#I am so lost on this website
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sugar, spice, and everything nice
summary: you decide to bake brownies in the middle of the night, bakugou just wants a glass of water, the two of you have a conversation
bkg x gn!reader - wc: 3.5k
warnings: just some cursing here and there, that's all!
“Ah, shit.”
You let out a curse under your breath, already moving to get a spoon to retrieve the piece of eggshell that had managed to escape into the batter. With slow and careful movements, you guided the spoon up the inside of the bowl while balancing the frivolous escapee that was threatening to slip back into the batter on the tip.
It was the middle of a Thursday night and the U.A. dorms were asleep, the students being exhausted after the recent spike in villain activities. It was understandable, being tired with everything that was going on, although for some reason, you couldn’t seem to fall asleep at all, seemingly too much on your mind. After alternating between tossing and turning in your bed and mindlessly staring at the dark ceiling for what felt like hours – a look at the time told you it actually had been hours – the urge to bake brownies had inexplicably taken a hold of you.
For a moment you had just laid there, weighing the pros and cons of a spontaneous past-curfew, definitely-against-the-rules trip to the dorm kitchen for a midnight baking-session, when, after a couple seconds of inner debate, you had decided to just go through with it, throwing the covers off of yourself with a quiet “fuck it”.
Now you were here, in the kitchen, trying really hard not to make a sound in order to not wake any others – you had even resolved to mixing everything with a whisk instead of a hand mixer, even though an annoying voice at the back of your head was telling you that the bedrooms were too far from the kitchen for anybody to hear you, anyways.
Nevertheless, now you were dedicated to see this through to the end and continued on whisking away. Once you were satisfied with the look of the batter, you moved on to measure the flour, when, all of a sudden, the ceiling lights of the kitchen turned on, startling you. Originally, you had only turned on the small light above the stove in order not to draw attention from outside, even resorting to your phone flashlight to find the ingredients you needed in the cupboards, so the bright lights from above were a little blinding.
“What the-“, disoriented, you shielded your eyes and turned around to the direction of where you thought the light switches were, trying to identify whoever had busted your little baking session. Still blinking to adjust to the sudden brightness, you expected Mr. Aizawa to be standing in the doorway, ready to give you a lecture. However, you were proven wrong as a gruff voice that definitely did not belong to your sensei cut through the silence.
“The fuck are you doing?”
Bakugou Katsuki stood at the doorway, wearing sweatpants and a tank top, both in black, and looking at you as if you had just grown a second head or something.After recovering from the initial shock (and relief at not receiving detention for your stupid idea), you tried to think of a reasonable way to justify still being up.
“Uhhh…”, you said dumbly, trying to think of an explanation that wasn’t just ‘I couldn’t sleep so I did what any sensible person would do and started baking brownies in the middle of the night in our school’s dorm kitchen. Any more questions?
Instead, you uttered a lame “I’m…baking?”.
Wow, what a great explanation. He surely wouldn’t think you were weird now.
If he doesn’t already think that, you told yourself.
Bakugou raised an eyebrow at that, looking even more irritated than before and like he wanted to say something else, but he stopped himself, huffed out a breath of air and walked towards the cupboard with the glasses and cups, muttering something about him being “way to fuckin’ tired for this shit right now”.
Still a bit stunned, you watched him fill a glass of water under the tab, lean on the counter and chug it. Before he could fill it up again, though, he seemed to notice your stare on him and he side-eyed you. “What.”
Realizing that you must’ve probably looked even more insane now, you quickly avoided his piercing gaze and turned back to your brownies-in-progress, resuming your previously interrupted task of measuring the flour after muttering a quick “nothing!”
Pressing a few buttons on the scale, you added a quieter “I was just surprised to see someone else up, is all.”
You grabbed another bowl and set it on the scale, daring to look up at him again, only to find his eyes still focused on you, much to your surprise. Somehow, the feeling of his eyes on you made you feel…nervous. You tried not to let it show and instead busied yourself with your phone, checking the rest of the recipe. Because he did not immediately make the move to head back to his room, you tried to drown out his presence as best as you could.
Your relationship to Bakugou was…normal, you thought. As far as you were able to tell with his fiery attitude, he didn’t hate you. That was something, you supposed. He didn’t seem too concerned with you; in class when you were teamed up with him or pitted up against him in teams, he seemed to know enough about your quirk in order to form fitting strategies either with or against it, but when the two of you were teamed up there was someone else from class with you pretty much every time so the two of you had never quite been…alone like this, now that you thought about it.
“The hell you making, anyway?”
His voice interrupted your thoughts and you turned back to him, still leaned against the counter but his body angled more in your direction.
“Just some brownies for everyone, I thought we could eat them tomorrow after school or something.” Suddenly you had a thought. “I’ll probably just say I made them yesterday or something, they’ll probably think it’s weird I made them in the middle of the night. Like, who just bakes brownies instead of sleeping, right?”, you let out a nervous laugh at that.
He stayed silent at that, leaving you to wallow in slight embarrassment, mulling over how you would explain to your classmates where the batch of brownies had magically appeared from. Was there a student with a brownie quirk at U.A.?
“You’re a dumbass.”
“Huh?” You looked back up at him dumbfounded, eyes having unfocused with your internal chaotic monologue.
He rolled his eyes and walked past you, the scent of his cologne drifting past you in a wave of sandalwood and something else you couldn’t quite decipher. It smelled good. Not that it mattered.
“I said, you’re a dumbass.” Now on your other side, he grabbed the knife and cutting board with the chocolate you had prepared and started chopping.
“Wha-“, you cut yourself off, having to shake your head in order to process what was going on. “What are you doing?”
“What’s it look like I’m doing? Cuttin’ your dumb chocolate for your dumb brownies or whatever,” he shot you a dirty look.
You wanted to argue that neither the chocolate nor the brownies were ‘dumb’, but you held yourself back. Instead, you rephrased the question because technically he had answered it. “Why are you doing that?”
He tch-ed. “Because it’s fucking late and we got team exercise tomorrow and I ain’t losin’ because some teammate of mine was too tired!” His brows were furrowed now and he was chopping faster, the chunks decreasing in size at an almost alarming rate.
You stopped short. “There’s no guarantee for me being in your team, though.”
“What’d you say?”
“Huh? Uh, nothing, nothing.”
Choosing not to argue with him about his…peculiar way of talking, you watched him cut the chocolate. The pieces were pretty small now, however you figured it would be useless to tell him to stop at this point. Instead, you continued working on the batter, mixing the flour and cocoa powder into the bowl with the eggs, sugar and butter. A sort of comfortable silence settled over the two of you, the crunching of the chocolate under the knife and the whisk scraping the sides of the bowl somehow added to the atmosphere.
After a while of whisking and spacing out you realized that you could no longer hear the chocolate being cut, so you turned to your right to see Bakugou rinsing off the knife in the sink. Your eyes then drifted to the cutting board where you beheld…chocolate…powder.
What in the-
You snorted. Before you could stop yourself, your whole body was shaken with giggles and you quickly covered your mouth with your hand. Bakugou’s head snapped towards you, his face contorted into an irritated frown.
“What the fuck?”, seemingly more irritated with each word, he got louder. “What’s so funny, huh?” Dropping the knife in the sink and drying his hands on a kitchen towel which was unceremoniously thrown somewhere on the counter, he walked so he was standing right in front of you.
“Shhh”, you managed between giggles, “you’re being too loud!” After wiping a tear from your eye and taking another look at his face, where you thought you could see some confusion and maybe uncertainty hidden behind the irritation, you decided to explain the reason for your amusement to him.
“The chocolate-“, you giggled, “you-“, you pointed towards the now-powder when you broke out into another fit of hushed laughter.
“The fuck’s wrong with it?” he spat, looking at it for a moment before his eyes snapped back to your face. You failed to notice the tips of his ears reddening as his gaze lingered on your grinning mouth.
He genuinely seemed unaware as to what you were laughing about, so you tried to collect yourself. Taking a deep breath and holding back any more laughter that threatened to escape you, you changed your mind. “You know what? It’s fine.” Grabbing the cutting board, you dumped the powder into the batter and mixed it. “It’s perfect, see?” For better emphasis, you held the bowl so he could look at the contents, not that there was much to notice, but you somehow felt like reassuring him.
He scoffed. “Whatever.”
From the far end of the counter, you grabbed the tray you prepared and poured the batter inside before putting it in the oven, closing the door and setting the temperature. As you straightened your back, it was quiet again and the sudden awkwardness that filled the air made you want to busy your hands with something, so you started cleaning up.
All the while you were putting back the ingredients to their places in the cupboards, you felt Bakugou’s eyes on you. For some reason, he hadn’t moved from his spot and all of a sudden you were reminded of the pajamas you were currently wearing: checkered blue pajama pants and an oversized, washed-out t-shirt with a character of a children’s TV show and the word SMILE! in bold, glittery letters on the front of the t-shirt. You felt blood rushing to your face and tried to subtly angle your body away from Bakugou.
After another moment of silence that felt like an eternity, he cleared his throat from behind you. Currently, you were putting away the sugar (the last of your ingredients still standing around – after remembering your outfit you had tried to avoid having to use the cupboard closest to Bakugou) when you stole a glance at him. He looked like he wanted to say something, opening and closing his mouth a couple of times.
“Don’t-“, he cut himself off, as if he was struggling to find the right words. After a pause of another few seconds, he said, “Don’t think so fucking much.”
“What?”
You turned towards him; ugly shirt forgotten. Out of all the things you’d expected him to say to you – hell, you wouldn’t even have been surprised if he’d just left without saying another word, seeing as you had basically made fun of him for cutting the chocolate weirdly – this wasn’t one of them. You didn’t even know what he meant.
Bakugou’s brows were furrowed, his jaw clenched.
“It doesn’t matter.”, he said. “When you made the brownies, or whatever. It ain’t any of their business. You baked and they get to eat them, ‘s all they gotta know.”
You were dumbfounded. Staring at him, you searched for a reply, anything to respond, but he beat you to it.
“Bein’ a hero too, and everything. I see you,” he ran a hand through his hair. “Hesitating. Overthinking. You’re not weak, so what the fuck are you doing?”
You found it impossible to break the eye contact, his red eyes filled with anger and something else you couldn’t quite decipher. I see you.
He continued. “I’ve seen what you can do. Last week you fucking kicked four villains’ asses alone because they were an immediate danger to surrounding citizens. You acted fast because you knew waiting for backup from pros would have been too late and you immobilized those damn fuckers with a move that could’ve hurt the civilians if you were some extra without proper control over your quirk. But you aren’t. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. You have a strong quirk and unlike some other extras here,” his eyes narrowed at that, “you actually know how to use it. So do it. To win.”
To say you were shocked silent was putting it lightly. For a few moments after he was done talking, all you could hear was the blood rushing in your ears and you hoped your cheeks weren’t as red as they felt. At your expression, he seemed to realize the impact of his words at least a little bit.
“Ah, shit- I didn’t mean-“ He slapped one hand over his mouth. You think you heard a muffled “fucking idiot”, and he squeezed his eyes shut for a moment.
In the meantime, you had somehow managed to regain a little bit of your composure to finally respond to him, albeit you were still stuttering a bit.
“Uhh, you-” Suddenly it was very hard to look him in the eyes. “I never knew you paid so much attention to me.”
That sent him over the edge. “What?!” Stumbling backwards, his expression contorted with some of his usual anger, but you could sense there was something more behind it. Embarrassment, maybe? You didn’t miss the way his eyes were darting around the room nervously, now anywhere but on you or how his cheeks seemed to just slightly redden in color, but you might have been imagining it, of course.
Suddenly curious, you stepped forward. Untouchable, closed-off, self-centered Bakugou had just given you an extremely personal (and accurate) pep talk. He had read you like an open book, and although you’d known he was intelligent, somehow this hadn’t felt all that analytical and more…emotional.
Taking another step towards him and trying to fight the smile from coming onto your face, you whispered, “You’re being loud again, Bakugou.” After a pause, you got serious, “But, thanks, I guess. Hearing something like that coming from you means a lot to me.”
At that, he regained his composure, narrowing his eyes. “Just stating the obvious. The only thing holding you back is yourself, it’s stupid.”
Wow, so much for some comforting words. You let out a breath of amusement, shaking your head, gaze travelling to the clock by the door.
“Oh wow, it’s already two.”
At your words, Bakugou’s head also lifted towards the clock. “How long do these things take to bake, anyways?”
“Like, 20 minutes, I think. I better finish cleaning up, wouldn’t want to have to stay up much longer.” As you grabbed the dishes you had used, you realized something. “Hey, I’m not keeping you up, am I? I didn’t mean to make you stay here just because I started talking to you or anything.”
“You’re not doing shit.” Before you realized what he was doing, he grabbed two bowls from your hands and put them in the dishwasher.
“Wha-”
“I told you you’re gonna be fucking tired tomorrow, so don’t complain.” He was facing away from you now, fishing the knife out from the dink and finishing cleaning it off.
You just stood there with your hands still in front of you from when he had taken the bowls, mouth opened in a slight gasp.
When he noticed your silence, he turned around. “Stop standing around like some idiot, you wanna stay here until everyone else wakes up, or what?”
That woke you up from your stupor. He was right, you had already lost enough sleep time as it was, although even as you wiped the counters and took a look at the brownies in the oven, you were still wondering what was motivating Bakugou to stay up and even help you clean the kitchen. Especially knowing how particular he was about his own sleep schedule.
When you were finished, you took a look around the kitchen, checking for anything you might have missed. Satisfied when you couldn’t find anything, you turned to Bakugou, who was putting away his glass of water.
“Thanks,” you said, fiddling with your fingers. Him putting away the glass probably meant he would be going back to bed now, but you weren’t sure what to say. ‘Sleep well’? Internally, you laughed at yourself, picturing him counting fluffy little sheep.
“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.” He started walking towards the door, pausing once in the doorway. “Don’t stay up too long, [name].” And with that, he was gone.
For seemingly the twentieth time this night, you were stunned silent. He had called you by your name. He hadn’t said ‘idiot’, ‘nerd’, or anything like that. He had said ‘[name]’.
His words replayed in your mind over and over, until you remembered that the brownies were probably almost done now. You had to force yourself to move from your position, holding your hands to your cheeks in a futile attempt to cool down the blush that had formed on your face.
The next couple of minutes passed by in a haze, and before you knew it, you were lying in your bed again, having put the finished brownies in a box in the kitchen, hoping they wouldn’t be noticed by everyone immediately.
“What just happened?”
You found yourself staring at the ceiling again, still hearing his voice at the back of your mind. It seemed your plan to bake some brownies and then to hopefully have an easier time falling asleep was not working out the way you had envisioned.
“Ugh, freaking Bakugou,” you groaned, dragging your hands over your face. You remained like that for some time longer, before turning to lay on your side. You took a deep breath, attempting to calm your raging heartbeat, and closed your eyes.
Sleep finally embraced you, and you slept without interruptions for the rest of the night.
BONUS:
The next day, the class was gathered at Ground Beta and preparing for the already announced group exercise by drawing lots. You were one of the only ones left who hadn’t been assigned a team yet. As your name was called, you walked to the box with the lots in it and pulled a slip of paper out.
“You’re in team C, which makes that team complete.”, Mr. Aizawa said, although you weren’t really listening, frozen in place because if you remembered correctly, team C was-
“[name].”
Your head snapped to the owner of the voice, who was none other than Bakugou. Because of course.
“[name]. You gonna stand there all day? Get over here.”
He was using your name again and you found that it made operating like a normal person quite difficult. Your body moving in the direction of your team felt almost robotic; as you tried to avoid his gaze, you nearly stumbled over your own two feet. That woke you up from your stupor, and you mentally slapped yourself for acting like such an idiot.
“I fucking knew it. Because you didn’t sleep, you’re tripping over nothing like some dumbass,” he rolled his eyes. “I fucking told ya not to stay up so long, should’ve listened to me.”
Now you were blushing furiously and you were pretty sure your heartbeat could be heard all the way back in the classrooms, but before you could think of something to say to him, Kirishima, who was another one of your teammates, cut in.
“What? Dude, hold on! You were with [name] last night?” The redhead looked at his friend incredulously.
You were pretty sure you saw a vein popping on Bakugou’s temple as he yelled, “Ain’t none of your business, shitty hair, nobody asked for your opinion!”
Your mouth fell open. What a way to make this sound absolutely not weird.
“Alright, alright,” Kirishima laughed, holding his hands up in mock defence and shooting you a not-so-sly wink over his shoulder. “I won’t ask, man. I won’t ask.”
Oh god.
While Bakugou yelled some more about how that was not what he meant with some tiny explosions coming out of his palm, you pinched the bridge of your nose, already wondering how you got yourself in this ridiculous situation.
#I literally forgot like an entire paragraph I’m such an idiot haha#like i kept looking and thinking ‘this isn’t how I remember it ending’ lol#I also hope the formatting didn't get messed up#how does formatting here even work#I am so lost on this website#and nervous lol#uhh anyways#bnha x reader#mha x reader#bakugou katuski x reader#katsuki bakugou x reader#bakugou katsuki#katsuki bakugou#bakugou katsuki fluff#I also don’t know what possessed me to write the words ‘frivolous escapee’ but here we are#SIX MONTHS later and I notice that there was an entire paragraph like 3 times in a row this is so embarrassing -_-
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please more dipcifica i am on my hands and knees 🙏
SIR YES SIR also feel free to give me any dipcifica requests (twirling my hair giggling)
when I got this ask I was like:
#ask#gravity falls#dipper pines#pacifica northwest#dipcifica#/also I may or may not have bought lost legends because of dipcifica in it...#/when I was at a bookstore and saw LL I dropped everything fr I was like HELL YEAH BROTHER#/Also dipcifica mentioned on it is not a website HOLY SHIIITTT#/She has his phone number < 3 I am so normal guys.#/Also I loooove Pacifica she's an excuse for me to draw fun girly outfits.#/Chat did she eat in this one?
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I will never be over the fact that tbhk really takes place in 2015
We know that AidaIro published the first chapter in December 2014
The Yugi Twins were in the 66th Festival in 1968 and the curent present have the 113th Festival.
On this panel, it's written that the 1st of September was a Tuesday. The closest years to the manga airing having this date being either 2009 or 2015.
Bonus:
Which means: the 1st year (Aoi, Akane, Nene) were born in 1999, Teru in 1998 and Kou and Mitsuba in 2000.
#toilet bound hanako kun#tbhk#jshk#jibaku shounen hanako kun#that's a mini stuff but my timeline heart lover is happy#I fcking hate tbhk bc their timeline is a mess#makes no sense and It makes me wanna cry#Teru and Akane's meeting make no sense (probably just errors during the creation of the panels#so it's fair) but it stresses me out sm#yashiro nene#aoi akane#akane aoi#they are born the same year as me I am in tears help#they are ten times younger than me in my head#we knew it was probably either 2014 or 2015 but lil hints are always fun#since I had a big lost of interest in the festival arc (and I don't like the Yugi twins backstory) I didn't connect the dots help#I did with the date :'))#2015 really explain Teru's horrible fashion sense#but in the end the manga has tons of anachronisms but it's normal the date is not that important#it's just funny#the last image is badly edited and translated bc it's in french at first idk why I couldn't find an english website with this
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chrome was like "aw.... ublock origin doesnt work anymore.... aint that so sad..."
im stubborn but i saw the utterly unusable vanilla internet for all of 1 minute before i moved all my bookmarks to firefox and resumed there. go fuck yourself ♥
#jennilargh#im so fucking mad theyre really going down this road haha i am not looking forward to learning new things suddenly#like i noticed i cant chromecast for obvious reasons and to get that working seems to be a whole process i dont understand yet#but liike haha im not gonna watch 2 ads every 3 minutes on youtube hahahahahahaha no <3#love my content creators but youtube is just gonna have to deal bc the way their ads run now is COMPLETELY over the line#my mind cannot be changed. 2 ads every 3 minutes on a 40 min long video on top of sponsored segments..#loud ass ads interrupting calming sleepytime videos... cant watch passively bc you have to be READY to hit the skip buttons..#dont even get me started if u just want to have a video on in the background while you are not physically able to hit skip#lord help you if you get an ad thats several minutes long and your hands are covered in dough or something#or even if youre just enjoying a more information-heavy video and an ad interrupts mid sentence and youre like “wait im lost now”#thats not even touching the malicious ads from every other website on this hell of an internet#we live in the stupid timeline
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AO3 link!
So!! I finally created an AO3 profile, here's the link!
🌱(Pine's AO3)🌱
Also, be aware I have absolutely NO CLUE about how thing works there, as I was on Tumblr for a really long time I felt ultra comfortable about sharing my fics here, but God I felt so dumb publishing on AO3 considering the amount of info I had to specify when creating a post (I think I might be a boomer inside?? God I'm getting old.)
Also I'm probably going to stalk my dear moots on there, don't be surprised if I start leaving kudos on every single one of your works eheh
Anyways I will slowly publish every work from here into this AO3 page. Also if anyone has some tips or advice for my dumb self about how the site works I'm more than happy to hear about it!
Have a great day people, take care <3
#like wtf are collections#i think it might be conveniant for my One shots though but I'm so lost lmao#am i that dumb#why did i felt overwhelmed by a website lmaoo#I will just have to figure it all out when I'll have the time to#I'm sorry if I'm not ultra active there yet#tumblr still feels way better to me for now#ao3#pinefic
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The Dilemma
New inspiration for my time travel Inklings idea! Stepping away from the story worked!
Just found two new books written in exactly the time period and place I'm now drawing from.
These could just make it possible to get just enough historical detail that I could pull off setting this in the real world.
But I'm already running out of writing time and won't have time to read books and write something that satisfies my worries about historical accuracy before the deadline.
Plus real-world details could interfere with the story.
Even though the themes make more sense in the real world, going with a "real world with the names filed off" fantasy world seems to be the only real option here.
Plus it would be fun to throw in even a few fantasy worldbuilding bits.
I'm still downloading those books though.
#adventures in writing#also looking through the persephone books website feels like browsing through wright and co.#nice little website full of books i'd probably like with titles i've never heard before#also why on one of my main writing days am i sick and tired and lose all motivation and have a minor spiritual crisis?#i'm getting better but i've lost so much time#i'm losing out on most of the last week of inklings writing time so if i don't finish soon it's likely not gonna happen
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sorry for poisoning your eyes one more time, but like … they gave us chris spanking gerrit dressed in a borat costume (with what, gerrit‘s own drum stick?), while looking like a fucking turtle during an orgasm. so if i had to see this, you all have to see it too.
#lord of the lost#lotl#gerrit heinemann#gared dirge#chris harms#tw flashing#flashing lights#i just laughed out so hard really couldn‘t keep this from you#chris is that your sex face? because i am concerned …#imagine if this DOES show up on the feed now#(no way it DID pop up on the dashboard lol)#(then tumblr really flagged the other post for specific reasons ig :D)#(gerrit‘s ass is just too powerful for this website)
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It's a travesty that I can't reblog gifsets of books.
#this post is about#the invisible life of addie larue#I am lost in this book#and when I was lost in The Acolyte#there were gifs and photosets and actor interviews#but no such luck for the books I love#well#except for the folk of the air series#there are some real gems in the fota tags#but most of the fanart for this book is so focused on the wrong part?#Which to be fair was also a problem with The Acolyte#like I understand this is the 'inhuman villain x human hero' website#so i don't know what else I expected anybody to take away from this book#certainly not the moral and emotional complexity of the characters or the situations they're put in#or the way it follows through on the implications of its premise#or the philosophical questions it begs you to ask#or the existential pit it draws you to look into#or the sheer bloody-minded downright spiteful amount of hope it provides#it's almost a parable#the girl that smiled into the darkness and the darkness that smiled back#the woman who is so stubbornly determined to live that death itself can't help but love her even as she hates it#the woman who valued her life so much she gave up everything to keep it#and the man who loved her so well that she gave it up all over again to save him#to have complete freedom with no one to share#the heaven and the hell of it#God#this book has ruined me#i can't remember the last time I felt so haunted by a story#I added some of the author's other works to my library app#but tbh
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Me, throughout this entire process of trying to either reunite the owner with this cat or adopt it myself:
#wait 10 days oh no there was a problem!#now wait 10 more days oh no a medical emergency#but still wait 10 days#okay now call chip company but we won't tell you which one it is#heres how you can find it#okay you found it now call but the call options are only for lost and found pets or account issues#okay so go the website but oopsie you can't make an account without the chip number#oh no that belongs to someone else so call or email please#okay you finally got to talk to a representative and they just say to do the pet transfer form 😄 online#which you didn't do at first because it talked about needing notes of transfer from the old owner to the new one#and you don't have that because no one can get a hold of them#but jk those notes we mentioned on the website are actually not needed when you go to fill out the form teehee 🤭#aren't we a silly goody fun company 🤭#i am going to scream
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youtube
reposting bc it didnt show up in the tags and i insist on spreading the carrriagepilled propaganda thru an amv that i spent a month on. dl linkz in the comments
#hikakao#kaoru hitachiin#hikaru hitachiin#amv#ouran high school host club#otter made this dumb video#music#anime#local natives#when am i gonna lose you#please feel encouraged to download and even spread around just dont reupload to YT since its already there. if youd like to include it#on your personal website you may. credit is appreciated but not necessary as long as you dont edit out the credits card at the end.#im tired of amvs becoming lost media so the download option is there for you to use at your leisure!#theres a disclaimer in the yt description as well as on amv.org but tldr this is not anti-haruhi or anything like that.#i wanted to focus on kaorus anxieties with hikaru; their limited time in the club; and the host club as a whole. not a supposed jealousy.#carriageposting
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today my nephew asked me what an mp3 reader is I finally understand my elders
#stuff like this happens all the time#every time we talk i realise that we're growing up in two completely different times#also he moves through apps#every time i mention something a website or some other thing you can find online#he asks what app is that#and I'm like baby no#the world is not made of apps#apps in the way they exist today are younger than you#or all the streaming platforms#i looked for a (definitly legal) movie in front of him the other day and i played it to check the quality#because him and his mom wanted to watch it and couldn't find it#and all he said was On what platform did you find it#i was like I'm gonna tell you a story#✨the story of internet in the early 2000✨#listen we grew up with internet meaning that the internet has grown with us which means that we know it#we know how to be safe on it we know what to do and what not to do we understand when something is real and when something is not#the problem with all these new generations is that yes they know how to use a phone since year one but in reality they have no idea about#the internet they have no idea about what they hold in their hands they have no idea about what they can do with it#what the hell they don't even know how to access the internet#they don't know websites they don't know every app is actually a website#the same nephew once turned on a computer and was so lost and disappointed he asked me#is there YouTube on this thing?#my child! you have the world at your hands and you're asking me if there is youtube in it#and yes of course he's a child he need to be thought stuff abd you're right#but also not if it makes sense#at least in my experience i was left completely alone on the internet and yes i was probably watched at a distance from my older siblings#but i was given the space and time to explore it at some point i had my very own computer i was on socials at a very young age#most of the people my own age where#and we were way more responsible with it#idk where am i going with this i don't really have a point
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thing is I can be influenced easily. so when I see a bunch of criticism of something I like it'll make me lose interest in it. which particularly sucks when it was a hyper fixation because now what do I do, I feel lost
#I'm not doing well right now#and not having a hyperfixation isn't helping#personal#my post#no one cares about my stuff but here i am sharing anyway#because this time i lost my hyperfixation because of posts i saw on this damn website#so it's mutuals' fault#and you're allowed to not like things and criticise things#i just can't see it#and nothing is tagged
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does anyone know any epic (gender nuetral) k names. bc i miss having the letter k in my name and so i was going to make one of my middle names start with (or at least have) k but i can't think of any so it just a plain k and my name basically looks like this now:
[rock] K. [plant] [not just a noun but it has "rain" as part of it]
#at one point thought about doing a japanese name/word bc i'm learning japanese and really enjoy it but it's just feel too wierd bc im.#not japanese.#tried looking at icelandic k names/words once but i'm not really familiar w/ icelandic so was just skimming through but none really stuck :#thought of making it “kweldii” after the language i was creating#but seeing as how it all got wiped with my ipad and i haven't been able to recover from that#it'd be wierd bc a) it was never finished so naming myself after a nonexistent language would be strange#and b) it'd make me sad :( bc then hearing/seeing that name would remind me of what i lost#also yes i want two middle names#also yes i am changing my last name.#i actually wanted to change all my names even before i started questioning my gender (mainly bc of bad religious + family ties)#the gender funky was just added to it#but no you don't get to hear them.#only like. 2-3 people on this website do.#<-and two of those i am related to. from real life.#unityrain.txt#trans#name change#queer#they/she#<- thass me baby
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suffering
#god#the first part of today wasn't so bad#got v lost multiple times and was horribly sweaty but it mostly seemed like. manageable#but the online speech class...#i am dropping that thang#i was wanting to switch to all online classes but was swiftly reminded how much the website sucks#also realized that i may not actually need to take this new student course#there are no advisor appointments available until next week and the last day to add/drop classes is this week#also hardly any classes have slots left#or are online only or the professors have terrible reviews#am full of dread and feeling v hopeless#idk what i will do if i can't get myself through college
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"just google it" "do your own homework" "google is free" "find it yourself the information is out there"
but they are. they are asking people who have that information, for the information. they are doing their homework by reaching out and asking people questions. just because it's not typed on a search bar, doesn't mean it's any less of putting an effort to finding things out.
like i'm sorry people in the past refused/ridiculed you when you asked them for help. doesn't mean you have to be like them tho. why is learning through human interaction rejected in favour of isolated learning?
#my posts#rants#im part of the organising team for the women's march in my city#and someone interested to join the march was asking public transport directions to the march#the immediately response from the social media team in our group chat was to berate that person for being lazy/not doing their homework#like sure the transit map is available on the website#but anyone who takes public transport in my city KNOWS that the trains and maps are unreliable in so many ways#i was exploring a different line yesterday and got on the wrong train despite being on the correct platform#and i take public transport regularly and have a good sense of direction but the public transport here isnt designed to be user friendly#if they had to ask which line they should interchange at you KNOW they are clueless and probably terrified of the public transportation her#and yet as organisers they refuse to make it easier for people to participate at a march no one owes us to attend#they just gave them a link and asked them to figure it out themselves#i am very familiar with that route and i just KNOW the interchange is confusing and large enough that beginner commuters will get lost#and you know what could happen if someone struggles to navigate public transport? they probably would just go home instead#they blame the education system for producing youngsters who are spoon fed#girl the older generation said the exact same thing about your generation pls#your misdirected anger is being projected at the victim of this system instead of at the actual problem#which is what i've been observing from career activists around me and more#you claim to fight for the people#but the very people you're fighting for are asking you for help#yet you refuse to help them unless it's through significant policies or drastic systemic changes#your fight is conditional and only convenient for you but you refuse to admit it and then pretend the opposite#the moment they decided that they would 'teach them a lesson' indirectly by forcing them to figure out their own routes#they've already fallen into that activist trap of thinking they are above everyone else and that they are here to teach people how to#be a better person according to their standards because they know better by being more involved in activism and are better educated#instead of putting themselves in the girl's shoes and not assuming the worst of people as the default#maybe that girl is new in town and is unfamiliar with public transport here#maybe they had a bad experience getting lost before and wanted someone experienced to share some commuting tips to avoid getting lost#maybe she would rather pull her teeth out than try to figure out the route with unreliable mountains of information online#maybe she has executive dysfunction that makes filtering through tons of information to find that ONE route very daunting
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there truly is no greater struggle, no more profound hardship, than me trying to use ao3
#every person on the planet has figured this website out except for me#i don't know why the paragraph spaces are sometimes larger and sometimes smaller#i try to add a bookmark. it disappears into the void.#i am still unclear on the difference between bookmarks/subscriptions/user subscriptions so i just click whatever i see first#i am the slowest reader imaginable struggling to make it through my eight bookmarks while also navigating ✨tags✨#i don't know where to put the commentary on the bookmarks so it shows up where i want it and at this point i'm too afraid to ask#i spend more time on the faq page than i do posting OR reading#i don't know how people are using italics in the comments section#i know this sounds like i'm complaining but i swear i am having fun i don't mind being lost af#all of this is /pos#(affectionate) if you will#liza blather#liza writes#i'm chatty today i'm sorry it's the adrenaline crash from last week
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