#I am in the process of watching Multiple streams

[ghosts-and-blue-sweaters]

Shoutout to ycgma 1 yr anniversary stream, u are seriously the best stream ever ☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️

I WANNA WATCH THAT ONE SOON!!! I haven’t seen it yet :0 It looks absolutely lovely though 🥺

[cleolinda]

I’ve read a few of the umpteen thousand upset comments about the paid Watcher service, and I’ve read comments angry about the upset comments. There’s one thing I want to point out, and it’s that this isn’t, or shouldn’t be, “You’re saying people don’t deserve to earn money for their work.”

The Watcher guys do deserve to earn money. I already give them money. I give them $5 a month on Patreon, not because I think they do or don’t give me $5 worth of media, but because I want to support them. I canceled Netflix for pissing me off with its price hike/ad tier, but I give Watcher Entertainment money.

They’re saying now that the Patreon will be solely about the podcasts, and they understand if people leave. I’m perfectly happy to switch the support I can afford to the streaming service. With the early adopter 30% discount, I’d actually save money. In fact, I tried to subscribe, but the site didn’t work.

Watcher wanting to profit from their shows isn’t the problem. It’s that they’re now discovering that their fanbase is young and broke in a terrible economy, judging by tens of thousands of comments on multiple platforms. I can throw them $5/month, so I do. But the Patreon only has (checks notes) 5874 paying followers, and there’s a reason for that. $60/year upfront would not be “accessible.” Patreon is literally patronage from the people who can afford it.

If the guys had said up front, “ONLY new shows and episodes will be exclusive to the service,” I think we’d be having a different conversation right now. But at first they did say, “We’re pulling all our content from YouTube,” to the point where Variety had to issue an update. Like, that’s in print and I’m pretty sure it was on video. Now they’ve backtracked to ONLY new etc.—but most people haven’t heard, and they feel crushed. And the trust is probably gone regardless.

So now four years of back catalogue will stay public. And now, you’re paying $6.99 a month for one episode, maybe two, of something a week, and now, not an exclusive back catalogue. I would pay for Watcher shows before I’d pay for anyone else, but I just don’t think the company is big enough yet for a SVOD at that price. They’re not Dropout size. They needed to build more programming and get a higher follower count first, or at the very least, charge less.

The international price/exchange rate situation is a nightmare and I don’t know what it is they’re not doing to make it… not… be like that.

I don’t know what they should have done instead of a full streaming service, but surely there were alternatives? I’ve seen comments from people suggesting they GET a Patreon. Lean on that more! Do the shows exclusive for a month and then let them roll onto YouTube! I don’t know! Anything but One More Fucking Streaming Service, which enraged me, and I was willing to move my support to it!

And I shouldn’t say this, but I will. In the “Goodbye YouTube” video the guys posted, they say that setting up the streaming service has allowed Steven to do a remake of Worth It where he and his cohosts travel the world and eat expensive food. This is the first new show they announce. Not “We have always been committed to diversity and we’re now able to bring on new creator(s) to expand our programming.” No, a redo of an old show that by definition has got to be expensive. Commenters are saying they can’t pay for the streaming service because they can’t make ends meet in this economy. The optics are terrible. I genuinely question what the thought process even was here.

I love the guys and I still watch their shows. I want to see Watcher succeed. I started watching Buzzfeed Unsolved in 2018 while recovering from surgery—as with a lot of people, their shows got me through a tough time. I’m as attached as anyone. If I can continue to afford monthly support—this is not a certainty—I’ll give it to them. I’m not a ~hater who doesn’t want Watcher to make money. But I am absolutely BAFFLED by every single decision here. I want them to figure out how to turn this around and go in a better direction, because right now, this ain’t it.

[cheolaholic]

ring of love; csc (teaser !!)

the ring doesnt always have to be filled with violence.

modern! au • boxer! au • hhu focused • multiple kinds of tropes • fluff, angst, smut

summary; agreeing to join vernon spectate an underground boxing match wasn't how you'd expect to spend your friday night. you also didn't expect to see seungcheol, someone you've lost contact with for years, become a part of the ring.

contains; boxer! seungcheol, part-time barista! reader, gamer! wonu, part-time model! mingyu, rapper! vernon, vocalist! joshua (he appears for an open mic scene), they're all in college so college! au, psychology major! wonwoo, art major! vernon, art major! mingyu, business major! reader, business major! seungcheol, hhu playing cupid and matchmaker, no second lead syndrome drama kinda shit bcs i said so, childhood friends to lovers, seungcheol and reader lost contact somewhere in their teen years, seungcheol is an absolute simp for reader, multiple types of tropes to be found, seungcheol is rich (like absolutely filthy rich), same goes to the rest of the hhu (they don't flaunt it like how you'd expect most rich kids to do, just that occasionally reader would have a moment of realisation where she goes 'right, they have the money for that'), reader and her family aren't as rich but are well off enough to have a comfortable lifestyle (working middle class) there's fluff, some occasional angst

mature themes include; sexual tension, making out, lazily making out, fingering, oral (f&m receiving), dacryphilia, cheol is filthy rich and has a filthy mouth to go along with it, corruption kink, marking kink, unprotected sex (pls wrap it before you tap it), dom! cheol, sub! reader, light bondage, lots of cussing, etc

a/n; yaho~ ik i've been gone for what, 3 years? but, i am back baby! (read in shane/ryan's voice from buzzfeed/watcher) and first fic ofc, i'm dedicating it to my beloved husband, cheol <33 this fic basically proves my permanent residence in delululand lmao 🥴

click here to join the taglist ♡

"you... want me to join your endurance stream?"

a small hum was met with your question as wonwoo took a sip from his can of black monster energy drink. "...but, why..?" you asked, completely confused.

it wasn't as if you didn't like the idea, though you were caught off guard as the only games you've ever played were... well, more catered towards your style of aesthetic. games such as animal crossing, melatonin, a little to the left.

wonwoo's taste in games on the other hand, they were what you'd expect from majority of the male demographic on earth ㅡ FNAF, first person shooter games, he has a huge obsession with chilla's art games (to which you understand why after watching his playthrough of 'the closing shift' and 'night delivery').

the usual horror, thriller and action genre is what you're getting at.

"reason number one, you're pretty. and no, i'm not trying to hit on you," he then proceeded to raise his hand as if he was taking an oath, "i swear i'm not. i meant it as in, who wouldn't want to watch a pretty girl play games? i know your preferred genre of games and mine are two different worlds but, i'm sure we can compromise."

wonwoo surveys both your surroundings, seemingly to check whether the coast was clear; before propping his arms onto the coffee table and leaning forward.

"reason number two being if you join, i'll be able to get seungcheol to join too."

"so, you're getting me to join so you can get cheol to join?" placing a hand over your chest, you faked betrayal, "i feel so hurt that you're only using me as bait, woo."

"hey, i also want you to join, okay?"

taking a sip from your milkshake, you stared at wonwoo, urging him to continue his explanation.

"___, please. i even had the whole process of the endurance stream planned out! i just need seungcheol hyung to say yes, and you're the key to getting him to say yes!"

"woo, you're friends, of course he'll agree! i don't understand how i play a role in this. i'm sure bantering with mingyu, or even trying a 'no cuss' bet with vernon would be enough to get him to say yes."

shaking his head while sighing, he muttered out a "it's not that simple..."

"woo, i seriously don't get it."

"___, i'm going to be extremely honest, okay?"

you shoot the male sitting front of you a confused look, which prompted him to take a sip of his drink.

"this isn't the first time i've done an endurance stream, i'm sure you know that too. and i'm sure you've seen seungcheol join them but, not all the time. you'll notice it's usually gyu or vernon with me and chat's pretty much made it an inside joke that hyung's a rare pokemon sighting on my streams."

you let out a small laugh at seungcheol being called a rare pokemon sighting, which makes wonwoo smile.

"and, as of late, i've noticed that whenever we hung out, seungcheol would be there too. regardless if he had a match the previous night and his entire body is sore."

"but... we're friends, no? why wouldn't he be there?"

"okay, allow me to rephrase that sentence."

"mmm?"

"seungcheol hyung will only say yes if you're there too."

you're mouth opened slightly, shocked and confused. as you tried to process wonwoo's sentence, he added on.

"and this is just my assumption based on what i've observed from the day vernon introduced you up to now."

"you sound like a psychiatrist, woo..."

"i am a psychology student, no?"

"touché. and what have you concluded from your observation, mr jeon?"

"i think seungcheol likes you."

[gvenevera]

Kuroshitsuji Musical ~ 寄宿学校の秘密 (Secrets of the Boarding School) 2024 ~ VERA’S REVIEW!

Yes you read that right! I’ve had the most fateful chance to watch the very first performance of the newest Kuromyu in Hyogo last Saturday, so I figured I’ll eternalize some of my best memories here.

Before we begin: the LIVE STREAMING is available for the LAST PERFORMANCE, September 29th 2024, HERE! For only 3800 yen, you’ll get to watch it live at home, or watch it later for up to 1 week (October 6th)! Apparently you need a Japanese VPN though, if anyone knows how to navigate the site, please do share.

A few disclaimers from me:

*Anti-shippers DNI. This post barely has any shipping content at all but I don’t like people who harass others over fictional preferences. I’m a shipper, I can’t help being biased for my OTPs.

**Since photos were prohibited in the venue, I’ve included stage pictures featured in official news websites or accounts.

***This is by no means a critical review but merely a fangirl’s ramblings, and I often drew comparisons to the original stage play Kuroshitsuji Musical: Secrets of the Boarding School (2021). For reference, I suggest you watch it first! I intentionally avoided rewatching the 2021 version close to the airing date though, so my memories may not be accurate. Also my Japanese is mediocre so I apologize if there were important dialogues I didn’t catch.

Introduction

I know, sorry for the dilly-dally intro. But I’d like to first stress that ever since I started following Kuroshitsuji in my first year of university (like 9 years ago now lmao), I’ve ALWAYS dreamed to watch the stage musical live in person. When 2024’s performance was announced immediately after the last episode of the anime, I was overjoyed to see that our old cast was coming back.

And it was fate that gave me the opportunity - my scheduled work program this year was set to be in Kyoto AND during September! Needless to say, I had the Kuromyu ticket bought and reserved first, before my confirmation with the Kyoto office or my visa and plane ticket. Priorities, right?

Quick remark on the ticket process: I hit a snag right in the beginning because the ticket reservation website Eplus required a Japanese phone number to sign up. I contacted multiple people (middle school friend whose brother used to work in Japan, another who was quarter-Japanese, several dealer websites with high rate exchanges), until I settled on my roommate’s friend from high school who was currently working there. Many thanks to her and my roommate for the help!

She took care of registration for me - even so the advance sales was a LOTTERY ticket! We fortunately got the lucky draw - I saw many Japanese fans on X who were not so lucky, while others bought in bulk to sell later. Then, I used the online barcode to exchange for a paper ticket when I arrived in Japan on September 1st. That’s when I get to know my seat number - 3rd floor, 2nd row B. A very far position from the stage, but it’s alright because we’re here for the atmosphere anyway!

The performances for the first 2 days were set in Hyogo Performing Arts Center, KOBELCO grand hall. I’ve honestly never been to any kind of music performance (or even concerts) in my life, so I was blown away by the sheer size of the venue.

By 10 AM, the audience was trickling in. I was in awe of the fact that you can tell who was coming in to watch kuromyu - beautiful women dressed in black-and-white tones, many even sporting gothic lolita bows and dresses to keep up with the Victorian England theme. In fact, it felt like the whole of Ikebukuro were gathered here in this very building!

We were ushered into the hall entrance at 11 AM and let me tell you, the crowd was suffocating! In front of the theater, there was a goods section for Kuromyu merch. I’m so glad I took the time to queue up because it seems some of the merch were starting to sell out by the second day. The booth clerk looked perplex to see a non-Japanese customer here though. Here’s how the line looked like, and this was still early before most of the audiences got in:

(We’re not supposed to take any photos but I saw the warning signs too late…Here’s a view from where I was sitting on the third floor.)

I realized then as we were settling in that some ladies around me had binoculars!! Well how was I supposed to know you could bring those here, instead of trying to find those fancy opera glasses!?! Ah well, I was lucky that I’d recently had my prescription glasses updated and the seat to my left was vacant, so I could lean in to see the center better.

The Performance

While it is true that you can barely see the actors’ faces from the balcony seats, it was the grandness of the performance itself that blew me away. For the first time I could see the stage in all its entirety, all the actors dancing in synchronization, and the special effects…oh it had improved A LOT from 3 years prior!

The stage sets for Weston may look a tad “crowded” in the still photo, as compared to the original where they used white backgrounds but in reality, it blended in so prettily with the flashing stage lights. The middle section was a rotating floor and one of my memorable scenes was where Ciel and Sebastian were discussing their plans while crossing the rotating stage, to give the illusion of “strolling across the school grounds.” Sounds like a simple trick but if looked amazing from above.

On to the story itself - the execution actually barely changed from the 2021 rendition, which for me, was a relief! Now I know, some would argue a rerun should add in different elements, because who would want to see the same thing twice right? From past experiences with Kuromyu, the reruns tend to be hit or miss - different actors, different song remixes, voice changes, and so on. For this performance, I could barely tell that the cast (apart from Ciel, Sebastian and Undertaker) were all new members. Everyone got into character flawlessly!

The story of course followed the entirety of the Public School Arc. The script and choreography was almost identical to the 2021 stage musical version. If you would remember, this Kuroshitsuji arc was the first to be portrayed on stage before the anime adaptation - same as previously, they seemed to take inspiration from the manga only rather than the anime.

Some key moments from the play:

The opening sequence was again a recap of the previous arcs - Jack the Ripper (Lycoris that Blazed the Earth), Book of Circus (Noah’s Ark Circus), Book of the Atlantic (Tango on the Campania). I’ve always loved this part because you could tell they slipped in iconic themes from the past musicals.

Perfect Black: the main theme, and my favorite from this stage! I’m so happy to have heard it live! *swoons* Thank god they didn’t do anything weird to remix it. The whole cast dancing together was beautiful! However I thought 2021 did it better with the dramatic light focus on Sebastian during the chorus drop.

Ciel’s Earl of Phantomhive outfit was changed from the glittery blue suit to a blue-green checkered coat this year. (I’d have bought his Earl photoshoot set if I knew it beforehand) Yana-sensei later tweeted that she was the one to re-design it, to better match Eito. Then Eito Konishi himself replied, saying he was honored to play as Ciel Phantomhive, to which Yana-sensei praised his singing and called him “Eito-bocchan” …boy was he fanboying hard over that. He’s one of us!!

Arrival at Weston: I don’t have a comment on the P4 in particular, they were all straightforward from the manga. I think I like Redmond’s character the most here, he looked very pretty with the side-ponytail and while he was a show-off still, he wasn’t as annoying or arrogant as I somehow expected.

A notable interaction: Violet forcing Greenhill to pose for him at the swan gazebo. Greenhill’s actor really looked strained trying to keep an upside down bridge pose (Edward was supporting his back, but kept getting distracted). When he broke the pose and got up, Violet hit him over the head with his sketchbook so hard that the thump echoed through the hall.

As for the Prefect’s Fags: Edward and Cheslock were giving off some suspiciously gay rivals-to-lovers vibes over here. Which I kinda vibed with, I hope they kept the energy into the Blue Cult Arc!

One important thing: they kept the ALL the Fag lines! Which in Japanese accent also kinda sounded like them repeatedly calling each other “Fućk”. Oh how I wish the anime had kept those!

Soma Asman Kadar: now this guy deserves an ovation just for himself. Not only did he kill the role, he was also the funniest! Soma’s song was greatly improved and lengthened with catchier music and dancing - when his troupe “arrived” at Weston, he even dragged Ciel and Clayton to join in. I can’t do it justice, you have GOT to see those two English gentlemen crack the Indian dance moves! His pestering of Maurice Cole was hilarious and he kept exasperating Ciel out of his character, their chemistry was wonderful. I really didn’t expect to get hooked by Soma in this arc out of all people! Too bad Agni wasn’t here.

Maurice Cole’s miniarc - Flawless. Sometimes I wonder if he was an easy character to play just because his character trait is so extremely over-the-top lol.

The library kabedon scene and sebaciel burning Purple House scene didn’t exist. Another scene cut off from the last musical was where Clayton and the Blue House kids were congratulating Ciel on his fag duties and Sebastian took the chance to blend in with them. Sadly that was one of my favorite adlibs.

Ciel’s dream sequence: this was originally in the 2021 musical. After a talk with Macmillain made him revisit his past trauma, Ciel “dreamed” of the cultists, and Sebastian’s close call with Undertaker in BotA. I actually forgot about this part when I watched it in theater - the highlight was sebaciel reenacting the scene in BotA where they reached for each other, the enactment surprisingly gave me the impression of Ciel’s “worry” over Sebastian’s “vulnerability” here. Unlike the 2021 version though, Undertaker didn’t pull Ciel into a bridal carry or referenced the R!Ciel wake-up scene as clearly.

The second half after the break was the long-awaited Cricket Match. Like the previous version, there was no scene of Ciel jumping into Master Michaelis’ arms, but I think they just couldn’t fit that one into the sequence. The cricket songs were mostly the same as the original - with an improvement being them cutting out Red House’s random beauty pageant contest. It actually felt like the cricket match went by faster this time, which was a win in my book. I’ve heard people complain of Kuromyu 2021 being a “Prince of Cricket” musical, hence the bad reviews back then.

The laxative meat pie scene was hilarious. From Sebastian faking it as a student complete with Red House’s uniform, to the team’s diarrhea horrors. Redmond stole the show again, as he was going to help Harcourt in the middle of the field, but tragedy struck which made him deadpan: “Oh. Someone get Harcourt.” Then immediately left the stage lol. The Blue House kids lifted Harcourt out.

The Green vs Purple house battle was the same as last time. I always felt bad to see Cheslock being the only Purple kid doing his best because without any support member cast while Violet was sitting in the grass. But this time, he gave Cheslock a tree sculpture of his bust as a good-job reward! Good for them.

Lastly Green vs Blue. They incorporated the rotating stage again in the last batting when Greenhill accidentally hit Ciel. The end of the match cut straight to the Thames Boat Ride, then they did the Blue House cheering scene after. Sebastian finally got to do his signature bridal carry, awww.

Midnight tea party: the setting was even more beautiful than last time. Undertaker letting his hair fall from his hat was iconic as usual. I was impressed with Master Agares’ fight scenes because his actor looked quite older than his 2021 predecessor. I always liked how they did Derrick Arden’s death in the musical, it felt more anguished from the P4 POV while in the anime, it just felt like a gruesome horror scene.

Final musical number was Ciel-Sebastian-Undertaker chorus during their fight in the garden. Music and choreography seemed to be similar, EXCEPT they somehow changed the iconic “Your life is my priority” scene!!! 2021’s version had me hold my breath as Sebastian had his arm possessively hooked around Ciel and took off his glove with his teeth (seriously, you have to see it yourself). This time they had Sebastian and Ciel reenact the scene on the highest stage instead of front and center, and I didn’t feel as much suspense nor was there any glove-removal from what I could see. It was also a weird placement because they were so far away, and Undertaker should’ve been the one on the top as he did his goodbye pose holding the moon.

We end the story with Sebastian recapping the aftermath with Weston’s students, and finally sebaciel’s conversation back at the manor. Again, Ciel reiterates that Sebastian is the only one who could never lie nor betray his trust. Perfect Black came on as an outro, and I got chills when Sebastian ended the last verse on a raised note!

The curtain call was the experience I’d waited for. Somehow I only realized just then that the actors would do the full call during their finale performance, which was what we got to see in the recordings! That day, after the cast bowed twice, the exit announcement immediately came on but guess what? The audience, including myself, kept clapping all the way through the announcement, it went for so long that the cast actually came out to take another bow! As they returned on stage, most of us also stood up for a standing ovation - according to twitter this doesn’t seem to be a regular occurrence outside of the finale. It felt like a truly wholesome “welcome back” for the troupe and for Kuromyu, especially after the rather harsh criticisms from the previous stage (due to major cast and style changes, even I took a while to bring myself to watch it) and the long break due to the COVID years.

Overall summary

Kuroshitsuji Musical 2024 was a faithful rerun of its predecessor. They succeeded with the musical numbers, new cast, overall adaptation of the story. The settings, props and special effects were wonderfully upgraded. The original cast carried the show: Eito Konishi’s singing felt greatly improved and I thought he carried himself as more mature than his last performance as Ciel. Sebastian’s Toshiki Tateishi had a mesmerizing voice the more I listened to him, he never went out of breath even while dancing or fighting - truly vocals fit for the troupe leader. Kandai Ueda did well as his own Undertaker too, even with Undertaker’s peculiar accent.

My few complaints: I felt like the P4 cast (bar Redmond) could do to have more distinction in their tones and movements. It felt hard to distinguish who was talking at times. The performance seemed to have a faster pacing this time around, and you get less absorbed in certain conversations between the characters, so I wished they’d added in slow scenes here and there. And of course I miss the signature sebaciel moments that I’ve mentioned - granted, this manga arc had always been my least favored because of the lack of sebaciel interactions anyway! So I’d say they did the best with the source material.

While I enjoyed seeing my favorite production performed live with the music blasting through my eardrums, it was the atmosphere that truly made the experience for me. Sitting in the 4-storeys grand hall full of some 2000 Kuroshitsuji fans really pulled me back in time, especially during the standing ovation. I’m so happy to see my favorite series so loved after all these years. I’m sure Yana-sensei could feel it too.

I wish a successful performance for the cast going forward to Tokyo, and hopeful for many more musicals to come!

[the-nosy-neighbor]

Nature's Remedy

Continuing from the discussion of the Joyful album, Devotion:

What about the words of the song?

FRANNY: You’ve got a bud that won’t blossom,

So, I did see someone online make a reference to this, and I wanted to look at it.  Julie’s major problem is that she has a bud that won’t blossom.  Could this be foreshadowing, hint that they have something to do with it not blooming, or instructions on how to proceed?

Grass without the dew,

JONESY: Soil devoid of its riches,

BEA: Cloudy day, no sun in view.

We’ve got three problems listed:  no morning dew/water, soil devoid of nutrients, and poor light.  Each one is the category that one of the siblings is in charge of, listed out below.  This could be emphasizing that there is no spring without the work/talents of all four siblings. It is phrased in terms of which would be their own particular problem. However, we know this isn't the problem with the black flower, as this situation continues after the Springtime Salutations book (I'm presuming that one is first, since that is how the siblings come to Home. Well, Julie and Frank go back to Home on their own, but the siblings are in all of the other material, so it would make sense that Springtime Salutations is the first event.)

FRANNY: You’re confused, you’re lost, you’re worried,

This update has rules of threes all over it. This rule of three is three emotions in a list. It shows up in multiple places in the song. I am highlighting these lists.

JONESY: You’re at your wits end,

BEA: You need an answer to your problems,

Just keep in mind, my friend!

ALL: Just keep in mind, my friend!

This describes Julie’s state of mind as she is confronted with the flower that won’t bloom.  “Keep in mind” might be describing instructions on what to do.  It is interesting to note with these lyrics, we are aware that Julie can’t do her duty of rousing the flowers without her siblings.  Presumably, the opposite is true.  I’m not sure that they’d need to interact for this to happen.  Julie may have done her duties with limited sibling contact in the past, as we know that Frank mentions watching Julie bloom flowers before in the secret videos.  

FRANNY: That rhythm is running through you,

Like water from the stream,

Frost is taking the back seat,

The words are flowing just like a dream.

This has the water imagery associated with Franny–water, frost, flowing.  Dew is heavily featured in her representation. There are also the concepts of dreaming and of rhythm as being inside you.

The beat is slowly turning,

You’ve got to take hold,

The leaves and petals are dancing,

Really gel with these colors, bold!

ALL: Really gel with these colors, bold!

There is something strange about the phrasing here, beat is turning, you have to take hold.  It feels very action-based and physical.  It’s encouraging grabbing it.  I am going to highlight those words that might be physical movements or directional.

Leaves and petals are dancing sounds like the action of the flowers being reinvigorated like Julie does it.  With her singing being the thing that brings things back to life, this sounds like the process.  As for the gel, I am not sure.  Gel and colors makes me think of theatre lighting, but that is probably just me. 

JONESY: Spring into this funky beat!

Listen to these flowers,

Jonesy’s turn.  Listening to the flowers is what Julie does.  Maybe this song is addressed to Julie?

ALL: so sweet!----these lines are repeated a lot, so highlighting it.

(Small musical breakdown.)

JONESY: The trees are swaying, to and fro

So many dancing greens,

Roots-a-kicking and tapping,

You oughta know what I means!

You’re eased, you’re certain, you’re sure,

We’re your nature guides,

Your prayers will be answered,

Just keep right on the sweet upside!

We’re your nature guides coming from the Green man.  Prayers will be answered, makes me think of them as deities or cult members.  Maybe they are part of a nature cult?  There is a second list of the feelings here: eased, certain, sure.  This comes after the description of trees dancing.  Will they answer Julie’s prayers about the flower?

ALL: Just keep right on the sweet upside!

I don’t know what this means.  It’s weird.  Is it a directional?  Right on the upside? Could we think of it instead as something like right=righteous and upside=heaven?

BEA: Spring into this funky beat!

Listen to these flowers,

ALL: so sweet!

Bea’s turn.

(Small musical breakdown.)

BEA: Stop to feel that blowing breeze,

The sun shining through,

Bold rays of hope hitting all,

The joyous foliage too!

No confusion, loss, or worry,

This willow tree won’t bend,

The lack of confusion, loss, or worry is related to the idea of an unbending willow.  Willow trees are kind of known for bending.  If you look it up, it is a defining idea of willows–they bend with the wind but won’t break.  Why go out of the way to say that it won’t bend?  Won’t bend or unbending is a way to describe a person/organization as solid and unchanging, sticking to their principles.

“But what about tomorrow,” you say,

Just remember this, my friend!

The list is here, just with “no” in front.  There is a direction of “stop.”  There is a description of the sun and references to hope and joy, both feelings have religious connotations.  This is talking about being OK, but uncertain about the next day, which we are supposed to remember:

ALL: Just remember this, my friend!

FRANNY: Disoriented and frantic?

JONESY: Are you jonesing for the good?

This is the list of emotions again:  disoriented, frantic, jonesing for the good (jonesing is generally a reference to addiction to drugs, “the good” could mean a religious idea, but could probably mean most anything)

BEA: Just please remember to be,

ALL: Like the entire joyful family would!

(Music culminates and ends.)

Is this suggesting that Julie try to follow family tradition?  We know they are looking for a way to get her back into the group.  Joyful isn’t capitalized, so maybe it is more of a general adjective, which also gives culty vibes. But put simply, the Joyful family would be joyful. So their advice to Julie when confronted with the unblooming flower is:

--listen to the flowers

--keep right on the sweet upside (and they will answer your prayers)

--they repeat remember this my friend! a lot, and it is kind of hard to determine what they are referring to with "this." It mostly goes into a verse that describes their talents, but also has that movement element to it: sweeps through you, the sun shining through, the trees are swaying to and fro. But the final remember this is to "just please remember to be like the entire Joyful family would."

This reflects the portion of the innocenceconstancyaspell video, as julie describes what they do, and Frank points out it is the family motto and they say it all the time:

I will say that this song could be written to describe Julie's emotions:

--confused, lost, worried

--eased, certain, sure

--no confusion, loss, worry

--disoriented, frantic, jonesing for the good

There are two of the same, with one saying that she doesn't have these emotions, which is strange. She seems somewhat eased, etc in the second video but definitely not sure.

these mirror the flower meanings that we found for the code

--tears, remembrance, instability

--innocence, constancy, a pell

--regard, forgetfulness, silence

--temptation, dreams, hope

In Innocence, Constancy, A Spell, Julie goes through lists of flowers, as if they are pet names for this one:

--sunflower, gardenia, lilac

meanings: adoration or haughtiness, secret love or hope, first love (remembrance)

--daffodil, peony, marigold

meanings: regard, shame or bashfulness, grief

She uses "carnation" instead of "tarnation" in one video. Petunia is used in another video, temptationdreamshope.

Most of those flowers are either not in the provided book, already used, or has multiple varieties to choose from. I would assume that it means that the meanings are not what we are after here. However, the theme of emotions being attached to flowers and lists of three makes me feel like something is there. Maybe I should write about the power of 3s.

OK, so I didn't come to a conclusion, but looking at the previous information (Devotion song titles) I thought it needed discussing.

What can we do with this information?

[madi-writes-things]

Nobody Pt. 8

(C.Sturniolo X Reader)

Summary:

Chris and Y/N never seemed to get along, but sometimes help comes from the most unexpected places

Word Count: 627

TW: Cursing, SH (not in detail, but it is talked about), Blood, Hurt Comfort, Panic Attack, Crying, Nightmare (basically the scene from chapter six, but Y/N actually dies 😈…), Not Edited

A/N: I promise it will get happier at some point... sorry it’s short, part nine will be longer 🤭

-Madi <3

“”“”“”“”“”

Chris’s POV (possibly triggering content)

I finally manage to bust the door down, the sight before me brings me to my knees.

nononononono…

Y/N is slouched over in a sea of red, is she breathing? Please be breathing…

I finally crawl over to her, pulling her face up towards me. Her glazed over eyes stare past me. “Baby, please don’t do this… don’t be gone… you don’t have to go… please-.” I pull her lifeless body into mine as I beg her to stay… I can’t do this without her. Every time I try to scream for help my voice fails me… so I just sit with her, praying this isn’t real. This can’t be real.

“”“”“”“”“”

My eyes shoot open when I feel someone shaking me gently. "It's ok... just a dream, it's not real."

I hear her voice before I see her face. When I finally register what is happening, it hits me like a truck. My hands quickly find their way to Y/N's face, making sure that the girl on top of me is actually real... she looks into my eyes like I'm some sort of a hurt puppy. I pull her into my chest, whispering sweet nothings into her hair as tears stream down my face. Once my breathing is under control, I readjust us so that we can go back to sleep.

“”“”“”“”“”

Y/N's POV

Chris's alarm wakes me up, I quickly throw my hand over to turn it off. When I finally allow my eyes to open I see Chris staring down at me, his arms wound tightly around my waist.

“What?” I giggle out, seeing his heart eyes.

“Nothing… just thinking about how lucky I am to be holding you right now.” I can tell that he means it, but a part of me still refuses to accept that anyone could actually love me… especially after what I’ve done. “What going on in that mind of yours?”

I sit up, trying to decide whether or not to bring it up. He just keeps staring, and I can’t stop myself from opening my mouth. “I know that the nightmares are my fault… you don’t have to lie about it.��

The look in his eyes changes from one of unconditional love into something more like horror. I watch him sputter and try to defend himself, and that’s when it hits me.

“I’m not angry…” His head snaps up to meet my eyes. “I just wish that you felt like you could talk to me.” No matter how hard I try, I can’t stop a few tears from rolling down my cheeks.

“Baby… it’s not that I don’t feel like I can talk to you, I just don’t want you to feel like any of this is your fault.” His hand quickly wipes away a tear, before returning his lap.

I burst into tears. “But it is! There is nobody else to blame. Matt can barely look at me, you are having nightmares multiple times a week… and it’s all my fault!”

“Hey!” I’ve never heard Chris raise his voice like this before. “You don’t get to talk about my girlfriend like that… none of what has happened to you is your fault. You have been dealt a shitty hand in life, but you are trying to make the best of it…”

Chris pulls me into his arms, rubbing my back. “Me, Matt, and Nick all have our own shit going on too… but you didn’t cause any of it. Matt has always struggled with his anxiety, and I’ve always struggled with nightmares and processing the things that I’ve gone through.”

I pull back to look into his eyes. “Do you really mean that?” He just nods, the hearts returning to his eyes.

“”“”“”“”“”

@unbruisable @bernardsbendystraws @sturniolo-fann @jnkvivi @stasiesturn

@h3arts4harry @slutforsturniolos

[havenesc]

4, 10, 19 and 20 for the ask game!!

(meta asks for writers)

4. Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you're really proud of (explain why, if you'd like)

someday soon i'm going to clean up this smut and take the sap out of it and post it but i just think this specific passage for a night watch fic was pretty nice. i think jason loves with all he has. i think he can get very black and white about how he feels about things and he's all or nothing because he's a guy who is just always kind of subtly begging to be loved as much as he loves. which is a lot. sex in general isn't something that he seeks out, even less so from a place of casual hooking up, and he's not sickeningly in love with percy yet -- but he does WANT him. he wants that connection, he wants that physical closeness, he doesn't know how to be normal a day in his life and he's not about to start that shit now.

10. How would you describe your writing process?

depends on what it is! if it's a oneshot that only has one or a couple of scene sets, i'll just wing it and go with the flow. if it's a longfic usually i put together a rough outline/stream of consciousness for how i want to to progress, then i'll split it up by chapters/add notes for worldbuilding. both options still need me to sit and marinate them in my brain to see if i actually want to put in the effort to write it lol.

and then i usually will write fairly linear -- i have a lot of issues with writing chunks and bridging them together, because i usually introduce little nuances that change smaller details down the road and have to end up rewriting what's already been written. sometimes i will write pockets of dialogue or character meta that i want to keep, and they go in a separate doc for dropping in later.

19. Is there something you always find yourself repeating in your writing? (favorite verb, something you describe 'too often', trope you can't get enough of?)

HMMMMMMM this is a good question. i don't think it will make it into more than one fic bc i've been Catching It but i started to describe anxiety as being a stone that sears out of your chest and works its way into your stomach. that very specific comparison showed up in two other WIPs after i wrote it the first time and i had to kill it in at least one of them fdibgdb

20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you've included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

okay i've been rambling more about this lately to friends already and there are. fat spoilers for rancher au so i'm putting this under a cut in case anybody wants to avoid for whenever i eventually kick it out the door <3<3

bruce as it stands is a difficult character for me to grasp on a good day, and that has been a large part of what is making this chapter for ibgitd (and future ones, I'm sure) go so slowly. big thank you to M for all your help and letting me throw spaghetti to see if all my ideas seem like they would stick. i have been agonizing over choices that this guy would make, ones that would directly alter key plot points.

bruce makes a choice, in a very vital moment, to save dick rather than a copycat "jason", and by extension a slew of gcpd also suffer the consequences of this choice. the trolley problem is something i will sit and think about for a while as a thought exercise, and i introduce it here -- if he saves dick, he fails to save multiple people, if he figures out how to save multiple people, dick dies, if he's too slow or refuses to make a choice, everybody dies and it's over in short order. when it is clearly a do-or-die situation, it is dick he chooses.

on a surface level, it's a clear "this is my eldest who i am crazily codependent on and therefore my favorite of course i'm going to save him" moment. but jason has been failed before. jason is being failed again, even unknowingly. jason is not going to be bruce's first choice -- and it is not because bruce does not love him. bruce has already watched his son die once, twice, now a third time, because of choices he actively made that did not prioritize him. jason's first death and his batarang death (i personally do hold fast to the idea that it was a murder, regardless of if bruce is aware of that or not, because this is bullshit dc comics and i think it's narratively a more interesting choice re:pit mechanics) were failures on bruce's part.

jason is a priority for bruce in some ways, but he is not THE priority for bruce. in some way bruce has already watched the son he lost die. the son he got back was different. it didn't look like the boy he loved. i reiterate again that bruce does not hate jason, or at the very least loves him in some capacity, but it is not the same kid he mourned. his perogatives are different, his methods are ones bruce would never use, he is unrepentantly violent. jason is used to being a second third fourth or later choice.

bruce has learned how to operate without him. but he cannot, under any circumstances, operate without dick grayson in his peripheral. he just can't. not as a functional person. dick also has had to learn to live without jason, even if he was more proactive on learning how to live alongside this new one, and he can never not be at bruce's beck and call.

idk if any of this is articulated well or appropriately -- i keep dozing it's been a long day LOL -- but just in exploring the themes of rancher, which are so much about separating yourself from what you knew about your personal identity and self worth, especially the things curated for you by your father.... i don't know! i just think this particular piece of it is a good callback to canon events, even for a canon divergent piece like this, and it will be reiterated in different ways.

[blu3-ja3]

Chapter 6

Jillian's POV

I'm going to die, I know I am, there's no way for me to avoid this. I can feel my soul being carved away and replaced. Everything around me is fading slowly to that dark familiar abyssal feeling. I don't remember closing my eyes, I don't remember opening them but I do. When I open them she's there again. At least I won't be alone when I die.

"I won't let you die my child, I did not allow such to happen to my second bird I shall not let it happen to you," her voice is layered like a million different people are whispering at once when she talks. It's unsettling but comforting... Like everything about her.

I see the strange shifting feminine face slowly fades into view, I watch in shock and surprise as a hand reaches out for me. It gently grabs me and moves me forwards or at least I think it does. It's impossible to tell if I'm moving because Gotham's form doesn't grow or shrink but she looks like she's the same height as me. It makes me feel weird and nauseous, I think I've closed my eyes because when I open them I'm bathed in a silvery purple glow.

It's only then that I noticed I haven't been glowing as brightly as before. Looking towards the source of the glow I see it's coming from Gotham. The shifting of her features has seemed to slow down and is now becoming one featureless face.

I watched as another massive hand reached above me, a golden thread dimly shimmering appears. One finger gently caresses it and something deep within me is touched and I can't help but to shiver on instinct. Then there's a harsh pull. I can feel something snapping and distantly I recognize the feeling. My soul isn't tethered anymore, not just to my body but to whatever vessel I inhabit when in this strange realm.

I can't even begin to describe how devastating it feels I feel like I've been set adrift with nothing to grasp onto. Looking up at the once golden thread I watch as it slowly begins to crumble away becoming silver ash that slowly drifts down around me. It continues until all the gold fades and silver floats and drifts around me.

"Like my little Robin you will be shattered but I will put you back together," I watch as an inky black cloud swirls around her. She's done this before?

"Not this exact ritual but something similar. There is a difference," I watch as the cloud gathers all the silver. I look up towards the source of the light bathing my form. How is this different? Why can't it be the same as before?

"The difference is this: a part of me will be bound to you. Too much has been carved away, if I could simply reformed you I would. I will only be with you for a temporary amount of time, until you are strong enough to reform what is missing,"

I try to ask another question but the feeling of something grabbing me from behind shocks me as I'm plunged into the familiar sensation of bitter cold taking over every sensation. Then the blistering pain of returning to consciousness takes hold and I begin to weep. The pain becomes too much and the fragile tether I have to consciousness is cut...

Bruce's POV

Another quake rocked the ground under our feet just as the rest of the make shift team approached. I'm surprised to see Dick's initial titans team making an appearance but having another practitioner of magic could be helpful. As it stands Constantine knows as much as I do about what's happening on the surface.

We encountered a few of the strange rifts as we moved closer to the abandoned manor, they were small so John was able to close them with very little effort. From what Barbara has told me over comms Raven has closed multiple very large rifts and in the process she thinks she knows what these creatures are. She also briefly implied that several of the rogues of Gotham were fighting the strange creatures.

We do have to fight our way through the strange creatures, it seems like a constant stream of these creatures but they're easy enough to take out. The problem is the amount of them and how frequently they seem to appear. We make it to a larger rift and Raven steps up, her magic pulses as she chants.

Reaching up she grabs the edges of the rip and begins to pull them together, Constantine steps to the side and begins speaking Latin and the rift begins to mend itself where Raven has pulled it together. After a minute the rift disappears and the two step away. Raven turns to Constantine and gives a small nod of her head and says a quiet thank you to the man.

"Raven, I was informed by Oracle that you have a theory about these creatures," The cloaked girl looked at me then she looked towards Constantine beside me.

"Well it's common knowledge that Gotham is... Weird," she gestures vaguely around the area before continuing, "Magic here is strange and no one born here is affected by passive magic the same way normal humans are," she gestures to Dick who just shrugs.

"Even the rate at which meta humans are found within your city is... Well it's incredibly low not even simple meta abilities," I look to Constantine as he spoke and raised a brow, he raised his hands in mock surrender and laughed.

"What I was saying, Gotham and its people are strange and easy to spot by outsiders," Raven continues ignoring Constantine, every non Gothaminte nods in agreement.

"What does that have to do with anything?" I ask as we approach the outside of the house.

"I think these might be Gotham citizens or something adjacent, they react like Gothaminte's to magic," I turn to Constantine who nods in agreement.

"We react weirdly to magic?" Selina asks and Dick gives the same quizzical look.

"It's a strange phenomenon that only seems to affect long term residents of Gotham so yes. Magic also reacts weirdly in Gotham so it's definitely something to do with Gotham itself and its residents." John nods in agreement with Raven's words while everyone continues to move towards the manor.

Once close enough everyone can see the small army of creatures and numerous rifts open with more stepping out. While no one said anything they all turned to me with the not at all unexpected expectation that I had a plan. I did of course have a plan I have multiple but it never fails to surprise me how often people turn to me for a plan.

The plan itself was simple, we were splitting into two groups. Selina and I will be entering into the manor itself to try and find where Amanda has Jillian and the others are to close any rifts they find.

Selina and I move quickly using a large oak tree near the side of the house to climb into a window on the second floor. Slipping inside it's dark, the room we're in is covered in dust and all of the furniture has sheets covering them.

Moving towards the door there's the faint sound of a woman's voice chanting, I open the door just enough for myself to slip through. Selina easily slips through behind me, together we slowly creep through the hall and towards the stairs. As we creep closer towards the chanting I stop in my path as a man walks past the staircase and towards the front room.

Quickly we follow behind him and stop just before entering into the dining room where the woman's voice is loudest. I pull a small rod from my belt, it extends and bends as I maneuver so it looks around the corner. I look down at the small holographic screen that appears with a live video feed.

On the table chained and bare is the starved form of Jillian Rodriguez, the familiar strange symbols carved into the other girls are also carved into her but hers are glowing. There are more than just one line of symbols on her skin, her entire body has brightly glowing ruins. The only place yet to be covered is the girl's face and a large circle in the center of her chest.

The woman from before Amanda Rosenberg is hunched over the girl as she continues to paint symbols onto the teen's skin while chanting. The woman stops for a moment as the man in glasses begins to speak.

"You were right my lady, the rest of the vessels did not last as long as this one," the man reached out and tried to touch the teens cheek only for the woman to reach out and smack away his hand.

"I assume they reacted the same as the previous tests? Did you dispose of them in your haste to fail me?" The woman glared at as the man gave a curt nod of his head. Seemingly satisfied the woman goes back to chanting and painting.

The man turns away and begins to walk back towards us. Pulling away my camera I turn to Selina with a silent question. She nods as I reach into one of my pouches and pull out a single smoke pellet. I hold up three fingers and begin counting down to one.

As soon as my last finger goes down we both spring from around the corner, I throw the singular smoke pellet down and rush towards the man. Instantly I tackle him and begin to punch, it doesn't take many after the third punch the man is unconscious. Standing quickly as the smoke dissipates I make direct eye contact with the scared woman.

She has the unconscious body of Jillian held against her, her left hand is glowing an ominous sickly green. Jillian's entire body is still glowing as Amanda continues chanting. She smiles a crazed wild smile as she moves towards the dark rip in space to her right.

"Wait! What is she becoming a vessel for?" I know fanatics like to talk and if anything Constantine has told me is true this woman is the biggest crazed fanatic out there.

"Not what. Who!" The woman's crazed smile widens as she continues, "You should be thanking me, I will bring your beloved Gotham to the light! She will be free and her gifts will be ours for the taking!"

"Gotham City?" Selina asks her voice tinged in confusion.

"Not exactly, Gotham has an old history. Roots that run deep, soaked in strange happenings," the glowing of her hand slowly fades but Jillian's body doesn't.

"Did you know Gotham is cursed? It's an ancient thing that ruined quite a few things!" Amanda's tone has taken an almost song quality to it as she continues, " One such thing is the imprisonment of our Lady Gotham!"

"And you want to free her..." Amanda smiles and nods enthusiastically at Selina, I move closer slowly hoping that I can reach Jillian. Selina has also started to move closer when Amanda refocuses on me

"And where is she, Gotham?" Selina asks again pulling Amanda's attention away from me. Amanda's smile lights up and becomes something darker.

"Let me show you!" I lunge forwards trying desperately to grab Jillian, I manage to tackle Amanda and shove Jillian aside. But in the process I fall through the rift with Amanda. I distantly hear Selina screaming before it's completely cut off.

I look around myself and see nothing, I can't even see Amanda. It's darker than drifting through the void of space because at least in space there's other things. Here there's nothing but darkness. I have no clue how I'm going to get myself out of this. I don't think I can... So I wait.

Part 1 /// Previous /// Next

Cursed Gotham Masterpost

[pomefioredove]

I would’ve voted for Quasimodo anyway, but this is a nice bonus! I’d love a sweet flavor matchup.

Pronouns: She/Her

Personality: Probably the most important thing is I have ADHD and OCD, meaning I am a scattered ball of anxiety the vast majority of the time. I start a lot of projects, but rarely finish them. When I get hyperfixated on something it will be all I talk about, regardless of if the person I’m talking to actually understands what I’m talking about (though it’s nice if they do understand). Though it’s very difficult for me to start working on things that aren’t my current interest, once I do get started it’s even more difficult to get me to stop working. I end up being extremely productive, but have a tendency to overwork myself on accident as a result (what’s a break?). My memory is awful, and I have major time blindness problems, so I prefer to not schedule things when possible. I am either the most talkative or the quietest person in the room at any one time. If there’s only one person around, I can talk a lot, but if there is more than one person around, I get much quieter. Add 2 or 3 more people and I will only speak when spoken to. (Despite this, I’ve always been very good at public speaking, to the point where I kind of enjoy it sometimes.) My ADHD causes me to have many sensory issues, primarily with hearing and smell, so any large events overstimulate me very quickly. Because of this, I generally get a lot of anxiety in public, so I’d probably just stay in my room all day if I could. I pride myself on being very smart, at least in academics. Though I was good in other subjects in school, math and science were always my preferred subjects, cause I like numbers (thus why I’m studying to become an engineer!). I like the idea of taking care of someone (cooking for them, doing other chores for them, just helping out wherever I can), but considering my memory, it’s easiest if someone tells me what they need so I can do it right away, rather than them expecting me to remember or know without being told. I’m incredibly stubborn in arguments, and can get very angry very quickly. But, I never hold those arguments against someone. I am equally forgiving as I am stubborn, and can forgive someone for almost anything (to a concerning degree, according to friends lol). Emotionally, I’m quite sensitive, and I cry whenever I feel basically anything. But I’m also very empathetic and emotionally intelligent. I can usually tell when someone is feeling upset, and I’ll do whatever I can do make them feel better. I’m a very curious person. If I don’t know the answer to something, I’m looking it up immediately, and probably falling down a rabbit hole in the process. Finally, my sense of humor is that I am made of sarcasm. No jokes from me, just pure sarcastic remarks. I’m generally being sarcastic a good 50% of the time lol.

Hobbies: Gaming and content creation (live streaming, video editing, but basically an extension of gaming) primarily. Also reading, writing, and singing, though I do that less often now. I also like cooking and baking, but only if no one is watching me (idk why).

Likes: Music, gacha games (I have an addiction), anything purple, math, physics, roller coasters, owls, plushies, other cute things.

Dislikes: Bugs (terrified of them), loud noises, driving, showering (baths are fine, showers suck), hot days, parties.

Extra fact: Though I’m not diagnosed, we’re pretty sure I have POTS (since my heart rate gets concerningly high when I stand up). I haven’t fainted yet, but I’ve gotten close on multiple occasions. (It’s why I hate hot days, since heat makes the symptoms worse)

What I’m looking for in a partner: Someone who shares some of my interests, since I really struggle to bond with someone if they don’t. Though it’s also nice if they have at least one interest that they’re passionate about that I don’t know anything about. I like hearing my partner talk about things they’re passionate about, and I like learning about new things. Also someone who understands that I need alone time sometimes. Finally, someone who is satisfied with just existing in one another’s presence. Not necessarily talking or doing something together, but just existing in the same space while we do things separately. Though I’d like doing things together sometimes, I mostly just like them being there while I do my own thing.

That should be basically everything you need to know, and way more, probably, but I felt like being thorough lol. I’m excited to see what you decide! (Sorry for all the reading)

I match you with 𝐈𝐝𝐢𝐚 𝐒𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐝!

Overview

I was nodding along thinking of Rook until you said you'd like someone who shares your interests- and then I thought, oh, that is SUCH an Idia thing to say. there's no faster way to his heart than through his hyperfixations!! you've got a lot going for you- sarcasm, engineering and gaming, video editing, yada yada, you get me! I think Idia is also the king of saying Exactly What He Wants, no more no less, he hates the manipulative tactics of NRC students just as much as anyone ought to, and he wouldn't wish missing a social cue on his worst enemy... I think you could work something out (also sarcastic and smart and purple... I immediately thought of megara hehe)

The Relationship

speaking of! Idia's got a pretty set mind, he's good at mental organization, and he's got a good memory, so he'd be more than happy to help you with yours, should you need it! in exchange for taking care of him, of course, because someone's got to remind him to eat more than once a day. he would be really good about your sensory issues (I like to think he has a lot of his own!) and you'd just never run out of things to talk about, considering the shared interests and all! and, of course, he's always more than happy to just chill- he needs his quiet time, too

Secondary Suggestions

Rook Hunt :P

[mcytcontent]

Hello.

This is my personal analysis of the recent situation about Wilbur Soot and Shelby Shubble. (I don’t want anyone to go to extremes and insult any of the streamers/youtubers)

I tried to stay as neutral as possible to write this analysis.

I also want to say that I have been following Wilbur for a long time (4 years) and in this situation I already have the right to my word. (After one comment. I follow Wilbur 4 years, not watching)

Tumblr has a limit on photos, so I divided it into parts.

I am not dependent on Wilbur, but I support him. I'm not a big fan of him at all. I stopped watching all MCYT for 2 years after the death of Technoblade, and before that I didn’t really watch Wilbur a lot.

(1/4) over parts on my profile

First I want to attach my time calendar that I made to highlight important moments for 2021-2024

Let's start from the very beginning, namely with Shelby's stream about her experience in an abusive relationship.

Immediately after the rumors began to spread, Shelby decided to delete this stream. You won't be able to find it on her Twitch channel. But fortunately or unfortunately you can view his recording on YouTube (This video has been blocked or made restricted. Unfortunately, I didn’t find another neutral recording without any additional information from the author of the video, but you can watch the stream using another link, but I want to warn you that the subsequent indications of the time of this stream in my post are the same as the original Shelby stream and not this one from YouTube.)

First we will start with the inconsistencies in the Shubble story from this stream.

I keep trying, and it's unfortunate that a lot of my dating history there were a lot of bad people that tried to manipulate or control me, but that's not to say that every person that I've dated has treated me poorly, some people just weren't the right. (3:59-4:19)

‌I never thought that I could be the kind of person to end up in a situation like I did. I never thought that could happen to me and so, for me this is important, because it could help anybody else see the signs sooner than I did. (4:40-4:55)

‌ I just thought I was so much smarter. I was like if someone ever laid their hands on me I'd leave immediately, it would never happen a second time, but it just kind of happened so slowly over time, and got worse and worse until the point where there's no way to deny, the fact that he was hurting me and he knew, and didn't care...» (30:52- •••)

The inconsistency in this case is that Shelby at the very beginning said that she had quite a large number of people who used her, but in the end she said that she did not think that she would be used a second time.

Speaking out about my bad experiences has never felt as important as it does right now, because silence has always brought me peace, and this time it feels like my silence is not keeping my peace, it's only keeping somebody else's peace it feels like my silence is not keeping my peace, it's only keeping somebody else's peace. (4:21-4:39)

Shelby has had a lot of bad people in her life. At the beginning of the stream, she said that she really likes to share her experience, but she decided to talk about abusive relationships only now. She rarely talked about other relationships, the only thing we know from her past relationships is that her first boyfriend raped her and she dated some youtuber/streamer guys.

It took me 10 months after to heal. I spoke with multiple therapists and tried different forms of therapy. I tried sematic therapy, that one was actually really good for me. That one actually helped me release a lot of um builtup anger I was having over the last year. (5:40-6:06)

How come Shelby was in therapy and said the name wrong? Shelby said that she went to Sematic Therapy, although there is only Somatic Therapy, and Somatic Therapy is aimed at processing the reaction to fear attacks and removing them, and not at releasing anger.

Somatic trauma therapy — a psychotherapeutic approach to working with symptoms and conditions such as attacks of fear (“panic attacks”), acute reactions of grief, loss, and post-traumatic reactions (PTSD). The primary goal of SE is to modify the stress response associated with trauma through bottom-up processing.

But the most important thing is why Shelby went to different therapies, why didn’t she settle on one specific one that helped her. There may be several options, but the most possible is that Shelby was not helped by the therapies she went to.

I shared my story with a lot of friends after I started talking to therapists. (6:25-6:30)

‌I was so mad at myself, because I was lying to a certain point to protect this person, because I knew that if I told my friends the truth it make him look really bad. (7:16-7:28)

‌«... and that's not anybody's fault because I was lying and it wasn't fine, because I would go home later and I tell him how uncomfortable I was...» (from Shelby's twitter post)

‌I have though caught him in lies before, but usually it was small stuff, and I again, I didn't want to it wasn't anything that ever seemed worth rocking the boat over, which isn't normal for me, I hate lies. (16:44-16:58)

‌I ended up lying for him, but he had lied about big things and he had also been caught lying by his friends numerous times, so this is something that he feels is acceptable to do. (16:59-17:11)

‌I abandoned my personal morals, neglected friends and lied for this person.

Shelby first says that she told the whole story to her friends while she was in therapy, but then she herself says that she lied during the story to protect Wilbur. And then she claims that she went against her principles because she hates lying.

She later says that Wilbur always lied about small things, but then refutes this by saying that he lied about more important things.

He always cared more about how it looked and that was really important not what was true and it was really subtle. (7:37-7:48)

Wilbur never hid his inclinations, people just romanticized him too much because he was handsome and a musician.

When I hear about physical abuse I think of hitting and punching, so I thought that this wasn't violent enough. (7:54-8:05)

‌He's not hitting me and it didn't start as something that he did to hurt me that he did to hurt me, he had this habit of biting, which is so weird to me now, but he said that he had this habit since he was a kid and even his mom said that was true and he said it was just affectionate and that might have been. I mean, I think that might have been true maybe at the start, but I also feel that I have good reason to believe that every part of it was a lie but that's just my personal opinion. (8:16-8:46)

‌I had no problem with just biting, that isn't even the most uncommon thing, but he did mention something early that I should have taken as a red flag, and he wanted to make sure that I was okay with him biting me because he didn't want me to come back later and say that he abused me, which I thought was really weird, considering he had never hurt me before and so why would I call it abuse and why was he thinking about that. (8:47-9:16)

Physical abuse — the use of physical force and violence, beatings, assault with the aim of subordinating the behavior of the victim, fulfilling the demands of the aggressor.

Daknomania (from ancient Greek δάκνω - to bite, μανία - attraction, passion, madness) is a tendency to bite others and oneself. Over time, due to imperative (verbal) hallucinations, as well as Kandinsky-Clerambault syndrome, it can transform into an impulsive and also violent tendency.

According to psychotherapist Andrei Khavanov, the desire to bite, pinch, beat a person for whom there is an acute attack of love is widespread and seems to depend little on the cultural context. This phenomenon is called cute aggression.

«He disguised it as this really quirky part of our relationship and was so comfortable sharing it with his friends, to the point that he would do it in front of them, he thought it was this really funny story to tell and a good bit to take my arm and bite me in front of everybody until I literally shout in pain and then I have to laugh it off because I'm so embarrassed and I don't want to cause a scene in front of all of our friends and I'm sure everyone was a little bit uncomfortable, but as long as I was saying that it was fine nobody really felt like they needed to be concerned... » (10:38-•••)

At first Shelby says that Will's friends were there, but then she says that their friends were there.

«... and that's not anybody's fault because I was lying and it wasn't fine, because I would go home later and I tell him how uncomfortable I was, how much I didn't like being hurt all the time and I needed him to really stop biting so hard, I didn't like it and I tried telling him over and over again, he said this is who he is he isn't going to change those. (•••-11:40)

‌I was constantly nauseous gagging daily, on occasion throwing up, because of the pit that was in my stomach, I never told him about that, though I was going and running away quietly to throw up in the toilet and rejoin our group of friends. (13:19-13:34)

‌That's just the kind of thing that I keep repeating to myself when I'm like "But was it bad enough, what it wasn't violent enough", but I was being hurt multiple times every single day for a month at a time in a row at a time in a row, and I'm not even speaking on most...»

‌Entirely why he switched to biting my legs, so no one would think I looked abused. But he continued to hurt me. (from Shelby's twitter post)

‌My issue was not with being bit. It was with being HURT. (from Shelby's twitter post)

‌I loved him and he told me he'd try to stop hurting me.(from Shelby's twitter post)

Shelby herself hid the fact that she was vomiting because of the bites.

Shelby, when she was dating Wilbur, thought that biting wasn't that bad. And if Shelby was against biting, she would not have given him her legs. When you can just grab your arms, you need to stretch out your legs so you can bite. And as Shelby herself said, Will never hit her, but only bit her. Also, Will tried not to bite her as much as he claimed.

Other people with the same problem say that the force of the bite is difficult to control.

This is Google translation since I am not an English speaker and English is not my 2-nd language

In fact, he was telling me the exact opposite every day, he would tell me he still wanted to be together, he wanted to work on all of the problems, he wanted me at the end of everything, he did not want to break up, he made that very clear. (16:27-16:40)

Shelby says that Wilbur changed his mind every day, but she only lists what he said before, and then that he repeated it every time and never changed his mind. Wilbur also did not hide the fact that he had problems, he even promised that he would work on them.

He said that the relationship was starting to feel like a responsibility towards the end. So it wasn't a responsibility the whole rest of the time to him and he was at this point basically flaunting that he would never prioritize me over anything. I wasn't even asking for literally even the bare minimum, I was asking for so little and I was watching him give exactly what I was needing in the relationship all over the place to anybody else who just happened to ask and just wasn't me. (18:39-19:24)

‌He was never going to prioritize me over anything over anything that would give him more fame or money in fact, he said that himself, that was exactly why he was not going to compromise at all for a solution, for us to be together, because he said he wanted to see how much fame and money he could get. (19:30-19:51)

Neglect, neglect; lack of attention to someone or something, lack of proper care for someone or something.

It can also be noted that being on stage was Wilbur’s most cherished desire since childhood and giving up all his dreams for someone is quite stupid (in my opinion (surveys on the Internet also confirm that the majority are of the same opinion)).

I'm good at remembering words and especially his wording I became really good at remembering, because he was constantly contradicting himself. (11:51-11:58)

‌I now struggle with memory problems and extreme anxiety. (from Shelby's twitter post)

Shubble herself said that she has memory problems.

I didn't even want to, because I couldn't even see for such a long time after what it really was that had happened, that he had abused me and in fact we left things, as we want to be friends and he can never imagine not speaking to me again, and then he never spoke to me again outside of like a couple of exchanges where I needed to ask for my clothes to be shipped...»

Abusive relationships — relationships in which a partner violates the personal boundaries of another person, humiliates, and allows cruelty in communication and actions in order to suppress the will of the victim. In this type of relationship, the victim and the aggressor do not change places; the victim, for a number of reasons, cannot leave this relationship.

Shubble said that she and Wilbur no longer communicated or even corresponded. Shelby left Will around the time his concerts started, but she was still in touch with him. For example, her Instagram, December 15, photo with some members of LoveJoy, Quackity was also present in the photo, on the same day there was a Vine stream 22.

From there we can understand that Shelby and Wilbur were still seeing each other -> clip of the song cmwyl February 10, 2023, where Shelby present.

Later, Shelby said on the stream that their relationship ended in January 23, which completely coincides with her story about Wilbur’s trips, and the fact that they could not see each other from several days to a month.

«...I didn't block him till 10 months later because I wanted an open door still, I really thought I wanted to be his friend.

The entire time she was in therapy, she did not block Wilbur, despite the fact that he “abused” her. She also admits that she still considered him her friend.

I stayed locked in a house I had no key for and didn't even try to leave anymore. People ask why we stay, and it's so hard to explain ourselves because we've abandoned all our reasoning. (from Shelby's twitter post)

Shelby, if she wanted, could open the window and escape.

Shelby herself admits that she did not want to leave home. By house, Shubble could mean an apartment. Although this is still strange, since Wilbur, according to her, had ants. This does not happen really much in apartments, and there cannot be 2 or more baths in an apartment. It follows that Wilbur had a house, and if it was a private house, then Shelby could easily climb out of the window if he locked it, or call the police.

In one LoveJoy vlog, Shelby can be heard in the background asking Will for the keys to the house, he gave them to her, which confirms that she did not have keys to the house.

I do believe he was bottling up so many emotions and he would never talk about how he felt, I think he admit that he felt, like, he couldn't say it any sooner, like there was just no possible way to say how he was feeling sooner than the absolute last possible chance like not even a chance. (22:09-22:27)

The template on the stream confirmed that she did not know what Will was thinking, and that he was very good at restraining his emotions.

There was this one time that he pinned me down and asked me to try my absolute hardest to get him off of me and I couldn't do it obviously and he said something to make the point that he was so much stronger than me, that I wouldn't be able to fight him back. (23:25-23:42)

Shelby isn't the only one Wilbur has pushed against the wall. The most famous example is Niki. (I won’t talk about this topic because I don’t know Wilbur and I’m not a psychologist and it’s not for me to judge his actions)

He had stopped giving anything to the relationship and he said that why was, because he was just waiting for things to change on their own. (23:57-24:05)

‌He said he also didn't have the time or energy anyway to do the things that I was asking for, but then would constantly make any bit of time and energy for anybody and anything but me, and he would say he wanted more quality time, so then I would try to arrange things for us to do online, because we were long distance, but then he would complain, he doesn't want to spend all of his time on the computer anymore and then we'd be there in person, and all he wants to do is stay inside, play games on his computer, watch movie, he doesn't want to go out, and I'm not saying any of this next part to be mean. (24:06-24:44)

‌He lived in filth, I've seen filth, this was the worst, he would spill things on the floor and never, literally never, clean them up, he got an ant infestation once and wasn't going to do anything about it, because he said bugs are normal in British houses, so I had to buy ant killer. He wouldn't clean his bathroom for months and months, but would constantly complain about how bad it smelled and I would tell him that's mold. He complained about being tired all the time, too which, I don't know if that was a lie or not, but mold will do that too, but he would insist that it wasn't somehow without having cleaned in months, but it's not mold. (24:45-25:36)

Mild depression is characterized by the presence of several symptoms over several weeks or months. In this case, patients often experience a feeling of fatigue, insomnia, loss of interest in life and activities, bad mood, and decreased self-esteem.

2021, Fundy`s vlog, Wilbur's house - bathroom, 2:49 minutes. From the footage we can see that this is Wilbur's personal bathroom. Only that the window in the next room was broken and a piece of wallpaper in the bathtub itself was torn off.

In 2021, Wilbur also began coming to therapy.

When I met him, he was washing his clothes without detergent, just wasn't using that at all and I don't know for how long before I met him he was just running it with water and then hanging it on his filthy kitchen cabinets, and I felt bad, because I felt like he needed someone to help him learn how to be cleaner, I thought he just didn't know how and I listened to all of the struggles of his upbringing, and I was like, he just doesn't know how, someone just needs to show him. (25:39-26:08)

Negligence — a form of violence when the vital needs of a person that he cannot provide on his own are systematically ignored.

Wilbur also said that when he lived with his father, he slept on the same mattress on the floor with his dog, did not bathe too much and slept in his school uniform.

But not more disrespectful than not even saying my name. I believe I am referred to as "ex girlfriend" so if you don't know who he's talking about, you might not find out what he did.

From the outside it is clear that he does not want to touch on this topic on the entire Internet; if it is discussed, then it should be discussed in person in front of each other. Also, at the beginning of his tweet, he wrote that those who read this probably know that they began to accuse him of abuse. And who could not know about this, if it was literally in the top search results on Twitter for several days. Moreover, this spread so much that even some Chinese began to insult Wilbur without knowing the full situation.

If Wilbur had started addressing Shelby on a first name basis, he would have also been confronted about why he was so careless about her name after all.

Of all the possible options, Shelby chose to make it public that she was abused and gave too obvious hints about this person to the entire Internet. She wanted to take revenge on the man. She clearly said it herself

«...because silence has always brought me peace, and this time it feels like my silence is not keeping my peace, it's only keeping somebody else's peace it feels like my silence is not keeping my peace, it's only keeping somebody else's peace...»

She directly said that she wanted revenge. And in the end she just got hyped, and in 11 days with 967k she got 1m on her YouTube in a 10 year career.

The company that presented the Shubble merch went bankrupt, and as a result, the merch still has not arrived to some people who have already paid for it.

Shelby’s fans also started spamming everywhere so that people would support the YouTuber with subscriptions rather than words.

⬆️ screenshot taken on March 29th. A month ago, Shubble had 469,705 followers.

[qpenpals]

First of all, support Shubble and support all victims (which is a statement that while said a lot, seems not be followed as frequently, however i hope those who read this abide by it)

Second, I don’t support wilbur soot/william gold, and I don’t think that anyone should after this.

Third, while this situation is not about me, i have feelings and opinions about it that i would like to share, but even if you don’t read anymore,

Please watch shelby’s vod, and maybe try checking her content out, because while i don’t frequently watch her, i enjoy her streams and maybe you will too! her new hardcore series sounds great :)

This is quite long, but honestly this is kind of just for me to collect my thoughts, however if you read to the end thank you<3 im touched :)

ALSO ABUSE TRIGGER WARNING

Alright, so I have loved wilbur soot’s content for a very long time, 4 years or so. I watched the streams and listened to his music from the start. His content is entwined with many of my fond memories.

Earlier today, I had a breakdown over this whole situation, because, as I’ve been quite busy with school, my job, and other assorted things in my life, I found out about this morning. I had woken from a nightmare about my previous abuser. Who i will be talking about a lot more of as they really impacted my views on this situation.

However this nightmare had left me in a fragile mood, my girlfriend was still sleeping and i didn’t want to wake her, so to comfort myself i went to read one of my bookmarked fanfictions, this fanfiction, while i dont remember the title is one that i’ve found comforting for a very long time, so much so that when im stressed my partner has it saved to send to me so i can calm down.

It was a fanfiction about quackity and tubbo, wilbur soot was mentioned maybe 5 times, and the author had deleted it.

This caused me to try and find out why, so i went to their page and they had posted a temporary fic explaining what had been going on.

My first reaction had been disbelief, I then went to research everything. It was a lot to process.

I watched shelby’s vod. Before this i had mainly been disconnected from what i had seen, taking it it but not with any of my own feelings or thoughts really, just processing.

Shelby’s situation hits really hard for me because a lot of it mirrors my own abusive relationship of a few years ago. The wording Wilbur used against her, sounds like what my old partner would use against me. His actions, such as her having to clean and taking care of food, and amenities, were things i had to experience.

Abuse TW:

My old partner would physically abuse me through biting as well, he would claim that he just liked knowing i was his, and yet, like shubble, if i ever used our safe word, which happened so fucking often, he either wouldn’t listen, bite down harder on my neck, or fucking smile at me before letting go.

This got to the point that multiple times he had drawn blood from my neck, that i still have scars from today. And as i watch Shubble talk about her story which is ever so close to mine, I wonder that if I had watched this before, maybe i wouldn’t have stayed in that relationship.

I proceeded to stay in this relationship for 2 years before i realized how much harm he was doing to me, because i truly believed he loved me, because of all the lovebombing he would do.

End of Abuse TW:

And yet i felt pain aside from sympathy or memories, when learning of this, as the content Wilbur had put out had actually helped me out of this relationship, his music was pretty much all i listened to the months of healing after i got out and it helped, the art is good, and yet the author is one i cannot respect nor support in anyway now that i am aware.

i’d suggest watching this tiktok by @lasmanburg that really explains my thoughts and feelings on this

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTL1tb5Wg/

Right back to the content. I don’t believe that we should throw it all away, i don’t think that people should be deleting their art, fanfiction, or anything based on Wilbur. Because in the end it’s all art that we have created and interpreted and though the man who inspired it is horrible, all that has been made does not reflect his actions, but instead love and creativity from vast multifaceted community.

One can continue their writing and work because they are the ones creating it, not him, and besides most interpretations of him stray quite far from the source anyways

I think that one can continue to engage in his content as long as one does not directly support him, such as pirating his music, but personally at least right now listening to his music which brought me so much comfort-makes me feel sick. So think i’ll be taking a step back.

I don’t really know how to end this, i just needed to get my thoughts out honestly. I have therapy in an hour. I hope all of you who’ve made it to the end have a wonderful day and drink some water. I wish shelby well, and i’m glad she has been able to share this situation. And with that, I must now leave :)

[smashorpassgilf]

FAQs

Simple instructions: 

Go to the ask and submit the name of someone you like. I highly recommend sending photos of the person over 60, but that's not required. 

If you submit a name with photos, those submissions get processed first over all other submissions. You do not have to include images, but you know the pictures of them that look good way better than Google does. The photo(s) must be that submission over 60. 

If anon is on, just make sure your submission follows the guidelines, and submit a name

What are the requirements to submit to this blog?

Submissions must be over 60 years old. That's the main point of the blog. Object or person, any gender, whatever. Just over 60. 

Please check to see if they're eligible to be submitted on the spreadsheet. Eligibility is 6 months from poll posted day. If they are not eligible, we'll delete anon submissions and respond privately to let you know when to resubmit.  

Spirit of the blog: this is for fucking old people. please send in old looking old people. if they do not have wrinkles or a clearly defined age well over 60 y/o, we reserve the right to delete the submission.

No animals, no matter how long they've been extinct.

The spreadsheet has collected all of the polls (or almost all) the polls on the queue, thanks to our Jubi. This also has a list of people this blog will not accept. I am not going to entertain discussion on yes or no on these people. These decisions are final. 

What about a fictional politician, or a real politician who is in a show?

YES: Fictionalized versions of politicians in Video games, biopics, fiction books/stories, movies, TV shows, and similar. NO: Versions of politicians Documentaries, Nonfiction books. Politicians who died before 1 AD are allowed to be polled.

Edit: here

Why was musk allowed? 

I was drunk when I posted it and when I woke up he was at less than .8% smash and i was in shock. Justice for Vivian

Why did you post X person that is horrible?

Found it funny. Or more likely, I am not aware of the issue; send in information about it, and I'll decide from there.

Why Amber heard on the not allowed? 

Same reason as depp. Go back to the tag with you. 

What if the character doesn't have a canon age?

If they're fictional, it'll have to be vibe. Go with the spirit of the blog: we're not looking for Chilchuck Tims (Sorry), we're looking for Saruman and Gandalf.

What if they're confirmed Old™ in Canon, just no age? 

Sure.

Can I submit my OC?

Submit with a photo of them and a short bio (3-5 sentences)

Will you delete my submission?

Yes, if it comes out that person is a bigot, or if you attach too many under 50 images, or they're not eligible.

Did you receive My submission of [XXXXXX]?

If you're asking on anon, you'll get deleted. If you're asking off anon, 90% of the time we'll reply privately.

Have you processed my submission?

Check if they're in the queue tab and check if I've gotten to the date you submitted them.

What if I send multiple asks of the same person?

If it's all in the same hour, generally delete anons and reply I received the ask if not & only keep one copy.

You should use soundcloud/spotify/yt/etc only!

I start with soundcloud, then try spotify, then yt. This was established with a poll, and yt is often region locked.

Who runs this blog? 

The creator of this blog is V Saggy Hole, 27, it/itself. @heartofhubris Come watch my mental breakdowns over old men. To summarize some of the questions I've received: Fiddauthor and billford, for different reasons. I love swooning over stans. Stream Alt j, lonely machines 100 gecs and 3oh!3, still woozy, chet faker, and cloud fodder. My oldies are Jk simmons and all of his roles, Alfred Molina (specifically Harding Hooten), Sean Bean (now more than ever), Hiroyuki Sanada, Ford Pines (yes jk simmons Shh) and Stan Pines, Ian Mcshane (now more than ever), insomniac doc ock, Im going to stop myself from continuing. Genuine Homer Pigeon is the best rock dove.

Additional Helpers

Zemi, @overlookedfile, 35+, any pronouns. Yeah, that overlookedfile. Who are my old men? Geez, there are a lot, but I guess the short list is my husband (duh), Alfred Molina, Oliver Platt, Ron Perlman, Paul Giamatti, Saul Rubinek, and Eddie Marsan. I write when the writer's block allows and my most common genres seems to be m/m, A/B/O, and/or BDSM. My rule of thumb as concerns engaging with anything of mine is, "Go for it, but I ain't gonna pay for your therapy." 😂

Jubi, @lizardperson, 35+, it/they, problematic age gap fan. too aspec for a consistent type - some of the hottest people just happen to be old 🤷 random list, in no particular order and probably incomplete: Gina Gershon, Lance Henriksen, Jason Isaacs, Mads Mikkelsen, Shoreh Agashdaloo, Kurt Russell, Michelle Yeoh, Gillian Anderson, ...?

[tobysbliss]

hiiiii i saw your post about the new dr**m vid addressing the allegations and i understand why you hate him and i dont fault you for it AT ALL. but i simply want to understand your thought process with an open mind. I’m simply curious as to why you think his evidence presented in the video was “shit evidence” (im not defending him ir anything) and what do you believe is “proper” undeniable evidence? I’m just wondering thats all. Have you watched the whole video? (Again, im not forcing you too, im just curious) he has used his legal teams and has used proper timelines and everything to prove that he did not sext anyone at all to my knowledge. What else would you want him to do in order to prove his innocence after that?

As for your point about bringing up other creators, i believe he was simply trying to point out double standards, which.. well he didnt have to honestly (i understand what you mean). However, this also means that it would be wrong for the people mentioned in the video to bring up dream unwarranted, but clearly, no one cares if people like philza randomly bring dream up to throw a jibe at him during his streams which again proves the double standards.

As for quackity, yes dream was in the wrong, but he merely mentioned him to apologise (which i can understand if you dislike)

i simply am wondering why despite dream having enough evidence to sue amanda, you dont believe him. I understand you are a minor and you would understand court situations and stuff, but what else do you think dream can do to mitigate such false allegations?

have you ever paused to think why the general community had such a positive response to the video? Do you believe with your whole chest that you, as a 14 year old are so knowledgable, that whole adults who are capable of filing court cases are dumber than you and are simply blindly defending dream?

again, im not saying you are wrong, or anything, i just want to understand your though process. thank you ! Have a nice day :)

He knows the power he has with his fans, because he has most definitely seen the way they will support him no matter what— How he tweets a simple “I love you guys” after someone exposes him and they all rush to support him? I fully believe he used that knowledge when making his video + He is a power tripper.

I do believe he debunked the stuff with Amanda. But his “statement from Jamie,” there is literally no proof that Jamie actually said that. What he used with that statement is something that can be faked really easily & given in the start of the video he said that he lied about multiple other things, how am I supposed to believe that that’s seriously Jamie saying that?

And the reason people are so upset at him for bringing up Philza and his wife, Kristin, is because he used them as an example of CC’s interacting with fans, to defend himself. Phil & Kristin have around a one year age difference, and Phil had anywhere from like 3-10 viewers when Kristin found him. And the only reason that she did find him was because she worked with kids who liked minecraft & she wanted to know about it. Them becoming close friends, then dating & then getting married is not even close to what Dream was & is being accused of. Dream is being accused of sexting minors, and Phil & Kristin are not even CLOSE enough to be a good example to use as a defense.

Not to mention the things he didn’t go over in the video? His history of racism, antisemitism, sexism, etc. Why would he go over the speedrun cheating thing but not things that are far more important? So maybe even if the allegations are fake— He’s still a fucking horrible person.

I also think it’s disgusting how he put victim in quotation marks for the section of a video that his a “statement from Jamie.” Like actually disgusting to make it “A statement from the “victim.”” Like what the fuck.

It’s also weird how just less than half the video are dedicated to the allegations. He spent more time not talking about them in that whole autobiography length video. And, yes, I did watch the whole video.

And another thing, he knows what his fanbase is like. He knows that they will go on doxxing sprees on anybody who so much as utters something negative about their precious dreamy. But you know what Dream did in the video? He picked and chose what names to blur out, he blurred the names of people who defended him but anyone who wasn’t had their names put on blast to millions of people— Millions of his freak, dickriding fans.

So yes, I may be 14, and I may not know everything. But despite that I can still see when somebody is literally a disgusting human being!

[kittenchancorruptionarc]

[Clink! The man perks up as he hears the door begin to unlock after what felt like hours of deafening silence, at least back at home when things were quiet he could throw on some music and have it defy the loudness of the silence, but here all he could hear was himself. He tried to remain calm as he watched the surprisingly short man enter, his ears and hair just how he saw on stream. His voice filling the silence as he approaches, trying to keep focused on his face but the cigarettes quickly gaining more of his attention he gracious accepts the one placed in his mouth, savouring his first inhale, inhaling more as the smoke emanating from the Fox’s own cigarette blows over his face, clearly someone who has been itching for this relief.]

eh- i wasnt expecting them to bring me here on a silk pillow and a private jet. that shitty old van needs some new suspension by the way, i could feel every single bump on the way in, it was almost worse than when your bigger guy hit me right in the eye! i hope he wasnt two heart broken with the jab i landed on his gut, heard him coughing a little on the ride here.

[He snickers after his rambling and takes another drag from his cigarette, taking a moment in the silence to eye up the Fox, appreciating some of the smaller details even the camera couldn’t pick up, like a faded scar or some of the aging of his skin, textured tastefully from years of existence.]

yknow, i really appreciate this though. i get it and expected it, you cant treat me too well. but i guess my surrender deserved a little something.. hopefully if i can perform as well as some of your regulars maybe this little exchange can repeat.. maybe a burn per cigarette i know your fans just love burns…

[He rolls up one of his sleeves to reveal a small assortment of round burns, some scarred and some fresher than the rest, on the underside of his arm, turning it slightly to be seen by the Fox.]

wouldnt be anything too new to me!

[Another drag of his cigarette leaves his lips, his finally burnt nearly to the butt with a small ember left, he looks down to his arm and swiftly extinguishes what was left of it onto his arm, letting out a soft hiss as it goes out, leaving a raw red divet where it was shoved.]

guess im not feeling too bad, definitely better now after your gift. im pretty eager to get on camera, honestly its going to be different being on the other side of the screen. never thought id actually do it but uh hey were here now arent we? im glad your excited for it! wouldnt be much of a stream without your enthusiasm would it? sounds like youve already began cooking up a little in your head? do i get a heads up on the plans or am i going into the first round blind?

[He looks up at the Fox, watching his tail sway and ears perk as he listens. Trying to keep a relaxed demeanour as the Fox’s aura fills the room.]

[Fox rose an eyebrow at the comment about the van, he wasn’t very knowledgeable in machinery, especially when it came to vehicles, he usually let Kangaroo deal with that. Nonetheless, he nodded his head at the other man’s comment.]

New suspension, eh? I’ll bring that up with Kangaroo later. I don’t do the machine work around here anyways.

[The beastkin grinned when he heard that the other punched one of his men in the gut, it did explain why one of them was nearly coughing up a lung when they returned with him. He loves when his new stars put up a fight. It’s more fun.]

Ooo!~ I see you like put up a fight, eh? That’ll be exciting.

[Fox was about to talk about how he has multiple different methods of giving people burns, some more brutal then others, but seeing the random man he kidnapped casually roll up his sleeve to reveal his cigarettes burn scars and put another one out on himself like was a human ashtray nearly made the older man’s jaw drop. Oh, he got LUCKY. The man’s words started falling on deaf ears as Fox processed what he just witnessed, his legs shifting around a bit to hide…something.]

Oh? Um. Uh…y-yes. I have SEVERAL ideas in mind for you, little pet.

[Fox then smirked sinisterly as he saw he was at the butt of his own cigarette now, he then, without warning, quickly gripped onto the others still exposed arm with his free hand and used the other to press the somewhat still lit butt into his arm, pushing it nice and deep into his flesh so it’ll hurt worse.]

Feel good, darling?~ This is one of the MANY things I’m going to do to you on stream. <3

[fictionfixations]

IM STARTING LOVE AND DEEPSPACE

the only thing i know about it is that it has a period tracker, apparently the videos for it are horny (i heard amalee talking about how she opened up a lads video and then there were men whimpering and she'd done it in public not thinking it would be anything bad 💀💀💀)

and i actually finally saw the game for the first time on mina's channel and she was showing off some of i think her caleb cards and like highlights of stuff or something? there was one where it seemed like he was being possessed or something idfk and was trying to eliminate us and then he was like no

and then another where theyre in space and like make out

and then one thats lowkey kinda freaky where we put a collar on him and shit like

HUH

so yeah thats all i know LMAO

or well i hopped into one of mina's streams of i think it was her stream anniversary or something? the one where she announced like a new model (she showed the art the actual model isnt coming until i think april? i forgor) and her and i think allegra were talking about caleb's red flags cause hes apparently a yandere or something?? mina was on caleb's side and allegra was like wtf that mans a walking red flag 😭😭????

im not sure what my stance on it is ill see when i actually interact with him yknow? like it could be a jumin han from mysme thing where his whole deal actually pisses me off hella hard, i have no idea (although that could also partially be because i am SO biased towards jaehee you have no idea)

IM FINALLY IN ive been trying to get lads to work since 10 am (its 5 pm almost 6) IM NOT KIDDING it took awhile because it said it wasnt compatible with the device and then the loading time took forever i cant believe theres no loading bar for like verifying version info or whatever it was i forgot because i couldnt tell if it was broken or if it was DOING THE THING

holy shit

imma like cry if this continues to take so long every time i try to start the game LMAO

i was gonna give her blue eyes only but the red looks really cool.

i usually yap a lot more but im worried having multiple stuff open is gonna break the game cause it makes scary noises and last time that happened i fucked up the downloading process of the new update on hsr

To minimize lag imma switch to yapping on mobile so I don’t keep making it harder on my pc

That means less images but I’ll manage

Me setting the first name last name to my favorite oc:

Nickname is prince since usually my username is like pr1nce_thcseus so I default to being called prince

Sorry unicorns??? OH SECTOR

Wtf is up with my level I thought I was b cause I paused it then it switched

???? NAhhh not us an anomaly

Oo MC TRAUMA???

TARA I LOVE YOU in a maybe Wanna run off into the sunset together and get married

I suspect the men will knock my boots off though lmao they are the main focus

Also Wanna say love our boots

MAN SPOTTED

wait have I seen this before 😭??? It felt weirdly familiar for a moment and then nah

Not me low key getting jumpscared seeing him move like holy shit please don’t kill me 💀

Man my laptop does not like the fighting mode

Thank you keyhints for telling me what buttons are what to do what because if I had to manually press it with a mouse I think I’d just die all the time 😭

Not me bumping into my keyboard and it kicking me into a different tab

I was so scared I’d have to relaunch

I’m happy in dialogue it lags less on my end

Helps immersion

XAVIER

Like my savior

Hahahahahha

Look I’m using this as an excuse to thirst (i feel this is a judge-free zone)

Is it just me or does Tara look like max…????? Life is strange protag I might’ve gotten name wrong

Why you memorize phone number

PULLINGGGG

Guaranteed within 69 pulls hahhahahaa

Select who I want to meet?? I’ve only seen Xavier 😭

Wait did the watch see Xavier???

NOO BEING UP AND READY AT EIGHT????

Tara are you into Jenna or do you just like looking at attractive people

Kid I have drained my social battery please leave

I thought that said luka

Holy shit man alert

What the bruh is skilled with his fingers hahahahahhaga

I was gonna say istg if i hear another character named LU KA

Lmaoo

I think I just discovered a preference??? Is it just me or the one earring kinda hot 😭

IN YOUR HEART?? GIRL

wait should I be playing with earbuds

I think maybe it will enhance the experience? Hold on

Zayne’s appearance reminds me of iida

OH IM SUPPOSED TO actually move

I regret not turning the music down since they’re always a little too loud if I use earbuds

‘People who have evol are called evolvers’ I thought that said revolver 💀

?,? CALEB

A

*stares suspiciously* he doesn’t give me Yandere vibes….

You say aviation in front of me I think of that one thing that goes under all known laws of aviation bees should not be able to fly because they’d be too heavy to move their fat body off the ground or something 💀

???? Is Caleb a sibling or close friend

I think it’s the latter but it’s unclear

Girl wth I didn’t know this was horror

I wouldnt have put the earbuds on

Anyway so far I feel I’ve been charmed by Xavier

Pretty

I forgot he’s on Home Screen I backed out expecting him to not be there and then he’s still there oop

Ahh more pull stuff

How many can you have in one team

‘Why are you sitting in the waiting area’ SHUT UP ZAYNE

Huh that’s cool a thing that auto draws from memory

I don’t think Zaynes for me

The seal is adorable

49%……. I can’t escape the numbers (orv fan)

AH QUICK TIME EVENTS????

I would’ve thought auto would do it for me 😭

NOOO ITS FORCING ME TO PURSUE BUT I HAVE MORE I WANN ADD TO THE TEAM

DUDEEEE

AGGHHHH

LMFAO

i have to stop here i cant really do anything else right now to be able to proceed and binge the story 🤷

how do i feel about it? i dunno. i havent really gotten that far enough to be super invested or see any big twists or anything

im liking xavier though and maybe rafayel im not sure i need to interact with him more

also i clicked under deepspace and holy shit so much story 💀 this is what i get for procrastinating from this game for so longg

[bielbunny]

Hey Es, I wanted to ask you two questions:

1. It may be strange if you didn’t see the ask about the voice difference between you and Biel, but can you send me an audio clip of your voice (Again, a strange fucking request ik), to compare it to Biel’s voice; not only for reference, but also since I’ve heard of Biel’s voice when they were being coached in Guilty Gear Strive. Your free to withdrawal from this question if you feel uncomfortable.

2. What was the process in attaining your appearance. As in, how did you get your appearance of a 5 eyed dragon? Was it a design that you personally made? Was it a design originally for a character Biel seldom used? Were there multiple designs that you were offered and said “that one!”? I’m very curious on how you got your face. Not why, as it’s obvious, but more on… (I really need to look at a thesaurus)

i'm being begged to tell you that Biel was likely the one doing the actual coaching, ha. 1. we'll do one better though, since we'll be co-hosting another Guilty Gear Stream today @ https://www.twitch.tv/erihya in about what, 10-15 minutes? i'll be there first, and having a better understanding of how fronting works for us now, i can guarantee Biel will front at some point. i don't have a pngtuber like the Biel does, but since it's about identifying us by voice perhaps that is in of itself a fun challenge, ha. consider giving it a watch! the support is appreciated just in general. 2. it was a design that i made with a lot of assistance from Biel really. mostly bouncing ideas back and forth and seeing what stuck and immediate got a reaction out of me, mm? we made a mood board of sorts and put a number of inspirations and references for body shape, potential color palettes, so on so forth. as for the eyes themselves... i'm pretty fascinated by monster and creature design in general, and striking eyes that really seem to entrance you are high up on the list of things i'm fond of. i am also the most cautious and reserved out of the two, and generally a lot more observant; i quite literally keep an eye out more often than not. the 5th eye in the forehead is a tongue-in-cheek way to represent insight, inner vision, enlightment and whatnot. considering we made strides in regards to self-discovery, quite literally in my case, it felt like it fit perfectly on the design.

it felt like a very appropriate way to translate that into a design that i felt a connection with, mm? on top of that, it's a nice contrast with biel's beady bright green eyes. one thing we immediately agreed on is that we wanted both fursona designs to be reminiscent of one another but still look very different in key areas. - 🌑