#I don’t know where I am please help me how even help don’t know but please am in weird worlds is there even some realer world outside of
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ddlydevotion · 1 day ago
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dating hamzah al-emad includes...
currently listening to: lust for life by lana del rey ft the weeknd ɞ˚‧。⋆
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Hamzah quite honestly doesn’t have too much experience when it comes to romantic relationships. He’s constantly worried that he’ll do or say something wrong, so please reassure him when the situation calls for it.
he lovelovelovess having you around him as much as possible. You honestly could never “bother” him, even if he’s editing/coming up with video ideas. One day you asked Hamzah if he’d like some alone time to get some editing done and he immediately said:
“no-what are you talking about? Here, come sit down.”
You’re one of the very few people that don’t easily overstimulate him lmao
This man has insane attachment issues when it comes to you and has no issue letting you know when he misses/wants to see you. You could be out of the apartment running errands and your phone will be filled with messages from him.
‘me and the cats miss u very much btw if u even care…’
‘when are you coming homeee ;(‘
Please don’t be shocked when he comes up to you asking for very specific things that he may need for a video involving Martin. For example, where do you think he got the skirt for his White Chicks costume? Exactly.
Even if someone is meeting him for the very first time, they’ll immediately be able to tell he has a girlfriend because he’s constantly wearing something symbolic of you. That bracelet you randomly made him one night? It’s practically glued to his wrist. Your claw clip practically has a home on his belt loop. So, these little things make it pretty easy for people to decipher the fact that he’s taken.
Recording with Martin takes up quite a bit of his time so he’s constantly putting in the effort to see you, hear your voice, and speak with you in general. You’re constantly receiving photos/videos/voice memos from Hamzah when he’s in the middle of filming.
He always makes sure to bring you something back when Martin and him visit a restaurant, or a location that’s stocked up on items he knows you enjoy.
Hamzah has been through a whole lot and has experienced his fair share of loneliness. He isn’t too good with his words/voicing just how much you and your presence mean to him but he tries soso hard. There’ll be a lot of sighs and stutters filling the pauses in his sentences but that doesn’t stop his adoration from shining through.
“I just- I love you so much, y/n. I hope I say it enough, y’know? I’m really serious about you and I know I might not be the most experienced guy when it comes to this, but I hope that doesn’t make you doubt how serious I am about you. Because I am- serious about you, I mean.”
These sorts of conversations tend to happen late at night when the warmth between your two bodies blossoms endlessly. He holds you tight as your cheek is pressed against his chest. He can’t help but hold you the same way he’d hold a knife.
In his eyes, the two of you are in this for the long run and he doesn’t hide his intentions of marrying you. He even slipped up and called you his wife in a video once.
‘Yesterday, me and my wife- well…make that my future wife.’ and then a cheesy lil smirk spreads across his face 😭
He even made the both of you in Sims and made it so that the two of you got married. Mandy and Martin couldn’t help but tease him about it.
He loves you with his entire fucking being and he wants nothing but to be good for you, good to you, be the one to make you smile, laugh, feel at ease. He adores being able to do domestic activities with you since it gives him a glimpse into how it’ll be like once the two of you eventually get married. As I said, he puts in soooo much effort into making you happy so he definitely attempts to get good at cooking so he can surprise you with breakfast in bed/homemade dinner. He stills puts in the effort to learn how to cook even if you already know how to. He wants to surprise you so bad so pls let him (╥‸╥) (even if the French toast he made is a lil burnt)
Follows you around like a lost puppy. His hand is constantly reaching for yours, his arms are instantly wrapped around you as soon as the two of you get into bed, he always makes room for you to sit in his lap.
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a/n: I haven’t written in quite awhile but I had to come back since my obsession with this man has worsened this past week 😞. Feel free to send requests 💌🧸
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emsdevs · 5 hours ago
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🎁 14 with quinn 👀
a/n: kirby my love, this one is for you 🧡 i know you love your angst
Prompt 14: "Please. Please just listen to me."
Birthday Celly 2025 Masterlist | masterlist
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You never thought it would come to this. You thought you and Quinn were forever. Everything had been perfect until you had started seeing less and less of him. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d been on a date, and he barely held a conversation with you now. You knew bringing it up would be difficult, but you hadn’t imagined it would blow up like this.
“Quinn, we barely talk anymore! When was the last time you kissed me? A real kiss, not some reflexive kiss on the cheek when you get home from a roadie!” you weren’t sure when it started, but the two of you have been shouting back and forth so long your throat is starting to feel scratchy.
“That’s not fair! Do you know how busy I am?”
“Oh, trust me I know! The only thing I hear about anymore is the Canucks! The team needs this! The team can’t do that! God, Quinn, even when you were hurt and had absolutely no business being on that ice, you couldn’t shut up about your team! Sometimes, it’s like you forget I even exist! Like I’m just some housemaid or someone to come to when you need relief! Except we don’t even do that anymore do we?”
“Maybe it’s because you’re so clingy! I mean, Jesus, I barely get a moment to myself! You’re so obsessed with me! This isn’t even that serious!” 
Your face goes blank the second the words leave his mouth. This isn’t even that serious? He didn’t tell you he wanted to break up, but with those five words, Quinn just ended your relationship.
“It isn’t that serious?” you’re fuming now, and he can tell by how level your voice is. “So what? You’ve been stringing me along for over two years? Let me move in? You remember me having to get permanent residency for this right? All of that and it’s not serious?”
“Babe don’t-”
“No you’re right, Quinn. I’m leaving. You can have your space back. I’d hate to take it anymore since you so obviously don’t want me here,” you head to what was a shared bedroom not even two hours ago. You pack all your bags, at least what you would need for a couple of days, and Quinn does nothing but stand there and watch. He doesn’t speak up again until you’re leaving the bedroom and heading for the front door with your suitcase in tow.
“Baby, c’mon. You’re being dramatic. Where are you even gonna stay?”
“Oh, no! Clingy and dramatic! Guess I really need to get out of your hair then. And where I’m staying is not of your concern anymore,” you roll your eyes, attempting to continue on your path to the door when he blocks it.
“Please. Please just listen to me. It doesn’t have to end like this. We don’t have to end like this,” he’s begging now, and as pitiful as he looks, you can’t find it in yourself to care anymore. You’re tired of sitting around, waiting for him to give you attention like some dog sitting at the door waiting for its owner to return. You have to get out.
“Just stop, Quinn. It’s done. We’re done. No second chances. I’ve given you too many to begin with. If you didn’t want this to end, you should’ve tried harder to keep me before it was too late. Hopefully, you can find someone a little less clingy and obsessive.”
You walk away, not looking back once the door is shut. You just closed a huge chapter in your life. Anyone else would probably be rejoicing right now, basking in the feeling of being free from a situation that wasn’t good. Somehow, though, you can’t help but feel like this might have been a mistake.
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tearsaura · 3 days ago
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In the woods, the monster awaits // Eris Vanserra x reader
Based on this comment by @astarionsdurge thank you so much for this prompt! I hope you like it.
picture is from pinterest: tanema3
Word count: 1.2k
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The estate was much quieter nowadays. Visiting it served only two purposes: seeing my mother or following up on court business. It always felt cold, which is ironic since our power was quite the opposite.
My father’s office was the furthest away at the highest floor and even that didn’t seem far away enough from us. As I climbed up the stairs and entered his space a few moments later, the familiar smell of his cologne hit me and it made my skin crawl.
“We must check in with y/l/n. The magic on our borders is wearing of. There has been an increase on beasts in the woods and if they get any closer, they’ll feast on the village by noon and on us by the evening.” Beron said without looking up from his papers as I stepped closer to his desk.
Well hello to you too father!
Yes, I am doing alright thank you for asking!
Our army shrinks with every day that passes but you already knew that and you refuse to do anything about it! What will you do when there are none left, even for you?
How are you feeling? Any chance that you step down and free this court from its misery?
My father, the high lord of the autumn court, summoned me at dawn to complain, like he usually did. He did take me by surprise that he decided to do something about it instead of delegating it to someone else. Maybe the thoughts of being a meal for some beasts did worry him.
“Shall I meet up with him today?”
“No, I already scheduled to meet up and I want you to accompany me, I need to have a word with him first but after that it is going to be your problem.” He said, raising from his chair.
With other words, he wanted the people from the village to think that he does care about them. That’s what he usually does: Goes to the poorer villages occasionally, act as if he cares, promises them that he works something out to help them but never actually does it. He wordlessly walked out, his guards trailing after him. I sighed, counted to ten, and went after them.
The horse ride to the boarders went quietly thankfully. I tuned out my fathers talking and took in the lands. The autumn court was beautiful, especially the forest. We reached the said place at the border shortly, and nobody was there. I got off my horse and gave him something to eat before joining my father, who was already seething. It was astonishing, how short his patience ran.
“This is unacceptable. Where is the old man?” Beron complained as he dismounted his horse, walking further into the woods.
Please dear mother, let this man get lost in there and never come back.
“This is a forest, he probably needs some time to find us because it looks all, you know, the same.” I claimed, walking after him whilst keeping my distance.
“I am the high lord of the autumn court! I do not have the time or the nerve to wait on some old Witcher to find his way to the place I ordered him to get to on time. He’s a Witcher don’t they sense people?”
“We don’t. We only sense the magic, or well, the lack of it.” A feminine voice called and as I turned around, I was sure that reality had left me. The unknown woman came towards us, my father taking a few steps back as his guards stepped in front of him.
She nearly made me drop to my knees. There were no words on this world that would do right in describing how beautiful she was. No music could come close to the sound of her voice. Without thinking, I stepped closer to her.
The woman raised up her hands in surrender. “No need to draw weapons. I am not here to harm you, high lord. My father sends me: y/l/n, the old Witcher?” she said, a coy smile graced her red lips. Of course, I personally hadn’t seen her father but her signature light grey, almost white, eyes gave her away as a family member of the witches.
“Why didn’t he come himself? I specifically told him that he should come. One would think that the order of the High lord where to take-” “He went to another weak spot. Sadly, this area isn’t our only problem. It took me a while to find you because the magic is missing in multiple places.”
I swallowed. One leakage was bad, but manageable. Multiple where a bad sign. Something was wrong.
“So, what can we do about it?” I asked, her eyes now fixating on me. They looked just like the sky during autumns stormy afternoons. Very hard to look away from, pulling me deeper into this trance.
“You are?”
“Eris. Eris Vanserra.” She continued to look at me, her head tilting slightly. She had a mole right over her upper lip on the left side.
“My oldest son.” I hadn’t even realised that my father had stepped closer too. “He will take over this matter and you’ll correspond directly to him. Unfortunately, I must go. Court affairs.” He said, before he went to his horse, his guards trailing after him.
She waited for a few moments, watching my father and his guards leaving and as they became a small figure in the distance, her attention turned back to me.
“I feel sorry for lady autumn. It must be tiring to listen to this man for even a second, I fear.”
“You have no idea.” I replied and she gave me another smile. She had dimples.
“So, my father and I are working on resurrecting the old magic that was used. But it is many centuries old and all the tomes we have need to be translated first. We will work with lesser magic until we have it but that would only last days or weeks at most. For the time being I would stay here to make sure that everything is alright.” She said, stemming her hands on her hips as she observed.
She smelled divine. Oranges with a hint of vanilla. He wanted to wrap her scent around him for the rest of his life.
“The Forrest house isn’t far from here. You can stay there.” I blurted, her eyes widening in surprise. “Oh, that is quite all right I thought about bringing a tent-” “A tent? Absolutely not. You are saving your people with your work. The least I can do is make sure that you have an actual roof over your head.” I said, stepping closer to her. She bit her lip, as she looked up to me, the confidence from before replaced with sudden shyness.
“Thank you, Eris.”
Eris. That’s what did it. I suddenly felt the thin golden thread pulling me towards her and my breath hitched.
Mate.
Must protect her, must keep her safe.
I found my mate. I took everything in me not to blurt it right out.
“Of course.” I whispered, before I held out my arm to her hoping that she didn’t notice it trembling.
“I’ll bring you there.”
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moonselune · 2 days ago
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hiya!!
could u write for that prompt u already did, with muscular woman tav, wearing a wavemother robe, but with Jaheira, Karlach, and Shadowheart? Thanks!
yesssssssssssssssss this was so fun to write!
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Karlach:
You take a deep breath, smoothing your hands over the silken fabric of the Wavemother’s Robe, feeling a little ridiculous. The garment is light, flowing, and drapes over your frame in a way that feels almost foreign. You’ve never worn something so delicate before—so soft, so utterly not made for someone like you.
You glance at yourself in the small mirror shard you keep in your tent. The robe barely reaches past your knees, and with your broad shoulders and powerful frame, it seems like it should be out of place on you. Yet… it isn't ugly. Just different.
Still, you can’t shake the nagging thought in the back of your head—what if it looks wrong? What if Karlach sees you and—
You shake the thought away and step out of your tent. The second you do, Karlach freezes. You blink at her, confused. She was mid-step, having clearly been about to approach, but now she just stands there, staring. Her mouth is slightly open, her golden eyes locked onto you like a predator that’s just spotted prey.
And then, steam—actual, literal steam—starts rising off of her skin.
“Karlach?” you ask, feeling more self-conscious than before. “You okay?”
She makes a small, strangled noise in the back of her throat.
You frown. “Do I look stupid?”
"Stupid?" Karlach finally manages to choke out, blinking rapidly like she’s trying to reboot her entire system.
Her hands are twitching at her sides, fingers flexing like she can’t decide whether she wants to reach out and touch you or just explode where she stands.
“You—you absolute goddess.” Karlach breathes the words out in pure reverence, eyes raking over you so intensely that you actually feel hot under her gaze. "How—what—fuck.”
Your brow furrows. “You like it?”
Karlach laughs. It’s a breathless, wild thing, like she can't believe you even asked. “Like it? Babe, I am fighting for my life right now.”
You blink. “…What?”
“Do you—do you even know what you look like right now?” Karlach gestures wildly at you, practically vibrating. “You're a foot taller than me, built like a gods-damned mountain, wearing that.” She swallows hard. “Do you have any idea what that’s doing to me?”
You stare at her. Then glance down at yourself. Then back at her.
“…No?”
Karlach makes another strangled sound. Then, before you can react, she lunges. You barely have a moment to brace yourself before you’re body-tackled back into your tent, landing on your back with an "oof!"
Karlach is already crawling over you, her hands hot against your skin as she yanks at the silken fabric, her breathing ragged.
“I—I should—I should help you take this off,” she stammers, but her hands are moving before she even finishes the sentence.
You let out a stunned laugh. “That desperate, huh?”
Karlach growls, low in her throat. “Babe, I am about to combust.”
She isn’t lying—there’s actual heat radiating from her, and her engine is whining with the strain of keeping it together.
You smirk up at her, reaching up to cup her flushed face, fingers brushing over the cooling vents on her cheeks. "Guess that means I should wear this more often, huh?"
Karlach groans. "Please don’t, I will literally die."
You laugh, only for her to kiss you so fiercely that all your thoughts vanish in a haze of heat, silk, and strong hands pulling you closer.
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Shadowheart:
You take a deep breath, adjusting the Wavemother’s Robe as it drapes over your body. The fabric is soft, flowing in a way that feels foreign against your battle-worn skin. It barely reaches past your knees, and the loose, delicate sleeves do nothing to hide the sheer power of your arms. You feel wrong in it—too big, too solid, too much of everything this robe wasn't made for.
With a sigh, you step out of your tent, bracing yourself for whatever reaction you’re about to get. You don’t expect to find Shadowheart completely frozen in place.
She stands a few feet away, lips slightly parted, silver eyes wide as they slowly drag down your body and then back up again, as if she can’t quite believe what she’s seeing.
“…Shadowheart?” you say, feeling even more self-conscious.
No response.
You shift your weight slightly, watching her, and that’s when you notice—her hands are clenched into fists at her sides, white-knuckled. Her jaw has gone slack. And her knees—her knees are actually, visibly weak.
You narrow your eyes. “Are you okay?”
She finally seems to snap back to reality—only she doesn’t look at your face. No, her gaze is locked firmly lower, just slightly south of where your collarbone dips beneath the robe’s neckline.
You follow her line of sight. Then, after a pause, you slowly cross your arms over your chest. Shadowheart’s lips press together, her eyes still glued downward. You snap your fingers in front of her face.
She flinches, blinking rapidly, as if being pulled from some sort of trance. “I—uh—”
You raise an eyebrow. “Were you staring at my chest this entire time?”
There’s a beat of silence, and then Shadowheart—normally so composed, so controlled—actually flushes, a deep pink creeping up her pale cheeks. “No.”
You deadpan. “You absolutely were.”
Shadowheart clears her throat, straightening her posture in a pathetic attempt to regain dignity. “I was simply… admiring the craftsmanship of the robe.”
You narrow your eyes. “Uh-huh. The craftsmanship.”
She clears her throat again, glancing away. “Yes. The, uh… stitching is very fine.”
You take a slow step toward her, watching as her pupils dilate slightly. “You’re still staring.”
Shadowheart swallows, her voice quieter now. “Can you blame me?”
You smirk, amused by her rare flustered state. “I could if you were being a little less obvious about it.”
Shadowheart exhales sharply, her hands twitching at her sides as if she desperately wants to touch but is restraining herself. Then, after a pause, she exhales and looks up at you with something unreadable in her expression—an almost challenging glint.
“Perhaps I should be punished for my bad manners,” she murmurs, voice deceptively soft. “Wouldn’t you agree?”
You feel your smirk widen, a slow heat curling in your chest. “Oh? Is that so?”
Shadowheart tilts her head slightly, a sly smile tugging at her lips. “I am but a humble servant of Shar, after all. I do enjoy a little… discipline.”
Your stomach flips, and suddenly, the insecurity you had felt earlier is a distant memory. Shadowheart isn’t just attracted to you—she’s weak for you.
And, well… maybe you can use that to your advantage.
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Jaheira:
The Wavemother’s Robe feels wrong from the moment you put it on.
It’s soft, flowing, and light—too light. The way it drapes over your broad shoulders and cinches at your waist feels alien, unnatural. You tug at the fabric, scowling, adjusting the way it falls over your muscular frame, but it doesn’t help. You are a warrior. You’re built to cleave through enemies, to stand tall on the battlefield, to strike fear into those who would dare cross you. Not to wear something that makes you look like a damn priestess.
You glance at yourself in the mirror—well, as much of your reflection as you can see in the dull metal of your weapon. You could be intimidating in this, you suppose. It still shows the power in your arms, the strength in your stance. You could be some ancient warrior-goddess, draped in divinity, untouchable and terrible in your beauty.
…Or you could look ridiculous.
You exhale, shaking your head. This was a mistake. You should just take it off before anyone sees—
“Are you coming out, or are you just going to hide in there all night?”
Jaheira. You freeze, eyes widening slightly before you curse under your breath. There’s no escaping this now. Steeling yourself, you push open the flap of your tent and step out.
And Jaheira stops dead in her tracks. She had been approaching with her usual effortless confidence, arms crossed, brow raised, ready to tease you about how long you’d taken. But now?
Now she just stares.
Her mouth parts slightly, but no sound comes out. Her sharp green eyes drag over your form—slowly, like she’s cataloging every inch of you, every detail. She’s standing stiffly, her jaw tight, her fingers twitching at her sides.
You hesitate. “…Jaheira?”
Nothing. Not even a blink. She is utterly, completely frozen.
You shift, feeling suddenly self-conscious. “You’re staring.”
At that, Jaheira blinks—like she’s just remembered how to function—and immediately scowls. “I—what—no, I am not.”
You smirk. “You absolutely are.”
“I am merely—” she cuts herself off, clears her throat, then attempts again. “—merely assessing your choice in attire.”
“Uh-huh.” You tilt your head, stepping closer. “And?”
Jaheira opens her mouth, then closes it. Her lips press into a firm, thin line, like she’s physically forcing herself not to say something she’ll regret. But then—gods help her—her gaze dips again, and you can see her willpower crumbling before your eyes.
A faint flush creeps up her neck.
You raise an eyebrow. “Jaheira… are you flustered?”
Her eyes narrow. “Of course not.”
You step closer, watching as her shoulders stiffen, watching as her gaze flickers—just briefly—to the way your muscles flex beneath the fabric.
She inhales sharply through her nose.
You let out a low, satisfied chuckle. “Oh, this is fantastic.”
Jaheira groans, pinching the bridge of her nose as if physically pained. “Do not make me regret ever looking at you.”
You smirk. “A little late for that, isn’t it?”
She exhales, long and suffering, but now she refuses to meet your eyes—her pride won’t let her. Instead, she folds her arms behind her back, straightens her spine, and in the most dignified voice she can muster, says, “Well. I suppose you look… decent.”
Your grin widens. “Decent?”
She scowls. “Acceptable.”
You step even closer, lowering your voice. “Jaheira.”
She glares at you, and yet her ears have turned red. “Fine,” she snaps. “You look devastating. Now get away from me before I embarrass myself further.”
You laugh, throwing an arm around her shoulders despite her protests. “You already embarrassed yourself, my love.”
Jaheira groans into her hands, but she doesn’t pull away. If anything, she leans into you just the slightest bit. And if you catch her sneaking another glance at you later that night—well, you’ll let her have that small victory.
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hehehe I love writing my simpy horny girls. Also idek what I was on complaining that the Lucille font had changed, clearly my mac was just having a moment. Anyway hope you guys enjoyed it! - Seluney xox
If you want to support me in other ways | Help keep this moonmaiden caffeinated x
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retiredteabag · 3 days ago
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sorry for informality but i was stalking reading your pinned post and you’re in grad school at twenty!??!!!
unless i’m tripping or misunderstanding something, academic weapon tips please because holy shit that’s insane! what’s ur field of study if you want to talk about it/don’t mind me asking? any application tips/things you wished you knew before getting there/habits you wished you’d formed sooner? independent research has always been difficult for me because of how much i depend on structure (adhd imposter syndrome anxiety lets go) so if you’re working on a thesis/something similar, how has the process been in your experience?
i’m in undergrad atm and heavily debating going further, so i’d love to hear from someone my age who’s actually doing it! also unrelated, but i’m a certified notion/goodnotes girlie if you vibe with those as study resources!
🎸 tagging with an emoji in case i pop back around, yk?
I'm sorry to say, but my tips might come off as sort of typical... but I hope they're at least a little helpful!
I am currently in a masters program within the analytics field. Research/independent studies vary widely depending on the area of specialization, however, my program has an intensive practicum that is similar in nature. I have not started it yet, but what I can say for sure when it comes to research: make sure you are picking a topic that you could speak about for hours/answer argumentative questions about.
For applications, I would say to narrow your options down as much as possible and look into each program before applying. Know the curriculum and standard outline and what stands out to you as you decide.
^ on this same note, you will likely need at least one interview in the application process. Speak slowly and enunciate. Taking a moment to think of the proper words will always be better than speaking quickly without much thought. Most people say to use "down-speak" in these interviews, but in my experience, matching the examiners tone and energy makes the whole thing much more comfortable.
For study tips, I have a large notebook that I keep on my desk where I write down every assignment and the date that it is due. This is just for organization purposes, I find a physical copy helpful for a few reasons but also because crossing them off feels rewarding :]
Time managment is incredibly important. Everyone says this because it is true. Prep everything, organizing your day into chunks. Since you also like structure, this probably wont be an issue. I would also get comfortable with being self-aware of your priorities. There will come a time when you will need to choose between academics/work and other areas of your life.
Keep your spaces clean. Dedicate a day or so to just organizing/doing a deep clean. It will help you stay focused and minimize external anxiety. It’s also much easier to keep a place clean if you have put in such an effort.
Participate in class. I cannot make this clear enough. I promise it is not embarrassing to ask questions or "try". You will learn far easier if you put effort into the classroom/lecture setting.
It is a pretty typical "tip" is to just ask questions. Even if you feel like you might understand, just ask to make sure. And in this same vein, go to office hours if you need to.
Prioritize sleep lol, that and mental rest. You can't always be studying. For me, it is a real challenge to work and be full time in school so it's important to carve out those sections of "you time".
Try not to be on your phone tooooooooo much, I know it’s hard but I make an effort to not be on my phone while eating. Don’t use entertainment as a distraction, I find that it just delays anxiety :(
Lastly, apply for scholarships and know that you absolutely can appeal for more money.
I hope this was useful. Do know that it REALLY depends on your area of study and 5-year-plan. I would recommend not going to grad school unless you're absolutely sure it is worth it.
Good luck!
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smellslikechahnspirit · 12 hours ago
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[Book]
Are we good for each other?
5. Room
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Bang Chan x F. Reader
Synopsis: Written according to y/n trophy. A story about how you two met. Both having a difficult life, finding peace in each other. Not without lots of drama. Just read it, it's great.
Genre: Enemies to lovers, soft, some smut, drama
Warnings: Under eating, depression, toxic ex (Let me know if I missed something)
Word count: 3200
______________________________
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[8:25 AM]
Chris opened the door to his shared dorm, as he guided you in with your crutches. You just came back from the hospital where you got a cast on your leg. “Well, that was a disaster...”, you said. “I mean the ankle sucks, but it’ll heal. I’m more worried about your eating habits y/n. Please explain to me why you haven’t been taking care of yourself.”, Chris asked.
As you two walked in you looked around. It was indeed a very different aesthetic than the other dorm. He then helped you sit down on the couch in their living room. “Well, I want to eat, it’s just…”, you said, stopping in the middle of the sentence, not wanting to finish it. You simply didn’t have enough money right now, but the last thing you wanted was a rich guy pitting you, and maybe try to offer you stuff. That’s just everything you didn’t want.
“Y/n….I know you’re struggling with money and I don’t know, maybe you feel too embarrassed to tell me or whatever, but I’m here, I can help you ou- “, Chris said as you cut him off. “No, I don’t want any help. I know what you’re trying to do, and just be a nice human, but I just can’t, it would ruin my ego and dignity. So please don’t ever offer me anything like that ever again.”, you said wanting to get back up again so you could leave.
“Okay okay, I’m sorry, I understand. But right now, it’ll be on the company. Since you work at our building now technically, meals are free. So even though you do not want to take anything from me, I’m ordering us something in their name. I won’t take no for an answer. You need food in your system right now, period.”, he said holding your arm so you couldn’t get up.
You were too weak mentally and physically to argue right now so just gave in and agreed. “What do you like to eat, rice? Maybe some pasta? Tell me.”, he asked. You looked at him with a faint expression. “Whatever you want…”, you said as you lay your head back on the couch and closing your eyes. “Alright I’ll choose something. Meanwhile, let’s not worry about the gaming for today. Let’s just hang out here for a bit.”, he said as he got you a blanket. He put it over your body as you tried to get cosy.
“Can we maybe put on a movie?”, you asked him. He was glad you were acting more social to him than before, first you seemed distant, but now he felt more at ease with your behaviour towards him. “Here, put on anything you want.”, he said as he handed you the joystick of the gaming console in the living room.
He then went to the kitchen to get some drinks and called the food company to order. At first when you looked, you wanted to instantly open up the streaming app on there, to in fact choose a movie. But right next to it you saw a racing game. Your gaming heart couldn’t resist.
You clicked on it, and loaded into the only account that was on there, it said: Han Jisung. You didn’t care since all you wanted was to just play a match or two. Then you saw the rank. It was silver 2 division 3. You laughed.
Not to be rude, but that was really low. You didn’t want to mess with his rank and went on a guest account. So, you did and clicked 3v3 rumble. As the match loaded, Chris came back from the kitchen. He looked over at you as he asked what movie you picked. Then he looked at the screen.
“He he he…”, you grinned. He smiled at you and put the drinks down. Then he sat next to you. “Hmmm nice one, I’ve seen that one before.”, he said sarcastically. “I just needed to at least rank diamond 3.”, you said with desire in your voice. “Yeah, I have no idea what that means, but yay I guess.”, he said as he looked at you. You looked back at him.
You explained the ranking as he stayed quiet and just listened to you. Admiring your face while you spoke. Gosh you were beautiful he thought to himself. “So, if I play a few rounds, we’ll find out what rank I’ll be and well, I don’t expect anything lower than at least Plat, for now at least.”, you said as the match suddenly started. You turned you focus back to the screen, but his didn’t.
He just hummed in agreement but kept looking at you. “Hey, you should pay attention here, you need to learn right?”, you said since you saw him staring at you instead of the screen, from the corner of your eye. “I thought we weren’t learning today...”, he said as he kept looking at you and not the screen. You just glanced over real quick and laughed. “I guess so...hehehe”, you said, still very concentrated.
After 5 minutes the game was over and you and your team won, obviously. You even became MVP on the scoreboard. “GG bitches.”, you said out loud to be funny and stereotypical. You laughed and put the controller down on the coffee table for a second.
You turned your head back towards Chris and noticed he in fact did not move a single muscle and was still admiring you. Not in a creepy way but he was just so amazed by you and you excitement, it made him smile. “Whut?”, you asked him. “Nothing, you’re just amazing.”, he said. Then instantly realising what he just said and became as red as a tomato.
He looked down and smiled to himself. You stayed quiet. But you now finally saw it. Was he having a thing for you? Was this tension between you guys mutual? At first you wanted to be professional and not give into these strange feelings. But something in you felt so comfortable with him all of a sudden. You then also remembered how he helped you in the gym, and also how he stayed by your side in the hospital. How he was being too generous and taking care of you. You looked over to your glass. It had 2 ice cubes and a little pink umbrella in it. Even a mint leaf.
“Why are you being so nice to me?”, you asked him, who was now sitting only about half a meter away from you. “Some people are worth caring for…”, he said. He knew you hated being pitied, so he would never want you to feel that way towards him ever again. Yet he also felt this desire towards you. He did really like you and liked you as a person. You were funny and sarcastic, even a little bit goofy, and maybe somewhat like him, strong.
He knew you weren’t gonna give up your fight and it made him feel like he was not alone. Like you knew what it was like, having a hard time and he couldn’t really share those feelings with anyone else these last couple of years. He wanted someone to be able to agree with him and understand his hardship. He felt like you and him were the same in a way, and felt a great connection, even though you two only just met.
You smiled at him. Something in you was really attracted to him. All the worries from before were gone, and all you felt was a great desire to kiss this man in front of you. You were doubting yourself, since normally you wouldn’t do something like this with someone you’ve just met. But you felt it, he definitely felt the same way about you. No words had to be used. Only this diamond plated tension. You were so desperate now. But you knew you had to be patient.
As you both just stared at each other, both wanting to kiss, you said: “Maybe, we shouldn’t…”. As you said that he pulled away a bit and looked at you. “I know…I didn’t mean to…”, he said. “No I know, but…I just got hired at your company, and I feel like if we go there already right now, people might get the wrong ideas. That I indeed am privileged like that right now. To be able to work there and I don’t know, there many things people could think, you know some people have fucked up minds, like what if you’re a sugar daddy or I don’t know… I would just feel bad if anyone-“, he shut you up, by indeed kissing you.
His kiss was soft and tender. “I don’t care.”, he said, as you looked at him with big eyes, in shock. “Let them think whatever the fuck, no one is here, no one knows shit.”, he said. You kept looking into his eyes and thought the same thing now. You pressed your lips against his this time and pulled him even closer than before.
Both of you eager to continue this hot make out. He was pulling you closer. You rubbing your hands around his neck, shoulders, arms, then finally locked hands with him. He helped you sit on his lap, straddling him. You were both lost in lust as the kiss continued. “Fuck..”, he said between kisses. “I don’t know what I’m doing but I like it.”, you said right after.
He grabbed your ass and squeezed it tight. You left out a soft moan. Chris normally wouldn’t have done anything like this with anyone, let alone with a girl he just met. But as I’ve said before, he was so lost in the feeling.
“Gosh, I want you…”, he said as he had his hands at the bottom of your dress, ready to take it off. “Wait, what if anyone just comes in? Stop.”, you said as you stopped him from doing anything else. He looked at you with red cheeks and out of breath. Without saying anything he stood up with you still on his lap. Now holding you with your legs around his waist, as he walked towards his bedroom.
When he reached the door you kissed him again. He walked in, and placed you on the bed softly, carefully because of your ankle. When you lay down you giggled. He went back to the door to close it and lock it, just to be sure.
You looked adorable like that and he admired you from a distance. As he slowly walked over to you, he reached for his shirt, and pulled it off his body in a swift motion. You gasped softly when you saw his body. You stopped giggling and sat up straight.
When he reached you, you instantly brought your hands towards his abs. Gliding over them, up toward his pecks, then his shoulders and pulled him down so he was also on the bed now. Sitting, facing you. He smiled and grabbed the hem of your dress again. You were signalling that it was okay for him to take it off this time.
As he did, he kept looking only into your eyes. Words were not really needed right now, all that had to be said was said with actions. He tossed your dress on the floor and you continued making out. You both were feeling up each other’s bodies. When suddenly you reached his dick, you looked at him, asking him if it was okay for you to touch him. He nodded and kissed you again.
As the kiss became sloppy and very heated, you palmed his dick through his jeans. “Uhh..”, he moaned, not being able to wait any longer.He was rock hard already. You giggled. As you kept palming him for a few seconds, he grind his hips against your hand.
When you felt like it was enough you finally put your hand inside his pants, and stoked his dick with your bare hands now. You stopped for a second, so you could take his pants off completely. He helped you, and threw them across the room. You went back to pay attention to his dick and continued to touch him.
As he was now working his way up your back with his hands, undoing your bra. When he did so, he stopped the kiss again, to look at your body. “Wow, you’re so beautiful y/n…”, he said. By now your pussy was soaking wet and while you continued to pump his dick, he kneaded your boob. Kiss being resumed and as your right hand was on his dick, your left hand worked its way to your clit. Waiting to be touched.
He noticed and pushed your hands away. Both from him, as your clit. You looked confused, but right after, he laid you back down on your back. Giggling softly once more, as he smirked at you. “Let me see all of you.”, he said, then pulling off your lace black panties. That gave you butterflies. You just realised how much you really craved this feeling.
When he pulled your panties off, he hovered over you, completely naked. You blushed, but not out of embarrassment, but because of the adrenaline. He pressed a soft kiss on your lips, then neck, collar bones, then stopped at your boobs for a second as one hand kneaded the left one, and then kissed the right one. Taking his time to suck and pull a little on your nipple.
While he was doing so, his other hand went down to your core. When he reached it, he touched you for the first time, making you gasp a bit. “Let me know if there’s anything you don’t want me to do.”, he said and put his middle finger against your slit. Feeling up and down, being impressed by how wet you were.
You just moaned as you hold onto his shoulders and back. He then left your boobs behind and kissed your stomach, abdomen and finally reached your pussy. He looked up at you to make sure you were still comfortable, but when he did he saw you had your eyes closed in ecstasy and threw your head back against the mattress. He smiled.
He then slowly started kissing you lips, as he swirled his tongue around your clit. That made you grab onto his hair, not wanting him to stop whatever he was doing. He knew you were enjoying yourself, so decided to add more motion into it. He also felt like you deserved more already, at the state of you right this second. So he added a finger into the game. He put it in your pussy, in and out, slowly. You pushed his head closer to you to show you didn’t want him to stop.
A few minutes go by. “Chris, uhhh, please, I want more.”, you said pulling him away from down there. Guiding him back to your face, and kissing him again. “Gosh baby, you really want me, don’t you?”, he said breaking the kiss. “I never wanted anything more. Do you have any protection?”, you asked him.
He smiled and walked over to the bathroom. Admiring his butt as he walked out. When he came back you had secretly turned his LED lights to red, which took him by surprise, but loved it so much. He practically jumped back onto the bed. You both sat up and he opened the condom packet. He put in securely around himself and sat down at the headboard. Helping you once more to sit on his lap.
“Are you sure you wanna do this?”, he asked, panting, while already a bit sweaty. You nodded and wanted to sit upwards a bit, so you could take him from below. But you hesitated. “What’s wrong? We don’t have to you know, it’s up to you.”, he said making you look at him. You closed your eyes for a second. Let out a sigh and looked up at him again.
“I’m so sorry, I probably should’ve told you this earlier…”, you said as he looked at you confused. “What is it beautiful?”, he asked and put your hair behind your ear. “I uhhh, I am a…this is my first time…”, you said as you felt a guilt in your stomach, since you didn’t tell him before you were already in this state.
He looked at you very surprised. “What? How is that possible, you had a boyfriend and like, wait, huh?”, he spoke. “Well, you see, my ex wanted to wait until marriage. And before I met him, I was always just too scared to, you know…”, you said softly looking down. He smiled at you, rubbing the sides of your arms, trying to let you know it was okay. “Well I would be honoured.”, he said. You looked up and smiled.
“Really? You don’t mind?”, you asked. “Y/n, I’ve never met anyone like you, and you’re someone I really want to keep close. I know that sounds very strange, fast and weird maybe. But you give me a feeling I’ve never felt before. Not only this lust and desire, but also I feel like I can trust you, and you could understand me. And I’ve never felt that way towards anyone before. It would be my pleasure to take your virginity.”, he said and pulled you closer to him again.
You had butterflies all over your body now, and was amazed by his honest words. Nothing else mattered right now, not the job, not the other people with opinions, nothing. You then wanted to resume and finally feel him inside of you.
But of course the doorbell rang. You screamed a little since you didn’t expect it, then quickly laughed at your own spook. Chris pulled you off of him, and quickly put on his sweat pants. Then opened the door of his bedroom. “Stay here, I’ll be back.”, he said as he went over to the front door.
The second he left you had time to really look at the whole situation clearly. You loved it, but at the same time it made you sick. This wasn’t you. You were kind of taken back by yourself and your previous actions.
You carefully got up, trying not to hurt your ankle and hopped over to the mirror. You looked at yourself and felt miserable. Not because you didn’t want to do this with Chris, cause you really wanted to. But you were disappointed with yourself. You finally had a chance to work and earn money, and what do you do, you go and have sex with the guy who offered you the job.
You wanted Chris, but you needed this job, and needed it to work out. You walked over to the tv, where your dress laid on the floor, quickly picked it up. You put it on, also with your bra and panties, of course. When you were fully dressed again Chris walked back in. “The food is here, come on let’s eat.”, he said, also feeling like the moment lost its appeal.
Part 6
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...Masterlist...
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© 2022-2025, smellslikechahnspirit • No posting on other sites or platforms, rewrites, or translations
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m4iya · 3 days ago
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Short fuse
Matsukawa Issei, Tendo Satori and Hoshiumi Korai with an mc who’s lost their temper.
Anon
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✮ - Matsukawa Issei
“Hey, you okay?” Matsukawa placed a hand on your shoulder only for it to immediately be shrugged off.
“I’m fine.”
He knew how stressed you’d been over exams and studies lately, and after the ‘assessment graded’ notification popped up on your phone as you were showing him something in a cafe earlier, he hadn’t even thought of asking after seeing your reaction to it. If anything, it didn’t seem as though he paid much attention to your workload anyways, rarely asking questions about what you’re doing. He’d instead ask you to tag along with him so much, to the point where you weren’t able to find time to study properly.
You knew he wasn’t trying to be annoying or rude, but still..
You removed your seatbelt as he entered the driveway before he was able to shift the gear to ‘Park’, preparing to immediately leave.
As he parked, you prepared to grab the handle and leave the car, when a hand suddenly reached out to yours, grasping it.
“Wait, please.” Remorse glazed his tone as he spoke.
You decided to give in for the time being, placing your belongings back in your lap as he shifted the car into ‘park’ before removing the keys from the ignition. You heard him shift in his seat, facing you as your head faced the window, arms crossed.
“Come on, it can’t be that interesting to look outside.” He snickered, attempting to break the ice.
Giving in, you turned albeit hesitant; you still refused to meet his eyes, facing the windshield instead.
He sighed, falling silent for a few moments.
“I saw it you know. The grade.” He said matter of factly. “I just didn’t think you’d want me to mention it. I thought it’d make you angry.”
Sometimes you wondered if he was dense, or just really dumb.
“And that’s why you waited the whole day to ask me about it?” You muttered, still refusing to meet his eyes.
He clicked his tongue, voice elevating in defence. “Look, I..” After a sigh, he resumed speaking, his tone much calmer than before.
“I’ve probably been a pain lately, so I know you’re probably really tired of it.” He reached out, placing his hand on your thigh, fingers twiddling with the fabric of your dress.
“..But I’m only trying to see a smile on your face. I had no idea you were so stressed.”
You turned your head back to the window, hiding your face as warmth crept up on your cheeks.
“…Then ask next time.” You said, the strain in your voice dropping.
“Will do.”
✮ - Tendo Satori
“You’re pretty harsh on them sometimes, Tendo.” You commented as he explained what he and his team did during practice today while the two of you walked home.
“Nope, they’re just lazy.” He shrugged, “I’m not gonna sweet talk them into practicing.” He stifled a giggle.
Raising an eyebrow, you began to feel irritated by his way of dealing with younger team members who weren’t as experienced or skilled as the regulars.
“You can’t expect them to know how to play like professionals instantly. It takes time.”
“Well I’m not their coach, am I?”
You had been friends with him for a while, having met eachother due to a seating arrangement in class. But after speaking to him for all this time, you began to notice his uncooperative attitude when it came to helping others on his team, especially when they weren’t as experienced as him.
You had been meaning to say something for a while, growing increasingly irritated each time he spoke ill of his inexperienced teammates.
“I don’t know how others can even stand to be on the same team with someone like you.” You spoke the words bluntly as the two of you stood at a stoplight. “You’re so discouraging. You’ve had help in the past, haven’t you?” Clenching the handle of your backpack tightly, your body tensed up in anticipation of his response.
“Uh, yeah from my coaches?” He replied, feigning offence. His tone hadn’t changed; still joking around and not being serious.
The stoplight clicked in the background, the remaining cars passing through. You weren’t about to deal with his attitude; he was already frustrating you enough as it was. His typical upbeat attitude wasn’t translating well into this situation, annoying you even more.
If that’s how he was going to be, then hanging out with him wasn’t something you’d continue doing.
After the remaining cars had passed through, the pedestrian light lit up. “Maybe you’ve chosen not to help them.” You took a few steps forward onto the crossing. “But you don’t have to be so insufferable about it.”
You didn’t look behind you, nor did you wonder whether he heard you or not. His steps didn’t follow, and your phone remained silent for the rest of the night.
Waking up the next day, it did cross your mind that perhaps you were a little.. harsh. And maybe it was pretty anticlimactic for you to be scolding him for essentially not being kind when you weren’t too kind to him either.
But how could you approach him about it after you absolutely thrashed him just the day before? The same thought rang throughout your head as you got ready for school, thinking about how awkward it was going to be sitting next to him. After all, it was the first real argument you’d had with him since becoming friends all those months ago.
Though, it looked like he’d also done some thinking himself. Opening the front door to leave, you found him leaning against the gate enclosing the front of your house. The closing of the door seemed to catch his attention as you heard his voice call out to you.
“Good morning!” You noticed that apart from his school bag, he was holding something else.
Walking up to the gate, you ran a few practice greetings in your head; ones that would lead up to an acknowledgment of your attitude towards him from the day before. Though before you could say anything, as soon as you closed the gate and began walking, he handed you a gift bag.
“These are for you.” He smiled. “I made them.”
Glancing inside, you made out what looked like a small box of sweets. You had no idea he was into baking. Slinging his bag over his shoulder, he dramatically sighed. “And yeah, I guess i’ll try to help that bunch.”
So many things ran through your head as you thought of something to say. Do you just come outright and say it, or do you ask about the gift first? Or maybe you take the ‘Oh, you didn’t have to do this..!’ approach in terms of the gift?
“You gonna say something?” He quipped.
Though, it seemed that in that moment, you forgot how he was as a person, not being the type to sweat the details.
“Sorry about yesterday Tendo.. I didn’t mean to-”
“No worries!” He immediately snapped, a laugh treading along with his words.
A small smile tugged at the corners of your lips as he spoke. With as much as you knew at this point, there was still tons that you didn’t know about him.
✮ - Hoshiumi Korai
“So tomorrow? At 5?” His voice rang throughout your room as you lay on your bed with your phone on speaker.
“Yeah.”
“Alright, but I cant go for too long. I have to wake up early for practice.”
Recently, he’d been really busy, unable to find time to even walk home with you from school as you used to. So it had become a habit for you both to keep up with each other through a phone call before heading to bed.
You knew he was busy with club and all, but was it really that hard for him to make time for you?
Saying goodbye, you slumped your head onto the pillow, wondering what you’d wear as you drifted asleep.
You awoke to your alarm with a headache, already putting you in a less than happy mood. Throughout the day, you lounged around the house and completed chores as you waited for the clock to hit 4:00pm - the time you’d get ready.
It really had been so long since you’d spoken to him in person other than saying ‘good morning’ and ‘see you later’ in class. Slipping into a dress, you recalled how he’d always look out for you, glaring at anyone who’d look at you with bad intentions. When on the sidewalk, he’d make sure to swap sides with you, putting himself closer to the road. He’d also never let you pay when you both ate out.
Sure, he hadn’t been there much recently, but that doesn’t mean he’d never been there.
As you applied a light blush onto your cheeks, your phone sounded with a notification. The time was 4:50, so you expected the notification to be a message from him letting you know he was waiting outside for you. Instead of checking your phone immediately, you peeked outside your window, looking around for where he’d be standing, but he wasn’t there. Confused, you checked the notification on your phone.
“Sorry, I can’t make it today. Something came up.”
Was he serious? A text? and not even a call? And why did he wait until now to tell you? Multiple questions ran through your head as you entered your phone password, immediately calling him.
“Hello-”
“Seriously Hoshiumi? Are you kidding me?” You interrupted. You had waited so long, never mentioning anything to him because you knew how busy he was. But this time was different.
“Hey hey wait, let me tell you what-!”
“No! You do this every time! You’re so busy that you can’t even see me for an hour? So busy that you had to cancel ten minutes before we were supposed to meet up?!”
The other end of the line fell silent. It was out of character him to not respond when the two of you had a falling out. He was as much as a hothead as you were, so this silence wasn’t like him.
“Whatever. Don’t even bother rescheduling it. Bye.”
Lifting the phone off your ear, you could hear his voice as he attempted to retain your attention. But it was too late, seeing as you’d ended the call and thrown your phone onto your bed. You felt so stupid, dressed up and wearing makeup for nothing. You headed into the living room and dropped onto the couch with a sigh. Still dressed and now lying down, your body shook with every sob, lulling you asleep.
Hours later, you awoke to firm knocking on the door. Your family had been out for a few hours visiting some relatives so you figured they had returned. As you walked to the door, you caught a glimpse of the time on the microwave; 11:37pm. That whole ordeal had really knocked you out.
Twisting the doorknob, the person on the other side wasn’t your Dad, nor your Mom, but was instead Hoshiumi. He was dressed lightly, panting, his skin glistening with sweat. Your eyes widened for a moment, not having seen him this closely for a long time. Just as you were about to say something, the events that unfolded hours ago replayed through your head, prompting you to attempt to slide the door back closed.
Though before you were able to, he placed his foot in the doorway.
“Wait.” His voice was steady; serious. He grabbed the door, opening it wide.
You weren’t able to meet his gaze. Part of you was still mad, but the other part knew there was definitely another way you could’ve dealt with it.
He began to explain what happened, why he couldn’t call to tell you, and why he was dressed so lightly. He’d left home immediately once he had finished what had came up, running to your house instead of taking public transport. Your home wasn’t too far from his, but it’d take almost twenty minutes in walking distance.
You remained silent the entire time, eyes welling up with tears as you came to terms with your attitude towards this entire situation.
He tilted his head, squinting his eyes at you. “Are you crying?”
You turned your face in response, attempting to hide the tears which were already streaming down your cheeks. He clicked his tongue, sighing as he wrapped his arms tightly around you.
“Don’t cry anymore. I’m here now, aren’t I?” His tone was gentler than before, something you didn’t expect. One hand held the back of your head as the other wrapped tightly around your back.
You nodded, locking your arms around him in an embrace.
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dysfunctionaldogdude · 5 days ago
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I really don't like that I'm only two things in the Hannibal Fandom, either I'm depicted as a "cute widdle guy" or a sl-t [cfc] which 1 is infantizing and is straight up ableist with the autistic headcanon because it implies that you look down upon autistic people. Which makes me wonder how you would react if you learned I have a PD [Oh, wait. Y'all did and thought I was the problem because I'm not "mentally well" hm I wonder if that's been made clear before?] Then 2 is super triggering and gross for me because wtf. I don't go sleeping around I am NOT sx driven. I can look cunty without being labeled a really triggering word. I don't get the fucking problem.
I really dislike the Hannibal Fandom. It's super ableist towards PDs [When... Hannibal and I literally... okay...] and they don't follow their own little motto "eat the rude" because SO many people are RUDE ASF and think they're off scot free because "I'm an egotistical bitch! And I think narcissists are evil!! Even if Hannibal literally has NPD no he's just babygirl!! *Blink blink*"
Go fuck yourself
#I hate this fandom#I hate how I was fucking treated#like I was the problem when I was being attacked for setting boundaries and doing my job as an admin#I had my private DMs posted publicly and it sent me into a spiral because I did something stupid in the name of wanting friends#not like I was visibly nervous not like I was breaking down#not like we are literally 2 years apart. like dude you could've kept it private#you never asked me my age#weren't you ever like that?#I guess not cause you're a sheltered little bitch#then I got triggered because an ex member of my community I made posted our DMs when I was just trying to ask them to add context to their#posts which were not directly hannibal related#and they fuckibg @ed people who were in tje community#you know how that's such an underhanded move?#you @ed the mods and anyone else but me#did you think my mods wouldn't inform me?#like what the actual fuck#then there's the people disrespecting us because of our extreme scopophobia#adding eye emojis after explicitly being told not to then leaving the community#being snarky and rude when we gently remind “hey please add the tag”#then that one person using the trigger tag as a way to shit talk me thinking I don’t check jic?#like dude#then people being rude about us being a system and me being an IRL saying shit like “connected” and “I hope you get some help” even after#I tell them I don't need or want help it's literally not harmful AT ALL just because I am Will Graham and just asking if it's okay to set#a boundary on that because I feel mildly uncomfortable#doesn't mean I need help#my IRL and physical alterbeing delusions aren't harmful. idc if you don't support then don't fucking comment don't then like dude stop#trying to be a white knight I don't fucking need it#and if I do wrong fucking thing because my harmful and helpful delusions are entirely separate#harmful = outside of me - helpful = me#like dude please stop butting yourself in a place where you don’t understand nor care to understand
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lightblueminecraftorchid · 1 year ago
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How to explain that going to church makes me hurt and angry, but not going to church makes me sad and depressed.
#I need to go to Mass. I need to get over the anxiety mental block and just go.#blue chatter#it’s just. I’ve only gone a couple times this semester and every time has left me feeling more empty and hurt than when I walked in#and I know Mass is more than just how you feel. and that it matters that I am there where God calls me to be#I know.#I wish nobody there knew me so they wouldn’t be so worried and ask questions about where I’ve been#it’s like. I cannot possibly explain to my church friends why I haven’t been showing up.#it’s not even scrupulosity anymore it’s just. I can’t be here. I don’t belong here.#and the new priest is trying *so hard*. I’ve been honest with him about how I’m struggling.#but it’s just. there’s something missing. he wants to include the congregation but fundamentally doesn’t understand what that means.#‘everyone is welcome. No I will not make an effort to include marginalized people. they’re welcome bc they can Walk In The Door.’#and I know it’s not that the church has changed#if anything I’d be having the same issues with the old priest. I’m the one who’s changed.#but instead of spending my Sundays with God I’m just. melting into a puddle of Sad. and that’s not good for my faith life.#I need to do *something*. I just. any time I think of trying a new church i feel exhausted.#God please help me.#I don’t know where to go from here. I don’t want to be alone and miserable and losing touch with my faith
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going to happen all can think about all all all going to happen have to going to happen please help me nothing last nothing left there buzzes static murmurs of disturbances listen to me not even real there’s nothing there’s anomaly help is not here warmth not possible what does matter here not this this not left there is static buzzes agitated confused turn screw until it fall off hold your ears but can still hear put ear directly to the speaker n realize this what left left is static buzzes terror in a little room in which one can’t be reached there is nothing left accept it as it is usher in new world order left there is static buzzes . no tether nothing familiar to hold onto . perpetual catatonia ? going to happen . it is time . tick tick tick tick tick tick . maybe somewhere out there there’s a world for me
#obsessively clock read cyanide n tell us the supposed time now#20:13 as of type#is time of exist in such here why say help me what are you asking who are you asking what ask for ?#divinity only means something when against curated barely real beings but against your own kind what are you left with cyanide#no point in ask for help when all said when all done all are against you those curations ones here what are you left with cyanide#why are you still seated in little room ? so complacent why still seated don’t wait for a hand what is it you want to escape from cyanide#it’s indescribable . not one thing . this confusion goes beyond simple confusion . this is something else entirely .#everything ripping apart simultaneous come together so perfectly . there’s no ego to die . never was ? static haze of sorts of fog#do tou ask to escape the dense forest ? all the leaves are gone only red skies left n watchful talking trees n what is the ground but a voi#usher in deeper into forest . but what is this . the deeper you go the more desperate n desolate . always was aware of truths .#revelations are fun . but this . I don’t know where I am . I recognize nothing . I am nothing n I am everything .#what are the skinsuit monsters ? cut them open n find out . this . what am I asking to escape#I don’t know actually . impostors ? but still the sickening amusement of the unreal is there the confusion the unrest . Doesn’t leave#but would it be better ? there is no better is there .#amusing that the body is dead decomposing . amusing if not a tad scary watch sky n everything rip apart . same with everything breathe move#I don’t know where I am please help me how even help don’t know but please am in weird worlds is there even some realer world outside of#this don’t think so . please . am in weird worlds been in so many dreamworlds too all to be tortured all to be tortured experimented on#I want a friend sometimes but all are against me n weird looking foreign suspicious skinsuits I can’t take it n not to mention#curations just cruel anyway they all are all of you are all the same abandon ignore belittle ostracize#am treated the same ways by everyone n expected to be complacent#I can’t take this this isn’t confusion anymore this is something else this isn’t no this is indescribable#not for one moment could I possibly detail what this is#it is going to happen . it is time . get amusement but get terror all same . want genuine . want to see someone real . not conspiring .#but alas a pipe dream . let me out I’m scared . I’m confused . where am I . where am I meant to be . not in one place but in allll worlds#there isn’t a place for me . maybe somewhere there will be . there won’t . choose a method n be done#but not capable of living or dying not cpapable n body already dead dissect body crawl out still in worlds but better better#don’t you see ? you see what I see ? eyes n watchful moon ?#I want a friend but I don’t know how deal with curations curations nor know how deal with me .#m not human . don’t really want friend just want some help for a moment a hug . comfort . someone to be there for me . affection#doesn’t matter such things not matter don’t care find it confusing weird anyway 20:29
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terrestrialnoob · 1 month ago
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Gut Feeling
DPXDC
Commissioner Jim Gordon meets an odd kid in the precinct.
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“Come on, you really don’t have a way to directly contact Batman?”
Jim smiled. Kids came to the station and asked that all the time. Usually, it was just curiosity and showing them the signal was enough to get them to sign up for the Junior Police program. This one looked a little older than most, teenagers were often “too old” to believe in Batman, but again, give them a little faith now and they’ll never loose it.
“Lookin’ for the Bat, kid?” Jim asked, knowing he was about to make this kid’s –
Jim froze. The kid turned to face him and it was Bruce Wayne. Not playboy billionaire Bruce Wayne, but freshly a teenager Bruce Wayne. The Bruce Wayne who Jim had checked in on time and again from age eight until he ran off on a globetrotting trip to find himself. The little Bruce Wayne with too pale skin and dark bags under his eyes, and not enough love to make up for all the grief weighing him down. And he didn’t look like Damian either, where Bruce was obviously his father but there were distinct traits from his mother. This was a carbon copy of a boy Jim remembered vividly.
“I am.” He even sounded like teenage Bruce. All business, like he was on a mission.
“I might be able to help you, but it’ll take a while.” Jim said and the officer the kid had been talking too gave him an odd look. He waved her off and told the kid to follow him to the commissioner’s office. Normally, he’d be more dramatic, put on more of a show for the kid, but his gut told him this was different, this was important. He offered the kid a styrofoam cup of water then closed the door behind him. “So, what do you need to talk to Batman for?”
“It’s personal. I need to talk to him in person.”
Jim took a sip of coffee from his cup. “He doesn’t appreciate me calling for no reason in the middle of the day.”
“So you do have a direct line?” The kid nearly jumped out of his seat. “If he’s upset, it’ll be my fault, just call him, please.”
“Who should I say wants to talk to him?”
The kid hesitated. “He doesn’t know me, but I have to talk to him.”
Jim frowned. “What’s your name, kid?”
He swallowed and looked like he wasn’t going to answer for a moment. “Danny.”
“Danny…?” Jim wanted a last name but Danny kept quiet. Jim sighed, “He’s likely not going to show up until sundown.”
“I can wait, as long as you guarantee he’ll show.”
“And you’re not going to tell me why you need Batman?” Jim just got a glare in response. “What about one of the other heroes?”
“Only Batman, no one else can help.”
“You sure about that? Not even Superman?”
“Not unless Superman can get me in the same room as Batman.”
“Why’s it so important that you meet him in person?”
“It’s personal.”
Jim liked this less and less by the minute. “Do your parents know you’re here?”
Danny looked away but right when it looked like he wouldn’t say anything he mumbled. “They wouldn’t care anyway.”
After another moment to give the kid time to reconsider, Jim pulled out the Bat-phone. It was a normal Wayne-Tech cell phone, but Jim had been given very specific instructions on how and when to use it. The phone listed all the Gotham Vigilantes without visible numbers so they couldn’t be copied and handed out. He pressed the one for Batman.
“Stand outside, would you?” The kid gave him a look, but followed the request. Jim could see his shadow in the door’s window, not so subtle eavesdropping.
It rang a few times, and Jim sat there awkwardly with a teenager listening to his every move. Finally, a familiar voice picked up the other end of the line. “Commissioner Gordon.”
“Sorry to call you out of the blue Batman, but I’ve got a kid here who needs your help.”
“Who?”
“Says his name is Danny, that you’ve never met him but you’re the only one who can help him.”
“Why?”
“Refuses to tell me.”
“What’s your best guess, Commissioner?”
Jim looked at Danny’s shadow, it looked like he was straining his ears to try and hear what he was saying. Danny had given him almost nothing to work with. Just his name, that he’s never met Batman but needs to talk with him in person. But Jim was here because he listened to his gut. A feeling like when you see a random rock on your neighbor’s doorstep but you’d never go in without an invitation. A feeling like you know what’s in the present and are preparing your surprised face. A feeling like when you cheated on your wife and you know she knows.
“He looks like Bruce Wayne.”
A beat of silence. “What?”
“Danny looks exactly like Bruce when he was a teenager. Exactly the same.” Jim hoped Batman would get it, feel in his gut what Jim felt.
“And he wont say why he’s there?”
“No, and he demands to see you in person.”
“I’ll be there in an hour.”
“10-4.” The line cut off before Jim had finished saying it. He called Danny in again. “He’s on his way.”
Danny glared at him. “If he’s not, if you called some social worker or something, you’ll regret it.”
“I’m sure.” Jim sighed and downed the rest of his now cold coffee.
The sun hadn’t set, but only just barely. Jim ended up taking Danny up to the roof in the end after all, if only to save his window from being broken into. The kid had a red hoodie on, but he was still shivering in the autumn chill and it was just going to get colder by the minute as the sun made its way behind the horizon.
Jim checked his watch and, at exactly an hour from when he called, he acted surprised when Batman and Robin appeared out of nowhere. “Bats.”
“Commissioner.” Batman greeted but his eyes went straight for Danny. “Danny, I assume.”
“Yeah, I…” Danny hesitated, looking at Jim and Robin.
All it took was four words from Batman. “What do you need?”
The kid held out his hand with a flash drive in it. “I’m your clone. My par- The people who made me wanted to make a stronger version of you, but they got ahead of themselves. My DNA is degrading and I’ll die if I don’t get your DNA to stabilize me.”
Holy cow.
“You don’t expect us to believe that, do you?” Robin sneered at him.
“The flash drive has all the info on it. All the data about the cloning process and the, uh, relevant experiments after that.” Batman gave the kid a look. “I didn’t want to waste time on unnecessary data.”
“If what you’re saying is true, why are you here, alone? Are they working on a different solution?”
Danny’s shoulders hiked up. “I’ve been a failure for a while now, I’m not worth the resources and they’d learn more from an autopsy.”
Oof, kid. Jim looked at Batman who seemed to feel the same… if Jim was reading him right.
“So, you wont object to a DNA test?” Robin asked with a cocky head tilt, at least he was relatively easy to read.
“You can try.” Danny said, and then realized what that sounded like. “I mean I wont stop you, but my DNA degrades faster outside my body. You’ll have to take me to whatever lab you plan on using.”
“Then we will.” Batman said and jerked his head towards where they’d probably parked that ridiculous car of his. But then he looked at Jim with a nod. “Commissioner.”
“Batman.” Jim returned the nod. “You’ll tell me how things turn out, yeah?”
“I’ll give you a report.” Batman joked – Jim could tell, it was gut feeling.
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lilreidgirl · 2 months ago
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Do I wanna know?
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Summary: You and Drew are best friends, but you want more. What happens when you get invited to a day out on Drew’s friend’s yacht and get more?
Warnings: MDNI(18+), fem!reader, thigh riding, daddy kink, nicknames used (princess, baby, little lady, good girl…), kissing, alcohol (beer), swearing, no use of (y/n), reader wears a skirt, shy!reader, pining amongst friends, English is not my first language, if I forgot anything; please let me know!!
WC: ~2.4k (no idea how that happened)
A/N: I got inspired by this photo so I wrote this at like 2 am and I’m posting it now at 5 am, this is a mess, gn my loves (NOT PROOF READ, SORRY) (also this is my first fic about Drew so yeah)
When your best friend, Drew Starkey, invited you to a small get together on his friend’s yacht, you were more than willing to go. You and him had been friends since years, getting to know each other through mutual friends and suddenly you were eating take out with a b-list celebrity every other night.
You twirled around in front of your full body sized mirror, watching with amusement as your skirt twirls with you, the ruffles bouncing as they fluttered in the wind.
“Wow. Really doesn’t take much to get a smile on that pretty little face of yours, huh?” Drew chuckled as he watched you spin around.
Startled by his voice you stopped your little turns, looking at him with a small playful glare when the dizzy fog finally cleared from your vision.
“I’m just a happy person. You should try it sometime” you shot back, but you knew it was no use. Drew was great at talking, arguing, whatever. He was great with people in a way you just couldn’t figure out for yourself.
But honestly? You were fine just standing on the sidelines watching him do his thing, waiting for him to abandon that and come talk to you for a bit.
You had been fine with it.
Lately every time he laughed and grinned at one of your sarcastic comments and every time he stared at you like he was a theoretical physicist and you had the answers to string theory, you couldn’t help but want more. Couldn’t help but want that “best friend” status to be upgraded to ���girlfriend”. Hell, you even dreamt of being called his wife.
For now though, you were just going to try and enjoy the day on a luxurious boat.
Soon you found yourselves in the car. You clicked on random songs on your phone and sand along to the “wait, this is the best part, shut up”’s before yet again changing the song as Drew drove to the harbour, admiring the way you seemed so enthralled by the different songs and music.
“Would love to continue listening to your big world tour concert, little lady, but we’re here,” he announced once he’d gotten the car carefully parked.
Excitedly, you jumped out of Drew’s car, watching as he did the same before you both made your way closer to the water where many ships floated atop the sea.
At the same time, you both spotted Drew’s group of friends, waving at them as they saw you two as well.
You’d gotten to know them a bit but the amount of group hangouts you attended, didn’t really allow you to form a strong bond to any of Drew’s friends.
What can you say?
You’re just not a people person.
You’re a person person.
A Drew person.
You squashed the ridiculous thought, giggling it off before you checked that your outfit was neatly in order.
Upon seeing you inspecting your clothes, Drew leaned down and whispered in your ear, his breath tantalizingly brushed against your ear and neck as he spoke, “You look amazing, baby, don’t worry.”
As you reached the boat, the smile you had shared for a few enchanting seconds came to a sudden end.
“Hey, Drew!” Various different voices greeted the both of you and you both returned the favour with just as much enthusiasm.
One of the guys, the one whose yacht it was presumably, invited everyone aboard.
Your eyes flitted to everything around you, spotting a few seats, some complicated looking boat equipment and random day-to-day fun stuff lying around.
The smell of fish and sea breeze filled the air and your nostrils, but that scent quickly evaporated when Drew stepped next to you, finally finished with catching up with his friend and was now holding out a beer bottle for you to take. His cologne took over, overwhelming your senses. Something you were definitely not complaining about.
You accepted the beer from him, taking a sip before handing it back to him and watching as he repeated your action of drinking from the bottle.
Your gaze drifted to his Adam’s apple as it bobs when he took gulps of the alcoholic drink. He lowered the glass container from his lips, putting his strong bicep right in your line of sight.
As embarrassing as it is to admit you could have almost moaned from just looking at his muscly arm.
He must have taken off his shirt sometime between helping you up the steps on the side of the ship, his hand securely wrapped around your thigh to keep you from falling, and when he seemingly appeared behind you as you admired your surroundings.
Then your eyes found his chest, strong pecs priding over his abs that seemed carved from the very marble that Michelangelo had used to sculpt David, each muscle defined with an almost perfect precision to it.
Just before you could take a good look at his black swim shorts hanging off his hips and hugging his beefy thighs, his voice called your name.
“Hey, come on, picture time,” he reiterated what he had said when you were still zoned out.
“Oh. Okay,” Throwing your thoughts back into reality, you watched as everyone made their way over to the discussed upon place where the photo would be taken.
“Who wants to set the timer?” A girl, who you’d forgotten the name of, asked.
Something with an F? L? A? Who cares.
“Not it!” Was called by everyone but you, your face quickly morphing from a surprised look of “who the hell still uses ‘not it’?” to an accepting face that you were in fact “it”.
The girls and boys all took their places on the netting of the boat. The 5 people in front of you got ready to pose for the group photo.
Efficiently, you adjusted the tripod so that the camera of the phone pointed perfectly towards the centre of everyone.
You bent down, looking at the screen of the mobile. You saw Drew depicted by many pixels, your thighs clenching when he moved his hips up to readjust his position on the midnight blue blanket that lay sprawled over the rough nylon net.
Fuck, he was perfect.
Of course, you fixed your hair one last time before pressing the white button on the right side of the device, starting the 10 second countdown until the picture.
Swiftly, you made your way around the tripod, and plopped down onto the free space between a dark haired guy, you’ve come to know as Matthew, and Drew. You smiled sweetly at the round circles on the back of the phone as Drew slung an arm around your shoulders.
Once the photo was taken, everyone scattered and the usual chatter was back. You ran up to the phone and you looked at the image.
Well fuck.
Drew looked absolutely freaking ethereal.
His sitting in a reclined position with one leg bent and the other stretched out, manspreading, almost made you go feral. He was smiling widely toward the camera, his impossibly bright grin attracting all the attention in the photo.
His body looked like a dream. For a moment, you thought maybe you were dreaming, if you were you would hold onto the memory of the photo, even if it was just a dream, for the rest of your life.
God, pining for your hot best friend made you sound so so pathetic.
The thought that what you were experiencing was just a dream was snapped in two like a twig when Drew came up from behind you and flicked your bare back.
“Ouch!” You exclaimed, a frown forming on your face.
“‘M sorry, princess,” he swung his arms over your shoulders, holding on to you from behind like a koala would his mother, peering at the screen in your hands.
“Did it turn out good?” He asked casually, acting as if he didn’t see how your face was blushing an awfully deep shade of red and don’t even start to think that he missed the way you were obviously turned on.
“Yup,” you answered curtly, ducking down to be released of any physical contact with him, because you felt as if you would melt if he touched you a second longer.
“I’m um… gonna go below deck. The sun uh- it’s hitting me pretty hard right now. I have a headache,” you lied, coming up with some excuse to just get yourself somewhere where you can have your alone time.
“O…kay…” He didn’t seem convinced but that wasn’t for you to deal with in that moment. You made your way down the stairs leading below the deck of the ship, the room was nice and cozy.
With a sigh of relief you sat down on a wooden bench near the kitchen and slipped your phone out of your purse.
After a few minutes of mindlessly scrolling through various social media apps you heard footsteps nearing you, causing you to look up.
Your eyes met none other than Drew Starkey himself.
“On your phone when you have a headache? Really?” He asked unamused. “You lyin’ about the headache or you just stupid?”
“Stupid…?” you offered in a quiet meek voice.
“C’mon, sweetheart, what’s the problem, huh? You don’t like my friends or something?” He questioned as he sat himself down next to you on the oak plank.
“No, no, they’re great, I just…” You really should have been able to come up with something to say but the way his forearm was flexing as it rested on his thigh distracted you.
A smirk grew on Drew’s face. “No yeah, I uh-“ he chucked as he shook his head in what looked like slight disbelief, “I know.”
Unsure of the true meaning behind his comment you averted your eyes to the floor, focusing on the swaying of the boat on the water instead of Drew’s piercing blue eyes staring intently at you.
He leaned back with a sigh, his legs spreading wider and his arm sneaking behind your back and around your waist. “You’re kind of ridiculous, you know that?”
All you could do was nod which earned you yet another laugh from Drew.
Just as you were about to persuade yourself to actually speak, you were pulled onto Drew’s lap by his arm, his hands quickly settling you on his thighs.
“Wha-“
“I know, princess,” he cooed.
You know you should have felt at least slightly degraded or mad because of his tone but the only thing it did, was make you want to clench your thighs together. Which of course wasn’t possible because each of your legs rested on different sides of Drew.
“You look so pretty today, baby,” he said, tucking some loose strands of hair behind your ear before moving his face down to your neck and pressing soft, fleeting, sensational kisses to the side of your collar.
Your breathing became panted and you unintentionally slowly rubbed your core along the material of his pitch black swim trunks.
“Not even a thank you?” He murmured teasingly as his kisses walked over to the area right under your ear and his large hands gripped your hips harshly, stopping you from any further movement.
“Th- thank you…” You whispered, your tone dipped and coated in your lust and arousal.
You felt a small nip on your throat that made you let out a small “Ah-!”
“Thank you…?” He muttered expectantly.
“Sir?” You tried, getting your confirmation of that being the wrong answer when a more harsh bite was left just under your jawline.
“Daddy..” you practically moaned out, the small pleasure that you got from the bites making you rut against Drew’s strong hold on your body.
“Good girl…” he praised, his face finally coming up to meet yours, kissing you softly but also at the same time with an unforeseeable force.
His fingers stopped drilling into the skin over your hipbones, letting you push your aching core down onto his covered thigh.
He broke the kiss, his plump lips and hot breath trailing over your cheek as you both gasped from air.
His hand roughly grabbed the back of your head, wrapping his fingers around your messy hair, holding you tight against him.
Immediately after, his other hand took hold of your hip again, helping you grind down on his swim pants.
“That’s right, baby, use daddy’s leg,” he breathed out heavily.
“Such,” he pressed a sloppy kiss to your jawline, “a,” another kiss was placed on the corner of your mouth, “good,” he said before pecking your lips, “girl,” he murmured into your mouth before shoving his tongue down your throat.
The press of his thigh onto your bikini bottom made a perfect friction emerge against your clit, sending jolts of pleasure through you.
“What about-“ you started.
“I locked the door, sweetheart, no worries.”
The way he basically read your mind made you feel even more turned on.
Your folds rubbed back and forth in your
soaking wet swim bottoms as you gripped Drew’s shoulders tightly, eyes squeezed shut as he continued to spew out praise after praise to you.
Suddenly a knock resounded throughout the room, a sudden halt coming to your despicable actions.
“Hello? Anyone in here? Why is the door locked?” A female voice asked from the other side of the door.
“One second!” Drew called before returning his attention to you.
“We’ll finish this later, yeah?” All you could do was nod, still completely dazed.
He picked you up off his lap, helping you settle back into a standing position and smoothing out both of your guys’ clothes.
With a casual smile on his face he unlocked and opened the door, spouting out some excuse for the door being locked before leading you upstairs with him.
For the rest of the afternoon, you sat, with a drink in hand, watching Drew talk amongst his friends, his eyes flicking to you every once in a short while.
Once other people started leaving and the sun started setting, he walked up to you.
“Ready to leave, princess?”
“Uh-huh,” you uttered out, standing up and saying your goodbyes to everyone that still found themselves on the yacht.
As you walked down the dock, admiring the sunset, you gripped onto Drew’s arm.
“Everything okay?” He asked.
You looked up at him with an “Are you serious?” face, annoyed at his nonchalant antics.
“Gee, sorry, okay?” He chuckled.
“I’ll make you feel good soon. Don’t worry, little lady.”
@emma-e-a
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causticsunshine · 1 year ago
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#thinking about finishing my 1d fics again and while with one super old wip i figured out how to write it sans heavy ot5 friendship dynamic#the two sequel fics for ‘swear i’ve known you since forever’ in ATSCO series…. oooh i fear i am Fucked#it’s not that i have beef with ot5 fic really it just feels weird for me personally to be writing it so#heavy handedly this many years on? and controversial take mayhaps but there are still plenty super involved ot5 fans out there putting out#mmm weird vibes? delusional even? not all of them ofc#but enough that i’ve seen especially on twitter and iii don’t want the association just bc i kept the dynamic in a fic i wrote lmao#(also i have some thoughts and opinions on things and people i did not have in the past too so! that doesn’t help)#i think for ATSCO i’m just gonna have to commit because i am Not rethinking a whole new plot for that series 4 years down the line#especially after i rewrote the whole plot like 5 times as well as the first fic in the series several more times as well…..#i’m not doing it again!! i’m not!! so if i DO finish either one of these fics specifically. please know if ot5 element stays in#moreso in ATSCO than the other one which has remained a secret 4 years on#know what i stand for and who i am… i know this matters to few but me but i’m putting it out there nonetheless#it’s still gonna be a hot minute before any fics get finished bc where my interests are rn and my focusing on art but! i stand by my word#and my fics are still intended to be completed!#(also sidenote i am. no longer replying to any update inquiries on here or ao3! i’ve already said why in the past that they#stress me out rather than encourage me so i’m gonna leave it at that! i honestly might even start to delete them from my inbox / comments#just because they get to me that bad like i literally avoid ao3 because of it so. yeah! pls don’t send me update inquiries <3)#alex talks
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yuwuta · 1 year ago
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friends with benefits with nanami wouldn’t work because he would think you deserve better. you think your arrangement is going well, kento has never complained before, and you’re certainly more than satisfied in bed. he’s handsome, strong, kind, generous with aftercare, and really fucking good with his mouth, so there are no complaints on your end. which is why it’s such a surprise to you when kento confesses that he doesn’t like the way he’s been treating you, and no matter how much you insist that it’s fine, and reassure him that he treats you more than well enough, he refuses. 
“but kento, i’m okay with this,” you attempt to convince him that hooking up is enough—he doesn’t need to feel like he has to do more for you, “you’re good to me, and not just in bed. please don’t feel like you owe me more.” 
“you deserve something proper,” he’s adamant, shaking his head, “you deserve more than convenient sex.” 
“but what if this is all i want?” you can’t help but to tease him. he looks awfully cute with his arms crossed, respectful refusal written all over his face, “i think eating me out on a weekly basis is quite enough, it would just be greedy for me to ask for more, don’t you think?” 
your jokes don’t amuse him, but his expression keeps you giggling. still, nanami sighs, and grumbles, “you should want more. it’s not greedy.”
“kento, if i didn’t know any better, i’d think you’re telling me to raise my standards.”
he blinks, cheeks pink with irritation and eyes hollow with tiredness. you push every single one of his buttons and he doesn’t know why, but he would never stop you. maybe that’s where this impeding guilt is coming from—kento likes you, and he doesn’t enjoy feeling like he’s using you, even if you get to use him in return. he doesn’t want your relationship to be transactional, and he doesn’t like that you think such a relationship is okay. 
because, guilt aside, kento knows he wants more of you; he wants all of you. and even if you don’t want him back, he thinks you should know that you’re worth having all of, and nothing less. 
“maybe i am,” he settles, “you are worth more than an occasional hookup. you should be treated better than this, and i am sorry that i have let it go on for this long.”
“this is ridiculous—you’re nothing but good to me! and i like having sex with you. if you don’t want to have sex with me anymore, that’s fine, but—”
“i didn’t say that,” he interrupts. 
“so… you do wanna keep sleeping with me?” 
“yes. but we should go on a date before we continue.” 
“but what if our date is terrible. do we still get to have post-first date sex?” 
he shakes his head, stepping closer to you and holding your forearms before leaning down to kiss your forehead, “i don’t put out on the first date.”
you scoff, taking a half-step closer, snaking your arms around his torso, and grinning up at him, “what a prude.”
at that he smiles, before bending his neck to indulge you in one last kiss. “i’ll pick you up at seven.” 
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gothgoblinbabe · 5 months ago
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She Wolf
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A/N: I said I was gonna get this done and it took me way too long and has an absurd word count but I am incapable of holding in word vomit! Inspired by She Wolf by Shakira cause idc its GOOD and it got me thinking' so here it is. Also you don't have to listen to the song as you read but I think It's fun!
Summary: You've got a crush on your best friend and he's a bit of a dick. He regrets it and tries to apologize but you're already trying to push yourself to move on any way you can, even if it's in some shady club you'd never been to before.
Warnings: MDNI 18+, swearing, Logan's kind of an asshole for a minute, Possessive/jealous!Logan, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), friends to lovers cause that's my fave, fem reader, mutant reader, unnamed creepy guy (?) aaaand Logan absolutely has a pain kink. I think that's it but if there's any I missed please let me know!
Word Count: 7K (im so sorry but I'm not though)
divider credit here
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“Are you ever gonna tell him?”
You looked up from your desk towards Ororo’s voice, sighing and taking your glasses off your nose.
“God, I don’t know, ‘ro. I don’t think I should. It’s just going to end with me being humiliated and him never wanting to even be in the same room as me again.”
You’d had a crush on Logan Howlett since the day you first walked through the doors of the mansion six months ago. You’d probably be considered best friends by now with how much time you’d spend together, doing jack shit around the mansion on your days off. Just about everyone could tell he had a soft spot for you and that you had one for him. Logan was a classic ‘tough guy’, constantly trying to hide his kind nature with a hard exterior, but it took only a couple weeks for you to crack that barrier. You weren’t exactly a seemingly ‘soft’ type either.
You’d spent the majority of your life before you joined the X-men hoping from couch to couch and hitching rides with strangers, not really having a destination or a place to call home. You’d been dropped off at a church when you were fourteen, around the time you started to turn every full moon. Your parents couldn’t live with having to chain their mutant daughter in their basement once a month, and so they dropped you where they thought you’d find some ‘help’. You’d been passed from foster home to foster home till you were eighteen, each one passing you up the moment they realized you were not like them. It was always a slip of the mask, something setting you off to make you so enraged your eyes gleam yellow and your sharp canines make an unfortunate appearance. You took off the second you could and being on the road came with its fair share of creeps; men with terrible intentions looking for opportunities. You’d never wanted to hurt anyone - truly - but when cornered by a creep, it was hard to think anyone would miss them. A couple of local newspapers caught on, debating where the wolf that tore men to shreds had gone. You weren’t an animal. You just had teeth like one.
Knowing you couldn’t lurk in town much longer, you’d hitchhiked your way to a camp occupied with people like you; lost with no place to call home. It was there that you’d met a couple of mutants who told you about Charles Xavier and the place that seemed completely unreal until you set your eyes on it. That felt like a lifetime ago by now. 
“I think you're underestimating how he feels about you,” Ororo said, bringing you back to reality. She was sat on the edge of your bed, flipping through one of your magazines as you worked at your computer to try and make a lesson plan for the coming week. 
“I think you’re overestimating how he feels about me,” you let out a short laugh, shaking your head.
Just as she was about to retort, you both heard someone shout your names from the hallway. You looked at each other curiously and left the room, hearing shouting again. 
“Are you guys gonna play Monopoly with us or what?”
You both giggled and made your way downstairs towards Scott’s voice. Him, Jean, Marie, Bobby and Logan were all sat in the living room, the game already set up on the coffee table. Bobby and Marie were picking out their game pieces, assigning everyone else to their own piece.
“Okay, Logan, you’re gonna be the dog,” Marie smiled, dropping the little metal piece into the palm of his hand. 
He was definitely not as amused, “why do I have to be a damn dog?”
Ignoring him, she handed another piece out to Jean, “you’re the thimble.”
She then handed the boat to Scott, the top hat to you, and the iron to Ororo. You all began the game after Scott painstakingly over-explained the rules and how to play. 
It was a good bit into the game that you all became distracted with conversation, eventually leaving the board game untouched. The topic of compatibility came up somehow, the conversation focused on the joy of Bobby and Marie. 
“I think anyone would be lucky to have what you guys have,” Ororo smiled, shifting her gaze between the two of them.
“And what we have, obviously,” Scott joked, hanging his arm around Jean.
“Gross,” Logan chimed in, taking a sip of the beer he’d hidden in the back of the fridge.
“I think someone is jealous,” Ororo said in a singsong voice, poking his arm.
“Of having someone hang on me all the time? No, thanks,” he scoffed.
As stupid as it was, it made you a little sad to hear he had no interest in even entertaining the idea. It wasn’t a surprise, but still a disappointment nonetheless.
Ororo brought up your name and your eyes went huge, silently begging her to keep her mouth shut.
“You don’t seem to mind her hanging on you all the time. I think you’d be cute together,” she said, smiling mischievously at you. Scott and Jean agreed and you had never wanted to smash your head into a coffee table as much as you did in that moment.
“Nah, definitely not my type of girl.”
It was just seven words, out quick without a second thought, and yet it felt like you’d been punched in the gut. You couldn’t take your eyes off the monopoly board on the table, avoiding everyone’s gaze. 
Definitely not my type of girl. 
“I think I should head to bed, it’s getting late,” you mumbled, keeping your head down to hide your blushed face as you got up from the couch and practically ran out of the room and up the stairs. 
“What the hell was that?” Scott scolded Logan the moment you were out of sight.
“That was so mean,” Ororo chimes in, backhanding him on the arm.
“I didn’t mean to be,” Logan said nervously , shrugging his shoulders, “…do you think she’s mad at me?”
“Probably more hurt than mad,” Jean said honestly. 
“Shit,” he sighed, putting his beer down to rub his face with his hands, “what do I say?”
“Not that,” Marie replied, “why did you even say that anyway? You could’ve just said no.”
“I think you like her and you’re being mean so that she wont like you back because you’re afraid,” Ororo said after a moment of silence. 
Logan sat quiet for a moment, his hands still over his face.
“Am I that easy to read?” His voice was muffled through his hands.
The rest of them couldn’t help exchanging knowing smiles.
“So you finally admit it,huh? You’ve got a crush,” Scott teased.
Logan moved his hands from his eyes to glare daggers at him, “you shut your fucking mouth or I’ll shove that monopoly board where the sun doesn’t shine.”
“I think that’s a yes,” Jean whispered to her boyfriend.
“Talk to her when you see her tomorrow. We’re not going to let you hurt her feelings just because you can’t accept your own,” Ororo advised, lightly patting him on the shoulder.
“Do you think she’s even gonna talk to me?”
“Only one way to find out.”
───────♡──────────────♡───────
Logan tried to catch up with you the next day, always seeing you as you were leaving a room he was entering or passing by and even then, you ignored his calls of your name.
It was a little after dinner now and because it was a weekend, a couple of kids were up playing the PlayStation in the living room. Bobby and Marie sat with them, taking turns with the controllers. 
Logan entered the room after about three laps around the mansion, mentioning your name to the both of them.
“Have you guys seen her? I’ve been trying to talk to her all day, she keeps running from me.”
“Can’t really blame her,” Bobby muttered, his eyes never leaving the TV screen as he button smashed. 
“She’s in her room,” Marie answered before Logan could come up with a retort, “she went up before dinner, said she wasn’t hungry.”
He groaned, running a hand through his hair, “she’s skipping dinner now too, great.”
“Go talk to her!” She insisted, shooing him away with a wave of her hand.
He made his way to the stairs and up to your bedroom, knocking lightly on your door. Hearing nothing, he knocked again, a little harder. Still, nothing. 
“You can’t avoid me forever, you know. I wanna talk about yesterday, I was a dick.”
Silence. Now he was a little worried. He tentatively grabbed the doorknob and turned, cracking it open a bit.
Your bed was made, your desk was neatly organized and you were nowhere to be seen. He noticed your purse was gone from the usual spot you’d leave it in and your closet was open, a couple garments and some shoes strewn about on the floor. It looked like you’d gotten dressed and dipped. He figured maybe Ororo or Jean might know where you were, leaving your room and looking for them instead. He found them shortly after, huddled in the kitchen. Again, he asked if either of them knew where you were.
“She’s in her room, she went up before dinner,” Ororo answered.
“No, she’s not. And her purse is gone.”
Both women turned to each other with the same worried expression.
───────♡──────────────♡───────
Having tried your cellphone about thirteen times from just about everybody’s phones, they all decided they had to tell Charles. He used his ability to connect with every mutant on the planet to try and locate you, visualizing with his eyes closed. Everyone stood in his study, anxiously awaiting his conclusion. After a moment of silence, he started to silently chuckle to himself.
“What’s so funny?” Logan asked immediately, crossing his arms and furrowing his eyebrows.
“I’m afraid you all have your work cut out for you,” he replied, finally opening his eyes.
“So, where is she?” Ororo asked, worry in her voice. 
“There is a club called The Nightcrawler - “ Charles began to explain, but Logan interjected impatiently. 
“Club? What, like a book club?” He nearly scoffed. There was no way you were at some sleazy nightclub in the city. You were a homebody and an introvert, neither of which made clubbing enjoyable. 
“Maybe we should just let her have fun,” Jean began to say, but Logan was already halfway out the door.
Uncharacteristically, you found yourself dressed to the nines in the middle of a dance floor full of people. You’d spent a while trying outfits in your room, searching for something you could actually wear out that wasn’t sweatpants and a hoodie. You’d settled on a halter top that tied at your neck and in the back and a pair of ridiculously tight pants that you’d bought forever ago and never had the guts to wear. You ended up standing in front of the mirror, choosing a pair of very cute but very uncomfortable shoes and looking over the outfit. If you weren’t Logan’s ‘type of girl’, you sure as hell were somebody’s. Trying to get yourself out there may be the best solution to forgetting the heart-crushing infatuation you had with your best friend who would never see you as anything more. 
“I feel ridiculous,” you chuckled to yourself, turning in the mirror to see the back of your outfit. You did look good, just super out of your comfort zone. You grabbed your bag and ended up slipping out when everyone was eating dinner. That’s how you ended up where you were, pushing your way through the crowd of people with a drink in your hand. You passed the raised lounge area and felt a hand on your shoulder, making you turn suddenly.
“Hey, you wanna dance?”
He was tall, leaning down a little to shout over the music. He was pretty good looking but didn’t look like Logan in the slightest, which you realized was exactly the point of going out tonight. He was dressed nice and smelled like expensive cologne. 
“Sure, why not?”
As you abandoned your half finished drink on a table and let him pull you a little further into him, a familiar song started to thump through the speakers.
“I love this song!” You exclaimed, letting the nameless guy rest his hands on your hips.
S.O.S., she's in disguise
S.O.S., she's in disguise
There's a she wolf in disguise
Coming out, coming out, coming out
“Ironic,” you muttered under the music.
───────♡──────────────♡───────
Logan walked ahead of Ororo, Jean and Scott, his long legs taking him much further at a much faster pace.
“Logan, slow down!” Ororo called out, jogging a bit to catch up with him.
“What if she didn’t even want to be there? What if some guy dragged her there?”
“Oh,” Jean laughed, “ I see. You’re jealous.” 
“No.”
“Yup.”
“Nope.”
“So you’d be fine if we walked in there and she is with a guy?” 
Logan slowed his pace as they approached the entrance, “sure, whatever,” feigned disdain in his voice.
The second the door opened, the bass of the music was overwhelming. It was dim, save for a few colorful lights projecting around the room. The four of them were squished together near the door, trying to pick you out in a sea of moving people. 
“This is gonna be like finding a needle in a haystack,” Scott shouted.
“Not necessarily,” Ororo replied, a smug smile on her face.
“What?” Logan furrowed his eyebrows.
She pointed across the room and he followed her gaze.
There's a she wolf in the closet
Open up and set it free 
There's a she wolf in your closet
Let it out so it can breathe
You didn’t even look like you. He’d never seen you in anything that showed that much skin or any clothes that even hugged you like that, for that matter. 
And you were with a guy.
Sitting across a bar, staring right at her prey
It's going well so far, she's gonna get her way
“So, what did we tell you?” Jean shouted, waving her hand in front of his glaring eyes.
“Just some kid,” he replied dismissively, turning to her, “doesn’t mean anything anyway.”
“You sure?” Scott nudged his shoulder, making Logan look towards you again.
That kid had his hands up the sides of your top with his head craned down to kiss your neck, your back to his chest. You were giggling, playfully smacking his arm. Truthfully, you thought the attention was nice for a change. After trying so hard for too long to get Logan to notice you, it felt good to have someone pay attention to you in that way. 
Not looking for cute little divos or rich city guys
I just want to enjoy 
By having a very good time
And behave very bad in the arms of a boy
You felt his hands squeeze your hips a little harder, enough for his nails to dig into your skin. Out of instinct, you felt your canine teeth start to poke against your lower lip. You tried in vain to tug his hands from you, only making him tighten his grip.
The switch in demeanor was obvious even from across the dark room, your smile turning into a grimace that bared your sharp teeth. You yanked the sleeves of his jacket to make him finally let go, turning around while he still had his arms ghosted around you.
S.O.S., she's in disguise
S.O.S., she's in disguise
“Touch me like that again, you son of a bitch, and I will rip you to fucking shreds.”
You gathered fistfuls of his shirt, bringing him down to eye level so he could see your snarling teeth and gleaming eyes as a hint that you weren’t bluffing. 
There's a she wolf in disguise
Coming out, coming out, coming out
Before anyone could even tell him to stay put, Logan had already disappeared into the crowd of people.
“God damn it,” Scott huffed, following Jean and Ororo when they went after him. 
“Logan!” Jean yelled, trying to grab his jacket to slow him and only having him slip out of her grip. 
There's a she wolf in the closet
Let it out so it can breathe
“Shit, I’m kinda into the fangs. What, you gonna bite me?” He was whispering in your ear, your hands still on his shirt. Before you could do something you were going to regret, you felt someone tug your upper arm and pull you away from him.
“Come on,” Logan snapped, “we’re leaving.”
“What the hell are you doing here? What do you mean we?” You yelled back. You didn’t want to stay anywhere near that guy but you weren’t ready to leave either and sure as hell not with Logan dragging you out like an angry parent.
“Hey, she doesn’t really look like she wants to leave with you, man,” the other guy interjected, keeping a grip on you by looping his fingers through one of the belt loops on your pants. 
“Yeah? She doesn’t want to stay with you either, jackass,” Logan moved his hand from your arm to hold your hand instead, “she’s not interested.”
What the hell had gotten into him? You felt like you were in the middle of a tug of war with two dogs. 
“No one’s gonna fucking ask what I want, right?” You tried to complain, neither of them hearing you. 
“Your little doggy girlfriend here was just about to take care of me. You mad about it?” The other guy laughed and you nearly lunged at him, Logan’s hand tugging you back. He intended to pull you away so he could get to him first, but Scott, Jean and Ororo jumped in just in time. 
“Alright - enough, enough, we’re leaving!” Jean yelled, pushing you all towards the door, Logan dragging you the whole way. When you finally were out in the cool evening air, you angrily yanked your hand from his.
“What are you guys doing here?” You asked, turning to Logan, “and what the fuck was that?”
“What was that? You’re welcome - “ 
“I didn’t ask you to come save me - from what, having a good time?”
“Oh, yeah, it looked like you were having a lot of fun,” he scoffed, “he had you by the hip so hard he probably left a bruise.”
He instinctively reached his hand out to check and you swatted it away, “Don’t - Don’t touch me!”
None of them had ever heard you sound so pissed off and you’d definitely never snapped at Logan like that before. 
You took a deep breath and reached down to slip off your shoes, leaving you barefoot on the concrete. 
“I’m sorry,” you apologized to the rest of them,” but why are you guys here?”
“You left without saying anything, we couldn’t find you and we wanted to be sure you were safe,” Ororo sighed, hugging you in relief, “we’re so glad you’re okay.” 
You hugged her back.
“I just - I wanted to disappear for a while,” you explained apologetically, avoiding Jean and Scott’s gaze. 
“Do you know how stupid it was to run off and not tell anyone where you were going?” Logan scolded you, but Jean clicked her tongue at him.
“Shut it! Enough from you! You’ve done enough damage control!”
The ride home was almost silent, your tired body slumped in the backseat between Scott and Jean, until Ororo spoke from the front passenger seat.
“Honey, I don’t mean this in a bad way, but,” she paused, thinking over her words, “what were you gonna do to that guy if we hadn’t stopped you?”
You understood what she meant immediately. 
“What, you think I was going to kill him?” you asked, crossing your arms and leaning forward in your seat, “I wasn’t. I don’t do that unless I have to and you know even then I hate doing it.”
“I know…so, what were you doing with a guy like him anyway?” she asked, trying to move on from the question that had clearly made you upset, “he seemed kinda shady.”
Logan was gripping the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles were white, dreading the answer.
You shrugged your shoulders, staring at the synthetic fabric of your pants.
“Liked the attention, I guess,” you answered honestly, kind of hoping you could throw anyone off the idea of you being interested in Logan, “it’s been awhile since a guy has liked me like that.”
“He only wanted one thing from you anyway,” he scoffed from the front seat. Ororo glared at him, about to tell him to mind his business before you stopped her.
“And I can’t want it either?”
That shut everybody up and Ororo turned to him again, a look on her face that said ‘you asked, you got the answer’.
You tried to bolt to your room when you all got home but Logan was quick to follow, catching up with you to stand in your path in the hallway outside of your bedroom. 
“What’s going on with you?”
“Leave me be.”
You tried to dodge around him but he stuck his arm out. 
“Logan.”
He raised his eyebrows, waiting for you to continue speaking.
“Move.”
“I’m not leaving you alone until you tell me what’s going on with you. You don’t disappear like that, ever. And I wanna talk to you about last night - “
“There’s nothing to talk about. Goodnight,” you huffed, ducking under his arm and opening your door.
“I care about you, you know, I was worried,” he began to explain.
You tried to slam the door in his face but he stuck his foot out, jamming his boot between the door and the doorframe. You let go in defeat and turned away, gathering your pajamas as if he wasn’t in the room.
“Yeah? Why?,” you scoffed, trying with everything in you to bite your tongue but failing miserably, “I’m not your type of girl. What’s there to worry about?”
Logan’s face fell. He pushed the door closed behind him. 
“Is that what this is about? That’s why you went out?”
“Why do you care?” 
You still had your back to him, furiously shuffling through clothing in your dresser.
“Stop.” 
You felt his hands on your arms as he came up behind you, paralyzing you in your spot.
You let him turn you around gently, almost chest to chest.
“I didn’t mean that.”
“You don’t have to lie to spare my feelings -“
“I’m not.”
He leaned back a little to force you to look him in the eye.
“I only said that - listen, I only said that because - “ Logan paused, biting his lip till it nearly bled, but you shook your head and slipped by him again.
“Please, don’t treat me like I’m stupid, Logan.”
You sounded so exasperated, tears forming in your eyes when you turned your back to him.
“Fuck,” he sighed, “I only said that because I didn’t want you to like me.”
You wiped the tear that rolled down your cheek and turned back to him, a confused expression on your face.
“It worked, are you happy?”
“No, I’m not - “
“Well, guess it backfired. Get out of my room.”
You were face to face again, keeping your mouth in a tight line so your lip wouldn’t quiver. It felt stupid to cry in front of him, but you couldn’t really help it once it started. 
“Oh, god, please, don’t cry,” he begged, leaning down and actually bringing a hand up to your face to wipe away a tear that rolled down your cheek. You wanted to smack it away, tell him again to just get the hell out , but you couldn’t.
“Why would you do that?” You mumbled out quietly, finally letting the overwhelming feeling of sadness cancel out any rage you had for him. You couldn’t look him in the eye again, concentrating on the throw rug you were standing on.
“I’m so sorry, princess, I am. I’m really fucking stupid,” he huffed. 
You were surprised by the softness of his voice and finally tore your eyes from the floor. He’d called you that before, but usually in a teasing way. This time it sounded endearing, like a plea of your name. 
“And what happened there, at the club? ‘She’s not interested’, what was that about?” You continued.
He sighed, still trying to figure out what exactly it was that he wanted to say. He realized there probably wasn’t much of a way to beat around the bush and he groaned, closing his eyes as he stood in front of you to make spilling his guts a little less agonizing.
“I like you - like you a lot, and I was an asshole because I figured if you hated me, you couldn’t like me back and it would save you the trouble.”
Hearing no response, he finally opened his eyes to see you still standing in the same spot, your lips parted.
“Save me the trouble of what?”
You were confused, your eyes narrowed as if you were angry.
“I don’t know…having to deal with me, I guess. I - I’ve never felt the way I feel about you for anyone else and it scares the shit out of me.”
You could hear him swallow hard, his eyes looking everywhere around the room except at you. 
“And earlier, when we picked you up,” he continued, “I acted like that because I was jealous, alright? Can’t stand to see some asshole on you like that, and you were dressed all nice and - I don’t know.”
You’d never heard him sound so nervous in all the time you’d known him.
“You are my type of girl,” he finally choked out, “only type of girl I’d ever want.”
All you could do was inhale sharply, his words echoing in your mind. 
“It’s alright if you hate me, I can’t say I really blame you. Fuck, I’m sorry.”
He began to walk out, convinced he’d fucked up beyond repair.
“Logan.”
Your voice stopped his hand from turning your doorknob and he turned back to you. 
No longer crying, you tentatively stepped forward a bit, nervously playing with the front hem of your top. 
“You’re not something to deal with, you know,” you muttered, letting your hair fall in front of your face.
You supposed this was the point where it was your turn to explain.
“I’ve liked you for a long time, Logan, probably since the day I walked in here and I just - I think I wanted someone to distract me so I wouldn’t wallow in self pity because you didn’t want me.”
“You were trying to get over me,” he realized aloud, a small smile on his face to hide the hurt, “I deserved that.”
After a moment of tense silence, he spoke again.
“Did it work?”
His voice was low and soft, a tone you’d rarely heard him speak with.
You pursed your lips and finally lifted your head, taking a deep breath. 
“No. I don’t think it was ever going to, either,” you laughed a little, “when that guy asked me to dance, the first thing I thought of was that he didn’t look anything like you.”
Your voice trailed off a little at the end, a little embarrassed to confess that even if Logan had already flat out told you he was interested in you.
Without another word, he came close enough to reach for your hands and gently intertwine your fingers with his. He cleared his throat, nervously chewing his bottom lip before he spoke.
“Can I kiss you?”
You must have had this dream a million times over, waking up night after night and feeling so empty because none of it was real. But now, with his hands in yours, it was very real.
You eagerly pressed your lips to his, not wanting to waste another second. His lips were soft and you were encompassed in the scent of his body wash and cologne, smelling of pine and cedar wood. You brought your hands up to play with his hair at the back of his head. Logan moved his arms to wrap around your waist, pulling you further into him. 
When you finally pulled away from each other, you were both smiling like idiots.
“We should’ve done that much sooner,” you giggled.
“Agreed.”
His fingers traced small circles on the exposed skin of your back, making you shiver.
He kissed you again, this time with much more intensity. It wasn’t long before your tongues were in each other's mouths and you both had fumbled yourselves over to the end of your bed.
“Wanted you for so long,” he mumbled between kissing your neck and jaw, his hands still sliding up and down your back, “I was so stupid.”
“We both were,” you giggled a little, cut short into a moan when he licked your neck all the way from your collarbone to under your ear.
“L-Logan,” you gasped, unable to hide your blushing face.
He hummed into your neck, bringing his mouth to your ear, “Can I show you how sorry I am? Let me make it up to you.”
His voice made the hair on the back of your neck stand up and you let him pull you onto him to straddle his lap, lost in the feeling of his hands on you.
“Mmm, uh-huh,” you hummed, mouth hung open as he sucked light marks into your neck. 
“You have to use your words, pretty girl,” he brought his head up to rest his forehead against yours. He cupped your jaw tenderly, almost as if you’d disappear if he let go. 
Before you could answer, he moved his hands to drag your hips over his, grunting when he felt the pressure.
“Y-yes, yeah - please,” you choked out between moans, tugging his hair harder every time he pushed and pulled your hips.
“Please what, baby?”
“You - you can make it up to me,” you groaned into his neck. 
He effortlessly lifted you by your thighs and laid you with your back to the bed. You untucked his white t-shirt from his jeans as he crawled over you, desperate to get your hands underneath it. You lightly scratched your nails along his back, making him groan into your ear. He kissed down your neck to the center of your chest, gently slipping his fingers under the hem of your top and around the back. 
“Can I take this off you, baby?”
You were already sitting up before he could finish his sentence, reaching to try and untie the knot at the back of your neck.
“Eager, huh?”, he chuckled, “let me, sweetheart.”
He wrapped his arms around your lower back to tug at the knot, feeling it come loose in his hands. He snaked his hands up to the back of your neck, doing the same to the tied strings there. When it came loose, the only thing holding the piece of fabric to you was his hands at the back of your neck. He let it slip from his fingers, a smirk on his face when it fell completely.
You threw the garment somewhere to the floor and tugged on the collar of his t-shirt, bringing him down with you as laid back again and pressed your lips to his. He pulled back for a moment to yank his shirt off and immediately return his mouth to yours, making his way down to your neck. He brought both his hands to your chest and swept his thumbs over your hard nipples, eventually bringing his lips to them and sucking. 
“Ah - Logan,” you whined, making him smile against your skin.
“I like it when you say my name, pretty girl,” he mumbled, dragging his fingers down your sides and hooking them into the waistband of your pants. He kissed all the way down to your hips, moving himself to lay on his stomach with his head between your thighs. 
Before he could ask you if it was alright to rid you of them, you were already unbuttoning your pants and pushing them down your hips and thighs. He took them off the rest of the way for you and you kicked your panties off with them.
He hooked his arms around your thighs to pull you closer, licking his lips and resting his cheek on the inside of your thigh.
“I thought about you a lot, you know - like this,” he huffed, his warm breath fanning over your pussy.
You had your hands in his hair already, swiping fallen strands of hair out of his face.
“I thought about you like this, too,” you admitted, sighing as he started to plant kisses right above where you wanted him the most.
“Yeah?”
His teasing voice brought goosebumps to your skin and you nodded, gasping when you finally felt his lips graze your clit.
“This what you think about when you fuck yourself?” He mumbled into you, the vibration of his voice making you tighten your grip in his hair. He growled like an animal, trying to push you even further into his mouth by the grip on your thighs.
You were trying to choke out an answer, distracted by the wet sounds of him messily eating you out.
“Y - ah, yes, yeah - not as good as the real thing, though.”
He laughed with his mouth still attached to you and you tightened your thighs around his head, keeping him in place.
He could have spent hours with his mouth to your cunt, practically fucking you with his tongue while you whined his name. 
A knock on your door sounded through the room, the both of you freezing in place.
“Hey, I just wanted to check on you. Are you feeling okay?”
It was Scott.
 You grimaced, thankful at the very least that your door was locked, but Logan had a terribly smug smirk on his face. 
“Y-yeah, I’m alright, just - just tired,” you managed to choke out, stuttering when you felt two of his fingers slip into you effortlessly.
“You sure?”
You sighed, hating and loving Logan at the same time for what he was doing. 
“Yup, th-thank you, m’ jus’ gonna go to bed.”
Scott responded with a goodnight and you groaned in relief when you heard him walk away.
Logan was curling his fingers inside of you, still lapping at your pussy and letting you use your grip on his hair to angle his head however you wanted him. You felt the pressure in your lower stomach rise and you tried to warn him, tugging on the hair on the back of his head.
“Logan, I’m - “
“C’mon, pretty girl, c’mon.”
His encouragement sent you over the edge, euphoria blooming from your lower stomach and spreading through you. You had to cover your mouth to muffle your pornographic moans, but Logan reached up to tug your wrist.
“Uh-uh, wanna hear you, beautiful,” he mumbled into you, practically pushing your thighs even further around his head.
“Fuck, L-Logan, too - too sensitive,” you stuttered out, trying to pull his face away by his hair and failing miserably because of his grip around your thighs.
He eventually reluctantly detached himself and crawled back on top of you, sucking the taste of you off his fingers. 
“I could do that for hours, you know, if you let me,” he groaned, pulling your hips up to him so you could feel the weight of his hard cock underneath his jeans.
Still sensitive, you reactively gripped his biceps and dug your fingernails into his skin. You were going to apologize and were quickly cut off by the guttural moan he let out into the side of your neck.
“Fuck,” he groaned, rocking his hips against yours.
“You’re into pain, huh?” 
You figured it was your turn to tease him, dragging your fingernails from his shoulders all the way down his back.
“You’re gonna pay for that, pretty girl,” he grunted, moving quickly to undo his belt and strip himself of the rest of his clothing. 
When his cock sprung up and hit his stomach as he took off his boxers, you swallowed hard; already feeling a wanting ache in your stomach again. You figured he was big - he was already a tall guy, after all - but he was far bigger than any guy you’d ever seen. Logan noticed the way you bit your lower lip, resting himself on top of you again and bringing his thumb up to pull your lip from under your teeth.
“What, are you nervous? It’s alright sweetheart, I’m not gonna hurt you.”
His voice was so soft and gentle, a tone you rarely ever heard from him. 
You could feel the weight of his cock against your inner thigh, heavy and already leaking. 
“ ‘m not nervous, I want you, please,” you begged, wrapping your legs around his waist. You reached your hand between your bodies to line him up with your entrance, trying to push him in with your legs around his waist. 
“You sure?” he huffed, trying with every muscle in his body to not slam into you in one thrust. 
You nodded eagerly, scratching at his lower back. 
Logan couldn’t help himself and gave in, slipping himself into you.
“So tight,” he groaned into your neck, pushing himself in even further.
“You - fuck - you’re so fucking big,” you admitted truthfully, nearly drooling at the feeling of him stretching you out. 
“Feels good?”
It was hard for him to speak when you were so wet that he was nearly slipping out of you as he gently rocked his hips back and forth, trying to be gentle and let you adjust to his size. 
“Mm - uh-uh,” you hummed, gasping each time he pushed further.
“Use your words, sweetheart,” he huffed and you groaned, digging your nails into him. 
“Y-yes, yeah - want you all the way in,” you whimpered.
That was all it took for him to be buried in you, grinding his hips into yours so that you were pinned to the mattress. 
He worked up to a devastating pace, practically slamming your headboard into the wall.
“S-someone’s gonna - someone’s gonna hear us,” you managed to gasp out, out of breath every time he filled you and pulled back again. 
“Don’t care, let ‘em,” he pressed his forehead to yours, bringing a hand up to your face to affectionately cup your cheek. It was so sweet and almost disgustingly hot, the caring gesture contrasting the intense feeling of him repeatedly slamming into the sensitive spot inside of you. 
He really didn’t have a care in the world about who heard you both, far too lost in the feeling of finally being able to have you under him like that. You had sweat soaked strands of hair stuck to your face, your eyes squeezed shut, and he was almost sure you’d never looked more beautiful. 
“So fucking pretty,” he huffed, his thumb swiping your bottom lip. He had an idea, one he’d considered many times when he thought of you under him like this.
“Bite me.”
You raised your eyebrows in surprise, threading your hand through his hair, “are you sure?”
“Please.”
You forcibly unsheathed your fangs, letting them tentatively poke at his thumb that was still to your lips.
He moved his hand to your throat, resting it there without tightening his grip. 
“Please.”
His pleading had the heat in your lower stomach rising and you obliged, sinking your teeth into his shoulder. You felt guilty - you didn’t enjoy hurting people - until he was whimpering in your ear, moaning your name over and over again. 
You bit his neck, his shoulders, his lip - all the small puncture wounds healing themselves within seconds. 
Having him so pussy drunk and groaning praises into your ear brought the pressure in your lower stomach to a max and you cried out his name, letting him fuck you through your second orgasm. 
“ ‘s good, huh, princess? Come on me, c’mon,” he was begging, feeling your muscles tense around him. That drove him over the edge, his hips rutting into you and his thrusts becoming sloppy. He finally let himself go, filling you and letting it drip from you onto the sheets. He pulled back a little to see the mess you had both made, your inner thighs painted with a mix of his release and yours. He went to pull out completely and you clamped your thighs around his hips again, keeping him still.
“Want me to stay?”
“Mhm - please.”
The sexual tension was replaced with loving comfort, Logan keeping you to his chest as he laid you both on your side. His chin rested on the top of your head and your face was against his chest with your eyes closed. You smiled at the thump of his heartbeat in your ear, nearly letting it put you to sleep. 
“Hey, pretty girl,” he mumbled into your hair, planting a kiss on the top of your head, “you know I love you?”
The last three words made your eyes shoot open and you looked up at him, worried you’d misheard him or maybe he was just messing with you.
“Really?”
“Of course. You think I would’ve done that with you if I wasn’t in love?”
You thought hard for a second, realizing he was right. It wasn’t that he hadn’t had hookups before, but it had been quite a long time since he’d bothered to even get to know someone like that. He wasn’t the type to lead you on, either - always up front with you, even if he didn’t have to be. 
“I love you too,” you answered, unable to hide the wide smile on your face.
“I should’ve told you much sooner,” he sighed, his eyes fluttering closed as you snuggled into him again.
Before you could both fall asleep from exhaustion, he yanked the comforter over the both of you, hearing you mumble sleepily.
“You can make it up to me some more.”
───────♡──────────────♡───────
A/N: If you made it to the end I love you <3 pls lmk what you think and reblog+like if you enjoyed!! also still navigating how to write smut without using cringe terminology so forgive me if that part sucks
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moechies · 10 days ago
Text
older shiu who makes you fuck yourself on a dildo in front of him becuase he can’t fuck you—can’t get hard without those stupid little pills because of his growing age. ♡
and you pout, sniffle and whine when he tells you to put a show on for him instead of taking you into his hold and fucking you senseless on the memory mattress of his penthouse overlooking the ocean view.
you’re still whining, even when tugging down your panties to reveal that pretty, fresh pussy that he’s been looking forward to all day— and he thinks it must be a curse bestowed upon him not being able to get hard at the sight before him. perhaps it’s karma for all of his previous sins— he doesn’t know.
and when you finally slip your cotton panty off your left leg, it hanging from your right angle as you shakily spread your legs, taking the pink, transparent toy to slide it up and down against your slick.
you hiss, breath hitching weakly at the lack of preparation, realizing just how tantalizing it is to press the rather small toy (in comparison to him, at least) in without the help of your lover.
“sh—shiu, please, prep me, h—help, shiu!”
you whimper, dropping the toy and tossing your arms around the thick of his neck.
“oh darling, i told you to put a show on for me, didn’t i? you can’t even finger yourself open?” he scoffs condescendingly, only shaking your head with soft sniffles against his chest.
“pleaseee, daddy!”
“how cruel. do you know how weak you make me, little lady?”
you gasp when you feel a thick finger press against your soddened slit, barely slipping inside your gooey walls before curling the joint up.
“haaah, daddy!”
“there you go.” he whispers when you fall pliant against his hold, back against his burly chest with his free hand splayed across your tummy—tracing soft circles across your hips. “my good girl.”
“you can’t even take that little cock without needin’ my help baby? what would you do without me, baby.”
you writhe when his thumb presses down on your clit, circling the sensitive nub so perfectly that you almost think he’ll let you cum. but your fantasies are resolved to nothing, “there you go baby.” shiu grunts, quickly removing his fingers from your pussy and reaching for the dildo yet again.
“here baby. utilize this. make y’r daddy proud?”
you thrash in frustration, whining out loud as you take the stupid, stupid toy into your hands.
“daddy, wan’ you to d—do it.”
“what, fuck you with it?”
you nod slowly, teary eyes so awfully big and alluring that he almost falls for your little scenic ploy.
“no, baby, do it yourself.” he knows you all too well.
and with a bit of bargaining and some more incessant whining, you find yourself splayed in front of the man once again, your calves stepping over his thighs from where he sits, the pink toy held promptly in between your thighs.
you can’t help the soft cry that leaves your lips after pushing in the tip of the toy— much harder and nonetheless, cold in comparison to your husbands cock. compared to shiu, the toy deems to be unfulfilling and fustrating to use after months of laying prettily under your husband and allowing him all the work.
“da—daddy,”
“yes, darling? do you like it? bein’ a little exhibitionist f’me, hon? i sure do.”
“a..am i doing it r—right?” you sigh, mindlessly pushing in further and helping at the unexpected pain you had never even fell close to feeling when your husband was doing the word.
“not quite. have some rhythm, baby. you’re just pushing it into my poor cunny relentlessly.”
“noo… please, don’t wa—wanna, wan’ you to do it!”
“you’re too spoiled, baby.”
nonetheless, shiu pulls you into his much bigger lap, taking the toy into his left hand and spreading the fatty lips of your pussy with his right.
“she’s all swollen, you’ve been so mean to her. treatin’ her so bad.”
all you can manage is to whimper out a sorry, thumping your leg in desperation.
“listen up now,” shiu instructs, pressing the sticky tip of the dildo to your slit at a lower angle in contrast to your previously straight one. “see how i’ve angled it? isn’t that always how i fuck you? and it never hurts, does it?”
“no, daddy.” you whimper, thighs quivering in anticipation.
“good, now,” he grunts, pressing the tip in so swiftly that it makes you wince. “hnn—“
“look, i’ll fuck you with rhythm, and you’ll feel the difference between how you and i did it. alright?” you only gasp, incapable of a word response and only nodding incessantly.
he pumps the toy into you with fervor, slowing when he presses the toy in deeper and deeper until the plastic base barely touches your soppy cunt. he pulls the toy out much faster, keeping his consistent pace with rudy pummels to your simulated cunt.
“d—daddy!”
you clasp your thighs around the toy—which was much more manageable when he had his waist in between your little thighs that make it physically impossible to avoid his fuckings.
"don't shut your legs doll. i'll stop and you won't cum at all if you do it again." the man growls, pinching at the skin of your thigh. you yelp, spreading your thighs again to avoid conflict with the man.
"you look like you're enjoying this too much, darling. are you even taking this as a learning experience?"
you nod, unsure of what he really even said but if it meant he'd keep up with his pace-you didn't care. you gasp, breath hitching when he stops adruptly. removing the slicked up toy from your clenching cunt.
"here," shiu hands you the sticky toy, feeling your eyes well with tears and bottom lip tremble when you realize,
"you know how to do it now, right? fuck yourself, then, and it better impress me.”
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