#I both nobody and everybody

[anonymous-flowers-on-the-beach]

Alone in a crowd of people 

I know you but do you know me              Are we here together or am I alone?         I recognise your face from long ago         Every other face is blending in my mind          

You don’t know me but how do I know you            Am I sitting on the sidelines or waiting for you?            I seen you in my dreams so often             Reality can never be my dreams

I knew you but you didn’t know me          Are we holding a gaze or am I in the way?         I’ve held you in my arms for years            Anyone else’s touch feels softer 

You know me but I don’t know you       Am I with you or are we separate?       I can’t even recall anything about you        You remembered my everything        

[zeb-z]

the Niklaus fandom is dying ❗️ Repost if you’d trust him with your wallet!

[wow-an-unfunny-joke]

I fucking hate soulmate aus! But hear me out- skk soulmate au, Chuuya doesn’t have a soulmate for arhabaki reasons, Dazai doesn’t have a soulmate either for like other reasons, he’s just unlucky or smth idk. They find eachother, they skk it up, one of them is like ‘idk if I’m human man, I don’t have a soulmate’ and the other is like ‘yo me too????’ And then they KISS

[average-transdalorian]

Y’know I think all of Char’s divorces could be explained by him being aroallo and trying his best to be alloallo because he doesn’t realize he’s aroallo. But also I’m not sure the world is ready for rep like that

[profounddefendorcrusade-blog]

I feel bad for Starlo. (pt. 2)

Had they just let him get Clover the badge (and literally finish the best day of his life since, again, Clover's gotta go) and then all sat down to chat, everything would have been solved in minutes. Because clearly Starlo's main motivation is making sure other people are happy, right? If they tell him they're not happy, he'd sure as heck care about that. Just look at how he tells the group to have fun with Clover:

btw, this is a human they SHOULD be excited to talk to more since well... they're a human. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity, and they are SUPPOSED to be into the western culture almost as much as Star, or at least that's what Star thought. More on this later

But no, gotta act jealous instead, call Starlo's training lackluster...

Then you make a better one, Ed, instead of complaining, Star's mind was too occupied with everything, as it always is. The town needs to be led by someone every day after all. It's all harder than it looks, you've gotta focus on schedules, new ideas, and most importantly radiating positive energy even in the worst of times

...say he's been throwing them around for human business...

huh Moray?? He didn't force you to do anything, you all just went with it. If you hated the training, y'all never said it. Ed also says how he basically doesn't want to participate in the trolley problem which I found sorta.. weird. I mean, it's not very likely that in all the years they've spent roleplaying here, they've never done this before. And even if they hadn't, it really is logical to assume Ed didn't really mean he was terrified and was just acting to make the scene more "dramatic" The five of them ARE sort of actors anyway (why would he be scared tho? it's not a real train that's coming, no real danger here, just harmless fun)

... and apparently call him a meanie and a big-headed sheriff:

HOW is he a meanie Mooch?? How??? He was just trying to be helpful and got too into everything. It's not the same as being mean on purpose. And even if he DID act prouder than usual, he honestly had every right to do it. After everything he's tried to do for the underground, his friends and family, he had every right to lift himself up. All you guys ever did was tag along with him everywhere apparently, never having to worry about anything but your own hobbies, had a secure AND fun job thanks to your boss, a place to live, nap times, PLUS Star was always a nice leader (Ed himself admits this; from my previous blog). How do I know he was nice? Aside from signs in the game, the gang only argued over trivial matters (IDK what exactly but Dina said this)

And Ace... wdym you're following them??

Why??? Star literally praised you and thanked you! What the heck?? Yeah life dealth him a bad hand but you're not doing anything about this situation aside from leaving.

I love all four of them, but honestly, It's not like Star ditched any of you, he didn't ever act angry (besides when Ed insulted his mission, which IS frustrating because: 1) he tried his best to make it enjoyable for everyone 2) this comment Ed made contradicts everything Starlo wanted to feel that day: genuinely proud, happy, useful, important. He wanted to enjoy himself as much as possible and bring as much joy to others as he could. And he was right to want that... especially after all he's already done. Or tried to do. Even though he's too fiery, too passionate, *too much,* why didn't anyone let him know this? Why didn't they tell him he's NOT been making anyone happy, aside from the tourists? Why keep lying to him until his breaking point?

Better explained down here during a discussion in the messages here on tumblr in case ya'll have the patience to read it ↓

Just... After thinking things through, I've started seeing things from a different pov. Yeah, the Four apologise to Clover in neutral, but Starlo STILL has to be the one to come to THEM for forgiveness. Forgiveness for what exactly? What did he do that was worse than what YOU guys did to HIM? (you too Ceroba, especially you, and I'll talk about this VERY soon, in a few days)

Forgetting to tie them off the rails (Ceroba forgot too) because he was too excited to well... feel like a somebody for the first time, like a real sheriff with a real deputy? Putting his needs and feelings first for once instead of walking outside his house at night and whispering to himself and thinking about every single problem he has on his plate? (I think it isn't the sheriff stuff he thinks about) Thinking he was doing the right thing by doing what he thought would be fun for everyone? Being kind to Clover? Not ditching his posse and just... idk, not running off to have an imaginary adventure with the human kid, with just the two of them? What the heck, guys.

Now, I'd understand if he'd been saying stuff like "Alright y'all, you better listen to everything I say, you understand!? Clover is the greatest thing since sliced bread, while all of you all nothing but a drag! Tch. Losers." Or "If you don't do this and that, you're fired for good! Clover will replace you! You're all lame anyway!" Or "Clover, get over here and join me on this and that! Right. NOW."

Starlo literally never said something even CLOSE to this. Only after Ed left did he let him and everyone else go, then blurted out "I was considering firing y'all anyway!" Honestly what I know about Star is that he's fiery and passionate and just snapped because he didn't understand why they left. He had done everything right.. right? He couldn't, no, wouldn't comprehend that his whole life in the Wild East has been a big fat lie. It hurt emotionally and his coping mechanism were always distractions. So he refused to see what he had (accidentally) caused.

In short, what bothers me is that all blame is put on Starlo and he's the only one who has to say sorry when he genuinely didn't know any better. Some folks just aren't introspective enough to notice people's true feelings and Star's one of them. And even if he's good at that, he's been so foused on this whole Wild East thing to think about that too, on top of everything.

He literally had to just stare off into the distance and rethink all his life choices that led him to this point (based on his letter), when instead he could have been a lone entertainer from the start. I mean, he carried all the comedy and charm on his own anyway (imo). He'd get to live his passion, plus entertain the tourists, plus boost his own confidence, PLUS none of his friends would be stuck at a job they hate! PLUS Ceroba, while still staying at Star's, could have gotten a better night's sleep with only the two of them being roommates! It would have been a win win win win win kinda situation if only they hadn't been lying to him for such a long time and just spoke up openly. Simple as that!

[shannonsketches]

Z-Crew in a competitive escape room scenario in which they have to use teams but Vegeta and Bulma are not allowed to team up for several reasons so they both immediately call dibs on Gohan but he teams up with Piccolo while they’re arguing over who gets him so Geets volunteers Goku to Bulma’s team and picks up Krillin and runs away before she can say no

[the-cosmos-withinus]

Shadow Puppets AU stuff - The Collector’s AU Design loosely based on this concept art and some of Philip’s timeline

Philip was born on the road and he and Caleb never stayed in one place very long until they settled in Gravesfield when he was six

He uncovered the Tablet that the Collector was in at age 8, and during their friendship, the Collector decided to use he/him pronouns and Philip helped him pick the name “Astrophel” after the Sonnet Sequence Astrophel and Stella by Philip Sidney 

Not depicted in the timeline, but Philip was 12 when Caleb disappeared into the Demon Realm, and in this AU took the Collector’s Tablet with him. Philip also didn’t go after him alone, and actually was tagging along with a group of Witch Hunters, which included the General

The Witch Hunters all slowly died off while they searched for Caleb, leading to Philip being alone by the time he was fifteen and inflicted with the Curse of the Wendigo (I’ll upload a separate post about the Curse in a couple of days)

Philip lost track of time and was somewhere in his early 20s when he actually found Caleb, and mid to late 20s when he meets Luz. After killing Caleb, Philip set out to find his friend, the Collector, who was hidden by Evelyn and once she knew he was looking for them, created a bunch of fake Tablets to throw him off the trail and made several attempts on Philip’s life until he faked his death and went into hiding.

When Philip found Astrophel he was not able to set him free, but was able to use a glyph combination he created to transfer him from the heavy, hard to carry tablet to a smaller necklace he stole from a previous companion, which they call the Luna-Stella Amulet- Astrophel wears it around his neck in his physical form.

After Philip was certain Evelyn was dead, he started up his crusades against wild magic. Philip picked the name Astrophel for the Collector, the Collector picked the name Belos for Philip

After becoming Emperor, in this AU Belos has a sun/Day motif to compliment Astrophel’s night motif

As before, the only ones that can see and hear Astrophel are people who have touched this Amulet, which by the time Luz enters the demon realm, is exclusively Belos and Hunter, and they form a trio which are a dark parallel to Luz, Eda and King

[forecast-disaster]

y’all, i promise i’m making something for connie’s birthday, but it’s turning out to be a lot longer of a project than i initially expected, so it might be a day late tragically

[introspectivememories]

when we were young..... the most shuggy song ever

[isfjmel-phleg]

🤯

[aleksanderscult]

https://www.tumblr.com/greensaplinggrace/734627296606044160/i-am-being-annoying-ik-but-all-your-comments-are your views on this? i am kinda disagreeing but am unable to put it in words. especially the he would have loved zoya part.

Oh boy.

I have lots of things to say.

First of all, thank you for the ask. And thank you for asking my opinion on this.

The post we're referencing (for those who don't know) is this. And under no circumstances is this my hate reply or anything. I'll only state my opinion.

Anon, I want your opinion about this post of mine once you read it, please. ❤️

(Cut below because this is the LONGEST post I've made so far)

Let's take it one at a time.

"Alina is nothing at all what he wanted a Sun Summoner to be".

I have already examined about what Aleksander was expecting from a Sun Summoner here and I recommend you to read it 'cause most of my thoughts about this are there.

In a few words, I believe Aleksander wanted a person gullible, easy to manipulate, easy to follow him. And to have the same views as him (about the world, politics, the Grisha persecution and what needs to be done etc.). Also someone cut off from other people since this way it'll be easier to take him/her under his wing and manipulate him/her as he wishes.

And I say him/her because I don't think Aleksander was sure if the Sun Summoner would be a male or female. And he DEFINITELY didn't want to fall in love with that person nor did he intended it. I think he only wanted to use that person. Not rule with him/her. The whole "ruling with the Sun Summoner" thing only came to his mind after 1) he fell in love with Alina 2) and when he saw the power she had, the bond between them and their dynamic.

Certainly he must have suspected that the Sun Summoner would be immortal like him. But I believe he thought "he/she will become my right hand, my lieutenant. Someone I will use." Not a King or Queen at his side. That thought only came, just like I said, after he met her (😉).

In the beginning, Alina both was and wasn't what Aleksander was looking for.

She was what he was looking for in a Sun Summoner because:

1) She was an orphan. So hooray! to that 'cause she doesn't have a family to feel connected to. She's all alone for him to take her and mould her as he wishes.

2) She's gullible and thirsty for approval. Aleksander himself said that in RoW:

But she also wasn't what he was looking for 'cause:

1) She already had a villainous perception of him. She told him that she had heard rumors of him. That he has no soul, that something evil created the Fold. Also, what he did to the Fjerdan assassin made her feel even more scared. And of course when she told him that she didn't expect from him to show her kindness because he's the Darkling and he tortures people. All these made the latter distrust her and keep information from her. And, of course, it was a huge obstacle since he had to change that perception.

2) She had Mal. And he tried to cut off that connection by keeping the letters. And he succeeded in that. For a month.

Others could say that her stubbornness was another obstacle for him. And it was because she directed it against him. But people need to understand that even though that annoyed him, it also made him admire her.

And as for the line "the Sun Summoner was the cosmic answer to his needs and loneliness" I believe he also didn't think that but after he met Alina.

Why I stand by so strongly with that belief? Because Leigh said it in a Q&A.

The question by a user was: "If all the Darkling wanted was to be king, why did he had to wait for Alina to come along? How did he know about Sun Summoners and the fact that he should wait for one?"

The answer by Bardugo:

Just like Bardugo said, he waited until the Sun Summoner came to sway the public opinion or use the Fold to his advantage. Not to rule with him/her or stay with that person forever united by marriage. His perception of the Sun Summoner (before Alina came) was entirely political.

Of course some can say "I don't care what the author says. I make my own canon" but I do care. Especially about what she says about the Darkling. Because what she has said about him in interviews and Q&As make total sense about his character and about how I see him too.

I also agree that the Darkling wanted someone that would adore him but I don't exactly believe that he wanted from that person to be a narcissist. That's a strong word. I think he wanted from that person to own his/her power. To have confidence. But narcissism? No.

Also, I don't agree that the Darkling got himself into politics out of his loneliness. I think he did it because no other Grisha would do something about this situation. It kinda reminds me of Thanos when he said "Fine. I'll do it myself". In addition, he knew that he was immortal. So he believed he was the only person that would withstand the test of time and stay on Earth until he solved those Grisha problems.

And about what the post said that the Darkling had the mindset that everything must be happening for a reason, I slightly disagree.

In my mind, he was a realist. He wasn't like "I must be living forever for a reason!" No. He was "I am living forever because I'm too powerful and that's how things are. I have powers that no one else has and yes, that makes me kinda superior than all of you bitches but at the same time I feel lonely." Because the problem with being unique, my dears, is that no one else is like you. You're alone. For him I think it felt both a gift and a curse. But he was a pragmatist with it. I don't think he constantly thought about how the Fates had touched him in everything. And he believed he could save Ravka because he thought of everyone else as too weak and foolish to do it. According to his mindset, HE had more experience, more power and more knowledge to do it.

Now. About the anon's characterization of Alina. I absolutely disagree that Alina is an extrovert. Not in a million years she is. An extrovert is someone who makes friends easily, is outgoing and feels confident socially. Does that sound like Book!Alina? Not to me. Nikolai is an extrovert. Mal is an extrovert. But Alina is more like an introvert or an ambivert. Alina only became very social in S&S because she was forced to as the leader of the Grisha. But even then she needed guidance and advice from Nikolai about it. An extrovert would talk easily, make allies and friends easily, would feel totally at ease on the spotlight. Yes, she was friendly to new people. But that doesn't make her an extrovert. I'm an introvert and I identify with Alina strongly. I'm friendly with new people too but I don't have neither the gift nor the easiness to talk much. Or to laugh or socialize with them.

Here's an example of Alina's awkwardness with other people:

If she was an extrovert she would find something to talk about and there would be no silence. Extroverts have that gift. (My own awkward ass could never💀)

Now about her tendency to avoid responsibility. I both agree and disagree here. There were moments that Alina didn't avoid responsibilities. For example, when she willingly and by her own wish took command of the Second Army in S&S. She could have said "Nah fuck that. Let's go Mal. Nikolai, thank you for the rescue but no". But she proposed that idea herself.

And then of course we have that infamous act of hers where she abandoned everything at the end of R&R and run off with Mal at the orphanage. That really was an evading but I mostly blame Leigh here for the lack of cohesiveness in Alina's character. Sometimes Alina is responsible, sometimes she isn't. For the whole trilogy she loved her power and wanted to shine with it and then Leigh took that from her and made the character seek a quiet life in the countryside. So about this trait of hers I blame the author mostly. Not the character. Leigh didn't keep a cohesive narrative.

I agree that the Darkling was pissed off when Alina run off at S&B because he expected more from her. To save her country instead of abandoning it. And I agree with him. She should handle it better in the first book but she was also seventeen so 🤷 It's complicated.

I agree that Alina isn't comfortable with having attention on her.

I agree that she likes teamwork BUT! only with specific people. For example, she has no problem collaborating with her friends (Mal, Nikolai, Genya, David etc.) but she doesn't like it at all when she has to collaborate with people she doesn't like (Vasily, the King etc.). So it depends on the people she's collaborating with.

She wants to belong yes. I agree.

She likes goofing off with her friends, yes. But! Only with her friends. Those she feels comfortable with (And I don't find it bad at all. That she wants to goof around with her pals, I mean. It's not like she does it in the entire trilogy).

She wants togetherness yes (with her friends again). And even with her allies but only after they understand her and are kind to her.

And I also agree that she mistrusts those in power. She did when she met the Darkling, the King, Nikolai. And she definitely bonds with the underdogs. Genya, for example. And even with Nikolai when she finds out that he's a bastard. Of course it's not surprising for her character since she was an underdog too her entire life.

The Darkling is an introvert but he was made to be this way because his mother never allowed him to make friendships. So he was kinda socially awkward as a child. Who knows what he would have been if his mother wasn't so strict and restricting. An introvert or an extrovert? I leave this for you to decide. But still, as an introvert he had good manipulative skills and knew what to say to people (to the King, to the Grisha etc.). I agree that he wanted to be on the top of the pyramid and about all the rest that he wanted a powerful Sun Summoner capable of subjugation to him.

Now about Zoya. This is the point which I disagree with the MOST. He didn't ignore Zoya because she wasn't the Sun Summoner. He ignored her lustful feelings because he had given up on love after so many heartbreaks. He had witnessed so many loved ones die that he eventually closed off his heart.

The user asked if the Darkling was ever loved by someone (besides him mother). And if he has ever loved someone too in the past (before Alina).

Bardugo answered:

So it's plain that he had given up on love a looong time ago.

"He'd known the name for it once. A hundred lifetimes before."

So apparently for more than a century.🥲

He brushed aside Zoya's feelings for him and any other women's feelings because he was done with his love life. He was being hurt enough. He wouldn't try again.

I think he fell in love with Alina naturally. Aside from her powers and the ideal that she's his balance, he also fell in love with her spontaneity. Her witty remarks. Her failure to hide her feelings. She always showed her emotions through her expressions. And that was something surprising and pleasant for him since when was the last time he met such a person? That also talked to him with such ease?

She made him laugh thrice, remember?

And her tendency to show her emotions openly must have been something strange to him. After so many years in court where nobody must show any weakness.

(The Tailor)

If Zoya was the Sun Summoner I don't think he would fall in love with her. I don't know what would happen between them but I don't think he would feel love for her the way he felt for Alina.

And no, he doesn't ignore Zoya because she isn't the Sun Summoner. He ignores her because he doesn't allow himself to get close to anyone. Not exceptions.

But that doesn't mean that he didn't find Zoya powerful. He did. She was one of his favourites and he had gifted her an amplifier. But that was it. Nothing more than that. Because it's all business to him. Not lovey dovey emotions getting in the way. Not anymore.

And now about the last paragraph of that meta.

I agree that he must have wanted from Alina to accept the color black since the first moment he offered it to her. To embrace it and show to everyone that she's not like the other Grisha. She's special. A favourite of the Darkling's. I'm not sure what the Darkling felt when Alina refused to wear it. But his persistence at the Winter fete shows to me that he considered it important since many important people of the country would attend the party and he wanted to show them "Look who she belongs to. We're one and the same now".

I don't believe that he considered Alina's tendency to hang out with the other Etherealki annoying. I believe he kinda liked it because he thought "Good. She feels one of them now. She feels she belongs here. Not to her old life with her tracker. But here." I think he considered it useful in making her feel more connected to the Little Palace. More accepted. More relaxed. And that way it would be easier for him to manipulate her. She wouldn't have her guard up. Of course he knew that Alina was above them. Different and unique and a league above them. But that connection with others would serve him well for his plans.

I also agree that he wants her to choose him and only him out of devotion and isolation (and yes it's kind of a projection). He refused to comply to her wish in S&B about sparing Mal's life because that would making him weak. Yes, he could be merciful, just like he said. But he wants to have the upper hand. Not her. In the tent scene he's already feeling vulnerable and weak. From Alina's rejection, from the jealousy he feels for the entire Malina situation, from the way she abandoned him etc. If he complied to that wish he would become even weaker. And he certainly does NOT want that. The Darkling wants to feel in control. If he does what Alina wants, she will control him in a way. He will give in to her wish and his feelings. And he wouldn't allow that. So he makes up his own terms.

"Mal is going to die and you will watch that because I want to regain control and cannot give in to you."

He regains the power dynamic in their relationship.

Yes, she will fight him. Yes, she will hate him.

He knows all of that. But it doesn't bother him much because she's immortal too. Eternity will tire her of everything. She will become numb. Like he did. All these emotions will fade eventually.

And about his frustration that she doesn't want what he wants. That what she thinks about the world is not same as what he thinks. I think the Darkling is impatient. He expects from Alina too much. To be as mature as he is. But the difference is that he's centuries old with centuries of experience. And Alina is only 17 years old.😭

Literally, what do you expect from a seventeen year old, Aleksander?

His expectations of Alina were unrealistic, let's face it.

Finally, his belief that Alina will love him eventually because everyone else will be dead, comes from his relationship with his mother, I think. He projects that relationship with Baghra to his relationship with Alina. Just like he kept coming back to Baghra because she was the only constant presence at his life (and everybody else died a mortal death), he thinks Alina will do the same with him. She will come back to him because he will be the only constant presence at her side. Everyone else will become dust and shadows.

OOF!! THAT WAS LONG AF

But kinda necessary because it gave me the opportunity to say some things about these two characters.

In NO case this is a hate reply or hate post. I just said my opinion.😊❤️

Dear anon who send me this ask, please tell me if you agree or disagree with my opinion. I'm REALLY curious. And everybody else feel free to state your opinion too 💛🖤

[loadinghellsing]

what's your favorite Anderson headcanon?

while I have a lot of random Anderson headcanons... my absolute favorite has to be him having a soft spot for animals

since they fall along the lines of innocent creatures that can do no wrong- which I feel fits along the lines of his orphanage work. Picking stray kids and stray cats off the streets, just Anderson and his pack of strays <3

[monmuses]

🔥

Send me a “ 🔥 “ for an unpopular opinion.- currently accepting!

treating new mutuals, especially in DMs or private servers, like you have been best friends since middle school and know everything about each other is VERY weird and an overstepping of boundaries

lemme explain

i had an experience where a mutual had advertised a discord server for people interested in an event they were hosting. i joined, wanting to get into the event as a new mutual. however, i was met with the weirdest approach and introduction via people asking one another who posted an invite. i ended up getting roles to speak in the server and get into the event before i was brought into one of the venting channels.

there, i was suddenly dropped on the most drama i have ever heard about one person that i NEVER met before and was given screenshots of this person who had been in their server months prior. keep in mind that i BARELY knew these people and was only new mutuals with one of these people. i unexpectedly digested all of this information and was kind of just........ weirded out.

the very next day, i was booted out and hard-blocked by this mutual without warning. i dont know what else happened but that is a scenario where suddenly dumping drama and gossip with someone who JUST joined is fucking weird. it's very weird and very invasive in a way. i was given all of this like i was best friends with these people and expected to respond the way they did (all of them had matching profile pictures and similarly written usernames in unique fonts; it gave off red flags for me).

i know for people on here, looking for friends is great! its good and getting to know the other person is exciting, but immediately jumping the gun in a friendship, in my experience, is very weird and is often times overwhelming. and in a situation like this, the first impression i got was this group of friends were very knee-deep in gossip and would still talk about people, even after months of not being apart of said group. bad impressions are not good, especially when you're JUST getting to know the other person.

[dnangelic]

the hollow nonviolence but nevertheless heavily palpable longing and empty vastness of daisuke's heart. post

[varibean]

tweek freaking out in senior year bc he’s trying to figure out what is the earliest he can ask craig out to prom and all of the gang look at him like he’s crazy bc he’s been dating craig practically his whole like, why would he be worried about prom of all things? and that line of questioning just gets tweek going on a rant 

“he could still say NO!!! What if he wants to go as a group instead or doesn’t want to go to prom or OH GOD what if someone else asks him out first, what if lots of people start asking him if i don’t do it as soon as it’s socially acceptable!?” 

and the gang are even more confused bc who in their right mind would ask craig to prom? aside from everyone knowing that he’s dating tweek, he’s like, average at best. no one is trying to steal him away but tweek is losing his mind insisting that craig is a catch that everyone will be fighting over during prom season

[skinnypaleangryperson]

Life would have been so beautiful if people in this generation had decided to actually care about each other instead of arguing on apps all day. For example, I would be alive by 40. Lol