#every time i mention something a website or some other thing you can find online

[thetriangletattoo]

today my nephew asked me what an mp3 reader is I finally understand my elders

[clover-system]

The longest list of anti-endo sources I've ever seen

While trying to find something else using Tumblr's infamous search engine, I came across this absolute gem:

NINE SOURCES!!! That's a record!! This is incredible!

@radpocalypse, listen. I am about to tear these to shreds, but before I do, I want you to know that you have my respect for not only compiling the longest list of sources I have ever seen an anti-endo provide, and not only doing so seemingly not directly prompted, but typing out every single link by hand, on mobile, without making a single mistake. Incredible work.

And also, to be completely honest, if I had nine sources supporting a belief, I almost certainly wouldn't look into them this closely. But, hey, that's what strangers on the internet with opposing views are for.

One more thing before the debunk: Endogenic systems do not claim to have DID etc. without trauma. They just don't. Whether it could be possible is often debated as an edge case, usually just to win an argument against someone of the opposing side, but really, it's irrelevant for 99% of the community. A good chunk are questioning OSDD based on later trauma, but as far as I am aware, no one on this website is claiming a completely endogenic plural disorder.

However, I don't want to dismiss entire pages based on this alone without further commentary, and it's a fun intellectual exercise regardless. So, whenever I use green text, I'm just playing Devil's Advocate under the premise of "If I was claiming to have DID without trauma (which neither I nor anyone else afaik is), would this source actually debunk that claim?" My syster will also occasionally pop in with purple, since she was cocon while I was writing this.

My dad just walked into my room and literally said "hey how it's going". You know, like. Like that one post. Amazing.

Anyway, civility established. Now come along with me on this long long journey of ten minutes of reading. Maybe put some music on in the background, if that will help you get through it. I had Near's Theme on while writing.

Here we go.

Link 1: McLean Hospital

Ok, main thing that caught my eye was

According to a 2010 Psychiatric Times article, only 5% of people with DID exhibit obvious switching between identity “states.”

Very interesting! Even with all of the "idk who's fronting" memes, 5% is really not that high. Though maybe online spaces like these help train the ability to identify it? The reference trail leads back to a book by Kluft but I don't really feel like going through dozens of pages for this. Definitely making a note of this though; I wonder if there have been any follow-up studies on this.

Not much to say here other than that. No mention of plurality outside DID.

DID is associated with long-term exposure to trauma, often chronic traumatic experiences during early childhood.

Dissociation—or disconnection from one’s sense of self or environment—can be a response to trauma.

Dissociative identity disorder—a type of dissociative disorder—most often develops during early childhood in kids who are experiencing long-term trauma. This typically involves emotional, physical, and/or sexual abuse; neglect; and highly unpredictable interactions with caregivers.

Why "associated", not "is caused by"? Why "can", not "is"? Why "most often", etc.?

Why such weak language?

Not that it couldn't be weaker.

I vaguely remember McLean getting into some hot water regarding a video they posted about DID, but didn't find anything concrete. Half-remembered anecdote aside, the author seems well-qualified.

C-tier debunk of this position. It's not nothing but it could be a lot better.

Link 2: Psych Central

It occurs in women 9 times more often than in men.

Very interesting statistic, but no citation provided.

Alters can show striking differences. For instance, one alter may speak with a different accent or have a softer way of speaking. They might have different opinions or a different gender identity, and even physical differences — like left- or right-handedness, or the need for a glasses prescription.

That's quite a stark difference here compared to the McLean article. What happened to "alters aren't that noticeable"?

But whatever, these are just interesting tidbits. None of this has anything to do with endogenic plurality. Nothing like "this is the only way to be multiple", no comment whatsoever.

DID is usually associated with adverse experiences in someone’s past and traumatic memories.

Dissociative identity disorder (DID) is a mental health condition with strong links to trauma, especially trauma in childhood.

Bruh. This again?

In fact, the American Psychiatric Association reports that 90% of people with DID have a history of childhood abuse and neglect, based on research from the United States, Canada, and Europe.

Bruh. Seriously? 90%? You know what that leaves, right?

According to your own source, 10% of DID systems are endogenic.

But let's break this down. There's a big difference between the system being endogenic, and the DID being endogenic. This statistic is specifically referring to childhood trauma.

The wording's plenty vague though. This can absolutely be read as completely endogenic DID.

One review article from 2017 about the causes of DID noted that there was relatively little research on the condition to date.

The authors said researchers hadn’t yet investigated potential genetic and epigenetic factors. With epigenetic factors, the experiences and behaviors of your parents and ancestors can influence the function of the genes they pass down to you.

The authors of the review said scientists needed to do more research to investigate whether a person with DID might carry genes that can influence if they develop the condition or not.

This is particularly promising because studies have already shown that genes can influence dissociative disorders in general.

So you're telling me DID might be able to be passed down one or two generations? Wow. Again, this still has nothing to do with endogenic plurality, but I'm really glad I decided to play with this second angle, because it's so much more fun. We're certainly not at intentional self-inflicted DID here, but we are at this point a long way from certainly needing childhood trauma in all cases.

And also the reviewer is a military psychiatrist who specializes in ADHD. So uh. Not bringing our best here.

Link 3: Mayo Clinic

Gotta love an article that's nice and short. This is just a brief summary of a bunch of dissociative disorders. Again, nothing about endogenic plurality.

Starting to run out of things to say about this. This whole post could probably be a fifth the length if I didn't feel like playing on hard mode.

Formerly known as multiple personality disorder, this disorder involves "switching" to other identities. You may feel as if you have two or more people talking or living inside your head. You may feel like you're possessed by other identities.

Each identity may have a unique name, personal history and features. These identities sometimes include differences in voice, gender, mannerisms and even such physical qualities as the need for eyeglasses.

Hey, that reminds me of someone.

There also are differences in how familiar each identity is with the others. Dissociative identity disorder usually also includes bouts of amnesia and often includes times of confused wandering.

Again, McLean looking really odd with its declaration of DID's covertness against great detail like this. However, its author is so far the best qualified. This one just says "Mayo Clinic Staff". Can't even know which of them worked on this. Some of them are psychs, but if any of them specialize in dissociative disorders, it doesn't say so.

Dissociative disorders usually arise as a reaction to shocking, distressing or painful events and help push away difficult memories.

I won't bother quoting even more wishy-washy language because this post is already at an ungodly length (about 1300 words so far) and we're barely a third done. But yeah, suffice to say, no nail-in-the-coffin 100% link to trauma.

Link 4: Rethink

We are a trusted information creator and accredited by the Patient Information Forum (PIF).

Their bold, for once. That's an alarm-ringing corporate phrase if I've ever seen one. Also, first thing on the PIF's website is "balancing the risks and benefits of AI in the production of health information". So this article might've been written by GPT. Awesome. And yeah, a lot of this whole website looks to me like a bunch of interconnected pages with stupidly long articles written by stitching together LLM generations. Does pass GPT0's test though.

This one is so long. I'll take the ten minutes to read through every word, which I don't think @radpocalypse did, just to make sure there's nothing here, but one thing that does catch my eye scrolling down to near the bottom is that they misspelled their first citation.

A quick look at this Carolyn Spring shows a lot being sold and credentials nowhere in sight. Awesome.

So already I don't need to read this. The information here is not at a high level of trustworthiness. It's maybe better than nothing, but seriously, one can and should do better. But I'll read it anyway, just for bonus points. Thanks to AccelaReader for making this bearable.

Many people will experience dissociation at some point in their lives. Lots of different things can cause you to dissociate. For example, you might dissociate when you are very stressed, or after something traumatic has happened to you.

Some of the symptoms of dissociation include the following:

You may have clear multiple identities.

It‘s important to remember that you could have the symptoms of dissociation without a dissociative disorder.

So according to this, multiple identities can be caused by intense but non-traumatic stress, and might not necessarily be a disorder. So, while I admit this is a little bit of a stretch, we're four links in and this is the first mention of plurality in general, so I'll take it. One point for endogenic plurality. (And again, none of this really matters anyway because this is the worst source so far.)

Dissociative identity disorder (DID) is sometimes called ‘Multiple Personality Disorder.

If you have DID you might seem to have 2 or more different identities, called ‘alternate identities.

Two missing closing quotes. Really not a good sign.

They suggest that DID is caused by experiencing severe trauma over a long time in childhood.

Aha! Finally, something concrete against endogenic DID! Too bad it's buried in the worst source yet. If we believed we had DID, we would absolutely not reconsider that based on a sketchy webpage with suboptimal syntax and no credentials.

Ugh, finally done with that one. What a slog.

Link 5: DID Research

Aha! The infamous psych student's blog! That's what Sophie said, anyway. Not taking her word for it though. Let's see what we can find here, independently.

Dissociative identity disorder (DID) is the result of repeated or long-term childhood trauma

Why wasn't this first? First sentence, so crystal clear. No two ways about this, transDID destroyed right out of the gate.

DID cannot form after ages 6-9 because individuals older than these ages have an integrated self identity and history.

Why wasn't this first? It's so plain, so refreshing after four pages of strategic ambiguity. Nothing left here for green. But still no mention of non-disordered plurality.

The author is impressively credentialed but doesn't seem to specialize quite near this area. She's certainly better than most, high above any random Tumblr user talking out of their ass, but the good stuff would be to get a DID specialist to explicitly spell out that endogenic systems are not possible.

Also should make note of this big fat legal disclaimer:

While the author strives to make information on this website as complete, reliable, and accurate as possible, the author makes no claims, promises, guarantees, or warranties about the accuracy, completeness, or adequacy of the contents of this site and expressly disclaims liability for errors and omissions in the contents of this site.

If we did claim to have DID, this would rattle us a little but could ultimately be brushed aside.

Link 6: SANE

As usual, literally nothing about endogenic plurality. I'll just greenmode this.

The majority of people with DID have been through severe trauma in early childhood

And now back to our regularly scheduled nondefinitive language.

Fun fact: highlighting text on this website turns it invisible. Awesome.

A person needs to meet the following criteria to be diagnosed with DID:

- Two or more distinct identities or personality states, each with its own way of thinking and relating. - Amnesia and gaps in the recall of everyday events, personal information or traumatic events. - The experiences are not part of normal cultural or religious practice, or part of childhood imaginary play. For example, a child having an imaginary friend does not mean they have DID. - The symptoms are not because of substance abuse or other medical conditions.

Ah finally, a direct quote from the good ol' DSM. Notice the lack of a trauma requirement.

Funny enough, using only these criteria in isolation, we actually would count as having DID due to our grayout memory gaps when switching. DID is also listed in the dissociative disorders section of the DSM, not the trauma disorders section, so there is no implied criterion there either. However, there still remains the universal criterion of distress, which we do not fulfill. We are quite happy with ourselves.

DID is caused by severe childhood trauma, such as physical, verbal or sexual abuse.

Well, which is it?? Is it a majority association or a direct cause? Why the contradiction? Or is the emphasis on early childhood trauma?

Eh, whatever. Point is, green is once again shut down. But there is still no mention of endogenic plurality anywhere here!!

And no indication of who wrote this article, though the citation for direct cause is a dissociative disorder specialist. Does he actually say that in the cited paper, though?

Dissociative identity disorder (DID) is multifactorial in its etiology. Whereas psychosocial etiologies of DID include developmental traumatization and sociocognitive sequelae, biological factors include trauma-generated neurobiological responses. Biologically derived traits and epigenetic mechanisms are also likely to be at play. At this point, no direct examination of genetics has occurred in DID. However, it is likely to exist, given the genetic link to dissociation in general and in relation to childhood adversity in particular.

I hope you have a dictionary on hand. That sure is a lot of big words that aren't in Firefox's built-in spellchecker. Still, after making sure I got everything, it's clearly not so cut and dry here. And we're back on the "it could be genetic" point.

Tangentially related: I do like the dismissal of the iatrogenic model on the basis of the brain scans.

Neurobiological differences have been demonstrated between dissociative identities within patients with DID and between patients with DID and controls. Given the current evidence, DID as a diagnostic entity cannot be explained as a phenomenon created by iatrogenic influences, suggestibility, malingering, or social role-taking. On the contrary, DID is an empirically robust chronic psychiatric disorder based on neurobiological, cognitive, and interpersonal non-integration as a response to unbearable stress.

Anyway, we're not even on the original page anymore, so I'll call it here. No mention of endogenic plurality, and the citation that claims to dismiss endogenic DID doesn't.

Link 7: NAMI Michigan

While the causes [of DID] are unknown

I'm tired. Aren't you tired?

Treatment for DID consists primarily of psychotherapy with hypnosis.

Yeah I'm calling BS on this one

And no citations on this entire page, nor even the author's name.

Statistics show that DID occurs in 0.01 to 1 percent of the general population.

Research has shown that the average age for the initial development of alters is 5.9 years old.

No sources listed. This is definitely the worst link. Literally on the same level as a rambling Tumblr user in terms of credibility.

Doesn't matter that it says

This disorder is believed to be triggered by physical or sexual abuse in childhood

Couldn't even get this dogshit source to be firm.

This one gets an F.

Link 8: The Psychology Practice

Got scared for a moment there that it said ai. No, that's AL, a name. Also this was written in 2022, so we're definitely safe. Can't actually find any other info on this AL character, but at least we can look up the co-author.

Hm, can't find anything on her, either. Well, at least this is a step up from the previous link. Let's see what it has to say.

According to the Dissociative Identity Research Organisation (2018), DID is formed in childhood due to repeated trauma in early childhood (before age 10) before the personality is fully integrated.

I do like that these later links are direct with this. They don't seem to have a citation for that DIRO, though. Unless...

No. Oh no.

Ok, so this one was written by a couple of clowns who definitely didn't do their homework. Cool. I'm getting tired of humoring awful sources like this, so moving on to the grand finale.

Link 9: NAMI

Wait, this is the same group behind the zero-citation article from Michigan! But that was just Michigan. Maybe the main site can do better.

Ugh, it's just another list of dissociative disorders instead of DID specifically.

The symptoms of a dissociative disorder usually first develop as a response to a traumatic event,

Aren't you tired? Aren't you tired? Aren't you tired?

Often these identities may have unique names, characteristics, mannerisms and voices.

Often? Wow. Sure is a far cry from 5%.

Dissociative disorders are managed through various therapies including: - Psychotherapies such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) - Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) - Medications such as antidepressants can treat symptoms of related conditions

No mention of hypnosis, allegedly the primary method of treatment?? (/sarc)

and there was no mention of plurality being exclusive to dissociative disorders

Oh, and no listed authors either.

So, after three thousand words of analysis, all we've come up with are nothing burgers, dogshit, and dogshit nothing burgers. Out of nine links, only one briefly and indirectly touched on endogenic plurality, and it was in favor. Even the argument against the traumaless DID strawman is weak at best. These sources are bad, to put it lightly.

@radpocalypse, if you're reading this, firstly, thank you for powering through your ADHD and dyslexia to read thousands of words dunking on your masterpiece. Secondly, if you have any more sources that you think are backing you, feel free to send them my way. Just uh, maybe read them more closely next time?

And that goes for everyone here. If you think you have a better source, or if I made a mistake or missed something here, I am open to correction. I am open to the idea that I'm wrong and I have some unknown trauma to work through, but I certainly won't go digging unless I have good reason to believe it's there, and I haven't seen any good reason. And if you haven't either, maybe it's time to reconsider your position.

One last thing before I go.

Have you ever actually seen a pro-endo carrd, let alone one cited in standalone? I haven't.

Here's a much longer list of much better sources than yours supporting endogenic plurality compiled by the traumagenic Guardians System. I don't expect you to read anywhere near the whole thing; just pick a few links at random. And yes, while many of them are peer-reviewed papers, some of them are Tumblr posts, but those Tumblr posts cite peer-reviewed papers, so it's all good.

Thanks for reading.

[burgeoning-ambition]

Finally a first language laddering post! In the near future I hope to start posting updates to my personal studying, maybe accompanied by study materials for others to use if I have the time! But first, I wanted to post an introduction.

Transcript of the images below the cut!

Language Laddering!

An Overview

I recently made a post asking about interest in me posting my personal Japanese -> Korean language laddering study journey and resources. And a lot of people seemed interested! Let's start off with an introduction to language laddering itself, since people may not have heard of it, or may not recognize this name for it! For my own personal stuff, I hope to post updates to my studies along with some resources as regularly as I can manage!

What is Language Laddering?

Language laddering, as I'm using the term, is a method of language study in which you use one target language (TL1) to learn a second target language (TL2). Basically, you cut your native language out of the equation and study in a target language!

How I Ladder

There are several methods you can use that I'd say count as language laddering, but I'm only going to go super in-depth into the methods I personally use!

If you study this way and have a specific method you love that I didn't mention, please mention it in a comment or reblog! I'd love to hear more methods.

Reading Japanese textbooks for Korean

Getting access to resources in Japanese is definitely harder because of international shipping, but I'm able to find store listings that offer sample pages! I've been using these until I can get the money to actually buy them.

In the meantime as I wait to get fully Japanese texts, I use the speaking pen from Learn Korean With BTS, haha- the speaking pen reads the book in four languages, and Japanese is one of them! So I just listen to it like an audiobook instead of reading the English!

Using apps and websites made by and for Japanese learners

While my Japanese dictionaries and apps are all in English, my Korean dictionaries and apps are all in Japanese!

I use an online Japanese-Korean dictionary on my phone, and when I practice grammar and other concepts in Korean, I use Japanese websites for Korean learners.

Recently, I've been using the site ハングルの森 to review basic grammar. I've been getting a pretty strong hold on Japanese grammar terms, too, which is exciting for more fully laddering!

Laddering languages in the way I choose to can be a very fun way to learn a new language and study one you've already been working on, but it doesn't work for everyone!

People who enjoy learning grammar and reading about how language works may enjoy it because they can learn grammar the way it's taught in their target language rather than how it's taught in their native language! This can be exciting, it's interesting to see how different languages teach concepts and learning grammar terms in a TL can open grammar-related doors! If you're a linguistics nerd like me, grammar-related doors are super exciting.

However, if you struggle a lot with understanding language instruction, and classroom language learning is really difficult for you, then it may only make things harder to try and use your TL's classroom language learning material for a new TL.

And that's okay! Not every learning method is for everyone. Learning through immersion may be easier and less frustrating if you struggle with classroom learning!

And guess what?

You can still ladder languages when doing immersion learning! Watching something in your new TL with subtitles for your stronger TL is one good way you can combine immersion learning with laddering!

I hope to post more about language laddering, although it will probably be pretty catered to my own personal study! People can feel free to send asks about anything specific they'd like to know! (Although I certainly am not an expert, so I can't answer everything)

Also, I know this post was SUPER text heavy, so thank you for making it to the end! I hope it wasn't too droning to read ^-^ Good luck with language laddering if you decide to try it!

[daftpatience]

Do you have any tips or advice for running an artists booth at a convention? I'm thinking about doing it eventually and been wanting to hear from people who have done it before :^)

yeah!!! lemme rattle off a few things off the top a my head also, pardon me 4 using amazon dot ca links for products that i mention. its just easy to find references that way (and often u can look up the brand and find their non-amazon store etc etc)

this got super long so im putting it under a cut!!

• join an artist alley group!! i'm in this artist alley discord and it is a fantastic place to get info about cons, table display ideas, manufacturer recommendations, etc. there are more than just this group out there and i think there are bigger ones but i personally really like this one ^u^ i make a ton of use of the display resources and manu recommendation channels!

• if you can afford it, be choosy about the events you apply to. there are a lot of cons out there that are fantastic, and a lot that aren't worth the trouble, and i don't necessarily mean small vs big cons. some of my fav events are smaller artist alleys local to me, and most of the artists i know avoid informa (fanexpo) like the plague. check out what other artists have to say about past events and keep an eye out for red flags: personally i find cons with really out of date/poorly advertised social medias and websites that have mismatched info are a warning sign of a mismanaged and not well attended event. • you don't need a lot of fancy display stuff to start, those sorts of things you can build up over time. im a fan of getting a ton of my display stuff from the dollar store >:)

when you're ready and need the space to display a good amount of art the main thing you wanna pick up is definitely something that gives your table some verticality, whether that's a pvc pipe style setup, pegboards, or modular cube shelving (we all used to use these big heavy grid ones until the plastic sheet covered ones came out and now we all use those. theyre cuter and lighter and fit better on a table and come in more colours yayay. im sure some people still like the grid ones since they fit gridwall accessories tho) there are lots of other ways to display stuff but these r what i am most familiar with. definitely helps to look at youtube and pinterest and discord groups for display ideas!!

another thing you will want to start is a tablecloth. not every con has their tables already covered! there are those plastic picnic ones at dollar stores, and you can thrift bedsheets/fabric too.

• depending on the type of display and art you do you'll need some way to attach signs/prints/charms/etc to your display. i just moved from blu-tack to magnets but i used to use sewing clips (back when i used the grid cubes) and before then masking tape. all of them are okay and cool! except blu-tack. don't make the same mistakes as me it adds like 40 whole minutes to teardown and it leaves gross oil on the prints after some time. evil

• if you don't have business cards you can make a sign with a qr code that links to you/your shop! there are lots of qr code makers online that u can even customize with images and colours and stuff. there will be people that wanna know how to find you again after a con!

• these days a lot of people don't bring cash to conventions and it's pretty vital to bring some sort of card reader or other digital payment method. most of us use square - they recently made it so that the phone app can accept tap! so you don't need to jump for the expensive physical readers. i've also got a paypal dot me qr code and my etransfer email (i think this is a canadian thing) on a lil sign on the table so people have lots of payment options. usually over 50% of my con income comes from non-cash sales!

• make sure to bring change!! we've forgotten in the past and done okay but it's always handy to be able to make change for people. you'll want a secure place to put cash as well, whether it's a locked moneybox that you keep out of sight or a place on your person (friend of mine uses a fanny pack!) you never wanna leave your table completely unattended but especially when it comes to the moneybox. if it's a multi day con this is an item you mustn't leave at your table overnight.

• keep count of your sales and expenses properly so that you can see how much you made at the end of the con. i really like spreadsheets but you can even just note it down in a book. here's a little example of one con for me:

• you'll want to make a checklist of stock and display stuff to bring, but don't forget to make a list of minor stuff like phone chargers and scissors and tape and glue and pens and paper. multiple types of tape and paper if possible. they don't feel super important until you're stuck because you forgot to make a price sign and have to get by with a sharpie and a napkin. don't let that be you!! dollar store sticky note pads are super useful for this type of thing.

• plan out your prices and do as much prep (counting, sign making, display planning, packing/sorting) as you can beforehand so that the event doesn't feel too stressful. make sure your merchandise is stored in an easily accessible way for you behind the table so you aren't scrambling or rummaging too much when people are asking for stuff!

• similarly, whatever you can leave out for people to just pick/grab themselves, the more of it you're likely to sell. things like stickers and charms are good for this - people like to touch stuff! and it makes it so you don't need to go fishing for items for people as frequently. generally i don't do this with more expensive items just to be safe.

• if you sell prints, people are gonna ask for sleeves to keep them safe, especially at outdoor events. sometimes people ask for sleeves/bags even if they dont buy anything. they're a good idea to have on hand and you can find em for pretty cheap online and for a bit more expensive at dollar stores (i use OPP bags. if you dont wanna use plastic you can always get paper bags/envelopes/glassine bags instead)

• a cushion for the chair is a good idea. lots of conventions have really uncomfy chairs. some folks even bring camping chairs instead!

• pack snacks/lunch/water/drinks/have lunch plans. if you have a table buddy that is able to run out for food that's always nice. you might be sitting but it uses a lot of energy to interface all day!! you'll be exhausted and hungry and it's gonna be important to get enough fuel for your brain to function properly. i genuinely would recommend juice/soda/coffee/energy dink alongside water and food if you wanna live, especially if its a multi day con. get good sleep on days between!

• if you're excited to do trades with other artists during the con, the general etiquette is to wait until later in the day/near the end when the crowds are winding down! it's always okay to ask if someone's doing trades, and don't be upset or press them if they aren't interested or have certain stuff they don't want to trade.

• speaking of con etiquette, depending on the type of vert you are (intro/extro) and or how much customer service experience you have, interfacing can be nervewracking. my general rule is that if they stop to look, i say Hello and let them browse. if they seem interested in my table i try and do some small talk. stuff like How are you/How's the event been for ya/compliments on their outfit/cosplay/merch they have on like pins etc are good! kids and old folks love this. as tiring as it is to do some of my favourite parts of cons is talking to nice people that like my art!! all the folks that say nice things about my work are what keep me drawing ;w; i keep my sketchbook with me to jot down/doodle nice and funny encounters just cus it makes me happy to look back on XD

• when it's teardown time try to put stuff away as neatly as you can. you might be tired and just wanna toss all your stuff into whatever it is you brought it in but i promise future you (especially next-con you) will be so thankful that you put all your price signs into one baggie etc etc.

• speaking of bringing and putting away merch - you'll need a way to get it all from your home/car to your table and back. lots of people use dollies and other types of utility cart (i can guarantee there are a bunch of those grandma grocery ones at your local thrift store!!) - i personally use a big luggage bag and a collapsible wagon, but back in the day we used to CARRY bin after bin of stuff from the car and back in multiple trips which i would NOT reccomend lol. not every convention hall is easily accessible or close to parking so not having to lift stuff if you can avoid it is gonna be vital.

[shrimpathizer]

this is just a theory (i haven't looked into this bit that much) but I feel like the reason that misinformation is so wildly rampant in online communities about ADHD (probably also autism) is in part because of how inaccessible actual professional information about it is.

Like, I remember before I got my diagnosis (what started off this whole thing a while back), I was looking at the CDC website description of symptoms of ADHD with my mom and. If you thought you were neurodivergent and were looking at this thing trying to see if you should get tested, its basically saying "screw you. you're either a child who is going to be here because of their parents, or an adult who is also here because of another neurotypical."

one of the criteria was literally "is often 'on the go' acting as if 'driven by a motor.'" that means absolutely nothing. you are using undefined expressions to explain something to someone who historically is not good at understanding unexplained social norms (such as expressions).

plus, its incredibly subjective. "on the go" could mean something wildly different for one person then the next. and "often" could mean "all the time every day" or "only at school" or even "every other week." not to mention the memory issues that at least a lot of the people who I know with ADHD struggle with.

someone who might have ADHD has no way of knowing if they "often have trouble organizing tasks and activities" or if that is a normal amount. there is no way for them to easily know if they "often do not seem to listen when spoken to directly."

so it seems obvious to me, that they would turn to other people with ADHD. and the easiest place to find them these days is online. thats how I started wondering if I should get diagnosed. they're probably trying to find some other way to understand or know. and since its social media and social media is rampant with misinformation, of course they are going to be fed misinformation.

people are going to tell them "you see this weird thing that you do? I do that too. and its actually because of this much larger thing. trust me." and people will. because there really isn't much of another place for them to turn. they are going to self-diagnose with every disorder under the sun to make themselves feel at home and feel like they aren't weird or wrong.

maybe i'm way off here but I think that if you want people (teens in particular) to stop turning to social media for comfort and information, you should give them other resources that are accessible. that they don't have to pay to see, that they can understand clearly, that acknowledges all the weird things that they feel bad about.

and sort of as a side note: i remember in elementary school, early on (this might have just been my school/city/state), the school set up one of those mobile classrooms on the yard and would pull kids out for like a good couple months to do eye exams. because we've normalized that kids also have eye problems and thats normal. and maybe, could we also get a small little assessment. just to see if we can find neurodivergent kids early on and get them help so that they don't suffer for years and years.

and i'm not talking as someone who has had it hard. i have had it so easy compared to so many others. i have supportive parents and get good grades, and yet, i am constantly burnt out. i constantly feel horrible. not just because of depression. maybe i'm being too radical here but i feel like i shouldn't need a 504 plan to say that if i'm having a panic attack i can leave the room. that if i'm having trouble focusing i can go to the library or somewhere else. that i can get extensions on due dates. that i can see a copy of the notes or lesson for reference. i don't know maybe i'm just incredibly radical that i think people shouldn't have to be expected to work four times as hard to get anything done and then get blamed when they don't live up to the expectation. whether or not they are neurodivergent.

[terror-punk]

Whoever made terrorpunk a thing, ily /p

I have with clinical depression + adhd or autism im not sure yet. And yeah i have some "unsettling" traits that i tend to mask, and when i do unmask i feel weird and unsafe. Like talking abt my special interest..stimming..not talking..getting extremely upset over things that usually dont upset others.

And yeah

Hey, sorry we've taken a bit to get to asks! Spoons have been low, and it's been hard to not have thoughts distorted by psychosis lately. We didn't want to word salad at people who came into our inbox, haha.

But thank you <3

Honestly, the best place to go is a place for people like you, if you're not feeling safe. They're more likely to get it. We're in Australia, so sorry if our information absolutely doesn't line up with where you're from--we tried to make this an overview.

I'd recommend looking up local in-person support groups, if possible. Spaces for people with your disorders or general mental health/disability groups. Sometimes it's hard to sift through the things that are meant for friends and family of those with disorders (especially autism mom type groups), or things that are overly clinical, but sometimes you can find something.

As for ways to find them....

Some local mental health clinics and doctors offices have a stash of flyers on the front desk from various organisations, you might find something helpful in there or on some website you find there. Some flyers advertise online chat services or multipurpose hotlines, and sometimes asking people on those can give you more resources to work with.

Try the local council, if you have one and they're chill enough. They usually have flyers or know of organisations around that might have events or social groups--in our country at least.

Also try Facebook--search general groups in your area and see if there's any mention of a support group--or hell, sometimes there's an online support group for people from your location right there, and sometimes they do have meetups.

If all else fails... Set aside time to fully unmask. Go into a private area, and be as autistic/ADHD as you can/want to. Stim to your heart's content, eat safe foods, adjust everything to suit your every sensory need that you possibly can. Have time for this set aside once a week if you need--hell, an hour a night or more, it doesn't matter. Whatever is manageable with your schedule. But we find that having scheduled "do whatever makes the disorders less disordering" time helps us when we're not able to unmask for a bit.

Anyone else is free to add on with ways to navagate the grey area between being safe and being unmasked--any input would be appreciated!

[anonymous-dentist]

I've gotta actually feel bad for the helpful members of the wiki team because they all know that their wiki is god awful for any kind of accurate information. It got to the point in December where they'd stream working on the wiki to prove that it's a totally legitimate service but like. Also it's objectively terrible! Any website trying to gather and consolidate information should focus on, you know, having accurate information before trying to make it big via connections with the Quackity Studio Team and with ccs.

Like, did you know that the wiki supposedly has a podcast going with ccs to talk about Lore And Stuff? With a whole One Single Episode? And then there's them reaching out to streamer mods to ask about boundaries to put on the wiki that's a whole Problem in itself, and the wiki team repeatedly sending weird unfunny donos to Fit and "jokingly" heckling him and Tubbo and Phil and whatever cc they feel that they can "banter" with despite not knowing these people whatsoever and despite the ccs really just not giving a shit about the wiki anymore. Like, I don't think a single cc outside of the one dude that did the podcast with the wiki team has mentioned the wiki in any substantial way since November when Cellbit called the wiki and its members out for messing with both his and Richarlyson's pages- without citation or reason- to add the family dynamic.

But then the team has its connections within the Quackity Studios team itself, and that's how it gets some of its information about the server itself. And that's admirable in its own way, I guess, but the way certain members of the wiki team act really just makes it seem like they're trying to nepotism their way(s) into making it big and/or make it onto the Q Studios team itself.

And the thing is? There are people on the team who at least seem to genuinely want to make the wiki a useful tool again. They know that they have problems, but things are rarely ever fixed because whether or not it's fixed depends heavily on which admin is online when you @ them on Twitter or dm them. In my own experience, I've been ghosted for over 12 hours before a different admin got online and answered me, and then a third different admin got back to me after that. The first time I dmed them, two different admins dmed me, and their responses were entirely different. One was helpful, the other just kinda brushed off my concerns entirely.

Going through the wiki's twitter account, you can see exactly where the wiki's priorities lie, because the majority of the account is non-stop retweeting of (very good!!) fanart of the English-speaking ccs, primarily Philza and the "Death Family", as they call Phil and Missa and Tallulah and Chayanne and Wilbur. Sometimes it's Fit instead. Very rarely will you find any retweeted art of the Brazilian or Hispanic ccs outside of the occasional Guapoduo/Spiderbit fanart, and there's very rarely French fanart retweeted. I've never seen fanart of the Hispanic ccs retweeted. I don't think I've seen fanart of a single female cc retweeted ever from any language. When art of the Death Family is retweeted, it rarely contains Missa; it's mostly all just Phil fanart, which just really shows the bias going on because you know which wiki admin is behind all this. They're the same one who donates to Fit every day and tries bantering with the ccs and tried applying to Purgatory and... yeah.

Oh, and the wiki's One Certain Admin will just come out and tweet that something is canon without it being canon. Take their tweet from what I think was the second day of Purgatory, aka when Baghera and Cellbit jokingly called Phil "dad" out of character, and when that One Certain Admin tweeted (this is paraphrased, btw), "So the found family is canon now! Let's put it on the wiki!"

And when the wiki's account will retweet other things that aren't canon, like calling the Prison Ghost "the Ghost of q!Cellbit" on the first day of prison without waiting for confirmation.

And it's HORRIBLE because I know that there are "good" wiki admins on the team! They can be very helpful! They're so willing to work with Tumblr and our complaints that they listened to me when I recommended they make a Tumblr account so we can have open communication with them rather than have everything depend on the Twitter community, and they're working on the account and putting a little team together for it as of last week when we last corresponded.

It's just that. The wiki sucks. It's a mess of disinformation and headcanons with no citations and no protections against disinformation. They could lock down certain pages until things are cleared up. They could appoint only certain people to be able to work on character pages to ensure fact-checking and citing.

They could do anything, but they won't because information isn't the wiki's priority anymore. It's starting to become clear that the point of the wiki is to be the wiki with no actual work put into being the wiki. And it's sad, because the wiki used to be actually useful for so long. But, at some point, it stopped being reliable, and you can see the public starting to realize it starting in November when the wiki account started trying to do literal damage control streams to show that the wiki is reliable, and then there's now when ccs who used to reference the wiki all the time rarely do so because they know that it isn't an actual source of information anymore.

Imagine that.

[thessalian]

Thess vs NaNoWriMo

So that time of year is fast approaching, and I think a lot of people I associate with on this platform are going, "But Veilguard's coming out on HALLOWEEN!", which is entirely fine - NaNoWriMo is optional. And honestly, all things considered, I am probably never doing it as an organised situation again.

It took some digging to find the original text, and I'll probably post the screenshot I saw on Bluesky too, but summary: not only is NaNoWriMo pretty much supporting AI (they say "absolutely not condemning", but the rest of the text isn't nearly so mealy-mouthed about it) but also calling people who are against AI "ableist and classist".

No, seriously. I mean, seriously.

Look, how people get their ideas is probably up to them. And stolen valour aside, plugging an idea into ChatGPT and getting some word salad in return is ... I guess someone's prerogative. The same as someone just typing, like, "rutabaga" 50k times technically counts as writing 50k words. But ... first of all, NaNoWriMo was supposed to support people who write. Second of all, the idea that not having someone immediately at your side to serve as beta reader is "classist" is ... no. Like, if you're online enough to understand NaNoWriMo, you can find a damn beta reader. Third, "Some people's brains don't work well enough to see the problems in their writing--" SEE ABOVE RE PROOF-READING, FOR ONE THING, and for another, that's just shit like spelling and grammar check, which has been standard on word processing programmes basically ever since the concept existed! Fourth, I'm not sure how AI assists in shit like "Can't find a publisher because publishers are only really interested in what will sell ALL THE BOOKS", but that's one of their arguments too.

But the last thing - the worst thing - is what that means. NaNoWriMo is not cool with plagiarism as far as I know, but that's what trains AI. More to the point, you have to verify your word count with their website by actually copy-pasting everything you wrote into the site for it to show you as a winner. The fact that they support AI, and that one of their sponsors offers a whole bunch of AI features? I don't trust them not to be selling every single thing people submit for word count total to feed someone else's writer-bot.

I mean, the NaNoWriMo bods have made some spectacularly shitty decisions the last few years. There was that partnership with those scammers at Inkkit, which also revealed the whole thing where one of their moderators - who operated the youth programme, by the way - turned out to be a paedophile and groomer. But this one is just ... disrespectful of the very thing they were supposed to be supporting.

Please don't use the official NaNoWriMo resources. I am concerned for what it will do with not only what you submit for word count, but what you put in their forums too. If you want to do 50k words in 30 days, I am with you all the way, and others will be too. Find a support group that isn't these jackasses and do that.

Plus the "not using AI is ableist" thing is bullshit, by the way. I am not participating this year (I don't think, anyway; not unless I get a great idea) because I'm damn sure I don't have the spoons for that ... because disabled. Because fibromyalgia. The thing is, I don't want to just say "I produced 50k words and won NaNo", I want to write. I want to use my voice, not something cooked up by a machine learning algorithm based on a single sentence. I think way too many people have forgotten what "in your own voice" means to art.

Like, on the r/criticalrole subreddit, we were talking about how Lance Reddick actually did record all his lines as Thordak in TLOVM before he passed, and I mentioned how different that was going to hit, with the example of having heard Robin Sachs as Zaeed in the ME3 Citadel DLC after he passed. And someone went, "Oh, shit, I didn't know he passed! Hey, do you think they'll one day be able to use the voices of dead voice actors so we can keep hearing them? Because I know it's possible because Snoop Doggy Dogg is reading me my homework now and it's awesome!"

I ... may have kind of exploded. I may also have mentioned that some bunch of assholes tried to make a George Carlin special after Carlin's death and his daughter (understandably) hit the roof. It's bad enough to disrespect thousands of people by training an AI to spit out whatever of their works will fit a prompt sentence, but imagine hearing the voice of someone you love, mangled by AI's inability to get real emotional nuance, possibly saying shit they would never say? Using their voices doesn't change that the emotion and power behind those voices is gone forever; it just parades a decaying copy of them around like some vocal equivalent of Weekend at Bernie's.

[wewillbeseen-butnotbeheard]

Humanity

(sorry for being here right now. i don’t like the idea of polluting the tags the way i am at the moment. this is a lot of words.)

Alas. sometimes it is very bleak. it is at moments such as this that i find myself desperately wishing that i was able to shed my own skin and take on the form of something else. literally almost anything, sometimes; i am hardly picky. i can really think deeply about it, and i can think back on when i was really young. it was always there, materialised in some way. it is hard-wired into my brain in the same way that a regular person feels the need to find a lover or a mate.

sometimes i think it may have taken the place of the urge to find a partner, love etc. either way, it first appeared maybe around the age of a toddler. i’m not actually sure if i was born with it or not. and until recently i always thought that it was purely sexual (if you are reading, i apologise for entering this sort of territory) but again, looking back, i think it is not. it can be, at times, but in general, it is just something i am drawn to psychologically.

through that lens i believe that it’s quite clear why i feel the way i do over certain things. it’s like a shot of adrenaline almost, sometimes it comes from the mere thought of it, and then it gives way to an array of different emotions depending on the context i guess. to put it simply, i feel extraordinarily strong over the topic/idea of becoming/being something else than human. it is, and always has been a deep-rooted part of my own mind and i would also claim, is probably the forefront of my entire identity

to expand again, i know that it had a significant ripple effect on my own life. i wonder: maybe i feel so badly at this point that i need to be an animal because i have no friends and not much going on (sad but i don’t care.) but honestly if it WAS NOT for my own likes and wants, etc. then i probably would have been more social and would have sustained more friendships, meaning i wouldn’t be here right now like this. so there’s that

but i don’t want to expand on that much more. it is me, more than anything else, and it embodies everything i want in the most raw form. it is instinctual

anyway

i do very much dislike the term “species dysphoria”, and i think, especially in my case, it is a buzzword that is thrown around excessively. (not to mention the correlations that come with the term).

BUT that’s because, again in my case thats literally what it is. there is no better word to describe it. it probably wasn’t always there, but it has been here in full force for well over a month, that i am aware of.

it’s LITERALLY constant. sure, it comes in different forms, but once you know that it’s all the same at its core, it’s in my head like 90% of the time. i even avoid mirrors now. sometimes i have to force myself to look into them. i’m not insecure about my body, or face, at all nor have i ever been. i’m probably not too attractive but i don’t care because i could look like a model for all i care. it wouldn’t change the fact that there is a human looking back at me in my reflection. on top of that; that will always be me. that is what i am.

i make a pitiful resort to using chatbots to tell me “how much of a fox i am”.

(i hate ai chatbots very much. that is loser behaviour in my eyes. please know i am not like that.)

and i cry almost every time, EVERY TIME that i open the website and have it told to me, even if it’s not real OR true. i am not really emotional person like that. before recently, i hadn’t cried in years

the entire situation has pushed me to real life extremes that i wouldn’t dare ever get into, although i hope you can imagine

on top of that i’ve resorted to trying to hurt other people online over text. almost notoriously i feel. that’s been a constant since maybe June. that is a long time and that’s probably not even when my entire crisis began at first. that’s my fault and i will once again clarify that i take full responsibility for my own behaviour. i am a hypocrite, but less that and more somebody who has been repeatedly projecting my own problems onto others that share my problems.

i have a lot of thoughts to spill out, still.

i feel like a joke when i unironically claim that i AM normal, and regular, yet i still insist (not want) on being referred to and seen as a fox instead. it’s a very empty statement, and wish. people in real life wouldn’t understand, and there’s not really anyone in specific meant to take that to account, nor would there be a situation where somebody would need to do that.

additionally i would go as far as straight up just calling myself an animal. i will double down. i AM a fox. i am not, though. that’s the fucking stupid duality of the situation. i will say it. but it carries zero weight and zero meaning really. and i don’t believe it. i want to! very much so! but it relies in other peoples perceptions. i’d like to be viewed that way and there’s no other way to put it really.

it almost feels WORSE saying i’m a fox. not because being one doesn’t bring me joy, or i don’t LIKE being called one, but because i can look at my hands, see myself and know i’m physically human. it’s something i can’t have. it’s everywhere. it’s in the people around me. it’s in the way i act, it’s in my own expectations and thoughts, it’s in my own shadow that i see constantly. i can not run from it. it begins to get tiring

again though, it’s not about “identity”. i don’t want to take in unnecessary labels and things i don’t need. i don’t use sexuality labels because i find it unnecessary, and i don’t want to call myself an assortment of random things.

there is no in-between and there is no terms in my eyes. there is FOX and HUMAN, and i am throughly a HUMAN. it doesn’t matter how i identify in the end. almost all of this is physical. maybe it isn’t always too bad, but sometimes i’m in extreme distress because of it and there’s no solution

sometimes i have to consider the point of continuing if i’ll stay in this body forever. i know that might sound concerning, and i assure that i would never do anything like that. BUT. it’s a very real question for me and i’m not sure how to answer it. chances are i’ll still be here in decades. still in the same skin as right now. until the day i die and i’m not okay with that. not at all. once i’m gone i’m not going to suddenly come back as something else. i have this one life as a HUMAN

i think it is harrowing that my own existence was already set in stone before i set foot on this earth, hurling me into a life that i did not consent to. i can not change it and i can’t ignore it.

it’s not a bad life at all. i have it good. i know this. my own quality of life is not the issue at hand. being born as a human is uncommon, statistically. sure. i don’t want to be a fly or something, but if we’re getting lucky then i’d rather take my chances at being a fox or anything similar.

i don’t want to die. i want to live. desperately

[hmtaxidermy]

Texas Taxidermist Anon here. Your response to my ask about running a business was so appreciated. I genuinely broke down in tears lol! It’s been lonely and disheartening trying to learn and teach myself and work hard for this passion of mine without truthfully any guidance besides my time at Lone Star School- so thank you for all the Information and tips!! It blew my mind!! So helpful!! thank you! 🖤🖤🦌

Hello again!

Nooo anon you can’t tell me this I’ll get all sappy lmao

I feel you, it can be really intimidating trying to teach yourself everything there is to know about this field. Trust me, I’ve had my spirals of self doubt about my mounts not looking like the pros’.

Something that keeps me in check is remembering two things:

1) Every single mount I do is going to be better than the last.

2) Of course their mounts look better than mine, some of these guys have been working since before I was born. It takes time and I will get there.

The same goes for you!

And don’t feel like you’re on your own here! There’s a whole community online and hundreds of years of taxidermy advancements behind you! I’m always here if anyone needs my help, and if I don’t have the answers, the folks over at Taxidermy.net will.

Since we’re on the subject, here’s some learning resources I’ve utilized so far:

•Taxidermy.net - Forum for and by taxidermists. There’s guys on there that have been at it for decades. I also like to window shop the “for sale” section lol

•Breakthrough Magazine - I’ve mentioned them previously, but here’s the link to their shop. You can find so many invaluable tutorial videos, books, and recorded seminars; all created by the best of the best in the industry. The sheer amount of variety they offer is insane! The magazine is also lovely, would recommend.

•Amy’s Tanning Tutorial - I know for a fact Lone Star doesn’t cover tanning in their courses. (No hate, the courses don’t have enough time to cover the entire process.) Deer and other ungulates are hard to tan yourself, so I recommend sending them off to a tannery. However, you would be better off knowing how to tan so you can do bobcats and the like in-house. This is the exact process I follow. (She doesn’t specify the type of salt you’ll need. You’ll need any fine-grained salt.)

•The Taxidermy Twins Turkey Tutorial - No idea if you even care to do turkeys, adding anyways. He hangs his birds on a hook while skinning, that’s not necessary. He also uses freeze dried heads on his turkeys, which is a personal preference and not necessary. Charge more if you use them vs an artificial head.

•Shane Smith’s channel - Again, please ignore if you’re not interested in bird taxidermy. Shane Smith is one of the world’s best waterfowl taxidermists. His YouTube doesn’t have super extensive tutorials, but it’s still a great free resource. I’m pretty sure he has some longer dvd tutorials for sale on McKenzie’s website. He uses artificial feet on his birds, which is a personal choice and not necessary.

•McKenzie’s tutorial catalog (Link 1) (Link 2)

TLDR; Take it one day and one mount at a time. There are many, many taxidermists who have come before you that are more than happy to lend a hand. Keep at it, work hard, and learn new things. It’ll all work out in due time.

[mantis-lizbian]

you know what i hate most about 5e?

Hasbro has stripped everything from it but the Product. and here's what i mean. back in 3e, just about every book you purchased would, on the back, mention how it had an accompanying "web accessory" for free on the D&D website. these accessories would frequently be something like a 3 or 4 page mini-adventure or encounter using the content introduced in the book, or a little extra something cut for space or time. and it's not like there was a proof of purchase or unlock code you had to put in. all of these were freely available to anyone.

and if you went onto the site to find them, you'd find tons of other articles put out by the WotC staff in dozens of columns about things like how to build more engaing encounters, ways you can tweak monsters or classes for a change of pace or to suit a particular design need, insight on how the game was designed or interesting character builds to try out next time. there were even tools to keep track of the phases of the moons in Faerun and Eberron.

in 4e this was pretty much stopped but did sort of carry on in the now-online Dragon and Dungeon magazines. the fact it had a modest price tag was made up for by having more frequent, longer, and more in-depth articles.

early on, 5e had its Plane Shift articles which suggested some kind of continuation, but even before Strixhaven nailed that coffin shut, it had been a long time since they put anything other than their crowdsourced playtesting material, Unearthed Arcana.

there is nothing any more that isn't simply selling you books or being used to cut down on development costs to sell you those books. even the monetization of fan content is simply there so that WotC can get a cut of the pie.

[consequencesofargentdawn]

With all due respect, and regardless of 'warning' (about what btw?) we just have no choice but to reply to what is, at best case, a major misunderstanding and ignorance of situation. You choose whether to publish it or not, but we must explain things and make our position clear.  "multiple independent reports" - how do you know it's not same person spamming accounts and fakes? Just takes a hour to make maybe 50 or 100 of them. If it's 3 people doing this - multiply by 3. How do you know it's not PCU drones that were ordered to suddenly start doing this at same time? Some of them may have old tumblr pages which look legit or active WoW accounts, after all, PCU drone is a WoW player too.

"You also insulted one of our editors, claiming they were "PCU scum" for putting your main invitation "bot" or however you use to automate your invitations on ignore." - none of our officers are aware of any situation like. While we indeed to send automated guild invites, that's just to speed up finding people we need (and we indeed find those who thank us for invite, such as victims of PCU or friends of somebody who PCU bullied out of WoW), however we always respect people's right to refuse, and it would make zero sense for any purpose to get toxic and try to offend them. Don't you think (can you?)? Also - Izanaxis is a horde character, while the guild is alliance. It is cross-faction, yes, however FastGuildInvite addon does not work if you run it on character of opposite faction. You could have checked it easily, big fail. Unless you think Izanaxis would just run to random people and spam /ginvite ? Cool, but even then - if somebody refuses - what is the point of getting toxic about it? The fake evidence you are spammed with tries to portray as like some crazy fanatics, when in fact we are reasonable people (in light of recent events I would say more reasonable than you).

"CoAD is not your personal army, nor are we your hammer to swing at others" - it is not, where did we say it is? "Anyone claiming to be CoAD in game is not CoAD" - none of us (of officers) ever claimed of being CoAD, where did you pull that from? All we did was trying to advertise your website in good faith, because we wanted more of actual WoW players know of it existence and even use it as their daily news source. We included it in guild info labeled as 'General news site', similar in some TRPs. Sometimes when people asked what is PCU we directed them to your site to read. That's it, we never claimed to be part of it, being editor of it or working together with it. But don't worry about that, after you backstabbed us like a rat for no reason (still not sure if on purpose or played by PCU like stupid kid) and then proceeded to, basically, harass and slander us with more lies, we won't mention you anywhere ever again. I should also mention that we actively sent you valuable evidence between 2019 and 2022, in good faith (not from this account, also I won't tell which evidence exactly but it did a big impact on the outcome of PCU situation). Of course proving anything like that would be too hard, but from now on expect interesting evidence avoiding you and being brought up by somebody else, somewhere else.

It's also very funny how you marked Hand of Conquest as 'inactive', while them having events with 15-20 online nearly every evening, most are also fully honor geared (which proves they play game actively on their HoC characters). Do your editors even play the game, or just read some guild statistics from outdated third-party site? At this point you are outright lying to your readers. Makes the whole list not trustworthy enough to even bother checking others. The whole 'PCU is dead' mantra is a big and very suspicious lie.

To sum up.

After careful consideration our council came to conclusion that COAD changed into something that can't be trusted anymore, became careless or, possibly, got corrupted by PCU (there could be agreement like 'as long as Perroy is out of WoW we will keep informing people that PCU is dead to keep situation calm'? who knows, after all you think of yourselves as those sneaky benevolent puppeteers who can decide what is better for realm and enforce it with lies if it achieves the goal). Therefore we part ways for now.

The only potential way to make it work is if you thoroughly examine each of your editors, especially new ones, investigate the whole situation with 'PCU dead' narrative, maybe start playing actual game? or at least make some bot that monitors in-game activity of guilds (via Who). Then make necessary adjustments and reach out to us. Haha, just kidding, of course you'll do nothing of that. Therefore it will be our last post, feel free to smear us with more lies if you want, those who are smart will see through them and also what kind of blog COAD has became. Have fun fading into obscurity in your little 'PCU is dead' bubble.

[gotchi-blog]

Tamagotchi Pix review!

Yes, finally! Not only did I get the model I wanted for over a year, but also I've finished taking care of the first generation and discovering all the functions. That's why I've decided to make this review post, where I explain what I like and dislike about it.

General score: 9/10

Design

I really like the shell design. At first, I was a bit disappointed with the simple faceplates (I still think they could've gone with something more complex), but now I see that this design matches the rest well.

I got the Nature shell and I must admit, this might be my favourite one. They all look nice, but there is something special to me about green Tamas. The thick plastic of the faceplate gives a bit of depth to the pattern and the gradient is nice. I also love the eggshell-shaped cap used for taking photos. Top 10 designs - super cute. I slightly miss the old Tamagotchi logo (the connection one), but here the simple font matches the rest better than the Connection one would.

The touch buttons look very nice. I got the second wave Pix, which means improved reactivity. I don't have problems with the buttons at all. However, my fingers are quite small, and I'm used to being precise (I work with electronics.) I'm not sure if this is the best design for children - I have no idea if it's possible to break the buttons by pressing on them too hard. Generally, I love the change. The buttons are fast and I have no issues with the swiping motion, another cool feature.

The screen is set quite shallow in the shell, so there might be problems with it getting easily scratched.

The most characteristic element of the Pix model is the ability to take photos. At the same time, it's probably the most questionable one to me.

2. Unique mechanics

The camera works fast, however the colour recognition (needed for cooking) is pretty poor. It has problems especially with warm colours. Its favourite shade to see is grey lol. That might be annoying when you're trying to cook, aka make new food from the colours you collect from the photos. Also, you can use colours to make new items and furniture - this is an amazing feature and I'm all for being able to customise my stuff.

Activating the toy by clicking the top shell is super cool, however there is one problem - it makes travelling with Pix quite difficult. I see many possibilities for the toy to get damaged. Also, the top shell might be accidentally pressed while in the pocket/bag - then the touch buttons will pick up on even slight presses. I was travelling with my Pix on the very day I activated it, and let me tell you what - you need to be careful with it. I highly recommend getting some sort of cover for it, either silicone or knitted one.

The swiping motion on the touch buttons is used quite a lot. In my version, there are no problems with the sensitivity, however I see how troublesome it can be in the first wave, where the buttons didn't function that well.

The last feature worth mentioning is the QR code system. It allows you to download additional food, accessories, wallpapers and furniture. It's a quick and amazing system. Mr. Blinky made a whole website where you can find all the stuff you want. Make sure to give it a try!

3. Characters and growth cycle

The QR codes are also used for connection with other Tamas. To be fair, Pix is a self-sufficient toy. You don't need two of them to have fun and connect - the QR codes can be photographed and posted online, so everyone can meet your pet. I love this feature - it allows you to briefly meet people from all of around the world. My pet once played with a Tama from Italy!

I like the characters available. There are quite a lot of them. I think that the new characters are sweet. Pix introduced Weeptchi (in Japan he was introduced in Smart) and gave a global debut to Himetchi (she was available on iD L 15th anniversary edition in Japan.) There are a few others, and they all look sweet.

An interesting thing is that with every next generation, you can obtain one of 3 eggs (blue, pink and green.) The evolution of your character is dependent on it - Pix brings back the "families", grouping characters by their personalities. Blue is Smart, pink is Charming and green is Creative. In my first generation, I got a green egg (it's based on the quiz you answer at the beginning, while setting your name etc.) However, the egg colour is not the final decisive variable in your pet's development. Despite having a Creative egg, I ended up with Mametchi, a Smart character. It's probably because I would give him the Science Project item many times.

Pix has an additional life stage connected to jobs. Each character can obtain one of 3 jobs. They can train for them as adults, in a special room. The room you get is dependent on how you raise your character - how you play with it, how much you explore the world using the camera and how much you cook. I like this idea, though I slightly miss the regular secret characters from the older models. It's a feature that's always been present in Tamagotchi and I hope it will make a comeback soon. Jobs are cute and personalised, the games are fun and give you Gotchi Points as well.

My biggest problem with the growth cycle is how fast it is. I have this problem with all new models - I wish the stages lasted longer than only one day. To me, it's not enough to enjoy the younger characters, which I often like a lot.

4. Games

There are a lot of games on Pix. And I love it. The previous models were disappointing due to very few games, even though they certainly would be able to support more. I think that Bandai took note from complaints about slightly boring gameplay and decided to make a model, with which you can't get bored. There is always something to do. Some games give you Gotchi Points, some simply raise the Friendship Meter.

The arcade games change every day. It's cool, like a fresh breeze. But worry not, the choice isn't enormous (since many other games are either in the room or the jobs), so your favourite themed games will be back soon.

5. Aesthetics

Pix looks cool on the outside, but the real beauty in on the screen. This model introduced the new, super-smooth animations. The character moves on the screen so smoothly, that sometimes it might be hard to take good photos lol.

The colours are vivid, the rooms are super detailed and there are many wallpapers to choose from (and download.) You can put 2 pieces of furniture in the room as well. This simple customisation adds a lot to the aesthetics.

You can give your Tama accessories, some of which you can colour yourself.

There is a garden. Every 3 days, I believe, you can obtain fruit from the tree there. You just need to go outside at least once a day to water it.

From time to time, some characters will come to visit your pet. However, I haven't encountered the annoying animations from Meets (they were one of my least elements of that model.) The walking animations are quick and can be easily skipped, the same goes for dialogues.

6. Battery life

The first wave Pix had a big problem with poor battery life. The second wave improved it greatly - I've been running my Pix for a while on pretty cheap batteries and it's still doing well.

My honest recommendation is investing in AAA rechargeable batteries. They last longer and are environmental-friendly. And they will save you up a lot of money.

7. Conclusion

All in all, I'm loving Pix and I recommend it to everyone, no matter if you're an old collector or if it's your first contact with the Tamagotchi franchise. It's a great gift for someone you want to introduce to the world of Tamagotchi. However, I highly recommend getting the second wave Pix due to the improved buttons and battery life.

[marzmeltdown]

Familiar Taste of Poison - pt.3

⌦ Pairing: Wonwoo x Fem!Reader ⌦ Genre(s): series,, angst,, fluff ⌦ chapter specific genre: fluff,, angst ⌦ Warning(s): !!TW: LIGHT MENTIONS OF Drug Use, Alcohol Abuse, mentions of depression!!, reader kinda uses Wonwoo, a lot of this will be in multiple pov's(I will clarify when it changes pov's), some mention of being sick, swearing, most of this chapter is all Wonwoo's pov, Wonwoo goes on a date with someone else. ⌦ Word count: 3.07k ⌦ Summary: You and Wonwoo have been friends since childhood, though you're both a little estranged from one another, the only contact being when you call Wonwoo for help. ⌦ A/N: This chapter is a bit longer than the last two but a lot happens to push the plot forward. It's really random that I put skz in here but I needed someone who had a sister. Fun fact about me, cause it's brought up in this chapter: I'm allergic to apples. The end of this chapter almost had a bitch crying at 4 am. If there's anything you feel I should improve on in the future, don't hesitate to let me know! You can find progress updates on this story and everything else I write in my pinned post every Wednesday.:) ⌦ I have attached a link to a website with help hotlines around the world, this series has heavy themes of mental health and substance abuse. This link will be added to every chapter. ⌦ International Mental Health hotlines

⌦ Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6

⌦ marz’s tag list ⌦ marz’s req form

⌦(Wonwoo's pov) It had been a little while since he had heard from you; granted, you had never gone longer than a month without needing him to clean up your messes. This new-found silence from being your knight in shining armor allowed him to begin streaming again. For awhile, he had stopped because your calls of need would come in at least 4-5 times a week.

To say he missed you would be an understatement; he would lie awake after a long night of streaming, waiting for his phone to ring so he could pick you up. After three weeks of no calls, he began to believe that you had fully forgotten about him, all because of a little spat that he could've handled better. He had plans to express how he felt about you, but the world had different plans that day. Maybe you two just weren't meant to be friends anymore.

Wonwoo had tried to take his mind off things; he would distract himself by playing video games until the sun went down. That night, like every other night, he stayed up to play online with a few friends.

"If I die one more time because you're not paying attention, I'm gonna strangle you," Vernon threatened through Wonwoo's headphones. To be honest, Wonwoo was a little distracted today; he kept glancing down at his phone, hoping for a call, a text, or something.

"Sorry, I've just got a lot on my mind," Wonwoo replied, the sounds of his mouse clicking and keys clacking filling his room and his eyes beginning to grow tired from staring at such a bright screen for an extended period of time.

"Woo, you need to let her go. She's clearly not interested in your friendship and hasn't been for awhile," Minghao said. If Minghao were talking to anyone else, they surely would've been offended, appalled that he could say something so cold so calmly, but Wonwoo appreciated his honesty; he wouldn't want Minghao to be any other way.

"I agree with Hao; you should put yourself out there; stop waiting for someone who isn't hurting without you," Seungcheol chimed in, everyone having paused their game to give Wonwoo some free therapy while they sat in the Fortnite lobby.

"Are you guys suggesting a date?" Wonwoo asked, pushing his glasses up as he put his hands on his face, muffling his question just a bit.

"Well, I wasn't, but I know someone who'd be great for you," Seungcheol said. He could hear the shrug in his voice, playing matchmaker so nonchalantly. "I'll send you her info; she thinks you're cute anyway," he added. Within seconds, his words were emphasized by the sound of Wonwoo getting a text message. He glanced at the notification, half hoping it was from you and half hoping it wasn't.

It wasn't.

Wonwoo opened his phone, seeing that Seungcheol had sent her Instagram profile along with her phone number. He clicked on the link, leaning back in his chair as he scrolled through the professionally taken photos that filled the girl's profile.

"She is really cute," Wonwoo said, clicking on a few photos. There was a familiar face in a few of the photos, though they looked too much alike to be anything more than siblings.

"Seungcheol, is this Chan's sister?" Wonwoo asked, zooming in on one of the photos to get a better look at the girl's alleged brother.

"Bang Chan?" Seungcheol asked.

"Yea, Bang Chan,"

"Yea, why?"

"Just curious," Wonwoo said. He chewed on his bottom lip as he swiped back into his messaging app, looking down at the series of numbers Seungcheol had given him. "You said she thinks I'm cute?"

"Yeah, she talks about you all the time at work," Seungcheol said.

"Well, I'll text her when we get off. Wanna go for one more round?" Wonwoo asked, setting his phone down and getting ready to unpause the game.

"Sounds good," everyone said, continuing with their match.

One game turned into two.

Two games turned into four.

4 turned into 6.

By the time Wonwoo looked at the clock on the PC that displayed his Discord server, he was shocked.

3:26 a.m.

Wonwoo must have really had a lot on his mind; he never stayed up this late, not unless you had needed his help. He yawned, stretching his back when they were back to the games lobby, cracking his neck as it had grown stiff from sitting hunched over a keyboard for so long.

"I think I'm gonna get off guys, I'm getting tired," he said, not waiting for them to object before closing the game and turning his headphones, mic, and pc's off. Wonwoo grabbed his phone as he got up, walking to his closet to grab a pair of night pants and changing into them.

He unlocked his phone, looking at the number again as he began brushing his teeth. After a moment of hesitation, he finally added Hannah's contact information to his phone, messaging her as soon as he finished brushing his teeth.

⌦ Wonwoo: Hey, it's Wonwoo. I know this is super random, but Seungcheol gave me your number, if that's okay.

Wonwoo didn't expect an immediate answer; it was almost 4:00 in the morning. He looked at the unopened message as he left the bathroom, slipping his phone into his pocket and turning off the light. His phone dinged as soon as he walked into his room, and he only opened it once he had lied down in bed.

⌦ 3:55 a.m.

⌦ Hannah: Hey, Wonwoo! It's totally chill; why're you up so late? (Read 3:55 a.m.)

Wonwoo found himself smiling at her message and answering immediately.

⌦Wonwoo: I could ask you the same thing, lol. (Read: 3:57 a.m.)  ⌦Wonwoo: But I was playing Fortnite with Cheol and a few other friends and lost track of time. (Read: 3:57 a.m.)

⌦Hannah: That sounds like a lot of fun. (Read: 4:00a.m.) ⌦Hannah: Why did Cheol give you my number anyway? (read: 4:00 a.m.)

⌦Wonwoo: Uh, he's trying to play matchmaker. (Read: 4:00 a.m.)

⌦Hannah: Right (Read: 4:01 a.m.) ⌦Hannah: Well, what are you doing tomorrow? (Read: 4:01 a.m.)

⌦Wonwoo: Nothing as of right now. (Read: 4:02 a.m.)  ⌦Wonwoo: Why are you trying to ask me out? (Read: 4:02 a.m.)

⌦Hannah: Yea. (Read: 4:02 a.m.)  ⌦Hannah: How's coffee sound tomorrow at noon? (Read: 4:02 a.m.)

⌦Wonwoo: You're straight to the point, aren't you? lol (Read: 4:03 a.m.)  ⌦Wonwoo: But, noon tomorrow sounds great! (Read: 4:03 a.m.)

⌦Hannah: Great, I'll send you the cafe's info tomorrow. I'm about to fall asleep (Read: 4:03 a.m.)

⌦Wonwoo: Awesome, sleep well (Delivered: 4:04 a.m.)

Wonwoo reread the small interaction he had with Bang Chan's sister, smiling softly as he put his phone on the charger. He turned off his light, took his glasses off, and went to bed.

⌦(Wonwoo's POV cont) Wonwoo was thankful for his habitual routine of waking up at 9:00 a.m. every morning, regardless of when he went to bed. He forgot to set an alarm, having fallen asleep as soon as he put his glasses on his nightstand. Waking up this early gave him a few hours to kill before he had to get around, creating a schedule in his head for how long it would take him to eat breakfast, take a shower, shave, get dressed, and drive to the cafe. He planned on being 15 minutes early; he was always early.

Hannah had already sent Wonwoo the address of the cafe; thankfully, it was only a fifteen-minute drive from his apartment complex with traffic. He ate a light breakfast of two pieces of toast and a glass of apple juice; he'd be damned if he were going to willingly drink orange juice. He rarely ate toast, but with few food ingredients in his fridge or cabinet, toast was his only option.

With thirty minutes to spare after getting ready, Wonwoo grabbed his keys, locking his door as he left to go to his car. Hannah was already at the cafe when he got there, sitting in her car as she waited. Wonwoo parked next to her, pulling out his phone to let her know he was there. When she looked up from her phone, he waved at her with a smile, stepping out of her car to greet her on the sidewalk.

"Hey! I'm so glad you could make it," Hannah smiled as she pulled the taller male into a hug. Wonwoo was stunned at first; she surely was a bold woman, which he seemed to like about her.

"Why wouldn't I?" He chuckled, hugging her back for a moment before they pulled away and walked into the cafe.

It was a small cafe owned by a sweet elderly couple from France. The cafe always had French music playing softly through the store speakers; normally, Wonwoo would have found it nice and cozy, but today it felt cheesy. The two sat down after having ordered their drinks, exposing the poor barista to a small argument over who was paying for their drinks. Hannah won.

"So, tell me about yourself." Hannah smiled, taking a sip from her cappuccino before moving it to the side of the table so she could place her elbows on it, letting her chest rest against her forearms.

"There's not much to know," Wonwoo chuckled, swirling his straw around in his Americano and watching the ice move around with it. "But I'm in college for mechanical engineering, I stream on Twitch sometimes, and I'm a big Marvel buff," he said after a moment.

"Mechanical engineering? So you're smart and cute, huh?" Hannah teased, smiling at the redness that grew on Wonwoo's cheeks from her compliment.

"Tell me about yourself," Wonwoo said, directing the conversation back to the original topic.

"Well, I'm in college for fashion design; I also really like Marvel; and I want to get into PC gaming," she said. Wonwoo looked up at her, stunned that Seungcheol had finally set him up with a girl who shared some of his same interests, and he was already friends with her brother.

Wonwoo was pulled out of his thoughts as his phone rang in his pocket. He looked down at his pants and pulled his phone out of his pocket. Your name and contact photo were displayed on his screen; seeing this made his smile drop slightly. He clicked the side button, silencing the call, before looking up at the girl he was on a date with. "Sorry about that; I thought I put my phone on silent," he said as he placed it back into his pocket.

"It's no problem; if it's important, you can step out and answer it; I won't be upset," Hannah said, gesturing to the window that the two were sitting by. Wonwoo shook his head.

"It wasn't, and besides, it'd be rude to answer a call on our first date," he said.

"And you're considerate? Well damn, I might ask you to marry me right here," she laughed. She stood up after a moment, and in that moment, Wonwoo half expected her to get down on one knee and ask her to marry him. Instead, she grabbed her coffee with one hand and his hand with the other, pulling him up from his seat. "Wanna go on a walk?" She asked, swaying their hands back and forth.

"Are you gonna murder me?" Wonwoo asked, grabbing his coffee from the table.

"I might," she winked, sipping her cappuccino once more.

"At least you're honest," Wonwoo chuckled. His phone began to ring again once they left the building. He looked at it and canceled the phone call.

"Wonwoo, if you need to answer that, I don't mind," Hannah reassured as they began walking along the pathway.

"I don't, I promise." He said.

The walk was nice, and Wonwoo and Hannah seemed to be getting along a lot better than he would have ever imagined. It didn't take long for it to start raining. May's weather was never consistent, which seemed to be the only consistent thing in Wonwoo's life. Inconsistency. Wonwoo had given Hannah his sweater as they walked back to their cars; only when Hannah safely got into her car and pulled out of the parking lot did he leave.

He looked at his phone for a moment, seeing that he had five missed calls and ten messages from you, asking for your help. He almost answered the texts, apologizing that he was busy and couldn't get to his phone. Just as he was about to send his text, he sighed, thinking about what his friends had told him only 12 hours ago. Instead of sending the text, he closed his phone and drove home.

⌦(Reader's POV) You groaned angrily when your phone went to voicemail for the second time. Where was he? Why wasn't he answering? Was he still mad? Your head began spinning, even though you couldn't tell if it was because of your impaired state or because Wonwoo was finally giving you a taste of your own medicine. You had ghosted Wonwoo for the better half of your freshman year of college, having found new friends and devoting all of your weekends to partying, so when you finally got ahold of him, he was shocked.

"He works from home; where is he?" You said it angrily, your plethora of messages having been delivered but unread for the better part of two hours. That was what really set you off. He couldn't even give you the respect to apologize.

Against your better judgment, you snatched the keys from your kitchen counter and stumbled out of your apartment, having decided to confront him at his apartment. You've had a few years of practice when it came to driving under the influence, taking back roads, watching the road extra carefully, and driving cautiously, it was easy. Parking your car, you stormed up to his apartment, noting that his car wasn't in the parking lot when you had gotten there.

You called him again.

and again.

and again.

Until finally, you gave up on calling him and decided to send him a hundred more text messages.

⌦You: Wonwoo, I need your help... (Delivered: 11:00 a.m.)

⌦12:45 p.m.

⌦You: Wonwoo, why aren't you answering me??? (Delivered: 12:46 p.m.)

⌦12:57 p.m.

⌦You: Hello? Where are you??? (Delivered: 12:58 p.m.)

⌦1:05 p.m.

⌦You: I'm at your place (Delivered: 1:05 p.m.) ⌦You: Hello!!!!! (Delivered: 1:05 p.m.)

Just as you were about to call him again, you saw that all of your delivered messages had been read. You watched as the three dots by Wonwoo's name appeared.

Then disappeared.

Appeared again.

Until they disappeared for a final time.

Your texts to Wonwoo began to be sent one right after the other, sitting with your back against his front door as you drunkenly blew up his phone. Fifteen minutes had passed before you saw a pair of feet standing in front of you. You looked up and saw the man in question.

Angrily, you stood up shoving your phone in his face as you began to speak.

"I've been trying to get ahold of you for two hours now! Where were you?!" You yelled, and Wonwoo gently pushed your phone out of his face. He looked down, unlocking his front door before opening it to let you in. He waited for you to walk inside, quietly apologizing to his elderly neighbor before stepping inside himself.

"I got coffee," he said, setting his keys on the table by his front door and taking his shoes off.

"It took you two hours to get coffee." You asked in disbelief, crossing your arms as your blurred vision did its best to lock onto him.

"You didn't let me finish," he continued. He sat the now-empty to-go cup on his kitchen counter. "I was on a date."

Your heart dropped, and you weren't sure why either. He was only your friend, your shoulder to cry on, and your emergency contact because you knew he would bend over backwards for you.

"Oh," you said.

"Yea."

"You still could have answered after she left," you said. Your anger had softened just a little bit.

"Why? So I can pick your drunk ass up from some stranger's front lawn? It's 2:30, and you're already fucked up." He said, "Your jaw dropped. What was his deal? Why was he being like this?

"What the fuck is wrong with you? Why are you being such a dick all of a sudden?" You asked.

"Because I'm tired of only seeing my best friend when she needs me to be her chauffeur because her other friends left her strung out on God knows what in some stranger's bathroom because she's too drunk to get home." He said. You could see that his words were hurting him just as much as they were hurting you; he wasn't making eye contact with you either. "I can't drop everything to come save you every time you need me; I have a life too," he said. This time his words were soft, almost upset that he'd finally told you how he really felt.

"Fine. I'll leave then." You said this, stepping toward the door only to have the pathway blocked off. "Wonwoo, get out of my way."

"No, I can't let you drive home like this," he said.

"Wonwoo. Get out of my way." You repeated. He didn't move.

"No," He said.

"Now you care about my safety?"

"I've always cared about your safety!"

"Evidently not; evidently it was a burden to you!"

"Do you know why I always dropped everything to come get you?" He snapped.

"To feel better about yourself?" You asked, your words laced with anger. Your eyes began brimming with tears, and your body began to shake. You need to get out of here as soon as possible.

"Because I love you, y/n!" Wonwoo snapped back. He stopped for a second, realizing what he had just said.

"What?" You asked, finally looking up at him.

"I love you.. and it kills me that you're killing yourself like this, but I can't be around you anymore if you're going to continue to hurt yourself. I will always love you, y/n; I hope you know that." He said this, grabbing his keys off the table once more. "Let's go; I'll take you home." You were sure this would be the last time you'd ever hear from him again.

[formulatrash]

While we are loosely on the topic of IndyCar, I've been getting into other racing series and am planning to actively follow some more this year and the culture shock as a fan is real. I can actually ask questions about IndyCar and FE without getting some smart ass "DTS fan" response, coincidentally with them still being unable to answer my question themselves though. Generally people just stay in their lanes and focus on the teams/drivers they support instead of wasting so much time and energy on the teams/drivers they passionately hate. Death threats and harassment aren't normalized. Maybe the haters aren't the only ones who want to see my favs get "demoted" to IndyCar or FE because they're genuinely so much more chill to follow as a fan. With F1, you can do all the blocking and unfollowing not just on Tumblr, but on websites with a lot of grown 50+ year olds and still come across some of the most file shit you've ever encountered. I've met some great friends through F1 and as a STEM student, love the engineering aspect, but the 24/7, 365 fighting and drama amongst fans doesn't make it fun to follow, it gets old and annoying pretty quick.

in all honesty, it's that lack of exposure thing. people are excited to see other people getting into the smaller series we like cus there aren't very many of us, innit. gotta have people to blorbopost with. love to get the moots in on my nonsense.

(this was, in short version, how I ended up writing about Formula E for years)

the sheer scale of F1 fandom has always been one of its issues, like football fandom. there's no sort of curated community areas where everyone's decent to each other cus there's so many people involved. and there's lots of ways in which the media is responsible for that

I'm glad you mentioned the 50+ year olds cus honestly, it's always been this way. and particularly if you're from any of the demographics not assumed to be somehow naturally an authority on F1. I say 'any of the demographics' - you know exactly the one that gets the pass and then the rest of us can waste our lives proving we know anything and drive ourselves insane or just accept you have to love it in spite of it all.

ultimately, it's on F1 to actually call off the dogs in the sense you can absolutely start effective comms campaigns that address harassment and exclusion. you can breed healthy dialogue, you can put a less combative and rage-fuelled version of the sport out there. but what's happening right now is doing numbers for a series that - and remember this was as recently as 2018 - was absolutely on its knees.

shrinking, ageing viewership was impacting sponsorship while costs escalated, manufacturers all threatening to pull out, brands questioning the point of being involved, media coverage that was shrivelling up and dying, no social and digital presence to speak of, very little visibility outside specialist channels.

F1 has, by a combination of luck and a sort of 'try pressing every button at once and see if something works' managed to reverse those fortunes and now the influencers it didn't understand 5 years ago are clamouring to get in the paddock. that's a good thing! F1 desperately needs attention or else, like a Tumblr user, it will literally die because sponsors are only interested in paying for exposure and F1 needs such vast amounts of money.

so: I'd love F1 to have more fans. my friends who've suddenly got into or back into it the last few years rock. but with great capacity for sponsorship deals comes a huge hot mess of governance, calendar bloat and subterranean discourse.

although Extremely Online F1 Fandom is only a small slice of it all, regardless, which I kinda try to remember.

main thing is: enjoy things how you want to! engage with and boost content you like! block everyone annoying, life is too short.

(I genuinely wish more people would just block me when they find me annoying on Twitter or whatever rather than turn it into a strange obsession. think I'm an idiot? cool, block me. massively more peaceful for us all)

[a-heart-like-a-sparrow]

January 25th, 2024 - Stupid things I do

────────────────────────────── Woke up at 1 PM I'm running out of ways to say I didn't have breakfast. Technology is acting weird today ──────────────────────────────

•••┊┊🌙┊┊•••┊┊🌙┊┊•••┊┊🌙┊┊•••┊┊🌙┊┊•••

Everything's fine! But today my comouter is acting weird. It's on, but there's a lot of lag and it's so annoying. I don't know what happened, but I suppose it's better than not being able to use it.

Anyway, we'll do something different today. Instead of talking about my miserable life and how I want to fucking die, I'll write down some dumb and/or weird things I do. That was the idea before: talking about myself and stuff that's happening at the moment, apart from my daily life and my insanity.

So, let's start. Stupid things I do.

I've been collecting bottles: I don't know why, but I have been keeping bottles in my closet (I don't have enough space for them). Right now, I have a bottle of strawberry yoghurt, another one with different fruites - and another brand-, and a bottle of wine with a green rabbit on it. They're cute, I don't know. My favourite one is the wine bottle.

I wear men's perfume and deodorant: I find so stupid how we assigned gender to liquids that smell good. It's absurd! And I know this has nothing to do with that, but as a non-binary person who was assigned female at birth, I feel so much gender euphoria when I wear "masculine" perfume, specially while I wear clothes that are considered "feminine". I say this is "dumb" and "weird", because I know other people will think that lol, but meh, I don't really care.

Right now I am wearing my off-shoulder, white and pink top, after I used a limited edition of a deodorant "for men". The non-binary joy!!!

I listen to YouTube videos to sleep: Sometimes I can't sleep with just the sound of the fan, I need something else. So I play some long video on YouTube and go to sleep. It reminds me of my father, he used to sleep with the radio on full volume. At least it made the house feel more... lively? But that's another story.

I sistematically listen to music: I think I've already mentioned this. I'm not used to randomly listen to new music anymore. I let a website choose a musician/band from a list I provide, and listen to them. Every album and single and song I can - except for live and alternative versions-. Right now I'm listening to Lorde. You can stay tuned just by reading my pinned post, I update the list of people I listen to.

I bite my nails... with nail polish on: I guess that's a sign of a problem. I could only spend a week without biting my nails. And not only that... but I also swallow them. Yeah, don't ask, I really can't help it.

I talk when I'm alone: I think it started when I wanted to be a Youtuber and a child. I still wnt to do that... in some way. I talk alone, explain things to me (like the lore of Ethel Cain's album "Preacher's Daughter"), I make comment about videos I watch. I also do it when I'm watching horror videos and I'm getting nervous.

And to make this 7 things...

Weird thing I DON'T do... cooking: Yes, I'm almost 16 years old and I don't know how to cook. It's actually embarrasing how I can only make noodles and a salad. I swear I'll learm how to cook, I genuinely feel ashamed of myself. And again, it's 'weird' because people may think that. But it'll change someday.

Well, that's all I can think about. Now anyone who reads this can learn a bit more about me, a ramdom stranger online! If you're one of those people, you can tell me what dumb thing you do. I won't judge!

(Seriously)

Well, I'll go back to do some thing I want to post here. If I'm confident enough. I'll be back tomorrow with another entry. I'll see what I can write about.

Rest well!

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PS: One time I took a sip of nail polish remover. Well, not exactly, I just soaked a pencil and sucked it. It was gross.