#I can’t turn away from a good homoerotic fight

[valoale]

Idk if you wanted actual color responses but you’re getting mine. Purple, pink and a small drop of black just to see who would win

LESSGOOOOO I’m 5’4” but I’m ✨feisty✨lemme just google the closest Denny’s real quick but I’m down 😏

But fr you’re far too kind I can’t, I love you so much 🥹💞

[the-anastasia]

Dark Rise Summary

Leaving this here for anyone else about to read the second book and who remembers f-all from the first one. (And since I couldn’t find a good one online.) Spoilers ahead, obvs:

Will came to London to find out who killed his mom. It was Simon’s dad, Edmund, the Earl of Sinclair. He worked on Simon’s ship and tried to subterfuge it. His mom’s old servant finds him and gives him a medallion. He was caught by Simon’s men and shackled down in one of Simon’s ships. All Simon’s men got a brand on their arm, a letter S. Tom was there that day to get the brand and his sister Violet followed him. Stewards attack the ship trying to get one of their own back from Simon - Marcus. They fight. Justice fights Tom and when they fight in the ship a crate opens and it’s the corrupted blade and it starts destroying the ship and it can kill people with a touch but Will manages to sheathe it and tells to Violet to get everyone out and she does but then comes back to help Will. Since Justice found them there on the ship he assumes they were both Simon’s prisoners and takes them to an inn and tells them the ancient history. Violet tries to go back to her family but overhears her dad saying he only kept her alive cause she and Tom are both lions and Tom needs to kill another lion to get his full powers so she sashays away. Justice takes Violet and Will to the hall of Stewards (formerly the hall of kings). He thinks Will is the blood of the lady cause of the medallion. The lady is who killed the dark king in the past. They train in the hall of stewards and the elder steward tries to get Will to reach the light inside him and bring a dead hawthorn tree back to life but he can’t. Elder Steward tells Will the dark king will be reborn and Simon is trying to bring him back. The first step is to unleash a shadow.

One night Will and Violet hear some Stewards returning from patrol and sneak out to eavesdrop. Justice and others heard where Marcus might be and went out to get him but it was a trap. James was there. In old world he was servant of light but turned and started serving the dark king. He’s called the betrayer and he is a reborn so he can use magic and almost killed them all. Will thinks they want Marcus back so desperately cause he knows how to summon a shadow. Violet says she could find out how to get him back.

They sneak out back to London and she goes to back to her family and overhears where James will be alone and when. Will goes to secretly meet Simon’s fiancée Katherine and they develop a thing. When they return to the hall they are taken and shackled. Apparently Cyprian never trusted Violet, an outsider, so he followed her. They tell her they know she’s a lion and lions fought for the dark king so she must be bad. They try to tell them they know how to get to Marcus but no one trusts them. Then surprisingly Cyprian comes to free them and sneak them out. Marcus was his brother (The high janisarry adopted them both after “losing his son”). Cyprian says if there’s even a small chance they’re telling the truth and they could get Marcus he’ll risk it.

They corner James at Robert Drakes Ivory shop. Devon the last unicorn works there. He hides his identity. They capture James and slam some anti magic shackles on him and bring him back to the hall. The stewards have a severed unicorn’s horn (Devon’s) and it compels someone to tell the truth but you gotta stab them. Will takes it and with a slow, homoerotic precision stabs James in the shoulder. They learn that the High Janissary is his real dad. He was kicked out as a child when they found out who he was. Scared and alone he found the only person willing to take him in, Simon’s dad. They learn where Marcus is being held. That Simon is looking for a powerful artifact and that a man named Gauthier had come to England with it. But then James also tells them all the truth about the cup of the Stewards. The cup is what the novitiates drink from to get their steward strength. But it’s cursed and eventually turns them into shadow. Four kings of the Hall were offered great power in exchange for a price by the dark king. 3 of them agreed and drank from the Cup. Those who drank gained extraordinary physical abilities for a time. But when their time was done they turned into shadow kings controlled by the dark king. Chaos in the hall ensues. Everyone realizes the stewards are desperate to get Marcus back cause he about to be shadow boy. They plan a full frontal assault to get him back.

Will tells Cyprian and Violet there might be another way. They sneak out and Will goes to meet up with Katherine. They kiss and a Hawthorne tree in the garden by her house blooms. Katherine freaks out and asks Will “what are you”. Her lady’s maid came out looking for her but before they parted Will tells Katherine Simon is not a good man and if you ever feel in danger come to the marsh (where the hall is) and you’ll be safe. Failing to get any useful information from Katherine the three return but Marcus had already turned and came into the hall and killed everyone. Elder Steward managed to fight him and kill him cause she was almost shadow herself at that point before dying herself. The only survivors were her two janissaries, Grace and Sarah. Janissaries fail the test and so don’t drink from the cups. They become knowledge keepers, scholars, artisans, etc.

They go to find Gauthier and James is already there. A novitiane (Emery) had freed him after they left cause he had the feels for James. They overpower and shackle him again. Apparently the mighty artifact Gauthier has is a collar that controls James. Ones its on it can never be removed. The Dark King used it to control James then had him executed so he can be reborn with him. The executioner kept the collar and it was passed down through generations to Gauthier. It’s dark power ending their family line to one sad old man hanging on to the collar. Will decides to free James and gives him the collar.

Katherine and her little sister Elizabeth do come to the hall after she overhears Simon talking about killing people. She says Simon said he needs the blood of the lady to release the shadow kings from a stone they’re trapped in and that will make the dark king return. Will realizes Simon can use the blood of his mother where she was killed so he sneaks out and goes to the place. He kills Simon’s remnants and then Simon (but not before he managed to release the shadow kings). Simon tried to kill Will with the corrupted blade but of course it didn’t work on Will cause surprise surprise he’s actually the dark king reborn. Turns out his mom had tried to kill him. Katherine and Elizabeth were her daughters who she gave away to protect them. Devon appears there and tells him he knew who he is all along and calls him my king for some reason (even though the dark king slaughtered the unicorns who were fighting with the stewards). Devon also kills his boss and friend Robert after Robert steals his horn back and gives it to him saying he knew all along. Frankly, Devon just doesn’t make any sense. Katherine apparently followed Will and overheard everything. Will tells her she’s the one who made the tree bloom and she’s the blood of the lady. They can hear two shadow kings coming for her. Will commands them back to the stone. Katherine is scared of Will. She picks up the sword to fight him but the corrupted blade kills her.

Back in the hall Elithabeth stumbles and touches the dead tree and it comes to light and they realize she’s the blood of the lady. The third shadow king is there and breaks through the hall wards. Violet tells them all to run and stays to fight the king. She defeats him with a lions shield that was hanging in the hall as a relic of the old world.

Will goes to an inn to write a letter to Katherine’s aunt and uncle who were taking care of her. James shows up there. He doesn’t know who Will actually is and tells him he’s there to follow Will. Will says “Of course you are.”

Characters:

Will Kempen - the dark king (Sacrean) reborn. Dark king gave the order to kill all his servants so they be reborn with him.

The Lady - her and dark king loved each other and she killed him.

Eleanor Kempen - Will’s mom. The Lady’s descendant. Sister Mary was killed by Simon. Also mom to Katherine and Elizabeth.

Mathew - servant who worked for Will’s mother. Gave him her medallion.

Violet - Will’s friend. Half Indian on mother’s side. Half brother Tom. Super strength. Father kept her alive so Tom could kill one like him in order to come into his power.

Simon/Lord Crenshaw - Descendent of dark king who wants to bring him back. Coat of arms: three black hounds.

Tom - Simon’s lion. Super strength. Violet’s bro.

Stewards - keepers of the last flame. And of the knowledge of the old world. Fighters for the light. Wear white.

Janissaries - those who don’t wanna be stewards or fail the tests. Wear blue.

Novitiates - training to become stewards. Wear grey.

Marcus - Steward. caught by Simon. Cyprian’s brother. Turned to shadow.

Cyprian - the book’s Draco Malfoy. Novitiate.

High janissary Jannick - Cyprian’s and Marcus’ adopted father. Biological dad to James.

Justice - Steward. Was sheildmate to Marcus.

Elder steward / Euphemia - the wisest and most powerful Stewards.

Grace and Sarah - Elder Steward’s janissaries. Grace is more put together.

Leda - Steward captain

Katherine Kent - Simon’s fiancée.

Elizabeth Kent - 10yo. Katherine’s sister.

James St. Clair - Dark kings sexy boy toy. The Betrayer reborn. Used to be on side of light before the king slapped a collar on him and used it to control him and possibly also took him to bed.

Remnants - have part of ancient dark kings inner guard’s armor. The book’s Nazgûl. All living things wither at their touch.

Valdithar - Will’s brave horsie

Devon - unicorn. Clerk of ivory merchant Robert Drake. Sometimes a runner for Simon.

Gauthier - descendant to Rathorn, who executed the betrayer.

Objects:

Magic Mirror - in which Will looks into the past and sees the lady. He finds this mirror in a warehouse by the docks. It’s never mentioned again.

Medallion - inscribed “I cannot return when I’m called to fight so I will have a child” AKA the hawthorn’s flower, The lady’s medallion. Will’s mom had it. It got passed on to him.

The corrupted blade - used to be sword of the champion, Ekthalion. Corrupted by one drop of blood of dark king. Legend has it a champion can restore it.

The final flame - atop the hall

Shield of rassalon - shield of the first lion

The hawthorn tree - The tree stone in the hall of Stewart’s used to be tree of light. The lady’s touch will bring it back to life and make it shine

Cup of the stewards - they drink from it to get strength but eventually it turns them dark. “calico del re”. That’s why they’re in pairs and have shield mates. To watch for change and kill the other when the time comes.

The shadow stone - 3/4 kings made bargain with the dark king. They got power but upon their death turned into creatures of shadow. Are trapped in the stone. Will commands two back into the stone after they’re released. One is killed by Violet.

Gold collar with rubies - controls James. Never opens once it’s on.

Quotes: “Kindness is never a mistake, somewhere in the heart it is always remembered.” Pg104 (nothing to do with the summary I just like it.)

[thegengarprincess]

Baking cookies for my love! , I stir and mix~❣️

———————————————————————@

Pairing: (❤️💜) Jan Peteh x Nace Jordan (🐈‍⬛💞🐕), (💖💙) Bojan Cvjetićanin x Jure Maček/implied (🎤💕🥁), (🧡🖤) Kris Guštin x Damon Baker/mentioned (👑💗📸)

Warnings: (‼️) minor depictions of a character throwing up off-screen (Bojan fr eats raw cookie dough like the chaotic puppy he is) , RPF! don’t like, don’t read. Just a whole lotta fluff N gay pinning from here on out :3 (❕)

Word count: (👾🗒️) 1.3k/roughly (📝😭)

Tags: (🎁🐱) tooth-rotting fluff/baking as a love language/pinning/very, very gay pinning/author can’t tag to save their life/flour fights/Bojan’s only purpose here is to look pretty and be a lil shit /just two kitties and one puppy being chaotic and in love/Igor being his dad’s no.1 wingman/the inherent eroticism of making bear-shaped cookies for ur crush as a birthday gift/obligatory heart to heart while ur other best friend is throwing up raw cookie dough in the toilet (🍪🧸)

Summery: (🧈💘) Nace’s birthday is only a week away and Jan still hasn’t been able to find a good enough gift for the older bassist that he *just* so happens to have a not so small (read: big fat) crush on, and with the other 3 getting increasingly more sick of both boy’s *obvious* homoerotic pinning, 2 of them decide to help him out a little (🤮😽)~

~ @ * , • > . 🎁 . < • , * @ ~

• > * . + , ^ ~🐱 ~ ^ , + . * < •

{5 hours prior}

“Why don’t you try baking him some gluten-free cookies or something ”? , Jure suggested — it’d been atlest three hours since band practice ended for the day. But with a certain turtle owning, Pokémon loving, big brown eyed brunette bassists birthday coming up a week from now, one of their guitarists may have had an internal crisis over what to get him which leads the four boys to their current situation. Brainstorming ideas back and forth till something finally clicks. Just like how they’ve always done when it comes to their music…

Except working on a new song or playing around with different beats and cord progressions is currently the last thing on their minds right now. Instead having to help out their permanently tired, cat-like main guitarist who oh so coincidentally had sorta gained a “teeny tiny baby (read: incredibly giant ass ) crush ” on the soon-to-be birthday boy.

“Jure, ur a genius “! , the guitarist in question quipped. Signature smirk tugging at his lips then whipping out his phone and googling the best gluten-free cookie recipes. As the youngest of the three let out a sigh of relief then muttered a quiet “finally ” while jumping off their rehearsal spaces infamously worn-out couch and gently taking his guitar of it’s stand. Their frontman following suit. ”maybe if Janči can get his shit together with Nace by next week, you could finally score a date with Damon ”~ , “yeah yeah, shut up Bojći ”. He shot back playfully, only a slight pink tint dancing across his cheeks from the other’s teasey comment.

{present time}

Plopping a stick of softened butter into one of the many bowls layed out on the counter as another set of hands belonging to their shortest bandmate passed the caster and light brown sugar to Jan for mixing into a large bowl as he began stirring all the dry ingredients together while the older of the two started cracking an egg then stirring it thoroughly till it’d had combined with the butter/sugar mixture. Handing over another set of ingredients and sift to his boyfriend, Bojan attempted dipping his finger into the flour bag then booping Jure’s nose. Electing a giggle out of the taller drummer who retaliated by butterfly kissing Bojan’s nose till a white, powdery mark appeared as the younger flashed his iconic smile from the sudden movement.

One flour fight and change of jeans later, Jan went back to mixing the batter until they were left with a soft, slightly sticky dough for shaping. Hoping they had enough leftover to make bear ears to decorate their confection with, only turning around when they all heard a faint sound of a meow and Bojan cooing over the fluffy creature while simultaneously keeping his little paws from getting prints all over the counter and adorable little head into the butter tub.

While Jure was spooning the dough onto a baking tray and helping Jan mould them into their desired shape, the blonde’s lover sneakily curled his fingers around the rim of the mixing bowl and stole a few bites of the (raw mind you) batter. Sure, he may of eaten more than the recommended amount. BUT it’s not like it’s HIS fault cookie dough is one of the greatest foods ever invented. Only pulling away when their guitarist turned around to check on Igor and give the cat some pets, chin scratches and letting him sniff his dough coated fingers. Until Jure noticed the bowl’s rim was suddenly clean and the only person closest enough to stick a hand in it other than him was Bojan.

“Bojan, did you just eat raw cookie dough straight from the bowl “?-

“No”….

“Bojćiiiii ”.

“If raw dough isn’t ment to be eaten, they why does it taste so good “!

“I swear if you get sick again, Kris is gonna have to lock you in the apartment so you’ll actually rest for once “-

And as if his friend had been gifted the power to speak anything he merely desired into reality right then and there, Bojan’s face contorted into a grimace and darted to the toilet. After both boys let out equally disgruntled twin sighs, they began placing the batter filled baking trays into the oven and cleaning everything up. (And maybe playing a round or two of rock, paper, scissors to see who’s on dish duty), while Jan kept a watchful eye on the cookies so they wouldn’t burn to bear-shaped crisps. Igor strutting over and sitting next to the dark-brunette guitarist, curiously gazing at the sweet treat rising from the sheer heat his dad’s oven provided.

“What if he doesn’t like them at all “? — the second youngest bandmate spoke all of a sudden. Tone sounding a hybrid between unsure and questioning. Drying the last of the spoon’s and abandoning it on the rack, Jure appeared next to him and crouched down infront of the oven as Igor started pawing at the blonde’s shoes. Staring Jan dead in the eyes while he deadpanned “were talking about the same man who made turtle shaped gingerbread cookies with mini Christmas hats and ugly sweaters on. Why wouldn’t he like them “?!

He asked with a look of “ I knew you weren’t always the most aware, but Jesus fucking Christ “.

Shuffling around to face the other boy, Jure placed both hands on Jan’s shoulder’s with a fond sigh and said matter of factly “have you seen the way Nace looks at you when we’re playing infront of a crowd? Like you literally hung every single star in the sky single-handedly just for him to look up at every night before he goes to bed, or how he smiles when you smile back him, even if it’s only for a couple of minutes ”.

“he’s just doing that to be polite Muca! And knowing him, he’d probably take the cookies and say thank you then flash that stupidly perfect dimpled smile he has then throw them in bin as soon as he get’s inside or he’ll think their stupid but won’t say anything cuz he’s too nice and sweet for his own good or, or “-

“Or he could like them sooo much, he invites you over the next day to say thanks and then kisses you and say’s he loves you like we all know he wants to ”! , a familiar voice chimed in from the bathroom out of the blue. The same voice then resuming the gagging noises and grotesque sounds it’s been making for over an hour now. It’s owners lover rolling his eyes fondly then scrambling to pour a glass of water and hurry upstairs to help their frontman. So much for being the one who’s severely allergic to any sort of health and safety.

The sudden ping of the oven made a beeline straight to Jan’s ear’s, pulling him out of his trance as the Slovene fitted a pair of oven gloves on and gently pulled the tray of cookies out from the machine onto the counter closest to it. Leaving them to cool for a couple of minutes before sticking the pre-made bear ears on and throwing on some finishing touches, finally transporting each one into a box they (read: Jure and Bojan) decorated from head to toe in rainbow confetti, turtle stickers, Pokémon drawings, violet candles and a big purple ribbon neatly wrapped around the box’s lid.

“You think he’ll like them, Igor “? — He whispered to his furry friend who was currently lazing around underneath one of the stools, only getting a slow blink and yawn in return.

“Thought so “…<3

[gayskogul]

Wip snippet

Thank you for the tag, @renaultphile I have to admit that I'm not working on any writing for TC right now, sorry girlies, but I am working on something just as homosexual! It's the story of a young Paladin-in-training, and the fledgling Cleric who has been made to tutor him in the ways of the magic. So, stay tuned if you like fantasy and knights and magic and homoerotic devotion! I've a bunch of chapters written already but I'm not keen to start uploading bits until I have a whole act ready to go, but I plan to start posting these stinkers up on Ao3 very soon! Anyway, this is a snippet from an early scene that I quite liked.

[5-ish mins reading time]

“It’s really quite a simple trick,” said Arthur, spreading his cloak out underneath him on the tree stump. “We learn to do it early on in our training. You just have to open yourself up, and really…” Arthur noticed a wave of confusion sweep across the other man’s face. “You can feel the Light, can’t you?”

Oliver bit at his lower lip. He nodded, after a moment. “I think so, yes. Sergeant Wheatley—the practice instructor, that is—said that I wield it in combat. But off the training field…”

“Nothing?”

Oliver pushed a brown lock of hair back from his face, a twinge of frustration in the gesture. “Not even a glimmer.”

Arthur took the leaf that had fallen from the poplar branches above them, then held it in his hand, palm up. He focused for a moment, reaching out for the Light, then let it wash over the leaf. With a barely audible puff, it floated a couple of inches above his outstretched hand.

“Do you see it?” asked Arthur. “The Light.”

Oliver craned his neck, eyeing the leaf warily, as if it was some monstrous enemy upon the battlefield. After a long silence, he murmured, “No.”

Arthur felt his heart sink into his stomach. Had the Order made a mistake? The leaf did a sudden nose-dive, plummeting as the spell fed off of his momentary doubt. But he bolstered the enchantment, steadying it before it could drop to the floor and become lost amongst the foliage. “Look closer. Try again.”

Oliver shifted closer, leathers creaking as he bent down at the waist. “Hold on…” he breathed. He squinted at it for a moment, then nodded. “It’s hard to see, but yes, I think that’s it! Little threads of… is that the Light? You can really see it?”

“Good,” said Arthur, relief making the word come out sounding choked. For most people, those would not be visible. Not that they were visible per se, but those with some attunement to the Light were able to sense it. It was a sixth sense of sorts. Oliver’s ability to perceive them meant that he was indeed familiar with the magic, and had most likely been told the truth that he’d used it in his sparring, and most importantly, this wasn’t a waste of time for everybody involved, the poor lad included. 

Arthur released the spell. The leaf flopped back onto his hand. “Now that you saw how it’s done, have a go."

Oliver stared at the leaf. His brows knit together in concentration, and he pressed his lips together so forcefully that they went white. A minute passed. Then another. A crow called in the distance, and was answered by a flight of unimpressed-sounding wood pigeons.

Long-held breath exploded out of him. He turned away rigidly. “I can’t.”

Oliver looked like he’d just been in a fight, all tense and coiled up like a spring. The sight made Arthur frown. That just wouldn’t do, he thought, idly running a finger across the edge of the leaf.

“It’s alright. Not everyone gets it right away.” Arthur put his chin into his hand. He rolled the stalk between the ends of his fingers. “Let’s try something else. What do you know about spells?”

A blank look was all the only response he got.

“I see. Then have you ever managed to purposefully channel the Light?”

Oliver shook his head glumly. “I don’t think so.”

“What about when you’ve done it whilst fighting? When you use it then, how does it feel?”

“I’m not sure. But when I’m paired up with some of the other recruits—the ones who cheat, or fight dirty, or the ones I know that bully the younger boys, everything feels… different.” Oliver sat up straighter. He shook his head, as if clearing it of cobwebs. “Each step is more certain. Each sword form feels like it’s always the correct one to use, like... like it would be impossible for it to miss. Winning the bout would be something pure and correct. I think that might be the Light: searing hot and sharp, and full of purpose!”

The words were stirring. They'd made Arthur inadvertently lean closer to the other man. He subtly clawed himself back into a more relaxed posture before Oliver could notice. Of course, the answer sounded like one a paladin would give, and certainly some of the more zealous priests too. But there was more to it than that. The Light could be burning hot, but it could also be a soothing warmth. He wondered whether Oliver had realised that, surrounded as he was by people who were so devoted to the art of battle. His gaze swept across the newest bloodstain on the squire’s trousers, and an idea came to him.

“Hold out your hand,” said Arthur, “the one you pricked on the briarthorn.”

Oliver gave him a curious look, but obeyed. Slowly, he reached out his hand and uncurled his fingers, one by one. They were long and knobbly, and his thumb jutted out awkwardly. There was still a spot of bright crimson at the tip of the ring finger, and a darker patch where blood had mixed with the dirt on his hand and dried there.

Arthur had proved that Oliver could see the Light. Now it was time for a different experiment. “Alright. Close your eyes,” he said.

“What are you up to?” asked Oliver warily.

“Do you trust me?”

There was a long moment of silence. Grey eyes flicked up to bore into him for what felt like an eternity. Eventually, Oliver cocked his head slightly and said, “I do.” He shut his eyes. Thick lashes caught the sun.

Arthur brought his heels to the tree stump below him, using the motion to counterbalance leaning forwards to reach out to the other man. “In a second,” he said quietly, “I’m going to touch your hand, if that’s alright.”

“Understood.”

In the soft, calm voice that he reserved for the more delicate procedures, Arthur continued. “After that, I’m going to try something. I want you to focus on how it feels.”

Oliver hummed an affirmative.

“Alright. No peeking.”

By now, Arthur had cast healing spells countless times throughout his training, on many hundreds of different people. But this time, for the first time in years, he was nervous. It could have been some reticence at calling upon the Light to heal so superficial a cut—it was indeed wasteful to heal such a small pinprick. Or perhaps some lingering anxiety from being uprooted from his home so suddenly and sent across the continent. It could have been a fear of upsetting the young paladin again and wiping away the softness that had spread across his face when his eyes shut, and looked so at-home there. Regardless of its cause, healing magic required a particular state of mind to be effective, and the way his pulse had decided to quicken was not helping.

He took the outstretched hand. When his fingers brushed against Oliver’s palm, a tremor run through the other man.

“Sorry,” said Oliver, smiling. “I wasn’t quite expecting it yet.”

“Oh. Apologies.”

“It’s alright. Go on. Please.”

If one were to observe the elegant skin of Oliver’s face, his neck, and his arms, one might be convinced into believing that his hands would be just as fine. This was not the case. In fact, it was quite the opposite. There were bumpy calluses on his palm, hardened little hills and valleys worn into his hand by years of hard work, and recently long hours of combat drills. It was undoubtedly a strong hand, but it had an unspoken gentleness about it. The paladin's hands were quite pretty in their own way, he thought.

Despite his trepidation, it only took a moment for Arthur to reach out to the Light. He was very practised at it by now, after all, and it took little effort to open himself up and let the radiance fill him. He focused his efforts down, and pushed them gently onto the little snag on the skin of Oliver’s finger pad, where another crimson teardrop had blossomed. He imagined tiny threads of the Light and willed them to weave the skin closed. It took a couple of seconds to take effect. He knew it had worked, because Oliver’s brows rocketed upwards, becoming lost behind his fringe.

“You felt that?”

“Uh-huh,” replied Oliver. His lips remained parted slightly.

With his thumb, Arthur wiped the drop of blood away from the cut. The skin underneath was perfectly whole. “And?”

“I see what you mean. It went all warm, like a good blanket, or… or like sitting right at the edge of a campfire. I didn’t know it could be like that.” Oliver cracked open his eyes, looking directly at him.

Arthur shifted on his seat under the weight of that gaze. He looked away. “Good as new,” he said, dropping the hand quickly. He rocked back on his tree stump, suddenly eager to put distance between them.

Oliver flexed his hand, wiggling the fingers. “Yeah. Thanks,” he said, touching the spot where the cut used to be.

“You’ve never felt the Light like that before?”

“No. Not like that. It's beautiful. How do you…?”

“It takes some… getting used to."

-------

[amorhedera6]

okay i had a bunch of ideas about this, and now i can’t stop thinking, so i’m gonna spew them all out right here.

samantha evans transfers to mckinley and immediately becomes the star of the girl’s soccer team

a funny bit would be that she still dates the same girls, and she’s attractive enough that literally every girl shows some attraction to her wether or not they are queer. sam makes them all question it

she’s a country girl, so she always waits her hair in braids and wears cowboy boots just bc i think it’s fun

she’s invited to join the glee club by santana, who openly flirts with her a lot. she joins because it seems like a fun way to make friends

she sings her first duet with quinn, and gets quinn to question her sexuality. they date for a little because every gay girl needs a phase where she dates a girl that looks just like her. but quinn goes back to finn later and tries to erase her “gay phase” from the minds of the school.

on the other hand, kira hummel (bc if blaine’s a girl then kurt probably should be too) volunteers to look into their competition, the warblers.

the warblers are an all girls acapella group at the all girls prep school, dalton. kira meets the charismatic and charming blaire, lead soloist of the dalton warblers and is immediately smitten.

the two don’t really interact much, seeing as sam transfers away just when blaire gets to mckinley. when they do meet, they fight just because tensions are runnng high before sectionals.

through the rest of junior year, they hardly know each other. but then they’re two of the five seniors left in glee club, and they end up running for president and vp together.

it’s britt’s idea, and she’s always been nice to sam, so she does it just to be nice. but it turns out that blaire’s pretty cool. when she’s not doing the whole uptight private school thing

once blaire’s single, she goes through a really rough time dealing with insecurities, depression, and self-loathing for what she did. sam finds herself hanging out around just being goofy in hopes of picking up her spirits

they go to the comic shop together, and blaire listening to sam infodump about spider-man. they get coffee and lunch, and suddenly for the first time in a while, sam’s got herself a best friend. it was kind of an accident, honestly.

and when mr schue leaves the glee club in finn’s hands, but then finn has to go back to college for his actual classes (shut up this is what happened), the two of them end up kind of running the glee club?

britt goes to college early/late, and tina and artie are very focused on scholarships and classes and shit, so the two of them lead the club, work on getting them back in the competition, picking weekly lessons and helping the littles get over their love triangles and squabbles

they try to help marley with her bigger issues, but the best they really can do is encourage her to go to counseling. but they work together as a team, and they’re pretty damn good at it.

sam knows she’s into blaire, but she doesn’t want to push her when she’s not over her break up with kira yet.

blaire knows she’s into sam, but doesn’t want to push her when she’s straight. she has no idea sam dated quinn last year, and never picked up on sam’s bisexuality.

the new directions are kind of tired of watching them flirt.

they have a typical homoerotic sapphic friendship where they joke-flirt a lot and act like they’re dating but never really make any effort to make their lines clear on what anything means

so they both just suffer for a while

until they go out drinking at thag gay club i don’t remember the name of and end up making out as soon as they get a little alcohol in them

pretty much after this, they just get together and stay together bc fuck putting stupid drama in everything they love each other and i love them

Spent the last 4 days thinking about sapphic Blam and its implications....

[itsclydebitches]

Okay, so as the canon recedes from memory and fandom jokes take hold — la de da the world turns — I’ve seen an influx of takes that have steadily moved away from “Izzy’s tragic because this whole debacle is technically his fault (going after Stede’s hostages)” and “Izzy is sympathetic in part because he’s so bad at villain-ing” straight into serious claims of, “Wow, Izzy is just totally incompetent, huh?”

No, no, no, Izzy is terrifyingly competent.

We as a fandom need to remember our meta roots; one of the very first things ever acknowledged in the community: this is a character who has suddenly been thrust into a new genre.

For me, it’s basically the storytelling version of the “Who would win, Goku or Saitama?” question. The answer has nothing to do with power, skill, or competence and everything to do with what would be funny, because Saitama exists in a universe where, unless it’s more entertaining for him to lose, he automatically wins — always, forever, it’s the default state. That doesn’t make Goku, a guy with the power of the gods in his own universe, incompetent by any stretch of the imagination. It just means he’s suddenly been hog-tied by the rules of a new reality.

Izzy is the Goku to Stede’s Saitama.

Izzy scopes out Stede’s marooned crew (because he didn’t remember to have someone steer the boat), buys the hostages he lost, and homoerotically skillfully cuts up his shirt with hard-earned sword skills. Stede wins when Pete throws a rock.

Izzy corners Stede in the duel before he’s even realized they’ve started, hits him across the face, disarms him, and skewers him to the mast by successfully stabbing him. Stede wins because the handle of Izzy’s sword broke and there’s supposedly nothing important on the left side of the body.

Izzy is a complete asshole about chores because in his ‘real world’ a lack of munitions, or barnacles on the ship’s side, leads to death. Or at least lost raids (which they also need to afford basic supplies). Stede exists in the world where you can walk off stab wounds, find an oasis of oranges at your assassin’s church, and row straight to your lost crew without a need for anything like supplies, rest, or a map.

Pre-Stede Izzy successfully intimidates Fang, gets him to obey his commands ( “Fang!” *hiss*), and Fang admits that complaining about the abuse wouldn’t do any good. Post-Stede Fang, Lucius, Pete, Wee John, etc. can’t be intimidated because they know that here, such threats are meaningless.

Izzy manages to wrangle together Calico Jack, Spanish Jackie, and the British — three very different parties with beef against each other and him — all in an effort to get Stede executed. Stede survives because Ed pulls out a trump card that we learned about [checks notes] right now.

Stede beats Izzy again and again and again because Stede is working under the rules of the Romantic Comedy. Is it funny if Stede were to win a duel through absurd means? Yes? Then that’s what happens. Would Izzy winning here interfere with the romance between Ed and Stede? Yes? Then that can’t happen. It’s as simple as that. Unless we circle away from the stages of Epiphany (Stede’s talk with Mary) and Resolution (heading back to Ed for the presumed reunion) and Izzy becomes a more serious Obstacle to their love, everything he attempts is doomed from the get-go. Even if he were to be written as a more serious threat to the romance, the comedy inevitably obliterates any real chance he’d have. Unless OFMD doesn’t just pull lightly from other genres as it has in season one, but takes a hard turn into something new... Izzy is fighting a losing battle. He’s Goku powering up to fucking super saiyan and then being understandably confused when Stede manages to trip over his own feet, starting a Loony Toon-esque domino fall that somehow ends with Izzy K.O.’ed. How did this happen? Fuck if he knows. The logic he’s worked under all his life says it’s impossible and yet... here he lies.

Honestly, I ramble because competence is SUCH an important part of Izzy’s character. Competence is what’s allowed him to survive into his 50′s (unless he’s really 16 lol), help build the Blackbeard legend, and gain the kind of respect that has the crew (initially) jumping at his command. Izzy knows that he’s competent. His entire, prickly personality is built on being competent, particularly when competence is used as a defense mechanism. (No need to grapple with feelings when he can just kill someone.) More importantly, he knows that, under ordinary circumstances, not being competent gets you killed. He’s watching Ed trade in protective leather for lace shirts, fill up on marmalade, turn sword training into a flirting session, admire model ships instead of formulating plans — all these things that should, according to the rules Izzy has spent his entire life living by, get them all killed. We know Stede wouldn’t survive a day in the world of “real” pirates, where Izzy originally hails from. Izzy knows it too. We know Stede survives anyway because this is a rom-com and he’s the lead. But Izzy doesn’t know what genre he’s in; certainly not that the genre has changed — and fuck, if the rules of the universe changed once before, who’s to say they won’t suddenly change again? What if he wakes up one day on a frilly ship, with a useless crew, a domesticated Blackbeard, and the world is a horrifying mess of cruelty and violence again? They’d be screwed. He’s running around bitching about plans, munitions, ship speed, killing pets, formal duels, and yes, avoiding “namby-pamby” soft things because dammit of course those things matter. They always have. Yes everyone needs specific duties because otherwise the ship falls apart and they all die. What do you mean the ship isn’t falling apart while everyone eats marmalade and has gay sex? That’s not possible.

Imagine you were a crazy competent member of society according to current social norms. Maybe you’re highly educated, have a six-figure job, are meeting all the expectations for a family, you’re considered conventionally attractive, you eat well, go to the gym every day, have impressive hobbies, give to charity on the regular, maintain a thriving friend group — in every way that your peers might judge your worth within this specific social circle, you are killing it. Then you wake up one random morning and, as Badminton puts it, you’ve entered Backwards Land. People suddenly laugh at your well-balanced lunch because pff, what do you mean you’re not just eating a bucket of candy like the rest of us? Certain public displays that would have been unthinkable 24 hours ago are suddenly occurring on every street corner. You walk in to a promotion meeting with a detailed report on why your work of the last 30 years is worth recognition. The new hire suggests they have a face-paint party instead of running the company and your boss is like, “Well damn if that isn’t the best suggestion anyone’s ever given me. You’re promoted!”

What?

Izzy is fascinating in part because he’s a HYPER-COMPETENT individual who took to his toxic, violent, homophobic, highly repressed society like a duck to water, only to find one day that the rules of the universe had changed (for the better) but whoops, nothing he’s good at suddenly has a foothold anymore. You’re an expert at running a ship? Ships are just a backdrop to romance and it doesn’t matter if there’s, you know, ammunition, or whatever. Supplies — like oranges — only matter if they’re forwarding relationships. You’re an expert swordsman? Yeah, good luck winning a rigged fight where literally anything goes provided it’s funny enough (and you, as a tightly-strung rule follower, are not funny). Your entire identity is built around intimidating and executing people? The queer polycule thinks your threats are hilarious and if you strand people on a desert island their lighthouse captain will just row to them in a single scene; the guy tossed overboard will just climb into the walls and sustain himself on paper or something. You’re Alice in Wonderland except you don’t remember falling down the hole. The fact that Lucius’ cut off finger is used for a moment of (wonderfully gross) humor and he’s totally fine when he wakes up, whereas Izzy’s severed toe is more straightforwardly horrific and requires a cane, just highlight that they’re living in different genres. For Lucius, a severed finger is a moment of comedy (Dutch fuckery) and romance (Pete whittling him a replacement). For Izzy, a severed toe is a moment of devotion to a toxic relationship (eating it on Blackbeard’s command) and a #SeriousInjury that he literally can’t walk off. Izzy’s got the worst of both worlds at the moment: governed by his original, gritty genre and unable to circumvent or reap the rewards of the rom-com.

Which only leaves the question of whether Izzy will remain the tragic figure — but still very humorous for the viewer — who is either killed or permanently exiled due to his inability to adapt? Or will he grudgingly (oh so grudgingly) turn himself over to this new set of rules? I’m personally hoping for the latter BUT with moments here and there where the gritty drama bleeds into the rom-com; moments where things suddenly do become legitimately perilous and Izzy’s honed skills once again become necessary for survival. Like Ed who moves from the poetry-loving Edward into the murderous Kraken, Izzy has the potential to move between and/or straddle genres in some pretty entertaining ways.

[battyshopkeeper]

Never Grew up

“Being Bruce's childhood friend has always been painful.”

Bruce Wayne x Male Reader

Word Count: 1034

Contains / Warnings:  Angst/No comfort, Established friendship, also didn't notice how homoerotic I made detective stuff sound.

Bruce had invited you to his hideout after asking for some classified files you had access to, something he rarely did but his new mission called for all hands on deck and that included you, someone he knew to be outside of Gotham's corruption.

With that you were happily spending the entire day with him, helping him with deciphering codes, bouncing theories between each other as you both naturally slipped into a comfortable yet quick rhythm. Turning out results that would've made anyone say you were made to work with each other.

Even then you were able to crack a few jokes much to Bruce's deadpan face but that just made you even more determined to make him smile while still focusing on the job. It wasn't until you finally made the most painfully unfunny joke in your life that Bruce finally let out an auditable chuckle.

"Oh my God, that's what made you laugh- Out of everything? Your sense of humor is so broken." You looked up from your papers in disbelief as his face slipped back to it's usually expression, "That was a pity laugh."

"Bruce doesn't do pity laughs! Who are you, imposter?" You tease while poking him with a pen, the tips of his mouth tugging up. "I got specific taste in my comedy, I'll admit."

"I mean it was bad when we were kids but it must've deteriorated as you got older-" You stated before exchange the files you've been working on, looking over at each others work in silence, the room now being filled with the noise of papers being flipped and the scribbles of pens.

Your words still lingered in his mind, leading to a walk through memory lane. Memories of you playing as kids unknowing of the grim future that bled into teenagehood, it was at that time that he lost what little friends he had, yet you were the only one that stayed. Fighting to be by his side when everyone would have given up. He always hated remembering that time- all the horrible things he said in an attempt to push you away.

You noticed the taller man slowing down, soon setting his pen down making you nervously look around, before you could ask what was wrong he spoke up.

"You've been here... with me for a long time, haven't you?"

You anxiously placed the files down, all you attention on him now "Of course... You can't rid of someone like me easily. I stick around much to everyone's surprise." You gesture at yourself, before you could ramble on he interrupts you.

"Why?"

Was all he asked yet you could feel the weight of that simple question with his tone. You paused with furrowed brows "Uh well... I care for you and that's not something I feel often about others. We've been through hell- I guess we're both a couple of broken people stuck together by chance." He says quiet while looking down at you, taking a step closer as he whispers softly "You don't have to stay then. I don't want you to gain hope for someone like me, especially if it'll hurt you." "Hurt me? Oh Bruce- I knew exactly what I was signing up for when I started hanging around you." You let out a bittersweet laugh before it quickly died at the sight of his face in it's usual melancholy.

"There might be a day that you lose me." He states.

"I had that fear before, the closest I've felt was when you started isolated yourself. I felt that fear so intensely. But I'm happy I did because at that moment I decided you were worth keeping in my life." You glance up at him noticing his eyes trailing down your face only to fixate on your lips "I want you here with me...In someway."

"You're too good for me."

There was a moment of silence, the air almost becoming suffocating as you just stood still. Years of tension like this never made it any easier, underlying feelings always becoming clear as they came to the surface for a brief moment. Even then both of you never brought it up, almost like an unspoken rule. These moments where meant to be hidden, a secret between you both that just built up the longer you stood by his side.

He leaned forward making your breath hitched, lips so close yet never touching. You looked up at him with pleading eyes for a kiss, a kiss that would finally break years of meaningful stares, like a proper confession. But it didn't come as he turned his head, pulling away while you let out a shaky sigh.

"I know what I just said but...I can't do this. Not like this." You break the silence as Bruce glances at you before his eyes lock onto a wall, avoiding your gaze. You walk up to him, pulling him closer by his forearm as a desperate attempt to get his attention.

"We can't keep doing this, we can't keep talking like it's normal when we look at each other like that- when we almost kiss!" You scoff at him before raising your voice again when he doesn't respond, "At least acknowledge it!"

"You're the one that wanted to stay. I didn't ask you to."

You grow more frustrated by the second while he goes back to continuing his silence, not even bothering to look at you. You could feel yourself tearing up much to your embarrassment as your voiced trembled.

"Bruce, what even are we?"

"Just friends."

Was all he said, those two words hitting you like a bullet as you couldn't help but freeze, it took a while before you slowly started nodding in bitter acceptance, "Is that what you really want?"

"It's what I need." He states.

That was all you needed to hear, turning around before making your way to the elevator door hastily.

"Then fucking act like it." You slam the vintage gate, the noise echoing across the cave as Bruce stayed still. Fighting every urge in his body to run after you. A memory of your teenage self doing the same thing crossed his mind.

Almost as quick he had a bitter realization.

'We never grew up, did we?'

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

What do you think would happen if one of the Cullens realized they might also be "in love" with Bella during Twilight along side Ed. Mates be damned (not like their marriages are gonna last anyway), and everyone's on the table (just 1 love rival, not at the same time buuuuut could you imagine the chaos? *cough*). The usual Bella eaten/killed by Eddy boi is def on the table obvie, but like do you think there's a chance he might concede to one of his family (or just any other alternatives)? -Sw

Oh boy.

Why I Don’t Think This Is a Possibility

That said, I have to caveat that I don’t think this is a very likely path (sorry, I cannot resist).

It’s true I don’t think any of the Cullen relationships will last in the long term, but I also don’t think they’re inclined to cheat on one another or fall apart at a moment’s notice. They’ve made it this long, several decades, but more, none of them realizes anything is lacking from their respective relationship. 

Carlisle and Esme are very devoted to one another and don’t realize they have fundamentally conflicting values. Jasper and Alice think they fulfil each other’s needs and don’t realize that they share nothing in common. Rosalie and Emmett’s is the healthiest relationship in the house but don’t see their major issues (Emmett doesn’t really support or understand Rosalie and Rosalie loves Emmett mostly for his love of her).

My point being, none of them are going to realize it’s not working out anytime soon. They’re going to need a catalyst, and per the end of Twilight, one is coming. Either a confrontation with the Volturi occurs, Renesmee decides to leave, the Cullen lifestyle changes, or things with Bella go awry. It can be any number of things, and it will happen given time, but at the start of Twilight we haven’t hit that point yet.

There’s also the fact that of the Cullens, only Edward would do this nonsense, and even for him it takes Bella’s delicious blood to grab his attention. When she was an ordinary human, he was not interested in the slightest, not even in her gift.

Each of the Cullens (Sans Alice and Esme) is completely baffled by Edward’s emotional whiplash and attachment to this human girl he doesn’t even know. Bella only becomes a vague concept to them when she enters as a serious fixture in Edward’s life, but even then, they really don’t know what to think.

No one in the family will do what Edward did in Twilight. Look at this girl they don’t even know and say “Ah, yes, I’m in love.” 

Now, that out of the way, let’s play ball.

Alice

This actually will work out shockingly well if only because I suspect Alice will come up with the pragmatic solution of “sharing”.

First, Alice is by far the closest Cullen member to Edward. He holds her in high esteem, feels a strong sense of kinship with her, actually confides in her, and sees her as a very close friend. Edward looks up to Carlisle and adores Esme, but it’s not the same.

If Alice sees herself as getting together with Bella I don’t think she’d see this as mutually exclusive to Edward having Bella. Alice cares deeply for Edward’s happiness, far more than she does Bella’s general existence, and I think the idea of entering a joint marriage with Edward and Bella would be very appealing to her.

She’d have to ease Edward into it, of course, as he’d balk at the very idea of it, but I think he’d see it as a strengthening of his and Alice’s relationship as well as having the wonderful Bella. Better yet, Alice can be physical with Bella while Edward can go compose music about their love.

As it is this... This is kind of what happens in canon.

Alice tells Edward that not only is he in love with Bella, but that Bella is going to be her best friend, so he better not muck it up. She has to ease him into the idea of being in love with Bella throughout the first part of Twilight. Then, when the relationship is solidified, Alice is right there introducing herself as Bella’s new BFF. Bella’s friendship with Alice throughout the series is extremely homoerotic and I imagine it remains so after Breaking Dawn.

Edward is very pleased that Bella counts Alice as her best friend, Alice being far and away his favorite sibling and the one he approves of Bella spending time with (generally, when she’s not foiling his schemes). 

I don’t think Alice and Bella will ever have sex, per se, but I imagine they remain quite physical with each other and Edward looks on with approval thinking to himself that this is how all female friendships should be.

And if Jasper has the nagging suspicion his wife is cheating on him then he’s not functioning quite well enough to put it into words just yet.

Carlisle

Edward would lose his mind.

First, Edward is very into Carlisle, and for all he insists his feelings are filial they sound remarkably romantic. I’d drop a quote, but it’s pretty much every time Edward thinks of Carlisle in Midnight Sun. More than that, Carlisle is the man Edward aspires to be, someone he sees as profoundly more good than he could ever hope to be.

Edward projects a very similar personality onto Bella herself.

So, I imagine if Carlisle sits Edward down and says, “Actually, Edward, I have fallen in love with this Bella” Edward feels very conflicting things all at once.

On the one hand, this means Esme/Carlisle is collapsing. Edward personally brought those two together and adores the idea of their relationship. Their relationship is what he hopes his and Bella’s will look like and is to him the married ideal of a perfect Mother and a perfect Father.

Carlisle/Esme alone falling apart would give him a complete existential crisis. That’s not allowed to happen. 

And then that Carlisle wants Bella Swan for himself?! Edward would be faced with the immediate,horrifying, thought that for all Carlisle is a vampire he would be the perfect man for saint like Bella. Carlisle and Bella deserve one another, would be perfect together, and Edward should not begrudge them that.

On the other hand, Edward himself is in love with Bella, and while he thought he could nobly leave her, now he has to nobly stand to the side and watch as Carlsile and her marry. It’d be a very romantic and tragic thing to do, but there’s leaving Bella to her human life, and then watching her up front for the rest of eternity while bitterly hiding his feelings.

More, Carlisle will turn her. If Bella is his true love, then there’s no question of that. Edward’s seen where this goes with Emmett. He will destroy Bella Swan to be with her forever, and Edward will have to live with the shell of Bella Swan staring back at him, fucking his father, forever.

I imagine Edward desperately pretends to concede to Carlisle, to be happy for the pair of them, but as things progress and Bella’s permanent position in the family looks more and more likely, he loses his mind. He’ll snap and there is no telling what he might do.

My money’s on him mercy killing Bella while she’s still human behind Carlisle’s back. He’s sobbing while he does it, but he just can’t let Bella be tarnished by vampirism, and now he will carry this tragic, terrible, secret for the rest of time.

Whether Carlisle was going to turn her or not is up to debate. Given he turned none after Emmett, I think he learned his lesson from Rosalie and would be more than willing to let Bella go, even if he loves her, should it mean he would not force something she does not want and does not understand upon her.

That said, I think he’d never tell Edward his feelings for Bella, as that would ruin Edward’s fledgling relationship with the girl. This is Edward’s first brush with love and seems to be the only romantic love he’ll ever have. Edward has been so miserable for so long that Carlisle would easily give up his own happiness for Edward.

So, more likely, Twilight would happen anyway and Carlisle would spend the entire time being utterly miserable and pretending he’s perfectly fine. LOOK HOW HAPPY HE IS, ESME.

Emmett

Edward tattles to Rosalie immediately.

He loves Emmett, but he knows Emmett can’t possibly be serious about this, and more, fundamentally doesn’t understand how wonderful and amazing Bella is. He wants to turn her into a vampire, clearly, Emmett doesn’t know what’s best for the girl.

More, a man who would so easily break his marriage vows (even to Rosalie), does not deserve Bella Swan.

Edward watches Rosalie and Emmett’s marriage utterly disintegrate with a juice box filled with mountain lion blood and swoops in on Bella while Emmett is thoroughly distracted. Edward then gaslights Bella into believing Emmett is dangerous and despises her, making Emmett the new and improved Jasper.

Esme

Esme would never tell Edward or likely even realize her feelings for Bella herself. If she did though, she would give up the possibility of a future with Bella Swan in a heartbeat for Edward’s happiness, which means everything to her.

Esme will have no regrets, won’t even smile sadly at Bella, because she has Carlsile as her consolation prize and she gets to see the joy in both Bell and Edward’s faces which is far more important than having Bella to herself.

Esme would live vicariously through Bella and Edward’s relationship as well as the very existence of Renesmee.

Like Alice, this is one of those things that’s pretty much canon. I won’t say anything for Esme’s feelings, it’s more that Esme ships Bella with Edward (and mostly because Edward himself comes to obsess over her), but she does seem to vicariously get her joy through their nuclear family within the Cullen family.

Esme is a very strange person.

Jasper

Edward would attempt to murder Jasper or at least severely injure him. Jasper would be the ultimate threat to Bella, not even a man unworthy of her but not a man at all, and exactly what Edward needs to protect Bella against.

Alice tries to stop the fight, to no avail, and Edward will ultimately lose (despite all his confidence). I imagine Jasper doesn’t kill him, but tears apart his limbs, and uses Edward’s lack of mobility to kidnap and then turn Bella.

Bella has no idea what’s happening and the next thing she knows she’s a vampire and Jasper is telling her they have to leave the area (as he must now leave the coven).

Edward tries to track them down for the rest of eternity. He will get vengeance upon Jasper and save Bella this terrible demonic existence forced upon her. Of course, he ends up lost in Rio.

Rosalie

Edward would tell her that her feelings cannot possibly be real. Bella is a woman. More, Rosalie is unworthy of Bella in every possible regard, even more so than Edward himself.

Basically, Edward would lay into Rosalie in a way that he never has before with all of his venom. He will do everything he can to sabotage Bella’s opinion of Rosalie before Rosalie can even get a word in edgewise. He is successful at it due to Bella’s perilously low self esteem (much the reason he was successful with this endeavor in canon).

Rosalie and Edward get in a vicious fight and I imagine Rosalie eventually confronts Bella, making an opportunity to do so, and both warns her away from Edward, tells her everything, and offers to turn her despite Rosalie’s own mixed experiences.

Rosalie and Edward probably then fight and it quickly turns into something that’s very serious. If Edward wins, he murders Rosalie in the heat of the moment, and then leaves the coven in horror over what Carlisle must think of him now. If Rosalie wins... I don’t think she will, she cares for Edward far too much and would never truly be able to aim to kill or maim.

Edward disappears, drowning in his self hatred, and returns to find Bella Swan at some later date unable to resist the call of her scent. Depending where she is in her life, he likely murders her human husband if she has one and dvours her, as Alice prophesied so long ago.

[smokeandrosemary]

With what we’ve seen so far as an audience, we know that Izzy Hands is far from stupid.  He’s cunning enough to play a long game to it’s conclusion, to get Ed out of trouble every single time it comes to call.  He’s wicked smart, or he wouldn’t have survived this long.

But to see this man desperately cling to the idea of his god is damn near painful.  OFMD is a clear rom-com in many places, but played from the POV of Izzy it’s a tragedy in two parts.

  The first part is what we’ve already seen in season 1.  OFMD goes dark in places, but we only see glimpses of the person Ed was before he met Stede--a man who burned entire ships with the crew still onboard, a man who loves a good maim and takes no shit from anyone.  Izzy has fought next to that Blackbeard for years, and he respects him so much that he will do anything to protect him.  He engages with Ed in the only way he knows how, in the only way that is allowed in his world--you can fight and die for each other, but vulnerability is weakness.  Kindness and stupidity are the same damn thing, and they’ll both get you killed.  Izzy has built his world around Blackbeard, and seeing Ed on the Revenge throws his entire universe off its axis.

  In a matter of days, Izzy is watching the legendary Blackbeard dress up in frilly shirts and spend all his time with a silly little dandy who doesn’t know port from starboard.  The logic of the universe has imploded, and instead of being a real pirate, Blackbeard is reduced to cartoon antics and domesticity.  To be a pirate is to go against the grain of acceptable society, but as far as Izzy can see there is a right way to go against the grain.  Stede and his crew implode that worldview. Their lack of respect for everything he holds dear is made all the worse by a few things: open queerness, for one, shown by his targeting of Lucius almost as soon as they meet.  The other is the Muppet logic we all know and love.  By nature of it’s comedy, OFMD makes fun of the gritty pirate genre that Izzy lives in, and it pisses him off. So. Bad.

  The pressure of all this sends him into Dramatic Homoerotic Mode, in all it’s “and they were roommates” glory.  Look at his fighting during the duel on the Revenge: he’s absolutely ruthless, striking like a snake. He wants Stede dead, and he runs the little shit through because when you get stabbed you’re supposed to die.  That’s how the world works.

Except that it doesn’t.  Stede fucking Bonnet dodges a stab in the gut and comes out the other side unscathed.  Again.  So Izzy decides to outsource to someone he knows can’t be easily swayed by the twilight zone: the Royal Navy.  Piracy was deeply illegal in 1717, the Navy would down a ship without hesitation for flying Blackbeard’s flag.  Think how desperate he must have been to sell out to an enemy like that.  He risked his own neck betting that they would want Stede Bonnet more than they’d want Blackbeard’s right hand man.

  In his mind, getting rid of Stede will solve the problem at hand: his god is disappearing in front of his eyes, but he can’t look away.  He has to watch the man he loves turn into something unrecognizable.  And then finally, finally, it seems to be over.  Calico Jack will appeal to Blackbeard’s sense of nostalgia and get him out while Stede gets shot (can’t dodge a firing squad, eh Bonnet?) and dies like he was supposed to all along.  The world will return to it’s axis.

  Instead, the legendary Blackbeard stands in front of his boyfriend with naked fear in his eyes and screams for grace.  Like a coward.  Like a stranger.  Then the beard is shaved away (the SYMBOLISM I SWEAR), Ed becomes a weeping widow, and Izzy loses his mind. 

It’s no surprise that after all that, Izzy is in absolute religious bliss when his Ed “returns” to him with an act of violence so brutal, so familiar.  Stede is gone.  Blackbeard is Blackbeard again.  The world makes sense to this crooked little man, for now.

Season 2 Izzy may see that his Blackbeard is back, but his loyalty may have cost him everything.  Stede is gone, but the problem remains--Ed has changed, no matter what mask he throws on.  He’s experienced a world that he so desperately wanted to be a part of, a world of marmalade and fine fabrics and melon spoons and Stede.  And thanks in part to Izzy, that world is gone.  He’s been left the jilted widow.  As heartbreaking as it was, I think seeing Ed’s absolute grief at that loss gives us hope that he does want it all back--no matter how many bridges he’s trying to burn along the way. 

Izzy Hands is not a stupid man.  He will see Blackbeard engage in his expected duties of cruelty and rage, and I think that will bring him joy for a while.  Despite that, Ed will slip further away from him after everything that’s happened. 

The thing is, Ed will slip away as someone recognizable this time, as “himself”, and Izzy will be forced to realize that Stede Bonnet was not the whole problem.  Ed has changed course on a fundamental level, and Izzy will see his god choosing to abandon him after every act of devotion, after all his efforts and all their history.

I’ll just...leave that here.

[intergalactic-garbage]

things i would’ve loved to see in hoo:

- trans dude frank

- more homoerotic interactions between reyna and annabeth (think about it - both children of the war goddesses of their respective pantheons, their wits the sharpest of their camps; then cj is attacked by possesed leo and reyna thinks annabeth, whom she trusted and came to care for in those few moments they shared, betrayed her)

- jason “raised by wolves” grace - dude straight up lived with lupa’s pack for YEARS and got raised by them during his formative years (when going on how normal human memories, he wouldn’t have even remembered his mother - his earliest memories would have been of lupa), and yet we never see him tearing at a steak with his face? he’s never tapping his foot, wanting to scratch an itch with it? this would’ve been perfectly in line with riordan’s humor, he missed an opportunity

- rachel elizabeth dare and grover playing an actual role in the plot, not just being seen in that one scene in hoh. the different povs in chapers should’ve been played around with more - give us a pov of someone from the camps, or rachel/grover - the seven were only one part of the many moving elements in the plot and the dream sequences hardly made up for it

- romance being either tied directly into the plot like in pjo or eliminated completely; not seen as a plot device (eg. reyna considering getting involved with octavian when confronted with the possibility of him becoming praetor)

- a villain who’s more than literally just “ehehe i am earth. am bad. want to kill you. no i don’t have a particular reason”. pjo had luke which was so good because he spent the first book establishing how nice he is, how he’s an older brother to everyone at camp, how eager he’s to show you the ropes and young me knew he was going to turn but i had such a hard time believing it. the rest of the books don’t make things any easier because luke is plotting this horrible thing, but is it really horrible? until today people are fighting about whether he was right or not. and they have to stop him but he used to be their friend. they used to care about each other so much and that care doesn’t just go away when he betrays them. so they’re faced with one impossible choice and they know what they have to do but can they? anyways hoo wishes it was half as complex as pjo

- the leo/sammy doppleganger situation should have been expanded upon more beyond the exuse for the leo/hazel/frank love triangle. no i don’t know how. but it just makes it look like rick put it in there for funsies and never did anything with it. my mind keeps going back to a time travel plot but i know this is the riordanverse and We Don’t Do That Here

- octavian being more than “i created this character so fans could have someone to hate”

- the author not feeling so needed to write a blockbuster epic story like the avengers or whatever was in cinemas at that time. it was supposed to be a continuation of pjo, but instead of expanding upon the characters we had met in it, we barely saw any of them, they were forgotten, only the few main were placed in the spotlight, along with a bunch of new characters we’d never seen before. the focus was on the seven and a few other characters

- “the gods decided to not interact with mortals” was a stupid decision, especially considering the ending of tlo. percy asked the gods to be more present in their children’s lives, they, albeit reluctantly, accepted. and the next time we see them they remove themselves from their lives. the central conflict of the previous series had arised because nobody knew of the gods, what they were up to. there was no lexicon of rules, they just had to wait; and they grew tired of it. the gods should have been visiting them, awkwardly integrating themselves in their lives, not the exact opposite. not setting up for another demigod uprising

- i know this is just wishful thinking but. there should’ve been more of the riordanverse. yes i know there were already a bajilion other plot lines and we had the romans introduced but. i would’ve been fine with even just a little nod. or a character from a different pantheon appearing. this is all in the same universe as the huge chaos snake and the other, world snake and i just think it should’ve been expanded upon more

- frank’s firewood should have had. a role. you set up your character to be “the most powerful” of the seven, all extremely powerful protagonists, and then decide to ignore him for the last book and a half?

- by far one of the things that irritated me the most was how everyone survived. this was supposed to be a sequel series to a children’s series that had one of the main characters stab himself after realizing that this was the right thing to do. a daughter of the goddess of beauty got acid spit in her face. tlo is my favourite of the pjo books because it’s the climax, and it lays it down as it is - not as some heroic fight scene of good vs. evil, but people, being people. making choices for the ones they love and making mistakes because they don’t know what’s right. in boo, there’s an attempt at this “great last battle”, but if anything, this was undermined by the fact that nobody died. (i did like how leo coming back was framed, even if i’m not a terrible fan of caleo, nico feeling leo’s spirit alive, leo having a “surprise” chapter at the end.. goosebumps man) (though i suppose jason could’ve died right there and there. “to storm or fire” and everything)

- more hazel/nico getting confused by modern technology - i just think it would’ve been funny to see hazel hear about some event that happened between the 30s and present day and be like “you said what-” it’s good humor and also characterbuilding

- however, if we’re so horribly set on having romantic relationships, valdangelo is right there. nico can’t face his queerness. leo understands machines better than people. they both carry an immense sadness within, but it made them totally different people. and the dynamic? everything you could’ve wanted

[unlikely-course]

The tl;drs of this very long post, which is about Gideon’s arc and her relationship to Harrow:

-Gideon’s arc in gtn is a corruption arc because tlt is not just goth but Gothic

-Gideon “forgives” Harrow because of Trauma and that’s definitely not the endpoint of how she feels about Harrow or their past

-The narrative knows what it’s doing

When Gideon says “For the Ninth!” as she dies, and thinks “this is the loyalty they always said I lacked, this is me making good” that’s not growth, that’s part of the tragedy of the moment. Like, the Ninth does not deserve her allegiance! It is, as Gideon was the first to remind us, rotten to the core. When she dies, it’s for Harrow, and her saying it’s for the Ninth does represent on some level that she’s come to new understanding about who Harrow is and how Harrow views herself *as* the Ninth, but like this is, I mean. Bad. Harrow herself does not deserve Gideon’s loyalty! Gideon gives it to her because it is a relief. Gideon is very good, yes, but the forgiveness is a response to trauma. The second Harrow shows even the slightest vulnerability or regard for Gideon, Gideon is eager to make amends because she has been starved for any positive association to others for her entire life, and Harrow was literally the only peer she ever had to associate with. She correctly identified that resistance to Ninth society was vital to her survival and selfhood, but also that shit is exhausting. That resistance is also partially formed by that society conveying to her: we have no place for you, we have no use for you as you are, and that makes you hateful to us.

Her response to Harrow and the cavalier role then is pretty classic! It is a relief to have a place, to be able to stop fighting, to give herself over to a structure sold to her as one in which she can support and be supported, to resolve the central conflict and most complicated relationship of her life. I maintain that you the reader are also supposed to feel initially relieved and even cheered by Gideon and Harrow growing closer and then gradually unsettled when Gideon embraces cavalierhood and the increasingly invasive demands of the trials, and has her mindset adjusted in increments toward sacrifice. To feel her thoughts turn in this direction is alarming! This is purposeful, and it is purposefully mixed in with good feelings, the same good feelings that Gideon is getting, to distract from and inoculate you against what is happening just as Gideon is inoculated against it.

In addition, Canaan House is a very particular crucible. This is not only the first time that Gideon has ever been bombarded with new people and experiences, but also the first time she’s faced these unknown external threats, which pushes her to unite with the familiar (Harrow) against them. Her past and present environments have made it so that the compassion she comes to feel for Harrow gets bound up in the idea of being loyal to her house, the ‘contract’ of her new role, and the positive interaction it gives her until the idea of her offering her life to Harrow is not simply necessary in the moment but good and right. Redeeming, even, when we as readers know she has nothing she needs redemption for. 

Gideon is so very angry when she comes to in htn, and it is not merely anger at those who have wronged Harrow or anger at Harrow for endangering herself. On the First, she made a simple deal: her life for relief from the emotional state she had to live it in. Forgiveness for some kind of peace. And when she wakes up that exchange is refuted. Gideon frames Harrow’s actions as a rejection of herself out of low self-esteem but also in an attempt to deal with unresolved anger she has towards Harrow, anger that cannot fit into the cavalier role she wants to embody, anger that she attempted to trade away but in actuality can’t. Because the role she was sold, the type of relationship the cavalier and necro is supposed to be, is ultimately false. It encompasses very real and deep relationships, as we have seen, but the framework uses these real elements to its own ends, the Empire’s ends, and despite its proclamations of mutual care the relationship is always at the cavalier’s expense.

This is what it means to say Gideon’s arc in gtn is a corruption arc. It’s not that she becomes “bad,” it’s that the corrupting forces of the narrative have reached out and altered her, worn her down, seduced her even. This is Gideon’s first contact with the wider Empire, in the seat and seed of its wretched power, and it has used her goodness, her capacity for connection (and yes for forgiveness as well!) against her to further ensnare her, to draw her in line with itself. And then she dies for it, as it demands! Wow. And the we have the other side of that, which is when Gideon says “For the Ninth!” she’s signaling to Harrow that she has come to value what Harrow values, just as Harrow herself, watching in horror, has come to realize her values are very fucked up.

And Harrow has indeed realized that by that time! Harrow really does travel such a distance in gtn, but this is largely obscured from us just the same as plot details are in the book, by the limits of Gideon’s perception. And let me be clear: this is a feature, not a bug. It is not a weakness. It is vital! Integral! To the above, and all it entails for Gideon as a character and the overall themes of the series, that Gideon forgive Harrow without Harrow having “earned” it or made real amends. The fact that she does conveys to us everything I’ve just been talking about!

Furthermore, this story is in conversation with a rather particular type of Christianity, but Gideon’s Jesus parallels are even more widely applicable. Forgiveness is kind of a whole theme with that guy, and the book is also plenty interested in what it costs for a human to forgive as divinely as scripture demands (to forgive as the bond demands, as the empire demands). In some ways there are good things that may come of it, sure, but it is not a purely redemptive force for the giver or receiver. It does not necessarily resolve.

I myself can’t say that I ship Gideon and Harrow in the way people traditionally think of shipping, nor as I have traditionally shipped other characters. Still, I reject the notion that that way of relating to each other is not a central part of the questions the book is asking. Like before, when I was talking about Gideon finding something to believe in in the way the adept/cavalier bond is sold to her—although we see that bond encompass many different types of relationships it is in Gideon and Harrow’s case speaking to how romantic love (much like that forgiveness!) is not immediately and entirely redemptive. I mean, Muir does say the series is about how love can be redemptive, but I think can be is the operative phrase here, in that it’s also first demonstrating the ways it’s not, or at least not always the way we think it will be--the limits and then the power. Trying to set that aspect of the relationship aside (like a “sisters” route or something similar) is a weak and queasy side-stepping of the issue.

Remember that interview where Muir says something along the lines of like, she didn’t write it as necessarily romantic but definitely homoerotic? Yeah. 

Despite all that I do want to make it clear that I hope Gideon and Harrow work it out in the end. Just don’t assume the narrative does not understand what working it out might entail. And who knows? I might have the read all wrong. Maybe Muir doesn’t understand what she’s doing. But I feel pretty compelled by the textual evidence.

[jackiearbs]

things that rwrb characters have said that i will never forget, a thread:

alex claremont-diaz, giving off dumbass™ energy (he has the most on this thread, for obvious reasons) 

- "put them in my room, put them in my room, put them in my room-" 

-  “Jesus Christ, it’s like they can see into your soul. cornbread knows my sins, Henry. cornbread knows what I have done, and he is here to make me atone.”   

- "do it for the 'gram"

- "leading member of korean pop band bts kim nam-june" 

- "whatever, fine. henry is annoyingly attractive. that’s always been a thing, objectively. it’s fine.”

- "see attached bibliography"

- "i said, you look great, baby!”

- "yo there’s a bond marathon on and did you know your dad was a total babe"

- "awesome, fuckin' love doing things out of spite.”

-”Huge Raging Headache Prince Henry of Who Cares”

-”it is amazing you can sit down to write emails with that gigantic royal stick up your ass.” 

- “who names a dog David? He sounds like a tax attorney.”

-” “Do I go on your side of the cubicle and turn off your Dropkick Murphys Spotify station, no matter how much I want to?” Alex demands. “No, Hunter, I don’t.”

- “for fuck's sake, man, you just had my dick in your mouth, you can kiss me good-night.”

- “Bake Off makes Chopped look like the fucking Manson tapes.”

- “THEY KNOW. THEY KNOW I HAVE ROBBED THEM OF FIVE-STAR ACCOMMODATIONS TO SIT IN A CAGE IN MY ROOM, AND THE MINUTE I TURN MY BACK THEY ARE GOING TO FEAST ON MY FLESH.”

- “You’re from Boston, Hunter. You really want to talk about all the places bigotry comes from?” (he really hates hunter goddamn) 

-”so, what? you want me to quit politics and go become a princess? that’s not very feminist of you.” 

hrh prince dickhead😎  - "the moment you first called me a prick, my fate was sealed. O, fathers of my bloodline! O, ye kings of olde! Take this crown from me, bury me in my ancestral soil. If only you had known the mighty work of thine loins would be undone by a gay heir who likes it when American boys with chin dimples are mean to him.”

-"“I’ve been gay as a maypole since the day I came out of Mum, Philip.”

-”i will turn this car around.”

- “yes, the cocaine, alex.” 

-”i am a delight!”

-”have i mentioned lately that you’re a demon?” 

- “are you psychoanalyzing me? i don't think royal guests are allowed to do that.”

- "i can't believe even mortal peril will not prevent you from being the way you are.”

-“the phrase ‘see attached bibliography’ is the single sexiest thing you have ever written to me.”

-"i just mean to say, you know, Philip is the heir and I'm the spare, and if that nervy bastard has a heart attack at thirty five and I've got malaria, whither the spare?”

- “they wanted something less fruity than the truth, but truly, what is gayer than a woman who languishes away in a crumbling mansion wearing her wedding gown every day of her life, for the drama?”

- “You are a delinquent and a plague. Please come?”

- “fat and sexually conquered, snuffed out in the spring of my youth. Here lies Prince Henry of Wales. He died as he lived: avoiding plans and sucking cock.”

june:  “- that is a clear quartz crystal for good vibes do not @ me.” 

- “He’s just so frail, it’d only take one good push-”

- “ugh! men! no emotional vocabulary. i can’t believe our ancestors survived centuries of wars and plagues and genocide just to wind up with your sorry ass.” 

nora: 

-”sorry, are we not? did i skip ahead again? my bad. hello, would you like to come out to me? im listening. hi.” 

“prince henry is a biscuit. let him sop you up.”  

- “you’ve been, like, Draco Malfoy–level obsessed with Henry for years.”

- “i don’t know, man. I was in my junior year of high school, and I touched a boob. It wasn’t very profound. Nobody’s gonna write an Off-Broadway play about it.”

dahra: 

- “You need to get back to fucking England now, and if anyone sees you leave, I will personally end you. Ask me if I’m afraid of the crown.”

- “both sides need to come out of this looking like your little slap-fight at the wedding was some homoerotic frat bro mishap, okay? So, you can hate the heir to the throne all you want, write mean poems about him in your diary, but the minute you see a camera, you act like the sun shines out of his dick, and you make it convincing.”

-”come on, you backyard-shooting-range motherfuckers,”

ellen (should i say PRESIDENT claremont) 

- “Diaz, you insane, hopeless romantic little shit"

-  “I had Planned Parenthood send over all these pamphlets, take one! They sent a bike messenger and everything!”

- ”where? Are you hiding a turkey habitat up your ass, son? Where, in our historically protected house, am I going to put a couple of turkeys until I pardon them tomorrow?”

-“As your mother, I can appreciate that maybe this isn’t your fault, but as the president, all I want is to have the CIA fake your death and ride the dead-kid sympathy into a second term.”

PEZ !!!

- “frolic naked in the hills, frighten the sheep, return to the house for the usual: tea, biscuits, casting ourselves onto the Thighmaster of love to moan about the Claremont-Diaz siblings, which has become tragically one-sided since Henry took it up with you. It used to be all bottles of cognac and shared malaise and ‘When will they notice us’-” 

-”-and now i just ask henry, ‘what is your secret?’ and he says, ‘i insult alex all the time, and that seems to work.’” 

**extra: nicer quotes from alex and henry 

alex heartthrob diaz  - "never tell me the odds"

-"we were not afforded that liberty."

-“I hate this so much. I know. But we’re gonna do it together. And we’re gonna make it work. You and me and history, remember? We’re just gonna fucking fight. Because you’re it, okay? I’m never gonna love anybody in the world like I love you. So, I promise you, one day we’ll be able to just be, and fuck everyone else.”

- “On purpose. I love him on purpose.”

- “history, huh? Bet we could make some.”

- “But the truth is, also, simply this: love is indomitable.”

-“Take anything you want and know you deserve to have it.”

- “Someone else’s choice doesn’t change who you are.”

- “I am the First Son of the United States, and I'm bisexual. History will remember us.”

- “America: He is my choice.”

- “Give yourself away sometimes, sweetheart, There's so much of you.”

- the entire list of the things he loves about henry. i would die 

henry: 

-”i’ll be damned but i miss you.” 

- “when you rang me at truly shocking hours of the night, I loved you. When you kissed me in disgusting public toilets and pouted in hotel bars and made me happy in ways in which it had never even occurred to me that a mangled-up, locked-up person like me could be happy, I loved you. and then, inexplicably, you had the absolute audacity to love me back. Can you believe it?”

- “it sounds like you did your best.”

- “I’ve bloody well had it. I’ve sat about long enough letting you and Gran and the weight of the damned world keep me pinned, and I’m finished. I don’t care. You can take your legacy and your decorum and you can shove it up your fucking arse, Philip. I’m done.”

- “Should I tell you that when we’re apart, your body comes back to me in dreams? That when I sleep, I see you, the dip of your waist, the freckle above your hip, and when I wake up in the morning, it feels like I’ve just been with you, the phantom touch of your hand on the back of my neck fresh and not imagined? That I can feel your skin against mine, and it makes every bone in my body ache? That, for a few moments, I can hold my breath and be back there with you, in a dream, in a thousand rooms, nowhere at all?”

[gusu-emilu]

Ship: Wei Wuxian / Wen Ning

Summary: Wei Wuxian gives Wen Ning a heartbeat, but not in the way either of them expected.

Rated T, No Warnings Apply

Poorly-concealed Wen Ning character study

Emotional hurt/comfort

Burial Mounds settlement days

Pining, cuddling, and homoerotic necromancy

First kiss

Demisexual vibes

Guest appearance from A-Yuan

Ch. 2/2, 6k (12k total), read on AO3 above or on Tumblr below

Wei Wuxian gives a low, melodic laugh. “What I want, but can’t have? More potatoes. Do me a favor and beg your jiejie about that for me.”

Unsurprising that Wei Wuxian would deflect the question. “If you don’t want to tell me, that’s okay.” Nervousness and guilt twitches in Wen Ning’s fingers. “I—I shouldn’t—”

He’s doing this all wrong. He should let Wei Wuxian ease into sharing what is troubling him, the way Wei Wuxian eases him into new experiments, not stumble around so bluntly with his words.

But Wei Wuxian doesn’t seem bothered. He looks down from the sky at Wen Ning. “How about you tell me a few things too?” He removes his arm from around Wen Ning’s waist and leans away, stretching, then rests his hand beneath his head. “The heart of a demonic cultivator is black and evil and, most importantly, elusive.” He smirks, the corners of his eyes crinkling. “You’ll have to trade for it.”

Wen Ning knits his brow. “Your heart isn’t evil. It sounds nice, and feels nice, like you—” He stops himself, immediately wishing he hadn’t spoken, and wishing he could sink into the earth.

Wei Wuxian laughs again, sounding a bit surprised. “Is that so? Well, why didn’t you say that earlier?”

With one arm wrapped beneath Wen Ning, he pulls him closer for him to lay his head on Wei Wuxian’s shoulder. Wen Ning remains stiff, unsure if he should hold Wei Wuxian again—he just revealed too much, didn’t he? Wei Wuxian must feel uncomfortable...

But Wei Wuxian tugs a bit more, until Wen Ning can’t help it and awkwardly curls into Wei Wuxian. He welcomes the warmth from his body, even as he feels he shouldn’t accept this invitation.

“Since it's you,” Wei Wuxian says, “you won’t have to trade as much. But first…” He sucks in his upper lip, tongue peeking out of the corner of his mouth the way he does when he’s leaning over his notes and thinking through a design plan.

He takes Wen Ning’s hand and guides it so his fingers touch the opening of Wei Wuxian’s robes.

“Is this okay?” he asks.

Slightly confused as to what is happening, Wen Ning nods.

Wei Wuxian’s fingers wrap around tighter as he slides both of their hands under his robes.

“W-Wei-gongzi—”

He continues to slowly guide Wen Ning until he feels Wei Wuxian’s bare chest, heartbeat meeting his palm.

Anxiety crawls into Wen Ning’s throat as Wei Wuxian’s heartbeat quickens under his cold touch.

He is a corpse.

His chances of dying during the Sunshot Campaign were only slightly less than his clansmen on the front lines. He could have been nothing more than another Wen struck down in war and raised from the dead by Wei Wuxian, a nameless, mindless weapon, reanimated to fight his own people, cast aside once no longer useful. He has a consciousness, but the state of his body is no different from another fierce corpse.

What if, deep down, he reminds Wei Wuxian of every snarling, bloodthirsty corpse he called forth, reminds him of how he used them to kill thousands during the war? What if he reminds Wei Wuxian of the three months he spent fighting for his life in the Burial Mounds?

If something Wei Wuxian wants, but can’t have, is for Wen Ning not to touch him—he would never say it.

“But—but—isn’t it cold?” Wen Ning asks.

Wei Wuxian shrugs. “It is.” He doesn’t sound the slightest bothered. “I’m going to freeze out here in the woods, and it’ll be all your fault.”

Worry takes over Wen Ning’s expression as he starts to pull away. Wei Wuxian just laughs and presses down on his hand, trapping him.

“I like it, okay?” he says. “How could I feel cold? You’re the warmest person I know.”

Unable to express how those words burrow into him, blooming into gratitude and relief and yet still not fully settling the anxiety, Wen Ning curls closer, resting his head on Wei Wuxian’s shoulder. He lets in the comfort of the warmth of Wei Wuxian’s body and the heat of his chest below Wen Ning’s hand, counting his heartbeats to steady his mind.

“You next,” Wei Wuxian says. “We’re taking turns. Tell me something you want but can’t have.”

Wen Ning quickly realizes what a challenging question this is. To find something meaningful to share that will not make Wei Wuxian feel sad or guilty.

“I…I want to learn to sew,” Wen Ning mumbles.

“Really!” Wei Wuxian shifts under him, sounding genuinely surprised.

“I know how, kind of, for just—just something useful. But not how to make something pretty. My clan didn’t teach that to boys.”

“Let’s have Granny teach you, then!”

“I don’t know…my hands are so clumsy now.”

Detailed handiwork requires all his focus. Despite how it soothes him, even helping Jiejie make medicine saps his mental energy. He can easily carry everyone’s heavy loads and take on the roughest labor in the fields, some of his favorite ways to help, but he has traded for it with the little delicacy he once had.

Wei Wuxian strokes Wen Ning’s wrist under his robes. “It’ll just take practice. You’re still getting used to your strength.”

“I...I guess so.”

“You’ve made this much progress, haven’t you? You used to barely be able to hold a teacup. Learning to sew would help you adjust to your strength more. Plus, Granny wants to spend more time with you.”

“She does?”

“Yeah! A-Yuan always keeps her busy lately. You’re much less of a headache than him.” Wei Wuxian clicks his tongue. “Such a demanding child. Always wanting to run off somewhere, eat more snacks, shout whatever he feels…”

A smile tugs at Wen Ning’s lips. “I think I know who he learned that from.”

“Hey!” Wei Wuxian knocks on the back of Wen Ning’s head. “You’re not allowed to tease me.”

“…I think I know who I learned that from.”

Wei Wuxian laughs, his chest shaking under Wen Ning’s hand. The sensation fills Wen Ning with happiness, hearing Wei Wuxian’s laughter, feeling his joy vibrate through his body. Wen Ning wishes he were better at making jokes so he could feel this again and again.

“Alright, alright, go easy on me,” Wei Wuxian says. “And by the way, you can learn to sew. That doesn’t count as something you can’t have. But I’ll take it.”

“Then it’s your turn.”

They exchange small wishes back and forth, mostly about landmarks they miss from their hometown or little opportunities that had already passed. Half of Wei Wuxian’s wishes are about other people—for Uncle Four to stop snoring when they sit around the campfire, for Jiejie to get her medical texts published, for Jiang Wanyin to get a sense of humor.

Wen Ning begins to wonder if Wei Wuxian is intentionally steering the conversation away from himself.

Maybe if Wen Ning shares more, Wei Wuxian will too. If he doesn’t reveal something deeper, how will Wei Wuxian feel comfortable to reveal something serious in return?

Once Wen Ning allows it, deeper needs bubble up inside him and beg for his voice.

I want to go back to the beginning of the war and protect my family.

I want to taste and feel and breathe again.

I want you…

“I want to attend a real archery competition,” he says instead.

“You’re not missing much. It wouldn’t be a competition. You’d beat everyone there!”

Wen Ning tries to protest, but Wei Wuxian shushes him. Finally, Wei Wuxian relents and lets him speak. “You know I was never good at doing archery in front of other people. Not like you—you're even able to swordfight with an audience.”

Wei Wuxian scoffs. “You mean I used to be able to swordfight. And besides, the whole point is to have an audience. If you don’t carry your sword when everyone is looking, someone will scold you,” he says, sounding bitter.

Not for the first time, Wen Ning realizes he touched upon a sore topic only when it’s too late.

He tries to fill in the pieces of Wei Wuxian’s words. Usually when Wei Wuxian mentions someone scolding him, he means Hanguang-Jun. Wen Ning has heard the stories about him on the nights Wei Wuxian had drank too much. Despite how they are drawn to each other, and look out for each other, Wei Wuxian remains convinced that all Hanguang-Jun wants is to reprimand him for demonic cultivation.

Or at least he pretends he’s convinced of this. It must be difficult to hide the core transfer from a man who keeps offering to guide him to the right path, to heal him.

Wen Ning hadn’t realized how much the core transfer would alienate Wei Wuxian from the other cultivators.

Wei Wuxian shifts onto his back, facing directly up toward the belt of stars behind dark silhouettes of trees, seeming lost in thought. “Have you ever kissed anyone?” he suddenly asks.

Wen Ning’s entire body stiffens. “No.”

How did they get to this topic?

“That’s a pity. So many ladies who missed out on that chance.” Wei Wuxian sighs, then grins. “Well, it doesn’t matter. I don’t think either of us are going to be courting ladies anytime soon.”

“L-Ladies?” Wen Ning echoes with a mix of surprise and alarm. Then he realizes what his reaction might imply, and grows quiet, wishing he could suck the words back into himself.

Wei Wuxian is quiet for a few moments. “Don’t tell me the Ghost General is afraid of girls.”

“I’m—I’m not—I just…I was…”

“Haven’t you ever liked a girl?” Wei Wuxian’s voice is teasing, but there’s an undercurrent of hesitancy.

Attraction has always been complicated for Wen Ning. He had been never sure if what he felt was admiration, a desire to become friends, or a simple appreciation for beauty. Wen Ning might wonder if he's a cutsleeve, but it’s hard to know when he has only fallen for a single person in his entire life.

“I like them, just not…not…”

“Not that way,” Wei Wuxian suggests.

“…Right.”

“Hm.” Crickets chirp in the forest, as if suggesting ideas to Wei Wuxian as he thinks. “Then…boys?”

“Not—not every boy.” Not anyone who isn’t you.

The admission sends a wave of dread through Wen Ning. His clan would’ve never allowed him to be a cutsleeve. Never mind having feelings for the person who helped destroy them.

“Huh.” Wei Wuxian rubs his thumb over Wen Ning’s hand where it still rests on Wei Wuxian’s chest under his robes. “I had no idea.”

This game to share their wishes might have been a bad idea. How did Wen Ning end up revealing so much about himself, while he still hasn’t been offered a burden to lift from Wei Wuxian’s shoulders?

Wen Ning does something with his throat reminiscent of swallowing and musters up the courage to say, “I was actually surprised because…” then trails off, losing the boldness as quickly as it came.

What use is this? Even if he coaxes Wei Wuxian into talking about Hanguang-Jun, what can Wen Ning do to fix the situation? He isn’t even sure of precisely what Wei Wuxian and Hanguang-Jun have between them.

But maybe just talking about it will make Wei Wuxian feel better, the way Wen Ning had felt better by telling Jiejie about the times he had been bullied. He couldn’t undo the damage of those memories, but he had felt better sharing them.

Yet, what right does Wen Ning have to know about Wei Wuxian’s feelings?

Wei Wuxian waits, and when Wen Ning doesn’t continue, he begins lightly tapping the back of Wen Ning’s hand. “Because what?”

“I just didn’t expect you to want to kiss a lady.”

“How can you be so sure?” Wei Wuxian asks playfully. “You know, the whole world thinks I have a harem of dead brides up here. I’m truly insatiable, Wen Ning.”

“I already know you’re not who people say you are.”

Wei Wuxian gives a satisfied hum. “Neither are you.”

“Maybe…maybe you’ll still have a chance,” Wen Ning says.

Wei Wuxian lets out a surprised laugh. “A chance for what? Someone to kiss this old man? I think you’d have a better chance.”

Wen Ning pulls away from Wei Wuxian. “Me? Why?”

“Look at yourself! You’re beautiful!”

It takes Wen Ning several moments to process that, as his dead heart tries to race and his bloodless veins try to rush heat into his face. “Nobody would kiss me.” He curls back into Wei Wuxian’s shoulder before he can catch a glimpse of the expression on his face. “I’m dead.” I’m something that would crawl out of the earth and scare people to death.

“You don’t act like it.” Wei Wuxian stretches out and relaxes, as if this conversation is not nerve-wracking at all. “You’re very alive. In fact, you’ll live longer than me.”

That hits Wen Ning like a blow to the stomach, squeezing out air he doesn’t even need.

He will outlive Wei Wuxian. Outlive Uncle, Jiejie, A-Yuan—

What will he do when he no longer has them?

He tries to set the thought aside. There’s no use mourning what has not passed.

But somehow, he had never realized this. That his death is a type of immortality.

Wei Wuxian seems to notice that what he’d said had made Wen Ning uncomfortable. “I’m not that easy to kill off, though. The Burial Mounds couldn’t kill me the first time, and they won’t do it again!” But the words ring empty.

Wen Ning knows that Wei Wuxian expects to die in the Burial Mounds.

How much time do they truly have? It’s a miracle that none of the Dafan Wen have died yet—even the soil they farm holds the dust of corpses. Perhaps none of them can be said to be truly alive anyway.

He focuses on Wei Wuxian’s heartbeat against his hand.

He wishes for the thrum to never stop, to always be able to return here and put his hand to Wei Wuxian’s heart and know for sure that he’s alive. Like the way he had checked on Jiejie after her meetings with Wen Ruohan to be sure he hadn’t harmed her.

Maybe that’s part of the reason he likes Wei Wuxian’s heartbeat so much. It’s evidence that Wei Wuxian is alive—steady, warm, alive against his palm.

Maybe some of Wei Wuxian’s heart runs on the resentful energy that has kept him standing since he was thrown into the Burial Mounds. Maybe some of the same blackness that’s in Wen Ning’s veins coils through his.

He pulls Wei Wuxian closer. “I will sooner die a second time than let you outlive me,” he says into the groove of Wei Wuxian’s neck. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”

Wei Wuxian cups Wen Ning’s face to look him in the eyes, his gaze warm but steely. “You’ve done so much for me already.”

Unsure of what to say, Wen Ning lets Wei Wuxian hold his chin in his hand.

Wei Wuxian’s lips curve into the faintest smile. “It’s my turn to protect you now.”

“Gongzi…I would still…still do anything to—"

“I know you would.” Wei Wuxian sighs. He tucks a strand of Wen Ning’s hair behind his ear. “I’m sorry. You have blood on your hands because of me.”

Chenqing’s breathy melody rises unbidden in Wen Ning’s mind, snakes between him and Wei Wuxian, as if the night breeze is playing the dizi to remind them of its presence. Wen Ning knows it lies secure in Wei Wuxian’s belt. Chenqing never leaves Wei Wuxian’s side.

Wen Ning has killed with Chenqing’s melody in his ear. Killed with his bare hands. Killed with rage summoned by beautiful songs of revenge.

He was never supposed to kill. Only heal.

But Wen Ning is an angry person. He has been angry since he was a child, since his father died, since his spirit was snatched and distorted, since he was abused by his clansmen, since his family was persecuted. He had buried all that anger under layers of timidity, where it was meant to never be disturbed.

But for Wei Wuxian, Wen Ning can be angry.

He can save his rage for when Wei Wuxian calls for it to be released, let him channel it and shape it into vengeance for his family, into a way for the people he loves to live a few more days.

He trusts Wei Wuxian with his anger, in a way he has never trusted himself.

“It’s true that I have blood on my hands,” Wen Ning says, “but it was for you and my family. Could we have escaped the Jin camp another way?”

Wei Wuxian doesn’t reply. Wen Ning looks down at the fold of Wei Wuxian’s loose collar where his hand is still settled beneath the fabric, where he feels the barely perceptible rise and fall of Wei Wuxian’s breath.

“I don’t want that blood on my family’s hands,” Wen Ning continues. “They were lucky enough not to fight in the war. They shouldn’t have to kill now that the war is over. I…I was able to take that burden for them.”

For once, I was able to carry a burden rather than become a burden. Please don’t take that away from me now.

Wei Wuxian is silent for several moments. Finally, all he says is, “How much do you remember from that night?”

Wen Ning thinks, tries to recall his resurrection like he has so many times, but like always, the images slip through his fingers like every dulled sensation he can no longer feel.

“I just remember it being dark. And that I was angry.”

Wei Wuxian just nods at him, then turns his face back up toward the sky. “Wen Ning…What else do you want, but can’t have?”

“You’re supposed to tell me that for yourself.”

“I want to hear more about you first.”

“I don’t want to outlive you,” comes out of Wen Ning’s mouth before he can think about it. Something about his tone, the way his voice shakes, makes him vaguely sure this is the closest he’s ever come to confessing.

Wei Wuxian’s breath becomes shallower. He looks at Wen Ning once more, a gaze that travels down Wen Ning’s spine, tingling. Sorrow flashes in Wei Wuxian’s eyes before they brighten as he smirks.

“Do you really have so little faith in me?” he jokes. “Didn’t I just say I’m not that easy to get rid of? You’re stuck with me forever! Besides, if I don’t terrorize the world long enough to buy A-Yuan everything he wants, how powerful am I really?”

Wen Ning can’t tell if Wei Wuxian’s bantering is genuine or if he’s just trying to lighten the mood, but either way, it lifts his spirits.

He gives a small smile. “You’re right.”

“Of course I am!” Wei Wuxian says, feigning indignance. “I’m not going to give up on everybody just like that. Uncle Four and I have so many wines left to taste. How can I let him down? And what about your jiejie? It’ll take me at least ten lives to convince her that my crop choices are better than hers, and I won’t back down until I’ve won that debate.”

Wen Ning laughs.

“And as for you…” Wei Wuxian pokes Wen Ning in the center of his chest. “Well, I have to complain to eternity about you doubting my power, so there’s that. I also have to make sure you learn to sew, and that you sew a hundred presents for me.”

”That’s a lot.”

“That’s the point.”

“Don’t worry, I can do it.”

Wei Wuxian nods, trying to look so serious that he looks a bit silly. “I’ll be waiting. And also…” His smirk returns. “I need to make sure you get your first kiss.”

Wen Ning feels a little tug inside his chest. “Why—Why me? What about you?”

“Hm. Good point.” Wei Wuxian looks away, as if thinking, then says, “We can just worry about each other’s first kiss. Then everything is accounted for.”

“That…that works. Although…” Wen Ning trails off. Then it hits him that Wei Wuxian means he hasn't kissed anyone either. Wen Ning supposes it makes sense, but it still surprises him.

“What is it?” Wei Wuxian asks.

“You’d give me that responsibility? To make sure that someday you…get your…” Wen Ning stops once more, too embarrassed to continue.

“Gladly.”

Wen Ning should be happy at this answer, at the warmth and certainty in Wei Wuxian’s voice, but instead he feels a pang of disappointment. How is he supposed to feel about this? It’s like he is entrusted to carry one end of a precious ribbon over a great distance, a ribbon he would wear with pride, but in the end he must tie it around someone else’s wrist.

“Too much responsibility?” Wei Wuxian asks playfully. He cocks an eyebrow. “Do you really think it’ll be so hard for me to get a kiss?”

“N-No, not at all,” Wen Ning answers, a bit too quickly.

Wei Wuxian just looks at him for a moment. “There’s actually an easy solution here. Then you won’t have to worry about helping out this hopeless case with romance,” he says, pointing at himself.

Something flutters inside Wen Ning. “What is it?”

“We could…ah…we could just do it now.”

The fluttering inside Wen Ning suddenly feels more like a bird trying to take flight.

Wen Ning wants to ask what Wei Wuxian means, because surely it isn’t what it sounds like. Wants to hear the truth so he can cut off his budding imagination, but he can barely form words.

It’s difficult to tell in the moonlight, but Wen Ning thinks he sees a faint pinkness spread across Wei Wuxian’s cheeks. Wei Wuxian’s chest is hot, his heart thrumming under Wen Ning’s fingers.

“N-Now?” is all Wen Ning can manage to say.

“Only if you want to,” Wei Wuxian rushes to say. He laughs nervously.

Wen Ning knows his own feelings. Knows that if Wei Wuxian has summoned him, he can’t say no—not with mind, not with body. But as for Wei Wuxian's feelings...

“Do you want to?” Wen Ning asks.

He expects the question to change something in Wei Wuxian’s expression, but whatever Wei Wuxian truly thinks remains trapped behind his eyes.

“I think it would be nice,” is all he says, his voice soft and fond.

Wen Ning’s stagnant nerves feel almost as alive as when resentful energy is coursing through him.

“I—I…Okay.”

Wei Wuxian swallows. Wen Ning can’t stop his gaze from following Wei Wuxian’s throat, until he’s looking down at where Wei Wuxian’s upper chest is exposed and his hand disappears under red zhongyi. Wei Wuxian’s heart is beating hard enough for both of them.

I’m lonely, it whispers. I’m so lonely…

He sees Wei Wuxian’s throat moving and only then registers that he’s speaking. “It’s alright. Relax…” Wei Wuxian murmurs. Cups the side of Wen Ning’s face. “Can you close your eyes for me?”

Wen Ning’s view of Wei Wuxian blurs as he closes his eyes, until he’s left with only the impression of the heat and solidness of Wei Wuxian’s body pressed against his. He has a distant thought to count Wei Wuxian’s heartbeats as he waits, but finds himself unable to count. He waits longer, the impossibility of their situation rooting deeper and deeper in his thoughts until he wonders if Wei Wuxian has changed his mind.

Then a quivering warmth against his lips.

Wen Ning can only just sense the way their lips glide softly against each other, but he could be content with that forever.

As if Wei Wuxian has suddenly realized something, his hand trails down Wen Ning’s neck and finds the collar of his robes, gripping it. They kiss harder, more passionately. This, Wen Ning can truly feel.

Wei Wuxian has gripped his collar before. Once in Lotus Pier as it was burning, once in Yiling when Wen Ning brought him there to hide. Both had been expressions of distrust.

Is this an expression of trust instead?

Other than Wei Wuxian himself, perhaps what Wen Ning has wanted most is his trust.

Now he has both.

By his side, in his arms.

Pressed to his lips...

* * *

With Wei Wuxian asleep and curled into his shoulder, Wen Ning looks up at the stars. From this spot, he can see the moon through the trees. It’s a bright half-moon. Not round enough to be full, not whittled enough to be a smiling sliver. Just a white circle cut clean in half.

Overcome by the closest he can come to drowsiness, Wen Ning’s mind wanders, past memories with Wei Wuxian blending into teenage fantasies blending into the moment they kissed.

Wei Wuxian has never been someone who hesitates.

Did he hesitate before kissing Wen Ning?

Did he ask Wen Ning to close his eyes so he wouldn’t see the moments of indecision in his face before he leaned in?

It reminds Wen Ning of the way he will never know what Wei Wuxian looked like before he put his lips to Chenqing, the way he will never know what Wei Wuxian thought before bringing him back into the world.

The time waiting for Wei Wuxian’s lips to meet his had felt like ages, but maybe it was only a second. Maybe, even for Wen Ning, he has never hesitated.

But maybe it doesn’t matter. Everything Wei Wuxian begins, he throws himself into whole-heartedly. If he had hesitated, Wen Ning had not felt it, had not seen it.

“We can do this again,” Wei Wuxian had said. “As long as you want to…”

Wen Ning tries to find constellations in the stars scattered across the dark cobalt sky. Trees cover parts of the constellations, their branches swaying gently in the night breeze but never parting enough to reveal everything. Wen Ning connects what dots of light remain, forming new constellations in his mind.

He counts Wei Wuxian’s sleeping heartbeats.

* * *

“I’m ready.”

The blood pool is to his back, and Wei Wuxian stands in front of him, eyes reflecting specks of amber light from candles stationed around the Demon Subdue Palace, their arrangement perhaps the only semblance of organization in the cave.

But despite the copious amounts of candles, something about this cave sucks away their orange glow. Like the darkness stretches out fingers to dampen the string of lights like dampening the vibrations of a guqin cord. Wen Ning isn’t sure where all the light goes. Maybe into the blood pool. Maybe into Wei Wuxian’s demonic cultivation devices.

Today Wei Wuxian seems bright enough to make up for the cave’s hungry darkness. There’s a levity in the way he shuffles through the talismans in his hands. A spring in his steps as he paces around Wen Ning to place talismans on him, his steps bouncy despite how his joints must creak with stiffness.

It’s so much like Wei Wuxian. Always at his happiest when about to help someone.

Wen Ning tries to soak in the feeling of Wei Wuxian’s nimble fingers pressing the talismans onto his robes, but it’s a quick, light sensation. Just when he thinks he's starting to feel it more fully, Wei Wuxian finishes, drumming his fingers along Wen Ning’s shoulder as he slips around to stand in front of him again.

“I’m just about ready, too,” Wei Wuxian says.

He strokes his chin, looking Wen Ning up and down approvingly. Wen Ning knows it’s merely for the placement of the talismans, but his helpless mind imagines that the approval is of him, of his cracked skin and deadweight body. The fondness in Wei Wuxian’s eyes reminds him of that night in the forest, and his body tries to shiver, clinging to a reflex that barely responds.

“Now, the last addition.” Wei Wuxian flits away and returns as quickly as he left, holding out a stone tablet with red fulu writing, perhaps the same tablet that started this entire project. “Press this against your chest. Try to align its pulse with where your heart is.”

Wen Ning can easily find the exact location of his heart without a pulse to guide him—if he couldn’t do that by now, Jiejie would surely make him copy every medical text all over again. But with his dull hands, finding the exact source of the pulse of resentful energy in the tablet is another matter. He can sense something, but not where it comes from.

He takes his best guess, and holds the center of the tablet over his heart. Wei Wuxian seems to notice his unsureness, and checks the position of the tablet, the dance of his fingers on Wen Ning’s hand and robes like a fleeting breath.

“This should be enough,” Wei Wuxian says. “The problem before was that just conducting resentful energy through the tablet wasn’t holistic enough…the spiritual energy in these talismans, and the energy from xue in the blood pool behind you, should help to mimic a living heart more closely.”

Wen Ning nods. Guilt still nips at him, telling him not to let Wei Wuxian continue his experiments. But life with Wei Wuxian is nothing if not continual surrender.

Wei Wuxian brings Chenqing to his lips and begins to play. There’s a brief flash of red in his eyes before he closes them. Tendrils of resentful energy snake around him, like a black spiderweb being spun in the air. The dark wisps begin to reach for Wen Ning.

Chenqing’s song is constantly changing, but held together by a steady rhythm. The melody brushes against Wen Ning, shaping him, like water eroding rocks. On the back of his neck, he feels thick, warm energy from the blood pool, muggy and oppressive on his skin.

The red lettering on the talismans begins to glow. The tablet pulses harder against his chest, reaching inside him, tugging him taut from the center like pulling a needle through a stitch.

Pressure claws at his throat, a phantom sensation of choking. He closes his eyes and gasps for air he doesn’t need.

Every time Wei Wuxian experiments on him, he wonders if it’s anything similar to what it felt like to be resurrected by him. If the fear and strangely blissful pain throttling through his nerves is what he woke up to. It’s a thought he returns to over and over, like a ritual for something sacred.

The dizi song fades, and Wen Ning notices that he has been making low growling noises in the back of his throat. The last sound escapes him, resonant with almost a pleading tone, and he opens his eyes.

The red glow in Wei Wuxian’s eyes hasn’t quite faded. His fingers are still positioned over Chenqing. “Feel anything?”

Wen Ning takes a moment to shake himself out of his daze, then removes the tablet and presses his hand against his heart.

Nothing.

He feels the groove of his neck, slides his hand under his robes and feels his bare chest, touches his neck again.

He considers lying and saying that he does feel a pulse, but Wei Wuxian slips a hand under his robes and steals his voice out of his mouth. Wei Wuxian remains completely still, his brow knit. Then his eyes light up.

“It worked! I feel it!” He grabs Wen Ning’s hand and guides it to where his own had just lay. “Here, feel, it’s right here. It worked!”

Wen Ning thinks he can feel a faint fluttering under his fingers. He can’t tell if the pulse is weak or his own sense of touch is too dull to capture it, but what matters is it’s there—a sliver of life inside him, another resurrection at Wei Wuxian’s fingertips.

“Wei-gongzi, thank—”

Wei Wuxian shushes him and wraps his arms around him, pressing his ear to Wen Ning’s chest. If his were a true living heart, Wen Ning is sure his heartbeat would turn into something more like firecrackers. He considers resting his hands on Wei Wuxian’s shoulders, but that might seem like he’s trying to push Wei Wuxian away, so he hangs his arms limply at his sides, wondering how he should even react.

“Sounds nice,” Wei Wuxian says. “Strong and steady yet mellow. Quite fitting.”

“Th-thank you.”

“Told you I could do it!” Wei Wuxian pulls away and pats his chest, then holds his hand there, grinning. “I’m not sure how long it’ll last. Maybe only a few hours or a few days, and I’ll have to restart it, but that’s not bad! Your, ah…” His smile doesn’t disappear, but it fades a bit, tightening. “The way you died…that stake…it damaged your organs. So you might need a little more help to keep your heart running.”

Something inside Wen Ning lurches at the mention of his death. If the agony of dying with a Spirit-Attraction Flag pierced through his chest was what allowed him to be with Wei Wuxian again, to finally have the strength to protect his family and live with them for a few more months, then the nausea brought forth by the memory is worth it. It was all worth it.

“That’s okay,” Wen Ning says. “You don’t need to restart it another time. Just this once is enough.”

Wei Wuxian shakes his head at him. Then he knits his brow, as if a thought just arrested him. “You can’t feel it though?”

“I can.”

“But how much?”

“Enough.”

Wei Wuxian steps back and crosses his arms, Chenqing’s red tassel swinging slightly, as if waving at Wen Ning. He cocks an eyebrow. “Then we’ll just have to get your heart rate up.”

Wen Ning is not sure if he likes that idea, but it sounds reasonable. He thinks of the way his heart raced when training with his clan, when attempting an archery shot while others were watching, when building his arm strength like Jiejie told him to so he wouldn’t be bullied as easily. He doesn’t quite miss those moments, but he does miss being able to feel them fully.

“Okay,” Wen Ning says, and drops to the ground to do a rapid set of push-ups.

“Not like that!” Wei Wuxian says through a surprised laugh.

Wen Ning stops at the top of a push-up and looks up. “What should I do instead?”

“Stand up.” Wei Wuxian waves lazily, gesturing for him to stand, so Wen Ning rises to his feet. Wei Wuxian combs Wen Ning’s hair with his fingers, putting it back into place. “Physical exertion is too easy for you now, that’s not going to work.”

Wen Ning lets out a tiny “Oh.” The entire situation is beginning to feel much too embarrassing, like the first few times Wei Wuxian had insisted on experimenting on him.

“Resentful energy is much more responsive to emotions than it is to the movement of your body,” Wei Wuxian explains.

A black wisp rises from Chenqing. Wei Wuxian holds a finger over the dizi, and the nebulous tendril of resentful energy snakes around his finger, as if caressing him. He twirls his finger in the air, stroking the black coil, and shoots a satisfied glance at Wen Ning.

Wen Ning finds himself oddly…affected by the sight. A warm, hungry buzz grows inside him, more imagination than any real bodily response, but stimulating all the same. The knowledge that what runs through his veins is resentful energy, the same energy as that black sliver coiled around Wei Wuxian’s finger, does nothing to calm him.

“What…what emotion do I need to feel?��

Wei Wuxian smiles. To Wen Ning’s surprise, the smile is gentle and caring, perhaps even rueful, rather than sharp with mischief. The smile he gives before he is about to reshape Wen Ning.

“Just hold still,” Wei Wuxian says.

He cups Wen Ning’s chin. The resentful energy in his hand disperses and swirls around them, framing their faces.

Wei Wuxian leans in and kisses him. Wen Ning’s heart leaps up through his chest.

Their lips glide against each other for longer than he had expected. The warm buzz inside him spreads to his fingertips when Wei Wuxian’s tongue enters his mouth for the briefest moment, then buzzes stronger when he longs to feel it again.

Wei Wuxian pulls away. He lets go of Wen Ning’s chin, resting his hand on his shoulder instead. “Did it work?”

Wen Ning’s pulse is practically thrumming in his ears by now. He’s grateful that he doesn’t have real blood, because his face would be flushed.

“It worked,” Wen Ning manages to stammer out.

“Xian-gege!” A small voice calls from outside the cave.

Wei Wuxian widens his eyes and exchanges glances with Wen Ning, his face reddening. Stifling a laugh, he folds his hands behind his back and takes a step away from Wen Ning. “Who’s there?”

A-Yuan comes tottering inside, moving a bit too fast and making Wen Ning tense his muscles in preparation to stop him from falling over. He latches onto Wei Wuxian’s leg and looks up at him with round eyes.

“Do you have official business for me?” Wei Wuxian asks.

“Qing-jiejie says one of the special lanterns went out.”

Wei Wuxian had created red lanterns to light the paths of their settlement and also divert hungry spirits from entering their homes, drawing them like moths to a flame to be discarded every morning. The only problem is that one of them is inconveniently placed and falls over quite often.

Wei Wuxian tilts his head. “And who knocked it over this time?”

A-Yuan looks away. “Qing-jiejie says it’s a secret.”

“I can’t fix the lantern if I don’t know who knocked it over,” he lies. “It might be important.”

Looking a bit distressed, A-Yuan taps his fingers together, then breaks into a grin.

“Was it Qing-jiejie?” Wei Wuxian asks.

A-Yuan giggles and runs over to Wen Ning, hugging his leg instead.

Wei Wuxian crosses his arms and clicks his tongue. He looks over at Wen Ning. “I can’t believe your jiejie has been destroying my work. We’re really going to have to scold her for this one.”

Feeling a bit sorry for the teasing his sister is about to endure, Wen Ning picks up A-Yuan and sits the boy on his shoulders. They head out of the cave and toward the troublesome pathway.

“You know,” Wei Wuxian says, “physical exertion could still help you feel your pulse, if you do enough.”

“Like what?”

“Mm…maybe running?”

Wen Ning considers it for a moment. “I think you just don’t want me to be around to side with my jiejie.”

Wei Wuxian shoots him a look of mock offense. “Wen Qionglin! How could you accuse me of such ulterior motives?”

“I would never accuse you,” Wen Ning says sincerely, in case Wei Wuxian actually did take his words to heart.

Wei Wuxian shakes his head and waves a hand. “Well, go on. Try it out.”

Wen Ning nods. He tilts his head to speak up to where A-Yuan sits on his shoulders. “A-Yuan, do you want to go for a ride?”

“Yes!”

“Ning-gege gives the best rides, doesn’t he?” Wei Wuxian claps him on the shoulder.

Wen Ning feels A-Yuan drumming on the top of his head, which he assumes means a “yes.” He carefully lowers A-Yuan from his shoulders for a piggy-back ride. Just as he’s about to set off, Wei Wuxian takes his wrist.

“Come back to the cave after. I still have a few tricks I want to try.” Wei Wuxian shows a sliver of a smile, like there’s a joke in his words.

Wen Ning wonders if this is already one of the tricks, as his heart rate climbs up once more. “Okay.”

Wei Wuxian breaks into a full smile, then whirls around and strides down the path toward the lantern. “Wen Qing! What did you do? You no longer have authority to order me to buy turnip seeds if you act like this!”

Wen Ning can faintly hear Jiejie snap back in response, her tone sharper than her typical sternness. She sounds more intimidating when she's embarrassed.

Fondness swells inside Wen Ning. For Wei Wuxian and Jiejie, for A-Yuan with his tiny hands on his shoulders.

Theirs is a life on stolen time, counted in heartbeats.

But together, they can make it last.

* * *

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[breadboylovin]

NEW POST FOR MY 95060 PLAYLIST!!! complete with explanations of every song choice under the cut because i love explaining my own creative decisions for some reason (PLEASE DO NOT FEEL COMPELLED TO READ ALL OF IT IF YOU DONT WANT TO ITS VERY LONG LOL). i may add a few songs here and there later on, or more likely rearrange what i've already put in slightly, but for now i consider it done.

alright now heres a look into my twisted mind

PART 1: TEMPTATION

Franz Ferdinand - Michael: It's a song about seducing someone named Michael. What more can I ask for (serious explanation is that it’s also very homosexually charged like you just have to listen to it… also feels taunting in a way where it’s like ‘oooooh you want me so bad’ and he’s RIGHT Michael DOES want him so bad). Also credit to this post for letting me know this song existed and inspiring me to make this playlist in the first place :-3

Mystery Skulls - Paralyzed: Just another song about how Michael is awestruck by David and feels compelled to follow him for whatever reason (the reason is that he wants him so bad)

TAEMIN - WANT: This is one of three Taemin songs on here because I think if David survived until present day he would fucking LOVE Taemin. Anyways this is a song about knowing you’re hot shit and everyone wants you and I think after seducing Michael through fucking?? Fatal motorcycle races and evil noodle mind tricks??? David deserves to feel that

Glass Animals - Gooey: OHGHGHGHFH THIS SONG… the vibes are impeccable on this one, Dave Bayley’s alluring voice feels like a slight remix of what David is going for and the way it feels like the singer is trying to convince the listener of something (even though it’s purposely vague) just FEELS like David with Michael. The line “I can’t take this place, I can’t take this place/I just need to go where I can get some space” especially fits when imagining how Michael is new to Santa Carla and may want a place to belong that David and the boys are happy to provide

TAEMIN - Impressionable: I see this as the moment that Michael downs the bottle of “wine”, where this song is David’s internal monologue reveling in how easy it was to charm Michael and get him to join. I always thought this sounded like a taunting villain song so it just fits. Also it’s like ridiculously horny which is a plus

PART 2: THE RELATIONSHIP ITSELF

MGMT - Me and Michael: In my head this is directly after Michael drinks the “wine”, and if it were an actual song in the movie, it’d play instead of Cry Little Sister in that scene. I already made art related to this but I really just love the juxtaposition between something that Michael will later see as horrible (becoming a half-vampire) and David seeing it as a perfect slow-dance moment. Also “Me and Michael, it’s not a question now” because the blood drinking has now linked them together… mmmmm. Credit to this post again for making me find this song!!

ALI - DESPERADO: This one is less about David and Michael specifically and more about how the night in the cave went down for everyone there, starting with a soft slowness as they ate and then descending into chaos as Michael downs the wine and they celebrate a new addition to the pack. The bacchanal energy is off the charts

Dorian Electra - Man to Man: This song is just one that I attribute to all of the boys because I think they do a lot of homoerotic sparring. Also the part of the movie where Michael punches David in the face and David just goes >:-3 back at him

Chase Atlantic - Friends: I don't know what it is about this one but it just Hits… The chorus kinda sounds like David and the boys trying to convince Michael to stay with them instead of coming back to human society after drinking the blood, in the same sort of taunting manner that they had when David (presumably?) made Michael hallucinate the bike lights and sounds outside of his house

Taking Back Sunday - You're So Last Summer: THIS SONG IS JUST REALLY GOOD. I don't know what it is about this one either… I guess the “Maybe I should hate you for this/Never really did ever quite get that far” part could represent the first glimpse of Michael’s more conflicted feelings about David. Also the second half of verse 2 not only fucks so hard but could also be indicative of Michael’s repressed gay feelings, lying to himself about how he wanted to be around David because he’s cool or whatever but he actually just has the hots for him and would let him do anything if he asked to

MGMT - Little Dark Age: Mostly here just for vibes. Have y’all seen that one edit set to this song? Yeah

The Neighborhood - Prey: I feel like this song captures the general unease that Michael feels right before he sees the boys kill for the first time, knowing that he’s probably turning into a vampire and something horrible is happening… especially with “Something is wrong, I feel like prey” just generally describing what it must feel like to be a human among vampires (though he’s not fully human anymore at this point)

PART 3: REALIZATION + FIGHTING BACK

TAEMIN - Criminal: YET ANOTHER TAEMIN SONG!!!! It’s all about realizing you're with someone who’s like, an evil manipulative villain and genuinely bad for you but you can’t escape just yet because you’re kinda into it. I don't think David is THAT bad of a guy, but Michael could be like “I need to get out of this situation because this man is a vampire but I feel attracted to him and it’s hard to really get away”. Also the line “My hands holding yours that stabbed me are not clean either” just HITS cus Michael hates David’s vampirism but HE’S a half-vampire now so it’s not like he’s innocent either. This is just a really good 95060 song AND a good song in general, listen to it even if you don't normally like K-pop cus it slaps

Glass Animals - Wyrd: This would be the moment where Michael snaps out of it and just starts running away, but to no avail, because he’s still a half-vampire (“You can’t run so you must hide” meaning that he can’t outrun his new monstrous nature, the best he can do is hide it until it eats him alive). Meanwhile David laments over how this is a stupid decision from his perspective (“So, my friend, our time is done/You and I could’ve had so much”)

Moonface - Minotaur Forgiving Theseus: This is a very veeeeery bitter song from Michael’s perspective about David being a vampire… with the “You’re just a hitman” repetition referencing how David. Y’know. Eats people. And the “I heard you're coming for me now” references both how David first approached him and the impending confrontation

The Neighborhood - The Beach: This song goes from the bitterness of the previous one to a pseudo-acceptance of the end of their brief friendship and what’s inevitably going to happen next. However, I think the bridge of the song illustrates the little bit of Michael that doesn’t want this to happen, that wants this relationship to somehow work out because he cares about David even if he is a vampire (unfortunately he ends up repressing this because he feels a duty to kill David now)

Gorillaz - Rhinestone Eyes: This is mostly in here because of the music video, the buildup to a battle just echoes in my head whenever I hear this song now. In the context of this playlist it makes me imagine David looking up at the Emerson’s house from the hotel (and Michael doing the opposite) knowing that something’s about to happen and it’s going to be horrible

Glass Animals - JDNT: This entire song feels like the climax of the movie. Verse 1 feels like the Emersons and Frogs getting ready to attack the cave (“I’m all armored up”) with “I feel that final poke” being when Marko gets staked, and the chorus right after is a tinge of regret that Michael feels once the plan starts to take shape. Verse 2 is the other boys waking up to see that Marko is dead + them dying themselves (“Where my funny friends gone?”) and the bridge is Michael and David’s fight before Michael finally gores David on the antlers. The outro of “You can’t breathe without me” VERY much feels like David taunting Michael from beyond the grave, knowing how much Michael loved him and how horrible what he’s just done is

PART 4: GRIEF

The Brazen Youth - Burn Slowly/I Love You: Ooooooghghgh the conflicted feelings about their relationship is STRONG in this one… The “Burn Slowly” part being him trying to convince himself that he did the right thing by killing David while the “I Love You” part is him realizing that he really did love David and it fucking hurts

Sufjan Stevens - The Predatory Wasp Of The Palisades Is Out To Get Us: MAN. MAN… Everything past “I can’t explain the state that I'm in” is just so… it’s Michael realizing what he had even more and just how much it hurts that he’s lost it. He knows he was in love now and it fucking hurts SO MUCH!!!!!

Sufjan Stevens - The Only Thing: [head in my fucking hands] Michael moping around Santa Carla because it feels empty without David. All the “should I tear my eyes out now?/Should I tear my heart out now?” parts oh my GOOOOOOOOD sufjan stevens i'm going to slap you on the head.

Paramore - Tell Me How: THIS SONG HURTS SO MUCH ITS SO. It’s another one about conflicting feelings so theoretically it should be earlier in the story but I always envision something very morbid when listening to this (and have now written a fic about it so check that out)… Michael going back to the hotel where he put David’s body and musing to no one, asking how he’s supposed to feel now, the “And always coming to your defenses” where Michael keeps defending David and their relationship to his family who all think David was a horrible monster… this song fucking hurts. Also I unintentionally drew a parallel between JDNT’s “You can’t breathe without me” and this song’s “Do I suffocate or let go?” and now that I’ve realized that it hurts even more. Fuck this song

[cauldronofmorning]

I just needed to get one more Piercintyre meta out. “How Season Three Broke Up Hawkeye and Trapper before Welcome To Korea Happened” under the cut:

Disclaimer that while I don’t know if the MASH writers knew that Wayne Rogers was officially leaving at the end of the season, this is based off the assumption that they knew where the wind was blowing. If not intentional, there’s enough connecting evidence here anyway.

In the first season, it takes them until Bananas Crackers and Nuts to have their first ten second fight, over being in surgery for too long to fill up the still. Even just a short spat upsets them because Hawkeye is the reigning champion of co-dependence (Trapper would like to pretend he’s not) and that leads to eventually exaggerating a mental health episode. They sit in each other’s laps, banter like a couple and Hawkeye makes even bigger heart eyes when Trapper can’t see him.

It starts going a little wrong at Mail Call. They’ve argued before, talked past each other and Trapper’s been worried about Hawkeye’s sanity, but after male wife adorableness where Hawkeye loves Trapper talking about his kids, Trapper starts family spiralling that BJ perfected to an art form and steadily gets more drunk/depressed about not getting to see them grow up. Hawkeye eventually finds him manically packing a bag to go AWOL (naturally he’s jokey-scared that he did something wrong because the man is already a mess) and internally falls apart when he realizes Trapper is serious. It ends up okay because laughing at Frank is a good distraction, but they don’t talk about it outside of ribbing over a hangover, and Hawkeye nervously locks the bag away.

A lot of good and a lot of foreshadowing happens in Check Up. For the good, they love each other so much. Hawkeye is delighted to make Trapper laugh at the end when he’s taking care of him like he did in Carry On Hawkeye, they do manage to talk at least a little; Hawkeye being brave and proving “I’m the only one who can handle him” in BCN as having a lot of truth to it, and Trapper wanting to stay because of Hawkeye.

But that last part is also Trapper’s problem, and what hurts Hawkeye later on (and in turn BJ). He can’t say in earshot that he wants to stay “with… with…” [joke about the camp to diffuse the tension], he can’t dance for real with Hawkeye only when it’s for a joke, he can’t actually be scared and worried for Hawk’s mental state to his face in Dr Pierce and Dr Hyde, and twice in Dear Dad and Aid Station, he reassures Hawkeye that there’s nothing to worry about and only lets the mask fall when Hawkeye is gone. Neither we or Hawkeye see the seventy two hours where Trapper and Radar try and contact him, so with all that, you can’t blame Hawkeye for having a (not the whole story) pattern of proof for thinking he wasn’t worth it.

Two episodes on, and after the homoerotic fever dream image of them riding a pony together, is Alcoholics Unanimous. Alcohol has already been the cause of some of their fights, the aforementioned Bananas, Crackers and Nuts, and the end of Iron Guts Kelly; where Hawkeye calls out Trapper for ignoring reality through booze, Trapper replies reality is up for grabs, and they both get distracted by nurses, which is really their problem summed up, but they end up going for the throat in more ways than one when alcohol gets taken away.

The first half of the episode is them being cute and co-dependent, well, alcoholics, but after the adorable boozing with Margaret and being left to their hungover, they start to feel claustrophobic with each other. It’s Hawkeye who starts being cruel first, as he often does when he’s trapped in a corner and wants to lash out (see the finale). He goads Trapper into a fight, casting himself as the girl again (borrowing Trap’s razor to shave his armpits) and digging in that Trapper is macho and boring for reading hunting and repair magazines.

Trapper eventually gets sick of him, and gives the attention Hawkeye’s been brattily aiming for. His problem is that Hawkeye’s never at a loss for words, something that Trapper has and will struggle with, and always the shot, always the needle. And after more needling, he loses his temper and gets shouty. When they’re about to throw breakable shit at each other (Hawkeye grabs Trapper’s ukelele that he’s been using to chill himself out this season) he’s the one that can stop and introspect a little that they might actually be alcoholics, while Hawkeye makes a crack about renting himself out to a firing squad if he thought that were true. Trapper either struggling or conflicted, while Hawkeye’s in denial or fine when he gets reassurance he needs, comes up a few times throughout the season.

They’re still fighting when it comes to Mulcahy’s sermon, to the joy of Margaret and Frank until it ends up with Frank getting hurt (and if you ever wanted to know who wins in a Trapper vs Hawkeye fight, it’s easily Trapper, though Hawkeye can flail his legs in interesting directions) and needing booze. Like Mail Call, Frank is a distraction both of them can use to not talk about what’s bothering them.

Next up is Adam’s Ribs. While they don’t fight in this one, it’s a much lighter version of Dr Pierce and Dr Hyde, with Hawkeye running around having a manic episode and both Trapper and Henry looking concerned in the background. They’re worried he’s losing it and they’re right; when they leave (Henry dying, Trapper having to go while Hawkeye is on R&R), a piece of Hawkeye is gone no matter how much he and BJ lean and love each other. “Trapper went home; they're still coming. Henry got killed and they're still coming. Wherever they come from... they'll never run out.”

But it’s not even just about the ribs. Hawkeye barely hides anything in this episode; the “I love her”/”it’s a him”/”I love him” without missing a beat, that he’s always been a hedonistic mess when Trapper is faintly disgusted with him, that he thinks letting a stewardess force him is an acceptable thing to just casually shrug about and definitely not being subtle about his interest in “Big John”. Like he often does when Hawkeye gets too serious, either in general or about their relationship, Trapper looks concerned when Hawkeye leaves.

Mad Dogs and Servicemen goes into mental illness again, and there’s a big contrast between Hawkeye; who while still having to administer the tough love approach that the not there Sidney advises, does that thing where you try and empathize but end up foreshadowing… I mean making it about your issues and not helping by talking about how many breakdowns he has a day, and Trapper. Trapper is both seconds away from killing Frank when he dismisses mental illness and only Hawkeye manages to calm him down, and also manages to get the soldier to open up about his trauma by letting him talk about Boston and sports. The macho less good with words-just being the rock thing that Hawkeye needles him about actually helps this time.

Trapper struggling comes up again in Bulletin Board. He knows how Henry is feeling when he talks about there’s no point distracting yourself if the war will kick you in the teeth later. He also writes a letter to his seven year old daughter (Becky), telling her a kid-friendly version of saving kids with frostbite. She’s complained that he never tells them what he gets up to and of course he can’t because how can you put your at home children through that? But it also proves he doesn’t just hide from Hawkeye, as unlike most who wrote letters to their family, he chooses the most secluded times possible, and he tells her all he can do is make the best of things before turning the record off and looking haunted.

Like Dear Dad in the first season, Aid Station has Hawkeye having to go to the front again. Klinger and Radar giggle over his dresses, Margaret doms Frank and tells him she’ll kill him if he goes out with other nurses, and it immediately goes to Hawkeye telling Trapper he should go out with other doctors. It eventually gets serious in the only way they know how: Hawkeye looking afraid of the reaction he might get, bringing up his will, and when the mood is down, making a joke about his sluttiness. When he has to go, Trapper again does his job of reassuring (like he will Radar and Henry later on) and then his face falls in worry. On the other end, by the episode’s finish, Hawkeye has a connection with Margaret that Frank and Trapper assume could only be sexual, so they get closer while both pairings drift off.

The last time they fight is Pay Day. Hawkeye is trying to have a date while also trying to not get arrested for supposedly stealing money, while Trapper is as usual losing badly on a game. Hawkeye can’t give him fifty dollars, even an appeal to their friendship doesn’t work, and so Trapper steals his watch for stakes. When Hawkeye finds out, they have a short but explosive yelling session, and in a rarity for them, they do kind of talk about it, ending the episode on Hawkeye proving to Trapper he’s bad at card games.

Then it’s Abysinnia Henry, the last time we see Trapper and Henry. Henry’s plane gets shot down before he manages to make it home, and Hawkeye and Trapper try desperately to contact each other while Hawkeye is on a bender of an r&r and before Trapper’s plane leaves Korea. Trapper can’t find the words for a note, leaves Hawkeye with a kiss, and Hawkeye never gets closure. A season of drifting and it ends like that.

[none-but-y0u]

yes i’m posting this twice. idk how to use this site correctly, and i have no shame so we move

Saw this post by @memes-saved-me​ HAD to write a fic about it because it wouldn’t leave my mind

___________________________________________________________________

Months after the fight, Billy hadn’t really made up with Steve per se. He hadn’t said those two words because in his opinion, they held no weight if there wasn’t any action behind it. But still, Hawkins was only so big, and the Party was only so small, so eventually they had to get to a point where Steve didn’t flinch at every purr of the camaro and where Billy didn’t feel like something was clawing away at the insides of him every time Steve avoided him.

So nowadays, if they ever saw each other out and about, it was more of a head nod that symbolized “I’ll leave the kids alone, if you promise you’re keeping Max safe” type of thing. And occasionally this extended to a “I’m at the quarry. You’re at the quarry. We’re not going to talk about the deep bags under your eyes or the darkening bruises on mine, but we can share this blunt and pretend we’re angsty teens, even if it’s just for a moment.”

In school, it worked similarly. Tommy was still on his weird homoerotic pulling pigtails thing where he would say comments about dethroning King Steve, but would also always seem to have his eyes on him everywhere he went.

And Billy knew all about homoerotic pulling pigtails. Had his fair share of pulling pigtails with a certain recently dethroned, brown eyed, king, and that got him nowhere except blood on his fists and a syringe in his neck. But he’d let Tommy figure that one out on his own.

Read more under the cut or on ao3 HERE

“Yo, Hargrove,” Tommy shouted across the parking lot, waving him over.

Looking up, Billy took count of who was around - a bunch of preppies he definitely didn’t have time for today - and shook his head before pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. He could quietly hear Tommy mutter a “this fucker” before walking over to Billy.

“Dude, you didn’t hear me calling you?”

“What is it, Hagan?” he muttered, not even sparing him a look.

Tommy leaned back against the camaro, attempting to look cool and nonchalant, but quickly moved upon seeing Billy’s glare. He opted for crossing his arms and plastering a glare on his face. “You seen Harrington?” he asked, squinting towards the emptying school building.

“Why the fuck would I have seen him?” Billy huffed, blowing out a stream of smoke.

“I dunno. I see you guys sometimes in the halls or in the cafeteria, so I just thought that you and he were-”

“We were what?” Billy glares, cutting him off. Tommy has the good sense to take a step back.

“Nothing, man. I just thought you were friends or something.”

Billy scoffs, rolling his eyes. “So ‘cause I don’t pull Harrington’s pigtails like you do, that means we’re friends?”

“Pigtails- I don’t! I’m with Carol!” Tommy stutters out, his freckles standing out more as his face goes red.

Billy gives him a pointed look before taking another drag.

“You used to do it too. Before you got all soft for him,” Tommy mumbles after a moment.

And Billy doesn’t have time to deal with Tommy and his unrequited, unrealized feelings for his ex best friend. Took him long enough to figure it out himself, and he doesn’t feel like going down that road again. “Fuck you want, Hagan.” He says, a slight growl in his throat.

“Nothing, man. I just didn’t know if you saw him. That’s all. He wasn’t in class today, and you know how everyone is with him now that he’s...you know,” Tommy trails off.

“Ain’t that your doing?”

Tommy flushes again, rubbing the back of his head. “Mm, Yeah, I guess.” He goes silent a moment before. “Hey, me and Carol are going to the Mart after this if you wanna’ come.”

“Hard pass,” Billy chortles, throwing his cigarette to the ground. Moving past Tommy, he walks to the driver’s side.

“Yeah, course,” Tommy says. His face is downturned, and Billy can see the slight bit of hurt staining Tommy’s face. Closing his eyes, he sighs to himself. Knows he has to correct this because Tommy’s doesn’t mean any actual harm. Just wants to know if his ex-best friend is okay.

“Have to drive my sister around, that’s all,” he gets out. Tommy’s face lights up at that just as the familiar dash of red works its way through the crowd.

“Yeah, alright. Catch you tomorrow then.”

He starts to walk away, and Billy curses at himself for being weak enough to ask. “If you hear from Harrington before Monday..."

Tommy turns, grinning with a knowing look. “I’ll let you know.”

Max finally gets to the car, skateboard in hand, dirt smudged across her forehead, and a cut on her cheek.

“You’re late, shitbird. Didn’t I tell you 4:00? Not 4:20.” Billy mutters, getting into the car.

“You can take me to the arcade,” she says, ignoring him.

“What happened to your face?”

She pulls down the visor, examining her face. “Nothing.”

“Maxine.”

“Don’t call me that, William ."

“What happened to your face?” And then, when she still hasn’t said anything minutes later, he adds, softer. “I don’t want Neil to think..." And she knows what he means. Goes real quiet, picking at a scab on her arm before.

“Nothing. Just a couple of boys. But I handled them. I’m fine, really.”

He takes his eyes off the road, looking her over for any other bruises, before nodding. “There’s some bandaids and stuff in there,” he says, nodding towards the glove department.

“Billy, I’m-”

“Fine. Yeah, I know. Just clean it at least. So it doesn’t get infected.”

She gives him a look before complying. “I said I’m fine. I can handle them,” she huffs.

A small smile sneaks onto his face as he watches his sister not sister angrily clean the mark on her face. Yeah. She can definitely handle them.

___

They’re driving home after the arcade, something heavy blasting through the radio, when the light turns red, and he comes to a stop. Looking out the window, he notices Tommy’s car at the Mart. After a moment, its owner walks out from the store. Following someone. Always following someone. And then the person turns, and Billy’s heart momentarily stops before filling with anger.

Steve’s leading Tommy and Carol, but his face is all different shades of blue and purple with an accent of red dancing over his lips. He says something to Tommy, arms flailing, as he tries to walk off. Reaching out, Tommy grabs his arm, pushing him towards the hood of his car. After a moment, Steve listens, sitting down and placing his head in his hands.

And the whole scene reminds him of before, except this time, Billy’s knuckles aren’t covered in red. There’s a rage boiling in his gut. “You know who did that to him?” he manages to get out.

Max follows his eye line before nodding. “Dustin said some guy called Sean jumped him or something.”

“Sean as in Stephens?” he asks, fingers crushing the cigarette in his hand.

She turns to him, a worried look on her face. “What are you going to do?”

Billy sneaks another look at Steve, and the anger festers within him. The light turns green, and he curls his fingers around the wheel. “I’m gonna make sure he doesn’t touch Steve ever again.”

___

Steve’s signature BMW is already at the quarry, by the time Billy pulls up the next day. He leans on the hood, staring up at the sky. Billy checks himself in the mirror before making his way over to him.

“You got bruises on your hands today,” Steve says with a nod.

“You got bruises on your face,” Billy shrugs.

Steve chuckles, “Yeah, I guess.” His eyes sweep over Billy’s body before settling on his face. His tongue darts out over his lips, and Billy has a strong desire to chase after it. Wants to feel Harrington’s blood on his own lips.

He looks away. “What, man?”

“Nothing. Not used to seeing you without them.” Another lookover. “You got freckles, you know that?”

It’s only then that Billy really understands the whole King Steve thing. Completely gets why no matter how much Tommy claims to hate him, he can’t keep his eyes off of him. There’s just something about the way Steve looks at you like he’s scavenging your body for its deepest secrets because he genuinely wants to know everything about you. Like he actually cares about you.

“Yeah, well, I’m not used to seeing you with them,” he stutters out.

“I think I look kinda badass.”

Billy scoffs because of course some sick part of him finds a roughed up Steve who’s still got that loveable charm incredibly attractive, and the thought bubbles in his gut uncomfortably.

“What? You don’t like it? Don’t think I look pretty enough?” He takes a step closer, encroaching on Billy’s space with that dangerous smirk on his lips. Billy feels all sense leave him, suddenly feeling like all those girls who probably stay up all night thinking about their one moment with King Steve. And what’s happening right now. This moment right here. This is most definitely his moment.

Steve takes another step, eyes sweeping over Billy again. He goes to curl his lower lip into his mouth when-

“Ah fuck!” There’s a trail of flesh blood staining his lips from the recently opened wound.

“This is like the tenth time today. It’s never gonna’ heal at this point,” he groans. “I hate this so much.”

Shaking his head, Billy goes to his car, grabbing the first aid kit.

“Come here,” he says curling his hand around Steve’s wrist. Steve makes a small oomph sound at the sudden movement, but complies nonetheless.

Pulling out an alcohol swab, he goes to press it to Steve’s lip, but Steve stops him. “That’s gonna sting.”

“Don’t be a baby.”

“I’m not,” he huffs. “I just- ah shit !” He glares as Billy runs the swab over the cut. “Maybe warn a guy next time.”

Billy scoffs, “There won’t be a next time.”

“Yeah, we’ll see,” Steve hums. “Everyone’s gonna wanna take a jab at their old king sooner or later.”

“Nah. I won’t let that happen.”

“What? You gonna follow me around all day being my knight in shining armor?” Steve quips with a raised brow.

And Billy so wants to say yes. Wants to say he’ll be his knight in shining armor and so much more if Steve’ll let him.

“Stop talking before you bust your lip open again.”

Steve smirks as Billy works his way through each cut and bruise. “You did a pretty shit job at this,” Billy says after a moment.

“And you’re doing too good of a job at this,” Steve counters. Billy’s hands still, and his mouth drops slightly. “Don’t worry. I’m not gonna say anything. Just think that you’re doing all this for me, and I never did this for you,” he says with a shrug. “Just seems like you’re doing a lot for me.”

And Billy would do anything for Steve if it meant he’d get to run his hands down the angle of his jaw like this, or if he got to count the moles on his face, or if he got to run his fingers over the curve of his lips like this.

“What’re you doing, Bill,” Steve exhales, breath fanning out over his lips.

Billy hesitates for a moment before...“I’m taking care of you.”

___

Steve’s back in school on Monday. And Tommy spends ten minutes talking about how Steve probably got his ass handed to him by whomever beat his face in. But when Sean Stephens walks past them, face looking ten times worse than Steve’s, Tommy changes his tune and spends the next twenty minutes praising Steve’s fighting skills.

Billy spends the day with his hands in his pockets, and a grin on his face.