#I cut off so much rambling because I talked through like every single song in those three albums and realised that was WAYYY too much lmao | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

carpkoinobori · 10 months ago

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[❣︎] casual — huh yunjin x reader

[𖤐] 0.5/3 [next] [please be aware this is all fiction! none of this is real and idols behavior is not accurately represented.]

song(s): casual - chappel roan | runaway runaway - mars argo | HOT TO GO - chappel roan |

summary: you and your best friend made it to produce 48 together— what led up to the fallout? who is it you’re singing about? what do you do when the stress boils over?

pairing(s): trainee!huh yunjin x trainee!fem!reader

tags: angst, imagined unrequited love, eventual happy ending

wc: 1.1k

cw: implied sexual content, internalized homophobia, period typical homophobia, mentions of dieting.

ex: 135 notes.. thank you all so much!! i didn’t expect anyone to really like it. i hope you enjoy this backstory :-)

also, this is an au, not following real events— y/n and yunjin are 18 and 19 in produce48, yunjin debuts three years later at 22, and y/n at 21.

(not beta read 😭)

you didn’t expect a survival show to be so stressful- now, you were well aware how difficult it’d be, you knew you would have to practice, and sing, and dance, and diet- but, you didn’t expect the constant stress of the possibility of being eliminated every day.

but, you chose this, right? all for her, all for your sun.

“y/n! Come on, let’s practice this final part, yeah? I think I figured out the footwork-“ yunjin mumbled, rambling about something or other. you were distracted by her face, she was soo pretty-

“y/n, are you even listening to me?” she said, grinning. your face turned a pretty shade of red, and you spluttered. “What? No, no! I was totally paying attention, I swear— something about.. footwork?” You guessed, desperately.

“it’s fine, just, come here- I’ll teach you,” she smiled, and it took all you had to not just fall right there.

after one particularly harsh judge had humiliated yunjin, she slammed the door of the room you shared with about two other contestants. they weren’t there, at the moment.

yunjin angrily began to rummage through her things, and you sat up. “jen? What’s wrong? I mean, I know what the judge said was mean but- you know that’s not true, right?” you began, getting up and starting to walk over to her before she whipped her head around, glaring at you.

“It IS fucking true, y/n, just because they always let you fuck up ‘cause the fans love you doesn’t mean you’re suddenly qualified to give advice-” she spat, standing up from her spot on the floor, her fists clenched as she jabbed her finger into your chest harshly. “You probably think you’re so much better than me, don’t you? I bet-” you cut her off, cupping her face in your hands. “jen- jen, I don’t think that, and you do not get to talk to me like that just because you’re mad,” you began, words steady and stern, and when you watched your best friends eyes glaze over, a bit, felt her gaze flicker down to your lips, felt your face flush and felt her lean in—

well, it was all you could do to tug her closer, kissing her, tasting the stupid citrus lip balm she’s used for years, that you’ve thought about every single day of your waking life—

and if someone asked, was it all worth it? the pain, the exhaustion, the work, just for this?

“well,” you’d reply, “oranges were always my favorite fruit.”

you cupped her face with one hand, threading your fingers in her hair with the other, pushing her onto your bed, and it was all teeth, you biting her lip, you moving your hands down, her speaking incoherently.

“please,” she’d breathe out, the words just whispers on the wind. and you’d always been the one under her mercy, begging her to love you- and now here she was, begging for you to touch her. you’d always dreamed of touching the sun. you’d always think of Icarus, in these moments. your wings were yet to melt from the heat and warmth, though, so you figured it was fine.

and, well, the fall would hurt, but it was all you could do, to fall into eachother, again, and again.

waking up was always worse. your dorm mates still weren’t back, they had a penchant to pass out in the practice room. you kinda thanked them, for that.

sometimes you’d wake up in the middle of the night, just so you could see her sleeping. just so you could see her before she would leave in the morning.

yeah, you lived together, but come 8 in the morning, she’d be gone. except for the first time. except for before you fell asleep.

“..y/n?” she asked quietly, voice barely above a whisper.

“mhm?” you hummed, half asleep in your bed.

“this didn’t mean anything, right? im not mad at you, im sorry. i was just stressed, and frustrated- and- we can still be friends, right? it won’t change?” she whispered, and it was the only time you’ve ever seen her this nervous around you. the first time she had really been vulnerable since you both got on this stupid show.

what changed? was it the having to compete against each other? yeah. it was probably that.

“yeah,” you mumbled, feeling your chest constrict, your heart fracture, tears stinging your eyes, and you were so glad she couldn’t see your face. “yeah, jen- it’s casual. we’re still best friends,” you reassured, giving a smile that didn’t reach your eyes. why were you smiling, anyway? she couldn’t see you. she’s never seen you. “okay, y/n. good night. i love you,” she mumbled, turning to the wall.

“goodnight, jen. i love you,” you whispered, turning your back to her, and staring at the empty bed across the room. wasn’t it poetic that she was in your bed, and you’d never be in hers? you laughed inwardly, no humor in it. you were so, so bitter.

this stupid game kept up, you kept giving in to it, and you kept losing- atleast it gave you writing material, right?

“y/n,” your dorm mate- chaewon, you think? “you should stop,” she murmured. you stared at her through tired eyes. “stop what?” you said, playing dumb. “you know. I think- I think it’s.. it’s not good for you,” she mumbled, uncomfortable. “I appreciate it, but I’m fine,” you assured, giving a well-practiced smile. “Thanks for caring,” you nodded, slipping out of the chair you’ve been sitting in for an hour and a half— instead of sleeping, you’d either be with your “best friend”, or writing about her- god, you were such a lovesick fool. Crumpled paper took up the majority of your desk, and you left it all splayed out, in front of Chaewon, slipping away to go practice till you dropped. The trainee life, you’d think.

“you said/ we’re not together/so now when we kiss/ I have anger issues,”

chaewon stared at the paper, vaguely. she couldn’t read english, obviously, and was half tempted to put it in a translator, but she just turned around, leaving the room as well to go practice.

“and I try to be the chill girl/that holds her tongue and gives you space/i try to be the chill girl/but honestly/im not,”

and then she got eliminated. and you broke down. and you lived in that practice room. and your roommates would stare at you in pity, and you hated it, you hated being something pitiable.

you hated loving your best friend. your fall hurt like hell, your stupid wax wings broke. you didn’t fall into her, no— you fell into the sea, cold, salty, rough— you hated the cold. but maybe you’d get used to it.

hundreds of texts unsent:

“jen, I love you,” [delete]

“jen, I miss you,” [delete]

“jen, did you love me? do you miss me?” [delete]

“I’m so sorry,” [sent]

“are you okay?” [sent]

“will it be okay?” [delete]

“will you catch me?” [delete]

“why won’t you talk to me?” [sent]

[reply] “I need some space,”

[reply] “I can’t take the reminder,”

“okay, I’m sorry. I love you,” [sent]

[you can not reply to this conversation. message unable to send]

and nearly 7000 miles away, there is a girl crying in New York City. because she loves her best friend. and her best friend said she didn’t mean it.

and nearly 7000 miles back, there is a girl crying in Seoul, because she loves her best friend. and her best friend (will) not love her back.

hi! backstory to good luck babe. i hope you all enjoy this, I wasn’t expecting so many notes on the last post… thank you all for reading! please feel free to send anons or reqs or just tell me about your day.. hope your day is great! :3

#le sserafim x reader #le sserafim x fem reader #le sserafim imagines #le sserafim #huh yunjin x fem reader #huh yunjin x reader #huh yunjin #yunjin x reader #yunjin x fem!reader #f!reader #y/n and yunjin kinda toxic #it’s ok though #carps masterlist #carps works

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sacredjake · 2 years ago

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To Be Loved By You

pairing: sam kiszka x reader

word count: 4.1k

warnings: angst, pining, fluff, drinking. let me know if i missed anything

i’ve gone back and forth on this fic and almost wasn’t going to post it, but here we are. this fic is very, very loosely based off the song To Be Loved By You by Parker McCollum. every time i heard it i just had this vision in my head for some reason and needed it out :) huge thank you to @malany-gvf and @gretasimp for proofreading and editing <3

———————

“So? What do you think?”

The words bounced around in your head, creating a hollow echo against your brain. You should be ecstatic, over the moon, jumping with joy. Part of you was, but another part of you just felt sad. And you hated yourself for it.

“Oh my god… Is it that bad?!” Seth’s panicked words brought you back from the corner in your mind where you had been hiding away.

“Oh no! No! Seth, it’s perfect. Em is going to absolutely freak and say yes. Honestly, you planned the perfect proposal and I am so excited for you both!” You quickly shoved your sadness deep down to reassure him that his engagement proposal to your best friend is perfect.

And it was. Seth had everything planned out exactly as you would expect, so when your best friend, Emily, said “yes” you were not surprised in the slightest. You were extremely happy for them both, but it also loomed over you as a reminder of how awful your own love life was.

You had never been in a serious relationship and every date you went on was an utter disaster. The guy was either a creep, or wasn’t interested in actually dating. After so many years of your closest friends falling in love and getting married, you were starting to turn bitter and sad about the subject of love entirely.

“Ugh, Sam, you should’ve seen it. It was absolutely perfect, and of course she said yes because I mean, how could she not?!” You exasperate over the phone to your best friend as you walk inside your apartment and drop your keys on the kitchen counter.

“And the way he looked at her? My god he looked at her like she was the only woman to ever walk the earth. And when she said yes? I just can’t even take it anymore. I am beyond happy for her, I am, but when is it gonna be my turn? When am I going to fall in love? When am I going to have a guy look at me like I am the only woman to ever exist?”

Sam gave you a hefty sigh from the other end of the phone as you continued to ramble and pity yourself, voice beginning to crack from the heavy emotions you felt.

You made your way through your apartment towards your bathroom to get ready for bed, petting your cat who lay on the armrest of the couch along the way.

“C’mon y/n, stop talking like that. There are tons of guys out there who would fall at your feet if you so much as glanced their way. Maybe your time is coming soon.” Sam effectively cut off your rambling, but his words of optimism didn’t help. If anything they drove you closer to tears.

As you entered the bathroom, you could feel your throat closing and water starting to prickle in your eyes, your chest tightening with hurt and sorrow. You shut the door with your back pressed against the wood and slide down the length of it until you were sitting on the cool tile.

“Don’t say that to me, Sam. Please. I’ll only get my hopes up for nothing to happen. Constantly reminded that I’m unloved.” You choked back a sob trying not to cry to your best friend on the phone. You have done enough of that these days.

Sam has heard and seen it all. He was the person you were able to go to with these things because unlike all of your other friends, he was single. He knew what it felt like to be lonely and want someone to share things with. But my god was he so optimistic and hopeful with you, always ensuring that there was someone out there for you.

“You are not unlovable, Angel. Far from it. You just need to… I don’t know… gain a new perspective on things?” His nickname for you caused another round of sobs to wrack through your body. It wasn’t often that he called you Angel anymore, but when he did it was always in situations like this. When you needed it most.

He sounded sad and longing, but you were too wrapped up in your own pity to even notice. It stayed silent for a few moments while you tried to pull it together, Sam giving you time to gather yourself.

“I think I’m going to go to bed. Could you do me a favor?”

“Anything for you, Angel.”

“Could you be my plus one for this wedding? I know I will be in the bridal party, but I don’t think I can stomach it without you.” Tears threatened to fall from your eyes once again as you spoke.

“I would love to be your plus one. I’ll be there.” His voice was soft and gentle, calming your emotions once again. You took a deep breath and stood from your place on the ground.

“Thank you, Sam. I appreciate you so much.” You gave a slight smile even though he couldn’t see you.

“Anytime, Angel. I’m always here. Get some rest, okay? Goodnight.” You could picture the look on his face perfectly in your mind. Eyes and smile soft and warm on his face as he bid you goodnight.

“Goodnight, Sam.” Ending the call and you continued your regular nightly routine, but still feeling weighed down by your own heart, the sadness lingering. You knew eventually it would subside, but tonight was another night in which you would fall asleep alone, wishing for the comfort of another.

—————————-

As the months passed on, Emily had asked you to be a bridesmaid, as you had suspected she would. You were thrilled to be a part of her big day in this way, but being a bridesmaid also meant you were constantly talking about wedding things and love. Which songs they will play, what song they wanted their first dance as a married couple to be, what kind of cake and flowers and decorations they would have. It was exhausting.

By the time the wedding rolled around you were grateful the whole ordeal was going to be over. Part of it was the stress of having bridesmaid responsibilities, but the other was because it was a constant reminder that you were alone. All of the other bridesmaids were either taken or married which didn’t help the resentment towards love that you were beginning to feel after months of helping plan this wedding. Not that you would ever let it show around them or Em, but you couldn’t wait to be out from under its crushing weight.

You vented to Sam about the wedding and how you felt, frequently. You would have felt bad constantly burdening him with your emotions had you been able to see past them. He never faltered and always seemed willing to listen and give advice. You were thankful that you had him, and even more thankful that he still agreed to come with you to the wedding.

“Alright people! It’s showtime!” Em’s sister, Audrey gathered the attention of the bridal party, signaling that the wedding was about to begin. You walked over to Em one last time before finding your place among the other bridesmaids.

“Congratulations, Em. You deserve all the happiness in the world, and I am so happy for you.” You lightly grasped her shoulders as you spoke. Tears began to well in both of your eyes and deciding neither of you could afford to ruin your makeup now you added with a pointed finger, “And if Seth ever hurts you, I will kick his ass.” Causing you both to laugh lightly.

“I know you will, y/n. I know you will.” She shook her head giggling slightly. You let go of her shoulder to give her a tight hug, basking in each other for a moment. You pulled away from Em giving her a soft smile before joining the other bridesmaids to begin the wedding procession.

As you joined the groomsman you had been paired with and marched down the aisle, you searched for Sam. His eyes found yours in the crowd of people sitting in the pews and he shot you a smile and wink, earning a smile from you in return.

The way Seth watched Em walk down the aisle pulled on your heart, drawing it near your stomach. His eyes were solely focused on her, tears threatening to break through as she approached closer with every step. You longed for someone to look at you that way, to love you that deeply and strongly.

The ceremony was beautiful and filled with tears from all throughout the church. You cheered loudly as the newlyweds walked out to their awaiting car to be swept off towards the reception venue. Eventually you were able to find Sam among the sea of people leaving their places in the pews.

“Thank you for coming, Sam.” You greeted him with a hug and bright smile, though he could see the sadness that held your eyes. He immediately wrapped his arms around your frame, hugging you close with his chin resting lightly on the top of your head. He was intoxicating. His warmth, his smell, his touch, everything about him soothed you and drew you in.

“Anything for you, always.” He squeezes you tightly before letting go. Gesturing you to walk outside, you followed his direction out of the church and into the warm spring air.

“Nice suit, I didn’t know you could clean up this well.” You nodded to his outfit of choice. He was wearing a deep red blazer and dress pants set that complimented his skin well. You ran your hand down the sleeve of his blazer feeling the crushed red velvet beneath your fingers.

“Not so bad yourself. I think fuschia suits you.” He nodded his head back towards you and gave you a wink. You wrinkled your nose and pretended to gag at his words.

“Please, you know I hate the color pink.”

“You never listen, huh? This isn’t just pink, it’s fuschia.” Sam huffed jokingly. Shaking your head you lightly shoved his shoulder with your hand, barely pushing him away from you.

“It’s still a shade of pink, dummy.” You looked around and noticed that most of the guests had cleared out of the vicinity, more than likely heading to the reception hall. “We should probably get going though. Mind if I ride with you to the reception? I rode with Audrey here.”

“Not at all. This way, milady.” Sam held his arm out for you to loop yours through, guiding you to his car. Your time with Sam didn’t last long, as you had to perform your last bridesmaid duty. Pictures.

You didn’t mind this aspect of being a bridesmaid, it was just extremely tedious, and you were not a fan of having your picture taken. You were relieved when the photographer announced that they would be taking pictures of the newlyweds and you were free to join the guests in the reception hall.

As you walked into the open ballroom you began scanning the area for Sam, finding him sitting at a table with his back to you, in what looked to be a deep conversation with a girl. She was laughing at something he said with her hand on his upper arm, leaning in closer to him. You instantly felt anger bubbling inside of you, rising up to your face. You couldn’t explain why you felt this way, but you were definitely feeling an odd tinge of jealousy. Deciding to bypass Sam and the girl, you walked straight to the bar to order a drink. Thank god Em and Seth insisted on having an open bar, you were going to need the liquor.

As you waited in line, you felt a hand gently land on the backside of your tricep. Turning your head slightly you were met with Sam’s face looking down at you, a soft smile gracing his lips. You offered the best smile you could muster, shoving the ugly green monster back into his little box and turned back to face the bar.

Sam still felt the shift in your mood as you turned away from him without a word. He dropped his hand from your arm, and opted to not bring it up in fear that it would only upset you further.

“What can I get for you?” The bartender looked up from the current order they were working on as you approached the bar.

“Can I have a jack and coke, please?” Sam glanced at you, eyebrows raised in surprise at the drink you ordered. You didn’t drink jack and coke unless you were planning on getting drunk, fast, and he knew it.

“And for you?” The bartender looked towards Sam waiting to fill his order.

“Tequila soda, please.” The bartender got to work on your drinks as you and Sam stood in silence. In a few moments you both had your drinks and were heading back towards the table you saw Sam sitting at with the girl earlier. Although, this time she was nowhere to be found.

“Drinking heavy tonight?” Sam nodded his head towards the drink in your hand as you sat down, taking a sip of your jack and coke.

“I figured I’d need something stronger than my usual to get me through tonight.” You shrugged, taking another sip. You weren’t sure it was even possible, but his eyes softened more at your reply. He rested his hand on your knee and gave it a light squeeze. Even through the fabric of your dress, your skin felt warm under his touch.

His hand didn’t linger for long as he picked up his glass and tilted it towards yours. “Then drink we shall.” He gently knocked his glass against yours before lifting it to his lips.

The night went on, and Sam helped lift your mood as toasts were made, food was served and drinks were downed. You were definitely feeling slightly drunk from the rounds of drinks you frequently got, and that helped to soothe the sting of heartache. However, your mood quickly turned sour once again as the cake was being cut and the couple shared their first dance as husband and wife.

“Why can’t I have that? Look at the way they’re staring into each other’s eyes… I want someone to love me like that.” You sighed, chin resting on your arm that was draped over the back of your chair. “No one has ever looked at me that way. No one has ever wanted me that way.” You cast your eyes down to the empty drink in your hand and sighed again.

“I’m going to get another drink.”

You stood, earning a huff from Sam as you set the glass on the table. His large hand wrapped around your wrist as you began to leave, stopping you in your tracks. You turned back to face him, shooting him a questioning look, eyebrows raised.

“I think you’ve had enough, y/n.” Sam’s voice was stern as his downturned eyes bore into your own. You scoffed at him. Anger seeped into your body, boiling in your veins. Who was he to cut you off?

“Excuse me?” You bit back at him, tone venomous as you tried to pull your wrist from his grasp to no avail. He wasn’t budging, his hand like a vice around your wrist.

Still holding onto you he rose out of his seat coming face to face with you. “God, how blind are you?!” His voice was hushed so as to not draw attention, but his tone was cutting, teeth clenched. You stared at him, eyes wide, confused and not daring to speak. You had never seen Sam so angry before, and especially not so quickly.

“You don’t see it, do you? Of course you don’t, you’re so self-absorbed in your own sorrow to even notice.” His hand finally let go of your wrist at his last word slicing through the air. You stood there shocked and shaking from anger.

“What the hell are you-“

“Forget it, y/n.” Sam shook his head before he stormed off towards the exit of the reception hall. You stood there for just a moment as he walked by before you turned on your heel and stormed after him. Thankfully no one noticed the interaction between the two of you as they were all watching the happy couple dance.

Sam exited the hall through a small door that led out into the foyer of the building with you hot on his heels. The room was dark, only being lit from the moon and lightning flashes as a thunderstorm rolled in. “Go away, y/n. Leave me alone.” He spat as he continued to walk towards the exit of the building, crossing the room quickly due to the stride of his long legs.

“No! What the hell are you talking about?! Why are you so angry?” You practically yelled and he stopped in his tracks, one hand resting on each of the giant double doors that lead outside. He shook his head and gave a cold, mirthless laugh as a flash of lightning cracked across the sky, illuminating the mostly empty room for a short, fleeting moment.

“That’s exactly it! Don’t you get it? You don’t even realize!” He pushed away from the door, turning back to walk towards you.

“Realize what, Sam?!”

“What the hell does a man have to do to be loved by you?!” He stopped in front of you, his face less than a foot from your own, breaths coming out heavy and uneven. His tone was angry and frantic, but his face was sad and pleading. Desperate, wanting. Begging.

“Tell me! Enlighten me, please! What do I have to do for you to love me back?!” You felt your entire body turn cold and rigid as Sam confessed his love to you, a small gasp hung in the back of your throat.

“You always come to me crying. Angry. Longing… And it kills me everytime! I hate seeing you cry. I hate knowing that when we hang up you cry yourself to sleep because I know you hate sleeping alone. I am in agony over you, constantly. So what do I have to do?” His voice was as pleading as his eyes this time. All of him begging for you to see him. To love him. To love him the way he loved you. You began to feel your throat and chest tighten as tears pricked your eyes.

“What more do I need to do to show you that you are loved? That I love you?! That I have always loved you? You want someone to look at you like that? I do. I have always been right. here.” He punctuated the last two words with anger and sorrow causing you to blink as they flew from his mouth.

“Sam, I- I never-“ You began to speak, but Sam cut you off.

“You never what? Noticed?” He spat, causing you to recoil slightly and take a step back as you nodded your head.

“You never noticed because you’re too busy watching happy couples and feeling sorry for yourself! Maybe if you looked at me, you would’ve noticed I’ve been looking at you. Waiting for you.” You stood still letting what he said sink in. He was right. You had been so self-absorbed that you didn’t realize Sam had been there all along.

Every bad date, every phone call, all the times you cried to him and he would suggest there was someone out there who loved you, that your time for love was maybe around the corner. While you had been waiting for love, he had been waiting for you. Waiting for you to notice him. To love him.

Tears uncontrollably rolled down your cheeks as you stood there in silence, staring at one another while lightning illuminated the room more frequently, the storm approaching faster. Sam instantly softened at the sight of tears littering your face, beginning to smear your makeup.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. Please don’t cry, Angel.” He sighed, raising his hands up to your cheeks to pat away the tears as they continued to fall, not wanting to ruin your makeup any further.

“No, Sam, you’re right. I’ve only been thinking of myself. All I ever do is talk about my feelings and what’s wrong with me and my love life. Not only have I been a terrible friend, but I’ve also been missing what's right in front of me.” You brought your hand to lay over his, leaning your face into his touch and closing your eyes. “I’m so sorry, Sam. I truly don’t deserve you in any way.”

“Hey, don’t do that. Look at me, Angel.” He lifted his hand from your face to skirt his fingers down your cheek to the underside of your jaw and finally stopped under your chin, angling your face up to his. His other hand dropped to your hip, resting lightly. Your eyes fluttered open instantly being met with his milk chocolate irises, a smile growing on his face.

“Hi.” He breathed out as his hand under your chin fell to rest on your other hip, holding you close to him.

“Hey.” It came out as a broken whisper, barely audible, even to your own ears.

“I’m going to kiss you now. Okay?” His breath fanned across your face while he spoke, and you nodded your head giving him permission. His right hand snaked up from your waist to cradle the back of your neck as he leaned in closer, sending chills across your body. His lips were soft and gentle against your own, and you found yourself melting into him. The kiss only lasted a few moments before he pulled away, resting his forehead against yours and sighing, eyes still shut. You felt as though you were frozen in time, stuck like this for an eternity, overtaken by his presence. His intoxicating, woodsy smell mixed with a hint of cologne, the way his hands felt on you, how beautiful he was with his eyes closed, and content.

“Sam?”

His eyes met yours at the mention of his name being whispered into the air.

“Yeah?” He whispered back, eyes flicking between yours trying to gauge your reaction. Your hand found purchase on his cheek, cupping the left side of his face.

“Kiss me again?”

“Anything for you, Angel.” A smile stretched across his face before he leaned in once again to kiss you. His lips met yours, gliding against your own with a feeling of something deeper behind this kiss than the first. It was more passionate, hungry even. His tongue swept across your bottom lip eliciting a sigh from you which Sam swallowed down as he took the opportunity to let his tongue roam the inside of your mouth, trailing along the roof. Your brain finally catching up, your tongue met his. Sam’s fingers dug into your waist at the feeling of your tongues dancing against one another, and pulled you impossibly closer.

He pulled away again, this time bringing his lips to your ear. “You have no idea how long I’ve waited to kiss you. What do you say we get out of here?” His breathing was labored and heavy against your skin sending tingles throughout your body.

“I’d like that very much.” You beamed, Sam taking your hand in his and leading you out into the stormy night where rain was pouring from the heavens, effectively soaking you both from head to toe. Without a care for the rain falling from the sky, Sam stopped abruptly using his grasp on your hand to pull you into him, kissing you for a third time that night, his lips spreading into a smile mid-kiss.

“Sam, what’re you doing? We’re going to get soaked out here.” You smiled into the kiss as well, a giggle bubbling past your lips.

“Just wanted to kiss you in the rain is all.” He pushed the strands of damp hair out of your face with both of his large hands, peppering it with kisses as he did so causing you to erupt into a fit of laughter.

“Think we could do this in your car? I kinda have to return this dress.” You laughed as you felt a shiver begin at the top of your skull and travel down your spine, making your whole body shake. Sam shrugged his blazer off and draped it around your shoulders, smiling at you sweetly, although it didn’t do much as it was already wet and cold from the weather. He placed a quick kiss to the tip of your nose before intertwining his fingers with your own and dragging you off towards his car.

“Anything for you, Angel.”

——————————

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#sam kiszka x reader #sam kiszka fic #sam kiszka fanfiction #sam kiszka fluff #gvf #sam gvf #sam kiskza #to be loved by you

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girlbossblackbeard · 1 year ago

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s2 ep3 delirious ramblings in honor of eps 4 and 5 coming soon!!

you already KNOW wtf goin on !!!

-the red flag fleet pig tails absolutely slay every single time

-Zheng Yi Sao putting her arm out to shield Olu from the dying guy that just got stabbed has me feeling some typa way (falling in love with her)

-stede just pushing his little bar and charcuterie cart around im obsessed

-Zheng Yi Sao's customer service voice when she says "Hi! I'm Zheng Yi Sao, you're...John?" like she's cold-calling someone is absolutely top tier, I would give her all my money if she were calling to scam me

-"champers?" stede you absolute doofus i love him far too much

-Zheng Yi Sao being all coy with her "ohh...forget it...;)" stop!!!!! im already in love with you please stop this madness!!!!!! i can't take much more of it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-OLU'S OFFENDED FACE WHEN STEDE JUST PLOPS THE TOWELS DOWN ON ZHENG YI SAO'S DESK LMAO

-okay. we have to talk about stede hearing "the revenge" and his mind going completely blank aside from the one thought of "Ed" replaying over and over and over again to the point that all sense of self-preservation flies completely out the window (as he flies over the side of the ship) because the ONLY thing that matters to him in that moment is seeing Ed again. i can only imagine the looming sense of doom he must've felt as he realized Ed was noticeably absent from the rest of the crew when he found them, and then the cagey way they all spoke about where Ed went. i wonder if seeing Ed's body lying on that table gave him any sense of relief in the way that getting confirmation of something you'd feared was coming finally arrives

-also!!! let's talk about what must have started running through Olu's mind when he realized it was their ship!! did he immediately think of Jim? was he worried about them? did he assume they would've escaped blackbeard's clutches by now and gone on to bigger and better things?

-"she's returned to us...mostly" i wonder how sad buttons must have felt seeing the revenge in such a dire state :((

-"maybe she's gone through that triangle thing by bermuda" wee john my beloved

-I TOLD Y'ALL WHEN THAT MF GNOSSIENNE NO. 5 HITS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT WAS GONNA BE THE DEATH OF ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND IT VERY NEARLY WAS BITCH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-oh holy fuck the way the look of excitement on stede's face morphs into a look of horror as he takes in just how wrecked the revenge got in the storm is extremely upsetting

-someone smarter than me needs to do a deeper analysis on the use of gnossienne no.5 as stede is climbing the ladder of the revenge, no doubt with thoughts of a beautiful and loving reunion with ed because surely he'll be there waiting for him, just as overjoyed to see stede as stede is to see him, only for the song and that fantasy to abruptly get cut off once stede realizes how dire the situation on the revenge has gotten

-hey fam do we think there's any significance of the crew being found desecrating that seagull in the captain's quarters or was that just a plot convenience thing bc obviously stede would check the captain's cabin for ed first

-"just thought you'd be taller...mu-muscly, you know...charismatic" bruh ain't NO way Certain People had been either 1) talking about stede in such a high regard it put him up on a massive pedestal or 2) ahem....sobbing so loudly the entire god damn ship can hear it every single night for literal months...that archie fully thought stede MUST have been basically a god amongst mortals to make ed be so downbad it drove him to violent insanity

-"why can't i get a straight answer from any of you" because they're all gay bitch!!!!! you knew this when you first hired them!!!!!!

-OBSESSED with how Izzy is fully down an entire leg and Stede could NOT give less of a shit about it. Literally telling him "Piss off Izzy, I don't wanna hear from you" as if there isn't the biggest possible elephant on the deck basically screaming to be talked about

-side note: for the love of GOD con o'neill looks so stupidly hot in his reaction shot to stede telling izzy to piss off it's actually gonna give me heart palpitations. this is my formal petition to make con o'neill look permanently just a little bit damp and a little bit sad

-"when you get old, if you don't wanna work anymore you can just give up i guess" frenchie my beloved

-love love love love love the parallels between buttons and auntie being the actual paragon of first mates with almost preternatural senses for mutiny a'brewin or the sea shifting

-hey fam do we think izzy actually stabbed stede's painting or was it really ed and izzy was...sparing stede's feelings???? but why??? is it because he's intimately aware of how it feels to lose ed and even though he hates stede (or used to) he still wouldn't wish that kind of pain on anyone??

-SORRY I GOTTA TOOT MY OWN HORN FOR A SECOND BECAUSE I CALLED IT FROM THE MOMENT THE TEASER DROPPED THAT THE RAG MAN WAS GONNA BE HORNIGOLD'S GHOST MANIFESTING AS THE PARTS OF ED HE HATED THE MOST

>>>it turned out to be all parts of himself which did me quite a big ouchie but im still riding the high of having sussed that out so early on im LITERALLY destined to be a writer on this show. djenks get at me i know ur reading this

-i have absolutely no idea what the pig is supposed to symbolize in ed's fever dream someone who has a functioning brain should figure it out and let me know pls & thx

-don't know if this is significant symbolism or not, but: ed is wearing the cravat, his chains, and the pearl necklace in the storm. he is NOT wearing the cravat or the chains in the fever dream, but he IS still wearing the pearls. the best analysis i can do around that rn is that the cravat symbolizes stede and this journey he's about to go on needs to be about Ed and Ed alone, but also Ed *feeling* and *thinking* he's genuinely alone, which is supported by the conversation he has with hornigold later when he reveals he's worried there's no one waiting for him in the real world. the chains im thinking could symbolize his blackbeard persona in a way - presumably he got the gold chains when plundering and gaining/maintaining his reputation for being ruthless and the chains are a physical reminder of that persona and reputation. in the fever dream, ed is stripped down to his most vulnerable state (which is interesting considering his hair and beard aren't in line with the s1 symbolism of his vulnerability - almost as if his heartbreak over stede has become so all-encompassing he's no longer able to hide it behind a beard or face-shielding long hair) so the chains would disappear just as his blackbeard reputation would disappear in order for him to get to the core of who he really is, which brings us to: the pearl necklace. we could literally talk for hours about the nuances of everything the pearl necklace represents regarding ed's fears, desires, identities, hopes and dreams for the future, childhood trauma, etc. etc. etc. but ultimately it represents the parts of ed he holds the closest to his chest and THAT is why he's still wearing it in the fever dream: because it's a representation of who he truly is, stripped down, at his core. and THAT is the person who needed to go on this journey in order to start to heal, without the influence of anyone or anything else making him feel the need to perform or be anything other than his 100% authentic, vulnerable self.

-the way i reacted to seeing how beautiful ed is as he's waking up in hornigold's hut is undeniable proof that i need to be put down

-"what did you do to me...while i was out...anything weird?" edward teach my beloved of all time. we will not be taking this incredibly funny and perfectly performed line delivery and making it sad by thinking about the implications of what past behaviors ed may have experienced from other shipmates when waking up after a night of blacking out

-sorry but the way ed holds his breath so he doesn't eat the soup is so hilarious and adorable to me

-auntie recounting all the details of the mutiny right down to ed's height and silver hair based off of looking at the deck and licking some gun powder is sooooooo sherlock holmes coded but like. if he fucked y'know?

-also!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the little sprinkle of what i believe was maori thrown in between auntie and fang!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i need more of that IMMEDIATELY

-"i'm burnin up here" SICK jobros reference frenchie

-frenchie stopping himself from saying "oh fuck" and instead going with "oh shit tits" i love this man an unhealthy amount

-"it's called you-cal-lip-eh-tusses. you-calamitous." good god i would due for olu in a heartbeat

-okay so. my thoughts on the olu/zheng/jim/archie situation. i never posted this here when the trailer dropped bc i thought i was just going crazy but when i saw the olu/jim shoulder bump i immediately knew it was giving "exes who are still friends and are being supportive of the other person when they admit they've found someone new" vibes. THAT BEING SAID - i can see this whole thing being resolved in 2 ways: either they have jim and olu talk it out and officially decide to split to pursue their respective new flames while remaining best friends/family, or - and this is where i think we all hope this is going - we get a 4-way polycule. im 50/50 on whether the studio would greenlight that given they've already pushed the envelope with having a nonbinary character and basically everyone is gay, but at the same time i would hope the studio would recognize that the show was wildly successful due in large part to those key elements and would be in favor of pushing the envelope even further (in their eyes). i think jim and archie are gonna see zheng being an absolute badass and fall in love with her and zheng is gonna see jim and archie being absolute badasses and fall in love with them while already being in love with olu specifically because he's NOT a badass and olu's gonna admit he's still in love with jim and they're all gonna live happily ever after completely dominating the seas and killing colonizing dipshits :)

-OLU WHIPPING HIS HEAD AROUND TO LOOK BACK AT JIM WHEN THEY TELL HIM THEY SAW ARCHIE'S BOOBS LMAO

-hi it's me again here to say that it is STILL SO EXTREMELY FUCKED UP AND EVIL OF DAVID JENKINS AND CO. TO BE PLAYING GNOSSIENNE NO.5 WHILE STEDE LOOKS DESPONDENTLY AT THE RUINED REMAINS OF HIS CAPTAINS QUARTERS WHERE HE AND ED CONNECTED FOR THE FIRST TIME AND FELT LIKE SOMEONE FINALLY UNDERSTOOD THEM

-how the fuck did izzy on a crutch and a pegleg sneak up on stede in the captain's quarters lil homie HAS to be sounding like mr. krabs at this point

-"i think the knives really help bring the place together" he literally cannot physically bring himself to not be a bitch around izzy even when he's wallowing in his lost love i am so so so obsessed with him you have no idea

-i know we're all still reeling from the confirmation that stede has ALWAYS known ed - past the rose-colored glasses of falling in love with just the idea of someone - and how his mind works when he asks izzy point blank what they did to ed but. i cannot stop thinking about s1 ed not being able to look stede in the eye as he says "you were always gonna realize what i am" before leaving with calico jack because he was so terrified of the judgement he'd see in stede's eyes. he revealed a less-than-ideal (but comparatively pretty benign) part of himself to the person whose opinion he cares about the most and was too afraid to stick around to see if/when stede would finally reject him for not living up to the standards that ed thinks stede deserves. and yet. we now know with actual proof that stede not only never judged ed for his past and just kinda glossed over any erratic behavior/violent reactions during their time together in favor of keeping an idealized image of ed in his mind, stede understood ed on a deeper level than practically anyone else in the whole world, with the exception of izzy, ever did. stede was so intimately aware of the exact kind of person ed was and what his thoughts and behavioral patterns were that he knew without a shadow of a doubt that there were only two fates for ed if stede didn't reach him in time: he was either gonna watch the world burn or die trying.

-feeling BIG emotions over the almost-sigh that stede does when izzy tells him how ed took his leg for merely mentioning stede's name. the way he looks away and swallows down his guilt and grief and shame.

-"you sent him to doggy heaven" ohhhh my god i wanna know if stede was bracing himself for the heartbreak or the relief (or both!!) of hearing izzy say yes. as i mentioned above, stede had to have had a cloud of impending doom looming over him all these months wondering where ed is and worrying if he'll ever find him again, and that cloud must have only gotten infinitely darker when he found the crew on the revenge only to realize that ed wasn't with them. stede isn't stupid, he proved as much when he told izzy he knew ed was going to destroy everything around him or die in the process, and with ed being very noticeably absent it would only make sense for stede to jump to the worst-case-scenario of the crew having to kill ed before he killed all of them. i think he had probably been emotionally preparing himself for that outcome the second he noticed the crew being shifty about ed's whereabouts, so to get confirmation of it would obviously be genuinely heartbreaking but also an end to the sense of doom that had been hanging around him for a while.

-the way stede whips his head around to look at izzy when izzy tells him no, they didn't send ed to doggy heaven is so! heartbreaking! because you can see the instant flame of hope light up his face for a split second before he reads the profound sadness of izzy's expression as he tells stede they deserted him on a beach and left nature to do the rest. interestingly enough, stede doesn't seem at all reassured or renewed in his hope by this, and im wondering if he knows izzy is lying to him at that point to spare his feelings

-"yeah i was there. that cabin boy's name was felix. he was a really nice guy" i love that we're not only getting a crumb of lore about ed's past on hornigold's ship (that isn't frat-bro posturing with calico jack) but that the crumb we do get highlights ed's humanity. not only does he remember the name of a "lowly" cabin boy, but he remembers that the cabin boy was really nice and is angry that he died so senselessly and hornigold doesn't even seem to care

>>>>>hmmmm now im thinking about how hornigold is a representation of the parts of ed that he hates, so is hornigold's story an allegory for how ed hates how he's shut off his emotions/shown little to no remorse for the hurt and suffering he's caused during his breakup era?

-okay there are SO many mentions of soup this season already someone figure out wtf it's supposed to mean

-THE WAY MY FRIENDS AND I ACTUALLY SCREAMED WHEN ZHENG SAYS "Girl, how are you :(" TO STEDE LIKE THIS SHOW IS 100% CONFIRMED WRITTEN FOR THE GIRLS (gn) AND THE GAYS AND EVERY LINE IS PERFECT

-DAVID JENKINS. WHY. ARE YOU PLAYING. GNOSSIENNE NO.5. WHILE STEDE TELLS ZHENG. ABOUT HOW HE FEELS LIKE HE LET ED DOWN. AND THAT HE'S THE CAUSE OF A LOT OF THIS. AND HOW HE SHOULD'VE JUST TOLD ED HOW HE FEELS. BUT HE WAS SCARED. AND NOW HERE WE ARE. i want you psychologically evaluated because i do believe there is a dark evil inside of you

-PLEASE stede's reaction of basically "ya got me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯" to Zheng saying the guys on wanted posters are hot makes my brain fizz

-im not ashamed to say i literally get tears in my eyes from how divine ed looks when he's talking to hornigold about selling handmade shoes like what the fuck did the hair and makeup artists DO to make him even more stunning than before when they had already broken the scale in s1???????????? i feel like i should send them a thank-you care package for the gift they've given us

-"im actually just a very simple man" my sweet precious baby darling eddie boy. you are the most complex character i have ever become obsessed with in my entire life, and i was DEEP in the Castiel trenches at the height of SuperWhoLock tumblr from 2012 - 2014 as an unmedicated teenager still developing her prefrontal cortex.

-"like a jailer, but all the prisoners like you and they can go whenever they want" so what im hearing is ed likes having control over other people but also desperately wants them to like him AND choose to stay with him of their own free will and not because they have to. or it's just a funny simile for an inn like he said :)

-the jeff's inn by the sea roleplay scene makes me so insane i actually can't talk about it rn other than to say it's peak comedy and i want it permanently etched into my brain. also ed's little corsage makes me [feral shrieking]

-GODDD the way this season is so expertly slicing in clips from s1 as a quick flash of an image before coming back to the present is so extremely satisfying and also a direct punch to the solar plexis every time

-"grown man covered in tattoos, eh? with daddy issues?" no comment just screaming

-"we've been living second-to-second for a while now. it's actually kinda nice to have a deadline" this!!! this is what im talking about with the looming sense of impending doom hanging over you for so long that once you get confirmation that it's going to be over soon, even if it's because of a very permanent ending, there's a lot of relief that can be wrapped up in that

-"go on, bonnet. gimme your worst" i feel like i don't have the brain capacity rn to break that interaction down and tease out what izzy would've been expecting stede to do or say and what stede would've been thinking in that moment that was too overwhelming to actually voice but maybe someday i'll get to it

-"okay well i feel like im gonna choose...i feel like im supposed to choose...live" bbbbbbbbbrrrrrrrrrrooooooooooo the intentional writing of ed to say "gonna" at first and then switching it to "supposed to" is sooooooooo insane dude holy shit. i need to know what factors caused him to change his wording. what was he going to say he was gonna do. who or what is pressuring him to make him feel like he's supposed to choose to live. are those two choices - what he was gonna do vs. what he feels like he's supposed to do - at war with each other or is the conflict brewing from the different motivations behind wanting to live vs. feeling like you're supposed to live. the writing is just too good

-godddd someone needs to make a post on hornigold telling ed they're in a judgement-free zone which is basically ed reminding himself that his mind is a safe space for his thoughts and how unbelievably sad it is that ed would even need to remind himself of that in the first place. he's so used to scrutiny and judgement (and it's one of his biggest fears when it comes to the people he cares about the most) that he doesn't even think he's free from it in his own head

-im just gonna say it. ed talking about warmth and intercourse and orgasms is foreshadowing

-"i don't think anyone's waiting for me" i'll actually go lie in the middle of the road right now i swear to god

-it's so interesting how ed gets angry that his fear that no one is waiting for him fucks his pros up

-i don't understand how olu didn't immediately clock that zheng was flirting with him when he's in her office like buddy if i see a very beautiful woman with a very sharp sword and she's pointing it in my direction? that's a marriage proposal

-HOKAYYYY FOLKS WE GOTTA TALK ABOUT OUR FIRST TRUE COMPETENT!STEDE SIGHTING IN THIS EP. he not only devises an escape plan ALL BY HIMSELF, he has the knowledge and foresight to . and guess what? IT ACTUALLY. WORKED. in fact, it was a SWEEPING success where he got EVERYONE safely off the red flag ship and onto his own!!!! this wasn't just some raid won with brute force or a fuckery accomplished due to loony tunes rules, this was an honest-to-god escape plan that required learning the shifts of the guards on deck and at the entrance to the brig to ensure those spaces would be as empty as possible, knowledge of the sleepy-time effects of chamomile in concentrated forms, knowledge of the layout of the ship he's been on for, what? a few days? maybe a week?, knowledge of where they store their weapons and then figuring out how to use the crossbow as a zipline AND remembering to have someone cut the line to prevent any red flag crew from boarding the revenge, figuring out how they can use towels to use said zipline, remembering that the revenge no longer has a wheel and utilizing wee john's strength to secure them a new one while disabling the red flag ship thus greatly increasing their chances of a successful escape. i guess now we know what the hell is going on in towels (it's scheming and plotting)

-jim grabbing archie's hand has they leave the brig

-stede's little hand gesture and "sss" noise he makes to communicate to lucius and black pete they're gonna move forward now even though they're all physically so close it literally would've been quieter if he just whispered his directions to them

-the person at the wheel looking longingly up into the sky. how much do we wanna bet she was thinking about zheng

-"just breathe into it black pe-" WHY ARE THEY SHUSHING MY BOY BUTTONS HE'S RIGHT

-"oy, ya cockeyed -" STOP SILENCING HIM

-"aye look at that, see that black pete -" LET HIM SPEAK

-IZZY PUSHING BUTTONS'S HAND DOWN AS HE'S TELLING BLACK PETE TO OBSERVE ARCHIE'S SHOOTING FORM IS EVERYTHING TO ME

-wee john profusely apologizing to the person he knocked unconscious before knocking them unconscious and then again after stealing their wheel. he is so dear to me

-i genuinely love how buttons wastes NO time in assuming his first mate duties again and directing frenchie and roach to start preparing the ship for sailing. it's just a nice reminder that stede chose him as his first mate for a reason beyond his propensity to attract a motley crew of unique characters - buttons is a genuinely highly skilled, highly competent, and extremely dedicated and hard working sea farer. who may or may not actually be a sea witch that has taken on the form of a humble man

-i actually am very charmed by olu still trying to persuade zheng to spare the lives of his friends while they're making out

-ooooohhhhh the fact that olu had to choose between zheng and jim was such a delightful mini conflict to see him go through. i might wind up making a post about his thoughts and motivations in that moment later on because it's so quick but so profound

-okay 1) the raw emotions in zheng's yell when she sees olu escaping on the revenge literally gave me goosebumps. 2) the look of absolute betrayal on her face in that closing shot gave me even MORE goosebumps. 3) ALWAYS LISTEN TO YOUR SLIGHTLY SUPERNATURAL FIRST MATE Y'ALL THEY ALWAYS KNOW WHAT'S UP

-i can't wait to see how this betrayal plays out in terms of the red flag fleet being an enemy to the revenge, even though we know it's temporary since we've seen Zheng Yi Sao and her fleet fighting alongside ed and stede in the s2 trailer and in the promotional materials for upcoming episodes

-UHHHH STEDE'S HEARTBROKEN FACE AS THEY'RE LEAVING HELLO?????????????????????????????????

-izzy trying to genuinely thank stede is so. Character Arc.

-also archie and jim training/fake sword fighting in the background

-"clarity? you've made your choice" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

-ed realizing that he really just hates himself is going to be MY villain origin story

-what the HELL was up with hornigold doing that howl. hated that

-"i'm not loveable" "and you're scared to do anything about it" i swan to john im gonna start chewing on the steel cables that hold up suspension bridges you literally cannot do this to me right now

-hey so fun fact when kate bush's song kicked in i actually desperately wished someone would've given me one of those neat chamomile towels that makes you pass out instantly because :) i am wholly unequipped :) to hear that song :) in the context of this next scene :))))

-seriously if you haven't read the lyrics to that song yet, first contact your local veterinarian's office and schedule and appointment to be put down whenever their next available time is, then look up the lyrics

-stede calling him a nut again i literally

-UGH the CONFLICT you can see on stede's face when deciding whether or not to remove the fabric covering ed's head or not. does he want to remove the fabric so he can say one final goodbye, face to face? or does he want to leave the fabric on so his last image of ed in his memory will be when he's alive and excited at the prospect of running away with stede?

-the fact that stede is literally pulling the wool from over ed's eyes and waking him back up both physically and spiritually(???)

-like ed, who was resigned to his fate and at peace with his choice to sink into the depths and never wake up again, INSTANTLY finds the motivation to live the SECOND stede interacts with him and he starts fighting as hard as he can to return to the surface, and just when he thinks he's not strong enough and he'll succumb to the darkness anyway, a light appears to pull him back from the brink. stede's voice comes through begging ed to wake up, to come back to him, don't die please don't die, he's here now. and ed's face as he's hearing stede talk to him is so full of love and amusement and admiration and then a little confusion as mermaid!stede appears but goes right back into his fully smitten expression and longing gaze and i just. don't know how we were ever expected to recover from this.

-THEY WERE ACTUALLY SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CRAZY TO JUST THROW THE GOD DAMN GENTLEBEARD/BLACKBONNET SEASON 1 BEST MOMENTS MONTAGE AT US LIKE THAT WITH NO WARNING DURING AN ALREADY EXTREMELY EMOTIONALLY TAXING SCENE

-anyway i am both irreparably broken inside and also reborn from this episode. thank you alyssa lane and alex sherman and also i will never forgive you for this

#ofmd #our flag means death #blackbonnet #gentlebeard #ofmd s2 #edward teach #stede bonnet #ofmd s2 spoilers #izzy hands #zheng yi sao

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hidefdoritos · 1 year ago

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I've been put on a steroid to help me beat this infection and boy howdy I hate it.

mental breakdown, food mention, SA mention, dysphoria, giant text wall, and a lot of relationship rambling under the cut. feel free to scroll. I am safe.

it feels like my brain has been lifted out and placed in a hot air balloon that is also a carousel. the balloon is piloting my body around. my body is extra sweaty and also jittery and little nauseous. the carousel of my brain is so anxious and cannot focus and is going Nine Million Miles Per Hour spiraling So Hard. i have 4 quizzes and an exam to do. i can't find an empty classroom without A Couple hanging out to "study" (in adjacent chairs, all but sitting in each other's laps) so I'm doing the exams from one of the music practice rooms and I can hear two pianists playing in different keys and it's driving me crazy and also I'm typing so much faster than I usually do and speaking fast too I think. i can't go back to my room because if my roommate is there and asks me what's wrong with me I'm gonna just cry because I'm spiraling SO HARD right now especially about how I'm single and my roommate is just gonna feel awkward and bad because she has a boyfriend and her entire identity is wrapped around him and she knows I envy that. oh gosh someone is playing a sad song and i'm actually going to cry about it. can't tell my other friend because she got broken up with Brutally over the summer and I don't want to make her sad. can't tell the other friend because she just got engaged. can't talk to the other friend because she asked a boy out for coffee and is texting the play by play about that. it's the same boy I wanted to ask out for coffee but i can't ruin her fun by saying so. i don't want to talk to a single person about it because I don't want to make them sad too but I don't want to talk to a dating/married person about it because they can't relate. don't want to talk to my ace friend because he can't relate. can't tell the other friend because that would require reaching for my phone and if I get on my phone I'll never get the schoolwork done. my screentime is over 8 hours today and I'm still not done. i have the world's most unmotivated group for my group project and I'm supposed to be leading and I've been sick for a month and the interview just fell through and nobody has stepped up to help. I'm so far behind I need to either get better or drop out. the costumes crew is waiting on me. i have paperwork due. everybody is better than me at everything. i scheduled work during the Thursday dress rehearsal. i'm in no way ready for the Friday concert. my stomach hurts from the antibiotic. i want to burst into tears but I'm so congested that I think a gallon of fluid would come straight out of my head and I've been trying so hard to hydrate. my laptop is in my lap and every time I look down I can see my chest which I usually don't feel dysphoric about but I guess that (and also sense-memories) decided to crawl out of the woodwork just for the heck of it because why not kick Moss while she's down I guess. my thrifted boots aren't actually leather and they're peeling. i'm wearing my split skirt and it looks incredible. i did such a bad job of painting my nails. why is there a mirror in this practice room. ironically the bottom of it cuts off between m neck and my shoulders, which is where I feel disconnected right now. my foot is going to sleep. i feel manic and depressive at the same time. my laptop is hot. i've been writing this post for 12 minutes and i think it helped. even if stuff isn't done it's helping to put all the thoughts out there. like venting a rice cooker. oh gosh I should be asleep already. i need to shower and go to bed. i already got a one day extension for this midterm i just need to go do it. i need to shower still. nooooo I have to deal with my naked body. i'm crying. why is this sending me over the edge? i'm gonna have to sit down in the shower tonight. oh no. on the one hand right now i have all the feelings of This Is Getting Bad Again that usually precede a serious low point in my life. however to be fair this is the first time i'm letting myself process any of the emotions from the last month of being sick. i just kept carrying on and collapsing over and over. ah, poor kid. i've been trying so hard.

#cj rambles #moss's musings #medical tw #steroid tw #sa tw #food tw #prednisone posting

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carronpatrick · 1 year ago

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Man, holidays are so bittersweet when people you loved and planned to have decades of holidays with have died and suddenly those dreams are dead, too. I still absolutely adore Christmas time and I always will but I also always cry many of the days because the loss is so great. It's just... It's so, so much.

It's more than most people will ever go through (and I'm so thankful for that because no one deserves to lose so many people so suddenly and tragically, I don't care who you are, no one deserves the pain I've gone through.)but it's just how God planned my life for me and I'm thankful for the lessons I've learned from the losses.

But! I decided I was gonna decorate for Christmas on Nov 1 because we don't do Thanksgiving anymore. I have our downstairs big tree up and lit and decorated, and we haven't put up our main tree with all of Daddy's ornaments and the yearly handmade ones in a few years. But I got horribly sick and felt like death since mom's brain surgery, lmfao. So it was put off, however! I finally felt better today (yesterday? I think today but I'm not positive, lmfao)!

So, I'm currently sitting with my Christmas Spotify playlist blasting and I'm singing every song and have my window open to feel the cold air and I'm putting up my baby tree and decorations and I feel so happy.

Also, whether you celebrate, or don't, or even if this time of year is just hard on you or you just love it like I do - you will always have a piece of fresh biscotti and mug of warm cocoa and fleecey blanket in front of the fireplace and kind conversation with me. If you want a distraction or a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen or just a friend to talk with about random things, I am always here and I love every single one of you. 🥰🤍

Also, rambly fun fact about me under the cut for whoever gives a fuck, but basically, I have been known as 'Christmas in a sunshine package' since I was a kid, and despite the pain this time of year brings, I'm still that way. I'm just 'Sunshine' or 'Sunshiney Care' or any other nicknames I absolutely love most of the time, but I'm full on Sunshiney Christmas Care after October ends. 🥰

So! Story time! Christmas has always been my absolute favorite time of year - I was even Mrs Claus in junior high and sang a song to 'Santa', then I was the Nativity Angel and sang O Holy Night another year (in high school, I believe?).

I always sing all the songs and never get sick of them and I watch all the movies from the 1920s til recent day and decorate every single room in the house and I love to go ice skating and light-looking multiple times and make homemade cocoa and drink eggnog and play in the snow when it falls no matter the time of day or night and bake entirely TOO MANY things (I covered our kitchen and dining room and parts of the living room once. 🤭🤷🏻‍♀️)

I go overboard and make and send giant care (heh) packages of like 3 shipping boxes full of fresh baked sweets and the entire year's worth of gifts I pick up here and there and ones I hand make and I hand make cards and mixed CDs and look, just ask @anxiousgirl, I do too much. 😂

But I just love Christmas time so, so much. It is truly my favorite and the best time of year for me. I am so so full of neverending love. And I LOVE to give to others (and I'm allowed during Christmas and it's not considered weird) and watch people be happy and spend time with people and do all the things that we're too busy or broke to do during the rest of the year.

Snow and ice skating and gingerbread houses and our family beignets from my Greatx4 Grandfather who lived in Paris' recipe and biting cold air and matching pajamas and handmade ornaments and family and friends and laughter and love. Even through the heavy losses and the pain my favorite holiday brings, it's still my favorite.

So, if you're still here... If I'm sobbing one day over Merry Christmas, Darling by Karen Carpenter (it will happen, lmao) and then super happy and Ms Claus the next, just know I'm fine.

#Okay I spent too long writing this but it helped me not feel so sad lmao #Time to decorate and enjoy the start of the season for me #I love y'all! So! Much! 🤍#Self #2023 #Christmas

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xmalfoyweasleyx · 4 years ago

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He flirts with everyone - F.W

Summary: Y/n gets drunk at the opening party of the joke shop when she sees her best friend Fred flirting again. She accidentally tells him about her feelings when she thinks it's George...

A/N: Normally I write smut but I LOVE this idea and I had so much fun writing it! I'm a little insecure about it because it's not smut, so please give feedback. I hope you'll like it! x

Warnings/Includes: Drinking, alcohol, insecure reader, 1 mention of sex, really passionate kiss, angst to fluff :)

Today was THE day, the opening of Fred and George their joke shoppe. It all started in the evening, with a big opening party.

Y/n was outside watching the doors of the shop, preparing herself to walk through. Dimmed music and lights could already been noticed where she was standing. She was a little nervous. The twins are her best friends, they knew each other since they were little, but it's been a month now since she's seen them. That was long for them, it was the longest they haven't seen each other, ever.

When she opened the door she was overwhelmed with the loud music and all the people in the room. How is she supposed to find those twins? But before she started searching properly, she already saw George standing there. You really couldn't miss him, with his tall figure and bright smile he stood out of the crowd.

"George!" you screamed. George turned his head immediately and smiled bright.

"Y/n! Finally!" he grinned and he gave you a big hug.

"It's so pretty in here, congratulations Georgie" y/n smiled. George seemed proud, she was thrilled to see him back but she couldn't stop herself from wondering where Fred is.

As if George could read her mind: "I think Fred is.. er.." he said while looking around.

And that's when they saw him standing next to the stairs. "There" George added. But both of their smiling expressions changed when they really saw him. Like we all know him, Fred was flirting again. Y/n knew she really had no single right to care about that, but the jealousy hit her like a truck. And George knew that.

A pretty tall lady was standing next to him. They were both laughing and giggling. Fred looked so damn handsome, she thought. His suit, the hair,... It was beautiful. Y/n watched how Fred gently laid his hand on the woman her shoulder and she seductively moved her fingers against her glass of alcohol. ALCOHOL that's it.

"Where's the alcohol" y/n asked George. He had a worried look on his face. "Y/n I don't think... I... Fred is just-" he stuttered but y/n cut him off. "I don't care, you don't owe me an explanation and certainly not in your brother's place, now give me some firewhisky or something" y/n stated.

"I know you're in love with him y/n" he explained full of pity. Of course George knew, you were his best friend and it was obvious to him but not to Fred. George always had to watch how you were hurt when you saw Fred with another girl, it happened back at Hogwarts too.

"Oh. Well. If you know then give me the drink" she kept asking. George nodded. They walked to the table with the drinks and George poured something in for her.

"You're not going to say hi to him?" he guessed. "Nope" y/n answered and she threw the whole drink down her throat. George felt sorry for her but also laughed a little, he liked drunk y/n after all, it was always fun.

An hour later there was already a dance floor full of people dancing their soul out. Including y/n. The alcohol was exploding in her body and she poured another shot down her throat when she saw Fred dancing with the girl from before or was it another girl already? One thing y/n knew for sure was that the girl was hot.

Her favourite song came on so she danced and danced... When suddenly, she didn’t know if it was an half hour later or maybe only 2 minutes, she felt someone pressing her shoulder.

Y/n turned around and saw Fred. “When did you get here?” he asks confused. Y/n decided not to answer and she kept dancing, swaying her hips to the music. “Weren’t you planning on saying hi to me?” he tries again.

“Nope” y/n responded trying to ignore the boy. She wasn’t even able to look into his eyes because she knew she would just melt.

“I’m going for another drink bye” she muttered, trying to get away from there as fast as possible. When she turned around Fred grabbed her arm to stop her.

“I think you’ve had enough, love” he whispered.

“You don’t get to tell me what to do Fred Weasley and you certainly don’t have to call me love” y/n said angrily, leaving Fred confused.

Why didn’t she say hello to him? Didn’t she miss him? He missed her and this is what he gets? Fred didn’t understand a thing.

“Wow, calm down, what the hell is wrong with you?” he scoffed now getting angry too. "With me? Why don't you just go back dancing with that girl you stupid git" y/n insulted, immediately regretting what she just said. Fred was hurt. Angry. He didn't understand this at all.

"You're mental" he snapped. Tears started to form in y/n's eyes and Fred walked away. Leaving y/n there guilty, sad and drunk...

Y/n ran outside, finding an empty doorstep on a random house next to the shop, where she could sit on. Tears fell down when she buried her face in her hands. She didn't want to be so mean to Fred, but maybe shutting him out was the best way to get over him?

What y/n didn't know is that Fred regretted what he said too. He saw how hurt she was and he hated seeing his best friend like that. So he decided to go look for her.

His heart broke when he saw y/n sitting there, her hands in her hair and tears falling down. Fred sat next to her without saying a word. Y/n looked up and smiled, not knowing it was Fred.

No, she thought it was George, he knew how she felt after all. Normally, y/n was the best in telling them apart, but after all that alcohol, she made a big mistake.

Fred on the other hand, thought y/n knew it was him. He had no idea y/n thought she was sitting next to George.

"Are you okay?" Fred asked. "I messed up" y/n cried.

"You didn't mess up" he ensured her, trying to calm her down, but it became worse. "I did! Oh why am I in love with your stupid brother" she sighed, leaning down to lay her head on Fred's shoulder (or what she thought was George his shoulder).

Fred was shocked. In love with my brother, he thought, so she is in love with George? Did that stupid twin of him make her cry like this?

"Are you in love with my brother?" Fred gasped, trying to hide the hurt in his voice. He would never be able to watch how y/n dates his brother, the thought of it made him sick. He didn't want y/n to be in love with someone else and especially not his own brother.

"I thought you knew" y/n asked confused. "No, I didn't" Fred whispered, almost inaudible.

Y/n was confused, she talked about this with George just hours ago? But she forgot it already when she remembered how mean she was to the boy she loves with her whole hard.

"I love him, George, but he'll never love me the way I love him" y/n sobbed.

Fred gulped. Did she just say George as in: she loves George. Or did she just say George to him?

"You don't understand, I wanna have his babies!! I want to come home and see his smile, I want him to fuck me into oblivion!!! Please help me George" y/n suddenly screamed dramatically, still very drunk.

Now Fred was sure, she thought she was talking to George. Which meant all she said was about him. He wasn't able to move. Fred was shocked. How? When? Why? He had so many questions.

"But he flirts with everyone, every piece of woman he can find, he flirts with it. I'll never be enough" y/n sniffled.

That's when Fred finally put all the pieces together and realized why she acted like that. She must have seen him talking to that girl. All those girls. Has he really been so blind? And did she really think she's not enough for him? His heart broke and glowed at the same time.

He wanted to tell her so many things, he wanted to explain everything, to apologize. He wanted to tell her so so so much.

But he couldn't, he was speechless. It was like he was glued to the floor and turned into a puppet with empty strings.

"George?" y/n stammered when she saw the look on his face.

Fred only responded with eyes full of pity.

They looked in each others eyes for a moment, when suddenly, she realized.

The scar, the pattern of freckles and the chubbier cheeks.

It was Fred.

Y/n gasped loudly. "I-I-... Fuck." was the only thing coming out of her mouth.

She panicked, embarrassed and afraid of what will come next. So she grabbed her wand. The only idea that came up was to apparate away from him.

She waved her wand but before she even did something she felt Fred grab her arm and in a second she was in a room with him. He was first.

"Where are we" she asked. "In my apartment" Fred answered.

Y/n nodded and an awkward silence filled the room.

“Do you really think you’re not enough for me?” Fred whispered.

“What does it even matter” she huffs.

Fred took a step closer and he grabbed her hand. Y/n her eyes widened. “Do you really think that?” Fred repeats.

“Yes” y/n answered weakly.

“Why?” he questioned interested.

“Fred, look at you, you’re a handsome owner of a shop who played quidditch for years, I mean, look at that chest, you are funny, you are sweet, all the ladies drool over you and you flirt with all of them. They’re so pretty and I’m... I’m, me.” y/n rambled.

Fred’s heart was beating hard inside his chest, her honest words made his knees go weak. If she only knew how he saw her. How pretty he thinks she is. He was stupid for flirting with those girls right in front of her. It was his fault, her insecurities.

“I don’t want to ruin our friendship, I know you don’t feel the same way, well that’s obvious, but I can’t see you that much any more, because when I see you I just want to rip off that shirt and kiss-“ she rambled and rambled like she was already doing the whole night, as if there was a ramblingpotion in her drinks.

But Fred cut her off by grabbing her shoulders and pushing her chest close to his.

“For Gods sakes, shut up woman” he whispered with a smile and he kissed you.

It was not just a kiss, it was something you both wanted to do for so long now. You both had never felt this way before. The passion was unexplainable. Fred grabbed y/n her ass very gently making her gasp a little, now he could enter his tongue. They fought for dominance. Y/n pulled on his red locks and pressed her body impossibly closer to his. She wanted to feel close to Fred, she wanted to show him how much she loved him.

Fred felt the same way, he left a very gentle bite on her lip, making her moan a little. His heart was swollen in his chest and he finally understood what they meant with those belly butterflies.

He was going to marry that girl one day, and like she said: give her his babies. The thought of her (actually) funny confessions made him grin on her lips.

“What are you smiling about” y/n chuckled when she left his lips.

“Nothing, nothing” he grinned.

After recovering from their passionate kiss, y/n and Fred were sitting on his couch. They talked and talked like they always could keep talking about random stuff. But now the topic was a whole different one.

Fred made sure y/n realized how bloody sexy he thought she was. He promised he would try his best to only flirt with her and he talked about how he liked her too back at hogwarts. Y/n couldn’t believe it at first but after talking for a while she was convinced.

She laid in Fred’s arms while he drew little patterns on her back. She enjoyed his smell and how warm he felt. It felt safe, it felt like home.

“Thank god, finally!” they heard a voice coming from across the room. It was George.

You all laughed.

“Without you we wouldn’t lay here like this Georgie” Fred joked.

“But I didn’t do anything?” George furrowed his eyebrows.

“I know” Fred laughed placing a soft kiss on your head.

join my taglist :)

general taglist: @rudypankowisdaddy

@malfoysdamnapple @marrymetheonott

@dracos-eternity

( I hope you’re not disappointed because this has no smut )

#fred fluff #george weasley #harry potter #fred weasley #weasley #fred and george #fred weasly x reader #fred angst #x reader

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reidyoulikeabook · 4 years ago

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Right Where You Left Me

Ship: BAU! Gender Neutral! reader x Spencer Reid

#Request - Could you do some angst with “you dont deserve my forgiveness?” Any ship!

Word count: 2.2k

Warnings: Mention of death, violence, injury (not serious), angst, mourning, a lot of tears. Also, swearing, anger, fighting (verbal, not physical.)

Summary: You and Spencer Reid had been together for a year before he ‘died.’ You grieved him. You mourned him.

A/N: Title stolen from my (current) favourite Taylor Swift song. Not sure how I feel about this one but! Here it is anyway! My requests are open & pls feel free to let me know what you think!!

14 days and 30 minutes exactly

You don’t think about the day Spencer Reid died. You can’t, because even remembering he’s dead feels as if an ice bucket has been tipped over your head. Not even now, two weeks later, have you really gotten over the initial shock that you felt. Every waking moment felt like you were trying to solve some kind of never-ending puzzle. Each emotion was overwhelming, too much to process. It felt like things would only start to get better, like everybody promised they would, when you started to be able to name the emotions rather than describe them as the physical sensations they brought on.

And you didn’t think that’d happen anytime soon.

The shared apartment was too much. You hadn’t slept in your bed since he’d been gone, and forbid anyone else from going into the bedroom. It was a sanctuary.

You understood now more than ever why victims families never changed a thing about the room of their loved ones. Every single thing felt deliberate. Theirs. It was a reflection of the time they were most alive, living. A unique snapshot of them in motion. The mess they left that they expected to come home to.

Rationally, you knew that wasn’t true. There wasn’t a sock hanging off Spencer’s bedside table, or a clean cardigan balled up on the floor, for any reason other than he’d been in a rush that morning, and had left an uncharacteristically large mess in his wake. In more ways than one.

***

2 months, 5 days, 8 hours

Being back at work helps somewhat, but the office feels empty without him there to ramble off factoids about anything and everything, to hear Morgan calling him ‘kid’ every five minutes. He only called you that now.

Simmons is nice, really he is. It isn’t his fault he’s there in place of Spencer and you try hard not to feel personally aggrieved by his presence. He doesn’t do anything to antagonise you, he stays out of your way more than anything. You don’t do anything to purposely make him uncomfortable: you do try to be agreeable and make small talk. But it’s hard not to look at him without thinking how, if everything was how it should be, Spencer would be stood in his place.

***

3 months, 26 days, 3 hours.

There is no ‘new normal.’ You’ve heard the term tossed around a few times in relation to grief, but if there is a new normal you’re still struggling to find it. When you’re not on cases, there’s no ‘normal’. You still don't sleep in your own bed. Sometimes you stay on Rossi’s, or Morgan’s, or Garcia’s couch. Sometimes, read: maybe once, it’s in the spare room at the place you and Spencer used to share. Sometimes, when you get worried about being a burden, it’s a hotel. It’s easier to feel as if you’re choosing to stay away from home, rather than acknowledging that home, as you understand it, no longer exists.

You still wake up and instinctually search for Spencer most mornings. Sure, work is keeping you occupied and you smile a little more these days. You even allowed yourself to be dragged out for drinks last weekend. But nothing feels like it should. You don’t know if that’s normal for grief or if you just aren’t moving forward at all, doomed to tread yourself deeper into the melancholic quicksand that’s got a hold on you.

You talk at length about it with Garcia over wine one night.

“Nothing feels right,” you admit, “Everything just feels...”

Garcia waits, just tipping her chin slightly to encourage you to continue. She’s got the counsellor act down and you’d have the decency to feel embarassed if you weren’t just so damn exhausted all the time.

“I feel trapped, I guess. Like I’m frozen. I keep thinking maybe it’ll get better once the trials over. Once the whole legal aspect of it is over and put to bed, then maybe I’ll have some closure on the whole situation,” you mumble, “I just don’t know how to move forward. I don’t feel like I’ve moved forward. And I know it’s only been three months but I’ve only stayed at our apartment twice and I can’t bring myself to move any of his things and...”

She just waits. In that moment, you’re so grateful for her.

“I’m stuck here. I can’t change anything. I can’t bring myself to move any of his things. I’m paying rent on a place I don’t live in but I can’t move because how can I live somewhere he’s never been? I feel like I’m stuck. I can’t move out of the world he lived in but the world is moving on even without him. And I’m just...I’m just here, Garcia.”

She nods sympathetically, placing her hand on your arm, “Maybe it’ll help when the case is wrapped up. When you have that closure.”

“Yeah,” you agree, “Yeah. I hope so.”

“There’s something you’re not saying,” she says, gently, “And you don’t have to say it. But if you’re holding back because you feel guilty then you don’t have to feel guilty about anything you say to me, my darling.”

You start to well up then. The pressure in your chest is heavy, something akin to guilt. It slices into your chest, cut glass sitting between your ribs and slicing you open every time you breathe in. You’ve been thinking it a lot lately. Too much. It’s making you feel awful and you can’t decide if putting it out into the world verbally is going to be a release or make it feel too real.

Garcia waits patiently.

You decide to believe it’ll be the former, then whisper, “I wish I loved him less. I wish I’d loved him less so this wouldn’t hurt as much.”

And then the sobs come. The sobs that wrack your chest and sting your eyes and leave you looking like you’ve been on the receiving end of an upper cut. Because how could you? How could you possibly want to take back any of the love you had so willingly, freely, given to the person you loved most? What kind of person did it make you to want to take back the good memories: to wish that instead of having waffles on the couch that last Sunday, you’d had a fight about the library fine he’d gotten because of you? How could you want to switch the puzzle pieces to create a less idyllic picture of your life together, just so you wouldn’t feel so much loss when you looked at it?

She just rubs your back through it, knowing that no words can help but still saying the thing she thinks you need to hear most, “That doesn’t make you a bad person, sugar plum. That makes you human.”

***

4 months, 6 days, 14 hours.

Hotch calls you all into the briefing room.

“A few months ago a decision had to be made. Somebody had the potential to make an incredible breakthrough on a case that had been airtight for years. But it wasn’t possible for that individual to complete that work without cover. They needed to be officially gone,” Hotch’s voice booms but you swear you can hear a hesitation, “It wasn’t necessary at the time for you to have that information. Providing you with it would have compromised the safety of one of our agents, and the integrity of their investigation.”

You glance around the room, confused, noticing everyone is sharing the same bewildered look. Except Emily.

“I apologise completely for having to keep this from you, it was a decision that was not taken lately, and I did not have the final say. That being said, any discontent about this decision should be directed towards me,” he glances towards Emily, and she’s looking nervous now.

Hotch lets out a huff, somehow more tense than usual, “SSA Reid was not killed after the attack in Seattle. That was his cover, but he was investigating a case.”

He’s still talking but you can’t hear anything. SSA Reid was not killed. SSA Reid was not killed. You flip the sentence over a hundred times. And for the millionth time since SSA Reid was killed, you have no idea what you feel.

There’s uproar from everybody. Shouting. And then Hotch says something and everybody is looking at you, scanning you for a reaction and you have nothing. Nothing at all.

“Hi,” a voice from the doorway, nervous and shy, a voice you’ve only heard in dreams and voicemails and recordings from nights out that you must have watched hundreds of times by now, if they were tapes you would have worn them out long ago.

And you know you can’t face him. You can’t face any of them.

You look around the room, first at Hotch whose eyes flicker with what looks like remorse. Then, at Emily who just looks guilty as all hell. You don’t look at him. You can’t look at him.

The tension in the room is palpable but in your peripheral you see Garcia and J.J flock to the doorway, embracing him.

Rossi, is the one who comes to you, “____?”

You stare at him, completely blankly, “Yeah?”

“You need to speak to him. Need to hear him out.”

“Yeah,” you murmur, allowing him to help you to your feet. His reassuring hands on your shoulders turn you around and you meet his face. The face of the boyfriend you spent the last four months mourning while everybody watched you fall apart. And half of them knew.

So that’s what you feel. Anger.

“Glad you’re back,” you snipe, pushing past him, “Glad you’re alive.”

Everybody watches you go. A tense silence fills the room. Spencer clears his throat, after what feels like an eternity, muttering, “I-I’ll go after ... I’ll go and see if I can...”

It wasn’t the reaction he was hoping for, if he’s honest. Although he wasn’t sure what exactly he’d been expecting.

“____ please, just let me talk to you, I’m sorry, please just let me have a chance to explain,” He manages to catch you at the elevator just in time, slipping through the gap with his lithe body, “Please. I need to explain. I need to apologise.”

“You can apologise as much as you want. You don’t deserve my forgiveness. You’ll never deserve my forgiveness.”

The venom in your tone leaves him floundering.

“___ please,” he’s begging, and you won’t look at him because you can hear the tears in his voice and he’s begging again, “Please, please look at me, please listen to me. You have to understand, you have to give me a chance to explain, please.”

You’ve never been this angry at him before. But you are now. It consumes you, you’ve never understood a crime of passion before and you’re not going to put your hands on him, of course, but fuck do you understand it now. How a person could just snap. The rage swells in you, screaming. Every muscle in your body is tense. It takes all you have to ball your hands into fists, digging your nails into your palm so hard you’re sure they break the skin. You’re furious. Furious at every single one of them.

“You lied to me,” you spit, “You lied to me and let me think you were dead. You and Hotch and Emily. I didn’t sleep in our bed for four months, Spencer. I’ve spent the past four months frozen, like, I couldn’t move forward without you. I didn’t start to move on. I've spent the last four months falling apart and trying to find a way to put myself back together without you, and then what, you just come back? You think we can just go back to normal? Spencer, I didn’t feel alive this past few months. I’ve been floating through, barely keeping it together. And for what? A case? That was important enough for you to do this to me?"

It’s true, you’ve spent the last four months feeling like you were the one who died. That you were united in being ghosts, except you were haunting all the places you used to go together, and he was just haunting your dreams. And he’d been alive. This. Whole. Time.

You storm out of the lift, lifting your head to look at him for only the second time in four months, “Please. Just leave me alone. You’ve done enough.”

He knows you aren’t wrong. Knows he doesn’t know if he could forgive you if the roles were reversed. Knows, more than anything, that he’s really fucked things up. You’ll never forgive him. That’s what you said, and right now, seeing anger like never before in your eyes, he has no reason whatsoever to doubt that isn’t completely true.

You don’t even make it to the parking lot before you feel your resolve melt into absolutely nothing. Anger descending into relief, hot tears cascading down your cheeks as the mantra starts again on a new loop in your head: SSA Reid was not killed.

#spencer reid fanfic #imagine spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #reid x reader #spencer reid angst #spencer reid #imagine criminal minds #criminal minds x you #bau!reader

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sneezefiction · 4 years ago

Text

midnight murmurs

Iwaizumi x Reader - Scenario

a/n: Iwaizumi rattles off some late-night thoughts to you while you’re “sleeping.” little does he know your eyes may not be open, but your ears are still catching quite a few of his one-sided conversations.

warnings: some language

wc: 1.5k

dedicated to: @star-puff, because your Iwaizumi fluff had me riding a high for like 2 whole days & we all need him in our lives

---

Incoherent whispering. Soft, short rambles. Maybe he was sleep-talking?

At least that’s what you thought when you first heard Iwaizumi’s voice over the gentle hum of the ceiling fan and against the muted song of the cicadas buzzing outside of the bedroom window.

But as the nights passed, you began to hone in on the contents of Iwaizumi’s mumbling.

His words were… pointed. Holding an air of quiet confidence and trickling ever so gently into your ear like a lullaby. Sometimes it had to do with his day. Other times it was about how cute you’d looked that morning, still fast asleep while he was getting dressed for work.

But whatever the topic is, you’ve grown used to the conversations that he’s been having with the back of your head.

And here you are again. Lying stiff as a twig by Iwaizumi’s side and listening intently to his voice.

“I wish you’d heard what Shittykawa did today…” He rasps softly.

“...Even though he’s all the way in Argentina, literally surrounded by beaches and resorts, he still hardly takes a day off. That dumbass sprained his ankle and kept practicing for another hour.” Iwaizumi sighed, his thumb barely skimming the surface of your forearm.

If you’d actually been asleep (like he’d thought you were), you’re sure you wouldn’t have felt the brush of his fingertips. It was too delicate. Too careful.

Honestly, you’re just glad he still holds you this tenderly. Especially late at night when you’d least expect his affection. After all, you’ve not had a chance to cuddle with him in a while.

Iwaizumi had been getting home later every single day for the past few weeks and for good reason. He felt obligated to stay with Japan’s national team into the darker hours of the night as the Olympic games approached. And you admire his dedication. You’re so proud of him for chasing after his passions and it would never dawn on you to undermine his career by holding your relationship with him over his head.

But this usually meant that, by the time he cracked the bedroom door open, you two would only have a few moments to share some words and a quick kiss before tucking under the covers. You, of course, missed his voice. And he longed to hear yours.

However, as you closed your tired eyes, Iwaizumi’s would remain wide open, body and mind relentlessly processing through another intense day. You’ve never said a word to him about his shifting and deep sighs, worried that he might feel guilty for keeping you awake with him. Yet still, you feel Iwaizumi’s exhaustion in the way his weary arm drapes around your waist. There’s a tautness, a sort of tension, there.

So you do your best to remain completely still in his hold, hoping that your outward calm would bring him some inward peace. That your steady breath might lull him into a state of rest. That you could be the anchor to his rocking boat, like he’d always been for you when your life got windy and overwhelming. But even with your best, silent efforts, he stayed alert and somewhat unsteady.

That’s when the whispery words would start… and you soon came to the realization that he was talking to you.

You hear the rustle of his hair as he runs a firm hand through it. A small smile adorns your lips as he continues his line of thought, Iwaizumi’s breath wafting across the back of your neck.

“Y/n, he’s such an idiot and he won’t listen to me anymore… maybe I’ll get you to text him tomorrow. You’re so good for him and… maybe a little nicer than I am.” Iwaizumi admits.

There’s a pause and you wonder if that’s it. If that’s the end of his dialogue for the night… but there’s more this time.

“And, God y/n, I missed you today.”

The confession shakes you. Your chest tightens as you try to take it all in.

You’re pretty sure you weren’t supposed to hear that.

Those words were reserved for the most... intimate of moments. For trembling tears or reunions after long distances or maybe hot, heavy kisses after a frustrating day. But, as a general rule, you hardly ever heard those tender remarks out of the blue. After all, Iwaizumi is a man of actions and not so much a lover of words.

So this is new, to say the least. You’re dumbstruck. Your heart is beating far faster than it should be - especially since you’ve been dating him for over a year now.

However, it wasn’t just the words that stunned you. His tone was different too. Where there usually would be, there wasn’t an ounce of embarrassment in Iwaizumi’s voice. It wasn’t rushed; not bashful or heated like some of his past devotions and confessions had seemed.

Tonight’s Iwaizumi is perfectly sincere. No, not just sincere. Fond.

Fond and maybe a tad wistful. Vocal inflection isn’t exactly Iwa’s forte, at least not when it came to sweet words in passing. So this is a historical moment in your book.

Thus, you let your cheeks burn a little longer and shut your eyes a little tighter in order to hear his next words.

“And I miss your voice.” He adds, tone dropping into what seems like… longing.

Iwaizumi pulls you a little closer into his bare chest, the rise and fall breath now pushing up against your own back. He’s really pushing it now.

It feels wrong listening into a conversation when the words are meant for you, but at the same time they aren’t. Who wouldn’t be conflicted? He had clearly trusted that your closed eyes and barely moving figure meant you were deeply asleep. That you couldn’t possibly hear a word he was saying.

I mean you had to say something, right?

So you inhale quietly, preparing to insert yourself into the one-sided discussion.

“...I wish you’d said something sooner, Iwa.”

You almost startle yourself with your own voice, the once soft atmosphere of the moonlit room, turning frigid.

Iwaizumi’s whole body goes stiff, arms frozen in place. He holds his breath and the gentle tickling of air on your neck pauses with it.

You shift your head to look back at him, his eyes already peering into your own. He was red. Beet red. Enough so that you could see it in the dim light of the room. You could practically feel the heat radiating off of his neck and arms, embarrassment flooding through every inch of his body.

“How… how long have you been listening to me?” Iwaizumi whispers, voice wavering almost as though he doesn’t want to hear your answer.

You blink.

Should you only tell him about tonight?

Or would it be better to let him know that he hasn’t had a single midnight conversation this week that you hadn’t listened in on?

You opt for honesty, knowing that he would probably be able to tell if you were lying anyways.

“Everything from this past… week?” You say shyly, slinking away from him, but one of Iwaizumi’s strong arms holds you in place.

His head falls back to his pillow and the other arm covers his eyes. As many times as he’d slipped up in front of you, he’d really done it this time. You must think he’s so strange. Why was he always doing stuff like this? Of course you would hear him.

I should’ve just kept my damn mouth shut, Iwaizumi thinks, his body still being flamed by an internal furnace from all the other embarrassing things he now remembers rattling off to you in your ‘sleeping’ state.

“But I liked listening to you.” You cut in quickly, sensing his discomfort and attempting to smooth it over with gentle words.

“And we… don’t get to talk much lately. So I- I just didn’t want to say anything because… I like the sound of your voice. You’re actually very soothing, Iwa.” You’re still sleepy, so the words come out choppily... but considering the circumstances, it wasn’t the worst recovery.

If it weren’t for the blushing male in front of you, you would probably feel just as flustered by the whole situation. But somehow, you kept your cool, too focused on calming Iwaizumi down in his flushed state.

“...Y/n?”

“Yes?” You breathe out.

“Just… just come here already.” He takes his hand away from his burning face and turns toward you.

You’re immediately pulled snug against him, your front meeting his chest, legs twining around his toned ones. Iwaizumi has a hand behind your neck tucking you into the crook of his neck as he hides his face from you, chin resting softly atop your head.

“I’ll call Oikawa tomorrow.” You joke, breaking the tension.

“It’s shittykawa.” He corrects. “And please forget about everything I said.” His tone dropping, turning sour.

A humored sigh leaves your lips.

He feels your mouth smiling faintly against his collar bone, which only sends him further into this embarrassed affection for you.

You were really something.

Never making him feel bad for running late hours. Letting him crawl into bed with you way past midnight when you could easily demand more time from him. Listening to his rambles, some more crass than others, consciously without judgement.

He’d found a treasure in you. A golden, shimmering treasure that didn’t need light to be seen. You shone even under the pale, underwhelming moonlight that peered through the window blinds.

So Iwaizumi finds himself pressing a few soft kisses onto your forehead. You plant a couple lingering ones on his neck in return and he squeezes you even closer into him.

And just as the two of you begin to drift off, you decide to top the night off with a cherry of sorts.

“Iwa?”

“Yes, y/n?” His voice at a whisper, once again.

“I’ve missed you too.”

---

Do Not Repost

tags: @cherryonigiri, @yams046, @miss-rin, @shou-kunn, @senkuwu-chan, @super-noya, @stcrryskies, @holaaaf, @sugacookiies, @vintgicals, @moonlightaangel, @kit-tea, @theworldupthere, @sugasugawarau, @randomesk-yuku, @ideshine, @macaronnv, @anseoo, @aprettyfruit, @bbakougo, @bloom-uwu, @spikertrash, @iguessimastannow

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#haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi hajime #iwaizumi #haikyuu fluff #hq #hq x reader #hq imagines #hq scenarios #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios #iwaizumi imagines #iwaizumi scenarios #aoba johsai #seijoh #oikawa #oikawa tooru #sneezefiction

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lucysometimeswrites · 4 years ago

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SUBMISSION: Prompt 1,20,29 from the Disney song list with Harry Holland ( I’m interested to see how this goes)

DUDE i am so sorry this took SOOOOO long but i hadn't had time for it and i didn't wanna just give you something rushed so anyway i hope you like it!

1. Please don’t shut me out again, please don’t slam the door.

20. Go on and kiss the girl.

29. Barely even friends, then somebody bends, unexpectedly

---------------------------------------------

“God, that’s disgusting”, you grimaced at the newly-formed couple who was making out in the living room. The Holland’s living room, to be precise. Harry and you had been friends for a while, close enough to be invited to get-togethers and random drinking evenings. This was one of those evenings, where everyone wanted to unwind and have a good laugh to inaugurate the weekend, and Harry offered the perfect way to do that.

I mean, free booze, the guy you liked, and good music? How could you say no?

You and Harry had hit it off quite quickly after first meeting a few years ago, through mutual friends. You had a lot of similar interests, same sort of humour, and even in the things you thought differently on, you learned to like for the other. He was an absolute dream. Everyone saw it, too. They secretly hoped you’d get together soon, and already assumed something happened between the two of you but, alas, here you were. Angry at life and that innocent couple in the living room because of the stupid, lovey-dovey thoughts that just wouldn’t go away.

“Why the long face?” Harry asked with a chuckle as he entered the kitchen, stopping beside you and turning to look where your angry stare was headed.

You nodded towards the living room, and answered, “Them. Like, can you not do it in front of my face, please?”

“But you’re all the way here in the kitchen?” he said, confused.

“Shut up” you ended, giving a big swig of your cup. A silence made itself at home between you too, not necessarily uncomfortable as you would expect, but a little suffocating. You became self-conscious about every move you made, hating how the curly-headed boy could turn you into a mess with just his presence.

“I think it’s cute” he shrugged, breaking the silence.

“They’re barely even friends, then somebody bends, unexpectedly. Ha, what a joke” you challenged.

The quiet settled again and you didn’t notice, but Harry side-eyed you while a million thought ran through his mind. He remembered that one night where you found yourselves in a similar situation. Both drunk off your asses and looking at the world through a pink lens, you shared an intimate kiss just weeks after meeting each other. He also remembered how, after trying to talk about it with you, you shut him out and didn’t speak to him for an entire two weeks. It was after promising he’d never bring it up again that you ended the silent treatment, much to his delight.

As the night went on, you kept going into the kitchen for more drink refills, feeling a little tipsy. The people, getting rowdier and nastier, went on to find the darkest spots in the house for their shenanigans, and you were so distracted that you didn’t even realize when you were dragged to a circle that formed in the living room. The announcement that the classic “Spin The Bottle” game was about to be played was made and yup, cue the eye roll.

A bunch of rounds went by with no one you actually cared to remember the name of getting their turn, until the guy who looked a little to drunk to be managing the game yelled,

“Harry! My boy! Your turn to snog one of these lucky ladies here tonight” he motioned to the girls sitting around the circle, who all bit their lips or looked down in embarrassment.

“Snog? Shut up, mate,” the red-head answered and confidently spun the bottle.

You held your breath and did not tear your eyes from it, the stupid thing seeming to spin for ages until it slowly came to a stop.

Pointing at you.

Of course it’s me, you thought as you closed your eyes, damning every single power in the universe. When you opened them, Harry was intently staring at you, as if studying any movement you might make and trying to figure out what was going through your head. In response, you got on your knees and lightly slapped you hands on your thighs, showing you were ready. He didn’t move an inch, still analyzing your face. Harry knew this was thin ice he was treading on—one wrong move and everything would go to shit. He was dying to press his lips on yours, even if it was just a game, but the memories from a few weeks back flooded his mind and—

“C’mon mate! Go on and kiss the girl!” the guy from earlier encouraged.

Well, why the fuck not?, you both thought at the same time.

Harry crawled to you and you met him halfway, lips clashing with force and desire. His hand made its way to cradle your cheek and part of your neck, guiding the kiss and making you melt into a puddle instantly. Your mouth opened a little more, letting him kiss you deeper and hungrier like no one has ever before. It was absolutely everything you had ever wanted.

And it was everything you couldn’t have.

Parting your lips with your hands on his chest, you felt tears well up in your eyes, and whispered for only you and him to hear,

“This is why the fuck not”

You hurriedly got up as everyone cheered and hooted after the heated show they saw, quickly glancing at Harry but rushing towards the upstairs bathroom.

“Please! Y/N, wait!

Hearing a faint call of your name and footsteps catching up to you, you almost ran for the room you deemed safe. Before going in, however, Harry’s voice made you stop in your tracks.

“Please, please. Please don’t shut me out again, please don’t slam the door”, he begged.

You felt his presence a few feet behind you, the dark hallway only aiding in the tense atmosphere that surrounded you. Not daring to move an inch, the only thing you could do was stare ahead at the shower curtain, your mind going a thousand miles a minute on how anything that happened in the next few moments could make or break you.

A pair of warm, shaky hands found their place on your shoulders, making you tense and then relax as they carefully and lovingly caressed their way down your arms. You felt the ghost of his chest against your back, his breath fanning on your neck and you closed your eyes, savouring the moment but dreading having to face him and look him in the eye. Gently, he grabbed your elbows and turned you to him, still very close to you.

In all honesty, Harry did not have a plan. He ran after you because there was no way he was letting you get away once more, but now that he caught up to you and had you so close to him, he had no clue what to do. His mind had gone blank, the only thing filling it was the image of you. You, whom he had shared so many memories with. You, with the beautiful laugh and crinkly eyes that brought butterflies to his chest every time. You, who never failed to bring happiness into his life, even if you weren’t on the best terms. You, whom he loved so much.

Leaning his forehead against yours, he quietly pleaded one more time, “Please don’t run away from me again”.

“I’m not,” you answered with the same tone, eyes still very much closed.

“You were going to, though”

“I’m sorry”

“Why?” he furrowed his brows.

“For trying to run away”, you answered swiftly to each question, surprisingly. As if all your walls had been brought down just by his simple, loving touch.

“No, why do you keep running away?”

Not so swift anymore, huh?

You stayed silent, not knowing how to answer his question without sounding like a little girl scared of the dark.

“Y/N” he said again, waiting for your answer. His hands moved from your arms to your hands, stopping both pairs from shaking and lightly intertwining your fingers.

You knew you had to come clean. It wasn’t fair to him for you to not give him answers, and not fair to you to keep feeling this angst. So, still very quietly, you answered.

“I’m scared. I’m scared that I’m gonna get hurt if I let you in or that I may hurt you if you let me in. Or both. I care about you so much and I don’t want to ruin our relationship because what we have is great but I also really want to be with you and love you but then I’m also scared because of what I just sai—” your ramble being cut off by Harry’s chapped lips.

His hands held both sides of your face, making you feel secure in his embrace and the soft kiss radiating adoration. He poured everything he felt for you in it, only hoping you could feel it too and that it would bring you out of that fear that had you so trapped in yourself.

He broke the kiss, lightly running his thumb over your cheek and reassuring you immediately.

“With me? Darling, you don’t have to be scared with me. I promise you I feel the exact same way, I love you so much and the last thing I want or will do is hurt you, but I can’t let you get away anymore. I want to make you feel loved and make you feel happy and I want everyone to know you’re mine and that I’m yours. Please let me do that, Y/N. Let me love you the way you deserve to be and I promise you won’t—”

It was you who interrupted him this time. During his small speech, you felt safe enough to open your eyes and see him. You saw the honestly and frustration in his face, desperately wanting you to understand how he felt. It made you realize that you would rather spend a few moments loving each other than the rest of your life watching him with someone else, not knowing what could have been.

“Okay,” you said after parting ways.

“Okay?” he asked you, eyes frantically scanning your features for any sign of doubt or humour.

“Yes. Yes, let’s do it!” you giggled, him mirroring your actions and pulling you into his chest for a tight hug. He buried his face in your hair and yours in his chest, feeling relief course through him at the idea of you being taken by none other than him. Just holding each other, you were about to share another kiss until a random voice interrupted you from behind,

“...can I use the bathroom now?”.

#harry holland #harry holland x reader #harry holland imagine #harry holland blurb #harry holland x y/n #harry holland fic #harry holland fluff #harry holland angst #harry holland fanfiction #harry holland one shot #harry holland x you #harry holland imagines #harry holland blurbs #submission

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hangezoeenthusiast · 4 years ago

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Brother

m!reader

synopsis: you were best friends, brothers, that went down in flames and ashes by every. single. thing. dream did horribly(this depicts that dream is canonically puffy's son)

y/n/n = your nickname

warnings: angst, cursing, slapping of the hand, yelling, fighting, blood, cigarretes, wounds, pushing, drowning, punching, killing of mushroom henry, explosion, prison, distinct description of death ig

word count: 2,353

song: brother by kodaline

𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙬𝙚 𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙜, 𝙬𝙚 𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙨, 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙚𝙣𝙨 (𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙤𝙧𝙙𝙨) 𝙤𝙝 𝙮𝙚𝙖𝙝, 𝙬𝙚 𝙧𝙪𝙡𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙡𝙙

"Dream, look what I found, a cave!" you exclaimed. "Let's go look what's inside." stated Dream. You two were only 9, searching the world for treasure. "Ohh, Dream, I found some diamonds, you want some?" you asked. "Nah, it's your y/n/n." he looked at you with bliss basking in his eyes.

𝙒𝙚 𝙨𝙢𝙤𝙠𝙚𝙙 𝙘𝙞𝙜𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙨 𝙢𝙖𝙣 𝙣𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙜𝙧𝙚𝙩𝙨, 𝙬𝙞𝙨𝙝 𝙄 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙧𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙡𝙚 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙

"What's that in your hand, Dream?" you questioned. "It's cigarretes, I found it on the ground." You slapped it out of his hands, "Dream, you can't have that!" "Why not Y/n/n, come one, aren't you curious."

“Mom told me that those could kill you.”

“Well don’t listen to mom, she doesn’t know anything.” debated Dream.

𝙒𝙚’𝙫𝙚 𝙩𝙖𝙠𝙚𝙣 𝙙𝙞𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙥𝙖𝙩𝙝𝙨, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙫𝙚𝙡��𝙚𝙙 𝙙𝙞𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙧𝙤𝙖𝙙𝙨, 𝙄 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙬𝙚’𝙡𝙡 𝙖𝙡𝙬𝙖𝙮𝙨 𝙚𝙣𝙙 𝙪𝙥 𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙖𝙢𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙬𝙚’𝙧𝙚 𝙤𝙡𝙙

“Y/n, don’t you see, L’Manchild is trash, come with me, Sapnap, George, and Eret, the castle is way much better.” Dream tried to convince you to betray L’Manburg like Eret did. “No Dream, it’s L’Manburg by the way. And also, even though we are siblings it doesn’t mean I’m always going to be on your side.”

He was disappointed in you. He thought that L’Manburg poisoned your mind and thoughts, and that he would be your savior, destroying L’Manburg so they could be free of your mind. That failed though, and you sided with the 2 British Children, and the British Man-Child.

𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪’𝙧𝙚 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙝𝙚𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙮𝙤𝙪’𝙧𝙚 𝙪𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧 𝙛𝙞𝙧𝙚 𝙄 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙘𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙮𝙤𝙪

“Watch out Dream!” you exclaimed. You blocked an arrow coming towards Dream’s way. “Thanks Y/n.”

“This doesn’t mean I forgive you though.”

𝙄𝙛 𝙄 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙙𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙤𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙠𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙨, 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙗𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙘𝙪𝙚 𝙢𝙚

“Y/n, are you ok?” he questioned. You had gotten hit by a stray firework, skin burning off into blisters. “Yeah, it just hurts a bit.” you groaned. It did not hurt a bit, it hurt a lot.

“Y/N, I know you, you feel like shit don’t you?” he told you. “Yeah actually.”

“Ok then, let me just get some stuff.” He started to get a few items, like healing pots, bandages, some towels, and cleaning alcohol. “Ok I’m back, which wound you want me to take care of first?” “The burn.” you responded.

He picked up a towel, and some alcohol, and placed it on the burn wound. “Ow.” you hissed.

“Shut up you big baby.”

You hid your pain from Dream. He then bandanged your arm, and then made you drink the healing potions, but you retaliated.

“Clay, I’m not drinking that , you could poison me.”

“I’m not gonna poison you, just drink it.”

“But what if it tastes bad?”

“It’s not going to taste bad, just drink it.”

“Ok, give it to me.”

“Wait, let me feed it to you.”

“WHAT, I’M NOT A BABY.”

“DO IT.”

“NO, LET ME DO IT MYSELF.”

𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙞𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙙𝙧𝙤𝙬𝙣𝙚𝙙 𝙖𝙩 𝙨𝙚𝙖, 𝙄’𝙙 𝙜𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙢𝙮 𝙡𝙪𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙨𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙗𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝𝙚

You met up with Schlatt at a cliff near the sea, he wanted a private meeting with you. He knew that you were betraying him, and giving intel to Pogtopia. “Hey L/N, I need to ask you something.” “Yeah, what is it Schlatt?” “Can you swim?”

“No I can’t, why?”

“It was just random, Y/n, I need to tell you something.” He got closer to you, and getting into your personal bubble, “Hey Schlatt, can you back up a little bit?” you asked. You were starting to be uncomfy around him.

“Nah, I’m not.” That was the last words you ever heard. He pushed you off the cliff, making you fall into your impending doom. Schlatt asked you that weird question so he could kill you, he couldn’t have a weak spot in Manburg.

You fell, and you fell, until your body hit the cold, freezing water. Your body trying to resist the water to enter, skin turning blue. You closed your eyes, accepting your fate, until you saw a shadow behind your eyes, reaching for you.

𝙄’𝙫𝙚 𝙜𝙤𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙗𝙧𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧-𝙚𝙧-𝙚𝙧, 𝙄’𝙫𝙚 𝙜𝙤𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙗𝙧𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧-𝙚𝙧-𝙚𝙧, 𝙄’𝙫𝙚 𝙜𝙤𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙗𝙧𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧-𝙚𝙧-𝙚𝙧, 𝙄’𝙫𝙚 𝙜𝙤𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙗𝙧𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧-𝙚𝙧-𝙚𝙧

“Are you ok Y/n, Y/n, wake up.” You felt hands patting your cheeks hard, trying to wake you up. You dragged Dream’s hands of your face, “Ok calm down, I’m ok.”

“OK, WHAT DO YOU MEAN OK, YOU ALMOST DIED.” he yelled at you. “Dream, at least I’m alive.” “Ok, just never leave me.” he hugged you. You patted his back, “Ok Dreamie.”

𝙊𝙝 𝙗𝙧𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧, 𝙬𝙚’𝙡𝙡 𝙜𝙤 𝙙𝙚𝙚𝙥𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙞𝙣𝙠 𝙤𝙛 𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙩𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙤𝙤𝙨

“Hey Dream, guess what?” “What is it Y/n?” “I got a new tattoo!” “WHAT!” he screamed at you, “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU GOT A TATTOO.”

𝙏𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝 𝙬𝙚 𝙙𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙨𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙖𝙢𝙚 𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙤𝙙, 𝙮𝙤𝙪’𝙧𝙚 𝙢𝙮 𝙗𝙧𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙄 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩’𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙩𝙧𝙪𝙩𝙝

“Dream, don’t you realize that we’re adopted?” “No we’re not.” he retaliated. “Clay, who, disgustingly, did the dirty with mom to make us, huh, answer me.”

“Well she... oh.” “It’s ok Dream, we’re still mom’s children and we are still brothers.”

𝙒𝙚’𝙧𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙫𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙙𝙞𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙡𝙞𝙫𝙚𝙨, 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙤𝙣𝙡𝙮 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬𝙨, 𝙞𝙛 𝙬𝙚’𝙡𝙡 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙞𝙩 𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙧𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙩𝙤𝙚𝙨

“Are you sure you wanna do this Y/n?” “Always Dream.” You guys were sparing, reluctantly from Puffy. It was a chance that you would’ve gotten a limb cut off, but you didn’t consider it.

5 𝙮𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙨, 20 𝙮𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙨, 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙞𝙩 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙖𝙡𝙬𝙖𝙮𝙨 𝙗𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙖𝙢𝙚

You both were laying besides each other at age 10, talking about random things when Dream asked you something, “Hey Y/n.” he whispered to you. “Yeah Clay?” “When we’re 20, will we still be brothers?” “Of course Dreamie, always.”

𝙄𝙛 𝙄 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙙𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙤𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙠𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙨, 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙗𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙘𝙪𝙚 𝙢𝙚

You got stabbed by Technoblade, through the ribs, bleeding on the ground. Dream ran towards you, trying to hurry up. “Y/n, hey, wake up.” You were spluttering out blood from your red-stained lips, “It’s ok Clay, I got another canon life.” “Ok, I’ll wait for you at your house.”

You heard talking, especially from the side of you. “Wake up or I’ll throw water at you.” “Wake up bitch.” “Fuck you.” you groaned. You got up, and saw Dream near you. You palmed your face and dragged it down, “Why are you here?”

“Because you got killed by little Mr. Blood God and I was waiting for you.”

“Well don’t.”

𝙄’𝙫𝙚 𝙜𝙤𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙗𝙧𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧-𝙚𝙧-𝙚𝙧, 𝙄’𝙫𝙚 𝙜𝙤𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙗𝙧𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧-𝙚𝙧-𝙚𝙧

“Hey, you son of a bitch, come back here!” Dream yelled after you. “No I’m not, you exiled Tommy out of nowhere, why, just because he was just pissing you off.” you exclaimed.

There was no reason for him to exile Tommy, and for what, power over him, “Dream, get back here, we’re not done talking about this.”

𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙞𝙛 𝙬𝙚 𝙝𝙞𝙩 𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙗𝙡𝙚𝙙 𝙬𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙧, 𝙄’𝙡𝙡 𝙗𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙠𝙚𝙚𝙥 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙢 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙨𝙖𝙛𝙚

"DREAM, I SWEAR TO ENDER COME BACK-" You stumbled on your words, when you were faced with a weird phenomenon. It was an exploded piece of land, and you wondered what was it. You then realized that Dream had put Tommy in that area so he could keep an eye on him. "DREAM, YOU COME HERE RIGHT NOW MISTER, I GOTTA BONE TO PICK WITH YOU."

You heard whimpering from behind a tree, and you slowly walked towards it when you saw a messed up Tommyinnit, clothes ripped in various places to the point where they weren’t even clothes, feet barefooted, and dirt messily placed on his face, like he hadn’t ever taken a bath in his entire life.

You placed a hand in front of you, “Hey man, you ok?” He pushed your hand away and sobbed, “No, you’re the reason for this.” “What do you mean Tommy, I didn’t do this.” you inquired. “It was your stupid brother Dream, he blew up this place, he even killed my cow, Mushroom Henry.”

You slammed the door behind you, and stomped towards Dream, and punched him in the nose.

“OW, WHAT THE FUCK Y/N.”

“NO, YOU WHAT THE FUCK, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, TOMMY IS A CHILD, HE DOESN’T DESERVE THIS TREATMENT, YOU BARELY TREAT HIM LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, YOU KILLED MUSHROOM HENRY, BLEW UP HIS HOME, BLEW UP HIS ITEMS THAT HE SPENT MANY HOURS AND DAYS GETTING, WHY DREAM, WHY DO YOU LIKE GIVING PEOPLE SUFFERING IN THIS SERVER. I’M SICK OF YOU AND YOUR TREATMENT TOWARDS EVERYONE, IT’S LIKE YOU OWN THE PLACE.” you rambled, getting every thought out of your head.

You were infuriated with Clay, the way he treated everyone was sickening.

𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙬𝙚’𝙡𝙡 𝙗𝙚 𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙚𝙖𝙘𝙝 𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧, 𝙪𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙡 𝙬𝙚 𝙨𝙖𝙮 𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙𝙗𝙮𝙚 𝙤𝙣 𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙙𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙙𝙖𝙮

“The reason why I didn’t tell you is because I knew you would be mad.” he tried to reason with you. “NO, WHAT YOU DID WAS INSANE, HE’S A CHILD DREAM, HE’S 17, AND YOU’RE PRACTICALLY TORTURING HIM. You deserve to go into prison.”

𝘽𝙚𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙄’𝙫𝙚 𝙜𝙤𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙗𝙧𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧-𝙚𝙧-𝙚𝙧, 𝙄’𝙫𝙚 𝙜𝙤𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙗𝙧𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧-𝙚𝙧-𝙚𝙧, 𝙄’𝙫𝙚 𝙜𝙤𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙗𝙧𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧-𝙚𝙧-𝙚𝙧, 𝙄’𝙫𝙚 𝙜𝙤𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙗𝙧𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧-𝙚𝙧-𝙚𝙧

Everyone gathered around Dream, waiting for him to retaliate against Tommy, but he didn’t, he knew his inevitable fate, his fate to live the rest of his sad life in prison, with barely to none human interaction.

“Dream, I told you months ago that you deserved prison, and you finally got it, I hope you rot in prison, feel the flesh seep off your bones, hope you feel the pain that you gave Tommy during exile during your painful time.” You stated him in his eyes, trying to reflect the betrayal through yours.

𝙄𝙛 𝙄 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙙𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙤𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙠𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙨, 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙗𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙘𝙪𝙚 𝙢𝙚, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙞𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙙𝙧𝙤𝙬𝙣𝙚𝙙 𝙖𝙩 𝙨𝙚𝙖, 𝙄’𝙙 𝙜𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙢𝙮 𝙡𝙪𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙨𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙗𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝𝙚

“Hey Y/n.” Sam said. “Hey Mister Prison Guard, how you doing?” you joked. “Ummm, normally I wouldn’t do this, but Dream needs you right now.” You paused your joking face and blankly stared at Sam, “What do you mean he needs me?”

“Um, he wants you to visit him, now normally I would brush his request right off, but he keeps on nagging-” You cut off Sam, “It’s ok, I’ll visit, but only for a short period of time.”

You got to the prison with Sam, when you had to go through a whole process of setting your bed, getting a whole bunch of potions thrown at you, setting your items in a locker, etc.

You were standing in front of the lava wall, waiting for Sam to do something, “Y/n, are you sure of this?” he questioned. “Yeah.” you shrugged.

Sam pressed a few buttons, and the lava slowly fell down, making a big clearing, for you to see your brother.

Brother, you couldn’t believe Clay was related to you, you were ashamed, you couldn’t even be around Tommy. “Go on the honey block, and move with it.” Sam demanded of you. You standed on the block, and waited for Sam. “Ok Y/n, see you on the other side.” “See you on the other side Sam.” you saluted him.

The honey block began to move, and you with it. It went on and on, until you reached the obsidian prison that held Dream.

“Hello brother.”

“Hello Dream.”

There was a moment of silence until you spoke up, “Why did you call me here?” “I don’t know, I just wanted some company.” “Company, company, I have important stuff I need to go do and you just wanted plain old company, that’s bullshit, tell me the real reason.”

He rolled his eyes, “What if I just wanted to hang out with my little bro?” “That isn’t your ulterior motive, Dream.”

“Well, seriously, I do want to hang out with you, I have no one in here.”

“Good.”

“Ahhh, so I get that you’re upset with me.” he chided. “I’m more than mad are you I’m fur-” “Yadadada, I’ve heard this speech a bunch of times.”

You stared at him with confusing lacing your eyes, “When did you become this way?” “What do you mean?” he asked. “So manipulative and deceiving, how?” “I’m not manipulative.” argued Dream. “Yeah, sure, and I wasn’t adopted, Dream, why did you become this, this instrument of destruction, where is the big brother I know, the one who allowed me to sleep in his bed when I had nightmares, the brother that would help me with enchanting my items, where is that Dream?” Your eyes started to water, Clay didn’t go along with his promise, he messed up everything, you both where supposed to go through everything together, every little single thing.

“I’m sorry, Y/n/n.”

“Sorry doesn’t cut it, you aren’t allowed to call me Y/n/n, only my family calls me that.”

You looked back, heading towards the wall of lava, calling out for Sam to take you back to the real world, where Dream’s presence isn’t there. You said one last thing, “You’ll never be my family, not while you continuously hurt people I care for, consider me a nuisance in your life, a little bug that you need to get rid of, you know what, just don’t consider me as anything, not anymore.”

(An oh break)

𝙄’𝙫𝙚 𝙜𝙤𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙗𝙧𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧-𝙚𝙧-𝙚𝙧, 𝙄’𝙫𝙚 𝙜𝙤𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙗𝙧𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧-𝙚𝙧-𝙚𝙧

“It’s ok Y/n, I’m here, I promise I will never let anyone hurt you, never.”

That flashback, he swore to protect you through the rough times. I guess he didn’t fulfill his promise, he hurt you. The one he sworn to protect with his whole being, with his heart and soul, with everything he had until he crumbled.

(This was emotional damn, I cried during the prison part a little bit, just a little tearing up)

111 notes · View notes

gayaristocrat · 4 years ago

Text

I Got Everything I wanted...

Episode 1: Filmed Before a Live Studio Audience...

Pairing: Vision x Male Reader

Taglist: N/A

‼️Authors Note‼️: I'm finally at a point where I can write this story. I know that It is long overdue, so I hope this can make up for it. This story is going to be breaking the 4th wall a lot since they tend to do that in the actual show. Also, please let me know in my Inbox/Askbox if you would like to be tagged every time I upload a story to this series. While reading this, you may realize that it seems rushed, and that's because it was. I wanted to put this out as soon as I possibly could. Also since you guys voted that I just divide it up into parts for you to read. I will be uploading part 2 whenever I am able to.

Summary: (Male Name) and Vision struggle to conceal their powers during dinner with Vision's boss and his wife

Time Period: 1956 (So everything in this chapter is going to be colorless and in black and white)

Word count: 4k+

Word Key:

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Have you ever dreamed of living the life you always wanted? Have you ever dreamed of something so bad to the point where you would do anything to get it. Have you ever dreamed of something so bad to the point where all of your care for others went out the window? Have you ever dreamed of wanting something so bad to the point where you would stop anyone who gets in your way.

"(Male Name), I love you so much. Please don't do this, cant you see that everyone is hurting, that everyone is in so much pain?"

"I'm sorry Vision, but I can't. I can't loose you...not again. I never meant for things to be this way, but now I can't go back. Not without you"

---REWIND MANY EPISODES BACK---

For a second, everything is black. The TV clicks on and a burst of grey static illuminates the screen. Everything is black and white, not a single drop of color is in the area. A happily little tune starts playing as a colorless 1956 Buick Special drives up a tiny hill and back down past a sign which says 'Speed Limit 35'. The camera angle changes to the back of the car, showing a banner above the license plate, 'Just Married'. Next, the camera cuts to us, (Male Name) and Vision, newlywed husbands.

It finally happened, we finally got married! Both of us turn take a quick look and smile at each other with nothing but love and glee, it seemed like nothing could go wrong in this moment.

🎵Oh~

A newlywed couple just moved into town,

A regular husband and husband,🎵

Vision turns his head back to the road and continues driving until we turn down a happy little neighborhood. Each house on the street has a pattern of different color greys with black roofs, their yards decorated with equally bland colorless flowers and grass. Children playing outside, and adults chatting with one another while they tend to their gardens, or while walking their dogs. Everyone is just so cheery and happy, even the mailman waves at us as we pass him. Everything is exactly the way it's supposed to be, perfect.

🎵Who left the big city,

To find a quiet life,

(Male Name)Vision!🎵

Vision drives into the driveway of our new home. We quickly hop out of the car and approach the house, but before we walk in I take notice of the 'For Sale' sign still in the yard. I quickly flick my hand and use my magic to change the sign to 'Sold'. After that I dust my hands off with a proud smile on my face as Vision scoops me in his arms bridal style, opens the front door, and carries me inside. I flick my wrist again and the front door closes and locks as we both move to the Livingroom of our already decorated 2 story home.

🎵He's a magical boy,

In a small town locale

And a hubby who's part machine,

How will this duo fit in and pull through?🎵

Once Vision puts me back on my feet, we start swaying with the jingle playing in the background while title cards pop up of written words that I don't care to read right now since I'm too busy enjoying this happy moment with my new husband. Vision then gives me a little twirl before wrapping his arms around my waist as we both dip into a loving heartfelt kiss.

🎵Oh, by sharing a love,

Like you've never seen

(Male Name)Vision!🎵

---SCENE CHANGE---

The scene suddenly changes as the lights flick on and cameras start rolling. You start the scene off by walking into the kitchen and start making your way to one of the grey drawers next to the oven and you grab one of your favorite aprons. Humming a little tune, you wrap the white cloth around your waist and start observing the kitchen to see what needs to be picked up or cleaned. Deciding to work on putting up the dishes, you raise your hand and the newly cleaned plates start levitating off of the counters and float off to the display racks, you then raise your other hand and a dark colored dish cloth floats out of the cabinet and it begins drying a glass cup. You then turn your back to the cup to observe if it had been cleaned good enough, suddenly you jump as a loud crash echoes through out the kitchen. Turn to see what the problem is, you only to find Vision looking up from today's news paper and glances at the shattered plate at the ground while a laughing crown erupts out of nowhere.

"My husband and his flying saucers" He says in his thick English accent (or is it British🤔), with a joking tone.

"My husband and his indestructible head" I reply back in the same tone as another laugh erupts from the crowd.

He then folds his newspaper and walked over to your direction, giving you a kiss on the cheek when he arrived, causing you to chuckle while twirling your finger, making the plate form back to it's original round shape before it floats off to it's designated spot.

"Vision, honey, what do you say to silver dollar pancakes, crispy hash browns, bacon, eggs, freshly squeezed orang juice and black coffee?" You say while walking over to the refrigerator, opening it and bending down, getting ready to grab out everything needed to make the meal for him.

"I'd say 'Oh, I don't eat food' " He says smiling at me, while the crown laughs again.

You look inside the fridge and hum to yourself in surprise while putting all the pieces together in your head before saying "Well, that explains the empty refrigerator then"

"(Male Name), my darling. Is there something special about today?"

"Well, I know the apron is a bit much dear, but I'm doing my best to blend in and have the 'Perfect House Husband' look." You say walking to meet him, assuming he's talking about the apron.

"No no, you don't have to try, you already are the perfect house husband." He says as he lightly grabs your chin with his pointer finger and thumb and lightly giving you a 'boop' on the nose. "But I was referring to the calendar. Someone's drawn a heart right above today's date." You then looked at him as you cluelessly try to figure out what he's talking about, so he puts his hands on your shoulders and turns you around to face the calendar behind you and he rests his chin on your head as you both look at the heart.

Trying to act like you know what day it is, you say "Well...d..dont tell me you've forgotten Vis?"

"Oh silly (y/n), I'm incapable of forgetfulness. I remember everything. That's not an exaggeration. In fact, I'm even incapable of exaggeration" He rambles boastfully.

"Hmm, well then if that's true, then maybe you can tell me what's so important about today's date"

He pauses for a second and thinks before he blows a slow puff of air out of his mouth, then deciding on saying "Uhhh...what was the question again? Oh well, no matter, perhaps you've forgotten yourself"

"Me? Heavens, no, haha. I've been so looking forward to it."

You both have actually been looking forward to day. Today you are celebrating...The first time you...uhhh...have ever celebrated this occasion before. It's a special day indeed, perhaps an evening?...of great significance?...to you both, naturally.. obviously...exactly! Well done for the both of you.

You two ramble on for a few more minutes trying to drill the other into spilling on what was so special about today, but you two couldn't since you were both obviously unknowing about it, then Vision remembered something.

"Well, sorry darling, that's me off to work, then." Vison says fixing his grey suit jacket and grabbing his suitcase walking to the front door. You quickly grab his hat hanging on the coat rack and place it on his head, fixing it to make it look straight.

"Also don't forget-"

"(Male Name), my dear how many times do I have to tell you I don't forg- oh you mean my face right?"

You nod letting him know that was what you were getting at. The audience laughs again as he quickly shakes his head and his face and hands transform from cold metal to warm flesh. Vision then puts his palm to his face and pretends to blow you a kiss, while you play along and pretend to catch it and put it over your heart.

Once he leaves out the door, you lock it a return to the kitchen, and make your way to the calendar, chewing on your polished nails (if you don't want nail polish then skip that part) as you try to remember the symbolism of the heart. Not even a second later your thoughts get interrupted as a loud knock at the door startles you back to 'reality'.

Going to go see who it is, you push the door that separates the living room and the kitchen, closer to the knocking. You quickly open the door and see a woman with a dark plaid dress and a styled black hairdo holding a grey plant in a white pot.

"Oh hello, dear. I'm Agnes, your neighbor to the right. My right, not yours" She says in a sing-song tone as she uninvitedly makes her way into the house. The eruption of cackles echo as you look at her in confusion as to why she decided to step inside, but decided to keep a calm attitude and not say anything about it.

"Forgive me for not stopping by sooner to welcome you to the block. My mother-in-law was in town...so I wasn't!" she says laughing with the audience once more as her dress sways with her movements. She rushes the potted plant into your arms and you smile and take it as she makes her way into the living room to continue her snooping. "So what's your name? Where are you from? And most importantly how's your bridge game, hon?" She says not loosing a single breath, and of course not giving you time to answer in between questions.

"Umm...Well I'm (Male Name)" You say reaching your hand out to shake hers

"(Male Name)? Charmed!" She joyfully says and returns the gesture.

"Golly, you sure do settle fast! Yes sir you did indeed! Did you use a moving company?"

"Why I sure did. Those boxes don't move themselves." The audience laughs as your inside joke, because let's be honest, the boxes did move themselves since you used your magic to decorate everything. (Damn (Male Name), you really are a powerful sum' bitch)

'"So (Male Name), what's a single boy like you doing rattling around this big house?" She says siting on the couch.

You laugh to yourself and dreamily look at the finger your ring should be on that Vision gave you to claim you as his, (He liked it so he put a ring on it.....sorry...anyways) but paused as it wasn't there. That's not right, because you could have sworn that it was there when you created this rea-

"Oh no, I'm not single I-"

"Well I don't see a ring

"Well I can promise you, I am indeed married...To a man. A human one and tall too! A a matter of fact, he'll be home later tonight for a special occasion just the two of us." You say putting emphasis on 'occasion' with a wink.

"Oh is it somebody's birthday? A holiday?" Agnes questions bouncing up and down in the couch with her legs crossed like a 'proper lady'.

"Well, no and no"

"An anniversary then?"

"Ye-uhh...yes, Its our anniversary!" You shout, finally able to remember what that heart meant.

Agnes waves you over to come sit on the couch with her and you obey, sitting down she grabs and rests both sets of you two's clasped hands on your apron.

"Sooo...tell me, how many years" She asks letting out a little squeal.

"Well..uhhh..it...it uh feels like we've always been together"

"You lucky man-" She shakes her head remembering about her own husband "-the only way Ralph would remember our anniversary is if there was a beer names June 2nd." She chuckles as the audience laughs from nowhere again. "So what do you have planned?"

"How do you mean?" You questioned her. I mean you never really did have time to come up with anything since you just realized, or assumed, what today was.

"For your special night, (Male Name)! A young boy like yourself doesn't have to do much, but it's still fun to set the scene. Say-" she says standing up to slowly make her way to the door "-I was just reading a crackerjack magazine article called 'How To Treat Your Husband To Keep Your Husband', and let me tell you somethin'...what Ralph could really use is, 'How to Goose Your Wife So You Don't Loose Your Your Wife'. She kidd's as her and the audience laugh. You look at her and shake your head trying to hold back your own laughter. "Hang on, I'll go grab it and we can start planning. Oh, this is gonna be a gas!" She shouts running to the door so she can leave and run to her house.

-----Time Skip---

Both Agnes and you are back on the couch, looking through her magazines trying to find ideas for the anniversary dinner you planned for you and Vision to share, when out of nowhere, the phone started ringing interrupting you two. You got up and rushed over to it hoping you don't miss the unknown caller, you pick it up and put it to your ear and then start talking.

"Vision residence how may I help you"

"(Male Name), darling I-"

"Vision, my dearest husband. How are you sweetheart?" You say cutting him off from his obviously panicked and frantic voice. I mean come on, you are just excited to hear your husband's voice after a hours of him being gone.

"Listen about tonight-"

You cut him off again, already knowing that he was going to talk about the anniversary. "Don't worry, dear, I have everything under complete control"

"Oh, well, that is a relief. I must confess, I'm really rather nervous" He says over the phone.

"Nervous? Whatever for?" You question.

"Well, you know, darling, I still get a little tongue-tied."

The audience coo's and aww's at how a dust of grey creeps up on your (dark grey/grey) cheeks. "Vis, after all this time..." you giggle out.

"There's a lot riding on this (Male Name)! If tonight doesn't go just so, I think this could be the end.

'Wait what' you think to yourself

"Well, it's just one night. There's no need to get dramatic." You say in a worried tone as you grasp your now queasy stomach.

Vision's tone begins to get more serious as the conversation continues in his attempt to express how important this is to you. "Look, I think the best course of action is to impress the wife."

"Well, first, I think you mean husband. And secondly I also think the best course of action is to impress the other husband too." You look over and give Agnes a thumbs up and a wink in her direction, and she does the same while sipping her martini.

"Glad to know we're both on the same page, love. Until tonight, then, my sweet little husband" Vision says making two smooching noises through the phone to you.

"Until tonight...my robotic husband" You return, whispering the last part so Agnes doesn't hear you. She couldn't hear you anyways, being too busy sipping her drink and flipping through the pages. You finally gently put the phone on the hook and return to the couch.

---Time Skip, Later Tonight---

Before Vision made it home, you set the big dining table that was next to the living room and tossed colorless silk scarfs on all of the laps in the room to set the mood and made your way to the bedroom to get dressed to surprise him for when he gets home. When you heard the door open and heard his voice, you tip toed your way out of the bedroom and into the living room, dressed a long fluffy white lingerie robe with white fur that wrapped around the arms of it which was trailing behind you, exposing both of your (dark grey/grey) legs. You then went all the way to Vision's black silhouette and gently wrapped your hands around his eyes, causing him to jump form the sudden contact.

The audience laughed again as they know your mistake. 'Where the hell is that laughing coming from, and whey is it happening right now of all times?' you thought to yourself in confusion.

"Guess who~" you seductively whispered to your husbands.

Suddenly the lights turn on and you hear Vision's voice that was filled with a mix of shock, embarrassment, and irritation at your recklessness. "(MALE NAME) WHAT ARE YOU DOING!"

You gasp and look in his direction. "Vision? What are you-" then it hit's you, if Vision is right there, then who's-

"Oh! Oh my stars, I'm so sorry!" You say to the man you mistook for your husband. You quickly uncover his eyes and stumble away from him as he stares at you in shock. Then you look down at your attire and try to cover your exposed leg as much as possible.

"What is the meaning of this!" The bald headed mad says appalled, as his wife stands behind him looking around cluelessly.

Vision interrupts with his stammering voice just as confused as everyone else. "Well..uh yeah (Male Name) what is the meaning of-" Suddenly it hits him and he tries to comes up with an excuse off the top of his head. "-Oh, the meaning of it! You want to know the meaning of it...and...the meaning of it is...that this is the tradition of (Random Foreign Country/Continent) greeting of hospitality. Uhh...guess who???" Vision says as he runs behind you and overs your eyes.

"Oh is that my host being me?" You say playing along.

"It certainly is, darling. Lovely to make your acquaintance" Vision says vigorously shaking your hand. "See i forgot to tell you my husband is from (Random Foreign Country/Continent)" he giggles along with the audience.

"Oh, how exotic!" The man's wife cheerfully laughs.

"I never knew such a place as that existed" He says in a dark yet serious tone.

"Oh hush Author, have you no culture. Oh and the robe, I absolutely love it!" His wife replies trying to lighten up the awkward mood.

"Thank you so much ma'am-" you march through the living room and snatch off the silk scarves from all the lamps and tightly grab Vision's hand. "-Can I just see you in the kitchen for a moment, sweetheart?"

You both then slam your way through the kitchen door and it swings closed behind you, leaving Vision's boss and his wife behind as they sit down on the couch and patiently (more like impatiently on Arthur's end) wait for your return. You then turn around and look at each other before throwing questions.

"Who are those people?!"

"What are you wearing!?"

"Why are they here?"

"What are you wearing!?" Vision questions again boldly

"Well, it's out anniversary, that's why I'm wearing this!"

"Our anniversary of what?" Vison says, desperate to know what the hell you were talking about. Eventually you had enough of these shenanigan's and throw the scarves down at his feet stomping your way to the kitchen chairs. "Well if you don't know, I'm not going to tell you!" you exaggerate, crossing your arms and pouting like a child

"(Male Name), darling! That...that man through there is my boss Mr. Hart! And his dear lady wife Mrs. Hart! The heart on the calendar was an abbreviation!" Vision whispers, roughly tapping his hand on the black heart drawn on the dull colored calendar.

You grab your head and shake it trying to put everything together. "Vision sweetie, you move at the speed of sound and I can make a pen float through the air. Who. Needs. To. Abbreviate!?"

Vision grabs both of your shoulders in an attempt to collect his thoughts and calm you down. "Darling, listen, it's all romantic to do the candles, the music, that stunning outfit. I don't wanna be unappreciative, but right now-"

"Your boss and his wife are expecting a home-cooked meal. Correct?" Vision nods his head while muttering 'exactly' while look around the kitchen in order to find somethin to serve to the unwarned visitation of guests. After looking around for a but, your eyes land on the mini round table that held a plate and food on it. "Well, does your boss and his wife have a hunger for a single chocolate-covered strawberry, split three ways?" Vision hisses while clenching his fists and shaking his head no.

"Oh wait, I might have better ideas" Without hesitation you raise both of your sands and snap your fingers, magically changing your outfit to the one you were wearing earlier that day, a pair of dark high waisted cuffed slacks and a white blouse to match (you can change if you don't like), and the audience claps in astonishment at your transformation whilst you tie your apron in a bow behind your back. Vision gives you a quick peck on the cheek and runs back to the living room to keep others company while you figure out what to serve everyone.

---Time Skip---

After minutes of looking, you couldn't find anything in the kitchen, and the refrigerator was empty, so you decided to call your good neighbor Agnes to see if she could pick up some things from the store and bring it over. A couple of minutes pass and you finally hear a familiar knock on the back door in the kitchen. As soon as you open it Agnes rushes through with her hands full of groceries stacked to her chin as she stumbles through the kitchen. Before you could even mutter out a 'thank you' she stops you dead in your tracks and puts all the food down on the table. "Before you can say anything don't think about it. I mean, what kind of housewife would I be if I didn't have a gourmet meal for four just lying about the place. Not that Ralph wants to eat anything other than baked beans, which explains a lot about his personal appeal, mind you." The audience laughs one more at her silly humor as you quickly render to her aid to grab some of the groceries before they could fall. Unfortunately, it seems like the Universe was not on your side since the large cooking pot crashed and hit the ground, echoing throughout the kitchen, while Agnes yelled out an overexaggerated 'oh my'.

You had to get rid of Agnes and as quickly as you can, so you decided to just push her out the back door despite her protests to help you cook. "Thank you so much Agnes but I can take it from here-"

"Are you sure dear, many hands make light work. And many mouths make good gossip too!"

"Oh ahahaha, you are so naughty! But-"

"Oh, shall I preheat the oven then? hmm?"

"That won't be necessary, thank you for your time!"

Somehow she managed to escape your grasp on her waist and make her way back to the counter to crab some kitchen tools to start cooking for you. "Well, I know you're in a pinch so this menu can be done in a snap." She says snapping her fingers before continuing her rambling. you run back over to her and snatch the utensils from her, setting them on the counter, and grabbing her arms to march her back to the door. "Lobster Thermidor with mini-minced turnovers to start. Chicken à la King with twice-cooked new potatoes for your second course, and Steak Diane with mint jellies for your main. Oh wait! Do you set your own jellies, dear?"

"Yes Agnes I do, now can you please-"

"Ah there you go, good boy! Recipe cards are all on the counter there. Bon Appétit!"

"Haha, yes will do, thank you so much again Agnes! Bye now!" You say slamming the door, making the audience laugh at your exhausted expression. Now that she's gone, you run to the middle of the kitchen and throw your arms around, making all of the drawers and cabinets in the kitchen fly open, the dishes start floating out, and the food starts cooking. Out of no where the doors to the island bar swoop open to show Mrs. Hart, but before she could see Vision distracts her by breaking out and singing Yackety Yack by The Coasters, causing her to break out into a little dance, making her way back to the couch. Dear gods and goddess', how lucky are you to have a savior like him.

But little did you know, that the night was only just beginning.

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Finish the fic? Leave a like and comment if you enjoyed it. Also, give it a reblog too! Once again, I'm so sorry it was rushed! Please don't be afraid to let me know if there are any typos or errors. I will go back and edit this

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granolabird · 3 years ago

Text

The Weight of Reality

Post 2x08. Sorry guys, there isn’t really a way to fluff this one out. It’s gotta be angsty. Beth finds out about Rick being put in jail, and immidiately calls him. Needless to say, he’s not doing well. Written while listening to Giants by Imagine Dragons on loop bc that’s such a Rick-centric song.

Warings: One single F bomb. And a lot of sad teenagers. That is all.

Tags: @hournites @bethchapelsbonnet

If you’d like to be added to my weekly Hournite fic taglist feel free to ask :)

Beth is sitting at her desk doing research when she gets the call. It’s ten at night, and fireworks still light the sky outside her house. She’s always hated the fourth of July. Too much noise and partying. Beth was a fan of neither of those things. This fourth of July felt different though. It felt too quiet, what with all the Eclipso business. She was almost thankful for the bright colourful bursts of light outside her window, reassuring she was still in the real world. She was still here. Eclipso couldn’t get to her as long as she had the goggles on.

Her first instinct after the whole Eclipso business had been to phone Rick. He hadn’t responded, which was nothing out of the ordinary. She chalked it up to the bad service at his farm, as that was his usual excuse. When Beth called Courtney and she didn’t respond was when Beth began to worry. Courtney spent all her free time on her phone. She always answered. She was decidedly not answering. Then Beth tried Pat, who she only really called during emergencies, to the same result. She left them all messages of varying concern, telling them about how she really needed to talk, and she had more information on Eclipso. Perhaps the Whitmore-Dugan family were out having a fourth of July celebration. That made sense. That was the option Beth went with.

So that’s how Beth got here. Googling her life away, looking at shady PDF documents on possible origins of Eclipso, and on the original JSA. She didn’t have much but it was something to keep her brain occupied. She’s skimming an article about The Flash and everything that’s known about him when her phone rings.

It’s Pat.

She almost takes her goggles off before picking it up instinctively, but she corrects herself and leaves them on as she answers the phone. There's a moment of silence on the other side of the line before Pat speaks.

“Beth?”

“Pat! Thank goodness, I’ve been trying to get ahold of you-”

“Beth, I need to tell you something.” There’s a serious tone to his voice. It reminds Beth of the time the hospital called to tell her family that her grandfather was deathly ill. It’s a tone of voice laced with pity, and she hates it. After everything she’s dealt with tonight pity is the last thing she feels like dealing with.

“What’s wrong?”

She keeps her thoughts to herself, instead focusing on figuring out what Pat has to say. There’s more silence on the other end of the line. She can hear what sounds like Courtney crying in the background. She hears Pat take a steadying breath.

“Pat? What’s wrong? Is everything okay?”

“It’s Rick.”

Beth’s entire body drops. She feels it. She feels herself crumple. The feeling of dread she thought she’d destroyed when she fought off Eclipso returns instantly, making her feel sick. Rick.

Something’s happened to Rick.

“Is he…”

“He’s okay, Beth. But he’s in Jail.”

“What?”

“Eclipso got to him. Made him think Matt was Grundy. Rick attacked him, and almost killed him. The police took Rick in. Court and I are at the station now, we’re trying to get it figured out.”

“No.” She can barely hear herself speak.

“Beth I’m so sorry”

“What about the hourglass? Can’t he use that to break out of jail or something?” Beth is scrambling for an answer, a way to help Rick.

“You know he wouldn’t do that Beth, even if he could.”

“If he could?”

“He smashed the Hourglass.”

Beth doesn’t know when she started crying, hot tears flowing down her face. She finally got somewhere with her parents and now this. Now this.

“Beth? Are you okay?”

“Sorry. I’m sorry Pat I just… I need a minute to process.”

“It’s okay Beth. I can call you back later if you want. Then we can talk about what you wanted to tell us?”

Beth wants to say no, that she has to tell them about Eclipso and her immunity to him with the goggles right now but she can’t. She physically cannot. Every time she opens her mouth it feels like fire is creeping up from her lungs. She can barely breathe.

“Yeah.”

Is all she can force out.

She’s shaking as Pat hangs up, staring at her cracked phone screen. The photo of her and the rest of her friends smiling split by the nasty lightning-bolt shatters on the glass screen. Broken. She looks at Rick in the photo, his arm slung around her leisurely as he laughs at a joke Mike said before taking the picture. She wants nothing more than to be back with him at that moment. Things seemed so much easier then.

“I’m sorry Rick. I’m so sorry. I should’ve been there for you.” She murmurs, pressing her forehead to the top of her phone screen.

The phone, of course, provides no response.

She stares at the screen a while longer before she gets an idea, frantically searching up the number of the police station. She’s not sure it’ll work. She’s not well versed in the etiquette of phoning the police station to talk to a newly-arrested teen but it won’t hurt to try, right?

She hesitates for a moment, her finger hovering over the phone number. She takes a deep breath before she presses it, and then hits the call button.

Ringing

And then

“Blue Valley Police Department, how can I help you?” A deep male voice answers the phone.

“Hi! Sorry, I don’t know if this is the right number to call, or what I’m supposed to be doing here really.” She’s speaking quickly, words blending together in her panic. She takes another deep breath and then continues.

“You have someone I know in detainment? A Rick Tyler? Or maybe he’s under Rick Harris, but that’s not really his name.” She cringes at that statement, but the officer, whoever they are, should call Rick by his real name. He deserves at least that.

“Right. So why exactly are you calling?”

“Oh! Sorry, I’d like to talk to him if that’s possible? I know he’s just gotten there but I’m.. Well I’m his closest friend. I just really need to talk to him.”

“Listen kid, we already have people here trying to figure out what to do with him-”

“Pat and Courtney. They know me, they’d want me to talk to him too. Please. I really need to talk to him. Even if it’s only for a little while. Please.”

A deep sigh on the other end of the line.

“You’re lucky I have a soft spot for young romance. He’s in a detention cell right now. I’ll see what I can do.”

Beth’s mind catches on to the words young romance. She wants to correct the officer and tell her there is no romance, but she doesn’t. Because that would be a lie. There was something. A spark. One that may never turn into anything if Rick gets sent off to a juvenile detention centre somewhere halfway across the country.

“Thank you so much.” Beth breathes, realizing she hadn’t said anything in response.

The officer only grunts, and then she hears the sound of the phone being placed on the table, and footsteps walking away.

It seems like hours before she hears more footsteps, hurried, almost panicked. She hears a vague

“You have to be quick. I really shouldn’t be doing this.”

No response, only a swoosh of air as the phone is lifted up and then

“Beth?” Rick’s voice is shaking.

Beth has never heard him so genuinely scared. He sounds terrified, and so deeply sad. He sounds broken.

“Rick. Rick, I’m here, what happened?”

“Beth.” He repeats her name, and then she hears him sob.

It’s a guttural noise as he gasps for air, and Beth wishes she could reach through the line to hug him. She wants to be there with him more than anything.

“Rick, it'll be okay.”

“It won’t. I’ve fucked it all up Beth. We can’t fix this one.” He sounds so defeated.

“We can try. I’m not going to stop trying. This isn’t your fault. We’re going to get you out of this.” “This is my fault. This is entirely my fault. It was bound to happen one day, and now it did. Even Matt knew it, I was destined for the cells. That’s my future.” He’s not even listening to what she’s saying, just rambling to himself at this point.

“Rick-”

“You deserve better than me Beth. You, and the whole team. I’ve been nothing but a dead weight. You’ll be better off without me.”

“RICK.” Beth half-shouts into her phone, tears still burning molten streams down her cheeks.

She hears Rick inhale sharply on the other end of the line. He’s surprised. Good, at least that’ll get him out of his own mind.

“I’m not leaving you and that’s final. Nobody is. You may not think it, but we care about you. A lot. We’re going to get you out of this.”

Another sob on Rick’s end, and she can hear his heavy breathing as he tries, and fails, to regain his composure.

“I’m sorry. Beth, oh my god I'm so sorry.” She wishes Rick didn’t sound so terrified.

She wishes there was some way she could reverse time and be there to help him. To make everything better.

“It’s not your fault. It’s not. Eclipso made you do it. Please, please don’t blame yourself. Please don’t.” She’s pleading, trying to keep her voice from shaking.

“I… Beth I…” He’s at a loss for words.

She hears the deep voice of the Officer in the background. Shuffling. “I’ve gotta go Beth.” His voice is strained. “Ok. I’ll see you as soon as I can.” Beth offers, hoping it’ll provide him some reassurance.

“Right.”

A deep breath on his end, and then more shuffling and voices. “Beth I.. I lo… I…” He’s really trying to say something, his words choked as he struggles to spit them out.

Before he can finish his sentence there’s more footsteps and the phone clatters down. A few more seconds of shouts and shuffling before the line cuts out, and Beth is left alone again.

She’s almost certain she knows what he was going to say in that last sentence but she can’t bring herself to think too much about it. It’ll be something to talk about once they get Rick out. They have to get him out. With a sigh Beth returns to staring at her shattered phone screen, still crying. She stares at Rick’s smiling face, and tries to smile back at him. She just wants to be with him. She just wants it all to be okay. She’ll just have to keep telling herself it’ll all be okay. Then, maybe one day it will be.

It has to be.

#This hurt me to write #But it is what it is #Stargirl #Stargirl Spoilers #Hournite #Beth Chapel #Rick Tyler #beth x rick #hourman #dr. mid nite #pat dugan #Angst #Just a lot of angst

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katelynnwrites · 4 years ago

Text

pairing: Spencer Reid x f!Reader

warnings: pregnancy, nausea, mentions of mental illness, a tiny bit of swearing and angst

summary: Spencer knows that something is up with you but for the life of him he couldn’t figure it out. It should have been easier, a hell of a lot less complicated for you to just say something but it’s not.

word count: 1.531k

The One Where It’s Complicated || Part One of The One Where Series

You didn’t want to believe the first test, frantically taking another. And another. Till the boxes were empty and you were staring at the small positive signs reflected on each and everyone of them.

******

Spencer knew you well. He knew you better than anyone else. Every single one of your habits he knew like the lyrics of a favourite song. Like the words of a beloved book that he could never fail to forget especially with his eidetic memory. So when one day you suddenly switched from drinking coffee to tea, he noticed.

He didn’t say anything, wondering if it was just a one off thing but he watched you even closer after that.

He saw the way you looked more tired now, leaning against his shoulder and falling asleep during plane rides. Not that he minded, you just never used to do so as frequently.

There were bigger things too, him waking up one morning to find you not beside him but throwing up into the toilet. You had brushed off his concerns, claiming that you had simply eaten something off the night even though the both of you had the same food. Chinese takeout from the restaurant down the street as you had every Friday night ever since you moved in with him.

These worries occupied his thoughts for a week straight before he resolved to finally say something to you.

‘Y/n are you okay?’ He cautiously asks as you sort through the files on your desk.

‘Yeah Spence. I’m fine.’ You reply, giving him a light kiss on his cheek before hurriedly leaving the room.

Spencer knows that something is definitely wrong after that because of the forced smile on your face as you left. He didn’t know what it was but it bothered him. Still, he wanted to wait till you were ready to talk about it so he didn’t push.

******

After that you were even more careful. You knew that he knew something was wrong and that sooner or later he would ask again. And this time you weren't sure if you could keep the truth from him.

You got up earlier than he did, so that you could throw up in secret but the morning sickness was getting worse. So you began to avoid him a little hoping that by doing so he would find it harder to notice.

Unfortunately that was a mistake because if anything, that made it even more obvious to him.

******

You were distancing yourself from him now and Spencer wracks his brain wondering if he had done something wrong. It had been three weeks. Three weeks of your odd behaviour and he desperately wanted to know why. More than that, he needed to know if you were alright.

Looking over at where you sat next to your desk, filling in some paperwork, he bites his lip thinking hard.

Then you absentmindedly touch your stomach gently and everything clicks into place. You’re pregnant.

At first he feels nothing but joy and excitement until something else hits him. Why hadn’t you told him yet?

There was no possible way that you didn’t know yet. The throwing up which he now knew was morning sickness was a big giveaway. You had definitely missed your period by now and you were not drinking coffee. You had to know.

He’s more than a little embarrassed of the amount of time it took him to work it out. He’s a profiler for God’s sake. You had to be at least five weeks along to be showing symptoms such as fatigue and morning sickness and he wonders why you were keeping something so big from him for this long.

He’s turning over all the reasons you could possibly have for keeping it from him when you touch his arm lightly.

‘Spencer…’ He sees it then, the lingering sadness in your eyes and his heart cracks as he realizes why. You didn’t want to have kids with him.

He doesn’t blame you. Schizophrenia was genetic and could easily be passed on to your children. No one wanted a damaged child if they could help it.

‘Spencer I need to tell you something.’ You say, anxiety bubbling up within you.

‘Do you not want to have kids with me?’ He suddenly blurts out. He just couldn’t stop himself. He needed to know. Needed to know if he’d got his hopes up for nothing.

‘Spencer of course not!’ You’re appalled. How could you possibly not want to? You wanted nothing more than to have a family with him.

‘Then why didn’t you tell me?’ He’s glad that you’re the only two left in the office, the other members off the team had already left given the late hour.

‘W-what do you mean-’ Confusion is clearly etched all over your face.

‘I know you’re pregnant.’ He interrupts , stepping closer to you.

Your entire body tenses up and you softly ask, ‘How did you know?’

‘You’ve been throwing up. You don’t drink coffee anymore and you have been exhausted lately. These symptoms mean you’re at least five weeks along.’ Spencer states, shoving his hands into his pockets. He’s desperately attempting not to sound angry but he is a little. How could you not tell him this?

Your voice is so quiet but he hears it when you whisper, ‘Seven weeks. I’m seven weeks.’

‘Jesus fucking Christ Y/n.’ Spencer is trying so hard not to cry. How long had you been planning on keeping this to yourself? Were you ever going to tell him?

It seems that you’re unsuccessfully trying to do the same thing. Spencer softens, seeing your tears. As hurt by you as he was now, you were still the love of his life.

‘Y/n you know that I love you. So why didn’t you tell me? If it’s not because you’re afraid of our children having schizophrenia then why? Why?’ He rambles needing to understand.

‘I-’ You begin but he continues on, ‘I want to have a family with you. Please Y/n help me understand.’

You don’t hear what he says next, simply focused on his admission of wanting to have a family with you.

‘You want to have a family with me? Spencer, you want to have kids with me?’ You’re nervous, desperately hoping that you heard him right.

‘Why wouldn’t I?’ He’s staring at you, shock evident in his expression.

‘You were always so closed off about your mother’s condition. I thought you didn’t want children because you were afraid they’d have it too.’ You explain hesitantly.

‘I was terrified. Until I met you. You’re the only person I would ever want to raise a family with.’ Spencer tenderly brushes loose strands of hair off your face and you begin to sob.

‘I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Spence. I thought you didn’t want kids and I didn’t want you to feel forced to.’

He wraps his arms around your waist, peppering soft kisses onto the top of your head.

‘Shhh Y/n. There’s nothing more I would love than to have a family with you.’

You cry even harder at that, silently cursing your hormones. Spencer holds you even tighter against him, murmuring soothing words in your ear.

Eventually you calm down and he presses another kiss into your hair.

‘Babygirl I’m so sorry you felt that way. I’m sorry you thought you couldn’t tell me this, that you thought I wouldn’t want this. Because I do. I want all of this. I want all of this with you.’

You sniffle, looking up at him.

‘I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier Spence. I just-I was so-’

He cuts you off, squeezing your hand in his, ‘I understand.’

You let out a choked laugh and he can’t help but smile in relief. It’s the first time in a while that he’s heard the sound of your genuine laughter.

A comfortable silence settles in, the two of you remaining in the same position simply taking in the reassuring presence of the other.

‘Spencer?’

‘Y/n?’ He responds in kind and you giggle.

Taking his hand in yours, you slide it under your top and press it against your stomach. Right over your growing child.

‘I know it’s a bit late but it’s better late than never.’ You begin breathily. Your eyes are shining as his gaze meets yours.

Spencer’s eyes are welling with tears as he figures out where this is going.

‘Spencer Reid, you are going to be a father.’

Much more softly, you add, ‘You’re going to be an amazing dad.’

There’s not a trace of doubt in your words and Spencer feels like his heart is going to explode with sheer happiness.

His hands fly up to cup your face, pulling you into a gravity defying kiss.

It’s messy and doesn’t last long because the both of you can’t stop smiling but when you pull apart, a grin is tugging on the edge of his lips.

‘And you my dear Y/n, are going to be a wonderful mother.’

Your laughter rings out before it’s silenced when his lips meet yours once again.

series masterlist

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #dr spencer reid #spencer reid #series #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfics #may be triggering #katelynnwrites

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lokigayforhela · 4 years ago

Note

Hi how are you? I wanted to know what it would be like Hela telling the reader that she wants to have a baby with her?

W/C: 1401

TW: mention of pregnancy

A/N: Dearest reader, you know exactly where my heart is, and I thank you for giving me a prompt that let’s me think about Hela and reader having a baby together. Also, I NEVER write modern Hela x reader, so this was extra fun! I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.

A/N 2: ...what are our thoughts on making this a series with different pregnancy milestones?

You and Hela had been together for only a few years, but to you it felt like it had been forever.

You connected in a way that you knew not even everyone in love was lucky enough to connect with their partner, and every day that you got to spend with Hela, you cherished, and not a night went by that you didn’t thank the stars and moon above for bringing her into your life and letting you be the one that got to love her and hold her for the rest of all eternity.

You’d never had a wedding. Not like the fancy one you’d always imagined as a child, with a dress that rivaled a princess’, or a giant cake, or a bunch of your family and friends around. Instead, it had been a simple affair at the courthouse, with Hela’s brothers, and your family, and that had been enough for the both of you.

You’d been told that waking up next to the person that you loved would lose its charm over time, like a favorite song that just didn’t make your soul feel the way that it used to, but you didn’t think you could ever grow tired of waking up to find Hela watching you softly and playing with your hair, or curled around you like a cat craving the warmth of the sun, and this morning was certainly no different.

As you blinked your eyes open, waking yourself up a little more fully, you found Hela already watching you, brushing her fingers through your hair as she smiled softly upon realizing that you were awake.

“There she is… The anniversary girl…”

You gave a sleepy little giggle, and snuggled up as Hela pulled you closer. “It’s your anniversary, too, you know…”

“Is it? I had no idea,” Hela mused, earning a laugh from you as she pressed a kiss to your forehead and traced her fingers up and down your spine beneath your thin sleep shirt.

For a long while, you just stayed like that in silence, with your head tucked in the crook of her neck, and Hela pressing gentle kisses to your shoulder and temple and head, and anywhere else she could reach comfortably, until finally, she broke the silence, keeping her arms wrapped around you. As she spoke. “What do you want to do today to celebrate?”

You hummed softly, and withdrew yourself enough so that you could lay on your back, lips twisting to the side as you thought. “Mm… I don’t know. I thought maybe we could go out for dinner later. I made reservations at that nice Italian place you love so much.”

“That’s very sweet of you.” Hela leaned over to kiss your cheek, turning over on her side so that she could watch you as she threw an arm over your waist, just so she could keep touching you in some small way. “Lunch in bed, then? I’ll do all the work?”

You laughed softly. “Is it that late already?”

“Mmmmno. But I figured there’s no way we’re getting out of bed for at least another hour or two.” Hela had that mischievous little grin on her face that she only got when she was feeling in a particular mood, and you couldn’t help but to laugh in response.

“So bold, dear wife.”

“Well, one of us has to be,” she teased.

“Hey!”

But before you could argue any further, Hela started poking your sides gently, effectively cutting off any retort you might have made as you squirmed and laughed, writhing desperately in an attempt to try and escape the tickles.

It didn’t take long for Hela to give up on her crusade, instead opting to cup your face and kiss you sweetly, and you hummed softly as you returned the kiss just as gently, sighing softly in pure, happy bliss.

Time seemed to melt away, the longer you laid there, kissing and cuddling and laughing softly every time one of you had to separate long enough to breathe, and after a while, Hela drew back, expression a little more serious as she brushed the backs of her fingers down your cheek gently.

“…I’ve been thinking.”

“Oh, no. A divorce? On our anniversary?” You said it only to be funny, and Hela did laugh a bit, but she shook her head.

“Gods, no, not a divorce. I don’t think I could live if I didn’t get to have you by my side every single day.”

You smiled softly, and reached to hold her hand in yours, threading your fingers together and kissing her knuckles before looking back up at her. “…what, then?”

Hela was quiet for a moment, and you could tell she was gathering her thoughts and figuring out how to say what she wanted to say, and you let her take her time, watching her softly.

“…we’ve been together for some time now, and… we’re steady, and we have stable work, and money in a savings account.”

You nodded along, but couldn’t help but feel a little confused as to why Hela was bringing something like that up, but you remained silent, letting Hela continue her train of thought.

After a long moment of just looking at you, like she was looking for some sort of sign that she needed to continue, she smiled softly, squeezing your hand gently.

“…I want to have a baby with you.”

“….what?” You weren’t opposed to the idea, not by any means, and you couldn’t help the small little smile that crept up as you watched Hela gently, falling in love with how nervous and excited she managed to look all at once.

“I’ve seen the way you are, with Thor’s kids, and… and you’ve talked about what it might be like to have them before, and I know you want them, even if you’ve never said so in as many words. And I just…” She huffed out a shy little laugh, gaze going distant as she pictured the future. “I can’t stop thinking of getting to hold a tiny little girl that looks exactly like you, or… or a little boy that has your hair and your eyes, and your smile… I never thought of myself as the motherly type, but… I can’t express how much I want to do this with you.”

The longer Hela rambled, the more your heart absolutely melted, and by the time you finished speaking, you couldn’t tell if your eyes were watering because you were smiling so hard or because seeing Hela be so open and honest with you still made you so emotional, and all you could do was nod, laughing a bit.

“…okay.”

Hela smiled, as well, though she still looked a little worried that you were agreeing only to shut her up. “…okay?”

“Yeah, I mean… You’re right. I’ve wanted kids since I was a kid… I know my mom’s told you that story about how I told her an angel had visited me when I was four and told me I would have a daughter in the future. Though, I can't imagine she expected it would be like this.” You brought your hands up so that you could press a kiss to her knuckles again, smiling softly up at her. “Hela… nothing would make me happier than to have a baby with you. Maybe two, if we decide the first one isn’t enough. And I know the idea of childbirth isn’t thrilling to you, so I wouldn’t even be mad if I’m the one that has all of them.”

Hela only smiled, reaching a hand up to tuck your hair behind your ear before kissing you gently. “…we’ll have time to figure all of that out later, I promise. I just… I want to do this with you. I need to.”

The way she spoke so earnestly had your stomach turning flip-flops in the best way, and you just had to kiss her again, keeping your fingers laced through hers as you cuddled up.

“…I love you, so much. More than I’ve ever loved anyone. And I can’t wait to do this with you. Together.”

Hela smiled, and squeezed your hand, nuzzling her nose against yours as you both closed your eyes.

“Together.”

You hummed softly, content to stay close to Hela as you held each other. “…best anniversary gift ever.”

Hela only kissed you sweetly in response.

#Hela x reader #Hela Odinsdottir x reader #Hela #Hela Odinsdottir #Marvel #oneshot #anonymous #ask #answered #fluff #domestic fluff #thank you for the prompt!

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chaoticallysapphic · 4 years ago

Text

just a scratch

summary: You were always the hero, always the one protecting those around you. So who could be surprised by your honorable death?

a/n: I woke up this morning literally thinking "why not write a death fic," so here you guys go. Here's your Lin fic. I came up with this idea like two days into having this blog and it’s inspired by this art.

word count: 3k

When you were little your favorite books were those of heroes. Of great adventures and love so profound it would be talked about for centuries to come. The ones now collecting dust on the third to last shelf on your bookcase, the mahogany one situated between your desk and cedar bookcase, is where you place your favorites.

A recurring theme in them all is self-sacrifice. Loving someone sometimes requires that and you knew if the time ever came, you'd do it all for her. A life without her is not one you could live through, a world without her is dark and full of monsters and crime. Not only would you do it for your own selfish reasons but because she was so important to other people as well. The death of Lin Beifong is the day the heart of Republic City stops beating.

If you had to choose a way to go, it would be protecting those you love. And if Lin's life was on the line, then you knew it had to be you.

There are a million scares that have happened in the last few years, ever since Korra arrived the number of times you were jumping in front of her was too many to count. After the fourth, after you pushed her aside so Amon would take your bending, she'd all but screamed at you for hours while holding you, scared to let you go. Despite the emptiness seeming to fill you up like a ship sinking, it was worth it.

After you got it back Lin didn't let you out of her sight for weeks, suddenly you were trailing after her like a lost puppy. You understand her need to have you nearby and you didn't mind, who could mind the company of Lin?

One night sometime after the eighth time, Lin notices those books on the third to last shelf. She's read one or two and casually asks you how the others end. In your hands is a new one just as heartbreaking and morbid as the others. You don't realize the dots connecting for her whilst you happily ramble on about them, mentioning how you read your first one in the library at the age of seven.

“I mean it's what you do for love and it's so-”

“No you stay alive for love so you can live out the rest of your life with them,” her voice is firm as she grips one of those favorites of yours. You frown, slowly closing the one you're currently reading.

“Well it's not like you'd just do it for anything, it's to protect the one you love.”

Over the next few years, Lin's heart almost stops a million times as you keep protecting her. She tries to get you to stay in Republic City when she goes off to protect Korra but your stubbornness somehow beats Lin's.

That break-in at Zaofu solidifies it for you. Lin slips off with Suyin, so they can propel from the ceiling to save Korra. She makes sure you're distracted before sneakily racing off. When you turn around to check on Lin she's gone. She's gone and as you whip your head around to look for her there isn't a trace of where she went.

You know you're being selfish, that you should push this panic and fear down to help save Korra but you can't. You need to know where she is, people are yelling at you as you continuously turn, hoping to spot her. You don't notice how the combustion bender has turned to you. Your vision is blurring, you need to find her, and little do you know she's watching from above with her heart in her throat as P'li smirks before taking aim.

The sound her bending makes has you whipping around. Your eyes widen at the bolt of fire shooting towards you, frozen in place. This is not how you want to go down, you’ve had an unhealthy obsession with how you’d leave this world from a young age and this was not it. In the last second before your life ends two arms wrap around your waist as a body slams into you. You fall to the floor with a loud thud and a pained moan as your head smacks against the concrete. The bolt of fire whizzes past the two of you as it burns through a bush.

The woman above you isn’t Lin. It’s some guard with black hair and a mole under her eye and you can only half make out what she's saying, partially due to the concussion you now suffer from but also from the icy fear that has encased you. Little do either of you know that by Kuvira saving you, your fate has been placed in her hands for another day.

She’s asking if you're okay, by now Lin has saved Korra and the intruders have vanished. She knows your importance to the Beifong family. Kuvira helps pull you up into a sitting position, she watches you wince from the pain, your eyes squeezed shut. There’s a small spot of blood on the ground, and so she checks behind your head and finds a small cut.

Lin has given Korra to Suyin, bolting to where she sees you hunched over while Kuvira cleans the cut for you. You don’t hear or notice her coming, the only indication is when her arms slip around you as she pulls you against her body so tight it feels like the air is being squeezed out of you.

“What the fuck was that?” She chokes out between sobs. You slowly wrap your arms around your lover as you suddenly begin to feel tired.

“I couldn’t find you.”

After Zaheer when your life quiets down just a smidgen, Lin proposes. She found the ring at a jewelry store in Zaofu the day after you almost died and knew. You become a blubbering mess, it’s entirely unattractive as there’s snot mixing with tears but you rapidly nod as you choke out “yes.”

A year later you get married and the day is nothing short of a fairy tale. Everything is perfect as you sway to the song with your wife's arms wrapped around your waist. Everyone watches as you both lovingly stare into each other's eyes. Lin thinks that it’ll be calmer now and you’ll be safe. You're her wife and you love her and you're safe.

You think back on that day often with a fond smile, the cake you smeared across her face and the scowl she sported directly after. How she then cupped your cheeks in her hands, so she could rub the cake off onto you. There are two photo albums worth of photographs from that day and in almost every single one you both stare at each other in this way that feels so intimate. If a stranger took a look they’d be able to tell just how much you loved one another.

Lin’s been given her happily ever after, those two years that follow are blissful. You open up a bookstore near your apartment, and she forces herself to come home at a reasonable time every night, so she can enjoy your company before you head off to bed. You settle into a routine that neither of you mind, all Lin cares about is that you're safe and you're happy.

Some people (like Suyin) say it’s almost sickening how much you two love each other but Lin just thinks that’s because she's jealous of not having this kind of heartwarming, never-ending love. Everyone knows her marriage has dulled into one of convenience, and she’s never almost lost the love of her life as Lin has. It makes you cherish every moment in case it’s your last.

That peace breaks when Kuvira comes to Republic City, her change in demeanor is shocking and her inability to hand over the Earth Kingdom saddens you. She saved your life and the woman in front of you is not the same one who pushed you out of the way all those years ago. Something in her eyes has twisted, she’s become jaded over time and you seem to be the only one who holds out hope. Even Suyin gives up on her.

When Toph meets you she's nothing short of surprised. “Hi, I’m your daughter's wife, Y/n.” In the background, Bolin can see Lin rolling her eyes as she begins to walk away. You guys are on a mission, and she really doesn’t want you to make nice with her mother.

But you do because you're you and when Lin snaps while everyone is quietly eating their flameo noodles you softly calm her down. Still, you look over your shoulder at the first metal bender and say “you may have raised the love of my life but you’ve done nothing for her since the day you left Republic City. If she doesn’t want to forgive you for abandoning her then that’s perfectly fine by me.”

Your words remind Lin of the first time you met, how she was floored by your ability to bite back despite your otherwise quiet demeanor. You’d been this shy woman who bumped into her on your way out of a bookstore and when she went to scold you for not paying attention you stopped her in her tracks with one look alone. It may seem childish and stupid, cringe-worthy even, but she knew she had to marry you one day just with that look.

The next morning you save the Beifongs along with Zhu Li, you can’t help but watch Kuvira twist around as she continues to try and take Suyin down. If you go up there, will she do the same? She probably doesn’t remember you but as your savior, you remember her. Lin pulls you onto Juicy and wraps her arms around you, she thought the action was over, that her fear of losing you would lessen but it’s back in full force.

She tries to make you evacuate with the rest of Republic City and that stubbornness she loves rears its head as you put your foot down, claiming that you go wherever she does.

It’s all a blur really, there’s so much to do and such little time as you all try and try again to take her down when finally a reprieve comes in the form of Hiroshi’s sacrifice. Inside you stick with the Beifong sisters as you all work to destroy the weapon whilst Korra tries to distract Kuvira.

It’s a split second filled with too much to process. One second you succeed and destroy the ammunition and then the arm in which you're all in is being flung across the city. You push Lin and Suyin towards the wall, your wife bends metal around the two of them and tries to do the same for you but it’s flimsy as you're so far away and everything is moving so fast. The force of impact successfully knocks you out.

When you come to there're three things you notice.

Number one: You are so cold and yet you can feel sweat beading down your forehead.

Number Two: The metal wrapped around you is gone, it must have broken off from the impact.

Number three: It feels like you can’t breathe, there’s something inside you and when you try to move a pained scream scraps up your throat, it sounds gurgled and wet as something warm drips from your lips.

When you finally manage to open your eyes you notice that you aren’t in the arm anymore, with your blurry vision you can make out the faint shape of it against a broken building. There’s so much distorted noise around you. You can faintly make out your name being shouted and when you try to speak nothing comes out.

You make a mistake in your painful haze, you try to move. It’s then you finally look down as another scream rips out of you, this one slightly quieter, and notice the steel rod sticking out of the upper half of your stomach. You know it’s stupid but the only thing you can manage to think of is ‘that’s not meant to be there.’

Lifting your arm up you try to find a source of water, maybe you can heal what's around you as you slowly pull yourself off, but your call goes unanswered. Your arm gives out and falls onto the jagged pieces of concrete that cut into your skin but your brain is too focused on the pain in your stomach.

Where is she? Is she okay? Will this pain have been worth it? You don’t know, you're alone and you know what’s about to happen and you're alone. In all the visions you had of saving her, the last thing you saw was her. But now it’s the dilapidated storefront that must have been broken in the collision as you lay where a wall once used to stand. The ceiling is moldy and only half of it is still intact. You don’t even get to see the sun at the end.

Just as you're about to close your eyes to try and think of happy memories to go out on, you faintly hear someone say in a voice full of sorrow and desperation “No… No, no, no!”

This site right here is Lin’s worst nightmares all wrapped into one. There’s so much blood pooling underneath you as it drips down the broken concrete of the building. You're pale, so pale she thinks you almost look like a ghost and blood drips from your mouth.

She surges forward and falls to her knees, the bricks and rocks cut into her pants as pain sears through her legs, but she doesn’t care nor notice. All she notices is how your eyes are closed and how you're shivering in the middle of summer. Two warm hands cup your cheek, bringing you out of your pleasant memory of your wedding day as you open your eyes. A pair of bright green eyes stare down at you, she looks so scared.

“Lin…” You wheeze out. She shakes her head as she begins to sob. You feel so tired, so weak and if you had the energy it’d anger you but you can’t find it in you to care anymore. She’s here and you can see her eyes, her beautiful face and you know that what you’ve just done to protect her and Suyin was worth it. If not for you pushing her out of the way she would have fallen out of the arm and you’d be the to find her amongst the rubble.

“No you're fine, we’re gonna get you a heal- Korra can heal you it’s fi-” she’s stumbling over her words as she tries to wipe the blood off your face, it just smears the red liquid down your cheek and onto your neck. You shake your head.

“I love you…”

“Stop it, don’t say that you’ll be fine. You are going to live.”

“Please say it back…” You know you won’t live, no one will find you in time and you’ve lost too much blood. It’ll happen any second now and you want to hear it one more time.

“I’m not ready for this… You’re meant to grow old with me…” She sobs out. “You’re meant to live.”

“Please Lin…” you stop as you cough up more blood. It’s close. “I’m scared, please jus-”

“I love you, I-” she gently rests her forehead against your own, your skin is like ice now, “love you.” Lin feels so warm and comforting, you want to lean forward to wrap yourself around her but you can’t.

Tragedy struck within a matter of seconds. Life deemed her unworthy of a happy ending.

The shivering that let her know you were still there stops. She’s too scared to open her eyes afraid of what she might find. Maybe if she keeps them closed you’ll come back. You were like a cat with nine lives and surely you had one left. She doesn’t know how long she sits there leaning over your lifeless body with her hands cradling your face and forehead against your own, her back begins to hurt from the position, but she does not move an inch.

Everyone is looking for the two of you. They’ve won, victory is finally theirs and everyone can rest easy now with the great uniter being dragged by Suyin and Korra. Lin left the second the blast had cleared, screw victory all she cared about was you and Suyin was worried by the quietness of the streets, by the fact that neither of you came stumbling out of an alley with your hands all over each other as relief radiates from you.

It’s eerily silent as they turn down that fateful street Suyin and Lin woke up in, and she spots something out of the corner of her eye. A broken storefront that was slightly concealed by a large chunk of concrete. She sees the black of Lin’s suit and hears the faint whisper of someone murmuring something.

Tossing the injured Kuvira towards Korra to fully support her, she races over to her sister. Everyone stops as they see what's transpiring. No one says a thing, breath being held as they make out Lin leaning over something. Even Kuvira watches because what else is there for her to do?

Suyin stops a few feet behind her sister, her shoulders dropping when she sees a sight so tragic, so heartbreaking that even she begins to sob. Lin is too focused on you, she doesn’t even realize that she’s repeating something like a mantra, like some kind of prayer that will go unanswered.

“You're going to be okay.” It’s all Lin can say, eyes still squeezed shut. Hesitantly, Suyin takes a step as she tries to stifle her cries.

“Lin?...”

She stills at her sister's voice, those same four words dying in her throat. Suyin braves another step and then one more before placing her hand on her sister's shoulder. She can see the blood now and there’s so much of it. It reminds her of the rushing river right outside of Zaofu. Lin tenses at the touch.

“She’s fine.” Lin spits out and spirits it is such a useless lie. “She’s going to be fine.” Suyin grips her shoulder and pulls, in that moment of panic at being ripped from you her eyes finally open. You're so limp and without her hands to hold you, your face lulls to the side. Suyin finally spots the cause of your death with the detachment of Lin. Nothing could have saved you from that, not even if they found you immediately. Only spirit water could have fixed that and it’s too far away.

“Lin…” Suyin starts as she continues to pull her away. Fear grips her so tightly she can’t control herself as she whips around to push her away. Her younger sister catches her arms before she can try to bend her away and Lin struggles to break free. Everyone sees you now.

“Get off of me!” She screams, her voice cuts through the air like a knife and neither of the sisters notices the display of grief behind them as every person who knows you understands the gravity of the situation. You were like a second mother to Korra, you made sure Mako was fed and healthy during his brief time staying at the station. When Bolin doubted his bending in Zaofu you cheered him on.

You were everyone's ray of sunshine. No one knows what to do when the sun finally goes out.

“She’s fine!” Suyin just nods as she pulls Lin into a tight hug. The chief wails as she finally begins to realize that you aren’t fine, that you won’t wake up. It settles into her bones and drags her down until she’s collapsing. Suyin struggles to hold her sister as she gently kneels for them.

In her defeated, injured state, Kuvira remembers you. She remembers cleaning up the bit of blood from the back of your head, and she thinks ‘that’s too much for me to clean.’ The great uniter remembers the sob that left Lin when she barreled into you. The sound of her voice as she choked out “What the fuck was that?”

Lin can’t breathe, she feels her heart die with you as she wails into her sisters shoulder. The icy cold grips of grief latch onto her like a parasite and make itself a nest inside her now empty chest cavity.

That day victory is not what anyone on that street feels. The sunshine has vanished from this world and replaced it with darkness that’ll loom over everyone’s life for the rest of time.

That day is the day Lin Beifong truly dies.

#lin beifong #lin beifong x reader #lin beifong/reader #lin beifong fanfic #lok fanfic #legend of korra #yo one of you guys asked when i was gonna write more for lin #here you guy #ask and ye shall receive

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