#hanamaki angst

[satoruxx]

you fiddle with your nails as you walk home at tooru's side, the sounds of mattsun, makki, and iwa bickering further up ahead cutting through the empty streets. you’re uncharacteristically nervous, because god knows you’ve never done something like this before—but you steel yourself because it’s worth it for him.

your feelings for oikawa tooru are all consuming—strong and deep and intense. they’ve been brewing for well over two years now, nourished by the increased amount of time you’ve spent with him. they overwhelm you, washing over your being with an intensity you’ve never felt before, and they drive you to stick by his side for as long as you can—desperate and aching for the boy who puts the stars in your sky.

you know that timing is important because tooru is nothing if not driven—singularly focused on the sport that gives him the air he needs to breathe. so you wait until well after his match with karasuno, giving your all to support him and the rest of the team because volleyball has become important to you after spending so much time with them. you give it time, wait until after the team has taken the time to lament over their missed chance, and after all the third years are ready to move on to the next phase of their lives, before you finally decide to spill your guts to him.

tooru stares ahead as he’s walking, pensive and unsmiling, and you’re dying to know what’s going on in his head. his eyes are bright, a contrast to his expression, and there’s a resolute glint in his irises that has you feeling oddly shaken. when you reach his house, the rest of the group waves back at him before continuing on, and you realize this is your chance.

so, dangerously, you put your heart on the line.

you tell him everything you've ever thought about him—how you admire his drive and his passion, how you have looked up to him for years and years. how you have never felt so deeply for someone before knowing him. it comes out in a rushed ramble of words, all those nights of practicing in the mirror doing nothing for you in the actual moment. you stumble a few times, your face getting warmer with every word, and yet as each sentence falls forth you feel a weight lift from your shoulders—the flesh of your lungs clatter against your ribs, anxious and eager.

tooru inhales, gaze darting between your eyes and then flitting downwards. even in the dark of the night, you can see the pinkish hue crawling up his neck, can see the way he fidgets with his own fingers. he stares at you, lips parted as a wide array of emotions flit over his handsome features—they finally settle into a strange combination of apologetic and resigned.

and then he tells you no.

he tells you that volleyball will always take precedence, that he has already mapped out his future, which is too far away from you. he tells you about argentina and how his mind is made up. he tells you that he's flattered, that he's glad you're friends but that's all he can do right now.

“i'm sorry,” he says with a grimace. he studiously avoids looking at you, but you can't stop staring at him—your stomach sinks as he turns to head inside.

it takes you months to muster up the courage to tell him. it takes him two minutes to say no to you.

the rejection stings in a way that is unfamiliar, and you take a shaky breath as you walk down the street to catch up with the others.

the humiliation makes itself known in the form of a painful lump in your throat—unmoving and heavy. when you glance up you see that the third years have hung back, waiting for you. makki is wearing a knowing grin, but it falters when he sees your expression. mattsun, ever observant, seems to immediately understand, and he wordlessly slings an arm over your shoulder.

all you can do is awkwardly chuckle, knowing that it sounds weak and throaty as you shake your head. “i feel stupid,” you admit, voice wobbling as heat burns through your skin—unpleasant and unwelcome.

“you're not stupid,” makki mutters, hands shoved deep in his pockets as his lips slant regretfully. you stare at the ground, nodding slowly under the weight of mattsun's arm. your lungs ache, and you know that if you open your mouth, you will lose it entirely. so all you can manage to do is look up at iwa with glassy eyes and trembling lips and a rueful smile that probably makes you look as pathetic as you feel.

you don't notice the way his fists are clenched at his sides, nails digging indents into his palms. he grits his teeth, gaze flitting to oikawa's house in the background, but he doesn't say anything.

none of them speak as they walk you home, and you try your best to keep the sniffles to a minimum, too embarrassed to look at them.

you've never felt pain like this before, and it's hard to get over it because everything reminds you of tooru. it's like someone has taken a knife and carved into your ribcage, grasping your heart before taking it out crushing it between bloodied fingers. but even despite the gaping hole in your chest you know that there are expectations to be met, things to be done.

that's the strange thing about your silly unrequited love—it hurts and hurts and hurts some more until it stops one day before you can realize it. even though your chest is still bleeding you go on with life—you go to university, you get a job, you pay bills. you get up in the morning and brush your hair and drink water and tie your shoes until the wound closes itself up. you start smiling a little wider and laughing a little freer until oikawa tooru is nothing more than an old name.

and of course there are instances where you are reminded of him and what could've been, whether it's seeing milk bread in a supermarket or passing by children hitting a volleyball over a net out in the sun. you know very well that your friends are occasionally still in contact with their old captain, not that this bothers you. after all, mattsun, makki, and iwa were very careful not to bring him up around you, which you're grateful for. so even hearing the name in passing becomes easier.

it is difficult until it isn't anymore.

you've all but forgotten him now, after years and years and years—nothing more than a distant memory.

so imagine the sinking feeling of dread pooling in your stomach when you walk into the restaurant on makki's birthday and see oikawa tooru sitting at the bar, drink in hand. his eyes are alight as he laughs at whatever conversation he's joined, dark hair falling into his eyes messily.

one step forward, ten steps back.

for a second you can't help but stare, breath stolen from your lungs because it feels like the knife is back and twisting itself into your flesh all over again. there is a panic rising in your throat, suffocating and overwhelming and jarring.

tooru lifts his glass to his lips, hiding his grin as his gaze lazily travels over the expanse of the room.

another surge of panic. the familiar sting of humiliation.

he pauses as he's about to take a sip, brown eyes widening when they land on you, and you see the sharp inhale he takes. his stare doesn't waver, too consumed by shock to look away.

and yet that's all you can do—tear your eyes away because you're different now and it's long gone and you know there is no point in going down that rabbit hole again.

it was a lifetime ago—it's done now.

but you will never know how long tooru thought of you after that night back in high school. you will never know that he felt sick to his stomach when he saw the way your face fell at his rejection. you will never know that he bit his tongue so hard it bled as he watched you walk away from him. you will never know that he spent countless nights in argentina wondering what you were up to and how you were. you will never know that sacrificing you for his beloved sport was the hardest thing he's ever done.

so imagine the sinking feeling of dread tooru feels when he sees the way your eyes light up as you find your way over to iwa's side.

@teddybeartoji this is for you mickey ily hehehehehe

[uracutieraka]

Drama

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

Arguments all day with your ’rents

Just to go out, gotta fight for this shit (Fight for this shit)

Gotta realize you’re a high school girl (High school girl)

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

Older!college freshman! Matsukawa issei x F!reader

Tw! (Slight) age gap, mutual virginity loss, smut, mutual pining (??)

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

Synopsis; you and mattsukawa have known eachother since you were babies, when he goes off for college and leaves you behind to finish your third year of high school you begin lashing out. What is he gonna do with you?

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

Ever since Issei left for college, he’d received message after message of your mom telling him how you’d been lashing out and sneaking out to parties.

Disappearing into the darkness of the late nights, stumbling in to your window at 4 am, allowing yourself an hour and half of sleep before getting up and getting ready for school.

At first, it was fun and exhilarating. You had never disobeyed your parents, always a goody two shoes.

But now, your grades were slipping and you were breaking farther away from the perfect image everyone had painted you as.

Endless nights of your parents scolding you had passed, always ending with you rolling your eyes and slamming your bedroom door.

Then a few minutes later, without fail, your phone would vibrate, messages filling your inbox

‘Matti susu 💋’ it would read.

Do not disturb.

This continued for 4 months.

You hadn’t talked to the boy who you had taken baths with when you were babies in four whole months.

You were mad at him, for leaving you behind in this shitty place.

You hated everyone and all your friends, the only people you didn’t hate, were his friends so they were long gone.

That’s why you did this.

Getting dressed up in too-tight clothes and crawling out your window almost every night, hopping around party to party until the early morning hours.

It’s a Saturday morning - 4:45 a.m. to be exact - when you crawl back through your window.

Feet landing on the ground, you slowly shut the window, flinching when it squeaks slightly.

After shutting it you turn and sloppily shed your sweaty clothes.

Your room is dark, and your eyes heavy from a mix of tiredness and being under the influence of weed and alcohol.

You pull your tiny dress off and grab the giant t-shirt up off your floor where you had dropped it earlier in the night before you changed.

It was Matsukawa’s. You had stolen it right before he left for school, wanting it for “when you couldn’t sleep without him.” He had chuckled and rolled his eyes when he handed it to you.

“Whatever ya’ little perv.”

You scoffed, feigning disbelief.

“I am not a pervert!”

He raised a brow and put a hand on his hip sassily.

“You so are.”

That was one of the last conversations you had with him before he left.

You now plopped face down into your bed, taking in a deep breath and only turning your head to breath out.

Your eyes have now adjusted somewhat to the darkness.

Enough to make out the dark figure sitting on the chair by your vanity.

Grabbing your phone you fumble to press the flashlight button.

Thinking it was probably a pile of clothes and your eyes playing tricks on you.

It wasn’t.

The lamp next to the chair clicks on.

You turn your flashlight off and now are sitting on your knees on the bed facing the chair and light.

“What the fuck is your problem?” You sneer.

“Is that really how you’re gonna greet me after ignoring me for months?” The boy chuckles, standing up from the seat. With 2 long strides he is now at the side of your bed, hands in his pockets as he looks down at you.

He leans over you and squints his eyes.

“You’re cross faded right now.” He says, like its a gross fact.

You roll your eyes and cross your arms.

“So what?” Your tone is harsh and words are slightly slurred together. You hiccup and look at him, forcing a pouty look on your face.

Makeup smeared everywhere messily. Lips plump from whatever it was you had been getting into earlier that night.

Matsukawa was breathless.

You looked so beautiful with the soft light hitting your face, outlining your features.

The smeared mascara and eyeshadow made your eyes pop, and his t-shirt that fell halfway down your thighs hugged your body.

His eyes trailed over you, down your jaw and neck, to see the shoulder that was showing from the loose material of his old band tee.

“So what?,” he scoffed leaning back up to look down at you. “You’re embarrassing yourself.”

His words strike your heart.

You roll your eyes, throwing your self to lay facing your bedroom wall now, not wanting him to see the tears that are welling in your eyes.

“Whatever.” You say, though he picks up on the way your voice cracks slightly at the end.

He lets out a quick huff, crawling on the bed behind you.

He lays the same way you are but keeps space between you.

Theres a few minutes of complete silence before he speaks.

“Why have you been ignoring me?”

You lay there for a moment before clearing your throat and flipping over to face him.

You study his features, his hair has grown, now he has small curls that now fall over his forehead.

You reach out and twist one on your finger, something that you used to do until he chopped them all of his first year of high school.

He had kept them short until he left for college.

You sigh, letting the curl unravel itself from your grip.

Watching it bounce back into place you finally speak.

“Why’d you leave me here all alone su-su?”

Your voice is a meek whisper, no doubt from the partying.

A soft smile over takes his expression, followed by a slight chuckle.

“Im only 2 hours away.”

“Yeah but you’re not here!”

His face contorts to hold a small frown.

‘Mm’ it’s a disapproving grunt.

You look at him with sad, puppy dog eyes and he can’t help but feel horrible for going off to school.

“I know it’s not fair of me to be upset because I can just come to you whenever,” you blow a strand of hair out of your face and move so you’re now laying facing up and looking at the ceiling. “But It’s just so depressing without you here.”

Your head drops to look at him, awaiting his reaction. You can see him thinking hard about how to respond to your vulnerability. His brows are furrowed slightly as his lips are curled into a quizzical scowl.

A moment passes and he finally speaks up.

“Yeah but I can always come back here too, you just never reach out so I don’t.”

Heat crawls up your face, embarrassed at yourself.

The illicit substances are still flowing in your body, you can tell by the way you’re hot all over and the fact you can hear yourself slurring your own words when you speak.

“Jus’ missed you su-su.” You say wiggling around until you’re positioned in his arms, your face in his chest.

He wraps his arms around you, bending his wrists so his fingers can wrap themselves in your hair.

He moves to adjust to the new position, allowing his head to get comfortable, his chin rests itself on the top of your head.

He breathes in through his nose deeply before he talks again.

“I’ve missed you.”

You and Matsukawa had always been affectionate, to the point his friends would tease him about how normal friends weren’t that close.

He knew that. He didn’t need his annoying ass homeboys telling him too.

It was all innocent though! Holding hands, kisses on the cheek, hugging, or you hugging the large boy’s side as he had an arm draped over your shoulders, and even cuddling to go to sleep.

But, when he went off to school his horizons were… opened… in a sense.

Frat parties and girls throwing ass became a regular occurrence for him, but even with countless girls making advances at him and his friends trying to peer pressure him into joining hookup culture, he held loyal to the younger girl from back home.

Simply shutting them down with a simple “I already got a girl.”

Though you not speaking to him was driving him crazy, so crazy that he was loosing sleep over it. That’s why he decided to take the first train to you on Friday night.

He had arrived at 3 a.m., letting himself in with the spare key your parents gave him years ago.

He of course had told them he was coming into town late, but they didn’t care, just happy he was coming to see you.

The thing about Matsukawa though, was that he was sneaky. Since your parents loved him so much they would never assume he had ill-intent by coming to town on a Friday.

Which, they were right, he was in college so weekends tended to be easier to visit on, but this Friday was different.

This was the 2nd Friday of the month. Which was conveniently the Friday your parents went into the city for the night every month for date nights.

It had been this way for over 10 years.

He had other intentions for this visit though, none that could be considered innocent.

All those girls had him thinking of you, the images of you that had started filling up your private finsta had him nearly banging his head against the wall.

Tiny dresses that had your chest spilling out of them, tiny shorts that were basically just underwear and lowcut shirts all had his mind reeling.

‘Who are you showing off for?’

The question thumped the inside of his skull every night as he viewed your photos and highlights.

Thoughts of the girl he had known as long as he could remember turned from innocent jealousy to something evil.

He knew he was done for when your provocative images were the only thing that could get him off.

He felt dirty every-time he palmed himself to your feed.

He didn’t care though. You were going to be his and he was going to be sure of that.

You pushing your head harder into his chest broke him out of his train of thought.

“Y/n”

“Hmm?” A quiet questioning hum leaves your throat. Eyes closed as you breathe in his scent.

“You know we’re more than just friends right?”

You pull back enough so you can make eye contact with him.

You look over his face once before responding.

“I know.”

“So then what are we doing? Why have you been ignoring me?”

You resettle yourself into his chest, inhaling and mulling over the real reason why you were so upset at him.

“Because,” you close your eyes again and take a deep breath to calm down. “Because what if you found a girl there? In the city? I wouldn’t want to hold you back Issei. And it made me upset because I love you a lot.”

Your mind is still fuzzy so you’re slow to recognize the words tumbling past your lips.

You hear his breath catch in his throat before he begins choking.

He sits up and catches his breath, finally finishing his coughing fit.

You sit up now too, realizing what you just said.

“Im sorry! I- i didn’t- i do love you but I-“ youre cut off by warm lips on yours.

You kiss back, melting into him.

You deepen the kiss and reach up grabbing his shirt collar, guiding him with it.

You gently push against him with your hands and he lays back on your bed.

You simultaneously swing your leg over him, straddling the lanky older boy.

His hands find perch on your hips, circling his thumbs slowly on them.

You break the kiss and look down at him.

He smiles up at you widely and you smile back. Giggles escaping the both of you, it was the type of laughter that you only have when you’re doing something you’re not supposed to be doing with someone you’re close with.

You lean down, smile still on your faces as you kiss his cheek, peppering soft kissed down his jaw and on to his neck.

He tilts his head, allowing more space for the action.

He uses his hands to move your hips against him, a quiet moan leaving the back of his throat at the friction and sensation of kisses on his neck.

You giggled, letting him continue to rock you as he pleased.

You kiss back up his neck and jaw until you land back on his mouth.

You lock lips with him , resting your hands on his shoulders as you start moving at your own pace.

He gasps into your mouth at the unexpected change of pace.

After a moment he flips the two of you over.

Looking down at you, he studies your face.

You feel embarrassed at his lingering stare, what if he looks at you too long and notices all your flaws?

“Y/n,” his voice is raspy and low. You look back up at him and his gaze is intense. “Those pictures you’ve been posting…,” he lets an airy chuckle escape his mouth as he slightly drops his head and shakes it, like he’s trying to shake bad thoughts out of his head. “Who are you posting them for?” His eyes now locked on you.

The heat in your cheeks burns even harder than it had been. You contemplate telling him the truth or saying no one.

“You.” It’s a hushed whisper, you look so cute under him, giving him a bashful look.

You now see his face flush as he looks away from you.

After a few beats of silence he turns his head to face you again.

“Good.”

It’s not bold and he still has a hint of nervousness to his tone.

Leaning down he captures you by the lips yet again.

He’s more fervent than before, grinding into you, kissing sloppily down your neck.

You stop him by grabbing his face and making him look at you.

“Are we really gonna..,” you look away as your voice drops to a whisper. “Have sex?”

You have doe eyes as you look back to him, awaiting the older boys answer.

His face softens at the way you look at him.

“Do you… want to?” He whispers back to you.

He’s always been like this.

So sweet to you that it made his friends throw up at how different he acted when you were around.

Obviously you two would bicker and tease each other but it was never the way he was with literally anyone else.

He’s still looking at you, but now he rolls onto the side of you.

He brings his hands up and uses his index finger to trace your jawline.

You look over at him and finally give your answer.

“Yes,” his eyes light up a bit before you speak again. “But, you have to be 100% honest first.”

An eyebrow shoots up on his face.

“About what?”

“Haveyoubeenwithanyoneelsebehonestrightnow.”

You look away from him, nervous to hear his answer.

“Woah- no! I most definitely have not!”

He’s actually kind of hurt that you would think he would do that to you.

“Promise?” You stick your pinky out at him.

“I promise.” He laces his with yours, signifying he true to his word.

You sigh and flip yourself back on to his lap.

“Good.” You say, a playful grin tugging at your lips.

“Have you.”

“Hell no!”

He chuckles before lacing his hand through the hair on the nape of your neck, pulling you back to him.

Just before he kisses you he whispers, breath on your lips. “Good.”

This time the kissing is different.

Theres a confirmed goal between the two of you and it’s hard to slow down now.

The finish line is so close.

Issei’s hand untangles itself from your hair and makes it’s way down your body.

Finding itself back you your hip for a brief moment, until he slides two of his fingers along the hem of your underwear.

You flinch at the sudden movement, but allow him to continue.

Your stomach is swarming with butterflies and youre body is so hot you might melt.

“Ya’ know y/n….” He says now running his fingers back and forth on the hem slowly. You close your eyes and take a deep breath in a pathetic attempt to calm you nerves. “All those girls at school only made me miss you more than I thought was possible.”

He traces his finger lightly up you naval and over your ribs, splaying his hand out flat against your side, his thumb makes small circular movements on your skin.

You now open your eyes and study his expression.

His eyes are heavy and lidded, no doubt from arousal and the fact it’s now past 5 in the morning.

“Issei.”

He looks away from where his hand connects to your skin, eyeing the cute lace underwear you had on.

“Hm?”

You move his hand and back on his lap.

“Can we please keep going?”

He was so caught up in enjoying your presence he had almost briefly forgotten what you two were doing.

He flips back over you with a small smile.

He looks nervous. You had only seen him like this a few times in all the years you had known him. So it was unexpected from the usually confident man.

You reach up and cup his face, rubbing your thumb faintly over his bottom lip.

You pull him down towards you, restarting what had abruptly ended a few minutes ago.

Kissing back you and him fall back into the same pattern you had been in prior.

This time it’s for real. There’s nothing stopping the two of you.

He pushes the bottom of your shirt up, and you break away only to sit up and throw it off of you.

His eyes fall down to your chest. He had never seen real boobs in person before. At least not like this.

“Su-su?,” his gaze comes back to your face. You point to his shirt. “Your turn.” It’s meek, as if you were embarrassed to even hint you wanted him to discard his clothes too.

“Oh! Sorry!” He quickly takes his shirt off, then stands to drop his pants to the floor.

He quickly kicks them off his ankles and gets back on your bed.

Youre both sitting facing each other, both on your knees.

“Now what?” He throws a hand to rub the back of his neck, unsure what to do, or more what you wanted him to do.

“Now, you kiss me again and uhm,” your face grows a deep shade of red. You look down at his hands, resting on his knees. “You touch me.”

“Okay.” He says, letting a breath of air escape his mouth.

Leaning over you two reconnect. Lips matching eachothers paces.

At first hes slow and gentle but then he deepens the kiss, speeding up his movements.

Hes now over you (again, damn you guys really need to stop stopping.) hand running up and down the sode of your thigh gently.

You weren't unaware of just how large Matsukawa was.

You were in fact the opposite. His large size never failed to amaze you.

When you were younger, it was cool. He was so much taller than everyone!

You never thought anything weird of it until last year year.

You were with him, and a few of his volleyball teammates at his house.

They were 17 and had gotten the opportunity to have a house to themselves.

It took Matsukawa weeks of begging his parents to let him have his friends over.

It took you one minute and a promise of no funny business under your watch.

They agreed, trusting you more than him.

Though, promising a whole house for a weekend to multiple teenage boys is basically asking for something bad to go down.

Long story short, the other 3 boys had scrounged around their parents cabinets for any alcohol they could.

“9 beers, half a bottle of sake, and 2 whole bottles of wine, curtsey of Tooru.” Hiro speaks out to the small group.

��Not bad’s followed the statement.

An hour later, you guys were all giggly and drunk, never having drank this much before.

“Ok, ok so youre telling me you two have neverrrrr,” Oikawa points a finger back and forth between you and Issei. You’re lazily leaned up against his side, as his arm rests around your shoulder. “Ya’know…did it?” A shit eating grin is plastered on his face.

Your face is burning hot from the topic of conversation.

Issei is looking away from you, but you can tell he’s also feeling the same way you are.

You nod ‘no’ to Oikawa’s question. Ignorantly hoping that would be the end of it.

“I mean think about it from y/n’s perspective.,” now Iwaizumi joins in. You turn towards him, thinking maybe he would be your savior. You were wrong. “Mattsun is like, ginormous compared to her, and i mean, not to be like gay, but he’s probably… well endowed.”

Your face is now sheet white from the statement. Grabbing your can you chug the last of your beer.

“Dude!” Issei now shouts out at his friend. Throwing the nearest pillow at the other boy.

“Sorry! It’s just a thought bro!”

“You’re so gay!”

“Am not!”

The two boys keep bickering as you now look back over at Issei.

It’s like a switch flips in your head. A sudden shift in your guys relationship was felt by both of you.

From that point forward you two could barely touch each other without shying your faces away from one another.

After a few months though it slowly became normal for you two again. This time though-when he would pull you close into him while walking home, or scoot closer to you on the bench at lunch, just so he could be near you- a new feeling settled in your stomach.

Something sweet but hungry.

That’s how you felt now.

There was something in the deepest, darkest parts of you that was starving. Something animalistic.

A hand sliding over the material of your underwear grounds you.

Your breath hitches in anticipation.

He looks at you, a glint of mischief and curiosity is in his eyes. You know this look. It’s the look he gets when he’s testing the waters with how long he can get away with do something before pissing you off.

This time though, its for a different reason.

How far can he go until you’re begging for him?

He had now come to realize he could go pretty far.

Your underwear are long gone, hands entangled in the boys curls.

He’s 2 fingers deep into you, mouth working the rest of you.

For a virgin he was surprisingly good at this.

You wondered for brief second if he had lied to you but that train of thought was quickly lost when he pulled back from you.

“Am I… doing it right? I’m not really sure what i’m doing.” His fingers are still moving in and out of you, his eyes are locked on your face, trying to read your expressions.

You grab his wrist hinting for him to stop, so you can properly answer him.

You pant for a few seconds before propping yourself up to look at him.

“Yes. Really good. More than good Issei.”

You get a good look at his face, his pupils are dilated, hair messy from your fingers, and the bottom half of his face is glistening from a mixture of his saliva and your arousal.

“Okay, good.” He says, a smile yet again takes over his face.

He goes to move his fingers again but you grip on his wrist again.

Biting your lip, your eyes now avoid his.

“Can we, uhm, y’know..”

His eyes widen. Anxiety now wracking through him again, but also a sort of excitement at the prospect offered to him.

“Yes!” It was more desperate than he had hoped, internally he cringed at it.

He repositioned over you. Pushing his underwear down and kicking them off.

You look down.

“Woah.” Your eyes are opened wide, mouth slightly agape.

He studies your face, now growing nervous at your staring.

“Is something wrong?” He asks.

You look back at him. “No! It’s just, like, really big…”

Issei swears he could’ve finished in that moment, but he didn’t. He was proud of himself.

“We don’t have to do anything.”

“Issei,” You have a pitiful look on your face. “Please?”

He doesn’t know what happened.

One second he’s reassuring you, the next he’s pushed all the way inside you.

Your whimpers and clawing at his back makes him damn near primal.

“Are you okay?”

“Y-yes! Please, do something Issei!” You whine out to him.

You feel full. Unable to do anything but think about Issei.

A guttural moan leaves his throat.

He slowly pulls back and you hiss at the burning.

“A-are you sure you want me to-,”

“Issei. Do it.” It’s stern but reassuring for him in a way.

He keeps going, eyes trained on where you two connect.

He quickly slams his hips back into yours.

A loud moan leaves you.

Its the best thing he’s ever heard, and now he’s determined to hear it more.

He quickly sets a pace, slow and steady.

Your hands are entangled in his hair again, slightly pulling whenever he thrusts back into you.

“Fuck! It’s so big!”

“D-dont, fuck, don’t stop!”

Your words thumped in his head. The encouragement only made him go faster and harder.

He cant stop staring at your face, watching how every movement has your eyes rimming up with tears.

You had been entranced, staring at where he filled you up. Now you look back up at him.

“You’re s-so pretty -aha- Issei!”

The once determined drive to fuck you was suddenly turned into something else.

Now he was determined to make love to you. Suddenly realizing how intimate this moment was.

Having you here like this for him, so pretty and vulnerable.

He’s filled with so much love for you it hurts.

“Fuck, i fucking love you.” He states, it’s broken up between thrusts and soft moans leaving the both of you.

“Love you too issei.” You pull him in for a sloppy kiss.

His movements are slow and languid.

He’s focused on making you feel good.

His thumb is stroking your cheek as he peppers small kisses and sweet nothings to you.

It’s not much longer until you feel a knot forming in your abdomen.

“I-i think m’gonna cum.” You say.

“Wha- okay, yeah, me too.” He’s breathing hard.

You can see the sweat beads on his face, resting where his brows are furrowed together in concentration.

He continues the pace, hoping to bring you both to your releases at the same time.

And he does.

“M���cumming su-su!”

“Shit- me too baby!”

He thrusts into you a few more times before letting out a loud groan.

You had cum slightly before, it tumbled into him doing so as well.

Collapsing on top of you, he turns and kisses all ovver the side of your face quicky.

“Mwah!mwah!mwah!” He says as he does so.

You laugh and ghost your fingernails over his shoulder blades.

“You’re so stupid issei.” It’s a followed by a soft giggle.

“Whatever. You’re the stupid one.”

“What?! How?!”

He looks at you raising a brow.

“Sneaking out? Partying? Failing your classes? All because I went off to school and you thought i’d meet another girl? That’s stupid.”

“Whatever…”

“You know I’m right.”

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

8 months later

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

“Are you excited to start university?” Hiro’s voice chirps at you from across the room.

“Yes! I’m happy i got into the same one as you and Su-su.” You beam at him.

“Yeah. Matsukawa won’t shut the hell up about it,” his eyes roll. “And just so you know. You will not be taking over our dorm.”

“Whatever Hiro.” Your eyes roll and your smile is now replaced with a scowl.

“Hey, hey, you two! Calm down. Y/n’s parents actually love her and so she has her own dorm like a damn brat.” Oikawa’s voice now interrupts you and Hiro making faces and flipping each other off.

“I am not a brat!” Your tone is whiney, like a toddler throwing a fit.

“Loud and wrong.” Iwa’s voice is harsh and cold, but you know he’s just poking some fun at you.

“Leave her alone! Just because our parents didn’t want to pay thousands extra for us to have our own rooms doesn’t make her a brat!” Your, now, boyfriend Mattsun says, approaching behind you.

“Issei don’t be sarcastic! I’ll have you guys know my parents only did it because i finished with perfect marks in school. So it’s my reward.” You cross your arms, huffing and looking away from the four boys who are all gathered in your room, helping you pack for college.

Hiro puts on a fake frilly posh accent, “my daddy says because i did a good job he’s going to buy me a Mercedes!”

“Shut up Hiro!” You holler.

The boys are all snickering at your annoyance.

“All right, all right, our bad.” Iwaizumi huffs out and uses his hands to motion for everyone to calm down.

“Now on to more pressing matters,” Oikawa speaks. “Care to explain why these are in your dresser drawer y/n?” He now reveals a box of condoms.

You feel your heart drop to your feet, then a sudden need to defend yourself comes over you.

“Why are you opening my underwear drawer?” You point at him.

His face drops.

All the boys are now giving him blank stares, waiting to see what he says.

“You told me to empty them out! I didnt know it was your underwear drawer. But when i opened it these were on top!”

You roll your eyes.

“Perv.” You scoff turning away to resume filling the box you had with your belongings.

“Whatever. Answer the question.” Oikawa says.

“It’s pretty self explanatory.”

“Yeah but these are magnums.”

“Ok? We already had this conversation last year at Issei’s.”

“Uhhh, nuh uh!,” oikawa wags his finger back and forth. “We had they hypothesis it wouldn’t work. Thats what we talked about.”

“Tooru..” Issei now interjects. It’s a warning to him to stop having this conversation.

Oikawa doesn’t listen.

“So?”

“So what?” You sneer.

“Does it?”

“Barely! There! Are you happy?” You are obviously exasperated at the fact you had to answer or deal with Oikawa never leaving you alone about it.

‘Ayeeee’s and a ‘my boy!’ Fill your room for a moment.

You walk over and snatch the box from Oikawas hands.

“Asshole.”

He sticks his tongue out at your reply.

Issei moves forwards and wraps his arm around your waist, his other reaching around to grab the box out of your hands.

“I’ll take that!” He says with a smile and kiss to your cheek.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” A faint blush dusts your face, and a small smile, despite your annoyed tone.

Issei can tell you’re not mad.

“You know you love me.” He says, a smirk on his face.

“Unfortunately.” You now deadpan out to him.

Masterlist

[noorpersona]

Unrequited Love: Oikawa (Bonus)

The team was loud, as always.

Oikawa, now freshly showered and looking somewhat like himself again, was in the middle of being teased by Hanamaki and Matsukawa.

“So, Captain, let’s talk about your tragic love life,” Matsukawa said, slinging an arm around Oikawa’s shoulders.

Hanamaki took a dramatic sip of his drink. “Yeah, we all knew she was gonna break up with you before you did. What does that say about you, huh?”

“Shut up,” Oikawa groaned, smacking Matsukawa’s arm off him, though there was no real heat behind it. You could see his mood rising with every passing moment.

“Hey, at least you still have volleyball,” Matsukawa said, raising his glass like he was making a toast.

“Right, the one true love of your life,” Hanamaki added with a smirk.

Oikawa sighed dramatically. “You guys are the worst.”

You watched from the side, letting their banter wash over you. The ache from earlier was still there, a dull weight in your chest, but at least Oikawa wasn’t sulking anymore. That was the important thing.

A presence appeared beside you, and you didn’t even have to look to know it was Hajime.

“I’m impressed,” he admitted, crossing his arms as he watched Oikawa shove Hanamaki. “I tried to get him out of bed earlier, but he wouldn’t budge.”

You smirked, nudging him lightly with your elbow. “That’s because you don’t know how to sweet-talk him, Hajime.”

He rolled his eyes. “Oh, please. If I tried sweet-talking Oikawa, I’d never hear the end of it.”

You snickered. “Yeah, he’d probably take that as an invitation to propose.”

Hajime shook his head, amused, before glancing at you, his expression shifting into something more knowing. “So,” he said casually, “are you going to make a move, or are we just going to keep going in circles?”

You exhaled sharply, running a hand through your hair. “Please, you should’ve seen what he told me earlier.”

Hajime raised an eyebrow.

You turned to him, pressing a hand to your chest mockingly, and sighed dramatically. “He looked me in the eye, Hajime. And do you know what he said?”

Hajime waited.

“You’re a good friend,” you deadpanned, voice dripping with bitterness.

Hajime winced. “Ouch.”

“Yeah.” You let out a short laugh, shaking your head. “So, no, I’m not making a move. Not when he clearly doesn’t see me that way.”

Hajime was quiet for a moment before shrugging. “You never know. He’s an idiot. You might have to spell it out for him.”

You huffed, watching as Oikawa dramatically whined about something to the others. “Yeah, well… I think I’ve done enough for one night.” Then you hear a whine of your name. You look over to Oikawa's pleading face along with Matsun's and Makki's devious ones.

“You promised me they would give me a break!” Oikawa suddenly called out, his voice carrying over the chatter of the team. His eyes locked onto yours, pleading dramatically, though the glint of betrayal was exaggerated.

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t suppress a smirk. “C’mon, guys, give him some slack,” you called, raising your hands in surrender.

Hanamaki gasped in mock offense. “Oh, so now you’re defending him?”

“She’s going soft,” Matsukawa said, shaking his head.

“I am not going soft,” you shot back, narrowing your eyes.

Hajime, beside you, smirked before stepping forward. “Actually, now that I think about it… didn’t Oikawa almost cry in first-year when he lost his favorite knee pads?”

Oikawa whipped around. “Iwa-chan.”

“Oh, right!” Hanamaki’s eyes lit up. “The ones with the little stars on them?”

“You guys swore to take that to the grave!” Oikawa cried, scandalized.

“I don’t know, man,” Matsukawa said, leaning back with a grin. “Kind of sounds like a moment that deserves to be remembered.”

As the teasing escalated, Oikawa slumped in his seat, arms crossed, pouting like a child. “I hate all of you.”

You laughed at the whole exchange, and when you glanced back at Oikawa, expecting him to still be sulking, you caught something different—something small, almost imperceptible.

He was smiling.

It was barely there, just a slight tug at the corners of his lips, but it was real. And for a brief moment, as his gaze lifted, he met your eyes.

The world around you blurred, and warmth spread through your chest. You swore you felt your heart stutter, just for a second.

And then, as quickly as the moment had happened, you cursed yourself for it.

Get a grip, you scolded yourself, tearing your gaze away.

Oikawa was still laughing with the others, completely unaware of the effect he had on you.

You exhaled, shaking your head, willing the butterflies away.

Hajime, still standing beside you, didn’t say anything, but when you glanced at him, he was looking at you with a knowing expression.

“Not a word,” you muttered.

He smirked. “Didn’t say anything.”

You groaned, shoving his shoulder, but he only chuckled in response.

[rintarousgirl]

dating matsukawa issei is like...

a/n: please enjoy the headcanons! off topic but i have like 60 followers rn and i just want to say thank you very much and please send in requests!! beware of the smut below the cut (all smut is post timeskip)

★ - before dating matsukawa, you'd been crushing on him. and you'd been crushing on him for a while. ever since your first year of high school you'd found yourself growing incredibly fond of the heavy-lidded boy in your mathematics class.

★ - three years later, halfway through your third year, you confess to him on Valentine's Day. he's amused by your confession, watching you stare at your feet as you hold out a small box of chocolates and pink letter with neat handwriting out to him.

★ - it's more surprising to you when he accepts, curious and teasing the shy girl who'd confessed to the closed off matsukawa issei.

★ - he's very comfortable with you right off the bat, and there's no special milestones for things. he sits with you at lunch, or well, he drags you over to his table and introduces you to his volleyball friends.

★ - he always has an arm around your shoulders or waist. he likes holding you close to his side, enjoying how small you felt next to how tall he was. you certainly weren't complaining.

★ - loves hugging you from behind, resting his chin on your head and his hands dangling off your shoulders. also a big ego boost for him about his height.

★ - loves lazy cuddling in his bed. holds you close as the two of you watch a movie at his house. you groan when he falls asleep, but he grumbles and says, "how can I help it when you're so soft?"

★ - holds your chin when you kiss, so you can't get embarrassed and pull away. of course, if you want to stop, he will, but he won't let you hide. not from him.

★ - carries your bags and books for you in the school hallway.

★ - you have a box in his closet with all your belongings for when you're over there. sweatshirts, underwear, etc...

★ - handholding is a must. he's a surprisingly affectionate guy for seemingly being so lazy.

★ - buys your favorite flavor of chapstick so he always tastes good for you when you kiss. it's small, but it's sweet and thoughtful.

★ - always is sharing clothes with you. sometimes he'll purposefully leave his sweatshirts at your house in hopes you'll show up to school the next day.

★ - always buys you your favorite chocolates before dates. he'll stop by the store and grab them, even if you guys are just going to a picnic in the park or something.

★ - loves swimming. he loves to drag you and the other third-years to go swimming with him. is constantly pushing you off the dock and then jumping in after to you and pretending he didn't.

★ - is always willing to give piggyback rides when your feet/legs hurt. volleyball has built up a lot of muscle for him, and lifting you is no harder than lifting his baby brother.

★ - petnames include "baby, sugar, and sweetheart." along with multiple silly nicknames based on your name.

★ - dating matsukawa issei feels like summer all over again, even in the deep frostbite of japan's winter season. he's warm and soft and cuddly. he feels like late mornings in bed, sheets tangled and the sun peering in through the windows. it feels like freshly washed linen and blooming gardens. matsukawa issei feels like a breath of fresh air.

★ - matsukawa pins your wrists above you as you fuck, watching you gasp and squirm and be completely unable to do something about it as he overstimulates you.

★ - matsukawa can't keep his mouth off you. he's kissing your lips, your breasts, sucking deep marks into your neck, biting at your hips.

★ - matsukawa pounds into you until the sheets beneath you both are soaked with your fluids and the only noise leaving you are soft little "ah-ah-ah"'s.

★ - matsukawa loves to brush your hair from you eyes and watch as they cloud over with lust and want.

★ - matsukawa can't help but smirk and grow a bit hard when he sees you in your bathing suit.

★ - he loves sweet dirty talk.

★ - "can't help but touch you when you look so pretty just for me, baby."

★ - doesn't let you hide your face. "c'mon baby, let me see your face when you cum."

★ - is obsessed with eating you out. he loves the way you taste, and feels intoxicated when he's between your thighs. matsukawa issei is totally pussy drunk off you.

★ - he absolutely adores teasing you in public, watching you blush and bite your lip as your thighs rub together. you try so hard to maintain conversation with oikawa, iwaizumi, and hanamaki but you can't help the way you stutter and squirm as his hand brushes your clit, fingers touching you through your soaked panties.

★ - he loves it when you whine and cry for him.

★ "please," you gasp, reaching for him. he pins your hands above your head with one hand of his own, and your hips buck lightly. "i need you, issei."

★ - "shh, don't cry baby," he'll coo as he kisses your wet cheeks, "i'll touch you baby, i promise."

★ - he begs for just the tip after a stressful day at work, and he keeps his promise to go no further but you can't help the way you twitch and squirm. he'll hide his face in your neck, his hand firmly planted on your hip as he tries so hard not to bottom-out in you.

★ - laughs as your hands fumble with his belt, shaking and desperate for his cock.

★ - covers his mouth and hopes his groans are relatively quiet when you sneak under his desk while on a video call with his clients at the funeral home. tries his hardest to stay focused as you lick along his length and pop his tip into your mouth.

★ - loves semi-public sex. he'll fuck you in a closet at a family gathering, tease you under the table, grind against you behind the kitchen counter while everyone else is in the kitchen.

★ - has very high stamina and can easily go a handful of rounds. your pleasure always comes before his anyway.

[chrysalind]

numeracy

pairing: hanamaki takahiro x reader x matsukawa issei wc: 2.7k tags: pre-relationship, fluff, light angst, angst w/ happy ending, polyam, jealousy, implied iwaoi

“Truth or dare?”

You grind the heel of your sandal into the already packed sand below your feet. The air in front of you, warmed by the bonfire, must be at least ten degrees hotter than the dark void of brisk summer night at your back.

Hanamaki knocks his knee against yours, as if to egg you on, and the heat in your cheeks only intensifies. You make a small note of correction: the difference in temperature must be closer to fifteen.

“Truth,” you reply, not even considering the alternative. A chorus of groans sound from the other students and you count eight pairs of eyes on you, sixteen in total. Most are half-lidded from drink, but Matsukawa’s, you note, as they lazily meet yours, are just always like that. The smirk he wears is foreboding.

“Have you ever—” he leans forward and you swallow. Others look on in bated breath.

“—been with more than one person at a time?”

You blink, confused by the openness of the question. “Like…sex?”

He shrugs and shadows move jauntily across his torso as he waves his hand. “Sex, relationships, whatever.”

He says it casually, like he’s asking you whether you prefer coffee or tea. Like the discussion of polyamory, is as simple and commonplace as saying you like both drinks, depending on your mood.

But maybe his demeanour is so startling to you because you’re so sorely lacking in experience. After all, it was just last year that you’d finally grown comfortable being that close with one person, much less two. Yes, two is a good number for you; even, divisible, and simple enough.

“No,” you shake your head, grateful for an easy answer. “I’ve never even… I’ve never even dated more than one person at once.” You punctuate your answer with a laugh—a short giggle that you force out of nervousness more than anything. Thankfully, others—and Hanamaki, to your right—react in kind.

The game moves on when you call upon Oikawa, who theatrically accepts the dare of taking a moonlit dip in the ocean. As he runs off toward the nearby shore, Iwaizumi, who makes a big show of groaning and standing up, stalks off into the dark after him, mumbling something about making sure he doesn’t drown himself.

Their departure pauses the game and drunken chatter breaks out among the group almost immediately.

“You cold?” Hanamaki asks, long lashes casting shadows atop his cheeks. In the light of the fire, you can see two of the three freckles that sit on his left cheekbone, forming the base of what you’d previously observed to be an almost perfect equilateral triangle.

“A little,” you admit, feeling the cider slosh in its can as you make a show of rubbing your bare upper arm.

He shrugs off his zip-up sweater and drapes it over your shoulders, blanketing you in its warmth. You revel in the feeling—in this display of kindness, of affection—that had only grown more frequent between the two of you in the past few weeks. He leans back, as if to appraise you in this state, and a soft maritime breeze ruffles his bangs. One, you think, is more than enough for you. Especially if the one happens to be Hanamaki.

Oikawa returns in the next minute, dripping wet and glorious, wearing a teeth-chattering grin that doesn’t relent until he’s parked squarely in front of the fire. He had evidently neglected to take off his clothes before running into the surf and was now wearing a soaked pair of board shorts and Iwaizumi’s hoodie.

The other boy isn’t far behind him, a long-suffering scowl on his features as he takes his previous place. No one mentions that his clothes are also noticeably damp in many places, but a few giggle.

“Now,” Oikawa says, sweeping his gaze across the circle of their peers. He pushes back a lock of sopping wet hair, the action far more charming than could be replicated by anyone else. He zeroes in on a girl near the periphery of their group; a doe-eyed track athlete who you’d never seen out of athleisure.

“Sumire,” he singsongs, drawing out all three syllables of her name, and she leans back, playfully rolling her eyes. From the way she sways, you can tell that she’s had a good amount to drink, not unlike everyone else.

“Dare,” she puts forward with a grin and a wave of oooh’s ripple throughout your small group.

Oikawa makes a thoughtful noise, the fire in front of him dialing the mischievous light in his eyes up to a ten. “I dare you to kiss either Haruka or…” He scans the group once more, never pausing until—

“…Makki.”

Your mouth goes dry as you watch the two men share a smirk. Beside Sumire, Haruka tosses her hair and laughs before jokingly dodging a kiss from the taller girl.

“I guess Haruka won’t kiss me,” Sumire sighs dramatically before standing up. She strides across the circle, the drink making her swaying look more alluring than clumsy. Jealousy roils in you stomach, bitter and acerbic and it takes all your willpower to keep your hands unclenched.

It takes her all of four steps to reach the two of you, her flip-flops stopping just short of the edge of your shared towel. She crouches down in front of Hanamaki, who holds her stare with his own amused gaze. In your peripheral vision, you can see the others watching eagerly, their cheeks high with colour. Even Iwaizumi can’t feign disinterest. Matsukawa’s eyes meet yours and he dips his chin, the evening shadows masking his expression.

“You okay with this?” you hear Hanamaki say, just a fraction louder than a whisper. You turn to him, hope ballooning in your chest, but he isn’t looking at you.

He isn’t looking at you at all.

So it’s a mystery why you remain rooted in place, his sweater around your shoulders, and a desperate, ugly feeling in your chest that only digs its claws in deeper as she leans in.

He tilts his head to receive her and you watch—you all watch—as the kiss unfolds. It’s quick at first, just a brief peck on her lips that causes a laugh to bubble from her lips. She closes the distance again and the kiss morphs in nature; deepening into something less chaste. You freeze as she stumbles forward, her high ponytail fanning over to brush his cheek as he guides her into a straddle.

Nervous laughter sounds across the group and someone even whistles.

The jealousy within you is untenable now, bolstered by the white-hot humiliation that floods your system. You know that you hadn’t imagined the growing closeness between you—the late night texts, the flirty jokes, the invitation to come to this bonfire. So why are you being made to feel so stupid? Why did you have to be here at all?

The thought finally jars something within you, undoing the petrification that had previously taken hold of your limbs. You count three breaths, one inhale and one exhale each, before you uncross your legs to stand. Mumbling something about needing to use the bathroom, you stumble beyond the warm reach of the fire and into the cool night beyond.

Without the heat of the day, the grits of sand that find their way under your feet are damp and uncomfortably cold. You don’t let it deter you, however, as you make a beeline towards the lapping sounds of the shore. Salty air fills your lungs and you sniffle, trying to ignore the burn of moisture in your eyes as you make your way further towards the surf. Thankfully, there are few other groups tonight, scattered so far across the beach that it doesn’t take long for the din of drunken voices to be drowned out by the ocean.

You only stop once you reach a lifeguard tower, steadying your weight against the paint-chipped railing as you try to ground yourself. Your phone lets you know it’s almost midnight and you have half a mind to hike back to the parking lot and call a ride. After all, there’s nothing for you here.

“Hey.”

You whip your head around to face the sudden intrusion.

“It’s just—jeez, that’s fucking bright.” Matsukawa shields his eyes as you turn your phone’s flashlight on him.

“Matsukawa,” you say, putting your phone away.

“You can just call me Issei.” His tall figure, now shrouded in darkness, comes to sit next to you on the steps of the tower.

“I mean, we’ve known each other for…a year now?”

“Seven months,” you correct softly, pulling Hanamaki’s sweater tighter across your arms. “But o-okay…Issei.”

The silence between you stretches and settles, feeling almost comfortable as you sit together and look out at the dark horizon.

“You know it probably didn’t mean anything,” he says, as you slide onto the step above him.

You brush a damp layer of sand from your lower calf and consider feigning ignorance. In the end, you’re unable to shake it off.

“It didn’t look like that,” you say bitterly. “It seemed like he was having a lot of fun, actually.”

“Oh come on,” he says, his curls ruffling softly in the breeze, “you know what Makki’s like. He’s just down for anything.”

You sigh. You know this to be true, you just thought that maybe, just maybe, that something would change because something between you had changed. At least you thought it did.

“Trust me,” Matsukawa says, shoulder brushing against your hip as he leans back. “He likes you.”

“Really?” you breathe, catching the dark shine of his eyes when he turns to look at you.

“Yeah, I mean,” the wooden step creaks as he places his weight on it, “isn’t it obvious?” His gaze flickers down to your Cupid’s bow.

You swallow, suddenly wondering if he can see the stray smudge of tinted gloss on your upper chin.

“Issei,” you begin, your own voice sounding far away. “Do you think he thinks that I’m…”

He tilts his head. “That you’re…?”

“Pretty,” you utter, just above a whisper. You clear your throat. “Do you think he thinks I’m pretty?”

Matsukawa softens. “Of course he does,” he murmurs, shifting to sit on the step beside you.

“I know I do.”

“Really?” you blurt out, cheeks warm.

“Yes.” He gives you a sidelong glance. “I think you’re beautiful.”

Your next action, fuelled by the lingering buzz of liquor, is far clumsier than you’d like. You lean towards him and clumsily crush your lips against his—or at least where you think his lips are—only to miss and bump against his jaw. Thankfully, he only readjusts and smiles into your next kiss, his hand settling on your waist as he moves in closer.

His fingers ghost across your cheek and you draw in a stuttering breath, your mind spinning as he cages you against the worn steps. He plants a knee between your legs, nudging apart your thighs and if you were any less drunk, you think you’d feel a little bit of shame for being so pliant. However, even the thought of it is extinguished when he dips into the crook of your neck and drags his tongue across the hollow of your throat.

“I-Issei.” you squirm, your chest fluttering as he slips his hand up the hem of your shirt. He moves back up to kiss you, open-mouthed and languid as you continue to moan into his mouth.

It’s only a few seconds later when a cough sounds somewhere to your right and you yelp, scrambling backward as Issei looks up.

“Hey man,” he says to Hanamaki, still caging you beneath him.

“Oh my god,” is the only thing you’re able to utter. Your eyes dart between the two men, your chest tightening as the shock causes your limbs to lock in place.

“What’s up?” Hanamaki asks, sounding entirely calm. Amused, even.

Matsukawa’s eyes land on your shocked expression and it takes three whole seconds for him to back off of you.

“You know,” he replies, winking at you before turning away, “just hanging out.”

“Can I—?” Hanamaki asks, motioning towards you and Matsukawa stands up.

“Yeah, for sure.”

You watch as Matsukawa jaunts off the last step of the tower, steps softened by the sand as he walks away. Swallowing, you stare down at the ground, your pulse thundering in your ears as Hanamaki approaches you.

“Hey,” he says softly, wood creaking with his weight as he takes a seat beside you. “Can we talk?”

An agonizing mix of embarrassment and anger causes your throat to stick.

“Sorry about before, I just…” He reclines, planting an elbow between you. “It was just a stupid dare.”

“Didn’t look that way to me,” you snark before cringing at your own hypocritical nature.

“I know,” he mumbles. “But I promise that I don’t like Sumire like that. And I know that it was fucked up for me to kiss her like that in front of you, especially when—”

You glance up at him.

“—especially when I know how you feel about me.”

Blood rushes to your cheeks and you snap your gaze away again. You hear the water recede across the shore.

“Do you like Mattsun?” he asks as you watch a small wave lap across the sand.

“What?” Because that wasn’t the question you were expecting.

“Mattsun,” he reiterates, a half-smile playing at his lips. “Do you like him?”

“I—” you knit your brow, brain scrambling to piece together an appropriate response. You try not to think of your neck, still sensitive from the light drag of his teeth across your pulse point. “N-not in the way that I… I mean, I don’t really know him as well as—”

“It’s okay,” Hanamaki continues, entirely unperturbed. “I know he likes you.”

“Oh.” You twist your fingers into the sleeve of his sweater.

“I like you too,” he adds and you blink. “I like you a lot.”

“I-is that so?” you reply, stunned. You’ve thought about this moment in a dozen different ways, cycling through different settings, details, and ways he could finally, finally say something, but never in a million years could you have predicted this.

“I think we should spend more time together,” he suggests with an easy smile. Not so far in the distance, you spot Matsukawa near the shore. “All three of us, I mean.”

He takes your hand in his, rubbing his thumb into the soft flesh of your palm.

“Would you like that?”

The gears turn slowly in your head, the situation still feeling hard to grasp as all the point are laid out in front of you.

You bite the inside of your cheek. “Can I think about it?”

“Of course,” he says breezily, before pulling you to your feet. “Take all the time you need.”

As if sensing the timing of the conclusion of your conversation, Matsukawa makes his way back toward you.

“We should really get back though.” Hanamaki says, as he leads you down the tower. “Before Iwaizumi thinks we all ran drunk into the sea and calls the coast guard.”

He keeps his hand in yours as you make your way back up the beach and Matsukawa falls in step beside you. You look up when his knuckles brush against the side of your arm and he gives you a knowing smirk.

Two is a good number for you, you think as you tentatively return his smile.

But three?

Three might be even better.

[tsumusangxl]

꒰ ୨୧ ─ ・┈ ・ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈・┈ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ꒱꒱

Summary ʚ Hinata and you have been friends since childhood, you guys went through thick and thin. You helped Hinata to achieve his dreams and supported him without a doubt.... But everything changed after he graduated and moved to Brazil, leading to the fall out of your friendship and to a heartbreak.

Iwaizumi and you met through Social Media, having one mutual friend,the one and only Oikawa Toruu. You never saw each other in person, since he studied in the States and you were still living in Japan, but you both grew close quickly. And maybe some different emotions came to the surface. Will you be able to move on? Or will you forgive Hinata? 

Pairing ʚ Hinata Shoyou x F!reader x Iwaizumi Hajime

Genre ʚ SMAU, Fluff, childhood friend!reader, Angst, childhood friends to lovers (hinata), love triangle, reader involved (voting,etc.), kinda second chance, slight age gap, comfort, strangers to friends to lovers (iwa), flashbacks,

Warnings ʚ Swearing, disregarding feelings, more specific content warning will be given at the start of each chapter

Status ʚ ongoing

Updates ʚ irregular

Love meter ʚ

Hinata ʚ 4%

Iwaizumi ʚ 0%

꒰ ୨୧ ─ ・┈ ・ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈・┈ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ꒱꒱

Masterlist ʚ

[5 Idiots and a brain] / [MBSY hotshots] / [Oikawa hateclub]

Chapter ʚ

zero - the struggle

one - the decision

two - the explanation

three - the regret

four - the surprise

five - the denial

six - the broken toy

seven - the meet up

eight - the promise

nine -

ten -

eleven -

twelfth -

...

꒰ ୨୧ ─ ・┈ ・ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈・┈ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ・┈ ─ ・┈꒱꒱

taglist ʚ @jojo23allegra @mjustag1rl @dazqa @gigiiiiislife

[flyingwargle]

whumptober day 1: panic attack

tw: panic attacks

iwaizumi knew today is going to be a bad one from the moment he woke up.

every step is akin to torture, leaden limbs refusing to cooperate with even the slightest movement. his gaunt expression stares back at him in the mirror, faintly encouraging him to take a day off. this wouldn't be the first time, nor the last, but the team has a practice match after school. their ace can't afford a mental health day, not when victory is on the line.

"morning, iwa-chan!" oikawa meets him on the corner of their block, a routine they've had since they were old enough to walk to school together. his best friend's chipper expression falls at iwaizumi's slumped shoulders and downturned eyes. "you look awful, even worse than usual. bad day?"

he nods. oikawa's smile is small, stretching his arm toward him. iwaizumi takes his hand, reassured by its strength, and lets him guide him to school.

morning practice is on the lighter side, which iwaizumi is grateful for. it's easy to turn his brain off for drills, guided by muscle memory and instinct. oikawa isn't as loud as usual, which is his teammates' cue that their ace is at the mercy of his anxiety, curbing their exuberance for his benefit.

at the end of practice, they change into their uniforms and head for the school building. oikawa hands iwaizumi a protein bar, leaves him with a gentle pat on the shoulder when they separate to their respective classrooms.

the buzz in his mind worsens as the day passes. iwaizumi doesn't retain anything from his lectures, barely takes any notes. at lunch, he stares at his bento while oikawa, hanamaki, and matsukawa chatter, ultimately reaching for the lid to put it away, untouched. that causes all conversation to cease, earning him an incredulous look from oikawa. "what?"

"you have to eat, iwa-chan," he says, stopping his hand. "we had morning practice, and a game after school. you need the energy."

"i'm not-"

"did you take your meds?" hanamaki asks.

he shakes his head. “they make me drowsy. i can’t fall asleep now.”

"i think that's better than this," matsukawa comments, gesturing with his chopsticks. "you aren't in any condition to play, anyway."

"i'll be fine," iwaizumi insists. "hanamaki is still out with his rolled ankle, and kunimi is absent. what kind of message are we sending, if all our regular spikers aren’t on the court?”

“it’s just a practice match,” oikawa points out. “it isn’t the end of the world, iwa-chan.” and yet, he can’t help but feel like it is, a tremor shaking his body at the idea of sitting out because of his anxiety. he isn’t that fragile. he can push passed this.

or so he thinks.

the end of the school day comes, and iwaizumi is back in the gym. jouzenji will arrive in an hour; in the meantime, he hardens his expression, directs his underclassmen and speaks with oikawa to finalize their line-up. “iwa-chan, you-“ he turns away, ignoring the rest of oikawa’s words to help their managers with the practice bibs.

jouzenji arrives, and after a quick warm-up, the match begins. iwaizumi starts in the back row, ready to receive. his heartbeat echoes in his ears, nearly drowning the whistle. the serve goes up, the ball flying across the net straight toward him.

shit, the ball is flying straight toward him. panic rises in his chest, raising his arms to receive, but it’s at an awkward angle, and it bounces out of bounds. the first point comes to jouzenji.

his heart lurches at the astonished looks around him. matsukawa claps his hands. “don’t mind,” he calls out. watari echoes him. the others turn away. iwaizumi gives a quick apology, avoiding oikawa’s eye.

watari picks up the second serve, and oikawa sets the rhythm. they go back and forth, and iwaizumi is rotated to the front. matsukawa serves, their opponents picking it up. matsukawa receives their spike, and iwaizumi makes his approach. he jumps, raises his arm. his fingers barely brush the ball.

it falls back on their side. iwaizumi looks at oikawa, hands still over his head. “iwa-chan-“ he tries to say.

“sorry. i’ll score the next one.” his limbs are still so heavy. same with his chest.

after a few rallies, he’s jumping for the spike again. a triple block rises over him, the ball floating in front of him. he musters his strength and spikes, a satisfying smash that echoes in his ears. except, the ball rebounds off the block and back onto the court. a point for jouzenji.

a chorus of don’t mind! arises. iwaizumi braces himself on his knees, breathless. he hears his opponents murmur behind him. are you sure that’s seijoh’s ace? was he always this pathetic? there are snickers and declarations of victory. his team is three points behind, jouzenji the first to reach 20. he hasn’t scored a single point, squandering every chance, being absolutely useless–

“iwaizumi.”

coach. he beckons him with his finger, and iwaizumi stumbles toward him. “i don’t want you to play in this condition. take a break.”

“i’m fine, i just–“

“it isn’t a suggestion, but an order. sit out.”

iwaizumi freezes. his replacement takes his place on the court. instead of sitting with hanamaki on the bench, he drags his feet to the locker room, shoving the door open, and sinking onto the nearest bench.

the anxiety that’s been building since the moment he woke up finally claims him.

his breaths are short. the air is sweltering. his chest hurts with every gasp, tears at the corners of his eyes. he squeezes them shut, tries to count his breaths like his therapist taught him, but his thoughts run rampant, a deafening symphony that makes him feel smaller and smaller.

you’re useless. you just left your team behind without scoring a single point. what kind of ace are you? useless, failure, don’t deserve to play, weak, weak, weak–

“hajime.” a voice cuts through the darkness, a bridge of light through the spiral. “hajime, listen to me, okay? let’s get your breathing under control, hm?”

iwaizumi gasps like a fish out of water. the voice is unperturbed, counts his breaths with a measured tone. a hand rests on his back, rubbing counterclockwise circles. “you’re doing well,” the voice soothes. a handkerchief touches his cheeks to dry his tears. “you’re safe with me, iwa-chan. you’re doing so well.”

that makes him open his eyes. he’s still in the locker room, oikawa seated beside him, still in his practice uniform, #1 bib over his shirt. iwaizumi tries to speak, his words caught in his throat. oikawa places a finger on his lips, shaking his head. “don’t talk, just breathe. it’s just us. take your time.”

the last of his panic recedes, leaving him boneless, as always. iwaizumi leans against oikawa, fresh wave of tears springing in his eyes. “why’re you here?” he rasps.

“do you really think i’d keep playing, knowing my best friend is having a panic attack? yahaba-chan is a good setter, you know. mattsun can take care of the team; we’re heading home.”

“what? but-“

“no buts. we’re going home and you’re going to take your meds. i asked makki to text auntie what happened, so she’ll make your comfort food, and i’ll feed you. then, you’re going to sleep. i’d say take a bath too, but that can wait.” oikawa turns to him, expression solemn. “it was dumb of you to play like this, iwa-chan. just because you aren’t physically hurt doesn’t mean you can pretend you’re fine.”

iwaizumi deflates. he used to give oikawa so much shit about overworking, but when it came to his own mental health, he always pushed through, even if it left him exhausted or worse, panicked. “sorry,” he mumbles.

oikawa shakes his head. “there’re more matches, you know. it’s okay to sit out when you have to. ready to go?” he stands first, supporting iwaizumi every step through changing and then out of the locker room. they leave with the match to their backs, the sounds of the court reminding iwaizumi of what’s to come, but only if he cares for himself better.

he’ll learn. he has to.

[sophiria]

Shaken series

a soft yandere tale

main pairings: Matsukawa x fem!reader x Hanamaki, Sakusa x fem!reader x Atsumu, Suna x fem!reader, fem!reader x undisclosed

warnings: 18+, dubcon due to alcohol in the first chapter, explicit sexual content and explicit language, manipulation, angsty undertones, non-consensual photo-taking and sharing in the first and second chapter, moral ambiguity, mind games, power imbalance, more warnings and tags to be found on ao3

Highball (first chapter, ft. Matsukawa x you x Hanamaki)

Sour (second chapter, ft. past Sakusa x you x Atsumu and present Matsukawa x you x Hanamaki)

Mudslide (published only on ao3. It's the third chapter, ft. Suna x you, plus an 'unnamed' male character x you. Iwaizumi, Matsukawa and Hanamaki also appear.)

[1221-writes]

He can't be serious can he?

Summary- Oikawa, after a fresh loss to Shiratorizawa Academy in the Interhigh Preliminaries, finds himself sitting down in a hallway away from the rest of his team trying to cool off. While waiting for the bus to be ready to take the dejected Seijoh volleyball team back to their school a girl runs into him. Assuming she’s one of his fangirls he puts on his trademark smile and is taken aback when she doesn’t seem all that charmed.

5.4k words

Being dragged through a crowd of people through an unfamiliar building to watch a volleyball game wasn’t your idea of a good way to spend your Saturday, but here you were. Coerced by your friends promises that it would be fun, or at the very least interesting. Mei was friends with one of Oikawa's fangirls, Chiyo. After witnessing her obsession over Oikawa and dedicating herself to attending every match Seijoh played both home games and away games no matter what. Mei had developed a curiosity as to what could cause so many girls to spend this much of their free time on a sport they don’t even play.

However, not wanting to watch the match with a bunch of girls squealing about something she isn’t quite as passionate about, she opted to not join Chiyo at the match against Shiratorizawa Academy. Instead opting to drag you and your other friend Emi Out to the match with her. Emi, equally as curious about the games as her, more than willing to spend her Saturday at the match.

You yourself were not as easily convinced but ultimately coerced with Mei’s pleas and promises that you wouldn’t regret going. “Come on (Y/N) It will be fun! The fan club has got to be on to something for all of them to be this obsessed and dedicated.”

You rolled your eyes at her “The something they are on is their fantasies about the team”

Emi chimed in with a comment you had no interest in being privy to. “I mean, it’s not exactly unreasonable. Our school's volleyball team is hot. Surely even you can see it.”

You shot her a glare as she giggled at your expense. “I’m not judging them for liking the team, but I have no interest in fawning over any of the players myself.”

“I think the match will be interesting to watch. I just would much rather spend my Saturday at home, or hanging out at a cafe or something like we usually do.”

But to your dismay Mei was persistent, and had gotten Emi on her side resulting in you being where you were now. Standing outside a huge building with a crowd of people around you walking through the doors,and chattering loudly in their groups. ‘So many people are here, I guess it makes since it is the finals’

Mei pulled you out of your thoughts and the spot you were previously standing. “Come on, we should hurry inside so we can get good seats!”

Emi agreed with her quickly walking in step with Mei as she dragged you through the front door “Yeah, we should definitely go in now, didn’t you say Chiyo told you that all of Seijoh’s matches were packed?”

You couldn’t help the sarcasm that dripped from your tongue. “Ah yes, we needed Chiyo's words to tell us that the place we are currently at that’s filled to the brim with people is in fact packed.”

Emi was quick to poke you in the side but had otherwise ignored what you said, while Mei just laughed still dragging you along, and now straight through the front doors of the massive building.

Immediately you were overwhelmed with the heat that only comes from too many people being confined in one area, and unintelligible, loud, gibberish from too many conversations happening at once. ‘How are there more people inside than outside?’

Emi, and Mei were clearly nowhere near as bothered as you were by the new environment you had entered into. Talking amongst themselves about which way to go to get to the court. You weren’t paying much attention to the conversation though, content to let Mei continue to drag you around until the match was over and you could go home.

It only took a few minutes for Mei and Emi to decide where to go, once again dragging you along. As they led you down multiple different long hallways, taking many different turns you looked around at all the people in the overcrowded building, and you couldn’t help but find yourself wishing you were anywhere but here. The unnerving presence of everything around you is taking its toll on you. Being around other people in general wasn’t really your thing, but crowds were even worse bringing out an overwhelming sense of danger and panic.

Although as much as you still hate crowds you have made progress in leaps and bounds with your tolerance to them. ‘I’m never going to like being surrounded by strangers. How is this enjoyable to everyone? I doubt everyone else is fighting against their disdain to participate in activities.’

‘I mean surely if they were then there wouldn’t be a crowd at all. Everyone would just stay home.’

‘I wish I had just stayed home.’

Once again you were pulled out of your thoughts by a now very exited Mei now standing in the doorway leading into the court “Yes! There’s still some good seats!”

Emi seemed to brim with just as much excitement as Mei did “People must be hanging out in and around the building until it gets closer to the time the match will start. This is perfect, we'll be able to see the game clearly in front row seats!”

‘Front row seats? This is the finals, and there's already so many people here. How are there front row seats available right now?’

This time when Mei moved to drag you she was met with resistance as you planted your feet into the ground fixing her with an angry look from the depths of your soul. “Mei… why are there so many seats available right now?”

Emi bent over laughing as Mei was left with a cheeky albeit slightly nervous look on her face. “Well, ya know… good seats are important to properly experiencing a game for the first time.”

“We want to watch the match, not the back of people's heads.”

Emi managed to stop laughing long enough to save her from being the one to tell you the information they had been withholding from you. “The match doesn’t start for another hour.”

“You told me to be ready to leave by two P.M sharp! So we would be here by three for the match!” you seethed

Emi was quick to retort. “Well, you could have taken the time to look into what your dearest friends are interested in. Then you would have known the match started at four and not three!”

The irritation was bubbling up in your veins, and you were about to lay into them both for deceiving you, but before you could,

“Mei?”

The three of you spun around to see who was calling the lying brats your friends name.

Mei’s face lit up and she walked over to embrace the girl. “Chiyo!”

Chiyo and the other fangirls that accompanied her to the game greeted Mei, and probably said something to you and Emi as well, but you were not paying any attention to that. Instead Glaring into the back of Mei’s skull with a look that could kill.

Even when Chiyo and her friends left you three in favor of going to go find seats your eyes didn’t move from the back of Mei’s head.

And as Mei slowly turned around you deadpanned “You made us get here before even the fangirls got here.”

Emi once again burst into laughter. “I don’t know what you are laughing about! You’re just as bad! You two might as well have let me stay home and gone with Chiyo and her friends, you would fit right in.” you stated in exasperation while rolling your eyes.

“What was the plan here? Sit around and do nothing for an entire hour?” you continued.

Mei shrugged at your irritation. “Relax, it’s only an hour, and it will be worth it for the good seats!”

“Oh really? And you of course would know this seeing as you're the expert at watching volleyball games despite never being to one either.” you spat

Despite upholding your sarcasm you had already resigned yourself to the hour of boredom, and the volleyball match that stood in your way of going home. You cared about your friends and they cared about you. You wouldn’t dream of interacting with other people the way you interacted with them. You were grateful that they had patience with you around this kind of stuff, even if you weren’t thrilled to be hanging out in a crowd at a volleyball game, you were willing to sit through it for your friends.

So you let Mei and Emi lead you to front row seats and decided to try and not be as hostile. You really didn’t mean to be, it was just the overstimulation getting to you. Even now when the bleachers were empty enough for front row seats to still be available it was loud.

Emi and Mei chattered on about all the assignments that their math teacher had assigned for homework over the weekend to pass the time.

“Ugh, (Y/N) you have no idea how lucky you are to have a different math class!” Emi whined.

“No kidding.” Mei added in solemn agreement.

“At least if I was in your math class we would all be together instead of me being alone.”

Mei was quick to shut your thought process down. “Or we could have all been blessed to be in your math class.”

“The people next to me in my math class talk the entire lecture, you’d never get anything done.”

“But no, instead me and Mei get four whole pages of homework!” Emi pouted, ignoring your comment entirely.

“Over the weekend!” Mei continued pouting as well.

You rolled your eyes with a small smile at their complaints. Your math class might not assign as much homework as theirs did but the exams were brutal, and you know once one of them creeped closer your complaints would match theirs.

The more time that passed the more people would slowly trickle into the room, filling up the available seats. As apprehensive as you were to be an hour early, time wasn’t going as slowly as you had thought it would. Just when there was only fifteen minutes before the match was scheduled to start, a sea of people flooded through the doors, all of them rushing to find any available seats they could.

A chill ran down your spine at the idea of a bigger crowd than you had been expecting. You had thought that the already crowded bleachers would be it, maybe a few stragglers, but definitely not another huge crowd of people.

Your mind was growing foggy, not being able to take in all of the things going on, lungs not refusing to take in enough air, short quick breaths taking place instead of the stable slower ones you logically knew you needed, but logic played no part in panic.

‘No, no, no, not again, I need to calm down.’

‘Nothing’s wrong! Everything is fine!’

‘I’ve gotten better.’

‘So why can’t I breathe?’

The familiar stinging sensation as your eyes started to fill with tears was not helping you ground yourself. Just as the breath catching in your lungs was about to push you over the edge, the world graced you with the distraction you needed to ground yourself back into reality. ~THWACK~

A stray volleyball flew through the air at impossible speeds hitting the wall directly underneath your seat. The players had entered the court and started warming up without you even realising it, too caught up in your head.

~Oikawa’s POV~

“Oi, If you’re going to miss terribly, send the ball into your team's cheer section, not mine.” Oikawa goaded at the spiker who had sent the stray ball flying.

Iwaizumi was dragging him away from the spiker within seconds.“Stop wasting our warm up time trashykawa!”

“Awww, Iwa-chan come on.”

“No! Go warm up!”

Oikawa went to grab a volleyball and start warming up, but turned towards the spiker sticking out his tongue, and pulling his left eye down to continue taunting him. “Watch carefully so I can introduce you to this thing we call aim.”

~Readers POV~

Even from the stands it was obvious Oikawa had been childishly teasing the other team's spiker, with your now clear head you had enough sense to roll your eyes at the childish antics your school's team captain was displaying.

You watched as Oikawa walked over to the serving line and rhythmically bounced the ball twice against the floor of the court before tossing it high into the air, jumping up after it, slamming his palm against it with immense strength, sending it barreling over the net straight into the ground on the other side of the court.

You didn’t even notice the noise of the crowd that had sent you spiraling just a few minutes prior. Just sitting there staring at the ball that had now rolled to a stop after its journey through the air.

As it turned out, knowing that your school's volleyball team was powerful and seeing it first hand were two different things.

“Wow, Chiyo and her friends are definitely on to something obsessing over him.” Mei laughed

“He was hot before that, but damn.” Emi tacked on

You couldn’t control the eye roll you gave them if you tried. “Really, that's where your mind goes from that?”

“That's not where your mind goes after witnessing that?” Emi asked, wiggling her eyebrows in a highly disturbing manner. Laughing at you with Mei.

“I’m sorry for being the normal one.” you deadpanned.

Mei pointed towards Chiyo and her friends who were still cheering Oikawa's name, praising him for his serve. “We’re the majority, you’re the weird one!”

“It's healthy to have your attention caught every once in a while. How else are you supposed to get motivation to get out of bed if not from hot boys?” Emi teased.

“Eventually we’re going to find someone that catches your eye, and we’re gonna get you a boyfriend!” Mei joined in with Emi’s teasing.

You turned red with both embarrassment and irritation. “I don’t want a boyfriend, go back to leering creepily at the volleyball team and leave me alone.”

“Awww, you’re all red (Y/N) look at her Mei, maybe she’s thinking of someone that already caught her eye, maybe you made her think of going on a date with him!”

Forget irritation now you felt anger course through your veins, you were ready to tear into them both when Mei spoke first. “Pfft, nah, if she thought of someone like that for even a fraction of a second she’d spontaneously combust on the spot! She’s the most emotionally constipated person I’ve ever met, no way could she hide her feelings!”

“Trueeee” Emi agreed with Mei howling in laughter together as your face burned in shame and fury.

“Shut up.”

Fortunately the match had started so your bullies friends opted to settle down and watch the match instead of continuing making fun of you for your disinterest in dating.

~Oikawa’s POV~

Shiratorizawa won the coin toss, meaning they were serving first. The pressure was on, the simmering rivalry was being brought to an all out boil in his veins. The desire to win against Ushijima for once instead of taking home the bitter bile of yet another loss burning him to his core.

‘We’re going to beat them this time. We have to.’

Tsutomu Goshiki sent a powerful serve over the net not with as much power as Ushijima or himself would be able to, but with an amount of power that showed exactly why he was a part of the coveted Shiratorizawa team.

Watari was able to receive the ball, sending it straight up and directly to him allowing him to set to Iwaizumi.

‘Come on Iwa, we could use an early point.’

Iwaizumi jumped after the ball, hitting it with all his might clearly on the same page of ending the first rally early and in their favor, but Shiratorizawa was able to receive the ball with relative ease.

The tension on the team was palpable. The guess monster creep didn’t even block Iwaizumi’s spike and they were still unable to score the point.

The team couldn’t afford to be distraught over this, the ball was already hurling back over the net from the force of ushijima’s powerful spike.

Despite the minor sense of dejection that the team faced from the failed attempt, Hanamaki stepped up and managed to receive the impressive spike with the help of Matsukawa’s one touch.

The ball was off course but that didn’t matter as long as the ball didn’t touch their side of the court. Iwaizumi dived after the ball, bumping it back into the air and to their teams control tower once again.

Shaking off the failed spike himself, he went to set the ball to Kindaichi. Watching as Kindaichi jumped into the air getting ready to strike, he instead dumped the ball over the net. Watching Ushijima’s face as Hayato Yamagata, Satori Tendō, dived after the ball but failed to receive it. Enjoying the look of frustration that passed over his features. “Oh Ushijima, you gotta be smart, don’t tell me you’re all brawn no brains. A top three ace but couldn’t stop a setter dump?”

Ushijima glared at him through the net. “That trick will only work once. You’ve never won against us before, you won’t win against us now, our teams simply better than yours.

Rage simmered underneath his skin. Iwaizumi pulled him out of his blind fury. “Oikawa! Stop arguing, and let's win this, he’ll have to eat his words when we crush them before we even get to a third set.”

“Yeah… lets win this time.”

He was focused now, it was about damn time they won against the powerhouse that always seemed to be the thing standing in his way. Ushijima’s words didn’t matter, they had scored the first point after all, and they definitely wouldn’t matter when they won.

‘Well those words will matter when I get to rub them in his ugly face.’

“Oikawa, fix your face, and get ready! It’s our turn to serve!”

“Fine fine, calm down Iwa-chan I’m ready.”

The game went on, each team fighting for points to be able to take the first set for themselves. Ultimately it was Seijoh who walked away with the first set managing to edge out Shiratorizawa by two points.

The team erupted into cheers thrilled to be able to have taken the first set by two points nonetheless. Much better than previous games they played against Shiratorizawa, things were looking really promising.

Hope, and adrenaline were bubbling up inside him, he was excited to stand against Ushijima and take the lead. This was it, he was finally going to beat Ushijima, and then he was going to go on to nationals.

‘Everythings finally going my way, all the hard work is actually going to pay off, all the late practices, and even later solo training afterwards is all going to be worth it.’

‘Ushijima, I’m going to show you that I’m worthy to play against those of you with raw talent.’

‘That I’m just as good as you, even if I have to work for it.’

Point, after point, after point. It was slipping through his fingers and it seemed that no matter how hard he tried he was useless to stop it. Shiratorizawa took the second set by six points. Six points. More than double what Seijoh had taken the first by.

“Tch, six whole points!”

‘And to think, were were so fucking happy to have won the first one by a measly two points.’

“Calm down Oikawa. We’ll take the next set.” Iwaizumi tried to soothe the sting of the blatant loss of the set, but even he himself didn’t seem all that convinced.

The whole team was falling into their dejection, he as the captain, and control tower of the game, needed to get everyone in gear. Raise moral, but he couldn’t drag himself out of the pit his mind had dug him into.

The third and final set began with Seijoh still feeling the sting of the second set, but they had no more time between sets. It was game time weather they were ready or not.

Once again Ushijima Shiratorizawa scored far too many points in succession. Oikawa himself and all of his teammates were all exhausted. Spending all of their energy futilely trying to defend against the brutal attacks sent their way, and left with not nearly enough energy to counterattack. Not in the way they needed to in order to win at least.

It was Ushijimas set point, Hayato Yamagata had received Kunimi’s last attack, and Eita Semi was setting the ball to Ushijima to carry out the final blow to his dreams.

The ball flew through the air on course to slam directly onto their side of the court at a horrifying speed.

“NO NO NO!”

His legs were heavy with impending exhaustion, and yet he dove for the ball anyways in desperation.

But it didn’t matter, his effort wasn’t nearly enough. The ball slammed into the ground an entire foot away from him. The whistle blew for the last time and it was over.

He had lost.

Again.

~Readers POV~

Half the gym erupted into cheers, while the other half muttered to each other in disappointment of their team losing, your friends a part of the latter.

“Awww damn, I really thought they had it after they won the first set!” Mei whined

“I know! I thought for sure they had it in the bag!” Emi joined in.

“…Yeah.” You were still staring at the court, one half celebrating, and the other half, your half standing on the court with an air of despair around them.

It was unsettling to say the least, it was reaching you all the way in the stands and making your guts twist in an unfamiliar way. It was different than anything else you've experienced before, nothing like the feeling your anxiety gives you. You knew that the feelings you were getting from being in their proximity could have only been a fraction of what the team still on the court were feeling.

‘Both teams were so good at the game, they both deserved to win, and yet one of them is walking away with nothing.’

“Well, I think it was well worth coming even if Seijoh didn’t win, that was so intense, it was exhilarating!” Emi squealed.

“Do you even know what that word means?” You teased.

“HEY! I used it in a sentence correctly didn’t I? Have some faith in me jeez!” Emi retorted

Mei joined you in laughter as people around you started to gather their things and head to the exit. “We should wait until it clears out a bit before leaving, that way we don’t have to deal with the insane crowd of people while trying to leave.” Mei proposed.

“Definitely, since we got here early the crowd on the way out will be much worse than it was when we first got here.” Emi agreed

‘Worse than when we got here?’

You shuddered at the thought of that. “Yeah. let's do that then.”

Eventually the majority of people had made their way out and only your little group and a few other groups of stragglers remained, Chiyo's group being one of them.

“Hey mei! Did you guys enjoy the match?” Chiyo asked excitedly

“Yeah, it was really cool, but… uh shouldn’t you be a little disappointed? I mean Oikawa lost, don’t you like him?” Mei asked

“Well yeah, but he looked so cool the entire time! I mean did you see those amazing serves he got in? And oh my god when he…” Chiyo's entire group seemed to light up at the opportunity to rave about Oikawa.

You found yourself tuning it out drifting off into your own mind. ‘I guess that's really what it is then. Superficial, even when it’s so obvious the loss took a great toll on him and the team, the only thing they notice is how cool they think he is.’

‘I mean there's nothing really wrong with it there, not actually friends with him they just admire him and he plays into it happily enjoying the attention.’

‘Both sides are happy with it, a win win I guess.’

“And when he dumped the ball right in front of Ushijima!” Chiyo gushed.

Your mouth moved before your brain could catch up. “That was really interesting…”

Mei and Emi shot you a look, but otherwise took mercy on you considering you were in front of Chiyo and her friends.

Chiyo squealed in excitement at your agreement, and you immediately decided you needed an escape plan.

“I’m going to go to the bathroom before we leave.”

“Okay, we’ll wait here for you, and then we can head home when you get back.” Emi said, chuckling at your eagerness to leave before Chiyo could gush directly to you about Oikawa.

“Oh, and maybe we can stop at a cafe on the way home!” Mei added clearly her way of trying to appease you for dragging you to the match.

That perked you up, the thought of a sweet treat making your mouth water. You decided you’d accept her appeasement. “Yeah, that sounds nice!”

With that you started walking to the bathroom, or at least in the direction you hoped the bathroom was, but ten minutes later and still no bathroom in sight you were starting to get frustrated

‘I should have paid more attention when they were dragging me through the halls. Where even am I right now?’

‘Why is this place so big, what is this, the imperial palace?’

As you continued walking down the big halls you came to a smaller more secluded hallway. Sitting against the wall holding a volleyball in his hands was none other than Oikawa, sitting with the devastating anguish of the loss. The proximal feelings you had gotten all the way in the stands were amplified by being this close to him, and being able to see the expression on his face made empathy bubble up inside you.

“Oh…”

You didn’t mean to say anything out loud but it was too late now his head snapped towards you. The look in his eyes was intense, it made you uneasy, you were half tempted to turn on your heels and walk away.

Instead your face twisted into a weak smile, trying to be sympathetic to the boy sitting in front of you. You were quiet when you spoke again, surprising yourself that any words came out at all.

“You… you played well, I’m sorry you lost…”

And just like that the intense expression on his face evaporated right along with the thick tension in the air. Instead an overly friendly smile graced his features.

“Oh thank you! I’m glad you came out to watch me, and are still happy to have come out even though we lost.”

“I’m grateful to have such sweet fans like you!” He said now spinning the volleyball on one of his fingers, putting on a show.

You felt like you had just been given whiplash with how quickly the atmosphere changed. The cocky bastard thought you were one of his fangirls, and that was all it took to perk him up. Conceited brat was all for someone stroking his ego. To the point that even the lame condolence you gave was enough for him to create a false narrative of worship in his head.

The irritation at his assumptions was getting to you.

“I’m not your fan.” You involuntarily rolled your eyes as you said it.

“No need to be embarrassed! I really am happy to have fans like you, and I mean why else would you come looking for me after my match? No need to be shy or anything, would you like a photo? Maybe an autograph?”

‘This little! Son of a! I can’t even with him! Is he serious?’

Your face twisted up into frustration, and the heat was scorching your face from your irritation. Heat and frustration he was clearly misinterpreting as something else only further serving to tick you off.

“Awww, here don’t worry you don’t have to ask.” he grabbed a piece of paper and a pen from his bag jotting down his name before getting up and walking over to you, volleyball forgotten on the ground where he was sitting. He held the paper out in front of him as you stared at him incredulously.

“Here take it, It’s made just for you!”

“I told you I’m not one of your fans!” you blurted out, and you were helpless to stop the exasperated word vomit that followed.

“I didn’t come looking for you, I just wanted to find the stupid bathroom so I can go home! I didn’t even want to come watch the dumb game in the first place!”

“…Oh… well… sorry.” he said half haphazardly in reaction to your minor mental break.

“I didn’t mean to assume you know who I am, I just figured since you came to the game and came to talk to me in the hallway that you at least liked me a little bit.” he teased.

“I already told you I didn’t come to talk to you on purpose.” You seethed.

He just giggled at you, shooting you another charming smile. “I’m Oikawa, what’s your name?”

‘You have got to be kidding me.’

‘No, he’s completely serious right now.’

You rolled your eyes at him again before walking away. “I know who you are.”

It was then that you noticed Iwaizumi standing in the secluded hallway as well. You wondered how long he had been standing there, how much of your conversation he had overheard. He was scowling at Oikawa though, and then he turned to face you as you were about to pass him, continuing on your way.

“I’m sorry about him (Y/N), the bathroom is just two lefts away.”

“Ah, thank you!”

With that you walked away, grateful for the directions Iwaizumi had given you. You didn’t know him well but he was always nice to you from the limited interactions you’ve had.

‘I can’t wait to get home, this was SO not worth it, I renounce my acceptance of Mei’s appeasement cafe offer! Not even a sweet treat is worth the hassle of that conceited prick.’

~Oikawa’s POV~

The girl who was apparently definitely not a fan of his was now out of sight and presumably earshot because Iwaizumi had taken the opportunity to spike the volleyball he had abandoned directly into his stomach, and start scolding him.

“Damnit shittykawa! What is wrong with you, you're so damn rude!”

“Owwww! Iwa-Chan what gives, I was being nice, trying to give her an autograph!”

“What gives is you acted like a conceited asshole! You should have known she wasn’t one of your fans!”

“How would I know that!? She walked up to me after a game, why would she go this way to get to the bathroom?”

“She was clearly trying to play it off out of embarrassment!”

“She probably just isn’t familiar with this building! And you should have known she wasn’t your fangirl regardless!”

“How do you know her name anyways Iwa?”

“The same way you should have known she wasn’t a fan of yours!”

“Would you like to tell me what that is? Or would you like to continue yelling at me about it forever!”

“Oikawa you idiot! She sits right next to us in our math class!”

[iluvangel]

˚˖𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒✧˚.🎀༘⋆ 𝑴𝑰𝑵𝑰𝑳𝑰𝑺𝑻 ˚˖𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒✧˚.🎀༘⋆

• HAIKYUU •

• will be updated regularly

★ K A R A S U N O 🏐🐦‍⬛:

WHOLE TEAM ❗️

kink list

★ N E K O M A 🏐🐈‍⬛:

★ A O B A J O H S A I 🏐🏰:

★ D A T E T E C H 🏐⛓️:

WHOLE TEAM ❗️

kink list

★ F U K U R Ō D A N I 🏐🦉:

★ S H I R A T O R I Z A W A 🏐📢:

★ I N A R I Z A K I🏐🦊:

★ M O R E T H A N O N E🏐:

•their reactions to u sleeping while cuddling a pillow

★ O T H E R 🏐:

( I don’t like their schools but I love these characters)

[distant-screaming]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Haikyuu!! Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei Characters: Hanamaki Takahiro, Matsukawa Issei Additional Tags: Angst, Poetry, No Dialogue, Melancholy, Confessions, Best Friends Series: Part 5 of Whumptober 2024 Summary:

the steps to stealing a cloud, laid out in careful detail. follow at your own risk.

(or: a poem about feelings - or more specifically, falling in love with your best friend.)

[rosy-126]

We’ll Meet Again In The Stars

Trigger warning: suicide

Oikawa has always liked Iwaizumi. Since the first day he saw him, he knew that he was in love. Iwaizumi was never the type to attract a lot of people. Usually it was Oikawa who got all the attention.

(Iwaizumi, Hanamaki, and Matsukawa has made countless jokes that Oikawa even attracted Ushijima.)

Oikawa knew that he had a chance with his beloved Iwa-chan. If Iwaizumi chose anyone it would be him.

But it wasn’t.

After they parted ways for college and university, Iwaizumi met someone whom he was interested in. She was everything to him. He was everything to her.

Oikawa returned to his plain apartment after a long day at work. He checked the mail as usual. (Not there was usually anything important there.) So you can imagine his surprise when he opened it up to find Iwaizumi’s wedding invitation.

Last he knew Iwaizumi was single! Oikawa’s mind flooded with so many thoughts.

When?

How?

Why?

Why not him?

Oikawa thought that he would be the one with Iwaizumi. He was happy but…

Oikawa was honestly still pouting when he was on the plane back to Miyagi. Not that there was anything he could do.

Oikawa sighed as he rung the doorbell. A few seconds passed. Then… an all too familiar face opened the door.

“IWA-CHAN!!” Oikawa practically squealed at the sight.

“Shut up Shittykawa,” replied Iwaizumi.

“Heheh,” Oikawa ruffled his hair, “Sorry. Just excited to see you.”

Iwaizumi just rolled his eyes and let him inside. After a quick house tour, some introductions, and catching up, it was time for Oikawa to go back to the hotel he rented.

Oikawa was glad Iwaizumi found someone. She was nice and sweet. She seemed so perfect compared to him.

Oikawa mentally slapped himself. He’d promised himself that he’d stop comparing himself with others. This wasn’t even about volleyball!

The soft city sounds lulled Oikawa to sleep.

A few days later:

Iwaizumi walked glumly to the cemetery.

One second Oikawa was sleeping on a hotel bed, the next he was found dead.

He hung himself!

Why would he even think about that!

Iwaizumi postponed the wedding with everyone’s agreement. It felt wrong to be so happy when his childhood best friend suicided.

Police had found a note in Oikawa’s hand that read “For Iwaizumi Hajime”.

Iwaizumi was surprised at first. But he opened the letter anyways.

Hey Iwa-chan

I just needed to tell you something before I go. I love you. I always have. But I’m happy you found someone to be happy with. Maybe one day we’ll meet again in the stars.

Love Tooru

Iwaizumi started to tear up, “Shittykawa. That idiot!”

He started to cry even harder.

Choking down his tears he said, “But, yeah. Maybe one day we will meet again in the stars.”

“I’ll always be here with you Iwa-chan.”

[minxrfeelings]

just watched the holiday and tell me why i can see makki as a miles type — lovable and adorable and the type to yearn after someone that’s not good for him, even though he knows, he knows but he gets drawn back like moth to a flame, time and time again

[lodi-writes]

Little drabble based on @mintmatcha 's Soggy fics, I think about them occasionally, usually alone while cycling through miscellaneous shower thoughts, and this time I couldn't get it out of my head so I had to do something about it lol (tw angst and character death)

...

Life is hardly ever fair - you accepted that long ago, years before you had ever met Makki. But once you did meet him, your confidence in that fact faltered, flickered like a candle in a gentle breeze. You even allowed yourself for fleeting moments in the dead of night to believe that maybe the universe was saying "it's your turn to be happy." That was all, of course, destroyed by that same universe as easily as a fruit fly being squished the moment you heard his diagnosis. That was the true moment in which you admitted fully, to your core, that life is hardly ever fair. So why then, as you sat at his bedside, holding his hand long past his last breath, were you cursing the universe? Why then, as you watched grim men take his lifeless body out of the room, all but unrecognizable from illness, did you scream and cry at them to bring him back? Why, if you already accepted how unfair it would be? You had already grieved him long before he left, yet that last glimmer of hope he held onto (perhaps on your behalf) being torn away from the world was so much worse than you could have ever imagined.

[rintarousgirl]

HAUNTING ME

a hanamaki takahiro smau <3

❀ - SYPNOSIS

y/n and hanamaki are best friends, or at least, you were in high school. growing up, you always had the biggest crush on your childhood best friend hanamaki takahiro, but after an unfortunate fallout between the two of you, you promised yourself you wouldn't let your feelings be toyed like that again. that is, until you run into him years in the future. now, you're both very successful models, stuck in the same PR photo shoot. after being featured on the cover of multiple fashion magazines, fans love the dyanmic between you two and your managers set up a pr relationship. how could you deal with hanamaki takahiro, your cruel ex from high school, now butting into your career? simple answer is, you couldn't.

❀ - WARNINGS

there will be alcohol and some suggestive stuff throughout the fic, but there will be warnings before each chapter for sensitive stuff relating specifically to that chapter. overall the fic deals with toxic relationships as well.

teasers

teaser 1 \ teaser 2

profiles

"people on magazine covers (+ y/n)" & "makimaki's stalkers"

chapters (note: chapter titles are submit to change!)

PART ONE: ghosts of my past 01. y/n's girlies 02. keeping up with maki 03. lights, cameras, action 04. stars shine 05. can't believe it, won't believe it 06. subtly 07. about whispers 08. out of my hands 09. keys to my heart 10. won't say i'm in love

PART TWO: don't leave me like this (not planned yet) 11. pretty when you cry 12. hold my hand 13. forgiveness 14. things i cant ever say 15. hurts like hell 16. nobodys daughter 17. could've, should've, would've 18. 19. 20.

please request, comment, or dm to be added to the taglist !! to be removed, do the same :))

a/n:

so, i'm starting another series, but this time it's with a lesser-liked character! i'm not gonna start it till after i finish "i wanna be yours" but i will drop teasers and what not. i hope this is well received because i know hanamaki is liked as a character but i havent seen anything for him so i really REALLY hope i can show y'all how cool he is. i wanna say a thanks to @idlerin who inspired "i wanna be yours" and "haunting me". hell, this masterlist is heavily based of theirs!! thank you so much for inspiring me, and i know SO SO many others agree <3

[prowlrsurge]

·˚ ༘ August | Matsuhana

"august slipped away into a moment in time, 'cause it was never mine."

chap 1/? | 1.3k words college au, fluff to angst, artist hanamaki hanamaki's pov

'Throughout the month of August, Hanamaki meets someone new, makes a friend, gets a lover, then gets heartbroken, all with the same person.'

On the first day of August Hanamaki meets someone who walks into the wrong room, and they take a walk to the right place. This results in a new friend, who will develop into more as the month progresses. Yet, they were never a real thing, and Matsukawa was never his.

This was originally started August 10th, 2022, so some parts are from the original version.

·˚ ༘ Links: ao3 wattpad