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riversofmars · 7 months ago

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Another little Sunday treat, for the prompt "Rainy Day" <3

Sunshine After The Rain

Summary: Liv has been summoning her courage to tell Helen about her romantic feelings for her. With the help of their neighbours Ron and Tony, she had made plans for a picnic in Hyde Park, going to great lengths with preparations. When the day finally comes, she finds that fickle April weather has turned on her. Gone is the sunshine form the past few days and it is pouring, leaving the med-tech disappointed and disheartened.

“Ughhh why is it like this?” Liv leaned onto the windowsill in the living room of 107 Bakerstreet, craning her neck to assess the weather outside. It was horribly dark even though it was nearly 9am, and it was pouring. There was no break in the clouds in sight, no trace of the sunshine they had been enjoying the previous few days. The weather had turned and with it, the med-tech's enthusiasm and high expectations for the day. This would never work. Her heart sank.

“Because it's spring in London,” Helen chuckled, making her way into the room carrying two cups of tea. She seemed bemused with her best friend's observation as Liv kept her eyes fixed outside, willing the clouds to blow over.

“Isn't spring meant to be the time where everything starts blooming, people are happy, the long winter is over-” she huffed, disappointment slowly tipping over into annoyance.

“Have you never heard of April showers? The weather is unpredictable this time of year,” the linguist gave a mild-mannered, appeasing response as she blew onto her tea to cool it.

“So frustrating,” Liv groaned, finding herself at a complete loss. What was she to do now?

“Did you have any particular plans for today?” Helen asked, raising her eyebrows curiously and inwardly her best friend winced.

“Well, no but-” That was a lie. She did. She had made wonderful plans that involved the picnic basket she had hidden away in her room and the woman beside her. It had taken a lot of organising and sneaking around too. She’d had the help of Ron and Tony who had been brilliant, not only giving her the basket which included plates, cutlery and everything one might need, but also offering her friendly, if firm, advice.

“You have to tell her!” they had insisted. “She is smitten with you but she doesn't know what to do about it. I think her family were quite difficult about the whole subject so... It's up to you to woo her.”

“But how do I do that?” Liv had been nonplussed. While it was wonderful to hear their neighbours encourage her, get their objective opinion and dream that they might be right, she was at a loss too. And scared. “What if I get it wrong? What if I lose her…”

“You won't, silly,” Ron had told her kindly. “Fortune favours the bold.” And Tony had carried on: “How about you start small if you need to gather your confidence? How about a picnic in the park? The weather is turning brighter!”

“Now that's a lovely idea. Picnic in Hyde Park among the flowerbeds, it will be lovely.”

And it surely would have been lovely had it not been for the rain. It presented a problem in many ways. She had ordered pastries at a bakery, she had spent hours in the kitchen last night after Helen had gone to bed, chopping up fruit and even gone to a 24h supermarket for fresh cheese, orange juice, clotted cream… and all the other lovely things she could think of that she knew her best friend liked. Now, it was all sitting in the basket in her room, sure to perish if they weren't eaten soon. She had hardly slept thanks to her preparations and excitement alike, but when she had woken to pouring rain all her optimism had evaporated.

Miserably she stared out of the window, wondering if this was the universe telling her she needn't bother, trying to spare her embarrassment as Helen surely wouldn't feel those things for her…

“Liv?” The linguist’s voice broke into her gloomy, miserable thoughts.

“Hm?” Liv looked around at last and Helen offered her a warm smile that was almost enough to cheer her up. Almost.

“Off with the fairies?” she hummed, with just a trace of teasing to her tone as she took another sip of her tea. She held the other mug out to her in a gesture of conciliation and affection.

“Well, regardless of the weather, I'm gonna have to go out,” Liv huffed, ducking her head as she made for the door. She didn't want to have to explain where she was going, but she knew she was due to pick up her order in half an hour.

“What?” Helen blinked, confused, turning around to follow.

“Just something I need to sort out,” Liv muttered, pulling her coat off the hook in the corridor. She could hardly leave the pastries to sit in the bakery. She had paid for them now and it would be plain rude not to pick them up. Perhaps a butter croissant would somehow lessen her disappointment.

“Don't you at least want your cup of tea?” the linguist expression turned from confused to almost sad. She cradled both mugs to her chest, looking a little lost. It made Liv's heart ache, she hated to disappoint her in any way, but she couldn't very well tell her about her ill-fated plans. That would invite too many questions and she wasn’t sure she was ready to face them.

“No. Rather just get it over with. Rain doesn't look like it'll let up either,” she huffed, flipping her hood up in the hopes that it might go some way to protecting her. She wasn't hopeful, but also found she didn't really care. It would be a perfect reflection on her emotional state.

“Liv, is something wrong?” Helen pressed on, clearly concerned, but Liv just shook her head as she ducked out the door.

“No. Just don't like the rain.”

—

Picking up her pastry order did very little to improve Liv’s mood. While the baked goods themselves looked and smelled amazing, the med-tech herself was soaked through to the bone as she turned back into Bakerstreet. It hadn’t been all that far but the rain was unrelenting and her coat was just not up to the constant assault. Her hair stuck to her face, her legs were freezing in her soaked jeans and even the croissant she had selected to munch on soon turned sodden and inedible, which was a terrible waste as it tasted delicious.

By the time she reached number 107, she felt about as low as could. Her date idea was ruined and all her effort for nothing, she felt dreadful physically from the wet and cold, and was beating herself up mentally for having been so short with Helen when she had left. Adding all that to the fact they were still stranded in 21st century London, all she wanted to do was curl up in bed and hide under the duvet with her pastries until things started looking up.

She opened the door to flat 4 with little enthusiasm, but as she stepped inside, she was greeted by a lovely smell in the air. If she hadn’t known any better, she would have assumed someone was making pancakes. It surely wouldn’t be the Doctor, the place would soon be on fire if it was. No, there was only one person around here that knew how to make pancakes, and lovely they were too…

After kicking off her boots at the door, the med-tech stuck her head into the kitchen and found what she had already suspected: Helen was making pancakes. Or rather, she had. They were already plated up, two plates stacked high on the kitchen table, and now, the blonde appeared to be busying herself with making hot chocolate.

Having noticed her presence in the door frame, though silently stunned as she was, the linguist looked up and offered her a welcoming smile.

“What's all this?” Liv asked cautiously.

“You seemed so down so… I thought I'd make your favourite,” Helen answered slowly, with a slight wobble of insecurity in her voice. As she gave her a quick once over, her expression turning concerned over how soaked she was, her eyes finished on the bag she was carrying, indicating that she had been busy. Her shoulders slumped. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realise you were going to-” She gave an awkward gesture at the bag and the fact that her friend hadn’t yet stepped out of the doorway seemed to only increase her insecurity. She dropped her eyes, fiddling with the two mugs on the kitchen side. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to overstep… If you're not in the mood for it, of course I-”

And just like that, Liv’s frustration was wiped away and overpowered by her guilt over how she had acted before, and how she was acting right now. Helen had made a wonderful gesture and she couldn’t allow her to think it was unwelcome.

“Oh Helen… you're just too good to be true, aren't you…” the med-tech observed with an awkward smile as she finally crossed the threshold and went to place her bag on the counter.

“I don't know about that…” the linguist smiled weakly, but her shoulders relaxed with relief.

“I do,” Liv confirmed, as she wouldn’t have her thinking otherwise.

“Yeah, well…” A hue of pink appeared on the blonde’s cheeks. She was terribly modest, not accustomed to taking compliments as the med-tech always found, and she seemed eager to move the conversation along. “Gosh, you're soaking wet… You ought to dry off,” she observed, reaching out to the collar of her coat.

“Yeah…” the brunette mumbled, momentarily overcome by her gentle gesture. As her friend peeled the collar away from her sticky skin, she ran her index finger along her chin to catch the droplets that had gathered her. Liv could have melted into the ground where she stood. The wonderful moment passed as Helen snatched her hand away, seemingly becoming self-conscious, and she turned her attention to the bag.

“What was so important that you had to go out in that weather?” she asked curiously and really, there was only one answer Liv could give.

“You,” she blurted out and her best friend looked back to her confused.

“Sorry?” She seemed sure she had misheard her but now that the med-tech had started, she felt she couldn’t stop. She had to explain herself so Helen at the very least understood how important she was to her.

“I… I had a surprise planned for you but the weather just…” Liv gave a defeated shrug as she mumbled her answer. “Guess it wasn't meant to be…” She dropped her eyes awkwardly.

“What sort of surprise?” the linguist asked, visibly surprised and the brunette gave a little huff.

“Well, you've made pancakes now…”

“Liv, tell me,” Helen insisted, growing more curious and firm. “Come on, stop sulking.”

“I'm not sulking,” Liv shot back, her mouth gaping in affront.

“Yes you are,” the blonde broke into a grin and reached out to nudge her nose. “You can be so moody, like a toddler having a strop.”

“I'm not-” the med-tech flushed, embarrassed. She couldn’t deny that she had a bit of a point. She could be rather moody… but she wasn’t about to acknowledge that.

“What's in the bag?” the linguist repeated. She could easily have reached across to check for herself but she didn’t, leaving the choice up to her best friend. “Come on, I want to know. What am I missing out on? Then maybe I'll be in a bad mood too,” she joked to try and encourage her. Her ploy was certainly working as Liv couldn’t help a little smile of her own.

“You could never be. You're such a ray of sunshine…” she observed affectionately.

“Am I?” Helen’s surprise at that was genuine and made the med-tech’s heart twinge. Her best friend’s self-esteem was not what it ought to be, and it saddened her.

“Yes,” she reaffirmed, allowing no space for debate on the matter.

The linguist’s response was both surprising and endearing as she posed cautiously:

“Then maybe the rain shouldn't matter quite so much?”

Did the rain really matter? When Liv was with Helen nothing much seemed to matter at all. The pleasure of her company was all she desired.

“I… I wanted to have a picnic in Hyde Park,” she revealed at last and pulled over the bag to present to her. “I'd gotten everything ready, I even ordered pastries at that fancy bakery but…” She gave a little sigh, even as Helen gaped at the lovely baked goods. “We can't really be doing that now… but I had to pick them up anyway…”

“A-a picnic?” The linguist’s eyes widened in surprise.

“Yeah… thought it would be nice… the weather was so nice the last couple of days…” Liv continued, trying her best not to let her annoyance get the best of her again. There was nothing to be done about it now.

“Oh Liv…” Helen smiled an emotional smile, she seemed visibly touched which offered the brunette a small measure of hope.

“Sorry…” she sighed and Helen tilted her head a little.

“What are you apologising for?” she asked and her friend gave a little shrug.

“Dunno. Just…”

Silence fell between them and in the end it was Helen who broke it.

“Well we could… you've got them now… no reason not to eat them,” she suggested cautiously, with a hopeful smile. “And the pancakes.”

“Suppose so…” Liv chuckled, giving up the last of her defences. What was she delaying for anyway? If she was perfectly honest, she was getting quite hungry too. She had been looking forward to the food so much and this wasn’t helped by the lovely smell of Helen’s cooking.

“What else did you prepare?” the blonde questioned, growing in confidence following her agreement. Her smile widened into a grin of excitement and Liv softened even more. Her excitement was simply infectious.

“It'll all go off anyway…” she admitted. “It’s just in my room.”

Peeling off her coat on the way, the med-tech went to her bedroom to fetch the picnic basket at her friend’s gentle insistence. When she returned with it, the linguist called to her from the living room where she found her spreading out a blanket on the floor.

“What are you doing?” Liv asked bewildered as she set down the basket. While the ‘what’ was actually pretty obvious, it was more the ‘why’ she was concerned with. Did she really want to sit on the floor when they could be at a table?

“We're having a picnic,” the blonde gave back, sounding utterly sure of herself as she pushed the sofa back a little for more room.

“In the middle of the living room?” the med-tech continued, a smile tugging at the edges of her mouth. There was something utterly endearing about watching her best friend at work. She was adding pillows and blankets too before turning to examine the basket.

“We can put the fire on too, it'll be cosy,” she commented. Rain continued to pound against the window panes as she looked up to her, realising that she was still in her sodden clothes. “Get changed and I'll set this up?” she suggested, as she knelt down on the blanket and pulled the basket towards herself. “I don’t want you to catch your death.”

“Alright…” Liv agreed, knowing she had a point. She didn’t have the mind to argue as excitement grabbed hold of her. They were having their date after all. While she wasn’t sure she would be brave enough to tell her of the feelings she harboured for her, she would most certainly enjoy the alone time with her. Good food and good company… She couldn’t wait and hurried her steps.

In the end the med-tech required very little time. Back in dry jeans, t-shirt and jumper, she felt more like herself. It wasn’t exactly her Sunday best but her best friend had seen her wearing all sorts so she didn’t think it mattered. If she wasn’t attracted to her now a more flattering outfit wouldn’t change that.

After a quick stop in the bathroom to towel-dry her hair a little, she returned to the living room, finding Helen and the blanket with various bits of food and drink spread around her. Liv’s heart jumped into her throat. She could only hope she would like the things she had picked out. She had taken such care to select things that she knew she liked. She was just about to announce her return when she reached the doorway but stalled. Immediately she could tell that something wasn’t right. While she couldn’t see her friend’s face, not while she was facing away from the door, she caught the sound of a soft sob.

A wave of dread crashed over Liv. What had she gotten wrong? She hadn’t even been there, she hadn’t had an opportunity to mess things up, had she? And yet, her friend’s body looked to be shaking, a hand raised to cover her mouth and muffle any sound that would pass her lips. What remained was sniffling in the silence.

“Helen… what's wrong?” Liv spoke softly, as she couldn’t watch. She had to find out what was going on and she took a tentative step inside the room as Helen jumped.

“What? Oh nothing, I-” The linguist looked around quickly, offering a weak smile, tears unmistakable in her eyes and she turned away again to wipe them. She cleared her throat, quickly carrying on: “This is just so lovely.” Her words sounded sincere and yet didn’t match up with what the med-tech was seeing.

“Then why are you upset?” she asked gently, slowly making her way over.

“I… You went to such effort…” Helen mumbled in return, letting her eyes wander across the display of food in front of her. She had found the red rose too… It had been Ron and Tony’s idea really, a hint should she chicken out of saying anything, so the blonde might at least suspect. Liv’s stomach turned but she knelt down as well. She knew she had to face the music if she wanted to get to the bottom of why the linguist was so upset.

“I'm sorry if I overstepped…” the brunette offered with a sad smile. “I just thought it would be nice… for the both of us… spend some time together that's not running away from monsters or dealing with the Doctor… I know it's a bit silly but…” She turned self-conscious, her eyes falling to her hands that fumbled with the edge of her sleeve.

“It's not silly…” Helen gave back, looking up to her at last. Her eyes were swimming with tears, a couple of stray ones making their way down her cheeks, but she didn’t look sad, that wasn’t it. Her expression was wistful more than sorrowful. A smile came to her lips and she looked happy despite her tears. “It's the most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for me.”

“It can't be,” Liv countered, feeling herself flushing. “This is nothing.” The picnic was but a small start. If she had the privilege of dating her properly, there were all manner of things she would do for her, things they could do together and places she could take her. Particularly once the TARDIS was fixed…

“It's not nothing,” Helen interjected with a little sniffle. “You got all my favourite things-”

“Well of course, this was meant for you.” The med-tech frowned, confused as to why she seemed so surprised by that fact. She had made it quite clear that this had been all about her, hadn’t she?

“No-one ever took the time to get to know me well enough to learn what those were…” the blonde whispered, visibly overcome and the penny dropped for Liv too. It was just another example of how the linguist’s past experiences had mistreated her. To think nobody had ever taken the time to treat her in such a manner… the very thought made the med-tech’s blood boil. Her friend was the most wonderful person she had ever met. She worshipped the ground she walked on and would do whatever she could to make her happy.

“I know you. Of course I pay attention,” Liv said, reaching across for her hand. “You're my best friend.” That was not all she wanted to be to her, but now seemed hardly the right time. Not when Helen was upset and all she wanted to do was make up for the failings of her life.

At that, Helen instantly retreated, pulling her hand away.

“Yeah… I guess I am,” she mumbled, sounding sadder now than she had for the entirety of the conversation, leaving Liv all the more confused and concerned. “Sorry, I- Let me get you that hot chocolate. I’m sure you’re cold still…” She made to get up but quickly the med-tech grabbed her arm to stop her.

“I’m sorry, I didn't mean to upset you,” she said quickly, colour draining from her face. She wasn’t sure where she had gone wrong but she would try to make up for it anyway.

“You haven't,” Helen mumbled, relaxing a little. “You're just… too good to be true too,” she gave her another sad smile, a couple of stray tears dripping onto her cheeks. Instinctively Liv reached out and cradled her face in her hands, catching her tears and brushing them away with unending care. Her eyes fell to her lips, even as the blonde leaned into her touch, exhaling a breath, all too grateful for her gentle attention. It felt so wonderful to caress her cheeks like this, feel the softness of her skin underneath her fingertips…

Impulsively, stupidly, Liv leaned in and kissed her with gentle yet firm pressure, tasting the salt of her tears. It was only Helen’s sharp gasp of surprise that brought back the reality of what she was doing.

Quickly the med-tech pulled back, mortified with herself.

“I- I'm sorry. I- Oh God-” she stuttered, flushing bright red. That was the last thing she should have done under the circumstances. What had possessed her?! She started rambling, anything to cover the awkwardness of the moment- “I knew I shouldn’t have listened to Ron and Tony when they insisted you- Of course you wouldn't want me to-”

Helen brought an abrupt, explosive end to her explanations, as she pulled her back towards her by the back of her head and captured her lips with her own. It was a slow, intense kiss as her fingers threaded through Liv’s damp hair and the brunette’s head started spinning. Her mind was screaming with excitement but none of that would cross her lips, not when she longed to carry on kissing her.

It was Helen who pulled back at last, seemingly shocked by her own actions. Quickly she pulled her hands away from her and clasped them against her chest.

“Sorry… I-” she stuttered, going very pale, but Liv just shook her head, her heart doing somersaults.

“Don't apologise. Please. Don't take it back. I-” she pleaded, swiftly reaching for her hands again, squeezing tightly. “Let me explain how I-”

But Helen was quicker.

“I love you,” she blurted out, then - seemingly thinking it wasn’t enough - clarified: “I'm in love with you. Oh Liv-” Tears overwhelmed her once more, as though a long carried burden was lifted, leaving her relieved but fragile. Liv pulled her into her arms without delay.

“Please stop crying. I feel exactly the same way…” she mumbled, pressing kiss after kiss into her hair. “And I was going to tell you, today… if the weather had played along,” she offered a sheepish smile, casting a quick glance to the window where the weather seemed to only be getting worse. A bolt of lightning flashed across the sky. No, they were best off staying right where they were.

“I don't need a picnic in the sun,” Helen answered once she had gathered herself a little. “Any moment, anywhere with you I-”

“Same…” Liv admitted, gently stroking her cheek. “I shouldn't have been so caught up on the weather… it was just a disappointment after bigging it all up in my head…” She ran her eyes across the picnic which, while it looked lovely, seemed utterly insignificant now. She focused on Helen once more, bringing her hands to her lips to kiss. “Really…You're the sunshine of my life…”

“Likewise.”

#doctor who #fanfiction #liv chenka #helen sinclair #big finish #femslash #liv x helen #liv/helen #fluff #useless lesbians #friends to lovers

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