#I am just. not in a good place rn
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dont got much to offer for The Holiday but have these sillies!
happy valentines day :D
#sxf#spy x family#damianya#damian desmond#anya forger#my art#i am sleepy rn im scheduling this ahead of time like several hours ahead JKSDFKLS#unrelated to sxf. the tags are my speaking place shush#was not expecting the toby fox newsletter to have so much for me to think about JKKLDFSS#good ole gaster sending us love letters (we don't KNOW it's gaster but like. typing pattern + him being the only character to be like)#(directly referring to the game as deltarune)#ALSO THE WEATHERMEN HAVE NAMES NOW ?!?!? AND ARE IN LOVE ???!?!#so happy for them fr#i didnt get the mettaton card but like just know. that is my essence. all those blingee-core sparkles. those picmix hearts. me#anyway YIPPEE WAHOO
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i turn 25 in just under two weeks and i would much rather hide under a rock than have to awkwardly pretend to want to celebrate that
#b.txt#I am just. not in a good place rn#if I could just postpone it for when I feel better about myself that would be. great#like I want to do something bc I know I’ll be more depressed if I don’t but I also know that#I’m just gonna feel like shit#I have a feeling it’s gonna be similar to last year#where in I spent the whole morning sobbing bc I hated how I looked#and then spent the whole day depressed#and then cried myself to sleep lol#I just also don’t think I’ll be very fun to be around#but it’s ldn pride the day before#so my friends want to do like. a joint thing#and I want to celebrate pride w them I do!!#but I also just. don’t want to drink like I don’t want to spend my bday hungover#I don’t feel like getting drunk like I just don’t want to#but I have a feeling that’s what they’re gonna wanna co#and I just .. ugh. I wanna see my friends but I just#idk#I feel like I’m just not gonna be v nice company#all I really wanna do is b w them and do something. wholesome. idk
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Saw this post and couldn't resist because,
1.) @tesscourtes' human!Bill is a lil cutie-patootie menace that I very badly wanted to draw, and,
2.) I have a - M I G H T Y - N E E D - for any version of human!Bill to find any way he possibly can to annoy Ford a whole lot :D
Also, 3.) I like to headcanon that Bill's knowledge in The Sciences is mostly limited to 'Ways I Can Make A Really Cool Doomsday Portal', and everything else he knows is just a slapdash mix of the stuff he remembers from whatever schooling he went through on Euclydia, a whole awful lot of lucky guesses (which he WILL gaslight you about if you tell him he's wrong), and - naturally - conning all the rest of the answers he needs out of any more educated saps who are unfortunate enough to be around him at the time (answers which he will then proceed to take credit for), so as far as I'm concerned, this "outfit" is perfect for him.
Ignore the shitty backgrounds, I am sick to death of doing backgrounds, I just want to draw goofy shenanigans, okay???
#fanart#billford#bill cipher#stanford pines#gravity falls#mabel pines#human bill cipher#my headcanon is not to say i don't think bill is smart. bill is clearly Very Smart. he just applies all his smarts to con artistry and evil#which - honestly? MOOD#tagging the ship because this particular AU is Decidedly Billford XD#i'd say 'their divorce is going so well' but i think they're too busy with doing ~other stuff~ to actually get divorced#if ya know what i mean - wink wink#i hope i drew him okay ahaha i tried my best but i am still crawling and scraping my way out of massive art burnout :‚)#and i gotta add - it is ROUGH transitioning from drawing furries to drawing regular humans again O-O;#prolly gonna draw this lil menace again with a few other human!bill designs i like all in one image :3c#for rn tho i have an equally mighty need to address a post joking about how bill is not allowed to swear and hates it#got a few perfect quotes from 'the good place' i can utilize with just that one little concept‚ lemme tell ya OuO
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girls when their issues get dismissed as anxiety for the millionth time
#futaba sakura#persona 5#p5r#p5#fanart#futabadoodles#chat i am SO losing it#went to get diagnosed w adhd wasnt diagnosed because and i quote “it could be anxiety” omfg#neurotypical psychiatrists especially white ones die in a hole 🥰#also because i “wasnt struggling enough”#like hi so i have this thing called emotional intelligence a good support system and access to coping skills hope that helps!#god forbid a neurodivergent person has tools to manage their condition and isnt in hell everyday i guess!#hate her ass!!!!!!!#i wasnt looking to get diagnosed for medication or support bc i already use a lot of like adhd specific supports and shit#and w accommodations my anxiety diagnosis can cover what i need for the most part so it was rlly just a validation/confirmation thing#like idk yeah. i am managing. im not particularly struggling. because ive been selfdx for a while and have implemented changes in my life#and i happen to be in a very very good place rn and im very lucky. so like. ???#rlly felt like “you have all the symptoms but youre not struggling enough with anything to be able to diagnose ypu” ok thanks fuck you#cuz ppl w adhd can manage being unmedicated by choice i js wasnt officially diagnosed before i guess its deemed “okay” to not live in hell!#dunno im frustrated. i have difficulties but i manage them well and i am very lucky to live an easy life for now so like 😭??
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In the Philippines rn and was hit with a stroke of inspiration
#at least one of my faves in every series i enjoy is struck with the half-filipino curse#some previous victims are karkat vantas stan marsh and my own ocs but they dont rlly count#akane calls alisa ate#she called seiko tita once and when she figured out what it means seiko was like HOW OLD DO YOU THINK I AM??#struggled to find a good filipiniana reference so i did something simple :’)#anyways havent been online cause im traveling rn!! and the wifi isnt too great#but i promise im not dead just busy#i always have time for the yamamoto siblings tho my muses#thinking about rewatching hq in tagalog to help me learn#but the only place i can find it with tagalog subtitles is reuploaded on tiktok lmao#yamamoto taketora#yamamoto akane#haikyuu#haikyuu!!#hq#haikyuu fanart#my art
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drawing kudos managers as I beat them part 7 (+satellite investors)
IM FINALLY FREE FROM THIS DRAWING OH MY GOD i had to learn how to draw skelecogs just for this drawing and it took like four days to make.
also fun fact one of my besties is named nix :3
#toontown#toontown corporate clash#ttcc#plutocrat#cosmo kuiper#satellite investors#im about to ramble in these tags about the pacesetter drawing i made for this series bc i dont know where else to talk about it#looking back at it i am not happy with that drawing tbh#specifically the shading#like the shading itself looks good but with the other parts of that drawing it really just doesn't fit the vibe I was going for??#its way too dark in most places imo so most of the details that you should be able to see get hidden in the shadows#it was an experiment and failed experiments happen whatever#i might upload an alternate version of it where i tone down the shading#idk#i'll probably just end up making another pacesetter drawing when my motivation comes back cus i am a bit artblocked rn#ALSO WHY IS IT THAT WHEN I DRAW MY FAVS IT TURNS OUT MEH AND WHEN I DRAW THE GUYS I DONT CARE ABOUT IT TURNS OUT AMAZING WHAT IS UP WITH TH#stupid made this
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hsr's a great game it's like "hey here's this guy who's a cyborg cowboy of all things isn't that fun. look at how wild and flamboyant and entertaining he is! an automatic censor was installed into his universal translator when he got his rockin robot bod so he can't swear anymore and this is especially funny in the cn and jp text of the game because his swears are replaced with things like sweetie, baby, and cutie."
"also his entire homeland was wiped out by the intergalactic capitalistic monolith that's been cruelly siphoning valuable resources from countless planets with little to absolutely no regard for the residents. they spared nothing once their boss gave them the go ahead to use military force. not even his baby daughter, who had just barely learned how to walk."
"he never got the chance to erect a grave for her. or the other loved ones he lost."
#it all hurts so badly dude#augh...aughhhhh this man.......#i wonder how much he knows about aventurine.#like does he know the significance of looping aventurine into his revenge plan against oswaldo versus any other stoneheart#topaz was still at the reverie iirc... is the reason he didn't corner her limited only to the fact that she was in the public lobby#does he Know. that oswaldo did the exact same thing to aventurine.#does he know he couldn't have found a more willing accomplice. does he know aventurine has been playing his own long game against oswaldo.#or does he assume the stonehearts all share diamond's shallow business and promotion motivated grudge against the monster#i am so curious about this#i'd say the hostility of his greeting indicates that he doesn't know what happened to aventurine but like#...😭 ? it seems like he kind of just says hello with his gun. so uh#not actually a good indicator of anything.#i hope they team up and fuck shit UP#i think they will. this IS the kind of opportunity aventurine has been waiting for#the story is going very interesting places rn. someone on that writing team has a very large bone to pick with capitalism LMFAO
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doing a new line-up for my voices with all their updated designs, and gosh, seeing my progress this clearly with how I drew these guys before and how I'm doing it now is so kamskdmdmdmd
have some of the process so far. also already got some colors in and hoping I can finish this tomorrow
#as an artist. I got past a lot of my insecurities and imposter syndrome a while ago#(last year even. maybe? idk. time isn't real)#and it feels so fuckin' good to look at my stuff and go#that shit's GOOD!! I like that!!#that's what I always wanted. just. make art I'm proud of#it wasn't easy getting here. I was in a very bad place just a few years ago. but that's in the past now#rn I'm just happy with myself and where I am#sorry. got a little emotional here lol#anyway. look at my funky birds–#stp-posting#Artist's Log#< making a proper tag for sharing WIPs lol
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Aw man...
#Vent incoming wee woo wee woo#Goooood man I feel so. Stressed and anxious cuz of my job#I hate it. I hate trying not to cry every 5 minutes#I hate the feeling in my chest. It's like someone is poking really hard into it#It's almost suffocating#I feel awful. Every little thing makes me angry. I don't want to be angry at ppl who did nothing wrong. I don't want to be like this#I really wish I wasn't like this. Why can't I be more calm and normal#I feel like I need a good cry. But I don't have anywhere to go for that#When I'm at home I don't feel like crying cuz I purposefully distract myself from stress#But I do feel like crying at work#But ofc I can't cry at work#And even at the end of the Day when going home I'm too tired to cry. Plus it would look weird for other ppl walking by...#I hate this. I get all stressed durring work but then I can't let it out#I have work rn. And tomorrow#I'm just gonna have to feel awful until my Days off come#God. I really hate venting. I don't like ppl seeing me like this but. I don't have anything else left to relieve the pain#I just don't know what to do anymore#Where to go#Whatever. This feeling will go away eventually#It will come back ofc#I just wish there was a better way to ease the pain. But again. I don't have a place for that#So I'll just have to seat w these feelings until they go away#I'll try to keep myself distracted. Which will be hard cuz I. Am at work. The place which makes me feel these things in the first place#But whatever! I'll try anyways#I'll look at art. Or I'll think about characters that I like...#Save me fictional characters. Save me!!#Anyways. Vent over 🎉
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pray for me please
#about to go and have a discussion with my current ministry leader about taking over for her#she's the administrator for the entire church and I have more time + passion and plans for this ministry#my dad (in the worship leader rotation) even said I would make a good Official ministry leader#I would have a leg to stand on in training and in asking for better organization from other teams I work with#it's very chaotic rn because one woman is overseeing pretty much everything and I would like to make it... different#I'd like to implement some things but I don't really have any place to ask for them right now#I feel like I can't ask speakers to get me their verses by Friday instead of on Sunday morning#I can't implement an inter-team preservice meeting because I'm not in charge#I would like to be#however I am very small and nervous. I'm only 21 idk if they'll go for me being In Charge of this#but the overall church admin has said I have administrative skills. I come in and help her during her office hours when I have time#I know this ministry and all I'm essentially asking for is to be a stage manager instead of just a technician#anyway. yeah pray for me please#Lu rambles#faith tag
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I have opened tumblr for the first time in like 3 months and I just want to say thank you for all the asks and lovely messages whilst I've been MIA!!! I'm always overwhelmed by the love and support for my fics but idk this time it hit like crack. love you all and now my exams are coming to a close I hope to be writing soon. gonna answer some asks in the meantime whilst I have the energy. cute little life updates in the tags 🫶🏾
#uhhh im flopping med school#i am in a happy (?) relationship#rereading rigor mortis and it feels so nostalgic lmfao#i was cooooooking goddamn#im hoping to ease back into writing by updating some of my older fics - working on the next chaps of meet the millers and just to kiss me rn#im in a sticky place with rigor mortis where nothing seems to be working... it feels like ive lost the magic rn#and i want to put out something im proud of#me when i take my antidepressants semi regularly and talk to a therapist#life is good?? the sun is shining?? crazy stuff#love y'all 🫶🏾#kat_thoughts🍃
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[rez]
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Anyway
Hope Castor can help Lunar.
Or atleast point him in the right direction.
I think Lunar is finally facing himself really.
And I understand wanting him out of the house but like- why are they surprised he ran away?
Thats like what Lunar does? He ran for months after he died, him running away is par for the course. And he was gone for three days because he was in jail? They didn't even accept that, they just got mad at him for running. As if Monty hadn't actually decided he was gonna kill Lulu.
Like Lunar would probably be dead if he'd stayed, or atleast injured.
'We do still love you and youre still our little brother'
-They say as they irepibly damage any and all trust Lunar had in them at the moment and in the future.
Moon I understand you want him to actually face consequences but there's no going back from this!
Lunar will never trust you, or anyone else in this family, again.
Castor pleasepleaseplease be the one who finds him.
Ohhh how I want to see more Pollux and Castor interactions bc as I said in another ask that idk if you received Cas almost seems to be avoiding talking to her specifically about Lulu.
That or Lunar gets kidnapped again.
More specifically by the creator so gem (or even just Cas) have to save him
But with Gemini separate there's also the possibility rez or someone else targets one of the twins while the other is away so thatd be neat.
ALL OF THIS NODNODNOD!!!!!!
I think Castor choosing to help Lunar while Pollux doesn't would be really interesting from a Gemini perspective. They're the twins, they make up one astral, one constellation together. If they truly become divided over this, I would be deeply fascinated to see where it goes from there since we got so used to seeing them as Gemini—a collective entity—rather than themselves.
And YEAH LIKE. Listen. I know that to the family, because they don't actually have the full picture, it looks like Lunar is just a loose canon that attacked Earth in a fit and then dipped. But also LUNAR TRIED TO EXPLAIN THAT THEY WERE IN LITERALLY INCAPABLE OF RETURNING SOONER BC THEY WERE JAILED AND THEN REZ PUT THEM ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE GLOBE. AND MOON JUST WENT "I DON'T CARE." LIKE CMON 😭 "why were you gone for 3 days" "i was jailed and then left in russia" "whatever i dont care" MOON WHEN I GET YOU.......
THE "I LOVE YOUS" BETWEEN IT ALL YEAH.
I'm sorry but no amount of "you are family and we love you" is going to lessen the blow of "you have basically been squatting in my house (that i invited you into and you've been paying rent for) and you're a danger to this entire family so I want you to never speak or get near any of us until you sort yourself out." ESPECIALLY WHEN MOON SAID "YOU'RE LUCKY I EVEN STILL CONSIDER YOU FAMILY" LIKE I'M SORRY BUT THAT'S WILD. Again, I understand Moon in this situation. That does not mean I don't think he wasn't insanely rude LMAO 😭
Exactly like you said, Moon cannot undo this. Lunar has always looked up to old Moon and so I cannot imagine how much more it hurts coming from him. I honestly can't imagine a clear future where Lunar is going to feel safe amongst their own family again, knowing that they all viewed them as dangerous enough to be kicked out. Honestly, I'm half expecting this to end up as "Lunar lives independently and then realizes they actually feel better not living around their family and that they were kinda awful for them on accident" HDKSHDJS
YEA MORE CASTOR N POLLUX INTERACTIONS WOULD BE GREAT...... Yesyes I have received ur other ask and I'm actually gunna answer it after this one but GHOD yeah. Seeing them disagree abt smth is so interesting and I need more of it....... If one twin is hurt tho,,,,,,, ouhg. The Angst........
#asks#anon#rez anon#i have my fingers crossed on this arc so bad bc I am /really/ into it so far#but I am so nervous there may be nonsense just around the corner HSJABSJSN#Especially w/ Lunar living alone rn. I'm worried they're gunna end up found or kidnapped before anything actually comes outta that#bc like#i was talking abt this all with my friend on call last night and xe made a rlly good pount that at their last apartment... they didn't—#—/actually/ rlly live independently#earth came over a lot and cleaned their place and jack was introduced so they were always being watched#which felt like 'you may have ur own apt but the family is always Right There ^_^'#which means they. probably didn't actually feel any freedom from it HDJSHJD#NOT THAT..... THIS WILL FEEL MUCH FREER. BC THIS IS UNDER TERRIBLE CIRCUMSTANCES#but now they are /actually/ alone. and while yes i wish they didn't have to learn like this#there's still the opportunity nonetheless yk#lunar and earth show#the lunar and earth show#tlaes#laes#tlaes spoilers#laes spoilers#long post
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Ink October day 13: Radius
A bounded range of effective activity or influence.
A line segment that joins the center of a circle with any point on its circumference.
#roxas#kh roxas#kh sora#roxas kingdom hearts#sora kingdom hearts#kingdom hearts sora#kingdom hearts roxas#sora kh#roxas kh#kingdom hearts#kh#ink october#ink october 2024#blue boi draws#ink October 2024 day 13#I’m going to be completely honest with you I just wanted to draw them#also hey day 13 the kingdom hearts number. I didn’t plan that at all <-(genuine)#anyway as always they make me insane#my ds broke (it was just the shell dw I just bought a new one and fixed it) so I couldn’t play days for a while and missed it#it’s taking me a long time to finish this game in particular despite the fact that it is very good in part because it is a tragedy#and I’m very much in a place rn where I know it’s only gonna go down hill from here#but I am also very autistic about it. so I started a new save file and started writing down every line of dialogue in a notebook.#because I am normal.#anyway I’m making them hug they both deserve it
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@naffeclipse
Them ❤️
#HOLD ON IMMA RAMBLE IN TAGS#my ârt#fnaf daycare attendant#cryptid sightings#naffeclipse#OKOKok so maybe I got busy with school for a few weeks there and couldn't keep up#BUT last week I finally sat down and read like 6 chapters in a row#and my stars I am bouncing off the walls#naff naff listen these demon guys live in my brain#this is exactly how I got excited during sleuth jesters naff you have sorcery#good lord you know how to write tension and foreshadowing#I have theories I have thoughts but I truly just want to see all the guns placed on stage and they are about to go off I can feel it#hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh their emotional conflict is killing me and ripping my heart out#they want to say something so bad but also protect the bean bc they're clearly scared and they're gonna freak out but#can they calm the heart down before it runs away?#naff I am not joking this is literally my favorite thing rn#anyway it's almost 2am have a lovely night!!!!#friend fanart#tw blood
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How do u like, do stuff despite it all
i appreciate you saying/thinking so., truthfully, i always feel the impendingdoom reminiscent need/pull/idk to be doing more and doing it better or like i’m not doing anything at all. but i think everyone should give themselves more credit for everything. bc existings hard. i think the main thing that keeps me going is The Love mixed with random energy spikes that allow me to do the stuff i love . aand even if it isss simple or silly like lines on a piece of paper makidng up an anthropomorphic dog person it still sparks joy. maybe it’s like a reward system in my brain. pavlovs furry. i think that’s not what pavlovs dog is idk i’m sleepy i apologize
#i’m also lucky enough to be in a place where i have. basic amenities and lots of time to laze around#if you are courteous to yuorself it is. good#idk i feel like i lost the point this is so rambling sorry#I’m Sorry#if you are waking up and existing i am proud of you#i am proud of any sleepers too sometimes you just need to rest and it’s goo#d#everything is really hard s#i’m so sick rn pls accept my sick hazey head ramblingds pleasereeeeee
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Hey y'all,
We recently found a rabid skunk on the farm today (10/17) and I need to do rabies boosters on everyone. It's caught me off guard, especially in the middle of the month when my SSDI check is pretty much gone, and I just don't have the money to cover this when it's so sudden and pressing to get done ASAP.
No one has to donate, I will definitely try to figure it out, but I was told by friends to ask anyway, so:
COVERED
I will be scheduling the farm vet to come out to do it as that is easiest for me instead of carting 2-3 dogs 40 mins away and taking all day to get everyone done, but it does incur a travel fee. edit: thanks all! got it covered, will be calling the farm vet first thing tomorrow to get him to come out and booster everyone. this has been a NIGHTMARE.
#game warden came with a biologist and took it to dispose of it#literally so scary to deal with#i can also pay people back if you want just give a message and i will figure it out#i AM sorry to ask for this i was in a good place and was saving for black friday and will obviously be using that but it's not enough#and won't cover the entire bill and they're closed rn so idk if they will work with me on it#basically panicking but would rather have the peace of mind to cover it#trying to save for black friday at least but it kept getting used for like “food” and “heating”
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