#I could write a whole ass essay on it

[basket-of-loquats]

jayvik sketch inspired by kiss of judas by giotto

[akkivee]

My Generation: Buster Bros!!! Drama Track TL

sorry for the wait!!!! come get y’all’s bb drama fresh off the presses!!! three months late lol!!!!! tl’s in the link!!!

[dashflashy-arts]

These fellas... I sense a pattern

[nicomoon69]

every time I’m forced to see this image bc I have to describe what’s wrong w it to dumb ass ppl a small part of me dies

cw: ugly ass emo whitewashed genshin man

[cursivebloodlines]

hello you lovely lot <3

first of all is the usual apologies. i submitted my second assignment a few days ago for uni. i should get my marks back by christmas eve, apparently! which is good because we weren't expecting until like next year. anyway. the last few weeks of doing nutrition have been absolute hell and literally for most of this week i'd been up to stupid o'clock trying to finish the damn thing.

anyway, i'm now a week behind on studies which is fun. but there's a 2 week break for christmas coming up, so i plan on catching up then. i had a few nights of just lying in bed watching tv and now i'm back at my desk trying to work on things.

i can only profusely apologise for disappearing for what feels like forever again. i am just always grateful that you're all still willing to write with me and for that i can't thank you guys enough. that being said, i would completely understand if people don't because of how slow i am, that's okay :) and i've ghosted everyone for months probably because i just have 0 energy. but that could be the b12 deficiency i need retesting that haven't had chance to yet

phew. that a mouthful!!! anyway. i'm here, i'm lurking. probs won't get a lot done but i will try :) i'm at my desk where i like the clippyclappy keyboard. just gotta get some inspo so might look on pinterest or reread threads/our ship tags/etc. i just feel like i've been gone so long that my writing is so bad (not that it ever was brilliant to begin with omg) but i haven't written creatively in ages and dlgjslgasdg

i still have memes from like over a year ago. so i might give some of those a whirl to get those juices flowinggggg~ even though the inbox is full, you're more than welcome to send more. i hoard them until you forget you've sent them and when the inspo hits, i love to surprise yous hehehe.

anyway! much love! love you all so much. i hope in 2025 i will be more consistent. anyway, i've been saying that for years and it hasn't happened. but i just wanted you to know that this is me trying <3 at least i'm trying!

hope you're all doing well! much love to you all xxxx

[fcb-mv33]

The way Jonathan looks over at Christian, both with proud smiles as if to say “look at our baby boy”💞

The video which did not upload🙄

[number1jaymerrickhater]

Is anyone else sad about Entry #76? Anyone else sad about the way that Alex apologized to Jessica before he tried to shoot her? Anyone else crying about how he spent the entire time telling her that it was going to be ok, he was going to explain everything once they got out of there? Anyone else feel physically ill about how even though Alex was going to kill Jessica and it didn’t matter at that point he still warned her to be careful on the rocks? Anyone else sobbing at how Alex made Jessica go on ahead of him, so she wouldn’t know what was coming until it was too late? Anyone else emotionally devastated thinking about how Alex looked away right before he was going to shoot her?

The more I think about Entry #76 the sadder I get.

[shannonsketches]

something something foils moving in opposite directions Goku's always happy to seek and fight stronger opponents because he spent most of his life being the strongest guy in the room and Vegeta wants to be the strongest/is always exhausted to find stronger opponents because he spent most of his life having to navigate his survival around the whims of the strongest guy in the universe room and so Goku has a foundation of safety and stability and so spends his time craving challenge and adventure and Vegeta has a foundation of challenge and adventure and spends his time craving safety and stability and the overlaid section of their venn diagram is that the only way they know how acquire and maintain those things is through battle

[melancholyghoul]

G.I.N.A.S.F.S by Fall Out Boy has been my favourite song for YEARS. It's so cute and gay and romantic, and i had a realisation while listening to it when walking my dog that it is SO BUDDIE CODED. It's such a good song for them, I need to write a fic about it.

In the meantime, I was going to write down the lyrics that I thought fit them, but i was practically writing the whole song so.... just listen !!

[I like to imagine it's from Eddie's POV]

[huntedspy2]

in a perfect world there would be more autistic4autistic sniperspy fics

[f1extras]

What if Lando is just an impatient little sh*t and he's just in bed waiting for Carlos who is updating his socials, and that's why he commented VAMOS CARLOOOOOOS half on Twitter half on Insta just a bare minute after he posted on each site, so Carlos comes back to cuddle him asap?

[mors-hades]

I love how for so many people tumblr is considered a dead website, literally a graveyard but for those of us still active on this hellsite it’s the only constant social media platform we’ve got left. we're literally trapped but at least we're not addicted to twitter lmao

[theblackbuffy]

don't even get me started on how deep the lore is pt. ii

find pt.i here

[apricusapollo]

quotes from frankenstein by mary shelley that remind me of theo raeken:

It is even possible that the train of my ideas would never have received the fatal impulse that led to my ruin. 

It was a strong effort of the spirit of good, but it was ineffectual. Destiny was too potent, and her immutable laws had decreed my utter and terrible destruction. 

It is so long before the mind can persuade itself that she whom we saw every day and whose very existence appeared a part of our own can have departed for ever – that the brightness of a beloved eye can have been extinguished and the sound of a voice so familiar and dear to the ear can be hushed, never more to be heard. 

I was required to exchange chimeras of boundless grandeur for realities of little worth.

My attention was fixed upon every object the most insupportable to the delicacy of the human feelings.

The different accidents of life are not so changeable as the feelings of human nature.

But now that I had finished, the beauty of the dream vanished, and breathless horror and disgust filled my heart.  

Dreams that had been my food and pleasant rest for so long a space were now become a hell to me; and the change was so rapid, the overthrow so complete! 

I felt suddenly, and for the first time during many months, calm and serene joy. 

How sincerely you did love me, and endeavour to elevate my mind until it was on a level with your own. A selfish pursuit had cramped and narrowed me, until your gentleness and affection warmed and opened my senses. 

The picture appeared a vast and dim scene of evil, and I foresaw obscurely that I was destined to become the most wretched of human beings!

She also was a girl of merit and possessed qualities which promised to render her life happy; now all was to be obliterated in an ignominious grave, and I the cause!

He threatened and menaced, until I almost began to think that I was the monster that he said I was. 

I had none to support me; all looked on me as a wretched doomed to ignominy and perdition.

Anguish and despair had penetrated into the core of my heart; I bore a hell within me which nothing could extinguish.

Nothing is more painful to the human mind than, after the feelings have been worked up by a quick succession of events, the dead calmness of inaction and certainty which follows and deprives the soul both of hope and fear.

I wandered like an evil spirit, for I had committed deeds of mischief beyond description horrible, and more, much more was yet behind.

Instead of that serenity of conscience which allowed me to look back upon the past with self-satisfaction, and from thence to gather promise of new hopes, I was seized by remorse and the sense of guilt, which hurried me away to a hell of intense tortures such as no language can describe. 

All sound of joy or complacency was torture to me; solitude was my only consolation – deep, dark, deathlike solitude.

Often, I say, I was tempted to plunge into the silent lake, that the waters might close over me and my calamities for ever. 

Remorse extinguished every hope. I had been the author of unalterable evils.

Banish those dark passions. Remember the friends around you, who centre all their hopes in you. 

Thus not the tenderness of friendship, nor the beauty of earth, nor of heaven, could redeem my soul from woe; the very accents of love were ineffectual. I was encompassed by a cloud which no beneficial influence could penetrate.

All men hate the wretched; how, then, must I be hated, who am miserable beyond all living things! 

Have I not suffered enough, that you seek to increase my misery? Life, although it may only be an accumulation of anguish, is dear to me, and I will defend it.

I ought to be thy Adam, but I am rather the fallen angel, whom thou drivest from joy for no misdeed. 

I was benevolent and good; misery made me a fiend.

Believe me, I was benevolent; my soul glowed with love and humanity; but am I not alone, miserably alone? You, my creator, abhor me; what hope can I gather from your fellow creatures, who owe me nothing? They spurn and hate me.

Shall I not then hate them who abhor me? I will keep no term with my enemies. I am miserable, and they shall share my wretchedness. 

Listen to my tale; when you have heard that, abandon or commiserate me, as you shall judge that I deserve. But hear me.

If such lovely creatures were miserable, it was less strange that I, an imperfect and solitary being, should be wretched. 

Was I, then, a monster, a blot upon the earth, from which all men fled and whom all men disowned?

I learned that there was but one means to overcome the sensation of pain, and that was death – a state which I feared yet did not understand. 

Who was I? What was I? Whence did I come? What was my destination? These questions continually recurred, but I was unable to solve them.

Satan had his companions, fellow devils, to admire and encourage him, but I am solitary and abhorred.

They did not appear rich, but they were contented and happy; their feelings were serene and peaceful, while mine became every day more tumultuous. 

I was alone. I remembered Adam’s supplication to his Creator. But where was mine? He had abandoned me, and in the bitterness of my heart I cursed him. 

I required kindness and sympathy; but I did not believe myself utterly unworthy of it.

I am an unfortunate and deserted creature, I look around and I have no relation or friend upon earth.

Cursed, cursed creator! Why did I live? Why, in that instant, did I not extinguish the spark of existence which you had so wantonly bestowed? 

My feelings are those of rage and revenge

There was none among the myriads of men that existed who would pity or assist me; and should I feel kindness towards my enemies? No; from that moment I declared everlasting war against the species, and more than all, against him who had formed me and sent me forth to this insupportable misery. 

For the first time the feelings of revenge and hatred filled my bosom, and I did not strive to control them, but allowing myself to be borne away by the stream, I bent my mind towards injury and death.

I felt emotions of gentleness and pleasure, that had long appeared dead, revive within me. Half surprised by the novelty of these sensations, I allowed myself to be borne away by them, and forgetting my solitude and deformity, dared to be happy.

The feelings of kindness and gentleness which I had entertained but a few moments before gave place to hellish rage and gnashing of teeth. Inflamed by pain, I vowed eternal hatred and vengeance to all mankind. 

My daily vows rose for revenge – a deep and deadly revenge, such as would alone compensate for the outrages and anguish I had endured.

I too can create desolation; my enemy is not invulnerable; this death will carry despair to him, and a thousand other miseries shall torment and destroy him

I am malicious because I am miserable. Am I noy shunned and hated by all mankind? You, my creator, would tear me to pieces and triumph; remember that, and tell me why I should pity man more than he pities me?

I will revenge my injuries; if I cannot inspire love, I will cause fear. 

I will work at your destruction, nor finish until I desolate your heart, so that you shall curse the hour of your birth. 

You will return and again seek their kindness, and you will meet with their detestation; your evil passions will be renewed. 

I felt then that I should survive the exhibit what I shall soon cease to be – a miserable spectacle of wrecked humanity, pitiable to others and intolerable to myself.

For an instant I dared to shake off my chains and look around me with a free and lofty spirit, but the iron had eaten into my flesh, and I sank again, trembling and hopeless, into my miserable self. 

I had feelings of affection, and they were requited by detestation and scorn. 

I will watch with the wiliness of a snake, that I may sting with its venom.

How mutable are our feelings, and how strange is that clinging love we have of life even in the excess of misery!

Why did I not die? More miserable than man ever was before, why did I not sink into forgetfulness and rest?

Who could be interested in the fate of a murderer but the hangman who would gain his fee?

I was overcome by gloom and misery and often reflected I had better seek death than desire to remain in a world which to me was replete with wretchedness. 

Little happiness remains for us on earth, yet all that I may one day enjoy is centred in you.

Memory brought madness with it,  and when I thought of what had passed, a real insanity possessed me; sometimes I was furious and burnt with rage, sometimes low and despondent. 

They were dead, and I lived.

My life, as it passed thus, was indeed hateful to me.

His soul is as hellish as his form, full of treachery and fiendlike malice.

The only joy that he can now know will be when he composes his shattered spirit to peace and death. Yet he enjoys one comfort, the offspring of solitude and delirium. 

When younger I believed myself destined for great enterprise.

I am chained in an eternal hell.

If you had known me as I once was, you would not recognise me in this state of degradation. 

I have longed for a friend; I have sought one who would sympathise with and love me

The companions of our childhood always possess a certain power over our minds which hardly any later friend can obtain. 

What does it avail that I now ask thee to pardon me? I, who irretrievably destoyed thee by destroying all thou lovedst. 

A frightful selfishness hurried me on, while my heart was poisoned with remorse.

I knew that I was preparing for myself a deadly torture, but I was the slave, not the master, of an impulse which I detested yet could not disobey.

It is well that you come here to whine over the desolation that you have made. You throw a torch into a pile of buildings, and when they are consumed, you sit among the ruins and lament the fall.

It is not pity that you feel; you lament only because the victim of your malignity is withdrawn from your power.

But now that virtue has become to me a shadow, and that happiness and affection are turned into bitter and loathing despair, in what should I seek for sympathy? I am content to suffer alone while my sufferings shall endure.

I was nourished with high thoughts of honour and devotion. But now crime has degraded me beneath the meanest animal.

When I run over the frightful catalogue of my sins, I cannot believe that I am the same creature whose thoughts were once filled with sublime and transcendent visions of the beauty and the majesty of goodness.

The fallen angel becomes a malignant devil. Yet even that enemy of God and man had friends and associates in his desolation; I am alone.

For while I destroyed his hopes, I did not satisfy my own desires.

Am I to be thought the only criminal, when all humankind sinned against me?

I, the miserable and the abandoned, am an abortion, to be spurned at, and kicked, and trampled on.

But it is true that I am a wretch. I have murdered the lovely and the helpless; I have strangled the innocent as they slept and grasped to death his throat who never injured me or any other living thing.

You hate me, but your abhorrence cannot equal that with which I regard myself. 

I shall no longer feel the agonies which now consume me or be the prey of feelings unsatisfied, yet unquenched.

I shall no longer see the sun or stars or feel the winds play on my cheeks. Light, feeling, and sense will pass away; and in this condition must I find my happiness.

Polluted by crimes and torn by the bitterest remorse, where can I find rest but in death?

Blasted as thou wert, my agony was still superior to thine, for the bitter sting of remorse will not cease to rankle in my wounds until death shall close them for ever.

I shall die, and what I now feel be no longer felt. Soon these burning miseries will be extinct. I shall ascend my funeral pile triumphantly and exult in the agony of the torturing flames.

[cannibalovers]

since some ppl did say yes, buckle up for a VERY long analysis because this song and "want" + a few others are some of my ultimate hannibal songs.

Hannibal song of the day: song no.1

a bit about the song:

"Missing Piece" (released in 1997) is a song by Recoil, a music project by Alan Wilder (former member of Depeche Mode, a group which I absolutely love and have a lot of their songs in my playlist). The song was written and sang as a duo by Alan Wilder and Siobhan Lynch. It's a moody and dark electronica song with jazzy elements and even a violin solo In short, the song is about self discovery and enlightement that a relationship has brought to the narrator, who has felt alone and misunderstood their whole life until they met the person who was their "missing piece". It explores the complex emotions and realisations that arose from the relationship(whether the relationship ended or not isn't really implied, at least in my eyes, although for my view on the song when it comes to hannibal, i think it might have).

now, i think from that it's already clear enough that I'm thinking about hannigram for this. I mean c'mon, a narrator that felt misunderstood and has been afraid to fully opening up to anybody, because of it's risks, even though they have so much love to give. That's literally Hannibal.

Although I feel like the narrator can also be Will but with how open and desparate the narrator seems, I keep thinking of Hannibal.

------------------------------

Verse 1

"I wanna write myself

On the walls of your heart

Because the knot that holds us

Altogether throws us all apart

I'm gonna stop myself

Before I say something true

Because the answers

That roll from my tongue

Are nothing to do with you"

Hannibal loves to impact people (literally manipulates them), even though it doesn't last (usually).

Through the show, we can see just how many people he actually changed, changing their mindsets, convincing them to murder etc. that's more leaving an impact on their brain, but with Will, he's different. He indeed does change his mindset but he also really tries to get a place in Will's heart and get his attention because, as he confessed to Bedelia, Will intrigues him. I think the lyrics of the narrator wanting to write themselves on the walls of somebody's heart and leave an impact on them is just so incredibly hannibal.

But again, those people don't last usually, they usually end up dead, be it as Hannibal's dinner or something else. He knows this danger, and he knows this complicated knot of manipulation and lies he tied himself and Will with will most likely break off at some point, which he slowly comes to realise he doesn't want it to happen. (and then fucking mizumono happens)

In the song, the narrator hides the truth, most likely because of the fear of rejection, fearing the person doesn't feel the same, or because of the fear of losing the person. In season 2, his decision was to continue lying, not confessing the truth of his plan to Will, in my eyes to try and secure him in his hold, get his trust and love, see if Will would truly understand him and accept him for who he is - so, he stops himself from telling Will the truth, pretending his plan, his answers have nothing to do with his love for Will, but instead pretend that his plan is to destroy Will's life, leaving out the part where he's hoping Will would want to try and rebuild his life with Hannibal.

------------------------------

Chorus

"(And) I hold a piece up to the light

Hold a piece up to my eye

Found a missing piece from my set

Found a person I'd not met (x2)

Sometimes is a lonely place (x5)"

self explanatory. There's so little to say, because the lyrics describe it so well, yet at the same time there's SO much to say.

The chorus is sung as a duo, both the narrator and the narrator's person. They both feel like they're the same and are each other's missing pieces, harmonising together.

I truly thing the best way to describe hannigram's relationship is by saying that they're each other's missing pieces. Hannibal seems to be a well-organized set of his pieces that make up him as well as a set of other people that he manipulated kind of as a list (maybe some as trophies). He's so composed, he's sure of his values and knows who he is, he's fully in control yet still felt incomplete, so he has spent his whole life finding that last missing piece (perhaps another meaning for missing, maybe he already had one and lost it, the missing piece being his sister........ ouch, although can't give much thought to this cuz haven't seen season 3 yet), a person who will be just like him and will complete him, not judge him, see him, accept him and be with him. That piece is Will.

He holds him up to the light, analyses him, studies him, gets to know him to determine if he is indeed the missing piece (in the show, he does his usual tactic of manipulating with the intention of making him his dinner but the more he got to know him, the more intrigued he got and saw a possibility of Will understanding him), and he indeed is his missing piece.

The fact that the narrator's person only sings during the chorus makes me think of how Hannibal made Will realise that he is Hannibal's missing piece and that although Will didn't really want it to be true, Hannibal helped him realise that Hannibal is Will's missing piece too - That's why I see the narrator as Hannibal and narrator's person as Will. He seems to be the second to realise this and accept this.

"Sometimes is a lonely place" is straightforward, I think. The two literally admit and show that they feel alone without each other, they have never felt so true to themselves as they feel when they're together, a room or a moment in life without one another is empty, a period without each other is a period they feel the most lonely.

------------------------------

Verse 2

"So tow me over to the light

The sound, the sound it is in sight

Found my heart was contained within a cell

Found my heart in this tuck-a-way-me world"

ngl, verse 2 and chorus are quite similar in meaning to me. Maybe it's more so Hannibal letting Will study him as well and get to know him, letting Will tow him over to the light (let Will inside his mind). I feel like the lyrics about the narrator's heart being contained in a cell is maybe Hannibal becoming more and more aware of how restrictive he was with his emotions, how his human suit made him lock away his real heart and after many tries of trying to find the right key, Will finally found it and unlocked Hannibal's true self to the world. Overall, I feel like Hannibal feels the world is very restrictive for his type of people but he has found a way to live with it and accept it, although the desire to find a person like him never disappeared

------------------------------

Coda

"Sometimes I held the missing piece

I held the missing piece

I held sometimes

I held the missing piece

I held..."

the end seems very lamentful to me. Sorry but it reminds me of mizumono

the end is overall so beautiful, I love how dark, slow yet jazzy and classy the song sounds, the coda just sounds like absolute heaven to me and its instrumental reminds me of the show overall so so much

but anyhow, the lyrics getting repeated, the moody, whiny tone the narrator sings it in combined with the reverb and minor key just immediately makes me think that the narrator lost their missing piece, reminiscing the times they had with them. Because of that, I immediately think of Mizumono and how distraught Hannibal was when he realised that Will betrayed him, letting Will see him just for Will to try and get him killed, even though he had a plan of giving back Will everything that he lost and everything that was precious to him. The whole song sounding quite blurry makes me think of how much emptiness Hannibal probably felt after the events in mizumono, how much of a blur everything was to him.

in conclusion, the song is literally so hannibal lecter coded to me

------------------------------

additional notes: i already mentioned this song on my previous blog actually, together with "want" cuz together theyre AMAZING, i see want more from Wills perspective, i'll do that one tmr

could be lacking a little bit cuz i havent seen season 3 yet, maybe after it ill have some more thoughts but wont add them, i leave it at that

------------------------------

my playlist

to anybody who read this, thank you and hope you enjoyed my rant<3

[stripedchickens]

How Thomas Sanders, Sanders Sides shaped who I am today. In this essay I will-