#but I’ve been watching probe instead of being productive so

[the-worms-in-your-bones]

Love when they put gay people in doctor who

[popculturebuffet]

Darkwing Duck Reviews: Tiff of the Titans

Uh-Oh, Gizmoduck Comes to town! In the first of a series of reviews building up to Just Us Justice Ducks,  the dopey, arrogant, anti-charasmatic, national embarrassment heads to St. Canard to guard a super weapon from F.O.W.L. Naturally, he ends up being more of a problem for our hero than the actual bad guys. Also a look at Tad Stone’s claims the series isn’t in the same universe as Ducktales.  Full review and recap commissioned by @weirdkev27​ under the cut

This review, much like Death, Taxes and Thanos, was inevitable. I’d been planning to watch and review the first appearances of each of the justice ducks and fearsome five as my next step in watching Darkwing duck anyway, and while I’ve already got one member’s appearance in the wings anyway, I’ll get to that tomorrow or Saturday just in time for Halloween, hint hint, Kev pushed this one into the queue with a commission and I  was happy to take the side trip to see just what the Darkwing version of Gizmoduck and Steelbeak, two of my favorites in the reboot, were like originally. So welcome folks to the build to the greatest superhero team made up of ducks of all time, let’s get quackin. 

We open, here in Duckburg, where the Eggmen are breaking in. Sadly they do not have the master plan, but they are here to steel the Comarant, a super powerful land, sea and air device the military is storing there. They instead find Gizmoduck! Who makes a good first impression, being a hoaky superman parody in iron man’s costume in this continuity, but it’s a nice way to contrast to Darkwing’s batman parody with a touch of Sandman.. the pulp one not the neil gaiman one.  Sadly he doesn’t have a cool gas mask but the Darkwing Duck costume is iconic without it. 

Point is the eggmen are easily repelled, though they do get away by blasting Gizmo with a tank. The General in charge is thankful for Gizmoduck’s help, but notes the Comarant will be heading to St. Canard soon for a demonstration at the big air show, and asks that Giz go over and protect it, maybe even work with Darkwing to protect it. Though Gizmo shoots that down, and not only insults Darkwing but says he’s not sure if he’s good or bad. While the latter comment did sour me on the guy.. research bears out Darkwing has been framed once or twice, and my own experience with the pilot saw him you know breaking out of jail and basically clamming superheroes are above the law, so I COULD get why someone wouldn’t trust him, even if Giz’s attitude about it still isn’t great. So fenton quick changes behind a sign and heads off to see his old buddy Launchpad.  A quick aside before we get going this episode doesn’t so much torch Tad Stone’s retroactive claim this isn’t the same universe as Ducktales, as burn it to ashes, take a whiz on those ashes and send each separate ash on a seperate probe to the farthest reaches of space. This episode not only has a cameo by Scrooge on a billboard.. but it’s one for DUCKBURG. Where Gizmoduck is said to be from. He also knows launchpad well, and vice versa, and outright mentions McDuck Manor. the episode couldn’t be saying “this is the same universe as ducktales’ harder if Scrooge himself showed up and started ranting about a Sea Monster eating his ice cream. I do like and respect Tad Stones, but I will never like or respect this claim of his and even if HE had that idea in his head during production of the show, it’s very clear everyone else including Disney who greenlit the Darkwing Duck comics explicitly connecting the two universes, felt it was a shared universe, and there’s really no reason they can’t coexist. 

If it’s because “Well launchpad wouldn’t leave scrooge”.. besides the fact Scrooge tried to fire him MULTIPLE times, it’s not farfetched Scrooge would put him in charge of a hangar both because he trusts him.. and to get rid of him since he doesn’t like Launchpad very much. Plus Donald has to come back from his tour of duty sometime and likely could easily do Launchpad’s job as pilot, as he did in the source material. My point is there’s tons of ways to write the man out easily, and he could just as easily be doing both jobs like in the reboot. This feels like a weird, unnecessary retcon no one wanted and everyone just politely ignores, like the creators of Doug saying he and Patti didn’t end up together after High School. Which even then makes more sense than this claim, since at least there I get the creators not thinking a high school romance would last forever. That’s fair.. it’s just not something fans really wanted to hear after spending two separate series and a movie getting them together. It would be like if Girl Meets World had revealed Cory and Topanga had divorced. Yes it’d be possible since they’d broken up twice over the course of the series, but no one wanted that, why would you do that. I’m getting off topic, the point is a few breakups aside Doug and Patti clearly married eventually, and Darkwing Duck and Ducktales are in the same universe. Sometimes you just have to ignore Word of God for your own sanity.

Back at the actual episode we cut to Steelbeak’s Bowling Alley Hideout... and I do love a job that allows me to say things like that. But in a really fantastic bit Steelbeak is bowling his minions over as punishment for failure.. even though they have a valid reason but eh he’s the bad guy and he has to get his bowling average up for FOWL’s bowling team somehow. Their insurance covers evil punishment related accidents anyways, they’ll be fine. 

But yeah let’s talk about Steelbeak for a second. I honestly hadn’t seen any of the original version so I was curious.. and he’s really damn awesome. Rob Paulsen always does a great job though and is always a pleasure, but he really does a good job here and with the contrast in him: He’d seem like a dumb thug, what with his gangster accent and general cockiness and swagger.. but he backs it up with great combat and even greater planning. He’s a schemer, a fighter and damn if he isn’t fun to watch.  It also makes me love the reboot version even more. While I already loved him for being played by Jason Mantzokus, being enjoyably dim, while also still enough of a threat to be freaking cool, it’s even cooler knowing he’s still fundamentally the same character. Much like Drake he’s simply been tweaked a bit. For drake it was softening the edges since Ducktales isn’t as broad a show, and neither will the darkwing reboot i’m betting, so his ego and selfishness is sanded down considerably. For Steelbeak it’s giving him an actual origin: Instead of starting at the top of FOWL, he’s starting as a very competent but very wet behind the ears and full of himself agent, working his way up to becoming justifably full of himself like the original show. He has the same swagger and badassery, he’s just not a master planner yet and he’ll get there. Like many of the reboot characters, he’s simply an already great character given some extra depth and rounding out. I love both and can’t wait to see him again next ep and hopefully he’ll show up in the Darkwing reboot so they can go for round 2. 

So with that out of the way, Darkwing naturally interrupts, and cleans house with his gas gun, forcing Steelbeak and his crew to literally go underground into the sewers. This successfully fools drake, and Steelbeak bemoans how both Darkwing and Gizmoduck have been thwarting his plans.. until he gets a great idea; pit them against each other so he can pilfer the comerant while their too busy fighting. It’s a classic supervillain tactic, and one that works perfectly because one of them’s an egotist and a dick and the other is also that but with more style and likeability.  Back at Drake’s place, Gosalyn and Honker are watching a horror movie they clearly aren’t supposed to till Drake and launchpad come back in via their easy chairs flipping them in from Darkwing Tower which is just.. really cool. I like it. I also like that much like the Shakespeare bust in Wayne Manor, Darkwing has his own neat statue to provide acess to his lair... a tiny bronze statue of Basil from the Great Mouse Detective.. I REALLY need to fucking watch that film but it’s a nice nod. But yeah Launchpad brought them back because he feels drake could use a break while Drake refuses to stop because crime never stops and he doesn’t have time for it and your usual self destructive bollocks. It’s interrupted by a knock at the door? 

It’s Fenton! Whose stopped in to see his old buddy launchpad, who is happy to see his old friend and the two catch up, though Drake dosen’t like the interuption because Classic Drake is kind of a grumpus. Fenton naturally is here because Gizmoduck is but says he’s doing a job for the military.. which makes no sense but given Drake doesn’t know what he does and Launchpad dares to be stupid, if not nearly as stupid as his reboot version, no one questions it. When Fenton says he needs to find a hotel Launchpad, being Launchpad, invites him to stay and while Fenton watches the movie with the kids, Drake wants him gone because you know he has a secret identity to keep and a case to work on and they don’t know if they can trust him with it. It’s fair.. but since this is Drake he almost handles it with the subtly of a howitzer. But before he can try to literally throw Fenton out on his ass, a news report comes on about an attack at a local theater and both head off to take care of it.. we also get a nice moment where both react to it with the same words at the same time.  Fenton.. is actually really likeable. He’s a bit awkward, more in that he sort of barges in and makes himself comfy.. but it’s very easy to see from this and the one Ducktales episode of his i’ve seen where the utterly marvelous reboot version gets some traits from: his nervousness, his pluckness, his lack of thinking things through ocasionally when he’s not overthinking them. Fenton is charming. The issue is once he switches on the costume he goes from utterly charming to punchable REALLL quick. I’ll explain my problems with his alter ego in a sec. 

At the theater Steelbeak fakes it to look like Darkwing’s doing the bombing, if half haphazardly and leaves Darkwing with the bomb so when Gizmo shows up he thinks he’s responsible. Darkwing naturally says it wasn’t him, but Gizmo dosen’t buy it and asks if he’s so good how come he wears a mask... says the guy in a helmeted visor’s whose only defense when that’s pointed out is it came with the suit. Which yes is a joke.. but it fails to land and instead of being funny just makes Gizmo look like a hypocritical dick whose assuming someone is evil based on flimsy evidence, and what’s very obviously a setup. it makes him come off as the biggest dumbass alive instead of this world’s superman and that is annoying. More ranting about him in a minute. We do end up getting an incredibly funny bit where the two end up arguing over who gets to defuse a bomb, with both wrestling over it till Gizmoduck takes care of it and both fall into the theater. Gizmoduck tries to arrest Darkwing who ignores him and runs off.  The next day the Mallard family, including Honker naturally, watches Gizmoduck get a parade, a key to the city and other good stuff on the news while Drake sulks before turning it off. And yeah i’ve waited long enough let’s talk about this version of Gizmoduck and why he does not work. I get in theory he’s supposed to be “The Cape”, minus the cape: The big cheese that everyone looks up to and loves to Darkwing’s  dark avenger of the night, a parody of that whose also really dumb. The issue is two fold. The first is .. the classic archtypical cape type chracter has been parodied to hell and back by 2020. He’s been a monster, an asshole and as with here an idiot. And even for then a superman parody, if not in apperance or powers but in treatment, whose really dumb wasn’t very new. 

And you CAN parody a big silver age type hero: Justice League International did so well without being too overt, having most of the team either annoyed or actively hostile to Shazam/Captain Marvel. But it was done well there because well.. billy’s a very corny very earnest and likeable kid in an adult’s body. To us he’s charming and loveable. But to a bunch of actual adults he’d be offputting at best and annoying at worst. While some have been annoyed at how he was handled, I a fan of both JLI and Shazam liked it and thought it was an interesting take. Another REALLY good and REALLY hilarious take on this is from fellow superhero action comedy Danny Phantom, one of my favorites and one I need to revisit. One episode had Danny split himself in two so he could crimefight and have fun with his friends resulting in one self whose a burnt out slacker, and another whose an over the top crimefighter who says things like “you Felonious fiend!” And “This looks like a job for the vacuum cleaner!”. It’s a damn good episode. My point is it’s been better done before and since. 

What doesn’t help is the episode tries to paint it as equal, since Darkwing’s problem in part is Gizmoduck stealing his thunder.. but it doesn’t work. Darkwing is a fully fleshed out character we know and love who despite his huge ego and rampant jackassery, is a decent person whose fought hard for St. Canard, loves his daughter and most damingly... is entertainingly sickish. Gizmoduck’s dickery just makes him come off less likeable and incredibly dense, while Darkwing’s is part of his charm and, along with his ego, has backfired enough to balance it out. Gizmo just doesn’t get comeuppance for his behavior, and instead gets rewarded with a parade, a key to the city, cheerleaders and Gosalyn looking up to him just for having powers in his gadgets. And really his methods aren’t that different from dark wing: While Darkwing is secretive, a loner and uses gadgets.. Gizmoduck’s suit is basically one BIG gadget, and he refuses to see. And I get that’s probably the joke but it just. doesn’t. LAND. It just makes him insufferable. And as far as I can tell in the original show he wasn’t: he was an awkward dork we root for like in the reboot, not a gloryhogging jackass whose squandered his good will long before he gets Darkwing isn’t evil and tries working with him to the point I don’t care by the time that happens: He’s already been so obnoxious it dosen’t make up for it. Maybe later appearances are better but he’s just a chore to watch in costume here. And that’s WITHOUT comparing him to the 2017 version, one of my favorites there, one of the best animated superheroes i’ve seen in a long time, and a toughly likeable character who struggles due to his superhero identity but took it up for exactly the right reasons and wants to help people. Darkwing Gizmoduck thinks he’s the cape and an inspiration when a good guy when he’s worse than the guy he hates at times. Reboot Gizmo is an honest, decent guy who simply wants to help people and use the gizmotech as a way to do that, to help change the world for the better and save the helpless, and only clashes with Darkwing due to his ego and lack of understanding that Gizmoduck and him really aren’t that different. Finally if THIS is why Tad Stones wants them to be different universes, because this Fenton is different from the Ducktales one in personality.. then that’s on HIM. That’s on him for writing this version poorly or letting him get written so poorly and not on the fans who had no reason not to connect a dot. God this character was disappointing and hopefully when I watch more of him at work in Ducktales, he isn’t this obnoxious, nor will he hopefully be in his sequel episodes.  Thankfully moving on Darkwing gets to work, because you know he has experience, and finds Steelbeak trying to pilfer the cormorant but Captain Clueless interrupts and tries to arrest him. The two then finally fight and while it’s sadly short, it’s a fun clash and I genuinely hope the reboot has it’s own fight with them, as given how damn good they are at fight scenes, it’s bound to be even more awesome. But Steelbeak gets away, and uses the comarant’s secret weapon.. a giant fake egg that drops a giant pile of yolk to drown them. Gizmo finally realizes he’s been fighting the wrong guy but our hero's are now running out of time. Darkwing , being the actually capable one here, has Gizmo uses his propeller to beat the eggs and the two head off.. though after a funny bit where Gizmo breaks the Ratcatcher’s sidecar Darkwing lets him use his spare tier, which is huge and likely intended for the main vehicle. Good stuff.  The two get after Steelbeak and while Gizmo makes me pray for death but death won’t come we get a fun battle with Steelbeak including Steelbeak using his beak to bite down and destroy the gas gun. It’s a damn fun bit I must say. But eventually the good guys win, disable the comarant and Darkwing beats Steelbeak. The day is save, FOWL is foiled, our heroes are on shaky but better terms, and Drake and Fenton depart on good if equally shaky terms, before arguing about which of them is better. And we’re out.  Final Thoughts: This.. was a disappointingly mixed bag. Gizmoduck REALLY drug down what was otherwise a good episode with a great concept: Bringing in a hero whose stronger and more popular than Darkwing.. but mostly uses it to make Darkwing look good, which he didn’t need, and make Gizmoduck look REALLY bad, intentionally or otherwise. Steelbeak is a delight and his plan, and the egg trap, are really good, and as mentioned there are enough good set pieces to prevent this from being a terrible episode.. but as an old friend says for me time and time again...

[pumpkinofthedale]

Friends... it is now.... well over 13k words and i’m maaaaybe a little over halfway done with the first chapter.... but I am a slut for positive reinforcement.... so here is another excerpt from my cronus fic (I see you and love you)

“Seriously, if you hate it that much give it back.”

“Nope, it’s crispmass and you gave me a gift. Even if it’s the worst gift anyone’s ever given me.” His words were slurred, v’s and w’s blurring together.

You sighed, rolling your eyes and leaning back against the next step up. From this angle you could see lavender from the Christmas lights bouncing off the thin membranes of his fins. And maybe it was the alcohol, or the faint nostalgic music coming from the other room, but you couldn’t help but stare. Polished orange horns shining with little rainbows dots, a small smile on his grey lips. He was breathtakingly pretty.

“At least you gave me a present I guess. None of my other asshole friends did. Like I get most of them are gutterblood trash-”

He just had to ruin the mood, didn’t he.

“Shooshooshoosh.” You grimaced and put your finger on his lips to quiet him and he froze; Stock still, eyes wide as he stared at you like a deer in the headlights. “God, you’re so fucking pretty, but literally everything that comes out of your stupid mouth is ugly.” You snapped. “So just… shut the actual fuck up for a little while.”

His fins fluttered a little and he seemed to look everywhere except directly at you. You realized after a few moments that you still had your finger on him and removed it, but didn’t look away. In the dim light of the room you could faintly see a violet flush tinting his cheeks, another one of those peculiar expressions on is face.

For a few minutes there was a blissful silence except for the muffled music as Cronus worried his bottom lip between his sharp teeth. “You uh... You really think I’m pretty….?” He asked after a while, finally turning to face you.

You shrugged, drinking some more eggnong. “Yeah. When you’re not being a complete and total d-bag, so uh… very infrequently. You’re kind of a douche a lot.”

He let out a soft, breathy laugh.

“But like... physically? You’ve got a lot going for you…. For an alien I guess. Not that I really know how you guys measure physical attractiveness. But by human standards… your aesthetic is immaculate.” You gave him an appraising look and his fins fluttered again. “But your vibes are rancid as fuck, dude.”

His lips curled back in a sneer showing off those perfectly even teeth, and you couldn’t help but wonder if trolls had orthodontics… Were those perfect teeth the product of genetics or did he have to wear braces as a kid. You failed to stifle a snicker at the thought.

It seemed to throw him off guard because the threat display dropped immediately.

“I don’t get it. What’s so funny?”

“Nothing, just alien braces.” You waved him off.

He gave you a quizzical look, but didn’t press you for any more details. He fell silent once more, staring down into the depths of the mug in his hands, fingers fidgeting and clenching. The Christmas music hung heavy in the air.

The snow’s coming down

I’m watching it fall

Lots of people around

Baby please come home

A pang of went through your heart and your grip on your eggnog tightened….

“So where’s this boyfriend you keep talking about?” Cronus asked. “Afraid I’d steal him away from you if he came?” He raised an eyebrow, lopsided grin growing on his face.

You swallowed, sighing and closing your eyes, trying to drown out the Christmas music through sheer force of will.

“He uh… he’s in Minnesota.”

“Gesundheit.”

A soft laugh escaped your throat. “Halfway ‘cross the country.” You explained.

“Oh shit… What’s he doing out there on crispmas?” You chanced a glance over at him, and were surprised to see his brow furrowed, head tilted… he looked… genuinely concerned.

“He lives out there… so does his family.” You were thankful when your voice didn’t crack or waver. “I was supposed to go visit him, but y’know,” You shrugged, “Life happens.”

“Shit, chief, so you’re tellin’ me,” He paused to let out a bewildered half chuckle. “You’re tellin’ me you’re in a relationship and you still ain’t getting any...?” He made an odd, but recognizably lewd gesture with his hand.

“Relationships are about more than sex, Cronus.” You mumbled, trying not to think about the fact that you were going to be very, very alone this Christmas.

“Well, yeah. I know that.” He rolled his eyes. “But like… don’t you get lonely?”

Your jaw clenched, you were simultaneously way too drunk and not drunk enough for this conversation. “Nope. Never.”

Loneliness whom? You do not know her. (If you tell yourself enough, it’ll be true. That’s how emotions work, right?)

He pursed his lips, eyes narrowing as he searched you for something.

Ah fuck, was he making an insight check? Is that what insight checks looked like? Did you roll high enough on your deception?

“Humans are fuckin’ weird as hell.” The sea-troll said after a few moments. “I just don’t get it. Like what kind of quadrant are you even in that that sort of distance makes sense? I’d say flushed but you ain’t even pailing so what’s the point of it?”

“Pailing?” What the fuck kind of bullshit….

“Sex.” Cronus opened his mouth as if to say more, but closed it with an exasperated huff instead. He definitely looked like he wanted to keep probing you (heh) for more information, but he just stared into the contents of his mug.

I’d hold back this tear

But it’s Christmas day

Baby please come home

Baby please come home

Michael Buble finally finished his pining, and were immediately assaulted by Elvis pleading with Santa to bring his baby back to him.

Fuck… you could just not catch a break tonight.

The fuckboy next to you was unusually silent, leaving you stewing in your own thoughts like some sort of asshole without distracting you. How absolutely inconsiderate of him.

Finally an overtly religious Christmas classic started playing, tacky, respectable Christmas music that wasn’t constantly reminding you that your boyfriend was halfway across the country and your family was on a different continent.

Actually... a few songs passed (which you’d begun humming along to) before Cronus spoke again.

“Why doesn’t anyone like me?”  

His voice was soft as he stared longingly into the other room, past the set of french glass doors where the rest of the party was; silhouettes of people mingling and muffled laughter. “I… I know people don’t like me, I just don’t get why. I try so, so hard… and I just can’t figure out what people want. I….” He trailed off.

You watched him for a moment, but he never stopped gazing through the glass.

“Do you want an honest answer?” Normally, you would revel in the chance to make an exhaustive list of his many flaws, but the expression on his face was so different from what you were used to, and the warmth of Bing Crosby’s voice made you pause.

And you think you may have finally figured out what Cronus was about.

He looked at you with big violet eyes, chewing on his bottom lip, then nodded.

And everything about him hit just a little too close to home.

“Well,” You took a deep breath, “I… I think I get you now. Where you’re coming from at least… because I’ve been there before. And I guess I want to help you.” And began to explain to him exactly why he was such an unlikable bastard starting with the callous way he treated his friends, blatant attempts at manipulation, his casual use of what you’re pretty sure are slurs, or at least really rude words, how there’s nothing genuine about how he presents himself, finishing on a softer note with the overwhelming amount of body spray and cologne he wore.

And to his credit, he just sat there and listened (though his fins drooped more and more with each new bullet point).

You did your best to be as constructive as possible, but the increasingly dejected look on his face left you feeling… less satisfied than how you would have imagined a moment like this would feel. When you finished, you couldn’t help but reach down and take his hand in your own, threading your fingers together.

He was cold to the touch, skin smooth besides a few thin ridges along the sides of his fingers. He stiffened for a moment before relaxing just a bit, squeezing your hand back tight enough to almost be uncomfortable.

You sat like that for a little while, hand in hand

You took another sip of your eggnog, starting to get a little sick of the taste.

Cronus’ eyes were glassy as though he was blinking back tears, and you felt kind of bad. It was definitely something that he had to hear, and you’d tried to do it as tactfully as possible… but you were very drunk, and you weren’t great with words or comforting or emotions even when you weren’t.

Fuck… you’re pretty sure you heard him sniffle a little.

“If I’m really so awful, why’d you even come over here?” His voice wavered a little, but didn’t crack, staring down into his hot toddy (that you had so painstakingly prepared and was probably delicious as hell and not at all disgusting like Cronus kept insisting).

You took a moment, breathing deeply and giving his hand a squeeze.

“Because no one deserves to be alone on Christmas.” He finally looked back at you again, violet eyes locking with your own… damn even when he was a wreck he was pretty. You wished you were half that pretty when you were having an existential crisis.

And before you even realized what you were doing, you had brought his hand to your lips to place a chaste kiss to his knuckles.

It couldn’t have lasted for more than half a second, but you had never seen anyone look so incredibly flustered in their life. His eyes went wide, almost round like egg yolks with little purple gems in them, a deep violet flush on his cheeks, fins flicking. His mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water (you would have laughed if you hadn’t been too drunk to realize the appropriateness of the analogy), but all that came out was a shaky exhale.

Cronus looked away and buried his face in his forearm, a very alien clicking sound coming from his throat, a small smile playing on his lips.

“You know I really thought we had a good black rapport…. I thought you hated me….” He mumbled after a minute with a little drunk giggle.

Well he wasn’t wrong… you definitely hated him. Or at least… you hated everything he represented. Or… you thought you did. “Well, I mean you definitely weren’t my favorite person in the world…. But hate’s a little harsh.” (To say out loud.)

He snorted. “Oh I was definitely waxin’ pitch for ya. I thought that’s why you gave me this gross drink.”

“It’s delicious, and if you keep insulting my beautiful concoction I’m gonna get mad.”

His laugh was breathy, “No, it’s legitimately disgusting as hell.” The troll chanced a glance at you, cheeks still flushed a bit, a candid, lopsided smile on his face. “’m not even pitch flirting anymore, this is the worst thing I’ve ever put in my mouth.”

[tsarinastorm]

Season 7-Adam Sackler/Reader-Chapter 4

Chapter 1    Chapter 2     Chapter 3

Updated*

You hear Adam come in your apartment. You had loaned him a key with the condition that he not abuse the privilege. The foods you had set up for the night were on the table, along with the drinks, both alcoholic and non-alcoholic. You just needed to change into a different outfit then you’d be ready. This would your first time around Hannah as a couple, or whatever you were, but you had agreed to no PDA, or anything that might hint at you two being together. It was easier that way as opposed to opening yourselves up to all that drama while you were still figuring out your relationship. Before you turn to go change your clothes, you feel large hands wrap around your waist and pull you back into a warm, hard chest. Adam speaks directly in your ear before giving you kisses down your face and neck, “I missed you, Y/N. And guess what? I got a call back!”

“That’s great! I’m so proud of you!” You angle your face to the side so you can give him a big kiss. The kiss gets steamy as his tongue swipes your bottom lip seeking entry into your mouth. When you gasp, his tongue explores your mouth, and his hands move up to caresses your breasts. He squeezes them and you press into him. Then you remember the time, so you pull away telling him, “We don’t have time. They’ll be here any minute and I need to get ready. Don’t forget: no PDA tonight.”

               He growls and lets out an exaggerated groan. He smacks your ass and retreats as you slip into different clothes. You barely have your clothes back on when you hear them buzz your apartment.  First, it’s Ray, and Adam’s already let him in. You speak to Ray, and then Marnie and Hannah with Grover in tow arrive.

“Hey, friend. I feel like I haven’t seen you in so long, I miss you.” Hannah tells you as she sets Grover down and hands him a toy.

“I’ve been super busy and it’s been hard to keep up,” you respond, hoping that she won’t probe into what you’ve been doing. You have been working on your book. Some. It was true that you had been super busy: fucking Adam on every surface of both of your apartments. While you’re mentally recounting your past few weeks, Marnie pulls you aside to talk.

“Okay, so you’re still single right?”

“I mean, yeah, I’m seeing someone but I’m too busy for a relationship right now.” You try not to cringe when you understand why she’s asking, Marnie is unfazed as she continues, “I know this great guy, who I think you would be really compatible with. I gave him your number, but you have no obligation to text back or anything.”

“Thanks for thinking of me. I guess we’ll see.” You say awkwardly and when you see Adam, you notice he’s a few feet away from Marnie and he’s heard the whole conversation. You try to smile at him but he makes a silly, grimaced face at you. If you weren’t in for a punishment for making it no PDA tonight, now you definitely were. Everyone grabs their food and heads over to your sofa and loveseat to watch the production.

               Adam sits next to you on the loveseat and the production starts. You’re mesmerized by Adam’s performance, he is very talented, and you tell him that. Hannah and Ray also compliment his acting, but he gets uncomfortable and doesn’t pay attention because he can’t watch himself act. You pull a blanket over your lap because your legs are cold, but it doesn’t take long for Adam to be underneath the blanket as well.

               Your concentration is jolted from the TV as you feel Adam’s hand move up your thigh gently squeezing his way up. Then the heel of his palm starts rubbing against your core and you have to bite your lip to keep a moan from slipping out. You give Adam a glare, hoping to make him stop, but he smiles gently at you then his hands reaches inside your pants, and dips down into your folds.  You try to lock your thighs together, because he cannot be doing this to you right now, but his hand continues and gently pushes your legs apart. Now you’re sitting next to him, covered by a blanket with one knee up so it hides what’s going on while your leg is laying across his lap. His fingers press on your clit drawing circles, then stroking up and down. It feels so good, you know you’re going to come in front a room of people. You shoot him a pitiful look begging for mercy, but he shakes his head and his hands add pressure and move at a faster pace. You can feel the coil in your stomach and you can feel the wave of your orgasm building and you cover your mouth with your hand to keep yourself from vocalizing your pleasure. The wave of your climax hits, making your toes curl and your head roll back on your neck. Once you come down from your high, you look over at Adam who is intently watching the production, with a smug smile on his face, but thank God no one else was watching you.

               You decide that Adam’s going to pay for that. Your hand palms his crotch and keeps moving as you feel him harden underneath his jeans. You keep the pressure steady as he tilts his hips in a way to mimic a thrust without being obvious. Your fingers quickly find the buttons of his jeans, then sink into his briefs, pulling out his hard cock. You wrap your hand around his shaft and start to stroke him, watching him hold himself together when he’s really about to fall apart. You ease your grasp to only lightly stroke him, then he suddenly removes your hand, stands up, and shuffles off. You tell the group that you’ll be right back that you’re going to check on something, and follow after him. As you open the bathroom door, Adam is pressing your back into the door, kissing your neck and grinding his cock into you. You almost succumb to him right there, then you remember how he just tormented you, so he push him away and pull his cock out.

               “Now, just what were you going to do in here without me? Were you going to touch yourself in here?” You say smearing the bead of precum around his tip. Your hand strokes him and he holds onto the sink before his darkened eyes lock onto yours, “Yes, Y/N. See what you’ve done to me? What are you going to do to my big cock?”

“Hmm, I don’t know Adam, I might just leave you in here to finish yourself off.” He starts shaking his back and forth before answering, “NO, please do something. I need to cum, please.”

               You continue stroking him, varying from soft strokes to firm as Adam starts thrusting into your hand. Then you decide that you want to be in control of this encounter.  You remove your hand and get down on your knees. Adam is about to protest when you remove your hand, then he realizes what you’re doing and breathily says, “Fuck yes. Suck my cock.”

               You lick a strip from base to tip before lightly sucking and bobbing on just the head. His hands tangle in your hair, and you take more of him in your mouth. You take as much as you can and start bobbing on his length. It’s not long before Adam’s cumming and you feel it hit your throat. You swallow it, and clean him up as he comes down from his climax. He’s looking at you like you’re magic which makes you blush, and he pulls you into a tight hug. You turn to go back out, and his hands grab your face, pulling you towards him. He gives you a sweet, deep kiss, and tells you, “I’m never letting you go, Y/N. Never.”

“Well you’re going to have to let me go before they come looking for us. You’re staying the night aren’t you?” You say as you smooth down your hair in the mirror and make sure you’re makeup isn’t noticeably smeared.

“Yeah, as long as you want me to. I can’t wait until I get you alone again.” He says as he gives you a chaste kiss on your neck as you walk out of the bathroom door. You go back into the main room, and sit down like nothing happened but you’re sure that you still look guilty.

***********************************************

               The event is bustling with people, including your agent, your editor and some others that helped you with your book. You’re wearing a spaghetti strap silver dress and black blazer with strappy heels. Your hair is pulled up in a low bun. You look around for your friends and Adam, while the latter has yet to arrive, you see Shoshanna walk in. She comes to you, eyes your outfit, and says, “This so cool and chic.  You look amazing!  Congrats, I’m happy for you!”

“Thank you! I’m glad you’re here, it means a lot to me.” You say and give her a hug. Then you see the married man you hooked up with previously walk in the door. Was he here looking for you? If not, then what was he doing here? You should already know everyone on the list tonight. You feel yourself begin to sweat and your face starts to feel hot. The man approaches, comes up to stand by Shosh and she says, “Y/N, this is Byron, my husband. Byron, this is my friend, Y/N.”

               You think you might pass out. This cannot be happening. He can’t be her husband. You could not have inadvertently had sex with your friend’s husband. God can this get any worse, you wonder but still smile and try to act calm. You won’t allow yourself to have a meltdown at your own book event, and you can’t let Shoshanna know your secret like this. Byron is staring at you with a horrified expression on his face, and you know you must look equally traumatized. Shosh must be oblivious to the drama going on right in front of her because she walks away saying, “I’m going to get some wine. You guys stay here and talk.”

               “I had no idea who you were. Shosh is a good friend.” You say as you feel the need to explain yourself. Byron quickly adds, “I didn’t know that you were her friend either. It was a drunken mistake.”

“I know, it was for me too. Are we going to tell her? I’ll follow your lead on that.” You whisper.

“It was a mistake on both our parts. It would hurt her if she found out, so can we agree to pretend that it didn’t happen?” He asks and you suddenly feel like you want to run away as far as humanly possible. Instead, you agree with him, it probably would be best to not let Shoshanna know.

“Yeah, okay.” You say and walk into another room, this one is nearly empty and much cooler, which you need for your overheated face. You grab two glasses of wine and start to down them to calm yourself down. You’re completely entranced by your own thoughts, trying to process what just happened, to the point that you don’t notice that Hannah and Marnie have walked up to check on you.

“Y/N, are you okay? Your face is red and you look really freaked out.” Hannah says and pats your back.

“Here, drink some water. What happened?” Marnie asks as she offers you a cup of water. You take a drink and put the cool glass up to your face. And you decide to tell them, maybe they could offer advice or something.

“You know that guy I hooked up with when I first came to the city? The one who I found out was recently married? It’s Shosh’s husband, Byron. I had no idea who he was, and God this is so bad.”

“Well, you didn’t know who he was when it happened, so it’s not your fault.” Hannah says in a soothing voice, trying to comfort you.

“It’s not only that. After our hookup, I found out I was pregnant. I had an abortion.” You say, apparently you’re spilling everything tonight. Marnie hugs you and says, “You did what you had to do, and you are a strong, independent woman. You’ll be okay.”

               You then tell them that you and Byron have agreed not to tell Shoshanna, because it will hurt her. Marnie and Hannah agree that that’s probably best. You’re feeling better now after finally telling somebody what happened, and you see Adam walk through the door.

***********************************

               Adam’s wearing a nice suit, and has shaved, he’s doing his best to look presentable. He knows Y/N will look amazing and he wants to impress her and look like her partner should. Damn this is fancy, he thinks as he walks in the event hall. There are a few books around, long tables, a large bar, and a lot of people dressed up schmoozing with their glasses of champagne. He feels nervous and out-of-place, but then he sees Y/N and she looks beautiful. Y/N walks up to greet him, and gives him a quick kiss. He tells her, “Wow, you look beautiful. I can’t wait to get you home.” He says the last line in a higher pitched voice right in her ear. She giggles in response, and leads him along.

               He thinks that this must be what it’s like to date a celebrity. Before they walk five feet, a man and a woman come up to talk Y/N, complimenting her on the book. This continues as they move through the room, everyone stops to talk to her, and surprisingly she knows all of their names and details of their lives. When he dated MiMi-Rose, he attended her art exhibits with her and he thought those had a lot of attention and glamour, but they were nothing compared to this. But he basks in the fact that Y/N is walking with him, and as he puts an arm around her, she wraps hers around his waist. They stop when they’re at a window overlooking the streets, he can’t help but say, “Oh these are very important people here, can’t you tell from the way they hold their glasses.”

               “Yes, they’re very important. They don’t have time to explain it to wee peasants,” she responds with her best attempt at an English accent. There’s nothing he loves more than hearing her laugh. An older, refined woman, who Y/N said was her boss’s boss comes up to them both and starts talking to Y/N again.

“So, Y/N, is this your boyfriend, or partner, whatever your generation calls it?” The woman asks and I look at Y/N, thinking that she’ll confirm that you’re in a relationship. The two of you have never really had what is this conversation, neither of you wanted labels, but he thought it was obvious what you were.

“Uh no, not boyfriend but friend” He hears Y/N say and he backs away like he just touched an open flame. He can’t hold back his feelings as he interrupts Y/N’s conversation, “Wait, we need to talk.”

Y/N excuses herself from the conversation and says, “What is wrong with you? That was rude”

“Well I thought it was rude that you just said we’re friends when you know we’re not.” Adam says without trying to hide his irritation. Could he have really read this whole situation that wrong?

“Adam, we agreed this was casual.” Y/N says in a matter-of-fact-way, and she’s watching his face to gauge his reaction. Adam can feel his anger rising and he has to fight the urge to break something.

“No we didn’t. And I thought it was obvious that this was more than casual, but I guess it’s just not the same to you! Why are you still holding back from me?!” He screams and he’s glad that everyone else in the room is too consumed by their own lives to notice.

“Why am I holding back? It is called self-preservation, have you seen your relationship track record? You go back and forth between women like it’s nothing. You’re with Hannah then you’re not with Hannah and you move on with some other woman, and then you’re with Jessa. And how can I know that you won’t leave me for whoever else walks by!” She yells but keeps her voice from getting too loud, clearly in an effort to keep from drawing attention to their argument.

“If that’s really how you feel I don’t know why we’re even doing this!” He yells back then walks away. He needs to get out of here to process what just happened and to figure out what to do next. Adam is too angry to think straight, how did he let that situation get out of hand, why couldn’t he see that she was keeping him at arms-length for a reason? If he wanted her back, he’d have to show her that he’s changed.

*******************************************************

You’re walking home alone, you can’t believe you and Adam fought like that. You regretted what you told him but you also know that’s really how you feel. You care deeply for him but you’re still terrified that you’ll end up hurt in this relationship. Though it’s hard to imagine anything hurting worse than how you felt when he walked away. You get open the door to your apartment, throwing your bag, and shoes down near the door. Then you hear a buzz come through your apartment, and the voice is Adam’s, “Will you let me in?”

“Yeah,” you say, thinking that he’s probably here to formally end things or continue your argument from earlier. You wait nervously in your foyer, until you hear him outside your door. You open the door and see him waiting on the other side. He’s speaking before you get the chance to figure out what you’re going to say to him.

“Look, Y/N, I don’t want to just be your friend, and I don’t want to just fuck you either. I want it all with you, you’re all I can think about. I’m crazy about you. If you can look at me and say that you don’t feel the same way then I’ll leave you alone.” He tells you and looks hopeful.

“I’m all-in, if you’re all-in.” You say back to him, and then his hands are on both sides of your face pulling you to him. His lips are like a soft, velvet on yours and the two of you devour each other, and are so close to each other that you would merge into one person if that was possible. You leave a trail of clothes strung through your apartment leading to your bedroom. Soon you’re both in your underwear and he’s carrying you to the bed, before throwing you down. He looks at you with hungry eyes.

“How do you want it?” He asks as he crawls on top of you and strokes your core through your underwear. You’re already slick, and you don’t think you want foreplay you just want to feel him inside you. He pulls your underwear off, and starts to rub along your clit, making you buck your hips. You pull his briefs down, wrap your hand around his cock, and look him straight in the eyes saying, “Wreck me. Fucking ruin me for anyone else. How do you want me?”

“I want to fuck you on every surface of this apartment and fuck you so hard you can’t walk for days. I want you to feel the phantom of my cock inside you, I want to fill you with my cum so it’s dripping out of you. I’m going to fuck you better than anyone ever has, or ever will.” His irises are blacked out with lust as he trails kisses down your body, but you pull him back up and line up his cock to your entrance.

“I want to make you beg for me, then I want to make you cum harder than you have ever cum before. I want to fuck you so good that your cock will twitch just hearing my voice.” You say back and that’s all it takes for him to enter you in one quick thrust. You both moan as he sheaths himself within you, then he grabs your legs and put them up on his shoulders. You lift your hips to make the angle better and he starts thrusting into you again. He drives into you so hard the headboard shakes against the wall. Then his hips start rocking into yours and damn that feels good.

“Keep doing that.” Your legs come down from his shoulders and press into his chest as his hips move at a steady pace. You sneak your hand down to touch your clit, but Adam slaps your hand away replacing it with his, “Mine.”

               His fingers find your clit and start rubbing circles at a rapid rate. Your orgasm sneaks up on you and you feel yourself shake and your head rolls back. You can feel the throb swing through your cunt. You’re still tingling from your high as you feel Adam roll you over to lay on your stomach. He pulls your hips up but you’re too disorientated from your orgasm to sit up on your hands. He drives into you with reckless abandon with your ass in the air and your face on the sheets. Then you can feel his cock nudging your g-spot and another orgasm is building. All you can do is whimper in response as you feel yourself clench around him again. “I’m gonna cum” you hear him say as his fills you again. He rocks through his climax then lays down next to you, and wraps his arms around you.

               Once you’re able to function again you curl into him with your head on his chest and legs intertwined with his as one of his hands runs through your hair and down your arm while the other laces with yours. He presses a kiss to the top of your head and hums contently before you quickly get up.

”Y/N, where are you going? Please don’t leave me.” You hear him whine as you tread towards the bathroom. No way are you going to let him give you an UTI. “Y/N, come back. I miss you already.”

               After you’ve finished your business, you run and jump back into the bed. You bounce and Adam grabs you while he laughs. The two of you snuggle into your bed and it’s not long before sleep overtakes both of you.

@og-selene @misskitred @shesakillerkween @klauscarolove @annepamgkrth

[sablelab]

Covert Operations - Chapter 68

DISCLAIMER: This is a modern AU crossover story with Outlander and La Femme Nikita. LFN and its characters do not belong to me nor do those from Outlander.

SYNOPSIS:  As they are jogging in the park, Karen asks very probing questions eliciting information from Claire.  When Karen takes a fall, she rests while Claire explores some market stalls and witnesses some things that are puzzling and also tragic.

*For reading my story, for hitting the like heart, for taking the time to write a comment and for reblogging my story over the past week then THANK YOU so much.  I really do appreciate it immensely.

 Previous chapters can be found … https://sablelab.tumblr.com/covertoperations

CHAPTER 68

 Claire Beauchamp could have quite easily had a good lie in daydreaming about what a wonderful lover James Fraser was, but seeing that he’d already left the apartment, and had asked her to meet him specifically in the park, she decided that it was best to keep her normal jogging routine with her neighbour. It was already prearranged between the two women anyway, for just as Karen Yee was leaving last night, she’d asked if Claire still wanted to go jogging in the morning.

She remembered that her friend had cast a quick glance towards were Jamie was sitting, then back at her.  Karen had a questioning look on her face especially knowing that she had company. No doubt this was an attempt to ascertain if her male companion might be staying the night.  If so, then Karen was giving her an out to cancel their weekly jogging session together if something better came up ... that something or someone being her male friend ... James Fraser.  

It was highly probable that Jamie too had made plans to rendezvous where the two friends always jogged to have a chance meeting with her neighbour again. More than likely, it was because of these ulterior motives that he suggested to meet him in the park of all places.  Jamie was skeptical of her relationship with Karen, and another chance meeting with her would give him more information with which to ascertain her true motives.  It would also allow her to see if Jamie’s concerns were warranted.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Lost in thought and locking the door behind her, Claire stepped out of her apartment ready to go jogging with her neighbour Karen Yee.  Dressed in her exercise sportswear of sweatpants and crop top, she stopped to adjust her Fitbit on her wrist.  With her hair pulled back in a pony tail, she looked refreshed and vibrant after her invigorating shower despite the little aches in her body.  She’d also consumed a hearty breakfast which had curbed the stomach rumbles and alleviated her ravenous appetite. Claire had decided to tell Karen to make sure it was a leisurely jog and not too strenuous given that she had a full stomach, but she’d been ravenous this morning particularly as they had not had any dinner last night.

Walking to the apartment opposite hers, Claire was just about to knock on her jogging partner’s door, when Karen, dressed in similar running gear, poked her head out of her apartment at the same time. She looked up at her friendly neighbour with a smile on her face.

“Good morning.” “Karen.”

She gave Claire the once over and with tongue in cheek stated, “So Beauchamp ... I guess we are still going jogging.”

“Yep ... That’s why I’m dressed for jogging with my personal trainer,” Claire replied equally as ironical emphasizing the personal trainer remark and doing some quick little jogs up and down on the spot.

Karen laughed. “Well ... It’s a lovely day to get in some aerobic exercise, and what better place than the park.”

“Can we do a slow jog though ... I had a rather ...”

“Heavy night?” Karen interrupted with inflection in her words and a raised eyebrow.

Claire looked at her friend with a perplexed look on her face then quickly replied realising what she was insinuating.  “No! ...  A hearty breakfast.”

“Oh? ... So? ... No dinner?” Karen stated with a wry grin and double meaning behind her words.

“Something like that ...” Claire replied while a rosy blush suddenly warmed her cheeks at the look Karen was giving her.

“Oh ... Do tell Claire...”

“Nothing to tell.”

“If you say so ...” Then after a short pause and another pointed look at Claire, Karen asked, “Are you ready to go?” “Sure ... You?” “Yeah ... Come on. Let’s go before it gets too busy,” Karen answered as she tossed her morning paper in her doorway and shut the door behind her.  Linking arms with Claire, the two women then headed towards the elevator. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

On entering Victoria Park, Claire and Karen passed by the imposing statue of Queen Victoria, after whom the park was named at the main entrance on Causeway Road. This place was an oasis of calm, peace, tranquillity and space amidst the hustle and bustle, and teeming non-stop moving metropolis of Hong Kong.  The park offered a welcome respite to its citizens to appreciate nature, relax and enjoy the environs and what they offered. As the two women jogged along the jogging track and through the park, they passed by groups of people near a large fountain practising the slow motion peaceful, unified movements and choreography of Tai Chi. They jogged up and down on the spot for a short while as they marvelled at the many elderly Chinese men and women partaking in the martial arts discipline before continuing their run.  

As they ran side by side down a tree lined area, they talked. “So Claire ... did you enjoy yourself at The Triangle the other night?” “Yeah ... It was wonderful.  I had a great time.” “What did you think of my guy Andy?” “He was very nice. Cute too.” “Hmm ... I think so ...” Giving Claire a side grin Karen added, “He stayed last night and went for a run earlier ... we might bump into him while we’re out jogging.” “Better keep our eyes peeled then.”  Claire replied glancing around her but she failed to see anyone who resembled Karen’s male friend Andrew Ma.

“Hey! What about that Jamie guy? Is he your boyfriend?” Karen asked in a nonchalant way so as not to appear to be too intrusive, but merely somewhat inquisitive. “No ... he’s just a friend that’s all.” “You two looked so good together. Are you sure that’s all he is? ... It seemed a lot more to me.” Karen asked pressing for more information than Claire was willing to give and knowing that she was holding something back from her.

Claire laughed replying, “No, like I said before, nothing to tell.”

“Is he staying in Hong Kong for long?”

“No, he’s gone to Shanghai.”

“Oh.” Karen sounded a little disappointed by this answer, but forged ahead with another question. “So, where did you two meet?” Suddenly Karen’s questions were becoming more probing and Claire remembered Jamie’s warning about her neighbour and friend. She gave her a telling look, “You’re very inquisitive today all of a sudden Karen. Why so many questions?”

“Sorry, I’m just being a nosy neighbour. Jamie seemed like a great guy. I just want you to be as happy as me.”

“Thanks Karen ... but I am happy or I will be when I get a job.” Thinking that she may have overstepped the mark a little and not wanting Claire to become overly suspicious of her questioning, Karen changed the subject. “So how about Andy getting us tickets for Saturday night?” “That was unbelievable that he was able to do so. He’s fantastic.”

“I think so.”

“I can’t wait to finally meet Jonathon Randall. What’s he like?” “I’ve met him once or twice. He’s always been nice to me.  I think he’ll like you.” “Oh? Why’s that?” Claire queried looking at Karen as they jogged along. “Remember, Andy said that he likes his women tall and brunette ... and hello Claire ... that’s you!” Karen laughed hoping that Claire was appeased by her answer. “You don’t say ... Well maybe I’ll go as a redhead instead.” “Oh Claire you’re such a riot.” “Yeah ... don’t I know it?”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  

Jogging through the park the two friends soon came upon some craft markets set up along the lake. Vendors had their produce and merchandise including all kinds of bric-a-brac, lanterns, authentic Chinese items and masses of flowers laid out on tables in the sunshine. The market was bustling with energy, and couples and families were milling around looking over or purchasing the products on display as they strolled through the park in the beautiful sunny weather. 

“Oh, look Karen! Let’s go check it out.” “Sure ... Why not.” But as they jogged over towards the flea market Karen fell and twisted her ankle. “Ow!” she cried out, as she lay on the ground clutching at her foot and rolling in pain. Concerned, Claire crouched down beside her watching her friend with concern. “Hey, are you okay?” “I’m all right ... but I seem to have twisted my ankle.”

 “What can I do?”

“Can you help me up? I think I’ll just sit down on the bench over there for a while,” she answered as Claire helped her to her feet. Placing her arm around Claire’s shoulder for support, Karen began to hobble over in the direction of the park bench.   Finally they  made their way over to the seat beside the path, and she sat down taking the weight off her swollen ankle. 

“I’ll stay with you.”

“No ... no ... you go and check out the stalls Claire ... I’ll be fine here.”

“Are you sure?” “Positive ... I’ll be okay if I rest for a while.” “All right ... I won’t be long.” “That’s okay ... I won’t be going anywhere in a hurry. Take your time,” Karen replied placing her injured foot up onto the bench seat and leaning back against the wooden frame.

“Thanks. I’ll be back before you miss me. Rest up that ankle.” 

“I will. Have fun.” *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Making her way over to the stalls, Claire started to casually look around the flea market.  Hoping that she might find something for her watch and sunglasses collection, she went searching for some bargains. She’d loved the night stalls in Patpong where Jamie had bought her the Franck Muller watch that was so precious to her and this time, she would be happy to find a quirky pair of sunglasses that she liked.  However, before she ventured any further along the many stalls, Claire stopped and turned to see if Karen was okay sitting on the park bench.  If she walked any further down the hill, she would lose sight of her friend and Claire was still a little worried about her. Waving at her, she noticed that Karen had decided to elevate her foot on the bench which was a good move to relieve the pressure of a sore ankle. However, an injury like this really needed to be bandaged, and if she saw some bandages, Claire decided that she would buy them and bind Karen’s ankle for support when she returned.

Karen Yee saw her friend waving at her and waved back, but soon lost sight of Claire as she mingled in with the crowd.  However, once Claire Beauchamp was out of sight, Karen lowered her foot to the ground and taking out her cell phone, quickly dialled a number. With a grimace of frustration, she placed the phone to her ear and waited for the connection. When it came, she tersely asked, “Where the hell are you? She’s at the market.”

“Okay ... I’m in position.” ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* The flea market reminded Claire of the night markets she’d seen in Thailand except that today there were many original art and craft items for sale. She was having fun checking out all the bargains on display and got caught up in the moment. Walking along the row of stalls, Claire stopped at one that particularly caught her eye where she saw some curios for sale. Examining the ornaments, she decided to ask the price. She began to haggle over the cost and tried to barter with the seller, but since the price for the item was still too high, she declined to buy. She then walked over to another stall selling art work. As she was examining the paintings, Claire happened to casually glance up and saw a familiar face ahead. Stopping in her tracks, she took a double take thinking that her eyes were deceiving her. No! ... It couldn’t be! But ... it was... It was Jamie. He was back. Claire raised her hand to wave at him, but he obviously hadn’t seen her either, so she decided to follow him at a discrete distance to see where he was going. Although it had only been a couple of hours since she had seen him, Jamie looked wonderful and oh, so sexy wearing his dark sunglasses and all dressed in black with his auburn hair glistening in the sunshine. Claire felt a little quiver of awareness in her stomach, she smiled and swallowed the breath she was holding at seeing him this morning.  She couldn’t take her eyes from his body and was a little spellbound just admiring this gorgeous specimen of manhood.  James Fraser was a commanding figure, but today he looked relaxed and carefree eating pretzels as he too mingled amongst the crowd in the park.

God, he’s a gorgeous looking man. It was strange but wonderful at the same time to see him as if he didn’t have a care in the world. Perhaps he was thinking about last night. She had done nothing else but think of what had happened, and if she hadn’t have said yes to Karen last night on going on their planned jogging session this morning, then she may have spent the day at home daydreaming and waiting for their rendezvous here at the park. 

Claire watched Jamie walk away and waited until he was some distance ahead but still in eye sight and then followed him, but she hid behind a tree when he stopped and dumped the finished pretzel bag in a rubbish bin. She watched as he continued to walk around the park before taking a seat on a park bench. Nonchalantly looking around, he surveyed the surrounds as if he was just a casual people observer.  However, Claire knew Jamie was always Section alert to any anomalies and she wondered if this was where she would meet him.  She checked her watch but it was more than an hour before their rendezvous time.  It was not like James Fraser to casually just sit and wait.  He was always punctual and if he said 11 o’clock, then he would meet her at that very time.  

There were plenty of reasons why he was at the park early, and she wracked her brain with some scenarios that were puzzling.

Jamie had said that he would meet her in the park, but not exactly the location where the meeting would take place. It wasn’t even 11 o’clock yet, so, was it here that he would meet her and was that why he was waiting on the park bench because he was early? Perhaps he was just filling in time until they met up or perhaps his time at Section was cut shorter than he’d expected? Was it really her or someone else connected with Section that he was waiting for?  Could it be associated with the phone call this morning?  Was that the only explanation?

However, it was soon became apparent to Claire that he was waiting for someone else.  

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

She was just about to reveal herself and confront Jamie, when she looked up and saw a beautiful Caucasian woman approach him. When she saw Jamie give the woman a warm hug in greeting, Claire felt some jealously at his familiar embrace, and swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat. She watched enthralled but inquisitive as to whom this person was and how Jamie knew her. Having never seen this woman before, curiosity was eating away at her. 

Who was she? Who was this woman? How did he know her? Was she one of Jamie’s informants or just a female friend? From her vantage point, Claire could tell by the woman’s body language that it appeared that she was not happy and was upset about something. She seemed a little nervous too and anxiously looked around several times, but Jamie comforted her and placed his arm around her shoulder which seemed to reassure her. Claire meanwhile took the opportunity to move a little further forward when they were distracted and stood behind a large tree trunk where she couldn’t be detected but still see what was happening. She was closer than before and tried to overhear what they were saying, however, the two spoke quietly and exchanged only a few words. Claire tried to hear what they were talking about but it was impossible to make out their conversation. She also tried to lip read what they were saying to each other in an effort to make out some of their exchange.  Unfortunately, it too was futile, so Claire had to be content with watching their body language and trying to decipher what was going on. Her curiosity, nonetheless, was getting the better of her and she was intrigued as to what they were saying. Her mind was musing over the possible scenarios that might involve James Fraser and this attractive woman. She wondered what they were talking about, but surely Jamie would inform her later and debrief her as to what he was discussing with the mystery woman. Was this woman an operative that Jamie knew from the past? If so, did he train her? Had she been his material? Was his concern for her purely professional?

Many more questions ate away at her thoughts. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* “Jamie ... It was a mistake to come here.” “Why?” “I think I’m being watched. I may have been compromised.” Surreptitiously his keen eyes glanced around the immediate area and he saw three men talking but they moved off in different directions. In the near distance, two elderly men sat, playing a game of chess at one of the picnic tables. Beyond that, on another bench in the park, a family were watching their child play while a young man on a Moped buzzed by a few feet in front of them. Jamie also noticed a couple holding hands and kissing on a bench nearby but he saw no one who appeared to be tailing the woman. “Are ye sure?” She hesitated for a while before continuing, “No ... it’s just a gut feeling.” “Do ye want me to bring ye back in?” “No ... although you've got to bring me back in soon enough.” “I’ll speak to Operations.” “Thank you.” “Do ye have something hard on Inspector Ng? If not then there's nothing more to discuss.” “Here take this,” she replied handing him a disk. “What's this?” “Take it to Comm. ... Fergus will pull off the specifics. There’s still much more to learn about him.” “Is there anything else?” “No ... I’ve told you all I know. Everything else is on the disk.” “Thank ye.” “Be careful Jamie. He’s dangerous ... and ruthless.” “We will.” ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~ Their meeting was brief. The woman looked around once more before Jamie escorted her back towards her car. Observing from a distance, Claire followed close behind once they had turned their backs to her. Jamie took the woman’s arm and they walked towards the park’s exit where several cars were parked in the car park. When they arrived at the parking bay where her car was located, they turned to face one another. Jamie kissed the woman goodbye on each cheek, then opened her car door and ushered her into the driver’s seat, before closing the door after her. Claire watched the scene taking place and was unable to tear her eyes away from what was happening. Once the woman was in her car, Jamie said goodbye and turned to walk away. Creeping back behind her observation position, Claire watched as he left. The woman settled into her car then turned over the ignition to start the vehicle. Distracted by her thoughts of what Jamie was doing here in Victoria Park and why, Claire was startled when she heard a loud explosion rock the tranquillity of the area. Looking back towards the car park she saw the Caucasian woman’s car burst into flames. People started to scream and came rushing to where the explosion had taken place. Mingling in with the crowd, James Fraser glanced behind him and saw the exploding car too. The detonation was just as unexpected to him as it was to those gathered in the park. He looked around as people came rushing past him to check out what had just happened in the peaceful environs of the park. Jamie, though, moved in the opposite direction casually walking away from the scene as if nothing had happened. Nonetheless, he knew that something serious had just happened that would and could have far reaching ramifications. A shocked look of disbelief crossed Claire’s face at what had just occurred as well. She was more perplexed than before. Why did Jamie talk to the woman? Who was she? Why was she killed? And more importantly ... by whom? ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Claire began to jog away from the scene but as she did so a man who was jogging in the other direction bumped into her causing her to lose her balance and nearly fall. “Oh ... I’m so sorry,” he apologised reaching out his hand to steady her. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?” “No ... I’m fine,” she replied righting herself and looking at the handsome man out of the corner of her eye. “Can I buy you a drink and apologise for my clumsiness?” He asked as a way of saying sorry. “Thanks, but that’s not necessary. I’m just about to meet up with my friend.” Claire tried to go around him, but he stepped into her path, blocking her from continuing on her run. “Are you sure I can’t buy you a drink?” He insisted flirting with her. “Positive ... Excuse me but my friend is waiting.” “Can’t blame a guy for trying ...” he replied with a smile, letting her leave voluntarily. “Goodbye ... enjoy your run.” Before jogging off, he watched Claire move away and when she was some distance ahead, he flipped open his cell phone. “She’s on her way back.” “Good ... Meet us at the rendezvous spot.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* to be continued

[mst3kproject]

Kronos

This movie has lots to offer, including but not limited to Jeff Morrow from This Island Earth, John Emery from Rocketship XM, Morris Ankrum from Beginning of the End, and a stupid cartoon robot.  These star in a movie with a complex plot and a lot to say, and nothing like the talent required to say it.  There’s also George O’Hanlon, who was best-known as the voice of George Jetson, although you don’t really notice it in the character he plays here.

After the opening credits play over Ominous Fifties March Music that I’m sure I’ve heard in some other movie before, we begin with some guy getting zapped by a flying saucer at the side of the road.  Rather than being abducted and probed, however, he is instead taken over by alien control and drives to a government lab, where he passes the alien influence on to director Dr. Eliot and then immediately drops dead.

Not far away, a couple of nerds named Les and Arnie are playing with their building-spanning supercomputer SUSIE (Synchro Unifying Sinometric Integrating Equitensor – and why, no, that doesn’t make sense) when they notice what they think is an asteroid on its way to collide with the Earth!  The government launches some stock-footage nukes to destroy it, but they only make it mad. It lands in the ocean off the coast of Mexico, and Les and Arnie, with Les’ girlfriend Vera, rush to investigate. There they find a giant robot stomping out of the sea, devouring energy and growing bigger and bigger!

There’s all sorts of riffable stuff in Kronos.  The first actual shot in the movie after the credits is a blinking cartoon flying saucer zipping across a starfield, to the accompaniment of theremin music.  There’s the fact that none of the scientists seem to notice that their ‘asteroid’ is oddly UFO-shaped and has blinking lights on it. The Mexican couple the scientists are staying with on the beach don’t seem to speak any English and I find myself imagining that they have no idea who these white guys are or why they’re in their house.  The actors in the helicopter that is definitely flying in the air and not sitting on a soundstage somewhere.

And the robot.  Dear lord, the robot.  It looks like a five-year-old’s destroy-bot built out of old-fashioned wooden blocks.  There’s an inaccurate drawing in a newspaper that’s much more impressive than the robot itself… I think it was probably concept art that never quite made it to the screen. It walks by raising two legs at a time straight up and then putting them straight down again, which looks astoundingly stupid even as a cartoon and makes an amusing squeaky-dog-toy sound.

At the same time, a couple of the things they do with the robot are kind of neat.  I do like that it’s not humanoid.  If you really squint you can see it as having a head and a body, but even if that’s the case the form has been stripped down to the barest, most symbolic essentials.  It makes the thing seem more alien, and I like the way it pulls its ‘head’ and ‘legs’ in like a turtle to brace for attack.  There’s also some shots, when the characters are supposedly flying around it in a helicopter, that actually do make it look huge – but it still looks small, as if it’s a tiny toy blown up to building size, like something out of Ant-Man or Honey I Shrunk the Kids.  Since it’s a device that transforms energy into its own mass, maybe it was originally very small.

There are several things that go on at once in Kronos.  Most of the time we’re watching Les, Arnie, and Vera in Mexico, wandering around watching with somber expressions as the robot destroys stuff.  Every so often, though, we cut back to Dr. Eliot, who is in a hospital with the alien influence still controlling him.  Episodes of electroshock therapy intermittently bring him back to himself, allowing him to try to warn the world, but soon the alien takes over again.  As well as controlling Dr. Eliot, it is controlling Kronos, directing it to power plants and nuclear stockpiles.  During a moment of lucidity, Eliot explains to Les that the robot was built by a civilization that is almost out of power, and has therefore sent these things across the cosmos to collect more.

Now, to an astrophysicist this really wouldn’t make sense – the most powerful objects in the universe are things like black holes. Harness even a small one of those, and you’d never need to worry about running out of energy again.  But this movie isn’t about practicalities, it’s about energy use.  The beings who created Kronos are suffering from an energy crisis that may lead to their own extinction, and Dr. Eliot warns Les that humanity may someday end up the same way.

The movie isn’t subtle about this moral: it’s spoken blatantly by the character best placed to understand it.  It would have been nice to see the movie go into it a little more, discussing some of the ways in which our own civilization wastes energy. Instead, the characters spent much of their time roughing it in a shack on the beach in Mexico.  Another way to make the point would be to give the possessed Dr. Eliot a fixation on conserving energy, or conversely, by consuming it, for example by having all the lights on even when he’s sleeping.  This is not done, either.

Slightly more gentle is the point about what humans do with the energy we produce: we destroy stuff, primarily by building atom bombs.  In the world of the movie, this has two undesirable side effects.  First of all, it makes us easy prey for Kronos: the possessed Dr. Eliot recommends to the government that they nuke the robot, but it just turns that energy back into mass and heads north for the nuclear stockpile at Hueneme.  Second, it means that we may also destroy ourselves by too much energy instead of by too little.

This point is rather undercut by the ending, in which the scientists manage to ‘reverse the polarity’ in the robot so that all the mass it has built up turns back into energy… right in the middle of Los Angeles.  By now Kronos has devoured half the power plants in Mexico and a literal nuclear explosion, so shouldn’t that have burned California to a crisp?  Maybe they only had one stock footage nuclear explosion and didn’t want to use it twice.

The vital clue to defeating Kronos comes from Dr. Eliot, temporarily de-possessed by an electric shock.  I spent most of this movie honestly confused what the nameless alien needs with Dr. Eliot.  It gets a list of power plants from him, but since it evidently found out who and where he was without needing any Earthlings to tell it, I’m not sure why that was essential.  It also gets him to recommend nuking Kronos, but somebody would have done that sooner or later, too.  Nor am I sure why electrocution puts it to sleep and lets Dr. Eliot reassert control for a while.  If this is a creature that feeds on electrical energy, as Eliot himself says, shouldn’t zapping it make it stronger?

The scene in which the alien leaves Dr. Eliot’s body is also rather strange.  He falls on the floor, and a liquid seems to run out of his head to the wall where the computer is installed, where it sparks and sizzles.  Does this mean the alien is dead?  But we close on one of those ominous moments where the characters are worrying that more robots may come.  So did it just return to the flying saucer?  What happened to that flying saucer anyway?  Is it still on the seafloor?  Still in space?  Did it transform into Kronos?

The alien in Dr. Eliot is never really justified, and is therefore a transparent plot device.  Two more things that are transparently unnecessary are Arnie and Vera. The former is comic relief who talks about how his computer is his girlfriend, and the latter is a love interest who’s there to sigh whenever Les chooses work over spending time with her. Neither of them really do anything but orbit around Les.  He needs people to interact with, obviously, but the script doesn’t allow either of them to contribute anything.  This is meant to establish that Les is a genius, but it makes it seem like he lets these people hang around out of mere indulgence.  Even the giant computer, while it does a few bits of calculating, doesn’t have nearly a big enough role to justify giving it a name.

I get the impression that the people who made Kronos had some big ideas but rushed them into production without working them through.  Much more could have been done with the themes of energy and consumption, and the characters could have been treated far better.  The robot doesn’t appear until the movie is half-over, which leaves the early scenes feeling dull and bloated.  Even so, it seems like everybody’s hearts were in it.  Fifties sci-fi movies come a lot worse than Kronos, and it would have made for a classic episode of MST3K.

I should warn you, if you want to watch this movie (and there is a version on YouTube), Dr. Eliot and his psychiatrist do discuss the idea of suicide.  This made me expect Dr. Eliot to try to kill himself in a lucid moment in order to get rid of the alien, but that never happens, so the topic was entirely gratuitous.

[shellfish-honkon]

Perfume: English Translation of the Interview on Ongaku to Hito 2018.09 (vol.4)

Vol. 4

A group interview for Perfume

Interview: Perfume

 At first, I thought the whole album would feature Future Bass, but... (Kashiyuka)

Where the hell has Future Bass gone!?  LOL!! (Nocchi)

- This is my first interview to you since "If you wanna", so I've got various things I'd like to ask other than the album.

 A: Yeah, you can ask anything!

 - First of all, let's talk about "Reframe".  That was a superb show, but at the same time, it was a kind of show that was difficult to write an article of.

 A, N, K: LOL!!

 A: We recorded the sub audio of the show the other day.  And there was a tons of stuffs we had heard for the first time there, LOL!!

 K: It was too technically advanced to understand, and we could only let the audience to grasp their impression because we didn't have MC.

 A: But I really thought it opened a new door for our performances.  I really wanted to try something like that!

 N: We hope to hold shows like that more.  We were a bit worried that we might get the audience left behind, but actually it didn't happen.

 - You also held the first fan club tour after a long time.

 K: The first fan club tour in 8 years!  That's pretty insane, isn't it?  LOL!!

 N: And there still has been people joining our fan club!  They are the ones who truly love Perfume, we really appreciate it.

 K: People joined our fan club 7 years ago had not been able to attend any fan club tour before, even a single time, LOL!

 A: So, we performed many nostalgic songs in return of their loves.

 K: Like "Take me Take me" we performed for the first time since the Budo-kan concert, "Take me Take me" performed by totally grownup 29-year-old ladies, LOL!!

 A: If 20-year-old girls sing "Take me Take me", it's kind of cute, right? You'd go like "Aha, right! I'm gonna take you!"  But when a 29-year-old is singing like "Take me Take me", it sounds pretty heavy and serious, LOL!

 K: She must have some reasons for not being taken until her age, LOL!!

 - As you grow up, the meaning of songs changes, LOL!

 A: Recalling the choreos were pretty tough, too.  Since we hadn't danced them for a long time, we felt like we were dancing them for the first time.

 K: We were so desperate, for example, we watched videos and wondering "What the hell was I doing during this part!?  It's cut and I can't see!", LOL!!

 A: However, that time we recalled old choreos was such a lovely time.  We felt as if we were facing our old selves. Being able to think like "What a lovely time this is" might probe that we have grown up.  And we also really appreciate that there're people who have wait for those songs to be performed again, since that means they love our old selves, as well as our present selves.  So, that was a very, very warm time.  No matter what we play, they gave us back the best reactions, we felt as if we were talking to our parents.

 N: That's true.  They could respond to any reminiscent talks we did.

 K: We actually asked our fans to check our old memories, LOL!!

 A: We asked them like "Didn't we do something like this and like that before?" from the stage, they shouted back like "That was ○○ you did back in 20xx!", LOL!!

 - Wow, they're like Wikipedia, LOL!!  After the performance, did you realize like "Ah, I've turned to a grownup"?

 N: I did. When we practiced our old dances, the choreos were totally different.

 K: Yeah, we actually danced in the style of that time.  When we recalled the choreos, we realized the way we used our bodies was different from now, for example.

 A: We became our young selves, yeah.

 K: And we also learnt we could no longer perform twice a day.  Our knees got wobbly, LOL!!

 A: Our knees were shaking all the time at the end of the show, LOL!!

 - I didn't want to hear episodes like that from you, LOL!!

 A: 2 shows in a day wearing that heels is tough.  "We'll never perform twice a day!", we decided it at Makuhari, LOL!

 - For me, you seem to be 21 years old forever.

 A, N, K: LOL!!!

 K: Happy to hear that, LOL!!  I wish I could stay like that!  LOL!

 - This is your first album release in 2 years and 4 months.

 A: For us, however, it was a blink of eyes.  "COSMIC EXPLORER" seems to be quite recent.

 N: We've got another masterpiece.

 - What kind of stuffs did you talk to Nakata-san at a usual dinner meeting you always hold before album production?

 K: 80% of the conversation was silly things, LOL!!

 A: For example about HIKAKIN-san (A famous Japanese youtuber), like "Did you watch his video?" and things like that, LOL!

 K: He also told us like "If you put "Mitaina Koi (A love like...)" at the beginning of a sentence, you can write a Nakata Yasutaka-ish lyric"*, LOL!!

(Translater's note: In the original text, it's actually written "at the end of a sentence" instead of "beginning".  This is due to the difference of the word orders between English and Japanese.  For example, Japanese Lyric of Polyrhythm "Plastic mitaina koi" is "A love like plastic" in English)

 N: Yeah, he also told us sometimes he starts to imagine a story from that phrase.

 - You talked things like that, and about the album at the end?

 K: Yes, briefly at the very end, LOL!!

 A: We only talked about the album for 5 minutes.  Adults around us started to exchange glances like "Ah..., shall we start discussions about the album?" while eating deserts, LOL!

 N: It was held right before the release of his solo album.  He let us listen his own album to let us know what kinds of songs were recorded.  Then he told us about what he wanted to have in our album, for example, tempos, melodies and things like that.

 - More concretely speaking?

 N: When we released "If you wanna", 3 of us were not familiar with future bass yet.  But in the global charts, music of the genre had already been acknowledged.  So he wanted us to play a future bass song to spread the genre to the world, he said.

 K: "If you wanna" was made in a basic style of future bass because he wanted to let the world know that Perfume played future bass.  But for the album, he was going to add his own arrangements to bring the music to Nakata-san's own genre, he told us.  So when we heard that, we thought the whole album would feature future bass.

 - Yeah, right?  That was what I imagined, too!  Because I heard you talking like that in the interview of "If you wanna" But then...

 A, N, K: "Huh?", right?

 A: I can understand that, LOL!!

 N: Where the hell has Future Bass gone!?  LOL!!

 K: We imagined that we would have pretty few parts for recording since we thought the album to be strongly feature future bass.  But when we were handed lyrics, we were like "What!?  We've got so many lyrics!", LOL!!

 A: We were surprised since the first song we recorded was "Tenku"

 K: We still went like "Ah, we understand, there has to be at least one song like this.  But the next song will be future bass"  But then, the next song also had so many vocal parts, so we went like "What?  What?"

 N: It was "Let Me Know"

 K: In the middle of recordings, we convinced that even though this was not what we had imagined, not all songs leaned toward that side.

 N: I really liked "FUSION", so I thought somewhere in recordings, we would receive a strong, cold kind of song with even less lyrics than that.  But actually, "FUSION" was the most aggressive song in the album.  That made me think he must have gone through so much thinking to figure out the best way to make this sound good.

 - Did his song writing go smoothly?

 A: It took times!

 N: He took more times than ever, I guess.

 K: Throughout the whole process of album production, all of the songs were a bit behind the schedule, respectively.  The last song we recorded for the album was "Future Pop", but the recording was actually postponed for 1 month.

 A: He was so obsessed about this song.

 K: Exchange like "I've finished making DEMO.  Moving onto lyrics"  "I'll make it again from scratch" was repeated again and again.  Before the recording of the song, he told us "The next song will be the title track of the album"  So, I guess he was willing to determine a direction of the whole album with this song.

 A: We visited his studio for the recording, knowing this song would be the title track.  When we received the lyrics there, the title "Future Pop" jumped out at us. Even though we didn't know a genre called future pop actually existed, we thought it must have been his message for us to name "Future Pop" for the album featuring future bass, saying we were to make a history.  We were totally fired up by that.  We felt as if it showed us a new path to move on, like "You've got to move forward with this!"  I was like "The words used for the title was familiar to us, but still sound new. He must be a genius to come up with a title like this!" and so moved.  But when I looked at him with wobbly eyes, I found messy Yasutaka Nakata, LOL!!

 - What do you mean by "messy" Yasutaka Nakata?

 A: He had "I put everything I've got into this song"-kind of look.  He said "See?  Ain't I cool?" in the back!  LOL!!

 N: He did.

 A: Yeah, he did!  LOL!! He looked like he was shining to me!

 - You felt his passion behind the title so much that he looked like that, I see.

 N: We did feel that.  We felt his enthusiasm like "Let's make a history!"  Nakata-san has confidence on what he makes.  So, I felt he named the title like this because Perfume was included in his confidence.  So I was like "Yeah, let's do this!  Let's make a history!"

 A, K: Wow, cool!!!  LOL!!

 K: I was so surprised to find that there's a word that fits as well as this.  I mean, the combination of the words was like, we could have used this combination but actually never did.  By combining these single words, we've got the title that fits as well as this and perfectly expresses what we have been doing and will be doing.  I had an exhilarating feeling when he came up with this.

 - So in a word, you felt like "Ah, this word literally explains what we do"?

 K: Yes, it fitted so well.  The combination of these 2 single words perfectly express what we want to do and what we want to express.

 - The album has many song-featured songs, but there're future bass tracks at the same time.  Setting them up as something "Pop" is what you do, you mean?

 A: Exactly.  Such a wide range of variety we've got, so.

 - "Tiny Baby" is a pretty cute song.  But its rhyming is very unique.

 K: It seems this song doesn't sing anything meaningful.  But it makes you wonder and feel fluttery that there might be a deep meaning behind the lyric.

 N: It was fun to sing.

 A: But the thing this song wanted to sing most is "I'M SO HAPPY (Japanese-English pronunciation)"

 A, N, K: LOL!

 A: We sang it like that because Nakata-san's tentative vocal he recorded for us sang it like that.

 N: I used to think like the faster bpm is, the cooler and easier to go crazy on the beat the song gets.  But nowadays, I prefer more relaxed songs like this one.

 K: The gap between "FUSION" and "Tiny Baby"!

A: Right! It even made me think like "Aha, "FUSION" might actually have been made for this!"  Don't know why, but it's so comfortable.

 K: We actually nominated this for MV.

 - MV of "Let Me Know" was very nice, too.

 - Yeah, I love that song, too.

 - The perspective of that song is totally that of the grownups.

 N: When we saw those 3 little girls, we were like "OMG, we're adults!"

 A: We really are.  In a scene of the MV, closeups of the 3 girls appears on a screen one by one and then move on to a scene of us.  When I watch that scene, I'm so surprised that we're totally adults.  Nothing surprising about it, but it makes us fully realize that. That's a happy thing for me, though. Because I always wanted to be an adult desperately.

 - That means you became mature enough to sing a song like this.

 A: Yeah, when we were handed "Baby Face", a song singing about a junior boy, it was pretty shocking to us.  But nowadays, we're totally used to it.

 K: The song makes me feel as if I'm looking back the whole history since we formed Perfume and facing my old self.  But at the same time, the song can be applied to anyone's life, I think.  The girls in the MV are a bit younger than the age of us entering Actor's School.  So, I was filled with a deep emotion like "We have been together ever since their ages..."

 N: That's touching, deeply.

 A: Yeah, and now we can sing a song like this.  "You're working hard to be somebody, so believe in yourself"

 - Nakata-san wrote a lyric like that because he felt you've grown enough to say a message like this, I guess.

 K: So happy to hear that.

 A: I'm getting close to tears and I can only say "So happy to hear that"

 - Alright, let's get back to topics of the tracks.  What do you mean by "Chou Rai Rin"?

 A: Yeah, it makes you think like that naturally.  We also thought this must have been a Chinese word when we looked at the title.  But when we asked Nakata-san about that after the recording, he just told us like "Huh? There's no meaning for this" And we went like "What the hell!? There's no meaning for this!?"

 N: Well, I also thought this must have been Chinese definitely, so I tried Chinese-ish pronunciation.  Then I was told there's no meaning for this, I was so embarrassed, LOL!!

 - Vibration of "Chou Rai Rin" sounded nice, I guess.

 K: There're some words people keep using without knowing their actual meanings, right?  Like words that sound nostalgic to adults but new to kids.  I found this song interesting because that kind of play is put in this song.

 - "Tenku" made me cry, especially the lyrics.

 N: This made me cry, too!  I'd like everyone to listen to the lyric of the 2nd verse!

 A: Yes! Because Nakata-san often writes the most important things in the 2nd verse!  LOL!!

 K: For him, 1st verses are to explain, LOL!!

 N: Therefore, I felt this is a message song for the younger generations, rather than for ourselves.

 - You mean telling like "You can fly high like we did!", rather than telling to yourselves?

 K: The world-view the song describes is so bright and shinning.  But I felt this song sings about the past to look back, rather than the future waiting ahead.

 A: It's kind of nostalgic.  I've heard Nakata-san put various old stuffs in this song, such as old materials and sounds he used to use.  That might be why it sounds nostalgic.

 K: This song is like Updating ourselves including the pas.

 - I wouldn't have been surprised if 3 of you had sung a song like this a few years ago, but I'd say it has more meanings to be sung by your present selves.

 A: That's such a straightforward song.  But I don't feel embarrassing at all when I sing this song.

 - I don't know why, but it seems you've received more songs with "Kanji (Chinese Character)" titles.

 N: I found it interesting.  LOL!!

 K: Nakata-san actually told us like "It would be funny if we name the album with Kanji after deciding this song order for the album"

 A: From the way he said so, I assumed that he might have named it in that way. "Mugen Mirai" was a pretty surprising title FYI.

 K: Nakata-san is good at going close to the border line (*of cool and dumb).  I had the same feeling when I received "Laser Beam"

 - Exactly. "Dream Fighter" was a thing like that, too

 K: But the closer you get to the border line, the bigger impact you can leave to the audiences, don't you think?

 - Yeah. But you know what?  The album does go close to the border line in various aspects, but this album means more to the people who kept watching Perfume, rather than the people who take one step to move on to a totally new world.

 N: Ah, that's exactly what I think, too!

 K: So glad to hear that!

 - This album is the proof that you've faced Perfume and each other as sincerely as that.

 A: Yeah, you're trying to make me cry, I know.

[haedraulics]

Omgggg i didn’t know you liked hannibal!!! Which is your favorite episode?

JKSKSBFK oh anon i certainly do (if my hannibal tag has anything to say on that)

and WOW asking the tough questions anon i’m going to need to slump under a rock and contemplate that question for a hot hour lmao,, my guy i’m so in deep i have some season 1 scripts memorized and dream in jim hawkinson cinematography (YELLINGg)

so i guess i have to answer What Hannibal Episode is my Favorite Hannibal Episode? now……..

it’s a 60/40 split between the pilot 1x01 Aperitif and 3x04 Aperitivo, and i get so excited and emotional just recalling the episodes that i have to seriously compartmentalize this response anon

NO SPOILERS reasons why the pilot episode is my favorite episode:

(listing only the reasons the pilot is so strong and not the series as a whole)

-i’ve watched it over 30 times. that’s over 20hrs of my life collectively taken up by a single episode of broadcast television. help me please to elaborate, i’ve made dozens of friends, including several whole classes, give this show a shot. many of whom did make it to the end, what us fannibals would call a successful ‘hannivangelizing’. and because i’m an insufferably invested fan, i usually end up rewatching with them, hence the ludicrous amount of times i’ve watched this episode LMAO

-each time i appreciate something new– and that’s a crazy huge compliment, considering i get bored of shows VERY QUICKLY LOL

-it creatively and efficiently introduces the character of will graham. plainly- will is a stupendously complicated protagonist. his empathetic abilities are unusual in the crime genre- it’s not ‘hurr morally ambiguous detective can think like the killer because he’s dark and morally ambiguous hurr’, it’s ‘deeply troubled man wants to lead a moral life but is unable to control how deeply he can FEEL like the killer’.

the fact that this is never verbally explained at length is what’s amazing. ‘show, don’t tell’-the golden rule of all dramatic production is masterfully followed in the first scene, wherein will graham reenacts a murder, deduces evidence that keys into a previously undiscovered aspect of the crime, and then cut back to him in his classroom- BRILLIANT. all that, when they could have easily put some expositional words into jack crawford’s mouth and been done with it

expanding on will graham, the writers also take care so audiences know that the protagonist is, fundamentally, a man who wants to do good. no matter how fun exploring the possibility of dark!will is, it would ultimately be untrue (and less interesting) to say that will graham is an immoral character. they do this in the most lovely way, by bringing in The Dogs (💖😭). the scene where a stressed and exhausted will graham coaxes a stray dog into his warm family of other strays comes right off the heels of a brutal, violent depiction of a teenage girl being strangled in her own bed. it’s much needed brevity, and most importantly it compels us as viewers to care about our protagonist. 

-it withholds the introduction of hannibal lecter. the show is called ‘Hannibal’ for bryan fuller’s sake- but the iconic, eponymous character is literally not even mentioned, let alone seen, until halfway into the premiere episode. lesser writers would have rushed headlong into getting as much lecter screentime as possible- after all this show was pitched on the basis of his pop culture notoriety, right? but no, the pilot patiently dedicates the first half of itself to endearing the lesser-known will graham to us, making lecter’s reveal all the more satisfying. 

-the split second reaction expressions of hannibal and will’s first meeting, which in retrospect totally sell mads’ ‘love at first sight’ comment. again, smartly, the writers let the two throw quips at each other and put down that they are… strangely, on the same wavelength? and then immediately thwart that benevolence with hannibal’s gibberish probing. 

-the hilarious editing of when the body is discovered in the field. how it intercuts between hannibal’s cooking and will’s mind building a clearer, more sympathetic profile of garett jacob hobbs by way of process of elimination. also on will’s mind- the ridiculously satisfying rehashing of ‘show don’t tell’ to illustrate the ticking of will’s mind. instead of him verbalizing the pieces coming together while staring blankly over elise nichol’s body, the camera closes into darkness and the suspended ragdoll of her body is sharply pierced by antlers. then he gets it- oh. “she was mounted on them, like hooks.” in a shaking, haunted voice. YES.

-the lovely, lovely rim lighting of their first meal together. the enigmatic line ‘the mongoose i want under the house, when the snakes slither by’ which younger me mistakenly interpreted as hannibal wishing for will’s safety, before realizing that mongooses are actually renowned snake-killers, and that hannibal has so early on recognized will’s potential as a weapon of righteousness. plus, hannibal making will genuinely crack up, and bryan fuller deciding to build an entire running visual metaphor on an otherwise throwaway line about teacups.

-and finally, the ending scene. the climactic moment. the archangel michael slaying satan. there’s so much right about this scene, and actually the wonderful @bonearenaofmyskull already has a much better punctuated analysis of it than this mess of my thoughts 😂 do check it out, it’s just brilliant. 

i have a lot more to say but most of it is incoherent so that’s all fOLks,

i could definitely also produce a rambling shamble of a post about my intense feelings towards 3x04 and how much i adore season 3 as a whole, only if you guys want more of this grammatical travesty LMAO anyway, thanks for popping by anon!!! more hannibal asks would be great please i am PARCHED

[eeveelution-escapades]

Update

TL;DR - Eeveelution Escapades will be discontinued after the first chapter. The script to the other chapters as well as the rest of the character bios will be completed, but due to lack of interest and the artist feeling overwhelmed/stressed, the comic itself will no longer be updating once the first chapter is over. --- The artist/author has a new job (!!) and has been reevaluating her time and artistic priorities.  As I’m sure the few of you on here who are not p*rnbots know, Eeveelution Escapades has a Patreon that I use to post updates a week early. So far, no one has really been interested in paying 25 cents a week to get early access, which is fine. The trouble is, I haven't gotten much of a response at all on the comic itself either. The lovely people involved have been so supportive, but other than that the comic hasn't really been going anywhere.

I'm feeling demotivated, and I've tried to fight through it, but as sad as I am to say this, I think I may have to cancel the comic after the first chapter is over. I hate to do that, but I have so many other projects that I want to work on, and there is very little overall interest in E.E. If interest increases before I finish posting the first chapter, then maybe I'll pick it back up, but right now I'm getting no response on it from anyone who is not directly involved in the comic. It's like being a street performer with no one watching your performance or throwing quarters at you. If you've been keeping up the same act for months with little to no response, you change your act, right? Eeveelution Escapades is dear to my heart, but from an artistic career perspective, isn't getting me anywhere. I'm stressing myself to finish updates every week for no reason, and that isn't productive.

SO I'm instead going to be revising my Patreon to include other weekly/biweekly/monthly awards that will hopefully be more lucrative. Besides this, I'll use the time I was putting towards Eeveelution Escapades to write a children's book that I've been wanting to write under the name Crystal Rose. I'll be posting more about Patreon ideas as they become clearer (I'm considering investing in a projector and making art tutorials and craft videos, but I'll probe for interest later.

Thank you SO much to everyone who has been supportive of me through this! I'm so sorry it has to end so prematurely, but I'll be sure to at least finish the character bios and scripts so the story gets out there!

[k-l-neidecker]

One Person’s Take on what the Infinity War Pitch Room Conversation was Like — K. L. Neidecker

One Person’s Take on what the Infinity War Pitch Room Conversation was Like

A week or so back, I finally broke down and watched Avengers: Infinity War.

It took me a long time to get around to it. I’m not sure, but I think, perhaps, I’ve seen the requisite number of superhero movies one must watch to be considered a happy and productive human in modern society. Check that box, one piece of being an American consumer fully in place, now on to the next strange trend…

Not that I hate comic book movies. In fact, I enjoy them. Just, hey, a few dozen a year is more than enough, thanks! And let’s not even mention that we are stuck with Marvel movies as DC seems to be having…trouble…making movies that don’t suck since the third movie of the Nolan Batman series.

So, considering the spoilers about Infinity War which assaulted my eyes for months, and the fact I knew what was going to happen…the supposed “big moment”…I simply felt no great rush to see it. Sure, I’d see it sooner or later, but it was way down on the the list of things to do—somewhere below a visit to the proctologist and spraying out the inside of the garbage cans.

But, hey, I figured it would be fine for a movie night.

And from minute one, I knew I made a terrible mistake, one which proves karma is a bitch and in a past life I must have been a terrible person. Maybe Attila the Hun’s third cousin twice removed, Bob the Hunnish.

I’d like to present to you my imaginings if what the pitching and brainstorming room must have been like as they planned Infinity War out.

Neon lights flicker and highlight nicotine stained drop ceiling panels. The energy is high, the air buzzing with electricity, though that could always just be the faulty wiring buried in walls which have been privy to so many great ideas in better days…

“Ok, so me and the boys have been talking,” Jim said, gesturing to a pile of sock puppets discarded in a dingy corner, button-eyes staring blankly into the distance, “and we got some ideas for the next Avengers movie.”

The writer’s room hushed in anticipation. A head writer for Iron Man 2, an artichoke heart pickled in brine, wetly rolled from its perch.

“Ok, so we open with a battle! Action is good, right? People love that stuff.”

A cricket farted in the distance, the mating call falling on dead ears.

“I mean, just some fighting, on a space ship. In space! Bunch of stuff happens. Sure, it will be confusing, and maybe some viewers will wonder, hey, did I miss an entire movie or something, because this scene feels like it’s part of some larger whole…

“And then we kill off some important characters! Yeah, baby, yeah! That will get people invested.”

A murmur of assent rippled through the room, taking the form of various belches and the whisper quiet rustle of a nostril mined for ore by a probing digit.

“Ok, and then the Hulk enters the picture, a being so powerful he’s been sent into space because of how dangerous he is to have around…but Thanos mops the floor with him. And guess what? That’s the last time we see the Hulk for the rest of the movie!” Jim leaned back and placed dirty boots on the table, grinning.

He continued, “So, no Hulk, because hell, who needs him anyway, and it fixes the plot hole where he would simply own Thanos early on, end of movie.

“Then, we add in every Marvel hero we have into the mix. So many, in fact, that they all only get five minute snippets on screen, and we just keep cutting between everyone fast enough to send a third of our viewers into epileptic fits. Thank goodness for CGI because we need a half-thousand sets to marionette these characters over.

“Thor, even though he’s been around multiple earthlings over a bunch of movies, will act dumb as hell and confused about words like ‘moron’”

Moron twitched in his sleep, the sound of his name nearly pulling him out of his comfortable dreamland.

“Also, some of the best characters in our universe, the space cadets from Gargantuans of the Galaxy or whatever it was we made a few years back, will run into Thor at random in the almost infinite reaches of the unfathomable soul sucking emptiness that is the ever expanding universe. Good timing!

“Let’s see…ah, right, Thanos just keeps winning non stop, and our heroes simply throw the same tactics at him over and over to no avail. You know, like punches and missiles and some Kung fu or some shit. Hey, the dude owned Hulk, so why wouldn’t Captain America try punching him in the gob?”

Tim, the newest writer, one not yet broken in by Marvel and not yet fitted out for his Marvel Brand Gimp Suit™, broke his silence when he could take no more. “Hey, uh, this all sounds great and all, but don’t you think—“

“No, I try not to, Tim. Thinking is the direct cause of migraines and bed wetting. Ok, so, we have wizards doing the circle things with their palms, some space folk bopping around almost disconnected from the rest of the story, Avengers not calling other Avengers even though fifty percent of the life of the entire universe hangs in the balance…damn, what else was I going to say,” Jim grasped a bong like an infant would a bottle and ripped on it before smashing it on his own head in victory.

“Right. The love story. Every great tale needs a love story: Romeo and Juliet, Ren and Stimpy, all the greats. So, we have a budding relationship between Vision and whatsherface. Let’s make the viewer care, get them invested.”

Tim nodded, “Right, that’s a solid idea man, sounds—“

Jim cut him off, “Of course, with fifty main characters and a two hour runtime, we won’t actually see any of this love or whatever. We’ll just hint at it a bit, you know. Gotta save screen time for purple ballsack, er, I mean Thanos, to wax laconically about how nice a bro he really is on the inside.”

“Hey, no, I don’t think—“ Tim stuttered.

“Good, my man, good. I think you’ll fit in here with that attitude. So, then let’s kill of all the fun characters. Let’s start with the people of color. First scene to last scene, let’s off some green folk, dissolve some Wakanda heroes, let’s go for broke.

“Again, no Hulk. Just Bruce in a CGI suit, so it’s kinda like the Hulk but suckier. You know, we wouldn’t want that actor to actually be in the movie or anything. Just CGI his ass at all times. Note to self, can we just completely CGI his likeness and not have to have an actor at all?

“Let’s have Dr. Strangelove or whatever his name is willingly hand over the one item his entire order was formed to protect… You know, stay true to the characters.”

The sounds of shattering glass echoed from wall to wall as two writers leapt naked through the windows, fist-bumping one another and shouting, “Brooooooooo!”

“See, Tim,” Jim said, “that’s the kind of energy we need here. Get your shit together. Ok, and lastly, let’s dissolve all the interesting characters we have left. Black Panther for one! Oh, and did I bring up the White Wolf? No? Doesn’t matter. He doesn’t have an arc in the movie anyway. Hell, no one needs a character arc here. It’s only half a story, after all, and doesn’t need to stand alone or anything.”

Joseph the Randy Donkey brayed a lonely song at the water cooler before defecating a sad pile on the floor.

“Damn, I love that donkey,” Jim said while cleaning his left ear with his right big toe. “So, you see where I’m going here, right? For year people have complained we are formulaic, but look at us being all badass and breaking the mold! We will take a decade worth of characters and squash them together, making half a movie that means nothing on it’s own, simply designed to set up our next million dollar movie in a year, needlessly kill off dozens of the best characters in a way that means nothing and will be reversed within the first quarter of the next movie, dabble in romance sorta, and wipe out half the life in the universe to save everyone from running out of food and stuff!”

The room erupted in cheers and whoops. Three men dueled to the death in celebration, Moron awoke from his long slumber in time to vote in the midterms and drive without using his blinkers, seven Hollywood executives took time away from sexually harassing the donkey the stamp and squeal in delight, a motley mob of slatterns boxed with a dusty group of heroin addicts in a mock Walmart, and the seventh seal was opened in the distance.

But a hush fell on the room like a smothering pillow as Tim cleared his throat.

“Hey, um, if Thanos can control time and matter with a mere thought, wielding enough power to kill fifty percent of all living things at the blink of an eye…why doesn’t he simply will infinite resources into being instead of killing untold trillions due to limited resources?”

The silence in the room laid so thick in the air that a large housefly, fat and well fed on over-ripe Hollywood movie drech, collapsed like a crumpled piece of tinfoil from the mere pressure in the room.

Lucky for the brave writers of Infinity War, there was a handy and already broken window to defenestrate Tim from before calling the seventy-five actors and warming up the computers for modern CGI magic.

https://klneidecker.com/2018/10/22/one-persons-take-on-what-the-infinity-war-pitch-room-conversation-was-like/

[sapphirysunsets]

Call me by your name...

I don’t know why I’ve been putting off talking about this film. Maybe its because it made me feel so much? and I’m so overwhelmed and feeling insecure about actually putting these feelings into words and being coherent??

I thought I’d wack on the soundtrack to get my juices flowing and FUCKING HELL even this opening track ‘Hallelujah junction’, which plays during the opening credits, has taken me back to 1983,  “somewhere in Northern Italy”.

What this film, and whole experience I’ve had from reading into it after, has really got me really thinking is that watching a film really and truly is an individual experience. This isn’t the first time I’ve felt such a intimate connection with the characters and plot and just general essence of a film, and often after watching any movie that really leaves such a tremendous impression on me I am always somewhat disappointed to discover that I am not alone in that respect. I suppose because it makes me feel insignificant after I’ve just experienced such deep feelings and felt such intimacy. And really, any filmmaker, director, actor congratulates themselves on being able to evoke such feelings in so many! And so, perhaps, I too should cherish this achievement, particularly in regards to Luca’s beautiful, beautiful film. 

Therefore, instead of any attempt to review the film for a general audience, which is always obviously from a personal perspective, I thought I’d write about what I was reminded of, what particular moments of story and characters resonated with me, as an individual, as a human being. 

First up, my love for European summers, for southern europeans during the summer, for France, for Spain, for Italy. That first breakfast outside, on the terrace, with apricot juice, Oliver accidentally taking Elio’s mother’s seat and her being so accommodating; it all reminded me of meals outside on the terrace at Mondou’s, in Hossegor where such kindness and understanding was shown to me and where I first really appreciated peaches (albeit not in the way they are later appreciated in the film! and they were always flat peaches). 

The light, the uncomplicated way of being, the simplicity that is so central to this film, is what I appreciate so much in my own life. The silent padding of bare feet across the soft grass, then across the gravel of the dusty path. The gentle trickle of the fountain. The plucking of apricots from the trees. The chirping of crickets, the rustling of birds and other insects. The breeze playing with the leaves; all an unceremonious soundtrack as they lie reclining, feeling that hot summer heat on their skin. This setting is then the backdrop for all these complicated emotions, desires, anxieties, insecurities. 

I really appreciated the centrality of music, particularly classical, to the story too. Watching Elio transcribing the music was familiar. And the way he plays Bach in the way Liszt would have played it had he altered Bach’s version, and then plays it in the way Bruzzoni would have played it had he altered Liszt’s version. It was like an aural exam, one that I agonised over, as a child, not really understanding the point of differing between baroque, classical and romantic. And then Elio returns to Bach to keep up the little flirtation but also giving Oliver what he wanted. It is that return to the baroque, that he’d been strumming on the guitar, that reminds me how I always have loved it so much, its steadiness, its trueness to form. And in this little so-called piano scene, at the end, the way Timothée intonates that last little line, about how the young Bach dedicated the piece to whoever, was the first time I felt like he was acting and not being, and I didn’t react negatively to it, as I normally would when an actor breaks that spell for me, but I found it reassuring and endearing. I almost saw some of myself in his expression, I felt like I’d used that intonation before, trying to portray that fondness and admiration. 

I thought Luca excelled in preserving such a sense of authenticity in the scenes of Elio, on his own in his room, fiddling about. And Tim has such an openness in his face, I could see his thoughts, I could recognise those feelings, ones I’ve felt myself. That frustration with himself, his inability to act, that intrigue, that boredom. My experience of this film is as a coming-of-age film, that first love, one I am yet to experience. 

I completely geeked out at the etymology scene. Honestly, it overwhelmed me so much. I’m not sure why? Maybe it was that realisation that other people share similar passions, that I am not alone in that respect. However, Oliver’s eagerness felt a little feigned. I saw through Armie’s performance a little and it did annoy me. Watching the film for a second time, I now noticed the knowing looks shared between Elio and his mother, as Armie corrects the Professor’s explanation of the etymology of the word Italian word for apricot. 

More on the aesthetic... The hot harsh sun on the quiet Italian plaza.The bikes, leaning against the cold stone of the house, gliding along the dry tarmac roads. Luca even makes cycling sexy. Maybe there’s something in the movement of bikes, a certain coyness? Oh god, what am I chatting.  

Also there’s something in the character of Elio that feels familiar to me. And I think it’s because in some ways he’s like Arthur, Sarah’s cousin, with his seamless American accent, him having an answer for everything, yes what he knows his physics, or maths or economics, but its that cockiness and that french-ness I suppose, that I recognise in him. 

Is it better to speak or to die? The question the short story Elio’s mother reads aloud probes. 

Call me by your name and I’ll call you by mine.The essence of the story. Losing yourself so much in the other,  that you love them so much you want to be them, that you become one. 

Elio’s father’s monologue. That fear of letting yourself feel, letting those emotions take over and overwhelm you, letting yourself feel pain. That it is better to let yourself feel these painful emotions, than to not feel at all, than to feel nothing at all. A lesson I must learn. I must let myself feel whatever pain, accept it, ride it and not try and kill it. 

There are so many other moments I should comment on. Like the peach scene for example. That curiosity? I got it. And do you know why? Because Tim’s performance was so real. He really is so very talented, so committed, so involved. Like the moment by the statue when Elio repeats twice , quietly to himself, what he’s just confessed to Oliver: “Because I wanted you to know”. He’s cringing at himself, he can’t believe he said it, that he said it like that. Like the nosebleed scene and the physical intimacy between them, the way that they’re no longer afraid to touch each other, to say what they feel. Like the scene by the waterfall, running up the mountain, freedom. Moments between Marzia and Elio, between Elio and his mother, moments of sadness, of coyness, of joy, of grief, of tears, of smiles, of awe. 

And knowing what I do about the production of the movie makes this all all the more powerful. The fact that Luca filmed it almost in sequence, chronologically, allows Tim and Armie’s comfort in their characters to grow as they become more comfortable with each other, on and off screen. Keeping takes to a minimum. Using single shots. Keeping it as free and as authentic as possible. Luca makes a movie how I would want to make a movie. As stylishly, as smoothly, as beautifully, as caringly, as commited and as freely as possible. 

I have written this Monday 5th March. The morning after the Oscar’s, the 90th Academy Awards. Maybe that is what got me to FINALLY write this...

[dipulb3]

This automatic charcoal grill cooks with tons of barbecue flavor

New Post has been published on https://appradab.com/this-automatic-charcoal-grill-cooks-with-tons-of-barbecue-flavor/

This automatic charcoal grill cooks with tons of barbecue flavor

The Masterbuilt Gravity Series 560 cooks with regular charcoal but runs like a pellet grill.

Brian Bennett/CNET

As barbecue grills go, the $500 Masterbuilt Gravity Series 560 is an outlier. It cooks with the big flavor of charcoal, yet offers the set-and-forget electronic temperature control of a pellet smoker. To get that combination you’d typically have to upgrade an ordinary charcoal grill or kamado with an aftermarket product. Examples are the Smartfire and popular DigiQ gadgets.

Like

Burns lump or briquette charcoal

Automatic temperature control

Meat probe included (4 supported)

Smokes and sears food with plenty of flavor

Don’t Like

Could be more efficient

Not water resistant

Another upside to the Gravity Series is that it can burn either standard briquettes or lump charcoal. Both types of fuel are much easier to find at your local supermarket than proprietary wood pellets. This grill is versatile too, letting you smoke low and slow or sear at high heat.

That said, the Gravity Series 560 isn’t flawless. It’s not as fuel efficient as Traeger pellet smokers I’ve used. It also tends to consume more briquettes than my trusty Weber Classic kettle. You also can’t use the 560 in the rain since it isn’t weather resistant. Still, this charcoal cooker is relatively affordable, capable and convenient. That makes the Gravity Series 560 perfect if you want classic charcoal barbecue flavor with less stress and hands-on time tending your fire.

The Masterbuilt Gravity Series 560 definitely has the look of a pellet smoker.

Brian Bennett/CNET

Looks like a smoker

On the outside, the Gravity Series 560 looks a lot like many backyard pellet smokers. Its black metal body is taller than it is long. The cart-style grill also stands on four legs equipped with casters on the front and wheels on the back. A large rectangular charcoal hopper sits to the right of the cooking chamber. 

The shelf on the 560’s left side houses the grills controls and temperature display, along with four ports for meat probes. Masterbuilt includes one probe in the 560’s box. You can buy additional probes directly through Masterbuilt ($20 each). 

Opening the grill’s lid reveals two cast-iron cooking grates plus a pair of porcelain-coated warming racks. Altogether, Masterbuilt says they provide a total cooking space of 560 square inches. According to the company that’s enough for four racks of ribs or eight chickens. 

For comparison, the Traeger Timberline 850 is roughly the same size. Even so, it provides a bigger 850 square inches of cooking space. Traeger says that will accommodate eight racks of ribs or four chickens. Regardless of the accuracy of either company’s chicken-to-rib ratio for estimating grill capacity, the Traeger pellet grill lets you grill more food at once.

The Masterbuilt app lets you control the grill, watch meat probe status, and read recipes.

Brian Bennett/CNET

Grill with the app

Like many higher-end grills today, including the Traeger Timberline 850, the Gravity Series 560 connects to Wi-Fi. You can also control it via a mobile app. This Masterbuilt app isn’t as advanced as Traeger’s. Traeger’s software lets you send actual temperature settings and cook times to its grill. The Timberline will then run the instructions as an executable program. It’s nice to have since it means less fiddling with grill controls.

By contrast, the Masterbuilt app provides temperature control, meat probe monitoring and a library of text recipes. While the app’s list of recipes isn’t as extensive or as flashy as Traeger’s and its many colorful photos, the instructions are easy to follow. What’s more important here is being able to track the progress and status of your food remotely, which Masterbuilt’s app provides. 

A different kind of smoker

The Gravity Series 560 doesn’t operate like a traditional charcoal or kamado grill. It doesn’t cook food in the same chamber as burning charcoal. Instead, an electric fan and vent channel heat and smoke from lit charcoal inside the hopper into the cooking cavity.

To start the grill, you first light coals from the bottom end of the hopper. A charcoal grate supports the weight of charcoal in the hopper above it. The grate also has a slot to add your preferred fire starter. 

Start the grill by placing a fire starter at the bottom of the charcoal hopper and lighting it.

Brian Bennett/CNET

Flames here will ignite the bottom layer of charcoal. As they burn, their ashes fall through the grate into a removable ash tray below. Additionally, heavier unlit charcoal at the top of the hopper forces spent fuel into the tray.

The whole setup reminds me of an offset smoker, though one assisted by a fanned temperature-control system. It’s similar to how pellet grills run too, save that they mechanically feed pellets from their hoppers into a separate fire box inside their cooking chambers.

Cooking with the Gravity Series

My experience cooking with the Gravity Series 560 was a pleasant one. When I fire up my old-school Weber kettle, I usually light the charcoal in a chimney starter and let them burn for 15 minutes before I put them in the Weber. When I’m planning to cook low and slow for barbecue, I employ the snake method. This calls for stacking briquettes in systematic layers in a semicircle around the kettle’s inner edge. It’s effective, but also takes some time to get it going. 

These extra steps aren’t necessary with the 560. The grill’s charcoal hopper serves as its own chimney starter. With the hopper full (12 pounds of briquettes), a fire starter ignited a sufficient amount of coals in about 5 minutes. Then I buttoned up the hopper, removed two vent intake slides, and turned the grill on.

Sensors on the lid and hopper doors tell the fan to spin up when everything is closed. Next I punched in my target grill temperature, and it’s off to the races. Providing I had a proper ignition, the Masterbuilt 560 quickly ramped its internal heat levels to where I wanted them. 

For example, it hit 225 degrees Fahrenheit (107.2 C) in 6 to 7 minutes. From there it only took a few minutes more to jump to 350 degrees (176.7 C). The same is true to reach the grill’s maximum temperature of 700 degrees (371.1 C).

Thermocouple readings matched the grill’s internal thermometer.

Brian Bennett/CNET

To get a feel for the Gravity Series 560’s chops, I cooked a few racks of baby back ribs. I set the grill at 225 degrees and monitored temperatures with both thermocouple and the Meater wireless meat thermometer. Generally, they both matched the grill’s internal temperature sensor.

Ribs smoked in the Masterbuilt Gravity Series came out well.

Brian Bennett/CNET

While I observed a few short spikes, things generally stayed between 225 and 235 degrees for the 5 hours, 36 minute cook time. I admit that my grumpy family forced me to crank up the heat in the last few minutes to make dinnertime.

Ah, baby back ribs. A lovely sight.

Brian Bennett/CNET

Next, I fired off two ribeye steaks. For the first one, I used Masterbuilt’s reverse seared steak recipe supplied by the app. First I flipped the reversible cast-iron cooking grates over to their searing position. Then with the grill’s wired probe, I cooked this steak (at 225 degrees) until its internal temp hit 110 degrees and set it aside. 

Then I dialed the grill up to 700 degrees. I then seared this steak and another uncooked ribeye at high heat until both had internal temperatures of 140 degrees. As expected, both steaks had a nice amount of sear but the second was unevenly cooked. 

Steak I cooked in the Gravity Series was nicely seared.

Brian Bennett/CNET

The first slab of meat (reverse-seared method) however, was sheer perfection. Beyond tender, it had a caramelized exterior yet was much more juicy.

Roasted barbecue chicken on the Masterbuilt Gravity Series 560.

Brian Bennett/CNET

Finally, I roasted a spatchcocked chicken at 350 degrees. I gave it the barbecue treatment, a sweet and smoky rub. I threw a chunk of pecan smoke wood into the grill’s ash tray, too, for extra oomph. After 1 hour and 19 minutes, I was treated to one fantastic bird. Its skin was crisp while its flesh was juicy, with a pleasing smoke flavor. 

I do have a few problems though with the 560. The biggest one is that it’s not weather resistant. Essentially you can’t run it in the rain. For an ordinary grill I wouldn’t mind, but for a smoker that often needs to complete long cooks spanning several hours, it’s an issue. Other electric grills such as Traeger pellet smokers are effectively sealed and insulated from the elements.

The Gravity Series was also less efficient than my trusty Weber kettle. While the formulation of briquettes has changed over the years, one charcoal snake typically lasts me 7 to 8 hours. That’s approximately 80 briquettes, or a full chimney starter’s worth, to cook baby back ribs for between 5 and 6 hours. The same task on the Gravity Series consumed about three quarters of an 8 pound bag, or about 112 briquettes. There are worse sins in barbecuing, certainly, but if you’re an active griller especially, you’re going to want to make sure you have more charcoal on hand than you normally might.

The verdict

I truly enjoyed my experience with the $500 Masterbuilt Gravity Series 560. It grills with high heat, smokes low and slow, and everything in between. The 560 also conveniently controls its own pit temperature like a pellet grill, yet burns regular lump or briquette charcoal. Almost everything I cooked in the Gravity Series 560 came out tasting fabulously good.

This grill doesn’t make sense for everyone. It’s many times the price of regular charcoal cookers that can deliver food that’s just as delicious with a little practice. Still, for those who seek an automated smoker that runs almost like a Traeger, the Gravity Series is a compelling and more affordable alternative. Just try not to get it wet. 

[secretshinigami]

Wishful Thinking

Author: @silvia-aivlis For: @abbadon-abandon Characters / Pairings: Light Yagami & L Lawliet; Ryuk Rating / Warnings: Teen and Up; Major Character Death Prompt: Light and L in an AU where Light works as a cop for L Summary: Old identity: Light Yagami, 18, college student, Kira suspect under surveillance. New identity: Light Yagami, 23, NPA detective, sworn member of L’s Kira Investigation Task Force. Light is in love with this new world. It ends in nothing. Author’s notes after the end.

It can’t get any better.

He wouldn’t say this had not been unsettling, but now he was getting used to this slightly taller and stronger body. It was starting to feel natural. It was still his own body. Just taller and stronger. Better. And from everything he had gathered so far, his situation here was also much better than in his original world.

Not that he wouldn’t try his best (and eventually succeed) if he ever returned to his original world. But he had found no way to return (nor even to explain this sudden overhaul) so far, and he was not one to object to favourable circumstances. He can do this, he assured himself. He can.

All was great. Except, perhaps, for the gun that was currently pointed to the right of his brain.

Calm down. Do not panic. Think of the fact that not even this is worse than your old world. Light Yagami remembered the day Soichiro Yagami had pointed a gun at his own son, and smiled sardonically. Yes, if he was able deal with that, he could deal with this.

The bullet from his father’s gun had turned out to be blank. As for this one, well, it would not even fire. He was going to make sure of that.

‘Watari-san,’ he greeted, making sure neither his voice nor arms trembled. ‘And Ryuzaki is here as well. I assume this is your order, then.’

He watched ‘Ryuzaki’ enter the room like a leopard, quiet, lethality concealed under a casual hunch. He glanced at the digital equipment in the room (nothing was out of the line) before resuming his gaze on Light.

Or not Light.

‘Ryuzaki’, or rather, L, the best detective in the world, did not beat around the bush. ‘You are not Light-san. I’d like to know where the real Light Yagami is.’

‘What are you talking about, Ryuzaki? I am Light Yagami.’ The cylindrical metal on his skin felt more distinct, as was his accelerating heartbeat. Perhaps it should not have surprised him that Ryuzaki would figure out something was amiss in two days. The detective was proficient when he put his mind into it.

And perhaps pretending was not the best strategy. It would be extremely easy to see through his bluff in a prolonged interrogation. Ryuzaki only needed to know what to ask…

‘When we first met, I talked to each of you individually to ascertain that none of you are Kira. What did you and I talk about?’

Time to change tack. ‘Let me rephrase.’ Light drew a deep breath. ‘I’m not the Light Yagami you’re familiar with, but I am Light Yagami nonetheless. I can’t say I understand all that has happened myself, but you can say that I’m Light Yagami from a parallel universe.’

Light registered Ryuzaki’s surprise — veiled but still discernible from his eyes widening — and Watari’s complete lack of reaction, and internally applauded the older man’s composure. Was that a lack of fear? Lack of belief in Light’s tale? Or lack of concern whatsoever? The gun did not move one inch closer or further from his head.

Light turned his attention back to Ryuzaki. He told Ryuzaki as much truth as he could afford. That he was eighteen-year-old Light Yagami keeping a close eye on the supremely unusual Kira case, and then he woke up one day as twenty-three-year-old Light Yagami being an actual NPA detective, working with L and select colleagues at the very mystery. That was two days ago.

‘I don’t know why the world changed overnight, but the truth is there’s nothing I can do about that. I’ve tried, but there isn’t any clue. And frankly, I don’t mind if my only option is to live my best in this world. There aren’t too many differences between the two worlds, but so far the changes in this world are for the better.’

There he felt it again, the excitement about this unknown yet appealing world. Even Watari’s unmoving gun seemed less frightening as he envisioned what he could do here. In this new world.

Ryuzaki had remained stoic and speculative since recovering from the initial shock. He did not react as Light gushed on about the ‘better’ things in this universe.

‘To be able to finally join the NPA officially and tackle a case with such wide-reaching impact… It’s a great honour. Exceedingly so, and I’m so glad I can finally contribute officially, instead of just watching my father drown himself in work and risk his life every day…

‘And Misora-san and Ukita-san.’

As Light expected, this strategic pause successfully piqued Ryuzaki’s curiosity. Ryuzaki’s gaze bored into Light’s, but Light did not budge. How many would dare to initiate a staring match when one word from the opponent’s mouth could trigger the gun at his brain? Sometimes his boldness surprised even himself. It was unexpectedly… thrilling.

‘Pray tell. What of Misora-san and Ukita-san?’ Ryuzaki was calm, as if he had not just yielded to his own captive’s wish by asking. But perhaps he was just confident that this battle would not cost him the war.

‘They are alive here, and both working with us. In my world, Ukita-san was killed during the Second Kira’s first Sakura TV broadcast, and Misora-san vanished without a trace, and was presumed dead.’

Ryuzaki remarked coolly, ‘Are you suggesting that they’re both alive in this world just because you’re five years older?’ There was a hint of amusement in his voice.

‘No, please don’t misunderstand. I’m just saying that it gives me hope. The side of justice managed to save two more lives from Kira. Even if Kira is still at large, this is still very encouraging. I just feel that I could do so much more here!’

Light mustered all sincerity he could convey in his eyes, willed Ryuzaki to get it. Could he get it? That man’s eyes were often a black hole sucking in all and refusing to reciprocate.

Ryuzaki took a step towards Light, his two hands languidly finding their way into jean pockets. ‘If this world is filling you with hope, I wonder if your world is filling our Light-san with dread. Is he feeling frustrated, trapped in the body of his eighteen-year-old college freshman self and a slightly grimmer universe? Or perhaps he hasn’t gone to your world, but has simply… gone?’ Ryuzaki’s eyes began assessing every inch of Light’s face again, intense as if daring Light to lie. ‘Assuming you’re telling the truth, you wouldn’t know where he is, would you?’ He sounded almost… concerned.

Light wondered about the relationship between his parallel self and Ryuzaki. Before the gun, Light would say Ryuzaki did not seem much different than his counterpart.

Then he suddenly remembered the first day — or rather, the first hour — he found himself in this new body and new world, when Ryuzaki greeted him from a mouthful of donut. Hadn’t the detective sounded a little less probing and more friendly than he had remembered?

He thought it was a nervousness-induced illusion, and as the overt friendliness never reappeared, he assumed he had been right. Now he rethought it, he had probably given the wrong reaction and sparked Ryuzaki’s suspicion at that very moment.

Ryuzaki was still gazing at Light, waiting for an answer. Well, Light did not wish ill upon his counterpart, but honestly, there was nothing he can say about it at the moment.

‘I don’t know where he’s gone to. I’m sorry, Ryuzaki.’

There was a moment of silence. Light discreetly observed, pondering the existence of an unironical friendship between Light Yagami and Ryuzaki, L…

‘… Assuming you’re telling the truth, no one can say it is your fault.’ Ryuzaki finally conceded, eyes still speculative but his tone softening just a little.

Light found his breath again when Ryuzaki signalled Watari to withdraw his gun and bow out of the room. Looking too hopeful would be looking like a fool, so he opted for a resolute look when he raised his head again.

L pulled a chair and settled into his usual frog-like posture opposite Light. Light wondered if that would be the very last thing to change in any parallel universe.

‘Your testimony is interesting though difficult to prove or disprove. Even to the best detective in the world, parallel universes are something new. But perhaps a more productive step to take is to ascertain that you’re not Kira. Let’s begin your own individual talk with me.’

Light blinked.

His legs were ready to jump up and he wanted to exclaim in celebration, but he checked himself to appear calm and proper. Only the spark in his eyes disclosed his excitement at Ryuzaki’s announcement.

This was indeed such a better world. This was what should have happened all along. Something to prove his innocence, that was actually achievable.

He liked this Ryuzaki already.

He decided that this Ryuzaki did not need to know he was a Kira suspect back in his old world.

His new life had started. Let bygone be bygone.

***

Another thing different about this universe were the dates. Kira started in spring instead of winter here, the killings usually occurred once or twice a week, and the Yotsuba Group, on which Light had been keeping tabs back then, had not done anything suspicious to warrant further investigation yet. In fact, the Second Kira in this universe did not emerge until the end of June.

The only constant seemed to be Ryuzaki insisting that the team move into his specially built, unreasonably large investigation headquarters on the first of August, so as July reached its end, everyone in the Task Force had to multitask moving preparations and the search for Second Kira in Aoyama.

‘Why shouldn’t I go to Aoyama? Didn’t all of us agree that I’m suited for this mission?’

‘Yeah, Light-kun has a keen eye for the Second Kira! For one, I’m still alive thanks to him swiftly picking up the fact that they can kill with just a face!’ Ukita offered his support to Light. ‘Maybe he’d be able to spot the Second Kira in Aoyama!’

‘Yes, Light-san did excellently during the Sakura TV broadcast. That’s exactly why I’d like him to be back support this time. As long as every individual from the frontline reports information promptly, the back will be able to obtain comprehensive information more quickly than the front and make the best decision for everyone. That’s part of why I’m always at the back, myself.’

Ryuzaki left for the pantry area, signalling no room for objection.

Light did not try to argue and even helped (not like Ryuzaki even had the intention to do so) to pacify Ukita and Matsuda, who still wanted Light in the Aoyama mission.

But today was his shift to stay behind at night, and he was not going to waste the opportunity.

‘I don’t buy your explanation in the afternoon. Do you refuse to let me go to Aoyama because you don’t trust my abilities?’

‘No,’ Ryuzaki said quickly. ‘And why don’t you “buy” my explanation?’

‘There may be truth in what you said, about you finding it beneficial to have all information.’ Light carefully treaded the line between forthrightness and incivility. ‘… But you don’t seem to find it important for anyone that’s not you to have that information. When you assign video feeds for inspection, you’re always the only one to watch all of them. No matter how “excellently” I did during the Sakura TV broadcast, it doesn’t seem enough to warrant your trust.’ He took a deep breath and added with just a little more force, ‘I think you didn’t allow me to go to Aoyama because you don’t trust me. Do you think I’m incapable for this mission?’

Ryuzaki did not answer immediately. Taking a large bite of strawberry shortcake, he turned to look at Light, curious. ‘Did you know me back in your world?’

Light’s heart skipped a beat at the abrupt question. But he had been careful to stick to information that he could obtain here, so there was no real threat. Don’t fret. Be as relaxed as possible. ‘Well… I just knew L from the Lind L Taylor broadcast on TV… which also appeared here, correct?’ Ryuzaki nodded. Relax. Jest a little. ‘Did you also shout “I’m justice” for the entire Kanto area to hear as well? That was a feat, wasn’t it?’

Ryuzaki did not even blink. ‘Justice will prevail.’ He replied neutrally.

Be natural. ‘… Anyway, why did you ask?’

‘… Because your characterisation of me is fairly accurate.’ Ryuzaki turned to his plate, holding his fork with two fingers to fiddle with the last strawberry. ‘Though I did distribute the video feeds like you said the past few days.’

‘Well, yes. Now I have answered your question. Can you answer mine?’

‘I have another question.’ This made Light frown. ‘You were not the one who averted Ukita’s death. What makes you think that you should be treated exactly like your more experienced but now lost counterpart?’

‘So not only don’t you trust Light Yagami, you especially don’t trust this Light Yagami.’ Said Light Yagami sighed dramatically. ‘You do have a point, I am less experienced and less trained. I’m not insisting that I should go to Aoyama, but I thought I could at least be useful in some way, since you took the pains to induct me to the team instead of kicking me out, after all… What?’

Instead of lifting up his plate like a decent human being, Ryuzaki bowed down and stuck his tongue out, licking the crumbs on the plate like a dog and showing every sign of boredom. Light rolled his eyes.

‘I’m bored.’ Raising its head, the dog dared to announce. ‘Snooker?’

‘Snooker?’ Light repeated neutrally, unsure why Ryuzaki was asking. He was even more perplexed when two exceptionally ugly masks were pulled out from a cabinet.

‘Snooker,’ Ryuzaki murmured serenely. Then all movement halted as he took in Light’s rising intonation. ‘Snooker… unless… you don’t play?’

‘… I know the basics.’ Light replied, but he got the idea that this was not the answer Ryuzaki hoped for.

He knew he was right when Ryuzaki made his most scandalised face since meeting the 18-year-old Light Yagami.

‘I assume we’ve discovered another difference between my old world and this world.’

Ryuzaki stared at the ceiling, his mouth agape, and made no reply.

‘Is it really that shocking? You look like you’ve gone bankrupt. And I know you’re dirt rich.’ Still no response. ‘… Do you play tennis? I don’t know if there’s a tennis court around here… but maybe we can find an afternoon for a few rounds… if you play at all.’

‘I want to play snooker. Now.’ Ryuzaki whined.

Light sighed even more dramatically than before. ‘It’s not like I don’t want to play. Just that you’re probably way more skilful than me that you’d probably be bored anyway. What’s more, we’re supposed to be on guard… What again?’

Ryuzaki was grabbing Light’s wrist with a firm hold, and Light found that very disconcerting.

‘We don’t have to leave the hotel. Watari will inform us of anything worth mentioning.’

***

The mask had, for some reason, three red ugly faces, and was therefore much larger than necessary, even covering part of his ears. Light peered at his cue through the eye holes of the middle face, and waited for his turn.

The other mask in the hotel’s snooker room had only one face, but Light could not determine whether it was of a woman turning into a skeleton or a skeleton masquerading as a woman.

When asked where he had found these monstrosities, the other mask bearer replied cheekily, ‘Aren’t they fun?’

The hideousness of the masks did not bother Ryuzaki as he methodically hit ball after ball into pockets. Red, colour, red, colour. As expected, Ryuzaki was an excellent player. Even with a generous handicap, he still managed to beat Light with a considerable margin for three consecutive frames.

At least Light was getting better. He was a fast learner, after all.

‘Were you close with, um… the Light Asahi I don’t know?’

Light was given in a second’s full view of the skeleton-woman mask before Ryuzaki turned again to the table and bent over for his next shot.

‘… He was an exceptional snooker player, very elegant.’

Light could not figure out whether being ‘elegant’ was a compliment in Ryuzaki’s standards.

‘Why ask?’

‘Just curious.’ Light hesitated, but curiosity won. ‘Do you miss him?’

In the old world, Ryuzaki had called him ‘his first friend’, and if true, old Ryuzaki had a very peculiar way of treating friendship. But this Ryuzaki, while not that different from the old one, had always been a bit friendlier to him after ensuring he was neither Kira nor old Light’s kidnapper. Light supposed he could feel sorry for this Ryuzaki, if his appearance had indeed cost him his only friend.

Not that he could bring the old Light back. There was nothing he could do about that, but if needed, he could try and be a good friend for this Ryuzaki. Together (and with everyone in the Task Force, too) they would catch Kira and make this new world an ever better place than it already is. He would get better at snooker, and perhaps get new Ryuzaki to try tennis as well.

‘Do I miss him…’ Ryuzaki was still thinking even as he stepped away from the snooker table, letting Light take his turn. ‘The thing I disliked the most about him was that he always sided with his father whenever we disagreed.’

Light had little time to ponder on this abrupt change of topic before Ryuzaki delivered another punch:

‘Not that I expect much to change now. You’re still wearing the watch Asahi-san gave you every day.’

‘… You two do seem close, if you know about the watch.’

‘Omega speedmaster, also named “Moonwatch”. Quite a well-chosen gift, of course.’

‘… Circumstances considered, it shouldn’t be too surprising that I’m rather attached to the gift I received just after entering university. Anyway, I’m glad the other Asahi father and son were also on good terms…’

He considered whether he should add in a word of being a good son to his new father as well, but now that Light had sent the last ball to the pocket, Ryuzaki’s attention was already on the score board.

Thus Light saw no need to trouble him with the mystery that he had not been able to take the watch off ever since he arrived in the new world, and that he strongly suspected the watch to have travelled to this world with him.

He was careful not to let his large three-faced mask bump into Ryuzaki as he checked the score board himself. ‘Oh — oops, sorry…’ The mask scratched Ryuzaki’s shoulder as Light jolted in surprise, but no complaint came from the skeleton-woman mask. ‘… I won.’

‘Yes. In your fourth frame.’

‘Well, by one point and with handicap.’

‘Yes. But still impressive.’ Ryuzaki’s expression was masked, but Light was pleasantly surprised that he did sound impressed. ‘As I’ve always believed, talent is more important than training.’ He mistook Light’s stillness as need for elaboration, and added, ‘The world’s best three detectives were all self-trained, for example.’

‘This is still about whether I’ve been trained or not?’ Light asked, incredulous. ‘But you’re changing your tune… But you’ve always believed? Wait… How long have you been planning to say this?!’

‘Since you won the frame.’

‘Then why did you criticise me for being inexperienced?’

‘I didn’t criticise, I just asked out of curiosity. I don’t see someone with as much confidence in talent as me every day.’

‘But…’

‘But I still advise against you going to Aoyama in this case. I want to focus on finding the Second Kira and don’t want to deal with the consequence of any potential difference between two parallel universes along the way. Better wait until you’re more informed about this world.’

‘… I got it. Really.’ Light suddenly wished they weren’t wearing masks to protect their faces from the hotel’s security cameras. He wanted to see for certain the concern he thought he heard from Ryuzaki so as to justify the warmth he felt at heart.

He liked his new world so much.

***

Light Yagami had been an important asset to the police force. Now he was an important asset to the police force and the Kira Task Force. His deduction skills were so impressive that Naomi Misora said he reminded him of L. Ryuzaki looked slightly disgruntled at the comment, but Light positively beamed.

This almost made him forget the apprehension creeping up as the Kira investigation stumbled.

‘On the up side, Kira has stopped killing.’

‘On the down side, that wasn’t because of our doing, Matsuda-san. And judging from the nature of the extremely scattered heart attacks recently, the Second Kira hasn’t given up — even if the First Kira has stopped.’

‘And the First Kira stopping now means that we’ll have fewer chances to gain new clues on them. Not that clues have been forthcoming from the get-go, but still.’ Light supposed it would be best that he bring up the point himself. ‘And since Kira had always worked on an irregular schedule, we can’t even pin down the exact date they stopped. We can only surmise that they’ve really stopped because of their unusually long silence.’

‘I thought that’s because the First Kira is letting the Second Kira do their biddings?’

‘Those being killed aren’t the First Kira’s usual victims. The Second Kira may not be following any orders.’

‘Or they’re following an order to appear not to be following any order.’

‘Is it possible that the First Kira is simply saving up for the next big strike?’ Aizawa asked.

‘We shouldn’t rule out any possibility,’ Ryuzaki replied grimly.

Only Light knew of the permissible possibility that the First Kira might have stopped after Light entered his new world. Or after the ‘old’ Light Yagami left this world.He intended to be the only one who knew of this.

If worse came to worse, Light could certainly argue that he was a different Light. But he would not let it come to worse. He would not risk raising Ryuzaki’s suspicion again, not when this all hit too close to what had occurred in his old world — which it was all the more necessary to keep a secret now than ever.

Light needed progress. He needed to find Kira — First or Second did not matter — in this new world. And if what he had learnt in the old one could help him make this world a better one, he would use it.

***

Light’s hands trembled as he flipped through multiple reports to double check every cross reference. The sea of paper extended but he never lost his bearing. One fact connected to another and then to another.

He sprang after a tortuous round of triple checking, unable to withhold excitement any longer. A short dash was enough to bring him to Ryuzaki’s location.

Ryuzaki was shoving M&M’s into his mouth when Light arrived. His hand looked smaller than usual when compared to the bowl of chocolate beans that it was clawing into.

Light rolled his eyes but refrained from further reaction. I’ve just known L ‘Ryuzaki’ for three weeks and shouldn’t be showing annoyance that accumulated over more than three months, he reminded himself.

Still, he could probably afford to voice his opinion in this new world. ‘As the leader of our investigation team, don’t you think you ought to behave a bit more… properly?’

Ryuzaki looked at him as though he had just told a dumb joke. Maybe he did thought he had told a dumb joke. Ryuzaki had been clear about his priorities, after all. ‘Yeah yeah yeah, actual talent is what matters the most and other things don’t worth a cent to you.’

‘If you already anticipated my response, there was no point in complaining, unless just to make yourself feel better.’

‘Maybe it does make me feel better,’ Light murmured, more to himself. Then he added, a bit more loudly, ‘And you’re just eating more and more junk food these days. At this rate, we wouldn’t be able to verify whether it was Kira’s doing if you died of heart attack.’

A smile. ‘I must avoid being killed by Kira, then. This is to keep myself from getting bored.’ Another shovel of M&M’s. ‘Things are a bit too quiet when the First Kira is lying low.’

‘Both Kiras need to be caught. And closing in on the Second may lead us to the First.’

‘That’s what I hope. The First Kira is definitely the big fish.’

Ryuzaki sounded excited and Light humphed. ‘You sound like you’re just after Kira for fun.’

‘Just like you’re just after Kira because you’re a cop.’

Light almost gawked. ‘Your meaning being? I couldn’t be after Kira if I wasn’t a cop. I knew this from my old world.’

‘I mean that you’re not really upset that criminals are getting killed. You’re just upset that Kira is also a criminal.’ Ryuzaki did not elaborate.

Light stood still and stared, his thoughts too busy to remember what he had come here for. But he recovered as soon as Ryuzaki snatched Light’s files with his hand still greasy with M&M coating and began reading himself. ‘I’ve pinned down where the hair, powder and fabric on Second Kira’s envelope to Sakura TV came from.’ Light reported quickly.

‘Misa Amane?’ Ryuzaki peered at the young model grinning and posing slightly seductively in a photo. Then he raised a very thin eyebrow. ‘Well, let’s hope this gets us to the big fish.’

Very slowly, Light smiled.

***

As they waited for Amane being brought to the investigation headquarters, Light found himself recollecting a memory from his old world — His father was brought to hospital due to a heart attack — A misfortune that had not happened in this new world, probably because of his adult son’s extra assistance at work (yet another reason this world was incredible and must be protected at all cost) — Then his father — his old father — said that Kira was unfortunate to have possessed the ability to kill.

Considering how removed Light now felt from that world, old Soichiro Yagami’s voice rang exceptionally clear in his mind.

He could even feel it still, the intense displeasure upon hearing this comment. But that was such a long time and an entire world ago, so he could not remember why this angered him so. He just thought of it again after Ryuzaki said he did not mind criminals being killed by Kira.

Why did he not like the notion of Kira being unfortunate?

‘While I do think the criminals targeted by the First Kira are pretty worthless, it’s just that I do not condone criminals. As you said, Kira is also a criminal.’

If Ryuzaki was startled by the choice of topic, he did not show it. Not moving any part of his body except the eyes, he glanced at Light and then glanced around to make sure everyone else was occupied, before replying in a low voice, ‘Thanks for the confirmation. Glad to know I’m right.’

‘Ha, ha,’ Light’s laughter was dry and hollow. ‘I can’t even identify if that’s sarcasm or completely sincere.’

‘That’s completely sincere.’

‘Ha, ha. As long as you know the main point is that I do not condone criminals.’ Was he hoping that the sudden boldness would prevent Ryuzaki from ever suspecting him being Kira? This move made him slightly uncomfortable and yet giddy at the same time. The adrenaline was even making him facetious. ‘Now it’s your turn. Just confess that you’re not doing detective work out of a sense of justice.’

‘I’m not doing detective work out of a sense of justice.’ The reply was so quick that Light glared. Ryuzaki took a bite of cupcake and continued in what should not have been such a calm and matter-of-fact tone, ‘It’s a hobby to keep boredom away. But I’m so good at it, I’ve become justice in the process.’

Light glared more, but then he smirked and a wicked glint sparked in his eyes. ‘I really want to let the world know that the great detective L isn’t even trying to do the world good. You should hold another broadcast about it, Lind L Taylor style.’

L raised an index finger and shook it before Light’s nose. ‘Wrong. Didn’t I say I’ve become justice? I’m justice. I am, ergo the world is done good to.’

‘You’re hopeless,’ Light tried so hard not to snicker too loudly that he eventually had to catch his breath. ‘But… but… but… as long as you don’t judge me for thinking low of Kira’s victims, I won’t judge you for treating all this as a game.’

Ryuzaki’s reply was locking his eyes with Light’s and exchanging a mischievous, knowing smirk.

Light was still smiling by the time Watari announced the arrest of Misa Amane and the arrival of evidence gathered from her apartment. He was happy with where his conversation with Ryuzaki had ended. It really was astounding how much not being a Kira suspect had improved their relationship and understanding of each other.

This is the way to go. Light felt more certain than ever. He would achieve everything he could and more that he could not achieve back in the old world. And he would keep on achieving more. Take full use of what already is better here to create an even perfect world.

When the items collected from Misa Amane’s apartment arrived at the headquarters, Light picked up a black notebook.

***

The roof of the headquarters building seldom had visitors, especially now when construction work was ongoing beside the helicopter parking lots. Most of the Task Force did not understand why Ryuzaki suddenly wanted to build a tennis court. Light just smiled when he heard the news.

And now he was taking advantage of this desertedness.

He watched the flying creature land before him, folding its large wings behind its back. Funny, because the wings were definitely black in his eyes, though everyone else, Ryuzaki and the rest of the Task Force, seemed to see them as white. ‘… Must I call you “Rem” in this world?’ he was cautious, not sure whether to immediately point out or ask about the wings’ colour.

‘… If not “Rem”, what name do you propose?’ The shinigami seemed a bit bored. It took out and ate a shrivelled fruit that looked like an apple-pepper hybrid, which did not seem to improve its mood.

But the sight of the fruit proved something useful for Light. ‘Oh, had Misa not fed you enough apples from the human world? Don’t worry, I’ll give you plenty.’ He smirked. ‘Take them as my goodwill. And to answer your question, how do you think about the name “Ryuk”?’

The undeniably dark shinigami (which looked white to other people) widened its mouth and showed Light what probably was intended to be a grin, though even Light thought it appeared more creepy than goofy. ‘So you saw through me. Again.’

He rarely ever saw through anyone else, but he always saw through Ryuk because he no longer attached anything to it.

Light raised an eyebrow. He observed Ryuk more closely than before, almost counting each feather attached to the shinigami, and asked tentatively, ‘… Could it be … Are you from the old world as well?’

‘You mean the world where you lost your memories after the Amane girl was caught, not before? “Old world”, huh.’ Ryuk said dully.

It took Light a while to recover his speech ability. Then too many questions fought to be asked that he did not know which to say first. In the end he opted for a comment. ‘So you’ve taken up Rem’s role here. Is that why everyone else sees you as white? Does Rem the white shinigami just… not exist anymore?’ The sun was setting but the sky turning orange did not distract Light for long. ‘That’s one of the more interesting changes in the new world.’

‘Yes, Rem the white shinigami does not exist anymore. Hasn’t existed for a long time, I should say.’

‘This world probably did not have a Ryuk, so when you came here, you became Rem.’

Light could not say he cared too deeply about that, Ryuk’s name change or Rem’s disappearance, but he stored the new knowledge about replacement rules at the back of his mind, just in case.

‘This is just as well. If “Rem” was really that Rem, I wouldn’t want to risk her wrath by killing Misa. I might not have been able to regain death note ownership and recover my memories so quickly.’ He touched the watch that had never left his wrist in the new world. Everything in this world has a purpose, he realised. Everything in this world helps me succeed as Kira and create the perfect world. I might have temporarily forgotten my mission, but the world always remembers my promise.

‘You killed that girl so quickly. You didn’t even know who I was but were so sure that I wasn’t in love with that girl like Rem was, huh. You never doubt that things will go your way. I never understand why.’

‘Oh, please, Ryuk. You didn’t even show an ounce of concern for Misa down there. And you haven’t got any, have you?’

‘No, I haven’t.’

Light smiled in satisfaction. ‘It’s a pity I can’t make use of Misa’s shinigami eye anymore, but now that I’m not a Kira suspect, killing Ryuzaki is no longer a priority.’

‘And you probably want to sway him to your side, too, am I right?’ Ryuk asked flatly.

Ryuk watched Light gape, as if he had never considered the idea before, and then lowered his head to contemplate the idea. This human never got any better, the shinigami thought in disinterest.

Said human raised his head, an answer ready. ‘You’re right, Ryuk, it is worth trying. Most people can be swayed one way or another, and Ryuzaki doesn’t seem to oppose Kira out of principle.’ He sounded airy, and wore a very faint smile as he spoke. ‘Maybe we can still fight alongside each other… on Kira’s side…’ He was looking suddenly dreamy, his gaze wandering far, far away.

Ryuk looked around. This was supposed to be evening, so it supposed Light was enjoying the sight of a beautiful, or even romantic, orange sky.

He might or might not be feeling romantic — Ryuk was not a very good judge at that — but when he was done doing dreamy, he began doing excited. So capricious.

‘Yes. I will sway Ryuzaki to my side. Why not? I can achieve more here, even more than I could back in the old world. L could only be Kira’s enemy back there, but here, he can be Kira’s supporter! And Kira…’ The human gasped, as if he just realised something great. ‘You know what, Ryuk… I’ve never liked the title “God of the New World” as much as now. Yes, I will be God, to protect this wonderful new world!’

Geez. ‘You never give up on this, don’t you.’

Light looked at Ryuk, dismayed. ‘You seem pretty disgruntled today. Is it because of apples? Let’s get some at the pantry first, then. We shouldn’t leave the others for too long, anyway.’

Light took his steps to the exit, but Ryuk could not find the motivation to move. In fact, it could not find the motivation to play along anymore. ‘That’s no use, Light. Just as the shinigami apples can never be disguised, I can never taste the “human apples” in your little fantasies. Let’s end this. Please try not to start again this time.’

‘What again? You’re talking strange.’ Light turned, his brown eyes filled with confusion.

Ryuk sighed. It really did not want to explain again. The King said it might help enlighten the human and stop this once and for all, but so far nothing had worked. The human held too many passions with him, the King said.

‘You really should stop coming up with these dreamy “new worlds”.’ Where Light Yagami envisioned an enamouring sunset, Ryuk only saw a desolate corner of the shinigami realm. Potent orange only existed in illusion; reality was a piece of anaemic bleakness. ‘In no “world” will you ever “win”. You already lost. You already died. Accept this and you can finally rest. And I can finally take a break too, because I must be the one to end each of your “new worlds”. That’s the rule.’

‘What?’ Light was clad in a black suit because he imagined himself to be a police detective. To Ryuk it only looked like the clothes he wore on that cold January day, the day Ryuk ate his last human apple.

Now Light Yagami was panicking as he saw Ryuk take out a black notebook and a shinigami pen made of bone. He was shouting, telling Ryuk to stop, asking what Ryuk had meant (he probably was not going to be enlightened this time either, Ryuk thought sadly), and trying to grapple with the shinigami.

‘What? What?! What?! I died?! I didn’t! I’m still here! I wouldn’t be here if I died! There’s nothing after death! You said it!’

‘Not like this meant anything either, Light. Everything is nothing when you only imagined them.’

‘Help! Help! Ryuzaki! Dad! Watari! Misora! Ukita! Matsuda!’

‘Have you not gone on enough? Sometimes you get along with Ryuzaki. Sometimes your father isn’t an NPA officer. Sometimes Misa Amane and Kiyomi Takada are the same person. Sometimes you remember a lot. Sometimes you don’t remember a thing.’

He crafted universes with all that he could feel — greed, anger, confusion, hatred, love, malice, desire — they created beautiful nothingnesses and he believed in them all.

‘No! Stop! I can’t end here! I still have so much to do!’

Ryuk sighed. It seemed Light Yagami would still fight in nothingness next time. Why must there be a next time when there was no next time? ‘You sound the same every time, just like that first time.’

Light Yagami had forty seconds to comprehend Ryuk’s words.

—END—

Author’s notes:

Light’s mask in the snooker scene is loosely based on Asura from Buddhist legends — both god and demon, controlled by passions such as wrath, pride, violence and greed, always fighting, never at peace. I think it rather fits Light.

L’s mask is extremely loosely based on hone-onna from Japanese folklore. Hone-onna is a beautiful woman unknowingly rising from the dead to return to her loved one, and said loved one will have their life sucked out if they enjoy being with hone-onna too much and do not recognise the bone woman for what she is. Basically think the illusion produced by the Resurrection Stone in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. And as I said, it is an extremely loose reference.

Two of the many places you can read about Asura and hone-onna if anyone is interested:

http://yokai.com/ashura/

http://yokai.com/honeonna/

[glittergummicandypeach]

Rejecting parents’ religion: parenting advice from Care and Feeding.

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here or post it in the Slate Parenting Facebook group.

Dear Care and Feeding,

All my life I have raised my child Christian, and now as she moves on to college and has a boyfriend, I’ve got it out of her that they are atheists. It devastates me, but I also know it is up to her to get her salvation.

The above statements are what I know my parents feel. I am the atheist child.

What do I do to help my parents feel less crushed? I know they only want me to accept God again, but I just don’t believe. I understand their faith, I just don’t want them to continue to feel hurt by seeing me.

As I move on to hopefully marry someone who agrees with me on my views, I feel they will continue to be devastated. And, will cry tears of agony instead of joy if they attend my wedding.

I know my views could change, but I seriously just want to hear what I can do to lower their agony.

—Child Turned Away

Dear CTA,

You are a kind and gentle person. I’m actually very touched by the concern you express for your parents’ feelings. It indicates they are not being total D-bags to you about the situation, which is great, but also complicated: When parents are being total D-bags about your loss of faith (which may not be a loss for you), it’s a lot easier to tell them to pound sand and move on with your life. When parents just seem fragile and sad about it, a lot of protectiveness and misplaced guilt can kick in. Fragility and sadness can also be very effective tools of control. Don’t feel like you have to apologize, equivocate, or take on the burden of their sadness.

You’re no longer a child. You’re their child, but none of us get any guarantees about our children, I can assure you. I’m a generic Protestant who is pretty into it without being an evangelical, so my lovely and mega-progressive shit-stirring Catholic mom is only mildly disappointed I’m on the JV squad of God and not playing varsity, and my lovely atheist dad is mostly bemused, as he really did lay out a great case for Only the Sweet Release of the Cosmic Void Awaits Us All (frequently a very comforting thought in its own right). They’re fine. I have no idea if my children will turn out to want or seek or find faith. I believe in God and that one day the circle will be unbroken, but today I cried for (checks watch) almost 45 minutes about John Prine dying, so it’s certainly not a magic balm that eases all lives and has the power to protect us from the fear of death. Religion can be a real motherfucker, as history past and present shows us.

My answer is that I want you to try to first release this weighty sense of obligation for their feelings that so clearly presses on you. You have nothing to be sorry for. You didn’t burn down their garage. They have experienced a form of loss and that’s for them to work through. But you do feel a sense of obligation to lighten their load, and I want to acknowledge that and offer some words of help.

Don’t dangle any “well, who knows what the future holds?” carrots in front of them. If a burning bush speaks to you, you can handle that when it comes. Expectation management is one of the true keys of human existence.

You are a person with values. Some of those values probably came from your parents. You can thank them for those values, if they have helped you become the good person you clearly are, without needing to buy into the belief system that provided them to your parents in the first place. You can talk to them about your own values. You do not have to be the Best Atheist in the World Who Cares About All Living Things and Climate Change and Systemic Inequality Every Single Damn Day; you can just be yourself. You’re the same kid they had last year. A good person.

You can also, down the road, absolutely say, “If you are gonna cry tears of agony at my wedding, don’t come.” That’s nonsense. If they try to win you back to Christ with teary phone calls in the more immediate future, you can say, “Let’s talk in a few days when you’re calmer.”

Just be yourself, all of yourself, be gentle but firm, maintain boundaries when necessary, and love them the best you can. That’s all anyone can do. I also encourage you to be aware of your own sense of loss, if you ever do perceive it as such, and to seek help from secular counselors if you need to process it. That doesn’t have to mean “I miss believing in God”; it can mean “I am sad that my natural progression as a human who lives in the world has affected my most foundational relationships and need to mourn that.” I’m glad you have found meaning and happiness in your life, and I wish you all the joy in the world.

Dear Care and Feeding,

I have a 4-year-old son who hums loudly while eating food he really enjoys. My husband thinks this is inappropriate behavior at the table and is a problem to be corrected. I see absolutely nothing wrong with it and assume he will grow out of it. He’s a completely normal delightful/crazy-making 4-year-old.

I don’t want my husband wasting quality time with his son harping about something that doesn’t really matter. Am I wrong on this?

—Loves a Pleasant Tune

Dear LaPT,

Oh, what a deliciously small problem, thank you so much for this. Honestly, at 4, I think your husband is right that it’s time to phase out loud vocalizations during dinner. (If your son has any markers for any developmental issues other than joyous food humming, and it turns out to be a verbal stim, I would probe that first, and I would be more inclined to let him enjoy his humming.) In the absence of such a reason, it’s not going to go over great at school, it’s clearly annoying the heck out of your husband, and I enjoy tremendous numbers of things I cannot do in front of other people at a sit-down dinner. It does not have an impact on my human flourishing, I assure you.

I don’t think “please do not hum at the table” is “wasting quality time.” It’s just parenting. He’s not going to look back on his life and say, “If only the two weeks it spent me to get my kid not to sound like a bumblebee when we had stroganoff for dinner could have been spent tossin’ the old pigskin around.” This will be over quickly, and you will barely remember it. If your husband is the only aggravated party, obviously you can expect him to be the “no humming” point person on this. You do not have to chime in, but I would encourage you not to actively undermine him in his quest, which is always a mistake for nonabusive familial situations.

See, too, if there’s a way he can take this musical impulse and do something a little less disruptive with it. I don’t mean “get him a harmonica,” but he might enjoy learning to sing. Exchange the behavior for a more productive one, if possible.

Congratulations on being an excellent cook! If your husband is the excellent cook, please pass on my compliments.

• If you missed Thursday’s Care and Feeding column, read it here.

• Discuss this column in the Slate Parenting Facebook group!

Dear Care and Feeding,

Just like everyone these days, I fear COVID-19. I’m staying at home, going to the store only when necessary, etc. My boyfriend is a police officer, and although I know he is very cautious, I’m worried about him unintentionally infecting me due to him having to work and human interaction. I have an autoimmune disorder and have repeatedly told him these concerns, yet he still comes over daily. He knows it’s serious but at the same time thinks it’s completely overblown. I’ve been clear that I do not agree. He’s taking it personally which floors me. I’m at a complete loss on how to handle this at this point.

—Losing It in Longview

Dear LIiL,

I need clarity on one point: Have you told him directly that he needs to stop coming to your house? Because if you have, as opposed to just telling him you’re worried and concerned about your autoimmune condition and the possibility of exposure, then he is in direct violation of your personal autonomy and you need to a) break up with him and b) carefully, as he clearly does not respect a “no.”

If you haven’t said, “I need you to stop coming over until things are under control,” then you need to say it now, today, and if his response is that you might as well just break up, that’s his choice. If he continues to violate your wishes, see the above paragraph. Our essential workers are essential, but so is your health.

I am not a dating columnist, but you came to me and here I am. I do not like this situation for you.

Is It OK to Go to the Zoo During the Coronavirus Pandemic?

Dan Kois, Jamilah Lemieux, and Elizabeth Newcamp host this week’s episode of Slate’s parenting podcast, Mom and Dad Are Fighting.

Dear Care and Feeding,

I’m not doing well. Are other parents doing well? I feel like the only person drowning when I see Instagram posts of learning-and-chore charts. I have to “work from home” with two small kids, and there just aren’t enough hours in the day. We do our best to do the remote learning we’re given, but some days it’s “let’s read a few books and then watch educational shows on Netflix.”

—I Feel Like a Schlub

Dear IFLaS,

We live in strange times, as did all previous generations at one point or another (Joni Mitchell spent weeks in a polio ward with essentially zero contact with her parents when she was 9 and still wrote “The Last Time I Saw Richard” eventually). You’re doing fine. Instagram is a lie. Be kind to yourself, do your best, and remember that every other kid is going to eventually return to school in a slightly more feral state and will need to catch up on things. The teachers know this. It’s just reality. You do not have to be a superstar; you just need to get through this. I also feel like I’m dropping the ball constantly, and I’m supposed to be a professional.

We’re in this together. Most kids have two months of essentially no education every summer, and yet they manage to grow and flourish and learn. One year where every kid gets double summer is not going to amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Younger kids, like yours, are going to barely remember this.

I let my kids watch part of Thor: Ragnarok yesterday. We’re all just making it through the day. My friends who are teachers are struggling just like everyone else. I think you’re great.

— Nicole

More Advice From Slate

My loving, kind boyfriend of five years has spent the last 10 months in prison. He was off to a great start in his profession when a friend snitched and he got in trouble for possession with intent to distribute an illegal drug (that is legal one state over). He is now getting out of jail in his early 30s with more than $180,000 in student loan debt, a felony conviction, and is losing his professional license. We have stayed together during this ordeal, and luckily my family and friends are very supportive. I love him dearly and can’t wait for him to be home, but as his release date gets closer, I am starting to have a return of some of the anxiety symptoms I began having after his arrest. I work full time in a field I am very passionate about and could eventually be employed by the government. I am worried about how his record will affect me in the long term. I also sometimes feel that I am being a real idiot for staying with him due to his poor decisions. However, I am crazy about him, and we have so much fun together all the time. Any advice?

Get more Care and Feeding

Slate Plus members get more parenting advice every week. They also help support Slate’s journalism.

This content was originally published here.

[luwaonline]

VII. The Smart City: There’s No Place Like Home

“We use our imagination and creativity to bring memories and history back to the future in a different way.” ― Yosuke Hayana

Despite being in New York, the beauty of Slack allowed me to keep in contact with the group regardless of time differences. The team updated me about the group trip to Greenwich to see the Rush and Slices of Time Exhibitions. 

Inspired by this, New York, the previous Silvertown visit, and our pivoted focus on the forgotten history of the Thames, I wanted to pay a visit to my old stomping ground - Wapping for a first-hand experience of the river. Living next to the Thames a few years ago I knew just the right place to cut through, that opened up to the shoreline. 

On the shoreline rests Prospect of Whitby, the UK’s oldest riverside tavern with its original hanging noose. I couldn’t help but look at up and think about the people that had lost the fight against its grip to and the people that came to watch. What did they think that day? How did they feel about it? The juxtaposition of such an ugly thing surrounded by the beauty of the river was slightly eery.

Prospect of Whitby with its original hanging noose

By chance, I spotted someone paying more attention to the river than others. Dressed warmly to protect against the bracing wind with muddy green boots to shield his feet from the lapping tide, the man pulled a spade-like object from his bag before kneeling down to dig. I watched for a while, intrigued. I took the chance and struck up a conversation, only to find out he was a Mudlark! 

A mudlark (Richard), foraging early on Saturday morning

Richard downed tools while we spoke:

“I come here on the weekend, I haven’t been doing this long… maybe 2 months, but it’s pretty cool. It’s a different way to discover the city. I usually find bits of pieces of pottery. I’ve found a few pipes too… The best thing I’ve found is a whole pottery head, and it gets you thinking; how did that get there? What’s the story behind that?!”

...

“I had to get a permit to do this, but it only took a month to get. I’m kinda new to the area so I thought it would be a cool way to explore it. A friend told me about it. I work just round the corner, sometimes I come on my lunch break.”

...

“I don’t really share my finds with anyone else, it’s something special for me… to remember the day. I don’t think many mudlarks share their finds. I keep mine to myself.”

I asked if he wouldn’t mind telling me about what he’d uncovered today but he declined, showing me just how private mudlarks are. I felt very privileged to get a brief insight into the mudlarking world, especially because they remain so elusive both online and offline. Despite trying to make inroads through joining Facebook communities, our group remained very much on the outside. 

After he left, I hung around for a while watching the tide wash in and out, each time depositing little treasures when the water touched the sand. Inspired, I cleared away some stones and dug. After a few minutes, I’d uncovered two bones, a surprisingly sturdy twig, a coin and a shard of a glass bottle.

Some of my ‘mudlark’ finds from Wapping riverbank by Crane Place passage

I reflected on Richard’s words thinking about my finds and the stories behind them, tiny monuments holding such big stories. On sharing my finds and impromptu conversation with the group, we agreed that although mudlarks are notoriously elusive, this means that the objects and stories they uncover live and die with them. The river is a key monument in the city. Even though it is highly visible, running through the entire city, it holds a rich history that is buried in the depths of the rive, waiting to be discovered. Our preferable world has a responsibility to ensure these stories are available to be heard. 

The finds sparked a great discussion between the group as we thought about how to incorporate these seemingly unimportant objects into our design. On the journey home after our meeting, my mind was racing. Looking at the bones I collected for inspiration and design ideas, I thought about Richard. Although he was finding and collecting objects, they were only seen and felt by him. They were only interpreted by him. They were only kept by him, never to be ‘added’ to history. I realised these tiny monuments are cultural probes in themselves, holding history, culture, knowledge, memory and emotion. What if these object facets could be stretched beyond mudlarks? What would it mean for city dwellers if these objects could talk? 

The following week in our meeting, I proposed this idea to the group. We speculated on how the memory of an object could be distilled into a Mudlark and how that memory could move beyond them. Together we sketched the river, thinking on what surrounds and is a part of it, mud, riverbanks, slime, weeds and reeds. This brought up thoughts from Greenwich and the inverted reeds. How can a reed that is so prominent in the river fit into the narrative? Maybe a mudlark could use the read to draw out the memory? What about a message in a bottle that reveals itself when the river dries up? What if the read or the bottle was only discovered when the tide went in and out? But what do they do with the finds? But how do we protect their privacy? What about a kiosk on the shore, where mudlarks can log their finds? How can they share them? I appreciated the spirit we had in this session because ideas we’re never torn down, instead pivoted and built upon. It felt like the improv method yes and? used by comedians to extend a thought. We had a lot of ideas on the table (literally!) which made me wonder how we might start to document it. I suggested the imagery of the Thames using its length to document the past, present and future in regard to our process, with movement to the possible world showing more clarity with each week. Tania later posted a message on Slack, perfectly representing our thoughts in a sketch, while Chris had on early thoughts on the kiosk functionality:

Tania’s sketch of our potential physical output

Chris’ drawing of a potential physical output presenting an object’s  audio

In Ada Lovelace over three hours, I feel we had our most productive meeting yet. Sadly, due to unforeseen world circumstances, this would be the last meeting we had in person.

(1102 words)

[stopkingobama]

BREAKING: New Clinton Emails Reveal Pay For Play Schemes, Mishandled Classified Info

Image Credit: Gage Skidmore CC by SA 2.0

Judicial Watch today released 1,617 new pages of documents from the U.S. Department of State revealing numerous additional examples of classified information being transmitted through the unsecure, non-state.gov account of Huma Abedin, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton’s deputy chief of staff, as well as many instances of Hillary Clinton donors receiving special favors from the State Department.

The documents included 97 email exchanges with Clinton not previously turned over to the State Department, bringing the known total to date to at least 627emails that were not part of the 55,000 pages of emails that Clinton turned over, and further contradicting a statement by Clinton that, “as far as she knew,” all of her government emails had been turned over to department.

The emails are the 20th production of documents obtained in response to a court order in a May 5, 2015, lawsuit Judicial Watch filed against the State Department (Judicial Watch, Inc. v. U.S. Department of State (No. 1:15-cv-00684)). Judicial Watch sued after State failed to respond to a March 18, 2015, Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) request seeking: “All emails of official State Department business received or sent by former Deputy Chief of Staff Huma Abedin from January 1, 2009 through February 1, 2013 using a non-‘state.gov’ email address.”

On September 11, 2009, the highly sensitive name and email address of the person giving the classified Presidential Daily Brief was included in an email forwarded to Abedin’s unsecure email account by State Department official Dan Fogerty.

The State Department produced many more Clinton and Abedin unsecured emails that were classified:

On March 8, 2009, Clinton sent classified information using her unsecure hdr22@clintonmail.com account.  She forwarded to former Senator George Mitchell an email from Tony Blair relating to Palestine. The email had been sent to her at hr15@att.blackberry.net. Clinton responded to Blair, saying she had forwarded the email to Mitchell. A former Senate majority leader, Mitchell was serving as Special Envoy for Middle East Peace.

On April 16, 2009, Deputy Assistant Secretary Jeffrey Feltman sent to Abedin’s unsecure email account classified information about an unknown subject.

On June 18, 2009, Abedin sent classified information summarizing a June 18, 2009, “Middle East Breakfast” meeting between various senators, representatives and State Department officials, at which Deputy Secretary Jack Lew and George Mitchell briefed the congressmen with “an update on our discussions with the [Middle East] parties.”

On June 23, 2009, U.S. diplomat Martin Indyk, who had his security clearance suspended in 2000 for “possible sloppiness” in the handling of classified information, sent a memo containing classified information to Abedin’s unsecure email account.  The memo, written for Clinton, pertained to Indyk’s discussions with top Israeli officials:

Could I ask you to review the memo below that I wrote yesterday on my return from Israel?  If you think it worthwhile, I’d be very grateful if you showed it to HRC (I have already shared it with Mitchell and Feltman). A confrontation with Bibi appears imminent.  I’ve never been one to shy away from that, as she may know.  But it has to be done carefully, and that doesn’t appear to be happening.  And I’m concerned that she will be tarred with the same brush if this leads to a bad end.  So I think she needs to make sure that the friction is productive.  I’ve made some suggestions at the end of the memo

On August 1, 2009, Abedin forwarded classified information from State Department official Richard Verma to her unsecure email account.  The email from Senator Russ Feingold was sent to Hillary Clinton regarding her upcoming Africa trip.

On August 4, 2009, Assistant Secretary Jeffrey Feltman sent classified information about discussions with Kuwaiti officials to Abedin’s unsecure email account.  Feltman noted that the Kuwaitis felt a lunch they had with Obama was “chilly.”  The discussions concerned Guantanamo as well as Kuwait’s treatment of detainees.

On Sept 20, 2009, Abedin forwarded classified information to her unsecure email account. The email was from State Department official Esther Brimmer and concerned foreign leaders’ discussions regarding a UNESCO leadership appointment.

On November 1, 2009, U.S. Ambassador to the UAE Rick Olson sent classified information to Abedin’s unsecure email account. The email shows that Olsen was traveling with Hillary in the Middle East, and Abedin asked him to “work on a list of everything covered in the mbz [presumably Mohammed bin Zayed bin Sultan Al-Nahyan, the Crown Prince of Abu Dhabi] meeting for Hillary.” Olson asks: “do you want it on this system (I can sanitize), or on the other system.” She replies: “This system easier. We are staying without class[ified] computers. Thx.”

On December 1, 2009, Abedin sent classified information about foreign military contributions to the Afghanistan war effort to her unsecure email account. The email originated with State official Sean Misko who wrote to Deputy Chief of Staff Jake Sullivan that he first “accidentally” sent it on the “high side” (secure) but was resending.

On December 25, 2009, Abedin sent to her unsecure email account classified information prepared by Deputy U.S. Ambassador to Afghanistan Francis Ricciardone concerning the Afghan elections.

On December 26, 2009, U.S. Ambassador to Mexico Carlos Pascual sent a memo to Clinton, which was found on Abedin’s unsecure email account. It contained extensive classified information involving U.S. and Mexican counter-drug operations in Mexico.

On March 22, 2010, Abedin forwarded to her unsecure email account classified information about a telephone conversation between President Obama and Mexican President Felipe Calderon.

On April 13, 2010, Abedin forwarded to her unsecure email account classified information from Ambassador Jeffrey Feltman regarding diplomatic discussions with the foreign ministers of Algeria and Morocco.

On May 24, 2010, Abedin forwarded to her unsecure email account classified information about the minutes of a State Department senior staff meeting regarding State Department officials’ meetings in Uganda.

Among Abedin’s unsecure email records is a document that is simply titled “NOTE” with the date September 12, 2010. The contents are entirely redacted as classified.

On January 28, 2011, Abedin sent Clinton an unsecure email containing classified information relating to a briefing White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs gave.

On March 21, 2012, Clinton received a memo from State Department officials Joseph Yun and Derek Mitchell marked “Sensitive But Unclassified” and sent to Abedin’s unsecure email account. It contained classified information about elections in Burma.

Jake Sullivan emailed to Hillary’s unsecure email account classified information in which Sullivan discussed the content of conversations with UK Prime Minister Gordon regarding “the situation” in Northern Ireland. The date of this email is not included on the document.

On April 8, 2012, Abedin sent classified information to her unsecure email regarding a call sheet and an “Action Memo” for Clinton relating to a call with Malawi President Joyce Banda. On April 9, 2012, Monica Hanley again forwarded the classified information to Clinton’s unsecure email account.

Other emails contain sensitive information that was sent via Hillary Clinton’s unsecure email servers.

On August 18, 2009, confidential assistant Monica Hanley provided Abedin with laptop and fob (a physical device that provides a login code) logins and passwords to log onto a laptop, as well as a secure State Department website at https://one.state.gov. Included were a PIN number and instructions on how to access her email from the secure State Department website. Abedin forwarded this information to her unsecure account.

(The FBI interviewed Clinton’s confidential assistant Monica Hanley in its probe of Clinton’s email practices, and State’s Diplomatic Security staff reprimandedher after she left classified material behind in a Moscow hotel room. Hanley was the staffer tasked with finding BlackBerry phones for Clinton to use.)

On August 19, 2009, Hanley asked Abedin to call her and provide Abedin’s computer password so that she could download a UN document for Cheryl Mills from Abedin’s computer. Instead of calling Hanley, Abedin apparently provided the computer password in her unsecure reply email, saying, “Its [redacted].”

On April 17, 2009, Clinton aide Lona Valmoro emailed Clinton’s sensitive daily schedule for April 18 to various Clinton Foundation officials, including Doug Band, Terry Krinvic and Justin Cooper. She also forwarded Clinton’s daily schedule for July 16 to numerous Clinton Foundation officials. She did the same thing on September 8, 2009. She did so again on January 10, January 14 and April 11, 2010.

The details of Hillary’s arrival on November 18, 2009, in war-torn Kabul, Afghanistan, for the inauguration of President Karzai, were found on Abedin’s unsecure email account. Included were precise times of landing at Kabul Airport, the occupants of her vehicle, arrival and departure times at the U.S. Embassy in Kabul, and meeting times with U.S. forces in Afghanistan.

The new documents show that Clinton donors frequently requested and received special favors from the State Department that were connected to the Clinton Foundation.

On July 14, 2009, Gordon Griffin, a XL Keystone lobbyist, sent an email to Clinton Foundation executive Doug Band, asking if Band could get him into a Council on Foreign Relations dinner at which Clinton was speaking. Band forwarded the email to Abedin, saying, “Can u get him in?” Abedin replied: “Yes will get him in.” Band was a top aide to President Bill Clinton and co-founder of Teneo. Griffin was a major donor to Hillary Clinton’s Senate and presidential campaigns.

On July 16, 2009, Zachary Schwartz asked Band for help getting visas to travel to Cuba for a film production crew from Shangri La Entertainment. Band forwarded the request to Abedin, telling her, “Please call zach asap on this. [Redacted.] Important.” Abedin responded, “I’ll call zach when we land in India.” Abedin concludes with “Enjoy. Cuba is complicated. Am sure you aren’t surprised to hear that.” Schwartz worked for Steve Bing, a mega-donor to the Clintons and owner of Shangri La Entertainment. Bing has reportedly donated $10-25 million to the Clinton Foundation and paid Bill Clinton personally $2.5 million a year to be an adviser to a green construction company Bing owned.

On September 11, 2009, Terrence Duffy, chairman of futures brokerage firm CME Group, a donor to the Clinton Foundation, asked Clinton to arrange “government appointments” for him in Singapore and Hong Kong. Clinton, using her HDR22@clintonmail.com address, forwarded the request to Abedin, “fyi.” Abedin responded to Duffy’s email, saying she would “follow up” with Duffy’s secretary, Joyce. Duffy gave $4,600 to Hillary’s 2008 presidential campaign; CME Group paid Hillary $225,000 for a speaking fee and has donated between $5,001 and 10,000 to the Clinton Foundation.

Abedin, using her huma@clintonmail.com address, later told Joyce, “Would like to get some more information and details so we can try to help.” Further along in the exchange, Joyce responds “We would also like some help in arranging meetings with some key govt officials in both locations, such as the Prime Minister of Singapore, and would appreciate any help you may be able to provide.”

On September 29, 2009, Abedin followed up with Duffy, telling him that “we are happy to assist with any and all meetings” and that she had “discussed you and your trip with our assistant secretary of state for east asia and pacific affairs,” suggesting that Duffy write the assistant secretary, Kurt Campbell. Duffy replied, “Thank you very much. I did connect with Kurt Campbell today.”

On May 5, 2010, major Clinton Global Initiative member, Clinton Foundation donor and real estate developer Eddie Trump forwarded to “Dougie” Band a request for assistance from Russian American Foundation Vice President Rina Kirshner to get the Russian American Foundation involved in a State Department program. Band forwarded the request to Abedin, saying, “Can we get this done/mtg set.” As Judicial Watch previously reported, the State Department doled out more than $260,000 to the Russian American Foundation for “public diplomacy.”

Major Clinton donor Bal Das, a New York financier who reportedly raised $300,000 for Hillary’s 2008 presidential campaign, asked Abedin on November 11, 2009 if Hillary Clinton could address the Japan Society at its annual conference in 2010. Clinton did speak to the Japan Society’s annual conference in 2011.

The emails also provide insight on the inner workings of the Clinton State Department, in particular her engagement with her staff.

In a May 19, 2009, “Global Press Conference” memo, Clinton was given in advance the “proposed questions” of four of the seven foreign reporters. Examples include: “What is the Obama administration’s view of Australian PM Rudd’s proposal to form an Asia-Pacific Community” and “Why can’t American drones not find, detect and destroy the insurgency supply line?”

In a document entitled “HRC Pakistan Notes” prepared for Clinton by her staff, Clinton apparently had to be reminded about all her trips to Pakistan and of “stories that you have told/remember.” Her reminder instructions include: “You loved Faisal mosque, and it was especially meaningful to have CVC [Chelsea] with you.” And: “Your first Pakistani friend was in College. She introduced you to Pakistani food and clothes.” And: “You have had lots of Pakistani and Pakistani American friends over the years. From Chicago to California to Washington, DC, you have friends all over the country. They know how much you love Pakistani food …”

On February 12, 2010, Case Button, a Clinton speechwriter, asked Abedin if her mother, a professor at Dar Al Hekma, a women’s university in Saudi Arabia where Clinton held a town hall meeting, would be willing to give him advice on talking points he was preparing for Clinton. Abedin responded, “Talk to my mom for sure. She will have good points for you.” After reviewing Hillary’s draft remarks, Huma’s mother, Saleha Abedin, (a controversial Islamist activist), offered some advice: “Do not use the political terms such as ‘democracy/elections/freedom.’ Do not use the term ‘empowerment of women’ instead say ‘enabling women’ Do not even mention driving for women! Don’t sound sympathetic to ‘women’s plight’ or be ‘patronizing’ as other visitors have done and made the students extremely annoyed. They rightly consider these as in-house issues …” No references to these issues appear in Clinton’s speech.

Abedin’s involvement in a major appointment at the State Department is controversial given that Abedin’s mother was an Islamist activist. On July 24, 2009, Cheryl Mills forwarded to Abedin a CV for someone being considered for the position of Special Envoy to the Organization of Islamic Cooperation. It had been sent to Mills from State Department recruiter Margaret Carpenter. Rather than forwarding the resume on to Clinton for her approval, Abedin simply responds to Mills: “I’m a hundred percent fine with him.”

Abedin also offered her opinion to Clinton on administration leaders: On January 21, 2011, while on a trip to Mexico, Abedin emailed Hillary that “Biden is a disaster here.”

On February 20, 2012, Clinton expresses outrage over an apparent wardrobe miscommunication for a meeting in Mexico and sent an email to Abedin with the subject line “I’m venting.” Clinton admonished:

So, here I sit in the meeting surrounded by ever other person dressed in a white shirt provided by the Mexicans. Patricia is not wearing the exact style that all others are but her own white shirt. But, since no one ever told me about this, and instead assumed I didn’t need to know, I had no idea about any of this until I just walked into the large meeting in front of the entire press corps and I’m wearing a green top. So, what’s my answer when asked why I think I’m different than all my colleagues and why I’m dissing our hosts?

I am sick of people deciding what I should know rather than giving me the info so I can make a decision. This really annoys me and I told Monica [Hanley] I just didn’t understand.

“The emails show ‘what happened’ was that Hillary Clinton and Huma Abedin obviously violated laws about the handling of classified information and turned the State Department into a pay for play tool for the corrupt Clinton Foundation,” said Judicial Watch President Tom Fitton. “The clear and mounting evidence of pay for play and mishandling of classified information warrant a serious criminal investigation by an independent Trump Justice Department.”

To read more about Huma Abedin’s emails, click here.

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