#I certainly got a kick out of it
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
p0lksaladannie ¡ 2 years ago
Text
Elvis live at the International Hotel in Las Vegas on August 21st, 1969.
310 notes ¡ View notes
wishchip106 ¡ 5 months ago
Text
thinking about how Charles had a direct phone line to the president in dark pheonix
the president would call him 🤯
“heehee late night chats with the president of the united states! 🤗😜”
and also the fact he just casually connects with nasa and they’re all used to it 😭
how much authority does this man have 🤨
i really don’t get what Raven was mad about for him doing all this press stuff
IF UR BESTIES WITH THE PRESIDENT YOU WONT BE SHOT IN THE STREETS
THE XMEN HAD FANS???? HOW IS THAT A BAD THING???
sure Charles might have a big ego but who wouldn’t when ur having tea in the white house and talking about government plans 🤨
i would honestly
step off the bald man Raven, he is risking plenty being a telepath and being trusted near government officials. i am sure as hell there are some anti-telepathy people around and about 😾
but also the president was a fake friend he immediately dropped Charles once his daughter started acting up
like BITCH??
like one incident and went “nah, public execution is back on”
Charles get urself some better friends 😿
Tumblr media
tf are you looking so ominous for
calm down
110 notes ¡ View notes
chiangyorange ¡ 3 months ago
Note
I just had some violent flashbacks of the peepaw polls. Hit me like a truck
hey bestie did u mean to drag my ass down with you
#i still hold rottmnt near and dear to my heart but my god. that experience was certainly something man. truly a once in a lifetime event#that i do NOT care to repeat my god. i know im in a place of privilege bc i got so far in the tourney but like. some of the fan base was#NOT very friendly to some folks at all and i did not care for it. meaning that any of those people i do NOT fuck with at all it was NOT tha#deep. chill out. i hated what that subsection of the fandom turned into and i hated that i might have participated in it and therefore#enabling it whether intentional or not. i just wanted to have fun.#people were getting Way too comfortable being mean and getting too comfortable putting certain blogs on pedestals which inevitably turned#certain spaces into like. worshiping those poor people who just wanted to run a blog for funny turtles. and i wanted NOTHING of that#i already did my time doing that (being the one to put a blog on a pedestal) and i do not want another fucking repeat of that oh my god it#was so fucking exhausting and a kick to the face when i got left with nothing at the fall out bc im pretty sure i didnt do shit but thats#unrelated so do not ask me about it#MAN THAT WAS BEFORE MY GMA DIED THATS CRAZY#anyway i didnt mean to turn this into a semi vent essay fucking oops#suffice to say i was going through uhhhhhh A Lot before i found and got way too into whatever the fuck im into rn#chiangy answers#anyway. any turtle followers that still look at this blog#lol. that was part of why i silently bowed out of rottmnt so silently
19 notes ¡ View notes
sysig ¡ 2 years ago
Photo
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Stop celebrating so loud, you’ll wake everyone up! (P1 | P2 | P3) (Patreon)
[Panel 1] Hater: *sigh* What a waste of my precious time. [SFX: beep boop!]
[Panel 2] Peepers: ...
[Panel 5] Peepers: YEAAAA
[Panel 6] Hater: QUIET OUT THERE!
[Panel 7] Peepers: Sorry sir! Hater: Hmph!
61 notes ¡ View notes
tohrinha ¡ 8 months ago
Text
Mineral Cup Round 1: Quartz vs Mercury
Could this be the most controversial match-up of round one? The always a bridesmaid, never a MinCup champion icon quartz goes up against infamous, alluring "is it even a mineral" mercury.
https://www.mineralcup.org/2024/vote/r1m11
QUARTZ
The most common single mineral in continental crust, we live on quartz! It may be the most recognized mineral around - but can it make it to the championship?
Name: From German Quarz, ultimately from Proto-Slavic *tvrd-, "hard".
Bling: Rainbows, ombres, inclusions, cat's eyes - you could make a gem exhibit on quartz alone! It carves beautifully, but its natural spikes are the definition of crystal. (And have I mentioned... conchoidal fracture?!)
Uses: In addition to art, quartz crystals are crucial in electronics - it's the key ingredient for silicon wafers, and its piezoelectricity (makes a current under stress) lets watches, radios, and computers keep time. There would be no MinCup without quartz!
Team Lick: Sure! It tastes like nothing.
Tumblr media
Parent GĂŠry. Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license.
Tumblr media
Fatimid ewer, 10th-11th century. Photo by Marie-Lan Nguyen. Public domain.
MERCURY
It's a liquid on Earth, but freezes into a rhombohedral crystal structure. Mineral enough to be in MinCup? Will its mirror shine capture your vote?
Name: From the planet Mercury, which was associated with the metal in medieval alchemy.
Bling: The shine! The beading! The more-liquid-than-water flow!
Uses: Makes liquid-mirror telescopes, electrodes, and is useful for extracting silver and producing chlorine. It had many more uses in the past - in addition to lighthouses and thermometers (and medicine), it's responsible for the discovery of superconductivity!
Team DO NOT Lick! Though liquid mercury isn't well absorbed, mercury vapor will still poison you.
Tumblr media
Bionerd. Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported license.
Tumblr media
Dnn87. Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported license.
2 notes ¡ View notes
verdemoth ¡ 2 years ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
fickle beast. for weeks i’ve hardly seen him, and then he deigns to enter my room only after 2 am, when i’m trying to get ready for sleep, and he promptly makes himself comfortable .
18 notes ¡ View notes
pentanguine ¡ 7 months ago
Text
I GOT COLDPLAY TICKETS
#which is wild considering that i was driving on the highway at the time#i kept having to pull over on the rumble strip to check my spot in the queue#got kicked out of the waiting room once. app signed me out?? didn't have data for a while in the middle of nowhere.#ended up stabbing randomly at my phone and buying Nice Luxury seats for an absurdly reasonable amount of money#i am VIBRATING#this is also the funniest possible time for me to see coldplay though#i hardly listen to them anymore. i finally retired the tattered viva la vida poster that had been on my wall for a decade#my music taste has moved on to pastures new and considerably more emo#i haven't listened to moon music yet because...uh..tbh i've heard it's not very good and after music of the spheres i didn't expect it to b#BUT this is something i've wanted since i was 15 and in a fit of conscientious pique *didn't even ask my parents*#if i could go see them on the mx tour. didn't even ask!!! as an adult that's wild to me.#they didn't even forbid me!! they almost certainly wouldn't have!! but we had extremely minor plans for that night already and i was like#'i cannot disappoint them'#so instead i sat there and sulked through the minor event!#baffling behavior on my part#but anyway! i have since been thwarted in seeing coldplay for TWELVE YEARS because they just haven't come anywhere near where i'm living#BUT NOW I'M GOING#this is like if most people my age had never gotten to see one direction or something as a teen#that's the level of obsession we're talking about and#also the level of 'mostly this is a gift to a past version of myself but also i will still cry'#personal
1 note ¡ View note
musical-chick-13 ¡ 1 year ago
Text
All the people in the "Controversial Doctor Who Opinions" post saying that they 👉👈 Don't Like River 👉👈, lmao I did not fight for YEARS in the FUCKING TRENCHES for you to say that hating this character is a "controversial opinion."
2 notes ¡ View notes
purple-fangirl ¡ 8 months ago
Text
#although all joking aside I can absolutely see Bruce setting this up for Jason in the backyard after adopting him#partially passive aggressively#partially because he feels like maybe Jason actually does just ??? enjoy tires??? and wants to make him happy#‘of course kids like tires my son tried to steal mine the first time we met’#and of course it’s not like jason would say NO#it’s still sitting out there#Jason likes to read on it sometimes still#jason todd#robin!jason#bby ♥️#robin#batfam#dc#fanart
original post tags
Tumblr media
What Jason Todd REALLY planned on doing with those tires
#what if he made a little drawing of this and tried to hide it because he wasn't SERIOUS#but then Alfred found it by accident and thought it was cute#and it made its way to Bruce#and so Bruce was like oh okay great bonding idea#one day he just tells jason to come to the cave with him with no explaination#and they start taking the batmobile tires off together#and now jason's kind of sweating a bit because he doesn't understand what's going on and is this a test? is this a sign he's getting kicked#out soon?#but then Bruce collects the hubcaps and the rims and directs jason to “roll that one over there chum”#and they start lining them up in a way that looks uncomfortably familiar#and jason's like “no way this happening I'm tripping is he actually making it a swing”#bruce has to ask for clarification on the design#because he only got a brief look at the drawing and well jason's right here lemme just ask him “where do you want to hang it?”#jason folds and just lets it happen and they assemble the tires into a little throne and set it up by dick's gymnastics equipment#jason is so embarrassed and bruce is pleased with himself#“it's okay chum I can always get new tires” (rich)#and jason thinks it's stupid but then whenever he has a case file or report to read the tire swing is the perfect place to curl up and read#bruce doesn't have the heart to take it down much later when tim and steph take a liking to the perch#and certainly not if cass finds it pleasant too#when jason finally comes home again he's too big and they have to add more tires to make it work#Jason likes to read on it sometimes still#jason todd#robin!jason#bby ♥️#robin#batfam#dc#fanart
6K notes ¡ View notes
morganbritton132 ¡ 2 months ago
Text
Eddie has never sold to Steve Harrington.
He has never nor will he ever sell to Steve Harrington. Sure, he sold to Steve friends who probably give him the drugs but that’s rich boy money.
And sure, Steve has never actually tried to buy from him but it’s the principle of the matter. Which is what makes this so interesting because, “Harrington?”
“Hey.”
Steve has been MIA from school for the past week and Billy has been telling everybody that he beat him to death, and well. It certainly looks like he gave it a good effort. So really.
What’s Eddie supposed to do here? Uphold his morals?
“Can I…help you?” Eddie asks, opening the screen door for him.
Steve hobbled insides and immediately asks, “You sell stuff, right? Whatever anybody wants, you got it?”
“That’s what they say. Got something in mind?”
“Sleep.”
“What?”
“I need - I just need sleep,” Steve says, words fast and a little desperate. “I can’t sleep at my house, man. I can’t. It’s - god, it’s been four days and my head is killing me. I - I feel like I’m going to die. I need sleep.”
Eddie just stares at him, blinking slowly because it doesn’t actually sound like Steve is asking for drugs. It sounds like he’s scared to have his guard down at home so, “Yeah, okay. Um, take the couch.”
Steve is asleep almost as soon as he sits down and when he wakes up a couple hours later, he gives Eddie ten bucks and leaves.
Eddie kinda thinks it’s going to be a one-off situation but a couple weeks later, Steve is back. He only ever sleeps for a couple hours, pays Eddie, and goes.
The only changes are that he eventually graduates from sleeping on the couch to in Eddie’s bed (so Eddie doesn’t have to explain Steve to Wayne again) and Eddie shows Steve where the spar key so he can come in when Eddie is at band practice.
Dont get Eddie wrong, this situation is weird but there are worse ways to make money.
It is what it is until it isn’t. Until it’s… “What the fuck is this?”
Eddie knew Steve was here because he religiously leaves his shoes neatly by the front door but - “A girl? He brought a girl.”
Because, yeah. That’s a blonde sailor girl next to Steve in his bed. They’re both open mouth drooling on his pillows, smell like fire, and look like hell. The only reason he doesn’t kick them out because he knows Starcourt caught on fire last night.
He does pull the blanket off them and goes to sleep in the living room.
He wakes an hour later to the feeling of someone watching him and when he opens his eyes, he’s met with - “Robin Buckley, nice to meet you, Eddie Munson.”
This feels like a trap.
“Uh, yeah. Same.”
She gives him a smile like she has secrets and then holds up a stack of Polaroids, “Does Steve know you take pictures of him while he’s sleeping?”
3K notes ¡ View notes
chuluoyi ¡ 5 months ago
Text
✎ a birthday to remember
Tumblr media
- gojo satoru x reader
what is the so-called grand surprise does your husband prepare for your birthday?
genre: 18+ suggestive content—minors do not interact!—massive fluff, comfort, pregnant!reader, (cough) pregnant sex
note: hi peeps it's been ages since i last wrote gojo :') and love entries on that matter *sobs* but here it is... my birthday has passed too but here's to any of you whose birthday is near!
a part of gojo's love entries
general masterlist
Tumblr media
“Sensei— happy birthday!”
This year, your birthday happened to fall on a workday.
If it were up to you, you would have taken the day off. However, Satoru had been assigned to Osaka and wouldn’t be returning until weekend, so taking leave and staying at home would most likely make you feel lonely.
Not only that, with you entering the fifth month of pregnancy, you figured it was better to stay active. And by the end of the day—you didn’t regret coming in at all. The students were all so sweet, they even chimed in to get you a pretty maternity dress to wear. You couldn’t wait to tell Satoru about them tonight.
You skipped happily toward the parking lot, but right when you turned the corner, suddenly—
“Wifeeeey!”
“Oh my god!”
You let out a loud gasp and took a step back, taking in the view. A sea of colorful balloons, with a man in suit standing right in the middle of it—
Your husband. In flesh. You blinked once, twice— thrice.
“Satoru...?”
He poked his head out of the string of balloons, a beaming, million-dollar grin lit up his face at the sight of your shocked expression. “Wifeeey! Happy birthdaaaaay!”
Before you could even process his sudden appearance, he had you in a chokehold, engulfing you in a bear hug and nuzzling his face against yours with childlike enthusiasm, the faint scent of his cologne filling your senses.
“What are you doing here?!” you half-shrieked, the surprise spilling from your voice.
He pulled back, frowning dramatically. “Ehhh? You don’t want me to be back?”
“Yes—”
His eyes widened as if you’d just committed the gravest betrayal. “You big meanie!”
“No,” you quickly retracted, trying to hold back your own smile at how comically dejected he was. “I mean… aren’t you supposed to be back on Sunday?”
“Heh heh, nope! I lied~” Satoru chirped, his grin returning in full force. “It’s my wifey’s birthday—how could I not come back for you?”
In that moment, your heart fluttered. He was probably saying it for no reason, but the fact that he really did fly back from Osaka just to meet you for your birthday meant a lot to you.
His big, warm hand then gently caressed your visible baby bump, his grin widening when he got a kick. “Ah, right… Hello to you too, baby! Did I startle you too? Sorry~”
You rolled your eyes, retorting, “He is terrified.”
Satoru leaned in, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper directed at your belly. “Don’t worry, baby. Papa’s here now, and he’s got balloons. That makes everything better, right?”
“...how long have you been standing here with these balloons?”
“Hmmm, not long. About an hour, maybe?”
“You shithead—why didn’t you just come inside?”
Satoru’s gasp of mock offense made you laugh despite yourself. “And ruin the surprise? My wifey deserves the full dramatic effect!”
Being Gojo Satoru’s wife certainly came with its fair share of patience-testing episodes, and sometimes you wanted to return him to Yaga for additional lessons of discipline.
But it was candid, over-the-top acts like this that reminded you just how lucky you were to have him.
Tumblr media
Satoru brought you to a high-end restaurant for your birthday dinner before the two of you finally returned home.
And the moment you opened the door, you were greeted by countless balloons floating on the ceiling and the ground, the fairy lights illuminating the room in a cozy glow.
You were taken aback, mesmerized by the sight. “When did you even have the time to decorate the house?”
He grinned, looking far too pleased with himself. “I have many little helpers—”
“Don't tell me it's Ichiji and Nanami? Satoru, you—!”
“I promised Nanami I wouldn’t make him blow up balloons! Though I might have heard him grumble something about being above this…”
"You're unbelievable..." You let out a resigned sigh, yet still smiling as you stepped further into the living room, now bathed in the soft, golden glow.
Satoru observed you with a quiet smile. His pretty wife, and the small life within you. He adored you the most out of everyone else in this twisted world.
Click! Click!
"Huh?" You turned to him when you heard the distinct sound of a camera shutter.
Satoru was holding his phone, an amused glint in his eyes. “Just capturing the moment, you know. You, the lights, and baby. It's perfect.”
You giggled. “You really can’t help yourself, can you?”
He shrugged, that signature grin returning. “What can I say? You’re beautiful.”
Later, you'd find out that one of the photos would be his lock screen from now on. It would be the first thing he saw every time he unlocked his phone.
Satoru brought out the box he had prepared, handing it to you with a sly grin. “Look, sweets, before we go to bed, I have one more gift for you—and you have to wear it now.”
You arched an eyebrow, curiosity piqued, as you took the box from his hands. The moment you opened it and pulled out the contents, you froze.
“—?! Satoru!”
A scarlet lingerie set. The bra features intricate lace trim along the edges, and the matching panties are equally bold, with a sheer lace overlay. Your cheeks flushed as you glanced at Satoru, who was watching you with an winning grin, clearly pleased with his choice.
“What?” he challenged. “They'll suit you, c'mon.”
“You're absolutely shameless.”
“But you love me anyway~”
You let out a defeated sigh, glancing up at him, already realizing there was no way out of this now.
“You’re lucky I’ve hit my head somewhere and married you.”
. . .
He was right. It fit you perfectly.
The moment you got out of the bathroom, Satoru could feel himself getting hard already. You looked like a vision, the deep red seemed to highlight your every curve, turning you into an effortless seductress.
And not only that, you were adorable too— fiddling with your fingers and touching your rounded belly, barely hiding how self-conscious you were.
"Don't just stare at me..." you mumbled, glaring at him.
He reached out, gently brushing his fingers against your cheek, his touch tender despite the fire in his eyes. “You’re making it hard to look away, you know.”
His hands then trailed down, skimming the sides of your body, each touch lingering just long enough to make your breath hitch. It was almost as if he was unraveling you, piece by piece, and you weren’t sure whether to pull away or pull him closer.
And wait... was it just you or were the space between your legs indeed getting hotter and wetter?
As if reading your mind, suddenly two of his fingers touched your barely clad pussy, and you gasped. That's right— there is indeed a hole in this freaking lingerie!
"Are... we...?" you swallowed, your gaze meeting his.
"Can I?" he asked back, voice husky. His crystal clear eyes burning with lust as he assessed you— from your eyes, lips, and then the inviting sight of your cleavage.
Did you want this?
Of course you were. Your birthday was still far from over, and you missed him too.
In response, you pushed his already hovering fingers inside you, making you hold your breath. From that point on, Satoru knew what you wanted.
Without another word, he rubbed soft circles around your clit, and you let out an unabashed moan at the contact, clinging to his shoulders for support. "Ahh..."
He teased you for a while, before slowly entering his fingers into your throbbing folds, and you were close to collapsing if it weren't for his secure hold over you.
"You're so, so damn naughty..." he whispered lowly in your ear. It was taking everything he had not to lose it right then and there. He wanted you to be as comfortable as possible, but the sight of your writhing face and that baby bump was damn distracting and ignited the beast inside him.
He made you pregnant already, but there was just this primal desire— wanting to mark you more...
His fingers slowly pumped in and out of you, dragging them deep but just not deep enough—
"Please..." you scratched his back unwittingly, frustrated at his shirt that got in the way. "I-I... want... you..."
How sweet. Satoru relished in your titillating breaths and chuckled, vigorously continuing his dirty ministrations.
"Say it louder," he growled in your ears. "Can't hear you."
The bastard. You yanked his hair and made him catch your teary gaze. "I... want you..."
Sinful desire flared to life at your words. "Your wish is my command, missus."
Satoru suddenly pulled out his fingers—ignoring the whine you accidentally let out for being empty all of a sudden—and admired the sheen, sticky whiteness on them.
"I barely did anything and you're this wet already," he snorted, tasting it. "They're right about the pregnancy hormones."
He placed his hand on your waist, pressing a kiss on the firm skin of your belly, before undoing his belt and trousers and pulling out his hardened member.
The sight made you actually gulp, especially when he pumped it. He pulled you to his lap and guided his pride to your sopping entrance. The moment he inserted himself, he let out a groan of relief, while you arched your back and hissed, "Ngh!"
Satoru captured your lips, his hand pressing against your aching spine. He pulled you closer, urging you to take him completely.
"Ahh— ugh... mrgh!" you sighed against his neck as soon as you did, trying to even your breath. This was something you had done so many times before, but why was this time felt like an awakening of some sorts?
"Most beautiful," he breathed in your ear wickedly. "Don't worry, leave everything to me."
He rocked his hips against yours, one hand on your back and the other gripping your thigh. With each salacious thrust, you mewled and he panted, keeping you steady all the while.
He could feel your baby bump rubbing against as his toned abs, going along with the rhythm. Satoru grinned proudly, noticing how much it had grown over the past few months. The baby must be healthy in there, huh?
The relief somehow spurred him into pick up his pace, thrusting you more deeply than before. You almost squealed.
"You know what?" he grunted, mind hazed. He didn't really realize what he was saying to you, to be honest. "You're the prettiest when you're like this— round and full, with my kid."
You only caught the lewdness in his words, but you weren't able to ponder about it as he suddenly buried his face into your supple breasts.
"Look at them, getting bigger too— these days..." He sucked on the sensitive skin and you gasped in pleasure, crying out afterwards when he fondled them with both hands.
Your senses were overly heightened and you knew you wouldn't last long. Satoru too knew he was nearing his orgasm as he tore your new bra and sucked on the mound, furthering your never-ending moans, causing your eyes to roll back as the blinding pleasure overtook you— pushing you to cum right then and there.
In the next second, he pushed you into him impossibly deeper, and his hot release gushed inside your womb. You writhed at the sudden fullness, before getting limp and collapsed into him, not even realizing that you had squirted all over his lap and dress shirt.
Your husband glanced at you, in disbelief himself at the messy scene, but utterly satisfied as his bright eyes twinkled. "Heh..."
Tumblr media
You were awoken at three in the morning, and the first thing you noticed was that you were in Satoru's warm embrace.
His arms were wrapped around you securely, holding you close as if he were protecting you even in his sleep. You must have passed out afterwards, as all you recalled was the numbing exhaustion.
Yet you knew for certain that Satoru had cleaned you up, dressed you in your pajamas, and even placed a heat pad on your hips to soothe you.
(He remembered the one time you woke up with cramps right after a raunchy night before)
Your husband was a cheeky shit, but for you, he was willing to go extra miles. It was an overlooked fact sometimes due to how unserious he was, but each time he did and you were reminded of it, your heart always soared.
Looking up, you found his peaceful sleeping face, and not for the first time, you couldn’t help but marvel at how truly handsome he was. A soft smile tugged at your lips as you gently caressed his face.
"Hmm...?" he frowned adorably, and you almost giggled. But when he cracked his eyes open, you almost regretted it—oh yes, he is a light sleeper.
"Sweets...? Can't sleep...?" He turned to you, voice thick with sleepiness. "Anything wrong?"
"No, I'm just watching you." You smiled, poking his cheek. "Go back to sleep."
"Really? Nothing's amiss?" His hand gently slid to your belly, giving it a reassuring rub. "You have to tell me if anything’s not right..."
"Hush, I'm fine."
After making sure you were indeed fine, Satoru tightened his arms over you and pressed his eyes shut. You wrapped your arms around his back in response, feeling his steady warmth. Right in this moment, you were overwhelmed with this gentle, soft feeling— love, the kind he gave you so freely and candidly.
Your birthday had passed, but if there was one wish only he could fulfill, surely you could still ask him, right?
"Satoru..." you muttered, feeling the cool breeze of the air conditioner lulling you back to sleep. "Will you stay with me... forever?"
A smile curled on his lips at your question, his eyes still closed. "Silly girl, it's your bedtime, so why ask that?"
You thought he wouldn't answer it as he didn't say anything more. But right before you drift into deep sleep, he pressed a sweet kiss to the crown of your head, giving you his promise— one that felt truer than anything else he had said to you before.
"I will... so you must stay with me too, got it?"
3K notes ¡ View notes
kurooh ¡ 6 months ago
Text
I’MA MAKE U SCREAM ★ S. GOJO & S. GETO
Tumblr media
⊹₊˚. a series of unrelenting, mysterious phone calls late at night leads to you being sandwiched between two hot ghostface slashers who’ve got you fucking for your life.
warnings. 18+ content — mdni, fem! reader, ghostface! gojo & geto, threesome, knife play, landline phones, mentions of death, oral (f receiving), double penetration, anal/fingering, tongue piercings, pussy slapping, biting. 5.2K words whew (pls read anyway 🧎‍♀️)
xoxo, juno. happy halloween!! thank you to my dearest wolfy anon for beta reading <33 comment & rb if you enjoyed!!! 🎃
Tumblr media
“hello?”
“why don’t you wanna talk with me?”
“who is this?” you roll your eyes, unimpressed by the cheery voice coming through the phone. “it’s like eleven at night, what do you want?”
“ya tell me your name, and i’ll tell ya mine,” that voice lilts into a teasing tone, words dripping with persuasive sweetness.
“nah, i’m heading to bed. nice talk.”
“aw, bedtime already? you’re not even gonna watch a movie before you sleep?” the question has your brows furrowing in aggravation, but you sigh, choosing to answer anyway.
“i didn’t have anything in mind,” the caller lets out a laugh, straight into your ear. “what, you’ve got a suggestion?”
“do you like scary movies?” and you can hear the smile in the caller’s voice; he’s amused, probably laughing with his friends over the prank call in the moments of muffled silence.
“i suppose so.”
“don’t you have a favorite? why not watch it?”
“well, i won’t be able to sleep,” you reply simply, twirling the phone cord between your fingers. “but the longer we talk, the more sleep i lose out on. so, have a good night!”
“wait!” the caller snaps, demanding as ever. the sudden outburst sends chills straight down your spine. “don’t hang up on me.”
“and why shouldn’t i?” the blatant defiance has the caller letting out a laugh that sounds rather menacing . . he clears his throat, seemingly returning to his more even tempered tone.
“we’re not done talking,” he says simply, sounding a little crackly through the phone. “so don’t hang up, you’ll—”
a rational person with an interest in talking would certainly call during the day, and only once or twice before quitting altogether to wait for a call back. an irrational person would have your house phones ringing off the hooks while you were in the shower, calling nonstop and then getting far too arrogant once you finally picked up. just as you slam the phone back down, it starts to ring again.
you decide to leave the room, figuring that the caller will tire himself out quickly, but he doesn’t. in the time that you left the phone to go to another room, there wasn’t a single beat of silence. furious, you race toward the phone, fingers sliding on the kitchen counter as you snatch it up.
“fuck you! listen to me, you’d better stop—”
“no, you listen to me,” the caller snarls, and the harshness of his voice has your heart kicking hard against your rib cage. something in your gut tells you that this isn’t just a talkative caller. “don’t fucking hang up on me again, got that?”
you recover some of your composure, goosebumps rising on your skin. the cool breeze blowing through a nearby window adds to the chilling feeling that’s washed over you in only a matter of seconds. “w-well, what do you want, then?”
“i wanna see your insides, dummy,” is the crazed response, and you can’t stop the way your face immediately twists in horror. a clicking sound is heard as the second phone in your house—the one upstairs—is picked up, and another person hops onto the call.
“now, now,” this new voice is smooth, immediately drawing your attention as you listen attentively through the phone. “that’s no way to talk, you’ll scare her silly.”
“what the fuck?” you ask aloud, although you hadn’t meant to. all you can think about is the fact that two weirdos have you almost . . cornered on the phone.
the crazy voice scoffs, ignoring your mumbling. “well, you heard her! trying to hang up and shit,” he clicks his tongue in disapproval before sighing. “anyway, where were we?”
you don’t even say anything, and the other voice exhales into the phone. “see, look at what you’ve gone and done now. our girl’s too scared to talk to us, isn’t she?”
“look, i-i’m just gonna go to bed. goodnight.”
“you’re not going anywhere, honey,” the calmer one of the two says, but this time his voice is much clearer, almost as if he’s standing beside you. you take a step backward, trying to shake off the weird feelings and relentless goosebumps spreading across your skin.
you might as well be wearing nothing.
the satin slip dress you were planning to sleep in is as thin as plastic wrap; you’ve backed up into someone’s strong chest and thanks to the thinness of your pajamas, you can feel each sharp ridge of muscle. the pecs are strong, firm to the touch, and the abs are hard enough to cut diamonds. fear races through your body, so overwhelming that your lips part to let out a scream—but the noise is muffled by a large palm that pulls you back, flush against the muscles. separated only by a few layers of clothing, you can feel the warmth of their body and the casual rise of their chest as they breathe. if you weren’t being silenced, this would be comforting, in a way.
“promise you won’t scream, baby?” that calm voice has a dangerous edge; you nod immediately, frantically, desperately — as you feel a few tears gather in your eyes. this . . does not look, feel, or sound good in any way imaginable. who even are these people? and why you? a seemingly normal thursday evening had gone entirely downhill, and you didn’t even know why.
“good girl,” the person hums, dropping their hand from the lower half of your face and instead replacing it with the sharp edge of a knife. “let’s head upstairs, shall we?” as you ascend the steps, the blade drops lower, until it hovers over the tender skin of your throat. you can’t even turn around and see who the person is, for fear of getting cut over the simple action.
“could i at least turn around?”
“what for?” he asks, nudging the bedroom door open. you’re met with the frightening sight of a person in robes lounging on your bed, against your pillows. they have a spooky, ghostly mask, but you know who it is the second their mouth opens.
“you took the knives out that quickly?” the figure clicks his tongue, raising a hand to his face to pull off the ghostface mask. so this is what this is—some kind of ridiculous scream roleplay . . but the feel of the knife and the way it gleams is too real. “what happened to playing around, suguru?”
“it’s—it’s you! from the phone.” you say, straining against the man behind you, who pulls the knife a few inches away from your throat.
“careful now, doll. you’ll hurt yourself.”
“if you let me go, maybe i’d—” the man on the bed sits up then, pulling off his mask. you can’t see who he is just yet, the shadow from his hood obscuring his face. in a moment, he grabs hold of your face with a gloved hand, fingers squeezing cruelly at your cheeks.
it’s utterly nasty, the way feelings of attraction twist in your stomach. heat rises to your cheeks and you swallow, looking into diamond blue eyes that have your heart fluttering despicably. how is it possible to even be focused on your grim reaper’s looks, almost entirely forgetting their intentions as you lose yourself in those eyes?
“cat got your tongue? i said i wanna see your insides and you didn’t even look fazed.”
beneath the robe, you can see the tips of snowy hair, along with a face that’s far too handsome to belong to some kind of murderer. you shake your head in disbelief, sucking in a breath. “uh . . huh? sorry, i didn’t hear you.”
he drops your face with an annoyed scoff, stepping back to plop down on your bed before fully pulling off his hood. “y’know what—suguru, you deal with her.”
the man behind you pushes you forward, and you awkwardly take a seat beside the sighing killer. suguru tugs off his mask and inspects the knife closely, running a gloved finger over the edge before nodding. “might as well use the knives on you. maybe you’ll hear us then?”
“what’re you—why’re you doing all this?” you ask, the words sputtering out of your mouth nervously. “is there any way i can convince you not to cut me open?”
suguru looks at his literal partner in crime, pushing his black bangs away from his eyes as he speaks. “oh? trying to cheat death, sweet thing?”
you shrug, casually flopping onto your back. the satiny fabric of your dress flips up, and you unintentionally give both of them a great view of your panties. now that they’re deliberating how to move forward with you, the fear of the situation has dissipated greatly. “i just wanna go to bed and live to see another day tomorrow. name the price for my life and i’ll pay it.”
“those are fighting words,” suguru remarks, “don’t you agree, satoru?”
satoru nods, eyes glued to the thin fabric covering what’s between your legs. his mind runs wild as he imagines what he and suguru could impose on you. they’re practically in sync—suguru looks over just as satoru looks up, the two of them sharing a knowing look.
“hmph. sit up and listen.” satoru nudges your thigh, and you do as he says, looking bored. the whole night has done one too many 180s, giving you the most severe case of whiplash in your life. you’d initially been annoyed, terrified, then mildly attracted, and now . . almost indifferent.
“you’ve got my full attention.”
“we’ll let you live, on one condition,” satoru raises a finger before you can object, while suguru’s eyes covertly sweep over your body. “think you could handle us at the same time?”
a proposition for a threesome is something you certainly did not see coming! you bite the inside of your cheek, willing yourself to maintain composure. suguru spices it up with a smirk, dragging that sharp knife of his along the edge of your jaw.
“you’ll have to fuck like your life depends on it.”
it does. tension weighs the air down, filling the room with a thickness even suguru’s knife couldn’t cut through. sweat beads along the skin of your spine and you exhale in defeat. being between these two would be hard—in all ways possible; but one mistake and they’d probably end up slitting your throat.
truthfully, you’re willing to risk it. most girls don’t usually cross paths with two men that are each extremely attractive and willing to share you between one another. you squeeze your thighs together, an action that doesn’t go unnoticed by either of them.
“y-yeah, okay. i’ll do it.”
“atta girl,” satoru praises, the corners of his eyes crinkling. a wicked smile finds its way onto his rosy lips, but you don’t back down, instead spreading your legs. you look between them, a silent invitation extended in one glance.
“lie back for us.”
“you were the one who told me to sit up—” perhaps the unnecessary snark isn’t a good idea, not with the way suguru eyes you warily.
satoru leans in hastily, connecting his lips with yours to effectively shut you up. his body barrels into yours, pushing you into suguru, who catches you and cages you against his strong chest. the knife is abandoned as he strokes his fingertips along the tender skin of your neck, sighing into your ear while satoru occupies your lips.
“so pretty. heh, you’re pretty every night.”
suguru’s touch has you letting out a moan that satoru eagerly swallows, his gloved hands roaming your body. however, he seems to remember he’s got gloves on; without pulling away, he snatches them off.
“her tits, suguru—play with her tits.”
the mumbled words are audible only to suguru, who complies with a chuckle. unlike satoru, he makes no move to do away with his gloves. you moan, his hands squeezing at your tits while his fingertips stroke over your nipples until they grow hard.
“s-suguru,” you mewl, pulling away for a moment to suck a breath into your deprived lungs, “keep touching me there—just like that.”
satoru’s palm comes down hard against the side of your thigh, and he grips your face, forcing you to look at him. “focus on me, got that? wouldn’t want him to stop, would you?”
you shake your head, and in a split second, satoru’s got your upper lip between his teeth. he bites down playfully; the impact makes you gasp, and he seizes the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth. arousal pools in your panties, and you fidget in your spot between them, hoping that you’ll finally get the attention you’ve been craving sooner rather than later. suguru’s tongue drags against your neck while he takes in the scent of your body wash from earlier’s shower. there’s a cool sensation coming from the center of his tongue—you can feel a firm ball of some kind.
it’s a little shameful, getting this hot and heavy from a simple kiss. only, his tongue rolls against yours, and any semblance of embarrassment melts away. suguru’s fingers pinch both of your nipples at the same time, sending shockwaves right to your pussy.
“fuck,” you sob into satoru’s mouth, practically lightheaded from how overwhelming it already is, as well as the lack of air. “i-i need more.”
suguru hums, continuing to toy with your hardened nipples. “already slutting yourself out for us, sweetheart? that was fast, wasn’t it?”
satoru finally draws back, a glossy string of spit connecting your lips to his. he doesn’t move just yet, savoring the moment like a piece of special candy—you’ve practically got hearts in your eyes, all hot and bothered because of him. well, suguru is a factor, but he didn’t put in nearly as much work as satoru.
“lie back for us, babe.” this time you don’t fight them on it, scooting off suguru so you can comfortably prop yourself up on the mountain of pillows.
“tsk. this dress ought to go.” suguru brandishes his knife, and cuts through the satin material of the slip as easily as a stick of butter.
“hey!” you snap, the remains of your dress sliding off to the sides of the bed like rags. “what about you two!? you can’t just cut up my clothes like that when neither of you are naked!”
satoru rolls his eyes, tossing your legs apart. meanwhile, suguru clearly isn’t done with that knife; he trails it along the slopes of your naked body, the edge of the blade sharpened in a way that has you gasping. he applies a little bit of pressure, and your skin splits like it would after a paper cut.
“a-are you cutting my skin open?” you ask incredulously. you know the answer, but for whatever reason, you don’t pull away from him.
“maybe,” he replies breezily. “‘s nothing deep. you can handle it, can’t you, honey?”
“would you look at that?” satoru wolf whistles, and heat rises to your cheeks as he gathers your legs together, tugging them up. the knife pauses at your collarbone as suguru leans backwards to take a look, and his eyebrows raise immediately.
“she’s fucking soaked.”
“put the knife down ‘n come give it a taste.”
satoru’s request is breathless, but effective. the knife falls onto the blankets, and for a moment you use your head to consider what might happen in the future—someone could sit on that thing, lie down on it. satoru’s tongue rips the thought out of your head and replaces the words that were on the tip of your tongue with a sweet moan of bliss. your clit throbs at the prospect of more, and their balmy puffs of breath fanning over you only arouse you further.
their faces press together, side by side as they start to eat your pussy in a way that immediately has your back arching and hips bucking. satoru focuses all his attention on your clit, flicking the tip of his tongue over it while suguru slurps up all of your slick. there it is again, that cool sensation—he’s got a tongue piercing. the moonlight shines through the flowy curtains, illuminating the killers in an almost angelic glow . . maybe they’re actually pussy killers.
“‘s like fucking candy,” satoru moans, tongue dipping down to gather up your slick. it bumps into suguru’s, and he only lets out a laugh that sends vibrations through your entire core. “sweetest pussy i’ve ever tasted, shit.”
the room fills with the lewd, nasty sounds of their slurping and licking as they devour your pussy together. you slip a finger between your teeth and bite down once one too many noises threaten to escape you, and suguru pulls back to land a smarting slap on your pussy.
“ah ah. do not try to go quiet on us.”
“sorry, ‘m sorry,” you stutter dumbly, mind and body reeling from the delicious sting of the slap.
“we want you screaming,” he emphasizes, spitting onto your cunt and watching as it flutters, the glob slipping down more rapidly due to the movement. “and you will be, by the end of all this. understand, doll?”
you nod hastily, and his eyes flick upwards to your face, the hardness in them a simple warning. “yeah, i understand.”
satoru’s drawing hearts and letters on your clit, each one making you shudder more than the last. each drag of his tongue makes him moan as he takes in more of your taste. beside him, suguru’s dips his tongue between your folds, the sensation nothing more than a tease. they plan to split you open on their cocks, and getting you desperate for it is only the first step of their plan.
“ngh, t-that’s so fucking good,” you cry, thighs quaking on either side of their heads. “please, i’m gonna cum.”
“give it to us,” satoru is the first to speak, his voice clear as it cuts through the lewd sounds in the air. he’s got one hand on the side of your thigh, holding you open just for them. “on our tongues, like a good girl.”
satoru’s ministrations on your clit grow more insistent; he’s working to pull your orgasm from you, while suguru continues to slurp at your messy pussy, his eyes falling shut. a familiar and overwhelming sensation coils in your tummy; it’s one that has your hands flying to both suguru and satoru’s heads, fingers finding purchase in their hair.
“i—i think ‘m gonna cum,” you cry, back arching off the bed while your hips jolt forward into their faces. after hearing the first word of your delirious warning, satoru replaced his tongue with his finger and moved beside suguru, the two of them slurping all your cunt has to offer. to them, it’s like drinking ambrosia.
you’re pulling hard at their hair, only encouraging them to groan against you. suguru speaks, eyes rolling back from just a little hair pulling. but it makes sense, with hair like that. of course his scalp is very sensitive.
“cover us in your cum, baby.”
obedient and right on time, your pussy gushes, hole fluttering around nothing while your clit throbs beneath satoru’s finger. the intense orgasm has left you twitching from the aftershocks, gasping for breath, and overly sensitive. of course, satoru and suguru take advantage of the aforementioned sensitivity with smirks on their faces.
“no, wait, i-i just came,” is all you can sob, your hands smacked away once you try to tug them off your aching cunt. “satoruuu, suguruuu.”
suguru only laughs, mimicking your tone with a roll of his eyes. “aw, babyyy. that’s too bad, isn’t it?”
with how sensitive you are, it’s not hard for them to drag a second orgasm out of you. this time, a few tears cascade down your cheeks as you fall over the edge with a pitched cry. satoru spanks your still twitching cunt and laughs at the way you gasp and recoil, legs still trembling.
“suguru, whatcha think? you wanna take her mouth ‘n i’ll fuck her pussy?”
“that’s far too considerate, satoru.” he shakes his head, talking about you as if you’re not in front of them. “c’mon,” suguru purrs, gesturing for you to get up as he slips off his robe and boxers. “lie on top of me.”
you can’t help but ogle, a little starstruck by his body and the thrill of everything. he sticks out his tongue playfully when he notices you staring, the metal ball in his tongue gleaming. his abs flex and his cock bobs as he lays down on your bed, beckoning you over with a gloved finger. satoru gulps, panting softly at the sight. following his best friend’s lead, he slips off his matching clothing and mounts the bed, which sinks under his weight with a creak. part of you wonders if the bed frame will give out by the end of this.
“hand me the lube,” suguru grunts, catching the small bottle in his larger hand. the liquid is cool, even through the leather of his gloves. he rubs his fingers together to warm it up a little for you. his fingertips prod at the tight ring of your asshole, and you let out a squeak of surprise.
“c’mon. relax for me, doll.”
you take a breath, body sweltering with arousal. this is certainly new for you, but you don’t complain—and anyway, the slight coolness of the lube feels good against your hot skin. satoru bites down on his lower lip as he watches his best friend prep you to take both of their cocks at the same time. something wicked has the corners of his lips curling up into a smile as he pictures you screaming for them.
likely picturing the same thing, suguru tongues at your jaw, kissing the tender skin wetly before nipping hard. you can only cry out, his lips serving as a simple distraction while his fingers push inside and stretch you out.
you gasp, and he feels you squeeze down hard on his fingers, hips jerking away. “come now, don’t run from it,” suguru coos, twisting his body beneath you to angle you the right way again. he ignores your whining, and satoru silently strokes his cock to the sight. “i know, i know. just breathe for me, ‘kay?”
slowly, your body accommodates the new stretch without any more sting or discomfort. in fact, your hips begin to rock into his fingers, chasing them when he starts to pull out.
“i-i think she’s ready, suguru,” satoru finally speaks up, clearing his throat. his voice is a little choked, and you can clearly see the flush on his cheeks even in the dark. “for both of us.”
“you hear that, honey?” his warm breath fans over the shell of your ear, making you shudder against him. “let’s see who can make you scream the loudest—me or satoru.”
“as if,” the man in question huffs, pushing your thigh to the side and looking over your dripping pussy with an obvious hunger. “fuck, baby. i’m gonna ruin you.”
with that, satoru grasps his cock and guides it inside your needy cunt. suguru does the same, pushing his length into your ass. the three of you moan collectively, a harmony if ever there was one. you sob, tears burning at the corners of your eyes from the intensity of the stretch.
satoru grits his teeth and grips your hips for support, then pushes all the way inside you. he bottoms out easily, his cock sliding against suguru’s, separated only by a thin layer of tissue. so thin that they can feel the shape of one another’s cocks through you.
“fuckin’—shittt, oh my god,” satoru’s easily overwhelmed, heart pounding in his ears while sweat covers his entire body in a sticky sheen.
suguru bites your neck hard, but the pain registers as pleasure despite the fact that he tastes a few irony drops of blood on his tongue.
“do either of you plan to move?” you complain, lips parting in an ‘o’ shape around a whiny moan. “or are we just gonna sit here—”
“shut the fuck up,” suguru groans, clapping a dry and gloved hand over your tits before squeezing them. “we’ll move when we fucking feel like it.”
waves of almost euphoria wash over your entire body, leaving you breathless and panting. when you’d first met these two, you’d been sharp and aware of your surroundings, but now everything is hazy and your body burns as though you have a fever.
the bed creaks dangerously as satoru jumps into action, slowly rocking his hips into yours with a few choked, wanton moans. before long, he’s more confident, fucking into you with a tight grip on your skin and at an invigorated pace. you’re so hot and oh so tight—satoru fucking loves it—you feel perfect. he loves the way you squirm on top of his best friend, hips canting forward eagerly to meet his. the evidence of how good he’s making you feel is painted all over your face, apparent in the wobble of your lower lip and the tears in your eyes.
you hear a sigh from behind you. “can’t lose the bet,” suguru’s voice is laced with faux sympathy. it takes him a few seconds, but he finally starts moving, groaning in approval at the shake of your body and gasping, ragged breaths.
above you, sweat rolls down satoru’s face, the snowy tips of his hair sticking to his forehead while others fall in front of his eyes. “y-you like it like this, baby?” the question is rhetorical, but your whimpering tells him everything he needs to know. the corners of his lips curl into a smile that’s soon wiped away by overwhelming pleasure. “you’re taking us so fuckin’ well, sweetheart . . driving me insane, goddamn.”
“i second that,” the metal ball of suguru’s piercing clicks as he sweeps his tongue over his teeth, panting hard into your ear. “really, baby . . feel like the luckiest fuckin’ guy in the world right now, heh.”
as if you’re not the luckiest girl—being sandwiched between these two is a dream you didn’t even know you had. inside you, their cocks throb against one another, dragging in and out of your holes ruthlessly. the tempo only speeds up, becoming too much too quickly.
you nudge a weak, clammy hand against satoru’s waist, arching your back on top of suguru and nearly nailing him in the face with a reverse headbutt. before the latter can say anything, satoru snatches your hand and intertwines your fingers with his, then pins it down to the bed. he advances forward, his chest now against yours to keep you still.
“ah ah,” he tuts, his nipples hard as they press against yours, “move your damn hand, baby. this is what you wanted, remember?”
“i certainly do,” suguru titters, nipping at your earlobe. “don’t be like that. you can take it, can’t you?”
his words are convincing; he’s got you nodding in acceptance. he’s right, of course. this is what you wanted earlier—you’ve been taking both of their cocks so fucking well. just as you tell yourself you’ll make it through this, satoru’s fingers ghost along the soft skin of your stomach. despite the exhaustion that’s setting into his body, his hips don’t even stutter as he focuses on your swollen clit.
“oh . . oh my god,” the words are torn from your throat, which only grows more sore with all the noise you can’t seem to stop making. a familiar shakiness settles in your voice, and you’re fighting to keep the breath in your lungs, but it escapes you far too easily. “i’m-‘m gonna cum for you, ‘m—”
as you hurtle closer to all encompassing euphoria, the sounds of skin slapping against skin fade out and grow foggy. yet, you manage to hear their voices eagerly spurring you on, the two of them in the same boat as you.
“yeah, ‘s right. fuckin’ cum for us, baby.” satoru’s own orgasm creeps up on him, his head tipping back as your pussy starts to flutter around his cock. of course, suguru can feel the throbbing of his best friend’s cock and the quavering of your needy pussy. he releases your tits, seeing the bruising he’s left before squeezing his eyes shut in concentration.
“ya heard him, honey,” he utters after a long groan, his voice low and husky. “take all of our fucking cum.” you gasp out, nodding your head frantically as you teeter over the edge.
everything happens fast, and all at the same time. satoru cums inside you, his broad shoulders shaking as he rides it out while your pussy practically milks him for more. your cunt spasms, hips jerking upwards from the intensity of it. the movement pushes out suguru, his cum leaking out of your bruised ass and spilling in white puddles on his pelvis.
satoru looks down, biting down on his lower lip as he pulls his cock from you. this is quite the reward, seeing cum pour from both of your spent and twitching holes. your shuddering, sweltering body finally begins to cool after what feels like hours. suguru’s exhausted, but he kindly lifts you and lays you down on the bed beside him. satoru flops down beside you with a heaving sigh, only to lay on the knife from earlier.
“ow, fuck!” he jolts, sitting up and tugging the sharp blade from where it’s tangled in the sheets. he unceremoniously hurls it to the floor, laying back down with a vengeful huff.
you’re too tired to laugh, but a small smile plays on your lips. “do you still wanna kill me?”
“not right now,” suguru throws an arm over his face, gesturing in the direction of the floor. “the knife’s down there, anyway.”
you sit up, craning your neck to take a look. from what you can see, the floor is littered with their dark costumes and two masks, the knife completely out of sight. “i don’t see it.”
“hm, remember we talked about making you scream for us?” satoru speaks up, and in your dizzy haze, you don’t notice that glint in his eyes.
“uh, yeah, i think so? i thought you already did.”
“don’t you watch scary movies?” suguru scoffs, looking at you from beneath his forearm. “you should know what happens next.”
you laugh, rolling your eyes. “yeah, whatever. what happens next, you kill me? very funny. let me convince you again,” and you clear your throat. “no, please don’t kill me, mr. ghostface! i wanna be in the sequel!”
satoru simply shakes his head, and the knife plunges into your back. with a gasp, you sputter out a few garbled words, blood pouring down your bare back as you fall backwards onto the bed. you writhe on the mussed sheets, blood spilling from your lips and trickling down your chin in vermillion rivulets. beside you, the blood covered suguru and satoru let you struggle aimlessly until your body stills; then they slip their masks on again . .
“andddd cut!” the director jumps from his seat with proud claps, and the production assistants rush in from every direction to help clean up the mess.
“satoru, fuck! that knife was so sharp,” you sit up, sending a glare his way as you wipe the fake blood off your skin. despite being a fake knife, the shiny plastic point was rather jagged.
“excellent performances, the three of you! our halloween special is sure to be a hit!” the director is gushing as he praises the three of you.
“yeah, yeah,” suguru says, his cheeks flushed a rosy pink. “i’ve gotta take a shower. seriously, the corn syrup is so fucking sticky.”
4K notes ¡ View notes
gilverrwrites ¡ 9 months ago
Note
I love imaging Dick, Tim, and Damian sneaking around trying to meet Jasons new gf because they just wanna be involved in his life and they know if they they leave it to Jay they wont meet her u til they're married with kids 😭
AND ‘omg us meeting Jason’s siblings when’
AN: Ngl I love this idea too, its so shitty of them but they have the best of intentions.
Damian
A boy no older than 14 with eyes that pierce the soul was not what you'd expected to find on Jason's couch the very first time he'd left you alone there. Jason had to dip out unexpectedly early, and had promised you run of the place until he got back so you'd slept in as long as you could and were on your way to make breakfast when you're greeted by the hell-child.
Once your initial fright wears off you realise you recognize him from a photo Jay had showed you which makes you feel slightly more at ease.
“Good morning? Damian right?” You offer as you pass him, be-lining for the coffee machine, you're gonna need caffeine if you're meeting any member of Jay's family for the first time. “Can I get you anything?”
“Alfred says it's unbecoming to sleep past 9.” Besides the initial glare he'd graced you with as you emerged from the bedroom, he doesn't even look up at you, his eyes glued to the pages of a book. Like brother like brother, you guess.
“Oh, well. Good thing Alfreds not here then.” You add a small laugh, trying to inject some humour to the situation. Damian does not respond in kind. “Is that a no? I think there's some chocolate cereal around here somewhere.”
“What do you do for work that allows you to be in my brother's home in the middle of the day?”
Jeez this kid is no-nonsense. “Or I could make pancakes, I make really good pancakes.”
“And tell me what exactly are your intentions with my baby brother?” Baby?
“I think there's some chocolate chips around here somewhere. Jason says you like chocolate. Chocolate pancakes?”
“Do you always avoid questions?”
“Are you always so intense?”
He slams the book closed and you nearly jump on the spot. He finally looks at you, really looks at you and as you stare back his features begin to soften slightly.
“I’ll have a coffee.”
You're certain from the sly look on his face that he's probably not allowed coffee. He certainly doesn't need any. But screw it, he's not your kid and if it gets him to like a little, you'll take the risk.
So you pour two coffees and join him on the couch. His questions do not cease until Jason returns about an hour later. He couldn't care less about the coffee, but he does care about Damian breaking in to interrogate his partner and immediately kicks Damian out.
Dick
Dick finds out about your existence from one of Damian’s letters, and he's subtle but pushy about meeting you. Not that you're aware. He keeps ‘dropping by’ Jason's apartment ‘just to see his lil brother’, no other reason but is told to get lost or downright ignored anytime you're there, until he decides to cut out the middle man and turn up at your home instead.
“Let me tell you, you are a hard person to get a hold of.” He informs as he invites himself through your front door.
“Um, hello Dick?” As you stare at his lush hair and sculpted abs you wonder what Alfred feeds these boys.
“Yep! I can't stay so I’ve gotta make this quick.” he gestures for you to come closer, speaking in a playful, conspiratorial whisper. “Jay doesn't know I'm here.”
That would be why he can't stay, Jason is due at your door any minute now.
“But you two seem to be getting pretty serious and I think it's important that we all get to know each other. You following?”
You nod, and he gives you the perkiest, most genuine smile. That or he has that exact look practised to a T. From what Jay tells you, either is possible.
“So, Barbara and I, that's my wife” You nod once more, you're aware of Barbara also. “have booked a table at Casa Gotica for Thursday night. We need you to get Jason there without letting on that it's a double date.”
“I don’t know.” you finally give your nodding head a break. “Jay and I don’t lie to each other.”
“Right. I can't begrudge that. Very glad to hear he's picked an honest one.” He takes a moment to straighten his thoughts, but his moment is cut short but the echo of Jason’s combat boots approaching your door. Dick’s eyes rapidly scan the room for a secondary exit before he settles on an open window. “Don't think of it as lying, think of it as omitting the truth. Whatever you have to do just be there for 6.30. Oh, and it's great to meet you!”
“You too.”
“Thursday, 6.30!”
Before you can agree he’s gone, presumably scaling the side of your building as Jay steps inside.
Tim
Tim was actually the first to be aware of you and your relationship with his brother, however, the very real possibility of being gutted by Jason for snooping in his personal life was too high for him to make a move.
But you seeking him out is a different story; or rather, you being the first to say hi when you bump into each other in line at the grocery store is different. It would be rude not to respond to your attempts at initiating a conversation.
“Hello, hi, are you Tim? You don't know me but I’m Jasons partner. Its so great to meet you.”
“I know who you are.” He states rather ominously, eyes darting around behind you. “Is he here?”
“No, but he's picking me up after.” His shoulders visibly ease.
“Cool cool cool.” He’s suddenly much more personable. “So, I hear you're into…”
That chatting doesn't dry or lul at all as the queue dwindles and both buy your groceries. He waits with you until you get confirmation from Jay that he's on his way. He's easily the chillest sibling you've met thus far.
When Jason arrives he gets out of the car to open the boot and passenger door for you as always, but not before he thrusts his phone in your face. “Where is he?”
Displayed on the screen is a selfie of Tim with you in the background, you absolutely do not remember it being taken.
4K notes ¡ View notes
cultkinkcoven ¡ 4 months ago
Text
Super easy and cheap devotional acts for beginners.
A nice cup and some clean, fresh, water on the altar can often be all you need for daily offerings
Grow a plant on your altar, use your weekly watering as a devotional act. Hermes is currently helping my peace lily grow :)
Draw their sigil on your nails and then paint over them with nail polish that matches their color correspondences.
If you can’t acquire alcohol for your deities (wine, vodka etc) because you’re too young, white vinegar also works. The quality we’re looking for is the purification aspect. White vinegar is natural, antibacterial and never goes bad. You can leave it on your altar until it evaporates if you want.
If you work with a deity involved with self love like Aphrodite, investing a little more time into your skin care and scent can be very rewarding. Nothing super boujie, it can be as simple as getting some nice smelling lotion at the dollar store.
Food and water offerings don’t have to be external, especially if you’re in the broom closet and don’t have an altar. Reserve the first bite of your meal for your deity. Savour its taste while you think about them. Pour yourself a crisp glass of cold water and guzzle it as a devotional act.
Use a washable or dry erase marker to draw sigils on your shower wall for bath rituals. It’ll come right off when you’re done.
Tea bags are just bags of dried herbs. You can use these as offerings or draw sigils on them and burn them for witchcraft. No one is ever suspicious about a little tea. Adding a tea bag to your water offerings also gives them an extra kick.
A couple dollars at the thrift store will take you a long way. I love thrifting items because they’re usually well loved. I especially like thrifting spirituality books that past practitioners have written in. Sometimes my deities communicate with me through the books that are available on any given day. If I was just talking to Leviathan about the power of water and I see a book about Hydromancy, I know that he’s sending me a sign. Like, 90% of the books Lucifer has sent me popped up at the thrift store. Most expensive one was $7.99. (and I tag swapped it for 2.99 😊 thanks, Hermes-
and on this note, literally steal. Not from small local thrift stores, but I mean this with my whole chest, steal from Value Village. If you can sneakily swap a tag and get something for cheaper literally do it. Value Village gets all their inventory for free I literally do not care. Corporate thrift stores don’t deserve rights. I steal from Value Village as a devotional act to Hermes 😊 lmao )
If you don’t have money to spend on really nice paintings and posters of your deities for your altar, start buying books about them. It’s a double win. A book about Greek religion will certainly have multiple beautiful sculptures and paintings of Aphrodite that I can cut out and put on my wall. A book about angels might have a cool painting of Lucifer. Books about Goddesses, ancient religions, anthropology, astrology etc. You get the opportunity to learn, and if it’s a book you don’t particularly care too much for, you can take it apart for imagery. People ask me all the time where I got all of my paintings and pictures from. BOOKS.
Does your deity have a kind of complicated sigil that you love but you also kinda hate redrawing every other day? Sorry Cerberus (Naberius) I love you but that sigil is so complicated babe.
Learn how to block print! It’s very simple. You get a block of linoleum (usually pretty cheap, I think mine were like $5) , some ink (~$10), and a carving tool (varies depending), and make a sigil stamp! All you gotta do is draw your sigil and carve it out nicely one time. You can still bless it and imbue it with your energy, and you can easily put it on prayers, talismans etc.
Chalk is your best friend. Use it to draw sigils on the floor or wall that can easily be wiped away. You can imbue special chalk and use it for casting circles if you don’t like the mess of salt.
2K notes ¡ View notes
cheriecoke ¡ 1 year ago
Text
.𖥔 ݁ ˖ HOME COOKED MEAL — nanami kento
Tumblr media
you bring itadori home for dinner & he gets to see a different side to kento
contents. aka you dig up some teenage photos of nanami, fem!reader, husband nanami, fluff, yuuji being your adopted son, i haven't watched the new ep (& i won't) but there is enough nanami angst so i am here to fix that — 1.7k
Tumblr media
when you got ready to leave the school, your jacket on and bag tugged over your shoulder, you passed yuuji itadori in the halls, his expression suspiciously similar to a kicked puppy. 
yuuji perked up a bit as you walked by, offering you a small smile and a wave. and though you considered heading on home for the night, eager to see your husband, you slowed, hesitant to leave the poor kid all alone. 
“everything okay, yuuji?” you asked, frowning as he rested his elbows on his knees, studying a stain on the floor of the school. 
“hm?” the teenager glanced up, eyes bright and wide. his sweet smile was back on his face, so innocent and kind. for someone who had been through so much already, he was more caring than many people that you’d met in your life. “oh, everything’s fine. everyone’s just out on missions, so i feel a little…” he pulled up one shoulder in a shrug. “useless.” 
you knew it must have been hard for him, being a student that wasn’t quite like the others, having to train a little differently, adapt differently. but yuuji took it in stride, and he handled it better than any normal person would. 
with a nod, you secured your bag around your other shoulder, shifting your feet. “it’s just going to be you here tonight, then?” 
he hummed, sticking his hands in his pockets as he leaned back against the wall. “i think so. some of the others might be around, but they’re resting up.” 
“oh.” though you were certain yuuji had no qualms about spending an evening on his own, the thought of it made you feel like you were leaving a kitten out in the rain. almost pitiful. 
yuuji waved before you could say another word, smiling, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “have a good night! i’ll see you tomorrow.” 
Tumblr media
the car ride was spent listening to yuuji tell you story after story, the boy opening up to you in a way that he hadn’t quite related to any of the other sorcerers, even gojo.
you smiled to yourself, enjoying his stories as you wondered how to tell kento that you were bringing your student home for dinner. 
there was still a bridge to cross between them, and though you knew they both liked the other more than they let on, kento hadn’t quite connected to the boy like he wanted to.
you hoped that by inviting him over, yuuji would see that kento, truly, wasn’t as intense as he let on. he was sweet, caring, and he did have a sense of humor… even if gojo didn’t really believe that. 
you led yuuji into the house, and stopped him when you heard the sound of kento in the kitchen. his mission had ended earlier than yours, and he’d offered to cook tonight; there would be more than enough food for the three of you. 
“i’ll be right back,” you said, tapping yuuji on the shoulder. “let me go tell kento you’re here.” 
you’d considered letting your husband know before you arrived, but you hadn’t wanted him to protest. kento would try to make a fuss of having a guest over, even if it was only yuuji, and he certainly didn’t care about formalities. 
your heart skipped when you reached kento, his back turned, finishing up the meal that was steaming on the stove. even just standing in the threshold of the kitchen, you were overwhelmed with all of your love for him. 
but it didn’t take much… it never had. you’d always been sickeningly in love with nanami kento. 
your footsteps were soft as you snuck up behind him. “kento,” you said, just above a whisper, snaking your arms around his waist. you kissed the muscles between his shoulder blades, listening to the steady thrum of blood pumping through his body. 
“hi, sweetheart.” he’d heard you approach, and he turned, eyes softening when he glanced at you over his shoulder. “everything okay at the school?”
you nodded, squeezing him tighter. even though you’d seen him just a few hours prior, it felt like a long time—time apart when you were battling curses always dragged as you worried for each other’s safety. “did your mission go okay?” you asked. 
he took your hands from around his waist, bringing them to his lips softly. “everything went fine. dinner’s almost ready so—” then, he noticed your guilty expression, one that you were clearly horrible at hiding. “is something wrong?” 
you smiled innocently. “no! i just… brought a guest.” 
kento’s eyebrows raised, his smiling falling quickly. “well, you could’ve told me before.” he sighed, shaking his head as he turned around to face you. 
“sorry, i thought i’d surprise you.” 
kento’s lips drew into a thinner line. “honey, please tell me gojo satoru is not in my house right now. he’s not welcome here anymore, because the last time he almost destroyed our fucki—” kento glanced up, his words falling away as he glanced over your shoulder. “itadori. hello. i didn’t realize you were there.” 
you turned, releasing kento as yuuji gawked back at you. he’d caught in such a loving embrace with kento. yuuji’s normally stoic teacher was in the middle of swearing, blonde hair tumbling over his forehead. kento had replaced his suit with casual wear, and his contacts had been taken out. in place of them were wire-rimmed glasses. 
“nanamin!” yuuji gasped. “you look so different.” 
“yes, well, i apologize for my apperance.” kento sighed, looking at you from the corner of his eye. “i wasn’t aware we were having guests.” 
“one guest. its just yuuji,” you said, poking him in the middle of the chest as his professional tone returned, so easily taking over. “i don’t think he cares what you’re wearing.” 
“no, i don’t!” yuuji backtracked, eyes wide as he shuffled forward. “no, you look cool, you don’t look so…” 
kento raised his eyebrows, amused, even if yuuji couldn’t detect the humor in his expression. “so what?” 
the boy’s cheeks turned pink, embarrassed as he rubbed the back of his neck. “um—”
“you don’t look like you’ve got a stick up your ass.” you said, voicing yuuji’s obvious thoughts as you kissed kento on the cheek with a short laugh. of course, it was only to embarrass him further in front of his student. 
kento feigned a scowl, but didn’t push you away, his gaze firmly planted on yuuji. “that’s because i try to keep my relationships at work strictly professional.” 
“really?” yuuji grinned, stuffing his hands back in his pockets, his posture relaxing as he grew more comfortable in your home. “not very professional to marry someone you work with, is it?” 
you laughed loudly, already caring so deeply for the boy that you’d known for such a short period of time. 
“that was certainly an accident,” kento muttered, but his fingers lingered on your spine, tracing each of the bones. “i’ll have you know we were not working together when we got together.” 
“really?” yuuji’s curiosity spiked. “how long have you been together, then?” 
you thought back to when you were teenagers, when kento had a haircut that he had since regretted, and smiled mischievously. reaching into your pocket, you pulled out your phone and scrolled through old photos, back from when you were just kids, the images grainy and of much lower quality than the ones from your recent vacation. 
“hey, don’t show him those!” kento protested. he reached for your phone, but you scrambled under his arm, stretching your hand out to give yuuji the device. “itadori, don’t—” kento’s voice held a hint of panic, his cheeks hot with embarrassment as he grabbed you around the waist, trying to stop you from giving yuuji the phone. 
but it was already in yuuji’s hands, and you laughed loudly, knowing that while you looked a little more awkward than you did now, your appearance had changed near as drastically as kento’s. 
yuuji squinted his eyes at a sixteen year old nanami, blond hair long enough to reach his eyes, dressed in an all black ensemble, an earbud in one ear. kento was hardly smiling, but you beamed next to him in the photo, dressed more childishly than you were now, but just as pretty. the image from when you still fumbled around each other, unsure how to admit that you were both in love. 
a roar of laughter left yuuji as kento’s expression fell, and he released you, snapping the phone out of itadori’s palm. “that’s you, nanamin? no way. how did you…” yuuji glanced between you, squinting his eyes. “well, i guess looking at you now it makes sense.” 
“i know,” you agreed, covering your smiles with your palms. “we looked a little silly together back then. i saw the potential in him, but satoru certainly loved to make fun of us, didn’t he, ken?” 
“i have absolutely no desire to relive those days.” 
yuuji laughed. “you were just like fushiguro, i bet!” 
“scarily similar,” you agreed, as kento rolled his eyes beside you, putting your phone in his pocket to keep you from scavenging any older photos to share with the kid. “and he still loves to listen to—”
“don’t finish that sentence or i’ll save this dinner all for myself.” 
yuuji eyes flew up to his hairline, but you just snorted, knowing that kento’s threats were about as scary as a puppy.
“he’s still sensitive about it,” you whispered to yuuji. “gojo and his friends made fun of him all the time.” 
“oh really. just me?” kento retorted under his breath.
“you must have been pretty popular, then!” yuuji grinned. “if you were friends with gojo. he said all the girls in school loved him!”
kento made an irritated sound, stirring the spoon roughly against the pot. “well, satoru is the last person you should listen to. he has an ego bigger than the sun. and my wife is leading you astray. she was not similar to satoru, she was painfully shy, and it took weeks for either of us to talk to each other.” kento took the pan off the stove, peering over his shoulder at you. “and she is very lucky i love her too much to dig up any embarrassing stories of her.” 
“well, stories about me aren’t that interesting anyway.” you laughed, pointedly turning your back to kento. “yuuji, the good news is, i’ve got some more photos in kento in the old photo books. let’s go see them!” 
10K notes ¡ View notes
cameronsbabydoll ¡ 2 months ago
Text
DESERVED BETTER ෆ RAFE CAMERON
WARNINGS — cheating (your bf cheating on you) slapping (your bf slaps you, yes he’s a dick) rafe punches your boyfriend and kicks him, blood
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Rafe watched as your boyfriend moved down the hallway of some random kook’s house; the music blared in his ears, and his eyes filled with fury as he watched your boyfriend lead the random girl into a bathroom. And the worst part isn’t even that, but it’s the fact that once Rafe finishes smoking his joint, he sees you walk through the door, Rafe stands up, throwing the joint out and walking up towards the entrance and to you, “Hey Sugar,” Rafe says, his blue eyes most definitely not moving over your form and most definitely not staring a second too long over the way your tits look in that outfit. “You, uh, looking’ for your little boyfriend?” 
Rafe knows that the second he asks that it’s a shot at the fact your boyfriend has never once ever deserved you, so here he is crushing on you like some dumb high school boy. Rafe points his thumbs towards the hallway, “He’s in the bathroom, sweetheart.” Rafe watches how you don’t even wait a second before walking away from him and down the hallway, knocking on the bathroom door. 
Rafe stands there looking at your figure disappearing, lost in his thoughts as the bass of the house music plays on; it isn’t until he hears the sound of a slap coming from the exact bathroom you went in, not the sound of skin slapping against each other in a sexual way. Nah, Rafe would most definitely know if it was that, but that was a damn slap. And that right there is the type of shit that Rafe would most certainly not allow. 
Rafe moves through the crowd of people dancing, pushing some aside, not sparing a glance before opening the bathroom door. The random girl is scrambling to pull up the ridiculously short skirt, and your boyfriend is tucking his tiny dick into his jeans, and you? His unbelievably sweet girl that isn’t his? You’re clutching your hand to your cheek, tears dripping down your face; your cheek is stinging red. And that moment right there is when Rafe’s fury and rage boil over.
Before Rafe can even think, his fist is slamming into your boyfriend’s face, the sound of his knuckles cracking into his jaw, the drip of blood pouring down on the bathroom floor. And for the hell of it, Rafe throws another punch for his own sake, “Get the hell out of here,” Rafe growls in his face, shoving his head towards you.
“And you’re going to apologize right now, and after that, you’re going to get your ass out of this house and never ever come back.” Before your boyfriend can even move his mouth to talk, Rafe slams his elbow back into his face, “You know what, dickhead? You don’t even deserve to look at her, so you most definitely don’t deserve to even speak to her. Get the fuck outta here!” Rafe yells into his ear, bringing his arm around your neck, and he leads you upstairs to a spare bathroom. 
Rafe picks you up and sets you on the bathroom counter. He reaches under the sink and grabs a medical kit and an ice pack. Rafe wipes your face with a wipe, and he presses a gentle kiss right on the red spot before placing the ice pack on it. “I know it’s not my place, doll, but please tell me you’re going to end this with him.” Rafe pleads slightly as his hands reach to cup your face, shaking his head as he looks into your eyes. “He never ever once deserved you, sweet girl.”
Rafe can see the tears swelling in your eyes again, your body trembling slightly. Rafe’s thumb reaches over, wiping the tears that are falling from your eyes. “Shh… don’t cry on me, sweet girl.” 
“I—I’m sorry…” and before you can finish your words, Rafe cuts you off as he leans his forehead against yours. “You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for baby, your safe now. I promise I got you.”
Rafe can feel your head nodding against his, trying to sink in his comforting words, “Fuck, baby, I can’t see you like this, so please, baby, listen to me, please, alright? You are way too perfect for that jerk, way too good to be wasting your time on some piece of shit like him.” 
Rafe leans back slightly, taking a deep breath, his hands moving down from cupping your face and resting down on your hips, pulling you slightly closer. “I know we can’t… I know that you haven’t even broken up with him, but fuck, baby… I want you… and I’d do anything for you.” Rafe brings one of his hands from your hip bone to your chin, lifting it so you're making eye contact. “Just tell me what you need. Tell me how to make this all feel better; I’ll do anything.” 
Rafe can see the breathy shake your body gives before you start to speak, “I-I just… I need some time, time to end it with him. I mean, I can’t really go home now… since all of my stuff is at his.” 
Rafe nods his head slowly, keeping his hands on your hips. “Okay… I get that, baby. I’ll give you all the time to figure it all out. And you’re right, I’m not letting you go back to that prick's place.”
Rafe leans in closer, taking a deep breath. “Stay with me, sweetheart. I’ll get you anything you need or want. And don’t you worry about having to get your stuff back from the jerk’s place; I’ll send a few of my friends to go over and pack up your stuff.”
Rafe leans in the rest of the way, pressing his lips against your lips; it’s not dominating or rough, it’s soft and gentle, like a promise. “And you just focus on moving on and healing… and I’ll handle the rest. Let me take care of you, just like I should’ve been doing all along.” 
“Thank you, Rafe… I really do appreciate everything you’ve done for me.” 
Rafe smiles softly at your words, a sense of pride swelling inside of him, “Don’t you worry about it. Listen, I know I’m not the most reliable or stable person, but I can promise that I’ll always be with you, always.” 
Rafe finally pulls back from resting his forehead against yours. “And for right now, let’s get you settled in my room; you can change or take a nice shower, okay, doll?” 
And with that Rafe scoops you up into his arms, cradling you against him as he walks down the hallway and to an untouched private bedroom; he places you gently on his bed, “Alright, baby… I think I have some sweatpants and some hoodies for you. They might be a bit big, but they should be comfortable.” 
Rafe sets down the clothes before pointing his finger towards the bathroom door, “And you can take a shower or clean up over there.” Rafe sets his hand on your knee and presses a small kiss on the side of your forehead. “I promise that you’re safe here with me. I won’t let anyone hurt you on my watch. I promised to protect you, and I intend to keep my promises.”
And with that promise, Rafe stands up and steps outside the door to give you some privacy to collect yourself. 
Tumblr media
2K notes ¡ View notes