#I could live in chapter 43 fluff forever | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mcrdvcks · 8 days ago

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i love you, in every time ࿐‧₊ 1943 - wounds and whispers

chapter summary: After an attack on the battlefield, Logan wakes up to you as his nurse in Italy during World War 2.

word count: 8.8k+

pairing: Logan Howlett x fem!reader

notes: this one is short, and the ending is a bit abrupt, but i kind of wanted it to be that way- war is unpredictable. also, the ending is a tad bit different from the other endings, you'll see when you read! anyways, next chapter is when things get a little bit more interesting...

warnings/tags: mentions of injuries, fluff, angst, war, character death(s)

series masterlist - chapter 3 → chapter 5

A mere 43 years later and Logan was already in his second war since you died that last time. Part of him almost wished that he could die, maybe then he’d see you and get to hold you forever. But that just wasn’t in the cards for him; not when he had this healing, not when he was already 111 years old.

Logan's mind was swimming in a fog of pain as consciousness crept back in. The last thing he remembered was the deafening blast of gunfire and the sharp, searing pain that tore through his side as he charged forward in the midst of the chaos. War was hell, and he’d been through more than enough of them to know that. But this—this felt different.

His eyes fluttered open, the bright lights overhead blinding him for a moment as he groaned, trying to push himself up. His muscles screamed in protest, his entire body feeling like it had been torn apart and put back together again.

“Easy there, soldier.”

The voice was soft but firm, and it froze him in place. Logan’s heart skipped a beat, recognition flooding through him even though he knew it wasn’t possible. His vision focused, and then he saw you. Standing right over him, your face illuminated by the dim lights of the field hospital.

It was you.

Logan’s breath hitched, his mind spinning. He’d seen you die—he’d held you in his arms not long before everything faded. The memory of that night, the pain in your eyes, the blood pooling beneath you—it was burned into him. He’d lost you again. But now here you were, alive, standing in front of him like nothing had ever happened.

His throat tightened, but he forced himself to speak. “Y/N?” You probably didn’t hear him, given the quiet tone of his voice.

You smiled softly, stepping closer to him, your hands working with practiced care to check his wounds. “You’re lucky, you know,” you said, ignoring the way he looked at you, as if he'd seen a ghost. “The shrapnel didn’t hit anything vital. You’ll live.”

Logan swallowed hard, his eyes never leaving yours. He felt a pull, the same pull he’d felt every time he met you in a different life. But this time, it hurt even more. Because this was the first time he’d seen you since the last time you died, and now, here you were, again, as if the universe had decided to toy with him once more.

“Y/N…” he whispered again, his voice rough with emotion.

You glanced at him, your brows knitting together in confusion. “How do you know my name?”

Logan hesitated, his heart pounding. He couldn’t tell you—not yet. Not about the lives you’d lived before, not about the times he’d watched you die. He had to keep it together. You didn’t remember him, and that was both a blessing and a curse.

He cleared his throat, managing a tight smile. “Lucky guess,” he said, his voice strained, trying to mask the tidal wave of emotion crashing through him.

You gave him a curious look but didn’t press further. “Well, lucky or not, you should be more careful out there,” you said, turning your attention back to bandaging him up. “You’re not invincible, even if you act like it.”

Logan nearly chuckled at that. If only you knew. But instead, he gritted his teeth as you finished patching him up. The pain from the wound was nothing compared to the ache in his chest. He’d spent so many lifetimes with you, always losing you too soon. Always feeling like there wasn’t enough time.

And now, here you were again, standing so close to him, your hands gentle as you worked. He clenched his jaw, his mind racing with memories of you—of your smile, your laugh, the way you’d always found him, no matter the time or place.

But this wasn’t the past. This was 1943, and you didn’t know him. He had to play it cool, keep his distance, even though every instinct in him was screaming to reach out and hold you, to make sure you didn’t slip away again.

“Thanks,” he muttered, trying to keep his voice steady.

You gave him a small nod, satisfied with your work. “Well, you’re still not cleared to leave yet, so you’re not gonna get away from me that easily.” You grabbed a small flashlight from your pocket and leaned in a little closer, shining it into his eyes to check his pupils.

Logan grunted, feeling the warmth of your proximity. It was almost unbearable how familiar you felt, even though you didn’t know him—at least not in this lifetime. His eyes followed your movements, the way you focused on him like he was just another soldier you had to patch up. But to him, you were everything.

“You know,” you started, your voice calm but a little teasing, “you really shouldn’t be throwing yourself into the line of fire like that. Kinda hard for us to patch you up if you don’t have any parts left.”

Logan gave a low chuckle, though his heart wasn’t in it. “I’ll heal,” he muttered, more to himself than to you. His voice was rougher than usual, like the words were struggling to get past the weight of seeing you again, alive and breathing.

You raised an eyebrow at him. “Heal, huh? Well, you’re not invincible, soldier. Trust me, I’ve seen men think they’re untouchable, and they don’t last long in a place like this.”

Logan looked away, trying to focus on anything other than the sound of your voice. He didn’t want to make this harder on himself than it already was. “Guess I’ll just have to be more careful, then.”

You chuckled softly, finishing your check-up and tucking the flashlight back into your pocket. “Yeah, you do that.” There was a hint of amusement in your tone, but you were still clearly all business. “Now,” you looked at a clipboard in your hands, “James, you have a different name you’d like to go by?”

Logan grunted, his gaze fixed on you. The name ‘James’ felt foreign now, like a remnant of a past he didn't quite belong to anymore. His eyes flickered to the clipboard, then back to your face. The memories of every life you'd lived flashed through his mind, each one ending the same way, with you slipping away from him.

“Logan,” he said, his voice a bit rougher than he intended.

You looked up, scribbling something down. “Logan, huh?” You nodded, writing it down. “Suits you better than James… I think.”

Logan gave a small grunt, a mix of acknowledgment and the emotions he was keeping buried. He couldn’t tell you how much it hurt hearing you say his name, knowing you didn’t remember him at all. Every time he heard your voice, it was like a punch to the gut—a reminder that no matter how many times you came back, he was always starting over, and you… you were always slipping away.

“Glad you approve,” Logan muttered, his eyes drifting away from you. He was trying hard not to stare, trying not to let the overwhelming rush of memories take over. You looked the same, almost exactly as you had the last time—before George pulled that damn trigger.

You didn’t seem to notice the tension radiating from him, too focused on the task at hand. “Well, Logan,” you said, setting the clipboard aside. “You’ll need to stay here for observation, at least for the night. Make sure your body’s handling the recovery properly. We’ve seen some soldiers who think they’re fine, and then—” You made a gesture, mimicking someone fainting, a half-smile tugging at your lips.

Logan’s eyes flicked to the floor, suppressing the mix of emotions threatening to boil over. That small smile—the one you always had, no matter how many lives you lived—was painfully familiar. Each time, the same softness, the same warmth. But this time, it cut deeper because he knew how this would end. You’d be gone. Again.

“You’re real good at this, aren’t ya?” Logan said, his voice low, trying to sound casual despite the weight of everything between you two, or at least, everything he carried alone.

You shrugged, your smile widening just a little. “I’ve had a lot of practice lately. War isn’t exactly kind to anyone.” Your eyes softened for a moment, like you were remembering someone, but you shook it off, standing straighter. “But, yeah. It’s what I do.”

Logan’s jaw tightened as he fought the urge to tell you everything, to scream at the universe for pulling you into his life only to tear you away. But he couldn’t. Not this time. He had to play along, had to act like this was the first time he’d ever met you.

He nodded, letting out a deep breath. “Guess we’re both used to it, then. War and all.”

You glanced at him, curiosity flickering in your eyes. “Yeah?” There was a pause as you sat down on the edge of the bed next to him. “You seem… different from the other soldiers I’ve patched up. Seen a lot, huh?”

Logan leaned back slightly, his hand brushing against the place where the ring still rested in his pocket. He hadn’t taken it out in years. “More than you’d believe.”

There was a quiet moment between you, your gaze lingering on him as if trying to figure him out. “Well,” you said, breaking the silence, “let’s hope you don’t add anything else to that list while you’re here.”

Logan couldn’t help the bitter chuckle that escaped his throat. If only you knew what was on that list already. If only he could tell you how many times he’d seen you die, how many times he’d watched your life slip through his fingers. But instead, he just nodded again.

“I’ll try,” he muttered, though the words felt hollow.

As you stood up, preparing to check on the next patient, you paused, glancing back at him. There was something in your eyes, something almost familiar. But then, you smiled again—kind, unaware of the history Logan held with you—and walked away, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

Logan exhaled slowly, the ache in his chest growing heavier. He had to stay strong, had to keep his distance. But deep down, he knew he was already caught, already tangled in the same painful cycle.

He slipped his hand into his pocket, fingers brushing against the smooth surface of the engagement ring he’d never had the chance to give you.

Maybe this time, he thought. Maybe this time, you’d survive.

But Logan knew better than to hope.

---

You checked in with one of the doctors when Sandra, your friend and fellow nurse, put a hand on your shoulder and turned you to face her.

“Does he have a nice voice?”

You snorted, shaking your head at Sandra. "A nice voice? That’s what you want to ask?”

Sandra grinned, unbothered by your sarcasm. “Well, I saw the way you were looking at him. Thought maybe he had some mysterious, deep, soldier-thing going on.”

Rolling your eyes, you grabbed a clipboard from the nearby desk. “He’s just a patient, Sandra.”

“Uh-huh, sure.” Sandra leaned in, lowering her voice. “You didn’t exactly hurry out of that room.”

You shot her a look. “I was doing my job.”

“Mmhmm,” she hummed, clearly not buying it. “So... does he?”

You sighed, unable to stop a small smile from creeping onto your face. “Yeah, okay. Maybe a little. He’s got that gruff, low thing going on.”

“I knew it!” Sandra nudged your shoulder, her expression smug. “You’re into the mysterious types.”

“Oh, come on,” you muttered, flipping through the papers on your clipboard, though none of it really held your focus. Your mind drifted back to Logan’s face—his eyes, the way he carried himself like the weight of the world rested on his shoulders. There was something about him, something that felt... familiar. But you brushed it off. That wasn’t possible.

“I’m not into anyone,” you said quickly, snapping back to reality. “Especially not a guy I’ve known for like five minutes.”

Sandra raised her hands in surrender, smirking. “Alright, alright. I’ll drop it.” But the teasing gleam in her eyes suggested she wasn’t done with the subject.

You gave her a half-hearted glare before heading off to check on another patient. But as much as you tried to focus, your thoughts kept drifting back to Logan. The way his voice had this gravelly edge to it, how it felt like he was holding something back every time he spoke. And then there was the way he looked at you—like he recognized you, like you were someone important.

But that couldn’t be right.

---

You came to check on Logan later that night before you’d head back to your quarters for some rest. The makeshift hospital was quieter now, just a few murmurs from patients in the distance. Your shift had been long, draining, but something about checking on Logan felt... different.

You pushed the door open, stepping into the dimly lit room. Logan was sitting up on the bed, his expression unreadable as he stared at the floor. His posture was tense, like he was carrying the weight of more than just a few injuries.

“How’re you feeling?” you asked softly, keeping your tone professional despite the strange pull you felt toward him.

Logan looked up at you, his eyes locking onto yours for a moment that seemed to stretch longer than it should. “Better. You know, thanks to you.”

You gave a small smile, stepping closer to the bed. “I’m just doing my job.”

“Yeah,” he muttered, his gaze drifting back to the floor. “Still, you’re good at it.”

There was that same heaviness in his voice, like he was holding back more than just gratitude. You couldn’t put your finger on it, but something about him felt... familiar. It was strange, like you knew him somehow, but you brushed the thought away.

“You should get some rest,” you said, checking the bandage on his side. Your fingertips lingered on the spot where the bloody wound had been earlier, but there was nothing—just smooth skin, as if it had never been there at all. Your brow furrowed, lips parting slightly in disbelief. You’d seen the gash when they’d brought him in, deep and ugly, impossible to heal so quickly.

Logan’s muscles tensed under your touch, and when you glanced at him, his expression was guarded, like he was bracing for something.

"That’s... impossible," you murmured, more to yourself than to him. "It was bad earlier. There should at least be... a scar."

Logan shrugged, trying to act indifferent, but the movement was stiff. "Guess I got lucky."

You pulled your hand back slowly, still frowning. “Lucky doesn’t cover it. I’ve never seen anyone heal like that.” You tilted your head, curiosity edging into your voice. “How?”

His jaw tightened. "It happens."

“That’s not much of an answer.” Your arms crossed over your chest, and the edge in your tone softened just a bit. “You’ve got to admit it’s... weird.”

Logan gave you a look, one that made you feel like he was sizing you up, trying to figure out how much he could say. Or maybe how little. "Weird, yeah," he muttered, voice low. "Not much I can do about it, though."

You knew a deflection when you heard one, but you let it go—for now. You weren’t sure why you felt compelled to trust him, but there was something in his eyes, in the way he spoke, that made it impossible not to.

Sitting down on the edge of his bed, you shook your head with a faint smile. "Well, however it happened, you’re lucky I didn’t call the doctors in to see this miracle." You gave him a teasing look. “You’d be their new favorite science project.”

A ghost of a grin tugged at the corner of Logan’s mouth, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. "Yeah, I’d rather avoid that."

For a moment, the two of you sat in silence. It should have been awkward, but it wasn’t. There was something strangely easy about being near him, like you’d known each other for years. You glanced at his hands—rough, calloused, like they’d seen more battles than you could imagine—and wondered just how much he’d been through.

"Why do I feel like there’s more to you than you’re letting on?" you asked softly.

Logan’s gaze flicked to yours, something unreadable in his expression. "You ever meet someone and feel like you’ve known ’em before?"

His words struck a nerve, sending a chill down your spine. You swallowed, the strange familiarity between you two suddenly harder to ignore. "Yeah... I guess I have."

Logan nodded, his gaze dropping to his hands. He rubbed his thumb against the curve of his knuckle—a nervous habit, maybe. Or just old memories surfacing.

"You should get some rest," you said quietly, almost reluctantly. It felt wrong to leave, like there was more to say, even if you didn’t know what.

"I’m not good at rest," Logan admitted, voice low.

You gave a soft laugh. "No one is these days."

As you stood up, Logan’s hand moved slightly—just enough that the tips of his fingers brushed yours, barely a touch but enough to make your heart skip. You looked down at him, surprised by how natural it felt, like you’d been standing this close to him a thousand times before.

For a moment, it seemed like Logan might say something—something important. His hand hovered near his pocket, where a small, heavy object pressed against the fabric. But then he stopped himself, his jaw clenching as if he’d changed his mind at the last second.

"Goodnight," you whispered, your voice softer than before.

Logan gave you a short nod, but his eyes followed you as you stepped away, like he was memorizing the moment—like it might slip away from him if he looked away for even a second.

---

The next morning, when you went to check on Logan, he was sitting on the edge of his bed, buttoning up his shirt over his white beater.

“Hey—wait.” You stepped in front of Logan, your hands instinctively finding his forearm as he finished buttoning his shirt. “You’re not cleared to leave yet.”

Logan’s eyes flicked to yours, and for a moment, something passed between you—like the echo of a memory, distant but familiar. He gave you a half-smile, the kind that looked more like a grimace, and kept working on the last button.

“Gotta go,” he muttered. “Don’t do well sittin’ still.”

You crossed your arms, not budging. “Doesn’t mean you get to walk out of here half-healed.”

His gaze darkened, jaw clenching as if biting back words. You could tell he didn’t like being told what to do, but there was something more in his expression—something haunted, buried beneath that tough exterior.

“You think I can’t handle it?” he asked, voice low, gravelly.

“It’s not about what you can handle.” Your eyes softened, a hint of frustration slipping through. “It’s about what’s smart. I’ve patched up enough soldiers to know that leavin’ too soon isn’t.”

Logan’s lips twitched, like he might argue, but then he stilled, studying you with a strange intensity. The weight of his stare made your breath hitch for a second, but you refused to back down.

“Stay,” you insisted. “At least for another day. Let the wound close properly.”

He exhaled sharply through his nose, like it was more trouble than it was worth to argue with you. “You always this stubborn?”

A smile tugged at your lips. “Yeah. Part of the charm.”

Logan huffed, a reluctant laugh buried somewhere in the sound. He leaned forward slightly, his knees brushing yours where you stood between his legs. The air felt heavier—charged with something neither of you could quite name.

“Y/N...” The way your name left his mouth was different. Familiar, almost reverent, like he was tasting the sound of it after a long time.

Your heart stuttered in your chest. “What?”

Logan’s hand drifted toward his pocket, hesitating just for a beat. He seemed to think better of it and instead leaned back, propping himself on his palms like he was trying to keep his distance.

“Nothing.” His tone was gruff, evasive, but you knew there was more he wasn’t saying.

You stayed where you were, close enough to feel the warmth of him. “You’re not really going to leave, are you?”

Logan’s lips pressed into a thin line. “Shouldn’t stick around too long.”

“Why not?”

He ran a hand through his dark hair, frustrated. “I just shouldn’t.”

The words hit you harder than you expected, like they carried the weight of something unsaid—something important. But before you could push further, Logan shifted on the bed, brushing past you as if putting space between you would make it easier.

“Look...” His voice softened just slightly, almost apologetic. “You shouldn’t worry about me. I’ve been through worse.”

You tilted your head, watching him carefully. “Maybe. But that doesn’t mean you have to go through this alone.”

Logan’s gaze flicked to yours, and for a moment, the walls he kept up seemed to crack, just a little. He looked at you like you were someone he wanted to hold onto, but couldn’t—like you’d slip through his fingers if he let himself get too close.

You leaned in just a bit, your voice barely above a whisper. “Let me help, Logan.”

The way his name fell from your lips sent a flicker of something through him—something dangerous, vulnerable, like it meant too much. His breath hitched, and for a second, you thought he might tell you whatever he was holding back.

But instead, he gave you a tight smile, one that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “You already have.”

It felt like the conversation was teetering on the edge of something, but neither of you were ready to tip it over just yet.

“You win,” he muttered finally, his tone rough but resigned. “I’ll stay... one more day.”

You grinned, victorious. “Good. I’ll hold you to that. Maybe I’ll even let ya accompany me to the mess tent for lunch.” You held up a finger, playful but firm. “But only if you’re good.”

Logan gave a soft huff, the closest thing to a laugh you’d gotten out of him all day. “You makin’ the rules now?”

“That’s right,” you said with a smirk. “I am the nurse, after all.”

He shook his head, amused despite himself. “Fair enough.”

You lingered a moment longer than necessary, and Logan didn’t move away. His hand twitched near his knee, like he was thinking about reaching for you. It wasn’t the kind of gesture that strangers made—it felt too familiar, too intimate, like muscle memory.

“See ya at lunch, then,” you murmured, trying to shake off the strange pull toward him.

Logan gave a small nod, but his gaze stayed on you as you turned toward the door. Just as you reached it, you glanced back over your shoulder.

“You better not sneak out while I’m gone,” you teased, though part of you wasn’t sure it was really a joke.

Logan’s lips quirked at the corner, but the look in his eyes was heavy, weighed down with something you couldn’t quite place. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

---

By the time lunch rolled around, you were half-expecting Logan to be gone—off on some stubborn mission to leave the hospital before you could stop him. But when you returned, there he was, sitting up on the bed and rolling the sleeves of his shirt to his forearms.

"Kept my end of the bargain," he said, giving you a crooked grin that was more shadow than smile.

“Guess that means you earned lunch.” You gestured toward the door, and Logan pushed himself off the bed with an ease that didn’t match the severity of the injury he'd arrived with. You gave him a skeptical glance but decided to let it slide—for now.

The two of you walked through the makeshift hospital in comfortable silence. You noticed how other soldiers gave him nods or muttered greetings in passing, even though none of them really knew him. Something about Logan just demanded respect—maybe it was the way he carried himself, or the way his eyes seemed to see right through you.

At the mess tent, you grabbed two metal trays, handing one to him. “Hope you’re not picky. The food’s... not exactly five-star.”

Logan smirked. “I’ve had worse.”

You sat together at a small table, away from the loudest group of soldiers. For a moment, it was almost peaceful, like the war outside didn’t exist. Logan picked at his food absently, and you couldn’t help but study him—how his hands moved, how his jaw clenched like he was always bracing for bad news.

“So... you’ve done this before?” you asked, breaking the quiet. “The soldier thing, I mean.”

Logan glanced at you, something flickering in his expression. “Yeah. A few times.”

A few times. The way he said it made it sound like more than just a couple of tours.

“Must’ve been rough,” you murmured, stirring your soup. “I can’t imagine coming back to it over and over.”

Logan’s gaze lingered on you, and for a second, you felt pinned under the weight of it. Like he knew something you didn’t. “You get used to it,” he muttered, but the sadness in his voice told a different story.

There was a beat of silence, and then you leaned forward slightly, your curiosity getting the better of you. “You ever... think about what you’d do, you know, if you weren’t here? If the war wasn’t happening?”

Logan stared at his tray, his jaw tightening like he was biting back something painful. “Yeah,” he said quietly. “Once or twice.”

The way he said it made your chest ache, and before you could stop yourself, you asked, “What would you do?”

Logan’s thumb brushed along the edge of his tray—a nervous habit, like he was weighing whether to tell you the truth. “There’s someone,” he said slowly. “Someone I thought about settlin’ down with... a long time ago.”

You blinked, surprised by the sudden vulnerability in his voice. “What happened?”

Logan looked away, his expression hardening like a door slamming shut. “Didn’t work out.”

It wasn’t the whole story—you could tell that much. But you didn’t push. There was something in the way he said it, like the loss was still raw, even if it had happened years ago.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, unsure why you felt the need to say it.

Logan gave a small shrug, like it didn’t matter. But you knew better. It did matter. It mattered a lot.

---

After lunch, the two of you lingered outside the tent, neither of you in a rush to return to the chaos inside. The sun was warm on your face, a rare moment of peace in a world that had been anything but peaceful lately.

“You’re not what I expected,” you said suddenly, glancing at Logan.

He raised an eyebrow. “What’d you expect?”

You shrugged, smiling. “I don’t know. Maybe someone more... closed off. But you’re not as much of a mystery as you think.”

Logan chuckled, but there was no humor in it. “You’d be surprised.”

You bit your lip, studying him. “You feel... familiar,” you admitted, the words slipping out before you could stop them. “Like we’ve met before.”

Logan went still, his expression unreadable. For a moment, you thought he might brush it off with some sarcastic comment. But instead, he looked at you with that same haunted expression you’d seen earlier—the one that made your chest tighten.

“Maybe we have,” he said quietly, almost to himself.

The words sent a strange chill down your spine. You stared at him, trying to piece together what he meant. But Logan didn’t offer any more answers. He just stood there, watching you like he was waiting for something.

Before you could ask, Sandra’s voice called from the distance, snapping you both out of the moment. “Y/N! Doctor’s looking for you.”

You sighed, giving Logan a small, reluctant smile. “Duty calls.”

Logan nodded, slipping his hands into his pockets. “Yeah. Better get to it.”

You hesitated for just a second longer, something inside you screaming that there was more to this—more to him. But instead, you gave him one last smile before turning away.

---

When Logan was alone again, he pulled the ring from his pocket, turning it over in his fingers. The weight of it was familiar, comforting in a way that only hurt more now.

He’d carried it through battles, through lifetimes, always hoping—maybe this time. But hope had a way of slipping through his fingers, just like you always did.

Logan clenched the ring in his fist, his jaw tightening. He knew better than to hope. He always did. But still... here you were.

For now, at least.

---

The next day you begrudgingly cleared Logan and showed him to where he would be staying before he got called away for another fight. It was a small quarters, shared with some of the other guys, but it was better than the hospital bed.

You should know. Sometimes you’ve taken power naps on those beds—when the hospital got too busy or you needed a break but couldn’t leave. They were uncomfortable as hell, but after long hours, you didn’t have much choice.

Logan tossed his bag on the bunk, eyeing the cramped quarters. It wasn’t much—just a room with a few cots and a flimsy curtain dividing it from the rest of the barracks—but he didn’t seem to care.

“You’ll be all right here,” you said, crossing your arms and leaning against the doorframe.

Logan smirked, glancing at the bed like it was just another obstacle in his way. “I’ve had worse.”

You gave him a sideways glance, shaking your head slightly. “Yeah, I’m starting to see a pattern with you.”

He chuckled, low and gravelly, the sound doing strange things to your heart. His presence was so... solid. Like he’d been through hell and back, yet here he was, standing in front of you like nothing could break him.

“Well, don’t get too comfortable,” you added with a smirk. “There’s always a chance you’ll end up back in the infirmary if you’re not careful.”

Logan raised an eyebrow, leaning back against the wall, his arms crossing over his chest in a way that made the muscles in his forearms flex under his rolled-up sleeves. “You worried about me, nurse?”

“Maybe I am,” you teased, keeping it light even though part of you was serious. “I don’t want to have to stitch you back up.”

He laughed again, softer this time, his gaze lingering on you for a moment longer than just casual. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll heal.”

The words hung between you, something unspoken settling in. There was always something deeper with Logan, like the surface of his words barely scratched at the things he carried underneath.

Before you could respond, a couple of soldiers passed by, giving Logan nods of acknowledgment as they went. You noticed the way they looked at him, like he was someone who’d earned their respect without even trying.

Logan pushed off the wall, moving past you toward the door. “Thanks for the room,” he said, glancing over his shoulder. “But I could use a drink.”

You laughed. “Well, good luck with that. This isn’t exactly the Ritz.”

He stopped just outside the door, turning back to you. His eyes were sharp, but there was something softer underneath. “You wanna join me?”

You paused, surprised by the offer. “Are you askin’ me out, Logan?”

His lips twitched into a half-smile. “Just tryin’ to be friendly.”

You let out a small huff of laughter, shaking your head as you grabbed your cap and followed him. “Fine. But if you’re looking for whiskey, you’re gonna be disappointed.”

The two of you walked in comfortable silence for a while, the sound of your boots crunching on the gravel road filling the air. The base had quieted down a bit as the sun dipped lower, the day easing into a calm that didn’t come often in a warzone.

As you walked, you couldn’t help but sneak a glance at Logan from time to time, trying to figure him out. He was so... different. From anyone you’d met. From any soldier you’d treated. And yet, he felt so familiar.

You found a small spot near one of the mess tents where a few crates had been stacked up like makeshift seats. Logan grabbed a canteen from his jacket, unscrewing the cap before taking a long drink. You raised an eyebrow at him.

“That better be water,” you joked, taking a seat beside him.

Logan handed you the canteen, smirking. “Try it and find out.”

You took a cautious sip, then immediately coughed, the burn of the alcohol catching you off guard. “God—what is this?”

“Something I picked up,” Logan said, eyes gleaming with amusement as you wiped your mouth. “Figured it’d help take the edge off.”

You gave him a playful glare, handing the canteen back. “Next time, a little warning, maybe?”

Logan shrugged, grinning. “Where’s the fun in that?”

You shook your head, smiling despite yourself. “You’re trouble, Logan.”

He chuckled, leaning back against the crate. “Been called worse.”

The two of you sat there in comfortable silence for a few moments, passing the canteen back and forth. The alcohol burned, but it wasn’t the worst thing you’d ever tasted—not by a long shot. And it did what Logan said it would—it took the edge off.

You studied him for a moment, the way he seemed to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders, even when he was sitting still. “You feel familiar,” you said quietly, your voice almost drowned out by the soft sounds of the base around you. “Like we’ve met before.”

Logan’s expression shifted—just for a second. His jaw tightened, his gaze flickering away from you and toward the horizon. “Maybe we have,” he murmured, his voice so low you almost didn’t catch it.

The words sent a strange, unexplainable shiver down your spine. You opened your mouth to ask him what he meant, but before you could, he stood up, stretching his arms over his head like he was shaking something off.

“C’mon,” he said, his voice lighter now, almost like he was forcing it. “You ready to head back?”

You blinked, still caught in the haze of the moment. But you nodded, standing up and brushing the dirt from your uniform. “Yeah, I guess so.”

The two of you walked back toward the barracks in silence, the air between you feeling heavier now. Something had shifted—something you couldn’t quite put your finger on. But you knew it wasn’t nothing.

When you reached the barracks, Logan stopped at the door, turning to look at you with an intensity that made your heart skip a beat.

“Y/N,” he started, his voice rougher than usual, like he was wrestling with something inside him. “If... if things ever get bad, you find me. Got it?”

You frowned, surprised by the seriousness in his tone. “Logan, what—”

“I’m serious,” he interrupted, his hazel eyes locking onto yours. “You find me. No matter what.”

You swallowed, nodding slowly. “Okay. I will.”

He held your gaze for a second longer, then nodded, like he was satisfied with your answer. “Good.”

Without another word, Logan turned and headed inside, leaving you standing there, the weight of his words settling over you like a heavy blanket.

What did he mean? Why did he look at you like he knew something you didn’t?

You lingered there for a moment before finally heading to your own quarters. But even as you lay in bed that night, staring up at the ceiling, Logan’s words echoed in your mind.

You find me. No matter what.

---

The next few days were a strange mix of routine and tension. Logan stayed around the base, mostly keeping to himself, but you found yourself crossing paths with him more often than you expected. Every time, there was that same intensity in his gaze, like he was watching you, waiting for something.

It wasn’t uncomfortable, exactly. But it did make your chest tighten every time you saw him.

One evening, as the sun began to set, you found yourself wandering toward the edge of the base, needing a moment to clear your head. The war, the patients, the constant pressure—it was all getting to you. And Logan... well, Logan wasn’t making things any easier.

You were so lost in your thoughts that you didn’t notice him until he spoke.

“Need some company?”

You jumped slightly, turning to find Logan leaning against a tree, arms crossed over his chest, a small smirk tugging at his lips.

“Jeez, you scared me,” you said, placing a hand over your heart.

“Didn’t mean to sneak up on you,” he said, pushing off the tree and walking over to stand beside you. “You looked like you could use some company.”

You sighed, glancing out at the fading sun. “Yeah, I guess I could.”

Logan didn’t say anything for a moment, just stood there beside you, his presence solid and reassuring. After a few beats of silence, he spoke.

“You doin’ all right?” he asked, his voice softer than usual.

You shrugged, trying to brush it off. “It’s just... a lot sometimes, you know?”

Logan nodded, his eyes never leaving your face. “Yeah. I get it.”

There was something in the way he said it—something that made you believe he really did get it. Like he knew exactly what it felt like to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders.

“Thanks for asking,” you said quietly, your gaze still focused on the horizon.

Logan was quiet for a long moment before he spoke again. “I meant what I said before,” he murmured. “You ever need anything... you come find me.”

You turned to look at him, the seriousness in his voice catching you off guard. “Logan... why are you doin’ this? Why are you looking out for me?”

Logan’s jaw tightened, and for a second, you thought he wasn’t going to answer. But then he spoke, his voice low and rough. “Because... you’re important. More than you know.”

The words hit you like a punch to the gut. Important? How? Why?

Before you could ask, Logan stepped closer, his eyes locked onto yours. “Just promise me,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “Promise me you’ll come find me if you need to.”

You nodded, your heart pounding in your chest. “I promise.”

Logan held your gaze for a moment longer, then nodded, satisfied. Without another word, he turned and walked away, leaving you standing there, your head spinning with questions.

You’re important. More than you know.

What did that mean? Why did Logan feel so... familiar?

As the sun dipped below the horizon, you stood there, your mind racing. Logan had secrets—secrets you weren’t sure you were ready to uncover. But one thing was clear: whatever was between the two of you, it wasn’t over. Not by a long shot.

---

On another day, you spotted Logan on the outskirts of base, sitting against a truck’s wheel with a notebook in hand.

He looked almost peaceful, maybe the most peaceful you’d ever seen him since he got here. Judging by the way he was moving his pencil, you assumed he was drawing something. You hesitated, not wanting to disturb him, but your curiosity got the better of you.

"Didn’t peg you for an artist," you said, walking over and leaning against the truck beside him.

Logan didn’t look up right away, just kept sketching, but there was a small smirk on his lips. "You learn a lot when you’ve got time," he muttered.

You glanced at the notebook, catching glimpses of rough lines and shadows. “What’re you drawing?”

He paused, almost like he wasn’t sure if he wanted to show you, then turned the notebook just enough for you to see. It was a sketch of the base—a surprisingly detailed one, with the buildings and surrounding trees, even some of the soldiers milling about.

“Not bad,” you said, genuinely impressed. “Didn’t know you had this in you.”

Logan shrugged, as if it was no big deal. “Like I said, a lot of time.” He looked at you then, and for a brief moment, there was something more behind his eyes, something deeper. “Keeps me grounded.”

You studied him, wondering what that really meant. Logan had always been a bit of a mystery, but there were moments—like now—where it felt like there was so much more to him than he let on.

“You ever thought about doing something with it? You know, beyond just sketches?” you asked, half teasing, half curious.

Logan let out a low chuckle, shaking his head. “I’m not the ‘show-off my art’ type. It’s just... for me.” He glanced back at the drawing, his expression softening in a way you didn’t often see. “Helps me forget.”

You nodded, feeling a tug at your chest. “Forget what?”

For a moment, he didn’t answer. Then he said, “Everything.”

The weight in his voice told you there was more to that statement—more than you could guess. You’d learned over the past few days that Logan was carrying his own kind of burden, just like you were. And yet, somehow, it felt like his was so much heavier.

“Must be a lot to forget,” you said softly.

Logan’s gaze flicked up to meet yours, and for a second, you thought he might actually open up. But instead, he just gave a noncommittal grunt and went back to his sketching.

You watched him for a while, feeling the comfortable silence settle between you. It was odd, but Logan’s presence had become... something you looked forward to. Even with all the unspoken tension, being around him made things feel a little less overwhelming.

“I never thanked you,” you said after a while, breaking the quiet. “For, you know... looking out for me.”

Logan’s pencil paused again, and he glanced up. “You don’t have to thank me.”

“I do,” you insisted, your eyes meeting his. “You didn’t have to. But you did.��

Logan shifted, looking slightly uncomfortable with the gratitude, but his eyes softened. “I told you. You’re important.”

That word again—important. You wanted to ask him why, wanted to press him on what he really meant by that, but something in his expression told you he wasn’t ready to answer. Not yet.

“Just… stay outta trouble,” Logan said, his voice dropping into something rougher, more serious. “I’d rather not have to pull you out of any more messes.”

You smiled, trying to keep things light. “I’ll do my best. But, you know, being a nurse in the middle of a war, trouble kinda finds me.”

Logan let out a soft huff of a laugh, though there wasn’t much humor in it. “Yeah, I guess it does.”

The sky was growing darker now, the last traces of sunlight fading. You knew you should probably head back to the barracks soon, but something kept you rooted to the spot, standing beside him. The air between you felt charged, like there was something unspoken hanging there, waiting to be acknowledged.

“Logan,” you began, your voice quiet but steady. “Why does it feel like you’ve been watching me? Not just looking out for me, but... like you’ve known me.”

Logan’s jaw tightened. His eyes shifted, as if he was deciding whether to answer that. You could feel your heart thudding in your chest, waiting for his response.

“I haven’t,” he said finally, though his voice lacked conviction. “Not in the way you’re thinking.”

The way he said it made you frown. “What does that mean?”

Logan’s gaze held yours, intense and searching. There was a flicker of something there—regret? Pain? Before you could figure it out, he looked away, his fingers tightening around the edges of the notebook.

“It means… I don’t want you to get hurt,” he said, his voice low, almost a growl. “Not again.”

Again. There it was—a crack in the wall he’d built around himself. But before you could push him on it, Logan stood abruptly, tucking the notebook under his arm.

“You should get some rest,” he muttered, not meeting your eyes. “Long day tomorrow.”

You blinked, caught off guard by his sudden shift. “Logan—”

But he was already walking away, his back stiff and his pace quick. You watched him go, your mind spinning with more questions than answers. Something was going on with Logan—something bigger than you’d realized.

And you had a feeling you weren’t going to let it go until you found out the truth.

---

The next morning you found out that Logan had already gone on some mission to Sicily. You weren’t sure why you felt sad, maybe a bit betrayed that he left without saying goodbye, but you did.

You had only known him for a few days, but somehow it seemed longer.

You couldn’t just stand around and dwell on Logan leaving without a goodbye. There was work to do. You made your way to the medical tent where a doctor had been prepping for a surgery. As you stepped inside, the familiar scent of antiseptic hit your nose, grounding you in the moment.

"Y/N, glad you’re here. We’ve got a soldier with a bullet wound to the abdomen," the doctor said, his tone brisk. "I need your hands steady and sharp today."

You nodded, pushing thoughts of Logan to the back of your mind. "Got it, Doctor."

The surgery went on for hours, the steady rhythm of your breathing matching the precise movements of your hands as you assisted. It was intense, but you had no time to be distracted. Life and death were real here, and your job was to fight for life.

When the surgery was finally over, the soldier stabilized, you stepped outside the tent to catch your breath. The sky was still overcast, and the damp air felt heavy. You leaned against a wooden post, your hands shaking slightly from the adrenaline.

Logan was gone, but the memory of him lingered. You couldn’t shake the feeling that he’d left something unsaid. There had been too many moments—too many heavy, unspoken words between you. You tried to brush it off. It had only been a few days since you’d met him, after all. But somehow, it felt like more.

"Y/N."

You looked up to see one of the other nurses approaching. "Yeah?"

"You’ve been requested to assist with another unit. They’re setting up a temporary hospital closer to the front lines. It’ll be rough, but they need experienced hands."

You hesitated. The front lines meant more danger, more chaos. But the soldier in you—the part that was here to help, to make a difference—knew you couldn’t say no.

"When do I leave?" you asked, straightening up.

"Tomorrow morning, first light."

You nodded, giving a small smile. "Thanks for the heads-up."

That night, you tried to sleep, but your mind kept wandering back to Logan. To his last words before he’d left—"I don’t want you to get hurt. Not again." What had he meant by ‘again’? It kept echoing in your mind, nagging at you.

---

The next morning came quickly, and before you knew it, you were being packed into a truck heading closer to the front lines. The landscape passed by in a blur, and the closer you got to the new camp, the louder the sounds of war became. Shells exploded in the distance, and the ground seemed to vibrate with tension.

You spent the next few days in a haze of blood, bandages, and exhaustion. There was barely any time to think, let alone dwell on Logan. But still, every once in a while, your thoughts drifted to him—wondering where he was, what he was doing. If he was safe.

It was late one night, a few days into your new assignment, when the unexpected happened. The sirens had started to blare, lights flashing around camp. That could only mean one thing- you were under attack. And judging by the loud engines overhead, none of you were going to make it out alive.

---

Logan had gone with other soldiers to Sicily for Operation Husky. He didn’t want to leave you, but part of him thought, hoped, that maybe he was your bad luck charm.

Logan stared at the coastline of Sicily, but his mind was elsewhere. The mission was straightforward—get in, clear the path for the troops, and secure the area. But no matter how focused he tried to stay, thoughts of you kept creeping back in. He wondered if you were safe. He hoped, for your sake, that you weren’t thinking about him as much as he was thinking about you.

It was torture, being away. But deep down, Logan believed it was better this way. Maybe him being around was what doomed you every time. You had died three times before, and each time, he had been there. Maybe this time, distance would keep you safe.

But that didn’t stop him from wanting you. The thought of your smile, your laughter, the way you challenged him—it made him ache with something deeper than just desire. It was like an old wound that never healed, no matter how fast the rest of him did.

One of the soldiers called his name, pulling him from his thoughts. “Logan, you with us, man?”

He grunted in response, nodding toward the others. “Yeah, I’m here.”

“Good,” the guy said. “We’re heading out.”

Logan followed, but his thoughts drifted again, back to you. He had promised himself he wouldn’t get attached this time. But it was too late for that. He’d been attached since 1854, since that first smile, that first laugh.

---

It was a few days before Logan made it back to base, one closer to the frontlines. The mission had gone as planned, but something gnawed at him, an uneasy feeling he couldn’t shake.

As soon as the base came into view, Logan noticed something was off. Smoke still lingered in the air, and there were fewer people around than there should’ve been. His gut twisted. Something had happened while he was gone.

He found one of the soldiers he recognized, grabbing him by the arm. “What happened here?”

The guy’s face darkened. “We were hit. Bombing raid. Caught us off guard. There... there weren’t many survivors.”

Logan’s heart dropped. “Where’s the hospital unit?”

The soldier hesitated, eyes flicking away from Logan’s intense gaze. “It was one of the first targets. No one made it out.”

Logan felt like the ground had dropped from under him. “What do you mean, no one?” His voice was a low growl, almost dangerous.

The soldier shook his head. “I’m sorry, man. They didn’t stand a chance.”

Logan’s hands clenched into fists at his sides. The world around him blurred as the words sank in. You were gone. Again.

Without saying another word, Logan turned and walked toward what was left of the hospital tent. He had to see it for himself, even though part of him knew it was true. There was nothing left but rubble and debris.

His chest tightened, the weight of it crushing. You were gone. And he hadn’t been there to stop it. Again.

Logan stood there for what felt like hours, staring at the wreckage. He felt that familiar, burning anger rising inside him, but it was mixed with something else this time—grief. Deep, raw grief. He wanted to scream, to punch something, anything, but all he could do was stand there, numb.

He reached into his pocket, fingers brushing against the small velvet box he always carried with him. The engagement ring. The one he had never used.

It had been almost ninety years since he bought it. And still, he carried it, hoping one day he might finally be able to give it to you. But every time, every life, you slipped through his fingers.

Logan swallowed hard, his throat tight. He wasn’t sure how much more of this he could take. How many more times he could lose you.

“Dammit,” he muttered under his breath, his voice rough with emotion.

He had thought putting distance between you two would protect you. But it didn’t matter. You were gone, just like the other times.

And now, once again, he was left with nothing but memories and that damned ring.

in this chapter logan is 111 years old and reader is around 24-27 years old.

#logan howlett x reader #logan howlett x you #wolverine x reader #wolverine x you #james howlett x reader #james howlett x you #logan howlett #logan howlett fanfiction #logan howlett x fem!reader #logan howlett fic #i love you in every time

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exquisiteserotonin · 1 year ago

Text

Footsteps to Follow

Part 3: Something Between Us

Series Summary: The loss of a loved one lasts forever and every person finds different ways to heal.

Pairing: Alice York x Foodtruck owner! Joel Miller

Warnings: MATURE, this chapter is mature simply for the use of expletives. As always this series is strictly for adults and will feature violence, sex, and other mature themes. If you are UNDER 18, please DNI. MDNI!!! AU Joel Miller where there is NO outbreak. Also there is roughly a 15 year gap between Joel (42-43) and Alice (27-ish)

Word Count: ~2.3K

A/N: My little Dave York adjacent universe/Alice York's Wonderland (TM) is growing. So much character and relationship building. This is part is pure romance and fluff, mixed in with the tiniest bit of angst. Thank you for everyone who is encouraging me on this series.

So much love to the Collective. 🧃💜

@youandmeand5bucks @magpiepills @pink-whiskey-woman @legendary-pink-dot @arcanefox207 @sparklefarts38 @redhotkitchen @imalrightllama

Taglist: @drewharrisonwriter

Also if you would like to be added to the taglist for updates on this one, please let me know!

The morning sun began to take her respite as the moon began to rise gloriously to the sky. The last beams of sun danced with each wave of the river, their lights shimmering against the dusky sky. City lights zoomed past Alice’s window, becoming colorful neon streamers as she drove. The muffled rumbling of her car’s engine along with the zooms and swooshes of the traffic were the soundtrack to the backdrop of the city skyline. In one place or another along the Eastern seaboard, people were winding down from long workdays, some sitting down to dinner alone, some with significant others, and some with families. Still others were coming alive, freed from the shackles of their 9 to 5 grind, indulging in conversation, drinks, and overnight rendezvous.

Alice was awake and alive by biological standards, well-rested enough from her “excursion” to France to confidently meet her duties at her “day job” as a nurse at one of the biggest hospitals in the city. As far as jobs were concerned, it was the perfect cover for her “contract” work. She was at the hospital less days than she was at home during the week. Her medical knowledge came in handy for any injuries she might suffer in the field. The sharp and painful memories where she had to stitch her own injuries were sparse but unforgettable. She had even worked out that in the unthinkable event she got stuck after finishing a job, she could easily pass herself as a passerby with first responder medical knowledge.

After arriving in the parking garage, Alice walked in through automatic sliding glass doors. Her sneakers squeaked against the clean, beige colored floors of the hospital. The bright lights, tall windows, and light-colored walls stood in contrast to the darkening sky. She made her way to the women’s locker room of her department, tossing her purse and backpack in her locker before making her way to the nurses’ station.

“Hey Alice,” greeted Joanna, a pretty, blonde co-worker with kind blue eyes. “How was your visit with your family?”

“It was…brief,” she answered, carefully choosing the word to describe her time with them.

“That bad, huh?” Joanna grimaced.

“Well, family isn’t always blood, is it?” Alice mused as she rubbed her thumb along the pen in her right-hand pocket. “Anyway, any interesting patients I should be on the lookout for?”

“Nothing terribly interesting,” Joanna replied, but her eyes quickly transformed and glimmered with excitement. “There’s one patient in 512 with a head injury from a bar fight; he’s kinda cute.”

“A head injury from a bar fight?” Alice asked, raising her left brow. “Sounds like a real winner.”

“Ok, Miss Judgey!” Joanna teased. “No wonder you’re single.”

“It’s a valid lifestyle choice,” she shrugged her shoulders with nonchalance. “I’m going to start my rounds.”

A lightness lived within Alice whenever she worked at the hospital. It carried her along to each patient in her care. It often perplexed her how she could so easily flip from one side of a coin to another. Trying to reconcile her violent acts with her duty to treat, save, and comfort patients, some who were even facing death, was a heavy process. The tight feeling of anxiety squeezed at her shoulders and chest, in response she took a few cooling and cleansing breaths in and out through her nose as she walked in and out of patient rooms.

Like her contract work, Alice never knew what one shift would be like from one day to the next. There were days that were more intense than others. Keeping a needle sized focus on treating her patients was the easy part. The sea of emotions that ebbed and flowed, sometimes crashing like in a storm, was the most challenging. There were days when patients wailed out in pain while family members cried, and still others took out their frustrations on her and the other nurses with anger, anxiety, and fear. And then there were the doctors and older nurses, who somehow believed that by mere virtue of their years of experience and so-called ‘seniority’ that they had the right to bark out orders and belittle her. Yet it was the quiet moments that filled her: the simple touch of a patient’s hand as she held it for as long as they needed, the desperate hug a family member fell into when they had no words for their despair or relief, or when she and her coworkers quite literally had to lean each other because the stress was just too much. Truthfully, she’d take this stress any day over her contract work.

Alice tucked her pocket-sized notebook back into the deep, front pocket of her wine-colored scrubs and moved onto the next room, 512. The patient folder was tucked safely into the wall-mounted box just outside the door. The patient’s name was clearly printed on a label on the outside of the file: Miller, T.

Alice read the notes inside his medical record, noting he had been transported to the hospital due to injuries from a bar fight. The scribbled, but legible notes indicated trauma to the head, ribs, and back. The inner monologue in her brain took note of things that she needed to look out for, but walked in with the knowledge that she needed to make sure that the patient was recovering well from his concussion.

The room was mostly dark as she stepped in save for the lights of the monitor her patient was connected to and a dim light behind the bed. Hearing some light snoring, she stepped quietly inside, calling to her new patient from the door.

“Mr. Miller?” she called, “Mr. Miller, are you awake?”

She stepped fully inside, looking behind her as she closed the heavy room door. As she turned around, she heard shuffling and noticed the barely illuminated form of someone in the reclining chair next to the bed. A family member, significant other, or friend she surmised.

“Hi, don’t mind me, Mr. Miller I’m just doing r—rounds and---” Alice’s voice vacillated when she saw a man turn towards her, “oh my goodness---Joel? It’s Joel, right?”

He stopped himself in his tracks, hands smoothing down the back of jeans. His eyes squinted at her in recognition while his mouth dropped open in pleasant surprise.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t expecting,” she stammered. “I’m Alice; do you remember---?”

“‘Course I remember you,” Joel nodded as he stepped towards her. “You’ve got that kinda face---sorta hard to forget.”

Alice looked up at him with half intrigue, half suspicion. She moved past him and quietly approached her patient’s bed, “I’m assuming this is your---”

“Brother,” he answered quickly, with a cough to clear his throat, “Tommy’s my brother.”

The temptation to focus on Joel dangled before her like bait hanging from a hook. Much like her activities in Paris, she dodged it deftly as she lightly pressed the pads of her fingers to Tommy’s wrist to count his pulse. On his face, his injuries weren’t so bad except for a black eye and a lumpy bruise on his forehead. She examined him with gentle touches, brushing a wisp of his black curls from his forehead. Reaching into her pocket, she pulled a temporal thermometer and held it just above the center of his forehead until it beeped.

“No fever,” she related to Joel. “That’s a good sign.”

She looked at the vitals on his health monitor, scribbling in her pocket notebook as Joel watched her intently from the other side of the bed. His hands gripped the handles of the bed so tightly that his knuckles turned white.

“How has he been?” Alice inquired, her voice remaining even and professional, leaving Joel noticeably flustered. “Is his head doing OK? Any lingering complaints about headaches or nausea?”

“Uh--um, no ma’am,” he continued politely, “so far, so good.”

“Obviously, concussion is our biggest concern,” she informed. “I was reading the notes, looks like the injury was from a fight?”

“Yeah---it wasn’t his fault, for a change,” he replied, a twinge of frustration rattling his voice. “Some guy took a swing at this waitress. Tommy, dumbass that he is, stepped in and got the worst of it: a punch, a chair to the head. Coulda been worse, somehow me and another fella were able to break it up.”

“It’s a good thing you were there,” Alice stated as she moved in closer to look at him through the stubble on his rugged and handsome face. “Somehow, you managed to get out relatively unscathed. I hope you don’t mind.”

Alice pointed to his cheek bone, and he nodded in acquiescence to her request. She stepped closer and brought the same gentle hand that had just touched his brother’s face to the bruise that colored the left side of his own. The touch she gave him was so soothing that Joel found himself instinctually closing his eyes. Through the quiet examination, she could hear the deep, constant inhales and exhales that came from him as he breathed. It reminded her of evening waves at the beach rolling in and receding. For a moment, their eyes were compelled to meet.

“Is he gonna be alright?” Joel asked as he opened his eyes, wide and almost pleading.

“It’s a good sign that he hasn’t complained much, and he has no fever,” she answered with an informative but comforting tone. “We just have to keep monitoring him, wake him up maybe every two hours to check on him.”

Joel placed his hands at his hips, breathing out a sigh composed of equal parts hope and fear. His eyes moved to his brother becoming glassy with the inevitable onset of tears. With a long deep inhale through his nose, he fought to stifle their arrival. Alice looked carefully into his eyes, sensing a sudden familiar feeling within her. His eyes glimmered with the familiar memory of loss. She walked towards the foot of the bed as she reached into her pocket to retrieve a tissue for him. As she handed it to him, her fingers brushed lightly against the palm of his hand in understanding.

“You’re a good brother, some of us aren’t so lucky.” Alice declared, looking up at him through her lashes. “I’m on this shift until the morning; so, if Tommy, or you, need anything just buzz me.”

“I really, really appreciate it, Alice,” he said with a deep and grateful nod.

She stood in front of him, her feet moving to the side a few centimeters as they both looked at each other in an awkward silence. It was the kind of silence where the words from two people fought to fill the space between them, instead they flitted around like two birds chasing each other. A low, rumbling groan filled the space where their words wouldn’t.

“I swear to God, Joel.”

It was Tommy, speaking with exhaustion roughing up his voice,

“If you don’t fucking ask this girl to go with you for a coffee during her break, I will personally kick yer ass.”

“Mr. Miller,” Alice smiled at his interjection nearly jumping as she parted from the closeness of Joel. “You’re awake! I’m Alice, one of the nurses. How are you feeling?”

“Well, his mouth ain’t broken that’s for sure,” Joel grumbled, but at a volume loud enough to hear.

“Don’t you listen to a thing he says about me, ma’am,” Tommy sighed, grogginess still overtaking him, “it’s all a lie.”

She met Joel’s eyes with a smile and then looked back at Tommy, letting the warmth of their banter fill the air.

“Is he always this charming?” Alice asked Joel, her laugh ringing out like a melody.

“Well, that’s a helluva way to put it,” Joel replied as he rubbed his forehead.

“This conversation is a good sign,” she affirmed with a comforting nod of her head, “Mr. Miller, I already told J---I mean, your brother, that if you need anything that you can buzz me.”

“Just give him your number so he can do that, all right?” Tommy added as a grin formed on his sleepy face.

Alice laughed with a scrunch of her nose as she tucked the blanket tightly at Tommy’s sides, looking back to see Joel rolling his eyes and crossing his arms over his chest. After ensuring Tommy had everything he needed, she quietly made her way towards the door, Joel following behind her. A polite, southern sort of thing to do, she assumed. He opened the door for her, both lingering for a moment.

“So, um, coffee---,” Joel started and then squeezed his eyes closed, “shit, I’m no good at this sorta thing.”

“Ethically, I really shouldn’t,” she spoke, almost laughing at the ridiculous juxtaposition this request posed against her life itself.

No distractions, no distractions, no distractions. She heard her own voice trying to remind her, to convince her to protect herself.

“Since your brother is a patient,” she added, “some people might say I have a conflicting interest.”

“Well, my brother ain’t asking you out,” he added with a charming smile revealing itself to her, “and technically we knew each other before this; that’s gotta count for something, don’t it?”

“Ok, well, there is that loophole,” Alice entertained his thoughts with her words.

With a tenderhearted sigh, Alice reached into her pocket for her notebook and opened it to a blank page. She looked to her left and right, assuring herself that no one was observing them. The last thing she needed was a nosy nurse or doctor writing her up for an ethics violation. Quickly, she wrote her cell phone number inside along with her name before tearing it out and pressing it to Joel’s chest.

“Don’t lose this, Joel Miller,” she teased, her smile soft, refreshing, and authentic.

He watched her walk down the hall as he leaned against the doorway, “I swear on my life, I won’t, Alice York.”

#juice collective #pedro pascal character fanfiction #dave york #equalizer 2 #joel miller fanfiction #pedro pascal fandom #joel miller fic #joel miller tlou #alice york's wonderland #alice york #murder daughter

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arminty7 · 4 years ago

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𝘚𝘸𝘪𝘮𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘯 𝘞𝘪𝘯𝘦

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Mermaid!Jungkook x Reader [Part 2]

Trapped in this life of expensive wine and judgemental eyes Y/N met an unusual lady who offered her a job at an aquarium a few towns away. Despite being hesitant and uncertain for the future she decided to take the offer as it was her only way out, not knowing that many dangers might come her way.

Jungkook swam his way through the small tunnel in wonder. He didn’t realise what he was ‘walking’ into as he took the entire night to explore a tunnel. He thought it might lead to you, how naive. It is only when he heard the piercing sound of drilling from the small tunnel entrance did he know what was happening, he was trapped. With that, his instincts took over.

Chapter: #2 Swimming in Wine

Words: 4181

Warnings: Mild Swearing // Fluff // Eventual Smut? Idk maybe depends // Jungkook obsessive // Evil Namjoon (im sorry guys) // It might be a little messed up.

AN - So I know I havent updated in a very LONG time but I am now updating regularly. I have changed the pov and increased my writing ability.

This work shall not be copied, reproduced, translated and/or modified in any way without my permission. In a case where this might happen, legal action will be taken as it would be a criminal act under the law and breaching these terms. Upon reading my work you are acknowledging that this work is mine and that you know the consequences if this work is copied, reproduced, translated and/or modified in any way without my permission.

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You awoke abruptly as a slam of the car door next to you made you nearly jump from your seat. You sat up and looked around as Julie stepped out of the car onto the wet road. Your head feeling cloudy as you noticed you were parked in a parking lot next to a tall building in the middle of the bustling city. Your eyes then followed Julie who walked across the road towards a small bakery. You could smell the food from here as your stomach grumbled loudly. You closed your eyes again, hearing the cars go past as their tires hit the puddles on the ground. The distant honk of horns and the bus going past made you feel somewhat tranquil, wanting to stay like that forever. You were ready to go back to sleep before the sound of the car door opening made your eyes open again.

"Oh, so you're finally awake?" Julie looks towards you with a smile on her face as she ducks her head under the car roof and gets in. She closes the door firmly beside her, with a bag of pastries in her hand.

"Uh yeah I guess. How long was I asleep for?" You don't even look in her direction as you rub your eyes, feeling sleep try to invite you in once more.

"No more than a few hours, although we are just about there. We are staying at my place for a while. Just out of the city in Taelin Shore" (I made it up with the idea of "Tail", it's not a ship name). She looked at you, shaking the bag of pastries in her hand that you didn't even notice till now.

"So when do I start work?" You look at the pastries and then back at her, wanting to focus on what's important. She places the pastries on the backseat and starts the engine, before driving out of the parking lot.

"Well, you will have an orientation on Monday at the aquarium which starts at 9 am till 2 pm. It's only small but I think it's just for showing you the ropes and letting you explore the building." She continues to drive out of the city down the coast, heading for Taelin Shore.

"Wait Monday? That's only three days away. They didn't even give me an interview yet" It seemed unreal at the most, how could they have that much faith in you?

"They don't need an interview. I told you, I know the owner. He trusts my word more than anyone." She smiles, the brown locks of her hair tied back into a messy bun, something you never thought she would wear. At the dinner party, she seemed so elegantly dressed like the other woman there. It was weird to see her in casual clothes and indulging in sweet pastries.

You look at her once more in disbelief, feeling hesitant about this situation. "I barely know you. I heard that you knew my mother but forgive me if that in itself makes me even more concerned". She chuckles slightly, gripping the wheel tightly as she turns another corner. "You might barely know me, but I was around ever since you were born. I just want to help you. I love your mother, but she puts too much pressure on you."

You sighed as you looked out the window realising you reached the coast of Taelin. It seemed beautiful and serene as you drove through the town, going past, looking at the view of the ocean. You were excited but nervous. What if you don't like it here? What if it is the same as back home? A place that kills every good part of you, forcing you to feel paranoid about everyone you meet? You didn't want to be near that. You wanted to be free.

Your thoughts were interrupted by the car going up the hill on a small dirt path and parking next to a small beach house that was facing the ocean. "We're here, how do you like it? Nice view huh?" Julie smiles in awe as she exits the car, slamming the car door behind her. You do the same as you both look out towards the view of the vast ocean and the mountains that surround the small town.

Julie points down towards the pier urging you to look over to see a massive building next to the docks. "That's where you will be working in the next couple of days." She smiles, "don't worry, everyone's friendly. It's different here".

You look over at her in doubt, "What about you? How do I know you're different than the rest of them back at home?".

She chuckles before turning back towards you, "I got you out, didn't I?" she pats your shoulder before heading inside. She leaves you with your thoughts.

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[6:43 am]

It was early in the morning, the light from the sun started to shine in your room as you soon noticed that you - again - forgot to close the curtains. Although awake, instead of you getting up to close them, you laid there for a while. The sound of the waves crashing was distant, but you could almost feel the pressure and the weight of the water crashing onto the rocks. You imagined what it would be like to be that rock, every day having to go through the same cycle. Every morning the tide would try and crash down and attempting to break through on the rocks until it is time for the water to come back in. The water could never break the rocks, perhaps that was even more torture.

You sighed, not even understanding your own thoughts sometimes. You groan as you get up from the warm and comforting bed, heading towards the shower. You undressed and turned the shower on, watching the steam build-up in the room, covering the mirror. You preferred hot showers.

After your shower, you left to walk along the beach. Upon stepping outside the two-story house, you feel a gush of wind. The cold pierces your body as the wind flutters through your clothes. You walk down the steps of the patio and walk over to the edge of the cliff, looking down at the water that once again crashes through the rocks violently.

You weren't afraid of the ocean and had spent your whole life in the water. Although, something didn't feel right here. You watched the water down below. I looked peaceful yet restless. With every second it became more violent, the clouds grew dark quickly, and you noticed a drop of water fall onto your forehead. You sighed and looked back down the cliff before seeing a small splash in the water and something with a scaly body. But it was nothing like what you had seen at the aquarium. You felt yourself getting dizzy and started to wonder when the last time you had eaten something. You cursed under your breath for rejecting those pastries Julie got yesterday. You stumbled, backwards and forwards as your vision started to spin. The dark cloud's now covering the sky completely. You had tried to balance yourself, but you had ended up stepping forward to much, descending over the cliff and crashing down into the ocean. Your vision went black.

The water was cold, too cold. You felt the cold sinking into your skin, grasping onto your bones, coating them in ice. You didn't bother to open your eyes as you felt yourself crashing in and out of the water. You could hear the waves and thunder as you reach the surface, before getting pulled under again. Suddenly strong arms wrapped around you from behind. Your toes and the back of your thighs could feel the slimy tail that was swaying beneath the surface. You tried to look over at what has a hold of you. Although it was strong, and you could barely move your body. You could feel its cold hands enveloping around your chest and your waist as your body swayed in the current. You could feel its hot breath on your neck whispering things in your ear before you passed out from exhaustion.

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[Two days later]

Monday - 8:45 am

The morning was quick, slipping your shoes on as you try to make your way down the stairs of the beach house into the lounge room. You couldn't stop thinking about that day. The day where you

woke up on the beach and Julie insisted on calling the doctor even though you assured her everything was fine. It was surprising, to say the least, that you didn't even get hurt. There were tons of rocks as the current was nearly ripping you apart. That was before that thing showed up. It felt like death was surrounding you. Ironic really that it may have saved your life.

"Hurry up Y/N, I told them you'd be there by 9. You're lucky we don't live far away from the Aquarium". Julie watches you run around the house as you find your bag and keys. You ignore her comments as you rush out the door towards the car, opening the passenger side and getting in.

"Why don't you let me drive?" You groan, looking at your watch. She gets in beside you and starts the car. "Because dear Y/N, you’re impulsive and from what I heard, it took you seven times before you passed your driving test and you haven't driven since." You roll your eyes as she drives down the dirt road and onto the main road.

You look out towards the ocean, seeing the waves crash onto the rocks on the mountains, slamming on the rocks violently. Your mind wandered for a bit. You could almost feel the hot breath against your neck again, ice-cold arms wrapping around your body. The memory of that strange creature is still vivid in your mind. You didn't tell Julie, of course. She'd probably think you're crazy.

Your eyes wander towards the open sea, seeing the birds glide over the water, how free they looked. The thought of being free sounded appealing, oh how you wanted to be one of those birds, flying across the water, without a care in the world.

But even you knew that in reality, those birds still needed to fight to survive, even they sometimes had to turn against each other.

You sighed, looking towards the road as you see small fish and bakery shops already opened and full of locals. A few minutes passed as the car turned into a car park. "We're here." Julie parked the car.

"You're not coming in with me?" You looked at her pouting a little as she chuckles "Do you want me to?" Your eyebrows furrowed, quickly grab your bag and open the door.

"No" You quickly answer and slam the door, feeling as though she was mocking you a little because you didn't want to do it alone.

"You don't need her Y/N" You tell yourself. "She's just like the rest of them. Just take advantage of the situation until your good on your own. Then let her go. She's just using you"

You make your way towards the entrance, going past the two waterfalls with statues of dolphins spitting out water. The glass doors opened as you enter, and you look at your watch, it was 8:57.

You walk in following the tunnel entrance towards the reception although you couldn't help but wonder where everyone was. Wasn't it opening today? Were you mistaken? You continue towards the reception, seeing a young handsome looking man in a suit typing away on his computer. You clear your throat and the man looks over at you.

"Oh, my apologies miss. We are not open today due to a technical issue, but we will be opening tomorrow at 7 am. Do you wish to make a booking early?" The handsome man looks over at you, his broad shoulders prominent. You glanced over at his name tag labelled "Kim Seokjin".

"Uhh, no thank you. My name is Y/N, Y/N L/N. I'm here for my induction." Your words came out less confident than you would have liked as you looked down at the floor.

"Y/N!?" You flinched, hearing your name being called. You looked over as another man in a black suit walked towards you. He was tall and had blonde hair, slicked back and styled. He held out a hand to you, "Hello, my name is Kim Namjoon. Julie told me so much about you." He smiled at you, displaying his two dimples on each side of his face. Just like the receptionist, his visuals were prominent.

You shook his hand, blinking a few times before realising, "You're... my boss??" you stammered out, his firm strong hands wrapped around your tiny ones. You have to admit, he was well built and his smile was to die for. He chuckled, letting your hand go before directing you past the reception and into the food court of the aquarium. You look back towards the reception, wanting to say goodbye to the receptionist but it was too late as Namjoon led you down the hall.

As the two of you entered the food court, the room was wide, and it looked like a massive underground restaurant with fish tanks surrounding it. You have never seen anything like it.

"So, Y/N, as you might have guessed this place is quite empty at the moment, just a small a technical issue but it hopefully will be fixed in a few days" Namjoon leads you across the room letting you take a look at everything. You suppose that this is going to be your tour.

"Ah yes, so I've heard" Namjoon smiles while continue walking as you went past an enormous tank that looked like it connected with the other tanks. You glanced at his attire, classic black suit and tie with a white shirt underneath.

Namjoon had stopped and glanced around the room. "This is the food court, although most of the time when you are working you won't be needed here." It just had occurred to you that you didn't even know what position you'd be in. All you knew was that it was a job away from your mother and paid quite a lot of money. Julie was right, you are impulsive.

"So, what am I going to be doing here?" You look over at him as he continues to walk, heading towards another room with a big smile on his face, showing his dimples.

"Well, Y/N-"

"Namjoon! There you are, we have a situation..." A man with a white coat entered the room. He had a concerned look about him but as soon as he saw you it changed into a big smile and you couldn't help but want to smile back at him.

"Hello! My name is Jung Hoseok. You must be the new girl that will be working for us?" You looked at him and couldn't help but feel special as he gave you all his attention. Namjoon looked over at you while you smiled back at Hoseok, you dont know why but you just felt so comfortable around him.

"Ah yes... I guess everyone knows about me, huh" you shyly answered, suddenly finding the urge to fiddle with your earring. It was a nervous habit. "My name is Y/N L/N. It's nice to meet you" Hoseok smiled again before Namjoon cleared his throat, regaining our attention.

"Hoseok... Did you want to speak in private?" Hoseok's smile immediately dropped and he looked at Namjoon with a more serious expression.

"Yes, of course, Regarding our technical problem, there is some important information you need to know." Namjoon nods his head and looks over at you. "Excuse me, Miss L/N".

You watched them walk out of the food court. You wondered what the technical problem was. Even the receptionist was vague about it. You sighed and took a seat at the cafe. You sat there staring at a fish in a tank. The food court was big and round. The walls surrounding it was just glass tanks, with one in the middle of the circular room, acting as a pillar. You sat in your seat quietly, your mind started to wander back to those callous hands that feel like they never left your body. You felt an ice chill, it petrified you. It felt like you were marked by death.

You heard Namjoon and Hoseok walk in as you quickly stood up and pushed your chair in neatly. "Everything all sorted?" You press your lips together, trying to get that thing off your mind.

Namjoon looks at you curiously before frowning, 'I'm truly sorry, I don't think I can proceed with this tour. Something very important has come up". You nod, understandingly.

"No, No, I understand. Don't worry, I'm pretty sure I can navigate my way around the place." You take a glance around.

This place is way too big...

Namjoon looked over at you. "That won't be necessary, I have organised one of the staff members to come and give you a tour, you will be a trainer just like him. He will be mentoring you. His name is-"

"Hello Y/N". His voice was sweet. Angelic, but not innocent. A sultry like voice that sounded like a whisper of temptation. You looked over your shoulder to see an elegant looking man with light brown locks walking over to you. His style was neat as he had black-skinny jeans and a white t-shirt, following by a Chanel bag. "My name is Park Jimin," the man said.

Damn the wage must be crazy then huh...

Namjoon sighed and looked at the floor, that was the second time he had gotten interrupted. Namjoon looked over at Jimin and then at you, before stating "This is your mentor".

Jimin looks over at you cocking his head as he smiled at you. "Come on, let me show you the place! Oh yeah, and you can meet Tae! He'd love to meet you." He grabbed your hand, locking your fingers with his as he dragged you out of the food court. "Goodbye Hoseok and Namjoon! Nice meeting you!"

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You sat there next to the water on the platform that stretches over the dolphin's tank. Jimin had taught you how to feed them and the different signals you can do with your hands. When you first saw Jimin, he seemed to like this neat good-looking guy that wouldn't work at a place like this. But here, now looking at him as he is feeding the dolphins with the biggest smile on his face, his hair fluffy and eyes glued to the water, he looked like he belonged.

"Jimin-ah!" you heard someone shout. Jimin stood up quickly and ran off the platform onto the concrete towards a tall looking man, well at least taller than Jimin. "Taehyung-ah! You are 3 hours late! You know you can't always get me to cover for you. You are lucky Y/N was there when I ran into Namjoon today, he for sure would have asked me about you. You know I can't lie to him!" Jimin and Taehyung walked back on the platform and you could finally see Taehyung features.

"Hi, my name is Kim Taehyung. Nice to meet you" he bowed and smiled. His voice was low, that was the first thing you noticed about him. The second thing was his fluffy black hair and you suspected that he recently had a perm. He was soft in every way except he had this dominating presence that could be seen through his eyes. He smiled at you, his box smile making you smile.

"Hello! My name is Y/N. Quite late, are you?" You smiled, and he chuckled. "I swear this doesn't always happen." Jimin scoffed and you tried to hold in your laughter.

"Oh yeah, did you show her around yet?" Taehyung came and sat down on the platform. We joined him, watching the dolphins. Jimin looked over at you "Well we did look around a little, but we haven't been to all the off-limit areas yet".

This intrigued you, "Ooh, now I’m excited. " You spoke with enthusiasm and Taehyung and Jimin smirked at one another. Jimin looked your way "Okay so we can’t get caught there though, it's off-limits to everyone besides Namjoon and Hoseok."

You nodded, curious to see what those "off-limit areas" are. Taehyung sighed, "I don't get why it's off-limits. Those poor fishes all alone... No one to talk too..." Taehyung pretends to cry and puts his hands over his face before taking them off and smirking. You were confused about his comment.

You look over at Taehyung. He was a character that's for sure. He seemed more carefree than Jimin. Perhaps he didn't like his job as much as Jimin liked it? You weren't one to judge though. You did, in fact, move away from home with barely any knowledge where you're going or if Julie was trustful. You were pretty carefree yourself. But thats because you feel like you have nothing to lose.

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"Come on! Come on! Hurry up Tae." Jimin whispered loudly.

Taehyung was dawdling behind as you and Jimin were making your way downstairs in the back area of the aquarium. Towards one of the rooms that were "off-limits". Jimin and Taehyung said they have been working here for years and they have a special key for one of the rooms down here. Apparently it came from the bartender that worked in the food court. Jimin said that the bartender had found it while cleaning and decided to keep it.

"Ah yes, the bartender... watch out for that one" Taehyung chuckled as you guys went through the door using the key. "What do you mean?" you answered, watching Jimin use the key on the door.

"Don't scare her Taehyung! It's her first day, I'm sure he will like her." Jimin sighed but smirked slightly as he opened the doors. As you walked inside you noticed the walls looked like they were made out of stone with little windows that revealed the ocean. There was a long hallway, the ground was made out of sand and as you went down the pathway you could see a moonpool of some sort that had fish in it.

"My little fishes! How have you been?" Taehyung yells out and Jimin shushes him.

"I can't believe this is down here," You say, getting closer the glowing moonpool. Taehyung walks past you, "well no one comes down here anymore. As we said, we have the key. No one has been in, so we figured we are the only ones who have a key to the place."

“But, like how is it here? Under the aquarium?” You wondered, sitting down next to the moonpool.

“Its connected to the mountains. The aquarium is on the shore but the back of it is connected to the mountains that surround Taelin Shore and this just so happens to be here.” Jimin states, looking around it awe.

Jimin smiled and looked over at Taehyung, "Its our little hideout but now I feel like it should be Y/N's..." Jimin smiled as he spoke, visably excited and leaned onto Taehyung. You suppose they have been friends since their childhood. You could have sensed it on them.

You gave Jimin a confused expression he looked over at you and handed you the key, "here". You looked at him and stood back. "Wait what? Why are you giving me that? isn't it yours?". Jimin shrugs and puts it in your other hand. "I was once new here as well. I know how it feels, sometimes you just want some peace and quiet." Taehyung then chips in, "It may not seem like it now but when it gets busy, it can be stressful. Besides, we haven't been in here for a while, we don't have any use for it.

You smiled, you did need this. With Julie at home and these two at work, you knew you're going to have your hands full. Just the other day, you wanted time alone... By the end of it, you fell off a cliff and nearly drowned. Perhaps this could be a place for you to be alone. Everyone needed a hideout, right?

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It was the end of the day and Jimin and Taehyung were finished giving you their tour. You were surprised that you felt so comfortable around them. Julie was right, the people here are different.

You stood outside of the Aquarium hugging and saying goodbye to both Jimin and Taehyung as they walked towards their cars to go home. You weren't planning to stay for this long, truth is your orientation ended hours ago. You just wanted to spend more time with them.

You walked over to the pillar at the steps, waiting for Julie to come to pick you up. You sat down on the steps quietly before hearing someone raise their voice as they were heading up the steps. You hid behind the pillar, sittiing there silently. Thankfully, they didn't see you.

You heard Hoseok's voice "You don't understand! We got him! We got him, you hear me? This is a breakthrough of the century! Do you know what we could do now that we have him? The possibilities are endless. This creature is-"

You heard someone interrupt. It sounded like Namjoon, "This creature is the only thing we have going for us right now so would you be so kind to stay quiet! I know you're excited, but we can't let anyone know about this, he's dangerous."

They both went inside. Leaving you to your thoughts.

Honk Honk

"Come on Y/N, It's late!" Julie yelled out from the car. You got up and grabbed your bag before running over to the car.

"I'm coming!"

Tags - @mjlock

AN: Tell me if you like it!

- Minty ⚘

#bts #jungkook x reader #jungkook fanfic #mermaid jungkook #siren jungkook #jeon jungkook #bts images #bts scenarios #masterlist #kim seokjin #kim namjoon #min yoongi #jung hoseok #park jimin #kim taehyung #bts x reader #sirens #mermaid

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digital-dhampirs · 4 years ago

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VnC chapter 43: something I didn’t notice

So while I was off thinking about the fluff of chapters 44 and 45, and the upcoming intense flashback moral dilemma oh ffffeeeuuuck of the Misha Arc, i aPPARENTLY MISSED THE PART WHERE ANTOINE SAYS THE SENATE IS SEARCHING FOR CHLOÉ?????

I was thinking that she and Jean- Jacques were gonna have a happy life in the countryside protecting Gévaudan!! But now I realize that the entire senate of the most powerful vampires in the VnC world is looking for Chloé and whooooh ly shit if a hapless country bumpkin and an edgy but weak human could find Chloé I ... I think maybe the senate could find her too.

One the one hand I don’t want Chloé to get caught and I want her and Jean-Jacques to live on free from any cage forever.

But on the other hand, I am super excited to see what the senate and vampiric nobility do if/ when they do find Chloé and Jean-Jacques. She would finally REUNITE WITH RUTHVEN and that’s something I desperately want to see.

The senate would probably want her to use her mechanical mind to either stabilize or destabilize Faustina further, right? And considering both Ruthven’s magic mind control powers and Naenia’s magic mind control powers have failed at controlling Chloé, they’ll have to choose between two tactics— either holding out a carrot (we’ll leave you alone if you do this for us) or the stick (we’ll destroy Saugues/ kill Jean-Jacques if you don’t). And considering that Jean-Jacques has very little value to any other character save Chloé, it would be verrrry easy to use him as manipulation material (as opposed to Jeanne, the only other person that Chloé could be manipulated with— killing Jeanne would destroy the Senate’s relationship to Luca and probably Ruthven too)....

So we might be seeing another Chloé and Jean-Jacques arc, or at least more of these two, at some point! I’m not sure if I want them to escape from the Senate or get caught but we’ll know the ultimate result eventually..!

#vanitas no carte #vnc #the case study of vanitas #vanitas no shuki #les memoires de vanitas #chloé d'apchier #jean-jacques chastel

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p-artsypants · 4 years ago

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Longest Night (43) Eating

Ao3 | FF.net

Bonus Scene from last Chapter:

Emilie reclined on the couch next to her husband. She had a glass of whiskey in her hand, her drink of choice. A silken robe covered her form as she rested against the plush cushions.

But she was not relaxed. Not in the slightest.

Gabriel had pulled up the Ladyblog on the smart TV and proceeded to go down the timeline of akumas. Thankfully, Alya had organized the blog to skip all the theories and fluff articles. Only the actions of the heroes and Hawkmoth were shown.

Emilie had scooted away from him when he said, “I was a terrorist.” But she stayed long enough to hear that none of his damage or casualties were permanent. And that he had some regret about his actions. He had been desperate to get her back, and admitted that he had crossed the line so many times.

So now he was admitting to all of his crimes. He was coming clean to her, so she could judge him fairly and for herself.

“I had no idea that Adrien was Chat Noir. I didn’t know until his identity was revealed.”

Emilie found this to be a lie, however, since he reached an Akuma in the timeline when he suspected Adrien to be Chat Noir.

Gorizilla, that was the name. The bodyguard Emilie had known forever was the poor victim. He had turned into a giant blue ape and had Adrien in his grasp.

And then...and then...

Emilie watched in horror as the Akuma dropped her son, her baby, off the side of the building.

“I had hoped that he would transform to save himself, but he very cleverly called my bluff—“

The glass of whiskey was now empty, as it’s contents were in his face.

Perhaps he had been too honest.

“My baby!! My precious little boy! My innocent sweet sunshine boy! You let him get thrown off of a roof on a hunch?!??”

“I wasn’t going to let him hit the bottom. Ladybug saved him.”

“WELL I’M GLAD SOMEONE WAS ON TOP OF IT!” She shouted. “I can’t believe you! Of all the low down, dirty, rotten, conniving tricks!”

“Emilie please—“

“I should throw you off the building and see how you like it!”

“Please calm down.”

“Calm down?! CALM DOWN?!” She found one of her heels she had kicked off earlier. “Gabriel Maurice Agreste! I’m going to murder you!”

He looked at her flatly. “We haven’t even gotten to the worst part.”

Emilie’s primal scream of rage made something click in his brain.

It was time to go.

To say that Tom, Sabine, and Gabriel were surprised would be an understatement.

There, standing at the top of the stairs, arm and arm, were Ladybug and Chat Noir. Not Adrien and Marinette, but the costumed heroes that everyone loved. With added hats and scarfs to protect from the December air.

Tom was the first to recover and gave them a disarming smile. “Hey kiddos! Where’s the fire?”

“No fire.” Said Ladybug. “Ice Cream.”

“Ice cream? In January?” Asked Gabriel. “If you want Ice Cream, you could have just asked.”

Ladybug shook her head. “Alya figured out where Andre’s Ice Cream cart is. We want to go.”

“Okay, well, we could drive you—“ started Sabine.

“No!” Ladybug shouted. “I need to get out of this house or I’m going to explode! I need to get away from the smothering! I need to feel the sun on my skin and the wind—“ she choked. “I need to get out there for just a little while.”

“Your suits will draw attention.” Gabriel said it as a thought to be considered, and not a warning.

“I know. But won’t it help? Isn’t everyone asking about us?”

Tom gave a little smile. “What’s the harm? Can you just text us when you get there?”

“I can do that.” Ladybug smiled.

Gabriel spoke up. “Did you make sure Adrien wanted to go?”

“It was his idea.” She said cooly.

“Well, I have been disarmed.” Gabriel shrugged. “Just please be careful.”

“There’s nothing to worry about.” Ladybug assured.

After they both left, Tom looked at his wife and Gabriel. “They amaze me. They are doing so well!”

“I agree. Especially Marinette,” said Gabriel. “For her to not be afraid to go out in their suits...”

“I think the suits are for strength.” Added Sabine. “For them to be able to walk that far, and for protection.”

“That makes sense.”

She frowned. “Actually, I think it’s the suits that are letting them do this well. I found them sleeping in them the other night.”

Tom winced. “That’s not a great sign.”

Gabriel screwed up his lips in thought.

—

Outside the mansion, Ladybug and Chat Noir descended the stairs and went out to the gate. It was at the point where the media no longer lingered outside the mansion. No one had gotten a glimpse of the heroes, and they weren’t likely to for a while still.

“Do you want to walk? Or take the roofs?”

“Walk. I’m still not strong enough for rooftops.”

“Okay. He’s not that far from here.”

They made their way, hand and hand, to the Ponts des arts.

As they walked, occasionally they were bugged by passerby. Mostly with handshakes and cheek kisses, occasional selfies. Thankfully, since it was January, there weren’t a lot of pedestrians.

Finally, they reached the bridge. Andre spotted them from the other side. “Ladybug! Chat Noir! Oh my favorite duo!”

Ladybug gave a soft smile to the man. “Hello Andre. One please.”

“Of course! On the house!” He prepared a cone, and started to scoop. “One scoop mint chip, for Chat Noir. One scoop cherry chip, for Ladybug, and one scoop cookies and creme, for true, pure love, riddled with trials and tribulations.” He stuck two spoons in the ice cream and handed it over. “Come see me whenever you like. You’re always welcome here!”

“Thank you. This looks delicious!”

It was unseasonably warm. Sitting on a bench looking out on the river, ice cream in hand, everything felt normal for a little while. A lovely ice cream date, something Marinette had always wanted to do with Adrien.

He let out a long sigh.

“Are you okay? Comfortable?”

“I’m fine.” He smiled at her. “My butt hurts a little, but I’ll survive.”

“We don’t have to stay long. We’ll just finish our ice cream.”

“No, you were right,” he breathed. “Just being outside for a while is nice.” A tear rolled down his cheek. “I can’t believe how much I missed this. It wasn’t that long but…”

“The sunlight.” Ladybug finished for him. “It’s nice. I can feel it.”

“And the wind. And hearing the birds. Hearing the water. It’s all nice.”

They ate in companionable silence for a while. Living in the moment with blank minds.

“Hey, you beat us!” Alya called as they approached.

“We decided to get out before school let out and everyone ruined our fun.” Said Ladybug.

Alya and Nino got their ice cream and joined them on the bench.

“So, how’s the dynamic duo today? Haven’t gotten to spend a lot of time with you since we both moved back home.”

“Well, we have sweethearts ice cream. Not much to complain about.”

“Anybody give you trouble on the way out?”

“A couple people wanted pictures, and to express sympathy. It wasn’t bad.”

“It helps that it’s not tourist season, and it’s a weekday.”

“I’m sure. What kind of ice cream did you get?”

“Neapolitan. Or as Andre now calls it, Ninopolitan. Just for us.”

“That’s adorable.”

“I’m not usually a fan of strawberry ice cream either, but Andre’s is so good.”

“His chocolate is amazing.” Added Nino. “I want him to make my wedding cake out of it.”

“What, you don’t want my dad’s better-than-crack chocolate cake?”

“Half and half!” He protested. “I shouldn’t have to choose!”

Chat Noir smiled broadly, his shoulders shaking with mirth.

“Oh, before I forget. Did Chloe tell you about the Mayor’s ball a few weeks out?”

Ladybug groaned. “Yeah. The supposed ‘Hero’s Ball’ in honor of Chat and I? No thanks.”

“It can’t be too bad. A chance to get all gussied up, eat good food, and mingle with rich people.”

“Old Marinette would be excited, but...”

“You’ve got to stop referring to yourself like that, girl. You’ve changed, but you’re not a totally different person.”

She laughed. “I’m not?”

“A lot different, but there’s plenty of things I recognize. Right now, you seem to be doing really well. Besides the hair cut, you can hardly tell.”

“That’s good then.” Said Ladybug. “As long as someone recognizes me.”

“Are you designing a dress for the ball?”

“Gabriel and I are collaborating.” She stated it so plainly, like she didn’t even care. “He found a design he liked in my sketchbook, and he’s altering it. Same for Adrien. He’s designing a dress for my mom from scratch.”

“Oh that’s cool!”

“Poor man, he’s trying so hard to be a good father, but he’s so awful at it.”

Chat Noir snorted.

“He doesn’t get points for trying?”

“No. Not when he’s being awful when it matters. I’ve been yelled at for talking for Adrien, since he still isn’t ready to speak. Gabriel is impatient and bossy. He’s plenty generous, but he lacks understanding.”

“And it’s easy to be generous when you’re rich.” Added Nino.

Chat nodded in agreement.

“How are you today, bro?” Nino asked.

Chat shrugged, and pointed to his ice cream with his spoon.

“Gotcha.”

As they say, all good things must come to an end. And the simple peaceful outing turned into chaos when one person shouted. “There they are! It’s Ladybug and Chat Noir!”

From both ends of the bridge, people came running. Calling out for attention. Swarming.

“We didn’t even get to finish our ice cream,” Ladybug lamented.

Chat Noir, however, trembled at the noise and shifted closer to her, Alya, and Nino.

Alya stood, allowing Nino to wrap a protective arm around both of the heroes.

“Back!” Alya shouted at the crowd, raising her hands. “Back, you animals!”

The mob heeded her commands and stopped just a few feet away.

“Ladybug and Chat Noir are not ready for visitors! They aren’t doing autographs, and they aren’t doing hugs! They’re just out for ice cream and sunshine! So be on your merry way please!”

“Ladybug!” A little girl cried out. She weaseled her way through the crowd and ran at them, ignoring Alya completely to crash into Ladybug’s legs and nearly crawl into her lap.

“Hey!” Alya shouted. “What did I just say?”

“I’m so so sorry!” A woman called, catching up with the girl. “She’s just so excited! She loves Ladybug!”

“It’s alright.” Ladybug assured, petting the girl’s head. “How are you Eva?”

The girl beamed. “You remembered my name!”

“Of course I do. I’d remember any akuma that took six hours to beat.”

The girl giggled. “Sorry not sorry!”

Ladybug lifted the girl so she could properly sit on her lap, while the rest of the crowd stood back and listened.

“How are things at home? Did they ever get better?”

Eva gave a little shrug. “Mommy and daddy ended up getting divorced. But now that they don’t live in the same house, they get along a lot better. Sometimes we have dinner together. It still hurts, but at least they don’t yell anymore!”

“I’m really glad to hear that. I’m sorry that they divorced. That’s never an easy thing to go through, but I’m glad things worked out.”

“What about you? Are you feeling better?”

Ladybug swallowed the lump in her throat. “I’m…I’m doing alright. Somedays are better than others. Today we felt good enough to go out and get some ice cream.”

“Ice cream makes everything better!”

She smiled. “It sure does.”

“What about you, Chat Noir? How are you?”

He nodded with a smile.

“He said he’s good.” Provided Ladybug.

“Oh yeah, his voice hurts. That happened to me last year. I coughed and coughed and then I sounded like a frog. Do you sound like a frog when you talk?”

He shook his head.

“No? Well that’s good! Wouldn’t sound much like a cat if you croaked!” She reached up and petted Chat Noir’s head like a real cat.

He couldn’t help but purr.

“Oops, you found his soft spot.” Ladybug snickered.

Eva giggled and scratched him again. “What kind of ice cream did you get?”

“Mint chip, cherry chip, and cookies and creme.”

“Cookies and creme is my favorite! Did you like it?”

“I did! Though, I don’t think there’s any bad ice cream.”

“I do! My dad likes pistachio ice cream! Bleh!”

“Oh but pistachio is good!”

“No it’s not! It tastes like butt!”

Ladybug laughed. “Why don’t you ask your mom for some ice cream?”

“Oh hey yeah! That’s a great idea!”

The woman with Eva came closer. “Can I get a picture with you together?”

“Sure.”

“Mom! Get Chat in the picture too!”

Chat Noir leaned in, as she wrapped an arm around his shoulder.

A click, and Eva was scampering off of her lap. “It was nice seeing you Ladybug! I’m going to get ice cream now!”

Ladybug smiled at her. “I’m glad we could talk, Eva. That was nice. See you later.”

“Later!”

Ladybug let out a blissful sigh. The crowd was still surrounding them, waiting to be prompted.

“I’m kinda tired.” She announced. “What about you, kitty?”

Chat nodded and yawned.

“They’re going to go home now folks! Go on, get!” Alya shooed them away. “Sorry your outing was interrupted.”

“Mmm, actually, that wasn’t as bad as I was expecting.”

—

Adrien awoke from his nap feeling only a little groggy. He was down to one nap a day now, though it still usually lasted over an hour.

Marinette laid in his arms, her back pressed against his chest. It looked like she was awake as well, as she scrolled through her phone.

Adrien nuzzled closer, pressing a kiss behind her ear. “Whatcha reading?” He asked softly.

“Ladynoir FanFiction.”

He chuckled softly. “I thought you hated our FanFiction.”

“I did. But not so much anymore. Alya said a lot of authors on the blog are going back and editing their stories, so that our names and backgrounds are right. It’s kind of fun to see what people assume about us. The innocent things, like what our favorite Pokémon is and what flavors of ice cream we like.”

“Hmm.” Adrien hummed in her ear, savoring that perfect level of comfort. “What is your favorite Pokémon, my lady?”

“According to fics, it’s Ledyba.”

He scoffed.

“But I think I like Spheal. He’s a spherical seal. He’s a good boy.”

“He is a good boy.” Adrien said sleepily. “Wanna guess mine?”

“Is it Arcanine?”

“...yeah, it’s Arcanine.”

She giggled, turning her phone off and turning to face him. “I’m afraid you’re an open book to me.”

“Only to you.” He promised, kissing her swiftly.

There came a knock at the door.

“Adrien? Are you awake?” Gabriel’s voice came from the hall.

“He’s awake,” Marinette answered for him.

They adjusted themselves to be a little more presentable as Gabriel entered. He actually looked nervous, and excited? It was hard to tell on a man so stoic. He rubbed his hands together. “So, Adrien, we have a guest joining us for dinner tonight, and I thought you might want to see her first.” He beckoned the guest at the door.

Seeing Aunt Amilie, even after all this time, made his heart squeeze. She looked just like his mother, right down to the side ponytail.

Wait.

Was this some sort of joke? Amilie was in white, and her hair was tied on the other side, just the way his mother used to—

“Hi Hunny Bunny.” Her voice was so soft, so gentle. Tears gathered in her eyes as her hands raised up for him. “Look at how much you’ve grown!”

All of a sudden, he wasn’t in his bedroom. He was in that cold dark room, where they had been kept in crude cages. He was looking at the corpse with his mother’s face on it.

Then it morphed into everything wrong. Mouths for eyes, snakes for teeth, dripping fingers, as she just continued to smile at him. “It’s me, Adrien…I’m home.”

Adrien shook his head frantically, trying to shake the vision. But it wouldn’t leave. It was acid, wasn’t it? LSD? That’s what Dr. Boucher said was in his system. That hallucinations he had down in the catacombs would continue to haunt him. They were as unpredictable as they were vivid.

“Adrien honey?” Her voice was too sweet. It was wrong. Why was she here?

Adrien scrambled off the bed, placing himself opposite of the mattress from her, and he watched her with careful eyes.

“Adrien,” Gabriel tried. “It’s alright, your mother is home now. She’s back.”

Between the horrible visions and twisting thoughts, he had half a mind to take offense. She was back? She was fine all this time? Where was she? Why did she leave him alone? He couldn’t find any joy in the utter wrongness of it all. It made no sense, and it felt like some sick twisted joke.

His eyes wandered over to the windows on the other side of the room. His reflection was so small, so disgustingly thin and dirty, bloody, and pale. And her reflection…

It wasn’t his mother.

Gabriel nervously bit his thumb, waiting for Adrien’s reaction. So far, he just sat there, staring at her with impossibly wide eyes. Then he scrambled out of the sheets, his eyes never leaving her face. But there was no smile, no disbelief, no awe. Just shock and fear.

“Adrien, it’s alright. Your mother is home now. She’s back.”

Adrien quaked in his spot, shaking like a leaf, ready to burst. His listless eyes turned and caught sight of something in the window.

Gabriel never did know what his son saw, but whatever it was, it was horribly upsetting.

Terrible enough to rip that scream from his throat. Frightening enough make him flail his fists around, at him, at Marinette, and his own mother.

“Hunny bunny?” she asked once more, pleading with him.

It didn’t work. It only further exasperated Adrien, so that he shouted at her, like if he yelled loud enough she was disappear in a puff of smoke.

That’s when Gabriel conceded that his plan had failed epically. He grabbed Emilie’s wrist and pulled her from the room, as Adrien continued to scream after her.

Sabine caught her in a hug just outside the door. “It’s alright, dear.”

Emilie clung to her. “He doesn’t know me!”

“Of course he does,” Sabine soothed. “He’s just confused right now.”

Gabriel had made sure to close the door as they left, but it did nothing to suppress the noise from the room. The banging, the crashing, the clattering of books and trophies being flung off the shelves.

And Marinette’s rational voice trying to reach him.

“I hate her!” He yelled, like an arrow to Emilie’s heart. “She’s a liar! That’s all she’s ever been! I hate her! I hate her!”

Gabriel pressed a kiss to his wife’s head. “He doesn’t, he loves you so much.”

“Where did so go?! Why did she leave me alone with—with him?!” He voice broke off into ugly sobbing.

“Oh my baby boy,” Emilie wept. “My poor baby…”

“Well, I really hate to be the one that told you so…” Plagg spoke, phasing through the door.

“Don’t sound so smug.” Gabriel bit.

“I’m not. I swear I’m not.” His ears hung sadly. “But’s like I said. He doesn’t know where she’s been. To him, she ran away without a word, and she’s only coming back now? Because of what? The fact that he was tortured on screen?”

Emilie covered a mouth to hold back a sob.

“That’s not what happened, and you know it!” Gabriel yelled back.

“Of course I know! But he doesn’t! And you’re going to have to explain all of it to him.”

“What do you mean, ‘all of it’?”

Plagg looked at him levelly. “If you want Adrien to accept his mother, you’ve got to tell him about being Hawkmoth.”

Gabriel looked at the door. “Do you think he’s ready? Either of them are ready?” Plagg shrugged. “His world is rocked either way. I think you’ve got to decide which parent he needs more. Because the way I see it, he’ll reject the other. Maybe both of you.”

Emilie and Gabriel shared a very meaningful look.

Finally, Emilie hugged Sabine. “You’ll go comfort him, right? He needs a mom right now.”

“Of course dear.” Sabine opened the bedroom door slightly and crept inside. Emilie watched from the crack as she approached Marinette and Adrien, who were huddled together in a corner. It didn’t take any convincing for both of them to accept her embrace.

“I’ve missed so much.” Emilie whispered, teary-eyed.

Tom squeezed her shoulder. “It’s not your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Gabriel sighed. “And hopefully, you won’t have to miss anything more. I’ll tell them tomorrow. Even if…even if Adrien hates me, he deserves my honesty. And…I haven’t been very good to him since this whole mess started. You’ll be better for him, I know.”

“Gabe…”

“It’s alright. I suppose this is my punishment. But as long as Adrien gets everything he needs, then it’s all worth it.”

#ML #miraculous ladybug #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #ladybug #chat noir #ladynoir #adrinette #longest night #fanfiction

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thebiasrekkers · 4 years ago

Text

Make It Right [BTS Mafia!AU]

Plot: “It’s always darkest before the dawn…” It’s a dog-eat-dog world in Seoul, South Korea. One has to dwell in the shadows in order to reach for the light. What are you willing to sacrifice in order to feel the sunlight on your face? What will it take to drag you back into darkness? How long will the journey be to make it right?

Rating: NC-17 // NSFW

Pairings: Jin x OC | Taehyung/Hoseok x OC | Yoongi/Jungkook x OC

Warnings: Graphic Violence (bloody violence), Heavy Language, Angst, Slow Burn, Smut

Additional Warnings: Graphic depiction of torture, graphic physical violence, captured/kidnapping, major character death

Previous Chapters: Prologue 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51

Links: FAQ || BTS Masterlist || Admin E’s AO3 || Admin E’s WP || [ REQUESTS ARE OPEN ]

Word Count: 5,133

Tag List: @prisczero, @pinkpjmin, @btsaudge, @flowerwrites06, @unoriginal-username15432, @halussali, @shrimpmsg,

AN: And it all goes downhill from here, Ladies...

Chapter 51: Begin

“I can’t stand you crying. I want to cry instead, although I can’t.”

© thebiasrekkers (Admin E). All rights reserved. Reposting/modifying our work is prohibited. Translations are not allowed. Plagiarism/stealing is not tolerated by any means. Legal action will be taken in instances of theft.

Seoul – Samseong; Gangnam District South Korea

9:45 AM

Jungkook was three steps from heading to the insane asylum.

One step represented each day that he hadn’t been able to track Eden down.

He barely heard the words of comfort that Jimin was giving him. He knew that it had something to do with it not being his fault, but how could it not have been? He hadn’t heard from his wife in three days, assuming she got wrapped up with family affairs and was too busy to check in on the first day. The second day had him concerned that she’d gotten hurt. By the third day, Jungkook was at his wit’s end.

Only to find out that she’d been snatched up before she ever got the chance to leave for Daegu. He shouldn’t have put her second to his job. He shouldn’t have let her leave their house to go to the train station alone.

He shouldn’t have let this happen.

The image of Eden’s beaten form in the video clip was branded across the forefront of his mind. Hoseok was angry, determined to track down the Jade Fang members who’d done this. Jungkook was angry that they were still part of the equation. They should have been eliminated years ago.

It wasn’t like they weren’t aware of what Im Changkyun was capable of. They’d seen the vicious things he’d done while they were Jade Fang members themselves. He didn’t think it was necessary to attend district meetings, feeling the rest of the bosses were beneath his standards of proper mafia leadership. Hoseok was his only equal and it appeared that he continued to see him as such.

Divine Intervention prevented Jungkook from leaving the house that night and storming the stronghold of the Jade Fangs alone. He would have burned every single one of their businesses down; he was determined to do so. Jimin escorted him home that night and there was a parcel waiting at home for Jungkook. His brother made him a drink and when Jungkook opened the package, he collapsed on the floor and cried until he could barely breathe.

It was a gift Eden prepared for him for his birthday – a handmade model of his dream car. Seated in the car were miniature figures of Eden and himself. He didn’t remember passing out. He didn’t remember Jimin tucking a blanket over him. He could only remember Eden’s face, smiling as they shared breakfast together the morning she was taken.

“Jungkook-ah,” called Jimin, pulling Jungkook out of his inner musings. There was concern painted over his brother’s face and he took a breath, waiting for him to continue. “I think we’ve covered everywhere here.”

Jungkook said nothing. Instead, he pulled out the small notebook he carried with him and scratched out Gangnam from the list. For two and a half days, they combed every single section of Gangnam they could. There was a part of him that knew that the Jade Fangs wouldn’t be so arrogant to hold her hostage in their former territory. But there was also a part of him that could reason Im Changkyun doing something so ridiculous as a form of “poetic justice” against them.

To him, the Golden Jackals never disbanded.

“What about the others?”

Jimin sighed, leaning against the driver’s side door of the car. “They’re hitting the other areas. Hoseok called in some favors from the other district bosses to let us through.”

All Jungkook did was nod. There was something off about this whole situation. Very off. There shouldn’t have been a single obstacle in the way of the other district heads when it came to taking over their territories. Yongsan and Gangnam were completely up for grabs; Hoseok said as much. Jungkook could only guess that Changkyun’s influence prevented them from stepping a single foot into their turf. He more than likely was determined to get Hoseok and the others back so they could do a mass district takeover.

“I don’t like that Tae Hyung went off by himself,” he suddenly said, meeting Jimin’s gaze.

“Yeah,” he replied softly, “I don’t either.”

Jungkook frowned. “He still hasn’t checked in yet?”

“No.”

He didn’t want to prod any further. Jimin was probably more worried about Taehyung than any of them. While it was unsurprising that he went off on his own, it was unlike him to not have checked in by now. Taehyung wasn’t a morning person, which was why they all knew that he hadn’t slept while he was on the hunt.

Then again, none of them were really sleeping.

A soft ache throbbed at Jungkook’s temple. He pressed a hand to his chest, taking a small amount of comfort in feeling his wedding band dangling from the necklace chain. He didn’t know how much longer he could handle not knowing what was happening with Eden.

“Hyung, I—”

“She’s fine, Jungkook-ah.” Jimin’s words sliced through his own, as if he’d already predicted what he was going to say. When he met his brother’s gaze, he saw the reassuring smile tinged with just a hint of worry. “If I know her, she’ll make them regret the day they decided to take her.”

“Not before I do.”

Suddenly, Jimin and Jungkook’s phones chimed simultaneously – indicating they received a message. Both looked at their phones immediately and Jungkook felt his heart rate escalate. It wasn’t a matter of him losing hope as seeing the message renewed his vigor.

It was from Taehyung.

Taehyung: I found her. She’s near Namyangju in Gyeonggi-do. Somewhere in the Industrial District. I’m heading back now.

Jungkook looked at Jimin the same time he did. Without uttering a word, they flung the doors open to the car and hopped in. Jimin fired up the engine and punched it, speeding out of Gangnam. Jungkook stared at his phone as more messages came through from the others. It didn’t take him long to figure out that they were closer to that location than everyone else. It was a half an hour drive, traffic willing.

They’d get there first.

10:17 AM

Namyangju – Gyeonggi Province South Korea

Jungkook felt like it took them a hundred years to get to their destination. With every mile marker they passed, it brought him one step closer to finding Eden. One step closer to bringing her home. He clung to the smallest shreds of his willpower not to scream at Jimin to drive faster. They didn’t need to get into any kind of accident before they reached her.

Jimin swung the car into an empty street, the desolate district eerie even in the morning light. Jungkook tumbled from the passenger side, all but tearing his seatbelt from his body in the process. Jimin called after him, but he paid him no mind. His legs ate up the ground as he ran headlong into the central area of the decrepit buildings.

No one lived in the abandoned sections of the province anymore, but the government hadn’t bothered with tearing it down. His hope began to dwindle, realizing just how expansive the district was. It would take them hours to find her at this rate.

Resisting the urge to scream, he slowed to a jogging pace before stopping altogether. Running around blindly without a single clue as to where to look would get him nowhere. They were just wasting time. There was even the chance that the group would up and relocate themselves before they could even have a chance at finding them.

Eden would be lost forever.

He heard Jimin run up behind him, clapping a hand to his shoulder. Jungkook did his best to tether his scattered thoughts, chasing away the worst possibilities from his mind. He needed to calm down and think.

“There were a few cars parked near the back,” he said after catching his breath, “we might need to go up top to get a better idea of where they might be.”

Jungkook nodded, pointing straight ahead. “I’ll head to that building down there. Text me if you find anything.”

Just as he was about to take off, Jimin grabbed him – halting his movements.

“No, we stick together.” Jungkook opened his mouth to protest, but Jimin’s glare quickly silenced him. “If something happens, we won’t be able to do anything alone. We’re stronger together.”

While he wanted to argue, he knew that his brother was right. Even if splitting up would help them cover more ground, there was a good chance that they wouldn’t have a way to defend themselves if they got caught in a sticky situation. Jungkook did his best to push down his mounting impulsivities. Charging in blindly was foolish and would most likely get them killed.

“Alright, Hyung,” Jungkook said, relenting, “let’s go together.”

Not wasting another moment, they tore off down the center of the district – eyes rapidly searching in every direction their necks would allow them to turn.

10:32 AM

Minutes crept by at a snail’s pace.

Jungkook did everything he could to keep his head together. There were too many horrifying images playing rapidly in his head, like a flipbook that ended in blood splatters. Jimin stayed at his side, matching his pace as well as his fervor. Every so often, they would stop to peek into various buildings. They climbed up to higher vantage points to get a better lay of the area, dipping off to resume their search.

Everything looked so dead from the inside out.

A scream tore through the vast emptiness, causing Jungkook to trip over his own feet and he came crashing to the ground. Jimin was immediately beside him, grabbing him by the arm and hoisting him back up. Jungkook’s heart pounded double-time in his chest; it hurt. A cold sweat broke out over his skin and he couldn’t stop his body from trembling, even though Jimin rubbed small circles on his back.

“E-Eden,” he barely managed to croak, his legs shaking to the point where it was difficult to stand. Jimin continued to hold him up. “That was her!”

The sound was close.

Jimin said nothing. He continued to guide them along the path, turning around corners until he heard his wife scream again. It was even closer. They were almost to her!

He felt his brother release the hold he had on him and Jungkook involuntarily sagged against the side of a building. He didn’t know where they were or how deep into the district they’d gone. Jimin’s expression was focused and if he was feeling any sort of turmoil, it never showed. Not once.

The building they were pressed against was yellowed from age and neglect. Numerous cracks ran along the sides and bits of paint were peeling back; some pieces flying away from even the slightest gust of wind. The window had a long crack running from an upward angle to the corner of the pane; dirty and smudged. Jimin wiped a hand across the bottom to get rid of the dirt so he could see inside. Jungkook sidled up beside him to peek in as well.

He could feel Jimin’s vice-like grip on his shoulder, pinning him in place. Jungkook’s vision blurred momentarily before regaining focus, zeroing in on the image of his wife strung up like some animal. There were a few lackeys around and appeared to be bored – as if they were waiting for something interesting to happen. Jungkook felt the muscle at his jaw throbbing viciously as he clenched his teeth, grinding them in anger.

He wanted a gun. He would have emptied a clip into every single one of them.

Jungkook tried to move, but Jimin wouldn’t let him go.

“Hyung!” came his harsh whisper, but Jimin shook his head roughly.

“Wait, Jungkook,” he hissed back, finally letting him go, “just wait.”

“I can’t, dammit!”

“You can and you will.” Jimin’s words were final. “We don’t even know what kind of weapons they have in there. If Changkyun’s willing to play dirty like this, there’s no guarantee that his men won’t fill us full of holes with guns they obtained illegally.”

Jungkook wanted to protest, but he knew that Jimin was right. They needed to assess the situation fully before making a move. If they ran in there blindly without understanding what they were up against, there was a chance that Eden would die in the crossfire.

“So what now?”

Jimin continued to look through the window and he could see the wheels in his head turning. Strategy was his strongest suit so Jungkook did his best to be as patient as possible. A handful of seconds passed before he turned to meet his gaze.

“I’m going to go in from the front.”

“What?!” Jungkook gave him an incredulous look. “That’s crazy. Are you crazy?!”

“Shut-up and listen to me.” Jimin turned to look back through the window. “I’m going to draw their attention to me. This window is loose so as soon as I get them to chase me, I want you to go in and grab Eden and then get the hell out of here.”

He didn’t like this plan.

“There’s ten of them, Hyung. Maybe more. You can’t outrun them all.”

Jimin grinned, still peering into the building. “I can try.”

Jungkook grabbed his shoulder. “Hyung!”

He felt his arm being yanked off abruptly, causing him to take a step back. Jimin cast an icy glare in his direction.

“Do what I say.”

He wanted to protest again. He wanted to tell him that this was suicide. They should wait for the others. Wouldn’t that have been the smart thing?

But if they waited too long, then they may miss their chance. The Jade Fangs could probably swarm them, call for more men, and then overtake them completely. Jungkook knew that the plan was the best option they had right now.

It didn’t mean he had to like it.

Without waiting for him to agree or even disagree, Jimin turned and ran down one side of the building. He rounded the corner and disappeared on the other side, leaving Jungkook alone to wait. There was a distinct feeling of dread sweeping over him, telling him that there was danger to watch out for. But wasn’t that obvious? Didn’t they understand that, knowingly showing up to this place?

This was unavoidable.

A loud bang rang out inside the large interior. Jungkook peered over the bottom of the window, craning his neck as best he could. Light flooded into the dark space as he watched Jimin’s shadow stretching along the floor. All the men inside turned around, grabbing what weapons they had near them to launch an assault. Jimin immediately dispatched one of the lackeys close to the door before turning to run away from the building. All but two gave chase.

Now!

Jungkook thrust the window open, causing it to break further from the force. He leaped in through the opening and charged forward. Taking advantage of the momentary distraction caused by his entrance, Jungkook barreled into the man closest to him – taking him down with a swift grappling throw. The man landed on his head; a distinct crack heard from his skull smacking into the concrete.

He saw movement out of the corner of his eye, a flash of silver, and he dodged at the last second. Whirling his body around, he jumped back with his arms extended out as another man tried to hit him with a metal bat. Jungkook bobbed and weaved out of the way, moving just out of reach at the last possible moment. Pivoting on his back leg, he waited for the man to try to swing at him again before catching the bat in his hand and pulling it toward him. The man slid on his heels, the distance closing rapidly. Jungkook aimed a kick straight for his stomach and sent him flying.

He brought the bat down over the man’s head for good measure.

With the two men unconscious, Jungkook swerved around and ran toward Eden. He did his best to avoid looking at her injuries, not wanting to distract himself from the most important task he had: freeing her. As he looked at her restraints, he did his best to concentrate on her face. She was semi-conscious, the noise bringing her out of whatever fugue state she was in.

“J-Jungkook-ah?” She coughed. “Y-You shouldn’t be here…”

“Shh,” he admonished, his eyes flicking over her bindings, “save your strength.”

His hands moved with lightning speed, fidgeting over the ropes and chains binding her as she hung from a large hook attached to the ceiling. When he finally managed to loosen the ropes, he lifted her up by her waist so he could untether her from the hook. Her arms dangled limply around his neck; the chains clamped around her wrists jingling together with the sudden movement.

Her body lacked the strength to keep herself upright and she nearly collapsed to the ground. Jungkook held fast to her, moving her arms over his head so he could undo the chains around her wrists. He could tell she’d lost weight and she seemed almost a shell of who he knew her to be. He focused on getting her to safety – choosing to smother his fury into the pit of his stomach.

“Go,” she whispered as he held onto her, “get out of here.” She coughed again. “Leave me.”

“Not a chance in hell,” he snapped, draping her arm over his shoulder as he held onto her waist, “now come on.”

Jungkook wouldn’t hear anymore of this nonsense, even if it was coming from the woman he loved. She was barefoot, but there wasn’t any glass on the ground. If she didn’t think she’d be able to walk, he’d carry her on his back and dare her to say otherwise.

Shuffling toward the entrance, he could hear men yelling in the distance. But it sounded like it was getting closer. Jimin was circling back, probably to make sure that they’d gotten out. If they could hold out a little longer, the others would come and then they could cause a big enough scene to get the hell out.

Just as he reached the entryway, he turned to make sure the two men he’d dealt with were still on the ground. Satisfied that they weren’t going to be getting up anytime soon, he turned back toward the exit.

A shadow moved from the corner. Eden saw it before he did. Jungkook shuffled to the left. He was half a step short.

The pain didn’t register at first. All he could focus on was Yoo Kihyun who was now directly in his path to freedom. It wasn’t until he saw the older man take a step forward that Jungkook took a step back. But not of his own freewill. He was forced to step back.

The knife in his gut pushed him to move.

Eden screamed but he barely heard it. Jungkook nearly dropped her, but his stubbornness wouldn’t allow her to fall. Not in front of him; her captor. A chilling smile painted over Kihyun’s face as he tilted his head, peering into Jungkook’s eyes. It was like he was asking him what his next move would be without having to say it out loud. For a split second, Jungkook’s vision blurred.

Releasing the hold he had on Eden’s arm, he grabbed a hold of the knife and pushed back – pulling the blade slowly from his gut. Kihyun blinked in surprise at him, watching as he drew the older man’s arm away from his body while still holding his wife fast to him. Again, Eden screamed, but this time she moved with whatever strength was left in her body – arms reaching out in a feral manner.

She scratched her nails across Kihyun’s face, forcing him to reach up and cover his cheek. Jungkook stepped forward, pulling the knife completely from his stomach, before spinning it in his blood-soaked fingers to grasp the blade’s handle. Kihyun stumbled backward a step and Jungkook quickly closed the distance, plunging the knife directly into his shoulder and aiming a kick to his knee. He waited for him to hit the dirt before pulling Eden quickly behind him.

He didn’t have to express the need for urgency.

They both disappeared into a nearby cluster of reeds.

10:45 AM

Blood wept from the side of Jimin’s head as he rounded the corner of a building. He held onto a rusty metal pipe, clutching it at his side. He knew one of his ribs were broken, if not two, and there was a good chance he very nearly sprained his ankle hopping over a broken-down car to avoid being clobbered with a length of chain. He quickly did a tally in his head, making a note that he was able to knock down four of the eight that were chasing him. Two of them he tripped up along their pursuit and the rest were now trying to comb the nearby streets in search of him.

Hearing Eden’s scream forced him to double back toward the building where he’d left Jungkook. It wasn’t the sound of agony. It was of outrage. Something must have happened. He needed to get back to them and quickly.

Jimin wiped some of the sweat and blood from his head, spitting at the ground. Once his heart calmed down, he tried to ascertain his whereabouts. Just two buildings over and he’d be right back where he’d started.

Come on, Park Jimin. Calm down and focus.

His phone buzzed in his pocket and he fished it out, eyeing the screen. It was from Yoongi.

Yoongi: We’re almost there! Where are you guys? Give us a landmark!

Taking a moment to breathe, he turned his head in every direction to try and gauge a decent landmark for the others to follow. There was a cluster of blue barrels far away from the abandoned buildings, just toward the edge where a large field of reeds were. He quickly texted him back, letting him know the location.

He slid the phone back into his pocket, gripping the metal pipe in both hands. Now he just needed to get back to Jungkook who, he hoped, had Eden in tow.

His phone buzzed again; this time in succession. Someone was calling him.

Dipping into a nearby building, he hunkered down in a shadowed corner to look at the phone. It was Jungkook. He answered.

“Jungkook-ah?”

“H-Hyung…”

Jimin could tell something was wrong.

“Where are you?”

“T-The…the reeds…”

He had to refrain from cursing. There were reeds in every direction. He took a breath to calm his nerves.

“What else do you see around you?”

There was a pregnant pause and he wondered if something was happening with the call.

Jimin-ah?”

It was Eden. His heart practically jumped into his throat.

“Oh, thank God he got you out. Are you alright?”

“Never mind that. Jungkook’s hurt.”

He could hear the frantic tone in her voice. Jimin tried to smooth his voice out in a way that would help take the edge off for her.

“Okay, just breathe. Can you tell me where you guys are right now?”

“I can’t really see anything. The reeds are so thick.”

“Can you see any barrels around you?”

“Hold on.”

It was only a few seconds, but Jimin felt like he was losing years off his life as he waited for her to answer.

“I can see some blue ones. But they’re far away.”

He resisted the urge to smile. They weren’t that far from his current location.

“How far?”

“Several yards. They’re across that dirt path.”

“Okay, good.” His side screamed at him from the position he was in, but he ignored it. “I want you to meet me there, okay?”

It sounded like she was about to sob which unnerved him.

“Can’t you just come here? Jungkook’s hurt badly and I don’t have the strength to carry him.”

Jimin hissed quietly to himself. I told him to be careful… He took a breath. “Alright, I’ll come to you. I’ll be there soon.”

“Hurry!”

Ending the call, Jimin slipped out the back of the building and made his way around the next bend. Part of him wanted to throw the pipe off in a different direction, hoping the noise would distract others away from his path. But if they got flanked, he’d need a way to defend Eden, Jungkook, and himself. Especially if Jungkook was as hurt as Eden claimed he was.

This isn’t good, he thought, tearing through the back alleyway and heading up the side of the street to disappear into the thicket of reeds.

10:57 AM

Even though he knew he’d only traveled a few blocks, it felt like he’d been moving for miles. Each turn he made, Jimin thought he was getting more and more lost. Every so often, he’d turn his head to look over his shoulder and spy out the buildings – making sure that he was still on a straight path to the others. He heard some of the other men shouting at each other, trying to figure out where they’d gone, and each of these times, Jimin would pause so that he didn’t give away his position.

Just as he was about to resume his search, he heard a distinct shuffling sound off to his right. It was close.

“J-Jimin-ah? Is that you?”

It was Eden. She sounded exhausted and halfway to the underworld, but it was her. Jimin quickly darted in the direction of her voice, parting the reeds in front of him as he went.

A lump of ice dropped in his stomach at what he saw.

There, cradled in her arms, was Jungkook. A large blood stain blossomed from his shirt and he saw Eden pressing his jacket to his stomach and putting pressure on the injury. She was crying, doing her best to keep her sobs nonexistent so they didn’t alert the others of where they were. She looked up, relief and despair battling for dominance over her features. Jimin dropped the pipe in his hands, his legs slowly carrying him toward Jungkook just as he spit up blood from his mouth.

“J-Jungkook-ah,” he stammered, collapsing to his knees.

Despite the obvious pain he was in, Jungkook flashed him a smile full of blood-stained teeth. “H-Hyung,” he managed to get out, albeit garbled from a mouthful of blood, “what took you so long?”

Jimin didn’t have the energy to snap back. He felt like part of his soul just left him completely. His eyes roved over Jungkook’s body, trying to figure out the cause of his brother’s current state. He lifted his gaze to meet Eden’s.

“What happened?”

“It was Kihyun,” she said weakly while brushing some of the fringe off of Jungkook’s forehead, “he came out of nowhere and—”

“That doesn’t matter,” Jungkook interjected, causing them both to focus on him, “Hyung, get her out of here.”

Another piece of his soul was pulled away.

“W-What?”

Eden shifted him in her arms, clinging to him in desperation. “I’m not leaving you!”

“Yes, you are.” Jungkook reached up to his neck, grabbing the necklace and popping it off in one quick motion. He smeared blood over his skin and clothes, holding it up for Eden. “Take it and go.”

She emphatically shook her head and Jimin could tell that even doing this was zapping her of what strength she had left.

“You bastard,” she muttered, curling her fingers into the fabric of his jacket, “how can you expect me to leave you? Huh?” Eden lowered herself, pulling him against her body to hug him close. “Till death do us part, remember?”

Jungkook did his best to wrap an arm around her, coughing more blood out and staining her shirt. “…and this…is where…we part.”

Eden shot back, looking down at Jungkook as tears streamed down her face, dripping onto his cheeks.

“J-Jungkook,” she stammered, her bottom lip trembling as her voice shook.

Again, he smiled up at her. “I love you, Eden.” He grabbed her hand and placed the necklace inside her palm, closing her fingers over it. “If…if I’m reborn, let me love you in the next life too, okay?”

Jimin could hear his own heart shattering in his chest.

“Hyung…take her and go.”

“But Jungkook-ah—”

“Please.”

Tears leaked out of Jimin’s eyes. It took everything he had, but he stood up and crossed over to where Eden was. She continued to hold onto her husband, refusing to let go even as Jimin tried to pull her up and onto her feet. She fought him but even she knew that she didn’t have the strength to keep it up. Jimin held her against him and they both gazed at the satisfied and peaceful expression on Jungkook’s face. He nodded to them, mouthing for them to go.

Jimin turned, hauling Eden with him as she wailed silently into the crook of his shoulder.

I’ll come back for you, Jungkook. I won’t leave you alone out here...

11:05 AM

He knew that it was only a few minutes since he watched Eden and his brother leave. In those few minutes, Jungkook believed it was several lifetimes. In those few minutes, he thought back to everything that led to this very moment. All the choices he’d made, the road he’d traveled, and the people he’d traveled on that road with along the way.

He regretted nothing up until that moment.

The only thing he knew he would have to repent for would be leaving his beautiful wife behind alone. They’d had a few chapters written in their life together, but they were pages filled with hopes and dreams for an uncertain future. Life never gave guarantees. The only certainty for life was death. It was the same for everyone.

The sun was reaching its peak over the skies. There were very little clouds littering the pale blue blanket above him and he wasn’t sure if it was the bright light that was making it difficult to see or something else. Jungkook lost feeling to the lower half of his body nearly two minutes earlier.

Again, he coughed and more blood sprayed from his mouth. Tears brimmed his eyes, slipping from the corners to seep into his ears.

My brothers…

Jungkook could feel his eyelids growing a little heavier with each passing second, but he forced them to stay open.

Eden…

But the darkness began to creep around the corners of his vision, blurring out the light until it was a faint glow in his line of sight.

He wanted to keep feeling the warmth of the sun on his face until the very end.

…until we meet again.

24 notes · View notes

itisannak · 5 years ago

Text

List of prompts

I have put together a list of 467 prompts, which I have divided into 6 categories (Sleep, Angst, Love, 100 ways to say I love you, General, Sexual). You are welcome to request multiple prompts for one story (combine as many as you want). It is very easy to request; first, give me the category, then the number of the prompt(s), the guy you want the story to be with, and the genre of the story (angst, fluff, smut) Example: “From the love category, number 38 with Luke, make it smut.” (Disclaimer: I did not create any of the prompts. I retrieved them from the following tumblrs; rfaimagining, blissfulparket, p0ck3tf0x)

Sleep Prompts (44) 1."The bed is cold without you" 2."I can't sleep, you've been gone too long" 3."Don't be nervous, you can come closer" 4."I'm sorry my bed is so old." 5."My dog...she takes up half the bed, I can kick her off if you w—" "no, I like it" 6."Carry me up to bed?" 7."I've been living off of coffee for two days I deserve to sleep!" 8."Can we at least still sleep in the same bed?" 9."When you sleep, you snore." 10."You look so much softer, so much calmer, I wish you could see yourself as you sleep."

11."I took NyQuil instead of DayQuil on accident and now I'm about to pass out." 12."We could...take a nap together?" 13."Sleeping with you was the best sleep I've gotten in years." 14."I-I miss your arms around me as I slept, I know it's embarrassing but you made me feel safe." 15."You sleep with the stuffed animal I got you?" "Of course" 16."Your pillow smells like lavender" 17."If Heaven was a place on earth it would be you in bed wearing this right now and telling me stories until we pass out." 18."What is that noise?" "I have to listen to ocean sounds to help me sleep" 19."Is it possible to sleep for two days?" 20."I think your hair is cute when you wake up. If only you could see it the way I did."

21."Goodnight love, I'll see you in my dreams." 22."It's strange I always dream of you when you're in my arms...I also don't want it to stop." 23."You're so soft, if I could ever touch the clouds, this is what they'd feel like." 24.waking up to the other counting freckles on their face 25."I know it's embarrassing I still sleep with a Night light" 26."And then I was—oh, goodnight dear." 27."The prince/princess needs their beauty sleep" 28."I have had nightmares every night for the past three weeks and now they're gone because of you, how did you do that?" 29."You smell like vanilla." 30."The sheets are warm!"

31."I got us new pillows." 32."You should see yourself when it's 12am and the moon comes in and hits your face just right, you have a soft natural highlight at the tip of your nose and all your features come out. It's like your skin is working right in front of me." 33."Will you carry me to bed?" 34."One night, just one, I pray we can sleep on our own." 35."This is embarrassing but I had a bad dream and back home when this happens I normally just crawl into bed with my mom or sister but since they're not here anymore can I sleep with you?" 36."Keep talking, your voice helps me sleep." 37."I've spent all my nights dreaming of you in my arms peacefully sleeping and here you are." 38."Stop moving into trying to sleep" 39."It's just a nightmare, it's nothing real." 40."You should sleep in my bed more often."

41."Sorry, were you sleeping?" 42."You nap, I'll stay awake" 43."Are you awake?" 44."I had a nightmare about you and I just wanted to make sure you're okay."

Angst: (44) 1."Give me a chance." 2."Not you again..." 3."Leave me alone." 4."I don't love you anymore." 5."Why do you hate me?" 6."I lost the baby." 7."I thought you loved me." 8."I don't need you anymore." 9."I can't believe you!" 10."We can't keep this up forever."

11."You're a monster." 12."I hate you." 13."Don't leave me..." 14." You're a disappointment." 15."Don't die on me– Please." 16."I never meant to hurt you." 17." Are you upset with me?" 18."I wish I'd never met you." 19."I'm going to kill you!" 20." Please don't hurt me like this."

21."Thanks for nothing." 22."Don't call this number again." 23."Why did you spare me?" 24."You need to leave." 25."I'm sick." 26."I'm dying." 27."I wish I'd never met you." 28."I thought we were family!" 29."There was never an us." 30."So that's it? It's over?"

31."I fucked up." 32."I came to say goodbye." 33." He's dead because of you." 34."I don't deserve to be loved." 35." About the baby... It's yours." 36."I...I think I may be pregnant" 37."Am I not good enough for you anymore?" 38."We're not just friends and you fucking know it." 39."I swear, there is nothing going on between us!" 40."You almost fainted."

41."Do you want me to leave?" 42."I swear it won't happen again." 43."You can't die. Please don't die." 44."I'm not good enough for you."

Love: (75) 1."I'm so in love with you." 2."Dance with me!" 3."Isn't this amazing?" 4."I wish we could stay like this forever." 5."Will you marry me?" 6."I'm pregnant." 7."I need a hug." 8."You're special to me." 9."I'm going to keep you safe." 10."Do you trust me?"

11. "Can I kiss you right now?" 12."You're cute when you're angry." 13."I've liked you for a while now." 14." Let's have a baby." 15." We'd make such a cute couple." 16."I want to take care of you." 17."Can we cuddle?" 18."It's lonely here without you." 19."I can't stand the thought of losing you." 20." Shut up and kiss me already."

21."Are you flirting with me?" 22."Is that my shirt?" 23."How did we get here?" 24."You own my heart." 25."You'd be a great dad." 26."You'd be a great mom." 27."I want to protect you." 28."What's the matter?" 29."You're so beautiful." 30."Did you do something different with your hair?"

31. "Is that a new perfume?" 32."Stop being so cute." 33."You're making me blush!" 34."You're teasing me again..." 35."This is why I fell in love with you." 36."You're the best!" 37."They're going to love you, don't worry!" 38."Oh, Are you ticklish?" 39."Of course, I remembered!" 40."You're one hell of a girl."

41. "You're one hell of a guy." 42"Are you jealous?" 43."Hold me and never let me go." 44."Stop hogging all the blankets!" 45."Let's run away together." 46."I love you more than I even realized was possible." 47."We've been married 5 years and you still make my heart race." 48."Will you shut up a moment and let me kiss you." 49."I just wanted to see you." 50."I think I'm in love with you, and that scares the crap out of me."

51."What if I told you I've been in love with you since we were kids." 52."Why can't stop thinking about you? " 53."I've been thinking about you all day." 54."Can't you stay a little longer?" 55."I could hold you forever." 56."You've learned how to dance... For me?" 57."I'm not staring, I'm admiring." 58."You are my sun and moon." 59."What? Can't I just look at you?" 60."I don't ever wanna lose you."

61."I'll drive you home." 62."I left something in your purse." 63."You look pretty tonight." 64."I'm sorry, what? I keep getting lost in your eyes." 65."I've been in love with you my entire life. Ever since the day I first met you." 66"I'm going to take care of you, okay?" 67."I shouldn't be in love with you." 68."I think I've been holding myself from falling in love with you all over again." 69."These stars are nothing compared to the ones I've seen in your eyes." 70."Before I do this, I need you to know that I have always loved you."

71."I am not losing you again!" 72."When I picture myself happy... It's with you." 73."Look, I don't have much time, but I wanted to say I love you." 74."You are the single best thing that has ever happened to me." 75."I adore you."

100 ways to say I love you 1."Pull over. Let me drive for a while." 2."It reminded me of you." 3."No, no, it's my treat." 4."Come here. Let me fix it." 5."I'll walk you home." 6."Have a good day at work." 7."I dreamt about you last night." 8."Take my seat." 9."I saved a piece for you." 10."I'm sorry for your loss."

11."You can have half." 12."Take my jacket, it's cold outside." 13."Sorry I'm late." 14."Can I have this dance?" 15."I made your favorite." 16."It's okay. I couldn't sleep anyway." 17."Watch your step." 18."Here, drink this. You'll feel better." 19."Can I hold your hand?" 20."You can borrow mine."

21."You might like this." 22."It's not heavy. I'm stronger than I look." 23."I'll wait." 24."Just because." 25."Look both ways." 26."I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." 27."Try some." 28."Drive safely." 29."Well, what do you want to do?" 30."One more chapter."

31."Don't worry about me." 32."It looks good on you." 33."Close your eyes and hold out your hands." 34."That's okay, I bought two." 35."After you." 36."We'll figure it out." 37."Can I kiss you?" 38."I like your laugh." 39."Don't cry." 40."I made this for you."

41."Go back to sleep." 42."Is this okay?" 43."I picked these for you." 44."I'll drive you to the hospital." 45."What do you want to watch?" 46."You can go first." 47."Did you get my letter?" 48."I'll do it for you." 49."Call me when you get home." 50."I think you're beautiful."

51."Are you sure?" 52."Have fun." 53."Sit down, I'll get it." 54."I made reservations." 55."I don't mind." 56."It brings out your eyes." 57."There is enough room for both of us." 58."You don't have to say anything." 59."Wow." 60."Happy birthday."

61."I'll pick it up after work." 62."It can wait until tomorrow." 63."Cross my heart and hope to die." 64."It's two sugars, right?" 65."I'll help you study." 66."Stay over." 67."I did the dishes." 68."You didn't have to ask." 69."I bought you a ticket." 70."You're warm."

71."No reason." 72."I'll meet you halfway." 73."Take mine." 74."We can share." 75."I was just thinking about you." 76."I want you to have this." 77."Call me if you need anything." 78."Do you want to come too?" 79."I'll still be here when you're ready." 80."Is your seatbelt on?"

81."Sweet dreams." 82."I was in the neighborhood." 83."Stay there. I'm coming to get you." 84."The key is under the mat." 85."It doesn't bother me." 86."You're important too." 87."I saved you a seat." 88."I'll see you later." 89."I noticed." 90."You can tell me anything."

91."I hope you like it." 92."I want you to be happy." 93."I believe in you." 94."You can do it." 95."Good luck." 96."I brought you an umbrella." 97."I'll pick you up at the airport." 98."Take a deep breath." 99."Be careful." 100."I love you."

General: (113) 1."You made me cookies?" 2."You stole what?" 3."A dragon ate your homework?" 4."I am not pregnant." 5."Oh come on you would have murdered that guy." 6."The stars are pretty tonight, aren't they?" 7."Have you ever seen something as cool as this?" 8."I know you love me and all but stop threatening the doctor." 9."I shit you not." 10."My man, I am high as a kite right now. And you are so pretty. And in the morning I'll be sober and you will still be soooo pretty..."

11."You aren't leaving here without telling me who hurt you so I can take out a can of whoop as and unleash it in their ass." 12."You just kissed me." 13."But you hate avocados..." 14."Hold up- just stop- just- what are you actually doing? It's 2 A.M." 15."I wanna travel and fuck you in every city we go to." 16."We're holding hands now." 17."Give me a little more... Just a little more..." 18."I just like proving you wrong." 19."Just pretend to be my date." 20."I'm not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention."

21."You fainted, straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention, you didn't have to go to such extremes." 22."We're in the middle of a thunderstorm and you want to stop and feel the rain?" 23."Catch me if you can!" 24."I'm fine." 25."Are you drunk?" 26."Are you high? " 27."We can't go in there..." 28."Give it back!" 29."Well, this is just great." 30."Don't touch me."

31."Not sure if you could tell, but I'm not exactly a people person." 32."This was fun— Let's do it again sometime!" 33."I didn't do it!" 34."I did it..." 35."I don't remember that!" 36."Well, that's pretty rude of you to say." 37."Get that thing away from me!" 38."You owe me." 39."Do you believe in aliens?" 40."Do you believe in ghosts?"

41."Are you hitting on me?" 42."Why are you naked?" 43."You did what?!" 44."You have... Superpowers?" 45."Why are you bleeding?" 46."Where did all these puppies come from?" 47."Don't make me come over there myself!" 48."That wasn't funny." 49."This tastes horrible." 50."This is delicious!"

51."Are you mad at me?" 52."Stop ignoring me..." 53."I love that show too!" 54."Can I borrow that book of yours?" 55"Let's blow this joint." 56."Let me help you with that." 57."Take that back!" 58."Wanna go see a movie with me?" 59."No way, that's so lame." 60."What are you listening to?"

61."I brought you your coffee." 62."Don't fuck this up." 63."Run!" 64."Let's. run away together." 65."I haven't slept in four days..." 66."Your turn to do the dishes." 67."Was I really that drunk?" 68."Was I really that stoned?" 69."Give me back my phone!" 70."You're an asshole."

71."Are you cold?" 72."This place gives me the creeps." 73."I swear my house is haunted." 74."Did you hear that?" 75."It's just your imagination." 76."Just how stupid do you think I am?" 77."Stop being such a baby." 78."Go back to bed." 79."Are you okay?" 80."I can take care of myself just fine."

81."Thanks for helping me back there." 82."Since when have we ever been friends?" 83."What on earth are you wearing?" 84."I can't feel my legs!" 85."Stop texting me weird stuff so late at night." 86."Put me down!" 87."There's only one bed..." 88."It isn't what it looks like! Okay... Maybe it is..." 89."How did I lose it?" 90."I read your diary."

91."This is awkward." 92."Didn't you read the sign?" 93."Do you think you can teach me that?" 94."Oh, my God, what are you? Five?" 95."Let's fucking dance." 96."Go get your stuff ready." 97."Be good for me while I am gone." 98."Baby, can you help me with some work." 99."All you had to do was ask" 100."Five more minutes"

101."You're stuck with me." 102."If you insist." 103."Your hand is on my ass." 104."You're not going out in that outfit." 105."Since my dog likes you, then I guess I like you." 106."You're staring again." 107."Babe, I'm never gonna finish this work if you keep doing that" 108."Like what you see?" 109."Try to stay quiet, baby..." 110."I like it when you say my name like that."

111."If we get caught I'm blaming you" 112."Looks like I've found your weakness." 113."Say that again."

Sexual: (91) 1."Bite me." -("If you insist") 2."Make me." 3."Fuck me." 4."Stop teasing me so much..." 5."Do you like it when I touch you like that?" 6."Okay.. This is new." 7."Want to head back to my place and have a little fun?" 8."You're in trouble now." 9."What a pretty sight." 10."Bend over."

11."On your knees." 12."The food looks great but... There's something much more delicious I'd like to eat right now." 13."Lay back." 14."Take off your clothes." 15."Well, fine; just this once." 16."I'm waiting." 17."You're so beautiful." 18."As you wish." 19."First one to make a noise loses." 20."You have no idea what you do to me."

21."If you're bored; Wanna have sex?" 22."I've wanted this for so long." 23."Car sex looks so much easier in the movies." 24."Can I touch you?" 25."Open up." 26."No strings attached. " 27."Already? Do I really have that much of an effect on you?" 28."Mine." -("Say it again") 29."The nights still young." 30."We cant do that here!"

31."Behave." 32."What did you just say?" 33."Good girl." 34."Good boy." 35."Come here." 36."You are mine. Do you understand me?" 37."You sure want to go there, princess?" 38."Well, I make the rules." 39."Why don't you use that smart mouth of yours for something else?" 40."Go to your/our room and wait for me."

41."Are you trying to get spanked, little girl?" 42."You are mine and just mine." 43."What am I going to do with you?" 44."Good girl." 45."Take your panties off." 46."You are so tight, babygirl." 47."Daddy loves it when you do that." 48."Can I please cum?" 49."I knooooow, it's supposed to hurt." 50."Just say the magic words and you will have all you desire, kitten."

51."Are you done checking me out?" 52."Stop biting that fucking lip, it's so distracting and hot!" 53."God, you're hot." 54."You're so fucking hot when you're mad." 55."I've never wanted anyone to fuck me this badly." 56."Don't make me take you home and punish you." 57."You're more than just a one-night stand." 58."You're not wearing anything under that, are you...?" 59."Are you trying to turn me on right now or are you really just that oblivious?" 60."I will ride you until I break you, you are mine and mine alone."

61."Who said it had to be on the bed?" 62."Open those legs. I want a taste." 63."How bad do you want me to fuck you? Hmm? Beg for it." 64."I can't stop thinking about your hands on me." 65."Fuck, you look so hot with my cock in your mouth." 66."I could just pull your bikini bottoms to the side, no one would even notice" 67."Leave the heels on, baby. Just the heels, though." 68."Could he make you feel as good as I do?" 69."Did you just smack my ass?" -"You weren't complaining last night." 70."Take. It. Off."

71."What if someone sees?" 72."I like the way you beg for it...do it again." 73."Quiet, love. You don't want the others to hear you moaning like that, do you?" 74."All this dirty talk is going to get you in trouble." 75."I was bad, Daddy..." 76."Don't bother wearing panties." 77."This is for your eyes only." 78."Teasing me will get you doomed." 79."We're in public, you know." 80."Stop teasing so much" -"Make me."

81."Either take it off, or I will happily do it for you." 82."I don't care what you do just as long as you do me." 83."Were you just touching yourself?" -'Yeah, what are you gonna do about it?' 84."Do you think they could hear us?" -'Yes we can.' 85."We're just...friends." -'Friends don't do this type of shit!' 86."How quickly can you cum?" 87."The only way you are gonna get off is on my thigh." 88."Tell me how you want it." 89."There's no way I'm gonna let you wear that in public" -'Why not?' -"Cause It would be a shame to rip it off in front of a hundred people, such nice material." 90."Shut up." -'Well, why don't you come over here and make me?' 91."Everyone keeps telling me you're the bad guy."

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shipmistress9 · 5 years ago

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FTLOAP: Chapter 46: I’ll Make It Up To You

Fandom: HTTYD

Theme: Hiccstrid - Medieval-style AU - Romance - Angst/Hurt/Comfort

Summary: Reduced to little more than a stable boy, Hiccup, despite his noble birth, has few prospects for more in life. But when he meets a girl who came to look at the horses, being a stable boy might not be enough anymore. Together, they have tough choices to make and great risks to navigate if they want to survive and be together.

Rating: Explicit

FF-net - AO3 -

Discord-server for discussions and questions

Part 1: Prologue; Chapter 1; Chapter 2; Chapter 3; Chapter 4; Chapter 5; Chapter 6; Chapter 7; Chapter 8; Chapter 9; Chapter 10; Chapter 11;

Part 2: Chapter 12; Chapter 13; Chapter 14; Interlude 1; Chapter 15; Chapter 16; Chapter 17; Chapter 18; Chapter 19; Chapter 20; Chapter 21; Chapter 22; Chapter 23; Chapter 24; Chapter 25; Chapter 26; Interlude 2; Chapter 27: Chapter 28 ; Chapter 29 ; Chapter 30; Chapter 31; Chapter 32; Interlude 3; Bonus 1; Chapter 33

Part 3: Chapter 34; Chapter 35; Chapter 36; Interlude 4; Chapter 37; Chapter 38; Chapter 39; Chapter 40; Interlude 5; Chapter 41; Chapter 42; Chapter 43; Chapter 44, Chapter 45

Alpha/Co-author: @athingofvikings

Taglist: @drchee5e @hey-its-laura-again @thepixiedustfactory

. – * – _ . o O o . _ – * – .

AN: Yay, finally a new chapter! ^^ I'm truly sorry that I couldn't finish this as announced in November. But my daughter decided to come a little earlier than expected, throwing off many of our plans... We're both doing fine though. :)

This chapter... Is, for the most part, self-indulgent fluff. I hope you won't mind. ;) But there's also another bit, one I know many of you have been waiting for since forever. ;) The title comes, again, from an Imagine Dragons song, 'I'll make it up to you' this time. It's a rather fitting song for Hiccup right now, don't you think?

. o O o .

After their long discussion about how County Ravenledge could be claimed and improved, Astrid and the others having left, Hiccup was left with a chaotic whirlwind of emotions.

On the one hand, he was excited and elated by this apparently simple and direct solution to their problems. They had a plan, and if everything worked out, there was nothing in the way of him and Astrid being together. It would be a difficult path to follow, for sure, with the overwhelming prospect of ruling an entire county of people whose culture and customs he hardly knew. It was more than a bit intimidating, the more he thought about it, especially given the conditions of the place. But if that was what the Gods demanded of him, then he would do it.

But on the other hand... he was anxious, so much so that his hands wouldn’t stop clenching nervously, no matter what he did to distract himself. Eret, Dagur, and even Astrid seemed convinced that Grand Duke Oswald and the King would agree to give him the title without much resistance, but in the privacy of his own thoughts, he wasn’t so sure about that. Those powerful men knew about his life, knew enough to know how much of a failure he was, in pretty much every aspect. Why would they agree to support him so openly?

It wasn’t as if they could win anything out of this, could they?

Later, as he helped Eret get out of the elaborate and dust-and-sweat-fouled day-clothes he was wearing, he couldn’t keep from asking the question which had buzzed in his mind like a bee. “Why are you doing all this for us?”

With a pained groan, Eret laid back on his bed as Hiccup brought the bowl of warm water over from the hearth. It was essential to keep the wound on Eret’s chest as clean as possible, and since it was difficult for Eret to do so himself, it was Hiccup’s responsibility to help him. “What do you mean?” he replied, sounding puzzled and tired after a long exhausting day.

“Everything,” Hiccup said after a short pause, shrugging. “I understand that you care for Astrid and want to see her happy. But all this goes far beyond that. Supporting me in this… You know as well as I do how that could backfire and weaken you, politically I mean. So… why?”

The plan was that Astrid, Dagur, and Eret would speak with their fathers in the morning, during or possibly even before their common breakfast. It made sense, of course; it was better to wait until then instead of approaching them now in the middle of the night and dealing with them while they were grumpy. They’d talked for a long while and by now, half the castle had to be asleep already. But waiting until the morning to get the confirmation was hard. And even though Hiccup knew that Eret might have his own reasons for supporting him, reasons that wouldn’t necessarily convince the most powerful men and leaders of the Kingdom, he still hoped that his answer would ease his mind at least a little bit.

Eret chuckled, interrupted by the occasional wince as Hiccup cleaned the area around the cut on his chest. “Two reasons,” he eventually replied. “First: I know you. And I trust you. We trust you. You’re a good man, Hiccup, honest, reliable, and diligent. You’re going to be a good leader to those battered people. As Dagur said, it’ll take time. But I’m sure that, under your leadership, County Ravenledge and its people can thrive again. So supporting you is definitely not a waste of time or effort. It’s for the good of the people, and that’s what our main interest should be, right?”

Hiccup nodded, inwardly hoping that he could live up to this trust, these expectations. “And… the second reason?” he asked cautiously.

Eret sighed, his eyes falling closed. “The second reason is that we know only too well how it is to love without hope. Dag and I… we knew right from the start that our love had no future. We were prepared. But even though we always knew our time would be limited… Actually having it come to an end with the wedding just… just hurt! And even though we’ve got a reprieve of some sort now, we know it’ll end someday. Just thinking about it is driving me insane.” He paused and took a deep breath before letting it out again. “For you, it’s different though… for you, there’s hope. It might be a slim hope and the road to reach it will be hard, but it’s possible. So we want to help you in whatever way we can, simply because that is something we can do.”

Hiccup nodded again, putting the water away and handing Eret a piece of cloth to dry himself up. “Thank you,” he murmured. It was far too little to convey the gratitude he felt, but it was all he could come up with.

However, it seemed to be enough for Eret. “Anytime,” he replied in a light voice. “But now, you better leave. Tuff should be here any minute now. And I want to say ‘Have a good night’, but... but I’d rather it not get too good if you know what I mean, so…”

Hiccup was incredibly glad that he wasn’t facing Eret at the moment, that he wouldn’t notice the blush on his face. “Don’t worry,” he mumbled awkwardly. “I won’t risk losing her again.”

He hadn’t meant to say those last words out loud; they’d slipped off his lips before he’d been able to think about it. And, as expected, there was a confused frown on his cousin’s face when he turned back to face him. But since he didn’t ask, Hiccup didn’t feel obliged to explain himself and quickly changed the topic. “Is there anything else you need? Before I leave, I mean?”

Still frowning, Eret shook his head, so Hiccup quickly bid him good night and left the elaborate bedchamber.

Once the door closed behind him, Hiccup exhaled deeply. Eret’s brief explanation had soothed him, but only a little. His reasons were understandable enough, and Hiccup wanted to believe that, if the situation was reversed, he and Astrid would also do whatever they could to make it possible for Eret and Dagur to stay together. And as for the other reason… He could only hope that Eret was right and that he would be able to provide a better life for the people of Ravenledge one day.

If he even got the chance to try.

He’d been right, Eret hadn’t been able to provide him with the answer he longed for, but at least his words had settled his anxiety to a bearable level. But that helped to ease his chaotic emotions only so much. Because the excitement and anxiety over their plan had only been part of his emotional turmoil. The question about what the months and years to come would bring them was certainly important, but right now, the more immediate future was a little more pressing to him.

He’d promised Eret that there was no reason to be worried and he was dead set on keeping this promise, to Eret and to himself alike. But there were more facets to that promise than Eret thought.

Sticking to what Eret was concerned about and not having sex with Astrid until they were truly married wouldn’t be a problem. They’d managed relatively well so far, and the prospect of not having to wait two more years but only a couple of weeks would make holding out even easier. Theoretically, at least.

Practically though, just thinking about tonight – and if it worked as planned the following nights as well – made his entire body tingle in anticipation. Hours of being alone with Astrid, of being free to kiss and to hold her... Gods, how he missed feeling her soft body against his own, his hands exploring her, tasting her lips and her skin, listening to–

With a low groan, he shook his head, chasing those thoughts away. He couldn’t– no, mustn’t indulge in those fantasies! “Just a few weeks,” he reminded himself in a low whisper, biting his lip in the hope that the pain might help him focus. He had no confirmation of his fears on this matter, no certainty that their getting intimate before had somehow caused their separation. But he also couldn’t shake off the suspicion that that might have been the reason, that his overconfidence had angered the Gods and the temporary separation had been a warning. And he wouldn’t risk losing her again! Even if it meant going weeks or maybe even months without touching her like he wanted to – he would take that unresolved longing over possibly losing her forever at any time. He just hoped Astrid would understand his reticence.

Because on top of everything else, there was one other aspect that might make keeping his promise to Eret a little more complicated. Knowing Astrid, Hiccup suspected that she was going to disagree with him on this point, but he just knew that it was his fault she’d been through so much pain during the past weeks. If he hadn’t been so stupid, hadn’t given up too soon, hadn’t given in to his longing for her in the first place…

Sighing, he shook his head. No matter how much he wished it were otherwise, he couldn’t undo the past. But he was going to do everything to keep any more pain away from her from now on. And furthermore, it meant that he’d do everything she asked for, that he would follow her every wish. To make it up to her.

He was aware of the possible contradiction of these two urges, and his thoughts were still running in circles when Tuff appeared behind one of the elaborate tapestries a little while later. Hiccup rose as he silently beckoned him to follow. Just as Ruff had said, the passage was narrow and clearly didn’t get used regularly, with dust and cobwebs everywhere. But Hiccup didn’t pay much attention to the condition of the space, nervousness and anticipation settling in his stomach. At the end of this walk, he would see her again, be alone with her. And while he was unquestionably looking forward to it, his breath coming fast and even his bad leg moving without complaint in the cramped passageway, there was the point that, as so often before, the night would be a tough balancing act between what he wanted to do and what he had to do.

. o O o .

Agitatedly chewing on her lower lip, Astrid sat at the edge of her bed, her eyes glued to the door. Any minute now, Ruff would lead Hiccup in here. It wouldn't be long anymore, she knew that. But still, every single second of waiting felt like an eternity.

Gods, she was such a mess.

Ever since she’d overheard the Grand Dukes’ conversation earlier that day, all her thoughts had circled around County Ravenledge and how this could be the solution to their problem. But now that she’d presented this idea to Hiccup and their friends and they’d agreed on a plan, practical reality was catching up with her again.

She and Hiccup would spend the entire night together, and in contrast to that night after the ball where she’d fallen asleep in his arms, this time they wouldn’t be too exhausted to do… whatever they wanted to do. The thought made her heart beat faster and she balled her hands into fists to keep them from trembling, crumpling the blanket and her nightgown in the process. Gods, why was she so nervous? This wasn’t the first night she spent alone with him, after all.

But no, she wasn’t nervous. She was excited. And it was because she’d been with Hiccup before that she was so looking forward to this, couldn’t wait for him to finally be here.

What would the night bring?

Would this night be a loving reunion after these painful weeks, with slow caresses and exploring each other anew? She could picture it, softly entangled between the sheets of her bed, celebrating their love until the sun rose again.

Or would they jump right back to how it had been before, heated passionate kisses without preamble? She wouldn’t mind that either. Oh, how she longed for his touch and to feel again the exhilaration only he could bring her.

But maybe… maybe they would continue where they’d stopped more directly. If Hiccup remembered to bring that pot of scented oil, then… She sucked in a quick breath and bit down on her already slightly swollen lip to keep herself from moaning. All too well she remembered how it had felt to have his fingers inside her. Would he insist on preparing her again for tomorrow night or could they… jump right in? Heat rose to her cheeks, and she wondered whether she could manage to stay a little quieter or what Ruff and Tuff would say in the morning.

Although… there also was another option. Not that she expected this night to go that way, no certainly not. But maybe… it was a possibility, wasn’t it? Now that the solution for their problem was within reach, maybe they could even go a step further. They would be married in a few weeks – she vehemently refused to entertain the possibility that it could be otherwise. The date for her wedding was set, irrevocably. Nothing would delay or prevent that, her father had made that clear. Was that also true if an inspection by one of Freya’s Gythias revealed that her maidenhead was broken already? That could have happened at any time, during that accident on the ride for example. Or when she vowed to Fyrir Gothi herself that she’d never been intimate with anyone but Hiccup, her husband-to-be? That could work, couldn’t it? Nobody would want to risk a scandal, after all. So even if she fell pregnant tonight… that wouldn’t really matter, would it?

Astrid’s blood was boiling hotter and her throat went dry at that idea, her vision becoming a little blurry. Gods, why wasn’t Hiccup here already?

In the next moment, she nearly fell off her bed, her heart jumping into her throat and beating furiously, when a knock came from the door. Hastily, she scrambled to her feet, bare on the plush carpet, and called for Ruff to come in.

“Tuff brought something for you,” Ruff announced, smirking when she noticed Astrid’s state, and stepped aside to allow Hiccup behind her to enter. “I’d say I wish you a good night… but–”

“But I’d like to sleep for once,” came Tuff’s voice from somewhere behind her. It made Astrid blush even harder.

Snickering, Ruff shrugged. “There you go. See you two in the morning.” And with those words, she left, pulling the door closed behind her – and leaving Astrid and Hiccup alone in her bedroom.

A heavy silence fell over them, only interrupted by their audible breathing. This was truly happening. Hiccup was here, in her bedroom! A place where – except for the occasional exception of a healer or her actual brother – nobody but Ruff was allowed. Not even Tuff would enter this room without a damn good reason. And now, she was alone here with Hiccup, with the man she loved, the man she was going to marry. The man whose touch and closeness she craved beyond anything else.

And they had all night…

. o O o .

Hiccup barely noticed how the door closed behind Astrid’s maidservant. His head was entirely empty, wiped clean since the moment he’d entered. He’d expected that spending the night with Astrid would be intense, but just being here was so much more than he’d anticipated. This room, so personal with pictures and decorations that just screamed Astrid, the bed, so big and inviting, and Astrid herself, hair loosely bound in her usual nighttime braid and dressed in only a thin night shift – it all made for an incredibly heady atmosphere.

“Hey,” Astrid eventually breathed a little shyly after he’d done nothing but stare at her for... he couldn’t say how long. Long enough, probably.

“Hey.” Swallowing hard, Hiccup managed to reply in the same manner. If she’d hoped for more of a reaction though, he couldn’t help but disappoint her, unable to form coherent thoughts or even to move. His eyes lingered where they shouldn’t, on her parted lips, plush and inviting, begging him to kiss them, and on the curves of her breasts and hips barely hidden by the thin fabric around her.

Freya, how much he wanted her…

His mouth went dry, even swallowing again and licking his lips to wet them not helping in the slightest. He still knew he couldn’t let anything happen, not for real. But it was nigh on impossible to remember that when she slowly came closer, bright eyes filled with warmth and longing holding him hostage.

When she stretched to kiss him, her lips on his felt so soft, somehow softer even than only hours before or during the one night they'd spent together on Eret's couch. They drew a low groan from somewhere deep in his chest, and without his doing, his hands curled around her waist, pulling her closer. Her response robbed him of the last shred of coherence when her hands grabbed at his hair, fingernails scraping, and she tilted her head to deepen their kiss.

Hiccup momentarily lost track of everything. All that mattered was the feeling of her lips, the taste of her skin as his mouth wandered down her neck, and the lovely sound of her gasping his name into his ear, silk and lace bunched up between his fingers as he hurled her closer still. Gods, he'd missed this so much, this closeness and heat, the intimacy of reconnecting with the missing part of his soul, with her, and it felt so completely right.

How couldn’t it be right?

Somewhere in the back of his mind, a small voice was warning him, but it got lost in the flood of sensation she elicited when she gently but determinedly tugged him along. His thighs hit the edge of her bed and without really noticing he kicked off his shoes before they both tumbled onto the soft mattress.

It was all just a blur. They rolled around on the bed until she lay beneath him, her lithe body tight against his and her hand tugging at him until he was where she wanted him. Her hands were everywhere, in his hair, running down his sides, clutching at his back while her lips stole every coherent thought from his mind.

Hiccup shook with desire, her touches sending sparks like lightning strikes through his entire body. Heat pooled in his lower belly, so close to where he could feel her against him. Resisting her was impossible.

Astrid uttered the softest moans when his hands roamed over her body in return, making his head spin and the thin fabric wasn’t enough to keep him from feeling her inviting warmth. He couldn't get enough, was addicted to every noise and every sensation, now after their separation even more so than before. Leaning down, his mouth wandered down her neck, kissing and tasting her, feeling her heartbeat pulsing against his tongue.

A shudder ran through his body when he felt her touch on his bare back beneath his tunic, not hesitant at all where fingers dug into scarred skin. It reminded him of how scared he’d once been of how she would react to his mangled body, to the signs of his failures, and of how much he trusted her now.

But the reminder also brought a brief moment of clarity to his mind, making him realise what they were doing. He lay on top of Astrid on her bed, with her thin night shift making a poor job at covering her body – especially with the skirt bunched up somewhere around her hips and the neckline nearly dropping off her shoulders. With the way she gazed up at him through dazed eyes and that pink flush on her cheeks, she looked breathtakingly beautiful, almost agonizingly. All he wanted at that moment was to give in, to feel her eager touch on his skin, to let her take off his tunic like she was trying just now, and to not care about the consequences.

But he did care, and greatly so.

"No," Hiccup gasped, fighting to keep his clarity of mind and not give in to her oh so tempting touch. He shook his head as if to clear it and then rolled off her with a groan, hands moving to cover his face. "No, no, we can't… mustn't… no…"

Gods, he was an idiot! Why had he let it come this far when he’d known to be wary of the temptation? With brutal force, he pulled up the memory of how she’d looked when he’d left her standing in the armoury, of all the pain he’d put her through. No matter how sweet her skin tasted on his tongue, it wasn’t worth risking her being in such pain again.

Although, it might be too late already. He clearly remembered the pain and confusion on her face whenever he’d pulled away from her before, her insecurities and fear of rejection. Why, oh why, hadn’t he resisted right from the start? If he’d only kissed her without getting carried away and explained himself right away… But he hadn’t resisted, had given in to his desire so readily, and now, he’d done it again, had–

“What is it?”

Her voice pulled him out of his whirling thoughts like nothing else could.

He’d expected her to be disappointed and hurt, but there was none of that. Instead, she sounded mostly calm and even a little curious, throwing him off track completely.

Gulping, he lowered his hands, his eyes finding hers in an instant. They were big, her pupils dilated, and there was a distinct flush on her cheeks, her breath coming a little faster than was normal. But aside from those obvious signs of arousal, she seemed surprisingly composed.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered. “I didn’t mean to… to hurt you or reject you.”

“I know you didn’t,” she replied, her expression turning soft but also a little sad as her eyes dropped back to his lips for a heartbeat.

Hiccup swallowed again and sat up, turning around to better look at hero better talk to her. “You-you’re not… upset? That I wouldn’t...” Breaking off, he only nodded at her, her bare shoulders and neck so alluring that it was hard to even look at her.

Unintentionally taunting him further, she took a deep breath, her chest rising and falling with it, before she sat up as well. It made her shift slip even further down her arm, but she caught it before it could slip off completely and pulled it back up over her shoulder when she noticed him staring at exposed skin. When he looked up at her face again, she was smiling softly, her eyes gleaming.

“Hiccup, I know that you would never hurt me,” she said, that soft smile becoming even more beautiful somehow. “And I… I trust you, you know? In you and in our feelings, in our bond and our fate. Nothing will ever separate us again.” She frowned as if looking for the right words. “It’s… it sounds silly, I guess. Cocky. But I know that you... want me. There were times where I worried, yes, but those are over. So, if you refuse to touch me now… well, then I know it’s not because you don’t want to. I trust that you have a reason, something I just don’t get yet. But I also know that… I know that I can ask you everything. That I don’t need to be afraid or embarrassed, not ever. So… what is it?”

Hiccup could only gaze at her in awe, lips parting but unable to come up with a response. By the Gods, she was perfect! Once again he wondered what he’d done to deserve having her in his life.

Instead of answering, he leaned in and kissed her again. Maybe that wasn’t the wisest thing to do given how much his heart was still racing from their heated kiss only moments before. But he was more careful now, the kiss more controlled this time, fueled by gratitude and love instead of desire as he lifted his hand to cradle her face. She really was amazing. His thumb caressed her cheek as he ended the kiss and he instead leaned his forehead against hers. “I love you,” he whispered hoarsely.

Chuckling, Astrid retreated. “I love you too,” she replied, the warmth in her eyes almost enough to make him melt then and there. Then they lit up with a teasing spark. “But if that’s the reason why you retreated, then you’ll have to elaborate.”

Hiccup couldn't help but snort in amusement at her remark, even as he grimaced. He just hoped she would still be this understanding after he'd laid out his reasons. With a slight nod, he stood up, putting a little more space between them. He needed to explain himself and getting distracted by her closeness wouldn’t do him much good now.

"You're probably going to think I'm overreacting," he began, taking a few steps up and down her room. Casually, he looked around, taking in random details without really registering them. Doing anything just to not get distracted again. "But, this separation... Somehow, I feel like it was some kind of punishment. Or a warning maybe. I mean, sure, Cami said that what we did, getting intimate and all, wasn't against the rules. But even she can't know what the Gods really want." Hiccup paused, warily glancing over at her. But she didn't say anything, sitting at the edge of the high bed and watching him with her head cocked in confusion, so he quickly went on. "It's just… the timing, you know? Right before we were about to take that huge step and do anal sex, this… this major obstacle was thrown into our way.” Agitatedly, he threw his arms up, gesturing wildly. “And I'm having a tough time accepting that to only have been a coincidence. What if it was a sign instead? A sign that we're supposed to wait until we're truly married. Not just with actually having sex, but also with… well, with everything else.”

He could feel her disappointment now, even though she tried hard to not let it show. “Uh, okay?” she replied, a little insecurely. It was as if he could see the cogs in her head turning until she spoke again. “That’s… well, maybe you’re right, but…” She paused again, thinking, then shook her head. “I don’t think that makes much sense. I mean, it didn’t just happen because of what we did. Me getting married and all that, it had been planned for months, since just before the Midwinter ceremony.”

Hiccup nodded; she had a point, after all. But something about what she’d just said still poked at something in his mind. “Since before Midwinter?” How could she be sure about that?

“At least that’s what Eret mentioned,” she confirmed with a slight shrug. “Something about how Daniel had acted differently from one day to the other. Since that day you all went to meet Cami that first time, remember? He said that Daniel opted out of that visit at short notice and had a long talk with Father instead, and after that, his behaviour changed?”

Hiccup paled, his heart stuttering painfully. “That…” he muttered. “Gods, that’s even worse.” He took a few deep breaths to calm himself and tried to put order into his jumbling thoughts as it was clear that Astrid didn’t understand. “That night… Don’t you remember? That’s when we started. When Cami told me it would be all right to get intimate with you if we didn’t go too far and when you were waiting for me at the stables then, when we–”

“– when you made me come the first time,” she completed his sentence. There was understanding in her voice now, regret in her eyes.

He nodded again, gulping. “Exactly. And if that’s the night when your father decided to pull your wedding forward and to thwart all my plans to gain a title… Yeah, no, I really don’t believe that’s a coincidence!”

Astrid still didn’t seem convinced though. Chewing her lower lip, she slowly shook her head, thinking. “I don’t know, Hiccup. That’s just–”

“Exactly,” he interrupted her gently, stepping closer and reaching for her hand. “I don’t know either. But I’m not going to risk losing you again.”

At that, all her doubts and worries melted off her features and got replaced by something immeasurable softer. She pulled him closer and firmly intertwined her fingers with his. “You won’t lose me. Ever.”

Hiccup couldn’t help but return her soft smile, squeezing her hand but not replying directly. He wouldn’t take her or their future for granted again.

“So,” Astrid went on after a short pause, “what exactly does this mean now? Will you stay here tonight?”

Sighing, Hiccup nodded. Of course, strictly thinking even him being here and alone with her went far beyond what he should do. He should apologise to Astrid, thank her servants for their help, and leave, should not risk getting overwhelmed by temptation again. It would be the prudent thing to do. But even with all logical reasoning and pondering, there were things he simply couldn’t do – and staying away from Astrid was one of them.

“Yes, I will. I don’t know anymore which rules apply to us, so… Well, in that vision I had, the Goddess told me that I’d have to do what comes naturally to me. So I’ll just have to trust in my own judgement, I guess. And as long as we don’t get carried away, I don’t feel like being here is wrong.”

Astrid visibly relaxed. “That’s good. Because I don’t think so either,” she replied with a breathy little chuckle, but then became serious again. “But what else does it mean? Where would you draw the line? Just… just so I know?”

She sounded so vulnerable…

Hiccup gulped, reminding himself once more of how easily he could hurt her, of the power they both had over each other. He raised his hand to brush a strand of hair out of her face, caressing her soft skin as gently as he could. “I think this is all right,” he murmured, leaning closer. “And this, too.”

His lips brushed over hers and she hummed, mouth twitching into a smile as his tongue poked out to taste her. Slowly, almost despite himself, his hand rose to cup the back of her head, pulling her closer again, deeper into their kiss. Astrid responded with a happy sigh, lips parting to welcome him.

Quickly, the kiss grew firmer, more heated with breathless groans, tongues swirling, and teeth nipping at soft lips. Hiccup trembled with repressed desire; she was just so wonderful, perfect, everything. But he was careful this time, making sure that his hands stayed near her head, dropping only to her neck and shoulders and not lower. He could feel that Astrid wanted more, wanted to melt against him, to touch him, and he greatly appreciated that she held back nonetheless. His ability to resist temptation only reached so far.

When he pulled back again, there was a warm glow in her eyes, something that hadn’t been there just a minute ago but which he felt, too. After the months of exploring each other before her birthday, sticking to only rather innocent kisses like this one felt like not enough. But at the same time… it was enough. The closeness and assurance were all they needed, for now at least. Everything else would come back to them over time.

“Yes, I think it’s okay for me to be here,” he repeated, his voice a little rougher than before. “It’s okay for us to kiss, to cuddle, and to hold each other through the night.”

She nodded and he pulled her closer into his arms, just as she leaned against him too, not resisting when she guided them to lie down again. It wasn’t so they could continue to make out, so it was all right. And it felt so good to hold her like this again! His nose was in her hair, drowning him in that subtle scent of mayweed he’d missed so much, and his arm lightly rested around her waist, her warmth against his chest. He wouldn’t have minded spending the rest of the night like this.

“I missed this,” she whispered after a while. “This closeness, feeling you, and…”

She trailed off, squirming a little in his embrace. It made her rub against him in an incredibly enticing way, and with a small grunt, his hold around her waist tightened, keeping her still. Gods, he wanted…

He could feel how she actively restrained herself, almost trembling beneath his hands with the effort of keeping herself from moving further. “I’m sorry,” she chuckled, embarrassed. “I just… well, I’d hope we… that…” She broke off, biting her lip. Then she sighed. “But it’s... it’s okay. I understand. I think. And it’s only a few more weeks.” She turned her head to look up at him, smiling. “I can wait that long.”

Hiccup’s breath caught in his throat. Lying beneath him with that smile on her face, strands of her golden hair all around her on the pillow, illuminated only by the flickering light of the lantern, and with soft understanding glowing in her eyes… Gods, she was so beautiful, inside and out, irresistible. Almost.

“I’m sorry, too,” he murmured. “For disappointing you and–”

“Hush!” Astrid placed her hand over his lips. “You didn’t. It’s fine.”

Sighing, he closed his eyes and kissed her fingers, softly. It made her giggle, and when she pulled them back again after a minute, he opened his eyes again to look at her. “I love you, Astrid. And… and I promise to make it up to you.” He hesitated for a moment, taking a deep breath, but then brought his mouth to her ear, his hand caressing her neck. “Every night, I’ll make it up to you, I swear…”

Astrid’s breath hitched, and for a heartbeat, Hiccup considered stretching his own rules a little, just once. Just letting his hand glide down her barely covered body, playing with her breasts and toying with her clit, just lazily getting her off while stealing the breath from her lungs with his kisses, just this one time. And he almost did it. When she turned her head and her lips found his again, there was a moment when his resolve crumbled and nearly failed him. She clearly wanted, how could he resist her?

But then he remembered the armoury again, the pain in her eyes as he’d left her standing – and pulled away.

“Mmh, I can’t wait,” Astrid hummed, her eyes dazed and dreamy as she looked up at him, panting.

Hiccup resisted the urge to watch her chest rise and fall and instead lay down next to her again, eyes firmly on her face. She didn’t need to know how close he’d been to giving in, how much he wanted to give in.

They made themselves more comfortable and for a long while just cuddled and enjoyed each other’s company before Astrid broke the silence again. “Can I ask you something?”

Hiccup frowned. “Of course. Whatever you want.” Hadn’t she just said herself that she could ask him everything? What made her think she couldn’t ask now?

Nodding, she turned around and eyed him somewhat curiously. “It’s… well, you mentioned a few times now that you had another vision. And I was wondering what it was about. I mean, you don’t have to tell me. I had none, so this one clearly was only for you. I’m curious though and thought, maybe, you could tell me about it? Only if you think it’s okay and want to…”

Understanding sparked in his mind and his features softened. “Sure. I don’t feel like it was meant to be a secret.” He shifted into a sitting position that made it easier to talk which Astrid mimicked, leaning against his side. “I was back at that small house we both saw, in the middle of a forest,” he began, trying to remember as many details as possible. “At first, I thought it was just the same vision again, then I noticed the differences. The door wouldn’t open to reveal you, and…”

. o O o .

Over the course of about half an hour, he told her of the dream-vision the Goddess had sent him, about how he’d needed Astrid's key to open the door, the Goddess wearing her face, and what she’d said to him. He told her everything he could remember and once he’d finished, Astrid was silent for a minute or two, processing what he'd told her.

"How did you know it wasn't just an ordinary dream?" she eventually asked.

Hiccup shrugged. "I didn't," he admitted. "Not right away. I spent the entire night and most of the following day pondering. I’d been so convinced that… that there was no hope left for us. But the night before, I’d talked to Cami and she’d said something that made me hope again, even as that wasn’t how she’d meant it. She’d said that, if we really were connected by a true soulbond, then not even the meddling of a King could separate us. She’d tried to convince me that our bond couldn’t be real because you would marry Eret, that I should let you go and move on... But I couldn’t shake off the thought that it also could mean something else, that nothing can ever separate us, not even your father. Because no matter what she said, I knew that our bond had been real. Is real.” He let his hand drop to her chest, and for once it was easy to ignore how close he was to touching her in a way he mustn’t do. Their bond was more meaningful than any physical aspects of their relationship.

“When I had that dream then…,” he went on. “You’re right, I couldn’t be sure whether it had been only a dream or not, and I spent the rest of the night and most of the following day thinking about it. What it could mean, whether I really was supposed to kill someone or whether that’s just been some imaginary task born from my desperation. I just couldn’t be sure, not… not until your accident and Markor…”

Astrid froze at his words, and he winced when she inhaled sharply, understanding what he was talking about.

“I’m sorry.” He wasn’t sure what exactly he was apologising for, ending Markor’s life or bringing up his death in the first place. Both in a way. She hadn’t brought that topic up so far, but he could imagine how much losing Markor must have hurt her. And Hiccup literally had his blood on his hands, the image of red sticking to his skin etched forever into his mind.

She nodded, shifting closer and eagerly leaned against him when he hesitantly opened his arms and offered a comforting hug. “It’s okay,” she mumbled after a while. “Not that he’s… but I’m okay. You couldn’t have changed anything of what happened and… What I mean is… I don’t blame you, you know? On the contrary, I’ll never forget him and I have you to thank for that.”

She nodded to the side of the bed and Hiccup spotted the wooden horse he’d given her as a Midwinter gift standing on her bedside table. He wasn’t sure how to react, whether to be sad or happy that this gift, that had only ended up in her belongings by chance, now served such an oddly fitting purpose. He’d wanted it to be a reminder of him, but now… It had been him who’d brought Markor into Astrid’s life on that first day at the stables and it had been him who’d taken him away again. Now, this figurine he’d given her was all that was left. Odd how some things fit together sometimes.

“So, until you… until you ended Markor’s suffering, you didn’t know whether what you saw had been real or not?”

Astrid was clearly trying to change the topic and distract herself, so Hiccup complied. “No, I couldn’t be sure. I spent hours pondering whether it had been merely a dream, wishful thinking, or a true vision.” He paused, taking a deep breath, and reached for Astrid’s hand before he went on; though whether to draw strength or offer comfort, he did not know. “I thought about what the Goddess had said… and whether I was capable of killing someone if it meant I could be with you again.”

Her sharp intake of breath didn’t escape him. “And… did you arrive at a conclusion?” she asked, her tone sober, unreadable.

Hiccup gulped, then shook his head. “No,” he whispered. “I mean, I’d do everything for you. But this… I don’t know. Maybe? Depending on the circumstances? I don’t think I could… could simply murder a helpless innocent in cold blood. But…” he paused again, averting his face from her scrutinising eyes. “But now that I know how it feels to lose you… I’d be capable of a lot to keep that from happening again.” He knew that she despised unnecessary deaths, so he wasn’t sure whether that was the answer she’d wanted to hear. But it was the truth nonetheless.

At first, she didn’t respond. After a few endless heartbeats though, she shifted on the bed, leaned closer, and lifted his head with her hand cradling his jaw. “You’ll do what’s right,” she whispered, a sincerity in her eyes that left him breathless. “The Goddess said you’d only have to do what comes naturally to you and I trust your judgement. Everything will be all right.”

Sighing, he closed his eyes and leaned more heavily into her touch, nuzzling against her fingers and softly kissing her palm. “I hope you’re right,” he murmured.

She kept caressing his face, her touch soft as a feather. “I’d go with what the Goddess told you. There’s always hope,” she said lightly, and even though his eyes were still closed he could hear her smile easily enough. “I do wonder what you’re supposed to do for them, though. That bit about them having a purpose in their selection sounded pretty ominous.”

Hiccup nodded, having wondered about that several times already. “I know. But all we can do is wait and see. She didn’t tell me about anything specific I’m supposed to do – except for that ending a life part.” He shrugged, then grimaced. “I mean, maybe it’s just rebuilding Ravenledge and providing a better life for the people living there. That’s going to be enough of a challenge I’d say.”

“Well, you won’t be alone with that task,” Astrid reminded him, leaning forward until her forehead rested against his own. “We can do this, together. No matter how difficult it will be.”

Smiling, his mouth searched hers for a string of light kisses. “Yeah,” he mumbled in-between against her lips. “Together.”

It was a heady thought. The last couple of days still hadn’t been enough to completely wipe away the hopelessness and pain of the two weeks before, and thinking about how they would spend their future and meet every obstacle together from now on – sometimes it still felt like too much to wrap his head around.

“I’ve got to say though,” Astrid interrupted his thoughts, giggling as they lay side by side again. “I’m surprised nothing else happened in that dream-vision of yours.”

“Excuse me?”

She giggled again, a little more teasingly. “Well, you met the Goddess of Love herself! And even though the situation warranted more, you did nothing but talk and cuddle for a bit? Most people would call that a wasted opportunity.”

Snorting, he rolled his eyes. “What was I supposed to do? Should I have kissed her and made out with her? With a Goddess?”

“Why not?” She was still giggling. “She looked like me after all. Nobody could have blamed you, and you said it yourself, you didn’t even know that it wasn’t really me in the beginning. Or that it was more than just a dream to begin with. It would have been perfectly justified.”

Bemused, he shook his head. She couldn’t be serious, could she? Or was there a hint of jealousy behind her amusement, some underlying worries? But no, that wasn’t like her. When he looked at her though, he noticed the teasing gleam in her eyes, the twitching of her lips. Right…

Smiling, he rolled around until he was on his side, propped up on one arm and leaning over her. Astrid looked up at him, eyes so soft despite the mischievous spark and the deep blue almost enough to lose himself in them again.

“You want to know why?” he whispered before he brushed a few strands of hair out of her face and then leaned down to kiss her again. “Because she wasn’t you.”

. o O o .

In many aspects, the night hadn’t been what Astrid had expected and yet she wasn’t disappointed, not really at least. Without a doubt, she missed Hiccup’s hands on her body, his touch on sensitive skin, the heat of intimacy. But somehow, she didn’t mind. The night had passed by in another kind of intimacy, with soft caresses and relatively innocent kisses and with a lightness that she found meant even more to her. They’d talked for hours and about so many things, important and trivial alike, and while it hadn’t been the reconnecting she’d craved, it was the one she’d needed.

When she woke in the morning, she couldn’t keep a broad smile from spreading across her face. Even through her still-closed eyes, she knew that the sun was already rising, but in opposition to their usual routine, there was no need for them to hurriedly wake up and part. There was nothing keeping her from enjoying his arms loosely wrapped around her waist, his low and even breathing in her hair, and the incredibly comfortable heat purring from his body wrapped around her back. There was nothing keeping her from snuggling closer against him, sighing happily as he reflexively pulled her closer.

Nothing except the loud knocking against her door and Ruff’s voice echoing toward them.

“Milady? Are you decent?” There was a short pause, then, “I’m coming in now.”

Astrid rolled her eyes and nestled closer to Hiccup behind her as he stirred awake with a low grunt. She’d talked about this with Ruff the night before and they’d agreed on a few things in advance. Mainly that her maidservant wouldn’t just barge into her bedroom like she usually did to wake her. Sadly, there wouldn’t be anything indecent anytime soon anyway, so it was a little moot, really. Unless Ruff wasn’t alone, then she would say so before opening the door so Hiccup had the chance to hide. But as it was, Ruff was alone when she entered the bedroom, so Astrid couldn’t have cared less. She wasn’t ready yet to leave his warm embrace.

Hiccup, however, jumped awake in an instant. He sat up straight, pulling the blanket up with him, and his face went frighteningly pale as he stared at Ruff before he seemed to remember and relaxed again. Lamenting the warmth, Astrid sat up too and snuggled back against his chest, smiling as he wrapped his arms and the blanket back around her.

Ruff threw them a smirk, raising her eyebrows at the obvious state of them still being fully dressed, but then turned to pull the curtains open. “I’d say ‘Sorry for interrupting you’, but it doesn’t look like I interrupted anything anyway. I knew Tuff was exaggerating. Anyway, time to get up. Your breakfast is waiting for you at your tea table, Astrid. Hiccup, you get yours in the kitchen as usual. Sorry, but there was no way for me to sneak in your portion without raising suspicion.”

Intending to drown Ruff’s babbling out to enjoy her last minutes with Hiccup for the day, Astrid still perked up, frowning at her maidservant’s words.

“What?”

Ruff turned, an insinuating smirk on her face as she rolled her eyes. “I said your breakfast is–”

“No, no, I got that,” Astrid interrupted her, sitting up straighter now even as her mind was whirling in confusion. “But why? Why would I eat here? What about my usual breakfast with the King and the Grand Dukes?”

On so many occasions lately, she’d wished she could simply skip the common meal and eat alone in her rooms, but not today. Today, she had something important to talk about with her father, and not just she. Duke Oswald had to agree to giving County Ravenledge to Hiccup, too, and they needed their and Eret II’s support to rebuild it. Who knew when else she, Eret, and Dagur would get the chance to talk to their fathers? She didn’t want to wait any longer.

She looked up at Hiccup, seeking… she didn’t even know what exactly. Reassurance somehow. But he looked just as confused as she felt. And worried.

“I don’t know, exactly,” Ruff said, shrugging apologetically. “All I know is that there was a change of plan somehow. Today’s hunt got cancelled and instead, your father summoned all of your suitors for an announcement.“

Beneath her hand on his chest, Hiccup trembled. “Oh, no,” he muttered. “That doesn’t sound good,”

Astrid could only agree, but she didn’t want him to fret again. He was already carrying more guilt than was necessary. She shifted until she kneeled in front of him, for once towering over him, and took his face in both her hands. “Don’t worry, okay?” she said with as much conviction as she could muster. “Whatever it is, this doesn’t change anything. Do you hear me? We belong together and nothing will ever change that. Together to the end of the road. Promise.”

Hiccup looked up at her with conflicted eyes, clearly wanting to believe her but unable to fully do so. “I hope you’re right,” he muttered, swallowing, then leaned more heavily into her touch, his forehead resting against hers. “I really do.”

. o O o .

Yes, she didn’t want Hiccup to fret about whatever her father had to announce. However, not fretting about it herself was an entirely different matter. What could be so important that he cancelled all plans for the day?

Struggling to not let her nervousness show, she was standing in the audience room, next to and a little behind her father as they waited for everyone to arrive. As her future husband, Eret was allowed to stand behind her, and now, she understood how hard the previous day must have been for him. Even though the presence of the King certainly kept many from showing their envy and disdain too openly, the looks Eret got for being up here with her were anything but friendly. But even though she wished she could spare him all this, she also was grateful for his presence. It was all that kept her from falling apart.

The last time her father had made an announcement, he’d torn apart all her dreams and plans. He wouldn’t reject her upcoming betrothal to Eret and hand her back to all these leering predators in front of her because of such a stupid rumour, would he? No, certainly not. But she couldn’t help but fear for what he had to say nonetheless.

“Do you know what this is about?” she whispered, her head tilted to the side so only Eret could hear her. Surely his thoughts had gone in a similar direction than hers.

“No idea,” Eret grunted quietly. “Father wouldn’t say anything even though he clearly knows what’s going on. He was excited though, even grinning, so I guess it’s nothing too bad.”

Swallowing, Astrid nodded weakly. At least it wouldn’t be the cancellation of their betrothal. She just hoped that he was right, that it wouldn’t get too bad. She wasn’t sure how much more she could take.

A few minutes later, everyone seemed to have arrived as two servants closed the doors, and Astrid reached behind her for Eret’s hand. She needed her brother’s support, feeling a little lighter as he squeezed her reassuringly.

“I see everyone’s here now,” her father began, smiling broadly at the crowd. He seemed to be in a good mood. “Good. I have exciting news. Even though it’s still over a week until the betrothal ceremony, my daughter has made her decision already, and while I couldn’t be happier about her choice, I also see how it affects the mood and motivation for the remaining challenges.” There was consenting grumbling all over the room, many men throwing disappointed glances at her and Eret.

“I was already thinking about how to solve this problem,” her father went on, “when a note from Oramond reached me yesterday.”

Puzzled, Astrid cocked her head. Oramond was a city located north of Volantis, about a day’s ride away. She dimly remembered having been there as a child as it was famous for its market, the only one where merchants from the Northern Tribes sold their goods. Or used to sell their goods. Over the last ten years, fewer and fewer merchants had shown up until the city had lost its significance. What message from there could be so important that her father changed his plans?

She didn’t need to wait long for the answer.

“As some of you know, the lands north of Volantis still occasionally suffer from dragon attacks. This year though, there were ten times as many sightings as usual already. Livestock was stolen, and last week, one of Oramond’s storehouses was burned to the ground. And while this development is truly unfortunate, it can also be seen as a blessing in disguise as it gives us an unexpected opportunity.”

The King made a short dramatic pause, looking around into the waiting faces before he continued, his voice a little louder now. “Three decades have passed since we last held a Dragon Hunt. But now, the Gods bless us with this impeccable chance. From today on, all upcoming hunts and tournaments until the betrothal ceremony are cancelled. Instead, everyone gets the chance to prepare themselves for in four days from today, we will all travel to Oramond. From there, the first Dragon Hunt since my father’s reign will be held. It will go on for three days before a winner is determined. My daughter’s hand, while a suitable and traditional prize, is not an option anymore, but I think I’ve found an acceptable alternative. I’m happy to announce that the winner of this Dragon Hunt, the man who brings me the head of a dragon, will not only earn himself a pouch of gold and glory beyond any other, but will also receive the right to call himself the Count of Ravenledge.”

. o O o .

AN: Yeah, so… we all knew it wouldn't be that easy, didn't we?

And to all those people who (repeatedly) asked about when I'd FINALLY include the dragons… are you satisfied now? O:)

I can't say how regularly I'm going to update from now on. When a chapter is done, I'll post it.

If you want to support me, buy me a coffee ;) (Ko-Fi)

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#FTLOAP #For The Love Of A Princess #Hiccstrid #hiccstrid fanfiction #httyd fandom #httyd fanfiction #fanfiction #royalty au #hiccstrid royal au #medieval au #Hiccstrid Medieval AU #fluff #romance

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camelliacats · 5 years ago

Text

45 Ways to Make a Werewolf Fall for You (part 43/45)

A decision.

Chapter 43: "Knowing that somebody misses you" [FFN] [AO3] | ← → | start from the beginning

Pairings/Characters: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin

Rating: K

Words: ~700

Additional info: romance, slash, angst, fluff, Marauder era, 3rd person POV

Summary: The Marauders, in the prime of their lives, from the last day they set foot at Hogwarts all the way to a reunion thirteen years nearly too late. *Remus/Sirius-centric, relatively canon-compliant, for all of us who would like Remmius to have their happy ending—enjoy your fluff here! Ch43: Sirius follows his good heart—and chooses love.

It would be more fun to think of the future if the present didn't drag on forever.

Sirius was quite sick of the same-old, same-old by now. These days, with James and Lily in hiding and Order numbers so low, Dumbledore had taken to the risky idea of people going out on single missions. Case in point, Sirius' current excursion. He had gotten a Floo call from Dumbledore requesting his presence about a month ago. So now Sirius roamed the neighborhood that was believed to be inhabited by his cousin, Bellatrix, and the Lestrange brothers.

Yeesh, what a great way to kick off the fall, he thought as he tinkered with his motorbike outside the house he was "borrowing" for his stay.

It was September, and it had arrived much too quickly for Sirius' liking. A few months ago, he'd actually almost forgotten Harry's birthday…ha, yeah, good thing Remus remembered. But at least Sirius had gotten to send Harry a toy broom for his first birthday! Lily had sent a picture and a letter expressing her thanks, and Sirius looked to his rucksack on the front stoop. The letter and picture were in their envelope in the front pouch.

Only a little bit more time left here, he thought. Even though Bellatrix, Rodolphus, and Rabastan were supposedly here, Sirius was unsure what he'd want to do with them. Dumbledore had asked that he just keep watch and send a signal or a message if their suspicions were confirmed and they were indeed there.

Sirius thought a couple hexes and curses might do the trick. You know, taking some "preventative" measures.

About the only thing that Sirius liked about this time away was the chance to get his thoughts in order. Thinking of that, he put his wand on the ground beside him and took out a piece of parchment from the breast pocket of his shirt. He unfolded it just as he had done several times already, and the letter was beginning to wear from being folded and unfolded one time too many. It said:

Sirius, luv—

Hard to believe you still have two weeks to go there. I've been thinking once you get back—maybe the three of us, you, me, and Peter, could do something. I know James can't join us, but it's nearly Halloween, and I figured we should celebrate.

And please, don't fly your bike where Muggles can see. I'd prefer not to visit you in a Ministry holding cell on Halloween night.

Love always,

Remus xo

Moony had flourished his signature with a bewitched "xo" that changed into a line of footprints. Well, they were more like paw prints, but Sirius enjoyed the bit of affection. It was touching…

…and it had just about solidified what conclusion Sirius had reached.

Truthfully, his guilt had won out over his uncertainties. He felt that, with guilt that strong, his gut had to have been confused. How? How could he have thought that Remus' being a werewolf at this time was hazardous to the Order? Remus had demonstrated time and again where his loyalties lay, and he had never shown any interest in being with other wolves.

He'd only ever shown interest in one stray dog.

Sirius hung his head and grumbled to himself. His love for Remus was just too bloody strong. He really never would get away from Rem, or from his fellow Marauders, for that matter. But he didn't want to—there was no need.

Glimpsing at the missive again, Sirius thought about Peter. No one had heard from him much since he, too, had gone into hiding, for James and Lily's sake. Sirius rolled his eyes; being Secret-Keeper was probably the best job in the world for Wormtail. Peter could eat and sleep as he so chose, and Sirius was a little jealous of that. The only peaceful downtime he'd ever truly had in his life he got at home with Remus.

Ah, "home with Remus." Sirius quite liked that phrase very much. And it sounded a lot nicer now that Sirius' guilt had pretty much flown from him. He couldn't wait to get back to Remus—he just had one question in mind…

What prank to pull this Halloween…?

GAH! It's killing me, knowing what's coming next… And you all should know, too, if you've been keeping track of the timeline. Dx HOWEVER! Even if 42 and 43 were kinda fluffily iffy, I know EXACTLY what's going to happen in the last two chappies. 44 should be a good length, and 45…well, mum's the word, luvs. ;]

Thanks for reading, and feel free to leave an anon/unsigned review via the FFN link or comment via the AO3 link at the top of the post, especially if you enjoyed this!

~mew

2017 note: Oh, Sirius. So many times, I just want to hug him. I think it's also incredibly tough to shake a bad feeling once you have it, try though he might here.

And if you want to support 45 Ways, please swing by its FFN and AO3 versions and consider liking and reblogging these posts on my HariPo fic tumblr!

#hp #harry potter #wolfstar #remmius #sirius black #<1000 #romance #slash #angst #fluff #marauder era #rated: G #3rd POV #remmius: 45 ways to make a werewolf fall for you

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bazypitchandsimonsnow · 6 years ago

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Watford Cove

Chapter 11: fingers walk your thigh

Rating: T

Genre: Fluff/angst

Word count: 1963

Chapter: 11/13 [All chapters]

Summary: It's the night before exam marks are posted. Possibly their last night, so Simon invites Baz over.

Read on AO3

AN: Two chapters in two days?! What?!?!?! Well, school for me starts tomorrow, and this chapter is quite short, so I'm updating super early. And oooooooh spicy summary! But this is still a T rated fic, so don't get too excited lol. Enjoy!

Tagging: @wayward-son-61 @jeansjeansjeansjeans

———————————————-

My hand hurts. I skipped a lot of exams last year and forgot about that part. My muscles are all cramped from being wrapped around a pencil for hours for days on end. I keep stretching it out in hopes the pain goes away. No such luck. My brain hurts too. It feels like I puked all knowledge onto those pages and now my thoughts are empty. I just feel so exhausted. I can't even force myself to get off my bed to change out of my jeans and jacket.

Exam marks are posted tomorrow. I’ll know if I get to stay tomorrow. Stay in Watford Cove, with my friends, with Simon. If I was the dramatic sort of person, which I’m not of course, I’d say tomorrow is judgement day.

I can only hope I’m worthy.

My phone buzzes next to me. With far more effort than usually needed, I reach over and hold it over my face.

Pretty Moron [7:25] heyyyyy <3 <3

Pretty Moron [7:25] how’s it going?

Baz [7:26] My hand fucking hurts.

Pretty Moron [7:27] lol well exams will do that

Pretty Moron [7:27] what r u doing rn?

Baz [7:28] Texting you, idiot.

Pretty Moron [7:29] fuck off dick

Pretty Moron [7:30] i meant if ur busy

Baz [7:31] No, not really. Just tired.

Pretty Moron [7:32] okay

Pretty Moron [7:33] my gran’s out playing cards all night

Pretty Moron [7:35] wanna come over?

Pretty Moron [7:36] only if ur not 2 tired tho

Pretty Moron [7:36] but u could come over

Pretty Moron [7:38] and stay the night

Pretty Moron [7:38] if u want

I nearly drop my phone many times reading that. Okay, this may be crazy, but I cannot be misinterpreting what he means. It's pretty obvious, right? But he's also Simon, so he's sometimes quite oblivious. If this were some TV show, I’d know exactly what that meant. There'd be zero doubt in my mind. But this is real life. Do people really do this? Would Simon? He is very bold sometimes, that's for sure. Is he this bold? Fucking hell, am I?

Tomorrow is judgement day after all. So...tonight could be my last chance for a long while. Our last chance.

Baz [7:43] I’ll be over there in half an hour

———————————————-

This time, it takes only two pebbles to get Simon to open the window. I wonder if he was waiting for me this time. He gives me a tired, exasperated smile.

“I told you,” he semi-shouts down, “my Gran’s not home. You could’ve just rung the bell.”

I shrug. “This is more fun.”

Simon rolls his eyes as I run up to the trellis. It’s much harder climbing up it with the plastic shopping bag. I manage though, swinging my legs up onto the porch roof and crawling to Simon’s window. He gives me a hand getting in, then wraps his arms around my neck, smiling all the way to his ears as he gazes at me.

“You came,” he sighs.

“I said I would, didn’t I?” I reply, holding his torso close.

“Still, I’m glad you did. I-I wasn’t sure you would, really.”

I sigh, running my fingers over his back. “Well, I debated it a bit. But this may be our last night, Simon. And...I really don’t want to leave without doing this, with you that is.”

His face goes bright red instantly, eyes incredibly wide. Shit, I’ve fucked up. That’s not what he meant. I'm just a horny idiot. I’m going to leave and die from embarrassment.

“Sorry,” I murmur, pulling away. “I’ll just go.”

“No no!” Simon shakes his head rapidly, arms tightening on my neck. “No, don’t go, Baz. I-I want to as well. You just caught me off guard for a sec, sorry.”

I chuckle at that, I can’t help it. Simon looks at me funny. I just pull him closer. “You get all blushy and nervous when I flirt with you, but also snog me like it’s the end the world in a gym closet. You are just, a living contradiction, Simon Salisbury.” He still looks at me confused. “And I like that, a lot.”

Now he grins again, bright and brilliant. “Okay, good to know.”

We giggle like stupid school boys, pressing our foreheads together. He kisses me once, then twice, then a third time for good measure I suppose. But suddenly, he pulls back and lifts up my arm, the one holding the shopping bag, with a furrowed brow.

“What’s this?”

I chuckle. “Well, I assumed that you wouldn’t have supplies, so I picked some up.”

That makes his eyebrows shoot up to his hairline. “Supplies?”

“Yes, Simon, supplies. I wasn't sure what we'd end up doing but I wanted to be prepared for anything. You would not believe the looks I got from the old lady cashier though, my god.”

Simon laughs loudly, throwing his head back. “Oh man, I can believe that. Sorry you had to do that, love.”

I shrug with a smirk. “It was worth it.”

His face softens. “Thank you, darling.”

We fall into silence and just stare at each other. Fuck, where do we go from here? I’ve never thought about this. Well, I’ve thought about after this, what happens when we start doing "it", but not how we get there. From Simon’s lip chewing and nervous twiddling, he has no idea either.

“You sure you want to do this, Simon?” I whisper.

He nods slowly. “Yeah, yeah I do. I’m just...”

“Nervous?”

“Yeah, definitely.”

“Hey.” I tilt his chin up so we’re eye to eye. I need him to be reassured, and I love looking in his eyes anyway. “It’s alright. I am too.”

He's surprisingly shocked at that. “Really?”

“Yes, of course. I’ve never done anything like this before. You’re my first boyfriend, first kiss, first anything, Simon.”

His jaw falls open. I can’t believe how shocked he is. “Seriously? I was your first kiss?”

I roll my eyes, trying to offset my nerves. “Yes, I just said that.”

“Wow.”

“What, do I seem like someone who’s super experienced?”

“Oh, uh, well, I um, I...” He chuckles, running a hand through his hair. “I guess, I uh, you’re really smart and confident and I just assumed you knew more about this shit than me. Since you know more about most things.”

I snort out a laugh. Simon turns more red, so I put down the shopping bag on his bed then grab his wrist and tug him closer. He lets himself fall against me.

“Well,” I sigh, “I guess we’ll just have figure it out together.”

He gives me a lopsided smile. It's relaxed and happy, and just fucking perfect. “Yeah, I guess so.” He chuckles slightly and shakes his head. “Oh man, having sex the night before you might leave forever. What is this, a teen romance novel?”

I chuckle. “It honestly feels like it sometimes.”

Simon and I both laugh, but it’s quickly followed by silence. We just stare at each other for awhile. Bright blue gazing into grey and vice versa. I sure as shit don’t know where to go, and neither does he obviously. Simon leans up to kiss me. But fucking Hell, I’m still not relaxed, and neither is he. I can feel the nervousness in both of us. His shaking hands, his tense face, the stiff movement of his mouth. Everything about him spells ‘uneasy.’ I’m about to pull away to ask him, but he does so first.

“Wait,” he says breathlessly. “Let’s do something.”

He pulls me over to his nightstand and picks up his mobile. A few taps later, a soft tune starts playing. It’s all violins and piano chords. I recognize the singer as that Sivan bloke Simon loves.

“What’s this?” I ask.

Simon walks back over to me and drapes his arms lazily over my shoulders. They're a comfortable weight on my tense muscles. “Dance with me.”

I give him a confused, curious look, but he doesn’t say anything to further justify it. “Seriously?”

“Yeah, seriously. We’re both about to jump out of our skins, Baz. So let’s not think for a bit and just dance.”

“Not thinking? That’s your solution?”

He shrugs. “Helps me. And it’s only for a bit. Just turn off that big brain for a sec and dance with me, Baz. Alright?”

I twist my mouth for a moment, but then I just sigh and hold his waist. “Alright, let’s dance.”

Simon smiles. He lets his head fall into the crook of my neck. I rest my cheek on his temple. We sway incredibly slowly back and forth, like waves calmly lapping at the shore. The only sounds that fill the room are our soft breathing and Troye’s melodious voice. I listen to the lyrics.

I want you I'll colour me blue Anything it takes to make you stay Only seeing myself When I'm looking up at you

“This song is depressing as shit, Simon,” I whisper right into his ear.

“Shut up, Basil,” he grumbles. I chuckle and hold him tighter.

The song keeps going, we keep swaying, and bit by bit, I can feel the tension seeping out of me. Like a weight slowly being lifted off my shoulders. This isn’t scary. This is just Simon. Who wears pink sweaters and flower crowns, who painted my nails, who knows me better than anyone by now, who makes me happy, who I’m most certainly falling in love with. Yes, I can do this. At least I can do this with him.

Troye ends and the playlist moves on to something else. Simon pulls back to face me. His eyes are half lidded, his lips slightly open, all while bathed in his golden lamplight. Christ on a cross, I want to kiss him so badly. Well, I want to kiss him all the time, but especially right now, when he looks like something out of a dream. Without breaking eye contact, he reaches over and turns off the phone. All that’s left is our breathing, slow and steady.

“Okay now?” he speaks softly.

I take a deep breath and nod once. “Yeah, okay.”

He nods too, then reaches over to turn off the lamp. Silver moonlight bleeds in through his window. He looks ethereal in it, a glowing silver halo around his gold tones. Stretching up a bit, Simon kisses me softly, but it’s not tentative anymore. It’s languid, relaxed, like we have all the time in the world. I kiss him back in the same way. I feel Simon’s hands move across my neck, callused fingers scratching against my skin, then over my shoulders and under my jacket. Slowly, like a question, he starts pushing it down. I straighten my arms in answer, and it falls to the ground.

Being a total control freak, I rarely let anyone “do” anything to me, really. I always initiate. I’m always in command. I accept no less.

But not with Simon.

I let Simon do so much to me. Let him kiss me, let him undress me, let him pull me apart and put me back together in the strangest, most beautiful ways possible. There are some awkward moments, of course. They're unavoidable with our lack of knowledge. But we simply laugh them off or quickly apologize. Those moments are brief though. And all of it is overshadowed by sheer wonder of it all. That this is really happening. That we’re doing this. And it's incredible. I allow Simon to see every last part of me, and he lets me see every last part of him.

No guarding, no nerves. Just us.

———————————————-

AN: As it has already been established, I'm a cheesy motherfucker. And this practically is a teen romance book so I'm just embracing how tropey it is. Hope you guys liked it. Next time: judgement day, and the morning after :D

Chapter title is from "Too Good" by Troye Sivan

#carry on #snowbaz #simon snow #baz pitch #fluff #angst #punk/pastel #mysnowbazfanfic

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angelkurenai · 6 years ago

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Same: Was tagged by @troublemaker203 and it took me a while to do this but I’ve had busy days. I won’t bother anyone with this because I will do more than one tagging games today but if any of my followers would like to do this then I would love to get tagged back to see your answers!

Rules: answer all questions and add one of your own (plus tag as many people as there are questions)

1. Coke or pepsi: i can’t really tell the difference because it’s been a while since i had pespi, so i’ll go with coke

2. Disney or dreamworks: disney

3. Coffee or tea: coffee for sure♡

4. Books or movies: movies (and later read the book to get better ideas about the characters’ feelings)

5. Windows or mac: windows

6. Dc or marvel: Marvel for life ♥

7. X-box or playstation: playstation

8. Dragon age or mass effect: ...i have no idea

9. Night owl or early riser: night owl, cause i love to snuggle in my bed in the mornings

10. Cards or chess: cards

11. Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate

12. Vans or converse: vans

13. Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash or Adaar: i don’t get that reference

14. Fluff or angst: angst, for sure, with a happy ending ALWAYS

15. Beach or forest: beach

16. Dogs or cats: cats but i love dogs and all animals in general so...

17. Clear skies or rain: love both, depending on my mood or what i’m doin’

18. Cooking or eating out: cooking is very fun!

19. Spicy food or mild food: again depends on the mood, i like spicy but not on a daily basis

20. Halloween/samhain or solstice/yule/christmas: christmas, we don’t have halloween in Greece

21. Would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot: a little too cold, cause summer in Athens is a nightmare

22. If you could have any superpower, what would it be: telekinesis

23. Animation or live action: live action

24. Paragon or renegade: ... again, not getting the reference

25. Baths or showers: showers

26. Team cap or team ironman: Iron Man. Iron Man. Iron Man. even if I’d take a bullet for Steve Rogers, what he did in CW was a stab to my heart

27. Fantasy or sci-fi: fantasy

28. Do you have three or four favourite quotes, if so, what are they:

"No money, no honey” because it descibes perfectly my empty wallet whenever I wanna go shopping for anything

I don’t think i have others, or if i do i can’t remember them now

29. Netflix or youtube: both

30. Harry Potter or Percy Jackson: Harry Potter, although I love Percy cause Greek Mythology is the best thing in this world for me!

31. When you feel accomplished: after writing a good chapter/story that i feel proud of

32. Star wars or star trek: neither

33. Paperback or hardback: again ain’t getting that reference

34. Horror or rom-com: Horror

35. Tv shows or movies: both

36. Spotify or pandora: spotify

37. Zootopia or inside out: zootopia

38. Favorite book: The portrait of Dorian Gray

39. Favourite flower: Lilies

40. What field of study are you in (or aspire to be in): Biology and I’m loving the heck out of it

41. Song lyric you really love:

“I've told you time and time again I'm not as think as you drunk I am” may not describe me cause i never drink but damn Panic, that was amazing!

42. What’s your MBTI type: pardon? i don’t get this (again)

43. Fave movie: Avengers: Infinity War (I’m so predictable)

44. Favourite tv show (s): TVD, The Originals, Supernatural, Merlin, Sherlock

45. Top three authors: I don’t have a favourite author

46. Favorite season: winter, unless it’s too cold so i guess summer then

47. Favorite high school movie: don’t have one

48. Silver or gold: gold

49. Favorite director (s): don’t have one, but i’ll go with Taika Waititi cause he didn’t a wonderful job with Thor 3

50. Favorite superhero (s): I’ll go in general (comics+movies) and say: Iron Man, Captain America, Wonder Woman and Batman

51. Deep fried twinky or oreo: oreo

52. left or right-handed: right

53. If an actor would portray you in a movie about your life, who would it be: Elizabeth Olsen

#tag #tagging game

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garykings · 6 years ago

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tagged by @anthohnystark !! 💗

rules: answer all the questions, add one of your own

1. coke or pepsi: neither

2. disney or dreamworks: dreamworks

3. coffee or tea: hot chocolate

4. books or movies: books

5. windows or mac: linux mac

6. dc or marvel: dc

7. x-box or playstation: xbox

8. dragon age or mass effect: mass effect

9. night owl or early riser: night owl

10. cards or chess: cards

11. chocolate or vanilla: chocolate

12. vans or converse: converse

13. Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash, or Adaar: idk

14. fluff or angst: angst with a happy ending

15. beach or forest: forest

16. dogs or cats: both

17. clear skies or rain: rain

18. cooking or eating out: eating out

19. spicy food or mild food: mild

20. halloween/samhain or solstice/yule/christmas: halloween

21. would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot: too cold

22. if you could have any superpower, what would it be?: super speed

23. animation or live action: live action

24. paragon or renegade: paragon

25. baths or showers: baths

26. team cap or team ironman: i hope no one murders me for this but team ironman

27: fantasy or sci-fi: sci-fi

28. do you have three or four favourite quotes, if so what are they: it has to do with... biology. what? biology. what kind of biology? vulcan biology. you mean the biology of vulcans?

29. netflix or youtube: netflix

30. Harry Potter or Percy Jackson: i don’t know

31. when you feel accomplished: when i’m done with a knitting project, when i get a chapter out

32. star wars or star trek: star trek

33. paperback or hardback: hardback

34. horror or rom-com: i don’t care for either

35. tv shows or movies: tv shows

36. spotify or pandora: deezer (and spotify for em’s playlists)

37. zootopia or inside out: inside out

38. favourite book: everything pierre bottero wrote

39. favourite flower: sunflower

40. what field of study are you in (or aspire to be in): english

41. song lyric you really love?:

You taught me the courage of stars before you left

How light carries on endlessly even after death

With shortness of breath you explained the infinite

How rare and beautiful it is to even exist

I couldn't help but ask

For you to say it all again

I tried to write it down

But I could never find a pen

I'd give anything to hear

You say it one more time

That the universe was made

Just to be seen by my eyes

42. what’s your MBTI type?: intp last time i took the test

43. fave movie: the batman movie from 1966

44. favourite tv show(s): elementary and lie to me

45. what fictional world is your favourite? dc

46. favourite mythological figure? orpheus

47. who’s your all-time favourite fictional character? my man booster

48. confetti or glitter? glittery confetti!

49. five things you’re grateful for in your life:

- my friends

- i’m good with a piece of thread an a needle

- there are people i met at the right time

- living close enough to the city

- i have good hair i guess?

#that wasn't easy oof #tagging games #txt

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swanandapirate · 7 years ago

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Blue Petals & Broken Glass Ch.11

Summary: Emma had the night shift and when a burglary call came in, she had to go and do her job. She ended up at the flowershop of a certain Killian Jones and he clearly knew more about the robbery than he was letting on.

ch.10: tumblr / ff.net

this chapter: ff.net

the whole story: ff.net

Amazing banner made by the wonderful @shady-swan-jones

A/N: And I'm back! I apologize again for the large gaps between updates but pfff... life. Anyways, this is quite an angsty chapter and I'm already going to apologize for that but it's where the muses lead me and who am I to ignore them. Thanks for not giving up on this or me <3

(A trigger warning for grave injuries and mentions of violence)

She couldn't sleep; her eyes wouldn't follow her command of staying closed. Emma couldn't even get her body to listen to her pleas to simply relax. Turning and twisting her limbs into every possible position, her sheets rustled with the movements. The plethora of fear haunted her, uttered whispers of distress into her head and they were all in a very familiar voice.

In the darkness of her room, Emma fumbled around to find her phone that was lying somewhere on her nightstand. As she sensed the device under her fingertips, her hand curled around it and brought it closer. The bright screen informed her that it was 2:09 am. Letting her eyes fall shut, she sighed.

You're imagining things, Emma. Killian's fine. He's at home, above the flower shop, sleeping soundly, maybe even snoring like last time. There's no reason to worry.

Her eyelids opened again and Emma rubbed over her cheek. She clicked the nightlight button, sparking it to life and illuminating the room. Reluctantly, she left her cocoon with the realization that sleep wasn't in the cards for her right now. First, her bare feet hit the cold floor, then her bare legs braced the chilled air, goosebumps following instantaneously. Emma wasn't sure if the cold was the sole to be blamed, however. She grabbed her robe, to protect herself from the cold or maybe to not be confronted with the small shivers afflicting her body.

With the minimal light of her phone's flashlight, Emma maneuvered to her couch, curling herself in it as soon as she reached it. One by one, she pulled her legs close to her chest. Her hands wrapped around her shins and Emma rested her head on her knees. A breath came and left with a lot of dramatics, her chest drastically expanding and deflating because of the air passing through.

"Tobias, am I going crazy?" she said in direction of her cabinet. The living room was still dark but Emma's orientation in her own apartment was impeccable. "Well, I am talking to a cactus, so probably." The huff that came out of her mouth after she answered her own question of sanity was something between amusement and despair. "You should have seen him yesterday. I just– I can't shake the feeling he's going to do something stupid."

Emma, stop it. The lack of sleep is making you paranoid. You have to go to work in the morning. You need to sleep, so no more distractions, no more worrying.

Her internal voice did have a point, taking on the role of voice of reason. She was basing all of this distress on a hunch, a combination of word choice and actions. What if it had just been an inconvenient moment? What if she was just blowing everything out of proportion?

Trying to expel the nerves upsetting her stomach, Emma took a gulp of air and released it again. There was nothing to worry about, absolutely nothing. After repeating that mantra just about fifteen times, her mind started to believe it and her body started to unwind. To keep herself from staying up and scrolling mindlessly through Facebook until the sun decided to color the world again, to force herself to drag her body back to bed and try to get some sleep, Emma put her phone on airplane mode. Shutting it off completely would mean taking the risk of not being woken up by her alarm in the morning but this was the next, best thing.

The bells of her alarm clock sounded extremely loud in the early morning and were violating her sleep. Though her dream had been anything but peaceful; Emma couldn't complain about the interruption. Her face contorted as she thought back to the nature of the dream, to the images that had flashed by during her sleep. Giant hands and blood and an earth-shattering scream. Not a bone in her body that wanted to experience that ever again. Nor in reality, nor in the back of her slumbering mind. Stretching her back and legs, she rolled around in her bed. Her throat tingled with dryness and her eyes stung, the common side effects of sleep. Coffee. Her body screamed for a dose to wake her up.

Emma sighed and lifted herself out of her sheets, her movements slowed down by slugginess and reluctance but countered by the thought of the smell and taste and instant rush of the caffeine. Her bare feet crossed her living room and halted when Emma reached her kitchen. A yawn sneaked up on her and her hand was just too late to cover her mouth. The coffee maker was plugged in and set into motion.

The wait was excruciating, the slow trickle of water mocking her and somehow not advancing at all. Emma stared and her eyes kept falling shut, more slowly and with bigger time intervals, staying closed for a moment before opening anew. At this pace, she would fall asleep again before her coffee was even ready. She needed some sort of encouragement, a distraction, a figurative electric shock to awaken her senses. An idea formed, a plan which required her phone, or more specifically the Spotify playlist she made a few years ago filled with pumped up music.

Emma ran–or staggered–back to her room and yanked the charging cord out, bringing her phone closer. Her thumb swiftly tapped the airplane icon again to let the signals reach her phone again and make Spotify active–no way in hell she was going to pay every month to download songs. She immediately clicked on the familiar icon leading her to the app and waited until her phone had reconnected.

Suddenly, a buzzing sensation traveled from her phone to her hand, and another one, and another one. It was a shock so big and slightly overwhelming that Emma dropped her phone in response. She picked it back up, retrieved in from the fluff carpet it had nestled in and saw the notifications piling up, a constant flux of vibrations and boxes being stacked on each other.

Missed Call: David 2:36

New Voicemail: 2:37

Missed Call: David 2:41

Missed Call: David 2:43

Missed Call: David 3:07

New Voicemail: 3:07

Her breath hitched, got stuck somewhere between her lungs and lips as she read and counted how many times he had called her.

There was nothing to explain the urgency or the need for her. No text message to clarify it all. Something happened must have happened that's what her mind instantly concluded but with whom? With him? Mary Margaret? Baby Elliot? Emma didn't have the patience to call her voicemail, to listen to messages that were running behind on the current circumstances. With lightning speed, she pressed call, the dialer tone taking forever. The nail of her thumb became the victim of her anxiousness, getting bitten down on by her teeth.

"Emma."

She gulped air for the first time in actual minutes it felt when she heard his worried, yet relieved voice. The relief probably had to do with her finally being reachable again, showing a sign of life.

"David. What's wrong?"

Straight to the point, because she was not going to be able to stomach small talk, to let her worry increase even further.

"It's Killian."

Even though she hadn't mentioned him earlier, hadn't added him to the list before, he was always number one. She should have known to follow her gut, to listen to her premonition. It never ever failed her. She should have fucking known.

A certain scent clung to the hospital walls and spread into the halls. It smelled of disinfectant and of sadness somehow. Like if sadness could have a smell, a distinctive odor, it could be found in a hospital. She had always hated it; it never failed to bring a sense of lightheadedness, as if she was about to faint any second. To ensure that didn't happen, Emma had bought a can of Coke, to get her blood racing and her sugar levels spike. Her foot nervously tapped on the floor, a fast tick that surely annoyed the other people occupying a spot in the waiting room, but she couldn't stop. Nor could she stop shaking.

David had explained everything meticulously during their phone call–at least his take on the story and what he knew–and still Emma did not understand. Or could not comprehend, could not wrap her mind around it.

Killian had attempted to break in into Gold's shop.

That, she could process, didn't sound too surprising.

A silent alarm was triggered as he did, summoning Gold to his shop.

Which was logical.

David, already done with his shift at that time, was home, asleep, and got woken up by the same silent alarm Gold received. He dressed as soon as he could and made his way towards Main Street, towards the place of crime. When he entered the pawnshop, David found a bloody and battered Killian, his breathing shallow and wheezing. The floor was enameled with a pattern of crimson droplets and Killian lay in the midst of them, unconscious and cradling his left hand. Gold was nowhere in sight.

That was where Emma's mind refused to come to terms, refused to accept that that was what really happened.

Emma spotted a familiar face, a reassurance in the chaos of white, as he walked past her with a worried look troubling his eyes.

"David!" She jumped up, catching his attention and causing David to turn around again. "Why didn't you come to my apartment and wake me?" she asked when he stood before her.

"Emma, it was a whirlwind," he tried to reason. "I needed to call an ambulance and find Gold first and when I did that, I needed to make sure he didn't try and leave again. Besides, you weren't really the best person to have on this case."

She knew that objectivity was near to impossible for her when she was this involved. In the case, in Killian, and the thing they once shared–possibly still did–but the reason David didn't wake Emma up himself was also the reason he should have.

"But you should have," Emma said. Her hands rubbed over her forehead, fingers eventually ending in her hair as she combed through it. "I mean, he's been here for hours, all alone. He could have died." She moved her weight from one foot to another.

"He didn't, Emma," David reminded her, his voice soft and kind. "Have you seen a doctor yet?"

"No." Her head moved from left to right. "A nurse told me they're still operating."

"Hmmm," David made a sound in thought, his hand settling on her upper arm. "You stay here. I'll take over your shift." Emma felt a small squeeze as he spoke.

There was no way Emma would agree to that, not when she could discern the blue color under his eyes.

"No, David," Emma protested, "You've been up the entire day and night. Go home. Go sleep. I'll just be on call."

David tried to object; she could derive that from the small, discontented sigh he let out and she could see that in the movement of his eyes. To go home, to sleep during such precarious times felt unnatural, it would to her as well. They had to help people, always be on standby; that was what a job as sheriff entailed. David had to be reasonable, however, and understand that she was right. He could rest now, take a step back and let Emma take over, regardless of how emotionally compromised she currently was.

"I'll stop by the station on my way to the loft to put up a sign that we're only handling emergencies today." It was a last attempt to be useful, not wanting to capitulate completely.

Who was she to deny him that?

Emma shaped her lips into a smile. "Thanks, David." It was simultaneously a permission as a genuine sign of gratitude. He was the best colleague and friend anyone could ever wish for.

"Send me a text when he's out, will you?" he requested, making her notice David's affinity towards Killian.

He had said they were friends and maybe Emma was being a bit too self-centered on how this was affecting her, that she forgot that David had to be struggling as well. Even more reason to let him go home.

"I will," Emma reassured, summoning every ounce of sincerity she possessed and inserting it into those two words. Anything to make him catch his sleep quicker and worry less.

She sat back down on the uncomfortable chair, the plastic squeaking in response, and watched David get into the elevator, his departure leaving her alone again with her worry.

Her head rested on her arm, arm on the thin bar of metal of the chair. It was imprinted into her skin, a red line running from her elbow to her upper arm, but she couldn't seem to muster the energy to switch her position.

A white coat appeared in front of her, Emma hurriedly looking up and meeting the eyes of the person approaching. Dr. Whale came closer, a facade of neutrality preventing Emma from reading him, from concluding how it went before Whale even opened his mouth.

"Sheriff," he greeted her with a small nod. Emma practically jumped out of her chair. "We've finished Mr. Jones' operation with success and he's stable again."

Her shoulders sagged in relief, the tension leaving her body in one big swoop.

"Can I see him?" she asked, trying to control her eagerness in front of Whale.

It didn't seem to completely work as Whale slightly narrowed his eyes and tilted his head.

"Oh," is his surprised response. "We only allow family into the ICU before visiting hours."

She was barely holding on as it were, barely able to calm herself, waiting even longer would make that impossible. Her mind would conjure images of unrecognizable Killian, the only indication of his identity the color of his empty gaze, and would flash them across her closed eyelids.

"I'm his girlfriend," she blurted out, so adamant on seeing him that she would even admit that there was something going on between them, that Emma's concern went further than just a worried sheriff. Whale almost succeeded in hiding the shock from his face but didn't question her admission.

"Oh," he repeats, the sound even more befuddled than the last. "I wasn't aware. No problem if that's the case. I would like to warn you that it will be a shock to see him."

Dr. Whale lead her through the maze of hospital hallways and hospital rooms until they stood still before a door. Emma felt the doctor scanning her, assessing if she was ready, if she wasn't going to faint or break down and apparently, he was more sure of that than she was.

Even though Whale had warned her, she still felt the tingle through her body as the door opened and revealed Killian. He had a cracked lip, a discoloration on his eye, a gash on his forehead, but the most pronounced thing, the thing that made Emma silently gasp as she covered her mouth was his left hand–or rather the lack of it.

"We tried to salvage his hand but it was completely crushed," Whale explained.

She couldn't seem to be able to stop staring at the white bandage.

"How could that happen?"

"To cause this sort of damage–," Whale gestured to Killian. "–you would have to hit the hand with a very heavy object and multiple times.

Multiple times. And intentional.

"So this couldn't have been accidental," Emma concluded.

While the deduction was mostly meant for herself, Whale still shook his head.

"Definitely not. Someone heinous really must've held a grudge against him."

You could call him that.

"Emma," Whale said, turning towards her and surprising her with the use of her first name. "He's going to be fine. He'll have to do a lot of adjusting as can be expected with the loss of such a vital limb. It will take a while for his face to heal and his bruises to disappear, but besides that, he will survive."

"Thanks." It came out mumbled and despondent. Emma wasn't doubting his survival; it was his mental state she was worried about.

Whale must have realized that as well as his hand squeezed her shoulder in one final act of consolation before he left the room, before he left her alone with him.

"Let one of the nurses know if you need anything."

I just need him to wake up and really be okay.

There were about three instances where Killian began to stir and his face contorted and Emma prepared herself for his rousing, sitting straight and leaning towards him, only to be disappointed when his eyes stayed closed and his body turned limp again.

She attempted to make the wait less excruciating and more bearable; Emma played games on her phone, texted with David and Mary Margaret, scrolled through Facebook and watched a couple of videos. She had to tell Leroy that a lost axe was not an emergency and that he shouldn't bother her if he hadn't exactly that. He had rumbled a grumpy reply and had ended the call.

Because of the lack of change or progress in the last hour or so, and the abundance of hungry outcries her breakfast-and-lunch-void stomach was making, Emma decided to check out the hospital cafeteria for some bad to mediocre coffee and maybe some pastries. Who was she kidding: a lot of pastries.

Choosing a table in the corner, right by the window and far away from the bustle, Emma sat down. She did some contemplating, her hands curled around the steaming cup of coffee. She thought of the last twenty-four hours, of the last few months. Of all that had happened, of how her life had been a rollercoaster. The fear, the heartbreak, frustration, and anger but, above all, the love. The nail of her index dented the soft cardboard of the cup.

You love him.

Yeah… she did.

The feeling had been lingering around her for most of the time they spent together, approaching with every smile, every flower, every kiss. It had nearly taken over her entire body, settled into her mind and heart when Killian had forced her to pull up her walls again, denying it access. It had somehow managed to creep up on her anew, only becoming clear as she faced losing him, as she came this close to not having him around anymore. Distress revealed important things sometimes.

Not knowing what to do with all of this newly acquired knowledge, Emma sighed and stood up. She threw her wrappers in the trash and made her way to the elevator. Her finger pressed the button, sparking a little light, and she waited, teeth nervously nibbling on her lip

The elevator doors opened after notifying Emma that she had arrived at her destination. Rubbing her hand over her face, she got out. She felt tired. Both mentally and physically and both could be blamed on the man lying unconscious in the hospital bed three doors down. She took a moment to gather her courage again, to prepare herself for the upsetting sight she still hadn't grown used to.

The room looked exactly like she had left it–bed in the middle, two chairs on the side, a small table, lots of wires and machines–with the exception of a now awoken Killian Jones.

She couldn't've been gone that long, could she? For him to wake up and to calmly and lucidly be staring at his left arm.

Emma closed the door, causing Killian to look up at her. His eyes were empty of emotion; no tears, no anger, no pain and it only reaffirmed her worry about his mental state.

There was silence, a long, outstretched, awkward silence. It was Emma's fault because she couldn't think of anything to say, couldn't open her mouth and let out a word. And Killian just watched her.

Say something, Emma. Anything.

"Hi."

Killian cleared his throat and swallowed visibly, his Adam's apple bobbing.

"Hello," he rasped.

The sound instantly made Emma search for a remedy of his discomfort and she found one, a bottle of water and a plastic cup on the small, wooden table. The water was poured into the cup, the cup was handed to Killian, who had a look of relief written all over his face.

"Thank you," he said, the sound less raspy than before.

"Don't mention it."

Emma sat down on the chair next to his bed, clasping her hands together and rubbing her thumb over the surface of her palm.

"How long have you been awake?"

Or how long ago did he discover his left hand was gone.

"About half an hour."

She nodded in understanding.

"How long have you been here?" he asked in return.

"Since this morning so about eight or nine hours."

Killian didn't reply and Emma didn't know if she should continue to carry the conversation or if she should just let it die down, if that was what he needed; peace and quiet to let him absorb everything.

Her eyes roamed the room, painfully aware of the tension and avoiding him, his eyes, his bruises, his stump, with determination.

"Go ahead," Killian suddenly spoke up, forcing her eyes to stop darting around and settle on him again.

"What?"

Emma assumed that she looked startled and confused, eyes wide and eyebrows creased. Did she miss something while being so focused on evading more awkwardness and speechlessness?

"Scream, shout, do whatever you'd like." It was hopeless, careless and yet again Emma would give everything to know what was going on in his mind; she simply wanted to understand.

"I'm not going to yell at you, Killian." She sounded a bit indignant at his suggestion that he would think she was capable of yelling at him in the situation he was currently in.

"Emma," and Killian seemed to share her exasperation. "you have every right to. I know you're angry and feel like venting. So vent."

He was right. The anger lay under a layer of worry but now that he was okay, he was doing as good as he could in this situation, the layer was thinning, only a fine sheet, fragile and breakable.

Her eyes stared at him, a harsh gaze without any blinks. She licked her lips and pressed them together so hard that her tongue picked up the iron taste of blood that came out of the dents her teeth created. Her view became dark as she closed her eyes and attempted to control her breathing. It didn't help, however. Emma felt layer crack, felt it break under the weight.

"You are a fucking idiot, Killian Jones." Her lips barely moved as she whispered the words while shaking her head.

Her voice slightly rose with her next words but never passed a normal conversational tone. He wanted her to yell, to scream in outrage and lose control but she was not going to, because she knew the words would carry more of her sincerity, of her disapproval this way. Killian knew too.

"You could've gotten yourself killed and you are so lucky David found you in time. You promised me you wouldn't do fucking shit like this and scare the hell out of me."

He didn't answer for a while, settled for watching her with attentive eyes. He waited until she calmed down, until breathing came less in spasms.

"If it makes you feel better, I've paid a price for my mistake."

By shaking it, he pulled her attention towards the bandaged stump.

"Don't, alright?" she bit and a warning finger got pointed his way. A shiver traveled through her body and Emma knew what this meant. Sure enough, the water started gathering at the ridges of her eyes. Tears of fear. Tears because and for him.

"Don't make jokes about that. Nothing about this is funny. I can't even trust you anymore, Killian. Do you even know what you put me through?" Emma clenched her teeth, trying to stop the flood but it was in vain. The tears quickly multiplied and ran in great numbers down her cheeks as she thought not only of the stint that had landed him here but of everything he had done. "I thought you were gone for good, that I'd lost you like everyone else," she admitted, her voice unsteady.

"I'm sorry, Emma." And it seemed like the guilt was too much to bear in that moment, like he couldn't face her because he was ashamed and that was why he closed his eyes.

Emma roughly wiped her tears away and averted her gaze.

"So am I."

She didn't want to dwell in this mix of anger and fear, not while he was okay and alive but it was proving to be a challenge to extinguish the fire, to assuage the distress raging inside.

"I'm going out for some air," she announced, standing up immediately and not even staying long enough to let him respond.

The automatic doors rolled open for her, granting her access to leave the hospital, and the cold air immediately hit her skin. The sky was slowly turning dark, a last color burst of purple and orange and pink being painted before Emma's very eyes. A small stone bench stood not far from the entrance and she sat down, crossing her legs under her body and resting her hands on her knees. Her eyelids closed as Emma focused on her breathing again. In and out. Let the panic out and the calm in. Let the racing thoughts out and the silence in.

It helped.

How much time passed before it helped, Emma wasn't sure, but at least it did.

The sun had completely set by the time she felt ready, the streetlights buzzing to make up for the lost light, but Emma didn't immediately return inside; she didn't rush to rejoin Killian. There was something else she needed to do first.

She stood up, stretching her legs. Her hand dove into her pocket, in search of her phone and when she found it she dialed David's number. He had asked for an update of how his friend was doing and Emma owed it to him.

Emma lightly maundered across the concrete while listening to sounds her phone was emitting. The call went straight to voicemail, something that Emma knew was Mary Margaret's doing. It was a reassuring thing, knowing that David had her to take care of him, to make sure he rested.

"Hi, David, it's me." She cleared her throat to get rid of the last remnants of the discussion with Killian. "Killian is awake." It was the first thing she said, the most important thing he needed to know. "Umm... he's doing good, considering the situation. Too good if you ask me." Her hand gently untangled her hair. "He was only awake for an hour when we already fought, but I think that I just really needed to get some stuff off my chest and he really needed the wake-up call. I'm outside right now to give us both some space and I'm planning to return in a bit. I'm probably going to stay at the hospital for the night as well. He needs someone to be with him and support him, I think. Umm… I'll take the early shift tomorrow, as usual, so definitely don't worry about that and don't worry about Killian either; he's in good hands. Yeah… I think that's it. Give Elliot and Mary Margaret a kiss from me and I'll see you tomorrow. Bye."

Emma quietly slipped back in the room, taking notice of the dimmed lights and closed curtains. As soundlessly as she could, Emma took off her jacket and sat back in the chair.

"You came back," he said, voice somewhere between a whisper and a breath. Emma startled as she thought he was asleep.

"I did."

Her words came out as quiet as his question but lacked the wonder his carried.

"What time is it?" Killian asked, eyelids still hiding his cyan irises.

Retrieving the device from her pocket, she clicked it to life again.

"It's… 9 pm," she answered.

"Are you allowed to stay here this late?"

"Um…" Secretly, she was hoping that he wouldn't ask about that, especially since they had already covered so many emotions today and how exactly was she going to explain this without creating more confusion? "Family is, and seeing that I told Whale I'm your girlfriend, I don't think he'll make a problem of it."

She should've been deaf or blind not to notice the sudden spike in Killian's heart monitor.

"Oh," was his simple reply.

He clearly had no idea if she meant it or if it was just a cover to get to him; if that was what she wanted or only a temporary thing.

Emma didn't know either, if she was being honest.

"Thank you, Swan."

"For what?" she asked, genuinely unaware of what he was referring to.

"For lying to Whale." Their eyes met. "For being here." And for the first time in twenty-four hours, Emma knew what he was thinking, knew that what he was expressing was what he truly felt inside. The look on his face was so sincere that it slightly took her breath away and that she sensed the familiar chills run over her skin.

They would be alright.

"Don't mention it." The corner of her lips gently went up. "Do you want me to stay the night?"

It was his decision, completely his to take; she would adjust herself to his needs, to what was best for him.

"Where would you sleep?" Killian replied to her question with one of his own. He attempted to lift his head to scan the room for any possibility of accommodation and Emma could see the strain in his neck, the effort it was taking to such a simple thing after such a complicated surgery and such an eventful day.

"In a chair." Her shoulders slightly went up. "It wouldn't be the first time."

Back in the day, when Neal was still her great and eternal love, they made it a sport to sleep in unusual spots, in places that seemed completely inept to slumber at first sight but they made something of it. They were good at that, self-sufficiency and ingenuity.

There still had been no actual answer to what she needed to know, so Emma tilted her head and lightly raised her eyebrows, repeating the question without any words. Even in the dimmed light, she could see the tips of his ears redden as he admitted his preference.

"I'd like that."

Her lips curled as she witnessed the return of bashful Killian and the familiarity of it felt like a warm embrace.

"Okay."

At first, she tried to fight the sleep, startling awake each time she realized her eyelids started slowly dropping. Emma tried to keep her them open, tried to be what he needed, someone to watch over him, someone to protect him, to soothe him but.

I can think of a word that describes all of that.

"Emma," Killian said softly, his voice a whisper of reassurance. "Close your eyes, love, I'm here. And I'm not going anywhere."

Emma nuzzled further into the small, white pillow, sighing with relaxation as she did.

"You better not," was mumbled right before the familiar lull took over and gently put her to sleep.

A/N: This is the penultimate chapter so we are very close to the end. I'd love to hear what you thought of this

#cs ff #captain swan #cs au #cs crew #cs mc #bpabg #my words and sentences

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