#I don’t know how to tag being impaled?? I’m sorry if someone knows what to do for that let me know

[ewwww-what]

Hey girl, what the fuck is your problem?

[holylulusworld]

Caught Cold - Alternative Version (2)

Summary: Something goes wrong on your latest mission.

Ship/Main Pairing: Alpha!Bucky Barnes x Omega!Reader

Read the alternative version here: Caught Cold.

Major Tags/Triggers/Warnings: a/b/o, a/b/o dynamics, mentions of sex pollen, fluff, awkwardness

Catch up here: Caught Cold - Alternative version

The flight back to the tower is excruciatingly awkward. No one looks your way, and no one dares to say a word. Usually, you’d celebrate a successful mission, or crack not-funny jokes.

It’s bad enough that Bucky lost control and mated you like a wild animal. Tony and Steve walking in on you was the worst-case scenario.

How can you forget that two of the men you admire the most watched you and their friend mate?

“So—” Steve clears his throat. He tries to find the right words to apologize for not stopping his friend from mating you. “I’m sorry about the problems with the earpieces, Agent. I didn’t hear you called for backup.”

You snort. A broken earpiece is the least of your problems. You just had unprotected sex with your supervisor, and he claimed you. All the while he was under the influence of a strange toxin.

“Sex pollen, a hell of a ride, huh?” Tony cackles watching you and Bucky stare on the ground. Heat creeps into your cheeks remembering the way you were writhing on Bucky’s cock. “So…are we having a Buckethead baby soon?”

“First and final warning, Stark,” Bucky lifts his head to glare at Tony. He’s ashamed of his doings and hates himself for being unable to fight the sex pollen. “She went through enough.”

“You mean she ended up impaled on your—” Tony ends up on the ground, his cheek swollen and bruised. “What the fuck!”

“I told you,” Bucky raises his fist again, a not-so-silent threat, “stop making things worse for Y/N. It’s all my fault. If you want to make fun of someone, look for a better target. Leave my omega alone!”

You whimper when Bucky roughly takes off his jacket to wrap it around your shoulders. He looks you all over, clumsily patting your hair before he sits next to you.

His scent and the warmth of his jacket calm you. You close your eyes and inhale his scent deeply. If only you didn’t drop the vial with the pollen. Everything has changed, and you don’t know what will happen now.

Can you still be an agent? Will Bucky force you into submission? What if he rejects you now? He claimed you while being high on sex pollen. There is nothing you can do if he decides to break the bond.

“Everything is going to be alright,” Bucky suddenly takes your hand to hold it in his hands. “We will talk about everything after we land.”

“Young love,” Tony snickers. His cheek is swollen, but he didn’t lose his sense of humor. “Huh, Capsicle. Why don’t you grab a dose of sex pollen yourself?”

“Tony, that’s not funny,” Steve grunts. “Why would I want to use this devious toxin to force myself on an omega?”

Bucky flinches at Steve’s words. He feels guilt gnawing at his soul. Today, he added another sin to his long list.

“He didn’t force himself on me,” you murmur and lean your head against Bucky’s shoulder. "The sex pollen would’ve killed him. We had sex to help him survive. Live with it.” You glare at Tony. He opens his mouth but snaps it shut.

“We are about to land in fifteen,” Bruce calls from the pilot seat. He didn’t dare to ask what happened in the abandoned building. The sharp man didn’t have to ask. “Please fasten your seatbelt.”

You laugh at Bruce's seriousness. This whole situation feels surreal.

Who would have thought you’d end up with Bucky’s claiming mark?

“Uh—this is the bedroom, and there is the bathroom,” Bucky explains while guiding you around his apartment at the tower. You don’t tell him that his place is similar to yours. “There’s a kitchenette and you already saw the living room.”

“Don’t get me wrong, but why are you showing me your place?” You wrinkle your forehead.

“You’re my omega, and we will move in together.” He nods to himself before placing his on the small of your back to lead you back into the living room. “If we decide to have pups, we can have a bigger home. A house maybe.”

“Whoa, slow down,” you twirl around to place your hands on his chest. For a moment you allow yourself to feel Bucky up. Hands running over his chest you look at Bucky, really look at him. “We—we…”

“We mated,” he ends your line. “You’re my omega, and I will be a good alpha and take care of you. I claimed you.”

“The drugs…the sex pollen,” you sigh when he places his index finger on your lips to silence you.

“It doesn’t matter, Y/N,” Bucky murmurs. “You know that you’re meant to be mine.” He dips his head to steal a kiss. He whispers your name and wraps his arms around you. “Steve will help me get your things. You can get comfortable while we bring everything here.”

“You’re working fast.”

He grins. “I do.” Bucky wiggles his eyebrows. “This way I tamed a cocky omega and made her mine.”

“Dream on,” you giggle, relieved Bucky doesn’t regret his claim.

“Oh, daydreaming is over,” he purrs low in his throat. “I got the real thing now…”

“I’m still unsure this was the right thing to do.” Bruce shakes his head at Steve. “What if he regrets his claim one day?”

“Bucky was pining over her for months. I had to force him to make a move before that new agent got the chance to ask her out,” Steve casually says while deleting the footage of your latest mission. “He wanted to claim her, and Y/N wanted Bucky to become her alpha. We did nothing wrong…”

“You only made her believe she dropped a vial with sex pollen when in truth you rubbed it into Bucky’s tactical suit.”

“The end justifies the means,” Steve says before walking away.

Tags in reblog.

[angelinthefire]

i can't decide between cute shit and timestamp

Re: this tag game

Thank you for asking!

"Cute shit"

So this is a pretty generic post-15x19, Cas-is-back-from-the-Empty fic. The setup is a lot like "Status quo ante bellum", in that Dean is still working towards fully expressing his feelings towards Cas, and Cas isn't sure where he stands. But Dean is being pretty clearly clingy, so Cas doesn't have the intense anxiety that he does in "Status quo". They go on the clown-mask-vampire hunt, Dean gets impaled, but Cas is there to heal him. But because Dean was so badly injured, it takes a lot out of Cas, and he passes out. Sam and Dean take Cas back to the motel and get him a room, and Dean stays with him overnight. The excerpt picks up the next morning. It's mostly just dialogue.

Cas wakes up first. Frozen, kind of terrified. 

Dean is snuggled into him by now. 

Dean wakes up. Jerks away in shock but recovers quickly.

Cas looks at him nervously.

Dean smiles bashfully, "Hope I didn’t wake you up?"

C: "No you didn’t"

D: "Good. How’re you doing? Anything screwed up?"

C: "No, I’m better."

D: Sighs, relieved. "I was scared."

C: Raises his eyebrows. "You were scared for me?"

D: "‘Course."

C: "Dean, you could’ve died." 

D: "Yeah that scared me too."

C: "Yeah. Me too."

D: "But… if I died… you’d come see me, right? Sneak into my memory box, wake me up? And we could just… hang out on the holodeck?"

C: "It’s a poor substitute for life."

D: "But you’d do it?"

C: (softly) "Yeah."

D: "Good. Y’know, I think… I mean… I wanna spend forever with you."

Cas stares, entirely disarmed. 

Dean’s eyes fall to his lips. 

He leans in. Cas is very still, and closes his eyes. Dean kisses him very softly.

Cas’ eyes are still closed when he pulls away.

Cas opens his eyes. Looks unsettled.

So Dean kisses him again. This time something clicks with Cas and he starts to kiss him back.

2. Timestamp

This is the scene from "Forget your perfect offering" in chapter 4 where Claire goes off to talk to Dean in the kitchen. I wrote the dialogue when I wrote the chapter, so that I would have a clear idea of what was happening with Dean, even though I never intended to post it with the fic. I'm actually pretty sure that I posted it on tumblr at some point, but I can't find it now.

The setup is that Dean is trying to give Cas what he wants so that he'll stay. And Jody, Kaia and Claire come over for a family dinner. And Dean basically tells Claire not to screw it up with her attitude. But he apologizes later, and that's when this scene takes place. Under the cut.

Dean feels bad for telling Claire not to be a weirdo, and asks her to help him with dessert so they can talk in the kitchen.

Dean: Sorry for being, y’know…

Claire: An asshole?

D: Yeah. I guess this whole thing’s got me on-edge.

C: What whole thing?

D: Y’know. Being with Cas. It’s a mindfuck. I mean, you get it, right?

C: Get what?

D: You know…

Claire stares at him.

D: Suddenly being different from how you thought you were.

Claire keeps staring at him.

D: Oh, come on. Your dad was all into Jesus. He didn’t raise you to think being gay was normal. Don’t you ever get hung up on what he’d think if he saw you today?

C: (getting agitated) No, I don’t, because he’s dead. And I had an angel in me, so I know that none of that shit matters.

D: Yeah, but when you started being into girls, you’re saying you didn’t ever worry what other people would think?

C: What the hell, I’m not your therapist, Dean!

D: Yeah. Right. Sorry.

C: (softening, just a little) I get that you need someone to talk to about this crap. But did you think that maybe that someone should be your boyfriend?

D: Talk to Cas? The dude spent eternity as, like, a giant lightbulb or something. I don’t think he knows what it’s like for everyone he knows to suddenly see him as some… some kinda… ugh.

Dean cuts into the rice krispie squares. Claire regards him cooly. The way Dean said "some kinda" gets under her skin.

Claire leans over the counter, and says to Dean in a low, icy voice.

C: Faggot.

Dean freezes and stares at Claire like she just slapped him.

D: What?

C: That’s what you were gonna say, right? That's what you are now.

Dean looks at Claire like he’s about to cry.

C: And you can wear your plaid, and carry a gun and talk like Batman, but that won't change the fact that that's all you are to some people. They'll see you and Cas together and that'll be it, they'll never see you as anything but dirty and wrong and weak. And I dunno, maybe your dad would've been one of them. But you gotta decide whether or not you're going to let them control your life. You gotta decide whether all that bullshit is worth it.

Claire takes the knife from Dean and goes back to cutting the rice krispie squares.

D: (after a long beat) Yeah. Yeah, Cas is worth it.

C: (significant look) I don't mean Cas. I mean being yourself.

D: (some kind of subtexutal reminder that Dean still thinks he's not really in love with Cas) Heh. Yeah. Thanks Claire.

C: Whatever. Don't start thinking I'm your gay Yoda.

D: It’ll be hard. You give good advice. For a dyke.

C: (good natured) Pansy.

D: Queer.

C: Cocksucker.

D: Nah, that’s not till later tonight.

C: Ew!

D: What, you don’t wanna hear about my plans for Cas’ cock?

C: No! Shut up, Dean!

[ladydimitrescuspet]

Safe With Me

ao3 link! anon sentence prompt request: "ready or not, here I come." angst to fluff, very emotional. sorry for any grammatical errors! I was given a 2000 word limit or less and I went almost 200 over but enjoy and tell me what you think!

***

Hiding for your Mistress and her daughters was one thing but hiding from a hunter who had entered the castle undetected was another. Alcina and her daughters weren’t home, they were down in the village. Alcina’s daughters didn’t need to go with her, but they managed to convince her to let them tag along.

You had been getting ready to walk downstairs when you saw the hunter walk out of the room that led to the courtyard. Another thing you hated was that there was no staff today so you were all alone with the hunter. Your breath had caught in in your throat as you slowly backed up so he wouldn’t hear your footsteps but you weren’t paying attention and you hit one of the marble busts in the hallway, its banging up against the wall catching the hunter’s attention.

“Who’s in here?!” The hunter shouted out. Your eyes widened and your heart started beating even faster as you heard him coming towards the stairs. You looked around for somewhere to hide, but your legs felt like they couldn’t move. The hunter quickly ascended the stairs and laid eyes on you. “Now, what’s a pretty thing like you doing in this big castle all by your lonesome?” He asked with a creepy smile.

You let out an ear-piercing scream before you felt your legs finally work as you ran down the hallway towards Alcina’s chambers. You quickly entered the room and shut the door, locking it so he wouldn’t come in and hid under the bed. It didn’t take him long to realise where you had gone when he checked the door handle to find the door locked. You flinched as you heard the bullets hitting the handle, holding your breath when you heard the door creak open.

“I know you’re in here, sweetheart. I won’t hurt you.” The hunter said. You wish you could scream out Alcina’s name and that she’d come running to save you, but you knew she wouldn’t be able to hear you. “Come on now, I can help you.” He said as he stopped by the bed. You saw him start to crouch down and made your way to the other side of the bed. “There you are.” He grinned at you and you kicked him in the face scrambling from under the bed.

“Stay away from me!” You yelled over your shoulder as you dashed from the room.

“You little bitch! Get back here!” He screamed as he held his hand over his eye.

You didn’t stop running until you got to the hallway that had Alcina’s study and the library on it. Quickly deciding to hide in the library since it was bigger than Alcina’s study, you barricaded the door with a chair and a shelf that took a bit of work to move.

Your chest was heaving as you let out heavy breaths. You saw the handle to the library door jiggle and a small chuckle escape the hunter’s lips. “So you’re in here, are you?” He asked, his voice muffled. “Well, ready or not, here I come.” He grunted out as his rammed his shoulder into the doors to get them to open.

You shook your head as tears streamed down your face. Yes, the library was huge, but there were no good hiding places. But you headed up the left side of the stairs anyway just to put some distance between you two, a decision you made a second too late when the hunter came barrelling into the library, spotting you immediately.

“Aw, don’t run from me anymore, sweetheart, you’re starting to hurt my feelings.” He said as he cocked the gun and aimed it for you. You ducked when the first shot rang out, running up the rest of the stairs and hiding in between the bookcases as best as you could. The spot was cramped but you hoped that he wouldn’t find you here. Your heart thudded with every footstep he took up the stairs to the second floor. “Now, where could you be up here?” He asked as he looked through the rows of books. You thought it was strange when he started walking down the aisle you went down, like he could smell where you were hiding. The thought made your eyes widen and you pushed yourself back further into the space trying to get to the other aisle just as someone grabbed your arm.

“Let go of me!” You screamed at him, kicking him again but in his leg this time as you dashed down the aisle. He met you at the end of it. You pushed him out of your way, trying to get back down the stairs.

“Not on my watch sweetheart. You either die right here or I take you back down the village to be mine. What’s it gonna be?” He asked.

You grimaced. “Neither.” You replied. He kept walking towards you and you backed up until your back hit the balcony rail. “Take one more step towards me and I’ll jump.” You threatened. He smirked at you as if daring you to do so as he took one more step. To his surprise, you did jump from the balcony and to your surprise, you landed on one of comfy couches that was in the library.

“You stupid bitch!” He growled out as he headed back down the stairs. You quickly got up from the couch to make your way to the door, but somehow, he got there before you, blocking your only escape route. Was the door opened that wide when he came in? You shook the question from your mind. “Not so fast. I asked you a question and you gave me your answer so by default I’m gonna carve you up real nice for the Lady to come home to. Such a shame that I have to do something to such a pretty face.”

You shook your head at him, your hands coming up defensively as you back away from him. “Pl-please. I don-” Your words were cut off as you tripped over the rug where it had come up slightly. “I’ll, I’ll go with you. I just, please, don’t kill me.” You pleaded with him as he cocked his gun again.

“Too late for that. Any last words?” He replied.

You felt the tears streaming down your face. You whispered four words to yours before closing your eyes. “I love you, Alcina.” You waited for the shot to ring out and you heard two, but you heard something shatter and a squishing noise. You slowly opened one eye to find the man who had just threatened to end your life being impaled by your Mistress’ claws, gurgling blood in his mouth. “Alcina?”

Alcina led the body slide off her claws and signalled for her daughters to take the body from the room. “Are you alright, iubirea mea?” Alcina asked as she crouched down. You stared at her and nodded your head slightly. You saw her nostrils flare as she sniffed the air and looked down at your leg. “Oh, sweet thing, you’re hurt.”

You looked down to where her gaze was trained and saw the blood oozing out of your leg. You suddenly felt lightheaded. “Al...” It was all you could say before you felt yourself about to pass out.

“No, dear, stay awake for me.” She said as she picked you up carefully, carrying you over to the couch and placing you down before put your leg over hers. You weakly nodded your head as you heard the sound of buzzing. “Girls, get something to warm her up and get the first aid kit. Go down to village and get the doctor, wake her up if you have to, just get her here quickly.” She commanded. You heard the chorus of “Yes, Mother” before they flew away again.

“Ina?” You said. She hummed. “Ho- how did yo-”

Alcina cut you off. “I could smell his blood as you as I entered the gates. I got here as quickly as I possibly could.” You heard her sniffle. “This will hurt, but I must put pressure on the wound.”  You let out a strangled scream as she pressed on the wound to minimize the bleeding. “Shh, shh, sweet one, it’ll all be alright.” She said to you softly. “Where the hell are they?” She growled to herself.

You heard a soft buzzing come into the room. “The first aid kit, Mother. Daniela and Cassandra went to fetch the doctor.” Bela said. “Will she be alright?” Bela asked as she helped her Mother dress your wound until the doctor got here.

“I’m not sure, my dear. Did you bring a blanket?” Bela nodded her head and handed them to her Mother. “There, my sweet, these’ll keep you warm until the doctor arrives. You’ve gotten dreadfully cold in such a short matter of time.”

You could barely move so you just let out a small noise so that they would know you were still with them. It felt like hours had passed until Alcina was welcoming the doctor into the room to look at you.

“Well, Y/N, will need surgery to remove the bullet.” The doctor said. You heard Alcina protesting, not wanting you out of her sight. “It would be unsanitary for me to do it here, Lady Dimitrescu.” You could hear Alcina growl something out to the doctor in Romanian. “If this wound gets infected, My Lady, then this one’s on you. Prep her for me.”

Alcina made sure the table in the library was thoroughly sanitised before placing you on it. “The doctor’s going to get the bullet out, and then I’ll take care of the wound afterwards.” She pressed a kiss to your forehead before whispering something to one of her daughters.

When you came to you could feel Alcina’s honey golden eyes staring at you as she sat by you. “You passed out from the potion, draga mea. You’ve been asleep for a few days.” She said to you softly, her head coming up to your forehead. “You’ve a small fever. But the doctor was able to get the bullet out during the surgery. However, though the potion did heal up your leg from any infections that you may or may not have gotten, the doctor wants you to stay off your leg as much as possible.” Alcina explains.

“Oh.” Was all you could say at the time.

“Try to go back to sleep, sweet one. After such an event, you need the rest.” You shook your head. You didn’t want to sleep, the fear of dreaming about what happened creeping up on you. “My dear, I can’t stay with you. I have some work to do so it’s either stay here or go to the library.”

Your eyes widened at the thought of being in the library. “Please don’t leave me.” You whispered to her. You didn’t realise you were crying until she was wiping the tears away with her thumbs. “Please.”

Alcina pressed a kiss to your forehead. “I won’t, I won’t, I’m right here.” She whispered. “If you wish to read, we can go to the library and I can work from there.” You nodded your head hesitantly before Alcina picked you up and headed to the library. She sat you down outside the door of the library. “Go on inside, I’ll be right there in a moment.” She said before disappearing into her study.

You didn’t move as you stared at the closed door. You couldn’t bring yourself to place your hand on the handle and open the door. “I can’t,” You said to yourself. “No! No! No! Stop it, please!” You yelled out.

Alcina rushed to your side. “Darling, what is it?” She asked, concern lacing her voice.

“He’s in there, Ina. He, he, I can’t. Please.” Your voice cracked as you pushed yourself into Alcina’s body. Your tears soaking her dress.

“Okay, okay. We won’t go in the library.” She ran her hand down your back before guiding you into her study. “How foolish of me to think that you’d want to go in there, especially by yourself. I’m sorry, sweet thing.” Alcina said, chastising herself.

“Please don’t leave me alone.” You said looking up at her from your position on her lap.

Alcina shook her head. “No, my darling, I won’t. I won’t ever leave you alone.” She pressed a kiss to your lips and you melted into it. “Never again.” She said against your lips before she pulled away and pressed one to your forehead. You pressed yourself deeper into her chest, just wanting to be as close to her as possible. She wrapped her arms around you. “I promise that you’ll always be safe with me, sweet one. Always.” You hummed into her chest at her promise. You knew she’d keep her word to you, in every way she could.

[attllhak]

So I just got settled after getting home from camping, and I had forgotten that I hadn’t posted this before I left. I remembered in the middle of the weekend and felt bad, but I ended up not having time the morning I left. So have it now, since I did promise it!

Also, @tortilla-of-courage I promised to tag you in all the merAU stuff I posted, and so I’m tagging you. We now figure out what happened to Warriors.

--------------------

“Is he alive?”

“Yeah, you can see him breathing,”

“What is he even doing here?”

“I don’t know, I just found him,”

“We should tell Grandma,”

“Obviously, but we can’t leave him either,”

“Oh, I can go tell her, and you can watch him!”

“Oh that’s a good idea!”

“Okay, I’m gonna, hey! He’s waking up!”

“Huh?”

Warriors squeezed his eyes and blinked, squinting at the sun above him.

A pair of round faces appeared over him. Kids, probably.

He groaned, reaching a hand up to his head. He tried to remember what had happened.

He’d been with his pod, and a ship came by. Poachers. They singled him out, and their captain had him fished out of the water. The rest of his pod tried to help, but the poachers had guns and harpoons. He had seen at least one of his pod mates impaled by one of the harpoons through their tail.

His pod had no choice but to flee.

He remembered sitting in a net for hours under the sun until he’d dried and his scales began to flake.

Eventually he was swung onto the deck and dropped there. He had managed to pull himself onto shaking arms when his face had been wretched up, sharp nails digging into his cheeks.

He immediately felt sick when the woman, the captain of the ship, looked at him. It felt like he was being examined, like some kind of object on display. He felt oddly exposed under her gaze.

It was only years of training as a guard for his pod that allowed him to keep from panicking.

“Oh aren’t you pretty,” the human purred, and Warriors struggled to swallow. “You’ll look so pretty in my home,”

I’m going to die, he had thought.

Her plan for him was worse.

This woman, Cia, wanted a pet. Some pretty mer she could dress up in fancy things and put on display for all her guests to awe at.

He learned this after he was shackled to the deck with a thick chain attached to a cuff on his arm. Occasionally someone would be by to dump a bucket of water on him, but only after another woman, who looked very similar to the captain, warned that he’d be dead by the time they got to shore if they didn’t.

By the time the sun finally set, he’d been laid out flat on the polished wood, his skin and scales burned from the sunlight and lack of water, feeling dizzy and unfocused.

Sun sickness, he’d heard some of the merrow in their pod talk about it. He never thought he’d have it.

Once the sun had well set, the woman who had told them he needed water returned with keys.

Had he been stronger, he would have tried to fight her off. As it stood, all he could manage was to bare sharp teeth at her.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I didn’t realize she’d be so cruel. I’m going to report her when we dock, but the authorities don’t release poached mer. So I’m getting you out tonight,”

He watched as she undid the shackle on his arm, and he dragged it slowly back to himself, trying to comprehend that.

He hissed and squirmed when she started dragging him, his burned skin and scales awake with pain as they ran over the unforgiving surface.

They got caught by one of the other poachers, and he and the woman argued and shouted. The poacher had some kind of fire, and didn’t hesitate to attack them.

He was thrown overboard, but the fire still hit his arm. He screamed, the first sound since he was brought aboard, and fell.

The cold water was a shock to his sun burned body, and he was out in an instant.

Well, the sun sickness explained his headache. And why his body was aching.

“Who,” he tried to croak, but his throat felt like it was lined with coral and filled with sand, and speaking hurt.

He went to move his hand to it, but cried out in further pain as the fire burns shifted on the sand. He squeezed his eyes shut to beat back tears, all but whimpering in pain.

“Go get Grandma! Now!” One of the kids, the boy, shouted, and he heard a splash as the girl left.

He was on a shore, not land, since he could now feel the water lapping at his tail. He moved his right hand over his body, reaching for where his left arm stung and stabbed with pain.

“Hey! Don’t do that!” Small hands grabbed his wrist and he opened his eyes again, blinking to see around tears at the boy leaning over him. “Don’t worry, help will be here soon,”

He decided to believe that, focusing on the boy’s face to try and distract himself from the pain.

The boy was young, maybe twelve or thirteen. Big, bright blue eyes, and sun bleached blonde hair. The boy was grinning, but visibly nervous.

‘Who are you?’ He flashed, not wanting to deal with his damaged throat.

“Me?” The boy blinked. “My name is Link! Do you have a name?”

Warriors smiled. ‘My name is also Link, but I’m not the only Link in my pod. They called me Warriors,’

“That’s such a cool name!” Link grinned.

Warriors smiled.

It took too long, as far as he was concerned, for help to arrive. Wind, Link’s new nickname since he wanted a cool name too, had done his best to keep Warriors distracted, when a very old mer climbed onto the beach next to them.

She hissed when she pressed a hand to his head, and Warriors found himself following her hand when it pulled away, chasing the cool wetness with a weak whine.

“Sun sickness,” she pronounced in an old, creaking voice. “And some very bad burning. He needs medical help,”

She slipped back into the water and the young girl replaced her.

Not long after he found himself gently, but no less painfully, picked up by a pair of merrow and transported back into the water.

He couldn’t help the whimper of relief as he felt the water around his body again, and did his best to bite back any cries of pain as they washed the sand from his body and burns. His spaulder was removed so they could treat his injuries, but he was promised its return.

He was far too gone to care about his property anymore, gripping the arm of one of the merrow supporting him with his good hand and pressing his head to their soft, cool skin.

They helped him down into the water, and set him up in an underwater cave where the sun couldn’t reach him. It was cool, and dark, and Warriors almost instantly curled up and passed out again.

He was in and out of consciousness for the next few days, hiding curled up in the coldest corner of his cave and letting healers come in and out to treat his burns. His skin peeled and scales flaked due to the sunburns, and they rubbed cooling salves into the burns. They treated the burn on his arm with even more care.

When he finally properly came to, he spent a long moment sitting in his cave and looking himself over.

His left arm had been pretty badly scarred, and the fin was frayed and damaged, but hadn’t been cut short. That surprised him a bit, he knew a few people whose fins were so badly damaged that it was better for their health to cut them shorter and he would have figured that had happened. Maybe this pod didn’t do fin cuttings for some reason?

The rest of his burns had healed well, and his throat didn’t feel like hurting him anymore.

He looked up when a mer snuck in, and he smiled when he saw Wind.

‘Hi, Wind,’ he waved, smiling.

This was when he noticed Wind’s fins were much smaller than his, and his scale pattern was different.

Wind was a coastal mer.

That explained the lack of fin cutting.

‘Are you feeling better?’ Wind asked, giving up all form of secrecy as he approached and plopped down right next to Warriors. He guessed Wind wasn’t supposed to be here.

Warriors shrugged. ‘More aware than I was before,’

‘That’s good!’ Wind grinned. ‘I’m sorry we couldn’t fix your fin,’

Warriors lifted his arm, frowning at the damaged fin. ‘You tried to fix it?’

‘Yeah?’ Wind tilted his head, equally confused. ‘Why? What did you expect us to do?’

‘Cut it back,’ he answered honestly. ‘It’s too damaged to save, so back in my pod we would have just cut back the fin and got rid of the damaged parts,’

Wind looked horrified. ‘Why would you do that?!’

Warriors blinked back, not sure what was so bad about what he said.

‘We have very big fins,’ he tried to explain. ‘Dragging around damaged fins can be really annoying, and sometimes detrimental to your health. So anything we can’t heal, we usually cut back,’

Warriors and Wind shared a long look.

They agreed not to talk about it anymore.

‘What happened to you?’ Wind asked instead. ‘Aryll and I found you on the beach and you were really out of it. Gran said you might not remember that,’

‘I do remember that,’ Warriors smiled. ‘Thank you for that, by the way. You didn’t have to help me, but I’m grateful that you did,’

Wind shook his head. ‘Of course I had to help you! You needed help!’

Warriors ruffled Wind’s hair, laughing at the squawk Wind made. ‘You’re a good person, Wind,’

Wind huffed, fixing his hair. ‘So, what did happen to you? We don’t get a lot of tropical mer around here,’

Warriors frowned. Just how far was he from his pod?

‘I, uh, I didn’t leave my pod willingly,’ he didn’t want to scare Wind at all, considering he didn’t know if poachers frequented this area or not.

‘You were kidnapped,’ Wind nodded.

Sure, they could say that.

‘Something like that, yes,’ Warriors nodded. ‘I was on a ship for a while, and the humans weren’t very good at keeping me hydrated. One of them took pity on me, and dumped me over the side once the sun set. I, don’t remember anything after that, until you and your sister found me on the beach,’

Wind reached out and, after a second of hesitation, wrapped his arms around Warriors in a hug. ‘I’m sorry. Usually the bad humans don’t come here,’

Warriors startled a bit, he didn’t usually get hugs from people, but he carefully set his arms down around Wind in turn, not even trying to fight the soft smile on his face.

He liked this kid, he thought.

Wind was chased out by healers not long after, apparently he’d been slipping in and making a nuisance of himself since Warriors arrived, and they looked him over and asked more questions.

After a while, the healers left and the very old mer from earlier returned. Her blue scales had been dulled by age, and her grey hair was pulled up in a bun. She squinted at him through the wrinkles in her face, and he instinctively straightened up. This woman was the matriarch of her pod.

‘My grandson told me you were aware,’ she flashed at him.

He nodded, trying his best to be polite.

‘He also told me you were kidnapped,’ she continued. ‘By humans,’

‘Poachers,’ he confirmed. ‘I got lucky,’

She nodded. ‘Do you know how far you traveled?’

‘I don’t,’ he shook his head, and looked down to his hands. ‘I don’t even know how long I’ve been away from my pod,’

‘A while at least,’ she said once he looked up again. ‘You’ve been out of it for a few days here, and we don’t know when you washed up on the beach. Not to mention that there aren’t any tropical mer pods nearby,’

Warriors nodded, looking down again.

He was probably very far from his pod, and it would take a long, long time to find them again. He wasn’t particularly fond of the idea of heading out into the open ocean with no direction either. Who knows how far he’d traveled. Who knows how far he’d travel in order to find his pod again. If he found his pod again. He might never get back to them.

He looked up when a gentle hand rested on his shoulder.

‘Don’t look so defeated,’ the old mer smiled at him. ‘We’ll help you get back to your pod. And until we find them, you can stay with us,’

Warriors looked at her, kind and helpful and comforting, and smiled back. He nodded.

He could do that.

(---)

Warriors got his spaulder back, and was quickly sussed out by this pod’s, very lacking, guard, and ended up employed. Mostly he was just retraining them, since they needed some help.

He liked having a spear in his hands again. It was a relief to be able to have a weapon.

Wind and Aryll had both attached themselves to him as well, and after a week they were introducing him as their very pretty big brother. Wind had even managed to convince Warriors to teach him how to fight.

Some days Warriors didn’t even mind that he might never get back to his original pod.

He did learn that Wind happened to be friends with a human pirate, however, and that stressed him out immensely.

Maybe he should talk to that therapist Gran had suggested he see. He hadn’t had issues with his podmates speaking to the marine researchers before he was poached.

But, pirates.

It never hurt to be cautious.

[sword-brainrot]

hENLO ITS ME AGAIN SORRY TO BOTHER YOU, THE HEADCANONS YOU MADE WERE BEAUTIFUL IM ACTUALLY SOBBING GIJGUIHDUGH. anyway its time to go apeshit, it angsty time. Lets say the saniwa is a self-sacrificing type of person and took a hit for someone during battle and is in critical condition (THEY FINE ITS OK THEY RECOVER) how would hasebe, kashuu (romantic), and sayo (platonic) react? seperate of course dearie~! THANK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU <3<3<3

Heshikiri Hasebe,  Kashuu Kiyomitsu, and Sayo Samonji Reaction to a self-sacrificing Reader (GN Reader)

♡  It wasn't too common for their master to go into battle with them but sometimes the mission calls for it. This being the case. It was an understanding situation but stressful nonetheless. Hordes of enemies swarming the group of swords and their master. Everyone was holding them off while you were going to break the charm on the shrine... But things didn't go exactly as planned.

♡  You hear a loud yell as one of your precious swords, Hasebe, mutters the words he normally does when he gets a severe injury. "It's not over until I die!" His hand gripping his blade and blood flows out of his wounds and onto the cold, hard ground. The enemies seem to notice that the poor sword no longer had any troops on him and one more shot could easily knock him down. More begin to pile over to him, ready to finish him off.

♡  Frantic hammering of your heart in your ears overtook your senses as you sprinted towards him. You could also come back to this time in history to save the shrine but you couldn't get back your sword that you grew to love. Even if you resmithed him, he wouldn't remember you or the memories you share. You can't leave the sword that made you so happy. So your legs carried you until you were right in front of the badly wounded man.

♡  His expression contorted into one of pure terror when he saw you were the one that ran to his aid. Why... Why did it have to be you? Why would you put yourself in such danger for a sword like him?

♡  "Get away from me!” His words fell to deaf ears as you dashed in front of him, and released a crystal colored barrier in front of you both. You were sure that it would hold off the enemies that were hammering against it. You saved him. You were sure. You just had to hold them off until the other swords could rush over and help you two.

♡  Everything was going smoothly until you heard the words that would stay with you forever.

♡  "NAGAE YARI IN FRONT."

♡  Just like that, the Kebiishi lunged forward with it's spear, crushing your barrier and impaling you in all but one strike. White sparkles that was once a shield now floating up into the sky and disappearing as you fell to your knees, clasping the spear in your gut. When did the Kebiishi get here...? Were you their target all along because you were also messing with history? How did this go so wrong...?

♡  Hasebe’s entire body was wracked by sobs as you lay curled in a ball on the ground, writhing around in utter agony. His own injured body slowly hobbling over to your and grasping you tightly. His tears falling down and painting your cheek. The Kebiishi had already pulled out their spear and went looking for more healthy targets to take down.

♡  The pain was too much to bare. All you could do was stare up at the sword that looked so broken.

♡  “You can't leave,” Hasebe whimpered in the highest tone you’ve ever heard from him. He sounded like a child with the way his raspy voice cracked. His grip on you was high and you could feel every shake that went through his body as the sobs broke out. "You can't leave... I have just learned how to open up and love again... Don't you dare leave. Don't abandon me."

♡  "It's all my fault... I should of been stronger. I should of taken that hit.. I-... I love you. Don't go." He hiccuped through strained wheezes for air.

♡  Although your vision was spotting and blurring, you could see Hasebe tremble where he sat. His body was rocking the two of you back and forth. He didn't care about what was going on around you. Nothing mattered if you weren't okay. He didn't matter unless you were okay. You made him feel love and appreciated. You reminded him that he was a sword worth having by your side. A man you loved for who he is. If he lost that, he lost everything that mattered to him.

♡  With one final, ragged breath, you closed your eyes and succumbed to your injuries. Hasebe didn’t scream like you thought he would. He watched you drift off to sleep in utter silence, almost holding his breath in hope it wasn't actually happening. The only sound that came from him was sniffing back tears and coughing sporadically.

♡  By the time you awoke, you were in the infirmary of the citadel. Yagen and two swords who were on the mission with you, Tonbokiri and Horikawa Kunihiro, sat by you. Your eyes opening bought smiles to their faces. Horikawa wiping away the happy tears that suddenly rushed out when he finally saw you open your eyes.

♡  Your body ached all over but it was tolerable compared to what you had just faced before. Your abdomen tightly wrapped up. It was Tonbokiri that explained that they were able to get out when a few of them awakened and rushed over, using the charm stone and teleporting back to the citadel. You were rushed to the infirmary right away and you stayed unconscious for three days.

♡  "When you are feeling well enough... I think you should head over to your room. Hasebe locked himself in there and hasn't came out since coming back to the citadel... We haven't been able to get him to eat or even talk to him." Horikawa explained.

♡  When you felt well enough, you adventured over there. Swords stopping you on the way to express how happy to see you up and okay. They expressed how worried they all were when you came back in such a condition.

♡  A series of knocks on the door were greeted with silence. The static sobbing from the room paused for a moment, then resumed.

♡  Taking out a key, you unlocked the door and slowly walked in. You could see Hasebe in total darkness as he held the picture frame of you two to his chest. His body not even turning towards you.

♡  "Don't you dare come into this room only to tell me something I already know. Get out now before I cut you down."

♡  "Hasebe... It's me."

♡  You could see his body visibly tense and stop breathing. Approaching him with caution, you kneeled onto the bed beside him and placed your palm on his cheek. He leaned into your touch, his face stained with tears. One hand releasing the frame and grasping your hand tightly, as if he was scared that if he let you go... You would disappear right then and there.

♡  "It's really you," he would whisper as his violet eyes slowly locked with yours. It was only then he would fully release the frame and instead grab you, embracing you in the tightest hug you have ever experienced. He would only let up when you winced in pain from how tight it was. His body shaking as he bawled his eyes out.

♡  Hasebe pressed chaste kisses all over your face, making sure you knew he loved you no matter how he acted. "Don't ever do something stupid like that again. I will make them all pain for what they did to you. I won't let a single one walk this earth. I will make them feel the pain you felt times a hundred. I will make them beg to-"

♡  "I'm okay, Hasebe." You would calmly say as you stroke his cheek. "You look exhausted though... Come, let us rest for some more. I won't leave your side, not again." You both would settle down and he will gently hold you close to his chest. His red eyes slowly closing and a small smile present on his face knowing that he finally has you back.

♡  It was the Ikedaya incident. The moon was high in the sky and the cold skin gently bit at everyone's cheeks. For normal people of the time, they were not even aware of the killing going on near them. However the swords and their master were aware. They were planning for this event for a while ever since the History Revisionists came to this time in history.

♡  Most of the swords were inside, dealing with enemies to make sure that no one gets to the top of the stairs where Okita, Kashuu's and Yasusada's, was to meet his end. It was there you stood, at the stop of the stairs, stealing off the door to make extra sure that only people of that time could enter.

♡  Everything was going well... Until you felt the charm on your sash dissipate. You had only given it to one sword... The one sword that was not in the building... The one who was directly involved with this incident... The one sword that claimed that he rather not be muddied with Okita's blood again instead of saying how he didn't want to witness his master and his old sword self die again. The one sword that stolen your heart, Kashuu Kiyomitsu.

♡  You quickly finished the barrier before hearing a yelp as you ran down the stairs, jumping over the last few. Your legs pumped as you quickly dodged enemies and tried to make your way outside where Kashuu was surrounded by enemies. Your skin crawled as you saw Kashuu barely be able to stand and the enemies, with their ruthless gaze, advancing on him.

♡  "Uwa!? Heavy damage...!?" Kashuu managed to rasp as the enemy slammed into him and brought him to the ground. One more hit and surely he would be broken. You could hear the pain in his voice even though he tried to mask it. His body trembling as he was slowly coming to terms that this night was a cursed night for him. No matter if he was human or sword... He dies constantly on this day in history.

♡  He was in danger and didn't have much time left. You quickly took out your ofuda charms from your poach as you called for help to the swords still inside the building, dealing with enemies. It didn't take long before two of them came out but by that time, you were already gone.

♡  You had already run off into the crowd, tagging as many enemies as you could. The tags slowly melting them and making them transform into black dust... But there was far too many for you to handle by yourself. You just had to make it to Kashuu. You just had to make sure he was safe...

♡  "You idiot! Get out of here." Kashuu screamed as he noticed you were trying to make yourself through the crowd to him, all by yourself. You ignored his cries and slid to the side, dodging one of enemy’s strikes.

♡  All things considered, you were able to dodge all the swings coming your way. You were doing well! You just had to make it to him and cast a barrier over the you of you and-

♡  A sword was brought down right as you were about to dodge and landed right against your back. The impact brought you to your knees, only a couple feet away from your lover. Blood pooled underneath you and you gritted your teeth, the pain overriding your senses and bringing tears to your eyes.

♡  You clutched your fists, wincing as crimson bloomed on your shirt. Panic hadn’t filled your veins yet.

♡  Your eyes snapped up to meet Kashuu’s as the enemies loomed over the two of you, ready to finish you off. . Anxiety began to set in, your movements growing more sloppy as you desperately tried to crawl over to your lover. Kashuu slowly reaching for you as well.

♡  "Stop moving, idiot. Just take deep breaths, all right? Just look at me. You're going to be okay... I won't let anything happen to you."

♡  You felt your body grow numb as you lost more blood. You could no longer feel the cold ground under you or the wind brushing against your face. To you, everything was cold. You scooched closer to Kashuu and extended a hand. Though still far apart, he grasped it back and squeezed tightly so you knew he was there. "Kashuu... I'm cold."

♡  “You’re gonna be fine.” He was lying through his teeth. Kashuu could see the glassy look in your eyes. The hand quivered in his, he could feel the life draining from it. Your voice wasn’t a comfort to him anymore, every word you spoke was full of agony and he wished you would stay quiet as to not worry him more.

♡  His own hand was shaking. This night was truly a cursed one. The past him was taken to this place to watch his master die and get covered in his blood only to break in battle. Now he held onto his bleeding out master/lover and couldn't do anything to stop them from slowly fading from consciousness. His lover was bleeding out in front of him and there was absolutely nothing he could do. He tried so desperately to hide the fear from his face, but a single tear slid down his cheek and his expression sunk when he felt you begin to fade away. The last thing you heard as your eyes began to close was Kashuu screaming at the top of his lungs your name.

♡  You were awoken by the sound of someone rushing to your side. Bright light blinding you as your eyes slowly adjusted and you were met with a familiar sight. The infirmary room that you often went in to visit your precious swords and your boyfriend, Kashuu. His own body had be bandaged up and he met you will a smile. "Good morning, sleep well?"

♡  "What happened?" Your voice faint and raspy as you slowly sat up, your back stinging you along the way. But with the help of Kashuu, you were able to fully sit up and get handed water to help your very dry throat.

♡  "Before I answer that... Let's get you cleaned up. As much as I love you, you're a mess." He would give you a teasing grin as he helps you stand. Leading you over to where he can draw a bubble bath for you so you can wash and clean yourself.

♡  He would sit on the side and help you clean up, making sure to extra careful of your back and making sure to massage your scalp as he washes.

♡  "Yesterday... Don't do that again. You know how I feel about Okita's death. I don't need that happening to you. I don't want to lose another person I care about. This citadel needs you so don't go running into a crowd of enemies for just one sword and almost getting yourself killed. You're lucky Hyuuga and Akashi arrived on time or else we would of both vanished from existence."  His hands maneuvered around your body with precision and care as he washed away all of the dirt and dust that marred your skin.

♡  "You're important too, you know." You replied as you leaned into his touch, "I didn't go into danger for nothing. I went into it because of you. I don't want to lose you as much as you don't want to lose me. So next time... When you are in trouble, call for us. I will come running for you right away."

♡  This hands will stop moving and he would laugh from the pit of his stomach. This causing you to turn to face him. Small droplets of tears appearing out the side of his eyes as his laughter calmed down. "You act like if I break, I won't fall for you all over again. You can get me back but I can't get you back. So don't ever try that again, stupid." He would finish off the conversation with him leaning in and pressing a soft kiss on your forehead.

♡  Labored breaths escaped you as you ran in the dark forest. The stems of the tree sprouting from the ground to constantly trip you up... and it was working. You constantly found yourself tripping and having to push yourself off things to keep going. You couldn't stop... They were gaining on you.

♡  This all started when you went undercover to gain information on what was changing in this time in history. It was suppose to be safe! You were suppose to get information while the boys left and dealt with the History Revisionists. It was a trap... They wanted you all along.

♡  You had signaled to them that the enemy was by you before you began your big chase. There had been no sight of them and your legs were beginning to burn. Tripping became more constant and you can hear them getting closer and closer. There was many of them... More than you could handle by yourself.

♡  Your luck was beginning to run out until one last stem tripped you and sent you to your knees. Your ankle shooting pain up your leg when you tried to move it. Fear painted on your face as you looked behind you and saw the glowing eyes in the dark. The blades gleaming from the small sunlight between the branches. Your luck had run out.

♡  Your held your ankle tightly as the enemies rose their blades towards you, ready to end you here and now. Your eyes shut tightly as you awaited for your final breath to come... But it didn't. Instead you heard pains of agony. When you finally found the courage to open your eyes, you saw Sayo standing in front of you with his dagger in hand. Holding off the enemies. He must of been the only sword to be quick enough to make it in time.

♡  As much as you wished to be happy to see your precious sword... There was far too many of them. Too many for one tantou risking his everything to protect his precious master. The both of them were well aware. Maybe if Sayo could hold off until that others get there, everything will be alright!

♡  That was the hopeful thought until a tantou enemy got the sneak attack on him and he received a critically blow. His body crumbling to the ground in front of you as he muttered, "I understand... I don't care how things will turn out...!" His blue eyes glaring at the horde of enemies in front of you two. His body dragging himself upward, planning to protect you to his death.

♡  However, you had another plan. You weren't going to just sit there and let him die for you. He has come so far on his journey of accepting himself, you weren't going to let these monsters take that away from him.

♡  Right as the blade was began to come down and finish him off, you embraced him and turned your body so you would take all of the impact rather than him. Sharp yelp was released from your vocal cords as you held onto the short sword and protected him from the pain.

♡  Sayo couldn't believe his eyes, he stood there tense and wide eyed. "M-Master...?" His voice had always been on the quiet side but this voice sounded scared and barely escaping from his tensed throat. "Why would you..."

♡  "Sayo, you have... So much to live for. You are so much greater than you give yourself credit for. I am proud of you every day, so don't throw yourself away... You are more than the revenge that haunts your heart."

♡  His lips trembled and tears streaked down his cheeks as he held your body that was going limp in his arms. "Don't leave! I don't want to be left alone again. Please don't leave me, aruji!" He would scream at the top of his lungs, shaking you and trying to get you to wake up... But sleep whispered into your ears and sent you into darkness.

♡  Before you even opened your eyes, you could feel pressure on your hand... Were you asleep on it again? Slowly opening your eyes and blinking to adjusted to your surrounding made you realize that you weren't in your bed in your room... but rather the infirmary. Your body was bandaged all over and the memories of what happened in the forest returned to you. The team must of got to you in time before you completely vanished from existence... But what of Sayo then?

♡  Your body jolted up against the pain that was attempting to hold you down. Anxiety rushing through your veins, preparing to look sight of any clue of what happened to the small tantou after you passed out.

♡  Your search didn't last long, for the pressure on your hand slowly shifted and caused your eyes to wandered down to the boy who was clasping your hand tightly as he slumbered. A smile slowly rose itself on your face as your free hand gently stroked his hair. It seemed as he hadn't left your side since recently. It warmed your heart that a sword that often times was very antisocial treasured you so much that he didn't want to leave your side.

♡  "D-Don't leave me." A small whimper of a cry would come out as he tightened his grip on your hand. His shoulder shaking ever so lightly. The fear of losing the people he cares about haunting him even in the dream realm. The fear of his masters being killed in front of him and being stolen piecing him in his heart to leave scars to all of time.

♡  "I won't leave." You soothed, "I'm right here, Sayo. I'm so proud of you. I won't ever leave your side again. I promise you. Now rest well, dear. You needn't worry any longer. I swear to you for all eternity, I will remain right here." A small smile will be barely visible as he leans into your hand and his body slowly calms down before he find a peaceful sleep at last.

[buttsmasher]

You’re Not Safe Here

Warnings/Tags: Death by Orgasm, Teasing, Straight to Gay, Gay Anal, Male Succubus, Public Sex

[Want to read this with the reference picture? Head on over to NewTumbl using this link]

You’re sitting around bored at your apartment watching another dumb YouTube video online when you finally get the inspiration to do your college assignment. Grabbing your camera gear and car keys, you jump into your car and head to Fountain Park to get shots of the sunset. You’ve always thought the sunset looked prettiest here and you figure it’s probably the best spot around town to get the pictures.

 You pull your shitty car into the empty spot and notice that there’s barely anyone around. Just two other cars are in the parking lot but you don’t see them around. You assume they're probably walking around the trail like all the locals do. You get out of your car, pick up your camera bag and start to head towards the spot you know the sunset always looks the best at. 

 As you walk you pass a sign that in big bold letters say: FOR YOUR SAFETY, DO NOT STAY OUT PAST SUNSET. Sadowski county is not responsible for any accidents that may occur.  You ignore the sign knowing this is the one place that you’ll get those shots.

 You make it to the clearing and you stare in awe of the beautiful scene in front of you. You quickly assemble your camera, adjust some settings and take multiple pictures of the beautiful sky. The sky is purple and orange and you turn slightly to take pictures of the sky when you nearly bump into a guy.

 “Oh sorry man.” You say pulling your camera down to see a young blonde haired man with a ball cap. 

 “You know you shouldn’t be here late at night.” You don’t know why but he seems familiar. Maybe he goes to the same college as you. 

 “I think I’ll be fine.” You snark as you raise your camera again to peer through the viewfinder. 

 “Yeah, you’d think that.” The light giggle grabs your attention and you lower your camera again. “There’s demons in this park that come out at night. If you’re not careful, they’ll take your soul.” His voice gives you slight chills, but demons, seriously?

 “Is that so?” You say unamused. “Well, the sun is still visible, so I’ll probably be fine.” His smile shows a bit too much teeth for your liking.

 “Sure, give it 15 minutes. You’ll wish you took my advice.” He gives you a wink before walking away, heading towards the direction of the parking lot. You take a picture of his back as he’s walking away.

 “What a creep.” You mumble to yourself. “You shouldn’t be here late at night.” You mime as you go back to taking photos of the wildflowers, trees, and the sunset. Before long you notice that the sun has officially set and it’s getting dark. You decide you’ll try to get a few shots of the moon before you go, but unfortunately, it’s being blocked by large clouds.

 You take a look at your Fitbit watch before deciding you’ll head out since there’s much else you can do here. You take apart your camera, putting it safely back into your bag. “Run.” Someone whispers in your ear. You quickly turn around expecting to see someone next to you, but no one is there.

 “Been smoking too much weed.” You rub your forehead and start to head back to your car. As you’re walking you notice the other two cars that were there before are now gone and only your 90’s Honda remains. Someone out of the corner of your eye catches your attention and you turn to see a figure walk behind the restroom building. You figure it’s a ranger locking up the restrooms for the night and you run over to take a piss before he closes.

 As you get to the door of the building, you hear giggling behind you. “Hello?” You say turning your head to look behind you. “Is someone there?” You listen, but there isn’t a response, just the wind blowing. You’re thoroughly creeped out but you rush into the restroom to do your business all the same.

 You walk past the mirror and notice that your shirt is slightly ripped. You loudly huff, annoyed, and you go to the urinal to take a piss. You hear scratching, but you pawn it off as the trees rustling against the building. 

 When you go to wash your hands however, you see someone has written in, what looks to be dripping blood red letters. You’re Not Safe Here. You use your index finger to touch it and it feels like it was just written. “What the fuck?” Confused, you begin to exit the bathroom. You stop in place to ponder whether that warning was there when you entered the bathroom or not.

 You turn back around and find that the warning is gone, instead replaced with a poster. You immediately walk back so you can read the poster. What you see is unexpected.

 A missing poster, with the young guy you saw earlier has replaced the warning. Nehemiah Wyatt - Missing. It says he went missing five years ago at the age of 18. Last seen in the park that you’re in right now. “Hello?” You look around the bathroom again but don’t see anyone and all the stalls are open. Underneath the poster it says, They Got Him in the blood red letters. 

 You decide that this is a little too creepy for you and you’re going to head for your car and get the fuck out of here. You shoulder your camera gear and walk quickly out of the restroom where you bump right into Nehemiah. You can’t help the yelp that escapes your lips. “Fuck man, you scared the shit outta me.” You huff. 

 “People say I do that.” He puts his hand on your shoulder. 

 “Uh,” You glance at his hand. “You know you’re missing right?” Your eyes meet his, and you swear for a second his eyes were pure black. 

 “Yeah, but I think you found me.” He moves his hand sensually down your chest. 

 You clear your throat and pointedly step away from him. “Well, uhm, you should probably tell the cops or someone you’re okay.” You walk past him and you readjust your camera bag. You look over your shoulder to make sure he’s not following you, but he’s not there anymore. You reason he probably just went into the restroom. When you turn around again, he’s right in your face.

 “Fuck!” You exclaim as you jump backwards. 

 “Where you going so fast?” He grabs your arm and moves your hand so it’s holding onto his ass. “How about we have some fun.”

 “You know, uhm,” You take a gulp. “I’m good. I’m just going to head home.” Nehemiah keeps your hand on his ass. 

 “You sure? I hear I’m a good fuck.” The way he licks his lips reminds you of someone just about to eat a meal. 

 “Yeah, totally, I’m good. I’m straight dude.” He just giggles.

 “You’re straight huh?” His hand cups your dick. “You might want to tell that to your dick.” You look down and he’s right, to your surprise you’re sporting a hard on. 

 “What the…” Nehemiah uses the palm of his hand to push your face back up so you’re looking at each other. He leans in and starts kissing you nice and slow. Your eyes flutter closed as you get into the makeout session. Your hand squeezing his nice ass. You can’t lie, it’s not a bad kiss, probably one of the best you’ve ever had. Your eyes widen immediately when you remember that his other hand is stroking your hard cock in the very public park. 

 You quickly push him away. “What the fuck are you doing? We could get arrested!” He just giggles.

 “I don’t mind. Come on, don’t you want some of this?” His lips hover next to your ear, making you shutter. You don’t react quick enough so he drops to his knees in front of you and mouths at the outline of your cock. The friction feels great and your thoughts get jumbled. Then you remember, you’re straight and this is extremely illegal. You pull yourself away again.

 “That’s not the-I do not-I am straight.” You struggle to get out a coherent sentence. He licks his lips again as he stands back up. He grabs your arm again but you pull away. “Don’t touch me man.” He just gives you a cocky smirk and you push your way past him.

 You quickly walk towards your car only to see a naked Nehemiah sitting on the hood of your car. You turn around to see that he’s gone from where he just was. “Tha-that’s not possible.” You say confused as you slowly turn back to look at your car. 

 Nehemiah is now putting on a show by bending over your car and shaking his hairless ass. Your mind gets overwhelmed again, this time by thoughts of you impaling him with your fat cock. “I’m straight. I’m straight. I’m straight.” You tell yourself over and over. 

 “Come on big boy, let me feel your fat cock in me.” He makes it a point by sliding two of his fingers into his hole without any resistance. The moans that he lets out are so intoxicating that you feel yourself take a step forward. “I’m so horny,” You can hear him moaning lewdly. “If only there was a straight hunk to come fuck me.” Another step forward.

 “Fuck.” You say to yourself as you feel your dick pulsing in your jeans. 

 “Come on big boy, give me a ride, show me how good of a fuck you are.” You feel a bit warm and you take a few more steps closer. Your hands move down to the fly of your jeans and you start to unzip. “That’s it, come over here and fuck me daddy.” He pulls his fingers out of his ass and instead uses his hands to pull his asscheeks apart giving you a perfect view of his hole. 

 Your mind goes blank with the only thought of, Need to fuck now. You fish your fat dick out and stroke it giving him a show. “Just a little closer.” You close the distance between the two of you and easily slide your fat dick inside of his tight hole. “There you go.” He moans as he bottom out again his ass. 

 “So tight.” You pant. 

 “Yeah? You like that?” He pulls himself off your dick before pushing his ass back against your balls. 

 “Mhm.” Is all you can manage to get out. 

 “Better than any pussy you’ve ever fucked?” His hole flexes around your cock making you shiver.

 “So much...better.” You slowly thrust in and out, amazed by how good this is feeling. 

 “I thought so.” He laughs below you. “Can’t wait to feel you load my ass up.”

 “Fuuck.” You can’t even get a coherent thought out. Just in and out, in and out. The only thing you can think of is how perfect his ass is. “You’re so tight baby.” 

 “I know daddy.” He keeps eagerly pushing back against you every time you thrust back in. You’re starting to speed up when he pushes you off him.

 “Baby…” You moan as the cold air blows against your dick.

 Nehemiah turns around and grabs you to pull you into a passionate kiss. He's moaning against your lips and pulls you down so he’s laying on the front of your car.

 You lay on top of him continuing to hungrily kiss him, your dick is leaking precum like a faucet. He wraps his legs around you and uses his flexible frame to pull you tightly against him. Your dick slaps against his dick and the friction makes you moan. “You like that daddy?” He says seductively against your lips and all you can do is nod your head. “Good boy.” One of his free hands reaches down and lightly carrasses and strokes your hard cock.

 He adjusts your cock so it’s pressing against his hole and you can’t stop yourself from pushing in. Your whole body shakes as you enter his warmth again. There’s nothing you’ve ever felt that can compare to his tightness. “Ooh daddy, you’re so big.” He throws his head back against your car as you hump away against his tight ass. You have no problem bottoming out into him again.

 The moans he’s making under you are so lewd it makes you thrust harder and faster. “Yeah right there, hit there again daddy.” You do as he says and thrust hard against the same spot making him moan ever louder.

 “You like that?” You say out of breath. “You like it when daddy fills you up?” Nehemiah smiles underneath you.

 “Yeah fill me up daddy, fuck my ass, feed my greedy ass.” You barely miss his eyes turning black as you lean down and lock lips again. You can feel your humps getting more erratic and you know you’re not going to make it much longer. “Daddy, I need your cum.” He moans against your lips.

 “You want my cum?” You whisper breathlessly. 

 “Mhm, I want you to cum in me.” His ass works your cock and you can feel yourself starting to get close. “I want you to fill me up so much that I’ll be leaking your cum tomorrow.”

 “Fuuck.” You moan as you feel yourself starting to tighten up. “I’m close baby. I’m going to load you up”

 “Do it. Cum in me!” He yells out and you seat yourself fully inside of him. Torrent after torrent of cum shooting out of you giving you the best orgasm you’ve ever had. You groan out as you lay your head on his shoulder. You keep shooting your load and you absentmindedly think that it probably should’ve stopped by now and your body is starting to become over sensitive. “Fuck yes, it feels so good!” Nehemiah moans out loudly. You start idly rocking your hips against him, still unsure why you haven’t stopped cumming yet. 

 And as you continue you shoot load after load into him, you start to feel weak. You look at your hand that’s on the car and notice it’s severely wrinkled. “What’s happening?” Your voice sounds foreign to you, like an old man. Your cock still getting milked by Nehemiah’s tight hole that’s flexing around your cock. 

 When you look at Nehemiah his eyes are black and he’s giving you the cockiest grin you’ve ever seen and you watch as your hand begins to turn to dust. “Thanks for the meal daddy.” He rubs his cum filled stomach. “Best meal of 2021.So far.” He laughs and you scream in horror as you turn to dust. 

 “Can’t say I didn’t warn you.” Is the last thing that you hear as you disappear forever. 

[illogicalpunkwrites]

Drive Me Crazy

Hi everyone! So this is a part 2 to The Cave (click the link to read!) that someone asked about (for some reason it won’t let me tag you but I’ll message you!). Thank you so much for reading!

Pairings: Leonard McCoy X Kirk!Reader

Rating: T

Words: 2.1K

Warnings: Angst, injury, comfort, confessions, cursing

Tagss; @theweepingvulcan91 @bloodangelballerina

You could tell that Len was tense as you and Jim sat on biobeds. You clutched at your side that was still bleeding, spreading pain throughout your entire body. You’d gotten hit by a rival tribe arrow trying to take over a peaceful settlement between the main tribe on the planet and Starfleet studying the flora for medicinal properties. Jim suffered from a sprained ankle that got twisted in a trap set, something he know you’d never let him live down.

It all happened so fast and you didn’t have any time to think, just act. Even with an arrow impaled in you, you had to grab the explosive they made so it wouldn’t kill anymore of the villagers or other Starfleet members. You grabbed the device and threw it just in time so it hit the enemy. It made them retreat and it also made you pass out.

You hissed and Len pressed down on your wound before he quickly hit you with a hypospray, the whispering sound being one that you had been used to for quite some time. He quickly got to work as Christine ran vitals on Jim. 

“Bones, what’s wrong?’ Jim asked and you thought Len’s forehead was going to pop out of his head. It reminded you of when the two of you refused to get along.

“Nothing.” He got to work suturing you up, making you lay down. It had barely pierced your large intestine but your blood rushing with the adrenaline made you bleed out faster back on the planet. 

“Len, I’m fine.”

“The hell you are.” 

Christine and Jim looked at each other as she put away her tricorder and turned off the machine behind him.

“Just rest for a few days, Captain. Keep your ankle elevated and you’ll be fine.” She replied and he nodded. 

“Bones, we had everything under-”

“Don’t you are say you had everything under control, Jim! She could’ve died! She went after a live explosive!”  Leonard snapped. 

“I knew what I was-”

“She did what she had to do to protect the village! I was out for the count and she stepped up!” Jim replied.

“She should’ve-”

“Hey! I’m right here so talk to me!” You snapped. “I did what I had to do, McCoy! If I hadn’t then the entire team would be dead! I did what I was supposed to do, I did my goddamn job. Now it’s yours to patch me up.” That reminded him of an argument you two had not too long ago. With a grumble under his breath he quickly finished you up.

“You’ll be fine soon. Take it easy if that’s somewhere in your job description.” He walked out of the room to care for other patients on the other side and you and Jim looked at each other. 

“Alright, we’ve been in scraps like this before but he’s never acted like this.”

“I know. I think it’s been a stressful day for everybody.” Christine sighed and went ahead trying to sterilize some equipment. 

“That’s for sure. Good work down there but next time we need to be more careful.” You laughed but winced and grabbed at your side.

“Sure, we’ve been saying that since we were kids. Go get some rest.” He walked out of medbay as you put your regulation uniform back on to get back to your room.

“He was upset, y’know.” Christine said, making you spin around. “You scared him when they told him you were unresponsive. He thought you had died, Commander. After he found out what you did and that you had a pulse, that’s when he got angry.”

“He’s always angry.”

“Not with you anymore. I know he enjoys the time you spend together after the cave incident.” You looked down at your boots pensively. Your job was dangerous, what you did was dangerous, but it ultimately ended the fight and saved everyone that you were trying to protect. But maybe you had been too harsh on Leonard. However, it wasn’t helping that he was talking to Jim about you rather than talking to you directly. It made you feel like a child again, like Jim was supposed to be your keeper. “Just take some time to heal. Maybe while you’re doing that you can talk to Dr. McCoy.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

XXXXXX

You sighed down at your PADD as you wrote the report for the previous day. After being stitched up, you pretty much all but passed out on your bunk. When you came back to reality, you knew that talking to Leonard had to be on your agenda but You couldn’t bring yourself to him. It was weird though. You usually talked every day but it had been over 24 hours at this point. 

Taking one last sip of your liquor, you put on some flats and slipped out of your room. His room wasn’t too far away, but you also knew that he stayed in his office when he was stressed so he might not be there. You gave a soft knock on the door and you had wished you put on some pants instead of shorts with your baggy academy crewneck. 

He opened the door but he didn’t look excited to see you like every other time you would visit. 

“Hey, can I come in?” He moved out of the way for you and closed the door. “Can we talk?”

“Are you going to apologize?” You sighed and he took a sip of his bourbon. “Then there’s nothing to talk about.”

“Leonard, what do you want me to do?” You sat down in one of his chairs as he walked to the opposite side of the room.

“I just told you.”

“If I hadn’t done what I did then everyone would be hurt or dead! I’m sorry that I snapped at you. I shouldn’t have done that. But I’m not going to apologize for doing what I was trained to do.”

“To kill yourself? That’s what they trained you to do?” You felt your blood boiling over and you wish he would just understand. 

“To maximize the probability of my team living is what I was trained to do, Len!” You flinched when his glass harshly hit his desk as he spun to face you.

“Do you have any regard for yourself whatsoever? Do you ever think about your own well-being? I’ve said it  before and I’ll say it again, you get injured more than anyone on this damn ship! Do you even care about what happens to you?”

“Of course I do but one life is not as important as twenty others!” His brows furrowed at you. 

“What?”

“My life isn’t as important as-”

“WELL IT’S IMPORTANT TO ME!” He yelled and your eyes widened. He breathed out slowly and sat down at the foot of his bed. “It’s important to me. When they told me you were unresponsive, bleeding out...I didn’t know what to do with myself. I kept thinking about all the things that we hadn’t done yet, all the things I hadn’t told you, never gotten the chance to tell you. All the things you would have never known.” You were quiet, sheepish even. You searched around for the right words to say but you thought they might never come. He had his face buried in his hands, no doubt embarrassed by his outburst.

“My job is dangerous, Len. It’s hard knowing every time that I leave this ship it could by my last time seeing everybody. But I do it because I want to keep everyone else safe.”

“That doesn’t always have to come at the cost of you.” He replied and you nodded. 

“It often does. It kills me every time someone on my team gets hurt or dies. I always think about what I could’ve done or...” You shook your head and sat down next to him. “The worst times are when I’m away from the ship and...something happens when I’m not here but you are.” He lifted his head from his hands to look at you but you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him. “If something were to happen to you and I wasn’t there I don’t know what I would do. It fucking kills me thinking about that. I know that I need to be more careful and I’m sorry for scaring you. I’m just tired of being scared, of feeling guilt. But now I know I’m just making everyone else feel scared.” 

“I forget how many people you’ve lost on this mission.”

“And I forget how often you have too.” You were both silent but the room didn’t have the same energy. Tense? Yes. Anger? Not anymore. 

“I just...I can’t imagine not seeing you every day. You’re always on my mind and you drive me crazy. You’ve driven me crazy since the day you stepped aboard with your stubbornness and quick one liners.”

“Pot calling kettle black.” You sniffed and he chuffed. 

“But you’re courageous, funny, thoughtful. I’ve never met a person as caring as you. Even though that often comes out as suicide missions. I...darlin’ I can’t let anything happen to you.” He cupped your cheek and forced you to look at him. “You mean...you are...I’m not good at this shit. I haven’t done it in a while.” You smiled softly and leaned into his hand. 

“I promise I’ll be more careful.”

“That’s all I’m asking.” He replied.

“You’re not too bad yourself, y’know? Yeah you’re stubborn and sarcastic but you care. You’re an amazing doctor, strong-willed, funny, have excellent taste in liquor. I know it’s pathetic but I hated that we didn’t talk at all yesterday. I missed seeing your handsome face.” He laughed and got a smug grin. 

“Handsome, huh?” You rolled your eyes. “Lemme try this again and I hope this is what you’re trying to say too. I like you, a lot. Honestly I liked you even when I hated you. I want to be with you so you can drive me crazy all the time.”

You swore your breathing stopped but your heart kept beating rapidly. You felt like you might implode or pop your sutures. You couldn’t respond with words, so you did the next best thing.

You threw yourself at him, sutures be damned. You arms wrapped around his neck as you pressed your lips against his, His lips were a little chapped and still had the taste of the bourbon he was drinking but he was soon kissing you back with the same intensity. His fingers threaded through your hair as his other hand went to your lower back, sliding a little underneath you crewneck to caress the skin there. Even though you initiated it, you were tense but you soon melted against him.  

“Len...”

“I shoulda said it sooner, before I thought you were dead.” You rested against him, your head against his chest to feel his heartbeat. 

“I...Len I’m so sorry. I just want to do my best.”

“And as long as you do your best to stay alive, that’s all I need.” He replied, his fingers digging into the small of your back. You couldn’t fight back the tears in your eyes anymore and a few dripped down. 

“I love you, Leonard McCoy.” 

Now it was his turn for his breathing to stop. His grip tightened on you and his eyes closed. He’d been wanting to hear that for so long. 

“I feel like I have for a long time, even when I was supposed to hate you. I mean, you’re Jim’s best friend.” He chuckled against you.

“A forbidden fruit?” Somewhere he thought that Christine’s head was probably exploding.

“In a sense.” You smiled. “But I can’t...I can’t do this anymore. I can’t pretend that I don’t feel this way. When I woke up today in medbay all I could think about was you, our nights together, the cave. I promise I’ll be better, I’ll do better to take care of myself. Even if you can’t say it back, I’ll do better because I know what I’ve caused you to feel. What I’ve caused others to feel.”

“I love you too, darlin’. Have for a while.” You smiled and looked up at him, making him lean down and give you another kiss.  He wiped away the tears silently rolling down your cheeks. “I’ll always be there to patch you up, to do my job. But just make it less of a habit.” You nodded and rested your forehead against his. 

“Is it alright if I stay the night?”

“Your sutures-”

“Leonard McCoy! I’m a lady! I simply want to spend time with you and fall asleep in your incredibly comfortable bed.” You gasped mockingly, making him chuckle. “I just need to be with you right now.” He maneuvered you both so you were comfortably on the bed and under the covers, Your head was still on his warm chest and you looked out at the small window he had at the stars. You remembered how in the cave you told him you didn’t see yourself settling down. Well perhaps it was written in the stars that it would actually happen with the man you once detested. 

“So, when are we going to tell Jim?”

“Um...”

(Part 3 of Jim finding out and the ensuing chaos?)

[jeonqquk]

tattooing | jjh

Pairing- Jaehyun X Reader

Genre/ Tags- fluff, crack, bi jaehyun, lucas royally fucks up, tattooing

Age rating- 13+

Word count- 2.6k words

Summary- Tattooing doesn’t go as planned.

POV- Third person

Your whining wasn’t gonna get you anywhere, you were well aware of the fact. But you supposed that you might as well give it a shot. The ‘it’ here being the fact that you really wanted Jaehyun to get a tattoo. It wasn’t that you wanted to somehow blackmail Jae into getting a tattoo. Oh god, no. You’d never want that. It was just that you had always been fond of tattoos, the meaningful ones, not the totally unnecessary, really weird looking, out of the world ones. Jaehyun with a tattoo would be fucking hot though, that was just a plus point- not the main reason as to why you wanted him to get one. 

You were thinking a sweet quote or something, but that would only be possible of he was willing to get one.

“Jae, baby, what do you think about getting a tattoo?” your boyfriend of 3 years sighs, rubbing his hand on your knee that had been placed on his thigh. “I don’t know..maybe later. Why are you so intent on me getting a tattoo though?” he wiggles his eyebrows, suggestively or whatever, and you look at him in confusion, trying your level best to stop the blood threatening to creep up your cheeks. You clear your throat and reply simply “I feel like a tattoo would be beautiful. Just permanently inked onto your skin. It should be something purposeful though. I don’t want you going bald and tattooing a zipper on your scalp.” 

A snort is heard from him “Don’t worry, I’m not going bald. Although it’s a very tempting idea.” Rolling your eyes at his lame comment, you sit up and move over to cuddle closer to him on the couch. He wraps his left arm around you “Why don’t you get a tatto Y/n?” he questions and you look up at him in mild shock. Well, you could get a tattoo. You are of legal age and stuff but the thought had never crossed your mind. You don’t know why.

“....I could...” Jaehyun smiles, his dimples popping out and you can’t help but mirror the sweet action. “So why don’t you? We’re not even doing anything and I know for a fact that you have a lot of designs saved on your Pinterest board. Even if they were for me, you can try finding one that suits you too.”

Suddenly feeling giddy, you quickly grab your phone from the coffee table and unlock it, clicking on the app you needed. As you find the board, you see that you’ve gained 18 followers in the time span of 2 weeks. Huh.

As you scroll through the pins of small intricate designs that could be engraved onto a finger or hand, Jaehyun points out one that looked like watercolour art and was in the form of a small flower with red petals. It did look quite cute, to be honest. “Hmm, this does look nice. Won’t it look good on my collarbone?” Jaehyun nods in agreement “I was thinking that too.” Smiling up at him, you look into his eyes “Well, should I get this?” Your boyfriend chuckles at your excitement, and pats your head in adoration. “I know that you’re excited, sweetie. But don’t you wanna try looking at other designs before deciding?” Humming, you scroll a bit more as Jaehyun reads a novel. But you don’t find anything that captures your attention a lot. Sure the sweet quotes, couple tattoos and nature-related  designs are great ideas for a tattoo but you were set on the one with the rose.

Jaehyun coos when you tell him that, squishing your cheeks and telling you that the two of you could go to a shop tomorrow and get design inked onto your collarbone forever. 

It’s 9:28 am when you wake up from your slumber and turn to give Jaehyun who looks like he had also woken up just a few minutes ago a peck on his lips. His dimples are visible as he smiles and greets you. The two of you get up and freshen up before you’re sitting at the dining table to eat blueberry pancakes. 

The clock shows that it’s 10:30 am by the time you two leave the house and head for the tattoo store you had researched last night. It takes 15 minutes to reach said shop and Jaehyun parks the car before looking at you with concern evident on his face. “Y/n, you are sure about this right?” Smiling fondly at his worry, you keep your hand on his cheek “I’m sure Jae. Don’t worry.” One kiss is enough to relax him and you pull away before you get too carried away and end up dirtying his car again. Oops.

You enter the cosy shop hand-in-hand with Jaehyun and see someone sitting at the reception wearing an oversized blue shirt. Definitely not the vibes you had expected to get from a fucking tattoo parlour but oh well. You had expected everyone to be intimidating and were ready to hide behind Jaehyun as soon as you entered. But it seems as if that wasn’t happening because all you had deciphered from the shop called Inkphoric was that it was built in a way not to scare the people who had gathered the courage to even stop foot in it. 

The receptionist, she said her name was Nara, leads you both to a room in a corridor. Your hands are sweaty and thankfully she allows Jaehyun to go inside as well. When you’re seated on the chair comfortably, Jaehyun grabs a stool to sit beside you and you wait for the tattoo artist. The wait isn’t long because a minute later, a man who looks about your age is walking towards you all. His all black get-up matches the tattoos littering his arms and he also seems to have a piercing in his right ear, a silver dangling. 

“Hello, I’m Lucas. I’ll be tattooing…” he introduces himself and looks between the two of you, silently asking which one of you he would be tattooing. Honestly, you would have expected him to at least  know who he would be drawing on but quickly brush the thought off as you greet him, telling him that you would be the one getting the art onto her skin. He smiles cutely and nods, and you look at Jaehyun, his comforting smile relaxing your tense body. 

Nara talks to Lucas for a minute or so and then walks off, shooting you an encouraging smile before closing the door behind her. 

“So what is it that I’ll be tattooing onto you, ma’am?” Lucas speaks and you show him the image of the flower. Jaehyun is holding your left hand in his, the warmth seeping throughout your entire body and you’re grateful for Jae’s beautiful ability of being able to calm you down in only a matter of seconds- no matter how serious the situation would be. 

“Oh, that’s very pretty.” “Thank you.” you smile at him, and he prepares his stuff. You’re pulling down the hem of your shirt slightly and exposing part of your left collarbone, where you want your collarbone. 

Lucas says that he’s tracing the design out first and you wait patiently. 

“Now, don’t be scared. It’s gonna hurt at first, especially at the bone but it will soon go away. You can hold your boyfriend’s hand.” he instructs and gives you an encouraging look as Jaehyun moves to your  right to give Lucas space, his large hand completely enclosing yours. 

“Okay, here goes…” the sound of the gun whirring to life fills the room that has tattoo designs filling the wall. 

“Fuck!” your voice pierces through the air and you jolt from the sudden pain. It felt as if someone was impaling you with a sword- which was partly true- but they were doing it continuously. Jaehyun is shocked from your sudden movement and struggles to catch you in his arms. Lucas quickly tears the gun away from your neck and you whimper out, the pain searing through your entire being and Jaehyun tries shushing you, his attempts all going in vain. 

Shitshitshit. This is torture. It’s only the first touch of the needle against your skin and you’re already this close to crying. How the fuck do people get those huge ass tattoos?! Trying your best to calm down and ignore the pain spreading throughout your entire being, you squeeze Jaehyun’s hand hard enough for it to pain but you don’t really care at this point, the throbbing of your collarbone enough to send you flying. He’s stood up from the stool by now, standing behind you.

“Okay..sorry sorry, you can continue.” you whisper out and clamp your lips shut so as to not let out any more weird noises. You’re sweating by the time Lucas gets the gun closer to you and bite your tongue hard enough to draw blood when the feeling of the needle pressing against your skin fills you up again.

Holy heck, I can’t do this. 

Your face is an accurate representation of agony, your entire body tensing as Lucas tattoos your collarbone with his long hair slightly brushing against your neck. You try leaning your head back and lean against Jaehyun. He’s whispering soft comforting words as countless profanities leave your mouth and you feel sad for Lucas, having to hear the shit you were spewing. 

“It’s alright, baby. Just think about other things, happy things.” your boyfriend pecks your cheek and hugs you lightly, trying not to disturb Lucas.

Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale inh-

“I think I just popped a boner.”

You gasp. Lucas chokes. He moves. You shriek.

“Ah, shit!” the gun’s needle scraped against your skin, it was all so sudden. The pain suddenly shoots throughout your entire body, tears filling your eyes. Nononono. 

“Jesus! It’s paining too much!” you’re sobbing by now, Lucas is frantic and Jaehyun..well..he is burning. He’s too busy regretting all his choices to even notice what’s happening around him. Jaehyun bends down to fix his problem and emerges 5 minutes later, when you’re still twisting in torment. Everything is red, your lip being abused by your teeth in order to calm down.

“Y/n! Ma’am! I’m so sorry! Shit, no!” Lucas apologises and sprints over to get a cloth to wipe something you feel trickling down your chest now. Blood. You’re bleeding. 

Writhing in agony in your seat, you clench your hands as if that would somehow reduce the sting, and pant, trying to relax. Your eyes are widened at an attempt of keeping it all in but the throbbing just doesn’t seem to dissipate.

Oh God…

Lucas is now carefully dabbing at the source of blood with panic written clearly all on his face. You look at Jaehyun through the ache to see that he is now coming back to reality and upon seeing your state, a gasp tears his throat and he’s looking at you with his eyes widened. 

The distress prevents you from speaking properly but you manage to call out, “J-Jaehy..Jaehyun.” Said man is desperately looking between your blood gushing out and your face twisted in discomfort. He figures it out and as soon as he does, takes your whimpering form into his, murmuring endless apologies and if you could, you would stop him from saying that but the sting is still there, only lessening a tad bit.

It’s hell, trying to clean the blood away and getting it sorted out. You cried a bit during the process as well but you were perfectly entitled to do that, the gun had pierced your skin quite deep when Lucas had jolted upon hearing what Jae suddenly said. 

30 minutes later, you’re hiccupping slightly and trying to breathe normally after the mad incident. Surprisingly, no one had come in during that time and you were thankful for that, not having wanted anybody to see the mess that had been caused because of Jaehyun’s unexpected confession. Speaking of which, you wince and turn around to look at him and when his eyes meet yours, ask him what he meant “What was that about you popping a boner?” the incredulity just hit you now and you wait for his response impatiently.

“Nothing babe...just forget it. I’m so sorry for saying it so randomly, though. I should’ve thought before speaking. I’m so careless.” the look on his face melts  and you are about to pull him into your chest when you realise that you can’t.

The pain has subsided by now, it’s bearable and you turn to look at Lucas who- when he catches your gaze- immediately walks over to you and starts speaking. “Ma’am, I’m so sorry! That was so sudden and I messed up your tattoo. It’s all my fault, please forgive me if possible.” he looks scared, and you understand why. He probably thinks you’ll sue him or something but you weren’t planning on doing anything of the sort. “It’s alright Lucas. I’m also not gonna tell anyone. We’ll just tell everyone that as soon as the gun touched me, I chickened out and told you to stop.” you keep your hand on his head that’s bowed and he looks up. There are tears brimming his eyes and you don’t know if it’s out of fear or the fact that he genuinely feels terrible for what he did. It really wasn’t his fault anywhere though. You didn’t understand why he was so stressed. 

“I’m sorry Lucas, I just said something stupid without even thinking before. You don’t need to take nay of the blame.” Jaehyun’s voice fills the room and Lucas’ features relax a little before he smiles forcefully. “Well, if your cuts get better, then maybe I can continue the design?” he jokes and you laugh along, knowing all too well that you wouldn’t be coming here again. Your first tattoo and this had happened.

“So do you wanna tell me about that boner-popping now? Lucas isn’t even here.” you’re sitting at the dining table, having just finished your dinner with empty bowls of pasta in front of each of you. Jaehyun shifts slightly in his seat and you wonder if you made him uncomfortable, although you don’t understand why- the reason couldn’t have been that  bad. As soon as you start to backtrack, Jaehyun’s voice is heard.

“Well..just..you know when you were getting the tattoo?” you nod slightly “Lucas was just, his black clothes..and he was bending over and I don’t know. You were whimpering..” “So the scene was too hot and you popped a boner?” you complete his sentence and he meekly nods before you’re howling with laughter, almost falling iff the chair and forgetting about the pain around your collarbone. The bisexual in Jaehyun was showing and he was afraid to admit it, you don’t now why. He had told you about this when you started dating, and you were totally fine with  it, because you knew that he wouldn’t cheat on you. 

“Hey..” your boyfriend half-heartedly attempts to stop you but you’re too far gone to realise that he may be feeling bad. When your laughing fit is over, though, you look at him for any trace of sadness but are relieved to see that he’s only blushing lightly, his dimples showing when he smiles. 

“So, do you wanna get a  tattoo now?” the answer is obvious, given the fact that today did not go as planned. You’re surprised when he answers.

“I don’t think so. My body is a shrine and a tattoo will take away its chastity.”

“Shrine indeed.”

Ty for reading! Yes lmao ik the ending is weird asf, as is the entire story, but nvm

Feedback is always appreciated!

this was supposed to be a drabble for jae’s birthday 😭excuse the typos they’re terrible and i’m literally the most impatient living being you’ll ever encounter

also, the shop name lmao i just got it from google- not creative i know

Tagging: @neoculturedtrash , @jeongjeffrey , @orange-lemon-cross , @nanasimp , @bluejaem​

[skellizo]

MOON KNIGHT EP 2 LIVE BLOGGING

Spoilers below read more

CAN STEVEN PLEASE GET A BREAK

SECURITY GUY I FOR SURE HOPE YOU CAN KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT AND DELETE THOSE TAPES

OH DAMN YUP THAT IS MARC

Eyyyyy no charges for our boy we love when something good happens for once

A struggle…you can certainly describe it that way

Doctors huh, I know that won’t go well

LET HIM KEEP HIS GOD DAMN NAME TAG

DAMN IT

Hey Crawley good to see you back thanks for being thee supportive shoulder Steven needs rn

….oh wow that went better than expected

IT’S THAT CORRIDOR FROM THE TRAILERS

Eyyy new qr code :)

HE LIVED IN A STORAGE UNIT?!

Yup that’s a gun

Love how Steven picks it up like a dead animal

PASSPORT :D

Scarab….HOLY SHIT IT CAN FLY

Well hello there Marc

Yeah Marc did you really think he would just go to sleep

Thanks Marc for looking sorry

Steven pretty sure you can’t get hallucinations from eating a piece of steak as a vegan though I’m no expert so what do I know

Panic attack??

Marc…this went really bad I just

OH THAT’S KHONSHU BABY

Yeah screaming and crying same

LAYLA HEY MY GIRL

Kidnapped again??

WIFE?!?

WIFE

WIFE?!

GUS 2.0 HE IS STILL ALIVE :D

NOOO THEIR MUM IS ALIVE BUT SHE WANTS NOTHING TO DO WITH THEM GOD DAMN IT

Oh Stevens falling

OH WAIT THEY WERE ABOUT TO DIVORCE

(Hey Layla I’m free on saturday)

Someone needs to make this shot into a “Live Marc reaction” image

Marc is trying his best right now but failing miserably

THE SCARAB WHAT??

OH MAN STEVEN YOU ARE REALLY IN IT NOW

NOW THE POLICE?? SECURITY DUDE DID YOU SNITCH?

LAYLA GOOD JOB

NOT THE PASSPORT

SAY IT’S YOUR LONG LOST TWIN BROTHER

WELL THIS IS GOING HORRIBLY

This is just the continuation of Steven Grants very bad no good week

FAKE COPS

ARTHUR HARROW COULD YOU NOT SNEAK AROUND

UGH the glass sounds…

….Harrow, he doesn’t need help

He doesn’t hear/see his god anymore?? This sounds like he betrayed Ammit but…

Well this just seems lovely huh

KHONSHU IF YOU WANT STEVENS SUPPORTYOU NEED TO AT LEAST ACCEPT HIM

Temper tantrums and no respect from the other gods and banished huh

HE WAS HIS FORMER AVATAR??

WHAT

EXCUSE ME

HE WANTS TO RESURRECT AMMIT

YOU KNOW WHAT STEVEN MAYBE WE SHOULD TRY AND LEAVE

You know what all those dudes are probably just normal ass guys who know nothing about fighting

STEVEN THIS IS THE WRONG MOMENT TO TALK OUT LOUD

Steven you are kinda surrounded by a neighborhood of cultists this is the wrong moment to speak up

“I don’t want to use it” “Then don’t?”

LAYLA RUN

OH NO

MY DUDE DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO LAYLA

Nah same random extra I also wouldn’t know what the fuck to do if a dude was running my way and just went the other way suddenly

Panic attack??

Thanks for using his actual name Layla

Aww she’s apologizing

OH ONLY HE CAN SEE IT

YOOO HE DID IT

MARC WE HAVE TO FIGHT A JACKYL WE DON’T HAVE TIME TO COMPLAIN ABOUT A SUIT

JACKET OFF

sleeves up

HOLY SHIT STEVEN YOU DID IT

Nevermind you did your best

Thanks Marc

THE TRANSFORMATION THOUGH

THERE HE IS

Disney plus logo shot :)

MOON SHOTS

HOLY SHIT IT’S IMPALED

MOON KNIGHTS THEME

GOD DAMN IT HARROW HAS IT

HARROW WHAT THE HELL DUDE WAS SEEMINGLY JUST HOMELESS

Marc….

Khonshu could we maybe not use his wife (soon to be ex wife?) against him??

Wait was that Steven or maybe just maybe my boy Jake in the mirrror

Oh hell yeah I’m vibin to the credits

THAT’S WHY KHONSHU STANDS BEHIND HARROW IN THE CREDITS

[hoodedwing]

Scarred Hands

Summary: Jason helps everyone through bad days.

Characters: Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian, Bruce, Alfred

Warnings : Major Character Death mentions, breakdowns, mourning over a character, i think there’s swearing too (but all my fics would have some swear in it though)

Additional Notes: Just wanted Dick to lose his shit with Bruce I guess and Jason just tags a long and becomes good ole’ big bro

Word Count: 1,294 words

***

He can't press the button.

It sits nicely in his hand, fitted perfectly. The number pad worn with age and most likely, had seen better days. The screen cover or what was left of it was peeling at the edges.

Damian had a better phone, way better.

Why did he still hold on to this phone then? What was the attraction, the strange magic that pulled him to this  point where he his finger is still hovered over the button?

Press # for emergencies

The automated voice message said it again, familiarity burned at the edges. Obviously because Jason was the one who gave him the damn phone.

He gave it to his three other brothers too, not exactly give but rather sneak it into their pockets.

How he'd sneaked it, Damian had no clue.

He had a mission tomorrow which needed his full attention and he had spent the whole week staying up by doing research, compiling evidence and constant patrols.

He was tired, his brain felt heavy, darkness sweetly lingering at the edges. The ceiling light suddenly became brighter and he covered his eyes, with his free arm and hissed.

His hand accidentally presses the button and suddenly he hears a gruff voice, gentle in its own

"Demon spawn?"

Damian whimpers and turns on his side, taking the phone under his head and mumbles.

"Stop it."

"Well you called, what's up?"

He hears Damian sighing and trying to sleep so Jason listens silently. He didn't have to say anything. At one point, Damian really thought Jason had declined the call but his name was still on the caller ID.

Jason listened carefully on the phone, Damian's finally even breathing and soft, imperceptible snores. He almost smiles down at the phone.

"Night."

He whispered softly down the phone and cut it.

-

Tim is at Wayne Enterprises (WE)

He absolutely fucking hates it right now because a co-worker has picked out some mysterious 'flaws' and explaining to him why she thought the proposal was questionable.

He is this close to losing it while trying to tune out the woman's voice.

"This time frame is too small, I'm afraid they won't have enough time. Considering that there is a gala this evening-"

Oh fuck, there's a gala to go to tonight?

Tim almost jolts. Just to make sure he isn't hallucinating, he sneakily looks at his phone and sees a message reminding him about tonight’s Gala from Alfred.

Right on time, Alfred. Tim thought.

Tim sighs, places a hand on his head as the woman continues with her mock speech. Luckily for him, her phone rang and she left the room.

Tim slid a deadbolt into the damn door after that.

Peace

He blinks and sees the world in double and rubs his eyes again. He lies quietly on the table for awhile.

His hand was in his coast's pocket, he tried to find his phone but accidentally found the other one.

"What-"

Tim quizzically stares at it, trying to make sense of this mess. The phone was old, he knew. Less advanced equalled to less apps to contact from. These kind are favoured by mercenaries or assassins, it was easier to remove your trail, fast.

That meant only one possibility.

Jason

Tim allows a moment to appreciate Jason's skill. How he had slid it into his pocket, he didn't know and he's impressed.

He picks around the phone, trying to figure out whether it was bugged (because Jason is creative, he managed to get Tim to sleep once just by a lethal and calculated mark by a transquilizer.)

His finger accidentally presses #

"Yeah?"

Oh shit, where's the end call button?

"Tim?"

The gruff voice was coloured with a tinge of audible concern, distant sounds of grappling hooks and gunfire was heard.

"Uh-"

Tim has no idea what to say to him, that he accidentally pressed a button because he was too damn curious and could get Jason killed again because his attention is also diverted to him?

"I..I'm so sorry-"

"Bad day, Timmy?"

Okay, now he's also a mind reader. Lazarus does strange things to you.

"No"

"Liar"

He's a polygraph now? I can't believe this

"Timmy, if it's stress at work or there's dead ends, you better drag your ass to the alleyway outside. I'm there."

Tim decides that it wasn't a bad idea, what's the harm in meeting him?

Probably being stabbed by a batarang and becoming a headline Wayne Enterprises CEO found murdered by a child's toy or Timothy Jackson Drake found impaled by a strange contraption, are there aliens coming? Is this a sign?

Tim politely excuses himself and leaves the office, he exits and turns left to walk another ten minutes. People walking by gave him small smiles obviously because he's a business figure.

He walks another ten minutes and reaches the alleyway, he kicks off his pointed dress shoes and sits, resting his feet at one side.

"Those shoes sure hurt, you better buy new ones soon Timbers."

Tim stood up surprised and almost stumbled back, a pair of firm hands grasp around his waist, too tight for his good.

It leaves Tim breathless and he kneels over slightly from the sudden. Jason lifts him slowly and places him on his lap. Tim fumbles and leans his head against Jason's figure and slowly sinks in.

Into the comfort.

He doesn't know he's fallen asleep until he wakes up in his own bed with warm food beside him.

-

Dick cannot dare.

Dick is supposed to be the glue of the family, he's supposed to be the one that's keeping his shit together.

But he can't.

Bruce is fucking dead, his (adoptive) dad is dead. Gone.

And he can't even get up, he's lying on his bed, absolutely miserable, not even taking calls from Barbara.

In short, he's cut out his entire connection with the world. He's skipped patrol with Tim and Damian for a whole week, he's stopped watching his shows and eating his food.

He's tired.

He doesn't know why, all the energy is sucked out of him. He cannot seem to push himself up.

Not yet.

Until this big lump of human is outside his room and watches him lie in his thoughts. The man seemed familiar.

And he enters.

"Dickie, what the hell?"

Jason puts his hand on Dick, who's eyes are red from a recent bout of crying. He gives Dick a glass of cold water.

"Look at me."

His firm hands grip Dick's leaner muscled shoulders and he reluctantly looks. Jason could see he looks worse up close.

Breakdowns suck, a lot.

"Dick, you gotta move on. I know-"

"You don't know Bruce."

He simply states, eyes staring ahead.  He's telling the truth, or maybe not.

Jason had seen the various shades of Bruce. Caring and the next second, colder than ever. So Dick was so, so wrong about his answer.

"Hating someone doesn't mean I don't know him Dick. He meant a lot to you, I'm not invalidating your grief, I need you to grieve properly. You gotta get back someday, Blüdhaven needs some ass kicking."

Dick smiles with tear-stained cheeks and Jason hugs him suddenly, because he's been in the same position before. He's caught himself in a breakdown before but no one ever held the broken pieces while he cried himself to sleep.

He knew how Dick felt.

"Take your time Dickie, I'll take over for you for now till you're okay."

Dick smiles thinly and sits, watching Jason wear back his boots to leave through the window but not without wiping away his fingerprints.

Jason leaves quietly, hoping Dick wouldn't mind his sudden disappearance. He couldn't afford to stay for long.

There's no rest for the weary.

[ginazmemeoir]

so i was inspired by @h00man-bean and here you go with a fic about Kaz and Inej as the Devil and the Reaper.

tagging @h00man-bean @mango-pickle @carmen-riddle @the-fault-in-our-inquilab @momo-all-the-way @gopikanyari @aadyeah @reddish-green-personality @weird-u @holding-infinity-and-a-book @dragonfairy1231 @totallyforgotyouwerehere @a-dragon-under-the-stars @taareginn

I crash into consciousness. The sound of gurgling water and rustling leaves greets me as I stand up. Strange. The last time I was alive, I had arthritis and was confined to a wheelchair. All Nina could do was slow mine and Inej’s death. I remember the last breath I drew, the last thought I had, the last time I saw Inej smile. And then nothing. Just an empty void, just – not being anymore.

I look at myself, flex my toes. It appears as if death has returned my old skin back to me, but it still doesn’t look like mine. This one is clear as if it was tended to by a Grisha tailor daily, as if the man who bore it had never worked a day. I am wearing the suit I stole from Pekka Rollins, decorated with a genuine gold pin showing a crow with a lion’s head in its claws. My cane lies beside me along with my hat. Either I am in a coma and am dying a slow, painful death as many of my enemies wished, or I have woken from a dream and nothing that I know happened, never really happened. I would rather prefer the first. Then, I see Inej.

She stands there in her captain’s uniform, the teal coat Sturmhond gave her, coupled with breeches and boots. I bet her knives are still tucked there. Her skin, still the same gleaming bronze, is now wrinkle free. Her eyes are kohl rimmed, and her ink black hair spill onto her shoulders. She looks at me with confusion, her eyes searching. “Kaz?” she asks. I move toward her, and then run. Funny how a good leg is almost as useful as a grisha crafted cane.

I clasp her hands in mine, her breath caressing me. “Inej,” I whisper “What are we doing here?”

“You’re both dead actually.” says a voice behind me. I turn around to see a Fjerdan merchant approaching us. He wears a blood red coat with gold lapels. His blonde hair is slicked back, and he walks with the cool confidence of someone who just cracked a deal. The only thing differentiating him from a Kerch businessman that I once looted is that he’s surrounded by floating rocks. Inej immediately kneels beside me, and nudges me. “Sorry but I have a bad leg. Also I don’t bow to animated turkeys.” I say as I go and retrieve my cane and hat. The Fjerdan chuckles and replies in heavily accented Kerch, “I suspect that bad leg excuse is of any use to now, Kaz Brekker. Also, please get up Inej, you look extremely out of place bowing to me in a teal coat.” Inej gets up reluctantly, and when she does, she has… tears in her eyes?

“Sankt Demyan of the Rime, thank you for protecting me.” She says, and hands him one of her knives. “Ah. How poetic.” He says, and pockets the knife. That is when I realize that we, in fact are dead. And Inej’s saints, are in fact, real. Great. There goes my ten thousand kruge. Thankfully the rest of the Crows aren’t here or I would have ended up as quite literally, a bankrupt soul.

“How many times have I told you Demyan to let me welcome the visitors? You’re hardly a gracious host, let alone a good gambler,” says a Shu woman, as she walks in behind Demyan, along with a Suli girl. The Suli girl was surrounded by floating rocks as well. She looked at Inej, and smiled at her. “And now, I would like those gold buttons of yours.” Says the Shu woman.

Inej hastened to remove her own lapel, a dragon and a fox, when the woman stops her. “I’m not talking to you Wraith, I’m talking to Demyan. We had bet that Kaz Brekker would kick him in the balls when he first arrived. I however had gone for a scathing insult. So seems like I won.” She says, and takes the gold buttons that Demyan removed (albeit while grumbling) in her slender hands. “Sankta Yeryin of the Mill, and Sankta Marya of the Rock, I- it’s an honour to meet you.” says Inej, and proceeds to bow more times than she has apologized when she was alive. I am shocked to see the way these so called “saints” milk Inej’s “devotion”. She was the closest thing to a saint that people actually had down in the mortal realm, and I would rather have kicked Demyan in the balls than let Inej bow again. But I restrain myself for the sake of my jaan.

Inej gives two more knives to the women, and stands beside me. She looks like a ridiculous schoolgirl, all giddy as if she had met her favourite aunts, and I catch myself falling in love with her all over again as a dead soul. Demyan soon interrupts my thoughts with that sinuous high-pitched voice, and asks, “I see you’re unusually quite today Dirtyhands. What’s the matter?” “I’m sorry, it’s just I’m wrapping my head around the concept of not existing physically anymore. Also I’ve heard you carry your belongings with you to the afterlife, so where’s all my gold?” I reply. Yeryin chuckles, her slit eyes crinkling while Marya looks at me in disbelief. Her voice, booming like a mountain echo, repeats what she, and countless others back in the mortal world, including my wife, thought each day, “Have you no honour Kaz Brekker?” I just shrug and adjust my hat.

“Anyways, ah, back to the topic at hand.” says Demyan, as he walks towards a tree. No wait, the tree. It could easily be as tall as a mountain. Five springs gush forth from its roots, and a heart is suspended from thorns right in front of a tear in it. The heart with the thorns I remember from the most epic heist of my career, involving legends and the Ravkan monarchy. The tree I do not. Inej asks, “Mind me, O great Saint of the Dead, but could you please acquaint us with our surroundings?” Wow. That’s a lot of vocabulary from a woman whose last sentence, in my memories, is complaining how the medicine she gave me smelled like rat fart. “Oh yup that’s Djel. Or rather his ash tree. Quite popular with my countryfolk.” he says cheerfully. “And we’re here in a mountain in the Sikurzoi, in a different plane of existence. For you, are dead.” he continues, with that ridiculous smile of his. Marya then steps forward, her voice slightly less enthusiastic, giving me the feel that this is all probably quite rehearsed for a while now. “You are a long way from home my loves. Kaz Brekker, you died a natural death. Inej Ghafa, you also died a natural death. Both of you were a hundred and thirteen years old, with Inej dying within a year of your death. The form you have now, is the form you chose to be remembered as.” she says. Yeryin huffs past us, her robes billowing, and hands the buttons over to Demyan, raising up her hand to his face and showing a symbol that quite contradicts with the Saint of Hospitality. “I should have expected such from you, you merchant scum.” she says. She then turns to directly address us and says, “Enough introductions though. The real reason you’ve been brought here is for another reason entirely. You see, the souls of the dead…”

I roll my eyes as the Sankta prepares for another lecture about how our “feeble human brains can’t comprehend the world.” I regret having married Inej in this moment in the afterlife though. Dirtyhands would’ve conned them by now and found a way back to the mortal realm. Kaz Brekker on the other hand, sits on the grass like a five-year old listening a story. Inej sits beside me, her coat now lying beside her in a heap and her hair fluttering open. How I wish I could’ve seen her in the open sea like that.

“…are usually brought to the other sides of the tree.” Yeryin says, waving her hands in an elegant motion to summon up a throne made out of the river pebbles and rocks, confirming that the trio were all, in fact, Fabrikators. “There, they are all assessed in context with their deeds on earth. Everything that they’ve gone through, and everything they’ve done is all taken into account by the Saint of The Book.” She then points to a woman, invisible until this point, sitting near the tree. She bends over a desk, poring over a giant ledger and surrounded by thick books. Her thick blonde hair covered her face, her glasses perched on her wide nose, and her fair, plump skin flushed. “The three of us then decide their fate in the afterlife. Those, who we decide are ‘good’, enjoy the fruits of paradise for a while and then return to the making at the heart of this world. Those, who we deem ‘bad’, are impaled on the thorn wood until they are purged of their sins. They then bathe in one of Djel’s springs, and return back to merzost.”

“Yeah but why are you telling us all of this? We get it, we’re dead, so which way are we going?” I ask the Saints. Inej elbows me once again, scolding me with her eyes. I shrug, and stand up with my cane. “Unless you have something else to tell us, I would like to take your leave. Saints.” I start to walk, when I find myself tripping over. I right myself with my cane just in time, and see that my hands and feet are bound by vines, Demyan’s hands raised up. These saints want a taste of Dirtyhands? Fine. I will show them Dirtyhands.

I see Kaz’s demeanour change. He slips into the familiar garb of Dirtyhands, his eyes cold as flint, lips slightly pursed, standing like the King of the Barrel. I get into a fighting stance, my heavy coat no longer obstructing me. I feel the presence of my remaining knives, regretting handing over the rest. I respect my Saints, but nobody, and I repeat nobody, touches my husband and escapes alive.

Marya stands immovable, her eyes gazing at something in the distance. Yeryin clasps her hands, and states, “You came here at our wish Kaz Brekker. You leave with our wish as well. No need to reach for your knives Wraith they won’t serve you here.” I feel a tug inside me, as if someone is yanking on my leash. Before I know, I am pulled back, my breath knocked out of me, and I crash into a wooden chair. Kaz suffers a similar fate beside me, and I can see his anger barely in check. “Why are you doing this to us?” I ask Marya. She glances at me, her eyes tearful, and replies, “Because we’re tired Inej Ghafa. Because you’re now, the new gods of death.”

Great. We’re the subject of a cruel joke by the Saints and are being tortured for our sins. “We don’t want anything to do with you or your jobs. Just release us and march us over to the thorn wood, I’m ready to answer for my crimes.” “Oh you silly girl, we won’t kill our scapegoats, will we? Isn’t that right my fellow sisters?” Demyan says in his ridiculously cheerful manner. That smile takes me back to the West Stave, Heleen bartering over me with the slavers, her sinuous smile each time I resisted her. I eventually did track my slavers, although only Kaz knows of their fate, for he was the one who insisted on having them. Demyan then comes over to us, and the Saint of Death’s face becomes morose. He kneels in front of us, as if pleading with us, and says, “You see, we’re linked directly with humans and grisha. Death. Hospitality. Pathfinder. Our roles were fundamental to the balance of the world, to the smooth passage of souls and justice in the afterlife. However, seeing the Starless One return back to merzost, seeing Juris merge with the Dragonqueen, has made us realize that we thought impossible, was actually just – improbable. You would certainly know about that, wouldn’t you Dirtyhands?” Demyan glances at Kaz, his eyes moist, while Kaz looks at him unflinchingly. Weren’t the Saints destined to perform their duties? Then why are they looking for scapegoats? Demyan comes back to me, his tone rushed as he blurted out his plan. “We long to be free Inej Ghafa. We too long to return back from where we came. We too long to feel.” Yeryin and Marya then float over to us. “A Saint that dispenses justice, must have suffered injustice to be accurate in his judgements. He should be immovable, yet sensitive to the souls he receives. Kaz Brekker, you have shown us the resilience and fury of a Saint.” Yeryin says. Marya then glances at me, and begins, “Jaan, you’re one of my own people, and so I hold a special place for you. The Saint that is the Reaper, who brings over the souls of the dead, must kill without remorse. Must feel for each soul with all of her heart. She must be indiscriminate in her search.” “And you Inej Ghafa have shown us that heart.” Demyan finishes, clasping my hand. “The part is yours, should you keep it. However, remember, you must take it up with free will, for handling the deceased is a far more tedious and draining task than it sounds.”

I look back at Kaz. His eyes are focussed on the ground, his brain coming up with another wild scheme. I look at the Saints with disbelief. All this time, as I, as millions, prayed to them, honouring their martyrdoms with festivals and prayers, the Saints just longed to be human. Kaz finally speaks after what feels like an eternity. “I have a question. Are the Saints willing to answer that?” “But of course. That is the least we can do for you.” says Yeryin.

“You might’ve come across two souls in your eternal career. Jordie, and Pekka Rollins. What fate awaited them?” I ask hesitantly. I am both excited and afraid of the answer the saints hold for me. Marya looks at the Saint of the Book. She rises, and comes towards us, a small register in her hands. She hands it to Marya, and returns back, giving me a not-so subtle side look. Marya searches for the names I asked, clears her throat, and begins. “Pekka Rollins, the leader of the Dimes, a gang in the streets of Ketterdam, was impaled on the thorn wood. He was purged of all his sins, and then chose to return back to merzost. As for Jordie, your brother, he did not choose to stay for long.” I look back at Marya. “His soul… was tormented. Even though he was healed with the waters of Djel, even though we helped his soul discover his unknown gift as a Grisha Tidemaker, he kept searching this garden for you. In the end, he chose to take a single bite of Djel’s fruit, and returned back to merzost, finally at peace.”

Jordie’s fate stuns me into silence. Pekka Rollins snatched our life on Earth, but even in the gardens of paradise my brother kept searching for me. My vision blurs, my brother’s destiny opening a well of sadness in me, his peaceful return to merzost the only respite offered to him. This was the place where Jordie’s soul searched for me. Where he waited and waited for me, until he dissolved back into the heart of the world. And this is where I would choose to stay for eternity, the only place that holds my brother’s peace. I look at Marya, and nod.

Beside me, Inej grasps my hand, and smiles. She then looks down at Demyan, and says, “We will take up the mantel of your duties, O Revered Saints.” I roll my eyes. It’s as if Sturmhond’s vocabulary worms it’s way into Inej’s brain each time she talks to her saints.

The saints all look at each other, then smile and open their arms. “Our powers, are then yours, Wraith and Dirtyhands.” Golden rays, the colour of sundried wheat and barley emit from Yeryin. Ink black waves surge from Demyan while a shower of dirt erupts from Marya. The three slowly disappear, probably to a much better place. The knives Inej gave to them clatter on the ground.

Inej picks up her coat, dusts it off, and shrugs it on. She picks up her knives, touching them to her forehead, and wipes them on her sleeve. “So what do we now?” she asks me. “Well we’re here for eternity, alone, at least till you go off to bring our souls. Let’s have some fun.” I say and suggestively smirk. The Saint of the Book widens her eyes in horror as she looks at us. “Oh keep it in your pants, you perv.” I say, as I give a big shout and run towards the gentle slope along the riverbank, Inej’s soft padded boots following me, as we both tumble into each other and hurtle to the earth.

[shattered-catalyst]

OCD Subtypes for the RPC

Part 1 is here

Well well well, we are back for Part 2 of the Roleplayer’s Guide to OCD.

Fellow Ocd Folks, I see you in those tags and I'm going to do my best to ensure those obsessions are represented here- BUT understand that physically it is not going to be possible to list every single one because I am one person.  Regardless its incredibly brave of you all to rb and add things in the tags, I know its hard to talk about this shit and I see you. I see you.

Resultantly I typed this out and posted it in formatting to assist with accessibility in mind; if you cannot read it still ( I tried Im sorry!) i recommend the copy and paste method or getting the chrome extension bee-line reader.

 There will be grammatical and spelling mistakes. Im sure spacing is odd some places, but you have to understand doing this is extremely anxiety provoking for me so Im just getting it done when I can.

Remember to use your critical thinking; not everyone has the same symptoms/compulsions/triggers and all that.

OCD is fluid. Its like liquid mercury. One day its a handful of subtypes another day its another different serving.

If you are in general squicked about certain topics even by mention read ahead with your own judgement. Remember us folks that have OCD have many disturbing and distressing experiences so if you are writing a character who has OCD and you can’t read about it just don’t give them that obsessive thought/ compulsion. Make sure writing is still a safe and enjoyable hobby for yourself first and foremost.

But ethically and morally I cannot and will not leave out the more disturbing bits. You have the ability to scroll by, I and many others do not get the chance to escape triggering content that our own mind creates.

So read ahead with your best judgement or at least skip around the squicky parts and educate yourself on what OCD is so people quite using it as a Obsessive Christmas/Corgi/Cat Disorder thing. Alright? Cool beans.

Okay so you made it passed post 1 and got under the read more. Give yourself a gold star for diving into this monster of a document.

Below is a crash course it is not meant to replace actual psychoeducation, personal research, or google. Honestly most of us do our research extensively but because OCD is treated so horribly by social media, media, and society in general.

I wasn’t sure where to throw these together because the education tools to learn fully about OCD are very specialized and thus very restricted. I found that many people DO have these experiences with OCD though so I will represent them throughout. I’ll also sprinkle some of my own experiences so you can get a good reference of a person who has the disorder and not just a randomly generated person.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

So OCD is made up of Obsessions, Trigger, Intrusive thought, Misinterpretation/feared consequence,Somatic and Psychological Anxiety, and Compulsions/Rituals.

Your character may not be able to list all of these. In fact if they aren't in ERP therapy they may not be able to puzzle these things out. But YOU as the writer should know them. Your character won’t be walking around talking to just ANYONE that they have OCD. Remember a huge aspect of OCD is it’s Shame.  The disorder makes us feel intense shame regarding our intrusive thoughts, as a result OCD goes undiagnosed for years especially if it has pediatric onset.

  We won’t tell anyone what we are experiencing or why we are doing x y or z. We act like nothing is wrong because to emotionally react is to admit to yourself- and therefore the world- that you have had this intrusive thought and are therefore by virtue a horrible person.[For further information I would suggest also researching PANDAS].

It may be noticeable if your character has an intrusive thought. They may wince or grimace or roll their eyes certainly, but they won’t open up to Joe at the cafe about how their brain is constantly torturing them. I apparently have a very noticeable eye twitch.

 Depending on the nature of the intrusive thought it will get more or less of a reaction out of me. Its usually dependent on how distressing the intrusive thought is and/or if its a new one.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You see OCD doesn’t sit still. It never looks the same. You’ll have your long haul intrusive thoughts that are with you for years but then you’ll have weird ass ones that just appear and demand their voice be heard yelling about cars hitting people or squirrels getting eaten.

Some people have similar ones! So while everyone is different there will always be someone out there with an intrusive thought similar to yours.

 For instance; I bonded emotionally with a lady on reddit because we both have intrusive thoughts during storms that animals and the homeless are dying. We were both horribly relieved to find another person and also distressed that every snow or rain storm brings horrible images and whispers to your mind that while you are warm and snug in bed someone is freezing to death. And its all your fault.

Some days are better than others. As with all mental illnesses it isn’t CONSTANT ALARM BELLS. Some days it will be all alarms and other days it will be like a gentle whisper on the breeze. You can almost not notice it. Almost.

Obsessive thoughts run the gauntlet from ‘i will/could have/may/may accidentally harm etc’ something that you hold of value. This is any obsessive thought that you have: you think about repeatedly and not by choice, it is very anxiety provoking, it is unwanted, and unwelcome.

 Mine run the scale from ‘squirrel will be murdered’ to ‘being responsible for harm’.

Compulsions or ‘rituals’ are any behavior done to alleviate the anxiety from the intrusive thought and trigger object. In short, compulsions and rituals are not fun. they are absolutely not logical, and we know they are not logical but we are forced to do them. Thats why its a disorder. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To emphasize from post 1: magical thinking and the faulty link between thoughts and actions are hallmarks of OCD.  Magical thinking can be anything from contamination to if I turn around three times or stare really hard at something the bad thing wont happen. Sounds weird and is weird and we know it is thats why its a disorder and not a delusion.

The faulty belief that thought=action is the biggest hurdle it is incredibly difficult to grasp, at least for me maybe some of you that have done further ERP can attest, that the mere concept of a thought not being the same as an action is completely and totally mind blowing.

Free will? Yeah thats terrifying. IDK about anyone else but free will is absolutely terrifying; what do you mean i could do anything i wanted?

Thats how you face OCD(WITH A TRAINED THERAPIST). You give in to ambiguity and the unknown. Its breaking that link between thought and action. Its incredibly difficult and draining. A five minute exposure leaves me in shatters for a week and two five minute ones had me ripping my nails past the nail beds with anxiety.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Just a reminder: Do not have your character expose themself or expose folks with OCD to a trigger to “ help us get over with”. That is literally forcing someone with a mental illness into a break down and is not helpful. In fact its worse because a person knows about this intrusive thought and they tried to make it real. More shame and some trauma. 

If you have OCD, more likely than not a family member or significant other has tried this with the purest of intentions. But it never works like that. Theres a reason that therapists get special training for this. If people want a post on ERP I can make one at some point. 

------------------------------------------------------------------

Actually let’s drag me with the squirrel thing as the example- fellow OCD Folks get out a pen and paper and try breaking down one of yours;

Obsession:Squirrel will be murdered

Trigger: seeing a squirrel

 Intrusive thought: Graphic images of a squirrel being murdered by a hawk/ impaling depending on the day

Misinterpretation/feared consequence: Squirrel will be killed and its all my fault

Somatic and Psychological Anxiety:intense anxiety, palms sweating, heart racing,

Compulsions/Rituals: Must stare at the squirrel to prevent bad things from happening, 

Now imagine if that is every time you see a fucking squirrel. You have somehow become completely and totally transfixed on a squirrel and nothing is going to pull your attention away or the squirrel dies- which your mind is giving you lovely images of btw.

Cute right?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Below are the subtypes with general information/example thoughts/ and how some of these have impacted me socially because apparently some people dont understand that mental illnesses impact their social lives?? yall...

Social: This can range from ‘ i am constantly thinking i did something wrong so i have to ask for reassurance that we are still friends’ to completely unrealistic worries. Maybe its an intrusive thought that ‘ your voice is annoying them’ . There’s reassurance seeking, internal and external checking.

 It makes friendships extremely difficult and exhausting. You’re not trying to get to know someone with an annoying frat boy egging on anxiety in your brain. This can also manifest as having strict rules for yourself and ethical codes. 

My therapist likes to say she could give us (folks with OCD) a pile of hundred dollar bills and come back and they’d all be returned. Because OCD makes you so strict and morally confined. Which ISNT fun. Like I dont get pleasure over having to memorize the entire Code of Conduct!

Social Media: Its the bane of human existence some days and a lifeline the next. But what if everytime your follower count was an odd/even number it sent you into a panic attack. What if you spent all your time with intrusive thoughts that somehow someone misinterpreted a post or that someone is going to be harmed by a post you made about tapirs. 

You may be forced to block people to get your number down or keep pornbots on your blog to keep your number what you like (see there is a use for them! We sacrifice those before actual users!) You may be refreshing your page every second because ‘what if you miss a message’. It's going to look a lot like ‘check check check check reassure yourself double check your posts check check check reassure check check FALSE MEMORY check your post etc’

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Clothing/Body Image: When its not Body Dysmorphia it can be OCD. Sometimes this looks like I obsess about a body part and therefore I choose my clothes/hairstyles to hide those.  Some personal examples: as a kid I was sure that mind readers exist ( THIS IS AN OCD THING TOO I was so relieved to find that out) and that if i didnt wear  a particular hat they would see all these horrible thoughts and it would be revealed what an awful person I was. So I wore the same dumb ass bucket hat for a year (or more I cannot remember but it was a long ass time).

I was once so fixated on being given a compliment on my eye color that I wore sunglasses (even at night) to a summer camp. And if any of those teen girls in that cabin that stood up and mocked me in a crowded lunch hall by singing ‘i wear my sunglasses at night’ you all owe me 40$.

Even younger still I had intrusive thoughts. Like say, if anyone noticed I was female that i would be kidnapped so I chopped my hair very short. I altered my appearance to be very androgynous and even switched to walking more masculine. Because omg if your hips move someones going to kill you thats just how it works. ( It doesnt help I later figured out I was a lesbian)

Your wardrobe may be impacted by OCD and yes so can your body image.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Also yes the fear of mind readers is also a thing; i always thought I was somehow faking OCD because yes that is also a…..

Faking: Do you value telling the truth? Do you detest lying ? Boy Howdy do I have some news for you. OCD is going to try and convince you that YOU LIED. Whether it was on a chastity pledge to get a free sandwich or in a conversation you just HAD. This links a lot with false memory OCD.

Another aspect is OCD makes us doubt we have OCD and tries to convince us we have any other diagnosis under the sun and we are obviously faking our OCD.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Sexual Orientation OCD; It is as it is called. Sexual Orientation OCD is what happens when your brain goes ‘hold on what if you’re not this orientation what if you are THAT’. It doesn’t matter where on the LGBT umbrella you fall you will have OCD trying to convince you otherwise. From compulsive staring at members of the same/opposite gender to compulsively reassuring or checking with yourself to ensure that ‘ no no you are in fact THIS orientation.’ 

This can range in behavior from binge watching porn, staring compulsively to check that there is OR is NOT attraction,self checking past experiences and memories, analyzing your clothing and your lifestyle in painful and intricate methods.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

False Memory OCD; False memory OCD is basically your brain sitting you in a noir interrogation room, handcuffing you to a chair grilling you. It demands that you did *insert bad thing here*. This can range from anything from something Harm based to pretty much *anything* from other OCD subtypes. Which is quite delightful really.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Sensorimotor OCD; Sensorimotor OCD is obsessive body responses. These can be ‘ I have to cough really hard and really feel it right in my chest and if I can’t get it right I have to cough until I do’. This can be counting your heartbeats. Trying to check yourself that you in fact have a heart and checking and reassuring that it is still beating. It can be hyper-awareness of swallowing or even swallowing repeatedly. It is anything with selective attention; ie its an automated process but your OCD is forcing you to be aware of it.

Your OCD makes you aware of the sensation of, say, breathing, and then it convinces you that if you stop paying attention to it you will stop breathing. So now you’re horribly aware and focused solely on breathing and breathing alone. It keeps me up most nights with the pounding anxiety fueled by the pressure of ‘if you stop focusing on breathing you will stop breathing completely’ or waiting to feel that last heartbeat in your chest. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Existential OCD; You ever feel existential ? Existential OCD is like having a very aggressive existential crisis that turns you into NEEDING answers IMMEDIATELY. This can look anything from hours panic scrolling the net to panic inducing anxiety because you don't know what happens after death. The thoughts are like foghorns on a misty sea.

This sounds basic and the only example i can give is as a teeny tiny 7 year old I had a panic attack in bed screaming that ‘ what if im a dinosaur and im asleep and i wake up and my whole family is GONE’.

To be fair I did like dinosaurs a lot.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Harm OCD; This is pretty self explanatory but I will give more details. Harm OCD is OCD demanding that you will/could/can/may have/might harmed yourself/others/any living creature and that you alone are responsible. 

This means anything from getting anxious driving over crosswalks because ‘what if you dont see one and hit someone and its all your fault and you hit someone go back and make sure you havent hit anyone’ to ‘im holding a knife so im going to accidentally stab someone’ to ‘ i didnt see my cat this morning and now im at work and think she must be dead and i am responsible for her demise.’

 It can be as simple as ‘if i use a pencil i will stab myself in the eye’ or as complex as ‘ i may accidentally say a slur’/ ‘ i am going to say this horrible thing out loud if i cannot control myself.’ It can also be images of terror or racist/sexist/ableist jokes in your mind that repeat like a broken record.

(Please note from section 1 that this is extremely anxiety provoking and not something you would do. OCD preys on what we respect the most.)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

pOCD; Tumblr listen the fuck up because I am tired of seeing people get called shit on this website for having this mental illness. People who experience pOCD are not pedophiles, they do not get any pleasure or benefit. The thoughts and images are meant to induce harm to the person experiencing them. Children are normally the trigger for this and the resulting images can be very graphic. Again you aren’t attracted to children- thoughts of them getting harmed hurt you so your OCD makes you see them.

Know this so you can advocate for folks with pOCD in real life. Remember we are here. We are suffering and we are terrified of your children.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Poisoning others/or in your food; Life isn’t medieval anymore but sometimes OCD demands we have a food taster or that we obsessively worry that we may kill someone with our cooking. Personally I struggle with colorblindness so I am constantly fretful over cooking any sort of meat so it’s difficult for me to cook it.

 However this also comes as; obsessive horrible thoughts of your cooking kill someone or that you have somehow/accidentally poisoned someone’s food (even if you haven’t touched it or been within a foot of it ) or that someone has poisoned YOUR food even if no one has touched it except you. You’re going to be picking apart your food or unable to eat out at all.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Emotional Contamination: It’s similar to magical thinking and this terrifying prospect of mind readers. Emotional contamination can manifest as anything from intense worry over somehow gaining someone else’s negative personality traits.

 Or that somehow by interacting with any role of someone horrible will make YOU somehow also responsible for the horribleness.  There is usually a person or a type of person that is a trigger, but it can also be location based.

 This is one subtype where magical thinking and superstition are apparent.  

For instance; as a teen if a male was in my space or had physical contact;like shaking hands,giving a high five, being in my room etc. I would have to go around and physically touch all the objects that I perceive they may have also touched as a way to cancel out their presence. 

This includes wiping off myself to negate even the touch of family members. It really hurts peoples feelings, my father was especially hurt by this.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Physical Contamination: This goes beyond physical dirt and grime. Most of us dont have spotless homes because if you’re having a fist fight with your brain everyday cleaning falls by the wayside just like it would for anyone else. Physical contamination holds 2 things: physical contamination obsessions AND compulsive cleaning behaviors/rituals. We believe that a small amount of a contaminate can cover large surfaces.

 Oh, and did I mention its not JUST dirt/germs/viruses. The list is expansive but heres a mixed bag of what they can be: sticky substances,dead animals,glitter (FUCKING GLITTER),negative words or language,colors, numbers, surfaces in general, food, people, and activities.  There is also a hyper responsibility to protect yourself and others from ‘contamination’.

Strangely there is a magical separation between the contaminated world and the ‘clean’ one. Spaces designated as clean would be a bedroom/bathroom/workspace where you are most active. That space is where the compulsions and intrusive thoughts occur. Its not I MUST CLEAN EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME. Otherwise I would be working cleaning houses because why the hell not amiright?

A real world example from a colleague would be a young man with physical contamination OCD is struck with such intrusive thoughts about cleaning that they refuse to allow anyone in their room or any animals in their home. But they are not able to even flush the toilet, take out the trash, wash dishes, or do garbage because of their intrusive thoughts.

The most famous would be compulsive hand washing but I feel it is important to also note OTHER aspects of physical contamination because everyone sees the hand scrubbing stereotype. 

Other compulsions include intricate rituals, not touching the floor (i played X-treme the floor is lava during college. I couldnt let my feet touch the floor because it was ‘dirty’),excessive showering (2-8+ hour showers guys, 8 hour showers. Thats what we’re talking about.)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Relationship OCD: This comes as no surprise that yes you will have intrusive thoughts that you are somehow harming/ will harm/ may accidentally harm your significant other. Whether that be by physical or emotional means. It can look like ‘ I may have lied to her about how much I love her’, ‘ i may not actually love her and I may be leading her on’, and ‘ I must be corrupting her’. These can extend to certain physical activities with false memory OCD as a cherry on top. A great finishing garnish to leave you feeling absolutely dismayed and unable to trust your own perception.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Scrupulosity: Religion! Whatever that may be! Its a thing with OCD.  With Scrupulosity obsessive thoughts run all over the board from; you committed a sin and forgot about it you monster to having to pray continuously/ a certain time/ until its right. What is right?Ask OCD that’s the only person who knows. 

We are fairly certain my grandfather had OCD because he went to church for every single Catholic Mass. Every single day. Every. Single. Day.  That’s not a healthy amount of attendance(I'm calling you out posthumously because I care Robert!). This can also look like: praying a certain amount of times. Praying until you do it ‘right’. Confessing every single potential sin. Cataloguing and dwelling over ‘sinful’ things. 

----------------------------------------------------------

Symmetry or Just Right OCD: Symmetry OCD is the runner up for ‘most likely recognized on tv shows’ award.

Symmetry OCD convinces you that if *insert thing here* isnt symmetrical or ‘just right’ (a magical position or number of objects that makes 0 logical sense) that something bad will happen.

This can range from the known; rearranging things. But it also looks like buying more objects until you reach the right amount and even throwing out objects if theres ‘too many’.

It can range from ‘the walls are percievably not straight so now i avoid that room at all costs otherwise i will be trapped traveling the edges of the wall with my eyes otherwise it will fall in and murder us ALL.’ to ‘ this historical bust is one inch off to the left and now all i see is visions of it breaking against the ground.’

So that is what I have time for. 9 pages on subtypes and basic information. If you find yourself wanting me information all of this is easily accessible online. So go, be free and dont ever compare people to Monk again. Write Batman and Scott Summers with OCD. Give us ACTUAL representation and not throw away joke lines. We are here. Our suffering isnt funny. We deserve representation too.

[writing-for-me-at-this-point]

Anger Management | Satan

Request: So I can’t get this thought out of my mind cause I’d love to have a “date” like this with Satan! What if MC tried to help Satan express his rage by inviting him to a secret “date” they planned. A date that takes place at a rage room! The thought of MC encouraging Satan to unleash his anger in a safe way in a rage room where you can break things freely with no consequences sounds so fun! Any writers on here please I’m begging you, this would be such a good story!

Word Count: 1561 words

Page Count: 4.3 pages

A/n: okay, when i saw this, i ended up thinking of the cafe instead of the room sorry about that, but i loved the idea to much and i hope you still like it! also that was the only gif i could find with satan in it like we need more of this boi

Tags: @mrlovememes​

        "Rage Restaurant. Really?" Satan asked, an amused smile on his face while looking down at your phone, shaking his head in a moderate disbelief at the idea of your first date on Earth being... this. Sitting up on his bed, his head on your shoulder while the sleep in his voice was evident, the date you had set up for him tonight did interest him very much.

        "Yeah! The plates are made of hardened sugar and all the knives and forks are dulled, you can even get a miscalculated bill at the end just to make sure you have everything out, isn't that cool?" You beamed at the idea, after seeing the restaurant pop up on your Instagram feed, you had made a reservation that night. Still in a tank top and shorts, your sleep left your body immediately once you had showed him the restaurant, thinking that this would be a good outlet for the demon of your life.

        Currently, you, the brothers, Diavolo, Barbatos, Solomon, and the angels are on a small two week trip to the human world. Lucifer claims it was for business, but with how excited Diavolo was, you started to think they all had planned it for a bit to see what the human race was up to up close and personal. You had your regular phone back, but on the first day Lucifer had taken you to get phones for the rest of the boys, which he paid for, and made you set up the numbers for each phone, so with your DDD you were sure the electric bill of the house they were renting would shoot up fairly quickly.

        "But, what if things get out of hand?" He asked, a bit unsure of releasing his rage on you while you just sat there, without someone there to watch. His anxiety bubbled slightly, thoughts of accidentally hurting you physically or emotionally made his heart drop a bit, he dug his head into your neck slightly to comfort himself from the thought.

        "The waiters are like moderators. And trust me. I know you wont hurt me. You can just yell at me while you break the things around you. I made a special reservation to have some tables around us cleared if that makes you feel better." You tried to ease him into the idea, knowing you had set up the date so that he can release his rage without having to worry about consequences, you did everything you could to prepare your area for him.

        When making the reservation, you were in the kitchen as Lucifer was cooking and Mammon was sitting on the counter next to you, both who offered to stay in the background of the date to watch over him. Though you loved Satan with all your heart, and you knew he wouldn't hurt you with the control he has managed to gain as time went on, but having some insurance wouldn't hurt either.

        Allowing Lucifer and Mammon to sit at the other end of the restaurant, you got a table for them to fake fight at while keeping an eye on Satan, having everything set for your date.

        "Are you sure?" He took a deep breath, looking down at the confirmation of your time and tables, his hand coming up to rub up and down your thigh.

        "Yes. And that's why it was a surprise. Because everything is already set up and I think it would be good for you. Though, if you really don't want to, I'm not forcing you either." Your voice started to settle into a whisper near the end, turning your face to rest it into his hair, your right hand also coming up to lightly scratch his head.

        "Mmm." He hummed, enjoying the feeling of your nails on his scalp, calming him further. You both had stayed there for a good five minutes before he spoke up.

        "Fine. Thank you. For everything."

        "No problem!"

*****

        The drive to the restaurant was pretty entertaining, with you driving and finding parking, Satan found your ever so small amount of road rage quite funny to the point he was cackling at you while you were trying to explain something.

        "It's a recording studio that kinda just- BITCH!" You slammed both hands onto the horn while slamming on the breaks, trying to not crash into the guy that just cut you off, your sigh of irritation only had him burst with some laughter before continuing on.

        "Oh yeah, keep laughing." You smirked while turning into the driveway up the hill, and finding a place to park, you pulled the keys and smiled widely.

        "Maybe you need this more than me." He mused.

        "Eh." You responded, sitting in silence for a bit, before breaking it.

        "Ready?"

        "As I'll ever be."

*****

        Sitting down at your table, you smiled as the waitress poured about six glasses of water, leaving to grab some food for Satan to throw was well.

        "You ready?" You grinned, looking at how awkward he seemed to be, you sat back and saw Lucifer and Mammon sit at a corner table near the front of the restaurant.

        "I... I don't know where to start." He looked around, and right before he was to turn around, you perked up.

        "Well. Maybe the fact that Lucifer and Mammon are here to?"

        "What."

        And with that, he started to fume, his head going into his hands as he mumbled angrily at the table- starting to string everything together, going from just the two brothers to how they do things that annoy him, to the rest of the brothers. Before you knew it he was yelling about everything and more- grabbing the water and plates and throwing them on the tables, slamming his hands onto the table before you and breaking it before flipping the other ones next to him, stomping on the shattered remains.

        You watched in awe, honestly even with all this anger emanating from his body, he was still a beautiful creature to behold, so while you continued to sip on your [ Tea/Coffee/Hot Cocoa ] and the waitress brought more items with a look that screamed 'This is kinda new, but hey, it's kinda fun to watch.', Satan continued a controlled rampage on the poor sugar plates and tables around him.

        The owner at the counter looked over at you, shooting him a small smile and a nod, he did the same while watching some other customers around the cafe.         

        "Are you fucking kidding me? I should have gotten credit for the goddamned note card thing! I should wring him by the neck with my thumbs in his sockets-" It went like this for a while, the continued shattering of fake glass and his screams of anger went to deaf ears around him, though you kept your eye on him so he knew that you were listening to him release his rage.

        An hour and a half later, hundreds of "glasses" broken, three shattered tables, about seven limp chairs, and said broken pieces being impaled into the walls around you two. He was panting lightly, his hand shaking as it settled on your chair while he bent over, his face in your neck like it was this morning. His heart was racing and small amounts of his horns starting to poke out from his hair, which you covered with your hands to make it look like you were rubbing his head, before he stood up to his full height with a sigh.

        "That... that was... good." He was breathing deeply now, and his words were becoming much more clear, he looked like he was lighter in general- all the weight he had carried left him in these moments.

        "Good?" You laughed lightly, before rubbing his back with one hand as the other went to your purse, you both walked to the counter to pay for everything. Satan looked to where Lucifer and Mammon sat at, seeing the area soaked with water and having the area around them broken, safely assuming that even they had their fill which made an evident smirk cross his face.

        "That will be 346.85." He owner announced in a bored manner. Your face paled in shock, a tight smile on your face, eyes wide at the number.

        "Is that the miscalculation thing you usually do?"

        "Nah, we decided to give you a break, your man seemed to be having a rough time so... yeah."

        "Thanks." You pulled your card out, and handed it to him, before thanking him for everything and apologizing for the extra damage.

        As the both of you left to the car, Satan had a please smile on his face, his hand in yours as he leaned on you slightly- his more playful side coming to light, this was usual after he released his anger, not that you minded. You were happy for these moments with him, though you had to push him off you to get back into the car, he buckled in before his eyes met yours.

        "What?"

        "Hm. Nothing." He voiced out playfully. You pulled out of the space and went to your way back home, deciding to enjoy the back roads and their scenery, also trying to take a longer way back home to spend more time with the demon.

        "I just love you is all."

        "SATAN."

[blackteaandbones]

Reposting this little Avatrice piece because the original tags are buggy for some reason.

Thank you to @arashimaru and anon for the prompts :)

Prompt 1:

Beatrice is injured during a mission but hides how bad her wound actually is to make sure she doesn't distract her team and the mission is completed at all cost. Ava sensed something is wrong but as usual can't argue with Bea's logic. Cue some kind of dramatic reveal (blood stain, Bea collapsed, you name it) which then forces Ava and Bea to talk and Ava gets to care for Bea for once. 

Prompt 2:

I was wondering if you’d write something where Bea is hurt/sick but hides it so they can complete a mission. It makes it way worse and eventually the group finds out, preferably by dramatic reveal (like collapsing or something). Ava panics and maybe even blames herself and they have to talk. The group reminds bea that she has worth outside of like her training and fighting abilities and that they care about her.

Part 1 of “Damned if you Do” under the cut

“You’re a damn fool.”

“I know…”

“No. You don’t know. If you knew-” Mary snaps, pulling the thread tight and tying off another stitch, “you wouldn’t have done what you did, and Ava here wouldn’t be trying to keep your blood inside your fool body where it belongs instead of letting it spill out all over the floor while I try to put you back together. If you knew,” she adds, jabbing the needle in again and ignoring Beatrice’s wince, “you would have stayed at your post instead of swooping in like prince-fucking-charming and getting yourself impaled!”  

“Language,” Beatrice chides weakly.  

“Language?” Mary scoffs rolling her eyes over Beatrice’s shoulder at Ava. “Language, she says to me, after scaring the shit out of everybody for no goddamned reason.”  

Beatrice sighs. “Ava-”

“Ava was fine!” Mary cuts her off. “Weren’t you Ava?”  

“Oh, no. I’m staying out of this.” Ava would have raised her hands in surrender, but she has one arm  wrapped around Beatrice; holding her up while Mary works to close the gaping hole in her side, and the other hand pressing a blood-soaked wad of fabric that had once been one of her sleeves over the exit wound in her back. They’d lost precious minutes once they’d made it home to the safe house and gotten Beatrice into her bed, peeling off her armour and cutting her out of her habit, leaving her in only the bra and loose pants she wore under her skirt (Ava is holding her respectfully okay?) and she hadn’t been able to bear to let go of her any longer than necessary throughout.  

Luckily, Mary had been too pissed to comment on her handsiness, though Ava knew she’d noticed.  

“Coward,” (fair, but hey!) Mary mutters, snipping the last thread. “Okay, let’s do the other side, then we’ll wrap her up and leave her to think about what she did.”  

Instead of moving Beatrice, Ava switches places with Mary so that Beatrice can lean forward into her shoulder while Mary stitches up her back.  It’s not perfect, but they don’t want to lay her down until they’re done, or they’ll just have to sit her up again to bandage everything, and according to Mary, the less she’s moved the better.  

Ava isn’t complaining, and Beatrice doesn’t seem to be in any hurry to let go of her either, clutching the front of Ava’s shirt in white knuckled fists while Mary peels the bloody fabric loose and douses the wound with antiseptic. Beatrice hisses through her teeth, a whimper catching in the back of her throat.  

“Talk to me,” she breathes.  

“Uh…” Ava instantly forgets all words ever. “About what?”

“Anything.”  

“Okay, um… “ words, words, words… “How does Moses make his coffee?”

“How?”

“Hebrews it.”  

Beatrice snorts into Ava’s chest.

“You’re right,” Ava agrees. “That one was terrible. How about… What’s a missionary’s favorite kind of car?”  

“She gets a sword through the gut, and I’m the one being tortured,” Mary mutters under her breath, (because she’s a jerk who hates fun.)

“A convertible.”

That one actually gets a chuckle out of Beatrice, her shoulders shaking in the circle of Ava’s arms.  

“Hold still, or you’re going to have more than one hole in your gut!” Mary grumbles, but Ava can see the hint of a smirk at the corner of her mouth. (busted!) She’s almost done, the flow of blood slowing to a trickle as she pulls the ragged edges of the wound together.

One more. “How long did Cain hate his brother?” She pauses for dramatic effect. “As long as he was Abel.”

“I take it back,” Beatrice groans. “No more talking.”  

Ava gasps in mock affront. “I’m hilarious! You don’t know what you’re missing.”

“We’ll take our chances,” Mary answers for both of them. “There.” She sits back, wiping the sweat off her forehead with a bloody hand. “You’re all done. I’ll send Camilla in with some of the good drugs while Ava gets you cleaned up, then we can all get together and talk about how much trouble you’re in.”

“When did we stop talking about it?” Beatrice sighs. “I can do that,” she adds when Ava reaches for the bowl of warm water and rags Camilla had left with them before fleeing Mary’s wrath. “I’m not a complete invalid.”  

“You were literally just impaled,” Ava says, holding the bowl out of her reach. “I think you can let someone else take care of you for five minutes.”  

Beatrice frowns, but she doesn’t protest when Ava sets the bowl down beside them on the bed and wrings out one of the rags. Ava holds out a hand and Beatrice reluctantly offers one of her own. Ava takes it reminding herself that this is medicinal touching, and there are no hormones allowed in medicine (really, this whole teenage libido thing is getting ridiculous. Time and place much?) She does one hand, and then the other, wiping the dried blood from Beatrice’s palms and between her fingers; trying to forget with every swipe of the rag over soft skin how much worse this could have been.

No one had realized she was even wounded until the fight was over. It had been chaos; the plan fucked sideways from their first move, but Ava had been handling it. Mary and Lilith had her back, Beatrice and Camilla were running the secondary ops, and the Halo was even behaving itself; they were going to be fine. And then suddenly Beatrice was there between Ava and a sword (a sword she totally would have countered by the way,) and it all went tits up. Camilla was left hanging, the plan in tatters, they fought their way free only for Beatrice to promptly pass out, hands clamped to her side.

Ava remembers a lot of shrieking and panicking after that (most – okay all of it hers.)  

“I’m sorry,” Beatrice says, eyes downcast, shoulders bowed. “I didn’t mean to worry you.”

I wasn’t worried,” Ava lies, wiping the last of the blood from her wrists and getting a fresh rag before moving on to her waist.  

Beatrice glances up through her lashes (unfair,) a subtle tilt to the corner of her mouth that says she knows exactly how full of shit Ava is. “My mistake.”  

(To be continued)

[lofitojii]

ONE SHOT: Being A Hero

Summary: (POV Hawks) He thought it was going to be like any other day, punching a few bad guys here, locking a few up there, maybe getting a little deeper into an investigation. He didn’t think it would lead into you (Y/N) being put in the middle of it all.

Word Count: 2.9k

Content: fluff 

It is hard leaving you every morning, especially when you’re sprawled out like that, drooling on the pillowcase when I get up for work. You always look so beautiful, sleeping so peacefully on both mine and your side. Almost every day do I regret not spending just 10 extra minutes with you, holding you, snuggling up to stay warm. At least I always have something to look forward to when I get home. 

Alright, since you all know I have a soft spot now. And yes, it is because of my beautiful partner. 

To be honest, not a lot of people know about us, and the main purpose being that I want to protect you and keep you safe. Being a hero is great and all but when it comes to the more personal side of things, villains will do almost anything to break down every bit of you. And that ‘every bit’ of me, is you, Y/N. 

“Wait, baby?” You cooed, sleep ridden in both your face and voice as you called out to me. You propped yourself on your elbow, giving me a weak smile, eyes barely open. “I love you.” I felt my cheeks warm up, my heart bursting at how cute you looked laying there, in my shirt may I add. 

“I love you, baby.” I walked over, dipping my head in to steal a kiss. I could feel you lean into the kiss, a smile slowly forming. “Keep acting like that and I’ll have to take the day off.” 

“Don’t tempt me, you know I’ll do it.” I love how cheeky you are, always testing me. I knew that if I lingered any longer, you would’ve succeeded and I would be in trouble. I mean, I’m my own boss but I do have a name to live up to. This is my job after all. “Be safe out there, please.” You always said the same thing, every day. 

“I’ll come home safely but can’t promise about coming home in one piece,” I replied, like I always did. You hated that comment, shaking your head with that little indent forming in your brows. God you’re so adorable, the way your hair does that thing and when my shirt dips off your shoulder? Not to mention how lovely your gross morning breath is, and the drooling? That shit is so hot. 

“Are you going to leave?” You asked, weakly throwing the pillow you had been cuddling all morning towards me. We both stared at the pillow, then up at each other, your face getting bright red at how weak your throw was. I couldn’t help but shake my head, a smile forming. It’s not a laugh babe, I’m just smirking. “Stop laughing!” God I know you so well. 

“Sorry! I wasn’t laughing but I was staring at you and that’s why I haven’t left.” This caused your cheeks to flare, knowing I hit your flustered button. “Okay I’m actually leaving. Goodbye beautiful.” I hate this part of the day, leaving you alone every morning. I know you know how to keep yourself busy but I just wish I could do it with you. 

If I’m going to be honest with myself, I love being a hero. I love saving people, the fame, the name of the game, the whole rodeo! But as time goes on and as I get to spend my free time with you, I keep falling more and more for you. I didn’t really think that was possible, but here I am, admitting it to myself I guess. You are something else, something truly special.

Like, you’re weird, for starters. The way you make those weird noises when you’re gaming or when you cry at any animal video ever but will cuss out the 15 year old who called you a name over game chat. You’re also extremely loving, sensitive, emotional, funny, a great cook, hardworking. I fall more in love everyday and every day I question whether or not I want to be a hero or if I’m ready to start my own family and give up on this hero work. I could pass my agency down or even take myself out of the field and let someone else be the face of my agency.

Not yet, I can’t let myself give up yet. I know we talked about a family and you were the one who told me that we can wait, but I don’t know if I want to wait. Okay, yes I do. Being a dad sounds very scary right now. But what if they had my wings? A little me flying around? And if they end up being quirkless, like you, then even better. I know we have the potential of raising a wonderful family and one hell of a cool kid. 

“Excuse me. Hawks, sir?” Tokoyami blinked at me, noticing how spacey I was being. This isn’t too irregular of me but I will admit, I’m thinking about you a bit more today than normal. 

“Sorry, what’s up kid?” He placed a packet of papers in my hands, letting me flip through it as he gave me the rundown of what was going on with the investigation I had sent him on. 

“Seems to be a new name in the face of criminals. 15 abdutions, 23 dead, the only lead we have on him is that he is extremely unreadable, attacking at random. He knows the heroes know about him, his quirk also undetermined.” Only been spotted twice, once in the middle of an attack and the second, we had prevented from happening. No wonder, he’s probably done his own investigation on us, that’s why it’s so hard to find him right now. 

“I guess we better patrol the area he was last in,” I told Tokoyami who responded with his aggressive ‘yes sir!’ like he always did. I really like Tokoyami and I know you think it’s probably because he’s a bird but I promise you, it’s more than that. Not only does he have a bad ass quirk and a lot of spirit for this field, he’s hard working and quite quick on his feet. Not to mention, he has been helpful in the plan doing and the more technical side of things.

Patrolling was one of those tasks that are either mundane and boring, just walking around for hours, being stopped by the occasional fan. Or it could be fucking wild, villians bursting at the seems of the city with every turned corner. I sent Tokoyami out by himself for the day, tagging up with the other sidekicks in hopes to find something on this unnamed villain.  

A cold blooded killer, almost like Stain except this guy was keeping quiet. No drawn out speech, no motive, at least none that we are aware of because this guy has kept his lips shut. I have this uneasy feeling that he could be planning something bigger and we are in no way, shape, or form, ready for that. Not yet at least. 

Where could this guy be? I mean the last place he was seen was in an alleyway, a couple blocks away from one of the main train stations. It looks to me that my sidekick, along with the others, are posted up along the major stops which contained the most traffic for people. So where is this guy hiding? Does he have a shadow quirk? Maybe a morphing one?

“Hawks! Sir we need you down here now! He’s appeared and we have him surrounded but he’s asking for you specifically!” What the fuck? Asking for me? I know nothing of this guy, never seen him, never crossed paths. The more I thought about it, the more frustrated I became, wondering what this man wanted. 

“On my way! Keep him restrained.” As I flew towards the location, I really didn’t know what to expect. I mean, it was very rare that this type of thing happens, ever since the League of Villains disappeared. One day, they just relocated and it had been several years since we had seen anything from them. Those were the only people I knew that would know me by name. Come to think of it, I hadn’t really thought that. What if it were the league we were dealing with? 

When I arrived, he was surrounded like Tokoyami had said, only no one was able to get close enough to him without being impaled by a solid morphed body part he could manipulate and hardern. I slowly stepped towards the man, hidden by a black cloak. He had been restrained with industrial cuffs so why hadn’t the team sent him away? “Why didn’t you guys just lock him up? I could’ve just talked to him there.” 

“Because sir,” Tokoyami pointed down at his feet that looked to be molded in with the ground. “We tried to remove it but every time, he would seep more into the floor or manipulate his body into spikes, too sharp for anyone to touch. The only way we could get him to cooperate was to get you down here.” A morphing and hardening quirk, how typical of a villain. 

“Alright, well you have me! What do you want?” I ripped the hood off of his head, revealing a man I have never seen before. I mean I deal with people all day, I talk to hundreds of people a week. What could this random man have to do with me? “Mute huh? How lame. And to think I thought you were interesting-��� 

“Number 2 hero,” he growled, his voice deep and raspy, cutting me off. “What an honor it is to meet the man who had successfully tracked me down. You know that the heroes in America and Europe are having a hard time linking my cases together?” 

“I don’t care for your story,” I spat, trying my best to make sure I didn’t lose my shit at this guy. “I want to know why you wanted me here.” 

“That little… thing of yours,” he started, waving his cuffs in the air, like he was conducting some sort of crowd. “You hold so close to you, so precious. Not to mention they smell wonderful and have very soft hair.” 

No. 

“What were they wearing today? A black top? The sweet smell a musky vanilla?” 

He’s not talking about you, is he? 

“It was the Pokemon backpack though, that part was adorable.” I didn’t think, I just moved. His shirt was clenched in my fist, the other hand stopping me from hitting him against the wall too hard, trying not to break the train station pillars. 

“What the fuck did you do?” I feel like I lost myself, the anger fully taking over my entire thought process. It’s as if I blacked out, like every precaution I was ever taught went right out the window. 

“You’re too late, hero. They’re already gone by now! What are you going to do?” The man began to melt in my hands, leaving a wet substance in place of where his body was. He even managed to slip through his cuffs, leaving them in a puddle on the broken cement. He completely disappeared before appearing above a sewer cap located in the middle of the train tracks. This time, it wasn’t the man you had cuffed. It wasn’t even a man at all.

“Toga…” her name slipped from my mouth, almost as if I was deceiving myself. There was no doubt that it was her, her skin tight suit making it easy for her to slip away. 

“Better hurry. Not sure how much time they have left, big guy.” She was quick to jump into the sewer, causing multiple sidekicks to jump in after her. But I was frozen, almost like my own body had melted into the cement under my feet. 

Did she mean you Y/N? Everything she said sounded exactly like you, down to the heavy vanilla scent. There’s no way she got to you right? 

“Hawks, go. We’ll be okay here and the Pro’s are on their way. Go.” I didn’t even say thank you but to be honest, I don’t know what’s happening right now. It’s like waves of black flooding into my line of vission, making it hard to stay focused on my flying. I’m all over the place right now, running into signs and stop lights. I clipped my jacket on something too but the adrenaline was kicking in. I didn’t even notice that I had cut my leg on something. 

“Y/N!!!” I bursted through the door being met with a wave of fear and…. Loss? It felt so empty in our apartment, so cold. The fire wasn’t going, the teapot in the same spot I left it in this morning. Did you not make tea this morning? Did you eat? 

My heart is aching, Y/N. I can physically feel it tearing at the seams that you had put together for me. All I want to do right now is scream, my heart being torn apart with every empty room I checked in our apartment. The bed wasn’t even made, you always made sure to make it before you left. 

I lost. I have lost you, haven’t I? Now here I am, on my knees, sobbing into my hands. I don’t remember the last time I cried like this, nor do I remember the last time I felt this type of pain in my chest. I can’t breathe. I don’t know how to regulate my breathing, not without you Y/N. 

“Keigo?” I lifted my head from my hands, glasses falling onto the floor with my movement. There you were, standing there with plastic bags in your hands from the grocery store. You still had my shirt on, your hair still messy from this morning. “Baby… What’s wrong?” You dropped the bags, ignoring the fragile products inside as you rushed towards me. I was quick to pull you into my arms, burying my head into the crook of your neck as I sobbed harder. And you just sat there, letting me hold you like that for as long as I needed, not once pulling away. You were warm, your touch gentle as you tried to soothe me.

I lifted myself from you, propping you on my lap so you could sit more comfortably. You lifted your hand, wiping a tear from my cheek. I could feel my stuffy nose run, my eyes stung from the raw areas due to my crying. Yet, you were so gentle, your touch comforting, welcoming, loving. 

“Can we get you into some sort of training course? Like self defense? Maybe even come work at my agency so I can keep an eye on you?” I didn’t want to force you to do anything you didn’t want to, but I could feel myself beggin in my plea. It was the only thing that would give me a peace of mind about being with you, because no matter how hard this job was, I could never let you go. 

“I’ll sign up for self defense yes but the agency?” You raised an eyebrow at my offer, knowing I wanted to keep you a secret for as long as I could and only the people at my agency knew of us. I guess that makes the League now too.

“Please,” I pressed our foreheads together, squeezing my eyes shut as I tried to control the high emotion I was feeling. I couldn’t stop crying, knowing that you were unsafe while I wasn’t around. 

You exhaled, taking my hand into yours as you rubbed small circles across my knuckles. This didn’t stop you from smiling though, even though I know you’re worried about why I’m doing this. But you agreed anyways. “If that will make you feel like I’m safe, then I will do it.” I’m so lucky to have someone like you. You knew what it meant to be dating someone like me, yet you have never let that get in the way of us. You were aware of it but it was the mutual trust we had in each other that convinced you to listen to me. 

To be honest, I do want more of a life with you. But until that day comes where that seems doable, all I want is for you to keep loving me. I want to come home everyday and hear about all the things you experienced while we were apart. I want to tell you how I beat some villains ass or have you hold me if I had a bad day. I’m so soft for you Y/N, you have opened something inside of me that I didn’t think was possible. 

“God damn it Keigo!!! Your LEG!!” You began to panic, ripping my pant leg to get a better look at my fresh wound that was dripping onto the hardwood floor. “Oh my god, oh my GOD!!” You got up from your spot, rushing to the bathroom to grab any sort of first aid we had. I just shook my head, the wound being my last priority. 

I just stared, like I always did when you weren’t looking. I let you patch me up, knowing it would make you feel better. Well as good as you can be, you turn into a concerned mother when stuff like this happens. It’s adorable, honeslty. 

You keep me safe, more than I realize sometimes. And today, it opened my eyes a bit more, how safe I feel with you. 

And in return, I promise, I will protect you.