#I didn't know they were divorced. Why did they
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Clueless: Just friends?
Lee Know x fem!reader
Warnings: language, suggestive content MDNI
Genre: friends with benefits to lovers, fluff
Summary: You and Minho used to be friends with benefits. Until you caught feelings, and you both called it off. But Minho obviously misses you and is miserable even though he doesn't want to admit it. And his brothers have had enough of his moping.
Clueless Masterlist
The arrangement with Minho had been perfect - or at least it had started that way. Opposite apartments on the same floor of your nice apartment building. You’d text each other, and within minutes, someone was at the other’s door. No strings, no drama. Just a lot of heat that left you breathless and a little sore the next day.
Until, of course, you did the one thing you promised yourself you wouldn’t do - you caught feelings.
And naturally, Minho, emotionally stunted and a menace to society, panicked. He started pulling away, making excuses every time you asked if he wanted to come over. The warmth in his teasing dimmed into something guarded.
And it hurt. A lot. His rejection wasn't something you had expected, because no matter what anyone said, he was so soft and sweet to you. But he obviously didn't want a relationship, and you both decided to stop seeing each other.
You missed him. Not just his touch, but everything else too. The way he always brought food over (making excuses about how he had extra), held you tight when you had a hard day and how his cats lived with you more than they did with him. Oh you missed the cats. They were literally your kids - and this dirty divorce had given him full custody of them.
And Minho? He was a mess. Not that he’d admit it.
And Jisung had had about enough of his best friend and his brooding.
---
Jisung: OKAY EVERYONE STOP.
Chan: What's up?
Hyunjin: What did you do?
Jisung: NOTHING. THIS IS ABOUT MINHO.
Seungmin: What did he do?
Jisung: He’s been moping for WEEKS. And I'm sick of it.
Changbin: You sure? That’s just his face.
Jisung: LISTEN. IT’S ABOUT Y/N.
Hyunjin: Ohhhhhh.
Felix: I KNEW IT.
Minho: What the hell is going on?
Jisung: OH LOOK WHO DECIDED TO SHOW UP. Jisung: YOU, SIR, ARE A DRAMA QUEEN.
---
Minho sighed. This was the last thing he needed right now.
---
Minho: I’m not moping.
Felix: Sure. And I’m not Australian.
Hyunjin: Yeah, totally not glaring at your phone at all.
Minho: It’s not about her.
Jeongin: Are you sure you didn't accidentally click her name in your contacts 12 times yesterday?
Chan: What's going on, Min?
Minho: I don't even know what you guys are going on about!
Minho: We were friends. With benefits. Not lovers. She was nice in bed. That’s it.
---
There was complete silence in the chat for a minute before it exploded.
---
Chan: No, Minho. No. No. No.
Seungmin: Okay, first of all, what the actual fuck?
Hyunjin: Bro, you did not just say that.
Jisung: YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKING LOSER.
Changbin: 😡
Jeongin: Hyung, she's an angel, how could you?
Felix: We’re literally trying to save you from yourself.
Minho: Well don't.
---
Minho hated himself. He absolutely hated himself. But he couldn't dwell on the self hate because Jisung just sent a video of Minho pacing his living room like a caged animal, while ranting about you being gone.
---
Hyunjin: Wow. Ok.
Minho: 🙄
Minho: Stop. Just stop.
Chan: Look, you’re obviously miserable. Why not just talk to her?
Seungmin: Yeah, genius. It’s not like she doesn’t live 20 feet away.
Minho: What if she doesn’t feel the same?
Jeongin: I'm sorry, but you’re an idiot.
Hyunjin: Dude. She liked you enough to start this whole thing. You just have to get over your dumb commitment issues.
Changbin: Honestly, just confess. Worst-case scenario, you cry into Dori.
Minho: I hate you all.
Jisung: Hate is a strong word for someone who’s about to sob into his cat.
Minho: Fine. I’ll talk to her.
---
Minho sat on his couch, heart pounding as he stared at your number on his phone. He’d been backed into a corner by his idiot friends, and now there was no escape.
And knowing you, he had a feeling that this was going to be the single most difficult task ever.
With a frustrated groan, he stood and grabbed his hoodie. He was going to do this. Because he loved you so much, and he was miserable without you.
Across the hall, in your apartment, you were getting some work done, sipping on coffee. You heard the doorbell, and when you opened the door, you saw Minho - disheveled, nervous, and yet, as handsome as ever. And your traitorous heart did that stupid thing it always did around him.
“Hey,” he said softly, eyes meeting yours. “Can we talk?”
Minho hadn’t been this nervous in a long time. He stood at your doorstep, heart racing, and palms sweaty, his usual confidence nowhere to be seen.
And he confessed. Nothing dramatics. Just a straightforward, “I love you.”
You'd stared at him as if trying to figure out if he was high. Or had hit his head somewhere. Or if he was simply horny.
But no. Then came his little speech. I know I don't deserve you. I was an asshole (of course he was). I was afraid (as if you weren't). And more than anything - I hurt you. And I hate myself for it. Ok now that you could work with.
But as hard as you tried, sometimes you just couldn't contain that bratty side of you (one that he apparently loved).
You crossed your arms, glaring at him like he’d just run over your dog.
“You can’t just waltz over here, say ‘I love you,’ and expect me to fall into your arms,” you snapped, looking infuriatingly hot with your brows furrowed and your lips pursed in defiance. “You rejected me, Minho. Do you know much that hurt me?”
His stomach twisted.
“I… I wasn’t ready -” he stuttered, looking terrified.
“Yeah, well, now I’m not ready,” you said, taking a step back and slamming the door in his face for dramatic effect.
You leaned against the door, fuming and freaking out all together. Your hands shook so hard as you wrapped your head around the fact that Minho just confessed to you and you slammed the door on his face.
And Minho stood in the hallway, a mix of shock, frustration, and - God help him - arousal bubbling under the surface. You were bratty when you were mad, of course. It made him want to kiss you and throttle you all at once.
---
Minho: She hates me.
Hyunjin: No, she doesn't. She slammed the door on your face didn't she?
Minho: How the hell are you so accurately right?
Jeongin: It's his thing.
Felix: What happened?
Jisung: Wait. Did you confess?
Minho: YES.
Minho: AND SHE SLAMMED THE DOOR IN MY FACE.
Hyunjin: Obviously.
Chan: So she didn’t say no?
Jisung: LMFAO.
Jeongin: She’s mad at you? Yeah, no shit, Sherlock.
Minho: SHE SAID A SIMPLE “I LOVE YOU” WOULDN’T WORK ON HER. WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!
Seungmin: It means she’s not an idiot.
Changbin: Exactly. You rejected her and took months to realize you’re in love. She deserves a little groveling.
Minho: GROVELING?
Felix: Oh, for sure.
---
He was not groveling. No way. Lee Minho didn't grovel. Hell no.
---
Jisung: Yeah, buddy. You gotta pull out all the stops now. Dinner, flowers, interpretive dance. The works.
Minho: STOP.
Hyunjin: Actually, the dance idea is kinda sexy. Imagine Minho doing a hip roll to apologize.
Felix: STOP IT. I’M WHEEZING.
Minho: CAN YOU ALL BE SERIOUS FOR TWO SECONDS?!
Chan: Look, the point is, you hurt her feelings. You need to show her that you’re serious.
Minho: How?! She's a damn brat. She enjoys torturing me.
Jisung: If she’s a brat, she’s gonna want to see you sweat.
Minho: She frustrates me.
Jisung: So you're sure you're just frustrated and not turned on right now?
---
Damn Jisung.
---
Jeongin: YAHHHH
Felix: You’re INTO IT???
Changbin: My man’s in love AND down bad.
Minho: Please.
Felix: Okay, focus. If groveling isn’t your style, do something you.
Hyunjin: Yeah. Seduce her with your weird cat boy energy or whatever.
Minho: You’re all useless.
Seungmin: Says the man who just admitted to being horny and clueless.
Chan: Minho, she clearly wants you to prove yourself. You’ve got to show her you’re willing to put in effort.
Hyunjin: Write her a song. Serenade her. Cry through it.
Minho: I don’t cry.
Jisung: LIES. I’ve seen you cry at those pet videos.
Minho: JISUNG YOU'RE DEAD.
Minho: What if she never forgives me?
Jeongin: She will. She’s just mad. Just play along.
Hyunjin: He’s right. Drama makes us hotter.
Minho: You're all insane 🙄
Chan: Insane but not wrong. Now, go apologize properly.
---
Minho paced his living room, his mind racing through ideas - romantic dinner? A heartfelt speech? Maybe just tossing himself at your feet and begging?
He needed a plan.
---
Minho: Fine. Give me ideas to make her forgive me.
Jisung: OHOHOHOHOHO.
Felix: Oh, this is gonna be good.
Hyunjin: Okay, everyone, let’s brainstorm.
Changbin: Classic dinner and flowers. Can’t go wrong.
Jisung: No, no. She’s mad. You need to go BIG. Like, dramatic big.
Minho: Like what? Fall to my knees in the rain?
Hyunjin: YES. Bonus points if you sob.
Minho: I’m not doing that.
Seungmin: You’re all useless. Look, Minho, she’s mad because you hurt her. You need to make her feel special. Do something that shows you actually care.
Jisung: STRIPTEASE.
Chan: Jisung.
Felix: WAIT. THAT’S ACTUALLY KIND OF FUNNY.
Hyunjin: Picture this. You show up at her door, music playing, and just start taking things off.
Minho: I want to win her back. Not make her think I'm horny.
Jisung: Coward.
---
Obviously he knew this would happen. He knew it.
---
Chan: Okay, let’s regroup. Minho, what does she like?
Minho: Being mad at me, apparently.
Jeongin: Sounds like she has taste.
Minho: She likes reading. And baking. And…dancing.
Felix: Aha! Bake her something!
Hyunjin: And while it’s baking, do a little dance. Shirtless.
Jisung: OOOH. Combine the ideas. Show up with baked goods and then do the striptease.
Minho: Oh my God.
Seungmin: You could apologize like a normal person, you know.
Felix: Where’s the fun in that?
Jisung: No, no. We need something iconic.
Felix: Okay, serious suggestion: Show her that you actually listened to her. Her favorite food? Or something thoughtful that shows you care about what she likes.
Minho: Like…?
Hyunjin: Cook her favorite meal.
Chan: Or bring her flowers that mean something.
Jisung: Or do the striptease.
Minho: STOP WITH THE STRIPTEASE.
Felix: It’s not a bad idea, you know. Women love confidence.
Minho: I’ll do the cooking idea. But if this backfires, I'm gonna hunt each one of you down and then see what happens.
Jisung: Lies. You’ll be back to cry about it.
---
Minho got to work. He spent hours perfecting your favorite meal, rehearsing his apology in front the mirror, and trying not to think about how much he wanted to kiss you. God, he just wanted to cuddle you and tell you how much his life sucked without you in it.
When he finally knocked on your door, you opened it to find him standing there, holding so many containers of food and looking uncharacteristically nervous.
“Hi,” he said, voice soft. “Can I come in?”
You crossed your arms, and sighed.
"Minho, I really don't have the time-"
"I made your favorite," he said, holding up the containers. "And I will grovel if that's what it takes."
You did love it when he cooked for you.
“This better be good.”
Minho stood in your living room, wringing his hands as you sat on the couch, glaring at him. He set the food on the coffee table and looked at you, his sharp tongue failing him for once.
“I was afraid,” he finally said, voice low.
“Afraid of what? Being happy?” You asked, arching an eyebrow.
Minho winced.
“Yes. No. I mean…God, I don’t know. You’re everything to me, okay? And I was scared I’d ruin it. And then I did ruin it, and now I’m standing here like an idiot, begging you to let me fix it.”
“You… you really mean that?” You asked, your voice softer now, your eyes obviously filling up with tears.
“I’ve been a mess without you. I love you and I’m sorry it took me so long to realize it, but I do. I love you, and I’ll spend as long as it takes proving it to you.” he whispered, and you sighed, standing up and stepping closer to him.
“You’re such a dumbass, you know that?”
“Yeah, I've been told.”
And then he cupped your cheeks with his hands and kissed you. Rough and messy, the tension melting away as your arms wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer.
“You better not mess this up.” you muttered against his lips.
“Not a chance.”
---
Minho: We’re trying the relationship thing.
Felix: OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!
Hyunjin: FINALLY.
Jisung: Thank you 🙏
Changbin: Congrats, lover boy.
Chan: Proud of you, Minho.
Felix: Did she like the food?
Minho: Um, it kinda went cold. She’s heating it up now.
Hyunjin: LMAO.
Jisung: What about the striptease? Did you do it?
Minho: 🙄🙄🙄
Jisung: ANSWER THE QUESTION, COWARD.
Minho: We did strip. So… hehe.
Felix: SIR.
Hyunjin: NOT THE “HEHE.”
Jisung: I CAN’T BREATHE.
Changbin: YOU DOG.
Chan: Minho, for the love of God.
Minho: You asked.
Jisung: My dude really said, “She forgave me, and then we got NAKED.” ICONIC.
Jeongin: Please. I just came here to see if Minho hyung was still single, and now I want to bleach my brain.
Chan: Can we not, for once, be so feral?
Hyunjin: You’re in the wrong chat for that, Christopher.
Jisung: Anyway, so… did you, like, destroy the house or… ?
Minho: I will never speak to any of you again.
Jisung: YOU CAN’T JUST DROP “WE STRIPPED” AND THEN LEAVE.
Felix: It’s called a cliffhanger, Ji. Let the man be mysterious.
Hyunjin: Yeah, mysterious about how whipped he is.
Felix: Totally
Divider: @saradika-graphics
Tags: @moonchild9350 @velvetmoonlght @eastjonowhere @pixie-felix @sailor--sun @chancloud8 @captainchrisstan @hansmic @emilyywhyy @hanadulsetaad
#skz#stray kids#lee know x reader#lee know x you#lee know x y/n#lee know fluff#lee know angst#skz x reader#stray kids x reader#stray kids fluff#skz fluff
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Random HC cuz' I'm bored
Take some silly lil' headcannones I'm writing while I take a break from writing "WHATS UP DANGER?"
Mina Ashido:
Huge DTI player, like, all day everyday. Vip? Check. Custom Makeup? Check. Faster walking? Check. Double money? Check. She has it all, including every code known to man
If she weren't a hero, she would've gone into something cosmetology related. Nails, hair, makeup, lashes, that kind of thing.
As a little kid, she had a birthday party where someone came as a party princess for her 4th or 5th birthday before her quirk came in. The princess was hugging the kids goodbye, and Mina was SUPER upset that her favorite princess had to go. She held onto the poor girl who was trying to get to another birthday party, and in that moment, Mina's quirk manifested, melting the sparkly pink princess dress, making Mina cry even harder.
"Oh no, I ruined your dress, I'm sorry princess!" "Oh, hon', it's okay- accidents happen." *cries even harder*
Denki Kaminari
Had a kick ass Pokémon card collection from elementary to middle school, and keeps it in his dorm but is afraid to show people because of rude ppl in middle school telling him Pokémon cards were dumb, including a girl he had liked
I can see him liking lemon water but fully denying it when people ask him
I can see his parents getting divorced when he was pretty young, and there was one time where his mom got a boyfriend he did NOT like at all, ended up electrocuting him multiple times before they ended up breaking things off
"Denks, hon', why don't you like him?" "He isn't good enough for you, mommy!" "Why do you say that?" "He doesn't like dinosaurs, who doesn't like dinosaurs?!"
Momo Yaoyorozu:
She LOVES a giant, juicy burger with everything; lettuce, tomatoes, onions, BACON, cheese, everything that belongs on a burger is there.
LOVE LOVE LOVES smutty romance books but won't tell a soul because people think it's weird/gross
At one point at UA, she had a huge thing where she was insecure about her stretch marks REALLY badly, but all the girls in 1A reminded her how beautiful she was and how her body didn't define her, ESPECIALLY YOUR GIRL (Y/N)
"God, I hate my stretch marks." "Girl, what the heck?! Why?" "I don't know... Just makes me feel... fat I guess." "If I ever hear you call yourself fat again I swear on All Might himself that I will slap you. Think of them like tiger stripes! Tigers are wickedly cool, strong, beautiful!"
Katsuki Bakugo:
Afraid for anyone to find out he needs hearing aids from his explosions
Intense skin care routine, has a headband and everything
He has reading glasses, and reads all the time in the comfort of his dorm. Hate me, but I can totally see him reading historical fiction books and wondering how people managed to do anything without quirks.
"Can you believe what it would be like without quirks?" "Not really, why?" "I'm reading this book-" "You read?!" "Shut the hell up! The book I'm reading talked about people in ancient Japan using bows and arrows to fight. Isn't that so weird to think about?" "Bakugo, what on Earth are you saying?" "God, you're too stupid to understand it. Forget it."
Tsuyu Asui:
Loves finger painting and will never stop
Multiple times as a teen, she would sneak out, not to do anything bad, no. She would sneak out to go to the ponds and chill with the frogs because they're most active at night
In elementary, she had this really mean kid that bullied her because of her quirk. This kid would make the most out of hand comments and really tried her hardest to annoy Tsu, but she just wouldn't budge. Until one day, she made a comment about her tongue, which was the final straw for her.
"Eww, why is your tongue so long?!" "Can you stop, please?" "Why would I do that? Your quirk is so- Ack! Ew, ew, ew, get it off me!" "I told you to stop." "Okay, okay! I'll stop, just get the stupid frog off of me!"
#bakugo fluff#fem reader#reader insert#x reader#fem!reader#fem!reader insert#x yn#mha#bnha#bakugo headcanons#bakugo x reader#bakugou imagines#bakugou katsuki#mha bakugou#momo yaoyorozu#tsuyu asui#mha x reader#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#my hero acedamia#mina#mina ashido#mha denki#denki kaminari#bnha denki#kaminari#mha kaminari#bnha kaminari#kaminari headcanons#denki
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if i was al gore i would NOT have fumbled tipper so bad after forty years of marriage. i would love her forever if i was him, she was honestly kind of out of his league. i could be her much younger lesbian lover
#I didn't know they were divorced. Why did they#al gore#tipper gore#anonymous confession#confessions
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https://x.com/snow_droplet/status/1865547272773107943?t=OrRO9eiW3eSiHoRz95mKoA&s=19
Love this, anon. There's such an interesting throughline in these stories where so many of these characters are desperate to be understood for who and what they are - it's arguably a built-in factor of the structure of the interviews/biographies as they're written as books - and the unknowability of a character like Gabrielle, and that deeply rooted desire to remain unknowable, really makes her such a point of difference to so many characters in the series. I just really adore her, and I can't wait to get to meet the show's version of her. I hope her and Lestat's relationship is as fucked up as possible, haha.
#i just know the show's going to go deeper than anne did into the louis-gabrielle dynamic too which i can't WAIT for#i kind of wish we saw the moment when armand realised lestat had never told louis about gabrielle too#do you think it delighted him?#both to have this part of lestat that louis didn't AND the new knowledge that lestat and gabrielle were no longer travelling together?#ugh i can't wait#the biggest crime is that gabrielle and florence never got to meet each other as cold emotionally distant mother's of insane sons#i know they would've hated each other <3#this is why we need more human aus#solely so they can be hideous to each other at events like lestat and louis' rehearsal dinner and the birth of their daughter#at the lawyers' offices during divorce negotiations#and obviously the second third and fourth weddings haha#gabrielle asks#lestat asks#gabrielle + lestat#iwtv asks#anne asks
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every so often I think about how my dad was doing ethical veganism for, like, seven solid years and spent the whole time talking about how he just couldn't stand to eat meat anymore because he's an empath and how the use of animal products is literally never and has never been morally excusable under any circumstances and then one day was like 'I bought a grill! check out these sick ribs I just made!' so extremely suddenly that all three of us kids were like '....?? .... meat ribs.....???' and when I finally asked him what was up he sent a shrug emoji and said he wanted to lose weight so he started keto
#INSANE. INSANE. INSANE!!#YOU HAVE THE MORAL BACKBONE OF A CHOCOLATE ECLAIR!!!#'it's so hard to find truly vegan stuff because of stuff like carmine' type of guy!#'what's a good vegan alternative to honey' type of guy!#'as your dad I feel guilty for being part of brainwashing you into the normalization of meat consumption' type of guy!!#'mmmm this pizza is SO tasty and no animals even had to suffer for it 😌' type of guy!!#KETO?? KETO??? FOR KETO???? TO LOSE WEIGHT?????#WHERE AM I!!!!#also WEIRD and ANNOYING FOR ME because like. it's possible to be vegetarian or vegan for reasons that aren't stupid#but a lot of his like. were not. that. but it's not even 'oh did you think it through and change your mind? oh. no? for a diet huh. hm.'#'you think your personal discomfort with eating meat points to an ontological ethical truth? but also you're dumping it for WHY???'#makes me CRAZY!!#BIG 'just divorced my vegan wife' energy but HE DIDN'T. SHE ALSO IS LIKE 'YAY RIBS NOW I JUST DECIDED :)' LIKE ????#my brother and I were messaging each other immediately like 'uhhh did YOU know about...?' 'NO???' 'OKAY WHAT THE FUCK'#and he said dad had just been talking to HIM like A WEEK PRIOR?? ABOUT HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND NON-LEATHER SEAT COVERS FOR HIS JEEP OR SMTH?#crazy! crazy!!!#about me
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sometimes my bestfriend is like an angel in disguise istg
#i was justttttt thinking that aw it's so sad that navratri music is playling everywhere and i don't have friends to go with#like last year atleast i had tuition sorta friends but now ive isolated them too it sucks#but i was like well it's okay ill do it when i grow up celebrate every festival i didn't get to in my house because we just never do#and then she calls and she's like let's go this club jahan every year famous hota hai full celebration#and i was like ehh i don't want to i don't even know how to play and ill have to convince dad for raat can't we just#go to a cafe or something dopahar mein uske liye i don't even need permission#and she even agreed but she sounded sad and disappointed about it so i was like well fuck it you want to go club na#and she was like yeahhh so i was like aagh okay and i asked and we're going tomorrow!!!!!#and it's so ridiculous like i just say i don't want to go but it's actually so exciting to go someplace other than a cafe!!!!#and i was complaining to her ki okay ill go but i won't dress up and five mins later me and mumma are making full outfit with dupatta#style decided jewellery she has saved for years that are specifically navratri types and she's like we'll get my blouse altered it's fine#you know being sick has really given me perspective on my parents#im not going to hate my mom anymore i never used to growing up i always thought she was brave but helpless#but a stupid day in 12th i realised when we were talking that technically she COULF get divorced she just#doesn't want to because she'll be alone and she thinks we're growing up and leaving anyway so why should she let go of financial#stability for us. which is wild to me because girl you can't buy anything you want without his permission so i don't understand what's the#point if he's rich or poor but whatever whatever she's been raised this way etc etc#but anyway being sick really made me realise who the real monster is😭 all dad did was shout horribly at me all the time#and was like don't you dare take meds they're fake this is all just junk food stop eating it and you'll be fine. when i was literally#having 103 FEVER.#and mom was the one who was making me different drinks juices cutting up fruits staying with me as i get my blood drawn#checking my fever sote jaagte#like wow i literally wouldn't have gotten better if it wasn't for her and i couldn't believe how attentive and nice she was being#like yes i understand she just thinks this is her duty she's just playing her role a mother a housewife but still#idk i just realized that okay atleast she's good at being a mother dad isn't even that why am i feeling good about him when his love#not even love his politeness is so fucking conditional#and mom healed me even tho i told her about clubbing and drinking lots of alcohol she's kinda against it because she's seen#horrible things in life family yucky men but still she understands ans trusts my sister mostly and know we just do it for fun and she#wasn't even mad!!!!!!! like wow ooay#moms love is actually not conditional for the first time in my life i felt like if i fall maybe she could be there to catch me and dad wld
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Cluemaster: Hey, bro, I know I never call...
Kiteman: You did drunk call me that one time.
Cluemaster: I already said I was sorry for spreading around that you were in love with your kite and calling you to brag about it. As you said I was hella drunk and angry your weird ass podcast somehow now has the same level of fans as my old gameshow. Who the fuck cares that much about kites? Or C list vilany?
Kiteman: Did you just call to remind me why I hate you?
Cluemaster: Of course not, Chucky boy, your my favorite lil bro.
Kiteman: Arthur... I'm your only brother.
Cluemaster: Yeah? You're still my favorite.
Kiteman: Okay. Fine. What do you want?
Cluemaster: You're good with kids right?
Kiteman: Oh do you want me to babysit little Steph? I haven't see her since she was a baby! That'll be soo much fun!
Cluemaster: Oh, no, no. She is too old for a babysitter. I kindda called 'cause I need your advice.
Kiteman: Sure. Go on.
Cluemaster: How would you stop a prank war between your teen daugther and your bussiness partner that happens to be living at your house?
Kiteman: Woah. Define prank war?
Cluemaster: Like they just being annoying with each other... like non-stop Shrek music and painting one of her walls green?
Kiteman: Are you working with a child, Artie?
Cluemaster: No. Childrem are not really good at puzzle robberies.
Kiteman: So who the hell is in a prank war with your fourteen year old daugther? Is it that Polka Dot weirdo?
Cluemaster: ... Riddler.
Kiteman: Be honest, Arthur.
Cluemaster: I am!
Kiteman: Why the fuck would he work with you? Didn't he like was brought on to one of your trials and tried to sue you for being a copycat?
Cluemaster: No idea. I don't really remember all my trials.
Kiteman: Fair. Still isn't he like an actual treat? Like Batman actually tries to be always involved in his crimes instead of just sending a Robin or a cop kindda treat? Or hangs out with Cooblepot and Harley Quinn and fucking Catwoman and even Scarecrow and Joker kindda treat?
Cluemaster: Yes, so what?
Kiteman: He is waaay above your league. How the fuck do you got him to work with you?
Cluemaster: He is working for me because he recognizes my genius.
Kiteman: *sarcasm* Yeah, sure. At least it explains why I've been hearing that your plans don't totally suck anymore.
Cluemaster: Will you help me or not?
Kiteman: Anything for little Steph. But seriusly bro, the guy is a mentally instable killer, he is real Arkham loonie, A-lister and all this shit are you sure is safe to have him living with you? Specially if he and Stephanie are fighting!? She is just a kid! What if this prank war thing escalates and next thing she is in saw type death trap or something?
Cluemaster: Well than help me not to! I can't just kick him out, do you know how much I've been proffiting later?
Kiteman: And also he is an instable killer that used to hate you and wouldn't react well to being kicked out?
Cluemaster: Yeah, this too. Look I think you're overestimating the guy. He is smart and all and he can take a punch but I could take him out real easy in a one on one. He screamed like a little girl when he found a roach in the kitchem. I think I'll be fine.
Kiteman: Sure, you do you.... Maybe.... you could just.... help them find something they have in common? A TV show they like or something. It used yo work with us. They will bond over the thing and forget they hate each other for a bit.
Cluemaster: See was it that hard to help me?
*Chuck hangs up*
[Three months later]
Cluemaster: Chuck! I need help!
Kiteman: Can you call in another time? I'm bowlling with the guys, Calendar Man and Condiment King cannot win a second time, one weird rap about their love conquering all was ENOUGHT.
Cluemaster: Is about the whole prank war between Nygma and Stephanie thing.
Kiteman: Oh. So I guess my advice didn't work.
Cluemaster: No, no, it did. It worked way to well actually.
Kiteman: *worried* That sounds bad.
Cluemaster: Yeah... it happened that the thing they had in common was that they really hate me.
#this might be the start of a brown family au#because i have a lot of feelings about them#for me kiteman is actually a pretty chill down to earth guy besides the whole kite crimes thing#and instead of the tragic backstory were his kid died in the dumbest riddler plan ever#he just always wanted to have a family but he is too akward and has some nd coding and didn't had the chance yet#so he wants to bond with steph because she is his niece and all#but he and arthur don't have a good or stable relationship and he haven't been there for steph and she doesn't even know about him#so he is just afraid of talking to her#he and arthur started fighting because their parents divorced when they were 13/15 and they stayed with different parents#also while i preffer charlie a lot Cluemaster is a B Lister here while Kiteman is a C/D Lister#Kiteman is friends with all Gotham C-listers with the exception of Polka Dot Man because they just don't hang in the same places#they have some misinformation about each other and think the other is a freak but they would be pals if they meet#cluemaster hangs with b listers and non gothamite c listers#chuck actually got relieved after the last bit cause he imagine grooming or steph becaming a killer or smt real bad#he actually likes Riddler a bit after that because sibbling rivalry and because he is starting to realize Arthur is a shitty dad#Eddie did try to sue Arthur in Arthur's first trial#he was called to testimony why Arthur shouldn't go to Arkham and it was when he discovered that you can't copyright a criminal mo#it was also his first time on trial cause some rogues are considered unfit to stand trial and he is one of them#riddler#edward nygma#stephanie brown#arthur brown#cluemaster#kiteman#chuck brown#cheatday is @sillymanwithocs ship I'm just borowing it
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Going through my old chats on this site and my heart hurts even more now
#i miss everyone#was looking at a chat with this girl who confessed her feelings for me when i was like 18 and i just got so overwhelmed and didn't know#what to do so we stopped taking#talking**#and years later in 2016 or something i found her blog again and messaged her to apologize cuz i just left her hanging like that and#explained myself#she updated me on how her and her daughter were doing and how she was divorcing the guy she had been with back then#man 2012/2013 was such a wild time for me on here#i also like online-'dated' this guy on here for like?? a month?? and he was so fucking stupid lmfao like i cringe thinking about it#also looked at a message from like last year from a random blog that didn't follow me and i never responded obv but he was like 'you're so#insanely gorgeous I'm sick that you're married 😩'#😂😂😂#definitely one of the more unique messages I've gotten#anyways I'm still not over the fact that sandrine just suddenly deleted#i never did ask Kim for her insta idk why#also miss Richie very very badly#i wonder what he's doing en#**rn
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any other jew-ish guys got a grandma who's like, really weird about it, or is that another hyperspecific life experience of mine
#txt#it's like. I didn't know my great grandparents. but my mom sure did#so i know enough things like that they were 100% ashkenazi conservative Jews who fled from Poland in the 1910s thereabouts#before they had my granma#but my granma somehow CONVINCED herself that her mother was lying about being born Jewish#and then a few years ago this became completely factually incorrect for 2 reasons: some aunts found some of my gg's records#and like yeah. yeah. her and great grandpa were definitely both from Jewish families.#and also my microbiologist sister was like im gonna get a dna test for funsies#and lo! she is about 25% Ashkenazi. i know those things are hit or miss really but there is no way a percentage that large is just bullshit#and my granma threw a whole fit. crying about it during dinner. and we're all just sitting there like. awkwardly#i do not know for certain why she is like this but i imagine it has something to do with her parents disowning her when she married#since great grandpa was Not Jewish. and then they only reinstated her when she got pregnant the first time#after she agreed to raise her kids Jewish#and she did make good on that! my mom and aunts and uncle all grew up going to the same conservative synagogue#my mom loved her rabbi apparently#but yeah as soon as she could granma fucked off and moved to England (she was divorced by then iirc) and she's been mad weird#about us being Jewish for my whole life#kudos to ya if u read all these oversharing tags lmao#whoops i meant to say grandpa wasn't Jewish in that earlier tag not great grandpa sorry
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There is a ravine somewhere containing all of the couples who toppled like dominos off the sidewalk because they persisted in holding hands instead of going single-file when other people were trying to go the opposite direction.
Honorable mentions also in the ravine: families of 5 or more and unreasonably large tour groups of matching ethnicity.
#it's me I'm the one shoving them off 😂😂😂😂#it's my honor-bound duty to improve the society these people are supposed to be living in#somehow couples will expand to take the entirety of the available space#and then they won't move for you#just today i encountered three people side by side by side coming my direction and eating the ENTIRE sidewalk#so i picked a side and did not stop#the fucking geniuses immediately peeled off to the side ... IN MY WAY. instead of the side that was free#well. like i said i did not stop.#they live in the ravine now#also i have nothing in particular against these tour groups#except for the fact that SOMEHOW. It's always the groups of matching ethnicity (doesn't matter which. pick one. i know you've seen them#which are UNGODLY large to an unmanageable degree. idk why they make them that way. i would never. i have more self respect than to settle#for THAT nightmare#anyway these groups do not care about you or where you're walking and they will also eat the entire path.#just the other day i was going the opposite direction with my umbrella. not hard to see.#and these people get right into your face before they realize you and the umbrella exist#and then they dodge like crazy because they couldn't bother to guide out of the way earlier#anyway this group also lives in the ravine#my favorite strategy (when i don't have an umbrella) is to just boldly go down the middle and watch people get mad for some reason#sorry but if you think you can take the entire damn path#then I'm picking my favorite direction and you will part like the Red Sea. bc clearly you didn't care before now what side you were on !#some of these people who live in the ravine have lost eyeballs to my umbrella. :')#anyway don't be like these jerks#the sidewalk is made for two direction#get the fuck onto your side and let people pass you#i WILL divide families from their children#i WILL enact sudden breakups and divorces#i WILL trim down these tour groups#if you cannot be considerate like the most rock bottom NORMAL person#humor. but is it really
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too busy
PARING: exhusband!drew x reader
SUMMARY: you and drew had been divorced for a little under a year now. while drew had your two kids this weekend, zach unfortunately let it slip, that mommy had a new "friend". drew was anything but thrilled.
WORD COUNT: 667 words
WARNINGS: possesive drew, angst, fluff, cursing, kids.
WILLA SPEAKS: hey! this is my first fic, on this blog, and i'm so excited!! please note that english is not my first language, so if any mistakes occur, i'm so sorry! enjoy<3
you stand outside his door, waiting for him to open it. you were a little nervous. you didn't exactly have a reason to be, but you were.
"y/n," drew says as he opens the door. "hi, baby, come in. the kids are in their playroom." he ushers you inside, hoping you didn't notice he let the nickname slip. old habits die hard.
you smile softly at the nickname but quickly stop once you notice. this is your ex. hell, not even just your ex—your ex-husband.
you follow him inside his new house. you liked it, though it did remind you of the house the two of you once shared.
"can i get you anything?" drew breaks the silence.
"you have tea?" you ask softly.
"the kettle is already on, sweetheart," he responds in the same soft tone. god, he knows me so well, you thought.
he finds a cup for you and starts preparing the tea. silence falls between you. it wasn't awkward per se, but not exactly pleasant either.
drew is the first to break the silence, still keeping all his attention on your tea. "zach says you've got a new friend." his tone is sharp, not at all soft like the one you'd heard just a couple of minutes ago.
a quiet "oh," was all you could muster up. you didn't know what to say. i mean, what could you say?
he turns his attention to you, handing you the cup of tea. "yeah, that was my reaction as well," he says bitterly.
you sigh. "come on, drew, don't do this." guilt written all over your face.
he lets out a dry laugh. "i didn't do shit, y/n."
"i'm allowed to move on, drew," you say softly, catching his gaze.
"the fuck you are," he sneers, placing his hands on the countertop. "i can't, so you don't get to either." his statement hangs in the air as you stare at each other.
you scoff. "no, you don't get to do this, drew. you fucked up. you didn't have time for us," you say, knowing how to hit him where it hurts.
"don't say that." he looks down, unable to meet your eyes.
"why not, drew? it's true," you state. "you were too busy with your big dreams, and, i mean, it worked out for you," you say, waving your arms slightly. "you have everything a man could want," you taunt.
"you know that's not true," he glares at you.
you shrug. "you can't have your cake and eat it too."
he scoffs at your comment. "right, okay. you're getting on my nerves, y/n," he bites. "you know how much i wanted to make this work. you know how much i love you—"
you cut him off. "loved."
"no, fuck that, and fuck you for saying it," he raises his voice at you. he doesn't do that often. "i'm sorry..." he takes a deep breath. "you know that i still love you. i just want another chance, y/n. let me show you that we can make this work," he says softly, reaching for your hand.
you shake your head at him. "we can't put the kids through another divorce, drew," you say softly.
"we won't," he says. "come on, y/n. we can make this work."
you sigh. "drew..."
"please," he says, bringing a hand up to caress your cheek.
"there's no new guy." drew stares at you, a little confused, waiting for you to continue. "that friend zach says he saw me with?" drew nods along. "it was chase."
"chase? as in my co-star chase?" drew asks, utterly confused.
"yeah... he and maddie came by to help me build a dresser." you bite your lip, your nerves taking over your body.
"oh," he falls silent.
"drew?" you ask.
"so, no new guy?" he asks with a glint of playfulness in his eyes.
"no new guy." you confirm.
"so... do you wanna marry me again..?" he asks.
"drew!" you exclaim with laughter as you smack his arm.
#drew starkey#willaminareads#drew starkey x reader#drew starkey imagine#drew starkey x you#drew starkey x y/n#obx#drew starkey obx#outer banks#rafe cameron#dad!drew starkey#ex!drew starkey
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"ex" husband
simon "ghost" riley
cw: pwp/smut, ex husband!simon, possessive!simon, dark themes, mirror sex & other smut, major red flags, proceed with caution, bad husband!simon, manipulation
bunny says: once you fuck crazy, you never not fuck crazy
simon didn't believe in divorce. he made a vow to be with you till death, he wasn't going to skimp out on the years you could spend together. he wouldn't accept that you wanted to be without him.
he had you on the floor of your shared bedroom, you were holding onto him behind yourself while his hands were on your hips. he was rubbing his cock up against your slick entrance.
"have you had any other guys over? fuckin' them in my bed, in my home that i paid for?" he held it over your head as he watched your face contort with pleasure. he continued to rub his tip up against your slit.
"no, simon." you panted. your heart raced with every moment that passed. your body was hot all over. "i haven't had anyone else, not since you." your pussy clenched around nothing in anticipation for what was to come. you were almost certain that your cunt was formed to the size of his cock.
"good, good. i don't want some fuckin' prick comin' to my home and fuckin' my girl." his voice was low as he got a hand between your legs and touched your clit with his rough fingers.
you arched your back and moaned out loud. you could be as loud as you needed to be. he kept his wife in a home far enough from everything that you could whimper and whine to your heart's content. your eyes fluttered closed as you felt the thrill of pleasure through your body.
"nothin' can have ya. no stupid asshole who thinks he can have what is mine. you made a promise, love. to be loyal to your husband." he growled as he gripped your jaw with his other hand and made you look into the mirror, "i don't think someone who wants to leave her husband would be lettin' him fuck her in their bedroom."
"simon, please." you whimper.
"nah, nah, love.' he said, accent heavier due to the immense lust in his body, "i was a good man to you. lovin', carin', did everythin' for ya. and you turn around like an ungrateful brat and try to leave me." his voice was getting deadly. his hand still held your jaw and his other played with your clit. you were stuck to him, "fuckin' slag. surprised you haven't fucked your way through the neighborhood to find a new man. because you'd never find one like me. or you're scared. scared i'd find him, and make him go missin'."
you swallowed, fear struck through you, "simon. i didn't sleep with anyone."
he buried his nose into your hair and groaned as his cock still prodded your pussy lips, "i know, i know. you don't actually want to leave me. your girlfriends got these thoughts into your head that i don't think are true. better without me? love, i made you."
you panted heavily, it was hard to look into the mirror with his hot words into your mouth. maybe he was right, maybe you didn't want to leave him. he had given you everything throughout your entire marriage. why would you sacrifice it?
he pulled his hand away from your pussy and guided his cock into your pussy. the stretch had you gripping onto him. the angle was awkward but he had you contorted to fit his pleasure.
"my good wife." he purred, "i'll always love you. even when you're not usin' that head of yours right. but don't worry." he kissed your cheek, "i'll always take care of my girl."
you held onto him as he thrusted into your from behind. you felt the air leave your lungs whenever he pushed into you. it was an intense feeling on your behalf. you had never imagined that fucking your soon-to-be ex-husband would feel so good.
"like that, love?"
you nodded meekly, "it feels good."
"that's a good girl." he groaned, "made perfectly for me. you are such a good girl for me, love. why would you want to go anywhere? stay with me, keep your vow."
your thighs quivered from the intense feeling of pleasure. your breathing was heavy and your head felt full. your heart leapt every time his cock nudged against a sensitive spot.
"please, simon. i can't be your wife."
"you can. and you will." he took you by the face and tilted your head back so he could kiss you passionately.
you melted into the kiss, as did the last of your resolve. your core throbbed with a need for him. he melted away all your problems. the more he fucked you, the more you wanted to stay with him.
he was your husband after all.
the sex between you two was hot and messy. it made you core soaked as he continued to bully his cock into your sweet cunt with every hard thrust.
"say you love me."
"i love you." you replied, your eyes hooded.
"good girl." he groaned, "i want to hear that every day until you can no longer speak." he licked across your bottom lip, "my good girl."
you whined as your body shook with each thrust of his hips. your pussy clenched around his cock. you felt your mouth to be dry and you voice strained.
simon loved taking you apart, only to put you back together. he continued to fuck you with abandon. he gazed at you with his nose in your hair as he thrusted up into you.
your noises were so cute, you really just were so small compared to him. you needed him! what were you thinking leaving him? you needed your big strong military husband to make sure that you were safe. don't be silly now!
he kissed your neck as he felt the surge of pleasure in his gut. his heart hammered with each every thrust. you were made for him. as he kissed the tip of your ear, he felt the blush that spread across your skin.
"please, simon."
"i got ya, love." he said, "i got ya." with a few more thrusts that hit in just the right place. you saw stars as you climaxed around his cock. his was soon to follow as his cum hit the back of your womb.
where it belonged.
as you rested your face on the carpet of the bedroom in an effort to cool down, simon grabbed your hips and started to thrust into you once more. his cock still painfully hard.
"you've done enough damage, love. so just sit there and let your husband take care of you." his voice was low and deadly. your best option would to just let simon do what he wanted.
-
"so mrs. riley. you've decided against the divorce. any particular reason why?"
you relaxed a little bit in the sleek office chair across the desk from your lawyer. your hand was on your middle as you smiled, "well, we're having a son soon, and he needs his father in his life. so i reconsidered."
"the case against your husband is fairly strong. broken locks on the door, his overly possessive behaviour, the text messages and voice mails, all of it. you could be granted a divorce quite easily."
you shook your head, "no need. we've worked it out." you smiled at the lawyer. you knew your simon was waiting for you in the car. his words echoed in your mind as you assured your lawyer that her services weren't needed.
you and simon were properly a family now. you didn't need to tear it apart. after all, how else were you going to end up with many little rileys running around?
#call of duty#bunny writes#reader insert#call of duty modern warfare#bunny speaks#call of duty smut#simon ghost riley#call of duty x reader#ghost call of duty#simon ghost riley fanfiction#ex husband simon#simon my beloved#simon ghost#ghost mw2#simon ghost smut#ghost smut#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley smut
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mdni | part one
"wife? " you hadn't meant to ask that out loud, nor did you mean to add a bite to your tone as you held the spatula when your gaze met john's, hurt gracing your features and a pout on those lips he couldn't get enough of last night.
your dad was oblivious thankfully as his attention turned to the food you were making peeking over your shoulder. he was grateful for you to be staying with him, his cooking skills have never been the best.
john cleared his throat and took a seat on the barstool. "we're in the middle of a divorce, she's been dating her coworker since the beginning of this year." he confessed and explained to you in one breath.
"what? you two have been together for years." it was impossible not to turn around and glance at the man you now felt sympathy for, she was cheating on him and going through a divorce because of it.
before john had the chance the answer the doorbell rang pulling your dad away from the kitchen but not leaving without kissing your head and patting john's shoulder. once the coast was clear you sighed.
a thick tension filled the room as you struggled with what to say.
well, at least he wasn't a cheater. "sorry i didn't tell you doll, i didn't think you were interested in an old man like me anyway, last night took me by surprise." john murmured gazing at you wearily.
"old man? good thing for you that the geriatrics are my thing and i'm sorry to hear your wife is such a bitch, why would she cheat on you?"
your dad seemed to have a knack for interrupting your conversations and you thanked your lucky stars his habit didn't shine it's ugly head last night as you were bouncing up and down his friends dick.
the questions that burned the tip of your tongue were beginning to start to ache, you wanted to know more about john. you were too busy with your mouth on his cock last night to ask anything else.
you two started to flirt a bit after dinner then when your dad went upstairs for the evening your flirting became more erotic and graphic then you finally bared your tits for john and that's how you ended up spread eagle getting your pussy ate like it was his last fucking meal.
you could still feel the soft ache between your legs making you flustered. "duty calls, i have to go in and help real quick. you'll two be okay without me?" your dad asked not knowing about the plans you made.
john answered for you and graciously took the bowl from you daring to give you a wink when your dad's back was turned, it was a bastard thing to do but when your pussy was milking him for everything he had it was too good not to get addicted to.
as soon as the door shut and locked you were on john like a moth to flame, your arms wrapping around his neck to smother him in kisses. "i was going to rip your dick off after i told my dad about last night.'
he held you close as you stood between his spread legs. "last night you barely gave me time to say anything then you were waving your nipples in my face and you started it first sweetheart." john hummed.
"i suppose i did but you were giving me 'fuck me' eyes, and you flirted heavily with me too!" you laughed and tossed your head back making john feel much younger than he has, it's not often he wanted to have sex before but now he wouldn't mind taking you again.
#dw he's not what y'all thought#honeywrites#call of duty x reader#call of duty#cod smut#cod x reader smut#john price x you#john price cod#captain john price#john price smut#john price x reader#john price x y/n#john price x plus size reader#captain price x reader#captain john price x you#captain john price x reader#price smut#price x you#cod john price
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DCXDP Prompt 13 :
@demonic0angel I'm gonna borrow a bit of your 'First Burn' Prompt If ya don't mind <33 just a teeny bit(cuz song hehe) and make it more ANGSTY!!
Danny and Bruce are divorced, Only Dick knew they were together, Danny and Bruce's love started in college, oh how their love and passion were true and gentle, everyone around them wished them happy memories.
But as Bruce took the Mantle of Batman, He never told Danny, neither did Alfred have the heart to tell Danny that he was always getting into dangerous situations as he roamed around Gotham as a Vigilante, Sneaking out at night from their bed.
Bruce and Danny both adopted Dick, Little Richard 'Dick' Grayson, Danny's little boy, his precious little star. Bruce saw how much Danny cared for Dick, Bruce thought Dick could be a distraction for Danny so Danny doesn't notice his secret Vigilante nightlife.
....
Danny knew. He knew everything alright. Danny tries to not cry every night as he feels Bruce sneak away in the middle of the night, every whispers of love that Bruce utters to Danny felt like lies, Danny knew he had secrets too, His Past Vigilante life as a teenager is something he never told Bruce.
But this is something Danny is slowly breaking himself into denial, His husband is a vigilante, that's fine, he was fine with that, but the way he interacted with other women made Danny's heart break, even other heroes... Too close, Too Intimate, Too Comfortable.
Danny stopped following Bruce everytime he left by that time, he felt so hurt and so insecure of himself everytime he saw 'Batman' Interact with those others so.. closely.
It made Danny's core scream in doubt and his emotions derailing into confronting Bruce.
He thought Confronting Bruce about his nightly sneaking would get Bruce to finally trust Danny with the information about Him being Batman but no, it made Danny doubt so much more, Days of constant fight and reuniting, His Little Boy, Dick , and Alfred was the last thing keeping Danny in mental order, Organized and Composed as he always should be. Even if Bruce is Acting like a Playboy Brucie Wayne.
He tried to do what Jazz would have done but nothing FUCKING worked and Danny was always on edge, he felt that everything his husband said was a lie, he loved Bruce but why won't Bruce trust him? Please... please, just tell him the truth, I won't be mad. Please. Just tell me. Tell me everything. TELL ME! PLEASE! IM BEGGING YOU! JUST TELL M—
Danny loves Bruce, But as day passes, that love slowly felt one sided.
....
Dick didn't mean it, it was supposed to be a harmless little prank, he didn't know how rocky Bruce and Danny's Marriage was, he didn't know. He really didn't.
He didn't know a picture of Batman with Selina would seal it off. He didn't know a single lipstick would finish it all. He was only a child. It was his fault. He felt that it was his fault— why wouldn't he? He didn't know.. he really didn't.
Danny and Bruce screamed, it was nothing that Dick could have ever heard before, he didn't know at all. He really didn't.... It was only supposed to be a prank.. He didn't mean it...
...
Bruce soon took in Jason, Dick noticed how much Jason looked like Danny, Dick wanted to yell, he wanted to scream at Bruce, He wanted to confront him about passing the mantle to Jason— but... It's no use fighting against someone that's like Bruce. Not like Batman.
Dick secretly kept contact with Danny and his Family, Dani And Jazz was still his aunt as they lived in Bludhaven, he could always go to them as Nightwing and they'd know to help him without questioning. Dick felt bad everytime he did. He felt as though he was burdening the family of the person who's marriage he ruined, his own Father.
The only Father who could actually handle and was a real father.
Everything passed by so quickly.
Jason Died.
Tim Was adopted and he became Robin.
Jason came back to life.
Dick immediately took Jason to Danny.
Damian Came into their lives. Dick felt his blood Boil when Damian did but he couldn't blame Damian, Dick accepted Damian with a whole heart, acting like the Danny which the Manor Lost because of Bruce.
He will be the person who loved everyone, just like Danny, even if sometimes it's tiring— he just needs to keep being the Father of these children that Bruce struggles to be, It's the only Way Dick could honor Danny.
...
Bruce misses Danny Dearly, he regrets many things.
But the one he regrets the most is...
Losing Danny.
Danny and Bruce are Divorced Because Bruce Fucked up with being Batman and didn't tell the truth, Dick wanted to do a little prank cuz a kid will do pranks and snuck a lipstick on Bruce's coat and a picture of Selina with a kiss mark on it. Danny and Bruce's marriage are rocky as fuck, Dick secretly takes the other Wayne kids to Danny and they come to love Danny as their father much like Dick is attached to Danny, Jazz and Dani are the Wayne's Therapists. Specifically Jazz, she's the Best, Uncle Dan is Jason's Favorite mechanic.
Bruce Misses Danny dearly and wants him back and will try and probably try to court Danny again, nonstop as Batman, Danny still loves Bruce and hadn't moved on, His core is very much attached and embedded in the memory and love of Bruce Wayne, thus he is just waiting for Bruce to finally step up.
Yes this was Angsty, I apologize <33 but yes.
#danny phantom#danny fenton#dc x dp#danny phantom fandom#dp x dc#dcxdp#dcu#dp x dc crossover#dc x dp crossover#dpxdc#possible spirit halloween ship#that's reunited aka getting back togethe#spirit halloween ship#spirit halloween#dcxdpdabbles#dpxdc prompt#dpxdc prompts#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc au#dp x dc prompt#dcxdp prompt#dc x dp prompt
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Eyes Wrapped in Wool
Yandere! (ex) husband x amnesiac! fem reader
TW: manipulation, toxic/abusive behavior, mentions of (potential) forced imprisonment, coercion A/N: pretty sure amnesia doesn't work this way (i'm no medical professional) but pls suspend disbelief for the sake of the plot ahahah
Your husband never expected things to turn out this way. But by some stroke of luck—or perhaps divine intervention—you ended up bed-ridden in the ICU, suffering from multiple bone fractures and a terrible, oh-so-terrible, traumatic brain injury. Just last week you were talking his ear off about how you've had enough. How you were done with him controlling what you could wear or who you could see, his suffocating clinginess that devolved into explosive rages when you spent time focusing on work or with friends instead of with him, the negging, the snooping, the smashed plates... Jesus Christ. You just never knew when to shut the fuck up, did you? At some point he had stopped listening. Chalked off your dramatic tirade as nothing more than you acting up because of your period—merely white noise. How many times have you guys had this same broken record conversation? Yeah, he knew this marriage wasn't smooth-sailing. If it were, you'd be less opinionated, less bitchy, more pliant, more dutiful. But what relationship was ever perfect? So, he waited for you to run out of steam, as you inevitably do, before adding salt to the wound:
“You know baby, if you weren’t parading around in those slutty clothes of yours and acted your grown age for once, I wouldn’t be behaving that way.”
The scrunch of disbelief mixed with disgust on your face only spurred him to double down. “And maybe if you actually committed to this marriage like a devoted wife would, rather than prioritize your career and practically everyone over me—your husband, need I remind you—then we wouldn’t be having these issues. Ever considered that, hm?” He purposely dragged out his words, a patronizing lilt to his tone, in hopes of reminding that thick, dumb skull of yours that he always knew best.
It wasn't until you had thrusted the divorce papers in his face that he grew silent, the severity of the situation beginning to creep in. ...What? You couldn't actually be serious... right? This was just some lover's spat. A temporary blip that'd be smoothed over with a few intentionally placed saccharine words and hot make-up sex. Like always. So why the fucking theatrics? Are you really gonna be a bitch about this and d— When you slammed the front door shut with your packed bags in tow, leaving him to stew in your parting words—that you deserved better, so much better than him, and that if he didn't sign the papers, he'd be hearing from your lawyer—did the gravity of it all finally sink in. By the end of the week, your voicemail was battered by his countless furious messages. Are you done being a flighty little piece of shit, huh? What the fuck do you think you're doing? I swear to god, baby, I'm gonna drag your ass back here. And if I have to lock you in some basement and chain your hands and legs so you'd never think to leave me again, then so fucking be it. Divorce? Yeah right. Over my dead fucking body. Then came an unknown call. It was like whiplash, really, to first hear that you had been involved in a major car crash, and then, upon rushing to the hospital at neck-breaking speed— "I'm afraid she has retrograde amnesia", the doctor solemnly informed him. He could cry. Oh, he could fucking cry.
On the outside, anyone could see how distraught he was, his hands trembling as he processed the diagnosis, eyes glistening with unshed tears. Poor husband that he was, having almost lost his beloved wife in a freak accident, he now had to deal with the news that she didn't remember who he was. Inside, however, raged a war he couldn't reconcile: what was harder? Holding back the tears, or pretending those very tears were out of sadness rather than pure, unbridled joy? Because what this neatly packaged situation had presented him with was a do-over, a chance to mend the broken marriage teetering on the cusp of divorce. And like hell he's about to let you throw away a three-year connection like some ungrateful cunt when he loves you so, very much.
~
"Hey sweetheart, how are you feeling?"
As he walks up beside your hospital bed, he can't help but revel at how vulnerable you look. The slight furrow in your brows hinting at your confusion, the way you curl in on yourself as if to protect yourself from who is no doubt a complete stranger in your eyes, and your meek "Who are you?"—a far cry from the usual feisty, snarky attitude you used to dish out.
But perhaps most rewarding of all is the tentative gaze you offer him, eyes filled with a sort of curious glimmer, free from the hostility, disappointment, and hurt you'd flashed his way. You didn't look at him with hate. You simply want to know who he is.
Oh, aren't you precious? He'll gladly feed you his carefully spun narrative until you're full of nothing but adoring love for him—the embers of your thoughts about divorce and leaving him snuffed out for good.
"I know how confusing all of this must be for you. Take all the time you need. I'll be right here with you, as your husband, helping you fill the gaps, okay baby?" He delivers this with as much patience as he can muster, softening the edges of his words to avoid spooking you. But you're not soothed. If anything, you're more overwhelmed than ever. "M-my husband?" You echo, tasting the foreign word, sticky like warm toffee on your tongue.
"And...and my family? Where are they?" Your disorientation is a sight for sore eyes; how badly he wants to devour you right now. “Dead,” he intones, a script he’d been desperate to act out ever since you said your vows. The jarring news pulls a barely audible whimper from you, your eyes widening a fraction.
Shit. Too cold. Too careless.
His expression softens, the corners of his mouth tugging downward in a facsimile of sorrow as he injects a note of pity into his voice. “They died when you were very young, you see. I’m sorry.” He’s really not.
"What…? How could that be? So my p-parents, they're both—" Your breath hitches, tears welling at the corner of your eyes.
At that, he gently grabs your bandaged arm, wanting to comfort you. But when you flinch slightly, he has to resist the urge to snap at you—Oh, cry me a river. Who the fuck cares?? I'm right here, aren't I? I'm right here, damnnit, so look at me!
Instead, he tempers the resentment that's still fresh in his heart after the divorce stunt you'd pulled by reminding himself that he's supposed to be your kind and gentle partner.
So he settles for cradling your hand in both of his like it's fine china, grazing his lips over your fingertips. "But you have me, sweetheart. And I'm not going anywhere."
He half expects you to question his story—it wasn’t very convincing, even to his own ears—prepared to be barraged by your endless streams of “No, you’re wrong!”, “I don’t believe you!” or some other similar outburst.
But when all you do is gaze up at him with cinched brows, seeking reassurance, blinking at him so sweetly with your hand still snugly warmed in his, he pauses. That’s it? No suspicion, no skepticism, no outburst? Hah! He has to physically restrain himself from snorting because how fucking easy can this get?
Maybe the collision had completely scrambled your brains, rewired you to be more stupid, a little slower—exactly how he likes you.
"You trust me, right?"
And when he feels that subtle twitch of your fingers—what he gathers is your attempt at squeezing his hand back for confirmation—accompanied by the sight of your small, almost shy nod, he breaks out into a giddy smile at how utterly adorable you’re being.
Fuck, it’s hard not to already feel high off these micro-doses of innocence and receptiveness from you. Emboldened by your intoxicatingly sweet naivety, he dares to be a little greedier, creeping to perch on the edge of your bed, his hand now moving to cup your cheek.
“You have no idea how worried sick I was when I got the call. I thought you had…” He trails off, his implication clear. His face is mere inches from yours now, breaths as featherlight as his fingertips mapping every divot on your face.
“I love you.” He drags his thumb across your bottom lip, the act agonizingly slow. “So, so, so much.” Each whisper spills out heavier than the last, mirroring the increasing pressure of his thumb—your lip almost bruising from how hard he’s pinching them.
How long has it been? He can’t remember the last time he felt the warmth of your touch, your skin… eons too long without your pillowy lips pressed against his has left him completely starved.
“You can’t leave me…” A murmur too quiet to pick up. His gaze, now half-lidded, drifts downward in a drunken daze. “My wife. My good little wife. You love me too, right?”
Without warning, he leans in to close the minuscule gap.
And it’s all too fast and soon because you can feel the suffocating heat of his proximity, the chilling shared breath floating between the tight space. It’s all too much. So, in the last second, you hesitate, pulled from your stupor as you turn your head away.
But he’s not having it. Not when you’re already in the palm of his hand and he’s so fucking close. When he can already taste the opportunity to finally take out the trash and parasites leeching off you, to call up that godforsaken shithole you call a stable, steady-paying job and quit on your behalf, to have you all to himself—a blank slate to knock up with several kids and mold into the perfect little housewife he's always wanted you to be. God, he's already hard at the thought.
Grabbing your jaw firmly, he jerks your face back towards him, thumb roughly wedging between your lips and prying your mouth open.
“Baby.” The endearment spills out, sharp and cold, stripped of any warmth it might've once held.
His gentle veneer cracks ever so slightly, and for the briefest moment, you see something else. A flicker beneath the mask—raw, ugly, messy. It gnaws at the edges of your mind, dredging up something you can’t quite grasp. A memory?
“Gimme a small kiss, hmm?” Despite the smile on his face, there is no kindness to it. Just a twisted caricature warning you that you shouldn’t push further.
All of a sudden you feel like you can’t breathe, weighed down by the unsettling intensity of his stare. The man in front of you—the one claiming he's your husband and calling you “baby,” the one touching you—feels wrong. He’s a stranger, you remind yourself. An almost involuntary shiver runs down your spine, like your body remembers something your mind refuses to.
At this point, your husband has caught on to your rather obvious spiralling. He’s not an idiot—he can see your doubt giving way to panic. He contemplates smoothing things over by playing nice, but the selfish part of him ultimately wins.
He squeezes your jaw, nails biting into your skin.
“Kiss me.”
It isn’t a request this time.
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sex pollen f!reader with ex-husband john price
it was your last mission with him. the ink on the divorce papers had dried, been filed away and fully set. his things out of your shared house, shipped off to an apartment address you tried not to memorize. unfortunately, the mission required both of your unique skillsets, and although kate promised she'd try to separate the two of you, the mission came first. it always did.
"clear." you finished exploring the abandoned lab for hostiles, now focusing on finding the hard drive you'd been sent for. "should be on bottom drawer of-" "i know, john." it was completely inappropriate to address him like that, ignorant of any call sign, but he'd put on his nagging tone and really, you couldn't be bothered. that's what you told yourself later on, why you missed the blinking red sensor as you tugged the hard drive out of its hiding spot - too preoccupied with your ex-husband, the whole reason you didn't want to be on a mission with him. it was only when you heard the click, unnoticeable to the untrained ear, you realized you'd gone wrong.
"shi-" you were cut off with a blast of yellow powder to the face, the force of it knocking you to the ground. you fumbled for your comms, hands unsteady in the face of your lack of attention. "im hit, some sort of powder. bioweapon? in the control room." john was there in seconds, craddling your head like you were something precious and not a representation of his failed marriage. "'s it hurt, love? c'mere, let's get you up." he pulled you into a sitting position, wiping the powder off your eyes with gloved hands. miraculously, you felt fine, more embarrassed than anything. the powder clogged your airways but you didn't feel any damage, no signs of poison. "she's fine, bit woozy. can y' check wha' it was, watcher? sendin' a picture of the cannister over." he helped you stand, hands checking you over with too much familiarity. you almost flinched at it before remembering he was helping you. his touch was warm and unyielding, like it used to be. it sent an unusual tingle down your spine, which you smartly ignored.
"let's get ya t' the safehouse. need a shower, sweetheart." he was being overly nice as he escorted you there, nothing like the cold captain you were used to. his voice dripped like honey down your throat and an unfamiliar rush of something ran through your body. his presence was all-consuming and you needed to get away. you entered the nearby house - a one bedroom modern cabin, surprisingly nice - and immediately headed towards the bathroom, locking yourself inside. you quickly stripped down out of your gear, washing the powder off your face and clearing your vision. you took a look at yourself in the mirror: face flushed, pupils wide, beads of sweat forming on your forehead. unbelievably, the sight sent a spark to your core. you looked downwards, noting the wet spot on your underwear. it happened sometime in between john's hands checking you over and his gruff voice in your ear. two fingers dipped down between your folds, and you withdrew them to see gleaming wetness, the type you only got when you were ovulating.
shaking it off, you decided to take a shower. the water was thankfully warm as you stepped into it, letting the remaining powder and grime of the mission wash off you. you turned to face the water stream and sighed as it hit your tits almost perfectly. despite the heat, your nipples were hard and achy, the water stimulating them more and more. you weren't usually this sensitive, most times needing a while to get this horny. as if guided by a mysterious force, you detached the showerhead and ran it along your body. it was warm and comforting and hot, temporarily relieving you of your bodily ache. you brought it down towards your aching cunt, other hand grabbing your breast harshly. your core tightened quickly, your brain sending an image of john's concerned hands on your waist, the gentleness of his touch. it was the quickest orgasm of your life - two minutes and you were whining into your fist. of course, the ears of john price missed nothing.
john swore he didn't mean to. he'd been trying to obey these walls you put up, this divorce you made him agree to, your coldness on missions. anything to keep you in his life somehow, to show that he could be good. but really, moaning in the bathroom attached to the bedroom he was currently pacing in? remembering the way your pupils blow wide when you come, the frazzled expression you give on the come down. it was starting to fuck with his head, especially as he heard the shower turn off. suddenly, john remembered all you had were your pollen-dusted clothes and there wasn't anything in the safehouse, all moth-bitten and dusty fabric. without thinking, john took off his tac vest and the shirt underneath it. he approached the door with caution, knocking hesitantly. "love? got you a shirt if y' need it?"
the bathroom door opened with a blast of hot air, the steam beading on your forehead and dripping down your extremely naked body. one he hadn't seen in months since you started keeping yourself from him. "sweetheart." you shook your head wordlessly. "it hurts, john." it came out in a whine as you walked closer to him, eyes scanning his naked torso. "what hurts, baby?" you almost whimpered at his tone, the yearning behind him. in a move that was uncharacteristic of your usual dynamic, you backed him into the bed, letting his knees hit the mattress until he was sitting, a wide-open lap for you. "everything. 'm so sensitive." you practically moaned the last part as you stepped up to straddle him, naked cunt settling directly on the rough fabric of his cargos. you were seeping wetness, could feel it staining his pants as you held john's confused gaze.
"'s the drug, sweetheart. y' don't really want this." you shook your head again. he wasn't getting it, this deep-rooted need for him in your bones. john's hands, shaking by the looks of it, came to rest on your waist, which simply wouldn't do. quickly, you snatched a calloused paw and dragged it down to your slick, moving his fingers through your folds for him. he let out a content growl, pressing his palm against your clit harshly. your body was on fire, flames licking everywhere. just so sensitive, every touch amplified tenfold. he was all you could think, smell, see: strong, capable, wanting. your hips bucked against his palm, moving with ease through your wetness. "been wanting you for ages, john. 's not the drug."
sometimes, john wished he was a better man. this was not one of those times. a better man would take you off his lap and lock himself in another room. instead, john followed the rhythm of your hips, letting you grind your puffy clit against his weathered palm. your pants were loud, unbidden, and he could feel your orgasm approaching, the fastest it had ever come. "gonna come so fast, wife?" you nodded, closing your hands as you rode him faster, sounds of your slick growing louder. "not your wife, john." suddenly, just as you felt the start of your orgasm, he took his palm away, fiery eyes lit with contention. "only my wife gets to come." you frowned at that. "you won't help me?" he didn't answer, instead tugging down his stained cargos and pulling out his cock. you bit your lip at the sight - it had been so long since you'd seen it. girthy and veined, perfect to fill the aching inside of you. john gave it a few pumps with the hand that had been getting you off, your residue wetness the perfect lube for him. "say it and i'll let you sit on my lap."
that's when you noticed, conveniently, that he still had his wedding ring on. it had been gliding through your folds but you'd been too fucked out to notice. your orgasm was still fluttering in your stomach, sustained by the sight of him fucking his fist. "c'mere, wife. say it." john's brows were furrowed, eyes a dark blue you'd only seen in the times after kitchen arguments and messy fights. something about the rawness of his expression hit your heart where it ached. a lonely gap only he could fill. "fine." you stalked over from where you'd been standing. he moved further back on the bed, shucking off his pants so he could move his hips better. "fuck me, husband." straddling him again, this time with your hands on his shoulder, you sheathed yourself on his cock in one swift movement, sliding down easily. your clit was so sensitive, inner walls begging for friction, that the moment you gave him an experimental grind, you came, harder than you ever had in your life.
"cunny so needy, huh baby?" john took to your hips, fucking you on his lap as rode out your orgasm. you nodded, pushing closer until your hardened nipples scrapped his chest hair, your head tucked into the crook of his neck. "john, they hurt." one hand left you to cup your breast, his fingers squeezing and pulling. any other time and the movement would have left you pushing him off, but you could only moan loudly, pleading for him to continue. he knew the perfect angle, knew to move somewhere between a grind back and forth while fucking you up and down, perfectly hitting your clit every time. a coil grew in your stomach, emboldened by the manly scent of his musk, the grunts pouring out of his mouth. "john, john. need to come." he tweaked your nipple harder, like he was experimenting with how far he could go, how much pain the drug would cover. "beg me, wife."
the world spun as he flipped you on your back, gathering your wrists in a strong grip as his other hand made his way to your neck, squeezing softly. his thrusts were more controlled now, his weight pushing you into the mattress, like you couldn't ever leave. "go'on. you know what to say." his possessiveness bled through his words, his grip bruising and definitely marking you. you couldn't seem to care, too wrapped up in the way he immediately took charge of your needs. "please, husband. john. need to come." his grin was disarming, charming beard counteracting his feral smirk. the hand left your jaw to squeeze your nipples, then moved to your clit, puffy and needy. he rubbed it once, twice, three times, whispering "then come, sweetheart," as the coil in your belly finally snapped. he came undone at the feeling, your walls clenching to hold his cock in as he pumped more cum into you.
you'd missed exfil, actually. two days, forty-eight hours, of nonstop fucking the drug out of you. bent over the arm of the singular couch in the living room. bruises on your ass when you got bratty about his recovery time. hickies on your neck, tits, thighs. pretty sure you'd left the cabin devoid of water when john used the detachable shower head for an hour until your poor cunny was raw and overstimulated. then he put you on your knees and well, that was the only break you needed.
in between mandatory naps, you felt the drug wear off. that confidence draining slightly, your slick dying down. you turned to john, naked and knocked out next to you, and ran your hands through his beard until he woke. blue eyes fluttering, trying to figure out if you wanted another round. "let's go home, john." the sultry tone was gone from your voice but somehow, you looked at him with just the same amount of affection. "alrigh' sweetheart, let's go home."
--
MORE JOHN PRICE
sex pollen solves all marital problems! sorry this took so long, i was too sad to write smut.
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