#I am wheezing this ask should be illegal

[official-penis-posts]

rat king cock vs nat king cole fight

The chestnuts are getting fucking roasted either way

[burnedbyshoto]

go the distance

(will you) go the distance

— You’re perfectly content in life except for the fact that you are not dating Deku. When his best friend won’t help you out, you turn to the dark side to get what you want.

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pairing: pro hero!midoriya izuku x bad villain!reader

warnings: 18+, nsfw, smut, manga spoilers, pro hero!au, villain!reader, ofa usage for sex lol, size difference, manhandling, public sex, slight degradation and praise, deku eats his cum outta ya pussy, big dick deku, corruption but make it opposite, deku is a pervert change my mind

word count: 12,715

a/n: well, yall already knew I wanted to make this fic a reality, so here it is for bnharems villain collab!! check out all the already amazing stories if you haven’t already. thank you to kara, sky, and jo for reading this for me because lmao im ass rn. I’m gonna go to bed because I partied a bit too hard last night.

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your quirk: distortion – can make afflicted persons vision shift 6 cm to the left or right at the cost of having their own vision shift the same way

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“Breaking news: We have yet another report to add to the slew of attacks this month, this comes just days after we broadcasted rumors of a villain running rampant over the city. This spate of attacks has put the entire metropolitan area at a standstill, road closures, and damaged property making it difficult for commuters to get to work in the morning. 

“Road maintenance endeavors to do its best to keep the city running, but it seems futile when these attacks continue to increase. The entire city was brought to a standstill by the mysterious villain who has still not been named, but reports show they are nothing like we have ever experienced before. 

“Where are the heroes now? Who will save us from the terror overwhelming our city? 

“Every day the crime toll continues to rise and we have no one here to protect us. The Hero Public Safety Commission assured us earlier in the week that the crime rate would go down, that the top Heroes are out there protecting our city, but if so, where are they? Is it really safe to go out anymore, who can we trust? Would you put your life in the hands of a Hero today? When they have proved our streets are no longer safe. We still have no information on what is going on, or who is involved, but we must remain observant. We will continue to report the latest news as we receive it, but for now, we must implore you to heed the warnings of the city-wide curfew that is soon to be implemented. If anyone has any information on these occurrences in the city, please send them to us or contact the police, you can remain anonymous. The safety of our citizens is what is most important, stay vigilant and don’t go out unless it is absolutely necessary. One thing we know for sure: we can no longer rely on Heroes to protect us. The streets of our once-great city are no longer safe, we are no longer safe.”

The female reporter closes her eyes, despite still being on the air, her eyebrows furrowed as she exasperatedly sighs.

“Was that good enough, Mirage?”

You look at her with a pout, your eyes then clenching shut as your lips move with unsaid words as you motion for the cameras to stop rolling. You tilt your head right and left, muttering a bit.

“Did that seem better to you this time? I don’t know, I don’t think it was scary enough...”

You open your eyes to see the exasperated reporter looking at you as if she personally sought to end you right where you were sitting.

“You are the worst villain I’ve ever encountered,” she deadpans, and you laugh in agreement.

.

.

.

You weren’t really a villain.

If you must put a label on what you were, you would say that you were the best PR head any hero agency could ask for. You were, after all, the top student graduate from UA’s Business Course and had been ushered into a condensed agency the moment you were finished taking your graduation pictures. 

And well, if you are actually curious about the… villainy, you would like to uphold and continue to stress that you weren’t a villain! You were just a public nuisance – like those stupid YouTubers – with the ability to garner Pro Heroes’ attention! People had no reason to scoff at what you did on the daily.

You took both of these jobs very seriously!

It was like being straight out of a comic for you!

A simple – hopefully should the heroes you’re in charge of not be stupid – nine to five job by day, and a badass, crime-committing, sexy as shit villain by night! How could anyone ever hate you for your lifestyle! How could anyone ever hate you?!

But we are all noisy people, and everyone wondered just why you became a villain because you had a beautifully stable job with an impressive salary! Why would such an amazing woman such as yourself dabble in the evilness of humanity? 

Well, you did have an answer for the public.

“Why do you engage in evil, villainous schemes?” the reporter deadpans, absolutely and utterly not being paid enough to humor you in this forced interview.

The public loved drama, pizazz, a little showmanship even from what they deemed humanities worst! So, you told the world why you chose to be evil instead of good:

“Because I want to be!” you grin, flashing a pose as you make your away from the interviewer you had very much illegally forced to interview you. “And because a hero killed my cat!’

Of course, that was a lie! Why would you ever hand over the real reason as to why you decided to become a villain! You’d be laughed right out of Japan, possibly be murdered by a horde of fangirls!

For you see, there was one reason and one reason alone as to why you decided to take your place within the villainy hall of fame. Why you chose to do more in your day outside of your already demanding job.

And that one reason was: Pro Hero Deku, civilian name Midoriya Izuku.

Now, trying not to come off as some creepy, weirdo, stalker fangirl, you could fully admit that you were in love with the stupidly large hunk of a man that debuted as an official pro a year before you graduated from high school. 

You remember how the world was finally recovering from the year-long nightmare that had ensued. To be honest, you were stupidly surprised you had even managed to graduate, given that most of schooling had become somewhat of a joke.

FIVE YEARS AGO, MARCH, 2XXX:

It had been in the evening, the clear blue sky becoming ruby red and blood orange as you made your way out of campus. The air somehow smelled of sweet hay and gasoline, but you didn’t mind. There was hardly anyone out at this time, most students had made their way home already, and the only sounds were the moving cars of businessmen just trying to get back home.

There really wasn’t any reason to suspect anything to go wrong, this was a simple daily walk back home after school that wasn’t like any other. But then there had been a loud pop, an ever louder screech, and finally, you managed to whip your head in time to see a car tumbling through the air straight at you. 

There was hardly any time to think, even less to react, and the only thing you knew was that you were not going to survive.

You braced yourself, eyes clenching and body curling, your mind screaming because this was not going to be the way things ended. But before it could happen, before the car could come down upon you and squish you like a bug under a shoe, something picked you up and you were weightless.

Waiting for an impact that never came, the tears that were endlessly streaming down your face were suddenly stopped by rough, warm fingers smoothly wiping them away.

“Hey, it’s okay! You’re safe now!” a voice says softly to you, endearingly warm and comforting. “I’m here, don’t worry.”

“Am I… did I die?” you whisper, unsure if you even want the answer, your eyes remaining closed because you refused to open them up to some angel that could confirm your death. “God, what an embarrassing way to die!”

“Oh – um, no! You’re not dead! I promise!” the voice laughs brightly, just softly enough that you believe him and not be entirely horrified by the amused reaction. Your eyes crack open slowly, just barely peering back into the world, still half praying you weren’t dead. But all you saw was green. 

Green eyes, green hair, green clothes.

You blink, once, twice, realizing only then you were staring into the eyes of a boy about your age.

He had curly hair, freckles littering his face, and eyes that easily pierced through your very soul.

Without meaning to, your breath stopped, frozen in your lungs as you were captivated by a handsome man with a curving, beautiful smile. 

“See, I told you it was okay!” he teased you, head cocking to the side as he grinned largely.

The action itself seemed to strangle the strangest noise out of your mouth as you realized suddenly and immediately that your face was burning and all you could think was:

A cute hero rescued me, a cute hero rescued me, a cute hero rescued me, acuteherorescuedme!

“Sorry about that scare! I would’ve caught that car sooner, but I wasn’t paying attention to who was around!” the green boy apologized, bowing deeply in front of you in his apology. “There’s a commotion just up ahead, so I recommend you take the next road over.”

You nod numbly, unable to conjure even the slightest hint of your voice again as he stood up to his full length. He was average in height it seemed, taller than you, but still not towering. The hero looked behind his shoulder, those big green eyes focusing onto the distance, onto something you couldn’t even begin to imagine – or see, really. He blinked and turned back to you, smile gone but the gentle aura to him remained, but now his face, his mouth, was underlined with a sense of urgency and engagement to whatever sent a vehicle tumbling your way.

“Which train do you take home?” he asked, eyebrows relaxing from his stern position, as his smile picked up again. “I’ll take you closer to your station!”

“B train,” you manage to wheeze out – unable to be the reason why he was held up but also confused as to just what he could do to get you closer to the station that was at least a mile away from here.

“Perfect! I know where that is!” he laughs for just a moment, and before you could even ask if this was going to be some escorted thing – because you definitely did not need it – his arms were fastly secured around you, and suddenly you were weightless.

A cold wind rushed against your face, nipping at your nose, cheeks, and ears, sending your hair flying around – into your mouth! Oh, you were screaming! You were soaring through the skyline, being held by some hero you couldn’t name, and you were screeching at the top of your lungs.

Making the mistake of looking down, your arms were suddenly around his shoulders, your voice growing even sharper and louder as you squeezed against his body and refused to let go. His hands, despite the gloves, were warm on your back, and his soft chuckle warming you from nose to toes as he secured his grip on you.

“I got you,” he spoke, “I won’t let you go, I promise.”

Those words don’t exactly ease you, but there’s a comfort to the genuinity to his words. You nod nonetheless, your face buried deep into his neck. The cold wind continues to whip around you, the only thing sounding in your ears is the cruel whipping wind and quiet city below.

“I’m landing now,” he informed you, body shifting in the wind, and reflexively, you clung even tighter to him, expecting the similar stomach dropping motion of a roller coaster going straight down. “You’re – ack – c-choking me!”

The knowledge of that, hearing the strain and entirely unhidden sound of him choking against the current chokehold you had on him, you released him entirely with a shriek of your own. Was it a smart move? No, definitely not because you were how many hundreds – if not thousands – of feet in the air with a quirk that could not, and would not save you.

“It’s okay! I’m fine!” he quickly said, his arms shifting around your waist as you felt your body weight drop just the smallest bit. To which your focus landed to the concrete floor so far down, and you began screaming again. He panicked just a bit too. “Y-You’re okay too! We’re landing! We’re landing!”

Soon, but not soon enough, the concrete floor came underneath your feet, and you practically felt your knees buckle underneath you. The train station behind you was practically invisible, and you felt the floor come in contact with your knees, and you collapsed onto your hands and knees. You could feel the tears streaming down your face as you wheezed and panted, unable to move from your position. 

“Hey, look, we made it!” he laughed gently, probably being said in hopes that you would feel better. (It did make you feel slightly better, his laugh was light and pretty to listen to.) You could feel him approaching you, iron covered red shoes appearing before your vision. Looking up, you saw that the young hero was crouching, his face holding a wobbly smile that was earnest, worried, and full of unspoken hope. “I do need to get back, but before I do, are you good enough to be left alone?”

You blinked your soaked eyelashes at him, still largely unable to say anything at the cute hero in front of you who had a few scratches on his cheek, right below his freckles.

“Y-Yeah, um,” you say, your tongue cotten and lead in your dry mouth. “I-I’ll be fine, I think.”

The green eyed hero nods, offering you a hand and assisting you to your trembling legs, “That’s good to hear!” he chirped, his wobbly smile becoming a grand, bright grin. “You were really brave! I was impressed!”

Now, you were an idiot at times, but even you could spot a stupid lie. Still, hearing it said with such honesty, as if this hero who was no taller than five foot eight truly believed it, made something bubble in your chest, and soon you found yourself laughing.

“No need to lie to me, h-hero,” you manage to speak between stammering breaths, “thank you for saving me, though. I appreciate it.”

You grin crookedly at him, and to your utter delight, he reciprocates it.

“It’s the least I can do. I’d offer to take you home but… I’m not quite finished yet,” he says, and you can only nod, the conversation obviously reaching its last strides. You watch as he floats up, his eyes looking at you, but somehow focused how many miles away from where he had brought you from. “Stay safe?”

“I’ll try my best,” you agree to his question, hands clasping before your lap. “Finish the job quick, hero?”

He grins, “I’ll try my best.”

You feel a breathless sort of laugh escape you as you watch him beginning to shoot back up, but a sort of horror shoots through you as you rush forward, running right after him, hands cupping around your mouth as you scream:

“What’s your name?!”

The blur of green in the air freezes, and you stop running as you see green eyes and freckles focusing back onto you.

“Deku! My hero name is Deku!”

You stop at the curb of the street, eyes focused on the sky as the green eyed hero named Deku grins one last time before shooting off at a speed probably much faster than when he held onto you. The wind blows around you, and you can only feel the heat sitting on your cheeks and the way you’re smiling as you stare after his figure that's long, long gone.

“Deku...” you whisper to yourself, ignorant to the world of commuters beginning to appear at the station. “Thank you.”

And thus came the very apparent and obvious day in which you fell head over heels for Pro Hero Deku.

Now some people called you a stupid fangirl, obsessive stalker, and sometimes, yeah, you were obsessive and weird about your slight infatuation with a stranger. It was strange, you knew that! But you also knew that you had practically no chances of ever being able to woe the man behind the image of Deku because Midoriya Izuku practically existed as Deku 24/7.

After you graduated from high school, you were put into the same agency that was currently holding Deku. Without tooting your own rom-com obsessed horn too much, you fully expected to walk in and be handed Deku’s file as his PR manager and be able to thank him for not only saving you all that time ago, but also eventually sweep him off his feet. 

But your reputation preceded you well, probably too well, because the first day you entered the office and was handed your list of three clients to work with, neither one was for Deku. Being a PR manager for heroes was hard, a job that practically held no set hours because, unlike your typical celebrities, heroes had no type of privacy or protection. They were constantly under the spotlight, being viewed by adoring fans and scornful critics. Your job served as the first line of defense for heroes against the public, and there were some heroes that were quite hilariously easy to work for because they were genuinely good.

The older PR managers typically held the quieter, easy tempered, or less combat heavy heroes. These heroes typically never had a bad thing said about them, their job was a glorified PA job but even less because there was no expected demands from the heroes they had to take in. Unless, of course, a hero wanted to do some sort of public event they hadn’t considered. 

But there were the louder, quick to temper, or the heavy combat heroes that while made you an insane amount of money, also brought you a near 120 hour work week because there was so much to do, so much to consider, so much to keep your eyes on. There was the constant slander, the people who hated the louder, quick to temper heroes because they didn’t like their attitude, completely disregarding that they had been unsafe and a liability the entire time the hero was dealing with them. The talk shows that took months to convince to allow for an interview because they heard false rumors, and so you have to practically wrestle a boa constrictor to get a measly five minute interview done. And then the combat-heavy heroes… no one would ever shut up about building damages and how this hero broke his nose while he was stealing a store! 

Not to mention having to have every single piece of social media on your phone, set to notify you whenever your clients names were brought up so that you could look at it. You’ve seen more than enough lewd drawings of your clients to last you a lifetime, enough fanfiction, and fan edits that left you with blazing cheeks and the need to never look at your client ever again. But mostly you checked each and every update because you were their first and only line of legal defense on these sorts of things.

You’ve taken down leaked nudes, fake news, and qualmed rumors and speculations.

It was hard.

So when you were shown to your desk on your first day and three files were handed to you, you were shocked to see the hero names you would be working with.

Dynamight

Phantom Thief

Shouto

Somehow, without having yet to speak with a single one of your now current clients, you knew that you were going to have your work cut out for you.

“Good luck newbie!” the woman who gave you the initial tour chirped, clapping you on the back. “You got this!”

Good lord.

Without much to do other than reading through the three’s files, you realized that you already knew a bunch about two of three of your clients. DynaMight and Shouto were two heroes that you knew teamed up with and hung out with Deku a lot, both on-field and off-field if any of the out of costume pictures said anything. Because of their connection with Deku, you had at one point learned a bit about them.

You knew that Shouto was a crowd favorite. He was tall and sweet and a complete airhead at the best moments despite him being smart. Controversy still surrounded his character, despite all the good he did, because of the past history that was brought out about his father Endeavor and his brother Dabi. The country couldn’t figure out where they stood in terms of that reveal. Endeavor did a lot before the reveal, and continued to rise up to everything in his path despite the skeletons in his closet being thrown out for the world to see. They neither forgave him, nor hated him, they only watched and waited. Then Dabi, of course, was seen as a could-have-been version of Shouto, and many tried to ask if he was really a hero and not actually siding with the League. After all, why on Earth would he be defensive of his father too?

The public had an unmoving image of Shouto based on anything but who he was as an individual, and you decided immediately that it would be your job to fix that. He was also, after all, a dear friend of Deku, so you’d do anything.

Phantom Thief was your easiest of the three clients. A relatively well mannered man who was kind and a bit weird in a fun way. He had a great sense of self and was a reliable person on the field. He made a great hero, but you could see the way his spirit blazed with an unspoken rivalry between him and the other two of your clients. Well, it seemed like he was the best until his former self appointed rivals came into the picture, but that was hardly ever, and according to Shouto, he was way worse back in their first year. 

The greatest scandal he’s had so far in your three years of working at their agency was the one time he was lied to about a quirk and accidentally copied a woman's quirk that gave her the ability to change her cup size. Safe to say that Phantom Thief accidentally broke a few buttons on his shirt and was unable to stop civilians from snapping pictures. 

But of course, the one that had you practically crying yourself to sleep nightly for more than one reason was Dynamight.

You’d known about him the moment you looked up Deku on your phone.

They were practically a hero duo in everything but name. They were always seen doing the same things together, whether that be on patrol together or maybe getting dinner, most of their top recorded fights were done with each other by their sides. You had also learned that they were childhood friends, and you practically vibrated at the thought that even though Deku was not your client, the chances of meeting him were still astronomically high.

There was no way you wouldn’t not meet Deku!

But you were wrong, so very, very wrong.

Turns out the hero duo in everything but name meant that Dynamight refused to let Deku be anywhere near him in the agency – the very small amount of time they spent in here. The few times they were in the same room, Dynamight absolutely refused to be interrupted because that was their paperwork hour. You had only ever been blessed with seeing green curls turning the corner as Dynamight gripped your forearm, refusing to let you follow.

“Like hell I’ll let you distract the shitnerd,” he stated simply, his red eyes narrowed as he stared down his nose at you. You opened your mouth, ready to defend your not so innocent intentions. “I’m not stupid, so don’t pretend like you won’t try anything.”

Your jaw snapped shut.

Safe to say that you couldn’t do anything about Deku so long as Dynamight was around.

But Dynamight as a client was exhausting to put it kindly.

There were so many opinions and thoughts and issues and praises coming from everywhere. Hell, even the fucking Americans and westerners had caught wind of the Wonder Duo at one point and while you were well knowledgable on their opinions on Deku, the ones on Dynamight were the ones that you had to focus on now.

People still called him a villain, so many unhappy with the fact that he still screamed and cursed and threatened. There were many conspiracy theories that he was working with the long dead League of Villains. They turned their nose up at the fact that he was childhood friends with Deku, claiming that no way an asshole like him could have ever been friends with him. And of course the bullying revelation that had come out shortly after your debut. 

That had been a trip, one that had you even shocked as Dynamight approached the table in front of the media, his body calm and composed. You had watched as he simply said he owed nothing to the media, that he had already done all that he could to deserve his atonement and deserve Deku’s forgiveness. He had spoken clearly, concisely that it wasn’t any of their damn business as to what he did, and if he apologized to them, the unaffected, the ones that had nothing to do with his early years of bullying Deku, of his previous weakness and insecurity, it would be a waste of his breath. 

It isn’t to them he should ever be apologizing to anyways.

You had watched as he stood up, face calm, and hands shoved into his pockets as he stood and walked away despite the screaming reporters. You had wanted to stay longer, have your own hand in damage control, but a swoop of green came in and Deku was at the microphone eyebrows furrowed as he pointed a finger at them all and said that his past with Kacchan was between him and Kacchan only, and his decision to forgive Kacchan were his and only his.

You didn’t hear the rest, didn’t even get the option to hear the way the hero you loved defended the hero you worked for – his childhood friend.

No.

Dynamight had grabbed your elbow and dragged you out of the room with him, the metal doors clanging closed the moment fierce green eyes met yours.

You watched in the company car as Dynamight looked outside the window, one elbow on the doorframe holding his chin; his gaze focused sharply on nothing but the passing sidewalk. Had it not been for the way the hand on top of his lap trembled, you would have thought he was perfectly okay.

Neither one of you talked about that again.

But just because you didn’t talk about it again, didn’t mean the world was the same. People claimed he brainwashed Deku, others demanded that Deku beat the shit out of Dynamight. You knew that Dynamight would want nothing to do with this, but you would stay in the office (an almost useless, empty office as most PR managers did their business at home) for hours long after you were supposed to be gone, practically arguing with someone who only existed behind a screen and didn’t even care that much – but you couldn’t stop.

Seeing Dynamight’s shaking hand had really done a number on you.

“The hell are you still doing here, eyelashes,” Dynamite asked from the dark entrance of the floor. “Go home already, don’t waste your time.”

You had startled at the initial intrusion, but you immediately relaxed seeing the smudged paint around red eyes and blond hair. You barely kept your gaze on him before turning back to your computer and continuing your argument.

“I’m not wasting my time, I’m doing my job,” you remark, eyes squinting at your keyboard because your vision is definitely blurry. “I’ll be heading out soon anyways.”

“God you’re fucking annoying and stubborn!” Dynamight barked, the heel of his hand slamming into his forehead. “This is exactly why I won’t introduce you to the fucking nerd!” 

“What?!” you shriek, suddenly looking at your client as if he had personally attacked you – and in a way he did. “What do you mean you won’t introduce me to Deku because of that?! I’ve already met Red Riot, Chargebolt, Cellophane, and Pinky through you!”

“Yeah, because they’re not stubborn idiots too!” Dynamight accuses, jamming a gloved finger at you as he begins stomping your way. You startle, your chair shooting backward as the explosion hero makes his way towards you at alarming speed.

“What are you—?!” you shriek, hands flailing about as he grabs you by the collar of your distressed shirt.

Dynamight lifts you up to your feet as if you were a sack of flour and you grasp onto his forearm.

“I might tell you that you’re the most annoying and stubborn bitch in the world, but you’re not worse than fucking Deku,” Dynamight sneers, his red eyes narrowed and stern. “I’m not going to let you meet him until you learn how to give or you’ll hurt him, and I’m not going to be part of any reason as to why he gets hurt again.”

Your jaw dropped, clearly offended, but you closed it just as fast; the weight of his words made you a bit sad, even for just a bit.

“You’re kinda cute when you care for Deku, you sure I’m his biggest fan?” you tease, grinning at the hero to which he rolls his eyes.

“Shut the hell up and go home already; it’s annoying seeing you fight a losing battle that’s none of your damn business,” Dynamight simply said, putting you back onto your feet and blocking out your desk. 

“I’ll go home on the condition that for my birthday you at least consider introducing us!” you say, unwilling to move from your spot. “I’ve been working for you for three years! You’ve kept me away for three years!”

Dynamight’s stare didn’t even shift the slightest millimeter, his red eyes unamused as you groaned in grief and annoyance.

“I’m stubborn? Have you met yourself?!” you grumble snatching your jacket and purse from the hook on your cubicle and shoving them on. “My names God of Explosion Murder: Dynamight and I am Stubborn™ but will never admit it.”

You continued mocking your long time client and most definitely friend if you dared to say so, and dragged the heel of your foot all the way to the elevator to which you were joined by Dynamight. The trip down the elevator is silent, and you keep your gaze locked on the closed doors, unwilling to even look at the hero next to you.

Soon enough, the elevator reached the ground floor, and you got ready to walk out.

“I’ll consider it,” Dynamight said as the elevator doors opened. “Also, fucking stop calling me Dynamight, Bakugou’s fine.”

He walked off the elevator with his hands shoved into the pockets of his pants.

“Thank you, Bakugou!” you shriek, your lungs failing you at the thought of finally being introduced to Deku! You hadn’t moved from your spot from the elevator, your chest hammering with the thought of getting to meet Deku.

“Don’t get your hopes up, you’re still irritatingly stubborn,” Bakugou merely calls over his shoulder before lifting his hand in a halfhearted wave before stepping out of the glass door.

That brought you back to reality just a bit and you scowled, knowing you would have to go beyond and above to prove that. 

But you see, there were many reasons to cry about having Bakugou as your client. Besides the stinkhole of his previous bullying, people just were not understanding his typically prickly exterior. You had to go head to head with reputation tarnished, had to slap fangirls away who demanded that Bakugou degrade them where they stood. It was hard to not be stubborn as not only his PR manager but his friend, and in less than a month, still plenty of time before your birthday, you had already grown irritated of the meeting-Deku-card he waved over your head.

“Mei, if I have to go any longer than this, I will die and hope I am reborn as Deku’s new guardian angel,” you pouted, chin pressed against a cold metal tabletop. Your hands being used as glove models for one of your best friends Hatsume Mei. “It’s first of all impossible getting anywhere near him with his guard dog Bakugou literally stopping me whenever I’m within a ten foot radius! And then I’m not even sure what will happen when we do meet again! Would I even be able to talk to him?!”

“Why wouldn’t you? You talk to all my babies with me! There’s practically nothing you can’t do,” Mei laughs, smacking you against your back before returning her intense gaze back to the gloves. “Deku’s uh… I actually can’t remember him but I’m sure he’s a great conversationalist! I think he helped me with the Sports Festival my first year.”

 “That was Iida,” you laugh, wiggling your fingers as Mei demanded. “You’re so bad with names and faces, I’m impressed you know mine.”

“You saved my baby, of course I remember you,” Mei turned her grin towards you, “but come on, why can’t you get with him besides this Bakugou guy?”

“Well, he’s just like Bakugou! He’s practically married to his job! Their schedules basically match together perfectly! There’s literally only three hours a day while they’re on the job that they’re not together! And that’s when they patrol their own parts of town because there’s hardly any activity they don’t need to be attached by the neck.” You explain and rant, your cheeks puffing as you stand up and allow Mei to run further tests on the glove. 

“Sounds like you gotta become a villain to woo this hero guy, huh,” Mei spoke, eyes focused on the glove as you pointed a finger at the far wall and watched as a beam exploded from the fingertip and pierced through the steel wall like butter. “Too bad you’re a goody two-shoes or else I could make you some serious villain gear and make you a fearsome villain to then prove that Hatusme Mei’s babies and creations are untouchable and the best in the world! Muah-ha-ha-ha!”

You know her words are more joking than serious, but that doesn’t stop your eyes from widening. Your body shifts over to where she was standing and you screech pointing at her and just narrowly missing setting off the laser again. 

“THAT'S IT!”

“What’s it?” she asked, completely confused.

“You have to make me a villain!” you exclaim, rushing over to Mei, who is eagerly waiting for her babies returnal especially since it ran perfectly. “You have to make me near-invisible gear that can keep me going toe to toe with Deku until I can seduce him!”

“You want to turn evil?” Mei questions, finger pressing quizzically to her chin. “That doesn’t seem right.”

“I am definitely not villainous to pull that off, but like I pretend to be a villain so that he talks to me and we can like get to know each other!” you exclaim, you’re unable to keep from hopping up and down on your feet, your grin unfathomably bright. “It's practically a romcom in the making!”

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” Mei laughs, altering the band of fabric around your waist. “You do know heroes and villains hardly speak? It’s more like… ‘I’m more powerful,’ ‘No me!,’ ‘No, ME!’”

“Um, I’m pretty sure that’s not true, but whatever! I’ll figure out a way!” you continue on unaffected because this plan was genius! Especially if you had Mei in your corner?! Her recent development of not using such… steampunk designs made her creations elusive and dangerous to own. Hence why she was an extremely sought out manufacturer, by villains and heroes alike. “And if I can go toe to toe with Deku of all people, you’ll know that you and your babies are the undeniable best!”

“Hm, that is promising,” Mei agrees with a nod as she forces you around. “Is this Deku guy all that good?”

“He’s the one you made the iron soles for!” you chirp and watch as the recognition and challenge spark immediately in Mei’s yellow eyes.

“Oh,” Mei chuckles, turning away from you and looking at her pile of made babies. “This would be good.”

“So we have an agreement?” you grin excitedly. 

“Give me a month, and we’ll have your debut!”

Fuck Bakugou for thinking you weren’t good enough!

.

.

.

You hadn’t expected the initial phases of villainy to be quite as hard as it was, if you were being honest. The late nights at Mei’s personal lab made sure to keep your plans a solid secret, but you had to prepare for the wild range of what Deku’s quirk entailed.

There was smoke, something you were already used to working in because of Bakugou and his quirk. You’ve navigated quite a bit in his smog, and as long as you knew where you were, you would be fine. 

There was also that danger sense, which allowed him to know when things were coming �� something that shouldn’t be too big an issue considering you weren’t actually attempting to extract danger onto him. 

Blackwhip was a big issue. How far or how much could you do if he even grabbed a hold of you. With sleuthing and the help of Mei having files on everyone's quirks, you were able to find information that blackwhip was a creation made of energy. Meaning that Mei was now making some type of destructing material to lessen the energy of the quirk, allowing for you to escape should he attempt to capture you this way.

Float was stopped by having most of your fights occur within a confined area, which was needed for you anyways! You didn’t need to be caught by anyone else but him! You didn’t actually need to land in jail – you would prefer to not be handled by anyone but Deku, actually.

Then of course the stupid superstrength and superspeed, both of which you knew you could handle with your quirk. You’ve been head to head with people with quirks similar to that before, and you knew your quirk was tricky enough that you’d manage to slip right past his fingers just fine. After all, you knew full and well that the Deku who took down S class villains was worlds quicker than F class villains – aka you.

You would be fine.

But today was day one, first of how many days it would take to get Pro Hero Deku, aka Midoriya Izuku to fall in love with you. 

You were dressed in a black and purple bodysuit that was definitely not inspired by Shego from Kim Possible’s costume. Your hair was dyed purple by a special spray Mei created that would be washed out by the end of the day, but wouldn’t ever give away that it was fake. You wore a mask over your eyes, and grinned seeing that you couldn’t see a fleck of color on your irises. 

Perfect.

And with far too much confidence, nauseating excitement, and unjustified attitude, you marched down towards your first spot, ready and adopting the identity of who you were about to become.

Mirage.

It was time to act. Deku and Dynamight were on different patrol routes right now, and you sent your threat, readying for the moment for the man in green to come in with the desire to stop you. With the very real threat of stealing every puppy within the tristate area being broadcasted within the area unless and hero bests you, you waited for your savior to come and stop you.

“I am here to stop your villainous acts, you villain!” a voice shattered the silence just as it shattered your heart. You looked over your shoulder to see some hero you couldn’t name standing at the other stairwell entrance with his fists clenched and ready to fight. 

You groaned, shoulders crumbling with your well hidden disappointment.

“I wasn’t looking for you!” you exclaimed, pointing an accusatory finger at the flabbergasted hero who was just trying to figure out what was happening. “Where’s Deku?!”

“He’s – he’s not here yet,” he stammers, eyes wide. “It’s not his day anymore to patrol this area?”

“Aw fuck!” you complain, pouting at the realization that you had messed up. “Okay, I’ll be back later, please don’t come back. Bye!”

With a small wave, you easily stepped through the door to the stairwell next to you and left, your threat empty and the hero victorious despite not actually stopping you. And unfortunately, although you had wished and prayed even, this was not the last time a screw up like this would happen.

At the threat of destroying all the cats in the area, you had another hero show up, not Deku, and you groaned and left before they could even finish their call of stopping you.

You then threatened to poison the watering system, to which you found out that Deku was held up at another major villain threat in a different city. You groaned and stomped off after that. 

Then there was the time you swore you would increase the overall temperature of the city per one degree celsius should your demands not be made. Shouto answered that one and you immediately walked away the moment you saw the familiar head of red and white coming your way.

Time and time again you kept being caught by heroes you could not care about, being confronted by no names and nobodies. It was tiring, and Mei was beginning to sigh just the smallest bit whenever you showed up to try yet again.

But you weren’t a quitter!

You would win!

This was your last attempt at getting Deku to notice you.

After threatening to wrap all the citizens in the area with a giant froot by the foot, you were almost sad to say that the heroes ignored your cry for chaos and no one had come to check on you.

You sat outside the building you used as your trap for Deku, pouting into a hot dog that the neighborhood's grandma gave you because you looked like you needed something to eat. It’s a good thing you weren’t actually a villain or else they’d be fucked, you bitterly thought as you took another bite of your food. 

It had been a month of empty, no Deku appearances, and you were going to bite the bullet and pretend to be not stubborn just so stupid Bakugou of all people could introduce you.

You kicked your feet as you sat on the staircase, humming as you watched the empty streets bend with the wind. It was quiet, beautiful, peaceful.

“YOU!” a voice shrieked to your left, and you watched a pudgy, red nosed man racing over towards you, a flash drive clenched in his hands. “TAKE THIS! RUN! DON’T LET THE HEROES TAKE IT!”

You gawked at him, feeling the small plastic device being shoved into your hands as the man collapsed at your feet. You squeaked when you heard a voice yelling stop and you bounced to your feet, turned into the building and raced in.

Your breathing was erratic, heart in your throat as you raced up the stairwell, unable to begin to imagine what the hell the information on the flash drive held. You were practically hyperventilating as you reached the floor you had come to know extremely well, and you stood near the window with shaky hands and legs.

What did you take?!

“I’m going to need that back, I’m afraid,” a low smooth voice said from behind you, and you froze immediately. Old anxiety overcome by a new anxiety, one that made your stomach flip and blood burn. 

Turning around, you felt awestruck to see the one man you’ve been waiting for… for fucking years now, really, to appear before you, finally be there. In the flesh, completely, entirely. Your jaw dropped, your gaze looking down from your clenched hand that held the USB to the way that Deku looked at you with warm eyes that were underlined with steel that made you want to drop to your knees, confess everything, and beg to be his. God, he was so fucking tall. He had only been about five foot eight the last time you had actually talked, and now he was at least a foot taller. His teenager haircut was long gone, now replaced with his curls trimmed at the nape of his neck before filling out on top – not quite an undercut. He had more freckles now, surely. His skin just a bit tanner, a scar trailing from his cheek to his jaw. You knew there were more scars, just as you knew that there were dimples when he smiled.

You wanted to have him between your legs while you begged for mercy, holy shit.

Tucking the USB into your pocket, you tilted your head as you will yourself to relax.

“I went through all the trouble of getting it... I think if I’m going to hand it over quickly, I deserve to know what’s on it, no?” you tease, your confidence coming out of nowhere while a smile spreads ever so largely over your features. Deku’s eyes widened just a bit, shock overcoming his green eyes.

“I’m sorry, but that’s confidential,” Deku stresses, taking a step forward toward you. You click your tongue, taking a step backward while grinning.

“I don’t think that’s what I asked for,” you giggle as you watch Deku’s face go through an array of emotions before settling onto one – curiosity.

“What do you want?” he asked, apparently entirely ready to discuss any and all terms and conditions with you.

“Honestly?” you reply, tapping a gloved finger to your chin as you ‘think.’ Deku, however, nods. His stance relaxing, becoming one of preparedness but not the takedown he had previously entered with.

“A date with you.”

You watch as Deku’s eyes slam wide open, his jaw dropping immediately and he stammered. Oh, how your heart soared and how you felt giddy and wonderful as he seemed to slip and slide on his own tongue!

“A-A date?!” he ends up almost shrieking, his head shaking left and right. “T-That’s a total lie! You can’t possibly – well, no! Please tell me the truth!”

But you were giddy, practically drunk off the fact that you were making the most powerful hero in the world blush like a little schoolboy. You suddenly were on the offensive, stepping towards your hero who was much larger than you with power and drive behind each step. And it must have been the way you stared him down, the way you walked towards him at blank range with such brimming confidence that Deku takes a step back. But it’s something that makes you want to laugh as the heel of his foot gets caught on a raised tile, and you watch the mountain of a man tumble to the floor.

You’re on top of him immediately, hands pressed to his shoulders, knee settling near his crotch with most of your weight so he got the idea to not do anything funny. The USB sits between your fingers, and you lean over his flushed face that looks up at you with wide eyes.

“Actually, I changed my mind, I know what I want,” you say instead, nose ghosting over his. “Everytime I decide to do something… naughty… I want you to be the hero on the case to stop me. You and just you.”

You lean in closer, so close that you could see the specks of gold in his green, green eyes.

Deku hasn’t spoken, and you’re pretty sure his chest isn’t moving as you press your breasts against his.

“Understood, De-ku?”

Your teeth tug at his bottom lip and let go as he nods.

“Good, good,” you grin, sitting up on his chest and taking the USB in your fingers and slipping it into his utility belt. “Take good care of that for me, I’ll see you next time, hero…”

You had only managed to flash a quick wave before disappearing through your usual door, hoping and praying to god that whatever the hell possessed you would continue until you reached Mei’s. It wouldn’t hit you until much, much later than you had stunned Pro Hero Deku speechless within the first meeting.

Hell, you thought giddily as you answered Bakugou’s call about how he probably just got into a bit of a messy situation, maybe you do have the potential to woo him like this. 

.

Thus truly began your descent as the villain Mirage.

.

It was quickly accepted and discovered that the moment you stepped into that costume and colored hair that you were the prey for Deku and Deku only. Most of your interactions with Deku occurred within buildings, and you used Mei’s gear to gain the final laugh each and every time to allow for you to escape. There were times, however, where you could be seen racing through the sky. Jumping from rooftop to rooftop as Deku followed after you, leaping, tumbling, and even catching you at times. 

You flirted with him heavily, allowing yourself to be caught so that you could bat your pretty lashes and press your chest against his. It didn’t matter how professional he was, how good at his job he was, Deku was a pervert – so obviously a pervert it made slipping away almost too easy.

But because you had the world-renowned, world known Pro Hero Deku as the only hero on your case, soon the small block who had to play victims to your horrendous crimes became only a small percentage of people who were watching your crimes. These near daily crimes (or inconveniences/botherings as the people on the internet say to defend you and your actions) are becoming both a worldwide sensation, and so, it took nothing for you to continue having Deku at your feet and the world chipped in. So you agreed to do interviews, forcing uneager reporters to do segments on you so that the hype behind you and Deku’s relationship grew.

You didn’t want him to leave you, not until you got what you wanted, and unless you were an idiot, you were nearly positive you were almost there.

Why would you say that?

Well, a few reasons.

The first came about a week after you had first met Deku again.

You had joyously gathered the means to create a machine to shave down an eighth of an inch of everyone's shoes in the entire country of Japan without their knowledge. You had ever so evilly explained that the point of this was to ensure that for a full day, everyone would feel off and unbalanced but would not know why.

You had said this, grinning widely as you turned around to see Deku standing there attempting to fight off a very amused smile. 

“I don’t think that would be all too evil, Mirage,” he called out to you, arms folding across his chest as he watched you set up the machine to do exactly what you said you would do.

“Mm, that’s what you say now, but just wait until you’re one of the losers stumbling around,” you say back, grinning as you turn around for just a second, wagging the knife at Deku from the distance. 

“Well, regardless, you know I can’t let you do that,” Deku laughs just slightly, and you grin, standing up.

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yes, so I’m going to have to ask you to stop right there.”

You giggle.

“Make me.”

You’re not sure what happens, but there’s dodging and weaving, spinning and sliding. You’re practically wheezing from how hard you’re laughing as Deku can not manage to land a finger on you with the help of Mei’s items and your quirk. It all comes to an end when instead of dodging, you throw yourself right at him, and Deku has not anticipated that. 

His eyes are wide open and you fiercely grin as he falls back onto the floor, unbalanced and only slightly frantic. You have the knife pointed at his neck, the dull blade sitting gently on his skin.

“So, Deku,” you taunt teasingly, your teeth burying into your bottom lip for just a moment at the sight of the dark flash in his green, beautiful eyes. “Tell me one thing, or I’ll continue on with my vile plans.”

“O-Okay?”

“Are you single?”

The second attempt came a few many weeks later. 

You had gathered about 75 tons of glitter bombs and were in the current process of making them one. You had plans of setting it off over Tokyo so that for practically the rest of eternity, the entire city would have glitter everywhere. The only thing is that you did have to glue the glitter bombs together because, well, no one made super giant ones.

“This is so annoying, there’s glitter everywhere, and I’m only ten glitter bombs in!” you complain to the ‘empty’ room but knowing full and well that Deku had appeared through the broken window at least five minutes ago.

“If it’s annoying to you, then shouldn’t you stop?” Deku replied and you grinned. 

He really couldn’t stay quiet, huh?

“Well, if it’s annoying to me, then that means every one of my victims will also find it annoying. Win-win situation.” you say, turning around towards him and winking. Facing back towards the glitter bombs you scowl, “stupid fucking glue gets everywhere, too!”

“Regardless, you know I can’t let you do that,” Deku said as leveled as he could although you swore you heard a laugh in his voice.

“Just try and stop me,” you reply back stone cold.

You stand up and watch as Deku stands up from the windowsill and sighs just a bit too heavily.

“Guess I have to,” he says and shoots out before you’re well prepared.

Typically, and probably in any other situation, this would have been the end. Pro Hero Deku had come at you with the speed and power as he took out any other Class F criminals, but unfortunately for him, and definitely fortunately for you that glue was EVERYWHERE.

Deku’s hand was stuck onto your arm, and your chest was glued to his stomach, and you swear you never quite got the strawberry Deku references until right now.

The perverted hero burned scarlet, his face practically simmering with heat as your body became undeniably stuck to his. You had to fight off the vindictive smirk, the practically snarling grin as you could feel something hot and heavy twitch at your hip.

“Fuck,” Deku wheezed.

“Fuck, yeah,” you grinned.

.

.

“WHAT?!”

.

.

Deku could not look you in the eyes for about 10 more interactions following that, but you counted that as a win. But undoubtedly, your starred and favorite memory of it all was something that occurred just last week of the current present events.

You had stood on top of a building, threatening the entire government of stealing (i.e., cutting off) the aglet of their shoes and sweaters and then removing all the laces so that it would result in their wasted time and entire humiliation!

“I don’t think most people even know what aglets are, to be honest,” Deku said from behind you. You turned around to see that he was standing there with an unsuppressed grin. “It’s not a good enough threat.”

You go unfazed by his judgement, choosing to instead bat your eyelashes and push your hair behind your ear.

“Not a good enough threat, and yet, you’re still here?” you tease, enjoying the way pink flushes to his cheeks.

“Where else would I be?” he says, and you have to ignore the way your stomach fills with butterflies. 

“You’re not cute when you flirt back,” you deadpan, biting your tongue harshly when he says ‘hey!’ “Enough chit chat, let me kick your ass now and then do what I need to do.”

Unlike probably what is 95% of the time, you made the first move today. 

You were on the offensive, jabbing and weaving, sweeping and punching. Deku’s green eyes were nearly black as he watched you, analyzing and taking in your movements, countering them all without so much of an issue.

“I still don’t get your quirk,” Deku grunted as his hand swiped at the empty air. “Why won’t you tell me?”

“So then you can turn me in to the government who are still salty about their aglets? I don’t think so!” you say with a laugh, rolling out of the way as Deku lunges forward. “Try again, baby, I have full faith that you’ll get it.”

Deku puffed out a chuckle and lunged again, his huge gloved hand swiping at you, with nearly accuracy despite your quirk being on. But… he wasn’t exactly perfect.

RIIIIIIIIIP!

Cold air hit your breast and your jaw dropped as your very exposed breast appeared before you and Deku. Pro Hero Deku had torn the breast of your costume, the costume that you purposefully did not wear a bra for because you had wanted this exact scenario to play out.

“DEKU!” you screech, pretending to be modest and covering your tit as Deku finally yanked himself out of staring at your breast and whipped around. 

“Oh my god, I am so sorry! I didn’t think that was going to happen! I didn’t even mean to look at your boob! It just sort of all happened too fast and it was very shocking! N-Not that you have an ugly boob or anything because actually I think you have a very great boob! But oh my god, I need to shut up please ignore me!” Deku spoke so fast in a matter of five seconds, and you couldn’t even tell him to come back as he sprinted away.

His ears burned red and you swore even as he was gone, you could still see the red of his ears illuminating the sky.

You laugh.

“What a perv.”

And so, we are back to the beginning.

Back to how you forced a local news channel to read your demands so that you could hopefully take your final bow as Mirage forever.

With the threat of having a machine that would make dogs bark at a frequency for hours on end until humans eardrums broke then bleed. You made your way to your typical building and hummed as you waited. 

The world outside was the same as always.

There were a few people out, a few cars driving through the street, and a few birds chirping here and there.

It was peaceful.

“Don’t you think the new reporter thing was a bit dramatic?” Deku chuckled from behind you.

You were used to him approaching like that, used to him trying to portray being elusive and cool. In your opinion, it just made him dorky.

“No such thing as being dramatic when I’m trying to go head to head with the greatest hero ever,” you respond back effortlessly. You spin on your heel and look back at Deku, who is leaning against a doorframe that he most definitely is slouching on so that the top of his head doesn’t hit the frame. “Hi, Deku.”

“Hi, y/l/n,” he says with a soft smile, one that's slightly victorious, one that makes your stomach knot in a pleasant way.

“Ah, you discovered my secret identity,” you observe, grinning as you begin approaching Deku. “Should I be scared?”

“Probably not, I don’t think I could do anything to you,” Deku sighs, pushing off the door frame and walking towards you too. “You’re pretty amazing, y/l/n.”

“Let’s prove that then,” you grin while zipping forward.

As if the both of you knew that this was the end of the line, the final confrontation, the battle this time was different. It was showy, flirty, full of spins and side steps, playing a game of cat and mouse while dodging and weaving. You laughed as blackwhip dissolved around your costume, and you frowned as he began using more of his power to get from point A to point B much quicker.

You’re not quite sure how it happened, what exactly you did wrong, or maybe Deku just finally figured out the pattern you used for your quirk because suddenly you were being tackled from behind. You shrieked as the two of you went down, his body flushed on top of you, his chest pressing to your shoulders. 

The both of you were heaving, panting, completely out of breath from the five minutes you took playing around. He holds your wrists in one hand, pinned above your head, and the other one is on your waist. You were trapped beneath him, unable to move the absolute unit of a man above you, arms and hips weak to his weight. You shoved your hips up, attempting to shift some of his weight off you, but you froze as he choked on a breath by your ear.

Your ass was pressed against something hard, thick, and hot.

Oh.

Ohhh fuck.

It was happening.

Holy fucking shit.

Your breathing hitches as you thrusted your ass up again, confirming you were grinding on what was definitely Deku’s hardening cock. And once again, Deku makes the prettiest, most embarrassed gravelly grunt at the back of his throat and you feel like every strand of resistance and strength snaps.

The hand on your waist pulls you even closer against his crotch, and there's lips pressing against your neck, and you absolutely lose it. 

He kisses your neck sloppily, teeth nipping at your exposed flesh, and you grind against him, moaning and thrusting back as your body feels like it's on fire. He wanted you! He wanted you and your plan to woo him worked!

“I’ve wanted this for so long,” you keen breathlessly. “Wanted you so badly, Deku.”

“Fuck,” Deku curses, his hips thrusting back against your clothed ass with power you couldn’t fucking wait to feel. “I wanted you too. Wanted you so badly, but didn’t think – holy shit.”

His hand that pins your wrists lets go of you, and moves to grab your jaw. You nearly fucking melt as his full lips slam against yours, and you moan as his lips move against yours. There’s something indescribable about how he’s kissing you, the want, the need, the months of suppressed tension bursting through every move and curve of his mouth. It doesn’t matter to you that you’re pressed up against the concrete floor, you feel like you’ve been placed into another world, an area where you can never come back.

Your arm reaches behind you and buries into his soft curls, you tug at them as your ass circles against his thrusting hips. His tongue slips into your mouth, and you whine at the hot, wet muscle in your mouth, and it sends your head spinning. You can’t take it anymore, you need him, want him flushed against your front.

“Can I fuck you?” Deku asks swollen lips pulling away from yours, his mouth frantic and trailing kisses up your cheeks and down your jaw. “Please, I wanna fuck you so bad. Wanna fuck you on the floor and against the wall. Can I make you mine?”

You nod your head frantically, unable to come up with the words to say in order to tell him yes.  

Deku laughs breathlessly and flips you over so that it’s your back against the floor now. 

And just like you want him to, Deku comes down to reclaim your mouth. Hot, open mouthed kisses, teeth tugging at your lips and hands grabbing your waist. His hands are huge against you filling up the space between your hip and your waist without an issue. Your legs wrap around his waist, feeling entirely small underneath him, but entirely ready to be fucked by him.

His lips move expertly against yours, teeth nibbling at your lips, mouth then sucking on your tongue. You can’t keep the continuous moans from leaking out, can’t keep yourself from staying quiet as your eyes flutter open and see green eyes so dark they look black, staring down at you with the intensity of a predator. 

You were his prey, and you would present to him at the drop of a hat.

His body is hot, heat rolling off of his hero costume in waves, making you feel like you were near burning against him. And the heat between his thighs sits at the bottom of your ass, thrusting up and grinding against you so that you don’t forget even for a moment that you are making him this way. 

“I always knew you’d have such a pretty moan,” Deku mumbles as his fingers find the zipper to your costume and begin to tug it down. His lips trail down your neck, biting and nipping at the newly exposed flesh. “Knew you’d look so pretty under me, waiting to be fucked into submission.”

The words spark something within you, your eyes fluttering as your hips grind just a tad bit faster and you whine. 

“Aw, is that what you wanted this entire time, y/l/n?” Deku asks, his grin pressed against your collarbone. “Wanted to be stretched out and fucked until you can’t anymore?”

“I want it,” you gasp, your fingers burying deep into his curls. “I want you, I want it, I want your dick in me already!”

“Not into foreplay?” Deku chuckles just a bit, tongue then tracing up your neck. 

“Oh I am,” you snap, fingers finding the zipper of his own costume. “You can find out later how much I’m into it, but right now, I have been wanting you for years, and you will not make me wait any longer!”

Deku only nods frantically, and it's a mess of limbs, sloppy kisses, and clothes as the both of you strip to nothing. 

Deku’s in between your legs, one hand pressed to the back of your knee, the other gripping what you believe is his dick because it makes everything in the world freeze as you see it. It’s huge, so thick that his hand wraps around it in a nice grip, and it long, curling up to his abs, curved and veiny. 

“Holy shit,” you squeak, your cunt already clenching at the thought of taking that in. 

“Are you ready?” Deku asks, the hand on your leg moving away for a moment as he cards his fingers back through his hair. “I don’t have a condom, though.”

“That’s fine, I don't care,” you dismiss his words, eyes too focused on the flush cock in his hand. “I don’t think I’ll live after you kill me with that anyways.”

Deku laughs just a bit, his dimples flashing as he leans in and kisses you deeply. You tremble underneath him, feeling so small pressed up against him, and you mewl when you feel the head of his cock pressing between your folds.

“Put it in,” you gasp, leg lifting and wrapping around his waist, “put it in! I want you to fuck me until I can’t walk, do you understand?!”

Deku nods, and with a sense of frantic need, his hand guides his cock into you.

It feels like you’re splitting in half. The girth of his cock stretching your walls out to the max, and he’s only going in. You scream loudly, both in pain and pleasure because it hurts so good.

“Take it, baby, take me all in,” Deku pants, his hips pushing out small, tiny thrusts to ram his cock further and further into your twitching cunt. “That’s i-it, holy fuck, that’s it! You’re taking me all the way in. F-Fuck… you’re so amazing! So fucking perfect!”

Tears are pouring out of your eyes, and your nails are tearing into his back, you sob slightly overwhelmed with his cock and the absolute pleasure of finally getting what you want and it being so much better than you thought. Your cunt throbs almost violently as Deku’s cock finally hits your cervix and your eyes roll to the back of your head as he thrusts in further, lips attempting to claim yours. 

“Fuck me, Deku,” you beg, hips beginning to slam and fuck up onto his cock. “Please! I need you!”

“Such a desperate little villain though,” Deku sighs, teasingly, giving you one strong thrust for good measure. It goes a long way though, the power behind his thrust and thighs promising you a bruised ass, thighs, and cunt makes your mouth water for more. “I need you to promise to never do anything like that again and be a good little manager for Kacchan.”

“W-Wha–”

“Be good and stop being Mirage, or else you won’t be fucked.”

There was no hesitation.

“Okay.”

And just like that, Deku’s soft smile curves into a knowing, fierce smirk, and you can do nothing as his hands press to the back of your knees and he begins thrusting his hips into you. And it takes you completely out of control. 

It’s a messy, frantic dance, your body holding onto his, your lips pressing against his, desperate and needy for his, and he is basically trying to imprint his body onto yours, the concrete, and the walls. Your bodies are so foreign to each other, and yet, when he fucks into you just a bit hard, just a bit faster, you come undone, back arching and toes curling as you sob his name.

It’s overwhelming to know that he can read you this well and for you to have never fucked him before. It’s empowering to see that he likes every forced and involuntary squeeze and clench of your cunt. He loved when your nails dug into his skin, raking their existence against the plane of broad muscles and scars. 

Deku curses your name as you clench around him, his hands moving to your jaw so that he can lift your face to kiss him just so. He kisses you with a heated passion, a need that strips your entire being bare, and his hips slam so loudly against you, the slicked wetness is squelching and slapping with every grunt and moan.

In and out his cock goes, and you praise him and his cock.

You praise him for making you feel so good, for stretching out your pussy with that fat cock of his. You beg for more, and more, and more. You want every snap of his hips to send new colors to your vision, and every echoing squelch of your meeting, sloppy sexes only adds to the blabbering, unmanaged sentences from your lips. 

“Harder, faster, more!” you beg, practically wailing against his shoulders, needing him more and more. The concrete hurts against your back, but you don’t care. You don’t care if he breaks your back, it’s a fall you’ll take. “Don’t hold back! Don’t you dare hold back!”

“Fuck, you’re crazy,” Deku gasps, his sweaty brow burying into your cheek. “I won’t though, I won't. Be ready, I’m not sure if you can take it.”

Before you can snap back that you can in fact take it, Deku’s weight falls heavier onto you and the angle shifts just slightly, and your words are ripped right out of your throat for a pitched, window shattering screech. Deku fucks into you with a new power, some untapped strength as greenspark falls from his skin as he ruins you for anyone ever again.

Your voice begins to scream out, the feeling of his vicious, thick cock snapping into you, shoving your shoulders further and further into the concrete was sending your head spinning. Your body is convulsing as he fucks you with new vulgar need and strength. But before you could scream your praises, Deku’s fingers shove into your mouth, and his other hand wraps around your neck, silencing your words and noises as he fucks up into you again and again and again.

“So loud, angel,” Deku smirks, fingers stroking and pinching your tongue as saliva pours endlessly from your mouth. His voice isn’t strained however, doesn’t have any indication that he’s out of breath or ready to tap out and that nearly makes you go insane. “I can’t wait to see everything that makes you look like this… you’re so pretty when you’re getting fucked.”

Your head is spinning, the heated tightness in your core clenching and throbbing as his conquesting cock never once stops or lessens. It just grows and grows and grows. His cock twitches in you, and your eyes roll to the back of your head as he lets out a deep moan. 

“Such a good and wet cunt you are,” Deku gasps as you gag against his fingers that press roughly against the back of your tongue. Your vision feels hazy, but you feel like you’re on cloud nine as his hand on your throat opens and closes, demonstrating his power over you. “I’m so glad you went through all this hard work to get me to fuck you.”

You can’t speak, so you nod desperately, you were so happy you did this too. 

Your hips buck up into him with sheer stubborn drive to get him to toss his head back and moan, you wanted to see him unhinged too. Your eyelashes flutter, as his hands remove themselves from your face, and they move to your hips to help you out. But the building tightness and demanding need in your cunt was growing louder, hotter, completely undeniable. Your teeth sinking against his skin as you whimpered loudly, absolutely pathetically as you shifted faster, fucking against him harder.

“I-I’m so close,” you manage to moan out, and a sharp escape of air comes from his nose at that revelation.

Deku nods, his head moving so that his forehead rests against yours as he looks deep into your eyes. “I need you to look at the way your belly bulges while I fuck you before you cum, I want you to watch it bulge as you cum.”

You whimper, the strain in your neck almost insufferable as you peer down at your hastily exposed stomach, and you nearly faint at the pornographic, near-insane image of your stomach bulging with his hammering monster of a cock. And just like that, the tight heat in you snaps without a hitch, and you come tumbling down from the heights of your building orgasm. White heat and light spread through your body, your jaw slacking as you moan loudly, screaming his name as you convulse against him, body entirely limp. Deku, who was barely hanging by a strand, completely loses it when your core clenches like a vice against him. 

Hot, thick ropes of cum spurt from his cock, his heavy, shaking gasps the only thing you can hear as he fucks into you once, twice more for good measure he collapses onto his forearms above you. It’s hot, almost too hot as he lays on top of you, the sticky fluid of his cum radiating against your already blazing walls, and for a bit, there’s silence.

Deku is the first to move afterward, and you whine as he pulls his cock out of your sore, abused pussy. You make a noise of curiosity then fear as Deku spreads your legs even more open and moves so that his head is face to face with your cum filled pussy.

“What are you–?!” you screech as Deku takes a lick out of your dripping cunt.

“Fuck, this does taste good,” Deku smirks as he once again licks your overstimulated pussy and you sob. “Besides, who said we were done?”

.

.

.

.

.

bonus! 

“Everyone, this is my girlfriend y/l/n y/n!” Izuku happily introduced you to his group of friends.

“What the hell?!” Bakugou screamed, thrusting a finger at you and all you did was laugh.

So much for not being stubborn, huh.

[smells-like-mettaton]

soriel, 1 (chocolate) for the ask game?

Like a Box of Chocolates

Rating: G Word Count: 2734 Read on AO3: here

---

"Ok. I brought a few choices," Sans said while sitting with his back to the door. He pulled a plastic sack full of chocolate and chocolate-adjacent treats out from under his shirt.

"Oh, you did not have to do that." The voice behind the door sounded embarrassed.

"It's no big deal." He shrugged instinctively, though she wouldn't be able to see it. "Not like I candy things like this for you very often."

The lady laughed, even though the pun was a stretch. She was a great audience like that.

"I cannot argue with that. After all, it is the choco-thought that counts."

Sans let out a wheeze. Man, she had him beat in the bad jokes department. He needed to up his game.

"What can I say, I'm a sweet guy." That joke would work better if she could see his wink.

"You certainly are, my friend."

Sans blinked. He hadn't been prepared for the genuine warmth in her voice. Now he felt something like a melted chocolate himself.

"Uh. You'd better wait and make sure I didn't pick out garbage before you say that." He chuckled nervously and spread out the chocolates in the snow.

"Alright. Hit me with your best choco-shot."

He laughed out loud at that one too. She could really squeeze some mileage out of chocolate puns.

"First off we have the MTT-Brand Chocolate Mettaton. Which is exactly what it sounds like. Chocolate in the shape of everyone's favorite robot superstar." He scanned the back of the wrapper. "Contains sequins and glitter, but it's still monster food, so probably won't cause any more indigestion than Temmie Flakes. Still, wouldn't blame ya if you passed on that."

The lady laughed. "I do not know this 'Mettaton,' but he sounds like someone…"

Her voice trailed off, the way it always did when she neared a personal topic. It seemed to be happening more and more often lately. Sans didn't know if that was a good sign, or if he needed to do a better job of distracting her.

"Someone I know would have liked that," she finished clumsily.

"Welp. It's yours, then." He attempted to slide it under the door.

Attempted. The thick block of chocolate wouldn't fit through the narrow space.

"What are my other options?" The lady asked, not seeming to hear his failure.

(Or just ignoring it. The way they always ignored things they didn't want to acknowledge.)

Oh well. He'd deal with that later, if she wanted to.

He picked up the next box and rattled it. It looked thin enough to fit under the door.

"I think this one's called, uh, pocket?” He couldn’t tell for sure, since the box was labeled in a language he didn’t recognize. Where did Alphys get this stuff? “A pal gave it to me. They’re like chocolate-covered sticks, I think."

"Not precisely what I was looking for, but I would love to try it regardless," she said. "If I am allowed to have both options, I mean. If not, I should probably stick with the Em-Tee-Tee."

Sans bit back a snort. So she hadn't heard after all. That made this a lot more awkward.

"Do you wanna hear the other options first? Wouldn't want ya to have any regrets."

"Oh! There are more?"

She sounded as surprised as a kid finding an extra fry in the bottom of their Grillby's bag. He couldn't help grinning.

"Yup. Next up is a chocolate spider donut—”

“Made by spiders, for spiders, of spiders?” The voice seemed on the verge of laughter again.

His eyesockets widened. “Uh… welp. Guess you don’t need the whole spiel, huh?”

“There is a spider bakesale right around the corner from my home,” the lady explained. “I believe they are saving for a… ‘heated limo’? To travel safely through Snowdin. I wish I could help them, but I did not think to take much gold when I…”

Another dead end. That was fine, Sans could piece together enough. Not that her personal life was any of his business, anyway.

“If it makes ya feel any better, they really raked me over the coals for this one.”

“It does not!” came her quick reply. “I only asked for a chocolate bar. Not for you to spend money that you need on me.”

Geez, this lady was too good for him. As if Sans ever really went out of his way for anyone.

Except Papyrus, but he was family. And sometimes Grillby, if he felt bad about failing to pay his tab for too long. And Alphys, but he owed her for screwing off after space-time blew up in their faces.

And now, the lady behind the door. The lady he didn’t owe anything to, except a few good laughs.

Who was he kidding? Those laughs were more important to him than anything.

“Eh, it just cost me one day of selling ‘dogs. Donut worry about it.”

“Very well. Since it was for a good cause, I will not grill you any further. But please tell me that was the last chocolate you purchased for me.”

“It’s the last one I purchased.” He grinned. While she couldn’t see his expression, she must have heard the but in his voice.

“Please tell me you did not steal any chocolate for me.”

“Geez, lady, what do you take me for? I’d never commit petty thievery.”

“Well, that is reassuring.”

“Yep. Gotta save room for the real high-dollar crimes. Like the illegal hot dog stand.”

The voice behind the door went silent. He wished he could see her face now more than ever. His own grin slowly slid from his skull.

“Everyone knows about it,” he reassured her. “If the King really wanted to shut me down, he’d have done it a long time ago.”

“Oh, I am not judging you for that. I am sure the law is rigged against you if the King has any say in it.” Her voice was surprisingly bitter.

His real problem was that he couldn’t ever find the necessary documents to get licensed in food preparation. His birth certificate was presumably in whatever alternate dimension his old man had blasted them out of.

“You are judging me for something, though,” he realized. The chill of the snow seeped into his bones, but he didn’t dare adjust his position. Somehow he felt that if he moved, she would disappear.

“I am not. I was only thinking about…” She sighed. “It is complicated. There was a time when I could have helped you, but it is long past.”

“Help me? Look, lady, the ‘dog stand is fine. Promise. Better than fine, since I don’t gotta pay taxes on it.”

She chuckled at that.

“Very well. Forgive a silly old lady for worrying.”

“Done.” He smiled, settling back against the door more comfortably.

He should’ve known she’d have a problem with his illegal activities, though. She was a classy lady, and he was… him. Why had he even brought it up? It wasn’t a great joke. Did he really just want her to know?

Eh, whatever. She wasn’t mad, so no harm done, right?

“I would like to know how you acquired this other chocolate, if it was not through your sticky fingers.” She sounded like she was grinning.

“Huh? Oh.” He blinked and dug out the last chocolate of the bunch. Blue dusted his cheeks. “QC—that’s the lady who runs the shop in town—gave ‘em to me for free. They’re called, uh, kisses.”

QC had a knowing look in her eyes when she’d offered the bag of chocolates to him. It was his own fault for implying they were for a girl. Everyone already thought he screwed around in the woods on his shifts, and with the way gossip travelled in a small town, everyone at Grillby’s would be asking about his girlfriend tonight.

“Kisses,” the lady behind the door echoed. “This is not one of your jokes, is it?”

“Not this time. Sorry to disappoint.” His grin felt too tight. “They’re, uh, tiny chocolates. Kinda cone-shaped? QC makes ‘em herself, so they’ve gotta be good.”

“Oh.” Oddly, the voice did sound disappointed. Sans couldn’t imagine why. Not like he could kiss her through the door, even if he had lips. And even if there was some unlikely timeline where she wanted a kiss from him.

He wanted to thump his skull back against the door, but there was no point in worrying her like that.

“In that case, I will take the kisses. They will be perfect for…”

He was sure she would leave it at that. Cover up with some non sequitur.

So his eyesockets went wide when she said, “for the anniversary of my child’s passing.”

“Oh.” He let out a strangled little laugh. “I—geez, I’m sorry. If I’d known—”

“You would have what? Spent even more money on this silly old lady, who cannot even leave to buy her child’s favorite chocolate?” Her voice was firm. “No. I thought you deserved to know, after the trouble you went to, and because you shared your own secret with me today.”

“My ‘dog stand is hardly a secret,” he said, still feeling a little shaky. She had a kid? A dead kid?

Well, who in the Underground didn’t have skeletons in their closet? Metaphorically or literally. She was still his best friend. If she wanted his pity, she would’ve said something sooner.

“Regardless,” she said. “It is in the past. Forget it, if you wish. But please do not treat me any differently.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he said sincerely. If there was one thing he was good at, it was maintaining the status quo. “So, uh. These chocolates. I kind of wanted you to have all of ‘em, if that’s alright with you.”

“It would be rude to refuse a gift, would it not?” She sounded like she was smiling again, to his relief.

“There’s just one problem. Uh. Don’t think they’re all gonna fit under the door.” He rapped on the stone surface with his knuckle for emphasis.

“I did not assume they would. The recipe I gave you before hardly passed through.”

Sans blinked. “Then you—huh?”

“I will open the door just a fraction. It can only be done from the inside.” She paused, like she was gathering a breath. “I would ask that you do not look. I promise I will not peek, either.”

Sans’s ribcage tightened. She was going to open the door. She would be right there, with no stone between them.

The thought opened a desperate floodgate within him. He hadn’t realized just how badly he wanted to see her, to know her, to live off of more than just scraps and unfinished sentences.

She once had a child. She had some kind of beef against the King. She wanted to give charity to spiders, but didn’t have enough money. All these facts he filed away, tucking them into the grooves in his ribcage.

It would be enough. He’d duct tape those gates shut again, if he had to. He wasn’t going to betray the trust she’d shown him.

“Got it. You don’t wanna be smitten by my good looks, I understand,” he joked.

(He had a feeling it would be the other way around, if anything. Not that quality of jokes translated to quality of appearance—he would know. If it did, he’d have biceps like his brother.)

“It would be tragic. Much too high a price for you to handsome chocolate to me.”

“Heh, I’m sure you’re a door-able too. But I’ll keep my sockets shut, since our friendship hinges on it.”

That got a raucous laugh out of her, the kind that started off high-pitched and quickly became something of a snorting bleat. That sound was sweeter than chocolate to him.

...Man, his pals at Grilby’s would be right to dunk on him. He was a massive dork.

“Alright,” she said once she caught her breath, “if you are ready, my friend…”

“Yeah.” He nodded. “Better choco-late than never, huh?”

That one only got a snort, but he wasn’t sure if that was because the pun fell flat, or because she was nervous. As far as he knew, she hadn’t been outside of the Ruins in years. And here she was, trusting a sentry—someone whose job it was to keep a look out—to turn a blind eye.

It was a good thing he’d never been good at his job.

Stone ground against stone with a dramatic rumble. His eyesockets stayed shut. Warmth emanated from somewhere near his shoulder, and he lifted the bag of chocolates.

His small hand brushed a large fur-covered one. A shiver trailed down his spine. One small touch shouldn’t have done so much to him, but—but she was real. She was more than just a voice behind a door. Which he knew, but knowing and feeling could be worlds apart at times.

She took the bag, and the moment was over. But the door didn’t close.

“My dear friend,” she whispered, her voice sounding closer than ever. “Would it be presumptuous to ask another favor of you?”

“‘Course not. Glad to do a favor for my favor-ite person.” He kept his tone light, unaffected by the swirling emotions inside him.

“If I could… oh, dear, this is embarrassing.”

He resisted the urge to open his eyes, to see what look might be on her face.

“It has simply been so long… may I hold your hand a moment longer?”

He felt the marrow heating within his bones.

“That all? I gotta hand it to ya, you made me think you needed an arm and a leg.”

She chuckled before awkwardly fumbling to grasp his hand again.

Heat poured from her palm into his phalanges. Aside from the fur, there were several spots of soft skin—probably paw pads. Was she a dog monster, like the Canine Unit in town? She didn’t make nearly enough dog jokes for that to be the case. Her laugh sounded more like a goat’s, but she obviously didn’t have hooves. Maybe she was some kind of chimera? You didn’t see those often nowadays, but then again, no one saw monsters from the Ruins, either.

“Thank you,” she said, her voice as soft as the snow that began to drift around him.

“Not disappointed?” He asked, only half-joking. “My hand can’t be as comfy as yours.”

“Ah, but it is all your bone. And that is wonderful to me.”

“Geez, old lady.” He was grateful she couldn’t see his blush. “You’re pretty fur-fect yourself.”

When she laughed, her body shook all the way down to her hand. The feeling more than made up for all the G he’d spent on chocolate and donuts.

Suddenly his hand was being lifted up, and then something soft pressed against his knuckles. His soul flared erratically, and his eyes nearly flew open. If they had, he was sure his left eyelight would have been blue from shock.

“A kiss for a kiss,” she said slyly. “It is only fair.”

“Heh heh…” His voice shook with more than laughter. “Technically, that was one kiss for a bag of kisses. Pretty sure that math doesn’t square up.”

“Oh, you are quite right! One day we will have to circle back and rectify that.”

He practically had to cast gravity magic on himself to keep his eyes from flying open.

“You—huh?” He said intelligently.

“Perhaps not soon,” she clarified. “This has all been… a lot, for me. But thanks to you, my dear friend, this day has not been so bitter as I am used to.”

“Uh, no problem, then. With all that chocolate, I hope it’s sweet.”

Sweet as the anniversary of a death could be, anyway. He grimaced. Maybe that joke was too soon, but she just squeezed his hand before finally letting go.

“I do think it will be,” she said softly. “I will look forward to hearing more of your punny jokes tomorrow.”

The door scraped shut, and he hesitantly opened his eyes. He couldn't help inspecting the door to see if anything changed. Pressing his still-warm hand against the smooth stone.

“Heh. Good luck getting rid of me now.” He grinned.

Then he tucked his hands in his pockets, where her kiss remained like a tattoo on his bone.

[keorami]

So you know when you wanna write a funny situation but you realise that you have to come up with said funny situation? Yeah... I forgot that my sense of humor is atrocious, but at least I tried...? I couldn't focus on one long story so I decided to write several short ones instead! Hope you enjoy!

"I have the feeling you're not enjoying this sleepover very much."

Dream did not, in fact, enjoy this 'sleepover', because not only did it remind him that his only way out of this hell was stuck in here with him, but said way out had been nothing but insufferable since he got here.

"Is this about the bell-"

"You could have gotten us out of here."

Oh yeah, said way out also wasted their one chance at escaping on a fucking bell. Dream hadn't felt such anger in... he doesn't remember actually. He didn't get to feel angry often in here.

"Listen, it was a very important matter-"

He stopped listening at that point. It was the same tirade every time about clout and viewership and whatever that he honestly could care less about. Staring at and counting the cracks in the obsidian seems like a very interesting activity.

"Hey, are you listening?"

1... 2... 3...

"Dude."

4... 5... 6...

"How long are you gonna ignore me?"

7... 8- wait, didn't he count that one already?

"Look at me at least."

No, he doesn't think he will. Because then the bell will be within view, and Dream knows that if he wasn't so pathetically weak, either the bell or Techno would have been thrown into the lava by now. But he is, so he'll throw the next best thing: his body. And fuck whatever the pig might have to say about it.

"Dreeeeeam-"

"WHAT."

He whipped his head so fast his neck hurt a little. He was fully prepared to... well now he doesn't remember, because of all faces he expected Techno to make...

The fuckboy face wasn't one of them.

"Nooo don't be angry, you're so sexy haha."

Oh God, he just died and went to limbo didn't he?

He wasn't sure when exactly he collapsed on the floor, gasping for air in a mix of wheezes and coughing, but Techno was now hovering over him in panic.

"Dream please don't die, I don't want the last thing you ever saw to have been that face-"

Oh, if there was one thing he would make sure not to forget, it would have been that face.

~~~~~

"Man, I'm starving. When do we get food in here again?"

"Um, I don't know really. I guess whenever Sam is in the mood?"

"What."

"Yeah."

Sam hasn't dropped food a single time since he was locked in here. Well, add 'food' to the basic human rights Dream isn't getting. They're really treating this like a bucket list aren't they?

"It's... You'll get used to it."

Dream gives him some potatoes from his inventory, to Techno's absolute delight. At least Sam has great taste, he'll give him that. But...

"...They're raw."

"Well, obviously."

Listen. He loves potatoes. He'd say he loves them to death, if he could die. No matter how you cook them, they turn out delicious. But raw? He'd only eat them raw if it was a life-or-death situation AND he somehow had no source of heat at his disposal, and the likelihood of that situation happening is practically zero. So yeah, he doesn't like to eat them raw.

"And that's all you get?"

"If you can't eat it-"

Ah, those famous words. Now, he's fairly certain that Dream didn't mean it as a challenge, but at this point Techno is just too competitive to see it any other way. Look, you don't get to his level by being passive, okay? So it's perfectly reasonable.

What wasn't reasonable was the taste of this potato because what in the Blood God's name is this.

"What the hell is this."

"...A potato?"

"No, this is a fucking travesty."

And what a sight it was, the Technoblade swearing and ranting about potatoes, of all things. Dream could only last until "mossy cobblestone tastes better than this dry ass, stinky ass garbage" before he lost it. You gotta give him credit for lasting this long at least. Technoblade was too busy ranting to care either way.

~~~~~

This can't be happening.

"Dream."

"What."

He tries to sound neutral, but Techno can hear the snicker in his voice.

"You don't have to do this."

Surely he can reconsider-

"On the contrary, it has to be done."

Dream places a single card on the pile, which happens to be his last one. A Wild Draw 4, to rub salt into the wound. Techno decides that ending on that card should be illegal.

"Remember the deal. No bell for the rest of the day."

"NOOOOOOO!"

Unfortunately, that had been the condition he had to agree to in order to get Dream to play. Because apparently he was "ringing it all the fucking time and it was driving me crazy". There's that, and the threat that Dream would jump in the lava again if he refused. So clearly he had a choice in the matter.

He knew that there was a chance he could lose... but he had deemed it low enough to ignore it. How could he not expect the resident chessmaster of the SMP to utterly trounce him in UNO? He was a fool, and now he has to think about how to make up for the lost clout and money.

At least, judging from the quiet snickers, someone finds his misery funny. He finds consolation in knowing that he may have lost the battle but he won the war. In a way.

~~~~~

"So I almost got mauled to death but that was how I met Steve."

Dream stares at him the way Phil does when he does something particularly outlandish and he fails to see why.

"Can I ask a question."

"Sure."

"Why would the first thing you do upon running into a starving polar bear be hugging it?"

Of course he would question it, because obviously Techno's superior intellect is confusing to the common mind. He just really likes animals, okay? Steve's fur looked so soft and fluffy he just had to touch it, he almost got his face torn off and Phil never let him live that down. But he'll sooner accept governments than let Dream know that. He doesn't want to embarrass himself too much.

"See Dream, I live by a simple philosophy."

"Long live anarchy?"

"No. Well yes, but not just that."

Dramatic silence.

"Any animal is huggable if you aren't a coward."

Dream chokes on his potato, the only one he had eaten today, and Techno worries for a second before he realises that Dream is actually laughing.

"Tech- what-" His body is shaking. "-what is wrong with you??"

"It all started when I was born-"

~~~~~

And it's enough to send Dream rolling on the ground. It wasn't even that funny, but he supposes that prison does a number on you, and Dream's sense of humor was already terrible to begin with.

...Okay, now he had to make sure that the teletubby didn't laugh himself to death.

At the end of the day- at least Techno assumes it's the end of the day, he doesn't know how trustworthy his internal clock is anymore- the two inmates of Pandora's Vault are about ready to fall asleep, but Techno has one last thing to do before that.

"Dream, come here for a minute."

Said man gives him such a wary look that he almost feels insulted.

"...Why?"

"I won't bite, ya know."

"That's... debatable."

Bruh.

"Just get over here."

And Dream complies without any further complaints. Techno hopes he didn't sound too harsh, but his cellmate wasn't shivering uncontrollably, so he thinks he's in the clear.

"What?"

Techno lays his cape down on the very uncomfortable obsidian floor. Seriously, laying down for an hour is enough to make his joints ache. 0/10 would not recommend. How did Dream- right, he doesn't have a choice.

"What are you doing?"

"Making this prison less of a living hell. Come lay down."

"...I'm fine."

Why are you being so difficult, Techno wants to ask, even though he can guess the answer. When was the last time anyone did something remotely nice for him without any catch? Especially in here?

"Stop being difficult and sleep with me already."

Silence.

"...Pft."

"You know what I meant."

In his defense, everyone has their moments, and his usually don't happen that often.

"Stop being so difficult and-"

"Just... get over here. My cape is really soft."

"Is that why you wear it all the time?"

"...Among other things."

But mostly because it was really soft.

Dream still seemed apprehensive about the whole thing, and while usually Techno would have respected his wishes and left him be... the sight of his rival curling up in a corner of the cell, obviously trying to not aggravate his injuries as he did, was saddening even to him. Prime, he's really not good at this... but Dream probably definitely needs it.

So he pulls his roommate into a side hug, which is honestly the best he can manage without ruining his image. It's awkward, Dream is way too stiff, and maybe now would be the time to say something before embarrassment kills either or both of them. Something reassuring, comforting to help Dream relax in his presence for example.

"This is gonna be the best sleepover you've ever had."

...But the day he stops relying on humor for any kind of social interaction is the day it'll either stop working or get him killed.

"...This is so stupid."

And today was not that day.

Dream lets out a laugh, shaky but genuine, and relaxes. Techno sees that as a win. Since he's stuck here for a while, might as well make his favorite teletubby's life in here more bearable.

And it's finally over! It only took me... *looks at calendar* ...time is an illusion. Idk if I'm really happy with this, but on the bright side, it's... done? Now I really wanna continue that endersmile fanfic as I got some ideas, hopefully it won't take as long? God I am a writing disaster

Also if you saw any mistakes... no you didn't :)

[silvermoongirl10swfics]

I trust you with my life

For @codywanweek 2021 Day 3: Lightsaber.

You can also read this fic here on A03.

No warnings. This is written as a 4+1 fic.

1)

Cody tiredly dragged his feet towards his tent, it had been a long day of fighting and finally the day had ended in a win. Obi-Wan was reporting to the Council and then needed to comm Skywalker about what they needed to do tomorrow. Unfortunately, the 501st were on the other side of the planet so Cody couldn’t spend any time with Rex. But that was probably for the best considering the exhaustion pulling at his limbs and his tiredness making his eyes feel like they were burning.

Sighing in relief as he pushed his way through the tent flaps of his tent, Cody rubbed a fist over his eyes. After taking his armour off on auto-pilot, Cody turned to his sleep cot when he slowly realised something was different. After pausing for a moment, so his exhausted mind could spot what was out of place, he noticed perched innocently on his pillow was Obi-Wan’s lightsaber. With a resigned sigh, Cody carefully picked up the lightsaber, muttering mockingly under his breath, “this lightsaber is your life Anakin. Hypocrite.”

He sat on his sleep cot, holding his cyare’s lightsaber in his hands which were resting on his lap. Through force of will, Cody managed to keep himself awake, his head would dip forward as his eyes closed, but he was able to jerk himself back into alertness. Cody wasn’t sure how long he ended up waiting, but despite Obi-Wan having been given his own tent, Cody knew Obi-Wan would make his way to Cody’s tent to sleep, and sure enough the tent flap opened to reveal an equally exhausted looking Jedi. Whose robes were creased and covered in dirt, his copper hair looked brown due to the dirt smeared into the locks and Obi-Wan had dark circles under his eyes to match Cody’s. Obi-Wan stopped and stared at Cody, evidently surprised to find Cody still awake.

“Cod’ika? What?” Obi-Wan stumbled out, unable to ask anything else when Cody just held out a hand, a hand that held a lightsaber in it.

“Misplaced something cyare?” Cody asked in a voice that dripped in fake innocence.

“Um…well yes apparently,” Obi-Wan stuttered out, his face turning red out of slight embarrassment.

Taking pity on his exhausted Jedi, Cody stood up and helped Obi-Wan take off his outer robes and belt, but before they both settled on the cot that was technically designed for one person. Cody smirked as he placed the lightsaber in Obi-Wan’s hands, “this lightsaber is your life.”

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes and then turned to place his lightsaber on top of his robes. “Yes, well…I will love you even more if you can refrain from telling Anakin about this little slip.”

“You can love me even more?” Cody joked with a raised eyebrow and a grin. The both of them laid down, Obi-Wan wrapping himself around Cody like a clinging tooka kit.

“It is not a hardship,” murmured Obi-Wan in a tired voice. Cody smiled and kissed his cyare on the forehead, Obi-Wan’s breaths already slow as he drifted into sleep. Once Cody closed his eyes, he was soon following his cyare into a dreamless sleep.

2)

Cody and Ghost company were jogging through a dried-up ravine, knowing that somewhere above them, jumping over the cracks and rocks was their Jedi. It made Cody relax, he didn’t like not knowing what could be in front of them, but they needed to meet up with the rest of the 212th and with Obi-Wan close by, he knew he could trust his cyare to let them know if danger was close.

The only sounds in the ravine were the soft crunching noise the men’s feet made on the sand beneath their feet, their helmets blocking out the sound of their breathing. Then a loud clacking sound, brought everyone to a stop, all on their guard they pointed their blasters behind and in front of them. Until an exasperated sigh broke the silence, “stand down men,” ordered Cody.

He bent down and retrieved the offending item that had knocked against his shoulder pauldron. Cody sighed again as his gloved hand enclosed around the item and stood back up, while activating the private comm channel he had with Obi-Wan. “I believe you are missing something,” he sighed.

There was an evident pause and then a sheepish, “ah. Yes, I do believe I have misplaced something.”

“That something, being your life?” snarked Cody, attaching the lightsaber hilt to his own belt, he then gave the order for Ghost company to start moving out again. “How many times cyare? Am I going to have to tie your lightsaber to your hand?” he added pointedly. This was not helping his stress levels, his cyare’s primary (only weapon), was consistently ending up in Cody’s possession and Obi-Wan detested using ‘uncivilised’ blasters, leaving him unprotected.

“I am sorry,” grumbled Obi-Wan.

Cody retorted, “try better.”

Obi-Wan sucked in a breath to answer back, but was interrupted because apparently Cody served with nosey busybodies who had apparently learnt to hack his private comm channel. “Mother and father are fighting!”

“Boil!” snapped Cody, because it could be no one else saying that.

“Hey! I’m just looking out for my poor vod’ike. Wooley will be upset if you and dad divorce,” sassed Boil.

Cody just sighed and as he was about to reprimand Boil for hacking his comm channel, he heard titters of laughter letting him know the entirety of Ghost company were listening. Obi-Wan just had to join in. “Why am I the father in this Boil?”

“Because Cody is always trying to keep you alive and gives off mama loth-wolf tendencies towards you and us,” Boil commented innocently.

Cody eyed up the rocky sides of the ravine and just pictured knocking his own head against the rocks and slipping into sweet unconsciousness and escaping the insanity. Unfortunately, he had to get Ghost company back to the remainder of the 212th. Shame.

3)

It was beginning to get ridiculous now. Not only had Cody lost count of the number of times he had ended up with Obi-Wan’s lightsaber in his possession, but his cyare was also dramatically throwing his outer robe off and just leaving it strewn on the floor. The first time Cody had found a brown Jedi robe fluttering along the ground in the breeze, he had picked it up to return to his General only to discover Obi-Wan had already put on a different robe. So, Cody just started to leave the robes he picked up in a box in the main storage cupboard on the Negotiator for anyone who wanted a robe as an extra blanket. He wasn’t sure if Obi-Wan knew about it, but considering how many spare robes his cyare seemed to pick up when they were on Coruscant (as he never ran out of robes), Cody wasn’t sure.

So, it was not surprising in the midst of a battle. When General Grievous made his bi-monthly drop-in/actually a gate-crash of a battle he had no reason to be involved in, a part from the single aim of driving Cody’s blood pressure sky high when Obi-Wan would inevitably torment Grievous with his witty comebacks and nearly get killed in retaliation for Grievous not having a sense of humour and taking offense. Obi-Wan spotted his favourite foe to torment, a foe the men had started to call The Runaway General. Named after the romantic comedy film the 212th had illegally watched on the holonet called the Runaway bride. The men had watched the first ten minutes of the film and all decided the bride who always ran away from her weddings reminded them of Grievous. So, now Cody was unable to ever watch that film again as his brothers had thoroughly spoiled it for him. He had tried to watch it again once, but instead all he could imagine was Grievous running away in one of the lace sleeved, A-line dresses the bride wore, veil included. A truly nightmarish image to be stuck in one’s head.

Anyway, The Runaway General made his usual wheezing entrance, if it was anyone else Cody would suggest they should see a medic for that ear grating, hacking cough. But Grievous could go and suck on a bucket of sour sweets for all Cody cared. Obi-Wan’s ocean blue gaze locked in on his favourite foe and Cody just felt the urge to cry, because Obi-Wan had that look in his eyes, the look that meant he was going to enjoy tormenting the ever-living kark out of Grievous and Cody was going to have to try and not have a heart attack. You know, situation normal.

Obi-Wan dramatically threw his outer robe off his shoulders, causing the brown material to swish majestically in the slight breeze, billowing out into an arch above the Jedi’s head and then delicately flittering down to the floor. The Jedi then charged forward, his blue lightsaber held aloft, towards Grievous, a sarcastic quip already on the tip of his tongue.

Cody just sighed.

Then over the comms he heard:

“Ooooh, solid effort that one. Best I’ve seen. I’d say a definite 10/10.”

“I have to agree with you Wooley. That was probably the best robe drop I’ve seen the General do.”

“What is wrong with you Wooley and Waxer? You have clearly forgotten the robe drop on Atollon. That was a far better robe drop. If this one is a 10/10, Atollon has to be a 12/10 at least.”

“That is a very good point Boil. Atollon was just chef’s kiss.”

Cody gritted his teeth and growled. “Focus on what you are supposed to be doing. And stop blocking the battalion comms!”

“Oops. Sorry Commander!” called out Wooley, his tone apologetic. Wooley had clearly been spending too much time with Waxer and Boil.

“Thanks for listening to today’s Dramatic Jedi Robe Drop Scoring. Tune in again when either The Runaway General, Never Had A Bad Hair Day, Kenobi’s Evil Grandfather or Obsessive Hate for Kenobi Kept Me Alive turn up to try and kill our General. See you then folks!”

“Waxer!” shouted Cody, scanning the battlefield for the Lieutenant. Fortunately for Waxer he wasn’t in Cody’s eyeline. Cody just sighed again. It was one of those days.

An hour later, when Grievous had done his usual running away technique, Cody waited by the gunships with Obi-Wan’s robe draped over one arm and his cyare’s lightsaber held in his other hand. Cody also had his helmet clipped to his belt, so he was able to give his cyare an unimpressed looked, raised eyebrow included. Which, when Obi-Wan made his appearance, his cyare directed a sheepish look at Cody.

Once Obi-Wan came to a stop in front of Cody, he took his lightsaber and clipped it onto his own belt and put on his robe. “Ah, thank you cyare,” Obi-Wan said, with a bright smile on his face.

Cody rolled his eyes. “Must we do this during every battle?”

Obi-Wan plastered an innocent look on his face, knowing full well Cody was going to mock him with ‘this lightsaber is your life’ lecture. So, instead Obi-Wan shrugged and said. “This really is a compliment, Cody.”

Heaving a heavy sigh, Cody just shook his head. “Suuureee, it is.”

4)

Yet another battle the 212th had been sent to, another battle where they were fighting against impossible numbers. However, the 212th were holding their ground and Cody felt victory would soon be in their grasp. Obi-Wan had even manged to hold onto his lightsaber, miracles of miracles. Cody had also heard on the comms, that Obi-Wan had dropped his robe to go against some tanks and apparently this robe drop scored a 7/10.

But then a loud explosion ripped through the air, Cody turned, his cyare was stopping the tanks not to far away and sure enough the explosions were coming from the tanks. Then Cody frowned, there was a silver item spinning through the air as it headed straight for Cody.

Seeing the sunlight glint off the item, Cody changed his HUD settings and sighed, “not again.” He had apparently spoken too soon. Flying through the air was his cyare’s lightsaber.

As the lightsaber got closer, Cody lifted up his hand and caught the lightsaber and immediately clipped it to his belt.

“Ooooh. Nice catch Commander!” yelled Waxer over the comms.

“A definite 10/10!” added Wooley, with awe in his voice.

“We should really start adding the Commander’s lightsaber catches to our scoring commentary,” stated Boil.

Cody just sighed, apparently his sigh could be heard over the comms because a voice suddenly rang out over the comms. “That wasn’t my fault, Cody!” Obi-Wan burst out in self-defence, his voice cracking slightly on Cody’s name.

“Somehow, I’m not entirely convinced,” Cody retorted dryly. He ignored the titters of laughter over the comms and smirked to himself.

+ 1)

The 212th had been sent to an Outer-Rim planet, for Obi-Wan to try and negotiate peace between to warring tribes on the planet. It was a nice change for Cody and his brothers, the tribespeople, of both tribes, were very friendly towards them. Nicer than many citizens on Coruscant, which said a lot to the men in the 212th. Obi-Wan was needed for his negotiating skills and it gave Cody the opportunity to see his cyare as the peaceful Jedi he should be, not the General he was.

Cody couldn’t go into the hastily contrasted hut, built on neutral ground by both tribespeople as a sign of wanting to end the hostilities. Obi-Wan had to go in alone with the Councils of both tribes. Cody didn’t mind, he didn’t get hostile vibes from the tribes and it meant he could watch as his brothers ran around and played with the children of both tribes. A sight that he could see soften the most hardened warriors of each tribe, leading to the female and male warriors to intermix with the opposing tribe. The Council members saw this and Cody noticed the tension in their shoulders fade away, he turned, feeling someone come and stand beside him.

“I believe my job has just been made easier,” Obi-Wan stated with a bright smile on his face. The Jedi held one of Cody’s hands, and smiling to himself, Cody squeezed his cyare’s hand in response.

“Amazing what children can accomplish,” replied Cody, watching as Waxer, Wooley, Boil, Longshot, Gearshift, Trapper, Meteor, Blackeye and Flycatcher began a game of chase with a hoard of children.

“And your brothers,” Obi-Wan admonished lightly. Cody felt his heart swell with love, knowing how deeply Obi-Wan cared about his brothers, made it even easier to fall in love with the Jedi.

“As I said. Children,” retorted Cody, humour plain in his voice.

Obi-Wan shook his head as he chuckled to himself. Hearing the Council members state they were ready for the negotiations to begin, Cody squeezed Obi-Wan’s hand again, and then let his cyare’s hand go. Obi-Wan turned to face him fully and gently pressed their lips together, before either one of them could be tempted to deepen the kiss, Obi-Wan pulled away. He then placed something in Cody’s hand. In confusion Cody lifted his hand up to find himself holding Obi-Wan’s lightsaber. “I can’t take weapons in with me to the negotiations as is custom, so I leave my life in your trusty hands,” stated Obi-Wan.

Cody felt his throat tighten with emotion and he nodded as he swallowed heavily. “Always.” With one more smile and kiss, Obi-Wan was walking away and towards the waiting Council members. Cody smiled to himself as he looked down at the lightsaber in his hand, he clipped it to his belt and taking a leaf out of his brothers’ book. He ran to join in the game of chase, the delighted squeals and laughter of the children and his brothers filling his heart up with joy.

End note:

My mum was watching the film Runaway Bride and I couldn’t resist writing Grievous in a wedding dress, I wish I could draw this image (Cody is probably glad I can’t) but I can’t even draw decent stick people. So I hope my descriptions of Grievous in a wedding dress make it seem funny, I was giggling to myself as I wrote it.

Trying to come up with nicknames the 212th would have made for Ventress, Dooku and Maul was actually harder than I thought it would be 😂

[ijustwant2write]

Different Worlds-Fred Weasley x Muggle! Reader

(GIF credit to @avocadosalad2​)

Masterlist

Prompts List

Requested by anonymous: 'Could you do a Fred Weasley after the war imagine (where he doesn’t die) and he falls in love with a muggle'

Summary: (Y/N) may be a muggle, but she was introduced to the hidden magical world once she realised her best friend was a witch. Years later, after they have both graduated, she finds herself drawn towards the magic, as well as a particular person.

Characters: Fred Weasley x Reader, George Weasley x Reader (platonic)

Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name

Warnings: Lots and lots of fluff

(A/N: Beatrice is a made up character)

                                        *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

As I stirred the milk into the mug of tea, I continued listening to Beatrice babble on about the rude man on the train, who had insisted that she was sat in his seat, when she had clearly reserved it. I smiled, picking up the mugs and heading back into the living room, handing one to her. She blew on it, testing how hot it was before taking a tiny sip.

“But anyway, enough about twats in London.” Bea waved her hand.“I’ve got some exciting news!”

“Yeah? What is it?” I put down my own mug, ready to squeal and jump about with her.

“You know that shop I had my eye on?”

“The one in um...oh what’s it called? Diagonal street?”

She laughed.“Diagon Alley.”

“Ah, right.”

“Anyway, I went for another viewing the other week, and I got a letter through this morning to say that it is now mine!”

I grabbed her hands, squeezing them.“That’s fantastic! Oh my god, you’ve been wanting your own shop since we were kids!”

“I know! I’ve already had new flooring put down, it’s just been painted too. Now all that’s left is to organise how I want the furniture and to put stock out on display.”

Bea had always loved her fashion when she was younger. She would always complain about how basic her uniform was (even pointing out how boring muggle uniform was as well), and always added different accessories or made her own clothes. This hobby carried on, she became a great seamstress (the magic probably helped), knowing that this was something she wanted to do. Now she was opening a clothes shop that would also sell things like accessories, notebooks, pens etc. 

“I’m so happy for you.” I hugged her.

“You know, I am going to need help moving in...”

“Wait, you want me to come with you?”

Bea nodded.

“Isn’t that illegal?”

“No, don’t be silly! You’re with me, and you’re only visiting. Plus you’ve known about all of this since we were twelve. I haven’t used the Obliviate spell on you, and I’m still not in trouble.”

“Sorry, you haven’t what?”

“Don’t worry about it. So, you want to accompany me to little old Diagon Alley?”

A couple of days later, Beatrice visited me again, leading me out of my little flat and onto the tube. We practically had to go to the other side of London, making me feel bad when she visited me all those times. When we finally got off, and after walking for another ten minutes, we stood in front of an abandoned building stuck between a record and book shop. Glancing at Bea, who was staring at the uninviting building, I wondered what I had got myself into.

“Uh, Bea, we’re not going in there are we?” I asked as she dragged me towards it.

“Just trust me.”

She pushed open the door, which made a worrying creaking noise, and I was scared that if we shut it too hard, the whole place would collapse. However, instead of a dusty room with broken floor boards and bending beams, we seemed to be in a pub. There were a few people already in here, sat at various tables with their drinks. A worker walked past, waving their hand which made some scattered chairs tuck underneath the table. My eyes widened as I watched, realising that I had stepped into a different world. Beatrice laughing at me brought me back into reality as she held onto my hand again. 

“Alright Tom?” She called out to the bartender.

“Ah, here once again Beatrice? Oh, this the muggle you were on about?” he replied as he leaned against the bar.

“Yep, this is she. I’m taking her to the shop, which I now own!”

“Ah, congratulations! Head on back then.”

They said their goodbyes and I was being steered away again, this time outside. There was a wall blocking us, and to anyone else it would be a dead end, but I knew something was about to happen. Bea revealed her wand, tapping it around a part of the wall where bricks were missing. Stepping back, my eyes widened as the bricks started moving, separating to reveal a busy street. 

“Oh, this is just too precious. Wish I had captured the moment.” Bea said.

I must have stuck out like a sore thumb; I couldn’t shut my mouth, checking out everything around me, eyebrows furrowing as my mind tried to comprehend how this was possible. Men and women passed me in long robes, some sporting the stereotypical witches hats. There were broomsticks, animals such as owls and cats, things floating by me. My brain was well and truly frazzled. 

As we came to Bea’s new shop, I was still in awe, my eyes landing on a bright orange shop, with an animatronic of a man who was putting on a top hat. I could see lots of younger children in there. Explosions of light appeared, objects were flying around, I could hear the laughter across the street.   

“Kind of hard to miss right?” Bea giggled as she unlocked the shop. 

“Yeah. Looks amazing in there.”

“That’s Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes. I went to school with the guys who own it. Onto more important matters, after you.”

I walked into the shop, grinning as I looked around. It wasn't huge, but it had a vintage look to it; the floor was a dark wood, and the walls were painted a lighter cream colour to contrast it. Currently it was empty, in one corner were mannequins, display tables and railings to hang the clothes on.

"I've got everything mapped out, I just need to move bits around." Bea said.

"It's going to look great when it's finished. I bet you're so excited to open."

"Are you OK by the way? I just realised how much this must all be."

"I love it here! I'm surrounded by magic, what more could I want?"

We spent the next few hours moving the furniture around, trying out new things to see what worked, where it would be best to display the stock. People passed by the window in large groups, but now there were less, the sun was going down, and shop owners were starting to close up. We followed suit, putting everything back in the corner before leaving the shop.

"Hello neighbour." a man called out across the street.

We turned around, seeing a tall man in a suit outside of the shop I noticed upon arrival.

"Oh, I forgot I would be seeing you every day." Bea groaned, obviously joking.

"You don't have to lie to me, we're one of the reasons you bought the place."

Bea began walking towards him, I followed behind."Fred, this is (Y/N). She's a friend of mine."

"Nice to meet you." he smiled.

"You too." I replied, wishing I didn't sound so quiet.

"Already got your staff sorted then?"

"(Y/N)'s an old friend of mine. I had to show her the shop. And Diagon Alley."

Fred caught on, realising that I wasn't a witch."Oh, right. Welcome to the other side."

"Thanks. It's been amazing so far."

“Well, it couldn’t have been that good, I didn’t see you in our shop today.”

“He’s so humble, isn’t he?” Bea rolled her eyes.“Well, that’s just another reason for her to come tomorrow, isn’t it?”

“I look forward to seeing you then.” Fred casually winked before saying goodbye to us both, realising his name was being called from the shop. 

“OK, what just happened?” I gasped, feeling extremely flushed.

“Those Weasley boys are natural flirts. But that was very interesting.”

“There’s more of them?!”

Bea just shook her head, looping her arms through mine as she lead me away from the shop, telling (not asking) me to return with her again tomorrow. I didn’t hesitate to say yes. 

With Bea unaware, I had immediately gone to choose an outfit for the next day as soon as I made it home. I just wanted to look a little more presentable, it definitely wasn’t because I wanted to present myself well in front of anyone. Once I had decided on a casual outfit, though something that still showed I had put some effort in, I settled down for the night, lying on the sofa with my dinner. Even with the TV on in the background, I couldn’t concentrate on the programme. It felt strange to be back in my world, not surrounded by magic. I was half expecting objects in my flat to start moving by themselves. 

Bea had told me about her being a witch when she received her letter to Hogwarts. I wasn’t supposed to know, especially at a young age, but Beatrice had been so scared to lose our friendship. Her parents were muggles, so where the magic came from was a mystery. I missed her extremely, hating that Hogwarts was a boarding school. But once Bea was old enough to use magic outside of school, she graced me with all the spells she learnt, it was so enchanting to watch. Bea had returned to the muggle world for a few years once she finished her education, but now that her dream of owning a shop was coming true, she wouldn’t be living near me anymore; that’s what was really weighed on my mind.

Bea and I returned to her shop the next morning. I didn’t mention anything of my thoughts from the night before, not wanting to ruin the day. Seeing the other shop owners setting up for the day set a different atmosphere, some who were outside greeted us along the way. Bea got out her keys, but hesitated.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, suddenly worried.

“Nothing. I just think we should pay my fellow businessmen a visit.” she said, a wide smile on her face.

“No, cause you’ll just embarrass me!” I whined.

“No I won’t. Honestly, you need to see their shop, it’s bizarre.”

I knew she had a scheme planned, but part of me wanted to go along with it. As we approached, I glanced at my reflection in the window, tucking away any strands of hair that had fallen out of my up-do. Before we could knock on the door, Fred appeared, swinging it wide open.

“Ah, our most loyal customers are here.” He grinned letting us in.

“Good morning George.” Bea waltzed in.

Oh, this was his twin. 

“Fred has told me all about you, (Y/N), right?” George extended his hand.

I shook it as I nodded.“Yes, Sorry, I forgot you there were two of you for a moment.”

“Double trouble is what they are.” Bea mumbled.

“Welcome to Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes!” he exclaimed, presenting grandly with his arm. 

Cautiously walking around, I ducked out of the way as a Frisbee flew past me, smiling at what looked like mini fireworks before scrunching my nose up at a box labelled ‘Puking Pastels’. I explored everywhere, going upstairs to search further. The amount of jokes and prank items they had seemed endless. Looking over the railing, I saw Bea chatting away to George. It made me wonder where Fred was, but that question was soon answered.

“Do you come here often?” Fred slid up to me, leaning beside me on the railing.

I chuckled.“Funnily enough, this is my first time here. And did you really just use that line on me?”

“Works every time.” he winked, causing me to look away as I blushed. 

“This shop is amazing Fred.” I sighed in content.“Are those really Love Potions down there?”

“Ah, caught your eye?”

“I mean, how could it not? Doesn’t everyone want a love potion to make their lives so much easier?”

“It’s not permanent. Besides, falling in love is the fun part.”

I didn’t question if he had been in love. It was too soon to be asking things such as that. 

Fred continued.“Can’t believe Bea waited so long to bring you here. She talks about you all the time.”

“She does?”

“Yep. I probably know more about you than you think.”

My eyes widened jokingly.“I don’t know if that’s good or not.”

“It’s very good, trust me.”

“I don’t think I would ever want to leave now. Couldn’t stop smiling when I was home.”

Fred opened his mouth to say something else, but was interrupted by Bea calling up to us.“Come on you two, it’s my turn now.”

Not knowing what she meant, we headed downstairs, realising that Bea wanted to show the twins her shop. Making our way across the road, Fred and I walked behind the others as they continued talking, even as Bea unlocked the shop. 

“I mean, you’ve still got quite a bit of work to do Bea.” George joked as they walked around the empty space.

“I know that. But that’s why I have (Y/N) here to help me.” She smiled at me.

“It’s a good space. You got everything planned?” Fred asked.

“Yeah, we moved the furniture around a few times yesterday, so I’ve got options. And of course I had my wonderful assistant to help.”

“She didn’t even buy me a drink after.” I said.

“I can pay you.”

“What? Don’t be silly.”

“No, I’m serious. Because I need to know if I have to put you on the payroll.”

“Bea, what are you saying?”

She grinned but I could see she was nervous.“How would you like to work here with me?”

My mouth dropped wide open, eyes bulging out of my head. I was shocked, speechless even. Out of the corner of my eye I saw George nudge his brother, smirking at him as Fred looked annoyed.

“Oh, this is making me anxious.” Bea whispered, gripping her hands together despite her happy expression.

“You really want me to work here? But where would I live?”

“With me obviously!”

“Is that allowed?”

“Yes, I checked. Oh (Y/N) please, you always say you’re not happy with your job and that you want to live somewhere nicer.”

“I’ve never said that.”

“OK, but I can tell you’re not entirely happy.”

I took a deep breath as I smiled.“Bea, I would love to work here.” She squealed, running towards me and throwing out her arms, embracing me tightly. I squeezed her back, feeling very emotional. Bea wanted me here. She trusted me to live in this world of hers, she wanted to share her dream with me.

“Looks like we’ll be seeing a lot more of each other.” George said as Bea and I ended the hug.

“Looks like.” I wiped my eyes, hoping I didn’t look like a sap for crying.

“Right,” Bea put her hands on her hips,“well, we best get on with the day. Catch you boys later?” 

They nodded, already making their way out. Bea smiled at me one last time, disappearing into the backroom. As I looked around the space, I noticed Fred still by the door, hesitating to walk out.

“You alright there Fred?” I asked, approaching him.

“Yeah...um,” he closed the door, coming inside again,“so,now that you’re living here, once you’re settled that is....do you fancy going out sometime?”

I was taken back, flustered which caused me to stutter.“Uh, y-yeah, I-I would love to!”

He nodded, pleased with the answer.“Good, it’s a date then.”

I awkwardly waved as he left, watching him enter his own shop. He turned around, seeing me still looking, sending yet another wink my way. He already knew how to embarrass me. Feeling my heart flutter, I slowly turned around, only to see Bea standing there.

“Oh, I am so good at playing Cupid.”

[matthewfairchildfanclub]

TSC except it's incorrect quotes and it's part 2 and it's really fucking long sorry.

Cordelia: I like your top.

James, wearing a very bright shirt: Thank-

Matthew: Thanks dude, I like you to.

_

Anna: Gender is a game and I have the cheat codes.

_

Clary, at Starbucks: Can I get a venti caramel macchiato with, uh... seven shots of espresso.

Simon, behind her: Jesus Christ, Clary, just do cocaine.

_

James: If you were to die, what would be your last words?

Matthew: Finally.

James: No-

_

Izzy, on the phone with Magnus: Is it okay if I bring my weird roommate?

Simon: Would you please stop calling me that.

_

Clary: You sure you're sober enough to drive?

Jace: Yeah, I didn't drink anything.

Clary: Okay, go get the car.

Alec: [running after Jace]

Clary: It's okay, he's sober!

Alec: HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO DRIVE!

_

Will: Jem, you have beautiful eyes.

Jem: You too.

Tessa: ...

Tessa: Did I miss something?

Will: I'm straight, I just like his eyes.

Tessa: You're gay for his eyes.

Will: Exactly!

Will: Wait, no

_

Lucie, walking out in a new outfit: How do I look?

Matthew: Holy shit, that's the ugliest thing I've ever seen.

Lucie: Excuse you?!

Matthew: No, not you, the thing sitting beside you.

Alastair: Fuck you.

_

Magnus: You sure know a lot about the law.

Julian: I do a lot of borderline illegal shit.

_

Cordelia: Lucie! Don't let go!

Lucie, dangling from the side of the cliff: WHY THE FUCK WOULD I LET GO?!

_

Kit: I think I forgot to sleep because I was looking at memes.

Dru: If you ever wonder why you have no friends, just remember that sentence.

_

Christopher: Oh, tiddlywinks.

Matthew: JUST SAY FUCK

_

Will: Swear words are banned in this house, if you say one you'll be grounded.

Matthew: Heck.

Will: You're on thin fucking ice, kid.

_

Jace: You may not know this, Alec, but I'm a flawed person.

Alec: I do know that.

_

Dru: [reading the exorcist]

Dru: [laughs]

_

Matthew: I know you can be "underwhelmed" and you can be "overwhelmed" but...

Matthew: Can you ever just be whelmed?

James: ...

Christopher: I think you can in Bulgaria!

_

James: I think I'm in love with Cordelia.

Grace: Congratulations! You're officially the last one to know.

_

Tessa: James, what are you doing here? Weren't you making spaghetti tacos with Mattew, Christopher, and Thomas?

James: Well, I was.

Tessa: ... was?

James: Well, I- it was just getting hot downstairs because of the fire.

Tessa: THE WHAT?!

(Downstairs the kitchen is completely on fire)

Christoper, looking around while Matthew and Thomas try to put the fire out with olive oil: Oh, this isn't good.

_

Jace: Please shut up.

Simon: Well, since you asked nicely, no.

_

Will: No pain, no gain!

Matthew: But I'm in constant pain and I've lost everything-

_

Matthew: If you'll excuse me, I must attend to my evening affairs.

James: You mean drinking wine and eating gummy bears until you pass out on a chaise?

Cordelia: Or reading Layla and Majnun and crying in the bath because they didn't deserve it?

Lucie: Or shouting your own poetry from your balcony?

Matthew: All three, in that order.

_

Will: What have I told you about comparing Tatiana to the devil?

Lucie: ... that it's offensive to the devil?

_

Jamie: These people are my friends!

Jamie: I've known them for twelve hours!

_

Clary: What are we gonna do?

Simon: Don't worry, you're so small they probably won't see you.

Clary: Simon, is this really the time to be making short jokes?

Simon: Clary, it's never not the time, because just like you, life is short.

_

Matthew, drunk: Always strive to eat the stars.

Lucie, half asleep: Aren't they too hot?

Matthew: Blow on them first, idiot.

_

Cashier: Would you like your check?

Ty: If someone is being murdered right now it would be my alibi, but if someone gets murdered in the store they could pin it on me.

Cashier: Sir?

Ty: I want to speak to a lawyer.

_

Magnus: If you had to choose between Jace and all the money I have in my pocket, which would you choose.

Alec: Depends. How much money are we talking about?

Jace: Alec????

Magnus: Eleven cents.

Alec: Sold.

Jace: ALEC?!!??!?!

_

Alastair: Cursing is for those who have a limited vocabulary.

Matthew: You are an audacious, ideologically unsound, captious, presumptuous, motherfucker.

_

Clary: Hey, uh, maybe we need Simon's help with this one?

Jace: I would literally rather die.

_

Cristina: Name a way to be nice to people.

Kieran: Don't stab them.

Cristina: ...

Cristina: Setting the bar a little low but I'll allow it.

_

Tessa: Where have you been?

Will: Emotional hell.

_

Kit: I made you all of you into Sims, look.

Jace: Where are you?

Kit: I'm in the grave in the backyard.

Jace:

Clary:

Jace: Put me there to.

Clary: Oh my god-

_

Emma: I have the sharpest memory, name one time I forgot something.

Zara: You forgot me in a Walmart parking lot, like, three weeks ago.

Emma: I did that on purpose, try again.

_

Matthew: Will, did you know "thot" means "thoughtful person."

Will: Really? I did not know this modern slang.

(later)

Will: Thank you for helping me with the stables, Tessa, you're such a thot.

Tessa, wheezing: I'm a WHAT?

_

Julian: [choking]

Kit: I'm trying to call 911 but the 9 button isn't working!

Dru: Just flip your phone upside down and use the 6.

Julian, stopping his choking for a second: What the fu-

_

Emma, getting in the front seat: Alright, is everyone ready to go?

The Blackthorns: Yep!

Emma: Okay, let's go.

(looks into the mirror to see Zara running after the van)

Emma: [whispers to herself] Goodbye you little shit.

_

Cordelia: What the hell is going on??

Matthew: Oh, great, you heard my cry for help.

Cordelia: You mean your girly scream?

Matthew: I MEAN MY CRY FOR HELP

_

James: The risk I took was calculated.

James: But holy shit am I bad at math.

_

Izzy and Magnus: [getting arrested at a protest]

Cop: Fake ID's, fake credit card. Got anything on you that's real?

Izzy: My tits.

Magnus: My ass.

_

[in a group chat]

Dru: Adding "lmao" does not hide your pain.

Kit: Yeah it does lmao.

_

Matthew: Excuse me, who made James the boss of the group.

Christopher: You did.

Thomas: You said, "James should be the boss".

Lucie: And then you said, "lets vote," and it was unanimous.

Cordelia: And then you made him a plaque that says, "Boss Of Us".

Anna: And put little sparkles all over it.

Matthew: ... All valid points.

_

Matthew: And once again, James and Matthew save the day.

Lucie: You didn't do anything.

Thomas: It was all James.

Matthew: We're a package deal. Everyone knows that.

_

Jem: I am not "too nice"!

Will: Jem, you apologized-

Jem: I have manners!

Will: -to the waiter who spilled soup on your lap.

_

Kit: You wanna see how hardcore I am?

Kit: [punches a wall]

Kit: Take me to the hospital.

_

Julian: People ask me how I handle the rest of my family so easily.

Julian: The truth is, I don't.

Julian: I have no control over them.

Julian: I walked into the house today and Mark shot me in the neck with a nerf gun.

_

(At a New Years Eve party)

Alec, to the TMI gang: I would like to make a toast!

Alec, raising his glass: I cannot believe we have gone through another twelve months of absolute fuckery.

Alec: Cheers!

[in-tua-deep]

20 for Vanya?

20. What-ifs/Alternate Timelines

I have a lot of what-ifs and alternate timelines for Vanya lmao, especially ones that prevent the apocalypse because I’m a sucker for a happy ending tbh

What if Vanya was included? Why not? Klaus’s powers weren’t useful for missions, Allison’s story for Claire was literally like “yeah Klaus got distracted by ghosts in the background lol” so it’s not like a kid without offensive powers couldn’t do it

you have rebellious Vanya aus, where she decides, like some neglected children do, so act out. If her father isn’t going to acknowledge anything good about her, she’s going to make him acknowledge the bad. Punishment might be the only time he pays attention to her, after all.

(let’s call this an au where the pills suppress her powers but not so much her emotions)

So you have an au where she sneaks out and joins the missions. She breaks into the mausoleum and picks Klaus up and stares her father down with a challenge in her eyes. 

Five vanishes, and Vanya gets worse. She plays her violin at 2 in the morning. She refuses to eat her broccoli. she teams up with diego to see who can piss dad off the most

(her and Diego actually get along very well in this sort of au, honestly)

Vanya gets out and plays the violin and gets angry. She plays with fury and fire and gets second chair, because Helen is actually really very good. But she makes Helen work for it. Helen isn’t secure in her position, she always knows that Vanya is a step away from taking it from her

and maybe that should make them enemies, but it doesn’t. They’re rivals. Helen respects the hell out of Vanya, and Vanya can’t help but admire the woman who makes the most difficult pieces look effortless

(RIVALS TO LOVERS: VIOLIN EDITION)

Vanya writes her book. Except she kicks down Diego’s boiler room door and is like “DIEGO”

“WHAT”

“I WANT TO WRITE A BOOK ABOUT HOW MUCH DAD FUCKING SUCKS”

“I’LL BE RIGHT THERE”

as one of the rebel kids, Vanya actually got along well with Klaus as well since she helped him sneak out and 100% also smoked at least some weed with him because it would piss off Reggie tbh though she didn’t get into the harder drugs like he did

(showing up absolutely plastered to breakfast when they were sixteen was hilarious even if the laps they had to run around the block were not)

anyway Klaus crashes at her apartment sometimes, with supervision, because she loves Klaus but he has a problem and has stolen from her before but he’s still her brother but regardless

Klaus-Diego-Vanya sleepovers where they brainstorm the book to shit talk their father. Honestly it’s kind of a blast. They all get super wine drunk and end up watching Mary Poppins together with some Very Loud Opinions about nannies in general tbh

klaus throwing popcorn at the screen: BOO WHY WAS OUR CHILDHOOD NOT A MUSICAL???

diego: idk if you can have cheery musicals about child soldiers

vanya: i mean if they can have a musical about child labor in factories and the starvation of the workers in oliver twist you could do something with child superheroes

klaus: EXACTLY thank you vanya

they publish the book (luther is uNHAPPY, vanya dedicates her book to ‘all my siblings who survived the Reginald Regime but especially those who didn’t’, and she gifts Reggie a copy that says “fuck you lol” and is signed by her, diego, and klaus), they continue living, they go to the funeral when reggie kicks the bucket

and then five shows up, feral and aching

and five tells vanya about the apocalypse, and vanya thinks about their father saying time travel messed with the mind, and then she thinks - fuck the old man he was wrong about her (ordinary, fuck that, she’s Vanya Fucking Hargreeves) and he was probably wrong about Five, too

and Five is wholeheartedly believed

“Let me call Diego,” Vanya says when Five tells her about the eye, “I bet he could totally wear a police uniform and get info about the eye. And if not, I’m absolutely sure Klaus could improvise a solution. He’s good at that.”

“Klaus??” Five asks, vaguely suspicious.

“We don’t talk about the Sleepover of 2012.” Vanya intones solemnly, and refuses to answer any further questions on the topic.

Harold Jenkins comes to the apartment and tries to woo Vanya or whatever, and Vanya is kind of like... “Look, Leonard. I can be your teacher for violin. It’s my job. But I am in a relationship. And also like, super gay. If you have a problem with that then I am not the teacher for you.”

Actually scratch Diego and Klaus getting called, which they do, Vanya looks at them and her thirteen year old brother and is like “wait. actually i know someone infinitely better to crack this case wide open.”

“Who?” Five, Klaus, and Diego all ask

“My girlfriend.” Vanya says proudly, called Helen up.

And Helen walks into the building like she’s at fucking war and has such demanding confidence that they just give her the information she seeks and apologize for inconveniencing her.

“Hey Vanya are we still on for date night tomorrow?” Helen casually asks after, and Five kind of wants to be her when he grows up honestly after watching her verbally eviscerate Lance or whatever the fuck his name is

“Yeah.” Vanya confirms, “Unless there’s other apocalypse stuff to do?”

“You take all the time you need, honey.” Helen says warmly, “After all the more time you take the less you have to practice.”

“I’m gonna destroy the concert piece and you know it.” Vanya threatens.

Helen sniffs, “Okay, whatever you say second chair.”

and then they kiss and Helen ditches and the others just kind of look at Vanya judgingly

“In fairness, she’s very hot and very talented.” Vanya defends herself.

Klaus nods sagely. Vanya nods back. He gets it. 

“Concert piece?” Diego asks, because he has priorities.

“Yeah, I’ve already asked for tickets for all of you and you will be attending Diego.” Vanya smiles prettily with all her teeth.

“When is it?” Five asks

“April 1st.” Vanya tells him, “And no that isn’t an April Fools joke. You will attend and you will marvel at my skill. And maybe run interference between Helen and Allison because I’m kind of afraid they’re going to rip each others throats out to establish dominance.”

“That’s the day of the apocalypse.” Five informs her.

“Not on my goddamn watch.” Vanya says, because her family will attend her fucking concert and they will make awkward small talk with her girlfriend and the fucking apocalypse has better lay down and get over itself because nothing can stop Vanya’s goddamn plans

“I can investigate Meritech more.” Diego offers, because Lance-or-whatever-his-name-is is clearly shady as shit, “I have police contacts I could go through. Hey Vanya, your concert tickets include a plus one?”

“They can.” Vanya shrugs.

“Sweet, let me see if Patch can come.”

“She’s way too good for you, bro.”

“Shut your goddamn mouth.”

Anyway the point is they all go home, and Diego goes to talk to his police contacts and Five is definitely at home for when Hazel and Cha-Cha attack the mansion, oops. 

“Whomst the FUCK.” Vanya yells, kicking Hazel in the crotch because she’s Vanya Fucking Hargreeves she knows self defense thank you very much

“Ah.” Five says. “Hazel. How’s it going.”

“Just peachy.” Hazel wheezes, “Why’d you betray the Commission?”

“Well, you know. They cut the dental. That was really the last straw.” Five says, sarcastically.

“The dental.” Hazel echoes back, nodding very seriously, “I fucking know. You know physical therapy isn’t even covered anymore?”

“No shit?” Five says, “I mean you’d think with a job as physical as ours...”

“I know.” Hazel howls, vindicated. 

“Five.” Vanya says, rolling her eyes, “The house?”

“Oh, right.” Five frowns, looking at Hazel, “I mean. Can you like, leave? And not come back?”

“‘Fraid not.” Hazel actually sounds somewhat apologetic, “You know what the Commission is like. They’re really gunning for you.”

Five nods, because really what did he expect, “Can you leave like, temporarily? I mean you’d pretty clearly outnumbered. I don’t even know where Cha-Cha is, but judging by the furious yelling she probably met our sister and brother and Luther is hard to kill. Trust me, if he wasn’t we would have killed him when we were like, eight. But for real, can you get out of our house? I mean. Storming the den? Seriously? What kind of information did they even give you?”

“They didn’t give us any information.” Hazel responds back, sounding appropriately outraged, “They didn’t even tell us you could teleport.”

“Well that’s just rude. You’d think they wanted you dead or something.” Five muses, “But seriously, get out of my house.”

“Yeah, that’s fair.” Hazel admits, and leaves, because honestly Hazel is chill like that and knows when he’s lost. And Hazel also has a lot to think about. Like the fact that the Commission sucks and doesn’t even have dental, and how pretty the donut lady is. 

and Vanya is just like... okay. Weird. Is that going to happen again? Probably? I mean. Okay, this day has already been so goddamn weird. This week, honestly.

And they keep getting attacked by the Commission. And Vanya finds out someone broke into her apartment and stole her meds. What the fuck. 

“Did your shitty assassin friends do this?” Vanya asks, waving an empty pill bottle.

“Why would they?” Five asks, honestly confused.

“Because they’re assholes?” Vanya says, honestly outraged.

“You got me there.” Five admits.

The combined forces of Diego-and-Patch (because Patch is actually thrilled that Diego is asking for help regarding an actual fucking crime) figure out that the eyeballs are being sold illegally

Klaus is not kidnapped so he’s fine, just tagging along and living his best life, however this also means that Klaus does not steal the briefcase and Hazel and Cha-Cha are fine

Vanya keeps Five close at hand because frankly she doesn’t want him to leave again and she did really miss him. Also if she does save the world she can lord it over Helen’s head forever. 

And so Five is around when Vanya’s powers manifest, probably because they just got targeted by commission goons again because they’re trying real hard to kill five and separate Vanya

“Holy SHIT.” Five says, very intelligently, “You have POWERS.”

“Wow. Gonna have to write a fucking sequel to the shit-talking-dad book.” Vanya says, honestly a little light headed.

And then Vanya finds out her powers are sound based.

“Oh no.” Vanya says, “Where the fuck are my pills. I am not relearning how to play the violin with-powers a few days before the big concert Five, what the fuck.”

“But you need to learn to control them!” Five protests, “They’re your powers!”

“They’re a goddamn inconvenience is what they are.” Vanya states, “I mean, what am I going to do with them? Stop a bank robbery with the Umbrella Academy? Yeah, no thanks, that ship has sailed and sunk to the bottom of the ocean Titanic style. I’ll figure them out when I’m not in danger of blasting the audience halfway across the continent.”

“Yeah.” Five admits, “That’s fair.”

“Besides, if I’ve been on that shit as long as I have, and it’s been a long time, I cannot even IMAGINE what quitting cold turkey will do.” Vanya points out, very sensibly, like a siblings who has watched Klaus go through withdrawal symptoms more than once.

“Maybe there’s extra at the manor?” Five suggests, “Pogo probably knows.”

“Oh yeah I bet Pogo knows something.” Vanya mutters maybe a little bitterly.

They go back to the mansion and the Commission is honestly pulling their hair out tbh, and they ask Pogo who kind of pales and is like “UHHHH YES I CAN GET VANYA EXTRA PILLS” and goes to get them from whatever stash

“Fucking sweet.” Vanya whispers, entirely done with this situation, “The only adult male role model I had and he hid my powers from me and betrayed me. Love that for us.”

Five shrugs, “I mean, you’re right. All of our adult role models were all kinds of fucked up.”

“You vanished when we were 13.” Vanya says, “Didn’t you find like, any other adults ever?”

“Oh let me tell you about the Handler.” Five says, and proceeds to do just that. Because let’s be real, the Handler was the only human interaction Five had after forty odd years alone it was pretty damn important

Vanya, on the other hand, has strong plans to eviscerate the Handler should the two ever meet because Five deserved way better than to be forcibly made into an assassin?? honestly fuck that woman

that’s it that’s the au

Vanya finds out she has powers and is like “i have a LIFE i don’t want to interrupt it with bullshit POWERS,,, also going cold turkey off my meds seems like a bad idea if I don’t want to deal with withdrawal symptoms during my concert for fucks sake, my gf would never let me live it down if i skipped”

so vanya takes her meds, does NOT destroy the world, makes every one of her siblings go to the concert and even invites Hazel and Agnes after Hazel betrays Cha-Cha to join team No-Apocalypse. 

and then introduces them all to her girlfriend

“Holy shit Vanya.” Helen deadpans, “Your family is all kinds of fucked up.”

“I know.” Vanya says, aggrieved, “It’s been a long fucking week. Want to go camping and help me figure out my cool sound based powers? Bet they’ll make me a better violin player than you.”

“I think the fuck not.” Helen hisses, always up for a challenge, “Let’s do this. Me and my violin vs. you and your dumb baby powers. You’re on.”

“FAMILY CAMPING TRIP.” Klaus hollers, with all the enthusiasm in his little heart.

“Holy shit this is going to be such a disaster, I just know it.” Diego mutters.

“Shut up, it’ll be nice.” Allison says, elbowing Diego with her pointy pointy elbows.

“It’s going to be a shitshow.” Vanya says serenely, because it is. That’s just who their family is. 

Wouldn’t have it any other way, though

[thedandelion-writer]

Good evening I am here for the matchup event

Preferred Gender- any and all

MBTI- INFP (my zodiac’s Sagittarius but I don’t fit any of those stereotypes)

Personality- shy, timid, quiet, you know the type. Unnecessarily polite around strangers while being simultaneously terrified of anyone who’s not a close friend but. It’s fine. Constantly seeking validation

Activities- if the other person has something they wanna do I’ll go with them and do it, but if I had to pick an activity, probably just walking, in general? Idk walking is. Nice

Boundaries- I have no boundaries please hug me

Other potential matchups- if you can, please. If not, perfectly understandable

A/N: Oh, why hello there, welcome! For your scenario, I was inspired by the movie Last Christmas, so if you've watched it and think it's familiar, that's probably why. But uh, Childe is real though, he's not like a ghost or anything in this one (if ykyk). God I'm not making any sense...don't mind it

But without further ado, you're going with...

Childe!

My reasons!

Childe would probably take your timid/unnecessarily polite demeanor when you first meet as a challenge. He's those type of people that you either love or hate and there's no in between (after getting to know him of course, first impressions can be deceiving with this one). When he takes interest in you, I'm pretty sure his charms are really hard not to fall for and before you know it, you've fallen for it. As for validation, Childe has no qualms with giving you any sort of comfort and validation when you need it, or when he feels like he should. Having a big family, and a family man at that, he knows how important it is to make sure a loved one feel like they matter. My other choice was Venti, because his carefree, cheery disposition might also help you during the early stages of the relationship. Then again, I feel like he'd be slightly put off at first so I felt that Childe was the best option :)

The First Date:

One thing was for sure. This guy was persistent

"Come on, one date, that's all I'm asking for. If you hate me afterwards, I'll consider it fair," he said one day, stopping you on the way home from work, hand oustretched.

You sighed.

"Will you just keep pestering me if I decline again?"

"You know it," Childe grinned, wiggling his fingers as if to say hurry on.

Truthfully, you too harbored feelings for him (otherwise this might have been a troubling situation), but instead of reciprocating, you avoided him instead, pretending otherwise

It was silly, yes, but you couldn't help it

You knew of the type of person he was, always looking for new thrills. Being afraid that his interest in you was temporary, unlike yours, was a valid reason right?

Although over time, you felt your resolve dwindle at the sight of him. He was just so...oh, what was the word?

Irresistable. Or at least to you

The first time you met, you had been so stiff that Childe couldn't help but stifle a laugh. You thought he was making fun of you, but he later told you he just thought it was cute

Maybe that was when you started falling for him?

Or maybe it was that time you saw him with his siblings and it looked so endearing for a moment you forgot he was capable of beating people up (like that one guy who harassed you-)

It was somewhere along the blurry lines, but the point was, you held an affection for him.

So you decide, what the heck, and you take his hand

Hesitantly, but you did. Watching his face light up afterwards made your heart flutter, though you were still unsure if what you did was the right thing.

"Well, are you going go tell me where we're going?" you asked, panting, because he had broken into a run and your lungs were breathing in cold night air.

"You'll know when we get there," he replied, not sounding even a little bit as breathless as you were.

Your hand still in his, you were practically dragged behind him as Childe excitedly took you somewhere over the rainbow

He stopped suddenly, and you leaned on your knees to catch your breath.

"You--seriously need--to warn me--" you wheezed.

"Haha, sorry, sorry! Pardon my enthusiasm but I've been waiting for this a long time," Childe rubbed the back of his head, not looking an ounce apologetic.

If you hadn't been so knees deep into him, this would've make for a bad impression, you thought, laughing quietly. At least he was energetic about it. You had been on dates when they just looked bored, and it was no fun at all

"So uh, where are we?"

"The skating rink!"

You gaped,"but it's like midnight...the rink's closed!"

"Yeah I know, that's why you should just follow me," Childe beckoned you behind the building and into a dim, narrow hallway that seemed to go on and on and on

"Trust me, okay?" he looked back at you and offered you his hand once again.

You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding and placed your fingers on his palm, allowing yourself to be lead into a possibly illegal act. But as long as you were with him, it all felt very exhilarating in the best way possible

Apparently, Childe worked a part time job here, so he knew of where things were stored and how stuff worked (also the best + discreet exits)

"Wild idea, why didn't you just, you know...take me here in the morning? Instead of risking getting kicked out by the guard?" you balanced yourself on the blades, teetering towards him after he finished tying your laces.

"You could've changed your mind by then, I didn't want to chance it."

"And you also didn't think about it very much I suppose?"

"Of course not," Childe was already on the ice, gesturing you to follow

The lights were a little dim because obviously, everything had to be lowkey, and you were honestly quite scared. This was all a little scary, but it was also a little romantic in a way

"Come here," he steadied you when you came onto the ice flailing, "I won't let go promise, just relax."

It felt like gliding through oil barefoot. You seriously could've just slipped and broken a skull or a leg, depending on your luck. This was a lot harder than you thought.

"I didn't know you could skate that well," you grabbed the railing, watching as he glided backwards, did a little spin and then came back to you.

Childe gave you a shrug before saying,"I had a lot of practice back in Snezhnaya."

You opened your mouth to answer, but was interrupted by a loud bang, followed by a man with a flashlight, shouting at the both of you to get the hell out, basically.

While laughing, yes laughing, Childe practically carried you out through the back door before the guard could even get near you.

"Wait, will you get fired for this?" you hopped on one leg, struggling to put on your regular shoes after throwing away the skating ones before leaving the building.

"Nah, no one saw my face, it'll be fine," he said, prompting you to walk a little faster in case the vicinity was still looking for the two figures who crashed into a closed building.

"Okay, let's just not do this again. That was the most illegal thing I've done in my life."

"As you wish!"

The rest of the time was peaceful in comparison.

Childe insisted to carry you on his back on the way to your place, because you complained about your sore feet once.

"It's fine, I'm used to it," he assured you,"at least you're not three small kids grabbing at my hair while climbing up."

"They're lucky to have you, though," you mumbled, not sure if you wanted him to hear.

But he did, and you could see him smile.

This wasn't so bad after all

Night turned into twilight and you found yourself looking forward to his future anything-but-dull antics.

[poormeowmeowcollector]

Two Gals Sitting On An Elevator Because They're Not Gay

Pairing: Lady Loki/Female Reader

Warnings: claustrophobia, panic attacks

Summary: with the power cut off, you get trapped in an elevator with Loki.

Notes: after being tempted by a certain lady *coughcough* @lucywrites02 *coughcough*, my bisexual thirsty ass needed Lady Loki, okay?

Read On AO3

You're pacing down the corridor, the shoes slamming rhythmically on the tile floor. It's just your first meeting and you're already late.

You slide into the elevator right before it closes, pressing the button and staying put in a corner.

"Good day," a posh voice greets. You turn to face a woman around your age, black locks of hair framing her sharp and pale face, her green eyes scanning you. She's also dressed nicely, a black leather jacket and jeans with old boots and a green tee, some gold jewelry here and there. And she is holding four cups of coffee, the biggest ones the shop inside the Tower has to offer.

"Good day," you smile and nod, eyes still on her. You can swear she looks familiar, apart from illegally attractive. "Excuse me, but have we met again? You look familiar," you mutter, already regretting it. Gosh, you sound like a freak.

"Perhaps from the TV, when the attack took place," she answers, voice low and deep. You stop and think for a bit. The only women on the TV from back then were Agent Hill and Agent Romanov, and this woman is much taller and paler than both of them. You're ready to ask for more information, in hope of recognising her.

"Apologies, I looked different then. I'm Loki," she explains, a tint of anxiety in her eyes.

"It's fine, don't bother with it. Oh, by the way, what're your pronouns?" you ask, secretly glad to see that anxiety dying out.

"Thank you, she/they for now," she smiles, still small and distant. You nod and stay silent, feeling that there's nothing more to add to the convention. Loki agrees with it.

There is a silent agreement among humanity, one that says that we cannot stare when inside an elevator. But your eyes can't stop trying to steal glances. It's not the superhero fact, you knew very well that you needed to acknowledge the fact that you're on the tower and respect those people's boundaries the moment you got the job. It's how damn beautiful they are, even though she's just standing there.

Then, you can't stare altogether, because the lights are out and the elevator comes to a halt.

"What just happened?" There's an obvious panic on Loki's voice, accompanied by a small breeze.

"Probably the power was cut off. A second generator or the reactor will turn on again soon, don't worry. We just need a light so we don't bump into each other…" you mutter, trying to find your phone.

Which you, apparently, forgot at home when you rushed here. Great!

"Do you happen to have something that can light up the place?" You ask, trying not to groan. A small lantern appears on the centres of the small box, lighting it up with a green light.

"Nice, relaxing," you smile at Loki, watching as they nod from their tiny corner. You sigh and go to the door, trying to open it.

"Allow me," Loki appears from behind you and digs her fingers into the small split, the metal bending around them. With one flex of their hands, the doors are torn apart, only to reveal a wall. There's no light or air coming from below or above, you're trapped exactly between the floors.

"JARVIS, tell Stark that we're here," she sighs and turns towards the black screen that is supposed to be the board. Nothing happens.

"Maybe the AI needs power to work. They'll find us. Until then, we should get comfortable," you suggest as you sit down, facing the green lantern. Loki hums but doesn't sit. Instead, they walk around in circles like a caged animal and mess with their fingers (the coffees are on a corner), an obvious nervous gesture.

Without thinking about it, you grab your fidget toy from your bag and wait until Loki walks in front of you so you can kick her gently. "What?" They ask, glaring at you. You smile and offer the toy, watching her expression becoming softer as she takes it and starts messing with it instead of her fingers.

"I apologise, but I don't have the best experience with closed rooms, they're like cages," they laugh, the nervous kind of it.

"No need to apologize," you shrug, mentally trying to think of a way to make it more bearable. Damn, you should have searched for it while you had the chance…

The elevator gets colder, distracting you for the mental barade on how ignorant you are. "Could we run out of air?" Loki asks, stopping the walk and staring at you.

"There's a vent on the ceiling and air coming from the holes in the door so, no," you take it literally. It probably won't help but she still nods and tries to smile.

They sit down, opposite to you, and keep playing with the toy, eyes lost. Her lips are muttering things in a language that comes to your ears as a combination of trills, groans and gagging sounds. Their skin becomes clammy and pale and their eyes glassy, shoulders jumping up and down faster than before.

You're not an expert, but this is not a good sign.

Your breath comes out visible from the cold as you call Loki's name. She doesn't respond. Instead, they throw the toy down and curl into a ball, head hidden and something between wheezing and sobbing coming out of them. Her hands, tight around her curled feet, have a green glow on the fingers, like fire threatening to burn everything down.

You move closer and call their name again, hoping you won't starle them and make it worse. She doesn't flinch, but doesn't respond either. "Hey, it's okay. It's okay. You're safe. You will be fine, alright? You'll be fine," you whisper, again to no avail.

You try to run your hand against the green flames, still repeating those words and warning her. It covers your fingers too, giving you a numbing sensation of a sleeping limp.

Then, Loki literally grabs you like you're a teddy bear and squeezes you, but gives you enough freedom to do the same. You're afraid to apply pressure but they squeeze you back, almost asking you to mimic them.

So, you hug each other for dear life, your hands drawing patterns on her back. Against your body, their heart pounds like it's going to break out and their lungs move faster than light, their whole body shaking and feeling clammy and cold. She's resting her head against your shoulder, tears streaming down as she fights for air.

"Shhhh, it's okay, it's okay. You'll be okay. It will pass, I promise. Just try to breathe and wait, okay? You're not alone in this one, you're not. Everything will be okay," you whisper again and again against their ear, hoping to help somehow.

It takes time and effort for Loki to finally draw a full breath, even though a shaky one. You smile and praise her for it, happy to hear the next ones being more full of air and feel her body steady.

But there's a cold wave again.

"Sh- I'm so sorry… I-I… I had no control…" they mutter and break the hug, head hanging down with shame.

"Since you're better, it doesn't matter," you smile, trying to find her hand again. She's quick to cup yours with hers, squeezing and tracing lines with her thumb.

"Then, thank you," they raise their head and give you a weak smile, eyes still glassy from the tears.

"Don't mention it. Em… do you want me to step back, give you space?"

She nods a no. "Actually, I would ask for the exact opposite," they whisper, trying to maintain the smile. You turn around and sit beside her, your upper body resting against the metal wall.

"You're free to go ahead, you know," you let them know. Without a warning, not that you needed one, she tangles her hand against your and lays on your shoulder, breathing heavily. You move your own hand against their waist, bringing them closer.

"Can I ask, why do you feel so safe with me? You're literally a goddess," you ask.

"You aren't a threat. When you," she stops to take a breath, "when you touched my seiðr, it felt safe," they explain, voice wheezing just so.

"The green fire thing?" You furrow your brows. Loki gives you a hum.

Neither speaks for a long time, you stay put where you are. But it's not awkward at all. In fact, it's quite comfortable. She stays there, the small and occasional squeezing on your side by her hand is the only proof that she hasn't fallen asleep, but it's obvious how the attack drained her.

Then, they start humming a tune, completely foreign to your ears.

"What's that song?" You ask out of the blue, praying you won't starle her.

"An old lullabye Frigga used to sing to me and Thor when we were small. She said it has a protection spell to keep creatures of the night away," they sigh. Only from the myths, you recognise the name.

"It probably is inappropriate to ask, but do you mind singing it out loud? The melody sounds sweet," you suggest, voice small. Loki chuckles.

"My singing is terrible in this form, I was unfortunately trained to sing only with the male voice and there's no way I'm turning into him anytime soon,"

"Oh, okay then," you nod at her response, convinced that that's the end of the discussion. Loki stays silent for some long moments, and then they straighten themselves against the wall.

"Come, lay here. If I am to do it, better do it the way she did," she argues, petting her thigh. Whatever bisexual alarms exist in your brain start beeping like bomb sirens from the WWII, so loudly that you swear they can hear them.

"We're strangers…" it's all you manage to say. Loki responds with a shrug.

"Yes, and?"

You nod and do as she commanded, your eyes put on hers. They smile and take some deep breaths, you don't know if it's to gather courage or air.

Then, she starts singing. The sounds are still rough and hard, like their mumbling earlier, and the melody is completely foreign to your ear. It doesn't stop it from being magical. You soon close your eyes and find yourself relaxing in her lap, drunk in her voice.

Their foot jerks, hitting your head and making you groan as you land face–first on reality. "You could at least pay some attention," she scolds, icy eyes glaring at you.

"I'm sorry, I got lost in the song. But your singing is stunning," you try to explain yourself, but their face doesn't seem to soften.

"You could use a better lie, I sound like a dying goose," she maintains her serious face, or façade, even though you start grinning.

"Now who's lying?" you tease, rising up and going back to your previous position beside them. Her cheeks go pink and then red, the blush spreading to her ears and her lips turning into a thin line.

And gosh, they're so adorable!

"I-" she stammers, seconds before hiding her burning face between her fingers and muttering in Old Norse.

"Hey, are you alright?" you ask, worried you might have triggered another attack. They nod and sigh, revealing their now pinkish face.

"I apologize, it just started to hurt," she whispers, eyes looking down at her hands. You shrug one shoulder.

"You have nothing to apologize for." They smile at the answer, laying back at your shoulder and digging their nose in your neck, long cold fingers grabbing your hand and playing with it as tickling fire comes and goes. She digs her head out, watching carefully your hand's reaction to the fidgeting.

"You have a beautiful hand, you know that?" they mutter, almost you themselves.

"Thank you," you don't know if you giggle from the comment or the tickling coming from her seiðr. They hum, consecrated on your hand and maintaining a second wave of comfortable silence for several minutes.

"What do you plan to do when we get out?" she asks out of the blue, leaving your hand alone and hiding back to your neck.

"Make sure I'm not fired, apologize to my boss, probably get something to eat since I didn't have time for breakfast…" you whisper, scared of breaking the silence.

"If Stark fires you, he dies, slowly," they don't break the calm with the threat, but you still giggle at it.

"Thank you, sweetie. What're you planning to do?" you beam and move some hair away from her face as she turns around.

"Move to a balcony, smoke the whole tobacco industry, never use an elevator again, and kill Stark," they shrug, gazing at the metal wall in front of you.

"Sounds like a plan," you grimace and fail to hold back a shiver. When did it get so cold again?

Loki starts to quiver too, but you bet it's not from the cold.

"Loki?" you keep quiet, hoping you won't scare her. They don't respond.

Instead, she just sits there, like a statue, vacant eyes on the wall.

"Loki, you're safe now. Okay? You'll be alright. I promise, you'll be just fine," you start whispering again, raising a hand to hold them.

Your head gets slammed against the wall. Loki stands in front of you, her eyes glowing green and filled with rage and a flaming punch being ready to launch in your face. You raise your hands in surrender, praying that they'll see them instead of the way you shiver from fear.

Her eyes soften, and then water up. "You're not- Oh Norns, I'm so- Oh Gods!" they stammer and walk back, their whole body shaking. She stops on the neatest wall, her feet collapsing and making her fall down.

They need space, you know that, but you still walk closer. "It's okay, you didn't mean to," you whisper, now careful not to touch without permission.

"I almost…" she mutters, hiding her face behind her hands.

"Almost. You didn't do it," you debunk, hoping it will somehow help.

Plus that punch couldn't be so bad. Expect that they're able to bend metal… minus the magic… Nevermind, you'd break your skull.

"Hey, did you listen? You didn't do it. It was close, yes, but it didn't happen," you repeat, sure that her thinking was louder than your speaking.

"Could you… could you stop talking? Please?" they whisper, removing their hands from their face to glare at you.

You nod, waiting for another way to help. She pats the metal beside her, and you move there, letting her lay on your shoulder again.

"You know, I never thought of you as a cuddler…" you comment.

"If you tell anyone, I will kill you," they growl. You nod, sure she didn't feel like joking.

You stay still as they move around to get more comfortable, ending again on your shoulder but this time their body is relying on yours and their nose brushing your neck. For someone as thin, you didn't expect her to be that heavy, but you're not getting crushed, literally, so you don't complain.

"What happened? Did the snake eat your tongue?" they purr, and you get to feel their sinuses vibrating as they speak.

"You asked for silence," you shrug your free shoulder, turning to face her. They hum and go silent again, pressing their face harder on your neck.

"Oh, apologies," she whispers, after a yawn so soft you thought it's just a sigh, her voice dragged and half asleep.

"It's fine, you can even sleep," you whisper back, smiling as they smile at you and dive further down.

And maybe five minutes later, her breath evens out and deepens. You stay even more still, they had maybe three panic attacks, they must be exhausted. So, in order to entertain yourself, you decide to daydream and maybe count the deep sighs she releases against your neck.

At about ten sighs, the elevator starts moving down, which is enough to wake them up. "They're getting us out?" she asks and yawns, eyes on the wall that reveals the door of the lower floor.

Someone digs their fingers on the other metal wall and opens it. The sunlight makes you cover your eyes.

"Sister, are you well?" Thor's voice literally bombs as he runs inside.

"Be quiet, you idiot…" they respond, basically jumping up before Thor can realise that you were cuddling. You follow her path.

"Oh, a Mortal. Are you well?" Thor turns his eyes on you.

"Yes, yes. Is Mr Stark here, by any chance?" you mutter. The characteristic sound of the suit walking towards you is enough of an answer.

"Yes, miss. Don't worry, you're not fired. In fact, since you are now needed more spontaneously, you'll move here. And before you ask, yes, that's a promotion," he moves the metal mask out of his face to deliver the good news.

"Also, how did Loki not kill you?" Captain America pops up and asks.

"They were hugging when I opened the door," Thor answers before you can muster a lie. Your first reaction is to bite your lip and turn to Loki, whose face has gone all pink from the shame.

"No, no! She was scared and asked for it. I committed out of pity!" they make up a lie. All three heroes turn to you.

"Yes, yes, exactly. It was terrifying. Now, if I could… pack up my things? Yes… Gotta go, sorry…" you stammer and walk back, towards the staircase.

"Wait, I… I can help you. With the seiðr and superstrength and all…" Loki also stammers and follows you.

You walk down a level in complete silence, waiting to be 100% sure no one is listening. "They will never let that die out…" Loki sighs, her hand brushing her bright red cheeks.

"Definitely… in order to make up for the embarrassment, may I tempt you to dinner? On Friday? I know a nice place," you smirk, hoping to appear less messy.

They offer you a mischievous grin, her eyes shimmering in the dark staircase. "Temptation managed,"

[rainydayhogwartsimagines]

Hey, Sister (Fred x Reader)

Summary: Harry’s older sister goes to Beauxbatons and spends the school year at Hogwarts. However you seemed to have met a student who has his eye on you.

Notes: Set in a non Voldemort au. Honestly I came up with this one after I wrote the little sister one where she likes Draco. It’s been in my head ever since, hope you guys enjoy it!

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You were a sharp and quippy person when you were a little kid. You got that from James, most definitely. Remus was your favorite of the uncles, him always encouraging you to strive for greatness. James took up a job with the ministry, sometimes having to travel. The family would sometimes get to go with him and that was the case one year in France. You got to see Beauxbatons in person and became HELLBENT on going. James naturally didn’t want you to go, after all you were his babygirl and he didn’t want you that far away. While Lily shared your sentiments, she saw how you looked at the place. She couldn’t tell you know. And we all know Lily runs the Potter household.

So you went, enjoying your time there making friends, having fun and coming back home for the summer and holidays. You loved your little brother and he loved you, telling you of all the fun events in Hogwarts, wishing that you got to see and spend more time with him. This year was different though. You came home for the summer as usual but you didn’t have a ticket to fly back to France. “Y/n, are you not going back to Beauxbatons?” James asked quietly. “We’re participating in the Triwizard tournament this year. We’re going to Hogwarts!” you said making Harry practically scream and hug you. “CAN SHE GO TO THE BURROW WITH ME PLEASE!?” Harry asked almost like a five year old. Lily chuckled. “Alright, but the first two weeks she spends them here. We missed her too y’know.” Lily said making Harry hug you tighter. “Christ for a fourteen year old you’re strong!” you wheezed. “I get that from Quidditch.” Harry said making you roll your eyes. You spent the two weeks at home, telling Remus and Peter all about your time at the school while doing slightly borderline illegal shit with Sirius. Finally though, you went to the Burrow, Harry practically bouncing with excitement. You walked in and Molly hugged you, instantly making you love the woman. “Harry has told me so much about you!” Molly said. “Harry has mentioned this place so much I almost know the entire layout already.” You chuckled. “Ron! This is my sister Y/n!” Harry introduced. You curtsied (A fun little thing that became a habit after joining Beauxbatons), making Molly smile. “So polite!” She chuckled before someone came downstairs. Fred was unaware you were even there, grabbing an apple before looking over and seeing you. He locked eyes with you and your heart basically drowned out any sound. “Who... Who’s this?” Fred asked. George walked in, also looking at you. However Fred was GLUED to you. “This is Y/n!” Harry said with a smile. “...Harry... You have some fantastic genes.” George said. “That’s my sister you jacka--” “Harry.” You halted him, nodding to the adults present. Fred extended a hand to you and you shook it, noticing his hands were calloused but still soft. Your eyes reflected off of his and he was captivated. “She’s going to Hogwarts with us this year for the Triwizard tournament.” Harry said. “Is she now?” George asked. Fred seemed to be speechless by you. “Yes, Beauxbatons is very proper though, I’m kind of terrified that kids from our school will be EATEN ALIVE.” You admitted. “We’re not... That bad.” Ron said. “Aren’t you worried about ‘being eaten alive’?” George asked. “No, if anything I know me and you two will get along.” You said. “And why’s that?” George asked. “Because I am a prankster at Beauxbatons.” You answered. “Pretty and a sense of humor, Freddie you must be dying right now.” George teased, noticing his brother’s prolonged silence. “She should hang with us.” Fred finally said. “hmm. Might take you up on that.” You said with a smile.

Then came the first day with the Beauxbatons. Fred saw you in that uniform and nearly dropped to the ground. Your hair was in a low ponytail, resting on your shoulder as you sat with your school. Fred for the life of him, could not fucking focus on ANYTHING Dumbledore was saying. He just kept staring. George was smiling like a git, noticing his brother being infatuated with you. “The Beauxbatons will be staying with the Gryffindors.” Was the only thing Fred heard making him look at Dumbledore and then you. “Let the opening feast commence!” Dumbledore announced. You got up, sitting next to Harry and Fred. “Excited for the tournament?” You asked Harry. “Meh. I’m just glad you’re here, you’re never here.” Harry said making you rough up his hair. “So you’re his sister?” Hermione asked. “Yes I am.” You nodded with a smile. “How is someone like you related to him?” Draco asked. “Shut up Malfoy.” Ron and Hermione said in unison. “And you must be Draco.” you said. “Yes I am. At least someone will be introducing class to Gryffindor.” Draco said. You looked at Harry and smirked. You turned around and faced George. “You said you’re a prankster?” You asked. “Yes dear, best in the business.” George said. “Great. I need your assistance. Both of you.” You said with a look of deviousness that made Fred’s heart practically bang in his chest. So there you three were, sneaking into the Slytherin dorm at an ungodly hour to ensure no one would find you. The maurader’s map Sirius gave you also helped out with this little venture. “Where the hell did you even get this?” George asked in a low whisper as you gripped a “Nair” bottle. “I have some fantastic uncles.” You whispered. You ended up shaving the boy’s eyebrows off in his sleep, sneaking back to the Gryffindor common room. You sat around and George practically passed out while you sat on the couch with a mug of tea looking at the fire. “Think you’ll sign up for the tournament?” you asked Fred. “Maybe. Might could use the prize money for George’s and I’s business.” Fred shrugged. “Is that the prank shop you have set up?” You asked. “You know about that?” Fred asked. “Harry tells me everything that goes on here.” you admitted. “I know that you and George are best friends. I know Ginny is shy but really smart. I know that you play quidditch. I know that you and George are very intelligent but don’t show any particular interest in academics like Hermione does. And I know that you have five brothers, one’s a curse breaker, one studies dragons, one is working for the ministry and the other two go to school with you.” you said. Fred rose a brow. “You listen to your brother talk that much?” Fred asked. You chuckled. “When you’re always away from home, you tend to cherish the moments you have with those around you.” You said looking at him. “...Why not come home?” he asked. “I’m not sure... Part of me is scared to ask my parents I guess.” you shrugged. “I’ve met your parents and I’m pretty sure James would practically piss himself of happiness with the way he talked about you.” Fred chuckled. “So you’ve heard about me too?” You asked. “God yes. You’re all anyone wanted to talk about when we celebrated Christmas with them.” Fred chuckled. You chuckled and leaned back with a yawn. “You should get some sleep, we have classes in the morning.” Fred said. You nodded and left, making Fred stare into the fireplace. You really loved your family...

The next morning while you were brushing your teeth you heard a VERY loud scream from the boy’s bathroom, making you smirk. You sat down at breakfast with Fred and George. “Heard the scream?” Fred asked. “How could I not, the kid gave moaning myrtle a run for her money.” You snorted. “I still think we should’ve dyed them.” George said. “Come now George, eyebrows grow back... We’ll dye them red and yellow to show he’s loyal to Gryffindor.” You said making Fred smile. The time finally came when names could be put in the cup. You put yours in, giving no particular reason except for “just felt like it.” Fred and George put their names in, Ron following soon after to impress Fleur. Soon you all sat in the Great Hall, waiting for names to be drawn. “Viktor Krum” “So you guys all signed up?” Neville asked. You all gave noises indicating yes. “Fleur Delacour.” “hmm.” you rose a brow, not realizing Fleur actually put her name in. “Fred Weasley.” Your eyes widened and everyone looked over at the poor bastard who’s drink just shot out of his nose. 

He came back to the common room with a bewildered look of shock on his face. “There’s our champion in the works.” George said. “My name was actually drawn. What the absolute fuck do I do now?” Fred asked. “We train.” You said, walking out of the girls dormitory in a blue sports bra, black leggings and your hair pulled back. “Wha-- Wha- hmm?” Fred asked, a blush about to come over him. “Fred, you’re acting like you’ve never seen a girl without her shirt.” George said in his ear. “It is different when it is her.” Fred said through his teeth. “I said: We train you. You’re about to go into a deadly competition of wits and physical stress. You need to be sharp and prepared.” You said. “Still, Y/n knowing how you train, don’t you think that’s a little much?” Harry asked. “Again. Deadly competition. None of us know what the hell is going on.” You said. “I’m down.” Fred nodded. “Of course you are.” George said making Fred kick his shin. “Great. Get changed, meet me by the lake.” You said walking out. “I’m so sorry.” Harry apologized. “For what?” Fred asked. “You’ll see.”

 “FRED WOULD YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GIVE ME TWENTY!” “Alright! Jesus woman, even Oliver doesn’t push this hard!” Fred said as he did push ups. “She is going to eat that boy alive.” Ron said watching you two from a distance. “Thank God we’re here to see it.” George snorted. “Do you usually train this hard!?” Fred winced. “I go to a school where fencing is an elective and you can get stabbed, yes Fred, I train this hard.” you said. “Can I please take off my shirt, it is WAY too fucking hot.” He whined. “I’m shirtless. Dude, I don’t care.” You said. He sat up, taking off his shirt and you cracked your neck before noticing abs. Oh Christ... Oh Christ he’s hot. He rose a brow. “Like something you see Princess?” He asked out of breath. You rolled your eyes. “We need to practice hand to hand combat.” You sighed. “Sorry. What?” he asked. “Dueling, actual dueling tends to happen. And I cannot stress this enough Fred, you are in a deadly competition. For all we know a gladiator fight could be a trial.” You said. “Still... I really don’t want to fight you--” You swept his legs out from underneath him, gripping his arm before he could hit the ground. “Shut the fuck up, quit treating me like a girl and fight..” You said sternly. He gulped, standing up straight. “Arms up.” You said, raising yours to your face. He copied your movements. “hit me.” You said. “Y/n--” “Hit me.” you repeated “I really don’t think--” “hit. me.” You said. “No--” “hit me-” “Y/n-” “hit me.” “If you say that one more time--” “Hit. me.” you said. He swung, you rolled under the punch and winded him. “Christ Y/n!” He wheezed. “You have to keep fighting Fred. Come on.” you said. “How did you even--” “Fred.” “Okay! okay.” He stood up, going back to his original position. You took a swing, him blocking it. “Good! Again!” you said. He took a swing, missing, but managed to avoid your next hit. “Good, you’re doing good.” You nodded. “Can we stop?” He asked. “Would Viktor or Fleur stop?” You asked. God damn your persistence. You took a swing, Fred gripping your arm and managing to pin you to the ground hanging over you. “Where’d you learn that one?” You asked. “Five brothers... Five.” he reminded. You laughed and he smiled, still holding your hands above your head. His knee was between your legs, face close to yours. He slowly let go of your hands and you did something he didn’t expect. You cupped his cheek and caressed your thumb against it. He swallowed, you looking in his eyes. What was going on in that pretty head of yours? You pulled back your hand and wiped your hand on your leggings. “You have dirt on your face.” You said. Oh. That’s what that was. He pulled back, sitting on his legs and running his fingers through his hair. Was it that necessary to look this attractive?  “We can stop. But we will do this every morning until your trial.” You said. “This hand to hand combat thing is terrible.” Fred sighed. “It’s for your survival.” You said, drinking from a water bottle. “You say that, but I’m beginning to think you liked being under me.” He said. You chuckled and shook your head. You stood up. “I never said I didn’t.” you said with a smirk, walking back to the common room. 

Fred swallowed hard, watching you walk away. Every morning from that point on you two would train, Fred getting quicker with his movements. You practiced dodging, running, anything you knew really. As he did this though, there were plenty of moments where he definitely caught you staring, eyeing him up and down. Course he was guilty of doing the same thing. Ron and George would watch you two basically mentally undress each other, Harry completely oblivious to what was clearly happening. Finally the first trial came. “Dragons!? I’m going to be in a ring with-- Charlie what the fuck!?” Fred gaped at his brother who couldn’t help but tell him. “Later today you’ll have to draw them from a bag. I’m sorry, I just got the news you were in this.” Charlie said. You walked into the common room, eye brow raised. “What’s going on?” You asked. “The first trial will be me in a ring with a dragon.” Fred said. You frowned. “Are you fucking serious?” You asked. Yep. Definitely your father’s child. “Afraid so.” Charlie said. “Who’s this?” You asked. “Charlie.” Fred sighed. “The one who studies dragons... Hmm... Any tips?” You asked. “Bob and weave. Serpentine and rocks are your friend.” He said. None of that made sense until today. Fred panted, leaning against a rock. “COME ON FRED!” George shouted from the stands. You were next to him, giving Fred a look of “you can do this.” Some how that was the motivator that Fred needed. He sprinted to another rock, closer to the gold egg. He dodged its tail, remembering how you showed him how to do a barrel roll. “KEEP YOUR FORM FRED!” You yelled. He chuckled to himself at your coaching and kept low, narrowly missing attacks until he had the egg in his hands. The dragon geared up and you frowned. Oh no. “BOB AND WEAVE!” you screamed as Fred noticed what alarmed you. He sprinted, taking his brother’s advice and serpentined across the ring before reaching the exit, earning a loud cheer from the crowed. 

“HE DID IT! Y/N DID YOU-- Y/n?” You were already gone, sprinting to the tent. Fred was out of breath when he got to the tent. You ran in and hugged him, nearly knocking him to the ground. He let out a relieved laugh and held you to him like you were the most precious thing to him. “You did it! I am so proud of--” you pulled away slightly, looking in his eyes as your noses were nearly touching. He kept you close, looking at your eyes and then your lips before George ran in, cutting his attention away from you. “You crazy bastard! You did it!” George said as you pulled away. “I literally thought my ass was toast.” Fred said making you laugh. You looked at the egg curiously. “Party in the Gryffindor common room!” George shouted. You kneeled slightly so you were eye level with the egg. “As long as I can sit. Down.” Fred said making George laugh. You pressed the egg, opening it before hearing the loud shriek come from it. Fred and George jumped as you slammed it shut. “What the bloody hell was that!?” George asked. "The egg!" You said, baffled by what it did. You ended up partying with the Gryffindors it of course being loud and fun. But FINALLY it died down and you could relax in peace. You looked at the egg and Fred sat next to you. "Why does it make noise?" You asked. "I have no idea. But it's loud." Fred said looking at it. "I'm still stuck on the fact that it makes sound, there has to be a reason it does." You said. Fred looked at it and sighed. You rose a brow. "Something wrong?" You asked. ".... I'm way in over my heard." He said. "What do you mean?" You asked. "Y/n, my challenge was a fucking dragon. The next one is probably going to be worse... What if I can't handle it?" Fred asked you. "Then you don't win." You said. "But that's not going to happen." You added. "Why are you so confident in me?" Fred asked curiously. "Because I have heard you do some off the wall shit. You're smart, you're quick, you're strong. You can do this." You said. He opened his mouth but you rose a brow to the little girl walking from the dormitory. "Gabrielle, is something wrong?" You asked. "I can't sleep and Fleur is already asleep. I didn't want to wake her." Gabrielle said. You patted your lap and she sat, you pulling her close. "Want me to sing the song?" You asked. Gabrielle nodded and you chuckled with a beautiful smile that Fred loved to see. You played with the girl's hair, brushing it out with your fingers as a way to relax her. "Hold me close and hold me fast this magic spell you cast this is le vi en rose." You sang surprising Fred as Gabrielle seemed to curl up in your lap. When you kiss me heaven sighs, and though I close my eyes I see Le vi en rose." You said, the girl's eyes slowly closing. "when you press me to your heart, I'm in a world apart where roses bloom and when you speak angels sing from above, every day words seem to turn into love songs." You continued, Fred absolutely mesmerized by your voice and smile. "Give your heart and soul to me and life will always be Le vi en rose." You finished, leaving the room completely silent aside from your breathing and the crackles from the fire in the fireplace. "Works like a charm every time." You chuckled in a low whispered. "You're close?" Fred asked in a low whisper, nodding to Gabrielle. "Fleur and her both. That year I wasn't there for Christmas I was with them." You said softly. Fred watched you with Gabrielle. "She's a light sleeper, I think I'm going to end up sleeping here." You chuckled. "I'll stay with you if you want." Fred said. "...I'd like that." You said with a smile. Fred couldn't help but smile at you. God you were so beautiful. He couldn't focus around you, he would trip over his own two feet sometimes, George pestering him nonstop. You turned back to the fire and Fred moved slightly closer to you. "I wouldn't worry about the competition." You said to him. "I'm... It's hard to do this when your mother's voice is going off in your head 'OH GOD THAT'S NOT SAFE'" he said making you chuckle. "I have faith in you Fred... You've got this." You assured, this sincere look. You two sat in silence for a while, Fred thinking nothing of it until your head landed on his shoulder. He looked at you and smiled, pressing a kiss to your forehead as you slept. "Goodnight Princess."

You woke up the next morning on him, blankets covering you, Gabrielle and Fred. You got up, Gabrielle dressing for the day and you getting up with the egg. Fred finally woke up, finding you with the egg on the floor, staring at it from all angles. "....What the hell are you doing?" He asked. "I'm Sherlocking. It's not working." You said looking at the golden egg. Fred sat cross legged next to you. "this is really bothering you." Fred snorted. "Why does it make noise!?" You repeated your question. "By this point I want to just drown the damn-- wait." You gasped. "New murder plot?" Fred asked. "No! I figured it out! You need a bath." You said handing it to him. ".....Y/n what the hell?" Fred snorted. "Oh-- come on." You said pulling him up and walking to the bath. You started filling the tub and he rose a brow. "....Y/n, what the hell are we doing?" He asked. "We could go to the girl's room but you'd have to deal with Moaning Myrtle." You said. "No, why are you so insistent--" you took the egg out his arms and "about a bath? Are you trying to see me naked?" He asked making you blush and roll your eyes. "We're not actually taking a bath you dolt." You said. "Speak for yourself, I still have ash in my hair from yesterday." Fred said stripping making you turn around. "You're welcome to join me." He yawned. "Just go underwater and listen to the egg." You said, your back turned. "Compromise, I keep my underwear on and you listen to it with me in case I miss something." He said. "Why are you so determined to--" he said nothing, putting a hand on your forehead and pulling you back into the bath. "FRED!" You screamed, a loud splash from you as you fell in. "I'm all wet you moron!" You yelled. "I know, I tend to have that effect on girls." Fred laughed as you splashed him. You shook your head and went under, making him raise a brow. You didn't resurface for a while but you shot out when you did. "I WAS RIGHT!" you said making him nearly fall over. "The egg sings!" You said. "What--" you yanked Fred under, looking at the egg it sang. "Come seek us where our voices sound, We cannot sing above the ground, And while you're searching, ponder this: We've taken what you'll sorely miss, An hour long you'll have to look, And to recover what we took. But past an hour - the prospect's black Too late, it's gone, it won't come back" you both popped up for air and Fred coughed. "You were right!" Fred said. "I know, I'm a genius. But I'm getting confused, this is a mermaid singing... Are there mermaids somewhere on campus?" You asked. "In the lake that we usually train by." Fred nodded. "Great. So the next trial is in water... You're retrieving something... What though?" You asked. "I'm not sure... It said I lost it." He said. "Lose anything lately?" You asked. "No." Fred muttered pondering. His focus was broken by the wet clothes currently clinging to your body, showing your curves in way that made it very hard to even form words. "Would you stop staring!?" You said splashing him. He gave you a cheeky grin, splashing you and you sighed. "You're a child." You said.... Before splashing him back. You two continued this goofy little routine and he wrapped his arms around you, flinging you both into the water. You laughed and he smiled. You two were panting from the laughter and stared at each other. Fred was almost prepared to risk it all in that damn bath if it hadn't been for breaking the eye contact and pulling the egg back up. You went back to dorms, changing before leaving to class. "Y/n, dear would you mind coming with me?" Mcgonagall asked. Fred's next trial began and it was fucking cold, breaths being visible. "Of fucking course it's cold." Fred whined. "Where's Y/n?" Harry asked. ".... She's not with you?" Fred asked. "No, I thought she was with you." Fred said. "I've been thinking she was with Fleur." George said. Fred walked over to the girl. "Hi, have you seen Y/n?" He asked. "Ze lake." Fleur said. "What?" Fred asked. "Ze challenge is to retrieve a precious item lost..." Fleur reminded "I know that, I'm asking--" then it hit Fred, him locking eyes onto the dark waters. "No." Fred said. George frowned as Fred walked back over, pacing. "Fred what's going on?" George asked. "She's in the lake!" Fred said. "Champions take your places!" Dumbledore announced. Fred stood at the edge, Neville slipping him something to breathe underwater with. "Thanks Longbottom." Fred said. "On your marks." Dumbledore said. "Good luck Weasley!" A boy shouted. "GO!" was all Fred heard before downing whatever Neville gave him. jumping and colliding with the water. It was fucking cold. He was swimming, looking for you frantically before noticing a tail slink past. Shit. He swam as quickly as possible, finally finding you. He untied you, using his wand to keep the mermaids at bay before Krum got Hermione out of there. "I cannot believe they put my fucking sister in a LAKE. IN WINTER. MY MOTHER WILL KICK YOUR ASS!" Harry yelled before George slammed his hand over his mouth. "Calm down! Fred isn't going to let anything happen to her!" George assured. Viktor came back up, Hermione shivering from the cold. Fred came up soon after, you gasping for air as you left the lake. "Christ it's fucking cold!" You breathed. Fred hugged you tightly, nearly making you fall back. You noticed Fleur empty handed as you pulled away and frowned. "Fleur, où est Gabrielle?" You asked. "Je n'ai pas pu la faire sortir du lac!  les sirènes!" She answered frantically. "What's wrong?" Fred asked, his hand on your back. "Gabrielle is down there still!" You said. The worry and pure fear in your eyes nearly broke him. So... He jumped back in. "FRED!" You screamed, running to the edge with a bunch of other students. One second seemed way too long now, all of you watching-- waiting to see what would happen before he shot back out with Gabrielle. Fleur hugged Fred, thanking him for retrieving her sister.⁸ You hugged Fleur and Gabrielle both, thankful your friends were safe. Fred wrapped himself in a towel before you stood up, walking over to him. He was talking to George when you turned his head by putting a hand on his cheek and kissed it. His face was almost hysterical but it was soon replaced by determination as he slinked his arm around your waist, pulling you forward and kissing you. George and Ron both almost slammed Harry down to stop him from disrupting this. You let out a laugh as he rested his forehead on yours. He noticed your hands were freezing, picking them up and warming them with his breath. "I'm glad you kissed me." You chuckled, him letting out a small laugh. "I've been waiting to do that all fucking summer." He said making you giggle. You and Fred were more... Couply now. Training would take adorable turns when he'd just pick you up after you charge at him and kiss the side of your head. You and him were close, him absolutely adoring you. Despite you two now dating, you never held back in training (Fred would be forced to use full strength because damn for the dainty thing you looked like you could pack a REALLY strong punch), you'd ease up on the yelling sure. But never once did you go soft on his ass when it came to combat. Fred had a new challenge today though. Dancing. Look, the boy is a fucking goofball, his idea of dance is a scene from footloose. You were helping Mcgonagall teach the class seeing as dancing was something you HAD to learn in your second year. Mcgonagall would hide the forming smile when she saw you with Fred, teaching him this. "Fred it's one, two three, come on now." You chuckled. "Love, I cannot DANCE. Not like this." Fred said. "Anyone can dance, you just have to have the right teacher. Maybe I should get Mcgonagall to teach you--" he pulled you closer "Don't you dare." He said with a laugh. You smiled, showing him. "There we go! See I know you could do it!" You chuckled. "Say, this is for that dance..." Fred began. "Mmhmm?" You asked. "Would you maybe want to go with me?" He asked. You snorted. "Fred we're dating. It was implied you and I were going together." You laughed. "I wanted to ask you formally Love, I can never be too sure." He said making you nod with a laugh. "At least you didn't ask me like George did Angela which was just him doing terrible movements while Snape geared up to kill the boy." You snorted making Fred laugh. Hogsmeade was now approaching though, making you very excited. Fred wasn't too sure why until you dragged him to the three broomsticks with Harry. "UNCLE MOONY!" You squealed, hugging a man with a scar on his face. "Y/n! Oh it's so good to see you!" Remus chuckled. "Uncle Padfoot! My man!" Harry said, hugging Sirius. You hugged Peter and motioned for Fred to come over. "Hey, you're the Weasley boy!" Sirius recalled. "Yeah, Sirius right?" Fred asked. "Yep! Good to see you!" Sirius said. "What brings you to us?" Remus asked. "Y/n's persistence." Fred teased making you smile. "You've become good friends!" Peter said. ".... They're dating Worm tail." Harry said making all of the men now stare daggers at Fred. "Dating?" Remus asked. "Does Prongs know?" Sirius asked. "No." Harry said. "Oh please don't tell him until I can see his face." Sirius begged. "Where is mum and dad anyway?" You asked. "What?" Fred asked.  "You've already met them." Harry said. "NOT IN THIS CAPACITY!" Fred whined. "Reminds me of Sirius with Marlene." Peter snorted, resulting in Sirius smacking his arm. "Actually I have something to tell all of you." Sirius said. You finally saw that red hair though and you smiled. "Mum!" You said. "Oh god oh god oh god." Fred muttered. "Y/n! Fred-- George? Which one of you are you?" Lily said. "Fred ma'am." He said, now nearly sweating through his shirt. "What's wrong with this kid?" James asked. Sirius resisted a loud laugh as you pulled a chair out for your dad. "Dad. Sit." You said. "....Why?" James asked. "Sit." You said using the same stern voice your mother does. He sat as an instinct. "Fred and I have started dating." You said. James' jaw dropped and Sirius snorted. "You're dating my baby girl?" He asked. "Congratulations dear." Lily said to you. "Thank you mum." You said. "YOU'RE DATING MY BABY GIRL!?" James screamed. "Oh God." Fred whined. "Dad, calm down." You said. "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU." James yelled. "Fred... Run." You said. "Legs. Won't. Move." Fred whined. You gripped his hand and sprinted out, James running after you. "THIS IS NOT WHAT I HAD IN MIND FOR A FUCKING FIELD TRIP!" Fred whined. "Running practice!" You said with a laugh. "I'M GOING TO WRING THIS FUCKER'S NECK!" James screamed. "JAMES WOULD YOU CALM DOWN!?" Lily yelled. Students noticed you and Fred running but thought nothing of it until a fucking parade of adults ran after you two. "What the hell is going on!?" Cedric gaped. "....Potter." McGonagall said gritting her teeth. 

James cut you off with a deranged look in his eyes. "DAD WOULD YOU FUCKING COOL IT!?" You asked. "MY BABY GIRL!? THERE ARE AT LEAST FOURTY DIFFERENT GIRLS ON CAMPUS AND YOU CHOSE MY DAUGHTER!?" James asked. Fred gulped and looked at Lily for help. "JAMES. CALM. DOWN." Lily snapped. "HOW ARE YOU CALM!?" James asked motioning to Fred. "She's sixteen James, I'm honestly amazed she hasn't dated anyone before this." Lily said. "Wait I'm your first boyfriend?" Fred asked looking at you. You had your face in your hand, letting out a long groan. "Prongs, he is a good kid! She could be doing worse!" Sirius said. "Sirius, have kids! Then you'll get it!" James groaned. "That's why I'm here you prat; Marlene is pregnant!" Sirius said making the group turn to him wide eyes. "YOU CHOSE A FUCKING HOMICIDE ATTEMPT TO TELL US YOU'RE HAVING A KID!?" Remus asked. "Surprise!" Sirius said. "TOO MANY VARIABLES. BRAIN CRASHING." James yelled. "Dad knows the word variable?" You asked. "Apparently." Lily nodded, equally surprised "I WANT TO KILL THE BOY, CAN I KILL THE BOY!?" James asked. "No. That's homicide." Lily said. "I WANT TO KILL SOMETHING BY HUGGING RIGHT NOW I'M SO CONFLICTED." James yelled. You walked up to Sirius and hugged him. "I am so happy for you Uncle Padfoot. This kid is going to be so loved." You said with happy tears falling. Sirius hugged you tightly. "He will have the greatest Godmother in the world." He said making you pull away with wide eyes as Remus held back James from choking Fred behind you. "I'm--" "I was going to ask you formally, you and Harry both are the godparents until one of you gets married then it's you and your spouse." He said calmly. You hugged him again and he saw the sight behind you of Lily smacking James upside the head as Fred used Harry as a shield. "I like the boy by the way. He looks at you the same way your parents do... er... Did." He corrected seeing Lily successfully closeline James as he booked it forward towards Fred. You winced as you saw it. "Lilyyyy!" James whined. "CALM. DOWN." she said. She got up gripping Fred's arm and putting him next to you. "We approve--" "Lily!" James whined. "WE. APPROVE." she snapped. You blinked a few times as James grumbled sitting cross legged in the snow. You all went back to the three broomsticks Fred sitting close to you as James gritted his teeth. "So do you know what gender it is yet?" Lily asked. "We find out next week." Sirius said. "I'm proud of you Sirius." Remus said. "What about you and that Tonks girl hmmm?" Sirius asked, nudging his side. Remus flushed pink and you smiled. "I've met her before, she's a sweet girl. Kickass. But sweet." You nodded. "Hmmm. While we're on the topic of love, Fred." Sirius said. Fred looked up. "What drew you to our little Y/n?" Sirius asked. Fred swallowed and blushed making you raise a brow. "I... I just got to know her and I... I don't know I just..." He sighed. "I love her." He said making everyone look at him alarmed. "You... Love me?" You asked. "Yeah... I wanted to tell you for awhile and not in front of your family but I do." He said. Remus smiled as you kissed him, smiling and putting your head on his shoulder. James twitched but Lily stomped on his foot making him yelp. "We're glad you two are together dear." Lily said. "Thank you mum." You said with a smile. The conversation went on, you keeping your head on Fred's chest as he played with your hair, occasionally saying something. James wanted to loathe this kid. But he just... He couldn't. Fred was so irritably like him that he just liked him.

You all got back to the school and you smiled, poking Fred's cheek as he was deep in thought. "What's going on in that pretty head of yours?" You asked. "...I think I have like... Twenty orders I didn't do today." Fred said. You kissed his cheek and he smiled. "And they can wait because you're here." He said kissing you. You chuckled. "You should get them done Freddie." You said, kissing his forehead before walking to the dorms. You sat on the cot that was Fleur's, talking to another British student from Beauxbatons that you regularly hung out with. "So you and that Fred boy." She said. "Someone's in lovvveee." Another girl said with a chuckle. "He's perfect." You breathed with a smile. "There's just something gnawing at me." One of the other girls said. "Hmm?" You asked. "What happens once we leave?" She asked. "What do you mean?" You asked. "We go to school in France. We don't exactly live close together Y/n." The girl said. You frowned. "I... Never thought about that." You admitted. "Don't worry about it." Your friend said. "But--" "Y/n most relationships fail because people are too focused on the future than to actually focus on the present. You and Fred will cross that bridge once you get to it." She said. You nodded. "When did you become so insightful?" A girl asked. "I'm not sure." She shrugged. You took that advice to heart living in the present with Fred. Not one moment came that you weren't smiling. When the Yule ball came, Fred was a mess. He was supposed to be presented. And on top of that he was supposed to participate in that ridiculous dance. Harry insisted on walking you down the stairs, saying that you could trip and break your neck. You assured him that wouldn't happen but still allowed him to do so. When Fred saw you all worry just... Instantly left him. He swallowed hard and looked at you as you dusted something off of Harry's shoulder. "Have fun Harry." You said him smiling and running over to Ron. You turned to Fred and smiled. "Look at you! My God you're handsome." You said with a smile. "Y/n you're..." He seemed speechless. You rose a brow. "God you're beautiful." He said. You smiled and he chuckled. "You're almost ethereal." Fred said with a chuckle. You kissed his nose, taking his hand and walking over to the other contestants. "Vous êtes belle Y/n!" Fleur said making you smile. "Toi aussi Fleur!" You chuckled. You and her went back and forth in French for a while, talking about something to do with how she felt about the next Trial and Fred watched you talk. How in the world were you keeping up with this? Like how are you this perfect holy fuck. The doors opened and you took your place next to Fred, walking about holding his arm. "You've got this Love." You said with a smile. "Can we talk about something to keep my mind off this whole dancing thing?" Fred asked. "Of course. So birds am I right?" You asked making him laugh as you took your place. "Sorry, your immediate conversation topic that you chose is birds?" Fred asked. "I hate geese." You said. Fred snorted and shook his head, dancing with you. "I'm more of a cardinal guy myself." He said making you smile. "Would it be cliche to say doves are pretty?" You asked as you danced, not missing a single step. "Doves look like fancy chickens." Fred said making you laugh. "I thought you were going to say fancy pigeons but you do with chickens!?" You laughed. "Pigeons are just street chickens, change my mind." Fred said. "Chickens can't fly!" You laughed. "Meh. Doesn't change them from being birds." He said making you laugh harder. The two of you finished the dance a slow song soon followed, Fred pulling you into his arms and you smiling. You kissed his nose and he smiled before clearing his throat. "Y/n... I really don't mean to be a downer... But what happens when you go back to France?" He asked. Your face dropped and you cleared your throat. "....I don't want to leave you." Is all you could say. You looked so pained in that expression and he held you close. ".... I'll wait then." He said. "What?" You asked. "Next year we're in our last year. We can wait Y/n... If you want. We'll send letters, we'll see each other on the holidays..." He suggested. You nodded. "I want. I definitely want." You said. "Then it's settled. I'll just wait for you." She shrugged making you smile. You kissed him, him smiling against your lips. "....Doves are still not chickens--" "They are fancy chickens!" He declared. "What are penguins then!?" "ARTIC CHICKENS--" "OH MY GOD" 

You and Fred spent every waking moment together, savoring every memory that you two have you two made. Finally it was the day of the last trial. He was kind of panicked but you were there. "You've got this Love." You said to him. He kissed you, resting his forehead on yours. "I love you." You said. "I love you too..." He said. "CHAMPIONS TAKE YOUR PLACES." The announcer said. He sighed, kissing your knuckles before walking out. You sat with Harry and George. "Nervous for him?" George asked noticing this expression on your face. "A little." You mumbled. "Mum and dad wanted to see the last trial, they're around here somewhere." Harry said. "They are?" You asked. "Yeah." He nodded. You got up and walked around until you found them. "Mum. Dad... Can I talk to you?" Fred stood at the start, clearly nervous. "Good luck Weasley." Krum said. "I'm surprised you know my name." Fred chuckled. "You're a contestant. Of course I do." He said. Fred shook his head and Fleur cracked her knuckles. "You're dating Y/n, correct?" She asked, the French accent being clear as she spoke. "Yes." Fred said. "Hurt her and I kill you."  She said making him open his mouth before the noise sounded off and they all booked it through the maze. "Christ this is creepy." He thought to himself, moving through the area. He stopped for a second, trying to figure out if he just accidentally went in a big circle when he felt something on his arm. He looked and saw the maze reaching out. His eyes widened and he booked it, running as fast as his legs could carry him before literally slamming into Krum. He turned around. "Weasley!?" Krum asked before noticing the maze behind him. "SHIT!" Fred yelled before sprinting down the maze with Krum behind him. Krum however tripped. Fred hesitated before Krum screamed "RUN!" and he nodded, booking it. He saw the cup, sprinting to it and gripping the handle. It was then he realized it was a port key, him hitting the ground hard as he landed. "Ow, holy fuck." He winced. He sat up, you sprinting to him and hugging him. He chuckled and you scattered kisses on his face. “You did it!” You said, him raising a brow before seeing the crowd who was cheering with the band playing as Harry, Ron and George all ran down. “SUCK IT PERCY!” George yelled earning a snort from you as Fred stood up.

Gryffindor had a massive party, all of you celebrating with smiles. “So what are you even planning to do with the money?” Ron asked. “What, hoping for some cash?” George asked, smacking him upside the head. “I’m using it for the business. We’re capitalizing on this bitch.” Fred said, earning a laugh from you. “I knew you could do it.” You nodded with a smile. “My coach also was very helpful, you beautiful thing you.” he said, kissing you with an arm around your waist. “I was serious about my threat.” Fleur said watching him. “You threatened Fred?!” You asked. “She did. But it was more of a ‘you hurt her you die’ situation. I’ve got a whole line of students who will brutally kill my ass if I do something wrong.” Fred said. “Myself included.” Harry said making you roll your eyes. “What can I say? I’m lovable.” You joked. “Oh yes you are.” Fred said earning a gag from Ron. “I feel like I just interrupted something.” George said. “Warning, you might want to back away from Y/n, her parents are coming.” Hermione said. Fred immediately stood back and you snorted as pure fear fell over his face when James entered. “Congratulations kid.” James said looking at him. “Thank you sir.” Fred said. James squinted at him, eyeing him up and down. “This place has not changed at all, holy shit.” Sirius said. “What are you guys doing here?” Harry asked. “Meeting with Dumbledore for something, passing the time while we have it.” Remus answered. Gabrielle ran over to you, talking to you about something making you giggle. Fred smiled, watching you talk to other students with your arms over Gabrielle. Remus took notice and put a hand on his shoulder. Fred looked over and then back at you. “Have you two talked about France?” Remus asked. “We’re going to try to stick through the last year of school... See each other on holidays and such.” Fred said, clearing his throat, his attention obviously still on you. “Think you’ll make it?” Remus asked. Fred watched you rough up Harry’s hair earning him swatting your hands away and Gabrielle giggling. “I’d wait a hundred years if it meant I could see her again.” He said, Remus nodding with a smile.

The last week of school was hard, you not wanting to leave your brother, new friends and Fred. The last night being one of tears and partings. You and the Beauxbatons sat together, Fred watching you with this expression that just... God he didn’t want you to leave. “ Of all the money that e'er I had I spent it in good company” A girl at the table sang, making you look up. “And all the harm I've ever done alas, it was to none but me” another sang. Great. The ending serenade. “And all I've done for want of wit” You sang with them. “To memory now I can't recall” you sang. “So fill to me the parting glass” You all sang, slowly raising glasses. “Good night and joy be to you all So fill to me the parting glass” The students sang, slowly rising “And drink a health whate'er befalls Then gently rise and softly call good night and joy be to you all” You all sang. “Of all the comrades that e'er I had” Fleur sang out, an arm around you as you held glasses up. They're sorry for my going away and all the sweethearts that e'er I had”  You all sang, looking at the scene around you. “They'd wish me one more day to stay but since it fell into my lot that I should rise and you should not” You all sang, students from Hogwarts joining in. “I'll gently rise and softly call good night and joy be to you all fill to me the parting glass and drink a health whate'er befalls then gently rise and softly call” You sang, walking to the Gryffindor table and Fred smiling sadly as he rose and held you. “Good night and joy be to you all” He sang with you making you smile. You extended a hand to George and he took it, hugging you as the school sang with the Beauxbatons. “I’m going to really fucking miss you.” George said. “Ditto Weasley.” You said, crying with smile. “since it fell into my lot that I should rise and you should not I'll gently rise and softly call” The voices around you sang as you shared a group hug with students from Gryffindor. You weren’t ready to let this go, not now. “Good night and joy be to you all so fill to me the parting glass and drink a health whate'er befalls then gently rise and softly call good night and joy be to you all” You all sang, more students slowly beginning to have tearful goodbyes. After all, other students had become good friends with students from the other schools. “Good night and joy be to you all” you all sang.

The next morning was honest to god one of the hardest things you’ve ever had to do. You gave tearful goodbyes to all of your new friends. But the pain of leaving only worsened as Fred approached you. He hugged you tightly, burying his face in the crook of your neck as you gripped his shirt. When you pulled away he pressed a kiss to your forehead and he blinked a few times. “I told myself I wouldn’t cry but damn it this is hard.” He said, letting out a sad laugh. “God, this is stupid! We’re seeing each other for the summer!” You whined, also crying. You kissed him one last time and hugged Harry before walking with the other girls. You gave one last glance to the group and walked away. George put a hand on his brother’s shoulder, pulling him close as to say “I’m here for you.” The next few days Fleur noticed you not showing much emotion. Your laughter was absent and she could tell you really got attached to Hogwarts when you went. You however were released early, school ending because of the tournament. You came home bags in hand a week before Harry would. Even James could tell something was making you sad. He hated seeing his little girl hurt this much. Lily however had a trick up her sleeve. She knocked on your doorway and you looked over, sitting in your window just watching the summer rain. “Hey mum.” You said softly. “Hi darling... Can we talk?” she asked, shutting the door behind her. You nodded at your desk chair and she sat down. “What’s eating at you sweetheart?” She asked. You cleared your throat, tears in your eyes as you spoke. “I don’t want to go back to Beauxbatons mum.” You said. She rose a brow. “You don’t?” Lily asked. “No... When I was at Hogwarts I just... I felt like I was home...” You said softly. “There’s a lot of reasons why I want to leave if  you need to hear them--” “Sweetie” “One: I want to be close when Marlene has the baby” “Sweetie” “Two: I want Harry to be there for my last year” “Y/n.” “I’d be closer to you guys” “I’ve already enrolled you into Hogwarts Y/n.” Lily said. You blinked. “What?” you asked. “And I got you something else.” She said. She handed you a packed bag and you rose a brow. “You’re staying with the Weasley’s.” She said. You threw your arms around her and James saw you off later that afternoon. 

Fred was relatively quiet on the train ride back, Ginny noticing him looking like he could break at any second. “Freddie... Are you okay?” She asked. “I miss her.” Fred murmured. Ginny hugged her brother and he basically moped the entire time walking to the car. He sighed, Arthur even taking notice to the newfound sadness over Fred. George sighed and poked his brother. “So when are we putting that prize money to use.” George asked, hoping to distract his brother. “Hmm... probably after graduation.” He said. “Right. Well maybe we could set up a plan over the summer.” George suggested. Fred nodded mindlessly and Harry sighed “You’ll see her for the summer Fred. Which is in like... A week.” “I know, I just miss her Harry. Let me mope in peace please.” Fred sighed. They got to the Burrow, Harry walking in and walking upstairs. He saw you and you put your hand over his mouth. “I’ll explain in a minute, go back down and tell me when Fred gets here.” You said. Harry nodded and walked back downstairs, wide eyed. “Harry? Are you alright? Did George gag your drink again?” Ron asked. “No uhhhh...” Fred walked in. “NOW!” He said and you walked downstairs. Fred’s eyes widened and he literally dropped everything, hugging you tightly. You chuckled in his arms and held his face. “What are you doing here!?” He asked. “They let us out early but I have more news.” You said. “is it good news?” Fred asked. “I’m finishing my last year at Hogwarts.” You said making everyone LOSE THEIR MINDS. You all celebrated that night, not one moment of you being seen without Fred. The night ended with you , George and Fred sitting outside with cider. “To the future.” You said holding out your glass. George and Fred clinked glasses with you before you all drank. 

The future was so fucking beautiful. You and Harry met your god daughter Olivia Juliet Black and basically vowed to kill anyone who even so much as looked at the kid wrong. You ended up working with Fred and George, opening the shop with them after graduation. Fred proposed and of course you said yes, later marrying that same year. Remus later married Nymphadora, them having your other god child, Teddy Edward Lupin. Bill Weasley ended up marrying Fleur, you being her maid of honor. You gave birth to your son Atlas Nicolas Weasley. There was not one day of your life that you didn’t enjoy. But let’s not focus on the future now. Let’s live in the present. 

“I cannot believe your sister actually transferred.” Draco griped. “Choose your next words carefully boy. I’ve got two bottles of hair dye with your name on it.” You said. “I KNEW THAT PRANK WAS YOU!” Draco gasped. “Shit.” You winced making Fred snort. “I’M GOING TO END YOU!” Draco yelled, wand drawn as you bolted down the hall with the twins, the sounds of your laughing echoing through the halls.

[scintillating-galaxias]

Ratchet was quite the party ambulance in his youth and as being Ratchet's good friend Thunderclash attended quite a few of these parties as well. Drift tried asking Ratchet about it once after Kup mentioned something, but Ratchet kinda brushed it off. Drift tells his amica Rodimus who has the great idea of asking Thunders. They're both quite surprised to hear about the things (possibly illegal /drugs / highgrade / property damage/ ect) the grumpy medic and greatest autobot got into in youth.

weee this took a while and im very sorry for that!! i ended up saving it for when i needed a break from classwork, and, well, here we are! this is real short and silly sdfhasjf -

“You want me to what?”

Drift frowned at Rodimus. “Don’t say it like it’s such a suspicious thing. It makes me look… suspicious.”

“No, I just mean—Really?” Rodimus snorted. “You think Ratchet’s actually able to back all those stories about his ‘glory days’ up?”

“Why not? Ratchet’s plenty of fun if you know how to bring it out of him.”

Rodimus rolled his optics. “‘Cause your definition of fun is so conventional,” he muttered into his drink. “Didn’t you already say Kup ignored the question when you asked? That mech dates back before Cybertron existed. If there were ‘legends of yore’ to tell,” he said, waving his servos sarcastically, “he’d tell you.”

Drift hesitated. “True, he didn’t give me a straight answer. But it wasn’t a no, either.” His finials sank slightly as he took a long, thoughtful drag from his cube. Then they shot back up with an almost-visible light-bulb flashing over his helm. “Mm!” Drift hurriedly set down his cube. “You should ask Thunderclash. He and Ratchet have been friends since even before Ratchet’s Academy days. And you know he’s a terrible liar. He’d be the perfect bot to ask.”

Rodimus glanced up, scanning the room for his conjunx’s distinct frame. He found him a few seconds later, sitting at the bar and chatting with none other than Ratchet himself. As he watched, Thunderclash threw back his head and laughed boisterously at something Ratchet had said—hold up, something Ratchet had said? That wasn’t right.

Hm. Maybe that was something worth investigating. “Fine, fine,” Rodimus said as he stood up. “But don’t be disappointed when he says it’s all a load of scrap.”

“I merely wish to sate my curiosity,” Drift said airily as he stood as well. “But also, I need to know if Ratchet actually once mixed nightmare fuel and a full box of energon wine together, drank it in less than thirty seconds, and then passed out on top of that old statue of Primus in downtown Vaporex.”

“What?”

“I don’t know either. Come on.”

“How would he even get up there?” Rodimus muttered as he and Drift made their way over to their conjunxes. “It’s like, two hundred feet tall. Slag, now I wanna know.”

“See?” Drift released his EM field, allowing it to push out ahead of them and buffet against Thunderclash and Ratchet’s own fields. Both of them paused in their conversation and turned towards the pair of them at the same time.

“Hey,” Rodimus greeted, nodding to Ratchet, then leaning up to kiss Thunderclash’s temple while Drift went and nuzzled his forehead against Ratchet’s. “Sorry to crash your party, but we have a dire question we need answered.”

“We don’t mind at all,” Thunderclash said warmly. “Here, take my seat, Rodimus. What did you need?” he asked as he stood.

“Are the stories about ‘The Party Ambulance’ true?” Drift immediately asked. Ratchet shot him a fondly annoyed side-eye while Thunderclash blinked at him.

“True?” Thunderclash repeated. He tilted his helm, humming contemplatively. “Well… Technically, yes. But I don’t think the rumors about dear Ratchet amount to even half of what he got up to in the Academy.”

Rodimus’ vents abruptly reversed their flow, leaving him wheezing.

“Seriously?” he gasped as he restarted his vent cycles.

Ratchet chuckled as Drift stared at him with comedically bugged out eyes. “You shouldn’t ask questions you aren’t prepared to know the answers for,” he said with an extremely self-satisfied smile.

“Wait, wait, wait.” Rodimus pointed at Ratchet. “If you were friends with him”—he redirected his pointing to Thunderclash—“then he’s gotta have some stories too.”

This time, Ratchet barked out a full laugh while Thunderclash smiled, abashed. “Sit down, kid. Whatever you think you’re about to hear”—he leaned forward, grinning—“you’re dead wrong.”

--

It’d been a few hours since Swerve’s had closed. Swerve himself had wound up getting Ten to shunt Drift and Rodimus out the door because they’d been entirely unresponsive to his increasingly loud warnings about the bar’s closure. Not because they’d gotten overcharged; in fact, their original drinks were still abandoned half-finished on the counter, forgotten as Thunderclash and Ratchet spun their tales. No, the reason was simple, really, and could be surmised in three words.

They were dumbstruck.

“I,” started Rodimus, and then stopped.

“Yeah,” said Drift.

“I… I guess I was wrong.”

“You were.”

“Yeah.”

“Mm-hm.”

Rodimus tapped the tips of his digits together a few times. “So. The story about the nightmare fuel and the statue was true.”

“And the thing about accidentally taking way too many circuit boosters and being able to see through the ground.”

“And the one about stealing the Academy mascot and sticking it on top of the Plaza while making it make-out with a really badly done cardboard-cutout of the Director.”

“And the three-hundred mech brawl.”

“The three-hundred mech brawl?” Rodimus echoed incredulously. “That’s what you’re focused on? What about the power surge that took out half of Iacon because he and Thunderclash wanted to see what would happen if they stuck Ratchet’s diagnostics plugs into a building?”

“To be fair, he did say everybody was dressed up as Optimus Prime.”

“True.”

Drift pursed his lips and nodded slowly. “You know,” he said after a beat, “I’d said this was to sate my curiosity.”

“Is it sated?”

“No, Rodimus, it is not, in fact, sated.” Drift groaned. “I’m not going to be able to rest until I hear every single one of those stories.”

“You have fun with that,” said Rodimus. “I am going to bed.”

“You know what?” said Drift. “That’s fair.”

[ktheist]

birth of an empress.

synopsis. partners for three years and friends for longer, jungkook thought you’d remain so until he saw you with the knight at the merchant’s trade.

alternatively, the friendly neighborhood wizard trying to propose to the infamous dragon slayer in the middle of slaying a dragon? now, that’s classic.

muses. wizard!jungkook x dragonslayer!reader x knight!jimin

trope. bad girl, good guy but make it magical. / royalty au / dragon slayer au / wizard au / parents au

words. 13k

disclaimer. no dragon was harmed in the making of this scenario.

warnings. depictions of dragon slaying, war and violence. mentions of blood.

story time.

note. wow i powered through this right after an all nighter of doing assignments. please give it some love guys / this is one-shot continuation from my wizard’s oath drabble so if you feel like you’ve read the first few scenes, that’s probably why. stay tuned for my story time where i talk about the characters’s dynamics, what inspires me etc!

“hey so, listen.” jungkook says, back pressed up flat against the slab of concrete wall that barely covers the two of you, “you know we’ve been at it for a long time, right?”

you throw your gaze at the boy - perhaps he’s a little taller than the first time you met him but you can’t help see him as that kid from across the streets who would boast about his wizard-counsel father to you, “i swear to god and merlin and everything you consider magical, if you tell me you want to stop slaying dragons just as we’re about to slay a goddamn dragon, i will obliterate you right here and now, jeon.”

a tree trunk wheezes past the wall straight into the tower a few feet ahead, bringing it down into ruins, followed by a mighty roar, as though to warn you about going against it.

“no. i’m not gonna stop.” he quickly says, bright doe eyes boring into you, “i’m just saying-”

you grab a fistful of his shirt, yanking him with you as you leap to the side and go rolling down the hill just as the slab of wall melts from the burst of fire that pours out the dragon’s mouth.

“okay, that’s great then.” you throw him a fleeting glance - indicating that you’re listening before ducking just in time as the dragon turns its head in your direction. “but can’t this wait?”

the face he makes at your last question reminds you of a kicked puppy. almost in an instant, you want to put down the elven sword and bring him into a bear hug and apologize. but when the booming roar tears through the sky like thunder, you know you don’t have that luxury.

“cover for me.” are your last words before you bolt straight to the dragon, the heat on the soles of your feet gathering before propping you forward and onto the dragon’s back.

the beast cries out in agony when you drive your sword through its scales, swaying sideways, almost throwing you off if it wasn’t for your tight grip on the handle of the sword.

you don’t need call for the wizard. he knows his cue when he steps in front of the dragon, deep purple hood drawn over his head and half of his face. the only thing visible is his moving lips. speaking a foreign language that’s lost to most of the world.

when the dragon stills, you yank the sword out of its flesh and trudge up the slope of its back, aiming for its head.

you distinctly notice the illuminated circle forming around the dragon as it growls in contempt for the spell jungkook is casting on it. a movement restriction spell. the heat comes back full-force, coursing through your veins and lighting up the hollow in your chest. you take the last leap before landing on its head, sword digging deep in between its slit-like eyes.

it takes you a moment to pull the sword out of the dragon’s thick skull, silver blood splattering all over your clothes and face. the dragon tumbles to the ground right in front of the unmoving wizard a heartbeat and a half later while you wipe the elven sword with your sleeve before sheathing it.

“good job, wizard.” you commend but instead of the usual grin he would offer you after every slay, this time, he looks at you with furrowed brows and pressed lips.

“what’s wrong? are you hurt?” you reach out a hand to check his face but instead, he holds it firmly midair before dropping to his knees.

“i know you think of me as nothing more than your neighborhood friend and partner but when i saw you with that knight last week,” face contorts painfully, he shakes his head as though willing a bad memory away. then he meets your curious eyes with a light so clarifying, his purification magic can’t even compete, “i can’t do this anymore - going out to battles and having the fear of either of us dying. ___. before i regret it, i want you to marry me.”

that’s when you retract your hand out of his grasp as though it’s as hot as the dragon’s fiery breath, “no. you’re insane, jeon.”

you begin to trudge forward, going around the dragon’s carcass to get to the forestline where it’ll lead back to the village.

“that i am but not because i’ve decided to spend my whole life with you!” he calls out, feet padding hurriedly to chase after you.

“jungkook.” you abruptly turn around, making him halt just a few inches away. a sigh escapes your lips when you find yourself staring at his chest, all thanks to his unfair height. you crane your neck, after all these years, it still doesn’t sit well with you that the boy you grew up with had overgrown you by a head and a half, “you’re not thinking straight! i mean, you never even had a lover and now you’re asking me to marry you? that’s absurd!”

“will you be my lover then?” he asks, stars in his eyes.

“not in a million eons!” you almost scream but he doesn’t seem to be affected by the rejection - before he can say anything though, you’ve already turned your back on him. trudging down the pathway.

“you won’t marry me and you won’t be my lover! what am i supposed to do to win your heart?” it’s the delicateness in his voice and the fact that he isn’t following you, that makes you stop in your trek.

“god, you’re such an idiot.” you groan, turning around with your arms crossed over your chest. it’s a struggle to remain mad when he looks at you like a lost puppy but you persevere, “flowers and picnics and taking me to dances - things like that. just because i’ve been holding swords more than i do needles and threads doesn’t mean i don’t want what any girl wants... to be courted.”

by the end of it, you feel like you’re on fire. not the kind of fire that you feel when your powers course through your veins, but the kind that makes you squirm and want to run away out of sheer embarrassment.

“o-oh.” jungkook stutters out as he starts to register your words. “th-then, will you go with me to old hedrick’s party - i know it’s no ball but we can dance and after that, maybe we could go to the field and watch the stars?”

you take your sweet time going over the pros and cons of becoming jungkook’s lover - everyone will know as soon as you show up in a dress with jungkook and at a party at that. your sisters were the ones that are considered the social butterflies.

when you take too long, jungkook starts rubbing the back of his head awkwardly.

“okay. meet you there at 8.”

his head almost snaps off his neck when he looks up to you so fast. all stars and smiles. “really?”

“and no robes - dress normally, for once.” you add, noticing the way his robes would encase around him like a cocoon. it’s been awhile since you actually see him wear anything but that.

“no robes,” he echoes, agreeing but his eyes light up all the more when he looks like a thought has crossed him, “and no swords either.”

your shoulder line tenses at that. between the two of you, one uses a wand and the other uses an otherwordly sword. and you definitely do not know how deadly spells come out of a twig.

“but what if we get attacked?” you try to reason.

“you seem to forget,” jungkook plants both his hands on his hips, chest puffed with pride - it reminds you of the time when he would stop you in the middle of you coming home from buying breads and begin boasting about his father’s recent achievements at the council, saying he’ll be just like him or perhaps even more powerful, “just because you’re the one who does all the slaying, doesn’t mean i’m any less lethal - i’m the strongest wizard of our time. and a wand is definitely easier to carry than a sword.”

“very well,” a sigh escapes you while your shoulders sag in defeat, “no swords.”

jungkook looks proud - like he just won a fight. with that, you whirl on your heels, a hand held up to wave at him, “well then, better hurry and harvest the dragon’s heart if you want to make it to the dance on time.”

you hear the wizard grumble from behind you as he rushes back to where the dragon lies, withered, complaining about how he really should get himself an apprentice.

“one night,” you throw your head back against the wall, shoulderline slacking, “i decide to leave my sword at home for just one night and that’s when the mercenaries come to gather in our village for an illegal faery smuggling.”

the muted pleas of the winged creatures almost get drowned out by the boisterous yelling and laughing of the group of men in the streets. subdued light shines from underneath the poorly blanketed boxes in the cart, no doubt cages where they keep the captured faeries.

“don’t worry, ___.” jimin smiles, brown pupils disappearing beneath his crescent shaped eyes, “i’ll protect you.”

he raises the silver sword in his hand, the royal family’s dragon crest peeking from his grip on the handle.

“no, you won’t need to protect her.” jungkook chirps in heatedly from your other side, “because that’s my job.”

“as i recall, ___ wouldn’t put her trust on magic to save her life,” the smile, if anything, widens just the tiniest bit, “just an observation, of course.”

before the wizard can form another retort - and you know you’ll never see the end of this if you don’t put a stop to it, you quickly speak over the hushed silence, meeting the eyes of the guests that are cramped in old hedrick’s slightly-smaller-than a villa abode.

“don’t worry everyone, these two may appear unreliable but one is the emperor’s personal knight and the other is the brightest wizard of the century.” you offer them a tight smile, not because you don’t believe what came out of your mouth but because it’s the absolute, honest truth yet they are doing nothing to assure the people of their capabilities than argue who to play the knight in shining armor.

if we’re talking about technicalities, then technically, jimin is exactly that.

“indeed, we shall put a stop to the atrocities happening right in the streets of our homes.” jungkook rises from the ground, hands planted on either sides of his hips but it’s short lived when you pull him back down to hide underneath the windowline you’ve been peeking through.

“stay down. we don’t know if they have any enchantments or if there are dark wizards among them.” you hiss underneath your breath.

it’s a moment later that you hear a grating voice call from outside, “you there! hiding in that hideous house! come out!”

old hedrick looks like he’s about to leap out and prance at whoever insulted his home and perhaps get beaten up by men twice or thrice as strong as he is - the only thing stopping him is your hard stare that makes him cower behind his second wife.

“let’s go.” you’re the first to rise to your feet, patting off the dust from your dress that your sisters almost got into a fight about when choosing what color would match your eyes.

“stay close to me.” jungkook murmurs under his breath from next to you while jimin lets out a brief laugh just before you stop a good ten feet away from the men who seem to stiffen at the sight of jimin.

“what’s so funny?” the same man whose called you out steps forward - he seems to be the leader, eyes burning holes inside jimin’s chest where the ghost of the dragon lies upon his armor, “you think you’re so tough? huh, knight?”

“no, not at all.” the aforementioned knight shakes his head, a cheeky smile adorning his features, “but supposedly, the wizard does.”

and just like that, all eyes fall on jungkook. “wizard, huh?” the man grins, golden tooth and all.

“half of you can barely read, let alone understand the law but it isn’t a puzzle piece to figure out that capturing magifolks is illegal.” he starts, from your periphery, you see his left hand holding his wand on his back , “if you walk away now, perhaps you get to do jail time with your limbs intact.”

they burst into laughter, almost as though it was a baby who said such threats.

“i’d probably believe that nice lady is more capable of putting a scratch on my face if she said that than you, boy.” the leader towers over in laughter, slapping his knee as though he’s heard the jest of the century.

“will you?” you lift one brow at the leader in the midst of the subsiding humor.

“what?” one of them questions while swiping a tear off the corner of his eye.

“walk away. if i told you too - i would hate to ruin my dress teaching you men a lesson.” you don’t know if it’s the ice cold tone you’re using or if it’s the way to stare at them, but their shoulderline begin to straighten as each of them begin to size you up, those with daggers strapped on their waist or thighs reaching for their weapons now.

“why don’t you come here and whisper it to my ear, yeah?” his lecherous grin returns but there’s a sort of restraint that tells you he’s no longer perceiving you as the damsel in distress.

for one, there isn’t a single line of frustration on your forehead.

“oh, i wouldn’t do that if i were you.” jimin warns them but it’s already too late. you’re already treading towards the leader with heavy footsteps and before you know it, a familiar heat courses through your veins, focusing in the fist that you’re swigging towards him.

a loud crack cuts through the night as the man slouches against the broken wood of the card, face half-rearranged, gold tooth falling in his lap while blood from his mouth and nose trickles down his chin. for a moment, everyone and everything stands still.

“those of you who think you can withstand me and my companions, step forward. otherwise run along like the cowards that you are who dare only step on the weak.” you nonchalantly offer, meeting the eyes of the mercenaries one by one.

the first warrior-cry breaks through the night as one of them charges at you with a dagger, loomed with the shadow of the dark arts. you step aside, tripping your attacker and sending him leaping across the ground, right in front of jimin’s polished metal shoes.

you catch the knight’s devious grin before he hits your attacker’s head with the hilt of his sword, sending the man unconscious. it’s then that they begin to charge all at once, bearing weapons much sinister than the last. jungkook helps thwart the weapons out of their hands so you can take them on bare hands fair and square - but you suppose it isn’t all that fair when you have the blood of thr first dragon slayer running in your veins.

they soon learn that they have to go for the wizard in the back to actually dismantle you and jimin.

“a little help here!” jungkook yells over the throng of mercenaries out to kill him.

“bit busy!” jimin yells back somewhere a few feet away,driving the hilt of his sword in the face of one of the mercenaries that was charging at him when he had his back on him “and quite literally, don’t care if you get your hair messed up!”

you shake your head at their banter, piling up your own body counts, ducking and sending blow strong enough to knock them out at once. it’s some time after your 13th hit that a morning star misses you by a inch.

the wielder is burlier and taller than the average men, sporting a nastier frown as he gazes down at you like an annoying little fire ant that refuses to go down.

“___, catch!” jimin calls for you, just before he tosses you his sword and uses the same hand he’d held the sword to sucker punch the man who’s halfway blacked out as he claws at jimin’s wrist to release his shirt.

“thanks!” you grin when you feel the solidity of the dragon engraved handle and measure its likely weight with your own elven sword.

the burly man grunts when he misses you again by a hair’s breadth. eye twitching when you gesture for him to come to you with your free hand. when he does, you step to the side, taking the opening to slash the sword through his forearm and sending the weapon skidding on the ground while he growls in pain, clutching onto the wound. the heat warms up your entire body as you leap forward, smashing the hilt of the sword into his face, sending him tumbling on the ground. after you’re sure he’s not getting up, only then do you let yourself breathe, returning the sword to its owner.

“___, are you okay?” jungkook’s wide, round eyes are captures your own for a split second before they wander to your tattered dress, inspecting if there was any wounds. if anything, there will be when your sisters see the the ghastly tear on the side of the dress.

before you can even say anything, his arms band around you and traps you in a bone-crushing hug. you have to take twice to make sure it’s still the same wizard that’s watched you slay dragons for the last three years.

“i’m fine. the dark magic infused in their weapons weakened my powers a bit but i’m not a child, you know? i’ve faced worse.” you chuckle, patting his back.

somewhere behind jungkook, you hear someone clear their throat. the wizard appears to be less perplexed when he turns around to face old hedrick and the rest of the villagers that poured out of their homes where they’d been silently watching the events unfold.

the priest approaches you with a grateful smile, “dragon slayer and wizard, you have our humblest gratitude.” then he gestures for jimin to come closer and he does, sending you a cheeky grin when he stops to stand next to you, “you too, knight. there is evil lurking in every shadow but the three of you are what makes the world a better place.”

“it was part of my duty.” jimin lowers his head, arm crossed over his chest while you shift your weight on your feet.

“i just live here so.” you shrug.

it’s jungkook that steps forth, enjoying the fame and attention, “as long as i, your friendly neighborhood wizard, and my dragon slayer sidekick,” he gestures to you before announcing with his whole chest, “are around, you have nothing to fear. this is my wizard’s oath.”

you join the bouts of cheers and applause from the villagers, shaking your head at his antics. but when they begin to crowd him like ants around sugar, you slowly disappear into the shadows where you know the familiar route will take you back to your home. but five steps in, jimin falls into pace with you, his metal armor clacking in the dark.

“allow me to walk you home, my lady.” with the sources of dark magic gone, you’re able to use your powers to see his cheeky grin even in the dark.

“ladies don’t wield swords like a savage.” you remark, returning your own grin.

“they come in many forms.” he replies too smoothly, “but one thing’s for sure - they all bleed blue.”

you feel your body freeze, step coming to a stop. “how do you-”

“the prince,” he offers, as though it’s the answer you’re looking for before he continues, “sends his invitation to you for dinner in three night’s time. that’s what i came here to tell you before the mercenaries begin to pour in.”

he doesn’t ask for your permission when he slips his hand under your stone cold one, bringing it to his lips. your tongue is tied but your throat itches to say something - to ask more about the dinner but before you can, you hear jungkook calling you not too far away and when you look back to where the knight is supposed to be, all you see is darkness.

“i can’t believe you’re leaving me to go home when we promised to watch the stars together.” jungkook huffs, lips pursed just the slightest bit.

“jungkook, how well do you know the prince?” you finally say after breaking away from your stupor.

“the prince?” he blinks, the remnants of his sulking now disappeared into thin air, “he’s a spoiled brat. whenever i get hired to escort him to one of his crusades, all he does is boast about anything and everything to the royal families whose castle we were staying at.” the wizard scrunches his nose, as though willing a bad memory away. “why?”

“he just invited me to dinner.” you inform, watching as his facial complexion drop and his hands grip your shoulders tightly.

“you can’t - mustn't go, ___.”

“wands and weapons, please.” the footman approaches you just as you step through the much nicer room of the inn where the prince told you to meet him.

you share a cautious look with jungkook, the wizard being more apparent with his reluctance when his eyebrows join together as he reaches for the wand in his pocket while you unstrap your sword from your hips.

“right this way.” another footman steps forward, gesturing to the door adjacent to the entrance.

“ah! dragon slayer, welcome!” prince hoseok grins from the table he’s at, eyes going wide when he sees the familiar wizard who insisted on tagging along, “jungkook, i’ll be damned. i didn’t know you knew ___. if i did, i would’ve had you introduce us sooner.”

“yes, well, last i recall, you were planning to propose a law against dragon slayers - which got shot down so fast for it’s absurdity since slayers help keep the empire from falling in the dragon’s reign.” jungkook offers, a hard line on his lips as he studies the prince with suspicious eyes.

“that was the past,” prince hoseok shakes his hand as though he doesn’t hear the hostility in the wizard’s greeting, “cousin, come and take a seat. we’ve a lot to catch up.”

you bow rather than drop to a courtesy. after all, you’re in your gear and this isn’t any normal dinner.

“it’s an honor to have you come all the way here, your highness. do you like the village so far?” you begin with pleasantries and even go as far as fixing the young prince a smile once you sit yourself across from him, jungkook on your left.

the prince leans back against the chair as he throws his head back while he sighs, “i expected better but i’m not surprised at the appalling state you people live in - it’s a poor farmers’ village after all.”

you hum, “i wonder whose fault that is that lets the people suffer in such poor conditions.” the smile just the slightest bit strained at his offhanded comment just as the footman rolls in with the food.

he pretends he doesn’t hear that too.

“ah, don’t you just love red wine?” the prince offers you a dimpled smile, tilting the flute glass as he takes a whiff of whatever red wines are supposed to smell like - you never understood how these people could sit around distinguishing the smell of one beverage to another while there were people scraping for a day’s worth of meal all over the empire.

“all wine tastes the same to me, your highness.” you begin to cut through the steak.

“i shouldn’t have asked,” the prince shakes his head in mirth, placing the wine down on the table before he makes a biting comment, “brutes like you only know how to swing a sword and kill everything the her path just like your father.”

“that’s it.” a thud echoes against the walls as jungkook’s chair tilts backwards as he abruptly stands, “we’re leaving. i knew something’s up when you invited ___ for dinner even though you hated dragon slayers. in the end, you’re still the spoiled rotten brat who takes pleasure in terrorizing others.”

you suppress a smile from the wizard’s outburst, your own anger subsiding halfway. it’s not that you don’t want to defend your father’s pride but you barely knew the guy. he disappeared like thin air after the night he left for a foreign country in search for the spiked dragon. you appreciate jungkook getting more worked up than you though.

“what’s the meaning of this?” jungkook demands when the guards at the door steps in his way.

“so that’s how it is.” you chuckle dryly, turning to face the smirking prince. “a secret meeting at some unknown village just on the boarder. this is how you’ll make sure to secure the throne? by killing the more eligible heir who actually has the first emperor’s blood running through her veins?”

you think you struck a cord when the prince slams his fisted hand onto the table, “blame it on the history lessons i get from our great uncle clifford and his brutal slaughtering of all his seven brothers and cousins.” he sneers but frowns when he looks at jungkook, “i liked you, wizard. i even thought of bringing you into the council as my royal mage. you have potential. shame that you chose to side with the savage.”

jungkook threatens through gritted teeth, taking one step towards the leisure man but stop when the guards begin to pour into the room, swords pointing from every direction. you place a hand on jungkook’s shoulder, feeling his muscles relax just slightly as you speak.

“how about you stop hiding behind your guards, prince? face this savage with honor - if you win, nobody will challenge your right to the throne.”

“i have no time for games. kill them.” the prince begins to dig into the steak, cringing when it enters his mouth and spitting it back out, saying something about how it’s still raw while the guard begin to corner you and jungkook until you’re back-to-back with each other.

“this isn’t looking to good, is it?” you ask.

“i can feel my wand close by, if we could just get through-”

jungkook’s words get cut off as you drop to the ground, extending a leg and tripping one guard over before punching another one where the sun doesn’t shine. after recovering from the surprise attack, they begin to charge at you all at once.

you hiss when you pick up a sword from one of the guards you’ve taken down. the dark magic seeps into your body like molten lava the more you try to resist it. the dragon crest of the royal family is missing and the weight of this sword is much heavier than jimin’s. but you chalk it up with the fact that dark magic is most lethal to the blood of the dragon slayers.

“___, let that thing go! it’s enchanted. you can’t handle the dark magic flowing through it!” jungkook orders, voice reaching the roof and effectively letting the enemies know of your infirmity.

cold sweat is already beginning to trickle down your forehead. the warmth of your power now a dying smolder in your chest.

“who’s got a better chance at wielding a sword? you or me?” you retort, sending him one last grin before going all in, slashing through the guards without any care for life the way you did three days ago with the mercenaries.

although you still try to avoid injuring their vital organs, just enough to make them drop their weapons.

you’re heaving and sporting cuts - some deep, some shallow - by the time the last body hits the ground. the prince isn’t anywhere in sight and the last remaining guards who kept their distance, watching you them down one after another, finally realizes their loss and flee.

that’s when you allow yourself to drop to your knees, hands clutching the sword tightly for dear life until jungkook yanks it out of you. his face is blurred but if your vision isn’t so badly damaged, maybe you’ll see his eyebrows furrowing while words pour out of his lips like a dam, telling you to lie down and rest but all you hear now is an echoing ring.

“you...” you huff through bated breaths, “...worry too much.”

that’s when darkness consumes you.

the sound of a twig snapping is what sends alarms throughout your body.

it’s close.

too close.

the steps they take is heavy but soundless - for ordinary human hearing that is. you know it’s a man’s footstep before you even leap from your laying down position, hand clenched into a fist only to stop centimeters from jimin’s nose.

from the way he blinks his rounded eyes, it appears as though he didn’t expect you to be awake.

as if on cue, your vision shakes and you fall backwards but before your head hits the ground, the knight is already on your side, hand under your head as he lay you down slowly.

“where am i?” you squint your eyes at the crackling fire a few feet away.

“in the wizard’s secret cave.” he replies simply, sitting down on the ground next to you.

you grunt in displeasure when you recall the haunting memories of the dark magic taking over you, draining every trace of fire from your chest until you feel like your rib cages were about to cave. but along with the recollection comes realization.

glaring at the knight, you quiz him, “why are you here? aren’t you on the prince’s side?”

jimin shakes his head, almost appalled at the thought, “i swore allegiance to the emperor and his excellency wanted to see what his foolish son would do when he found out about another potential heir that could claim the throne.”

a shadow cast itself over his feature as something heavy lapses over the cave’s walls, “his excellency is deeply sorry for what his son did - he thought prince hoseok would’ve tried bettering his swordsmanship or take an interest in politics instead of going for his cousin’s head.”

“and yet i’m the one lying on the ground in some cave.” you scoff, throwing a glance over jimin’s solemn expression, noticing how he keeps his eyes on his lap instead of looking at you.

“his imperial majesty can’t be seen taking the side of a commoner-mothered niece. even if that niece bears a stronger blood of the dragons.” he’s murmuring now, you don’t know if it’s because you can hear him clearly or because he’s ridden by guilt.

“all i hear is an excuse of a failed monarch who’s too lazy to fix what he broke so he decided to sit in the sidelines and watch things unfold but when someone is about to die, he’ll save them and call it his best effort.”  you suppress a groan as the drumming against your temples intensifies just as you begin to push yourself up again but this time, more careful.

“don’t touch me.” it came out harsher than you intend it to. but jimin places his hands back in his lap, clenching and unclenching it.

a minute sense of satisfaction blooms across your chest when you manage to stand up on your own. if you think the light from the fire was too much after having known only darkness for who-knows-how long, the rays at the end of the cave is almost blinds you.

yet the first tingle of the warmth on your skin is liberating - reminds you that you’re alive.

“____?” a familiar voice calls you as a cloaked fogure in deep purple step out of the bushes, bearing a basket full of herbs, “is it really you?”

the bags under his eyes are a telltale sign of lack of sleep, possibly from tending to your fish-on-land-state.

“unless you can see spirits, i reckon it is me.” you shoot him a grin.

but what you don’t expect is for tears to begin pricking those sleepless eyes and him dropping the basket on the ground. before you know it, you’re engulfed in a bone-crushing hug. his arms shake around you and his sniffles drum in your ears - it hadn’t dawn on you that you could’ve lost your life until jungkook is crying and mumbling words you can barely catch.

“y-your life force was so weak - i - i thought i was g-going to lose you.” he forces out between ripples of sniffles, “i-i didn’t know if you were gonna wake up, ____, it-it’s been a week - a week of watching your unconscious body lay there after i extracted what i could of the dark magic.”

you hug him back a little tighter, burying your face in his chest. the lump in your throat makes it hard to speak - to even tease him about being such a cry baby like you usually would.

“no, i absolutely and irrevocably am not going to head a riot.” you announce, slamming the bowl of broth made by your mother. jungkook had gotten it before he came here, it was buried underneath the herbs he’d picked up along the way.

jimin’s shoulder line remains straight and dignified. he’s gotten over your earlier conversation as if you were discussing whether faery hair or berserker spine would be a better mold for a sword.

the answer is berserker spine, undoubtedly.

“the people has caught wind of the direct descendant of the first emperor.” jimin begins, “they won’t stand for the prince’s irresponsible behavior anymore than they have to.”

“what about you?” glancing at the wizard who’s been quiet since jimin brought up the matter, you finally choose to address him directly, “what do you think?”

jungkook shifts his weight on his other foot, setting down the ladle in a bowl next to the couldron, “i- well, the current royal family’s blood is too obscured by ordinary lineage, the current emperor has some powers but the prince is basically human-“

the sigh is what makes him clamp his mouth shut. the look he gives you reminds you of an injured puppy.

“i haven’t even been awake for five hours yet the weight of the crown is already pushed upon me.” the hard wooden material of the chair pokes into your sore back, almost as though mocking you for your cowardice.

“i’ll relay your answer to his majesty and spread rumors about your untimely death so the people will give up on the coup.” jimin stands up, nodding once but just as he passes you, another sigh escapes your lips. your chest is heavy.

“wait.” your voice is unmissable.

you crane your neck to meet the knight’s gaze, “come back in a few days and i’ll give you my final answer.”

the corners of his lips twitches and you think you see the jimin you’ve come to know and fought along side come to surface. but it’s hard to tell now that you know he’s a man of many faces.

“very well.” and with that he takes his leave.

the next ten minutes was spent with jungkook mixing and tasting a pinch of his brewing concoction while you watch his back. realization hits you like a warm blanket in winter. his shoulders are broader and his arms appear stronger - muscled than that scrawny boy from across the streets. he used to run around carrying books half his size whenever be came back from school while you trained with your master in your front yard.

time’s changed but neither of you did.

or so you thought.

you wonder when he started developing feelings for you. was it that time when you saved him from a stray wolf in the forest? or was it when you handed him your first baked cookie that your mother actually put you up to?

either way, for you, it was on your 10th summer when you were lying under the tree shade. jungkook’s footsteps couldn’t have been louder but you ignored it and kept your eyes closed until you felt something tug on your hair. when you opened your eyes, the yellowish buttercup petals wave from your periphery. a ten year old jungkook had told you you looked pretty with a wildflower tucked over your ear.

the moment jungkook calls your name, you notice that the fire dancing underneath the couldron has faded into smolders, wisps of smoke hovering over the concoction.

the wizard is standing by the table now where jimin once sat, "since you're all better, do you want to get some fresh air?" he shoots you a smile that only jeon jungkook is capable of, "don't worry, i already put an enchantment over this area of the forest. the prince won't be able to find you even if he hired the best tracker as long as you remain within the spell's boundaries."

the moon isn't shy to shower you with its light, the sound of the woodland creatures and magifolks echoes from the hollows of the trees, almost as though celebrating your recovery.

your footsteps halt when you notice the familiar ruins on top of the hill where jungkook once proposed to you out of the sheer adrenaline after having slayed a dragon.

"is it wise to have your bat cave so close to the village? wouldn't the prince's men think of searching here at some point?" you wonder out loud, golden petals cushioning your landing as you plop down.

"of course they did." jungkook admits nonchalantly, joining you on the ground, "but they walked straight past the barrier - i mean, it's my barrier we're talking about."

you let out a short chuckle, a hand propped underneath your head as a makeshift pillow as you try to connect the dots of stars to form shapes.

"those groups of stars look like they make a sword." you point to somewhere on the east side of the skies.

his own hand enters your line of view when he begins pointing in the same direction as you or something next to the alleged sword, "and that's a wand - could it be the ones the prince took from us?"

"that's literally stars that somewhat look aligned." you state, deadpanned, "the whole skies are full of wands then."

jungkook's hand shoots down almost instantly. with a stolen glance, you affirm the sure pout on his lips as he mumbles out, "what's wrong with a gazillion of wands in the skies?"

"absolutely nothing." you find yourself smiling, eyes fluttering shut as you focus on the night breeze that brushes against your skin.

it’s after awhile that you feel a soft tug on your hair. a deja vu feeling overcomes you when you see the petal in the corner of your eye and jungkook lying on his side instead of his back like when your last saw him. a delicate smile adorns his features as he plucks another flower off the stalk and places it gently in your hair just above your hairline.

“these are...” you trail off, recalling the spot where the dragon lied motionless after you’d slayed it.

“they started popping out of the ground like mushrooms while i was harvesting the dragon’s heart. how a death of something treacherous birthed something so pretty,” he supplies, still tucking flowers in your hair like it’s the most normal thing to do.

“jungkook,” you murmur softly, almost sounding like a fifteen year old damsel in love, “do you mean it? when you proposed to me?”

stars begin to burst in those eyes of his as they widen,“of course, i’ve fallen for you with every fiber of my body. i wish to spend my entire life with you.”

it takes you a moment to gather your thoughts and your composure but you can’t help clearing your suddenly dry throat, “you do know if i decide to lead the riot and become empress, we can’t be together, right?”

his gaze quivers at your words. supposedly, he hasn’t considered the implications the way you did.

“not everyone has what you have,” his voice is strained, hand drawn to his side now, “and if you choose to lead the riot, and if we succeed - i know we will - i won’t mind staying by your side as the royal wizard.” he finally says but adds hesitant doubt, “if you’ll have me.”

“i didn’t ask to be born by a slayer father who stopped coming home and a devastatingly loyal mother who decided to become a housewife when she got pregnant with her partner’s child,” you bear no ill intention to either of your parents - but it’s times like these, you wonder about the what-ifs, had you been born to normal human parents, had you been an ordinary girl who jungkook would have met on an ordinary day and perhaps still fall in love with you, “after all these years, i’m still that child. unable to turn the tides of my own fate.”

jungkook doesn’t say a word, and when you steal a glance at him, he doesn’t look at you either. his gaze is lowered and his mouth clamped together in suppression of words he dare not say. though darkness blankets the sky, the truth is clear as day-

“we could run away, you and i,” you offer, the lump in your throat no more than the feeling of having your neck pinched, “but you want me to save the empire’s future from falling during the prince’s reign. and you don’t mind losing me or at least having just a part of me to obtain that.”

the reality-stricken expression making its way to his face is telling enough. your heart writhes in your chest, begging to be freed of all feelings and emotions you didn’t know you were pushing down until the first tear hits your cheek and your first sob forces him to look up.

“___...” jungkook murmurs your name like the words of a withered poem. beautiful because it’s torn.

“i wish you would fight for me,” you push yourself up, buttercups raining down on you and pooling in your lap while some falls back to the ground, “just once, i wish you would see more as the slayer you partnered up with to bring down the reign of the dragons that threatens to ruin your beloved empire.”

yet you still let him hold you, one hand on your the back of your head and the other on your waist, whispering empty words that somehow comforts you, “it’s okay, it’s okay.” he says.

but nothing is, as you weep over his love.

you’d received an overflow of it even before he’d told you, but it was never enough.

it takes three whole months of preparing for the seize. half of the countries have shown their explicit support, sending their troops at your request - or rather, jimin’s handwritten letter on your behalf. estuaria’s falcon had just arrived half an hour ago and the knight is announcing yet another addition to the countries supporting your future rule.

“do we really need that many men to seize the capital?” you say from your seat, facing the doorway where you can see every single face that walks through and halt in hesitance when notice you, “jungkook and i can take them on by ourselves, like the old days.”

the wizard shoots up from five seats away, chest puffed, arms crossed over his chest, “i can take them all myself!”

“yes, yes sure you can.” jimin acknowledges, not bothering to look up from the estuaria’s king’s letters, “but the army is necessary to honor the support of our allies.”

when he’s like that, you know not to argue with him - everything goes in one ear and out the other. you’re a mere pawn to the larger scheme of things. and you like it that way. if fate wanted you to have the throne, you would regardless of whether you tried to reach for it or not.

jungkook has been by your side through it all. unlike you, he actually knows what’s going on - even though he has to fight jimin for the information half of the time.

come to think of it, there’s never a dull moment with the two - there’s always something they’d be arguing about and one or both would eventually turn to you for the final say. the one who’s opinion got backed up by you would sport a victorious smirk and the sore loser would have to finally admit defeat.

naturally, you side with jungkook because jimin, though your loyal supporter and master mind, is still the emperor’s dog. you had to make it hard for him to get his plan through just because you’re still bitter about the fact that he’d set you up to walk into a trap that maims your right arm. it sustained the most injury and where dark magic melded into your flesh and rendered your good fighting hand as close to a human’s. 

you’re learning how to wield a sword with your left hand but it’s taking some time. jimin assured you that he’d protect you and stay by your side during the siege that’s about to take place in a week. but you know it’s more about getting a rise of out jungkook.

and it did but there’s something in the way the wizard would whip out his wand and the burst of stars in his eyes, that tells you jungkook might have taken the jest a little too personally. you may have fallen back into your old habits as though neither admitted their feelings for the other, but there are traces here and there that would disrupt the semblance of normality that you and jungkook have.

when the day of the seize comes, all you remember is walking towards the throne without so much as a soul barring your way. jimin being the head knight had told his men to stay down. some tried to rebel but before they can even get to you, the men from one of your allied countries took them down. you did hear of prince hoseok’s escape to wofren a few days later, the king himself offering to send him back when he showed up demanding for protection.

jimin had dropped on one knee, an arm propped on the other while his free hand lies on his chest where his heart would be, “long live the empress, slayer of dragons and sovereign of men.”

you barely register the emperor’s knights falling to their knees in suit as well as your own men, repeating the words jimin had said.

one year later, you ended up learning all the bouts of governing an empire all the while wearing the crown on your head. conquered a few more countries until the empire stretched almost throughout the whole continent. you’re currently at war with askana, the last standing kingdom in the continent.

many have tried to challenge your power but failed and askana will too. your lieutenant general and appointed-upon-crowning grand duke, had thwarted every enemy that so much as thought about assassinating you. sometimes, you get a little surprise served to you in a false pretense of health-restoring green tea.

“hold her down!” jimin’s voice clamors throughout the tent when you’d dropped the tea cup, letting it roll on the ground and hit his feet within the span of less than a minute. your throat sears as you begin to cough. splatters of blood dotting the porcelain white saucer.

“please! i had no choice!” leslie, the maid you’d grown fond to and brought along to serve you on the battlefield, pleaded from a few feet away, your men gripping her arms on both sides, “they have my son hostage- they said they’d kill him if i didn’t serve you the poison, your majesty!”

“pray tell,” jimin says through gritted teeth as leslie’s cries fall into a hushed silence as soon as he points his sword on the woman’s throat, “who are these fools that dare use cheap textbook tricks against the empress?”

“you have got,” you croak, in between chuckle and the burning sensation in your throat, “to stop calling me that.”

it takes a solid, defying moment of jimin’s back turned on your, his eyes probably drilling holes inside leslie’s weeping face before he sighs, shoulder line slacking as he sheathes his sword.

“send word to the royal wizard to come to the battlefield immediately and keep the traitor with the war prisoners until i decide how to extract information from her.” and with that, leslie’s shrill echoes into the sky from feet away as they dragged her out. you didn’t really notice when it stopped.

“go easy on her, will you? she didn’t ask to get her son kidnapped just because i chose her as my personal maid to escort me to war.” you’re almost certain that your words are slurred as you lean back against the cushioned chair brought here from the castle, not bothering to wipe off the ghastly sight of your bloodied chin and neck.

“you’re too kind for someone who’s wheezing for air in order to live.” the way his voice sounds closer and the fact that you feel his hands on your cheek serves as a reminder that the poison is kicking in - you didn’t even realize you have your eyes shut.

“look at me,” the general orders - you would have teased him about ordering the empress if not for the the furrowed brows, worry-contorted face of his, “stay awake and keep your eyes on me!”

it’s the way jimin’s voice rises that jolts your fluttering eyes to wakefulness. you can feel your lips twitching into a smirk, “you dare... raise your voice at the empress? come to think of it... it’s the first time...”

in the end, you couldn’t keep your eyes open.

when you come to, it was the darkened roof of the tent that greets you instead of the the familiar artful ceiling of your chambers. when you first moved into the royal chambers the color schemes felt far too bright and cheerful but a somberly realized how you longed for shades that aren’t black, red and amber like the fires on the torches that wave - laugh at your pathetic state. and perhaps, that was what helped fill your senses and you begin to hear the voices around you.

“lay back down, ___, you’re not fully healed yet.” jungkook is on your side in to no time, hand on your shoulder, coaxing.

you slip on the fresh embroidered royal jacket folded on the table next to the bed, consequently making him pull his hand away as you pretend like you didn’t see the flash of hurt cross over his eyes, “how long have i been out?”

“a few hours and quite frankly not enough time for your body to flush the poison out fully.” he gripes, brows coming together in distress.

“haven’t you heard, jungkook? one cannot have peace longer than the neighbor pleases,” you groan when the sensation of knives piercing every part of your body begin to spread through you. for one, wishful moment, you wanted to take back your words and slip into that stone-forged bed even if it meant waking up with a sore body tomorrow.

“you can’t go to war in that state either.” he steps in front of you, arms crossed over his chest. over the year, he’s gotten strict when it comes to you exerting yourself.

but you’re not a god damn empress for nothing.

you pat his shoulder, squeezing it tight enough to say, don’t worry. and walk past him, stopping just behind rainfly separating your private room from the larger quarter of the dome where your war ministers seem to be engaged in a heated discussion.

“it’s inevitable. we must ride at dawn,” sir huguard looks to jimin, “you must lead the army, general.”

“don’t be ridiculous! they’ll know something is up if we go to war without her majesty.” the son of the viscount had always been your loyal follower, “besides, the men fight better when the sovereign is there to give orders.”

“there is no doubt, the empress has been leading us to victory since the first war,” sir kim concurs with a heavy exhale, eyes scanning over the red dots on the map where the berserkers, archers and fighters are set to be positioned, “but we are the empress’ silver squires. it would be an insult to her majesty if we can’t even handle force such a tiny kingdom. what do you say, general park?”

jimin, upon having his name being called, lets a smirk slip onto his face, causing the knights to sit straighter, “i say we ask the empress herself - though personally, i know her majesty would never sit a war down even at the brink of death. you’re as stubborn as a mule, you know, your majesty?”

at that, you push the rainfly apart, meeting your ministers’ perplexed gazes one after the other. jungkook on your side.

“boys,” you grin, hands planted on both sides of your hips, “let’s give them a taste of hell.”

x

you won the war - naturally, you would win the war. but it wasn’t a one man show. the silver squires and jimin got your back all the way through the enemy’s fortress. the king of askana was a proud one. he didn’t beg for his life as your men forced him to his knees in front of you.

he had your respect. you’d made his death a quick one. made sure the ministers watched with their own eyes. so they knew not to play cheap tricks on you like poisons and kidnapping your maid’s son.

leslie was banished from the capital - you couldn’t save her beloved son. that’s what war does to people. to choose the greater interest of your men and sticking to the plan, knowing by then, they’d have figured she’d failed to kill you and killed her son.

but with every war you win, you can feel yourself losing the human part in you. so you turn to work even more.

“you could always segregate it, you know?” jungkook offers, falling into pace as you begin to make your way down the hall where footmen and guards bow, not batting an eye at the way you ungracefully tug on the low neckline of your dress. only when you are at war, are you free from the confines of these laces and layers of clothing, “jimin told me you’ve been hoarding the paperwork to yourself. it’s not healthy.”

“i chose to be empress so i should be a good one. segregating my work makes me feel out of touch with my line of obligations.” you say simply, noticing how the wizard’s shoulder line stiffens the way they would every time you mention your alleged willing choice. you ruffle your hair, as though it’ll rub away the nagging feeling in your stomach, “look i’ve already got jimin breathing down my neck about work. can we please, talk about something else?”

“well, sure if you’ve finally decided to change your career, we can always talk about datura, mandrakes and nightshades.”

“something besides magical herbs and my working too much.” you lament, head thrown back.

“your mother and sisters are doing fine,” he offers, “i visited them a week ago - they said nobles would come to the village just to see the empress’ family see why they’re not living with the empress. but of course, your mother’s reply always makes them leave with empty cups of teas and a sour face.”

“that sounds just like her.” you find yourself smiling at the thought of your mother’s catty comments when the nobles have finally used up all her patience to get what they can out of the savage-turned-royalty empress.

when the doors to your office swings open at your arrival, you’re half-surprised to see jimin, hunched over your desk underneath the piles of paperwork, trying to go through the wordings of one by one.

“speak of the devil.” your smile widens into an amused grin.

jimin prefers the battlefield compared to books and reading. when he sees you, a look of relief settles over his features before his eyebrows furrow, as though remembering something. he turns to the wizard next to you with full intention to place the blame on him depending on what answer said wizard gives him, “i thought you were going to convince her to take a day off.”

“no- well, yes- i was going to but we kept walking and talking and well - here we are.” jungkook fumbles with his words, choosing no sure route to take it when jimin’s hard stare is boring into him.

“you had one job and you failed.”the pressure at the end causes the wizard’s shoulder line to quiver.

over the year, jimin’s become quite the lieutenant general and a master an instilling fear into everyone he intends to.

you thought with the two’s long history, jungkook would be immune the way you are but seeing as he’s been coming and going what with his search for a herb that could once and for all drain out the dark magic inside you, you suppose he’s missed the parts where jimin adopted the name of the grim reaper around the castle.

“move, you’re in my seat.” you sigh, stepping forward and making sure to shield jungkook from the general’s sight.

luckily for you, jimin obliges. pushing the chair back and standing next to it with his arms clasped over his back, shoulder line straight and chin tilted the way a royal lieutenant general would stand.

“this is quite good, you got half of the things i needed to do, done.” you praise, not missing the proud smile twitching on his lips as you went over the replies he wrote for the diplomatic trade between the capital and askana. “though i wouldn’t say a straight out no to a future declaration of independence.”

and just like that, the smile drops into a hard frown. and because of the structure of his lips, it looks like he’s pouting heavily, “what do you mean? they’ve only been under our reign for five months and they’ve already had the audacity to ask for independence. it insults the essence of the sovereign - the young king could be beheaded for being so brazen.”

the son of the late king of askana whose life you took had taken the throne at a young age upon his father’s death. and just like his father, he had that spark in him. a mark of a true leader who isn’t afraid of going against an infamous sovereign.

you can’t help but suppress a smirk at the way jimin’s composure completely falling, almond eyes growing wide as he uses his hands to express his heightened displeasure towards the newly conquered country’s king, “and you propose bringing the head askana’s king to me and painting me a savage empress in the eyes of the world would do us good?”

at that, his lips clamp shut.

“as if the image of an empress who slays dragons aren’t daunting enough.” you add as an afterthought, glancing up at the other person in the room who’s been silently watching, “wouldn’t you say so, wise neighborhood wizard?”

“oh,” his eyes go wide at the word that he would often use years ago, as though not expecting to hear it, “well, yes. indeed, there is still a stigma going around a dragon slayer sovereign because of the unequal standings of powers and abilities to conquer lands.”

“your majesty,” jimin presses, the look he gives you almost makes you want to cower away in fear of a series of chiding but what he says next is completely unexpected, “your men are proud to serve such a strong sovereign like yourself. i ask you not to undermine yourself for the sake of appealing to mere cowards.”

“that’s, well,” you stammer for words, “quite deep, general. i was simply implying for you not go for askana’s king’s head, is all.”

with that, you begin to shift through the papers, cheeks burning from his raw honesty, devastatingly unaware of the wizard silently observing your interaction. not because he didn’t have anything to say, but because of the invisible line drawn over your desk between you and him.

it is sometime before the amber and orange rays of the sun peeks from the horizon, after a whole night of reviewing the documents and signing papers that needed your personal permissions, do you finally allow yourself to leave the walls of your office. your right arm is beginning to sore from the overuse - its condition have been deteriorating faster with every poison that entered your body, willingly or not.

yet you still find yourself in the throne room. the elven sword you’d managed to regain upon the siege sits over your head on the wall behind you. at times like these, when there were no guards or servants to watch you pathetically try to hold it with your right hand, do you let yourself curse and cry all at once.

the sword hits the ground with an clang, the echoes almost sounding like chortles of mockery.

when you try to pick it up, another hand covers yours that’s on the handle and you’re looking into the cosmos trapped inside a pair of eyes.

jungkook heaves out a sigh. gaze lowering to the luminous metal of the sword, “just hold on a little longer - i’ll find the cure and extract the dark magic from your body completely.”

“take your time - i still have several good years ahead of me.” you say yet you switch hands, your left one lifting the handle like it’s made of feather and sheathing it. your turn your back on him in an attempt to not let him see your puffed eyes and cheeks.

“does jimin know how bad it’s getting?” his question rings throughout the room.

“he doesn’t and i hope to keep it that way,” you shake your head, shoulder line falling.

after whole solid moment of the two of you basking in the silence out of having nothing to talk about, you finally break it, “i’m thinking of making him my marriage prospect - not the emperor but a husband. otherwise, the idea of being crown prince or princess would get over our child’s head.”

jungkook doesn’t say anything for the longest moment. you almost thought he apparated into thin air but you know he’s still here - you can feel his presence. 

“when i decided to love you - despite the prophecy, i decided to love you regardless of what you choose.” the zeal in his voice is missing and the fire in your heart rages.

the lower part of your untied robe fluttering as you twirl on your feet to face him. vision blurred with tear but you can still make out the outline of his rounded eyes and fallen jaw.

“i don’t want any of this!” the shrill of your scream tears through the high roof of the hall room. “can’t you see? all i did - it was because i couldn’t have you. i walked a slayer’s path because my mother wanted a part of her husband to live within me and when i finally found something i wanted - someone i thought i could spend my life with, that someone pushed the crown upon my hands. and i became the empress because you and the people wanted me to.”

you grip onto the silver carvings of the royal dragon that guards the throne.

“you and i both know we can’t be together,” he shakes his head, “dragon slayers and wizards are destined to walk alongside each other but cross the other’s path and a time of the fallen shall rise again - all i can do is continue to love you.”

it’s a prophecy as old as the world itself. yet wizards, especially, seem to have a knack for heeding fate’s alleged warnings.

“there have been dragon slayers and wizards before us - do you not think, if the world was going to fall into ruins, it would already have been, upon their unity?” you’ve never sounded so meek. so desperate, “why do we have to pay the price for a mere lore?”

 jungkook takes one step closer to you only to stop mid action. as though there’s an invisible line drawn between the throne and the aisle he stands on. “it’s easy for you to say - only us wizards are burdened with the oath our ancestors made with fate in exchange for knowledge - knowledge you can’t even comprehend, ___. if you saw the things i see in my dreams-” unlike two years ago, he shakes his head. teeth trapping his lower lip hard enough to draw blood.

this time, he can’t say it’s okay.

“and you have not seen what i saw in mine, jungkook.” you grit your teeth, “you haven’t been on the battlefield. fighting. driving your sword into someone’s son or daughter’s gut. these wars, the gruesome image that gets engraved in your head - they don’t go away.”

“we have our demons,” he tears his gaze from you to the ground, feet scuffing against the marble floor. as though he could see said demons crawling from the heat of your eyes if he continues to hold them, “we love each other so much but we have too many demons, ___.”

“that, we do.” you admit with a weary noise from the back of your throat, “do you think, if we’d eloped two years ago, we’d have less of those holding us back?”

“i can’t say for sure.” when he looks up, his eyes are brimming with tears, threatening to spill over and taint his flushed cheeks. “but perhaps, fate would have been kinder to us.”

“perhaps.” you echo, your own tears have already dried out.

jungkook bows, the sniffle escaping him shattering your heart. you want nothing more than to run to him and gather him in your arms. tell him it’s okay.

because your love and his was abundant.

but never enough.

(in the end, you find yourself in your throne, legs hugged to your chest, neck craned over your knees, falling asleep to the quietness before morning breaks.)

you still hear news of jungkook from time to time. he’s been traveling far and wide, aiding the needy, healing the weak with the light magic he��d obtained after a conquest with a group of companions he met along the way. that’s possibly one of the reasons that your image has gotten better throughout the empire. people who didn’t join the riot and know you personally, fear you less. you’ve been receiving more invitations to parties - even from the countries that supported the late emperor, not knowing that he was all-too-willing to hand over the throne to you.

and after a long, arduous series of pleading and begging from jimin, you finally segregate your work to your trusted ministries. with the surge of applications to join the royal army since the last five years, more captains have sworn their allegiance to you and subsequently, lifting jimin’s workload of training the recruits.

within that span of time, you’ve become legally married and closer than an empress and her war general. jimin smiles more now. though the years have molded his face with defined muscles and got rid of the baby fat, you still see the traces of the boyish knight you once fought alongside with in your younger days.

you train together from time to time, putting on a show for the new recruits.

“papa!” calista calls, seconds before her tiny figure escapes her governor’s hands and comes the pitter pattering towards jimin.

almost as though he sees nothing else but his daughter, he discards his sword to the ground, dropping on one knee to welcome the child into his arms. his chime-like chuckle fills the vicinity. you catch the lowest coo from some of the recruits watching from the sidelines - mostly the women whose attraction to your husband, doesn’t go unnoticed.

“’ista, what did i tell you about coming around here?” you sigh, sheathing your sword and gesturing for the colonels to continue the training.

“ask livie before i go anywhere near the training grounds.” calista mumbles, the pout no doubt inherited from her father while the fierce look in her eyes comes from you. even the deep ruby flecks of dark magic concentrated in her left eye that affected her since birth was from your blood. as a result, she never truly appears as though she understood why these rules were set out - even though you’d explained time and time again.

when you enter the hallway leading to the private royal wing with less prying eyes, you finally let a smile slip on your face. hand softly pinching calista’s cheeks. they remind you of jimin’s younger days.

“because...” you offer.

“it’s filled with weapons.” she mumbles out like a mantra but then she looks up, eyes bearing into you - you still need time to recover from the realization that the light in them once belong to you. “but mama, metal swords don’t hurt me! i have the scales of the dragons as skin!”

you’re about to contend that for the sake of arguing - with a four year old at that - before jimin’s chuckle reverberates against the walls,“she got you with that one, buttercup.”

he’d started calling you that on the first month after your engagement. when you brought him to the meadow of the aforementioned wildflowers blossom in full.

shooting jimin a warning gaze as to not show a difference in opinions, you finally relent when you notice your daughter’s observing gaze.

“for once, let me worry about you, ‘ista.” you let your shoulder line jolt as you cross your arms over your chest, your own pout forming on your lips.

it’s then, that you hear the rasp of a falcon and so does calista, confusing your human husband as both you and your daughter throw your gaze towards the artrium.

“what?” jimin asks a second before you raise your left hand up.

it takes another second for the falcon to land as calista squeals in delight at the majestic creature, tiny hands clapping in excitement.

“how have you been, orvelle?” you pat the bird’s head as it nuzzles into your touch, ignoring the jabs of needles from the slightest movement of your right arm.

“pretty birdy!” calista giggles, trying to stretch her whole body out of jimin’s arms to get to the falcon.

you chuckle, holding the domesticated bird closer once you untied the letter around its foot. 

jimin set your daughter down with the bird on the bed when you reached your chambers while you take a sit at the round table a few feet away where tea sets and sandwiches were laid out by the maids.

“it’s from jungkook,” you announce, though the purple ribbon tied around orvelle’s neck is already telling enough of the sender’s identity. but jimin simply nods, sipping on his tea while he throws his eyes over the balcony where the blue skies stretch as far as the eye can see. “he thinks he’s found the antidote to getting rid of the black magic my and calista’s blood streams.”

jimin’s lips twitches into a smirk - the kind of impressed smirk that’s reserved only for his wizard nemesis. “so he finally did it.”

“he’ll be returning with his companions within three weeks.” you set the letter down in exchange for the tea that’s going cold.

“he couldn’t just zap his way here?” jimin scoffs.

“well, he could but one of them is a lich - they’re susceptible to magic and can’t apparate.” you inform, having remembered the fact from one of his messages to you through orvelle.

that’s how you kept in touch. and somehow, you were able to find peace and bleed your apology through letters and receive the same amount of remorse from the wizard’s reply.

“what a bunch, he’s gathered.” the man across from you lets out a low chuckle, a somewhat proud smile adorning his lips.

then, he steals a glance at you, “what about you? are you going to be alright?”

you hum, setting the cup in the middle of the intricate golden-green tendrils that stretches around the edge of the saucer, “we’ve said our piece and kept in touch through letters. if anything, i’m excited for the three of us to gather again, aren’t you?”

looking up, you feel your chest lighten as you shoot a smile at the man. but his smiling lips has turned into a troubled pout. 

jimin pushes his hair back, those tresses falling back over his face perfectly. “i can’t say i am - not when my wife used to be in love with the wizard.”

the surprised look on your face must have been the reason for him to throw you an incredulous look, “come on, you didn’t think i’d welcome him with all smiles and hugs, do you?”

“jimin,” you say after a lingering gaze of your child’s pitter pattering form around the balcony as she tries to catch the bird hovering just inches from her fingers. eyebrows knitting together, you finally meet the aforementioned man’s gaze, “i had a child with you.”

“didn’t stop the empress of the west from taking five husbands at the same time.” he points out, almond shaped eyes going round with every heat the argument supplies, “nor did the king of kasken.”

the burst of laughter tumbles out of you from mouth like bells, so much so, you have to clasp a hand over your stomach while your husband mopes, clearly taking offense for you laughing over a serious concern - for him.

calista, having heard your fit, pads over and instantly gets picked up by you, setting her on your lap while she glances between you with confusion, “mama? papa?”

“’ista, what do you suggest we get papa for his birthday next month?” you smile down at your daughter.

“a birdie!” she claps, eyes sparkling with excitement.

“that’s what you want - we’ll get you a whole zoo, ‘ista, i promise.” you boop her nose, making her scrunch it, eyes blinking, smile glued to her lips as she throws her hand up in celebration of her birthday.

“now,” you sneak a peek at jimin’s pursed lips before averting your gaze to your child as you talk to her, “for papa, how about we conquer the winter kingdom? or slay a dragon and have uncle koo harvest its heart and turn it into an everlasting light source? or should we-”

“alright,” jimin huffs, elbows propped on his thighs as he pretends to cover his bashfulness with a cough, “enough with the discussion of showing your affection through extravagant gifts.”

“go give papa a kiss, ‘ista.” you whisper in your daughter’s ears before setting her down and watching as she pads her way around the table, hands stretching out for her blushing father who obliges anyway.

“i love you, papa.” the first hint of smile graces jimin’s lips when calista pecks him on his cheek, shoulder line vibrating from a suppressed chuckle.

you watch with a smirk of your own, how the spine-chilling general melts when his daughter comes into the world. 

“i don’t say it but me too, you know.” you murmur nonchalantly, taking a bite out of the sandwich.

and just like that, jimin’s pout returns, “’ista, papa is still sad because mama hasn’t said she loves me.”

“i-i do! i just said it.” you stammer in the presence of calista’s round eyes that’s boring into yours. if she’d gotten the fire from you, then she’d definitely gotten the puppy from jimin. 

your husband fakes a sniffle, chin rested on your daughter’s head so she couldn’t see the devilish smile that forms on his lips that he’s fixing you with. “you have to spell it out.”

“mama?” calista calls a second later of you eyeing jimin accusingly.

your shoulders sag as you relent, clearing your throat as you feel your cheeks burn, “i-i adore you - both of you.” you watch as calista’s round eyes continue staring, not quite equating adore with love but jimin’s eyes are already beginning to curve into crescent moons.

“i love you too.” jimin divulges, for a warlord, he’s never shy from expressing his feelings.

maybe that’s why it was easy to open your heart to him when you actually started looking away from the boy you grew up with started looking at the man you won’t mind growing old with.

“me too, mama!” calista jumps in her father’s lap, lips fixed into a grin, “i love you!”

[riversofmars]

Big, Vast, Complicated and Ridiculous - Chapter 3

Happy Sunday all! Here is the next brief encounter of the Big, Vast, Complicated and Ridiculous Series! Enjoy <3

Rating: G

Word count: 1700

Read on AO3 or below

The Maldovarium

The TARDIS ground to a halt with a jolt and the Doctor knocked the back of her head against the console.

“Thanks for that.“ She groaned, rubbing the bump, as she got to her feet. “I just need some time with her…“ She explained looking up to the central crystal. “You can’t just… show her to me and then she’s just gone again… I would have been fine if we’d just gone back to Sheffield…“

The TARDIS gave an apologetic wheeze.

“No, you’re right, I’m just… that just made me miss her even more.“ The Doctor closed her eyes for a moment, thinking of her wife. “If I could just… talk to her, properly and… I just need a damn hug…“ The Doctor admitted. She craved River’s closeness, her touch, her reassurance… She wanted to feel the way she always did around her. She’d had a taste of it just now, that feeling she got in the pit of her stomach when River looked at her with pride. As if she wanted to say: Look, that’s my husband right there. The way she’d only look at the Doctor, her Doctor… it made her feel like herself again. She needed more of it. “So where have you taken me now?“ The Doctor asked taking a deep breath, composing herself as she made her way to the door.

As she stepped outside, it took a moment for her to get her bearings. The Malovarium, Dorium’s trading post and bar. One of the most notorious places for black market dealings and illegal activities. Just the place River Song might be stopping off.

The Doctor closed the door behind herself, the TARDIS well hidden in a corner, and slowly started strolling through the crowd. All sorts pf species were among the many colourful guests, it was very busy and rather difficult to navigate. The Doctor did her best not to bump into anyone, knowing full well most of the people here would probably try to cut her head off for it. That was when she spotted a familiar head of hair up ahead.

“River…“ The Doctor smiled to herself, relieved that it had worked, the TARDIS had found her again. She quickened her step, trying to catch up to her. She couldn’t be sure where in her timeline River was just yet but her reaction to seeing her would probably give her a clue. The Doctor ducked past two rather shady looking Oods and spotted where River was headed. Dorium Maldovar was just giving a wave to one of his associates to allow River through to the VIP area that was cordoned off.

“Where do you think you’re going?“ A broad and unpleasant looking creature stepped into the Doctor’s way as she was about to duck under the barrier chain.

“Ah, sorry, I just need to go and see a friend, she’s just over there.“ The Doctor pointed to River who was heading towards Dorium.

“Only one at a time and only with permission.“ The creature barked and the Doctor held up her hands defensively. She took a few steps away, walking along the cordon, getting as close as she could to listen in.

“Miss Song, what a pleasant surprise.“ Dorium greeted River and gestured for her to take a seat. He waved for a waiter.  

“Dorium, always a pleasure.“ River retorted with a smile, crossing her legs as she sat.

“How can I be of service?“ The bar owner asked as River ordered a drink.

“In fact, I was wondering if I could be of service.“ River replied casually, folding her hands in her lap. “I’m in need of work… easy money, if you know what I mean.“

“Ah, you know, I have just the thing for someone of your skill set.“ He pulled several data pads from a pocket in his extravagant gown and sorted through them while their drinks arrived. “What’s your pleasure? Dead or alive? Criminal or missing family member…“

“Whichever pays the most.“ She smirked as she took a sip of her drink and Dorium pushed a data pad over to her. She picked it up, skimmed over the contents and placed it in her handbag with a smile. “That’ll do just fine. About the other thing?“

“Ah, well, that sort of information is a little harder to come by.“ Dorium replied taking a sip of his drink as well.

“So you haven’t heard anything?“ River frowned, clearly disappointed.

“I’m afraid not…“ He shook his head in response.

“Where could he be?“ For a moment, River’s carefully curated facade slipped. She was frustrated, disappointed, sad even as she shook her head to herself.

“You don’t just go to find the Doctor, he finds you. If he wants to, that is.“ Dorium mused and River sighed, regaining her composure:

“He better hurry up then, at this rate, I’ll have a doctorate by the time I see him again. Doctor River Song, quite the ring to is, doesn’t it.“

The Doctor hung back, observing the conversation between her two friends who, if they looked at her, probably wouldn’t have recognised her. This was a young River Song. River in the early days when the Doctor wasn’t around to measure and tame her. Ambiguous morals, quick of wit, so full of life and excitement and wonder. She was looking for her… him… however you wanted to look at it. This was before Madame Kovarian had found her again on the day she’d got her Doctorate and taken her to Lake Silencio. Would it be safe for her to reveal herself to her now? So early in her timeline?

The Doctor nearly panicked when she looked up again and realised that River had gone. Dorium had gone back to reading something on a data pad and the chair River had sat on had been abandoned.

“Can I help you with something?“ The Doctor jumped when River’s voice sounded behind her. She whirled around and stumbled back, surprised by how close she was standing to her, she nearly fell over the barrier chain behind her. River reached out and grabbed her by the collar of her coat, pulling her back and steadying her with a smirk on her face.

“I uhh…“ The Doctor was at a loss for words. Now that she found herself face to face with her very young wife, she had no idea how to act. River had given her no indication as to when they would meet properly, for the first time, safely, not to mess with the timeline.

“Do you think I wouldn’t notice you watching me?“ River smirked, tilting her head a little.

“Uhh…“ The Doctor blushed, she really had been very obvious.

“We’ve met before, haven’t we?“ River carried on, confusing the Doctor even more.

“You uhh… know who I am?“ The Doctor looked back at her in surprise. Maybe it was save to reveal herself after all, particularly if they had met before, how far back was she going to go in her wife’s timeline?

“I wouldn’t go that far but I remember a face as pretty as that…“ River retorted flirtly, running a finger along the Doctor’s jawline.

“Ah well, that’s alright then.“ The Doctor tried her best to compose herself and not show how much her simple touch effected her. She summoned up her courage and went on: “Cause actually we do know each other - will know each other - very well, in fact.“ A grin spread across her features as River raised her eyebrows intrigued.

“Oh I’m looking forward to that… how about you buy me a drink and tell me all about it.“ River smirked and ran her fingers along her future wife’s yellow braces.

“Yeah, sure, okay, I…“ The Doctor found herself nodding frantically wondering how to best introduce herself. “I’m actually…“

There was a loud crash and blaster fire.

“There’s no weapons permitted in here.“ Dorium called from behind his table, getting to his feet to have a closer look. River turned as well and the Doctor stood on her tiptoes to catch a glimpse of what was going on. Four Sontarans had just teleported right into the middle of the bar, discharging their weapons to get everyone’s attention.

“Silence blue man.“ One of the Sontarans snapped. “This bar will be annexed to the Sontaran Empire unless you surrender the one that calls herself River Song, we traced her here.“

“I’m sorry, dear, I’ve got to run, that is my cue.“ River ducked under the cordon.

“It’s okay, I have a ship, I can…“ The Doctor grabbed her arm to stop her.

“As tempting as that offer is, I wouldn’t want to put your lovely little head in harms way. It’s far too pretty to have bullet holes through it.“ River winked and bopped her nose. “Maybe we will meet again some day, and then you can show all the rooms in your ship. Starting with the bedroom.“

Before the Doctor could do anything else, River had pulled away and disappeared through the back ways of the bar.

The Doctor quickly slammed the door of the TARDIS shut behind herself, only barely evading a laser blast as the Sontarans wreaked havoc in the Madovarium. She sighed, both in relief and disappointment.

“It’s fine, it’s not your fault is it…“ The Doctor mumbled as she made her way to the console. “Maybe it’s just… maybe these fleeting moments is all we have left? I don’t know… River seemed to think I had so much to look forward to…“

The TARDIS hummed encouraging.

“I just need a point in time where we won’t be interrupted! Where she knows who I am, where…“ The Doctor shook her head to herself. Maybe she was kidding herself, maybe there was no point to this. Maybe she should go back to pick up Yaz and wait for River to find her instead.

This time, the TARDIS jumped into action on its own accord.

[drabbles-of-writing]

First Class Mess

This is part of my Four Years AU

AO3

Masterpost

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Living with Edric and Emira had it’s ups and downs.

On one hand, Amity could finally get away from her parents. It wasn’t a permanent living space, and she always made sure to spend at least a few nights at her parents house, excusing her absence as being busy with the Emperor’s Coven. But it was far better than trying to hide at the Owl House where her anxiety spiked through the roof, no offence to the family.

On the other hand, her siblings were an absolute mess.

,

“Rule number five, I don’t wanna see any girlfriends here.”

“Wow, okay, no, I veto that rule.” Emira said immediately, leaning her head off the couch arm to look over at her brother, who was sitting on the kitchen counter.

“Yeah, what gives?” Amity agreed, sitting on her knees on the couch.

“Amity, is there something you’d like to share with the class?” Emira asked, glancing back at her with a raised brow.

“You and I both know he just means Viney and Luz,” Amity growled, crossing her arms. “He just prefers to use the term girlfriends.”

“I meant they can’t stay over for the night,” Edric said, raising his hands defensively. “This apartment can barely fit the three of us without falling apart.” He said, gesturing to the room around them, which, admittedly, did look pretty ghetto.

“I don’t need to be dealing with you two causing more damage with your little crushes. They’re kind of known for causing trouble.” He said matter-of-factly. “And yes, I’m spreading this to Emira because it’s rude to stick it only on Amity.”

“Wow, thanks,” Amity grumbled as Emira gave an offended gasp.

“Unless someone is dying, I don’t wanna see any dates in here, understand?” Edric said. “At least not until we’ve gotten everything together in some capacity.”

“I resent this rule,” Emira insisted stubbornly.

“Yeah? Well, I’m older, therefore I win.” Edric said smugly.

“Ed, it was by eleven minutes.” ,

And that’s how Amity came to the apartment in the middle of a thunderstorm to find Edric and Jerbo in the kitchen. Both a little too close to be casual.

The second they registered the door opening, Edric sprung back. Jerbo whirled around from where he was perched on the kitchen counter (seriously, that thing can only hold so much weight).

Both of them looked like King when he’d been caught stealing from the fridge for the fifth time that week.

Amity stared at them for a few moments, her brain a little fried from dealing with the pelting boiling rain earlier.

“You’re such a hypocrite, Ed.” She finally said, walking in and kicking the door shut behind her.

“It’s just Jerbo!” Edric defended frantically, looking wildly between Amity and a very perplexed Jerbo.

“The fact you immediately knew which rule I was talking about isn’t helping your situation,” Amity called back, throwing off her overly thick coat onto the hanger by the door, too lazy to take off her Emperor’s Coven cloak on underneath.

“And unless you want Emira to taunt you endlessly, I suggest Jerbo should leave soon. No offence,” She added, looking towards the upperclassmen.

“None taken,” Jerbo said with a wave of his hand. “Viney’s not much different.”

Edric groaned and slumped against the counter beside Jerbo, head hanging. Jerbo gave him a sympathetic pat on the back.

Amity kicked off her boots and flopped dramatically onto the couch, waving her hand above her where the boys could see.

“Either go make out downstairs or make up your mind, ‘kay? Cause I’m tired.”

Jerbo made a strangled wheezing-like noise that reminded Amity of a deflating squeaky toy. Edric sprung upwards, flushing brightly.

“We were not making out!” He exclaimed, voice strained. “We were doing nothing even remotely like that, even!”

Amity sat up on the couch, turning her head to look over at her brother with a deadpan stare. She looked like she wanted to say something, but resigned to just sighing and laying back down on the couch.

“Whatever. I’m blackmailing you with this later.”

“You suck,”

,

“Quick question,” Emira said, poking her head into Amity’s room. “I can still get away with doing something illegal here, right?”

Amity looked up from her book, giving her sister a look that said her question was the stupidest thing she’d ever heard.

“I’m only a cop when on the clock, Em.” Amity said. “Anything illegal you do when I’m not working is fair game. Legally speaking.”

“Nice,” Emira pumped a fist.

“Can I ask what you’re planning on doing?” Amity raised a brow.

“You gonna rat us out?”

“I’d be a hypocrite if I did. Like somebody in this house!” Amity added the last part notably louder.

“Amity, shut up!” Edric called back.

“...I’m gonna ask about that later.” Emira said, pointing a finger at Amity. “Anyway, Viney can’t afford the supplies she needs to help out some baby bearstripes she found. So we were just gonna steal it and stash the supplies here.”

“You’re whipped,” Edric’s voice floated from the main room.

“Shut it, Ed!” Emira snapped back.

“Yeah, sure, go steal some stuff.” Amity shrugged. “I’m not working till tomorrow.”

“So we can totally commit crimes now?” Edric asked, suddenly appearing being Emira, looking far too excited.

“I mean, yeah, but I wouldn’t recommend it.” Amity said.

“If it’s a bad enough crime I could be put on a mission to hunt the two of you down. Obviously I’m not going to raid this apartment but if I catch you on the streets it is on sight.” She warned.

“Oh, so your little Owl family gets a free pass, but we don’t?” Edric scoffed.

“I do not give them a free pass!” Amity protested. “I throw Eda in jail all the time. I’ve never even had to break her out!”

“Right, sorry,” Emira amended. “Ed meant that your hopeless crush gets a free pass, but we don’t?”

Amity growled and threw her book at the two of them. They quickly jumped back and swung the door shut, letting the book hit it instead.

“That’s a yes,” Edric snickered.

“I’m not the only one who gives crushes a free pass!” Amity shouted after them.

There were a few beats of silence.

“You have got to be kidding me, Ed.”

,

Emira knew the rules of the apartment. Which meant there were barely any and they fluctuated from day to day.

The two big ones were that anything that happened in the apartment was a safe zone, and to avoid bringing over anyone associated with the Owl House, which sadly, included Viney and Jerbo, seeing as they were friends with Luz.

They loved everyone in the Owl House, they really did. But everyone in that family was known to be very chaotic, and they’d probably break the shabby apartment or piss off the neighbors more than the siblings already had.

It was simply a precaution.

Emira, however, was a known rule-breaker.

So, it wasn’t a surprise to find Viney sitting in the living room, currently wrapping up Emira’s sprained wrist.

“You're a mess,” Viney sighed, slowly bandaging her arm. “Can’t you ask your parents to cover your medical bills?”

“Course I can, but at one in the morning?” Emira scoffed, keeping her voice low. “I’ll bug them about it later.”

“Only you would get a sprained wrist and say it’s not that big a deal,” Viney sighed, gently raising Emira’s hand and letting her hand glow, doing her best to ease the pain.

“Eh, I’d say it was worth it anyway,” Emira hissed, flinching as she felt a sharp pain in her wrist.

“Sorry, sorry,” Viney whispered, laying her free hand over Emira’s to hold her still as she slowly healed the sprain as best she could.

“I don’t have any healing glyphs, so you’ll just have to leave it be till morning. The splint should work for now, though.” She continued, looking up at Emira.

Emira was staring at where Viney was holding her hand, blushing with her ears lowered, eyes blown wide.

Though that last part might’ve been because the only light was the moon shining through the small window beside the two.

“Em?” Viney tilted her head, smiling.

“Huh?” Emira jerked her head up. “Sorry, did, uh, did you say something?” 

Viney giggled and removed her glowing hand from Emira’s wrist, though she kept holding up her arm with her other hand.

“You’re ridiculous,” She said, shaking her head.

“All the best people are,” Emira replied, dipping her head to properly meet the shorter witch’s eyes.

Viney smiled and lightly pressed her forehead against Emira’s causing the girl to freeze and stiffen up.

Emira’s face lit up and her eyes darted around, though she didn’t move away.

“S-so, sorry to hi-hide you out here,” She stuttered, shoulders hunched. “But Ed pre-pretty much broke...broke that rule s-so I’m sure it’s not...not that big a--”

“Em,”

Viney leaned forward more and squished their noses together, giving the Blight a rather amused look.

Emira quickly shut her mouth with an audible clack, meeting the witch’s gaze.

Viney slowly tilted her head forward, her eyes closing.

Emira did her best to calm her heart before leaning in as well.

Something clattered, loudly, on the kitchen floor.

Viney froze and jumped back, startled. Emira only slumped, thoroughly annoyed.

“It is one AM!” Emira snapped, leaning around the couch. “Ed, what are you doing--”

It wasn’t Ed.

Amity shut the fridge, a slice of bread in her mouth and a bag of snacks in her hands, along with the cup she had dropped.

She looked over, surprised to see Emira, before morphing into a look of understanding when she saw Viney peek out as well.

Amity took out the bread in her mouth, setting the cup down in it’s previous position by the sink.

“Carry on,” She said calmly, holding her snacks as she walked out of the kitchen and back to her room.

Emira glared in the direction where Amity left for a moment before she heard a snort behind her.

She looked back, seeing Viney was doing her best to smother a laugh.

“...what?” Emira demanded, raising a brow.

Viney broke into a fit of giggles then, barely able to smother a loud laugh that would definitely wake up Edric.

“I’m sorry, it’s just--I wasn’t expecting that!” She snickered. “What’s your sister even doing up this late?”

“I guess being up at ungodly hours just runs in the family,” Emira sighed, embarrassed as she picked up one of the pillows that had fallen off the couch with her uninjured hand and placed it in her lap.

“I take it that was probably my cue to leave,” Viney chuckled, standing up. “My dad will get worried if I’m not there in the morning.”

“Oh, yeah, right,” Emira said, visibly deflating.

“Keep off that hand, you hear me?” Viney said, gathering up her bandages and extra splints into her bag. “And go to the hospital to get it properly fixed in the morning.”

“I know, I know,” Emira muttered bitterly, looking up at Viney with puppy-dog eyes. “Do you have to go?”

“Sorry, Em. But I’d rather get at least some amounts of sleep.” Viney said. “I’ll check on you tomorrow, okay?” She said, leaning down and kissing Emira’s forehead.

Emira, somehow, lit up even brighter with her ears twitching downwards. She held her pillow tighter and buried her face in it.

“‘Kay,” She mumbled shlyly.

Viney giggled and stepped back, making her way towards the door. 

“Don’t lay on your hand too much,” She added, opening the door.

“‘Kay,” Emira repeated, lifting her head ever so slightly and watching Viney with one eye.

Viney gave a small wave before stepping out of the apartment, shutting the door behind her.

Emira only continued watching the door where Viney left, absolutely lovestruck.

“All I wanted to get was a drink,” Came a grumble behind her.

“Amity!” Emira gasped, sitting upright and looking around the couch again to see Amity had wandered back in to grab a drink. 

“I didn’t ask to see my sisters failing flirting attempts,” Amity muttered, pouring herself a cup of apple juice.

“Go back to bed!”

“I’d rather die,”

,

“Okay, okay, but what if instead of teeth, the worm had legs inside its mouth.”

“Ed, it’s like, ten. I’m not doing this right now,” Emira groaned, sitting on her bed as Edric sat on the floor beside her.

“Helps keep us awake, doesn’t it?” Edric shrugged. “Shouldn’t Amity have come back by now?”

“Maybe she just decided to sleep over and forgot to tell us,” Emira said, checking her scroll.

Sure enough, her last text from Amity, thirty minutes ago, only said ‘I’ll be back soon.’

“Doesn’t really seem like her, though.” Edric frowned.

The sound of a window opening caught their attention. Both of them scrambled out of Emira’s room and peered around the corner, curious.

Amity crawled in through the window, brushing herself off before turning back around.

Luz was outside the window, standing on her staff as it flew beside the open window. The staff lowered so Luz could learn her arms on the windowsill, giving Amity a smug look.

“See? I’m not that bad of a flier,” She said proudly.

“Uh huh, sure.” Amity said, sounding amused. “After the first couple of terrifying minutes,”

“You wound me,” Luz said with a dramatic sigh. “Why must I be cursed to be with such a cruel witch?”

“Oh hush,” Amity chuckled, batting at Luz’s arm. “You made me late!”

“Was it worth it, though?” Luz said, tilting her head with a grin.

“...yeah,” Amity admitted, turning her head away, a faint blush on her cheeks.

“That’s the Noceda charm for ya,” Luz winked.

“You’re impossible,” Amity grumbled bashfully.

“Yeah, but you like that.” Luz said, leaning forward through the window.

“Very much so,” Amity agreed, meeting Luz’s chaste kiss with a smile.

“Wha--”

Edric, who had been leaning too far out, fumbled and fell over with a loud thump. Much to Emira’s chagrin.

Amity broke the kiss and whirled around, face flushing even more when she spotted both of her siblings.

“When did you two get here?” She demanded, pressing back on the windowsill, where Luz was now staring in, startled.

“We live here, Amity.” Emira deadpanned, not bothering to help up Edric. “And you have some explaining to do, young lady!”

“I think I’m just gonna…” Luz slowly flew a few feet away from the window. “I think I’m gonna go…”

“Yeah, you probably should.” Amity sighed, looking back. “Bye, Luz.” “See you tomorrow,” Luz gave a shy smile before sitting appropriately on her staff and flying off in a flash, clearly embarrassed about the situation as well.

“Hold on!” Edric shot up from the floor. “Since when was this a thing?”

“It was recent,” Amity grumbled, shutting the window.

“Are you telling me our Mittens got herself a girlfriend?” Emira asked excitedly, spinning the girl around.

“I can’t believe she beat me,” Edric muttered, crossing his arms as he sat dramatically on the couch.

“Suck it,” Amity teased, sticking out her tongue. “And listen, I was planning on telling you, but it was pretty recent and we didn’t really--”

“How recent, exactly?” Emira raised a disbelieving brow.

Amity looked away, ears flicked back.

“Like a week and a half...?”

“...that’s reasonable.” Emira nodded, releasing her sister. “And it was about time, too!” She said, ruffling her hair.

Amity slapped away her sister's hands, embarrassed as Edric gave her a grin.

“Guess we gotta compete for second place, huh?” Edric teased.

“You and I both know you and Jerbo couldn’t ask the other on a date to save your sanities.”

“I never said it was Jerbo!” Edric squawked.

The sisters shared a knowing look but didn’t say anything.

“Anyway, I’m tired. I had a long day,” Amity said, walking by her siblings. “I’m gonna head to bed.”

“Try not to get lost dreaming about that heart-stealer of yours!” Emira called after her.

“Don’t make me come back out there!” Amity’s voice warned from around the corner.

“Whatever you say, Mittens!”

,

Amity wasn’t used to late-night shifts.

Coming to the apartment early in the morning was a pain. Her mask was pushed up on her head as she walked into the apartment on quiet feet, ready to collapse and sleep all day.

Edric was in the kitchen.

He was never up this early.

His elbows were leaning on the kitchen counter, and he was covering his face with one hand, his other clenched into a fist on the counter.

Amity blinked and took off her mask, setting it on the coat hanger and slowly walking over, worry evident on her face.

“Ed?” She asked quietly.

Edric jolted and jerked his head up, expression flashing to that of momentary fear.

He was crying.

“Mi-Mittens!” Edirc gasped, quickly wiping at his eyes. “I-I didn’t hear you come...come in,”

“Edric?” Amity rushed over around the counter, gently grabbing her older brother's arm. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” He said, giving her a sorrowfully forced smile. “Was, er, cutting some tear-peppers earlier and it hasn’t gone away yet.”

Amity sighed and looked up at her brother.

“Ed, that’s the worst lie I’ve ever heard.” She said bluntly. “What happened?” She asked again, her voice softer.

“You shouldn’t have to worry about it,” Edric insisted. “It’s my job to look after you, remember?”

“You're my brother, not my dad, thank Titan.” Amity muttered. “I’m not thirteen, Ed.” She continued. “You can tell me,”

Edric gazed down at his little sister for a moment. He swallowed before sighing and letting his shoulders slump.

“Just a little stressed,” He admitted, turning away to stare at the empty counter. “You know, what with trying to actually make a living without mom or dad's help.” He sighed.

“And then there’s the whole rebellion thing me and Em are working on. And that stupid tennant I hate. And trying to find a decent part of the Illusion Coven to join, since we definitely want to stick to that.” He continued.

“And…” He glanced down at Amity. “Well, let’s just say that fear of loneliness isn’t looking too irrational right now,” He said, sounding like he was seconds away from breaking down, hands shaking.

“Hey, that’s not true,” Amity said, squeezing Edric’s arm. “Me and Em aren’t gonna leave you.”

“Amity, you’re in the Emperor’s Coven. You're a spy. You're part of something big.” Edric shook his head. “You’ve got a lot ahead of you.”

“And Em…” He looked away. “Em’s got something going for her. You don’t become mom's favorite by being mediocre.”

“Who cares what mom thinks?” Amity demanded. “She isn’t worth either of our times. Last I checked, she was just as mean on Emira after you flunked the Emperor’s Coven tryouts as she was with you.”

“...she said a lot of things you didn’t hear,” Edric said quietly. “I’m grateful you were at the Owl House.” He murmured. “You deserve a place like that.”

Amity stared up at her brother, a sinking feeling in her stomach.

Just how long, she wondered, had Edric been hiding these things from her? From Em?

She leaned against his side, burying her head in the crook of his arm.

“You deserve it, too.” She said softly. “You were able to stand up to mom, you made your own choices and even let me live with you…I couldn’t do those on my own.” She shut her eyes.

“You never gave up, even after all that. That’s what I always liked about you, y’know?”

She felt Edric stiffen and shutter, trying to hold back cries as tears freely fell down his face. He drew an arm around his little sister, pulling her close and pressing his nose into her hair.

They stayed like that for a while. Holding each other in silent reassurances.

,

It was late in the afternoon, sunset fast approaching.

The three siblings were all at different places in the apartment, for once, having a moment of peace among them.

That was, until, the power cut out.

Amity raised her head from where she was reading on the couch. Edric paused making his sandwich and Emira poked her head out of her room.

None of them said a word for a few moments.

“Did you two seriously forget to pay the power bill?” Amity broke the silence.

“I swore I paid it!” Edric insisted. “They didn’t give a notice or anything!”

“You just keep forgetting to close the mailbox, you great idiot!” Emira growled, walking into the main room. “Maybe they just got lost or something.”

Amity got off the couch and opened the apartment door, peering out. 

There were no lights in the hallways, and she could see a few other tenants looking out in confusion as well.

“Nope, it’s a complex issue.” Amity said, looking back. “Whole place lost power.”

“Fantastic,” Emira grumbled. “In the beginning of winter!”

“At least there isn’t any snow yet,” Amity shrugged.

“We’re going to freeze to death in like half an hour.” Edric sighed, stepping out from behind the counter.

“I’m sure I could find some blankets,” Emira insisted.

“You guys know we could just like...go to the Owl House?” Amity raised a brow.

Both her siblings turned to stare at her, blinking dumbfoundedly.

“...right, you guys don’t go there as often.” Amity mumbled quietly. “Look, how about we just head on over? Eda will understand. This should only last for a day or so, anyway.”

“So long I’m not freezing, I’ll take it.” Edric said, already grabbing his coat.

“Isn’t it a bit late?” Emira worried.

“Someone in that house is always awake, no matter the hour.” Amity assured her. “They won’t mind.”

“Yeah, because you have special girlfriend status,” Edric teased.

“Jealous,” Amity shot back, a blush coming to her cheeks as she held the door open for her siblings. “The Owl House has its own power, anyway. So it should be fine.”

“And if not, you get to snuggle up to Luz,” Emira taunted.

“I’m going to let Fang bite both of you,” Amity threatened, walking out after her siblings and through the dark hallways of the apartment complex.

“Ha! Jokes on you, he already bit me.��� Edric said proudly. “I’m immune.”

“That’s not how that works.” ,

“Hi, Amity!” Hooty greeted, well before the Blight siblings were at the front porch.

“Can it, Hooty.” Amity said with a sneer. “Tell Eda we’re here,”

“Oh, she already knows.” Hooty said cheerfully. “Luz saw you through the--”

The door was suddenly swung open, and Hooty’s face smashed against the side of the house, much to his complaints.

Eda stood there, looking over the two young-adults and teenager with a confused, but not unwelcome expression.

“Didja get kicked out of your apartment?” She inquired, flicking an ear.

“Power went out,” Emira explained. “Amity said you’d let us stay while it gets fixed?”

“What did I say about making decisions for me?” Eda scolded the girl. “I keep getting Luz’s friends showing up because you insist that I’ll let them in.”

“And yet, you never disappoint,” Amity said with a grin. “May we come in?”

Eda muttered under her breath about kids these days before stepping aside, allowing the three to wander on in.

“Amity,” Lilith greeted from where she was having a cup of tea on the couch. Amity swore that woman was addicted to the stuff.

“Amity!” Luz said at the same time, much more enthused as she rushed from the window and enveloped the witch in a hug. “What’s with the party?” She asked.

“Power problems,” Emira explained for her flustered sister. “We’re just gonna hang here for a bit. Don’t let us invade your mushy time,” She teased, stepping around them and looking at the house.

“Aw, come on!” King complained, crawling out from underneath the table in front of the couch. “Now I’ll never get sleep with a bunch of teenagers around.”

“Excuse you, we’re nineteen! Legal adults,” Edric corrected.

“Same difference,”

Lilith rolled her eyes and offered tea to the twins. Emira accepted it while Edric hung up their coats, watching as both his sisters seamlessly fit right into the discussions of the Owl family, despite their sudden intrusion.

He smiled to himself, slowly looking around the Owl House.

Yeah, they’d picked a good family.

,

It was late.

Amity hadn’t made it home.

Emira had called the Owl House to see if Amity was there. They said she’d left two hours earlier, and were surprised to hear she hadn’t made it back to the apartment yet.

They said Amity had left after getting a call from their mother.

It was nearly midnight.

Edric was beside himself with worry, pacing the living room.

They’d even called up Keene, the second-in-command of Amity’s Emperor’s Coven group. She had given his number to them for strict emergencies.

He hadn’t seen her either.

“I’m going to go look for her,” Edric said, breaking Emira out of her train of thought and storming towards the door. “Something must have happened with mom and dad.”

“I’ll wait for her here,” Emira nodded. “I’ll call you if she--”

Right as Edric was about to open the apartment door, it swung open very aggressively.

“Amity!” The twins exclaimed.

The seventeen-year-old stood hunched in the doorway, head hanging and bangs covering her eyes. She was shaking, violently. She was still in her Emperor’s Coven outfit, as she had visited the Owl House first and didn’t have a spare change of clothes.

“Where have you been?” Edric asked worriedly, crouching down. She was always shorter than them. “We were worried sick!”

“Did something happen?” Emira added, getting off the couch. “Mittens?”

The girl raised her head, and the twins gave a sharp intake of breath.

Amity’s face was stained with tears, her eyes red and swollen. She had a dark, angry purple bruise on her left cheek, and was rubbing at her left wrist.

“What happened?” Emira demanded, shutting the door as Edric pulled Amity into the apartment.

“I-I,” Amity stuttered, fresh tears already beginning to leak from her eyes as her siblings gently led her to the couch and sat on either side of her.

“I didn’t mean to,” Amity sniffled, shoulders trembling. “I didn’t mean to say it, I didn’t, I--”

“Hey, hey, shh,” Edric comforted, holding her hands to stop her messing with her wrist. “Just tell us what happened, Amity.”

Amity took in sharp, shaky breaths for a few moments, trying to calm herself down.

“M-mom wanted me to c-come home,” She explained, though the twins already knew. “She...she told me it was because I left something there. I-I went over and...and,”

She bit her lip, holding back a cry as Emira gently placed a hand on her back.

“She got mad,” Amity said, her voice rattly. “She...she said she talked to Keene and-and he said I wasn’t spending as much t-time at the Coven as I said...he...he didn’t know--”

“Hey, we know, we know,” Emira said softly. “What else?”

“Sh-she demanded to know where I-I’d been,” Amity sniffled, holding herself. “I did...didn’t want to tell her, so I,” She inhaled. “I got mad...I got mad, I told her it wasn’t...wasn’t her business…I didn’t even really li-live with her…”

The twins fearfully glanced at each other. Nobody talked back to their mother. Not unless they wanted a death sentence.

Edric raised his hand and Amity flinched, and he felt a stab of pain in his chest.

He slowly, and genty, brushed his hand by her shoulder, right below where her bruise was.

“It...it didn’t go well,” Amity murmured, pulling off her gloves and revealing she had a bruise around her left wrist, looking like she had been sharply grabbed.

“Did mom do this?” Emira demanded quietly, gesturing to the nasty mark on her face.

Amity didn’t answer.

“She said sorry right after,” Amity mumbled, almost inaudible.

The twins stared, horror striking them to the core. Edric wrapped his arm around Amity’s shoulders, pulling her closer. She let him, sniffling.

“...you’re not going back there.” Emira decided. “I don’t care how many laws we break. You won’t.”

“I already told them,” Amity murmured, glancing over at her. “I...I said I was a member of the Emperor’s Coven and they, they couldn’t tell me what to do anymore…”

She lifted her unhurt hand to her cloak and withdrew Fang, her palisman, who was curled around her fingers and looked up at the twins.

“Eda showed me a re-recording spell before I left. They know I can use it if, if they try to get me back.”

Neither of the twins wanted to know what that snake had seen.

“Good, because you were never going to go back there to begin with.” Edric said firmly. “Well, no, no, not good, that’s probably not--”

Emira punched his arm and he winced, but obediently went quiet.

“What if she finds out I live here?” Amity asked quietly, curling closer into Ed’s shoulder. “She-she’ll try to do something. What if she cuts you off?”

“We don’t want anything to do with her anymore, I assure you.” Emira growled.

“You-you need the money,” Amity sniffled. “I know you do.”

“We can start making our own--” “Please,” Amity turned her head, giving her sister a scared look. “Please don’t cut off mom. She’ll do something worse.” She said, voice going quieter. “Not yet. You need it now. I’ll be okay.”

Emira wanted to argue, she really did.

But she couldn’t.

Getting jobs in this time of the Boiling Isles, and in this region, was tough. Especially for illusionists. They’d made a bit of money here and there, but a lot of their support came from their mother and father, who grudgingly handed it out so to make their children at least look like they were surviving on their own, for the public.

And it wasn’t like any of them could go to the coven just yet. In a real court battle, they knew their parents would win. They always would.

It was their public image that worried them. And for now, the Blight children had the upper hand.

They’d have to let the spider come to them. As horrifying as the thought of waiting sounded.

“Alright,” Edric related, drawing circles on her arm. “But you aren’t going anywhere near them. Not ever again. Do you understand?”

Amity didn’t respond. She just pulled herself closer to Edric, shuttering with the strain to hold back sobs.

Edric pulled her into a real hug, and Emira wasn’t far behind. They both murmured words of comfort as Amity muffled her cries in Edric’s shoulder, tense with the effort.

If this was what the Blight name meant, they didn’t want it.

[phykios]

people on ao3 were thirsty for this fic so... here you go, tumblr ❤ 

put on the red light M, sex work au, modern royalty au, no powers au  [read on ao3]

🌊🌊🌊

Sometimes, she really regrets being best friends with Piper.

Said best friend still gapes at her from across the table, jaw practically on the floor. “Never?”

Annabeth rolls her eyes. “Never.”

“Not even, like, at school?”

“When I would have had the time?” she asks. “I was attempting a five-year program in four years, and then… well, you know.” And she does know, all about the very exciting drama that went down in Annabeth’s senior year.

Piper is still flabbergasted. “Not even high school?”

Annabeth takes a sip of her drink. “I wasn’t exactly a hot commodity in high school.” She’d been passively pretty all her life, but she hadn’t exactly been what some might call Girlfriend material, capital G. She’d stuck to her fifteen year plan to the letter, eschewing most social contact, working herself into the ground to overcome ADHD by sheer force of will and get into Harvard, a plan which allowed approximately zero time for a boyfriend. Not that there were even boys that she had really liked at the time.

The only boy she had ever considered liking in that way, well. She had lost contact with him a while ago.

“I can’t believe this.”

“Believe it or not, Ripley, it’s true. I’ve never had sex. You happy?”

“I mean, if you don’t mind me asking, are you ace?” Piper asks. “Because that’s totally cool, of course.”

She shakes her head. “Definitely not ace.” She has a minor collection of personal massagers and insertable devices should she ever need to take care of an urge, and plenty of fantasies she can call on whenever the need arises--a system which has worked just fine for years.

“I just…” Piper stares, unconvincingly. “How?”

Shrugging, she takes another sip of coffee. “Just never got around to it, I guess.”

It’s not something she’s proud of, but by the same token, it’s not something that brings her shame, either. It is what it is; Annabeth, a notable workaholic, has never had sex with another person in her life. In some ways, it sucks, sure, but in other ways, it’s been a blessing in disguise. After all, no previous partners means that there’s no one to spread any dirt on the newly minted Princess Anja Elisabet of Sweden.

But Piper isn’t having it.

“Do you… want to have sex?” she asks. “Like, ever?”

As the daughter of one of the biggest movie stars in the world, she knows that Piper has had her fair share of high profile relationships, something that earned her a little bit of a nasty (and, quite frankly, racist) reputation among the paparazzi, which is ridiculous, since Piper is one of the most effortlessly gracious and classy people Annabeth knows. Piper does not go slinging herself and her partners around in the media like some of her contemporaries; instead, she likes to keep her personal details a bit closer to the chest, sharing them only with trusted confidants, like Annabeth, who knows full well how much Piper enjoys the act of sex. Sex for Piper isn’t dirty or taboo, it’s fun and it’s being close with other people, it’s liberating and exciting and intimate, and she extols its virtues whenever asked to give her opinion.

She makes sex sound really good, but never in a way that makes Annabeth feel ashamed for never having done it. Until now, of course. “Well… yeah,” says Annabeth. “I’d like to. I mean, I think it’d be kind of nice, you know, to do it at least once.”

“But then you’d have to start dating,” Piper surmises.

“Yeah,” says Annabeth, glumly.

Dating is a notorious problem for people in her line of work. Royalty, not architects, that is. Dating for architects is easy; just find someone who doesn’t mind the type A personalities and the obsession with work. Dating for royals is… significantly harder, and not really something she wants to engage with right now. She’s only been a royal for a few years, after all—she still feels like it’s a big cosmic joke, that someone is going to unearth some old documents or reveal a couple of forgeries that will bring the whole thing crashing down, and she doesn’t want to bring an outsider into all that drama, let alone deal with it herself.

Piper takes a sip of her drink, thoughtful, then lays out her next question carefully. “Have you ever considered a one-night stand?”

Annabeth stares. “You’re kidding me.”

“I’m not! People do it.”

“Yeah,” she scoffs, “people. Not me.”

“It’s really not hard,” Piper says, “I’ve done it plenty of times.”

“What, you want me to make a tinder?”

She laughs. “God, wouldn’t that be a riot. But no, I mean, there have to be other single royals or celebs around. Why not one of them?”

“Because they’re all insufferable social-climbing jackasses that make me want to rip my skull out of my face every time I’m forced to listen to them at a state dinner.”

“Okay, then.” Never one to be deterred, Piper pulls out her phone, then waits until Annabeth has taken a sip of her drink, presumably to keep her from immediately disagreeing, before dropping the bomb to end all bombs. “Let’s get you an escort.”

Annabeth snorts iced coffee directly out of her nose.

“Shit! Sorry!” Piper shoves a handful of napkins at her. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry, do you need water?”

Wheezing, Annabeth shakes her head. “Give me a sec,” she coughs, fingers covering her mouth.

Thank God she’s got her trusty, anti-pap hat on. If anyone took a picture of her like this, her uncle would probably disown her.

“What the hell, Piper?” she rasps when she can finally breathe again.

“I’m so sorry, I should have timed that better.”

“No, I mean—”  she coughs again. “The other thing.”

She raises an eyebrow. “The escort?”

“Keep your voice down!” On instinct, she glances around the London cafe, looking for any stray microphones. Satisfied that no one is listening for the moment, she turns back to her insane best friend. “Yes, the… that thing.”

“It’s not that crazy,” says Piper, turning back to her phone. “We’ll find you a really nice one, someone super high class and discreet, draw up an NDA, and then you can cross it off your bucket list. Man or woman?”

“Man, but—" she sputters. “I—I can’t see a prostitute! Can you imagine the scandal if it got out?”

Forget the iced coffee thing. The princess of Sweden, caught with a hooker… Annabeth is nauseous just thinking about the media circus.

“Not a prostitute,” Piper corrects. “An escort.”

“Isn’t that the same thing?”

“Same umbrella, but no.” She types away, faster than Annabeth can keep track of. “Pimping is illegal here, but escorts usually have managers.”

“Be that as it may,” because Piper seems to have forgotten the key part of this conversation, “I can’t have sex with an escort.”

“Why not?”

“Because…” The million and a half legitimate reasons not to go through with it all fly through her mind, getting lost somewhere on the way to her mouth. “Because!”

Piper just smiles at her. “I’ll get you a really nice one, promise. Think of it as a late birthday present.”

“It’s September.”

“Early Christmas, then.” And she grins, full of teeth. “Just trust me, okay? Let me take care of it.”

Famous last words, she thinks, popping a bit of scone in her mouth.

***

7PM, the Dorchester Hotel. Dinner first, then… whatever, later.

Annabeth can’t help but arrive early. She’d never been a punctual person before, but apparently now it’s been beaten into her with all the rest of her princess training.

Five-star hotels are still something of a novelty for her, even though she’s stayed in quite a few by now. Thankfully she’s never stayed here before; she’d be too worried someone on staff would recognize her.

She had thought that she’d show up early, psych herself up a little, get emotionally prepared, or at least have a little time to calm her racing heart before her… date… showed up.

Unfortunately, as punctual as she is, apparently, he’s beaten her to the punch.

He’s exactly where he said he’d be, wearing exactly what he said he’d be wearing; black suit, blue tie, gold watch. Her heart is beating so loudly, she’s sure he can hear it from across the room. “Um, excuse me,” she asks, a little more timid than she’d like, sidling up to the man. “Paris?”

At his name--well, she assumes it’s his name, but it’s probably a pseudonym now that she thinks about it--he lifts his head up, his lips already quirking up in a smile that she can only describe as troublemaking. “Bethany?”

Right. She used a pseudonym as well. A second pseudonym—one other than Anja. “Yeah,” she smiles in return, her shakiness easing.

“Hey!” He stands up from his seat in the lounge, leaning in and kissing her on the cheek. “It’s so nice to meet you!”

“You too.” She realizes with a pang; he is so tall. He’s tall, with broad shoulders and a trim waist, startlingly green eyes and thick, curly black hair. And… “You’re American?”

“I am,” he says, unashamed. “The accent gave me away, huh? Hope you weren’t looking for something else.”

“No, no, it’s fine,” she assures him. “I just wasn’t expecting it. It’s fine!"

He grins, crookedly, and she feels her heart skip a beat. “I’ll take it. Shall we head to dinner, then?”

***

Dinner was amazing, of course. The food, the atmosphere, and the company, she fully admits—all exceptional. Paris is an amazing conversationalist, she discovers, smart and funny and attentive, even gently teasing her a little. “You’re American, too, you know,” he’d said, sipping on his glass of wine, “so you can’t give me any grief over my lack of an accent.”

“I don’t live here,” she’d retorted, pointing her fork at him, “unlike some people I could mention.”

“Where do you live?”

“Ah, well—” Covering up her hesitation by taking a bite of chicken, she’d thought quickly. “Grew up in the States, but recently I moved to, um, Sweden, to be closer to my family.”

He’d nodded. “Expat, huh?”

“Something like that.”

He’d listened to her, really listened, chimed in at appropriate moments, made surprisingly insightful comments about her job and her life, and, well, he’s kind of perfect. If he weren’t an escort, he’d make an amazing boyfriend. She tells him as much, in the elevator on the way up to his room.

“Aw, thank you!” He smiles at her, a single dimple popping out under his strong cheekbones. “That’s very kind of you to say.”

“Why do you do this, anyway?” she asks. “I mean,” oh God, that question is some kind of faux pas isn’t it, Christ what the hell happened to all her etiquette training, “you don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to—”

“No, it’s okay,” he says as the elevator door opens. They’re up on a high floor, where the higher high rollers like to stay, and she follows him as he walks confidently down the hallway. “It’s not an offensive question.”

Still, she feels pretty shitty for asking. “I’m sure you get asked that all the time.”

“Most clients honestly aren’t all that interested,” he admits, shrugging a shoulder. “They need something, I can provide it. It can be a little transactional at times, but I’ve met a lot of really cool people, so it all balances out in the end.” Arriving at their door, Paris swipes his keycard, holding it open for her like some kind of butler. “After you.”

The room is enormous, even for a five-star hotel. It is a full-on suite, with a seating area and separate bedroom, a large wooden desk off to one wall, a gorgeous, floor-to-ceiling window that looks onto Hyde Park, full of lights dotted about like mini constellations. “Wow,” she breathes, “look at that view.”

“I never get tired of it,” Paris says, coming up behind her. “No matter how many times I come here.”

“You come here a lot?” she asks. She almost follows it up with a question on how he can afford it, but she ruthlessly quashes that down.

“My clients like it,” is all he says.

“I’m not surprised, all that 1930s deco in the lobby. The façade is a little plain, though, in my opinion.”

“Oh yeah? How would you do it better, Miss Architect?” She gets the sense that he’s teasing her. It feels oddly intimate for the situation—he’s not a friend, or a boyfriend, or even a date. He’s an escort. Providing a service, as he put it. He shouldn’t be so friendly with her.

And yet. “Well, I love Neoclassical, but honestly, I’m not super into hotels.”

“What are you into, then?” Casually, he undoes his tie, sliding it off his neck. She swallows.

“Um.” Focus, girl. “Office buildings, monuments. I dunno. I just want to… I just want to build something good, you know? Something permanent. Proof that I was here, you know?”

“Something permanent, huh?” He speaks softly, a respectable distance away, but she’s drawn in anyway, by his open shirt collar and his easy demeanor and his stupid sea green eyes that remind her so much of— “That sounds really nice.”

Then he steps up to her. His hand, warm and big, draws up her arm, fingers tracing lightly over her skin, and she shivers. He cups her neck, fingering the hair at the base of her scalp, and leans in, his lips parted. He smells like salt, like the perfume of the wine they shared, like the sea on a sunny morning.

“Wait,” she murmurs against his lips.

Immediately, he pulls back. “Is something wrong?” he asks, concerned.

“No, no, it’s fine, I just—” She swallows, her heart racing. “I just need a minute.”

“Of course.” He takes a step back, and she has to stop herself from pulling him in further. “Do you need anything? Water, champagne? They always stock the minifridge.”

She shakes her head. “No, I’m fine. It’s just, I’ve never… done this before.”

“What, hire an escort?” He grins, rakish. “I can tell.”

“Not that—I mean, yes, that too, but I mean—I’ve never—” She huffs, annoyed she has to have this conversation twice in one week. “I’ve never had sex before, okay?”

That shocks him a little. His eyes widen, taken aback. “Oh.”

“Yeah.” Chuckling weakly, she rubs a hand on her arm, looking out the window. “So… yeah.”

“So, don’t take this the wrong way,” says Paris, “but, there are easier ways to get laid than by using a professional. I mean, I’m grateful for the business and all, but, well, look at you.” He looks her up and down, somehow simultaneously respectful and entirely indecent. “I don’t think you’d have a problem getting a date.”

“It’s… complicated.” Understatement of the fucking millennium. “My friend thought this would be the easiest way to… go about it.”

Paris laughs. “You don’t agree.”

“I don’t… not agree,” she says. “I’m just. A little nervous.”

He nods. “I’d bet.” Chewing his lip, he looks towards the bedroom suite, and Annabeth tries not to think about how those teeth would feel on her mouth instead. “How about this; why don’t you take a shower? It might help calm you down a bit.”

“Won’t you be lonely?” she quips, a moment of reckless bravery.

“I have a few calls I can make,” says Paris, eyes dancing. “Go on. Make yourself comfortable.”

***

She has to hand it to the five-star hotels; the shower is always outstanding. Amazing pressure, amazing heat, it definitely rivals the plumbing in some of the castles she’s stayed at. And the robes, always so soft and warm, though a little on the small side. This one just barely covers her ass, which she figures isn’t a huge problem for tonight, but still.

When she steps out of the bathroom, she can hear Paris talking. “Uh huh,” he says. “Yeah. No, it’s going great. Professor Kleio said she’d write me a recommendation. She was really impressed with the last build. Yeah.” She runs her fingers through her wet hair, pushing it back from her face. “No, the conference is next month. Probably. Pretty sure I can get Tyson to help, but I don’t think it’ll get that far before the end of the week. Uh huh.”

Paris had taken off his suit jacket at some point; she can see it hung up in the closet on a hanger, perfectly pressed. He’s still in his shirt, but he’s unbuttoned it, the sleeves rolled up around his forearms. It is effortlessly attractive, even from the back. She coughs lightly, unwilling to startle him, and he turns, giving her another up-and-down, this one decidedly less respectful than the first.

“Hey, I gotta go, I’ll call you tomorrow. Say hi to Estelle for me. Love you.” And he hangs up.

“Your girlfriend?” she asks.

He smiles, all soft. “My mom.”

Something in her melts at his tone. “Aw,” she coos. “Is she back in America?”

“Yeah. I don’t get to see her all that often, so I try to call her every day.”

It is so unfathomably sweet, sweet and… humanizing, as weird as that sounds. He’s not just an unbelievably handsome man with a jaw cut like a diamond and a five-star rating, according to Piper, he’s a person with a whole other life that she knows nothing about. It’s liberating, in its own way. She can make mistakes with him, and he’ll understand. He won’t judge her, not against his other clients, or even his other partners.

Swallowing, she slides the robe off her shoulders, slowly, achingly. Maybe he turned the heat up while she wasn’t looking, because all of a sudden, she feels hot all over, from her cheeks to her chest and down, and down. Maybe it’s all coming from him, from the heat of his gaze on her, his pink tongue coming out to wet his lips. She wants it, wants them, wants him, on her and in her and all over her.

But he stays on his side of the room, waiting for her to take the plunge.

She steps up to him, close but not touching, breathing in the heady, strong scent of him, raking her eyes up his body for a change. Even through his shirt, she can tell he’s fit, the exposed skin of his arms tanned a deep brown, thick, coarse, dark hair running up to his wrists. On his right arm, there is a black trident long and straight, crossed by an old, white scar. “What happened here?” she asks, lifting her hand to trace it, leaving visible goosebumps in its wake.

“Sailing accident,” he whispers. “Long time ago.”

There’d been a kid at her summer camp for troubled teens who’d gotten thrown off his boat and hurt like that, once. She remembered so vividly, because she’d been on infirmary duty that day, and all she could think about while wrapping up his arm was how fucking stupid he'd been, how he could have gotten himself really hurt, how badly she’d wanted to kiss him.

She'd moved across the country before she'd gotten the chance, though, and no one else had ever made her feel like that since. Until now. “Got any other ink to show me?”

But instead of answering, he leans down, and he kisses her.

She’s been kissed before. She’s never had sex, but she’s done some kissing in her life. It’s usually pretty awkward, in her experience, too much of one thing and never enough of another.

Nope, not Paris. Of course, he’s also a phenomenal kisser. Why she expected anything else, she’s not sure.

His hands come up to circle her neck again, his thumbs running against her cheekbones. He kisses her, pouring passion and intent into her, his mouth soft and sweet against hers. And then he slips her some tongue, and it’s a whole different ballgame.

“Take off your shirt,” she whispers into his mouth.

He does, effortlessly, without detaching himself from her. It’s a smooth, easy motion, and she is delighted to discover that he is as firm as she suspected he was, the muscles jumping under her touch.

Almost without her realizing it, he backs her up towards the bed, her knees hitting the edge of the mattress. He lays her out against the sheets, his bare chest hot against hers. “Before we go any further,” he says, and she can feel the vibrations of his voice all throughout her body, “tell me—have you ever made yourself come?”

She flushes at his words, the dirty talk which should sound stupid but instead comes out all sultry and sexy. “Yes,” she says, breath hitching as he nips at her neck. “Yes, I have.”

“Good.” He smiles into the skin of her collarbone, traveling down, and down, and down. “I want you to show me how.”

“Isn’t that,” she pants, “your job?”

“Hmm, you’re right.” He pushes her thighs apart with his shoulders, bright eyes staring up at her as he licks his lips. “Let me get to work, then.”

Breathing heavily, she curls her fingers into the ten thousand count sheets, eyes fixed on the ceiling pattern. She can’t look at the dark head between her legs, can only breathe in through her nose as he kisses up the skin of her thigh, higher and higher and higher until…

Jesus fucking lord almighty.

***

“I found the perfect guy for you.”

“Piper, come on.” Theses brunch dates of theirs were starting to get a little repetitive. “I let you set me up with a professional, but I draw the line at a blind date.”

“Have I steered you wrong yet, your highness?” Piper asks, knowing grin firmly on her face.

Annabeth blushes. So what if that night with Paris was the most incredible experience she’d ever had? Doesn’t mean she’s ready for a full-on relationship, yet. “No,” she says, rubbing her temples.

“Great!” Then she does something that Annabeth doesn’t expect—she starts packing up. “So he’ll be here in a few minutes.”

“What?”

“Yeah,” she smiles, so bright it borders on painful, her nose scrunching up. “I invited him to brunch. But he’s really, really nice, I promise.”

“Does he know about—”

“No, he doesn’t, but if you wanted to spill, he’s a fantastic secret keeper.”

“How do you even know—”

Piper glances over Annabeth’s shoulder, eyes lighting up, waving a hand. “Friend of a friend of Jason, he’s a grad student at Cambridge, he’s doing his dissertation on naval history, so you know the king will love him.”

“Piper!” Annabeth half-calls, half-hisses at her friend as she stands up “Piper, you can’t just—”

“Hey,” says a voice behind her. A very familiar voice. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize anyone was joining us.” She turns around. Slowly. “Nice to meet you, I’m… Percy…” he trails off, sea green eyes widening behind a pair of thick, black glasses, beneath dark, curly hair. On his arm, a black trident stood out against his skin, straight and proud.

“Percy, meet Annabeth,” Piper says. “Annabeth, meet Percy. Okay, have fun you two!”

And she waltzes out of there, completely unaware of the absolute shitstorm she left in her wake.