#I am gonna do another numbers round up at some point

[pretttydemonwrites]

Thoughts - June 4

Happy Pride Month Motherfuckers!

My writing has been pretty sporadic for the past couple of months. I'm not surprised really, I knew that setting a goal to write every day was going to ultimately wind up with missed days, but that was never really the point of this anyways. Whether I do it every day, every other day, or a couple times a week or whatever, I've already written way more this year than I think I've written in...let's just say it's been a while.

I'd like to expand on why that's happened, why I found myself falling out of love with the thing that I straight up decided to major in while I was in college. (Hint: college definitely had something to do with it)

I pinpoint the start of my love of writing around the age of eleven. At the time it was all My Chemical Romance self insert fanfiction and typical My Immortal style vampire stories. A little after that, I started branching out into doing text RP on Gaia Online and that's when I made my first real OC, Cassandra. Stuck her in a less than savory asylum themed roleplay and that particular group I would go on to do several different plots with. That was all through middle and high school, and those roleplays fueled my writing. I still wrote some MCR fanfiction during that time too, but I was branching out! Original stories, original characters, poetry, hell I did NaNoWriMo in like...2011 for the first time and fuckin crushed it.

I was pretty confident about my writing honestly. My friends and I liked it and that's kind of all I gave a shit about. When I started contemplating going to college and eventually decided to major in creative writing, that's when things started to take a bit of a turn.

For one thing, I don't particularly enjoy criticism! I also don't enjoy being told what format/genre/etc to write in, and when you get into advanced creative writing classes (at least at my college) then they usually focused on specific genres. For instance, I took a novella writing class, and a one-act playwriting class, and a....poetic playwriting class? Gun to my head I couldn't tell you what that one was officially called.

Now, obviously I recognize that the point of these classes was to allow you to branch into different formats, learn the conventions of them and use that knowledge to strengthen your skills. But I was a stubborn bastard and I only wanted to write my stuff.

That being said, my work often felt like it was undermined and looked down upon because my influences were very obviously YA/fanfiction/genre fiction based, whereas everyone else seemed focused on being as pretentious as possible, trying so desperately to be the next great white male author. I was resentful of that, and couldn't understand why my writing was seen as immature in comparison to my peers.

Long story short, I think those feelings kind of festered in me all through college so that, by the time I graduated, I had no intentions of ever turning my writing into any sort of career. I felt discouraged and pretty hopeless about my prospects, so once I was out, I was more concerned with figuring out how I was going to survive and pay rent, and I knew that my writing wasn't going to pay those bills. So I just...let it go for a while.

I'd write something here and there, sure. I think I might have even tried to submit a couple things. By and large though, what once consumed a vast majority of my free time was became something of a past life. "Back in the day I was a writer" and such.

And yet, it was still always one of the first things I would tell people if they asked me about my interests. ("Oh I'm a writer. What have I written lately? HAHAHAHA!") I couldn't let that part of my identity go. It had been a huge part of me for half my life, how could I abandon it?

So it was there, always, even if I didn't do anything with it. And then I got into DnD and other TTRPGs and I was doing text RP again and I realized that....I can still write? I'm still an actual writer? And I could write again if I really wanted to, if I could find a way to push past the discouraged feeling in my gut.

So that's what all this has been for, really. I could go on for a while about this complex relationship I have with writing, but it honestly feels so fucking good to be back in it, to be back working at something again. It's not perfect, I've definitely forgotten a lot of the useful shit I did learn in college, but I think that I could get there again.

If you read through this whole thing, I can only assume that you related to it in some way and if so, I hope you're coming out on the other side of things feeling hopeful for yourself too. Thank you, as always, for reading.

[marlynnofmany]

Mechanical Rhythms

I opened the door to the engine room, ready to declare “Lunch delivery!” but the place was so loud with machinery that I decided to wait. Instead I shut the door behind me and carried the tray of sealed containers past all the viewscreens, gauges, and schematics, and into the labyrinth of passages beyond.

They call it the engine room, but really it’s a whole complex on this spaceship. And it’s not usually this loud. All the thumps, roars, and dings seemed to be at max volume somehow.

When I reached the part that was normally smooth walls and amorphous shapes, I saw why. All the covers were off. Some were retracted into the ceiling, some swung open like window shutters, and more lay cluttering up the walkway along with a chaotic spread of tools.

From somewhere among the exposed wires and pipes, a gruff voice muttered angrily.

“Hey Mimi,” I said over the whooshing noises of the pipes. “I’ve got lunch for you.”

“Thanks,” said the voice, sounding tired. And gravely. I found it amusing that our engineer sounded just like any number of crusty old mechanics back home. Mimi’s voice was balanced out by the fact that his name was Mimi, and he looked like an octopus. “Put it on top of the big toolbox, will you?” he said, sticking a tentacle out from behind something shaped like a pipe organ.

“Sure,” I said. I was pretty sure I knew which one he meant. “It’s heated but sealed, so you can get to it when you’re ready.”

“Think I’ll take a break now,” he said. “This is obnoxious and a half.” More pale green tentacles emerged, followed by his round octopus head, and Mimi clambered expertly over the mess to plop down next to the food tray.

I looked around. “What’s happening? Eggskin said you were working on something that might take a while.”

“It wasn’t supposed to,” Mimi griped as he twisted a lid off. “I was just checking for efficient fuel use, since something wasn’t firing right, and now I’ve been tracking the flipping-flailing problem all day!” He dumped something into his mouth that looked like grapes. “I had other thingzh I wuz gonna do,” he grumbled.

“Sounds annoying,” I said. “Made any progress, at least?”

“Oh sure,” he replied, pointing a tentacle over his head at the set of pipes. “Tracked the problem to that area. One of ‘em isn’t in synch with the rest, and I am not looking forward to disassembling the housing so I can figure out which.”

The pipes were a dull coppery-brown, without any of the translucence of certain other engine parts. “Yeah, I guess you can’t really see from here, huh?”

“Nope,” Mimi said, prying at another container. “If I ever meet the pebble-brain who designed this ship, I will have words for them.”

I moved closer, picking out the sounds of these engine parts over the others. Kind of a whoosh-whirr-wheet. “Can you tell anything by listening?”

Mimi spoke over a mouthful of food. “Like what?”

“You said one was out of synch. Does it make a different noise?”

With a wave of tentacles that I took to mean I doubt it, or maybe You’re welcome to try, Mimi focused on his lunch.

Well. Whyever not.

I stepped over more tools to where I could stick my face up close to the noisy things. At least this part wasn’t the loudest — that honor was reserved for the whump-screech rhythm from the boiler-looking dealie down the way. I didn’t know what any of this stuff did.

When I listened from up close, I found a surprisingly catchy beat to the noises. It reminded me of the dishwasher my parents had when I was a kid. Fond memories of dancing in front of it. I’ve always taken my small joys where I find them, and I’m pretty sure that stemmed from a good upbringing. Any family that encouraged kids to dance to dishwasher noises is one that can find fun anywhere.

I moved along the row of pipes, listening to each in turn, nodding to the beat until I found something that didn’t match.

Whoosh-whirr-wheet.

Whoosh-whirr-wheet.

Whoosh-whirr…whirr…

“It’s this one,” I said, standing back and pointing.

“What? How can you tell?” Mimi demanded.

“It dropped the beat,” I said.

“What?”

“It doesn’t match the rhythm of the others.”

Mimi scrambled over, lunch forgotten. “You can hear that?”

“Well yeah, it’s pretty obvious when you listen for it,” I said, giving him space. I watched as he clambered around, listening intently with the little ear holes in the side of his squishy head, sometimes pressing between the pipes in a way someone with solid bones could never manage. There was a reason Strongarms made good mechanics.

But apparently not all the reasons.

“I have no idea what you’re hearing,” Mimi declared, pulling back out.

“It’s this one,” I repeated. “The other ones are going whoosh-whirr-wheet, but this one gets stuck on the whirr.”

Mimi stared at me for a moment. “Stay right there,” he said, scrambling down to a bank of dials and levers. “Tell me if you hear any change. The third one, right?”

“Yeah.” I listened from close to the pipes while he adjusted things down at the bottom. Gradually, the rhythm shifted. “Oh, it’s getting better!”

“See if you can tell me when it matches,” Mimi said.

“Almost there,” I said. “It’s making the wheet noise now, just at the wrong time.” I nodded along, drumming on the air to the rhythm of the other pipes while Pipe Number Three gradually synched up. “Wait, too far,” I told Mimi. “It’s too early now.”

Muttering something indistinct, Mimi adjusted more dials.

“There! You got it!” I stood back, grinning.

“You’re sure?” Mimi asked from the console.

“Yeah, it’s a perfect match now. Ready to dance to.” I shimmied in place, appreciating the beat and not particularly caring if it wasn’t dignified.

“I’ll run the diagnostic again,” Mimi said as he tentacle-walked over to a different control panel. “If that fixed it, I will be amazed.”

I danced among the tools for the few seconds it took to run the diagnostic.

“Welp,” Mimi said. “It’s official. I’m amazed.”

“Did we fix it?” I asked, standing up with a grin.

“It appears that we did,” he said. Waving his tentacles in a baffled sort of way, he looked from me to the panel. “Thanks. You’re useful to have around.”

“And you’re welcome!” I replied. “Happy to help. Now you can finish your lunch before Eggskin starts griping about organic maintenance.”

“We can’t have that, now can we?” Mimi said. “Maybe I’ll eat somewhere quieter, and put the sound baffles back in place afterward.”

“Great idea,” I agreed. “As catchy as this music is, it’s a bit loud for lunch.”

~~~

The ongoing backstory adventures of the main character in this book. More to come!

[jelzorz]

167b.

(167a)

The Nova Blade is bigger and heavier than Callum thought it would be. It fits awkwardly in his hand, too large to be wieldy, heavy enough to make his wrist hurt if he holds it outstretched for too long, long enough to run down the length of his back and then some as he and Rayla made their way back to Katolis.

Now, it lies horizontally across his desk, almost the full length of it, the ivory stark and foreboding against the polished grain. He's been sleeping up here recently anyway, because there's so much to do, and it's easier to just stay instead of head down to his room, and at least this way the Nova Blade is in reach, in case—

In case of emergencies.

The others still aren't happy with him. Every conversation he's had with Ez since their return has been clipped and full of tension. Opeli's disapproval is obvious in the way her lips tilt downwards everytime he enters a room. Soren he just avoids, because he hates the sneer, the warnings, and the way Soren looks at him like he's one moment away from turning into the same monster Viren was, which makes him mad more than it makes him feel guilty.

They won't even let him near the pearl, which, he supposes, is for the better, but he doesn't like the way it feels like they don't trust him either. The chamber it's in is locked now, and the key lives on Soren's person who is immune to even Stella's sticky fingers, and all the while, the Nova Blade is there and ready, and if they'd just let him—

"Do you even know how use it?"

Callum scowls. This morning's council meeting is tense for a number of reasons but it's the first formal one they've had since his and Rayla's return. Soren stares him down from the other side of the table, blue eyes icy and hard and unimpressed.

"It's just a sword," bristles Callum. "How hard can it be to stab a thing?"

Soren snorts, which only annoys Callum more. "Feels light and easy to use, does it?"

"I—" Callum scowls. "I can figure it out."

"Like you figured out how to use the hand-and-a-halfs everyone else uses."

Silence. Callum feels his face burn because everyone in the room knows how poorly he handled swords when he was younger, how Soren had tried to coax him into learning more in Rayla's absence only for him to grow impatient and leave before a single lesson had finished. He hasn't touched a blade since—and why should he? He's a mage, and he's never needed a reason to, and he can fight with magic better anyway.

"It's a two handed sword," says Soren. "It's different from the one you used when you were training with me. It's designed to let its weight to do the work. You can't use it like the standard issue swords here or you'll hurt yourself."

Callum scowls again. "Just say what you want to say," he snaps. "I'm not in the mood for another lecture."

"He's saying you should learn how to use it," Opeli cuts in, clearly sensing the danger. "With respect, Prince Callum, you cannot seriously expect to use it against Aaravos if you don't even know how to hold it."

"If there's even a need to use it at all," mutters Ez sourly.

Another pause. Another long moment that Callum uses to scowl at everyone but Rayla, only for Rayla to say, "They're right."

Callum rounds on her but she only shifts uneasily in her seat. "You can't use it against him if you can't use it at all. I know you're worried about his influence over you, Callum, but the best way to make sure you can take him is to learn how to use the only weapon we know will work."

"How am I gonna do that?" grumbles Callum. "Where am I gonna get that kind of instruction?"

One more pause. Everyone turns their heads towards Soren and Callum almost walks out entirely.

"No."

"He's the only one here who can use a greatsword, Prince Callum," points out Opeli.

"Why can't Rayla teach me?"

Soren scoffs. "Her blades aren't even little bit the same."

"Oh, right, and you were such a great teacher when we were kids."

"He's better now," snaps Ez. "You would know that if you'd pulled your head out of your butt enough to learn from him while Rayla was gone. Are you seriously so proud you'd rather go in not having any idea what you're doing?"

Callum scowls at them all a third time. Soren's accusations still ring in his ears, and Soren takes one look and knows that it's all he can hear.

"You don't wanna be like him, right?" he says, a challenge in his voice. "Here's your chance. Admit you don't know. Learn how to use the sword."

"Callum." That's Rayla. She reaches across the table to him and touches his hand. Something in her eyes stalls him: something in amongst the fear and concern that he hopes might be the remnants of what they had two years ago; something that might burn for him still.

He relents.

He starts training with it at dawn.

[sweetiesicheng]

wonwoo - video games

word count : 514

-

"come on, come on..." you mumbled out loud, not caring if people could hear you. after a few seconds, you managed to destroy a tower on screen. "finally!"

you sat back in the chair you were sitting on just as you finished a round of the game you were playing. sighing in relief, you picked up your water bottle and drank some water before putting your bottle back down on the floor next to you.

"there you are."

you looked up and saw your boyfriend walking towards you. he had headphones around his neck and had his backpack slinging over one shoulder.

"oh, hey," you greeted with a smile.

"what are you doing here? why aren't you at the other place?" he asked, sitting down on the chair next to you.

"it's closed today. joshua said that they're having a party or something, so it’s booked all day long," you answered. "done with class?" you asked him.

"professor cancelled, so i just stayed in my dorm to finish my coding assignments," wonwoo mentioned. "hungry?" he asked you.

you pointed to the plastic bag on the floor that had a bunch of open wrappers inside. wonwoo peeked over and nodded his head.

"cool, looks like i'll just go buy something for myself then. i'll be back," he said to you before walking away.

"can you get me a drink? i want a soda," you asked only to hear him hum in response. "thank you, love."

you started playing another round of the game while wonwoo was buying stuff. he returned a few minutes later since the nearest store was two stores away. you were in the middle of a round when he had returned.

"did the update already come out?" wonwoo asked you when he sat down, noticing new items on your screen. you heard the plastic bag rustle as he started taking stuff out of bag.

you nodded, "yea. last night. you didn't know?" you asked him.

"nah, i've been studying."

"stop lying to yourself. i bet you were playing that game hansol has been playing all month," you replied to him with a chuckle, earning a flick to side of your head, "ow!" you yelled.

"here, take a sip."

he brought the soda can to your lips and helped you take a sip of the carbonated beverage. after a few minutes, you won the round of the game and cheered in excitement.

wonwoo just chuckled before turning on the monitor next to you.

"you're playing?" you asked him and grabbed a snack bag from the pile that he had bought from the store.

"what else am i gonna do here? sing?" he replied sarcastically to you. "make a lobby for me to join."

"you’re just gonna beat me every time. you always have the better score in team games,” you complained with a slight pout.

wonwoo smiled and moved the chair closer to you.

“just because i want to be the best doesn’t mean i’m number one in my eyes. you are,” he said before kissing your cheek. “now hurry up.”

“so demanding…”

[mattsturniololoverr]

~The after party~

A/n: guys this is my first fic please correct me on anything wrong and request ideas!Summary: y/n finally meets the triplets a week before her best friends birthday party , let's say alot happens.....

Warnings:  a series - definitely smut in the next-chapter -drinking - smoking - m/f receiving - Dom!Matt - p in V - unprotected sex - degradation - praising - use of y/n - getting caught

pt2 pt3

-------------------------------------------

I was getting ready for my best friend Laney's 21st birthday. I didn't really know anyone except Laney and a couple other people , but it was mainly an influencer get together cos nearly everyone going had at least 1 mill on YouTube or tiktok or something at this point.

All I knew was that the triplets would be there and what can I say , they're hot and they know it. I've only collabed with a few people once or twice and with the triplets once and let's say it went quite well. Well I would say so....

*- Last week -*-

I was sat at my desk putting on the last finishing touches of my make-up. Then suddenly my phone bussed and bussed and bussed until I answered.

"Hello?..."

"Hey! It's me nick I got your number of Laney! Hope you don't mind , I should have texted you first but just wanted to ask if you wanted to come round sometime you seem fun!!!!!"

"Omg nick you scared me I thought this was some random freak! but yeah of course I would love to come round some time!"

"Okay girly sorry for scaring you *he laughs* , is tomorrow okay I could get Matt to come get you?"

"Yeah! Okay that sounds good , should we say 2pm???"

"Yeah! That's perfe- CHRIS SHUT UP. I am so sorry Chris ran out of Pepsi I'll see you tomorrow bye girl!"

"Byee!!"

Once he hung up , I texted Laney straight away.

Me: LANEYNICK RUNG SAYING HE WANTS ME TO COME OVER TOMORROW AT 2

Me: LANEY ANSWER RN

My wife🤍: WHAT OMGG YESSSS

My wife🤍: maybe you'll actually get recognised on YouTube now 🙄🙄🙄 BUT YAY

Me: IKKK AAHHHHH

I was so excited to meet them , especially Matt. Ever since I started watching their videos when they started all the way back in 2020 which is crazy , It feels like I've known them for years but realistically I know them they just don't know me.

It feels weird to say that but it's true and I feel so excited that I'm actually going to be meeting them! And of course I'm excited I'm meeting them all but I just have a thing for Matt , well I mean who wouldn't look at the man he's stunning.

-*- tomorrow -*-

I slowly opened my eyes to the blaring sound of my alarm , I had to set off extremely early because otherwise I would be waking up at 7pm. And of course I can't be late with meeting them that would be so embarrassing , so instead I woke up 7 hours earlier than I needed to so I have extra time to be prepared , who knows what's gonna happen. ( Little does she know a lot is gonna happen )

-*- 2 hours later -*-

Ive just finished in the shower I used my favourite shampoo to make my hair look shiny and blonde and my strawberry body wash. After I felt fresh and clean , I realised that I had taken 2 hours in the shower which was longer than I thought but that's okay because I have another 5 hours left. I sat down and tied my hair in a towel and started doing my skin care , I was just about to put on my toner until my phone bused.

Nick💜: is it okay if Matt picks you up in like an hour?? Chris decided we all need to go mini golfing. It was his idea not mine don't blame me 😭.

Me: that's okay haha and yeah that's fine I'll be ready in an hour!

I had an hour to get ready and I didn't know if I was gonna make it. I had to skip half of my skin care and get straight to my makeup with my primer and then foundation and then the rest. I had just about finished my makeup now just drying my hair but I looked at the clock behind me on my wall above my mirror to find that I only had 15 minutes left until Matt was here , and I didn't have time to dry and curl my hair , I haven't even picked out my outfit!?

I rushed with drying my hair so much that I forgot to buy anti frizz spray so I quickly sprayed it on hoping it would work.

.5 minutes left okay that's not too bad , I nearly tour my whole wardrobe apart trying to find the perfect outfit , I had found out a blue Bandana type tube top and some baggy black jeans and my converse and I had my silver Vivienne Westwood earrings in and my silver horse necklace what my dad gave me before he moved states.

Once I put on my outfit and the finishing touches my phone rang , it was Matt , well I presumed it was since it was bang on 11 o'clock and an unknown number.

"Hey it's Matt , nick gave me your number and I think I'm outside"

"If it has a white door then yes that's my house lol its in-between to house with black doors"

"Oh shi- wrong house hold on"

I could hear Matt drop the phone and the car reversing.

"Ok now I'm here"

"Okay I'm on my way"

Once I hung up I opened my door to Matt outside greeting me with a hug.

"Hi sorry about being really early It was Chris's fault".

He said with a small hue of pink in his cheeks.

"Haha don't worry about it , I love mini golf anyway" i smiled at him.

He started heading to the passenger door and opened with the kind words of

"lady's first".

I gave him a smile and couldn't help but blush that the boy I have been crushing over for 4 years is opening the door for me.

During the car ride Matt seemed stressed , I could see him fiddling with his rings every time we stopped at a red light. I didn't realise but I was also really nervous , so nervous I started playing with the horse on my necklace.

He seemed to pick up on it maybe 5-10 minutes into the drive to get nick and Chris.

"If you're nervous , me too I hate when nick just asks people to Collab without asking me and Chris , I think he knows I'll love it once I get to know the person but it would be nice to ask you know" he said with slight anger in his voice."I didn't mean that I don't want you here cos I do- but not in that wa- unless you want it to be- I'm gonna stop now" he said cutting himself off after a couple words.

"Matt it's okay I'm nervous too , I've been watching your guys videos since you started , it feels like I'm meeting someone like Justin Bieber right now like a full on celebrity" he chuckles at the end of my sentence.

"Hey we have the same necklace" I said trying to change the awkwardness as I turned my head towards him.He looked to the right to see what we did.

"Ha I didn't realise , I got this from my mom".

"Mines from my dad before he moved states".

The only difference with our necklaces was that the horses were facing opposite ways to each other.

-*-time skip-*-

It's been a couple hours since we all got home from mini golfing , let me just say Chris is a very sore loser , I think Matt won then nick , then me and lastly chris.

We were all sat together on the couch , watching ru Paul as me and nick loved it.

Only Chris and Matt were on the phone.I was starting to move around cos I was sitting in an uncomfortable position but Matt's phone flew out his hand when I accidentally knocked his arm.

"I'm so sorry!"

I whispered in embarrassment as I picked his phone up only to see him on my Instagram and all my pictures were liked. I turned my head towards him only to find him looking right back at me with the most red cheeks I've ever seen. Once we made contact he looked at the floor immediately.I slid his phone back to him on the couch , and sat back in my seat trying to forget what just happened.

-*- 1 hour later -*-

My mind was racing , what if Matt liked me or was he just being a nice friend? No? Yes? I don't even know anymore.

I tried everything I could to stop thinking about it but now could I until I got a message

Matt: come to my room after? We need to speak.

I just looked at him and turned back to my phone and nodded trying not to make it to obvious to his brother what was going on.I was just thinking about what's gonna happen before nick interrupted

"Chris I'm hungry let's go get food , Matt show y/n around the house properly shes only seen the living room for Christ sake"

Once nick and Chris left Matt stood up almost immediately. He grabbed my hand and dragged me to his room and slammed the door behind me.

"Look I'm sorry I didn't mean for it to happen like this".

[iaus]

okay. i figured it out. putting this under a read more because i'm absolutely fucking bonkers and this went deeper than i expected to.

wall of text under the read more eheheh.

let's start out with jace (my beloved) who made making a character sheet so easy by being an obviously straight up sorcerer. i'm making the assumption that all teachers at aguefort somehow got to level 20. and here is what i came up with using standard array, no rolls:

strength: 10 (+0) dexterity: 14 (+2) constitution: 17 (+3) intelligence: 8 (-1), it is a 5 in my heart but i'm not messing with numbers for standard array purposes. wisdom: 12 (+1), which i think is in line with canon because i feel like i remember him having to make a WIS save and bleem said he only had a +1 charisma: 20 (+5), i think an argument could be made for his CHA to be higher but i don't... remember him doing any damage spells or having to make and CHA saves so. again, for standard array purposes i'm leaving it. he's at least 22 CHA in my heart.

but so with all the numbers out of the way... that leaves figuring out spell splots/subclass. because of fanfic (do i need to namedrop? we know what fic) i went with divine sorcerer.

gave him heightened, subtle, quickened, and careful metamagics but could be convinced of others.

for feats i lined him up with:

fey touched: misty step without giving up a learned spell slot as well as a +1 to CHA bringing it to 18 actor: +1 charisma to bring CHA to 19 as well as advantage on deception and performance checks when trying to pass yourself off as a different person. prodigy: expertise to deception as well as proficiency with a language and tool kit didn't think about language or tool proficiency... but i am strangely fond of jace having proficiency with a forgery kit. skill expert feat for another +1 to round him out to CHA 20 (as well as expertise in persuasion).

now i also figured that even if he isn't an adventurer, he might have some gear so gear wise i gave him a ring of protection, bloodwell vial +3 (brings his spell save to a whopping 22), and a barrier tattoo (rare) which sets him at a comfortable 18 AC and takes up 3 attunement slots. (i know he did not have 18 AC but i love him more than bleem)

now. spells.

taking into consideration that jace has canonically used or implied to use: enlarge/reduce, misty step, counterspell, bigby's hand, and flesh to stone (which... i hadn't realized was a sorcerer spell), and detect magic. that leaves SOME wiggle room with the rest of his spells.

this is the spell list i generated thinking about my own characterization of him and considering that i think he might've been more used for control magics and they probably would have used oisin for more offensive stuff since... wizard.

and as i was typing this i realized that jace and oisin did use some sort detect thoughts or something.... though. it could have also been a dominate spell? anyway.........

cantrips to level 2

3 to 5

and finally 6 to 9.

so OF COURSE this is gonna be so different to what bleem used because he probably used an npc stat block and just added very minimal flavor to it. but this is what i've come up with.

now. porter is a lot more straightforward literally between my textpost about his multiclass split to now i finished his sheet.

once again i used standard array. and made him an 18 barbarian path of the zealot, and 2 level paladin. he does not get an oath with only 2 paladin levels which i think works for his narrative.

strength: 20 (+5), however i do want it noted that porter HAS to have a 27 to strength to get his +8 and his +14 to strength saves and athletics checks. dexterity: 14 (+2) constitution: 17 (+3). considering that bleem said porter was health over AC, this means he has to have something artificially inflating his CON or just basic hit points. because a barb/pal multiclass with average dice is only 190 HP which for a bbeg is laughable. (again, i know that bleem did not use actual character sheets but, pre-final fight bear with me) intelligence: 8 (-1), his INT is also a 5 in my heart but not messing with standard array. wisdom: 12 (+1) charisma: 13 (+1), i do think that porter has more charisma than this. he is genuinely a creepy guy, but i think he's at least a +2 maybe even a +3. but i digress. i used standard array.

now for feats. i selected these with the thought in mind that porter's (pre-final fight) weapon is a vicious maul (extra +2d6 on crits) and i'm ASSUMING he's just going for straight damage which is scary.

Great Weapon Master Crusher (+1 to STR) which basically gives him the ability to once per turn push a creature away from him if he hits it with bludgeoning damage. it ALSO gives him advantage on a creature he scores a crit that does bludgeoning on until the start of his next turn.... scary opportunity attacks Athlete (+1 to STR) and makes it so it only takes 5 feet of your movement to stand when knocked prone, climbing doesn't take extra movement, and you can make a running jump with only 5 feet of movement vs 10 ability score increase (+1 STR, +1 CON) brings STR to 20 and CON up to 16 for a +3

now with the paladin multiclass, porter does not get access to the barb capstone and instead gets access to 2 paladin spells and smites. however, with this multiclass he can only smite twice.......... like bro....... LOL

his extra stuff is funny because he only has 10 lay on hands charges so he can technically get rid of disease/poison but only twice per long rest LOL. 2 divine sense which eh. and then 6 rage charges which isn't bad. but. i digress.

anyway. this was more of a huge thought exercise in order to justify what i'm doing in my fic. and also to think through if i really do want to multiclass my own barb.

funnily enough...... realized path of zealot gives me some wiggle room with stuff.... ehehehe.

[a-driftamongopenstars]

too much to ask; cayde & guardian

exploring some personal thoughts about Cayde through my Guardian :) been really looking forward to writing this ficlet! also on ao3

An equal measure of grief and accord settles around the small camp. A few empty bottles of wine sit by a folding chair, the Ghosts are quietly huddling together, giving space to their Guardians. Crow, after giving the Guardian and Cayde a small drowsy smile, has walked away to join Zavala and Ikora as they overlook the endless valley of the Pale Heart, contemplating. 

Cherish finds herself alone with Cayde. He comes to sit on the ground next to her, plucking a grass stem and fixing it in his mouth. 

“They are not very subtle, are they,” Cayde says. “Really want us to talk, huh.”

“Maybe we should.”

“Not to be all Crow-like, but I agree. We do need to talk, something important.”

Cherish looks at him, a curious sideways glance. 

It's been ages since they have shared a moment like this together. Never been good friends, not even as a mentor and mentee. A friction that neither could express or smooth out. But something companionable always tried to bloom between them. Maybe back then, she wasn't ready yet. And he didn’t want to push.

“You've changed,” Cayde says, and her spine crawls with a shiver. He notices and adds, “Hey, that's not a bad thing. If we all stay the same, what kinda world would that be? Change is beautiful. Painful, uncomfortable, but beautiful. And you turned it around. Look at you.”

Pride swells in her chest, tightening. At what cost is a question that hangs in the air. 

“It… wasn't easy. When you died.”

“Straight to the point, I see. Always liked that about you.”

“I mean it, Cayde,” she turns to look at him, meeting eye to eye. “You died, and I was meant to pick up the pieces. Go on a murder spree, stray from everything I've ever known, and when it was all done, I watched a man die - with a part of myself.”

Cayde's bright glowing eyes focus on her. She wants him to feel her desperate pain that still echoes from that time. Her confusion that muddled the thoughts, her headstrong intentions as she scoured the Reef for Uldren and for answers.

“It's a lot to ask of you, I understand.”

“It was expected as it was questioned. If I could become a vigilante overnight, then why couldn't others. And if I didn’t go and become one, then that would have sent the wrong message.”

Cayde sighs and moves a little closer. To her own surprise, she does the same, until their arms touch. And as another surprise, she finds her fingers encrusted with a layer of Stasis ice, crumbling at her notice. 

It's been too long since those thoughts surfaced quite so physically, and she suddenly feels drained. 

“I'm not gonna apologise,” Cayde prefaces, “but I get it. Maybe even more than you think. And I wish you weren't put in that position. And for that, I am sorry. The Vanguard always asks a lot of you.”

For a moment, they are quiet. 

“So… How did that happen?”

“What?”

Cayde glances over to Crow whose back is still turned, his cape softly flowing with the wind. 

Cherish huffs, rolling her eyes, but her lips are already smiling. 

“No, no, I'm not judging. Just curious. You keep giving each other those eyes and I keep wanting to push y’all into a tent and let you get on with it. Still, wonder how that came ‘round. Can't imagine it being all sunshine and rainbows after… Well.”

“Yeah... We did have some monster hunting, some Ascendant Plane racing, having the Traveler’s premonitions, being babysat by Savathun in disguise…”

As she numbers it off on her fingers, Cayde laughs.

“Well hold on there, tiger, not so fast. A who in disguise?”

“Don't tell me Crow didn't update you on that particular situation. He's efficient with his reports.”

“I'm well aware,” Cayde hums. “But I'd like to hear that from you. If you wanna share. Penny for your thoughts?”

Their eyes meet, and for a moment Cherish feels that maybe that camaraderie, long time in the making, can finally happen. She is different, she did change. So did Cayde.

He offers her an empty hand, and she squeezes it, holding on. But somehow, that handshake is worth a hundred thousand pennies - and a small pile of glimmer. 

[3416]

okay. SO! i’m not a veteran hockey fan i’m a relative rookie (haha) and i would very much appreciate your expertise… i feel like bertuzzi is a good player?? i know he doesn’t have any goals but the way he plays and seemingly gives it his all is crazy impressive and i thought he was really good with mitch and auston? but he’s no longer with them in the starting line and so i’m wondering am i missing something or is this a keefe thing or maybe both… also i don’t like reaves how do you feel about him im so sorry for unloading all of this I JUST LOVE YOUR OPINIONS ON THE LEAFS!!!

JFLKDSJKLF I'M AFRAID I WOULDN'T CALL MYSELF A VETERAN EITHER, LOL, but i do appreciate that people want to hear my opinions, though they're evolving as i learn more and more. but THANK YOU FOR ASKING MY OPINION, I LOVE TALKING, LET'S GO. SORRY FOR THE LONG POST.

bertuzzi basically became a big name at the trade deadline last year as one of the most viable guys being moved around bc teams were trying to bulk up for the playoffs. he was traded to the bruins where it took him a bit of time to warm up tbh.. he played 21 regular season games with them and only scored 4 goals 12 assists, but then scored 5 goals 5 assists in their 7 playoff games before elimination... that made him a really big target during free agency this summer bc he kinda popped off under the most pressure w the playoffs, and the leafs were basically looking to acquire forwards who can do that and bring "grit". now personally..... i don't think watching 1 round of playoff performance is like the wisest decision when he's actually a VERY injury prone player.. like he's good when he's healthy but that's not smth you can predict. but i was also kind of fine with it bc we do need left wingers on this team and it's only a one year deal. at this point i'm feeling very ????? about him because... like the underlying numbers aren't horrible but he's just not finishing. he DOES have 2 goals and 1 assist so far, but plays aren't really like... being completed it feels like when he's out there. keefe's obviously not happy with him after demoting him to 4th line last night and saying he wasn't listening to the way he needed to simplify his game, and idk anything in depth abt the leafs setup or systems or technicalities to their game specifically so. IDK.... i don't know if it's just gonna take him some time to warm up here like it did in boston? or if he's being deliberately ornery/doesn't like it here like boston fans were implying yesterday lol (i doubt it... lol he wants good stats jsut as much as anyone going into ANOTHER contract year lmfao...). there's just no way to know... idk a lot about him personally besides the anti-vax stuff but i've mostly just been... kinda unimpressed with him both on the ice and off it. i don't think he's doomed, i think we just need more time to see.

reaves... i'm gonna be honest and say i have NO clue why he was a target for us or treliving this summer, lol. there is so much discussion about bringing an intangible 'toughness' to this team despite us bringing in some mean players like simmonds and muzzin in the past ... tried it last year at the trade deadline under dubas too with schenn and ror... didn't REALLY work.. and i'm like ? why did we think it was a good idea to overpay and overcommit to a player like reaves who does nothing but offer fights on the ice and good vibes off it. like treliving hadn't been around the leafs long enough to know what they needed in the ~room~, although he did know they lost guys like holl and kerfoot who were universally liked as people so??? maybe that's what he was trying to fill?? i like ryan a lot as a person, but i do think he's actually doomed from a hockey player/stats perspective like.. we will not be getting anything more out of him as a player, and frankly after yesterday where he didn't really fight or get pushy with anyone after the marchand thing... and hasn't since the second game... i'm not sure we'll get the fighting aspect much either.

[quanticowrites]

This is a fine mess we're in Pt. 1 (Henry Standing Bear x Reader)

•• OMG IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I WROTE ANYTHING! I am happy to see others getting into Longmire 👀 and that may have sparked something in me to write this yesterday. I hope you all enjoy! 🥰••

One thing that was nice about living in Durant, was the stillness at night. Even for a small city like Durant was. Tonight was a quiet July Saturday night, and Henry had the ceiling fans on high to try and keep air moving throughout the bar. The sounds of the crickets and cicadas outside were almost drowning out the music coming from the jukebox in the far corner. You and Henry were busy cleaning up the bar. On Saturday nights The Red Pony closed at 2, but you both usually stayed another hour or so to get it cleaned up before leaving. Well, at least before you left. Henry lived above the bar. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw him pause and look at the clock.

“Go on home, (y/n). I can finish this in the morning.” You’d been working for the man for three years, and every Saturday night he pulled the same trick. He never finished it in the morning. It was forgotten about until Tuesday and you both had to rush to finish cleaning before you opened. You’d only let that happen a few times.

“Henry, you know damn well I ain’t doing that.” You smiled with a grunt as you flipped a chair onto a table. “It will be easier just to finish it now.” Henry didn’t have time to give a smart remark as you both jumped at the doors being swung open so hard they crashed into the walls, cracking some picture frames. A man rounded the corner.

“Hey! The bar’s closed! Sorry buddy!” You stated, looking him over. He looked like he’d gone through the wringer. His hair was jetting out every which way and he was caked in sweat. He put his hand up on the doorframe to the bar room and stumbled forward. A bloody handprint was left behind.

“I think y’all are gonna do what I tell ya.” He smirked. You took a fearful step back as he pulled out a gun from the back of his pants. While lifting his jacket you could see that he’d been shot in the lower abdomen. That explained the bloody hand. He quickly pointed it at Henry. “Now you, Cheyenne. Get over there. You too.” You and Henry complied with his order, going to stand beside the Jukebox. He motioned with his gun as he walked behind the bar. “Down on the ground, both of ya.” You crouched before leaning up against the Jukebox.

At the same time, the music shifted to a much louder song and the man snarled, showing his blood-stained teeth. “Shut that piece of junk off!” You hated seeing how your hand shook as you reached around to the other side to unplug it. Being so close to everyone at the Sheriff’s Department, you thought you’d be more than prepared for this type of scenario. You were wrong.

“What do you want?” Henry asked defiantly. His voice stayed as strong as ever. He might have been doing it for your benefit. He probably saw how scared you were. “Just take the money in the cash register and leave.” Henry dictated that last word in a much harsher tone. He laughed.

“I just hit the biggest bank in Durant, I don't need your money.” He picked up the phone before starting to dial a number. “We’re gonna have ourselves a little hostage situation. Long as that dumbass Sheriff gets me what I want, we’ll all go on our merry way and never see each other again.” He flicked his eyes upwards. “Now, just sit there and shut up.”

It was a tense few minutes of silence before the man finally started talking again. You wish he would utter his name so you didn’t have to keep referring to him as the man. It was getting kind of old.

“Yes, Deputy Ferguson, you can help me. See, I just robbed the City of Durant bank. I’d like for you to tell your boss that I’ve got two hostages down at the Indian bar by the Reservation and if my demands ain’t met, well, someone’s gonna get shot.” He shot the screen of the jukebox, just above your head, and you screamed. Glass and sparks showered over the top of you, Henry putting himself between you and the falling debris.

“Are you alright?” He whispered. “Were you cut anywhere?” You gulped down a lump of fear before you could respond.

“Y-yeah, I’m fine.” You somehow found yourself able to let out a low chuckle. “I guess I should’ve let you finish cleaning.” Henry wrapped an arm around your back and gave your shoulder a reassuring squeeze before pulling you closer to him. He pressed you right against his side. Despite the situation, you could almost feel the blush spread across your face. Henry’s eyes never left the man behind the bar, even as the lights from Walt’s bronco came through the windows, you could hear his siren blaring.

“Walt will get him. If he can not, then I will.”

Tag list: (Want to be added? Just ask!)

@stanathanxoox , @nikkiwierden , @malindacath , @havlindzk , @countrygal17a , @memyselfandmaddox , @octobersmog , @mizzezm , @diaryofafan17 , @emmitheacefangirl , @a-sad-excuse-of-everything , @marennnx

[davecall93]

Binge (4)

It took Derek, unsure of how to coordinate his new shape, into the front seat. Coach made no remark about the noticeable change he had undergone in the course of a single day. Derek wondered at his discretion but also was glad that he could ignore the troubling situation. 

The only time the subject was broached was when Coach asked what Derek had been up to that day. Derek, perhaps still somewhat dazed from earlier, answered honestly about the burrito challenge. His response elicited a hearty scoff from Coach.

“You jackasses,” he muttered. “Feeling a little bloated there?”

“A little,” said Derek, bracing for more comments.

“You can do that at your age. It comes right off,” said Coach and that was all. Coach proceeded to talk about the upcoming season and some of the new recruits and how he thought that would do this season. As he listened, Derek realized that while his stomach seemed slightly in retreat, his clothes were feeling tight elsewhere. He felt it especially in his thighs and ass, but also in his sleeves. 

Coach pulled into the Heavenly Palace. The building had the vintage decor of an American style Chinese restaurant, and for many years, it had been a nicer restaurant offering lunch buffet and dinner. In the last few years, a young member of the family had taken it over and redone the dinner menu, turning the evening menu into a profoundly more authentic representation of Chinese cuisine. Smartly, he had kept the lunch buffet, meaning the restaurant could rely on a steady number of college students in the afternoon hours. 

They got out of the car, Derek still a little unsteady, and walked into the restaurant. Rather than going to the hostess stand, Coach went directly up to a man on the phone and tapped him on his shoulder. The man quickly ended his phone call and turned around. He was younger (but certainly older than Derek), quite fit, and walked over to Derek with Coach. 

“Good evening,” he said, “welcome to Heavenly Palace. I am Ray, and I’ll be your server this evening. Please follow me to your table.”

Coach explained to Derek that they would be in one of the private dining rooms in the back. “You’re in for one of the best meals of your life.”

Ray asked if Derek had ever had authentic Chinese food. Derek said he didn’t know exactly what that meant. “Well, I think you’ll find you’re in for quite a treat. Do you like spicy food?”

“The spicier the better,” answered Derek, reluctantly, only because the thought of food was putting him off. 

“Excellent.” Ray led them to a large room, where around a round table with a lazy Susan sat two men, one evidently very tall and bullish looking man, and a stern looking, scruffy man who looked like a bodybuilder. In the corner was a blond, tall, bespectacled stick of a man in a waiter’s uniform. Ray said something to the blond man in Mandarin, and the man walked out of the room. The room was absurdly large for a meant to hold maybe 6 people. On one end of it was a steam table.

“Jerry! It’s been to long.” The man sat up and shook Coach’s hand. From his tone alone, one could tell he was a man who liked to talk. “And you must be Derek? I’m Ralph Dalton, I’m an old friend of your coach’s.Pleased to meet you,” Derek took his hand and shook it. He sat down and pointed to the other man: “This is Mehdi. He’s my assistant.”

“Hello,” said Mehdi. He had a deep voice and seemed less gregarious than his boss. However, he smiled at Derek and looked him right in the eyes, Derek couldn’t help but feel attracted to him. 

For the benefit of Derek, Ray launched into an explanation of the restaurant’s offerings, that the meal would be family style, and teasingly wondered if he needed training chopsticks. The young blond man brought in what Derek made out to be appetizers. Derek recognized none of them but noted that Ralph Dalton did not hesitate to dive in. “We’re gonna need another round of these, Ray” he said, interrupting, a little rudely Derek thought, Ray’s mini-lecture.

“Of course,” said Ray, smiling, unbothered by the interruption. Seeming to forget his explanation, he asked what everyone would be drinking, and again, Ralph said “Beers for us three…he gestured to himself, Coach and Derek…you having beer, princess?” Mehdi ignored the crack and politely ordered a chardonnay. 

Nervous to even start evening, Derek hesitated to put anything on his plate, while the others helped themselves. Ralph noticed and said, “C’mon now, don’t be a wuss. Mehdi, serve Derek him some food.” Mehdi grabbed Derek’s plate and generously served a little of each dish, making what would be half a dinner plate. “That’s too much,” said Derek, meekly, but Mehdi patted him on the thigh. “There’s plenty more coming,” he said, flashing a reassuring smile at Derek. Derek looked to Coach who nodded at him, as if to tell him to accept. 

Derek grabbed his chopsticks and bit into cold chicken, finding the flavor novel and tasty. He worked his way through the cold beef and jelly noodles and bamboo shoots. He reached for the small bowl of tea but nearly burned his hand grabbing it. With fortuitous timing, the blond waiter appeared beside him and placed on the table a large bottle of beer, which Derek picked up to take a few cooling gulps. He made an ooof sound as he put the beer down. 

“You like?” Asked Ralph. 

Derek smiled. “It’s really good.”

“Not too spicy?”

“It’s…different…” said Derek. After his binge that afternoon, he felt reassured that he did not feel that strange fugue state arising. A second round of appetizer came, and this time no one had to tell Derek to serve himself. And, however, normally he was eating, he had a strange feeling all over. He felt the fabric of his clothes clinging to him more, as if his clothes had shrunk. He realized it was fat from his large meal from the afternoon depositing over his body. He grew suddenly anxious and self-conscious about the food entering his mouth. He put his chopsticks down and sat back. But, a few instants later, he had to take a swig of beer because he could feel the lingering effects of the chili and Sichuan pepper. And as he swigged, he could not help but remember what it felt like to be in the trance that afternoon, where the mechanic rhythm of depositing food into his mouth, chewing and swallowing seemed to take him out of his discomfort and into the easy bliss of sensation. 

As he put his beer down, he heard Ray ask if they were ready to order. “Yes! Let’s get this started gentleman," said Ralph enthusiastically, Medhi and Coach lifting their menus to remind them of their choices.

Derek, almost reflexively, picked up a piece of beef with his hand and chewed. As he focused on the movements of his jaw, he felt a slight relief, and, lingering there, did not hear a word of what Ralph ordered, notice how his belt was starting to dig intolerably into his gut, and his slowly expanding ass begin to terminally strain the fabric of the seat of his pants.

[so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed]

20 questions for Fic Writers

I was tagged by the ever wonderful @londonfoginacup and @reminiscingintherain thank you so much!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

94, though I think one is a collab and one is a translation. But 90+

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

I am gonna do some math here and take off the translation because that adds 220k to my wordcount and that doesn't feel fair, lol. So that leaves 1.243.681 words. Minus about 12k that I didn't write lol, that's still a lot.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently just 1D but I am talking about writing a Lestappen fic so I might branch out!

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

a game that I'm destined to lose [1449 kudos, but it's from 2012] midnight doesn't last forever [1190 kudos, but it's from 2013] you've set my soul to dreaming [1162 kudos] room for your love underneath this tree [1151 kudos] some things fade (some never do) [1047 kudos]

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Um. Theoretically yes. Realistically, I haven't caught up since March and the number in my inbox is too high to look at.

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I usually write HEA but I guess the one that I remember with more of an ambiguous ending is and there's no one to blame except then Sus made me write a follow up so I guess it has a happy ending now.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

All of them? I mean, I put the characters through some serious angst, but after that, they all get their very deserved happy ending.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not that I know of. If I do, it's not in my face.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Occasionally. I write either quirky smut, or I write stuff for wankersday, because the only smut I write is stuff that doesn't involve other people directly apparently.

10. Do you write crossovers? What the craziest one you’ve written?

Not really, but I have a HP AU I should write at one point.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yep! Someone tried to sell TNFIF online on Amazon. With a really ugly cover. Thankfully writing Tumblr came together and sent in so many bad reviews that the seller took it down.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, a few!!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I've done a round robin a few years ago, which wasn't really my style. I've started writing an advent fic with @evilovesyou but we never got around to finishing it. I will hopefully write a fic with @chaotic-bells soon!

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

For as much Larry as I write, my first true love was Ziam.

15. What’s a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I am stubborn enough to believe I will finish all my WIPs. Eventually.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Emotions, I think. I've made people cry, so that's nice!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Mostly I think I struggle not to make everything too in depth. A 5k fic probably doesn't need 3k of worldbuilding.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I've come across it a lot in Lestappen fics and I don't mind it as long as the translation is right behind it, and as long as it's not google translated stuff (or as long as it's google translated stuff in a language I don't know).

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Possibly Gilmore Girls. I've written for a ton of fandoms, though I've been a 1D only writer since 2012.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

That's like asking me to choose between my non existent children. If I have a favourite, I can't say it out loud. (But it's this one, for all it brought me)

I'm not sure who hasn't been tagged at this point, so I am gonna tag @jacaranda-bloom and @beardyboyzx and anyone in the @1dcreatorclubhouse who wants to do it!

[grigori77]

Critical Role, Campaign 3 Episode 58

Matt Mercer, destroyed before he can begin ...

Oh gods ... not more terrible French Sam ... look at Marisha, she's already losing it completely ... and now there's a ghost? WTF? Wow ... so good and SOOOOOO BAD both at the same time ...

Yes. Give them ALL a raise!

New game! New system! CANDELA OBSCURA!!! Ooooooooooooh ... yes, gimme gimme gimme! Especially with added Robbie!

Yes. Everything that follows will be CHETNEY'S fault ...

Aaaaaaaaaaah! Roll initiative! Already! Aaargh!

Battlemap's already nightmare fuel, not good ...

Travis: "if everybody rolls zbove a ten we'll win!" Sam (to Ashley): "So what'd you roll?" Ashley: "Six." Oof ...

This thing screams and INSTANT psychic damage? Ooooooh fuck ...

Go off FRIDA!!! Badass round!

"Eyeless teeth and mouths swirling in space"? Dear gods, Matthew ...

Blood Curse of Bloated Agony! Sweeeeeeeeet ... and TURMOIL!!! Yes! And WOW nice damage ...

Legendary Action? Shit ... CHEW?!!! Oh fuck ... OUCH!!! DOUBLE FUCK!!!

No Sympathetic Bond for Fearne? Ashley (angfily amused): "What the fuck?!"

Angry butts ... hmmm ... and "moist", "glistening" ... gods, please SOMEBODY STOP THEM BOTH!!!

Matt: "Big risks, Big rewards, big ... fuckery if you fail!"

"PUSH THROUGH THE SLAW!!!" Oh my fucking gods ...

Roll a 22 or tank ... Laura: "Well I got ONE of the numbers!" Yeah ... she rolled a TWO ... "No! I don't do yhat!" I DO NOT blame her for wanting to retcon THAT mess ...

Lightning damage! YES!!! Tumble down the stairs! NOOOOOO!!!

Another Chew? 21 points of piercing damage on FCG? Ouch!

No! Not Fearne too! Aaaaaaah! And now she's GRAPPLED too!

Shit. The place is now ON FIRE!!!

Aabria: "How many of its BUTTS fell off?" Matt: "It is now minus 4 butts."

CONSUME?!!! I'm sorry, CONSUME?!!! Fuck that's a lot if rolling ... NOOOOOOO!!! Fearne is DOWN!!! And she has just been fucking EATEN!!!

A DEATH SAVE?!!! Already? 9? FUCK!!! 1 fail already?

Save her! Yes! Do it! YEEEEEESSSSSSS!!!

Spare the Dying! Yes! Do it! Thank fuck ...

FRIDA!!! Badass protector!

Chetney renders Fearne invisible with his "sexy claws". XD

Travis: "You son of a birch, you BAITED ME!!!"

FCG's new and improved bolt thrower ... is INEFFECTUAL. Balls ...

Spiritual Weapon towel whip attack ... NAT1?!!! Fuck me ...

The Thing is POOPING ITSELF down the stairs towards Imogen. Dear fucking gods ...

Laura: "WHAT AM I GONNA DO?!!! WHERE AM I GONNA GO!!!" Matt: "That's a good question." Ooh, you evil bugger ...

Giant Pacman maw ... no teeth? Just a gummy rend ... BLACK BILE?!!! What?

Oh fuck, roll good, Ashley! Oh no, what is that face, Ashley? 9? No ... and Fearne's gone again! FUCK!!! One failed death save AGAIN!!!

Channel Divinity? Ooooh ... YES!!! Half her HP back! Fearne's back up! Thank fuck ... Nice one, Deanna!

Spiritual Weapon ... Deanna conjures a mystical DivaCup! Which doesn't do ANYTHING!!!

Fearne (now awake): "I can't see my hands ... I CAN'T SEE MY HANDS!!!" Chetney werewolf: "You're invisible." Fearne: "Oh."

Rot! ROT AWAY, YOU FUCKER!!! Nice one, Fearne.

Aabria: "I don't like short-form improv. Get the fuck out of here."

Chewing on FRIDA!!! NOOOO!!! AAAAAAHHH!!!

Shit! The fire is now becoming A PROBLEM!!!

Flaming crossbow bolt! Yesssssss, FRIDA! A miss? Balls ... second hits, though! Phew ... plus Sharpshooter! Cool ... 21 points altogether thanks to the fire! And it DOESN'T LIKE the fire! Good! Use that!

Matt: "You might take some fire damage if you stay there." Christian: "I always take fire damage when I'm next to Faithful Care Giver!" Cue appreciative yelps! XD

Travis (singing): "REEEEEEEEEAAAD the meat!" Oh dear gods ... and then "treetrunk of skin" ... this is getting so nasty ...

Another Chew on FCG ... aaargh ... 25 points of piercing damage! Sam: "I'm okay!"

Aabria: "BAD butthole!" Laura: "It's horrible in here!" Snort ... Evolution for the WIN!!! XD

Telekinetic Pull ... she's gonna try to PULL IT DOWN into the room WITH HER?!!! Seriously, Imogen?

Fuck, and now it is COMING FOR HER!!! Bite and Constrict! Shit! 29 fucking points of damage! Jeebus!

A SECOND Death Ward on Chetney! Man, Deanna is REALLY upset right now!

The Divine DivaCup finally comes good ... and it's SO BAD ... LOL ...

Aabria: "GOD WHAT A BIT!!! I'm so punished for this fucking bit!"

Fuck ... now IMOGEN's being eaten? FUCK!!! And NOBODY'S SEEN IT either! NOOOOOOO!!!

Fearne goes running, as she should ... Burning Hands! Oh fuck yes! She has a level of Rogue! Bonus action Dash! DO IT ASHLEY!!! YEEEEEEESSSSSS!!! Wait ... it's SECOND LEVEL?!!! FUCK!!!

Still, Burning Hands works ... Ashley gets the HDYWTDT!!! YES!!! She cuts this bitch RIGHT OPEN to carve Imogen out and now it's just a ruined peel ... Nice.

FRIDA's Guiding Bolt lights up the thingy ... but doesn't manage to activate it. FCG follows through ... IT'S OPEN!!! YES!!!

Ooooh, loot! An old satchel ...

Panic makes for poor investigation ... stop getting burned while you insist on continuing to dig!

Oh, this place is FUCKED. Best get out NOW.

Travis: "I stand and take the flames in the name of love!" Matt: "Do you?" Travis: "No." XD

FRIDA's staying? Seriously? And Chetney too ... the ceiling is now cracking? No, it's ... fuck, NEW CREATURE coming out of the old? Fuck ... RUUUUUUUUUNNNNN!!!

Wow ... some kind of twisted monster dryad thing ... yuck! Sick shit ... FUCK THAT THING IS HUGE!!!

Oh nice, Imogen's telekinesis FTW!!! YEEEEESSS!!!

Getting out of the tower now ... nighttime ... hmmmm ...

Yeet that sucker, Imogen! With a Bless from Deanna ... 31! Oh yes! Proper CHUCKED!!! Right into the fire! Nice ...

Everybody's out now ... and the burning tower is providing light for them. Where's the Wolfking?

Pass Without A Trace at THIRD level now ... just in time, looks like.

Stoneshape to BLOCK THE DOOR!!! Sweet save, FCG!

Mass Cure Wounds! Nice, Deanna!

Group Stealth Check! Nobody better fudge ...

Shit ... bad roll = big tumble for FRIDA ... and now they've been detected again! Here comes the Wolfking!

Just RUN, guys!

Like foglamps in mist ... lovely! Not a mistake at all ...

Over the wall ... wow, that was a MESS. Shit ... oh fuck, here it comes!

So did they make it, or ...

Into the THICK TANGLE of the Savalirwood. Hmmmmmm ...

Imogen's guiding them ... Nat20! Yes! Thank fuck ...

Everybody takes SIX POINTS OF PIERCING DAMAGE just from pushing through the foliage! Fucking hell ...

They've lost the Wolfking ... thank fuck ... Matt: "And that's where we're gonna take a break!"

Holy fuck, that unused Wolfking mini is INSANE!!!

Back to the game ... and an adrenaline DUMP now ... everybody's crashing.

Apparently, 26 is "pretty solid".

Hiding place ... yes. That's what they need right now.

Oh yeah, the satchel ...

Chetney: "We produce heat, y'know." Deanna: "Oh, I don't wanna be horny right now, I'm so tired!"

The satchel IS A BOOBY-TRAP!!! Fuck, that's a lot of damage to FCG ... Travis: "Say it ..." Sam: "I'm okay!"

EMPTY?!!! SERIOUSLY?!!!

Laura: "Ask for Ludinus' notes." Wait ... FUCK!!! It's a Bag of Holding!

Turn it upside down and SHAKE IT!!! Yes ... empty that bitch out!

Lots if papers ... and they're blank. Chetney: "Of course they are ... we need lemons!"

Turn the paper into a human? Is that REALLY a plan you're considering? Matt: "What am I? Kill me! I shouldn't exist!" XD

Smooth wooden rod ... ensuing giggles ... Matt: "It's NOT A DILDO!!!"

Armour ... hmmm ... Matt trying SO HARD to not accidentally describe a strap-on ... and he's failing. Matt: "Laura Bailey, fuck you!" LOL

Deanna can indeed read this ... yes. Here we go ... AND MATT HAS NOTES FOR HER!!! Nice ...

Staff of Dark Odyssey? Hmmmmmm ... wait ... they now have TELEPORT?!!! Oh snap!

Major note-based infodump ... the harness has a purpose here! Hmmmm ... magical infusion ... Fey entities throughout Wildemount ... "Feeding the Route"?

So Ludinus has basically been turning powerful entities into energy to make himself stronger. Fuck. Evil bastard gets even more evil.

History check ... 12 ... Aabria: "I've never read a book. I'm actually OLDER than books." XD

Next batch of notes ... Ruidus stuff! Laura: "Oh shit!"

Sam's flask ... "Where's Vax'ildo?" Oh dear gods ... Sam, WHY?!!!

Oh yeah, Ludinus got up to some SCARY summoning shenanigans ...

Any way to make notes ... ensuing printer humour ... oh, I know this horror all too well ...

Third batch ... a "crystal well"? Hmmmmmm ...

Imogen: "He didn't even know what he was waking up, he just had a hunch." Yup ... pure narcissism ...

Yes. Take the notes back to Uthodurn. Use the staff?

Chetney suggesting either Rexxentrum or Vasselheim ... hmmm ... might work.

Beau and Caleb mentions ... Imogen: "She had abs for days!" XD

Bayestra? What? Hmmmmmmm ...

FCG's right, they KNOW Uthodurn. Might be best ...

Oh, Fearne meant Ivaadel ... I'm blanking ...

Timeshares ... Chetney: "Oh yeah, Menagerie Coast's full of 'em." XD

The Arch Heart ... Emerald Cross? Hmmm ...

Imogen has a good point, they need to GET THE OTHERS BACK FIRST before they do anything else. Go back to Uthodurn and then to Jrusar!

Archmage of Domestic Protection? Ashley's notes are a wild ride ...

FRIDA makes a good point, they're currently A MESS. Best rest first before going ANYWHERE.

Oh, here we go, jumping into a dream odyssey again. Hmmmm ...

Christian had something MADE?!!! Aaawwwwwwww ... what? So cuuuuuuuuuute ... Sam snd Christian, matching hoodies! :3

The lighting change! THE LIGHTING CHANGE!!! AAAAAAHHH!!!

Sweet, soothing memory lane ... FRIDA's past is warm and friendly ... Laerryn? Oh, here we go ...

Still nothing concrete ... glimpses of war ... going deeper ... Nat20! Nice, Laura!

Oh ... oh, this doesn't look good ... what are they DOING?!!! This is some hairy shit ...

10 ... Laura: "That's a scary roll!"

Ah, so this is a defensive action? Hmmmm ... pushing back to see what they're defending ... a contraption of great immensity ... hmmmm ... "Protect the Factorum!"

Oh shit ...

The Factorum Malleus ... ah yes ... of course ...

Fuck ... so D REPAIRED FRIDA as well as resuscitating them ...

FRIDA: "I don't feel better, I feel ... ominous. It feels OMINOUS."

Chetney made FRIDA a little wooden ACTION FIGURE!!! :3

FRIDA starts crying oily tears ... and Fearne just HAS TO try and TASTE that stuff! XD

Need to find more friends ... and need to find THEIR FRIENDS ... yeah ...

Chetney cheering distraught Deanna up in the cutest way ... :3 And he made HER a sweet little shell carving too. Awwwwwwwww ... and YAY!!! HUGS!!!

Oh shit ... is Deanna REALLY considering trying out crazy werewolf sex?

Oh lawd it's actually happening ... and it's filthy kinky ... and Fearne gives her blessing! LOL Wait ... Fearne is actually TAKING PART?!!! Dear gods ...

Lots of crazy noises in the night ... hmmm ... (snort) XD

Oh, the morning after discussion is something else ... XD I agree, this episode suddenly got so horny ...

So ... off to Jrusar? Okay ... or Whitestone ... hmmm ... decisions decisions ... wait, ZEPHRAH?!!! Really?

Ask the Changebringer? Okay ... oh yes, best to be PRECISE about this shit ...

Ooooh ... oh, this is different ... oh, a much more PROPER contact this time ... he's actually getting a genuine COMMUNION with her this time ... Holy shit, a voice on the wind? Awesome ...

FUCK!!! Orym, Laudna and Ashton ARE STILL ALIVE!!! WOW!!!

FCG trying to find out about his future with FRIDA, if it will be long ... WHOA, this just got intense ...

A proper plea for aid from a god ... wow ...

Wait ... what's happening to Deanna? Aaaaaah ... oh ... wait ... OH!!! It's the Dawnfather! Sweet! Okay ... He's pretty intense with it, but ... yeah, she's into it. XD Whoa ... The Red End? Hmmmm ..

Oooh ... the Changebringer coin's all shiny now . Holy shit! MATT GAVE HIM A FUCKING CARD FOR THE COIN!!! AWESOME!!!

Deanna gives Chetney her Ring of Temporal Protection. Sweet!

Imogen accepts Fearne's offer of the fancy staff. And the other one's a Plane Shifter? Intriguing ... oh, and Chetney gets the Bag of Holding.

Wait a fucking minute ... did CHETNEY make that MURDER FURNITURE from the first episode?

THAT'S what RTA stands for? Seriously?

Okay, so ... Imogen tries the teleportation staff ... oh boy ...

Go find Zhudanna? Yes. Good choice. Or Spire By Fire? Hmmmmm ...

Wait, it does her PSYCHIC DAMAGE when she uses it? Fuck ... and here ... we ... GO!!!

Matt: "And we'll pick up there next week!" Shit ...

Sam is rolling a D100 with Matt and we CAN'T KNOW what the result is? You bastards ...

[fat-hedonistic-hogs]

How about another girl joining the fatrooms? Like Bulma or Towa?

"Alright Bulma.. You've got this! If this invention works you'll revolutionize energy production for everyone on earth! 1...2...3!" Bulma yelled closing her eyes as she flipped the on switch of her latest invention. It was a miraculous new creation designed from remnants of various evil scientist's works. Given the sheer number of them the z fighters had faces she decided to combine their surprisingly advanced technology in order to create a device that theoretically could produce infinite energy!

A blinding flash of light enveloped the laboratory and Bulma felt her skin tingle as she was bathed in cosmic rays. This wasn't part of the plan! She panicked yanking the switch down causing it to break off. The entire world shook for just a moment as space bent and reality cracked... and just like that she was gone leaving nothing but a scorch mark on the floor.

"Son of a... Now we're gonna have to waste a wish bringing me back to li- Wait isn't other world... where the hfil am I?" She asked rubbing her eyes which were still a bit dazed after the flash. "Well infinite energy is off the table but teleportation isn't anything to sneeze at! Now how the heck do I get out of here?" Bulma asked herself her own voice echoing as she got a good look at her surroundings. She was in some sort of abandoned mall, or atleast that's what she thought it was. The place was huge and rather run down but the power was still on even if the lights above her head flickered every few seconds. "Guess I better make my way to an exit.

She sighed hoping she didn't go too far from west city, she didn't have a phone on her but she'd be able to contact Vegeta once she got somewhere with one. "Man just how big is this place?" She groaned as she walked passed empty stores devoid of any kind of life. Clothes, creepy children's toys and electronics were scattered on the floor making the entire scene seem unnerving. "Its all in my head... just nerves from the shock that's all, it's just a creepy abandoned mall nothing more." Bulma said picking up the pace passing infront of clothing store full of faceless mannequins.

The clocks were no help trying to pin point the time. The ones not broken or smashed on the floor were left spinning wildly round and around. She had no sense of time either since the place seemed to have no windows just more and more stores and escalators going up to higher floors surely shed be at the exit soon enough. The place wasn't endless...

"Ugh I feel like I've been walking for HOURS! My stomachs starting to kill me..." Bulma groaned her gut growling with hunger. Thankfully salvation was close at hand. There was a food court and not just any food court one that had mysterious tables all stocked with freshly made burgers still warm and steaming as they sat on napkins and plastic plates. "What the? Who the heck leaves food out in an abandoned mall? And it looks like these were just made..." Bulma said a bit confused as she carefully picked up a burger and examined it. It looked normal enough and smelt real and not rotten. Her hunger only seemed to intensify as the greasy smell of the sandwiches filled her nostrils. "Kami forgive me for being so stupid but I feel like I'll eat my own leg if I don't grab a bite soon." She groaned shoveling the burger into her mouth smearing her face with ketchup and grease as she tore into it like a hungry animal. The petite scientist wasn't a heavy eater but she managed to clean the plate in no time flat finishing with a loud "BWOOOOOOOOORP!" That rattled some bear by glass. "Man that was delicious! Just what I needed now back to looking for a way out of this creepy place." Bulma said before turning her attention to a large jumbo sized soda and basket of chili fries. ".... okay maybe a snack to go." She said blushing as she swiped the basket and drink before going back on her path. Each step she took was met with a gulp of her drink or a handful of messy fries being shoveled into her mouth. She didn't bother to grab napkins so she simply wiped and cleaned her mouth with her arm for now slowly adding more and more stains to her futuristic looking jumpsuit. The routine of eating and walking helped get her mind off the creepy atmosphere of the seemingly colossal sized mega mall with Bulma oblivious to her own softening features. Food was all she had and she didn't even question why her fries never seemed to end or how each sip of her drink always gave her a sweet sugar mouthful of soda despite being chugged at for over an hour straight.

"Oh another food court!" She said perking up as spotted a rundown looking stand in the shape of a burger. Waddling over Bulma ignored the groaning of the stool beneath her rear of the sound of threads tearing as she began to out grow her jumpsuit. She grabbed armfuls of hotdogs, pizza, burgers and more piling them up on a singular table and helping herself. "It's been a few hours I think... Someone will... BLRRROOOOORT! Huff... come for me soon. Just gotta hunker down and wait for help. Beats walking all day." She groaned cheeks wobbling as she suckled down a mustard covered hotdog and let lose a few rancid bursts of gas. Her plan had changed from finding a way out to waiting for rescue. She didn't need to worry about escape! She had everything she needed right infront of her.

Fat sausage fingers shoveled food towards a pair of ketchup stained lips while a exposed pair of breasts caught falling food and leftovers like a massive pig trough. A table stacked high with food sat in the center of the food court with Bulma at its base stuffing and gorging herself more and more. Legs became tree trunk sized and her ass had long sense swallowed the stool she once sat on. Manners and shame forgotten as she shoved her head face first into a plate of nachos lapping up cheese and crunchy chips with her tongue.

Her once beautiful complexion ruined by grease and food clogging her pores. Her hair greasy and long rolling down her back after ages of being uncut or washed. Even her nose changed flattening and becoming a snout from the countless hours of being pressed against plates and dishes. She was like a gargantuan hog only capable of seeing the mountain of food infront of her and not caring about anything else. She ate and ate till she couldn't even move her bingo wing covered arms any more. She was a glutton a bottomless garbage disposal for junk food and slop.

The food never stopping and her stomach never filling, the once brilliant scientist reduced to a eating machine driven only by the never ending need to stuff herself... help wouldn't come but even if it did... would she care?

[ive-tumbled-down-a-rabbit-hole]

Are waffles that important?

Meet Cute Monday 41

This was started and meant to be writing for pride month. It failed when work decided to be manic, and I got lost all spare time and energy to write as numbers and reports consumed my life. But hay! At least I can now get round to finishing this now.

Masterlist

MCM Masterlist

…................................................

Steph crows as Jason helps her with the bags of ball pool/pit balls. The plan is genius and serves Dick right for eating the last waffle. It was hers! It had her name on it. Well, maybe not literally her name but still it was hers, she had claimed it, and she will have her revenge. Screw what Bruce says about that, this is for the sake of waffles and waffle kind.

“Ya know, Blondie, one of us should really keep an eye out in case Goldie returns any time soon.”

“Jaaaay, who’ll help me pour the balls into his car then!?”

“I dunno, this is more than a two-person job though. I def don’t wanna know how the hell you got so many either.”

“I have my ways. I’m not the only one with contacts ya know.”

“Whatever. I’m gonna grab some more bags from the van. I still think you need to keep Dick distracted.”

“That means finding a red head and where am I gonna find one of those?!”

“Call Barbie then.”

“He’ll suspect Babs.”

“Roy would give the prank away and Wally would cave to Dickhead, Blondie so don’t use them.”

Steph pouted as she continued to pour the rainbow balls in through the window into Dick’s unsuspecting car as Jason walked off to get more of her cargo. The car was half filled now and getting to the point where she would need to have to put the windows up and start using the sunroof as she watched others wander past staring at her actions. Maybe Jason was right that she needed a look out and maybe someone else to help speed up the car filling. Dick had only popped in the shop to gather a few items for Alfred. Steph knew that he’d get distracted in the cereal aisle and sneak more into the shop but that still was pushing it time wise.

Glancing about the civilians meandering towards the shop, Steph looked out for her targets in aiding in her prank. Getting the spare keys was easy enough with Damian kicking off earlier about yet another pet. Dick won’t suspect a thing, but she really did need to speed up.

It was when Jason was walking back carrying two more bags that Steph saw them. The gorgeous black-haired goddess with a red head victim. She was perfect. They both were.

With a demonic smile, as they approached Steph whistled to get their attention as she put the half empty bag down and leant against the car.

“Hi! Do ya think you could help me?”

The girls glanced and held a silent conversation between themselves before edging cautiously closer, much to Stephs amusement but pleased that they weren’t silly and trusting a stranger. This was still Gotham after all.

“What sort of help?”

The dark haired one stated, her rose-pink lips sparkling in the hazed sun of Gotham distracting Steph. Jason’s cough covered laugh drew Steph back to her mission.

“I need you Ruby,” pointing at the red head, “To distract my not brother, while you Sapphire,” pointing at the dark-haired woman, “help me fill his car with balls while my other not brother gets more of them.”

“How do we know this isn’t some sort of weird heist and that there isn’t a bomb in the car, and you’re not going to try and kidnap us for some international something?”

“Marinette?!”

Steph raised her eyebrows at that dramatic turn. Not even Tim would think like that... potentially... maybe...

Jason snorted more behind her.

“Can’t say I’ve heard someone ask that when pulling a prank pixie. But we’re not, just harmless revenge for Goldie eating Blondies last waffle.”

“We’ll help! What’s your brother look like? What’s the best way to distract him according to your knowledge?”

“Alya?!”

“Come on girl! The last waffle, Blondie is basically playing Sunshine when Nino eats the last croissant.”

“I... yes but...”

As Steph fist pumped the air before starting to take the bags off Jason shooing him away to get more. The women, Marinette and Alya, whispered aggressively together, shooting Steph stray looks, as Marinette waves her arms around animatedly.

“FINE!”

“We’ll do! Ignore M’s exaggerating. He must be punished for his heinous crimes. So, your brother?”

Steph dug her phone out and showed Ayla a few pictures of Dick so she would recognise him.

“I’m Steph by the way and Jason is helping with balls. So, this is Dick, who lives up to his name. He likes red heads and a major flirt. Just need to look distressed and flirt a little to distract him.”

“Alya, and no problem, he may have a nice butt, but I’m happily taken but some harmless flirting for the revenge can be worked with. Nino understands the sacrifices that need to be made with the many battles due to M’s croissants he has entered.”

“Awesome. I’ll get your friend to call you when we’re ready.”

“Cool. I’ll leave Marinette in your safe hands. I have a guy to mess with.”

Alya beamed with a mischievous nature as she bounced towards the store. Steph kind of felt bad for Dick on what she unleashed, only slightly though. He shouldn’t have eaten the last waffle and Alya seemed to get the tragedy of the situation and was fully invested in her revenge, so meh! Marinette, her sparkling sapphire in the Gotham gloom, seemed slightly more apprehensive about it all. Steph tried sending Marinette a reassuring flirty smile as she handed the woman a bag of colourful balls before reaching for her own.

Steph couldn’t really tell if it worked as Marinette turned and started to pour balls into the car via the opened sunroof. Getting a read on the sparkling sapphire was like getting a read on Tim in the early days. She broke his barriers. She’ll break Marinettes.

“Should we worry about Dick with Ruby being that enthusiastic?”

“*snort* probably. You’ve unleashed a demon. Alya loves prank wars and drama. She will be filming the reaction at the end of this you realise.”

“Nice! He deserves every ounce of revenge bestowed on him for eating MY waffle!”

The soft smile Marinette sent Stephs way sent her heart racing again. She really did light up the Gotham gloom with the pastel shades wore and alluring sparkling eyes.

“Are waffles that important?”

“Yes!! Especially Alfreds. We won’t talk about his pancakes. But his waffles are to kill for but, killing it frowned upon and all that, so revenge is the best next thing.”

“It does seem that siblings all do aim for revenge an awful lot.”

“Only child?”

“Yeah. Always thought it would be nice to have sibling's until I’d seen Alya and others with theirs. Then I think it might be a blessing given the shouting matches and ‘stolen’ objects, you know.”

Marinette put the empty bag down to watch Steph finish hers while they waited for Jason to return with more.

“Ditto. Well, sorta, I’m emotionally adopted by the family and for all intents and purposes they are my siblings. I was an only child before I met them. It definitely quieter in a way but I wouldn’t go back.”

The pair continued to chat and slowly disclose information to each other filling up the car with Jason now focused on collecting bags. By the time Marinettes phone interrupted a story about Adrien stealing all Nino’s left socks for eating the last croissant, the car was filled to the brim. Switching to French, Marinette answered before manically gesturing to the pair of Gothamites that they needed to hide as continued her conversation with Alya. Steph grabbed Marinettes hand while Jason grabbed the remaining bags as they darted to the other side of the carpark to hide behind some other cars to watch the carnage unfurl.

Steph could see Alya slowly leaving the store behind Dick still on the phone to Marinette as she waved him off when he looked concerned for her. Steph watched as he made is way slowly through the crowds towards his car with Alya recording, though looking like she was using her phone as a map as a disguise. Jason had his own phone out recording too much to Steph’s delight.

Dick arrived at his car with the shopping and, not focused on the glimmer of colours that hinted of their existence from behind the tinted windows, opened the boot of the vehicle to be rained upon with rainbow balls. They poured everywhere in a torrent surrounding the frozen Dick, his shopping and cascaded out into the car park.

The confusion on Dicks face was priceless. The horror as the stream of never-ending balls was hilarious. The anger when he finally processed the situation was umm, err, a little worrying. The whole thing was perfect. Amazing. It had gone exactly how Steph had hoped it would. Marinette’s soft giggles and Jasons quiet chuckles made it even better.

Dick reached for his phone in his pocket to call someone, much to Steph’s glee knowing Babs would be on her side when she uncovered the heinous crime bestowed upon her. Alfred would have his disappointed look up would tell Dick that he was an adult so to sort it out. Bruce, well Bruce would bury his head in paperwork to ignore it all.

It was when Bootylicious blasted out of Steph’s pocket as her phone went off that she froze. Marinette and Jason tensed next to her as they all saw Dick’s furious gaze turn on them.

“Shit!”

“Well Blondie! It’s been nice workin’ wiv ya, but I’m off. No way I’m letting Goldie catch me and getting' in a war wiv ‘im. I’ll send ya the footage later ‘K.”

As Jason darted away, Steph tightened her grip on Marinette’s hand that she had yet to let go of.

“Sapphire, we need to run on three, got it!”

“Three!”

Marinette pulled Steph causing Steph to stumble momentarily as Marinette unexpectedly jumped into action to escape the fuming waffle-villain who was wading through the escaped balls towards them.

A laugh broke through Steph’s mouth as their feet pounded the pavement as Marinette led the streetwise Gothamite away. Where to, Steph didn’t know and didn’t really care. It meant that she got to spend more time with Marinette. And avoided Dick’s anger.

Sapphire Her revenge was perfect.

[silverhallow]

I’m gonna be greedy and ask for another smutty Philoise Drabble for the prompt: “Get back down here, we’re not done yet.” 😅

Hahaha that’s fine 🥰

Words: 535

Warnings: sexual references, face sitting, swearing, eating food off another person, implied shower sex

Eloise had had good sex in her life before Phillip, she’d thought she knew amazing sex but boy had she been wrong.

She’d had her fair share of partners, male and female but nothing compared to the way Phillip made her feel.

Case and point, tonight they were child free, the twins were with Sophie and Benedict having a sleep over with their boys and they’d gone off to a hotel in London and honestly, she thought she was going to black out if she came anymore.

They’d been at it for hours, stopping for some room service inbetween, and used some of said room service in their fun…

Who knew eating chocolate and whipped cream off a person made it all the better…

Though the resultant sticky mess had resulted in round… 6… 7, god she had no idea, she’d lost count, in the shower…

She knew she was going to be walking funny tomorrow. She knew that when she picked the twins up, Sophie would be laughing at her. “Quiet night my arse”

There had been nothing quiet about their activities… she felt a little sorry for the person who was going to have to clean the place after they left and really sorry for those in the neighbouring rooms, heck the entire floor… but Phillip liked to make her scream, and she rather enjoyed making him yell as well…

By the time they’d showered, dried and settled into bed, Eloise thought perhaps they were done, she’d lost count of her orgasms by this point but there was no way that Phillip could cum again… surely he was onto number 7 or 8 himself… she was actually starting to get a little worried about him, no man could maintain that level of stamina surely…

But Phillip seemed dead set on making Eloise actually black out, and when she went to crawl from the bed to brush her teeth he looked at her with predatory eyes “get back down here.. We’re not done yet…”

“Aren’t you tired?!” Eloise asked as Phillip grabbed her arm and pulled her back onto the bed.

“Not at all… I need a snack and I want you to sit on my face” Phillip smirked “then i’m going to fuck you until you blackout”

Eloise gulped, the look in his eyes made her wet, she knew that was what was coming and it made her excited, she loved it when Phillip was like this… predatory, in control…

“Are you going to do as you’re told or am I going to have to punish you” he asked with a wiggle of his brows and a swift spank to her bottom.

“I…” she squeaked “i’m moving” she giggled as she moved into position and he didn’t even warn her… just buried his face straight into her causing her to scream.

It took two more hours before she came so hard she blacked out. It was without a doubt the best night of her life, so far…

Though checking out the following morning and the look on the receptionist's face when she asked that they not come back again as they had a lot of noise complaints…

well…

it was still worth it.

[9w1ft]

What do you think the setlist for Loverfest would've been? 🙃💔

shucks i feel like there are many other people who would be technically better at answering this question

working backwards, i would assume that 18 full songs would’ve been too many for a setlist, so i think that INTHAF would have been relegated to background music during a set/costume change. maybe right before she would come back on stage to do something like play daylight on the piano.

i also think the archer would have gotten similar background music treatment (sadly because i love the song)

does IFTYE make the list? i’m not sure. she could not play it and people could laugh about how she forgot it, so maybe it doesn’t make the cut either. i’d have to assume SYGB and false god are also candidates for being cut, sadly.

i bet cornelia street would have been acoustic like on the city of lover tour, maybe similarly back to back with DBATC.. and i think afterglow would have sounded really good in a stadium.

maybe cruel summer is the opener?? what do you all the opener is? i feel like ITHN would be in the front half of the concert. somehow i think paper rings would be a front half song as well.

maybe lover is played more toward the middle. but is it on piano? is it a dramatic orchestral number? i think it would be dreamy for her to sing it while flying over the audience. but did her venues allow for that kind of mobility? after all she was going to be surrounded in the middle. not sure where a wire system would attach to.

which reminds me, WHAT was she planning with that stage?? was it gonna rotate? was it gonna go up and down? was she gonna move from it? how many dancers were gonna fit on that thing?? i once again am desperate to see any official concept art.

i guess another new element to consider is, she could’ve been out during tour. so, would her setlist have incorporated some sort of narrative element around that. would she end the setlist with a YNTCD, instead of a London Boy, for example. or maybe ME! rounds things off.

and where would she fit in a greatest hits medley? wait well, in this supposed timeline, where are her masters? maybe she plays no old music? i bet she would’ve used the man as a chance to make a visual statement about her masters (like the AMA performance), if this was the case.

for me it’s very fun to think about. there are so many little points of interest to base guesses on.

i’d love to hear what other people think!!