#I could write a whole essay and why this show is incredible

[xxowlet-with-dragons]

Happy 4 years to my favourite show! 😊❤️

[veryferaldistributions]

Why Gene Belcher is written Profoundly Well

God, I could write a whole essay about how amazingly Bob’s Burgers tackles queer characters, but let’s focus on one queer character for now: Gene Belcher

One of the biggest things I’ve noticed about Bob’s Burgers since I’ve started watching again is how, as a queer character, Gene is written amazingly well. He may be gay, he may be trans, he may be nonbinary, but this kid is not straight. (There are 30-min video compilations to prove this.)

And I am incredibly comfortable with the ambiguity that this show holds for that. I love it. He could never be revealed to be anything, and he’s still a complete and awesome character.

It allows the writers to let Gene just explore who he is, who he might want to be, without that being (too much) the butt of the joke. What’s more is I love how Linda and Bob are written as Gene’s parents. They clearly know who their kid is and what to expect from his behavior, attitudes, and wardrobe choices.

One of my favorite Linda moments has to be when Gene has the flu, and he’s stuck in the bathroom. When we see him, he has blue eyeshadow on, and Linda casually says “Ooh, love the eyeshadow!” It may be small, but oh I loved that line.

I love that this fictional child is being nurtured to love himself, not just by his parents, but by his siblings as well.

“Time to focus on your good daughter! Gene!”

“I’m pretty!”

Not only does Gene exemplify a queer kid just being a kid, but it shows Bob and Linda as being great examples in parenting on all fronts, but mostly just by letting Gene be himself.

(And that’s not even mentioning Tina’s tendency towards polyamory…)

[multiverseworm]

If Batfamily members were part of the Avatar (The Last Airbender) universe. Which element would each be able to bend?

It’s probably been done before by other creators, but I will write each one of my headcanons and why I think they’d bend that element. You’re free to think otherwise about these.

Water: as Uncle Iroh explained to Zuko, water is the element of change. The people of the water tribes are capable to adapting to many things. They have a sense of community and love that holds them together through anything.

•Dick - had to evolve many times in order to fit, whether from an orphan to a billionaire, a sidekick to forming his own team (the titans), or even moving cities altogether and becoming his own hero.

•Bruce - the original evolving character. He had to adapt from having loving parents to being an orphan. From being a one man show to having sidekicks and a whole team formed of superheroes. Whether he realizes it or not. He’s build a community around him to help the people that are part of it, feel loved and understood.

Earth: Earth is the element of substance. The people from the earth kingdom are diverse and strong. They are persisting and enduring.

•Cass - to begin and try to explain how enduring Cass is would be a whole essay on its own. She was raised from the minute she was born to be a living weapon. Endured years of abuse towards that goal. And much like Toph, she concentrates, analyses and concludes before she attack.

•Jason - I know Jason could arguably be added as part of the fire element as well. But he’s been one of the Batfamily members that has had to endure a lot. His parents abused and neglected him, he never adapted to Bruce’s moral code, he was killed by the joker and brought back only to be another soldier for the League. He is strong in more ways than just physical strength and has never stopped persisting about what his beliefs are, even if that has created a breach with his family at times.

Fire: Fire is the element of power. The people of the fire nation have desire and will and the energy and drive to achieve what they want.

•Damian - a lot like Zuko, Damian’s drive and will was at first conducted by anger, superiority and desire for power. But the more he has immersed himself in achieving his own goals, and not the ones that were imposed to him by other people, he has been one of the most strong willed and powerful members of the Batfamily.

•Kate - Since childhood, Kate has been someone that felt she lacked power over her own life. The kidnapping, the loss of her mother and sister, her expulsion from the military, and overall control of her destiny. But this hasn’t stopped her from achieving what she wants. The will she has is enormous.

Air: Air is the element of freedom. The Air nomads detached themselves from worldly concerns and found peace and freedom. Also, the apparently had pretty good senses of humour.

•Steph - having to detach yourself from your own blood is something incredibly difficult. But Stephanie proved this can be done in order to achieve freedom when she took the mantle of spoiler and helped Robin and Batman take down her own father. She forged her own path.

•Alfred - One of the greatest characteristics from air nomads is their ability to remain peaceful. With every single thing the bat kids have put him through, he remains one of the more sarcastic and empathetic members of the family, and also a true guide for each of them.

Non-benders: Having no bending abilities has never been an impediment for the people of the four nations. We’ve seen them being great combatants, logical thinkers and overall, people that had earned their place amongst the people that seem to be ‘most powerful’.

The following three are listed as non-benders is mainly the result of their efforts to prove themselves in order to be a part of the Batfamily.

•Tim - His own strength has always proven to be his intellect. No combat, threats or anything physical at all was needed in order for him to use his mind to act as the greatest detective of this family and find out Batman’s identity. His brain has proven more useful than any violent action. He earned his spot inside the family.

•Barbara - Much like Tim, Barbara proved her own way into the family. She started out as a potential casualty in Batman’s book, but she quickly proved herself to the family. Even after being incapacitated to deal with criminals hand to hand, her logical thinking has helped the family perhaps even more with her role as Oracle.

•Duke - after losing his parent’s sanity at the hands of the joker, Duke also proved himself with the ‘we are Robin’ movement. He couldn’t care less about how powerful anyone else was, because he knew that what the movement represented was far more important than walking amongst heroes.

*All of the above could arguably be moved from one element to the other, but this is my personal headcanon.

[gadriezmannsgirl]

Nothing's Going On -P.G

Warnings: A bit of mature content, nothing too explicit (IT'S SAFE FOR EVERYONE TO READ)

Summary: Your boyfriend catches you reading fan fictions of him and teases you about it

It had all started as a joke. You knew your boyfriend's fangirls wrote some fictions about him (You knew because you also read in your 1D times, Niall Horan's and Louis Tomlinson's fanfic, you could imagine). One day, you were chilling around watching IG when you stumbled with a reel

It had said *POV: Imagine your boyfriend Gavi braging to his mates about you* and there was this video of him talking with Pedri, Balde and Ansu while the author of this edit, edited what they were saying with subtitles underneath.

You awed, it was cute.

Have you heard that saying curiosity killed the cat? Well, that was you at your best moment.

You went in your laptop and opened Google, by the tags on that video you decided to put in the browser *Pablo Gavi x Reader*. Tumblr inmediately appeared with a hundreds of blogs.

You created an account x and started reading.

You gotta admit, these girls had their imagination on the highest level, inventing these amazing stories, backgrounds, edit along with everything else... And you couldn't even know how to start a simple essay

You laughed at some stories, you fell in love with the majority, you felt lust while reading others, hell you even cried with the heartbreaking ones, or what they liked to call Angst. You even found a PEDRI X READER X GAVI POLY

"These girls are crazy in the greatest way ever" You murmured shaking your head

Being on your world, you didn't noticed when your boyfriend came home from his training and was crunched down behind you

"What are you reading?" You heard his voice ask right next to your ear as you yelled out scared

"WHAT THE FUCKING HELL-? PABLO!" You shut your laptop down as your hand went to your chest "YOU ALMOST GAVE ME AN ATTACK"

"You're reading fictions about me?" He asked with a smile as you looked at him dead in the eye

"...No" Your doubting tone made him laugh a little

"Why are you doing that?"

"OK, I WAS READING FANFICTIONS ABOUT YOU! IN MY DEFENSE... Your fans are really skilled and lots of them like our relationship" You nod

"Is that it?" He asked laughing

"Ok, an edit appeared in my IG feed so I saw it and curiosity got the best of me. I have spent the whole afternoon reading these things, they're fucking amazing and absolutely gorgeous. There are some other that are way to explicit but still they were sent by God because Gavs... They're incredible. And the angsty ones? OMG...! They are a blessing and- hijo de tu mamá, ¿Te estás burlando de mi?" (Son of your mother, are you laughing at me?)

"You know you've the real Gavi one and that you get to experience the fluff, a few fights and the sex, all of that in reality?"

"I do! But they're amazing" You opened your laptop and showed him another fic. This one was fluff and smutty

After some minutes reading it you were the first one to talk

"See?! It's so well written and the structure, their beggining, the middle and the end it's so precious... Some of these would do great as real writers; don't you think so, baby?"

You turned around facing Gavi who's expression was unreadable "Love?"

"You're right they're pretty amazing" He nods "On the other hand, way too explicit, it feels a little uncomfortable reading all those things about myself and at the same time boosts my ego up" You roll your eyes "Good side of this is that, I can try and do all these things they write, to you" You clenched your tights feeling hot all over your body

"Now?"

"Now" He said as you both jumped off of the couch into your shared bedroom. Laptop and fanfictions long forgotten

Yes, it may have been a bit embarrassing for you the fact your boyfriend saw you reading fanfiction of him, but it was definitely worth it.

°°° °°° °°° °°°

Tag list: @gaviypedrisbride

[ravenclod]

DISC: this 'essay' is NOT hating on madohomu, or hating on people for shipping them. nor is it hating on Homura, or implying that her actions should be changed. It is simply an opinion from someone who loves Homura's character who also ships Madohomu, and just wants to rant about things i feel are ignored by the fandom. Please read the full thing before reblogging or replying with your opinions so i dont need to repeat myself.

Maybe I'm just a hater, but I don't understand how people can look at Homura and just excuse everything she’s done, especially in regards to Madoka, because she "actually loved everyone!” and "Is traumatised" and "It’s just toxic yuri!". It feels like a complete ignorance of her character and disregards the complexity and depth of her writing.

Now, obviously, I don't mean when people make jokes about it, I get that, but it’s when people genuinely don't acknowledge how madohomu is unhealthy and homura is a bad person. That is quite literally the whole point.

I'm aware that she does care about the other girls, which is why she didn't try to kill Mami in rebellion, and just acted like the others didn't matter throughout the show because she was all out of hope and had to concentrate on the one thing keeping her sane, which was Madoka. But that is exactly my point. That obsessiveness, that reliance on one singular person [ who is also largely unaware of the reason for said reliance ] is incredibly unhealthy. It is unhealthy. It is toxic. I'm not saying homura is abusive, like some people have, because she absolutely is not, but she is obsessive to the point of being unable to see madoka in a negative way. Even when she criticises her it’s from a "you're so stupid you can’t tell that people love you/you’re so stupid for doing this you're gonna get hurt" point of view, rather than the view of "oh you are genuinely naïve and mess up like everyone". [1] This in turn harms both of them, as she is putting her on a pedestal which Madoka will feel guilty for being on and worry about upholding, and it ruins Homura as she will simply spiral further into this unhealthy mindset.

She takes her [ Madoka’s ] word to the extreme, the word of which has no form of context and is speaking from the equivalent of the naïve Madoka that we see in the first episode. Homura then uses that to justify what she goes on to do during Rebellion, which in turn harms Madoka. when she rips Madoka from herself, I understand it's to avoid the incubators getting to her, and it is very in character, but she still actively harmed Madoka, and went against her wish to save all magical girls [ from becoming witches ] at least, in part.

Her obsessiveness does then leech off and affect everyone else, because she is also friends with them and does care for them. They begin to lose respect and gain upset over Homura, as she is now a girl who has one goal and throws them to the side to achieve this, not attempting to make genuine connections and discarding those which she does have - namely Kyoko in the show. This behaviour affects the other girls in the obvious sense of they die quicker and more frequently as Homura is no longer attempting to intervene; affecting Madoka too, as she ends up getting stressed about her friends not getting along, before then having the trauma of seeing her friends die. [ This is not to put the blame on Homura as it happens regardless, but the point is for everyone else, it will seem like Homura could have helped, even if it was out-with her power.] This will harm Homura as a result, for it will plague her how she treats her friends like this, and will only cause her self-esteem to plummet further than it already has.

Additionally, there are points where she could be argued to be manipulative, which is up to personal judgement, but it is worth noting. Obviously, it would not be from her own awareness or intention, but it is still a plausible outcome of her actions - i.e., the way she speaks to Madoka in the show, almost threatening her before then sobbing over her and acting like she is the most important girl in the world, [2] which, keep in mind, will be weird for Madoka as she barely knows this girl. This isn't to say Homura's actions aren’t understandable, especially in the show, but that doesn't remove the negative impact that they have. Homumado may be cute, and it is cute, especially pre-timeloop, but the reality is, even now, it wouldn't work without years and years of couple therapy.

I also am going to mention kyosaya, as they are also unhealthy, and I know someone may try to bring up how I love them so much in spite of this fact. They are definitely not the most healthy relationship, literally trying to kill each other in a fight in the first episode they met. It is practically impossible to ship characters in this show and have a healthy relationship [ with maybe the exception of madosaya pre-timelooping ]. However, the difference between kyosaya and madohomu is my general issue altogether, which isn't that the ships are unhealthy, but rather the way the fandom treats them in regards to them being such.

Kyosaya is known for being enemies to lovers, its known for being unhealthy and its known for being liked in the theory of "oh this is what they could have been, had they been given more time to understand each other.". It is also an equal relationship, there are no forms of power dynamic between the two, both are equally vulnerable; both hate the other at the start, and respect and care for one another at the end - as seen in rebellion. Even when Kyoko is stronger than Sayaka, that's cancelled out by Sayaka's determination and healing properties.

Homumado, on the other hand, are known for being equally doomed, but in the sense of "Oh Homura will never save Madoka, Madoka will always die, they can never be together.". There is never that acknowledgement that they wouldn't work, even if by some miracle the looping ended. There is simply too much that has happened. The only possible scenario is arguably one in which Madoka stays as Madokami, and Homura stays as the devil, for at least both have equal memories of all that has transpired, but even that has huge issues due to Homura's abandonment issues and obsessiveness toward madoka. There is also, unlike in kyosaya, a large power imbalance, which goes both ways at different points.

In the main show, this is heavy on Homura, as she knows so much about Madoka, she's seen her at her best and worst, and she knows all that will happen. She is also stronger than her, as for the most part Madoka is not a magical girl, and is unable to do anything to prevent her friends’.

Flip that to when Madoka is god however, and she is now the topheavy one, as she is fully aware of everything that has transpired. and Homura is so obsessive. If madoka were anyone else, it could very quickly turn bad with Madoka manipulating Homura's infatuation - which obviously isn't an issue as madoka is so nice, but you get my point.

It is a point though that homura still has power over madoka, especially considering her removal of "Madoka" from "Madokami". She technically has a part madoka all for herself, and has relative power over that for the time being. No one is able to do anything. It’s almost like she’s controlling a doll, except the doll is a piece of madoka she’s refusing to let return to the rest of her.

This is what I mean when I say there is no form of permanent equity between the two, while kyosaya are a yin and yang of give and take, madohomu are simply always off balance. Which is why they're so unhealthy.

Again, that doesn't mean they're not a good ship. That doesn't mean they're not cute, and they don't deserve to be together. It could 10000% work out, just as kyosaya is also toxic but could still work out. My issue isn't with the ship, the writing, or the characters, but rather the disregard to the discussions surrounding it.

To paint Homura as a "cute girl who's a bit obsessed” is a disservice to the complexities of her actions and her humanity, as again, she is a heavily traumatised 14 year old girl. Her actions are realistic, her actions make sense. But her actions aren’t good. This is not a critique on Homura, but a critique of the denial that she has done these bad things. denying as such waters her down and mischaracterizes her. It defeats the point of her as a character.

After all, she is the devil. She’s not intended to be nice.

[1] - "How stupid can you possibly be" - episode 5

[2] - fountain scene, episode 8, where she breaks down in front of madoka

[fandomsoda]

So… we’ve come this far, huh?

Today is officially the one year anniversary of my time on Tumblr, and the one year anniversary of my friendship with the lovely person who is @/dinosaurzzz (the slug cat on the right is its sona!).

It is honestly incomprehensible to me that it has been a full year since I got on this site and honestly it has completely changed my life. I have grown more as a person in this year than I believe I ever have in my whole prior life combined. I have found a community where I am loved, where I am safe, and where I am given the space to learn and grow from my mistakes, and that is completely fucking invaluable to me. And I will forever thank Dino for being the final thing to push me to finally get on this site that I already figured would be perfect for me. It has been such a wild ride, and even if Tumblr has muffled the reach of my posts at the moment, I am going to scream this one from the rooftops, and try to show appreciation for everyone who has helped me along this journey.

First of all shout out to my incredible partner @wishtale-blogs, she is the love and light of my life and she truly understands me and has my back. I never, ever thought that I would meet someone who both gets me completely and contrasts me perfectly and having her in my life is something I would never trade absolutely anything for. When you’re young it seems like destiny for partnerships to fall apart simply by nature of it being so early in life, but I genuinely feel as if this is unshakable, and I’m just.. so happy to have her.

And with that I’d next like to shout out our adoptive sons, @karineverse and @the-selfmade-gods. Both of you are absolute angels, lights of my life and people that I would protect with my life. Thank you so much for being here for me and being here for all of your friends and staying strong through all you’ve been through. I’m proud of you, truly I am so proud of you and I love you as if you were my own flesh and blood.

Now, I am going to list out every single person I can think of whom I consider a friend. There will not be elaboration here as this post will be long enough as-is, but just know that I could write a blurb for each of you for why I adore you so much, some of you a whole essay. If your name is not here and you consider us friends, do not hesitate to message or ask me about it, I never want to leave people out and I know how anxiety-inducing it can be to not wind up on one of these lists with someone you care about. That being said, here are the names of all of my amazing friends, in no particular order:

@twinklesporkle, @justanidiotartist, @nyxus-nyx, @jupiter-nwn, @rib-rabbitmask, @still-got-no-idea, @liliallowed, @ashburntcat, @ponnedapple, @person-of-many-names, @itzcherrybonbon, @spamsbylee, @nevil-gonslek, @duckielikeserror, @psycho-chair, @letsatomicbanana, @starmonsterrr, @midnightstarshadow, @colorfulpaintspills, @kenopsia-ksp, @autisticseapanda, @hiro-doodlez, @cherrio-krispz, @emerald-onion, @the-save-star-anomaly, @everydaygremlin, @dreamsb0u, @skylerfurmaniac, @meimeikyu, @silly-inksans-stuff, @sketchingstars03, @shenanogram, @sargentvenipede

And with these friends, I’d also like to take a moment to thank followers of mine who I’ve never known super personally but still value immensely. I don’t truly know you guys, but you seem amazing, thank you so much for being here.

@hex0code, @cherrifruiti, @gloomywoomymoon, @atherflame-theconcubus, @neonordream, @finleyforevermore, @epicnightm, @youracecard, @pearbranch14823, @palisadewasp @wolvesbaneandbuttercups, @crunchontoast, @bloomyspring

Thank all of you so, so much. There would probably be more names but there is a mention limit of 50, so I had to cut some down. Either way, thank you all a million, you all mean so much to me and I think this day is truly going to be the start of a new beginning.

And to all the people who would have been here, the friends who should have been here but aren’t…

if it’s simply because we haven’t talked in a while, I hope you’re alright and I miss you.

but if it’s because you’ve harmed me, I still hope you’re alright and growing as a person. I’m sorry we didn’t work out and I promise I miss the you that I knew. I wish that things had happened differently, and even though you’re likely not seeing this I hope today can be the start of new beginnings for you too. Thanks for the impacts that you’ve left on me, even if those are scars. You guys have also helped make me into who I am, and without hardship it would be hard for me to learn.

Here’s to a new day, and any more lovely years to come.

[ryo-apologist]

Feathers and Ashes

Shigaraki Tomura x Reader x Keigo Takami

CW: Spoilers, but at this point, they aren't new. This isn't really headcanons or a story, just my thoughts on it. Depictions of toxic relationships.

AN: Okay. hear me out here- HEAR ME OUT. It's always Shigadabi this, Hotwings that, which yes. They are elite. They are delicious. But there's a whole market being missed on Shigahawks. Dusty feathers if you will. All I know is I want to be between them and no one is letting me without letting Dabi in too.

~Darling XOXO

☾ It doesn't matter what side of the war you're on. Not anymore. When entangled with a hero bred from a society crumbling beneath the weight of their owns sins of the very idea of heroism and the villain aiming to destroy it all with a simply touch of his fingers and leave it in smokey ruins, you don't get an opinion.

☾ Maybe you do, but it's biased. Hawks wants to preach that he's a hero, he's one of the good guys, but Keigo can't even believe that himself.

☾ How can he when he has the blood of someone who saw him as an ally still warm on his palms, seeping through his gloves and tainting his very soul. The one still flickering with the hope he had as a child.

☾ Hawks and Keigo are such interesting characters. I say 'and' because I personally view them as two different entities. Not in a split personality way, not, but as in Hawks is a mask that Keigo wears to protect his fragile little heart so no one can touch it. And if we chose to delve into his entire character, he's full of so much gray morality, truly I could write an essay on him and his entire motivations and how he's so much more than what the fandom devolves him too.

☾ Shigaraki Tomura on the other end of the spectrum is an individual so tainted and rocked by a past soaked in trauma thats never been addressed in a proper way that he's blind to positions that even slightly challenge his own. His rivalry with Stain back in season one (two? Idk it's been awhile.) set his character, and thus development, up in the way that told the audience he didn't like challenges to his authority in any way. The following fight against Overhaul confirmed this. There's a difference between the way he was characterized as childish, which he is, and the way his reactions played out to these challenges. With Overhaul, this entire thing showed that above all else, Shigaraki is strategic. He's incredibly intelligent when it comes to battle IQ and war fronts and has proven it. (Not with the USJ incident, but liken that to starting a game. You never know how to play first round, but play around a bit and learn the controls a bit better and you get better.)

☾ Now, why do I say all of this in a post about a threesome with crust one and two?

☾ It's important to know why I find this dynamic so interesting because these two as individual characters are interesting, but look at their parallels.

☾ We have two children, surrounded by broken homes, that need a way out. Their quirks give them that ability, but at what cost? The cost of gathering the attention of adults who know right from wrong, taking them in and indoctrinating them in all the wrong things while encouraging enforcing propaganda about ideologies that directly contradicted what they were preaching.

☾ Neither side is truthfully right, argue with the wall about that (I'm not saying they're justified in how they're handling the war, do not get me wrong about that), but Keigo and Tomura will be damned before giving up their spot in the war, and that is something so fun to play with.

☾ Alright, back to the fun stuff you clicked read more for.

☾ Your opinion? Doesn't matter. In fact, I would avoid that topic entirely between them. Hawks is willing to kill for what he believes in, may Jin rest in peace, but so is Shigaraki evidently.

☾ Keigo and Tomura, however, are willing to set aside their ideologies.

☾ Do not get the idea that this is a healthy relationship by any means. No. I do not believe that even in his darkest depths Shigaraki is capable of anything moderately healthy. In the same vein, I don't think Hawks is either. It's not feasible with their lifestyles, it's not feasible with their missions, it's not feasible with their characters.

☾ Shigaraki is infamously territorial and possessive. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. He wants what he claims is his, and he wants it now. He has the power to do so, he has the will, he will get what he wants.

☾ The only way I can see this happening is this: Hawks takes up a secret lover, how this happens is hard to say- pick your poison, I personally love them being a villain playing undercover hero and getting close, but that's me- and Shigaraki catches wind of this. Let's say we run with that idea, of the sweetheart being a villain of their own right, then they aren't affiliated with the league. Or maybe they are, I don't know. But Hawks and his villain sweetheart are running around, the former believing this is a villain trying to make a change and Keigo wants to help them, if a bit weary.

☾ And Shigaraki notices. Nothing big like the number two playing around with a villain goes on in the underground without him knowing. So he knows, and he doesn't know what the villain sweetheart is going after, but he wants in. He doesn't want anything opposing his rise to power, especially not some half-baked jack-off that thinks Hawks will save them.

☾ But then he meets them and maybe they aren't as bad as he hastily decided. He still doesn't like them, but he isn't going to dust them right away. They chat. Maybe they're threatened to fall under the League, or maybe they're willing to team up in exchange for something. Drugs, money, fire power, hard to say.

☾ But villain sweetheart refuses to give this up. Dabi fucked up with Hawks, he pulled the trigger pin far too early. But them? They have it locked down. Hawks is learning. It's subliminal, it's conditioning, it's something so small that Hawks only picks up on it when something in his routine changes to accommodate and by then it's too late.

☾ I think Hawks is honestly too smart for anything big, honestly he's probably too smart for any sort of manipulation.

☾ For the most part.

☾ Oh you thought I'd leave it at that? No. Think about the Dabi situation. He's down, he's vulnerable, he's been outed and now he's hated by the country. Hawks is dead. Keigo is yearning for something to grasp onto, to hold that won't crumble between his fingers like his hero career currently is.

☾ Now is the moment to strike. You have villain sweetheart offering up information about a mafia group they don't like, giving their information the benefit of the doubt and giving them the title of 'useable'. Not trustworthy, but the heroes take their plea for redemption with some merit.

☾ And Keigo clings to them the moment they offer any sort of apology, fake or not, for what happened, because it's an acknowledgement that he was wronged in some way shape or form.

☾ He's weary of being hurt again, but should villain sweetheart capitalize on this? Work their way deep into his shuddering and quivering heart and take post there? Manipulate the situation so that his focus shifts from hero politics to them?

☾ And then they team with Shigaraki?

☾ Keigo, not Hawks (Hawks is dead. He will remain that way. Keigo is running the show even if he's running it off a cliff), can be considered a guard dog. He's not trusted, fuck no, not at all, but he's defense. He's not trusted as offense, but canon fodder? Absolutely.

☾ If his villain sweetheart needs him, he's there.

☾ Shigaraki isn't happy, but he's too interested in villain sweetheart to let go. So what's the obvious solution?

☾ There isn't a good one. Hawks is, at this point, enamored in a relationship so dependent it's hilarious. He can't let go and he can't be alone, not again. He's done it as a child, he's done it as a hero, and he's hated it. he can't be alone. He can't, he can't, he can't.

☾ But there's a new toy in the toybox, a new piece on the board, and Shigaraki wants it. He needs it, no matter how useless it'll turn out to be. It's a piece the other side doesn't have. An uncontrolled, unpredictable, undocumented variable.

☾ To a degree, he knows what the heroes will do. He knows him and Deku will fight. He knows that. They, admittedly, know he'll do whatever it takes. They know he's going after their foundation built off of All Might and anything, especially Deku, to take it down and he's willing to take quirks to do so.

☾ But this new piece? No one knows what they want. They don't know who they're going after. They don't know what is driving them. And that, in a war, is dangerous. It can make or break either side.

☾ And Tomura Shigaraki wants them.

☾ Keigo has been proven as a non-threat to him. He's not dangerous anymore. He's been disarmed once, he has a blatant weakness to which they can exploit. So if he wants to cling to this variable then so be it. It's not on his radar.

☾ Anything Hawks can do to him, he can combat with his own quirk. He's not worried.

☾ Keigo is terrified. His quirk? We need to be so real. It's cool, yes, helpful, absolutely, but in the grand scheme? Not that combat oriented. He can't beat any of the big bad villain players unless their own quirk isn't combat based. Like Twice. Toga, I feel they are pretty evenly matched and will come down to something like swordsmanship and training. Dabi and Shigaraki? Not a chance. I hate to say it, I'm a Hawks baby fr, but being a Hawks person means I can admit he's only all that and a bag of chips because the commission pushed his image to be that.

☾ Anyway, Keigo? Terrified of losing his sweetheart. He's following them no matter what just trying to garner where they want to take this and how.

☾ So, where are we now?

☾ Keigo, with his hero persona long dead, is clinging to a villain who's using this to their advantage all while said villain is behind the scenes, working with one of the biggest players on the board currently. Said big player thinks this new piece is little more than a morsel of advantage over the other side, but this new piece has taken what is essential a bishop or knight (a piece that you never really think about until you're pinned by them) from the other side and converted them.

☾ Shigaraki is willing to ignore Hawks, but Keigo isn't willing to do the same. It's too risky for him, so he's right back where he swore he'd never go again into the lion's den.

☾ So it's a stalemate. Shigaraki isn't willing to let go, but neither is Keigo.

☾ It's a dynamic that is endlessly interesting to me and something I feel the fandom can explore. Dabi adds spice, but it's been beaten in every way with Shigaraki and Hawks and all three together. But he's got his share, Dabi's kicked to the curb for now. Let's explore these two as one pairing, because their dynamics are endlessly interesting with their parallels and their characters.

☾ I'm getting rambly so I'll end it there. I'm sure I'll write so much more about what I'm dubbing dusty feathers because I love them so much individually and can only imagine them as a pair.

[fatuismooches]

its your boy. the one and only 😈

i bring—surprise surprise! fluff.

recently i've been really obsessing at the idea of akademiya zandik actually having someone to look up to!! like his senior 🥺 someone who approves of his research and is actively critiquing him as an equal, commenting about his papers how he expected his peers would back then,, and i can just imagine a head over heels zandik trailing where ever you went,, because you have the sweetest smile and he feels so happy just being your side. and you seem happy having him close to you even though he's not talkin and just reading or writing. you tell him stuff he didn't know and he's in awe on how smart you are.,, you're not like those narrow-minded scholars in the akademiya, thats why you're far more famous in the akademiya,, like oh, your darshan's sage has their eyes on you??? everyone asks for your opinion or be in your expiditions???

and he feels sooo special when u refuse others because, well, zandik was first to get your attention so now he's going on an expedition with you. alone! and ahhh he LOOOVEESS when you defend him against others scholars whenever they comment on him badly.,, like zandik offers a solution that wasn't even inhumane but people still look at him in disgust because how dare he suggest even a thing when he's the freak of akademiya and you step up, agreeing with him and passive aggressively calling out others with a tense smile...

idk i really wanna give zandik someone who he could look up to n make him feel somewhat normal about his ideas 😭😭😭😭

OH MY. OH MY MYMYMY EUDEWWD i am actually eating this up so much... Zandik falling in love with his senior will be occupying my mind forever now thanks. Even better when you're a well-respected member of the Akademiya, everyone expects you to condemn and criticize the actions of Zandik. And he doesn't expect anything else from you at first, he thought you were just like the rest of them. But nope! Unlike the rest of your fellow scholars, instead of dismissing his work with barely a passing glance, you sat down and read it. You annotated it. You highlighted bits you agreed with, disagreed with, questions, parts that needed further clarification. All handed back to him with a smile on your face and a pat on his back, as you walked away happily.

Zandik's stunned and is already a bit head over heels.

All the other scholars are now blowing up at you. Someone like you shouldn't be doing this! He goes against what the Akademiya stands for! Why are you entertaining him! He and his ideas are freakish! You're going to regret it in the end! All you hear is a bunch of whining and crying. Sure, his ideas aren't quite normal, but perhaps the Akademiya needs to reconsider their standards! Maybe that's why nothing good ever comes out of the school besides scholars with a whole lot of ego with nothing to show for it! Your blatant defense of him has both your fellow classmates and Zandik shocked and quiet. Although Zandik was oddly touched by your attention to his work, he wasn't quite sure if you could be trusted or not, after all, he was used to people shitting on him all the time, but this declaration to the whole of the Akademiya just solidifies the beginning of his obsession with you.

Suddenly he has copies of every single academic paper you've ever written, thoroughly studying them and learning about your research and interests too. He realizes not only are you so incredibly intelligent, but you're open-minded to many things. The best possible combination. It's only this one time he slightly curses himself for not paying more attention to the Akademiya's affairs, because how did he miss how much even the sages like you and how people are begging you to reread their essays or tutor them? And then... it starts to go past that. He wants to know everything about you. Zandik wants to know what makes you smile, tick, what you do in your free time... do you have more things in common than he thought? No, no of course he's not trying to be your friend! He's merely interested. Curious.

Zandik's so strangely into you. Instead of locking himself up in his room all day, he finds himself coming out to find you, which he does rather quickly with how much people are crowding you with questions. But as soon as you spot him, you brighten up and break away from them, making him stiffen from all the eyes on him now. Though you merely drag him away from there and he lets you!! And you take him out to... lunch? With desert too? For such a genius, you are so... weird sometimes. You're the one chatting away and gossiping and dumping about so many things that aren't important at all while he's just nodding... but he likes it.

DUDE Zandik feels on top of the world whenever you ignore others for him 😭😭❤️🥺 Like he just gets this shit-eating grin on his face as he sneers at the other person. Hah, did they really think they were worthy of your attention? Your brilliance? These idiots don't deserve your brain much less your kindness. He still thinks you entertain them too much, your intelligence should be spent on far more important things. AND UGHH YESS <33 Being his #1 defender <33 He genuinely loves you so much for that, going out of your way to defend someone like him that everyone hates so much. He knows that no matter what you say people won't change but... it's nice.

You two going on expeditions alone... yes the work gets done obviously, you two are smart enough to get it done easily... but it drags on far longer than initially planned because you keep kissing Zandik when he starts talking all smartly, and when he gets a super cute concentrated look on his face... and then he yells at you for wasting time... and you kiss him again because he's cute when he's mad... yea the expeditions are totally productive! 🤭 I just think Zandik deserves to feel special and flustered. Bby needs some positive attention on him for once.

[zombie-bait]

listen if you love amc iwtv and haven’t read the books I’m begging you to read The Vampire Lestat. I know there’s hardcore fans out there who love book one and think you need to read them all in order and I respect the grind, I really do. But.

The Vampire Lestat changed me.

Everything about it was so instantly fascinating. The My Immortal ass prologue, the eloquent writing, the struggles with religion, the history, the overt queerness (this was pre amc iwtv so all I had was the movie ok 😭), the campiness, the quotes that run through my head night and day. Lestat is a bombastic protagonist who’s desperate to survive and find a single ounce of love in a godless world. You get to see a new side of Armand, you get Nicki, you get Lestat’s mother (who I could write a whole essay on). You get the Loustat reunion in all its emotionally glory. If you want to know why the went so hard with the show I implore you to read that book.

Interview is good but TVL is powerful. Where Interview was full of grief, TVL is full of hope and pessimism and defiance that rose from the ashes of that grief. You can feel how much Anne changed in the 7 years between the two books not just as an author but a person. Is it perfect? No of course not, its kind of insane at times. But this is the Vampire Chronicles we’re talking about, I think that’s a given (and, at many times, a positive).

((Edit because I was sleep deprived while writing this and left some stuff out: This is mostly aimed at ppl who are on the fence about reading the books after watching the show or who have tried to read Interview and weren't too grabbed by it. I would potentially recommend watching the movie, skimming book 1 and then reading book 2. The differences in Anne's writing style and opinions on religion are genuinely fascinating to read first hand. The stand out part of experiencing the two books together is how different Louis and Lestat's accounts are. It's an incredibly unique case of both protagonists being unreliable narrators that I haven't seen in other media. This post is largely just me going "hey, if you tried Interview and it made you not want to read more even though you really enjoy the ambiance/concept then TVL might be more up your alley." If you want an in-depth look into the series and if you want to catch/compare everything with the tv show, then absolutely read the first book! I did and I don't regret it, even though I do feel like book 2 is stronger. Tryna keep this short cuz I love this series and I have a million things to say hjdhsfhjkdhjh))

[cinnamontails-ff]

Why this is the perfect cover for "Accountant's Guide"

Alright, folks! It’s been a week of coming to terms with my overflowing emotions regarding this beautiful piece of cover art for the Ukrainian translation of Accountant’s Guide, and I am ready to wrestle it all into an essay.

Spoilers for the story ahead! It’s been finished since September 2023, so either read it here or proceed at your own risk!

First off, a huge, huge thank you to Marko_Wowchok for taking the time to translate my work and of course, the incredible @razinbee for creating a cover that, quite frankly, I could see as an ad for the next Studio Ghibli movie. You are both so very talented and your love and care for my story is so, so appreciated!

Now, as for the piece itself: Let’s start with the choice of showing just their hands, clasped intimately atop a piece of paper. It’s something I never would have come up with in a million years, but it’s absolutely genius. There’s a sense of subtlety to it. It leaves room for imagination because you don’t actually see what they’re doing; it’s simply implied that they’re most likely going at it on the desk (again). I love this. Because while I wrote Accountant’s Guide as a romance (and it does contain explicit spicy scenes), my goal was always to write Astarion and Scarlett as partners first and lovers second. I am really not a fan of romance stories that rely on physical attraction alone. Basically, if the story wouldn’t work with both of them being ugly, it’s not for me.

Astarion and Scarlett come together as reluctant allies at first. Scarlett offers him a deal to take out Cazador together and Astarion agrees mostly as a way of keeping himself entertained. He does not believe for a moment that she might actually succeed and he is actively planning to throw her to Cazador’s feet at the earliest convenience. But simply by working together, they start to grow closer over time.

Scarlett is the first person in centuries to treat him like a normal guy™. She is a very practical person - she has to be in order to willingly cooperate with the man who’s led her sister to her death. And while she isn’t immune to his flirting, she ignores it because she is painfully aware that he’s way out of her league and nothing good can ever come from that. It is only when she starts to see his vulnerable sides that she develops feelings for him and he, in turn, for her. At this point, however, they’ve both already saved each other’s lives several times. She has fed him when he was starving and he has slaughtered a bunch of guards that interrupted his poorly planned heist/date idea. They know each other, trust each other, rely on each other – they are a team in every sense of the word. When they do eventually share their first kiss in chapter 13, it is a powerful scene (if I do say so myself), but it is also really just one more layer to the bond that they have cultivated over the course of many months. Showing their clasped hands and nothing else is such a fantastic way to visualize the depth of their connection. It is a gesture of companionship and trust as well as intimacy and romance.

Then there is the positioning of their hands: Astarion’s on top of Scarlett’s, his fingers pinning her down, while her fingers are splayed out helplessly - dare I say, ecstatically. It is a stunning representation of their romantic dynamic. Astarion is the experienced, confident sex god who usually takes the lead, while Scarlett hasn’t done a whole lot of things before meeting him and is generally happy to go along with whatever he has in mind. He is her first. He is the one who shows her everything her body can do and he is careful in taking things step by step, working her up from missionary to slightly kinkier stuff all the way to her sitting on his face in “Pocket Money”. His hand on top of hers, holding her and guiding her, is a beautiful depiction of that.

At the same time, I like how the tenseness of his fingers in contrast to her more relaxed posture indicates how much he clings to her. After two centuries of being Cazador’s slave, Scarlett is literally the first time Astarion has anything that is his own. She is his first genuine connection, a lover he’s picked for himself, as well as his savior in helping to break him free from Cazador. He is terrified of losing her, so much so that he even tries to convince her to let him turn her into a vampire, so she won’t die before him. None of that is a perfectly healthy relationship dynamic, mind you, but who could expect that from him after what he’s been through? She is his lifeline. His anchor. The one glimmer of hope in two centuries and this man is ready to eviscerate any vampire lord, spawn, or magic teacher (sorry, Gale!) who so much as threatens to come in between them.

I also want to shout out how the softness and subtlety of their clasped hands reflects how their relationship has to unfold in secret. The second half of Accountant’s Guide lives off the tension of them plotting their plan B while living under the same roof as Cazador, both of them bound to him in different ways. They are in his house, their every move under constant scrutiny by Cazador as well as his spawn, and one wrong step could be the end for both of them. Those are absolutely cruel circumstances to be building a relationship in. Astarion has to make up lies to Cazador as to how he has gained access to a more regular blood supply. He has to pretend to be disgusted with her, so Cazador will continue to send him to comfort her, not one of the other spawn. Scarlett has to hide her bite marks and (awkwardly) flirt her way out of Cazador’s attempts at getting closer to her. There’s a sense of powerlessness to their situation that makes the intimate scenes they get even more special to both of them. I am generally a fan of subtlety, a big proponent of “less is more”, and I couldn’t be happier with how this is conveyed in the simplicity of their clasped hands on the desk.

Finally, the ink and fountain pen. Fountain pens have accidentally become one of my defining characteristics as a writer and I am not at all mad about it. I love heroines who succeed through cleverness and tenacity rather than Strong Female Character syndrome™. When I designed Scarlett, I really wanted someone who would throw Astarion for a loop. Someone he’d have no clue what to do with, someone so different from him and his reality, her every word would cause a flood of error messages in his precious brain. I wanted someone down to earth, someone who would play off him and make all his silly lines sound even sillier - and I wanted someone who’d be able to free him from Cazador through nonconventional and meme-worthy means.

And so I made her an accountant.

I have spoken about this before, but I hail from a family full of accountants. My research for this fic was every single family dinner I have ever attended. I love the ridiculousness of defeating a vampire lord through tax fraud because it plays on the inherent arrogance of Cazador. He is immensely powerful, physically as well as in his social influence, but he, too, can be brought down by a very diligent, very detail-oriented accountant who can demonstrate just how much money he owes the government, thus motivating them to step the fuck up and put him behind bars. It’s the epitome of the (fountain) pen being mightier than the sword. Scarlett is a character who has been underestimated her entire life and she doesn’t really mind it because when the time is right, she knows she can brandish her fountain pen and show everyone what’s what. She has a very quiet, unassuming type of power about herself that I have seen in the many badass accountants in my family and I love how this is reflected in the fountain pen, the ink pot, and of course the infamous ink stains on her fingers. Scarlett does not care about the ink on her fingers – she cares about getting shit done. And I love her for it. And Astarion loves her for it. But he will use every chance he gets to tear her off her work and bend her over the desk because he is also absolutely crazy about her.

This piece is sexy without being graphic. It is beautifully intimate and soft, yet still holds that tension between the two of them with Astarion holding on to her as hard as he possibly can and Scarlett practically melting at his every touch. It shows how a very unassuming, very mundane pencil pusher went and took down the immortal vampire lord with nothing but her mind and her fountain pen (and, well, math magic). The simplicity of it all is what really kicks me in the gut, I think. Because their love is simple at its core. It’s inevitable from the moment they first strike their deal in chapter 4. They don’t have a lot of grand gestures or epic fight scenes (the only fight scene is largely taken care of by The Gang as Astarion is stuck to the floor and Scarlett goes one-on-one versus Laiara). Even their love confessions are quiet and unassuming. They just grow together in a way that has always felt very natural to me and then they hold on and weather it all together until they emerge on the other side, together.

This piece hits right into the core of my story and I couldn’t be happier to see something so beautiful emerge from what I have created. Thank you. I will treasure this forever.

- Cin

[wholoveseggs]

Camping anon here⛺️,, I’m so happy that you took time out of your schedule to expand and add onto my thoughts… I love how you describe each of the characters, even going into detail about Finn,, which is something I don’t see people do much. Which you are absolutely right about what you said about him. He is essentially just a symbol,, an object and he is used as such. He gets used as a plot device for the story to continue on, almost like a puppet…

I loved reading your thoughts on the others, you expanded a lot on why they are the way they are which is something I thought about doing but I didn’t want to write you a whole essay 😭…

Regarding Kol (my love), I definitely agree with you that Daniel Sharman is the better actor (for multiple reasons other than just his acting abilities…). He plays the character of Kol very well and conveys the emotions beautifully. I don’t know if you have watched it but he plays a character named Troy Otto on Fear: The Walking Dead,, Troy is borderline psychotic for a number of reasons,, the way he was raised and y’know the added stress of being in the apocalypse and having to lead a group of survivors,, Sharman depicts the character very well… I’d argue that he could have played vamp!Kol better… (I still love you vamp!Kol…)

Daniel also plays on Teen Wolf,, another show that you may or may not have watched. He plays Isaac Lahey,, a victim of abuse and he portrays the character in such a beautiful and accurate way. He’s incredibly talented as an actor and way underrated imo. Not to get into a Teen Wolf rant because God knows I will, but there’s a lot of talent on that show and some underrated actors who deserve way more recognition than they get and Daniel falls into that category.

~ Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me 💜

p.s. I’m so dumb I’m just realizing you can change the font size and color and stuff even when you’re anonymous, I thought you couldn’t do that…

I have not seen either of those shows! He is a brilliant actor and I would love to see him in more things.

&& this is a PSA please send me essays about your favorite TVDU or HOTD character ... I love that shit, I gobble it up like a feral little gremlin.

[littlespoonevan]

Hi, can I please ask for some of the essays about the cemetery talk and what we were supposed to take away from that scene? If you feel inclined, that is 💕

well i don't know if i can write an essay exactly bc tbh i still don't know for certain what we're supposed to take away from that scene. but i do know the tone of it was completely different to anything we've ever seen for buddie before and it also lasted so much longer than most of their scenes have before??? like i just went back to rewatch it to refresh my memory and it's 3 minutes???? that is an incredibly long scene for two characters to have in an ensemble show when they're literally just talking and it's not strictly moving the plot forward

but to try and break it down a bit:

i find it fascinating the way eddie reacts to buck talking about natalia. that weary, almost irritated, "really?" when buck admits he'd met up with her followed by the "dating somebody you rescued, you know what never ends well." it's So Different to the snarky way he used to react to taylor. like when he'd make comments about taylor you knew he was mostly joking or at worst, just being a little bitchy. but he sounds genuinely frustrated when buck brings up natalia. the closest thing i can compare it to is that it's a more muted version of "his fiance's abby" and we know eddie knew how deeply buck was affected by losing abby so it feels a bit like eddie is potentially annoyed bc he knows buck will probably get hurt again???

then you have buck saying the whole "i think she sees me" bit which echoes so much of buck's overarching storyline and his struggle with love in the past. and i know some people call this eddie's 'oh' moment but i definitely don't consider it an "oh i'm in love with him" moment. i feel like it's more of an "oh he doesn't see that i see him too" moment, if that makes sense?? and i think there probably is a bit of frustration with that for eddie given that the will scene is eddie as loudly and demonstratively as he can saying "i see you" y'know? nevermind all the little ways he proves he knows buck

and tbh i think my favourite part of the scene is actually the last 60 seconds because first you have eddie saying "you haven't been the same since it happened, but then again how could you be?" and it's just!!! 1) it's literally him proving he does see buck and probably knows him better than anyone else and 2) there's a very subtle hint of realisation in his voice when eddie says "how could you be" as if he's been convincing himself buck is fine this entire time (maybe post-couch nap) only for him to now realise buck really, really isn't.

tHEN he says "you don't have to be anything for anybody" and it might be my favourite words to ever come out of his mouth tbh because it's just once again emphasising the gentle way eddie lets buck be?????????? "i had to do it" "i know you did", "you knew i wouldn't" "i knew you wouldn't". eddie is So Good at offering buck a reprieve whenever he needs one and he's usually the person best able to break through all the noise in buck's head to make him understand that he's fine just existing as himself.

aND THEN eddie makes the comment about how going through near death experiences change a person and all i can think about is how after eddie's near death experience he made the decision to tell buck about his will after keeping it a secret for a year and how he never actually answered buck's question about why he kept it a secret in the first place and i have to ask, eddie diaz what changed in you???????????

combine all of that with the fact their outfits mirror what they wore in 5x14 and the absolute irony of eddie saying dating someone on a call never works out only for him to pursue marisol two eps later and just- i don't know if they pivoted bc there was a fear season 6 would be the end of the series or if the last few eps were always supposed to go the way they did but this scene in 6x15 raises so many questions and i feel like i don't have the answers to any of them skjahd

[misty-moth]

I have seen you talk passionately about Leon. (From this RB : https://www.tumblr.com/misty-moth/736722062035615744/alright-so-ive-been-thinking-about-this-when)

If you want to, i would like to listen (read) you rant about Leon. Stay safe 💜

I did get very passionate 😂 I feel like I could write an essay on each character tbh, but especially Leon when it comes to plot.

If I were to add anything to what I said before, it would be explaining the “why are they always in the training grounds??”

Warning: this became another essay 🥲

To elaborate, I think the other princes are put in places/situations that show off their personalities. Examples: Yves/Licht in the gardens, Licht on town patrols/escort missions, Nokto establishing relationships outside of the palace, Chev/Clavis out on ~mysterious missions~. (Luke is sleeping somewhere, and we love that for him)

The reason I think location is so important for Leon is that he is a man of action. When I think of him, I don’t think of sitting in an office all day doing paperwork or in the training grounds shouting commands. That feels more like a comfortable fit for Jin.

Leon is a leader with great people skills— a trait that would go really well with seeing him interacting with citizens and showing his collaboration with them to solve issues/gather intel.

He’s a leader that’s incredibly street-smart— put him in situations where he has to problem solve on the spot. Where there isn’t an obvious solution, so he has to go with his gut.

He’s a leader who is an even match for Chev. I will die on this hill. “Chev is always right” when has Leon been wrong? “Chev is an astounding fighter” so is Leon, and he’s gone toe-to-toe with Chev. Their ruling styles are clearly and purposefully different, but I also think their “pr team” is out of whack, and I’ll explain that too.

See, Chev is incredible. He wants people to know that and respect/fear him accordingly. He is not shy about his ideologies, his intellectual and physical talents, and all the things that make Chev undeniably powerful. He makes sure people know.

Leon is incredible. He doesn’t want to intimidate anyone. He also isn’t shy about his ideologies, but he does his best to only flaunt his intellect and physical talents when talking won’t cut it. He has the people skills to solve issues without taking unnecessary losses. We’ve seen this many times.

Leon and Chev are both crazy interesting. If they were both given equal intel, they would be an unstoppable duo.

But if you were mc and had what felt like “an impossible to solve problem”, who would you go to? The guy who is always referred to as a genius, or to the guy who is always referred to as “nice”? I know Leon won’t flex his skills, but god I wish he would.

Okay, okay, this has become a whole essay, so I’ll just add a last thought:

Leon is also incredibly mature… and a damn good actor. It isn’t that his past isn’t hinted at in other routes, it’s that he doesn’t show anything that doesn’t need to be seen. He doesn’t want anyone to carry his burden or to see him differently. As far as coping goes, he’s probably doing the best. (To clarify: his trauma isn’t lesser, his coping is just stronger imo)

All of the princes have varying traumas, and we don’t know what they are until we read their route. So I truly don’t think that’s what he’s “lacking”. He doesn’t need to dwell in a past when he’s kicking the past’s ass. I want to see the emotional strength he’s gained kicking the future’s ass 😎

Also gonna tag @leonscape in case you’d like to read me ranting and raving again 😭

[22degreehalo]

Something I find kind of frustrating in discussions of female characters is whole ardently a lot of people will commit to the, like, aesthetic? of wanting bad/messy/unjustified female characters. All 'I support women's wrongs <3' and dunking on people who can't 'handle' a woman who does one thing wrong ever and the like

But then, when they actually start talking about their favourite female character. they DO, in fact, think that everything they did was okay and justified. Like, yes, they admit that they were violent or lashed out, but then they'll write essays about how it was a totally normal and justified traumatic response and everyone in-universe and out should forgive them and how the male characters she hurt were actually the ones who did wrong first so she was just fighting against the patriarchal dystopia she lives in etc. etc.

and I just. do not think that that is actually the same thing!!!!!

For an example: Ashley The Coffin Of Andy And Leyley Graves. Since joining the fandom I've been continually startled by just how MANY people will assert, with vehement assurance, that Andrew is 'just as bad as Ashley', often with the explicit or implicit judgement that anyone who thinks otherwise is biased against women.

And... I actually do think I disagree!!!!! Insofar as 'good person' is a quantifiable thing, it's made pretty dang clear in the flashback that Andrew has a level of conscience that, back then at least, Ashley truly did not show. She actively wanted to hurt Nina, even if not kill her outright, and was much less upset when it ultimately happened. She's also the initiator of almost all the fucked-up stuff that happens in canon: the cannibalism, the cold-blooded murder, and even the incest.

And that's fucking awesome!!! Ashley is the driving force behind the narrative: the proactive, game-changing one, the one who's running the show for the two of them. By contrast, Andrew's involvement is almost entirely either passive or reactive; even when he does, for example, kill the other guard, you could argue that Ashley was the true motivator behind it, given that she's the reason they ended up in that situation in the first place AND she's the one who chose that hiding place. He just saw that her life was in danger and pulled a trigger.

That's a role that is almost always given to female characters: the guilt-ridden ones, the conscience, the passive enablers. Men are the ones who Act; women, usually, simply Are, exerting influence on the story merely by affecting those around them.

Ashley is, in my view, a worse person than Andrew: because it certainly seems that she would have had the level of conscience that she has even without an Andrew to manipulate, while Andrew would WITH CERTAINTY not have done even half the shit he pulls in the game if not for Ashley.

And that's why she's such a great female character. Because she's not just reacting to the patriarchy and exhibiting some inherently female reasonableness or moral ethics. She is the reason why the story is happening as it is - not because men are driven to act on her behalf, but because of her own personal fucked-up choices and quasi-intentional manipulation.

She has, in short, the vast majority of the agency of the story. And she uses it to be selfish and fucked up (evil) and fucked up (traumatised) and weird and goofy and vicious and incredibly fucking fun to watch, and I for one think that's fucking awesome.

[lets-try-some-writing]

Your CC Warfare fic legit had me stressing out so bad I thought I was feeling a genuinely new emotion, lol. That whole thing was like a really bad car crash: it's terrible what happened, but you can't look away. If Strongarm had just said nothing, she would've avoided putting her foot in her mouth and getting in trouble. With how tense everything was, I see no reason why she would jump in. I understand she was trying to help Sideswipe out of that situation, but she did it in like the complete opposite direction! She should've reared him in, not back him up. She said it herself that they were war veterans. Though, I suppose that's easier said. Strongarm may be intelligible of the war records and Autobot law, but truthfully, plain intelligence pales in the face of wisdom and actual experience. Intelligence says: this war could've easily been won because of xyz. Wisdom and experience say completely otherwise. And I guess that is one of the points Optimus is trying to make: that Strongarm and Sideswipe do not have the wisdom or experience to understand exactly why things played out the way they did. I have the feeling the two simply looked at the war records itself and not any history that came before, especially Optimus' involvement with Megatron's revolution. I don't know if that would make much of a difference for Sideswipe tbh but I think Strongarm would be able to see just a little why Optimus couldn't outright kill Megatron in the beginning like Sideswipe said he should've. Even so, going back to the records itself , it won't contain legitimately every single thing that happened. It probably only recorded decisive battles and notable events. Billions of people were involved, and with that many variables, it would be impossible to say that the war could've been won if only Optimus did something sooner. WHICH BY THE WAY MAKES THIS SO MUCH WORSE. Sideswipe (and by extension Strongarm) is basically saying that Optimus is personally responsible for dragging on an intergalactic war just because he didn't off one guy as if the most wicked bots in the face of existence werent out there making lives worse on purpose under the cover of the war and would help stretch it to continue their sick actions. As if there weren't a hundred other Megatrons ready to continue the war themselves the moment Megatron died. If I could write an essay on every reason why the war dragged on, I'll be writing until I die and never come close to finishing. Even within the small game Optimus planned there are obvious reasons why it wouldn't be a quick or easy victory if they even win: limited number of fighters (no guarantee they'd hit the max min bc rallying people to fight is difficult), no details until they got to Helex (you're not always going to know what your goal is when being sent out to fight), no resources from the state (war is expensive and getting funding is difficult). So imagine that plus way more reasons plus on a planetary scale. The scope is simply unfathomable. Anyways, I think this comment has gone on long enough lol. Excellent work as always and I'm excited but also incredibly nervous to see how this all plays out. Take care!

YOU ARE PICKING UP WHAT I AM LAYING DOWN!!!

This whole fic is one giant show. Optimus wants the idiots under Bee's control to LEARN. You've already picked up the logical reasoning behind the rules he's laid down so far. And let me tell you, its only going to get more complicated. War is a difficult and unpredictable thing. Optimus is going to make that as real as possible in this non-lethal scenario.

Is it overkill? Maybe. But if even those serving under Bumblebee don't have the barest inkling of the truth? It hints at a FAR larger problem. I am going to have so much fun writing this thing. I want to get a few chapters stockpiled and then I will post them on Ao3 and continue there :3

Thank you for enjoying my writing and giving this lovely analysis. This sort of things makes my dad and encourages me to write more.

[tothevines]

sooooooo I am now officially writing a jam fic (lmao) and I said to Holly earlier how maybe posting jam fic is what I need to break the seal and start posting my other fic. because I have two fics that are both like...a week's worth of solid daily editing away from being postable. (maybe two weeks. lol.)

so I've just been thinking about why I never do it...why don't I just buckle down and do the editing and post them. and obviously there is the mental hurdle of baring my soul and letting other people read something I've written, which I don't really do anymore. I used to have such thick skin--I've survived some incredibly toxic writing workshops (including one in which the fucking professor was the most toxic person in the workshop). I could handle People with Opinions About My Writing...but I don't know that I can anymore. and fanfiction is honestly a whole different beast. it's baring my soul in such a different way, one where I could easily Do It Wrong (e.g. with characterization), and that's terrifying.

but also...I'm realizing that part of the issue is that I simply have too many hobbies lmao. every evening/weekend, I'm faced with free time and I get overwhelmed because there are so many things i could do with it: work on my fic! work on my non-fanfic writing! catch up on my shows! read a book! play any of the six video games that I've only played half of! embroider! cross-stitch! make gifs! go for a hike! learn that new skill I've been wanting to learn (lately it's visible mending)! watch a two-hour video essay about an influencer I've never heard of! repot that aloe that's gotten too big for its container! deep clean my bathroom! (cleaning counts as a hobby okay 😤)

but ANYWAY...there are so many choices. I just like a lot of stuff. but often I end up doing none of these and feeling like absolute shit because I've wasted hours doomscrolling when I could have been doing something fulfilling (but that's a whole separate issue...).

but this week I haven't had any proper free time because I just moved. so every day has just been: get home from work > unpack boxes > eat dinner > unpack more boxes > go to bed. but my brain is rotating the blorbos like rotisserie chickens the entire time, and I really want to write, but I just don't have the time for it.

but then I get irritated with myself because - why am I acting like being busy is the reason I'm not writing? I don't write nearly as often as I'd like to, even when I do have the time for it. so why do I avoid it when I DO actually have the time???

and I think I just have so many hobbies that I will use them as an excuse to not write. if I'm always doing something else (or avoiding doing anything via doomscrolling), I can't write, so I can't ever post my fic, and I won't open myself up to criticism or being perceived.

I've felt so ashamed about not finishing/posting my fic for years at this point, but sitting here at work and word-vomiting all these thoughts into tumblr dot com actually feels like I'm having a little breakthrough about it. I don't know that having said breakthrough will actually make me change my behavior, but it's a good place to start!!!

it's really helpful for me to understand that I don't shy away from writing because I Am Bad and A Fraud but rather because all my other hobbies are so much less emotionally fraught--I don't have a bunch of fear and anxiety around all my other little activities like I do with writing. (not to mention how I have based a large part of my identity on ~being a writer~ for so much of my life and how hard THAT can make writing. for reasons that I cannot get into now but I'm sure y'all get it).

but anyway. I don't have a real conclusion here besides that I hope working this out will help me spend more time on writing and less time using my other interests to avoid writing. and maybe I will be able to tell when I want to do something because I actually have the desire to do it versus when I want to do something because it seems easier/less emotionally complicated than writing.

also maybe working on rpf is helpful because I don't know if I would ever post it anyway, so it's lower stakes??? if I do end up finishing a jam fic before I finish either of my queliot fics that will be so fucking funny though💀