#hanamaki angst

[satoruxx]

you fiddle with your nails as you walk home at tooru's side, the sounds of mattsun, makki, and iwa bickering further up ahead cutting through the empty streets. you’re uncharacteristically nervous, because god knows you’ve never done something like this before—but you steel yourself because it’s worth it for him.

your feelings for oikawa tooru are all consuming—strong and deep and intense. they’ve been brewing for well over two years now, nourished by the increased amount of time you’ve spent with him. they overwhelm you, washing over your being with an intensity you’ve never felt before, and they drive you to stick by his side for as long as you can—desperate and aching for the boy who puts the stars in your sky.

you know that timing is important because tooru is nothing if not driven—singularly focused on the sport that gives him the air he needs to breathe. so you wait until well after his match with karasuno, giving your all to support him and the rest of the team because volleyball has become important to you after spending so much time with them. you give it time, wait until after the team has taken the time to lament over their missed chance, and after all the third years are ready to move on to the next phase of their lives, before you finally decide to spill your guts to him.

tooru stares ahead as he’s walking, pensive and unsmiling, and you’re dying to know what’s going on in his head. his eyes are bright, a contrast to his expression, and there’s a resolute glint in his irises that has you feeling oddly shaken. when you reach his house, the rest of the group waves back at him before continuing on, and you realize this is your chance.

so, dangerously, you put your heart on the line.

you tell him everything you've ever thought about him—how you admire his drive and his passion, how you have looked up to him for years and years. how you have never felt so deeply for someone before knowing him. it comes out in a rushed ramble of words, all those nights of practicing in the mirror doing nothing for you in the actual moment. you stumble a few times, your face getting warmer with every word, and yet as each sentence falls forth you feel a weight lift from your shoulders—the flesh of your lungs clatter against your ribs, anxious and eager.

tooru inhales, gaze darting between your eyes and then flitting downwards. even in the dark of the night, you can see the pinkish hue crawling up his neck, can see the way he fidgets with his own fingers. he stares at you, lips parted as a wide array of emotions flit over his handsome features—they finally settle into a strange combination of apologetic and resigned.

and then he tells you no.

he tells you that volleyball will always take precedence, that he has already mapped out his future, which is too far away from you. he tells you about argentina and how his mind is made up. he tells you that he's flattered, that he's glad you're friends but that's all he can do right now.

“i'm sorry,” he says with a grimace. he studiously avoids looking at you, but you can't stop staring at him—your stomach sinks as he turns to head inside.

it takes you months to muster up the courage to tell him. it takes him two minutes to say no to you.

the rejection stings in a way that is unfamiliar, and you take a shaky breath as you walk down the street to catch up with the others.

the humiliation makes itself known in the form of a painful lump in your throat—unmoving and heavy. when you glance up you see that the third years have hung back, waiting for you. makki is wearing a knowing grin, but it falters when he sees your expression. mattsun, ever observant, seems to immediately understand, and he wordlessly slings an arm over your shoulder.

all you can do is awkwardly chuckle, knowing that it sounds weak and throaty as you shake your head. “i feel stupid,” you admit, voice wobbling as heat burns through your skin—unpleasant and unwelcome.

“you're not stupid,” makki mutters, hands shoved deep in his pockets as his lips slant regretfully. you stare at the ground, nodding slowly under the weight of mattsun's arm. your lungs ache, and you know that if you open your mouth, you will lose it entirely. so all you can manage to do is look up at iwa with glassy eyes and trembling lips and a rueful smile that probably makes you look as pathetic as you feel.

you don't notice the way his fists are clenched at his sides, nails digging indents into his palms. he grits his teeth, gaze flitting to oikawa's house in the background, but he doesn't say anything.

none of them speak as they walk you home, and you try your best to keep the sniffles to a minimum, too embarrassed to look at them.

you've never felt pain like this before, and it's hard to get over it because everything reminds you of tooru. it's like someone has taken a knife and carved into your ribcage, grasping your heart before taking it out crushing it between bloodied fingers. but even despite the gaping hole in your chest you know that there are expectations to be met, things to be done.

that's the strange thing about your silly unrequited love—it hurts and hurts and hurts some more until it stops one day before you can realize it. even though your chest is still bleeding you go on with life—you go to university, you get a job, you pay bills. you get up in the morning and brush your hair and drink water and tie your shoes until the wound closes itself up. you start smiling a little wider and laughing a little freer until oikawa tooru is nothing more than an old name.

and of course there are instances where you are reminded of him and what could've been, whether it's seeing milk bread in a supermarket or passing by children hitting a volleyball over a net out in the sun. you know very well that your friends are occasionally still in contact with their old captain, not that this bothers you. after all, mattsun, makki, and iwa were very careful not to bring him up around you, which you're grateful for. so even hearing the name in passing becomes easier.

it is difficult until it isn't anymore.

you've all but forgotten him now, after years and years and years—nothing more than a distant memory.

so imagine the sinking feeling of dread pooling in your stomach when you walk into the restaurant on makki's birthday and see oikawa tooru sitting at the bar, drink in hand. his eyes are alight as he laughs at whatever conversation he's joined, dark hair falling into his eyes messily.

one step forward, ten steps back.

for a second you can't help but stare, breath stolen from your lungs because it feels like the knife is back and twisting itself into your flesh all over again. there is a panic rising in your throat, suffocating and overwhelming and jarring.

tooru lifts his glass to his lips, hiding his grin as his gaze lazily travels over the expanse of the room.

another surge of panic. the familiar sting of humiliation.

he pauses as he's about to take a sip, brown eyes widening when they land on you, and you see the sharp inhale he takes. his stare doesn't waver, too consumed by shock to look away.

and yet that's all you can do—tear your eyes away because you're different now and it's long gone and you know there is no point in going down that rabbit hole again.

it was a lifetime ago—it's done now.

but you will never know how long tooru thought of you after that night back in high school. you will never know that he felt sick to his stomach when he saw the way your face fell at his rejection. you will never know that he bit his tongue so hard it bled as he watched you walk away from him. you will never know that he spent countless nights in argentina wondering what you were up to and how you were. you will never know that sacrificing you for his beloved sport was the hardest thing he's ever done.

so imagine the sinking feeling of dread tooru feels when he sees the way your eyes light up as you find your way over to iwa's side.

@teddybeartoji this is for you mickey ily hehehehehe

[rintarousgirl]

dating matsukawa issei is like...

a/n: please enjoy the headcanons! off topic but i have like 60 followers rn and i just want to say thank you very much and please send in requests!! beware of the smut below the cut (all smut is post timeskip)

★ - before dating matsukawa, you'd been crushing on him. and you'd been crushing on him for a while. ever since your first year of high school you'd found yourself growing incredibly fond of the heavy-lidded boy in your mathematics class.

★ - three years later, halfway through your third year, you confess to him on Valentine's Day. he's amused by your confession, watching you stare at your feet as you hold out a small box of chocolates and pink letter with neat handwriting out to him.

★ - it's more surprising to you when he accepts, curious and teasing the shy girl who'd confessed to the closed off matsukawa issei.

★ - he's very comfortable with you right off the bat, and there's no special milestones for things. he sits with you at lunch, or well, he drags you over to his table and introduces you to his volleyball friends.

★ - he always has an arm around your shoulders or waist. he likes holding you close to his side, enjoying how small you felt next to how tall he was. you certainly weren't complaining.

★ - loves hugging you from behind, resting his chin on your head and his hands dangling off your shoulders. also a big ego boost for him about his height.

★ - loves lazy cuddling in his bed. holds you close as the two of you watch a movie at his house. you groan when he falls asleep, but he grumbles and says, "how can I help it when you're so soft?"

★ - holds your chin when you kiss, so you can't get embarrassed and pull away. of course, if you want to stop, he will, but he won't let you hide. not from him.

★ - carries your bags and books for you in the school hallway.

★ - you have a box in his closet with all your belongings for when you're over there. sweatshirts, underwear, etc...

★ - handholding is a must. he's a surprisingly affectionate guy for seemingly being so lazy.

★ - buys your favorite flavor of chapstick so he always tastes good for you when you kiss. it's small, but it's sweet and thoughtful.

★ - always is sharing clothes with you. sometimes he'll purposefully leave his sweatshirts at your house in hopes you'll show up to school the next day.

★ - always buys you your favorite chocolates before dates. he'll stop by the store and grab them, even if you guys are just going to a picnic in the park or something.

★ - loves swimming. he loves to drag you and the other third-years to go swimming with him. is constantly pushing you off the dock and then jumping in after to you and pretending he didn't.

★ - is always willing to give piggyback rides when your feet/legs hurt. volleyball has built up a lot of muscle for him, and lifting you is no harder than lifting his baby brother.

★ - petnames include "baby, sugar, and sweetheart." along with multiple silly nicknames based on your name.

★ - dating matsukawa issei feels like summer all over again, even in the deep frostbite of japan's winter season. he's warm and soft and cuddly. he feels like late mornings in bed, sheets tangled and the sun peering in through the windows. it feels like freshly washed linen and blooming gardens. matsukawa issei feels like a breath of fresh air.

★ - matsukawa pins your wrists above you as you fuck, watching you gasp and squirm and be completely unable to do something about it as he overstimulates you.

★ - matsukawa can't keep his mouth off you. he's kissing your lips, your breasts, sucking deep marks into your neck, biting at your hips.

★ - matsukawa pounds into you until the sheets beneath you both are soaked with your fluids and the only noise leaving you are soft little "ah-ah-ah"'s.

★ - matsukawa loves to brush your hair from you eyes and watch as they cloud over with lust and want.

★ - matsukawa can't help but smirk and grow a bit hard when he sees you in your bathing suit.

★ - he loves sweet dirty talk.

★ - "can't help but touch you when you look so pretty just for me, baby."

★ - doesn't let you hide your face. "c'mon baby, let me see your face when you cum."

★ - is obsessed with eating you out. he loves the way you taste, and feels intoxicated when he's between your thighs. matsukawa issei is totally pussy drunk off you.

★ - he absolutely adores teasing you in public, watching you blush and bite your lip as your thighs rub together. you try so hard to maintain conversation with oikawa, iwaizumi, and hanamaki but you can't help the way you stutter and squirm as his hand brushes your clit, fingers touching you through your soaked panties.

★ - he loves it when you whine and cry for him.

★ "please," you gasp, reaching for him. he pins your hands above your head with one hand of his own, and your hips buck lightly. "i need you, issei."

★ - "shh, don't cry baby," he'll coo as he kisses your wet cheeks, "i'll touch you baby, i promise."

★ - he begs for just the tip after a stressful day at work, and he keeps his promise to go no further but you can't help the way you twitch and squirm. he'll hide his face in your neck, his hand firmly planted on your hip as he tries so hard not to bottom-out in you.

★ - laughs as your hands fumble with his belt, shaking and desperate for his cock.

★ - covers his mouth and hopes his groans are relatively quiet when you sneak under his desk while on a video call with his clients at the funeral home. tries his hardest to stay focused as you lick along his length and pop his tip into your mouth.

★ - loves semi-public sex. he'll fuck you in a closet at a family gathering, tease you under the table, grind against you behind the kitchen counter while everyone else is in the kitchen.

★ - has very high stamina and can easily go a handful of rounds. your pleasure always comes before his anyway.

[tsumusangxl]

꒰ ୨୧ ─ ・┈ ・ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈・┈ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ꒱꒱

Summary ʚ Hinata and you have been friends since childhood, you guys went through thick and thin. You helped Hinata to achieve his dreams and supported him without a doubt.... But everything changed after he graduated and moved to Brazil, leading to the fall out of your friendship and to a heartbreak.

Iwaizumi and you met through Social Media, having one mutual friend,the one and only Oikawa Toruu. You never saw each other in person, since he studied in the States and you were still living in Japan, but you both grew close quickly. And maybe some different emotions came to the surface. Will you be able to move on? Or will you forgive Hinata? 

Pairing ʚ Hinata Shoyou x F!reader x Iwaizumi Hajime

Genre ʚ SMAU, Fluff, childhood friend!reader, Angst, childhood friends to lovers (hinata), love triangle, reader involved (voting,etc.), kinda second chance, slight age gap, comfort, strangers to friends to lovers (iwa), flashbacks,

Warnings ʚ Swearing, disregarding feelings, more specific content warning will be given at the start of each chapter

Status ʚ ongoing

Updates ʚ irregular

Love meter ʚ

Hinata ʚ 4%

Iwaizumi ʚ 0%

꒰ ୨୧ ─ ・┈ ・ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈・┈ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ꒱꒱

Masterlist ʚ

[5 Idiots and a brain] / [MBSY hotshots] / [Oikawa hateclub]

Chapter ʚ

zero - the struggle

one - the decision

two - the explanation

three - the regret

four - the surprise

five - the denial

six - the broken toy

seven -

eight -

nine -

ten -

eleven -

twelfth -

...

꒰ ୨୧ ─ ・┈ ・ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈・┈ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ・┈ ─ ・┈꒱꒱

taglist ʚ @jojo23allegra @mjustag1rl @dazqa @gigiiiiislife

[flyingwargle]

whumptober day 1: panic attack

tw: panic attacks

iwaizumi knew today is going to be a bad one from the moment he woke up.

every step is akin to torture, leaden limbs refusing to cooperate with even the slightest movement. his gaunt expression stares back at him in the mirror, faintly encouraging him to take a day off. this wouldn't be the first time, nor the last, but the team has a practice match after school. their ace can't afford a mental health day, not when victory is on the line.

"morning, iwa-chan!" oikawa meets him on the corner of their block, a routine they've had since they were old enough to walk to school together. his best friend's chipper expression falls at iwaizumi's slumped shoulders and downturned eyes. "you look awful, even worse than usual. bad day?"

he nods. oikawa's smile is small, stretching his arm toward him. iwaizumi takes his hand, reassured by its strength, and lets him guide him to school.

morning practice is on the lighter side, which iwaizumi is grateful for. it's easy to turn his brain off for drills, guided by muscle memory and instinct. oikawa isn't as loud as usual, which is his teammates' cue that their ace is at the mercy of his anxiety, curbing their exuberance for his benefit.

at the end of practice, they change into their uniforms and head for the school building. oikawa hands iwaizumi a protein bar, leaves him with a gentle pat on the shoulder when they separate to their respective classrooms.

the buzz in his mind worsens as the day passes. iwaizumi doesn't retain anything from his lectures, barely takes any notes. at lunch, he stares at his bento while oikawa, hanamaki, and matsukawa chatter, ultimately reaching for the lid to put it away, untouched. that causes all conversation to cease, earning him an incredulous look from oikawa. "what?"

"you have to eat, iwa-chan," he says, stopping his hand. "we had morning practice, and a game after school. you need the energy."

"i'm not-"

"did you take your meds?" hanamaki asks.

he shakes his head. “they make me drowsy. i can’t fall asleep now.”

"i think that's better than this," matsukawa comments, gesturing with his chopsticks. "you aren't in any condition to play, anyway."

"i'll be fine," iwaizumi insists. "hanamaki is still out with his rolled ankle, and kunimi is absent. what kind of message are we sending, if all our regular spikers aren’t on the court?”

“it’s just a practice match,” oikawa points out. “it isn’t the end of the world, iwa-chan.” and yet, he can’t help but feel like it is, a tremor shaking his body at the idea of sitting out because of his anxiety. he isn’t that fragile. he can push passed this.

or so he thinks.

the end of the school day comes, and iwaizumi is back in the gym. jouzenji will arrive in an hour; in the meantime, he hardens his expression, directs his underclassmen and speaks with oikawa to finalize their line-up. “iwa-chan, you-“ he turns away, ignoring the rest of oikawa’s words to help their managers with the practice bibs.

jouzenji arrives, and after a quick warm-up, the match begins. iwaizumi starts in the back row, ready to receive. his heartbeat echoes in his ears, nearly drowning the whistle. the serve goes up, the ball flying across the net straight toward him.

shit, the ball is flying straight toward him. panic rises in his chest, raising his arms to receive, but it’s at an awkward angle, and it bounces out of bounds. the first point comes to jouzenji.

his heart lurches at the astonished looks around him. matsukawa claps his hands. “don’t mind,” he calls out. watari echoes him. the others turn away. iwaizumi gives a quick apology, avoiding oikawa’s eye.

watari picks up the second serve, and oikawa sets the rhythm. they go back and forth, and iwaizumi is rotated to the front. matsukawa serves, their opponents picking it up. matsukawa receives their spike, and iwaizumi makes his approach. he jumps, raises his arm. his fingers barely brush the ball.

it falls back on their side. iwaizumi looks at oikawa, hands still over his head. “iwa-chan-“ he tries to say.

“sorry. i’ll score the next one.” his limbs are still so heavy. same with his chest.

after a few rallies, he’s jumping for the spike again. a triple block rises over him, the ball floating in front of him. he musters his strength and spikes, a satisfying smash that echoes in his ears. except, the ball rebounds off the block and back onto the court. a point for jouzenji.

a chorus of don’t mind! arises. iwaizumi braces himself on his knees, breathless. he hears his opponents murmur behind him. are you sure that’s seijoh’s ace? was he always this pathetic? there are snickers and declarations of victory. his team is three points behind, jouzenji the first to reach 20. he hasn’t scored a single point, squandering every chance, being absolutely useless–

“iwaizumi.”

coach. he beckons him with his finger, and iwaizumi stumbles toward him. “i don’t want you to play in this condition. take a break.”

“i’m fine, i just–“

“it isn’t a suggestion, but an order. sit out.”

iwaizumi freezes. his replacement takes his place on the court. instead of sitting with hanamaki on the bench, he drags his feet to the locker room, shoving the door open, and sinking onto the nearest bench.

the anxiety that’s been building since the moment he woke up finally claims him.

his breaths are short. the air is sweltering. his chest hurts with every gasp, tears at the corners of his eyes. he squeezes them shut, tries to count his breaths like his therapist taught him, but his thoughts run rampant, a deafening symphony that makes him feel smaller and smaller.

you’re useless. you just left your team behind without scoring a single point. what kind of ace are you? useless, failure, don’t deserve to play, weak, weak, weak–

“hajime.” a voice cuts through the darkness, a bridge of light through the spiral. “hajime, listen to me, okay? let’s get your breathing under control, hm?”

iwaizumi gasps like a fish out of water. the voice is unperturbed, counts his breaths with a measured tone. a hand rests on his back, rubbing counterclockwise circles. “you’re doing well,” the voice soothes. a handkerchief touches his cheeks to dry his tears. “you’re safe with me, iwa-chan. you’re doing so well.”

that makes him open his eyes. he’s still in the locker room, oikawa seated beside him, still in his practice uniform, #1 bib over his shirt. iwaizumi tries to speak, his words caught in his throat. oikawa places a finger on his lips, shaking his head. “don’t talk, just breathe. it’s just us. take your time.”

the last of his panic recedes, leaving him boneless, as always. iwaizumi leans against oikawa, fresh wave of tears springing in his eyes. “why’re you here?” he rasps.

“do you really think i’d keep playing, knowing my best friend is having a panic attack? yahaba-chan is a good setter, you know. mattsun can take care of the team; we’re heading home.”

“what? but-“

“no buts. we’re going home and you’re going to take your meds. i asked makki to text auntie what happened, so she’ll make your comfort food, and i’ll feed you. then, you’re going to sleep. i’d say take a bath too, but that can wait.” oikawa turns to him, expression solemn. “it was dumb of you to play like this, iwa-chan. just because you aren’t physically hurt doesn’t mean you can pretend you’re fine.”

iwaizumi deflates. he used to give oikawa so much shit about overworking, but when it came to his own mental health, he always pushed through, even if it left him exhausted or worse, panicked. “sorry,” he mumbles.

oikawa shakes his head. “there’re more matches, you know. it’s okay to sit out when you have to. ready to go?” he stands first, supporting iwaizumi every step through changing and then out of the locker room. they leave with the match to their backs, the sounds of the court reminding iwaizumi of what’s to come, but only if he cares for himself better.

he’ll learn. he has to.

[chrysalind]

numeracy

pairing: hanamaki takahiro x reader x matsukawa issei wc: 2.7k tags: pre-relationship, fluff, light angst, angst w/ happy ending, polyam, jealousy, implied iwaoi

“Truth or dare?”

You grind the heel of your sandal into the already packed sand below your feet. The air in front of you, warmed by the bonfire, must be at least ten degrees hotter than the dark void of brisk summer night at your back.

Hanamaki knocks his knee against yours, as if to egg you on, and the heat in your cheeks only intensifies. You make a small note of correction: the difference in temperature must be closer to fifteen.

“Truth,” you reply, not even considering the alternative. A chorus of groans sound from the other students and you count eight pairs of eyes on you, sixteen in total. Most are half-lidded from drink, but Matsukawa’s, you note, as they lazily meet yours, are just always like that. The smirk he wears is foreboding.

“Have you ever—” he leans forward and you swallow. Others look on in bated breath.

“—been with more than one person at a time?”

You blink, confused by the openness of the question. “Like…sex?”

He shrugs and shadows move jauntily across his torso as he waves his hand. “Sex, relationships, whatever.”

He says it casually, like he’s asking you whether you prefer coffee or tea. Like the discussion of polyamory, is as simple and commonplace as saying you like both drinks, depending on your mood.

But maybe his demeanour is so startling to you because you’re so sorely lacking in experience. After all, it was just last year that you’d finally grown comfortable being that close with one person, much less two. Yes, two is a good number for you; even, divisible, and simple enough.

“No,” you shake your head, grateful for an easy answer. “I’ve never even… I’ve never even dated more than one person at once.” You punctuate your answer with a laugh—a short giggle that you force out of nervousness more than anything. Thankfully, others—and Hanamaki, to your right—react in kind.

The game moves on when you call upon Oikawa, who theatrically accepts the dare of taking a moonlit dip in the ocean. As he runs off toward the nearby shore, Iwaizumi, who makes a big show of groaning and standing up, stalks off into the dark after him, mumbling something about making sure he doesn’t drown himself.

Their departure pauses the game and drunken chatter breaks out among the group almost immediately.

“You cold?” Hanamaki asks, long lashes casting shadows atop his cheeks. In the light of the fire, you can see two of the three freckles that sit on his left cheekbone, forming the base of what you’d previously observed to be an almost perfect equilateral triangle.

“A little,” you admit, feeling the cider slosh in its can as you make a show of rubbing your bare upper arm.

He shrugs off his zip-up sweater and drapes it over your shoulders, blanketing you in its warmth. You revel in the feeling—in this display of kindness, of affection—that had only grown more frequent between the two of you in the past few weeks. He leans back, as if to appraise you in this state, and a soft maritime breeze ruffles his bangs. One, you think, is more than enough for you. Especially if the one happens to be Hanamaki.

Oikawa returns in the next minute, dripping wet and glorious, wearing a teeth-chattering grin that doesn’t relent until he’s parked squarely in front of the fire. He had evidently neglected to take off his clothes before running into the surf and was now wearing a soaked pair of board shorts and Iwaizumi’s hoodie.

The other boy isn’t far behind him, a long-suffering scowl on his features as he takes his previous place. No one mentions that his clothes are also noticeably damp in many places, but a few giggle.

“Now,” Oikawa says, sweeping his gaze across the circle of their peers. He pushes back a lock of sopping wet hair, the action far more charming than could be replicated by anyone else. He zeroes in on a girl near the periphery of their group; a doe-eyed track athlete who you’d never seen out of athleisure.

“Sumire,” he singsongs, drawing out all three syllables of her name, and she leans back, playfully rolling her eyes. From the way she sways, you can tell that she’s had a good amount to drink, not unlike everyone else.

“Dare,” she puts forward with a grin and a wave of oooh’s ripple throughout your small group.

Oikawa makes a thoughtful noise, the fire in front of him dialing the mischievous light in his eyes up to a ten. “I dare you to kiss either Haruka or…” He scans the group once more, never pausing until—

“…Makki.”

Your mouth goes dry as you watch the two men share a smirk. Beside Sumire, Haruka tosses her hair and laughs before jokingly dodging a kiss from the taller girl.

“I guess Haruka won’t kiss me,” Sumire sighs dramatically before standing up. She strides across the circle, the drink making her swaying look more alluring than clumsy. Jealousy roils in you stomach, bitter and acerbic and it takes all your willpower to keep your hands unclenched.

It takes her all of four steps to reach the two of you, her flip-flops stopping just short of the edge of your shared towel. She crouches down in front of Hanamaki, who holds her stare with his own amused gaze. In your peripheral vision, you can see the others watching eagerly, their cheeks high with colour. Even Iwaizumi can’t feign disinterest. Matsukawa’s eyes meet yours and he dips his chin, the evening shadows masking his expression.

“You okay with this?” you hear Hanamaki say, just a fraction louder than a whisper. You turn to him, hope ballooning in your chest, but he isn’t looking at you.

He isn’t looking at you at all.

So it’s a mystery why you remain rooted in place, his sweater around your shoulders, and a desperate, ugly feeling in your chest that only digs its claws in deeper as she leans in.

He tilts his head to receive her and you watch—you all watch—as the kiss unfolds. It’s quick at first, just a brief peck on her lips that causes a laugh to bubble from her lips. She closes the distance again and the kiss morphs in nature; deepening into something less chaste. You freeze as she stumbles forward, her high ponytail fanning over to brush his cheek as he guides her into a straddle.

Nervous laughter sounds across the group and someone even whistles.

The jealousy within you is untenable now, bolstered by the white-hot humiliation that floods your system. You know that you hadn’t imagined the growing closeness between you—the late night texts, the flirty jokes, the invitation to come to this bonfire. So why are you being made to feel so stupid? Why did you have to be here at all?

The thought finally jars something within you, undoing the petrification that had previously taken hold of your limbs. You count three breaths, one inhale and one exhale each, before you uncross your legs to stand. Mumbling something about needing to use the bathroom, you stumble beyond the warm reach of the fire and into the cool night beyond.

Without the heat of the day, the grits of sand that find their way under your feet are damp and uncomfortably cold. You don’t let it deter you, however, as you make a beeline towards the lapping sounds of the shore. Salty air fills your lungs and you sniffle, trying to ignore the burn of moisture in your eyes as you make your way further towards the surf. Thankfully, there are few other groups tonight, scattered so far across the beach that it doesn’t take long for the din of drunken voices to be drowned out by the ocean.

You only stop once you reach a lifeguard tower, steadying your weight against the paint-chipped railing as you try to ground yourself. Your phone lets you know it’s almost midnight and you have half a mind to hike back to the parking lot and call a ride. After all, there’s nothing for you here.

“Hey.”

You whip your head around to face the sudden intrusion.

“It’s just—jeez, that’s fucking bright.” Matsukawa shields his eyes as you turn your phone’s flashlight on him.

“Matsukawa,” you say, putting your phone away.

“You can just call me Issei.” His tall figure, now shrouded in darkness, comes to sit next to you on the steps of the tower.

“I mean, we’ve known each other for…a year now?”

“Seven months,” you correct softly, pulling Hanamaki’s sweater tighter across your arms. “But o-okay…Issei.”

The silence between you stretches and settles, feeling almost comfortable as you sit together and look out at the dark horizon.

“You know it probably didn’t mean anything,” he says, as you slide onto the step above him.

You brush a damp layer of sand from your lower calf and consider feigning ignorance. In the end, you’re unable to shake it off.

“It didn’t look like that,” you say bitterly. “It seemed like he was having a lot of fun, actually.”

“Oh come on,” he says, his curls ruffling softly in the breeze, “you know what Makki’s like. He’s just down for anything.”

You sigh. You know this to be true, you just thought that maybe, just maybe, that something would change because something between you had changed. At least you thought it did.

“Trust me,” Matsukawa says, shoulder brushing against your hip as he leans back. “He likes you.”

“Really?” you breathe, catching the dark shine of his eyes when he turns to look at you.

“Yeah, I mean,” the wooden step creaks as he places his weight on it, “isn’t it obvious?” His gaze flickers down to your Cupid’s bow.

You swallow, suddenly wondering if he can see the stray smudge of tinted gloss on your upper chin.

“Issei,” you begin, your own voice sounding far away. “Do you think he thinks that I’m…”

He tilts his head. “That you’re…?”

“Pretty,” you utter, just above a whisper. You clear your throat. “Do you think he thinks I’m pretty?”

Matsukawa softens. “Of course he does,” he murmurs, shifting to sit on the step beside you.

“I know I do.”

“Really?” you blurt out, cheeks warm.

“Yes.” He gives you a sidelong glance. “I think you’re beautiful.”

Your next action, fuelled by the lingering buzz of liquor, is far clumsier than you’d like. You lean towards him and clumsily crush your lips against his—or at least where you think his lips are—only to miss and bump against his jaw. Thankfully, he only readjusts and smiles into your next kiss, his hand settling on your waist as he moves in closer.

His fingers ghost across your cheek and you draw in a stuttering breath, your mind spinning as he cages you against the worn steps. He plants a knee between your legs, nudging apart your thighs and if you were any less drunk, you think you’d feel a little bit of shame for being so pliant. However, even the thought of it is extinguished when he dips into the crook of your neck and drags his tongue across the hollow of your throat.

“I-Issei.” you squirm, your chest fluttering as he slips his hand up the hem of your shirt. He moves back up to kiss you, open-mouthed and languid as you continue to moan into his mouth.

It’s only a few seconds later when a cough sounds somewhere to your right and you yelp, scrambling backward as Issei looks up.

“Hey man,” he says to Hanamaki, still caging you beneath him.

“Oh my god,” is the only thing you’re able to utter. Your eyes dart between the two men, your chest tightening as the shock causes your limbs to lock in place.

“What’s up?” Hanamaki asks, sounding entirely calm. Amused, even.

Matsukawa’s eyes land on your shocked expression and it takes three whole seconds for him to back off of you.

“You know,” he replies, winking at you before turning away, “just hanging out.”

“Can I—?” Hanamaki asks, motioning towards you and Matsukawa stands up.

“Yeah, for sure.”

You watch as Matsukawa jaunts off the last step of the tower, steps softened by the sand as he walks away. Swallowing, you stare down at the ground, your pulse thundering in your ears as Hanamaki approaches you.

��Hey,” he says softly, wood creaking with his weight as he takes a seat beside you. “Can we talk?”

An agonizing mix of embarrassment and anger causes your throat to stick.

“Sorry about before, I just…” He reclines, planting an elbow between you. “It was just a stupid dare.”

“Didn’t look that way to me,” you snark before cringing at your own hypocritical nature.

“I know,” he mumbles. “But I promise that I don’t like Sumire like that. And I know that it was fucked up for me to kiss her like that in front of you, especially when—”

You glance up at him.

“—especially when I know how you feel about me.”

Blood rushes to your cheeks and you snap your gaze away again. You hear the water recede across the shore.

“Do you like Mattsun?” he asks as you watch a small wave lap across the sand.

“What?” Because that wasn’t the question you were expecting.

“Mattsun,” he reiterates, a half-smile playing at his lips. “Do you like him?”

“I—” you knit your brow, brain scrambling to piece together an appropriate response. You try not to think of your neck, still sensitive from the light drag of his teeth across your pulse point. “N-not in the way that I… I mean, I don’t really know him as well as—”

“It’s okay,” Hanamaki continues, entirely unperturbed. “I know he likes you.”

“Oh.” You twist your fingers into the sleeve of his sweater.

“I like you too,” he adds and you blink. “I like you a lot.”

“I-is that so?” you reply, stunned. You’ve thought about this moment in a dozen different ways, cycling through different settings, details, and ways he could finally, finally say something, but never in a million years could you have predicted this.

“I think we should spend more time together,” he suggests with an easy smile. Not so far in the distance, you spot Matsukawa near the shore. “All three of us, I mean.”

He takes your hand in his, rubbing his thumb into the soft flesh of your palm.

“Would you like that?”

The gears turn slowly in your head, the situation still feeling hard to grasp as all the point are laid out in front of you.

You bite the inside of your cheek. “Can I think about it?”

“Of course,” he says breezily, before pulling you to your feet. “Take all the time you need.”

As if sensing the timing of the conclusion of your conversation, Matsukawa makes his way back toward you.

“We should really get back though.” Hanamaki says, as he leads you down the tower. “Before Iwaizumi thinks we all ran drunk into the sea and calls the coast guard.”

He keeps his hand in yours as you make your way back up the beach and Matsukawa falls in step beside you. You look up when his knuckles brush against the side of your arm and he gives you a knowing smirk.

Two is a good number for you, you think as you tentatively return his smile.

But three?

Three might be even better.

[sophiria]

Shaken series

a soft yandere tale

main pairings: Matsukawa x fem!reader x Hanamaki, Sakusa x fem!reader x Atsumu, Suna x fem!reader, fem!reader x undisclosed

warnings: 18+, dubcon due to alcohol in the first chapter, explicit sexual content and explicit language, manipulation, angsty undertones, non-consensual photo-taking and sharing in the first and second chapter, moral ambiguity, mind games, power imbalance, more warnings and tags to be found on ao3

Highball (first chapter, ft. Matsukawa x you x Hanamaki)

Sour (second chapter, ft. past Sakusa x you x Atsumu and present Matsukawa x you x Hanamaki)

Mudslide (published only on ao3. It's the third chapter, ft. Suna x you, plus an 'unnamed' male character x you. Iwaizumi, Matsukawa and Hanamaki also appear.)

[iluvangel]

˚˖𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒✧˚.🎀༘⋆ 𝑴𝑰𝑵𝑰𝑳𝑰𝑺𝑻 ˚˖𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒✧˚.🎀༘⋆

• HAIKYUU •

• will be updated regularly

★ K A R A S U N O 🏐🐦‍⬛:

WHOLE TEAM ❗️

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★ N E K O M A 🏐🐈‍⬛:

★ A O B A J O H S A I 🏐🏰:

★ D A T E T E C H 🏐⛓️:

WHOLE TEAM ❗️

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★ F U K U R Ō D A N I 🏐🦉:

★ S H I R A T O R I Z A W A 🏐📢:

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★ M O R E T H A N O N E🏐:

•their reactions to u sleeping while cuddling a pillow

★ O T H E R 🏐:

( I don’t like their schools but I love these characters)

[haezen]

more slytherin sakusa kiyoomi please 🥹

hi anon! this one had been in the works for a while, but you inspired me to finish. thanks for sending in a request ily.

ATTENTION: read this part first because it will make more sense. but, if you read this part alone, i guess it will still work on its own.

pairing: slytherin!sakusa kiyoomi x reader genre: hurt/comfort, angst to fluff wordcount: 3.6k

happy reading <3

masterlist

You and your best friend, Hanamaki Takahiro, were currently standing together underneath the pavilion with the sole purpose of watching your mutual friends on the Slytherin team. 

The players were waiting for the rainstorm to pass before resuming their practice: all huddled around in a circle with their hoods up. It was nearly impossible to see past the rain due to the force of the wind and rain whipping around the pavilion the two of you stood under. 

Makki had suggested that the two of you go watch your friends practice this week because they had a big game coming up soon. You had nothing better to do and Oikawa had begged you to come watch him specifically as he claimed he needed your praise to calm his nerves.  He made a scene of asking you, even going as far as bending down on one knee with a rose he had conjured up on the spot—his crazy, romantic gestures always made you laugh and you couldn’t help but accept knowing that he simply just wanted you to feel included in something he loved. 

You squint your eyes with the intention of trying to tell the players apart, but with the intensity of the rainstorm, you found it difficult.

“Looking for someone in particular, aren’t you?” Hanamaki smirked knowingly, nudging your shoulder with enough force to make you lose your balance. 

“I swear, one day I might just strangle you in your sleep. Then, you’ll really regret ever being mean to me.”  

As you regained your balance from Makki’s shove, you huffed in frustration at how observant he could be. 

“Oh, but I thought you could handle a little roughin’ up?”  Makki sported a shit-eating grin with the quirk of his brow. “Can’t you, (Name)?” 

He cackled as you reared your fist back to punch him in the chest. Although you made a show of winding your fist back to hit him, when your fist made contact, you put no real strength behind it. He cackles even louder when you pout and are unable to respond with a witty comment like you usually would. It’s like he’s proud of himself for bringing up your sworn-to-death secret; you can only side eye him from your peripheral, trying to move on from the topic at hand as soon as possible.

You fight off the urge to scrunch your nose up in shame as you recall the truth you confessed to your friends when playing Truth or Dare a couple months ago.

“What’s something you’ve never told anybody else?” Oikawa looks in your direction after he reads a ‘Truth’ question off a card. 

You and your friends sat in a circle on the floor, surrounded by the darkness of the Slytherin commons; it was extremely late at night, but there was no stopping Makki and Mattsun once they set their minds on something.  The only light in the room was the dim light from the logs that were burning in the fireplace. You sat across from Oikawa, staring blankly at the floor, desperately trying to think of something shallow to say in response. 

“(Name), make it something juicy or else you’re wasting my and Mattsun’s precious time.” Makki, who was sitting on your left, leaned in close enough for his warm breath to fan your face and you covered it on instinct. 

“Oh god…okay.” 

You spread your fingers apart to peek at your friends who were anxiously waiting for your answer. 

“I’ll spill. But only if you guys promise to never bring it up again.” You tore your hands from your face and wrapped your arms around yourself, trying to accept the ugly fact that you’re going to tell all of your closest friends one of your biggest fantasies.

 Sugawara and Kuroo both nodded in your direction while Makki and Mattsun shared knowing looks; a look that meant they’d store this information in their memory forever. You groaned at the realization but carried on anyway. 

“(Name)-chan, it stays between us. Promise.”Oikawa smiled and extended his pinky towards you. You returned the smile and graciously wrapped your own around his to seal the promise. 

“Okay, so…”

“(NAME)!” Mattsun shouts when he realizes you’re trying to stall; he’s extremely impatient in every aspect of life, even when playing a simple game of Truth or Dare. He groans, stretches his legs out dramatically, and falls backwards to lay on his back. You seize the opportunity to playfully slap his stomach, which causes him to immediately roll over to avoid another.  

“My truth is…that I secretly want someone to maybe…manhandle me?” You hesitated as you spoke each word, eyes flickering to each of your friends' faces to gauge their reactions. They all burst out in a laughter so contagious that you couldn’t help but join in with a laugh of your own. 

Makki especially found this confession of yours the funniest, considering he was the only one who knew the person you secretly wished to ‘manhandle’ you.

“I told you to never bring that up again, you idiot!” You groan as you cover your red face, not wanting to see Makki’s teasing eyes and wide smile.

 One of Makki’s most notable traits is his brilliant memory – he never fails to forget the things you thought you told him in confidence, bringing up something you forgot you told him in the first place. 

Since he’s been your best friend for so long, you know he truly meant no harm in teasing you. When he remembers the shocked expression that crossed your face just a moment ago, he clutches his aching stomach and wipes the tears that threatened to fall from his fit of laughter.

“I really can’t stand you.”

“That was so good, really. The look on your face was priceless. I wish Suna was over here to capture it.”

You cross your arms over your chest and give him a glare. 

“You remember that dare that you never did?”

“Yeah?” You ask hesitantly, afraid of what Makki might say next.

He shoves his hands in the pockets of his trousers while motioning his head towards the group of guys huddled around for cover near the field.  You followed the direction he tilted his head towards, only for them to land on Sakusa Kiyoomi, your year-long crush. You met your best friend’s honeyed-colored eyes with a stony glare, watching as his smirk grew to the cheesiest grin you’d ever seen on his face.

“I think I got a perfect dare for you. I’m redeeming it now.”

“Now?!” You yell in disbelief. 

The team turns around to find the source of the noise, and even over the sound of rain, your voice carries over. You can’t help but look for Sakusa amongst everyone, and surely enough, you catch his attention.

Makki stares at you once he realizes the two of you made eye contact with one another. He relishes the faraway look in your eyes as you watch Sakusa fend off a clingy Miya Atsumu. Your best friend watches the fleeting look of admiration that graces your face suddenly morph into one of annoyance as you turn to him again.

“Why now?” You whisper-yell, eyebrows furrowing.

He remains silent and you immediately read his mind. You feel like throwing up and you fidget with the (your house colors) tie that hangs loosely around your neck.

“I can’t, ‘Hiro!”

He shakes his head with a soft smile, reaching to adjust your tie for you once he remembers that you fidget when you’re nervous. A habit that you’ve never been able to break.

“You won’t know until you try.” 

Your eyes land on Sakusa once more, mind racing as you thought of all the times you imagined confessing to the brooding Slytherin. Hanamaki pushes you forward, effectively tearing you out of your thoughts, and you stumble forwards.

“Don’t be such a pussy, (Name). It doesn’t suit you.” 

Something about those teasing words inspires a spiteful courage inside of you. You whip around, “Y’know what, fine! Fine, ‘Hiro. I’ll do it. ” 

“Finally!” He exclaims loudly as you pull up your hood and make your way to Sakusa.  

Hanamaki holds his breath as he watches you run to the field and over to the cover where the players are all standing underneath.

You’re soaked and out of breath when you reach the canopy, partly because you’re out of shape and partly because you’re scared half to death to confess to Sakusa Kiyoomi out of all people. None of them notice your figure approaching until you beckon to Sakusa. He points to himself, silently asking for your confirmation that it’s him you want to talk to. You nod as you inhale deeply to compose your nerves; he steps forward out of the group of players that move over to accommodate his large frame, and gestures to move over to the side, behind the large stands – away from prying eyes and eavesdroppers – for a little privacy.

Some of the guys whistle but you ignore them all while standing in the face of Sakusa. 

“Hey.” You say as you’re still trying to catch your breath.

“Hi.” He responds, uncomfortable and oddly enough, he might even feel curious as to why you had come over to talk to him.

His curly locks are damp from the rain and he runs a hand down his face because the raindrops trickle down his forehead. He’s stupidly attractive and you hate it. Damn you, Sakusa Kiyoomi.

Sakusa generally feels uncomfortable in the presence of women, but he feels even more so in your presence. He thought he had gotten off easy by establishing a friendly exchange with you, with bringing you tea every other day, he thought that he wouldn’t have to hold a true conversation with you.  But you manage to surprise him yet again; he was shocked to see you approaching the team and even more shocked when his teammates nudged his side, trying to tell him that it was him you were asking for.

Over the time you’d spent admiring Sakusa from afar, you’ve gathered that he isn’t skilled in hiding his true thoughts; you often can decipher his mood by just watching his expression change with the tiniest movements. 

He raises his eyebrows ever so slightly as he watches you catch your breath. You know that he’s thinking: ‘What is it?’

“I won’t take up too much of your time-”

“You’re not.” He assures you pointedly. “We’re waiting for the storm to pass anyway.”

You nod in appreciation, grateful that Sakusa (famously known for his cold demeanor) was reassuring you in this nerve-wracking moment. You inhale once more, letting the humid air fill up your lungs, and blow it out with your lips pursed. You’re incredibly nervous and it shows. The realization that you’re about to confess to one of the most coveted guys in Hogwarts is already nauseating, yet you’re more worried about the fact that Makki is knowingly waiting for you to return. You can already see his face: pink eyebrows wiggling and his lips curled up in a devilish grin. Your best friend makes you sick to your stomach and you think that he deserves a smack on the shoulder for putting you up to something so terrifyingly embarrassing as confessing to the Sakusa Kiyoomi.

“This might be ridiculous because–well, we don’t even really know each other.” You start, pulling your robe tighter against your body because you don’t know what to do with your hands. “I think that I might just be curious. Okay, that’s not the right word.”

Sakusa’s curiosity is growing by the second. At this point, he’s even overcoming his uneasiness talking to women solely because of how nervous you are — he might even pity you at this moment. Sakusa really wants to interrupt you and urge you to, ‘spit it out,’ but he has a soft spot for you; so, he stays silent and waits for you to finish.

“Ok.” You shake your head from side to side as you imagine you’re shaking the nerves away. It’s almost endearing. Almost. 

“I just came over here to say that I like you, Sakusa Kiyoomi.” You watch as his eyes widen but you push through it. “And I really like the tea you make for me. You make really good tea. I don’t really expect anything, but I wanted to tell you that.”

He’s shocked. Sure, he’s received plenty of confessions from girls before, but he’s never received a confession from a person he’s actually been interested in. Predictably, Sakusa can’t help but let the shock wash over him. His eyes still wide as he takes in the information, and as it processes, he feels like his whole body is on fire. The heat that soon overtakes his body travels up the back of his neck and his cheeks; surely, he’ll accept your confession in a heartbeat. He’s even imagined it. Yet, he stands there in shock as you believe he’s trying to figure out how to let you down easy.

“I-I’m sorry.” You splutter out as the inevitable embarrassment of being rejected by your crush sets in. “Okay, well. Have a good practice or-” You look out to the field and realize that they might not even have practice. At this point, you’re tripping over your words and you just want to escape; you need to escape the shell-shocked expression on Sakusa’s face.  “I’ll see you around, Sakusa.”

He says nothing as you hurriedly walk back to the pavilion where your best friend is waiting for you. He watches as you disappear from around the stands, and he continues to watch your figure get smaller as you walk away. You finally reach the pavilion and grab Makki’s arm to drag him away.

He feels dread fill his heart at the realization that he just blew his chance with you. Sakusa feels like a coward. How could he have messed this up so badly?

When you reached Makki, the grin on his face disappeared almost immediately when he saw the look on your face. 

You’re trying your hardest to keep your cool and you’re trying even harder to push down the humiliating fact that you just got rejected like every other girl who has confessed to Sakusa. You’re accepting the fact — in real time — that you’re not any different from them.

“C’mon.” You grumble and that’s all you can manage to say because you don’t trust your voice. You grab the sleeve of Makki’s robe harshly and pull him along with you.

“What happened?”

“I’m a fool.” You mumble under your breath. “I’m so fucking stupid. Why did I ever think that a guy like him would like me back?”

As you drag Makki along, the two of you are speed-walking to reach the doors of the school. In the process, you get soaked even further than you already were. Meanwhile, Makki’s observant eyes are raking over your face for answers; he’s hoping that he can find some while just looking at your side profile.

The rain pours down on top of you and Makki and you finally reach the doors. You swing them open with such force that the back of the door hits the wall. 

At this moment, Makki is too afraid to speak up. He feels guilty because it wasn’t for him urging you to do your dare, you would’ve never been upset in the first place. You wouldn’t have gotten rejected because – Makki knows – you would’ve never found the courage to confess to Sakusa. He thought that if he had dared you to confess, that your dream of a reciprocated love would come true. But he was wrong.

“I’m sorry, (Name). But I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what happened.” Makki finally manages to stop you in your tracks as he stopped following you.

Your back is facing him because you don’t want to cry. You know that if you meet your best friend’s concerned filled eyes, that you will definitely break down. There’s also the fear that he won’t get the hint and will tease you about being rejected. 

“He said nothing.” You say dryly. “I told him that I liked him and he just stood there.”

He’s silent for a moment before speaking up.

“He doesn’t deserve you.” Is all Makki can come up with. 

Does he comfort you? He’s not entirely sure how to do that. Or should he hit you with the truth? Sure. It’s what you deserve. You deserve the truth and Makki believes that there will be no one great enough to deserve you. Not even Sakusa. 

“I’m going back to my dorm.” You whisper under your breath and you don’t care if he heard you. 

All you want is to take a warm shower and hide in your room. There’s nothing that can save you from the humiliation you suffered except for solitude.

So you do just that. You rush to your dorm and ignore the sounds of the water dripping onto the floor, the noise that your soaked shoes make, and all the stares along the way. You take a shower and let the water run down your back. Then, you crawl into bed and cover yourself up with blankets for the rest of  the day until you fall asleep.

When you wake up the next morning, you contemplate whether or not you’ll visit the library. Will Sakusa be there, sitting in his spot? Will he spare you a pitiful glance once he sees you beeline for your own table? You don’t even want to run through all the possibilities of what could happen because you’ll talk yourself out of going. And you desperately need to go study.

Ultimately, you end up going because you would rather die than lose a day of studying a month before exams. 

You walk into the library with your head down, staring at your shoes. You’re terrified that Sakusa’s going to be sitting in that spot, seemingly taunting you with all the ‘could haves.’ Some part of you is afraid that simply seeing him would make you fall into a pit of despair.

He’s not there. 

You slump down into your spot with relief, letting your head rest on the back of your chair. You close your eyes, silently thanking whatever higher being for Sakusa not being here at this moment.

But then you hear the sound of approaching footsteps. Your instinct forces you to open your eyes, and like out of your worst nightmare, Sakusa is standing behind you but he’s upside down due to your position.

You feel the bile daring to come up your throat and you want to scream out of frustration and embarrassment.  You sit up and turn around to face him, your hands gripping the back of your chair until they turn white. When you say nothing– because what is there to say? – he starts first.

“Hi.” He says awkwardly. “Can I sit with you for a minute?” 

You’re confused and he understands. Sakusa isn’t sure how he managed to ruin something so fast yesterday. He’s convinced that everything he touches – he ruins.

 He waits for your response and you nod hesitantly, rotating your body as he walks to sit in the chair across from you. When your eyes meet his dark ones, you think that he is avoiding your gaze like he’s nervous. He’s wearing his mask and he unexpectedly wraps his fingers around the string hanging behind his ears, pulling his mask down to show his face to you.

When Sakusa watched you leave yesterday, Atsumu emerged from around the back of the stands where he was crouching behind to listen to your confession. He yelled, “You idiot ‘Omi!” and proceeded to scold Sakusa for being so cold.

Sakusa definitely got an earful from Atsumu, but it brought him back to reality. He knew that he had to fix things with you, even though he’s not used to repairing any damaged relationship in his life; something in him wanted to give this a try.

He knew that he didn’t want to apologize right away in fear that you'd run off. He’d even rehearsed ways in which he’d ask you, but only because Atsumu made him practice – Atsumu knows that he’s not the best with words, but Sakusa is even more inept.

“Would you like to go to this cafe with me?” He asked painfully, averting his eyes to the side because he wasn’t sure he’d be able to ask if he was looking at your face. “I heard that the tea is good there–the flavor that you like.”

Your heart dropped at the question. Is this a pity invite or a cruel joke? No, you deduce, Sakusa wouldn’t be one to take part in such cruel jokes.

“I don’t want you to take me somewhere because you feel like you have to.”

“I want to.” And his attention returns to you. Under his gaze, you feel small, yet you somehow believe him – believe that he’s being genuine.

 Is a guy like Sakusa, who is so full of doubt and animosity towards strangers, capable of forming a connection with someone like you?

“Okay.” You nod for yourself while wiping your clammy hands on the material of your skirt. “I’ll go.”

You see his shoulders drop and you realize he’s relieved. You smile unknowingly and he catches a glimpse of your fleeting expression. 

“Let’s go.” He says as he gets up, pulling his mask back over his nose and mouth while simultaneously collecting his things.

“Let’s go?” You repeat in confusion.

“Yeah,” Sakusa verifies as he stands by your seat, unintentionally towering over you. “I have to make it up to you.” He mumbles, almost incoherently, behind his mask.

You wordlessly listen to him, packing up your textbooks and other materials to stuff them all into your bag. As you do so, you’re trying to get over the rapid pounding of your heart.

“And you can call me Kiyoomi.”

[distant-screaming]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Haikyuu!! Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei Characters: Hanamaki Takahiro, Matsukawa Issei Additional Tags: Angst, Poetry, No Dialogue, Melancholy, Confessions, Best Friends Series: Part 5 of Whumptober 2024 Summary:

the steps to stealing a cloud, laid out in careful detail. follow at your own risk.

(or: a poem about feelings - or more specifically, falling in love with your best friend.)

[rosy-126]

We’ll Meet Again In The Stars

Trigger warning: suicide

Oikawa has always liked Iwaizumi. Since the first day he saw him, he knew that he was in love. Iwaizumi was never the type to attract a lot of people. Usually it was Oikawa who got all the attention.

(Iwaizumi, Hanamaki, and Matsukawa has made countless jokes that Oikawa even attracted Ushijima.)

Oikawa knew that he had a chance with his beloved Iwa-chan. If Iwaizumi chose anyone it would be him.

But it wasn’t.

After they parted ways for college and university, Iwaizumi met someone whom he was interested in. She was everything to him. He was everything to her.

Oikawa returned to his plain apartment after a long day at work. He checked the mail as usual. (Not there was usually anything important there.) So you can imagine his surprise when he opened it up to find Iwaizumi’s wedding invitation.

Last he knew Iwaizumi was single! Oikawa’s mind flooded with so many thoughts.

When?

How?

Why?

Why not him?

Oikawa thought that he would be the one with Iwaizumi. He was happy but…

Oikawa was honestly still pouting when he was on the plane back to Miyagi. Not that there was anything he could do.

Oikawa sighed as he rung the doorbell. A few seconds passed. Then… an all too familiar face opened the door.

“IWA-CHAN!!” Oikawa practically squealed at the sight.

“Shut up Shittykawa,” replied Iwaizumi.

“Heheh,” Oikawa ruffled his hair, “Sorry. Just excited to see you.”

Iwaizumi just rolled his eyes and let him inside. After a quick house tour, some introductions, and catching up, it was time for Oikawa to go back to the hotel he rented.

Oikawa was glad Iwaizumi found someone. She was nice and sweet. She seemed so perfect compared to him.

Oikawa mentally slapped himself. He’d promised himself that he’d stop comparing himself with others. This wasn’t even about volleyball!

The soft city sounds lulled Oikawa to sleep.

A few days later:

Iwaizumi walked glumly to the cemetery.

One second Oikawa was sleeping on a hotel bed, the next he was found dead.

He hung himself!

Why would he even think about that!

Iwaizumi postponed the wedding with everyone’s agreement. It felt wrong to be so happy when his childhood best friend suicided.

Police had found a note in Oikawa’s hand that read “For Iwaizumi Hajime”.

Iwaizumi was surprised at first. But he opened the letter anyways.

Hey Iwa-chan

I just needed to tell you something before I go. I love you. I always have. But I’m happy you found someone to be happy with. Maybe one day we’ll meet again in the stars.

Love Tooru

Iwaizumi started to tear up, “Shittykawa. That idiot!”

He started to cry even harder.

Choking down his tears he said, “But, yeah. Maybe one day we will meet again in the stars.”

“I’ll always be here with you Iwa-chan.”

[rishiguro]

INTRODUCTION; IWA'S SQUAD

(y/n)‘s squad

fun facts !

after finishing his studies, iwa came back to japan and is now an athletic trainer in tokyo

oikawa lives in argentina, but visits his family and friends regularly (especially during off-season)

mattsun and makki live next door to each other

oikawa‘s twitter header is made by makki

kyotani kept in touch with iwaizumi after he graduated high school

evanescent

/ɛvəˈnɛs(ə)nt,iːvəˈnɛs(ə)nt/ — “soon passing out of sight, memory, or existence; quickly fading or disappearing.”

mlist | previous | next

[lodi-writes]

Little drabble based on @mintmatcha 's Soggy fics, I think about them occasionally, usually alone while cycling through miscellaneous shower thoughts, and this time I couldn't get it out of my head so I had to do something about it lol (tw angst and character death)

...

Life is hardly ever fair - you accepted that long ago, years before you had ever met Makki. But once you did meet him, your confidence in that fact faltered, flickered like a candle in a gentle breeze. You even allowed yourself for fleeting moments in the dead of night to believe that maybe the universe was saying "it's your turn to be happy." That was all, of course, destroyed by that same universe as easily as a fruit fly being squished the moment you heard his diagnosis. That was the true moment in which you admitted fully, to your core, that life is hardly ever fair. So why then, as you sat at his bedside, holding his hand long past his last breath, were you cursing the universe? Why then, as you watched grim men take his lifeless body out of the room, all but unrecognizable from illness, did you scream and cry at them to bring him back? Why, if you already accepted how unfair it would be? You had already grieved him long before he left, yet that last glimmer of hope he held onto (perhaps on your behalf) being torn away from the world was so much worse than you could have ever imagined.

[rintarousgirl]

HAUNTING ME

a hanamaki takahiro smau <3

❀ - SYPNOSIS

y/n and hanamaki are best friends, or at least, you were in high school. growing up, you always had the biggest crush on your childhood best friend hanamaki takahiro, but after an unfortunate fallout between the two of you, you promised yourself you wouldn't let your feelings be toyed like that again. that is, until you run into him years in the future. now, you're both very successful models, stuck in the same PR photo shoot. after being featured on the cover of multiple fashion magazines, fans love the dyanmic between you two and your managers set up a pr relationship. how could you deal with hanamaki takahiro, your cruel ex from high school, now butting into your career? simple answer is, you couldn't.

❀ - WARNINGS

there will be alcohol and some suggestive stuff throughout the fic, but there will be warnings before each chapter for sensitive stuff relating specifically to that chapter. overall the fic deals with toxic relationships as well.

teasers

teaser 1 \ teaser 2

profiles

"people on magazine covers (+ y/n)" & "makimaki's stalkers"

chapters (note: chapter titles are submit to change!)

PART ONE: ghosts of my past 01. y/n's girlies 02. keeping up with maki 03. lights, cameras, action 04. stars shine 05. can't believe it, won't believe it 06. subtly 07. about whispers 08. out of my hands 09. keys to my heart 10. won't say i'm in love

PART TWO: don't leave me like this (not planned yet) 11. pretty when you cry 12. hold my hand 13. forgiveness 14. things i cant ever say 15. hurts like hell 16. nobodys daughter 17. could've, should've, would've 18. 19. 20.

please request, comment, or dm to be added to the taglist !! to be removed, do the same :))

a/n:

so, i'm starting another series, but this time it's with a lesser-liked character! i'm not gonna start it till after i finish "i wanna be yours" but i will drop teasers and what not. i hope this is well received because i know hanamaki is liked as a character but i havent seen anything for him so i really REALLY hope i can show y'all how cool he is. i wanna say a thanks to @idlerin who inspired "i wanna be yours" and "haunting me". hell, this masterlist is heavily based of theirs!! thank you so much for inspiring me, and i know SO SO many others agree <3

[tsumusangxl]

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chapter five ʚ [the denial]

pairing ʚ Hinata Shoyou x f!Reader x Iwaizumi Hajime

warnings ʚ Iwa's pov, not checked for mistakes, slight swearing, denial of feelings

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The hum of the city filled Iwa’s ears as he stepped off the train, hands stuffed into his jacket pockets. The crisp bite of autumn lingered in the air, sending leaves skittering across the pavement with every gust of wind. He wasn’t one for nostalgia, but there was something comforting about being back in Japan—like slipping on a well-worn hoodie you’d forgotten you owned.

Tonight wasn’t about nostalgia, though. It was about catching up with Mattsun and Makki. Their group chats were always lively, but seeing them in person had become a rare treat over the past few years. Life had pulled them in different directions—work, cities, even countries in Iwa’s case—but somehow, they always found their way back to moments like this.

As he rounded the corner, he spotted the bar, its faint golden glow spilling onto the street. It wasn’t the kind of place they’d have picked in high school—too grown-up, too polished—but it worked. They weren’t kids anymore, after all.

Iwa pushed the door open, the warmth of the room hitting him first, followed by the hum of conversation and the clinking of glasses. He scanned the booths, searching for familiar faces, until he spotted Mattsun already seated, nursing a beer and scrolling through his phone.

“Early, huh?” Iwa raised an eyebrow as he slid into the booth. “Who are you, and what have you done with the real Mattsun?”

Mattsun looked up, his usual lazy grin spreading across his face. “Funny. I could say the same about you. Didn’t expect you to show up on time, Mr. California Dreaming.”

“Guess LA didn’t mess with my sense of punctuality,” Iwa shot back, shrugging off his jacket.

“Makki’s going to have a field day with that one.”

“Speaking of,” Iwa said, glancing toward the door, “where is he?”

As if on cue, the door swung open, and Makki strode in, his usual mischievous energy practically radiating off him.

“Sorry, sorry,” Makki said, plopping down next to Mattsun. “Traffic was terrible. And by traffic, I mean I didn’t feel like leaving my couch until five minutes ago.”

Iwa rolled his eyes. “Some things never change.”

“And thank God for that,” Makki said with a grin, flagging down a server. “Alright, let’s hear it. Who’s got the most interesting life these days?”

Makki leaned back, stretching his arms out. “Mattsun, let’s start with you. How’s the coffee shop going?”

“Coffee shop?” Iwa raised an eyebrow. “I thought you worked at the funeral home. Did I miss something?”

Mattsun shook his head. “Not anymore.” He took a leisurely sip of his beer. “Miyu and I started talking about opening our own business after college, but we couldn’t make it happen right away.”

“So you worked at the funeral home to save up some money?” Iwa asked, taking a sip of his drink. “Damn, Mattsun. Never saw that coming. Mr. Entrepreneur.”

“Imagine him yelling at the baristas about latte art,” Makki chimed in. “This life already sounds pathetic.”

“Nah,” Mattsun said, waving Makki off. “I’ll leave that to Miyu. I just make sure the money flows and the customers don’t riot when someone screws up their macchiato.”

“Macchiato,” Makki repeated, like the word was foreign to him. “Who even orders that stuff? What happened to plain old coffee?”

“It’s called taste, Makki. Maybe try developing some.”

Iwa laughed, shaking his head. “You two are exactly the same. Anyway, what about you, Makki? Still looking for a job?”

“Hell nah, man,” Makki replied proudly. “I’ve started freelancing. Got some gigs editing videos for mid-tier influencers. It’s not glamorous, but better than being unemployed. Plus, I can work in my pajamas.”

“So… no change from high school, basically,” Mattsun deadpanned.

Makki shrugged. “Hey, I’m happy. Besides, I don’t need to third-wheel you and Miyu anymore.”

Iwa chuckled, leaning forward. “You guys are hopeless. Meanwhile, I’m over here trying to make it as a trainer.”

“Yeah, yeah, Mr. Gym Rat,” Makki teased. “How’s that going? Adjusting to Tokyo life?”

“It’s good. Different, but good,” Iwa said. “I started as a trainer assistant for the Tokyo Great Bears. It’s nothing major, but it’s a foot in the door.”

“Dude, that’s not ‘nothing,’” Mattsun said, looking genuinely impressed. “You’re working for a pro team. That’s huge.”

“Yeah, but it’s a grind,” Iwa admitted. “I’ve got a lot to learn, but I’m hoping to work my way up in the next few years.”

“You will,” Makki said confidently. “You’ve always been the most determined out of all of us. No doubt you’ll be running the team before long.”

Iwa smirked. “Thanks for the vote of confidence. We’ll see.”

Makki raised his glass. “Alright, here’s to Mattsun’s coffee empire, my pajama freedom, and Iwa climbing the ranks of pro volleyball.”

They clinked their glasses, a comfortable silence settling over them before Makki’s grin turned mischievous.

“So,” he began, leaning forward, “speaking of volleyball… anyone heard from the old gang?”

Mattsun groaned. “Here we go.”

“What? It’s been ages!” Makki said defensively. “I mean, Kyoutani’s still semi-pro, right? Anyone know if he’s still terrifying his teammates?”

“More like terrifying his opponents,” Iwa said with a smirk. “Last I heard, he’s doing well. Finally found a coach who knows how to handle him.”

“Small miracle,” Mattsun muttered. “What about Kindaichi? Is he still playing?”

“He’s with the Tamaden Elephants,” Iwa said. “Pretty steady career path for him.”

Makki snickered. “Can’t say the same for Watari, though. Did you know he’s working at the Kanagawa Aquarium now?”

“For real?” Mattsun asked, raising an eyebrow. “What’s he doing there? Dolphin wrangling?”

“Something like that,” Makki said, laughing. “And Yahaba? Last I heard, he’s a sports instructor now.”

“Figures,” Mattsun said with a shrug. “Always had that bossy streak.”

Makki’s grin widened as he leaned forward again. “Alright, last one. Shittykawa. What’s our favorite drama king up to?”

“Still in Argentina, still Oikawa,” Iwa said, shaking his head. “Signed another contract and is as smug as ever.”

“Of course he is,” Mattsun said, laughing. “Bet he sends you highlights of every match he wins.”

“Every. Single. One,” Iwa said with mock exasperation. “And don’t even get me started on the selfies.”

Makki burst out laughing. “Some things never change.”

“Nope,” Iwa said, raising his glass again. “And honestly? I’m okay with that.”

Makki leaned back, swirling his drink with a sly grin. “Alright, enough volleyball talk. Iwa, what’s the deal with you and Y/N?”

Iwa nearly choked on his beer. “What?”

“Oh, come on,” Mattsun chimed in, smirking. “Makki’s right. You’ve been glued to your phone every time we talk. And don’t think we didn’t notice the notifications lighting up during that chat about Oikawa.”

“Yeah,” Makki added, leaning in dramatically. “Spill. Who is she to you?”

“She’s just a friend,” Iwa said quickly, his tone firm but his ears betraying him with a faint pink hue.

“Oh, it’s definitely not just that,” Mattsun said with a chuckle.

Makki tilted his head, mockingly serious. “A friend, huh? Like the kind of friend you’d drive all the way to Osaka to meet?”

His stomach twisted uncomfortably. It had been days since she’d told him about her run-in with Hinata. He wasn’t sure what bothered him more: the fact that she’d been hurt again, or how badly he wanted to protect her from it all.

“She’s… different, okay? We met through a mutual friend. That’s it,” Iwa said, trying to keep his tone neutral.

“Different,” Mattsun echoed, his voice dripping with mock sincerity. “Wow, Makki, did you hear that? She’s different.”

“Totally different,” Makki agreed, nodding solemnly. “Definitely not the kind of girl you’d cross cities for, huh?”

Iwa groaned, running a hand through his hair. “Would you two shut up?”

It wasn’t a lie. She was different. From the first time they talked online, there’d been an ease between them, like they’d known each other for years. When she opened up about her past, about the wreckage Hinata had left behind, something in him had shifted. He wanted to be there for her—not because of romance. Or at least, he told himself it wasn’t about that. It was about trust. Respect.

Mattsun leaned back, crossing his arms. “Alright, fine. We’ll back off. But seriously, man, you’re dodging the question. Is there anything there, or are we imagining things?”

Iwa hesitated, fingers drumming lightly on the table. “She’s been through a lot. I’m just trying to be there for her, that’s all.”

Makki’s teasing grin softened, though the playful edge remained. “That’s sweet, Iwa. But you didn’t actually answer the question.”

“There’s nothing to answer,” Iwa said, too quickly. “She’s my friend. End of story.”

Because that’s all she could be, right? Anything more would be too messy. Too selfish. She didn’t need complications, not after everything she’d been through. And maybe he didn’t either.

“Right, right,” Mattsun said, exchanging a knowing look with Makki. “Whatever you say.”

Makki grinned, clearly unconvinced but willing to let it go—for now. “Alright, but when you need tips on how to confess your undying love, you know where to find us.”

“Or better yet,” Mattsun added, “just let us know when the wedding is so we can book our flights.”

Iwa shook his head, chuckling despite himself. “You two are impossible.”

“And you’re terrible at denying things,” Makki said, laughing. “But hey, that’s why we love you.”

As the conversation shifted to lighter topics, Iwa found himself distracted. His thoughts circled back to her. Maybe they weren’t entirely wrong. But whatever feelings he had, they were his to carry alone.

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notes ʚ

ʚ miyu is mattsun's girlfriend since high school

ʚ makki finally found a job but I think it will definitely change in the future

ʚ the career change for mattsun was a random thought

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next ʚ chapter six

previous ʚ chapter four

ʚ masterlist

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taglist ʚ @jojo23allegra @mjustag1rl @dazqa @gigiiiiislife

[prowlrsurge]

·˚ ༘ August | Matsuhana

"august slipped away into a moment in time, 'cause it was never mine."

chap 1/? | 1.3k words college au, fluff to angst, artist hanamaki hanamaki's pov

'Throughout the month of August, Hanamaki meets someone new, makes a friend, gets a lover, then gets heartbroken, all with the same person.'

On the first day of August Hanamaki meets someone who walks into the wrong room, and they take a walk to the right place. This results in a new friend, who will develop into more as the month progresses. Yet, they were never a real thing, and Matsukawa was never his.

This was originally started August 10th, 2022, so some parts are from the original version.

·˚ ༘ Links: ao3 wattpad

[han-jislay]

haikyuu fic recs because *chefs kiss* mwah ლ(╹◡╹ლ) | #1

boiled frogs | matsuhana

-timeskip seijou -makes me cry whether thats sadness or from laughter idk -matsu overcoming and recovering from a shit relationship

stargazing | kagesuga

-FLUFF?!?!? SM FLUFF (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) -body appreciation like yes

melt me with your gaze | iwaoi

-iwa-chan gets distracted by kawa wearing glasses

in another life | bokuaka

-who doesn’t know this omg -hospital au -ANGSTY PAIN 👹

crisis converted | bokuaka

-police au -akaashi has a thing for bokuto’s legs 

burning bright | oikuroo

-magical au -in denial kawa -overcoming fear and burdens with kuroo