#I don’t like it she looks like two vastly different people honestly

[herspawn]

Y’all wanna see something slightly unhinged, of course you do ( I say as I’m turning off ivy’s vitiligo)

[spenceragnewfics]

f!reader losing virginity to spencer ? maybe as "just friends" to help her "get it out of the way" but they really like each other.

So...this was supposed to come out on Spencer's birthday but work and life got in the way...sorry.

WE’RE JUST FRIENDS? | Spencer Agnew x F!Reader | 18+ MINORS DNI

(also, yes the girl in the photo has a certain skin color but it's not indicative of the reader. I try to make these open to everyone as possible.)

TW: Smut, oral (f! receiving), fingering, cursing, two idiots in love

WORD COUNT: 2.4k

DESCRIPTION: You have told you're best friend Spencer everything...well except two things. You're in love with him and you're still a virgin. Two things you never plan to tell him...until you do.

She never understood why people couldn’t just be friends. Opposite genders can be friends and not have any romantic feelings. Is it kind of hypocritical coming from her…yeah, but not totally. 

You see, Y/N has feelings for her best friend since college but is purely platonic with all her other male friends; Chanse, Shayne, Tommy, Ian, Anthony, and all the other guys at Smosh. She knows the main reason she’s attracted to Spencer and has been for years, he’s himself. It’s hard to explain unless you know Spencer but what made her fall for him…is him.

It’s not like her feelings are so intense she couldn’t date anyone else, in fact, she’s dated a couple of guys but they haven’t lasted for vastly different reasons. One thing has been one of the constant reasons for the break up, you don’t want to sleep with them.

She doesn't know why, but she has yet to date anyone who has made her feel comfortable enough to lose her virginity to, not wanting to regret it later on. That’s something she hasn’t told anyone, not even Spencer because she doesn't know how to explain why she hasn't yet. It’s something she never thought she would tell him until one night of drinks, pizza, and gaming. A semi-regular night for the two of them, especially after a long shoot week.

It was barely midnight, the two of them had been hanging out for like four hours at this point just talking, eating, and trying to beat the other at Mario Kart or play duos on Fortnite.

The night had gotten away from them after an epic Battle Royale about an hour ago where they celebrated with an extra drink and chatting. Like everything, somehow they got onto the topic of dating, both of them being single for almost, or over in Spencer's case, a year. That then delved into talking about more intimate stuff, “Honestly, I’m so fucking happy that I lost my virginity in high school. I could not imagine still being a virgin now. Too much pressure.” He quips after he makes a joke about the movie 40-year-old Virgin.

Y/N looks at him confused and lowkey, panicking, “Why do you say that? I don’t think it’d be that bad.” She confesses, sipping more of her drink. “Dude, when you’re in high school or college it’s all just part of the experience. You barely have dated anyone so there isn’t much pressure. Now though, fuck dude!” He says, rubbing his face in frustration at the thought and she looks down.

“There would be so much pressure at this point. You’ve dated so many people and at this point, it’s probably just you being in your head.”

“Or you’re scared to give it away and regret it. Guys losing their virginity is a lot more different than girls. You have to remember that, Spence. A lot more at stake too.” She looks at him, trying to show a stoic face but Spencer isn’t buying it.

Y/N is always someone who tries to show both sides of the coin but is usually more silly about it. Now, she’s being very serious and trying to act stoic, like she’s hiding something. It’s not something he wouldn’t have noticed unless they had been friends this long.

“Hey, I didn’t mean to strike a nerve. I know you’re all about being things neutral but this seems like a bit more than usual. What’s up?” She looks at him confused, trying not to get embarrassed and say something she doesn’t want to. “Nothing, I just think that sometimes this whole thing is oversimplified.” He raises an eyebrow, “You’re acting like you’re still…” He trails off when she looks down and squeezes her eyes shut.

“Oh my god! Y/N! What the fuck! I thought you and-”

“We were but I changed my mind. Every time I thought about possibly losing it to him I felt nothing but dread. Same thing with the other guys. I don’t want to regret it.” She plays with her fingers, not wanting to look him in the eye.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” She looks at him shocked, “Why would I need to tell you? It’s personal but also how the hell do I bring that up?” She says before speaking in a silly voice, “Oh, Spencer, I gotta tell ya, buddy. I’m a virgin because I get major anxiety and overthink it to where I just haven’t done it.” She does a silly laugh that sounds a lot like Goofy.

“Okay, I get it. This is a sensitive topic, I’m sorry.” He apologizes, looking at her sadly and she feels her heart pinch. “It’s not that. I just…I want to. I want to so badly but I just get so anxious and overthink everything. Sometimes I think that it’d be easier to find someone to hook up with or just get an escort or something.” She looks at him, “Or someone I have been friends with forever basically and I trust more than anything.”

Spencer looks at her confused until she raises a brow and he gets the message, “Oh, you mean me? Really?” She nods, playing with her fingers again as she gets nervous. “Yeah, I mean. I know I wouldn’t regret it with you because you’re my best friend. I don’t think there is a guy I trust more than you.” She confesses, making his face light up.

“I would be honored. Holy shit, you won’t regret this. I promise.” He says, sounding like an excited young kid who just got picked first for baseball. She giggles at his silly antics before letting out a shocked yelp when he pulls her close. “So, are you more dominant or submissive or…” She shrugs her shoulders. Spencer shrugs his as well before putting his hand on her cheek, pulling her in gently before connecting their lips.

She puts her hand on his as her other moves into his hair. He sighs into the kiss as her nails scratch at his scalp, sending chills down his spine. Gently, he lays her down on the couch as his lips move to cheek then to her jaw, and landing lastly on her neck.

He feels his pants tighten as she lets out soft sighs from his lips on her sensitive neck. His tongue licks a long stripe along it before he sucks on her pulse point. Her hand pulls at his hair in response as she mutters out his name softly, the sound making him harder by the second.

Unknown to Y/N, Spencer was slowly coming to the realization of his own feelings for her. What he would always brush off as anxiety of her dating someone new and unknown to him has turned out to be jealously. Jealous that these random guys would take you out and not him. He finally has his chance to test the waters…well test a little more than the waters.

His lips continue to work on her neck but stop when she starts to giggle. “What, what’s so funny?” He asks, moving back a little and chuckling himself. “Your beard tickles a bit. I like it though.” She’s coy about her words, he smiles at her shyness before going back to kissing her neck as she giggles again.

This is nothing he’s felt before. The other girls he had dated and slept with were all serious about sex. They didn’t want or think that sex could be playful and fun but in this moment Spencer feels his heart soar. He’s pulled out of his trance as she tries to pull off his t-shirt, he helps her take the article of clothing off before slipping his hands under her shirt.

He holds back a moan just at the feeling of her lace bra, not even seeing it in person. She giggles before slipping the shirt over her head and swears his eyes are popping out of his head. “I knew you had awesome tits, but holy fuck!” He groans as he puts his face between them.

His warm breath fans over them, sending chills down her body before his warm tongue licks her lace-covered nipple. She bites her lip as he does the same to the other before pulling her bra down to expose the flesh fully.

A strangled moan falls from her lips when he wraps his around her right nipple. His thumb and forefinger play with her left, rolling and gently tugging it. She feels herself getting wetter with each tug as her hands tangle in his hair. He continues to stimulate her nipples for a while before moving down with open mouth kisses.

“Spence, you don’t have to-”

“I want you, now sit back relax and enjoy the show.” He jokes with his sassy smirk before kissing her plush thighs. She sighs comfortably at the feeling before laughing when he playfully bites her thigh. “Sorry, you just tasted too good not to have a bite.”

Her eyes stay on him as his beard tickles her thigh before he moves to be face-first with her pussy. His finger come up to spread her lips as she feels her cheeks heat up, not used to having someone see so much of her. Her thighs start to close but Spencer stops them before they can. “Don’t hide yourself. You’re beautiful.” He assures her as he licks a long strip up her slit.

The new feeling makes her eyes roll as she breathes shakily. He continues to give long licks before moving to suck on her clit. “Holy fuck!” She moans, her hands quickly finding a place in his hair as she relishes in the new feeling.

She had used vibrators and other toys but nothing had felt like this before. His tongue swirls around her clit a few times before sucking again. He moves a finger to her entrance, “I’m going to put a finger in. It might feel weird at first.” She nods, moving a hand down to his arm. She releases a breath at the uncomfortable feeling, her hand squeezes his arm.

“Are you okay?” He asks his finger fully inside. “Yeah, just feels… different.” She confesses as she starts to feel embarrassed. “It’ll feel better in a bit, just gotta get you warmed up a bit.” His finger thrusts in and out for a moment before he adds a second. She moans softly when adds a second and whimpers as they move. “Is it feeling better?” He asks, she responds with a sweet moan that makes his cheeks heat up.

His fingers continue going in and out, stretching her out slightly. His fingers graze the spongy spot inside her, “Oh my, do that again! Please.” She begs. The feeling made her see stars, who is Spencer not to please? His finger rubs the spongy spot as she starts to feel herself get close.

“Yes, yes, just like that-Fuck!” She screams when his lips wrap around her clit again. He licks and sucks intermittently while still playing with her G-spot as she screams his name. “Spencer! Fuck! I’m gonna cum!” She yells as the knot in her stomach snaps.

He licks and sucks her clean before sitting up. Pulling off his hoodie and pants. He aligns himself with her leaking hole, “This will probably hurt, but it’ll subside. I promise.” She nods as he slowly pushes in.

While the tight feeling makes him moan loudly, having been a while since he slept with anyone, Y/N bites her lip, the feeling being intruding and uncomfortable. Noticing her discomfort, he leans down and kisses her sweetly, trying to distract her as he continues to sink in.

Spencer is just a bit above average in length but more girthy than most. The stretch is something Y/N will come to love but for the first time, it’s a different feeling than anything she’s ever felt. Her face unconsciously skews in a bit of pain when he’s fully inside.

Leaning down, he locks their lips. His hips are still as he gives her time to adjust, the feeling of her wrapped around him is making it hard to keep still though. Her hands tangle in his hair once again and gently pull when she’s adjusted, giving them the okay to move.

His thrusts start out slow, letting her body adjust to the new sensations and the starting pain slowly melts away. He intertwines their fingers as he thrusts at the same pace. The gesture is small but is enough to make her feel safe and loved by the man on top of her.

It takes about a minute before Y/N starts to moan, “Faster, please Spencer.” She begs needing to feel more. It takes everything in him not to smirk as his hips pick up speed. “Oh god.” She moans, wrapping her legs around his waist to keep him close.

Spencer keeps a steady fast pace, his tip hitting her G-Spot as he moves his hips a little. The only sounds in the room are skin-on-skin, moans, and heavy breathing. The two are eye-locked, watching the other’s face and expressions.

“Shit, I’m close.” Y/N moans, feeling the familiar knot forming. “Me too, shit,” Spencer groans as his hand moves to rub her clit. “Fuck, Spencer!” She practically screams with the added sensation.

“Cum for me, Y/N. Please cum all over me.” He moans, his thrusts getting sporadic.  She screams his name as the knot bursts in her stomach and she cums on his dick. He groans as she clenches around him, making it hard for him to not cum inside her. He continues to thrust through her high before he starts to breathe very heavily.

“Where do you want me to cum?” He struggles to get out, feeling very close. “I don’t care.” She says, her voice very breathy. He pulls out and only strokes himself a few times before he cums on her chest.

Coming down from his high, the two look at each other and then laugh. “Oh my god, that was amazing. How the hell are you still single?” She jokes as he lays on top of her. “Just haven’t found the right one yet.” He says, his eyes looking at her softly as she runs a hand through his hair.

“Maybe you just haven’t been looking in the right places.” She smiles at him and he leans in, “Or maybe I just have been overlooking a certain someone.” he says before kissing her.

[starsinmylatte]

An Early-morning Surprise

What happens when the three first years find out that Nanami's wife has tattoos?

Pairing: Nanami x Wife!reader

Warnings: None! Just fluff and comfort with a side of domestic bliss (aka what we all deserve)

Word Count: 1k

This work can be read as a companion piece to my other Nanami x tattooed reader work: Baby, It's Cold Outside (18+ for smut)

Click here to join my taglist! (By joining my taglist and/or interacting with my 18+ posts, you agree that you are 18+)

Thunk… Thunk… Thunk….

The distant banging on your door ripped you from the arms of a well-deserved slumber. You blinked, stretching blearily and looking around as the noise showed no signs of letting up. Nanami was still fast asleep next to you, his golden hair splayed across the pillow as he snored gently. The moonlight shone on your husband’s peaceful, unburdened expression, and the sight brought an affectionate smile to your lips.

“He’s worked so hard recently… I don’t want whatever this is to wake him.”

It was honestly a minor miracle that Nanami’s arms weren’t wrapped around you like usual because you’d never have gotten out of bed without waking him. Gingerly, you slipped out of bed, trying to be quiet as you found a pair of house shoes and tiptoed into the living room. 

The culprits behind the early-morning wake-up call revealed themselves before you got to the door. Three vastly different voices could be heard bickering back and forth, and you couldn’t help but laugh slightly. Of course, it would be the three first-years both of the Kentos had a soft spot for. 

“For the last time, I don’t care who won rock, paper, scissors… I am not calling Gojo.” A familiar, absolutely disinterested voice grumbled. 

“Megumi, please? I can’t find my key, and I don’t want to keep banging on the door! It could wake even more people up.” Itadori wheedled.

“I’m not the one who needed to go to the convenience store at two in the morning-” 

“I don’t care who calls who or who all gets woken up. it’s COLD out here.” Nobara interrupted snarkily.

You raked your hair into a presentable shape and opened the door before any more verbal warfare could be waged. 

“Morning all,” You yawned, shivering at the cold breeze that blew through the doorway.

“I am SO sorry to wake you up,” Itadori immediately dropped to a knee and apologized, his hands clasped in front of his face in penance. “But we got locked out of the dorms….”

Megumi stood off to the side, blushing slightly with his arms folded over a convenience store bag. Nobara stood next to Yuji, shivering in an oversized hoodie that she had clearly taken from the more easily guilted boy. 

You smiled, opening the door wider, “Come in, then. I’ll get you some blankets, and you can sleep here. Nanami can take you back to the school in the morning.”

The three students all remained quiet and didn’t move a muscle, even as you held the door open for them. Instead, they all blinked at you rather owlishly. You looked at all three of them in slight confusion. 

Yuji opened his mouth twice before words finally tumbled out. “Uh, how long have you had-” WHAM.

Megumi smacked him upside the head, and the pink-haired boy pouted slightly, “Ow, what was that for?”

“It’s rude to ask!” Megumi hissed back quietly. 

Meanwhile, Nobara simply walked up to you and gently touched the ink on your arm. “Did they hurt?” She asked with a look of slight awe. 

You glanced down at her hand on your arm, and it finally clicked: you hadn’t bothered to put on a robe in your rush to answer the door. Your sleep attire consisted of pajama shorts and an old t-shirt selectively thieved from a certain stoic sorcerer, so your many tattoos were visible to the students for the first time.

You laughed out loud, breath steaming into the cool morning air. “Why don’t you all come in? I might answer a few of your questions if you don’t wake Nanami,” You teased gently.

The students obediently shuffled in, their curiosity beaten by their desire to be out of the cold, and you shut the door behind them with a solid click. You turned to head back into the living room and ran directly into Yuji, who was intently studying one of the tattoos on your arm.

“Woah there,” You giggled, placing a hand on his shoulder to keep the boy from falling into the wall. “Let’s at least get into the kitchen first.”

You put some water on to boil for tea and Yuji’s early-morning ramen while the students looked on with hushed curiosity. Soon, everyone was curled up on the oversized couch in the living room with plenty of blankets and a mug of something hot to thaw them out. 

After the thirtieth question from Itadori alone, you gave up on the plan of them getting any sleep and spent the remainder of the time bonding with the kids. Nobara seemed fascinated and approved of the designs, stating that “only the most badass women have tattoos.” Megumi didn’t ask many questions, but the stoic boy did seem impressed. As usual, sweet Itadori was curious and just happy to be involved. 

—

Later that morning, Nanami woke to an empty bed and a sense of vague confusion. To his knowledge, you didn’t have anything scheduled for the day, and he couldn’t hear you moving around in the kitchen. Your husband poked his head into the living room and chuckled quietly at the sight before him. 

His beloved wife sat on the couch, gently snoozing under a blanket and wholly sandwiched between two of his students. Nobara’s arms were wrapped around you like she was holding a big stuffed animal, and Itadori was snoring away contentedly with his head on your shoulder. Several tea mugs lay forgotten on the coffee table next to a half-eaten bowl of spicy ramen. The usually closed-off Megumi was passed out in the corner of the couch with a foot on Itadori and one of his divine dogs directly on top of him. Its tail wagged lazily, thumping against the boy’s back as the fluffy shikigami greeted Nanami.

The blond sorcerer smiled, taking a moment to commit the scene to memory. He pulled out his phone to snap a quick picture before anyone could move. A few minutes later, the inhabitants of the couch woke to the smell of frying bacon.

— Bonus —

Later that day, you borrowed Nanami’s phone to check something, only to see the photo as his newest home screen.

You scrunched your nose in protest, “Ken, I’m drooling in this picture.” 

He leaned over to fondly kiss the top of your head, “I happen to love this picture.”

Tagging some friends: @saradika @thefact0rygirl @babygirl-leon-kennedy @hereforthesunrise @ashotofspotchka @ironandglass @amyroswell @cassandrablacker @lady-valtieri @justanothersadperson93 @orangecreampuff @belle-smith07 @outspokenbrat @enchantedsylveon @khaleesihavilliard @spam-love @silverliningsandstorms

[icallhimjoey]

To Have And To Scold

♥ ♥  Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader

Summary: Your best friends are getting married, and who else can they ask to be their best man and maid of honour but you and Joe? It’s just that… you don’t really get along all that well, do you? At least, that’s what you think.

CW / disclaimer: sort of enemies to sort of lovers, slooow burn, language, rpf, fem!reader, smut, drinking

Author’s note: we made it girlies, it's time to get all the answers, but also time to say goodbye - it's been a JOURNEY and i apologise for how long this took me! Pls enjoy!

Wordcount: 6.7K

part one - part two - part three - part four - part five- part six- part seven - part eight - part nine - part ten - epilogue

"You know I want to say it..." Joe said after a short silence.

"I know," you were well aware.

"Please let me say-"

"No."

It had been a week. Just a week. Joe wasn't allowed to say those words to you. He let them slip that night, had just blurted them out at the wedding, and you hadn't been able to swallow the words. Instead, they got lodged in your windpipe and had made you want to throw up.

"Please don't." you instructed, eyes trained on Joe's hand.

You felt Joe's eyes on you as he took a deep breath, settling on the understanding that you didn't want to hear them yet. You'd been playing with his hand for a little bit as you were both on your sides, heads buried into pillows and you'd already told Joe to go to sleep three times because you knew what time his alarm would go off the next morning.

But how could Joe sleep with you on your side of his bed, slowly tracing the lines of his palm with your fingers?

"Did you really think I hated you?"

Joe's question flushed you with a gentle wave of emotions. The delicate vulnerability and the sense of elation were the direct effect good sex had on you, which left you feeling you both physically and emotionally exposed. You could sob from looking anyone in the eye for a second too long right now, so coming in hot with a question that you knew Joe needed an honest answer to, did exactly that.

It contorted your whole face a second, crumpled it up into an ugly cry, breath held as your throat tensed to keep the sob inside because, yes you did. And it had always bothered you.

You had thought about it all week, kept going over interactions you'd had with Joe over the years and tried to puzzle it all into the narrative of Joe having a crush on you.

But it was difficult.

It didn't matter how many people helped you, how much Poppy tried to convince you that she didn't know Joe like this, that it had to be real. How much Mark tried to drill into you that he remembered how Joe looked at you the first time Mark and Poppy had forced you two to hang out together.

And it didn't matter that on some level you did understand. Understanding it in your brain and feeling it in your body were two vastly different things, after all.

So you nodded, because yes, you had honestly thought that Joe didn't like you. That he didn't want you in his life.

With eyes squeezed shut and your face screwed up you turned onto your back, trying to escape Joe's direct gaze a second. You felt how his hand that had laid relaxed in between you gripped onto yours for comfort.

Tears welled up fast, but you knew how to handle them.

You forced your face to relax, forced your eyes to open, forced your ribcage to expand and inhaled deeply. You held it there for a few seconds before you exhaled through your mouth and... you were fine.

Deep breaths always helped.

Turning back to Joe with your face relaxed, your expression smooth, all void of emotion, you found him looking at you with worry-filled eyes.

"You do that," not a question, just a statement about something Joe had noticed.

"What?"

"You stop it." Joe remembered how, several times, he'd seen you cry, and every time, you'd been able to stop it just as quickly as it had started. Maybe not as fast when you were drunk, but... still. This was some very advanced repressing of emotions.

Unclasping your hand from Joe's, you placed his hand back where it had laid before, in between the two of you, palm up, ready to get back into drawing lines over it with your fingers because that was just as soothing to you as it was to him.

"You'd rather have me cry?"

If Joe was honest, he did. He wondered how long it would take for you to be able to lose the tough exterior around him. Fully lose the whole I Can Take Care Of Myself facade. He felt that you had shed some layers already, but those were layers he'd put there himself. Joe now had to filter through neutral territory before you'd be able to let him in any further. To trust he did actually like you.

"I have never hated you," Joe whispered, and moved to kiss your forehead.

"I know," you whispered back, fully focussed on Joe's hand again. Stroking. Tracing lines with delicate touch. Avoiding Joe's eye-contact, mostly.

"It's the opposite,"

"Joe," you warned, eyes shooting up a fraction of a second to meet his.

"I won't say it."

But Joe thought it. Felt the words in his bones, strengthening and weakening them at the same time. It was agony, but you'd told Joe it was only fair for him to say those words if it was in response to you saying them.

And it had only been a week.

A week.

A week since you'd made it downstairs and found the groomsmen, the bridesmaids, Poppy, and her dad, all ready and waiting for the ceremony to start. Mark was down by the altar, and the room was filled to the brim with people.

The groomsmen had been paired up with the bridesmaids to walk down the aisle; ladies on the left, men on the right. Which was funny, because that meant that you and Joe would have to cross paths at the end to go stand in your correct groups and you knew it'd get a soft chuckle from everyone there.

When you and Joe lined up at the end, in front of Poppy and her dad, she had been on your immediately. Tried to be subtle, but asked all sorts of questions. She very obviously tried to make the two of you confess you'd been hiding in a coat closet together, but you didn't budge. Kept straight faces. Told Poppy she looked beautiful in her dress. Smiled at her dad, who had no idea what was going on, but was polite and tried to calm his daughter. He even shushed her a little, which made you and Joe look each other as deftly as you could as you tried to hide smiles before it was your turn to walk down the aisle.

During the ceremony, your mind was swirling. Going a million miles an hour. You were stood behind Mark, who looked at Poppy, and behind Poppy was Joe. You had your eyes locked at the back of Mark's suit, able to see Joe in your peripheral vision just over his shoulder behind Poppy, and you were meant to follow the ceremony. Listen to the officiant's whole official shpiel. Listen to Mark and Poppy's heartfelt vows. But your mind was elsewhere.

Convinced that, in hindsight, you should have somehow known of Joe's crush, you were stumped to realise that you hadn't. Not even a little bit.

Poppy had said he'd been in love – like, actual love for 'fucking ages' and... bitch, where?

Mentally you were so far removed from what was happening around you that, when the officiant asked for the rings, you had to be pulled from your thoughts by a loud scrape of Mark's throat.

"Wha- rings! Rings. Yes. I've got the rings."

And Joe pressed his lips together, bit them into his mouth to hide a smile as you handed over the little red box.

Whilst you'd been staring at Mark's back, sort of frowning in thought, Joe had been eyeing you. He could see how your eyes were sort of glazed over, all out of focus, and he couldn't help but blame himself for you missing it. You were missing your best friend getting married to his best friend because you were all zoned out, and he predicted he was responsible for it. Sensed how being forced to stand still and in silence for a long time probably wasn't helping his situation.

It gave you time to go over what had just happened.

What you had just learnt.

And fuck. Joe was going to have to answer to a lot, probably.

When it was time to follow Poppy and Mark out, all the way down the aisle and out of the room with everyone stood up and clapping, Joe smiled and nodded at the people he walked past but said, "All right, ask away,"

And as you smiled and nodded at the people on your side of the aisle, you said, "Where do I even start?"

The fact that you were convinced Joe had never really liked you was probably the right place to start.

But you were at a wedding.

And you were in the bridal party.

This was hardly the place or the time for a serious conversation, to ask all the tough questions you had on your mind. Yet, it was the only thing on your mind. Couldn't think of anything else. It just kept wandering there, and it didn't really help that Joe was there the whole time, reminding you of all of it.

Things grew complicated in your head. Things tangled and twisted until you couldn't undo the knots.

You kind of wished you were back in that coat closet again. Where it was dark, and hot, and where no one else could see or hear you kiss, and touch, and pant into each other's mouths.

But you were at a wedding.

So. You found moments to steal.

A couple of seconds here and there to stand close enough to Joe for you to sneak out an accusation. Something Joe would have to answer for, and he'd have to be quick, because it couldn't look like you were actually talking, could it?

The day was about Poppy and Mark.

The newly weds.

You were the best man and the maid of honour. Still had jobs to do.

So you hid in plain sight. Got your questions out and had Joe answer them as fast as he could.

During cocktail hour, there were photographs taken outside in the courtyard. The whole bridal party got involved, both sets of parents too, and it was a lot of posing in various groups.

When you and Joe were stood off to the side, both looking at whoever was next to pose next to Mark and Poppy, you stole the moment.

"You don't like me..." you said, loud enough for just Joe to hear. You weren't even looking at each other, but Joe knew you were talking to him.

"I do like you... I had to make you think that I didn't,"

"Well," you inhaled sharply. "You're a fantastic actor."

Had it been anyone else saying that under any other circumstance, it was the best compliment Joe could wish for. But this, right now, coming from you? It stung.

"I couldn't have– there's so many reasons, all stupid, I assure you, but I couldn't– Poppy would, well, I thought Poppy would never have–"

Joe didn't get to finish his sentence. The photographer called you over, wanted you to pose with Mark and the other groomsmen and you didn't hesitate to walk away. Didn't let on you were listening to what Joe was saying.

The next moment you found was just before the bridal party was to enter the venue where everyone had just sat down for dinner.

"The framed photo you cropped me out of," you stated flatly, eyes up ahead.

"Folded photo," Joe corrected you, and you snapped your head to look at him, all bewildered, because what the fuck?

"I folded that. I wanted to frame the full thing, but I couldn't. You were off-limits. But you were there.... just, hidden, at the back of it,"

You were introduced, and had to snap out of it quickly. Faces open and joyful because you were at a wedding and tonight was going to be fun.

You found your seats and looked at each other when you saw the name cards placed next to each other. You'd seen the seating chart beforehand, and the two of you had not been sat together according to earlier made plans.

Poppy.

Fucking Poppy and her stupid meddling.

It gave Joe a chance to explain more as the newly weds entered, and applause thundered before they started their first dance. With the both of you turned in your seats to watch you best friends sway in each other's arms, Joe got to talk.

Joe explained how he couldn't have given himself a finger, because he would've gone and grabbed for the full hand.

Joe told you how it was all a thing of self-deprivation, and that Poppy had been right when she said Joe had had feelings for you for a while.

Joe was no longer hiding anything. He no longer cared about keeping secrets. All the initial thoughts, the first things that would pop into his brain, it all came spilling out. Quietly, and rambly, but it was all there for you to soak up.

The misplaced jokes. The walking you home. The silent message Mark had sent him with a single shake of his head. The chats he had with Poppy about her insecurities that always included you. The shirt and tie and dress shoes he wore in his own house. The shared gelato, "I was crossing a line there, scolded myself for days after," Joe said, and you didn't think that was true. That was the first time Joe'd been slightly normal. The first time you felt you'd had a normal chat, had both felt brave enough to apologise to each other, and hadn't been hindered by adverse winds.

The dance ended, people clapped and after a small welcome toast, everyone turned in their seats and the first dinner course was served.

Joe glanced at you from the corner of his eye and leant into you a little, indicating he was listening - waiting for your reaction to all of it.

"You're a weirdo," you said into your glass of wine right before taking a sip, and Joe smirked, because, yea, he really fucking was a weirdo.

For a while you fell in conversation with others at the table. The evening flowed from the first course to the main, after which Poppy's dad gave a toast. Cute words for the newly weds, honorary mentions of the female best man and the male maid of honour that got a laugh from the room, and then, you and Joe got to do your speeches.

Throughout Joe's speech, Poppy cried into the napkin that Mark dabbed at her face before she took it from him. Throughout yours, you could barely hold it together yourself and it made Mark get up to come and hug you. You finished the speech together as Mark held you and Poppy filmed you with her phone. Mark read along with an arm wrapped around you as you stuttered meaningful words into the microphone, both of you sniffling, crying messes.

You loved Mark.

And Mark had gotten married to the best girl.

When applause filled the room again, and every single female relative of Mark over the age of 45 had awed at the two of you, you rushed over to hug Poppy.

You loved Poppy too, almost just the same. So you told her, spoke it into her hair, and it made her hug you tighter. Poppy hummed, and you expected her to say it back. Instead, she softly said, "We heard you in that closet," which squeezed a laugh right out of you and you scrunched noses at each other as you pulled back.

"You've got to tell me everything," Poppy said.

For a second you thought of denying it all. Considered pretending that you had no idea what she was talking about. But she looked so excited, all giddy at the prospect of you and Joe in a coat closet together. All she really knew was that you and Joe had kissed a couple weeks ago, and that Joe had done something that had upset you - that was it, no more details, at least that you were aware of.

"You stole the fucking rings from me," you said, and it confirmed enough, making Poppy squeal as she dug her fingers into your arms.

"So you made up? Are you okay?"

"Definitely still angry,"

"My God, what did his stupi–"

"Pop," Mark interrupted, and you thought it was because she was interfering. Like it was Mark's way of helping you out, because this was hardly something you were going to get into right now. Maybe even ever. But when you both looked at Mark, he pointed behind you at Poppy's father, because it was time for the father-daughter dance and it wasn't time to get worked up over something Joe had done a couple weeks ago when you had kissed him. Obviously.

You took Poppy's seat and sat next to Mark as you watched Poppy dance with her father, and it was weirdly emotional. It made your throat swell and hurt, but you managed to keep it all in there.

"So, was Poppy right, then?" Mark suddenly asked.

You blinked at him a second.

"About you and Joe?"

Mark's face gave away nothing about his intent, so you figured he just wanted to know. No judgment.

"I had the rings, didn't I?" was all you said, a small smile playing on your face as your crossed leg swung under the table. A slow grin grew over Mark's face as he frowned.

"The fuck you not telling me shit for? How long as this been going on?"

All you managed was a huffed laugh as your eyes found Mark's mother coming up behind him, and you smacked his shoulder before saying, "Is there not a mother-son dance that you're meant to be a part of?"

You knew it hadn't been scheduled in.

But you also knew what Mark's mother was like.

Seconds later, Mark and his mum joined Poppy and her dad and you leant your head into both of your hands, elbows resting up on the table and across the floor, you saw Joe.

He was also watching his friends, head perched on his fist as he leant an arm on the back of his chair.

Joe's real pretty, you thought. Did he look different to you now that you knew?

Yea.

Kind of.

Wait. He really kind of did.

Looked less like a distant, arrogant prick, maybe. Or perhaps he looked the same, but it was you who was seeing him in a different light now.

Joe must have felt your eyes on him, because you saw him shift uncomfortably in his seat and look around before his eyes found you. Joe looked right back at you, held your gaze, and for a moment you both had your heads resting on your hands and just... stared. Just admired. Looked right at each other, across the full length of the dance floor.

You were waiting for a smile to break across his face, but it never came. You thought maybe your mind should've been swirling with thoughts, but, it was eerily quiet up there. Just... look at him.

That man was in love with you?

Wild, honestly.

A visual deep breath from you got Joe to nod his head up at you, a small little raise of his chin, his eyes two big questionmarks, and he meant, what's up? You all right?

All you could really do was shrug as you shook your head a little, a small defeated smile below pinched eyebrows, and you meant, what the fuck are we going to do?

The song ended, people clapped, and then more people joined in to dance.

You kept eyes on each other, both skilled at keeping them trained in the exact right spot, no matter how many people broke the line of contact with their dancing bodies.

That was, until Poppy and Mark slid into your vision - not quite enough to make you break eye-contact, but enough to lean over and look from you, over to Joe, back to you again with shit-eating grins upon their faces.

They'd seen you look at each other and needed you to know that they had seen.

Mark made a face at you that made you want to punch him too hard on that divot between his bicep and tricep, where you could hit him right on a nerve.

Poppy started beckoning the both of you, wide arms waving for the both of you to meet on the dance floor, but before you could even properly think of how to react, the cake cutting was announced.

And Mark and Poppy were little shits.

Made you and Joe stand next to them, each holding a small glass plate, beautiful crystal, ready for them to cut two pieces of cake that they would feed each other and then you'd be ready to collect whatever chunks would be left in their hands.

You remembered how Poppy had been adamant, "If you smear any cake anywhere I'm immediately divorcing you, that's so fucking tacky," and Mark had laughed and argued that he the thought of pushing cake into her face hadn't even crossed his mind.

And Mark loved Poppy, and she trusted him. So there was no hesitation as they fed each other bites from larger chunks of cake that they held in their hands. And you were so ready with your little plate. So ready to be a good best man to Mark, to help him out, had a napkin in the other hand for him to wipe his hand on too.

Cameras flashed, people got pictures and videos of Poppy and Mark feeding each other and thank fuck, it was a clean ordeal. Just two small bites. No mess. Fantastic. Exactly what Poppy wanted.

But Mark and Poppy were little shits and they got you fast.

You and Joe ended up with cake smeared all over. There were shrieks and there was loud laughter and more cameras flashed, and there was buttercream in your eye, and you inhaled vanilla frosting way up into your nose which hurt. Marks hands got cake all over your face, and when he stopped to loudly laugh at his work, through a squinty eye you saw how Poppy got Joe worse.

Joe had cake all over his face, up in his hair and even down his suit.

"Poppy, stop! This is Gucci!" Joe cried out and it made you want to roll your eyes at him. Of course it was Gucci.

The napkin you'd been holding was about to wipe at your face, but Mark stopped you and pulled you in for a group shot with the four of you; you and Joe pushed together into the center, Mark and Poppy either side. Mark squished your cheeks with his one dirty cake hand and Poppy used hers to push against the side of Joe's head. It knocked his head nearly into yours and with the flash of the camera, both Mark and Poppy stepped away. Disappeared from your sides fast. Probably scared you were going to get them back.

And, oh man, you absolutely were going to get them back.

Later, though.

When they'd least expect it. Maybe do something dumb to their house whilst they were away on their honeymoon - you'd think of something.

"We should get new friends," Joe commented, gesturing for you to turn. Universal sign for, come on, follow me, to make it over to the bathrooms to get cleaned up.

"What do you mean? These ones fed us cake!" You joked, trying to pick icing from you eyelashes as you walked and it made Joe halt and drop his face at you.

"She missed my mouth!" he said pointedly, and you laughed as you pushed the swing door to the toilets before stepping inside. You blamed the sudden sense of privacy as you were no longer under the watchful eye of your best friends for what you said next.

"Impressive, that's a difficult mouth to miss,"

Joe narrowed his eyes at you as he studied your face. Your posture. It made him twitch inside his trousers. Was this going to go where he thought it might go?

Then, in the low light of the swanky dark hotel bathroom you were in, you reached a hand over and wiped a thumb across Joe's cheek all the way to the corner of his mouth. It pulled at his lips as you flicked it, scooping up buttercream and bits of cake from his face in between your index finger and thumb that you then brought to your mouth.

Yes, Joe thought. This was absolutely going to go where he thought it might go, and looking at you sucking your digits clean made him audibly groan.

Joe dropped his head and had to focus on breathing.

Inhale. Hold. Exhale.

Deep breaths always helped.

Except, not really. Not this time, anyway. Why was the image of you covered in wedding cake making his dick hard?

Joe had to use a clean hand to adjust himself in his trousers. You saw.

"Yea? You want to finish what you started?" you smirked, eyes twinkling.

And Joe couldn't fucking believe what he was hearing. His eyebrows shot up, and he immediately tried to reason, "There's cake all over this Gucci suit," but he was already leaning in, fingers reaching for your mouth, his body fully betraying him, because how could it decline the invitation?

Joe's kisses tasted like wedding cake. Sickly sweet, vanilla and white chocolate, all sticky and... distant. Joe was leaning over as much as he could, kept his body as far away as possible whilst still making sure his mouth got want it wanted from you.

Joe was trying to stay clean and you weren't having it. It made you pull at him, and it made him lose his jacket.

It was gross, and you had to breathe through your mouth because there was cake up in your nose, but you kind of loved it and started pushing Joe back into a stall.

Joe let you, locking the door behind you before he continued, and you knew posh little clean pristine Joey probably had thoughts and opinions about getting dirty in the toilets of a hotel, swanky or not. But then Joe said, "This cake tastes good," when he licked some off your face and followed up with, "Best way to taste test," whilst you started gathering the fabric of your dress at the hips, slowly inching it upwards.

And like you had asked of him, Joe finished what he started in your kitchen a couple of weeks ago.

Got his big hands, those thick fingers, in all the places you wanted them. Got his mouth there too – he had to, couldn't stop himself. Got frosting all over your neck and all up between your thighs and it was the exact opposite of what you had come in there to do.

Joe had you whimpering and moaning when he eventually slid inside you, face to face this time, pressed up against the stall door, no more distance, and fuck, this was so much better.

You weren't exactly quiet, so he tried to stifle the noises escaping you by scooping frosting from your face into your mouth, which made you laugh, which in turn made him growl, "Oh my God, shit," because that felt fucking amazing.

You had to stop momentarily when you heard someone come in. Had to freeze on the spot, Joe deep inside you, big eyes looking at each other, and it felt a little like you were back in that coat closet. Too close to each other. Barely breathing. Hiding.

It just turned you on more.

Whoever had walked in muttered something about Joe's suit jacket that was on the floor, picked it up and then walked out with it. Presumably to go and find him. Was that Mark?

"Quick," you whispered, not wanting to get caught, and Joe said, "All right, yea, laugh again, come on," which wasn't a joke, but it still made you laugh.

Walking back into the wedding, wiped clean of all the wedding cake and with absolutely nothing running down your inner thighs, you realised you'd missed the bouquet toss. You didn't mind, but you knew you were probably going to get some shit from Poppy for it later.

To remain as unsuspicious as you could, Joe entered half a minute later but then immediately got you a drink, and came to stand beside you. You watched the dance floor for a second, both with drinks in hand, both not sure what to do or what to even say to each other.

What the fuck was your life right now?

Two sudden heavy hands landed on your shoulders, and it was Mark, startling you before he pulled you onto the dance floor with him. You were only just able to quickly pass your glass to Joe who swiftly took it from you before you disappeared into the crowd of dancing couples.

You expected Mark to mention it.

To at least say something about it.

But then he didn't, and you fucking loved him for it.

This is why you and Mark were the friends that you were. Anyone else would've said something, would've commented, joked, would have poked fun.

Not Mark.

Mark just wanted to dance with his best friend, his best man, at his wedding and you could tell he was well on his way to getting drunk because his eyes were half the size they usually were.

"I know I always say that you don't deserve Poppy, because she's too good for you,"

"She is," Mark agreed and smiled at you.

"No, I was wrong. I think you're the perfect fit. Exactly right for each other,"

You saw Mark look over your shoulder, and his eyes went all droopy and lovesick. You knew he had to be looking at Poppy.

His wife.

A quick check proved you right, and you saw Poppy dance with Joe and fuck. Why was Joe looking at her like that? All soft and sweet, like he was the one who had just married her instead of Mark?

In a flash you realised it. And...

Oh no.

Envy.

That was envy?! Shit. Had that been envy this whole fucking time?!

"What's up?" Mark asked, a little confused at what he'd just seen across your face.

"Nothing," you were quick, tried to hide all of it with a smile.

"What?" Mark persisted and you sighed, all deep and heavy, turning back to look at Joe who was still looking at Poppy like the sun shone out of her ass as they slowly swayed to the music together.

"No, it's... it's not– why does he look at her like that?"

Mark blinked at you.

"Sorry?"

"No, never mind, it's stupid, let's not–" you backtracked immediately.

"Oh my God," Mark exclaimed and then laughed loudly, head thrown back before he let it slump forward.

"I might as well have fucking married you today, what the actual fuck, you're– it is true! You and Poppy are literally the same person, it's so– this is so creepy!"

And yes, okay, it was a little creepy that, when Mark and Poppy had just started dating, Poppy apparently had asked Mark about why he would look at you like you were the reason he was even alive to begin with. Mark told you she would still sometimes bring it up when they argued, and Mark would always say, "I don't know! I love her! I can't help what my eyes do!" and Poppy would shout, "That's weird Mark, I am your girlfriend!"

It humbled you real fast.

It had never occurred to you what you and Mark looked like when you communicated with just looks. With eyes and subtle facial changes and this stupid spark of jealousy, which you now recognised was exactly what that was, made you want to go hug Poppy.

So that's what you did.

You took rushed steps and then pried yourself in between Joe and Poppy to hug her.

"My girls," you heard Mark say, but he was quick to correct himself and followed it up with, "Our girls."

Made you want to give him a black eye.

But then Poppy mused, "Our boys." and it kind of felt exactly right.

"My wife," Mark continued, using the offensive Borat accent, and Poppy replied, "My husband," in a Russian accent, the h pronounced as a hard g, because why not. Before you knew it they were making out all gross again, like they had down at the bar where you'd met after the hen do and stag do.

"Yeaaa, why not?" Joe said under his breath, nose all scrunched up.

"You said something about getting new friends?" you joked, and it made Mark find the side of your head to push you away. You laughed as you nearly lost your balance, and Joe laughed as he reached out both arms to make sure that you didn't.

"Come on, let's dance,"

And it was all fun and games getting Joe to make you come on his mouth in a toilet stall before he railed you, but you still had questions. Were still mad for him leaving you in your kitchen without explanation.

Learning that Joe had been having feelings for you just confused you more.

So you danced as you held onto each other because that's how everyone else was dancing, and you decided the moment was another one for you to steal.

"Why did you leave that night?"

Joe took in your question and slowly inhaled through flared nostrils.

"You just walked right out,"

It was the worst thing he could've ever done and he was an idiot, Joe agreed. Good, you thought. At least you were on the same page about it. Joe revealed how learning of how you and Mark had become friends had thrown him for a loop, because there he was, head over heels and finally getting to know you better. Spending more time with you. Granting himself normal human interactions that he hadn't been able to afford himself before you'd been given this job together. And then there you were, telling him how traumatic it had been that guys always seemed to want more from you.

More.

Like Joe wanted more.

Joe couldn't be one of those guys. Didn't want to add to your hurt. And you were also both drunk, and had been shouting at each other in a bar, and that wasn't how he had wanted any of that to go. But, he was still an idiot, and he should have never left.

You nodded and agreed.

"Yes, you are an idiot, and you should have never left... but that's also weirdly considerate,"

"Well, you have been calling me weird behind my back a lot, or so I've heard,"

Big sigh.

Mark and Poppy were not to be trusted.

"Listen…" you chose to ignore what Joe'd just accused you of. "I feel very tender about little teenage me. Fourteen-year-old me felt a lot, did everything with all of her feelings. Went through life feelings first, thoughts second. Out of everyone, out of everything, she makes me cry the most… but I’m not her. Not anymore. I’ve not been her in over a decade, I’m not– I'm not fragile like that anymore, I’m tough now!"

The way Joe had been looking at you as you talked was the same way he'd always look at Poppy... but, times twenty.

Head tilted to the side, eyes half-lidded, a slow smile pulling at his cheeks – and, all right, if this was the type of shit Joe had done his best to hide from you all this time, why he made sure to stay unapproachable and cold, you kind of understood.

"Okay," was all Joe said through a wide smile.

"Okay?"

"Yea. Okay."

So, it was okay.

And when Poppy and Mark passed you, she peeked over Joe's shoulder and asked you again, "Did he apologise? Are you all good now?" and by ways of answering her, you bit into Joe's shoulder. It meant, not entirely. Not yet. But I think we will be.

It made Joe chuckle and pull you close, taking your face into his hands and pressing slow kisses onto each one of your eyelids. It nearly made your knees buckle, and that's when he said it.

Blurted it right out.

Soft enough for only you to hear, but somehow still threateningly loud, because the words rung in your ears.

"I love you."

It hitched your breath immediately.

"No, that's too soon,"

"It's been years,"

Yea, for Joe, maybe. But it had only been, what, eight hours for you. You agreed then and there that if you were going to do this, you were going to do this slow.

Do things slow to get them right.

Like normal people would do.

And sure, normal people wouldn't have the same starting point the two of you had, but it was whatever. Joe could pretend. You told Joe to ignore how he'd just eaten you out whilst you were both covered in cake and got him all flustered as he shushed you, afraid people would hear.

You said Joe could think crazy things. Things like I love you and that, but he couldn't actually say it. Not out loud anyway. Not for you to hear. You didn't care what he told Poppy about you. That was none of your business.

Yes.

You were going to do this sensibly, astutely and normally.

But, then, you weren't really normal people, were you?

Because all throughout that first week, in just those seven days, there had been moments where you'd thought those words too.

When you'd been on your way out on Tuesday morning after staying the night, and had to walk past Joe who was putting that picture of him and Poppy back up in his hallway, except now a new larger frame held the unfolded version that had you and Mark in as well.

And then again when you'd come over on Thursday for dinner, and Joe opened the door in blue jeans, bare feet and a white T-shirt that had a hole just below the collar.

A hole.

You thought you'd never see the day.

And then a couple of hours ago, when you'd been over at Mark and Poppy's for drinks, and they'd pulled out a game to play. It was you and Mark against Poppy and Joe, and whereas Mark and Poppy got ruthlessly competitive, you noticed Joe was doing everything in his power to sabotage the game, making you win.

It's just that you'd decided you weren't just going to blurt it out willy nilly, all haphazardly. Especially not after Joe got you all comfortable in his bed, massaged your shoulders, your back, your legs and then your ass before he'd undressed you fully and made you feel like you were the most important thing in his life right now.

No.

You were keeping those words in for a stupid moment.

Like when you'd catch him digging dirt from under his fingernails whilst trying to be all sly about it.

Or when he'd pretend he didn't mind that you left his kitchen all dirty, but then casually went to clean the entire room straight away.

Or when he'd wake up in a panic when he slept through an alarm, knowing that if you'd say it then, it'd only make him later to whatever he was already late for.

You didn't know. But you'd think of something.

And you were lucky, because there was something grounding, something very secure about knowing that the person who you would say it to wouldn't hesitate to say it back. Would probably repeat it a thousand times then if he could. Kiss you on your eyelids again to make you swoon.

Joe fell asleep that night with you on your side of his bed and you played with his hand until you heard soft snores beside you. What had been so weird before had grown to be just right in the span of just a few days.

And it was all right.

Because Joe was in love with you, and you were in love with Joe.

And that was all that mattered.

the end

---

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(taglist currently full, sorry)

[thisnameisnotspokenfor]

Super rough snippet

Yeah I'm weak...

“Asha,” came a familiar voice as she felt her heart stop.

“Miss Isla?” she whispered, spotting the now smiling old woman. 

“Hello dear,” she held out her arms for an embrace as Asha stepped forward, and hugged her in return. “I bet you weren’t expecting to see me here, weren’t you?”

“Admittedly no, but I am happy to see you again!”

“And I, you, how have you been these past few days?”

“Well,” Asha smiled. “I think I’ve been getting on handle on some things.”

“You’ve still been thinking about what we discussed, have you?” she asked.

“Yes ma’am, I have.”

“Good, now has anything changed? The coin is usually supposed to start working now-,”

“Ah! Speaking of the coin, there is someone who I do want you to meet-,” Asha smiled as she motioned for the star to join them.

“Oh?” Miss Isla’s eyes widened in amazement as the star neared.“And who is this fine young man?”

“My name is Cepheus ma’am and it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

 From the corner of her eyes, Asha could see Mr. Bjorn, Silver, and several others smiling as they looked on much to her dismay. 

Why were they being so nosy, it wasn’t like- "Wait, don’t tell me-,” she was practically shaking with excitement as she clapped her hands. “Oh, Asha! Why didn’t you come back to visit me sooner if you had him with you?! Oh, this is wonderful! Wonderful” 

“Not to me it is,” her grandfather grumbled.

“Where are you from? How old are you?” her questions came in rapid succession as she circled the star, examining him with a swiftness that Asha would’ve thought had been impossible for her age. “When are you getting married? I know an excellent wedding planner-,”

“Wedding planner?!” Asha and Cepheus shrieked in unison.

“Oh no we’re not-

“We’re actually just friends-”

“I would never marry her-,”

“He’s just not my type-,”

“I don’t like her like that, thanks-” the star paused as he glanced at Asha. “What?”

“Here we go again,” Her grandfather sighed as he angrily closed his eyes.

“Poor lad,” Silver sympathetically shook his head as he sipped his ale. “He better sleep with one eye open tonight.”

“Protect your neck, son, protect your neck,” Mr. Bjorn teased as Silver’s crew chuckled.

“You’re not together?!” Miss Isla cried, briefly looking heartbroken before she firmly shook her head. “Even after I gave you the coin?!”

“Yeah, we’re just friends,” Asha chuckled. “I don’t think coins can make two vastly different people fall in love that quickly-,”

“You gave Asha her coin?” Cepheus interrupted, looking shocked as Miss Isla nodded. “And you’re sure that coin was supposed to make her fall in love?” He laughed, as he eyed her carefully. “That coin?”

“Positive! Well, at least I think so…it’s honestly been a while…”

“If you don’t mind me asking, where did you get that coin from ma’am?”

“It was a childhood token,” she answered. "it was given to me a while ago…I can't remember where or why I got it, but I’m sure if you’re curious about the coin you could always ask Asha about it later, now then, tell me a bit about yourself! Don’t think you’re sneaky, you have yet to answer my questions!”

“Your questions?”

“Yes, I asked where you came from and how old you are-,”

“I’m about…eighteen, I think.”

“You think?” 

“Yes, and I come from a faraway country,” the star replied with such easy smoothness that if Asha had to assign him a permanent position of sorts, it would probably be a permanent deflector/diffusor. Probably.

“I could tell by your accent,” Miss Isla noted. “This isn’t your native tongue isn’t it?”

“No ma’am,”

“Yet you speak it very well.”

“Thank you ma’am,” the star humbly nodded.

“But come to think of it you look …oddly familiar,”

“I do?” Cepheus’s smile faltered. 

“Yes…come to think of it, I can almost remember seeing you elsewhere…” she rubbed her chin thoughtfully before squinting at the star. “Have we perhaps met before?”

“Not that I can recall,” Cepheus smiled and stepped backward. “This is my first time in Rosas…”

“First time?” Miss Isla hummed thoughtfully as she’d eyed her grandfather who’d nodded. “Fascinating! How have you been enjoying your stay here in Rosas?”

“It’s been wonderful! Everyone is just so friendly and lively and very ambitious!”

“Ambitious huh,” Miss Ilsa murmured as she adjusted her shawl. “Well, I suppose it does make sense given how there is an upcoming wish ceremony…with any luck the king could be granting the wish of anyone here!”

“Oh I doubt that,” Her Saba called, as he waved his hnd dismissively. “Word on the street is that the west has been paying very nicely for the king to answer a western wish or two.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if he does,” Miss Isla interjected. “The others have been talking rather confidently this year. It’s why they increased their spending on the royal fair. They seem to think they can get one of the members of the royal family to go this year.”

“Ha!” her grandfather snorted. “I wish I could have whatever drink gave them that confidence!”

“Careful what you wish for, Sabino,”

[bullet-and-brain]

here’s a rant abt dan heng’s rating pistol results and why they’re weird (bc they are. there’s no doubt that most of the numbers are pop culture/history/etc., but that’s not to say that they don’t have any significance). so if you’re interested uhh look under the cut (i hope i did that right)

there are currently six playable characters who, upon interacting with the rating pistol, are deemed ‘invalid’:

• acheron

• jing yuan

• feixiao

• luocha

• march

• sampo

it’s a pretty widely-accepted theory that these six characters are emanators, seeing as each one is either outright confirmed (acheron) or hinted at in some way, largely through innate connections with their respective paths.

seeing as herta, another confirmed emanator, isn’t on the list, it would seem as though this theory is false, right?

no!!!!! ! i’ve seen people claim that the pistol wouldn’t be able to give her playable form an accurate rating, due to the puppet body she occupies- it would make sense for the number to be misleading, because her true soul is, arguably, not present within the puppet, especially considering how many clones there are.

i don’t doubt this honestly. dan heng’s 5* form prompts a revelation from the pistol that it didn’t detect from his human form- albeit with the same number, but herta’s case is vastly different, as outlined above.

his 4* form is given 88 points (with a question mark at the end, though i truly don’t remember it being there during those first few patches..). this description is written in the standard format that’s used for most of the playable cast.

when you interact with the curio as imbibitor lunae, you get the exact same number- 88? - however, he is one of the few characters who has unique dialogue following the initial rating. here’s his:

The Rating Pistol gazed at Dan Heng: “88 points?” Feeling puzzled, it moved its eyeballs around and suddenly shut its eyes. It seemed to be sulking for being fooled.

> quickly note that the only other character whose rating is followed with ‘?’ is huohuo (& tail):

The Rating Pistol gazed at Huohuo: “0 points? 5 points?” It sized Huohuo up for a while before it looked away into the distance with a hopeless expression.

> it’s possible that the question marks are due to the uncertainty of there being two people to rate at once, but i doubt it- clara & svarog don’t have the question mark, nor does the pistol look hopeless lol

so, basically:

- the pistol is unsure of how huohuo should be rated for some reason, hence the question mark, and eventually gives up

- the pistol is also initially unsure of how to rate dhil, hence the question mark again. HOWEVER, instead of becoming hopeless, its eyeball moves around and suddenly shuts, and we’re told that it appears to be sulking due to being fooled. to me, this implies a realization that occurred after the 88 points were given, but before it closed its eye, presumably to pout.

that being said, i’d like to point out the similarities that dhil’s prompted dialogue has w/ the ‘invalid’ dialogue, as far-fetched as it may be:

“Rating invalid!” Its eyeball swivels around three times before suddenly widening. After a brief impasse, its eye shuts, wearily.

these are the only times that the pistol is said to move its eyeball and to shut its eye. which could very well mean absolutely nothing, but that + the fact that he is very unique in the origin of his powers (even among his own race, which descended from an aeon) makes me think it could be slightly important . even if unintentional, the hazy parallel to emanators is cool to me, considering that we don’t have a clear answer regarding the extent of his powers lorewise, either.

a lot of this is copium from a total drought of permanence lore ajajdh

anyways. even if this is totally dumb i needed to put it somewhere so i don’t go insane

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

I just read a bunch of Owl House Criticism and have to say… a lot does make sense. I still rate the show very high and honestly I blame the pacing for a lot of the issues we DO have with the show. I also think people are taking this way more seriously then they should and some do the complaints feel nitpicky.

One thing a lot of people brought up is Luz’s character and how the first episode showed her casual dismissal of others and their safety occurs. Then there was a few comments on how Vee is right to call her out on running away and other things.

I don’t fully disagree. Luz fucked up big time her first episode where she brought live animals and fireworks to school. It’s just… no. I don’t deny people should have punished her for it. I vote that the Shakespeare play and the cheerleading thing aren’t worth punishment though. Because both are honestly just quirky kid things. She wanted to be cool so she did something she liked to try and impress others. They thought it was creepy and reacted to it. Good reasons for her to be kind of shoved aside by some people. The spiders and snakes though? Yikes.

But to just call her a bad character puts a nasty taste in my mouth because I think she is one that is a good character and whom I think would have been fun to explore. It’s just… she’s kind of a concept that was tried but fell flat.

I think the summer camp thing was handled badly and I would have liked to be explained why they never tried to talk to her about what a reasonable amount of creativity is in her school work. If it turns out they had attempted to do so multiple times but she never listened: the camp is probably a better idea then not. More so given her actions could have gotten her arrested. Honeslty leaning on that idea would have been interesting. Luz being told she had to go to camp or face probation or something would have been an interesting hook.

My friend said she felt therapy would have been better and yeah that’s a good point: but what if they did try and it didn’t work? What if they felt a camp was less expensive ? (Which it probably was.)

I would have liked more evidence that Luz was an outcast. I saw a lot of criticism on this because if you just look at the show face value: Luz does seem like she’s whining about a lot of stuff. Her mom turned out to be like her and only wanted her to not get bullied as Camila did in school. She could have made friends at camp. There’s just so much there that does make Luz seem like a bad person for being upset. And honestly it would be interesting to explore that to, to really pick apart the dramatic ‘me against the world’ mindset of teenagers who see themselves as outcasts. But the show is supposed to be about weirdos and found family.

So: I would actually nix Camila being a nerd. Manny was the nerdy one who loved fantasy, encouraging it in Luz. I would have had him be the one who was more open about Luz’s everything while Camila was more wary and put off. Sure, she could still laugh at the snake skin incident, but I would want her to be less accepting of the other stuff. I said that the first episode reminded me of my mom when I got my diagnosis of autism and she didn’t understand it. I would want to lean in.

Manny and Luz should have been canonly neurodivergent. Camila is neurotypical and she constantly compared her two family members because Manny could mask very well. Luz couldn’t. But I would have Camila struggle to understand that her daughter’s own brand of autism/ADHD is vastly different then her husband’s because it’s so common. I can’t tell you how many time people are like: oh you’re lying about being this cause you don’t act like BLANK.

Camila and Luz then have a conflict which makes it more understandable why Luz is willing to lie to her mother about not being at camp. Because Camila is set up to not understand Luz and possibly she would be pushing her daughter to act ‘normal’ because she doesn’t understand. Again this is inspired by my mom. I have vivid memories of her worrying about appearances and how others think of us, with her pushing me towards things I didn’t like. Some of it was out of concern for me, but there was a huge lack of understanding that drove a wedge between us for a while.

I would then have the idea that Luz is bullied be obvious. Luz would reference it or recall incidents. And I would have them be unpleasent. Being ditched by so called ‘friends’, name calling and mocking. Maybe having her things stolen or random crap dumped in her locker. I would have her be the outcast from the start. I would also address her being a POC person in a small town. Luz could have met Masha or the other two kids: I want a reason why she didn’t connect.

I grew up with almost no friends but people generally didn’t hate me. I got bullied a bit but most of the time I was ignored and happy about it. When I was a kid I was very particular and drove people off due to this. When I made friends I was with other weirdos: some of whom were alone because they were just… I can only call them very weird and slightly disturbing. One of whom was a girl who’d flip on a dime if she liked you or not.

Masha in canon is goth and is there to be the ‘cool goth kid’. I would have had them be dismissive of Liz’s fondness for the Azura series and possibly the type to mock her for liking a ‘gushy girly book’ because take it from this enby: a lot of us go through the phase of shunning anything feminine and romantic to be ‘cool’. I would have a reason why two people who could have totally been friends weren’t.

Luz would be an outcast among outcasts. Just that shade of different.

I want her to have suffered in school. I want her to have to explain that it’s true no one understood her. I want her to be able to look Vee in the face to go: you know nothing. Because Vee only sees a surface and not the full sum of it. Vee who isn’t into Azura and thus gets Masha being: oh you matured cool. I want to hang now. Who goes to Camila who is thankful her baby seems able to mask now.

I want Camila to be able to mistake Vee for her own kid because ‘oh god yes she’s finally normal’. And I want Luz to point this out. I want Luz to point out to Vee the other kids said camp was prison. And that ‘you might have liked it for some reason but can you say I would have? Masha thinks I’m a freak for liking Azura. They told me I was a loser for it.’

I want there to have been a damn good reason more then we got for WHY Luz stayed in the isles.

Not to say I don’t want Luz to feel bad about lying or anything. I just want the whole outcast thing to be more apparent. Luz feeling awful about lying and about resenting her mom who does love her versus the fact she never felt safe in the human realm is an idea worth exploring!!

[zwy01]

Blood Moon AU!! Part 1 - Nobles

Time for a second major AU yayy!! I’m still working on Millennium AU as usual, though I want to get started on another one that’s been on my mind since years ago but never really got the chance to put on paper.

So here we are. I’m calling this Blood Moon AU. The nobles and werewolves basically have a race swap in an almost brand new setting. Lukedonia and werewolf island still exist; it’s the characters that have changed.

All characters reference their canon counterparts to various degrees. Some are similar or even near identical to the original, while some are vastly different. This could apply to names, looks, personalities, heritage/family, moral alignment… etc. It’s gonna be fun! I’m going to let myself get crazy with this and change things up quite a bit, haha.

As for the story. To be completely honest, at this point I just want to start off this new AU as more of a simple artistic approach. Right now I’m much more interested in designing and drawing the characters rather than writing the story itself. Maybe I’ll come up with something much later but it won’t be nearly as complicated as Millennium AU, and it’ll be fairly straightforward. Even then, I don’t want to rush it so that’s for the future. If I end up liking this new AU more than I do right now, maybe I’ll give the story an honest shot and turn it into more of a long-term project, but time will tell.

(Fyi “Noblesse” does not exist in the world. Too early for details but they either never existed, are a now permanently extinct special type of noble, or they simply peaced out and ditched Earth and returned to their special heavenly realm… etc. Honestly doesn’t matter. In this AU’s setting, they are absent. “Raizel” and his brother do exist but they’re both human. Actual normal human beings, with a normal life, currently students at a normal high school, stuff like that. Just your average human. The trio are also unmodified normal human beings. They are scattered across the world and never meet each other. Basically, unlike their canon counterparts, their existence is minimal and contribute to almost nothing in this universe. It’s weird, I know! That’s just how this AU is set up)

I’m going to split the noble and werewolf characters into two parts. Doing the (originally werewolves) nobles first! Posting the werewolves in a future post aka. part 2.

The characters!

Lucretia Natalina “Lunark” Drosia: Leader of the Drosia Clan. Kendrick’s twin, and on-and-off lovers with Julius. A rather carefree woman who is primarily interested in having fun, and shows little to no concern for the future of Lukedonia as a whole. When it comes to her people, she is a decent Clan Leader and manages her family efficiently. Lucretia’s efforts only apply to her clan, and her interests in other noble affairs are almost nonexistent. She has a habit of ditching meetings and whatnots. Sometimes, she even tries to ignore the Lord’s summons but ends up going anyway because her lovely daughter makes her show up. The only thing that can get Lucretia’s blood pumping with true passion is an offer to spar. Lucretia is an excellent fighter. People have to be very careful to not interrupt her fights unless they want to unleash her wrath, because she hates it when people invite themselves into her business. She also likes to flirt with her opponents during spars. Lucretia has a bit of a weird relationship with Julius, who is the father of her daughter. They seem to have positive feelings for each other, but that’s only when both of them are very bored and have nothing better to do.

Kendrick Tian-Chen “Kentas” Ru: Leader of the Ru Clan. Lucretia’s twin. A prideful, stubborn man who believes that the stronger should rule the weak. Like his sister Lucretia, he likes to fight and enjoys a good spar. Sometimes, people can choose to settle a quarrel with Kendrick by offering to spar with him and he would gladly accept. You can trust him, because he’s a man of his word. No more grudges, no hurt feelings. Done. In a way, he’s quite simple. Unlike his sister, Kendrick does care about the future of Lukedonia. He has a strong moral code of his own, but that can be overridden by his belief of submitting to the strong. That is why Kendrick is extremely loyal to their Lord and never questions him even if the latter makes some controversial decisions. As of now, Kendrick has no children.

Marcus Duruvan “Maduke” Siriana: Leader of the Siriana Clan. Erica’s older brother, and the Lord’s advisor. The only person who truly has everyone’s best interests at heart. You can say he’s the most “good person” leaning guy in this entire AU. Marcus is quite worried about the future under their Lord’s reign. Life is pretty comfortable inside Lukedonia, which is by itself very isolated from the rest of the world. However, Marcus foresees the destruction of planet earth if no one stops the Lord, since the latter doesn’t care about other races and is only concerned with the prosperity of nobles. Though, he doesn’t want to overthrow the Lord and instead wants to convince him to step away from his current path of darkness. He believes there is still hope. Simultaneously, Marcus is secretly gathering followers and supporters who all share his beliefs and formed his own organization. Together they work to transport resources out of Lukedonia and deliver them to humans and werewolves in need because the Lord refuses the share.

Marcus is struggling to plan for the future of the Siriana Clan, in case the Lord gets tired of him and decides to kill him one day for “meddling” too much, because his younger sister Erica is insane and cruel which makes her the worst possible candidate for the next Clan Leader of Siriana. Marcus loves her, but also fears her. He doesn’t know what she is capable of. Marcus is trying to look for ways to bypass his sister and hopefully be able to hand over both his position and Soul Weapon to another pure-blooded Siriana who isn’t his sister.

Marcus had a son, but he was assassinated sometime after his coming-of-age ceremony and now Marcus is once again childless and without an heir. To this day no one can figure out who the culprit is.

Erica Siriana: Marcus’ younger sister, and next-in-line for the position of Siriana Clan Leader. Wife of Lord Maximilian, and mother of Ashlynn. Erica is a ruthless, bloodthirsty woman. She is actually the person who orchestrated her nephew’s assassination. She made sure he was killed, then got rid of his killers, whom she sent, with her own hands. No one is going to suspect a thing and they’ll never find out no matter how hard they try. Erica did this to eliminate brother Marcus’ heir so she can regain her position as first-in-line. She’s been after her nephew ever since he was born, but waited for two whole centuries before doing the deed. To Erica, she’s just getting back what she’s entitled to, which is the full power, control, and privileges of a Clan Leader. Marcus is trying to be discreet but if Erica ever finds out that her brother intends to bypass her and give his position and Soul Weapon to someone else, she might actually just kill him and take over the clan immediately. Erica is truly a terrifying, power-hungry woman who will do anything to reach her goals. She does not care for anyone aside from her daughter Ashlynn and husband Maximilian, whom she genuinely loves. As messed up as Erica is, she is capable of being very loving and committed to whom she treasures. She and her husband are absolutely addicted to each other and he would let her do anything her heart wishes for, even if she continuously breaks Lukedonian laws.

Vivienne Branwen Di Ashlynn: Name means “lively and blessed raven of dreams”. Daughter of Erica Siriana and Lord Maximilian, and the next Lord of Lukedonia. On the surface, Ashlynn isn’t as straightforward as her mother despite their similarities. Ashlynn is just as ruthless and bloodthirsty as Erica, but the former puts on a facade in front of her people and pretends to be a sweet, altruistic future Lord. The perfect angel princess. And she’s very successful at it. Ashlynn is energetic, talkative, and empathetic around her subjects. She always tells them about how she wants her father to teach her power so she can protect not only her subjects, but also people around the world so they don’t have to suffer from hunger and war. In reality, she doesn’t care about any of them and she honestly thinks of them as a burden. They’re nothing more than cockroaches to her, and she’s only doing this because she enjoys deceiving her people and pulling on their puppet strings. She welcomes the love and respect they give her, and at the same time pities them for not knowing better, for she’s had them fooled this entire time. The world is her stage, and she’s the center. Ashlynn only drops her act and returns to her true self around her parents, who not only tolerate, but also accept and even encourage their daughter’s behavior. Well, their entire family is insane. Erica and Maximilian are totally overindulging Ashlynn while being completely aware of the fact that she is just as insane as them with no attempt to correct her, because she’s their little princess and hey, if she wants the world, then they’ll give it to her. Like Erica, Ashlynn doesn’t care about anyone who isn’t her family. Ashlynn loves both of her parents to the moon and back, and she might as well kill anyone who dares to speak ill about either of them. No one is allowed to disrespect them in front of her. Not a single word.

Ashlynn has a crush on Dominic and wants him for herself one day.

Eutimio Friedrich Di Maximilian: Name means “good-spirited and peaceful ruler of the greatest”. The current Lord, husband of Erica Siriana, and father of Ashlynn. Maximilian firmly believes that nobles are the most supreme beings to exist on this planet, and that they have a right to rule over every other species. Humans, werewolves, whatever… well, for now he’ll let them be for as long as they’re still useful. He won’t hesitate to unleash his power on them if he loses his patience. From a world view, Maximilian would be categorized as “evil”, but he doesn’t think of himself as such. In fact, he believes that he is doing good for his people, who are his priority. Which is true from a certain perspective, especially to the nobles who share their Lord’s vision. To them, Lord Maximilian is the greatest Lord in all of noble history. To others who strongly disagree with him, he is the most terrifying and coldblooded Lord in existence. Maximilian is only concerned with the prosperity of Lukedonia and doesn’t quite welcome the idea of distributing resources with the rest of the world. He doesn’t want the nobles to simply exist alongside other species; he’ll make sure the nobles are on the very top of the food chain. Everyone else is irrelevant and they’re all at his mercy. Generally, opinions are very divided and you either side with him, or you don’t. Life is very, very comfortable inside Lukedonia, and indeed, to some nobles, that is all they care about. Those with more empathy see beyond the obvious and are concerned with what goes on outside Lukedonia. The thing with Maximilian is that despite showing neither mercy nor any sign of remorse for his deeds in the outside world, he is actually quite lenient and loving with his subjects. You can say he has two extreme sides to him. He’s very kind to his nobles, but only them. He doesn’t mind if Lucretia skips meetings; he’d let her be. Or when his servants make mistakes, when someone does something offensive, etc... it’s alright, no big deal. In a way, Maximilian’s Lukedonia is teeming with freedom like never before under the rule of his predecessors. This is where Marcus comes in. He is just nervous and overthinking about getting killed if he says the wrong thing, but in reality Maximilian doesn’t mind voices of objection. He’s not going to give anyone a treason sentence or kill them for saying what they really think of him. You can tell him you disagree with him, he’ll just shrug it off and laugh. Say all you want, he knows you’re trying to persuade him, he doesn’t care. He’ll just keep doing what he’s always been doing. Maximilian knows he’s the Lord, and ultimately it is his decision to make. Just don’t let Ashlynn know, because she’ll come after your head if she figures out that you had doubts about her precious Daddy.

Maximilian is a very loving husband and father to his family. He is obsessed with them just as much as they are obsessed with him. On a personal level, while Maximilian himself doesn’t crave for the blood of his own kind like his wife and daughter do, he doesn’t mind letting them do whatever they want for the funs and thrills. Erica and Ashlynn are free to break the law all they want. Though, they’re smart and strategic with it and don’t commit murder in broad daylight. Still, Maximilian is aware of his beloveds’ occasional killings, and he lets them be. He’s the type of person who would let them burn down the entirety of Lukedonia to nothing more than a pile of ash if that is what they wish to do. It’s no big deal, he’ll just rebuild Lukedonia to be even grander and more luxurious than before! To Maximilian, they are the only two existences in this world to come before Lukedonia. How sweet.

Zivon Tradio: Leader of the Tradio Clan. An elderly sorcerer who is quite the hard worker, and spends most of his time studying existing spells as well as coming up with new ones. He’s from the previous generation of nobles, and he stayed behind because he’s just too damn cool to die. Just kidding, his love for magic is why he’s still rocking it. It’s still too early! Zivon’s ultimate goal is to push the boundaries of noble magic and to create what has never been seen before. A true spectacle to behold. Zivon is one of Lord Maximilian’s favorite subjects and the latter even has an entire wifi system built and set up in Lukedonia as a gift just because the former has the hobby of streaming and likes being an “influencer”or whatever the humans call it. Zivon is quite an internet celebrity and Lord Maximilian is supportive of his work of “spreading superior noble influence over humans”. Zivon is also Princess Ashlynn’s tutor, who calls him “teacher”.

As of now, Zivon has no children.

Julius Loyard: Leader of the Loyard Clan. On-and-off lovers with Lucretia. An elegant man who is well-received by his fellow nobles. Julius is a man of few words and usually doesn’t express himself beyond the bare minimum required to be polite. While Julius does admit to enjoying the lavish lifestyle that was a gift from the Lord to all nobles, he is beginning to see why this is a problem for beings outside Lukedonia and starts to sympathize with them. It isn’t easy for him immediately to give up what he’s been used to all these years, but he’s starting to steer away from that lifestyle in support of the less fortunate. Julius was one of the first members to join Marcus’ secret organization of smuggling resources out of Lukedonia to help those in need. Currently, he’s responsible as the leader of the food distribution sector. In his free time, Julius is a jewelry designer and Lord Maximilian is a fan of his work.

Julius’ heir is his son whom he had with Lucretia. He is fond of her but doesn’t entirely agree with her rather carefree personality. They seem to have positive feelings for each other, but that’s only when both of them are very bored and have nothing better to do.

Giada Agvain: Leader of the Agvain Clan. Like Kendrick, she is extremely loyal to their Lord. She’s been by his side since the beginning, and they are childhood friends. Everyone knows that Giada used to feel one-sided love for the then-Maximilian and now Lord Maximilian, but what they don’t know is that she is still in love with him. Well, maybe it’s better for them to continue to believe that she has gotten over him. It’s not like he’ll ever like her back anyway, and you’ll never know what Princess Ashlynn will do if she finds out that anyone other than her precious Mommy is “coveting” her beloved Daddy. Giada is one of the few people who knows about Ashlynn’s true nature despite the latter’s angelic facade. While Giada does love Max on a personal level and is loyal to him, she doesn’t agree with his actions. She is also one of the first members of Marcus’ organization. Currently, Giada is responsible as the leader of the money distribution sector. In her free time, Giada tends to a small spider lily garden.

Giada’s heir is her daughter whom she had with an unnamed noble woman.

Dominic Raffaello “Dorant” Blerster: Leader of the Blerster Clan. A calm and rational man who remains unfazed in extreme situations. He is also the youngest to become Clan Leader, because his mother and predecessor saw so much potential in him, she passed over her title and Soul Weapon to him as soon as he came of age. Dominic pretends to be fairly neutral, and most people think he isn’t dedicated to anything or anyone, but he’s actually Lord Maximilian’s right hand man in the shadows. On the surface, he is simply Clan Leader of the Blersters and does a good job of managing his clan. When he no longer needs to act as Clan Leader, Dominic goes to the castle and reports everyone’s moves to his Lord. Dominic is actually a member of Marcus’ secret organization and oversees the medical distribution sector… as a double agent. His allegiance is with the Lord and he’s only there to watch what everyone else is doing to report back to his master. That includes a long list of who is working with Marcus, what resources they have been smuggling out of Lukedonia, who is on the receiving end… etc. Every. Single. One. So Lord Maximilian is very much aware of Marcus’ “betrayal” thanks to Dominic. Curiously, Lord Maximilian tells Dominic to just let them be. Perhaps he finds this to be amusing. Nobody knows what he’s thinking. Dominic, on the other hand, is in total awe of his Lord for his immense generosity for the “traitors” even though they clearly don’t deserve it.

Dominic doesn’t know that Ashlynn has a crush on him.

As of now, Dominic has no children.

Undine Mergas: Daughter of the leader of the Mergas Clan. A woman with a short temper who is also easily provoked. Undine’s father, the current Mergas Clan Leader, believes that she is unfit to become Clan Leader due to her personality and tendencies to boss the knights around instead of being a responsible and respectful leader like she is supposed to, but he is hopeful that she will change one day. Undine is best friends with Mimi and the two of them are almost always seen together. On one of her travels to the outside world, Undine met a human named Michael Travis Osborn by chance and she has had a crush on him ever since. He’s pretty cute. Maybe the Lord will let her capture him and bring him back to Lukedonia, she thinks.

Mimi Elenor: Daughter of the leader of the Elenor Clan. A woman with a similar personality to her best friend Undine, but less impulsive and more calm. That’s why they get along and are best friends because they have much in common. Mimi has an older brother so she likely won’t become the next Elenor Clan Leader, but she’s fine with that. In fact, she’s glad she won’t become Clan Leader because all those responsibilities, hassles, sitting in meetings all day, blah blah blah… ew, just too much work. She just wants to have fun, so her brother better be competent so she won’t have to bother with her clan at all. Mimi, like Undine, also has a crush on Michael Travis Osborn. They chat about how cute he is. Both of them want to capture him and bring him into Lukedonia. They’re thinking about discussing this with the Lord. If Lord Maximilian hears about this, he’d approve of the capture and tell them to go ahead and enjoy themselves because of course he wants all of his nobles to get their hands on everything they wish for. Plus, these two remind him of his daughter Ashlynn so he’d be even more generous towards them.

Kushaal Kertia: Leader of the Kertia Clan. Cousin of Galileo. A respected fighter known for his immense speed and agility even amongst the Kertia. Kushaal is also honorable. He dislikes dirty fighting and is fairly open to acknowledging his own weaknesses and strives to become even stronger and faster. He has heard about a certain blonde werewolf warrior who is the fastest of his pack, and wishes to fight him one day. While Kushaal enjoys and supports the luxurious lifestyle given to him by their Lord, he believes that humans and werewolves could use some help from Lukedonia. After all, if they’re all gone, he’s not going to have anyone interesting to fight with anymore. Kushaal would love to spar with the werewolves, so he hopes that they’re doing well. In his free time, Kushaal likes to collect rare werewolf artifacts to display in his home because they feel familiar to him, for some odd reason.

As of now, Kushaal has no children.

Galileo Kravei: Son of the leader of the Kravei Clan. Cousin of Kushaal. A man who has a bit of an inferiority complex because his abilities seem to have hit a wall, and he can’t get stronger with his own strength. Galileo is probably going to get by just fine, even though he himself is more impatient than anyone in terms of wanting to gain strength. Other than that, no one really knows much about him since he tends to keep to himself. In his free time, he plays with his three supernatural pet aquatic snakes: Ramen, Ramyeon, and Lamien. Galileo has a huge love-hate crush on Kendrick, and people will tell you he’s both extra mean and extra nice to him. He sends him cheesy “let’s fight” love letters written on rose scented paper. Yeah. He’s totally in love.

And that’s it for now!

Again, very open to questions and discussion. Quite happy about my second major AU! While this post only touches the surface of what I have in mind, I have a feeling that I will grow to like this AU even more. Maybe I’ll even create brand new OCs specific to this AU lol.

Thank you for reading and stay tuned for future posts!

[jounosparticles]

hellooo uh do you think fukuchi sees himself in the hunting dog members, good or bad? (traits I mean)

oooh this is a really good question!!

this really depends on how fukuchi sees himself. i assume he sees himself as some sort of hero who was forced into a villain role? personally, id regard him as intelligent, brave, strong, strategic, etc.

i also see fukuchi as caring. he really did not seem like he wanted to do the harm but did as was necessary.

as for bad traits, i see fukuchi as conflicted, violent (even if he doesn’t want to be), deceitful, and secretive

i’ll go through each hunting dog one by one.

tachihara

tachihara is very interesting to look at here. his moral greyness and internal conflict between the mafia and the hunting dogs makes looking at his relationship with fukuchi a bit deeper since they both are good people who sometimes side with the bad side.

- tachihara is very loyal. he cares about the hunting dogs AND the mafia. this leads him to some sort of moral greyness since he just seems loyal to people instead of moral organizations. you could argue fukuchi is similar, as he stayed loyal to his plan and was very reluctant to fight his own. this is debatable though, since fukuchi did have to betray the hunting dogs regardless.

- tachihara is strong. fukuchi recognized him as a strong soldier before they fought. he possibly seen himself in tachi there since they both had to face hard challenges for the sake of good.

- tachihara is secretive. he’s great at covering a case and fit in very well during his mafia infiltration. fukuchi could likely see himself in tachihara since really fukuchi has been keeping the secret of the war for 36 years. he’s also good at keeping a facade up.

- tachihara is determined. he is willing to fight and die for what he believes in and for the people he cares about. fukuchi could be similar in this aspect as he is fighting for what he believes is best and sacrificed himself for this.

- tachihara is willing. he does what’s best often with a smile on his face. this reminds me of how young fukuchi used to act, maybe fukuchi sees his younger self in tachi?

- tachihara is willing to work with the ‘bad’ side to do what is right. fukuchi could likely understand this, since he is doing the exact same with the DoA

overall, i feel there are some traits that align between the two. i can see fukuchi seeing his younger self within tachihara, as someone who is bright and determined. he also likely would resonate with tachihara being willing to work with the bad side to achieve good. like how he works with the mafia to protect the agency.

teruko

i’m honestly having a hard time finding too many parallels and similarities between the two. they get along well and clearly care about each other but i believe they are fundamentally very different people.

- teruko is expressive. she’s loud with her emotions and how she feels about things. fukuchi on the surface is similar, acting boisterous and friendly to most people instead of straightforward. however, i don’t see him relating to her in this aspect since their execution of said expressiveness is vastly different.

- teruko is conflicted. she couldn’t decide what was right or wrong when she found out fukuchi’s true plan. i would say she sees herself and her internal turmoil within him here but i don’t see it really vice versa.

overall, i don’t think fukuchi sees himself in teruko very much. they’re fundamentally very different people who seem to have different approaches to their work and interactions. although they get along, i don’t see many similarities between them.

tecchou

these two are very similar in combat-abilities but their personalities are very different. their approaches to achieving their own ideals go against each other a bit.

- tecchou is strong. he is supposed to be the strongest swordsman within the hunting dogs. fukuchi is also an incredibly strong swordsman and likely sees himself within tecchou when it comes to combat purposes.

- tecchou is determined. often, when his mind is set on something he will insist on it. shall i bring up the jouno being missing scene again? fukuchi is also determined, he spent years coming up with a plan and executed it well.

- tecchou is just. he believes in doing what is best for everyone and protecting those who need to be protected. fukuchi’s whole plan was revolving around saving millions of people, and while planning for it he still worked to keep justice at bay. i don’t know if i’d say fukuchi sees himself in tecchou here since tecchou is a very do-good person without harming the innocent however i figured id mention it anyways.

- tecchou is caring. he seems to want what is best for others, fukuchi does the same.

overall, these two clash a lot in personality. they are similar in profession however the way they act contrasts and would probably make it a bit harder for fukuchi to see himself in tecchou. fukuchi could relate to the determined, skilled swordsman that tecchou is but they diverge in other aspects. someone who is morally black-and-white like tecchou is very different and unrelatable to someone who is morally grey such as fukuchi.

jouno

i feel this depends on how you see his interaction with fukuchi before they fight. if you adapt it as fukuchi seeing jouno as evil, fukuchi was incorrectly perceiving jouno as a person and therefore could never truly see himself within him. in contrast, if you adapt it as fukuchi trusting jouno would do good behind his back while pretending to support his actions, i could see some traits that could relate them. (sorry if that last sentence didn’t make sense i’m gonna make an analysis on it soon actually!) regardless i will go over some traits.

- jouno is intelligent. he is very good at reading people and their actions. fukuchi is also good at this, however he uses his sword to send signals to indicate of it.

- jouno is secretive. he’s good at hiding things and being dishonest in order to protect something. fukuchi does similar.

- jouno is violent. he’s willing to harm others and often seems eager to if they’re a criminal. fukuchi might have seen himself in jouno here, as he is also someone willing to be brutal for the sake of good.

- jouno is deceitful. he lies and bluffs a lot to hide the fact that he cares. he openly said right before fighting fukuchi that he would consider switching sides if they were to lose; yet when given the chance he denied and attacked immediately. fukuchi is also deceitful, he lied to the hunting dogs about his plan and likely was not honest with the decay of angels over his plan. him and fyodor have completely different goals yet they worked together.

overall, it really does depend here and i am conflicted as to whether fukuchi sees himself in jouno or not. on one hand, he may have seen jouno as someone who was willing to use force for good and was a good fighter, which fukuchi would likely resonate with. but on the other hand he may have just seen jouno as a sadist who didn’t care about what side he was truly on as long as he had power and likely wouldn’t relate to that.

the hunting dogs as a whole

- the hunting dogs are generally selfless and willing to do anything to serve others. fukuchi also acts like this, he was willing to sacrifice his life in order to protect and unite humanity.

- the hunting dogs are powerful. fukuchi, being the leader likely sees himself in his subordinates as he helped the others. they likely reminded him of his own training in the past.

- the hunting dogs are goal-oriented. they dont stop a mission until it’s completed and never fail. fukuchi was also like this, he worked towards the bigger picture for his plan and was set on it for many years.

in the end, i feel all the hunting dogs have very diverse personalities that make any truly being fully visible within fukuchi impossible. they all share some traits and have a somewhat similar moral code. fukuchi likely sees himself a little in everyone as a result of working with and commanding them, as most people relate and act a bit like those around them; but there is not too much that makes fukuchi see his entire ideal set within a specific person.

thank you for the question!! this was fun to look at :)

[riversofmars]

Femslash February is here! And here is my contribution! The period military AU we deserve! Liv/Helen and Kate/Osgood in a military/Bletchley Park style setting. Honestly, very little to do with DW this one, can probably be read as an original tbh XD

Summary: When studying ancient languages and linguists, Helen Sinclair hadn't imagined taking her skills to an army base, but there she was. Everyone was doing their bit to help the war effort, and when she had been called upon to assist the special military branch UNIT with breaking codes, she could hardly refuse. Alongside another civilian specialist - the brilliant tech-whiz Petronella Osgood - she finds herself in the unfamiliar world of the military. Brigadier Kate Stewart turns out to be a kind, admirable leader and as Helen is eager to exceed expectations, she pushes herself above and beyond. When she collapses from exhaustion, she's taken to UNIT's medical officer.

Home Front - Part 1 of 28

Helen Sinclair looked dreadful at breakfast. Listlessly she pushed her spoon through her porridge without eating much at all. She didn’t feel like it. She pinched the bridge of her nose and squeezed her eyes shut, hoping to fight the piercing headache that ran through her skull. It was no use. It had reached the point of making her feel sick, and the watery porridge, which was all military rations allowed for, was doing nothing to awaken her appetite. But at least she had food, she considered, as she scooped up a spoonful. A lot of the population had it far worse than her. It was one of the benefits of working for the military, even in a civilian capacity. Never in a million years had she expected to be eating her breakfast in the mess-hall of a military base and yet, here she was. So much for her father telling her that languages and linguistics were empty, vain pursuits…

“How much sleep did you get?” A voice cut through Helen’s thoughts, pulling her from her musings back to reality. The linguist startled, lost her grip on her spoon, and the piece of cutlery tumbled to the floor in a damning, metallic clunk. She looked up to find Petronella Osgood giving her a concerned frown as she slipped into the seat opposite her.

“I don’t have to answer that…” Helen mumbled, fishing for her spoon, effectively hiding from her room-mate’s scrutinising glance.

“You sleep even less than I do!” Osgood observed once the linguist straightened up again and placed the spoon next to her bowl. At least now she had an excuse to stop eating…

“Only because you fell asleep over your work last night…” Helen answered, rubbing her eyes.

“And I appreciate that you put a blanket around me, but that’s besides the point,” Osgood retorted pointedly. They had been sharing a room for some time now, two civilian specialists to help the special forces of UNIT. While their fields of expertise were vastly different, there was plenty they had in common to start building a friendship among the grim day-to-day and working tirelessly on carving out advantages for their soldiers. Helen was the language specialist, working on enemy codes and secret messages, whereas Osgood had the technical, scientific know-how none of the male UNIT staff could match. “When was the last time you had a decent night’s sleep?” The scientist inquired sternly.

“It’s just a lot. There is so much to do and I can feel that I’m getting close to something. Every day that passes without a breakthrough is another day that people die and I-” Helen rubbed her face, too tired to make up excuses. She knew Osgood understood her. They were in it together and she was grateful to have a friend to rely on.

“You can’t carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, Helen,” the scientist dropped her voice as a group of soldiers walked past, flashing them smiles that neither one of them cared for. It came with the territory of being the only civilian women on staff. “No-one is expecting you to either,” she carried on, trying to meet Helen’s eyes who was feigning interest in her breakfast once more. “We’re all doing our bit. You heard what the Brigadier said yesterday, we are making a difference.”

“She’s just trying to keep morale up,” the linguist gave a defeated sigh, burying her face in her hands. She took a deep breath. Kate Lethbridge-Stewart was an outstanding leader, smart, resourceful, confident… she easily commanded the attention of her troops, despite her gender, and Helen wished she could muster the same level of confidence and determination as her.

“Even so!” Osgood argued. “You’ll be no help to anyone if you work yourself into the ground.”

“I know, I know…” Helen sighed and folded her arms in front of her chest, leaning onto the table. Her neck ached from hours of hunching over her desk, her eyes burned from the strain of staying up all hours, and her brain was fried with exhaustion. She could see all the warning signs, felt them excruciatingly keenly, and yet she thought herself unable to eliminate the root cause. There were people relying on her. She couldn’t buckle under the pressure.

“Please, go back to bed,” Osgood reached across the table and touched her arm to refocus her wandering attention.

“I can’t. I’ve got so much to do. And besides-” Helen shook her head but her friend wouldn’t let her finish.

“You’re not a soldier, Helen,” she cut in decisively. “We are not soldiers. We’re here to support, we don’t have to abide by iron military rule,” she reminded her.

“I suppose not but… I just don’t want to disappoint,” Helen mumbled a confession as she was too tired to put up her walls of deflection. “To be thought of as capable enough to help is- I want to make good on that.” The Brigadier had placed a great deal of trust in her. She couldn’t let her down. Besides, she didn’t want to prove her father right. And if she failed and was the reason one of her brothers, who had been drafted into the war, lost their lives because she wasn’t quick enough to- She stopped herself from going down that terrifying road any further. She knew it was no good. All she could do was work her hardest. Her brothers were fine the last she had heard…

“And you will. But not if you collapse from exhaustion,” Osgood insisted.

“It’s easy for you, you’re just naturally brilliant, you just look at a piece of technology and know how it works. I, on the other hand-” Helen shook her head to herself. In her exhausted state, she was much more susceptible to the nagging doubts years of being told she wasn’t good enough had left on her.

“You are a linguistic genius,” the scientist implored her, and, instinctively, the linguist shook her head.

“You overestimate me. The Brigadier overestimates me and-” The frustration she was feeling with her lack of progress through the night became directed at herself.

“No. You underestimate yourself,” Osgood interrupted and Helen didn’t get the opportunity to argue back.

“Miss Sinclair?”

The linguist’s head snapped up, all traces of tiredness suddenly blown away, as Brigadier Lethbrige-Stewart walked towards their table. Quickly, Helen stood up and so did Osgood, as the head of UNIT came to stand in front of them. Helen wasn’t quite sure if they strictly had to stand to attention but it seemed like the right and natural thing to do. Kate Stewart's presence simply demanded something to that effect.

“Good morning, Ma’am,” Helen and Osgood spoke in perfect unison; their surroundings had certainly rubbed off on them over time.

“Please, no need for all that,” Kate answered with a trace of bemusement, but neither of them moved to sit down. The Brigadier seemed to realise as much as cut straight to business: “I was hoping you could give me an update on your progress later today, Miss Sinclair?”

“Yes, of course,” Helen nodded hurriedly, even as what little colour remained on her cheeks drained away. She had made some progress but not enough. The Brigadier surely expected a breakthrough and she simply couldn’t deliver, not yet. The linguist fought tears as she struggled with the disappointment she felt in herself and that surely, their commanding officer would as well. The prospect was terrifying. She had to go back to her work and try to come up with something helpful by the time she was asked to report.

“Wonderful, come and see me in my office at eleven. I have recruits to supervise and scare until then,” she gave a good-natured chuckle that would have put Helen right at ease had it not been for her mind already working feverishly on a particular cypher that she hadn’t been able to work out yet. Kate Stewart had never said an unkind word to her or anyone, which made the thought of disappointing her all the harder to bear.

“Yes, Ma’am,” Helen answered, as steadily as she could manage. She could feel Osgood’s eyes on her, filled with concern, but she chose to ignore her. Mercifully, her friend’s attention was diverted when the Brigadier turned to her:

“I was hoping to see you after lunch, Osgood. There are some matters of strategic importance that I want to discuss and get your insight on.”

“Yes, of course,” Osgood replied eagerly and Helen’s heart sank even more. She didn’t begrudge her friend her success or the faith that the Brigadier was placing in her. She only wished she could be worthy of the same.

[ash-and-books]

Rating: 4/5

Book Blurb:

Two rival writers. One prestigious publishing contract. A bargain of hearts and seduction.

They say never bargain with the fae. They also say don’t get drunk on fae wine. Yet romance author Edwina Danforth has managed a blunder with both on her first visit to the infamous faelands. Now she’s trapped in a magic-fueled bet she barely remembers with a man she’d be happier to forget. The terms? Whoever can bed the most lovers during their month-long dueling book tour wins a coveted publishing contract.

The win should be easy for Edwina. She’s known for penning scintillating tales of whirlwind romance. There’s just one problem: her imagination vastly exceeds her bedroom experience. But when failure means plummeting her career back into obscurity, losing isn’t an option.

Her handsome fae rival, William Haywood, poses an even greater challenge. Not only are his looks as aggravatingly perfect as his track record behind closed doors, but he has his own reasons for playing to win, and he won’t go down without a fight. Unless, of course, it’s a different kind of going down. In that case, he’s fair game.

Edwina and William clash in a rivalry of romance. But what happens when their objects of desire…turn out to be each other?

A Rivalry of Hearts is a spicy standalone adult fantasy romcom in the Fae Flings and Corset Strings series. Every book in the series can be read on its own in any order and ends with a HEA. If you like academic rivals, enemies to lovers, and quirky heroines, then you’ll love this sizzling tale.

The Fae Flings and Corset Strings series is set in the same world as The Fair Isle Trilogy and Entangled with Fae. Journey back to this beloved fae world or fall in love for the first time.

Review:

Two rival authors, one prestigious publishing contract, and a bet to see who can seduce more people... yet the only ones being seduced are each other. Edwina Danforth is a romance author, she loves writing smutty romance novels and finds joy in them but she has yet to actually make a penny despite writing over 17 books. When she is late for her latest tour stop she arrives only to discover that they've also brought in another author... who is now also going on tour with her, the handsome William Haywood. The moment Will and Edwina meet is not great to say the least, with him calling her work "romantic drivel." Will and Edwina do not get along, and when they both find out that the person who sells the most books on the tour will be offered the new publishing contract, tensions only rise. One night out at the bar they come up with a bet: whoever can seduce the most people wins... and a deal with the fae is binding. Edwina, despite writing smut and romance, has actually had very little experience but her pride won't let her stop the agreement. Meanwhile, Will's attempt to tease and actually flirt with Edwina ends up with her misunderstanding and proposing the bet... and now they both are competing...yet the only people they seem to be seducing and wanting to go to bed with is each other. But if they admit to their feelings so much is at stake and their game could end up with one of them losing everything, with both of them having their own desperate reasons for winning and dealing with the feelings they are both trying to fight, can this book tour be a success and can they actually make a romance happen or was it doomed from the start? This was a really fun read and I liked the competitive game between the two. The rivalry was cute and honestly, Will was such a sweetheart. He was constantly looking after Edwina and trying to show her how much he adores her, Edwina was so stubbornly prideful and set in her judgements it made me want to shake her at times. It's a really fun read and I had a blast reading it and can't wait to see where the second book with the second couple goes!!! If you like fae realms, romance, and fun characters I would absolutely recommend this!

Release Date: June 12, 2024

Publication/Blog: Ash and Books (ash-and-books.tumblr.com)

*Thanks Netgalley and ARC provided by Victory Editing NetGalley Co-op for sending me an arc in exchange for an honest review*

[benayoung]

* ❁┆i’m no bad witch

teamwork evaluation.

after her recent feedback from the judges, she’s aware this will be her greatest challenge yet. she doesn’t mind being scary. as far as nayoung is concerned, she says what’s necessary and what others are too nervous to say. could she be nicer about it? sure, but the industry isn’t nice, and some people don’t get it if you don’t put matters bluntly. 

she needs to get along with everyone, though, especially her teammates for this round. 

her teammates: hyejin and eunkyung, both of whom she had the...opportunity to encounter during her practice last round. as far as she’s concerned, hyejin needs to mind her own business and eunkyung needs to take the competition more seriously, and it seems the judges at least agree with her on hyejin. on eunkyung...they have vastly differing opinions. they called eunkyung center material. she doesn’t understand that at all, and isn’t looking forward to working with her. she’s trying to be optimistic about it, though: if the judges like eunkyung, maybe she’ll be an asset to their performance. or maybe the judges will suddenly see her the way nayoung does this round, and they’ll lose. maybe then, eunkyung will get eliminated instead of she or hyejin. 

she realizes there’s no real point in thinking about that now, though. all that matters for now is putting on the best performance possible, and. practicing as smoothly as possible. 

nayoung isn’t one to waste time. the first day they have available to work together, she gets started on the line distribution, and it’s nayoung, so her poor team has no real choice but to endure her taking charge. she listens to any requests the others have as far as lines go, then listens to the song, and watches their guide video–– over and over and over, and draws up the rest of the line distribution herself. she tries her best to be fair, but above all else keeps the quality of the performance in mind.

she and hyejin have more experience and rap skill than eunkyung, so it makes sense for them to start and end off the song; the audience will likely remember those parts the best, so they need to make sure they’re as high quality as possible. then, she tries to assign the parts that seem the hardest to either herself or hyejin, and leave the simplest ones to eunkyung. it should be easier for her to learn those and perfect them than any of the others.

once she’s done, she gathers the other two girls and sits on the practice room floor with them, and hands them lyric sheets outlining the parts she assigned for them. 

“okay. this is what i settled on. does this look good to you guys?” she honestly is open to suggestions. sure, she thinks she knows best, but it is a teamwork evaluation, and even she knows it’s important this at least looks like a team decision.

* ❁┆ @eunkyungxbe & @behyejin

[lucy-verse]

God bless this post, you hit the nail on the head.

I honestly don’t understand how anyone can listen to this song and come to the conclusion that it’s victim blaming. It’s like they don’t understand the meaning of satire and, you know, context when it comes to the characters.

It’s made very clear from the start that trying to intervene directly or approach the situation with sympathy only makes Angel defensive and withdraw into himself even more. He was furious with Charlie for turning up to the studio and lost his temper with Husk when the former tried to talk sense into him. He doesn’t want sympathy. He doesn’t want to be “saved”. He doesn’t want to be reminded that he’s a victim. This isn’t at all uncommon with how some people react when it comes to facing their trauma; they don’t want to get people involved, either out of pride, fear of repercussions, or the risk of anyone else getting hurt. Admitting vulnerability can feel like a loss of control.

Husk realises this after Angel’s outburst. A sugary heart-to-heart chat isn’t going to get through to him. So, he settles for communicating with him in a way Angel understands: crude humour. Angel doesn’t get it at first, which is why he responds negatively to begin with. But as the song progresses, he catches on to what Husk is trying to say and joins in.

Because Husk isn’t literally calling Angel a loser - he’s saying they’re both losers in the eyes of society. Addicts and sex workers are constantly demonised, ostracised, and abandoned, while SA victims aren’t taken seriously and face constant victim blaming - both in the show and in the real world. They’re looked down upon as worthless, broken, sinful, constantly judged and blamed for their situation, even if it was completely out of their hands.

Husk knows this, and he knows there’s little to no chance of bias ever changing. So he says, “fuck it then, we’re losers. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, so let’s embrace it. We can be “losers” together.” Almost like he’s reclaiming the word to empower them both.

Husk is not making the situation about himself. He fully acknowledges the trauma Angel is going through, and simply tells him that he’s not alone in his situation. Sometimes, having someone who understands can be the first step to healing. Part of Angel’s suffering is that he feels like he’s all alone and Husk is telling him that’s not the case. And he communicates it in a way that doesn’t make Angel feel like he’s some sort of damsel in distress.

Yes, the song pokes fun and uses demeaning language - but sometimes dark humour is a way people cope with stressful situations, myself included. When I was SA’d, my friend turned to me and went, “snap!” That may be crude to some people, but she knows me and knew that sort of thing would help put me at ease, and make me more comfortable opening up about it. Another of my friends constantly jokes about her dead father to help her process his absence. It’s not for everyone, but it’s a coping mechanism just like any other.

Husk never once says that he and Angel’s circumstances are the same. His very words are, “I know what it’s like to regret the choices made and knowing you can’t take it back.” This is referring to Angel’s decision to sign a contract with Val, which he blames himself for (“What’s the worst part of this Hell? I can only blame myself.”) Husk knows that trying to convince Angel it isn’t his fault is pointless at this point in time, because Angel simply isn’t ready to accept it. So, instead he tells him that he understands his mindset. Husk also made a decision that resulted on him being on the end of a leash, and while the circumstances are vastly different, the pain and regret are similar.

Angel and Husk are the perfect examples of two different kinds of addicts. Angel’s addiction comes as a result of his downfall, a way for him to cope with his terrible situation. Husk’s addiction, on the other hand, is what caused his downfall; he flew too close to the sun because he was unable to stop himself, and ended up losing everything. And now they’re both in the same boat; under the control of psychopaths who treat them like objects for their own amusement.

Part of what makes “Loser, Baby” such a beautiful song is that it shows how Husk was actually listening to Angel and taking the time to understand his way of coping.

“We’re both flawed, we’re both broken, we’re both in shit situations that we can’t get out of - but we’ve got each other for support and we shouldn’t hate ourselves for being victims.”

In Response to Criticism of Loser, Baby

According to the yt comments under prime's upload of Loser, Baby, apparently some folks are taking offense to Husker comforting Angel by telling him he's a loser and to get over it and somehow framing this lovely lovely song as victim blaming??

the media literacy bar really is in hell

I do think the song plays out far better in the context of the show, and isn't really made to be a standalone piece of consumable media, though I will be treating it as such in the coming days by endlessly looping the video

anyway, this is a song that brings comfort and hope to both characters thanks to who each character is and what situation each is in. These are vital pieces of context that are important to understanding the message of the song. It's important to realize one method of comfort is not going to work for every situation-- the particular method in Loser, Baby works because of what the characters are looking for in the moment.

Husk confronts Angel on his self-destructive tendencies, to which Angel responds that drugs, sex, and immediate dopamine hits are his escape, and that, even in the worst case, even if he destroys himself, it'd be better than the situation he's currently in (a suicidal, scary thing to say)

In the previous scenes in the show, we've seen that Angel takes an almost comedic level of pride in his work, eager to drag the gang off to sex dungeons and show them his porn tapes. He delights in how uncomfortable his world makes them and constantly does bits, putting on a character that's hypersexual, that seems like he's in control and wants to be doing the sex work he's doing

This is very clearly an attempt at masquerading a level of power over his life that he doesn't actually have; in reality, he has no choice but to be sexually exploited, but if he acts like he chooses it, it almost feels like he owns his life. Or, really, it almost looks to others that he owns his life. It's all about performance and perception with Angel; he hates the idea of looking like someone who needs saving, hates looking like a victim, and hates being seen as powerless, so he tries to act like he's none of those things. Of course, he can't really lie to himself, so he resolves that inner turmoil (suffering that he completely internalizes because he doesn't want to break his facade) through drugs, sex, alcohol, and even pain as distraction.

Which is why "Loser, Baby," is so fucking wonderful! Husk is telling him, over and over, that he's not fooling anyone, that his little character he's sacrificing so much to play isn't worth it, that Angel's a loser and everyone can tell. If you take his words at face value, it's cruel and unkind and could make things worse--- that is, if this wasn't Husk and he wasn't talking to Angel.

It's freeing. Angel is being told that he doesn't need to do his bullshit performance, that he can be a loser, and that everyone at the hotel's a loser too, so no one's gonna judge him. It's a song about accepting where you are in life, about stopping Angel's denial of reality and refusal of vulnerability.

Most of all, it's a very kind gesture on Husk's part. It wouldn't have worked if Husk hadn't also loudly called himself a loser and opened up about his past mistakes. It's a wonderful song about mutual vulnerability and accepting imperfections and mistakes and accepting that you're in a shitty place so you can finally stop self-destructing and start finding solace in other people also in shitty places.

also it's gay soooooo not too much on my beloved huskerdust

[fulokis]

Honest ahsoka thoughts warning it’s long and ranty and I may be using it as an excuse to not express some of the feelings that I have in personal life right not

I’m gonna be honest I never thought I would hate ahsoka as a character, like she was my favorite for the longest time. And yeah that started to change in high school because I related more to Ezra and Sabine while watching rebels as it came out and that makes sense because I was the same age. But she was still a cool character that I liked. But I can’t fucking stand her after rebels, even in the last season of rebels she’s iffy for me. And like yes I’m watching ahsoka but at this point it’s not for ahsoka it’s because I’m nostalgic for rebels (and imma be honest the actors they chose for Sabine and hera are not my favorite) and I’m a huge Thrawn fan. But like I’m terrified they’re gonna fuck up thrawns character more than they did in rebels (honestly heir to the empire with canon Thrawn seems not like something that would happen unless he was playing an angle like he was going to the empire in the first place (my opinion clearly most people aren’t necessarily going to agree with me.) ) at the very least they have Lars playing Thrawn which gives me a little hope it won’t be totally off the mark. But also a lot of the dialogue just isn’t well written, like I know the actors are just given it but it seems a lot like most of them just kinda stuck to the script and didn’t play around with it to make it work. (I say this having only been in a few productions in highschool but like we would play around with stuff and to me this feels like they’re at a table read) which honestly is a shame because the music? the loth cat? The droids? A good portions of the effects? Are all really well done to me and it hurts because this could be such a beautiful production but it’s falling short because the writing and the actors aren’t my favorite

And don’t get me wrong I am enjoying bits and pieces but if I truly enjoy a piece of media I will go back to it and re experience it again. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve rewatched the clone wars, rebels, the prequels, rouge one. Or replayed swtor and Kotor and the battlefront campaign. I know I’ve read the Thrawn 2017 series at least three times in full and the separate books at different points. I’ve read the ascendency trilogy twice as well. Death troopers I’ve read three times at least, same with annihilation (which tbh is absolute crap but the point is it’s entertaining and I enjoyed it)

And that’s the thing I love Star Wars, Star Wars genuinely probably saved my life because I had something to look forward to despite my mental health being dogshit. And I can recognize that not all Star Wars is for me. And yeah it makes me sad especially when it involves characters that I love. Like the Revan book couldn’t read that shit, a new dawn I can’t ever get past the first 90 pages (yes this kills me and I don’t know why I can’t) and I think that’s what makes me upset the most is that as much as I loved ahsoka as a character it has been ruined for me, and I’m not sure I’ll ever enjoy her as a character ever again. Cause the thing with the other two is Revan is different for everyone and that’s because BioWare let you choose who you wanted to play as back in 2003. With a new dawn I don’t know why but it isn’t vastly different than the characters I love, it’s still them and I know it’s still very much them even if I personally can’t get through it. But with ahsoka its hard to explain but I can’t stand her since after rebels and it hurts.

And I understand characters develop as they grow, but I don’t see how she made the jump from being rebels season two ahsoka to this ahsoka we have now. There’s such a disconnect to me, I don’t know how to word it other than she seems like such a bitch now and there’s nothing to me that would have made her develop that way. Yeah there’s a war and trauma and shit but that doesn’t connect to the way she’s bitchy. Like sure I can see how some of it could be a trauma response. But not all of it, like geuinely I don’t understand how she would just not wish to tell Sabine about the potential to find Ezra at all. Like I’m sorry your dealing with your personal issues cause it sounds like y’all got into a fight but you honestly expect me to believe a character who typically was mediating between people so much when she was a fucking teen that she’s going to be some bitch who holds grudges and refuses to solve her own goddamn issues? Like I’m sorry but that seems like some backward character development and as far as we know there’s been no major developments whatsoever.

Also can I just say the choice to make Sabine her padawan is fucking weird. Like they never interacted much, if they wanted to pull that they should’ve left kanan alive and had him do it.

[erodasfishtacos]

Could you do a blurb of mlb!Harry and y/n doing an interview with a magazine and they talk about how they met, how he decided he wanted to play baseball professionally, being a father and mother and winning the championship

thought this was a cute idea

okay! ive gotten a ton of requests. im going to do it in an article format.

It’s for Times Magazine - he’s over the cover - with the title - A Legend Among Us.

Tom is the interviewer

—

Harry had welcomed me up to his house for the interview. A beautiful sprawling mansion nestled in the woods near a lake in New York - right outside the city where he played.

As soon as I walked in, the house was warm and felt like a well-lived in house. The baseball player had apologized for the small littering of dump trucks, barbies, and blocks that were left behind.

We sat down outside on the patio, it was cool, and Harry was dressed in a Yankees hoodie and Nike shorts - sponsored by them of course.

Harry was actually Nike’s biggest money making sponsor due to his merchandise and memorabilia with the company.

I could tell Harry was relaxed, a carefree smile on his face opposed to the scowl he had when he was on the mound.

There were toys scattered on their pristine green grass, a massive pool, jungle gym, and sandpit - a child’s dream.

Harry cracked a joke that the landscapers hate cutting their grass because of all the toys in the way.

Tom: Mr. Styles - a pleasure to sit down with you. I’m a bit starstruck if I’m honest.

Harry: [laughs] it’s no problem. Thanks for agreeing to come up here.

Tom: It’s a beautiful piece of property.

Harry: Yeah, I love it. My wife picked this house out and she has way better taste than me. She did good.

Tom: Let’s talk about her. How long have you been together?

A soft look appears on Styles face as soon as he starts speaking about her.

Harry: We’ve been together ten years, married for eight now - just celebrated our anniversary a month ago.

Tom: That’s impressive, especially for a sport man like yourself.

I realize that what I had said hadn’t sat right with the baseball player. His tone comes back much sharper with me.

Harry: I don’t need to be rewarded or praised because I’ve stayed loyal to my wife. Just because of my job doesn’t make me a scumbag.

Tom: I apologize. It’s just that you constantly have beautiful women chasing after you.

Harry: Okay? Have you seen the woman I’m married to? She’s fucking gorgeous. There’s a reason we have four kids, can’t keep my hands off her.

Tom: Four kids - three boys and a girl, right? Tell us their names and ages, maybe something about them, if you would.

Harry: Our oldest is Easton, he is six and a half, and is definitely is a little leader. He doesn’t take shit from anyone and bosses all his siblings around. He’s the most like me.

Tom: Is that good or bad?

Harry: [laughs] If you ask me, I’d say good. If you ask my wife, she would say no.

Tom: Then Cash?

Harry: Yeah, he’s four. He’s the comedian. He is such a free spirit, easy-going, and always being silly. He craves attention and always gets it.

Tom: He sounds like a good time.

Harry: He is. Then Ezra who is two and just a sweetheart. He’s sensitive, very caring, but also nervous like none of my other kids are.

Tom: Does that make it harder for you?

Harry: Not at all. I’m just really protective of him.

Tom: That doesn’t surprise me.

Harry: Then we have Briar. Our little girl, she’s about three months old right now. We’re still getting to know her but she is a carbon copy of her mama.

Tom: Interesting. All your boys look exactly like you.

Harry: It was amazing to see those boys come out looking like me. I am man enough to admit I sobbed when I saw how gorgeous she was like her mother.

Tom: Wrapped around your finger, huh?

Harry: Just like her mama. Completely whipped for them.

Tom: What’s the secret that you’re hiding for such a happy marriage?

Harry appears thoughtful for a moment, reaching to take a swig of his protein drink as I take the opportunity to sip the expensive tasting sparkling water he’d offered me.

Harry: She is always making me work for it. In the best way possible. I mean I’m constantly chasing after her. She still plays hard to get like she did before we started dating.

Tom: I think most people would assume it was the other way around.

Harry: YN is the best fucking wife. I mean incredible, honestly. She’s the best mama to our babies. It would be impossible for me to not being head of heels for her.

Tom: What’s it like being a father?

Harry: [laughs] It’s the best. I thought baseball was the best job out there but it isn’t. I love being a dad. I would have a full baseball team if the missus would let me.

Tom: I mean baseball is a pretty good gig, right? You are the highest-paid player in history. You have also broken a massive amount of records that people thought were impossible to beat.

Harry: [his smile becomes a bit cocky as he shrugs] As much as it will make people mad, it comes easy to me but I also work hard because I want to set a good example for my children.

*interview continues about baseball for a bit*

In the middle of a question about his favorite teams growing up, we are interrupted by their patio door opening and a child who looks exactly like Harry toddles over.

It had to be Ezra as Harry had told me the other two were at school. The two-year-old had obviously escaped his mother’s grasp as she is hurriedly rushing out after him.

YN apologizes with a exasperated laugh, a fresh baby tucked in a sling around her chest. Ezra gives me a unsure look before he’s crawling up his father until he’s settled in his lap.

Harry forgets the question, distracted as he helps his son get comfortable in his arms, and a hand coming to rub the boys back.

He is assuring his wife that Ezra is okay, motioning them over to give her a kiss before doing the same to his daughter’s forehead.

Harry: It’s about nap time for this one. [Harry nods down to his son who’s nuzzling into his chest]

I was hoping to get more from the baseball player but as soon as Ezra requests that his dad takes him for a nap - Harry is soothing and agreeing with his son.

He is soft with his son, voice turning into a hum that is vastly different from the rough rasp on the field as he curses out refs.

It was overall a great experience, to get a look into the life of Harry Styles. I was walked out with Harry toting a sleepy toddler on his hip.

I got in my car, observing the Porsche, Escalade, Range Rover, and Lamborghini truck that is a reminder of just how rich this man was.

And I can’t say I’ll ever forget interviewing the most talented sport player that we will ever see in our time and much more time to come.

[kass-storycorner]

Mentally I’m getting worse again (tho I try to do all the stuff I learned from two years in therapy to … prevent it from getting bad bad ), so I’ve only been thinking about how some of the Genshin characters would comfort me? So here have this, whatever this is, that I wrote at 2am on a night before I have 11am shift at work. Using you in all of this but honestly this is 100% self indulgent. I just want someone to cuddle with. Pretty sure most of this isn’t really in character and every point is vastly different from the others but hey, it is what it is. As long as I’m in my current mindset my stuff won’t be any better than this

Genre: fluff, a bit of angst I guess idk man, comfort i hope

Content warnings: depression (?) I don’t go too much into detail, don’t want to write out those negative thoughts HA but you know you are just not in a good spot in these, absolutely inconsistent writing, every character has to deal with a different stage of feeling depressed and yeah

Characters: Diluc, Childe, Albedo, Yoimiya

Fun fact: my app crashed while writing this so thank the tumblr admins that you can restore posts you wrote after the app crashes one of the few good features of the app

Diluc:

Would definitely notice the first small changes in your behaviour, but wouldn’t think much of it in the beginning.

Maybe you are just tired? And even if not Diluc knows best that no one can always be chipper.

Still he doesn’t know how to act around you when you are sad / heading towards a depressive episode.

He would offer you his help, you just need to say what you need and he’ll give it to you.

Ah, but Diluc didn’t really consider at first that you would be too afraid to ask, even when he offered it to you.

One day he will directly ask you in the privates of your home if you are okay. At first you would try to brush it off, not wanting to be a burden on Diluc. You know how much he’s been through and that he also has his emotional scars… would be a bit selfish to dump it all onto him, wouldn’t it?

But oh, you’ve been dying to talk with someone about your feelings, craving a warm hug and words of comfort… so when Diluc doesn’t drop the topic you just let it all out.

He will take you in his arms and hug you, cuddle you, as long as you want. He’ll stroke your hair, quietly listening to your words, only small “mmmhs” and “it’s okay” leaving him, to reassure you that it’s fine for sharing it all.

When none of you talks all you can hear is his steady breath and oh, it’s so soothing.

Maybe you end up crying, while sharing all of it with him. All he does is to pull you closer into his chest, saying that it’s okay and tell you to let it all out.

Diluc hides his softer side from the people of Mondstadt, always hiding behind the more grumpy image some of him have, but he knows that it’s not good to run away from your own feelings. What you need to do is to feel them, do not try to push them aside because you are uncomfortable with them.

Generally he would be soft, kind and understanding. At first he might give you too much room, afraid he might be overstepping a boundary when he keeps pushing you in the beginning. Ends up in you isolating yourself / pulling away more, but once Diluc sees the pattern he will be more attentive to your needs and learn to differentiate between you needing space and you isolating.

Though please communicate with him better, he’s busy and if him having less time for you causes you distress you need to tell him, he might only notice it after the feelings festered.

Childe:

Oh boy - he hasn’t seen you in a while, Fatui duties you know, so when he knocks on your door one day he notices immediately that you are not in a good place.

This man - he cooks, he cleans, we all joke about him being the perfect husband but seriously. He sees the state of you, the state of your apartment and immediately helps.

Having spend the last week or two in a depressive state caused you to neglect your housework - the dirty dishes are everywhere and laundry keeps piling up. Not to talk about how you look.

Childe will make you a bath and while you’re in it he cleans. An immense help!!! Taking away a good chunk of thinks that made you feel just so overwhelmed and helpless.

The whole time he wouldn’t breach the topic of why it has come to that point, but now after you finished the bath and the apartment looks liveable again he asks you what’s wrong.

Honestly you don’t know yourself, you’ve been just lacking more and more energy to do the basic tasks and suddenly everything was a mess.

Will wipe away your tears and tell you “don’t cry, I’m here”, taking you in a hug.

When he’s around more, will he notice it when it slowly gets worse? Mmh, yeah!! He definitely notice when you are feeling more down, seeing how your interactions change and how your laughs become more forced.

In the beginning he will just try to make you feel all the “positive” feelings, not wanting you to feel any “negative” emotions at all

this man definitely represses his own trauma a lot and has a horrible way of coping with it so I doubt he would be the most emotionally intellectual person to help you through it

Though when you show that you don’t feel like showing your sadness aside and you just want someone to share it with / need some comfort he will adjust to your needs

Albedo:

Boy as impeccable observation skills, he will notice immediately when something is off.

However - he somehow struggles to understand your feelings. Like. At all.

When he asks you what’s wrong and you tell him that there is not a reason for your feelings, you just feel a bit depressed that’s all, he will not get it.

How do you feel a certain emotions without something causing it? There must be a reason for it.

And honestly he’s right there is always a reason for a certain feeling to arise, but sometimes they aren’t easy to understand for yourself or to spot, sometimes it’s just that your inner child needs a hug and it takes you three weeks and a metal breakdown to understand that this is all you needed… plus a good cry

He’s gonna be so awkward at trying to comfort you, making you feel better, at first. Trying everything out to cheer you up, he really doesn’t want you to feel bad. Asks around for advice what helps others when they are sad.

Honestly? The things he does, the small presents he gifts you - they are nice and make you feel loved, but it doesn’t make the bad feelings go away. Even worse it somehow builts up this immense pressure for you to get better quick because look! Albedo does nice things, he tries to help. He tries to figure it out. Why can’t you give him the results he hopes to get???

Only when someone (Timadeus for sure) finally tells Albedo that it’s not a special dish or flower or even place that helps with sad feelings - it’s that they remind them of something that’s comforting. Klee told him Dodoco helps when she’s sad, because Dodoco reminds her how much her mum loves her. So when people told him about certain foods or flowers - it was more because those were valuable for those individuals, doesn’t mean it has value to you. Most importantly is that he’s just there for you.

With that new bits of information he will try to adjust to your needs more, to learn what you need and to understand it.

He will be so upfront about it too, coming into your room and telling you that he’s been trying to make you feel better the past couple of weeks and noticing how your mood has not improved at all. Finally asks you what you need opposed to him only having asked why you feel that way

Will definitely make you cry with how he approaches the topic. When he apologises for making you cry you cry even harder at how soft he says it.

Albedo will remember what he was told, that it’s important to just be there for someone, so he will stay at your side, his hand on your back rubbing it while you are just sobbing.

After the tears have calmed down you can just be honest with him, tell him that you sometimes don’t know yourself what will make it better, that sometimes you just have to life with the feelings and accept them - but that his attempts really didn’t help.

He will apologise for putting more pressure on you, asking if you need a hug (something a lot of people have told him helps them but he was just to shy to actually try it out). After saying yes you both stay for a long time in the hug, the first thing in a long time to make you feel better.

Yoimiya:

My love, the light of my life, my future main - she would be SO good at helping you through an episode.

Notices the way you act towards her changes and immediately confronts you about it, afraid that something in the relationship is amiss until you tell her the truth that you are a bit depressed.

Canonically the one with the best communication skills, if you were to put her, Diluc and Kaeya in a room I’m 1000% sure those two would leave it as brothers again.

That said she can sometimes be a bit too overwhelming - she can talk a lot, but she’s a good listener too, but in her attempt to fix the issue she goes a bit overboard.

She’ll want you to talk it all out which isn’t a bad thing per se, but sometimes you just don’t feel like talking or that talking would help.

However the way Yoimiya is it will make you communicate with her more about how you feel and what you need - she kinda just seems to be more approachable and the kind of person you can pour my heart out to after meeting her on the toilets of a bar.

Will cuddle you as long as you need.

And honestly? 100% sure she would even make you a firework to cheer you up that you both watch from her favourite spot on a blanket while doing so (the cuddling!)

or you know maybe it’s just what I would really want to do with her when I’m depressed aka RIGHT NOW MAN