#I am not one of those lesbians who’s like oh I’m not attracted to men but I can see when men are good looking

[beloved-child-of-the-house]

Yknow when you’re talking about some man to one of your straight friends and you offhandedly say he’s handsome (you’re in a generous mood or you want to be polite) and she makes a scrunched up disgusted face or laughs at you. LISTEN no!! I was being POLITE I am a LESBIAN I do not even know what you people are LOOKING for it is not fair for you to hold this against me!!!

[foundfamilynonsense]

Sometimes I just want to sit down and say, like… Gay men, lesbian women, and straight people. You could wake up tomorrow and discover you’re actually bi.

Tomorrow you could meet someone of the sex you do not think you are attracted to and go “oh fuck”. There is no rule— nothing—that says that could not happen to you at any moment.

“I’ve lived forty years without—” so?

“I can just tell I’m—” how?

Now, we can get into the conversation of how these labels aren’t actually law, and that you can be a lesbian even if there was that one guy and you can be a straight guy if there were those two guys in college and etc.

And that’s totally true and valid and we should normalize that. But that’s another post.

My point for this post is that, yes, you are one strange meeting away from being bisexual. It will probably never happen. But you can never say with 100% certainty that it won’t happen.

But that doesn’t mean every gay, lesbian, and straight person should start calling themselves bisexual just in case. That would be a completely absurd thing to expect.

Can you imagine if we go around to gay men and were like “but how do you know you’ll never be attracted to a woman?” Imagine if we did it to straight people? The idea you have to call yourself Bi just in case?

This is easy to understand. So why is it so hard for people to understand when it comes to asexual and aromantic people?

Like… I suppose I could wake up tomorrow and catch some feels for someone. I… doubt it. But it could happen.

But I’ve been alive 22 years and it hasn’t happened yet. So why should I expect it? Why should I spend time thinking about it? Why should I label myself based on that slim possibility?

The number of straight people who have said to me “well you never know” or “maybe you just haven’t met the right person” or whatever. Can you all IMAGINE what they would say to me if I threw it back?

“Oh, sally, you don’t like any women yet but you never know. Maybe you just haven’t met the right woman.” Their heads would explode I think.

I am an adult. I have been through college and it’s social life. My brain is (basically) done developing and I finished puberty quite a while ago. How late do you have to be before people concede that you’re not a “late bloomer” you’re just not gonna bloom at all?

Maybe tomorrow I will wake up and be attracted to someone. I still would consider myself on the aroace spectrum. But to be honest I think I know myself enough to trust it’s not going to happen. And I don’t think I should have to plan for it or expect it.

[calyxthenerd]

i cannot explain what’s going down, i can see you standing next to me, in and out, somewhere else right now

“Welcome to the first anual MMIBD, multiversal mentally ill blonde dinner, I am Magnus Chase, pronouns he/him and I am pansexual and dead, as the most magical one here, I am hosting this event, please state your name, pronouns, identity and any fact about yourself you might find relevant to share”

“I guess I’ll go first, I’m Wilhelm, he/him, gay and my boyfriend is a wonderful musician” he smiles fondly, thinking about Simon

“Okay, that was unbelievably sappy, I’m Ámbar Benson-Smith, she/her, bisexual and I’m really into rollerskating”

“Hey, I’m Ambrosius, I refuse to share my last name because… just no, I’m gay, I use he/him pronouns and I’m pretty good with swords” that last part made Ámbar and Magnus snicker, thinking of dirty jokes about gay guys and swords

“Uh, I suppose It’s my turn? I’m Cole Mackenzie, I like boys, I don’t know what those words you’re saying mean, but I guess I’m a he? and I really like to draw” he scratches his head

“Oh yeah, sorry Cole, I forgot you probably wouldn’t know what those words meant, so, basically, Gay means attracted to only men, I don’t think that will come up right now, but lesbian means attracted to just women, bisexual means attracted to both, and pansexual means attraction regardless of gender” Magnus explained

“Alright…” Cole is still confused, but decided to just roll with it, because think about the existence of other universes was already giving him a headache, he could hardly think of a world outside of PEI, whole other universes? That was way too much for him, if Anne was here, she’d probably be spouting nonstop question to these people, but him… he didn’t know what to do

Magnus frowned at the boy, but shook his head, if he needed clarification on anything, he could ask “anyways, moving on to the next segment, who here has a significant other?” all hands are raised, but Cole still looks confused “As in romantic partner” he clarifies

“Oh, I don’t have one of those, but my friend Anne is very romantic and she’s the person I trust most in the world” he grins

Wilhelm smiles, remembering Felice “I have a friend like that too”

“Okay, guys, very heartwarming, but we’re kind of on a schedule here, and if I don’t get you back to where you belong in under an hour I’ll have several pantheons on my ass” Magnus rants

“Alright, you want us to talk about our partners, right? my boyfriend’s name is Simón-“ Ámbar starts, trying not to think about the existence of gods, but gets interrupted

“No way!! mine too!” Wilhelm beams

“Cool” she deadpans “don’t interrupt me, I’ve burned down buildings before, and if you try me, I’ll do it again” he shut his mouth “as I was saying, my boyfriend, Simón, is a musician, he plays in a band, they’re actually on tour right now, and he’s one of the only people who accept me even after my… less than stellar past” she smiles softly

“Oh! Me next!” Wilhelm calls out “My boyfriend Simon, is a musician, he was in our old school’s choir before it got shut down, and we were on a trip across Europe when I showed up here, speaking of which, aren’t people gonna realize we’re gone?” He furrows his eyebrows

“Yeah, I have a job and none of my employees are competent enough to handle it without me” Ámbar pipes in

“I’m in the middle of a sculpture and it can’t dry before I’m finished with it” Cole continued

“My whole kingdom is counting on me to spearhead the reform of our government” Ambrosius stated

Wilhelm winces “okay, you win dude, and my country could definitely use a reform… I have some work to do when I get back” he concluded

“Don’t worry guys, when you get back, no time will have passed in your worlds, anyways, my partner’s name is Alex, she’s the most badass shapeshifter who’s ever existed and she kills with pottery tools” he smiles, a lovesick grin

“She what- with a- what kind of world do you live in?” Ambrosius babbles

“A very complicated one, now, it’s your turn”

“Oh, my boyfriend, Ballister, he’s the smartest person I know, he graduated top of our class, he built his own robot arm, and kinda adopted/got adopted by a tiny shapeshifter, who’s also huge, who’s also a creature of pure light and darkness?” He ponders

“Yeah, they can be a lot of work, but it’s so worth it” Magnus’ lovesick grin shines through again, before a horn sounds and he looks at a clock on the table “shit, we didn’t even get to eat, a shame, the food here is delicious, well, I gotta send you back, before someone barges in and starts killing you, since you can’t revive like us” he finishes

“I’m sorry, wha-“ Ámbar goes back to her BA, where she was in the mansion’s living room, chatting with Luna about the next Open music, she breathed, trying to act natural and listen to her cousin’s ramblings and just nodded along

“What do you mean by tha-“ Cole got transported back, to his studio at Aunt Jo’s, and he just sighed, going back to his sculpting, with his mind far away, as he tried to process what just occurred

“You said you were dead, was it tru-“ Wilhelm blinked and he was back in Sara’s beat up car, as they passed the Champs Elyseé, trying to find their way out of Paris, he looked out the window, his mind still reeling from the events that occured

“I beg your par-“ Ambrosius was suddenly back where he was previously having a picnic with Ballister and blinked several times, before taking a sip of his juice and trying to act normal

By the time they wake up tomorrow, they’ll have forgotten it, Magnus thought, as he exited the room, flopping down on a couch, where Alex also sat “what were you doing in there?” the shapeshifter asked

“Kidnapped some people for a dinner party” he explained, laying down across her lap

“Huh, the usual then” she answered, massaging his scalp

[wawamouse]

Hello, I would love to hear anything on "In the Course of Destiny" or "In The Blink of an Eye" but if you don't want to give commentary on those: ⭐star⭐ Any commentary on any of your fics would be pretty cool! If you don't want to do this anymore please ignore. Thank you

Heeeeheeee "In the Course of Destiny" (-_- God, why'd I give it such a long title)! I'm actually working on this wip again after getting a bunch of other fics out of the way, so yay! Hopefully there'll be a chapter update before a year has passed lmao. So close to finishing, yet so far! I've mentioned before I'm pretty sure, but I started this fic completely intending to just write a quick crack fic to palate cleanse coming off writing the "Something Deranged" series. UMMMMM… Yeah, first of all, aside from Miguel crawling through a dryer to escape into another world, it's not really crack at all LOL. (But I guess the dryer portal is very strange if you stop to think about it).

Also, as I've mentioned (whined) before in a wip wednesday post as well as in the author's notes, when I initially conceived of the idea of Miguel hopping to a parallel universe, I was just going to have him hop over, hang out with Carmy for a bit—literally just follow him around after he gets off work—have a yaoi moment, and hop back (+some mild spoilers for ch.6). This seemed a bit too random to me, and because I love plot, I decided to add a robbery element to it last minute. Here is literally the moment I was deciding how to end ch.1, from a DM to a friend who hasn't seen the show lol:

I actually like that I went with the adventure plot, although it forced me to nix some stuff that I'd originally planned to write. In an earlier version, Alonzo works at the pawn shop with Carmy. Their relationship is interesting to me in this series; I think Chico and Torquemada don't think very much of each other in Miguel's original universe and hardly interact, but on the Other Side, Carmy and Alonzo are friends of sorts. I jokingly (to myself up to this point I am sharing it with you all) refer to the Other Side as the Gayer Side also bc one of the things I headcanon (without really writing it that way) is that Carmy—compared to Chico—is more attracted to men (still bi tho). When Miguel shows up out of nowhere, Carmy really just humors him because he's hot.

“This is going to sound crazy,” he says, “But I know you, Chico.” There’s a beat, and then Chico licks his lips, briefly glancing past Miguel like he’s checking for anyone else before he crosses his arms and shifts his weight back on one foot—This shit oughta be good. “Oh, you do?” he says, playful. “‘Cause as far as I’m concerned, you were hiding in the merchandise for the last two hours, and I’ve never seen you in my life. But you know me, huh, chico?”

^ Carmy at this point thought he was being hit on by a hot weirdo.

Also (I don't mention it outright but) the Consuela in this fic is a lesbian, hence Carmy being like "??? She's my what??"

Other tidbits... I talk about it here but I had to physically storyboard the scene where Miguel meets Alonzo because I am so bad at imagining spaces and I was really struggling with keeping that moment in his POV, description wise.

Mentioned this elsewhere as well, but originally, I was going to have Carmy either just go by Carmen on the Other Side or go by Melo (from Carmelo). But that felt somewhat too removed, plus then there'd be two M names to deal with.

Oh, one of the very specific-to-this-fic writing choices I made was to include Miguel's thoughts in parentheticals throughout his chapters. I did this to represent moments he's more lost in his own anguish—maybe you noticed, maybe you didn't, but there's a lot less of those parenthetical interruptions near the end of his day on the Other Side, and at the beginning of chapter 4, when he's completely at ease. To that end, ch.5, which will be from Carmy's POV, will have no parentheticals. Another thing that I wanted to do throughout Miguel's POV was still flash back to the primary universe, having the stuff that happened there still affect him and torment him lol. I actually really enjoyed writing the angst of all the flashback scenes (writing the Other Side is actually really hard lol).

I think this fic's Miguel is the most tortured post-canon version I've ever written? Mostly because he's so lonely at that point. He's misses Chico a lot and feels more vulnerable to Torquemada while also being incredibly disgusted with himself for exchanging sexual favors for D-tabs (in other fics, I kind of hand wave it and think Torquemada doesn't actually want to get involved / his whole thing is keeping a distance, but in this fic, that's not the case). This fic is also, I think, the most negatively I've written Torquemada? At least from Miguel's POV. He straight up hates him and is creeped out by him, which creates to him the greater contrast of Alonzo, on the Other Side, who is just kind of offbeat but overall friendlier and doesn't cross boundaries.

It's basically thinking about Chico that pulls Miguel into the Other Side, and thinking about Chico that takes him back (not to be gross LOL but I made sure to make the rules of that magic such that the portal opens and takes Miguel if he is in contact with Chico fluids while thinking about escape) (yup, that's the logic) (the blood stain in the concrete counts). He experiences roughly 12 hours on the Other side while several days have passed in the main universe.

Hm, I think Destiny's gotten so big at this point that I don't really know where else to commentate. I'll probably post some more deleted scenes or other tidbits in the future when I've finished it!

But that's a bit of the inside scoop for now!

[scoobydoominuscoobydoo]

Not me rolling my eyes when some members of the fandom screech at me for pairing an “obvious” lesbian like Velma with Shaggy or Fred when at most she is bi.

Is it because she doesn’t look like the conventionally attractive Daphne? Is it because of her glasses and bobbed hair? Is it because she’s smart?

Whatever the reason may be for the most popular fanon interpretation, Velma Dinkley is [also] attracted to men. Nothing wrong with that.

There are at least 10 guys she’s canonically interested in, even if they: turned out to be bad and she changed her mind; were just passing crushes.

(Side note: Admittedly, I’m on the fence on whether or not I approve of Velma x Sam Winchester bc it wasn’t stated in the crossover if the gang were considered teens still or adults, since Dean and Sam are obviously not teens and Sam’s disapproval of Dean’s crush on Daph stemmed from her being implied to be with Fred, and not the age difference, but the episode used is based on their earliest adventures of when they were teens, so yeah. On the fence until further clarification.)

In the Scooby Doo Apocalypse comics, she’s officially together with and happy with Shaggy.

In the Velma + Daphne books, she’s implied to be interested in Fred. (I really hope the author continues her series and explores those avenues further despite what the current movies and series say.)

I don’t see how these adaptations are an “insult” to her sexuality.

My hang up with the “confirmation” that Velma is “canonically a lesbian” I guess is mostly how it was executed and how they try to explain it.

In Mystery Incorporated, Velma’s relationship with Hotdog Water doesn’t reduce her to an babbling idiot. Neither do most of her relationships with the men. At most, she was adorably awkward, but still capable of being objective. Plus, if the male love interest in question was an irredeemable bad guy, no way would she compromise her morals!

With the Coco girl, on the other hand…yeah…Velma pretty much got the canon-character-in-this-medium-who-is-now-the-adoring-love-interest-of-the-mary-sue-self-insert treatment and was practically worshiping the ground this lady walked on on (I will acknowledge that Coco has a cute design; as for how Velma could possibly be attracted to her, I cannot tell you.)

Even her newest TV series doesn’t know what to do with her romantic/sexual orientation.

As a Frelma fan, I am unhappy that she is reduced to being a bitter jerk and that he is reduced to the stupid, self-absorbed and secretly insecure white boy born in privilege template instead of them both being likeable characters equal in intelligence in different areas.

As someone who sees Velma and Daphne as just really close opposites-attract-besties but will be objective for the sake of Delma/Vaphne shippers, it really bugs me when adaptations paint Daphne as mostly at fault for whenever caused their fallout as childhood friends and how they cannot have a civil conversation in their present years but oh-look-not-so-secret-belligerent-sexual-tension-explains-why-they-clash-and-why-now-they-should-be-considered-a-possible-thing instead of having them naturally drift apart for a few years bc school be like that, reconnect after some friendly, albeit awkward “oh how have you been? Oh fine i guess, you?” moments, be besties again, and then maybe lead up to a more natural and less rushed heat-of-the-moment developments. But nope. Suddenly they kiss at the end of episode 2.

As a formerly major and currently neutral Shelma fan, Norville (Shaggy) deserves better. That’s it.

So yeah, I’m annoyed by Trick or Treat, Scooby Doo! for claiming Velma as explicitly a lesbian now when they portrayed her romantic interest as such an insult to her core character, and moreso at the fans claiming it, James Gunn’s initial drafts of his films, and one of Velma’s live actress’s real life sexuality as the “correct interpretation” of Velma’s romantic inclination.

I’m annoyed at Velma the Series because whatever Frelma moments will happen, it will happen between the most negative and superficial interpretations of each character.

I feel like it's a little late to come forward and be like "Velma the Series" is a travesty and forever taints the otherwise fine Scooby-Doo repertoire. That is not a new observation especially with the news of it officially being the lowest rated show on IMDB. I knew from the minute it was announced that I wasn't going to be watching it. I just knew that the people working on this did not care or have a deep understanding of Scooby-Doo and why people like it.

I now feel validated in that initial judgement and can say with full certainty that I would rather watch Mystery Inc. (a show I have well vocalized my hate towards) for the rest of my life than even watch a MINUTE of Velma.

Velma as a character is loved and (although it obviously varies) she has a relatively consistent characterization across every show. She's the brains, she's the voice of reason, she's the skeptic. She acts as the person who keeps everyone down on Earth. And she is a great character but people always forget that she is great IN AN ENSEMBLE. She has the rest of the gang to bounce off of and the charm of SD is in that group chemistry. If you watch the show and think "Wow Velma totally carried this show" it's clear you have a fundamental misunderstanding of the SD franchise as a whole. Again, these observations seem moot at this point. Saying Velma is bad is like saying ice is frozen water.

What I will say is that it's upsetting that every character had their personalities stripped to just fit the very specific self-insert fantasy that Velma is trying to sell. Velma is no longer Velma, Daphne is no longer Daphne, etc. And that is obviously going to do no favors for Frelma at all. In every show (even MI) Fred and Velma are the brains. They're obviously smart in very different ways but anyone paying attention can tell that they are the ones who love to solve mysteries. They are a detective duo and are usually on equal footing. Obviously if you think Velma was the one carrying the team then you can't really portray her on equal ground with anyone.

But if I like Frelma, there is no way I am going to enjoy seeing the scale tipped so high in Velma's favor that Fred might as well not even be there. Their relationship dynamic is why people (me) love them and if that dynamic is done poorly then there's not much point in liking them.

Anytime Velma has shown any romantic interest in someone (male or female) she's typically pretty collected about it. Which makes sense - again she is the logical one in the group. And I suppose that only makes the discrepancies in her current character even more glaring.

I know that being bummed that we won't be getting well done Frelma/Scooby gang representation is a little ridiculous when we're looking at the other complaints made against it. The disappointment from the Indian community at how poorly they feel represented being the most important one (at least to me). Compared to that, this complaint is almost nothing. But it is also a reminder of what happens when people are given the rights to properties they clearly don't have any respect for. Riverdale having no respect for the Archie comics is another good example. I am hoping that all of the bad reception Velma has gotten will show that you can't just take any franchise you want and use it as a skin for your poorly written self-insert fantasy.

[our-lesbian-experience]

I suggested inviting a newer male friend (who I’m worried may be kinda into me because he looks at me a lot — I have good peripheral vision and in the environment we’re usually sitting where I can see him — and like always helps me and it’s kinda just a vibe mixed with those things) to the movies if my original friend I invited couldn’t make it and my mom reacted like. like “ohhhhhhh okay” like. Like it was romantic. And I’ve told her I’m not into him. And I was so so uncomfortable by this and it made me kinda anxious and like not wanna invite him anymore because it seems too flirtatious. And I feel like in the past (I’ve had stuff like this happen a lot) I would have thought oh no am I into him because of that reaction but since learning more about comphet…I think it might just be comphet. Which is scary as hell tbh because have I not been attracted to guys this whole time??? On the other hand if i haven’t and I do like girls and the possibility of me being a lesbian gets easier and less heavy on my shoulders (I’m hoping so hard it’ll be like how when I first came out of religion it sucked but now I’m very much at peace with it and glad overall) it’ll be kinda reliving I’m not. Idk. Someone who gets feelings and then backs out because I’m scared of commitment. I’ve always worried I’m like that. I’m starting to think maybe I have a reason (and also…those aren’t Feelings)

My mom has shipped me with my male friends all my life, and while I would have had it anyway probably, I think it really hasn’t helped the comphet. I can think of three examples — all boys — that she liked for me when I was 5 💀 and I didn’t reallyyyy mind it but if I told her it made me uncomfortable she kept doing it

At one point when I was twelve or so she kept mentioning this one boy I played games with pretty often and I told her (not angrily, but sorta passionately? ) to stop because that made me uncomfortable and it’s weird and she asked if I thought it was weird for the boy too (he would not have known my mom shipped us but his mom did) and I said yeah probably (although idk if he did — I found out shortly thereafter he had a crush on me and then I started talking to him significantly less and even missed his birthday party, even though I had been to every one since we met prior to that point, because it made me really anxious. And I thought maybe that was attraction. And I was bad for avoiding it.)

now that I’m allowing myself to maybe not be into men im more and more thjnkng j might not be. which is only making the shipping weirder, because like. you (my mom) migjttttt be missing a piece of the puzzle here

it really is wierd thi that the more I allow myself to be removed from being attracted to men the more I realize…idk if I even wanna date one? anyways yeah sorry this is all over the place I was kinda just wondering if you could relate or had any advice? and i’m sorry it got so long.

the comphet realization rollercoaster is so real. and the mom thing too, I still haven't come out to my mom and sometimes she brings up my "crushes" from when I was really little and it makes me uncomfortable but idk what to do :/

I can't really help you about the mom part but i can try to help w the comphet! try to do some introspection on what happens/happened when you feel attracted towards a man (like are you just attracted and notice or do you see a man, think that he is objectively attractive, and decide you're attracted? That might be a little 'severe' for the lack of a better word but it's kind of how I experienced it)

Also hypothetical scenarios are helpful. idk how old you are or if you've had a relationship yet so i'm just going to assume you haven't for the sake of simplicity. When I imagine a relationship with a woman, it's a lot different than imagining a relationship with a man. Sapphic relationships feel more real and something about it just feels more right. when i imagine being in a relationship with a man, it feels very theoretical and out of place, almost as if i'm imagining a caricature of myself or me in an alternate reality. Trying to imagine relationships with different genders can def help with figuring out if you'd want a relationship with a certain gender

[imspardagus]

Be careful what you wish for

What will the Gregg Wallace saga teach us? The probable answer is: absolutely nothing. It’s not a question of teaching old dogs new tricks. More that, as we are in the field of time-worn adages, you can lead a horse to water…

Because (and I am not, decidedly not, claiming to know that Gregg was guilty of inappropriate behaviour: that is for others to determine) once again, the BBC (it is not always the BBC, but is more often than it should be) seems to have got exactly what it bargained for.

You can almost hear the commissioning team’s discussion over who to pick to front the Masterchef cash cow and the others. “We can’t have two people who are refined. The public won’t buy it. What we need is someone who’s a bit of a geezer, a bit of a lad. A cheeky chappie. You know, a bit … edgy. A bit … working class.” “How about an East End greengrocer who hasn’t grown into his vowels yet?” “Oh, yes!”

Sounds a bit patronising? Well surely no surprise there. It’s how we got the likes of Jonathan Ross, Russell Brand, Jeremy Clarkson, Alan Carr, Jay Blades (I am not saying that any of these is a bad person, just that they share certain personality traits that made them appealing to condescending and algorithmically-driven snobs). And that’s without referencing Jimmy Savile. It’s the same mindset that foisted Mrs Brown’s Boys on us, insisting it is a “comedy” and East Enders, insisting it was “true to East End life”. It’s the same mindset that gives us those God-awful afternoon quiz shows in which ignorant people are encouraged to parade their ignorance. Away from the BBC, it is how we got those interminable “reality” TV shows: Love Island, Big Brother, The Only Way is Essex, to name but one.

It’s not new. The Upper Classes have always favoured a bit of rough, so long as it knows its place. It makes them feel more in control. It makes them feel superior. Until, of course, the bit of rough begins to get ideas above its station. Until, that is, the bit of rough not so much forgets itself as remembers itself.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m an Essex Boy myself. My family tree is two hundred years of East London. But if your idea of authenticity is that bit of rough, nicely muzzled at first, don’t be surprised if it takes the skin off your hand when you make a deal with it. If you want a diamond geezer don’t ever expect him to polish up like the finest brilliant cut.

I was born in the Fifties, in Ilford, and I grew up with “banter” and men behaving badly. It was banter of the ugliest kind and women were the butt of most of it. The rest was reserved for lesbians and homosexuals and the racial minorities. A lot of my generation and the generations that came after it gradually learned better. Sadly a lot didn’t. A lot thought, and still do think, that it was their manhood that was under threat when women found enough of a voice to explain about respect and consent and to expect a bit of common decency. They didn’t realise, and sadly still don’t, that respect and decency are the hallmarks of real manhood, that restraint and consideration and kindness are qualities to be admired and emulated and that self-indulgence and bullying are actually the marks of weakness and failure.

Again, I am not saying that the allegations against Gregg Wallace are true, but I have known, and still encounter, men of my age who, it seems, cannot contain themselves when a woman is present, particularly a young and attractive woman. They seem to believe they have a duty to be – in their minds – laddish, and in everyone else’s mind boorish.

But look at the evidence and you have to wonder if perhaps the commissioning teams actually got it – us – right. In the US, we have just witnessed the election of a philandering, groping slob, one who doesn’t even try to disguise his bullying baseness or his low opinion of women, especially bright women. We have had Weinstein behaving towards young and vulnerable women in ways that would make a teenage boy blench. And yet still we defend the behaviour.

Last Sunday I was in the White Horse. Most of the time the chat was pleasant and light but someone brought up the Wallace affair. His view, as a sixty-something male of reasonable education and professional status, was that it was all a “witch hunt” by “the woke” and that nobody was safe from these vigilantes. I attempted to put the other side but my attempt was howled down, not least by the two women present, one of whom was a primary school head teacher who claimed, proudly, that she “liked a bit of banter and didn’t see anything wrong with it”.

So maybe they got it right and maybe this kind of behaviour is what we truly wish for.

So here goes. Have you heard the one about ….

[chevelleneech]

https://www.tumblr.com/yonglixx/767082350448377856/felix-giant-jacket-mf?source=share

Have you seen this. HAVE YOU SEEN THIS! I'm a lesbian, and I've never been more attracted to an AMAB person. Anyway, Chan must be crying and I envy anyone who gets to date this beautiful person.

Your ask is a few days old, but when you sent it, I had already seen Felix in those clips. He looks so freaking pretty it doesn’t make any sense!

I’m back to answer you now, because this photo just dropped

and I am once again struck by how very little Felix looks like the average man. He’s gorgeous for one, but I’ll never get over the fact that people took to Twitter to say he’s not androgynous. To say his fans only claim such, because he has long hair, yet when looking at this one picture it’s almost impossible to tell if you ignore stereotypical markers such as his arm being more toned than you’d typically see a female idols being. At least in a photo shoot. It’s more likely she’d be photoshopped to appear softer.

Regardless, I’m just happy Felix seems happy. He’s voiced his intentions, meaning no one else can get upset on his behalf when he is called girly. It’s a want on his end, and he’s doing a great job presenting himself the way he wants to present. And I commend him even more, because it’s not like he’s only doing it off the clock so to speak. He uses his androgyny in his work as well as his daily life, which means on some small level at least, he was able to (if imagine) put his foot down and say, “This is how I want to look.” Which takes courage, even in an industry that thrives on their men being “soft” and “feminine” to sell.

Oh! And as for Chan, I do love joking about how down bad he is. Every time I see Felix looking extra pretty, I’m like, “Yeah, Bang Chan is going through IT right now. Fighting everybody off for his man!”

[bisluthq]

How do you feel good enough? This person I’m interested in a girl, first time kinda exploring bi side, and I like her a lot, although can’t lie, she’s tall (I’m 5’4, she’s like 5’7), but she’s quite, like quite overweight, but I don’t mind. That said, I work out, I go to the gym all the time, I’m trying to get my abs to show, etc. I can’t tell if I am attractive enough FOR her, and hard on myself, because I don’t have the perfect nose (side profile). Ppl will see pics of me online and think I’m pretty or gorgeous, but I never get approached in person, so I don’t actually know. Then again I’m like shy and a hermit. Taylor with Joe level hermit. This girl I am into, dated a girl who basically resembles Madison Beer and (she’s 21 I’m 24 that’s if she isn’t lying), her other 2 exes were I mean OK looking but I can’t stop comparing myself, and feeling good enough. Like if I meet up with her she’s gonna think i’m meh, tbh, and she kinda does play games.

Sorry for annoying u with this I just don’t know what to do/how to stop comparing, i don’t feel good enough.

just stop comparing yourself to any of them. I know it’s easy to say and hard to do but I have a few story times: the guy who made me think I’m a lesbian was dating a girl who then went onto a very famous dating show (Love Island/Love is Blind/Too Hot To Handle/Bachelorette - THAT big but lol let me spread it out so you don’t know). And obviously I felt very insecure next to her at like his 21st which I attended as a friend and she as the gf because she went on to be on one of those shows lol and I’m like.. okay. But after that he slept with me while with this absolutely beautiful woman because I chased him really hard and ngl it was mad weird when we did fuck and then I had to be like “my guy it wasn’t that fun, let’s be friends” and anyway the point was me being less pretty (which I am) didn’t mean I didn’t cuck this fucking GODDESS and didn’t mean it was worth it (again, separate story).

my current bf has dated some literal actresses (obvi no one famous but they’re all pretty).

He also says he married his ex wife because she was hot and like she’s less pretty than the actresses (just objectively) and looks about the same as me and I showed him the reality star girl and he was like “oh wow she is stunning” but in the way that he speaks about ScarJo or Chris Hemsworth so like??? He wouldn’t pick any of them over us tbh.

And from my end: Bookstore Girl - who is my Citadel - is kinda plain. I wouldn’t like do an oil painting of the woman. But she is SO hot to me. And my ex slept with a VERY famous man after swearing off men and being mad at me for talking to them idk.

it’s personality more than looks imo.

if I can cuck reality stars and my bf can find his ex-wife/me as hot as literal actresses/models and my ex can fuck a world famous sports star like it’s all more about personality than it is about looks.

ps. I’m sure you’re cute.

[sweetmusingss]

Renee squeezed your hand gently, her cheeks turning slightly pink as you admitted to knowing that you had to get on that plane to see her. Hearing you say that and knowing that the song motivated you to come see her meant way more to her than any of the success that had come with the song. “I am so grateful to hear that and you have me already brainstorming ideas for my next album,” she grinned at you. The truth was she was feeling inspired lately and was about ready to start writing some new material after the past week together. “Well, it’s not that big of a story honestly. I dated a guy and we were together for more than a year but I think I just wanted this perfect fairytale love and that is not what I got. He wasn’t a bad guy, he just wasn’t for me. It was lacking the sort of passion and love I was looking for so I finally just had to leave. I went on a few dates with guys after but there were some of the worst dates ever. Even if I don’t click with a girl on a date, it always ends up being more fun and oddly makes me feel better? I don’t really know how to explain it,” she said, never voicing out loud before that she seemed to have more of a preference for women but you were just so easy to talk to.

I nod as I listen to her, knowing that sexuality was weird and fluid and such a spectrum and everyone experienced it differently, but I was proud of her for seemingly knowing what she wanted and what she preferred and what she didn’t like when it came to romance and intimacy. “You deserve a perfect fairytale love, baby. You deserves doves flying around your head whenever you leave your apartment and men playing horns to announce you before you enter every room.” I giggle, squeezing her hand gently. “I only ever dated one or two guys in my entire life but I agree with you. Men are so... intense. Women are softer and easier to talk to especially in a date setting. Men just don’t get it and that’s totally not a biased lesbian thought.” I smile at her, looking down at her hand before saying this next part. “Are you a lesbian? Last I heard, you were bisexual but I know sexuality is something that can change at any given moment...” My ex was bi and it caused some issues sometimes. I was a lesbian and dating someone who liked both caused me some jealousy issues that I didn’t love dealing with. Comparing myself to another woman is one thing but comparing myself to a man? It was awful. “I used to identify as pansexual but I realized I definitely have more of a preference for women... considering I haven’t dated a guy in years and I have no interest in doing so again.”  

__

“Of course,” I say as I stared back at you, no hesitation in my voice at all. I did get a little overwhelmed sometimes in crowds and that was why I had been scared to explore on my own. I knew that with you though, it probably would be easier for me. I thought it was so cute how much you seemed to love the city and I wanted to see why you loved it so much. “Take me wherever you want,” I say, walking out of the elevator with you and stepping outside. “I wore sneakers because I figured we would be walking a lot,” I say, glancing down at my light pink sneakers and tapping my feet together like I was Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz.

“Oh yes, smart decision there, love. A good comfy sneaker is key to the New York experience. I know you’d probably look so good in heels with those legs, but you can wear those another time when I have an Uber set up for us.” He winks at you, that being the first time he alluded to his attraction to your legs, finding himself staring at them quite often since they were so long and lean and just sexy. “First stop is brunch. I hope you haven’t eaten today because the brunch game in New York City is unmatched. Normally, I’d just go to a deli and get a bacon egg and cheese - don’t tell Don or else he’ll murder me and make me run a marathon - but I want to be a bit more classy for you so I’m gonna bring you to my other favorite spot to get the best brunch.” 

[revolxtionarygay]

I’m months late, lmao. Initially, I was like "Oh, I need time to process this," after watching the play, and then, upon thinking, I realized I wasn't as organized on the comparison as I would have liked. Anyways, this gets a little longer than I'd usually post, so I'm going to put the rest under a cut.

Now, the performance I saw in Paris plays the characters of Huis Clos straight out as Bad People, which I mean, come on, valid. They're all in Hell. They've all done decently heinous things. Estelle throwing the baby off the balcony. Inès sleeping with her cousin's wife and driving him to commit suicide. Garcin cheating on his wife, caring little for what she thought of him and instead preferring the approval of men who are shown to think little of him because he's no one to them. Etcetera, etcetera. I tend to read the characters as a little more sympathetic, but I won't deny it was fascinating to watch a downright cruel portrayal of the characters.

When I first read Huis Clos, I was tempted to put Juri, Shiori, and Ruka into what I now think would have been the most obvious comparisons to the play—Juri as Inès because they're both lesbians, Shiori as Estelle because they're the object of Juri's/Inès' attraction, and Ruka as Garcin because, hey, he's a guy searching for Juri's attention and getting the attention from Shiori (same as Garcin). But in a way, the cyclical way that Sartre posits the characters of Huis Clos ultimately makes it possible for Juri, Shiori, and Ruka to fill any of the roles in the play. Do I think the aforementioned character match-up is the most suited for them? Yeah, but I think it is possible to argue that Juri is Garcin / Shiori is Inès / Ruka is Estelle. If you wanted to argue that. I currently don't.

My favorite part of Huis Clos is not Garcin's moment where he declares that "Hell is other people," though that's obviously the most famous line. My favorite part of the entire play is when Garcin looks to Inès and begs her to forget about Estelle, to let go of her desire for Estelle, to let go of her hatred for him, so on and so forth. Garcin tells Inès, "It's a trap" (referring to Estelle), to which Inès responds, "I know. And you, you're a trap, too...and I am a trap."

Ultimately, while it doesn't fit them perfectly, this moment reminds decently of Ruka and Juri. Consider Ruka, sick and dying and using his final days in an attempt to "free" Juri from what binds her or whatever (sorry, I did not go back and rewatch the episodes). He knows the cycle of the duels and sees Shiori as she is, but he doesn't seem to realize that Juri knows it just as well. He tries to free her, but she doesn't want that from him. She knows the cycle of the duels; she's lost against Utena twice. She knows—or at least seems to be somewhat aware—that Shiori will pick someone that Juri isn't and that she can't change that, as much as it pains her. She knows. He knows. Shiori likely knows, too.

Juri even has the experience to know that, even without Ruka, this cycle would exist because it happened to her and Shiori back in middle school. Kind of like how in Huis Clos, every character has their own cycle of attention they're caught in before the events of the play.

If Juri is Inès, then is Shiori both her Estelle and Florence? Is Ruka the cousin she drove to suicide?

If Shiori is Estelle, then is Ruka both her Garcin and her fling (that she drove to suicide)? Is Juri the husband she avoids? Or is it the other way around?

And if Ruka is Garcin, the Juri must be his Gomez and Inès. Shiori, the wife he cares little for. (Somehow, this is the one that feels the most concrete, especially when compared to Shiori as Estelle).

I could go on and on and never really find an answer I fully like. But essentially, those are the most basic thoughts I have on Huis Clos and Juri, Shiori, and Ruka.

Someone who’s only ever read Huis Clos/No Exit watching the Juri-Shiori-Ruka arc in Revolutionary Girl Utena for the first time: oh my god it’s just like Huis Clos.

[youranemicvampire]

Thoughts on First Kill (2022) with spoilers

I’m having a First kill brain rot so i’m just gonna let this all out. Just my personal opinions :)

Well, the theme song is cute, but tbh i really don’t like the intro itself. I know it is supposed to be campy, but they could do better. I don’t know if it’s possible to change it next season, but i hope they do. And i don’t think the budget was the problem on that aspect. 

Speaking of budget, it’s not their fault and as a non-scifi gal, it’s not a big deal to me. But again, i hope the cgi will get better next season especially the fighting choreography. 

The poor quality flashbacks was maybe my another complaint coz you don’t have to have a big budget to give it a decent editing. 

WOMEN. all of them. 

I like how the men on here were either their brothers, dads and a gay best friend so there’s no room for shipping any man with Calliette. They’re lesbians, but we know these straight stans. 

Variety was soooo wrong for calling this a tired take because it actually broke a lot stereotypes. An openly gay jock? Awkward vampire? Dark-skinned black woman lead who is being pinned on? Matriarchal family? Not to mention a lesbian show without those bury your gays trope and whatnots?

I usually like slow-burns, but they have soooo much chemistry that this worked. I smile like crazy even in those awkward interaction and eye contacts.

Tired of interracial sapphic couples that always include a white woman, but Jules is special. Sarah Catherine gave her justice and i can’t see anyone being casted for that role. As someone with anxiety, she nailed everything especially the posture and mannerisms. And it wasn’t over the top. +Jules is soooo cute and charming. 

Cal reminds me of those intimidating girls in high school that is impossible not to have a crush on. I understand SC’s reaction on the chemistry read coz Imani has this intimidating stare that is sooo hot, strong and mysterious. If you can’t see Cal being down bad, look at her eyes. It’s very expressive. 

I hate those takes that said we’re only hyping it for representation coz i genuinely enjoyed it. I’m a lesbian, but i think i’ve only consumed like 10-15 sapphic media and liked maybe 5-8 of them. That’s how picky i am. 

The kissing and make-out scenes? Oh god. I’m serious when i say this is the best or one of the bests i’ve seen (straights included). It is so passionate and authentic. Idk where that “male gaze” came from. The person who said that was dumb i’m sorry. 

The dialogue is another thing that needs improvement. The intent is there, just write it more natural

They really casted a rando for Noah Harrington lmao

If u hate Cal, i’ll just assume you’re a racist because she literally did nothing wrong. She’s down bad for Juliette. Her character is just different and her reaction to what went down is valid and natural, come on. 

I want to point that the S*x dream at the start was so important? Because being a lesbian teenager who is sexually attracted to another woman is NORMAL! and it doesn’t make them a dirty predator. 

The evil vampire twins are so exciting!

I hope the Burns will learn that not all vampires are monsters because of Theo. 

Not exclusive to First kill, but excess blood from the Hospital should just be given to vampires idk. Or u know, period blood if they’re not picky. In that way, Humans and vampires can live together in harmony. 

I love that Juliette’s parents were also forbidden lovers. idk it’s refreshing. 

Idk if i want a musical episode, but i want Juliette to serenade cal. Then Imani on the soundtrack. 

Yes to Elinor being bisexual. Make them all queer tbh!

That’s it for now. Just want to say to those who are hating, that no one is forcing you to watch, but to be an edgy hag that had to shit on the show in public (not on constructive way)? Sapphics are working so hard for this to be renewed and the diverse cast and crew put their hearts on it because it meant a lot to us, then you’re just gonna ruin it because you want to show how different you are? Come on. 

[from-a-reckless-writer]

38 Supercorp

"Fuck fuck fuckity fuck," Lena angrily chanted under her breath, hands clenched tight around the steering wheel as she slowed down. The officer behind her had thankfully silenced their sirens at the first sign that Lena was pulling up.

She forced herself to take deep breaths and calm her anger from explosive to just simmering below the surface. She really doesn't need this shit today.

The motorcycle pulled up next to her, if Lena played her cards right she could get out of this without giving up her license. She chanced a glance at her mirror, good thing she decided to wear a low-cut blouse. She's not above using her...assets if it meant getting out of this quicker.

The officer kicks down their stand and swings off. Lena collects herself, checks if her lipstick remains immaculate, she's played this game with enough business men before what's the difference with a police officer?

The difference, it turns out, is that the police officer happens to be a woman.

A gorgeous, blonde woman that made Lena choke on her own saliva, when she took off her helmet only to reveal deliciously perfect bone structure and luscious blonde hair flowed down her shoulders. It was like Lena was watching those pretentious shampoo commercials in real time, the only thing missing was a slow-mo effect.

Said gorgeous, attractive, beautiful--Lena needs more synonyms--knocks lightly on her window and Lena has to rub her three functioning brain cells in order to lower her window.

"Ma'am."

Oh, fuck her eyes are so blue.

"Ma'am."

Will I get more than just a fine if I invite her to my place?

"Ma'am."

Wait- Why drive back when we can do it here in the car? She looks like the car sex type, doesn't she?

"Excuse me, ma'am? Do I have your attention?"

Lena remembers a conversation needs a response from both parties if it wants to exist.

She snaps herself out of it--with the utmost effort, mind you--and clears her throat.

"Hi, officer."

Hi, officer? Hi, officer. What are you? A drunk bachelorette?!?

Lena fights the urge to bang her head on her steering wheel and tries to pay attention to the words coming out of the blonde's lips and not on how she's got the perfect Cupid's bow and what would it taste like pressed to hers?

She catches, "-license,", "-your fine." and at least three more Ma'am's.

Danvers, K.Z. She takes an important mental note.

"Ma'am your license please???"

"Oh. Oh yes. Yes. Right."

God, if she says please and ma'am one more time I'm going to commit a much bigger crime.

Lena fumbles for her purse, almost ripping open the zipper in her haste.

"Here, officer." She thrusts the card out of the window, wishing the blonde's hands would graze hers in the process.

"You can get your license back at the main office on Monday, ma'am. Considering it's the weekend today," she says absentmindedly, scribbling Lena a ticket.

"May I know the reason for your over-speeding ma'am?"

Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck uhm uhm-

"Oh, uhm, I didn't want to be late for my daughter's birthday."

WHAT THE FUCk?

"Oh. A birthday huh?" The blonde breaks into a grin so bright it lights up Lena's entire useless empty lesbian soul.

The blonde much to Lena's gay panic, pokes her head in and looks at the assortment of gifts in her backseat.

"Looks like a lucky girl. You must be a great mom."

Okay, so what if she didn't know what Ruby wanted for her birthday and got her everything that Lena thinks a thirteen year-old wants? And so what if she used her goddaughter as an excuse, sue her, at least she got treated to this officer's smile right?

"Thank you. She's 13 today. Didn't know what she wanted so I uh- got everything..." she gestures weakly to the gifts.

"Well, I'm sure you're going to make her happy today."

Yeah, I'm also sure you can make me very, very happy, officer.

"Mm-hm. Yes, that's the goal."

"Well, I won't keep you any longer."

Oh no please you can keep me as long as you like.

"Just don't speed again next time, alright ma'am? Tell your girl I wish her a happy birthday."

Lena stays there seated like an idiot as her eyes remains glued to the officer's err, backside while she walks away and mounts her bike again.

God, what I wouldn't give for me to mount her instead.

She gives Lena a small salute goodbye that was not supposed to be as hot as it is, before fitting her helmet and making the bike roar to life.

Lena remains stationary for a few moments, replaying the whole exchange in her head again and again. Before getting shocked into the present by her phone's shrill ringing.

Sam's face lights up the screen.

Shit, Sam's gonna kill me.

******

Sam doesn't kill her, at least not directly.

She does make her heart stop though.

"Lena!" Sam greets. "Finally! Ruby's waiting for you. Here let me take these. I have somebody I want to introduce to you."

Sam grabs the gifts from her arms and doesn't even bat an eye at the number of it all. She's learned not to fight Lena when it comes to spoiling Ruby. The house is decked in streamers and confetti. Outside, you can hear the high-pitched giggling of teenage girls.

Sam drags her out into the garden where the real party is.

"Sorry, I'm late. I got held up by-"

Lena's entire being freezes. Her sentence remains broken.

"Ma'am? I mean Ms. Luthor? I mean Le-wait your Ruby's other mom?"

"Kara! This is Le- other mom? Wait what? Do you two know each other?"

"Ruby's got another mom?"

"OH MY GOD, YOU'RE FINALLY HERE!!!!"

Everything happens so fast, suddenly officer--named Kara, apparently--is standing there in Sam's garden, Kara is saying something. And then Sam is also saying something and then a red-head that Lena has no idea who the hell is, is also talking and before Lena could even process a single thing, she gets tackled by a thirteen year-old.

"Happy Birthday, Ruby," She manages to squeeze out as Ruby knocks the breath out of her. In the distance she can hear Sam go, "Ruby! Careful!"

"Your gifts are in the living room," she whispers in her ear and then Ruby is off dashing, with nothing but a yell of "Thanks Aunt Lena!!" into the wind.

And now, Lena is faced with the reality of being introduced to the officer she's been drooling over.

"Okay, so let me clear this up. You got pulled up, by Kara here," Sam shakes Kara, who she's got under her shoulder. "For overspeeding because, and I quote, 'You were late for your daughter's birthday'??? Did I get that right??"

"Uh yes, that pretty much sums it up," Kara mumbles, staring straight at Lena.

Sam's got a knowing look on her face that Lena wants so badly to slap out of her.

"Interesting." Sam smirks at her. "Daughter huh?"

"Oh my god, stop it. I only said it so she'd let me go faster," Lena bursts out. "Technically, I am Ruby's other mom. I'm the honorary cool mom."

She really wishes her face isn't as red as she feels it is.

"No, you're the godmother and I'm the cool mom," Sam says smoothly. "But, before we get off topic, this is Alex and this is her sister, Kara."

Lena has heard all about Alex, dashing FBI agent and Sam's recent object of affection. What she hasn't heard about is, Alex's younger, more gorgeous and Lena hopes not straight sister.

"Hi, good to meet you, Lena." Alex gives her a firm grip which she returns with a smile.

"Hi," Kara says shyly, turning to her, she's wearing glasses and it's such a far cry from the person Lena's met on the road. This version is softer, somewhat warmer.

The blatant difference doesn't really deter Lena's want to climb her like a tree, though.

"Hi," Lena parrots back, holding out a hand. Kara takes it so gently and Lena feels like she's going to pass out when the warmth of Kara's hand envelops her.

She's blushing from her head to toe and she doesn't really care if Sam--or Kara for that matter--sees notices.

"How come I got here faster than you did?"

Well, that's because I had to spend at least 15 minutes on the side of the road trying to calm my breathing, trying to flush out the fantasies in my head and wow you're really gorgeous, has anybody told you that?

Lena settles with, "Ah, well, motorcycles are faster than cars I guess."

Kara gives her that smile again and Lena feels her face breaking into one too.

"Well, doesn't matter. I'm just real glad you're here now, Lena."

"Me too, Kara, me too."

prompt list here

[hellomynameisbisexual]

Andrew Ford was questioned and fetishized when he came out as bisexual. The gay community insisted he wasn’t being honest with himself; women at clubs started to excitedly fantasize about hooking up with two guys at the same time.

All the while, the soccer standout stayed true to himself. Ford came out his freshman year at Malone University, a small Christian liberal arts college in Canton, Ohio — home of the Pro Football Hall of Fame. His friends and teammates were accepting, which was an incredible relief. But his journey into the LGBTQ community was a little more rocky.

“I got a lot of pressure from the gay community,” Ford told me recently on the phone. “I felt like I was misunderstood, and didn’t know who I was.”

Ford is one of an increasing number of openly bisexual college-aged athletes whom we’ve profiled recently on Outsports. Despite some surveys showing more Americans identify as bisexual than either gay or lesbian, there is a dearth of bi visibility in pop culture and sports.

As bi sportswriter Jeff Rueter challenged me: “name a bisexual man, and don’t say Frank Ocean.”

These kick-ass kids are going to change that.

Biphobia is real

Let’s start here: Biphobia is real. It manifests itself in gestures as seemingly fleeting as dismissive jokes, and actions as harrowing as outright physical violence. Bisexual people typically suffer significantly higher rates of depression and anxiety, domestic violence, sexual assault, and poverty than lesbians, gay men, or straight cisgender people, according to the Human Rights Campaign.

A black-and-white society, most of us grow up with the notion people are either straight or gay. Those attitudes have historically prevailed in the LGBTQ community, too.

Alex Keuroghlian, the Director of the National LGBTQIA+ Health Education Center at the Fenway Institute, says bisexual people can be looked at skeptically.

“Within LGBTQIA+ communities, there has historically been a stigma toward bisexual people, and the false notion that they’re really gay and lesbian people who haven’t accepted that about themselves,” he said.

Megan Duthart, a rower at Washington State University who identifies as both bi and queer, has experienced the stigma first-hand. She says she thinks bisexual people are often excluded in the LGBTQ community.

“I’ve struggled a little bit with being identified as an ‘other’ in the community with the term ‘bisexuality,’” she said.

Why are bi people targeted for erasure?

More people are identifying as bisexual. Over three percent of U.S. adults say they’re bi, according to the 2018 General Social Survey. That’s three times the number as 2008.

And yet, bi people are still targeted for erasure. One of the ways it happens is through language. When people see same-sex couples, for example, they may be inclined to label them as “gay” or “lesbian,” without considering that one or both of the people could identity as bi.

While Americans’ attitudes about sexuality are evolving, many still adhere to more binary definitions of sexual orientation. A recent YouGov poll found 41 percent of American adults don’t think sexuality is a spectrum (conversely, 37 percent think it is).

As Ford puts it, bisexuality is stereotypically viewed as “the stepping stone stage.” That ties into one of the more insidious aspects of bi-erasure: the belief that it’s just a phase. It’s a line Ford recalls hearing many times, from both men and women.

“(Gay men) said, ‘I came out as bisexual first. It’s just a phase, you won’t be there long,’” Ford said. “I was also scared how women would think about it. They wanted to change me. Some of them wanted to use it as a thrill they were seeking.”

When professional hockey player Zach Sullivan came out as bi, his father told him it meant he was still making up his mind.

“I remember what my dad said when I told him,” Sullivan said. “‘Well, you aren’t all the way there. You haven’t really decided.’ I was like, ‘no, I know I’m attracted to both genders. I’m not halfway towards coming out as gay.’”

The bi burden

Every LGBTQ person can relate to the fear and anxiety of coming out. But for most of us, once we do it, it’s over.

That’s not the case for bi people.

“We have to keep coming out to our significant others, whether it’s a man or a woman,” Ford said. “If you’re gay and you start dating a gay, you’re not going to be like, ‘I have to tell you something: I’m gay.’ They’re going to be like, ‘no shit.’”

And once bi people do come out, they could get charged with being greedy — the sexual equivalent of having their cake and eating it, too. The insult angers Sullivan.

“The majority of people in the LGBT+ community have struggled with their sexuality, and when they finally become comfortable enough to come out in the open with their sexuality, I don’t think the first thing to say to someone who’s come out as bisexual is they’re greedy,” Sullivan said. “I took over 10 years to get to where I am.”

Duthart finds the concept of bisexuality can be difficult to explain. She largely identifies as queer.

“I’ve had coaches question whether I’m rebelling or going through a phase,” she said. “Then when I explain the whole queer aspect, they’re like, ‘Oh, OK. That seems more justified.’ I don’t want to have to justify those things, but I sort of have to.”

Changing attitudes

Jack Storrs came out as bisexual last year as a college football captain. His teammates at Pomona-Pitzer rallied around him, and wore Pride decals on their helmets.

But even some who were supportive suggested he was on his way to identifying as gay. Storrs said he couldn’t hide his feelings for men anymore, and came out because he wanted to explore.

Maybe he was gay, maybe he wasn’t. The questions didn't bother him. He was a relieved to have the dialogue.

“It was killing me on the inside,” Storrs said. “It got to the point where I was like, ‘screw it.’ This is who I am, and this was meant to be.”

Nowadays, Storrs says he’s more towards the “gay end of the spectrum,” and expects the fluidity to continue.

He’s cool with that, and numbers show his peers are, too. Generation Z is among the most progressive and diverse in U.S. history. A 2018 study from Ipsos Mori shows only 66 percent of young people today identify exclusively as heterosexual.

Young people have a better understanding of how sexuality can evolve, says Keuroghlian.

“There’s been less of a reflex to box people in, and categorize people in ways that could be static,” he said. “A key part of all of this is not projecting behavior or projecting attraction. People tell us — they self-identify that’s who they are. And we have to honor that.”

Visibility challenges misperceptions

But to get back to Rueter’s question: can you name a famous out bisexual person besides Frank Ocean?

It’s challenging, and the lack of bi visibility may be one of the biggest contributors towards bi-erasure. But that is changing. Each person who comes out as bisexual has the ability to change perceptions within their own communities — and many young athletes are.

Bri Tollie, a bisexual college basketball player at Southern Methodist University, wrote in her coming-out story she refuses to conform.

“It is important to be visible because everyone is unique,” she wrote. “Our uniqueness means no one should not have to give up a part of themselves to conform. It is called self-respect.”

Growing up, Storrs tried to shut off his attraction to guys. He told himself it wasn’t a big deal, but the angst became all-encompassing.

Storrs is done hiding any part of himself. He did that for far too long, and is now out for all to see.

“I am bisexual, and my point is, I don’t really give a shit what anybody else thinks,” Storrs said. “This is who I am, and I don’t have to figure it out, but the reason I’m coming out is to figure it out, or at least get to a point where I’m comfortable.”

With their stories, these young bi athletes are making it more comfortable for bi people every single day.

[ayamturd]

bisexual│mcyt hc

warnings: small mentions of hate, fluff

prompt: (requested 1 & 2) “Hello uh I saw one of your posts about the dream smp reacting to you coming out so I was wondering if you haven't already done it can you do dream smp reacting to you coming out as bisexual?” 

“Hello yamturd so I was wondering if maybe you could do tubbo, Tommy and Ranboo reacting to reader coming out as bisexual or lesbian if you haven't already done it :)” 

pairings: irl platonic! dream, ranboo, tommy and tubbo ; c!technoblade

a/n: if i offend or misinterpret anything in this hc, please feel free to message and correct me otherwise. i will always try to correct or delete this post if asked so <33

sending my love to all those who identify as bisexual <33

wc: (1.5k) - m.list

dream - 

considering his prideful personality sometimes, you probably wanted to play with his ego and drop subtle hints

not anything too obvious, but enough to make him kick himself when he realizes

though it was admittedly difficult since he plays into the dnf ship so much that he thinks you’re also joking more than half the time 

imagine you two were in a voice call one evening and randomly discussing the recent fanon and what would be funny to turn into canon (to mess with the fandom)

you’ve been recently shipped with two other content creators, both of opposing female and male gender, separately and together

“Honestly, I wouldn’t mind hitting that.” “Which one?” “Both.”

He’d laugh, but you didn’t.

“Wait, you’re serious? You actually identify as…?” “Bisexual. Yeah, I’m pretty sure anyway.” “Y/n, that’s amazing.”

takes pride in the fact that you trust him, but would feign being upset that you messed with him for as long as you did

be jokingly offended if he found out someone knew before him

“Wait…” “Yes?” “You told Bad??” “Yeah, he was one of the first.” “W— Why??”

It was your turn to laugh while he gawked in disbelief.

“It’s Bad! Of course I told him.” “… Fair enough.”

hate is a given, and he’ll always be there to support and defend you

he’ll always ask your permission before taking any action, however, because he respects you too much and knows you can fight your own battles

dream is someone will show relentless support, whether that be through words or moral support, he’ll always be there for you 

c!technoblade - 

i honestly feel like you never officially came out to techno

as you began to recognize yourself as bisexual, you slowly expressed yourself around him more openly to the point where he unconsciously knew

it’d probably would have hit him in the most random moment after months of assuming he knew

imagine you’re in the midst of battle when techno paused entirely with wide eyes 

“Y/n!” “What!?” “Are you gay??”

you would tease him when discussing your love life in one-sided conversations with him; him basically choosing to ignore you when you talk to him

“Honestly, Techno, how could you not want to hit that?” “Please, just stop.”

(i’ve written this before but will stand by this that) he truly doesn’t care for your sexuality

you’re a friend, someone he trusts and relies on, he doesn’t need to consider who you’re attracted to since he sees you for your skills and friendship

the only, and only time he is mindful of your sexuality depends on others unnecessary comments about it

the smp is a known judgement free land, but there will always be someone with ignorant opinions that he is always quick to shut down (or kill)

nothing much can be said besides the fact that you’ll always be y/n to him: a loyal friend and someone he would fight the world for

ranboo - 

oh sweet ranboo, dear ranboo

considering how openly supportive and kind he naturally is, you didn’t question the idea of telling him

i’d like to imagine that unlike most where you planned or waited to tell, the moment you knew, he would know soon after

imagine you called him before he began his lore stream to hype him up

you both were talking about more mundane things to calm his nerves as people joined when you brought it up

“Oh actually, before you start, I wanted to tell you something.” “Sure, what is it?” “Well, I— I’m Bisexual.” “…You’re tELLING ME THIS WHEN I’M ABOUT TO START MY STREAM??” “Y/n! I’m so happy for you, that’s amazing!”

he’s incredibly patient concerning how you wanted others to know or when you were ready to be completely out

similar to c!techno with the same beliefs you’re still y/n, and nothing has changed besides you coming out as yourself

he’s your go to when days are rough, because he knows how to help you understand you’re still loved as the same y/n and nothing less

“Hey, hey, listen to me. I love you, y/n. We all do, and you’ll never be alone when things get rough, alright?” (love /p)

knows how to silently deal with hate in his chat unless it becomes evident enough to address it (doesn’t want to bring attention to meaningless words until it becomes serious)

ranboo’s your rock and makes show that he’ll never believe anything other than that you deserve love

tommyinnit - 

as someone who took pride in defending the LGBTQ+ community, you had no hesitation when coming out to tommy

if any, your reluctance would come from accepting yourself to the point to be open with other people

it’s not as if he didn’t accept you, he could never imagine doing so in the slightest, but he probably wouldn’t know what to say initially

imagine you both were in the midst of playing bedwars together in a recording for a video

he had been busy gathering emeralds while you remained at the base, and the comforting silence gave you the confidence to blindly address it

“Hey Tommy?” “What, y/n? I’m in the middle of something right now.” “Oh, um, I’m pretty sure I’m bisexual.” “…” “…Tommy?” “…” “T— Tommy?”

it’d be dead quiet for a few seconds before you heard the noise of him rustling in realization

“Wait wait wait, you’re serious? You’re bisexual?” “Haha yeah, yeah, I am.” “WHA—!”

he was happy for you, to say the least

tommy loves to joke, and one he loved to make would be your attraction to both genders

you like women? pog!

you like men? a shame, honestly

if you were publicly out, his favorite bit would be to include you in his obnoxious swooning

imagine he was streaming while talking about his love for women

“Boys, honestly, the ladies just can’t resist me.”

The ding of discord notified you entering the call, the sound of your laughter immediately coming through.

“I agree, Tommy, I definitely agree.” “Y/n! You are attracted to women, and I am also attracted to women. You can agree women are amazing, yes?” “I can, Tommy. Women are indeed amazing.” “Good lad!” “Tommy, you do realize I’m not only attracted to w—” “Shush, we don’t speak of that.”

he showed his support by normalizing your sexuality, his acceptance quick and easily integrated into your lives

(this is getting long but—) tommy was well aware he lacked some knowledge when being in the LGBTQ+ community, but openly voiced his ignorance as a sign of awareness itself

he was always quick to correct either himself or others, he refused to accept slander of any type in his streams

would probably try to keep it light heartedly, but scold nonetheless

tommy was your figurative cheerleader, always there to include and uplift you, whether that be through the smallest gestures or loudest cheers

tubbo - 

poor tubbo

since he wasn’t the most careful with secrets, you probably withheld telling him till you were ready for most to know

this isn’t to deter anything of not trusting him, he’s still supportive and loving tubbo that wouldn’t dare do anything purposeful against you

if anything, you might have forgotten that he didn’t know when you were casually taking about it within a group

imagine you and Ranboo were trying to get him to sleep one early morning but gave up

you started talking about personal stuff and the topic of your love life came up, specifically the attraction to someone of the same gender

“I don’t know, Ranboo, I mean, I think I like them but at the same time I’m not sure.” “That’s fai—” “Wait, y/n. You’re gay??” “Bisexual, actually.” “WaAA—”

his very sleep deprived state was extremely happy and emotional for you

he’s like the little duckling with a knife, like he loves you completely but will try to hurt anyone that offends you

like tommy, he has no personal knowledge when being in the LGBTQ+ community but will solely learn for your sake

whether you’re younger or not, tubbo never fails to remind you that he looks up to you

he gives his all and won’t hesitate to provide in any way he can if needed

“You matter,” he’ll always say, “you’re important and no one else’s opinion matter.”

is proud to be your friend and expresses his platonic love in full, for you’re you and are so brave to be yourself despite all

choosing not to tag my usual taglist just cause its a headcanon with a specific request <33 (huge ty to @basilly​ and @inniterhq​ though for the advice/motivation to finish this)

[redheadbigshoes]

one thing i realised is that in my journey to figuring out im gay is thinking i was aromantic and asexual before hand. this is NOT a bash at aro and/or ace people, nor am i saying that being aro and/or ace isnt real, but for me, because everything in life (with regards to female bodied people) is centred around engagement with men, my not feeling what every other girl i knew felt growing up made me think i didnt feel any romantic or sexual attraction at all. i remember distinctly one time in middle school where literally every singe girl in one of my classes were all apparently in love with an assistant teacher and i just... didnt get it? they would giggle and squeal when he walked past and i just didnt. in finding the lgbtq community, i was like "oh i guess im aroace then" cos given my interactions with men up until then, made sense only for me to consider women, and that was that. granted i do sometimes fall back into thinking im aroace whenever comphet hits me, but i know im a lesbian. poor confused baby gay me back in the day lol (you'll get there, girl. i promise)

but yeah just wanted to share that experience i had in realising my sexuality

You know that not only you but also me and I’ve seen other lesbians say that before they figured they were lesbian they also thought they were aro/ace. In my case back then I didn’t know about those labels and what they meant, but I did think I was different to the point I didn’t like anyone. So I definitely relate to your experiences because I felt the same, since I didn’t get what other girls were feeling and talking about when it came to boys I thought maybe I didn’t feel any romantic and sexual attraction at all.

About your story with the assistant teacher this hits too close to home because I remember very much we had a teacher all girls had a thing for, and I’d look at him and think “why are they so obsessed with this man?”.

I’m very sure (also considering because I did experience that as well) you’re not the only one who has gone through that. Thank you for sharing your experience!