#I cant ask about it either bc like...they probably dont know theyre doing it but... Yeah

[tealime9]

nuh uh

[mrfoox]

People slowly treating me differently like... I am guessing its something going on with you but my brain says I've done something /:

[sheyfu]

in sleepless nights, i find solitude in you

FEATURING itoshi sae, itoshi rin, oliver aiku, chigiri hyoma, mikage reo, nagi seishiro, and shoei barou

CW oliver aiku

SYNOPSIS what they like to do on sleepless nights with you

NOTE these are hcs and are not reflective of their characters!

⋆˚✿˖° itoshi sae - hearing you talk about your day

- a mundane, yet intimate moment between you two - he finds it so endearing when you talk about your day and get so passionate about it too - he just loves hearing your voice; the way you speak, the way your voice just sliiightly raises when you’re telling him about some person you abhor (big boy word), and the way you ask him for his thoughts on something you’re yapping about makes him feel like the luckiest guy in the whole world - you both end up not sleeping D: but it’s okay, he’s not complaining because it’s you

⋆˚✿˖° itoshi rin - binge watching horror movies

- you hate him for this. - but at the same time, you love it because he holds you close to him - he knows you’re scared, especially when it’s ass o’clock in the evening (more like morning) and your room’s only source of light is the television. so he holds you tight :D - he has the urge to make fun of you because you’re oh so scared, but he stops himself from doing so because he loves holding you close

⋆˚✿˖° oliver aiku - holding you close to him (in his words, spooning)

- surprisingly, he’s not horny  - i guess bc of practice, he’s tired and he just wants to de-stress and go on about his night without tiring himself out more, you included (LMAO NOT ME SPEAKING LIKE IM GANG W GREEN GALLAGHER) - so he holds you close :D  - and its not like the hold you close and talk about stuff type either - literally the hold you close and sit in silence type with occasional kisses from him :D 

⋆˚✿˖° chigiri hyoma - gossip (okay so some of you probably don't tolerate gossip but gossip culture has been SUUUUCH a big part of my life that i cant help but associate it w chigiri im so sorry you can bitch slap me for this LMAOAOAO ANWYAYS)

- he loves gossiping. he usually has THE ggoat (greatest gossip of all time) - this usually ranges from people he works closely with, or people he knows but that person doesn't know him but for some reason the news reached him LMAOAAOA  - for some reason, he also has visual references??? like if theyre related to texting he has screenshots of their convo???? if irl, he has pictures????? YOU DONT KNOW HOW HE GETS THOSE 😭😭 (based this hc off my friend who has everything for some reason 😭😭) - and most of the time theyre literally so mind-boggling you have to stop him and walk around the room to calm your beating heart down - he also loves using a soundboard while doing so LMOAOAOAO

⋆˚✿˖° mikage reo - slow dancing

- ah yes. the typical rich boy activities. - but like even if he wasnt born in that class (GANG DONT TWIST MY WORDS IM NOT A CLASSIST WLANSISOS), he'd most likely still love doing this (idk theres smth about him that js makes me think he would love dancing) - in the kitchen, dimmed lights, his hands on your waist, yours on his shoulders, herb alpert playing in the background, and his lips on your forehead  - im leaving it at that :))

⋆˚✿˖° nagi seishiro - playing roblox

- typical nagi.  - what roblox games you ask? dress to impress. - he likes playing simple games at night. and those simple games dont include dress to impress :)) - buuuut. he still plays it because the satisfaction he gets from beating 12 year olds outweigh the stress he gets from said 12 year olds - he loves to duo with you - literally caseoh just more nonchalant - he also likes to play those 2 player tycoons :DD

⋆˚✿˖° shoei barou - baking

- his love language is quality time  - and what’s more quality than baking time >:D - hes not someone for consuming sugar at ass o’clock. but he’ll tolerate it bc it makes you happy :DD  - he has those #probakingskillz bc he used to bake TONS of stuff with and for his sisters (HE ALSO BAKES THEIR GIRL SCOUT COOKIES GRAHHHHHHHH) - you also make him wear those silly pink frilly aprons (you have matching aprons but instead of yours being pink and frilly its literally the opposite) 

© sheyfu on tumblr

[poughkeepsies]

You asked so let me lay out the mental gymnastics I have done to reach buddie roomates

1. Not a single bts of that loft. I feel like we were getting loft bts all the time last year (also there were like so many loft scenes last year too so that might be why)

2. Built the biggest most expensive rolling stage thing of all time. I believe either they have to build new sets this year or rent the sets from fox = bucks loft didnt make the cut (pure spec on my part watch oliver post bts of the loft today on his ig takeover)

3. “Giving the fans what theyre asking for” in terms of buddie what the fans have been asking for (at least that I see the most and think the writers would be aware of) is buddie canon, trapped dads (which was mostly just finale spec but I do think could happen in cruise disaster), buck breakdown/therapy, buckley diaz fam content, death to bucks loft/buddie roommates. And buddie roommates not only captures 2 of those but is also my fav of them so my mind went there

4. Buck and eddie closer than ever / knowing each other on a deeper level than before (Im paraphrasing bc I cant remember all 20 devastating ryan quotes rn): from personal experience, you can be very close with someone, but living with them is a whole new experience and you learn things about people you never knew before. One of the most intimate ways to get to know someone imo

5. Kind of like a said with a newish audience, 10 ep season that includes 2ep big emergency and madney wedding, and also the fact I feel the show has never explicitly hinted at buddie (I dont count the s2 stuff tim has said was fan service and 601/612 felt like it but thats it) I dont think full buddie canon is on the table this season. But a great way to explicitly hint that buddie canon is happening at some point would be roommates storyline

In conclusion: there will probably be 30 loft scenes this season and Im dumb but one can dream

everybody take a look at this ask and learn. this is the exact kind of deranged unserious reaching that we've been missing in this fandom lately. I love you and I applaud you anon 🫵

[irrealisms]

for the character ask game to match/complete the others: ItzSubz?

took me a while to get around to this but!! yes!!!! 3/3 eclipse fed ask game babyyyyy

How I feel about this character

i am less insane abt him than i am about vitalasy & zam but this is a low bar. i care a lot about him. i think a lot about how fucking lonely he is, and how .. fundamentally all he wants in s4 is to live happily with his friends and for them to not hate each other. and instead everything falls apart. and he doesn't know how to fix it but he figures it must be his fault and he kills himself about it and this ... looks like it might fix it, for a bit, but that. really does not fix it either. he makes me sad :( in other seasons he . exists i guess. sorry im not a subzguy (void chara voice Some crimes can never be forgiven (not true void would never say this bc theyre too polite))

All the people I ship romantically with this character

vitalasy. zam. uhhhhhh. yeah that's kind of it

My non-romantic OTP for this character

not sure i have one tbh. the vitalasubz relationship is so romantic & i feel like i dont have a great grasp on subz's relationships outside of eclipse? which tbf for s4 at least this is bc. he is in fact very isolated for a lot of it! and i know his s4 better than his other seasons lol

My unpopular opinion about this character

this is going to be a bit of a reiteration of several of my other unpopular opinions abt other characters I WANT TO READ HIM BEING MORE ABLEISTTTTTT IN FIC like i dont think it's unpopular per se to go "i think that subz is ableist". i think this is an extremely popular opinion. but the general outlook on this is that when fans write him they write a version of subz that isnt ableist. which is like. fair. not everyone wants to write the amount of ableist that subz is, especially because the thing with subz is that c!subz is only ableist bc cc!subz is irl ableist and gets defensive about overly triggered snowflakes when people call him on it. no one should. like. feel obligated to write characters being ableist if they dont want to lol. but also. c!subz is ableist! i want fic that is in character & that includes wanting portrayal of subz being ableist, and as a crazy person i like fic that is willing to explore ableism. i also understand that some ppl probably dont want to write it if they ~cant reclaim~ it but as a certified schizo i am giving everyone who reads this post permission to write subz calling people schizo esp if you're writing canon/non-au. he does that! in canon! a lot! and tbh i feel weirder abt ppl erasing subz's ableism than i do abt ppl writing fictional characters who use the word schizo lol

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

i wish that in the vitalasy stream today we had gotten a conversation between subz&zam&vi or even subz&zam instead of subz and zam only ever talking to vitalasy one-on-one and otherwise politely avoiding each other....we could have had it aaaaallll (eclipse federation screenshot in 2024)........

(ask game, give me a character)

[aspd-culture]

hey, so i recently did some research and took the mmpi and a few other tests that i knew were well regarded as diagnostic tools by professionals, as well as self reflection and matching myself with criteria. (all tests found free probably illegally online via links on reddit cause i dont got that kind of money) and it appears that i have aspd.

I consider myself a good person, i try to always be good to everyone which is a lot of effort because it’s something i dont do naturally, and imo that makes me better than a “normal person” but i digress

finding this out, while relieving in the way that it explained a lot of stuff, has also made me feel more alienated. i cant tell anyone im close to because theyll just hear “sociopath” and think i dont care about them or ive been manipulating them this whole and leave, and i wont be able to find new people because im bad at connecting with others so ill be alone. and no one online with aspd seems to have my experiences (also a lot of the online spaces are filled with pwBPD and pwNPD using our tag lmao and i dont relate to them either obviously) so i feel alien here too.

I dunno, finding this out was helpful in some ways but in others i just feel worse.

I guess it’s a net good now that i know that my way of thinking and going through life doesnt make me a bad or manipulative person its just how i naturally think bc of my disorder, and as long as im choosing to be good to people it shouldn’t matter. i just wish it wasnt so stigmatized to have, and i wish people would realize that i am capable of being a good person just as much as they are, i just have my own way of doing it.

I actually dont get why having it Come Naturally is such a good thing anyway, isnt it more meaningful if someone isnt “good by nature” but actively chooses to be anyway? I think it means less and is less reliable if someone is good by nature because then it means that they don’t actually know how or why theyre doing it, and if they have a moment of fluctuations in their empathy then they could be worse than any of us disordered folk who had to learn they why and how of this stuff.

lmfao ok uh sorry for having a character arc in your ask box you can delete if you want idc

No, no worries! I'm sorry it took me this long to get to honestly because yeah I agree with this - it is in my opinion objectively better to do good things by choice, even when it's hard for us. And, in fact, the NTs feel that way too but they don't like that it applies to us.

It's a whole cliche people like to throw around, that it isn't easy to be a good person and that the only truly good people are the ones that doing it when it's hard too - that the easiest thing isn't always the right thing, all of that. They just don't like that those things apply to us too and therefore we are very much their definition of good people.

The world has so much stigma against us, and I'm sorry you're struggling with it, that any and all of you are. We shouldn't be treated this way as a result of us being mistreated as kids. It's not our fault, but we're labeled and demonized anyway. And it sucks, and even though it says everything about them and nothing about us, people believe them bc they're so used to thinking we're the scary ones so we must be wrong.

That seems to be slowly changing, and I hope I (and you) are around to see when it does.

Plain text below the cut:

No, no worries! I'm sorry it took me this long to get to honestly because yeah I agree with this - it is in my opinion objectively better to do good things by choice, even when it's hard for us. And, in fact, the NTs feel that way too but they don't like that it applies to us.

It's a whole cliche people like to throw around, that it isn't easy to be a good person and that the only truly good people are the ones that doing it when it's hard too - that the easiest thing isn't always the right thing, all of that. They just don't like that those things apply to us too and therefore we are very much their definition of good people.

The world has so much stigma against us, and I'm sorry you're struggling with it, that any and all of you are. We shouldn't be treated this way as a result of us being mistreated as kids. It's not our fault, but we're labeled and demonized anyway. And it sucks, and even though it says everything about them and nothing about us, people believe them bc they're so used to thinking we're the scary ones so we must be wrong.

That seems to be slowly changing, and I hope I (and you) are around to see when it does.

[blueiight]

I was reading your tags to dre's published ask. Do you think while writing about these blood sucking monsters, Anne deliberately made one of them a former slave master? I mean the way this man during his mortal times had benefited by preying on the black race and the reflection of it in his fate where he is now in literal terms an entity who survives by preying on people? Or is it like twilight ( movies) where Jasper's past as a confederate soldeir is just dropped as if it's the most casual thing to shrug away.

( something is up with vampire media and all of them being connected to slave trade my god. Either it is a social commentary or people really do not have any self awarenesses?

i dont know about twilight book or movie to make a meaningful comparison to louis’s book counterpart. i wish i knew. and tbh, its hard to prescribe authorial intent on a dead woman who wrote a sprawling epic of 20+ books for 50 years , especially with shifting perspectives , namely pivoting away from louis to lestat as her MC bc of what fantasy/POV was more interesting to her. but i think in the first book there was some intention there, i cant just say how much. lestat wants to hunt the runaway slaves along the freniere plantation, and louis discourages him from doing it not out of compassion for enslaved people (which would be condescending and abysmal writing for a slaveowning character), but for his proximity to the freniere’s as fellow planters. ive talked about it a lot how its really interesting in the first 2 books that the american planter is created both literally + vampirically by the european aristocrat.. and theyre both parasitic beings in relation to the enslaved people, eventually draining them+ burning the plantation down. iwtv early book louis is resentful of lestat in part bc he thought lestat wanted his plantation, but when he learns who lestat is + where he came from, the power and will he has. hes far more genial to him. its a very dark book, and i think the fact that these characters are so vicious + melancholic is intentional on the authors part. i dont know how much race based chattel slavery is meaningfully explored from the perspective of the slaveowner, but book louis thinking of people in his captivity as fixtures, as creepy ‘things’ more proximate to the supernatural bc of their ‘african nature’ (that had yet to be ‘trained’ out of them) is a very probable, chilling, and haunting perspective of a former slaveowner to take even a hundred and some years removed from it. or if we take it as book louis immersing himself in his perspective @ the time. either way. and its pathetic when fans try to flatten book louis into ‘he was a good slaveowner’ cuz at that point theyre just conflating the movie with the book. i kinda joke that book louis is the vampire it girl bc he was such a terrible mortal LOL. im still indeterminate on the exact mode or purpose, or how much it was just about the aesthetic of gothic horror (re: the earth’s a savage garden). especially bc later books fixate on very discrete modes and metaphors of servitude/subjugation ‘being a slave to the blood’ is a recurring motif running antiparallel with the motif of ‘purifying the african/asian/foreign’ (through ‘admixture’ with the ‘european’) (s/o poacher bro gabi + talamasca bro dave ig) and in later works, theres the cycle of slavery through marius & armand.. marius, whos mother was a slave, purchases armand. chattel slavery took inspo from the romans in the idea of maternal based slave caste inheritance.. idk. idk. ive had very long rambly convos w ppl on here in the past (& im still a bit embarrased abt it) on this, but i think the reasons why fans dont rly get into it is cuz most ppl got into these books at a young age + was just into the cool lore or the queer shit and were able to handwave things as just aesthetic/era/quirky anne things etc. idk.

[baylardo]

THIS POST IS SO LONG LMAO

idk what all ive written and not written publicly pertaining to my ideas on these cringe naenae lil thangs outside of me n tardi dm’s bc im embarrassed and its still rough and vague hahaha im still exploring things but ive thought a lot about certain aspects and not others. toxic worldbuilding lmao.

i think the idea has become that philippa is a bit into her captaincy,,,, not fresh into it. her ex-captain sh’Eraz (moid) has been apprehended or killed (idk lol) and shes in command of the Legacy,,,

theres a few ideas im still sitting on like as its been discussed like, the two kids are barely a year apart in age. which means that like her and jj had a one night stand or something and she got knocked up from it but theyre still like not in a relationship,,,,,,, i hesitate bc i kinda like the idea of the alien adopted boy having a few years (or closer to 10 years lol) on their biological daughter so idk. and it all seems REALLY indulgent to keep it all that close. but also,,,,, 😳 im just struggling to keep it dissimilar to my stuff with kathryn and chakotay and this was like, a way that presented itself haha.

and i still don’t know when JJ would re-enlist in starfleet!!! nothing compelling comes to me 😩😩😩😩 *nothing that doesnt seem super simpy like when philippa becomes a captain for example and she conveniently needs a chief engineer. ive thought that like, maybe his mother who’s been abhorrently against starfleet since joe’s death eventually insists he go because he so obviously loves and wants to follow philippa or something and it reminds her of joe I DONT KNOOOOOOW. ive also thought that maybe he joins peppa’s ship she captains LATER, initially as a civilian and very much like philippa’s Side Piece who coparents kids and rejoins later??? idk haha. i dont really like that option either fhfjdkks

anywayyyyy current idea is she finds out shes whoopsy pregnant just before leaving earth to go on an away mission, doesnt say anything to anyone even jace just leaves lol,,,, Legacy comes across this planet-size spaceship inhabited by these batlike aliens, the ship is their planet that theyve made capable of traversing space and survives on orbiting stars for periods of time, ao theyre very used to darkness but also theyre like obsessed with light sources lol. its like super advanced solar powered technology. i figure the planet has either one or a few like, densely populated areas where theres these big beacons of light protruding out of the centers of the cities, and then vast parts of the planet that are completely covered in darkness. the aliens probably have some explanation surrounding it like lack of resources or something. refer to the valleys of darkness on the planet-ship as like "outskirts" or w/e.

philippas down there doing first contact things (insert weird atmosphere inside the giant planet-ship granting philippa a unique access to it in comparison to her peers), the bat aliens are nice and accommodating to starfleet,,,,, i figure they have some mysterious visual to them of like, bearing little carnivorous fangs, but being vegetarian. stuff of that nature. philippa's a little bit sus about it but says nothing past like, maybe asking why they dont eat meat and them answering that theyve evolved past the need to consume meat and it's something that they dont look fondly on from their ancestry.

while shes there idk in some sketchy alleyway or being given a tour of a science facility, maybe philippa has stepped away from a tour to do some snooping of her own, she's a little bit problematic and too suspicious for her own good.

a runaway/criminal/fleeing/dying bat lady gives her this weird either egg/pod (she may not know its an egg at first lol) and she gets frantically told some conspiracy type stuff about their civilization being built on graves or lies or something edgy and that she cant let them have this pod/egg, its their last hope of setting things right. the bat lady looks oddly different to the other bat aliens philippa has seen; dont know visually how to contrast it yet but shes more sickly, less clean and less light-colored, more gray and fitting for a nocturnal species who rarely sees light, ravaged, less prim and proper, probably larger and more apparent fangs, etc. but she either runs off or gets captured or killed.

philippa's left more than a little confused about things but i figure she has an intuitive sense of wrongness and hasn't been vibing something she couldnt quite put her finger on regarding these aliens for a while and that kinda confirms a hunch for her. ummm proceeding to them trying to take the egg/pod away from philippa and shes like "ummmm lol no" so she ends up getting chased and her fleeing the city she's in without backup, they cut off access to her ship and comms so shes like Super Alone fending for herself out in the pitch black. POTENTIALLY she has access to starlight, id imagine the big planet-ship is a closed off dome as it travels but it opens up slits or something along its circumference to take in light from surrounding stars. so she can see but shes not emitting a beacon/torch of her own as not to give herself away.

as shes out there and hiding and trying to figure out what to do, how to contact her ship, figure out what's actually going on here, etc., the egg/pod ends up hatching and being like a weird little alien moth baby that is dissimilar to the bat aliens currently residing on this planet. ((((((my initial CRINGE thought is that like, these eggs/pods respond to like, idk MATERNITY so its been dormant for potentially years, and philippas like, secretly pregnant and it bonds/imprints on her as its mother or w/e. if i dont end up going that indulgent route you can just say that it liked the cut of her gib or something lmao. soul-related,,, ummmm good heart,,,,, etc.))))))

i figure they spend a few days together hiding. i think she'd talk to it to keep herself sane lol. maybe kinda confide a few fears she has regarding motherhood, struggles with her mother lol,,,, talk about delivering her sister's baby maybe,,,, other things too like shes just talking to this baby lmao. was talking to jellybeans about the name Moss for him haha, i think itd be cute if she just literally names him after moss. very uncreative placeholder type name that sticks. anyway baby eventually starts crying, shes worried shes gonna get caught with it, she does lmao, but by some bat aliens living in the outskirts of the planet-ship. these bats are all more visually similar to the frantic one that'd given her the egg. they discover what she has (moth baby lol) and they take her to their hideout/camp where they explain their race's history and that of the lil alien she's now charged with reluctantly taking care of. which iiiis...

the planet-ship was originally that of the moth aliens, a long time ago they took in the bat aliens that were as in need of light for some reason as much as if not more than they were, they cohabitated for a bit but eventually the bats start like overpopulating or something. ITS STILL ROUGH IN MY HEAD. i figure the moth aliens are super smart, but have a moral code that the scrungly bat aliens dont end up vibing all too much. somehow somewhy the bats end up starting to use the moth's DNA/blood, (maybe via infusion?) blending it with their own through unnatural means, in order to like, artificially augment or evolve themselves, get smarter, thus why theyve physically changed so much in appearance is because theyre like, idk living off of their blood or something to maintain their states of mind.

they also tell her that the lil baby is the last of his kind and he'd likely be safer somewhere away from this place where they cant use him anymore. (maybe the eggs are effectively preserved/ageless and supply the bats with longer lasting access to blood idk) they dont know or understand how philippa got it to hatch (maybe she does know but shes not gonna tell them. shes still repressing/ignoring the elephant in the room (pregnant) lmao). but his existence is kinda a big deal bc it proves what theyre saying and the other bats would likely not want that info coming to light or preventing them from joining starfleet or w/e. maybe their planet-ship is becoming less and less sustainable and theyre like Girl Help Lol.

philippa asks the outskirt bats for their help in getting in contact with her ship and off of the planet and they do. im sure its bumpy haha but i havent thought about this part much it just eventually happens and she makes it back to her ship, she confides in her CMO that she's pregnant (maybe) and he knows her well enough to be like "i know," bc she like, didnt get her medical examination out of the way right at the start of their departure or something and kept putting it off so ppl wouldnt know lol. ANYWAY, lil baby is given special treatment to start adapting his lungs to a new atmosphere which is long and arduous and philippa stays by his side through a lot of it. its not like she cares or is worried or anything!!!!!!!!!!!!

eventually gets back to earth, still hasnt really told anyone her news or the fact that shes kinda adoptively taking care of this baby now. i think we'd talk about her showing up to tell Jace and her initially perceiving philippa with a baby and being like 'omg' and then reading peppa's very loud thoughts and being like 'OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' haha. EVEN MORE VAGUE IDEAS WITH JJ LOLLLLLLL, has to do with my big question mark surrounding his starfleet career and everything, but theyre both like "omg we arent even dating lol hi" about it.

*falls asleep*

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

i dont ship stizzy but i cant deny the comedic potential in making their dynamic into something romantic. these two incredibly dramatic gay men hate each other on sight for no fucking reason and are incredibly petty no holds barred. izzy slashed up stede's shirt in a slutty way for no reason. stede called him iggy for no reason. and like this all happens before ed there's no reason for it they just fucking hate each other!!!

so anyway the dynamic here is obviously that they start hate fucking at some point and then fall in love on accident and obviously they're both SO MAD about it (shoutout to this post by @notebooks-and-laptops). but also once they realize their own feelings they also realize it's MUTUAL. minimal angst there imo i dont see angsty pining for stede and izzy sorry. they probably realize because stede stede calls izzy darling in bed one time and izzy moans to it really loud and then suddenly instead of hate fucking it's slow passionate and they're making love and right after that theyre both staring up at the ceiling like. fuck. fuck. i cannot believe im in love with this prick. this is the worst day of my life.

which leads to "i-love-you" chicken where neither of them say it. not because theyre afraid to but bc they don't want to lose. like they dont talk about it but it becomes clear that whoever admits that they genuinely care about the other first loses. lose what? idk their dignity. bragging rights. cannot stress enough how much this happens without them verbally communicating abt it they just KNOW and they know that the other one knows and they’re both trying so hard not to say it but also trying to get the other one to say it first

so they try to aggressively woo the other one with like over-the-top romantic gestures (gifts and acts of service or whatever idk i dont care enough abt this ship to think of examples). and whenever like stede is trying to woo izzy all he gets is izzy being like “fuck off bonnet” and a huge prick and vice versa for when izzy tries to woo stede (idk what either of them do to woo each other and i don’t care enough abt this ship to think of anything sorry). and the crew is like “i thought stede and izzy were past this silly squabbling”

and idk maybe this is steddyhands in which case the crew is asking ed “doesnt it bother you that theyre at each other’s throats again?” and ed (who’s been having the time of his life watching the two of them have incredibly passionate and romantic but also angry and competitive sex for weeks) is like. oh im sure they’ll work through this little spat in no time.

in my head izzy breaks first when stede gets severely wounded in a raid and while he’s unconscious and healing izzy is like “you piece of shit i love you so much you cant die now” and THAT’S when stede wakes up and is like “HA!!! YOU ADMITTED IT FIRST!!!!! I WIN!!!!!!!!!!” and he rips his stitches from laughing so hard and roach has to sew him up again before he bleeds out

[ge]

can I hear more abt your trans chung myung thoughts please

.

HEHE ANYTHING FOR YOU MY ANGELS... trans chung myung is like my number one, most well loved & personal, firmest hc evur.. no matter what he is always trans to me idk..he is like the most trans character ive ever seen its sooo real to me.. ive said it once ill say it again, chung myungs lore is literally impact by his transsexualism and im the only one who sees it.. if u get it u get it... a little cw for minor transphobia out of ignorance, not prejudice..⬇️

i always imagined that chung myung knew he was trans since he was very young, like 'beginning to comprehend words and what they mean' young.. he always got angry and aggressive when his sect siblings called him young lady or samae, sajeo, etc, lashing out even at elders to the point hed get in trouble over it... i think pretty quickly everyone figured out if they just 'humoured' him, he'd get over whatever phase he was in and stop being so troublesome, so they did.. at first they began using more masculine terms and honourifics in a 'wink wink nudge' indulgent kind of way but they noticed as he got older, he started inserting himself into more male dominated spaces, even going so far as to bathe and groom himself w the other male disciples

at first it kind of set off red flags for everyone who were still under the impression chung myung was still just going through his little 'phase' but i think chung mun was the first who stepped up and actually ASKED chung myung about it.. he pulls chung myung to the side one day and asks WHY chung myung keeps doing the things he does and chung myung frowns and says because im a boy sahyung..DUH.. chung myung explains the best he can but bc he doesnt really know how to articulate himself on these matters (doesnt know any other trans people or experiences outside of his own and cant put it into words properly) and bc chung mun is cis, chung mun is still a little confused but now he understands chung myung isnt like..joking about this, or going through some sort of phase.. he seemed genuinely put out and upset when implied chung mun didnt understand him so from that day forward chung mun very firmly introduces chung myung to everyone in the sect as their littlest brother and that was pretty much that..

it probably took some people a while to wrap their head around, but because i dont want anyone in mt hua to be transphobic LOL they all understand and accept chung myung as their new baby brother pretty quickly and soon they dont even bat an eye seeing him train topless or bathe w the rest of the guys, doing other guy dominated activities, etc.. when he got older it was just normalized that one of their brothers had boobs..literally nobody gaf theyre REAL trans allies.. mount hua most PROGRESSIVE MARTIAL ARTS SECT

also majorly hc chung myung does not have any bodily dysphoria/morphia and is perfectly fine w the way he looks, especially after he gets older and starts building lots of muscle, so he never undergoes any gender affirming surgeries but he does take wuxia testosterone pills.. cuz i think the idea of wuxia magic hormone pills is hilarious and awesome

ive also put some thought into whether cho sams body would be trans or cis, because either could be interesting.. i feel like if cho sam were cis it would actually invoke body image issues and dysphoria in chung myung, having been thrust into a body so unfamiliar & alien to him than the one he spent the most time living in and caring for.. i dont really think too much in depth about this tho so my thoughts on it are pretty vague.. is cho sam cis or trans? (shrugs) up to you!

ummm *scratches ass* i cant think of anything else to say.. trans chung myung is so awesomesauce and i love projecting my own transmasc wants and desires onto him and into a world that accepts and loves him for who he is.. i have more thoughts about his relationship w tang bo and the world around them and how they view him but those are a little more personal and nuanced so i wont get into all dat.... when rotmhs gets more popular i hope trans chung myung hc blows up cuz its sooo real... something something chung myungs reincarnation into cho sam is a trans allegory

[petewentzisblack1312]

any beginners advice for flight rising?

the number one rule of flight rising is have fun and be yourself. the number two rule of flight rising is the economy is out to get you.

because of the way the loot tables work if youre low level in scavenging you seemingly have a much higher chance of getting unhatched eggs that way, just because there arent that many other things you can get at that level. they sell for a lot of either currency on the auction house so if you get one a good way to get money is to sell it. a lot of people, myself included, are quite sentimental and hatching unhatched eggs is fun bc its like a gacha but what constitutes a good pull is completely subjective. hatch or dont, do what you want.

that being said, if you hatch an unhatched egg and get a double, or if youre insanely lucky, a triple (that is a dragon with 2 or 3 of the same colours) because of how rare that is and how easy it is to make an aesthetically cohesive dragon with 2 or 3 of the colours being the same, theyre very very valuable. i once got a one off triple charcoal and sold it in an auction (different from the auction house) for 25kg. however. thats incredibly unlikely. if youre hatching unhatched eggs to make money off of what you hatch, you will make a loss. just sell the eggs. hatch eggs for the thrill of the chase.

people generally prefer unbred dragons, especially unbred g1s. however, you can breed your dragons if you want. i do! its your dragons, do what you want with them. itll tank the resale value but how sad would that be to have something that you love that you never really get to love because you might make money on it some day. breed any dragons you want if you want to. dont breed any if you dont. and i recommend not breeding anything you have as an investment.

maxing out your lucky streak in the fairgrounds every day is a solid way to make money. i used to do that when i was new, stopped, and started again when achievements were introduced. 75k treasure a day is really nothing to sneeze at. glimmer and gloom is the fastest but i know some people have trouble learning the algorithm or otherwise cant stand it. pick your poison!

the number one piece of advice i ever got in flight rising is to avoid any trades with crim worth more than 500 treasure. i would tack on 'unless its a battlestone other than one used for popular coliseum builds'. if shes offering more than 500 its probably apparel or something that you could sell on the auction house for more.

this really depends on what type of player you turn out to be, but i personally wish i thought a little harder about breeding my dragons. i take their ancestry into account in my lore but when i started i used my permas (dragons that you intend to keep) for fodder breeding and boy do i regret that. im attached to these dragons but they have a long list of offspring that are exalted. id say dragons you think are cool and dragons you want to breed should be a venn diagram that is almost two circular tangents unless youre sure you dont care. but also. lifes short. breed your progens 50gazillion times if you really want to. exalt them even. who give a fuck.

someone tricked a friend of mine this way so just so you know leveling to 25 is for dragons that you plan to grind with it is strategically not a good idea to level dragons to exalt to 25. ive already explained the value of doubles and triples so i dont think youll end up randomly exalting one of em.

if you can use the coliseum and you dont hate it i do recommend investing in a team to train fodder to exalt or to grind the coliseum and resell materials. one of the biggest flaws of fr is actually how dependent it currently is on the coliseum for gameplay. theres new gameplay in the pipeline. but its not imminent.

theres more. i cant think of it. keep asking questions if you want

[quodekash]

ITS ABAAB EP 7 TIME and i am sorry 

warning: lots of happiness, too much happiness. take a shot of water every time i say any variation of ‘HAPPY’. stay hydrated, folks. 

wait what happened to cher? did i miss something? 

i dont remember how the last episode ended so its very possible that i missed something 

awh 🥺

thE BED IS STILL ON AN ANGLE WHY IS THE BED ON AN ANGLE SOMEONE FIX THIS IM BEGGING YOU, ITS GOTTA BE A SAFETY HAZARD 

pls they look so comfy 

it looks like theyve been married for a thousand lifetimes 

so comfyyyyy

rIGHT, THEIR GROUP HAD A FIGHT, THAT’S WHAT HAPPENED TO CHER, I REMEMBER NOW 

YEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEAH BEACH EPISODE = PURE HAPPINESS AND DOPAMINE 

THREEZO AT THE BEACH 

WE’RE GONNA GET THREEZO AT THE BEACH 

IM LITERALLY ABOUT TO CRY IN ANTICIPATION OF BEACH

i know i already said it like four times BUT THIS LOOKS SO FREAKING COMFY WHAT THE HELL 

THREEZO THREEZO THREEZO

HELLO MY LOVELIES HOW ARE YOU TODAY 

theyre literally in the middle of the frame omg 

little babby 

i love him 

he’s tall but he’s smol 

his HAIR 

LOOK AT IT 

THE HAIR IS SO FLUFFY 

i think my favourite things about this series are jack’s hair and threezo

and theyre both tied for first place 

three’s apology to jack is so freaking sweet omg 

i love him too much 

he struggles with words and communicating but he wants everyone to be happy and he doesnt want conflict and he feels responsible for everything and he is perfection and also he’s either adhd or asd or both, i dont make the rules 

HAPPY

omg his awkward laugh is so cute why was that so cute 

his sweet little ‘hah hah’ 

HIS FACE MAKES ME HAPPY 

HAPPYYYYY 

(damn i did gun/force dirty on that screenshot) 

his freaking face

its making me happy 

this is a happiness overload 

im not used to this much joy in my system 

what do i do with it 

HAPPYYYYYYYYY

dads. 

everyone can see you btw. just letting you know. you’re just standing there, holding hands 

i mean that’s great, good job, not being scared is funky (but its also funky to be scared), it’s just that. you know. if your friends ask questions later and you dont want them to suspect anything then like. it’s your fault. 

altho maybe they dont care if their friends find out, idk at this point 

ignore me

HAPPY

everyone ganging up to push gun in the water. that’s what friendship truly is 

HAPPY

they teleported 

three was next to zo, jack was between cher and zo. they switched. 

hOW?

HAPPYYYYY

THE HAIR

LOOK AT THE HAIR 

they always figure out a way to squeeze it in 

OMG

SOBBING

IM SOBBING

THATS SO CUTE 

HELP

DAMN RIGHT 

his hair is a mess lmao

bRO

HE SAID IT

HE SAID THE THING 

ZOGUN FRIENDSHIP BONDING SCENE OMG HAPPINESS 

he’s known from the very freaking beginning 

before cher even knew 

the gaydar is strong bro 

HIS FREAKING FACE 

HAPPY

HE HAPPY 

PFFFFFFT

i love their friendship so much omg 

(that screenshot looks like hes about to punch him lmao) 

“zo, what is love?” i can feel it, im about to punch a wall or smth bc something threezo is coming 

“what is love for you?” “three.” yUP I KNEW IT OMG IM GONNA FREAKING CRY 

HAIR

FLUFFY FLUFFY FLUFFY ITS SO FLUFFY 

i think i love this man (and his hair) a little too much but its fine 

GJK3BERKJGBVRKEBGR

GUN WHAT THE HELL 

AGAIN, THEY LOOK SO FREAKING COMFY 

well shoot. thoop is mad at cher for being involved with gun. 

good news is: i dont think its homophobia 

it’s just that he doesnt want cher to move on from tian (thoop himself cant move on from tian) and he doesnt want cher to find a relationship because that means, in thoop’s eyes, he’s letting tian go, and thoop cant really deal with that because he’s ✨mentally ill✨

get some sleep my man 

I LOVE HOW MUCH HE LOVES HIS FRIENDS 

HES SO FREAKING CARING 

HE WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR HIS FRIENDS 

HED PROBABLY NEVER ADMIT IT BUT HE’S A REAL FREAKING SOFTY ON THE INSIDE 

1. ive never seen more serious finger guns 

2. you’re not bi, sir, why are you doing finger guns 

3. finger GUNs 

that is all 

FINAL THOUGHTS: 

if they dont give us a threezo kiss by the end of this show i will scream. 

[borderline-culture-is]

(Long vent that may mot be ordered right or make sense bc im tired rn)

I’m so fucking done with this life tbh. Like from the bottom of my heart. I wish i can kill myself but im too scared. Thats that damn problem though, im still forcing myself to suffer because im a coward, i cant even make ip my mind to end it. I cant get therapy, or any type of medication because my parents dont care enough to notice even tho my symptoms are very bad. and even when i become an adult, id probably not be able to. I have no dreams for the future, i have no money, nothing. ill probably have to live with them for way longer. And im still not going to be able to kms ofc, im going to live very long and THATS THE PROBLEM. I cant fucking tell snyone irl about my mental issues because im too ashamed. In fact, im so fucking embarrassed that i fake a personality everyday to make myself as perfect as possible. Everyone thinks im really nice, kind, and patient. When in fact im really a fucking shitty person who just pretends to be cool and shit. All because im too fucking embarrassed to admit im mentally ill. How could anyone like me for who i actually am?? Hell, I cant even admit im autistic, even though its nothing to be ashamed of. I just know my parents will laugh at me and id rather die than hear it from them

Im at my fucking limits everyday, and im tired all the time even if notbing even happened. I have anxiety attacks weekly for no reason at all, and no one knows. I hate being this good at masking.

I cry in my room all the time, and sometimes i have to force myself to let it out because im so numb. I hate it when im breaking down and my parents are in the kitchen laughing and enjoying themsleves like its just another day.

I feel so apathetic and nihlisitic. I have felt lonely my entire life because i cant relate to anyone. I know people only like the person they see on the surface, not the person i am inside

Ive told many people online about my issues, and i dont know if its not helping much or im too numb to feel any good emotions. But either way, ive realised that it might hurt me too. Im just normalising living this way more because im able to vent to people without actually getting any professional help. And this is just one out of the billions of unhealthy coping mechanisms i have. But i have no other choice. I need to cope somehow because i cant get treatment, and if these mechanisms dont work, i need to try harder and make myself more ill. Its not like i can be fixed anymore, so oh fucking well.

yesterday, my parents confronted me abt how i always looked tired, they asked me if i was being bullied at school. That pissed me off. Why?? Have they ever took the time to realise they maybe theyre the ones causing it?? No, i am not being bullied, and the only reason for that is my good masking skills. Do i need to get bullied to be ill enough? Am i still not bad enough for you to care??

-🌟

.

[malka-lisitsa]

What's it like dating Katherine?

I'm so glad that you asked!

I see a LOT of 'Dating Katherine would consist of-" Posts and they're all so romanticized its so unrealistic!!! So let me tell you what dating Katherine is ACTUALLY LIKE, because she is NOT an easy person to be with!

Now quick disclaimer here- this doesn't mean she isn't a good person to date and that it's all bad. It's NOT and I will definitely list the entire spectrum here good and bad- but Katherine is not for the faint of heart and if yall want to fantasize about what dating her would be like you need the real guide book.

SO here's what dating Katherine Pierce would be like.

Katherine is BPD this is a terrible condition that affects her ability to maintain relationships especially.

Paranoid delusions are v common, Katherine has incredible trust issues already (can you blame her) so paired up with paranoia she would be very suspicious at completely random times. One day she could be completely ok with x person being around you and then the next day she could be so insecure and jealous bc her head has convinced her that you are in fact cheating on her.

Katherine's rapid mood swings? Not cute! :D She can go from fine, to white hot rage in a split second and then if you blink shes sobbing! WHY? SHE DOESN'T FUCKING KNOW!! And to top it all off!! She doesn't know what to do with herself when she has these mood swings! Could be anything from isolation, to being needy, or even lashing out randomly! Its a surprise for EVERYONE INVOLVED!!

Picking fights! Legitimate fights out of nowhere! Why? Bc abandonment issues! You're gonna leave her anyway why shouldn't she be in control of that right? She will push you away viciously!! The guess what?? After that episode is over she will try to smooth it over and pull you back because she doesnt actually want to lose you- shes just SCARED and has zero emotional regulation!

She will TEST YOU CONSTANTLY and you will never know, you will never be trained, or given a guide you are expected to know what the right thing to do with/for her is and if you DONT- FIGHT. This is super common in BPD, these tests and theyre almost ALWAYS unreasonable, again bc if you fail the test she gets to pick a fight and rationalize you dont actually care about her and she should push you away before you hurt her.

Intense emotions! My GOD lets not forget that she not only feels things vampire intense but she feels them BPD intense ON TOP OF THAT. SHE WILL BE UNREASONABLE. OFTEN. IT IS NOT HER FAULT. She literally has no control over it. She is not logical when triggered it is ALL emotional lizard brain. If you push her she will bite you- no middle ground.

She will get scared, and she will most likely try to run, or push you away. Anyone who can reach you, can hurt you- and Katherine has a built in warning system when someone starts to get close enough they can actually hurt her- the the instinct to sabotage that relationship kicks in.

Katherine is an impulsive liar. You will be lied to. Probably over the stupidest shit like 'we're out of nuggets' so you pick her up something else on the way home. Also probably about important shit. Katherine's most common lie is 'im fine'

Katherine is POSSESSIVE and she is NOT shy about it either. Reactions can vary from some heavy PDA to actual violence...

Dating Katherine is dealing with her insomnia. It's dealing with her waking up screaming, or in tears. It's having her climb in your lap to sleep because she needs to feel safe. Remember this girl has been HUNTED and FUCKED WITH for 500 YEARS. SAFE is never a default feeling for her. She is ALWAYS in fight or flight mode and it's EXHAUSTING when your brain keeps telling you 'cant sleep now there are enemies near by'

Dating Katherine is never knowing whats going on in her head because she wont tell you. You need to learn her very subtle language she communicates in to understand her mental state.

its katherine having very little emotional maturity, and lashing out at the first sign of rejection or criticism. Its Katherine having black and white thinking NO grey area.

Its learning a whole new dialect just to be able to understand what she actually means when she says or does certain things.

But it's also katherine routinely playing games with you. Random games of tag. Making up new rules youve never heard of in checkers that she swears are legit she learned them in mexico. Its secretly throwing games sometimes so she can win and you get to keep playing that game...

Its her snooping through your stuff to get to know you, because while she could just ask, she needs enrichment and snooping is very fun for her.

Its her plopping herself down next to you because she just wants to be around you (even if its picking a fight for attention)

It's her head on your chest as she listens to your heart beat and falls asleep on you.

Its seeing the way she looks at you, with a love so powerful you cant even imagine what it feels like.

its her doing little things to express that she loves you. Thes things vary from doing a chore, to leaving you a present, kissing you randomly, asking to cuddle and watch a movie- its a wide variety she uses to express herself with.

its her asking you to watch videos with her or read to her.

it's finding out all of the little details she knows about you, all the tiny stuff most people don't notice, that she has learned and even likes about you.

its her cooking you one of her 4 known and perfected dishes randomly.

its quiet evenings of just existing in each others company as you do whatever

its play fighting, that turns into a make out session.

its mind blowing sex tbh

Its being loved with a love that was more than love-

its waking up next to this beautifully complex creature and knowing she picked you.

Nah, dating Katherine is not a walk in the park. It takes a very special and dedicated person with a lot of courage to handle this girl. It takes someone with patience. Someone with determination, and the ability to love her at her absolute worst. It takes someone willing to UNDERSTAND that she is not always in control of her behaviors. That she is just as fed up and scared and done with the way shes acting, but shes TRAPPED on the inside of her own head just WATCHING herself tear shit apart and she cant do ANYTHING to stop it.

It takes someone willing to meet her aggression with a gentle hand. It takes someone who will reassure her constantly that they love her and want her. It takes someone who understands that she needs special treatment most people would deem unreasonable or entitled. It's a toxic relationship until you learn the cheat codes to bypass her defense mechanisms. It takes time and dedication. So if you're thinking all of that sounds toxic and terrible, then you honestly don't deserve all the good, all the light she can be when handled properly.

Katherine is a girl who loves harder than most people could even imagine. She's dedicated. Shes smart. Shes a wonderful charismatic person- but she is DAMAGED and requires special care- so if you cant handle the care needs for an exotic animal, it's best you just visit every now and then and let someone whos willing to put in the effort, reap the immense benefits. Dating Katherine, LOVING KATHERINE- it isnt EASY.... but it's WORTH IT.

I'm sure I missed a few things for good AND bad but honestly you get the jist.

[hella1975]

Hi hella!!!

I feel like i always start these off or end them by saying that these things are going to be incomprehensible in some way, mainly bc i have trouble translating whats going on in my mind into written words so i really dont know how much of my list thingies make sense to you but this one is especially probably going to not make much sense. (also bc i send them a lot when im either very tired or not sober, but i am sober and wide awake rn so this might be a different kind of incomprehensible)

I found one of my old drafts for an ask from around a year ago and it was a follow up response to the last chapter you posted at the time, so im not sure how its going to sound without the context of that specific chapter, but i also mentioned in one of my other asks that i add stuff in last minute and that ask i added a shit ton of stuff so i dont have any of that pretyped out so im going by memory.  But im sending it again bc i havent seen you answer it 

(please do not interpret this as ‘why didnt you answer my ask >:/’ or me rushing you to answer asks or anything like that, but like I said its been a year so im assuming tumblr ate it.  If not and you just havent cleaned out your ask box and you find the original, congratulations you’ll know what i originally said.  Bc idk how accurate this will be)

SO

Theres two different ways that you seem to write metaphors (idk if thats what theyre called im not caught up on my literary terminology)

 (im scrolling through your blog rn looking for my other asks and tumblr really did you dirty in your asks system like i started scrolling and the third one down was from 2021 and im fighting for my life trying to find my tag (thank you for my tag btw its very useful to me))

Anywho, most of your metaphors ( to me) can be split into two categories.  Theres the simple ones and the complex ones.  Now this might seem obvious but im going to explain to you how these have different effects on my brain.  

An example of the ‘simple’ ones is  

““If Nanook’s tone had a note of seriousness, then Zuko’s was the entire orchestra.”” (idk what chapter this is from its been a while)

You have a lot of these kinds of whatever the haick kind of literary technique this is (is this a metaphor i’ve been trying to google it for like ½ an hour and i cant figure it out) BUT these type of things that are simple and easy to process is one of my favorite things about the way you write.  I think this is a very common technique but the way you do it to me is just a lot more unique than the ways ive seen it done before.  Its extremely fluent with the voice of the characters and brings a perfect kind of vibe to the ‘conversation’ (or story, text, whatever) and it paints the picture of what your trying to say perfectly.  I also really like how these types of things arent ever in Zukos pov a lot (sometimes it is, but not nearly as much, I’ve noticed) and its not in the more serious like revelations that you drop these in.  Like I said, it adds to the voice of the characters, bc of the contrast of Zuko constantly having revelations and dramatic archs and stuff, and the other characters just in general being a lot more calm.  Its like when youre listening to a song and you have the lyrics and the like ‘main’ music behind the lyrics, but then when you listen to the song a lot you notice the smaller, like backup music that adds a lot to the song and makes it a lot more enjoyable than if it was just the lyrics and the louder more up front music.  

Then in contrast you have the bigger ‘metaphors’ 

An example of this is ‘You curse in words already invented’ 

THIS IS MY FAVORITE LINE IN THE ENTIRE FIC.  

OF ANY FIC OR BOOK EVER READ

AND THIS IS WHY

When I tell you I could not figure out what this meant for months I am AWFUL with stuff like this and interpreting it my english teachers hate me bc of it.  Id have the question ‘why were the curtains blue’ and my answer would be ‘bc the people who decorated the room like blue maybe theyre interior designers and it goes with the room 😊 and thats so hot of them bc i love blue too’  

But even thought i couldnt figure it out it stayed in my head and i probably thought about it once a day (i mean this literally, i think about that part all the time) and i cant remember the context for that or anything but i do remember that i knew it was a wonderful phrase.  

I’ve mentioned in my other asks how whenever im reading anything at all that you’ve written (whether its tams, or toab, or in the tags of something even if its like 10 words), everything you type comes out so fluidly like a formula or a color wheel or however i put it last time i talked about this.  And this is on the prodigious end of the spectrum of this.  

But phrases like that are another part of the fic, theyre like the lyrics of the song.  Like the phrases that gets all the attention and gets put in fanart and that gets quoted in comment sections because they deserve that recognition and you deserve that recognition and are just a reminder of how incredibly talented you are.  

I mean that in the most sincere way that i know how to express.  

I am constantly in awe of you and your writing style, and i really do think of you as one of the most talented writers of everything ive ever read.  

And something else worth mentioning is that it isnt just your ao3 that portrays that.  Like if I were to just read your ao3 I’d be like ‘oh wow this person is an amazing writer’ But your tumblr persona plays into it a lot more (In my opinion).  Because then you see like more ‘backround’ stuff on ao3.  And more of your system (im not articulating this in the way i mean it very well) and you get privy to the fact that you’re not a 30 year old with a masters in english and that you’ve never had any formal education on writing.  I vaguely remember you talking about a story about a sailor (??? i might be misremembering that) that you wrote when you were a child and thinking ‘oh wow so she’s always been like that’.  And its stuff like that that you dont get on ao3 that kind of reaffirms how incredible of a writer you are.  

And this (to me) makes you a really easy person to admire.  (ik i touched on this in a different ask but i dont remember if it was one of my list asks or not) but as someone who probably isnt going to ever be able to get an education around writing, it kind of reassures me that i dont need that to be great at it.  

(i kind of feel like a lot of the stuff in this ask is too like ‘simple’ or obvious to be given a lot of weight, but this whole thing is about the kinds of things you do that brings me personally joy and the metaphors are one of them so)

Also on an off note when i was looking through your asks to try to find my tag, I noticed that i send you a heavy percentage of your anonymous asks (mainly without my alias) and I thought that was funny.  But also i hope it doesnt come across as obsessive or weird, I swear i do that to a lot of people on here, I’m just a very social person.  .😂

Also Im in your tbos server (lurking in the shadows) and someone pointed out that whenever you do the reaction emojis you always do the white ones, and thats going on the official ‘my favorite things about hella’ list because that was genuinely one of the funniest things ive seen. 

Also the ‘anytime you type its very fluid (im too lazy to scroll up and see how i put it rn) also carrys on to discord.  I think that i could probably block out the user names and be able to figure out that its you talking every time, you have a very distinct way of talking.  

Also i wanted to mention that every time you answer these i read them again and i want to say like 1/3 of what i sasy, i have no recollection of. And i never have any idea what im talking about. so i think thats funny.

LIST ANONNNNNNNNNNNNN BAWLING MY EYES OUT HELLO BABY WELCOME BACK FROM WAR IVE MISSED YOU IM JUST HERE LIKE THIS RN

[voidimp]

Desire, guilt and hunt for oli?

desire: What's one thing your OC wants more than anything in the world? Are they open with that desire? Why or why not? What would they do to fulfill it?

this is always such a tough question for me to answer bc the concept of Having An End Goal is such a foreign concept to me. ppl are really out here trying to do specific things?? knowing what they want out of life? i could never. & honestly like... obviously i cant give that to every character bc it would get boring real fast but i think i can give it to oli. i dont think they really have something in mind!! im not sure they would be able to answer the question themself, in terms of either material or immaterial goals. like especially being. however old they are (at least a century at this point idk specifically) theyve done a lot of things, theyve had a lot of experiences, theyve definitely collected lots of stuff. i think they tend to just go after something until they either get it or get bored of trying.

to kind of answer the second part, it would depend on the specifics; they might be open about it, if they think that would help them obtain it, & they probably wouldnt ask for help but might try to convince people to help in a less direct way. they dont like to ever seem like they need assistance from other people... even when they do.

i guess for a more serious answer their main goal is just be the freedom to do whatever they want forever lmao

guilt: What is your OC guilty about? How do they handle their guilt? Do they try to avoid guilt, or do they accept it?

REPRESS THAT SHIT!!! NEVER FEEL BAD ABOUT YOUR PAST ACTIONS except when they compound & u suddenly break down & have a panic attack about it BUT THATS PRIVATE!!!!!

theyre very stubborn, so they try to convince themself that their actions were justified, that they just did what they had to, but theyre... not always right. theyll overreact & then act like they had no other choice but still feel bad about it & pretend they dont. it kind of just ends with a lot of conflicting feelings all around.

as for what theyre guilty about, um. well the killing people is definitely the big one. it hasnt actually happened often, despite the whole being a vampire thing (generally speaking the amount of blood theyd be taking wouldnt actually be enough to kill someone), but theres a few instances they havent quite gotten over yet. they still have some lingering guilt about their brothers death back when they were kids, even though it wasnt their fault. theres not much else coming to mind thats really notable, theyve definitely got some bad habits that theyre not super proud of but no particular instances that were more significant than the rest.

one thing theyre not guilty about (usually) is whatever happens as a result of them sharing the bits of information theyve picked up about people. if they dont want their secrets getting out, they should be a little better at keeping them secret.

hunt: Who or what is your OC hunted by? A person, a feeling, a past mistake? Is your OC able to let their guard down, or are they constantly alert?

ok so. this one has been tripping me up for fucking ever. i do not know how to answer it. if it was haunt i think i could answer it more easily (oli has been around for a while, theyve done a lot of things & known a lot of people & made more than their fair share of mistakes) but hunt? i dont know that theres really anything or anyone in particular theyre hunted by. i feel like it would be a more situational thing? like if theyve pissed someone off recently, or if someone has caught onto the vampire thing... so i guess like. not really anything specific, just the looming threat that someone could have their eye on them?