#You know i started writing this fic as like... mindless smut

[ericscroptop]

Wet Dreams

✧ pairing: eric sohn x mid-size/chubby fem! reader

✦ genre: friends to lovers + smut

✧ warnings: 18+ (minors DNI) smut, kissing, cursing, slight angst, inexperienced reader, hand job, male receiving, lots of spit, fondling, praising/praise kink, pet names, talk of insecurities, body issues, internalized fat phobia, etc., pls be cautious because i know it can be a sensitive topic for some!

✦ word count: 9.3k words (LMAOOOO)

✧ synopsis: your friend eric invites you over to his house for a swim and it is then that you realize eric wants you in ways you would’ve never imagined for yourself.

✦ note: this fic is kinda self indulgent—written as someone who is mid-size/chubby and has insecurities. i just want people who have a chubbier/thicker/fat body to feel loved and be included explicitly in writings because we are all deserving of love and affection!

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You hated swimming.

Well— okay, so you didn’t actually hate swimming.

Your disinterest for the activity was not rooted in swimming itself, but for the fact that you’d have to wear some sort of bikini in order to swim.

Technically, there wasn’t a law that said you had to wear a bikini to the beach or the pool. There are plenty of people who happily choose to wear something like a t-shirt or cover-up that’s more generous while swimming for whatever reason.

There are also a plethora of bathing suits that exist, so there’s gotta be one that you feel comfortable in, right?

The thing is, you plainly felt insecure in showing skin. You were insecure of your arms that seemed to carry excess fat that was especially visible when you moved them. Your belly hung low and it honestly was more plump than your behind. You also had skin-colored stretch marks that decorated your lower back that never seemed to go away.

These were things about you that you constantly dwelled on no matter what. You couldn’t recall a day where the topic of your body didn’t flood your mind.

You had no problem in people showing skin at all. At the end of the day, the problem was simply your lack of confidence due to society’s beauty standards that have been shoved in your face, pressed into your mind, and flooded your ears for as long as you could remember.

Though today, you were attempting at conquering your insecurities and finally stepping out of your comfort zone.

It was scorching in L.A. today. It was too hot to go out but also too hot to just rot in your home all day. Even with air conditioning, you just felt nasty.

Your friend Eric invited you to come to his house for a nightly swim. A wave of anxiety hit you when you had read his text of the invitation. First of all, he was a guy— of which, you found insanely attractive.

He was a friend that you made in your Sociology course. You remembered how he randomly approached you one day to ask a question mid-semester about something that he could’ve easily found the answer to if he looked back at the syllabus.

Though, you were happy to help anyone who needed it and answered him nicely. Or maybe it was merely because he was probably the prettiest boy you had ever laid eyes on that actually approached you, so you didn’t think twice to reply to him—but you would never let anyone know that. He was appreciative, and since then, he decided to cling onto you since you showed him courtesy.

You honestly thought he would’ve forgotten about your presence or only come to you when he needed help, but he actually started sitting with you and even distracting you with mindless but entertaining conversations during lectures.

While you started looking forward to coming into class and now having someone to talk to, your only interest in the class became the charming guy who was energetic and always made you smile from ear to ear. You eventually told Eric that you needed to prioritize your lectures and cut back on the excessive side conversations during class. He decided to take that as an opportunity to ask for your number, so you guys could hangout outside the classroom.

You were shocked that he wanted to be your friend. You didn’t feel as charming or alluring as he was, but he still found interest in you. You guys started hanging out and doing things like studying (or trying to at least) and doing miscellaneous activities at least once a week.

He became your best friend all of a sudden. You were super grateful that he came into your life, but you still felt nervous around him. He was such a good guy. You didn’t want to take your friendship for granted.

Eric was also super outgoing and friendly, while you were more reserved and it was rare for you to make new friends and be spontaneous. Sometimes, you still wonder why he decided to become your friend.

Maybe you felt this way due to your insecurities, or maybe it was because you had this lingering feeling of butterflies in your stomach every time you guys were together. Maybe it was a mixture of both.

Anyways, for whatever the reason, you just tried to be a good friend to the guy. You didn’t want to fuck anything up and so you tried your best to please Eric and not be a burden in any way.

Now, you find yourself looking at your reflection in the mirror of Eric’s guest bathroom. You tug on your favorite oversized Spongebob shirt that you own, pulling it to where it ends just below your bottom. You were getting ready to finally swim, and Eric was already out by the pool waiting while you freshen up and change.

You sighed at your reflection with both of your hands placed against your hips, wondering why the fuck you’re feeling so uneasy.

You actually surprised yourself by deciding to wear a bikini for tonight. You purchased one awhile back just for the heck of it, even if you never mustered up the courage to wear it. The bikini was high-waisted and red with a twist front on the bottoms. The bikini top was also red and a wireless bra. It was actually super comfortable against your skin and red was a striking color, but all you saw in the mirror was your plump stomach screaming at you to be covered, and your cleavage just wasn’t elevated enough to your liking. Your arms were also bothering you, as you could only focus on the excess fat that was noticeable as you moved them. You probably were gonna look like a whale next to Eric and the thought made you uncomfortable mixed with embarrassed.

So that’s why you brought a t-shirt to swim in just incase you chickened out. There’s nothing wrong with having a shirt on in the pool. I mean, it’s normal! Though, you couldn’t help but feel ashamed that you felt like shielding yourself and not letting yourself wear that bikini freely. It was only going to be you two together, so why were you making it so complicated?

“Fucking hell.” you sharply inhaled and let out a heavy sigh. You stared deeply into the mirror one last time, picking at your skin as you had no makeup on. Another thing you felt insecure about. You always had makeup on around Eric, but this time you didn’t for obvious reasons. “Ugh, whatever.” you groaned out before finally leaving the bathroom, fed up with all this negativity you felt towards yourself.

I mean, why did you care so fucking much? You knew deep down that Eric would never judge you. Any normal person wouldn’t think so hard about going for a swim. This is a casual activity, why were you overthinking it?

You walked through Eric’s massive house towards his patio. You already knew the ropes around his house, since this wasn’t your first time here. Though, you had only been here for things like baking brownies on Friday nights and playing Super Mario Party on the Nintendo Switch, not for using the pool.

You reached the glass sliding door that opened the patio and led yourself outside. His patio lights were on, illuminating his backyard so that it wasn’t completely dark out. You spotted Eric sitting on one of the pool chairs, mindlessly scrolling through Instagram reels obnoxiously loud on his phone. He seemed to be passing time while waiting for you before he got into the pool.

“Hey, you.” you made your way over to where he was sitting with a smile on your face.

Eric perked up at the sound of your voice and abandoned his phone, twisting his body towards you. “Finally! I was seriously about to call you to ask what’s taking so long.” Eric mimicked your smile and adjusted his arms to where they were now leaning back behind him.

You felt a flush of heat wave over your body, not due to the humid summer night, but due to Eric’s appearance. His hair has been permed for a while now and you just can’t help but admire how good he looks in curly hair. His dark brown curls complemented his naturally tanned-skin so well. He’s also already shirtless, in nothing but a pair of blue swim shorts and a chain adorning his neck. He also had a cute bracelet around his wrist and small hoops that dangled from his ears as they always did. Every detail of him just looked so beautiful to you.

You mentally slap yourself for gawking at your best friend. You scoffed in response, “I don’t doubt that you would’ve.”

He chuckles as he rises from his chair, brows furrowing in confusion as his eyes run down the length of your body. “I thought you were changing into your bathing suit?” he asked curiously.

The tips of your ears go hot as he questions. You stare at him like a deer in headlights, fingers going down to fidget with the tips of your hair.

“Oh yeah, I just didn’t like how it looked at me.” you shyly admitted. You couldn’t lie to Eric over small matters. Even if you were embarrassed, you still felt complied to always be honest when he asks you something. Though, it was hard to have deep conversations with Eric because he was a guy— of which, you possibly have a small crush on. This was all new to you and you were still learning on how to navigate your friendship.

“Why?” he simply asked, staring at you, eyes full of concern. You bit your lip as he looked at you, your body starting to get a little tense.

“I dunno, I just am not used to wearing a swimsuit,” you shrugged. ���I actually don’t go swimming often so I’m not used to wearing one. I typically would just wear a shirt like I am now.” You rubbed your left foot against your right ankle as you spoke, starting to feel awkward in having this conversation.

“Oh,” was all Eric said, starting to frown a bit but quickly shook his head and crossed his arms. “You know, I don’t care what you wear as long as it makes you comfortable, but right now, it’s just you and me here,” he subtly smiles. “We’re gonna be in the water having fun and cooling off. I don’t want to pressure you or anything, but you’re safe around me.” Eric reassures you and you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

You half smile while looking down at your feet. “I know.” you simply agreed.

You suddenly look up at the feeling of his dominant hand now on your left shoulder, patting it reassuringly. “Y/n, you don’t have to be shy in front of me. We’re good friends, let’s be comfortable with each other, yeah?” His eyes were full of tenderness as you met his gaze. You pouted your lips playfully in attempt to not get sappy at his words.

He was right though. You just want to have fun and you’re letting your insecurities get the best of you. You know Eric isn’t an asshole. He never judges anyone’s appearance and you know he’s a sweetheart.

You nod your head as you take in his words. “Thanks Eric, really.” your face flushed as he shook his head.

“You don’t need to thank me. I know people wear shirts in the pool but when I picked you up earlier, you said you brought a swimsuit, so I figured you wanted to wear it. You don’t have to feel shy.”

He licks his lips and pauses for a moment before continuing, “You always look good.” Eric rubbed the back of his neck and shyly looked to the side as his voice faltered uttering that last part. Your lips parted slightly as you processed that compliment. The corner of your lips then curled upwards and you let out a soft chuckle.

“Okay, I guess you’ve convinced me. It’s just us, right?” you said rhetorically, sighing deeply. I mean, you were mainly going to be in the water anyways, so why trip over this?

Eric smiles seeing you finally deciding to remove your t-shirt, allowing your bikini to be worn properly. You toss the shirt onto the chair he was sitting at, and adjust your bathing suit top’s straps. He timidly looks away as you do, grabbing his phone to connect it to his speaker to play some music while you guys swim.

You start moving towards the pool, ready to finally do what you came here to do and allow yourself to enjoy this time. Eric looks back up at you dancing to the song he put on while making way into the pool, your locks of hair twirling around your back with each step. His gaze then ‘accidentally’ wanders down to your red bottoms, his cheeks flushing once realizing he’s checking you out.

Oh wow. he thinks to himself as he squeezes his eyes shut for a moment to tame his thoughts, rubbing his lips against each other. He then hears you call out to him that the water feels good and to come join him.

Eric puts his phone down and looks at you, your form hidden underneath water, splashing and gleaming as your body felt more relaxed now.

“I’m coming!” He shouts before he starts running towards your direction. You start grinning at his words because you have a dirty ass mind, but it immediately falters once you realize he’s gonna cannonball. Your brows knitted as he made way closer, both hands shielding your face and eyes closed once he plunges into the pool, creating splashes of waves in your direction.

“Eric!” you playfully scold him for of course having to jump into the pool like a maniac. You rub your face after the splashes drenched your face and hair, tucking your hair back behind your ears, sucking in a breath. Eric emerges from beneath the water breathing heavily, laughing as he sticks his tongue out, grazing it over the corner of his lip.

“You’re such a guy.” you scoff at him, rolling your eyes. Eric raises a brow and then begins to splash more water your way. “I’m only having fun!” Eric raises both hands from his sides, gesturing to the pool and cheekily smiling at you as he shakes his head gently.

———————————————————————————

You two swam for about an hour. You guys tossed a beach ball for awhile, chatted about old gossip you always brought up when together, and even played mermaids upon your request— to which created plenty of laughter on your part seeing Eric take his role very seriously for awhile.

He then pleaded for you guys to race— which you initially declined, having no interest. He pouted at your disinterest, but started racing anyways. Water splashed all over your face for the nth time as he swam to the opposite end of the pool, leaving you behind sulking and rolling your eyes.

“I’m getting out!” you yelled and lifted yourself out the pool. Eric continued racing himself as you walked away to grab some towels nearby for the both of you. Once he made it to the end, he let out a sigh at your lack of desire to race. He clearly wanted to spend more time together in the water, but you were all tired out.

He sees your figure loosely drying your hair, and makes his way out the pool towards you. You met his gaze and nodded your head towards a towel you laid out for him. He silently thanked you and began drying himself, then wrapping it around his waist.

You ditched the now-damp towel you used for your hair and wrapped a fresh one around your figure, almost like a blanket. You both sat down together on one of the long pool chairs, soaking in the night while letting the air dry you guys some more.

“Do you wanna order some food? I’m really hungry,” Eric turns to look at you, your eyes meeting his at the sound of his voice.

“Yeah, before my stomach starts growling.” you chuckle as Eric smiles.

“Does pizza sound good? The usual, right?” Eric asks even though he’s already looking through his contacts, searching for the number of a local pizza place that has become a regular for you guys.

“Yes, please.” You cuddle into your towel as Eric calls the number, the pizza place answering after two rings.

He began ordering you guy’s usual and you can’t help but stare at him while he talks on the phone. His curly hair is wettish from all the swimming, some of the curls falling past his forehead. Every so often he’d toss his head a little to shake the hanging curls away from his eyes.

You just couldn’t help but admire how fine your best friend was. It was a crime that he walked around looking like a god. The jawline he had could probably leave a cut on your skin if you brushed against it with how defined it was. His side profile was beyond alluring and would make you double take when passing a glance. His beautiful, bronzed skin made him look so godly.

And he even had such a nice body. Eric frequented the gym, and his abs and muscles were definitely proof of that. He was proud of his body, and did his best to keep his prominent muscles defined by working on himself consistently. He was dripping with good looks.

Eric ends the call eventually and you’re ripped away from your wandering thoughts, crushing hard over your best friend.

“Whatcha thinking about?” Eric speaks in a playful tone, meeting your gaze after putting his phone down.

You awkwardly begin to laugh. “Just about how hungry I am.” you obviously lie.

Eric cocks his head and shoots you a grin. “You were staring at me, though.”

Your teeth began to tug on your bottom lip, before letting out another nervous laugh as you looked to the side.

“Well… I guess I was just waiting for you to finish ordering.” you replied nonchalantly, making a weak attempt at putting on a poker face even though you’ve already failed.

“You love spending time with me, huh? Can’t get enough of me?” Eric playfully hits your arm with his elbow, causing an ‘ow’ to escape your lips even though it barely hurt.

“Why do you always have to be such a tease?” you wrinkled your nose in question.

“‘Cause I like you,” Eric casually admits like nothing, his eyes having been scanning over your face this whole time since having ended the call.

Your lips parted as you blinked harshly, eventually letting free a forced laugh and your face forms a lopsided grimace.

“Can you be serious right now?” you scratched your head as you looked at Eric.

“I am.” Eric spoke softly, losing the playful tone completely.

He felt like he was gonna explode at his random confession. What you thought was harmless teasing was him actually flirting and him having romantic interest in you. You guys started out as friends but as time went on, he fell for you. After all the conversations and hangouts, he got to know you better and even from the first day, he thought you were such a pretty girl.

Though, he didn’t know when the proper time to confess was or if he even wanted to. You guys have such a solid friendship, and it seemed like you were fine with your stance.

Then again, you were very timid, so you often held back any talk involving feelings— at least with him. You weren’t the type to open up first. He usually had to question you to get an answer out of you— as much as you were willing to say, anyways.

“Like… as friends, right?” Confusion flooded your face as you hadn’t a clue of where he was going with this.

“Yeah, but… what if I said I meant it as more than that?” Eric had this hope-filled look clouding his face. He looked at you anticipating that you felt the same. Even at his random confession, he hopes that you can see how serious he is. That he didn’t just fuck up your friendship by making things weird and that you get the hint that he wants to be more with you.

“Okay— this is not funny. Literally, what are you going on about?” you scoffed and shook your head. You honestly couldn’t believe what he was alluding to. It just can’t be. No way in hell is Eric Sohn admitting that he likes you in that way. No damn way.

“I would never in my life joke about something like this, Y/n. I know this is out of no where— hell, I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to tell you because I already appreciate what I have with you.” Eric sucked in a breath before continuing. “But I selfishly want to be more. After all this time together, I just can’t help but wanna be able to hold you and call you my girlfriend every time I am around you.”

“I… I honestly think i’ve fallen in love with you.” Eric breathed out and swallowed hard as he looked at your now-incredulous expression, his own eyes widening as he realized what he just said. Your mouth’s open in shock as you blinked excessively, trying to blink away at your now-moist eyes.

“With me?” you laughed harshly at him and Eric’s lips turned down. “I think you’re mistaken.” your gaze shifted towards your feet as you continued. “You cannot love me in that way. I’m just… not perfect.” You’re in utter disbelief. You were way too insecure for your own good.

Of course you fucking loved him back. You tried to ignore it for so long, your stupid little crush on someone you accepted you couldn’t have because you felt that he was way out of your league and your status remained as just friends. He only saw you as a friend, you thought.

You were you and he was Eric fucking Sohn. He was on the baseball team, athletic, a gym rat, popular, out going, a sweetheart, and hot.

While you in comparison, stayed home most days you had zero obligations, barely had any hobbies, and had like 3 friends.

You felt unloveable because of how insecure you were. You didn’t think someone like you was capable of having romantic feelings reciprocated. You felt unworthy. Eric could easily bag an L.A. model if he wanted to. So why the fuck is he here saying he wants to be with you?

Eric blankly stares at you for a moment. His face has gone pale and he feels his throat getting tight. He’s trying to process what you have said. Where is all this coming from?

“You’re perfect to me.” Eric reaches out for your hand and you get goosebumps at the action. Your eyes shift to where your hand is now in his, his thumb stroking your skin gently.

“Eric…” you barely whisper before removing your hand from his hold, looking away and missing the sadness in his eyes at the loss of contact and rejection.

“You cannot be with someone like me… I mean, look at me and then look at you! You are fucking amazing, Eric!” you finally look at him to gesture your right hand at his figure. “You could have anyone in this world and you’re trying to tell me that you’re in love with me? Have you seen me?”

Tears well up in your eyes as you remove the towel you had draped around you from your body. Your fingers roam around your stomach and you harshly pull at your love handles. “This can’t be what you’re attracted to!” you swallow hard, feeling so vulnerable right now.

You felt ugly. Society has told you that you needed to lose weight to be loved. You needed to be slim or appear a certain way in order for everyone to be kind and pay any mind to you. Not many people bothered to get to know you. Even though Eric has been your friend for a while now, you still find it hard to believe someone as handsome as him wanted to be around someone like you.

No guy ever showed any desire in wanting to be with you romantically or physically, or even as a friend. All your friends with ease had people lining up to be with them and you felt so lonely. So unwanted.

Your whole existence, you’ve always felt unworthy and everyone’s last choice. You felt like something was wrong with you and you’ve sorted accepted it.

Eric sat in silence as he took in your words. He had no idea you felt this deeply about yourself, how you saw yourself in a negative light. He thinks back to when you came out in your shirt and said how you weren’t feeling yourself in your bikini which prompted you to come out covered. You were self conscious. He looked at you with distraught and teary eyes. He was heartbroken to hear you think so lowly of yourself when in his eyes, you were practically Aphrodite mixed with an angel.

“Y/n, I didn’t know you felt this way.” Eric’s eyes softened as you looked down to the concrete, feeling ashamed and embarrassed of yourself right now.

“I’m sorry if anyone has ever made you feel unworthy or uncomfortable to live as yourself. I’m sorry that you cannot see the beauty in yourself.” Eric choked out.

“But I promise you, that you are so beyond beautiful inside and out.” he licked his lips and shook his head. “You don’t understand how beautiful you are. How much I enjoy spending time with you. Why do you think I insist we hangout at least once a week?”

Eric lets out a chuckle which prompts you to look up at him. “After every hangout, or even after every class we had together, I was already longing for the next time we’d see each other. I’ve been desperate for you… you consume my thoughts, Y/n.”

Your face turns crimson as he says all this to you, processing his every word. It did begin to make sense. He’s the one who asked for your number first. He always invites you over to his home. He actually seems to care about you. You chew on your lip at the realization. You were so caught up in your own self consciousness.

You never have imagined that someone could love you in this way in reality.

Eric notices you begin to soften up a bit and his lips curl upwards. “I like that you can handle my silly antics and loudness, and always laugh instead of seriously being annoyed. I like that you have such a kind heart, and are always willing to make time for others— even if that means sacrificing your own obligations and time.” Eric looked at you in adoration, like a puppy in love. You have to admit, your heart swells at his words, and it brings a slight smile to your face.

“Oh come on, you’re so cheesy.” you playfully slap Eric’s hand as you sniffle.

He bites his lower lip and rubs his chin before continuing, “I also like when you have your hair up in a ponytail and leave two strands out on either side. I don’t see you with your hair up often, so I get excited when you do have it up.” You grab a piece of your hair and begin to play with it, face flushed as he keeps going.

“And,” he pauses for a brief moment, blushing as he whispers the next part. “I like it when I see you and I can tell you’re not wearing a bra.”

You drop the strand of hair and look at him with wide eyes, face full of sudden shock. Are you hearing correctly?

“Your nipples are always so hard, baby.” he chuckles as his gaze moves towards your chest.

“Even now, I can see them poking through,” he nods his head at your breasts. You look down and move your hands onto your chest, feeling your nipples through the top. You glance back up at Eric, a cheeky smile plastered on his face.

“Was that cheesy, too?” he questions, tilting his head to the side, shit eating grin smothering his face.

“Eric!” you scold the boy and mischievously hit his arm for suddenly admitting he stares at your breasts often. Though, your thighs instinctively press together at his lewd words, face still crimson.

Your best friend has admitted all these things to you. He sees you the way you see him, and it all feels like a hallucination. You usually feel so insecure, but he sees you like gold. You’re nothing but stunned right now.

Eric laughs as he wraps an arm around you, making you shiver at the sudden contact.

His hand reaches over your shoulder, accidentally brushing over close to your breast, resulting in you jolting at the sudden action as you felt sensitive to the touch.

Eric immediately removes his hand and leans back. “Shit, sorry!” he doesn’t hesitate to say. He’s embarrassed at his attempt in being smooth. He doesn’t want to scare you off.

“It’s fine.” you shyly speak. You have to admit, you were getting a bit turned on. After him showering you in compliments and confessions, you were now slowly accepting that he actually does want you in the same way you’ve fantasized over him.

Not only does he seem to like you for your personality, but also physically.

“No it’s not. I don’t know why I thought touching you like that without permission was okay. You’re still vulnerable.” Eric feels guilty and moves his eyes to look away from you in embarrassment. You haven’t even responded on whether or not you accept his feelings. I mean, you seem fine now.

Of course your insecurities won’t disappear overnight, but you looked more relaxed. He just hopes you don’t feel the need to shy away from him anymore.

“Eric…” you softly speak. He looks up at you curiously, humming as your eyes are already on him, looking at him softheartedly.

“I love you, too.” you murmur tenderly.

Eric’s heart suddenly starts beating fast. He adjusts his posture and a smile creeps up to his face as he registers your words for a moment.

“Are you serious?” he looks at you excitedly with flashing eyes.

“One thousand percent.” you gain the confidence to reach over to run your thumb along his cheek, taking your time to caress him. Eric feels the hair on his skin begin to stand up as you touch him intimately. His eyes shut as you take in his face, feeling it for the first time.

You smile at how cute he looks, softening under just the touch of your thumb.

“I’ll be yours if you’ll have me.” Eric states, his eyes opening to look at your own glistening ones. His face leans into your touch, feeling so good that you’re finally embracing him like this.

“Of course I’ll be your girlfriend.” you look up at him lovingly.

His heart swells at this moment. The moment he’s been longing for, where he can finally call you his.

Eric is going to make sure you feel loved every second of the day from now on.

He removes your hand from his face and holds it gently within his own. With his other hand, it is now his turn to stroke your face with his warm palm. You swallow as you feel yourself melting like ice at his hot touch.

Eric is so close to you, yet so far. You have him now, so that means you can do all the things you’ve longed for with him.

“I want you to k— kiss me.” you suddenly blurt out, gaining trust to do so.

Eric pauses his delicate strokes against your cheek, and looks at you in surprise.

“I’ve never kissed anyone before.” you shyly admitted. You fluttered your eyelashes at him and stared at him pleadingly. “Please teach me, Eric.”

Eric swears he feels his dick twitch at your eagerness. With a simple sentence, his brain feels like it’s on fire. Oh how he’s longed to kiss your pink lips for what seems like forever.

Your innocence is cute, he thinks. How you’re willing to open up to him like this. How you are allowing yourself to let him love you in this way.

“You’re so precious.” Eric breathes out as he begins caressing your cheek again. You look at his eyes that carry a sense of longing as he scans your face, soaking up your features.

“We can take it slow.” Eric murmurs and you nod.

Eric’s thumb moves to your bottom lip, tracing the lines and feeling how plump it is. Your palms began to sweat in anticipation, and your heart rate increases at the build up.

Your eyes are open still, watching him curiously as he grazes his thumb over your lower lip gently, which makes his own heart flood in an ocean of warmth.

Eric’s thumb drops and his dominant hand moves to gently cup your jaw. His other hand pulls you closer against his chest, hand now resting on your side. You slightly shiver at his touch, fingers dancing over your love handles.

“You can touch me too, baby.” Eric nods at you, seeing you’re a bit tense and don’t really know what to do even though you so desperately want to feel his lips on yours already.

You hesitantly place your hand over his chest, rubbing the area carefully. Your fingers graze over his nipple and his eyes immediately shut at the feeling. He inhales sharply at your movements, and you can’t help but chuckle seeing him affected like this just by your touch.

Your other hand rests on the back of his neck along the nape, beginning to tangle your fingers in his curls and it feels like home for the both of you.

You don’t know what to do next, so you just continue combing through his hair. Though, you finally close your eyes, signaling to him that you’re ready for a kiss.

Eric’s lips curl upwards at how cute this is— you waiting for him to take the lead. He finds you very endearing like this.

He caresses your side as he slowly pulls your jaw close. Your lips separate faintly while he does so, awaiting for your lips to meet.

His eyes shut as he captures your bottom lip within his lips. He tilts your head ever so slightly so that you don’t bump noses, and your fingers messily fidget with the nape of his neck as he gently sucked your balmy lip.

Eric’s lips against yours feels electric. You allow him to guide you and you slowly get the hang of it, you soon after kissing him back. The kiss feels so magical. The feeling of his lips against yours sends sparks all throughout your body. You feel as with every movement his lips make against yours, you’re bound to explode like a firework at the passionate sensation.

You lose yourself in his lips, his hands soothing your body in the process, and nothing else matters except for Eric Sohn kissing you.

He pulls back for a moment, and you both stare at each other in awe at what you’ve shared. Eric suddenly lifts his rear off the chair for a bit, removing the towel he had wrapped around his waist and tosses it on the ground. He then decides to pull you over his lap, seating you on top of him with your legs wrapped around him. Your mouth opens agape at the action, your hands moving to his shoulders to steady yourself.

“Am I not too heavy for this?” you cringe, feeling like you can’t even be in this position for a second before it gets uncomfortable for Eric’s hold.

“Nonsense— you fit perfectly, baby.” Eric says. He spreads his legs a bit to make it more comfortable for you.

His hand rests on your back, fingers rubbing it soothly. His fingers trace the valleys of your stretch marks that decorate your lower back, and he smiles at the feeling of your skin.

“S’ gorgeous.” he murmurs, your cheeks heat up in response. Eric’s lips lean in to press against your pink cheeks, leaving tender, wet kisses all over your face. “You’re such a pretty girl.” he announces as you giggle at his affection towards you.

You crave for his lips on you again, so you take the risk of moving to glide your tongue over his bottom lip, begging to be invited in his mouth for seconds. A groan of satisfaction vibrates through Eric’s chest and he lets you in. Your tongues greet each other as your lips enveloped. A moan escapes your throat at feeling the wetness of his tongue against your own. You’ve suddenly lost your inhibitions after hearing all of Eric’s praises and tasting his pillowy lips. This kiss was sensual, becoming all hot and breathy in desire for one another.

Eric’s teeth gently graze over your bottom lip and you can’t help but move your body from the pleasure, resulting in you grinding down on Eric’s lap.

You pull back for a breath and your heart misses a beat as you feel something hard press against the fabric of your bottoms. You gasp at the foreign feeling.

“Shit, I’m sorry.” Eric breathes out and goes to pet your hair. “We can stop if you want, just tell me.” Eric says, face turning red.

One of your hands moves to fiddle around his neck, admiring the chain that rested against his collarbones. You bat your eyelashes as you rub yourself against Eric’s crotch again, eliciting a deep groan out of him, his eyes drawn shut from your actions. You bite your lip at the stimulation it brought to your core. There’s a strange feeling growing in the pit of your stomach. This was all new to you, so it was very thrilling.

You lean over his neck and tenderly begin peppering kisses all over, his hips bucking up at the feeling of your mouth on his sweet spot.

“Mhm.” you whimper at the friction of his bulge against your core, which captivates Eric. The sound of your pretty moans and the way your body responds to him has blood rushing straight to his cock.

“What are you doing, princess?” Eric gently pulls you back from his neck, looking at your desperate eyes with his own, wetting his lips with his tongue.

You continue to rub your core against his crotch as he introduces that nickname. Your arms wrap around his neck and your fingers get lost in his curls once again.

“You like when I call you that, huh?” Eric nods his head at you, smirk prevalent on his face.

You whine at his teasing, hiding your face in his neck. “Eric…” you announce.

“Hm?” he hums, rubbing your back soothingly.

You pull back from his neck to look at him. He presses his lips together as you bashfully look at him. Your lips part in wanting to say something, but you hesitate in doing so, moving your gaze away from his own.

“What is it, baby?” Eric coos as he cups your jaw. “You can tell me.” he encourages you since you’ve suddenly gone shy.

“I— I want to taste you, Eric.” you practically whisper to him.

He chuckles, “You want more kisses?”

He sees you cutely furrow your brows with lips slightly pouted, gently shaking your head. “I don’t mean like that. I mean like… let me help you out.” with heavy lidded eyes, you gesture towards his manhood.

Eric’s lips gape slightly as it registers what you’re saying. He cannot believe what he’s hearing. You have no experience and yet you’re beyond eager. You’re so needy for him and it is fucking turning him on. He could probably cum right now in his swim shorts just from the kissing and grinding.

But, he doesn’t want you to rush into things so suddenly in the heat of the moment. He wants your firsts to be perfect. Even if you guys knew inside that you trust one another, he still wants to be sure.

“Y/n, let me take you on a date first at least, hm?” Eric rubs your thigh gingerly. “I don’t want you to do anything just because i’m hard right now. We can wait until you’re ready.” Eric softly smiles.

You’re still pouting, and let out a huff of frustration at his words. “I just want to taste it.” you whine out while your hips rut down into his, which draws a moan out of Eric, his fingers pressing deeply into your thigh in response. You sigh at the feeling.

“I’ve dreamed about giving you head since I met you.” you confess as you continue, drunk off the feeling of his cock through the thin pieces of fabric. “I promise I want to, Eric. It’s all I want to do tonight. We don’t have to go further than that— it’s what i’m comfortable with for now. We can save all the other stuff for another time. But right now, I just wanna please you if you’ll let me.” you babble, giving him pleading eyes and he see’s how bad you want it.

He wonders what happened to you being coy not that long ago— not that he’s complaining or anything, but you’re now feening over him. This feels like a dream. You wanted to please him so bad and he just could never say no to you, not in a million years.

He would be a fool to turn you down.

He lets out a deep sigh and tsks, his hands snaking around to grip your hips to keep you steady. “Okay, princess. I’d hate to ever say no to you.” Eric goes to chase your lips, sealing the deal. The kiss has you mewling into his mouth and he gulps hard at your noise.

You pull back from his lips and go to leave a tender kiss on the corner before he helps you get off his lap. You stand up as he stays seated, curiously watching your movements. You crouch down and your hands are on the towel Eric tossed earlier, starting to spread it neatly on the ground so your knees can rest over it.

“Here?” Eric questions as you get on your knees and your eyes lock. He bites back a groan as he has to now look down to meet your eyes, seeing you on the ground all submissive on your knees with your cleavage perfectly on display. It has him screaming internally.

“Yeah.” you say as you begin to stroke Eric’s knee. “I’m too impatient to go inside.”

Eric laughs and bends forward to press a kiss on your forehead, your nose scrunching cutely as his lips make contact against your skin. His hands then goes to cup your cheeks. “I’ll be as gentle as possible and guide you if you need it. Just tap my thighs or tell me if you want to stop. Okay, baby?”

“Okay.” you say and nod your head. Eric’s lips give you one last kiss on the corner of your mouth, and he lets you go.

You swallow hard, mentally questioning yourself on how you want to go about this. Eric watches you, smirking as he can practically see the wheels turn on your head. He’ll guide you, but only if he sees you struggling or if you ask for it. He wants to see what you can do, since you seem to be so eager for his cock.

You begin by inching a bit closer to his crotch, just between his knees. Your hands move to touch his abdomen, running your fingers along the defined lines of his abs. Your lips pucker up as you press hot kisses along his stomach, appreciating how beautiful Eric’s build was. Eric’s dominant hand goes to rest in your locks, massaging your scalp as you kiss his tummy.

“You like my body, baby?” a smug look is present on Eric’s face as he says so.

“You’re beautiful,” you breathe out shamelessly, pausing when you’ve gotten closer to the skin just below his belly button.

You soon remove yourself and he lets his hand fall while your hands move to the waistband of his swim shorts. You play with the fabric a bit in nervousness, still figuring out how you’re going to approach this sensual act and wondering if Eric will be satisfied with your performance.

You finally tug his shorts down and fully off. His cock then immediately flops up against his abdomen, slapping the skin.

You gasp at first sight of his cock. It’s pretty lengthy and fat, erect with precum residing on his tip. You gulped as Eric’s right hand moves over to his shaft, beginning to stroke himself as he nibbles on his bottom lip. With pursed lips you look at him, feeling tingly and flushed all over as he makes eye contact with you while he touches himself.

“You wanna touch it?” Eric raises a brow as he slicks his cock in his wetness. You’re salivating at the sight of his naked form playing with himself. He looks so pretty on display like this for you.

He lets go of himself and you finally start to test the waters, hesitantly grabbing the base of his cock and stroking the skin. Eric hisses once he feels your small hand over his base. “Fuck, baby.”

You bite back a smile at his reaction and you start to give the tip kitten licks while rubbing the underside of his cock with your thumb. The taste of his precum lands on your tongue, causing Eric to purr in pleasure.

“Starting off as such a tease.” he mumbles while his legs instinctively spread to give you more room and his left arm goes behind the back of his neck and head, giving you a perfect view of the little sailboat and paw print tattoos that decorate his bicep. So fucking hot, you think to yourself.

You experimentally press your tongue along the underside of his cock, gliding it over a vein all the way up towards his tip, then deciding to take the head of it in your mouth.

A hearty groan rips from Eric’s throat as he feels all these sensations, and you begin to bob your head over a bit of his length, your hand jerking off the rest of his shaft.

“Breathe through your nose, baby, and hollow your cheeks.” he advises you between breathy moans.

You slowly challenge yourself to go deeper, coating his cock with your saliva. Eric is entranced by the slurping sounds that start to escape your lips and becomes drunk off the feeling of your warm mouth encompassing his cock.

His eyes shut while his hips can’t help but buck into your mouth at the feeling. You choke at the sudden movement, removing your mouth and gasping for air, sobbing out a moan as his length pops out your mouth.

“Fuck, princess. Mhm— sorry, can’t help myself.” Eric chuckles, licking his lips as his hand falls into your hair, caressing it gently and keeps it from falling around your face.

Your eyes meet and you hold contact, both of your eyes each going dark with lust while you take him in your mouth again, your left hand running up and down on what you can’t fit while your right decides to rest on his balls, beginning to massage and fondle them.

“That’s it, baby! What a good girl, playing with my balls without being asked. Hmm— you’re an angel.”

Eric praises you and your moans vibrate around his length in response. Your sucking starts to become more enthusiastic at his praises. You remember to curl your lips over your top teeth so they don’t touch him when you start to feel confident to take him deeper.

Eric’s gaze is fixated down on you as you bob your head, being such a brave girl and taking as much of him as you can. Your head rotates from side to side while sucking him, and your right hand is still rubbing circles along his balls, groping them and loving how heavy they feel in your hold.

Eric can’t help but grip your hair a bit tight as your mouth is driving his body insane. You gag around him as you take a bit more than you’re able and he carefully pulls you off. You cry out as you breathe in the fresh air, a string of saliva still connecting your lips with his cock. Eric growls seeing his cock coated in your saliva and his precum, and then moves his vision towards your mouth, your own spit now raining down your chin.

You inhale sharply as you give your mouth a short break and your right hand starts to jerk him off, feeling the wetness of his shaft glaze your hand.

“You’re s’ so big, Eric.” you whine and your lips stay parted, running your tongue along the inside of your mouth. “Jaw is starting to hurt.” you whimper as you look up and flutter your lashes at him, throwing your head back, thighs squeezed together as you tighten your hold around his cock.

“Just a little longer, baby. Getting close.” Eric coos and guides your lips back to his cock again. You run his tip all over your lips like a lipstick, humming in satisfaction at the wetness. You want nothing more than to drown in his essence.

Although your jaw is growing tired, you’re desperate to make him cum. You force your mouth to open wider and bob up and down as far as you can, sucking more of him as much as your mouth can handle.

The suction and slurping noises start to become more frequent from you as you pick up the pace. Eric’s breathing becomes more ragged at your rhythms and pretty sounds.

“Mhm, fuck! Getting close princess— where do you want my cum?” his brows furrow as he peers down at you, tears beginning to form in your eyes when you bring his head far back enough to trigger your gag reflex.

You start to get sloppy with your movements and meet his gaze with your own pleading eyes as he attempts to pull you back by your hair, though, your left hand finds purchase on his base and your right hand’s fingers dig deep onto the skin of his leg.

He laughs in seeing you not having any desire to come off him, “So this is what you meant when you said you were hungry earlier, hm? Can’t believe my pretty, perfect girl wants me to cum in her mouth for her first time. So fucking hot.” Eric’s cock twitches and balls tighten up once he’s approaching his release, brows knitting together and mouth agape, beginning to whimper in overstimulation.

“Mhm— Eric!” you muffle around his cock while your pussy throbs from listening to his pretty sounds leaving his lips as a result of you and from his fat length twitching in your mouth.

You continue to suck and jack off sloppily what you can’t fit, and before you know it, his hot, creamy load coats your tongue and paints your mouth white.

Eric’s head is thrown back, abs and jaw clenching as his release creates spasms throughout his entire body, sighing your name over and over weakly like a mantra.

His cum feels hot, thick, and sticky in your mouth. His release tastes slightly sweet, and you swirl and swish it around your mouth before swallowing as much as you can.

Your eyes are heavy lidded as you gently suck the head of his cock like a lollipop in attempt to drink up every last drop of his cum. You bring your lips to the tip and kiss it a few times, rubbing his balls tenderly to soothe him.

“Atta’ girl. Good fucking girl.” Eric praises you, groaning with a raspy voice.

You huff out a breath as you remove yourself entirely from his length. Wetness from tears decorates your eyelashes and stains your cheeks, vision somewhat blurred from all the work you put on his cock. Drool mixed with Eric’s cum is dripping down your lips and chin, and you continue to let spit fall, your mouth open with eyes closed as you try to calm yourself.

Looking at you, Eric feels numb in the head seeing you all fucked in the face from his cock. What a gorgeous sight.

After a few seconds, you both slowly start to calm down your uneven breathing. Your hand goes to wipe off whatever is left on your face, but not before Eric tuts at you and carefully hoists you up against him, his lips attaching against your own in a beat of his heart. Both of your lips move hungrily in sync and you moan into the kiss.

“You did so well, princess. You were such a good girl for me. The most perfect girl, and all mine.” he growls in between kisses as he tastes your saliva mixed with his own cum, and places you on his lap. Your hands go to wrap around his neck and one of his hands smooths over the fat of your middle, massaging it lovingly while his other hand rests on your neck. You shift a bit as he does so, gasping once you become aware of how damp and creamy your bottoms are. Eric seems to feel your wetness over his dick, grinning as the tip of your ears turn red and your cheeks flush pink in embarrassment.

“Aw, my pretty girl is all soaked ‘cause of me?” his hand goes to play with the flesh of your ass and you whine at his words. He kisses your cheeks sweetly and nuzzles his nose against your own. His heart feels so full to be so close to you like this. To have you in his arms and sharing intimate moments is a dream come true. You feel the same as he embraces you and is so gentle to you, feeling so loved by your best friend turned boyfriend.

“Can’t wait to take you on a date and treat you like the princess you are.” he whispers. “Then, when you’re ready, i’ll be sure to make you cum as hard as you made me. Sound’s good, baby?” Eric murmurs and you grab a hold of his chin, ready to plant another kiss on his lips before the sound of a ring causes you both to jolt up.

Eric groans, eyes rolling back in annoyance as he twists his head to see that it’s his phone ringing. You press a quick kiss to his jawline as he answers it, massaging his scalp while he talks on the phone.

“Hello… Oh, you’re here?— I’ll be right out!… Sorry to keep you waiting… Okay thanks, bye!”

“Shit, the pizza’s here.” Your eyes go wide as you register the call and his words and you quickly get off Eric. He rushes to put on his swim shorts and immediately bolts inside to get the food at the front door, leaving you outside by yourself.

You laugh at how fast he scurries off and then you sigh at the feeling of you bottoms sticking to your core within all the wetness. “I hope he lets me borrow a pair of boxers or something.” you say out loud to yourself as you make your way inside, ready to dig into some real food.

As much as Eric’s meat filled your mouth up nicely, you could use a couple slices of pizza to now fill up your empty stomach.

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

[feyhunter78]

I just found your page and I totally didn’t read all of your Miguel O’Hara fics. One I love how you write kissing you caught that spark off a kiss with someone you love in a way most books don’t get right.

I can’t sit here and sing your praise all day but I do have a question. Fully up to you and if it’s just a Drabble that ok but will you ever being writing something else for Side walk kisses? It’s so cute and I can see more moments with Miguel and Y/N just being silly cute mindless college students so helplessly in love. Fluff smut angst whatever you decide to Drabble in I will be fully ok with

(This is the first time I’ve done an ask so sorry I I seem a little over excited)

AHHH I love when I'm people's first asks, it always makes me feel so special!!! I thought I'd try my hand at a bit of angst for you anon!

Insecurities

You know you shouldn’t be jealous. Shouldn’t feel bad about yourself, shouldn’t be debating making up some excuse and dashing off to the humanities building to rid yourself of this pit in your stomach like a snake sheds its skin.

But that would require leaving Miguel alone with Xina, and you think you’d rather die than do that. So, you’re stuck in the courtyard right outside the library, holding onto Miguel’s bicep possessively as you struggle to keep up with the flow of conversation.

Now you wouldn’t say you’re an insecure person, sure you have your insecurities like everyone else, but they don’t plague your mind, or weigh heavily on you as you go about your day-to-day business. Right now, though? As you take in Xina, her long thick dark hair, her stunning almond eyes that sparkle with intelligence, the flawlessness of her skin, the way she so easily keeps up with Miguel as they discuss the intersection between genetics and robotics, you’re feeling pretty insecure.

“That’s exactly what I was thinking, when making your calculations you have to factor in the deficiencies in the code, just as you have to factor in potential genetic flaws.” Xina says, a smile tugging at the edge of her lips, excitement clear on her face.

“Of course, with genetics it’s harder to eradicate flaws than in code, but I could see it following a similar pattern.” Miguel responds, nodding at her words.

You’re so lost. If they wanted to discuss the intricacies of the English language or the way philosophers can so heavily affect the development of a nation’s culture you would be there, front row and ready, but science? Science is not your forte.

Xina laughs and smacks Miguel’s arm, pulling you out of your thoughts, Miguel is laughing too so you do the same which draws her attention to you.

“Oh, y/n, I’m so sorry, we’ve been so rude, what do you think?” She asks, and you can’t tell if she’s genuinely curious, or just hates you.

You stumble for a moment, then say, “I agree with Miguel.”

She laughs again. “You think Charles Darwin would be a good computer programmer?”

Miguel joins in, and for the first time ever his laughter sounds sour to your ears.

“Oh, um, no, I just—”

Xina smiles sympathetically at you, but it feels a bit patronizing. “It’s okay, not everyone can keep up with us.”

Okay, maybe running and hiding was a good idea.

“Y/N is actually top of her sorority for GPA, she’s read more books than anyone else I know, and she helps me write all my lab reports.” Miguel jumps in.

“That’s so cute.” Xina coos, looking at you as if you were a kindergartener presenting her with a crayon scribbled drawing.

You give her a tight smile, then squeeze Miguel’s bicep. “Hey, I’m gonna head to class, but I’ll see you later?”

He nods, and lets you go, reabsorbed in his conversation with Xina.

You toy with the bracelet Miguel got you as you sit at your desk, waiting for class to start. It’s a pretty thing, a birthday present, simple and elegant, highlighting your birthstone, the words, mi dulce, engraved on the inside in a small, flowy script. It jingles pleasantly as you mess with it, and glints under the florescent lights.

“The professor isn’t here yet, right?” Kelsey slides into her desk next to you and starts unpacking her bag.

“No, he’s running a little late.” You say, absentmindedly shading one corner of the blank page in your notebook with your pencil.

“Okay, good because I have something kinda fucked up to show you.” She says, pulling out her phone and scrolling until she finds what she’s looking for.

You lean towards her, the thought of gossip perking you up a bit.

“So, you know that Ava girl, the bitch who used to date your man?”

“I wish I didn’t, but yes.” You grumble, feeling that familiar gloom settle back over you.

“Okay well she’s been trying to get with this Kappa Sig, and you know how the brothers are like obsessed with me because my brother is their president and an absolute legend as they always remind me.”

“Yeah, it’s the reason we got into their parties freshman year.”

Kelsey’s brother was a decent guy, all things considered. Older than you two by a year or so, with the charisma of a cult leader but lacking the desire to start a cult. Throughly satisfied with his fraternity and the Fortune 500 company he’ll go on to work at once he graduates. He was nice enough, extending his protection to you and anyone else close to his sister while in the Kappa Sig house.

“So, one of them texted me about her trying to sleep her way through the frat, but then, my brother sent me this video. I gotta warn you, it’s not school appropriate.” She says as she slowly turns the screen towards you.

At first, you recoil. It’s Ava, half naked, and some guy, on a bed that looks vaguely familiar. The guy’s face is out of the frame, but he’s shirtless, his pants pushed down exposing his dick to the camera, Ava’s hand wrapped around it pumping furiously. “Um, what the fuck is this?”

“Just wait.” Kelsey says quietly, glancing around the room to make sure no one else is watching. They’re not, they’re too busy with their own phones or side conversations.

You half watch the video, feeling weird about watching, your idea of a good time isn’t watching your boyfriend’s psycho ex jack some guy off.

The guy finishes, his hips bucking and Ava saying something you can’t hear since Kelsey’s sound is off.

The camera shakes as Ava picks it up and shows off the face of the man. Dark hair, glazed brown eyes with hints of crimson, perfectly formed lips parted. You know that face, but you don’t want to accept it.

“Is that Miguel?” You’re horrified, sick to your stomach, head spinning, every unpleasant feeling and sensation you could feel erupting all at once.

You can see Ava go to grab his face, guide him lower, moving to take off her underwear, and you turn your head, unable to watch any longer.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know when it was filmed, but Darren said he had one of the brothers send it to him yesterday then made all of them delete the video from their phones. He knows Miguel’s your boyfriend, said he was just looking out for you.” Kelsey puts away her phone and looks at you, eyes searching your face, before giving you a one-armed hug. “I’m so sorry y/n, I can ask him to see if he can find out when it was filmed?”

You want to cry, you really, really want to cry. “It looks recent, that’s Miguel’s bed, I’ve been there, I’ve slept on that bed, I—I can’t think about this right now. Thank you for telling me, and tell your brother I said thanks too.”

Kelsey nods and squeezes you tighter before letting go and giving you a sad smile.

The professor finally shows up, and you throw yourself into your notetaking, graphite digging into the pristine white paper as you try to drown out the images in your head with the sound of your professor droning on.

Part 2 here!!!

TL: @bat-bae, @nyctophilic0vitnir, @smokeywhalee, @obi-mom-kenobi, @prowlingforfood, @penggion, @crystal-crax, @oharasfilipinawife, @generalkenobitrash, @melsimps, @chrishy973, @farrowroyale, @palesatan, @scaryplanetdestroyer, @denzmallows, @36namey, @scoobysnakz, @ihateuguys, @idkbros-world @smartyren, @deputy-videogamer, @blackrose8425, @amberpanda99, @marshhbs, @queerponcho

[solar-wing]

okay, just so you guys know...

I'm still working on Shadowing Nightwing. Just making edits and doing my best to tone down the length because it's well over 40k words and I–... I just can't.

Also, I'm trying to make sure that it's good and spicy enough for what y'all are expecting, but also something that won't get taken down on patreon, tumblr, etc. the literal second it's up—because again, it's spicy. Honestly, what I might end up doing is posting the first part of it, and then doing what I did with 'One Kent Was Enough,' linking the rest of the story to AO3 cause I'm tired of having to jump through hoops and loops with these platforms.

like Patreon is taking forever to "review" and put back one of my stories for "violating" community guidelines. And don't even get me started with Tumblr and their nonsense because I just saw one of my mutuals get his post hidden on here due to "explicit sexual content" that was "outside" of user guidelines.

and the crazy part is, his fic was under 1,500 words and was nowhere near as bad as some of the fem!reader content I've seen on here. Like I know I keep ranting about this (and I'll damn sure continue to), but I'm so sick of the bias against m!reader content, especially when it's explicit.

We already get a bunch of fem readers getting mad at us for not wanting to write content that includes them even when we explicitly state that we are m!reader authors and only write for male or gen!neutral readers. Then, the content we do write for our audience always ends up getting flagged or taken down for being outside of user guidelines, when it's barely anything bad.

Like the amount of abduction, non-con/CNC that could be considered borderline grape without the g, coercion, manipulation, Stockholm Syndrome, YANDERE, etc. f!reader fics I've read on this platform and others that have no warnings, flags, or shadowbans from what I can tell is truly something ridiculous. Matter of fact, they'll literally have the most likes, reblogs, and engagement I've ever seen. But, our male reader fics get flagged for using the word bussy instead of pussy...I'm not even joking.

but, I digress.

ANYWAY, with all that being said, once Shadowing Nightwing is posted, I'm gonna take a break away from smut and Omegaverse fics for a minute only because trying to do that specific stuff has started to feel more like a job than something I enjoy and have fun with, and I don't want to burn myself out or give y'all content that I'm not proud of or feel like it's half-assed.

Plus, I'll be honest, this past week has been really hard mentally, emotionally, and creatively for me given the results of this election, I can't even say I'm surprised, but I can damn well say I'm pissed off. Like, I can barely write without sitting there thinking about the fact that this orange peel of a FELON AND THUG—yeah I said it for you sibling and cousin fucking, buck-tooth, bobblehead, ding-dong, dropped ON your heads, mindless little minions—ahem—I mean, conservatives (if conservative means conversing brain cells that is) and his adult sid phillips looking ass v.p. cheated like someone trapped in a room with all their favorite foods while being on a diet, or more than half this country is really that stupid.

keep in mind, we're talking about a country with a lacking education system paired with a population of *checks note* sibling and cousin fucking, buck-tooth, bobblehead, DING-DONG, SLAMMED on their heads, mindless little minion bitches—AHEM—conservatives so that last part really wouldn't be surprising.

but again, I digress.

Shadowing Nightwing will be out soon, and we'll be returning to some PG-13 content for some time until I can wrap my head around this—or find the cheapest and quickest flight to Saturn—whichever comes first.

anyways, pls stay safe out there guys in these next four years, especially my minorities out there WHO VOTED FOR KAMALA AND TIM. If you voted third-party, didn't vote, or voted for the felon and adult sid phillips, I PRAY you get everything you voted for 😉. no seriously, I'm really rooting for you 😊

MWAH 😘 kisses, bitches 💛

to the rest of my lovelies, I love you all, stay safe and shine bright, and I'll be here soon with Shadowing Nightwing (that is if I haven't found a direct flight to Saturn first...fingers crossed🤞🏽)

[mrswhozeewhatsis]

Hey :) does anyone have a lpmg spn series fic to binge that you recommend?

Could be a Sam or Dean or Cas fic I don't mind

That could happen in the world of spn but it isn't a show rewrite

Thanks <3

I'm gonna make some assumptions, and if I'm wrong, you're gonna have to send me another ask to clarify. First, I'm guessing that lmpg is a typo and is meant to be long. Second, I'm assuming you're looking for reader inserts and not ship fics. Third, I'm going to assume that you are okay with poly fics, because I hate to choose just one member of TFW, and poly fics are all the bee's erogenous zones, not just the bee's knees. Finally, I'm pretty sure you want canon-compliant fics, not AUs. If any of these assumptions are wrong, send me another ask and I'll change my answers!

Looking for canon-compliant (or at least, world-compliant) epic tales with awesome reader-insert characters who fall in bed (and sometimes in love) with various members of Team Free Will, sometimes all of them. I'll start with my own masterlist because it's what I'm most familiar with. 🤣

Cracker Jack Prize - 87k words - My first ever piece of fiction, and it shows. Not a reader insert, but it reads like one (2nd person POV). Myka gets with everyone in this one! It's very Mary Sue, and it's formatted poorly on AO3, but it has my favorite Cas smut scene I ever wrote.

Oasis - 46k words - My answer to the question, "After Cas freaks out the hooker at the den of iniquity, how would YOU get him to relax and seduce him?" No Sam lovin' in this one, but some super hot Dean, and a threesome scene! (A little dubcon in one scene.)

A Woman of Letters (Getting a Feel For Sam Winchester) - 70k words - After Oasis, I needed some Sam lovin'. And some angst, apparently.

Third Wheel - 64k words - This comes closest to a series rewrite, as it closely follows season 6. I challenged myself to write a fuck ton of fucking. Soulless Sam helped. And then Dean got involved.

Those are all of my epic TFW fics. If you also like John, I've got two more epic tales involving him. Except for one AU fic (Priest!Cas with some Sam on the side - another long fic)), everything else in my masterlist is also canon-compliant, just shorter. 🤣

I tried to search my blog for fics, but discovered that I don't have a tag for series, sadly. So, I went through my AO3 bookmarks. Here are a couple fics from other folks:

Toil and Trouble by @littlegreenplasticsoldier - 70k words - Dean x Reader - It's Cat!Dean and a psychic connection. Need I say more? So much angst and pining and silly Dean as a cat. He knows how to weaponize his ability to lick his own butt. 🤣 (Honestly, just binge-read all of Ally's stuff. It's SO WORTH IT!!)

From The Wreckage by @sp-oops - 22k words - Destiel x reader - I love all of Sp-oops's Destiel x Reader stuff, and I wish there was more of it!!! Set in episode 12x01, with flashbacks to 11x23 and Dean going off to kill Amara.

Collared by @spnexploration - 40 chapters, so it's a long one - Dean x reader - A witch turned you into a mindless slave. Dean and Sam save you.

Tattered by @stusbunker - 11 chapters - Dean x reader, Sam x reader, A/B/O - So much angst!!! Adding the A/B/O world to canon stuff just makes it all so angsty!! And smutty!

I just went looking for Not Unless Sam Says by @spectaculacularsammy and discovered that both the writer and the fic are completely gone and I'm crushed. I'm off to go cry about how the world is a much worse place because of this loss. 😭😭😭

If I think of any others, I'll come back and add them, In the meantime, maybe someone else can add some? I know I'm forgetting some that are here on Tumblr because my brain is Swiss cheese.

[blushblyme]

Top Gun: Maverick Masterlist

Note: As of now I only write fluff and angst though I have the strong urge to write smut but I am learning lol

Some are still lurking in my drafts, but they're coming I swear :''')

Lieutenant Jake "Hangman" Seresin

We're Even Now, Are We?

Summary: After years of being in competition with each other, both of you realize that there was more to your tension than what meets the eye.

The Green-Eyed Monster

Summary: When Jake didn't really seem to get it, you decided to give him a taste of his own medicine.

Mr. Perfectly Fine

Summary: The one where Jake thought that breaking hearts was all fun and games until he broke yours.

To live for the hope of it all (Part two of Mr. Perfectly Fine)

Summary: While Jake was musing over what he truly felt, regrets started flowing through his veins when you gave him what he wanted.

And if I bleed, you'll be the last to know

Summary: The moment he knew that everything was in shatters, you were already in pieces.

Lieutenant Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw

Salvation

Summary: Just as when Bradley thought he had no one to live for, he found you.

Pushing His Buttons

Summary: After playing mindless games to figure him out, it turns out you only needed one key to making him crack.

Lover

Summary: The one where you found the most perfect love in the shape of a man named Bradley Bradshaw.

One Admiral's Daughter

Summary: Of all people in the bar, Bradley's eyes decided to set themselves on a forbidden fruit.

Right Where You Left Me

Summary: It was all bliss until he found himself in a difficult spot; being with the daughter of the one who held him back from the future that he wanted for himself.

Lieutenant Robert "Bob" Floyd

Invisible String

Summary: Just like what people say, you have to kiss the wrong guy to know the right one.

Miscellaneous Fics:

The Aviators' Respective Squadrons in Top Gun: Maverick

[dgknightblue]

Note:

First off, I just want everyone to know the wolf ABO structure was a made up concept that spread before damage control could work affectively.

Secondly, Wolves actually work as an extended family with several generations making up the whole pack.

Thirdly, I don’t ship Deku with Angry Explosion; victim x BULLY THAT TOLD HIM TO KILLHIMSELF IS HORSE SHXT. But you can ship them all you want, I won’t give you grief over it.

Lastly, why do I have to play by everyone else’s ABO rules? I don’t. That’s why I have my own that makes humans stand differently from animals.

Under this line is a ZERO ship ABO Social Commentary BNHA fic idea. No smut. No ships. Just a regular, serious fic idea.

Brain came up with ABO social commentary BNHA fic. Not shipping or mindless smut but a play on how society is even more messed up due to ABO being a part of society. (I was coming out of sleep and I’m not even in the fandom only read a few rottmnt crossover fics and watch analysis videos)

(Wanted to write with the actual names but I can’t spell fxxxxxxxxck)

Deku is having an inner monologue about what’s happen so far (I don’t remember much) and how ABO isn’t a great thing and how hero - not even just hero society- but humanity is set back completely by it.

There is a visual for the audience with deku and kaa-Chan (?? Angry explosion guy??) in beds as a side by side. Deku starts out with out friends and gains them once he was declared Alph and he’s swarmed with people while Kaa -Chan starts out with a few but doesn’t have any until the last panel is a single child being petted on the head by kaa-Chan (likely a younger sibling).

Also to note is All Might was sent to jail or was seen captured and probably killed??? It looked like he was in some kind of suit with the helmet off as he smiled and made a speech (it’s a flashback as Deku is thinking).

Things don’t go 100% beat by beat in canon and are drastically changed. For one Deku is a full hero with a license and is working solo while everyone is in agencies that’s either first responders type or teams.

Hmmm the tags in my head showed no ship tags and this is a purely a story fic of a serious au. No missed characterization or bashing, just people acting like people in a messed up under the surface world of over powered individuals.

Deku… wants to get rid of the ABO gene. It’s hurt so many people in his life. Kaa-Chan was so angry and lonely that he just wanted an outlet. He had a good quirk but no one wanted to take him seriously anymore.

Because Deku had gained so many friends despite being Quirkless yet an Alph that none of them were genuine until JHA and he had All Might’s One for All.

…… note there was some bull of Kaa-Chan not participating in the past hero v villain arc because he wanted a pup with his “girlfriend” but that was a fxcking lie. He is on the villain side and didn’t want anyone to see him kill Sero (who got married and had a pup) to get an important item from him. Sero worked as a security at a highly guarded tech place.

Pup=baby

So Deku was shocked when he encountered him near an abandoned tunnel. He escaped.

Toga had already died as a sad teenager but it was a direct action by (gravity girl) and it fxcked her up. She killed a girl her own age. A crying girl that screamed with so much pain in her heart. They were both betas but one was seen as a monster and the other didn’t understand until after she was gone and she became the “monster”.

Whose died in the past arcs until now:

Grape boy

Laser boy

Midnight lady

Jet legs

Alien girl

Tail boy

Idk but this has affected everyone and changed them and how they see things. They all now see there is a problem. These quirks divide people and ABO dehumanizes them.

There was another thing to factor in. All Mutant type quirked individuals did not have the ABO genes.

This is kept quiet and they are told they are betas with weaker scent glands.

But also…. The heat cycle is not some all encompassing thing, it’s just a longer period with less blood more hormones that affect your mood swings. You’re angrier and more territorial that can drop into a deep depressive state if it’s really bad.

They are humans not animals. We are working with human bodies. Biology of the human shows how we reproduce.

That doesn’t change. Regular human reproduction including the alternatives if someone is infertile.

With how humans are, it’s up to the person if they want to say Heat or Rut, but there is a difference.

Ruts are bouts of hormonal imbalances that can be curbed with medication.

Heats are basically longer periods that last the entire week instead just a few days within the week. It can be debilitating.

Some fics have this Omega obey command thing but no thank you. That goes against the human will and dehumanizes them more. It’s now a fxcking lie in universe to justify mistreatment that was disproven long ago but people love having an excuse to blame their actions.

Humans have sentience. Free will to make decisions for our selves. We have social structures but we aren’t stuck in hierarchies. We have the ability to rebel against mistreatment. All lively beings can act for their own survival and the survival of others.

Is a cat going to let you kick it without fighting back? No. You will bleed if it’s the last thing the cat will do.

Crows are smart enough to REMEMBER grievances and will act accordingly.

Tigers and Elephants with kill you if you wrong them.

Monkeys are vicious in prolonging suffering as a retaliation.

Humans can stab each other out of revenge.

Anyways the fics progresses from senior year of middle school to JHA to Adult hood.

[grousebrood]

wip wednesday

tagged by @optiwashere, i honestly don't really know anyone else on here but if you're one of the four people who follow me you can consider this a tag!

the first real fic i ever tried writing was far too big of a bite for me to chew, and i wrote about 90% of it and haven't touched it since. at this point i'm not sure i'll ever actually finish it, but it was actually weirdly very instrumental in me learning and understanding some very fundamental things about myself post/mid-transition. so even if it's never done it'll probably always be kind of important to me.

anyway my writing process is very messy and modular so there are very few sections that don't have weird little gaps. so i tried to put together a coherent little thing from it to post — not the explicit smut parts tho, bc i'm still too embarrassed to post here haha.

starring drow paladin of selune and shadowheart mid-Act 2, so vague SPOILERS ACT 2 ahead. important context is also that i wrote this mid-Act 2, so it very well may be a complete mess canonically but whaddya gonna do. starts mid fic.

CW: whipping, blood, hurt but we don't get to the comfort, sadomasochism (?), penis referenced

(sincere and deep apologies if i missed something, i'm new to this so idk all of em, but if something you'd like to avoid is adjacent to the above concepts it's probably better to just skip this!)

_______________

"Go forth and sow doubt, but do not compel it — only the willing may know the Lady’s embrace."

_______________

Still, the horrific, repulsive display festered within Helena. She had tried to push the images from her thoughts but they twisted their way inside. The rending of flesh. The grotesque cruelty of the wretched and inhuman dogma. 

Most of what she felt was a revolted nausea, her weathered soul recoiling at having witnessed the unholy mania. 

However, something flickered deep within her. It drew her close and quickened her heart. 

The mindless rapture. The oblivion. The end to all her aching hope. 

Loss.

Helena was infuriated by the thought. Shar’s embrace was a vile parasite that tormented the weak, and she was not weak. She steadied her mind, slowed her heart. Eyes closed, focusing, she uttered a soft prayer. The words offered a small balm, and her doubts and fears briefly scuttled to parts unknown as thoughts of something not too dissimilar flooded into the cavity the disturbing temptation had left behind. 

Rolling to her side, she gazed at the fading fire, and, beyond it, Shadowheart’s sleeping form. The deep, soft breaths of her slumber soothed Helena as she watched her chest slowly rise and fall. 

Since they’d begun traveling together, Helena and Shadowheart had been poking and prodding one another about their respective, incompatible faiths. And yet despite all this, or maybe even because of it, they had grown closer. They both understood the depths of devotion. What it meant. What it takes from you, what it gives in return. 

But even more, they came to understand each other, sharing things about themselves perhaps no other person had ever heard. Their memories, no matter how filamentous. Their thoughts, their fears. Their doubts. 

As they and the others traveled across [Faerun] together, desperately seeking a way to save all their lives, Helena pieced together the fragments of Shadowheart’s story within her heart and found herself increasingly drawn to the half-elf. After they shared a kiss in the small hours of the morning, just before the goblins had assaulted the Emerald Grove, Helena had even begun to naively wonder about what kind of a future a cleric of Shar and paladin of Selune could share.

------time jump-----

"If you were capable of feeling even an ounce of what I’ve felt, what I’ve been feeling, you wouldn’t be so quick to recite your ignorant drivel. I thought I might come here to offer you some comfort to help you sleep, but you clearly have little intention of letting me be close to you.” Shadowheart got to her feet, turning to leave. 

Even as the words stung her, a delirious thought slipped into Helena’s mind, small at first, then all-consuming. 

What better way to prove her worth to her Moonmaiden, her dedication to her righteous calling than to walk through the darkest corridors of the soul and come out the other side more devoted than ever? Yes, she would allow her blasphemous feelings to flourish — only to lull them into a false sense of security so they could be exterminated with a holy beam of radiant light. 

She would be stripped bare, clean and naked, and then moon’s love would once again envelop her, the proudest daughter of Selune. 

“Show me,” she said quietly.  

Shadowheart, mid-exit, became still. She turned back to look at the drow sitting in the dark, almost invisible if not for her pale white hair.

“Excuse me?” 

“I want you to show me,” Helena said, rising to her feet as anger and panic roiled inside her. “Prove your point. Make me feel Shar’s truth. She’d love it if you were to turn me, no? You’ve said so yourself. Imagine it. The woman who recovered the githyanki artifact, succeeding where all others failed, and on top of that, serving her Lady a new cleric of Loss. She would have no choice but to elevate such a loyal and powerful servant.”

“That’s nonsensical,” Shadowheart said, standing still as Helena came close enough that she could feel the heat of her body in the cold night. Helena reached a hand up to cup the side of Shadowheart’s cheek. The same way she held her the night they kissed. 

“Unless you haven’t really believed anything you’ve said since I met you.” 

Shadowheart’s eyes sparked with darkness as her hand shot up to grab Helena’s wrist and she abruptly pushed forward, catching her off guard and off-balance. Shadowheart’s grip secure on her arm, Helena stumbled backward, lightly tripping over the rocks and roots of the forgotten homestead’s pathways. Carried by the momentum of their bodies, Helena slammed hard into the aged wood of the shack as her breath left her chest. 

The two holy warriors pressed into each other against the wall as Shadowheart held Helena in place, her quarry struggling to suck in air after the impact, incapable of doing anything much at all despite being the stronger woman. 

“How dare you question my commitment to Lady Shar?” Shadowheart said venomously. “After all I’ve been through — all you’ve seen?”

“By your own admission I know nothing of the true worth of your Mistress of the Night,” Helena said, petulant, catching her breath and ignoring the wrenching lurch in her stomach as she felt Shadowheart push against her. “But from what I see it doesn’t seem like you know much more than a few silly phrases and petty excuses, pounded into your head by years of obedient listening. So show me, if you’re so devout.” 

Shadowheart’s anger flared and her grip tightened on Helena. She pondered for a moment, resolve hardening as she, too, tried to ignore a wellspring of warmth that had begun to flow through her body.

“Inside,” she finally hissed. 

-----------time jump-----------

“Fuck you.” 

Helena’s vision blurred as the room warped and spun around her. She again felt Shadowheart’s breath on her ear, though she struggled to listen. The sharp pain from her back extended outward, throbbing, as a hot pressure began to build in her body. The chair, already uncomfortable, seemed to become even smaller as she buckled over in agony, feeling something begin to press against her abdomen. Was that… Was she…?

Was she getting hard? 

Another lash of the whip. Helena jerked in pain and fell to the side, crashing to the floor, tears and spit dripping from her face as she concentrated on regaining some composure. 

Shadowheart crouched in front of Helena, using the whip’s grip first to lift the blindfold and then to tilt her chin upward, forcing her to focus on her tormentor’s face. The face of a woman she had thought she might love, whose unexpected softness had sustained Helena even as she thought her trials might break her.

Now, however, it seemed cruel and hard, Shadowheart’s preternatural derision directed entirely on her and her pathetic, drooling failure to understand the Sharran’s faith. Even still, as the pain continued to throb within her, so did her building animal lust, lust that made her feel all the more ashamed. Not only had she failed to prove herself, but she was hopelessly enthralled to this woman, desperate for more and yet physically unable to withstand it. 

“Shall I stop?” 

The flame was a fading ember. She stared into Shadowheart’s eyes, hoping to see a flicker of concern that showed that the cleric still cared for her. Helena saw none, and the hope died — but seemingly with it so too did her need to either please her companion or preserve herself. Spite boiled in her throat. 

No. 

She would not fail. 

She could not let the smug Sharran win. Helena spat. 

“Keep going.”

----------------------------

and there ya have it

[noitar-arat]

⭐⭐⭐ real talk i have been dying to chat with you about ur writing but i've been so "AHHH" about it

AAAAH myself to you too😭

Director’s Cut

Hmm I definitely have a lot to say about some of my fics, but for today I’ll talk about “Matter of Honor” because that was my first vaynemille fic and apparently the one most peeps know me for (to the point I saw one peep brought it up in official server and my soul proceeded to leave my body pls why must you mention it in official)

A-hem

Back when I first played g22-g23, being a fresh returnee to mabi, I never got a chance to grieve over Talvish because the moment Vayne appeared oh boy the effect he had on me…the design(I’m weak towards edgy looking bastards), how the dialogue constantly states he stares at your milletian…THE TOUCHING OF FACE AND HIS STUPID SMILE….a-hem. The point is I was falling HARD and what better way besides making fanart to express how much I adored this bastard.

Write fanfic! Smut fanfic! Though the actual smut is like waaaay at the end and is like three paragraphs top at best!!But! That was my goal, to portray the slow burn desire that transpires between Vayne and the millet. In this case my millet but not millet Elise!

(The face of a fool with horrible taste in men)

I’m sure I already talked plenty about Ellie before so I’ll keep this part brief, but one of her most defining traits is that she can be quite the pushover and is always the one to suggest giving people a chance (even if said people might not deserve it. Something she needs to learn coughs).

Vayne, as much as her passive ass does irritate him, he does use it to his advantage as he sees fit. Like arriving at her doorstep, drenched in dirt and blood knowing full well her kind nature won’t reject him.

Any sane person would have prolly chased Vayne out of their farm with a shotgun (atleast that’s what I would do if I saw a freaky guy clad in demonic armor standing on my porch) but alas my poor fool of course lets him in. Once that door closes, here is where their dance begins as Elise immediately becomes overwhelmed by the scent of blood and the implications of said blood (did I mention she has a murder fetish, people always freak out about this over her cannibalism for some reason shrugs).

I realize now we never learn what his exact duties are as a member of the BMO at the time I wrote this, but I always figured Vayne had to at least have taken part in hunting down potential victims for the cult or spies trying to infiltrate the order. I don’t believe now with everything we know that he does mindless killing BUT…he is(was) the Destroyer, was responsible for the biggest war that transpired in erinn(not to mention setting lose the dragon in Tara castle).

But going back to the start of the dance, Elise is busy having an internal battle with herself for desiring Vayne SPECIFICALLY when he has freshly killed someone as she already struggles enough as it is it’s desiring her enemy in general. I could go into a tangent about this, but basically Elise has always had a morbid fascination with violence, not on a massive scale but more personal 1 versus 1 kind of situation. Is part of the reasons she first became drawn towards Vayne, sensing immense power from him, later for him to confirm to her he is a hardened warrior just piqued her interest more. And her interest becomes piqued once more.

We enter now the next scene where the dance prepares to escalate, inside the washroom where everything transpires. I had a lot of brainstorming concerning where they were gonna do the do, originally it was going to be a bathtub since that is usually the norm in medieval times and the positioning required would be easier with their height difference.

But I thought about it more, I truly wanted a claustrophobic setting with Elise trapped and personal space non existent between them to make it more intense. So after a lot of thinking it over(and doodling it) I went with the small shower stall route. And I know a shower stall may seem modern, but like, this game is still a fantasy world with a lot of inventions that would have never existed in medieval Ireland. So I took liberties and figured Elise would have eventually discovered how to set up a magic plumbing system. The fountains in Tara and Belfast imply a plumbing system does exist already, at least in the cities.

Here we enter the first escalation as Vayne is being his charming self and offering some major insight on how he got his very tiny injury. And because he is a perfectly normal gentleman he uses it as opportunity for roleplay and he just so happens to have the best rp partner for it.

Look at her, getting into character so quickly, a dream rp partner /s

Sadly the roleplaying doesn’t end well, as Ellie tries one last futile attempt to kick him out (I’ve been writing post g25 Ellie a lot and I realize she would have set him on fire at this point otl). It doesn’t work obviously, this is a smut fic and I must build it up and the pretense of trying to get rid of him, which SHE can..if she truly wanted, is just part of it as we get balls deep into it.

Hehe get it, balls, cuz he took off his pants-shot-

This part was my favorite to write the inner conflict Ellie is having here as she has to battle between keeping her pride and not allow herself to be pushed around anymore or embrace her craving for intimacy. The rest of the fic deals with it as these idiots are just challenging each other to see who is the most horniest (both, both of them are just different ways to portray it). Either way I just realized both situations could have been wins, she gets dick regardless at the end.

Anywho, that’s it for my commentary, and rereading the fic again there’s so much I need to rewrite sobs

[magnus-the-maqnificent]

Hi! I'm a big fan of yours! I know this sounds kinda self-preachy, but I just started a Malec fic. It's all oneshots and a lot of them are smut but it's story based, not just mindless horny stuff. I was wondering if you, as a fellow fic writer, might give it a read? I'm genuinely really proud of my work on it, and I'd like to get more of a following because I think people will really like it. https://www.wattpad.com/story/328727785?utm_source=android&utm_medium=link&utm_content=share_reading&wp_page=reading&wp_uname=homiesmexu&wp_originator=Lxw5NkJI6fv8A4EHPluUS%2BnpQEZJYkGOfpYb53%2FPOPENyTunEYbCduCjsjvEJn879jaxHyWrvcMxTEpoM3WHgdtP%2FaIBS4paF2faeustm8c5xK0A9r8K9LGmhg270Fc3

Hello!!!!

First of all, I'm very flattered to hear that I have fans 😅

Second, please don't be embarrassed about promoting your malec fics!!! You WROTE that shit. You put so much work into it!! You deserve to show em off!!!

That said, I read all the one shots on my way home from college in the metro, and I really, really REALLY liked them all!! You have a lovely writing style, and you write plot and emotions so so well. (Not to mention the smut, of course 😏)

I'm gonna have to re-download wattpad and somehow figure out a way to access my old account once im done with exams. *sigh* all in due time ofc!! ☺️✌️

[binnie-bitch]

'Lock Our Love' - Chapter 2

AO3 Link - Masterpost Pairing: Seo Changbin/Johnny Suh Tags: Strangers to Lovers, First Meetings, Fluff, Angst, Eventual Smut Chapter Word Count: 4k Status: Ongoing Summary: 'NCT Johnny and Stray Kids Changbin caught in dating rumors' Johnny blinked. He read over it again, rubbed his eyes, and read again. "What the fuck?" "You have to read everything,” Doyoung said, giving his phone over. Johnny glanced up at him, then over at Taeyong, who looked absolutely miserable. Johnny's own mind was going as slow as a snail trying to comprehend what was written on the screen. It had to be a joke. It had to be. No matter how Johnny twisted the words in his mind, they didn't make any sense. Taking a deep breath, he scrolled down. ~~~~ Johnny and Changbin are rumored to be dating, even though they have never talked before. But then they do talk. Then they become friends. The next step seems inevitable for them. But can they survive when all eyes are on them?   A/N: I forgot to say at the beginning of the first chapter, but I started writing this at the beginning of december and so I ignored some things that happened the last few months for the sake of the plot, mostly world tours and that one incident where some of the 127 members got hurt during a photoshoot. I just generally played a little fast and loose with the timeline, and also who in NCT knows who in Stray Kids. This fic is so self indulgent, my dudes. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For years, Changbin had been worried about getting involved in a scandal. And then it happened and he decided it wasn’t a big deal. Sure, he had a bit of a heart attack when Jisung bursted into the kitchen early in the morning. Changbin also wished he would wake up from whatever nightmare he found himself in when he had read the article. But denial was a powerful tool, and Changbin had become quite talented with it.

Everyone assured him. Even when the second article came out, Changbin told himself it was fine. As long as the company didn't deem it worthy of their attention, it wasn't a big deal.

Except, it very much was. As Changbin stared at the picture of some random couple that only vaguely looked like him and Johnny, he worried. The moment people started lying, it could only get worse. It opened the floodgates and before Changbin could find a place to hide, the water would rise and drag him away.

Changbin smiled with every question. Each bit of assurance. The way everyone pitied him. He smiled, because that’s what he always did.

All the while, anxiety crawled under his skin like a colony of ants that Changbin couldn't shake off. Sleep turned out to be almost impossible. His mind kept wandering to all kinds of what-ifs. None of the songs he wrote during that time had any value. No rhythm or rhyme. Just mindless ramblings that were buried in the depths of Changbin’s closet with all his other failures.

Actually meeting Johnny in a random bathroom at a music show seemed surreal. For a moment, Changbin thought his sleep deprivation had finally caught up to him. Maybe he had finally succumbed to the hallucinations Wooyoung had warned him about. Even as he talked with Johnny, the reality of it all didn't quite settle in until later that day in bed.

The first message made it all too real.

[NCT Johnny] 'I'm sorry if I was a little too forward. I can delete your number again, if you want.'

Changbin took a deep breath, rubbing his eyes. He typed out an answer. He deleted the whole thing. Rinse and repeat. Nothing quite felt like the appropriate answer. It didn't seem right to tell his senior to never talk to him again. Especially because Changbin respected him so much, and just exchanging numbers didn't mean anything. A lot of idols he wouldn't consider friends had his number. So many of whom he had only texted once, then never again.

But the possibility was there. Changbin walked on a tightrope with no net underneath him. But he was already on it, he might as well go all the way.

[Dwaekki] 'It's okay. I'm not gonna complain about a chance to talk to you.'

That wasn’t the correct response either, but there was only so long Changbin could write and delete until it became suspicious. If Johnny was even bothering to stare at the little bubble that indicated Changbin’s struggles.

The immediate answer hit like a punch in the throat.

[NCT Johnny] 'Yeah? Have you already fallen madly in love with me?'

Changbin choked on his own spit, falling into a whole coughing fit. It was bad enough that Chan asked through the wall if Changbin was okay. He wasn't. Not at all, but he gave the wall a thumbs up, yelling a quick "All good" back.

Taking a deep breath, he looked back down at his phone. Although, reading the message for a second time didn't help.

[Dwaekki] 'You're really chill about this whole thing'

[NCT Johnny] 'Yo, chiller than Elsa.' 'I don't think anything else is gonna happen' 'Just think about how this is bringing us together. Two talented and handsome rappers.'

Changbin chuckled, relaxing into his pillows. He relaxed! For the first time since that first article came out, Changbin's heart beat a little lighter. Unlike everyone else, who could easily preach about not worrying, Johnny was sitting in the boat with Changbin. Him saying they wouldn't drown eased the fear of the cold waters.

[Dwaekki] 'Thanks, hyung.'

A happy emoji was all he got in return, but it mattered more than Changbin liked to admit. He wasn't going to worry about the dizzying height or the deep abyss if it meant finding a new friend.

Everything was going to turn out fine anyway. Stray Kids had survived worse. Changbin had survived worse. Overreacting wasn't going to help him. Frankly, it was embarrassing when the other person involved didn't seem to be swayed at all by everything.

It was just a rumor at the end of the day. The world would forget about it the moment a different idol gets caught in a scandal.

~~~~~~~~

Another article released the day they had an interview for their upcoming comeback. Changbin caught it at breakfast. Just more baseless speculation, repeating what people said on twitter, mentioning the lack of statement. As if that was proof of anything.

Yet, even later on in the dressing room, preparing for the interview, Changbin was still hung up on it. Like trying to find the answer to the meaning of life, he read every comment and twitter post. Encouragement. Insults. A whole spectrum of opinions about Changbin’s personal life.

"Stop reading this," Jisung said as he snatched Changbin's phone.

"I should know what's being said about me."

"No, because it's all fake anyway." Jisung skimmed over the article with a deepening frown. "They still believe that dumb picture is real. I hope the company finally makes a statement, so this rumor can die."

"Can I have my phone back now?"

"Promise you won't look at this shit again?"

"Language, Hannie. We're in public."

Jisung stuck out his tongue like the child he was. Changbin retaliated with a mocking mimic of the gesture, earning himself a slap on his outstretched hand.

"Ya! You little brat!"

Changbin jumped to his feet. He reached for his phone, but Jisung ducked away.

"Language, hyung!"

At his second attempt, Changbin caught Jisung by the collar. He yanked him closer. Jisung twisted until they were chest to back. Changbin wrapped his arms tighter around the other's torso, grabbing at Jisung's wrists. All it did was make Jisung curl further into himself. Curses and laughter filled the space until they were both on their knees, breathless, sweaty. Jisung begged for a truce. Changbin used the moment of weakness, and stole his phone back. Gasping, Jisung fell forward on all fours, laughing and catching his breath.

Changbin huffed.

"You're a real pain in the ass sometimes."

"Aww, hyung, I love you too~"

Jisung only laughed more at the slap on the arm. Eventually, Changbin joined in. They only stopped when one of the stylists got them both back into their chairs to fix anything damaged by their little wrestling match.

Unperturbed by the hands fussing over his hair, Changbin put his attention back on his phone. The article was closed. Instead, Changbin was greeted by a message from Johnny. A smile creeped onto his face as he opened the chat. A quick 'Good luck' with a follow-up message complaining about his dance practice.

It only had been somewhat over a week, but with them using any free minute to text, they had already gotten pretty close. So Changbin bravely teased Johnny about him possibly dancing shirtless. He had seen the clips of Johnny doing it before.

There was no instant reply this time. Regret settled in record time.

Then a picture opened up in the chat. One that had Changbin slam his phone to his chest. He looked around. The stylist was already gone again, and Jisung was occupied with annoying Hyunjin.

Swallowing, Changbin dared another glimpse at the picture. A selfie, to be exact, of Johnny in the dance practice room in front of the mirror. Another member was sitting in the background, slumped over his phone. Changbin wondered who, but he knew he was only trying to distract himself from the real issue at hand.

Johnny's bare chest and stomach.

Warm toned skin stretched over a slim torso, and firm lines of muscles. Sweat glistened where the light hit Johnny's shoulders perfectly. Some of his tattoo peeked out along his biceps, trailing to his collarbone, enticing the viewer to look closer. He had one hand in his hair, caught in the motion of ruffling the black mess. Most of his face was hidden by the phone, but Changbin recognized the sharp jawline peeking underneath.

Changbin inhaled deeply. All kinds of very inappropriate thoughts twirled in his mind. None of them were any help for what he could have said in return. Just another reminder that Changbin couldn't take what he liked to give, no matter how much he thought he could. But teasing was a two way street, and Johnny hadn't exactly been shy at any point. If Changbin wasn't suffering because of it, he would have admired that boldness.

Thankfully, an excuse came in the form of Bang Chan, who called all his members together. Changbin slipped his phone into his bag and joined the group.

"Everyone ready?" Chan asked.

Agreement hushed through the crowd, some more enthusiastic than others. Changbin tried to be part of the first group. Tried. But his heart was running a marathon, his mind close behind as fear crashed over him. He tried to think about Johnny, about one of the jokes he had made this morning, but as Changbin sat down, everything melted away under the blinding lights.

As if he had never done interviews before. It was the same old set up. Two rows of chairs, Changbin squeezed in the front between Hyunjin and Jeongin, with some guy he would never see again seated before them. Most of the staff wasn't even listening, focused on keeping everything running. Besides, all the questions had to go through their manager first.

It was fine. Everything was fine.

"Please," the interviewer waved towards them, "tell us about your new album."

Predictable.

Changbin adjusted his posture, following the eyes of the other members as they decided on the sacrifice. It ended up being Minho, who gave the barest, and easiest answer possible. Chan added a few words just to fill some more space.

"Every song explores a different type of love. They all have a unique sound, which hopefully means STAYs will find at least one they enjoy."

The interviewer hummed, smiling, drawing out the moment as he waited for anyone else to say something. When they didn't, he chuckled a little.

"I assume all of them are focused on romantic love, yes?"

"Yes, in a way," Chan carefully said.

"How much experience do you guys have with this?"

Changbin stiffened. Looking around, he found that he wasn't the only one taken aback. Jeongin and Jisung exchanged panicked glances with the older members. Some gave restrained laughs for the sake of being polite, but even the manager’s eyes bulged with shock.

"Well, experience is a difficult thing to define, isn't it?" Felix laughed nervously.

"Is it?" The interviewer raised an eyebrow.

A cold shiver chased down Changbin's spine as their eyes met.

"There has been a lot of speculation about you, Changbin-ssi. Do you want to give a comment on the matter?"

Changbin's heart sank.

The interviewer smiled as he continued.

"I'm sure you want to clear things up about the whole affair. Most importantly about the question if you're gay, right?"

Changbin opened his mouth. All that came out was a heavy exhale, like someone had punched all the air from his lungs. Heat crawled into his cheeks. A million ants under his skin. They filled his throat and chest, weighing on his breath. The lights seemed to get brighter, and his vision blurred, but he blinked through it, desperate to stay focused.

This was nothing. So simple. Inhale. Exhale.

"I don't think this is appropriate to ask," Chan said, frowning.

This seemed to wake the manager up as well and he walked over to the interviewer. They exchanged a few words, too quiet to catch everything, especially with the blood rushing in Changbin's ear.

As the two men parted, the interviewer pursed his lips. It immediately switched back to a smile, and he looked down at his notes.

"Well, let's move on to the last question then-"

As the man continued, his voice fizzled into white noise.

Changbin gripped the edge of his seat, as if he could slip if he let go. He swallowed against the sick sensation crawling up his throat. Everything seemed to pull away from him, and only a small voice in the back of his head reminded him to stay cool. The sweat running down his forehead could be blamed on the lights. No one could hear his heart rattling against his ribcage. They only saw his pressed lips, not the clenched teeth behind.

This was nothing. It didn't matter.

Changbin powered through the last bit of saying goodbye to everyone. The interviewer gave him a weird look. Everyone seemed to stare. Like the jury in a court, deciding Changbin's fate. It was Chan's gentle hand on his back that kept Changbin grounded. The warmth of his palm burned along his spine like a reminder.

Makeup off. Clothing changes. One more word with the manager. The car drive home. It all flitted by in a haze. Changbin knew it all so well, sparing no thought for his actions as he got swept along with it all. He was only vaguely aware of the way his members looked at him. He caught their quiet assurances and gentle touches, but none of it stuck.

The front door closed on its own behind them as they stepped into the dorm. Chan took a deep, very audible breath. Both Jisung and Hyunjin looked at him fully, while Changbin only gave a side glance. With the exhale, Chan threw his bag on the couch.

"What the fuck was this guy's problem?”

"Hyung-" Jisung tried.

"Fuck that dude!" Chan continued. "Our fucking manager explicitly told him not to ask anything about the rumors! Did he really think we were gonna tell him anything?"

The three at the door watched their leader pace up and down the room. His curses switched between English and Korean in no clear rhythm. While Hyunjin looked a lot more concerned, Jisung cowered against the wall. Any other time, Changbin would have stopped Chan. Then Chan would have apologized to Jisung. He would have calmed him down. Everything would have been fine.

But Changbin's throat tightened as he opened his mouth.

Glancing at Jisung, then at Hyunjin, Changbin gave them both an apologetic look. He bowed his head, and walked away. Almost immediately, Chan's rambles died. They were replaced by Changbin’s name. Chan’s steps echoed close behind Changbin, his voice careful.

"I don't wanna talk about it," Changbin said.

"We should-"

"I don't want to!"

Changbin swallowed, taken aback himself by the strength behind his words. Chan stopped a few meters away. They stared at each other for a moment. Concern tugged at every corner of Chan's face, weighing guilt on Changbin's heart when he looked away. He slipped into his room, shutting the door, and locking it. Gentle knocking echoed through the wood. Chan called out to him, but Changbin ignored it.

He leaned against the door, heart jumping in his chest. Soft footsteps reached him from the hallway. Hyunjin's hushed voice followed, but the words drowned in the white noise buzzing in Changbin’s ears.

He slid down the door all the way down to the floor. The moment he was sitting, he shuddered with the first sob. Squeezing his eyes shut, Changbin took a shaky breath. Tears stained his palm as he rubbed a hand over his face. He stared at the damp spots in the dim light of his room, frowning.

Changbin wiped away some of the tears with his sweater sleeve, swallowing, breathing deeply. Looking down, he realized he was still wearing his street shoes. He sighed. Absently kicking them off, he pulled out his phone from his almost forgotten bag, and unlocked the screen. Immediately, he was greeted by more messages from Johnny.

A weak smile tugged at Changbin’s lips.

[NCT Johnny] 'Yo, you good?’ ‘Did I scare you? Sorry' 'Was it too much?' 'Is your interview going well?' 'Taeil just rambled about fanta again' 'Did you know fanta was invented in germany?' 'If I drink any more, I'm gonna fucking puke'

The last message was a picture of a half empty Fanta bottle. One of Johnny's big hands was wrapped around the body, thumbnail picking at the label edge. Changbin gave in to the smile, sniffing.

[Dwaekki] 'I like the picture' 'The one from dance practice' 'But the bottle one too'

Almost immediately, the messages were marked as seen. Changbin's heart skipped a beat. He gripped his phone tighter, watching the bubble at the bottom.

Had Johnny waited the whole time for Changbin to text back? Or was he just conveniently on his phone?

Changbin shook his head. What did it matter? It shouldn't. It was dangerous thinking.

[NCT Johnny] 'Please drink the fanta for me’ ‘I can't take much more' 'How was your interview tho?'

How was the interview? Changbin leaned his head back, one hand pressed to his chest. He counted each beat of his heart, his breathing naturally falling into rhythm. Looking back down at his phone, he hesitated.

But Johnny would understand.

[Dwaekki] 'It was terrible. The guy asked about the rumors'

[NCT Johnny] 'For real???' 'People need to learn how to mind their own damn business' 'You okay?'

[Dwaekki] 'Not really'

The second Changbin sent that answer, he wanted to take it back. They weren't that close, no matter what had brought them together in the first place, but his fingers had typed faster than his mind could consider. He was ready to apologize and insist he was actually okay. But the screen lit up, and he froze.

A call. From Johnny.

Changbin's thumb hovered over the answer button. Something hot crawled up along his spine, igniting a new surge of energy like a runner’s high. He couldn't say what it was. He didn't want to say. He didn't have the time.

The call ended and Changbin immediately started another one. Johnny picked up only a split second later.

"Hey," Johnny said.

"Hey, Hyung."

"And here I thought you don't wanna talk to me."

"Ah, sorry. I was just surprised."

Johnny hummed. Another voice echoed in the background, asking who Johnny was calling. A yelp followed, and the stranger complained about a pillow getting dirty.

"Get out! Go bother someone else.”

A pause.

“I don't care!"

The unknown voice mocked Johnny's tone, but the words itself didn't quite reach through the phone. A door slammed shut, Johnny called the other person a brat. Silence. Changbin just got back on his feet when Johnny cleared his throat.

"Okay, I'm finally alone."

Changbin huffed a small chuckle. "Who was it?"

"Jaehyun. He's hiding from Yuta."

"Oh?"

Changbin vaguely knew the other NCT members from everything the others have told him. And also from the few - many - searches online to find out more about Johnny.

"Something about pudding," Johnny said, "I think Jaehyun ate Yuta's last one. Oh? Yuta is yelling-"

There indeed was a loud voice somewhere in the background. Changbin listened carefully. Johnny probably did too. It was hard to make out anything, and Changbin quickly gave up, sitting down on his bed instead. Exhaustion hit him instantly, awakened by the soft mattress. He laid back with a soft sigh.

"Well," Johnny finally said, "Jaehyun is dead. Very sad. Anyway."

Changbin laughed, body shaking with the sudden burst. A soft noise of surprise spilled through the phone.

"I can still hear Yuta yelling. It was definitely about the pudding," Johnny continued.

He sounded much more cheerful than his words warranted.

"Isn't it way too late to yell?" Changbin asked.

"It wouldn't be our first noise complaint. Though, I think our neighbors gave up after Taeil got into metal."

"Sounds fun."

The image of Johnny throwing a hand over his chest flashed before Changbin's eyes as Johnny sighed overly dramatic.

"You have no idea. Enough about the others though. How are you, Bunny?"

Changbin choked. "B-bunny?"

"Oh. Is that okay? I read about your little furry personas and Dwaekki is cute."

"Right. Yeah. It is. Bunny is okay."

Maybe. Hopefully. Changbin couldn't be entirely sure.

"Cool, cool," Johnny continued, the smirk shining through his tone. "So, how are you, bunny?"

"Good."

"Yeah? Thanks to me?"

"Maybe," Changbin said, equally smug as Johnny.

The older man's deep laugh rumbled through the phone, chasing a shiver down Changbin's spine. He put a hand over his chest, sinking deeper into the mattress. His heart stuttered in sync with Johnny humming.

"If you ever need someone to talk to, you can always call me," Johnny said.

His voice dripped like rich dark chocolate, melting right into Changbin's ear.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. The other members- I'm sure they're great friends, but I assume you don't want to burden them with your problems. I also better understand what you're going through."

"Obviously," Changbin whispered.

"Obviously," Johnny chuckled softly.

"You can talk to me too, if you need it," Changbin said.

"Thanks. I like talking to you, bunny."

There it was again, the low voice that had Changbin's heart skip a beat. It burned itself deeper into his mind with every word. Like everything else about Johnny. From his intense gaze in the bathroom, to his incredible body, Johnny had dug himself a hole in Changbin's brain like it was fine sand. His voice was just yet another part that pulled at the tightrope Changbin was walking on, threatening to push him off.

Changbin took a deep breath.

"I like talking to you too, hyung."

"Good. You should get some rest now. I need to see if Yuta has snapped and killed everyone."

Changbin snorted, shaking his head. "Be careful, then."

"Always! I'm the final girl of this movie."

"Aren't final girls normally virgins?"

Johnny gasped dramatically. "I need to hide. Wish me luck."

"Fighting!"

And with that, the call ended.

Silence wrapped heavily around Changbin much faster than he could prepare for. He swallowed, and glanced at his phone where Johnny's chat had opened up again. Before his mind could wander again, he scrolled up.

Changbin stopped at the dance practice picture for only a moment, now sure it was Mark sitting in the background. He continued his journey through their excessive text exchange to a picture from the day before. Also a selfie, but this time of Johnny sitting in a cafe, holding a mug. A wink accompanied his smirk, framed by his soft, long hair.

[NCT Johnny] 'The coffee is awful' 'But Jungwoo likes one of the waiters’ ‘He gets too nervous and I'm forced to come along' 'The things we do as hyungs'

Re-reading the messages, seeing Johnny's smile, it had a pleasant warmth bloom in Changbin's chest. Between all the schedules for their comeback, and his worries about the rumors, Johnny was exactly what Changbin needed.

Because Johnny was right. Changbin didn't want to go to his members with his problems. They had enough on their plates. He didn't want them to add by worrying about him.

Besides, Johnny was nice. Funny. Handsome. Talented-

Changbin was fucked, but he wasn't sure of the awareness of it made it better or worse. At least he knew about it and so had the opportunity to go against it. He wasn't that easy. This wasn't a drama. Love at first sight was a myth.

[virginreprise]

i discovered your writing this yesterday and i am so taken by your words. you’re truly very gifted, i hope you know that and nurture it! junky pride gave me all sorts of feelings… big sigh! i was curious to know, where do you draw your inspiration from when it comes to fics and just storytelling more generally, apart from the man himself of course? i know you have only shared a few things with us but they are so immersive and i can only imagine how boundless your imagination must be. also… i saw you study english lit, so wondering what are your fave books?! Xoxo 💋

thank you so much, sweetheart!! i really do appreciate it all the kind messages; they're such a huge motivator ♡

to answer your question though, i mainly draw inspiration from song lyrics if i'm being honest. obviously, i love lana del rey - her lyricism is truly poetry. i also draw a lot from the dark, morbid lyricism of nicole dollanganger too and various other artists. i guess i just build from the things that feel special to me. certain imagery can evoke certain feelings as well. i'll see an edit of fucking red dead redemption and suddenly get the urge to write because it pulls a specific idea that i can only ever express through words. i'm not an artist, give me a pencil and paper and tell me to draw something i will give you an awful rendition but words, i can do. i play the piano and the guitar yet even then, when i write music, my faith is not in the melody, it's all in the lyrics.

either way, when it comes to prose i kinda just...make it up as i go along?? i don't really know what i'm doing. i've never been clasically trained - creative writing has never really been taught to me on a detailed level either, i just have a basic knowledge of grammar and turn the thoughts in my own head into something that makes some sense. i'm glad that you find it immersive enough to evoke emotion!! its all i really wish to do because i know how many feelings that i get when i read certain fanfiction because i am a firm believer that fanfiction is writing. there's so many stereotypes surrounding it to lead those less informed to believe that it's all just mindless smut and thirsting but it's so much more than that for me. so many writers get their start in fanfiction! it's a great place to construct your personal writing style and build a more solid knowledge of writing in general.

alsoooo, my favourite books!! my favourite of all time is blood meridian by cormac mccarthy!! i love old west themed stuff (my fave film is the good the bad and the ugly lol) and i read a lot of louis l'amour, especially when i want something that i can read in a few days. i'm really drawn to the history of america, espcially the expansion of the american west so anything outlaw and cowboy related is my fave!! i like pride and predjudice too which i feel is such a basic answer but it was the first classic i ever read!! and as someone who doesn't really like reading the classics because studying them to death at school kinda takes the fun out of it, i really like austens work. there is definitely an element of nostalgia in there, but isn't there in everything?

[tidbitsandbats]

(pt.2) Chapter two is just smut. It's the core of the fic and what I really came here to write.

I wanted to explore the differences between how Dick and Jason feel about their dynamics. Dick, who is comfortable with his body and uses his senses and instincts to his advantage, versus Jason who presented into a strange, unfamiliar body after the lazarus pit had changed him and put everything that wasn't his anger onto the back burner to figure out how to cope with later.

What difference did it make that Dick had his alpha present? the additional pull of his instincts that said that Tim would keep him safe and he should just relax and trust him?

How was it different for Jason who doesn't have a dominant partner?

I really wanted to play with the descent from clear-headedness into the clutches of a mindless heat, the visceral fear of losing yourself while knowing that there was no way to stop it, only able to slow it down.

I forgot to tag the predicament bondage, but it was one of my favorite bits, I adore that kind of thing. An impossible choice between what kind of pain/discomfort is most tolerable, the stress of it. It was, however, a pain in the ass to write and remember to work with. I'm pretty sure I wrote variations of the same sentence like five times and prayed that it wouldn't bother the readers (crying.jpg)

Jason needed the additional "help" to tip into that subdrop, the stress and pain to trip him out of his head. Dick was working with the deck stacked against him from the get-go, he didn't wake up until the heat was fully underway, he was dropped before he even fully regained consciousness. Jason could cling to the edge of control by his fingernails right up until he couldn't.

The panic attacks weren't part of the original outline, but once they started creeping in there then I couldn't stop it from becoming an integral part of the experience, and I'm glad that I let it. It adds a really nice flavor that makes it stand out from the first fic in ways that I wasn't sure I was going to achieve.

I also wanted to further explain the concept I had alluded to in the first fic about the different kinds of heat that exist in this universe I've been building. I've seen "dry heat" be used to describe unpleasant experiences in other fics but I really couldn't come up with a better term.

So we wound up with "dry" pack heats, that are mostly overloads of instinct, it's a bonding experience either way, but dry heats are for familial bonding time. They let an omega feel closer to their pack, it lets the other pack members show that they care by taking care of the omega, offering items for their nest and stuff.

"Wet" heats are the typical sort that you see in omegaverse fiction. It's the horny, slick dripping heats meant for bonding with partners. It's a heat with a reproductive aim, focused on expanding the pack rather than connecting with the members already in the pack.

I also realized after I had finished it that I'd managed to sneak ace-spec Jason in there LMAO it isn't stated outright but damn the poor lad is REALLY having a rough go of it.

It doesn't help that Ra's so obviously does NOT care about him. He doesn't care about Jason's comfort, he doesn't care if he damages him, all he cares about is his goal.

I also adore the "victim forced to enjoy it" trope, and the options provided by the "coming helps conception" idea, because it opens up so many possibilities for casual cruelty and helplessness.

I originally was going to have Dick be the one to rescue him. Or Dick and Bruce. I started to write that out before realizing that there was no fucking way that anyone would let Dick go anywhere near anything League and fighting him about it would slow down how quickly they could get to Jason. But you can imagine the epic showdown between Dick and Bruce when he got grounded from this.

So then I realized that the potential was there to make things So Much Worse, with the mindless heat and the alpha Bruce and -- then I wasn't wholly sure how to finish that thought and it was just so funny to imagine him panicking and just. knocking Jason out so he doesn't have to cope with all of that. My man absolutely got shitfaced later to try and forget that he ever had to see that. RIP Bruce

[mothandpidgeon]

This is a great question and I'm loving seeing everyone's answers.

Unless I'm writing pwp, I start with character. It's not often that I write something with the smut at the forefront. I love writing meet cutes, I love plot so generally it's more like [and then they have sex] and then I have to figure it out. So character and plot really guide the dynamics of the smut. It's more likely that I want to use smut to explore something. (how pretentious does that sound?) Like with Stiff, I wanted to get into anxiety around ED. I also think about power dynamics too much so I keep that in mind. Who's giving, who's receiving.

Sometimes I come up with something I know the girlies (gn) will go wild for that I've later decided to cut because it isn't working to further the narrative or doesn't fit with the dynamics of the relationship. That really sucks.

I do come from a film background so I like to think about my fics having some sort of "set piece." A "trailer moment" if you will. Something that is unique that I imagine would stick with readers. For example, The Outlaws is the one where they're chained together.

When it comes to hashing it out, I usually put on some music and do a mindless task. I bounce A LOT of ideas off of my friends. I really wish they'd tell me to stfu. Also, the juices really start flowing after my nightly gummy so I guess there's that, too.

Question for Fic Writers

So I'm curious about something. If you write smut, how do you come up with the scene/scenario?

For me it just sort of comes to me when I'm thinking about my characters. Like especially for my chaptered series, I'll be thinking about the characters and their progression and then a smut idea for them will just pop into my head like a movie scene. I rarely feel like I'm struggling to come up with a scene bc my brain just sort of fills in the blanks if that makes sense?

But I wanna know about other writers. Do you have a kink/trope you want to write and just fit it in wherever? Are you writing from irl experiences? Do you just have a specific type of smut you want and then write for it? Do you see something on Bellesa House and want to recreate it (LMAO)? Do you have people requesting a certain fantasy/kink/trope and write based off that?

Please share bc I'm super curious!

Sound off in the comments or reblog with extended commentary if you're a yapper like me.

full pressure tags (if I forgot anybody I'm sorry!):

@frannyzooey @ezrasbirdie @joelscruff @atticrissfinch @perotovar

@swiftispunk @kedsandtubesocks @chronically-ghosted @ghostofaboy @ghoulettesinspace

@toxicanonymity @umnitsa @quinnnfabrgay @bizarrelove-triangle @ozarkthedog

@agentmarcuspike @beardedjoel @magpiepills @noxturnalpascal @beelzebeth87

@not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @sp00kymulderr @luxurychristmaspudding @janaispunk @max--phillips

@covetyou @strang3lov3 @iamasaddie @iamskyereads @cavillscurls

@hier--soir @romanarose @goodwithcheese @neverwheremoonchild @netherfeildren

@beefrobeefcal @for-a-longlongtime @burntheedges @missredherring @qveerthe0ry

@grogusmum @prolix-yuy @demonsandbullets @leslie-lyman

[pumpkinofthedale]

Friends... it is now.... well over 13k words and i’m maaaaybe a little over halfway done with the first chapter.... but I am a slut for positive reinforcement.... so here is another excerpt from my cronus fic (I see you and love you)

“Seriously, if you hate it that much give it back.”

“Nope, it’s crispmass and you gave me a gift. Even if it’s the worst gift anyone’s ever given me.” His words were slurred, v’s and w’s blurring together.

You sighed, rolling your eyes and leaning back against the next step up. From this angle you could see lavender from the Christmas lights bouncing off the thin membranes of his fins. And maybe it was the alcohol, or the faint nostalgic music coming from the other room, but you couldn’t help but stare. Polished orange horns shining with little rainbows dots, a small smile on his grey lips. He was breathtakingly pretty.

“At least you gave me a present I guess. None of my other asshole friends did. Like I get most of them are gutterblood trash-”

He just had to ruin the mood, didn’t he.

“Shooshooshoosh.” You grimaced and put your finger on his lips to quiet him and he froze; Stock still, eyes wide as he stared at you like a deer in the headlights. “God, you’re so fucking pretty, but literally everything that comes out of your stupid mouth is ugly.” You snapped. “So just… shut the actual fuck up for a little while.”

His fins fluttered a little and he seemed to look everywhere except directly at you. You realized after a few moments that you still had your finger on him and removed it, but didn’t look away. In the dim light of the room you could faintly see a violet flush tinting his cheeks, another one of those peculiar expressions on is face.

For a few minutes there was a blissful silence except for the muffled music as Cronus worried his bottom lip between his sharp teeth. “You uh... You really think I’m pretty….?” He asked after a while, finally turning to face you.

You shrugged, drinking some more eggnong. “Yeah. When you’re not being a complete and total d-bag, so uh… very infrequently. You’re kind of a douche a lot.”

He let out a soft, breathy laugh.

“But like... physically? You’ve got a lot going for you…. For an alien I guess. Not that I really know how you guys measure physical attractiveness. But by human standards… your aesthetic is immaculate.” You gave him an appraising look and his fins fluttered again. “But your vibes are rancid as fuck, dude.”

His lips curled back in a sneer showing off those perfectly even teeth, and you couldn’t help but wonder if trolls had orthodontics… Were those perfect teeth the product of genetics or did he have to wear braces as a kid. You failed to stifle a snicker at the thought.

It seemed to throw him off guard because the threat display dropped immediately.

“I don’t get it. What’s so funny?”

“Nothing, just alien braces.” You waved him off.

He gave you a quizzical look, but didn’t press you for any more details. He fell silent once more, staring down into the depths of the mug in his hands, fingers fidgeting and clenching. The Christmas music hung heavy in the air.

The snow’s coming down

I’m watching it fall

Lots of people around

Baby please come home

A pang of went through your heart and your grip on your eggnog tightened….

“So where’s this boyfriend you keep talking about?” Cronus asked. “Afraid I’d steal him away from you if he came?” He raised an eyebrow, lopsided grin growing on his face.

You swallowed, sighing and closing your eyes, trying to drown out the Christmas music through sheer force of will.

“He uh… he’s in Minnesota.”

“Gesundheit.”

A soft laugh escaped your throat. “Halfway ‘cross the country.” You explained.

“Oh shit… What’s he doing out there on crispmas?” You chanced a glance over at him, and were surprised to see his brow furrowed, head tilted… he looked… genuinely concerned.

“He lives out there… so does his family.” You were thankful when your voice didn’t crack or waver. “I was supposed to go visit him, but y’know,” You shrugged, “Life happens.”

“Shit, chief, so you’re tellin’ me,” He paused to let out a bewildered half chuckle. “You’re tellin’ me you’re in a relationship and you still ain’t getting any...?” He made an odd, but recognizably lewd gesture with his hand.

“Relationships are about more than sex, Cronus.” You mumbled, trying not to think about the fact that you were going to be very, very alone this Christmas.

“Well, yeah. I know that.” He rolled his eyes. “But like… don’t you get lonely?”

Your jaw clenched, you were simultaneously way too drunk and not drunk enough for this conversation. “Nope. Never.”

Loneliness whom? You do not know her. (If you tell yourself enough, it’ll be true. That’s how emotions work, right?)

He pursed his lips, eyes narrowing as he searched you for something.

Ah fuck, was he making an insight check? Is that what insight checks looked like? Did you roll high enough on your deception?

“Humans are fuckin’ weird as hell.” The sea-troll said after a few moments. “I just don’t get it. Like what kind of quadrant are you even in that that sort of distance makes sense? I’d say flushed but you ain’t even pailing so what’s the point of it?”

“Pailing?” What the fuck kind of bullshit….

“Sex.” Cronus opened his mouth as if to say more, but closed it with an exasperated huff instead. He definitely looked like he wanted to keep probing you (heh) for more information, but he just stared into the contents of his mug.

I’d hold back this tear

But it’s Christmas day

Baby please come home

Baby please come home

Michael Buble finally finished his pining, and were immediately assaulted by Elvis pleading with Santa to bring his baby back to him.

Fuck… you could just not catch a break tonight.

The fuckboy next to you was unusually silent, leaving you stewing in your own thoughts like some sort of asshole without distracting you. How absolutely inconsiderate of him.

Finally an overtly religious Christmas classic started playing, tacky, respectable Christmas music that wasn’t constantly reminding you that your boyfriend was halfway across the country and your family was on a different continent.

Actually... a few songs passed (which you’d begun humming along to) before Cronus spoke again.

“Why doesn’t anyone like me?”  

His voice was soft as he stared longingly into the other room, past the set of french glass doors where the rest of the party was; silhouettes of people mingling and muffled laughter. “I… I know people don’t like me, I just don’t get why. I try so, so hard… and I just can’t figure out what people want. I….” He trailed off.

You watched him for a moment, but he never stopped gazing through the glass.

“Do you want an honest answer?” Normally, you would revel in the chance to make an exhaustive list of his many flaws, but the expression on his face was so different from what you were used to, and the warmth of Bing Crosby’s voice made you pause.

And you think you may have finally figured out what Cronus was about.

He looked at you with big violet eyes, chewing on his bottom lip, then nodded.

And everything about him hit just a little too close to home.

“Well,” You took a deep breath, “I… I think I get you now. Where you’re coming from at least… because I’ve been there before. And I guess I want to help you.” And began to explain to him exactly why he was such an unlikable bastard starting with the callous way he treated his friends, blatant attempts at manipulation, his casual use of what you’re pretty sure are slurs, or at least really rude words, how there’s nothing genuine about how he presents himself, finishing on a softer note with the overwhelming amount of body spray and cologne he wore.

And to his credit, he just sat there and listened (though his fins drooped more and more with each new bullet point).

You did your best to be as constructive as possible, but the increasingly dejected look on his face left you feeling… less satisfied than how you would have imagined a moment like this would feel. When you finished, you couldn’t help but reach down and take his hand in your own, threading your fingers together.

He was cold to the touch, skin smooth besides a few thin ridges along the sides of his fingers. He stiffened for a moment before relaxing just a bit, squeezing your hand back tight enough to almost be uncomfortable.

You sat like that for a little while, hand in hand

You took another sip of your eggnog, starting to get a little sick of the taste.

Cronus’ eyes were glassy as though he was blinking back tears, and you felt kind of bad. It was definitely something that he had to hear, and you’d tried to do it as tactfully as possible… but you were very drunk, and you weren’t great with words or comforting or emotions even when you weren’t.

Fuck… you’re pretty sure you heard him sniffle a little.

“If I’m really so awful, why’d you even come over here?” His voice wavered a little, but didn’t crack, staring down into his hot toddy (that you had so painstakingly prepared and was probably delicious as hell and not at all disgusting like Cronus kept insisting).

You took a moment, breathing deeply and giving his hand a squeeze.

“Because no one deserves to be alone on Christmas.” He finally looked back at you again, violet eyes locking with your own… damn even when he was a wreck he was pretty. You wished you were half that pretty when you were having an existential crisis.

And before you even realized what you were doing, you had brought his hand to your lips to place a chaste kiss to his knuckles.

It couldn’t have lasted for more than half a second, but you had never seen anyone look so incredibly flustered in their life. His eyes went wide, almost round like egg yolks with little purple gems in them, a deep violet flush on his cheeks, fins flicking. His mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water (you would have laughed if you hadn’t been too drunk to realize the appropriateness of the analogy), but all that came out was a shaky exhale.

Cronus looked away and buried his face in his forearm, a very alien clicking sound coming from his throat, a small smile playing on his lips.

“You know I really thought we had a good black rapport…. I thought you hated me….” He mumbled after a minute with a little drunk giggle.

Well he wasn’t wrong… you definitely hated him. Or at least… you hated everything he represented. Or… you thought you did. “Well, I mean you definitely weren’t my favorite person in the world…. But hate’s a little harsh.” (To say out loud.)

He snorted. “Oh I was definitely waxin’ pitch for ya. I thought that’s why you gave me this gross drink.”

“It’s delicious, and if you keep insulting my beautiful concoction I’m gonna get mad.”

His laugh was breathy, “No, it’s legitimately disgusting as hell.” The troll chanced a glance at you, cheeks still flushed a bit, a candid, lopsided smile on his face. “’m not even pitch flirting anymore, this is the worst thing I’ve ever put in my mouth.”

[cevansbrat0007]

Sunday Night Sugar

Title: Sunday Night Sugar

Summary: It’s game day, and while you’re trying to get everything ready for your men’s viewing party, all Chris and Anthony want from you is a little Sunday Night Sugar before kick-off. 

Chris Evans x Black!Reader x Anthony Mackie

*Warnings: M/F/M, Needy Chris & Anthony (they are a warning), Smut, Oral (F receiving), Pet Names, CMNF, Manhandling, Spanking (mentioned), Light P*ssy Slapping, Frustrated Reader, Stupid Sports Supersitions, Minors DNI

A/N: So, I decided to try my hand at writing a fic featuring a reader with Chris and Anthony. Let me know what you think. Likes, comments, and reblogs are both loved and appreciated.  

—

Today was Game Day. 

You tiptoe out of the shower, breathing a sigh of relief when you notice that your men are still sleeping. Chris is on his back with an arm thrown over his head while Anthony is splayed out on his front with one leg hanging off the bed’s edge. Both are snoring peacefully, which gives you time to hastily throw on a pair of yoga pants, a bra, and a t-shirt. 

You sneak downstairs to the kitchen to grab your purse and keys before heading to the garage. Jumping in the car, you pray the sound of the garage door doesn’t wake either of them. You had errands to run this morning and you knew that if you didn’t leave now, you’d never make it out of the house. But first you needed coffee. 

—

You take a moment to sit in your car and enjoy your hazelnut latte and lemon raspberry danish while you mentally review your checklist. This morning you had to pick up your dry cleaning, make a beer run, and then stop by the grocery store. While you had planned to complete some of your tasks the day before, your men had barely let you out of their sight. If you weren’t cuddling in bed, then you were snuggled up on the couch watching mindless television. 

They’d literally spent the day passing you back and forth between them. Because, while Anthony and Chris weren’t romantically interested in each other, they were both equally interested in you. The problem was that your men were also very competitive. If Chris pulled two orgasms out of you, Anthony was determined to give you three. They’d wrought havoc on your pussy the night before. So much in fact, that you were still a little tender. 

As you secure your dry cleaning in the backseat you hear your phone buzz repeatedly in the front console, letting you know that your twin terrors were most likely awake and looking for you. You slide into the driver’s seat and scroll through the flurry of text messages. 

Anthony: It’s Game Day, baby. Where’d you go?

Chris: Yeah. Where are you? Why’d I have to wake up to Mackie?

Anthony: Maybe your snoring scared her out of bed, Evans.  

Chris: Oh fuck you, dude. You snore louder than I do.

Anthony: Bullshit! Baby, who snores louder? Me or him? Bet you $10 she says you, Chris.

Chris: Whatever, man. 

Chris: Y/N…why aren’t you responding? What are you doing?

You: You both snore. It’s annoying. I’m busy running errands. See you later. 

You turn off your phone, put the car in gear, and head to the liquor store. They needed beer, and you needed vodka. 

—

Your arms are laden with grocery bags when you sneak back into the house. You were a one-trip queen who’d rather collapse from exhaustion than make two unnecessary trips. Setting the numerous bags down on the counter, you take a moment to note how quiet the house is. A glance into the backyard lets you know that the boys were outside. Good. As far as you were concerned they could stay out there until kick-off. 

Shaking your head, you quickly begin unpacking your items and start prepping ingredients for the dishes you planned on making: Philly cheese-steak sliders, buffalo bacon chicken dip, stuffed pizza bombs, chipotle rubbed chicken wings, and taco salad. This was going to take awhile. 

You’re in the middle of putting the finishing touches on your homemade salsa when you hear the boys come back inside. 

“Seriously, man. Where is she?” Anthony huffs. “She knows better than to do this to us on game day.”

“I know, Mack. I know.” Chris sighs. “Guess we’ll just have to take your advice next time.”

“You finally down with tying her to the bed?” Anthony whispers conspiratorially. 

“Hell yeah. Gotta keep our little bird from flying the coop.” 

“See what I mean?” He responds with a boisterous laugh. While you couldn’t see them, you were pretty sure that they were fist bumping right then. 

You take a deep breath and get back to work, dropping some diced chiles into the mixing bowl. If they ever tried to tie you up without your consent they’d spend the rest of their lives walking with a limp. Finished with the salsa, you place it in the fridge to chill next to the freshly shredded cheddar cheese and your special sour cream sauce. Now it was time to brown the ground beef. 

The men go quiet at the sound of the fridge opening and closing. Oh wonderful, you think to yourself. Here they come. You make a point of not looking at them when they step into the kitchen. As the beef sizzles away in the skillet, you feel two strong, warm arms wrap around your middle. 

“Well hello there, Anthony.” You smile and breathe in his crisp, clean scent. Both he and Chris always smelled so good. He presses a soft kiss just behind your ear. And then Chris is at your side. Turning your head to face him, he makes quick work of capturing your lips. He tastes like coffee and chocolate. 

After a moment, Anthony pulls you backwards so he can deliver his own greeting, slanting his mouth over top of your own. He moans softly, deepening the kiss.

“Hey - don’t hog our girl!” Chris whines, only half joking. That’s when you remember that you were supposed to be cooking. You swat at both of them before they can start trying to stake their individual claim over you. 

“Okay, back off! Now.” You threateningly wave your greasy spatula at the two of them. They do move back, but only because they didn’t want to risk getting any of it on their clothes. Turning down the fire, you drain the beef before dumping it back into the skillet to add a dash of water, followed by your taco seasonings. 

“Alright guys, you got your morning sugar.” You flash them a bright smile. “Now please go find some other way to amuse yourselves.” You taste the meat, satisfied with the flavor. “Mmmm…” Perfection. 

“Oh, I’ve got several ideas.” Chris mumbles as his hands move to your waist. You shimmy out of his grasp. “No, Chris.” 

“Aw, you never tell Mackie no.” You roll your eyes. Some women had men, but you had apparently been blessed with man-children. 

“Same goes for you, Anthony.” You turn and poke him in his toned stomach. “Out of my kitchen, boys.” It was time for you to start on your crockpot buffalo bacon chicken dip. Anthony half grunts, half whines behind you. 

“But Y/N, you’ve been gone all morning and I’m feeling a little faint.” He pretends to sway on his feet. “I think I might be needing some more sugar.”

“You know, now that you mention it, I’m feeling kinda woozy too.” Chris chimes in. You resolve to ignore them both. 

“Then maybe you should both find somewhere to sit down. Might I suggest the living room?” 

“But what if we’re too weak to make it to –”

“Jesus! Then hold each other up.” You snark back. “If you end up collapsing I promise not to step on you.” That was a lie. You’d mostly likely kick them and then call for an ambulance. “Now please, I am trying to cook.” You dump another block of softened cream cheese into a new bowl before reaching for the bottle of Frank’s Red Hot. 

“And we wanna eat.” Anthony purrs, his fake feelings of dizziness magically disappearing. “We wanna eat you.” Your pussy flutters at his words, making you bite your lip. 

Chris reaches for you again. Your palm immediately goes to cover your mound when he tries to slip his hand down the front of your yoga pants, making him growl. He doesn’t like that one bit. “Stop it. I’m still a little sensitive from last night.” 

“Then let us kiss it better.” Your other boyfriend is now right next to you. He pries your small hand from your pussy, which allows Chris the opportunity to dip his hand inside. “Mm. No panties, baby?” You rise on your tiptoes as he gently cups and begins to massage your increasingly wet core. 

“Yo, man.” Anthony is quick to interrupt. “I won the coin toss. You get to hold our girl while I eat.” Your eyes shoot open. They had done…what?

“Wait…”

“Fuck, you’re right.” Chris snarls before removing his hand so he could tug your arms behind your back. The other man sinks to his knees. His thumbs hook themselves into the waistband of your pants as he prepares to pull them down.

“This is my favorite game day ritual.” He murmurs as he slides the fabric down your legs. “One good taste of this sweet pussy and we’re all but guaranteed a win.” His mouth dips down to deliver a hot, open mouthed kiss to your sopping wet pussy. Using his fingers to spread your lips for better access, his thick, flat tongue licks a long wet stripe from back to front. 

Sparks of pleasure shoot through you when he begins to methodically flick his tongue against your swollen clit. He lets that go on for a few moments before sucking the bud between his lips. Your back arches as you cry out his name. “Oh Anthony - fuck! Oh, oh, oh gaaawd!”

“And you wanted to deny Daddy his sugar. Shame on you, Y/N.” His tongue is practically vibrating against your clit. “Need you to cum on my face. Cover me with your sweetness.” He growls as he continues to feast on your most intimate flesh.

“Shit. That’s it honey. Love watching you take your pleasure.” Chris’ teeth nip your ear as his hand reaches under your shirt to unclasp your bra. You whine, grinding your supple ass against his hard cock. “Wish I was the one getting you to make those pretty little sounds. Should’ve made Mackie go best three out of five.” Your back goes ramrod straight when he says that. Anthony’s delicious mouth had almost made you forget about the coin toss. 

Suddenly irritated, you lift your bare foot to the kneeling man’s shoulder and forcefully push him backwards. He lands on his butt with an audible “oof”. 

“Let go of me, Chris. I’m not asking.” Confused, he lets you go. You tug your pants back up your still quaking thighs. God his mouth had felt divine. Your orgasm had been so close. “I need to finish cooking.”

“Y/N…why? I need to finish my meal so Chris can…” Argh! Fucking neanderthals. 

“Don’t worry about it. Get out of my kitchen or the only thing you and your friends will be enjoying today will be dry bologna sandwiches with a glass of tap water.” While you absolutely despised bologna, you’d force yourself to go buy some. You spin on your heel and head in the direction of the bathroom, needing a breather. Them and their goddamned game day superstitions.

By the time you finally return, both of your men have made themselves scarce. You’d deal with them later. You connect your phone to your bluetooth speaker and select a playlist. As the sounds Mary J. Blige’s track, Just Fine, fills your kitchen, you force yourself to ignore your needy pussy and get back to preparing appetizers. 

—-

A few hours later…

Knowing that the guys are going to arrive soon, you finish laying out your spread of food, plates, napkins, silverware, and beer. Satisfied with how everything looks you trot upstairs to take a shower and change. You hadn’t heard from Anthony or Chris since you’d booted them from the kitchen, but you knew they were around here somewhere. 

That somewhere happened to be your shared bedroom. They both look up at you as you enter. Offering them a brief smile, you inform them that the snacks and beer are all ready to go. Grabbing a towel, you pad towards the bathroom, only to be blocked by Chris who leans his sexy body against the door frame. 

“Little bird, we’ve still got some time before everything starts. Mackie and I really want to finish what we started downstairs…” He trails off as he begins to crowd you, herding you back towards the bed. You pinch his side, making him jump and then you pin them both with a glare.

“I am not here for your silly superstitions.” Letting go, you shoulder past him. “I need to shower. Interrupt me and I’ll make good on my promise about the bologna and tap water. Capiche?”

They both nod, looking defeated - not that you cared overly much. 

“Danny, Adam, and Juan are going to be here any minute. So just help yourselves to the food whenever you want.” 

You shut the door, turn on the water, and reach for your favorite body scrub. For the next few minutes you were just going to relax…

—-

Well, it was official. Your game day offerings were a hit. Your men, along with their friends, had happily devoured almost everything you’d made. The only snag in all of it was that the game was not going well. At least not for their chosen team anyway.

As the evening wore on, the more the mood dampened. Not for you, of course. You didn’t really like or understand football, but you did feel bad that your men were getting frustrated. 

You poke your head into the living room to inquire if anyone wanted another beer. The answer had been a resounding yes, which was perfect since you already had them in hand. You dole them out one by one, choking back a laugh when none of their eyes ever stray from the TV. Chris absentmindedly pulls you into his lap, while Anthony picks up your legs to rest them on his thighs, curling his beefy arm around them. 

“Uh, how’s everything going? With the game, I mean…”

“We’re tied up.” Their friend, Danny, mutters. His eyes remain glued to the screen.

“Oh.” That one word is all you have to offer. Chris begins to anxiously vibrate beneath you.

“Mmhm.” Juan takes a swig of his beer. “We’re going into overtime.” You do your best to offer a supportive grin as the game goes to commercial. 

“Alright guys,” Adam looks at everyone. “This is it. This is crucial. I need to know, did everyone keep up with their game day rituals?”

Juan is the first to nod. “Yep, I did my touch down dance with Amada and baby Maria before I came over.”

Aww, how sweet…

“You bet.” Danny joins in. “I’m wearing my game day boxers. Haven’t washed ‘em since the season began.” 

Oh, gross. You barely suppress a gag. None of this makes any sense to you.

“Okay, good, good. I made all three of my left turns and one right to get here. So we’re on track.” Adam salutes the group before training his attention on your men. “Alright, Evans and Mackie. It’s on you. I don’t even know what you do before a game, but don’t let us down.” Silence fills the room. 

Uh oh. Why did you get the feeling that this was quickly about to become all your fault?

Chris sighs and looks away, while Anthony makes a point of glaring at you. “We tried,” he growls. “But a little bird got in our way.”

The other men groan. You wince at the amount of curse words now zinging around the room. Adam buries his head in his hands. Danny lets his body dramatically slide off the couch and onto the floor. And Juan…well Juan just stares at you, his face filled with betrayal. 

“Querida, please tell me that you did not test the game day gods. C’mon…”

“She did.” Chris grunts as he buries his face in your shoulder. “She most definitely did.”

“Y/N upset the cosmos.” Anthony whines as he sags against the couch. “We should have been straight up with you from the beginning.”

You roll your eyes so hard it’s a miracle that you don’t lose them. “Okay, no. You five are not turning this around on me. All I did was spend half the day cooking food so you could enjoy the game, which you’re welcome for by the way.” You snag Chris’s beer and drain the rest of it before worming your way out of your men’s hold, which is no easy feat. 

“You want someone to blame, then you blame the big idiots running up and down the field. Otherwise, you can bite me. And no, I’m not bringing you another beer.” You hand Chris the bottle and retreat back into the kitchen, still bristling at the unfairness of it all. 

You work on packaging up the leftovers. The buffalo bacon chicken dip was basically gone. You knew Adam would want what was left of the pizza bombs, and that Juan had already claimed the last of the chipotle wings. Your men wanted the Philly cheese-steak sliders, so you put them in the fridge. But as far as you were concerned they could also starve. 

As for the taco salad, you scrape the remainder of the contents into some tupperware for your neighbor, Miss Loretta. She positively adored your taco salad and you had already promised to drop over whatever was left. 

Anthony takes that moment to waltz into the kitchen holding two empty beers. He discards the bottles and reaches for new ones when he notices the dish in your hands. “Where are you going with that?” He asks, raising one disgruntled brow.  

“I’m headed over to Miss Loretta’s for a minute. The other food is packaged up and sitting on the counter so -”

“Y/N, it’s too late for you to be walking around the neighborhood alone.” 

Your mouth falls open. “Honey, it’s barely 10:00pm and she only lives like four houses down. I’ll be just fine.” This neighborhood was perfectly safe. You went on late evening walks all the time when they were away filming. Not that they needed to know that.

“No, we’ll either walk you over after the game or you can take it by her place tomorrow.” 

Chris’ head pops into the kitchen. “Mackie, game’s back on. What’s taking you so long?”

He turns to face Chris, arms stubbornly folded across his chest. “Please tell Y/N that it’s too late for her to be strolling around the neighborhood by herself.”

“Huh?” He looks confused.

You scrub a tired hand over your eyes. “I’m just going over to Miss Loretta’s, Chris. It’s not a big deal.”

“Nah, I agree with Mack on this one. If it’s not too late, we’ll take you down there. If it is, then there’s always tomorrow.”   

“Whatever.” You mumble. 

“Thanks, sweet girl.” Anthony pecks a brief kiss to your lips before handing Chris his beer and then darting back towards the living room. You’d officially had it with men for the evening.  

“Good thing you two aren’t the boss of me!” You sing to yourself after a few moments before you turn and traipse out the front door.  

—

You loved Miss Loretta even more than she loved your taco salad. Sometimes you found yourself talking to her for hours on end. She was just a kind-hearted soul. Of course she’d been delighted to see you. Before you knew it, you had sunk into a cushy armchair and now the two of you were sharing a glass of ice cold lemonade. 

You chatted aimlessly about everything, including your boys. One of the things you loved most about the woman is that she never judged. In fact, she almost seemed envious of your position. You made it known how frustrated you were with both Chris and Anthony. You’d tried to spoil them today and instead they and their friends had begun to blame you for their stupid team’s inability to do their job. 

They’d lost by the way. By two points. The older woman had had the game playing softly in the background as she warmed up some salad for you both. Going back home to them was going to be super fun. 

You immediately dig in when she hands you a plate. You’re practically ravenous, realizing you hadn’t eaten much at all that day. You spoon some taco-flavored goodness onto a tortilla chip and happily munch away. 

“If I’ve learned anything about men, and I’ve learned quite a bit in my time, it’s that no matter how handsome, smart, or kind they are, they all have one thing in common.”

“Hmm. And what’s that?” You ask as you pop another gooey chip into your mouth. 

“They’re stupid. They think they know everything and they mean well, but deep down they’re really just stupid.” You cackle at that, laughing so hard you let out a snort.

“Agreed, Miss Loretta.” You lean over to clink your glass with hers. “Agreed.”

When you’re both done, she takes your plates and sets them in the sink. You try to apologize for eating the dish that was meant for her, but she simply hushes you and lets you know that she has more than enough left over for tomorrow.

You stand up, preparing to take your leave when you hear a soft knock at her door. Following behind her, you’re only mildly surprised to see Chris and Anthony standing on her front porch. 

“Why hello, boys!” One look at them and she’s already blushing. 

“Evening Miss Loretta.” Anthony is quick to turn on the Louisiana charm, while Chris flashes her with his dazzling boy-next-door smile. “We’re just here to collect our sweetheart.” He kisses her hand, making the old woman preen under his attention.

“That’s right. Can’t have our lady walking these streets alone at night.” You fight the urge to roll your eyes. It was four houses down from your own! Chris takes your hand in his and tucks you in between their warm bodies. “C’mon, it’s late. Let’s get you home, Y/N.”

You sigh and offer her a wave as they begin to lead you away. “Good night Miss Loretta. Thanks for the lemonade!” You call over your shoulder. 

“Good night, babies!” 

As soon as she shuts her door, you attempt to yank your hands out of their grasp. “I can walk by myself, you know.” They say nothing. You tug again, prompting a grumpy Anthony to swing you into his arms as you make your way back towards the house.  

“Put me down, damn it!” You squeal. 

“I’ll get the door, Mackie. You wanna take her upstairs?” He shoulders his way through the front door, holding it open for the two of you to cross the threshold. Now you really start to squirm. You almost get free, until he decides to flip you so that he’s got you locked in a football hold. 

How appropriate.

“Yeah. See you in a minute.” He hauls you up the stairs. “Jesus, Y/N. Why do you have to be so fucking difficult?” His breathing slightly labored when you decide to go limp his arms. 

You both collapse on the bed, his big body pinning yours. Anthony begins nipping at your neck and jawline. “The next time we tell you to wait, you had better wait.” His hands go to unfasten your jeans. You try to buck him off, but to no avail. 

“These are coming off, baby. Accept it.” He manages to pop the button and undo the zipper. He works your pants down to your knees just as Chris enters the room holding something in his hands. You sink your teeth into Anthony’s bicep, making him hiss in pain. 

“Aye, Chris. Think I could get a little help here?” 

The other man chuckles before striding over. “Couldn’t handle our little bird on your own, huh Mack?” 

“Shut up and get her pants off before she bites me again.” Chris leans down to wrestle the denim away from your body. You clamp your thighs together when he reaches for your panties.

“Oh come on now, Y/N. None of that.” Anthony sits up with you in his arms. He roughly pinches your nipple through the fabric of your bra, startling you just enough for the other man to rip the offending garment from your damp pussy.

They go for your shirt next, which prompts you to renew your struggle. Chris’ large, lightly calloused hand grips your chin. “We are trying to take care of you. So, unless you’d prefer a spanking, stop fighting us.” You quickly still your movements.

You allow Chris to remove your shirt, while the lover at your back makes quick work of your bra. And now you were sitting there between them, fully naked. You try to cross your arms over your breasts, as if they hadn’t already seen them many times before.    

Anthony moves the two of you closer to the headboard, so he can rest himself against it as Chris goes to grab the plate he’d brought up, along with a bottle of water. Leaning back against your boyfriend, you’re surprised when he maneuvers his body in such a way that allows his strong thighs to part yours - putting your eager pussy on full display. His hands also pry your arms from your chest. He cups your soft, full breasts so that he can toy with your nipples.

Chris sits down on the bed opposite you with a plate of Philly sliders in his hand. He pauses, taking a moment to admire the view in front of him. “Fucking beautiful. She’s so wet Mackie. Wish you could see.” 

Anthony’s left hand leaves your breast to stroke through your folds. He swirls his fingers through your wetness, paying special attention to your swollen clit, making you arch your breasts up and into Chris’ waiting mouth. He wastes no time laving at your nipple with his tongue before tugging at it with his teeth, making you mewl. 

After a moment Anthony reluctantly removes his fingers from your slick cunt. “God…” He groans, sucking his wet digits into his mouth. “We need to hurry up and feed her already. Our little pussy needs us, man.”

Chris nods and releases your pouting nipple with a slight pop. He holds a warm slider up to your lips. “Take a bite for us, baby. We know you’ve gotta be hungry.”

You were, despite the taco salad you’d enjoyed at Miss Loretta’s. You lean forward and sink your teeth into the sandwich, moaning softly at the flavor of the garlic butter, meat, and veggies. 

“Good girl.” They both murmur. You chew and swallow before leaning forward for the next bite. 

“We should have made sure you ate, Y/N. We neglected you today.” Anthony rumbles into your ear. 

“Guys, I’m an adult who is perfectly capable of feeding herself –”

“But you didn’t.” Chris encourages you to take another bite, which you do. Your tongue licks some of the melted butter off of his fingers. “You spent so much time trying to spoil us today that you didn’t take care of yourself.” He hands the bottle of water to the man behind you, who holds it to your lips.

“We should have been paying better attention to you, baby.” Chris nods at his words. “We’re sorry.” You start working on a second slider. You manage to wolf down a third before deciding you were all done. Anthony holds up the bottle so you can take another sip. “I promise we’ll do better next time.” 

“You just fed me. I forgive you.” You stretch in his arms. “But as much as I want to fuck you both silly, I’m exhausted. Rain check for tomorrow?”

“Of course, sweetness.” Chris coos at you. “But fair warning. We’re gonna want our sugar first thing in the morning, so no slipping out of bed.”

“And no more going out at night without us.” Anthony delivers a light smack to your still dripping pussy. 

“Okay, okay.” You giggle, resting back in his arms. “And I promise to give you all the sugar you can handle first thing in the morning.”   

END

[lustfuls]

edge

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: steve rogers x f!reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: what could possibly be more hotter than a heated argument with steve?

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 18+ smut, dumbification, daddy kink, oral sex m!receiving, degradation, edging, boot riding 😵‍💫

𝐰𝐜: 1.4k

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: debuting my smut writing career with this filthy garbage fire of a fic written at 2 am on a tuesday. enjoy bubbas <3

“what the fuck did i just tell you?” steve’s hand flew on your shoulder, forcing you to turn and face him for the first time after ignoring him throughout the whole ride. the unbothered expression painted onto your face only added more fuel to his burning fire.

“i told you to stay in cover, that was an order.” his teeth visibly gritted. as if that wasn’t enough, you decided to push his buttons even further. steve is toughly composed in nature, but you somehow have an effect on him that makes him so easily worked up.

“well, it was a shit order because you would’ve gotten killed.” you shot back, maintaining your nonchalance even though you could sense your patience wearing thin.

“listen, i don’t need you to take a bullet for me.” steve growled, his tall stature was menacing on its own and with his anger which is a side of him you rarely get to see continuously building up, it made you feel like a meek prey about to be devoured.

“you think i can’t handle it. you think i’m weak. is it why you think i always need to be protected by you? do me a favor and get your head out of your ass for fucking once, steve!” your voice raised higher than you intended, the sudden boost of ego that washed over you refused to let him see you cower and break. his face remained stern, his breathing was hot on your skin and poor little you had successfully flicked steve rogers’ switch.

“apologize to daddy now.” his tone was deep and commanding. apologize or i’ll give you another thing to regret. “make me.” your eyes narrowed, shooting fatal daggers at the super soldier in another attempt to strike his match, then combust. but you’ve already dived into the hot water deep enough and steve was not letting you swim back up.

“goddamn right, i’ll make you. get on your knees, brat.” steve spat. your breath hitched once your knees involuntarily met the cold floor on a whim, pupils dilating at the abrupt rush of adrenaline that coursed through your system. steve finds it cute how he makes you fucking mindless and controllable in just a matter of seconds. he always had this type of hold on you and he’s going to take advantage of that power whenever he can.

he took his time unbuckling his belt in a purposeful manner to taunt you. steve knew exactly what you wanted, but he planned to keep the bait out of your reach until you prove yourself well that you’re his good little bunny.

your mouth drooled, enduring the false anticipation steve had lured you into. your pleading eyes watched him discard the belt and he could only laugh at the desperate sight before him. “you’re only compliant when you know you’re getting my dick, aren’t you? too bad you have to earn it.”

what happened next felt like a sucker punch to the face as it left you in an unmoving dazed state. steve lifted his foot and inserted it between your thighs to separate them. “spread them apart for daddy.” and just like magic, your limbs distanced from each other so that you were in a straddling position above his combat boot.

“want my cock, bunny? ride my boot first. prove to daddy how much of a cockslut you are. maybe then i’ll give my cock to you.” he tapped his shoe against the floor urging you to start.

“go on, don’t make daddy wait.”

the way you immediately obliged just goes to show how far gone you are for him. you began grinding against steve’s boot, mindlessly, eagerly rubbing your clothed clit against the rough material. “mmhm, fuck!” you moaned at the delicious sensation of the hard leather being chased by your frantic movements.

“jesus christ, you’re making a mess, bunny.” steve chuckled at the glistening slick of your arousal coating his boot’s forefoot. “beg for daddy’s cock, bunny. wanna hear your stupid whiny voice beg for my cock.”

“p-pl-plea-“ you whimpered, unable to fully muster any words. your brain was too fogged up for coherent thoughts and you could only focus on getting off on steve’s foot.

“aww, my dumb baby is too cockthirsty to speak. do i need to fuck some sense back into you?” steve mockingly cooed, brushing the stray hairs out of your face to see your flushed cheeks and uncontrolled whimpering.

“y-yes.” you nodded, your knees buckled and began to shake at your climax approaching, you quickly latched onto steve’s leg for support from your breaking balance. “‘m g-gonna cum.” you sighed breathlessly, rocking your hips harder for stimulation.

before the tightening coil in your stomach could snap, steve mercilessly retreated his foot back making your pussy throb at the sudden loss of contact. “d-daddy, i n-need-“

“need to cum? not so fast, bunny. after that misbehavior you pulled it’s only fair that daddy deserves to feel your cum around his cock.” steve undid his pants, letting the fabric fall down to the ground with a harsh thud and his tremendously huge hard cock sprung out freely. “gonna put that bratty mouth to good use first,” steve cupped your jaw and aligned your lips to his cock with precision. “open wide, bunny.”

“such a fuckin’ whore, taking daddy’s big cock so well. that’s it, you love it when i use your mouth as my personal fucktoy.” hearing steve’s guttural groans was almost enough to regain your climax. he contined to thrust deep into your mouth, his tip touching the back of your throat reduced you into a pathetic gagging mess. “mhmm…” your muffled moans vibrated through his length, pushing him further to his high.

“be a good little bunny and swallow daddy’s cum, then i’ll give you your reward.” his calloused thumb gently wiped the tears rolling under your eyes, a beautiful irony. his affectionate gesture was a contrast to the lewdness you were both indulging yourselves into.

it didn’t take long until steve’s warm seed gushed out and landed on your tongue. “good fucking girl. so deserving of my cock now.” he praised after you showed him your empty mouth as proof. all it took was for steve to pat your head and stroke your dampened hair to make you swear a silent oath that you’ll always be a good girl for him starting then. “t-thank you, daddy.” you grinned proudly.

“lay down, bunny. let daddy take care of that sweet little cunt of yours, i can tell it’s begging for my attention.” he drove your body forward, until your bare back rested on the floor. his fingers glided against your wet folds, circling your sensitive bud earning a response from your hips bucking forward in urgency.

“so fucking sensitive, poor baby’s been holding back all this time, huh?”

“y-yes, daddy. n-need you to- fuck my tight cunt so bad, please, p-please, i’m all yours, daddy, please, fuck.” you blabbered under his teasing touch, unable to contain yourself anymore. after what it felt like years, steve shoved his cock right where it needs to be. the obscenely wet sounds of his cock pounding your pussy echoed the room and filled your ears like music.

“fuck bunny, your pussy feels so good.” steve hoisted your leg up and draped it on his shoulder, positioning you to an angle where he can fill you up at the right places and deliciously hit your g-spot.

“a-agh daddy, i’m so close!” you sucked a harsh breath when you felt your walls started to clench. “let loose, bunny. cum on daddy’s cock.” you rammed your pulsating pussy against him until your vision went hazy at your release. warmth inside your hole soon followed, as steve pumped the remaining of his fluids with his final thrusts.

relief bounced on your heaving chest and your eyes fluttered shut at your immense weariness. “c’mon, let’s get you cleaned up.” steve placed a soft kiss on your forehead, making you hum in delight.

steve, with his strong arms, carried your slumped body towards the bathroom. “i’m sorry for acting like a bitch. i didn’t mean to yell at you, stevie.”

“i could get use to it. just don’t do anything stupid like trying to take a bullet for me again, i have a shield for a reason. plus, you almost scared an old man to his death.” he joked.

“sure thing, grandpa.” did steve rogers just encouraged you to act like a bitch? you bet he did.