#I could do research and video editing. please

[folksy]

I went to school for media (I originally intended to study journalism but changed it to media as I became more interested in video production) and then added a folklore major bc it interested me.. really wish I did shit like computer science or business and could have gotten a good job after school lol like I knew the job prospects for a media degree weren’t the greatest but it’s like we are so surrounded by different forms of media. yet it is so hard for me to try to get a career in media where I live. I am too scared to move though because it is so hard for me to make friendships and the media industry relies so much on connections. which again are so hard for me I hate networking

[mpchev]

Dissertation on Fanfiction Bookbinding — Looking for participants! [EDIT: Thank you so much, participants found!!!]

[Edit continued: I'm still sorting through emails and setting up meetings, will reply to everyone very soon, I can't even begin to thank everyone enough for the visibility that's been given to this 💜 I'll keep the updates coming as I work on the dissertation (and learn how to bookbind), in case anyone would like to follow along. For any questions about the research or comments/suggestions/resources about ficbinding, my asks are wide open. Thank you thank you thank you!!!]

Hi! My name is Marie Chevrier, I’m currently doing my postgraduate dissertation on fanfiction bookbinding, and I’m looking for people to talk to about it!

If you’ve ever taken a fanfic from somewhere online and turned it into a physical copy, either for yourself or as a gift, I’d love to know more. From printer paper stapled together to typesetting and painted edges, nothing is too simple or too complex — I’m interested in the whole process, what motivates readers or authors to bring the story to a different format, and how it’s one more way to interact with stories actively and creatively. This will be the final project of my MLitt in Folklore and Ethnology with the Elphinstone Institute (University of Aberdeen, Scotland).

What to Expect

To participate, you must be 18 or older and speak English. I’ll give you more details and answer any questions you might have via email, and will then set up individual video calls with participants (if you happen to be in North-East Scotland, we could also meet at an agreed public location). I’ll tell you more about the dissertation and explain how what you share will be used, which depends entirely on what you agree to, including if you would prefer your contribution to be credited or anonymised. I will ask you about your experience with fanfiction bookbinding and if you have some examples to show me, I would love to see them! Meetings will last approximately 45–90 minutes and take place in June 2024. You have the right to withdraw your participation at any time.

Contact Information

If you’d like to participate or have any questions, please send me an email at m.chevrier.23@abdn.ac.uk

To know more about the Elphinstone Institute, please visit https://www.abdn.ac.uk/elphinstone/

To know more about me, here's an intro post for you.

If for any reason you don’t wish to participate but still have comments/suggestions/resources/musings you’d like to send my way, please do!

[butchpeace]

Pelvic Floor Health for Detrans Women

A disclaimer before we start: I am not a doctor, a PT, or an expert of any kind, I just noticed there was a lack of information about pelvic floor health in the detrans (and trans) communities and I wanted to compile the information that I’ve gained. If there are any issues or you have any wisdom to share, please DM me! I plan to add to this post and edit it over time as I learn more.

95% of females who have been on testosterone report pelvic health issues, which can include urinary leakage or retention, bladder pain, difficulty emptying the bladder, general pelvic pain, pain with sex, vaginal dryness, vaginal atrophy, vaginismus, anal issues, and more. (Source)

Here’s a discussion with a pelvic floor expert on the issues faced by females who have been on testosterone.

If you’ve experienced any of these problems, you’re not alone, and there are things you can do!

Vaginal Atrophy

The vast majority of detransitioning women (and females who are transitioning) have vaginal atrophy, which is a thinning and weakening of the tissues that line the vaginal wall. Atrophy can lead to pain during sex, or with regular movement, bleeding due to small tears in the vaginal lining, narrowing of the vaginal canal, urinary issues, and more.

Because testosterone affects our ovaries, we can think of this issue as something similar to GSM (Genitourinary Syndrome of Menopause). Many of our symptoms mirror what happens to women as they age and their estrogen production decreases.

Treatments for Atrophy

1. Vaginal estrogen comes in the form of creams, suppositories, and insertable rings.

2. Vitamin E suppositories have been found to be as effective as vaginal estrogen in some studies. (Source)

3. Sea Buckthorn oil capsules have been shown to be effective in vaginal health. (Source)

4. Regular sexual activity can help by filling the vaginal wall tissues with blood, which can help to revitalize those tissues.

There are also many options for dryness, including vaginal moisturizers, aloe, coconut oil, and more. Sometimes the simplest natural options can be the most effective! Always talk to your gynecologist and do your own research on products you’re considering buying and make sure the ingredients are safe. Some people may experience yeast infections and other issues when using certain products.

Vaginal atrophy itself is to blame in many cases for the urinary symptoms that many of us report, and treating the atrophy may be all that’s needed in order to improve the urinary symptoms.

In other cases, we also need to look at overall pelvic floor health. I would argue that taking care of your pelvic floor is essential for any woman at any stage of life, since it can help with so many things!

Pelvic Floor Muscle Issues

Pelvic floor health issues can be divided into 2 types - Hypotonicity and Hypertonicity. Both types can lead to bladder issues, among other things.

Hypotonicity is the classic type many women experience after having children or during menopause. It’s also described as having a weak pelvic floor, and kegels are often the best treatment. The YouTube playlist at the end of this post includes videos for beginner and advanced kegel exercise methods and yoga.

Hypertonicity is the opposite type, where the pelvic muscles are chronically tight. For this, the treatment is to use muscle release methods to relax the pelvic floor. Remember - Relaxed muscles are the best at doing their job.

Anxiety can also be a factor in hypertonicity! If you’re often anxious, get used to checking how that feels in your pelvic floor. Many young women experience bladder leakage or discomfort, feeling like you have to go when you don’t, or pain with sexual activity, due to anxiety which causes overly tight muscles.

You wouldn’t think at first that Hypertonicity could lead to urinary symptoms like leakage, but when your muscles are overly tight, they just don’t work the way they should.

Sitting a lot and generally not getting much exercise also causes muscles in the pelvic floor, hips, and hamstrings to tighten and become shorter, so stretching these areas is very helpful.

And when you have a urinary issue, or you’re dealing with the aftermath of childbirth, surgery, or any other medical trauma to the pelvic floor, there can be a tendency to reflexively tighten your muscles all the time, for fear of what might happen if you don’t. Some people with hypertonicity also experience their symptoms getting worse if they do a lot of kegel exercise. In these situations, kegels can become counterintuitive.

That said, using methods to address both types can be the best option for some people. As long as you listen to your body, keep track of how each method makes you feel, and talk with a doctor or pelvic floor PT if you have serious concerns or don’t understand how to do something, you should be able to figure out something that will help!

Vaginismus is also a very common condition that’s connected to hypertonicity and potential mental causes. You’ll know you have Vaginismus if you’ve always had trouble inserting things into your vagina, or if your partner has had trouble with it. Many women describe it as a sensation of the vagina closing up when faced with something trying to get in. You may find that at certain times or with certain objects, you have no problem, and at other times or with other objects, you do. Stretches and massages for hypertonicity can often help with Vaginismus.

Prolapse is a relatively common issue in women who have had kids and older women in menopause. This can also cause urinary symptoms. The incidence of pelvic floor prolapse in females on testosterone is not known, but due to atrophy weakening the walls of the vagina, it’s possible that testosterone will increase your risk. It’s also more common in people who have had a hysterectomy.

Tools

1. Vaginal dilators can be helpful for people who have trouble with Vaginismus or feel like their vagina is small. These are also helpful for people who have difficulty inserting fingers

2. A pelvic wand or vibrator can help you with massage to loosen muscles, if needed

4. Kegel trainers come in various types and can help you perform kegels more effectively if you know that your issue is hypotoniticy

5. Pessaries can help in cases where atrophy has led to pelvic floor prolapse. Make sure you get diagnosed before using one!

6. Your hands! Don’t underestimate the power of using your hands for external or internal massage

The biggest thing to take away from this post is this - Don’t be afraid of your vagina or pelvic floor! Don’t be afraid to try things that may help you improve whatever issues you’re having.

Your vagina is a normal part of your body, and especially when you’re experiencing issues, that’s when it’s time to really learn about it and understand what’s going on. If you’re anything like me, you’ve gone your whole life being too afraid or too uninformed to do certain things or explore your body in certain ways. We need to reduce the fear, stigma, and awkwardness of vaginal and pelvic floor issues, and the first step is to get to know your body. 💪

Exercises

I’ve put together a playlist of YouTube videos that have helped me in this process, which I will continue to add to. I hope they help you too!

And again, please DM me with any information you think is helpful or stories about what worked for you.

And if you’re a medical professional, I would love for you to review this post and suggest edits or additions.

Please share this with all your friends! My intention is for this to be a community resource we can use to spread awareness✌🏼

[bluefairyhere]

Same time tomorrow?|| Colby Brock scenario

¬Colby meets a girl at a coffee shop.

Pairing->f!reader x f!reader

w.c 1.7k

cw. very fluffy and corny

Almost every morning was the same for you. Get up, take a shower, grab your books and laptop and head to the coffee shop down the street to get productive. For some reason it was easier for you to focus and avoid procrastinating at said coffee shop, which was beautiful.

Vines all over the wall outside, this white, cottage-core-like vibe that you got from all the arrangements inside. The plants, the yellow-ish lighting, the kind old lady bartending--who you always thought was the owner--the bookshelves on two of the walls inside. Everything about this coffee shop was perfect and it screamed inspiration. It was the place you felt the most calm at. Until you saw him for the first time.

His dark hair falling a little on his forehead, his piercing blue eyes, muscular complexion and tattoos. His nose piercing and the chains plus the rings on almost every finger. He was so mysterious and edgy.

You could still remember the first time you saw him walk in. You usually never noticed whoever walked throught the door, but for some reason as soon as the little doorbell rang indicating someone'd come in, you felt an electrifying need to see who it was. And it was him, of course, with his sufficient smirk and careless demeanor. Yet when he ordered his coffee he acted so nice and happy, not edgy and damp. From the very first moment you found him fascinating.

Then the next morning he came back, but unlike the day before he actually stayed to drink his coffee while scrolling on his phone and didn't even notice you were there. Not like you were expecting him to. He was probably taken, or a total player and either way he wouldn't look in your direction. Why would he? you were just a simple literature major trying to get through the weeks without losing your mind. But you had no idea how wrong you were, because Colby had noticed you from the very first day.

He remembered going into the coffee shop Sam had told him about--apparently they made the best coffee of all times at the lowest price ever witnessed for such quality, or so Sam said-- and not being disappointed with what he ordered. But while he was in line to order he'd noticed you from afar, at the back of the whole establishment, focused on your books and laptop. He instantly thought you were the prettiest girl he'd ever seen, and your aura seemed so tender and pure. He knew right away he wanted to get to know you, but how? It's not like he could just casually sit down at the table, introduce himself and ask you out. So the next day, he went to the coffee shop again, and there you were. Same table, same books, same laptop. He went for a week and he started to bring his stuff as well, mostly his laptop to do some editing and research for his videos. Hell week was coming so all the recording was already done, now they just needed to do the editing, and he also found the coffee shop an extremely relaxing and nice place to get stuff done. Plus, when he got tired, he'd look at you for a few seconds and feel recharged again. It was the weirdest thing, he wasn’t one to feel so connected to someone he’d never talked to before.

When you noticed he started sitting in the shop and working as he ate and drank his now usual muffin and what seemed to be plain coffee, you couldn’t help but imagine little scenarios in your head in which you’d go up to him and say anything, or he’d come up to you and…

“Hey.” You looked up, killing your previous train of thought. It was him. A plain black shirt with a XPLORE inscription in white, ripped black jeans with chains, rings on his fingers and his nose piercing practically staring at you.

“Huh?” Is all you could mumble. You did not expect this.

“May I sit here?” He asked with a small smirk, and you nodded.

“I noticed you since the very first time I came into this coffee shop… please let me take you on a date.”

You were about to say something when your phone rang, waking you up. It was a dream, you dosed off on the chair, head on the table. You looked around and he was gone, luckily. You hoped he didn’t see you like that.

And so the days kept going by and you continued to see him at the coffee shop, still daydreaming about who this handsome stranger was and the things you could do together. You were already at peace with the idea of him being nothing but a proximity crush and never really knowing anything about him, not even his name. Until one day he just stopped going. One day passed, then three and before you knew it, it had been a week.

You had no idea why. It’s not like you were super sad, but you missed seeing him around. You thought your proximity crush would die with his absence, but much to your surprise it actually didn't affect the way you were starting to feel about this handsome stranger.

All of a sudden, one day he came back. What you didn't know is that he had come back from recording at another haunted location with Sam and the crew, where he had an epiphany. He needed to talk to you. So that day, when you walked into the coffee shop he was sitting at your usual table, at your exact usual spot of the table too. Why would he do that? Surely he must have noticed you sit there every morning. You looked around, unsure about what to do. You even looked at the bar tender, but all the old lady had to do about it was giggle and shake her head, clearly amused.

You sighed and decided you'd take the table next to that one, so you were walking right past it. You were about to put all your stuff on said table but Colby's raspy voice prevented you from it.

"You don't need to sit there." You stopped on your tracks, not believing what you were hearing. You turned back to him.

"Sorry?" You acknowledging him made Colby feel way less confident, but he didn't show it.

"I'm not new here, I know you usually sit here. I was just wondering if you wouldn't mind... sharing a table with me?"

You looked around, confused. At this time of the day the shop wasn't very concurred with people so there was no need to share a table with a stranger. Even so, you had no idea why you were pushing things since getting to know him was all you wanted to do since you saw him for the first time. "I'm sorry but... why?"

Colby seemed to hesitate, but he had gone through almost every possible outcome of this situation with Sam. He could do this. He had to, it was now or never.

"I just figured it'd be nice. I'm Colby, Colby Brock." He stands up and offers his hand for you to shake. However, youre too stunned to process that. Just what was going on? Was he asking you to sit with him? For real?

"Im y/n, nice to meet you too." You were a little hesitant too, but honestly this was all you dreamt of lately, and it was finally happening. You decided to not overthinking and just sit down, right in front of you.

At first it was a little awkward, neither of you knew what to say.

"So, I've always wondered," Colby broke the silence "what is it you do with so many books every morning? And like you stick post-it's on it and write notes on your laptop... are you like a writer doing research or?"

You giggles a bit.

"Not really, I'm actually a literature major. I come here in the mornings to do my homework and papers and stuff." You said still smiling. "I could show you if you'd like."

"Yea sure, I'd love to see." So you took out your stuff and showed him the goods. You were currently working with two books.

"So what we're doing is making an essay comparing the accuracy of The Song of Achilles with the actual Achilles legend thing, its really interesting because..." And he was actually listening! A couple of hours passed and you learnt a lot about each other. You learnt he's a youtuber, hasn't been in a relationship for a while, likes writing music, is religious, amongst other things. And he learnt even more stuff about you since he couldn't stop asking. He was so obviously very interested. But you both realized it was time to go and continue with the day.

"This has been lovely," you said "but unfortunately if I dont leave now I won't be able to make it to campus on time." You said almost pouting.

"Yea I know, I have a meeting with the crew as well... But before you go," he seemed unsure about whether to say this or not, but after what seemed like a quick internal debate, he decided he'd say it. "I had been wanting to talk to you for weeks, and I'm glad I did. Maybe we could exchange numbers, if that's something you'd like to do?"

You felt your cheeks instantly redden. You were so sure this was going to be a one time thing, but you were so glad he was asking because you wanted this to happen again. And again. And again. You nodded.

"Of course." You offered him your phone so he'd type your number. After he was done you dialed his phone. "All done, have a good day." And you left. When you reached the door you looked back, and there he was, starting at you with that cute, satisfied smile of his. You waved and smile and he did so back. Then you left, and before you got to the bus stop you got a text message.

Same time tomorrow?

[esquilone]

What I would say/i guess about women who are attracted to Micah Bell and Javier Escuella:

(I fit into this group of women) (˙༥˙(👈

❤︎ Javier and Micah are the characters I'm most focused on in the game and in the fandom, but I intend to talk about other members of the gang if anyone wants me to.

❤︎ Note: the images aren't mine, they're from Pinterest, I just edited them and changed details and made a cover for this post! :p

𝓜𝓲𝓬𝓪𝓱 𝓑𝓮𝓵𝓵 -

In my view if a someone feels attracted to Micah Bell, I’d say she has a thing for chaotic, unpredictable, and somewhat dangerous men. Micah is treacherous, manipulative, and extremely violent, but he also has a twisted charisma and unshakable confidence. This might suggest that she’s drawn to unapologetic rude man’s (bad boys? No…I don't think that's the right term for him, I'll explain later) who exude self-assurance and an “I do whatever I want, no one can stop me” attitude. Fascination with danger, being ordered around and “threatened”, something almost sadistic...the desire to possess or be taken by something/someone in which the relationship would be seen as forbidden or absurdly impossible, especially if the couple don't resemble each other in the slightest.

If I were to analyze their types:

I did some research with AI, psychology videos and voices in my head (lol-), so I came to the conclusion, almost certainly because I'm not a health expert, but I believe the conclusion corresponds to my summarized research:

❤︎ One of the most evident reasons or possibilities, repeating once again: questionable charisma and danger. Micah has a charismatic nature, with a strong presence, confidence, boldness, and a sense of security. He attracts many people, even those who question his morality. A visible aura of conscious danger can be thrilling, especially for those who are drawn to dominant and unpredictable personalities, as he always appears unfazed and unintimidated by others. It’s no coincidence that he didn’t panic when he was shot by Dutch or when he repeatedly clashed head-on with Arthur.

Many people are fascinated by charismatic villains, and Micah, with his rustic style and confident attitude, can be captivating. Additionally, some people are attracted to troubled men, believing they can change them, feeling drawn to problematic individuals because they think they can “fix” or “save” them, romanticizing the idea that he could be different with the right love. I believe this could happen, but it would depend a lot on his own effort. Normally, people don’t change completely because of the environment in which they grew up and learned—both childhood and adolescence play a huge role in shaping an individual. The way someone is raised (whether well or poorly) MOLDS who they become and how they act.

Example: extremely strict, conservative people, and in many cases, Christians—mostly Protestants—often learn from their families certain prejudiced expressions and statements that were justified as biblical in many cases, even though not all of them were concrete. Some were used to “cover up” acts and speeches against these groups of people. That being said, I can say that Micah is somewhat of a patriot, even if he isn’t particularly religious. The way he was raised by his father, possibly even being distant from his own mother, made him completely closed off, locked inside his own world of justice and reason. He is an adult and knows how to make choices, he knows what is right and wrong—even if his sense of morality is distorted due to the way he was raised and taught by his father. If I’m not mistaken, Micah is the youngest son, and maybe that’s why he kept doing what his father did—perhaps in an attempt to please him, to be greater than him, or maybe just to avoid forgetting someone he barely remembers

JUNGIAN SHADOW: The Repressed Side of the Psyche

❤︎ Carl Jung, a psychiatrist and psychotherapist born in Switzerland, conducted research and described a “shadow” as an unconscious and repressed part of a person’s personality, where traits, desires, and impulses that do not fit into the conscious or socially acceptable identity (the one that divides a person in terms of moral good and evil) are stored. The shadow can contain both negative aspects, such as aggressiveness and selfishness, as well as repressed qualities, such as boldness and a desire for freedom. Carl began developing the concept of the Shadow around the 1910s. Micah Bell presents himself as an individual who does not care about social and moral norms. He is treacherous, grumpy, mocking, and opportunistic, but also extremely free, proudly self-confident, and fearless. For some people, especially those who repress certain desires or more primitive impulses, he can become an irresistible symbol. Perhaps they project onto him what they secretly wish to be or experience—whether it be the feeling of power, strength, lack of restraints, or the freedom to act without guilt. The attraction to someone like Micah may stem from an unconscious identification with this shadow, as he embodies aspects of the psyche that some would like to express but cannot due to societal norms or their own self-control.

Attraction to the Feeling of Power and Domination, to the Alpha Male

❤︎ The idea of the “alpha male,” which is a bit of a cliché term—I don’t know—is deeply rooted in biological and social instincts. For much of human history, survival depended on strength, dominance, and the ability of men to lead in tribal societies. Although social dynamics today are more complex, the attraction to traits associated with power and leadership remains strong in many people.

Micah have exudes this brutal survivor energy. He fears no one, manipulates to get what he wants, and always maintains control over situations. Even though he is despicable, he is a strategist and survives in a world where the weak are discarded. For some people, this behavior conveys strength and raw masculinity—something that can trigger an unconscious attraction, especially in those who value security, protection, or dominant leadership. Another psychological factor is that some people are drawn to danger and unpredictability. Someone like Micah will never be boring; he will always be a challenge, mainly because his actions are unpredictable. For some people with a more submissive personality or who seek dominant figures—someone who gives them the feeling of “he is in control, I don’t need to ask, he takes care of it”—he may seem magnetic, even with his cruel behavior.

( - ❤︎ - )

𝓙𝓪𝓿𝓲𝓮𝓻 𝓔𝓼𝓬𝓾𝓮𝓵𝓵𝓪 -

Now, if a woman likes Javier Escuella, the story is quite different…. Javier is a loyal man (at least to some extent), passionate about life, music, and camaraderie. He has a Latin charm, a romantic side deep down, and gives off an energy of a “seductive outlaw.” This could indicate that she’s attracted to men with an exotic touch, who mix charisma with passion and emotional intensity. Maybe she’s drawn to adventurers—rebels who still hold onto some sense of honor—someone who can be dangerous but also has principles.

❤︎ A woman who likes Javier Escuella prefers a more romantic rebel—someone who can be dangerous but still carries passion and loyalty (to his own interests). It’s more about intensity and adventure rather than pure self-destruction. In fact, it's said both in the game and on websites and books that Javier fled Mexico fearing for the lives of the people he loved, not for his own skin. He killed a man of power because he was in love with a woman who was married to this man of "power". But I don't remember if this question of being in love is one hundred percent affirmative, I didn't smoke anything while I was playing and I think he says it like this….look:

I firmly believe that Javier is not a fool, he wouldn't kill someone for no apparent reason, not even in the heat of the moment, in that scene of the separation of the gang he shows himself confused and analytical about everything that happened in the gang, so much so that I believe that he thinks he and Bill decided to leave, I didn't see Javier or Bill in the scene where Arthur climbs the stone hills, I only remember Micah, Dutch and those other two men that Micah took to the gang. So in my opinion the military man or man of power that Javier killed for the woman he loved, possibly did something against the workers or even to her, if he was going to stay with her he would have known exactly how to escape even if it was risky, maybe this man would have discovered the betrayal and killed her or beat her, or something worse... Mexico at that time was known as a violent place, where the minority that suffered the most were women.

If I were to analyze their types:

I don't think Javier needs that much analysis for someone to like him, he doesn't have any kind of Red flag 🚩, so let's say....right right, I did some research and one of the traits that is most included in attractiveness would be personality and Identification. Javier is a loyal, charismatic, and enigmatic member. His blend of honor and pragmatism can attract people who seek trustworthy and loyal figures but also have an independent and rebellious side that refuses to be stepped on.

Personality Theory (Big Five) and Connection to Attachment Theory:

According to attachment theory, many people seek partners who offer a secure attachment—someone who is present but not overly controlling. Javier represents this balance, as he appears committed and protective without being suffocating. He cares about those he loves, but does not deprive them of their freedom. According to this theory, people with high agreeableness may feel drawn to his loyalty and sense of brotherhood. Meanwhile, those with greater openness to experience (similar to him) might relate to his free-spirited nature.

❤︎ Agreeableness - is a personality trait that refers to the tendency to be cooperative and compassionate rather than suspicious or antagonistic. Individuals with high agreeableness are generally more respectful, friendly, generous, helpful, and committed

The Instinct of Care, the Fantasy of the Protective Partner, and the Need for Security and Protection:

Many women (and not just women, even some small groups of men) feel attracted to men who give off a sense of security, not just physically but also emotionally. And Javier shows unwavering loyalty to his group and his companions, which can be seen as a sign of reliability and stability. He’s someone who doesn’t abandon those he cares about, but for him, loyalty is the trunk of the tree of morality, which can create a feeling of comfort and protection—something that is exceptionally sought after and desired among women.

Javier can also be seen as the archetype of the “protective partner,” someone who defends those he loves and is willing to fight for them. This trait—once again, repeating—can trigger the unconscious desire to be cared for and protected, especially in women who value relationships built on trust and mutual security.

Psychodynamics and Projection:

Carl Jung, who I mentioned earlier at the beginning of the post, would probably say that male figures like Javier can represent—repeating again—the archetype of the “loyal companion,” someone who combines empathy and strength. For some, he might symbolize qualities they wish to express or find in another person. What people seek and value the most are deep emotional connections, so they might find themselves attracted to the way he engages with others. Those who repress desires for adventure, a sense of justice, loyalty, or independence might project that onto him, admiring his free-spirited life since they don’t allow themselves to live that way.

And lastly.....

Attraction to the Exotic and the Mysterious Past:

Javier has a foreign background—he’s Mexican—and a past that’s barely explored (which I firmly believe could make up half the story of a full game; he’s so underdeveloped, unfortunately). This can spark interest in people who feel drawn to the curiosity about his past or even to the idea of an outsider. Psychologically, the effect of novelty on something unknown can make that attraction even stronger.

So, I can conclude from these analyses that women/girls who are attracted to both Javier and Micah Bell likely have a fascination with extreme contrasts. On one hand, she values loyalty, protection, and deep emotional connection (Javier fits here); on the other, she feels drawn to danger, unpredictability, and limitless freedom (Micah fits here). This may reflect a duality within herself (which I also feel)—a desire for security and stability, but also a curiosity for controlled chaos and the forbidden thrill in their stark differences.

Maybe you’re someone who seeks different intensities in relationships, who is interested in psychological complexity, and who might have a repressed sense of pride that expresses itself through these opposing attractions or through the actions of the character you feel drawn to. I believe that people in our group take pride in having a partner who matches their “ANIMUS”—a confident partner who is admired or desired for their control over what they do or simply for being great at it. This also helps shape your own image as their partner. Couples where one person is striking make the second partner more interesting, sparking curiosity about “who?” or “how?” the person managed to win and claim them.

CINEMA! I’m going crazy, creating theories and analyses—this is fun and makes me happy! 🚶🏻🤸🏻

[burirammin]

Did I just find a really really good clip of marc with clear visor in slow motion? from a motogp game soundtrack video?? spectacular.

But what really caught my eyes was the fact that he was braking with FOUR fingers and that the video was from 2013, his first year in premier class. That made me paused a bit because he is pretty well-known (to me at least) for using just ONE finger in motogp, an index, just like casey. Here's an example with how vale does it for comparison.

So there I go, to do some research aka. googling session that ends with me having a beef with a six years old video for audio editing mistake so catastrophic it cut off parts of interview that could potentially give me more info... and it loops the same audio part again and again and again. Drives me nuts.

Found the same video on videopass yes yess thank you!!

Anyway! It was a video on braking techniques of different riders (with interviews. from 2018) and marc said that of course he use one finger to brake, has always done that. But he used to use all four fingers to do so when he was riding a 125cc bike and then when he pass to moto2 he start experimenting with his techniques and change from one to the other end of the two extremes, from four fingers to just one. Said the technique was a crossover from him training a lot on motocross, where he use just one finger to brake. (Not a word for word quote but close enough)

Here's how he brake in 125cc

And here's how he does it in motogp

left : four fingers (2013) right : one finger (2018)

This is interesting, he's still braking with four fingers in 2013 (though I am not sure when the footage was from. It was definitely from before mid june of that year so, at least before Catalunya) Maybe he was still trying out things even in 2013 despite him saying he start to change it all in moto2? So i took a closer look at his braking hand during one of his moto2 race and guess what?

He did use four finger still in the footages i found, like this one from Valencia 2012

I also look up those slow motion videos of the 2013 season and he's still using four fingers even in Jerez so that too (gif below).

By my limited research he would have change his technique somewhere between the end of 2013 season to before the start of 2015 season (because otherwise this reddit post would not exist and I reckon he’d not change mid-season, or maybe he would. Might look into it later)

Soooo yeah... this seems to be a case of him riding so much, for so long he FORGOT details about HIS OWN riding techniques. My silly cunty boy. Mister Marc 'I don't read' Marquez, maybe you should read btw it might help with your memory 😭

Note : If anyone have more info, please feel free to add on to the post. I'll eat it all up like cake I promise.

[honeyhotteoks]

do you have any advice on like getting better with writing?

hey! i definitely do!! i’ve talked about this before but i have a lot of new readers, so ill start off by saying i’ve been writing for my entire life, and im 30 so thats a lot of years. if you’re a new writer, trust me i used to be there and good god if you guys could see the stuff i published in old fandoms 💀 really, really bad haha

i only say that because i by no means consider myself a great writer, there are fic writers in this space alone that i’m always so floored by and look up to…. but people have been very kind about my writing style and it’s something that took time to develop it’s not something i just “had”. outside of fic, i was a literature and creative writing major, and got very used to writing and workshopping pieces.

now! onto some actual advice —

1. read a lot and read more, but read stuff you actually like and not stuff you feel pressured to read. i love high brow litfic as much as the next pretentious english major, but i started writing a ton after reading a bunch of kindle unlimited romance because it was fun and it got me inspired

2. watch well written television for dialogue and pacing. people do not talk in proper english, they don’t say things eloquently, and there’s a lot of filler and fluff. that’s good! that’s real, so i love well written tv to show me how it’s done

3. get comfortable writing in weird ways. for years i used to sit down and be like “ah okay so chapter one” and then i was stuck, stalled out, and just felt bad about the process. when i started writing both aurora and tnt, i started in the middle. i had an image of a scene in my mind (for tnt it was actually the claim attempt) and i just wrote it out and then bounced around later

4. outlines are your friend! sometimes i’ll get a random line of dialogue in my head or an image but that doesn’t mean i’m ready to write it. i throw it in one big outline so i don’t lose it.

5. if you’re wanting to write really good smut i have two suggestions but please only do this to your personal comfort level. this is what works for me but do not make yourself uncomfortable— for good smut, i watch porn for reference and for good dirty talk, i listen to nsfw audio. i like to really write the visuals for smut and make it immersive but lol i haven’t experienced everything ive written about and logistics of the body are hard!! i usually find a video or an audio and let that help guide the imagery im writing.

6. be comfortable with the editing process. i know the temptation to post something the minute you finish it is there, but sleep on it. come back and edit it, read the dialogue out loud if you have to. i swear you’ll make the piece better just by leaving it and coming back.

7. don’t be afraid to post. most people are kind, and the worst thing that will happen is you don’t get a lot of notes. that’s okay, it’s a process.

8. research! as i’m writing anything, even a silly little oneshot, im doing research on something. i am hyper aware that im not korean and have never spoken korean or lived in korea, so for my fic i try my hardest to ground elements of that in reality. i truly cannot tell you how many hours ive spent reading like korean case law on revenge porn just for like 3 lines of dialogue. and you don’t have to go that crazy, i’m arguably too intense, but i do think some of that helps the story and the dialogue feel real.

9. describe something real- every place in my writing is based on something real. every apartment, hotel, cafe, venue, etc., they’re all either something i’ve found online or drawn from my life and use that to my advantage. i use apartment listings and save photographs, i do google map walks to see what neighborhoods look like, anything to get the feel of a place or an experience. for the christmas chapters of aurora, i watched hours of gwangju walking tour videos on youtube while i was writing just to understand how to describe their walk in the snow. it really helps me to have a visual that i can put words to.

10. find your weak points and see what other writers do differently. if you want to improve, you should find a small place to start. is it dialogue? overall plot? smut? etc. - i’ll never forget being on a creative writing retreat, and a very important writing professor said to me “everything you write is very pretty but you haven’t said anything. you have to decide to say something.” that feedback hurt, but sent me down a much better writing path when i realized where i was falling short and not challenging myself.

okay i hope some of this was helpful and if it’s a mess im sorry im on mobile. i really just love writing so deeply and will always talk about it, so i hope this was helpful 💗

[phecdasolar]

Friendly reminder that if you see something bad or stressful on the internet you can ignore it. If you see something bad that’s trending you don’t have to click on it.

Your mental health comes first. This is going out specifically and especially to all my fellow hyper-empathetic people out there. If you know that going down a rabbit hole of information on a specific horrible topic is going to make you depressed or feel like crap then you don’t have to interact with that. (Edit: I have been informed that this is called “doomscrolling.” To repeat what I was told: Doomscrolling is not activism. It doesn’t end up helping anybody and it only hurts you.)

In this day and age where we have access to the internet and information about soooooo many different horrible things it can be so easy to get sucked in to all of it. We have wars, we have constant natural disasters (there’s a massive fire close to where I live right now, it’s barely contained, and is rivaling the fire we had a few years ago that destroyed an entire town. It’s terrifying), we have beloved creators being accused and revealed to have done horrible things (the fact that I can say this and multiple names immediately pop into my head sickens me).

The point is, take a break. Get off the internet. Breathe. Go for a walk. Maybe look at videos of cute baby animals, or compilations of “restore your faith in humanity.” Go read a book. Eat something you like. Take a nap. Drink some water. Take a shower. If you’re religious, pray about it. Take care of yourself and don’t allow yourself to drown in the dread.

And for the people who might come at me for this saying “how dare you not care about the problems going on or the pain other people are in!” That’s the problem. It’s not that I don’t care, the problem is that I care too much. Please refer back to the hyper-empathetic part of this message. I am a sympathetic crier. I will allow myself to get so sucked in to an issue and I will end up feeling terrible about it. I won’t want to leave my bed, I feel like crying and throwing up and there is an everlasting pit in my stomach the size of Alaska. I am no help to anyone in a state like that, and neither is anyone else. I will say it again, take care of yourself and your mental health first.

There’s a reason on planes they tell you to put your own oxygen mask on first before helping others.

But that’s not to say you have to ignore it completely! Take a step back, take a break, and then engage when and only when you feel like you’re at the mental/emotional/psychological capacity to do so.

When coming back a tip I have is pick one specific issue, and focus on that. Only one. Don’t overwhelm yourself. If you can, find a friend or someone you know is reliable and levelheaded and talk to them about it. Multiple perspectives can help a lot, plus you feel less alone when tackling a difficult situation.

It’s important when you’re gathering information on the issue that you know your sources are reliable, and you’re doing your own research. “Okay, multiple people on Tumblr are screaming about something but they’re saying different things about what’s going on.” Tumblr is not a reliable or credible source I am sorry besties. We are a bunch of dumpster gremlin raccoons given access to a platform to scream out our personal thoughts and opinions. Please don’t take them as solid immediate truth.

I have more I could say on this probably but it’s 1 am and I am losing my thought coherency. Have a good night/day and take care of yourselves <3

[arebirthingofsorts]

the entirety of buzzfeed unsolved but the stories are in chronological order: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLGGIwil6tMX95BMdYvMY8Co5Y2J8yxpe-

supernatural was very hard to do so under the cut i've added my reasons for some difficult episodes to list! if anyone has qualms with it or if you notice any mistakes in the playlist please let me know!

the london tombs, la llorona, and the voodoo episodes were difficult due to no real timeframe being known for when they began so i based the london tombs off of ryan saying the bridge has been around since ancient rome which is why it's one of the first videos in the playlist. la llorona required me to do my own research which led me to believe the story came about in the 1500s? possibly predating that but the first written versions were apparently from the 1500s. for the voodoo new orleans episode i did some research and based it on when it could have been brought to the area.

for bigfoot, mothman, and the men in black, i listed those based on the first encounters/evidence presented

many of the locations, i listed based on when they closed their operations or the owners passed before becoming noted haunted locations. (winchester house, sorrel-weed, villa montezuma, whaley house, old city jail, pythian castle, vulture mine, waverly hills, bellaire house, eastern state, rolling hills)

other haunted ones are currently still operating so i listed those based on when they first opened or got into the hands of the current owners (viaduct tavern, st. augustine, tombstone, goatman's bridge, the viper room, bobby mackey's, moon river)

dauphine orleans hotel was listed as the date ryan said a license to may bailey was given for the bordello. im very unsure about this one so if anyone has suggestions on how to list this one, please reach out EDIT: decided on 1775 because ryan mentioned that year as the site the hotel is on and i felt more sure about it that choice

farnsworth was listed as the year of the battle of gettysburg due to the house being named after a soldier who died in that battle + notable events happening and around the house

the bermuda triangle was tricky so i listed that as the date the term "bermuda triangle" was first coined EDIT: it's been moved to close to the top of the playlist due to the first alleged reporting of weird bermuda shit being by christopher columbus in 1492. this made more sense to me

colchester and morris-jumel are museums now so those were dated as when they were officially museums

the uss yorktown and the queen mary are listed as when they docked for good.

the alien abductions episode is in the 70s area of the playlist because 2/3 of the stories happened in the 70s.

the date the island of the dolls began is where i based "3 horrifying cases of ghosts and demons" since there are separate episodes for the winchester mansion and the sallie house

i based all the haunted locations on those things because i figured that the ghosties would appear after the notable deaths and wild events instead of listing all of them as when they first opened.

i hope all of this makes sense. enjoy.

[tardigradetv]

(This post is gonna be edited in the future because I haven't finished it yet! I want to add some stuff, but I'm too tired to do it now. Sorry if things are cringe here. Please don't judge!)

Since I got tagged by @thedragonofbadasstemple , I'm gonna share 9 games I got into in 2024! I actually didn't watch many shows/movies last year because that year was a "worker's year", I'd say. I was busy most of the time and when I had free time, I'd rather go outside or do something, like creating or playing games (or studying 🙈) (yes, I think it can be fun studying for a few hours a day 😂). That means I barely had any days I'd just... do nothing. 😭 Yeah, on those few days when I actually just lay in bed, I watched documentaries (and I can't remember titles, so Idk how to share in this case 🤦‍♂️).

Some games are "childhood comebacks". (Games I've known since childhood but lost interest in them and got into them again years later)

I try to be as chronological as possible, but just keep in mind that my memory is such a mess. 😭 So I guess everything worth mentioning was said for now. Let's dive in!

Early beginning of the year:

1 - That's not my neighbor

Last year started with my "Fran Bow comeback". What I mean is that I watch analysis videos and think my part on the whole thing (that doesn't cover how the stuff I do look like, but whatever... I write stuff about it... It's called by that game's name because that game got me into analysis videos about anything regarding gaming or artists' works. So I started looking for other people's thoughts on things, too, instead of only interpreting things on my own) At the same time, I was looking for more games/franchises to think about (and writing analysis). Somehow, I stumbled upon That's Not My Neighbor through YouTube videos on my feed (so yeah... you could say the YouTube algorithm got me into the game lol). The concept/the idea behind the game inspired me to write and do my research on topics relating to the game. What I can say about the gameplay is that it's simple yet effective. It's the ultimate "find the difference" game with an interesting lore behind it. I haven't checked if there came any new updates out regarding gameplay or game modes lately, so it can be that I'm talking crap now. 🤡 Well, let's actually get what I want to tell... To keep it short, the game has a lot of potential, even with its few content gameplay-wise. I imagine that they could add a longer story mode where they provide a better insight into the lore.

Spring 2024:

2 - Needy Streamer Overload

Around the time when it was my old "friend's" birthday, I heard from this game for the first time. It seemed interesting to me, so I looked deeper into it. And no surprise, the game has caught my interest since then. The game's art style inspired me to try new things in my art, and the deeper meaning behind specific features/hints is thought-provoking, exactly what I like. Though I don't relate much to Ame, the protagonist, I really liked how much I could analyze and theorize in her story. So many connections make sense and indirectly told me to do some research about mental health topics I wasn't really educated on. Overall, the iconic character Ame taught me bits of wisdom I carry on my journey of life. Yeah, the game was an experience. My my, I couldn't process my early times of getting into this game back then. 🙈 It was a little bit too much for me at first, but after a few months, I could enjoy the game without any further issues.

3 - My Child: Lebensborn

Summer 2024:

OMG, as a German... 😭 Well, that game hit hard... But I love that there's a game that touches that dark, historical period from an insiders perspective. In times when we fear that history could repeat itself, this game helps reflect the harsh reality some people like to deny.

(Gonna write more about this later)

4 - D4DJ

When I installed the Hypmic ARB in February 2023, I got into rhythm games for the first time. Yes, I've never played any rhythm games before, so Hypmic ARB gets the title "my first rhythm game". Since then, I've started liking rhythm games as a genre. In summer 2024, I spent time with a "friend" (who isn't my friend anymore, sadly), a rhythm game enthusiast, especially when it comes to rhythm games for consoles. When I asked them which mobile rhythm games I could try, they gave me D4DJ as a recommendation. I played it for a few months, but one day... it just didn't work on my phone anymore. I couldn't get through the title, and I couldn't even save my account, which meant I had to say goodbye to the game... Yes, I could've started from the beginning again, but as I've experienced before, most games don't even work on my phone once such issues start to occur (I had this with Project Sekai). But in the end, I don't have anything on my phone anymore that could remind me of my old "friend", so I see it as a plus to some degree... 😭 Now, to my feedback! The game has an innovative system that made my gameplay experience really enjoyable. The different notes while playing a show made me think really quickly how to calculate where I should position my fingers. I also like how the game uses the screen you play on. It's important to have your whole screen in view to know how to hit some notes. (That makes the decorative feature of designing your stage so cool imo). The game also has Touhou songs that I enjoy, so I often played these (along with internet yamero). What I certainly like in the game is that... I could actually feel rewarded for just playing. To be more clear, you can get diamonds (or whatever they're called again, I forgot 😭) by just playing a song for a specific number of times. If my phone just worked... Yeah, but something that really bothered me is that... I easily got overstimulated from playing this game. The game is fun, but it won't once I get overstimulated...

5 - Snake Pass (childhood comeback)

This game is peak childhood! And the soundtrack 😭 I love it so much! I can't think of any other games where you play a snake with a humming bird as a helping companion to explore different areas of an in-game world. Also that you can change the facial expressions of Noodle (the snake) is such a nice detail! I spent hours on this game trying to get the 100%. Yes, the controls are a bit... uh, hard to get used to at first, but once you do, you have lots of fun solving puzzles. Since David Wise is the composer of the soundtrack, you could expect that there are gonna be bangers. (I mean, think of Donkey Kong...) I remember how I used to listen to the soundtrack for HOURS when I first discovered this game years ago! 😭🫶 It's also one of those games where I just enjoy playing without trying so hard to master it immediately. Sometimes, I take a look at all those details I can find... and I love every single one of them. For example, Noodle is a coral snake, an extremely dangerous snake. And as far as I know, coral snake venom contains neurotoxins that can lead to paralysis and death. So I think you can guess why the small crabs you can find in the game flee when they see Noodle... (kinda funny to think about when you compare that to the game's innocent appearance.)

Fall 2024:

6 - Team Fortress 2 (childhood comeback)

It's a classic. I think many people have at least heard of it through memes. I've been into this game since childhood (but other, new interests gained higher priority, so I kinda forgot about this franchise). Back then, I had a proper device to play it, ah... 😭 Well, before my recent computer died, I had the opportunity to play Team Fortress 2 again. What a wonderful experience it was! There's so much about this game that I've forgotten in the time I didn't touch it that it felt like a complete new experience. Oh, and reading all the chapters of the comic again... (including the recently published one) It brought tears into my eyes. Compared to other games of the same genre, TF2 isn't as competitive as some others. I used that as an opportunity to have fun and just enjoy the game! Especially the casual experience can be so chaotically fun, which gives the game its unique charm. I don't think there's any other game that has the same charm as TF2, so if you like ego shooters where you can be goofy and laugh your ass of in voice chats, this one is for you! Besides, the characters are *chef's kiss*, and the game can be counted as a cultural phenomenon. I mean, when voicelines become memes that reach countless people (probably outside the fandom), then this game is an internet milestone.

7 - Sally Face (childhood comeback)

With my old Fran Bow fixation, of course, I'm gonna find this game sooner or later. I can say that I don't regret finding out about this game at all! The art style, animation style, and lore captivated me. And not to forget, the soundtrack... I still listen to sometimes. I first discovered it a few years ago when I wanted to play something different. As you probably know from my introduction, I'm a Nintendo fan who plays mostly their games, but I touch other games from time to time, too. One of the first games I started getting into besides the Nintendo ones was Fran Bow, to be honest. And I mean by "getting into" that I CONSUMED the game's content like crazy.😭 (That's why this game has a connection to some others I've mentioned here). Well, back to Sally Face. Sal Fisher, the protagonist himself, is such an icon. I really grew fond of him from the early beginning. His personality and his background touched my heart, so it was no surprise that I'd feel devastated after finishing the story. What I really appreciate about this game is the atmosphere. Besides the lore (which I was deeply invested in when I first found out about the game), the atmosphere of the game makes you lean back and think about what is happening while you play. You slow down for a moment to investigate a certain spot to find more information. You might put your device beside to take a moment to process what just happened. Truly breathtaking. The further you get in the game, the more you feel like you're losing yourself in the scenario. It's an unforgettable experience with moments that can you almost make you cry. The strange art style highlights this uncomfortable atmosphere even more. After Sally Face has become a significant part of my childhood, I can say that this game touches many topics that are worth discussing. I could endlessly ramble on any character's specific traits, their background, and context to the story (if I actually could share my thoughts properly 🙈). Exploring the depth of this game back then was an important part of "getting used to thinking". And now, having found my way to this game again feels like I time traveled back to the time I was younger, a time when my life looked so different. To look back and say goodbye to those times, I'd imagine visiting my younger self and just telling that boy how grateful I am he kept going. Thanks to my determined younger self, I could grow into the person I am today. May Sally Face stay a wonderful memory...

Winter 2024:

8 - Yume Nikki

The strange game that made me reconsider all my thought patterns and my life in general. I have to admit, strange things always captivate me, so it's no surprise I got into it so quickly. The soundtrack captures the feeling of endless isolation so well... ah, I know that feeling. Listening to it gives me comfort. The reason why I feel like this is... sad. Well, how should I say it? I... grew up in social isolation, you could say... My childhood wasn't the worst... but it is the foundation of a person's personality, so... Oh- that's not the topic I should talk about right now...

9 - Everything (the game)

Somehow, I've never heard of this game before someone mentioned it not so long ago. It's exactly my taste! I'm sad I didn't discover it sooner! Games with great wisdom behind it always have a sweet spot in my heart. It's really interesting how the game is made. Such a simple style with an intense/immersing atmosphere. The soundtrack really makes me forget everything around me (though the animations in this game make me laugh as hell. The first time I saw how the animals "walk" here got me almost falling from my chair.) I personally think that this game challenges your experimental abilities/creativity. The more you use those abilities, the more fun you're going to have playing this game. Everything seems so aimless (pun intended), but this makes the player think about what the game tries to tell you.

(Gonna continue later)

[multiplicity-positivity]

Hey I dunno if you’ve gotten this before but. Do you have anything on autism and DID/OSDD? Specifically resources or accounts and such (since I’ve seen the positivity post)

I struggle with emotional dysregulation, big memory issues (huge chunks of childhood and adolescence missing, forgetting things constantly, dissociating emotions from memories, etc,) frequent daydreaming/spacing out/dissociation, that type of thing (and a bit more that’s a little too complicated to explain in an ask lol)

I’ve always kind of figured it was just part of me being autistic (I’m professionally diagnosed and definitely very autistic regardless lol), but I’ve recently gone down a bit of a rabbit hole relating to plurality and now I’m wondering if it could be a symptom of DID/OSDD instead/as well (I was originally looking at something else and stumbled into the tags somehow. The original thing that led me here was foxes. I think. And then I had a bit of a panic as I realized how some of the symptoms were VERY close to some of my experiences. Especially the memories.) but i also can’t tell if it’s just some sort of brain fog(???? Is that the correct term?) / alexithymia / Unknown Autism Trait 3 that nobody ever talks about and is difficult to find any sort of explanation or resources for. And my brain protested and had the equivalent of being on the verge of a sobbing meltdown or mental overload of some sort when I tried to think about stuff relevant to the topic so I don’t think it’s going to be of much help to me right now.

obviously not asking for diagnosis or to self diagnose at all (since. I understand you cant really do either of those /lh /nm) but I’m curious if any of you know of any resources relating to this specific type of stuff? I feel like I’d go insane trying to find any info on it. (And also I don’t think my brain would want to cooperate if I asked it to because it basically shuts down, gives me a headache, and turns to a pathetic wet sobbing cat whenever I try to think about the possibility so I doubt I’ll be identifying as anything anytime soon but. I want some stuff to think over at least.)

hey, we also are autistic and have dissociative identity disorder. unfortunately, there isn’t really too much research on the overlap between autism and complex dissociative disorder diagnoses at this time, that we know of, but we do think that autistic people may have a higher likelihood of dissociating and developing a cdd than neurotypical people.

we really love mike lloyd’s work at the ctad clinic, and he has an insightful video on the intersection of autism and dissociation here:

here is an open access paper by katherine e. reuben and ayden parish on dissociation as a symptom in autism - it’s an interesting read and wasn’t too difficult for us to parse:

also, here are a couple life experience pieces by folks with both did and autism:

our own autism has contributed to our trauma history in how we were treated, formed attachment, and understood the world as a child. for our own system, our autism and our did are inextricably linked. we are certain that many other autistic systems feel the same.

if exploring this possibility for yourself is causing you great distress, it may be for the best to put this off to the side for now until you have reached a point with more stability or a greater support system in your life. please don’t overwhelm or cause yourself harm by looking into this possibility on your own, if it is unhealthy for you.

if you are in therapy or have a mental health professional in your life who you trust, this would be an excellent thing to bring up to them. though hopefully these resources can help you get started learning about this topic if you have the spoons/ability to do so.

we are no medical expert or research professional, but we are happy to talk more about our personal experience of being both autistic and a did system if anyone would be interested. best of luck to you, anon, with figuring this out. we know how confusing and challenging it can be!

[scorched-cipher]

Okay, my brief exploration of various editing apps has proved more difficult than I thought it would be. CapCut was truly an excellent app that was useful for my studies and I cannot find anything free to the same caliber as it.

Video Star… eugh. I could not for the life of me figure out how to connect two videos side by side in it. (I don’t know the word for it… merge two videos into one long one?) It restricts you to choosing one video, then you can place clips inside of said video. However, you cannot exceed the timing of the initial video you selected, so you can only splice videos within each other. Which is Not Good, considering that’s what I have to do for most of my classes. (If any video star editors know what I’m talking about and know how to do this within the app, please let me know. I could have missed something)

Alight Motion is a great app at first glance. I was able to merge two videos into one seamlessly and even add effects if needed. However, I’m a stingy fuck and won’t pay premium, so I’m stuck with a giant watermark that is Not Professional for my academic endeavors.

I will resume my research at another point. I have a few more apps to try. But yeah, this whole CapCut situation is not very good for students and will affect our (or at least my) ability to produce the work needed for classes, amongst other things

[pixie-skull]

My 278th edit and a huge thank you to @2009jorose for the suggestion and motivation too. =D I do attribute this edit to my friend @sailorzelda94 and I miss this friend so much. As well in tribute to @0chaotic-queer0 and @geebs96 . However I did take a few of casting ideas (as shown in first picture) and my own casting. I for whatever reason have a 10 photo limit, so please excuse my inability to post my typical “in the making” references. I am curious though who did I cast you agree with, disagree, and more (like asking what inspired outfits, which yes I attempted to recreate some famous portraits, or at least foreground characters). :D As well thank you @airasora for the background character I used her outfit in this edit too from Cinderella 2.

Henry VII: I casted Vladimir as similar body type, an underused character, if I could make videos, he has good scenes from the movie Anastasia.

Catherine of Aragon: I casted Cinderella as again reasons of @sailorzelda94 and bonus plenty of scenes over Cinderella trilogy.

Anne Boleyn: I know @2009jorose played with the idea of Meg, but I understand such limited screen time is that, limited in Hercules. That being said Meg I enjoyed the idea as Anne Boleyn. I suppose Marina from Dreamworks Sinbad could work, yet Meg looks closer to real life Anne Boleyn.

Jane Seymour: I agree with @2009jorose in casting Odette.

Anne of Cleves: I am aware my dear friend said Anastasia Tramaine, but in doing my research Anne is a brunette. So with Drizella has a nearly identical face to Anastasia, brunette and an also underused character with plenty of screentime, in my hypothetical video she would work.

Kathryn Howard: I would pick Vanessa, yet technically for body shots that could be not too in the face Ariel as @sailorzelda94 suggested. Bonus Melody I could use for younger alluded scenes in Kathryn Howard’s song. I realized I completely forgot to change Vanessa her to auburn.

Catherine Parr: Belle is a great fit so I agree with both @sailorzelda94 and @2009jorose .

[bizarrequazar]

GJ and ZZH Updates — March 3-9

previous week || all posts || following week

This is part of a weekly series collecting updates from and relating to Gong Jun and Zhang Zhehan.

This post is not wholly comprehensive and is intended as an overview, links provided lead to further details. Dates are in accordance with China Standard Time, the organization is chronological. My own biases on some things are reflected here. Anything I include that is not concretely known is indicated as such, and you’re welcome to do your own research and draw your own conclusions as you see fit. Please let me know if you have any questions, comments, concerns, or additions. :)

[Glossary of names and terms] [Masterlist of my posts about the situation with Zhang Zhehan]

03-03 → The whaler MistyRose posted a screenshot of account stats that can only be seen by the account holder for the official Ranyi Music YouTube channel (associated with the Zhang Sanjian songs.) This suggests that at the least she has some insider connection with the scam that allowed her to receive the screenshot personally, and it's possible that she's the one running the account herself.

→ 361° posted two photo ads featuring Gong Jun. (1129 kadian)

→ Za posted another teaser photo ad featuring Gong Jun. (1129 kadian)

→ The Instagram posted six photos of "Zhang Zhehan" and "Zhang Mama" and four of an aquarium.

03-04 → Gong Jun posted a commercial for the makeup brand Za, announcing that he is their new global spokesperson. This was reposted by his studio.

→ Za posted five photo ads featuring Gong Jun. [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] (1129 kadian on the first)

→ The Instagram posted a video of the most recent scam concert.

→ Za held a livestream to promote the new endorsement with Gong Jun. During this, a number of people with obviously CPF usernames won several giveaways, and the streamer reportedly said "Oh [you're] also a fan of Zhehan" to one of them. Sources: [1] [2]

→ 361° posted a promotional video featuring Gong Jun. Fan Observation: The video shows him colouring flowers in with red. In the final shot one flower is still left uncoloured, recalling Zhou Zishu's plum blossom mural in Word of Honor.

03-05 → Za posted a promotional video (1129 kadian) and two photo ads [1] [2] featuring Gong Jun.

→ 361° posted three photo ads featuring Gong Jun.

→ Za posted three wallpapers featuring Gong Jun.

03-06 → Gong Jun posted five photos ads of himself for L'Oreal.

→ Za posted a promotional video featuring Gong Jun.

→ Some of the old essays posted by Zhang Sanjian at the very beginning of the scam (early 2022) were reposted, but edited to remove the implications against Gong Jun and CPFs. It's been discussed quite bit by now that trying to appeal to solo fans at the expense of CPFs so early on was the scam's biggest mistake, as it caused CPFs to become sceptical and begin investigations. This is not the first time that the scam has shown signs of wanting to backtrack on that move.

03-07 → The Fox Spirit Matchmaker Weibo posted a promotional image of Gong Jun's character to celebrate the show reaching 4 million viewer reservations. Caption: "Refreshing and clear, with eyebrows like poetry. Dongfang Yuechu @ Gong Jun Simon seems to be the person in the painting."

→ Gong Jun posted a short commercial for Za to his Douyin. Fan Observation: The product is called Magnetic (贴贴, tietie) Powder, the same word fans use for how Gong Jun and Zhang Zhehan would often bump against each other when they were working together. I could be wrong, but I couldn't find any evidence of this product existing prior to Gong Jun's endorsement.

→ Gong Jun's studio posted a little video celebrating Fox Spirit Matchmaker's milestone. Caption: "Pure fire is invincible🔥Candied haws never leaves the hand✌️ #Fox Spirit Matchmaker: Red Moon Chapter has more than 4 million reservations#, @ Gong Jun Simon's new mission props are now distributed!" The same was also posted to the studio's Douyin.

→ Za posted a photo ad featuring Gong Jun.

03-08 → Gong Jun posted four photo ads he did for L'Oreal to his Xiao Hong Shu.

→ GXG posted a photo ad featuring Gong Jun.

→ 361° posted a video voiced by Gong Jun for International Women's Day. (1129 kadian)

→ Za posted a behind the scenes video of their commercial featuring Gong Jun. (1129 kadian)

→ Gong Jun posted four photos of himself. Caption: "Happy holidays! Also share my half-day leisure 😌"

→ Za posted a photo ad featuring Gong Jun.

→ Gong Jun posted a silly video of himself to his Douyin. Caption: "I heard that this is how millions of people move their mirrors 🤳" BGM is What You Won't Do For Love by Bobby Caldwell.

03-09 → The scam announced a short film entitled "August" directed by "Zhang Zhehan", using footage that the scam gang took during the bike trip in August 2022. The intention of this is very obviously to have search results for the film come up with information about 813.

Additional Reading: → N/A

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[bill-needle]

"Hi, I'm Bill Needle, and welcome to"

A combination gif repository / askblog / research centre dedicated to the character of Bill Needle, SCTV's resident critic at large.

Presented in a wrapper of anachronistic epistolary roleplay (Needle somehow has access to the contemporary Internet in the early 80s and is now Melonville's most irritated blogger).

(Psst: I also make gifs and other things that aren't Needle-related @collateral-joy. Check it out if you like Dave Thomas, SCTV, Dave Thomas on SCTV, or having a good time in general)

See below for more information on tags and posts and whatnot.

"Huh? You wanna know more about this place? Well, I can't stop you. Just keep in mind that this is a work in progress."

Tags

Find the Needle Content you crave using the intuitive content tagging system. Posts are tagged (#needle [type of post]). For example, #needle blog will net you all of Needle's personal blog posts. Other terms currently in use are gif, ask, image, edit, video, audio, game, and update.

#purpletext is used for posts that are explicitly "out of character" (or more accurately, in character as a sort of ghost that's haunting Needle's computer - it's complicated).

Posts

As stated at the top, this blog operates in a few different modes.

At the center of it all is my gifmaking practice. I have taken it upon myself to supply the world with the finest Needle gifs. I also take requests, so do send in any specific scenes/themes you'd like me to cover. Please feel free to use the Needle gifs however you see fit - spread 'em far and wide! All I ask is that you let people know where you found 'em.

Next up, the RP element. Through in-character blog posts and answering your asks, together we can get to know Bill Needle and what goes on in his funny little head a bit better. He might come across as aloof and/or abrasive, but trust me, he gets real excited when he sees a message come in.

To round it out, I also may occasionally offer the fruits of my ongoing Needle research. So far, this has taken the form of compilations - see the #needle video tag for the goods. I am something of a Needle Expert, you could say. Let us discuss the finer points of Needle (pun intended) over some piña coladas.

Whatnot

Coming Soon

[mukuchis]

VS AMBIVALENZ 2nd ; EP.2 Kratzspuren of Light FIRST PART [ENG Translation]

video form on youtube | official vsa channel’s video

In order to maintain a fair audition, the VS AMBIVALENZ 2nd Documentary Drama will be published utilizing automatic editing via state-of-the-art AI.  Please understand that there may be cases where the video footage becomes distorted.

Luvnosuke: This is the lesson room…

Luvnosuke: The bedrooms…

Meguru: The bathroom is rather large as well.

Luvnosuke: The laundry room is here too…! 

Luvnosuke: And this is the dining room…

Riam: To think that this kinda place is underground—

Luvnosuke: Amazing! This is the Internat from the Documentary Drama! 

Hiromi: That’s what you’re surprised by, huh?

Luvnosuke: This is that Internat, you know?

Luvnosuke: This is a holy pilgrimage, you know?

Akashi: Holy?

Akashi: Is this a place affiliated with some particular religion?

Shimba: Hahaha! 

Shimba: Do you want someone to snap back to that?

Mikera: The interior design’s been renovated quite a bit.

Luvnosuke: IKR…

Luvnosuke: Even though there was no need to renovate anything.

Luvnosuke: I wanted to take a selfie with the past candidate’s scratched up walls and stained floors… 

Kyouya: I’d rather things be clean…

Luvnosuke: Hah?

Kyouya: !?

Luvnosuke: Kidding, kidding, it’s just a joke♡

Luvnosuke: C’mon, it’s about time we did that.

Riam: That?

Luvnosuke: We’re in the dining room, so it’s that, you know, that!

Cate: Woahh~!

Cate: The kitchen, it’s huge, huuuge!

Luvnosuke: Yes! There, there!

Luvnosuke: I wanna see over there too!

Riam: What’s with this skit?

Akashi: These are the lines Cuc-senpai and Taiyo-senpai said at 1:23 in episode 1 of the VS AMBIVALENZ Documentary Drama.

Meguru: You are quite knowledgeable about this. 

Akashi: I did exhaustive research of all relevant information regarding the audition I was to attend in advance. 

Akashi: This much is simply common sense.

Riam: Huuh?

Mikera: …!

Mikera: Hold up, you definitely went too far there.

Akashi: Huh?

Kyouya: There are some things that you shouldn’t say even if they’re true. 

Kyouya: My big brother told me that.

Mikera: You should know that if you saw the first documentary drama, right?

Mikera: Both the candidates for red and white got into fights because of seemingly innocuous comments like that, so we have to be careful.

Meguru: Hoh…

Meguru: So the documentary drama covered those sorts of contents.

Meguru: That seems rather interesting. 

Riam: *Sigh*…

Riam: Common sense…

Riam: Common sense, huh.

Everyone: !

Riam: Well, guess that’s true too.

Riam: Coming here without doing any research in advance is probably crazy of me, huh…

Everyone: …

Riam: ?

Riam: What?

Mikera: Well…

Mikera: I just didn’t think you’d accept it so readily.

Riam: Huh? Why?

Akashi: You’re more honest than I expected for someone who does hip-hop.

Mikera: Hey, I’m telling you, you really need to filter yourself!

Mikera: Not to mention, you’re being way too prejudiced against hip-hop!

Riam: No, seriously.

Riam: What’s with you, you’ve been naggin’ us since we got here.

Luvnosuke: That’s your fault.

Luvnosuke: You threw all those lyrics into the self-introduction video, of course we’re gonna think you’re a hugely annoying weirdo!

Riam: A weirdo, you say… I could say the same thing about you!

Luvnosuke: Hah? Who are—

Luvnosuke: !

Luvnosuke: I can’t, that’s no good.

Riam: ?

Luvnosuke: The kind and considerate Ainosuke-kyun will teach you all about it.

Luvnosuke: The final audition of Vivalenz is streamed online as a documentary drama.

Luvnosuke: This was kept secret from the participants during S1.

Luvnosuke: However, it’s different for S2.

Riam: What’s different?

Luvnosuke: You’re so slow.

Luvnosuke: We already know that they’re streaming a documentary drama, don’t we?

Riam: HUH!?

Riam: This is being live streamed!?

Meguru: Oho! So we are being streamed right now?

Luvnosuke: Though I guess there’s some people here who didn’t know…

Luvnosuke: Anyways!

Luvnosuke: That is to say that it can’t be made under the same conditions as S1!

Riam: So, why—

Shimba: In the first season, since the candidates didn’t know they were being streamed, Glanz could decide on how to vote after seeing them act without pretense.

Shimba: But…

Mikera: In the second season, given that we already know about this, we can keep showing off only the sides of ourselves that we want people to see.

Kyouya: Um, meaning…

Hiromi: Meaning that we can keep parts of ourselves hidden.

Hiromi: The hidden sides of our personalities that would be inconvenient to reveal in this audition, for example.

Riam: Hidden sides…

Luvnosuke: Well, that’s pretty much it♡

Cate: It’s okay⭐︎

Cate: We can just talk about fun things!

Cate: Cate can do it!

Meguru: Speaking of which, from where to where exactly will we be streamed? 

Akashi: What do you mean… from where to where?

Kyouya: In the bath!?

Kyouya: In the bathroom…!?

Akashi: Using the restroom aside, going into the bath would…

Akashi: Depend on the situation, I suppose.

Luvnosuke: I welcome them recording my bathing with open arms⭐︎

Luvnosuke: It’s all fanservice⭐︎

Inamoto: There is no need to worry.

Cate: HIYEH…!

Kyouya: Since when…

Luvnosuke: Amazing!

Luvnosuke: It’s the Vivalenz classic where Inamoto-san appears out of nowhere!

Luvnosuke: Seeing it happen in the flesh makes me so happy~!

Mikera: Huh.

Mikera: You’re happy about that…?

Inamoto: I’m grateful.

Inamoto: By the way, everyone.

Shimba: ?

Shimba: Why’re you pointing at our feet?

Hiromi: !?

Hiromi: Wh— Are you okay?

Monet: Zz… Zzz…

Hiromi: He’s sleeping…?

Mikera: Huh? Since when?

Mikera: He was awake when we got here, right?

Cate: Poke, poke…

Cate: Heyy, wake up, wake up!

Monet: !

Monet: The documentary drama!

Monet: I watched all of it…

Monet: Zz… Zzz…

Mikera: C’mon…

Mikera: Don’t go back to sleep after you've managed to wake up… 

Mikera: Hey, you over there.

Mikera: Kyouya.

Kyouya: !

Kyouya: Me…!?

Mikera: This guy is your rival for the black position, yeah?

Mikera: Do something about him.

Kyouya: Like what…

Shimba: Alright! Stand up straight!

Shimba: ‘Kay, you take him!

Kyouya: Please walk properly…! 

Hiromi: The scarlet duo are great at managing the situation.

Cate: Riiight~

Cate: Cate is great at chatting!

Hiromi: Hahaha…

Meguru: Hiromi and Cate, you two are emerald, yes?

Meguru: It seems you will get along rather swimmingly.

Hiromi: Umm…

Hiromi: What exactly do you mean by that?

Meguru: I mean exactly that.

Meguru: Do you disagree?

Cate: Nope!

Cate: Cate and Hiromi will totally be great friends!

Cate: Meguru and Akashi, you navys will totally be great friends too!

Akashi: Great friends?

Hiromi: Great friends… Well…

Hiromi: Is that okay?

Cate: Do you not wanna be friends?

Hiromi: It’s not that I don’t want to…

Akashi: It’s okay for us to not get along in the first place, so there’s no need to be friends with anyone.

Akashi: At the end of the day, we’re rivals, after all.

Cate: Oh…

Meguru: Hm, I see.

Meguru: So that’s how my rival plans to approach our situation.

Inamoto: I do apologize.

Inamoto: May I return to the topic at hand?

Hiromi: Oh, I’m sorry.

Hiromi: Please, go ahead.

Inamoto: Thank you very much.

Inamoto: Just a bit ago, you were worrying about what exactly would be streamed in the documentary drama, but please do not worry.

Inamoto: Not all happenings here will be streamed.

Inamoto: Please look here.

Inamoto: This is Cut-kun, a highly efficient editing AI developed by REISEN Productions and Tailwind Office.

Cut-kun: All sensitive material will be cut in a flash!

Cut-kun: I’m Cut-kun!

Cut-kun: The footage will get distorted sometimes!

Cut-kun: At your service!

Inamoto: Thanks to having watched the first season in advance and understanding the nature of these documentary dramas, you candidates might hold back in your behavior.

Inamoto: The solution to that is—

Cate: Cut-kun…?

Inamoto: Correct.

Inamoto: This editing AI, Cut-kun, was trained using the first documentary drama and social media information without sparing any expenses.

Inamoto: That is to say, Cut-kun is a specialized editing AI responsible for properly cutting out sensitive circumstances from the VS AMBIVALENZ Documentary Drama.

Inamoto: The only parts that will be broadcasted will be the information necessary for Glanz to use for their votes.

Mikera: So, you’re saying that we don’t really need to wear a mask and we should just behave like we normally do? 

Inamoto: Precisely that.

Luvnosuke: The heck, I was worried for nothing.

Hiromi: Yeah.

Akashi: Worry?

Akashi: You mean to say that you have some kind of side you don’t want people to see, Ainosuke-san, Hiromi-san?

Hiromi: Huh? No, that’s not…

Luvnosuke: What a nasty way to ask that.

Luvnosuke: I don’t have anything like that.

Akashi: I didn’t mean…

Akashi: I apologize.

Akashi: It seems my wording was improper.

Shimba: Well, I doubt anyone would think to appear double-faced, yeah?

Mikera: Not worrying about it might be the best we can do.

Mikera: Like Inamoto-san said, sensitive things will cut themselves out.

Riam: Well…

Riam: That’s true.

Inamoto: Moving on, this is for you all.

Meguru: ?

Riam: A phone?

Luvnosuke: That’s…!

Inamoto: Your lives as idol trainees will, essentially, be made public through social media posts.

Inamoto: This phone is for that purpose.

Meguru: Only one?

Inamoto: Yes.

Inamoto: You all will share this one phone.

Riam: And what about my phone? The one you took at the entrance. 

Riam: You’re still not gonna give it back?

Luvnosuke: LMAO~! 

Luvnosuke: That’s the stuff you ask when you don’t know anything, huh~?

Riam: HAH?

Luvnosuke: Ah, sorry. Go on, go on.

Inamoto: Allow me to explain.

Inamoto: While you are here, all contact with the outside world apart from your activity on social media is prohibited.

Kyouya: Huh…!

Kyouya: Even calling and texting…!?

Riam: EVEN STICKERS!?

Inamoto: Yes.

Meguru: Hahaha! 

Meguru: Is that not practically imprisonment?

Kyouya: Huh, so the final audition is that kinda thing?

Kyouya: We can’t contact the outside world…

Luvnosuke: Haa~~~ This is the best!♡

Luvnosuke: Even though the people are different, to see this historic back-and-forth in person…

Luvnosuke: I’m sooo glad I joined Vivalenz!

Riam: What are you on about? You’ve been making a racket this whole time.

Luvnosuke: Soz, soz♡

Luvnosuke: As an otaku, I can’t NOT comment on how this is going down.

Luvnosuke: Then after this, wouldn’t it be great if we all get together and decide on chore duties and make pancakes when we’re hungry and trip on the wires and get covered in flour and then have a fight?

Inamoto: That brings back memories.

Inamoto: It happened just as you said.

Riam: Chore duties? Covered in flour?

Meguru: Has it already been set in stone that we will fight as well?

Mikera: What’s it called when that happens, again?

Hiromi: Oh, like when you leave someone you just met behind?

Hiromi: If I’m not wrong, that’s…

Monet: A canon event…!

Monet: ZZzzz……

Mikera: That’s it…!

Hiromi: It’s a little different.

Luvnosuke: Oh! What should we do about the commemorative photo?

Luvnosuke: Y’know! You took one with everyone, right?!

Luvnosuke: Saying Ambivalen—Z!

Inamoto: Before that.

Shimba & Mikera: ?

Inamoto: Would you all gather in the Center Hall once more?

　ーGLITCH

Riam: ?

Riam: What?

Luvnosuke: To think someone like you would be my rival. 

Riam: What’s that mean?

Luvnosuke: Oh, nothing.

　ーGLITCH

Luvnosuke: But I’m glad~

Luvnosuke: My opponent is one of the losers, so I have a huge advantage.

Riam: You…!

Riam: You sure it’s fine to talk about that?

　ーGLITCH

Riam: Isn’t this conversation being streamed?

Luvnosuke: It’s fine.

Luvnosuke: Cut-kun will do something about it, yeah?

　ーGLITCH

Luvnosuke: Ahhh, now that I know stuff is gonna be edited and that my rival is a non-otaku, I feel like I’m the only pick for this~ 

Luvnosuke: The orange position is all mine♡

Riam: …!

　ーGLITCH

Inamoto: Thank you for gathering here once again.

Inamoto: I will now tell you all about a special event we have prepared exclusively for VS AMBIVALENZ 2nd. 

Luvnosuke: An event?

Luvnosuke: There’s something else besides Cut-kun?

Inamoto: There is someone who we would like to introduce to you all.

Shimba: What the, the ceiling…!

Hiromi: It’s lowering…

Cate: There’s someone there…?

Luvnosuke: !

Luvnosuke: The people you want us to meet are…! 

Riam: Seriously…!?

Subaru: It’s nice to meet you.

Subaru: I’m XlamV’s Subaru. I was a candidate in VS AMBIVALENZ 1st.

Taiyo: Heya!

Taiyo: I’m fun4re’s Taiyo, I was also a candidate!

Shimba: Previous candidates, you say?

Mikera: Why are they here?

Subaru: We’re here to serve as mentors for all of you new candidates.

Monet: Mentors…?

Inamoto: Mentors are meant to become role models to guide new talents and young people, play a role in their individual growth, and offer mental support.

Inamoto: The original candidates from the first season have been called here to serve as guides for your way forward. 

Riam: CALLED HERE!?

Riam: Why on earth are you doing whatever—

Luvnosuke: Why on earth would you do such a–

Luvnosuke: Ah, no…

Luvnosuke: What I’m trying to say is…

Luvnosuke: Why on earth are you surprising us like this all of a sudden?

Luvnosuke: Ehehe…

Subaru: We apologize for catching you off guard.

Subaru: We look forward to working with you for this short time.

Taiyo: We’re looking forward to it!

Taiyo: Oh, right!

Taiyo: Futaba asked me to take a picture of you guys!

Subaru: Are you going to take it?

Taiyo: Oh, is that bad?

Inamoto: Leave it to me.

Inamoto: Now then, let’s do it.

Inamoto: VS AMBIVALEN…

Everyone: Z!

　ーGLITCH

Luvnosuke: Why… Why is that person here?

Riam: Why… Why is that guy here?

　ーGLITCH

Luvnosuke: He’s the one…

Riam: That’s the only guy…

　ーGLITCH

Riam & Luvnosuke: I absolutely didn’t want to meet…