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therenlover · 4 years ago

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Orestes Fasting and Pylades Drunk (A Young Revolutionary!Zemo x Non-Binary Reader Oneshot)

(a/n: so, in honor of barricade day, have this young revolutionary!Zemo fic, which is basically just canon Enjoltaire dynamics but with a Zemo/reader twist on it, because that dynamic is literally my whole heart. Consider this a weird twisted Les Mis au if you want to, but you don’t need to know the book or musical to enjoy this, if it can be enjoyed...)

Synopsis: Helmut recalls the story of how he came to be the ruthless man he is and, more specifically, how he came into possession of his strange purple mask.

Tags: Canon Compliant, Angst, Young!Zemo, Non-Binary!Reader, Death, Enemies to Friends With Benefits to Lovers????, Implied Sexual Content, Friendship, Pining, Revolution, Speedrunning A Slow Burn

Rating: M (+16)

Warnings: Major Character Death, Implied Sexual Content, Gun Violence, Drinking, Minor Homophobia/Transphobia (it’s one sentence near the end and it’s very vague coming from Heinrich), Swearing, Survivor’s Guilt, Really Just Death Everywhere

Word Count: 10,200~

“What’s with the mask?”

The question was innocent enough.

Sam posed it while lounging on the expensive couch of Zemo’s Riga apartment, head tilted back and eyes closed in silent contemplation.

Bucky remained silent as Zemo glanced over from his place at the counter. Outside, the sun was long gone, giving way to a stunning moonrise over the city that poured through the stained glass windows and lit up the night with its glow. It was quiet, much quieter than things usually were between the trio. Still, things being quiet didn’t mean they weren’t tense.

Clenching his teeth, he took in a long breath through his nose. “I am unsure what you mean by that, Sam,”

“The mask,” Sam pushed, “you know, the one you wore during the fight in Madripoor. What’s the deal with that?”

“Ah yes. That mask,” As if on cue, Zemo took a long swig from his glass. It burned all the way down. He didn’t speak again, though, instead choosing to let his gaze fall on the elaborate tilework above his countertops, tracing the patterns with his eyes. Anything to divert himself from the thoughts that rushed back into his mind at the thought of the knit piece of cloth that sat firmly in his inner coat pocket.

Unfortunately for him, Sam wasn’t satisfied with letting the topic fizzle out. “Come on man,” he griped, rubbing a hand over his face, “we got you out of prison, so you owe us one. In fact, you owe us a lot. So, spill. What the hell is the deal with it? Were you Sokovian batman or something?”

That urged a dry laugh from the baron’s lips as he set his crystal glass on the counter with a little more force than was necessary. “Are you always so interested in your captives’ personal lives?”

“Usually,” Bucky chimed in dryly.

“I suppose I’m outnumbered,” Zemo sighed. The bile rising in his throat was easy enough to force down as he turned himself out on his stool to face the room. It wasn’t the right time for true weakness, not yet, but he couldn’t deny that painting himself in a desirable light and offering the pair honesty might give him the upper hand. So, he folded.

Slowly he retrieved the purple mask from his coat and turned it over in his hands. It still fit after all the years it had sat gathering dust in his storage unit which was a blessing in its own right. It still served its original purpose too. That mask had seen horrors beyond imagination, had been washed clean of blood more times than could be counted. Did it hold the memories of the things it had seen within its fabrics as Zemo did in his mind? Or was it as naive as he had been at the time of its creation? He let out a bitter laugh. That was a question they would have asked him.

As he exchanged his literal mask for one entirely emotional, Zemo leaned back on his stool and managed a smile. “How educated are you on Sokovian politics?”

Sam shut his eyes again, letting his head lol back once more. “I went to public school, so I don’t think I even knew Sokovia existed until it didn’t,”

“I know enough,” Bucky added. From his place leaning against the way, ever vigilant and ready to jump into an imagined battle, he turned to face Zemo and crossed his arms. “Hydra had fingers in the government there, more so than other places. There was a big power struggle in the ’90s when the king died, right? Because people wanted democracy, and they didn’t want the little shithead prince to take over,”

“Yes,” Zemo nodded, “My cousin Emil. I’m glad you’re familiar,”

A spluttered laugh escaped Sam’s lips as he shot up. “I know I shouldn’t be surprised by this stuff anymore, but damn,”

“He and I weren’t close,” Zemo waved his hand dismissively, and yet there was a strange sadness in his eyes. It wasn’t for his cousin, though. Not in the least. “But James was correct, there were riots in the streets when the king died. They were shut down quickly by the National Guard, though, who had more than a little help from Hydra’s favorite supersoldiers once they realized just how much power the citizens held. What street were you assigned to, James?”

Bucky sucked in his cheeks, eyes falling to the floor, but before Sam could butt in and defend him he had muttered an answer. “I cleared the barricade at 18th Avenue, the second largest. Those kids fought valiantly,”

Zemo hummed lowly. “And so they did,”

“Okay, what does any of this have to do with your stupid purple mask?” Sam exclaimed.

He was sitting up fully now, face turned to where Zemo had stood from his stool and begun to round the bar. His mask still sat in a small ball on the marble. It seemed to be a member of the conversation all its own, silent and sure, drawing all three men together as it weaved a story from the past into the present with its very presence.

“That mask served me well and hid my identity when I stood against the very men that were serving my family,” Zemo muttered, letting his fingers brush the fabric gently. The names of the lost sat heavy on his very soul even if they would never pass from his lips.

Hans, Andrei, Ivan, Vladimir, Anton, Lazlo, Nicholas, little Sebastian…

Y/N.

“I was young then, too young for my own good,” he said softly, “naive and hopeful and convinced that the world was able to change for the better if I simply willed it to be… so when I discovered the connection between my family and Hydra I packed up my things, emptied my bank account, and moved into a tiny apartment with another like-minded friend, Hans Perlitch,” a soft laugh escaped him, genuine and youthful and all too honest, “We preached to the hungry masses of a world free from the thumb of the elite and all the while we would return home to a heated apartment and a stocked pantry. Still, we were well-liked and gathered a bit of a following. That was when everything changed, the early fall of 1997…”

------------

“You know, for someone who claims to be as smart as you say you are, you’re quite a fool,”

The voice came from the back of the room, smoke still hanging thick in the air from the cigarettes shared by the masses of students that had packed the tiny repurposed stockroom of the bar while Helmut had given his speech for the week.

He didn’t give the interloper the dignity of his full attention as he gathered a few of his scattered notes from the table that served as his soapbox. Still, he was in a generally good mood. Almost double the usual students had shown up for the meeting and a few had even chimed in to ask questions, so he took a deep breath and resigned himself to the fact that rooting out one ignorant opposer now would mean less work in the long run. “I’ve never claimed to be smart, so I’m not quite sure what you’re referring to,”

A scoff came from the back of the room, but the person made no effort to come closer. “You can change your last name and present yourself as a member of the public all you want, but someday someone is gonna recognize that pretty face of yours, and your whole revolution is going to come crumbling to the ground,”

Now that was enough to make him pause.

“How did you-”

“How could I not?”

It was sardonic, biting and harsh in the worst of ways. Everything about the tone made Helmut’s blood boil beneath his skin. He was not one who enjoyed being threatened or outdone. Still, the play was out of his hands now, should this strange intruder choose to ruin him.

Biting his tongue, he finally turned to face them. “You have my attention, now what do you want?”

Across the room, the stranger remained unphased. They were relatively unremarkable, a bottle of cheap beer held firmly in their grip as they toasted to nothing and drank down the remaining dregs. With a smile and a chuckle, they propped their feet up on the small, round table before them. Something about that sight lit a fire in Helmut’s chest. He didn’t know who they were, or why he was there, but he was certain that he despised them already.

“I don’t want anything,” They replied, and with a certain grandness reserved for a gamin mocking the bourgeoisie, they flourished with their hands, letting their booted feet drop to the ground as they stood and bowed. “I’m just saying that if you’re trying to convince people that you’re not the missing baron while you’re pretending to be all impoverished and rallying us commoners, you might want to change more than your last name and your fashion sense,”

Helmut gritted his teeth. “So what? Did you come here just to rub my face in it, or are you going to help me make a change?”

That elicited a small snort from the stranger, but they did take the opportunity to traipse up to meet him at his table, leaning on the edge as they gazed up at him with a strange look in their eyes that he couldn’t quite identify. Their face was soft upon closer examination, alive and bright with a merriment that only came from intoxication. It made Helmut sneer involuntarily.

Licking their lips, they murmured, “Make a change? Is that what you think you’re doing?” and as they let a giggle escape their parted lips Helmut lost it.

He gasped them firmly by the front of their baggy sweater and dragged them in close. “At least I’m trying! What are you doing about it? Extorting the only person who might be able to actually make a change in this shithole of a country? That’s so much more helpful!”

Their faces were inches apart as Helmut spat his words like venom and yet the stranger never stopped smiling. It was almost dopey, the grin that made its way across their lips. Helmut couldn’t stand it.

“You know, baron,” they purred, setting down their empty bottle on the table beside them, “I like you. I might just stick around here for a little while, see what else about your little plan I can pick apart,”

Never in his life had Helmut been less thrilled for someone to join his cause.

“Why are you here anyway,” he groaned, releasing their shirt, “don’t you have something better to do with your Friday night than bother me?” and, as an extra jab, he added, “besides drinking yourself to death, of course,”

The jab didn’t land, though.

Taking it all in stride, the stranger simply grinned as if they too knew how badly they stank of cheap alcohol and was thrilled that someone had noticed. “Anton invited me. He said I should get out more, make some friends. It’s just a coincidence that I happened to recognize you while writing down an itemized list of all the things you got wrong while you grandstanded,” There was a pride in their words, a giddy energy burbling just beneath the surface of their skin, and suddenly it all made sense.

Anton was newer to their group, a poet and a free thinker, something hard to find in the slums of Novi Grad. Still, he lightened the impromptu meetings up with his smile and would often spend the hour scrawling away fervently in his notebook as he immortalized each and every word that was said “for posterity”. Helmut was sure that only someone as accepting as Anton would ever choose to spend their time with someone quite as insufferable as the person before him. Suddenly, and uncomfortably, he became aware that he didn’t even know their name.

Swallowing down a nasty barb, Helmut sighed and offered up his hand, which the stranger took after a moment of pause. “And you are?”

“Y/N,” They replied.

“Well, Y/N,” he spat their name from his mouth like a cherry pit, “I suppose I’ll have to get used to having a man like you-”

“Don’t call me that,”

Helmut cocked his head to the side. “Pardon?”

“Don’t call me a man,” Y/N replied, “and before you ask I don’t want to be called a woman either. I’m just… I’m just Y/N, at least for now I am, it’s not like I’d give a rich brat like you my legal name while we’re mixed up in all this illegal, halfway-treasonous nonsense you insist on spouting. Maybe next week I’ll be something completely different and new. Until I tell you otherwise, though, I’m just Y/N, your highness,”

“Do I dare dream that that means you might learn to respect my ideas?” Helmut sighed, scrubbing a hand down his face and choosing to ignore the sarcastic address in the hopes of letting such things fizzle and die without encouragement. Unfortunately, the goofy grin he got in return told him that was wishful thinking.

Suddenly, the door opened and Helmut jumped away from his newest tentative ally (if you could call them that) to find Hans standing in the doorway. At his side was Andrei, the third in command of their little posse and final member of the leading triumvirate. They seemed shocked at his lateness and he was quick to try to gather himself up lest they see him as undone as he had found himself while facing the smallest taste of Y/N’s antagonistic nature.

What had he even been doing when they interrupted him? It took him a moment to even gather himself together enough to remember. Scanning the room, his eyes fell on the papers

Oh yes, he had been gathering up his notes…

He was quick to finish the task as Y/N sauntered away towards the door, preparing to push past the two men who stood beyond it.

“You’re Anton’s friend, right?” Hans asked, back stiff. When Y/N nodded he did little more than give a noncommittal noise from the back of his throat. He had always been good with making things impersonal as he crunched the numbers and calculated probabilities. That was why Helmut liked him so much.

Andrei, on the other hand, provided a needed warmth to their leadership in his outreach.

He smiled warmly at Y/N and clapped a hand on their shoulder. “I hope we’ll be seeing more of you around,”

Y/N was quick to offer one of their signature grins before winking back at Helmut in a way that made his stomach turn. “Oh, you’ll be seeing plenty of me from now on,”

“We’re glad to have you,” Andrei replied as they passed.

Before they fully left, though, they turned one last time to shoot Helmut a final smile. “Till next Friday, fearless leader,”

Then, Y/N was gone, lost in the crowd of revelers beyond the small, smokey storeroom and, more importantly, beyond where Helmut’s eyes could follow. Somehow, despite everything, he missed having them there. He quickly chalked the feeling up to wanting to keep a close eye on people with the ability to thwart his best-laid plans and left it at that. Besides, he had no room in his heart for anything besides the betterment of Sokovia.

Attachments meant the possibility of other priorities, and other priorities got people killed. He couldn’t have that happening on his watch.

Thankfully, Hans snapped him out of his melancholy quickly. “Do you have everything sorted?”

Helmut gave a short nod before tapping the pile of papers against the table and setting out towards the door, abandoning his thoughts and feelings about his interaction with Y/N at the table as he exited the room and gathered himself once more into the man his friends needed him to be.

He could only hope that as long as he ignored Y/N’s jabs, they would soon grow tired and be gone within the month once they realized he was anything but afraid of their little games.

------------

Much to Helmut’s abject disappointment, Y/N did not, in fact, stop showing up.

They did quite the opposite.

Instead of leaving him well enough alone, they showed up to Helmut’s meetings every single Wednesday and Friday for months, always piss drunk and happy to jeer at him from the corner, shouting their unwanted opinions and throwing off every meeting with their nonsense.

It was as if they did it just to get on his nerves, and get on his nerves they did.

As the seasons changed, from spring, to winter, to fall, and, finally, to the very beginnings of summer, so did the types of jabs Y/N decided to throw.

In the beginning it was all business, comments on the idiocy of his plans for a protest based on common police routes or mocking jokes about his unending optimism when it came to fighting the national guard on a large scale, but as things began to get more and more serious on the path towards a full-fledged revolt, they seemed to aim more and more of their vitriol towards Helmut personally.

Sometimes it was a comment on his face or voice. “Ease up pretty boy,” they’d jeer, “keep talking like that and a guardsman might just do more than knock out a few of your perfect teeth,” Other times, which Helmut found infinitely worse, they’d throw a jab at his ability to lead them to victory. “The only thing that waits for us at the end of this is a painful death, especially if you’re not joking about those fucking super soldiers they supposedly have on ice,”

The worst part was that half the time, Y/N was right.

Helmut hated to admit it but it was true. More than once he had to go back and edit his plans to take into account a valid point thrown in by Y/N that he had never even considered. Hell, if it had been anyone else picking him to nothing he would have been grateful, but it wasn’t a well-meaning contributor trying to make the world a better place, it was a drunk who seemed to have one solitary life goal: making his life as miserable as possible. Perhaps that’s why they had devolved to frantic angry fucks behind crates of wine and massive cans of chocolate spread after the worst of their arguments…

Not that Helmut cared for them.

No, he didn’t do attachments. Neither did Y/N. They hated each other, after all.

It was just a way to release their tensions at the end of stressful meetings and nothing more. They were dealing with matters of life and death after all. It was only normal to seek comfort in the warmth of a companion, if he could even call Y/N a companion.

Whether he liked it or not, though, they were they to stay, even if they rarely made themself useful to the cause.

By early June, the drunkard had become close friends with all of the remaining students that still gathered at Helmut’s location for meetings instead of ending up at the offshoots that began to form once the group got too big to pile into the storeroom. Helmut loathed thinking about it, but Y/N was probably invited to more birthdays and Saturday night get-togethers than he ever was. There was something about their smile that drew people in. It made them feel wanted, welcome. Helmut hated that he never got those smiles from Y/N, only ever the mocking, blithe kind that they handed out freely to friends and enemies alike.

He didn’t have time to think about that, though. Not with so much fast approaching as the first pears began to hang from branches down in the royal orchards, soft and ripe and ready to be harvested. Their growth marked King Hugo’s daily weakening. His death could come any day, and when it did, Helmut knew he would need to strike quickly if he truly hoped to overturn the system before the coronation of his cousin. That meant every meeting, now more frequently held throughout the week, was filled to the brim with preparations and planning.

Well, preparations and planning and a healthy dose of Y/N and Helmut yelling at each other about nonsense across the room until Anton or Laszlo stepped in to pull Y/N down into their chair once more so the meeting could resume and they could all go home before things got too late and they were questioned in the street on why they were possibly out and about at such an hour.

Things were no different on that Friday meeting on June 4th.

“Is there anyone here who isn’t already passing out pamphlets in the dorms at NVU tonight?” Helmut asked the room, scanning for a hand that didn’t belong to his least favorite member of the group. Unfortunately, none came up. “Come one now, at least one of you has to be free,”

Y/N groaned. “It’s like you don’t even see my hand waving up here, oh great one,” There they went again with the ridiculous terms of address that made Helmut’s blood sizzle in his veins. He remained composed, though. At least, as composed as he could be given the situation.

“I’m ignoring you because I remember the last time I asked your drunk ass to pass out pamphlets. What round of dominos were you on by the time I showed up to check on you, five or six?”

The scalding remark was enough to get Y/N to sheepishly lower their hand, eyes downcast. It was getting easier and easier for Helmut to manage to shut them up the more frantic meetings got, and he couldn’t say he was displeased by that fact no matter why it was the way that it was. A quiet Y/N meant less chance for mistakes which meant fewer future casualties. Fewer casualties were good, it was what he strived for.

Thankfully for Helmut, a new hand came up.

It belonged to Vladimir, the oldest of the group by a year rounding out at an even 26 years old. He was dependable, definitely the kind who could be trusted to run an errand as important as the one Helmut needed to have done. The thought that Vladimir would be the one to pick up the shipment of smuggled guns was a relief. He made as much evident while explaining their next moves.

Throughout the remainder of the meeting, though, Helmut couldn’t help but feel watched. It didn’t last long, half an hour at most. Still, there was the creeping itch on the back of his neck that told him there were eyes on him that he wasn’t aware of. Only when the group was dismissed and the feeling didn’t go away did he realize exactly who was staring at him so intently.

“I hope you know I really did intend to hand out those pamphlets,” Y/N said once they were the last one remaining, the rest of the group having trickled out to get food and drinks before heading home for the night. It wasn’t unusual for Helmut and Y/N to be the last two remaining at the end of a meeting. That didn’t mean he was happy about it though.

So, instead of offering up an acknowledgment, he busied himself with plotting out a few potential spots to barricade the roads and hunker down when things got messy in highlighter on the large, laminated map of Novi Grad that had found its home on the big front table.

Y/N didn’t let up, though. They never did. “I know you don’t believe me, why would you, but I did. I just wanted to loosen them up before I started talking about overthrowing the damn government, which is a terrible plan, by the way. Have I told you that lately?”

“Only every time you see me,” Helmut sighed.

Somehow, that made Y/N smile, soft and sarcastic and all too honest. Helmut didn’t know how they managed it. Secretly, he envied their neverending veracity. He’d never say that though. No, not while they crossed the floor and offered up a large bottle of whiskey.

“A drink, dear leader?”

“Absolutely not” He griped, pinching the bridge of his nose. “How many times do I need to remind you I don’t drink?”

“Too many,”

“For once, I agree with you,”

A laugh passed through Y/N’s plush lips and, regrettably, Helmut couldn’t help but look up at them and relish in the sight. Their hair was a bit longer than they usually grew it out, a particularly unruly piece tucked behind their ear. Helmut hated that he noticed little details like that, despised the way he had come to know the soft dip of their cupid’s bow and the warmth of their palm. It was still Y/N, after all, for better or worse. He couldn’t help but allow himself those small recognitions though. It made him feel human, or something close to it.

Still, all good things must come to an end, and they did when Y/N decided to speak again. “You know, the longer I show up for these stupid meetings, the more I think you’re actually gonna try to go up against those bastards,”

Helmut should have known the barb was coming, but perhaps his better nature, if it truly existed, prevented that. Nevertheless, he sighed into his hands as he dropped his highlighter. “If I didn’t intend to actually try to change things, why would I have spent the last year of my life living in a shitty apartment and putting up with you?”

“You’d be surprised the things people do and never finish. Not everyone is as driven as you are,” Y/N huffed. They were quick to seat themself on the table once Helmut wasn’t actively working over it, smearing the highlighter away on their corduroy pants. “Nobody would blame you if you did tap out, you know. There are plenty of ways to make a change that don’t involve trying to take down the entire local Sokovian military force until they decide to give you what you want,”

“The changes we could make without a revolt wouldn’t really be changes, they’d just be the illusion of changes. You know that as well as I do,” Helmut replied with a groan.

Two of the fingers from Y/N’s free hand, the one that wasn’t gripping their bottle like a lifeline, pointed towards the closed door behind them. “Is living under our current system and knowing they have fingers in a few less-than-savory organizations really worse than leading all of your friends to their deaths?”

That struck a nerve in Helmut’s chest.

“And who says that has to be true?”

“Come on, oh benevolent and giving baron,” Y/N’s voice was light yet pointed, like a million minuscule particles of glass flying through the air, “Do you really think we’re all gonna make it out of a fight with the big guys? And even if all of us do, can you say the same for the poor kids fighting where we aren’t?”

“I never said there would be no casualties-”

“What about Sebastian? The kid is barely 12 and I know you’re going to say that if he tries to show up, you’re gonna send him home, but I think you underestimate how many people will want even someone as young as him dead if they catch him in the street. Are you really going to let him risk his life for this? A half-assed plan for you to get revenge on your asshole relatives for making your childhood shitty?”

“You know that’s not what this is about,”

“Do I?” Y/N asked, and for just a second, no, a millisecond, Helmut wasn’t sure anymore. It was only a brief moment though, nothing more. The fact that they could make him doubt himself do deeply though… it was a problem. Calling it that was an understatement, but there was no other way to put it that truly worked.

Helmut growled lowly and nodded, pushing the doubt from his mind. He was right. He had to be right. What would he be if he was wrong? A spoiled rich boy who was leading his friends to their dooms for nothing?

No.

He had to be right, so he was. It was as simple as that.

“Is there anything else you need to critique, or can you leave me to work now?” Helmut asked. His patience had long since worn thin. That didn’t matter much to Y/N, though. They liked to wear him down thin, see just how far they could push without breaking his resolve. It was a game they were both intimately acquainted with.

They played their hand expertly. “In fact,” Y/N smiled while they spoke, another mocking little grin that made Helmut’s stomach turn in the best and worst of ways, “there is one last thing I needed to ask about,”

“I shudder to think what it might be,”

“How are you going to hide your face?”

The question caught Helmut off-guard as he leaned back on his heels, letting his forearms brace against the edge of the table, his face scrunching up in thought. “What?”

Y/N gestured absently towards his face before bringing their bottle to their lips. “I’m betting that your family will expect you to be out there whenever we actually stage our attack. If I’m right, that means the soldiers will be looking for you as their top priority, and if they find you, they’ll kill everybody around you just to get a chance to drag you back to mommy and daddy. Even if they don’t kill us on sight we’ll be charged for harboring you without turning you in to the proper authorities. So, how are you going to hide your face?”

Once again, Helmut found himself thinking that, despite their drunken stupor, Y/N might just be right, and he hated it. He hated that he hadn’t thought of it first, hated that it was a valid point, hated that he had no satisfying way to answer the question they had posed. He hated it all.

“I’ll just throw on a bandana,” He managed to grumble, and that was that.

Or, that should have been that, but Y/N scoffed at the idea, setting down their bottle and leaning in close to Helmut’s face. After a moment of contemplation, they brought their hand up to his face and let their thumb come to rest on one of his largest beauty marks, the mole that rested high on the left side of his nose. “I’m afraid that a bandana isn’t going to cover up your absolutely blinding radiance, fearless leader,” There was a softness to their voice, a gentility Helmut was unused to. It made his chest hurt. He hated that too.

“Are you going to offer a solution or are you just going to sit there telling me I’m stupid,” His words were a low groan.

Much to his surprise, though, Y/N reached into their back pocket only to pass him a crumpled purple ball. It was obviously fabric, though the outside seemed to be coated in some sort of weatherproofing, and upon closer inspection, once unraveled, two distinct eyeholes became visible.

“Is this-”

“A mask?” Y/N finished his sentence for him, “Yeah. I figured you wouldn’t think about it, so I whipped something up with some old polyester-based yarn and then I coated it so it wouldn’t be a problem if it got wet. It should still be breathable, though,”

For the first time since he’d known them, Helmut looked up at Y/N and thought that they were incredibly valuable. He still hated them, of course he did. Y/N was Y/N and he was himself and they hated each other because they were, at their basest, entirely incompatible.

At his silence, Y/N looked away, almost nervous. “I hope it’s alright,”

“It’s more than alright,” Helmut said as kindly as he could possibly manage, “I hate to say this, but owe you one,”

“Could I collect on that debt now?” Minutely, Y/N leaned closer, eyes falling to Helmut’s lips.

He swallowed thickly. “You’re drunk, Y/N,”

“I know I am. Isn’t that wonderful?”

“Why would that be wonderful?”

“Because that means I won’t remember this,” And, with that, they closed the gap between the two of them and captured Helmut’s lips in his own.

Kissing Y/N wasn’t a new thing. They had kissed plenty of times during their frenzied hookups; soft kisses and hard kisses and long kisses and short kisses. Still, Helmut would never get used to the thrill of it. That was yet another thing he hated about Y/N. He could never quite get used to them. Every single interaction always felt as fresh and raw as their first.

With a fervor only he could muster, Helmut kissed back and pushed at Y/N’s hips, pressing them harder into the table below, and just as quickly as he had gained a physical mask, he had lost his emotional one.

------------

In the end, that was the last time Helmut had slept with Y/N.

They had fallen together, two sweaty half-dressed bodies laid out over the laminated map of Novi Grad, and then Y/N had gathered themself up and left with little more than one last kiss pressed to Helmut’s temple. By the time he himself had gotten home to Hans, the news of King Hugo’s death was almost an hour old.

After a few phone calls to lay the final plans and keep every sect of their band of revolutionaries on the same schedules, things rolled into motion like a finely tuned machine.

On the morning of June 5th, the barricades rose and Helmut wore his mask proudly as his people fought for freedom in the streets he had walked since childhood. Y/N was beside him.

By the early hours of June 6th, they were the only barricade that remained.

Helmut should have known that once things got too challenging that the super soldiers would be released, he should have anticipated that they’d be waiting for the backlash once king Hugo passed, and yet he hadn’t. He had blindly walked into the disaster with his eyes wide open. There was no one to blame but himself.

Little Sebastian, just one month shy of 13 years old, was dead, shot at long distance when he had attempted to grab a fallen box of bullets that had toppled over the peak of the jumble of hoarded furniture and scrap metal. Anton was dead too, taken at gunpoint while he stood guard at a side street and executed with his eyes bound and a sonnet on his lips. Even Ivan, stoic and strong Ivan who bound his knuckles in boxer’s tape and sparred with Helmut when he needed to clear his head, had been caught in the initial fire and bled out over the course of the day, dying with a smile on his face as he leaned on a discarded chair.

I never said there’d be no casualties.

His own words rang in his ears, taunted him with every bullet he shot and every breath he dragged into his aching lungs. How had he ever been so naive to believe that even one life could be expendable?

The real lowest point came at almost midnight when Helmut picked up a call from a student on another barricade only to met with screaming. “Winter is coming!” They had wailed, “Winter is coming!” and then they had died, right there over speakerphone. Helmut had the good sense to hang up once it got to the worst of it, the strangled gurgled growing to be too much for the group.

As things truly settled, in those hours so early that the world still considered them night, Helmut still stood vigilant. That’s when Y/N finally approached.

They wore no smile, not like usual. Instead, their face was stoic as they came to stand beside Helmut and waited silently for a moment. He took the chance to beat them to the punch.

“You don’t have to tell me you were right. I know you were,” I hate you for it.

Y/N offered a gentle, humorless laugh. “I wouldn’t rub it in at a time like this, but yeah, I was,” I know you do. I hate myself for it too.

Slowly, Helmut brought a hand to his face, scrubbing the exhaustion away from his eyes. How had it all come to this?

“How much time do you think we have,” Y/N was speaking before he had a chance to say anything more, saving him from having to elaborate on his admission. He was grateful. Grateful to not be alone, grateful to be spared more shame, grateful to see Y/N’s gentle smile one more time. He’d never show it though. No, he was to be the fearless leader till the end.

So, he sucked in a deep breath and stared out into the starry sky. “A few hours at most. I’m surprised they haven’t made another advance after the last big push in the evening when we lost…” he swallowed thickly, “when we lost Anton,”

Licking their lips and pushing back their hair, Y/N sighed. “For what it’s worth, for a minute there I really believed you could do it,”

It was a bigger compliment than it seemed and they both knew it, but neither acknowledged it. Instead, Helmut gestured absently towards the half-full bottle of wine in Y/N’s hand. “You mind if I have a drink of that?”

A grin spread across their lips, but it was as far from mocking as was possible as they passed the bottle over.

“I never thought I’d see the day,”

Lifting the bottom of his mask to take a swig, Helmut groaned at the deep, bitter burn of it. “Don’t get used to it,” He replaced the fabric quickly before passing the bottle back.

“I’ll try not to,”

“Happy 20th, by the way,” Y/N added, “this is a hell of a way to celebrate, but it’s very you,”

Helmut froze as the realization sunk in that it was, in fact, the 6th of June, even if it had only been that way for a couple hours.

There had been a party planned. It was just an intimate thing, cake and a few card games in the afternoon with his closest friends, but that was long behind them now, forgotten in favor of the larger cause. To Y/N, though, there was never a larger cause than Helmut himself. He was realizing that slowly. In a bitter moment of realization, he laughed.

“What?”

“You weren’t invited,”

They quirked up an eyebrow. “Huh?”

“To the birthday party. I didn’t invite you,”

“Well, I’m here now, and this is a pretty good party if I do say so myself. You and me and the revolution all jam-packed together in the middle of a street. Wouldn’t it be cool if the new democracy was born on the same day you were?”

He smiled softly. “It was meant to be,”

“I got you something, you know, even though I knew I wasn’t invited to the party,” Y/N added breathlessly. “It was stupid, just some dumb sweater with a whole bunch of random ass quotes from Machiavelli all over the back, but Anton and I saw it when we visited the better side of town to hang up those fliers for the march a few weeks ago and we knew you had to have it. It’s sitting all wrapped up on my front table,”

“It’s a shame I won’t get to open it today,”

They nodded distantly. “Yeah, a real shame…”

Then, they were quiet again, staring up at the stars mere feet away from each other and yet miles apart, farther than they’d ever been.

Y/N cut through the soundless night first, but not before several silent minutes had passed, filled with only the distant chatter of their surviving friends and the gentle whistling of the breeze over the rooftops above. “When everything goes to shit… with the universe, I mean, not now. Everything’s already gone to shit now. But that notwithstanding, when the world goes kaput and the sun explodes, we’re all gonna be starstuff together, right? You and I and Sebastian and Andrei and Anton and… all of us. We’re gonna be nothing but matter and dust out there in space,”

“Is there a point to this or are you just having an existential crisis?” Helmut muttered, but there was no bite to it.

They just chuckled as their eyes scanned the sky.

“I was just thinking, if all of us are gonna be nothing more than matter and dust and star stuff, it only makes sense that someday, even if it’s a billion years from now, a little part of each of us will be together again as part of some supernova in the sky to be seen by somebody else, and, when that day comes, I think I’m gonna know, and everything is gonna be alright,”

He hummed thoughtfully, running a hand absently over the thick purple knit of his mask, relishing in the gummy softness of the coating on his bare fingertips in the cooling air. “That makes no sense,”

“Do you think I don’t know that?”

“Still, it’s a pretty thought. Anton would have liked it,”

“Yeah, he would have…”

Helmut let his eyes fall from the sky to his companion. They looked so fragile, so broken, that he could barely stand himself, because, if he hadn’t made the stupid choices to lead them here, they never would have felt that way. They’d be curled up in bed somewhere, asleep and safe, far from the cold darkness of the night at his side. It made him sick.

How could he possibly put that to words? How could he apologize for denying every nudge, every chance to turn around? He couldn’t, and it made him as bitter as the wine that Y/N sipped from absently before turning to face him once again.

“Hey, Helmut,” they whispered, and his breath caught in his throat because how dare his voice sound so sweet on their lips? How dare they keep that joy, the joy of hearing his name whispered with reverence on the early morning breeze, real and caring and perfect, away from him for so long? “Do you think I could take a chair from the barricade?”

Just as soon as it had come, the joy was gone. “Why would you need a chair?”

Y/N shrugged. “I want to go sleep,”

“Why can’t you sleep out here?”

“I don’t want to be woken up,”

“We wouldn’t wake you until the fighting was starting back up again-”

“Oh, my darling fearless leader,” their voice was empty, tinny and cold, “I don’t ever want to be woken up,”

Their words pierced Helmut straight through the heart he didn’t know he had. It made him feel so much, so many emotions he had simply not allowed himself out of a misplaced sense of self-preservation. “But we’ll need every able body ready to fight when they send in the super soldiers if we even want a chance at making it out of this,”

The smile that crossed Y/N’s lips didn’t come from a place of joy, nor did it mock Helmut for his blind and dying faith. It was simply there because they did not know how to do anything else. “There’s no making it out of this. Not for me, at least. For you, though… you still have a chance,”

Denial and anger went hand in hand as Helmut sucked his teeth, grinding his molars and letting his hand ghost over his pistol hanging at his hip.

“So you’d really rather die like a coward than take a stand against the evils in the world?” he spat, harsh and cold as the air around them. “Pathetic,”

“Don’t do this now, Helmut, not after we were finally getting somewhere. I don’t want to die with things like that,”

“I’m not the one who’s giving up,” he snapped.

He just needed… something. A reaction. A reason to keep fighting when the war was already lost. Anything. Why couldn’t Y/N light the same fire in him that they’d kindled for months? The fire that had driven him to spend sleepless nights poring over maps and plans and speeches and guns. If he just pushed a little harder, just hit the right button, they’d light it again, he just knew it.

“Please,” the word fell fragile from Y/N’s lips. Not a beg, just a soft plea.

It fell on deaf ears.

“You know what? You can take your chair!” Helmut was shouting then, loud enough that the remaining students on the barricade could hear every word. “Take your chair and leave us to fight while you die in your sleep. If we make it through the day I’ll put the bullet between your eyes myself. Now get out of here! I don’t want to see you again,” There was a cruelty to it, an edge that he thought might just push them off the edge. Still, it wasn’t cruel without reason. Helmut thought that maybe, if he was lucky enough, Y/N would simply leave.

They had no stakes in the results of the revolt, no serious lasting ties that would get them hunted down in the weeks to come if things came to a gruesome end. If he bid them to leave, to disappear from his sight, there was a chance, however small, that they would disappear into the shadows with a chance to live.

Against all odds, though, Y/N smiled one of those empty smiles again and drank down the very last of their wine.

“As your baronship commands,” they whispered, before departing to gather up a chair and disappearing into the restaurant where they had met so many times before.

Then, they were gone, and Helmut was free to sink to the ground as his heart broke and mended and broke again.

------------

As expected, the super soldiers arrived only a couple of hours past Y/N’s departure.

Their arrival was silent, only marked by the slow thud of retreating national guardsmen in the distance. They weren’t needed there anymore, and the less they saw the better.

Helmut watched his friends fall one by one in the panic, the barricade falling to ruin as the soldiers- if they could even be considered that, soldier seemed a far too human term for the monstrous creatures before him- pulled it apart with their bare hands. From there it was just a game of who was caught first in the insanity that ensued.

Nicholas; caught a bullet through the neck.

Vladimir; thrown against a solid stone wall at a speed near impossible.

Lazlo; impaled on a bit of broken wood as the wood exploded.

Andrei; shot 3 times point-blank in the chest as he held the door closed to buy Hans and Helmut a little more time with a love confession for his closest companion falling from his mouth.

Hans…

Helmut didn’t know how Hans died.

He had never asked. All he knew that the shots had come as he wailed Andrei’s name, and then there was a deathly silence in the golden light of the morning sun as Helmut stood alone at the back of the storeroom, taking in the 4 walls that had held the best year of his life.

What remained now?

A failed dream? A pile of bodies? A single survivor waiting for his death?

Helmut didn’t know. He couldn’t fathom it.

The two soldiers sent to finish the job were nameless and nondescript as they slipped through the door, armed with long, silent rifles and hidden by masks not too dissimilar from Helmut’s own. They did not speak, not a word. Instead, they simply raised their guns and took aim at Helmut as he closed his eyes and thought of-

“Wait!”

The word rang out heavy and made the two executioners snap to the side.

“I’m with him! I’m with the revolution! Down with King Emil! Down with the monarchy!”

There, hidden among the crates and shelves of canned goods and glass bottles, was Y/N.

They looked objectively awful, eyes rimmed red and hair mussed up and coated with oil. Still, it was the most beautiful sight Helmut had ever seen.

It was only right that they go together.

Slowly, Y/N made their way across the room to take their place at Helmut’s side. “I know you said you never wanted to see me again, but I assume you’ll make an exception for the circumstances,”

“I never meant it,” he whispered back, and Y/N smiled, “You have to know, I never meant it,”

“Even if you did, I never would have listened-”

Suddenly, one of the soldiers spoke, taking aim straight for Helmut down the barrel of their gun.

“Quiet,”

Y/N only paused for a moment before pressing their hand into his. “Kiss me, Helmut?”

Who was he to deny them?

Pulling off his mask, he pressed his lips to theirs and clasped their hand like it was the last thing he would ever do. When he pulled away, they were smiling one of their old, mocking, joyous smiles.

“Oh, fearless leader… I win,”

The words were a whisper of air against his lips. Before he could fathom the true meaning of them the pair was peppered in a spray of gunfire as Helmut closed his eyes to the world for what should have been the final time.

When he opened them, Y/N was struck dead at his feet.

------------

It was their final winning move, he later realized, the checkmate to a game of chess he never believed would end.

In the end, Y/N had been as correct as they always were.

All the same, he hated them for it.

Some nights, in the darkness of his room back at the summer estate where his father has imprisoned him until further notice, he wondered if Y/N had kissed him because they wanted to or if they had done it to get him to remove his mask long enough that the soldiers would recognize him and spare him. It wouldn’t surprise him. Y/N did have a tendency to be right about things like that.

Ghosts haunted him often.

Not full specters, he would wish for something so merciful. Instead, he saw flashes in the periphery of his vision. Outside his window, he’d hear a child’s laugher and be so sure it was Sebastian until he looked out to find that it was simply a group of the staff’s children playing ball. Or, when the assigned guardsman brought him his dinner, he would glance down the hall and be so sure that a man at the other end was Lazlo, preparing to face a board of proctors as he delivered a thesis he would never write. It never was, though. It never would be.

Worst of all, when he laid awake in his bed as the clock struck twelve, he would feel them beside him.

They had never slept together in the literal sense. Whatever they had shared (love, Helmut would come to realize after many, many years with Heike, painfully hollow without the same kind of flame. He had loved them and simply never known how to show it) was purely physical and contained within that bloody, bloody storeroom that he was sure would be torn down someday soon as they glossed over the casualties and stamped out the evidence. Still, he could feel Y/N beside him in the darkness despite the fact that they had never been there.

Their head on his chest, their body pressed flush to his side, their hot breath fanning over the fabric of his nightshirt, creating a patch of damp warmth in its wake…

It was maddening, an eternal punishment he was doomed to endure for his stupidity. Nevertheless, if he let his brain wander to a better place, a different lifetime, it was almost comforting to feel their ghost wrapped tightly to his side.

When he woke, though, the loss of the dream was more maddening than living through it.

Almost a month after the failed revolution, in the hot and heady days of early July when the wasps buzzed loud at the window and the skies were filled with thunderclouds most of the time, his father finally came to speak to him.

“I trust you spent your birthday how you wished to,” Heinrich said plainly. There was no question to it, just an empty sentiment.

Mockery wasn’t nearly as pleasant when delivered by his father and not his lover, Helmut thought distantly.

“On the contrary, I spent my birthday watching everyone I cared about die,” he snapped back.

Heinrich didn’t offer any sort of commiseration. He simply shrugged and continued on with what he was there to say, not that his son minded much. The less time he spent there the more time Helmut would have to himself, which was preferable to listening to his father’s droning.

“You’re lucky to be alive. The family is on thin ice thanks to that stunt you pulled, but with time we’re all sure that you’ll become an asset if you simply learn to use that fire for something more… productive,”

Who the ‘we’ was went unspoken. It didn’t need to be.

Helmut sighed and looked out the window at the rain falling on the garden. Nicholas would have loved the gardens at this home. He would have pressed every flower at least once in the little book he kept beside him filled with the pieces of the world that he collected as he passed through it. Where would he be kept and collected now that he was dead?

“I’ve called in a favor and enrolled you for military service. You’ll be tested to find your strengths, sent where you’re best suited, and trained from the ground up. Once we know you can be trusted, you might even lead your own squadron and make some friends more of your caliber,”

It took all Helmut’s strength to clench his teeth and hold back the rage he felt in his chest. “When do I leave?”

“As soon as you’re married,”

Married.

The word struck a bolt through the rage and dissolved it, giving way to pure shock. “What the hell do you mean?”

Crossing his arms, Heinrich took to pacing a 2-foot line back and forth in front of the door. “We’ve found a suitable match from a good standing Sokovian family, and they’re willing to look past your little misstep as long as their daughter becomes a baroness and is adequately involved in society. She’ll be here in three days time and you’ll have a week to get acquainted before the wedding,”

“I never said I was going to get married,” Helmut growled, “You can’t make me get married,”

His father stared down at him from above like he was a little boy again. “I can make you do whatever I want. Don’t think I didn’t hear about what happened with that freak they shot down at your side! No son of mine is ending up with someone like-”

In an instant, Helmut had rushed across the room and punched his father square in the jaw. As blood poured down the man’s face, a hiss escaped his son’s lips.

“Never talk about Y/N like that again,”

“So it had a name!”

That earned him another punch, but Heinrich escaped Helmut’s grip quickly, cupping a hand beneath his nose to catch the redness that poured from his face. As he retreated out the door, he turned to deliver his final verdict. “You have three days to get your act together, and maybe, just maybe, if you don’t fuck this up, I’ll let you know where they dumped all your little friends to rot,” And with that, he shut the door behind him and left Helmut to pick up the pieces of his soul.

------------

The tale Zemo wove was a sad one (sans most of the details about Y/N. That was a story whose finer details he would take to his grave) and as he came to a close, the purple fabric between his fingers was a tether to reality. The coating was a bit old, thinner in places than it should have been, but it had remained steady and strong for over 20 years and he didn’t know the first place to start repairing it.

Y/N would have known, they’d been the one to do it in the first place after all, but they were long gone, not even a ghost anymore. Just a name and a face forgotten to time as all the other impoverished students were, buried in an unmarked grave in a place he never learned. It was all that remained of them. The only thing that proved they were ever there at all.

“You know the rest of the story,” he added firmly. “I married Heike, climbed the ranks of the military, had my son… and they were simply lost, an unwritten page in the history of a country that no longer exists,”

Suddenly, though, a deep voice cut in through the heavy air between them.

“Ciczheni,”

“Pardon?” Zemo asked softly, pouring himself a final tumbler of whiskey and stuffing the mask back in his pocket.

“We buried them in Ciczheni,”

He nearly dropped the bottle in his hand.

Bucky was quick to continue, voice low and eyes clouded with memory in a way that only the two of them would ever truly understand. “It’s a tiny town along the border to the Czech Republic. There’s a big open field there, or at least there was, marked with a flat grave marking it as a burial site. I don’t remember the name on it, some random pseudonym, but they’re all there, all 57 dead and buried in the ground under that rock,”

Helmut gave a stiff nod. “I see,” Then, in one long gulp, he downed the whole two fingers of whiskey straight and relished in the way it burned down his throat. When the glass was empty and set down safely on the counter again he was quick to school his expression as he turned away. “I’m afraid all that excitement has exhausted me for the day. Goodnight, gentlemen,”

He was gone down the hallway into his bedroom before the pair had a chance to say another word.

Ciczheni.

As he undressed, he smiled softly, letting a few errant tears drip down his cheeks.

They had been born and raised in that tiny farming town. Sometimes, when he had let himself listen in on their conversations with some of the other members of their small, tight group, they would talk about how much they wanted to return someday, once they’d made enough money to live on for a while if they supported themself by growing a small garden and maybe keeping some chickens. The thought, even then, had always made him smile. Just Y/N and a cottage and a chicken or two.

Sometimes, if he was especially indulgent, he would imagine himself there with them. Sharing a home.

Making a family.

His biological family, the one he had created with marriage and his own flesh and blood, was something different entirely. He had loved them. God, how he’d loved them. Still, it was never the same. He was never at peace. He was never home. There would always be a bitterness there, as bitter as the dark summer wine he’d drunk the night he’d turned 20, a resentment that came with the obligation of creating a place in his heart for them when there never should have been.

For Y/N, though...

He sighed, wrapping himself in his robe and slipping on a pair of fleece pajama pants before crawling between the sheets and laying flat on his back, eyes to the ceiling.

Things wouldn’t have been happy all the time. Hell, they probably wouldn’t have been happy even most of the time. Still, they would have been where they belonged, seated firmly at his side for the rest of their long, wonderful lives.

Ciczheni, he repeated in his mind, then the memorial for Novi Grad. It was a minor detour, adding barely 2 hours more to the whole trip when he had plenty more to spare.

Ciczheni, then Novi Grad, and then, finally, peace.

Beside him, he could feel the phantom limbs wrap around his body, resting their weight firmly on his chest where the guilt and shame and terror built by the day, and for the first time in almost a decade they were not Heike’s. Perhaps, if all went according to plan, they wouldn’t be phantom much longer.

Or, if not, he would wait. He would wait a billion years to disintegrate into stardust and spread across the cosmos in search of them.

Either way, when they were together again, he’d know.

They both would.

--------

a/n: I’m not crying, you’re crying.

TAGLIST: @tatestripedsweater , @elaineygrace , @multiyfandomgirl40 , @lovelymischief , @rami-malek-trash , @avgravy , @wh0re-4-techno , @forcebros , @sugarsweetkiss , @grandmuffinsharkbailiff , @killsandthrills , @novasstudy , @thnksfr-ptrkstmp , @inmate-marmalade , @alanathedeer , @your-pixels-are-showing , @shit-post-things , @bbarton , @sux-ubus , @halefirewarrior , @janelongxox , @rax-writes , @wondermia69 , @booklover2929 , @lol-im-done , @rorodendra , @spookycereal-s , @viviace , @wxrmh0le , @whatawildone , @mush-room-princess , @aliyahsfantasticlife , @gredvb , @chipster-21 , @whatawildone , @cloud-of-roses , @bry-97 , @mossybank , @simsiddy , @xxspqcebunsxx , @be-cautious-around-bri , @metaphorical-love-for-a-car , @frothonthedaydreams

#zemo #baron zemo #helmut zemo #baron helmut zemo #zemo x reader #helmut zemo x reader #baron zemo x reader #baron helmut zemo x reader #barricade day #zemo fanfic

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itoldsunset · 4 years ago

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rewatching ipytm episode 2: thoughts

apologies in advance for this very messy, very long bullet scene-by-scene commentary!

summary: this was a very hard episode to watch and rewatch. the frustration with teh is real, the hurt for oh-aew is real. but the fear of change and abandonment, and the fear of admitting your own insecurities, is SO coming of age and i love that we get to see teh grappling with what happens when the idealistic vision you had for your life slowly starts to crumble.

also, this episode (and possibly the entirety of part 2) was 100% the writers' and p'meen's love letter to comm arts students/graduates, and even though i am a total outsider to that world, it really touched my heart to see the diversity of experiences and struggles reflected here.

i love that we see how much closer teh has become with jai and khim!! this doesn't translate in the subs, but i thought it was interesting how teh used respectful pronouns with them when he was a first-year and now for the most part uses rude (familiar) pronouns with them as a second-year, even though they're still technically his seniors. i think it goes to show how close they've become since he first joined the drama club.

goy was so fucking CUTE in that scene when she said "oh, lots of boys are peeking at me, i'm shy" i think i'm in love 😭 also the cinematography of that scene!!

this episode does such a great job at making you feel uncomfortable along with the characters. i hated how uncomfortable teh was at the birthday party, and i could feel how out of place he felt there.

when mangpong talks about how easy it is for celebrities to make money and teh is clearly offended by that and speaks up against it (which results in yet another awkward uncomfortable moment), i feel like he's speaking up on behalf of khim who we later realize is basically his idol and the person he identifies the most with. i feel like p'meen and the writing team are really trying to represent the lives of people who go into communication arts, especially those who go in with an interest in performing arts. and for me that scene with mangpong communicates two things: 1) the defensiveness that comes with having your chosen career path misunderstood or reduced into something that's easy money, and 2) how close-knit and protective the drama club is of each other, because teh speaking up in defense of actors to me feels like he's defending this identity they all share as people who are struggling to make it in the industry.

oh-aew is SO sweet. getting a tattoo that resembles your partner's name gives me so much anxiety, but i guess he's 19 and has always been sure of his feelings so it does make sense for him. at first glance teh's reaction really just makes it sound like he's against tattoos, drinking, all that, like he's super old-fashioned, but it's not REALLY about the tattoo and we learn that later when they have their big fight and he blows up with all the nitpicky little things he's noticed about all the ways oh-aew has changed. i thought it was so cute how au basically showed off his tattoo to open the conversation for oh-aew to show teh his tattoo though. we love a supportive friend group!!!

"this tattoo is pretty. thank you." this is teh being as genuine as he can, as someone who is seriously not in touch with his own feelings and can't understand why he's so upset at oh-aew getting a tattoo. because again it's not the tattoo itself that's the problem, but what it represents for teh, which is oh-aew's world slowly expanding to include people and things that are foreign to teh, and he worries that one day that world won't have a place for him anymore.

drunk oh-aew speaking mandarin, and teh taking care of him!!! the only fluff we got all episode and i will cherish it forever and ever, like the aquarium scene from episode one. the fact that teh brought over the stuffed animal, kissed oh-aew on the forehead, and then decided to sleep over on the floor next to him? making him kimchi jjigae? so soft!! our boy has got a lot of issues to work through but he loves oh-aew for sure.

the scene where oh-aew is receiving feedback on his performance from his professor is so... oof. the fact that his classmate got positive feedback for portraying a gay man in a way that isn't stereotypical (read: masculine? i wonder?) and the fact that oh-aew was critiqued for unsuccessfully portraying the tone and mannerisms of a man who doesn't understand gay people? it's a bit subtler than what we hear from the casting director but i swear it's the same shit. and it really doesn't surprise me at all to see oh-aew not believe in himself and his ability to perform because of it.

teh saying "both of us" and being so excited about their casting opportunity!! 😭 and also, khim being such a sweetheart and helping them get this opportunity in the first place!

the contrast with how happy oh-aew looked when the advertising professor told him he had the right answer, compared to how torn down he looked after being critiqued and told he got a C by his acting professor (in front of the whole class!!). which tbh for me is subtle commentary on how much influence professors have on students' self-confidence and whether they believe in their own ability to succeed in their field.

the commentary on sexism and homophobia in the thai entertainment industry!! khim being told she looked too old, not smart enough, not believable, honestly all coded ways of saying she didn't fit in with the beauty standard they were going for. and while khim is saying this we see oh-aew is already getting nervous, because he's already had his confidence shaken by his experiences in class. and then when we get to the scene where the casting director says he's too girly and asks him to act more manly, we see oh-aew's mood shift completely, and honestly it hurts to watch. pp did such an amazing job here because i felt it, like the way oh-aew's eyes change, and then he swallows right after, and how unsettled he sounds trying to deliver the line again after hearing that critique.

oh-aew listening to khim tell teh about how hard it's been for her to break into the industry is so impactful, because you can already tell what he's thinking. is this really worth it? do i want this enough to endure people telling me over and over again i'm not masculine enough for them? is that going to be me in the future, being rejected from hundreds of castings and still not making it?

when teh hugs khim and says "we will get through this together," it's so clear that he identifies with her struggle. teh is someone who has worked his ass off to get to where he is (remember his fight with his mom where she said he lost sleep and was getting sick from all the studying he did?), and he sees himself in khim and her passion and ambition. meanwhile, we see oh-aew really doubting whether this is the right path for him.

i love how teh immediately asked if oh-aew was okay after oh-aew told him about what the casting director said, and how teh reassured him that he liked oh-aew the way he is. it's like, he so clearly cares for oh-aew and loves him so much and sometimes knows how to show it well, and then other times just fucks it up. it's so real??

oh-aew deciding to change majors three months into it is a very oh-aew thing to do, and what i mean by that is, this is a character who is super in touch with himself and his feelings and trusts in himself to make the right decisions. he's not afraid to change his mind (remember when he was testing out his feelings for bas and teh and then turned down bas once he knew?), he's bold and goes for what he wants. and i envy that about his character so much. but it makes me sad to know that the thing that was making him nervous during this scene was the fact that he was worried about how teh would react. like he went through all that questioning and critique himself, to finally discover his answer, only to now have to worry about whether his partner will accept him.

teh, on the other hand, has had his whole life planned out since forever. he feels the need to know and control everything. he has so much fear and insecurity. and he is stubborn and doesn't believe in giving up, which he believes is what oh-aew is doing. and on top of that, he sees this as another way in which he is losing oh-aew. one more thing oh-aew has in common with his friend group that doesn't include him. one more way that he's becoming a smaller part of oh-aew's world. oh-aew looked so small in the bathtub scene and i just wanted to hold him 😔

the 8 month time skip is a little jarring because of all the things we don't get to see, but i guess it makes sense if teh has been bottling up his insecurities about their relationship that it would all blow up in everyone's face in the way that it did at the dinner scene.

it was interesting to me how teh hesitated when oh-aew texted that he would join them for dinner, like teh didn't want oh-aew to come along with his drama club. and then once oh-aew arrives at the restaurant, we see that teh isn't totally happy either. it's like as much as teh feels like an outsider in oh-aew's world, he seems to also see oh-aew as an outsider in his own world too. and when top says he wanted to get into comm arts at anantasart but he didn't get in, we see teh's expression and it's like, a reminder that he gave up that spot for oh-aew, that teh didn't pass the admissions exam either, and that oh-aew who did pass has now "given up" on it (in teh's eyes) to pursue another major. it's like teh also feels betrayed on behalf of all the performing arts kids who are struggling to make their passion into a career.

i feel like i sort of get why teh said all that shit about oh-aew at the dinner table now. i'm not excusing it at all, that was super shitty of him. but i wonder if it's like, this is a thing they deal with in the performing arts, people giving up because it's so hard to make it in the industry. and you watch your friends leave one by one, and it keeps causing more and more doubt in yourself about whether you can make it. and now that teh sees oh-aew as someone who's given up, he doesn't want that energy at the dinner table with his drama friends, like he wants to protect them from that and keep up with this "we can get through this together" mentality that he keeps saying. so it's easier for him to try to dismiss it as oh-aew's personality flaw, rather than a legitimate change in career path, because he's worried about how it might affect his own friends in the drama club. and we see how protective teh is of khim, when he says "what the fuck did you just say?" like he really shares an identity with his drama club and it's clear he thinks oh-aew doesn't understand it or belong there.

needless to say, i was extremely stressed that entire dinner scene which i think means the writers, p'meen, and the actors did an excellent job.

their fight scene was really amazingly done and i am just stunned by teh's response when oh-aew asks him "what if this is who i really am, would you not like me anymore?" and teh thinks about it for a bit, and says "maybe." that's him being genuine, he's not trying to hurt oh-aew in saying that, and we can see him internally asking himself that question. but he doesn't know the answer, because he can't even be honest with himself about why he's upset at oh-aew. so he says the first thing he thinks which is an honest "maybe," and then he immediately regrets his words, and at some point he's going to have to learn that he can't just say the first thing that comes to mind, when other people's feelings are at stake. also, the fucking piano that plays? the violin? goddamn.

khim's character is really here to teach teh, and all of us, some life lessons. she is so real. her struggles are so real. life is fucking hard, and it's not fair, and no matter how hard you work or try you can't have it all. "the conditions for our lives are not the same" holy shit yes. she wants to take care of her family and her dog, she can't just think of herself. i feel like teh, who comes from a relatively modest background but has always had hoon as a father figure to support his mom, probably doesn't feel that same burden.

teh being frustrated and going to the bridge was beautiful. the crying hug scene at the dorm was so beautiful.

i love that in the end, teh finally owns up to his own insecurities and apologizes and admits he was wrong. of course, this was after oh-aew reached out to him first. i think it's totally realistic that we see his growth happening kind of slowly, but before the series ends he's going to need to be the first one to reach out, because oh-aew can't hold all of that on his own.

the last score when they hug under the moonlight, i love it!!

#ipytm #i promised you the moon #ipytm spoilers #textpost #i hope someone sees this lmao i know it's 3am dfslkjghfgjlk

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flymyhp · 4 years ago

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Birds to Spell books Pairing: George Weasley x Hufflepuff!reader Summary: George spends all his time showing his affection in the wrong way, only to ask her to the Yule Ball 6 years later Words: 2,163 Warnings: Mostly angst, fluff at the end tho ;) and the timeline is a little bit wonky at some parts A/N: Hi! This is my first time writing pretty much anything. Give me feedback! Much love, stay safe x Sixth year was exceptionally ordinary for y/n. Nearing the end of November, the Hufflepuff was sat near the fire in the Gryffindor common room with her younger sister, Hermione and the youngest of the trio, Harry. The topic of discussion among everyone at Hogwarts had been the Triwizard tournament, along with the Yule Ball. Although, the trio had seemed to push the ball completely out of their minds, only focusing on Harry’s name being drawn from the goblet of fire. Panic had struck her underclassmen friends due to these events, while recently y/n had been struck with panic for a different reason. “Pipe down, Lee.” Y/n knew the voice coming from behind her, but she didn’t take notice of it until she felt a pair of eyes boring into the back of her head. Her eyebrows furrowed as she attempted to focus on the conversation carrying on between her own group. Nobody seemed to notice the discomfort on her face, being too enveloped with their own issues. This didn’t bother her, the only thing that did was the voice she couldn’t take her attention from. “You haven’t researched the dragons at all, have you, Harry?” Hermione lectured Harry. There was an all too familiar tone in her voice. One that y/n shared with her, and one that she flinched at. “You have no idea how dangerous this is, do you?” “I’m sure he’s figured that bit out himself,” She jumped at the voice, and turned around, only opening her eyes once she was fully facing its owner. “haven’t you, Harry?” George Weasley. Kneeling behind the couch, right next to y/n, grinning. George Weasley. The boy who’d once transfigured her spell books into birds during their third year. The boy who, on multiple occasions over the course of 6 years, used the amplifying charm to make her robes shout during exams. And last week, the boy who’d asked her to the Yule Ball. She was completely sure it was a joke. What she wasn’t sure of was what made him target her the most out of everybody he and his twin played pranks on. It seemed to usually be gullible, younger kids who they went for. Y/n was an exception for six years, especially with George. It also had seemed like a harmless joke that everyone could laugh at. The joke felt nonexistent when it was her turn, as she was the only one not laughing. “I’m only joking, of course, Harry. There’s nothing to fret about.” George let his teasing die down a bit as she decided to zone back in. Just then, y/n felt a tap on her shoulder. Her face turned to meet George’s own. “Mind steppin’ out for a bit?” Y/n’s face went red. She’d hoped her sister didn’t hear him, or she’d be getting a lecture as well. Although she doubted she would, considering Harry’s was likely to continue until he stepped into the arena with a dragon. She reluctantly stood to her feet, her legs shaking slightly as she did so. “Why not? It’s nearing twelve, I’d better head out, anyways. G’night, Mione.” Y/n excused herself. Hermione stopped talking long enough to tell her goodnight and to be careful heading back to the basement with a kind smile which y/n gladly returned. Y/n followed George out of the common room and into the halls. The moon shone bright through the windows and she shivered in the cold of the fall night. “Am I correct in assuming you’re walking me to bed?” She asked, teeth chattering. He chuckled. “Of course I am,” Then he sighed, insinuating that wasn’t all he was here for. “Bird,” George started. The nickname made y/n want to hide in her hoodie the rest of the way back, and possibly the rest of term. “You never gave me an answer about the Yule ball.” He wasn’t asking anything, just stating the fact that weighed on y/n’s shoulders since the minute the question left his mouth a week prior. The question she didn’t exactly have an answer to. This wasn’t a cliché, y/n didn’t like George. She didn’t like the embarrassment he’d put her through for six years. She didn’t want to say yes. She didn’t want to say yes out of fear that it would all be a joke when it came down to the dance. She didn’t want to get her hopes up. On the other hand, she didn’t want to say no and end up going alone, or not at all. “I don’t have one.” This simple sentence left George kicking his feet a little as he walked. He lowered his head, and lifted it up again, his hair flicking out of his eyes as if he’d lost all confidence and then gained it back again. “Not even no?” He was looking at her now. She kept her head straight. “I could take rejection without an explanation, but can you tell me why you just don’t have an answer? Just curious is all.” Y/n swallowed. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to explain it to him. Was she being ridiculous? Overdramatic? Overthinking? She didn’t know what to think anymore. They’d already gotten to the entrance to her common room before she could think of what to say to him, so she just let everything out at once. “I can’t give you an answer. My heart sank when you asked me because I know it’s just a big joke. You’ve embarrassed me enough the past 6 years.” She began. She couldn’t control what she was saying, she just spoke. “Y/n,” He started, but was immediately interrupted as she couldn’t stop speaking. “But I can’t say no either, because if I don’t show up, or if I show up alone what am I to say? It’ll be equally embarrassing. I can’t win with you around, George.” When she finished she was out of breath. What she said didn’t hit her until she saw the look on his face. “I didn’t realize you felt that way.” George looked absolutely crushed. She didn’t know until then that he was being completely serious when he’d asked her to go to the Yule Ball with him. She’d ran from him and ignored him for a week, just to break his heart the moment he questioned her again. But how was she to know he genuinely wanted to go with her? She opened her mouth to speak, and George was going to let her but she closed her mouth as soon as he looked up at her. His eyes were watery, and she didn’t know what to do to fix it. Her silence gave George his answer, it was a big no. The twenty-fourth of November was the next chance she saw to speak to George, the first task of the tournament. He hadn’t been as bubbly as he usually is since the night before when she poured her heart out to him. She couldn’t stand to look at him and see hurt in his eyes. All she could think to do was find him in the crowd and force herself to fix things, even if it meant she had to look at his face and see the pain she caused. She walked to the arena with Hermione and Ron. Ron still wasn’t happy about the situation with Harry. He’d caused a few scenes in the common room and the courtyard. Both Hermione and y/n had tried to convince him that Harry hadn’t put his name in, but he couldn’t be convinced. Ron was easy to find his brothers, they had been having students place bets on who they believed would win the task and were walking through the pathway to the arena counting their profit. “Ron, would you mind bringing Fred along with you to find us seats? I have to fix something.” Y/n knew Ron wouldn’t mind, even in his sour mood. “As long as you manage to stop them taking the piss out of me, no problem.” He had a foul look on his face as he glanced at his brothers. She knew that his brothers had been giving him a hard time about Harry, but her first priority was to fix what she messed up. Ron, Hermione and Fred started off toward the arena. George didn’t look at y/n as he began to follow them, so she grabbed the sleeve of his jumper gently telling him to wait. He turned with his head down, he didn’t want to look at her. He was afraid if he did he would cry. “I’m not very good at this, obviously. But I need you to hear me out.” She began. He finally looked at her. She took a breath and started again. “You’ve never shown any sort of fondness towards me, no kindness, no apologies, for six years I’ve been the brunt of all of your jokes. You never gave me any explanation for that. How can you go from tormenting me for years to asking me to the first dance Hogwarts has had since we’ve been here? I couldn’t be a last option, there’s tons of girls who’d gladly go with you if you asked. Why me?” He stared at her for a moment, his eyes searched hers for some type of strength to get him to respond, and he found it. “As I said the other night in the basement, I didn’t realize you’d felt the way you did until you told me. I’ve been beating myself up since you told me how you felt. I’m not upset with you, I’m upset with myself.” This time, y/n began to tear up. “Freddie knows I’ve liked you for ages and he tells me to go for it, but I never could. I singled you out because I thought by doing something funny I could see you smile in the process instead of having to outright tell you how I felt about you. Then we came back to school to find out that they’re holding a dance, and I knew that was my opportunity. That’s why I asked you to the Yule Ball, I went for it as Freddie always told me to. He’s a lot better at going for it than I am, obviously, as he asked Angela the first day.” George finished with a chuckle, his eyes still sad. She blinked, her mouth opened and closed, and opened again. She was speechless. It was hard for her to admit to herself now that even though she didn’t have any romantic feelings for him, it would be easy for them to develop. “I can’t say I feel the same about you, considering I’ve spent my entire time at Hogwarts either crying or avoiding you. My friends are my little sisters’ friends because I’m laughed at due to your pranks.” She told him the truth. Even Ron, their little brother, was nicer to her than he had been. “I understand the way you’ve treated me, and I forgive you even if you aren’t willing to apologize because of what I said the other night.” He gave her a small smile. “Bird, of course I’m apologizing. I never meant to make you cry, or avoid your own classmates, or me. All I’m hoping for now is that I get a proper answer now that we understand each other.” “I have an answer for you. But it’s not exactly a proper one.” He looked at her with curiosity. “I’ll go to the ball with you, even though for now I don’t have any sort of feelings for you.” His head fell slightly at her statement and nodded, still not fully content with her answer. “Don’t look so down, George. If you’re lucky, you can change that. I did say I didn’t have feelings for you for now, didn’t I?” It was her turn to give him a grin. This time, he smiled. The first genuine smile he’d ever gave her. It wasn’t caused by his pranks, it was hopeful and warm. “I do have a tendency to be quite lucky.” The smile still bright on his face, he took one of her hands in his. “I’m sorry, genuinely. I’m sorry for your robes, I’m sorry for transfiguring your spell books into birds in third year, and I’m sorry for making you believe I wasn’t serious with my asking you to the ball. By Christmas, the ball, you’ll be happy to be attending with me. No one will laugh at you anymore, and you won’t have to only have my git brother for a friend. I promise.” She laughed, the first time he’d ever heard her laugh, and it was him who caused it. “Once again, I forgive you.” She took his other hand in hers and looked from their hands to his eyes. “Besides, I prefer birds to spell books anyways.”

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popculturebuffet · 4 years ago

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Of Moons, Millionares and Mothers Part 3: Storkules in Duckburg! aka THE INCREDIBLE STORKULES TERRIBLE BUT WELL MEANING ROOMATE OUT OF MYTH

Hello all you happy people! And welcome and welcome back to Of Moons, Millionares and Mothers, my look at the season 2 arcs of Ducktales! This arc was paid for by WeirdKev27 and I truly enjoy his support. if you want to know how to commission your own reviews or to get a guarnateed review of me of your choice from me a month, stick around to the end. I realized that shoving all my plugs in up top may be driving people away and while I DO make them because I want to make a living off this, i’ts not fair to those of you who simply can’t afford to buy a lot of extra shit like myself to keep shoving it in your face.

Previously on the Louie Inc Arc, Louie, after believing he had no skills and it was a matter of when not if he ws going to die, found his talent: seeing all the angles and thus being Sharper than the Sharpies. With newfound confidence and a chip on his shoulder from Scrooge saying he could one day be a bigger success than Scrooge himself, founding Louie Inc as a result. But what is Louie Inc? Does he actually have a plan or a bunch of buzzwords. And what does STORKULES, MANLY GAY OUT OF MYTH have to do with any of this? Join me under the cut to find out.

We open with Louie giving Scrooge his sales pitch that is essentially...

Naturally Scrooge buys none of it. I mean he’s somewhere in his hundreds, he’s probably seen about 80 thousand pitches that amount to “I have no plan but give me money anyway”. There’s a reason there’s a Butch Hartman shaped crater on the lawn from where he threw his ass out.

Scrooge does mentor the lad, or at least attempt to pointing out he needs an actual product or service (Louie rejects the idea of a lemonade stand as too easy), or as he puts it “Find a problem and create a solution”.

While the basic PRINCIPAL isn’t bad, find something people want or need and provide it, phrasing it that way sounds like “find a problem people are having and exploit the shit out of that problem for fun and profit.” Granted that IS a guiding principal of business, it’s just not something an uncle should be teaching his kids. They should be teaching them about the anime and cartoons they grew up with as I do with my niece and nibling.

He does show him a valid example of this in action in the form of Donald. Turns out Donald has found a good way to make money while he looks for a job, can relate: since Duckburg is facing a housing shortage, likely because several square blocks probably get destroyed by Scrooge’s Adventures, Glomgold’s Schemes, Superhero Battles, whatever creation went horribly wrong for Gyro, etc at least once a week. So he’s taken it upon himself to offer up the spare room to whoever can rent it.. and to steal Scrooge’s chandelier which even when caught he still takes anyway. Scrooge.. you called the guy a god-damn moocher in the season premiere, despite the fact he lives there soley because YOU offered and because he’s you know, being responsible and staying by his boys so they have their father figure around. So yeah I feel he’s doing this partly out of spite as is the McDuck way. I mean if your going to call him a freeloader just for being a responsible parent, then he’s going to take it up a damn notch.

Scrooge proceeds to laugh off Louie wanting a million dollars and gives him a dime instead because of course he was. Seriously Louie there are two other billionaires in town who are FAR dumber and far more easily swindled. Just go get star up capital from them. Hell with Glomgold all you’d have to do is tell him it’d upset scrooge and he’d literally throw money at you. Or give you a shark full of money. He needs the shark back though. He’s family.

Meanwhile Donald prepares for his new tenant and finds.. THE INCREDIBLE STORKULES! Who to his mounting horror as he realizes it, IS the new tenant. And who throws him into the sun. Cue credits.

So after Donald somehow survives being thrown into the sun, Storkules explains why he’s here: Zeus responded to his son playing the lute a lot like any rational reasonable

No of course he responded to the “crime” of “playing his instrument a lot” with sending a swarm of harpies on the town then blaming Storkules for it and casting him out. What’s most shocking is not the action, this is honestly him staying the course of being a fucking disgrace, but that Zeus somehow ISN’T the biggest asshole i’ve dealt with this week. No that honor is reserved as always for this bitch:

Keep in mind she manages to be this obnoxious in only TWO scenes. Also keep in mind I had to put up with Julie for a MUCH larger chunk of the previous two volumes I covered before volume 5 yesterday for my Scott Pilgrim Retrospective and she is ALWAYS like this and you now feel my pain.

This does create a problem though: Zeus casts Storkules out until he’s a responsible adult.. and thus paints Storkules as the bad guy... in a situation where the only other person in the story sent a swarm of HARPIES down at him for simply playing his music too loud. It just dosen’t work as a catalyst: Storkules objectively did nothing wrong. The only person he annoyed was a person who clearly dosen’t love, respect or like his son in any way shape or form anyway and essentially assaulted him and a bunch of innocent people via harpie and then cast him out. Zeus is an abusive asshole and i’ts weird the narrative sides with HIM and not our well meaning doofus. Zeus being an asshole with harpies is not a bad catalyst for the episode, and the harpies being unleashed is used well.. it’s just not a good catalyst for THIS story to try and portray an abuser as in the right. And make no mistake Zeus is a domestic abuser: he had his son mind controlled to try and MURDER innocent people, something Storkules begged him not to do, sent a swarm of creatures after him for the crime of playing his music too loud and in his next episode manipulatives Storkules sad emotional state for personal gain. Why would you try and paint THIS jackass as in the right?

Speaking of painting this jackass in the right sadly.. this episode does not do my boy donald justice. In most episodes he’s pretty nuanced and i’ts fair enough he’d be frustrated by Storkules as a roomate. Storkules has little sense of personal space, breaks his stove thinking theirs hydra in it, makes a mess of the kitchen making them a meal, and in general clearly dosen’t know how to live with a roomate much less in modern society. He has valid concerns and the episode COULD have used it that way.. but he’s also horribly impatient with Storkules. He refuses to get the guy just hasn’t had to live in a modern society and dosen’t know HOW to function in it and instead of helping him just gets mad again and again and gets really pissed when it’s clear Storkules dosen’t have a job and didn’t consider paying rent. He’s not WRONG to want him to pay Rent, despite what ironically the musical Rent would try and have you believe, but he dosen’t have any patience with the guy. And stork isn’t nearly coming on as strong as he normally does. The worst he does is cook the guy lunch and bring his donald fan art with him. Which we don’t see but I am assuming is mostly naked. What i’m saying is for once that while still bombastic, Storkules isn’t trying to force a relationship/friendship on him and simply wants to learn t be an adult from his best friend.. and Donald isn’t bothering teaching him.

Asking for rent or for him not to destroy the stove is fine, but not explaining WHY he needs either of those things or why he needs boundaries, he makes a roomate list, isn’t helping the guy. And this would be fine... but the episode dosen’t call Donald out on it for no real reason. It feels like it’s setting up for a “you should learn to wokrk with someone instead of just screaming at them aseop” that never comes and like with Zeus takes his side because shutup. I’d also LIKE to say this is the only time the writers reduced one of the cast to a caracture of themselves.. but I can’t. Several episodes in season 3 forgot Louie’s character development and another episode in season 2, The Duck Knight Returns!, somehow reduced both Scrooge and Dewey to parodies of themselves with Scrooge SOMEHOW, despite Della as stubborn as she is being in his care and by his side for decades and Movies bein ga huge business, not having seen a movie since the 1920′s and not knowing how they work and Dewey being reduced to just hyperactive moron. It isn’t as common as other shows like say Regular Show, The Loud House or, for the exact reason I lost intrest, Rick and Morty, but I still expect better, especially since they went into this season KNOWING Donald would be gone for half of it and this would likely be one of his only spotlight episodes.

Back at the good part of the plot, Louie is having a company meeting aka already treating Huey and Webby like his employees. Webby of course is glad to sign on, if little help in actually coming up with a product while Huey just wants to nope out. And if your wondering why Dewey isn’t involved Louie outright says he’d make a bad employee and while Dewey rises from his bed to object.. he stops halfway to opening his mouth and concludes he has a point. Best gag of the episode. Louie being louie easily cons Huey into staying by making Webby his charts officer.

So the three have a corporate retreat at Funso’s... granted they don’t have a product but Louie figures this might help. Huey.. still wants out of this and suggest since they already spent what they had on ski ball “Company over?”. It’s clear that Huey just sees this as another one of Louie’s short sighted schemes... and while he’s not ENITRELY wrong, Louie has genuine ambition.. he just has no earthly idea what he’s doing and is shooting way too high.. but for understandable reasons. 1) He’s 11 at this point. 11 year olds aren’t great at business strategy or reinging it in. 2) he wants to live up to what Scrooge said to prove he can be successful and really be worth something like his mom was.

But sometimes fate throws you one and the harpies bust in. And while Louie wants to do nothing and hope they go away Huey and Webby spring into action.. as does Storkules, who had to leave but warns donald there’s Orzo in the slowcooker and to not open it “LEST THE PASTA FAIL TO ABSORB THE BROTH!” Which is just.... Chris’ best line dleivery the episode. He says it like he’s saying the title of an old Stan Lee and Jack Kirby comic, i’ts wonderful.

So our heroes defeat them and Louie steps in to charge for the service and quickly comes up with a company idea and name “Harp-B-Gone” (A Subsidary of Louie Inc). Louie hires Storkules on the spot. Storkules proudly tells Donald he has a job the next day and goes off to it. What follows is our heroes hilarously shooting a commerical with Storkules playing a baby to promote themselves so they can help who needs it. They just need to find out what they want.. and thanks to the JWG and the harpies stealing it find out they go after people’s most treasured posessions Cue Ghostbusters-Style Montage

And this isn’t just me saying thing. The Rewriting History Entry (Which as a series weirdly stops around mid-season 2 and I don’t get why frank hasn’t gone back and finished it since) states they specifically based this whole operation on ghostbusters and the entire sequence of our heroes cleanin up the town reminds me of it. The highlight of it is a glomgold cameo where he’s kidnapped.. and refuses to pay so Louie just lets him go. And were this an innocent person who couldn’t afford it, i’d call him a monster.. but it’s glomgold. he brought this on himself.. and also sues himself for it. Wonder if he won.

So with their stars rising, our heroes get booked on the hottest show in town: Dewey Dew-Night! I had honestly forgotten there was a Dewey Dew-Night segment in there, and delighted I get to talk about this recurring bit. It’s one of the shows funniest runners and just perfectly FITS Dewey: of course the most egotistical and energetic of the kids would not only want to be a late hnight host but make up his own show. I also love the slow evolution of it: it started as something everyone clearly knew about but he stlill tried to keep hidden, slowly escalated to him allowing the rest of his siblings (Webby very much included) and the giant man who stalks his uncle in, and by later this season he’s putting the show online in the web shorts and gladly shooting it into space, with Season 3 having him spend the first half of let’s get dangerous making a documentary that includes an episode of the show featuring Darkwing. It’s a small thing sure, but it’s the little things like this that make the show special.

The show does reveal a problem though as it turns out they’ve GOT all the harpies and while Storkules merely wanted to help, Louie points out they need more to keep a buisness going and naturally never bothered to ask Storkules just how many there were. They need SOME plan to get going. Webby submits a legitamte and great idea, training the harpies as she’s been trying to do in the background of the episode and aside from a hole in the floor they are starting to listen. But Huey is an ass about it and not only shoots it down saying let’s keep the dangerous creatures contained, even though A) he has no idea WHERE they’ve been kept so he can’t verify it’s safe, and since i’ts Donald’s Closet no no it’s not. and B)There’s no where he knows of to keep them. He isn’t aware of the other bin till next season. and C) it’s not ehtical to keep creatures locked up forever epsecially since while the harpies are dangerous they arent’ MALEVOLENT and are clearly acting on instinct. oh and for D) at least she has a plan to keep the company going instead of just wanting to end this and cash out.

Which Huey tries to.. but naturally Louie spent all their money on...

So their broke.. and Storkules has no rent money and feels like a failure despite having done NOTHING wrong. We do get a clever little nod to Disney’s hercules though “I”m not a hero, i’m a zero”. Webby rightfully glares at Louie who decides to fix it... by sneaking into Donald’s house that night to free the harpies.

Though to the shows credit it’s a VERY bad idea, and Storkules coming in mid attempt and congradulating Louie when he lies about checking the door gets the kid to come clean. And it’s a nice character moment: He could still go through with it.. but it’s clear he realizes just HOW low he was about to sink to save his own skin and that as much as Storkules WANTS a paycheck and deserves one, it’s not worth hurting people to get it. Louie tries to justify after this.. but can’t.

Unforutnately Donald took a lot of stupid pills this episode, yells about his no pets rule and frees them instead of you know, THINKING for five minutes.

So yeah NATURALLY Donald is an angry shit about it , refusing to actually TALK to Storkules about this or maybe admit this is partly HIS OWN FAULT. Yes their both at fault, Storkules shoudln’t of shoved a bunch of harpies in a closet. That’s a classic blunder. But Donald still opened it and isn’t called out on taking zero responsibility. Huey sees the fracas and just takes down their days without an accident placard, good stuff and he and webby arrive to help. Donald fights with Storkules and Storkules worries about loosing his friend.. lead to them going after the thing he values most aka donlad and hyjacking the house boat, though the kids manage to get aboard.

As Storkules saves Donald, Louie realizes the most precious thing he has is his merch and willingly gives it, and his buisness up to save everyone. It’s good character stuff and shows that despite his problems with greed, Louie IS a good kid and will do the right thing. It’s what seperates him from the Rouges Gallery the family faces: He has FLEXIBLE morals but he has morals when it comes down to it. So everyone tosses the stoff to help direct the hapries and make it home tying them up. Donald has a heart to heart with Storkules and agrees to help him find another place, but still considers him a friend and they hug. Awww. One intresting thing I DID find out from rewriting history is they originally fully intended to have Storkules STAY on the houseboat. He was going to be a permenant member of the household, at least as far as Season 2 was concenred and plans were made for several episodes down the road: the whole bit with him in “The Golden Spear” was simply because he lived there, he was going to be the one Della met in the houseboat, obliviously guilting her about what she’d missed, and he was going to set off the kids subplot in “Whatever Happened to Donald Duck?”

This ended up not happneing for logistical reasons: Frank, and I swear this was the term he used, felt they already had the perfect Himbo in Launchpad and it was just too much HImbo energy for the two to coexist without one taking the others screen time or neither getting a lot.

The next reason was having a god around simply broke the story: He cited the gilded man from “Nothing Can Stop Della Duck!” as a specific example. There were just too many hoops to jump to have him not break any story he should be around for. Finally with Della being added to the cast soon there simply wasn’t room in the main cast. Della brought it up to 9, Storkules would make it 10, and as i’ve gone on about the show already had trouble ballancing it’s cast, something Frank admitted to. Adding him would both be too big a stiatus quo change and be one on top of the massive one of Della joining the cast. So he was dropped back to recurring and only showed up one more time. And while it was the right call I am dismayed he didn’t show up for the whatever happened to donald duck subplot and it does feel very weird he never adresses Donald being gone despite, at least for season 2, apparently living in Duckburg. Otherwise though as funny as this wouldv’e been.. yeah it was the right call.

Scrooge returns... having been absent all episode because otherwise it wouldn’t work and easily saw Louie loosing it all coming.. but gives him a can of lemonade for his troubles and comforts the boy. The heart of htis arc and what makes it work at it’s best.. is these two. Scrooge GENUINELY wants to help Louie see his potetial successor in buisness: oh sure adventure wise he’s throughly covered.. but Webby, Dewey and Della all are more focused on the addventure part and that’s where their passion and talent lies, Huey’s better at science and given his close frinedship with fenton and how much that part of things seems to truly inspire him, i’ts what he was born for, and Donald just wants a regualar life and can’t manage his own life much less a company.

Louie is the only one in his family whose the right fit to inhereit that part of his legacy and I feel that’s why he takes a special intrest in him and webby over the other two: While he loves all of them and will clearly again leave a piece of his fortune and empire to all of them, Webby is the most like him, as we later find out not coincidentally in the slightest, when it comes to adventuring and curosity and a love of exploration. But Louie is the most like him in other ways; He’s cynical, money driven and passionate. Scrooge simply wants him to be as good a person and buisnessperson as he can be and is trying to push him in the right direction. And does so here by pointing out that failure isn’t a huge problem..it happens, comes with the terriotiry and as we’ve seen with life and times, even with portions of it clearly not happening in this universe, he failed a LOT to get here. What matters is that he tries and tries to do it the right way.

Scrooge also sympathizes as he was buying a lemonade company in cape suzette, giving Louie the can as a present... but laments there’s no cheap effective way to deliver the lemons. Louie notices the harpies going after the can after he throws it and Webby controlling them with it and muses that theyd idn’t think about what THEY wanted.. nad rightfully gets punched across the lawn by Webby, whose had to spend an entire episode having her surrogate brothers talk down to her and ignore her valid ideas. She dosen’t even open her eyes she just bops him one.

So we end with Scrooge having enlisted the hapries, Louie trying to take credit again and both realizing they might just steal the lemons instead of work for them. Ha ha ha their going to get so sued.

Final Thoughts: This one was mediocre. It has some good points, Louies arc continues to fascenate me, Huey’s done with this shit attitude is hilarous, and Storkules is at his best in this episode: his crush on Donald is toned down from this..

To this

To the point I could see shipping them off this one if Storkules episode didn’t have him do eveyrthing short of .. well see above. So it’s not WITHOUT merit: I love me a ghost busters style plot, there are great jokes and Chris Dimatopolis is a gem as always. Glad he’s getting work after this show on Invincible and hope he gets to play Darkwing again some day. But the Donald stuff and the fairly predictable plot drag this one down. I’ts fairly obvious they’ll run out of harpies, Louie will have spent the money and they’ll somehow get free. It’s not a terrible episode but it’s it’s sandwiched story wise between two straight up classics on both sides: the previous two episodes were even better than I remembered and the next two are incredibly good: Whateve Happened to Della Duck?! is one of their finest hours and The Outlaw Scrooge McDuck, while not making my best of list for the series as a whole is still one of my favorites for the season. It’s just disapointing this one wasn’t nearly as good as I remmebered and it’s understandable why I forgot almost all of it, unlike the previous two episodes. Thankfully as I said better’s over the horizon.

NEXT TIME ON OF MOONS, MILLIONARES AND MOTHERS: I’m taking a break for a week. One of two weeklong breaks for the arc, the other being the first week of July where i’m on vacation anyway (Though i’ll be doing the episode I would’ve done for that week the week before to keep the pace up, so no worries),

As for why, it’s my utmost honor to announce GOOF WEEK! Goof Week is a weeklong celebration of Goofy’s birthday. The idea came about because as I do for the big three, I intended to just do a shorts special. But Kev , the guy who made this very review possible, suggested doing the two part Goof Troop pilot. And since kev pays for a house of mouth episode a month anyway and thaks to you lovely people I hit my patreon stretch goal to review the goofy movie, I figured “why not make a week out of it. Hence Goof week. So next week we’ll have a review of the two part pilot for Goof Troop, the special Sports Goof, the House of Mouse episode Super Goof, your regularly schedule shorts spectacular, with The Goofy Movie for the grand finale! yaaahoooooieeee!

When we come back i’ll be shuffling episodes around slightly so I can do the Della comics from the Ducktales Tie-In Comic before her debut and in time for Donald’s own theme week in June, i’ll be saving “Whatever Happened to Della Duck?” for the week after Donald Week. Instead next we get a fun wild west adventure as Scrooge tells a story of his outlaw days, his tension with goldie and his encounter with a certain robber baron as John D Rockerduck FINALLY makes his screen debut. Yee-Haw!

If you liked this review, subscribe and follow for more and consider joining my patroen, patreon.com/popculturebuffet. I have exclusive reviews, my most recent duck based one being an obscure carl barks story about wigs and the boys attempting to murder a guy with a blow gun, and your contribution helps me reach my goals and thus gets everyone, patreon or not, a bunch of neat new reviews. If you get me to 20 dollars a month, i’m currently at 15, EVERYONE will get a monthly darkwing duck reviews, reviews of the two remaning ducktales 87 mini series including the origin of GIZMOOOODDUUUUUCCCKKKK, and a review of the Danny Phantom movie The Ultimate Enemy. And with the month running out NOW’S the time to join. YOu’ll also get to pick one of the shorts for my Donald Duck birthday specail next month, so if you want to join in NOWS the time. But wether you can or you can’t, thank you for reading, i’ts been a pleasure.

#ducktales #louie duck #storkules in duckburg #dorkules #donald duck #storkules #scrooge mcduck #webby vanderquack #huey duck #flintheart glomgold #dewey duck #funzos #disney #disney+#disney plus #disney xd #harpies

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saphirered · 4 years ago

Note

Hi! I saw that you were in the mood for writing, and I had a request! It's kind of vague I'm sorry, but would you mind writing a caleb ×(human cleric) reader where the reader tries to help caleb through his emotional pain instead of physical pain like a regular cleric would, and it just is super sad and sweet and ends with a kiss? Thank you sm!!

I hope this one’s to your liking! Thank you for requesting.

You’re wandering around the tower not nearly sleepy enough to actually get some decent rest. What could you say, you are a bit of a night owl and you’re still processing the battle earlier today while wandering around. Going floor to floor, common room to common room, talking to the cats and playing with them until you began feeling tired while the others retreated to their own rooms. You eventually recognised Frumpkin coming from one of the small doorway shoots and call him over.

“Hey buddy. What are you up to?” You get a meow in response as he nudges against your leg so you kneel down and give him some pets. Before you know it you’re sitting on the floor playing with Frumpkin taking out the lace from around one of your sleeves to wiggle around as the cat happily jumps at it trying to catch it. You laugh until Frumpkin seems to get tired.

“Are you getting sleepy? Maybe I should let get back to Caleb then?” You pet him and he meows once more practically jumping into your arms.

“Okay I’ll take you back if that’s what you want.” You lift up the cat in your arms as he makes himself comfortable and go up to Caleb’s room. When you reach the right floor Frumpkin jumps from your arms when you see Caleb rubbing at his forehead eyes clenched shut letting out a slight hiss of discomfort.

“Caleb? Are you alright?” Your voice spooks him as he jumps slightly and blinks quickly.

“Ja. I’m fine.” You walk over to him and he looks a little pale, eyes once you actually see them are slightly bloodshot and sunken and forehead sweaty.

“You don’t look fine. Let me help.”

“I will be alright. I don’t think this is something you can fix.” He gives you a sad smile and goes to move on back into his room.

“Try me. If you don’t at least tell me I won’t be able to help and if you do and I can’t nothing changes. What do you have to lose?” You try to convince him. You’re worried. With a deep sigh he holds out his hand for you. You take it and he leads you into his room. It’s very barren, no stained glass windows like in yours and the furniture is very simplistic.

“Should I cast a quick cure wounds?” You offer and he nods as he leads you over to the couch and sits you both down onto it facing each other. You cast the spell but not much seems to change. You frown and try casting it again but not much seems to change.

“It’s not working?” Caleb asks more than states. It should work… Unless whatever ails him is not of physical nature. You can cure aches, numb pain and stitch wounds back together but only of the physical kind. Magic would not help here.

“No. Which is why I will repeat my question from before; are you alright?” You look at him with worry and he seems hesitant.

“I-uh… no. I’m not alright.” It takes him a good while to speak the words. “It’s stupid. I should just go to sleep. I’ll be fine in the morning.” He’s about to get up but you stop him.

“Caleb, you’re hurting. It’s not stupid. It’s okay to not be alright as longs you don’t bottle it up. That pain won’t go away until you face it and deal with it appropriately.”

“You make it sound so easy.” He gives you a sad smile.

“It’s not. I’m going to ask you to do a very difficult thing, what might be one of the most difficult things you’ve ever done. Face whatever you’re pushing away. Don’t let it consume you. Face it. And if you feel comfortable talking about it I am here for you. If you prefer to not speak it out loud I will still be here for you but please do not drown in a pool of your own pain.” You practically beg him and you can see him struggle even though he does not meet your eye.

“I can’t help but take responsibility for this intertwinement with the Assembly. The risk you are all at, your families, your friends. I shouldn’t have been so naive as to believe I would be truly free of them and because of that everyone is now trapped in this web. I’m afraid I… I’m afraid. Scared because I do not want this to fall apart. I’ve already lost one family at my own hands. I can’t- I really can’t lose another.” The cracks become more apparent and eventually Caleb breaks burying his head in his hands taking deep breaths. You sit closer to him and rub his back before wrapping an arm around him. He puts his head on your shoulder, rubbing at his face.

“I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry for dragging you into this. This shouldn’t be your burden to bear.” Caleb wraps his arms around you biting back tears. You hated seeing him like this. Not because you didn’t want to, because him opening up to you like this and putting his trust in you when he felt most vulnerable is a blessing and an honour but you cannot help but feel hatred and anger towards those who put such a bright and good individual on such a path and break him down.

“It’s not yours to bear either. It should never have been your burden to bear.” You lean your head against the top of his softly brushing your fingers through his hair.

“You told someone once; you’re not born with venom in your veins. And it seems to me that you believe that but you also believe there is still venom in your own veins. Lucky you because I happen to know how to make antidotes. You’re a good man with a good heart, Caleb. The good ones are most often also the ones to take the blame for things out of their control because ‘what if’s. You can’t change the past and you can’t right what you never wronged in the first place. But you can work towards a better future and that is exactly what you have been doing, what you are doing.” He grabs your free hand between both of his and kisses it.

“You’re too kindhearted and forgiving for your own good sometimes.” He whispers.

“Maybe I am. Maybe I’m not. Or maybe you’re just trying to find any sense or hint that I might be wrong or lying because that’s easier to accept. It’s what you’re prone to do; blame yourself for things you have no control over. So I will make you a promise. Every time you struggle, have a hard time, doubt yourself, need comfort or a shoulder to cry on, I will promise you I won’t ever tell you what you need to hear. I will instead tell you the truth. You may not always like it or agree with it but it is the truth and I will help you see it if that’s what it takes.” Another kiss is placed on your palm.

“You have no idea how much I love you. And I have no idea what I have done to deserve such a loving and kind and good person in my life but I know my world is brighter for it.”

“You best not forget. As for what you’ve done, nothing. You didn’t need to do anything but be yourself because I love you for you. Now, will you hold me to my promise or Erathis preserve me, do I need to kick your ass for it to sink in?” Caleb musters a smile, a genuine one.

“I promise I will hold you to it. And I promise to make use of it. Changing times.” He looks at you and from his expression you can read he’s truthful. That’s all the confirmation you need.

“So will you try to stop blaming yourself for things you have no control over?” You ask with a raised eyebrow not entirely serious as this is not a something to be resolved so quickly or easily. Instead of a reply he gives you a deep long kiss. When you pull apart you poke at his chest.

“That’s not an answer Widogast.” You tease, his mood seemingly lightening.

“Small steps.” He smiles placing his lips on yours once more to spend the rest of the night in each other’s comfort and embrace. Small steps but steps nonetheless. That’s all you could ask for.

#critical role x reader #mighty nein x reader #critrole x reader #caleb widogast x reader

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lyallblacklupin · 4 years ago

Text

Don’t miss the Yule Ball.

Sirius finally opens up to James Potter, and he realizes a lot of things. He has decided he will go the yule ball, but the question is: with whom?

Tags: Post-Incident with Severus Snape, Angst with Happy Ending, Getting Back Together, Trust Issues.

Chapter 3

Sirius kept chewing his first bite for a little longer than he was supposed to, because Remus had left the Great Hall looking apprehensive, and gruesome. He sighed through his breakfast, waiting for the day to get by. He was pushing down all the unnecessary thoughts and emotions because he didn’t want to expect anything from anyone, especially how the last night had turned out.

He had woken up with a better feeling—if he had to be honest with himself—because Remus had finally not just smiled at him but hugged him with genuine earnest and he had held him until Sirius was done crying. The memory was painfully sweet in his head. Nevertheless, he was slightly hopeful than yesterday. Remus had always tried to bring the best out of him. The tug of war in his brain about his friendship and relationship with Remus was easing out in his mind, while also clenching his heart. He took another bite of his porridge, and thought that he should stop worrying about normalcy. He realized that wanting normal with this desperation was going to make him fall in the pits of agitation. He was not able to deal with another heartache. For once, he wanted to give his heart a break.

He gulped down his bite, and he decided he was going to the same with his desires and dreams. He was going to be grateful of the things he had in life; Good friends, miles away from his abusive parents, good education, and especially, his magic. He was himself because he knew how to kindle fire by the swipe of his fingers, he could wave his wand and conjure blue stardust while walking alone in the forest, and he could conjure a patronus to keep the sadness away for a while.

His thinking cycle came to a halt when James and Peter rushed to the hall, and haphazardly began swallowing their breakfast. Sirius was so captured seeing them not uttering a word and gulping down their teas and milk in one breath.

“Merlin, Pads—could have told us—“ James was managing to breathe while munching his toasts, debauching all the manners and etiquettes of eating by spraying the breadcrumbs everywhere on the table.

“Wow, Prongs, you really know how to eat.” Sirius laughed amusingly. Both of the Marauders glared at him. And once they were done, James said that they were already five minutes late for Transfiguration. This time Sirius didn’t think of manners at all, and stumbled out his seat as the three of them raced to the classroom. The air whooshed through them as they pushed through the crowd of students and teachers who shouted things like ‘Hey! Watch it!’ and ‘5 points from Gryffindor!’

The air smelled of nostalgia as Sirius felt the adrenaline in his blood and giddiness in his stomach. The three of them were running like they used to when Filch would catch them and they would hide in the broom cupboards for hours until the course were clear, and then they would laugh like maniacs. It felt all the same to Sirius when they reached the classroom, and he was getting breathless in the most satisfying way. The doors opened, stealing everyone’s attention. Mcgonacall had her usual glare, and Sirius spotted Remus sitting with Lily, his face looked scarlet which made Sirius feel the same heating flush beneath his cheeks and neck.

“Mr Potter, Mr Black and Mr Pettigrew, why is it always you three to be late in my class?” There was something different about Mcgonacall as her gaze is fixed at Sirius. He could swore that there was a hint of smile playing on her lips. She ordered them to take seats, and Peter sat with Mary while James with Sirius. The both of them had to keep hands on their mouths to suppress the bubbling laughter. James gave him a playful nudge, his eyes were whispering something meaningful, and Sirius felt a gush of affection for him.

The day went by with Double Transfiguration with the Slytherins, Charms with Ravenclaws, and Double History of Magic with the Hufflepuffs. James and Sirius were walking to the common room to put their books and notes and then return to the dinner with the rest of Marauders.

“So, Padfoot…” James smirked at him, “I have an unbelievable news to share with you.”

“Have you finally learn not to make a fool of yourself?” Sirius got a harsh fling of James’ arm around his shoulder that he staggered in his pace, almost collapsing on the floor but James held him firmly.

“Hey, hey, hey,” James’ voice was soaked with concern, “You okay? I’m sorry I didn’t know I was that harsh.”

“No, it was not harsh.” Sirius managed to say but the other didn’t seem convinced. He was getting some serious brain-fogs from the past few days, and he hadn’t told anyone yet, not even Madam Pomfrey.

“Then what was that, Sirius? What is going on? Are you not well?” Those were so many questions for Sirius to answer. He didn’t want to disrupt his day which was finally going better for the first time in forever. However with James’ big hazel eyes were staring at him like that as if they were saying hundreds of things to him he felt the urge to tell him everything—by everything meant everything.

And then they didn’t return for dinner, they were in their dorm alone with no interruption. Sirius told him how frequently he had been experiencing panic attacks, and how much tired he felt, like always, how he felt like his bones were feeble, and his muscles were aching, how he was also experiencing constant brain-fogs. And then, he also told him how he was dealing with emotional pain the most, how constantly he was thinking and trying to commit act of self-harm, and how much he was thinking how he had let the Marauders down. James listened him very carefully with full attention, nodded in the right places and shushed him when Sirius talked about how much he missed Remus. He was struggling to get louder because his voice was not cooperating with him. He was gushing out all of the emotions which were buried in the depths of him. He cried at some parts but he was calm because James’ hand was there squeezing his arm, and rubbing his back. When they were done, they fell into comfortable silence, and Sirius felt as light as a feather.

“So what was the good news?” Sirius said to break the silence.

“Uh…” James smiled weakly at him, “I asked Evans to go with to the ball as my date and she said yes.”

Sirius smiled at him genuinely, “I’m happy for you, Prongs.” He hit him with a playful punch but James didn’t respond too much. He looked sad, and it was awkward. Sirius never wanted that. They fell into another round of silence before he felt two arms wrapped from his behind, tugging there. Sirius put his hands on James’, sitting under the cloud of melancholy.

“I’m sorry, Padfoot. You were keeping a lot inside of you. I don’t like when you do that.” Sirius smiled warmly at his mildly aggressive voice, “I am your brother, and you are supposed to tell me that. And all of that. Everything, buddy. I love you, you know that right?”

“There is no reason to be a sap, Potter.” Sirius elbowed him, “But yeah, and I love you, too. Always have and always will.”

“Look, who’s a bigger sap now.”

“Okay, Evans said yes—“ Sirius pulled away to face him, but he was cut off by James in mid-sentence.

“For the ball. I don’t want to get my hopes up.”

“Who are you and what have you done with my best friend?”

James didn’t smile. There was still something despondent about him. After a brief silence, he said, “Pads, this may sound a little weird but hear me out…” Sirius nodded, “You should ask Moony for tomorrow.”

“Oh no, no, no, no,”

“Why!?” James whined.

“’Why’? What do you mean ‘why’? Out of all people, you should not be the one to say that.”

“No, Padfoot, I should be the person to say that! You told me how he encouraged to go to the ball. I mean, why would he? Either he is trying to be your mom and asking you to have fun or he is giving signals for you to ask him to be your date for the ball!”

“Considering Remus, he was definitely being a mother-hen.”

“Think about it, Moony doesn’t easily like someone. He never dated anyone except you because you are the one he fell in love with, you tosser!

That’s when the door swung open, revealing Remus and Peter which confused looks. Sirius felt like his heart was in his throat.

“Thought we’d find you guys here.” Peter said, throwing his satchel on his bed, “Why did you miss dinner?”

“Oh, we completely lost track of time.” Sirius said successfully because the room had started to feel small with Remus’ presence, “We should go to the kitchen, Prongs.” He was hoping he could just skip the anxiety and continue his chance of talking out with James more. He was talking after ages, and it felt lighter and easy. Suddenly, he was very grateful for having James Potter in his life.

“Oh, you know what, you stay here. Wormy and I will bring food for you.” James piped up with his stupid grin, and Sirius began to have second thoughts on being grateful of James.

“What!?” Peter retorted, “But I just came back!”

“And you could come back again, my best friend Wormy!” Sirius scowled at James who in returned gave him a thumbs-up, gesturing to talk to Remus who was putting down his books in on his nightstand. Soon, the whiny Peter and an overly-smart James were out of the dorm, leaving him and Remus alone.

Sirius was fidgeting with his fingers anxiously, gazing at Remus’ back.

“I can feel you staring at me.” Sirius thought he was completely frozen. Remus turned to face him, smiling small at him.

“Yeah…” Sirius let out a breathless chuckle, “I was just…”

Awkward silence.

“Remus, I wanted to ask you something and if you don’t think the same way, I would completely understand.” His heart was hammering in his chest. Remus nodded at him. He took a deep breath and finally the words were out, “Will you go to the ball with me as my date?”

Extremely awkward silence. Remus was opening and closing his mouth to say something but no words were audible enough as an answer to Sirius. That’s because he doesn’t have any answer, Sirius thought to himself.

“Sirius…” Remus finally said, “I can’t.”

It wasn’t like Sirius wasn’t expecting this, but it still hurt him like a dagger shot right into his heart.

“I mean…” Remus continued, scratching the back on his head or pulling his sleeve, “it’s not like I don’t want to, because I do…A lot, actually…”

His voice was turning croaky, and Sirius was able to see that it was not easy for Remus either.

“But, I already have a date.” This time it hurt more than earlier. Sirius wanted to laugh, and he did. Remus froze, looking dumbfounded. It was a strange thing that hurting not always accompany the act of shedding tears. Sirius was actually laughing at himself that he was a fool to believe, like actually believe.

“Of course, of course,” Sirius wiped the tears in the corner of his eyes, “Of course, you have a date. How can you not?” He was shaking his head, still unable to control his laugh. It was a very wrong judgment.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2

Chapter 4 coming soon!

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harrytpotter · 4 years ago

Text

RIGHT PLACE, WRONG TIME — Part V

Plot: Y/N finds herself trapped in a time in which she doesn’t belong only to learn that maybe that was her place all along.

Pairing: James Potter x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Mild cursing.

A/N: First, sorry for the delay in posting this! I had some personal things going on and didn’t have the time to stop and write. Also, this chapter is a little shorter than usual because it’s mostly a filling-in one! Thanks everyone for your thoughts about this imagine so far, hope you guys enjoy this chapter! ;)

Once you arrived for transfiguration, the class had already started. As you entered the room, McGonagall glared severely at you. You mutter a quiet apology as you start walking to your usual sit next to Lily. However, before you could approach the redhead, a paper ball hits you in the head. Turning on your heels with a fulminant look on your face, you’re met by Amos’ amused smile. As you frown confused, he pointed to the seat next to him.

“Did you really have to hit me in the head with a paper ball?” You roll your eyes at him, whispering as you sat down.

“Well, I figured that it’s only fair that we spend more time together since we’ve been seeing each other,” he grinned playfully, mimicking double quotes with his fingers.

“You’re such a delight, Diggory,” you roll your eyes at him again, this time with a grin on your face.

You diverge your attention from him when your eyes land on Lily, who looked at you quite seriously. She didn’t say anything but you could hear her ‘what the hell?!’ loud and clear inside your head. Lily then motioned in James’ direction. Once you looked at him, you felt your stomach sink. He was staring at you and Amos with a sad expression, the hurt so clear in his eyes. You lower your head, awfully aware of the disappointed glances you were getting from all of your best friends, who rightfully stood by James’ side.

“Why don’t you just tell him the truth?” Amos says after studying your face for a while.

“Amos, please, we’ve been over this already,” you bury your face into your hands.

“Have we? Seriously, Y/N, I think you’re making a terrible mistake here. You fancy each other, besides it’s clearly bloody killing you to see him hurt like that,” he frowns worriedly.

“Why are you so worried about my wellbeing or James’ for that matter? It’s not like you and I have been friends forever,” you say a little harshly, trying to change the subject. “Sorry, I’m just... so bloody frustrated.”

“That’s okay, really. But to answer your question, I’m a sucker myself for a good love story,” he grins teasingly, lifting his brows and earning a laugh from you. “And as odd as it may sound, I do care about you, L/N. You’re just... extremely likable.”

“I’m sorry, are we disturbing the two of you?” McGonagall’s voice startled you and Amos. She had a brow lifted and her nostrils were dangerously inflated.

“Oh, please! You could never bother us, Minnie!” You joke as you realize all eyes were on you and Diggory, so you had to pretend everything was fine. “You do teach the best subject in the school’s curriculum after all.”

“Then I suggest you two quit chatting and start paying attention to my class,” she shoots back. Her lips were pressed in a thin line but you could swear you saw a shadow of a smile creep in there for a split second.

“I’m afraid Miss L/N won’t be paying much attention to your class today, Professor McGonagall,” Dumbledore’s voice waved from the doorstep. He had a serene and kind smile on his face. “Can I borrow her for a second?”

“Thank Godric!” You mutter to yourself, a sudden relief washing you. You were finally going to get back home, to your easy, romantically boring and happy life alongside with Harry, Ron and Hermione. Weren’t you?

McGonagall sighed heavily and shrugged before motioning for you to go. You quickly got your stuff together and followed the Headmaster to his office.

***

“So, can I go home already?” You ask barely waiting until you crossed the doors, your heart beating faster and full of hope.

“Not yet, I’m afraid,” Dumbledore offers you a sympathetic smile, sitting on his chair and pointing the one in front of him for you.

“But, sir, I’ve been here for weeks already,” you furrowed your brows in despair, occupying the offered seat.

“Time-turners are very temperamental and complex devices, Miss L/N. It can take some time before it gets fully functioning again; I told you that,” he interlaced his hands, lowering his head a little so he could look straight into your eyes.

“Pardon me, sir, I don’t want to sound rude, but... If you didn’t summon me here to bring me home, then why am I here at all?” You ask curiously.

Dumbledore just smiled at you whilst taking a few seconds to think. “I thought you could use the talking.”

You open your mouth but shut it immediately as you see him lifting a brow at you. You lower your eyes, thinking of what to say. You knew Dumbledore wanted to know why you had this rush to leave — given the dozen owls you sent him along the week — when you had a lot of close friends in this current timeline who you’d definitely miss and would definitely miss you as well. But how were you supposed to open up to him? How were you supposed to just open your mouth and say ‘yeah, you see, I fell in love with my best friend’s dad and ‘m actually besties with his mom as well, ha! Talk about double betrayal!”

“How is Mr. Potter? — James, I mean,” he asks bluntly, adding the latter after he noticed you were about to deflect the real question by mentioning Harry.

“He’s... alright, I guess,” you shrug, trying to look unimpressed.

“Is he? I don’t think that anyone who doesn’t have their best friend by their side can be classified as alright,” he smiled, his glare intense from behind his half-moon spectacles.

“Godric, you really do know everything that happens inside these walls, don’t ya?” You look at him in awe, genuinely impressed. “Sorry, sir, I mean no disrespect,” you add suddenly, earning an amused laugh from him.

“I like to keep myself up to date, yes. But in all seriousness Miss L/N, why do you think you’re here? Why do you think you came back to this specific time in history?”

“I... I wish I could know,” you whisper.

“What is the most powerful magic in the world?”

“Yours?!” You shrug, unsure if he meant what you thought.

Dumbledore laughs, grateful for your compliment. “Though I appreciate the compliment, the most powerful magic in the world is love, Y/N.”

You stare at him, sadness taking over your face as you were lost for words once again.

“Allow yourself to remember, Miss L/N,” Dumbledore smiled warmly at you.

***

Dumbledore’s words were floating on your mind as you walked aimlessly through the castle. He was known to be quite mysterious and it didn’t surprise you that he left you with an apparently senseless puzzle in hands instead of telling you exactly what you needed to do. Well, if he did, it wouldn’t be him. At first you had thought that you had to bring Lily and James together, due to the whole love-is-the-most-powerful-magic thing. But then he had told you to allow yourself to remember. Remember what, exactly?!

“Oh, fuck it!” You huffed in frustration, running both of your hands through your hair and sliding down the wall until you were sit on the floor. You shut your eyes and kept them that way in hope that once you opened them again, you’d wake up from this horrific nightmare.

You heard someone sitting beside you, but you still didn’t dare to open your eyes. It was probably Remus, Sirius or Lily, worried about you and ready to give you a lecture about the poor choices you had made in the last 24 hours. When the person slid their arm over your shoulder, you felt at ease. Your body could recognize his touch without flinching.

“You alright, love?” James asked you when you rested your head on his shoulder.

“No. Are you?” You finally opened your eyes and studied his face. His jaw was clenched and he was staring at the wall in front of him. No jokes, no warm smile. His eyes didn’t have the usual spark of eagerness. His nearly arrogant confident vibe was gone. He almost didn’t look like himself. You sighed heavily.

“Not really,” he rested his head on top of yours, reaching for your hand.

“I’m sorry. I really am,” you said sincerely, interlocking your fingers in his.

“I miss you. I just... i can’t lose you, okay? Not now, not ever,” he sighs.

“Me too. Not having you in my life every single day is the shittiest thing that could ever happen to me, Potter,” you hug him. James finally laughs and plants a kiss on top of your head.

“Same here, sweetheart. I don’t think I can be myself if I don’t have you around. You’re... part of who I am,” he smirks softly.

You rested your forehead in the crook of his neck, your thoughts fuzzy, wishing you could just kiss him right now and allow yourself to be truly happy for the first time in your life. But being the loyal friend you were, of course you suppressed this impetus you felt whenever he was around once again.

“Come on, let’s head back to the common room and let everyone breathe a sigh of relief that we’re on speaking terms again!” He joked after a while, getting on his feet and helping you to do the same.

As you made your way into the castle, James took your hand in his. You debated with yourself wether or not you should take it away, but it felt so right that you just shook the thought. Before he could say the password as you reached the Fat Lady portrait that guarded the entrance to the Gryffindor tower, you squeezed James’ hand. “Jamie...”

“Yeah?” He gave you a smile when he turned around to face you. The same smile that always turned your legs into melted jelly and caused your heart to beat like a drum.

“Promise me we’ll never loose each other again,” you say, hugging him and smashing your eyes shut.

“I couldn’t let you go if I tried,” he hugged you as tightly as he could. “You’re too bloody important to me.”

“Are we okay?”

“Always.”

The two of you just stood there in each other’s arms, enjoying the moment as much as you could before reality came smashing into your faces. And it didn’t take long to do so.

“Alright lovebirds, are you planning on moving any time soon or you’ll just stand there blocking the entrance forever?” A bored sixth year asked.

Blushing, both you and James let go of each other and muttered an apology, whilst the fellow Gryffindor rolled her eyes with an amused smirk.

“Just get together already, it’s getting quite embarrassing to see you painfully longing for each other year after year,” she shrugs before disappearing into the hole, leaving you and James with a dumbfounded look behind.

“Quite the crowd we have, huh love?” James asks with a laugh after seeing your pink-toned face.

“I think we just became more fascinating and eagerly awaited than the quidditch matches,” you frown playfully, bitting your lower lip whilst trying to shrug off the burning feeling in your cheeks.

James stared at you with a side smirk, his eyes lowering from yours until landing on your lips. The lips that he wanted to kiss every second of every day. The lips he wished belonged to him, but bitterly remembered it was now Diggory’s.

“What’s wrong?” You squeeze his shoulder as you noticed his smile fading and his face falling.

“Nothing, love. Let’s get inside,” he forces a smile before he too disappeared into the portrait hole. You stood there for a while, partially happy that you got your friendship with James mended, but also scared that it was only going to break your heart even more, and his own in the process.

“Are you coming in dear?” You hear the Fat Lady voice from beside you.

“Yeah! I’m just... sorry,” you shake your heard confusedly before crossing the frame yourself.

———————————————

Taglist: @treestarrrrrrrr @fanfic-enthusiast-collector @jgtfvhsg @jullianerey @silver-winter-wolf

#harry potter #harry potter imagine #james potter #james potter imagine #james potter x reader #james potter x you #lily evans #remus lupin #sirius black #wizarding world #harry potter x you #harry potter x reader #right place wrong time #rpwt imagine

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padsnprongs · 4 years ago

Text

we always talk about sirius and james’ friendship, but what about sirius and lily’s?

lily taking a while to warm up to him, because she thinks he and james are one and the same, but also because she doesn’t trust him, considering his heritage

but she soon comes to the realisation that he is constantly trying to prove everyone wrong, to prove that he is nothing like his family

she sees the way the muscles in his jaw flex whenever someone calls him ‘mr black’

she sees the way he helps a scared, lost first year to find her class

she sees the way he stands up for a muggle born who is being bullied by his own ‘friends’

she sees the way his hands tremble and he quickly excuses himself every time a letter from his parents arrives with the post

she sees the longing glances he throws at the slytherin table, where a younger but practically identical version of him is sitting, shoulders hunched, laughing uncomfortably and looking as if he’d rather be anywhere else but there

they’re the same longing glances she directed at her sister during her summers back home

she knew the pain that sirius was going through, and she was the only one who understood it

as hard as they tried to understand, his three friends were only childs; they would never know a sibling’s love, nor the hollow emptiness that can never quite be replaced

she also knew how it felt to be the outcast in the family, to constantly feel like you didn’t belong, like no one quite wanted you there

And that was why she found herself following Sirius out of the great hall one dark winter morning, after noticing the way his face dropped as he read the signature on the envelope of his most recent letter.

Clutching a letter of her own, written with slow, curly writing that would never portray the shocking message it held, she excused herself from her friends’ conversation and hurried after the quick-footed boy, through corridors, up stairs, past statues, until she was rapidly running out of breath.

Finally, he reached his destination: the Astronomy Tower.

Stopping in the centre of the room, she watched as he strode over to the balcony and leant his elbows on the railing, sighing as he turned the letter over in his hands and gazed out over the Scottish mountains, still blanketed in the darkness that comes with a winter morning.

Debating on whether or not she should join him, she decided against it as she stood still, trying not to alert him to her presence.

'What are you doing, Evans?' he eventually asked in a tired voice. Lily's eyes widened as she realised what he had said. 'Erm, I don't - I'm not - nothing?' Sirius sighed as he turned around. With a jolt, Lily saw that his eyes seemed to be glistening slightly, but she didn't acknowledge it. 'You know, you're not as discreet as you think you are. I've known you were following me since you tripped on that statue.'

'Oh.'

'So?'

'So what?'

'So, what do you want?' He asked with a tired chuckle. 'I figured you were gonna walk over and start talking to me, but you've been stood in the middle of the room for the past ten minutes,' he added, with an eyebrow raised.

Lily felt herself turning red. 'I, erm... I don't know. I saw you rush out of the hall just now, and... I noticed that you do it every time you get a letter in the post, so I just-'

'Wait. Have you been watching me?' Sirius frowned.

Looking down, she replied, 'Well, I mean, I guess? I don't know, I was worried about you. You seemed upset. And I didn't just wanna go up to you and ask, because... well, let's face it, we don't exactly talk, Black.'

Her eyes barely flicked back up in time to see the boy's slight flinch at being called by his last name. Despite this, he chuckled. 'As far as I recall, you've said multiple times you don't want to talk to any of us.'

Lily's mouth curved into a smile, which didn't quite reach her eyes, but she didn't reply. Instead, she walked over to Sirius and imitated the position he had been in a few moments earlier: elbows resting on the rail, eyes flitting over the mountain peaks, the letter from her sister dangling precariously from between two fingers, as though she didn't quite mind whether she dropped it or not.

Turning around, Sirius silently mirrored her stance.

'What's that?' he asked carefully, his chin jerking towards the letter.

Lily didn't look at him as she replied, 'letter from my sister.'

Sirius' head turned to stare at her. 'This is the same sister that was on 9 and 3/4 with you?'

Lily nodded, her lips pursed.

Sirius remembered that girl. His mother had dropped him and his brother off at the platform, before nodding sharply, turning on her heel and leaving, without so much as a 'goodbye'. With a farewell smile at Regulus, who had already been engulfed by a crowd of Slytherins and had completely ignored him, Sirius had wandered off, looking for Peter, whom he had seen disappear into the hubbub earlier. That was when his eyes landed on a family of redheads, all hugging each other tearily. Evans, he thought, grinning. But then, he noticed another girl, who looked eerily similar to Lily, but was standing slightly apart from the huddle, a scowl on her face as she crossed her arms. Standing on his tiptoes to spot Lily through her parents' arms, Sirius noticed the wary glances that Lily was throwing at this girl, and tilted his head as he tried to figure out what was going on. But he didn't have long to contemplate, as just then he was ambushed by a small, grinning boy, already clutching a box of Bertie Bott's. Shaking his head, Sirius had pushed this strange, glowering sister to the back of his mind, and completely forgot about her, until now.

'I'm guessing you're not on the best of terms with her?' he asked, unsure whether he was overstepping.

Lily chuckled softly, but there was no humour in it as her lips curled upwards in disgust. 'You could say that.'

Sirius furrowed his eyebrows, contemplating what to reply. Eventually, he settled on, 'me too.'

'You too what, Black?'

Sirius brought his hand up to rub at the back of his neck, before awkwardly replying, 'um, just Sirius, is fine.' If Lily thought this was strange, she didn't mention it, instead acknowledging his request with a raised eyebrow and a nod of her head. 'And, er, I meant that I also have a sibling that... I guess I'm not on the best terms with, recently.' His sentence ended with a whisper, as he almost seemed to regret sharing this information, previously unknown to anyone, even Remus, with her.

Despite his obvious nervousness at what her reaction might be, Lily merely nodded in understanding. 'Regulus, right?'

Sirius glanced over at her, only to see an earnest, genuine expression staring back at him. 'Yeah.' he said, smiling wistfully at the thought of his baby brother.

'Petunia.' Lily supplied, with a tilt of her head.

'Um, what?'

Lily laughed. 'My sister's name. Petunia. I know your brother's name, so I figure it's only fair that you know my sister's.'

Sirius tilted his head in thought. 'Petunia. And Lily. What, did your parents have a thing for flowers or something?'

Lily nudged him with her shoulder and quirked an eyebrow, answering, 'what, did your parents have a thing for stars?'

Sirius let out a laugh, before nudging her back. 'Touché.'

Lily grinned, studying him with a tilt of her head. 'You know, you're not quite as arrogant and... self-centred as I originally thought, Bla- um, Sirius.'

Grinning, Sirius replied, 'no no, I definitely am, Lily.'

Shoving him again, she reached over and carefully removed his parents' letter from his hands. Turning them both over in her hands for a second as Sirius watched, she paused, and quietly asked, 'do you want to keep this?' with a quick look at Sirius.

Sirius, staring at the two letters, shook his head. 'No.' he whispered, with a sad smile.

Lily shrugged, before leaning off of the railing and tossing the letters, one at a time, out over the landscape like frisbees.

'Not our problem any more.'

Sirius chuckled softly, shaking his head, but glad to be rid of the weight that letter had carried.

And there they had stayed, watching as the sun rose over the mountains and painted the sky with brilliant hues of pink and orange and purple, before retreating back to the common room, bumping into each other and laughing the entire way back.

And so began an easy friendship, but also a connection that neither of them could find with their other friends. They understood what the other was going through, at least in terms of nasty letters from home, and siblings seemingly lost. Every so often, whenever one of them received an unwanted letter in the post, they would sit on the common room sofa together, long after everyone else had withdrawn to their beds, in comfortable silence by the fire, before one would take the other's letter, tilt their head in a silent do you want me to stop?, and then cast the unwelcome envelope into the flames, watching as it curled around the edges, disintegrating into ash.

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miraculouscontent · 4 years ago

Text

Askplosion #12 2/4:

.:New Miraculous Asks:.

Anonymous said:

Can people just STOP calling Marinette a "stalker"? Like, seriously? Especially TV Tropes. They have her listed under the trope for "Stalker With A Crush" and even have a video source of her(from Copycat) which was taken WAY out of context. They also listed her under "Stalking Is Funny If It Is Female After Male", which IS an existing double standard, but Marinette is still not an example and wouldn't be even if she WERE a stalker, because Wayhem's stalking actually WAS played for laughs!

Granted he was stalking another male and we don't know if he has a crush on him(but if he did it would be...unfortunate), but it's still an example. Plus, they claim that Volpina is about her learning her lesson regarding her stalker tendencies, but that no matter how many times she learns it, it never seems to stick. Yes, because everything is Marinette's fault and she's the stubborn shallow bitch who needs a kick in the ovaries, it's not, you know, the writers making her look bad/OOC!!!

THIS. ALL OF THIS.

Oh my god, I cannot tell you how infuriating it is to see “stalker” get thrown around like that. I would need two hands to count the amount of words that have lost meaning to me because people throw them out wildly and without any self-control. Stalkers engage in far more aggressive and obsessive behavior than Marinette, and usually also feature them harrassing whoever they’re stalking (such as calling them a lot), and they also never stop when they’re asked to. Marinette doesn’t fit the description of harrassment at all; Chat Noir does more than her and I don’t even call his behavior “harrassment” because that’s another word that’s lost all meaning by now and I wouldn’t use it in the first place.

Anyway, I think the Wayhem example is valid because Marinette’s crush on Adrien is written very much like a celebrity crush, so it’s similar territory.

On the note of “Volpina,” I do not understand it considering that Tikki was all on board with Marinette following Lila for the sake of getting the book back; that was one of the cases where there was an alternative motive out of just “follow Adrien” (which is not really something we see Marinette frequently doing; usually when we see her watching Adrien, it’s because she wants to approach but can’t bring herself to).

And yeah, most of the time, it’s just the narrative. The show basically puts it all on Marinette to solve all her personal problems (while constantly piling more stuff onto her) instead of getting active encouragement (no, eye rolls, verbal jabs, and groans do not count) from her friends and Tikki.

Like, what am I supposed to expect from Marinette when her friends still actively support Adrienette? By supporting Adrienette, regardless of the comments they make, they’re supporting Marinette’s behavior. Same with Tikki.

Anonymous said:

Have you noticed that with love interests of Marinette and Adrien, it's always the girls who like Adrien who are shallow, mean bitches and competition to Marinette(like Lila, Chloe, Kagami at first), while the boys who like Marinette are nice, friendly, and have no competition between each other whatsoever, sometimes not even knowing there IS competition(Adrien, Luka, Nathaniel). It's just really unfair and sexist because it's like girls can't be civil/friends and must fight over a guy.

That’s been a common topic of salt for a long while, yeah, I just don’t talk about it much.

It’s a difficult subject because I’m the type who can’t hold it against the guy characters (so I won’t dislike Kagami for “being similar to Chloe/Lila in terms of aggressiveness,” for example) because it feels wrong to, but I can hate the trend itself.

It’s also doubly unfair because Marinette’s crushes blip away quickly (like Nathaniel and Nino) while Adrien’s crushes stick around specifically to upset Marinette, so it’s like the show is saying, “if there’s a character who loves/supports Marinette, they gotta either stop or leave” (I’m pretty sure I got a “Didn’t Need Burrow” about the narrative sending Luka away and I don’t doubt it).

Anonymous said:

Personal Heacanon: Marinette and Chloé used to be friends until Marinette found out what Chloé (and Sabrina) has been using her commisions (mostly elaborate traps "to guard off thieves") for. This is why Chloé has it out for Marinette specifically. This is why everyone stood by as it happened. This is why she hates liars. This is why her "friends" are so casual at making jabs at her self-stem (they never believed she never knew what Chloé was truly up to). And also why Lila had it so easy at gaslighting everyone againts her (she's "relapsing" and it's easy to think she "deserves it").

Dang. That’s intense.

Yeah, Punch has given quite a few ideas about Marinette and Chloe previously being friends if I recall correctly. I like the idea even if I never use that kind of idea myself.

Anonymous said:

I feel like Adrien could be a really cool character if they focused less on romance? If that wasn’t his only motivation, and they developed his friendships more, and they didn’t have this entitlement. I also would like more actual friendship in regards to adrien & marinette? And him actually having interest in her but denying it bc he thinks he can only like ladybug. I feel like the sexism of the creators/writers are seeping into the character a lot and ruining it, too... It makes me really sad.

I’m hoping Adrigami will help adrien sort out a lot of his stuff bc Kagami doesn’t take any crap, and I actually really like their relationships, but I don’t have much hope. I would love for the show to use her and this relationship as a way to call out and develop adrien, but I doubt that will happen bc that would mean acknowledging his flaws. It’s just disappointing, really....

Yeah, Adrien could’ve been interesting, especially if they used Adrimi to its full potential, but they don’t. The show also has a history of letting Chat Noir get away with things and not punishing him so I wouldn’t be surprised.

Anonymous said:

Honestly, I don't even ship the love square anymore, but Fanon Adrienette is a thousand times better than canon Adrienette(the same goes for every other side of the love square, obvs). It's what the canon should be but we fans can only wish. Take, for example, the whole "she's just a friend" statement. In canon Adrien makes it because he genuinely sees Marinette as that and nothing more(which of course isn't bad, it's just sad when Marinette's always humiliated for the sake of getting his love).

In fanon, he makes it because he's actually in denial about his feelings for Marinette(which reminds me of a definition for "just a friend" on Urban Dictionary, which had Adrien drawing her name with hearts and flowers around it, and yet, when Nino asked if he had a crush, he STILL insists she's just a friend!), but realizes his mistake later.

In canon, Adrien thinks Marinette is Ladybug only because it's convenient for him since she's in love with him. In fanon, he actually does notice things about her that make her similar to Ladybug, and falls for her BEFORE knowing their identities because he sees the same qualities of bravery, strength, and femininity that he sees in Ladybug(I remember one fanfic where Marinette stood up to GABRIEL'S overprotectiveness, and Adrien could only admire how much she resembled Ladybug in that moment).

In canon, Chat is ignorant of Ladybug's feelings and agency and doesn't comfort Marinette when she's sad; instead, she has to comfort him. In fanon, Chat Noir cares about how Ladybug feels and values her agency, his jokes are genuinely funny(although canon Chat can be funny too, it's just the where and when), and he backs off when Ladybug is uncomfortable. In fanon, Chat Noir genuinely helps Marinette when she's sad and sometimes comes to see her just because, not out of plot convenience(and calls her "Purrincess" a lot more, why did the English dub just change it to "little lady"?).

It makes me think, maybe, just maybe, if these things were canon and the world was fair to Marinette, I might actually ship it; it might actually have a fighting chance against Lukanette and Adrimi. But while all these things are cute, it only makes canon more disappointing. Fanon is doing what canon should be doing. Fanon is supposed to build off of what canon gave us and expand on it. Fanon shouldn't create its own alternative because canon isn't giving us enough to chew on, it shouldn't have to.

Sadly, I think most of the fans, including the Adriennette-shipping ones, should be on some level in charge of the show; things would be SO MUCH better for the main ship(which isn't even progressing that far) and SO MUCH fairer to Marinette if that were so.

I feel this very much so. The show has been around for a long time and fandom can shape a lot of things. I think the love square wouldn’t be as beloved as it is if not for the fandom expanding on it and making it better (obviously, in some cases, they don’t make it better, but the love square is plentiful so there has to be some good takes out there).

Some shows do in fact let the fandom build off the foundation it makes and then you have things like Astruc outright lying and saying that Chat apologized in “Frozer” when he, in fact, did not, which makes everything more muddled.

maxwaspace said:

What is your opinion of the Scarlet Lady webcomic by Z.O.E?

I’m not into the love square no matter how better one might do it (it’s been soured too much for me in the show), but I do get happy seeing Zoe’s art and wondering how she’ll change/expand on the plotpoints in certain episodes.

Anonymous said:

Not sure it anyone's already said this but-

Canon Audrey: you're fired!

MC Audrey: you're hired!

Okay but hear me out.

Canon Audrey being put in charge of dealing with Miraculous’ writers, MC Audrey put in charge of hiring new ones.

Anonymous said:

Something the genuinely scares me is how close some people’s predictions where for miraculous I just saw predictions people made for season 3 and it’s worrying that the worst possible scenario for them ended up happening beat for beat.

The show can be very, very predictable that way. The way I’d describe it is that I do expect these bad things to happen in really convoluted and dumb ways, but it still surprises me by exactly how predictable it ends up being. I mean, I catch certain things really easily and the phrase, “the whole episode just flashed before my eyes,” is something I commonly say.

Predictability isn’t entirely bad, but when the prediction is unwanted? Yeah, there’s a problem.

Anonymous said:

You could basically summarize the difference between what Miraculous fans want and what the Miraculous writers want by using the John Mulaney "Delta Airlines" bit as a template.

I had to get said bit explained to me since I haven’t seen that one, but yes, now I can confirm.

Anonymous said:

How do you think Chat Blanc would play out if Marinette and/or Adrien were already dating other people? Like if Marinette had already moved on, do you think the narrative would punish her for it?

I imagine it would have Adrien still be crushing on Ladybug and he’d break it off with this other person when he realized that Ladybug is Marinette, which the narrative would then promote as “the correct decision” because they’re soulmates and such. If Marinette has moved on, she probably won’t care about his advances, which would lead to Adrien getting upset and maybe being convinced that an identity reveal would solve the problem and/or speeding up getting Hawk Moth defeated/arrested.

Marinette would probably be blaming herself for not being “sensitive enough” to Adrien/Chat’s feelings, which is what led to him being akumatized.

I could also see the girl squad forcing Marinette to give Adrien the present similar to canon, but maybe the beret doesn’t have a heart and Marinette isn’t actually interested, but rolls with it because the girl squad insists on it (probably convinced that she’s denying her own feelings).

Anonymous said:

What do you think constitutes as a "strong female character"? Do you think the girls and women in Miraculous Ladybug are "strong female characters"? Why or why not(I'm sorry if this sounded like a school assignment, by the way!)? Because to me I feel like a lot of them are given depth and focus, but they're often forced into stereotypes, and let's not forget how the show derail's Marinette's character for a joke. But lots of people think a strong girl has to be boyish or else she's weak somehow.

“I'm sorry if this sounded like a school assignment“ dfhgkfdgfg

I guess it depends on what you consider a strong female character. Like, can a shy female character be “strong” if maybe she holds firm to her morals or can fight people off?

I think Marinette has the potential to be a “strong female character” but the show nerfs her using her crush on Adrien (which raises so many red flags that I can’t cover here) and all it’s really done for her is get her laughed at and humiliated. If her life didn’t revolve and get ruined so badly due to her crush on Adrien, I think she’d be a strong female character (I know what the Season 3 finale did but I’m not buying any of it until we see proper results in Season 4).

That’s not to say that characters with crushes can’t be “strong” but it has to not control their life. I mean... okay...

Would Sabrina be considered a “strong female character” if she recognized Chloe’s treatment of her and worked hard to get out of it? Is the want and attempt to move on from something what constitutes “strength,” or do they have to succeed?

My conflict is always... I want to give Marinette credit for trying to move on from Adrien, but I know that it’s just the writing trying to make things seem tense/strained just to make it feel “better” when they actually get together. You see it all the time in anime/manga where a misunderstanding/self-doubt ends up hurting the relationship of the main ship; it’s to force conflict and separation, giving the ship something to overcome so they can get together.

I will say though that shy characters can be strong, physically strong characters can be weak, and so on. What defines a “strong” character may be vague to me, but I take it as I go. I would like to say that Marinette is a strong character on her own because she wants to improve even if she fails, but I also don’t want to give the writing credit for something that ultimately means nothing. I want to say that she’s strong but the narrative seems to do everything in its power to tell me that she’s weak.

Let me give a non-Miraculous example: say that you have a pacifist character, but there’s a villain who has done terrible things, cannot be redeemed (plz do not swarm my inbox with “anyone can be redeemed” comments, this is a hypothetical), and any method besides killing them right there and now would lead to more destruction/lives lost.

You might say that that the pacifist character would be “strong” in sticking by their morals and trying to find another way even if they ultimately would fail and the villain would get away, but an argument can also be made that the pacifist is being stubborn and letting people die because they are unwilling to rethink the morality they’ve chosen. Is a pacifist a pacifist if they’re letting the blood of other people spill because they themselves aren’t willing to have the blood be on their own hands? Are they “strong” because they stuck by what they believe in or are they “weak” because they refused to expand what they believed was “right”?

You could apply that to Aang from Avatar: The Last Airbender (I know he’s not female but stick with me here). He was faced with having to murder the Fire Lord to the point where a past reincarnation who was raised on the same values as him didn’t agree with him. I think it was acceptable for him to try and stick to his morals and find another way, but he came up empty and the show had to give him a way of taking away the Fire Lord’s power so Aang didn’t have to make that choice in the end (there’s also that thing with the rock to his back and having to give up Katara but we’re not getting into that).

People could argue that, “oh, he admitted to himself that he’d have to kill the Fire Lord and then he got the Deus Ex Machina so it’s okay!” but the problem there is that the narrative basically gave two options: Murder or Take Away the Guy’s Bending, but there was incredible risk involved in the latter option. Aang almost lost himself against the Fire Lord and risked everything so that he would not have to kill him.

I would argue it makes him weak. I would argue that needing the narrative to favor him makes him weak (which is one plus for Marinette I guess the narrative is usually against her???). The lack of ability to understand his past lives and see things from their perspective made him weak for me, as him holding so stiffly to his values made it appear that he felt his ways were “better” than everyone else’s (which had been a long-standing problem for me and I never forgave him for “The Southern Raiders”).

Anonymous said:

What do you think of adriens mom Emilie. Like what do you how do you feel she wound up using the peacock miraculous personally I’m leaning into her being a villain due to the fact that there aren’t any stories of a peacock hero (unless they retcon that) and that her husband is well freaking Gabriel who has no real form of morals. Also I can’t help but think of how they got the miraculous in the first place. Anyways overall what do you think they will do with her or think of her right now.

I see her like I see any dead mom in media (I know she’s comatose, not the point); a tool for angst. Her reasons for using the peacock could be anything (might even be that she was given it and simply wearing it was damaging to her, or she transformed once to try it out and that was that), but I just don’t feel strongly about her because I’m not invested in the Agreste plot.

Me personally, I headcanon that she’s kind of like Bustier where she appears good but is actually very damaging. Instead of the generic “good mom who tried to do good things for her son but folded to angry dad’s demands,” I would like to imagine that she’s selfish in her own right and was part of the reason for Adrien never going to public school; she’s possessive herself (a contributor to why the Agrestes are so wealthy) and wants her son to remain close to her even if she genuinely cares about him and should want him to be able to go and learn from the world.

But I imagine they’ll probably make her either “pure good mom” or “villain like Gabriel where she’s ‘sympathetic’ but also evil.” The show has never been good at doing gray morality (see my MC Audrey for example) and usually messes things up if they try.

Anonymous said:

Honestly, I don't like Mme. Bustier, but if they DARE pull the pregnancy jokes with her--and I don't mean "pregnancy puns", like those would be ACTUALLY funny without offending anybody, but "ooh, she's pregnant so now she's moody and has wacky cravings and screams at everybody and is a nightmare to be around" and other things that just scream "male writer who mocks female biology and doesn't understand women", I'm going to cry. We already don't like Bridezilla, and this isn't any better.

Ugh. I don’t even like pregnancy plots in general or anything related to pregnancy (my followers who have been around forever and know of my hatred towards babies: wow what a shock!!), so adding on “jokes” like that?

Hard pass. I already don’t like Bustier so the mere idea of her potentially getting any focus there--

Anonymous said:

What do you think of the Alyanette ship? Personally, I'm ambivalent to it, but I can sorta see Alya being bi and having a crush on Marinette but Marinette doesn't like her back. Or she could have a crush on Ladybug. But I don't like the idea of it being mutual, considering how pushy and invasive Alya is. It also doesn't make sense for her to so insistently push the love square if she likes Marinette. But perhaps that's where some of her sarcastic quips come from: jealousy(cliche I know).

I’m always here for bi representation (no one can take my bi disaster headcanon’d Nino and Kagami away from me), but I actively dislike the Alyanette ship. I was okay with it back in Season 1 but it started to fall off in Season 2 and officially die in Season 3.

I don’t judge people by what they ship (...much; there’s obviously that little part of me that can’t help giving the side eye) but yeah, not for me.

Anonymous said:

As a different flavor of angst: Can you imagine Marinette’s class going to Riverside park in NYC and Tikki spotting the Jeanne D’Arc statue? I always wondered what it would have been like for Tikki to see Jeanne burned alive by the people she swore to protect. I think Nobody briefly touched on this for Witch Hunter, but not many people I have seen (probably missed something) talk about it. What do you think?

I’m indifferent to past holders getting mentioned and acknowledged; not sure how I feel about them given specific names and such (I kinda like seeing their designs and such but making them actual people from the real world? mmmm not here for that as much).

I like the idea though of addressing those real world things and having the kwami reacting to them. Like, it did make me genuinely sad in the New York special to see Liiri come out and call out Gilbert’s name, only to see this other guy standing there and we know that this Gilbert guy is very much dead by now.

On a related note, I’d be all for a special getting into a kwami’s problem and not making everything Marinette’s fault, so having Marinette maybe helping a kwami through theri issues and it leads into getting more lore on the kwami.

Anonymous said:

I just had an epiphany today: People who hate on Marinette for being "mean" to Lila/teachers telling Marinette to ignore Chloe and Lila and treat them nicely are the equivalent of real adults telling girls who are being bullied by boys that "he does it because he likes you." Ladies, raise your hands if something like this has ever happened: "Jamal tried to cut my cheek open with a razor!" "Oh, Aaliyah, he's only doing it because he likes you." Now that I've seen it I can't unsee it. Disgusting.

“Marinette, they’re just jealous of you, that’s all! Can you really get angry at them for that??”

us: yes

Anonymous said:

Thinking about Puppeteer 2 and how Marinette's identity could have been blown if she had talked to Tikki because of Plagg's incompetence angers me beyond belief because I know, just KNOW, if that had actually happened, Marinette would take ALL THE BLAME for it like there's no tomorrow. It would never occur to anyone that she normally talks to Tikki while she's alone and had no idea that the "statue" in front of her was a real boy AND her partner, or that Plagg should have said something. Ugh.

I KNOW, RIGHT????

That was such a big annoyance to me in that episode. They literally neglected the actual reality of what would happen (”Oh, Tikki! No one’s here, I could practice on this Adrien statue!”) for the sake of humiliating Marinette... again.

Anonymous said:

Your comment about how Ladybug always says she's "in love with someone else", as if that should matter diddly squat when the problem is with Chat not respecting her feelings on their own without another guy in the picture reminds me of a #YesAllWomen post I saw on Twitter. It read: "'I have a boyfriend' is the easiest way to get a man to leave you alone. Because he respects another man more than you." It's just like this except without the dating and the fact that Chat DOESN'T leave her alone.

And then you remember that the “someone else” she’s in love with is the exact person who’s disrespecting her feelings and you proceed to hate everything.

Anonymous said:

The statue scene in Puppeteer 2 could've easily kept its humor by having Adrien fall over when Marinette puts her weight on him and almost kisses him, then Marinette goes "Gasp! You're not a statue!" Marinette is always being forced to humiliate herself in the name of "love", even when she doesn't deserve it, so for once, let Adrien be the one utterly humiliated of his own doing. Then they could have a sad scene where Adrien ACTUALLY comforts her and...wait for it...LEARNS A LESSON.

Alternatively, someone who works on the statues comes in and, also mistaking Adrien for a statue, tries to do some sort of work on him.

Anonymous said:

Since we can all agree that this show is sadly not very good at girl power/inclusivity, how would you tweak the show to make it more genuinely female-empowering/inclusive(can include racial/sexual inclusivity)? Besides the obvious(including more female and/or POC writers on board).

Orientation-related inclusivity isn’t even that hard. Have a character get a call from someone and just be like, “oh, it’s my boyfriend/girlfriend,” and then other companies can just dub it if they’re so afraid of characters who like the same gender.

Firstly, I’d have Marinette learn and become more of a mentor character to other characters (male and female), lean more into more “females in power” (like Mylene showing genuine interest in being the next mayor), either less focus on the “girl antagonists are evil/unredeemable” plots or at least make them legitimate threats that don’t need the narrative to cater to them to make them threatening.

Secondly, Adrien needs to STOP being the one to keep telling Marinette/Ladybug what’s right or the way to do things. I can’t stress this one enough.

Thirdly, maybe not having a season dedicated to three guys getting miraculouses while all the girls are either questioned, self-reveal, or get their miraculous revoked. That might help. :P

Anonymous said:

The saddest thing is that I can see ML going through a "Fate: The Winx Saga" in the future and having an awful, edgy reboot to appeal more to adults.

Different writers probably but at what cost.

+ more sexualization obviously since that’s usually what “more adult” means; Audrey gets the cleavage that her design clearly calls for at least, but again, at what cost

Anonymous said:

I hate what TheOnesWhoMustNotBeNamed have done to the Love Square but I also don't like Lukanette and Adrigami (nothing against the characters themselves). This is going to be one of those shows that regardless what ship wins is going to disappoint around 90% of the fans.

No hate for not liking Lukanette/Adrimi, I understand that.

And yeah, there’s a <1% chance that they can pull out anything satisfying.

Anonymous said:

Off topic, but I realized why I don’t like Clara Nightingale’s design, there’s no light to her eyes, makes her look kinda dead, kinda evil.

DQ tend to do that when they’re the ones animating. I remember “Christmaster” doing particularly well with the eye highlights.

Anonymous said:

What do you think about the future Miraculous specials (Africa, Japan, Rio, Shanghai, London)?

Will be happy to see a new setting because it shows different cultures (though there’s always the chance that the culture is poorly-represented) but that’s basically it. Specials are usually just a cash grab that are just there and any expansion on lore and such is shunted to the side for the sake of love square drama, judging by the New York special.

Anonymous said:

I haven't watched the New York Special yet, don't think I can bring myself to tbh, but this whole time I thought Aeon was the name of the superhero persona, and that the fandom was collectively calling her civilian identity Uncanny Valley bc her model was that bad.

I was genuinely shocked to find out that her civilian identity is named Aeon and that her hero name is Uncanny Valley bc that is not only a stupid name, but kind of insulting since she's an android character of color. (Well, she's a character of color except for when shes running around as a pale naked superhero. Majestia, give your kid some pants!)

oof

Yeah, the Uncanny Valley thing threw me off too. “Aeon” really does sound like a superhero name.

I can’t believe they made her a robot and were like, “mannequin robot design.” I question so many things about the decisions made around Aeon fdkjgjfdg.

Anonymous said:

Do you think they’ll ever leave DuPont college, since it’s a middle school (essentially) and go to a lycee (high school)? I think they’re in their second year of four at DuPont, judging by the previous class picture.

I doubt it, unless we get more seasons? It would mean having to model a whole new school.

Anonymous said:

So I was reading again tikki brand boyfriend and this come to my mind and I have to share it with you.... Tikki is the mother in law of marinette in the future lol (sorry if this isn't the right blog to ask this) (I love yours au, you are amazing!)

(this is the wrong blog, yes, you’re looking for mc-lukanette, not miraculouscontent)

Thank you though! i agree, that’s cute, ahaha~

Anonymous said:

Did you know that there's a TV Tropes page for LadyBugOut?! And someone even left a review there saying they liked it and that they were sick of the Marinette embarrassing and wanted some Lukanette. They say your au is their favorite au in the fandom! Isn't that just swell?

Yes! And the TV Tropes page is fantastic! Thank you!

Anonymous said:

OMG IVE FIGURED OUT WHY MARINETTE IS UNABLE TO GET OVER ADRIEN!!! She’s under the influence of a love potion called Amortentia, which causes a powerful obsession from the drinker (it’s from Harry Potter). That’s why she’s so obsessed, and that’s why she can’t get over Adrien! She literally can’t while under the influence of the potion! She just needs to drink the antidote, and then she can finally be free!

Oh no!! Someone get this poor girl an antidote, STAT!

Anonymous said:

I was just reading your review of Silencer(which I totally agree with by the way), and when I got to the part about how Ladybug lost her voice and her powers are voice-activated, it got me thinking about how annoying Chat was being(as another anon noted, which I also agree with), and then it hit me. While it may just come off as his usual flirtatious banter that's innocent, the fact that he doesn't even seem to mind Ladybug not being able to detransform because then he gets to "be with her" forever and ever and ever amen just proves your point about Chat Blanc. He cares more about being with Ladybug than Ladybug herself, so long as she gets to keep being Ladybug "for him", that's what matters. Remember that the girl he fell in love with was the superhero persona and not the girl under the mask. He couldn't care less about who that actual girl is so long as she's his "lady" and loves him back. He just wants her to uphold the image of his strong and powerful "lady" that he admires.

(Glad you enjoyed the “Silencer” review! Thanks!)

Full agreement here! Chat isn’t really in love with Ladybug; he’s in love with the image he’s made of her and wants to keep it that way, no matter how much he may suggest otherwise.

Anonymous said:

Luka is soooo much more interesting with Marinette like, why isn't he the love interest? Same with Kagami for Adrien. To be honest it would be cool if the show set up the love square at first but then slowly started to change to Lukanette and Adrimi once Marinette and Adrien realized their crushes were just not working out. They can still have an identity reveal, but they'll refreshingly stay friends. But the writers don't have the ovaries to do that, I get it. -_- Such wasted potential.

They could’ve done a really interesting bait-and-switch but they decided not to. The love square is full of holes and flaws that they’re very likely never going to address (outside of anything used for that “gAsP maybe they won’t get together???” drama), so having it actually be addressed and be like, “okay, we’re better as friends,” would’ve gone over so much better.

Anonymous said:

I hear people complain all the time that Lukanette is toxic because Luka is merely the "second choice" for Marinette, and that she just uses him as a rebound when she fails to get Adrien's attention. But the truth is, that's not how it is at all. Luka's not anywhere near her "second choice". He gives her tranquility and stability, and she helps him loosen up and have someone to express his creativity towards. Plus, it's totally normal for teens to have two crushes whom they can't choose between.

THIS

ALL OF THIS

I am so tired of people saying that Marinette is “using” Luka in someway as if it’s a conscious decision on her part to take advantage him.

Luka makes her happy. That’s it. Luka is aware of how she feels and respects her space, but I guess that makes him a “pushover” and “he lets Marinette walk all over him” because he didn’t get upset with her and embarrass her in “Desperada” by calling her out over her Adrien blindness.

Anonymous said:

People who say "I like Marinette but she's getting to be pretty embarrassing sometimes" really don't get that the show constantly forces her into situations where she's embarrassed and made out to be incompetent. Like, it's not her that's embarrassing, it's the show that's always embarrassing her. Kind of like Serena/Usagi in the (shitty)DiC English dub of Sailor Moon. It's getting irritating to hear people continually rag on Marinette as if SHE'S the clueless idiot, rather than the writers.

There are some things that happen to her that she literally could not have predicted. Like, just saying, if I had someone claiming to be my friend, I would expect them to know I’m anxiety-prone and not pretend to be a statue just

Anonymous said:

Remarried Empress Anon: I can see Felix as the Duke and maybe Jagged Stone as Kosair (but an uncle and not her brother).

I agree with both of those! Jagged Stone as Kosair/Koshar, omg.

Plus, the idea of Luka and Felix being “friends” amuses me.

Anonymous said:

You know, I find Felix/Marinette content to be really funny. Because, Felix in fanfiction is a completely different character than his canon self- with a different personality, background, and maybe even last name. So, the entire Marinette/Felix fandom is literally just Marinette/oc except it's always the same oc

I struggle to get fully behind Felinette because so much of it does rely on fandom interpretation and playing with fanon in general (plus, having to clarify “I ship fanon Felinette” is weird).

I do however agree that it’s interesting that it ultimately comes to a character built on fanon grounds, and how much more acceptance characters get when they’re based on “canon”/originally canon characters.

Anonymous said:

How would you write the Miraculous PV version? Just wondering.

I don’t think I could without drastically changing characters and at that point it’s not really the PV anymore. “Bridgette“ and Felix’s relationship is the exact opposite of what I like to watch/read about so yeah, changing both of them to what I like would either be too severe of a rewrite or me working too far within the restrictions set out for me.

Anonymous said:

There's a YouTube video claiming that someone will figure out that Marinette is Ladybug and that she will suffer...I mean, yeah? Isn't that what we've already been getting? I mean, not the first part, obviously(and when we have, it's been undone), but the second? Have we been watching the same show? No, have we? Because Marinette suffering, sadly, is not anything new.

lol “Marinette will suffer!” and us like “did you seriously use future tense as if Marinette isn’t already suffering??”

Anonymous said:

Am I the only one who feels like Miraculous Ladybug is feeling less like a magical girl show and more like just another superhero show? This isn't even because of "girl power" or anything like that, or the fact that there are male Miraculous wielders like Chat and Carapace and(long dreamy sigh) Viperion. This is because the outfits don't really resemble magical girl outfits at all and, after watching various magical girl shows both in and out of Japan, Miraculous is starting to feel like its genre is shifting from magical girl to that of "superhero" in its broadest term. And I know I said I wouldn't bring up "girl power", but the fact that so many of the girls aren't treated respectfully by the narrative and are pitted against each other, to the point where they're more likely to lose their Miraculouses or reveal their identities(which often culminates in losing their Miraculouses), only adds to this because the Magical Girl genre is about female empowerment and solidarity.

It's sad because I really don't want this show to become one of those shows where "there might be one or two girls, and she might even be the lead, but it's still mostly guys who are front and center doing the heavy lifting" that we get all the time. Things are starting to change for the better and I want Miraculous to capitalize on that emergence of female empowerment as much as possible. Plus, with the New York Special, the magical girl aspects of the show have been toned down if not obliterated entirely: the transformations for the superheroes only last one minute, and they feel more like the Avengers than Sailor Senshi(which I don't mean in the most literal sense, of course, I am in no way saying that none of them can be male.). Plus they pulled the whole "Samus is a Girl" thing TWICE! TWICE! Come on, if you're show is really about girl power, it shouldn't come as a surprise when girls are, well...powerful! And especially not in Magical Girl for obvious reasons.

So while I'm not saying it's bad for a show to shift from the original genre it was meant to be in(although it must be done carefully, otherwise it looks like you don't know what you're doing), and there is of course no wrong way to do Magical Girl(except for Madoka Magica and Yuki Yuna, do NOT go there!), it does make me wonder. And it's kind of disappointing, because I really love Magical Girl and I feel like shows like these could introduce the genre to a wider audience and could renovate it as well. But unfortunately they're going a different direction, and that makes me sad. If not for the transformation phrases/sequences and the fact that they have animal companions, I imagine most people would be totally clueless as to how on Earth this show counts as Magical Girl. It still counts as such for me, but it's deviating farther and farther away from the genre to the point where it becomes nigh unrecognizable, or like even the show writers forgot what genre it's supposed to be. Sadly.

Yikes.

Yeah, I can’t imagine how seeing this show must be like for people that are more savvy with magical girl shows. Me personally, I had to be told that it was a magical girl show because it honestly just gave off the “superhero show” vibes even with the magical girl-esque transformations.

Plus, with magical girls, you usually expect a group of girls? Here, we have Ladybug and Chat Noir, who the writers keep being like “they’re equals” which... yeah, that’s fine but it doesn’t really work with the idea that this is a magical girl show? I mean, “Party Crasher” was basically Ladybug and her reverse harem of superhero guys who just got out of a “males-only” party.

I dunno, coming from someone who doesn’t have a lot of experience with magical girl shows, it just doesn’t have what I would expect when I think “magical girl show featuring a healthy dose of girl power.”

Anonymous said:

I was once reading this review of Miraculous Ladybug called "Miraculous Ladybug is a Hot Mess: A Rant", and while it's a good video and you should watch it and I totally agree with everything she said(plus, it made me laugh a few times!), I had a huge issue with the way she made Marinette's stammering around Adrien to be ALL HER FAULT since he's never mean to her and is always patient with her(yeah, more like oblivious), but that "she's incompetent" and "cockblocks herself", which annoys me because Marinette on her own is not the incompetent one here(I also don't like the term "cockblock", like, can we not? But anyway...), rather, it's the writers who make her incompetent for cheap laughs and don't allow her to improve or let anyone(but Luka, bless his kind soul!) truly be on her side. She then had the nerve to say "Marinette needs to learn to define herself outside of who she's crushing on", when, NO, once again, the WRITERS are the ones who define her by her crush on Adrien.

It's one thing to blame a character for something even when she's clearly written by a writer, because characters are supposed to be consistent yet flexible and have free will in-universe. But when she's written this inconsistently/it's obvious the writers have it out for her(to the point where they even say it) it is nigh impossible to pretend it's an aspect of the character herself and not the writers at fault. THAT'S where you draw the line between blaming the character vs the writer.

In fact, speaking of Luka, she also said that she wants the show to get rid of Luka because he's just a "plot device" and has no reason to like her beyond the fact that she's a "funny girl". She also said that Luka is a stereotype of the "cute bad boys who are emo", when that's blatantly untrue. She's allowed to not like Lukanette but all the things she's saying really ignore the point of his character and that his life DOESN'T revolve around Marinette; the writers simply don't respect him.

Even worse, she contradicted herself by saying that Lukanette is pointless because "we all know that Marinette is going to get with Adrien; it's endgame so why does the show even bother with Luka?" Then right after that says that Kagami's okay and that it's okay for Adrien to move onto Kagami because Ladybug has rejected him as Chat so many times(which is apparently not the case for Adriennette because "MaRiNeTtE's JuSt InCoMpEtEnT" right?). So teenage girls aren't allowed to like other boys or date more than one boy, yet teenage boys can date as many chicks as they like. Nice.

And apparently, any problem in a relationship or potential relationship is the girl's fault no matter what. She can't approach him because Goddess forbid girls not always be perfect and capable? She's incompetent and it's all her fault she can't properly talk to a perfectly nice, cute, FAMOUS boy. She rejects him every time he confesses despite him knowing it will fail. Her fault for being mean and not giving him a chance. She gets tired of chasing him and decides to look at someone else since it's not like she's legally married to Boy #1? She should stick with the original boy since they're gonna get together anyway. He gets tired of chasing her and decides to look at someone else since it's not like he's legally married to Girl #1? She should've realized his feelings for her and returned them since they're gonna be endgame anyway. Has this lady ever even been a teenage girl?

Plenty of teenage girls get tongue-tied around the one they love even if he or she is a perfectly nice, sweet person, it doesn't mean they're incompetent(especially when the girls are fictional characters in a world set out to punish them for not making progress and for trying to make progress at the same time, and the fact that the boy is a celebrity who is always made oblivious and kept distant enough from the girl so she can keep putting him on a pedestal and never truly get to know him). Plenty of teenage girls lose interest in one boy and so fall for another. Yet it's somehow only okay for boys to do it? Seriously?

And then for the episode "Ladybug", the reviewer continues to rag on Marinette, blaming her for the fact that her reaction to getting expelled was "I can't let that nasty Hawkmoth win", claiming she wasn't reacting like a normal teen or human in general would react in that scenario, completely ignoring the fact that it's TIKKI who doesn't comfort Marinette and forces her to focus on her duties as Ladybug and almost getting akumatized. She's right about the plot moving too fast, but she doesn't take into account WHY it's moving too fast, because the show doesn't focus on Marinette's inner struggle and what she has to go through. Instead of giving her time to process her thoughts after all that goes on and providing Tikki as a source of comfort and support(which she's, you know, SUPPOSED to be), they make Tikki berate her and force Marinette to push it to the side.

She's never allowed to feel. And that's why it hurts all the more when this woman insults Marinette for her perceived ineptitude, and she's fully allowed to dislike Marinette, critique her behaviors, dislike Luka, critique his role in the story etc., just don't reinforce a double standard as you do so and look closer: ultimately most of Marinette's problems are due to her not being permitted to FEEL. She's not allowed to be nervously in love, or be calm, or be offended, or be just not ready.

The writers keep pushing her in one direction, to be emotionless, to be selfless, to be nice, to be honest, to be "the mature/responsible one" to be a perfect little "Purrincess", to not push for or want anything for herself, even though the show is supposed to be about girl power! She does somewhat touch on that by saying that Ladybug never gets to "take a hit" and that the Marichat scene in Glaciator was too short, but she never goes into why everything is too-fast paced. And if she did, she wouldn't be saying everything she does about Marinette and Luka. Because Luka is more than just the "plot device" she dismisses him as.

He's like a calm oasis, the apple of the hurricane who keeps Marinette calm and just lets. her. breathe. He's possibly the only person who doesn't berate her, who doesn't mimic her, who doesn't insult her, who doesn't ignore her. And the one time he does, he apologizes RIGHT AWAY when he sees how sad she looks. And the funny thing is, I used to hate that scene, because when I first saw it, I thought "Oh man! Luka did the same thing as everyone else did once!" But now I see that it serves as a contrast, whether intentionally or unintentionally, to the other characters in the show. Whereas they never apologize for how they treat Marinette(and often she somehow ends up apologizing instead, sadly) and in fact seem oblivious to it at times or just don't care, Luka notices, Luka cares, and Luka apologizes. That shows that he cares about her and her feelings, unlike the rest of the characters in the show.

And while they do care about her, they're never held accountable for how they treat her. Anarka and Plagg are probably the only exceptions that I can think of(who contribute to the plot of course), but they're obviously not love interests, and the video doesn't talk about them, so I won't talk about them either. But my point is that this review, while good in other ways, is still problematic in this regard, for how it completely ignores Marinette's struggles and how they affect her, as well as the value of Luka's character(even if the show doesn't recognize it at times) and the POSITIVE effect they have on each other(especially since he actually, genuinely, wholeheartedly loves her and is patient with her, since Adrien is barely even her friend and Chat is pushy and entitled. And he has a life outside of her too, which this video chooses to ignore.)! So yeah, I'm sorry this took so long, but I just had to protect my favorite characters because that video did them so dirty. Thank you for coming to my Lukanette Ted Talk! Have a miraculous day! ;3

...Wow????

Can I just say wow??

Firstly, kudos to you for having the patience to not only write all of that, but simultaneous deal within Tumblr’s limitations while doing so? I almost wish I had a video detailing all of these topics (not exactly a video response to that person, but just detailing all of this without explicitly calling people out).

Secondly, I absolutely, 100% feel you on the double standards. I have seen so much hypocrisy in my experiences and it’s insane how people will bash Marinette relentlessly and then let Adrien off with a bunch of excuses, or hate Luka for essentially existing and then accept Kagami.

I also hate the idea of disliking Luka because he’s there to make Marinette feel better, and then liking Kagami because she causes conflict, like the implication is that conflict equals good and things that make Marinette feel loved and cared for are bad because love square endgame, I guess.

It’s exhausting, especially when Marinette is fourteen, clearly tries, but is getting no support. Like, have you ever thought how weird it was that Tom and Sabine seemingly knew back in “Gamer” that Marinette was crushing on Adrien, but in “Weredad,” they don’t worry about the fact that Marinette is into someone else or wonder what might’ve happened with Adrien, like if he might’ve hurt her in some way? If the assumption is, “oh, they just think that’s a teenage thing, flip-flopping between love interests,” well... Tom clearly takes what he thinks to be her current crush very seriously, and even if it was true that they presume she’s just flip-flopping, that really doesn’t show them to see Marinette as more than just a clumsy teenager-in-love stereotype.

So yeah, the characters who are meant to be there to support her ask no questions, but here’s Luka with his sweet “you can tell me everything or nothing, you can be yourself around me,” line, and yet... Luka is the problem???

Sure, how dare this sweet boy NOT cause Marinette more stress. He makes Marinette feel better about herself and therefore he’s “pointless” (which, really, is the true mark of someone who doesn’t care about Marinette).

Ugh.

But yeah, in conclusion, people can have insane double standards when it comes to Luka and Marinette, and thank you for the Lukanette Ted Talk, this was a really good piece! You have a nice day too! ;3

(note: the below ask seems to cut short at the end and I didn’t get a message back about it but I at least wanted to have it here so the anon has (most of?) their story heard even if I can’t properly comment on it:)

Anonymous said:

Relating to the ask about Marinette imagining the events of the series. For me it would be realistic as I sort of see myself in her position for some parts, especially how her friends are represent (mainly Alya) and I can see myself picturing the events of the story (surrounding them) to some extent.

I'm continuing on to explain and rant about how I relate to Marinette. So about Alya's pushiness with Marinette's crush and how she won't let her move on. I used to be sort of friends with this person and one day we hanging out at school and she started badgering me to tell her who my crush was, even though I told her I didn't have one (I didn't have one but even if I did it wasn't her business, especially because we hadn't really interacted for a couple years).

She pressured me enough that I felt the need to make up a person, then she called me out just after I did it because she knew I was lying but didn't realise how uncomfortable I was lucky we were by ourselves so no one could hear how embarrassing it was. It still is but I sort have gotten over it (that's why I'm hear complaining). For her being made to sit by herself because everyone else paired of, I can relate.

I have never been the person who is really close with the friend group (probably because I'm quiet and struggle to interact with others), but I still I hang out during class time, but there have been times when two of the friends sat together and the other friend chose not to sit with me but just in front of me (the tables can fit two people at them) until one friend I went to primary school asked "what about [me]", so them she sat next to me.

The person I went to primary school with also has chosen to sit with the person who was not to sit with me so she could sit closer to the other two friends diagonally across from me on the table next to mine. I can understand Marinette in The Chameleon for how she would of felt when her friends turned in because I am left wondering if my friends even like me, although primary school friend sometimes tried to get to wait with them when we were waiting for the teacher to show up.

As I mentioned earlier I anxious when trying to interact with people who are even considered my friends so I wait for them to invite me to hangout with them. And for the ending of The Chameleon when everything went back to normal, in primary school we had this task we were told research a person and write a biography on them so as the teacher told us we were writing a good copy and the work in our books was a rough draft.

I wrote the information down as I would the good copy to make sure I was happy with it. When we were writing the good copy, I started to worry I had done something wrong as I had seen my friends work and they bith had just written down the facts. So as my friends and I kept having arguments and fights so I told them that I hoped I remembered to spell all the names correctly because they were not names I was knew how to spell which was true so they didn't question it as I could tell they did

#category: salt #character: Marinette Dupain Cheng #relationship: love square #character: Adrien Agreste #category: fandom #MC: Audrey Bourgeois #episode: Chat Blanc #character: Emilie Agreste #character: Caline Bustier #relationship: Alya Cesaire & Marinette Dupain Cheng #episode: The Puppeteer 2 #MC's Adjustments #adjustment: romance #category: staff #character: Clara Nightingale #episode: Silencer #relationship: Luka Couffaine & Marinette Dupain Cheng #relationship: Felix Graham de Vanily & Marinette Dupain Cheng #other: askplosion

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winryofresembool · 4 years ago

Text

Things We Lost in the Fire, ch 30

aka Caleo uni au

Fic summary: Calypso starts studying at a new university, but to her annoyance her new flatmate is a loud mouthed mechanic who also likes to sneak his dog in whenever. But as she learns to know him better, she realizes they might have more in common than what she first thought. Eventually, even the darkest secrets come out…

Chapter summary: At Waystation, pt 3/?

A/N: Chapter 30 already! This chapter was not an easy one to edit as I was insecure about a lot of things, but hey, it's out now and that's what matters, right? I am so aware things are progressing a bit slowly right now but I feel it's kind of 'necessary' to have a bit of down time before things start going down. (Not that I'm capable of writing actual drama.) Well, at least we'll find out a bit more about Leo's past in this chapter.

Without a further ado, please enjoy and let me know what you think (those comments really help me!!!)

Words: exactly 3000 apparently :O

Genre: romance & hurt/comfort

Warnings: none

previous chapter / AO3

...

After breakfast Leo asked Calypso if she would like him to give her a tour around Waystation. She agreed, but Leo couldn’t help but raise his eyebrow at his family members when Georgina asked if she could go with the flatmates and Leo’s mothers told her that they needed Georgie’s help in some Christmas chores.

“What?” Josephine asked innocently when she noticed Leo staring.

“I dunno, tía Jo. It just kinda seems like you don’t want Georgie to hang out with us,” he stated bluntly.

“That’s not accurate at all, Leo,” she denied. “I’d gladly let Georgina go with you but we really do need her help around here. Christmas isn’t coming if we all just slack off, right, Emmie?”

“I agree, dear. I haven’t even…” Emmie’s hesitance only deepened Leo’s suspicions. “...hmmm, taken care of our mistletoes yet.”

“Mistletoes?” Leo crossed his arms over his chest, briefly daring to wonder what would happen if he and Calypso were under one of those plants at the same time. He shook his head to dispel such an idea.

“Didn’t we agree that we don’t need stuff like that? You don’t even like Christmas!”

“I may agree that this holiday is way too commercial these days, but since Emmie has some mistletoes growing in her greenhouse anyway, I don’t see why we wouldn’t use them,” Jo commented. “It’s nice that Georgie gets to experience some of the old traditions even if we grownups don’t care about them.”

“Whatever,” Leo rolled his eyes, knowing he wouldn’t win that battle.

“Um, if you need extra hands,” Calypso joined the conversation, addressing Jo and Emmie, “I don’t have to go with Leo. I’d love to help too.”

Leo felt a twinge of disappointment because of Calypso’s suggestion. His insecure side yelled that maybe he had misread Calypso’s intentions all along.

“Oh, no, no!” Emmie denied immediately. “You are our guest; we want you to take it easy and enjoy your stay here. I bet Leo’s tour is a lot more fun than us peeling way too many potatoes and carrots for the casserole.”

“I wouldn’t mind peeling potatoes,” Calypso mumbled but Leo’s mothers pretended they didn’t even hear that. The flatmates simply had to accept that they wouldn’t have a chaperone - except maybe Festus - on their tour.

Once the two of them were outside, Leo’s thoughts went back to the time when he had first arrived at Waystation. Back then, he had been only 15, having just escaped from his latest foster home, which had been located far away in New Mexico. His foster family there had hidden their opinion on him very badly, giving him sly remarks about his looks and telling him to speak clearer English even though Leo’s English had always been fine, thanks to his real mother allowing him to learn both Spanish and English as a small kid. They had also made him do the hard work such as carrying heavy loads while the other foster kid of the family got the easy tasks. And when he had come home from school with bad grades, the foster parents had commented: “why do we even bother with you?”

At some point Leo had simply had enough, and by selling some of the few belongings he had he had managed to gather just enough money for one plane ticket and so he flew to Indianapolis without telling anything to his foster family.

After living on the streets and successfully dodging the authorities for a couple of weeks, the police finally found him and contacted the local social workers. Thankfully, after Leo put all his convincing skills to use, they agreed to not send him back to New Mexico, instead finding him a new foster family nearby. Leo hadn’t had high expectations because he had been in at least 6 different foster homes since his mother’s death and none of them had been a good match for him. Some had been abusive, some racist, some ignorant, some had had kids who were bullies, some had had alcohol issues… What had been common for them all was that none of them had treated him the way they should have.

That was why Leo had picked some bad habits too; he wanted to drown his feelings somehow and he ended up stealing small amounts of money from his foster family so he could buy alcohol from his older homeless ‘friends’. He had hated how it made him feel afterwards, but it had been the only way he had known how to deal with his issues. At some point he had even had suicidal thoughts because the guilt and trauma from his childhood got so bad he woke up covered in sweat after the same old fire filled nightmare almost every night. And going from foster home to foster home and feeling like none of those people cared what he really did with his life definitely didn’t help him regain his feeling of self worth. He had no future, no plans, no real friends or family and nowhere to go.

Luckily, during his worst phase in his last foster home someone from his homeless group mentioned having a relative in Indiana and that he was hoping to move there at some point in hopes of getting a new start for his life. That idea sparked something in Leo’s mind and when he started planning his big escape, Indianapolis was the first place that he thought of.

When he finally met Jo and Emmie, he was surprised. Seeing them spending time with their then 5-year-old adoptive daughter, he could tell that these women genuinely cared about the little girl and did everything for her wellbeing. Not only that, Jo was a mechanic just like Leo’s real mother and they had also other things in common. With some patience and showing that they cared, simply by making sure that Leo ate, rested and had something to do with his time other than dwelling on his sad past, they eventually won him over. And when Leo discovered thanks to Jo’s help that he himself had the skills to become a mechanic someday as well, he finally had a goal to reach and studying wasn’t quite as big a struggle for him anymore.

Soon, however, Leo became afraid that Jo and Emmie wouldn’t want to keep him around because he still had some bad days when he literally had to be dragged from his bed. He was also worried that maybe the women had heard what he had done in his past and were silently judging him. Instead, they surprised him by telling him that they wanted to officially adopt him much like Georgina because he was a part of their family now. As an added bonus they assigned him for therapy sessions, which really helped and the days when he didn’t want to do anything became less and less. Leo knew he was still a work in progress but this family had helped him so much and he had found his purpose, his home, at Waystation.

Calypso had naturally noticed Leo’s silence so eventually she asked:

“Are you OK? You’re being unusually quiet.”

“Oh, yeah, just dandy!” Leo exclaimed, trying to act more like his usual self. “I was just thinking about the times when I first moved in here.”

“Really? Do you want to tell me more about that?” Calypso asked curiously.

“I guess it won’t hurt.” Leo shrugged. “I don’t remember if I’ve told you that I was in a lot of foster homes before I got here. Well, my last foster parents were really shitty people and I was this close to… I dunno, doing something desperate. So I decided to just leave and ended up here in Indianapolis. I, um, was homeless for a bit but when the social workers got me into their hands they found me a new family, Jo and Emmie. At first they were supposed to only foster me for a time being but they ended up adopting me instead. I… haven’t told this to anyone, but they probably saved my life by doing that. The Leo from that time was far from the Super-Sized McSizzle that I am now,” he attempted to joke, but Calypso ignored that. Instead, she said:

“I’m sorry you had to go through that… but I’m glad you opened up about it to me.” Leo’s heart did an extra jump when he saw Calypso smiling at him supportingly. He would never get used to that. “And I’m glad Jo and Emmie adopted you.”

“Yeah, me too… When I first saw the place I was like, ‘wow, I wish I could stay here’. Obviously the people here are awesome - they are my family - but that wasn’t the only thing the 15-year-old me cared about. The cars and other machines Jo was fixing? So cool. I had only seen something like that at my childhood home and the nostalgia hit me like ‘boom’ right away.”

“I should have known it was the machines that convinced you to stay here,” Calypso teased, but Leo knew her already too well to get provoked by that.

“Nah. I mean, they’re neat and all, but Jo and Emmie did the actual convincing.”

“Okay, I believe you. So, was Jo’s garage what made you want to become a mechanical engineer?” Calypso asked.

“I guess the spark was always there but it took me a while to convince myself that I should try to pursue that goal. But when I started going to school again regularly – long story, don’t ask – I noticed that the sciences were easy for me, I was also decent enough at drawing – which of course helps with the blueprints and stuff – and Jo let me try fixing some of the simpler machines she had and turned out I wasn’t half bad. It was Jo and Emmie who kept pushing me to apply for the uni, though, because they believed in me more than I did. I’m thankful that they did it but… sometimes I still doubt...” Leo hadn’t talked about his insecurities even to his adoptive mothers so he felt that the fact that he was able to open up about it to Calypso was a big deal.

“I’ve seen you fix countless items,” Calypso said slowly. “I’ve noticed that you’re always… so different when you’re fiddling with your machines. More relaxed. Calmer. Surer of what you do. And your eyes sparkle and you hum some old school rock song while you work and I can just tell that you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.”

Leo had to avert his eyes from her because he was afraid he would do something stupid like cry if he looked at her too long in that moment. No matter how encouraging his family, friends and the therapist were… it was still hard to get used to the compliments. And if he was honest to himself, he probably valued Calypso’s opinion more than anyone else’s at that point.

“Wow… umm… I don’t know how to answer that…” He rubbed the back of his neck.

“A simple thank you would probably do,” Calypso replied. “But know that I mean what I say. Now, how about you show me that famous garage?”

Leo did as he was told. He introduced Calypso to all the tools and machinery they used to fix whatever item the customer happened to bring in. He had a feeling that Calypso probably didn’t have any idea what he was talking about half the time because he tended to get very technical with the terms when he got excited, but she still seemed content listening to him. At least she wasn’t telling him to stop, which was definitely a plus.

To Leo’s surprise, Calypso went to the table where he and Jo used to draw their blueprints and asked him if she could see how he did it because she hadn’t seen his blueprints before. He complied, taking a pencil and a piece of blank paper from the stack and looking at Calypso questioningly.

“What do you want me to draw, then? I may have some experience on this but even I need some ideas first…”

“You can draw whatever you like. How about Festus?” Calypso requested.

“Festus?” Leo tapped the pencil against his chin for a moment, considering Calypso’s request. “Hmm, as you wish, Sunshine.”

He started making fast, swift motions on the paper and it didn’t take him very long to finish the sketch. Sure, the lines were a bit rough, but Calypso told him she was very impressed by how accurately he remembered even the little details, such as a dark spot on Festus’ back, how the tail curved when he was happy, and how he was missing a tiny piece of the tip of his left ear.

Leo felt a bit embarrassed by the praise. “It just comes with me hanging out with him so much. Nothing more to it, really.” He looked at the sketch for a moment. “Hold on, I feel like this is missing something. Can you look towards that window for a moment?”

“What, why?” Calypso asked, but turned anyway.

“Just adding something real quick,” Leo replied and started sketching again. He wondered if it was the lighting of the room but he thought Calypso’s cheeks seemed a bit darker than usual and she kept looking at the floor shyly. When he realized that he’d probably feel the same way if she was drawing him, he himself got flustered and decided to try to finish the drawing as quickly as possible. Within minutes he had drawn her next to Festus, playing with him, wearing the same holiday sweater and jeans she currently was.

“Can I see?” Calypso asked.

“Uh, yeah, sure.” Leo gave the picture to her. “It’s not detailed or anything but I tried.”

Calypso kept staring at it for a moment. “Leo… this looks great! I mean, I don’t think I am that pretty but I am quite amazed that you managed to do this that fast!”

Leo wanted to say that there was no way the picture did her justice but he knew that would be a never ending debate so instead he told her: “It’s the experience, Sunshine. When you draw hundreds of blueprints you learn to be fast.”

Calypso turned her attention to the drawing again. “Can I get it?” she asked after a while.

“Why?”

“Because Festus looks cute, you weirdo. That’s a good enough reason, right?”

“Fine, you can have it. I’m not sure where I’d put it anyway.” Leo shrugged. He wasn’t sure why Calypso possibly hanging the picture on her wall made him feel a bit weird. In a good way, though.

Once the two of them left the garage, Leo pointed at a smaller building next to the ‘main’ one. A couple of pointy ears were peeking from the upstairs windows. “That’s where our foster animals live. I think the kid me wished on some level that I could have a pet but my mom could never afford one… but Jo and Emmie have been fostering rescue cats and dogs even before I got here. One of them was Festus’ mum; she was pregnant when she arrived here. When she had her puppies, I noticed that one of them was a bit of an outsider and we instantly formed a bond. Jo and Emmie allowed him to stay here even though he sure would have had adopters.”

“That was really sweet of them,” Calypso commented. “Can we see who’s in there right now?”

“Sure but we should probably let Emmie know about it because she’s pretty strict about who can go in. She may ask us to wear ‘bunny suits’; some of the animals may be sick and we don’t wanna spread the bugs around.”

“No problem, let’s go see her then.”

When Emmie heard what Leo and Calypso were about to do, she promised to stop her Christmas chores for a while so she could show them (mainly Calypso) around in the rescue house. Currently she was fostering two young puppies who had been found on the streets without their mother, a mother cat with her 4 kittens who were getting close to their adoption age, and an older cat with some kidney issues who seemed to however adore the little kittens.

Leo was watching Calypso’s reactions closely as Emmie was introducing her to the kittens. Soon one of the braver kittens climbed on the girl’s lap, giving her a tiny ‘meow’ and then started nuzzling against her sleeve.

“Aww, look Leo! He loves me,” Calypso exclaimed, smiling widely as the kitten started purring loudly on her lap while she pet him. ‘He’s not the only one,’ Leo thought in his mind. Aloud he asked: “Why do you sound so surprised?”

“I guess because I’ve never really handled cats so I didn’t know how they’d react to me…” Calypso noted more seriously. But then the happiness returned to her face. “You know, this one reminds me of you! He also has long, black hair like you and fierce eyes.”

“Fierce?” Leo raised his eyebrow. “That’s what you think of me?”

Calypso seemed to want to explain but with Emmie in the room she didn’t go to details. “Um, maybe? Hey, look! Another one is coming!”

This time a small ginger kitten was approaching her and Calypso extended her arm so the kitten could sniff her. The group kept making small talk about the cats in the room and continued snuggling them, but Leo’s eyes were on Calypso the whole time. He could see how happy she was about such a simple thing as kittens and it made him feel lighter, warmer again, even though he had just remembered some very bad times a few moments earlier. Maybe all of it had been meant to happen, he wondered briefly. After all, it led him here, to his family… and Calypso.

#caleo #leo valdez #calypso #heroes of olympus #percy jackson and the olympians #trials of apollo #my fics #caleo uni au

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coffeeheartaddict2 · 1 year ago

Text

Cruel summer

Book: Open heart (post series)

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!mc Casey Ramsey; F!OC Christine Valentine, Tobias Carrick

Warnings: Mentions of pass pregnancy loss

Category: fluffy angst

Rating: Mature

Word count: 1578

Summary: It is five weeks after her missed miscarriage and instead of celebrating by announcing the news to the world, Casey is hit with another wave of grief as well a revelation from her mum Christine.

Disclaimer: non-original characters belong to Pixelberry.

Authors note: those who have read my fic Better days know that Casey is visited by her mum after her missed miscarriage. At the time I did not know if I would write a fic about this part but inspiration struck.

🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

It had been a warm summer by Bostonian standards, normally Casey would be making the most of the weather, beach days, romantic nights with her husband and bbq dinners with friends but this year was different. It had been five weeks when her world was turned upside down in the cruelest of ways. News of an unplanned but not unwanted pregnancy only to find out the next day that the baby did not survive.

The initial grief hit her hard, she even questioned if Ethan was going to stay. She thought she was turning a corner but then 5 weeks after having a d&c, her cycle came back, reminding her that her body had failed to sustain a new life and what hurt more is that if the pregnancy had stuck, they would be announcing to the world the happy news but instead she was sad, she was angry. Sad for what was lost and angry at herself for not being able to carry a baby to term. The doctor in her knew the statistics on miscarriage and how common they were and how little was known about the causes but it still did not quell her anger at herself. If anything it made it worse. Ethan was wracked with his own grief. There was a time he genuinely believed that he would never settle down and want have things like marriage and a family of his own but Casey was patient and understanding and showed him love that he thought himself unworthy of, this coupled with therapy to work through some of his issues and getting closure on why Louise abandoned him well, this helped him realize that he did want this life. It also hurt him to see Casey struggle with her grief too. They were in therapy together which was helping but grieving is never easy.

Casey’s mum Christine, finally made it to Boston to spend some time with her daughter. When her and Ethan called her and Michael about the miscarriage they were shocked and saddened. Christine wanted to be there right away but she decided to leave it a little bit. Christine had her own experiences with miscarriage but at this point it was unknown to her children and she wanted to give Casey some time before presenting this information. The flight from Oregon was pleasant and she stayed with Casey and Ethan.

Christine did expect her daughter to be sad, but she was not prepared for the anger that was accompanying the sadness.

“I understand being sad but why are you so angry?” Asked Christine timidly.

“If you had come last week I was better, truly but this week has been hard.” Replied Casey. Trying to hold back the tears.

“My cycle came back this week. That coupled with the fact that we would have been making an announcement this week…” Casey starts to cry.

Christine hugs her daughter and allows her to cry. After awhile Casey stops crying. “It just all feels so… so cruel. I know the baby was not planned, we had not even set a timeline for when we would start trying but the baby was wanted. I know I am more than just a breeding machine but I feel like that my body failed.”

Casey tries but fails to hold back more tears. “I know this happens, but the knowledge is not helping me.”

“My body has failed me too, sweetheart, more than once.

Casey looks at Christine, bewildered.

“What?”

“About fifteen months before you were born I had a miscarriage and I had another when Joel was 18 months old.”

“But why didn’t you say anything?”

“Firstly, until now it has never come up and secondly, is there an age appropriate way to tell your four year old and 18 month old that the reason why you are in pain is because you are losing a baby?”

Casey sat silently, in shock at what she had been told.

“We’re either of them like mine?”

“No sweetheart, I did not need surgery on either occassion.”

“Were you or dad upset or angry?”

Christine took a breath.

“Sad, of course I was but I do not recall being angry. The first time for us was like you and Ethan this time, a surprise but not unwanted. The second time I already had you and Joel so we took it as a sign that we were done.”

Casey nodded her head.

“How did you work through your grief and how did you decide to try again?”

“I just did what I needed to do. Yes I was sad but it is something that is not normally talked about…” Christine took a deep breath. “But I got through and that is what is important. As for trying again I can not answer for you.” Christine gave her daughter a hug and went into the kitchen to make a start on dinner.

Ethan arrived home and was greeted with the smell of a beef stroganoff. He greeted Casey and then made his way to the kitchen and greeted Christine. He was happy to see her, he knew how much Casey loved her family and she knew that the distance between Boston and Oregon made it difficult to see them. Christine asked how Ethan was going with everything. Ethan said he was going. Christine was happy to hear this. They enjoyed their meal and Christine turned in. Ethan and Casey sat out and enjoyed a warm evening on the balcony. Ethan could sense Casey was troubled.

“Mum told me today that she had two miscarriages, one before me and the other when I was four. I asked her how she got through and was she angry and how did you decide to try again. She said that she did what she had to go to get through but would not tell me about the decisions made to try again. I just feel so….so…. I don’t know.” Casey tries to hold back the tears but she failed.

“I would be lying if I said that I was not scared about the prospect of trying again, I do have anger but not towards you, at our profession yes, it is something we do not know the cause of yet we have made such great strides elsewhere. I am also scared that this will happen again.”

“This may be grief talk but do we try again?”

“Well not right now obviously. Not just because of the grief but whilst we are not it is a moot point.”

Casey nods in agreement.

“I love you, Ethan. Even though I am a hot mess right now…”

“You are my hot mess and we will come through this together. And I love you too.” He kisses the top of her head and she cuddles in close.

Over the coming days Casey processed her feelings. She also enjoyed having her mum around, despite the revelation, Casey started to again feel like that she was close to turning a corner again. Christine was also very heartened by how supported Casey was, not by Ethan but also her friends. She had met her friends at the engagement party and wedding so she knew how close but she was still heartened nonetheless. Casey’s six week appointment came and went. The surgery had gotten everything and Dr Watson was relieved that there was no adverse affects on her cycle with it coming back and being similar to what it was. She had the physical clearance to have intercourse but Casey still was not in the right headspace. Ethan was more than understanding and he was more than happy to have sexual intimacy happen on Casey’s timetable.

The time Christine spent in Boston flew by and before she knew it, the last weekend had arrived. Tobias invited Ethan, Casey and Christine over for a bbq. Ethan and Tobias got competitive about the food and the grilling but it was still fun and a lovely evening. Christine had never seen a competitive side to Ethan so it was a shock. Casey told her that it was par for the course with them but at least it was not toxic like it had become in medical school. Whilst the boys were cooking Tobias asked how they both were.

“Getting there, Casey has enjoyed having her mum here and I think it has been helpful. Everything was all good with Dr Watson but we are on Casey’s timetable now.”

“That is good news.”

It is Tobias, I understand her fear this time, I am scared too, it is grief that I am not in a hurry to relive.”

“That is understandable but I am sure you will have success at some point.”

“Thank you Tobias, I am glad we are friends again, don’t get me wrong it has been good having Casey’s friends…”

“I get what you mean. I am glad we are friends again too. It has sucks seeing you go through this but you will get through it.”

“Thanks Tobias, truly.” Both men embrace and get back to the bbq.

The next day Christine heads back to Oregon. It was confronting seeing her daughter so upset and angry but as the trip went on she understood why and most importantly she was loved, not only by Ethan but her friends and she was hopeful that like her, the next time she had news it will be happy and she would be a grandma.

———

Authors note 2. Casey’s anger is real, I know when I had mine it was frustrating because you

Did not know the cause. As regular readers know Casey and Ethan do have two children and no more miscarriages. If you read this far, thank you.

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partywithgyu · 4 years ago

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𝓢𝓬𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓶𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓒𝓸𝓵𝓸𝓻𝓼

//𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓲 𝓢𝓸𝓸𝓫𝓲𝓷//

♡♡♡♡♡

Pairing: Soobin x Reader.

Tag: Café!au.

W/C: 1810.

Chapter summary: Soobin starts working at Screaming Colors.

Chapter 1.

♡♡♡♡♡

Sage green were the tiles on the wall. you faced as you arranged the many things placed on the counter. Packets of sugar you placed in a cup. The cup was to be placed on the collection counter. There were a series of tasks you'd have to do every morning to prepare for the day ahead of you. You enjoyed doing them. At least, now you did. For life seemed to be more monotonous, you found tiny packets of joy in tasks as simple as arranging packets of sugars.

The sound of the door swinging open made you look up. Finally, your co-workers Huening Kai and Beomgyu had arrived. It was something you'd anticipate. Working in a busy café all by yourself would be difficult. The place was understaffed because it had opened recently. You even brought the issue up to the owner once. The old lady told you, with the sweetest smile, that she would hire another person soon. All you could do was try to not get distracted by her colorful, fancy earrings as she spoke. Seeing her smile, you smiled, hoping she'd stick to her word. Well, she didn't hire anyone very soon.

She stuck to her words, though. Today was the day the new guy was going to start working. "Good morning," said the two boys in unison as they walked toward you. "Morning," you greeted them. Your eyes then landed on the boy who had walked in behind them. The tall boy gave you a small, polite smile. "Good morning," he said awkwardly, making Huening Kai laugh. Laughing when nothing funny had happened was a very common thing for Huening Kai to do. You were used to it. "He's Soobin, the new guy," informed Beomgyu. "Oh. Nice to meet you." "You too."

On your first day of work, you were unsure of if you would be decent at the job even. Well, you were pretty good. The best thing about being a barista was the power you held. You had the power to set the tone of someone's day. People walking in, yet to consume their daily dose of caffeine, interacted with you every morning. You tried to make the interactions as positive as possible, even though some of them seemed rather cranky with clouded minds.

Your interactions with the customers were amazing. At least, that's what Soobin thought. Taking orders was your job. Preparing the drinks and meals, were the jobs assigned to Beomgyu and Huening Kai. Though Beomgyu had taken over the duty to explain to him how the café would be run, you had managed to gain his interest. You truly enjoyed the job, he could conclude. The morning he had spent placing muffins and pastries on the plates, when they were demanded and then washing the rather colorful plates and cups.

"I hope you had a good first day," you said to Soobin. There was a smile on your face as you adjusted the bag over your shoulder. The shift did come to an end after all. It was evening when the four of you found yourselves walking down the same lane as you always did. "Yes. Thank you," he said to you, making you chuckle. You found the formality cute. His nervousness showed through his awkward mannerism. "Don't thank her. I taught you everything," said Beomgyu, confident as ever. He really did take pride in his mentoring. Soobin shyly turned to him. "Thank you," he said to Beomgyu. It was a rather funny sight to watch someone actually take Beomgyu seriously. Huening Kai and you shared a look before laughing. "Wow. He's so nice," you praised. "You were like this when you joined too. Look at you now," said Huening Kai, earning a light slap on his arm. "I am nice."

The not so meaningful conversation came to an end when the lane did. Waving at the other three guys, you turned to the left. Everytime you'd part ways with them here. This was when you felt more lonely because someone once waited for you, right at the turn, on weekends. The boy named Yeonjun, was your lover. Outside the café, you were lonely because most of your time you would spend with him. Living in apartments just a series of steps away, made it easy for you to do so. When you two were kids, you would build sand castles with him. That was your earliest memory of being his friend. The latest memory was the one of him ending the relationship for he had to move to the states. You two were distant, soon the memories would be. He hadn't even cared to call you once or twice. Not even his new number you knew. The birthday wish you had sent to them on instagram, was never read. As if, he had realized that he was happier without the relationship.

Still you tried to convince yourself otherwise. You held onto meaningless hope, you wished you could let go of. You couldn't. Such things weren't as easy to you as you wished they were.

On Sunday, Soobin was the second one to arrive. He had walked in to see you lost in your thoughts as you stared at the green tiles. The golden sunlight highlighted the tip of your nose. Your lips were curved into a frown. It was a sight beautiful but sad. You were more cheerful the day before. He cleared his throat to earn a cheerful greeting. You smiled when you saw him standing there. "Good morning," you said to him. "Good morning," he said shyly before heading to the back room.

Few minutes later, you watched Beomgyu and Huening Kai running into the store. Startled, you could only question the reason. "Why are you guys running?," you asked. The two boys were panting. Beomgyu even sat down on the floor. This only made you wonder if you should lock the door or something. "Will you guys answer?" Huening Kai decided to destroy your curiosity. "We saw Miss Park's car on our way here. Didn't want her to know that we were late," he let you know. The two of them then rushed into the back room. Soobin who walked out as they went in, gave them a look of curiosity. "The owner is on her way," you let him know. "The two of them don't want her to know that they're late again so the rush," you explained. The tall boy came and stood beside you. "They're late often?," he asked casually.

"Yeah. The two of them plan on coming here together. Beomgyu oversleeps. Huening Kai is an angel who waits for him without complaining. That's how they get late," you went on. Soobin's lips formed a small 'oh.' His face to you seemed rather beautiful. The comforting kind of beautiful. It was his nose that caught your attention. It was so cute. You wished you could tell it out loud or maybe poke his cheeks. You couldn't. That wouldn't be a normal thing to do. So, you didn't do it. You looked outside, through the glass door to see the owner of the café named Screaming Colors, getting out from the red SUV.

Bright colors really were her thing. At least it suited her bright personality. Even this early in the morning she could get herself to walk into the café with a smile on her face.

"Good morning, Miss Park," you greeted the lady.

"Good morning, Y/N," she said to you with a warm smile. Miss Park was a stylish woman. Anyone you knew her, knew that. On this day she wore an orange coat over black trousers. To compliment the coat, she wore huge, sunflower earrings. The yellow color was indeed eye catching. "How are you?," she asked. Dragging your attention away from the yellow earrings you looked at her. "I am fine. How have you been, ma'am?," you asked her. "I've been good. I thought of coming in and checking if everything is going well," she said as looked around the café.

"So, this is the new guy?," she asked. "Yes." "Nice to meet you. I am Choi Soobin." The tall boy bowed slightly while introducing himself. "Nice to meet you, Soobin. I hope you work diligently," she said. She always smiled as she spoke. Some giggles too were heard as she spoke. This woman always sounded so happy, you felt rather dull compared to her. "Where are the other two guys?"

"We were cleaning the staff room," lied Beomgyu as he walked outside the room. The taller boy, who definitely didn't seem like a good liar, followed the older. "Ah. Good. Good." Them being praised by the older woman for work that you did wasn't the best thing in the world. It just made you stare at Beomgyu with a blank expression. He just gave you a small, mischievous smile. These were the things you had to deal with quite often now.

"I know we don't have a lot of staff. It's a new café. There are no dorms around. It's difficult," she said to the four of you. Her apologetic tone made you feel the need to tell her to not worry. But then again, the manager wouldn't even arrive before noon. Also, Beomgyu really couldn't even get up on time. On a few days, he had definitely arrived much later than he had today. You noticed that his apron wasn't even tied properly. He wanted to make you facepalm so hard. You could not do that. So all you did was give him a small glare.

Soobin looked over at you, secretly wishing for this boring conversation to end soon. It was rather awkward to him. Especially since it was just his second day of work. But then again, he didn't have a lot of plans for the day. His best friend who seemed to have been making their friendship complicated had moved to the states. No explanations for the impulsive kisses were left behind for him. He was left to remain curious. Wondering if he was just one of the many people Yeonjun had made such impulsive decisions with. He wished he would have been more than that. Somehow, no one in college felt like they were more than that. They were all left to wonder if there was a reason he didn't date anyone. He was a player they assumed. To Soobin, he didn't seem like one. He was so caring and genuine. Someone Soobin could connect with. He had to be more than just a player.

He would forget about him sooner or later, he assured himself. His classmates had stopped talking about him. His name was not mentioned as much in conversations anymore.

"Well, what about your friend who was interested?," the old woman asked you.

"Yeonjun? He moved to the states."

♡♡♡♡♡

To head to my masterlist click here.

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wu-sisyphus-gang · 3 years ago

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Motion Sickness Chapter 71

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I leaned against my sword as the man introduced as 'Vine' carried Marrow away on his shoulder.

Ruby came dashing down from the observation box. She let go of Weiss's hand and Weiss followed at a more subdued pace with Penny in tow.

"That was amazing, Cloud. The way you fly around. You've grown so much."

I looked away from Ruby's praise. Color rising to my cheeks. She hopped up and kissed me on the cheek. I risked a glance down at where she was glowing up at me. I could feel her cinnamon and rose flavored aura.

"So you are Cloud? Not Jaune?" Penny asked. "I thought Ruby's boyfriend was named Jaune."

"It's complicated," I said. "Salem named me Jaune. Well her or Merlot. I'm not attached to it since I learned that."

"Well you did well at any rate, Cloud. You took on two Ace Operative members at the same time. I assure you that's not easy. Even I haven't done that yet," Penny went on.

"Yes it was very impressive, Cloud," Weiss said. "You've grown so much. It's unbelievable."

What was unbelievable was the thought that both these two ladies had the hots for me. I was still trying to wrap my mind around it. I could tell Weiss was too. She seemed a little flustered but just like Ruby she came up and pecked my cheek and walked back blushing. She was a little more uncomfortable with public displays of affection than Ruby was but it was something we would just have to learn.

We'd have to find an appropriate balance that made everybody feel right.

Or they would get tired of putting up with me and decide they wanted to be with each other. You know what I had my money on.

"Well thank you Weiss."

"Wait, I don't understand," Penny began. "Ruby, how does your relationship work?"

"Well I like Weiss and Cloud. And Weiss likes me and Cloud too."

"So the three of you are together?"

"That's right," I said.

"That's so fascinating. Relationships are so interesting. It seems a little..."

"Awkward?" I asked. "We're still ironing out the kinks."

"I wasn't going to say anything," Penny rambled. "It's not my business."

Ruby grinned and put an arm around Weiss and I. I smiled down at her. Her arm barely wrapped halfway around me at the waist.

"Penny, you were made in a lab, weren't you?" I began.

"I was. My father created me. Why do you ask?"

"Cloud was made in a laboratory too," Weiss said. Her eyes went wide perhaps realizing where I was going with it.

"Well I was wondering how you stay so upbeat? When I learned where I came from I was depressed as hell."

"Well for one thing I always knew where I came from. Perhaps that helped me," Penny began. "Why is it depressing?"

"Well we're basically both baking soda and vinegar volcanoes."

"You mean because I'm not even a real person," Penny confirmed.

"Me too. You’re not special," I ran with her train of thought.

"Oh would you stop that." Weiss hit my chest with the back of her hand. It was affectionate though. Her fingers lingered and our aura's buzzed together like electricity. "You're real."

"Both of you are real people," Ruby said.

"Hardly. Barely." I breathed. "If at all."

"Stop it!" Ruby protested. She slapped me harder on the leg than Weiss did. Much more insistent and less flirtatious.

"But you were made for Salem, correct?" Penny wondered.

"I was technically a failure. A prototype. I was made to be thrown away."

"That's sad," Penny said.

"Penny!" Ruby exclaimed.

"Well it is. I never went through a prototype phase like that. My father doesn't have the aura for it," Penny continued. "But you are loved. Doesn't that feel good?"

Weiss blushed again. She was still approaching her feelings tentatively. It had taken enough out of her to confess them, I suppose.

"It does…" I trailed. "I guess I get caught up thinking about it too much. I'm sinking in thinking about something depressing."

"I can see how you would get sad thinking about that. I suppose I am a prototype, too, but I was never meant to be tossed aside."

I nodded. "Mother just found another use for me. Otherwise I think she would have killed me. Her or my father."

"Cloud, I think you meant Salem," Weiss cut in.

"When?" I asked. I was genuinely lost.

"My father cares about me. Perhaps that's the difference. My parent cares about me," Penny went on.

"He has no idea when he does it sometimes," Weiss murmured to Ruby.

"I noticed that," Ruby returned. "He even did it before Haven once. I didn't think much of it at the time."

"That's decidedly bad news," Weiss went on.

"No idea when I do what?" I asked.

"You call Salem 'mother' often," Weiss said.

"I think it just slips out of you," Ruby muttered like it was a secret, nodding along with her own words.

"Oh shit, my bad."

"It's not inaccurate, though, is it? What's wrong with it?" Penny asked.

"I fucking hate her. That's what's wrong with it."

"I see how that could cause problems. I'm on good terms with my father so I don't really have that problem. I also don't have a mother," she happily chirped.

"Luckily I have these two," I picked Ruby and Weiss up with one arm each. Ruby giggled and Weiss let out an adorable yelp of surprise before she slapped my collar again, it was still slightly flirtatious and her hand lingered there longer than it needed to. It seemed like she was just coming out of her shell when it came to me, like she wasn't quite sure what she wanted, especially in terms of shows of affection. Hopefully we had time to figure it out. "They're both in my camp. Even though all the odds are stacked against me," I declared.

"Would you put me down, you gorilla." Weiss demanded. Her face was an adorable beet red.

I did.

I still held Ruby up. She wrapped her arms around my head and kissed me.

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"The last time we spoke it was about how you were an agent of Salem's. I'm sure you could imagine my confusion at the events of Haven," Ozpin said through Oscar's lips.

I was alone with him in his room at the academy. We were bound to talk eventually. When he summoned me I figured it would be better to get it over and done with.

"Yeah well imagine my surprise when it turned out to be true. I was Salem's agent. That's why I was at Beacon."

"I see. But you yourself had no idea."

I nodded. "False and half true memories all the way down. Memories of family from before are all like that. Even of where and how I grew up. I just never put that much thought into it."

"I see. But you know better now?"

"Maybe a little. I'm still working out what's true and false. I'm mostly counting everything before initiation as false, though. Some things were half true. Like my sisters."

"And you know this because…?"

"Salem mentioned them when she captured my mind at Haven."

"But you broke free. That explains why we were attacked by those looking for the relic. One question answered, at least."

"The others mentioned that too. That maybe they were my sisters. It's possible. They were successes made by a different scientist," I said.

"Whereas you were a failure created by Merlot," he clarified. He jabbed his cane at me as he said it.

"That's right."

"For a failure you have absurd strength. You killed Tyrian. That's no mean feat."

"Thank you…" I trailed.

"I can't help but wonder if there is some of my sort of magic in play for you. Aiding you along the way."

"If there is, it's well hidden behind my semblance and usage of dust."

"Why don't we try a simple exercise? It used to be well practiced back in the old world when magic like mine was common. Try to turn this needle into a feather."

He set a needle down on the desk before me.

I stared at it. I had no idea where to even begin with something like that for all that it seemed like a simple request.

I reached out and picked up the needle. Nothing called out to me in terms of where to proceed with it. It was just a needle. And I was just a man. How could I possibly transform it?

"Yes. Indeed, it took Oscar many attempts to succeed in this magic and I knew how it was done."

"I don't know where to start," I informed him.

He reached out and I was sort of able to feel what he was doing. I wasn't sure if it was aura or something more but I could tell something was up as he transformed the needle into a feather and back again.

"Now you try, Mr. Arc."

"It's Strife now. Arc was the name Salem gave me."

"I see. Very well, Mr. Strife."

I reached out once more and focused. Nothing happened. I imagined the needle turning into a feather and let out a little of my aura.

Nothing happened.

Because it was a needle. It was made of metal and a feather was not. If I hadn't just seen it done I would say that it was impossible.

"You must believe in yourself. Magic is about the things you can believe in. If you can't believe in it, you will never succeed.

I tried again. I tried to believe that I could.

I think I can.

The needle might have wobbled a little but it didn't turn into anything.

"Keep the needle, Mr. Strife. Practice a little every day. We will yet see if progress can be made with you. Focus and believe in your magic. You must extend your will in order to accomplish any magic."

"That sounds like bullshit. No offense."

"Believe, Mr. Strife. Just as you believe in your semblance. Just as you believe in your dust. It is the same. It can be. If you choose to make it so."

"I'll keep the needle. I'll keep trying," I promised him from my seat.

"See that you do. You could be an enormous asset to our side. I know you feel as though you cannot make up for the harm you have caused but that, too, is a matter of will and belief. I doubt Mr. Lie and Ms. Valkyrie would want you to give up so easily."

I hardly wanted to hear their names.

"Is that all?"

"Not quite. I know this may be uncomfortable for you but I wish to hear about how Salem was able to control you."

I nodded and grimaced.

"She spoke and her words had power to them. She told me to stay silent and I almost bit my tongue off."

"But you were still competent enough to slay Mr. Lie and Ms. Valkyrie? Would you say her control over you was both subconscious and conscious? You were able to plan for her desires but unable to resist them?"

"That's exactly right. It was both. She...she owned me. Completely."

"That's troubling. There is some magic for such a thing but it mostly implies one or the other. Not both."

"I'm telling you that she had all of me."

"I believe you, Mr. Strife. It is troubling is all. What happened next?" He asked.

"She talked to me. About Merlot and my sisters. She said we had long been in her dreams. Then Nora and Ren came in. She told me to kill them both and I had to obey."

I didn't like talking about it. I didn't even like to think about it. It was my lowest moment. It brought a lone tear to my eye which I wiped away with my right hand's forefinger.

"Well Mr. Strife, the control over you is very troubling indeed."

"Do you know how she did it? How she's in my dreams?"

"She is in your subconscious. When she spoke to you she was able to rise to the surface. That's how she took control. It must be in the nature of your connection to her from being grown from her cells."

"How do I fight it?" I pleaded.

"You already are, young man. Do not give up. Resist her. Resist her nightmares. Fight against them and rage against her ability to over power you. That is the only way you will stay in control. There is no shortcut, no easy path for you. Her control over you is not a simple thing for her either. I suspect you may be able to influence her as well."

"She's so strong." I didn't mean for it to come out as a whimper but it did a little. "She's so old. She's a goddess."

"Not quite."

"Then she's the closest thing to one without actually being one."

"Perhaps. She is powerful, but so are you. Resist Mr. Strife."

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"You might have the others fooled but I know what you are." Blake informed me. It was just the two of us in team RWBY's room while I waited for Weiss and Ruby to come back.

"I haven't fooled anybody. I've outright told them all what I am. The shit I'm capable of. It's not my fault that they chose to not believe me anyways."

"You're taking advantage of them."

"Maybe," I agreed. "What should I do? In your professional opinion, of course."

"Make sure you can't hurt anybody else."

"What? Kill myself? I thought about it. I even tried to."

She looked away from me. Wouldn't meet my eye. "What happened?"

"Couldn't hold my aura low enough to cut through my wrists. It was just after I broke Salem's spell. I was a little shaken up," I said.

"And now?"

"Now I'm on a lot of medications that are supposed to stop me from thinking suicide is my only option."

"Does it work? The meds?"

"A little. I'm still pretty fucked up. I've been open and clear with everybody about that. No tricks."

"You know how Ruby is. She just wants to see the best in people."

"And Weiss and Yang?"

"Weiss never wanted to believe it about you. She was falling for you. She had rose tinted specs. She couldn't see the thing you've become. Yang just wants what's best for Ruby in all this. It's hard to believe you're it, however."

"The thing I've become," I laughed. "You know what I think, Blake?"

"What's that?" She asked.

"You're absolutely goddamn right. I'm a fucking monster. I have killed and maimed and tortured. I killed my own best friends."

"You said Salem made you do it."

"And she did. But that only makes me a tool. Her weapon. That doesn't make the things I've done any less real. Most people get to wonder about whether they have free will. I don't. She speaks and I have to obey."

"So I want you to stay away from my friends."

"Hey," I said. "They're my friends too. Or girlfriends. Trying to wrap my mind around that one."

"Never thought it would happen to you? I thought that was most guys' dream. To have two beautiful women in love with them."

"Yes well. Compare how pathetic I was freshmen year to the shit that's happened to me now and suddenly it wasn't exactly in my realm of possibility or even the realm of my imagination. I thought just Ruby loved me. I come here and find out she's got some threesome business up her sleeve with Weiss who also wants a piece of me. It blew my mind. Especially after freshman year and how things were with Weiss."

"But you didn't say no. You said ‘yes.’"

"I said I was willing to try. Whatever form that may happen to land. Ruby and Weiss may decide they're better off without me," I said. "That would surprise me less than not."

"You hate yourself," Blake realized.

"You would too if you were me. Who wouldn't? I killed my best friends. I see Salem sometimes out of the corner of my eye. She lingers there just beyond the edge of my perception. Just beyond the things that are real. She'll want me to kill again. I can feel it ."

"Which is why I want you to leave my friends be. They don't need to be caught up in what you are," she said. She folded her arms at that.

"I need help. I can't survive without them. I tried living that way. Mostly alone. It didn't work out for me. And I'm right where I need to be to fight Cinder when she comes again. My hated enemy. I take it you haven't talked to them about this."

She shook her head. "They don't want to hear that you're unstable. Especially Ruby. Weiss at least I feel like I can get through to sometimes, but Ruby is just so happy you're back and safe."

"Am I back and safe?" I wondered.

"Well? Are you?" She shot back.

"Perhaps. I have psychic trauma that the medicine just isn't hitting. It's helping with my hallucinations but not the other stuff. My fears are too real. They keep pushing me up on the tranquilizers and sedatives like the things I'm afraid of aren't there. But they are. They can get me."

"You don't fight like you're sedated. You fight very awake and aware."

"Well thank you," I decided to take that as a compliment even if she didn't mean it as such.

I clutched at my side where Taurus had sliced me. It was healing a little still and I got the occasional pang of pain from it.

"Are you hurt?"

"I was. This White Fang guy did a number on me. He got lucky."

"What was their name?"

"Adam Taurus. Evidently he's this ol-"

"You fought Adam Taurus? When? He's in town?"

"It was a few days before my voluntary incarceration. You know him?"

"I did. Once upon a time." She rubbed her right arm with her left hand. "He was my partner in the White Fang before I turned."

"He's a real piece of work," I said. "I take it that wasn't always the case."

"No it wasn't. And are you really one to talk?"

"At least I know it."

"And you think that helps?"

"It literally couldn't make things worse for me. What do you want from me, Blake? You want me to kill Taurus? Would that make you happy? You want me to kill myself or go back into exile?"

Her ears flattened subconsciously.

"I just want my friends to be safe."

"I'll keep them safe," I vowed.

"Even from yourself?" She asked.

"I swear to do my best. What more can you ask from me? Besides for me to stop existing. Because I have a feeling you don't see that as a real solution either."

"So long as you don't hear her real voice you're in control?"

"That seems to be the prognosis."

"What about recordings?"

"I think she has to be behind it for real. There's a magic to it."

"And you can break the spell?" She reassured.

"With enough time."

She hesitated, her arms folded. She nodded once. "Then you have my tentative permission."

"Well thank you. I was really worried about what you thought." I paused. "That came out sarcastic but you're their teammate and friend. I think you were my friend once too."

"I still am. I think. It's just complicated."

"Mind control. It's a hell of a poison."

"I don't blame you. I just want what's best for them," she said.

"I understand. Really. I do. I'm the leader of the 'this sucks' camp. I do my best to remind them at every turn. I think they see me as someone who needs their help."

"You think it's the Florence Nightingale effect?"

"That's…?"

"When nurses fall in love with their patient."

"Ah, maybe a little, then," I muttered.

"You underestimate their feelings for you. They really care about you. We all do. We hate to see the suffering you're going through."

"You're a bunch of empaths. One and all."

Ruby, Weiss and Yang walked in and saw us talking.

"Oh, Blake and Cloud…" Ruby began.

"Are you…?" Weiss trailed off.

"We were talking about Adam Taurus," I covered for us both. "I ran into him a few weeks ago. Before I was hospitalized."

"You fought him?" Ruby asked.

"And I've got the scars to prove it," I said.

"And what did you think of him?" Yang's eyes flickered between Blake and I. She had a sort of nervous energy to her.

"He got lucky. I can take him. Next time," I informed them.

"So Jaune-sorry. I meant Cloud. We were thinking. That is Ruby and I…" Weiss struggled.

I just cocked my head and listened to her.

"We wanted to try a date. The three of us," Ruby supplied. She sounded much less nervous than Weiss did about it.

Weiss had probably never been on a date like this where Ruby and I had. I wasn't sure what all she and Neptune had gotten up to and it probably wouldn't be for the best to ask.

"Yes. That," Weiss managed. A rosy blush colored her cheeks.

"I'm game," I said. "Do you mind if I bring my weapon?" I'd be uncomfortable walking around without Crocea Mors.

"Well we weren't going to leave them out of this." Ruby rolled her eyes. Her excitement was infectious and I grinned down at her tiny form. Weiss cracked a smile at her.

"I suppose you would consider this a six way date with our weapons involved," Weiss teased. She sounded a little more relaxed.

"A little," Ruby poked her forefingers together with a new found nervous energy. "They're important. Cloud also wasn't here when I got Crescent Rose upgraded. He might like to meet her again."

I laughed. "Of course, Rubes."

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-WG

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