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xoxo-teddybear · 3 years ago

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You Did This To Us - Bakugou Katsuki

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: ANGST, cursing, gore, implied sexual activity, infidelity, alcohol abuse, marijuana use, I’m just here to rip y’all hearts out, MDNI

Summary: It was a horrible battle against raging villains and he watched you, his loving wife of 6 years, get pierced right in front of him. It was traumatizing. Your days in the hospital sent him into depression, causing him to make the worst decisions of his life. Decisions he’s regretted the second he’s made them and decisions he’ll forever regret because of what it cost him.

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

He warned you not to come. No that’s not the right word. He begged you to sit your ass down at home where you would be safe. But of course, you were never that kind of hero. You could never sit on the sidelines and watch others fight a battle you knew you could at least try to help in. So with a heavy heart, he reluctantly allowed you to come. His first regret.

Because as the battle died down and victory was in sight, his world was thrown into chaos once more. The villains were down. The wind was settling. The dust was clearing. Katsuki could see you struggling to stand due to exhaustion but saw your smile nonetheless. He gave a breath of relief as he still saw you and jogged over to you. As he did, you noticed him coming your way and your smile only grew. Until it suddenly dropped, along with his own. Out of nowhere, a sharp, metal staff flew threw the air and pierced you right in the stomach. The sight was nauseating as Katsuki covered his mouth, truly shocked. He watched you in horror as you trembled before falling to the ground.

Katsuki looked behind him to find the attacker and saw some stupid, weak ass, good for nothing villain use the last of his power just to cause you harm. Then the world began to shake. No, that wasn’t it. Katsuki was violently trembling as he looked towards the bastard on the ground. Despite him being knocked out cold, that didn’t stop Dynamight from rushing over to him, grabbing him by the neck and blasting him. No one was around. No one would see. His job was safe. He could do this and have no repercussions whatsoever, so why not?

After the petty villain’s death, Katsuk used every ounce of strength in him to run to your body that had blood trickling down the side of your lips. “Y/N!”

You turned your head the best you could to find your husband sobbing his eyes out as he picked you up into his lap. He cradled your head and gently tapped your face, trying to keep you conscious. “Hey! Hey, you’re gonna be okay, alright?! You’re gonna be okay baby I promise.”

“Suki..I’m tired.” You whispered out in a weak voice. Hearing your words stabbed him through the chest.

“I-..I know baby. I know you’re tired. But- but you can’t go to sleep okay? Don’t go to sleep. You have to stay awake- stay alive! Okay?” He pleaded with you. He called out for a medic once he saw the flashing red and blue lights near the scene and held onto your body. He looked to you and saw your eyes becoming null and dense before firing back up again. You were falling in and out of consciousness. You were a fighter and you were trying to stay alive. It made him choke out a sad laugh. “You’re gonna make it, Teddy Bear, I swear.”

“….if I don’t make it-“

“You will, you idiot, don’t say shit like that!”

“But if I don’t…just- Ah-….just know I love you, Suki.”

Katsuki kissed your forehead before hugging you close. “I know, Y/N. I love you too. More than anyone, and more than you’ll ever fucking know.”

He noticed a small smile reach your lips before the medics came. Katsuki was quick to stand with you in his arms, careful and aware of the metal still pierced within you. He handed you off to the professionals who handled you with extra care. They brought you into the ambulance with Katsuki trying to follow in before being stopped.

“The fuck-“

“Dynamight, we can’t allow you to go in.” One said.

“And why the fuck not?! That’s my wife in there!” Katsuki shouted as he pointed to you.

“I understand, but her condition is severe. We can’t have anyone taking up space as we take care of her on her way to the hospital.” He explained.

“Taking up space?! Do you even know who you’re-“

“Sir, please. Let me do my job, let me save your wife’s life.” With that, Katsuki finally nodded in silence as he allowed the medic’s words to echo in his head. “Can you meet us at the hospital?”

Once again, a silent nod. With that, the medic was off and back to your seemingly lifeless body. Katsuki watched as he lead the team and perfectly directed them. He was sure that until you got to the hospital, you were in good hands. That was one guy he could surprisingly trust. He didn’t know him very well or at all for that matter, but he has Dynamight’s trust. Now Katsuki just had to head home and clean himself up before finding you again. Screw getting checked up. He knew his body. He knew he was damn well fucking fine.

—

As Katsuki opened the door to his house in a rush, he was quick to take a shower just to wash off the dirt and blood. He quickly hopped out and changed into some clothes before looking for his car keys. He found them at his nightstand along with the framed pictures of you and him. One on your wedding night and one celebrating your 3rd anniversary as a married couple. As Katsuki quickly looked through he pictures he smiled with a tear falling down his cheek. He looked around the room and took in all the pictures of you both that decorated your walls and tables.

You both were together since junior high. You were together for 10 years and despite being at the young ages of 23 and 22, he still decided to pop the big questions and propose. You said yes. It was one of the happiest days of his life, next to getting you to be his girlfriend, and meeting you in general. Forget the hero work, he’d trade it all if it meant he got to stay with you. You were always involved when it came to his happiest points in life. And now you were fighting for your life at the hospital. So with that, Bakugou wiped his tears and ran to his car, urgently trying to meet you at the building.

As he pulled up and parked, he pushed passed all the paparazzi and fans that surrounded the entrance due to news of you being there. You can assume how bad it got when everyone took notice of another pro-hero, and that pro being Dynamight no less, showing up. Despite all that, Bakugou forced his way in and made it to the front desk, demanding to know where you were. The poor lady at the desk had to deal with this explosive bomb, only to anger him even more by asking for his ID.

“Are you a fucking idiot?! Look at me! I’m Bakugou fucking Katsuki?! The number one pro fucking hero?!” He screamed at the poor girl.

“I’m- I’m sorry sir! It’s just protocol. H/N is a pro-hero, this is just what has to be done.” She shakily let out. Bakugou grunted before slamming his ID and Hero license onto the table. The lady nodded before handing him a piece of paper that had directions to your room.

Bakugou snatched it and gave her a scowl before running to look for you. Finally making it to one of the highest floors and down the longest hallways, he finally reached your door with 2 doctors already standing out in front of it. Bakugou tried to get through but they stopped him from entering.

“What?! What fucking now?!” He shouted as he stepped back to keep their hands off of him.

“Sir, they’re taking care of your wife just fine, but you have to wait here.” One of the docs demanded. With that, an argument bursted out between the pro and the doctors. The booming voices shook the building until a familiar voice was heard from behind the blonde.

“Dynamight, your wife’s in good care. I made sure my own wife was to be her head doctor.” Bakugou turned around to find the medic that stopped him from going into your ambulance there.

“It’s you.” He spoke aloud. The medic smiled before bowing.

“Daisuke Ena,” the medic said before standing back up straight. “Please trust me when I say your wife will be fine.”

“…and why should I?” Bakugou said after thinking for a minute.

“My wife is the one taking care of her. She is one of the best, if not the best, doctor in the prefecture. That’s not a biased opinion by the way, you can look her up. Daisuke Ami. I ensured it was her who was to see to your wife.” Daisuke said with a calm smile. After looking towards your hospital room, Katsuki turned back to the medic and nodded silently like he did before. But this time, he added a small ‘thank you.’

—

6 hours. Katsuki sat in one of the seats in front of your hospital room for 6 fucking hours only for them to tell him they cannot allow you visitors. You were in an unstable condition and so they sent Katsuki home. The news was heart wrenching. You always ran through Katsuki’s mind 24/7. He couldn’t stop it. But now, these thoughts were no longer happy and innocent, consisting of ‘damn, I miss her,’ and ‘I wonder what my girl’s doing right now.’ Instead they consisted of ‘Is she gonna be okay,’ and ‘she’s gonna come home, right?’ but most of all ‘I can’t lose her.’

Luckily for Katsuki, he became familiar with medical staff, Daisuke Ena, and was lucky enough to get his number. Daisuke gave him updates on Y/N. Usually, they weren’t so great but the hero appreciated the messages. The text didn’t help in uplifting Katsuki’s spirits though. If anything, they made them worse. In the beginning, Katsuki had hope that you would turn out okay.

But then a week passed.

And then another.

And then two more and before he knew it, you had already been in there for a month. This was the longest month of Katsuki’s life. It sucks to say but in the 13 years that you both have been together, he’s hasn’t done much alone outside of hero work. And even then, he would be lucky enough to work with you. It was always you and him together. Dates? Duh. Grocery shopping? Always you and him. Going for a walk? Why not? He loves spending as much time as he could with you. He loves you. But he hadn’t realize how dependent he became on your presence. In a way, you being gone drove him mad. He knew where you were. You were in the hospital. He could drive her there and see you right now!

No he can’t.

Because he would go and you would be stuck in bed, unconscious and hooked to machines, in a room, behind a door that Katsuki can’t get by. Seeing you isn’t the same as holding you. Speaking to you isn’t the same as conversing with you. There’s no reciprocation from your end. Being around your near lifeless body could only do so much. And so after two more weeks without you went by, Katsuki fell into a depression.

And that sucks because a few days after Katsuki’s depression began, it was okay for him to see you. But you hadn’t woken up yet. He didn’t think he would be able to be near you and your practically dead body. The fact that you were alive didn’t stick to him. He can’t see your beautiful E/C eyes, he can’t hear your honey-like voice..there’s no way you’re alive. The back of his mind still had hope. He knew you were stable. He knew you were gonna be okay..hopefully..but, you weren’t waking up. You were basically dead. Dead, dead, dead. And the more he thought about it, the more realistic the idea came to be.

So he didn’t visit you anymore..something else he’ll come to regret, and because he didn’t visit, he grew mad. Throwing away his life and succumbing to the tempting taste of alcohol. Any he could get. From the cheapest beers in cans to the finest liquors sold from top shelf. In the beginning, it was..controlled, but then he showed up to hero work completely wasted. Kirishima saved his job and forced Katsuki to take a break until he becomes stable again. This only gave Katsuki free time to do whatever the hell he wanted. And what did he want to do? He wanted to become lost.

Lost in alcohol, lost in weed, lost in everything. Lost because he doesn’t have you. Everyday he would spend it drinking and smoking, constantly being cross faded and surprising all his friends when he remained alive after all the substance abuse. Wake up, drink, get ready, drink, sit in the living room, smoke, cry over you, smoke and drink, eat and drink, go to sleep after a smoke sesh, cry over you once more. Eventually, Katsuki had cried so much, the only thing keeping him together was the fact that he had all these pictures of the two of you. Pictures of your smiles, you giving him a kiss, your dates, your accomplishments..he has all these pictures..but none of them would ever be as good as the real you.

Seeing his friend going down this road, Kirishima couldn’t help but try to do everything he could to fix his friend. No matter how many times Katsuki pushed him away, the red head kept going back. And none of his attempts to help his friend worked. Until…

—

“What now, Shitty Hair?” Bakugou groaned as he opened his door and squinted at the bright day light. He doesn’t remember that last time he’s seen the sun.

“I know you’ve been in a slump-“

“Slump? That’s what you call this? I lost the love of my life, Kirishima. This isn’t a fucking slump.” Bakugou said a little louder this time.

“She’s not gone, Bakugou.” Kirishima said trying to reassure his friend.

“But she’s not here either,” the blonde said as he chewed on his lip. “…look, whatever it is you want from me, I can’t give you. Not until Y/N is back at home, here, with me, safe and alive.”

“I know you feel that way man, but you can’t keep living like this. It’s not good for you. You at least need to get out of your house.” Kirishima said with his hand on the door as Bakugou tried to shut it. The blonde narrowed his eyes at his best friend before Kirishima spoke up again. “We can go wherever you wanna go and do whatever you wanna do, you just gotta get out of this house. Please.”

As Katsuki thought about it, he took a deep sigh before speaking. “Tonight at Hiro’s?”

“Dude, you wanna go to a bar-“

“It’s a club. Better than a bar, better drinks.” Bakugou corrected.

“Are you sure you don’t wanna hit the gym or maybe go to an actual restaurant or something?” Kirishima said, trying to steer his friend clear of alcohol.

“If you want me out of my house, then we go where I wanna go. No exceptions.” Bakugou said with a stern voice. Kirishima thought about it and sighed before giving in.

“Fine. But first, you gotta clean yourself up.” The red head said. The blonde nodded before going to shut his door, only to be interrupted by his friend once again. “With a little help from your best buds.”

As Kiri pushed the door open even more, Kaminari and Sero showed their faces that held kind smiles that only made Katsuki seethe. “No fucking way. This isn’t some girl’s trip and we aren’t doing makeovers.”

“Nobody said anything about a makeover, we’re just gonna help clean ya’ up Kacchan!” Denki smiled.

“I’m a grown man, I don’t need help cleaning up.” Bakugou said with a growl.

“Tell that to your stubble, messy hair, eye bags, and stench.” Sero began. “Seriously man, you smell like liquor and weed. You’re lucky you got that caramel thing going on to save you…barely.”

Before he knew it, his friends had pushed him into his house and quickly directed him to the bathroom. They did a full treatment. Forced him into the shower and made him soak in a tub of scented soaps and bath additions as they cleaned his house. Once they were done they had picked out a clean outfit for him before working on his face. They shaved his stubble, cleaned up his cut, put some eye cream on his bags, gave him some breath spray and changed out a few of his piercings. The full treatment. And when they showed Bakugou the new old him, he couldn’t deny he felt a little better. At least, before they stepped into his room again and he saw a few pictures of you. That’s when the slump in his shoulder returned.

Seeing this, his friends were quick to take him out of the house and head to Hiro’s. Walking in, they sat at the bar, ordered some food and a few drinks, and did whatever they could to keep Bakugou’s mind off of you. And for most of the night, it worked! Bakugou was laughing again, smiling, being his old self. But that’s when Denki decided to risk it.

“We doing shots or what?” The electric blonde asked. Kirishima gave him a look as he spoke.

“Uh, let’s go light on the liquor tonight. We don’t need shots to have a good time, right?” Kirishima said. Bakugou looked at him and chuckled.

“It’s nice of you to look out for me, Shitty hair, but I got this. Trust me.” Bakugou said with a small smile.

“I don’t know, man.” Kirishima said with a pout.

“Don’t be a pussy, Kirishima.” Kaminari smirked. That’s when all of Kiri’s friends, even Bakugou, began to egg him on. Of course, he gave in. Why not? What’s the worst that could happen? Bakugou gets drunk? He’s already been drunk before, nothing too crazy could happen, right?

Wrong. Shots were being downed and the 4 friends were losing themselves. The music was blasting, the lights were blinding, and the friends were…everywhere! Kirishima was probably puking his guts out in the bathroom, Sero and Kaminari were drunk on the dance floor, leaving Bakugou drunk at the bar by himself. Bad idea. The poor blonde was looking at his phone going through pictures of you and him together. He already missed you like crazy when he was sober, now that he’s drunk, that missing has hit full throttle. And then he caught the eye of a snake.

She walked up to the pro-hero with full confidence as she took a seat next to him. “Dynamight.”

Bakugou looked up from his phone with a scowl and blush from the alcohol. “Do I fucking know you?”

“No but-“

“Then get lost.” He said and downed another sip of his whiskey. The woman smirked at his crude behavior.

“Feisty. I like that about you, you know. Always playing hard to get.” She said with a seductive tone.

“I’m not playing hard to get, I’m playing impossible to get because I’m married,” he said and showed his wedding ring. “Happily.”

“You don’t seem too happy right now mister hero. My name’s Leiko..and if you want..I could help take away your troubles.” She offered with a smile as she leaned forward, making sure to expose a little more cleavage than necessary.

“My wife is better than just some quick fuck, so no thanks.” Bakugou said, still not taking his eyes off her, trying to scare her away with a glare that unfortunately she only smirked at.

“Who said I was trying to fuck? Why don’t you talk to me? Vent. Rant. It won’t get your mind off of your wife but it will help clear your head.” She said.

“And why the hell do you think I’m having issues with my wife?!” He asked with a tense voice.

“I walked over here and you were staring down at pictures of her on your phone. Miss H/N is beautiful. You’re a very lucky man.” Leiko said, playing the role of a snake perfectly.

“…I am..” Bakugou agreed before swallowing a gulp. “I’m Uh…I’m not having issues with her or anything. And we’re not fighting either. She’s just..been in the hospital recovering from a battle..I just miss her…”

He didn’t know whether it was the alcohol or if Leiko was just that good at pretending to be nice or both, but for whatever reason she made it easy to clear his mind. She listened well, never putting any input in. She let him speak freely and only spoke up when he looked at her in expectance to. In the moment..she was being a good friend. She allowed him to vent all he wanted about you, about how much he missed you and loves you. And by the end of the night, Katsuki could feel his chest feel a little lighter.

They didn’t sleep together but Leiko left an impression on his drunk self for sure. Maybe even him as a person. He’d remember her as ‘that one nice lady from the club.’ But that was until a few days later when she reached out to him on social media. Leiko was a perfect snake. Knowing exactly what she wanted and exactly how to get it. They spoke for some time online, casual conversations. Most times, it was Leiko asking about you and if you were okay. This went on for some time until their conversations changed. Leiko casually threw in a little flirt every now and then, Katsuki saw and held no reply for it, but didn’t stop her from doing so. Leiko seemed like a good friend. A good way to air out his emotions and issues. So despite her pushy and flirtatious nature, he kept her around. Solely as a friend.

Soon enough, Leiko offered to meet in person once more. At the same club they first met in. ‘Why not?’ Katsuki thought. He had nothing else to do. And so he went. Then he went again. And again. And again. The two became ‘friends’ and Katsuki even brought her back into your shared home where they shared even more drinks. Eventually, the use of marijuana came into play and now the two were cross faded. At least one of them was. Leiko was smart and sneaky. She took less drinks, didn’t inhale the smoke, and basically remained sober. She was in complete control, unlike the blonde hero who sat on the couch beside her. He was now upset and hurt as he thought about you.

“I-..I just miss her so damn much..it fucking hurts at this point.” He said with a whimper in his voice. Being so vulnerable, Leiko took her chance and slid in.

“Well..there’s always one way to take your mind off of harsh things like this.” She softly said with a hand in his lap. She leaned in and Bakugou made no move to stop her and allowed her to continue. She pressed his lips against his and despite it not being reciprocated the first time, she still pushed with it. Katsuki didn’t enjoy it all that much or at all. It was different, it was new, it wasn’t you. It didn’t feel like home. Her lips weren’t soft, they weren’t as plump, they didn’t have the same sweet and addicting taste you did but in a way..Katsuki felt it was what he needed. Her kiss wasn’t like yours. In fact, it was the complete opposite and he hated it. But it didn’t resemble you. When Leiko kissed him, it didn’t remind him of you, and that’s what he thought he needed. So despite not liking the kiss, when she pulled away, he pulled her back. Eventually the kiss grew more intense until it was brought to the bedroom where their night continued in a more sinful manner.

That morning, Katsuki made Leiko leave, angered at what she tricked him into and ashamed of his betrayal. How could he do that to you?! His love of over a decade! When Leiko was gone, Katsuki allowed himself to break down his walls and cry. He cried so hard that morning, more than he’s ever cried before. That morning made him realize his third regret.

Leiko and Katsuki never spoke again..until some days later when Katsuki allowed himself to become extremely drunk once more. He fell into his obsessive thoughts of you and felt the pain come again. Wanting to erase the hurt, he reached out to Leiko and asked her to come over and distract him again. He needed to feel something that wasn’t you. And so Leiko happily went over that night. And a few more nights because Katsuki felt the pain again for a few more nights. As Leiko kept going, she noticed the house loss more and more touches of you. Katsuki flipped his pictures of you in his bedroom so that they wouldn’t see his nights of betrayal and he moved his clothes out of your shared closet so he wouldn’t be reminded and hit with your addicting scent that lingered on your clothes. Leiko smiled, feeling like a victor as Katsuki slept beside her in your bed on your side. The two would have quite a surprise in the morning.

—

Katsuki was awake and was still feeling the shame. He didn’t like sleeping around with Leiko but he liked the way it distracted him from his painful thoughts of you. Every morning after a night spent with her was the same. The two would wake up, she would put on one of his shirts despite his protests and get ready in his bathroom as he sat in the living room downstairs. But this morning had a little surprise twist.

As Katsuki sat in the living room with his head down, the doorbell rung. Growling in annoyance at one of his friends’ presence, he reluctantly went to open the door with a sour mood. “WHAT?!”

“Umm, excuse me. Who the fuck do you think you are talking to your wife like that?” You asked with attitude. As Katsuki adjusted his eyes to the light and his ears caught the sound of his favorite song, his eyes widened and his smile rose.

“Y-Y/N?” He asked in complete shock. He saw you alive, healthy, smiling, looking naturally beautiful right in front of him.

“Missed me, Suki?” You asked with a giggle. Bakugou pushed the door open to pull you in for the tightest hug as he lifted you off the ground.

“YOU’RE BACK!” He cried out. He held you tight and shut the door with his foot as he dropped onto the couch with you on top of him. He held you close to him as he cried into your neck. “You’re really back! Fuck- I missed you so much Y/N! I fucking love you- I’ve been a mess without you..shit!”

His tears were everlasting as they fell from his ruby eyes that you missed so much. You smiled as you wiped them away with your thumbs and the soft touch he’s craved and missed so much. You pecked his nose to calm him down as you allowed your hands to get lost in his blonde hair. “Hey, hey, it’s okay. I’m here, Suki. I’m back.”

Katsuki still held tears in his eyes and was shaking in happiness as you remained oh so close, giving him the warmth he needed after so many months. “Tell me you love me, Y/N.”

“I love you Bakugou Katsuki.” You happily said. Your husband teared up once more, so happy he was able to hear those words from you again, before pulling you in for a passionate kiss. A kiss that brought him back to life. He took in your scent and the way you tasted illegally sweet. He let his hands roam your body in a loving way until they found way into your soft H/C locks, trying to bring your head closer to his despite your lips already being in contact. You pulled away with him chasing after your lips, needing to push him back a little to allow yourself to breath. “Relax Suki.”

He scoffed at that. “Relax? I just got you back, you’re not calling the shots today princess, that’s all me.”

You both have a little laugh as you tucked in to cuddle for a small time. He missed this. This is what he needed. This is what he’s been dying for. To have you back in his arms, alive, healthy, and present. He needed this for so long and now that he has it, he feels whole again. After spending some cuddle minutes on the couch, you rose up in need for a glass of water. As you tried to walk away, Katsuki tugged on your arm to try and bring you back to him, only to have you calm him down. “I’m just getting some water, Suki.”

He reluctantly let you go, allowing himself to smile like an idiot, glad to be around you again. As you searched for a glass in the cabin, that’s when Bakugou detected the sound of someone turning the shower off. And that’s when his eyes popped. His betrayal to you. The multiple times he betrayed your love and literal proof of it standing in his shared home with you. That’s when he began to silently panic. You were gonna find out. You were gonna find out he had been acting like a sleeze behind your back and you were gonna be pissed. Heartbroken. Downright furious and you had every right to be, but Katsuki wouldn’t allow it. He knew once you found out, you would leave again. But you can’t leave! He just got you back! You’re not allowed to leave when you finally came back to him. He’s finally happy again because you’re back! You can’t leave now!

“Hey, Baby, don’t you wanna see your friends?” Katsuki asked as he walked over to you. You had finished your glass and placed it down on the island when your husband came over asking an absurd question.

“Suki, they were all there when I left the hospital. They were the ones who bought me these new clothes. Aren’t they cute?” You asked with the smile he loved oh so much.

“Uh- yeah, yeah they look amazing on you Teddy Bear. Umm..if they were all with you, why didn’t they tell me you were coming back home?” He asked as you wrapped your arms around his neck and his went right to home on your waist.

“I wanted to surprise you!” You giggled. “How’d I do?”

“Really fucking good, you little dumbass. But why don’t we get some fresh air? Yeah?” He said as he tried pulling you to the door.

“What why? I was just out there.” You said as you stopped in your tracks. “Besides, I heard you didn’t visit me much in the hospital ya’ big meanie. I wanna spend as much time with you as I can.”

“I was gone because I couldn’t stand to see you like that, baby.” He said with a whimper.

“Yeah I figured. Which is why I’m not too mad, but you still gotta make it up to me with cuddles, so let’s go!” You said and tried pulling him in the direction of your bedroom but he planted his feet into the ground.

“We can still spend time together outside the house, Teddy Bear,” Katsuki said enthusiastically, trying to keep you away from the room that for sure reeked of sex and held scattered clothes of his own and another woman’s.

“But I want to spend time at home with you,” you pouted. Bakugou felt his heart melt at the cute face you pulled and brought you closer to him.

“I know, I wanna spend time with you too but I’ve been in the house for so long, I think I need to get out of here.” The blonde said while being aware and on the lookout for Leiko.

“Well I’ve been out of the house for so long and I know I need to be in it. Besides, as your previously injured wife, what I say goes.” You said with sass and a smile. Katsuki laughed, loving your little attitude but still worried of what you may find out.

“Baby please, can we just go?” He begged as he held your soft hands in his.

“Why are you so adamant on leaving, Suki?” You asked

“That’s because he doesn’t want you to find out about me.”

Your body jumped at the sound of a new voice and you looked at Katsuki’s face, noticing it scrunching in fear, before you turned around to find another woman wearing nothing but Katsuki’s shirt. The same shirt you’ve worn a thousand times over. You could feel your heart clenching in pain but you stood your ground no less.

“Who are you?” You asked as you dropped your hands from your husband’s. You heard his little whine at the loss of your touch as he reached out to hold into your arm but you gently pushed him off.

“Y/N-“

“Oh come on, H/N. Don’t be in denial. I bet you already have an exact idea on who I am.” Leiko said with a smirk as she looked at you. You turned to your husband with raised brows and a face of anger as you glared at him. You looked back at her and bit your lip before smiling.

“Were you in it for the long haul?” You asked Leiko, wondering if she really wanted Katsuki or if she was just getting pleasure out of this.

“Definitely not. I just came for a quick fuck every now and then. Wanted to get a feel of what it was like getting dicked down by a big shot pro-hero.” She said casually.

“Did you know he was married?” You asked.

“Yeah but he didn’t seem to care so neither did I.” She said. This made your blood boil a bit and you wanted to cry so damn bad, but you refused to allow your whore of a husband and this stranger to see you break. You huffed before smiling again.

“You can take your leave now.” You kindly said. Leiko looked at you in confusion.

“You’re not mad?” She asked. Katsuki had the same thought running through his mind as his heart raced at this conversation happening right here right now.

“Oh I’m furious. But am I really supposed to be mad at some stranger who’s content with being a home wrecker? ‘Cuz I feel like most of my anger should be directed to the man-whore behind me.” You said, never looking Katsuki’s way.

“Y/N, please-“

“I’m not speaking to you yet.” You said calmly, still not looking at him. You didn’t have to turn around to know there were tears in your husband’s eyes. Leiko smiled before standing a little taller.

“Well then, I’ll be taking my leave,” she said and took off the big shirt and throwing it onto the couch, leaving herself in her underwear. “Am I expected to be back for another visit?”

“You can come back as many times as Katsuki asks. As far as I’m concerned, he’s a single man again.” You said with a laugh.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Katsuki asked with a break in his voice. Leiko laughed too before nodding and walking back to the bedroom and gathering her things. You walked silently to sit on the couch with Katsuki following you. “Y/N, what the fuck do you mean I’m single. I’m still your husband!”

You remained silent as you looked at him with a sarcastic smile. You said nothing as you waited for Leiko to return. “Say something!”

Finally, Leiko walked down the stairs, fully dressed, and looked to you before taking her leave. You smiled at her before speaking. “So..I don’t want him anymore. Do you?”

“No I’m good. Anybody’s good for a fuck but I don’t date cheaters.” Leiko said with her hand on the knob.

“I’m not a fucking cheater!” Katsuki shouted at her as he had tears dripping down his face. She gave him a dry laugh before opening the door.

“Take a look around Bakugou. You’re not a cheater?” She asked before walking out and shutting the door, leaving the two of you in the broken home. Silence passed and all that could be heard was Katsuki’s shaky breath. You then stood up, gaining his attention, and tried walking to your bedroom before Katsuki stopped you by holding onto your arm. Tight.

“Where the fuck are you going, Y/N?” He asked as he cried angrily. You tried to shake him off of you to no avail.

“I’m leaving you fucking idiot. If you haven’t noticed, you cheated. You were disloyal. You allowed some stranger into our home, into our bed, just to get your dick wet.” You said with an angry but calm tone.

“She wasn’t a stranger.” Bakugou said trying to defend himself. You laughed and stepped to face him.

“Oh really? Tell me one damn thing you know about her.” You asked. As Katsuki thought about it..he really didn’t know anything about her. Fuck- he didn’t even know her family name. All he knew was that her name was Leiko. They were speaking for a month and in that entire month, Katsuki only ever talked about himself. She never gave up any information about herself. All she wanted to do was get to know Katsuki and get in his pants. She really was a stranger and he just tossed away his entire relationship for some whore. His silence gave you your answer. “That’s what I thought.”

You tried walking away again before he ran to stand in front of you. “Y/N! Please! Just listen, okay? I was depressed because you were gone!”

“And that’s your excuse for cheating on me?!” You shouted.

“No! But- but it hurt me to even think about you in that hospital bed! I couldn’t even face you without feeling like I was dying! And then that fucking snake came and she distracted me and kept my thoughts away from you. She kept the pain away. I know that that’s not excuse for what I did but please try to understand why I did it!” He begged as he cried.

“I will never understand! Because I could never do what you did! If you were in the hospital, close to death, I would’ve been by your side every second of every day! Yes I would’ve felt all the pain and depression you did but I wouldn’t want to distract myself from it! Because at least then I would be thinking about you, and worrying about you, and caring about you, and loving you because you’re my husband Katsuki! I wouldn’t ever want to not think about you!” You shouted in anger and hurt as you allowed a few tears to fall. This urged Katsuki to cup your face in his hands and wipe away your tears.

“I’m so sorry, baby. Please, can we just move pass this? Please.” He said softly as he pressed his forehead to your own before you shoved him off.

“Get away from me!” You shouted, breaking his heart as he stumbled back. “After everything we’ve been through, you go and do this to me?! AFTER EVERYTHING?!”

“IM SORRY! PLEASE! I CAN’T TAKE BACK WHAT I DID BUT YOU HAVE TO FORGIVE ME!” He shouted back.

“WHO THE FUCK SAYS I HAVE TO FORGIVE YOU, BAKUGOU?!” You said, emphasizing the use of his family name. The name that you also held.

“Don’t call me that, baby, please.” He whimpered.

“DON’T FUCKING CALL ME THAT BAKUGOU! WE’RE DONE!” You shouted and walked away to your room with him following you. He kept spewing apologies up until you opened the bedroom door. It was a horrible mess and the stench of sex filled the air. You covered your mouth and nose as tears pricked your eyes before walking in to open your closet, disappointed as you noticed all the pictures of you two were flipped to be hidden. When you opened the doors, you didn’t find your clothes. “Where the fuck is my stuff, Bakugou.”

“I’m not telling you because you’re not leaving me, Y/N!” He said as he tried to hug you from behind before you pushed him off again.

“I’m not staying here! Tell me where my stuff is so I can leave!” You demanded.

“Like hell I will! We haven’t even had a full talk about this! You can’t just leave!” He said. You watched as tears fell down his face which only made you even more angry. He was crying? He did this! This is all his fault! How can he be the one upset?! “Y/N please, I’ll get on my fucking knees and beg you to stay if it’s what it takes but you can’t go! We’ve been together for 13 years! 13! Even before UA-“

“And you threw all that away when you decided to sleep with someone else.” You said calmly. You walked out of the room in search for your clothes as he followed and continued to speak with sobs breaking apart his sentences.

“Y/N please! I- I can fix this! You don’t have to go! You can stay and we can be happy, just like we’ve always been! Just like we were a few minutes ago before that bitch walked in and ruined everything!” He cried making you turn around in a snap.

“She didn’t ruin anything Katsuki. When you allowed her to come into your life and into our home, that’s when you fucked up. You did this to us. You ruined everything.” You said before continuing your search.

“T-Tell me what you want Y/N! I’ll make it happen! I’ll do anything- I’ll give you the fucking world! As long as you stay!” He begged. You approached the guest room in silence and Bakugou grew frantic as he blocked you from going in. “Please- don’t.”

“All my stuff is in there, isn’t it?” You asked, already knowing the answer and only having it confirmed when he remained silent. “Get out of my way.”

Bakugou shook his head as he kept the door block as you tried to pry your way through. Growing frustrated, you used a small amount of your quirk to blast him through the door, having him groan in pain as he hit the floor and watched you find your clothes in the guest room closet. You began packing your things and Bakugou was quick to stand and take everything you put in your bag out. “Stop it!”

“No! You’re staying with me! You’re not leaving me Y/N- I won’t lose you again!” He said as he tossed your bag across the room. You watched it go and stood in disbelief at his childish antics.

“Heh, you know what? Whatever, keep all the clothes. Maybe you’ll gift it to the next girl you decide to bring back here.” You said with attitude.

“I’m not bringing anybody else through those doors! I ONLY WANT YOU Y/N!” He shouted.

“Doubtful. Keep it, burn it, regift it, I don’t care. With my salary I can buy myself a new wardrobe and a new apartment. Far. Away. From you.” You said and walked out of the room. As you tried to exit the house, Katsuki pulled you back into his arms as you struggled in his grip with your face smushed against his chest.

“Please! Please tell me what you want! I’ll do anything! I’ll buy you anything! We’ll do whatever you want- Y/N I’ll even quit my job! Just please don’t go! Please forgive me!” He cried before you harshly pushed him off to reveal your sobbing face.

“I WANT TO LEAVE! BECAUSE I DONT WANT THIS ANYMORE KATSUKI!” You shouted before wiping your eyes and bringing your voice down. “I wanted my husband there with me at the hospital! I wanted him to be the first face that I saw when I woke up! But you couldn’t even give me that! Instead, you were in our home in our bed with some random person you found wherever having sex with her despite the fact that you’re a married man! …I was in a fucking hospital fighting for my life and my husband was too busy cheating on me, trying not to think about me…..I want to leave Katsuki.”

“….I can’t let you do that Y/N…I’m sorry. But I can’t do this without you.” He cried as you listed all his shortcomings. “I’ll give you whatever-“

“I don’t want material things!” You shouted in exhaustion. “I wanted your loyalty and love!”

“And you have that!”

“We wouldn’t be in this situation if I did!” You said. “I’m leaving, Katsuki. And not you or anybody else in this fucking world is going to stop me. If you try and trap me here I will break down these walls myself and get out. If you force me to stay I will do whatever it takes to get away from you. I’m not staying with you. So we’re done. And we’re getting a divorce, whether you like it or not.”

As you walked to the door you could hear his heart breaking cries as you opened the exit. “Y/N please. I don’t want this, I waited months for you to come home to me…I need you.”

“When are you gonna realize Katsuki? This is your fault. You did this to us.”

And with that, you shut the door on the house, the home, the relationship, and him. And it was all his fault.

A/N: Y’all ima be writing a part 2 for this so stay tuned

Tag list: @sxcker4you @aomi04 @tessabrown101 @ebiharachan @is-this-ash @iris-shihabi @sxturn-stars @isolight @lanantoine @whatdidshesayyy @kiranogareru

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neptune-midheaven · 4 years ago

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💓 Astro Notes PT 4 ! 💓

+i’m back!! i’ll be posting more ever since school ended for me recently, expect a lot more posts going in-depth about each placement!! thank u all so much for being patient, love to you all <33. enjoy these highly generalized observations haha+

*Having your chart ruler in the social houses, 1st, 7th, 10TH, 11TH, sometimes 3rd is a sign of popularity, someone who works well with people, people naturally liking them, seeing them as friendly people, the planet of the chart ruler just affects the exact energy, how it’s expressed what they’re popularrr FOR. Even if it’s pluto the person will still be a magnetic and intense influence in this area.

*Moon-uranus aspects can become addicted to their phones or the internet as the person emotionally depends on technology, it’s more exemplified with the harsher, tighter aspects.

*It’s possible for aquarius and gemini venuses to identify as asexual, they’re more likely to prefer more mentally stimulating romances rather than sexual encounters, detached natures in their relationships can be the root for this. This is a highly generalized opinion however, it could manifest far differently for ANYONE.

*Pluto in 1st conjunct the ascendant creates intenseee people, they draw a lot of people to them, everyone has their attention.

*People who have part of fortune in their 8th house live a long life, they have luck with escaping death.

*Multiple capricorn placements and the risings especially are veeeinyy, skinny and bony.

*Jupiter in 10th have a reputation for being jolly, fun and extroverted, travels a lot, their careers have to do with the foreign and studies, they’re especially known for being very educated and big humanitarians.

*Moon in 10th, moon-midheaven is known for crying a lot in public, they’re seen having meltdowns, breakdowns or emotional outbursts now and then.

*Moon-neptune were very close to their mothers at a young age, they always cried when she wasn’t near them.

*Sun-neptune were close to their fathers as children, both of these neptune aspects are dependent on how positive or negative the aspect is, positive denotes positive relations, negative being a sign of abandonment or disconnect from one of the parents or both if the individual has both aspects.

*Moon in leo/5th hate when they can’t express themselves and their emotions.

*Pisces mercury/12th house mercury are more likely to develop speech impediments, stutters. There’s just something unique about how they communicate as well.

*Libra in 6th are lazyy planners, they meet a lot of love interests and get crushes at work.

*You’ll experience strong, irresistible attraction toward the sign ruling your 8th house cusp, almost telepathic. 7th house cusp is the energy of the partners whom you attract, date, fall in love with.

*Neptune/pisces in 11th have friends who try to introduce them to drugs, friends can be toxic, draining depending on the condition of neptune, sorry to taurus and some gemini risings.

*Venus in 10th/11th in a chart automatically makes the person an extrovert, a good social worker.

*How tf do i come up with these.

*Having your 9th house ruler in 5th makes traveling seem like a hobby, a fun activity to you to entertain yourself or something you enjoy. These people want to travel everyday. They’re also lovers of learning, they look for smart, educated partners.

*Having your 2nd house ruler in 9th house means a job that involves traveling, making money over seas.

*Cappy suns are huge huge HUGE social creatures. Or the complete opposite.

*Uranus in 11th can make new friends crazy fast due to uranus’ quick! energy, just like lightning. Online, they can gain followers the same way, but their numbers always fluctuate or become spontaneously unstable ex: follow:like ratio could be out of wack.

*Mars in 12th love playing violent video games, like gta for example.

*Uranus in 4th could have an unstable family life if negatively aspected, a stimulating and revolutionizing one if they’re positive.

*Libra moons feel emotionally satisfied once a tense situation is smoothed over or balanced out, imbalance or chaos puts them on edge.

*Pisces suns can never figure out who they truly are as a person because of so much exposure to so many different things, morphing and adapting changes them sm bc they’re so mutable.

*Aries moons can be seen as people pleasers similar to libra moons, however it’s only in a way that they truly care just like libra, they care passionately about the people they love. This doesn’t necessarily make them people pleasers of course!! It’s only an aries-libra parallel.

*Saturn in 9th have delays in getting their degrees, it’ll become easier for them to graduate college after their saturn return.

*Mercury in 4th//cancer have excellent memories, they often make fantastic historians, someone who can keep track of the past. Real estate, home business/ careers would best suit them. They also have lovely voices 😻.

*Mutable mercuries’ speaking style is highly influenced by others, they can adapt to the specific speaking styles of others, adapt to unique communication styles from other people.

*Aries rising produces the most red heads out of all of the rising signs, next being leo.

*12th house stellium people feel so... watery

*Youll feel more empathetic and connected to those who share your moon sign or 12th house placements, any placement at all as you of course can be nice, understanding and a bit empathetic, however these two are far more potent and unifying.

*Aquarius placements mean you don’t take whatever planet is in this sign or house this sign rules seriously, it creates a sense of detachment from that area or part of your life.

*Contrary to belief, fires moons are more empathetic than water moons.

*Mercury in 12th people, i love y’all so much ughhh, you’re so sweet and gooeyy, ur ideas and mind are so important and gorgeous. Very artistic and soft minds, fragile thoughts that need to be encouraged by others closest to them. They’re usually very smart and especially talented and creative.

*Water moons have THE prettiest eyes, all of them are just gems swirling with colorful, vibrant soul.

*Moon conjunct ascendant can have their moods being visibly shown on their faces or expressions.

*Scorpio moons are intense but very attractive, it’s hard to keep your eyes off of them and their compelling auras.

*Libra risings can experience getting ignored in group settings. Virgo in 12th could promote this as they’re always hard working behind the scenes it’s almost neglected.

*Aquarius risings have this cute, quirky vibe about them which makes you want to be friends with them.

*Your moon in someone else’s 11th house is indicative of the house person feeling as though they can open up to you, that you two understand one another completely. It’s a very open minded and comforting synastry emotionally.

#libra #cancer #leo #virgo #scorpio #capricorn #aquarius #pisces #taurus #gemini #aries #sagittarius #astro notes #astrologyobservations #astrology

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stilldancewithyou · 2 years ago

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I don’t know if this is unpopular because i don’t really mind but i think changing when belly reciprocates any romantic feelings towards jere, kind of changes the whole story. I wonder if they’re going to have her go back and forth more in the show and be more conflicted through out than she was in the books. I never felt like she was ping ponging back and forth between them in the books. It seems they’re going to go down a more vampire diaries road with the show. I’m not really bothered by it, i loved the show but i am curious how they’re going to play that out on screen.

Yeah, this is one of the things that bothered me most about the show. Everything else followed the story and felt like an extension of the book, but her reciprocating Jere's feelings, or at least saying she kinda does, really changed the energy of the story. I think the conversation where he admits his feelings should have stayed the way it was in the books, with her being like uhh i don't really think of you that way and him being kinda angry and saying "it's always Conrad" and them not kissing at that point would have been better, then they could have had a kiss in the car maybe. It just made the storyline too messy and made Belly seem like a bad person. In the 1st book she kinda ping ponged between Cam and Conrad, but with Cam she tried to be focused on him and when she realized he wasn't it, she was honest with him and went after Conrad, cause she knew she wanted him. But with Jeremiah and Conrad she really did try hard to focus on the person she was with and to really fully choose them. She definitely didn't have as much back and forth. Her telling Steven she chooses Jeremiah just felt weird and out of place. she should've just said "you don't get to decide who I date, whoever I choose, Jere or Conrad, it's up to me" making her so decisive didn't make sense to me so soon. If that's how Steven reacted to Jere and Belly I CANNOT wait to see his reaction to Belly and Conrad lol

It's going to be very interesting to see season 2 play out because her having already made out with Jeremiah will really change the energy of the story and I think it'll make it extra angsty and tense because we already know and Belly already knows they both like her. The other interesting thing will be how they handle Jeremiah finding out she chose Conrad cause she kind of did him dirty and got his hopes up for nothing.

Another thing is they really took the entire series and told the WHOLE story in season 1 in a way. there's bits and scenes and dialogue from the 2nd and 3rd book in it. I know it's because Jenny wanted to tell the whole story for fans in case it didn't get renewed but it's going to make the energy and feeling of some of the later scenes a little different- like the shock of finding out the infinity necklace was the birthday present he supposedly forgot at the end of the 3rd book. I loved the show and I'm super excited to see how they bring the rest of the books to life. I'm REALLY hoping they don't change the other 2 books that much, even with the changes they made and things that came in early, I think they can still do the rest of the series justice. I also feel like they really wanted to exaggerate both ships for advertising purposes and getting the fans excited and talking. If she didn't have as much romantic moments with Jere in the first season they'd kind of be spoiling the rest of it by trying to get people to be on team Jeremiah.

#tsitp spoilers #the summer i turned pretty spoilers #tsitp #the summer i turned pretty #it's not summer without you #we'll always have summer #belly conklin #conrad fisher #jeremiah fisher #ask #answered #tsitp ask

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britswriting · 3 years ago

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Unbroken (24)

Unbroken Masterlist

Read on Wattpad

Warning: This chapter jumps around a little bit, like changing scene wise, because it's deleted scenes from chapter 21, along with the deleted date night scene from deleted chapter 22.

They're a part of the storyline, and needed right now, but it's a little "choppy" due to taking out what originally happened between Leigh & Colby that I deleted and rewrote. I didn't want to rewrite these scenes over again, when they are already how they should be.. sorry lol

*Leighton's POV*

The date today is June 3rd and I am almost 14 weeks pregnant, and I was honestly starting to understand why everyone complained during pregnancy.

I had gotten even more "symptoms" so that was fun and totally not a pain in my ass at all.

I had a date tonight, and I was honestly feeling extremely nervous, especially since I had gotten these amazing new symptoms.

Not to mention that I had a real bump now.

It was honestly hella cute, and I loved looking at it whenever I could.

One morning I just woke up with a b u m p. Like it wasn't some pudgy little bloating, but it had actual form to it.

It didn't change in size like it used to, unlike how when Colby saw my bump after I drank all that water and it was mostly bloating. It stayed its shape and was starting to round out quite a bit which was cool.

I've started getting round ligament pains which has been fun. What that means is the sides of my belly like to hurt because my womb is expanding to fit my little baby. I've also started getting some pretty intense headaches. My boobs were still sore as fuck and I've just accepted that I'll be spending 9 months of my life with boob pain, and then whatever happens when the baby is born.

My boobs have definitely grown, which meant I needed to buy more bras. Definitely something a broke bitch wants to do, right?

My pants were also starting to get tight which did not at all help my body image issue at the moment, or my bank account.

I was extremely nervous as to what the third trimester was going to be like, if I ALREADY had to go buy new jeans.

I figured I would be one of the women who's milk comes in before the baby is here, and I was conflicted if I was looking forward to that.

I read that your colostrum can start coming in as early as 16 weeks, which meant I needed to invest in a pump pretty soon if that was the case.

I also needed to figure out if I wanted to freeze my breast milk or donate it, if it did in fact come in early.

Surely I won't need MONTHS in advance of saved breast milk before the baby even gets here, right?

I knew I needed to keep the colostrum for when the baby was born, but I wouldn't need all that extra milk, right?

Another cute perk of pregnancy, is it ruins your underwear. Which meant I lived in period underwear, only adding to my body image issues.

Nothing says sexy like period underwear.

You thought period discharge was bad? Wait till you're pregnant.

I wasn't even sure what I was going to wear on this date tonight. I didn't want to ruin my nice cute underwear all because being pregnant is a bitch, but also didn't want to show up to my date wearing granny panties.

I kept hearing how wonderful pregnancy was, and so far it wasn't bad. Nothing insane has happened, just slight inconveniences to my life. When I was 13 weeks pregnant, when the discharge had started, I had a mental breakdown in the bathroom thinking I was bleeding, my brain telling me I lost the baby, when in reality I had a gush of discharge leave my body.

I was still emotional, but it wasn't as bad as it was in the first trimester. I felt a little more like myself. I was still taking my iron medication and working on lowering my blood pressure.

I now had a reminder alarm for each morning to take so many vitamins, because another thing no one told me about.

You don't just take prenatal vitamins. I swear my bedroom is a walking pharmacy.

I was laying in bed last night after I had finished texting Aaliyah and googled what was going on with my baby and it only led to crying.

I wanted to know before I wrote in my baby journal, but I hadn't even gotten to open the journal before my eyesight was completely blurred.

My baby was growing hair on its head, eyelashes and eyebrows. It was gaining more of an identity and the idea of all of this going on whilst I was laying in bed made me very overwhelmed.

So much was happening without me even knowing it. The idea of just a tiny little baby growing eyebrows inside my stomach whilst I cried on the couch or ate a brownie in the kitchen was quite the weird feeling.

You honestly feel pretty insignificant once you kind of just sit there and think about how much is going on inside your stomach whilst you're lounging on the couch watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians.

I was currently at my parents house, waiting for my brownies to finish baking in the oven, before I was going to go over to Gabriel's apartment so we could talk about the baby, and what we were going to do.

I was working really hard on the art piece for Sam and Colby, along with making sure the house stayed in order whilst my mom was recovering.

She's gotten a lot better recently, but brain surgery recovery is no joke.

It sucks watching her suffer, but it's nice to know she's at least getting better, and will hopefully be back to the woman I used to know.

I haven't seen Gabe in a while, and we only texted a few times which made this whole situation a lot harder.

I knew he really was trying, and that he was super busy with work.. it just sucked to know I couldn't roll over and snuggle him in the middle of the night or bitch to him at 3am when I was in too much pain to sleep.

Aaliyah and River had come over last week to help me figure out a plan to keep this baby, because every time I thought about giving away my little baby, I felt my heart get torn apart, so I knew I couldn't. Which meant it was game time.

I needed to figure this out, and I needed to figure it out now.

River suggested opening up an art shop, but I didn't feel like handling the stress of managing the orders, and the business pages, but I still needed a job which meant we were back to the drawing board.

No pun intended.

After a couple hours of going through things I could do whilst pregnant, my dad suggested a teaching job, but there was only one problem, most teaching jobs need a college diploma, which I didn't have.

My dad and I spent a while looking online for teaching jobs, and we came across one for a High School part time art teacher, which sounded too good to be true.

It wasn't too far from Sam and Colby's house, it fit my hours for Target, and it didn't seem like it would be insanely stressful to where it would be bad for my blood pressure.

We looked more into it, and I submitted my resumé and artwork to them, hoping to God they wouldn't want a diploma, or I was screwed.

Target paid okay, but it definitely wasn't enough to support my bills and a baby.

I would be lying if I told you I wasn't getting nervous as to what I was going to do when I was too pregnant to work, but since I was under so much stress right now, I figured that was an issue for another day.

I jumped when the oven beeped, taking out the freshly baked brownies when my brother's boyfriend walked into the kitchen.

"Those smell good Leigh!" Braxton complimented and I thanked him, setting them down to cool.

"I'm not a good baker, but I'm good enough to fulfill my cravings. This baby is going to make me gain weight like nobody's business" I laughed, touching my very prominent little bump.

"It's good to gain weight when you're pregnant Leigh. You're growing a baby" Landon reminded me, and I knew it was because of my pizza night meltdown, but I chose to ignore that.

I had finally figured out what I wanted to do for the birth of my baby, which was exciting. I watched a lot of videos of people's Storytime videos and what they went through. I would be lying if I told you I wasn't insanely nervous to talk to Gabe about what I had decided. I really wasn't looking for another fight, so I hoped he'd just trust me and go with the flow, but knowing him, that would be far from the truth.

We had talked over the phone about the adoption idea, and he was completely against it. So I guess that all worked out since I wanted to keep this baby anyway, I just needed to figure out how I was going to do that financially.

He also said I needed to remember about the income I'd also be getting from him to help pay for the baby. I knew his income would be helpful, but definitely not enough. I honestly did keep forgetting that he is a part of this baby's life since he hasn't been very active in the pregnancy. I haven't even considered that I would be getting a portion of income for this baby from him. I was kind of stuck on the idea of doing it all alone and it was all I could think about. I was trying really hard to remember that he was also working, plus he had a fresh new relationship to care for.

Like a flower. He had to water it, give it sunlight and I just prayed he didn't fertilize it too.

I wanted to rip his flower apart, but I knew I had to be a grown up about it, but that didn't stop me crying about it at 1am every night when I felt lonely and stressed.

Speaking of being lonely, I haven't heard from Aryia, and honestly, I didn't want to. It was a mistake, and I knew it shouldn't've happened. I was horny as fuck, but I should've used better judgment, and I wish I could take it all back.

I knew I had really hurt Colby, even if he wouldn't admit it to me. I was honestly just tired of unintentionally hurting him. I wanted to be his friend, but all I managed to do was disappoint him. It felt like every time I tried to take a step in the right direction, I was just one step closer to falling off the cliff, or maybe even being pushed off.

It was the same exact feeling I felt in High School, and I had no idea how to fix it, let alone where to even start. My old way of coping was to smoke and do drugs, but I couldn't exactly do that now that I was pregnant.

I'd be lying if I told you that the past few weeks, I haven't been insanely nervous that I will be kicked out. I knew Colby said he forgave me, and has even hung out with me and been super helpful for Landon... but that didn't change the fact that I still think he has hurt feelings over the whole being lied to situation.

Yeah Colby and I have been on good terms, but that doesn't take away the fact that we were both avoiding having a super in depth conversation again of what had happened.

Every time I tried to, he seemed to not want to talk about it. I honestly just wanted to clear the air, but it seemed like he just wanted to forget about it.

I just didn't want to just throw another Skelton into my closet, because at some point it will come tumbling out and be blown up in my face, yet again.

I was currently apartment hunting alongside job hunting, but I haven't told Sam and Colby that.

I had no intentions of moving out right now, but I at least needed this stuff on my radar the closer I got to giving birth to this baby. I didn't want to bring my baby home for the first time into my roommates house. I had already inconvenienced their life enough as it is, I didn't want to add a baby on top of that.

One of the issues I was running into was a lot of places wanted a record of your work in the sense to make sure you could afford rent and most places wanted you to be working somewhere for two years to even consider you as a renter, which made things a lot harder.

It doesn't help that living in LA made everything insanely expensive and I'd be lying if I told you that I didn't have fleeting thoughts about moving back home to Minnesota.

At least their rent would be a lot cheaper for a lot nicer of a place.

I would also be lying to you if I told you I didn't have a plan to tour some places I had found in Minnesota when I was going to visit my Aunt and Uncle.

I wanted to figure out what my best option was for my price range, and what place would give my baby the best chance of growing up with a good life.

"Leigh, when are you leaving?" I heard Landon ask, watching him wrap his arms around his boyfriend, hugging him from behind.

"Um.. shit I should've left five minutes ago!" I yelled, quickly grabbing a lunch baggie and shoving two brownies into it.

"BEING PREGNANT IS A PAIN WHEN YOU NEED TO LEAVE! I WANT TO EAT THESE BROWNIES BUT I NEED TO PEE!" I yelled, setting the baggie down and going to the bathroom.

That was one thing I was looking forward to being over with. Using the bathroom so often.

I couldn't leave the house without using the bathroom, and the inconvenience was extremely aggravating.

I have at least learned I have to pee less the less I move around, which gave me another excuse to lounge on the couch whenever I could.

I was convinced I was having to pee more than I should be at 15 weeks, but what I learned is it doesn't matter how far along you are as much as it does where the baby is sitting. I also thought I had a UTI, which is common when you're pregnant, but I went in and was all cleared, so basically I just get to suffer by almost peeing my pants every day.

When I arrived outside of Gabe's door, I could feel my heart race out of anticipation for the conversation that was ahead of me.

I slowly knocked on the door, holding my breath as I heard the click and watched it open.

"Hey, how are you?" Gabe asked, hugging me.

"I've been better. I'm warning you now, I will be leaving in a hurry to pee very often" I grumbled, wishing my baby would move. Worst case it was my uterus's fault for growing, but I was trying not to think about having this problem, this bad, for so long.

I had googled ways to move your baby, but none of the positions had worked so far, which only made me feel frustrated and disappointed.

Gabe and I had small talk for a little bit, trying to figure out how to bring up the topic of the birth.

I knew it was inevitable, but I was still afraid. I decided to bite the bullet and just go for it, hoping it didn't bite me in the ass later. "So... I was thinking about the birth" I trailed off and he tilted his head, shifting his seating position.

"What about it?"

"I don't think I want a hospital birth" I spoke quickly, not wanting to chicken out.

"WHAT?! What do you mean you don't want a hospital birth! What, are you just going to have our child on the fucking floor?!" He yelled, startling me.

"Why are you yelling?"

"YOU'RE TALKING CRAZY! A hospital is the safest place for a baby to be born!" He exclaimed.

"I understand that, but research shows that home births are just as safe. Yes, there is fear of complication, but if I die I'd rather die in my own home"

"Okay but if our baby dies because you wanted a home birth, do you know how we would both feel?!" He shouted and I could hear in his voice how blind sided he was, making me feel bad.

"Don't say that" I whispered, tears welling up in my eyes at the idea of my baby dying.

"THAT IS REALISTIC LEIGHTON! THE BABY COULD DIE! A hospital birth is the safest for the baby!"

He made me feel extremely guilty now, like I was a horrible mother just by making this one decision on my own.

"THE BABY COULD DIE AT THE HOSPITAL TOO! Can we stop talking about our baby dying please?!" I sobbed, unwanted visuals filling my thoughts.

Gabe sighed, running his hands over his face in frustration. "Why do you want an at home birth?" he asked, sitting back down.

"I can have a home birth, a hospital birth or there are birthing centers" I told him, feeling anxiety creep up.

"Why would you want to put not only yourself, but your baby at risk like that? We both know the hospital is the safest route! Why would you want to pick anything other than the safest for our baby?" He asked, sounding judgmental and I felt myself get defensive.

"I'm not! I understand that the hospital is the safest place to give birth in, but what about comfort? I don't want to be in a white room with beeping machines as I push around strangers, sharing our moment with people who don't care. I want to be able to have my baby without being stared at. Without feeling like a science experiment! I don't want to be a study! I want to be a mother!" I felt myself get choked up and I heard him sigh.

I knew what I meant to get across wasn't happening the way it was supposed to since I was extremely emotional right now, and certain pin points were sounding irrational, but I was feeling upset that he would accuse me of not wanting the best for my baby.

All I could think about is what was best. It's a thought that controlled me twenty four seven. If I wasn't thinking about what the best for my baby was, I would've done a lot of things differently.

"Okay, well let's talk about it. I'm sorry for yelling. You know where I stand, but I'm willing to hear you out as to why you want a home birth" He said and I nodded, taking a deep breath and wiping at my tears.

I got up quickly and blew my nose then peed before coming back, seeing Gabe was on his phone.

I rolled my eyes and sat back down.

"Really?" I asked and he looked up, his eyebrow furrowed.

"What?"

I shook my head and decided to let it go, getting comfy on the couch.

"I want to birth my baby in the comfort of my own home. My own space, people I trust. With people who have our best interest. I don't want to be in a bright sterile room with a million strangers. I did a lot of research. I'm not just having this idea out of the blue. Death rates are no lower at home than they are at a hospital. You have a trained midwife who is basically like an OBGYN, I'm not just popping out a baby on my own. They do the same process a hospital does Gabe. It's basically the same, just it's in our own space. I'm not saying this is a deciding factor for me, but it is a perk that it's cheaper. You don't rack up a hospital bill from staying. You don't have the drive home. You're already home. I give birth and go to bed in my own bed. The idea of being home, staying home, and having everything for the baby here, makes me feel a lot of comfort. Laying our baby in their bed right away, and not in a plastic bin... everything about a home birth sounds more humane. I know it sounds silly... but wouldn't you rather look at our newborn laying in their bed than in a plastic box on wheels?" I asked, wiping at my eyes.

"I understand why you think this way, but I'm thinking along the sides of, what if something goes wrong? I don't mean to get dark again, but what if the baby isn't breathing?"

Gabe bringing up the baby dying once again, made it extremely clear to me that this was one of his biggest fears. That he thought about this an awful lot to where it was clouding his thoughts, and opinions.

"We call 911" I said and he shook his head, seeming frustrated.

"What if it's too late? You don't have everything you need right down the hallway Leighton! I really don't think this is a good idea" He shook his head at me and I was feeling cornered.

It was my baby, my body, my decision.

He wasn't the one pushing a bowling ball out from his vagina.

Before I could reply, my emotions took over again and I just started crying, feeling extremely overwhelmed, having no idea what to do.

I came in with a plan, and I felt like it was being torn at the seams.

I completely understood where Gabe was coming from. His fears and concerns were extremely valid... but the idea of doing everything at home just seemed so peaceful and relaxing.

I felt like he didn't think I was afraid.

I was deathly afraid.

I felt like I was doing everything wrong twenty four seven.

Like no matter what decision I made, it was always incorrect.

I was the one who had to carry this baby for nine months, all by myself.

That's a pretty big ask, and to have someone think you're being reckless just feels like a kick in the balls.

I knew the hospital would be the safest, especially since it was my first baby, but something about a home birth just felt so magical.

Gabe and I did research on home birth versus hospital birth, talking about the risk, the logistics and what we would do if there was an emergency.

I tried really hard to hear his side of the story. Hear out his thoughts, and not let my impressions be clouded by me wanting to do the home birth, because I did understand his concerns. I had the same concerns, and I was trying really hard not to let my reasons make me mad at his.

"You're only thinking of the worst case scenario! What about the best case scenario? I'm comfortable, the baby is safe, we are in our own house-" I rambled and he shook his head, his hands clenching and unclenching repeatedly.

"Whose house is that going to be Leighton? Your new roommates?" He asked harshly and I frowned. "I live in an apartment, Leighton! I highly doubt you want to give birth in an apartment and you don't even live here anymore!"

"I don't want to give birth in their house. I don't want to inconvenience them" I sighed, taking three of my fingers and rubbing my eyelid, feeling overwhelmed, frustrated and tired.

"So then where do you plan to do this whole home birth thing? We don't have anywhere to do it. The hospital makes the most sense. I'm sorry if I sound like a jerk, but having a home birth sounds like a bad idea in many ways"

"What about a birthing center?" I asked and he groaned

"Leighton!"

"WHAT?!" I yelled, tiredness taking over my rational thinking and reactions.

"You're not listening to me" He shook his head, pacing in his living room.

"I AM LISTENING TO YOU! You're not listening to me! I completely agree with you if that was the worst case scenario, but what if it isn't?! What if we have this magical home birth and not one where our baby fucking dies?!" I yelled and he clenched his fists before unclenching them and shaking his hands out, putting them in his jean pockets.

"I understand the best case scenario, but you need to also go down that road of what if! A hospital has the best trained doctors to help the what if's! I love you and I hear you, but I don't think a home birth or birthing center is a good idea"

"But what about the best case scenario?" I fought and he rolled his eyes. "I don't want to do an epidural. I can't, so I don't need a hospital for that, which is really the only perk to going through the hospital" I informed him and Gabe shook his head.

"Leigh, this is going to hurt a lot. It's there to help you" He tried to explain but I shook my head.

"I know what a fucking epidural is dumbass. I don't care if it's going to help my pain, I don't want to start recovery again!" I shook my head and I stared at me.

"Leigh, you don't have to restart recovery. You're not taking it because you want to feel high and numb. You're taking it to push out a baby! That seems like a pretty valid reason to take a drug!"

"My body was made to do it naturally" I argued and he tilted his head, his eyes narrowing at me.

"And how many people in the 1800s survived labor? Huh?" He asked and I glared at him.

"That has nothing to do with the fucking epidural!" I yelled, feeling anger build up in my chest.

"Leighton, I love you but you need to think clearly. I'm not trying to bully you or pressure you into the hospital choice. I'm sorry if it's coming off like that, but all I can think about is the what if something went wrong and we aren't at a place that can help us immediately? What if the baby dies on the way to the hospital? I'm sorry for being so morbid, but I can't help it. Do you know how often I think about something happening to you or the baby? Do you know how badly it kills me that I'm not right by your side all the time? I don't regret breaking up, but I do regret having a baby when we aren't even together. It's so hard to know some other man is loving up on my ex-girlfriends or that her roommates know more about my baby then I do!"

"You're not even trying! You don't visit, or plan to hang out with me! You constantly miss appointments, you've barely shown interest!" I argued and he shook his head, sitting back down.

"I'm trying just as hard as you are to prepare for the future, which means I get to spend less time focused on the present. You have to know that as much as it kills you, it kills me. I would love to see my little baby boy or girl on the screen, to hear the heartbeat, or feel the baby kick, but that isn't realistic. Do you know how expensive it's going to be to not only pay child support, but also buy stuff to keep here. We have to buy two of everything!" He exclaimed and I pouted, forgetting he also has to care for this baby.

"Is there anything I can do?" I asked and he sighed, shaking his head.

"I'm sorry if you feel like I'm lacking in the baby daddy department, but I'm trying to figure everything out just as much as you are."

"I've looked into picking up another job as well" I decided to tell him, but before I knew it he was angry again.

"YOU SHOULDN'T BE WORKING THIS MUCH LEIGH! YOU'RE PREGNANT!"

"We need money, Gabe! You even said so yourself!"

"But you don't need a second job Leighton!"

"I DO! MY TARGET JOB AND YOUR CONSTRUCTION JOB ISN'T GOING TO SUPPORT OUR BABY! IF WE CAN'T SUPPORT OUR BABY, OUR BABY WILL BE TAKEN AWAY GABRIEL!"

"WHY DO YOU THINK I'M WORKING SO MUCH!? I know we need money! You're bitching at me that we don't have money and that I'm not doing enough for the baby, WHEN I'M TRYING. I'm sorry I can't be around you twenty four seven because I'm picking up more shifts at work and helping out where I can so you don't have to take the second job! It's not good for you to be on your feet that much, let alone be even more stressed than you already are! YOU'RE GOING TO KILL OUR BABY LEIGHTON!" Gabe yelled and my eyes widened, shaking my head and standing up to slip on my shoes.

"WHERE ARE YOU GOING!?" He shouted.

"HOME!" I yelled, grabbing my keys and slamming the door behind me.

"I'm so nervous!" I whined, a towel wrapped around my body, my hair dripping down my back.

"It's going to be fun Leigh!"

I was currently in my coworker's apartment, anxiety burning my insides alive.

"He's seen my picture right? Like I'm not going to show and he's gonna be grossed out right? He knows I'm pregnant?" I rambled and she laughed nodding.

"He knows you're pregnant. He's seen your picture. He knows you have tattoos. Can we get you ready now? He's going to be here in two hours" Aimée asked and I nodded.

I spent the rest of my afternoon with her, and now I was getting ready for my date tonight.

I tried to distance myself from Gabe and I's argument to have a good time tonight, but certain parts were still screaming at me in the back of my head, no matter how hard I tried to turn it off.

I dropped my towel and slid on a lace bra that was white and had pretty details on it, along with a white thong. I sighed when I looked at my thighs and ass, seeing the cellulite litter them.

What if he hated the cellulite on my thighs?

Was my ass too small?

"Your boobs look good in that bra" She said and I smiled, shaking my head. "You're wearing that white shirt dress I have right?" She asked and I nodded, remembering our conversation over text.

Sam, Colby and Jake were out visiting their friends' new place, which meant I was all alone. When Aimée learned this information, she decided now was the perfect time to get ready for the date.

She said we had the whole afternoon to get myself feeling like a million bucks, so I was holding her to it as she paid to get my nails done, including a pedicure.

I haven't had a pedicure in so long, that I swear I was going to orgasm from it.

I now understand why pregnant people love having their feet rubbed when they're in their third trimester.

I'm barely in the second, and it felt like pure heaven.

I had befriended a couple people from work, but I wouldn't say we were best friends or anything, but I could definitely see it happening. She was super nice to me on my first day of work and she's been by my side since.

"You have so much hair to play with! I miss this!" She laughed, brushing my hair out for me whilst I brushed my teeth

"The shaven look, looks so good though! I don't have the balls for that" I giggled and she grinned.

"I thought the same thing, and then I finally did it, and I've loved it since!"

Aimée had stunning dark skin that complimented her buzzed head and a couple pretty piercings. She also had a few tattoos, but no more than I had. Her clothing hugged her thicker body type that I was honestly envious of. I loved the way her jeans clung to her hips and the way her boobs looked in her tops.

When I was in High School, I had a weird body type that was basically thick and thin in all the wrong places. Now that I'm out of High School and pregnant, I'm kind of getting that body everyone wants, but it still looks weird in certain places. Now I had a bump which meant I didn't have that slim stomach everyone was looking for. I've never had a slim tummy, even at my lowest weight, so the hope for that has gone out the window.

We put on some music and got to work drying, and straightening my hair.

"HEY HEY YOU YOU I DON'T LIKE YOUR GIRLFRIEND" She shouted in the bathroom, laughing at ourselves in the mirror. "NO WAY NO WAY I THINK YOU NEED A NEW ONE!" We yelled at each other.

"You're so fine I want you mine you're so delicious" We practically moaned, our backs arching against each other as we used whatever we were holding as a microphone, laughing.

I grabbed the makeup to start prepping my face." I don't know how you don't have an Instagram" Aimée grumbled and I shrugged, knowing we already talked about this.

Aimée had a private Instagram and wanted me to follow her, which led to the somewhat dreadful conversation about how I didn't have any social media.

"HELL YEAH I'M THE MOTHERFUCKING PRINCESS!" We yelled and I saw she was filming making me laugh.

"SHE'S LIKE SO WHATEVER I THINK YOU CAN DO SO MUCH BETTER!" We jumped and I started laughing.

"SO COME OVER HERE AND TELL ME WHAT I WANT TO HEAR, BETTER YET MAKE THAT GIRLFRIEND DISAPPEAR I DON'T WANT TO HEAR HER NAME EVER AGAIN!" We yelled

"In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger" I stuck up my middle finger, waving my hand. "Cause I can, cause I can do it better!" I stuck my tongue out throwing up both middle fingers as she took my photo and I laughed harder, watching her take the end of a makeup brush

"I KNOW THAT YOU LIKE ME, NO IT'S NOT A SECRET!" Aimée sang into the makeup brush.

"But you become somebody else around everyone else!" We sang and I saw my phone was ringing with a FaceTime call seeing it was Katrina. I had gotten my face primed and foundation laid on, and I answered it.

"TELL ME! WHY'D YOU HAVE TO GO AND MAKE THINGS SO COMPLICATED!" Aimée scream sang

"Hey! I see you're having fun!" Kat laughed and I smiled, nodding.

"I hear you guys are too! We are having two very different parties" I giggled and she grinned, nodding.

"What are you doing? Why are you in your underwear?" She laughed and I grinned.

"I have a date! We're getting ready" I grabbed the concealer and drew two triangles under my eyes, grabbing my beauty blender

"You have a date!? Since when!" Kat gasped and I giggled, feeling the warm piece of hair fall down my back.

"HE WAS A BOY, SHE WAS A GIRL, CAN I MAKE IT ANYMORE OBVIOUS!" Aimée yelled, straightening my hair, skipping the last song.

"HE WAS A SKATER BOY SHE SAID SEE YOU LATER BOY!" Aimée danced, making me laugh.

"Since yesterday. Aren't you supposed to be with Sam and Colby?" I asked and she nodded, flipping the camera around to show Sam was in front of her, talking to some girl and guy I didn't recognize.

"Send me pics when you get dressed!" Kat told me and I agreed, grabbing my eyebrow pencil.

"Aimée, this is my roommate's girlfriend, and my friend Kat, Kat. This is my coworker and now friend Aimée" I introduced, letting them talk for a minute so I could focus on my brows.

"I haven't worn full glam in so long" I breathed out, leaning closer to the bathroom mirror to see how they looked.

"Remember Leigh, Sisters, not twins!" Aimée reminded me, watching me intently inspect the hair above my eyes.

"Has Colby ever seen you in full glam?" Kat asked and I shook my head.

"He's seen me in like, slight glam from the day I let my brother do my makeup, but I haven't done date night glam in a couple years. I was a little uh.. preoccupied to care about my looks to be honest" I muttered.

"You should def take pics and send them to me!" Kat yelled over the music. I could see this little get together turned into a house party, so I knew the likeness of either of us coming home was slim.

"Hey Leigh!" Sam said and I gasped, dropping to hide behind the counter.

I grabbed the towel and covered my body, popping back up.

"KAT!" I yelled and she giggled.

"I wish it would've been Colby" Kat spoke and I glared at her.

"SAM YOU CAN'T JUST POP IN LIKE THAT! I WAS IN MY UNDERWEAR!" I yelled, clinging the towel to my chest.

"It's no worse than seeing you in a bikini. I'm very happy with my girlfriend, I could care less" Sam explained, kissing Kat's cheek.

"Gross, and I care! I don't need you seeing my date night underwear!"

"Ohh! Is someone planning to get laid?" He asked and I flipped him off making him laugh.

"Anyway, how's the party?" I asked, letting Aimée finish straightening my hair.

"It's alright. Colby's getting black out drunk with some friends, so one of three things will happen. He's going to end up in bed with some girl, annoy Sam and I on the way home, or be extremely stupid with his friends" Kat shrugged and I laughed, remembering some of the drunk Colby stories I've been told. I've never seen him drunk, but from what I've heard, it's quite the experience.

I talked with Kat for a little bit before she went to go hang out with some friends, leaving me and Aimée to finish.

"It looks good!" I complimented, watching my hair do a swoosh movement as I spun to the side.

"Your makeup looks good too! I would do just a nude or light pink lip or something" She said and I nodded, digging through her lipsticks.

"So who's Colby, and why does your friend want him to see you in full glam?" Aimée asked and I sighed.

"He's my roommate. Her boyfriends, best friends. They keep teasing about us getting together" I shrugged and Aimée raised an eyebrow.

"Is he cute?" She asked and I smirked, tilting my head at her.

I showed her his contact photo and she grinned so big that her eyes squinted.

"How haven't you hit that yet?" She asked and I rolled my eyes.

"Please he's always mad at me and there is more to being with someone than them just looking hot. They need a good personality and attitude dumbass" I grumbled, tired of people saying I should fuck Colby or date him.

"Oooo, cute rough makeup sex" She wiggled her eyebrows at me and I narrowed my eyes at her, shaking my head.

"Okay but enemies to lovers is so hot!" She practically moaned and I rolled my eyes.

"It's not cute, it's troubling and cliché. All those dumb enemies to lovers books, the relationship is shit and someone always ends up heartbroken"

"Ohhhh, so you're looking for a relationship?" She smirked.

"Aimée, we are literally getting ready for a date that YOU wanted me to go on!"

"OH YEAH LET ME GRAB YOUR DRESS!" She yelled, running out of the room.

Aimée walked in with the outfit draped over her arm, heels in hand.

"Put your cute flats in your bag just in case" She said and I nodded. I had worn some white flat sandals to her place, and I was glad the bag I brought was big enough to fit them.

I slipped on the cute dress, looking at myself in the mirror.

"I'm going to spin, make sure you can't see my ass" I twirled a couple times and she said I was all good, so I slipped on the heels.

"We got half an hour to take some bomb ass pics!" Aimée cheered, grabbing her phone and polaroid camera. I snapped a quick pic and sent it to Kat.

We spent the next 15 minutes taking photos, and she showed me the ones with my bump.

From the side, you could see the very tiny little bump poking out, but I flattened the dress against it so it peaked out more, and I was obsessed.

"I might make you take my maternity pics" I spoke in awe of the imagery.

"What does he look like again?" I asked, inspecting myself in the mirror again.

It's been a long time since I've gone on a proper date, and it would be my first actual date after my break up, so saying I was insanely nervous would be an understatement.

She handed me her phone and I swiped through a few photos, nodding.

I took a deep breath and shook my hands, trying to get rid of the jitters.

"Put your phone on the charger till we leave. I can text you the photos"

Before we knew it, there was a knock at the door, and Aimée was opening it, letting the stranger into our safe space.

"You look beautiful" He spoke and I gave a small smile, glancing towards the floor.

"Thank you. The navy blue collar shirt and dark jeans is drool worthy" I accidently said and my eyes widened. "Wait- no! I'm sorry!" I quickly tried to recover but it was too late.

He chuckled and nodded. "Thank you" he smirked and I wanted the floor to collapse.

"I'm sorry! It's my first date in a long time! I might keep saying stupid shit" I covered my face with my hands, but I felt his hand grasp my wrist and pull my hand off my face, my eye peaking open.

"Don't hide. It's cute" He reassured me and I shook my head.

"It's not cute! It's embarrassing! I understand if you don't want to go out with me now-" I quickly spoke and I watched his forehead wrinkle.

"Why wouldn't I still want to go out with you? You basically just said you found me attractive and liked my outfit. As far as I'm concerned, this date is already off to a good start" He winked and I blushed, playing with the ring on my finger.

We put in some studs and a couple rings on my hands, and now I was kind of regretting the rings.

I knew it was a nervous habit, so I was starting to question if I should take them off and leave them here. Maybe that would prevent my fidgeting, or maybe I'd just replace it with something else....

"I can't believe I did that!" I groaned, crouching on the floor with my head in my hands, except in what I thought would be a graceful crouch, my little bump hit my knees and down I went on my ass, the palms of my hands bracing the fall on the floor.

"Woah! Are you okay?!" He spoke frantically and I nodded, taking a deep breath. I didn't know if I wanted to laugh or cry.

He offered me his hand and I took it, letting him help me up and steady me on my feet.

"You know.. if you wanted to see me shirtless, all you had to do was ask. You didn't have to spill your water down the front of me" He teased but my hormones decided to not take it as a joke, and I just started crying.

"Fuck! I'm so sorry!" I sobbed, already knowing I'll never see this man again.

"Hey! It's okay!" He cooed and I frowned, feeling like a baby.

I quickly walked out the restaurant door, tears rapidly falling down my face as I cursed myself out over and over again.

I made a fool out of myself!

I stopped walking and leaned against a wall, hearing my name being called out.

I opened my contacts and tried to quickly decide who to call.

I didn't want to let Aimée down, and I didn't want to worry her since he had done nothing wrong. Kat, Sam, Jake and Colby are at a house party. My brother is out of town picking up their new dog.

"Leighton!" He yelled and I heard running coming towards me.

"No it's okay! I'll find my way home-" I started but he shook his head, stopping in front of me.

"Are you okay?" He breathed out quietly.

"No! I fucked it all up! I've said and done so much stupid shit it's embarrassing!"

"Hey, we all do stupid stuff here and there. The water was an accident, don't beat yourself up about it. I've said dumb stuff too, but I promise I find it cute. It's cute that you're all worked up and nervous that you're fumbling over your words and saying weird stuff. It makes you human. I don't need the world's perfect girl. I need my perfect girl, and as far as I'm concerned, I think I've found her" He smirked and I frowned.

"It's the hostess isn't it?"

He rolled his eyes and chuckled.

"Can I do something stupid?" He asked and I narrowed my eyes.

"Like what?"

"Can I kiss you?"

* * * *

Okay I've read through this so many times pre editing, I don't want to do it again. If you find any mistakes, sorry. It's pure laziness again.

Imagine reading through this chapter like 10 times. You'd get tired too lol

The January stuff is cause I used stuff from the deleted scenes lol

Wrote on: January 14th, 15th, 16th, 17th, 19th, 20, 21st, February 5th, 13th 2022

Word Count: 7672

Part Twenty Five

#colbybrock #sam golbach #sam and colby #unbroken #writing #creative writing #fanfiction #colby brock fanfic #katrina stuart

12 notes · View notes

oingo233 · 4 years ago

Text

Rapture is a Boy (2)

Summary: Remus and you have always had a playful, loving relationship but his behavior around the full moon leads you to assume the worst. A huge fight ends with the two of you heartbroken. Will Remus reveal the truth behind his behavior? And will you still love him afterwards or has he truly lost you forever?

Young Remus Lupin x Reader

Warning: brief talk of weight (as someone who is overweight I would never write anything or imply that being overweight is a bad thing, I know society deems it as less beautiful but the truth is that we are so beautiful, every single one of us despite our weight/size or appearance, we just have a different journey to self-love than those who are conventionally pretty, a much harder path to confidence no doubt, but let me remind you that you are breath taking because most to all of beauty is the uniqueness that one has), some angst sprinkled into this one, get ready for loads of it later, bitches like em’ sad, it’s me, I’m bitches. Also, there are some cuss words, nothing too bad though. Self-doubt, cheating is mentioned.

Authors note: I try to keep my writing(self inserts) gender, body type, ethnicity and house neutral/not specified. If I ever slip up please let me know so that I can change it. Remus’s/3rd POV is italicized, it switches back and forth briefly to better show the relationship and luv. Shit will go down in the next chapter, enjoy the little amounts of fluff and joy in this one while it lasts mwhahaha!

Word Count: 2k

Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four - Part Five - Part Six - Part Seven - Part Eight

Part Two

**** Chocolate Pudding ****

I was distracted in class for the second time this month, all because of Remus Lupin. He plagued my mind, and now Lucy accompanies him even in my thoughts. I didn’t mean to jump to conclusions, and I almost never do. But Lily saying I should talk to him, and Lucy running off to comfort Remus when it should have been me, pushed me into a full spring leap. And the conclusion I leapt to was a heartbreaking one, but with all the confidence of the world I believed it. It’s the only thing that makes sense with what I know now. He’s cheating on me.

He told me earlier today, he will be studying in the library with the rest of the marauders before dinner. I will meet and talk to him there, I decided, wringing my fingers and then wiping the sweat off on my robes. Because although yes, I do think he could be cheating on me, I know Remus is a great person. Great people don’t cheat, right?

“Lily, you don’t think he’s cheating do you?” I blurted out, whispering it softly to her through her blockade of dark red hair. She turned to me flabbergasted, her mouth agape to me.

“No,” She says definitely. “Remus is not that person...” There is a silence as I nod blankly at her, I know she is being truthful but she wants to say more. I tug on her robe sleeves, I need to hear what she wants to say but can’t bring myself to ask aloud. What if I don’t like the answer?

“But I think, that ya should talk to him about it. He seems off, no? Maybe it isn’t Lucy at all. You’re jumping to conclusions.” She gives me a pointed look and I nod now in both acceptance and thanks.

“You’re right. I’m being a git.” We both laugh, my mind now eased slightly. We continue to talk amongst ourselves here n there throughout the class. I mentioned James once and she glares at me, but I smile and say,

“Gee Lily, your hair looks awfully bright with that complimentary blush of yours.” She nearly shoves me off my stool. Spending alone time with Lily (despite the large group of students around us) was refreshing, I felt a lot lighter. But the thought of this up coming confrontation with the love of my life once again settled above me like a dark cloud.

It was the last period and it ended minutes ago, I am now making my way up to the library. To Remus. The doors were heavy but glided over the floor as I opened them, the room smelt of old books and dusty pages. I inhaled deeply and smiled to myself, it smells slightly like Remus. Speaking of, his laughter rings out and without a second to waste, Peter, Remus, Sirius and James are shushed aggressively.

I turn around the corner to finally meet them and they’re huddled over some large piece of parchment. Giggling and whispering to themselves, heads nearly clinking together. I clear my throat as so not to intrude. Remus quickly turns to me, his eyes wide in surprise before he stands and hugs me, enclosing my head in his chest.

“(y/n), what a lovely surprise. How was class?” I muffled a hello into his sweater, and can hear shuffling around, from the boys and only when the sound ceased did Remus let go of me. He rubbed his hands down my arms, and smiled warmly down at me. Before I could answer James leans his head in his hand, breathing heavy, he turns to me.

“How’s Lils? Ya have that class with her, right?” I roll my eyes and sit down beside them, Remus stands behind me. The paper is gone but I pay it no mind.

“Yes,” I chuckle to myself, remembering her blush at just the mention of his name. “She’s doing quite well actually. And you boys? Any mischievous plans stuffed up your sleeves? 20, maybe?” They all look at one another and shrug, Peter shook his head yes. Sirius hit his arm and shook his head no, dramatically until Peter followed along. Then the two turn to me and I laugh, not pushing the obvious truth of a scheme from them. They’re sly when they want to be, so this was a definite bashful action. Cheeky.

“Hey love, we’ll meet you down at dinner yeah?” My heart sank for the 2nd, no 3rd time that day. When did Remus get so dismissive? The boys stared up at him a little, mouths agape before they turned to me with soft smiles.

“We’ll miss you dearly until then,” Sirius adds, once again in high spirits.

“Yes, and don’t eat all the pudding in spite.” Peter makes sure to add after last time I did such a thing. It was Peters favorite and he once said I looked bigger when I returned at the train station for the beginning of the year, after the summer of puberty, when really he was just awkwardly talking about how I grew taller and more into myself, good bigger, he thought. But, like anyone with ears I assumed he was calling me fat (fat and all shapes and sizes is beautiful and worthy of love and appreciation, but when someone, such as Peter, implies such a thing to another, in such a way, they could only mean it harmfully so of course I was not going to let that shite slide), so that night I shoveled in all the chocolate pudding before he could get even one bite.

Remus was laughing hysterically with the other boys, as I smirked a blob of pudding fell out between my lips, and Peter looked like he was going to cry. I remember Remus pulled me aside that night to clear up the misunderstanding. He awkwardly confessed it was about my surprising change in appearance, and that I actually look very beautiful. We snogged later that year and the rest is history. (Though the romantic build up was a lot more romantic than just snogging, Remus can be a romantic kind of guy, now was not once of those moments.)

I turn to him.

“Okay. See you then!” I fake the cheeriness in my voice and hope my breath isn’t too shaky as I go and kiss Remus’s cheek. He kisses the very edge of my lips distractedly as I pull away, far from our usual goodbye kisses. I make my way out of the library before stopping in my tracks to yell something over my shoulder.

“The pudding is yours Peter, though it’ll look more appetizing each time you bring that night up,” I expected laughter, or for Peter to say something, anything in response but instead there is silence. I turn around to see the large parchment out again, and the boys huddled over it animatedly.

Thoroughly aggravated, I huff my way down to the dorm and rant to Lily about it all. Then she suggests both the best and the worst idea we, as intellectual, well-put together (well we like to think so) people, have had all day.

“Well, maybe we could throw a little party? Lift your spirits a wee bit, huh love?” Lily suggest, after the fifth time I explain the library scene and how rejected it made me feel. Remus did not want my company, he sat behind my chair and waited until he could ‘politely’ tell me to go, after ignoring me half the day since the incident with Snape.

“And,” she continues, twiddling her thumbs anxiously. “it can be like an impromptu date for Remus and you, if he comes, because of course we’ll invite him-”

“And James,” I smirk, she glares at the way I rudely cut her off but I think she did it more so because of the blush that arose to her cheeks.

“er, sure. But as I was saying, it could be good for you too. I know he hasn’t been spending much time with you lately and everything.” She glances over at a giggling Lucy adorned in red and gold. I scoff bitterly.

“Yeah we haven’t. But ya know what, it’s nothing new innit. He always gets like this.” I stab my dinner with a fork and hear a chuckle coming up from behind me. Peter glances over my shoulder at the chocolate pudding bowl in front of me, seeing as it is still very much full he bows to me and kisses my cheek.

“Thank you, O’ so gracious one,” I can’t fight the laugh, though Remus may upset me, his friends are good blokes that always cheer me up, or at least try too.

The boys all pile in next to us, though it’s been a while since dinner started, they’re a bit late because of whatever they were doing in the library.

Remus saw you and his heart stopped you were, as always breath taking but tonight you looked off, you were stabbing your food with frustration, something must be wrong? You always happily eat your meals, and your laughter is always the first he hears when he walks into the great hall. He watches as Peter makes you laugh, he feels a little off seeing you act this way with Peter. You, lately haven’t been as light hearted around him.

He sits down next to you and is eager to apologize for his behavior earlier. He wanted to take the words back right after his comment. As if he wasn’t feeling bad enough James and the boys ripped into him.

“Bloody hell mate, you might as well demanded she left.” The room was silent as all 4 of them nodded in agreement, Remus included. He sat down and grumbled to himself as they pulled out the marauders map. The very reason he was eager for you to leave, he didn’t want you to see the latest secret of his. Another one of his reasons to be riddled with guilt, he felt so dishonest with you. And he’s been more and more moody with the full moon coming out tonight.

Tonight, as they made their way to the shrieking shack they were going to map it on the marauders map. They were so close to finishing and Remus was eager to, between the map and his soon to be shift he’s had less time to spend with you. Which means less time with your smile, and kisses, and hugs and laughter and bloody hell did he feel like we was going through withdrawal.

But he feels, though the boys disagree, that he should keep his distance from you before full moons. He gets too quite, and angry, and annoyed, he’d hate for you to see this side of him, and all his flaws, and leave him. He wouldn’t survive the pain, he wanted to marry you one day.

“ello’ darling,” Remus whispers into my ear, kissing my cheek. James stares at us before looking lovingly at Lily, who is looking back with raised brows As if to say ‘what now, potter’.

“ello’ darling,” James copies, leaning down to give Lily a kiss on her cheek but she pushes his shoulders back, nonetheless he pulls back with a smile.

“Worth a shot, you’ll miss it one day Evans, once my heart has had enough and I become a reclusive slug,” He says matter-of-factly as he begins to pile food onto his plate.

“I’d act quick Lily, he’s already beginning to look like one.” Sirius leans into to say, though his hair dangles in the pudding making Peter yelp. Remus removes the pudding and adds some to Peters plate.

“You should thank him, grease adds flavor to everything.” Sirius gasps and turns to Remus with slitted eyes. The whole rest of us are laughing, and trying desperately to keep the volume at a minimum as Sirius runs his hand through his hair and tries to rub “the grease” over Remus face.

“If only grease could erase that smirk off your face, mate. I’ll find a way,” Sirius grits as he wrestles Remus who is bumping slightly into me fighting him off. He turns his head during the battle of a lifetime, and apologizes to me for the rough housing, though the look in his eyes seemed like he was sorry for much more. I was taken aback slightly, so I shrug with a loving smile.

Eventually we all finish our dinner and Lily invites the table to our party, all of Gryffindor table actually. Many cheered and said they’d come and bring friends, some even declared to bring butterbeer by the jugfull. But the Marauders just stared at us with a frown.

“We, uh, we can’t make it tonight. Haven’t done enough studying for the exam. I can’t fail this one (y/n), you know that...” Peter trails off and I almost feel bad, maybe the party was a bad idea. The boys all nod along and Lily and I swallow our pride and doubts before telling them it was fine.

Lily holds my arm as we walk back.

“They’re just studying, nothing else to it.” But we both saw the way Lucy stuck behind as well.

Taglist:

@crazylokonugget @beyondprincess

#young remus imagine #remus lupin #young remus lupin #young marauders #the marauders #harry potter imagines #harry potter #remus lupin x reader #remus x reader #neutral reader #angst #remus angst #hogwarts #love #Teen Romance #werewolves #young remus x reader

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mlqcconfessions · 5 years ago

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*chanting* the boys as dads. the boys as dads. tHE BOYS AS DADS. THE BOYS AS DADS! THE BOYS AS DADS!! (plus points if the kid looks JUST like MC?)

YESS. YESSS.

YESSSSSSSS

MLQC Headcanon - Our little treasure

Victor

He’s the father of a lovely daughter, who looks just like you (to his amusement)

He loves waking up in the morning seeing MC 1.0 and MC 2.0 in bed together

Calls her his little angel (Does that make him Father angel?)

He buys the best presents on her birthday (which unofficially became a celebrated holiday at LFG)

You and your daughter sometimes visit him at the office (much to his delight)

Finishes an entire day’s worth of documents so he can dedicate his time to playing with her

Has her toy kitchen set placed in the corner of his office (so she can bake him a cake while he works which he pretends to eat)

HAS A FRAMED PICTURE OF YOU AND HIS DAUGHTER ON HIS DESK (taken from when you were going apple picking last fall)

He hangs the “I love you” card she made for him on her 3rd birthday on his wall (shows it off to Goldman who doesn’t get paid enough to listen to his boss’ gushes)

Loves the outfits you dress her in (loves it even more when you two are matching)

Hosts the most extravagant parties to celebrate the most random events (the biggest one to date was when she said “dadda” for the first time)

Makes her pudding, but not too often

He wants to prevent her from going to the dentist (just in case she gets scared)

Victor, she’s going to have to go see a dentist someday

He tries hard to not let his daughter become spoiled

He makes her work for rewards

But is actually weak against her tears (you’re the one who has to set your foot down, most of the time)

He looks forward to going home after work (sometimes makes Goldman lock the doors to LFG so he can go home faster)

He loves being greeting by the two of you, while she runs up to hug him

He feels so content in these moments that nothing seems impossible

So he’s ready for another one

Kiro

TWIN. SONS.

SO RAMBUNCTIOUS (he’s actually the loudest one)

He notices their love for music early on

He sings along with them while bathing them

Spends the little break times he has to memorize the opening of their favorite show (he takes on one of the characters to dance with his sons)

He brings his sons to the recording studio, letting them go wild inside

He secretly records them singing in the booth (sets it as his ringtone)

Definitely the type to tell them stories about the monster in the closet, with dramatic sound effects (that’s not what your angelic voice is for, Kiro)

He’s so intrigued at how they look like you (but with blond hair)

Doesn’t like getting mad often, but will do it if he has to (actually pretty scary when he’s scolding them)

He asks Savin all sorts of questions (that he honestly doesn’t want to know the context of)

Savin, how do you remove a ring from a baby’s stomach?

You found out later from Savin (I left the room for 5 minutes, Kiro. And you let the baby swallow your ring?)

Frequent games of “Who can hug mommy the tightest?” (he just picks you up bridal style, letting your legs dangle over the twins’ heads)

Insists he tags along on play dates with the neighborhood kids

He gets along so well with the parents?

Gives standing ovations at their school plays (YES! Do you see those trees? They’re MY trees!)

He makes things like chores and brushing teeth into a game (so they won’t be as hostile towards them)

150% wears matching pajamas with the twins (honestly, it’s like you’re raising 3 kids)

Has mini concerts at home (it’s good that you live in a house, and not an apartment)

WRITES SONGS ABOUT HIS SONS

Performs them on tours ONLY when he knows you’ll bring them there

Has a bedtime routine with them (kiss mommy goodnight, kiss daddy goodnight daddy kisses mommy goodnight)

Always wakes up to see them in weird sleeping positions (takes a picture every time, later makes them into a full album became the present for their 18th birthday)

Lucien

A beautiful daughter, a beautiful wife

Nothing more he could ask for

He’s into making home videos (likes to watch them in between his lectures)

He just likes looking at her (because she reminds him so much of you)

Isn’t reluctant to introduce her to the other professors (but doesn’t like it when they get a little too close)

He can’t hide his triumphant smirk whenever she tells him to pick her up (sorry Dr., it seems my daughter is wary of strangers)

He likes noticing the small details about his child (and how she has the same habits as you)

Like how you stick out your tongue when concentrating

Or how one eye squints a little more than the other when smiling

He buys a tiny lab coat for her (after she said she wanted to be a white fairy princess like her dad)

RAISES. BUTTERFLIES. WITH. HER. (the whole caterpillar to cocoon shabang)

He calls her his Blue Morpho (you’re his Monarch)

Explains every animal during trips to the zoo (she loves calling the animals by their scientific names)

He’s so tall? He has to bend down in order to hold her hand (the reason why he just rolls the stroller instead / just picks her up)

He does little science experiments with her (safe ones, of course)

He takes her word for it when she exclaims how colorful everything is

You sometimes bring her to classes when he’s scheduled to lecture

The class can’t focus while a toddler keeps drawing stuff on the board

He plays picture card games with her

Ok, then what animal is this one?

Leopardus pardalis! (You actually can’t keep up with their conversations sometimes)

He has to hold her hand during her naps (she said it helps her fall asleep better, or something like that)

He’s not complaining

Gavin

He can’t believe this is actually happening

He’s going to be a FATHER

And with YOUR child! (the nurses had to stop him from barging into the room so often)

He insisted that he try the Empathy Belly (so he could exactly know what you were going through during pregnancy)

Didn’t think it would be THIS difficult to just live a daily life

SO PROTECTIVE over his daughter (literally follows closely behind her)

He was honestly worried about being a dad (especially after growing up with that asshole kind of parent)

You put full trust in him because Gavin is DIFFERENT from his father (and now he can believe that)

He loves just how much she looks like you (it’s like watching a mini-you run around the house)

Has workout sessions with her (push-up kisses, squats with her dangling on his shoulders, bench presses with her as weight)

Likes it when she tags along with him to the police station (he brags to the other officers every time)

But bringing her to STF? NO WAY IN HELL (although Eli does come over sometimes)

He changed his diet (from instant ramen) so she could be a healthy child

Has an entire closet full of bandages, ointments, and medicine for when she’s hurt or gets sick (if only he took care of his own injuries like that)

But he is a lot more careful when fighting on the scene

He doesn’t want her to cry over his wounds like LAST TIME (he was so surprised)

Uncle Minor acts as the unofficial godfather (he’s actually good at taking care of kids?)

Gavin teaches her how to ride a 2-wheeled bike (he’s so afraid of letting go, even if she insisted)

He likes taking her out on flights when she’s a little older (they always visit the Ferris wheel afterwards)

He makes another ginkgo bracelet just for her

He has pretend tea parties with her and you (Uncle Minor is the butler for some reason)

He keeps the drawing of you, Gavin, and her safely tucked inside his pocket during missions (it’s his good luck charm)

Doesn’t let her use Sparky, but does let her help him clean it

DEFINITELY THE TYPE TO WALK WITH HER ON HIS SHOULDERS (she’s holding on his neck, chin resting on the top of his head)

Worries about the future boyfriend she’s gonna bring home

Gavin, she’s only 5

Well, yeah but for NOW

WHEW

That was a lot of fluff

Which was your favorite part? Mine would probably be Gavin working out with his daughter (because I’m Birdcop trash like that and actually imagined it)

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hiimsociallyawkward · 4 years ago

Text

Dear Lara Jean,

HI. so i watched TATBILB: A&F a few weeks ago, and I have some words. Before I begin, i'd like to preface that i'm literally 17 and have no film experience, and that I've read this book once maybe 4 years ago but here it is.

ps. if you haven't gotten it already: there will be spoilers. Heavy spoilers.

first of all, i'm sorry but i really didn't like the little edit things. Maybe I've reached that point in my life where I don't f with that anymore. Like when theres a drawn house and it slowly fades so it's real life?? no thanks

the music choice... I honestly didn't have that big of a problem with it, but my korean friend kept going "wtf is this music choice" so i'm quoting her on that.

the filming and editing. well maybe it's just me but I didn't really like it. yk when you're watching a youtuber and they do those zoom in things and it's sort of fast and funny? I think there were a few times the movie did that and i didn't like it.

literally, lara jean looking directly into the camera?? it feels like it's breaking the 4th wall and maybe they're doing it to be edgy but no thanks i didn't like that either.

WHY???? Her breaking the 4th wall added NOTHING to the movie. It just took me out of the experience. I especially didn’t like it when they did it in PS I still love you when they temporarily broke up.

THEY SET THE MOVIE IN OREGON. WHAT WAS THE REASON. THE BOOK WAS SET IN VA, AND I LIVE IN VA SO I FELT A CONNECTION TO THE BOOK. AND THEN THEY GO AND SET IT IN OREGON. WHAT. WAS. THE. REASON

OREGON DIDN’T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING WITH THE COLLEGES. THEY’RE STILL PRETTY FAR AWAY FROM STANFORD. IN THE BOOK, UVA WAS CLOSE BY SO LJ WOULDN’T HAVE TO BE TOO FAR AWAY FROM HOME. NO OFFENSE TO THE STATE BUT WHY OREGON. THEY COULD OF PUT THEM IN CALI AT LEAST

ONE OF THE REASONS WHY LJ WANTED TO GO TO UVA IS BECAUSE HER FAMILY WOULD BE CLOSE BY. BY PUTTING THEM IN OREGON, YOU TAKE AWAY THAT REASON. i just want to 👊 whoever’s idea this was

FURTHERMORE: THEY CHANGED UVA AND UNC TO STANFORD AND NYU. I AM INFURIATED. THE WHOLE POINT WAS THAT THEY WANTED TO GO TO UVA BECAUSE IT WAS LIKE 10 MINS FROM WHERE THEY LIVED AND IT'S A STATE SCHOOL. LARA JEAN FELT LIKE THE WAS GAURANTEED TO GO TO UVA AND WHEN SHE DOESNT, IT ACTUALLY HURTS THE READERS.

in the book, LJ was waitlisted from UNC, rejected from UVA, and accepted to W&M. I’m sure you can find like 40 people at our school who can relate to this situation. I doubt 40 people in our school can relate to being rejected from Stanford BUT accepted to NYU. dear writers, please give teens across the nation (your target audience) realistic expectations for college admissions.

YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME THAT PETER AND LARA JEAN WERE ACTUALLY QUALFIED ENOUGH FOR STANFORD. LEMME JUST SAY, I'VE APPLIED FOR COLLEGES THIS YEAR AND I FEEL LIKE I HAVE A PRETTY GOOD GRASP ON WHAT IT TAKES TO GET INTO CERTAIN COLLEGES. YOU'RE TELLING ME THE TWO OF THEM. REALLY. GOT. INTO. THOSE. SCHOOLS. pls.

DON’T GET ME STARTED ON THE KISSING BOOTH. ELLE AND NOAH ARE POSSIBLY THE DUMBEST CHARACTERS I HAVE EVER WATCHED. I DON’T SEE THEM DO A PAGE OF HOMEWORK AND I DON’T EVEN THINK THEY ATTEND CLASS. LIKE MAKING A KISSING BOOTH FOR ONE FUNDRAISER FOR A CLUB THAT CONSISTS OF 2 PEOPLE DOES NOT COUNT AS ENOUGH TO GET INTO HARVARD. but that’s a different movie...

this is literally the idea that television and movies have in making it super easy to get into ivy leauges. as if some in state college isn't up to society's standards of where or where not it's ok to go to college. it's when gabriella montez goes to stanford, troy goes to berkely, ryan evan goes to julliard, teddy duncan goes to yale, cody martin is accepted to princeton, HANNAH MONTANA does to stanford.

and lara jean wants to study english lit. she never says “i want to go to stanford because of their great english lit program”. it’s only “i want to go to stanford because my boyfriend is going and i have no other life outside of him

fine. make your characters seem awesome by making them go to awesome colleges. but still. this is upseting.

you know how awesome it is to hear UVA, the college I've always wanted to go to, in a published book? and for them to just rip it away- espeically when UVA is so attainable?? Yea yea movie directors, i get it, UVA isn't good enough for you. whatever.

They had AT LEAST 5 MONTAGES. 5. FIVE. WHO NEEDS THAT MANY MONTAGES. To quote my friend "the movie is all montage and 30 mins of plot" AND I CAN'T FIND IT IN MYSELF TO DISAGREE WITH HER.

AND THE DANCES. I REALLY DIDN’T NEED TO SEE NOAH CENTINEO DO WHATEVER HE CALLS “DANCING” IN 2 MONTAGES. I know everyone fell in love with noah in the first movie, but i’m pretty sure everyone fell out of love with him in this one.

again, i know nothing about movies, but 5 montages?? it seems like you're just filling space and trying to make everything seem ✨awesome✨ and ✨amazing✨. SURE. everything might be awesome and amazing, but this movie was 1 HR AND 55 MINS. and you decided to add 1 HR of montages? WHy. AND. one of them was in slowmo. i can't

THEY HAD VOICE OVERS THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE MOVIE. sure. 1 at the begin and 1 at the end, I think that's cute. BUT THE WHOLE MOVIE?? WHY. like bruh- have a focus.

literally did anyone read the freaking book? Remember how- in the book right? Margot was actually really not ok with Trina bc she's sort of replacing their mom? and Margot is rlly not ok with it but gets over it?? see how that was summarized in like 5 seconds in the movie? Oh i'm sorry you used all your time for the movie making STUPID MONTAGES but can we get some actually emotionally beats next time?? thanks.

ok this is a big problem i have with the movie. in the 3rd book, peter tries to have a relationship with his dad who ran away from him years ago. He struggles with that relationship the whole book. This is good stuff. people can relate to this. the scene in the diner where peter “confronts” his dad was CRINGEY. It could be noah’s acting but i couldn’t take him seriously. AND HE FORGIVES HIS DAD AFTER 30 SECONDS. the movie tries to include these smaller storylines but can’t because of the time limit. i’m no screenwriter, but i’m sure there could have been a way to subtly move that plot line during the entire movie rather than that one conversation in the diner

and in the book, peter has to train for lacrosse so he has to eat healthy which stresses him out. i specifically remember him getting mad at someone (maybe it was john ambrose, i don’t remember fully) for EATING HIS CARROTS. this just shows that peter has a life too. he has to worry about lacrosse along with losing lj. but no, the movie makes him look like the perfect boyfriend who has no other worries in life except for the girl in front of him

remember how- in the book (right?? bc they had a book to go off of???) Stormy was a part of the 3rd book? like a BIG part?? They LITEALLY just used her as John Ambrose's grandmother (WHICH IM PRETTY SURE THEY DIDN'T EVEN DO IN THE MOVIES). literally, stormy and john ambrose were throw away characters in the second movie and i am infurriated. BUT ALSO I LOVE JOHN AMBROSE HOW COULD THEY DO THIS TO HIM??

and remember, how in the book, how the dog's name is "Jamie Fox-Pickle" and they changed it to HENRY??? where is the flavor. what was the reason. SERIOUSLY.

BUT ALSO. CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG BUT THERE WAS A POINT IN THE PLOT WHERE PETER'S MOM TOLD LARA JEAN TO BREAK UP WITH PETER. DOES NO ONE ELSE REMEBER THAT?? AND THEY CUT IT ALL OUT OF THE SCRIPT?? LIKE WHY. WHAT WAS THE REASON.

ok those are my biggest book grievances I think. but lemme just say, they NEVER went to NEW YORK. They literally wrote that in for the purposes of NYU. in the book, Chris and Lara Jean DRIVE to UNC because that's ATTAINABLE. BC THEY'RE STATE UNIVERSITIES. ANYWAYS

LJ’s and Chris’s spontaneous trip to unc showed their friendship in a good way. I never really liked chris as a friend to lj but during the trip, they are besties and it shows. the movie tries to do that in ny but peter is also in ny for some reason. she should have fell in love with ny WITHOUT peter at her side nagging her to sneak out and go on a date. she should have spent more time with chris rather than thinking about peter while she was watching the band.

the scene where Lara Jean is in New York and at the party and she sees the band? To all the boys I've loved before: Always and forever?? more like To all the boys I've loved before: gay awakening time.

when they moved the pink couch to the subway? WHy? They wanted snazzy pics.

when Lara Jean and Peter were making up and it was a really cute sequence AND THEN THEY MADE HER LOSE HER V CARD. FINE. I GET HOW THAT'S REALISTIC BUT IT WAS A CUTE SCENE. MY FRIEND ALMOST STARTED CRYING AND THEN LJ LOST HER V CARD AND WE COULDN'T STOP SCREAMING.

this is different from what was in the book (for the 100th time). In the book, they don’t do it and it shows that you can be in a high school relationship without being physical. I strongly appreciate that message. This darn movie had to have her lose her v card. WHY. IT ADDED NOTHING TO THEIR RELATIONSHIP. THE YEARBOOK SIGNING WAS SYMBOLIC ENOUGH

the montage where it's a montage of all of lara jean's and peter's cute moments?? ok fine. that was cute. but they literally just took scenes from past movies. imagine the impact if we like hidden moments from their relationships. maybe they're laughing in the car together. maybe they're watching they sunset. maybe peter is looking at her lovingly while she sleeps. WHAT IF. it WASN'T a montage of all the "bigger" moments of their relationship, and we got to see them just exist.

UGH. THE VOICE OVER AT THE END OF THE MOVIE IS SO CRINGEY I CAN'T

"WE AREN'T LIKE OTHER COUPLES. NOT US, LARA JEAN AND PETER KAVINSKY. BECAUSE WE HAVE SOMETHING BETWEEN US. WRITING LOVE LETTERS" please. b freaking s

Some redeemable qualities

while i didn't like most of the songs, "like me better" by lauv will always be loved. especially since it's a call back from the first movie?? I can ftw

WHY WASN’T “LIKE ME BETTER” THEIR SONG???? I really thought it was a good song to be their song and they referenced it in the beginning. No offense to the “beginning middle and end” people, but i felt no attachment to that song.

they customized her phone. it looked like it was a 7 (idk rlly, i don't know crap abt iphones) but they customized it. Granted, I KNOW lara jean would be the one with the aesthetic background with color coded folder, but still- they did give her relevant apps. some to note include; tiktok, spotify, instagram, netflix, notes, messages, facetime, maps, whatsapp and the STANFORD APP?? whatever- i'm chill.

they did make lara jean make choices so that was good.

the prom ask?? That was cute. with the pancakes??

at the end when Peter played the song even though earlier he didn't like it?? I liked that. i liked that a lot. ok fine i more than liked that a lot. There are multiple texts where my friends are screaming at each other. In fact, 26 separate messages.

chris in general. granted, she was more present in the books, but i'll take what i can get.

some notable quotes by her, the queen

"I'm dead inside"

not wanting to do a gigantic walk down from the stairs and asking the boys not to turn around

peter said he liked lara jean's forehead kisses and that reminded me of emma chamberlain so that's a positive only bc of emma

I remembered that they were the class of 2021, and I'M class of 2021 and it just hit for a second.

my friend cried over their graduation but i felt nothing bc we're literally living in a pandemic and chances of me getting a real graduation?? we'll see

again, these are all just my opinion. my friend doesn't like the movie bc she says she's sad and bitter and seeing these cute couples makes her feel lonely but i'm just diappointed. the books were GOOD. they were gold.

there was so much they could’ve done with the movies, and i just feel like they didn’t deliver on anything. Jenny Han, i’m sorry. The movie overall, ik someone who cried about it and someone else who gave it 7/10. props for them but jeez i just wish for more.

ok but that’s the show folk. i mean, obviously everything i said was opinion and literally don’t listen to anything i’ve said. BUT. feel free to add what you hated or loved abt the movie too. thanks. i love you guys. “always and forever” :,)

p.s- omg not them ripping off taylor swift. jk jk. ok bye

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erensnubs · 4 years ago

Text

𝑳𝒂𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑱𝒐

Hanamaki Takihiro x GN! Reader

Based off of the Laurie and Jo Scene in Little Women

Summary: Sometimes first loves never work out

Content: Angst, pure angst

From pirate ships, to being monarchs and warriors of old, you and Hanamaki Takahiro, were best friends.

He was the little boy who moved in next door, snot running down his nose, hands stained with dirt as he offered you a piece offering of roly polies and leaves.

You were the little kid who rolled around in the mud and terrorized the other kids by throwing sticks at them.

Needless to say you immediately became best friends. And menaces to your parents, the neighborhood kids and society in general.

You were together from the young ages of kindergarten, you were there to witness Hanamaki's awkward stage of puberty. You were there to witness him making other friends than you and lovers.

He was there when he saw you make other friends than him, dating a lot of people. He was there when you were scared of going to middle school, was there when you had anxiety over grades.

You were there for each other all the time, ups and downs, triumphs and trials.

So it was natural, that Hanamaki fell, completely and hopelessly;

In love with you.

You're running in the grass, rolling around with Hanamaki laughing your asses off. You guys have just graduated highschool and the two of you, being the dumb bitches you are decide to skip the family party to celebrate your accomplishments.

“We’re adults now!” You yell, half skipping down the hill and eventually trip.

You pick yourself up and start screaming.

“I’M FREE FROM THIS GOD FORSAKEN TOWN! WE’RE FREE!”

Hanamaki laughs, “Yeah says the one who barely passed history.”

He grabs you by the arm and drags you through the flowers of the field and sets you down, all the while you giggle deliriously.

Usually Hanamaki would be laughing along, making stupid jokes about your laugh.

But he doesn’t.

And it scares you.

Before you even open your mouth to say anything, Hanamaki plops down beside you and thoughtfully asks,

“What are we going to do, [Name]? After here?”

The question sounded serious not like those ones where he asked you if he looked sexy for prom or if his crocs match the vibe of the weather that day.

You paused to take in the question.

“Well... I can’t really answer that Hiro Out of our whole friend group we’ve always been the floaters. The ones that never really know what we’re doing...”

Hanamaki turns his head around, baby hairs sticking onto his skin from the sweat of running. His eyes are looking at you, no they’re looking through you.

He breathes out a yes, like he’s been holding something from you. A secret he didn’t want to tell.

You turn away abruptly hoping he doesn’t see your slight change of attitude.

“Iwaizumi’s going to America, Mattsun is getting ready for college, and you know Oikawa is going over to Brazil to pursue volleyball.”

“I honestly don’t know Hiro. I get that we can’t be kids who run around more and throw dirt at each other,” you say laughing softly.

Hanamaki scoffs, “But you wish it was like that huh?”

You sit up and pick the grass from the ground and throw it randomly into the air.

“Of course! I still want to get a pirate ship and go and travel the world with you.”

Hanamaki raises his eyebrows, “And steal gold from random people?”

You smile cheekily, “Of course. Then we’ll build our chocolate empire, something that could rival Willy Wonka’s.”

Hanamaki stands up and puts his hand out to you.

You grab it, but why do you feel like the gesture is something much more than a friendly hand?

The two of you start walking, swinging your arms around as you joke about your chocolate factory, your pirate ships, the adventures you’re going to have.

The sun was setting, the long, green blades of grass turning yellow as you and Hanamaki run through them, creating scars and bumps on your skin.

You were going to miss highschool. You were going to miss groaning about exams and certain substitute teachers. Miss skipping classes with Mattsun and Makki to go get wasted with cheap alcohol.

You were going to miss Oikawa and his stupid smile and Iwaizumi and his stupid nicknames. You were going to miss crying with the 3rd years over lost volleyball games.

Hell, you were probably going to cry when Oikawa and Iwaizumi left to continue their lives. You might even cry when Mattsun goes to college even if he isn’t going overseas.

But at least you had Hanamaki. Your dearest friend. Though your relationship has gotten deeper and you were able to confide with each other, you were still the 2 children that fought other kids on the playground.

You could always, always rely on him. Because you never changed with each other.

“[Name]?”

You turn around and see Hanamaki. His eyes glowed with something.

And it was not of the setting sun.

“Yes?” You say, the sky turning darker as moments pass.

“I know we talk about us being adventurous and going with the flow... but I feel like we could do something more, you know?” he says it quietly, his thumb subconsciously rubbing yours.

You look up at him, “What do you mean? You just want to suddenly work a 9-5 job in a corporate company? We talked about this Hiro...”

He looks taken aback, “No no, that’s not what I meant [Name].”

Hanamaki gets quieter, “We could always be little kids, playing with swords and sticks. Together.”

You pause as Hanamaki looks up at your eyes. Together? You’ve always been together? Always.

Wait.

He couldn’t possibly mean.

You pull back from his grasp,

“No Hiro I can’t do that. Please no.”

You start walking away from him and he advances as he argues, trying to salvage something.

“[Name], no I love you and I have always loved you since we were little! I can’t imagine myself being with anyone else besides you!”

You walk faster and wrap your arms around yourself, “No, no, no. Hiro you’re being ridiculous.”

“Yes, YES!”

“No! We can’t!”

“[NAME]! COME BACK HERE LET ME SEE YOU!” Hanamaki says running towards you.

You spin around and stare at him, “We can’t work Hiro! I could never love you that way, and I would be lying, God I would be lying if I said that I did. Our whole life together we’re going to be pretending.”

He runs his fingers through his hair in frustration, “Why?! We were just talking about doing adventures together! Why is that any different than what I proposed!?”

You stomp your foot onto the ground, “Did you not just listen to me you dipshit? I could never love you romantically! Ever! I care for you, I worry for you but Hanamaki you are my friend. My closest friend. You are the one thing in my life that hasn’t changed so quickly and then you pull this shit?”

Hanamaki starts yelling now, “BUT I MAKE YOU HAPPY! AND YOU MAKE ME HAPPY! WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER SIDE BY SIDE, FOR YEARS [NAME]! YEARS! I HAVE DONE EVERYTHING I COULD HAVE TO TELL YOU I LOVE YOU!”

You start shaking your head, “No, don’t say that.”

Hanamaki starts rambling, “You always tell me that words and actions are your love languages-

“Stop.”

“And I’ve been doing it, [Name]. I have. I have been there for you, anywhere and-and-”

“Takihiro stop.”

“And I can’t feel like this anymore. I can’t let you slip through my fingers and watch you run away from me like everyone else has-”

“TAKIHIRO STOP IT!”

The only things that you could hear were the sounds of your breathing and the crickets in the grass.

“Takihiro, you’re being a child. You’re being stupid and ridiculous. Do not let the fantasies of a boy ruin your future,” you say sternly, begging for your tears to not fall onto the ground.

“You say that, [Name], and then run from everything that requires commitment,” he says sharply.

“You’re a coward, [Name]. You’re hurting me.”

Hanamaki is stepped away from you know and he starts walking away.

“My life has no meaning anymore-”

You scoff, “Takihiro your love for me isn’t worth your life!”

Hanamaki walks away and his voice is racked with sobs. Oh god he seriously does love you.

Why?

“Takihiro come back here!”

You’re running towards him now, grabbing his arm but he pushes away.

“Takihiro think with your brain! Just because we can’t be together the way you want doesn’t mean we have to sever all ties!” You say breathlessly.

“I mean think about it, we could have never worked. You hate the fact I don’t eat your favorite ice cream, you constantly like to go out and I like staying home.”

“I don’t care-”

“I hate meeting your other family members because they look down on me, my family members have always been skeptical of you-”

“I don’t care about that-”

“And we would be miserable, Takihiro. Absolutely miserable with one another-”

“No we wouldn’t,” he says stopping and grabbing your arm. Your noses were touching as his thin lips tried to connect with yours.

You pull away.

“Admit it Makki. We are better off as friends, not lovers,” you say finally.

“I’m ugly and I don’t care about my appearance like your other lovers do. I’m brutally honest with you and sometimes you cry about my opinion and-”

“I love you [Name].”

“I’m lazy and have no real goal in life, I have no foundation no, no rock or something. I don’t have a drive, Hiro! You’re going to be stuck with someone who doesn’t care.”

“I love you.”

“And you’re going to find someone else, a nice person, who likes eating your ice cream and dresses up. Who has a clear goal in life and someone your family will love-”

“No one could ever replace you, [Name]-”

You throw your hands up in frustration, “You’re mixing platonic and romantic feelings together and turning it into some big thing!”

“No, I’m not.”

“Yes you are.”

Silence surpasses you again and Hanamaki starts walking away.

You spoke up, “But-”

He turns around again and looks at you with hope. Hope for something more.

“That I don’t think I’ll ever be with someone romantically, Makki. I’ve gone years without.”

Hanamaki scoffs and starts to laugh cruelly,

“I don’t believe that, [Name]. You’re going to find someone, and you’re going to fall hard.”

You sneer, “How do you know?”

“I just do, you’re impossible to not fall in love with. You’re the sunshine in my life.”

“Takihiro don’t say that, please.”

He looks back at you, “But you are! You are my world, my-”

“LEAVE ME! OH MY GOD LEAVE ME!” You yell at him and turn away.

This was the 1st time Hanamaki hears you with that voice.

"[Name]-"

"JUST GO PLEASE-"

"YOU WILL FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE [NAME]!”

You spit out your words, “OH REALLY YOU THINK I WILL? ME? THE PERSON WHO TURNED YOU DOWN?!”

“YES! YES [NAME],” Hanamaki says.

“You’re going to fall in love with someone and you’re perfect, care free life will turn upside down and they’re going to love you. And you’re going to be perfect with each other-”

“HANAMAKI-”

“And I will watch. I will watch you grow and love this person. I will watch it happen because I still love you and I don’t think I’ll love anyone else.”

“And I will watch you, I will watch you [Name], and- and,”

You couldn’t bear to see his tears fall from his eyes, so you turn away.

“I will imagine that it could have been me and you-”

“Hanamaki please-”

“I don’t know what to do with myself but I will still take care of you and I truly love you, forever and-”

“Hanamaki-”

“I won’t ever stop, [Name]. Ever,” he says softly as he tries to reach out for your hand.

You pull away, your voice breaking.

“Hanamaki, go. I don’t want to see you right now,” you say softly.

You don’t have to turn around to see him crumble. You can feel it.

Because your heart was crumbling too.

“I’ll go... get back safe, [Name],” he adds.

You don’t say anything back, and hear the slow movements in the grass as your best friend walked away from you.

Forever.

The sky is dark, the stars seemed ashamed at your argument, and they don’t shine like they used to from years before.

You stayed in the grass, silent tears on your face as you shielded yourself from the cold with your arms.

You wanted to go home, but home wasn’t a place

It was a person. And his name was Hanamaki Takihiro.

But home loved you, and you didn’t love it back the way they wanted.

More tears flowed from your eyes at the sudden thought emerged from your eyes.

You had no home anymore.

AN: Another random little oneshot I did for my boy Hanamaki! Please comment your thoughts or reblog and like! I need constructive critiscm loves so I know what I can write and appeal to!

Taglist: @saladskittles

#hanamaki x reader #hanamaki takahiro #hanamaki oneshot #hanamaki angst #haikyu angst #gn reader #haikyu oneshots #hanamaki scenarios #hurt/comfort #angst #hanamaki x gn reader #hanamaki x y/n #hanamaki x you #little women #laurie and jo #tina's fics⌨︎#tina's cafe menu☕︎

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adultswim2021 · 4 years ago

Text

Welcome to Eltingville: “Bring Me the Head of Boba Fett” | February 26, 2002 - 4:00 AM | Special

Lots of personal baggage to unpack on this one, so please forgive what will surely read as a personal blog post:

Welcome to Eltingville was the first of Adult Swim’s “failed pilots” which aired as a special. It’s failed in the sense that it didn’t get picked up, presumably for being too expensive. It originally aired as a stealth premiere at 4:00AM on Monday night/Tuesday morning, I’m assuming to fulfill a contractual agreement. It had a “for real” advertised premiere on March 3rd, which is what you’ll find cited on various web sources.

It’s time I confess something here: I didn’t like this show the first time around. The early 2000s was a time when “nerd” culture was being clumsily embraced as a novelty. People suddenly started gravitating towards movies and shows about nerds, all usually portrayed in a cutesy and toothless way. Yes, I was too blinded by my own shunning of this trend to realize that this show was the antithesis of that. And yes, I was unfamiliar with the original comics that these were based on, which probably would have blown my mind if I was aware of them in the 90s. Hell, I would have shunned a Dan Pussey cartoon if I weren’t already in love with Dan Clowes comics.

Was it all overblown in my own head? Well, I can only come up with two examples to illustrate my distaste for “nerds stuff”, so yes, it probably was. First, Super Nerds, which was a 2000 pilot staring Patton Oswalt and Brian Posehn as two nerds who worked at a comic book store. I was sold on it by a friend as being the best sitcom he’d ever seen in his life. I also loved Patton Oswalt and Brian Posehn. But good lord, did I hate that show, a lot. The more mainstream example is the Comedy Central show Beat the Geeks, a trivia game show where normal people compete against experts (or geeks) in certain fields (usually popular culture related). The promos showed the geeks in question strutting around and ironically looking cool and triumphant. These promos were so profoundly unfunny to me that I found it insane and offensive when the whole “geek” angle seemed to hook other members of my family. “there’s this game show where guys have to compete... against GEEKS! haw haw!” I can still hear my dad’s voice echo in my head. I still hate it!

I also didn’t relate to traditionally geeky things, like superhero comics, science fiction/fantasy, etc. I hated all of that stuff, and I still mostly do (did I go through a multiple year phase in my early 30s where I tried to force myself to like super hero comics? Yes! I did! It didn’t particularly take). I am absolutely a comedy nerd, though, which is a much MUCH lonelier pursuit.

Hell, the comedy nerd isn’t even an archetype on TV shows; Freaks and Geeks came fairly close, but those guys also liked sci-fi and role-playing games and stuff. Square Pegs also had a comedy nerd character. There was that episode of Undeclared where Martin Starr is boring the rest of the cast by trying to explain that Freddy Got Fingered was an intelligent anti-comedy (the closest I’ve ever seen myself be portrayed on screen). All of these shows lasted one season, making the comedy nerd character the most potent poison since (NOTE TO SELF: google FAMOUS FICTIONAL POISONS, please pick a cool non-nerdy one [leave note-to-self in write-up if coming up with one is impossible {will come off as intentional meta-humor (everyone will love this)}]).

Welcome to Eltingville is about four friends who have created The Eltingville Comc Book, Science-Fiction, Fantasy, Horror, and Role-Playing Club. They’ve presumably been together for a long time when this episode starts, and we see the dynamics of the club right away, the main thing being the constant petty bickering that quickly becomes violent and destructive. They’re all gigantic jerks who presumably only hang with each other because nobody else will. The main conflict of this show has to do with Bill, the Stan of the group, and Josh, the Cartman, who eventually come to blows over a rare Boba Fett doll-- I mean, figure. The first half of the show is a pretty good introduction to the would-be-series, with the guys playing a D&D style role-playing game and then getting into a full-fledged fist-fight over a VHS compilation of nude scenes that turns out to be a recording of the Hair Bear Bunch. The second half is an adaptation of the comic story “Bring Me The Head of Boba Fett”. Had I thought of it I might have read the entire run of Eltingville Club comics before reviewing this. Unfortunately it was a bit of an afterthought so I just read the first two stories, including the Boba Fett one. For the record, I own the Eltingville book, and definitely read and loved the two-issue series that serves as the ending of the Eltingville comics. It’s all those comics in the middle I still need to get to.

The show is very funny and it looks beautiful. According to the few interviews that I’ve found regarding the show (including a page of text found in the Eltingville book, which precedes a section showing off some of the character design sheets), there really wasn’t much reason given for the show not getting picked up. The show definitely looked better than anything else on Adult Swim, so the whole “too expensive” thing seems like as good an assumption as any. Apparently Dorkin spread himself too thin working on this, attempting to design/draw every little thing seen on screen. I actually wondered that while watching the show, because his art style is faithfully preserved here, which is great! The episode ends the same way the comic story does, with Bill & Josh in a trivia-off, competing over the buying rights for a 12 inch Boba Fett action figure at their local comic shop. With every rewatch of this show I confront one basic thing about myself, and it’s how much of the trivia I’ve picked up since the last rewatch. Bill & Josh’s trivia-off is a flurry of questions regarding all kinds of geek garbage, and the few years between viewings of this results in me knowing a few more answers. But, I have the internet, and can usually get hold of a movie or TV show or comic book almost instantly. It’s important to not lose sight that these kids (especially in the comics) are either high-school or college-aged and they learned all of this shit in an era when the internet wasn’t as ubiquitous as it is today. The original comic is set firmly in 1994, and when there’s a dispute over a question Josh runs home to get a large Godzilla reference book to prove that he’s correct. This changed in the pilot to Josh losing on a technicality with a slip-of-the-tongue; attributing a famous catchphrase to a fellow club-member who had adopted it for himself (the comic actually SEEMS to set this up, but doesn’t go in that direction at all, which is weird when you read it AFTER watching this special. I think that means the cartoon improved on that idea).

Wikipedia makes no mention of this stealth broadcast. It would SEEM to make more sense that it aired Monday morning following late night Sunday, but Adult Swim ended at 1AM back in these days, making early Monday morning still technically “out of bounds”. In fact, I very nearly “corrected” the air date to reflect this, but a quick google search for “Welcome to Eltingville” + “4AM” yielded this message board thread where we can see in real time that early Tuesday morning is indeed correct. So, if you’re ever arguing over a 12 inch Boba Fett feel free to uses this trivia in your trivia off.

#adult swim #welcome to eltingville #adultswim2021

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phoenotopia · 4 years ago

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2020 August Update

For once, development has moved on time (sorta). I am happy to announce that the "Reveal and Launch" trailer for Phoenotopia Awakening will drop this morning at 9AM. And the game itself is set to launch for Nintendo Switch on August 20th.

You may recognize that August 20th is in fact the 6th year anniversary of the Flash game. I wasn't particularly aiming for this date - I actually wanted August 14th. It's like a minefield - even just one week offset forward or backward could put you into a crowded release slot. And you don't know how everyone's moving because they're also probably considering the same things. At some point you're locked in and you can't change course. In the end, I added 1 week to the time I wanted initially as an error buffer in case some things came up - which they did! So August 20 ended up being about just right for us and a neat coincidence to boot.

First half of July

The first half of July, I threw myself well into the PC port. The controls still need to be figured out, but we did make a lot of progress. I found out about a 3rd party library called "Rewired" which is all about supporting a multitude of different controllers, disconnects, reconnects, and so forth. It doesn't take us all the way there, but it did remove a lot of the headache involved.

There's still a lot of design involved concerning controller rebinding. For instance, how much of the controls do you expose and allow to be remapped? Technically, you could allow so much freedom that you can break the controls. One solution for that is to lock a portion of the keyboard to be unmappable and so you're never without controls that can remap a menu.

(my solution was to have a lock screen that confirms you have the necessary inputs to at least return to the rebind menu and fix the controls should they ever be set in so bad a state)

There are also some things that a joypad can do that a keyboard can't, and vice versa. For instance, the control stick allows 360 degrees of movement and detects sensitivity. How much you push the control stick will determine whether Gail walks or jogs. However, the buttons on the keyboard do not have sensitivity - they're either all ON or all OFF. Thus, there's no way to "walk" if using a keyboard. I could add a separate "hold to walk" button to the keyboard but that introduces an incongruence between the joypad and the keyboard.

(Rewired's interface for mapping keyboard and joypads. If a "hold to walk" action existed, it would only make sense for the keyboard column, but not the joypad column. Finding that perfect balance between joystick and keyboard will be a challenge.)

Another snag we've hit are button names. If using a Nintendo, Sony, or Microsoft controller, the Right Trigger is either going to be named ZR, R2, or RT. Rewired can be agnostic about joypads, which is great because it reduces the workload on my end, but the caveat is that buttons like this will simply be called "Right Trigger". (See that first image again). Not really elegant...

I can probably fix this after I've had more time to investigate. However, around this time I had to pause PC development, because the Switch version became unblocked and now required my full attention.

Second half of July

The 2nd half of July proved quite busy. As noted in my previous blog post, I thought the Switch version was on track and off my hands. Turns out there were a few more hurdles to clear, and the ball came back into my court, and it moved back and forth a few times. Luckily, the hurdles are really cleared now and we're set to release (August 20!). The specifics of this process are under NDA, so I won't go into details.

We also went around updating a bunch of the game's social media sites - facebook, twitter, youtube. The second half of July was also when we started acting in a PR capacity - we're combing websites and youtube channels and looking for people who look like they might want to cover Phoenotopia. This was fun! I used to read IGN daily over a decade ago (back when Matt and Fran ran the IGN Nintendo channel). Then college happened followed by early work life, and I wasn't able to follow videogames as much anymore. I didn't even have access to a TV for a few years. And I never found a new landing page after that, so combing for websites and youtube channels was a lot of fun. It was interesting to see how the landscape has changed, and the new depth and variety that exists.

We're set to send out a BUNCH of emails tomorrow. Will they catch? No idea... I think if I had 20 reviews on launch day on OpenCritic, I'd consider that a success. We'll see!

Fan Art

This past month, we see a lot of fan artists cross Phoenotopia with other universes. Luckily, all universes I'm familiar with. I'm impressed by the creativity on display!

First, what if Gail appeared as an enemy in Undertale? Glittering_Touch_904 depicts the scene. Gale, like Sans, has only one eye shining meaning she's about to dish out some serious pain. Nice! Definitely choose the Mercy option.

R_Contagio answers the question of what would happen if Phoenotopia was depicted in the style of Limbo? And the answer is very pretty! I'm impressed by how everything is done with one color. Using a band of white to depict water, the creepy eyes on every creature, the patience in drawing each leaf... very impressive! I'd play this game!

UnrealWorld_32 depicts a scene that asks what it would look like if Gale was still back in Panselo when the invasion happens :D I'm impressed by the use of colors - they look like they could come from the game itself! I think it wouldn't be a fair fight. For the invader.

A rare scene, Didi depicts Gail, hammer at the ready, approaching a dreaded Phoenix Pod. We get lots of depictions of 66, but rarely of the pod itself! In the Flash game, we skirt around how the pod opens by having it opened off-screen, so it's nice to see the pod up close. The mystery remains... how does it open?

Another crossover of Phoenotopia and the Shrek universe - this "Shrale" is drawn by Firanka. I'm impressed by the use of colors - dominant use of red garb contrasts well with her green skin. She kinda looks like a grumpy Namekian. Hah hah. What is she annoyed at?

Maybe this little running Gail underfoot (also drawn by Firanka)

Coming Up

We'll continue acting in a PR capacity leading up to the game's release. When the game finally does launch on Switch, I suspect I'll become swamped handling bug reports. When the flash game launched, I remember being swamped for 3 weeks straight! Day in, day out, fixing bugs. I suspect it'll be the same with Phoenotopia: Awakening, but to a heightened degree.

Regardless, we'll post an update on the state of ourselves at the end of September. Even if it's only a small one. Until then!

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willykappymarnsmatts · 4 years ago

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Badass Strawberry Shortcake

HC by my bestie @dallasstarscallmeplease

-High School Au!

-Auston calls the reader Strawberry Shortcake because freshman year she dyed her hair red.

-the red is well gone but the name sticks.

-“Strawberry Shortcake!!” Is the first thing she hears when she gets to class.

-Auston mutters the theme song behind her in class.

-He found out when her birthday was and got a couple of friends of her to cover her locker in strawberries.

-When someone else calls her Strawberry Shortcake, she says only Auston is allowed to.(She’ll never admit it to Auston himself.)

-Reader plays hockey but only a few people know because she doesn’t really like talking about it.

-She uses hockey as her outlet and it helps improve her game.

-She’s close to making 100 goals.

-last game she hits 99.

-The reader has a game one Thursday

-She’s at school hype because it’s the one she’s been waiting for and they don’t have school the next day.

-“Did you find good strawberries this morning?”

-“Well duh.”

-The strawberry shortcake jokes don’t bother her all morning and all afternoon.

-Last class of the day she’s sitting with her friends in the library.

-They’re talking about what to do after the game.

-“Strawberry Shortcake watches Hockey?”

-“Yes when I’m not tending to my Strawberry garden.”

-The bell ringing and the reader is the first one out.

-One of the reader’s friends asking Auston if he wanted to go.

-“(Reader) will be there. You can make your move.”

-Auston says yes because he knows he’s seeing the true woman he likes.

-Reader is in the locker room getting hyped for the game.

-The reader lip-synching the song playing on the speaker.

-Her and her teammate having snaps of them goofing around.

-“Tonight’s the night! You’re totally going to get it (Reader’s name)!”

-Reader getting her team hype.

-Them coming out for warmups.

-Reader getting in the zone for warmups.

-The reader is skating by the glass when he sees her.

-“Is that Strawberry Shortcake?!!”-breaks across the ice.

-“oh shit”(That one scene from Thor Ragnarok)

-The reader falls on her face.

-“Ow....”

-Reader getting up from the ice and continuing her warmups.

-“Is that the guy?”-Teammate #2

-“Yes. That would be him.”

-“You’re right he is cute. You two would have beautiful children.”Teammate#2

-“Now only if she would tell him.”-Teammate #3

-“I’d rather die than confess to the dude who’s been calling me Strawberry fucking Shortcake that I want to date him. Beside he doesn’t feel the same way.”

-Reader not knowing Auston has been staring the whole time.

-The game starting and the reader is kicking ass taking names.

-She makes her 100th goal.

-Auston cheering. “THATS MY GIRL”

-Beginning of the 3rd, a girl from the other team starts chirping her.

-“Is that your man? He can do so much better. Maybe I can give him a try after.”

-The reader starts to get mad but she hides it.

-“I mean it’s only fair. I gave your man a try last week.”-Reader

-The other girl and the reader drop their gloves and start fighting.

-“God damn it (reader)!”-Friend

-“Kick her ass Strawberry Shortcake!!”

-Reader throws the other girl on the ice.

-Auston taking a small snap of the reader throwing the other girl. Caption: imma marry her(or whatever a good caption is)

-The reader turning around and waving from the penalty box holding a towel to her nose.

-Auston shocked because he’s used to the reader being so calm.

-Auston finding it hot seeing the reader with a bloody nose and kicking another girl’s ass.

-The game ends with the reader’s team winning.

-Reader being the last one out of the locker room.

-Reader laying down on the floor.

-“Hey girl...you gotta get up.”-teammate

-“My crush saw me fall on my face and kick a girl’s ass....I’m processing.”

-“He’s outside the locker room that’s why you have to get up.”

-The reader doesn’t change.

-Auston waiting outside the locker room for her.

-“So does the famous kick ass strawberry shortcake take photos?”

-Her head reaches his shoulder so they have a adorable height difference.

-His arm is around her waist and doesn’t move it.

-The reader says she’s staying late so she can work on her goals.

-Auston says he’ll stay with her.

-The reader and Auston having a 1 on 1.

-“Stop cheating!”

-“I’m not cheating, I’m just fast.”

-The reader and Auston bumping into each other.

-“I’m about to throw you!”

-“Strawberry Shortcake, I’m pretty sure I can throw you into another universe.”

-“Then do it!”

-Auston pulling the reader in by the waist and keeping a firm grip.

-“Ready?”

-“Been ready Matthews.”

-“Gotta close your eyes for full effect.”

-Reader complies

🎆BOOM HE KISSES HER🎆

-She kisses back instantly.

-Matthews pulling away for air.

-“Yeah you threw me alright.”

-Auston starting to pull away but she pulls him back by the wrist.

-“Did I say it was a bad throw?”

-Auston smirking and coming back.

🎆THEY KISS AGAIN🎆

-They go get pizza late at night and the rest is history.

✨Bonus✨:

-When the librarian finds out they’re dating, she goes and collects her winnings during class time.

-“Hello Paul, I believe you have something of mine.”

-The students confused at first.

-Paul sighing and handing her cash.

-“Thank you Strawberry Shortcake. I can buy fancy groceries tonight.” And she leaves the room.

-The reader rolling her eyes as the class laughs.

-“So how many people owe her money?”-Reader

-“The whole 3rd floor.”-Paul

-You hear the librarian down the hall: “Where’s my cash, you science twat?”

-“Rita,how many times have I told you not to call me that?”- science teacher

-“I think she may be quitting after today.”-Reader.

-“Don’t give her the idea. Now back to work.”-Paul

-“I will be going by Science Twat and nothing else.”-Reader telling her friends at her locker.

-“I about died when Ms.Thomas told him that.”-Friend #1

-“I want to be her when I grow up.”-Friend #2

-“I told her that one time and she got me out of math. Best day of my life.”-Reader

-“I thought the best day of your life was when Auston kissed you.”-Friend #1

-“Or when you found out you got into (dream school).”-Friend #2

-“Or when your mom checked you out early.”-Friend #1

-“Or when-“

-“I get it. Ive had a lot of best days.”-Reader

-“But it’s definitely when I kissed you right?”-Auston appearing behind her.

-“I got checked out early for a hockey tournament. But you got me pizza afterward.”-Reader

-✨HOLDING HANDS WALKING OUT OF SCHOOL✨

-🌇AUSTON GRABBING THE READERS BUTT WHEN SHE MAKES IT TO HER CAR🌇

-“Stop grabbing my ass like your life depends on it.”-Reader

-“My life does depend on it and the butt must be touched.”-Auston

-Them hugging again.

-“Text me when you get home.”🥰🥺

-“For the Cup!”📍HE GRABS HER BUTT📍

#auston matthews #auston matthews hc #auston matthews/reader #auston matthews imagine #toronto maple leafs #hockey #nhl #nhl hockey #toronto maple leafs fic #hockey fic #hockey imagine #nhl fic #nhl imagine #headcannon #willykappymarnsmatts #dallasstarscallmeplease

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princessofgayskull · 4 years ago

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The last chapter of UWS, right when catra and adora meet up at the bakery before their date

HEY GIRL I’M SO SORRY THAT I HAVEN’T GOTTEN AROUND TO THIS WHEN YOU WERE SO NICE AND THOUGHTFUL TO HAVE SENT IT IN i COMPLETELY UNDERESTIMATED MY AMOUNT OF FREE TIME BUT HERE WE GO I HOPE THIS IS WHAT YOU HAD IN MIND!

So a little backstory about the last chapter: usually a chapter of about 16k-20k will take me about a month, if I’m lucky not to have enough off days. I got this chapter done, (I think it was about 33k words?) in about three weeks. I was full on sprint writing because I wanted to be done before season three dropped on what was either August 3rd or 4th? Anyways, I was eating, breathing, sleeping upper west side. Almost all of the big plot points I’d spent a lot of time dreaming up for the past nine months so they ended up just flowing out of me. I’m still amazed I got it done and it was cohesive enough for the audience because I was spent.

I got this chapter up, lost my mind over season three- especially because I’d written Angella in this chapter and it gave me and quite a few readers EMOTIONAL WHIPLASH- and then I took the entire month of August up from any writing.

I have no idea why Rob was Scottish but I am LAYING IT ON THICK WITH THAT SHOW DON’T TELL RIGHT THERE. I was exhausted by the time I was writing this part, because I write linearly, so I just wanted to be done.

I get asked this question enough to say I’m not sure what the significance of the migraines was in upper west side. There’s no canon equivalent, so I think I was just putting a little bit of me in Catra to I dunno, help with realism? At this point I’d only suffered with chronic pain- fibromyalgia to be specific- but back in April of 2020 I started experiencing migraines and my first thought was “HOW COULD I DO THIS TO CATRA?” Life imitates art.

This will be discussed more in cruel summer, but I wrote Catra as having Borderline Personality Disorder. I’ve never been fully diagnosed with BPD, but I’ve struggled with some syndromes of it, and she comes across that way to me in canon (she fits a DSM-V profile to the letter, almost). I’ve always wanted to have mental illness as a fundamental element of any of my stories because in my own life, I’ve experienced many barriers there and there’s just almost no positive rep for M.I, especially not unconventional disorders like BPD.

So Catra is talking about how she cycles through the entire spectrum of human emotions as a result of everything that’s happening to her, but also just how her psyche is reacting to it. To me, if you feel anger really intensely, the flip side can be feeling happiness really intensely, and I can testify to that.

For being completely exhausted I don’t think that first paragraph is actually too bad.

Catra has such a unique voice in Upper West Side; it’s what I believed her voice would be like if she’d been raised in the modern world, so there’s a lot more cursing and aggravation and even sarcasm, because not only is this the modern world, she’s also about three years older than she was at the end of canon.

One of the things that I think is being expressed here is the idea of resilience. Catra is resilient by nature, she’s a born fighter, and so she breaks but she gets back up. I think the biggest difference between her and Hordka- and the reason why Catra survives such an onslaught of abuse and mistreatment but doesn’t need Adora to whisk the bad out of her- is that Catra is psychology resilient. And I put her through the wringer in this universe so I wouldn’t her resilience to be very loud and apparent.

Entrapta is, without a doubt, a cyber criminal in the uws universe. But as they say, BE GAY. DO CRIME.

They won’t be ghosts for much longer, Catra.

But look at that progress! One thing that I think is really jarring for people when they start she’s god and I found her is that Catra seems to have regressed to being against the vulnerability she seemed so open to in this scene, but I’m never not dealing with some sort of cognitive distortion in a character’s head. When you’re mentally ill, you can be pro-recovery and can be making changes and strides, but you’re going to get set back, and it’s much easier at the start to get moved back to square one than say after months or years of therapy and meds. One thing that I hope people who move through this universe remember is that Catra is at the beginning right here. She’s having one of many hundreds of epiphanies you have when you are going through recovery. In Cruel Summer, we’re going to see how she’s moved forward and what she’s doing to keep herself moving forward.

I think I got the idea of the “curiosity killed the cat” motif when I was making a pinterest board for this story. See, pinterest boards DO work for inspo!

“Walk cock excuse for a human.” I stand by that ASDFHGJK

I love the line in Alessia Cara’s song “My Kind” (which was a HUGE inspo for uws, that whole album was) “I wish we could’ve told those little girls they’re gonna be okay”/ “Wish somebody would’ve told me that we'd be alright.” It just hits me so hard. So there’s a repeated element I want to carry through the universe of “If my past self could see me now, she wouldn’t be so ready to give up 24/7”

I love writing thirsty!Catra, almost as much as I love writing thirsty!Adora.

Okay, just how obvious is that I know nothing about alcohol? I grew up Mormon, and I’d drink now but I can’t because, you know, meds, so I feel like I'm always overcompensating when I write about drinking.

I really, really like working in motifs.

My, my, my, how the turn tables. Definitely a nod to Season 2 when we all lost our minds.

This moment feels very finale Best Friend Squad, which we’ll see more of in Cruel Summer.

Writing a character with a broken arm, I have to say, was strange. The cast is just one more out of a million things to keep track of in your working memory. Writing Upper West, especially as the seasons continued to drop, sometimes felt like I was balancing stacks and stacks of plates on my head, hands, and one foot while trying to whistle Beethoven.

I love that she keeps Sea Hawk’s bracelet and that she adds her “What Would Scorpia Do” to it and wears both.

I have spent hours listening to AJ and Aimee’s voices. Between the actual episodes, youtube clips, and interviews because I am so worried that my characterization is not going to transfer to readers. When AJ is playing Catra as teasing, she sometimes will go up in her register and so that’s what I was going for when she’s teasing Bow.

Also, writing PDA is hard.

Because I go hard on the angst, I have to go hard on the fluff, of course.

And the humor.

I THOUGHT HAVING THEM BE AT THE WINDOW WAS THE FUNNIEST THING IN THE UNIVERSE I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW.

Writing confident and flirty Adora is sooooooo fun, especially because I don’t think that’s really how the fandom thinks of her, but she can be like that in canon, so I like to bring her out when it’s appropriate. And because, obviously, Catra is whipped for her.

WRITING KISSES IS SO, SO, SO DIFFICULT. THREE SO’S OF DIFFICULTY. It can so easily become gross or unbelievable, but I didn’t want every single time they kissed to be the same, so then they each have to be different in some way.

Catra’s mentality of doom is a result of years of trauma and untreated mental illness. It’s branching off of learned helplessness that she and Adora both suffer from. It also sets up for the universe to be explored more beyond the end of this story.

For those who didn’t catch it, the last line of upper west side and the first are the same: “Bright Moon, ugh.” She speaks it here, instead of thinking it. That was the plan from the very beginning to have them kiss in front of the bakery and for her to say this.

Thank you SO much for sending this ask and letting me divulge all of my random thoughts about this scene. I had a blast and I hope it lives up to expectations! Thank you for reading!

You can find upper west side here, and the follow up series, she’s god and I found her, here, and keep a look out for the third series, cruel summer, coming soon!

#upper west side #she's god and i found her #upper west side: cruel summer #AGAIN SORRY IT TOOK ME SO FREAKING LONG #I hope this is what you had in mind

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inevitably-johnlocked · 5 years ago

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Heyo! This has probably been asked before, but is there a rec list for non-slash fics? Thanks :)

YES!! Okay I was LITERALLY setting up a new Platonics list because I’m working on cleaning up my offline lists on this beautiful Sunday, and WE’RE DOING THIS THING because it’s SUNDAY and I’m in a great mood because it’s sunny out, and I want to share more lists than normal because I CAN’T QUEUE ANYMORE, LOL.

Check it out, Lovely!! :D

PLATONICS / BROMANCE / FRIENDSHIP Pt 4