#I consider myself as a moderate conservative too

[stalinslastsoldier]

lmao I'm sorry but I'll never understand why people take the Barbie movie so seriously. it's literally a comedy film that was supposed to make you take things lightly, dance, and remember your childhood. periodtt

[kickthecan-revolution]

I’ve had a very odd experience at the airport. I was on the escalator to a train that takes me to my gate and a panicked young woman yells “please let me by I have to run!”. I scooted quickly to the right and could feel her panic. We were on the same train and I could tell she was crying - I asked her if there was anything I could do and she said her grandfather was dying and she barely got on the last flight out to his city, that if she didn’t get on this one, he’d be gone by tomorrow.

I can’t explain it, I felt this rush of…..maternal love, I guess? I took my mask off and said you are absolutely going to make it to the gate on time and you are going to make this flight. It’s all going to be fine. You need to be first to the escalator so when the doors open, run straight to the right and don’t worry about being polite.” I checked on her at her gate and they weren’t going to let her in but between the two of us, we explained what was happening. He was kind (as so many Alaska Airlines employees are) and he made it happen. She got her ticket and I backed away but she turned and gave me the biggest hug, her whole body shaking. I looked at her straight in the eyes and said she needs to drink a lot of water on the plane because she is in shock and likely dehydrated. That I believe she will see him again and he knows how much she loves him, and he’ll carry that with him in his ears, eyes and heart on the Way to whatever is next.” We were both emotional. Wild.

Then at my gate, some drunk dude was screaming at these two older men about the election. apparently it started out as a civil conversation and when he discovered they are moderate Conservatives, He was yelling how he’s a radical Leftist and “isnt it weird how Conservatives have become the scum of the country.” these guys were showing a lot of restraint and being kind - I on the other hand said “well I’m on the Left too and think you need to just shut the fuck up.” He got up and left, and I spent the rest of the time talking to these guys who are going to Alaska about all of the different types of whales they are going to see, so excited for them.

I’m a Karen, I know. I’m so sick of the meanness and the strident, black and white positions and how we reduce each other to objects. We choose that, no politician has made us do that, in my opinion. We’re grown. I’ll admit, I’ve frequently made this choice that it’s ok to not actually see people as human beings because of what they value and how that shows up in their politics. It’s always been here, when the first Black kids went to a white school. Fucking horrifying. Shell shocked 19 year olds coming back from Vietnam getting spit on - fucking horrifying.

Passion only takes me so far. Staring down the barrel of a cancer diagnosis has forced me to appreciate and embrace the duality of ideas, values and feelings in myself. I’m rethinking and being honest about how frequently I ask myself, “what if I’m wrong? What if I don’t have all of the information? Is it really that simple that if someone doesn’t do X then the totality of them means Y?” that makes me a little sick to my stomach to consider. I’m afraid of that question. It’s concerning how quick I was to shut that guy down. He wasn’t human to me in that moment compared to a few minutes earlier where I had an important moment between two humans who had a shared experience of grief.

Is this what this all is? Are we all grieving?

I reblogged something from @hthrrloooo that is profound, how behind kindness can be real destruction. I saw myself in that. I saw people I care about.

Maybe the veil is lifting and being ugly about each other and to each other is the season we need to wake up. Maybe virtuous people are dicks, the saints certainly were, maybe they don’t care about being liked so that coat of performative civility isn’t there and we judge them for it. Mr Theresa had a shit ton of enemies and in the end, not too many friends. Or was she full of shit at times too? Anger and loss are activating agents. Is shame? Maybe, in different parts of the world, Shame vs Honor is a value system continuum much like in the west, Good vs Evil is. It has been for me at times. Where does love come in? Ultimately, I don’t think a lot of people believe in the power of collective love anymore. I think it’s disappeared. Was it ever here? I’m wondering if we know how to talk about what we are afraid of and if we had that capacity, how it might help. Or do I define “love” as being liked and I’m just too chicken shit to take a stand where I might not be. That tracks.

It’s beyond tone, at least it is for me. I felt so virtuous when I shut that guy down and now all I feel is gross.

Anyway. I’m sitting here waiting for the plane to take off really wishing I could think about this over a gin and tonic with my friends. The Libra in me sees every aspect of every side and feels it deeply. This week I become a cancer patient again and I’m oissed about it. so that’s what I’m focusing on.

[ingek73]

Celebrity·Posted on Aug 9, 2024

Republicans Voting For Kamala Harris Over Donald Trump Are Sharing The Reasons Why, And This Makes So Much Sense

"Donald Trump is destroying the GOP, and the only way to stop that is to help Kamala Harris defeat him."

by Morgan Sloss

BuzzFeed Staff

Since President Biden dropped out of the race and endorsed his VP, I've seen quite a few social media posts from Republicans announcing that they'll vote for Kamala Harris over Donald Trump.

Kamala Harris smiling in a suit next to Donald Trump in a suit and red tie

Andrew Harnik/ Brandon Bell / Getty Images

Naturally, I was curious why so many conservatives are willing to vote against their party. So, I recently asked the Republicans in the BuzzFeed Community and got nearly 600 responses in one day! Here's what they had to say:

1. "Because I'm voting against MAGA, not for Harris. I believe in small government, personal freedoms, balanced budgets, and strong alliances. I used to vote Republican until 2016 when that party I voted for stopped existing. I'm willing to lend my vote to the Democrats for as long as the GOP continues to be the party of forced religion, forced patriotism, forced birth, white nationalism, and isolationism."

—purplesnail73

2. "I’m a Texan, a born-again Evangelical Christian, and a gun owner. I'm also a Navy veteran who proudly served. I cannot and will not vote for Donald J. Trump. His words and actions are antithetical to Christ’s teaching. His willingness to lie and wildly exaggerate is off-putting at best. As a veteran, his denigrating remarks toward senior brass undermine the good order and discipline required for a strong and effective military. His praise of dictators and autocrats is abhorrent."

—ancyghoul56

3. "I consider myself a conservative moderate, but I strongly believe in reproductive rights, so I’ll be voting for Harris. I wasn’t going to vote for Biden though, so I’m happy she’s the ticket now."

—laurieh4d6629bb4

4. "I became a registered Republican when we were in the days of Mitt Romney and John McCain — people who deeply cared about our country, had relevant leadership experience, and seemed capable of reviving and maintaining our economy. I was terrified of the socialist agenda being pushed by Bernie Sanders and wanted anything but that. But I’ve realized that the only thing scarier than the extreme left is the extreme right."

"Being a 'New England Republican,' it’s more about libertarian values (states’ rights and a free market) than social conservatism based in religion. I am not a religious person and do not want my (or anyone else’s) rights dictated by others’ religious beliefs. Project 2025 and the decrease in women’s rights are now some of my greatest fears — along with genuine questions about Trump’s mental state, criminal record, and his ability to work with other nations. I would not only be scared to have him as president but embarrassed, so at this point, I’ll vote for anyone else."

—Anonymous

5. "I am a registered Republican. However, I have never voted for Trump. In 2016, I couldn’t get past the Access Hollywood tape. In 2020, I knew he was only interested in what the presidency could do for him. In 2024, Trump SCARES ME TO MY CORE."

—Anonymous

6. "I am a lifelong Republican. Jimmy Carter is the only Democrat I have ever voted for. I voted for Trump twice because I am a Republican, but mostly because he looked to me to be the lesser of two evils. I just can’t bring myself to vote for him again. He has become the greater of two evils! I’m not thrilled by the Democratic platform or many of their priorities. But Trump is just too divisive, and as a nation, we desperately need to come together and find shared solutions to the problems our country is facing."

—charmingkid887

7. "I consider myself fiscally conservative and feel strongly about smaller, more efficient government, less regulation, and fewer entitlements. Let's be real: Trump's idea of fiscal responsibility is giving more to the 1%. Repeatedly, Trump's government handed money to the rich! Throughout the pandemic, large companies were allowed to reap benefits from the government that smaller businesses did not have the resources to explore. Less regulation and freedom have always been a cornerstone of the Republican party, yet laws were passed regulating what a woman can do with her own body."

"Freedom to Trump and the current makeup of the Republican party seems to be giving your money to the rich. Lastly, Trump is a liar and a convicted felon and belongs behind bars, NOT in any position of power."

—Anonymous

8. "I care about the future of my grandchildren. I’m a white woman, and my grandchildren are Black. I am very proud of who they are. I want them to have freedoms and choices, not hatred and racism. Former president Trump's views do not line with my views; the future of this country depends on us making a major change. I believe in Kamala Harris and what she stands for and our country. As for our gay communities, people's choice to love who they choose is also very relevant to my family. I love them — male, female, or undecided. We are all people; we all bleed. This country has bled enough. We will win. God bless Kamala Harris."

—Anonymous

9. "I am an Eisenhower/Kinzinger Republican with three sons serving in the US military. How is this a difficult choice for any educated, ethical human being? Trump is a horrible person, utterly devoid of any political vision, ethical compass, or personal integrity. He’s a convicted felon. Adjudicated fraudster. Indicted for multiple other felonies. A vocal supporter of the world’s worst megalomaniac dictators. For real? I have to explain why no one should ever support him, regardless of party affiliation? Is that what we’ve come to? That’s what MAGA has done to our country in general and the GOP in particular. It’s elevated crass and criminal behavior to a level of normalcy."

—Anonymous

10. "Trump is a wannabe dictator, and Vance doesn’t respect my existence as a single, childless dog mom! Project 2025 scares the crap out of me, and we need decency in the White House! We are fighting for our LIVES here!"

—Betherick85

11. "I’m a former US Marine and was a registered Arizona Republican until 2021, when I switched to Independent. I reluctantly voted for Trump in 2016 and 2020, but after January 6, I was done with him. Donald Trump is destroying the GOP, and the only way to stop that is to help Kamala Harris defeat him. A defeat would break Trump’s grip on the GOP and signal a shift in American politics. It would mean that Trump’s brand of politics no longer holds the same influence, which is crucial for the future of our democracy."

—youngpear70

12. "I’m voting for Harris because I like the level-headedness I see in her and Walz. I’m hopeful that she’ll be our first woman in the Oval Office. I detest Trump, who seems to be an unethical, arrogant bully and threatens the progress made in human rights over the last 100 years. It boggles my mind how Americans are cool with his lies and crimes. He has been both a joke and a danger to the world. I vote based on research, not my party."

—heathere4b60bc97b

13. "I have been a Republican since before I could vote, back when I enlisted in the National Guard as a 17-year-old. At that time, and throughout my 23-year military career, I swore an oath to the Constitution, not the president. I believe in democracy, I believe in God, and I believe in a lot of what Republicans say they stand for. But I absolutely do not believe in Trump and his supporters. They have clearly demonstrated that their only objective is power and control, not democracy, truth, or honesty. Oh, and they are weird!"

—Anonymous

14. "I am scared of what will happen to women and the LGBTQ community under another Trump presidency. I couldn't live with that on my conscience if I voted for Trump, and he won."

—Anonymous

15. "Trump is a convicted felon who has turned the GOP into a MAGA cult. He tried to steal the 2020 election. He lies about the legal system and law enforcement. He attempts to destroy anyone not 100% loyal to him. His entire administration says he is unfit to serve. Vance is a fraud. Harris and Walz are normal people who care about America."

—Anonymous

16. "Registered Republican since 1996 at 18, and 2016 was the first year I did not vote for a Republican for president (also did not for him in 2020 and definitely not in 2024). The constant belittling of those who don't like him, the number of blue-collar workers he and his cronies have screwed over the years, and the hijacking of faith (when he is clearly one of the most godless people by his deeds and words)."

—Anonymous

17. "I voted Republican for 40 years. I don’t recognize the Republican Party anymore. Where are the fiscally conservative, free enterprise, foreign policy hawks of the past? All I hear now is hate. And while I fully support free enterprise, we can’t deny the science of climate change and need to find ways to reduce our impact on the planet before it is too late."

—Anonymous

18. "I did not like how former president Trump attacked Vice President Harris’ race. That crossed a line for me as I have a family member of mixed race. I do not see Trump as a sensitive human. I’m seeing hate from the former president, and I don’t think he can control his temper. I like Tim Walz."

—Anonymous

19. "I don't support dismantling the Department of Education. I do not support policies that would limit the ability of public schools to do their jobs. A voucher or tax credit system for 'school choice' is the death knell of a society. Public school serves as a baseline which all other forms of education are held to. Eliminating public schools will lead to the rise of schools with wacky and potentially dangerous ideologies. Public school is the fabric of our society and must be preserved."

—Anonymous

20. "I will be voting for Kamala Harris. I have not and will not vote for Donald Trump. I was raised as a Catholic in a Republican household and taught to be responsible for my own actions. Donald Trump has no concept of personal or social responsibility. Mr. Trump has lied, used, manipulated, and gaslighted everyone in his realm for personal gain. This type of person has no place in a leadership role for this country or any position of management and responsibility, for that matter. Mr. Trump does not understand the concept of accountability."

"My first impression of Mr. Trump was his role in The Apprentice, which was appalling. Mr. Trump's public behavior and lack of ability to address growth and social issues critical to the well-being of the citizens of this country or the world community is unacceptable. The framers of our Constitution must be rolling in their graves!"

—Anonymous

21. "Trump is the worst thing to happen to the Republican Party since Nixon and Watergate! The man is obviously unfit for public office. The only person Donald Trump cares about is Donald Trump. He knows next to nothing about the Constitution or democracy. The way he acted about the 2020 election results was absolutely DISGRACEFUL!"

—Anonymous

22. "I’m raising a daughter in this world, and I would never leave her in Trump's care. That means something to me. I don’t like Kamala, and I’m not happy to vote for her. But if I can’t even trust you around innocent children, how can I trust you to run a country?"

—Anonymous

23. "I haven't voted for a Republican since Trump got nominated the first time, despite being a registered Republican. I am okay with every Democrat and Republican who has ever held the office of president in my lifetime except Trump. I haven't always agreed with them or voted for them, but I respected them and believed they were doing what they thought was right. I think Harris will be similar. I think she knows that her job will be to do what is right. Trump has always believed his job was to take from everybody else. He was never qualified for the job."

—Anonymous

24. "Because Trump and Vance are both creepy. Trump was the worst president this country has ever had."

—c49a679543

25. "I am a Republican who served seven terms as the elected prosecuting attorney of a county in Missouri. I voted for Donald Trump twice. I will never, under any circumstances, vote for him again. I became a Republican during the Reagan years. We were the party of strong law enforcement, tough national defense, and limited government. Neither party was interested in making abortion a criminal offense. Donald Trump made a cult of the party. His reaction to the January 6 riots, his trashing of the FBI, his vow to pardon rioters who violated the Capitol building, and his 34 felony convictions have made it impossible for me to respect him. The only vote I would cast for him would be GUILTY if I ever got to sit as a juror in one of his cases."

—Anonymous

26. "Foreign policy: Stand by Ukraine. Stand by NATO. We can always deal with differences in domestic policy and legislation. Foreign policy is driven by the president, and the current GOP is dangerously enamored with dictators. Trump praises Putin and insults our own allies, making future conflicts more likely."

27. "There are a lot of things to not like about Trump. The thing that really gets me the most is what he manages to bring out in people. I’m slowly seeing people I love and highly respected turn into hypocritical, dramatically angry morons who can’t seem to see past themselves. I just can’t sit by and participate in letting that type of hatred keep growing."

"If I’m going to use my vote, then I’m going to use it towards making history in a positive way. And I would love to be able to say I voted for the first female president. I like Harris a lot more than I’ve ever liked Hilary."

—Anonymous

28. "Christian nationalism poses a threat to my Christian faith, my LGBTQ friends, and to the fabric of our nation. It’s terrifying to see what’s become of my family members who tout Christian beliefs but are posting photos with a convicted felon and convicted sexual predator as a new messiah. Horrific."

—Anonymous

29. And finally, "I will vote for Kamala Harris and Tim Walz for two reasons. 1) I despise Donald Trump. He lacks character, dignity, morals, and empathy. He’s one of the worst humans on the planet and never should’ve been a presidential candidate, let alone a president. 2) I like the message of hope and a brighter future that Harris and Walz are bringing. They are good and decent people the American people can be proud to have as our President and Vice President."

—Anonymous

Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.

[flashbackonyourbehalf]

God, everything feels so…bleak.

The injection helped enough that I no longer want to die to stop the pain, but I still can’t walk without crutches or even shower.

I have $50 to my name. CBD costs $54.

Still haven’t heard from the state paid leave. My grandfather is helping me out, but that money won’t last long considering how much credit card debt I’ve racked up.

I have to be really conservative with my pain meds; either I stretch them out and suffer moderately every day until I can get them refilled, or I take what I need to stay comfortable and suffer from severe pain and withdrawals for four days.

Even if I magically get better, im going back to work in a cold, rainy, uncomfortable environment. And even before that, im gonna have to somehow quickly rebuild my strength without hurting myself again bc there’s no way in hell I can physically go from being in bed for months to standing 8 hours a day.

I’m not even losing weight anymore (one of the only things bringing me joy) bc the cortisone shot brought back my appetite. I was instructed to ask my surgeon about oral steroids, but I didn’t, because I don’t want to gain weight, even though they might help the pain.

I’m missing out on my favorite month, yet I’m too depressed to even want to watch scary movies.

Everything feels so bleak.

[sil-ntdreamer]

about me - 02/2023

Introduction:

Hello!

8 years later, I figured I would update this page.

I am a teacher from the mid-west of North America that serves as an assistant director of bands. I teach band and music theory for children in 5-12 grades.

//

Origin of username:

My user is “sil-ntdreamer”. A hyphen exists where the e would be because I have a silent e in my name: Brooke. I also consider myself a dreamer, although I am down to earth with my dreams.

//

Regarding my blog title:

Initially a fan-page for Eminem, an American rapper, the original title for this blog was “Brooke Ann the Stan” and old Eminem fandom pictures can be found in my oldest posts. Currently the title is “moving toward minimalism.” Since the last part of my high school years, I began to feel the intense weight of all of the baggage I allowed myself to carry. Although I continue to struggle with carrying too much, I am certainly moving closer to my romantic goal of practicing minimalism.

//

Quick Facts:

Physical:

Race: Black

Height: slightly more than 5-feet

Gender: Female

Personality type: INFJ / enneagram type 1

Natural or relaxed: Natural since birth

Hair type: 4a

Beliefs:

Religion: Christian

Political ideology: Moderate-Conservative

//

In-depth:

Hobbies:

learning

analyzing

drawing

cleaning

music (trumpet, piano, singing)

Likes:

watching interior decorators

self-improvement research

the sky (dusk, dawn, night, day, cloudy, sunny)

organization/planning

philosophy

listening

cuddling

talking with friends

Dislikes:

ambiguity

conflict

radicalism

people who take advantage of others

injustice

judgement void of reason

blue ink

vibrancy/highly saturated colors

clutter

Current Favorite:

Word(s): none :c

Scent(s): warm vanilla; soap

Song(s): n/a

Music Artists: none

Music Album: none

Music genre: none

Font: Arial 9

Movie: n/a

Current Ringtone: “10′000 Emerald Pools” - BØRNS

Food: tacos

Make up: winged eyeliner, blush, mascara, concealer

Color(s): cool colors, dark colors, dark nude colors/deep pinks

Emoticon(s): :c

//

Conclusion:

This blog is a visual journal that always helps me remember who I am. And I’ve noticed I’ve lost a lot favorites and aspects of my personality. I feel very lost.

[ryanmeft]

Movie Review: The Holdovers

After the disaster of Downsizing, Alexander Payne has returned to what he does best: dysfunctional families. This time, they are not blood, but rather a misanthropic prep school teacher, his rebellious student, and the grieving mother who cooks the food. They are thrown together over the holidays when the student’s uncaring parents would rather vacation by themselves. The student is neglected, the professor is cantankerous, and the cook is barely holding it together. They each have their own stories, and we are never given every piece of any of them, which is how it should be. In life we never know everything about those around us, as much as we might think we do.

And indeed, the teacher, Paul Hunham (Paul Giamatti) has hidden layers that he is fine with no one knowing about. He is confronted early on about how standoffish he is, and he does not seem to be putting on a front at all when he says he does not care. He is expected to give students from wealthy families grades they didn’t earn so they can get into colleges they don’t deserve, a thing he will not do. Flunking one particular student winds up landing him the job of supervising the students who can’t go on winter break, and he is spectacularly unsuited to the task. He starts with five but ends up with one: Angus Tully.

Tully is the brightest student in the class, which, given his teacher’s strict standards, nets him a B+ on his final. He’s also by far the most rebellious, reacting as he is to a deceased father, an indifferent stepfather and a mother more concerned with her status than with him. He’s been kicked out of three schools, one more will mean a military academy, and his teacher has no problem telling him he doesn’t like him. I felt some of myself in the young man, and I know from experience that it is almost impossible not to rebel under such conditions. He is played with award-worthy precision by newcomer Dominic Sessa. Sessa knows the language, expressions and body movements of a High School student because he was a High School student when he was cast. A scene in which he leads Paul a merry chase throughout the school is vital, as Sessa has to shift from hostile to playful and back again several times in one sequence. This should be one of those rare times in which an unseasoned actor receives major award consideration.

This odd trio is rounded out by Mary Lamb (Da'Vine Joy Randolph), the school’s cook. She takes her job seriously, perhaps too much so, but she needs the outlet so that she does not spend all of her time grieving her 18-year-old son, recently killed in Vietnam. Randolph has more to do than simply moderate between the two extremes of conservative teacher and rebellious student. Her open grief, when it comes, is not a maudlin moment but a bit of emotional truth, as Payne and screenwriter David Hemingson recognize that pain often manifests itself quietly. She gets her one moment of abject misery, recovers quickly, and does what so many of us must: pours her hurt into a project, namely her sister’s imminent baby.

I devote an entire paragraph to each character because I would watch a movie entirely about any one of them. I very much wanted to know what bits of them Payne and Hemingson had to leave on the cutting room floor. Those bits may be hidden in their environment. When an impromptu “field trip” to Boston becomes a therapeutic excursion for all three, we see that Mary’s sister’s home, an apartment on the fourth floor of a decaying building layered with icy stairs, is a refuge to her. The small rooms and close conditions, things we might consider limitations, grant her and her family the intimacy she seeks, and we keep that contrast in mind as Paul and Angus explore a seedy Boston dotted with dive bars and porno shops, a place where daylight is timid and snow is always dirty.

The real environmental star of the show, though, is Baron Academy, played by Groton, Northfield Mount Herman, Deerfield, and St. Mark's, all real New England boarding schools. With most everyone gone for the season and snow all around, the place is both a warm refuge and a dim prison. This really depends on who you ask, as the teacher sees it as home, the cook as a job, and the student as purgatory. I want to watch the movie again so I can appreciate the way the characters interact with the empty halls and quiet gymnasium. It is a combination of the alluring Hawaiian landscapes of The Descendants and the flat rural no-man’s-lands of Nebraska, a place that meets both extremes in the middle. I wanted to take a walk around it myself, preferably with these eccentric oddballs as my tour guides.

Verdict: Must-See

Note: I don’t use star ratings. Here are my possible verdicts:

Must-See

Highly Recommended

Recommended

Average

Not Recommended

Avoid Like the Plague

[sasquapossum]

You know what's worse than a moderate liberal? A fake-moderate conservative. I discovered one today. I've actually known her for a while, she's generally a good person, but ... politically? Eugh. Here are some things I noticed about our conversation.

Lots of words about "antifa" and other leftist protesters. Not a word about Oath Keepers and Proud Boys storming the capitol.

Lots of words about how judgmental and censorious the far left can be. Not a word about actual book bans and bullshit curricula in Florida and Texas.

Total denial of the idea that when all "legitimate" means of protest are precluded then all protest must needs be "illegitimate". Wouldn't even address the examples of protests in USSR or PRC because they're not here, or of MLK being jailed because it was too long ago. Those were all within her lifetime BTW.

No recognition that the actions of those in power and the actions of those denied power are not symmetrical and do not balance out. A protester hiding their identity to avoid harassment by the state is not the same as a police officer turning off their body camera to avoid accountability. One is (quite reasonably) afraid of the state; the other is the state.

Admiring words - not just grudging respect but actual fawning - for Thomas Friedman (ptui).

Some verbiage about how a country is not even a country if it can't secure its borders. Honestly I tuned out a bit there, lest I get mad, so I don't remember the precise details. Something about "tall fences and big doors" I think.

I'm sure you get the idea. I see this kind of thing a lot among people slightly older than myself (I'm from what is usually considered the first year of GenX if that matters). It's frustrating to deal with because it's so squishy. It's not so much a set of beliefs that fit together as it is a grab-bag of "both sides" tropes borrowed from people like "both sides" Friedman (ptui) or "just asking" Carlson (blargh). Even if every point she raised about "the left" was accurate - and there were a couple of complaints that I've made myself - the relentlessly disproportionate focus and emphasis tell a very different story. This is not someone who is actually progressive in any sense of the word. This is what a "normal" conservative (I know) looks like, only seeming "moderate" by comparison to the utter lunatics who dominate US politics.

BTW did I mention that this MD friend of mine seems utterly oblivious to LGBTQIA+ issues and dismisses adult neurodiversity issues as some sort of self-inflicted peer-pressure thing? I guess we're all products of our times, and her times sure did produce a lot of crappy attitudes.

I don't want to cut this person out of my life, even though some of her beliefs are very problematic. Live and let live, and all that. I don't think she consciously supports racism, sexism, etc. as so many do. But I sure will be more circumspect about engaging in any future political conversations. There's just not enough time to drain the swamp of "order" and "civility" concerns to lay bare the bodies lying beneath.

[miss-rogers-all-american]

Hello! I really enjoy your blog 🎶

I recently broke up with this guy I genuinely wanted to marry. It turned out that he (very left-wing) was so against having kids he would not even consider staying with me because I (pretty moderate politically) have always wanted kids. It was really disheartening to me. The reasons he gave for not wanting kids were so self-centered (“I want to focus on my career like my role models” who are a bunch of rich misogynistic gay guys) and morbid (like catastrophizing about the world ending, “so why would we want to bring more people into it?”) And then ultimately it just hurt that he didn’t love me enough to consider having a family with me.

I feel like most leftist men are like that and I’m really tired of it/don’t want to get hurt again. Do you think men with more traditional values would be consider dating women who, like me, are not Christian/conservative but are really fed up with liberalism and are looking for people who want to live life in a more good and wholesome way?

Hello! I’m very glad you enjoy the blog and I’m very sorry to hear about your breakup. To answer your question, yes and no. There are plenty of conservative men (or men who label themselves so) who would date a more politically moderate/liberal woman, the issue comes with marriage.

In my personal experience, (and now your own) political and more importantly religious views will greatly affect a relationship and how it can progress. It’s important to examine what you believe, and why. Take that information and think about what traditional conservative Christian men tend to think. Do your ideas butt heads? Are there things that will be major points of contention in a relationship? Can you reconcile those things? Do you think your views might change, and if they do are you okay with that?

Those are all questions I would ask myself. I as a conservative Christian dated a man before my husband who was a traditional conservative Catholic. We couldn’t agree on a few things, and that ultimately did not allow us to be in a relationship. If even here where we had so much in common the differences were too much, how may that be there there is less in common in terms of views. I would also ask yourself, are you willing to learn about his religion and consider conversion? This may be an important question.

[a-room-of-my-own]

One of the things I don’t think that pro sex strike fems understand is that the anti abortion movement in the usa is headed by evangelical christian extremists who are VERY anti-sex and anti-female sexual pleasure. Like sex is extremely taboo where I live (Bible belt region, also I’m between age 20-25 for more context). The school I went to straight up didn’t have sex ed. Schools here are not required to have sex ed and if they do it doesn’t have to be medically accurate. Sex is considered to be for procreation only. Birth control is taboo because it prevents pregnancy. Wives are not supposed to deny their husbands sex. You are supposed to have as many children as possible until you either physically can’t or die. It is considered inappropriate to even kiss before marriage. I was told to only give side hugs and never fully hug a guy because he might feel my breasts. I was told that women were not supposed to have sexual “urges” and that something was fundamentally wrong with me if I did. I was told these things in christian youth groups at the churches my parents forced me to go to. I didn’t actually grow up in as extreme of a christian home that I know other women in the usa grew up in. I knew girls who experienced significantly worse things than I did. I was given a few options outside of immediate motherhood, allowed to wear pants, allowed to celebrate holidays, allowed to go on birth control, allowed to leave the house by myself, allowed to go to a real school instead of being “homeschooled”, allowed to wear a one piece swimsuit, etc by my parents. I would actually call them moderate by comparison. I was even sort of given a sex ed talk by my mother. It was not medically accurate or really acceptable in the slightest but I’ve heard of women here being married off not knowing anything about how sex works. The problem with some of the conversation about this abortion thing is that a lot of people do not know how deeply and dangerously the religious extremism in the usa goes. There are people very high up in the conservative party who are evangelical christian extremists. Trump got major support from christian extremists here. There are scotus judges who are involved in christian extremism. People don’t know about this because it starts and grows in the states that are consistently forgotten about (like flyover states) and in rural communities, not big cities. Like Missouri, that place is a total mess. There are politicians there who have stated that they literally want to turn the us into the handmaids tale. The quiverfull movement is playing a major part in whatever the fuck is going on here too. If you want a good example of american evangelical christian extremists there’s the duggar family. Idk how many people outside of the us know about them.

I hope more people here start waking up to the fact that religion extremists have taken ahold of the us. It’s bad and we can’t stop it if we don’t know about it. This is a plan that has been in action for decades and it could have been stopped sooner. The us is unfortunately not a very secular country. Some politicians are calling for christian nationalism even, it’s terrifying. Separation between church and state has been long dead here. Also Fox News is involved somehow. This country is being rotted from the inside out by evangelical christians.

Almost funny story that I didn’t know where to include: female pleasure is so taboo here that I didn’t even know what my clitoris was actually called until adulthood and I was finally able to research the things I was never taught and actually go to the gynecologist for the first time. I didn’t know that it wasn’t a physical abnormality. I thought that there was something wrong with me. I also thought that vaginal penetration was supposed to hurt. That is what I grew up hearing from my first period. That my “wifely duties” would hurt. I didn’t know that it could be pleasurable and I was so terrified that it made me scared to even touch myself for a long time. That is why I will not let that anti-female pleasure type rhetoric radblr likes so much go unnoticed. I’ve done a lot of healing and learning since breaking free of religion and like I don’t want anyone to promote that kind of harmful stuff, if that makes sense. It hurts women.

Thank you so much for sharing your story and your input. I'm glad you could free yourself of all this, it takes a lot of courage.

Stories like yours are also why I'm not backing down about this subject. If you don't feel comfortable talking about it on your own blogs, consider mine your space, I'm with you 100%.

[chamerionwrites]

There's probably an incisive point or two to be made here but without putting pressure on myself to fully articulate them at the moment--

I've been thinking about how most of the Christian fundamentalists I was raised by/with - not entirely without justification! - consider themselves to be very reasonable moderates. It wasn't exactly rare to run into somebody with really extreme views on their personal pet peeve subject, but for the most part they didn't hold them all at once and if they did they were usually (1) politely tolerated but not taken seriously by the people with institutional power, especially if the extreme views could be brushed off as crotchety-traditionalist-old-folks-foibles; (2) asked to tone it down if they got super preachy; or, commonly, (3) flounced out of the church in a dramatic huff to go find or start another church across town with more extreme views, many of which soon imploded in spectacular train-wreck fashion because, well. They were full of the sort of personalities who flounce in a dramatic huff because they think reading any translation of the Bible but the King James version is heresy or something.

The people I was raised around were mostly okay with alcohol as long as you didn't get drunk, mostly okay with dancing as long as it wasn't too sexy, mostly okay with birth control as long as it was in the context of heterosexual marriage. They were mostly okay with women being well-educated, working outside the home (though this was considered sort of a regrettable necessity as opposed to the ideal state of affairs), having their own bank accounts separate from their husband, and even with divorce in the case of cheating or abuse (though in practice there was a pretty strong social stigma). Occasionally you'd meet someone who was opposed to psychiatric medication, but most people were unreservedly appalled by the idea of trying to pray your child's pneumonia away instead of taking them to a doctor. A lot of people were also quite vocally appalled by the Westboro Baptist Church.

And yet these were also people homeschooling their kids for fear of them being indoctrinated into evil worldly wrongthink (often after originally sending them to private Christian schools, only to decide that those schools were too lax/not conservative enough!). These were people who formed the customer base for PureFlix and felt oppressed if someone said Happy Holidays as opposed to Merry Christmas. These were people who lost their ENTIRE minds about Obergefell v. Hodges. These were people who spent my whole childhood sincerely, unironically afraid that we were like one or two bad elections away from being arrested for praying in public.

But they didn't think ~western civilization~ was about crumble because women started wearing pants, and they knew of (and sometimes even made fun of!) people who did, so they thought they were completely sensible.

[young-dumb-and-vaccinated]

Cult Girl: Doctorate (Hannibal x Female!Reader) pt. 4

Will

Cult girl attends her grandmother's funeral and is approached with a highly unorthodox last will and testament.

@wisesandwichshark

Trigger warnings: emotional manipulation and abuse, verbal abuse, death, slight emetophobia, body-shaming, ED mention, pregnancy and family planning

There was no use recounting anything from the leading up to the funeral. You spent that first night wine-drunk, munching on foie gras, watching Arrested Development and diagnosing each character to the best of your psychological abilities. You remembered cry-laughing at the same jokes you had memorized, and reminiscing on all the insane shit your own personal Lucille Bluth pulled on you. That was the highlight of the week. It was all downhill from there. 

Firstly, you were sick. That Sunday, you wrote it off as a hangover. Then, the hangover returned with a vengeance, just to add salt to the already open wound of having to pretend to mourn your abusive grandmother. At least the physical pain would give your acting an air of sincerity, you thought. 

Hannibal dressed in a solid black tux: it was almost uncanny to see him outside of any of his normal checkered suits. You selected a plain black dress and a strand of pearls.

The funeral was to be held at the same country club Anna’s wedding was held. Your grandmother was like a pharaoh, insisting that the empire she built know that even in death, she reigned supreme. The country club was her pyramid. 

Anna asked if you wanted to say a few words. As much as you wanted to get up and tell all her country club friends about the time she reported you as an abducted child at age twenty-two when you refused to leave your boyfriend and move back in with her, you knew that it wasn’t in good taste. You racked your brain for any story that could be considered remotely funeral-appropriate, but none came to mind. 

You spent the entire funeral trying not to roll your eyes too obviously at the stories of abuse her country club friends somehow remembered fondly. Your soul just left your body throughout the entire process and you were unsure if it would ever return. 

All things considered, it could have gone much worse. Then, it did. 

The beginning of the end was when your grandmother’s estate lawyer pulled you and Anna aside to conduct the reading of the will. He showed you to a side room, then excused himself before closing the door behind him. 

“Hello, [F/N].” Liam greeted, trying to cut through the awkward silence that came with first seeing each other after four straight years. “I’m very sorry about your gran. She was a great woman.” 

You gave him a smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes. “Thanks, Lee. I appreciate it.” 

“No she doesn’t.” Anna muttered. “And it’s Liam.” 

“I don’t mind ‘Lee’.” Liam contested. “My mum called me Lee. I actually quite like it.” 

Anna was in one of her ‘I’m so upset, please ask me why’ moods. She sat on one of the heavy armchairs with her legs crossed and eyes to the wall. You weren’t going to bite. 

Liam wasn’t so cautious. “Princess, what’s wrong?” 

“Nothing.” She pouted, not even dignifying her husband with a look. “I just think it’s interesting that I put the funeral together all by myself and someone couldn’t even be bothered to speak.” 

You shot Liam a look that said ‘way to go, jackass’. 

“Yeah,” You said, sitting down in an adjacent armchair. “That must suck.” 

Anna glared at you. “You really have nothing to say? Really?” 

You tensed up. “Let’s see, which charming anecdote would you have me tell? How about that time when she made you wear a fat suit for an hour after you complained about how the low-carb ice cream tasted like chemicals?” 

Liam looked in shock at his wife. “Did she really?” 

“Once.” Anna confessed, holding up one finger. 

You turned to Liam, as if you were sharing some hot gossip. “That was all it took to give her an eating disorder when she was thirteen.” 

Hannibal was just a fly on the wall. Anna noticed his lack of reaction. 

“And I bet Hannibal knows all about this, huh?” Anna said, throwing her hand in his direction. “Because he just needs to hear all of our private family business, right?” 

You stood up from your seat. “First of all, I take offense at the implication that my fiancée isn’t family.” 

An evil smile spread on Anna’s face. “But he wasn’t always your fiancé, was he, [F/N]?” 

“Holy shit, you cracked the code.” You said, flatly. “There was a point in time when Hannibal and I weren’t an item. Real shocker, that one.” 

“You know what I mean.” She sneered, then approached Hannibal. “Dr. Lecter, is it true that before you and [F/N] became romantically involved, you were her therapist?” 

Liam looked scandalized. Hannibal was just as put-together as always. 

“That is true.” He said, feeling no shame whatsoever. 

Anna turned back to you. “Now don’t you think that’s just a smidge unethical? For a therapist to date their much younger patient?” 

You narrowed your eyes. You carried yourself with the lightness of a woman who finally had the moral high ground. “So you want to talk about what’s ethical, huh? I suppose that means you’ve told Liam about pineapple.”

All the blood drained from her face. You crossed your arms and held your head up a little higher. 

“That’s what I thought.” You grinned. 

“Look, could we just pretend to be a normal, functioning family for ten minutes?” Anna pleaded, as if there were anyone other than herself to blame for provoking an argument.

“That’s on you two.” Liam, rightfully, pointed out. He gestured to himself and then to Hannibal. “Neither of us have said anything.” 

The estate lawyer must have gotten his juris doctorate alongside a master's in impeccable fucking timing, because that was when he decided to make his entrance.

"I'm sorry for the wait, everyone." He announced. "And I'm sorry for having to pull you aside in your hour of mourning. Usually the last will and testament is handled through email to the beneficiaries, but your grandmother was quite adamant it be approached this way."

"That definitely sounds like her." You said, exchanging glances with Hannibal. You'd talked about this for what felt like hours the week prior. She was going to pull some last-minute bullshit to humiliate you from beyond the grave. Give all the inheritance to Anna and leave a snide comment about you in a legal document. You knew it was coming. All you could hope was for it to be quick.

The lawyer pulled an envelope from his briefcase. "She specifically asked for her two living grandchildren and their significant others to be present."

"Did she say it like that?" Anna raised an eyebrow. "Or was it more like, 'Anna and her husband, and [F/N] and her therapist'?"

"Mrs. Young," Hannibal said, taking your hand. "Until you tell your husband about pineapple, you aren't allowed to judge us."

Anna glared at you. "What the hell? He knows, too?!"

"Yeah." You answered. "I tell him everything."

"Okay, who or what is pineapple?" Liam interjected. "And why do I get the feeling I'm the only one not in the know, here?"

"That's cause you are." You confirmed. "And you have your lovely wife to thank for that."

"Everyone!" The lawyer called out. Clearly, he'd seen his share of dysfunctional families. "Please, let me just read the will and you can continue arguing afterwards."

"Y'know what? Fair enough." You said, crossing your legs. "Let's rip off this band-aid, shall we?"

The lawyer opened the envelope and produced a single page. He cleared his throat.

"I, Beatrice [L/N], being of sound mind and body, do hereby bequeath all my worldly possessions-" He began reading the long first sentence. "Including but not limited to, a collective sum of $45 million, the family home and my shares of the country club, to the first of my granddaughters to give birth."

You expected nothing. You expected something. But you never could have expected this.

"Can you please read that last part again?" You asked, unsure if what you heard was the result of a stroke.

"The entire inheritance goes to the first one of you to have a baby." The lawyer clarified, trying to make it sound like a reasonable arrangement.

"That makes sense." Anna said, nodding.

You looked at her, dumbfounded. "How in the fuck on fire does that make sense to you?"

"Well, the money would be going to a good cause." She rationalized. "To raise the baby, right?"

You shook your head. "No, this is insane. Grandma has always had this weird obsession with bloodlines, and now she's trying to incentivize us to carry it out."

"What happens if neither of us can, y'know?" Anna asked.

The lawyer pushed his glasses up his nose. "If neither granddaughter is willing to produce a child, the entire inheritance will go to the Eagle Forum, so my ungrateful grandchildren can learn about family values."

"She hated the Eagle Forum!" Anna objected. "She wouldn't dare."

"She absolutely would." You pressed your fingers into your forehead. "That's upper-class white moderates for you. And she doesn't have to be around to see when they name a fucking wing after her."

"The Beatrice [L/N] center for denying women bodily autonomy." Hannibal said. "It's quite fitting."

"[F/N], we can't let that happen." Anna pleaded. "We can't let Eagle Forum get a penny of that money."

"Why the hell not?" You said. Though on principle, you agreed, you knew this was just another one of your grandmother's power grabs. At the end of the day, she chose to leave her money to the Eagle Forum. And it would be her name on that check, not yours.

"Oh my god, you actually hate babies more than you hate conservatives." Anna stood with her mouth agape.

"Don't put words in my mouth." You snapped. "I don't hate babies. I hate grandma for trying to threaten me into having one. I hate grandma for pinning us against each other and making sure it stays that way."

"What do you have against giving me a little niece or nephew, huh?" Anna folded her arms.

"I'm fucking done." You said, throwing up your hands. "This will be the last you ever see of me."

Of course, that's what you said the last time.

[springbudeyes]

Placing Mianite’s Gods on an Ideological Spectrum (but not taking it too seriously)

It sucks to be dead center on an an ideological spectrum. Opinions pull at you from both sides. Politically and religiously, I’m – well, I wouldn’t say I’m a fence sitter because that implies hesitation – but I’m grounded between camps. I’ve been Christian, I’ve been conservative, I’ve been liberal, and now I’m realizing that none of the labels fit me. But I know what does. I like being able to wrap my head around as many viewpoints as possible. I like bringing conflicting ideas together and helping people find common ground. Sure, I voted Democrat this election (and please tell me you did, too). No, I don’t believe in the Christian God. But if you’re a Trump supporter, we can have lunch. If you’re an old friend from church, I miss you and would like to catch up. It struck me today that I might be an Ianitee irl. This is all on a whim, of course. I’m not trying to “sort” myself into her “house” or assign anyone else a Mianite god, for that matter. My point is not to assign a label, but to explore an idea.

The goddess of balance walks a tightrope. She holds a scale. She is both light and dark in a photograph—and therefore, she can also be grey. She’s an impartial judge. Her job, although far grander in scope than mine, isn’t totally unlike what I do for my tiny group of friends on the internet. Her followers might be people who struggle to navigate the warring dualities of their worlds. This makes Prince Andor a bit of a chaotic Ianitee if you think about it. It comes naturally, of course. If the balance leans toward Mianite, then Dianite must bleed into Ianite for the brothers to equalize. The goddess of balance wields both order and chaos. If Mianite reigns, the neutral sister stands with Dianite in bringing chaotic revolution to the doorstep of tyrannical order. Likewise, if Dianite has plunged the world into darkness and fire, Ianite joins with Mianite in building armies and sanctuaries. “We are not pacifists, nor are we vindicators,” Andor said. “We are nature. We are whatever balance demands. We are void and we are hurricane. We are the healer. We are the warrior.” If Dianite had ravaged Ruxomar and Mianite had lay dormant for ten years, a blade in his chest, both Helgrind and Andor may have preached quite different yet still conflicting ideas. As a psychological note, an Ianitee will have a hard time if they’re conflict-avoidant, but they’ll go through Hell if they’re ill-tempered. The magic word is temperance. (See the Temperance arcana in Tarot.) I suppose I might as well go ahead and draw the comparison between an Ianitee and a centrist, a term which may hold some emotional charge for you if you follow politics. Put simply, a centrist holds moderate political views. I don’t identify as a centrist, but the term does describe me, and my refusal to accept the label might serve only to exacerbate the problems a centrist already has. My problem – which a certain type of Ianitee might share – is a lack of belonging. Few people consider you their ally because few have the time or interest to let you engage in the long, convoluted process of proving your character and earning their trust. On the surface you might seem – as I said before – like a fence sitter or even an enemy simply because you refuse to accept a proposed solution. Most people wish even their enemies some amount of good, but when it comes to choosing between friends and enemies, most will choose friends. You might not want to make that choice. You might want to save everyone. If you can’t, you won’t. Your stance may sound sensible once you’ve had time to parse it out, but it’s far smoother on paper than in practice, and it’s nigh impossible to preach “love thy enemy” to a wounded wolf. On the other hand, maybe you are a fence sitter. Maybe you genuinely don’t know right from wrong. Maybe you’re a bit of a nihilist. “Is all this conflict really worth it? Return it all to nothing. Void.” (In your local RP group, ever thought of playing an Ianitee who wants to “End It All?”) But hopefully, you’re more of an existentialist. You see meaning vested in people and their accomplishments. You want to help them find the best meaning for them and you don’t think they’ll do it by veering blindly toward every impulse. Extended streams of impulse gratification can lead to extreme ideological thinking, such as totalitarianism. You don’t want a world full of people who all think the same thing. Again, the magic word is temperance. There’s real importance in having two sides to a system. Take, for instance, the political structure of the United States. Democrats and republicans are ever at war, but what are they really doing under the surface? What are they intended to do? Well, that’s up for debate (some might say “kill each other”), but if we take a broad look at history, a pattern emerges. One party – the party of order, you could say – establishes hierarchy. It defines who is who and who gets what. It puts competent people in positions befitting them and treats the less competent with compassion. That’s if all goes well, but the party of order isn’t impervious to corruption. People who tout themselves as servants of God and the State turn out to be monsters who ravage the environment, the economy, the rule of law, and each other. That’s when – take this with a grain of salt – the party of chaos steps in. At first it calls for change. It articulates and expresses visions for a better order. It doesn’t seem so chaotic now, but as the corruption spreads, unhearing and unyielding, moderates and liberals become radicals. Calm discussions become battles for sweeping change. The rebels rage for equality and take it by massive persuasion or by force. They break up the calcified structure of the old order and drag it back down into the primal, bloody sea from which new order springs. (I’m dipping into Mesopotamian mythology here, and if you’re familiar with the Enuma Elish, you’ll know the significance of what I’m about to say.) Order will return, but it must be guided. Someone must ensure that the reborn world is more just and peaceful than the dead one. We need order within chaos—Yang within Yin—white dot within black swath.  I’ve just tried – and perhaps failed – to describe the eternal cycle of order and chaos in terms of real-world society. Now let me place it in a simplistic Mianite shell. Mianite builds hierarchy, Dianite tears it down, and Ianite stands in the middle, bearing two communicating vessels, ensuring that neither too much nor too little blood is spilled in the process of transformation from old to new. 

[pointnumbersixteen]

A Head Cannon Biography and Character Analysis and of the Captain, Part 2: the Boarding School Years, with a Digression on My Own Gay Youth

Back to head cannon for a bit: it’s my thought that all of this (see part 1) led to Cap’s dad shipping him off to a military boarding school the next year in an attempt to ‘man the gay out,’ as was often done back in the day (you don’t end up as repressed as the Captain without the help of at least a few people in repressing you, parents first and foremost- I’m out to everyone in the world except my parents, they’re religious conservatives). 

If we want to pick something specific, a quick google search yielded me that the Duke of York’s Royal Military school was established in 1803 and starts taking boarders at eleven, which fits into my timeline nicely, so let’s go with that. (Or something similar. Maybe something a bit harsher if that’s a nice place. I don’t know. Again, I’m in the US.)

And little-boy-Cap was probably given the explicit message when he was sent that the person who he was was unacceptable, and that the person the school would mold him into was the person that he should be. And like any eleven year old boy, he wants to be accepted, he wants his father to approve of him, so he tries his best, his absolute best, to conform. And never quite succeeds. (I feel very sad for little-boy-Cap.)

First off, he doesn’t like military school. It’s against his nature. He has too much natural enthusiasm. He can’t quite get control of his emotions. I think his line to the plague pit people in the basement of Button House when he tries to take over their group in s1e6 about how they might not like it or find it easy, but order and discipline were necessary, was drawn from his own experience of not liking it and not finding it easy at first. And like any kid who is doing what they find hard and that don’t like out of nothing more than obligation, it’s a struggle for him at first. He’s probably one of the last to make it up to snuff and that already puts him lower in the pecking order to the staff and other students than the boys that arrived enthusiastically ready and quick to pick up on being some gloriously romanticized soldier (this being before WWI, of course, after which war was far less gloriously romanticized). And besides that, socially he’s just a bit off.

Drawing from my own non-het eleventh, twelfth, and thirteenth years, back in the late nineties, when being gay was no longer a crime but still generally considered a sin and in many places socially unacceptable: he would have found himself flustered in the changing rooms before and after sports, alternatively stealing the odd glance and pointedly not looking at the other boys so hard that it was too obvious that he was NOT LOOKING, he would have been randomly finding his eyes coming to rest too often on the best looking boy in his class, even though said boy is way too cool to associate with him socially and thus he’d have no reason to be looking at them so often, he wouldn’t have been interested when the other boys started contemplating the headmaster’s daughter or whatever passed for a female film star in 1910’s silent cinema (or however else boys crushed on in the 1910’s, I don’t know), for long enough that it becomes noticeable that he isn’t interested and then when he notices he’s being noticed, he overcompensates, like James in Derry Girls in the Protestant exchange episode, so desperate to prove that he’s normal and one of the straights that it comes across as somewhat distasteful, more-than-usual-for-the-time-period misogynistic, and way over the top. And since he can’t understand what makes the hets talk about girls, he never quite gets the timing or context of these conversations right. And while no one is sure- he’d probably get kicked out if people were sure- whatever passed for gay slurs at the time were probably tossed his way or at least snickered behind his back the way the word ‘fag’ was hurled at any boy who didn’t conform to whatever was socially cool when I was in middle school, whether they were gay or not.

And this is where my experiences will have to diverge from his, because while I took that moment to think to myself that if the Bible and my peers and society and whatever else aren’t okay with me, fuck ‘em, he did not reach that conclusion. In his defense, it was much easier for me to get there. I knew society was turning in my direction and doing so quite quickly. When I came out in school during my junior year of high school, what moderate social life I had didn’t change because of it. No one stopped changing in front of me in the locker room or called me any names. It was becoming progressively uncool to use ‘gay’ as a synonym for ‘uncool.’ When our principal called me into her office my senior year to enquire about my English teacher saying that I was a lesbian in class (it had somehow came into our discussion of the Canterbury Tales, although I no longer remember how), she whispered ‘lesbian’ like it was a bad word and she thought the teacher had insulted me, but when I told her I was in fact a lesbian, she pasted on a smile (although she did literally clutch her pearls) and sent me on my way with nothing more than, ‘I just wanted to make sure you weren’t upset.’ The campus Gay Straight Alliance was offered as an optional activity the very first night of my first year orientation at university. The upperclassman club officers ended up taking all of us baby-gays to a drag bar in the seedy section of downtown. It was amazing. The Repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell (which kept people from being openly gay in the military in the US) took place just a few months after I graduated from college and a few months before I enlisted in the US Army. Gay Marriage was legalized when I was twenty-six. As I grew up, society gave me more and more room to be gay. 

The Captain didn’t have that luxury. Even if he’d lived to be a hundred, he never would have seen any of it. His society and place in time wouldn’t allow him to be gay. The penalty for being caught out as gay in the UK when he died was still two years at hard labor in prison and/or chemical castration. And, as unfortunately proven by Alan Turing in ’52, who killed himself afterwards, that penalty was still regularly enforced.  

So more head cannon: He had to know he was gay, of course. He never became interested in women and after WWI was over, it wasn’t like there was a shortage of single women in England. His attraction to attractive men is obvious enough that Julian notices it on the regular. Teen-Cap couldn’t miss it. But the Captain told himself, like he’d tell Fannie later in Reddy Weddy, to bury those emotions because nothing good would ever come of them. If he never acted on his feelings, he probably told himself, it wasn’t a crime or a sin or a violation of military conduct or shame to his family, and therefore he wasn’t ever going act on it. Maybe he even convinced himself that if he never actually did anything gay, he wasn’t actually technically gay. 

The poor guy probably died a virgin, or something pretty close to it, maybe a slip up or two in anonymous sorts of situations, but he does his best to repress and mostly succeeds on not acting on it. No grand affairs or romances for him. But he still didn’t quite fit socially, either. As his fellow schoolmates were having relationships and later his fellow officers were getting married and having kids, he couldn’t bring himself to do it (there’s plenty of evidence in the show for him being very squeamish and in the Byron episode it clearly pained him to even say the word ‘intercourse,’ even the idea of het-sex seems to be squick for him), and his eyes still lingered too long on especially handsome men, and he would likely have been suspected and not quite accepted. He probably led a very lonely life. (I feel very sad for adult-Cap, too.)

[rpmemesbyarat]

RP Meme from "Chapter One: Shoots and Canes" in the Children of Gaia Tribebook from "Werewolf: The Apocalypse" Part One of Two

Sure he’s not a ringer?

I freaked bad.

A wonder the humans here weren’t really bad-tempered. Yet.

It was just scary and fucked when it happened.

No fires, no grills, no nothing, they said. This sucks.

No shade either.

If I have to I’ll eat it with my hands.

Any who wishes may tell a tale tonight, but the tale may last only as long as one log takes to burn.

This is the oldest tale. It is about today. It’s about

yesterday too.

I speak only for myself; that is all anyone can do.

I am myself, and that is all I can be.

We are all brothers and sisters from the same Mother

Even when we do not fight, our division cripples us and makes us seem weak and foolish

We should be examples to them, not a laughingstock

I lay this blessing upon you.

That guy had the stones!

Maybe I can help. I don’t know.

You think success spoiled us?

Still left me out.

The Left got as much done as it could, maybe, then threw it all away on the drugs and stupid hippie crap.

Rock and roll was cool and it still is, but it didn’t help anyone get jobs or places to live, protection from discrimination.

The parties, sure, they were great.

The leathermen were so drugged they didn’t even care. Drugs--look, I hate the laws too. But I hate people fucking up their lives and their brains even more.

We stopped doing stuff that was helping and started to do shit that made everyone mad and didn’t help anyone.

You don’t just get something and have it forever. You gotta take care of it and guard it.

I mean, look at the ’90s, when the basic idea of political correctness — which, at its heart, was nothing more complicated than ‘try to consider the feelings of those different than you’ — got pushed too far, and then a backlash hit. ‘PC’ became a dirty word; suddenly the ‘cool’ thing to do was to show that you weren’t ruled by political correctness by busting out all the crap talk.

I mean, can’t you see something’s wrong with that?

The moderates stopped listening to what the radicals had to say, because the radicals proved they had no interest in moderation.

We didn’t consolidate our gains, and a lot of us stopped caring.

She never gave up, never burned out.

She can inspire anyone

As discouraged as I get, she’s all it takes.

Time eats what we believe, what we are.

Time takes; does it ever give?

We all talk of peace, and how best to achieve it. I come to talk of the alternative. I speak of war.

We know what happens to anyone unlucky enough to even stand too near a war.

Scientists vivisected human beings.

Guns slew soldiers and civilians indiscriminately.

That is war. That is the worst in humanity, and everything we fight against.

I've seen these things first-hand.

It’s even enough to make one lose all hope in ever achieving peace for the world, for even a generation’s time.

Right motivation, wrong idea.

Those that are ill beyond healing, and will hurt others if left alone to do so, people like that can’t be forgiven.

If we all have to give our lives to prevent something like the World Wars from happening again, it’ll be a small price.

We have to be better than the humans were.

We have to treat our defeated foes with enough mercy to keep them from rising again — but we cannot lose to them.

Who was that guy?

No sorrier state of affairs has ever plagued our race.

I’m damn proud to relate that many others did what they could to reconcile the two sides, and in a few places, it worked.

When the need is truly there, we will be one again.

He’s from one of the old families. . . very conservative in a lot of ways.

Humans do outnumber us, you know, and they are pretty creative.

We are more than spectators, parasites or victims.

A discussion with a market fruit seller, a book left on a leader’s tea-table, a sermon or salon attended by a few chatty ladies — all can do a lot to bring the right ideas to the right people.

You hear boasts of battles and wars from many tribes, but this was true heroism. To spring men from the trap of money and class, to feed the poor with honest work.

This was a time of confusion and violence

We had tried to convince the rebels around us that it was a chance to begin anew and work for peace, but they were out for blood.

The fear arose within us that another reign of violence and butchery was about to begin.

[dgchg]

his eyes and horns and spinal plates blood red

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[barroomhero]

Okay. So, I somehow stumbled upon this video, and I have things to say.

This youtuber makes the argument about you cannot be conservative and punk. Full disclosure, I consider myself a punk, and I consider myself a moderate conservative, not a full on right-winger.  No, conservatism and punk are not inherent oxymorons.

I’m about to dissect this video here:

1. You must listen to punk in order to be a part of the punk subculture. I agree. Glad we have a common baseline. That will probably be one the few places we’ll agree.

2. Punk has leftist undertones.

No. If all you listen to is anarcho-punk like Crass, then hell yes it is. Sure, an overwhelming majority of punks are sadly uber leftist, but there are some sub-factions within the subculture that very much not left-wing.

3. The origins of punk are working class, anti-capitalist, and anti-consumerist.

No, at least not in the States. The origins of punk come from challenging the status quo, but it has very little to do with economic systems.

Example. Bands like the Ramones, the New York Dolls, and even some British bands like Motorhead, drew heavily from acts such as Chuck Berry, Elvis, the Beach Boys, The Who, and the early Beatles. Chuck Berry and Elvis were certainly revolutionary at the time and created an entire new youth subculture. However, I’m not picking up a lot of “eat the rich” vibes in their lyrics. Most of the subject matter in those lyrics are mostly just part of being a kid (love, cars, and things like that.)

4. Punk is a counterculture.

Yes, yes it. However, when most of the punk scene is clamoring for the same garbage that is being perpetuated by academic institutions, the mainstream media, big corporations, and social media, your argument about fighting the system holds very little clout because the system you’re “rebelling against” is saying the exact same bullshit you are. You are the system . You say that culture is informed by mass corporations and the media?!? If you hold your own  words to be true, you are then, by your own definition, not punk.

5. There’s not a lot of conservative-aligned punk rock music.

No, you just haven’t bothered to look/most IRL conservatives are the “silent majority” type, meaning they don’t feel the need to broadcast their views.

Examples of conservative punk songs:

Hell, even the ultra-leftist Dead Kennedys had a song poking fun at proto-SJWs in “Holiday In Cambodia.” 

6. There was “Rock Against Communism,” but that wasn’t “real punk.”

That sounds eerily like the “that wasn’t real communism™” bullshit that gets thrown around.

7. Conservative punks exist, but it doesn’t align with the culture of punk rock.

No. Punk rock, at its inception was actually quite individualistic and advocated for doing your own thing. That’s pretty much what libertarians on either side espouse, right? 

8. You cannot go to a punk show with a swastika on and expect to be accepted there.

True, but that holds true for almost any space. 

Also, this:

Icons like Sid Vicious and Johnny Thunders both often wore swastikas, although this not so much because they were anti-semitic (and they weren’t) but more a shock tactic to piss people off.

9. What kind of punk music have I been listening to? See the embedded videos above/largely apolitical punk. (Also I hate Crass.) Anarchy-punk is only a part of punk.

Here are the punk bands that I listen to most:

Ramones, Misfits, The Queers, Screeching Weasel, Minor Threat, Husker Du, Johnny Thunders and The Heartbreakers.

10. What community do I have? What music do I listen to? 

I left the community a long time ago after I started to dig deeper in the leftist lyrics of some of the bands I used to listen to. I have no regrets. I’ll refer you to the bands listed above. 

11. Punk is pro social rights.

Yeah, and so is libertarianism.

12. Not all leftists think the same.

Neither do conservatives. I happen to be gay, and I disagree with conservatives on gay marriage. 

TLDR, your view of the punk subculture is very skewed if all you listen to is anarcho-punk. Punk is so much bigger than that, and there’s so space for conservative punks too. My punk “credentials” have lasted for the last 12 years of me walking away from the Democratic Party.