#I am trying to process bad feelings
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Having a rough night, so here's a rough sketch of snowbaz on a rough day at Watford.
I rarely post stuff this raw. If ever. But fuck it. I have to do something with these feelings. Might as well do art. No model, no references, no beta; we die like the mage.
#snowbaz#sketchy sketch#simon snow#carry on fanart#simon snow fanart#super rough sketch#angst#I am trying to process bad feelings#sorry boys#baz pitch#carry on#Watford era#Let's all be fucked up together#Yeah I'm going to bed now#Jodarta
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Odysseus: demanding Athena take off whatever enchantment she put on him the second the situation ends.
Odysseus: who constantly reminds Athena that he has great plans to grow old and die with his wife so don't even think about getting any ideas.
Odysseus: side eye diomedes who has started fucking glowing he has so many enchantments on him: bro you should talk to Athena about getting those removed. You're going to end up immortal or some shit
Diomedes: who has been a solider since he was 5 who has intersting thoughts about his own personhood who has a much more traditional relationship with Athena and would rather literally stab his own eye out with a rusted sword than speak out of turn: I don't know what you're talking about
#odysseus#Diomedes#Athena#This is more pulling from my own headcanons than any source material#But I have a lot of feelings about the narritive physically changing a character and how well that works with the idea that#Becoming immortal is a slow process more of a slide than an abrupt change#And I have a lot of feelings about diomedes becoming immortal and how odysseus only ever wanted to be a man#And how diomedes was having a much more mortal experience and odysseus experiencing so much magic and monsters and gods#And how every step of the way diomedes only ever politely thanks Athena never argues only does his duty#And how nearly everything odysseus met tried to change him or keep him and how he fought against that with his whole being#Also a lot of feelings about the traditional reward for heros was immortality#This obviously does not include all the times Athena treated odysseus like a barbie doll because ody was 98% not aware of that#Athena post the whole ajax going insane thing: that was fun#Odysseus: great yah super fucking fun love when my allies go mad with desires to torture me to death BTW#Take off the invisibility spell I want nobody trace of it lingering on me I am remaining mortal if it kills me#Athena: definitely not pouting you're no fun one little spell isn't going to permanently alter you#Odysseus: I am not taking any chances any invisibility I have is going to be my own fucking skill and your excellent training not magic#Diomedes: internally:after getting the ability to see through illusions and see gods#Should I mention this to Pallas Athena? Did she mean for me to keep it? Is it bad if I keep using it?#Is it even more disrespectful to not use it? Surely she is aware that I still have this? Surely it would be an insult to her intelligence#To remind her that would be casting doubt on her memory and perhaps it is part of a plan and#Who am I to question pallas athenas plans who am I but her devout weapon better to not mention it or any of the other lingering magics#Diomedes realizing a hundred years after the fact that he is in fact immortal: ....should I mention this?#Athena finds it funny to try to sneak magic onto odysseus it's a game for them because their both rat bastards#But not post odyssey it's just triggering then#Actual child solider diomedes#Greek myths
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girlbossing too close to the sun.
#art#ive literally just been treating this game as a library simuator#i walk from bookseller to bookseller opening up all of their books#vivecs sermons are either a highlight or the point at which i stop reading#ive been trying to convince the ordinators that imitation is the highest form of flattery but it hasnt been working#let me wear your helmets please theyre so funny..#posting morrowind in 2024 isnt a cry for help but youre not wrong to be concerned.#morrowind#almalexia#vivec#im going to explain the chitin armor give me a moment#so the bonewalker nerevar on the shrines is adorable and it was only after drawing it however many times that i realized#it looked relatively close to a modified chitin armor#and so i modified chitin armor a few times and this was probably the cutest result#i also know i drew almalexia relatively pristine and untouched by years and vivec not so much but my thought process was#vivecs role as if not a favorite then the most accessible divine or the most “hands on” in a manner of speaking#acting in ways visible to the general population or actions explicitly brought to their attention#like not that almalexia isnt doing anything she is#but the dissemination of information regarding that is very different etc etc etc#anyways to a certain extent a god is the face on a shrine or in art or upon a statue or carving#but vivecs presence is interwoven with the geography of vvardenfell especially and his actions and writings with pubished materials#and the arts and culture and customs etc etc etc#so to me the face of a god you know and feel a commonality with or a god that walks alongside you is a face you would recognize#and vivec is already otherworldly looking enough#the simple mark of the years on his skin in some way grounding him in reality felt more right#that and i think the ways in which he and almalexia care about outward appearance are slightly different- they prioritize different things#and the ways they present outward power and their embodiment of their respective attributes share some similarities as they both have that#important preoccupation with physical power and physical strength to a certain degree#oh my god nobody read this i am yapping so bad.#tes
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scrappies cause HE'S BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 📖
#witch hat tag#orufrey#witch hat atelier spoilers#AAAAHHHHFRUHFREJGKLGGL;GFF..... tired i will make better Celebratory I Survived The Qifreylessness of 2023-24 art later#so many chapters end with some horrific threat/mystery that will not be cleared up yet or possibly not for like a YEAR. lol *accepts it*#i still haven't processed the chapter yet ive been trying to calm down. and kitchen 5 should finally arrive. YIPPEE!! life isn't SO bad....#i think i will pour some of my feelings and contemplations about loneliness into an original comic. i keep meaning to. for me. i guess#i am very VERY grateful that i get to be safe inside a house and read my silly beautiful little manga. even if my brain is breaking down
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Moon 5 - Part 3
Longpaw asks Synthsong what he thinks about Starclan.
Start / Back / Next
#gutterclan#gutterclan moon#clangen#warriors#warrior cats#synthsong#longpaw#gutterclan: nine lives#i think. this page has some of my favourite work & like. visual ideas from the comic so far#and also is maybe the one im most frustrated with?#because i think the good elements dont quite come together into a good or cohesive whole. (& also synth is super inconsistent lol.)#which is a little frustrating. but overall i think im proud of it.its a learning process lol.#& also really to me... reveals the gaps in my comic making skills that i still have to overcome. this stuff is hard!#i was talking to a buddy the other day about this like. i am really really REALLY enjoying the process of making this project#but i just don't think it's... good. which is like- not me trying to be down on myself. its just like. not up to my standards for myself lo#like. i genuinely think it's kind of bad. overall. but i've literally never made a comic before & i feel like im learning a LOT#like i dont even really DRAW. or didnt before this. there's a LOT of stuff i'm figuring out as i go#and im having fun with it. so! i'll get to that point i can be happy with it i think. its just a learning process.#this is not me asking for reassurance like. idk i dont FEEL bad that i think its bad?#im enjoying this comic & im enjoying meeting all of the people i've been meeting in the community! (hi clangen creators discord!)#so! net very very positive.#just yapping
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#I do not want to hustle and some of my most beloved people do not understand this#I was talking to my honorary big sister on the phone today about why I'm taking a gap year#the main reason is that the final semester of the program I was accepted into is around 50 hours per week of unpaid field work#which means you aren't allowed to have a job during that semester. this information was not presented until after the application process#anyway she was like “well that's fairly normal for healthcare professions” which is true#however this is a community college program and I would have expected them to account for people needing to work throughout college#anyway I responded “yeah true but I'm considering that maybe healthcare isn't for me then. I don't want a job that requires that much work.#And I don't! I don't want 50 or 60 hour work weeks! I want to work 40 hours and then leave and live my life!#but she made it seem like any job that requires a college degree is going to require that. And I don't think that's true#but also she is older than I am and has much more job experience so idk.#maybe she's advising based on the fact that as a teenager I was super type A and ambitious and really wanted a career?#whereas in the past couple years...idk I just want a reliable job that I don't hate that pays the bills and leaves time for enjoying life#so. I'm not sure#And now I kind of feel bad for not having that ambition anymore/ not wanting to have to give myself ulcers to get through school#But college is not worth my sanity and I found that out the hard way.#And I also feel bad for not being one of those people who CAN handle that much workload! Like I can certainly learn#to do more than I'm doing currently#but I will never be one of those constantly busy and insanely productive people. And I don't even want to be anymore#and yet that feels like an error.#I am not lazy! I used to think I was but no. I enjoy getting work done and doing personal projects and going to work and improving things.#It's not even as though I don't have things I want to do with my life. I have a lot of short term and long term goals!#I want to contribute to my community and support my family however I can and make art and tell stories and be a safe place for people!#and so much else!#but those ambitions aren't necessarily directly connected to school or a job for me anymore#and I value rest and having a social life too much to completely put my health on hold for years and years#sure college does take up a lot of time and energy but it shouldn't wholly consume your life as far as I can see.#and now I feel very unsure if that approach is realistic.#thinking I should talk with her again and try to explain myself a little better and ask what she meant.#diary
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i dont think i have the right to ask this, since i so rarely have the energy to reply, but .. i want my drive to draw art back and this awful depression gone (or at least made less bad..) so desperately that i will bear the shame of asking it anyway, just in the hopes of something getting that spark i had held onto for so long to light back up
though .. im not sure what i want to ask for, i guess .. anything? something you'd like to see me draw, a compliment, a question- whether zelda or oc related, a little totk rant of your own, a picture of your cat, a random fun fact-
#ganondoodles talks#i feel guilty just writing this#i feel like i do so little and ask for so much#too much#and the good ol 'you dont have the right to feel this miserable- theres people literally dying' is back ever so strong#i have barely been looking at anything online#idk why its gotten this bad now of all times#of course this is nothing you are requuired to do#i am not trying to put pressure on anyone#or make anyone feel bad#or responsible for me bad feeling#i just ... want out of this .... and dont seem to be able to do it myself#i am hoping all i need is just a little push to get me over the edge of fighting back again#i know therapy and/or meds would probably be better#but the former is basically impossible to get here- and i got bad experiences with it#and the latter would be a long process of things that cause me so much stress and im afraid it wont make anythign better#.............if our doctor would even be willing to get anything going#maybe this is all just headache sleep depreived wahteever thought sludge#.. im going to bed :U
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Can you make a tutorial on how you world build and make ocs? I can't seem to make any people in my brain, but then when I try to come up with environments jobs, beliefs and little details to slowly come up with someone, I think: well I don't really know how people have influenced the world- it's a weird loop
To be honest, I don't think I can! Writing is an extremely personal process. The way I write is directly related to how I process things, what I find important in stories, years of my own analysis of my and other's writing, etc... The way you write will be unique to you, as well. But I can explain how I personally think of it.
The short answer:
Write. Write anything and everything, it's a tool to explore your ideas. Analyze your own writing, and write more. Then, as you discover which ideas you want to develop, write more to explore them more. You won't know what you want otherwise!
The long answer:
I think this kind of loop is common. It's easy to feel like everything needs to be done "at once," because our job as writers is to make elements logically fit with each other for our readers. But as you've discovered, developing multiple elements simultaneously isn't really possible, or at least is extremely difficult.
Personally, when I think of writing, I break it into three major elements; characters, world, and plot. As much as possible every scene explores one or more of these, and as much as possible these three things tie back into what I personally consider most important: theme.
Everything I do is in service of the themes I want to present. Without them my events feel aimless. It can take a while to discover them, but they're the core of my work. You will have to discover what you feel is the core of yours. Analyzing other media helps with this too.
Concepts in your brain exist in a state of infinite potential. But when you start writing you have to start making choices, which removes potential as you move forward... But you have to move forward anyways. If there's ideas you want to explore later, you can always explore them later.
What this ends up meaning, to answer your question, is that I don't think of my characters as "people in my brain" or my worlds as something people have influenced... Not at their core, at least. They are tools that I use to represent specific ideas. Obviously they're also my blorbos, but mostly they're serving a specific narrative purpose.
So above all else... Write. Write, and discover what you're writing about, and then start over and write with that in mind. Keep doing this. But you have to write!
#I wish there were a cleaner answer to this kind of thing#and I also wish that there were a way to answer that didnt feel like 'just do it lol'#but... genuinely you kind of just have to do it!#I find it helps to reframe writing as trying to figure out which ideas I don't like#then if I write anything that feels bad to me#it's not about being a bad writer or anything like that. it's just something I dont want in my story and I delete it.#like if you find yourself naturally coming up with worldbuilding elements. its okay to just start there!#you can start like 'I really want giant mushrooms' and then start thinking about how cool that would be#and like oooh what if there were really cool caves full of mushrooms and all glowy yeaaah#then you start building people from that. colonies of fungal people or something. this is still worldbuilding#then you might think now. whats a plot that could go with this and show off my cool mushrooms.#maybe the mushrooms are all connected and the main one is dying and no one knows why. it's a classic plot.#if you still dont feel like you can find a character in that. keep going! why is it dying? how can it be saved? can it? if not then why?#etc etc etc. when I am writing I actually ltierally write out 101 questions like this as I'm going and then I answer them#and if I cant answer them. then I figure out a different situation that doesnt bring that question up LMFAO#eventually you can decide you want a hero who idfk will replace the big mushroom or something. a sacrifice and immortality simultaneously#then you can be like yeah so my themes are probably about sacrifice. connection to others. love for your community. stuff like that#and then you can go back to your world and say. yeah I think that people should have telepathic communication on some level!#I'm just making all this up right now but I just want to illustrate somehow how this kind of cyclical process can actually be a tool#because it's not about getting it all right at once. its about leaning into the cycle and how it guides you through developing these#anyways idk if this makes any sense. if this doesnt feel like it works for you then it probably literally doesnt#but writing more and analyzing writing more is ALWAYS good#it will never make your writing worse to do those things.#unfortunately (said with all the love in the world) writing is an endless process of learning more about who you are and what you care abou#its wonderful but it's hard and theres no way to skip that process#good luck!#asks#anon#writing stuff#oh also if at any point you go hm. that big thing isnt working for me I think...
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That episode wouldve been perfect if the pacing was a liiiitle bit slower
#look i liked it i loved it i think there was a lot of dear work put in it it was genuinely a very cool episode and all#BUT i cant get it outta my head since j watched it that it was so QUICK#i know they had to fit it all in 20 minutes or so#but it was SO rushed to me#the first part was okay#and then we move to court and it was a biit fast and i have not processed what happening yet#we dwell a bit on the court thing so by now my emotions have properly landed#although i still wish it was a little longer#and then BAM blitz being executed that part is pretty cool#but the part where he sacrifices himself also let me wishing for a longer time#although i they probably did the best on that one#and then stolas arrives and starts singing out of the blue#which okay fair thats the point he jumps to singing#but i really wish they took a bit longer on A. him stopping the axe and B. he taking in all of the situation and trying to clear things up#and THEN starting his song#the song was *also* a bit quick to me and the transitions from one layer to the other felt a bit rushed#but who am i to tell the music professionals how to music#i mean i as the audience kind of can. but i feel like its not rlly that bad or anything its just that the WHOLE episode passed in a blink#didnt give time for my emotions to keep up with everything#helluva boss#helluva boss spoilers#helluva boss s2#helluva boss mastermind#mastermind#hb spoilers
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Officially 23 ig
#idk how I feel about it#it’s officially been a decade since I got out of the weird culty homeschool farm#and thus about a decade since I started to realize and process all the fucked up shit that happened to me#so. hm.#also six years since hs so that’s also. hm.#many years since many bad things#but also I feel like I’m not doing much better and haven’t actually gone anywhere or have found good people I’m happy with#but I’m not dead so that’s something?#and I am gonna try and do things to be better this year so#idk#feel weird and still kinda low key really upset#that my last birthday I felt so happy and content cuz I was with my ex and ex best friend#and now neither of them are in my life anymore…….#ugh#kaz rambles
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On one hand, I agree that there should be a more diverse field of subject matter utilized in "adult animation". Not all "adult animation" should be used as an excuse to revolve around shock content and gratuitous potty humor. At this point in time, stuff like this being seen on prime-time television is no longer out of the ordinary. And, from my observation, is done well even less frequently. There should be more films that treat themselves seriously and explore an array of topics rather than just comedy with a middle-school idea of mature subject matter.
ON THE OTHER HAND. I don't think there is ANYTHING wrong with animated movies and shows with lots of drugs and boobies and sex and gross jokes. I think cartoon characters having freaky sex is funny af. Both have the right to exist together. Art should not be pigeon-holed through a lens of "respectability" in order to be taken seriously. Demanding adult animation be "palatable" for an "adult" audience ultimately strips it completely of what makes it a unique medium for expression in the first place.
#way too often I see people going on one end or the other on this#when what is the problem with both existing?#I admit that I PERSONALLY am not big on gross-out humor and when I do find it funny it is at its most mild#but that doesn't mean I don't think it should exist at all#I have grown kind of annoyed with people's insistence that the reason they don't like current adult programs is it feels too immature#which...I do get some things aren't everyone's cup of tea and it is fine but I think the problem is less 'adult animation inherently bad'#and more that studios don't make the effort to support a more diverse amount of stories#I think the limitations offered in 'children's animation' is commendable because it is true that serious subjects can be approached#more creatively through those mediums because of it#but I think that often creates the false pretense for some people that these shows are 'peak' when it comes to addressing their topics#when no...they still have limitations by being a family rated program they are just trying their best to talk about it within those limits#which can cause people like atla fans going ham about some concepts as depicted when they forget it is a family program#this isn't me talking down family content I just think it is important to acknowledge that distinction in its writing process#anywayyyyy this got long lol#squack
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Hii! I have been recently getting more and more obsessed with your art and webcomic and was wondering if I could use your art as like a profile picture? (With credit!!) If not that's perfectly fine! :)
yeah you can use my art for whatever as long as you're not stealing it or selling it
I don't mind if people print my art out for themselves either. I do sell prints, but it doesn't bother me either way
In general I don't post anything that I haven't made my peace with all that comes with sharing my art publicly! So feel free to use it as you please pretty much.
Giving me credit for the things I've made is respectful and helps me in my career, and I would hope that most people intend to respect my work... And the people who don't respect my work were never going to whether I asked or not.
I make my work for other people to enjoy it, I want you to enjoy it!
#I sort of have a general thought process that like.#the main thing of my work is... my comics!#and thats my writing and my drawing and its these huge longform things#that to be quite honest. would be a ton of work to steal LMFAO#but theyre more intrinsically connected to me#knowing the name of the comics and the characters#looking for more. it's me. like it's always gonna come back to me...#But I also in general as a person... I sort of hate the concept of copyright#it plays at the idea of benefitting artists but the intent is to benefit corporations#and artists get screwed out of owning their OWN WORK for the benefit of said corporations...#The things that copyright are meant to protect are things that wouldnt matter if we werent living in CAPITALISM!!!#I wouldnt CARE if someone stole my stuff if I didnt have to worry about potential lost customers#so. I just try to lead my life and my art in ways that reflect my ideals#which is like... yeah go ahead. use it for whatever#I expect you to respect me and if you don't then I know it doesnt matter what I ask for. because it wasnt going to be respected anyways.#if you feel bad taking my stuff or printing it out yourself or whatever you can throw a couple bucks my way#helps me pay the bills lmao#but if you don't its fine. I'll be okay and it won't ruin me.#asks#anon#this isnot me saying yeah go ahead and steal my art LMAO#this is just like yeah as long as you arent saying or implying you made my work#or selling it when I am selling that same thing (stealing my money from me)#then. like. whatever#doesnt affect me negatively at all. I made my art for other people to enjoy it#I want you to enjoy it!
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please say more about jilypad + diverging parenting styles... perhaps even a possible scenario >:) i imagine harry has very cunning tactics for using this to his advantage
helloooooo <3 thank u for this ask bc i love talking about these three and harry. i went looking thru the archives to find this post; my first foray into this side, and really, i’ve never looked back after that.
so i’ve talked ab this a bit before but i fully think that james was a very overprotective ‘mother hen’ type parent. i tend to read his behaviour in lily’s bday letter to sirius as being scared of his child on a broomstick and i fully, fully think he’ll never be able to let go of that as harry grows up. he’ll be anxious and suspicious and paranoid, and his first instant will always be to wrap harry up in cotton wool and hide him away. (i low-key connect this to his childhood as well; going from being spoiled and sheltered to dropped in the middle of a war, black & white thinking, living in extremes etc etc makes it v hard for him to be Normal about his child. as he shouldn’t be, really, but yeah) that’s why he thrives during the initial years; he never minds the hard parts of being a new parent, loves it in fact, and it makes it better that he can keep harry close to him at all times w/o coming off as a helicopter parent (not that the notion bothers him ofc).
it’s good, then, that he has two partners to even the scales, no? i think lily was the most…balanced out of the three. she had a relatively normal childhood, grew up in a working class family/neighbourhood and had to deal w adversity from a young age so she’s developed a nice, thick skin. she also has a sibling with whom she has a v rocky relationship so she knows that kids are, ykno, a bit unhinged. and a little bit of hardship is not a problem. i hc her as needing time to get used to parenthood, unlike james who stepped into it natural as breathing, or even sirius who loved harry on much on first sight that it made up for everything else. ofc lily loved her son, but it didn’t come w the same blinding intensity of her partners and made her feel really shitty in the beginning. but, i think she’d shine during his teen years actually, because she’s not overbearing or intense and becomes the quiet, calm strength that a hormonal, spotty teen boy would probably need.
and sirius <3 our poor baby falls in love with harry, perhaps even more quickly than james, with such startling speed that it shakes his entire foundation. he doesn’t regret it but he’s constantly discombobulated. i also imagine that…it takes him longer to settle into the role of parent, esp bc he’s not biologically one ykno? not like it matters to anyone, ofc, but it takes him a long time to truly accept his authority and place, to believe that he has just as much right as j&l to be there, to parent harry. this has the consequence of him always being more indulgent than the other two; after all, he considered himself a godfather before a parent and a lot of that thinking stayed. he lets harry get away with stuff the others might not (and the little mf figures this out later); some of it also comes from sirius seeing so much shit, and facing so much shit himself, that he rationalises a lot of stuff as ‘well, this isn’t the worst it can be, so what’s the harm’ (because his life has been such a roller coaster that he’s forgotten that not everyone’s like that, if that makes sense?)
its obviously not this clear cut but i imagine harry looks at it like this: if he needs unconditional love, he goes to james; rationality and logic, lily; acceptance and calm, sirius. when someone has to be beat up for hurting harry, james steps in. if he needs help burying a body, it’s sirius. dealing with some asshole boss/teacher/classmate’s mother who’s making harry’s life hell? lily. i can keep going but,,,u get the idea, right? this makes sense, i hope lol
i actually think harry’s first birthday is a great example. sirius pushes the boundaries by gifting lil harry a broom; james loses his mind running after him; lily places an industrial sticking charm on harry’s butt, leans back with a glass of wine, and enjoys the show. even as he grows up, lily and james act as the disciplinarian, and sirius is the emotional outlet. all of them fill in each other’s cracks so well, and it’s only when harry grows up that he realises how effortlessly they worked off each other to parent him.
also oh man o man. harry being cunning is,,,,,see, i’ve not considered it this far but it makes perfect sense. i think canon harry actually had so much manipulative energy and it’s often overlooked for his goofier traits but! this is the same dude who used his dead parents to trick slughorn into revealing sensitive info! imagine if that could be channelled into his jilypad interactions 😈
it’s like, it takes him a bit, because his three parents r so smooth, but once he realises that all of them have certain weak spots, he does NOT hesitate to exploit them. (it has the unintended consequence of truly strengthening the jilypad relationship into an unbreakable one bc one thing their kid taught them is to have ironclad communication going at all times so nothing they’ve said, or not said, is used against them). so like, he knows if he wants to sneak out to a party, it has to be sirius and in a specific way—‘i’ll be totally safe, papa, plus i really wanna see what it’s like and idk when it’ll get a chance to again’. if he widens his eyes to pitiful levels, pouts a little, and blinks faster than usual, then james is putty in his arms as long as he’s separated from the other two. divide and conquer becomes the main tool in harry’s arsenal, actually. lily’s the toughest nut to crack, purely bc she doesn’t run on emotions or irreverence, but harry soon learns that if he comes up with a solid, logical case that proves his argument has unbiased merit then he has a good chance of getting her to say yes. (this is good, bc u can arrange words in the correct order, but u can’t always control emotions)
so overall yeah, you’d think one kid + 3 parents would be an easy bet, but harry keeps them on their toes all the fkn time.
#sirius black#james potter#lily evans#jilypad#harry potter#i knew before i even started this that it would be ridiculously long lmao#i just cannot bring myself to shut up#wrt lily and harry’s baby years#i feel v v strongly ab motherhood not coming naturally to her#and becoming a very sore point for her. bc she sees james and sirius and she keeps blaming herself for being an unfeeling robot#when she’s not. she just thinks more logically than them and doesn’t feel as strongly. that doesn’t make her a bad mother#and no matter what j & s say a small part of always thinks like that. until the teen years. and suddenly the dynamics r reversed#bruh i think i need help it’s not even funny how not hinged i am for this trio lmao#there also! padfoot!#a while ago i wrote a lil thing. but i fully believe that whenever harry was emotionally distraught he’d actually go to padfoot#bc he needed someone to just. sit. and be there. while he’s processed emotions#and lily would be too ruthlessly logical and james would be fretting and trying to fix it and sirius would panic. just a little.#but padfoot is a warm comforting weight agains this side and he just lets him be. it’s grounding.#so harry always. without fail. does that#it’s actually 3.5 parents lmao#i do wonder what their parenting fights would about if any. hmmmm. my glasses are too rose tinted for me to consider it#a thought for another day#anyway. hope this endless rambling made sense! and that u liked it!#would love to hear ur thoughts too <3#pen’s notes#pen’s asks
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#strongly considering taking a gap year off school.#I discovered during orientation that my program is waaaay more intense than they let on during the application process#for instance unpaid fieldwork during the final semester or two that literally does not allow you to work even part time#I cannot afford this. I am trying to move out while making minimum wage and paying for school.#so taking a step back from courses to reevaluate and work and save seems like the correct move#but I haven't quite hit send on that email yet so prayers appreciated#I've been thinking about this all week and praying. don't want to rush into a bad decision but I really don't see what else to do#also please pray for a good living situation#I am possibly looking at a room in a house later this week#really need to move out ASAP and so I can't afford to be picky at all#but again I don't want to rush into a bad situation#so yeah lots of prayers appreciated!#feeling very low about all these circumstances at the moment but also trying to remember that this might end up being better than the plan#I had originally#maybe it'll be exciting to move out before I feel ready! but right now it's just scary.#college chronicles#diary
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I love the way you write and FFS is my favourite fic of yours. It was very healing and comforting watching a character go through such a difficult mental health journey. It made me feel less alone. Ef has motivated me to keep going on because things can always get better.
I just wanted to say thank you very much, and I hope you rest as much as you can while you're on break. (P.S. I am super excited for Constellations!! When you mentioned Leo in the last chapter I was like YES! They're still friends!)
Hi anon
I'm so glad you enjoy Falling Falling Stars, it was such a huge undertaking but it was so cathartic even writing it and sharing it at the time, I think it's been pretty humbling honestly that so many folks have brought so much of themselves and their lives to this story, and connect with it and the characters in it.
Efnisien is pretty awesome as a character as a vehicle of 'it sucks and you might even have done bad things but you're still allowed to have good things and you can always improve / better yourself' etc. I used to get a few 'I've never done anything like Efnisien but I relate to him' and my thoughts on that have always been that many of us know what it's like to feel like the worst, even if we've relatively never done anything that bad at all. And it's hard to recover from that feeling, but...perhaps seeing how someone who has been literally the worst is doing it might help.
We all deserve a redemption narrative, even the people who didn't need redeeming in the first place.
#asks and answers#falling falling stars#efnisien ap wledig#i mean to be fair many of us have done bad things without knowing#or without realising how bad they were at the time#and then have to process and deal with that later#i feel like i'm a criminal if i just get angry at someone and it's not deserved so#dsalkfjdsa#i am trying to rest!#toby is being neutered/desexed tomorrow so i actually expect the next 10 days to be quite stressful#and in some ways i'm very glad i *don't* have to write today or tomorrow etc.#i'm still not recovered from my burnout yet so i'm just like#chin-handing and thinking about the future and writing a lot
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Short explanation: working on a story draft and decided to crowd-source this detail:
Overly long explanation:
Instead of spending much time on any older writing projects this summer (oops), I ended up hashing out a totally new idea for a mystery (series) set at a summer camp. Kind of embracing the inevitable. (If you don't know, I work at a camp/retreat center full time.) Within the story timeline, it works well for COVID not to be a major plot point: the main characters (camp directors) were probably doing work around the inherited future summer camp property in 2020 (so, easy to social distance), and then opened as a (very small) summer camp for the first time in summer 2021. The book is set a couple years past that. I'm just curious whether people would be more thrown by a mention of past COVID protocols, or more thrown to have it ignored entirely!
#the results of this poll are obviously not binding on my writing process#but I was wondering#p.s. feel free to ask questions abt the story.#i am bad at sticking to one project but i'm going to try to get an actual full draft of this done b4 i'm distracted by other things#my writing
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