#do you guys record with obs or another recorder

[belobogindustries]

PHAETHON

[whumpdoyoumean]

Whumptober #8

xxx forced to stay awake

"Do not let him sleep!" Louisa's voice, sounding strange and distant. It reminds River of the vinyl records he used to listen to with the OB as a kid, the really old ones that made his granddad get that wistful look on his face that disappeared again as soon as he caught River looking at him. Things were so much simpler back then. If he closes his eyes, he can almost pretend he's back there...

"Cartwright!" Lamb snaps, shaking him a little. "Do you want to be fired from the Service for good?"

In this moment, that actually doesn't sound like too much of a bad thing if River is being honest. He doesn't say so.

"That wasn't rhetorical." Lamb's voice is loud, sharp. "We both know how your last job interview went. No one that's any good'll take you, which means you'll be stuck behind a desk at some basic mid-level office job. Or maybe a private firm'll take you on, like your old pal Webb! Imagine working for those arseholes. Is that what you want?"

"No," River mutters.

"No? Then keep your fucking eyes open!"

River forces himself to comply. There's not much to look at, really: the back of the passenger seat; the blood on his hand; Jackson Lamb's knees; the back of Louisa's head and, when he lifts his gaze a little, a glimpse of her worried face in the rear-view. The inside of his eyelids offered a better view.

The car hits a bump, jolting him and ripping a cry from his throat as pain tears through his side and chest where the bullets had struck. His vision goes dark for a second, and then he's pulled back to awareness by the sound of Lamb's raised voice.

"Jesus Christ," he's saying. "Who taught you how to drive?"

"I'm sorry!" Louisa, voice pinched. "River, come on!"

River groans, and prying his eyelids apart is harder this time. Breathing is hard, too. Everything is hard.

"River, talk to me! You okay?" Louisa cries.

"Yup," River gasps. Another groan. "Hurts."

"I'll bet it does," Lamb says. "Maybe next time you'll think twice before running off on your own like a fucking dickhead, eh? Course, I thought the same thing the last two times you did it. It's like you never learn, no matter how many times I tell you to stop doing stupid shit."

"You can..." River really shouldn't be wasting his breath on this, but he can't help it. "You can lead a horse to water."

Lamb makes a noise that could be a snort of laughter or, more likely, he's hacking up something disgusting.

"I don't know that I could lead you fuck-ups to water if we were on a-a tiny island in the middle of the Pacific."

River tries to draw in another breath to respond, but his chest hitches and he lets out a wet cough. His mouth fills with the taste of iron and he almost gags, but coughs again instead, blood flecking his lips, and he just keeps coughing. Panic is creeping in, black dancing at the edges of his vision. He can't get enough air...

"Keep breathing," Lamb commands, his words filtering through the ringing in River's ears. The pressure he's been holding on the hole in River's chest increases as he tightens his grip.

He doesn't know how long it takes, it feels like a lifetime, but the coughing fit finally subsides. His chest is burning, head pounding. He can't catch his breath. And, more than anything else, he's so, so tired. It's a deep, heavy exhaustion. He just wants to sleep.

"Cartwright! You open your fucking eyes, now."

Fucking Lamb. Louisa is speaking too, but River can't discern the words. She's too far away. He suspects she wants him to stay awake too, though, damn her. Damn both of them.

"Now!" Lamb repeats, tapping River's face. "You hear me, Cartwright? That's an order. I know you're shit at following those, but you had better follow this one. Come on. Eyes open. If you won't do it for me, do it for Guy. You saw what happened after Min. What do you think'll happen if you die in her backseat?"

That sparks something, the faintest bit of anger, and River's eyes open a little. He doesn't know how he manages it.

He doesn't know if he'll manage it again.

xxx

[junkyardisles]

NO LONGER BEING UPDATED

emulation sources

roms megathread (ssa wii u internet archive download) (may require cdecrypt if not downloading roms through usbhelper) dolphin wiki + download rpcs3 wiki + download cemu wiki + download zadig (if using a real portal. i know dolphin and rpcs3 have portal emulation, unsure with cemu) prototype builds: giants builds (useful info), ssa xpec builds, swap force build, superchargers build

will update if i get any more information. feel free to add anything additional info based on stuff i've toyed with (i don't know my specs): > you may need to allow a usb passthrough in dolphin, it's in the config > as stated on the wikis, cemu requires updating the usb input driver while dolphin requires zadig to have it changed to a libusb/winusb driver (either work about half the time. technology moment). the portal is under spyro porta. i recommend having separate portals for cemu and dolphin so you don't need to mess with drivers > i used vulkan graphics for cemu and default for dolphin. i'm not a tech guy though so just play with whatever works best ig i just use default settings. portal compatability guide > for dolphin gif making, i used 8x msaa anti aliasing and had the internal resolution as 1920x1080. for the most part it ran average on a half dead computer from 2015. i'd recommend 1280x720 w/ no or minimal anti aliasing though > ssa and giants' main gameplay both ran mostly fine with vbi skip on (though i haven't checked heroic challenges) with occasional drops to 12fps, only superchargers racing's first cup and parts of the second have been tested > never used rpcs3 and i don't know if citra can run skylanders games, until i learn more it'll be absent > swap force is pretty broken on cemu, lawl > ir sensors for dolphin will need to be configured if using something like an xbox controller, have relative input on so the cursor doesn't snap back to the middle > ssa and giants can lag often and being in the ruins starting from around the middle part of the game will be noticeably slower. co-op is very slow. cemu handles co-op great though and generally is pretty fast > if you wanna play online with a friend, get parsec > if not using the console's controller type, i'd recommend just using your own controls rather than setting them to whatever makes sense (like having the trigger be your primary instead of something like A w/ an xbox controller) > if the game lags hard enough your skylander might disconnect for a sec (only experienced in giants when recording with obs). pausing the game for a couple seconds if having lag usually fixes it > dolphin games run fine when being recorded w/ obs or streamed on discord. haven't checked cemu yet > cutscenes in dolphin always have a weird like. screen tearing? thing? as far as i know there's no way to fix it, but they play fine besides that > newer (experimental) versions of cemu seem to break with skylanders >if you're getting wii u roms from the internet archive you'll need to get cdecrypt. its newest release is super easy to use (drag the rom folder onto it and it'll do everything for you, thank god) >dolphin is the only emulator with freecam >superchargers racing was buggy on both computers i got it on. 2015 pc wouldn't launch it and my 2022 laptop disconnects the portal after every race, requiring the game to be restarted >cemu would crash after doing about two races (updated 31/8/2024. added another piece of info)

[fakezircon]

hellooo zircon, for no particular reason (/silly) do you have any tips for beginner streamers? Your streams are always clean and well put together esp from a technical side imo so I trust your advice on this one :) - @helsex

This is gonna be long so get comfy.

#1 best tip: Get familiar with your streaming software of choice (most likely OBS) and don't be afraid to play with it. Your first streams are not gonna be a polished as you'd like no matter what you do. You don't need to know the software inside and out to use it well and familiarity will come with use. The best approach (in my opinion) is to figure out what you like in other streams and figure out how to do that for yourself, don't worry about learning absolutely everything right from the start.

Another good tip is to do some mic checks beforehand, if you just record instead of streaming you'll be able to see what your mic sounds like on stream, and there are tons of tutorials out there for figuring out mic settings (this is the one I followed I think, although with some differences just for my own preference).

Yet another helpful resource: this is a link to an obs plugin that will help manage audio sources so you can actually control what plays on stream, instead of it just playing your whole desktop audio. (I think OBS has a version of this going now? But I tried using it and didn't get far) You'll have to add an audio source individually for each application but the greater control is a godsend.

For overlays (things like chat on stream and alerts that play when people follow/subscribe/raid that sort of thing), there's a few routes you can go down. Twitch has their own alerts thing but personally I use streamelements (they also have a very popular chatbot which I don't use myself but may be worth looking into if that's something you want). Whichever service you end up using should give you some sort of link, which will be added to your obs as a Browser Source. (Also if you're using the obs plugin I linked, the browser source audio would be under the name "obs-browser-page.exe" after you set up the browser source)

My final bit of advice is that hotkeys are your friends! It is absolutely worth setting up a few hotkeys to make controlling your stream while in game easy. Personally I have hotkeys set up for toggle muting my my mic and discord audio, as well as for changing between my most common scenes (Also my catcam when my animals deign to show up). Typically if you are just using a regular keyboard you'll want to use key combinations as hotkeys to avoid accidentally activating one while trying to type in game (Something I have done many a time, but hey you never stop learning!).

Shoutout to @addaxbones for teaching me literally everything I know about streaming btw. He's the guy that got me into this mess and also the reason I met most of my friends today. (love that guy)

One last thing under the readmore to cover my shame /silly:

I am flattered you consider my streams "clean and well put together", and you can maybe take this as proof that on screen != behind the scenes, but here is my desktop from a few streams ago, not a tidy look I can tell you that.

It doesn't normally get this bad, but it's also not a whole lot better.

[some-triangles]

The song that's been in my head for the last month and change is Beeswing by the folk-rock legend Richard Thompson. It's become kind of a modern folk standard - in Ireland, particularly, as far as I can tell. Richard Thompson is one of those people who you suspect of being a genius and also of being an asshole. He's got a famous Bitter Divorce Record to his name but he may be the only person to have recorded one with the woman he was divorcing. He has never been as famous or as rich as his talent would suggest he should be and he seems very aware of it.  He’s one of my favorite guitarists.

Beeswing itself is your classic song about a girl which is actually about the guy singing, his regrets at the road not taken, growing old, etc.  Here’s Richard:

Man, I’d like to be able to play like that.

It isn’t the first result that comes up when you search for Beeswing on YouTube, though.  That one belongs to Christy Moore:

Christy is another folk-rock legend, but he’s even less rich and famous than Richard.  He’s a leftist and an Irish republican, also, whereas Richard is your standard liberal who wasn’t too proud to accept an OBE.  In this video Christy never mentions who wrote the song - he’s only singing it as a tribute to his dead friend, who liked it - and he also fixes it.  He removes Richard’s beautiful but showy guitarwork, rearranges the verses, snips little words here and adds them in there.  He streamlines it, clarifies it, takes out the weirdly violent part, and manages to make the song, in some way, about its putative subject.  I wonder if he did this pointedly or if he was just a craftsman at his work. 

In doing this he created a fork in the song’s history.  There are covers of both versions online - for the most part, the polished ones follow Richard’s, the raw ones follow Christy’s.   Some of the latter seem to be reaching for a third subject of the song, which isn’t wistfulness for a girl who symbolizes an imagined lost freedom or genuine tenderness for the actual woman but anger at the system that makes you pay such a steep price for the chains that you refuse.

So the Irish own this song now. 

This post doesn’t have a moral - it’s just me clearing out my latest mini-fixation to make room for the next one.  But it’s always good to remember that you lose ownership of your art the second you put it in front of other people, and that it doesn’t ultimately matter what you meant by it if someone looks at it and sees something better.

[andmaybegayer]

Last Monday of the Week 2023-09-04

Bean power springs eternal

Listening: Started The Magnus Archives because I remember everyone loving those years ago. First few episodes so far, it's good! I kind of wish it was a full radio drama because the stories are well done but the framing device works. The one about the guy who got given the mysterious coffin was great.

A lot of these stories have me imagining them drawn in the style of Abby Howard's horror stuff, like The Door in the Kitchen or The Portrait of Sal Pullman:

Reading: Stray Feathers: Reflections on the Structure, Behaviour and Evolution of Birds, a collection of mostly one-page notes on Australian birds published by the CSIRO. Mostly flipping through it to fulfil some questions I had about feathers but it's quite engaging and I'm probably going to end up reading the whole thing. Wonderful illustrations.

Playing: Still at Breath of the Wild, spent a while tooling around in the southern part of the map, found one of the other springs and stumbled into the Lightning Dragon. Probably going to finally head into the desert soon and check out that Divine Beast.

Watching: Got slightly obsessed with this youtube series where a guy cooks several recipes focussed on a single ingredient, starting when he had half a caterer's bag of potatoes left over from another video. Really well shot food and also interesting, some cool ideas.

In particular the Garlic and Onion ones look... really good.

Making: Not much, although my sealed bags arrived today so I can start printing again, I have some designs lined up. I guess I made roti for the first time which involved seasoning a cast iron pan, a thing I've never done before. My parents only piece of cast iron is a thawa that is literally a piece of plate cast iron you'd find in like, a bridge section, that one of my uncles cut and bent with an oxy-acetylene torch, and it had been used several hundred times before I was born so the concept of intentionally seasoning cast iron has never come up.

Tools and Equipment: I've been using gpu-screen-recorder to do replays of Breath of the Wild.

You could just use OBS or whatever but GPU-screen-recorder implements recording and encoding all on the GPU, dramatically reducing CPU overhead and resulting in an extremely efficient replay system. It's basically an open source version of the driver-level video recorders AMD and Nvidia include in their software suites. It is kind of prototype software, it's not quite ready for mainstream, but it's a handy thing and you can get it to spit raw video if you want to incorporate it into a larger workflow.

[lightneverfades]

So... I have a few thoughts regarding Sylvie. In spite of my love for Lokius, I feel really bad for Sylvie's character development in this season cause I really kinda wanted her to flourish as well cause last season we didn't get to see her backstory apart from that one scene in Ep4, S1. Just me?

Warning: Contains spoilers for Season 2, Episode 5 so do not read if you haven't watched the episode!

Cause there was a lot of potential for Sylvie to become Enchantress!Sylvie. And even though the whole McDonalds thing is funny, I kind of wish they had found a better way for her to become who she is.

Perhaps in Season 3 (I think there will be one considering the high ratings Season 2 is getting), we will see her able to develop as a character. Still, right now it's hard to see too much character development from Sylvie, cause the season is prioritizing the plot and Loki's character development, as well as Mobius's (and a few bits and pieces of B15, Casey, OB, Brandon/X-5 - which granted didn't need to be that long, although I am not complaining so much cause we got some hella great scenes of Loki using his magic).

I really want to see the badass Sylvie again we saw in Season 1. And while I do love her development scenes like that moment with Timely in episode 3, or those small moments when she realizes she needs to go back to the gang, I find that these are small developments and not quite enough to shape her character more richly. I kind of actually wish Marvel would release a limited series of Sylvie (three episodes or so) just to give her story breathing space because right now the only person in her life that seems to really matter is the people in her lives (like that kid in McDonalds or that guy at the record store) and we don't know them so much, so it's hard to feel invested in her life because it feels so separated from Loki's current situation.

So this is not really about Sylki or Lokius (in spite of my love for Loki/Mobius, I dislike the ship wars that start between these two), but mainly focused on my thoughts & concern for Sylvie's character moving forward. Hopefully, we will get some great character development for her soon (Season 1 was rather lacking in that dept, to be honest, and I had been hoping to see more of her getting fleshed out in this season, maybe even going back to her Asgardian roots possibly?), and she will be able to be her own magnificent kickass self after our amazing Loki gets a chance to ascend to the throne he was always supposed to have in the (most likely) form of God of Stories <3!

I mean, come on... if she went back to Asgard right after killing He Who Remains, that would have made more sense right? I know she probably has another double version of her in that timeline, but I just think it sort of makes sense... I almost wanted her to be curious about that life she could have had in the 'original' timeline.

Still, all these not-so-great thoughts about Sylvie's character development aside, I'm personally loving the effin' heck out of this season for the suspense and thrills this show is giving us with the grand twists and turns it's giving us, so apart from this little qualm, I am SO here for Episode 6! <3

I just want the show to treat Sylvie better I guess, that's all <3 Especially caused Sophia Di Martino is SUCH a great actress, she deserves to have great character development for Sylvie! <3 And hopefully a great origin story moment for Sylvie later on in the future for the Multiverse storylines in the coming future!

[mischief-lies-and-stories]

Loki Episode 4 Incoherent Thoughts

I know we have two more episodes. I know it's (probably) gonna be fine. But goddamn, guys.

I hope this episode doesn't completely disprove the end of my fic so soon.

Also the word Heart in the title is turning me into more of an absolute Fool

This intro is making me very upset

HOW DID THIS RECORDING GET BACK TO THE TVA IN THE WAR ROOM

OH SHIT

OH FUCKING SHIT

NO YOU'RE NOT, YOU DOUCHE

Welp, already. Before the title card. Damn.

Why does the door stay open at the end of the last episode for Loki and Mobius, but close immediately in this one though?

Sylvie!

Wait no Heart is in the title.

I SWEAR TO GOD IF RENSLAYER AND MINUTES END UP TOGETHER AND THE ONLY GAY REP WE GET IS THE VILLAIN LADY AND THE ANIMATED CLOCK I'M GONNA LOSE IT

Loki being soft and gentle is KILLING ME

You didn't need to give me that long of a shot on that screen. I know the future's approaching.

B15 I WOULD DIE FOR YOU

Fucking hell I love this. I want the end of this so bad to be lokius and Sylvie as my trio but not a throuple.

Gaybies!

His number two fan!

LOOK AT CASEY BACK THERE SMILING LIKE A PROUD BOYFRIEND I'M SORRY I SHIP THESE TWO SO BAD

ANOTHER REASON WHY HIS NAME IS OUROBOROS I'M DYING

OH MY GOD HE SAID THE THING OB YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THE THING I'M SCREAMING

OH MY GOD THIS IS KILLING ME

SYLVIE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M SO HAPPY YOU'RE HERE

OB YOU MADE MINI-FIGURES?!

STOP I HAVE TOO MANY THINGS TO WRITE I CANNOT WRITE A FIC WHERE OB DMS THEIR DND CAMPAIGN

OB'S NOT SO SUBTLE LOOK AT SYLVIE WHEN HE SAYS "When someone killed He Who Remains" AND HER RESPONDING LOOK OF PRIDE LIKE 'Thank you, and I'd do it again' AND LOKI LIKE 'Not in front of the variant, please' IS FUCKING SENDING ME

"And ruined my life" OB YOU'RE MY FAVORITE OFFICIALLY

THE BICKERING IS BACK BABYYY ALSO IT'S ABSOLUTELY YOUR TURN LOKI HE'S RIGHT

CASEY AND OB JUST IDLY WATCHING THE BANTER I CANNOT WITH THIS EPISODE OH MY GOD

SYLVIE JUMPING INTO THE BICKERING OH NO OH NO (this is an oh no for me, maybe I'll explain what oh no means in reaction posts later, if anything comes of this one. God I hope not)

Loki is a very fast runner

VICTOR

But also please do not come in the way of Casey and OB

Ohhh fuck

I thought she was gonna restore his memories without permission, I really did

[I just paused typing the reactions because I thought of a theory OH MY GOD]

LOKI DON'T GO AFTER HER YOU KEEP CHOOSING MO STOP

OH FUCKING BRAD AGAIN

WHY ARE THEY ALL IN THERE THAT'S A TERRIBLE IDEA

THIS IS ABOUT TO BE A PRISON RIOT

B15 NO YOU CAN'T TRUST THEM

They're for sure gonna go for it AND THEN TURN ON YOU WHEN IT'S TIME

NO THAT'S THEIR PLACE

Lord please don't kiss

Loki you're doing great sweetie please don't try to kiss her

LOKI STOP I'M GONNA WRITE A POEM IF YOU KEEP SPITTING WISDOM

SYLVIE YOU'VE SEEN WIZARD OF OZ??!!

Don't you DARE FUCKING kiss her

Oh thank god

FUCK YOU RENSLAYER

FUCK OFF BITCH

BRAD THAT'S A BOLD FACE LIE

MINUTES GO FUCK YOURSELF (Timely's not gonna do it, after all)

EEEWWW

MINUTES YOU FUCKING BITCH YOU'RE SMILING THAT'S DISGUSTING

BRAD YOU BETTER TURN ON A BITCH

THE TEMPAD ISN'T WORKING??!!

This is weird

WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS WEIRD SHIT

BRAD YOU MOTHER FUCKER DON'T! FUCK

MOBIUS WHAT DID YOU PLAY? I BET IT WAS CANDY CRUSH AND AMONG US

FUCKING HELL I HATE THIS SO FUCKING MUCH FUCK THIS

TIMELY OH MY GOD

OH MY GOD SYLVIE

FUCK MY BRAIN IS MOVING FAST AND GOD I HATE IT I KNOW WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN I PAUSED IT

SO IT MIGHT NOT HAPPEN TILL NEXT WEEK BUT: So they're separated, Sylvie gets up, pries open the elevator doors in time to see past Loki get pruned but thinks it's current Loki. And she's very upset about it. Then current Loki shows up and they reunite and she kisses him for real this time. GOD PLEASE NO I'M GONNA BE NERVOUS FOR THE NEXT SEVENTEEN MINUTES MINUS WHENEVER THAT HAPPENS.

ON THE OTHER HAND IF YOU JUST HUG HIM I CAN HANDLE THAT

THERE'S PAST LOKI SHIT HERE WE GO

ELEVATOR BROKEN. I MIGHT START CRYING PREMATURELY

IF I GET THIS RIGHT I'M GONNA BE SHOCKED I NEVER PREDICT THINGS RIGHT EVEN IF THEY'VE BEEN HEAVILY FORESHADOWED.

I DON'T WANT THIS TO BE THE MOMENT I CHECK OFF THAT BINGO SQUARE PLEASE NO

SYLVIE GOOD GIRL OH MY GOD YOU'RE SO SMART THIS IS WHY YOU ARE THE SUPERIOR VARIANT

WAIT WE STILL DON'T KNOW WHO'S ON THE PHONE THOUGH

WAIT PAUSED AGAIN. WAS I ORIGINALLY RIGHT, DOES FUTURE LOKI PRUNE PAST LOKI? OKAY EVERYTHING ABOUT MY PREDICTION IS THE SAME EXCEPT SHE'S ONLY UPSET UNTIL PAST BOI DISAPPEARS BECAUSE CURRENT BOI IS RIGHT THERE. OKAY PRESSING PLAY AGAIN

RIPPING OPEN THE DOOR, CURRENT LOKI WITH PRUNE STICK Y'ALL AS SOON AS I FIGURED OUT HE ACTUALLY GOT PRUNED FROM BEHIND I SAID IT WAS LOKI

DO IT LOKI MOBIUS NEEDS YOU

OH RIGHT YOU NEED TO SEE SYLVIE RIGHT. I forgot you understood this shit better than I do.

There's a guy in another apartment yelling ARGH, and that's a BIG MOOD right now dude lol.

"I promise you this will make sense." You're killing me Loki PLEASE DON'T KISS HER

ANSWER THE PHONE

STOP YELLING RANDOM DUDE IN MY BUILDING, EVERYTHING'S OKAY (FOR NOW)

FUCK YES DO IT, OB

ALSO THANK GOD NO KISS YET

This man is still yelling and it's been like 3-5 minutes.

I AGREE WITH LOKI AND SYLVIE LOL

YEAH DIE BITCH

OH SHIT I WAS GONNA FUCKING SAY NOT AGAIN BUT SHE SAID HER PIECE HOLY SHIT

GET HIM

YES

YES FUCKING DIE

Thanks V

TELL HIM LOKI

NO TIMELY I WANT LOKI TO TELL MOBIUS AND I DON'T TRUST YOU THAT MUCH

AND LOKI'S FOR SURE A FASTER RUNNER

I DON'T LIKE THAT WE THINK WE'RE GONNA FIGURE OUT-- FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

OH NO

NOOOOOOOOO IT'S THE SHOT NOOOOOOOO

WAIT WAIT DID HE TIME SLIP OR TURN INTO BLACK HOLE SPAGHETTI [Pretty sure it's the second one]

wait. Why are there pictures of the episode including the last scene in the files at the TVA? (I know it's the credits but I'm choosing to accept it as canon)

It all comes down to Brad I guess??

I. Need to go like. Stare at a wall for a little bit or something.

[spy-flair-extraordinaire]

Spy Kids: Armageddon second trailer!!

New trailer already? Not that I'm complaining.

So I just watched the next Spy Kids: Armageddon trailer, which also looks good! I do have a worry or two though.

I also recorded my first time reaction via OBS, and recorded the screen this time, and it still won't let me upload to Tumblr.. just wasn't meant to be, I guess. So once again we're doing an analysis post instead. The trailer's a little longer though, so this post is gonna be longer too.

If you're curious about my thoughts on the teaser trailer, you can check it out here!

I forgot to mention last time (mostly bc I wanted to know if it was true or not) that the new siblings' names are Patty and Tony, and their parents are Nora and Terrence. Rodriguez once again continues the tradition of naming the main characters after his family, though this time he named a character after himself! Kinda. Patty is named after his sister Patricia Vonne, and Tony is named after his middle name Anthony, and he went by Tony a lot as a kid.[source]

So first thing we see is Tony attempting to play a game without getting caught. That worries me. Why are games off-limits? That does not always go well.

Ayy, a Switch Lite! :D

Also this game looks like it could be an MMO.

Armageddon code? OK, so we're doing something different with the "Armageddon" naming this time compared to the Armageddon Device.

Why are there see-through safes for the Switch Lites?? Even the parents have one! Should I be worried??

When your parents say your full first name and not your nickname, that's how you know you're in trouble.

Ha! 😆 OK that was pretty funny.

Yeah, something tells me Patty and Tony are gonna be like the Gumball and Anais of Spy Kids.

Wait, the power is going off now? Is the Armageddon Code the Transmooker all of a sudden??

That is literally what happens in Spy Kids 2! Or at least in its novelisation.

Yeaaahh, these two definitely didn't help cause the problem, noooo no no, why would you suspect them? 🤭

Oooohh, is that what these guys are? They're video game enemies! OK, that makes sense. Yeah, I knew the video game aspect had to come in at some point.

So in this film, instead of the parents going away and getting captured and an uncle figure sending the kids away or an AI leading them away, the parents send the kids away themselves and get captured in the process. It does explain one of the promotional film stills. Yeah, doesn't look like there's gonna be a new uncle or aunt figure this time. Or maybe there will be? I could be wrong.

OK, so they're going with a different sort of surrealism this time, especially with the jail cell. In the first film, one of the inspirations for the first film's wacky, whimsical surrealism of Floop's castle was Antoni Gaudí.[source] This time they went with more geometric surrealism.

Oh shoot, this is a safe house!! Awesome!! 😃

Doesn't look as cozy as the original safe house though. Sorry to say.

OOOOOH, A TRAINING COURSE!!

Did we ever see a training course in the original films? I mean, the Cortez family have a workout room that I guess counts as a training course (it was used to get the kids ready for when a time like the events of Spy Kids happens). Spy Kids: Mission Critical is when we've actually seen a training course by the OSS for spies. It's really cool to see a training course the Spy Kids can train on yet again!

Also, I like your enthusiasm, Tony! X) Better than the "I'm gonna be a better spy than my step-mother!" remark last film.

The tradition of the main boy character getting hit by stupid things continues!

"Spy Suit Generator"? XD Ha! I like that, actually! Brings another new thing to the series. It also explains the fog. Though are we still getting those "let's suit up" montages?

OK so, the plane is also a boat (or is it a seaplane?), but it's separate from the car, maybe. Gotcha. I love that it still looks like a toy, not unlike the RX Express plane.

"Magna Boots"? Ooo~. Is that what the name of these shoes are. Very on the nose!

Wow, the trailer's showing the kids freeing their parents, way to spoil the whole movie! /j

Nah, this is a family movie, of course they're gonna free their parents, what did you expect? Besides, the trailers for Spy Kids 1 also showed the kids freeing their parents. Kinda (it's actually two completely different scenes edited together to look like a rescue). So it's not that big of a deal than, say, the Ruby Gillman: Teenage Krakken trailers that did spoil everything (seriously, just let the creators put together trailers for their own movie! Rodriguez did!)

Don't worry, I don't blame you for experiencing VR, it can make people nauseous. /hj

This is new.

But also, see, Spy Kids 3? You can have the entire family in a video game without capturing or "elsewhere"ing them or reduce them to cameos! /hj

Oooohhh, myyyy Gooood!! This is a beautiful shot! 👀

And here we have the main villain, Rey "The King" Kingston! Now what are you gonna be like, my guy? Definitely note-taking from the Toymaker, I see.

SURPRISE!

🎵Sail away, sail away, sail away🎵

Whoa! The skeletons were moving in a stop-motion-like manner, ala Jason and the Argonauts! That's a neat reference to both that and Spy Kids 2. Animating technology sure has improved.

What a way to end the trailer, huh?

"Only on Netflix September 22nd" Oh frick, the movie is in 11 days already?? Sheesh, that was quick, I better mark my calendar!

So once again, this trailer has gotten a very contentious response from people. For me, I'm still excited to see this when it comes out! (though I may or may not watch it outside of Netflix, cough)

My hopes from my previous post seem to be holding up: - They seem to be getting creative with the gadgets again! - No title puns or fart jokes were said at all in the trailer, so far, so we may still be safe. - Tony and Patty's chemistry is pretty funny so far, reminding me of Gumball and Darwin's chemistry with Anais (from The Amazing World of Gumball). - The villain and the enemies look fun. Can't wait to see what they bring! - The parents seem fun so far, even if I would've preferred other actors to portray Nora and Terrence than.. the actors that we got instead..

What are your thoughts on the trailer and hopes for Spy Kids: Armageddon? Once again, please let me know! ^^

[tau-i]

I need a real screenshotting tool. I've been using a simple alias to take images from the screen:

Solutions that wrap these two commands called in just this way are very common in Sway, but calling them in a Fish function like this can cause issues. Firstly, I always need a spare terminal to run the command: I can't invoke it through bemenu, (which is what I use as a launcher), for example.

And since I have way, way too much work to do on this OS, I also want to avoid home-rolling a more complicated solution. I don't particularly want to maintain yet another component. Things barely work as is. That said, while I'm looking into this, it would be awesome if I could grab a screencast solution. I'm looking into OBS already, and having something a bit slicker would be cool. (I'm setting aside the idea of building out a script that automates getting OBS set up for a video, and just binding it to something relevant for now)

I'm starting my investigation in the screencasts section of awesome-wayland since I can't keep on the path I set out for myself under any circumstances. You know, before writing this, my plan was to CAD up a tool? Then I ran into a bug, which I wanted to record, so I downloaded OBS, then while trying to get the video edited in blender I found something I wanted to screenshot so GPT can take a look at it...

Anyways, they list several tools, and also name the interfaces they use to do their jobs, copied here for posterity as it appears at time of writing:

You'll have to excuse the mediocre image quality. If I could take a better screenshot, we wouldn't be going down this rabbit hole in the first place. I ASSUMED tumblr allowed HTML tables but no...

Now, it seems that the wlr-screencopy-unstable-v1(docs)/wlr-output-management-unstable-v1(docs) protocol referenced repeatedly here is a hair out of date. Apparently, about three months ago, it was supplanted by ext-image-capture-source-v1 (docs) and ext-image-copy-capture-v1 (docs) as mentioned by This article. The guy responsible has a great blog post on his hard work, which is a good read. (Andri Yngvason) So the next question is has anyone moved fast enough to implement the new ones? On the pull request it looks like nobody has. Unless, of course, they're wrapping grim, which has implemented the protocol.

While looking into these, I found out about some sites that try to format the Wayland docs in a way that's actually a real pleasure to explore:

- Wayland Explorer

- Hoyon.github.io

I'll probably be taking a closer look once I start to properly explore Freedesktop and all the stuff they're up to.

That said, let's make a breif diversion to check on if SWAY itself actually implements these protocols. I use swayfx version 0.4, which is based on sway 1.9.0, and uses wlroots 0.17.0. The main issue, however, is that none of that matters because the merge request to wlroots itself is still open... So it's not clear that ANY tools currently support it. I'd have to make a custom build of swayfx, based on a custom sway build, based on a custom wlroots build... Yeesh. Guess that explains why the screenshotting utilities don't support it yet. I also was able to verify that Swayfx currently supports screencopy_manager by finding it in the output of the wayland-info utility command, which I discovered just now.

The ones that stick out to me the most are the rust based ones, since I hope to learn rust soon, it would be nice to be able to tinker. While I'm not totally unfamiliar with C and C++, I don't do much work there, so I'm a little more hesitant. Between the two of them, Kooha looks very polished and sleek, while wl-screenrec seems to be a straightforward terminal tool that can take input from slurp for area selection. Unfortunately, out of the box, wl-screenrec doesn't really meet my needs, as it would still require a terminal window, or at least mucking around with commands. If I were looking for a project at this time, a pretty GUI wrapped around wl-screenrec or a fork would probably be a pretty quick and fun project. But, no! Bad Author! No more side-projects!

Also worth considering is scripting OBS. I've already accepted that while OBS is THE framework of choice for this sort of thing, a OBS app is out of scope. Still, it seems that chatGPT at least believes that OBS has the full set of automation available: Natively, it has command line arguments which seem less extensive than chatGPT believed. But since it is able to run selected scripts on startup, this is less of a problem than I first assumed. It supports python and lua scripting, and if push comes to shove, I could probably build out a full extension.

Anyways, back to the options.

- Kooha, as discussed, is a polished looking screen recorder that I think would work quite well for me.

- ssr-wlroots is a old fork of SimpleScreenRecorder with "Minimal support for wlroots-based Wayland Compositors". It was last updated five years ago. A abandoned project that only claims 'minimal' support is... not great.

- Wayfarer is oriented around support for GNOME, even going so far as to use the "vala" language. Which I'd never heard of, but it seems tightly coupled to that project. It does support wlroots, and have a perfectly adequate UI, with nice options. I wonder if Elementary OS uses it? Honestly, though, I'd be worried about it pulling in a pile of GNOME dependencies.

- WayRec is built off of KDE, and seems slightly abandoned, the last update was three years before publishing.

- wf-recorder is a terminal-based recorder that seems similar to wl-screenrec, but is written in C++. It is somewhat actively maintained, with last commit 2 months ago.

- wl-mirror is not meant to be a standard screen recorder, rather to be a output mirror, for cases like putting your screen on a projector.

- wlrobs is not a full screen recorder either, rather it is a OBS extension to help record Wayland compositors. on a unrelated note, OBS worked for me without explicitly installing this, so I'm curious what it does. Maybe it has better performance than what I'm using right now? It's present in "obs-studio-plugins.wlrobs.out" in nix.

- Finally, we have wl-screenrec, a Rust-based terminal recorder compatible with area selection through slurp. It has hardware acceleration for at least intel and AMD graphics, and seems to view that as its edge over wf-recorder. It has some performance data that proposes that it is more efficient than wf-recorder specifically, which is cool.

Wayrec and Wayfarer are actually not in nixpkgs, which is another strike against them, but everything else is available.

After installing, it turns out that as much as I'd like Kooha, it doesn't work out of the box. My best guess is in all this mess, I never actually checked that the ScreenCast protocol actually works on my machine at the moment. Probably, I only support the lower level wayland options, which means that wl-screenrec is my only real option. I might try wf-recorder to see if it really is that much worse, but for now...

🤷

Anyways, the real issue is I really wanted a GUI. So I have only succeeded in ensuring I have to roll my own solution after all. oor, I could try looking through a list of tools that is actually maintained like the one I only found at the END of all this at sway wiki, as opposed to the awesome-wayland list I've been using, which is archive only. And I didn't realize until this far in the post. Well, all the tools on that page are for a future exploration.

[astralartefact]

Anyways, let me talk about Jeuno for a second

I did another run for fun and because I already got my drop for the week I left my room at the end for a minute to do something. When coming back I realized I forgot to pass on the pieces I couldn't get anyways. Mortifying.

Can we keep Prishe. Can we just. Give them Alisaie or something. Prishe at least has the decency to call someone names.

#1 Raid Mechanics

I think this is the exact right difficulty I want them at, they're chaotic (well...) they're visually impactful and not just in a cutscene that halts the entire momentum for no good reason (direct eye contact with Nald'thal) (both of them) and they're not going to be boring the second time you do them because each boss only has 3 (relatively) basic mechanics that immediately loop in the exact same way you've already seen them in (Thaleia; exception being Llymi)

Because as much as I think they could go further I was just stuck for 30? Minutes at Shadowlord - which I find is easier than the Ark Angels, the biggest difficulty is that the cleaves are kinda weird - and this is just not the content for something even more involved. That's why they're doing Chaotic after all.

Special Shout Out to the Ark Angel HM mechanic where you have to kite him. That's so goddamn funny.

#2 The German Dub

I did my for fun run with german voice over to hear how the Prishe from the trailer turns out in the game and well...

She's amazing. The voice actress nailed the assignment. Please set your voice over to german for her fight even just once (you can just do that in-game in the system options in the instance, you don't need to download new data for that or reload or something) because you too can learn the power of SCHMACKES!!!!

If I figure out OBS for next week's gear run I'll record her and post it here, because I'm a fan and I need you to be too (the one thing I miss about playing on PS4 is quick record ._. can just click a button and save the last few minutes of whatever you did. kind of weird that they actively record what you're doing but so convenient)

Anyways, I ended up doing the entire run in german and I have to say, the entire raid's german va work is pretty good! I really liked Bakool Ja Ja's Voice Actors, they are a bit more your usual stiff german Anime/Video Game Voice Acting, same with the Ark Angels, but it's not stiff enough to be weird or anything.

Now Shadow Lord however. That guy.

After doing the fight to about 80% three times in a row I have to say I really like the voice actor's performance, it's definitely a different direction than the other languages but he really sells it.

#3 I found my new (second) least favorite thing about FFXIV my least favorite thing is still Myths of the Realm, fuck eulogia

This is a Shard Metaphysics Tangent.

I hate it. I don't know what they're thinking they're doing with it but I don't care anymore, it's something I roll my eyes at whenever they feel the need to go pseudo-scientific deep lore about it because they can pretend all they want, it does not make sense anymore because of weird mini retcons nobody asked for that weren't even necessary.

Imagine doing this whole cutscene in Shadowbringers where you show us exactly what happened to which shard in which order and then instead of working with what you establish there you bring it up after two expansions but now everything is labeled differently to conform with whatever whim you thought up and you just act like that's not weird at all - and not only that you also condescend to me about how look, it actually has to be this way because there's this other vague lore rule that we arbitrarily decided is more important. What, don't you know the lore? If you paid attention you would know we said this! what do you mean "other stuff"?

What fun to imagine that! Am I glad I cared about what you wrote when putting together my OC Lore in satisfyingly canon-abiding ways!

Minor Spoiler for Interphos EX, but since the ground in the Ice Phase is once again a Roman Numeral (making Wind -> X / 10, Earth -> II / 2, Ice -> III / 3) it does very much imply that those are the shards Sphene is connecting with (unless nobody in development noticed that the ground shapes are all numbers in which case... okay). Problem is of course that that doesn't make any fucking sense from any direction because the 2nd Shard succumbed to a Fire Calamity, the 3rd to Earth and the 10th to Water - and - the 2nd Calamity was Lightning (which was on the 12th) and the 3rd Fire (10th doesn't exist so don't know why I brought it up).

It's kind of impressive they didn't even manage to hit one of those.

But even pretending that Graha just labeled his Shard Power Point wrong and the Calamities are just in another order and on different shards it still doesn't make any sense because Alexandria being the Ninth and not the Twelfth is from a writing perspective - hopefully because otherwise the only reason for doing that is "Look, FF9" and that's a really stupid reason to upend your lore for - solely built around the "fact" that the Rejoinings leave nothing behind... but if Alexandria is from the 9th because LM can't be in the 12th "since it's rejoined" how is Sphene connecting to the Elemental Nothings of 2, 3 and 10, which are all Rejoined and therefore shouldn't exist anymore? So what you're saying is that there is a Twelfth Lightning Nothing that Living Memory could have been in!? So why ruin the Ninth with a Failed Rejoining you never mentioned before instead of just making this easy on everybody??? Ugh, I hate it.

Anyways. The reason I bring this up is that they're clearly setting up Vana'diel's place in this world building mess since they talk about it a bunch to set up the mystery they will presumably solve at some point and they show the ruins of Amaurot in that one Shadow Lord Attack (i'm assuming? it looks like ruined amaurot and what else should it be) to tie it all together - and I'm somewhat concerned about that because they made it very clear that despite what we're seeing of it being "fake" (we'll get to it) it still all comes from actual FF11 Vana'diel - and making FF11 a shard after all of the "The Shards are just mangled copies of the Source/Sundered World" you ended up doing would be so disrespectful. Like, no, you cannot do that, the things that would do to stuff like Altana and Promathia. The only thing of the sort I will accept is if Vana'diel is the sundered world in the far far far far far far faaar flung past - which would make Shadow Lord prevailing to stand in Amaurot's crumbling ruins even more metal btw - otherwise do not make Vana'diel involved with the Shards in any way shape or form!!!! DON'T DO IT.

#4 The NieR of it all

That's a Shadowlord Reference, right. This looks like Amaurot but Snow in Summer. They made a NieR reference, right. They connected the two Shadow Lords :)

Well... It's more likely than you think.

I want to boldly predict that this story line was written by the person who wrote Mamook (who I previously theorized to be Megumi Onozuka and who I assume was involved with Y:DA which means she know her stuff and is NieR-adjacent) and I want to be right about that because I want to be that person's biggest fan, I want to curse their name in delight when nobody else does

I get why people wouldn't be keen on them establishing that the Walks are just copies made of Electrope instead of just making the Eleventh a Return-to-Ivalice-esque Vana'diel or something where whatever's happening here won't disturb the original world. As established above I'm not particularly keen on it either but if this is going where I think it's going I think it could be an amazing idea and worth wobbling the lore for.

First of all, I think this is an Isekai. I think Alxaal is a Player. Not a player character, a Player - Prishe makes a clear distinction he isn't the PC of FF11 she knew - which is important because I think these memory constructs aren't built on the actual "facts" of FF11 which just happen to invoke Memories of the players but literally on the Player's Memories of them, all of their subjectivities included. Like, this is not just FF11 Prishe, this is basically the collective unconscious version of Prishe constructed through the audience of FF11 - which at the end of the day is what she is if this isn't directly written by the writers who wrote her.

But that's not the exciting part to me, that's not why this is the NieR part of this post. The reason for that is that doing that they set up a situation where we pose the worth our memories of what happened against the facts of what happened. They literally start a thing about Prishe having to figure out what she's worth knowing that she is a copy - but with this added nuance it becomes "What is this version of Prishe, the Prishe someone remembered, worth if she isn't the "Real" Prishe?" - and that feels very NieR to me, especially since looking at FF11 and FF14 it's a very topical discussion to have.

Compared to "normal" RPGs both FF11 and 14 are uniquely in the position of also providing a sandbox for players to make memories in - memories that the developers haven't planned in the form they can plan story moments and the like. This would be a very interesting way to acknowledge that - and affirm that those memories, that "subjective" view of Vana'diel (and Eorzea for that matter), is just as real as the factual version the developers created. And I think that's a really neat thing for a cross-over of 11 and 14 in particular to be about, since it is something only these two share among the other Final Fantasies.

In a similar vein both of these games are inevitably going to "end." Even if they somehow get an offline version that version will be different, the "original" FF11 will not exist once the servers are shutdown - and honestly it already doesn't exist anymore since playing FF11 nowadays is a whole different beast from playing FF11 back in the day. "What is this version of Prishe, the Prishe someone remembered, worth if she isn't the "Real" Prishe?" can just as well be about that.

So with all these thoughts bubbling in my head I'm very excited to see where they're heading with this.

I just really hope they don't pull a Myths of the Realm on me again and end this with the stupidest conclusion anyone could ever come to, maybe something like us having to delete our Prishe specifically because she's not the real one. As always, fuck eulogia.

Also, just to say it if that is what they were trying to do with that Shadow Lord attack above, I really love the idea of people that played FF11 and NieR using their chance to connect the two, even if it's just because of the name. Like now you can say "Oh yeah, 14's FF11 Shadowlord kind of has a NieR reference attack" and FF14 people did that. I think stuff like that is neat :)

[tastyguava]

Hey guys, it's TastyGuava, and welcome back to another video! In today's video, I decided to finally give in and play the extremely popular mod for Minecraft, Pixelmon! This is Pixelmon Reforged bringing the classic Pokémon in Minecraft experience from the early 2010s into modern versions of Minecraft! We are also playing on my friend Kace's Pixelmon server! If you'd like to join in on the fun, join my Discord server down below and select "I like Pixelmon! 🐢" from the What do you want to do in this community? menu! 💻 My Website & Socials - https://ift.tt/noI2gEi 💖 SUPPORT THE CHANNEL ──────────── ⭐ Access videos before they release publicly, and view unlisted content! Memberships start at $0.99: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzMnPNvzaVMFRdMml-PdTyQ/join 💎 Get notified when new episodes release: https://youtube.com/TastyGuava?sub_confirmation=1 📩 JOIN MY DISCORD ──────────────── You can join my Discord through my website at https://tastyguava.com or by heading to https://ift.tt/mEqDgLy 🎙️ CHECK OUT MY PODCAST ─────────── My TastyTalks podcast is available on all major platforms by visiting https://ift.tt/RnODcWI and https://youtube.com/@tastytalks 🎥 CHECK OUT MY LIVESTREAMS ──────── 📹 Twitch - https://ift.tt/dfBxXPM 📺 OTHER CHANNELS ──────────────── 🤳🏽 Vlogging - https://youtube.com/@MoreGuava 🎬 Highlights - https://youtube.com/@GUAVAminus 😆 More Gaming - https://youtube.com/@GUAVAplus 🎵 MUSIC FEATURED ──────────────── 🎵 StreamBeats - https://ift.tt/ZuK0nWB 🎵 PM Music - https://pmmusic.pro/ 🎵 NoCopyrightSounds - https://ncs.io/ 🎵 The Nations - https://nations.io/ 🎞️ WORK FEATURED ──────────────── Animations & Designs By arialfx: https://youtube.com/@arialfx https://arialfx.com/ Animations & Designs By EnzeeFX: https://youtube.com/@EnzeeFX https://ift.tt/qz2Y5K3 Animations & Designs By SharkFX: https://youtube.com/@SharkFXYT https://ift.tt/5Zn6Rqz If your work is featured and not credited in the description: Visit https://ift.tt/R7uKgqU 🖥️ TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS ───────── ⌨️ Keyboard - HyperX Alloy Origins Core TKL (Aqua Switches) 🖱️ Mouse - ROCCAT Kone Aimo (3200DPI 11% Sensitivity) 🎤 Microphone - AT2020USB+ 🎞️ Editing - VEGAS Pro 20.0 | Davinci Resolve 18 | After Effects 2023 🎨 Thumbnails - Adobe Photoshop CC 2022 🔴 Recording - MEDAL & OBS Studio 🎮 Gameplay - Minecraft (Pixelmon Reforged) Find a complete list of parts and where to buy them on my website: https://ift.tt/JfICLcy Thank you for reading to the end of the description! 😁 #minecraft #pixelmon #pokemon by TastyGuava

[geaesaekki]

"Change jobs?" She scoffs, almost bitterly, swirling the liquid in her glass. "If I do, at least I wouldn’t spend my days chasing secret sex clubs and corrupted bastards." The corners of her mouth twitch in a half attempt at a smile. "But that’s all I ever learned how to do: chase shitty guys and throw them behind bars." Her tone softens for a moment. Even in another life, she would always be this—a cop, a lone wolf. It’s who she is, no matter how hard she tries to bury that truth. When Felicity speaks, her words resonate with Mara. "Working for him is the best way to ruin him." The detective taps her fingers rhythmically on the table, eyes narrowing as her mind begins to map out the next moves. La Rose is just the immediate target—there’s a bigger game at play, the domino effect on this one will be crazy, and she knows it. “You know," Mara says, her voice low, contemplative, "taking down La Rose is just the tip of a massive iceberg. Once it's in the press, it’ll drag him, your boss, down with it. Sooner or later, that bastard will get what’s coming to him. All of them will.” Her mind races with possibilities—leverage, blackmail, exposure, witch hunt, it's goingt obe fun. It all starts with breaking into La Rose’s inner circle though. That’s the key. Her fingers drum faster on the table. "My final goal as a detective is simple," she says, her voice hardening with resolve. "I need enough evidence to make sure they fall. Pictures, videos, money transactions, recorded conversations. The type that will get shared on twitter and shake the country. But there's one major problem: a society like this? It got ties to the governement and to the police that is for sure. I can’t make a move until I have irrefutable proof. Otherwise, they’ll silence me. Or worse." She pauses. "Our chief of police isn’t corrupt, thank God. He’s the one who blew the lid on the Burning Sun scandal. Didn’t take a single bribe, stood firm. He’s an asset. But everyone under him? It’s a different story. Our Chief, he isn't a man of shit and giggles though, he plays by the rules. I will only come to him when half of the job and I can convince him what I got my hands on is solid enough to be worth the war or else, I get suspended for the... mm.. liberty I took on this case. Some things I did aren't so legal." She takes another sip, her gaze sharpening. “Tomorrow’s meeting, mmm... You’re not going to get close to any of the main players without drawing attention. They’ll smell something off. But staff ? Like .. the secretary? They’re closer to the bottom of the ladder. No secretary works for a crazy place like La Rose unless they’re being forced, threatened, blackmailed to keep their mouth shut. Here is his profile." Speaks Mara, unfolding the profile she has prepared for Felicity in a folder. "Lee Jongin. 35 years old. Used to work as an accountant in a small firm in Gangnam and now exclusively at La Rose. No wife, no kids. I could access all this information due to him not covering his back the same way one of the main players would but at the same time, he is a nobody, who would look into him? He has been there for years now, he will be useful to at least know the ins and outs, the habits of the main players, their likings, their schedules, who gets an invite or not as well, he is the one in charged of printing them. ”

[lay-z]

Lieblingsmensch | könig x f!reader

Summary: As much as he appreciates being assigned to TF-141, he hates being the new guy. Luckily, there is one person who seems to get him. Pairing: König x f!Reader Warnings/Info: Reader is German | König's POV | social anxiety; awkwardness; humor; strangers to friends to lovers; pining; some hurt/angst; comfort; FLUFF

They talk a lot, most of them at least. They're trying to be friendly and welcoming, but his transfer to Task Force-141 has been harder than any mission he's been on so far.

König dislikes changes and interacting with people outside of his military comfort zone. He doesn't get social interactions, they make him anxious, so meeting new people proofs challenging every damn time.

It's not their fault though, he knows he's the problem; always is, and has been. There are reasons for his behavior and his intrusive thoughts, but he'll keep those to himself forever.

Captain Price means well when he introduces every member to him, one by one.

König forces a smile, an affirmative nod here and there, but meanwhile, he is sweating bullets without wearing his face cover. He feels so naked, so vulnerable without it, and people stare so much.

How do they have no problem keeping eye contact?

And then... there's you.

You somehow slip through and manage to avoid the introduction round altogether.

Price waves it off and lets you pass, and König wishes he could obtain whatever secret agreement you have with the Captain to avoid social interactions from now on.

"Don't mind it. She's a little antisocial, but nice if she lets you get to know her," Price tells him then, and that's it.

No more information about you.

Fair enough. You don't need to become his best friend; he's more than fine keeping a respectful distance anyway.

But within the next weeks, he notices how you behave around the rest of the members, your colleagues and teammates.

How you joke and laugh with Soap and the others, hold meaningful conversations with Price, spar and train with Ghost, and share lunch with Gaz nearly every day.

After another brief time of simply observing from afar, it's like a sucker-punch to his gut when König realizes how he longs for a connection like that... with you; how much he wants to be part of something like that.

One day, he's sitting on a bench in the corner of the base gym while the large punching bag in front of him keeps swinging on its chains.

His arms are sore from throwing punches, his right shoulder throbs with pain again. The bed in his room is far too small for his size and he has slept in a weird position.

"...wenn ich Glück hab, schaff ich's an Ostern nach Hause zu kommen‒"

His ears perk up at the familiar sound of his mother tongue echoing off the walls.

"...kann ich noch nicht genau sagen. Kommt ja drauf an ob ich die Tage frei bekomme‒"

Are you the one talking? Who are you talking to? Family?

He can't see you with all the gym gear and boxing/sparring ring in the way, and while the voice is without a doubt female, voices change with different languages, just the way his voice does whenever he speaks English or German.

Although it doesn't really matter what language he speaks, König doesn't like the sound of his own voice, no matter what. Especially on recordings. The thought alone is enough to make him cringe internally.

He starts fidgeting on the bench, closes the lid on the empty bottle of water in his hand, and ponders if he should take a peek, if he should risk catching someone's attention. His is already clenching even before he moves.

"Ja, sag Mama ich melde mich morgen bei ihr. Hab' noch was zu tun und wenn ich alles erledigt habe, wird sie schon schlafen‒"

It feels wrong to sneak up on you. Plus, he's technically eavesdropping on a private conversation. His heart starts racing in his chest, thudding violently against his ribcage.

He should leave, but he doesn't.

"Kann ich dir irgendwie helfen?" ("Can I help you?")

He nearly jumps out of his skin when you appear behind him suddenly. You have your arms crossed and an eyebrow raised appraisingly as you seize him up. König is taller than you, much taller (because he somehow always is), but right now, he really doesn't feel like it. His tongue feels twisted in his mouth as he fumbles with his next words.

"Du sprichst doch Deutsch, oder nicht?" ("You do speak German, no?")

König nods slowly and clears his throat awkwardly while he tries to hold your merciless gaze. Gosh, Germans always stare so much.

"I‒ I do... I mean ‒" he stutters and then sighs in defeat as he twists the empty plastic bottle in his mammoth hands, making it crinkle audibly. He feels some beads of sweat trickle down his temple and the back of his neck, and he rubs them away awkwardly as it starts to tickle.

"Äh, j‒ja... Ich spreche Deutsch." ("Uh, y‒yes...I do speak German.)

The corner of your mouth twitches and then you smile at him and it doesn't look... like you're mocking him, at all, and then something flutters in his chest at the sight of your smile.

"Hm, gut zu wissen." ("Huh, good to know.")

That's all you response before another smirk ghosts over your lips, and then, you turn on your heels, leaving König to his own terms again, who doesn't know what to make of the whole interaction.

Aren't you mad at him for eavesdropping and being nosy? Don't you think he's a creep? A weirdo?

"Huh." He hums to himself as he watches you leave the gym after grabbing your bag from the floor.

All he knows is that you're way more intimidating up close, you speak his mother tongue,

and he'd like to talk to you again.

It feels a little bit like home whenever König hears you speak German or, lord have mercy on him, you do decide to initiate conversation and talk to him.

You already knew that he's from Austria; Price probably told you, and in return, you tell him you're from West Germany.

You share your German goodies with him whenever you get a care package from home. Candy and foods from your hometown close to the border of the Netherlands.

König always listens intently whenever you explain something to him; a word in your dialect that he doesn't know, a place you've been to on your travels, a random story from one of the many missions you've been on.

Everything on your own accord.

You don't mind that he's quiet; never push his buttons too much or make him uncomfortable on purpose, and he appreciates it more than he could ever put into words.

"Du hast einen Akzent wenn du Deutsch sprichst. Man hört, dass du aus Österreich kommst," you tell him at some point and to his horror, it makes him blush. ("You do have an accent when you speak German. One can hear you're from Austria.)

You chuckle softly when he turns his head away, averting his eyes to hide the pink hue on his cheeks.

"Ich find's süß." ("I think it's cute.") You admit, adding fuel to the fire and he blushes even harder.

At some point, the other's take notice of the way your friendship has developed. You spend less time with Soap and Gaz in between work, you've started training with König instead of your Lieutenant, and Price keeps teaming you up with the Austrian on missions.

"You two work well together." Is the Captain's only explanation, though one can easily see the mirthful twinkle in the superior's eyes.

The team teases him for that, especially Soap, but you're always there to defend him if things start escalating. It's like you notice whenever he gets overwhelmed and uncomfortable. You're just that observant when it comes to him, always.

So much so that it makes König wonder...

Another day, you sit next to him during lunch and often times, you don't even greet him first. You simply sit down next to him, your elbow brushing his biceps whenever you lift your cutlery while you two eat in comfortable silence.

König enjoys your company. Perhaps even a little too much, and it gets to a point where he starts longing for it, because he's lonely and awkward, and you just know how to handle him so well.

Like an instinct of yours, you get his mood, his thoughts, his feelings with one simple glance at his exposed face; a face he doesn't mind showing anymore, as long as if it's in your proximity.

"Ich kann verstehen, wieso du die Maske trägst, aber rein optisch gesehen brauchst du sie gar nicht." ("I understand why you're wearing the mask, but from a purely visual point of view, you don't need it at all.")

König passes your comment off as you being sarcastic, you said it so nonchalantly after all, and he simply laughs about it. He's heard worse about his appearance in his childhood. Then again, he doesn't miss the look you shoot him, the slight pout on your lips, when he waves you off like that. There's just no way you'd give him a compliment like that.

No one ever has before.

Sometimes you even text him before starting a verbal conversation.

Texting comes easier to him; he feels comfortable enough to tell you that himself. You pick up on it immediately. He tells you personal stuff, lets you be part of his thought processes and it's easy. You don't ask unnecessary questions, you don't push him, only when you need to, and then you're direct, but not insensitive.

"Alles gut?" ("You alright?")

It's a meaningful question yet so simple and honest, because it's you who's asking him.

No one understands what you're saying. A quick, short question. König nods when the answer is yes, but he also nods when the answer is no until you tell him that you can tell whenever he's lying.

So, König stops lying to you, because you apparently truly care about him and lying to you feels useless and unnecessary, anyway.

And it actually lessens his anxiety whenever he's around you, until he realizes that this platonic, comfortable friendship bubble he's been carefully crafting around you two for months, has suddenly been pricked and popped by his own damn selfish feelings.

How can someone keep sabotaging their own life like that?

Everything is different afterwards, and König cannot help himself but overthink every little interaction with you from that point on.

There isn't much he hates more than overthinking, because it ruins things, and he cannot mess this up ‒ not with you.

One night, König lies in his bed.

The bedframe is still too tiny to accommodate his massive body, the mattress too soft for his back and the blanket too short to cover him completely, but he keeps enduring it, because it's easier than asking for a bed that'd actually fit his size.

König didn't leave his room all day and despite him trying to distract himself with his comfort shows, his mind keeps wandering to you.

He keeps checking his phone, checks it again. The message he has sent you is still left unread in your chat; it's a stupid meme and when he'd tried to delete it before, it didn't work.

König knows that you're out with friends and you did actually invite him to tag along, but he'd declined like the fool he is and now he's regretting it.

Why can't he just be normal for once?

If he was normal and not this terribly socially awkward, he could be with you right now.

What if another guy, an extroverted, confident one, comes up to you to flirt? What if he offers to buy you a drink? Hell, what if you accept?!

His stomach twists, his chest tightens, his heart clenches, and König knows he really is in deep trouble now.

This deeply-rooted feeling of helplessness, of longing, of unrequited love, pulls him down, makes him choke and leaves him feeling everything and nothing at once.

He fists the all too small blanket in his hands, tries to hold back the tears pricking at the corners of his eyes, even clasps one large hand over his mouth muffle the sob bubbling up in his throat, though it's useless and König ends up crying himself to sleep that night.

He hasn't done that in a while.

The realization of the power you hold over him, knowing that you've managed to steal his heart without even trying, leaves him feeling worse, drained and mentally exhausted.

König tries his best to hide it, but he feels like you already know the moment you lay eyes on him the next morning.

"Du siehst aus als hättest du nicht geschlafen. Hast du geweint? Ist was passiert?" ("You look like you didn't sleep at all. Did you cry? Did something happen?")

König shrugs his broad shoulders in response, shakes his head and pouts like a little boy who had to put back a toy that he'd snuck into the shopping cart, because his mother said no.

He's mad at you‒ no, actually, he's mad at himself. He could never be mad at you.

And then, you shoot him a look that shakes him to his very core; calling him out on his bullshit. You manage to make him crumble with one sharp gaze, but once again, you're too mindful of his feelings. He grits his teeth, swallows down the words forming on the tip of his tongue, because he's too anxious, too scared to spit them out.

Why does he keep standing in his own way?

"Are you mad at me?" You ask him tentatively, biting your lower lip, and he's more than confused to hear you speak English. It's like a stab to his heart and he hates it.

It feels like you're trying to expose‒

Expose what exactly? The special connection he thinks you have with him and only him? Because he has unconsciously claimed you already like the fool he is?

"Niemals." ("Never.") He answers sharply, shaking his head.

You take a step closer and König takes a step back, because he didn't expect that at all. His breath hitches when you reach up to gently grasp his chin as you peer up at him, and then your pretty eyes soften and your thumb nearly brushes his bottom lip.

It makes his knees weak and his heart flutter, and he prays that you don't notice the way he's trembling.

"Deine Augen, König... sie verraten dich immer." ("Your eyes, König... they always betray you.")

His heart skips a beat at your words.

The way you look at him, so vulnerable and gentle‒

How can someone look so radiant, so effortlessly beautiful in the morning?

His mouth goes dry like he ate a bowl of oats without milk and when he inhales to say something, anything to fill the heavy silence, you stop him immediately.

"Du musst es mir nicht sagen, wenn du nicht willst." ("You don't have to say it, if you don't want to.")

But he wants to. Oh Gott, he wants to, he wants to.

So badly.

However, it's the fear of rejection, of losing a friend, one of his only friends, that keeps König from pouring his patched-up heart out to you right this second.

And then, Captain Price walks into the break room, oblivious to the intimate moment happening around him, and it's König who swiftly pulls away from you, driven by his anxiety, ruining the moment once and for all.

He didn’t mean to.

König is a mess after the kitchen incident and there is no way he'll ever be able to fix that.

Confessing his feelings to you would've been easier in hindsight.

How can he possibly apologize for his behavior without explaining the why first?

He cannot lie to you; you're too good at exposing his lies.

A soft knock at his door makes his heart jump and his stomach churn. He's not capable of handling more spontaneous socialization today, unless it has got to do with work. Perhaps he could stay still and act like he's not there, but then another firm few knocks force him to react.

König runs a hand through his short blonde hair and rubs a hand over his neck, self-soothing himself, before he eventually opens the door‒

To find you standing at the threshold.

"Hi ‒" He manages to croak out and his voice cracks embarrassingly so.

"Hey,"

The silence kills him every time, no matter if he's involved in the conversation or not.

Meanwhile, you have your hands behind your back while you shuffle on your feet. It's an odd sight to him, a new one. You look... nervous, awkward even. He's never seen you act like this before.

"Ich, äh, also ich hab mir gedacht... wenn du es nicht sagst, dann sag ich es ‒" ("I, uh, I was thinking... if you're not going to say it, I will ‒")

It's your turn to clear your throat awkwardly and all König wants to do is pull you inside his room, slam the door shut, and hug you close to his chest.

Perhaps then, neither of you has to say it.

"Ich mag dich... sehr gerne." ("I like you... a lot.")

While his heart feels like it's going to explode with happiness and relief, it's breaking simultaneously, because why are you looking away?

You never avoid his eyes. In fact, you're the one who is always forcing eye contact on him as an exercise.

König acts instinctively, though a little clumsy, perhaps.

Always a little too strong, a little too eager, as he pulls you in for a hug.

You giggle when your face is buried into his buff chest and he's sure you can feel his heart thudding violently against his ribcage, though this time, he really doesn't care.

His heart flutters rapidly and an unfamiliar warmth blossoms and spreads through his torso when you stand on your tiptoes to wrap your hands around his neck, pulling him closer while König allows himself to embrace you, too.

"I like you, too." He mutters, nuzzling his crooked nose into your hair.

They can all hear it if they want.

[thathelplesshomeschooler]

humans are space orcs (with magic!) *skillz to pay the billz pt 1*

5wow i have been gone for a hot minute but i think i’m gonna tryn write more on here, but school’s starting up again soon so we’ll see how that actually goes. anyway, without further ado, here is another short story or sum, based on how some people can cook, and how some absolutely cannot

also i had to resist so hard from writing that’s what she said at the end so i will have to console myself with writing it up here.

***

The VIV Narrtor was docked at a WayCenter Station for repairs after a gamma burst from a neutron star had fried nearly all the sensors. As it was the humans had decided to designated this as their “vacation” and had put their money together and were renting a small abode for the duration of the repairs. Not wanting to miss out on any possible research, Drerzii had insisted that he and Tygeria rent the room across the street from the humans. 

And so Tygeria found herself the windowsill with a pair of “binoculars” as the humans called it, in her hand. Currently the humans weren’t doing much, in fact it appeared that only one of them was up and active. Uhris, clad only in his undergarments, was in the sustenance preparation room, making ready the pot of dark, steaming liquid that the humans drank every morning. She and Drerzii had suspected it to be either some sort of religious ceremony or a necessity of their species, much like how the dular always had to eat from a plant native to their planet before they ate anything else or they would die. However, neither of them had mustered the courage to ask the humans. If it was indeed a private matter, it might not be appreciated if they suspected they were being studied so thoroughly. And an angry human was not something Tygeria wanted to see. 

As she observed, the rest of the humans slowly arose from their slumber, except for Taurus. Being the largest of them all, Tygeria suspected that he likely needed more rest than the rest of them in order to move his mass around. She noted her thoughts on a holotablet. 

When she resumed her observations, she noted that Uhris was preparing sustenance, and quite a large amount. He must be feeding the entire group. It was strange she thought, since his records didn’t indicate that he had been trained in sustenance preparation, but he seemed quite adept in his actions. Perhaps he had trained in secret, hoping one day to be employed as a sustenance prepare. These “chefs” apparently were quite coveted in any group. 

The group spent most of the morning hours indoors, but what they were doing exactly Tygeria couldn’t say exactly. They were certainly enjoying themselves at the very least. Around midday Uhris and Enara walked out of the building. Tygeria leaned forward, her interested piqued. “Drerzii, Drerzii! They’re headed this way.” Her carapace tingled with mixed fear and excitement. They’d been found out. Surely the humans would be angry at being spied on. Drerzii rose from his resting state. 

“My dear Tygeria, you surely must be mistaken. The humans-” He stopped as he peered out the window, “Oh. You’re quite right Tygeria. But do calm yourself, I doubt they mean us any harm. Likely their simply curious. Their species’ natural inclement is towards curiosity rather than violence; however, I suppose we should be prepared. There, I have a clear line of communication to command should anything happen.” 

Tygeria appreciated his actions, but her carapace still tingled. A minute later there was a knock on the door. She walked quickly across the room and opened the door. Uhris and Enara stood in the entryway. 

Uhris switched his hand from scratching the back of his head to giving them a little wave. “Uh hey. Anne pointed out that you guys were staying across the street from us, and we all agreed that we couldn’t just let you guys stay here.” It was exactly as Tygeria feared, the humans were angry about being spied on. Drerzii’s flashing colors echoed her fear. “So we- Drerzii you okay? You’re putting on a whole light show my dude.”

“Oh, yes, I’m quite fine. For the time being at least.”

“Erm, yeah, whatever that means. Anyway, we’re about to have lunch, so we wanted to know if you guys wanted to join us. We might do something later, but we haven’t decided what yet.”

Tygeria lowered her head so it was on eye-level with the human. It didn’t make much of a difference to her, what with her infrared vision, but apparently it was a human gesture. “You don’t intend us any harm?”

The two humans looked on in confusion. “N-no? I mean why would we want to hurt you? We just wanted to know if you wanted to eat with us, but if you don’t that’s fine too.”

Tygeria was taken aback. Did they not know? “Because we were obs-”

“Of course we would be delighted to enjoy you for a meal. I unfortunately am unable to consume at the current moment, but I would be delighted to participate in your fellowship.”

“Oh. Great, well you guys can head on over then. Enara and I are just going to get some groceries, but we’ll be back in just a few minutes. The door’s unlocked so just head right in”

And so the humans headed off toward the provisions center of the station while Tygeria and Drerzii made their way to the humans rooms. Upon entering the room they were met with ferocious laughter. The terrifying sound of mirth coming from all three of the humans. Taurus, who apparently was in the middle of a story glanced over towards the door, his predatory eyes moving by pure instinct. He motioned with his hand. “Come on over guys, I was just telling them about when I managed to get a screw jammed up my nose.” It took a few minutes of recap for Tygeria and Drerzii to understand the situation, but it was incomprehnsible why the humans found it so funny.

Uhris and Enara arrived shortly after the story was finished. Both had bags filled with consumables in both hands. Taurus hooted from across the room “Uwu, y’all look like a couple, walking in with your groceries.”

Uhris breathed heavily through his nose, what Tygeria believed was called a “snort.” “If I was Jason maybe we’d be a couple.” At that comment Jason started coughing and Enara’s face grew red. Perhaps, Tygeria thought, this has something to do with them ‘liking’ each other.

“Anyway, we’re going to get started on lunch. Y’all just sit tight. Also Tygeria you should be able to eat this, we got food that’s edible for you too.” She clicked her thanks.

It was very considerate that the humans would use sustenance that she would be able to ingest as well. She was, however, concerned. Among her kind she was known to have rather specific preferences. However she couldn’t risk offending the humans by not eating any sustenance they prepared. But as they worked in the kitchen, her olfactory senses began to tingle. The smells of whatever it was they were making piqued her curiosity. How could one prepare food so that it would have such a smell? Was this some form of communication between human. Perhaps it was just a byproduct of whatever processes they were using to prepare the sustenance. 

She peered over to see both Uhris and Enara moving efficiently through the kitchen, handing each others utensils and ingredients as they worked. Occasionally one of them would take a small utensil and taste some of the sustenance, then make a small adjustment to the ratios of ingredients. Sometimes they would ask each others opinions or hand something off to the other. Tygeria was astonished at the ease with which they hurried through their movements. Uhris placed his creation in the heating unit and turned to the rest of them. “Alright, so this should take just a few minutes to bake, and then we’ll be good to go.”

Taurus set out dishes for everyone to eat on, except for Drerzii, who had declined on account of his metabolic processes not being in service for the time being. Once Uhris had deemed the time to be right, he carefully pulled the sustenance from the heating chamber and placed it upon the table. Enara came from the kitchen and placed what she had prepared next to Uhris’. “Just wait for it to cool down and then go ahead and dig in.”

With a laugh Jason raised his hand, “So what exactly is it that we’re eating.”

Uhris bared his teeth, then quickly changed his expression to be less frightening for Tygeria and Drerzii. “What we have here is a magherita flatbread, made completely by hand, with non-native ingredients. I subbed uthara for tomatoes for both the garnish and the sauce, and used tehari cream instead of cheese. And the crust is, actually I don’t know what it is, it just said it could be substituted on my holotablet. But Enara, tell them what you made.”

“What we have here is a fruit salad, also made with ‘non-native’ ingredients, as Uhri put it. And I put in some of the spices they had at the compound for some added flavor.”

Jason laughed, “So basically we’re having alien pizza and alien fruit salad? This is really gonna be the test guys.” With that he took out the first section of the ‘flatbread’ and took a bite. His eyes opened wide and he made a sound deep in his throat. With a mouth full of food he said, “Oh yeah, thish ish the sh*t you guys.” 

What exactly that meant, Tygeria wasn’t sure, but the rest of the humans began consuming the sustenance, and so Tygeria took one of the squares and took a bite of it herself. Her carapace tingled with delight. The flavors burst in her mouth, sweet and salty combining perfectly. She hummed with delight, this was beyond what she would have imagined the humans to be capable of. She then took a portion of the ‘fruit salad’ and ate some of that as well. It complimented the flatbread in a way that she didn’t know was even possible. She quickly secured another few servings, making sure she would have enough for later on. She would have to savor the taste whenever she had the chance. But she couldn’t help but to hum even more as she continued to feed on it. 

“Well it looks like we have one very happy customer.” Uhri said.

* * *

The rest of the day the group simply stayed indoors and talked about a myriad of subjects. Enara’s skill in the kitchen had come about simply because she liked to cook as a past time. It was, as she said, “A pleasure to see my work put smiles on faces. And even better if I can make the food healthy.” Uhri had apparently worked in his family’s business of making food for special events, something called catering, and had picked up his skills from his years helping around the kitchen. He volunteered to make another meal for dinner, but before he could start Anne stopped him. 

She stepped into the kitchen and turned to him “It’s been a while since I’ve made anything for anyone else, but I’d like to try to make something for you guys.”

Uhri shrugged, “Knock yourself out.” Tygeria was startled by this. Why would Anne hit herself so hard as to knock her unconscious? She was about to raise her concern when Uhri spoke, “I didn’t mean it literally. It’s a human saying, kind of like good luck, or go right ahead.” 

She hummed her acknowledgement, but was still confused as to why anyone would say this. 

Taurus paused, “Wait Anne, I didn’t know you could cook.”

“Well I did live by myself for two years in college. And I got sick of instant ramen after the first semester, so I had to learn.” 

This made sense to Tygeria, humans apparently had to fend for themselves once they reached a certain age. Their parents would assist but for the most part they were on their own. Next to her Drerzii trumpeted with delight. “Why, Tygeria I have been fastidiously taking notes of this whole occasion, and I would like to mull over them with you later. We can see what our thoughts are, but this entire time has been so enlightening.”

A few short minutes later Anne huffed out of the kitchen a steaming platter in her hands. The smell coming from it was just as strong as the one coming from the earlier dishes, but not quite so delectable in nature. Anne plopped it down in the middle of the table and introduced the dish. “It’s a bean casserole, or at least as close as I could get to one with what we have.”

Jason was again the first one to take a bite. He slowly pulled his utensil out of his mouth. Anne beamed, “So, what do you think?”

Jason shook slightly, “It’s definitely something else. You’ve got a real flavor there I’ll tell you that.” He timidly placed another portion in his mouth, shutting his eyes as he did so. 

The others began to eat, and had similar reactions. Slow, and usually taking a drink of water after every bite they had. It was a completely different reaction to what they had before. Before she could take a bite, Drerzii whispered in her ear, “Tell me what it tastes like.” 

So she  put a large portion on her plate, and another large portion in her mouth. If it was anything like the bliss she had tasted earlier she would have to start eating the humans food more often. Unfortunately, it was nothing like what she had eaten earlier. It was as if whatever the flavor was meant to be had become evil and was attacking her mouth. And the way it felt, it was incredibly dry, parching her mouth. She quickly grabbed a cup of water and downed it, trying to suppress the taste and texture. She turned to Drerzii and spoke quietly, not wanting to offend Anne, “It’s awful. I would not recommend trying it.” She looked back to see Anne staring directly at her. Her predatory hearing must have heard Tygeria’s report. 

“Is it actually that bad? I know I might have fudged some of the spices, but was it actually that bad?” 

Tygeria started to panic. How could she tell the human that it was possibly the worst thing she had ever tasted? Humans were easily offended when it came to things they made themselves. It wouldn’t do for her to insult the food. But she could thing of no other honest alternative. Right as she was about to confirm, Taurus spoke. “To be honest Anne, it’s not great. It’s pretty dry and you overdid it with the flavoring. But trust me it’s not as bad as my grandmothers cooking. That was a culinary nightmare. I can at least eat this.” 

Anne nodded, liquid gathering at the bottoms of her eyes. Tygeria tilted her head, she had heard that liquid spilled from humans eyes when they got emotional, and the action even had a name. So she asked, “Are you going to cry?”

Instantly Anne stood straight, and shook her head. “Throw the food away. I’ll just go out and grab something pre-made.” With that she dashed out the door. 

“Did I say something wrong?”

“I mean, yeah, you aren’t really supposed to ask people if they’re going to cry.” Taurus said, “But at least we don’t have to finish the food. God it was disgusting, I thought I was going to throw up.” 

Enara struck him on the shoulder. “Don’t say that, she tried her best.”

“I mean am I wrong?”

Enara raised her hand as if to cuff him again, but slowly let her arm down. “No, not really, it was pretty terrible. I’m going to go find her, but let’s do try to cheer her up when she comes back.” And with that Enara rose and left the room. As soon as she had Uhris spat out a slimy, semi-chewed portion of the food. “That shit was nasty, I couldn’t bring myself to swallow.”

Tygeria wondered how any human could take the risk of attempting to prepare sustenance of the potential for disaster was this, this massacre of the tastebuds.

[ladyseaheart1668]

Endless Summer Book 4: Daughter of Vaanu (Chapter 56)

Description: The Catalysts attempt to return to their lives as River Skye finally comes home.  tagging: @endlesshero1122 @mysteli @feartheendlesssummer @whatmcsaid @tigerbryn11

Chapter 56: Not Over

Alodia

I almost can’t believe how quickly I start to feel better once the fever breaks. The pain, which had felt like some hellish demon with teeth made of red-hot iron gnawing at my lower back, begins to recede within hours. 

“That’s how it tends to go with an infection like this once we find the right antibiotic,” the doctor tells me. “You are fortunate, though. These days, a lot of bacteria have developed resistance to antibiotics. But the infection is responding well to treatment, and all your vitals and your blood work look good. And your daughter appears as healthy as a baby horse. ...I would just like to take a quick look at how you’re healing from the birth if that’s okay.” 

I nod, turning onto my back with Jake’s help as the doctor draws the curtain around the bed. Improved as I am, I know I’m not at full strength yet, because moving still hurts. I guess I must have winced, because the doctor raises an eyebrow in concern as she pulls on a pair of gloves.

“You okay there?” 

“I think so. Guess I’m still pretty sore.” 

“That’s to be expected. You probably won’t feel one-hundred percent for another week or two at least.” 

I draw my knees up and part my thighs while the doctor pulls up a stool at the foot of the bed and lifts the blanket. I keep my attention focused on Jake’s face above me and the pressure of his hand on mine as the doctor carries out her checks. Occasionally, I let my eyes wander around to the multiple bouquets and mylar balloons that have built up over the past couple days, gifts from the Catalysts, Tahira’s team, my aunt and uncle, and Jake and Diego’s parents. 

“Everything is healing beautifully. Stitches should be dissolved by next week. You’re probably going to be feeling pretty tender for a while though.” 

“Yeah, we had the whole tearing conversation with my OB in California some time ago.” 

“Good. If you have any pressing questions regarding the birth and recovery, you can of course ask me, or one of the maternity staff. We can also forward your hospital records to your regular OBGYN.” 

“How long do you think it will be before we can go home?” Jake asks. 

She pulls the blanket back down and stands, peeling off her gloves. “Well, the fact is, we want to get her and your baby out of here ASAP to lower the chances of either of them picking up a secondary infection.” She smiles at me. “Now that the fever’s gone, we’re gonna get you off the drip and onto some oral antibiotics, and we can pretty much start the discharge process immediately.” 

“So soon?” My own question surprises me, but it’s out of my mouth before I realize it’s on the end of my tongue. 

“Believe me, it’s better we get you both out of here.” 

“I know. It’s not that I want to stay here. It’s just...thinking about how we’re going to get home...how soon we can get home…” 

“That’s all taken care of, Princess. Aleister is having Castor and Pollux deep cleaned, and he and Grace are gonna put us up for a few days until Mike gets up here from Santo Domingo. Diego and Varyyn are with Estela and Quinn, and your aunt and uncle basically paid for hotel rooms for everyone else.” 

His infodump has my head reeling a little, but there was one particular tidbit I find myself fixing on. 

“Why is Mike…?” I trail off as realization crashes down on me in an icy wave. A bit of information I had nearly forgotten in my struggle to bring my baby safely into the world while fighting a fever. Jake wasn’t worrying about me for all that time from the safety of our home in California. I don’t know the details, but I have a sinking feeling that has something to do with the reason that Mike isn’t here with us now. 

Jake folds my hand between his palms, glancing at the doctor. “Hey...do you have everything you need? I’d like a few minutes alone with my wife, if that’s okay.” 

“Of course. I’ll get the ball rolling on your discharge.” 

I wait until I’m sure she’s well clear of the room before I reach to stroke Jake’s cheek. “...I know Lundgren got his filthy hands on you. ...Fiddler told me. ...I’m guessing he got a hold of Mike, too.” 

He leans into my touch. “...And Sean and Michelle. Nabbed us all as I was bringing ‘em back from the island.” 

“I don’t know if she told me that. That conversation got swallowed up in worrying about you, and then I got sick and River started coming, and…” I swallow, running my thumb along the fuzzy ridge of his cheekbone. “...Did they hurt you? Any of you?” 

He shrugs, not meeting my eyes. “Knocked us all around a little. Michelle’s the smart one, of course, so she escaped the worst. ...Mike’s in Santo Domingo having his prosthetics repaired. Lundgren ripped them out ot torture him.” 

I shudder. “Oh, god...Oh, Jake, I’m sorry...I’m so sorry…” 

I’m crying before I realize it. And as soon as I do realize, it turns into sobbing. Jake reaches down to gather me in his arms and cradle my head against his shoulder, rocking me tenderly. 

“It’s okay,” he murmurs into my hair. “It’s okay. He’s gonna be fine. You’re gonna be fine. In a few days, we’ll be home with our baby.” 

“I w-wanna be home,” I hiccup. “I wanna be home with River, but I’m scared of leaving everyone again. I just wanna bring them all home with us…” 

“Well, it’s a very big house. ...On the other hand, you cram us all into the same house long term, it might start to feel less big. Plus, it would mean a brutal cross-country commute for some of them.” 

I can’t help chuckling a little bit, which makes the sobs start to die down. Jake gives me a moment to get myself under control before he speaks again. 

“...How are you feeling, Princess? Really?” 

“Physically?” I pull back gently to lie down on the pillow again. “Definitely better. My head is clearer, and I don’t hurt as much. But I’m still worn out. And by the way, you’re gonna have to make due with blow jobs for awhile, because it’s gonna be a long time before you stick that thing in me again, if ever.” 

It’s his turn to laugh, and he bends to kiss me. “Princess, I will tug it for the rest of my life as long as you’re still a part of that life.” 

“I will be a part of your life as long as the universe allows,” I promise. “...But Jake, we both know this isn’t over.” 

He sighs, and I see his forehead crease before he presses it to mine. “I know. I know you’re right. But for River’s sake--and mine--will you let the others take care of that for now? I ain’t saying don’t worry, because I know that’s impossible. But River and I need you healthy. Can you stand to let yourself be looked after for a while?” 

I feel a rueful smile tug at one corner of my mouth. “Am I to assume that arguing is pointless?” 

A tapping at the open door to the birthing suite distracts Jake from answering. We both look up to find Raj and Diego hovering in the doorway, Raj with a paper bag in his hand, and Diego with his right arm in a soft blue sling. It’s the first time I’ve seen him since River was born, and I sit up a little straighter as he hesitantly steps over the threshold. 

“...Are we interrupting?” 

The baby has started fussing, and Jake eases off the edge of the bed to go pick her up. I open my arms to Diego. Just before he rushes into them, I see his face twist with anguish. And as he falls against me, his one-armed grip is surprisingly strong. 

“Goddammit, Allie,” he whispers quiveringly. “Goddammit…” 

“...Did I scare you?” 

He pulls back sharply, enough so he can look me in the face, but he keeps a grip on my shoulder. “Did you scare me?! You had me on my knees saying the Ave Maria! Do you know how long it’s been since I said the Ave Maria?!” 

There isn’t really a lot I can say to that, but I smile ruefully. “...Thanks for staying with me.” 

“What, you thought I’d bail?” 

I snort. “God, no. But I can still be grateful.” 

“...You’re really okay?” 

I nod. “I’m fine. The fever is gone, and the wound doesn’t really hurt anymore. I’m still pretty sore down there, though.” 

A smile finally starts to play cautiously around his mouth. “...Well, that part’s Jake’s problem.” 

“How about you?” I ask, gingerly touching the strap of his navy blue sling. 

“That’s nothing serious. It was dislocated, but they popped it back in. Just got to wear this for a few more days, and take it easy once we get back home. ...Raj brought food, by the way.” 

“Oh!” I pull back a little to smile at Raj. “Sorry, big guy. I didn’t mean to ignore you.” 

Raj chuckles. “We’ll blame it on the new mommy brain and leave it at that. Speaking of which…” He shoos Diego back enough that he can drag my bed table over across my lap, and sets an insulated lunch box on top. “I figured you could do with something better than hospital fruit cups and oatmeal, so I brought you a special Raj lunch. Michelle supervised its creation, and it’s full of stuff that’s supposed to be good for new moms.” 

“What is it?” 

“So glad you asked!” With a flourish, he opens the bag, and pulls out each item in turn, presenting them like a game show prize lady. “A sandwich of salmon, spinach, and poached egg on whole wheat bread with a garlic white bean spread; in case you are extra hungry, a side of gourmet trail mix made from an assortment of nuts and dried fruit; and to drink, a pineapple-orange-banana smoothie with extra protein powder, and just a few extra leaves of spinach!” 

I can’t help but be uplifted by his enthusiasm, and hold out my arms for a hug. “I must be the most spoiled new mother in the world.” 

Raj embraces me lightly over the table. “As you should be. You know in some Asian cultures, a new mother spends a whole month resting while her mother-in-law takes care of her and the baby.” 

“Oh yeah?” I look at Jake. “Think your mother would spend a month taking care of me?” 

“Honestly, I bet she would. The problem would be getting her to ease up and let you start taking care of things after the month was up.” 

“Hmm...probably best not to give her ideas then.” 

“Probably. We’ll have my folks over in few more months, when we’ve had a chance to get settled.” 

“...But…” Raj says, “in the meantime, do you think you guys will be needing any extra help? I know it’s going to be a pretty full house as it is, but Diego’s going to want to take it easy with lifting and stuff for a while, and Michelle says Mike will probably need time to recover, too. If you need a couple extra pairs of hands and someone to do the cooking, I have some downtime, and I know Lila would be happy to come along.” 

I look questioningly at Jake, who shrugs. “I don’t have anything against that. It’s a big enough house. And if Varyyn and I are gonna be the only ones at full strength for the time being, I wouldn’t say no to a couple extra pairs of hands.”

“And probably better those hands be Raj and Lila than anyone’s parents,” Diego adds. “I bet Varyyn would prefer not having to wear his disguise twenty-four-seven.” 

“Yeah. And,” Jake adds with a sigh, shifting River to rest against his shoulder, “it’s probably preferable not to involve anyone who ain’t already involved in the bigger picture. ...Like you said before, Princess, this ain’t over.” 

“But for now, we’re all safe and sound, and Allie has a lunch to eat.” Diego smiles encouragingly as he pushes the tinfoil-wrapped sandwich toward me. “Go on. Dig in.” 

Jake

I gotta admit, it does my heart good to see my wife savoring the meal Raj brought her and enjoying our friends’ company. She seems almost back to her old self as she talks and tells jokes and teases with them. Although, as I put River in her arms, I can’t help but be reminded that she’ll never be exactly like her old self again. Not now that she’s a mama. Not like I’m ever gonna be exactly like my old self again either. I’m a daddy now. That’s gonna change me forever. The thought scares me, like it has a lot over the past nine months. But just a look at that precious little face is enough to reassure me that I am never gonna regret it. 

Diego and Raj eventually leave us on our own again. After nursing and burping, River sleeps just long enough that we can fill out her birth certificate, nestled side-by-side on the bed. From there, it’s not more than an hour or two before they’re wheeling Alodia toward the hospital exit with River in her arms again while I walk at her shoulder, a baby carrier in the crook of my elbow and my arms laden with flowers and mini mylar balloons. Any staff we happen to pass on the way out smile and wave or give us their congratulations. I have a feeling that in a hospital, any chance to see a patient off happy and healthy is a cause for celebration, and that probably goes double for a new mama leaving with a baby. 

Grace is waiting in a car for us at the curb outside the hospital. One of Reggie’s old carseats is in the backseat. Grace settles the baby in the carseat while I help Alodia into the seat beside her. 

“There’s a surprise for you guys when we get to our place,” Grace informs us as I circle around the car to get in on the other side of River. 

“Nothing too strenuous, I hope,” Alodia quips. “I am not up for a party yet.” 

Grace chuckles as she starts up the car. “Oh, believe me, I realize that. No, everyone is pretty sure parties are off the table for you for the time being. ...But you do know that everyone is going to want to see you before you leave, right? You gave us a scare, and no one wants you to go before we all know you’re okay. ...Plus, everyone wants to see River.” 

“I am not opposed to visitors,” Alodia assures her. “Just...only a few at a time.” 

“Absolutely. We won’t let you get overwhelmed.” 

“River, either,” Alodia adds, stroking our sleeping daughter’s downy hair. “Poor thing is probably overwhelmed as it is, suddenly coming into all this noise and color and light.” 

“Birth is the craziest thing that ever happens to us, and none of us remember it,” I remark, letting the blade of my forefinger run gently back and forth across the soft back of River’s tiny hand. Her little fingers twitch just slightly, and the base of her pacifier rocks back and forth across her lips, but she doesn’t wake up. I don’t expect the quiet will last. 

River does sleep throughout the half hour or so it takes to drive to Aleister and Grace’s luxury Northbridge apartment. As we pull up to the curb, I realize what our surprise is. 

“Mike!” 

I must have been a little louder than I thought, because River wakes up with a cry that can only be described as irritated, but it doesn’t fully register until I have already launched myself out of the car towards Mike. He’s balancing on a walker, so I at least have the good sense not to jostle him, but I can’t hold myself back from grasping him firmly by the shoulders. He grins, carefully removing his hands from the walker one at a time to grasp me back. 

“Good to see ya, Grandpa.” 

“Shit, you too! We weren’t expecting you for another couple days! How are you feeling?” 

“Well, as you can tell,” he says, nodding at the walker, “I’m not quite ready to run a marathon yet. But my new legs are healing up nice. ...Good to see you, Goldilocks.” 

His gaze shifts over my shoulder, and I turn to look back at my wife supporting herself on Aleister’s arm while Grace bounces River in her arms. Alodia smirks at me, her eyes twinkling mischievously. 

“I feel like I should make a joke about you abandoning your wife and child in the car to go hang out with your buddy,” she drawls. 

I grin sheepishly as Mike carefully returns his grip to the walker. “Sorry about that. Let me make it up to you.” 

I lunge and sweep her up bridal style, and I have the pleasure of feeling her arms twine around my neck. 

“Mmm, much better. However, unlike your daughter, I am actually capable of walking.” 

“But you don’t have to. Not right now, anyway.” But I do return her to her feet after capturing her mouth in a kiss. I don’t entirely take my hands off her yet, though. After her ordeal, I don’t think she’s really that much steadier than Mike right now. Her grip as she slips her arm through mine confirms my concerns. 

I’m standing between my wife and my best friend, and neither of them are fully able to stand under their own power. I’m starting to feel that much more grateful to Raj for volunteering to help us out for a while. 

I think Mike notices Alodia’s weakness, too, because his forehead creases just a little. “You all right, Goldilocks? From what I hear, you gave everyone a real scare.” 

“It was pretty scary on my end, too. But I’m fine now. How about you?” 

Mike shrugs. “Ahh, you know. A few weeks of rehab, I’ll be a six-million dollar man again. In the meantime,” he adds wryly, stroking the frame of his walker, “it’ll be hard to call Jake ‘Grandpa’ when I’m dottering around on this thing.” 

“You just called me ‘Grandpa’ two minutes ago.” 

“And I cannot tell you how hard I internally cringed. Seriously, if you could have seen my internal expression, you’d have thought I was sucking lemons.” 

I am morally obligated to reach out and swat him for that, but before I can, Alodia abruptly steps forward to wrap her arms around his shoulders. It’s an awkward embrace, encumbered by the walker and both of them still being weak, but it’s a sincere one, and Mike leans into it gratefully. 

“I’m glad you’re okay,” Alodia murmurs. 

“You too,” Mike says softly, reaching up to pat her shoulder with one hand. “But can we go inside? I wanna properly meet that baby you’ve been carrying around for the past nine months!” 

***

The Catalysts come by in shifts throughout the afternoon and evening, apparently having planned it all out beforehand. No one stays more than an hour at a time, which proves to be a good thing, since Alodia is clearly worn out by about eight in the evening. We’re set up in the guest room of the Rourke apartment, with River in a bassinet beside us, and Mike on the foldaway bed in the living room. 

Alodia nurses River and rocks her to sleep before lying down herself. At first, I curl up beside Alodia in bed. She’s asleep within minutes, but I’m not as quick. And after an hour, it’s pretty clear that I’m not on my way to dreamland any time soon. I don’t want to leave Alodia or River. I never want to leave Alodia’s side again. But I’m restless. Anxious. And eventually, the desire not to disturb what precious little sleep my wife might have before our daughter wakes her up again wins out over my irrational need to pace back and forth between them. I check the windows, making sure they’re locked, then I slip out of the room as quietly as I can, heading back out into the living room. 

I find Mike, Aleister, and Grace all seated in the living room. On the coffee table are four short, round glasses and a bottle of golden red liquid that I’m guessing is some kind of whiskey. 

“We were starting to wonder if you had also fallen asleep,” Aleister says. He gestures to the glasses. “We thought you might like to wet your baby’s head.” 

“Kind of a weird expression,” I remark. Nonetheless, I pick up the bottle and take a seat in an armchair to read the label. “Ooh, Irish Mist. Fancy.” 

“It is not every day that one becomes a father. The night Reginald was born, Diego, Varyyn, and I toasted his birth with Irish Mist.” 

I crack open the bottle, and lean forward to fill each of the four glasses about halfway. I set down the bottle and raise my glass, the others following suit. 

“To River Skye McKenzie, my beautiful angel. And to her mother, my better half, who is truly the best and bravest of us.” 

“Here, here!” Grace says. We clink glasses, and I take a long, deep drink, savoring the sweet notes of honey and spices riding atop the alcoholic burn of whiskey. I return my glass to the table empty and lean back in my chair. 

“When my sister and I both were born, my grandpa had my dad and the men of the neighborhood over to smoke cigars on the porch.” I chuckle a little. “Rebecca remembers helping our grandma in the kitchen, and seeing all the men outside smoking. She says what she remembers most about the day I was born was our dad coming in from outside to give her a hug, but she pushed him away and said, ‘No, Daddy! You stink!’” 

My story prompts the expected laughter. 

“I am afraid Irish Mist will have to do tonight,” Aleister says. “I did not think to buy cigars. Nor would I know enough to ensure I was purchasing a quality product. As I understand it, Cuban cigars are the best, but those are illegal.” 

Mike shudders. “Honestly, I think the smell of a Cuban would be enough to give me flashbacks. Lundgren used to smoke contraband Cubans.” 

“Same here,” I agree. “I mean...there was that one time…” 

“...That one time what?” 

I chuckle a little, rubbing the back of my head. “Okay, no one currently in this room was there when Zahra blew up MASADA…” 

“What’s that got to do with Cuban cigars?” 

I sigh, but in spite of myself, in spite of how literally everyone else in the room with me was in some kind of bad situation at the time, I feel a smile playing around my mouth at the memory. 

“Okay, so it’s me, Alodia, Sean, Quinn, Estela, Craig, and Zahra trying to find another way out of the complex after the gondola gets severed, and when we go through a control room, Zahra gets the idea to blow the whole thing up. We figure it’s worth the couple extra minutes, so we let her do it. And while she’s rigging the system, I find one of Lundgren’s Cubans somewhere on the floor. ...And I light it up. But only to spite the bastard.” 

“But did you enjoy it?” Mike asks. 

“Hell, yeah! The hype ain’t a lie, buddy. Not saying I’d do it again unless it were one of his personal stash, but that was a real good smoke. ...Still...it wouldn’t be right to celebrate River with Cuban cigars. Lundgren and Rourke did enough to taint her birth.” 

“Nothing has been tainted,” Grace says firmly. “She and Alodia both came through it well and healthy.”

“I ain’t losing sight of what’s important,” I assure her. “But I can’t let my guard down, either.  ...We all know this ain’t over.” 

Grace sighs. “...No, you’re right. It isn’t over. ...Which means...I should probably tell you what I learned in Ireland.”

Diego

I knew that the Catalysts wouldn’t have sat on their hands while any of their own were in danger, but I am surprised to learn just how busy they were during the time that Allie and I were in Arachnid’s claws. I’m even more surprised--and frankly unsettled--by some of the things they learned. Yvonne might be alive. Lundgren flew the same plane that killed Allie’s parents, even though the twisted wreckage of that plane is the property of the NTSB. The whole mess with Allie’s mom, that weird AI message from a program made by Allie’s mom. It all leaves us with a lot more questions than answers. 

I told the police everything I felt like I could safely tell them. I went so far as to tell them that I think Everett Rourke might be alive because that’s who our kidnappers claimed they were taking us to. I don’t know if they believed me. I don’t know if the future of the Vaanti is safe. A part of me hopes that they lose interest in the case since everyone who was abducted has been recovered safely. But I also know that none of us are really safe until Rourke is either back behind bars or dead. 

Aleister and Estela make all the travel arrangements for those of us going back to California, including my folks and Allie’s. Castor carries me, Allie, Jake, Varyyn, Mike, Raj, Lila, Rebecca, and River. For once, Jake and Mike aren’t going to be flying. Pollux is taking our families. A third plane, smaller but no less luxurious, takes Jake’s parents back to Louisiana. They’re reluctant to leave him. They don’t want to be apart from their son, or their daughter, or their granddaughter. He assures them they can come visit soon, but that their daughter-in-law needs some time to recover first. 

At the airport, Allie’s aunt and uncle hesitate to part from her on the tarmac. Allie stands with River in her arms, patiently enduring as Molly smoothes her hair and kisses her forehead, asking if she’s sure Allie doesn’t want her and Rob to wait at the airport in California to drive her home. When Allie insists she’s sure; that Molly and Rob should go ahead and get home so they can rest. Rob says they’ll make sure there are cars waiting for us to take us all back to the house in Laguna. 

My parents board the plane before I arrive at the airport. On board the plane, I nestle up with Varyyn on one of the double-width leather seats. I wind my arms around him and bury my face in his shoulder, inhaling his scent. He kisses the top of my head. 

“Are you alright, my love?” he murmurs. 

“...I’ll be fine,” I assure him. “I’m just...disappointed. I knew my parents weren’t ready to meet you. But I had hoped...I don’t know. I had hoped it wouldn’t be like this. Even if I knew it probably would be.” 

Varyyn sighs, bringing a hand up to stroke my cheek. “They may yet come around. Or they may not. In the end, it is up to them. All I can promise is that I will love you regardless of their decision.” 

“...I love you, too.” 

“You guys all set?” Raj’s voice makes me look up. The others are boarding behind us and finding their seats. Jake helps Allie settle in and get her seatbelt on, River still cradled in her arms. 

“Are you sure a plane is really the best way to travel with a newborn?” Lila asks. 

“When the choices are between a rental car, a train, or a private plane for a cross-country trip, a private plane is hands down the best option,” Rebecca declares. “I mean, if we were on a commercial plane, I’d think twice, since those things are basically flying petri dishes. But this plane has been deep-cleaned, unlike the train. It’s more comfortable than a car, and faster than both the car or the train.” 

“Yeah, but what about her little ears? All the pressure?” 

“The doctor says that if I nurse her during take-off and landing, that should keep her comfortable. Besides...I just want to be home.” 

Home. The word washes through me in a way that comforts me even as it makes me want to cry. Images flash through my mind of the house I share with my husband, my best friend, her husband, and his best friend--and now, my little niece and goddaughter. Watching movies in the living room with Allie. Sharing dinner around the table or out on the balcony. Cuddling with Varyyn in the hot tub in the evening, letting the warm, swirling water sap the energy from my body, and then sliding into bed beside him and drifting off to sleep in his arms. At home, I don’t have to hide. I don’t have to walk on eggshells or worry about losing anyone’s love. At home, I’m safe and free. I meet my best friend’s eyes, offering her a tired smile. 

“I’m with you, Allie. Let’s get home.” 

Raj

Nothing but the best for my friends, that’s my motto. I came to the house in Laguna Beach to make sure that my friends would have the best care while they needed it, and I waste no time in getting down to business. Alodia, Diego, and Mike need space to convalesce. But with a new baby in a huge house like this, there is a lot to be done. Jake and Varyyn can’t be expected to do everything, and that’s where I and Lila come in. 

River is constantly monitored. Whenever she cries, someone is ready to come running to change her diaper, or to bring her to Alodia for feeding. I prepare meals ahead of time that can be easily heated and served, so no one goes hungry. Lila helps me cook and keep the house clean. Alodia’s aunt and uncle attempt to send cleaning and catering services to her at one point, but they end up being politely refused. Lila and I have everything under control, and none of us want strangers poking around here. 

Alodia is occasionally moody, snapping at everyone to stop fussing over her, and she can’t wait to be free of this gilded cage and go back out into the world. This is usually followed by tearful apologies, with all of us assuring her that we don’t take it personally. She just had a baby, she’s allowed to be moody. Besides, the moment someone places River in her arms, it seems like everything is right in her world, and everything is right in our world, too. 

...Except it’s not. Not entirely. 

River is happy and healthy. Alodia is getting her strength back. Diego gets rid of the sling, and Mike starts to get around without the walker again. But underneath the surface, there is still trauma. There’s still fear. 

“They’re having nightmares,” I tell Lila one morning as we’re preparing breakfast. She pauses for a moment with a knife poised above an orange before swiftly slicing it in half. 

“Is that so surprising?” she asks. She doesn’t look at me as she speaks, but concentrates on making sure the thick, white heart of the orange half in her hand is positioned properly on the cone of the juicer before she presses down and begins to twist. Bright yellow juice splashes down into the container below. 

“Well, no. But it is sad. Jake and Alodia especially should be concentrating on enjoying their new baby, not having nightmares and worrying about whether Rourke’s coming back for them.” 

Lila pulls the now-deflated orange rind off the cone of the juicer and tosses it on the countertop. Ribbons of tattered orange flesh cling to the inside of the rind. She picks up the other half. 

“...Do you ever have nightmares from Mr. Rourke?” she asks softly. 

“Of course,” I reply. “Not as much as before, but I think we all have them sometimes. After what we all went through, I think I’d be more surprised if any of us didn’t.” 

The twisting of the orange on the juicer slows just slightly. The toaster pops behind me, and I pluck four pieces of perfectly browned bread from the slots to toss onto a plate. 

“...I have nightmares, too.” 

The butter has been softening on the counter, and my knife slides easily through it. The heat from the toast softens it further, and it spreads cleanly. 

“...You want to talk about it?” 

Lila shakes her head, picking up her knife and another orange. “No. Not now. They don’t really matter anyway. They’re about things that happened in the past. I’m less scared of them than I am of what happens in the future.” 

“Do you mean Rourke’s next move?” 

“Of course that scares me. ...But more than that, I’m scared of him trying to use me against all of you again.” 

“We won’t let that happen, Lila. You’re safe with us.” 

“...But are you safe with me?” 

I pause a moment before putting down my knife. I turn to Lila, put one hand on each of her shoulders, and turn her toward me. 

“Lila...look at me. ...Has Rourke approached you at all since you’ve been with us again?” 

Her eyes widen in what looks like genuine surprise. “What? No, I...that isn’t what I meant!” 

I relax just a little. “...Okay.” I slowly take my hands away from her shoulders. “...You’d tell me if he had, wouldn’t you?” 

She nods. “Of course.” 

“Good. ...Because if he approaches you again, we can help you. We can help keep you out from under his thumb. ...We’re not gonna let him just have you back.” 

A weak smile lifts the corners of her mouth. “I believe you.” She hastily turns back to the oranges in front of her. “You should...um...finish buttering before the toast gets cold.” 

Overhead, the sharp, piercing cry of an infant rings through the air. I smile. Another morning blending into another day. It’s not perfect. We’ve got reason to worry. But for now, all is well. 

Diego

I keep my head down as I move through the halls of my high school, clutching the straps of my worn-out backpack. It’s the same shabby gray one I’ve been carrying since freshman year. I’m a junior now, and the corners near the bottom are starting to fray where the sharp corners of paper-bag covered textbooks have dug into them. 

My stomach growls. I skipped lunch again today. My parents were gone to work early again, and I didn’t leave myself enough time to make myself anything this morning. I barely had time to scarf down a banana for breakfast. I didn’t have enough cash for a cafeteria lunch, either, and besides, I preferred spending my lunch period playing on the computer in the library to sitting by myself at the end of a table filled with noisy strangers anyway. 

If I can scrape together enough change from the bottom of my pencil case, I might have enough to get a bag of chips from the vending machine before I have to go to my after school job. But for now, my hunger isn’t all that sharp, and I am heading towards English Lit, the only class I currently look forward to. 

The class is taught by Mr. Hunter. He also teaches the film-making class I want to sign up for next semester. He’s in his early fifties, and not handsome. He is tall and lanky, with gray-green eyes and a dark helmet of slicked back hair that sits atop a rectangular face. He has one of those mustaches that seemed to be popular in the 1970’s that always make a man look a little sketchy. He wears paisley shirts and slacks, and his voice reminds me of Bert from Sesame Street.

Mr. Hunter is the best teacher I’ve ever had at this school. When we studied Romeo and Juliet, he started off by giving us all a printed-off list of Shakespearean insults. When one girl tried to mumble her way through a line-reading, he shouted, “Put some feeling into it, you saucy wench!” 

Mr. Hunter is also gay, and he does not attempt to hide this. When my parents ask about my teachers and which ones I like best, I leave this fact out. If they knew, they would make me switch to another class. Mr. Hunter has a picture of himself with his boyfriend on his desk. I’ve seen it when I’ve gone up to hand in assignments. His partner is bald and ruddy-skinned. He’s not handsome, either, but he has an open, friendly smile. Sometimes, I imagine them kissing. I worry that I have a crush on Mr. Hunter. 

On the post of every classroom door is a laminated pink triangle, with a message proclaiming that this is a safe space for LGBTQ students. These triangles are mandated by the school district. Not every teacher honors them. One teacher actually tore hers down and refused to put it back up. She was fired. Last year, two girls were voted “Cutest Couple” in their senior class. I look at the triangles, prominently displayed as I walk into each classroom, and I don’t feel particularly safe. I feel safe in Mr. Hunter’s classroom. 

Inside Mr. Hunter’s classroom, two boys from the football team act out a love poem with one of them in a curly blond wig and the bottom of his shirt tucked into his collar to create a crop top. They end with a flourish, with the boy in the wig jumping into the other boy’s arms and goosing him. Everyone applauds their performance, including Mr. Hunter. 

Outside Mr. Hunter’s classroom, guys of all stripes growl “faggot” in my direction, and even the girls who are nice to me seem pitying more than anything. There’s a Pride club that meets after school two days a week, but I don’t dare join. I’m slowly realizing I can’t deny the truth anymore, but that doesn’t mean I can just announce it to the world. 

I have just enough change to buy a bag of chips after school. I put it in my backpack as I make my way toward the library where I work for a few hours each day. I see Sam Dzugan eyeing me as I pass through the main doors to the school, and feel dread so familiar that it’s almost dull. Of all the bullies at this school, Sam is the worst. He also knows where I work. If he’s bored and hungry for a power fix tonight, I’m in for a rough walk home. 

But he doesn’t follow me to work. At the library, I set to work filing back the books from the return cart. As I do, my mind wanders to the same place it always does: Alodia. 

Alodia. My ideal friend. I conjure up an image of her beside me. She would be pretty, like all the most popular girls at school. I summon a small, pale figure with blonde hair, big blue eyes, and rosy cheeks. I talk with her in my head as I wander the aisles of the library with the return cart. I can picture her cheeky smile as clearly as if she were really beside me. I have spent many years getting the details of her perfect. Early incarnations of her were dark-haired. Green-eyed. Taller. I drew pictures of her. I wrote down her description in a private notebook that I kept under my mattress. But she never felt as real as when I wrote her with golden blonde hair and sapphire eyes. 

She laughs at all my jokes as I work the rest of my shift. I forgot to eat the chips I bought, and I’m hungry enough now to start feeling dizzy. ...Alodia would invite me to dinner at her house. A huge, fancy house with a pool, where a chef would have prepared a gourmet meal. 

“Don’t worry about Sam,” she would say. “If he gives you any trouble, I’ll fight him off.” ...Because Alodia would be fierce. A fighter. Alodia was a hero. A hero who loved me unconditionally. 

Alodia was never meant to be my lover. I wasn’t looking for a lover when I first dreamed Alodia into existence, which is probably why I always imagined her as a girl. I could scarcely imagine having a lover before I had a friend. That was what Alodia was to me. A friend. A friend who would always love me. A friend who I could tell my secrets to without judgment. A friend to fight for me and protect me, who saw value in me, and needed me back. 

But my friend is a fantasy. And when I leave work and Sam corners me in the encroaching darkness, Alodia vanishes…

...I wake up with a gasp, bolting upright in the darkness of my room. Beside me, Varyyn grunts in his sleep and rolls over, the moonlight reflecting off his blue skin. I stare at his sleeping form for a moment, trying to take stock of myself. I’m shaking. My pajamas are damp with sweat. I feel cold. I feel sick and empty with fear. I don’t exactly remember what I was dreaming about, but one thought keeps echoing in my mind: Allie. I have to find Allie. 

I slip out of bed as gently as I can while I’m still trembling. I don’t want to wake Varyyn. As I slip into the hall, motion-sensitive lights plugged into the sockets near the floor illuminate my path. My dream is still hazy, but bits and pieces trickle back as I shuffle down the hall with my hand on the wall. I was alone. Allie didn’t exist. It was a timeline that I have all but forgotten, and it felt entirely too real. 

I need to find her. Or at least evidence that she still exists. The door to the nursery is slightly ajar, enough that I can see the soft glow from the lamp on the bedside table. I peek through the crack in the door and relief floods through me. Allie, bundled up in her robe and slippers, sits in the rocking chair with River in her arms, gently rocking back and forth. I exhale slowly. I should go back to bed, but I am not ready to let her out of my sight yet. I start to push open the door. She gasps a little, looking up sharply. 

“Oh, Diego!” She smiles at me, settling back into her chair. “You startled me.” 

“Sorry,” I whisper back. “...Did I wake up River?” 

“No. I just fed her, so she’ll probably be out for an hour or two.” She looks up at me as I come to settle into the armchair across from her. “...What are you doing up?” 

“...Bad dream,” I admit. “...About...about you. I had to come check on you or I was never going to get back to sleep.” 

I half-expect her to joke about me being a creeper watching her while she sleeps, but instead she sighs. “...I kinda know the feeling.” 

“Yeah. I bet you do.” 

“You wanna stay up with me for awhile?” 

“Yeah. But I feel like I should be telling you to get some sleep while you can.” 

“I probably should be sleeping,” she admits. “...But I don’t really want to let her go.” 

There’s not really much I feel like I need to say to that. I understand. I don’t think there’s anyone in this house who doesn’t empathize with that feeling in one way or another. Especially now. 

“...Diego…?” 

“Yeah, Allie?” 

For a long moment, she doesn’t say anything, though her mouth opens and closes a couple times. Then, she swallows and takes a deep breath. 

“...I love you. I love you, and I love Jake, and Raj, and all the Catalysts…” 

“We love you, too, Allie.” 

“...When you imagined me. In that other timeline. When I didn’t come to be until the Island...did you ever imagine my future?” 

I can’t help flinching. Her words feel like a cold pinprick at the top of my spine. “...Allie...I...I don’t really remember that timeline…” 

“I know. I know. But...it happened. It existed. I was once born to be what you needed. What all the Catalysts needed. ...But now...now I have River. Someone new who needs me. She needs me more than any of my Catalysts.” 

“I...I think that’s true,” I say slowly. “...We all love you, and we want you with us. But River is your child. She’s helpless and new. She needs your love and your care and your guidance to survive.” 

“...I’m scared, Diego. I’m scared by how much I love her. I’m scared by how much she needs me.” 

My earlier fear is being replaced with concern that is entirely for my friend.  “...Allie...are you okay? Is this some kind of postpartum depression?” 

“I don’t know what this is, Diego. I know that I love River more than I ever thought I could love anyone alive. I would have torn myself apart for my Catalysts without hesitation. I gave up my existence to give my Catalysts the world. ...But I can’t consider that anymore. Because River needs her mother.” 

“Oh, Allie. That’s not a bad thing. None of us want you to tear yourself apart.” 

“I know. ...But I am afraid of what happens if the world asks for it. ...If I end up at the Threshold again, or a new Raan’losti…” She looks up at me. “...Diego...I think I have to face what’s in the pool shed.” 

I feel my blood run cold. I know what’s in the pool shed. The collection of objects that were left for us in the Crystal dimension when we went to rescue Tahira. Including…

“...Are you sure?” 

She nods. “...It was left for me to find for a reason. I have to touch the Andromeda idol again.”