#I could do research and video editing. please | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bluefairyhere · 1 year ago

Text

Same time tomorrow?|| Colby Brock scenario

¬Colby meets a girl at a coffee shop.

Pairing->f!reader x f!reader

w.c 1.7k

cw. very fluffy and corny

Almost every morning was the same for you. Get up, take a shower, grab your books and laptop and head to the coffee shop down the street to get productive. For some reason it was easier for you to focus and avoid procrastinating at said coffee shop, which was beautiful.

Vines all over the wall outside, this white, cottage-core-like vibe that you got from all the arrangements inside. The plants, the yellow-ish lighting, the kind old lady bartending--who you always thought was the owner--the bookshelves on two of the walls inside. Everything about this coffee shop was perfect and it screamed inspiration. It was the place you felt the most calm at. Until you saw him for the first time.

His dark hair falling a little on his forehead, his piercing blue eyes, muscular complexion and tattoos. His nose piercing and the chains plus the rings on almost every finger. He was so mysterious and edgy.

You could still remember the first time you saw him walk in. You usually never noticed whoever walked throught the door, but for some reason as soon as the little doorbell rang indicating someone'd come in, you felt an electrifying need to see who it was. And it was him, of course, with his sufficient smirk and careless demeanor. Yet when he ordered his coffee he acted so nice and happy, not edgy and damp. From the very first moment you found him fascinating.

Then the next morning he came back, but unlike the day before he actually stayed to drink his coffee while scrolling on his phone and didn't even notice you were there. Not like you were expecting him to. He was probably taken, or a total player and either way he wouldn't look in your direction. Why would he? you were just a simple literature major trying to get through the weeks without losing your mind. But you had no idea how wrong you were, because Colby had noticed you from the very first day.

He remembered going into the coffee shop Sam had told him about--apparently they made the best coffee of all times at the lowest price ever witnessed for such quality, or so Sam said-- and not being disappointed with what he ordered. But while he was in line to order he'd noticed you from afar, at the back of the whole establishment, focused on your books and laptop. He instantly thought you were the prettiest girl he'd ever seen, and your aura seemed so tender and pure. He knew right away he wanted to get to know you, but how? It's not like he could just casually sit down at the table, introduce himself and ask you out. So the next day, he went to the coffee shop again, and there you were. Same table, same books, same laptop. He went for a week and he started to bring his stuff as well, mostly his laptop to do some editing and research for his videos. Hell week was coming so all the recording was already done, now they just needed to do the editing, and he also found the coffee shop an extremely relaxing and nice place to get stuff done. Plus, when he got tired, he'd look at you for a few seconds and feel recharged again. It was the weirdest thing, he wasn’t one to feel so connected to someone he’d never talked to before.

When you noticed he started sitting in the shop and working as he ate and drank his now usual muffin and what seemed to be plain coffee, you couldn’t help but imagine little scenarios in your head in which you’d go up to him and say anything, or he’d come up to you and…

“Hey.” You looked up, killing your previous train of thought. It was him. A plain black shirt with a XPLORE inscription in white, ripped black jeans with chains, rings on his fingers and his nose piercing practically staring at you.

“Huh?” Is all you could mumble. You did not expect this.

“May I sit here?” He asked with a small smirk, and you nodded.

“I noticed you since the very first time I came into this coffee shop… please let me take you on a date.”

You were about to say something when your phone rang, waking you up. It was a dream, you dosed off on the chair, head on the table. You looked around and he was gone, luckily. You hoped he didn’t see you like that.

And so the days kept going by and you continued to see him at the coffee shop, still daydreaming about who this handsome stranger was and the things you could do together. You were already at peace with the idea of him being nothing but a proximity crush and never really knowing anything about him, not even his name. Until one day he just stopped going. One day passed, then three and before you knew it, it had been a week.

You had no idea why. It’s not like you were super sad, but you missed seeing him around. You thought your proximity crush would die with his absence, but much to your surprise it actually didn't affect the way you were starting to feel about this handsome stranger.

All of a sudden, one day he came back. What you didn't know is that he had come back from recording at another haunted location with Sam and the crew, where he had an epiphany. He needed to talk to you. So that day, when you walked into the coffee shop he was sitting at your usual table, at your exact usual spot of the table too. Why would he do that? Surely he must have noticed you sit there every morning. You looked around, unsure about what to do. You even looked at the bar tender, but all the old lady had to do about it was giggle and shake her head, clearly amused.

You sighed and decided you'd take the table next to that one, so you were walking right past it. You were about to put all your stuff on said table but Colby's raspy voice prevented you from it.

"You don't need to sit there." You stopped on your tracks, not believing what you were hearing. You turned back to him.

"Sorry?" You acknowledging him made Colby feel way less confident, but he didn't show it.

"I'm not new here, I know you usually sit here. I was just wondering if you wouldn't mind... sharing a table with me?"

You looked around, confused. At this time of the day the shop wasn't very concurred with people so there was no need to share a table with a stranger. Even so, you had no idea why you were pushing things since getting to know him was all you wanted to do since you saw him for the first time. "I'm sorry but... why?"

Colby seemed to hesitate, but he had gone through almost every possible outcome of this situation with Sam. He could do this. He had to, it was now or never.

"I just figured it'd be nice. I'm Colby, Colby Brock." He stands up and offers his hand for you to shake. However, youre too stunned to process that. Just what was going on? Was he asking you to sit with him? For real?

"Im y/n, nice to meet you too." You were a little hesitant too, but honestly this was all you dreamt of lately, and it was finally happening. You decided to not overthinking and just sit down, right in front of you.

At first it was a little awkward, neither of you knew what to say.

"So, I've always wondered," Colby broke the silence "what is it you do with so many books every morning? And like you stick post-it's on it and write notes on your laptop... are you like a writer doing research or?"

You giggles a bit.

"Not really, I'm actually a literature major. I come here in the mornings to do my homework and papers and stuff." You said still smiling. "I could show you if you'd like."

"Yea sure, I'd love to see." So you took out your stuff and showed him the goods. You were currently working with two books.

"So what we're doing is making an essay comparing the accuracy of The Song of Achilles with the actual Achilles legend thing, its really interesting because..." And he was actually listening! A couple of hours passed and you learnt a lot about each other. You learnt he's a youtuber, hasn't been in a relationship for a while, likes writing music, is religious, amongst other things. And he learnt even more stuff about you since he couldn't stop asking. He was so obviously very interested. But you both realized it was time to go and continue with the day.

"This has been lovely," you said "but unfortunately if I dont leave now I won't be able to make it to campus on time." You said almost pouting.

"Yea I know, I have a meeting with the crew as well... But before you go," he seemed unsure about whether to say this or not, but after what seemed like a quick internal debate, he decided he'd say it. "I had been wanting to talk to you for weeks, and I'm glad I did. Maybe we could exchange numbers, if that's something you'd like to do?"

You felt your cheeks instantly redden. You were so sure this was going to be a one time thing, but you were so glad he was asking because you wanted this to happen again. And again. And again. You nodded.

"Of course." You offered him your phone so he'd type your number. After he was done you dialed his phone. "All done, have a good day." And you left. When you reached the door you looked back, and there he was, starting at you with that cute, satisfied smile of his. You waved and smile and he did so back. Then you left, and before you got to the bus stop you got a text message.

Same time tomorrow?

#colby brock #colby brock fluff #colby brock imagine #colby brock smut #colby brock x reader #sam and colby #hell week #colby brock scenario #colby brock x y/n #colby brock x you #colby brock fanfic #fanfic #sam and colby fanfiction

209 notes · View notes

butchpeace · 7 months ago

Text

Pelvic Floor Health for Detrans Women

A disclaimer before we start: I am not a doctor, a PT, or an expert of any kind, I just noticed there was a lack of information about pelvic floor health in the detrans (and trans) communities and I wanted to compile the information that I’ve gained. If there are any issues or you have any wisdom to share, please DM me! I plan to add to this post and edit it over time as I learn more.

95% of females who have been on testosterone report pelvic health issues, which can include urinary leakage or retention, bladder pain, difficulty emptying the bladder, general pelvic pain, pain with sex, vaginal dryness, vaginal atrophy, vaginismus, anal issues, and more. (Source)

Here’s a discussion with a pelvic floor expert on the issues faced by females who have been on testosterone.

If you’ve experienced any of these problems, you’re not alone, and there are things you can do!

Vaginal Atrophy

The vast majority of detransitioning women (and females who are transitioning) have vaginal atrophy, which is a thinning and weakening of the tissues that line the vaginal wall. Atrophy can lead to pain during sex, or with regular movement, bleeding due to small tears in the vaginal lining, narrowing of the vaginal canal, urinary issues, and more.

Because testosterone affects our ovaries, we can think of this issue as something similar to GSM (Genitourinary Syndrome of Menopause). Many of our symptoms mirror what happens to women as they age and their estrogen production decreases.

Treatments for Atrophy

1. Vaginal estrogen comes in the form of creams, suppositories, and insertable rings.

2. Vitamin E suppositories have been found to be as effective as vaginal estrogen in some studies. (Source)

3. Sea Buckthorn oil capsules have been shown to be effective in vaginal health. (Source)

4. Regular sexual activity can help by filling the vaginal wall tissues with blood, which can help to revitalize those tissues.

There are also many options for dryness, including vaginal moisturizers, aloe, coconut oil, and more. Sometimes the simplest natural options can be the most effective! Always talk to your gynecologist and do your own research on products you’re considering buying and make sure the ingredients are safe. Some people may experience yeast infections and other issues when using certain products.

Vaginal atrophy itself is to blame in many cases for the urinary symptoms that many of us report, and treating the atrophy may be all that’s needed in order to improve the urinary symptoms.

In other cases, we also need to look at overall pelvic floor health. I would argue that taking care of your pelvic floor is essential for any woman at any stage of life, since it can help with so many things!

Pelvic Floor Muscle Issues

Pelvic floor health issues can be divided into 2 types - Hypotonicity and Hypertonicity. Both types can lead to bladder issues, among other things.

Hypotonicity is the classic type many women experience after having children or during menopause. It’s also described as having a weak pelvic floor, and kegels are often the best treatment. The YouTube playlist at the end of this post includes videos for beginner and advanced kegel exercise methods and yoga.

Hypertonicity is the opposite type, where the pelvic muscles are chronically tight. For this, the treatment is to use muscle release methods to relax the pelvic floor. Remember - Relaxed muscles are the best at doing their job.

Anxiety can also be a factor in hypertonicity! If you’re often anxious, get used to checking how that feels in your pelvic floor. Many young women experience bladder leakage or discomfort, feeling like you have to go when you don’t, or pain with sexual activity, due to anxiety which causes overly tight muscles.

You wouldn’t think at first that Hypertonicity could lead to urinary symptoms like leakage, but when your muscles are overly tight, they just don’t work the way they should.

Sitting a lot and generally not getting much exercise also causes muscles in the pelvic floor, hips, and hamstrings to tighten and become shorter, so stretching these areas is very helpful.

And when you have a urinary issue, or you’re dealing with the aftermath of childbirth, surgery, or any other medical trauma to the pelvic floor, there can be a tendency to reflexively tighten your muscles all the time, for fear of what might happen if you don’t. Some people with hypertonicity also experience their symptoms getting worse if they do a lot of kegel exercise. In these situations, kegels can become counterintuitive.

That said, using methods to address both types can be the best option for some people. As long as you listen to your body, keep track of how each method makes you feel, and talk with a doctor or pelvic floor PT if you have serious concerns or don’t understand how to do something, you should be able to figure out something that will help!

Vaginismus is also a very common condition that’s connected to hypertonicity and potential mental causes. You’ll know you have Vaginismus if you’ve always had trouble inserting things into your vagina, or if your partner has had trouble with it. Many women describe it as a sensation of the vagina closing up when faced with something trying to get in. You may find that at certain times or with certain objects, you have no problem, and at other times or with other objects, you do. Stretches and massages for hypertonicity can often help with Vaginismus.

Prolapse is a relatively common issue in women who have had kids and older women in menopause. This can also cause urinary symptoms. The incidence of pelvic floor prolapse in females on testosterone is not known, but due to atrophy weakening the walls of the vagina, it’s possible that testosterone will increase your risk. It’s also more common in people who have had a hysterectomy.

Tools

1. Vaginal dilators can be helpful for people who have trouble with Vaginismus or feel like their vagina is small. These are also helpful for people who have difficulty inserting fingers

2. A pelvic wand or vibrator can help you with massage to loosen muscles, if needed

4. Kegel trainers come in various types and can help you perform kegels more effectively if you know that your issue is hypotoniticy

5. Pessaries can help in cases where atrophy has led to pelvic floor prolapse. Make sure you get diagnosed before using one!

6. Your hands! Don’t underestimate the power of using your hands for external or internal massage

The biggest thing to take away from this post is this - Don’t be afraid of your vagina or pelvic floor! Don’t be afraid to try things that may help you improve whatever issues you’re having.

Your vagina is a normal part of your body, and especially when you’re experiencing issues, that’s when it’s time to really learn about it and understand what’s going on. If you’re anything like me, you’ve gone your whole life being too afraid or too uninformed to do certain things or explore your body in certain ways. We need to reduce the fear, stigma, and awkwardness of vaginal and pelvic floor issues, and the first step is to get to know your body. 💪

Exercises

I’ve put together a playlist of YouTube videos that have helped me in this process, which I will continue to add to. I hope they help you too!

And again, please DM me with any information you think is helpful or stories about what worked for you.

And if you’re a medical professional, I would love for you to review this post and suggest edits or additions.

Please share this with all your friends! My intention is for this to be a community resource we can use to spread awareness✌🏼

#detrans #detransition #lesbian #feminism #butch #trans #transgender #ftm

147 notes · View notes

burirammin · 5 months ago

Text

Did I just find a really really good clip of marc with clear visor in slow motion? from a motogp game soundtrack video?? spectacular.

But what really caught my eyes was the fact that he was braking with FOUR fingers and that the video was from 2013, his first year in premier class. That made me paused a bit because he is pretty well-known (to me at least) for using just ONE finger in motogp, an index, just like casey. Here's an example with how vale does it for comparison.

So there I go, to do some research aka. googling session that ends with me having a beef with a six years old video for audio editing mistake so catastrophic it cut off parts of interview that could potentially give me more info... and it loops the same audio part again and again and again. Drives me nuts.

Found the same video on videopass yes yess thank you!!

Anyway! It was a video on braking techniques of different riders (with interviews. from 2018) and marc said that of course he use one finger to brake, has always done that. But he used to use all four fingers to do so when he was riding a 125cc bike and then when he pass to moto2 he start experimenting with his techniques and change from one to the other end of the two extremes, from four fingers to just one. Said the technique was a crossover from him training a lot on motocross, where he use just one finger to brake. (Not a word for word quote but close enough)

Here's how he brake in 125cc

And here's how he does it in motogp

left : four fingers (2013) right : one finger (2018)

This is interesting, he's still braking with four fingers in 2013 (though I am not sure when the footage was from. It was definitely from before mid june of that year so, at least before Catalunya) Maybe he was still trying out things even in 2013 despite him saying he start to change it all in moto2? So i took a closer look at his braking hand during one of his moto2 race and guess what?

He did use four finger still in the footages i found, like this one from Valencia 2012

I also look up those slow motion videos of the 2013 season and he's still using four fingers even in Jerez so that too (gif below).

By my limited research he would have change his technique somewhere between the end of 2013 season to before the start of 2015 season (because otherwise this reddit post would not exist and I reckon he’d not change mid-season, or maybe he would. Might look into it later)

Soooo yeah... this seems to be a case of him riding so much, for so long he FORGOT details about HIS OWN riding techniques. My silly cunty boy. Mister Marc 'I don't read' Marquez, maybe you should read btw it might help with your memory 😭

Note : If anyone have more info, please feel free to add on to the post. I'll eat it all up like cake I promise.

#not surprised he forgot but find it funny anyway. yep. tracks #gonna stop it here because my head hurts. nighty night #footages of him braking are surprisingly hard to find #like he’s not using the brake for 80% of all the slow motion videos I looked at it's insane #k.moto.yap #k.gif #marc marquez #mm93 #motogp

56 notes · View notes

honeyhotteoks · 2 months ago

Note

do you have any advice on like getting better with writing?

hey! i definitely do!! i’ve talked about this before but i have a lot of new readers, so ill start off by saying i’ve been writing for my entire life, and im 30 so thats a lot of years. if you’re a new writer, trust me i used to be there and good god if you guys could see the stuff i published in old fandoms 💀 really, really bad haha

i only say that because i by no means consider myself a great writer, there are fic writers in this space alone that i’m always so floored by and look up to…. but people have been very kind about my writing style and it’s something that took time to develop it’s not something i just “had”. outside of fic, i was a literature and creative writing major, and got very used to writing and workshopping pieces.

now! onto some actual advice —

1. read a lot and read more, but read stuff you actually like and not stuff you feel pressured to read. i love high brow litfic as much as the next pretentious english major, but i started writing a ton after reading a bunch of kindle unlimited romance because it was fun and it got me inspired

2. watch well written television for dialogue and pacing. people do not talk in proper english, they don’t say things eloquently, and there’s a lot of filler and fluff. that’s good! that’s real, so i love well written tv to show me how it’s done

3. get comfortable writing in weird ways. for years i used to sit down and be like “ah okay so chapter one” and then i was stuck, stalled out, and just felt bad about the process. when i started writing both aurora and tnt, i started in the middle. i had an image of a scene in my mind (for tnt it was actually the claim attempt) and i just wrote it out and then bounced around later

4. outlines are your friend! sometimes i’ll get a random line of dialogue in my head or an image but that doesn’t mean i’m ready to write it. i throw it in one big outline so i don’t lose it.

5. if you’re wanting to write really good smut i have two suggestions but please only do this to your personal comfort level. this is what works for me but do not make yourself uncomfortable— for good smut, i watch porn for reference and for good dirty talk, i listen to nsfw audio. i like to really write the visuals for smut and make it immersive but lol i haven’t experienced everything ive written about and logistics of the body are hard!! i usually find a video or an audio and let that help guide the imagery im writing.

6. be comfortable with the editing process. i know the temptation to post something the minute you finish it is there, but sleep on it. come back and edit it, read the dialogue out loud if you have to. i swear you’ll make the piece better just by leaving it and coming back.

7. don’t be afraid to post. most people are kind, and the worst thing that will happen is you don’t get a lot of notes. that’s okay, it’s a process.

8. research! as i’m writing anything, even a silly little oneshot, im doing research on something. i am hyper aware that im not korean and have never spoken korean or lived in korea, so for my fic i try my hardest to ground elements of that in reality. i truly cannot tell you how many hours ive spent reading like korean case law on revenge porn just for like 3 lines of dialogue. and you don’t have to go that crazy, i’m arguably too intense, but i do think some of that helps the story and the dialogue feel real.

9. describe something real- every place in my writing is based on something real. every apartment, hotel, cafe, venue, etc., they’re all either something i’ve found online or drawn from my life and use that to my advantage. i use apartment listings and save photographs, i do google map walks to see what neighborhoods look like, anything to get the feel of a place or an experience. for the christmas chapters of aurora, i watched hours of gwangju walking tour videos on youtube while i was writing just to understand how to describe their walk in the snow. it really helps me to have a visual that i can put words to.

10. find your weak points and see what other writers do differently. if you want to improve, you should find a small place to start. is it dialogue? overall plot? smut? etc. - i’ll never forget being on a creative writing retreat, and a very important writing professor said to me “everything you write is very pretty but you haven’t said anything. you have to decide to say something.” that feedback hurt, but sent me down a much better writing path when i realized where i was falling short and not challenging myself.

okay i hope some of this was helpful and if it’s a mess im sorry im on mobile. i really just love writing so deeply and will always talk about it, so i hope this was helpful 💗

#answered anon #honeyhotteoks thoughts

32 notes · View notes

arebirthingofsorts · 1 year ago

Text

the entirety of buzzfeed unsolved but the stories are in chronological order: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLGGIwil6tMX95BMdYvMY8Co5Y2J8yxpe-

supernatural was very hard to do so under the cut i've added my reasons for some difficult episodes to list! if anyone has qualms with it or if you notice any mistakes in the playlist please let me know!

the london tombs, la llorona, and the voodoo episodes were difficult due to no real timeframe being known for when they began so i based the london tombs off of ryan saying the bridge has been around since ancient rome which is why it's one of the first videos in the playlist. la llorona required me to do my own research which led me to believe the story came about in the 1500s? possibly predating that but the first written versions were apparently from the 1500s. for the voodoo new orleans episode i did some research and based it on when it could have been brought to the area.

for bigfoot, mothman, and the men in black, i listed those based on the first encounters/evidence presented

many of the locations, i listed based on when they closed their operations or the owners passed before becoming noted haunted locations. (winchester house, sorrel-weed, villa montezuma, whaley house, old city jail, pythian castle, vulture mine, waverly hills, bellaire house, eastern state, rolling hills)

other haunted ones are currently still operating so i listed those based on when they first opened or got into the hands of the current owners (viaduct tavern, st. augustine, tombstone, goatman's bridge, the viper room, bobby mackey's, moon river)

dauphine orleans hotel was listed as the date ryan said a license to may bailey was given for the bordello. im very unsure about this one so if anyone has suggestions on how to list this one, please reach out EDIT: decided on 1775 because ryan mentioned that year as the site the hotel is on and i felt more sure about it that choice

farnsworth was listed as the year of the battle of gettysburg due to the house being named after a soldier who died in that battle + notable events happening and around the house

the bermuda triangle was tricky so i listed that as the date the term "bermuda triangle" was first coined EDIT: it's been moved to close to the top of the playlist due to the first alleged reporting of weird bermuda shit being by christopher columbus in 1492. this made more sense to me

colchester and morris-jumel are museums now so those were dated as when they were officially museums

the uss yorktown and the queen mary are listed as when they docked for good.

the alien abductions episode is in the 70s area of the playlist because 2/3 of the stories happened in the 70s.

the date the island of the dolls began is where i based "3 horrifying cases of ghosts and demons" since there are separate episodes for the winchester mansion and the sallie house

i based all the haunted locations on those things because i figured that the ghosties would appear after the notable deaths and wild events instead of listing all of them as when they first opened.

i hope all of this makes sense. enjoy.

#buzzfeed unsolved #bfu #buzzfeed unsolved supernatural #buzzfeed unsolved true crime #bfu supernatural #bfu true crime #ryan bergara #shane madej

260 notes · View notes

phecdasolar · 6 months ago

Text

Friendly reminder that if you see something bad or stressful on the internet you can ignore it. If you see something bad that’s trending you don’t have to click on it.

Your mental health comes first. This is going out specifically and especially to all my fellow hyper-empathetic people out there. If you know that going down a rabbit hole of information on a specific horrible topic is going to make you depressed or feel like crap then you don’t have to interact with that. (Edit: I have been informed that this is called “doomscrolling.” To repeat what I was told: Doomscrolling is not activism. It doesn’t end up helping anybody and it only hurts you.)

In this day and age where we have access to the internet and information about soooooo many different horrible things it can be so easy to get sucked in to all of it. We have wars, we have constant natural disasters (there’s a massive fire close to where I live right now, it’s barely contained, and is rivaling the fire we had a few years ago that destroyed an entire town. It’s terrifying), we have beloved creators being accused and revealed to have done horrible things (the fact that I can say this and multiple names immediately pop into my head sickens me).

The point is, take a break. Get off the internet. Breathe. Go for a walk. Maybe look at videos of cute baby animals, or compilations of “restore your faith in humanity.” Go read a book. Eat something you like. Take a nap. Drink some water. Take a shower. If you’re religious, pray about it. Take care of yourself and don’t allow yourself to drown in the dread.

And for the people who might come at me for this saying “how dare you not care about the problems going on or the pain other people are in!” That’s the problem. It’s not that I don’t care, the problem is that I care too much. Please refer back to the hyper-empathetic part of this message. I am a sympathetic crier. I will allow myself to get so sucked in to an issue and I will end up feeling terrible about it. I won’t want to leave my bed, I feel like crying and throwing up and there is an everlasting pit in my stomach the size of Alaska. I am no help to anyone in a state like that, and neither is anyone else. I will say it again, take care of yourself and your mental health first.

There’s a reason on planes they tell you to put your own oxygen mask on first before helping others.

But that’s not to say you have to ignore it completely! Take a step back, take a break, and then engage when and only when you feel like you’re at the mental/emotional/psychological capacity to do so.

When coming back a tip I have is pick one specific issue, and focus on that. Only one. Don’t overwhelm yourself. If you can, find a friend or someone you know is reliable and levelheaded and talk to them about it. Multiple perspectives can help a lot, plus you feel less alone when tackling a difficult situation.

It’s important when you’re gathering information on the issue that you know your sources are reliable, and you’re doing your own research. “Okay, multiple people on Tumblr are screaming about something but they’re saying different things about what’s going on.” Tumblr is not a reliable or credible source I am sorry besties. We are a bunch of dumpster gremlin raccoons given access to a platform to scream out our personal thoughts and opinions. Please don’t take them as solid immediate truth.

I have more I could say on this probably but it’s 1 am and I am losing my thought coherency. Have a good night/day and take care of yourselves <3

#i speak #important #mental health #hyper-empathy #hyper empathy #hyper empathetic people out there this one’s for you #neil gaiman #global warming #war #natural disasters #parasocial relationships #content creators

52 notes · View notes

multiplicity-positivity · 7 months ago

Note

Hey I dunno if you’ve gotten this before but. Do you have anything on autism and DID/OSDD? Specifically resources or accounts and such (since I’ve seen the positivity post)

I struggle with emotional dysregulation, big memory issues (huge chunks of childhood and adolescence missing, forgetting things constantly, dissociating emotions from memories, etc,) frequent daydreaming/spacing out/dissociation, that type of thing (and a bit more that’s a little too complicated to explain in an ask lol)

I’ve always kind of figured it was just part of me being autistic (I’m professionally diagnosed and definitely very autistic regardless lol), but I’ve recently gone down a bit of a rabbit hole relating to plurality and now I’m wondering if it could be a symptom of DID/OSDD instead/as well (I was originally looking at something else and stumbled into the tags somehow. The original thing that led me here was foxes. I think. And then I had a bit of a panic as I realized how some of the symptoms were VERY close to some of my experiences. Especially the memories.) but i also can’t tell if it’s just some sort of brain fog(???? Is that the correct term?) / alexithymia / Unknown Autism Trait 3 that nobody ever talks about and is difficult to find any sort of explanation or resources for. And my brain protested and had the equivalent of being on the verge of a sobbing meltdown or mental overload of some sort when I tried to think about stuff relevant to the topic so I don’t think it’s going to be of much help to me right now.

obviously not asking for diagnosis or to self diagnose at all (since. I understand you cant really do either of those /lh /nm) but I’m curious if any of you know of any resources relating to this specific type of stuff? I feel like I’d go insane trying to find any info on it. (And also I don’t think my brain would want to cooperate if I asked it to because it basically shuts down, gives me a headache, and turns to a pathetic wet sobbing cat whenever I try to think about the possibility so I doubt I’ll be identifying as anything anytime soon but. I want some stuff to think over at least.)

hey, we also are autistic and have dissociative identity disorder. unfortunately, there isn’t really too much research on the overlap between autism and complex dissociative disorder diagnoses at this time, that we know of, but we do think that autistic people may have a higher likelihood of dissociating and developing a cdd than neurotypical people.

we really love mike lloyd’s work at the ctad clinic, and he has an insightful video on the intersection of autism and dissociation here:

youtube

here is an open access paper by katherine e. reuben and ayden parish on dissociation as a symptom in autism - it’s an interesting read and wasn’t too difficult for us to parse:

also, here are a couple life experience pieces by folks with both did and autism:

our own autism has contributed to our trauma history in how we were treated, formed attachment, and understood the world as a child. for our own system, our autism and our did are inextricably linked. we are certain that many other autistic systems feel the same.

if exploring this possibility for yourself is causing you great distress, it may be for the best to put this off to the side for now until you have reached a point with more stability or a greater support system in your life. please don’t overwhelm or cause yourself harm by looking into this possibility on your own, if it is unhealthy for you.

if you are in therapy or have a mental health professional in your life who you trust, this would be an excellent thing to bring up to them. though hopefully these resources can help you get started learning about this topic if you have the spoons/ability to do so.

we are no medical expert or research professional, but we are happy to talk more about our personal experience of being both autistic and a did system if anyone would be interested. best of luck to you, anon, with figuring this out. we know how confusing and challenging it can be!

#long post #dissociation #dissociative identity disorder #other specified dissociative disorder #did osdd #autism #autistic system #autigenic

25 notes · View notes

pixie-skull · 8 months ago

Text

My 278th edit and a huge thank you to @2009jorose for the suggestion and motivation too. =D I do attribute this edit to my friend @sailorzelda94 and I miss this friend so much. As well in tribute to @0chaotic-queer0 and @geebs96 . However I did take a few of casting ideas (as shown in first picture) and my own casting. I for whatever reason have a 10 photo limit, so please excuse my inability to post my typical “in the making” references. I am curious though who did I cast you agree with, disagree, and more (like asking what inspired outfits, which yes I attempted to recreate some famous portraits, or at least foreground characters). :D As well thank you @airasora for the background character I used her outfit in this edit too from Cinderella 2.

Henry VII: I casted Vladimir as similar body type, an underused character, if I could make videos, he has good scenes from the movie Anastasia.

Catherine of Aragon: I casted Cinderella as again reasons of @sailorzelda94 and bonus plenty of scenes over Cinderella trilogy.

Anne Boleyn: I know @2009jorose played with the idea of Meg, but I understand such limited screen time is that, limited in Hercules. That being said Meg I enjoyed the idea as Anne Boleyn. I suppose Marina from Dreamworks Sinbad could work, yet Meg looks closer to real life Anne Boleyn.

Jane Seymour: I agree with @2009jorose in casting Odette.

Anne of Cleves: I am aware my dear friend said Anastasia Tramaine, but in doing my research Anne is a brunette. So with Drizella has a nearly identical face to Anastasia, brunette and an also underused character with plenty of screentime, in my hypothetical video she would work.

Kathryn Howard: I would pick Vanessa, yet technically for body shots that could be not too in the face Ariel as @sailorzelda94 suggested. Bonus Melody I could use for younger alluded scenes in Kathryn Howard’s song. I realized I completely forgot to change Vanessa her to auburn.

Catherine Parr: Belle is a great fit so I agree with both @sailorzelda94 and @2009jorose .

14 notes · View notes

bizarrequazar · 10 months ago

Text

GJ and ZZH Updates — March 3-9

previous week || all posts || following week

This is part of a weekly series collecting updates from and relating to Gong Jun and Zhang Zhehan.

This post is not wholly comprehensive and is intended as an overview, links provided lead to further details. Dates are in accordance with China Standard Time, the organization is chronological. My own biases on some things are reflected here. Anything I include that is not concretely known is indicated as such, and you’re welcome to do your own research and draw your own conclusions as you see fit. Please let me know if you have any questions, comments, concerns, or additions. :)

[Glossary of names and terms] [Masterlist of my posts about the situation with Zhang Zhehan]

03-03 → The whaler MistyRose posted a screenshot of account stats that can only be seen by the account holder for the official Ranyi Music YouTube channel (associated with the Zhang Sanjian songs.) This suggests that at the least she has some insider connection with the scam that allowed her to receive the screenshot personally, and it's possible that she's the one running the account herself.

→ 361° posted two photo ads featuring Gong Jun. (1129 kadian)

→ Za posted another teaser photo ad featuring Gong Jun. (1129 kadian)

→ The Instagram posted six photos of "Zhang Zhehan" and "Zhang Mama" and four of an aquarium.

03-04 → Gong Jun posted a commercial for the makeup brand Za, announcing that he is their new global spokesperson. This was reposted by his studio.

→ Za posted five photo ads featuring Gong Jun. [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] (1129 kadian on the first)

→ The Instagram posted a video of the most recent scam concert.

→ Za held a livestream to promote the new endorsement with Gong Jun. During this, a number of people with obviously CPF usernames won several giveaways, and the streamer reportedly said "Oh [you're] also a fan of Zhehan" to one of them. Sources: [1] [2]

→ 361° posted a promotional video featuring Gong Jun. Fan Observation: The video shows him colouring flowers in with red. In the final shot one flower is still left uncoloured, recalling Zhou Zishu's plum blossom mural in Word of Honor.

03-05 → Za posted a promotional video (1129 kadian) and two photo ads [1] [2] featuring Gong Jun.

→ 361° posted three photo ads featuring Gong Jun.

→ Za posted three wallpapers featuring Gong Jun.

03-06 → Gong Jun posted five photos ads of himself for L'Oreal.

→ Za posted a promotional video featuring Gong Jun.

→ Some of the old essays posted by Zhang Sanjian at the very beginning of the scam (early 2022) were reposted, but edited to remove the implications against Gong Jun and CPFs. It's been discussed quite bit by now that trying to appeal to solo fans at the expense of CPFs so early on was the scam's biggest mistake, as it caused CPFs to become sceptical and begin investigations. This is not the first time that the scam has shown signs of wanting to backtrack on that move.

03-07 → The Fox Spirit Matchmaker Weibo posted a promotional image of Gong Jun's character to celebrate the show reaching 4 million viewer reservations. Caption: "Refreshing and clear, with eyebrows like poetry. Dongfang Yuechu @ Gong Jun Simon seems to be the person in the painting."

→ Gong Jun posted a short commercial for Za to his Douyin. Fan Observation: The product is called Magnetic (贴贴, tietie) Powder, the same word fans use for how Gong Jun and Zhang Zhehan would often bump against each other when they were working together. I could be wrong, but I couldn't find any evidence of this product existing prior to Gong Jun's endorsement.

→ Gong Jun's studio posted a little video celebrating Fox Spirit Matchmaker's milestone. Caption: "Pure fire is invincible🔥Candied haws never leaves the hand✌️ #Fox Spirit Matchmaker: Red Moon Chapter has more than 4 million reservations#, @ Gong Jun Simon's new mission props are now distributed!" The same was also posted to the studio's Douyin.

→ Za posted a photo ad featuring Gong Jun.

03-08 → Gong Jun posted four photo ads he did for L'Oreal to his Xiao Hong Shu.

→ GXG posted a photo ad featuring Gong Jun.

→ 361° posted a video voiced by Gong Jun for International Women's Day. (1129 kadian)

→ Za posted a behind the scenes video of their commercial featuring Gong Jun. (1129 kadian)

→ Gong Jun posted four photos of himself. Caption: "Happy holidays! Also share my half-day leisure 😌"

→ Za posted a photo ad featuring Gong Jun.

→ Gong Jun posted a silly video of himself to his Douyin. Caption: "I heard that this is how millions of people move their mirrors 🤳" BGM is What You Won't Do For Love by Bobby Caldwell.

03-09 → The scam announced a short film entitled "August" directed by "Zhang Zhehan", using footage that the scam gang took during the bike trip in August 2022. The intention of this is very obviously to have search results for the film come up with information about 813.

Additional Reading: → N/A

previous week || all posts || following week

#Zhang Zhehan #Gong Jun #Word of Honor #woh cast #lld timeline

16 notes · View notes

bill-needle · 5 months ago

Text

"Hi, I'm Bill Needle, and welcome to"

A combination gif repository / askblog / research centre dedicated to the character of Bill Needle, SCTV's resident critic at large.

Presented in a wrapper of anachronistic epistolary roleplay (Needle somehow has access to the contemporary Internet in the early 80s and is now Melonville's most irritated blogger).

(Psst: I also make gifs and other things that aren't Needle-related @collateral-joy. Check it out if you like Dave Thomas, SCTV, Dave Thomas on SCTV, or having a good time in general)

See below for more information on tags and posts and whatnot.

"Huh? You wanna know more about this place? Well, I can't stop you. Just keep in mind that this is a work in progress."

Tags

Find the Needle Content you crave using the intuitive content tagging system. Posts are tagged (#needle [type of post]). For example, #needle blog will net you all of Needle's personal blog posts. Other terms currently in use are gif, ask, image, edit, video, audio, game, and update.

#purpletext is used for posts that are explicitly "out of character" (or more accurately, in character as a sort of ghost that's haunting Needle's computer - it's complicated).

Posts

As stated at the top, this blog operates in a few different modes.

At the center of it all is my gifmaking practice. I have taken it upon myself to supply the world with the finest Needle gifs. I also take requests, so do send in any specific scenes/themes you'd like me to cover. Please feel free to use the Needle gifs however you see fit - spread 'em far and wide! All I ask is that you let people know where you found 'em.

Next up, the RP element. Through in-character blog posts and answering your asks, together we can get to know Bill Needle and what goes on in his funny little head a bit better. He might come across as aloof and/or abrasive, but trust me, he gets real excited when he sees a message come in.

To round it out, I also may occasionally offer the fruits of my ongoing Needle research. So far, this has taken the form of compilations - see the #needle video tag for the goods. I am something of a Needle Expert, you could say. Let us discuss the finer points of Needle (pun intended) over some piña coladas.

Whatnot

Coming Soon

#pinned needle #needle update #Bill Needle #Dave Thomas #SCTV #shiny new pinned post #for the benefit of newcomers or anyone else who's wondering what exactly it is I do here

7 notes · View notes

plebbypebblepleb · 1 month ago

Text

GUYS GUYS I FOUND MY OLD WRITINF AAGAHABUVSUSVAIAHIHEHIAHSBS LAUGH AT THIS WITH ME

@six-eyed-samurai @redfielddoesthings @b3st-sunday-dr3ss

you have permission to make fun of me :3 you always do what am I saying albsbwi

alright keep in mind, willow looked like this at the time (this was a drawing from like YEARS back guys I promise...)

embarrassing!!!!! anyways, here was her original lore (I have new lore now thank GOD) OH MY FOD IT PASTED LIKE 17 TIMES JABBJSVSJ

(btw this is me editing, I'm just adding my comments guys...)

.."O-oh my god... Are you sure? Run the test again."

"Ma'am this is the 5th test we've run. She is a kitsune. She will stay that way. If you need help coping, I can help you find a physiatrist. I know some very good ones myself."

"I don't believe it. She can't have my genes. She'll suffer that way!!!"

"I'm so sorry ma'am."

Willow

Nickname: pleb

Age at that time: 1

Age now: 1184 (age reveal guys?!)

Species: kitsune

Because of my father, I can read minds and use telekinesis. Anyone who is living in my mind, aka people I draw and make up personalities for, they can become real if I say they can. (OMG I FORGOT ABT THIS AA)

Even though I'm immortal, it's in another sort of way. I am born into other planets each time I die in the last, it could be su!c!d3, it could be natural, it could be fate, it could be murd3r. Whatever it is, I birth on the next planet that the universe puts me.

Now that you know that about me, how about I tell you how my lives are crafted and based off of. (Basically writers note)

Willow's lives are crafted out of songs, most of the time. Maybe off of fake scenarios I think of while going to bed.

Anyways, now that she's stopped. (hey! kys) I have no control of what lives I live and how long they are (actually yeah I can kms, I prefer not to.)If you do not know, kitsunes gain 1 tail every 100 years, therefore I would have 11 tails, soon 12. I understand that after 1000 years, I should become a celestial fox, which would be the most powerful, and ascend to heaven, but I did everything except ascend. I don't know why. (Someone did their research 🤓☝️)

Yes, I'm a celestial fox, except I'm still a kitsune, it's complicated, I don't understand myself, even though it's me.

My birthday is 12/27. (real)

This life is based off of "Magical Doctor" by MARETU⚠️TW for people who want to watch that video for the song or listen to it⚠️The song contains sudden changes in music and lots of flashing lights, it says in the video but, it's still my responsibility to tell you. (IT GIVES THE WARNING AT THE END OF THE VIDEO LIKE WHAT??)

The year is 1200, I skip a few years every time I rebirth.

I wake up, I'm very comfortable in this new bed. About 6 pillows behind my head and a gazillion plushies, silky soft blankets and a canopy over my head, all of this is a creamy pink color, except for the plushies, which are all random animals. (a cutesy run-on) Hm, seems I'm a princess. (YEAH I ALWAYS COME TO CONCLUSIONS THAT QUICKLY MHM)

"Plebby~! Come down honey, it's time for dinner!" I'm guessing that's my mom. "Coming!"

I walk downstairs, this strange feeling of familiarity of this layout seeping through me. (I can tell I wrote that and thought "I'm so poetic...)

"Aww, my sweet daughter" Bingo, my mother. "Do you want the maids to fix up your hair?"

"After breakfast please."

"Understood!"

Waffles covered in powdered sugar with syrup drizzled perfectly on top dripping down the edges. (Fragment 🩷🎀) On top of the stack of about 5 waffles, there are 3 strawberries arranged in a certain way on top. (thanks for specifying willow you're a worse narrator than Ponyboy.) The plate the the side has 3 pieces of perfectly fried bacon.

This is strangely modernized for the year.I'm surprised at how good it is, this is so weird...About 5 minutes later I finished, I went up to my room and the maids got me ready. "Thank you."

"No need to thank us!"

I start walking towards the garden on the marble floor, all while the stained glass windows are projecting different colors onto my face and my vision.

I make it to the garden and I push open the door, I walked up to a bush and I examine all the roses. They all smell like a idealized perfume.

I spot something in the corner of my eye. A mushroom. A perfect one. With it's rounded top and the cream stem, the lines under the rounded top go all around and back to the stem. (another fragment) The imperfect circles are satisfying to look at as the sun glimmers onto the plant, making it seem glittery and shiny. I grab it and I pull it out of the ground, and I spin it around in my hand. I'm not sure what came over me but... I put it in my mouth and I start chewing...EVERYTHING IS RAINBOW. ITS ALL BLENDING TOGETHER... "AAAAAAHHHHH!" I SCREAM. THE MUSHROOM ENTERING MY STOMACH. (PLEASE IF I HAD A PENIS IT WOULD SHRIVEL UP AND RETRACT INTO MY BODY) I think I threw up. And I passed out. I open my eyes, the first thing I see, or I think I see is a picture saying the words "NAMIDA"

"SHE'S AWAKE AGAIN!!"A stampede came rushing towards me. My vision was super blurry and everything seemed rainbow. It all seemed like a dream. Just then, I heard my mom.

"I DON'T KNOW!!! I JUST HEARD A SCREAM AND FOUND HER LIKE THIS!" She sounded like she was crying."I-I"

"Yes honey?!"

"Mushroom..."

"Mushroom?!"

"I ate... Mushroom..."

"SHE ATE A MUSHROOM!!!"

...

"Ah. Can I do a few tests?"

"OF COURSE[,] ANYTHING!!!"And then, I blacked out.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

I shot awake. In a completely different setting, a soft white bed, everything else was glowing white. Is it a hospital? I'm so confused.

"Honey, please, can you swallow these pills?" (girl isn't it 1200 how the hell do you have pills you dumb butt — added later, pills were invented by thjs time, but I was visualizing modern pills. and I know that cause I [somewhat] rmr writing this)

"Mhm.."

Cold water entered my mouth and then 3 pills at once. I shivered, it was such cold water.

"Okay baby, go to sleep..." She ran her fingers through my hair, being gentle to miss the knots to not disturb my sleep. "Shhh... Shhh.." she whispers repeatedly to me, soon enough, it works.

"What do you mean they were the wrong pills. WHAT DO YOU MEAN?! WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?! I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU!!!"

"Ma'am calm down, we can fix her."

"WITH THE WRONG PILLS?"

"It won't happen again."

They gave me the wrong pills. That's ok. That's fine.

[END]

......wow!!! Alright so, what in the world was that!!! 😊

moral of the story I'm never writing again

#I'm not tagging this I don't want anyone to see #as if I didn't @ people at the beginning??? are you joking?

4 notes · View notes

nomsfaultau · 6 months ago

Note

Daily ask №23!

Random/cursed edition!

What if I were to try and tell Fault!Wilbur where babies come from?

So. Phil has said that Tubbo's problem is not having blood in that one famous shitpost which got me into Fault in the first place. So. What if they did have blood though? Like what if some of the wax cells were filled with blood? Just spontaneously. For blood-letting purposes, yk.

I think I saw you mention somewhere that Fault!Tubbo either has or could potentially have memories from different alternative versions of themselves. Explain please?? Also does that mean that they potentially have memories from my personal au where most of my ocs and headcanons live? Btw my first reaction at that thought was "AAHH FUCK NONONONONO BITCH CHEESUS CRUST". It's not that bad though I promise I'd just be embarrassed either way.

What if. What if the Fault crew + the scp researchers got spontaneously teleported into a gacha reaction videos where they had to react to your shitposts, animations and drawings. Also throw a couple of 2018 style gacha vids in there for good measure. (While writing this I checked the lyrics of Devils don't fly and realised that it's actually a pretty serious song. Which like- damn.)

What role would the Fault crew characters get in the soldier poet king test? I do love that test a little too much maybe- here's the link to the quiz! https://uquiz.com/quiz/MYLbZ3/are-you-a-soldier-a-poet-or-a-king

This one has heavy spoilers!

1. Probably depends on how you do it, but I think he’d just take basic notes on sex-ed. Doesn’t have much puritan context of taboo or embarrassment on the subject. Fairly indifferent on the whole sex thing because he doesn’t think it’ll ever come up in his lifestyle of avoiding humans and knowing only 4 people. Probably a little irritated that its theories were so wildly off base, grumble a bit about how its own ideas about making Faustian bargains with dark entities and trading organ: [womb] for power make far more sense but whatever. He thinks pregnancy is stupid because how are you supposed to run like that? And your food is SIPHONED off by the fetus? Why can’t they get their own? And at the end you get a human. Terrible process all around. 3/10 Tommy has less ammunition to tease it now and that’s IT.

2. Probably smell bad. Maybe they could do things like blush? Mosquitoes would go crazy for them. If this is ‘a previously weren’t a blood fruit gusher’ situation, Tubbo would be freaking out about 1. Who the muffin’s blood is this and 2. Starving 2 death babyy. Cause they really need that honey to operate. A bunch of baby larva are going to die even if all the workers can go into overdrive to feed the Hive. I think it would be very funny if Tubbo tried to break into a blood bank to donate it all. Shhh don’t worry about where this blood came from. Or what happened to the security cameras. It’s for a good cause trust trust.

3.Heavy spoilers. The plan was that Tubbo and Wilbur get dunked through the near apocalypse via dissolving of the narrative due to SOMEONE being so depressed it fails to keep the void in check/potentially interpretable as being suicidal, thus exposing the two to pure void madness and realizing everything is a story. Which would entail having some familiarity/confusion about the source material of the dsmp, some vlogs, etc. but not necessarily AUs. But then SOMEONE turned out to be an abusive ass, and that plot point got very icky to me. I’ve been debating it for months, but realized I’m sexy and do what I want so am going to limit it to pure awareness of being a story, but not necessarily a fanfic. Still has the existential crisis of it and the philosophical implications that are going to so beautifully deal with themes of attachments, the purpose of narratives, and parallel whatever the hell trauma Tommy is dealing with during that section. But won’t actually deal with having any true awareness of stuff outside of Fault. Except maybe for realizing “Lawrence killed our muffining husband?!” because that scene was funny as hell to write. I dunno plans change. I’ve tried not to let outside events change my artistic vision, but it’s inevitable.

4.Oh goodness they absolutely despise me for all the jokes about the horrors they’re going through. Probably think they’re being drawn ‘cute’ given they’re probably a lot freakier looking irl, and slightly distressed about being chibis. I think most would even consider it ‘out of character’ given their self perceptions don’t tend to be the most accurate. Current Wilbur is hissing and vehement about being constantly called an it because his character development is very far off from when that happens. Philza is a little disappointed that his bloodthirsty moments gets so much emphasis since he’s so chill 97% of the time. Tommy is absolutely chuffed to bits to realize he’s the main character, though trying to do damage control cause haha I’m fine guys this crazy internet person just made me seem edgy and depressed.

Webb is going to strangle me for the Philza/Webb post tho. And the haha poor alcoholic divorcee doormat jokes. Dr. Blake assumes the blog is an anomaly and starts trying to torture it…?

5. I took the quiz sitting in the heads of all of them.

Tommy: The Poet. “So I wait for you like a lonely house till you will see me again and live in me, till then my windows ache.” “The one who hurt you haunts you. In your nightmares, they say I am disappointed in you” literally happens in Fault. With Philza. “What is a sin? Inevitable” is pretty much something he tells Tubbo word for word. “What is hell anyway? Barren” "how can you love me with all that I've done ?"

The Blade: The Soldier. “if you were to wear a crown it would be covered in blood. The one of the guilty.” “The sword is at your side. It bore your name long before you did.” is rather literal both for his name and The Blood God. “but how can I sleep with the world in my head?" “What is hell anyway? Doubt”

Wilbur: The King. “Despite all your attempts, you have never been a healer. You hurt people and they leave and you are alone in a room full of silence. You sing to try and forget, but it does not work” everything about this. Trying to heal but being made of destruction, his fears of devouring his family, singing, memory loss, everything everything it’s so Wilbur. "come and be human with me" “The one who hurt you haunts you. In your nightmares, they say I love you." <literally Phil’s last words when Wilbur killed him in the Whumptober au. "but how can I sleep with the world in my head?" why it has insomnia.

Philza: The Poet. “There are rules. How many? One, and you will follow it.” For his Collected. “Fear: You did your best and it wasn't enough. You tried and failed and kept trying and it wasn't enough. You had the power to change things and it wasn't enough.” For all his dead children. "you’re trembling, but he reaches over and he touches you, like a prayer for which no words exist" it's him reaching out. I love the reverse imagery with Phil, a god worshiping his mortals “anger is a strength in a world of apathy.” He feels no shame or burden for his anger, knowing well the good it can do. “Who taught you about guilt? The silence”

Tubbo: The King. Absolutely perfect as a foil to The Blade btw. “What is duty? Undeniable” “The throne looks golden, and covered in flowers” “Fear: You did your best and it wasn't enough. You tried and failed and kept trying and it wasn't enough.” Saving people from Philza. “The one who hurt you haunts you. In your nightmares, they say I forgive you” Rosaliiiiiind. “Who taught you about guilt? God”

#wlwdwtys ask #ask #sbi scp au #fault au #technoblade #tommyinnit #philza #tubbo #sbi au #sbi #dsmp #scp philza #scp wilbur #scp technoblade #scp tommyinnit #scp tubbo #fault spoilers #something to nom on

12 notes · View notes

kakarorin · 1 year ago

Text

Defending "The Road to El Dorado" from a couple racist claims, or how I, being so cheeky, like to call it: Covering myself in sugar in order to attract some nasty little bugs🐞

For some reason, 2024 seems to be the year when I can't tolerate "The Road to El Dorado is packed with racism" discourse anymore. A couple days ago, I stumbled across a very colourful gifset which encapsulated perfectly all the objectively wrong arguments (save for half... one... one and a half... It depends) I've ever seen people give out to explain why they don't like the movie (@/neechees: If by some unlikely chance you're reading this, I wish we could have talked about it calmly. I'm a very open-minded person, unlike you seem to be). I've seen them SO many times that I think I hit my limit. Long story short, I got defensive, which I regret, shame on me, told the op they were wrong, as they are, op responded, and I got blocked before I could respond back. I honestly don't know why they blocked me after responding. I don't know if they sensed I know much more about the Aztec Conquest than they do, but well... Occam's razor.

After I calmed down, tried to reach to them because I genuinely wanted to talk about it, and failed, I decided I was going to break their post down as minutely as I could, even if just to get it off my shoulders and toss it into the void, and polished what I told one of the people who reblogged op's post saying they were right into this lengthy post. Purely because I love debating about movies I love. And boy, do I LOVE this movie.

Before starting, I'm letting you know that, as far as I know, I'm 100% white. And I'm also from Spain (Europe. Clarifying this for the Americans), which understandably gives me the advantage of having lived (and living) through the subtle remnants of the wretched Spanish Black Legend. Yet none of these two things stopped me from looking up historical papers, podcasts and documentaries (further than YouTube's video essays, I mean) so I could understand that this sort of... slander was indeed, part of that concept. I don't see how being of a particular race or ethnicity gives you the right to speak about recorded history as objective facts without doing your research and applying your critical thinking to it, either. Does op think that just because they're Native-American, as they say (just in case, can't believe anything you read on the internet these days), a person who has spent hours, days, months educating themselves about Hernán Cortés, poor Malinche and the Aztec Conquest from serious sources can't have more knowledge than them? Smh, op, smh. It does give you right over feelings, and obviously, your own experiences, though. Hope you still understand that factual knowledge is an entirely different thing.

That being said, at the end of the day, save for the very easy-to-check historical facts (which I will provide sources for if asked, although I believe you can very easily research it yourself), this is my opinion about why "The Road to El Dorado" is regarded as much more racist than it actually is. If you want to give me yours or respond to it, please, by all means, do it. Respectfully and with clear and valid reasons, of course. Otherwise, I'll have to ignore you. Understand that what you read below is the limit of my thinking and reading. Enjoy, or hate. Call me a racist. Send a WHITE meme my way. Up to you.

I'd link you to the post, but I don't feel like it. They blocked me, after all. You can search my blog for it. It's tagged as "neechees". And be sure to read their tags on the post as well, for context. Anyway, here go their "objective truths". Debunking time starts... now:

(EDIT: This is filled with edits. See how my opinion can change and I can clarify or rectify? Anyway, stating the obvious, but I believe Spanish colonization is bad. In any part of the world. I won't give you a single good aspect of it, except for that at least it was based on a different mindset than British colonization. Maybe there are fairly good aspects. After all, they say Romans gave us Spaniards roads and sewage systems. We'd have to take a look at an alternative reality where it didn't happen to make an objective claim. But, believe me, if it had been for me, I'd have pushed Cortés off the ship a good bunch of nautical miles before he reached what is now known as Veracruz, whatever good things he ended up doing. Bear that in mind.)

1. The cultures are mashed up in one city, that is true. But there is no explicit racist (implying prejudice, discrimination or antagonism, as I understand racism, or as racism is actually defined) motive behind it. I don't think it's done out of unthoughtfulness, either. I'm pretty sure it's just done to leave the place ambiguous, because (tell you more later), with Cortés involved and what went down with him historically, that place is much more meant to be Tenochtitlán than the legendary city of El Dorado. They didn't want to make that so explicit because this is a retelling, after all (tell you more later). I honestly don't see how anyone could think that the resulting city and culture are portrayed in a negative way. Sometimes, I'm not even sure these people were paying attention when watching the movie (if they ever did). In fact, if it weren't for the title of their post, I wouldn't even understand the point in this.

2. Oh boy, this is exactly what triggered me to say something instead of just putting it on my blog silently. This is how I know the op has ZERO knowledge about the historical event behind it, because they wouldn't say this is right if they did. There is no such thing as a (EDIT:) sufficiently collective "Spanish lie that Native-American (NA) people believed they were gods" (NEVER listen to a Spaniard who claims this. EDIT: Like López de Gómara. They're delulu), this has never had any kind of historical relevance (in the outcome and influence of history, I mean), and the NA people in the movie are not worshipping the white guys because they're white. The whole plot, arriving in a city and being mistaken for a god because your arrival coincided with an ancient premonition in such a precise way that it is fascinating, is exactly what happened to Cortés when he reached the capital of the Aztec Empire, Tenochtitlán. He was believed to be the reincarnation of Quetzalcóatl, and that's why he could enter the city peacefully and live in it for a short amount of time. The concept of the movie seems to be "What if this, instead of happening to a conquistador (in which is implicit the catholic element) who quickly said he was no god when he realised what was happening (because of the sin of idolatry), happened instead to two atheist looters who are ultimately good-hearted (NOT colonizers, because they didn't try to claim the land or control it) who weren't stopped by the fear to sin and took advantage of the situation?" That's it. The premonition happened to fall on a white man hundreds of years ago (who also came from the east, same place Quetzalcóatl left to and said he'd return from) and so does in the movie story because it mirrors real history, and, again, I fail to see the negative portrayal in all of this because it's certainly NOT because they're white. I think the op also took it salty that I said they had zero knowledge about "the very people they're trying to defend", which I still believe, but this is complex and I'll only explain this if asked. What I meant by that, on the surface, is that NA people also enslaved NA people. I seriously hope op doesn't think NA slavery is more acceptable if it comes from other NA people than white people. Who knows, at this point.

3. This is essentially right. It's the only thing I think is mostly right, actually. It's no problem for me, though. I love Chel, she's beautiful and aesthetically pleasing to me. But I can understand why it may put someone off. All good. However, I still wanna say that the Aila test is just a way of assessing indigenous women representation as positive and negative, and not the work in itself as problematic if it doesn't pass it. The Lord of the Rings doesn't pass the Bechdel test and I have never seen anyone calling it problematic because of that, nor do I need positive representation (I'm a woman. Sort of. It fluctuates) on it to enjoy it. Although I figure I'd feel the same if I were NA, I can't and won't speak for one. So I still give you that.

4.1. This is wrong in three ways. First, Tzekel-kan is not "demonized as evil". He is evil. He's not evil because he's NA, he is evil because he killed, he lied, and he abused his power. There are NA people in the movie who are kind and good (everyone but him, I believe), and then there's him. In every race and ethnicity, there are good, neutral and bad people. And people who are sometimes good, and sometimes bad. If all the NA people were painted in a morally white and good way, that special treatment would come off as positive discrimination to me. Why can't he be a sociopathic genocider AND indigenous at the same time without being considered as racist? Does that mean all indigenous people have to be/are morally white? If all the other NA characters were demonized, I'd understand it, but it's the opposite. Also, Tzekel-kan is loosely based off Moctezuma, the (redundant) emperor of an Empire who enslaved other NA people. And, surprise, just like Cortés, I don't think the guy was evil. I think this is probably another reason why they didn't want to make clear the specific culture. I could see the racism if they had tried to directly compare Tzekel-kan with Moctezuma, I would perfectly be able to see the claim that Moctezuma was a sociopathic genocider, and I'd recognise that as racist. But in this case, it's just loose inspiration. Not a parody.

4.2. There was NO genocide in the Spanish NA colonies. There was NO legal slavery, save for a few unfortunate loopholes (tell you more later). (EDIT: careful, I'm NOT defending his monumental fuck-ups or justifying him in any way, just so you know. In my opinion, he was a fair lot more bad than good, but not 100% bad. If you get me) Hernán Cortés did a lot of undeniably wrong things, but he did good things too. I don't think you can say he was a good person, no person who'd say that would be a friend of mine, but I don't think he was a 100% evil person. Just a person, sometimes good and sometimes bad. Still, when he was bad, he was bad. And what op said about that they didn't care enough about him to write his name properly, BOY how that ticked me off. People, for all you hold dear, you have to CARE to know about such important historical figures in order to understand the history behind them and the outcomes of their actions. Especially within such a sensitive topic. It's when stories like this are ignored or forgotten, that history tends to repeat itself. The fact that I care to spell Hernán Cortés well has not the respectful positive connotation they think, either. And despite what you may believe, we Spaniards do NOT think he did everything right and much less that he was a hero. I think some Mexicans think we all do, but I don't know why. Only the most idiotic "fachas" (ultraright people) do.

4.3. One, he was not enslaved (tell you more later). Two, well, since he tried to mass-murder the inhabitants of the city, I... I do reckon putting him away was a good ending. Jesus, he tried to purge the city of citizens HE deemed unworthy in the name of a divine power (=on a religious basis) with the clear intention to wipe them out. It's clearly stated more than once throughout the movie. If you didn't know, by objective definition, the name of that starts with 'G' and ends with 'ENOCIDE'. And when that failed, he actively tried to drive the colonizers to them. Only because of that, he was technically much more of a genocider than the historical Cortés ever was. Are his actions really justified just because he's indigenous? Doesn't he deserve a punishment just because of it? I see "slavery" (if it were. Since enslaving NA in Spanish colonies was illegal at the time, I'd say he was kidnapped, in the strict sense of the word. Bit funny to word it like that) as a punishment more than fitting for his crimes. I think you all should drill this into your head: ANY abusive leader involved in (I can't believe I'm going to say this, but socially unacceptable) murder deserves to be punished in some way independently of his race, ethnicity or religion. This is something I believe firmly, so you have very little room to debate with me on this one. Do try, if you want.

By the way, I LOVE Tzekel-kan to death. Just the way he is. A charismatic, fanatical, sociopathic fictional high priest who tried to cleanse his city in the name of his gods through murder and human sacrifice, a practice that the other NA inhabitants very obviously did NOT enjoy (well, that definitely rings a historical bell). If you hadn't noticed, or perhaps thought it was impossible, let me tell you this: you can actually love evil characters without justifying their actions. It's legal. 100%. Unlike slavery in NA Spanish colonies at the time.

5. I don't see exactly how spirituality is portrayed as evil. More specifically, I don't see how the movie's actual magic is considered Aztec spirituality. Not a fan nor a hater of Hazbin Hotel, but I've seen one of the demon characters around Twitter using literal voodoo in a very unthoughtfully wrong way. That's a big no-no, in my opinion. And I see a clear difference with this because there is nothing in the stone jaguar magic that single-handedly resembles what Aztec religion actually was. I'm not saying this can't be done in a wrong way with indigenous NA spirituality, nor that they didn't take elements from it (they did), I just think that with all the context behind the movie, here it's just magic that serves a plot function. Aesthetic Aztec/Maya patterns appear here and there, arguably because those are the "places" where it's geographically based (and because Tzekel-kan is loosely based off Moctezuma, who was the religious spiritual leader who received the Quetzalcóatl premonition), but at the end of the day, I don't think it's much more than the fantasy you typically find in a kids' movie. No specific religion was portrayed as evil, no specific gods were portrayed as evil, the magic in itself wasn't portrayed as evil. In the movie, it was black magic because Tzekel-kan, who was evil, used it for evil. Who says that a giant stone cat can ONLY serve evil purposes? I'd use it for good, personally. Maybe transportation. Maybe architecture. Decoration. Festivities. (CW: 26-year-old making a boomer joke) Maybe to instill cordial fear among my neighbours.

EDIT: I've been thinking about this these days and I realised that in the specific stone jaguar "spell", Tzekel-kan needs to toss his poor aide into the mix for it to "activate". That is much more evil than neutral, so maybe I can kind of see this point now. And human sacrifice was part of some of these religions, after all, so maybe it does point towards Aztec spirituality. Still, as it didn't come off as evil to me until I've THOROUGHLY thought about it, I feel like questioning things. Does the "spell" need a human body, or an animal body would have served? The "recipe" doesn't state anything. It's Tzekel-kan who pushes him in. Do ALL the "spells" need a body to "activate"? Maybe not. I feel like maybe I can give you a part of this argument. But still... Hmm. I don't know. We were stuck with an evil religious high priest, but that doesn't necessarily mean ONLY he could use magic. Nor that ALL the magic was evil. But yeah, alright. I can sort of see this now... a bit.

6. I can give you this... for the most part. Knowing it mirrors history, and that historically, it was white men who rid the NA people enslaved by the Aztec Empire (which I believe is what the people of El Dorado ended up portraying, somehow oppressed by Tzekel-kan's sacrifices) of the Aztec Empire (even if woefully just to take their place), I'm not sure it's so simple. I still don't fully see it as plain white saviour narrative with that background info. In any case, I think my mind can be changed about this with the right argumentation. Surely not by a person who has no knowledge about history. Sorry, op.

7.1. For my next trick, I'll blow your mind: Cortés was no big bad evil genocider. He wasn't a golden-hearted saint or saviour either. Frankly, I believe most people think he was similar to Christopher Columbus (of whom I don't know as much, but sounds pretty 100% evil to me with what I have) by default. I'm also very certain they watched the movie and took that version of him as a faithful representation, but in reality he was very different. He was short, he was slender, he was way more charismatic, way less solemn and serious, and he had the reputation of a womanizer. He committed atrocities, like torturing and murdering the last Huey Tlatoani for rumours (Jesus, the Cholula massacre), but he also treated most indigenous people with respect (when he wasn't pathologically obsessed with gold), he talked with Moctezuma as if he were his kin, he always tried to negotiate before grabbing his arms, he listened to and followed the advice of an indigenous woman (Malinche). And once he had done the deed, his reputation was sunk, he was stripped of most of his titles and compensation for what he had done (karma? Possibly), and he had practically no say in the new territories. He went there for the gold above all, and all the crimes he committed were in its name. But unlike Miguel and Tulio (this is the reason why they're not colonizers, only looters), he ALSO wanted to seize control of the land for the Spanish Empire. As an anti-colonialist Spaniard, I can't help boiling up in anger every time I see someone call Miguel and Tulio colonizers. They are NOT coloziners, just like we are NOT colonizers. Our country was, hundreds of years ago. The people who claimed that land as theirs and believed that gave them the right to exploit it for centuries were. And believe me, if we're still here and have descended from humble families for more than 5 centuries, none of our ancestors saw a single piece of gold.

7.2. This is part of a broader topic but Cortés acted in the name of the Spanish Empire, who, thanks to Queen Isabella the Catholic and the laws she passed, considered NA people as citizens of the Crown and therefore could not be enslaved (legally), not to mention genocided. Physically genocided, I mean, because the cultural genocide is undeniable. And still, while so many parts of so many different cultures disappeared, some things like the Maya and Nahua languages were kept. Even if little, that means something. I find some comfort in that, especially when you take a look at what happened to indigenous people in British colonies. In relation to this, there's this something that's been haunting Spain since a thousand years ago that gains relevance when talking about this, called the Spanish Black Legend. Basically anti-Spain propaganda coming from other European countries demonizing everything the country had done/does. It started out of rivalry and envy. Nowadays, it's hard to say. This is why Hernán Cortés is always seen as an evil genocider, but not other colonizers like Julius Caesar from the Roman Empire. It also makes my blood curdle because it sticks with us in the most annoying ways possible. While American people tend to think Spain is part of Latin America, European people tend to think we're dumb, don't know other languages apart from Spanish and only like partying, and our collective international sentiment, especially facing other Europeans, is often shame. Ashamed to say you're from Spain, because there's only so many "España mucho fiesta and siesta" a sane person can take from people who only come to your country to raise the living costs, drink, sunbathe and throw themselves off balconies to jump in hotel pools. Look "balconing" up. God I HATE British people. In any case, to wrap this up, this Black Legend is also why everyone believes the Spanish colonization was the same as the British colonization. By norm, the British predated, but the Spanish generated (in America, because the Spanish DID enslave African people), despite all the horrible things it did. Because it did them.

Lastly, and just because it was also part of op's response, I want to say that I have no opinion about what negative impact this movie could have in terms of being a version of the Colombian legend of El Dorado. I don't know anything about that. I don't understand it, either. If someone wants to explain to me in which specific ways making a movie like this about it could be harmful to anyone (not the legend in itself, I think you can see I know as much), please tell me so I can think critically about it and contrast it. But please, specify the harm and consequences so I can understand them.

Jesus, I'm tired, but I want to say you CAN dislike the movie. I don't give two floating specks of dust whether you do or don't. What I do care about is that most arguments people use to say so are wrong, or rather, lack historical knowledge to support them. Or rather, there is historical knowledge which flat-out cancels them out. There IS negative portrayal on the basis of unthoughtfulness (like Chel and the Aila test), but NEVER in a mean way. On the whole, it's not the unsalvageable blatantly racist skeleton that has to be kept in the closet under lock and key that some people think it is. And, by the way, I'm very curious about why I have yet to see the same discourse about Inca portrayal in "The Emperor's New Groove". Feel free to toss it my way in case it exists and it's just I haven't seen it yet.

If you've reached this point, congratulations. Here's a disturbing little fact about me as a reward: this whole fixation that I have started because in 2020 I had a dream about this Hernán Cortés and Tzekel-kan having sex.

#the road to el dorado #dreamworks #el dorado #racism #chel #tzekel kan #tzekel-kan #miguel and tulio #hernán cortés #neechees #tagging you as well in hopes to reach you. kinda growing fond of you #you go after my little meow meow who did nothing wrong #viva españa hostia #viva vigo. cagon tal #franco franco que tiene el culo blanco

27 notes · View notes