#I can do so much science
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
I am very excited for things
#mizu nonsense#My friend is hosting a Minecraft server and I am part of it and I am so so so excited because Minecraft and the mentioning of a reactor and#i can do science#I can do so much science
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
rather predictably, i have fallen hopelessly in love with this guy
#soup art#professor layton#jean descole#hershel layton#luke triton#artistic man of . science . with his lofty goals . freak . hiw do i hit him#par for the course with most layton characters but he is SO much fun to draw#also taking any excuse i can to draw characters with emotive eye masks#logically it makes no sense but its fun . its fun !!!!
235 notes
·
View notes
Text
Woke up having a crisis about if I want an MD or an MD PhD………. It’s so over
#What do I want out of this LIFE!!!!!#Like I know what I want it’s to become a doctor I’ve wanted that since I was a child#But when I went to college I actually fell in love w research but didn’t get to do as much as of it as I want and now I’m like but I love#Science and I love research#Like a big part of why medicine is so attractive to me is for the science of it all#But I also love medicine too so can’t see myself just doing a PhD and not practicing#So an MD PhD makes sense but I also wanna specialize eventually and not just be in academic medicine#It’s actually so over for me I need 5 different advisors to tell me I’m insane#I’m the ideal Arab child in the sense that my parents did not brainwash me into wanting to be in medicine bc it’s#Literally just naturally what I want#But my issue is all the paths I can take to get there bc there are SO many
42 notes
·
View notes
Text
Till's piece from the event is a very honest depiction, but I want to examine it in more detail since it looks so interesting.
For one, I find the headpiece confusing, I was hesitant on this point in the last post I made covering this I assumed the headpiece Till is wearing (separate from the headphones) was this device.
There isn't even a name for that device, but it's been theorized that it serves a similar function have the collars pet humans have, but affects the pet humans in some way.
I believe it's a behavioral management device since there is an emphasis on the brain when it's shown. And just based on the design itself. I think the purpose of it is similar to a shock collar.
Till in this environment looks familiar, he has that focused expression that he always has when he's writing music, like he's in a daze. Since this is a practice in a controlled environment I think he might actually be handling an instrument this time around (hence the headphones). Till has a natural passion for music, the environment of Anakt Garden also appears more calm than what he goes through with Urak so he looks very much in his element.
But despite how calm, and focused he looks outwardly, his collar shows orange.
Till is giving with his expressions even around the aliens, so if he was feeling bad (I would suspect as much seeing the fresh experiment patches..) I believe it would look more obvious, but the difference threw me off a bit. I could be reaching (definitely) But given how unruly his behavior can be, and how much effort the aliens are putting into finding ways to subdue him I think they used that device to mellow him out so that they could properly monitor him.
The collar being orange gives me the impression that he's not as calm as he looks but the headpiece is keeping him in a 'sedated' state(?)
Red - Condition in the negatives, energy depleted, feeling bad. overall horrible state.
Orange, yellow - to a lesser extent, more like if you're feeling skittish, nervous, (think of this mode as feeling under the weather)
Green - Good, calm, happy, normal and a healthy mode.
(Translation by kh47uo on Twitter)
This behavior could also show desensitization, as he had likely been conditioned to not be phased nor show weakness in front of the aliens even if he feels bad, a way of tolerating. But this is just me trying to make sense of whatever that head gear was... he could've also been sedated beforehand (banging my head against the concrete)
Also interesting to me that we weren't shown Till doing other things, like dancing, or singing. I think it's a testament to Anakt's (And Urak's) priorities as they have Till build on his music skills, his strongest skill. It's probably because that's all he has to offer is his music (His grades in every other subject are a mess.). So building that to its greatest potential before anything is important. But it's a reminder of the situation, he's not so intense about his craft because of his inclination to it. He doesn't make music simply because he likes it, he does it because it's what he has to do to survive. Despite doing what he is naturally driven to do, he looks like he has had his life drained out of him.
Urak (the bastard) knows that for sure. Appearances, and 'decent' skills can get you far but overwhelming passion and skill can put you farther above all the rest, it's exactly why Luka is the best in his league, and why Urak pushes Till to his limits to surpass that even with such destructive means.
#overanalyzing this under a microscope for science#yes this is a smelly brainvomit i really just want to yap because i love this piece#probably one of my favorites#im gonna kill urak im gonna kill urak im gonna kill#explodes#i think i went a little off track here but i found a lot to say about this piece#this whole event looked like what the aliens find flaws in their pet humans/ need to perfect#like Ivan. above all things he needed to get his appearance corrected for the stage#things like that#it's probably very mundane to the aliens#to me it looks like medieval torture#average day of kindergarten in alien stage:#im getting tears on my keyboard#alien stage#alnst#alien stage till#alnst till#i think they probably zooted him out like usual if the head piece is there for nothing in specific#i know its something to do with experiments though the wires are tell tale#whyre the aliens taking so much fucking blood#ill become a doctor to solve this mystery#something something heperu and urak are going to drive their pets ballistic the more they treat them like soldiers that can take anything#in the name of 'improvement' more like 'win my silly ego game my little barbie doll'#THEY WERE ALL JUST KIDS DAMN#FUCK#slams my head on the pavement agai
63 notes
·
View notes
Text
PLEASE DO NOT TAG AS YOUR OWN OC OR PAIRING.
Nathan and Ruben share a bond more powerful than most; mutual understanding through past experiences no one should ever have to go through, and through past actions so horrible they cannot be spoken of. Their grief and the blood on their hands binds them to the STEM technology they created, which has alienated them from the rest of the world— but they give each other the comfort they have both longed for so desperately for years, and that is all they need. They are each other's counterpart; you cannot imagine one without the other, like two sides of the same coin. Through their pain, their grief, their desire, and their regret, they have become one.
anna akhmatova, the guest // bones; equinox // 'i won't become' by kim jakobsson // agustín gómez-arcos, the carnivorous lamb // by oxy // achilles come down; gang of youths // czeslaw milosz, from 'new and collected poems: 1931-2001' // 'extended ambience portrait from a resonant biostructure' and 'migraine tenfold times ten' by daniel vega // a little death; the neighbourhood // marina tsvetaeva, from 'poem of the end' // by drummnist // katie maria, winter // 'nocturne in black and gold the falling rocket' by james abbott mcneill whistler // micah nemerever, these violent delights // body language; we are fury // 'the penitent' by emil melmoth // chelsea dingman, from 'of those who can't afford to be gentle'
taglist (opt in/out)
@shellibisshe, @florbelles, @ncytiri, @hibernationsuit, @stars-of-the-heart;
@lestatlioncunt, @katsigian, @radioactiveshitstorm, @estevnys, @adelaidedrubman;
@celticwoman, @rindemption, @carlosoliveiraa, @noirapocalypto, @dickytwister;
@killerspinal, @euryalex, @ri-a-rose, @velocitic, @thedeadthree
#tew#edit:nathan#nuclearocs#nuclearedits#so much shame in my body but still used my taglist but um let me know if you want to be excluded from oc/ship web weaves#just really wanted to share this one because i'm very proud of it and i want it on my blog. so. :]#recognition of the self through the other + wanting so desperately for the other to be deserving of a second chance#because if there is hope for them than there is hope for you etc etc and so on. that's the core of their dynamic i think#they understand each other on such a fundamental level that no one else comes close to because they are in so many ways the same#like how in in the first game leslie could sync up with ru/vik and all that? nathan would be a VERY good candidate for that as well#and it makes me insane!! and then the added layer of nathan being lead developer of mobius' new and improved STEM system#which makes him the same as ru/vik AGAIN but in like. the way that they're both men of [computer] science#and there's the fact they both have a dead sister. they both killed their parents. they were both mobius playthings for YEARS#and they've happily killed and tortured during all of it. they're angry they're out for revenge they're completely disconnected from#the normal human experience and they're working with what they have. and then after all of that is over then what is left?#their story focuses on them picking up all the pieces. everything that's still salvageable at least. and try to start over in a way#they cannot be forgiven for what they've done but they can move on from the past and do different in the future#there's still things left undone and left unsaid... in my canon at least. i know there's not gonna be any more games. it's fine#anyway they end up going to therapy and then they get better they're not a doomed couple they just like being dramatic#if you read all of this we can get married tomorrow if you'd like
78 notes
·
View notes
Text
i know it's late but HAPPY BIRTHDAY WARREN GODBY
#warren godby#red valley podcast#red valley#Warren Godby the man that you are#Casually s*icidal middle aged/retirement age man who has 0 conflict resolution skills#a tendency towards violence#A love of retro games#And the diet of a toddler#Horrendously dysfunctional elder millennial with brain damage who is in love with his best friend#Popsicle man who'd rather not deal with it right now thank you#He can eat so much ice cream and never get a brain freeze#Captain shit#Somehow managed to land an incredibly intelligent and well adjusted wife oh wait nevermind#Is pretty sure tortoises will never love you back#Is he neurodivergent or is it just the trauma + brain damage#The most horrendously avoidant man of all time#Needs a lot more therapy than he ever ended up getting#Like if the frozen feeder eats you find in a pet store were also lab rats#Guinea pig of all time#Semi-willing recipient of evil science experimentation#Ok I think I'm done#I do love him
33 notes
·
View notes
Text
Batman Annual #25
Before Talia took him in, before he was dunked in the pit to have his memories restored, even when operating purely on survival instinct, he always split a meal with the other homeless people. It may not have been essential to his survival, but caring about and helping other people when he couldn’t even help himself was just always such an intrinsic part of Jason’s core.
#so much so that it prevailed over basic self-preservation#my guy lost 90% of his cognitive function and he’s still out here helping people in any way he can#my post#new headcanon: that’s why he stole all 4 tires. because he wasn’t just feeding himself in crime alley.#or at least he was planning to expand his work now that he had more confidence in his ability to feed and care for himself#I mean he also isn’t the type to brag about his good deeds yk? we all know he was putting up a tough guy façade when Bruce found him#a mutual asked abt Jason’s white streak so I directed them to hush which ofc reminded me of this book#rather than it being exclusively a pit thing imo it makes more sense for it to be a combination of actual health related issues#like the chronic prolonged mental and physical stress he had to endure coupled with the fact that superboy’s punch kickstarted his body#in ways that are unknown to modern science#and then the pit also had a hand in it (probably??)#(imo). like Talia doesn’t have it. neither do Damian or Ra’s or anyone else who’s been in the pit.#jason todd#dc#batman annual 25#comic panels
363 notes
·
View notes
Text
any trans person should get HRT for free (no insurance required) and in exchange they should participate in the occasional study/survey.
research into sex hormones and their effects is so scarce and you have a whole ass population group who's willing to not only switch up their hormones but keep it up for very long periods of time. you could run some incredible long term studies with participants across all sorts of demographics.
while it's impossible to conduct any blind studies on this due to observable change in appearance, there's still so so so much data we're giving up on because we'd rather...
lemme check my notes. that cant be right.
...because we'd rather deny trans people health care and let them die. huh.
#trans#transgender#ramble#queer#lgbtq#genderqueer#hrt#trans hrt#crimes against the gender convention#someone make me a scientist im onto something#like yes obviously science needs funding and shit but if we can stuff dead fish into mri machines we can give out some pills#we have a... grasp on physical changes but even that is limited#effects on behavior have like. 3 studies in 30+ years or something like that#and we cant really extrapolate from animal experiments because human brains are so much more complex#and what about variants!! id fucking love to take a fucked up lil cocktail to see which aspects of a physical transition can be isolated#like if i take testosterone i am SO gonna start balding but theres supposed combinations that would inhibit the effect on hair loss/growth#but i cant have that because theres not enough science on it to get it approved here (especially if insurance is involved)#hello i am the science lemme do it!! gimme!!!!#id even let you float me in a vat of mysterious green liquid#actually that seems like a benefit
43 notes
·
View notes
Text
It turns out teaching is a lot more fun when you're not violently depressed
#thank u lamicta1 🖤#good news: i can be enthusiastic abt science and teaching again#bad news: i fucking suck at drawing and maybe dont actually want to do my phd project anymore#like there r so many other cool things out there aside from chl f. like i dont really care that much abt it. i just wanna do eps stuff :-/#also. still cant read. but ya kno#will i still b here by the end of the semester? fucking who knows#now im like. FUCK. i wanna go back to the desert where there r miles of cyanobacteria dominanted soil#but i dont wanna live in las vegas :-(#unrelated
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
Gman and his son, Tommy Coolatta!!!
Hrrngh, flowercrown ref redraw TWO!!
Even tho Gordon doesn't really know Gman, just due to being Tommy's dad he gets his own flower :) . Although none of Gmans flowers will sprout on Gordon himself, they are scattered around a few small spots of Black Mesa (any time Gman freezes time leaves these flowers)
Tommy was the second to last to remember the resets, and unlike the other times Gordon was killed by his friends, this one was accidental. During the fight with Gordon later, he's a bit easier on Tommy then the others.
#art#help how do i anatomy#hlvrai#flowercrown au#tommy coolatta#hlvrai tommy#hlvrai gman#gman hlvrai#gman coolatta#half life vr but the ai is self aware#hlvrai au#hlvrai art#tommy hlvrai#gordon is the last one to remember the resets. Xen kind of like. attacks his mind!#sort of like mind control??? not like. actual mind control but it does influence his reactions by pushing his worst memories to the front#and pushing his good memories to the back.#gordons not reslly in control of his own abilities. he doesnt grow to benrey sizes or anything but he does summon like. a shit ton of#of thorns and gaint man eating plants. vines sprout ffom where his hand used to be.#anyway the science team would win obvs. i dont think theyd kill Gordon again lol theyve done that so much itd just mske everything worse#but they do calmnhim down somehwat?? like they just wreck his shit and knock him out. yippee they win!#now they can all have a heart to heart at chuckcheese . 👍
49 notes
·
View notes
Text
One of my favorite differences in the DBZ manga that makes Vegebul make More Sense To Me, is that because Vegeta never left Earth, he was living at Capsule Corp for over two years before Bulma got pregnant (assuming Trunks is like 3-6mos old when we see him as a baby), but she said she 'wouldn't live with that jerk' afterward, which implies (to me) that he'd been a chill enough housemate up until the pregnancy, which tracks with his generally private and professional behavior as a Lord in the Freeza Force (in the manga).
I like to think it became a compounding factor in learning that he was slated to be killed in a year, and led to him being uncharacteristically overzealous and performative (and so opposed to Trunks getting close to him) in the android saga as opposed to how strategic and cautious he was with serious threats in the Freeza saga.
I am also always thinking about how Something Happened between him losing to Cell and re-entering the time chamber in the manga, because he was back living at Capsule Corp and staying near Trunks and Bulma when the Cell Games were announced.
#Something was definitely Bulma not getting laid for over a year and Vegeta not getting laid for over 2 because of time chamber shenanigans#You can just taste the Good Shit in the conversation from that first night back 🤌 Anyway#Every day I think about how Freeza assumed Vegeta was always going to be his biggest threat -- not just for his power but for his cunning#Every day I think about how that can still be true and how after the Freeza arc Toei traded that cunning for boisterous arrogance#even though that was literally only happening in the android saga and not NEARLY as much as they wrote it#Vegeta being Quiet and Smart is ALSO a reason Vegebul makes a lot more sense if you've read the manga#He's probably the only one in that group who never needs her to translate science talk and the bar is low but boy can he can hop over it#Thinking about how he sat there and explained the science of the Great Ape transformation to Goku and WHY he could create a false moon#Thinking about how Vegeta knows what to do how to do it AND can explain to someone WHY it works#and knowing Bulma would hear a bad boy fighter talk Science and throw her underwear at him at terminal velocity#Every day I think about how Vegeta is constantly flirting with the trickster trope but you'd never know that from watching the anime#He's so sMART and Goku's so DUMB that's why they're great FOILS TOEI#Like Goku's not Stupid but he IS dumb he is a dumb puppy and we love him#I see a lot of Geets fans say they miss how he was in the Freeza arc but he's like that A LOT in Super (just on the good guy team)#His breakdown is over he knows who he is again he's confident he's whole he's fucking Out Here in Super PLEASE read the manga
44 notes
·
View notes
Text
“Hey, guys! I’m back! Kinda!”
“Taking the meds that last only through one class is so much better than taking them full time. I’m focused and alert but I’m still ME! I still experience that joy of learning instead of hustling through to get to the next assignment.”
“Only downside is that Home Ec class was horrible today. Why couldn’t Computer Science be the last class of the day? The feeling when the meds wear off is such a sharp contrast that it makes me feel sick.”
“I will continue experimenting. Currently, I’m still struggling to re-learn how to be the me I was before taking meds full time for 2 weeks. It’s like my balance between 2.0 and Classic is all haywire.”
“Stupid Dave and his stupid insistence with me doing homework the stupid “NORMAL” way.”
#alvin seville#alvin and the chipmunks#alvinnn and the chipmunks#alvin 2.0#alternate universe#aatc#computer science#classes#school#med updates#the adhd meds are working#working MUCH better in small doses#I can tolerate this#re-balancing#identity issues#I really am 2 different people and it’s weird#ADHD managed me is so obsessive and anxious#ADHD not managed me is a wild card but also it’s fun being him#how do I bring the two together again?#AHHHHHHH#I’m me again? mostly
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
Has anyone talked about how each member of the Genius Society represents the over reliance on the belief of intelligence but not the act of intelligence?
#like they mostly take up resources and are pseudo-celebrities more than they do useful things#They act more as villains over consuming resources that could be put to better use#If anything more people should hate them#In universe not like as characters#but just like in real life - people don't notice how awful they actually are#I think at one point it's stated that Ruan Mei turned a desert planet into a lush jungle or something?#I cannot emphasize enough -- she fucked over that ecosystem. That was fucked up of her. She killed everything.#And people praised her for it! They don't care about science. They care about the prestige. She's famous. Nous chose *her*#Herta doesn't even do her own work. Nothing would get done if it wasn't for all of her assistants.#Screwllum is god-king of his own planet. I mean he also killed a god-king but you can't go around replacing one with yourself#Which is what makes Ratio so fun. He notices and calls them out.#but also in a way where it's hard to tell if there's jealousy involved or not.#And his version of intelligence is helpful. He gives back to his community. He cares about people first even if they annoy him.#The only Society members I respect are Stephen (baby); the one philanthropist (thin ice); the spider (awesome);#and the serial killer who kills other members who I strongly suspect to be Herta but that's another conversation entirely#Anyway I just think it's odd that they're an obvious analogy for how people think there is such as thing as “intelligence”#that can be declared by some all-knowing all-seeing creature and everyone else is “worthless” by comparison#to even be said as much by a character in the game#and the audience still thinks they're supposed to be smart.#Nous was created by an egotistical man who was himself first recognized by his own biased judging algorithm#The Genius Society isn't the epitome of intelligence they are Silicon Valley#like the parody is so fucking on point there are literal jokes in game if you pay attention
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
AAAAAA, OKAY-- @persephone-s-moon I could not find their updated refs for the life of me, so, woe, busted old concept art be upon ye. (Excuse the wonky proportions, these were done on my phone.)
Shortest rundown I can manage:
Did someone order a tragic throuple with time-travel/reincarnation shenanigans and a side of hurt/comfort/fluff?
Candavata Bhatia: Elven queen, from the kingdom of Sona, and the baddest bitch to ever live. In order to prove herself worthy of holding the crown over her sisters, she needed to channel one of the gods. So, not only did she channel one, she called upon Bijalee, the embodiment of lightning and storms--and the most difficult one to channel due to her wild and hazardous nature. She has been the only person to do so, aside from the First Queen. This earned her the titles of Storm Bringer and Lightning Tamer. She and Qamar are married and have been best friends since childhood. Can you tell I love her?
(Side note: Editing this on my laptop and holy ashy tone, Batman. Hoping it's just my screen because my girl does NOT look like this, I promise--)
Qamar Abn awaa: Werejackal prince, devout cleric of Layl, goddess of the night and medicine, and the definition of the "I'm a healer, but--" meme. He managed to show both great power and promise from an early age when, during a political visit to the Sona royal court, he used his knowledge of anatomy to turn one of Candavata's would-be assassins inside out. This is where he and Candi's marriage was arranged. He is of a generally very sunny disposition, which often makes people underestimate him, as they assume he's useless in serious situations--but, when shit hits the fan, he's the one you want to be next to. (I started designing him when I did not understand how to map out locs or braids. Qamar, my prince, I am so sorry, I swear I will do right by you and fix whatever monstrosity I gave you.)
Vincenzo Virago: Vampire duke. The intersection of an emotionally constipated killing machine and massive nerd failure. He's head over heels for both Candi and Qamar, but he doesn't feel like he can tell them, due to the fact that he views himself as unlovable, both wanting and growing jealous of them. (He is completely oblivious to the fact that they are also in love with him.) He's terrified of turning into his father, but it seems like everything he does only turns him further down that path. He's a warlord. He's a wet cat. He needs therapy.
It's a stable, constant dynamic. You never see one without the other. Where Qamar goes, Candi is right beside him, and Vince is right behind them. Whenever something goes wrong, usually they're at the center of it, all having different roles in the trouble. Candi, the planner, Qamar, the keen lookout, and Vince, the instigator. He keeps the two of them grounded, on their toes, and they do what they can to keep him away from his father. Even after they graduate and take their places in their respective castes, they stay in touch.
The story itself begins at the worst part of their relationship.
At this point, Candavata and Qamar have been married and are tending to their responsibilities as king and queen of their joined empire. Though they try to stay in touch with Vincenzo, it's difficult--and Vince doesn't make it easy, either. Over the years, he becomes withdrawn. He stops answering their letters, he refuses to see them when they come in person, every time. After a while, they stop trying. Not because they don't love him, they do, but there's only so much you can do when a person doesn't want (or doesn't think they deserve) help.
Vincenzo, after years of sitting with the jealousy and battling his father's horrendous treatment, broke. He didn't just spiral, he nose-dived, doubling down on every bit of gossip and rumor, until he's changed and warped into something even he can't recognize. He shuts out Candi and Qamar. Maybe he doesn't want to taint them, maybe he thinks this is how it was meant to go, maybe he can't stand their gentle hands or the pitying look in their eyes. Maybe he just wants the excuse. Whatever it is, Vincenzo becomes a monster, with blood on his hands.
In the end, Candi and Qamar had to be the ones to put him down.
Which is where we get into the time/reincarnation fuckery.
Because, when the pain fades and Vincenzo opens his eyes, expecting to see whatever eternal damnation looks like, he sees his university bedroom. Littered with textbooks and letters from Candi and Qamar, and his graduation robes hanging on the back of the door.
He's got a second chance to go back and unfuck everything, but only time will tell if he'll succeed or end up exactly where he was before.
Something, something, breaking cycles and being open with your loved ones, allowing yourself to be loved by others and yourself, and sometimes men are at their best covered in blood and a little bit pathetic.
(Oh, and, you want a really fun fact? Vince isn't the only one who remembers the original timeline.)
#literally so nervous to share this--usually my concept art never sees the light of day beyond a discord server#but I promised polycule lore and polycule lore you shall have#*holds gently*#they're my favorite couple I've made next to Anna and Gabriel#whose story I could literally fill the library of Congress with#there's so much more I want to add but this post is already getting long#oh and in case you were wondering#Candi is the one with the brain cell most of the time#Qamar has it second and Vince... well he tries#also Qamar is transmasc and basically did most of his HRT on his own#like he created his own regiment with his own magic from scratch#same with his bottom surgery--in fact he actually published a thesis on his own technique to be shared with other doctors#which is a whole process I can get into on another post#he's like Dr. Jekyll in that he practices his experiments on himself and doesn't involve other people because he understands consequences#and wouldn't potentially do irreversible harm to other people for “the betterment of the science”#and would also punch Victor Frankenstein in the jaw#which I could also get into on another post#(he literally dropped out of college! he doesn't have a doctorate! he abandoned his creation due to his own fuck up regarding it!)#anyway#vampire#Werejackal
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
Dream A Little Dream of Me
Steddie. Contains: wet dreams, arguments, makeouts. 18+only
Eddie groaned, hands running down someone's spine before grabbing their hips.
"You're so fucking perfect," He gasped out. The lewd sound of skin slapping skin filled the air intermingled with moans. "Harder," the person gasps, reaching a hand back. Eddie moves his hand to hold the hand of the person. He glances up to the face peering back at him, into Steve-
Eddie jolts awake with a gasp. His heart beats fast as he tries to catch his breath. His skin is soaked in sweat and realizes that his boxers are soaked with his own release. Which, what's more embarrassing, waking up after coming or having a wet dream about your best friend?
Eddie shakes his head to try and get rid of his thoughts. He runs a hand over his head pushing his hair back as he exhales. "Damn," Eddie mumbles," Just a dream." He slowly gets up to handle the situation in his boxers, unsure if he's disappointed that it wasn't real.
~~~~~~
Eddie isn't a stranger to sexy dreams. He's, to put it plainly, horny. It isn't like he's had much experience, just the guy or girl who has sucked him off in the bathroom at the bar.
So- horny. Eddie knows that can fuel dreams. He once dreamt he was making out with the news anchor on the local news. He dreamt he fucked a fruit once, which almost tempted him to try it.
But point is, Eddie's had dreams like this before. He's been able to brush them off.
But this dream about Steve...
All Eddie can see now is Steve beneath him. Mouth around him. Eddie in him. Every position is running rampant in Eddie's brain.
He feels like everything Steve does now is obscene. The way Steve's muscles flex in his bicep as he puts movies away. The way he moves his hips as he shimmies dancing with Robin. The curl of his lip as he snarls and bitches about customers, just begging to have Eddie's own lips pressed against them. The curls of chest hair peeking out over his shirt, taunting Eddie to run a hand through it. The moles and freckles dancing across his skin, begging Eddie to trace them with his tongue.
Eddie thinks he's losing his mind. He also thinks Steve has to know, and is doing things on purpose just to drive him insane. What ever happened to squatting down to pick up something off the ground? Now Steve is just bending at the waist, ass pressed all up against those jeans, taunting him.
Eddie's emotions are everywhere. One minute he wants to confess his love like for Steve. The next he wants to throttle Steve for making him feel this way. One minute he's jerking off, gasping and moaning as euphoria hits. The next he feels insanely guilty for thinking about his best friend that way.
It gets worse when Steve notices.
Well, Eddie thinks he notices. Steve's eyes seem to stay on him a bit too long. Steve's hands grip his shoulder and squeeze too much. Eddie can't survive this torture. Those beautiful eyes peering into his own, Eddie knows one glimpse and Steve could see his entire being.
Eddie just has to ignore it. If he can ignore it, things can go back to normal. He can deal with it dwelling in the back of his mind. He has for years, ever since seeing Steve on the swimming team- which, great now he's remembering those short trunks on his muscular thighs and-
Eddie screams into a pillow, cursing a few times for added emphasis. Why does Steve have to be so hot? So good? So Steve. Eddie bites the pillow, glaring at the wall over the top of it. Just ignore it, push it back down. But as his cock hardens, he can't help his hand reaching down and thinking, just one more time.
~~~~~~
"Okay, enough!" Steve glares, hands on his hips. Eddie has to try to restrain himself from looking at Steve's hips, his crotch. "What?" Eddie bites back, arms crossing.
Steve huffs and shakes his head," What is with this attitude? If you didn't want to hang out you didn't have to come over!"
Eddie's eyes narrow at the tone. Steve's voice has the same angry bitchy tone he uses when talking about the Worst Customers. Steve is using that voice talking about him.
"I don't have a fucking attitude princess! Maybe watch your damn tone." Eddie throws his hands up and leans back into the couch further. "My tone!? My tone!?" Steve barks out a laugh," What about yours?"
"I don't have a fucking tone!" Eddie glares. Okay, maybe he does. But how's a man supposed to act when their crush answered the door shirtless? Letting his eyes wander down his chest to his happy trail to-
"You've been a sarcastic little bitch all evening!" Steve steps forward, finger pointing against Eddie's chest," You're glaring, you're pouting, rolling your eyes. You're in a fucking mood, don't take it out on me! I didn't do anything!" With each word, Steve jabs his finger against Eddie's chest.
Eddie snatches Steve's wrist, emotions bubbling over as he yells," Yes, you did!"
Steve's eyes widen and his jaw drops slightly. The fire in his eyes dies out. "Oh," Steve pauses," I didn't..." Steve tries to remove his hand from Eddie's grasp, causing him to panic and tighten his hold.
"I'm sor-" "Fuck, Steve. I didn't mean it like that." Eddie sighs," You're just...you." "If this is the whole "it's not you it's me" speech I don't want to-" "You're beautiful."
Steve freezes at Eddie's words. Eddie can't help but continue," You're fucking gorgeous man. Your arms, your legs, you know your ass looks good. (Steve hums in agreement) A person who looks that good should have a terrible personality. But you don't! You're kind, protective, selfless. I could go on, I just, damn man. You're the total package and I can't stop thinking about you.
When I go to bed I'm thinking of you, when I wake up I imagine waking up next to you. Hell, even my dreams are full of you! So, yes, I do have a mood Steve. Because I know you could never be with a guy like me."
"Says who?"
Eddie freezes. That's...no, he must be suffering from some form of hearing loss cause there's no way-
"Says who?" Steve implores, hand on Eddie's jaw, lifting his face so Eddie's staring into Steve's. "Uh..." Eddie blinks a few times. His tongue darts out to wet his lips and he watches as Steve's eyes trace the movement.
Steve's eyes who, a minute ago had lost all fire, was alight with flames again. Steve's thumb lightly traces Eddie's lower lip, causing a shiver to go down his spine.
Eddie parts his lips, letting Steve's thumb rest against them. He hesitantly licks the tip, giving him a chance to pull away. But Steve doesn't, no, he pushes his thumb harder against Eddie's mouth, causing Eddie to open further.
Eddie wraps his mouth around Steve's finger and sucks lightly. "Fuck," Steve steps closer," You should have said something sooner. You're on my mind too Eddie."
Eddie's eyes flutter closed as his tongue circles Steve's thumb. He can feel himself start to harden against his already tight jeans. Steve pulls his thumb out of Eddie's mouth with a pop. Eddie starts to let out a whine when Steve straddles his lap.
Which- Eddie thinks he's dead. Because Steve hasn't even done anything except sit in his lap and he thinks he's in Heaven. Eddie's hands automatically grasp Steve's hips.
Steve shifts forward slightly, both men holding back moans as their bulges grind against each other. Steve wraps his arms around Eddie's neck, leaning forward.
Their noses brush before their lips touch. Eddie can't help but sigh. Steve's lips are as soft as he thought they'd be. Eddie hopes it's good for Steve, cursing himself for not putting chapstick on recently. All sense of time is lost as their lips move in tandem. It could be five seconds or five minutes of them kissing, and Eddie never wants it to end.
They break apart, panting as Steve helps Eddie take his shirt off. As soon as his arms are free, Eddie grabs Steve's ass, a nice handful. He can't wait to worship it later. Steve sheds his own shirt, leaning back to kiss Eddie.
Steve's chest hair rubs against Eddie's sparse own. Steve rubs his hands up and down Eddie's front, pausing a moment to roll one of Eddie's nipples. Eddie whimpers as pleasure licks down his spine.
Steve rolls his hips into Eddie's, causing him to gasp. Steve deepens the kiss, licking into his mouth without hesitation. With each movement of Steve's hips, his clothed cock hits Eddie's just right. Eddie can't hold back the moan that escapes him.
Steve pulls back, a wicked grin on his face. Eddie knows he must look a sight. He can feel his face is flushed, lips slightly swollen from kissing. His cock feels harder then a diamond. A wet spot formed on the inside of his boxers where precum has leaked.
Eddie recalls his dream. How Steve was splayed out in front of him. But as Steve goes to unbutton Eddie's pants, Eddie can't help but imagine he may have gotten it wrong. Maybe Eddie is the one who's gonna be laid out in front of Steve.
#And Eddie doesn't care!! He's down for either way!! And guess what so is Steve#Neither last much longer nor do they get to go much further but as they gasp for breath Eddie thinks#That maybe just maybe Steve would be down to try all those positions#But truly neither has a thought going on in their heads all they can focus on is the ecstasy they feel in each other#(Steve is ecstatic thinking holy shit my crush likes me back this was great meanwhile Eddie is like lmao does he actually like me????)#(Newsflash he totally does)#Steve casually sets a book down that has a picture of a position and Eddie's like#that's so not correct like anatomically i think that's#Like 100% impossible“ and Steve is all coy like ”oh??? We should test it out for like science or whatever#Eddie's already taking his clothes off before Steve can even speak#They match each others freaks#Steddie#steve harrington x eddie munson#eddie munson/steve harrington#steve harrington/eddie munson#eddie munson x steve harrington#Jade is Talking
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
i hate feeling ambitionless aimless the future is so bleak
#this is about me not the events#i really don't think i have a plan lol and i ever will...#because all through school i had this thing. need to pass this unit test this half yearly this 2nd unit test final exams need to do this#cocurricular activity and the absolute relief when i flipped the report to see i was promoted every year. that was the aim right#now i don't know what's happening#a set set of friends i met everyday sat next to permanent place in the field where we had lunch. like?#it was all so permanent#i knew teachers did not like me or how people there felt about me#and i think a lot of it comes from the fact that i never changed schools#14 years in the same place then one random tuesday it ends everything ends and im supposed to start from scratch#losing friends was all my fault but goddddddf. i used to be good at things#like when i was in 10th grade i gave my everything to studying maths because mom threatened me that if do not get science here we'll change#your school#to wherever you get science#so i studied like crazy did not touch my phone for months and got science#like that is my level of attachment to that place#i just miss it so much probably more than my own home#and i can't belong anywhere because i'm so stuck and nothings good enough and i miss being good and being academically productive#it was my only win i think#this is so sad but i don't think i'll ever get that past work ethic back and it will never be good enough for me to feel good about myself#which can only be through study or work because im a loser who thinks she's worthless if not for a successful career#and I've felt this way for three years now. it is going to be permanent#everything is lonely
8 notes
·
View notes