#he actually likes Riddler a bit after that because sibbling rivalry and because he is starting to realize Arthur is a shitty dad | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

just-an-enby-lemon · 2 years ago

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Cluemaster: Hey, bro, I know I never call...

Kiteman: You did drunk call me that one time.

Cluemaster: I already said I was sorry for spreading around that you were in love with your kite and calling you to brag about it. As you said I was hella drunk and angry your weird ass podcast somehow now has the same level of fans as my old gameshow. Who the fuck cares that much about kites? Or C list vilany?

Kiteman: Did you just call to remind me why I hate you?

Cluemaster: Of course not, Chucky boy, your my favorite lil bro.

Kiteman: Arthur... I'm your only brother.

Cluemaster: Yeah? You're still my favorite.

Kiteman: Okay. Fine. What do you want?

Cluemaster: You're good with kids right?

Kiteman: Oh do you want me to babysit little Steph? I haven't see her since she was a baby! That'll be soo much fun!

Cluemaster: Oh, no, no. She is too old for a babysitter. I kindda called 'cause I need your advice.

Kiteman: Sure. Go on.

Cluemaster: How would you stop a prank war between your teen daugther and your bussiness partner that happens to be living at your house?

Kiteman: Woah. Define prank war?

Cluemaster: Like they just being annoying with each other... like non-stop Shrek music and painting one of her walls green?

Kiteman: Are you working with a child, Artie?

Cluemaster: No. Childrem are not really good at puzzle robberies.

Kiteman: So who the hell is in a prank war with your fourteen year old daugther? Is it that Polka Dot weirdo?

Cluemaster: ... Riddler.

Kiteman: Be honest, Arthur.

Cluemaster: I am!

Kiteman: Why the fuck would he work with you? Didn't he like was brought on to one of your trials and tried to sue you for being a copycat?

Cluemaster: No idea. I don't really remember all my trials.

Kiteman: Fair. Still isn't he like an actual treat? Like Batman actually tries to be always involved in his crimes instead of just sending a Robin or a cop kindda treat? Or hangs out with Cooblepot and Harley Quinn and fucking Catwoman and even Scarecrow and Joker kindda treat?

Cluemaster: Yes, so what?

Kiteman: He is waaay above your league. How the fuck do you got him to work with you?

Cluemaster: He is working for me because he recognizes my genius.

Kiteman: *sarcasm* Yeah, sure. At least it explains why I've been hearing that your plans don't totally suck anymore.

Cluemaster: Will you help me or not?

Kiteman: Anything for little Steph. But seriusly bro, the guy is a mentally instable killer, he is real Arkham loonie, A-lister and all this shit are you sure is safe to have him living with you? Specially if he and Stephanie are fighting!? She is just a kid! What if this prank war thing escalates and next thing she is in saw type death trap or something?

Cluemaster: Well than help me not to! I can't just kick him out, do you know how much I've been proffiting later?

Kiteman: And also he is an instable killer that used to hate you and wouldn't react well to being kicked out?

Cluemaster: Yeah, this too. Look I think you're overestimating the guy. He is smart and all and he can take a punch but I could take him out real easy in a one on one. He screamed like a little girl when he found a roach in the kitchem. I think I'll be fine.

Kiteman: Sure, you do you.... Maybe.... you could just.... help them find something they have in common? A TV show they like or something. It used yo work with us. They will bond over the thing and forget they hate each other for a bit.

Cluemaster: See was it that hard to help me?

*Chuck hangs up*

[Three months later]

Cluemaster: Chuck! I need help!

Kiteman: Can you call in another time? I'm bowlling with the guys, Calendar Man and Condiment King cannot win a second time, one weird rap about their love conquering all was ENOUGHT.

Cluemaster: Is about the whole prank war between Nygma and Stephanie thing.

Kiteman: Oh. So I guess my advice didn't work.

Cluemaster: No, no, it did. It worked way to well actually.

Kiteman: *worried* That sounds bad.

Cluemaster: Yeah... it happened that the thing they had in common was that they really hate me.

#this might be the start of a brown family au #because i have a lot of feelings about them #for me kiteman is actually a pretty chill down to earth guy besides the whole kite crimes thing #and instead of the tragic backstory were his kid died in the dumbest riddler plan ever #he just always wanted to have a family but he is too akward and has some nd coding and didn't had the chance yet #so he wants to bond with steph because she is his niece and all #but he and arthur don't have a good or stable relationship and he haven't been there for steph and she doesn't even know about him #so he is just afraid of talking to her #he and arthur started fighting because their parents divorced when they were 13/15 and they stayed with different parents #also while i preffer charlie a lot Cluemaster is a B Lister here while Kiteman is a C/D Lister #Kiteman is friends with all Gotham C-listers with the exception of Polka Dot Man because they just don't hang in the same places #they have some misinformation about each other and think the other is a freak but they would be pals if they meet #cluemaster hangs with b listers and non gothamite c listers #chuck actually got relieved after the last bit cause he imagine grooming or steph becaming a killer or smt real bad #he actually likes Riddler a bit after that because sibbling rivalry and because he is starting to realize Arthur is a shitty dad #Eddie did try to sue Arthur in Arthur's first trial #he was called to testimony why Arthur shouldn't go to Arkham and it was when he discovered that you can't copyright a criminal mo #it was also his first time on trial cause some rogues are considered unfit to stand trial and he is one of them #riddler #edward nygma #stephanie brown #arthur brown #cluemaster #kiteman #chuck brown #cheatday is @sillymanwithocs ship I'm just borowing it

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