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Fuck him stupid? He's already stupid. Does the shit cancel out? Fuck him smart?
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me when the disability disables me: oh what the fuck? this sucks. what the hell man!
#autism#actually autistic#adhd#audhd#disability#currently lying in bed thinking about all the Tasks i gotta do today and i cant motivate myself to do Any of them#:(
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reflection
#anyways so i think samus has major survivors guilt and is a super perfectionist. The type of girl who reimagines scenarios in her mind#And thinks about how she could have done better. like ‘if i had woken up sooner maybe i could have saved everyone in prime 3’#so i think she says she doesnt know anything about herself because shes so hypercritical of her actions she doesnt see herself as a person#while also her hyper critical-ness shows how she says she wants to ignore herself but she literally cant because she has so many criticisms#oh i wanted to include the ppl from the prime 2 manga in that one shot but was like ‘i dont think ppl will recognize them’.#also lol the existence of dark samus would fuck her up SOOOO bad like it only exists bc she exists & its responsible for the gang’s deaths#okay im done rambling tldr MENTAL ILLNESS.#metroid#samus aran#loneart#metroid dread#metroid prime#super metroid#metroid series#i dont wanna tag all the games. There just those games is enough#hall of fame
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yes i'm still thinking about the botw champions in 2024
#botw#breath of the wild#loz#legend of zelda#revali#urbosa#daruk#mipha#botw champions#art#fanart#illustration#comic#digtial art#digtial illustration#drawing#artwork#artists on tumblr#theartofmadeline#i cannot stop thinking about the sos signals. im losing my mind.#it's been years but it's eating away at my brain again.#god i love them....#cant stop thinking about the moment they all realized they weren't going to make it
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new official illust of them with puppies healed something in me
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#nobara kugisaki#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#file name pupys btw bc they r all. pupys#6 pupys in this image#cries eternally u kno the cruel thing is there is no winning fr me when it comes 2 creating art fr this series#i draw them in canon situations i experience pain i draw them in noncanon Relaxed situations i experience pain#illusion of choice.....#regardless i care them so much i would MUCH rather them b in a sunny field with dogs#i will endure the bittersweet feeling of being an audience member n knowing that their reality is nowhere this tranquil#i can dream :'< i can draw :'<#anyway this took a billion years bc i made megumi stand smh#he didnt fight or anything but th overall Composition ws a bit harder 2 navigate because of it#smth smth sizing smth smth planes idk i cant draw#i think it makes sense tho! nobara/yuuji sitting chilling casually rolling a tennis ball fr their puppies#meanwhile megumi Actively trying 2 train his#head in hands god im MISERABLE#anyway this will b available as a print per request if any1 wants 2 b miserable with me
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listen there really was just something about how in the book, snow’s 3-page descent from hesitant lover boy to deluded mfer happens entirely in his mind. lucy gray gives him no indication whatsoever that she suspects him, that she’s going to leave or betray him. he’s just sitting quietly in the cabin waiting for her to return when that seed of calculated suspicion, which he has needed to survive the capitol, takes a hold of him and chokes the life out of any goodness left inside him. it really drives home your terror as a reader that “oh my god did he kill her? did she escape? what happened to her? why would he even think that?” in a way that when the movie had to adjust for visualization it lost some of that holy shit this guy has lost it emphasis.
#seeing some discourse and im not saying lucy grey didnt know#im saying she never dropped the kind of hints that she knew like she did in the movie#or if she did snow isnt worried about them until he very suddenly is consumed by them#snow is not concerned about whether or not she believed him. of course she did! hes snow!#but then shes gone…. for a while……#and its the sudden immediate drastic unravelling that comes across so clearly in the book#that i knew wouldn’t translate to screen yet still cant help but miss#the hunger games#coriolanus snow#tbosas#lucy gray baird#not a crime or anything just a note that i cannot stop thinking about#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#this is all from memory of reading it quite a while ago. so maybe 3 pages is an exaggeration#but i remember it happening VERY quickly and without much external cause#like we as the reader have no indication as to whether shes nearby or not.#snow has no idea either. he just SUSPECTS. and his suspicion breeds the hatred that has been bubbling inside him all this time#he hates how she undoes him. he hates that he WOULD run away with her if shed let him keep his secrets#and he HATES more than anything that she makes him WANT to tell his secrets#he wants to be vulnerable and reveal the ugly nasty parts about himself and still be loved#but he does not let himself and it is everyone’s downfall#he chooses cruelty bc it is easy and familiar and makes him feel more powerful than the vulnerable give and take that real love requires
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PHAETHON
#zzz#zenless zone zero#wise#belle#phaethon#*mgif#i think the wise gif was recorded without the color filter on so thats why it looks more saturated??#but i spent like 5 hours just recording both of them because the files kept disappearing#and i cant be bothered to do that all over again#which makes me sad bcs i wanted these to match so bad but i dont have the energy anymore</3#fellow ccs#do you guys record with obs or another recorder#because mine can only go up to 1080p#and i know some can go up to 2k
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Ghost Kitchen (brought to you by criminal entrepreneur, Red Hood)
Danny’s got the easiest job in Gotham.
He works as a fry cook at a shoddily-run, independent burger joint. Hardly anyone comes in, despite prices being criminally low, and portions insanely large, and while the manager looks like the average tough-as-nails ex-con, he lets Danny mess around in the kitchen whenever the place is empty. (Which is often. This place has to be the city’s hidden gem or something!)
Mr. Manager’s the only one ever there with Danny, except for sometimes when his buddies come over to smoke and play cards. Danny would find it shady, except part of his job is not to ask questions. Literally, he was told during the interview.
(It was a weird interview. Why would they need to hire someone who’s been in a gunfight before? Like, he has, but Gotham’s idea of “hirable qualities” is so bizarre.)
So instead he whips up some killer burgers with the frozen ingredients, and basks in the praise as the guys tell him he shouldn’t have, he does too much for this joint, ain’t that friendly!
Now, Danny’s a chef on the newer side. As a teen he’d preferred the look of Nasty Burger over anything with Michelin stars, and he only really took up cooking after Jazz moved out for college. But just like ecto-exposure used to turn the groceries sentient, Danny’s low-level ecto signature imbues all his food with something historically haunted Gothamites just love! And Danny’s never been one to half-ass a job when it makes people happy.
With fresher produce, real meat, Danny’s sure he can take his dishes to the next level. It takes a couple months of badgering, but his manager finally agrees to contact the mysterious store owner, who keeps the place going, despite profits Danny knows have to be in the red.
Danny spends the morning prepping. He pours his heart into his food, eager to impress. The big boss will be here soon, and he wants to prove that despite the dangerous location, this place has real potential!
It isn’t until the Red Hood shows up that Danny realizes he’s been working for a money laundering scheme.
#ecto has a weird effect on them actually. a lot like how danielle drinks ecto to keep her stable#ecto has positive health benefits for gothamites! it boosts their immune system gives them a little more energy makes them less irritable#silly hc but i think its fun#also danny just. thought it was a normal ass interview. the person who hired him was heavily hinting at the criminal element of his job the#whole time. danny just kept thinking man i cant believe all interviews are like this in gotham. every one of the#m asks if im okay lying to cops. i am but its weird i never got asked this in amity#dpxdc#dcxdp#dc x dp#dp x dc#dead on main#ghost kitchen au#danny fenton#jason todd#kipwrite
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2023 darkstalker floating in space doing nothing grinning evily and scary. png 1 and 2
#theres things i dont like in here but i also dont feel like retouching them so close ur eyes and pretend i did#no memory of drawing those btw. whenever i draw this guy i do in in a daze and hes on my canvas all finished up#my wof lore is that whiteout os my fav character evar so far but#instead of drawing her my brains forcing me to draw her annoying evil brother i hate#lim serious when i say i dont like him. but hes soooo fun to draw i cant say no to worlds evilest 17 year old teenager dragon. frown#i think i made those around the time i got the book which i still didnt get to read btw. sorry. this year was craszy#ill get to it. promise#darkstalker#wof#wings of fire#art tag#eyestrain
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Some Fords! (and Martin K Blackwood is also there)
#Some Ford wips I'm working on! I'll probably post these all seperately later. I dunno yet. just wanted them out of brain jail#The TMA crossover drawings are inspired by a fic which I cannot find the name of right now BECAUSE AO3 is DOWN????#anyway I got more drawings for it I'll post all together later#also I haven't listened to protocals yet and I need to relisten to the og so I hope I remembered Martin's level of lonely avatarship lmao#Also I just think Ford would be a bit mean to himself. ESPECIALLY his immidiately post Fiddleford leaving self#conflicting thoughts of 'I cant risk changing the timeline' and#'I was a miserable self centered idiot and Im afraid I still am so I need to to put my younger self down to feel better'#Gravity falls#Stanford pines#ford pines#young stanford pines#gf fanart#fanart#fan art#my art#digital art#martin k blackwood#the magnus archives crossover#Edit: the fic was 'earth becomes sky in the most literal fashion'!!
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Columbo and the Knight (1984)
put me in the universe where Columbo ran through the 1980s and had a crossover episode with Knight Rider. I think they deserved it, and I am not just saying that because they're my two favorite Old Shows. @telebeast wrote a little fanfic blurb about it and I HAD to visualize it into a comic (which is also the longest comic I have finished thus far at five pages...), so writing credit goes to them.
Autism W!
#columbo#knight rider#art#michael knight#kitt#comic#highlight reel#crossover#telebeast#there are two small easter eggs here. can you find them. they were somehow not Entirely lost when i resized these for the public#this is what i mean when i say I Draw And It's Everyone Else's Problem. look at my INCREDIBLY niche crossover comic boy#if the knight rider fandom has like 12 people in it. how many of y'all have seen columbo#this comic is for like 4 people and me and phoenix are already two of them#niche is my specialty lets be real. weird niche obscure shit and ships nobody's paid attention to yet#not to suggest this is ship art. columbo has his wife and michael has his car lmfao#stylizing real people is EXTREMELY hard btw sorry for when they get off model. its partly a 'better imperfect than never finished' situatio#cant tell you how much i redrew some of these panels. weeps#this took me 2 weeks but i think i thumbnailed it all in may and the ideas been rollin around in my head since march#is anybody good at editing. please edit michael and columbo into an image together like its a screenshot. NOT generated. edited.#it would be so cool#ive drawn columbo a lot but i haven't drawn a lot of michaels. i was learning things about his outfit AS I WAS DOING THE DAMN#COLORS ON THIS. all the lines done. it was too late to change anything. i did all the lines and colored page by page#i realized my mistakes on like page 3. 1 and 2 were already done. it was Too Late.#imagine it though. them working a case together. switching between the more serious tone of columbo vs the goofier#action antics of michael and kitt. columbo being so impressed by Modern Technology. there's more i could say but phoenix may write#more of this crossover and i don't want to spoil it :'3#there's opportunity here though i swear. there's gold to be dug.#i like how kitt gets shading but columbo's junker peugeot doesn't. kitt looked wrong without any. columbo's car is matte and dirty#i also applied effects to this to make it look a little film-grainy and VHS like. some CRT TV vibes#the only question left is. did they put knight rider into columbo; or columbo into knight rider 🤔
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new anatomy
#I CANT STOP DRAWING THEM#OBSESSEEDDD#sorry i want the body horror so bad i have to make it happennnn#this is barely#body horror#but i guesssss#but im thinking about how even if the wings are just a one time thing his back could be so fucked up from all that#my guy AT LEAST got a bunch of new muscles and tendons in there and bone connecting in a weird way hhehhehehehe#shadow the hedgehog#sonic fanart#sonic x shadow generations#sxsg#sonic x shadow generations spoilers#sth#sonic the hedgehog#the wings are kind of a pain in the ass to draw tho dffggfdg#i've seen people draw them better i need to make a reference collection from other people's art
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these two are so interesting to me
characters belong to @canisalbus
#clenches fists. im so sosososo normal about them. i think about them a normal amount (lying)#actually the 2nd image is based on some sort of anime couple pose template(?????) that i saw a while back and wanted to draw them in it#but i swear to god i CANNOT FUCKING FIND IT. i was literally knee deep in yuri and yaoi fanart for hours trying to find that god damn photo#but i dont even know who the characters were and pinterest just shows me bakugou and deku making out sloppy style whenever i try#so i gave up an tried drawing it from memory and cried the whole time. i hate anatomy.. but they look so happy so its fine#god whenever i see Lore or sweet little tidbits for these two i want to tear into something with my teeth and throw something /pos#i genuinely want to study these gay little renaissance dogs under a microscope#what fucks me up is the fact that we all know it ends horribly but u cant help loving them anyway.. they are so. incoherent hand gestures#my art#myart#others ocs#vasco#machete#vaschete#furry art#fur#anthro
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death is insane. wdym i’ll never see my grandmother again
#she’s in her chair in the den cant nobody tell me nothing ok#death tw#grief#what’s this house without my grandmother in it? (all the people she left behind)#i cried this morning while eating grits she taught my mother how to make. love is so big when i think of it like that#i thought i heard her walker clack in the hallway last night.#she wears glasses & we have to decide where to keep them#grief is so strange#i can’t keep crying by myself (i’ll be crying for the rest of my life)#love is carrying on. i think.
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feetman
#hlvrai#half live vr but the ai is self aware#gordon freeman#gordon feetman#so idk if theres any like ‘metastory’ to there being a player or if its literally just supposed to be wayne#but i thought it would be kinda interesting for the player to be his own guy#cause like to me#a big part of it that makes it fun is that gordon has like#no actual stakes#dude is getting pissed for the sake of it#he knows its a game and is just freaking out at the ai being so alive u know#now since i cant remember if theres some kind of canon or metastory to the player you can completely decide for yourself why hes playing#or how he got the game#is he just some guy? is it an experiment? is it for his job? who knows!#hes The Player#also if ur wondering why his design is so similar to gordons#its cause i didnt wanna stray into the unrecognizable lmao#also. i really really really didnt wanna draw the fucking suit#and yes thats benrey on the tamagotchi#i think it would be very funny if he could cart them all around in tamagotchis#sorry for long tags
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u should think of tiny megu. To keep the stress at bay. You should draw him actually. Ooooo you wanna draw tiny megu getting the love he deserves so bad /j
he's with his 2 best friends
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#nobara kugisaki#itafushikugi#they r just BABIES#these 3 r the fiends of the playground . they make me SICK#thinks abt yuuji with his scuffed knees n the socks/crocs combo covered in dirt n mud still beaming at megumi with the force of 1000 suns#thinks about nobara making the two of them push her on the swingset :((((((#thinks about them climbing trees collecting cool rocks looking fr bugs being KIDS#i want to die actually. i shouldnt have drawn this#in other news! hina put yuuji in something Other than a plain white t shirt challenge clear!#u cant see all of it but th shirt says explore#N NOBARAS OUTFIT IS SO CUTE tbh i lowkey . want.#coordinated her bracelet n hairclip bc she Would. best dressed 8 year old#omg but speaking of best dressed 8 year olds#looking through kids fashion on pinterest fr ref and . WHO is dressing these kids children r not meant to look that put together#where r the obnoxious layers where r the clashing colours wtf is up with all this beige n cashmere n collars#i do not like this world we live in where toddlers can look more expensive than me#put those preschoolers in bright purple and orange as god intended >:(#anyway enjoy pls anon im miserable thinking abt the childhood none of them got to have <3
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