#I do this with our discord all the time

[hella1975]

hiiii haha. hello. exceptionally awkward introduction bc idrk how to start something like this so let's just jump right in. im taking a break from this account for a bit. i know i said i wanted taob out before halloween and currently im fine sticking with that deadline, but if i decide i need longer away then i will take longer away. every time ive reassured people that id never abandon a fic and updates will always come eventually i never once considered that my writing and ability to feel safe and comfortable on this site would be actively taken from me, so im not even going to apologise. i dont want this either and more importantly i dont fucking deserve it. i dont know what it is in the past year, if ive hit a certain amount of followers or 'popularity' that's made it so the natural ratio of positive to negative interactions must in turn go up, but there's been a serious uptick in weird asks for me. the annoying part is that a very small amount of them are actually objectively mean and hateful, the rest are just weird and invasive from people who seemingly dont realise that's what they're being. ive reached a point where i dont care if the intentions are good. it's not my job as a 20 year old tumblr user of all things to defend the morality of someone who couldnt even bother to come off anon. unfortunately, after blocking only one or two anons, the weird asks have decreased substantially, which says all you need to know about the fascinating and exhilarating lives led by these people, but ive also gone on to turn anon asks off entirely. this is something i actively fought against doing and had to be pushed into by my mutuals (who have been the coolest people on planet earth during this entire thing). turning off anon was a big deal to me even if it sounds silly. i felt betrayed and like id been backed into a corner because it was so vehmently something i DIDNT WANT that to feel like i had to do it anyway for my own mental health??? that sucks. so even though ive 'fixed' the problem, im still kind of reeling and uncomfortable every time i come on tumblr. i hope it's just something i need time to ease because i'll truly be devastated if this becomes 'ruined' for me. tumblr exists as the only place in the world where i am honestly every facet of myself without shame or hesitation; losing that would be insanely harmful to me. and to the people who cant appeal to the actual human behind the post, let me put that in words you can understand: we wouldn't get any more writing 😦😦😦 riots and fires and sirens, i know. so yeah. to anyone who has sent me an anon ask and you're now wondering if you were part of the problem, im firmly of the belief that you'll know if you are. when i say 'weird asks' i dont mean 'you sent me a para about your personal life just to vent or ask for advice' or 'you sent me a really deep emotional compliment about the impact me and/or my writing has had on you' - i love asks like that, so much that i put off taking a break and turning off anon solely for the joy they bring me. im sorry that it might feel like you're being punished too bc of the actions of what in reality is a HANDFUL of weird people, but this is what i feel like i have to do to feel safe and not go insane every time i log in. love you guys, hopefully ill see you soon x

[akirakirxaa]

[ day 16: secret ]

𝑳𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒑𝒂𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝑰𝒕'𝒔 𝒂 𝒅𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎, 𝒂𝒔 𝒊𝒕'𝒔 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝑨𝒍𝒍 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆 𝒍𝒊𝒗𝒆𝒔 𝒐𝒏 𝒊𝒇 𝒘𝒆'𝒗𝒆 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒅 𝒊𝒕

𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝑰, 𝑰 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒓𝒆𝒎𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒕𝒐 𝒇𝒍𝒚 𝑼𝒏𝒍𝒐𝒄𝒌 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒗𝒆𝒏𝒔 𝒊𝒏 𝒎𝒚 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒅 𝑭𝒐𝒍𝒍𝒐𝒘 𝒎𝒚 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒂𝒎𝒆 𝒔𝒆𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒕 𝒅𝒐𝒐𝒓

Bonus: Dog meets Pommy

[penisbilt]

the bittersweet but absolute flood of relief that comes from admitting defeat at living independently, to have to move back in with parents. we tried! we gave it our best shot for almost 3 years! but living like this (being on our own) is just not possible for us at this time of our lives. we've finally proved it to ourselves that we can't do it. it'll be okay to let ourselves rest now

[toastsnaffler]

in a hilarious turn of events my flatmate didn't even know I use any pronouns....

[nexus-nebulae]

suddenly remembering how we used to write down conversations between our old host and their "ocs" (see: headmates) during school when we were super stressed out. hmm.

[hisbutler-problematic]

i know i keep saying this but there is nothing funnier than when sebastian and ciel are alone. they just wanna engage in parallel play and evil people jokes

i have no canon backup for the parallel play other than they’re like “damn, finally some quiet” when they go to the townhouse without the others, which isn’t proof at all but DOES lend to my next claim which is just. that’s the vibes they have tho

[09lover]

my reaction after ()’s attempt to gaslight me for the uncountable time into trying to repair this broken relationship that they ruined

[ebonytails]

Would you guys be interested in an art discord server with me? Specifically, i’ve been given the idea every now and then to run my own discord server where i get to just focus on sharing my art, especially making it like. Patron/kofi-member accessed for at least some channels

Have you guys been a part of discord servers like these that are focusing on other people’s art? Have you been a part of discord servers that are paid access?? Do you have suggestions etc? Or dislikes?

Ive been thinking that maybe I can use it as a place to 1) host art streams (since my internet lags heavily on picarto & twitch, but not discord), 2) show off wips in real time instead of having to choose between tumblr, twitter, insta, tiktok, etc) at the very least

For maybe $3-5 a month, what would YOU want to see as paid options, or what would you be willing to pay for?

[stillcominback]

🎀 🎀 🎀

[ancientrimer]

i can't believe this keeps happening to me. i figure out a theory i think i might want to apply in my thesis, go look at the text that has the theory, and find that that text already mentions jane eyre

[duodusk]

nothing has united mcytblr in a LONG TIME quite like this awful fucking trailer has lmfao

[l0rd-0f-c0ws]

I frequently feel completely isolated no matter how much I talk to people. So that's fun

[deepwoundsandfadedscars]

.

[ophthalmotropy]

You can barely tell because I'm still, you know, posting, but the amount of time I spend here has decreased massively. Most of it was just scrolling out of restlessness and not actually wanting to post something lmao.

[possibly-eli]

hey guys i think im out of the trauma spiral my ex-quadmate put me in <- he is, in fact, not out of the trauma spiral his ex-quadmate put him in

[toastsnaffler]

anyway yeah relevant to that post abt being deaf/hoh and ppl excluding u from conversation bc of it (even unintentionally), that's smth that's been really deeply bothering me lately bc there are a few ppl I routinely have to deal with who do it a lot and it Pisses Me The Fuck Off I've lost all patience w them. giving up and calling it ableism and walking out idc anymore 🚶‍♂️