#I am that cat. and you know what?? i CAN has cheeseburger.

[insignificantstrawberry]

cheeseburgers are my favourite food and I legit forget that about myself until I have a cheeseburger again and in those moments I truly become born again like it’s spiritual

[heavenlyhoundoom]

Sun and Moon show incorrect quotes.

1.Eclipse: I’m totally useless. Moon: You’re not totally useless. Moon: You can be used as a bad example.

2.Ruin: Don't have a bookmark? Try ketchup instead!! Bloodmoon: What makes you think I read?

3.Lunar: I am very small and I have no money, so you can imagine the kind of stress that I'm under.

4.Ruin: Watcha doin? Bloodmoon: Stealing my neighbour’s cat. Ruin: Scandalous. Ruin: Can I help?

5.Bloodmoon: Who wants to make fifty bucks? Eclipse: How? Bloodmoon: I need someone to take the fall. Eclipse: What did you do? Bloodmoon: I can't tell you. Yes or no, no questions asked. Sun, from the other room: Oh my god. Bloodmoon: … Sun: OH MY GOD! Eclipse: Make it a hundred. Bloodmoon: Deal.

6.Earth: Do you know a turtles only weakness? Moon: No… well, their slowness. Earth: Their weaknesss is they can't roll over when they are on their backs. Earth: Now I have a plan. Earth: If I duct tape two turtles together, they'll be unstoppable.

7.Bloodmoon: You're a lying piece of shit! Eclipse: Oh yeah? You're the idiot that thinks you can get away with everything you do, WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD! Earth: I'm leaving and I'm taking Lunar with me! Sun, gathering cards: Aaaaand that's enough Monopoly for today.

8.Ruin: I wanna sleep for 40 hours. Eclipse: You know that's called a coma, right? Ruin: Ruin: That sounds so refreshing, I could totally go for a light coma right now.

9.Eclipse: When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Eclipse lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the person who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!

10.Moon: So, Bloodmoon and Ruin. Moon: According to this, you two are being accused of: Armed Robbery, Vandalism, Drug Abuse, Grand Theft Auto… Bloodmoon: We had a bad day. Moon: And… MURDER?! Ruin: It was a pretty bad day…

11.after the Squad has been separated for a few years Eclipse: So what have you been up to recently? Lunar: Leading a revolution with Earth. Eclipse: Good for you two! Me, I've joined the mob. Lunar: nods Oh, how cool! That's awesome! Eclipse: I know! Anyway, have you heard from the others? Ruin? Lunar: Happily living as a hermit in the woods. Moon? Eclipse: Wrongfully locked up in an asylum, which reminds me, we need to break him out later. Bloodmoon? Lunar: Cult leader. Eclipse: Yeah, that sounds about right.

12.The Squad is playing Chess Ruin: easily beats everyone because they know how to play Bloodmoon: doesn’t know the rules, but wins anyway Lunar: doesn’t know the rules, and loses Moon: knows the rules, but still loses to those who don’t Eclipse: Actually, you can’t do that, because I said so. Earth: They named a board game after cheese?

13.Eclispe: It’s illegal to look better than me. Bloodmoon: I guess we’re all going to jail then.

14.Ruin: When I get Doordash I order 20 Cheeseburgers at a time and heat them up throughout the week so that I don’t have to pay the delivery fee multiple times. Moon: I hope you understand how food poisoning works. Ruin: I hope food poisoning understands how I work. I never met a burger i couldn’t eat.

15.Eclipse: I’m telling you, my team is competent. Ruin, rushing in: Eclipse! Bloodmoon tried to make pasta in the coffee pot and now it's broken!

16.Ruin: I’ve only ever said ‘I love you’ to two people in my entire life: Bloodmoon and a guy in a dark club who I mistook for Bloodmoon.

17.Bloodmoon, after sneaking into Lunar’s bedroom: Hey, wake up! Lunar, half awake: Huh!? Bloodmoon: I just murdered your entire family! Lunar: …But I live alone. Bloodmoon: Huh? Then who are these people in your house??? Lunar: There’s people in my house? Bloodmoon: Well not anymore! Dumb bitch! You could’ve died! You’re welcome!

18.Sun: I want to be like a caterpillar. Lunar: Explain. Sun: Eat a lot, sleep for a while, wake up beautiful. Earth: You know they have a lifespan of a week, right? Sun: Sun: That's just another highlight!

19.Eclipse: I need some help with my homework, Earth. Earth: What’s the assignment? Eclipse: I’m supposed to write a paper that presents both sides of an issue and then defends one of the arguments. Earth: What’s your issue? Eclipse: That’s the problem. I can’t think of anything to argue. Earth: That’s hard to believe. Eclipse: I’m always right and everybody else is always wrong! What’s to argue about?!

20.Bloodmoon: Who else is hiding in the laundry room trying to listen to Eclipse and Lunar's convo? Moon: Me. I'm in the laundry basket. Earth: I'm in the washing machine. Sun: I'm in the closet. Moon: We accept you Sun. <3 Sun: No I'm literally in the closet. Moon: Love is love. <3

[dont-f-with-moogles]

Attack on Titan AU Valentine's Day Headcanons

Here we go - Valentine’s Day Headcanons for the main cast of AoT. Enjoy!

Armin - (the friend that is always single but the eternal advice-giver to those in relationships)

Armin - Armin has become more and more frustrated by the slow, painful progression of his best friends’ relationship. Everyone is aware that Eren and Mikasa have feelings for each other except for Eren and Mikasa. The tension is putting everyone on edge and Armin has had as much as he can take. As Valentine’s Day approaches, he decides on a scheme that will prompt Eren into confessing. 

Armin’s first move is to drop a lie into his conversation with Eren; that allegedly Mikasa has Valentine’s Day plans with Jean and a few of the others. Eren is taken aback by his exclusion from the fictional social gathering. Later, his surprise turns to fury when Sasha and Connie deny their involvement and assume that the gathering only consists of Jean and Mikasa. Armin had hoped that Eren’s jealousy would fuel him to speak to Mikasa. Instead, in a wild temper, Eren confronts Jean. It is Mikasa’s anger, however, which eclipses Eren’s own. Disappointed with their childish in-fighting, she decides to avoid both Jean and Eren until after the holiday. Momentarily, Armin is guilt-ridden at the result of his endeavour. That is, until Eren approaches Mikasa. They speak about the source of Eren’s anger and insecurity concerning her and Jean. Eventually he finds the words to ask the question -  “what am I to you?” And this time, Mikasa doesn’t say family. 

It’s all in a day’s work for Armin Arlet, that ostensibly innocent, diabolical mastermind. Happy for his friends at last, he spends Valentine’s Day curled up beside his cat with a good book. His phone sits on the table next to him, ready to reply to anyone who needs his advice. 

Eren x Mikasa 

Eren - when asked about his Valentine’s Day plans, Eren declares that Mikasa has shown no interest in the holiday. “She’s not like other girls. She’s cool,” he smugly assures his friends. Unaware of their ridiculing, Armin takes him to one side and tells him that this might not entirely be the case. He translates Mikasa’s ‘girl speak’ for Eren, convincing him that Mikasa is in fact expecting him to organise some form of celebration to mark the occasion. Whilst Eren disagrees at first, he soon realises that Armin is right. Then the second and far more pressing problem presents itself; Eren has no idea where to take her. Again, Armin comes to his rescue. He suggests that Eren and Mikasa take a long walk across the Ackermans’ farmland and into the beautiful woods that lay at the edge of their field. It’s a personal place for Mikasa, filled with childhood memories. He tells Eren to pack a picnic and spend the afternoon with her; for Mikasa loves nothing more than the peace and solitude of the woods, other than his company.

Mikasa - If the Valentine’s Day arrangements were left up to Mikasa, then she would ensure that Eren’s day would consist of his two favourite things: destroying titans and cheeseburgers. She would book day passes to the new Titan-themed amusement park which has recently opened up outside of town. The centre has high ropes, zip wires and a rifle range so Eren would be in his element. Afterwards, they would grab burgers at a mid-range restaurant (nowhere too fancy as they’re still students!)

Sasha x Niccolo (and Connie)

Niccolo - Niccolo knows that Sasha would never be interested in traditional Valentine’s gifts such as flowers or jewellery, but they have been dating for a few months and he wants to get her a gift. Consequently, he ambushes her after school one afternoon with a bouquet. Sasha is shocked by his sudden appearance whilst Connie finds the whole situation hilarious. When Sasha looks more closely, she sees that Niccolo has actually purchased her a chicken nugget bouquet. It is her wildest dream come true. (I saw this on Facebook and immediately thought of Sasha!)

Niccolo (Modern AU) - Sasha goes out for dinner at Nico’s restaurant. Connie and Jean accompany her and the three of them enjoy the best meal they have ever had. Sasha stays behind after the other two have  left. She enters the kitchen, where Niccolo is busy wiping down the surfaces. Sasha wraps her arms around Nico's waist and kisses him softly on the neck. At the sound of her whispered “thank you,” he turns around and takes her face in his hands…

Sasha - Niccolo’s culinary skills and restaurant recommendations are usually the inspiration for their dates. However, on this particular Valentine’s Day, Sasha decides to return the favour and cook him a mouth-watering dinner. The only issue is that she can never rid her house of her parents and siblings. Luckily Niccolo’s parents are going out for Valentine’s Day, leaving them with a free house at last. Sasha is thrilled to take over the kitchen and show Niccolo that she can cook too, whilst Niccolo has something else planned for dessert (wink wink).

Connie - Niccolo has Sasha all to himself on Valentine's Day so it is only fair that Connie gets his best friend back on the 15th February. All the unsold Valentine’s Day chocolates are half price in the shops so the pair sprint into town with empty backpacks. This year is much like any other; both of them eat until they are sick.

Jean - Jean is heartlessly mocked by his friends for not having a date on Valentine’s Day. Angered, Jean contradicts them, insisting that he has just started seeing someone. When asked for details, Jean only divulges that the mysterious girl is “cute” and goes to another school. When posed with further questions, Jean explains that the school would not be known to them as it is in another town. Soon his friends’ questions turn to demands for proof. Jean continues to defend his position, claiming that his new girlfriend isn’t on social media and he hasn’t taken any photos of them together on his phone yet. He almost has the others convinced when Connie asks for the girl’s name. Jean hesitates for a second too long, before storming off to a chorus of cruel laughter. 

Marco - is single and without a date for Valentine’s Day. His friends are outraged on his behalf  and Marco feigns his disappointment. In reality, he is secretly content to be by himself as there is no one he is currently interested in. (I headcanon Jean as straight and Marco as gay. I imagine that Jean didn’t realise this about Marco straightaway and when he found out he maintained his distance, incorrectly assuming that Marco’s friendliness was due to his interest in him. Hurt and shocked by Jean’s narrow-minded reaction, Marco confronted him. It took a while for the two to make up but eventually they did. Now Marco just brings the whole episode up occasionally to annoy Jean).

Historia/Christa x Ymir (and Reiner)

Reiner - Reiner has put considerable time into preparing for this moment. He has been on the receiving end of Christa’s smiles and flirtatious small talk enough times to consider himself eligible for a date with her. Today is the day. Reiner has practised his words (which even Bertolt seemed taken in by), and he has put on his best shirt. As the bell announces break time, he slinks by the lockers. Christa is speaking to Ymir. Reiner approaches slowly, pausing to withdraw a comb from his pocket to smooth back his hair. Ymir is partially blocking his view of Christa. This girl is emotionally and physically getting in his way; for Reiner is forced to angle around a passerby just to keep his eyes on Christa. Reiner continues and Ymir leans forward a little more. Then, just before Reiner can open his mouth, she kisses her! Reiner stands there, frozen. This is certainly not how he and Bert rehearsed it. (Or was it? ;) - Stolen from HIMYM but it just fits them perfectly!)

Historia - As Ymir has taken the lead on so many relationship-defining moments (the confession, first kiss, first date, first-), Historia wants to plan a Valentine’s Day that she will never forget. Historia has saved up every pay cheque from her weekend job at Shingeki coffee so she can take Ymir out for a night in the city. However she only manages to afford their train fare; nothing else. Still, the pair walk around the capital with hands clasped, despite the judgemental whispers of the bourgeoisie. Giggling at their ridiculous top hats, frock coats and fine feathers, Historia and Ymir run towards the city centre. They window shop, stare up at impressive landmarks and gaze hungrily into fine dining establishments. Historia and Ymir end their date by grabbing takeout at the station before devouring it on the train ride home. People stare; they don’t care.

Ymir - takes Historia out to her favourite dessert restaurant. Over a plate of crepes and strawberries, Ymir tells Historia that she is in love with her. Historia is astonished and only manages a weak “thank you.” Despite the sting of her lukewarm response, Ymir insists that Historia must have known how she felt and is content to wait until she is ready to say it back (“however long it takes.”)

Bertolt x Annie (and Reiner again, lol)

Bertolto - Bertolt cherishes his friendship with Reiner but he often finds it difficult to make himself heard when in his presence. Despite his assurances to Reiner that he is content enough to remain as Annie’s friend and content enough to receive monosyllabic replies from her during conversations, Reiner refuses to listen. Bert really doesn’t want to admit his true feelings for Annie but, unfortunately, his best friend has other ideas. He coaches Bertolt on everything from his clothing, to the manner in which he should approach her, to the precise wording of his confession. 

As Valentine’s Day looms ever closer, Reiner gives a heartening pep talk for Bertolt’s benefit before all but marching him over to where Annie is retrieving her bag and shoes from her locker. She glances up, frowning at Reiner’s grandiose greeting. His head turns and he catches Bert not walking but running away. Annie is speechless.

Levi x Hange

Levi - Levi would be filled with trepidation as Valentine’s Day approaches. In the two weeks since he and Hange kissed unexpectedly in his apartment, he has found himself quietly irritated at her carelessly cheerful demeanour. He had imagined that the pair would talk about the situation at least but Hange has said nothing on the subject. This has left Levi to brood over the implications of the kiss, whilst Hange has been strolling around the school quite oblivious to his internal conflict. Alone, he cannot figure out how to move forward, ideally to securing a date. 

A mixture of frustration and anxiety eventually pushes him over the edge. One day, as Hange is walking buoyantly down the corridor, Levi steps out and seizes her by the collar. Possibly he had imagined his gesture to be a romantic one, but in reality it amounts to a stream of half-shouted shit-themed insults culminating in a threat. Based on the 16,000 yen that she still owes him, Levi demands that she buys him dinner that Saturday. Startled at first, Hange slowly manages a sly grin, leaving Levi in wide-eyed disbelief that she would ever say yes to an emotionally-constipated asshole like him. Then again, when has Hange ever reacted to anyone or anything appropriately? 

Levi - (Modern AU) - As someone who favours being outdoors, Levi would make an effort to organise a scenic and entertaining date. Whether this involves a museum visit, a hike, horseback riding or a long walk through the city streets, he would ensure that it is enough to impress. Sophisticated dining would follow, either upon a building terrace with a panoramic view or his favourite tea salon. When in a more established relationship, he would favour home dates; cleaning his place until it is spotless before cooking a nice meal from scratch.

Hange - (Modern AU) - Hange knows exactly what Levi likes. She cleans their apartment until it is positively gleaming before setting up the rice cooker for his favourite meal; plain rice with no garnish. Levi arrives home from work and is stunned by the shining countertops. He turns to the doorway where Hange is standing, hair still dripping from her bath. His heart is racing but his look of disdain gives nothing away. 

“You’re wasting your time with all this cleaning, Four Eyes.” Levi approaches her, hands loosening his tie. “You see, things are about to get real dirty…”

(Special thanks: youre-ackermine; wanderlust-queen-writes; sixpennydame)

[lonelinessmademecrazy]

You said you've been writing down (or rather, typing up) whatever comes to your head when you first wake up. Would you be comfortable sharing some of the things you've written?

Sure, I see no harm in that. Some of the dates are a bit off due to me forgetting what days I had or had not accounted for.

Also, this will probably have a “read more” section bc this is LONG.

6/1/24

pasta would be better without the wait time. Why can’t it be packaged like udon?

6/2/24

No, I’m not paying for your tax write-off of a vacation

6/3/24

I’m not a monster. I’m not a creature. I’m not a god. I’m human. I’m normal. I’m perfectly normal.

6/6/24

Just like the coocoo bird effect,I killed my false parents. Dug my teeth into their flesh and tore and shred until there was nothing left. Only blood and bone shards.

6/7/24

cheese. not celery. CHEESE. Worst salsa de queso ever

6/9/24

I want chocolate

6/10/24

Feigning humanity only starves me further.

6/11/24

They worship the very thing that will kill them. They know it’ll kill them. Why do they expect appreciation from an old deity?

6/12/24

el conejo es muy delicioso

6/13/24

Tear, rip, shred, filét, slice, stab, scratch, do what I want. I’m so hungry and so angry.

6/15/24

Need to make friends. I’m so lonely

6/16/24

You’re a fucking liar. Go kill yourself.

Better yet, let me do it for you, pathetic waste of flesh.

6/17/24

I’m not a monster. I’d never eat that. I’d never do that. Nobody should worship me.

I’m just a normal human.

6/18/24

Kitty cat!! In car!! I want a pet kitty!

6/21/24

Those macarons were so fucking good. I should go get some more. Vanilla and pistachio

6/22/24

Beach

6/23/24

Water would be nice. It’s so hot

6:24/24

Mayonnaise is such a weird condiment

6/28/24

Cookies and cream flavored milkshakes are the best thing to grace the shelves of my fridge.

6/29/24

How much could a creature possibly need to eat? So many lives lost.

7/1/24

Sleep is for the weak

7/2/24

God, please let me sleep

7/3/24

Sleepy time tea

Check the mail

7/5/24

Cult. It’s a cult. They’re in fucking cult.

They worship the same thing that warned me about them

7/7/24

Don’t let them know

I know

I’m starving

7/9/24

Cake pops would sell so good on campus.

7/10/24

What do you mean you want a cheeseburger combo with no cheese. That’s just a hamburger combo.

No, a combo is just the burger and fries, you’re thinking of a meal. The meal has a drink with it.

7/11/24

I fucking hate fast food, oh my god

7/12/24

My thoughts get louder at night. Just when I think things are changing.

My thoughts get louder at night.

The insistent need to tear and rip and shred. I’d never, though.

I’m not a monster.

Right?

7/13/24

Shut up, you can make your own damn french fries.

7/14/24

I deserve a pay raise

7/15/24

That guy is not even real. Why does everyone think he’s stalking me?

7/18/24

It’s raining so much. I hate hurricane season

7/19/24

Can I PLEASE make it to work without driving through a literal flood??

7/20/24

Burger

Fries

Milkshake?? Eh, ice cream is better

7/21/24

Hunger. It’s all I feel. No matter how much I eat, I’m always hungry.

Maybe I’m not eating the right thing.

7/22/24

My teeth itch every time one of you talks. You’re all so annoying, I just wanna bite out your jugulars.

7/23/24

Bacon jerky

7/24/24

Something claws from deep within, begging for just a taste. Just a drop, a shred, a chunk, a bite.

I don’t want to eat that. That’s gross. But my brain tells me otherwise.

7/25/24

I’ve been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet

A pawn and a king

7/26/24

How many lives did they truly live? How many times did they all repeat that same, vicious cycle.

How lucky am I to be an outside viewer.

An observer

7/27/24

Kimchi jiggae and a big ass bottle of strawberry caplico

7/28/24

I want strawberry milk

7/29/24

He’s not the guardian. He’s the firebrand. That fucking liar. You’re just as bad as your captor.

8/1/24

Mmmm steamed egg

8/2/24

Vanilla ice cream

No, strawberry

[mossy-thing]

15 Questions for 15 followers

Thank you @tathrin for tagging me! I know that it has been literal months, but I forgot I had screenshotted the questions and couldn't find them on your blog. Oops. Anyway!

1. Are you named after anyone?

Indeed I am! Alexander the Great, to be precise! Why would my mum name her child after a colonising murderer? I kept kicking her. Like, in uterus. I was a very agressive fetus. And also a very agressive baby, I just kept. Biting her. Like I was angry she gave me life. (Which on second thought, considering the people I've had to deal with so far... understandable, little me.)

2. When was the last time you cried?

Tonight! I had a recurring nigtmare of a zombie chasing me. I escaped, the thing that made it a nightmare was that I had locked it in with my family. And when I woke up, I was convinced I had killed them.

3. Do you have kids?

No, and I hopefully never will! Fun fact about 8 year old me, when a teacher told us that every girl would find a boy to settle down and have kids with one day in sex ed, I very confidently announced that I would never start a family because it would hold me back in my career. This is like one of those moments I should have realised I'm aroace, lol.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Kind of. The issue is that people often think I'm serious.

5. What's the first thing you notice about people?

When I see them, what they look like. When I talk to them on the phone, it's their voice. Is there another option?

6. What's your eyecolour?

Green.

7. Scary movies or good endings?

Both, as long as I get to analyze the living hell out of them. (Example: when watching The Menu for the first time, I kept bothering my mum like: Look, she said she doesn't want an intellectually callenging dinner and he literally crushes meatballs that look like brains for her cheeseburger! Mum look! Mum isn't this amazing??) I also really love tortured characters, so scary movies or stuff with a lot of angst potential is what I usually gravitate towards, but I really like some happy movies too.

8. Any special talents?

First and foremost, I don't really believe in talents, and get irrationally angry when people tell me I must have a natural gift or something because to me, that implies I didn't work my ass off for years to get to a good point but that Fortuna just emptied a bucket of goods over my head as soon as I entered this world kicking, screaming and biting everyone. The only thing that I would count as a talent (in a very loose meaning of the word) is that I started reading whole books about 3 months after getting to school. I think that's hyperlexia? Might be wrong, I never really researched it.

9. Where were you born?

Not in switzerland, despite my elementary school certificate saying so.

10. What are your hobbies?

Reading, writing, drawing, playing the lyre, at the moment everything Tolkien, though that can change in like a day to something completely different.

11. Do you have any pets?

I do!! She is a cat, her name is Indira, she is very cuddly and sounds permanently pissed, to the point that a friend who was watching her while we were on vacation sent us a very concerned message because she had actually meowed like a normal cat for once. She hates other animals of all kinds, had to be kept in a seperate room in the shelter we picked her up from, was born on the same day as me (though two years later) and has a habit of sitting in a spot in the garden where she can be seen by the dogs on both sides of the fence and meowing very provocatively. The people in the shelter actually wanted to name her Diva because she is such a little bitch, but they decided on Indira since they thought people wouldn't take her in if her name was Diva. I love her very much.

12. What sports do you play/have you played?

I was forced to play batminton in 7th grade because of a stupid rule that said that all band kids had to do a sport thing too. I hated every second of it.

13. How tall are you?

1,63m. At my birth, people calcualted that I would never get over 1,45, and I was the shortest kid in everything until I was 16, when I grew 20 centimeters at once without warning. I very much enjoy telling people I am taller than them.

14. Favourite subject in school?

Art and English.

15. Dream job?

A published author. I am actually working on a trilogy right now! It might take a while until I actually get it done though. Does anyone know how cold it has to be that your fingers have to be amputated? Google is failing me.

Tagging (only if you want, also yay I have nearly enough followers to actually do this now!) @strawberriesinmoominvalley @dirtmuse @babybat98 @eight-ball-juice @liamwinters @harmoniousworld @hyperlexia-1 @daeron-the-flautist @mistergandalf @the-sewerrats @slowdeathhymn @suuzzzzzzannnnn otherwise this is an open tag.

[ithappensblog]

nice to meet you

Hi, I’m Jenny and welcome to my blog. In this post, I want to share with you some of the highlights and challenges of my life so far, and how I’m trying to find my purpose and happiness in this world.

I’m almost 34 years old and still struggling to figure out my life. Aren't we all? I’ve gone to school for a diploma program in Medical Laboratory Technician/Phlebotomy, a diploma program for Accounting Technician, and started my Human Resource Management diploma program too. I’ve always wanted to be an RN but, life and my body had other plans for me. I’ve always been interested in learning new things and pursuing different careers, and I've finally found one which fulfills me. I have a really good job now, but I’m not really supposed to talk about what I do so I’m going to leave that part out, but it’s finally something I’m good at and something I enjoy doing. It pays well and gives me flexibility and stability. It also challenges me and allows me to use my skills and creativity.

I have a husband who I’ve been with for 10 years now. Jason has helped me grow into a much better person and loves me unconditionally. He supports me in everything I do and encourages me to follow my dreams. I have 2 stepsons who have given me a run for my money but I still love them both at the end of the day. They are growing up so fast and I’m proud of the young men they are becoming. After an incredibly challenging fertility journey, I have my almost 5 year old daughter who is bright, caring, funny, and wise beyond her years. She is the light of my life and the reason I smile every day. I always tell her she saved my life, and it's true, but I won't tell her how until she's much older.

I have a passion for traveling and exploring new places. We try to do a big family vacation once a year and just this year decided that one trip a year should be spent nurturing our relationship. I love animals and have two dogs and three cats who keep me company and make me laugh. I’m on a journey to self love after spending my entire life as an overweight underdog. I’ve struggled with my body image and self-esteem for as long as I can remember, but I’m learning to accept myself and love myself for who I am. I have a daughter now, and I owe it to her to be kind to myself as the way I behave in front of her will be a reflection of how she treats her own body.

I live with many invisible illnesses both mentally and physically but try my best to get through every day. Some of the conditions I deal with are anxiety, depression, PTSD, OCD, ADHD, insulin resistent PCOS, Chronic Kidney Disease, chronic fatigue syndrome, migraines, and more. Yeah, I know, it fucking sucks. But, I'm definitely not here to gain pity for my health problems. By looking at me, you'd think the only problem I'd had in my life was enjoying one too many cheeseburgers. Some days are better than others, but some days are really hard. I try to be positive and optimistic, but sometimes I feel hopeless and overwhelmed. I’m grateful for the support of my family, friends, doctors, therapists, and online communities who help me cope and understand that I’m not alone.

I grew up in Guelph, Ontario and ventured back to Sudbury, Ontario after leaving my now ex-husband which was the best decision I’ve ever made. He was an interesting choice to say the least, and for the longest time I felt so trapped. It took me a long time to gather the courage to leave him, but when I did, I felt free and empowered. It was a turning point in my life that led me to meet my current husband and start a new chapter.

I’m thankful for this beautiful life I live. It’s not perfect, but it’s mine. And it’s full of love, laughter, learning, adventure, growth, gratitude, and hope. Thank you for reading this post even though you're probably rolling your eyes at yet another new overnight brainchild. But I'm going to try to use this as an outlet to heal and grow from the shit life throws my way, and hopefully inspire others to do the same along the way.

[izicodes]

Hi again!!

Your answers were all really interesting to me, especially your wide range of interests :D

I hope you'll excuse the shorter ask tonight, you know what Life™ is like, but tonight's random questions are:

> What genres of music/artists do you enjoy? Do you have any song recs?

> Do you enjoy cooking? What are your top 3 savoury meals, desserts and snacks?

> Do you have any pets, or would you like to own a pet (or several!) in the future?

Take care and remember to keep drinking water <333

~ E

Hello again!!

Life can get in the way of things, completely understandable! Don't worry! Just make sure you're looking after yourself in the process!

To answer your questions!!

1. I am a big fan of Lana Del Rey, especially her unreleased music! When she sings softly, it's so beautiful to hear. I've listened to her since 2014, she's so nostalgic to me. She has an amazing voice, in my opinion. My top artists/bands are: Lana Del Rey, Sabbaton, t.A.T.u, Flotsam & Jetsam. I love them a lot. My top genre would have to be Pop (because of t.A.T.u), Metal/Gothic Metal and Rock ♡

2. I do enjoy it sometimes but I grew up in a household where my dad basically banned people using the kitchen only because he loves to cook for people so he always wanted to do it. And now I have a fiancé who's very similar and wants to do the cooking in the relationship. Call me spoiled but I'm very lucky to be eating good food because of them! My favourite meal/food has to be cheeseburgers (double or triple), döner meat, classic British Christmas dinner and toffee ice-cream! ♡

3. In the past I had cats! But one passed away and the other my Dad didn't want him anymore. They were called Pipee and Blanco! Now I don't have any pets. In the future, I want to have those small pigs and those large black goats with the big horns! I'll be living on a large land by then so there'll be space for them to wander! ♡

Thank you for the ask! Hope you're having a nice day/night!

- Loa ♡

[selfshipstorm]

Howdy Bear!! I really enjoyed reading through your different s/is- I like how there are basic similarities between them all and then some minor differences like eye colors and hair texture; I wanted to ask, which of your s/is would you say are most like you and which are different?

Would they all get along if you put them in a room together?

If you were to assign each one an animal companion that truly reflected each individual s/i, who would get what animal and why?

I'm looking forward to your answers!

Clover @tex-treasures

howdy! glad to know you enjoyed reading through them! they were definitely fun to write. also, this answer got a bit longer than i thought it would. in regards to my 'meet my s/i' intro bits! as for your questions : which s/i am i most vs least like. there's a few similarities physically with a couple of them. zigzag, rebecca, dorothy, margaret, ophelia, and elizabeth all share my body type, considering i'm not the skinniest person out there. they share variations on my boring dark hair and slightly less boring hazel eyes. personality-wise, i'd be closest to rebecca, dorothy, or ophelia. dorky young adult, small friend group, 'nerdy' interests. outside of tumblr, i'm not very talkative to folks outside my friend group of maybe half a dozen. as far as least similar? the fight-y types like minerva or brielle. they're more than happy to throw down, i am not. they're outspoken and loud. i am not.

second question : do i think they'd all get along? it'd definitely be interesting. i played with this idea already, but there's a few more s/is added after that. i feel like some would get along almost immediately. rebecca and dorothy would definitely get along, considering they're from the same universe. they'd also presumably get along rather well with morrigan, considering that the three have the same era, all being from the 80s. the one who would bridge the gap between the vintage group and the modern group would be margaret, bouncing around to play some sort of in-betweener considering she has lived through both eras. minerva and brielle bond over similar experiences. ophelia and dorothy bond over a love of 80s slashers. i think everyone would get along rather well, but it'd take a while for the various cliques that would form to start mixing.

as far as animal companions... oh boy. zigzag gets a housecat. specifically a norwegian forest cat. ( more specifically, one of mine. daphne. ) laid-back + chill most of the time but will not hesitate to claw your face off if provoked enough. prone to napping. norwegian forest cats are gentle giants. plus, I feel like zigzag would like a cat.  brielle would be some sort of crafty little primate. monkeys can prove to be extremely intelligent, and are also quite playful, happy creatures. bri is a bit of a planner when it comes to things regarding libertad, as well as being the happy-go-lucky, jokester-y kind of person. she definitely enjoys taking time to entertain others for their own sake. she's knee deep in a war and knows that keeping spirits up is a good goal to have. rebecca is a dog. hands down. specifically something like a golden retriever or a similarly overly friendly breed. loyal to a fault, friendly, kind, willing to follow her friends into danger. dorothy is also a dog, but this time, she'd be more of a german shepherd. still with the same kindhearted qualities as rebecca, but dorothy has more of a penchant for getting down and dirty when it comes to help her friends. minerva would be a bear. which is kinda funny, considering one of her animal friends already is a grizzly bear named cheeseburger. the bear is the symbol of power, believing in yourself, keeping your head up. natural born leaders. they're similar beasts. margaret gets a corvid. raven, crow, take your pick. most corvids have connections to magic, which are fitting for a witch. they also tend to represent adaptability, which fits her story considering you'd have to adapt living over 100 years. corvids also represent intelligence and cunning, and for a girl who's talked her way out of more scrapes than she can count- it fits. morrigan gets a wolf. i know, i know. wolves tend to represent loyalty, curiosity, protection, all things that can tie back to morrigan. the loyalty and the protection aspects can apply to both her family and her boys. curiosity is a major factor in her everyday life and was one of the reasons why she didn't run for the hills upon hearing that the boys she'd grown quite fond of were vampires. ophelia would get either a butterfly, or a squirrel. a butterfly due to the symbolism around change and transformation. a squirrel die to the connection to hard work and preparation. the butterfly connects back to the change she goes through after meeting billy and stu. they help her out of her shell a bit. the squirrel to hard work and preparation, namely owing to the fact that her and billy tend to be the brains of the operation, as well as the fact that ophelia's presence helps their plan to go off without a hitch. elizabeth would have an owl. a bit of a loner of a creature, which matches well with elizabeth's self-isolation after being sent away by mother miranda. owls are traditionally a symbol of intelligence, and that is a trait which elizabeth posesses, considering she did most of the experiments to discover the extent of her abilities herself.

Thanks for the ask!! @tex-treasures

[midnightsunnyday]

The Brothers Go To Bath & Body Works

A/N: because I was bored and like headcanons where the brothers are in ordinary situations doing ordinary things, yet because of their nature and ignorance of human culture, get in all types of trouble. Definitely counts as a crack post.

--------------

Lucifer: for horrid's sake it's like Asmodeus and Mammon's bathrooms exploded.

Satan: for once I have to agree with you. This place is a bit...assaulting.

Leviathan: ugh. This is just like that anime I watched: My Partner Tricked Me Into Going Shopping And Now I'm Stuck Watching Them Make Horrible Financial Decisions!

MC: that sounds way too contrived to be a real show.

Satan: furthermore, are we really about to spend an hour shopping for candles?

MC: no, I'm about to spend an hour shopping for candles. You all can wait outside *sighs* At least Asmo gets it.

Asmodeus: such splendor! Such rapture! I mean just look at it: the colors! The scents! The mini hand sanitizers! Oooh, and is that a sale? Buy three get two free, you say?

Lucifer, scanning the shelves: and what is this absurdity?  Pumpkin pecan, pumpkin apple, vanilla pumpkin, pumpkin clove, cinnamon pumpkin, caramel pumpkin...just what is it with you humans and your obsession with pumpkins?

MC: hey, don't judge my culture. Pumpkin scented and flavored products are an annual mortal tradition.

Lucifer: a tradition that should be banned, clearly.

Mammon: humans sure are strange though. I mean, why have an entire store dedicated to something so lame?

Satan: well, candles can be used for many purposes, but for most humans they're not only therapeutic, but romantic. In fact, it's customary for human lovers to light a multitude of candles around their dwelling to draw in their mate.

Mammon: to draw in their mate, huh? Ya don't say...

*loud clanging noises*

MC: Mammon...why are you scooping an entire row of candles into your shopping bag?

Mammon: oi, what are ya the candle police? Don't worry about it.

Salesperson: just so you know, all our three wick candles are--

Mammon: --buy three get two free. Yeah, yeah, we read the sign!

--------------

Belphegor: hey, which scent do you think smells better on me?

MC: *sniffs* ooh, I really like the lavender one.

Belphegor: good, then that's the one I'll buy. That way, when we finish taking our naps together, you'll smell me all over your sheets. And your clothes. And your pillows. And the rest of your room.

MC: sounds very...Pavlovian. Just no leashes or collars, please. 

Belphegor: I think you might have me confused with Lucifer...and possibly Satan.

--------------

Asmodeus: Satan dear, please tell me you aren't going to buy that just because it has a cat on it?

Satan, blushing: of course not. I was just...looking, is all.

Leviathan: you know, you're kinda behaving like an otaku who wants to buy all the latest merch of their favorite character.

Asmodeus: so like you, then?

Leviathan: hey! Otaku are a proud people who fuel their hobbies with the upmost passion and dedication. There's no shame in it.

Asmodeus: whatever you say, brother ~

Salesperson: just so you know, that's our limited edition Halloween scent, which is only around for the holidays.

Satan: hmm...

Salesperson, wearing a cheeky grin: we also have cat shaped plug ins.

Satan: where?

Asmodeus: now wait just a--

Salesperson: --did I also mention that we're having a sale on all our bath products?

Asmodeus: on all the bath products, you say?

Leviathan, rolling his eyes: normies.

--------------

Salesperson: excuse me, sir?

Lucifer, sighing: if you're attempting to sell me something, then I rather hear the quick version.

Salesperson: it's just that you seem a bit...tense. Do you happen to suffer from stress? If so, I can show you a few items in our aromatherapy collection.

*Lucifer, gazing over at Leviathan and Mammon*

Mammon: ok, ok, on the count of three. One, two...three!

*Leviathan and Mammon shrieking in pain as they spritz body mist into each other's eyes*

Lucifer: ...I'm listening.

--------------

Belphegor: hey guys, I don't think it was a good idea to bring Beel in here.

Lucifer: meaning....

Beelzebub, holding two candles and mumbling to himself: this one says banana walnut muffin and this one says warm apple pie, but it's not a muffin and that's not a pie, but it smells like one, but I can't eat it, but it's named after food, but it's not food...*falls to his knees* it's not food.

Leviathan: uh...

Beelzebub, in a trance like state: it's not food. It's not food. It's not food.

Satan: well, this doesn't look good.

Mammon, placing a hand on Beelzebub's shoulder: hey, little bro. You ok?

Beelzebub: so...the time for retribution has come? Such an ironic fate, being made to roam this chamber which torments me with scents familiar, yet unable to satiate. For centuries I've scourged the lands, devouring flesh to still the pain that naws at my being. Cursed to eat without gain. Without joy. Forever crowned as the sin of gluttony, a crown in which I sometimes find too heavy to bear. For some, I was once a god, for others a mere pest. Even so, I find myself in a hell not of my own creation, but one in which I rightfully deserve.

MC: um, Beel? I love you, but you're freaking everyone out.

Beelzebub, looking up at MC with empty eyes: ah, the mortal to whom I am bound. Tell me, are you here to guide me towards salvation? Or are you too like these wondering souls, searching for nourishment in that which is fleeting? However, I advise you make your decision with haste, as soon I will no longer be able to tell friend from prey.

*silence*

MC: ...we really need to get him some food.

Mammon, helping Beelzebub to his feet: ok, time to go, buddy.

Asmodeus: how about we get you some McDonald's. Do you like McDonald's, Beel?

Beelzebub: immortality is a curse. The only true salvation lies in oblivion.

Asmodeus: ...he wants McDonald's.

*at the food court*

Asmodeus: still, I can't believe I ended up purchasing several bags worth of lotions, candles, and body sprays *shivers* such an insidious place. I love it!

Lucifer: admittedly, this pillow mist is very soothing. Though may I suggest that next time we go somewhere less...traumatizing?

Satan, staring down into his bag full of cat shaped plug ins: *sighs* agreed.

Mammon and Leviathan, holding a cup of ice to their eyes: definitely.

MC: I just wanted us all to go shopping. How was I suppose to know scented candles would make Beel suffer an existential breakdown?

Lucifer: speaking of which, how are you feeling, Beel?

Beelzebub, stuffing his face: cheeseburgers and nuggets are my favorite food from McDonald's.

Lucifer: that's nice Beel.

Leviathan: well, that problem solved itself.

Mammon: but man, what a day. All this shopping sure gave me quite the workout *stretches his arm over MC* I think I'm just gonna head home, light a bunch of candles around my dwelling, let MC walk in and ya know...see what happens.

MC: *sighs* This is exactly the reason why I shop online.

[brian-in-finance]

Robert Wilson

Video 📹 clips at https://twitter.com/jradloff/status/1520979184536932353?s=21&t=r6Agn18hEFB8_PHY205lVg

Outlander's Caitriona Balfe and Sam Heughan Answer Every Question (Well, Almost) About That Season Six Finale

The pair reveals the hardest part of the episode to film, and where the series is most likely to pick up when it returns.

Outlander's season six finale just left us with one hell of a cliffhanger. It's going to make however long this next Droughtlander lasts even harder to get through. At least knowing that production is well underway on the new season is of some comfort. With any luck, we'll be getting answers before spring 2023. (Now is a good time to point out that if you haven't watched the season six finale yet, bookmark this page and come back once you have.)

So let's get to the good stuff, shall we? The episode—titled “I Am Not Alone”—opens with the theme song, and not a cold open as is usually the case. We soon understand why: Claire—or if it's not Claire, it's a woman who looks nearly exactly like her—is seen at a diner in the late '50s or so with a fellow companion (most likely a young Bree) ordering a Coke, burger, and fries. That's really all we get before we shift back to the late 1700s as Claire is about to be arrested for a murder she didn't commit.

Richard Brown, the head of the Committee of Safety, says he will leave the Ridge only when he has Claire in his possession. Jamie is not about to let that happen, and neither is Claire: She shoots one of Brown's men who tries to capture her. All hell breaks out in the form of a shoot-out, and we see that brief moment from the opening credits where Claire purposefully walks out of her house with a rifle and takes aim. Meanwhile, Jamie says Claire being mistakenly arrested for Malva's death is only an excuse for revenge on Marsali for killing Richard Brown's brother Lionel (from the season five finale).

Robert Wilson

Much further away, we take a break from all the chaos and see Roger and Bree as they travel to Edenton. They discuss if and when they'll eventually tell Jemmy about time travel and what they went through to be together.

Back at the Ridge, there's a break amongst the violence as everyone regroups, but Claire and Jamie know they have a huge battle ahead of them. All I can think of (aside from their safety, of course) is their poor house and the mess they'll have to clean up. Of course, they'd be only so lucky to have that problem; at this rate, survival is all that matters.

Hundreds of miles away, with Jemmy asleep, Roger and Bree get busy while talking dirty about cars (you had to be there). But in all seriousness, it's a lovely moment between the couple.

As that's happening, Claire and Jamie start talking about what they'd want for their last meal; Claire votes for a cheeseburger, fries, and a Coke from Carmi's, a diner she used to take Bree to when she was little. “That was our regular order,” she tells her husband, and now that opening scene makes a lot more sense.

Meanwhile, Claire wants to know where their friends are, like Ian, to help them out of this predicament. Jamie says he doubts they're coming because they would have been there by now. Claire starts to spiral and thinks no one wants to help her because maybe they think she really did kill Malva. It's a harrowing thought, but my attention quickly turns to Adso, who is alive and well and walking in front of the fireplace.

Jamie then tells Claire about several of his near-death experiences over the years as they reminisce about days gone by. Jamie says a psychic of sorts once told him he was a cat and he saw the number nine, so Claire thinks that means he must have nine lives. (Appropriate.) We then see Adso (again!) eating his meal, and I really hope the writers are going to write this little guy in more in season seven. What a scene stealer!

OK, back to the real story: It's now the middle of the night, and Jamie must wake Claire up to tell her that the fisherfolk are coming. They've been sent to the Ridge to negotiate on behalf of Richard Brown. Things quickly escalate and talk turns to the possibility that Jamie killed Malva, not Claire. Then Richard Brown appears and says Claire must stand trial because if she's really innocent, what is there to be fearful of?

Eventually Lizzie and several of Jamie and Claire's allies show up, but Jamie says he and Claire have no choice but to leave with Brown and stand trial. Tom Christie then appears and says he will travel with them to make sure no further evil will be done. “Surely justice is mine if it be anyone's,” he declares. Jamie agrees, and I can only hope that Lizzie will take care of Adso, but I'm going to need some sort of confirmation.

Before Jamie and Claire leave, Tom says they should stay one more night at their house, in their own bed. Jamie thanks him. While Tom is far from the typical Outlander villain, there's something to be said for his kindness in the face of such turmoil.

Robert Wilson

On their last night in the house (at least for now), Claire reiterates to Jamie that they have a beautiful home, as if this is the last night they'll ever spend there. Jamie says this won’t be the last time they see it. In bed, Claire says she’s scared. They caress each other’s faces and have one more intimate lovemaking session before they embark on the unknown. It’s so very Mr. and Mrs. Smith with the shards of shattered glass and bullets and broken furniture around them even though they aren't each other's enemies.

The next morning Claire and Jamie are in a wagon as they prepare to say goodbye to the Ridge. On the journey, Tom Christie comes over at a resting point to give Claire some food. They will soon continue on to Wilmington, which is 200 miles away. One of the men wants to go to Cross Creek, but Richard says Jamie’s aunt lives near there and there’d never be a fair trial. Meanwhile, Richard condescendingly says Jamie need not worry, as Salisbury doesn’t have a court, but he let everyone know Claire is guilty. Tom is sitting nearby and seems to take pity on Claire for what she's having to go through.

Back at the Ridge, Lizzie tells Ian that Claire and Jamie have been taken. More on that later.

While in the wagon, Jamie tells Claire that Brown is losing control of his men and this is more trouble than it’s worth. Claire says Tom is very tired and wants to know his purpose in all of this. So do I.

Before we can get answers, people in the nearby town start throwing rocks and stones at the wagon, which hits Claire in the head. Tom yells at the townspeople to stop, that this isn’t justice. He tires to get Richard Brown to get a hold of his men, but that's not quite working so Tom shoots at them. Tom also looks really ill, and I'm truly worried that if something happens to him then Claire's life will really be in danger.

Back to Roger and Bree, who are traveling through the most gorgeous of green landscapes. I need to know where this magical setting is. Jemmy is super cute and tells Bree’s pregnant belly that he loves his future baby brother or sister so much. He also scratches his head, which causes Bree to notice he has lice and they'll have to cut his hair. You know there's something more to this, and there is: Bree notices a mark on her son's head, which Roger identifies as a nevus. It's nothing bad, he says, and doesn't usually develop until kids are two or three. Roger then nonchalantly says he has one as well and they're hereditary. Ding dong! Bree realizes that Jemmy is for sure Roger's son, and Roger immediately has Bree cut his hair, too. What a moment!

Robert Wilson

In less happier news, Claire’s hands are bruised and bloody from the rocks and stones that were thrown at her in the wagon. Jamie says Richard might regret all of this since the act of just getting Claire to a place to put her on trial is more than he bargained for. Later, Jamie goes outside to relieve himself and sees none other than young Ian! And he's not alone: Ian brought help! Jamie is thrilled but cautious and advises Ian not to act on anything yet and just stay close. Jamie says he if he tries to escape, it will look like an admission of guilt. Ian says he'll keep an eye on things and follow along.

Later, one of Richard Brown's men dies, but Richard doesn't care. “We ride on,” he says. But when Jamie is told to get out of the wagon to get water, Richard's other men start beating up on Jamie and take him captive. To his and Claire's horror, Richard orders his men to ride off with her. Richard says he’s not doing this for revenge on his brother Lionel because he knows he wasn’t a good man and what he did to Claire was awful, but this is because she’s a murderer. Then Tom rides up and says, “What the meaning of this? You promised not to hurt them.” Tom, have you not learned anything? Anyway, Tom will go supervise Claire because he promised Jamie he wouldn’t let her out of his sight. But Claire is beside herself. Even so, Claire says—via a voiceover—that Tom is right, because without him, she would be good as dead. Her only small hope is that if news of her arrest reaches Wilmington ahead of her, then maybe it will reach Roger and Bree in Edenton as well.

Much later, Claire is scared that Jamie is dead and Tom won’t admit it if he is. She then looks outside the wagon and sees she's in New Hanover. She’s placed in a prison block and locked up by the town sheriff without any food or water. But Tom, who really is looking out for Claire, comes by with some sustenance. But most important, he says, “Believe me, your husband is alive. Trust in God. He will deliver the righteous out of danger.” She responds by asking if he thinks she's righteous. He says he won't leave town and to trust in that too. You have to wonder just what Tom knows about his daughter's murder. Anyway, Richard Brown walks by Claire's cell and says he'll see her at the gallows. Yikes.

And then, as if this jam-packed hour couldn't be any more intense, we see Jamie tied up near the water. Brown's men are going to put Jamie on a ship to Edinburgh, Scotland. One of those men, Oakes, tells him he'll never see Claire again. Just as Jacoby is about to pummel Jamie with a large log, young Ian kills Jacoby from a hilltop above with his bow and arrow. Jamie is saved!

Robert Wilson

Well, not yet. As young Ian and the fellow members of the First Nation use their weapons to kill the rest of Brown's men, they take aim at Oakes, who still has Jamie tied up. Jamie tells Ian and Chief Bird not to kill Oakes because he knows where Claire is. Then Ian says, “So do we, uncle.” Chief Bird shoots Oakes with his rifle and the bullet goes straight through Oakes's hand into his eye socket. This has to be the most gruesome killing we've seen in some time, right?

Chief Bird walks up to Jamie and says, “I told you I would fight with you, Bear Killer.” Ian releases Jamie, and I'm so elated, I can't stand it. Then, in one of the most gorgeous establishing shots we've seen on the show, Jamie, Ian, Chief Bird, and the other good guys ride off in the sunset to rescue Claire.

What an episode, right?! But will Tom still be alive by the time Jamie gets to Claire? He's also been through the ringer, and while he has vowed to protect Claire, I don't have the same faith that Richard feels the same way about Tom. When Jamie does get to Claire (because obviously he has to), what kind of shape will his wife be in? And will the show follow the books in regards to revealing Malva's killer?

That's where Caitriona Balfe and Sam Heughan come in. They hopped on Zoom from Scotland to try and answer my questions. Take a deep breath and read on.

Robert Wilson

Glamour: I got Mr. And Mrs. Smith vibes watching Claire and Jamie battle it out against Richard Brown and the Committee for Safety in the first part of the episode.

Sam Heughan: Am I Angelina?

Caitriona Balfe: You're definitely Angelina.

How hard was that to shoot? Because no pun intended, but you're literally shooting at everything, and everybody's shooting at you.

Caitriona: It was fun. It was sometimes hard for me to get off the floor. [Laughs.] I was six months pregnant, and I was a little concerned about what my child was thinking was going on out there. But we had fun, right?

Sam: We did. Interestingly, we shot all the exterior stuff first, so any conversation out of the window [that Jamie has with] the guys we shot maybe weeks before, and then we did all the interior scenes. It was kind of a bit of a jigsaw, but it was fun. I think that scene—the last supper—is beautiful. Caitriona, you spent the whole scene lying on the floor.

Caitriona: Yeah. But then I would have to get up at the end of it. We did multiple takes and they're like, “Can you get up?” I was like, “Oh.” [Laughs.]

Sam: And then we're blowing the house up. I think at one point they did have to redo it, didn't they? They had to reset a room. But anyway, we had to schedule all the interior stuff until the end of the shoot.

Robert Wilson

Jamie and Claire have a bittersweet last night in the house. What stands out for you about doing those scenes?

Sam: One of my favorite shots is Jamie and Claire's intimate scene when they're upstairs. When they're by the fire and the camera pans out and you see the destruction, the bits of the house that's completely broken, I think it's a metaphor for their reputation and for their whole world, right? It is being blown apart.

Let's talk about Tom Christie. He's not necessarily the best guy, but he's clearly looking out for Claire's wellbeing. Is it because she helped save his hand or might it be because he knows she really didn't kill Malva?

Sam: Or is it C, something else?

Caitriona: I think you're going to have to keep watching to find this all out. What has been lovely is that Mark Lewis Jones (Tom Christie) is amazing. Over this whole season, we've been able to see all of these layers under Tom. When we first met him, I think we can all agree that he was a bit of a pain in the ass. As we've gotten to know him more, he's a complex and complicated guy. There is a lot of heart there, I think.

Robert Wilson

When season seven premieres, will the storyline pick right up from where we leave Claire in the season six finale? Or will there be a bit of a time jump?

Caitriona: I don't know what we can say. They didn't actually tell us, so we can potentially just tell you everything.

Sam: Yeah, I don't know.

Caitriona: Very soon after. Should we say that?

Sam: It's either A, directly after, B, fairly soon, or C, something else.

Well played, Sam. That last scene where young Ian comes in with Chief Bird and rescues Jamie had me cheering. What did you appreciate about that moment, for both the character of Jamie and you as an actor?

Sam: Firstly, working with those actors, you have a beautiful arc there, a beautiful story of Jamie not being sure which side they would be on and being reluctant to give them weapons. And then eventually he does and ultimately they're used to protect and to save Jamie. Working with our First Nation, they were such fun. We had a total blast with them. They really brought a lot of their culture and heritage to set. Outside of shooting, as well, there was a lot that we were talking about our different cultures and they were really fun. It's a beautiful ending and it's up an upbeat one as well. There's a chance that Jamie's going to come back and find Claire and rescue her.

Ha! “There's a chance.”

Sam: There's a chance. He might. He might.

We've got to find out who killed Malva. We still don't know.

Sam: We don't know.

Caitriona: We'll never know.

We better know. I have to know.

Sam: A, you'll know. B, you know where I'm going with this.

I already know the title of this piece. It's going to be called multiple choice with Sam Heughan.

Sam: C, something else.

Well, thank you for making the time while you're in the middle of filming. Although since Sam had the day off, maybe he's drunk right now. I don't know…

Sam: If I was, I think…

Caitriona: A, he is. B, he's not. Or C, something else.

Sam: C, something else. I'm high. No. [Laughs.] I'm normally I'm drunk on these. So this is a first. We're learning something here.

And happy birthday too. By the time this piece runs, it'll be the day after your birthday. I hope they're throwing a big surprise party for you.

Sam: Oh, they are? Oh great.

Caitriona: Yeah. The Mariachi band is ordered, balloons are coming.

Sam: Aw, wonderful.

Jessica Radloff is the Glamour West Coast editor and author of the soon-to-be-published book The Big Bang Theory: The Definitive, Inside Story of the Epic Hit Series (October 11, 2022). You can follow her on Instagram @jessicaradloff14.

https://www.glamour.com/story/outlander-season-six-finale-recap

Remember… working with our First Nation (actors), they were such fun. We had a total blast with them. They really brought a lot of their culture and heritage to set. — Sam Heughan

[o-pandora-o]

Brothers in the Human Realm

No one was a demon to begin with (maybe luci though but-). You meet the brothers as human in the human realm. How would you meet them?

Lucifer:

Apparently some schoolmate of yours have done some violations in the school grounds and they used your name

You were sent to the Principal's office where you were questioned by Principal Diavolo about your wrong doings

You were trying to defend your innocence, but it was no avail

Coincidentally Lucifer was just dropping paperwork to Diavolo

Lucifer is your strict and scary and handsome college professor

He overheard the conversation and he defended you since he knew that you weren't lying

"Mr. Diavolo I must say, MC is one of my exceptional students, they would not do something as idiotic as that, and I clearly observe the behavior of my students"

Your H E R O

The next day, someone gave Principal Diavolo evidence of those who did wrong

Your name was cleared

Apparently you saw Lucifer giving those schoolmates detention, threat, and punishment. You may or may not seen a hint of killing intent in his eyes

You decided to thank Lucifer

"No worries, I just clearly observe the actions of what is mine"

H O L D U P

"Wha-" you replied

"Ah MC I have to go to my next class, take care"

Mammon:

Is a famous model, often the cover and centerfold of the monthly Majolish

For you Mammon was okay? I mean he is famous and many people likes his face

You were going to buy a limited edition  sunglasses that have hint of yellow and orange

You went to a sunglass store and asked the attendant if they they still have it but apparently the one on the display is their only stock

You decided to buy it

Apparently, Mammon also came to that specific sunglasses store looking for sunglasses that is the same as the one you bought

"I'm sorry sir, but apparently it was already bought and we have no stock" the attendant said

"Who bought it?"

"They did, sir" the attendant said as they point to you

"Oi! Can I buy the sunglasses from you? I'll pay double, no one can refuse the great Mammon"

"I'm sorry but I have to refuse. I really wanted it." you said

"Don't you know who I am? I'm-"

"The Great MAMMON, who is a famous model and often seen on Majolish magazine" you cut him off. "R-right! Now can i buy-"

"Nope sorry" you replied as you rushed to the exit

"Oi! What's your name? And contact details" he asked

"the name is MC, thats all you can get from me" you said as you rushed to the crowd

He was swarmed by the number of fans who saw him

He managed to find you and he chats you "Can I buy the sunglasses now?"

In the end it wasn't just sunglasses you talked about, you also talked about his struggle of being a model and your life

Leviathan:

Your username DestructoSheep is well known in the realms of Obey them

You always rank 2nd in pop quizzes

However no matter what you try, you can never beat your enemy, L3v1

Today, you got a letter from obey them, acknowledging the top players and giving them limited edition items

Ofc you have to go (there are limited items after all)

So you arrived early at the meetup place, no one was there yet so you played some obey them

A purple haired male entered the room, he looked fidgety, nervous, and he was mumbling something about normies

Cue giving of merch

The purple haired male tripped on the tiles and he dropped his phone in front of you

You helped him up and picked up his phone only to see his player name is L3v1.

"You.... You are L3v1." you sai

"Y-Yeah?W-Why?" he said as he was going to grab his phone away from you

"Waaaah! I'm DestructoSheep nice to meet you, oh but you can call me MC" you said as you reached his hand for a handshake

"I-uhhh I'm sorry I'm not used to touching, thats very normie-ish" he said as he averted his eyes

"My name is Leviathan, levi for short"

"I've always thought that the top player is always prideful and such but here he is being shy" you said as you chuckled

"H-hey! I'm still the best one in obey them mind you! I got every event cards at lvl 150 and skill lvl 10 and-"

"Yeah yeah I know" you said

After both of you received the merch, you both talked nonstop about obey them, other games, and anime

It was more like Levi bragging the amount of games and anime he played and watched

It was almost dusk till both of you notice the time

"Ah i got to go early, need to cook dinner. Chat me sometime!!!" you said as you gave him your contact details

Expect no sleep cuz both of you kept chatting till dawn

Satan:

He saw a kitty in a box in an alleyway near his apartment

Everyday, he often stops by to give the kitty enough food for the day

Is often disgusted by the fact that most people dump their pets in trash because they don't have anything to feed it

Saw you going to the alleyway

He suspected the worst and he thought that you were gonna harm the kitty he was feeding

"Hey don't harm-" he stopped

He saw you feeding the kitty

"Ah I assume you thought that I was gonna harm it?" you asked

"Well I thought the worst, humans are naturally scum anyways, but even so I do apologize"

"Ah it's alright, it's not a big deal anyways" you replied

"You come here often? I mean to feed the kitten that is" he asked

"You can say that, but not as often as you do" you said

"How did you know?did you perhaps-"

"Ah I happened to saw you feeding the kitten, I was just shy to approach you" you said

"Well I come to believe that people who are close to cats are not necessarily bad"

"I have to say I have to agree" you replied

"Ah I have to go, let's chat here again next time" you added

The alleyway became your meeting place to chitchat about cats

Asmodeus:

The famous M.A.D. Company released a new and limited edition Devil Set makeup and you were dying to get a hold of one

You spent a day looking at different stores but it was either unavailable or sold out. However, you were lucky to find another store that has one last stock.

You didn't notice someone else was also going to get it and so both of you grabbed the last set

"Uh... I'm sorry I have been looking this for the whole day, may I have it?" you politely asked

"Awww sweetie, I have been doing the same thing! Can you be a dear and let go of it?" the male with champagne-colored hair replied

Cue 1 hour of both of you saying "let go" or "it's mine"

"I have an idea! Let's just buy the set and divide it" you said

"Ohh! Good thinking! I will take the lippies, Devil shadow palette and the foundation!"

"That's literally EVERYTHING IN THE SET"

Cue two more hours of bickering.

Both of you didn't notice someone took it while the two of you are bickering

You noticed that it was gone

"Um... Someone already bought it while you two were... fighting" the saleslady explained

Both of you left the store empty handed and sad and you decided to break the atmosphere

"Pffft I'm sorry for fighting because of a Makeup set, btw my name is MC" you said

"I'm also sorry dear, although I wanted it I still didn't get it. I even missed my appointment to the salon!"

"And my name is Asmodeus, perfect name for a perfect being!" Asmo added

"Alright Mr 'Perfect' " you rolled your eyes

Let's just say that both of you talked about makeups on your way home.

Beelzebub:

Beel is your classmate during Physical Education class at college

Is a famous football player in your campus and he is also known for his handsomeness

His practice hours were often morning to late lunch and late lunch til dusk

During late lunch you saw him in the cashier by the cafeteria, asking if they still have cheeseburger available

But to his dismay, the cashier said "I'm sorry you already bought the last cheeseburger, and that's the last quota for the day"

He seemed sad and still hungry

You still have a cheeseburger to eat, but when you saw the time you knew you weren't gonna make it on your next class

When no one was looking, you decided to approach Beel and gave him your cheeseburger

"Are you giving this to me?"

"Yeah, I was going to eat it but I don't have much time for my next class" you replied

"Thanks, I owe you one"

You saw how happy he was when he got the cheeseburger

You were shocked how fast he ate it

Did he like inhale it or something

After your class, you noticed that he texted you saying "Thanks for the cheeseburger, I'll repay you next time you get hungry"

Let's just say you both got closer after that

Belphie:

It's your first day of online class, and your first subject has a 4 hour lecture

You forgot to disconnect your meeting link and you didn't notice until you were about to do homework

As you were about to disconnect, you saw that you weren't alone and you're classmate is still connected

You didnt want to leave him so you tried your best for your classmate to notice you. You tried spamming and saying " hello"

After 1234 attempts he finally noticed you

"Ah I'm sorry I slept during the boring lecture, thanks for waking me up"

"Ah it's no problem" you replied

"My name is Belphegor as you can see, but you can call me Belphie"

"My name is MC" you replied

"Say... How are you still here after hours after the lecture?"

"I forgot to disconnect" you replied

"Uh idk if this is too much of a favor to ask, can you wake me up again next time? After lecture that is, I don't want to be late for other classes"

"Sure, I don't mind I guess" you replied

After that, both of you got to know each other and you forgot to do your homework and you became a personal alarm clock

[undoundue]

i don’t know anything except how stories go

i don’t know anything except how stories go

the music isn't as good as i thought it would be

i'm not sure if i've taken enough drugs or too much

when i take too much, i get grandiose: big ideas. little follow-through.

when i take not enough, i also get grandiose, but i know it,

and i sound like a graveyard glass harmonica when

the wind passes through. when i take the right amount, i do not ask

whether i've taken enough drugs or too much.

instead i hallucinate that i'm a cicada, an elegant disgusting jewel

smithed by mommy nature to reproduce a tinny song,

and i'm grateful to my parents

and the 17 years i spent gestating

and this morbid cherry tree

because nobody buckles their tymbals like i. also, cicadas lack

the relevant receptors altogether,

so the dosing question doesn't apply.

(beat) say,

have you noticed that zoomers are really into columbo?

(you nod)

i've seen him on twitter twice lately, asking "just one more

question—which would you prefer as an afternoon snack?"

and there's a poll, cheez-its

or little debbie snack cakes.

the appeal, i think, is to a generational forgetfulness, to

a generation most in need of alarm clocks and aricept,

to the desire to see forgetfulness as a superpower, as an

equivalent to innocence, to be so impervious to

reality's demands. but haven't we been here

before? didn't milennials all die for the sin of inventing "retro

gaming"? and by the way,

did you hear the one about the guy who gave himself three-hundred

and ninety-one concussions, each time suffering retrograde amnesia

which knocked out his memory of his last pokemon red playthrough?

ah. ah yes. it is not a tale the jedi would tell you.

when i take too much, i get despondent. when i take not enough, i

get grandiose. but the line breaks are for the poet's benefit anyway.

besides, there are kids smoking brick weed in lebanon, we should be

thankful for what we have.

and hex maniac is pretty cute. her pupils spiral

counterclockwise,

going from out to in; in some of the fan art they go the other way but

you can tell those guys don't "get it"; the allure of a counterclockwise

spin on how you are perceived, to have your silhouette distorted

and your details properly misunderstood, to lose at games you've

never heard of it, to eat with chopsticks incorrectly,

to trip and fall and look at the sidewalk and say "thank you.

yes. i had grown complacent in my patterns, my

nucleus accumbens

was running on fumes; and i certainly wasn't expecting that!" and

mean it. i did this once. i was in a state of rare tranquility after

masturbating for sixteen consecutive hours (essentially a

performance enhancing drug for meditation—which is why,

in the tibetan olympics, strict no-fap is required for a week

before competition—and they take semen samples to be sure!)

so (you nod), when the buddha saw me

so grateful for life's misfortunes, he made a "look

at this fucking guy" gesture to ganesh and then said "look at this

fucking guy" as if the gesture wasn't enough. naturally,

i was offended, and besides i recalled the old koan "If you meet the

Buddha on the road, kill him," which i had read in a collection

of koans for children titled "If you meet the Buddha..." which

my Mom had purchased for me in the novelty gift section

of an urban outfitters in santa barbara ("Mom, why are you shopping

at urban outftters?" "son, yr mama just tryin' ta stay cool. say, you

heard of this MF DOOM cat?" "ugh! Mom!") and which had

such thought-provoking aphorisms as:

"If you meet the Buddha in an airport, buy him a cheeseburger."

"If you meet the Buddha at a dive bar, play him some new wave—the

Buddha is big into that shit." the idea being, you're prepared for any

circumstance, which is what buddhism is all about. so i did a

bunch of fast attacks; the buddha blocked; i said "shouldn't

it be all the same to you if i kill you?" the buddha said "it would,

except i want to get home and watch columbo, and i don't

want to wait to respawn." i said, "jesus. just—jesus." then the buddha

kicked me through a brick wall. everyone in the WeWork

screamed and fled, leaving their kombucha behind, and

for some reason the sprinklers went off. then, after the initial

impact, a lone brick fell (because of torque—force times the length of

the lever, remember) and hit me comically on the head, causing a

concussion. i said "guh."

yup, (you nod sympathetically),

i was feeling mighty grim. then it occurred to me: why don't i

play pokémon red? unfortunately, on my cellphone i only had

the romhack version, you know, where all the pokémon are allegories

for depression. so you got your depressionmander, depressioneleon,

depressionizard, and for pokémon where that doesn't work

they use it as a suffix, e.g. bulbadepression, ivydepression,

venudepression. also you can't leave the starting room and

your character moves really slowly. the indie gaming press

loves it. one of the features that reviewers single out is

that, instead of a lone Stand By Me reference, the TV in your room

goes line by line through Aguirre, the Wrath of God, except the

murders are replaced with pokémon battles and at the end

aguirre tries to command a horde of mankeys ("depressionkeys"),

which is a metaphor. dark stuff. it makes me think back on my youth:

lying on my child-king sized bed, masturbating to polyhedral

stellations, suffering from severe geometric dysmorphia as i

compared myself to the grandeur of those idealized forms—god, i

used to hate myself for those wasted hours. i mean, i still do, but i

used to, too. only after years of therapy have i developed a mantra

that eases the pain:

"i am mostly a cylinder.

i am mostly a cylinder." presto. you can get off to anything, even

loomis.

(you nod, hesitantly.) on saturday night,

i throw open the window and scream at the children: "you'll get old

too! an abstractome of brittle opinions even as your bumbling

homunculus drops the data you once used to back them up!"

the children reply "not necessarily, given the rate of advances in

biotech. also, no one cares, grandpa." they play soccer. my

mad pilgrim hair blows in the wind. i scream: "suffer! suffer! i am

omniscience!" they say: "oh yeah? how many fingers am i

holding up?" "four! five! four!" "it was five, you old fart." "the thumb

doesn't count as a finger! you should have a specified!" "OK, new

game: what sort of person am i?" "you are—you are—!" and so

i peer into their souls and know the answer, but i can't

find the words. the words do not come. i have forgotten them.

silently i draw away from the window. the children smirk, but only for

a moment. for they know i am right.

ah, to reveal the soul's heist, to be seen through by the omniscient

and powerless, what a delight! who among us would not cheerfully

kill the buddha when he's comin' through the rye? who among us

has not been blessed by the kind words of a stranger? and yet, we

shouldn't incentivize people to be strangers. society would collapse.

besides, we are no longer strangers to ourselves, you and i.

(you nod.) we will have much to discuss about that.

[timeforafuckingcrusade4]

Obey me lads as iconic quotes (British edition)

Lucifer

"Robert get your fucking breath away its minging" Probably aimed at Mammon alternatively the Disgustang video.

Mammon

"My head does NOT look like a SODDING TIK TAC" new headcannon that the brothers say Mammon has a tik tac head

Levi

"Please everyone share this, me parrots just flown away shes gone! CHANELLLLL! Her names Chanel. She's gone towards the canal please everyone please!" This was definitely Levi when he lost Henry 1.0

Satan

"The BBC are also now embracing this, I apologise for my cats tail." Come on that ones obvious.

Asmo

"I just wanna say one important thing here, I've been treated like an outcast today in this studio. I was put, not in the green room, with all of you. I was dumped outside and I'm gonna say one thing. I'm gonna show you my balls"

"IM CLAUSTROPHOBIC DAREN!!!!"

I couldn't decide between the two

Beel

"Let's see what this tastes like" *puts whisk in mouth*

"Cheeseburger and chips, three pound proper nice and proper bargain as well"

Belphie

"Do you not lose loads of weight because most of your shit comes out the front?" Probably said this to Lucifer or Diavolo at one point

"You're joking. Not another one." Yeah he definitely said this about Lucifer telling him about the exchange students

Diavolo

"When you're from the street theres a term called grass, that you can't do, no man is respected if they're a grass. I'm from the streets so I know" come on he just wants to fit in.

Barbatos

"You won, Jane. Enjoy the money, I hope it makes you happy. Dear lord, what a sad little life, Jane. You ruined my night completely so you could have the money, but I hope you spend it on getting some lessons in grace and decorum because you have all the grace of a reversing dump truck without any tires on. So, Jane, take your money and get off my property."

Simeon

"Great Supine Protoplasmic invertebrate jellies" this is definitely how he avoids swearing in front of Luke

Luke

"Miss can I just tell her? I'm sorry to hear your grandma passed away. I actually am sorry and I am upset about it yeah, but the thing is no one can force me to be mates with you and I don't wanna be mates with you alright?" Definitely Luke to the brothers about Lilith.

Solomon

"Started making it, had a breakdown, bon appetite."

"Never before have I been so offended by something I one hundred percent agree with."

Solomon is now James Acaster I do not take criticism.

[mcd-ms-rants]

sorry this was delayed!! something happened irl

i actually had to rewatch certain scenes of s3 bcuz my brain blocked them due to trauma

anyways enjoy

STUFF I DIDNT LIKE ABOUT MYSTREET SEASON 3:

• ok first why does half the cast mentally regress into children?? This is extremely evident with Aphmau and Zane. Aphmau turns into a LITERAL CHILD and Zane becomes some angsty emo bratty teen. the only people who are not children are laurance lucinda katelyn and to some extent garroth

• oh wow zianna carrying the whole season on her back offering THE ENTIRE DAMN STREET. wow the Ro’meaves really care about their friends. If the Ro’meaves have so much money why do they even send their kids to pdh why can’t they go to O’Khasis prep they’re literally drowning in cash I was just ranting about this on another blog :)

• i get it this is a slice of life kinda season and it’s mainly centered around comedy but can we still see a bit of character building here like people like Dante and kc and Zane and like three fourth of the cast are severely lacking

• where do Dante and Travis even work?? I know that huge two story house isn’t cheap how do they make all that cash. Can we know what their jobs are since they don’t work at the maid cafe

• I REALLY don’t like that Zane is pretty much only shown with ponies here throughout this season. I’ve said this so many times now. HE HAS MORE CHARACTER THAN THAT. You CANNOT seriously tell me that the defining point of his character is ponies and mlh

• in the series before s3 (I think it was called the bigger move??) we get to see zianna talk about the Ro’meave family business and how Zane has always been more inclined towards it. It would’ve been nice to see it expanded on a bit more in this season considering it’s a huge company and garroth is (probably) set to inherit it and probably needs to like attend meetings or something as practice. and cue the brother angst

• is it really ok for Lucinda to constantly teleport inside people’s houses isn’t that kinda trespassing (I’ll make a post on the magic system here later!!)

• The sk’s are the ONLY people who have their shit together they have like the only decent character development arc. Gene shouldn’t have had a crush on Aphmau after all this time tho. That kinda ruins it

• WHY IS GARRANCE QUEERBAIT

• no seriously why

• WHERE IS VYLAD where did he go

• so many characters like Nicole, kenmur and Emmalyn are never seen again this is sad

• I don’t like how Aaron and Aphmau pretty much stop developing as individual characters and start developing as aarmau from this season. am I the only one who feels this way??

• not that important but

• some of the proportions for the items were WAY off. those cheeseburgers are literally the size of Aphmau‘s head and some objects are bigger (idk if this was intentional)

• why will Zane literally obey Aphmau like she’s god (which she technically is but he doesn’t know that yet) I get it their friends but let him have a bit of a backbone

• ok NO HATE TO THE VA but what is Ivan’s voice. once again no hate. but seriously

• why is every side character so generic looking?? the main cast have so many mods and add ons but they need it more DESPERATELY

• I mean just LOOK at the two dudes next to Ivan

• would it really have taken that long to at least make them not so generic

• also why do those two dudes next to Ivan like never speak why’s he got two mute dudes following him like he’s the boss

• show the sk’s more you cowards

• SHOW THEM

• yay Gene :) Gene hugging Dante is one of the best moments in this season HANDS DOWN

• once again kc’s character gets tossed aside. we don’t really learn anything new about her this season aside from the fact that she cannot be serious but we already knew that. it’s been three seasons and we pretty much know the same things we did in s1

• also can we know a bit more about some of these characters in general? Like Dante, Travis, kc and Zane. hobbies and interests?? Things unique to them?? some of these characters still don’t have many unique traits and they need them

• aarmau breakup was literally because ivan splashed a cat potion in the maid cafe and Aphmau (somehow) asks Aaron if he did it. and bcuz Aaron saw a pic of Zane hugging Aph beforehand (which even friends can do) he got mad at the whole thing and just left. I’m sorry what was going on here. Did this really warrant going back to your parents house?? Reason seems stupid to me. also I don’t like how LITERALLY EVERYONE ELSE helps aph with her breakup since she’s in denial but what does she do?? Like nothing. girl pls. After the moms get involved it gets pretty straightforward. I mean they basically fetch him from his parents and bring him back. also wow Aaron’s parents SUCK. Cmon even ZANE got some development there you mean to tell me that the protag didn’t even DO ANYTHING. The person who was supposed to get the most development out of this breakup didn’t get any at all. then what was the point of a breakup if Aphmau didn’t learn anything from it??

ya so this is it that’s all that’s coming to me rn

once again sorry it’s kinda late stuffs been going on irl and I’m trying to deal with it

thanks for reading!! <3 <3

[jungshookz]

ok anyway build-a-bear employee!jin who meets y/n bc she comes in to make a new friend after a breakup and he teases her for being an adult by herself in the store and after she starts tEARING UP he’s like okok no!!!! and helps her make the cutest lil guy and records a cute message to put inside

➺ pairing; kim seokjin x reader

➺ genre; employee!jin, i brought you to build-a-bear so obviously this is going to be very floofy (sfw!!) 

➺ wordcount: 4k

➺ what to expect; “…turning twenty-two soon and you’re buying yourself a teddy bear?”

➺ note; when i told u guys that jin always gets the cutest drabble requests i wasn’t LYING!!! i have my own bear from build-a-bear named blu (he’s dark blue with white stars!! at the age of eight i was not very good at coming up with creative names) so obviously i had to write something for him and his homies

                                         »»————-　🧸————-««

jin has a love-hate relationship with his job

you would think that working at build-a-bear would be pretty fun - and it can be, sometimes! - but jin can confirm right here right now that it’s not aLL that great

on one hand, he loves the dramatics of build-a-bear because he’s given the chance to act like the whole store is whimsical and that the tiny little heart that he stuffs inside of the bear is full of magic and hope and happiness (he majored in acting in university so his degree is surprisingly very useful here)

but on the other hand… he works at build-a-bear.

this isn’t where he thought he’d be!!! not at all!!! 

he’s basically almost thirty and he works at a frickin build-a-bear

this wasn’t part of his plan!!!

his plan was to graduate from university, get famous from acting in a small commercial because of his devilishly handsome face, and then immediately get signed onto some fancy hollywood acting deal and become internationally known

but, no!

he graduated from university, didn’t get any roles in any small commercials, and had to find a way to make money so had no choice but to find work at his local mall

and to make things worse, his boss is literally five years younger than him

he has this bratty little twenty-two year old constantly up his ass and he haTES it

“you forgot the whipped cream on my frappuccino.” jungkook looks up at jin from where he’s sitting behind the counter before raising his drink, “am i blind or are you just bad at listening to instructions? where is the whipped cream, seokjin? WHERE?”

jin clenches his jaw before leaning forward, “they were busy, i guess they just forgot. and i’m not your slave. i only got you that drink so you’d give me a day off tomorrow.”

“well, since there’s no whipped cream on it, you don’t get a day off.” jungkook kisses his teeth before shrugging

“wha-“ jin resists the urge to reach down and wrap his hands around jungkook’s neck, “are you kidding me right now?? i spent forty-five minutes out of my fifty minute lunch break lining up at starbucks to get that for you! forty-five minutes!!!”

“i don’t know what to tell you,” jungkook hums as he kicks his legs up onto the counter and leans back against his chair, “now get back to work. and remember to smile! after all, build-a-bear is where best friends are made-“

“the new slogan is ‘the most fun you’ll ever make’.” jin raises a brow, “you don’t even know our slogan! how did you become the manager?”

jungkook takes a slow sip of his drink while maintaining direct eye contact with jin

sChLuuUuRrRRRr

jesus christ

his life sucks

jin rolls his eyes before turning on his heel and heading back to the main area of the shop

today’s saturday, so the store is a little busier than it usually is - which is great, because jin works off commission and he thinks he’s pretty good at selling teddy bears

on his best day he managed to sell thirty-eight bears in one day

he also convinced most of the kids that their brand new furry friends needed new clothes and a personalised recorded message in place of the usual little red cloth heart

he doesn’t like looking at the parents whenever he’s egging their kids on to buy even more things because they always look at him like they’re going to kill him

anyways

he could’ve ordered like forty frappuccino’s from the money he made on that day

before he left for lunch today he sold eight which really isn’t that impressive

but, to be fair, the mall usually gets busy after lunch, so now is the prime time to make some sales

jin lets out a breath as he scans the store for any newcomers or anyone who’s noT already being bombarded by his co-workers

he can’t help but snicker to himself when he notices yoongi at the stuffing station conducting a heart ceremony

“-and now you can go ahead and give your heart a little kiss-“

he looks up for a split second and jin takes the chance to blows a sweet little kiss at him

he snorts to himself when yoongi’s eye twitches

yoongi hates giving heart ceremonies but he’s actually pretty good at it!

he’s good with children whether he wants to admit it or not

alright, enough making fun of yoongi >:-)

time to hunt down a new customer…

jin sucks his bottom lip into his mouth as he walks around the store slowly

ooh, a little boy and his family just walked i- aaand they’ve been swept up by jimin

okay, no problem!

how about those twin gir- nope, too late, taehyung’s approaching them

damn

that would’ve been a good sale, too

it’s fine

he’ll get someone!

oh, wow

build-a-bear has really upped their game since the last time you were here

to be fair, the last time you were here was like more than ten years ago, so you’d hope that they make some changes to the store

…are those star wars themed teddy bears??

that is most definitely a princess leia teddy bear

and she even gets her own little light sabre!

wow

this is a whole new world

“excuse me, sorry…” you manoeuvre your way through the crowd as you continue looking through your options

is it weird that you’re in here by yourself?

the thought of trailing behind a random child in order to blend in with everyone else crosses your mind for a split second

although… a grown woman creeping behind a child they don’t know probably isn’t going to sound good to the judge when you’re standing in court, so maybe you shouldn’t do that

okay

you know what

it’s fine

it’s totally fine that you’re in here by yourself!

stuffed plushies are for people of all ages!!

it’s not just a kiddie thing

you’re FINE

and you have a perfectly legitimate reason to be in here

the only reason why you’re even in here is because…

well, the short and sweet version is that you got dumped two weeks ago.

which means that you’ve been cooped up in your apartment for the last fourteen days

which means your bedroom was starting to smell a little ripe so you thought it’d be good to air out the place and give your poor bed a break  

(also, please, for the love of god, remember to wash your sheets when you get back home later today.)

anyways

you thought that a trip to the mall for some retail therapy would make you feel better!

so far you’ve only been the food court but you helped yourself to a cheeseburger, some onion rings, and a vanilla milkshake

food always makes you feel better

you could honestly go for another round of onion rings right now

there’s nothing quite like the pain of having your heart broken nudge you towards the direction of binge-eating the pain away, is there?

you were about to head into a victoria’s secret to splurge on pretty panties (that no one but yourself will be seeing for a long time) but this build-a-bear caught your eye

a cuddle buddy you could ugly-cry into for the simple price of $35?

obviOUSLY you had to come in

the only issue now is that there are way too many options to choose from

who do you want to take home??

pawlette the bunny?

toothless from how to train your dragon?

you could even take pikachu home if you wanted to

“timeless teddy…” you mutter to yourself as you dig out a teddy bear skin (also, it’s very unsettling that they’re called ‘skins’. like, you know that’s what they technically are, but the phrase ‘i’ve picked out my skin!’ just makes your skin crawl.)

you lean forward a little to read the label on the wall

teddy bears are a timeless way to share love with every hug! timeless teddy is a classic teddy bear with shaggy brown fur and an adorable smile. personalize this classic teddy bear with outfits, sounds and accessories for a huggable gift they'll cherish forever!

hm

perfect!

a classic teddy bear sounds perfect

there’s nothing wrong with going back to basics

also, you’re assuming the ‘they’ll’ they’re referring to here is a child

…

nO

you are doing this

you will buy this teddy bear!

your other option was to go and adopt a cat from the shelter but you can barely take care of yourself right now so that wouldn’t be a good idea

“hello!” you jump three feet into the air when you’re suddenly being greeted by one of the bright-eyed workers, “can i help you find anything?”

you turn around quickly while clutching your teddy’s skin (gag) to your chest with wide eyes, “h-hello!”

oh

hello indeed

you feel your heart drop a little when you realise that you probably look disgusting right now

you weren’t expecting to bump into a veRY attractive super handsome boy today!!!

very attractive super handsome boy with sweet brown eyes and soft-looking hair and the poutiest lips you think you’ve ever seen in your entire life-

thank god you decided to wear the sweatshirt that doesn’t have any stains on it, right?

the one thing you remember from your previous build a bear experience (once again, 10+ years ago) is that the workers here are usually overly perky sixteen year old girls

this guy is not an overly perky sixteen year old girl

well

maybe he’s the perky part

but everything else??

wowie

he smiles brightly at you before tilting his head, “hello. i’m jin!” he points at his name tag, “i’d love to help you out today. were you looking for anything in particular?”

“hi! hello, jin. i’m, um, i’m y/n. i was, uh-“ you clear your throat, “i was actually just browsing, so…”

“oh, perfect!” jin claps his hands together, “let me tell you all about our collections. there’s the summer fun collection, the rainbow friends, the promise pets, the heartables, the classic build-a-bear collection-“

yeah okay

he’s definitely nailed the perky part of the job

“-DC comics, dr. suess, marvel, my little pony, how to train your drag-“

“you know, i-“ you smile sheepishly after interrupting jin, “thank you so much, but i’ve actually already made my decision, if that’s alright.” you hold your teddy’s limp, hollow carcass up before pressing your lips together

“of course that’s alright!” jin takes the skin from you before shrugging lightly, “i figured i’d just let you know of all the other options in case your younger sibling wanted something more extravagant than just our timeless teddy. follow me to the sound station!”

you don’t get a chance to say anything before jin spins around swiftly to head to the back of the store

he thinks this bear is for your younger sibling

okay, you can work with that!

you can pretend like you’re in here for your non-existent younger sibling and certainly not for yourself

“you can choose a pre-made sound from here,” jin gestures to the bins of plastic hearts (there’s a sound option for an ‘into the unknown’ snippet from frozen 2 which is insane), “or we can go ahead and record a personalised message. what’s your sibling’s name?”

you look up at him immediately

“wha- um, why… why do you need to know my sibling’s name?”

“oh! i was just asking so i could give you an example.” jin hums as he tosses the skin over his shoulder and places his hands on his hips, “like, you could say, hey there… sibling’s name, it’s me, your big sister! i love you! or something like that.”

“ah, right!” you nod to yourself, “that makes sense! my sibling’s name is totally normal information that i have no problem giving to you.”

jin raises a brow when he notices you continuing to ramble about how your sibling’s name is something that you will be telling him soon because you definitely know the name of your younger sibling whomst’ve this bear is for

hm

you’re cute but you’re a little odd

“-my younger sibling’s name is… paulette!” you catch a glimpse of a pink pawlette bunny being stuffed before looking back over at jin, “yep. that’s her name. sweet, sweet paulette. sweet little angel.”

“hey, our iconic bunny is named pawlette!” jin beams, “wouldn’t you want to get paulette her own pawlette? instead of a bear?”

the smile immediately drops from your face

oh god

you’ve never been very good at lying

one time in middle school when you wanted to get out of PE you told the teacher that you were in pain and that’s why you couldn’t do anything on that day

and when he asked you what hurt, all you said was ‘…bleeding out of my butt?’

you don’t even know why you said that!!

you could’ve told him you had a headache or something but nO

you told your teacher your asshole was BLEEDING and that’s why you couldn’t participate in baseball

so yeah

lying has never been your forte

but you don’t want pawlette!!

you want this bear!!!

although, it would make sense to get paulette her own pawlette because that’d be an adorable coincidence…

what are you-

what are you even sAYING

PAULETTE DOES NOT EXIST

“okay, you got me!” you raise your hands in defence and jin’s eyes widen in surprise, “paulette isn’t a real person. i don’t have a younger sibling. i’m in here for me. the bear is for me. the timeless teddy is mine.”

“oh…!” jin purses his lips before nodding slowly, “alright! totally get it. the bear is for you.”

why has everyone he’s ever been attracted to turned out to be a little cuckoo?

the expected demographic of build-a-bear are children aged 3-10 (a child aged below three isn’t interested in stuffed teddies because they don’t really do anything but sit there and a child aged over ten isn’t interested in stuffed teddies because… they don’t really do anything but sit there.)

and you… well, unless you’ve experienced some kind of insane growth spurt, you certainly don’t look like someone aged 3-10 years old

“phew! it feels good getting that off my chest.” you breathe out as you lean over and place your hands on your knees, “there was a lot of pressure there to keep lying to you but-“

“how, um, how old are you, by the way?”

jin doesn’t mean to sound like a judgy bitch

he’s just genuinely curious as to why a 21-23 year old would willingly go into a physical build-a-bear store to buy themselves a stuffed plushie

you could’ve purchased one off the online website

also, aren’t there better things to spend your money on?

like… literally anything besides a stuffed plushie??

“turning twenty-two soon!” you get back up onto your feet, “why do you ask?”

“…turning twenty-two soon and you’re buying yourself a teddy bear?” jin snorts before raising a brow, “i mean, really? didn’t you graduate this year?”

“ah, well…” you reach up to scratch the back of your neck as you feel the tips of your ears beginning to heat up, “i mean, yeah, but like…”

“i’m not judging! some people go on grad trips to party and get wasted after they graduate, and other people go to the mall to build themselves a $35 teddy bear-“ jin laughs to himself before turning around to plop the skin down on little counter attached to the stuffing machine, “anyways, were you thinking about choosing a sound or recording something?”

he spins back around and his eyes widen when he notices that your eyes have gotten red and are starting to water

oh

uh oh

what’s going on?

what’s happening??

are you…

are you crying??

why are you crying??

he was totally kidding!!!

that wasn’t supposed to be mean!!

that was supposed to be playful banter!!!

“oh- oh, god no- wait-“ jin immediately walks over so that he’s standing in front of you and jungkook won’T be able to see that he just upset a customer, “don’t cry!! i was kidding!! i have, like, ten plushies on my bed! i’m twenty-seven and i work at a build-a-bear, if anything, i should be the one crying-”

“i just-“ you reach up to wipe at your eyes as you begin to blubber, “my boyfriend of one year b-broke up with me two weeks ago and i- i just th-thought that a teddy bear would make good company because god knows i’m not in the right mental state to be taking care of a real animal-!”

jin winces when you let out a particularly loud sob and he quickly drags you over so that the two of you are behind the stuffing machine and out of sighT from everyone

crap

he doesn’t even have any tissues on him!!!!

maybe he can pull some fluff out from the machine and you can dab at your tears with that

actually, the cotton might stick to your cheeks if you try wiping your tears away with a fistful of stuffing, so maybe not

“i-i know it’s stupid and humiliating for a grown-up to be in here buying a stupid teddy bear for herself but there’s so much in my life that’s just out of my control right now a-and making this teddy bear seemed like the only thing i could control and i just-“

“y-yes, of course!” jin pulls you into a tight hug (your sobbing is getting a little loud and people are starting to notice so this is the only way he can think to muffle your crying) and strokes the back of your head comfortingly, “i’m so sorry, i had no idea! that makes total sense, of course you can get this teddy bear for yourself…”

he continues to hold you until your sobs reduce to little hiccups and gives a warning look when yoongi mouths whether or not they should call mall security on your ass

when you pull away your eyes are a little puffy and the tip of your nose is red

if jungkook asks, maybe jin can get away with saying that your allergies acted up in the middle of the store

you don’t look like that because he made you burst into tears

not at all!!

“how about we… record a special message for your new friend?” jin digs through the tub to pull out an electronic heart

“i-“ you hiccup, “i don’t really h-have anything i want to say…”

jin purses his lips in thought

hm

stuffing the bear with a heartbeat heart seems way too basic

this is an important bear!

ah!

“why don’t you let me take care of it, okay?” he reaches over and rubs your shoulder gently, “you wait here and i’ll take care of everything. for his stuffing, would you like a soft cuddle bear or a plump one?”

your bottom lip starts to quiver again and you let out a light laugh, “a soft cuddle bear sounds really sweet.”

“then a soft cuddle bear it is.”

“and this is for you.” jin hands you the box over the counter and you take it from him with a grin, “thank you for your purchase! and… sorry about making you cry-“

“oh, god no-“ you snort, “i’m sorry for bursting into tears and loading all of that on you-“

“it’s totally fine!” jin shakes his head, “you’re definitely not the first person to start crying in a build-a-bear, so there’s absolutely nothing to feel bad about.”

“right! right, of course.” you nod and press your lips together, “anyways, thanks for helping me out today, jin.”

“of course! it was a pleasure.” jin clears his throat

it’s pretty clear that the two of you want to continue talking to each other, but…

jin doesn’t usually practice his flirting skills when he’s at build-a-bear, so pardon him for being a little rusty

“so… see you around!” you chirp, “i’m just gonna-“

“wait, uh-“ jin wipes his hands down on the back of his pants, “i… i don’t know if maybe this is a little too soon for you or… and it’s totally fine if you don’t want to, but… maybe i can treat you to an apology corndog or something sometime? i don’t know. this mall doesn’t really offer fine dining, so a corndog is really all i can-“

“yeah, i would love that!” you nod enthusiastically, “an apology corndog with you sounds great. i mean, a regular corndog would be fine too, but- d-do you… want my number?”

also

this isn’t you rebounding or anything

this is the first time in two weeks where your mind hasn’t been clouded with thoughts of your ex-boyfriend

this is the first time in two weeks that you’re actually happy

jin seems genuinely sweet and you wouldn’t mind getting to know him :-))

also you’re glad that hE was the one who asked

because if you were the one who asked, it’d probably make you look that much more pathetic

and you’ve already made a fool of yourself once today!!  

you sigh happily as you slam the car door shut

you’re about to shove the key into the ignition when suddenly you remember that your bear has a personalised message inside of him

“oh, right!” you reach over to open up the cardboard house that he’s been shoVed into

!!!

you wonder what soundbyte jin picked out for you!!!

you pull him out and smile fondly at the sight of his chubby arms dangling over your hands

cute :-))

this was money well spent for sure

okay, now how do you activate the sound…

there’s a bit of squeezing and poking but you manage to find the little heart inside of him

you perk up when you hear a muffled crackle

“hi, y/n! it’s me, your furry friend… uh… jin bear! if you’re listening to this, it probably means you’re super sad… cry into my stomach to muffle the sound of your violent sobs! …oh, god, probably shouldn’t have said that- anyways, um, i hope you feel better soon! and remember to give me plenty of cuddles - i promise it’ll make you feel better!”

hA

that was actually a pretty good message

(you hope jin texts u soon)

“okay, jin bear.” you murmur quietly as you buckle him into the passenger seat, “time to take you home.”

help me help you make your wishes come tru (aka send me a request)

requested drabbles masterlist

[radiowallet]

Cat! For your DVD commentary, I had to go and find a passage from that early Mechie date I love so much:

Dinner is a tiny hole in the wall burger place and you are overjoyed.  It is difficult for you to overstate your love of burgers and fries.  Marcus goes to the window to order while you snag an empty table, turning your head towards the sky, the sun still high enough to provide some late afternoon warmth before you turn and take a minute to admire your dining partner unabashedly.  On the drive over he had slipped his tie off, his fingers nimble as they loosened the simple square knot.  He rolled his sleeves up to his elbows, echoing his outfit from Saturday night.  Once exposed you couldn’t help but reach out and touch the newly exposed skin, your fingers brushing along the vein tracing his forearm as you give one, two quick squeezes.

I know you write a lot about Sarah's thoughts as things are happening in pwc but could you expand on what was going through both of their heads during this time? They've come so far 🥺

MAIA! You went WAY back. Chapter 5 back!

I love this paragraph you picked out because I was saying a lot with actions AND I was laying out a bit of groundwork for the future.

The choice of restaurant was intentional. The first date had been fancy- nice white table cloths and wine- but this date, this is more of who Marcus is, this is a place he admits to frequenting, with his daughter, and he wanted to share that with Techie on the second date. This is him sharing a piece of himself very early on, and it just so happens our girl is all about some fucking cheeseburgers.

The car ride also had the great little moment of Techie watching Marcus basically strip away "Heroics Marcus." He loosens the tie, he rolls up his sleeves. It was like she was watching him take off his uniform, and signified to her how comfortable he truly felt already. And so, of course, she can't help herself, she has to reach out and touch. (Honestly, same girl).

BUT- for Marcus, those little movements are his nervous energy. On his side of the car he's anxious. He likes this girl. He likes her a lot, and even though it's only the second date and they've only kissed once he knows this is something special, and he doesn't want to mess this up. So he tugs at his tie and fiddles with his sleeves at the stop lights, because if he doesn't keep his hands busy he's pretty sure he'll slam on the breaks and pull Techie right into a searing kiss heedless of the traffic moving around him.

The other thing that I mentioned specifically in this paragraph was the weather. I do that a lot, one because how I am moving this story forward. Weather can be a great way to showcase the passage of time. But weather can also be a great way to mirror things in a story- temperature, the elements, rain, sunshine, snow....they all make really great metaphors, don't you think???