#I can do the dishes | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

verathegun · 1 year ago

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Yay. We're all going to die.

#personal #I have actually found a weird peace #my problems #Seem deeply insignificant in the face of #global warming #based #erratic weather patterns #like a hurricane #Hit Socal #I can do the dishes

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caprine-bees · 26 days ago

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having a stress induced inhibitor is awful bc it's like YOU DID TOO MUCH. PUNISHMENT. I DON'T CARE HOW IMPORTANT. WRITHE.

but then when I get better I am a queen. a pretty girl. I can handle all tasks thrown at me.

#i can clean the toilet #i can do the dishes #i can move mountains #also shout out to my wife who cleaned up my barf #migraine

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myiliterallyhavenolifegoals · 5 months ago

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What I do find low key funny is that in most shows/movies, when a character goes through their Traumatic Incident™️, they're almost always very tight lipped and secretive about what happened to them.

However if you speak to Edwin Payne for more than 20 minutes, not only will he tell you that he was in Hell, he'll give you a time scale and recommendations for restaurants there. He's leaving catty reviews on TripAdvisor. He's the Edwardian equivalent of a vlogger who had a bad time at a starbucks and has to make a 40+ minute call out video. Conceptually he should be Broody and Mysterious but he's fundamentally too much of a gay little bitch to keep shit to himself.

#Not a bad thing to be clear!!#He'd rather repress his sexuality than his years of torture and honestly king I get it #dead boy detectives #dead boy detective agency #dbda #edwin payne #charles: edwin baby can you do the dishes #edwin bitchily under his breath: when I was in Hell no one made me do the dishes 🙄😒

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artkaninchenbau · 5 months ago

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People keep on asking for more Baby Robin and Papadile so here is more Baby Robin and Papadile. Now never ask anything from me ever again

#My art #One Piece #Long post #Sir Crocodile #Nico Robin #Alternatively panel 5 would've been a close up of Crocodile's face from Robin's POV where he looks like he's giving her a death glare #Not intentionally he's just a big scary bastard with a Resting Murder Face and Robin is a small traumatized child #But I wanted to focus on the silliness of the moment so you get the goofy version instead #IDK man there's just something very funny to me about the idea of Robin just randomly info-dumping about a subject she's read about #And Crocodile being like ''?????????????????????? The fuck you talking about??''#Robin leaves the ship's kitchen and Crocodile just stares at the tomato like ''...It's a fruit? Forreal?''#(Meanwhile Robin is sweating bullets like ''I called his favorite vegetable a FRUIT right in his FACE he's going to KILL ME'')#Robin grew extra feet from the bottom of her feet to reach the counter and that actually isn't me trying to explain bad art away #In the original Papadile comic there was a panel of Robin doing the dishes with extra feet to reach the sink but I cut it out #(It was a stress relief comic I did not feel like drawing a complicated background in detail) (BUT YES I THOUGHT OF IT)#Nico Robin Age 11 is *more* than capable of cooking Crocodile just does not trust her with his food. At least not yet #She did start doing the dishes unprompted and continues to do so (mostly out of fear). Croc told her she didn't have to but allows it #IDK a lot of people seem to headcanon Crocodile as incapable of cooking and like. Surely Mr ''I don't trust people'' knows how to cook #Like he doesn't have to be a master chef or anything but and maybe he enjoys not HAVING to cook (pain in the ass with one hand + knife/hook #But surely he can cook decent enough. SURELY #Botanists don't @ me I know the ''tomato is a fruit'' thing isn't fully accurate this is just a silly little haha comic

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mythalism · 3 months ago

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i just still cannot fucking believe that our home base in this game is Solas’s sad little divorced dad fade bachelor pad where he has spent 10 years alone painting on the walls and eating the thedas equivalent of stovetop ramen and we are going to get to rummage through his sock drawer. like if you had told me this in 2018 i would NEVER have believed you. we are gonna get to PSYCHOANALYZE his KITCHEN!?!?!?!?!?!

#i need him to have a magic fridge so we can look inside and then go make fun of him for only having #protein shakes #orlesian cakes #and a wilted head of broccoli #do you think he did his dishes before leaving to go tear down the veil #solas #dragon age #da:v

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bairdthereader · 1 month ago

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There's one in every friend group (and we love them).

Bonus--Confused Nick is confused:

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 4 months ago

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I've never been more normal in my life.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #jin zixuan #jiang yanli #Both LWJ and JZX are failing so miserably at the deception check in this scene.#The maneuvers are wild. I am putting them into a petri dish.#LWJ yelling at the guy he's madly infatuated with. Who is earnestly asking what's wrong and trying to bridge the gap between you.#Absolute fumble. No wonder WWX is fully convinced this guy hated him. LWJ was dropping all the wrong signs.#No really. If you have a fraught relationship with someone and they yell at you -#-You can't really walk back from that. All you can do is go 'Oh I make this person *miserable* huh?' and leave them be.#And JIN ZIXUAN. My GUY. What were you doing here? Was it nerves?#Like go you for knowing so many snake facts (that is real by the way I didn't make that up).#And true. Some people really do go wild for knowledge dumps. I am assigning JYL as one of those people. To help him recover the fumble.#JZX being a little bit (a lot bit) lame is probably the best thing for his character. I like him just a bit more for this.

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canisalbus · 3 months ago

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You could say I was horsing around.

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#oh the uncanny effect is strong with this one #maybe it's the fact that horse heads are long and narrow so their facial proportions don't change much #when switching from canine to equine #but instead of a familiar snout they get a blunt herbivore muzzle and it's really throwing me off #also poor Machete what did they do to your ears! your big satellite dish ears #shrunken #ooh Vasco is looking extra golden and glimmery #I can imagine him looking downright glorious when sun hits him just right #thank you! always lovely seeing your art of them #gift art #kuroikamome #Vasco #Machete #own characters #getting Bojack Horseman flashbacks

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fisheito · 8 months ago

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He's a magician

#how does eiden keep doing that #that. naked magic. tablecloth sweep but suddenly it's rated oops for selective nudity #this is the 2nd time i've drawn eiden motion blur swiping yaku's clothes off. will this become a pattern?#yes i am still thinking about aegis r2. naked apron forever #i know there was probably an interlude. a moment between R1 and R2 [R1.5]#where eiden said TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES ok now put the apron back on #and yakumo's all ??? JUST the apron? ?? ??#then we go into R2 and it starts with yakumo questioning eiden's costume direction #but i wouldn't put it past eiden's mystical part time abilities #to be able to selectively nakify his clan members #haHA! behold! the art of misdirection! NOW WITH SEXY CONSEQUENCES!!#at some point in the future eiden will show off his tablecloth swoosh trick (the legitimate one. that actually uses the tablecloth)#and yakumo will be mildly wary the entire time. hands hovering near his crotch area as he was lucky to do the FIRST time #anyway eiden performs the trick successfully. no one's clothes slide off. the tablecloth is swooshed. the dishes are intact.#now we can either leave it at that or go the route of Violence #like the dramatic samurai strike. there's a moment of nothing . THEN EVERYONE IN THE ROOM LOSES THEIR CLOTHES IN A GUST OF WIND #EIDEN'S ULTIMATE ATTACK!!!!! PENULTIMA NAKED FLAME RENDING SHREDDINATOR RISING TORNADO!!!!!!!#nu carnival #yakuei #nu carnival eiden #nu carnival yakumo

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luckyartdrawer · 4 months ago

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Eclipse was a little late, but he finally found a candle to celebrate your birthday with!

(It turned out to be one of those joke candles that never blow out...)

vvvv Yapping and extras below the cut! vvvv

Sketch and Close up

Alternate sketch colors

I don't know why exactly I really like the glowy sketch version, but even if it doesn't even look like the outline stuff the vanny mask adds onto things in the dlc, it reminds me of it lol

I think it's neat!

I recently saw this art post where they drew and mentioned cannon Eclipse barely getting love and I immediately agreed. I just had to contribute ASAP. Gotta give this kind robo man a forehead smooch. v3v

I don't mean for the image to come off as entirely creepy, I just wanted it to feel like you've been staying in the dark plex with your best buddy eclipse! Stuck but at least not alone. :)

Plus I gotta let the creepy robots be creepy sometimes. It makes the sweet personalities feel even sweeter imo :P

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st-hedge · 8 months ago

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What an edgelord :(

#devil may cry #dmc1 #dante sparda #tw: blood #I’m not finishing this #but I want to illustrate what happens when u get into dmc #u develop this thing called brain rot #which can be especially bad if u are also a fruit #ur brain turns to mush #and if in the past u were a baby edgelord #u are a goner #u will find urself giggling about hot demons while doing the dishes #labotomy is the only option

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specialgrades · 1 year ago

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Not really a request but what are your headcanons on the JJK men's dick sizes?

OHOHO cracks knuckles i can do that. going full in like nanami should be in me rn dick-scriptions time

characters: gojo satoru, geto suguru, nanami kento, toji fushiguro, sukuna, choso, atsuya kusakabe

GOJO SATORU : a bit above average, a good 6.5 ~ 7in. slight curve upwards. a good 2.5 ~ 3.5in thick. pretty pink flush on the tip, shaft a few shades darker than his skin tone. cut. carpets match the drapes of course, he keeps it trimmed. fun trail tell me i'm wrong (i'm not). super sensitive vein on the underside. sensitive thighs too. grower.

GETO SUGURU : honestly, average cock size. he rounds up to five inches but we all know it's 4 3/4. two inches thick. like gojo, a nice pink flush and a few shades darker. no curve. for sure has a piercing, prince albert probably; silver jewelry. uncut. not a jungle, mildly maintained. sensitive head, especially with the piercing. shower.

NANAMi KENTO : nothing overwhelming, though still impressive. 7.5in long, 3in thick. cut, duel toned because of it. top half is more pink than the rest. short trim. curve to the left. right under the head is the key, he'll bite back a really embarrassing noise if you focus there. grower.

TOJi FUSHiGURO : i pray for y'all toji simps for real, cause fuck. 8.5in easy. 4 inches thick minimum. man built like a tripod. uncut, darker with red undertones. upwards curve. jacob's ladder. three of 'em. this man doesn't shower i'm so sorry. two prominent veins when you pull back the foreskin, sensitive but he'll never show it. shower.

SUKUNA : i pray for y'all as well. find a pringles can. it's bigger. ten inches long, four inches thick. curves upwards and a tad to the right. cut, pale so it gets a nice flush. his tattoos make an appearance, wrapping around the shaft a few times. grower thank god.

CHOSO : average length, 5.5in but thick. four inches. curve to the right, uncut. darker than his skin tone by around four shades. not super trimmed, a delicious fun trail leading to a mild bush. mildly sensitive head, though go for his navel and you'll get a lovely show of him getting all breathy and twitching. shower.

ATSUYA KUSAKABE : i've only just met this man but i want him. carnally. so... six inches in length and 2.5 in width. cut, duel toned though you can't really tell until he's flushed and the top half goes a pretty dark pink. like choso, tasteful amount of hair with the fun trail. one prominent vein that's sensitive, under the head too. grower.

#💌 ; asks.#gonna tag. all of them. hello *dies*#jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen x male reader #gojo satoru x male reader #geto suguru x male reader #nanami kento x male reader #toji fushiguro x male reader #sukuna x male reader #choso x male reader #atsuya kusakabe x male reader #tagging m!reader even tho it's not specific cutely #i wrote this instead of doing the dishes like my dad reminded me a good five times #me holding up a ruler while writing this: jesus christ. fuck.#i was gonna add mahito but that man can just change it at will and lies too. has never told the truth in his life #✏️ ; works.

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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses · 2 years ago

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self-love is me resisting the urge to eat the leftovers I have in the fridge as a bedtime snack, out of compassion and adoration for future-me, who deserves to wake up in the morning and eat something delicious without having to cook it first

#self-love is also current-me cooking eggs and toast as a midnight snack instead #it's delicious and i am not so hungry and rushed that i mind taking the time to cook something yummy #and as a second act of self-care i am even doing the dishes instead of leaving them to soak overnight! i'm being so kind to my future self!#... actually no I'm gonna leave the frying pan to soak. future-me can deal with that they're the one getting delicious leftovers #food mention

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artielotl · 2 months ago

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