls around a pillow, and it makes him feel so safe when you curl around him. Sometimes he likes to go to sleep facing you and holding your hand on the pillow between you.

Who do they go to for comfort? - no one. He’s a typical bloke who internalises a lot of stuff. However, if his mum approaches the subject of what’s bothering him, she has the best chance of getting him to open up and comforting him. She’s always been a barrier between him and his dad in the best way possible, and he sometimes feels safe enough to be genuinely vulnerable with her.

Something small that they enjoy? - seeing groups of teenagers having fun, being loud, laughing out and about. Yeah, it can be annoying as hell, but it reminds him of his younger days before things got complicated and bad, and he can appreciate reminders of those memories now.

How do they feel about physical contact from others? - he loathes it because he craves it so badly. He shies from it because it weighs too much, means too much. When he’s with a partner, he chases it and seeks it out at every chance he gets.

What is enough to bring them to tears? - reminders of his failures and inadequacies. This can be especially difficult when considering his professionally successful sister, with her stable job and partner and life, and his own self loathing eats him up.

Biggest pet peeve? - snobbery

What’s something that they like that may be surprising to others? - he’s very much a cat person. He likes their company and how they interact with the world, and once he cleans up his flat - and life - he swears he’ll get one of his own.

Any bad habits other than being a member of the alt right for a time? - smoking and vaping. He definitely is one of those smokers who just throws his fag on the floor when he’s done with it, and he deffo uses disposable vapes he’s a NASTY BOY!!!

What’s their idea of an ideal vacation? - lads holiday to one of the party islands in the Med. Up for the buffet at 8 and then beat the Germans to the sun loungers by the pool. Sleeping all day in the sun, boozing by lunch, shower and nap in the room til 6. Buffet dinner at 7, hotel bar til 10. Cross the strip to the first bar, and then hop into every establishment until 5am. Back to the room by 5:30, breakfast buffet at 8. Repeat 💪🏼😜

How well do they accept advice? - depends who it’s from. From dad? Poorly. Mum? Okay-ish. Lana? Well fuck she makes sims good points, he’ll consider it.

Do they like being in pictures? - he doesn’t hate it but he doesn’t mind it. Billy will never initiate taking pictures, but if he’s asked to be in one he’s usually game!

What’s their morning schedule? - sleep til 10, job centre by 11:30. He’s trying his best 🥹

Something that disgusts them? - genuinely the memories of the mistakes he made that hurt people and led to his car being turned into a giant bomb.

Tysm this was so fun omfg ily!!! 💖💖💖

[berlinbabylon]

review of s4 (skip if you don’t want to read criticism)

SPOILER WARNING

so, i finished season 4 a couple of days ago and... i liked some parts of it and one episode was good (episode 8) but for the most part i really absolutely hated this season and i never thought i would say that. in my opinion, it actually got worse towards the end! i must be living in a different reality from everyone else.

i’m sorry. i really am. but i have to get this off my chest:

- charlotte double-wielding guns and shooting up those white hand idiots like she’s in a john woo movie? awesome! except... it was dumb af. this could have been so good, i’m a huge genre fan of this type of action, but not at the expense of a character’s intelligence. there was zero reason for her to barge in there when she did. at least make it seem like they’re just about to kill the good pathologist, have them string him up or whatever and she sees and has absolutely no alternative but to intervene. or have them conclude their meeting and start making for the door. please, i’m begging, just anything to make her desperate actions make sense.

- malu taking a shot for kiddie fiddler wendt? thanks, i fucking hate it. for that matter, i hate what they did to wendt’s character.

- for that matter, awesome lgbt+ rep or uhmm not. reinhold and fred don’t even get a kiss or any significant scene together (the couples date at the very end is cute but too little too late) although fred actually has a fairly important role to play this season. we never even really get to see them talk about his decision to work for that nazi paper. like, what. okay, fred quits at the end, good for him, but does this qualify as a character arc now?

- speaking of lgbt+ rep, them blowing up the esther/edgar/walter polycule only to have walter go “well whattaya gonna do. i loved him ¯\_(ツ)_/¯” right as he croaks was the most ridiculous thing i’ve seen in a long while and didn’t land at all. i actually cackled. i can’t believe they turned the complex dynamic they had introduced in s3 into this clichéd jealousy mess that had no nuance whatsoever. i’m stunned people preferred their storyline this season. it didn’t track at all. neither did edgar showing up again (as i had predicted) and gereon believing him about wanting to broker peace in the underworld. el oh el.

- also edgar being like “oh btw we need to kill doktor schmidt, he’s an evil mastermind” was an absolutely ridiculous and lame way to try and advance that storyline. it also just got dumped in there and you don’t get any sense that it’s influencing gereon or his character actions at all. not that he has much of an arc or anything this season anyway but back when the show was still good (and by good i mean exceptional), his drug addiction and guilt complex was a major driving force behind much of what he did, how he behaved at work etc. here, in s4, you have to be grateful that they belatedly remember to send him to confession because he’s a catholic but that scene also just unceremoniously gets dumped in there. not to compare but since we have already seen an absolutely outstanding confession scene this tv season (in interview with the vampire, fabulously acted by jacob anderson), i couldn’t help but notice how the confession with gereon was neither written well, nor particularly acted well, nor integrated in its episode well, nor, in fact, scored well.

- max raabe’s ein tag wie gold is a bop but other than that, this season was not scored well and i say that as someone who owns the first two soundtrack releases on vinyl. there were many times when i noticed that something was off, where the music actively worked against the scene it was supposed to be enhancing. the song at the shabbat dinner was nice but as a jewish friend who i watched it with pointed out, them playing piano on shabbat is very sus, even if they’re a reform household. there was a woman with a wig which indicates (ultra) orthodox. not going to nitpick that scene any further though because the shabbat dinner and abe goldstein’s character in general were a highlight (although i loathed the storyline he was stuck in).

- tell me you don’t want to write actors out of the show without telling me. nyssen and helga have long overstayed their welcome. nyssen they could justify by having him pop up from time to time in connection to the rocket science “plot”. but he’s lars eidinger (who’s great), so. helga has just become whatever they needed her to be. anne marie’s actress had some extremely dodgy acting going on this season, sorry to say. i don’t even want to talk about the idiocy of how they wrote this storyline which could have been extremely good and important. i’ll just say that i laughed my ass off when anne marie clocked abe with her flute but generally it was not a good choice to play these kidnappings for laughs (and i guess these rich people just have no security whatsoever, even after the first kidnapping). there’s a time and a place and this storyline wasn’t it. but rich people, funny, or something. well, they are ridiculous.

- the whole story with the butler. talk about wasting screentime. his götz von berlichingen monologue was also really bad although i was delighted when i heard the verses. it just didn’t land. that goes for many scenes this season imo. i don’t know if it was the directing or what but even stuff that looks interesting on paper just does not come across well. it just comes across as ridiculous and manieriert. but not in the good way. (there is a way to do this well and the show used to walk that line very well. not anymore, it seems.)

- (side note: the frivolity of the movie industry provided the perfect pastiche for that sort of thing in s3. which is why i really vibe with it, as someone who’s a huge fan of 1930s movies. didn’t even mind that they relocated the apex of expressionism into the late 1920s when that’s very ahistorical. but anyway that’s a different topic.)

- actually as a last point on the nyssen storyline, abe goldstein shooting a hole in the ship instead of shooting anne marie in the head made me groan. it was so obviously written that way just to give her a chance to pop up later again. it made absolutely no sense, even if you try to handwave it as an attempt at poetic justice. neither did helga leaving her down there make any sense. she had no way of knowing that abe would kill her or make it seem like he killed her. at that point, helga still looked like she could think straight, she didn’t tumble around deliriously, she made a clear choice. and they just did it for the twist, not because it made sense for the character in that moment.

- the show was always very drunk on coincidences, twists of fate etc in that 19th century charles dickens / victor hugo way and i could dig that for the most part because they had this rich tapestry of social commentary going on. while i can still appreciate the breadth of society that they’re trying to show, it now comes across as shallow, there’s no immersion, i was extremely distanced from everything going on and couldn’t have cared less, which is a damn shame considering that this is where we should start feeling even more involved.

- as for one storyline that i couldn’t have cared less about: everything to do with toni. in fact, i think it would have been far more poignant if we hadn’t seen her for a season and hadn’t known what had become of her after running away and then when we least expect it, charlotte comes across her living on the streets, maybe while chasing a suspect or something. now that’s a coincidence i could buy. and such a scene would play like a gut punch. but they rob themselves of any dramatic impact by wanting to overexplain and overshow and being all pedagogical which is a huge problem in the writing of german tv shows and s4 of babylon berlin has started showing all the hallmarks of mediocre german tv and it makes me feel sick, considering how stylish and epic the previous seasons were.

- toni’s actress is not good. i’m sorry. i just have to say it. but also, they stuck her in a nothing storyline. moritz’ actor fares better but if they wanted to pair off the spares and get rid of them, they needed to do that in a way that would’ve left more screentime for the interesting and/or relevant stuff. like, uhm, everything to do with malu/litten/charlotte etc. it’s a damn crime that they didn’t do anything with lotte being fired from the police and then hired by litten. nothing. she gets to mope around at the bar a little bit and poor jacky gets to be her hapless sounding board (he deserves better, so many characters and actors in this cast deserve better). and then she gets to be gereon’s emotional support system. once again, charlotte is deprived of any and all agency and no, the double-wielding scene does not make up for it. the scenes in that haus sonneborn institution were well-shot, the horror film genre influence was clear, but unfortunately i don’t much care for horror films and i also, at that point, did not much care for toni or her friend or the pathologist (f*ck him for getting rudi killed in a very lame rip-off of stephan’s much superior exit) and we all knew lotte wasn’t going to die. that’s what i mean by immersiveness: where in previous seasons i’d have been on the edge of my seat with tension and dread, this didn’t elicit much emotion from me at all. except for the groan when lotte did her thing at the end there. the only good thing to come out of that was her conversation with gereon about her guilt which was the only time in the entire season where i believed a scene between them, emotionally, and was invested.

- i guess that, on the bright side, she got to be happy. i support that. even though i don’t believe it should have to come at the expense of the show being good. and she still had to go through that awful ordeal of the dance marathon. (one of the few memorable scenes of the season, at the very least.)

- random but i very much liked the actor playing oskar. and he was very much underutilized. really, don’t get me started on the entire debacle that was malu’s storyline. i think i’d rather have watched an entire season set on that zeppelin than what we ended up with.

- litten not even being in the finale should actually be considered a crime against humanity considering he’s literally the best character on the show at this point. for that matter, the trial against katelbach and the undermining of the legal system and the press should have been a much bigger arc and point. katelbach still being a comic relief character only used to bumble about not knowing whether he did propose to behnke or not is absolutely ridiculous. these are the characters we’ve come to know and care about and they were paid absolute dirt in s4. behnke’s best scene was the train heist and even that was not edited or scored well but hey, at least it was amusing and they did something with some sort of flair there.

- going back to lotte for a moment. i’m happy for the charlotte/gereon shippers that they got so much fucking out of them this season (to be crude, then again so is the show) but i can’t be the only one who thought they were awkward as all hell together. i never shipped them but i did always like their dynamic and i thought their kiss in s3 was magical. what they did with them here did absolutely nothing for me, i cringed when she visited him at the station and their idea of sexy talk in between kisses was discussing case-related work. none of it had the levity, flirtation or charm you’d see in a lubitsch film (one of the alleged inspos for this season) although liv lisa fries sold the hell out of her infatuated smiles and looks. volker bruch trying to smile was physically painful to me, however. sure, it could be charming that he’s an awkward turtle duck but considering everything we know about the bts issues, it really didn’t endear me any further. i dread having to watch them be awkward together in future seasons and i absolutely dread lotte’s only purpose being tied up in that. for that matter, how did she earn her badge back at the end? surely not with her double-wielding gun action? but it’s not like the show really cared to pursue this as a storyline or her as a character this season, so why should i care.

- the way they threw rukeli in there at the very end of the season was almost offensively bad. i was extremely excited for him to show up ever since they had insinuated that he’s her half-brother in s3. the actor here was fine (i wouldn’t count on him being accurately or sensitively cast bc german productions usually don’t do this, haven’t checked it, however) but you’re really going to do a whole season where boxing is at the very least on the periphery and you’re only going to throw him in at the end to make some sort of point? we didn’t even get to stay with him and lotte during their first meeting? we’re just supposed to believe they have some sort of relationship now after that camera shot panned out, showing them through the window of the café? i’m sorry but what?

- worst of all: them having him use chalk as white paint to mock the nazis in the audience to make a point. you can’t make a character we’ve barely even met the dramatic and emotional high point of the season. and i’m sorry but rukeli was a real person and in real life he was forced to present himself with bleached hair and white paint in an “aryanized” form, this was part of the abuse he suffered!!! it makes me absolutely mad to think about how they tried to turn this into some kind of empowerment thing here. nevermind that at this point in time, audiences were still overwhelmingly on his side and actually protested against fights being rigged against him. i just absolutely hate everything this scene chooses to be. i also hate how gereon walks up to that one guy who can command~ the crowd and we get a flashback to something that happened in the same episode, like, just 30 minutes earlier, to remind us that this is the guy he refused to shoot so they can defuse the situation in the dumbest most construed way possible. i feel like i’m losing my mind when i see people say that this is good writing. good writing would have involved audiences not needing a flashback to something that happened in the same episode, just because almost nothing in this season is giving anything resembling the appropriate weight and focus.

- speaking of which, the case of the season was so uninteresting and lame i even forgot to talk about it. and i still don’t have anything to say. except one thing: why did weintraub not immediately suspect that something was up with max (the henchman) when that car bomb went up killing the other henchman? because weintraub arrived in the car, went inside, came back outside and suddenly a bomb has been attached to his car in the meantime and max was standing there all the time? like, what?? this season is littered with this dumb shit and maybe it was prevalent in the other seasons as well and i just chose to overlook it because there was so much for me to love but i genuinely can’t believe five adults wrote this season and struggled so much with thinking any of it through. it feels like they just had little chess figures with pictures of the characters attached to them and tried moving them across a board.

- oh and one more thing about the flashback issue. böhm and his family being in that apartment at the very end was an absolutely ridiculous scene. his money issues were well-telegraphed, a little too well-telegraphed if you ask me, and his involvement in the shoot-up was already extremely obvious by the time his wife demands to know where he’s got his money from. that bit where he collapses against the wall and we get all these flashbacks to things an audience that’s half-way intelligent and half-way paying attention has already gotten long ago was just embarrassing for the show. the issue wasn’t just with the flashback, however, it was also with the way it was shot and edited. so many scenes this season really don’t land as intended. i feel bad for the actors because they’re doing their best and they’re also not at fault for this weird issue in german shows where they do really bad ADR (re-dubbing scenes when there were sound issues in the footage from set, it makes dialogue sound very unnatural and strange and the show always had this issue in certain scenes but in this season it’s amplified to the max, i almost couldn’t watch the edgar/gereon reunion because of the bad sound engineering). but woof that böhm family scene could have been a highlight but the way he creepily said something to the effect of them never being separated (probably telegraphing an eventual fate that we call “erweiterter suizid” in german where usually a man kills his family and then himself) and then the show just straight up cutting to the nyssen last will scene without giving any of it the time to sink in was absolutely comical. i’m sorry. but there are scenes this season that feel amateur and i don’t think you can blame it on covid when the editing is at issue.

- having said all of that, i was excited for gereon’s arc this season and imo they never did anything of note with him undercover in the SA. why not have him befriend stennes for real, become conflicted about what he’s trying to do (and, well, in fact him and the police president do want stennes to succeed so it wouldn’t even have been that outlandish). him talking to the police president about the mission at home while his very much indoctrinated nephew is in listening distance was so so dumb omg.

- the stennes putsch which i also was very much looking forward to was such a flop that fizzled out without any real spark. his confrontation with wendt was lame af. the actor is awesome, his interactions with wendt in s3 were intriguing and this what it all leads up to? gdi. i can’t believe they wasted so much time on that homophobic blackmail material plot when it was never even picked up again after it got stennes out of prison. he never should have gone to prison before the putsch, he already had his conflict with wendt from last season, they could have saved so much time on this and dedicated it to something actually interesting. and if you actually want to get into the messiness of homophobia and homosexuality in the SA, röhm and all, you better be prepared to bring on figures like magnus hirschfeld (it’s honestly ridiculous he hasn’t even been referenced on the show yet because he was super famous in berlin and germany in general and also a favorite target of the nazis). reference the harden-eulenburg affair. do something with this. not just have wendt buggering a kid in a park. i like that gräf was quietly pissed at gereon about the whole thing but this should never have been a storyline in the way it was implemented.

- it really ruined wendt on top of things. not that it made him worse as a person because he was already bad before (though lbr it did make him worse ofc) but it made him a whole lot more uninteresting as a villain (he only seemed to find his groove back in the last two episodes). the interesting part of his dynamic with malu in s3 was the intellectual clash of ideologies. while i did not and do not ship them, i was very intrigued to see where they would take that in s4. well, i have my answer. they skipped any and all interesting and relevant development and turned it into an extremely clichéd and lame honey trap plot because we all know communists loved honey traps. groan. (yes, i watched the americans.) also, rilke is my favourite poet and has been for many many years and wendt needs to keep his words out of his damn mouth. i can’t believe they revealed that wendt used to sexually abuse underaged boys and still wanted us to think that his relationship with malu is in any way romantic, cute or intriguing?

- i was so rooting for doktor völcker to get him and then malu just had to take a bullet for him. bruh. just when i thought i couldn’t hate this season more. i know i already mentioned it but still. at least she didn’t die from it, small blessings, but her getting shot straight through the chest and then being back to spy shenanigans on the zeppelin not much later was just the height of ridiculousness. i always hated the train confrontation between gereon and bruno and it seems that the show is very very determined to evermore move towards that pulpy comic book-y version of the show that i can barely tolerate in order to get to the good stuff. but when there’s barely any good stuff to get to, it gets tough.

- do i even want to talk about edgar? him taking the kids away from esther was lame. anything to do with esther was lame. i can’t even muster more to say and edgar/gereon was one of my absolute favourite dynamics in s1/2 so i should’ve been overjoyed to see it make a return here. but, in the eternal words of the matrix: not like this.

- finally, doktor schmidt, eh? well. where to begin. first of all, jens harzer is one of the best living german actors, he’s phenomenal, and the fact that he still gets so little development is a fucking joke, frankly speaking. i might have liked his scene with alfred lying on the floor best. at least it was funny. his sessions with gereon were hamfisted in their analogies. his last scene with gereon also didn’t land, it was just groan-worthy. gereon repeating back his words just made it all the more obvious how much of their luster they have lost at this point. i can’t believe someone spoke schmidt’s platitudes in a serious way like some sort of cool mic drop when the “quelle der angst” stuff only works in that hypnotic evil drugged out therapy session way jens harzer says it. the cgi was also bad but that’s neither here nor there (there was a surprising number of badly lit and framed scenes in this season, idk if they changed cinematographers but even the staple shot of following a centered gereon with his hat around became extremely overused). the thing is that i’ve long been convinced that doktor schmidt isn’t actually anno / gereon’s brother, so i should be happy that he seems to be finally be revealed as a svengali type which i also find very fitting for the movies and culture the show references as well as the history it tries to reflect (in fact, this season was as thematically rich as ever, with many metaphors and analogies for the rise of evil etc etc but what good is that if it’s all pedagogical and the actual character writing is either non-existent or utter bullshit?). they’ve dragged this out for too long now. they also, and this might be the worst offense, have completely lost the connection gereon is supposed to have to this plot. nevermind helga or moritz. have doktor schmidt be a svengali figure, fine, love that, i vibe with it, but that doesn’t mean this plot should have no advancement. it really feels like they treaded water for as long as they could because they only had a very vague idea of where they wanted to go with this and still needed to figure out the details. well, hire some fucking writers (and by that i don’t mean hire your wife, like one of the director/writers did for s4).

- i’ve really come to loathe this very german tradition of producers, directors and others thinking they can write scripts themselves and that there are barely any decent writers around who are just that, writers. we have some that are barely okay but the structural issues of underpayment etc ensure that the talent that exists can’t turn this into a job. instead you really just have nepotism and all those people who think they can write but where the wheels eventually come off. now i’ve loved babylon berlin for a very long time, i’ve been there since the beginning, i’ve actually been there since the first press announcement (the show spent a lot of time in production hell before s1/2 saw the light of day, the budget kept ballooning etc). and i will say that i think the first three seasons featured some of the best that german tv has to offer. (s3 slightly less so but it was still entertaining and i think they did a really good job introducing a number of great characters like malu and litten in it, plus sabin tambrea is always fun!) but i must now question whether i was not more so taken in by the direction, the music, the style, and some very expertly shot and executed scenes that the show either cannot or does not want to afford anymore. the type of scenes that are needed to let the wild and often nonsensical plotting breathe and give the characters a chance to shine, to give all of it depth and resonance. i’m really so profoundly sad by the direction this show’s quality has taken and i have no idea whether it’s because one of the directors did more this season than the others, whether it was because of the new writers (i hope not). whatever happened, they had enough prep time and this just ain’t it.

- last point: i know how annoying it is when a show that you love gets hated on by others, so this is the last thing i’ll say about that. but i really needed to get this off my chest because i’ve been loving the show for a very long time, i’ve been investing a lot of time (not so much in recent years but before that) into spreading the word, at least here on tumblr and irl where i got several people into the show who all disliked s4 as well btw, i loved making gifs (which is also why i’d say i have a very good eye for the cinematography and style of the show and all the finer details but gif-making isn’t a real credential ofc lol). and i’m usually quite chill about stuff, i’m neither a super stan even when i love something (which is also why i didn’t watch it first thing it came out) nor am i a hater when i don’t like something but a case like this, where i genuinely loved something and it turns sour, that hurts, man. i’ll probably watch the next season - if there’s a next season! - because i still hold out hope that it might be better, i think it’s an important history to tell and the show had everything set up in order to tell it. there are two gif sets i want to make of this season (which is also always a good gauge for me to tell how i feel about something, and even those sets aren’t sets i absolutely want to do but i’ll do them nonetheless at some point; probably). after that i don’t think i will use this blog much anymore but i’ll keep it online for as long as tumblr is online because i always find it annoying when other people delete their stuff.

so long und auf wiedersehen!

[courtneysmovieblog]

The live action “Little Mermaid” is great, get over it

If there’s one thing all the backlash of The Little Mermaid has proven, it’s that the Disney fandom has gotten pretty toxic. And I’m not just talking about all the racist tantrums over Halle Bailey being cast as Ariel.

Are the live-action version of cherished animated films necessary? Of course not. Are the CGI versions of characters we know and love weird-looking? Yes. Are some of the story changes dumb? Yes.

But do not treat the people that actually enjoy them like they’re any less of Disney fans as anyone else. People are allowed to like whatever they like without being accused of somehow betraying the original films.

That being said, while I have enjoyed most of the live action movies, warts and all (with the exception of Pinocchio and Lady and the Tramp because they sucked), I can honestly say that the new Little Mermaid is probably the best one to date. Say what you want about Rob Marshall, the man knows how to do a musical.

From the very second we heard Halle Bailey sing “Part of Your World” in the trailer, we knew she was going to be awesome. And she’s more than just that beautiful voice, she plays Ariel with all the passion and fearlessness that made us fall in love with her back in 1989. It’s ironic that critics are quick to dismiss her version of Ariel as “too feminist” when the character has been unfairly derided as antifeminist for so long.

Also in her favor is her amazing chemistry with Jonah Hauer-King, who plays Prince Eric. As much as we loved the animated version, it was a necessary change to flesh out their romance more than just love at first sight. Hauer-King, for his part, gives Eric more depth than he had in the original, and the scenes with them interacting are what really make the movie great.

Melissa McCarthy--I never doubted her for a second. For once, Disney didn’t screw up their classic villain. This Ursula is even more evil than before, and fabulously so. She doesn’t just chew the scenery, she eats it up and leaves no crumbs to be found.

Regarding Flounder and Sebastian and Scuttle: just ignore the CGI. Daveed Diggs is a delightful Sebastian--his version of “Under the Sea” is a blast. Jacob Tremblay is a perfect Flounder. And love or hate Awkwafina, she made me laugh as Scuttle. You’re going to have to come to your own conclusions about her solo song though.

The lighting is nowhere near as dark as some people were complaining--or perhaps it just looks better on the movie screen. And while the underwater scenes may not be realistic, it’s lovely to see all the bright and colorful sea creatures.

The Little Mermaid shouldn’t be dismissed as a pale shadow of the animated movie. It’s a fun movie on its own, and it was obviously made by people who love everything we love about Disney classics. Don’t let the racists, nitpickers, and overall killjoys stop you from from enjoying it.

But if nothing else, this is definitely Halle Bailey’s breakthrough role. And if there’s any justice in the world, she’ll be swimming in more casting offers very soon.

8 out of 10

[lady-knight-]

I’ve once supposed this: https://lady-knight-.tumblr.com/post/186046772388/how-the-little-mermaid-live-action-will-look

Now I’ve seen the remake of The Little mermaid? Spoilers! But movies are out earlier in Europe (wednesdays instead of fridays in France). Anyway...

I did not had access to any leaks, but based on how Beauty and the Beast and Aladdin remakes looked like, I ‘m starting to see a pattern…So, very probably:

-Scenery, special effects, musics and costumes will be gorgeous. Costumes will be more detailed and diversified.

(I picture Ariel in stuff like this as a mermaid. it will very likely preserve her modesty more).

- Scenery, special effects, musics were indeed  gorgeous (especially during “Under the Sea”), except that Scuttle’s rap was cringy and Eric’s castle prettier in the original.   Costumes on the other hand were not that spectacular and no new ones, Ariel has the same blue dress when she wore the pink princess dress, the town outfit, or the purple magic dress. 

It resembles, in color, the teal dress she have in parks and merchandising since tough.

 Sadly, she just have an organic bra (how?) not the elaborated bra I thought of.

-Eric and Ariel will likely met more than once, to avoid the scandal of “She change herself for a man-and she never actually spoke to him.” Eric will certainly don’t get she is a mermaid, if he just see her bust out of water.

-Wrong, they met once! Finally they go with “Screw it with the unrealistic love at first sight, we’ll play it straight”,  albeit Ariel has the time to overhear how much Eric have in common with her. Wish it was did for Aladdin and Jasmine as well.

-There will be new characters (Eric’s parents?) or ascended extras (Ariel’ s sisters?).

-I’m right, we see Eric’s mother! But the sisters, not much more, finally.

-Small details will be revealed (such as Eric’s kingdom name).

-We still have no idea how it is named. But we know what Eric was doing on a boat for his birthday (he’s back from a trip to Europe, and he’s an adventurer in contrast of his secluded king father).

-His palace will be more crowded. The dinner scene from the cartoon will turn into a reception scene.

-It’s more crowded, as there are the queen, servants in the kitchen, guards, and another maidservant in addition of Carlotta, who was renamed  Lashana. But the dinner scene was cut.

-We will notably learn how Ariel’s mother died.

-We do, but it’s vague, apparently an human killed her. Certainly a fisherman who thought she was a giant fish?

-Problems of of logic will be explained (for instance, merpeople ‘s alphabet is  very different form the human one, explaining why Ariel, who did not learn it, cannot write who she is to Eric once she is muted.)

-It's not explained out loud (nobody ask Ariel to write down her story in human world), but she can't write, period. It's implied when she gives a scale to Ursula  instead of signing her contract. Also and like in Once upon a time, she compares the fork to a mini trident instead of reacting like she never seen such an object before. 

-And others problems will be created. For instance, if Eric and Ariel saw and actually speak to each other before she is turned into an human, how on earth he does not recognize her face then?

-Ursula cast a spell on Ariel so she forgets the necessity to kiss Eric while on land, and Sebastian, Flounder and Scuttle have to act secretly to bring them closer. Uh, why? That's the biggest new plot hole to me. Was it to justify that Ariel do not tries anything except during "Kiss the girl"?  Well, as a "true love kiss" is needed, of course Ariel could not just randomly forcibly kiss Eric, certain circumstances were needed. Plus it’s borderline cheating for Ursula.

-Sebastian, Scuttle,  Flounder, Flotsam and Jetsam will certainly be cameos. If not, they will be muted. Under the sea and Kiss the girl will be sung by others characters.

-The casting of  Jacob Tremblay and Awkwafina proves that Flounder and Scuttle will talk. I thought of a gender bender (because of Kaa example) but I wasn’t sure.

-Ok, I've already said I was wrong here...But I'm actually half wrong. Sebastian, Flounder and Scuttle still talk (and sing) as speaking for a mute heroine is obsiously needed. But every other beast does not, including Flotsam and Jetsam (Ursula speak through a magical projection to Ariel in her grotto, to tempt her). Background animals are muted as well: "Under the sea" is sung by Ariel and Sebastian, and "Kiss the girl" by  Sebastian, Flounder and Scuttle only.

-There will be a new song, very likely a Eric’s solo (like Her voice in Broadway.)

-He does! But I still prefer "Her voice" (don't ask). And a new Ariel solo.

-Ursula will certainly be afro- american (like in  Once upon a time.) Maybe, she look purple by CGI. And much prettier than the original. 

 -Ursula will not be played by an afro-american actress. Really? Until then, Lizzo was totally who I had in mind.

-Ok, wrong for her ethnicity. But she is purple and much prettier indeed.

-She will have a strong backstory and motivation. Either she will be Ariel’s aunt (it was considered in the cartoon), or suffer fantastic racism towards cecaelias (octopus mermaids).

-And she is Ariel's aunt, but the latter state that Ursula brought troubles between merfolks and humans. And? That's evasive. The reason why Ursula was banished remains a mystery.

- Maybe the same actress will play Vanessa.

-No! But she is still a white actress.

 It surprised me as I thought the habit to cast African-american actresses to play Ursula would be reused here. Plus, she looks misplaced: it's a west Indian kingdom, and Eric appearance is explained (not necessary according to me) by the fact he was adopted. Apart from him, a few sailors,  and a justified Jodi Benson cameo, everybody else have more or less Caribbean features.

-Ariel will be motivated by something else (like an immediate danger) , in addition of  Eric, to accept Ursula’s pact.

-No. Still, she hesitate more, and come very near to renounce to the pact with Ursula.

-Ursula won’t be giant.

-She will transform Flotsam and Jetsam instead.

-Ah! The stupidity of Maleficient and Jafar turning Diaval in a dragon and Iago in a sort of rock bird was not done here. Flotsam and Jetsam die the same way, and Ursula turn into a monster.

-Ariel will kill her, not Eric.

-She does! I should have took bets.

-Ariel and Eric will be emotionally very distant. When she’ll definitively gain legs, no twirl of love or kiss, just: “Ok, cool, what’s for dinner?”

-Much more attention, alchemy’s construction  and screen time will be put into a secondary couple, like for instance the one of Sir Grimsby and Carlotta (they are not a couple, but could become one in the remake if it keeps the same pattern).

I’m taking bets!

-Belle and the Beast and Aladdin and Jasmine being emotionally very distant was irritating. Fortunately Ariel and Eric seems more convincingly in love. Except, perhaps, when he see her as an human for the first time. It's  very short and fell flat (because it's a random fisherman and not him who finds Ariel as an human just after she transformed). When she definitively gain legs, no twirl of love, but they kiss. It was irritating as well to see more focus put on the story between the Genie and the maidservant. Fortunately, no beta couple here, not even  Sir Grimsby and Lashana.

-But, by the way…a mixed race Ariel go hand in hand with another possible prediction, that I had in mind since Aquaman came out:

-Triton will be younger, hotter, and played by an afro american or Maori actor, covered in tattoos and with dreadlocks in his hair. Basically, he will be Jason Momoa! Aquaman? Exactly.

Despite he’s a Maori and seems far from the shaved, blond, and white Arthur Curry, Momoa have  still bleached hair, and Aquaman had a beard in the 90′s, so…

Another possibility is that the story will be relocated in the Caribbeans islands.

-Ok: Triton is not that younger or sexier, with my due respect, have no tattoos nor dreadlocks, nor he's  Afro american or Maori. But he's Spanish still. 

And the story  relocated in the Caribbeans islands? Exactly! ! I should definitely  have took bets.

We complain, but we can’t say Disney never learn when it come to remakes. It’s not identical (notably because of the   Caribbeans settings). But not too different. It did not try to excuse the villain, nor avoided to play straight love at first sight because it’s not realistic and blah blah blah (I wish they realized this when Aladdin was remade). Ariel still change herself “for a man” (or not, she already was obsessed by human world before, remember?), it’s true love played straight, deal with it. A notable difference, is Ariel not only killing Ursula, but also tearing and breaking her necklace to get her voice back instead of Scuttle. Some regret the more proactive princesses of today, and the fact that the prince do not save the princess. The act of saving someone is seen as an act of true love...But I don’t mind,  as even if it is the princess who saves the guy, it’s still true love.

Eric was the damsel, but I don’t mind. 

[perpetuallyconfuzzled]

Yo’ can I nag and theorize about Beauty & the Beast (1991+2017) for a second???

You’re still here??? OKAY COOL CAUSE I AM NOT HOLDING BACK ANY LONGER, HOLD ON CAUSE ITS A LONG ONE SO while I can admit I did like a few things from the Live-Action remake version of Beauty & the Beast, mostly how stunning the cinematography and animation was as well as the music (I AM A SLUT FOR EVERMORE) the thing that was breaking my head was how obvious the movie was trying to justify the plot holes of the first movie like a ‘wink wink nudge nudge’ while accidentally making it seem worse???   and even more when I don’t think it was necessary cause kids either never realized or came up with their own little HCs on how that happened (And yes I will mention what my childhood interpretation was cause darn it I am actually proud of this many-year-in-the-making-theory that I keep adding on to and I refuse to be embarrassed about it any longer, heck maybe others thought the exact same thing too so I shall bite the bullet and be cringe as hell!) btw I divided this shit in case you just wanted to know why I thing the new enchantress was an asshat with her curse (The Nagging) or read the interpretation/theorizing I’ve been doing since I was a child (The Theory)

The Nagging half-

okay so first things first the new movie says that the beast would become a monster and the rest of staff living in the castle would also suffer the spell’s magic until the beast learned how to love and be loved by another, all before the last petal fell if not they would be stuck like this forever (except the staff, they’d become actual furniture and leave a mad beast all alone) mind you, ALL OF THIS was also taking into account that NO ONE would ever remember anyone that was inside this castle, including family members like spouses or siblings (heck even children or parents would forget)

Meanwhile the OG Disney movie said that the beast and those in the castle would fall for her spell until the beast learned how to love and be loved by another (same as always) BUT the last petal would fall on his 21st birthday, if he didn’t get his shit together by 21 he a monster forever.... and that was about it

Now that that’s out of the way, how is the 2017 movie’s enchantress nOT CONSIDERED A BIGGER ASSHOLE THAN THE OTHER ONE?! 

“Ah, yes! I will make you learn your lesson of compassion by making everyone that’s ever known of you forget y’all ever even existed even tho most of those villagers are your loved ones. I shall give you this magic rose whose petals will sporadically fall and you will NEVER KNOW which year will be your last of sentience. I will make you also stop aging while those outside (again, most are family members and friends) may age and die!”

and they DO outright state that MANY years passed with them waiting yet never aging, and judging by the villagers all living their life normally and having memories of time passing by I am guessing they didn’t get affected by that same magic (unless they are all trapped in a loop which is horrifying) 

“But wait!”

you may say

“Maybe that much time didn’t actually pass! all their family is there after all!”

My friend that means either the Enchantress gave the poor guy like 2 years to stop being an asshole and get himself a girlfriend somehow OR that those inside the castle felt time pass much much faster and both does scenarios sound hellish, actual faerie shit. 

How was this man suppose to do this??? Also the lady just sat there in the village waiting just for fun? to see if something did happen? Woman legit let a riot of scared villagers storm the castle of the guy she enchanted and let possibly kill/destroy a family member or friends THAT THEY DIDN’T EVEN KNOW EXISTED and did nothing until belle finally confessed her love for beast so she could walk in all casual and lift the spell. What if it was too late huh? just take the dead rose, tip your hat to the mourning woman and dead monster you cursed and walk away never letting go of the amnesia spell? MR POTTS COULD HAVE HIS GOD DAMN CHILD AND WIFE TURN INTO EXTREMELY BREAKABLE AND INANIMATE OBJECTS AND HE’D NEVER FUCKING KNOW

HOW IS THAT NOT EXTREMELY FUCKING MESSED UP?! FAE SHIT MAN I TELL YOU!!

She is somehow making the OG enchantress seem reasonable and that one turned a poor 11 year old who called her ugly once into a monster!

The Theory half- 

“okay smartypants, do YOU have a better idea?”

I DON’T KNOW BUT I CAN TRY!! I’ve had this cooking in my head since I was a kid so let me tell you what OG enchantress was doing and what was going on!

First point, yes I am a firm believer that the “Ten years we’ve been rusting” was not an exaggeration cause, at least in my kiddy mind, it made absolute sense cause it would explain why the beast was so nasty with Belle and acting like an animal, he’s lived like a beast since he was a kid! His table manners are absolutely the result of 10 years without needing hold a spoon to eat. The other thing that made me think he was actually a kid when he got cursed was the fact that he couldn’t read that well, he even admits that he knew little and that it was a long time ago since he had done so! Imagine being 11 and turning into a monster with your only guardians all becoming talking objects, don’t think anyone could really sit him down to help him read!  That and I remember watching a Beauty and the Beast Christmas movie years ago and believe me that prince does NOT look or behave a day older than 13 year old but that's mostly extra It could also explain why no one pay any mind to that weird castle on the hills. Admittedly I also thought as a child that the only logical conclusion was that the spell made everyone forget there was a castle with a prince nearby but after more thought (and falling out of love for the idea after considering the implications and how little that would actually help towards the beast since the curse was so he’d learn a lesson) it really doesn’t need such a specific or convoluted explanation like, if you see a big big castle that has no one going in and out for years you would assume it was abandoned and/or haunted right? most people would have stirred away from the clearly abandoned and creepy place! They were a tiny peasant village at the other side of the woods that was a day or so away from a cross road that either led to a main road towards more villages and the capitol or more woods and the lonely palace (judging by Belle’s dad’s navigating scene), and its also royal property so its not far fetched that most villagers wouldn’t be going anywhere near their so it makes sense the weren’t really up to date with the prince, do you know what your president, their brother or youngest son is doing right now and where they are living without using your phone, TV or newspaper? “okay but then the Enchantress was just legit evil, she saw some rude kid and cursed him! That was a kid!” Oh I am with you on that one but I can kind of think of her (fairy?) logic as to why she’d decide to curse such a young child. An old lady knocks at your door, it is a cold dark night, wolves are known to roam nearby, you know its about a day’s travel to the nearest village by horse how well would an old frail lady fair on such journey by foot? It’s a miracle she’s made it here and all she asks of you is a place to sleep for the night and in exchange she will give you her only possession: 1 single rose. Now imagine how self-centered and cruel the person must be to take a look at that person, scoff in disgust at how ‘ugly and old’ they are “how dare you ruin my evening!” and slam the door to her face. And somehow a child did that. Cared so little that they didn’t even let her sleep in the stables, didn’t even offer a scrap of food or a blanket, not even a “sorry but I cannot”, he scoffed, mocked her and closed the door, dooming the old lady to die in the cold or be eaten by wolves. How can a child this young already be this rotten? If this is his behavior as a child, what would happen once he’s an adult? No, he still has time to change and so she sets the curse, a curse that can only be broken once someone who’s never known love or been unconditionally loved must learn now before its to late, he’d have plenty of time to learn and reflect but if by the time he’s an adult he’s still the same cruel boy, then so be it. “okay but the staff! They also had nothing to do with this and she still turned them into objects, curse them by no fault of their own!” Yet they let the child grow ever more vain and cruel, fear his step and bend to his demands, he was a prince after all and a bratty one at that, obviously he doesn’t need adult supervision or help or love or guidance or sOMETHING. In the 2017 remake I felt bad for those in the castle who ended up turned into objects, their only sin was being at the wrong place at the wrong time while in the 1991 (and this realization started coming to me in middle school) they were put to serve and look after this young prince and somehow they let him become so badly behave that a literal magical being had to step up to stop this brat from becoming a monster, they were merely acting as tools, furniture, accessories to the prince’s palace. They were so afraid of a child they dare not anger him and let his temper go as wild as he pleased, so the kid less as an 11year old and more as just some prince that payed for their wage. The kid viewed them as nothing more than objects for HIS domain since that’s all they were good for in his eyes. And what if that was just the spell? To look exactly as how prince/the palace perceives you? The prince saw nothing but objects that’d always serve him so they became ageless objects while the palace saw nothing but a future monster so he became a beast (honestly the idea that everyone just saw this kid as a monster is pretty fucking sad) And it would make sense right? It makes sense the enchantress not only saw the child as a problem but also the servants, so she would cast a spell to show them all, now their lives are at the princes’ heart’s mercy, now they really had to step up and discipline the child if they wished to be saved from an eternal life as tools under the eyes of a monster

[ember-not-amber]

Here’s some things to know about me & my interests!

- I’m a 20-year-old cishet girl, I have been in a LOT of fandoms or more accurately, I’ve been obsessed with a lot of things and I never stop loving those things even when I fall out of my phases again and again, I eventually have a relapse in my obsessions sometimes. I joined tumblr bc I’ve heard that it is a very accepting place for fandoms and I’ve been on my Instagram fanpage/s for years where I have dealt with a bunch of unwelcome hate in addition to my real life middle school experience that still haunts me to this day, and I’m looking to finally have a safe social space where I won’t get any of that and I can be my true self and fangirl as hard as I possibly can. I’ve also watched Strange Æons’ yt videos about tumblr and I’m very interested in everything that happened in the world and on the internet when I was little and not allowed to have a phone (I’m a 2004 baby).

- My favorite YouTubers are Cody Ko, Athena P, Not Even Emily, ColeyDoesThings, Nickisnotgreen, Daz Games, HTHAZE, Smosh & their other channels, Strange Æons, TheOdd1sOut, Aaron and Jo, Jaiden Animations, Alex’s Corner, Chad Chad, Danny Gonzalez, Drew Gooden, Kurtis Conner, Duncanyounot, Rebal D, YAP TV, and lots more. I used to watch Amy Lee33 when I was 10 or 11 and now her videos are just nostalgic for me, and I used to love the Minecraft YouTuber, Aphmau until a little bit after she started posting content targeted at kids. I really miss her role play videos :(

- My favorite shows (including my childhood shows) are TMNT 2012, Lego Ninjago, MLP, VeggieTales, Manifest, Lucifer, Once Upon A Time, The 100, Merlin, The Summer I Turned Pretty, Boy Meets World, The Amazing World of Gumball, Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir, Anne With An E, I guess I’m kinda invested in Riverdale, I haven’t seen every Friends episode but I’ve seen enough to ship Joey & Rachel, Martha Speaks, Dinosaur Train, Word Girl, Wild Kratts, Wonder Pets, Super Why, Jem and the Holograms, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Odd Squad, Horseland, and Olivia.

- My favorite music artists are Marcus & Martinus, Tiny Meat Gang, Taylor Swift, One Direction, Harry Styles, Ricky Montgomery, and more. To be clear, some of the artists I listen to are artists that I don’t know much about, I just like their music and I don’t have the energy to get to know who they are but I know a bunch about most of the artists that I listen to. I also love a lot of songs from artists that make royalty free music for Epidemic Pop like Loving Caliber, Lvly, and Tape Machines which is all thanks to Aphmau for using their songs in her YouTube videos.

-My favorite movies are Peter Pan (the 2003 live action movie) + many other Peter Pan movies, Mirror Mirror, Rise of the Guardians, Mune: Guardian of the Moon, the 1968 Romeo and Juliet movie, every old Barbie movie, Turning Red (that movie got me obsessed with 4⭐️Town and made me develop a crush on Robaire), and the Tinkerbell movies.

- My favorite ships are Jelsa (Jack Frost from ROTG and Elsa from Frozen) a very nostalgic ship for me that I got obsessed with when I was 10-12 and I’ve never stopped shipping it even though I’m not as obsessed as I used to be, the love square from Miraculous Ladybug, Laurmau from Aphmau’s Minecraft role play series, especially MCD, I used to ship Garmau in addition to shipping Laurmau but I think Garroth’s silliness in Mystreet kinda turned me off from the idea of him and Aphmau together so I just shipped Laurmau. I only ship Aarmau in the Mystreet series bc that’s the only series where it feels right for them to be canon (except for their age gap when they first met😬). Jess wrote Aarmau as the canon ship in almost every series she has created (besides the series that don’t have the characters Aphmau and Aaron in them) and I got really tired of it and wanted something new so I became a BIG Laurmau shipper. Travlyn and Zane~Chan from Aphmau’s series, I’ve shipped Peter Pan with Wendy in the original Disney movie and almost every adaptation of Peter Pan while also having a crush on him, Shirbert (Gilbert and Anne Shirley from Anne With An E), and Jerranne (Jerry & Anne from Anne With An E).

- I’m not really much of an anime person but I’m really enjoying Toradora at the moment

- My favorite WEBTOONS are (including ones that have been finished for a while) Eaternal Nocturnal, Siren’s Lament, Operation: True Love, Suitor Armor, Maybe Meant To Be, Forever After, Act Like You Love Me!, Adventures of God, Archie Comics: Big Ethel Energy, Succubus x Delinquent, Rewriting Our Love Story, The Kiss Bet, Green & Gold, Date First, Love Later, Go Away Romeo, Unlovable Replacement, Annie Green Hates Girls, Goth Boy & The Jock, Meme Girls, True Beauty, Jackson’s Diary, Internet Explorer, Lore Olympus, Honey Lemon, The Four of Them, Goth Girl & The Jock, Cursed Princess Club, Castle Swimmer, Romance 101, Swimming Lessons for a Mermaid, Mom, I’m Sorry, Sarah, I’m Sorry: Welcome To Our Galaxy, Spells From Hell, A Summer Night’s Dream, Everything is Fine, Stalker x Stalker, Mines & Monster Girls, Drawn To You, Phoenix Drop High, Opposite of Always, Love and Leashes, Before We Knew It, There’s Love Hidden In Lies, Jungle Juice, Let’s Play, Reunion, Age Matters, The Princess’s Jewels, Love Me Knot, The Wendybird, The Wrath & the Dawn, Unholy Blood, LUFF, My ID is Gangnam Beauty, #Killstagram, Crumbs, A Good Day to be a Dog, and Days of Hana