#I am once again emotionally devastated by the last of us

[eviebakes]

No but how much Joel loves Ellie?? Getting her chef boyardee and board games. The blatant joy at seeing her smile and laugh. Asking her for bad puns and opening up about Sarah. Accepting her for who she is and telling her it wasn’t time that healed his wounds. The way the choice was never a choice for him at all; that the decision was her, always her, even before they stepped foot in that hospital, and I just—!!

[invisible-pink-toast]

so obviously this could just be an excuse for ben to be the one coaching the girls at their last practice before nationals, so that we as an audience see more of him because he's the coach that survives the crash...

but that line paired with the Tension in the scene with the Martinez family in the pilot has me so curious

We know Javi really looks up to his dad, but even though he loves him Travis makes it clear he can't stand his dad and there's obviously a lot going on between Coach Martinez and his wife.

we've seen flashbacks / hallucinations from all the main characters (sometimes brief but still) except for travis and van (who i also need more content from)

so bascially i am Once Again Asking for a Martinez family flashback. let their mom talk, or have a name! let us see the family dynamic, the lead up to three of them getting on that plane and only one of them coming home and never being the same. i need to see more of them, and it will be even more emotionally devastating now we know what happens to javi

[my-castles-crumbling]

24 anon back in misery business (.mp3) with an update!

the baby shower was absolutely stunning first of all (i knew it would be, they always do it up right. i saw some of the decorations beforehand (accidentally, not planned) and it was nice to see how they got used in the end). i went with my grandma and sat with her the whole time bc she didn't know anybody outside of my friend, her husband, and her immediate family and all of them were busy/sitting elsewhere. i had a nice time, all things considered. but whenever i go to any of her events i always end feeling like its another nail in the coffin somehow. i found out her babies middle name in the middle of the baby shower when she held up a gift with his first and middle name on it, we didn't take a single picture together (thats okay, we never do (which... in itself is probably a big sad for me too if i think on it too long lmao). i dont think i can remember us taking a picture together (aka not a selfie, which honestly would probably end up being around the same time too) after our junior year homecoming in like 2017 (?)) so it bummed me out to see her posts about it the next day with tens of pictures with other people and then the only inclusion of me in off in the distance in the background? i feel like its a bunch of little things i have to complain about but they add up and build up so easy, you know?

she's somebody i will forever actively choose to keep in my life, in whatever way that ends up being, but i have been trying to take a step back from the friendship a little bit. if only emotionally, at the moment. were so physically distant that distancing emotionally is near my only option lol. im trying to maintain the relationship as it currently is but im trying to get comfortable with the change in pace and meet her were she's at and not get upset (internally, i will never be upset with her about this or make her feel bad or reasonable or anything of the sort). ive spoken at length about this whole thing with my therapist so i feel validated in the decision in ways only a therapist can accomplish, but i feel like its such a major thing to make decision about in ways i cant articulate after working all day. i know a lot of this has to do with the age i am, but i feel like ive been hit with a lot if things all at once (both things just happening now and things that have finally built enough pressure to explode) that feel like the proverbial book of my childhood being shut for the last time except its not gently with a loving fondness, its getting slammed shut and tossed to the side to inevitably get thrown out. thats an in the moment sort of thought and feeling and ill heal from that eventually (growing up 2: the electric boogaloo, stoked for her), and all the dust will settle and ill be able to breathe clearly again, but dear god is it fucking unbearable in the mean time.

anyways, on a brighter note, my friend did LOVE the shower gift i gave her (a crocheted by me baby blanket (softest yarn in the world, her little sister took it around the whole room to show it off i literally adore her) and three books (she wanted books instead of cards)), and the picture of her opening that gift is my new favorite of her (i have a lot of complicated emotions about pregnancy and having children (a whole other can of worms) and, bc of this situation, her specifically having children so i have never been truly excited about her being pregnant and sort of dreaded it (i will never tell her that (and when i do it will be in a very long time). but im getting there little by little bc i want to be there for her, pregnancy and parenthood is, imo, the hardest job in the world so, i will become excited even if only by self force. but seeing that picture really did something for me, i dont think ive ever seen her so lit up about something. it elates me in such a way that i am completely devastated over it).

my most sincere apologies to your askbox for being my unwilling fake therapist while im on a break from my real one. do you accept insurance, or offer any sort of flat fee or sliding scale?

Hi! <3

It sounds like you're working through a lot of complicated feelings, but I'm proud of you for being willing to work through them. It's so hard to have a change in a major friendship. Honestly I feel like it's tougher than a breakup in a lot of ways. I really understand what you're going through on a personal level and it's SO hard. I know the feelings of mourning, understanding, confusion, acceptance, even a little excitement (because yay, baby). I'm proud of you for talking all of this through.

As far as payment, I accept pictures of cute animals.

[kissmethroughthebone]

Topic of the day: when to leave a man.

You ever see something a man in your life does and go "WOW, you're disrespectful to that woman?"

Like for example, there's this older man I'm friends with. Lawyer turned comedian. Great fella otherwise, dirty jokes galore, the works. He tries to keep a good balance of offensive humor yet still being respectful and not demeaning to women, doesn't always hit the mark.

Recently he told me that he and his girlfriend are "basically winding down", a.k.a. slowly separating and weaning off of each other... Why, you ask?

Because her mom died (iirc) and he decided that he didn't need to be emotionally involved in all that, at least from the way he described that.

"Too serious and gloomy." He couldn't emotionally be damned to care. She begged and said no no no they should still be a thing, but he's sold on not doing it.

Played with her feelings, they were "friends" for 10 years and dated for another 5.

He bragged that while she said she loved him, he never said it back, since he "has loved so many people already and that never worked out, so I'm not interested in that again".

And she was alright with him, over the years, going out to other countries to fuck women all over the world (he's 70, for context).

And that......... was a lot to learn at a random Korean spot on a Thursday evening, but, okay. I am someone who doesn't find much taboo, but holy fucking shit.

And paired with how maybe last week, he told me that two years ago, he dated a 20-something (why am I adding the "something? She was most likely 20,) in Thailand who he was planning to marry......

The timelines clicked for me this weekend, when I connected those dots.

That was already bad enough, but the context of "I had an open-ish (or she-tolerated-me-cheating) relationship with a woman and was fully gonna marry someone else and leave her in the dark" is.......... gross.

Reminds me of another woman my mother was friends with; chasing after the same guy for 30 years.

Like he's not a catch sweetie, you're finally being used for sex and money after several decades and still mistreated by a man who has happily done the worst to you.

It's so disheartening.

But here's some stories, as palate cleansers:

Over the pandemic, I went on a date with some guy when I was 19. 300 bucks (platonic) for a steak dinner topped with crab meat and some other nice decadent treats, a nice time was had.

The guy, in his 30s/40s, went on a tangent about how his last ex was a woman he dated for 10 years or so, iirc.

She was getting older in the years, wanted a ring. He said he wasn't sure....

That was all she needed to hear.

They broke up, and in less than a year, she had a husband and a baby. The man was devastated, and all the begging he did was for nothing, just like hers was. And clearly not doing well, since his mid life crisis of "I need to take out a 19 year old on a date and pay her 300 bucks to tolerate my company". And we didn't work out. He resorted to posting pictures of himself almost fully naked in gym locker rooms, with old men with their ass out in the back of the photo, hoping it might inspire women to talk to him.

What a catch, hmm? Ew.

At least I got that laptop money I needed.

Another one:

My last serious ex's brother was a pathetic loser in many ways, but ontop of the addictions, mommy issues, and lack of a job, he did once vent to me about how his last girlfriend, he dated for maybe 7 or 10 years, just about?

She was like "We've been together awhile, since we were teens, and I want marriage. Are you down?" He said no, since he wanted to be sure and wait another 3 years to be sure, since that was a huge commitment and he had no way of knowing they would work out....

Ah, so.... you aren't sure you and the girl you've been with for almost a decade, as a romantic couple, would.... work as a committed romantic couple, so you.... want to exist as a romantic couple even longer.... with a fake commitment, but no security? Almost reaching her 30s with no ring or any chance of actual growth?

Same story, she was heartbroken, but left. (She needed to raise her standards anyway, he was a joke.) Guess what? A year or so later, new man, and to this day has TWO babies. And he, meanwhile, is still 31 and JUST now finally got a job, almost two years after having this conversation with me, and is being made by his mother to do chores. Haaaa.

I remember specifically going "Do you think you ever want therapy for what happened, since your mom's divorces traumatized you so much?", and he just outright refused, saying he doesn't need it, and that love is just doomed and not something realistic, and marriage isn't necessary.

....and yet, these women and the men they left for are happy as can be, poster families for the white picket fence American Dream of love, adoration, and success. Hmm.

Seems like only the losers are the ones who have self-fulfilling prophecies, with both genders...

"All men cheat", "There aren't men that do nice things for you like that any more", and on and on and on. It's tiresome!

"Women hate me and I am never gonna find love", says the sex addicted man who refuses to develop social skills or ever risk rejection. And specifically goes for women he considers "low quality" or "tolerable", instead of having enough self respect or self esteem to grow as a person. Ew.

"All men are sleazeballs" says the girl who keeps fucking the men with sticky fingers and patchy scalps that loiter at gas stations, who I would pepper spray for approaching me, rain or shine.

Like, maybe you're not having luck with women since you have no personality or hobbies and see them as sex objects while fearing love, accountability, conversations, AND your mother (or lack thereof!).

Maybe men are good, but you keep screwing the dudes who will pick up the phone in the middle of sex with you to tell the girl they actually want that they aren't up to much.

Have some accountability, jesus. Even I am aware of my own mistakes made, present and past. At least I try.

Anyway leave a nigga in the dust.

They will brag about stringing you along and mock you if you do, and only miss you when you're gone, because they have weird mental issues that prevent them from learning empathy and common sense like we all learned at age ten.

And leave a dude in the dust. What one won't, another will. And ask yourself, "Would my future husband act like this?" I've checked myself multiple times on this, when I've made mistakes.

"Would a future husband be spending all his money on Patreons for Marvel vs Zombies board games and not actually putting in the required effort to keep me interested in him? A future husband would not touch or treat me like this."

Don't have a sealed image in your mind as that one person being a potential husband for you.

They are an avenue you can take, yes, but not your sole path.

(That's a bar, ooooh, yeah.... I hope yall quote me if yall say that anywhere else! Haha!)

Plus, sometimes doors close for a reason. If these women stayed with these pathetic men, then they would've had their patheticness manifest in different ways.

Like you ever leave an ex and see them get ridiculously down bad after losing you?

And think "Ew, what a mistake it was to date that person?", and feel better about leaving them?

Exactly. Better to have a "fuck, why did I date them?", and not a "Fuck, why can't I leave them?" Since there's a rich nigga on Bumble right now waiting for you to text them, ready to take you out in your best beautiful "saving for a nice night out" garments and high end special occasion jewelry to a steak and prix fixe dinner that NIGHT.

Stop waiting for a text back at your apartment with the lights off, scrolling Instagram and refreshing their story endlessly, there's self care to do and people to see! Can be covering up those tear stained eyes with aloe gel and getting dolled up for Fine Rich Nigga Number #3 on your roster!

Think big! Love you, be safe, take care.

[friendlylocalwhumper]

Hey there whump-fellow! I was wondering if you might help me out a bit. I'm writing an original superhero story for Camp NaNo this year and I want the main character's superpower to come with whumpy side-effects, but I am having a hard time coming up with anything even slightly original in that regard. Do you have any suggestions or examples I might play off of? Also, I am going to ask around to a few whump blogs to cast a wider net! Any suggestions as to whom I should ask?

Telekinesis/mind reading with a side effect of migraines. Agony, sensitivity to light/noise. Days-long pain after just using their powers once, which causes the pavlovian response of an awful headache starting up just at the thought of using their powers.

Fire powers that leave burns, thick scars that hurt less and less the more the powers are used but the nerves die more and more, meaning that the whumpee loses feeling in their fingers, then hands, then arms. They will miss out on feeling gentle breezes, soft blankets, holding hands with a friend.

Ice powers that cause frostbite. They can put out a fire, stop an enemy instantly, catch someone who is falling before they die… but the pain afterward is intense, and they always have to weigh the benefits of saving lives versus potentially losing a part of their own body. Or their powers give frostbite to anyone that the ice touches!

Invincibility that lasts for as long as it’s being used, but after the battle is over, in safety, all the damage hits at once. Bruises bloom in purples and blues, cuts spring forth and leave the whumpee scrambling to apply pressure and soak up too much blood before they pass out.

Invisibility/phasing that is strategically useful because the whumpee can sneak or pass through obstacles, but it makes their body have too loose a grasp on reality and their loved ones lose memories of them. They may be able to sneak into a dangerous place and get out unharmed, but their mother or partner will now struggle to recall their name.

A superpower that was desperately wished for in an hour of need, but now every time that it’s used, something precious has to be sacrificed. For the power to be used, an hierloom has to be chosen to disappear from existence, or a limb has to be chosen to never work without pain again, or a comforting memory has to be forgotten. Eventually this would leave the whumpee tougher, less sensitive to loss, but they would also have so much less comfort to come home to. This power would work great as a “gift” from a deity, fae, supernatural creature, or a naively summoned ghost.

Villain-turned-hero who used to use their powers for evil, but now that they are fighting for good, their powers keep trying to turn on them. They used to melt guards’ weapons and locks off vaults, but now that they try to melt doors shut to keep out storms or villains, the molten metal sputters and hits their skin. Or they used to make their nemesis’ armor, tools, or on their most evil day, that nemesis’ most cherished friend disappear; but now after a long hard day of protecting people, when they come home, they find that their partner is missing. They find that their car keys are gone, their fridge, their shoes. Sometimes it is a small thing they won’t even miss, and sometimes it is something so devastating to lose that they fall to their knees and sob.

The superpower of being able to compel that the truth be given after they ask a question. Very useful for a detective, a hero in a corrupt society littered with propaganda, a spy trying to work their way up in an evil organization. But if they ask a question that someone doesn’t know the answer to, it can drive that person mad. If they ask a question someone would rather die than answer, they will give the truth but then be emotionally broken from admitting that aloud. If that person would rather kill than answer…

Any power which has no direct side effects immediately after use, but which is forbidden or horrifying for some reason. Maybe it is the power to bring the dead back to life for just long enough to answer questions, which is morally complicated. Maybe it’s the power to cause intense agony without leaving physical marks. Maybe it’s the ability to travel through time, which causes alternate universes to sprout up and can cause mass deaths, confusion, or chaos in the future. Whatever the power is, it has to be used for some reason, and hiding its use and its consequences leaves the hero afraid, unable to trust anyone, and devastatingly ashamed. This could lead to angsty confessions, betrayal, abandonment, a public execution, banishment, etc.

A very subtle, pleasant power that is embarassingly weak in a time when more power is needed. the ability to numb pain, which feels useless during war when people are bleeding out and losing friends. the ability to see the future in a time when everyone knows what the horrifying outcome will be and no one can stop it. the ability to stop time, but not to move or change what is happening, which just leaves the hero stuck to think, to rely on their own mind to try to solve a terrible problem while seeing everyone frozen in a moment of pain or fear.

I’m not sure about other whump blogs you could ask, but anyone who sees this post is totally welcome to add ideas! The side effects of the superpower don’t have to be direct or ironic, so any random idea could be perfect for the story! No idea is bad!

[summermoonshine]

Wow... Just Wow... You'd think in the post The Last of Us Part II world game developers would think twice before killing off a main character people were yearning to play again. I thought Activision knew better and since they didn't do anything of the sort in MWII, the boys are safe. Gosh, I was so excited, I just wanted to have a good time and see what's new with my buddies from 1-4-1. Fuck this, I'm exhausted

Dear Anon, I've got so much to say to the point I felt the need to distance myself from the fandom immediately after completing the campaign. I am emotionally devastated, and as crazy as it sounds, it was vital to me that AV gave Soap another chance after mw3. Sure, it's a war videogame and deaths are therefore inevitable, but killing the same character twice with the sole hope of making us hate Makarov so as to have more hype for the next COD (which, personally, I doubt will follow this arc since I define it now concluded although there are still unresolved issues) it was a stupid move to make, because by doing so we are hating AV, not Makarov himself.

Furthermore, what is most infuriating is that if the COD family has started to be so lively, creative and enthusiastic again in ways that it wasn't even 20 years ago, it is above all thanks to Saop.

Each of the protagonists in MWII was perfect, earning a special place in our hearts, but it is clear that Soap and the relationship established with Ghost were the catalyst of definitive affection that connected us so deeply to the reboot, leading us to buy even a new game that, more than a campaign, more than a DLC, is a scam:

rushed dialogues, too many characters piled on top of each other, typical warzone game dynamics with such a short duration that each level becomes chaotic etc etc etc... 2, maximum 3 hours later, we find ourselves with a Soap killed, slaughtered and left to die with total dullness and without any emotional focus DURING our game without even receiving a cutscene dedicated to him. And, as if that wasn't enough, by killing him, Ghost was also indirectly killed: for once, perhaps for the first real time, that man - always represented as cold - had found a family and something, someone to hold on to: taking it away from him , they demolished two people with a single shot.

Atrocious.

Treating one of the characters who has practically supported the entire current COD fortune on his shoulders in this way is, for me, a great injustice, as well as a stupid move.

Again, I don't hate Makarov; I hate AV.

Also, I apologize for the outburst, but after 20 years of supporting the COD saga, I never expected them to play so dirty with reboots.

I'll make a separate post when I find the courage, but for now thank you for giving me the opportunity to talk about it openly.

[thewingedwolf]

wait i’m gonna be so annoying and have a final thoughts here

the aesthetic & main romance has just really fallen off. they are incapable of sticking the landing in the third act & while they still have some good looks, i think there’s a certain level of playing it too safe (see Kate’s wardrobe!!!!!) and also just, bizarre makeup choices that were a bit distracting.

they also just don’t know how to keep a character waiting for their romance while building that character up over several arcs. kind of a bad trait to have for a tv show?? 😭😭 like, i love them with all my heart, but everyone has said that eloise, benedict, & colin have felt so confused at points as characters, like the writers didn’t know where to go with them. they’re just waiting for their romance instead of like, growing.

Colin was the male lead what do we even know about him beyond his inability to interact with a woman without projecting onto her.

once again the milfs outsold, agatha and violet are the best thing about this series and i don’t care how much i like violet’s lil thing with agatha’s brother, i want those two gossipy old milfs to kiss sloppy style.

it’s too goddamn short, i think this wasn’t a problem in s1 or qc bc it’s the First season so there’s not as many characters to follow but they keep introducing all these other characters that take space away from a) The Main Couple and b) The Bridgertons As A Family, and those are the draws of the series!! it’s too much for only 8 episodes, what happened to 12-18 episodes for high budget or cable shows, if they had these people on like Normal tv contracts they wouldn’t have such a hard time scheduling and have these long ass waits between seasons Either, im tired of this and i blame the duffer brothers and i want those two nerds hunted for sport.

also hyacinth and gregory are getting SO OLD OMG HURRY UP 😭😭😭

i think they did a better job this season with folding the siblings in together but it feels disjointed from s2. anthony & kate specifically feel very oddly thrown in there and idgi. i loved seeing the bridgertons using calling times as an excuse for Group Hangs, and i loved the way John pointed this out to Francesca. i liked that the ending with benedict where he’s realizing he’s the oldest still left at home with two like, toddler siblings and feeling unhappy with it, but bc they struggle with incorporating all the siblings together, we really lose that thread from last season between him & anthony that could have given benedict a way to explore his sexuality in a slutty way while also giving anthony something to do & not drop the art school thing. however, this is all detailed and would take a lot of time and they only have eight episodes. why. do 13-18 or im gonna start sending death threats to ceos. for legal reasons that’s a joke haha.

i do think in the few kathony scenes we got, they nailed the dynamic that she is the world’s most put upon eldest daughterson and he needs to be institutionalized. pls put jonathan bailey and simone ashley in another thing together so i can see them together again. this can’t be the end. be the next tom hanks and meg ryan please. he george clooney and julia roberts. i’m on my knees here.

am i allowed to say i’m glad we got a long devirginizing scene like in s1 & qc but also we did not see Nearly enough of those two fucking. more than kathony but imo still not on the level of the other two. also you could write an essay here about the sex politics of this show. i will refrain and say Is This Not The Pervert’s Show?? Can we Please get better pandering????

i think no one can handle a big cast like shonda not even her hand picked teams. qc handled having a host of characters so much better. early grey’s is really great at this. htgawm is good at this. u can tell what season she was really In That Writer’s Room. shonda pls get back in the writer’s room i need something as emotionally devastating as “meredith i’m so sorry” “you must be the woman whose screwing my husband” i need sexy like the “teach me” scene but with the freedom of streaming to get freaky with it, this cast WANTS to deliver but netflix & these writers are NOT up to the challenge!!!

i love bi benedict. even if nothing else comes of this i didn’t think they’d genuinely have benedict get intimate with and acknowledge being attracted to a man. genuinely really jazzed about that. but they Have said they want to explore his ~fluidity more and there’s so many scenarios that could be, i have no idea what the hell they mean by that askksjd. crossdressing sophie, genderbent to solomon, a trans sophie/solomon of some persuasion, im excited to see where they go!

BI FRANCESCA. MICHAELA STIRLING. PEOPLE ARE HATING BUT YOU HAVE MY ATTENTION. esp bc you could do a michaela that has like, resigned herself to a life of never feeling love only to fall in love At Her Cousin’s Wedding so well with this. these three, michaela francesca john, are gonna break my HEART i’m READY for it!

i want the resolution to one of the gay couples to include brimsley & reynolds encouraging charlotte to cure society of homophobia somehow. if we can do this with racism we can do it with homophobia. why the hell not.

listen to me. listen closely. are you listening. if we don’t get lesbian eloise what are we even fucking doing here. enough fucking around. give me a real sign this is all going somewhere. i am no longer asking.

[gemsofgreece]

https://dasarxeio.com/2023/08/28/128302/

Did you see this article? I am so devastated by the destruction that has happened in Dadia. It's so horrible a part of me cannot even process it :((

You know, I have stopped talking about this because it affects me. It gets to my well-being. On one hand the pain is so great, on the other hand I feel like we should be punished for all our political choices, all our problematic mindsets and indifference and chaotic selfish attitude and lack of organisation and foresight and poor system of justice that count decades at this point. We need the punishment until the lesson gets learned. At the same time, if I think about it, my eyes water about the forest and the animals and all the people living near it or holding it close to their hearts.

The national woodland of Dadia has been burning for 13 days now. The professor of forest studies in the Aristotle University of Thessaloniki has warned that the forest will need 100-150 years to return to its original form, so none of us will live to see it. Some won't see it again like they once did and the rest won't ever see what it was like. Dadia was one of Europe's most important ecosystems, being home to many endangered bird species, especially super rare vultures. We have no idea what happened to them. Either they are dead or they will never return.

Dadia was the pride of the region of Evros. It's gone. Estimations are that 150,000 hectares are gone and we keep going. The fire has been characterised as officially the worst fire in the history of the European Union.

And we generally lose 75,000 hectares every year, most of the animals living in them and 9 people on average. Where is this gonna go? We're not a big country. Not that being a big country would make this better in any way but still. This is not an one time thing. This has become systemic at this point and nobody does anything about it. We can not afford it financially, environmentally, emotionally, mentally. We can't.

And again. 90% OF IT IS NOT DUE TO CLIMATE CHANGE. IT'S EITHER ORGANISED CRIME OR WIDE INDEPENDENT CRIMINAL ACTIVITY. It is getting confirmed and proved again and again. At this point it is even admitted by the Greek government. Dadia in particular was targeted last year as well. Climate change can't always happen in Dadia every year, the northernmost and thus a humid and cold region compared to the average of the country!!!!

And yet the Greek state sits and watches. We must always remember that the Greek state for some reason dismantled the Firefighting sector of the Forest Service in the 90s and has made the standard city firefighting service responsible for forest fires. We are the only country with flammable ecosystems like ours that does this globally. And despite what happens every year, we do not correct this.

And you know the most maddening stuff. We have a lot of personell and we also spend more money than the average for the firefighting expenditures!!!!!!!!!!!! About 1.5 billion every year and we are the worst at it in Europe. Like... I can't make coherent thoughts anymore.

I can't talk about this more right now, I am sorry. Nothing I can say will make any difference anyway. The only thing I can hope and pray for is that speculations and predictions will prove to be pessimistic as nature is always so much stronger and resourceful than we are.

[raineandsky]

~Fancy Schmancy~

(this is a piece i co-wrote with @heroes-villains-side-blog, go here to read part 2!)

To my dearest beloathed,

What a dishonour it was to receive your last letter. It upsets me greatly to have to hear of your pathetic attempts to defeat me in my own territory. You always fail though, so I suppose there is some delight in knowing you are awful at the game you started.

I am so terribly sorry I have not been able to return your deplorable attempts to outdo me recently. I have been quite busy myself doing things I am good at, such as being better than you. I must apologise for my lack of engagement recently – I have been engaged in vigorous party planning, and myself and some friends will be hosting an event you would surely be an embarrassment to. Once it is over, I promise I will return your desperate calls for attention and you will once again find yourself physically, intellectually, and emotionally devastated.

Wait for me, darling!

Worst regards,

Hero xoxo

Villain screwed up the paper with a scoff. They’d been looking at the letter for longer than they’d be willing to admit, slowly deciphering the illegible flouncy lettering and holding themself back from tearing it to shreds. Ugh, Hero was a snobbish loser.

They tossed the ball in the general direction of the bin, flopping down at their desk with a sigh. Maybe they weren’t as posh as Hero was, but so what? They thought they were so good just because they had a giant house and loads of money and tons of friends and cars and food and parties—

Hold on a second.

Villain dived for the bin before realising their aim was massively off, scooping the crumpled paper off the floor under the table instead. They smoothed it out against the desk, eyes carefully tracing over the cursive as a plan formulated in their head like a puzzle suddenly fitting all its pieces together. 

Myself and some friends will be hosting an event you would surely be an embarrassment to. 

This was basically an invitation. Hero thought they’d be an embarrassment? The only person embarrassed would be Hero. And by god, they were going to embarrass them in front of everyone.

-

A new guest entered the hall, and Hero narrowed their eyes at them suspiciously. At first glance their attire fit right into the party, almost regal in nature, but it didn’t take much effort for them to see right through it at the lies it hid. 

The fur lining their cloak was discoloured and fake, the jewellery adorning their neck a poor imitation of gold. Even when they graciously took a glass of wine from a waiter, their hand lacked the natural elegance of a true aristocrat. Even from here, it was obvious who they were looking at.

There was no way Villain was fooling anyone. Especially not now since they had just added paprika to their dish of roasted honey eggs cooked by the talented Chef Fanci Pants, as indicated by their initials on each dish. Everyone knows the chef is allergic to paprika so to use it on one of their dishes is to disrespect the chef, the host, and the food itself!

As per rule of high society, the hosts had to go and make small-talk with all the new guests. And it was Hero's turn. 

Finishing their glass of punch so that they could embarrass Villain by not having a drink while they were drinking — ah ha! That would show them! — they made their way to their uninvited guest. 

"Good morrow, Villain," they said without an hors d'oeuvre or glass in their perfectly manicured hand, clasping their hands in front of them like they were speaking to a stableboy. They smiled at the thought of everyone gasping in their mind at their host's breach of etiquette, setting the tone for the rest of the party if they were lucky. 

"Hi, Hero. What's up?" Villain didn't even attempt to give their host the dignity of eye contact, too busy stuffing the expensive gourmet cuisine into a bag under the table in such a way that it was only visible to Hero and no one else. Hero watched them with an air of distaste, making note of the rapidly depleting tower of canapes they had spent so long building earlier.

“Dare I even indulge you to inquire about the reason for your visit?” The question is met with a delighted grin, and some part of them regrets asking at all.

“No reason. Just thought I’d come see how the other half lives,” Villain tells them nonchalantly. They give one of the tiny snacks a once-over before shoving it rather ungracefully into their mouth. “Oh, wow, that’s really good. Send your chef my regards, or whatever the phrase is.”

“Compliments to the chef,” Hero corrects flatly. “Anyhow, I fear you may be a little out of your depth here, Villain. I imagine you shall find yourself rather puzzled by this high a society.”

"Oh, that's no problem," Villain had resorted to speaking with their mouth full. 

How uncouth. Hero had half a mind to punch their jaw right now. But they would have to resort to a hard smile and narrowed eyes for now, and hope Villain would put themselves out of everyone's misery, including their own. 

"No problem at all. I rather enjoy watching you high-folk peacock about. See, that's why I brought my hat, do you like it?" 

It was a large hat, largest in the room by far and too big for Villain's outfit. It had multiple peacock feathers, white peacock feathers actually — they were fake, of course, there was no way Villain could afford even the most basic of free-range peacock feathers, let alone rare white ones, but an interesting choice they had made nonetheless.

"That's quite the… hat… you have."

"Thank you! Made it myself! Had to make a statement, y'know?" 

"Statement?" Hero had to bring their voice back down to a polite level. They nodded to the few guests who had turned around and resumed their fake smile and hushed tone, "What statement are you going for? All I can see is a pompous hat too big for the wearer, let alone this party. Not to mention that you're wearing fur with feathers, fake fur and fake feathers, but fur and feathers nonetheless! You're a walking fashion faux-pas!"

"Why, thank you! Exactly what I was going for," they beamed. Hero couldn't believe Villain. They did this in purpose? Did they not care about their image and reputation at all? What were they playing at? Why would Villain embarrass themselves at Hero's party — wait. 

"You're here to embarrass me and ruin my party, aren't you?"

"Exact-amundo, Mx Host! I learnt all about your hoity-toity high-society etiquette just to break every unspoken rule at your party!" 

"How dare you?" 

"I dared quite easily, actually. Look, I've already left your buffet table lacking of any real food and you too distracted to ask the wait staff to come with more." 

"You fiend! I'll get you for this! I'll get you —" 

"— you'll only get me if I let you… which I won't." 

Hero had had enough! They couldn't waste a second with this not-guest any longer. They picked up an empty glass and were just about to raise it with two olives and an orange slice — how it had been decided the wait staff would be contacted — when Villain very loudly proclaimed:

"Oh, Thank YOU, Hero! I am FAMISHED! Now, let me tell you, in detail, of the history of the humble clown nose. I'm sure, being the good host that you are, you would never leave one of your guests in the midst of a conversation that you yourself asked for. And, why yes, I do like my hat and I have brought similar hats for everyone at the party so we can all have a hat party — how fun!"

Hero glanced at the crowds of people around them, their eyes burning into them with curiosity at Villain’s announcement. They could only watch with barely restrained contempt as the Villain dumped a bag on the floor at their feet, offering blatant make-shift hats to anyone unfortunate to stand close enough. A few people humoured them, taking whatever they were offered and showing them to their friends under obvious pompous scrutiny, and Hero decided they’d not let this go any further than it already had.

They looped a hand under Villain’s arm, dragging them away from the huddle they were forming. They both watched — with varying degrees of satisfaction and disappointment — as others gathered to pull strange assortments of headwear out, some of them laughing together lightly as they turned cheap ribbons and poor weaving in their hands.

“Seems like I’m making your party better,” Villain said eventually, a victorious smile on their face. “Everyone’s having a great time with me, see?”

“No, Villain, they’re having a great time because they’re laughing at you.” Hero sighed as their smile faltered slightly, a slight knit in their brows forming at the words. “You’re embarrassing me, sure, but purposely being out of place in a world like this is like throwing yourself to the sharks.”

“Sharks are pretty nice, actually.” It was a last-ditch effort at a defence, but their voice was quiet, laced with uncertainty as their eyes drifted to the crowd growing nearby. “You don’t like the hats? I have a horse outside with a green mane for optimum humiliation.”

“I understand that you’re trying to make me look like I invited someone stupid and frankly shameless to a posh party—” Villain huffed amusedly at that. “— but in the end the only person you’re really embarrassing is yourself. Inviting someone foolish is a temporary setback, but being an idiot is permanent.”

There was silence for a second before Villain pointed a finger in their face, laughing shortly like they’d figured something out. “You are embarrassed!” they declared proudly. “You’re trying to make me leave by pretending I’m embarrassed, but it’s you!”

“Of course, I’m embarrassed, you buffoon! How could I not? There’s barely anything interesting at these ridiculous parties and then you waltz in with your garish hat, your faux-tailored costume, and your knowledge of every social rule and how to break them — you- you- you just promised everyone a topic of conversation for the next decade! At my expense!” they finally took the time to breathe, poorly, they couldn’t manage more than a series of few shallow breaths before they stopped those too. 

“Hey, hey. Why are you so tensed up about this? You’re the one who’s always so mean and cruel. I was just giving you a taste of your own medicine.” 

“That’s just a persona, you dolt! I have to be mean to keep up my reputation. I have to act cruel to fit in. You wouldn’t understand,” they pointed a finger, but then it went limp as they stared out into nowhere. “And there’s no point even explaining anything to you because I'll be laughed at and shunned at every social gathering for the rest of time. My reputation is ruined. My friends are most definitely saving their faces by laughing at me right now. I’ve lost everything.”

(Part 2)

[ourladyofomega]

Before writing this final post of 2023, I was undecided of how good of a poker hand I’d end up with. ‘21 and ‘22 left no doubt what I finished with. This year, all the good and bad have scattered all over the place like chips spread across the roulette table - but we don’t usually play that game here, do we? No, we don’t. This year added on both the good and bad on top of the previous years before it - in even wider disparity.

So, where do we start?

The bad hit a little harder than it did last year. The customers were at their nastiest, competitive, and most egotistical. Having a verbally and emotionally abusive sales manager who saw fit to humiliate me in front of co-workers and literally yell at me for anything little reason he could didn’t help any. Fighting through under-staffing, wasted potential, not getting assistance when it really mattered, and making more mistakes and fuck-ups than ever made for a highly controversial final year at physical retail.

I pulled the plug on people I once considered “friends” who kept me on read when I asked for help, ghosted me during conversations, left me hanging all by myself as their comrades pretended I didn’t exist, and didn’t care about specific situations I had involving them. The spicy redheaded devil who played apologist for her closest friends - the same “friends” in the past who took me for everything they could and left a thick irreplaceable poison that’s still flowing in me. Or worse, unexpectedly running into former enablist co-workers, narcissistic managers, and manipulative college chads showing their obvious “oh-my-god!” faces and wanting to catch up with me. I told them to fuck right off forever - and never to speak to me again.

Luckily, I didn’t have as many hard pills to swallow like I used to. But, the sometimes unavoidable news of potentials’ long-suffering loneliness ending with exciting one-night stands, abrupt t.m.i., and their eye-opening bucket list to-do’s (that’d make Sasha Grey look like a straight-A honor student) made it a disappointing no-dice situation. Then, the deeper depressive spells of anxiety and hopelessness. The constant reminder of how rude, childish, and unnecessarily rude other people are around me. The change of plans, the blown calls of missing out on some holidays, or dropping the ball on attending some major shows (Alice Cooper headlining with Rob Zombie, Ministry, and Filter for one). The worst news came unexpectedly in late September when my sis- was dealt the Ace Of Spades and died in her sleep from complications of multiple sclerosis. I lost a major childhood component in her, and that visit to Bay Ridge will resonate with me for a long time.

Yes. This year’s losses were just more frequent and came at a slightly heavier cost. (Thankfully, not coming down to another personal devastation.) But, with every loss came with a win. And, wow, did these wins hit.

A brand new pinball arcade opened up in Patchogue to my total surprise, once again giving me a new portal in revisiting my Atari / Nintendo youth and forget my daily ills. It was there when I placed 3rd at their 4th of July tournament. The retro video arcade at the shopping center near me still offered a substantial modicum of hours-long fun until I was sick of it.

Though I lost my sister, I had some super essential moments with both of my families from Coney- and Staten Island respectively. I just celebrated an amazing Christmas over Italian foods, Secret Santas, gift-trades, and children screaming in eardrum-rattling unison; all ending with $100.00 cash-in-hand from my uncle, and a drive through the Belt Parkway and Brooklyn-Battery Tunnel to the train ride home to Penn Station. Fighting through the sluggish three-hour Friday rush-hour drive made getting to my cousin’s engagement party totally worth it; decorated with loud generic dee-jay standards, catching up under clear starry night skies, and having a near two-hour AM night-drive home over the Verrazzano Bridge and through the Brooklyn / Queens / Long Island Expressway.

I’ve attended some amazing shows in the past, but nothing would ever compare in experiencing Skinny Puppy’s final tours. I took no chances getting tickets and, holy Mother Mary, I made the right call. I would’ve never imagined meeting up with five other mutuals (some following me for years) in my hometown of New York City to witness industrial history. The best? Shaking hands with God Ministry’s Paul Barker himself; The Hero of All Heroes. He signed my copy of The Eternal Present as I almost died before him at the merch- table. I also attended Cold Waves XI and scratched Front Line Assembly off the must-see list, with visions of Hospital Productions’ 20th returning when I witnessed Orphx and Justin Broadrick a second time.

Then, my position. My final two months at my location were the toughest, meanest, and most unforgiving I’d ever put myself through. I endured so much that something had to be done because I knew I deserved better and didn’t want to live like this. So, I did a massive favor to myself. After 10 years with the company, I celebrated by getting an in-home position for virtual sales. I left all the massive amounts of stress behind and still stayed with the company while keeping my 401K, medical, and time-off in the process. Goodbye and good riddance to physical retail and the toxic undesirables that inhabit it…never to visit it again.

As an added bonus, I learned a lot more about myself and became the person I always wanted to be. I was fortunate in having the right people who changed it all and their inexplicable energy made me block those challenging persistent feelings of hollowness and despair. I taught myself to drop my guard, stop fearing the worst that could happen, and start putting my trust in people as nothing was at stake. That paid off in multitudes. I felt things I couldn’t before, because they allowed me to open up without persecuting or vilifying me for it.

I had more moments where I did great things for great people because they gave me nice ideas that were out-of-the-ordinary. Cakeday and Christmas boxes full of CDs, cassettes, and other fun stuff were exchanged which left two people wowed and many others in critical condition. Plenty of night-time phone calls were had about everything and nothing important at all, or the cries of concern that made me go all-in to help the other because there’s no taking chances. Most importantly: reciprocation, saying it right from the heart, a giving what people really want because you feel it and it’s the right thing to do.

**********

Now, what’s in the cards for next year?

I plan to revisit New York City more frequently. To start, I’m coming back to my childhood, and that all in Brooklyn. The Tokeneke, Bath Ave., Shore Road Park, Luna Park, and ultimately Borough Park where it all began. I’m even contemplating a mini-record store victory tour next year - all city. Long Island locales sit out this time as select Brooklyn and Manhattan stops better get ready for me and accept my hard-earned money. This would be Lina Romay-proportions of music porn if this happens.

As for everything else Omega, there’s no signs of slowing down as my radio show started Year 12. Its previous year had almost no bonus broadcasts from start to finish, but the current stockpile of artists and sounds across the board means I’m ready to unload when asked. The months-long process of digitizing my entire personal cassette dub library has finally been completed, which means I’ll have more time to dive into all my records, tapes, and discs that I purchased over the years that I've yet listened to, but now will.

Which reminds me:

Most of you know that I maintained a music -blr here: Ω+. I became an open-book and allowed my visitors, followers, mutuals, and even passers-by a peek into my personal life, listening, and purchasing habits. To this day, I still believe there’s no other extensive music blog like it here. It felt great posting sounds, artists, and releases no one else even thought or considered. I had so much fun with it and became one of the most exciting projects I ever done. Life-changing, even. Now, I no longer have the time or energy to keep up with sizeable, timely write-ups while staying on top of infinite music finds and dealing with Real-Life Syndrome.

I decided that it’s time to end it after 10 years of maintaining it.

However, I didn’t want to stop doing what still fascinates me. I stepped back, and realized that I can do it differently. I’m happy to say that I’m starting all over again and re-building it as Omega Remix (ΩRMX), a simpler, more stripped-down version of the original retaining the personal seasonal mixtapes, Omega WUSB playlists, best-of lists, personal posts, and more. No more numbered headers, no more aesthetic issues. It’ll be quicker and easier to do what keeps me going and in touch with anyone interested with what I’m listening to.

**********

I appreciate and thank (tremendously) everyone who joined up with me at a show, posted music finds, kept in touch, helped out, or did something nice for me this year. You know who you are. For any and all who liked, followed, and supported all things Omega, you’re also appreciated. Each and every one of you. Here's hoping we're still alive and dodge a massive authoritarian bullet by this year's end.

See you all in ‘24.

Winning hand: Aces full house over Deuces.

[sssammich]

for the ask game!!! is it too greedy to ask for 1, 5, 8? :D thank you!

HELLO

sorry these are late i was uh basically playing video games all of last night and therefore did not touch tumblr again until now haha never too greedy here we go

What themes would you like to write about that you feel don’t get explored very often?

oh boy i have been itching to write lost love or just crossed paths and open endings because that's so interesting to me but i also can't decide if i'm emotionally ready to devastate myself. but i just really wanna get into it. like contained relationships that have a beginning and end, but that it still counts as love. i'm a happy ending kinda gal so this feels at odds for me in some ways.

5. Would you rather write a happy ending that soothes the soul or a tragic ending that hurts the heart?

lol speaking of! my default and regular MO is truly just writing happy endings. i am firmly in the camp of if they are suffering throughout the story then it needs to have been a worthy catharsis otherwise i'm just miserable. the thing is that these stories are for me, myself, and i about 75% of the time so i'm looking forward to a happy ending when i write because that's what i wanna read from me

8. Favorite dialogue in your wip? (If asked more than once, respond with a new piece each time)

hmmmm i am in the middle of writing this swan queen fic so this is the part that i am liking so far. i've put it under the cut

fic ask meme

“You gave Emma your permission to leave?” 

He offers her a small smile. “Yeah.” 

“Wh—” she pauses, tries to gather her thoughts. “Henry, sweetheart, why would you do that?”

He shrugs, the lift of his shoulders so much like his birth mother. “She hasn’t been very happy for a long time, Mom.” 

“What are you saying?” 

“She just…I think she just wants to find her place in the world. And I don’t think I’d be a very good son if I didn’t support her.” 

“And you’re okay with her leaving?” 

“I’m leaving. Mom, she’ll be back. She loves us too much to leave for good. But I think she just wants to move on.” 

“Move on from what?” 

Henry stands and puts his bowl in the sink and turns the water on before quickly rinsing it. Regina watches helplessly as she stares up at her son, this time taller than her before he puts his arms around her—a now uncommon occurrence. 

“I love you, Mom. I just want you to be happy. I want both of you to be happy. Even if it’s with other people.” 

[consultingzoologist]

Infected are dying, the news says.

Bodies slumping to the ground, curling into a foetal position, the human hosts finally at rest. The fungus continuing to grow, forming a silhouette of the old host when the body finally crumbles into the embrace of the earth, fungal cups and caps and oddest of all, spires reaching towards the sky. Like how humans reached for the stars before she was born.

The world is changing once again. Ellie talks to the fungus in her brain.

One day it talks back.

Hello everyone I am back on my bullshit. Do you like themes of horror and grief and nature and transformation? Did stories like Annihilation make you question everything and stare at the wall for a few hours? Do you think there's potential for The Last of Us Part 2 to be emotionally devastating but in a different way to how it currently goes? Check this out!

[snarky-bee]

14, 16, 20 for moxie!!

moxie hours have begun again.

14. How does your OC want to be seen by other characters? Generally, wants to be seen as a sort of unstoppable force - MOXIE. you want x done? great, lets do it. in fact im ready to go do it right fucking now. down to clown at any given time.

i think also moxie wants to be seen as the ride or die type. loyal, committed. would not sell you out for a cornchip (once youre her friend of course. otherwise bets are off). she tries quite hard to be seen as innocent and generally disarming too

16. What is your OC's pain tolerance like?

this is interesting given... whats recently happened in game (ouch oof my magically suppressed grief is back). its funny how having such a long period of happy makes the misfortune all the more devastating. Emotionally? fucking LOW these days.

physically? fucking LOW. getting into combat and nearly dying sure was an event. shes lived a very gentle life most of the time. pain is not something shes become accustomed to. if she gets fucking stabbed shes not gonna be all chill guy "tis a flesh wound" about it. arrows? oh my gods i am BLEEDING THIS IS AN EMERGENCY. She used to be a beekeeper and you BET she went running to Ayla after any single bee sting all in all she is a pink squish. must protect

20. Does your OC have a tendency to get jealous? If so, how does this manifest? No, not really. Maybe about some things. She's definitely jealous about Oak's life and their family for instance, but she's honestly mature enough about this particular emotion to simply accept that she didn't get so lucky there. Though that's really more envy than jealousy so I suppose to circle back, no.

She just spent the last 10+ years in basically a hippy farming commune and 1000% could have ended up in a polycule at some point if life continued on that way. Even marrying Ayla was a show of devotion and promise and not at all in the sense of "you're mine and no one else's"

[erigold13261]

Assuming 1010 stay with their SOs for years… what would they do if their SOs pass away? (I am guessing 1010 as robots would live longer than their SOs)

Short answer is:

-Rin: Never tries to love again and hold their relationship with Zuke in a very high regard. This feeling stops it from every trying to form another romantic relationship again.

-Purl: Already accepted that their partners are going to die before they have actually died. Once they do, they bottle up all their emotions and try to move on as if nothing happened only to break down in horrible, extreme ways all alone. Uses bad coping mechanisms like drugs and sex to forget the love they once had while rejecting any kind of meaningful relationship to avoid this pain again.

-Zimelu: Takes a long time to grieve and needs basically a decade before being open to the idea of dating again. Not going out of her way to date, but by that point if something happens she won't try to stop herself from loving again.

-Haym: Bottles up his emotions in order to help his partners. Wants to feel helpful as a way to lessen the pain they feel. Is open to dating again at some point. Probably the fasted to get into a new relationship (other than Purl whose new "relationship" are all basically one night stands).

-Eloni: Ends up pulling away from the partners they have to get more familial support. Doesn't even realize he is neglecting his partner because of the pain he is in. The family helps both him and his partner(s). Either ends up going back to their partner, or is able to get into a new relationship, but it will take a while.

Long answer:

Well right off the bat, I'm gonna say that Purl is the only 1010 that has actually thought of this and put time into this thought process. They are the only one to really take it seriously that 1010 is most likely going to outlive their SOs, which is why Purl was the last to even get a SO because their main belief is basically "why even try to love when they are going to die and the pain will be worse in the end?" or something along those lines.

So Purl is already preparing themself for when everyone around them, not just their SOs, ends up dying. Once West or Cyril pass (even Joust which is a complicated relationship that Purl has with him), Purl is probably just going to shut down emotionally, bottle up their emotions, and just push forward in a very unhealthy way. Their main coping mechanism is just to run away from their feelings, so to an outsider it looks like Purl never even cared about their SO and just moved on. On the inside though they are in so much pain but refuse to ever let it out until they probably can't hold it in anymore. Even then they will just have an absolute breakdown in their room and then hide that away until they can't hold it in again later on.

Plus, while all of this is going on, they would still be doing self destructive behaviours. Especially using substances or basically giving their body away to strangers. Honestly, they would become more of a whore after this to try and forget about their relationship as much as they can. Though obviously trying to avoid any kind of real connection with whoever they are sleeping with.

All the rest of 1010 either haven't thought of death as a possibility, or have been trying to push the thought away to not think about it at all. I would say that Rin and Eloni are the ones to push it away as much as possible as the two of them are very much anxious in their own ways about death and the end.

Rin, if its SO died (whether it be Zuke or anyone else it falls in love with, same with the other 1010s, they might not all be with their current SOs in like 20 years), then it would be devastated. Considering that Rin is a very romance heavy bot, and puts a LOT of emphasis on basically "true love" or like finding "the one" that I can see it never fully getting over Zuke or dating again. I'm sure Rin could find someone to love just as much, but its not really open to that idea. Basically I can see it becoming like Neon J, where that love of a past relationship will always be at the forefront and never truly go away (though obviously Rin and Zuke's relationship is much different from J and Martha's).

Zimelu, Haym, and Eloni are all three that are similar in their aftermaths where I can see each of them going through a time of mourning and then some day trying to date again. Especially Haym and Eloni because them being poly potentially allows them to have another partner that will share in their grief and help them get over/come to terms the loss of their SOs in a way that friends and family cannot. It would be easier (still difficult though) for them to move on and try to find someone new.

Zimelu I can see as, like I said, taking a very long time to process her grief, but she does end up getting with someone new. Probably a very long time after the death of her SO though. Depending on how long 1010 actually can survive given how I am thinking of magic works for robots, then possibly a decade or so after Zimelu's SO dies would she be willing to try again. And even then, she wouldn't be looking for a new love like Haym and Eloni might, she would have to have it be very natural.

Haym and Eloni keep their loves in their heart, but also help their other partners (or I guess in Haym's case, he would be helping Eve if he is still in a relationship with her and May, and May was the one who died since technically he and Eve are not dating). In the case of Haym and Eve, the two would stop dating but would remain friends and help each other process stuff. If it was a different group of people for Haym, depending if he was dating the other person(s) or not means he either leans into them more or will try to just help them out in their grief. Honestly, Haym probably bottles his emotions up a lot and does more to help his other partners while ignoring his own feelings, trying to feel helpful as a coping mechanism for his loss.

Eloni on the other hand isn't going to find a partner quickly. First, because it is hard for them to find someone wanting a QPR, secondly, because they would be in a lot of pain and probably a crying mess. Very over emotional and not knowing how to really deal with this. Unfortunately, I kinda see her as drawing away from their other partner(s) and clinging to family during this time. This would leave his partner(s) in a bit of isolation, but the rest of 1010 (and possibly Neon if he is still around) would do their best to help both Eloni and his partner(s).

Not doing Dew, Carna, or Maragold because 1). they are all minors and I haven't thought of them in any serious relationship as they get older yet, and 2). they are technically not part of 1010 which is what you asked for.

[imakemywings]

i am once again having a turgonmoment and was struck with a thought, what do you think would happen if it was turgon who fell instead of elenwe? do you think the repercussions would be more grave (not to say elenwe's death didn't but i really wanted her death to haunt the narrative since it felt like turgon was the only one grieving her (or its just me lol))? would that mean it would be hard to mend the rift between the two houses? despite fanon assumptions, i always view fingon and turgon to be close, and the journey would've made fingon and finrod close too so i thought maybe their anger wouldn't disappear for a long time. elenwe could still build gondolin and be king he. idk i just like to imagine it.

EDIT: I'm so sorry, I started a response the same day I got this ask and then promptly forgot it in my drafts OTL

This is such an interesting question and actually I've read a fic with this premise! (According to that fic, the answer is : fall in love with his sister)

Elenwe, like many of the women in Silm, gets only a passing mention. She's mostly remembered because Idril is there and so we know mom must exist somewhere in the past. I think you have a lot of latitude to decide what exactly her role in the family and among the Noldor more broadly was before her death and therefore what the implications of her death were. Certainly I could imagine it being a significant jolt to the rest of the Finweans, depending on how early on in the trip you imagine she dies. She's the only Finwean who does, so if that happened early on, it was probably a flashing sign to them about how serious the danger here is. If you imagine it happened later, when they had learned more about the Helcaraxe, you can just imagine the guilt involved when they feel they should have known about whatever danger caused her death (I imagine she and a scouting/hunting troop got caught in a blizzard and blown off course away from the rest of the Elves).

ANYWAY...assuming she lives and Turgon dies.

Some of this will depend on how you view the Elven rules of succession. Turgon is a second son, which means his loss is not politically as devastating to Fingolfin as Fingon's would be, but I still like to imagine the family was close, so emotionally, the impact is significant. Silm tells us that Turgon and Fingon shared a lot of similarities, so I can imagine Fingon being deeply impacted, and I will firmly stand behind "Turgon is Aredhel's favorite brother" so there, too, a lot of grief. And for Fingolfin who's already left Anaire behind (and who will later lose Argon as soon as they set foot in Middle-earth)...Not that I think they didn't grieve Elenwe, but I do think it would hit harder with your own brother/son.

I 100% agree with you about Finrod and Fingon becoming close on the Helcaraxe, and we know that Finrod and Turgon were very close (BFFs imo) so they would have a lot of shared grief about this. Maybe they would even become closer to Elenwe out of it.

I do feel like Fingon might be more inclined to hold a grudge if it was his own brother who had died on the Helcaraxe. I imagine he would still see the need for reconciliation among the Noldor for their survival, but would he like it? Probably not. He's notably "fiery of heart" and I just don't feel like the death of his brother is something he'd get over easily.

Also, frankly salivating over the idea of Elenwe as queen of Gondolin and Idril as her heir. Establishing the last bastion of Elves against the great Enemy IS an effective use of girl power! (As is executing her sister-in-law's shithead abusive husband!)

Turgon continuing to haunt the narrative through Idril and later Earendil who brings about Melkor's downfall...tasty.

[erinjoseywilliams]

Day eight of my twelve days of Patrick Dean. @patrickdeancomics

Southern Cultures - a magazine published by University of North Carolina - approached me and Robert Newsome last year about wanting to feature an article about Patrick in their special issue on disability. Linked below is the article Robert wrote along with some of Patrick’s early eye gaze art I provided - art he drew using an adaptive device and his eye movements once his hands could no longer move to draw. The article was published a year ago this week. I’m sure a lot of you saw it when it first came out

My part in providing them the art they requested was emotionally excruciating but something that needed to be done in order to honor Patrick, his art, and his journey. The files were saved in a separate account I hadn’t looked at since before he died that included all his phenomenal eye gaze art as well as photos and other files he created from his AAC device (augmentative and alternative communication device).

The location included, among other tender images and documents, the last piece of art he ever created, the one he showed only me (as far as I am aware) and told me with such pain in his eyes that he just couldn’t make it work anymore. He no longer had sufficient control of the last part of his body he could leverage to make art. That was the closest I heard him come to saying anything that sounded like “It’s over. I am done.”

This turned out to be about a week or two before he died. As a storyteller, I am fighting the urge to be more accurate with that timeline, but this would involve opening the file to check the date stamp on the drawing. My heart would then walk right back into the room with him in that devastating moment. Once was more than enough. Y’all just need to know that Patrick kept making art right up until he absolutely couldn’t, and that is a beautiful and devastating thing.

https://www.southerncultures.org/article/drawing-all-over-again/