#I can't wait another 4 years
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Tried to do something galaxy like... Yeah TRIED.
Screw it... I've got the idea out of my system. That's all that matters.
#good omens#good omens 2#good omens spoilers#renew good omens#how can I've ever be ok with the season 2 ending#I desperately need season 3#but like now#I can't wait another 4 years#I'm gonna die till then#mine
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always ily and never ykiwmywyghbauasaicvlatbmmadrtetm
#stobotnik#agent stone#dr robotnik#if you get the caption#you're gay#haven't drawn or posted in so long#hopefully it looks okay#I need the trailer to come out asap#apparently its supposed to drop today#can't wait to see them on the big screen again#I will try and post again and not in another 4 years#I love them so much i've missed them#had incredible wrist and back pain while trying to make this#gonna go play league now
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2020 -> 2024
Got frustrated/demotivated while drawing tonight. Closed my paint program and ended up morosely browsing through my old art folders. Realized I am improving even if it doesn't feel like it. I just gotta keep drawing and learning.
#can't wait to see what my art will look like in another 4 years#star wars rebels#kanan jarrus#ezra bridger#kanezra#redraw#hjbenderart#art progress#this isn't a totally fair comparison since it's a sketch vs finished lineart but still#normally i'd rather die than show the world my ugly sketches but i figure this might help other struggling artists#gotta remember i do this for fun and not compare myself with pros who have gone to art college and do this 24/7 for a living
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"you don't look lost, but you don't look found"
#ts4#the sims 4#sims 4 CAS#ts4 CAS#adventures in cas#my sims#cas#dnd sims#fantasy sims#ts4 fantasy#ts4 dnd#oc: Rook#I saw this shirt and I immediately KNEW I had to put it on him.#it's perfect for him.#I really wanna make another edit of him but we'll see...#also I commissioned art of him and I can't wait to see the final full render. I'm going to fucking lose my mind when I get it.#I'm gonna print it and put it on my wall /srs#genuinely this commission is the best decision I've made this whole year.
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really need to legally change my name at some point but i just really really hate paperwork and struggle to get started on it especially if it has multiple steps
#it's been literal years and like i send like 2 email enquiries but didn’t really get the answer i need and then i gave up lol#it's just bc it doesn't affect my day to day life but also once i change my name i need a new passport asap but i can probably only change#my name by being physically in the Netherlands and then I'd have to wait for the passport to get back home to the UK... and like i only hav#20 holidays a year and am not allowed to work from home really or maybe 2 days a week now so like#also i have to use 3 of the holidays for the time the company closes around Christmas#so yeah ig next year i could take all of my holidays to be in the Netherlands for almost 4 weeks and hope thatll be enoug#but that's all my holidays and i can't take unpaid holidays#maybe another way is possible but i can't find anything bc trans people living abroad needing to change their names is kinda niche ig#also once i change my name i have to change my name on like my bank card and everywhere else and idk how to do that etc bc i won't be a#british person doing it so it will be different#honestly never changing my name is just so tempting#but you know it would be good to be able to be stealth#*sent sorry#i always make this mistake even though i know how to do it correctly
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where’s my son where’s my son where’s my son whERE’S MY SON WHERE’S MY SON WHERE’S MY SON WHERE’S MY SON WHERE’S MY SON-
#literally me that entire finale#i feel so cheated rn#i was watching how much time was left in the episode the entire time#and there's a particular point where your mindset shifts from hmm maaybe they can squeeze in all the resolutions and everything#to oh that's why they're saying there's gonna be another season :(#bye ml fandom can't wait to see u again in abt 4 years when the next ml finale drops 😭#miraculous ladybug#miraculous ladybug season 5#mlb#ml s5 spoilers#ml spoilers#ml s5 finale#ml the last day#ml conformation
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HAPPY PULP MUSICALS EPISODE 4 ON SPOTIFY DAY!!!
So I was on track to post this earlier this morning but then my day got busy- but now I'm HERE on Tumblr- so before I forget again:
#pulp musicals#matt dahan#pulp musicals ep 4#pulp musicals episode 4#the searcher in the shadows#pulp musicals the searcher in the shadows#IT'S HERE IT'S HERE THANK YOU MATT#2025 is year of Pulp Musicals you best believe it#AHHH WE FINALLY HAVE THE FULL SET- for now- hehe can't wait for the next adventure#happy pulp musicals on spotify day#ANOTHER PULP MUSICALS HAS HIT THE AIRWAVES#I CANNOT WAIT TO DO A FULL ALBUM LISTEN AGAIN#and add things I didn't notice before to my pulp musicals masterdoc of episode notes#yes I have a pulp musicals masterdoc#can't wait to take -100000 emotional damage when I get to the end of this episode though oof lol
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As someone who relatively enjoyed MI7 (bc I go no thoughts mode and just watch Tom run around), im sooo curious about your thoughts
im putting this under the cut cause I need to rant about it again and its gonna be LONG, thank you for asking tho
a lot of this is gonna be a repeat of what I said when I watched the movie (I have not seen it since it was in theatres), idk where those posts are but they should be under #mi7 spoilers if you wanna find them.
okay first off im not gonna talk about the overall plot, I couldn't care less about it and I knew that going into the movie. its the stunts and the overall feel of that movie that piss me off. I watch mi movies because I wanna have a good time and watch tom cruise do cool stuff and thats not what I got out of this movie.
im starting with the cliff jump stunt cause I was just thinking about it. the buildup was Ass with a capital A. they cut away from ethan riding up the mountain too many times and for too long at a time. I was comparing it to the scene when ethans chasing walker in fallout because to me that was cut perfectly. Cutting from ethan to benji and sometimes walker for a few seconds so I knew where ethan was and where he was trying to get to but I still felt the build up, I knew he was gonna catch walker but I was still thinking "omg is he gonna make it?". and the cuts to benji and luthor worked well because they were still a part of what was going on and the map on benjis ipad helped visualize what was going on. in mi7 when Ethans riding up the mountain the cuts between him and benji where really good but I hate that they kept cutting back to the train. They could've easily had more obstacles for ethan on the way up the mountain if they needed! its a long ride but showing the mountain and a few shots of Ethan at different parts would've been good enough, we could've had Benji asking him "are you there yet?" like every minute so we get that a lot of time is passing but not enough that the tension stops building and a funny little joke between the two of them. I understand why it cuts back to grace/alanna on the train during that time but those are two very different things going on that are building tension in very different ways. call me crazy but ethan jumping off a cliff is different than grace dressed as someone she's not sitting down to talk to someone. it was just really hard to get invested in either of the two things going on. then the actual jumping off the cliff was such a letdown, I did not feel a fucking thing when he jumps off then it cuts away immediately after like that wasn't The Stunt of the movie?? you dont put a stunt like that on posters and post a 20 minute behind the scenes video about it for it to feel like that and show basically none of it!! show ethan flying through the sky!! show him landing on the train!!! I thought he was gonna land on the train but no that gets taken away in favour of a fucking joke when he crashes through the window. yes mi movies are supposed to be funny im fine with that I love that but come on!! let tom cruise land on the train!!! he can still slip and fall on top of the train but let that old man get his enrichment time!!
now for the train. Im sorry but it looked horrendous, the cgi was Not Good and I can't get past it. with other movies I try my best to not care but this is Mission Impossible. I know they did crash a train I love that but all the cgi added in around it and when Ethan and Grace are climbing through the train looks So Bad. it takes away from everything going on because you know its not real. I get it yeah yeah they can't dangle actors from wires while a train is slipping off a cliff but theres gotta be some way to make it look better. like I said about the bike stunt there was no tension there to me and I felt so disconnected from the movie and the characters, I like putting myself in situations and its hard when im like hm thats not real.
the fiat car chase. this was when I was like "fuck, I hate this movie", im sure we all know by now I am not a hayley atwell fan, so what sue me im allowed to not like people. I didn't like this car chase because it was mostly her driving. BABE THIS IS MISSION IMPOSSIBLE IM HERE TO SEE TOM CRUISE DRIVE NOT HER!!! if she was good then whatever but shes not for the bit. I feel like a lot of things that could've been really cool were pushed aside in favour of humour in this movie and I hate it. you can have both!! they literally did it in rogue nation and you're allowed to have callbacks in this movie so you can have a car chase like the one in rogue nation again!!! just let tom drive so it looks cool or even let hayley drive I dont care I just want it to look cool and have the humour stay inside the car. doing bits like this made the movie feel more generic and like they were trying to appeal to, dare I say, mcu fans. i like mission impossible because they get the ratio of humour to action perfect every time, and they're always so good at timing it too but in this movie especially during this chase it did not work for me and I didn't even find it funny if im being honest.
obviously I also have to talk about ilsa and im gonna shit on mcqs writing so apologies. there are two ways to look at this, one shes dead and two shes not dead, both are bad writing IN MY OPINION. if she is dead that was an awful way to send off such a loved character, she was hardly in the movie. im all for more women in movies but she definitely could've replaced grace and I think it would've given her and ethan a much better dynamic. ilsa barely has any lines??? I wouldn't even call her a side character in this movie like my friend didn't even know her name thats how insignificant she was. the sword fight was cool as fuck, rebecca slayed, but she really should've won that fight? maybe if she was outnumbered id be like okay thats a little more likely but it just feels really out of character for me. now if she DIDNT die then im also pissed because fake killing a character twice in the same movie is a little much for me, if it happened at the start of the movie and the end of the movie then okay I can deal with it but she died twice in like the first part of the movie? im sorry to say it but im sure most casual viewers forgot about her by the end of the movie and if they go back for part two and she comes back it's not gonna mean a whole lot to them. and ethans reaction to her death didn't sit right with me, this guy was a theatre kid he can at least somewhat act sad when the girl he loves fake dies and he should be allowed to, for like 5 minutes at least, I know theres a lot of stuff going on but he loved her!! let him cry a little!! and if we're supposed to believe shes dead then ethan not reacting is not helping.
one last thing I wanna add and I know im probably the only one who feels this because I know most people liked the movie, but when you make a part one and part two that release at different times you want people to like part one. it needs to be able to stand well on its own so people want to watch part two and are excited for it. am I gonna watch part two? probably yeah I wanna see that plane stunt but im not excited for it and I really feel like im just gonna be let down in the same ways again. I dont want to go see a movie for the stunts when I know I hated the stunts in the first part and I didn't come out of it caring about the plot or the characters (other than benji <3) so what am I going for? i have no reason to see that movie or be excited for it
I would also like to add I know this is not the movie tom and mcq wanted to put out since the original cut was like what 4 hours? and the movie was extremely over budget because of covid but I can still be mad about the finished product
#I dont wanna bring john wick into this but seeing john wick 4 and then this was like a punch in the face#I was so excited for john wick 4 and it exceeded my expectations by a landslide#so naturally I was like 'oh we're so back I can't wait to see another action movie this year'#and then it was the worst movie ive seen this year#im not putting mi tags on this lmao#calkaleasks
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I finally fucking finished the web world drawing for dissonance....
#there shouldn't be another environment quite as complex. I think. I hope. Sobs#Let it be known I Do Not Do Backgrounds. This is the first time I've drawn a complete background in 4 years#And the one from four years ago? That was my first LMAO#I think it came out good all things considered though I can't wait for you guys 2 see it :]
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School is draining any small motivation I had for art
or creativity in general
(tw: I got pretty much depressive in the tags but I needed to dump this somewhere and this may not be the best place but is where I feel better talking about my problems or insecurities, so feel free to ignore)
#vent in the tags#tw vent#i'm tired#and I hate that I'm tired#everytime I try to finish education is worst than the last time. my head can't take any sort of information from the class#no matter how many times they try to explain me or how many times I read and reread the same text#I can't focus. I can't memorize anything. I'm just sitting there in the classroom waiting for the 4 hours to finish to go back home#and spend the rest of the night just doing nothing. staring at the walls or doomscrolling till I have to go to bed and wake up again#for another day of fighting against an stupid anxiety attack in class because I'm going to fail this again#I hate school. I fucking hate it. the most boring stressing overwhelming way of learning#having the teacher talk for 1-2 hours straight and the student listening the whole time not saying anything is stupid#it's so fucking stupid they only want them to be mindless sheeps that only listen#because if you say anything 'no. you're wrong. I'm the teacher and I know better' fucking bullshit#this system is bullshit#and how am I supposed to study a whole school year of history. biology. math etc in less than 4 months??#everybody was like#'oh it's just 4 months and you'll be out of school!' 'in 4 months you'll get the education!' 'you can finish this in just 4 months!'#I fucking can't! I can't do this in such short time! I can't. focus. on 6. subjects at the same time. my brain can't!#and it's so fucking depressing. I have 4 opportunities to finish this. the longest it could take me is 2 years#I could just focus on 1 or 2 things each time but if I fail too many times I won't have another opportunity like this ever again#and I won't be able to finish highschool education and I. just. can't.#I'm tired of giving my biggest effort and not being enough. I'm tired of getting no satisfaction from any achievement I get#I hate so many things right now#and I have a lot more things in my head right now but I better shut up#you don't have to comfort me. it's ok. I'm not searching for confort. I just needed a place to dump my frustration or something#idk#you can ignore this#I might delete this later
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went to my first con in 4 years on Friday to meet Kaiji Tang and got a Dazai autograph + video recording of him reading to me. He was the sweetest person (as I knew he would be) and interacting with him was lovely, but also at the same time oh boy it sure was an extremely stressful, ugly wake-up call of what it feels like to live in a world now where everyone around you has blissfully moved on from covid and can enjoy things normally and happily, while you'll forever be trapped in a hellscape of perpetual fear 🫠🫠🫠
#like. to be clear this was the first time i've been literally anywhere but doctor's appointments in 4 years#not just because of the pandemic but because of mental and physical exhaustion#so it was a Big Mistake to go from 0 to 100 and not ease myself into it at all#but at the same time........ it was a fucking hellscape of people. i don't think any kind of buildup could have prepared me for it at all.#it was so much less crowded in 2020 (ironically the very last place i ever went; literally on the BRINK of covid)#and now idk what it's become. a monster con. it was unbelievable.#but i was only there for less than an hour but i was so so so terrified that i very nearly left before even seeing him#i couldn't even fully enjoy meeting him as kind as he was because i was so anxious and distracted#and when i got back to the car i just fucking cried.........#the last five days i've just been sitting in fear waiting to feel Any sort of symptoms#i wore two masks and again was barely there for long but Still#and everyone around me was so chill as if everything was normal and No One was wearing a mask :))))) it's not fucking fair man :)))))#insert the 'they don't know' meme; they don't know how much covid can destroy your body even if you get a 'mild' case#i would never want to be that ignorant even if i wasn't disabled and didn't have reason to worry (but everyone has reason to worry!!!)#but also. ignorance is bliss and it just really fucking sucks man.#it really fucking sucks. why do they get to be happy and enjoying life and not /me?/#why can't i do just ONE thing for myself without having it tainted by anxiety and fear that i'm going to die horribly???#while they get to do fucking EVERYTHING???#if they all just wore masks we could all enjoy ourselves much more comfortably than some of us are now#but no that's too much to ask from people 🙃🙃🙃#shit sucks man. the world sucks. something that should be a happy memory for me was simultaneously the most awful experience#and i don't know how to feel about it now that it's over#he knew that i was afraid and at the end he told me that he hoped to see me again at another event someday#and that made me cry because it felt like dazai telling me to live. and i want to. but i don't know how to when the world is like this now.#i desperately want to be able to see him again someday but right now after how terrifying that was i never want to go to a con ever again..#i wanted to ask him things about the manga and about dazai but i was being rushed and stressed so i couldn't ugh#(and doing that is hard enough anyway cause disability and i have to talk with my phone bahhhh)#at least i was able to give him my note *sigh*
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💰 (ur very cool btw)
HMMMMMMB.
When we're bored up front and Inland also happens to be up front we just throw things through its head. Tbis does not bother it whatsoever like it doesn't hurt or anything and Inland doesn't feel anything so we've kinda made it a game 2 see how much random shit we can throw through inland's head/face... thing. Tbe biggest object successfully tossed through it so far has been Myself 😃👍❗ -Half Light
In unrelated news Either our headspace is falling apart or the innerworld view has shifted to HARRY'S headspace of all things bc 90% of the time it's just a black void. I mean we'll take that over the Cold Cave Full Of Fog that we've been having for the past.., month almost??? But. Screams. Girl dot com. I miss hte small cabin thingy we had like 2 months agoNFJDDJCJXJXJC Trant can teleport us back there if he focuses Rlly hard on it but he's not always uP FRONT like bitch (!!!) @ our brain WORK WITH US PLEASE stop changing the headspace so often!!!!!!!!! JDJDJDFJDKDKDJD
LIKE IT'S NOT A SERIOUS ISSUE it's just Annoying. -Electrochem
#anon friend#THANK U UR ALSO COOL <3#speaking of the cave (we still haven't named it proper) trant & jean discovered it one night while headspace exploring#it hink?#mgihtve been kim ??#idk jean WAS involved though we remember that much but it doesn't Matter#it's full of Fog (at least. what we Hope is fog. ahem.) and it's all shrimp coloured and iridescent and glittery#We have not tried going further than the cave mouth because the brain WON'T LET US there's like an invisible wall#probably another Fog Domain tho and.... Nothing *else*. which tracks bc The Fog js known 4 being annoying#fuckin thing yoinked one of our sysmates literal days after he formed WE HAVEN'T SEEN HIM SINCE AND HIS ASS FORMED ON NEW YEAR'S *HELLO??!*#speaking of Harry's headspace we're trting ti build that too. not like he can actually access it but y'know it's for *us*#we don't have shit rn it's all black voids and a vague bird-eye view map showing where whoever else is closest 2 the main fronter is??#other random objects we've found so far tho are: a bonfire‚ a pinball machine (!!!)‚ and sleeping bags. all in separate rooms#'rooms' there's no doors or walls. i mean ig there are but we cAN'T AEE THEM!#ok I'm done. sorryHFJFFJDKFKFK -Electrochem#wait have we explainwd what The Fog is here. it's a system specific Entity a la TMA i think it has one. maybe 2 avatars rn.#no info besides that sl far. th avatars r Trant & that one guy it fucking yoinked
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[vent warning in the tags. I'll be okay. I'm just feeling bad and need to scream into the void. Do not be worried about my physical well-being, that's not in danger.]
#My dysphoria gets worse and worse.#The longer i exist like this. The harder it will be to change#My body is settling. It feels like I'm hardened clay and I've lost my chance#The older i get the more I'll lose skin plasticity. I'm terrified to bind because what if I damage the tissue over time#(which makes the dysphoria even worse)#I've grown my hair out because I didn't want to stuck in gender roles#And I thought (in all my naivity)#“oh I'll be off the waiting list soon! I'll be able to be handsome!”#But the list keeps growing and growing and growing and GROWING#2 years. 2.5. 3.#I have another year to go they say. But I trust it for shit.#It'll be 4 if I'm lucky I just feel it in my bones#I'll be 26 when I have my intake. Whenever i realize I'll be 30 before I will see any true results it makes me want to scream#I want to scream so often!!#With terror and anger!!#I don't like existing in this way!!!!! I'm not me!!!!#Ive managed to bottle it up out of fear. And then I managed by keeping my eyes on the horizon#“soon I'll be where I'm supposed to be. Soon I'll finally feel like things are right.”#But the horizon keeps moving as I go forward#And I'm so lonely#And I'm so tired#And fuck i just want to feel like I AM a man. Not that I would like to be.#I know people are just fucking indulding me. I'm not delusional I know what I look like#If I cut my hair again these feelings will win#But what other avenues are left to me?#I'm 1.52. 4'11 in American#What the FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK am I meant to do???!!!!?!#I live literally next to the hospital. Why can't they HELP ME.#I have existed like this for so long and I can't fucking do this for two more years!!!!!!! Fuck!!!#I will wait until summer. 8 more months and it will be 3 years on that cursed fucking waiting list
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so weird how 2028 is gonna be a leap year. just doesn't seem right
#like 2000 gives SUCH leap year vibes#and 2020. and 2024#pretty much every leap year of the 21st century so far fits the vibes#actually tbh 2008 doesn't give me as much vibes. maybe it's the 8#tbf 2032 doesn't give me the vibes either#2036 sort of does and 2040 is SO leap year vibes#1996 doesn't really. 1992?? i would've never thought that was a leap year#1988 maybe? 1984 definitely#1972 not so much#1968 maybe. i can get behind it. maybe it is the 8#but then 1948 is so leap year??#but you're telling me 1952 was a leap year? that's possibly the least leap year year I've ever heard of#i feel like it's the ones that end on 4 and 0 that give the most vibes. but then 1960 doesn't scream leap year to me#2060 however.....#okay in conclusion I'd say the most leap year year of all time to me is 2000. maybe i'm biased.#i mean it's a new decade. new century. new millennium. and it's even a leap year#i mean i guess 1000 also was#okay hang on. 1200 was such a leap year. 1300 though??? not getting the vibes#1484 i am not getting vibes. not for 1760 either. 1664 is the most leap year I've ever seen in my life#like what if you got 4 and timesed it by itself. and then got another 4 and added another 4 and then timesed that by itself#and then put them next to each other. and got 1664. 1664 invented leap years#actually when were they invented#okay wait if you can't divide a century year by 400 then it's not a leap year? so 2100 won't be. what then#just. 365 days?? i can't keep up with this#okay stop listing numbers#ramble
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Aziraphale's "well, then there's nothing more to say" was a pretty sharp and definitive statement.
The "no nightingales" was Crowley saying "it's over".
It really seemed like they were having two separate conversations. We know Crowley heard Aziraphale's "offer" but it wasn't clear to me that Aziraphale heard anything that Crowley was trying to say. Nor I think did he register the emotions washing across Crowley's face, from dismay, to shock, to anguish, and finally resignation.
About the only comfort I have in the ending is that in order to have what we saw, they shot all the scenes-the actual chinwag (not just Az' retelling), multiple takes of The Kiss, and whatever the other parts of the story that we are missing. It's all in the can, people. It's probably why Michael posted this:
Knowing that NG is so meticulous, so particular, tells me that for continuity's sake he would have shot all of it. Maybe more than one version of it. And we'll see it as flashbacks(?) or pick up where we left off. Hopefully.
Something I noticed in the confession is that they don't REALLY respond to what the other is saying
Crowley says "run away with me" and Aziraphale says "come with me to heaven"
Both are saying "be with me" but neither stops to figure out why the other wouldn't want to go
Crowley says "you can't leave this bookshop" and Aziraphale says "nothing lasts forever"
Crowley thinks he ended it.
Aziraphale says "we can make a difference" and Crowley says "good luck"
Both are leaving. Neither stayed until they could agree, or at least understand each other
Aziraphale says "I need you" and Crowley says "no nightingales"
Aziraphale thinks he ended it.
Aziraphale says "I forgive you" and Crowley says "don't bother"
That's the one that sticks.
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Missed out on two concerts next year because tickets are just ridiculous to get your hands on. The whole idea of pre-sales and people being given early access to tickets is just so ridiculously unfair to me, especially when a lot of times those pre-sale tickets are locked behind some kind of paid option beforehand i.e. you get access to pre-sales if you've signed up for or bought into something. It's also really shitty for some fans to buy up tickets for multiple shows across multiple locations too, I don't really care how big a fan you are, if you're lucky enough to gain tickets to one show of a performer you know is going to likely sell out, it's shitty to buy up tickets for other shows on top of that. Tickets are already so overpriced and stupidly difficult to get your hands on, fans don't need to be worrying about other fans buying up all the tickets before they even get a chance at any. It's not cute when you boast about it either.
#[ she rambles ]#I'm literally????????#not people posting they're going to 4/5 shows of their fave artist#and joking about how oops I asked my family to all be online buying tickets for me too and now I have 10+ tickets#or talking about how they've managed to go to every major tour of an artist while other people have waited years for a tour to even come#anywhere near them and then can't get their hands on any tickets because other people attending every show have bought them all#concerts are already so expensive so for me to decide to want to go to one it's usually only because I've considered every option and#decided it's worth going on this one occasion because I might never get another chance to#... and all the tickets are always sold out immediately ... or by the time 'pre sale' ends there's fuck all left for anyone else
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