#good. but dense.

[cultivating-wildflowers]

Books of 2023 - December (and a wrap-up)

And that's a wrap!

Extremely happy with my reading in general this year. I got to all but one of the books I absolutely wanted to get to in 2023 (and was only disappointed by a few of those); I revisited some old favorites; and I found plenty of unexpectedly delightful stories.

December was definitely a wrap-up month terms of finishing both my 2023 TBR (so. close.) and my impulse goal of reading a new-to-me book with a title for each letter of the alphabet. (That X, man.... That was difficult. I think I'll do it again next year.) There are about 30 titles left on my reading tracker, mostly stuff I threw on there to fall back on if I needed a change, or audiobooks I had on standby for boring days at work.

Audiobooks saved me this year.

And with that: my reviews, and then a little wrap-up and a summary of my plans for next year.

Total books: 5  |  New reads: 5   |  2023 TBR completed: 2 (0 DNF) / 24/25 total   |   2023 Reading Goal: 90/50

November | January 2024

#1 - Eugene Onegin by Alexander Pushkin (tr. Babette Deutsch) - 4/5 stars

It's so much more difficult to write reviews about 200-year-old classics than modern spec-fic. This book made me laugh, which is a solid point in its favor. I also survived my foray into novels-in-verse, which is another point.

As you were.

#2 - The Death of Ivan Ilych by Leo Tolstoy (tr. Aylmer Maude) - 5/5 stars ('23 TBR)

Next on my list of "one of those Russian guys", this time the book that Ruby read for school that made her cry.

And...woof. Yeah, I definitely cried. Not an easy story to read, but I am glad I read it.

#3 - Paradise Lost by John Milton - 4/5 stars ('23 TBR)

Well. I read it. Goodness knows why, but just managing that was a struggle.

The descriptions were vivid, and once I'd adjusted to the style it was engaging. It's definitely not something I'm used to, though, so it was an exceedingly slow read. That said, I do think it was a perfect book to finish right before Christmas. It felt right.

#4 - Fullmetal Alchemist, vol. 1-3 by Hiromu Arakawa - 5/5 stars

Finally! Finally I have picked up this series! And I'm very glad I did. Needed something a little lighter after everything I've been reading lately.

As expected, it was delightful.

I chose to track reading with this series by the three-in-one omnibus volumes, given the relatively low page count per volume. I own the first three volumes as singles and just picked up a copy of four-through-six; the rest will have to come from the library, which will take some finagling.

#5 - The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis - 5/5 stars

Read this in one sitting to get to a round number of finished reads for 2023 and.... Wow. No thoughts. Lots of sticky tabs used. Just gonna...sit here for a bit.

Anyway.

2023 Reading Wrap-Up!

My goals for reading in 2023 included:

Read plenty of nonfiction: ok so I finished nine nonfic books, which narrowly beat out 2022's seven, but.... Yeah. We're gonna try this again next year. (I have at least two dozen on my reading tracker. I am nothing if not optimistic.)

Finish the Lord Peter Wimsey series: done and wowwwww

Get back into Discworld: I read the three Industrial Revolution books. So...not as much as I'd hoped to read but they were fun as ever! I plan to dive into the Witches subseries in 2024 and go from there.

Branch out into a few new genres: I generally didn't do so well with this one; gothic of any kind isn't for me. I will say I'm officially over general YA fantasy; I found a couple of MG books I enjoyed and will gladly recommend to the kids in my life.

General Stats:

Total Books read: 90 (84 last year)

Re-reads: 30 (including: all of the City Between series [10] in January; all but one of both Narnia [6] and the Fairyland Chronicles [4]; and all of Murderbot [6])

New Authors: 31 (24 last year)

Audiobooks: 62 (45 last year)

Nonfiction: 9 (7 last year)

DNF: 14 (19 last year)

Alphabet Book Titles: 26 out of 26!

2023 TBR:

Read: 19

DNF: 5

Didn’t Get To: 1 (currently reading this one)

My Top Five Anticipated 2023 Reads:

Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer - 4/5 stars

Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky - 4/5 stars

Gaudy Night by Dorothy L. Sayers - 5/5 stars

Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier - DNF @ 35%

Sea of Tranquility by Emily St John Mandel - 3/5 stars

Top Five New Reads of 2023:

84, Charing Cross Road by Helene Hanff

Anxious People by Fredrik Backman

Gaudy Night by Dorothy L. Sayers

North and South by Elizabeth Gaskell

Why Didn't They Ask Evans? by Agatha Christie

2024 Reading Plans:

Reading Goal: 100 books. Why not be obnoxious for once and actually set an unrealistic goal? (For the record, I had almost 100 books on my "potential 2024 reading list" back in September; I did my best to winnow it down but, with some carry-over from this year, it's currently at 88 books. Of those, 36 are hard-and-fast "to read in 2024" books.)

Get to some of the older residents of my TBR. There are some books that have been on my formal TBR for nearly a decade. I'm not even sure where a lot of them came from, but it's time to see if they're any good.

More nonfiction! Guys, I'm learning things! I feel like such an accomplished adult! Topics on the list for 2024 include cadavers, history and travel, murder, mythology, fungi, WWII hijinks, and pirates.

Another, less impromptu Alphabet of Book Titles challenge? In addition to the expected Q, X, Y, and Z, this year I struggled with R, F, and K for some reason? (I DNF'd three or four R titles and disliked the one I did finish.) I already have both a Q and a Z title sitting on my physical bookshelf at home and have a Y option picked out. X is still tripping me up (if I wasn't set on new titles I'd reread Xenocide). Since I'm that close already and I pulled it off in 2023, I'm tentatively going to try again.

Top Five Anticipated Reads of 2024

Agent Garbo: The Brilliant, Eccentric Secret Agent Who Tricked Hitler and Saved D-Day by Stephan Talty

The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern

Starship Troopers by Robert A. Heinlein

Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers by Mary Roach

A Wizard's Guide to Defensive Baking by T. Kingfisher

[densewentz]

just say I was the top listener spotify smh

[aeymii]

That one time he was sick

[meli-mouse]

takin dumb photos at a sleepover or something

[bilolli]

[crabplatinum]

my fave duo!! the beloved leader and his right hand short ass yapper scout :3 can u tell im absolutely exploding wanting to draw my pookies but struggling with the robots...

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I take back my former Luo Binghe design. Big Buff Binghe is too standard. It's expected. The sillier angle to take is: manifesting his small, needy dog energy into physical form.

[twilightcitysky]

Courtship

“Crowley, come in! I was just redecorating.”

“Really? You never redecorate. Last change you made was in 1860, when you had the plumbing installed.”

Aziraphale smiled at him. “After everything that happened, I started thinking things over,” he said tenderly. “We almost lost the bookshop, but here it is, good as new. We almost lost the world, and… and now that we didn’t, I want to make some changes. I think it’s time.”

Crowley frowned. “Here, have you got something in your eye? You keep blinking.”

Aziraphale stopped trying to flutter his eyelashes. “I’ve painted the back room,” he said eventually, in a more normal tone of voice. “Would you like to see?”

He headed towards the door without waiting for an answer and pushed it open. “What do you think?”

“Oh, um. Very nice. I might’ve gone with a warm gray, or maybe mother-of-pearl… but yellow’s good too.”

“I happen to like this particular shade of yellow,” Azirphale said, a trifle testily. “Very much.”

Crowley held up his hands. “Hey, it’s your bookshop. Are you ready for lunch?”

*

“What’s this?”

“They’re flowers. Roses, dahlias, and a few Peruvian lilies.”

"What do they do?"

Aziraphale, holding out the intricately beribboned, carefully wrapped and above all expensive display from the most exclusive florist in London, began to feel a bit awkward. "They… smell nice, I suppose? And they can brighten up a room."

Crowley peered over his glasses. "Sure, for a little while. But they're cut, see?" He touched the bottom of the bouquet, as if Aziraphale perhaps hadn't noticed. "They'll die in a week."

“I suppose. I thought you might–”

“Is this more redecorating? I can help with that, no problem. Listen, why don’t I get rid of these for you… and if you’re wanting something for the bookshop, we’ll get a nice rubber plant to put under the window.”

Aziraphale sighed.

*

“Oi, angel! Think you dropped something!” Crowley jogged to catch up with him and put the matte black box, which he’d left on the seat of the Bentley, back into his hands.

“Ah. Actually, you see… that was for you.” Aziraphale felt his cheeks heat. “In case you got peckish,” he added lamely.

“This fancy stuff? Men break into bedrooms at midnight to leave this kind of chocolate next to pillows. Saw it in an advert.”

Aziraphale brightened. “Would you like me to break into your bedroom?” he asked, a tad breathlessly.

Crowley laughed. “What for? Listen, why don’t you have these. You’ll appreciate ‘em more than I will.”

*

“Are you ready to go?” Crowley glanced at his watch.

“Just one more thing. I. Er. I-thought-you-could-wear-this,” Aziraphale said in a rush. “If you like.”

Crowley took the velvet box from his trembling hand.

He opened it. “It’s…”

“Yes?”

“It’s very sparkly.” Crowley held the ring up to the light.

“It’s a diamond,” Aziraphale said desperately. “A diamond ring.”

“Oh. And you’re givin’ it to me because…”

“I–” Aziraphale stopped. He searched Crowley’s face, looking for a flicker of understanding. “My dear, I would like–”

“Oh wait, let me guess. It’s for your magic act, right? Are you practicing palming again, or is this the sort of ring that squirts ink when you twist the jewel?” Crowley pulled curiously at a glittering stone the size of his thumbnail. “Happy to help if you need an assistant. Just no more bullet tricks, okay?”

Aziraphale stared at him. “Yes,” he replied dully. “My magic act. Yes. Exactly. I’m trying to make something appear.”

“Got it in one!” Crowley gave him a pleased grin. “I know you so well, angel.”

“I daresay you do.”

Aziraphale followed him out to the car. There’s nothing else for it, he thought. I’ll have to throw a cotillion ball.

[nwluxx]

Sasuke is in his "am I just a friend to you?" phase 😅 Naruto's sure to crack soon 👌

[qprpbj]

my outsiders musical hot take is steve being reduced to ensemble is kinda not at all that serious 🥸

[spaciebabie]

IN THE BACK OF MY MIND....HER LIPS.....ARE ALWAYS THERE

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

How I've seen most people write Rangi coming out to her mom:

Rangi: Mom, I have something to tell you.

Hei-Ran: Go on.

Rangi: Kyoshi and I.....are.....together.

Hei-Ran: Oh I'm so happy for you.

*they hug it out, much wholesome*

How I think the coming out scene went:

Rangi: Mother. I need to tell you something, Kyoshi and I are together.

Hei-Ran: Oh thank the spirits. It finally happened.

Rangi: ???? You knew????

Hei-Ran: Sweetie, everyone in the mansion-no, all of Yokoya knew about it! Well except for Kyoshi.

Rangi: ????!! WHAT?!

Hei-Ran: I'm pretty sure Jianzhu thought you were dating, that's probably why he kidnapped you, you know?

Rangi: WH-HOW?!

Hei-Ran: Oh please, we saw your gay little ass running all over the damn mansion just to be near Kyoshi and to impress her. We were mute, not blind and deaf!

Rangi, having a crisis: I-wha-but-

Hei-Ran: Well, you aren't very good at hiding your emotions sweetie.

Rangi, flipping a nearby table: The fuck you mean I'm not?????!

Hei-Ran: Oh curses, go get Atuat, I owe her $5.

Rangi: YOU BETTED ON THIS????? WITH YOUR DOCTOR?????

Hei-Ran: Well Kelsang is dead, so I had to keep our bet alive somehow.

Rangi: I-*inhales* YOu know what? Doesn't matter! Do you accept Kyoshi or not?

Hei-Ran: Anybody who gives my girl that much cardio is 100% welcome into our family. In fact, I already added her to our family registry 2 years ago. As far as the Fire Nation is concerned, you two have been married for a while.

[buboplague]

I've been on a small reading binge the last month, anyone have book recommendations? Any genre is fine, but preferably something a bit lighthearted, or easy/fun reads!

edit: oooo thank you guys!! I'll be checking out the ones I have library access to!

[spinecurlingmice]

losing it

[bucketsofmonsters]

The Witch's Apprentice - Part 6

cw: demon summoning, prolonged isolation, size difference, body horror, forced transformation, self-inflicted injuries, more tags will be added as the story continues

male demon x afab reader

Word count: 3k

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6  Part 7

He brought you back into your room. Where else would he bring you? Your soundproofed, locked room that you had no way out of. 

You weren’t any less stuck than you were before. 

That wasn’t going to stop you, couldn’t stop you. You needed to get out. You needed to see Eden. 

You knew any attempt to reach her was pointless. She couldn’t hear you. 

It didn’t stop your desperate attempt to get to her in any way possible. You pounded on the door, the noise of your fists against the thick wood echoing in your ears and never reaching hers. 

You're not entirely sure how long you pounded on that door. It was hard to focus on anything. You weren’t seeing the door, you were seeing Eden’s face and her saving you from those god-forsaken woods and then Lucien doubling over again, hearing how his words got frantic as he tried to warn you about something he just couldn’t say and you’d start hitting even harder. 

An earsplitting, pained scream sounded and it took a second to realize it came from you. You hadn’t meant to scream but what harm could it do? It wasn’t like anyone could hear you anyways. 

You kept pounding until massive, gentle hands wrapped around your wrists. 

You looked down to find Lucien holding your now bloodied hands. 

His grip was soft. You could have pulled away if you’d wanted to, kept on trying to fight your way through a solid block of wood. 

You let him stop you. 

As soon as he realized you were done he released your hands and with that you collapsed to the floor, letting your head fall against the door. 

“You tire yourself out yet?” Lucien asked, watching you from above.

You glared up at him as you sucked in air. 

“I need…” Your voice came out nasally and wet. “I need to understand. I need to see her.”

“This is a bad idea.” He sounded resigned, as if he knew nothing he said was going to matter. You had to do this. 

“Says the demon I talk to every day.”

“Don’t do that. Not now. Not after everything.”

“Sorry,” you said with a sniffle. “You weren’t a bad idea. I think summoning you might have been the only good idea I ever had.”

As you spoke you felt something being pushed under the door into your side. You looked down to see a plate of food. Your dinner. 

You shoved it back out. At least that was something Eden could see, somewhere productive your frustration could go. 

You heard a huff through the door and you knew she was projecting her voice through. “Fine, if you want to be that way.”

“Can I talk to you?” you called out, knowing it was never going to work. 

You didn’t know if she’d left yet but it didn't matter. She never lifts it on your end, never tries to hear you. 

A heavy sigh escaped Lucien as he stared at you with sad eyes.

“As long as you’re dead set on this, do you want to do something really stupid?”

You nodded instantly. At this point, you’d agree to just about anything. 

He held his hand out towards you and waited. 

You took a moment to gather yourself as best you could. There wasn’t much you could do at this point to stop looking like a mess but at the very least you could try to slow your breathing and blink some of the tears out of your eyes. 

When you reached out to take his hand, he gave it a gentle squeeze before you were feeling the same sensation you’d felt when he’d whisked you back to his home. This time you appeared a few steps away, right through the wall. 

Eden’s eyes widened in fear the second Lucien appeared in front of her. She hadn’t even noticed you yet, her eyes locked on his imposing figure. 

As she stumbled backward, reaching blindly for something behind her, her eyes fell to you and that fear turned to anger. 

“What did you do?” she hissed out. 

“What did I do? How about I’ll tell you that when you explain the runes that burnt their way into his skin when he tried to warn me about you.”

You watched all the blood drain from her face. “What has he told you?”

“He hasn’t told me anything,” you shouted. “He can’t, you’ve stopped him. So now you’re going to tell me.”

You felt Lucien’s presence behind you, his hand ghosting over your back as a faint reminder that you weren’t here alone. 

Eden stumbled back again, coming up against a table this time. As she did, she grabbed a handful of the rosemary you always made sure she had on hand and threw it at the both of you, murmuring something under her breath as she did. 

You could feel the empty space where he’d stood before as she banished him. 

There was a manic look in her eyes as you watched her strategize, planning out what she was about to say to you. 

“He’s tricked you,” she finally settled on. “You think he’s on your side but he isn’t.”

“I don’t believe you,” you said, and those words seemed to strike almost as much panic in her as seeing Lucien did. 

“You don’t understand. He’s the one who made the forest, he’s the reason you're trapped here at all. I saved you from that, don’t you remember?”

And then everything clicked into place. “Oh my god, you made him do it, didn’t you?”

She didn’t need to confirm it, you could see it written across her face, across the face that you knew so well. 

She floundered and you just watched in horror as your best friend unraveled in front of you. 

“No, no of course not,” she lied. “I wouldn’t do that to you. It would take a monster to do that to you.”

You remembered Lucien’s confusion when you told him you couldn’t leave the woods. “All this time you could have let me through.”

“I did let you through, don’t you see? I let you through to bring you here and I’ve kept you so safe.”

You fought not to glance towards the door, towards the woods. To not give anything away. You could make a break for it and from there, it was his woods. Maybe he could save you before Eden could command him to do anything else. 

“Lucien made it,” you said again and Eden nodded eagerly You knew exactly what she wanted. For you to blame him, to act as if this wasn’t entirely her doing. 

He could save you, you knew he could. You could run and summon him before his creation managed to swallow you whole. 

Tears pricked at Eden’s eyes but they never fell. She would never let them fall. “You will not leave me.” 

She said it the same way she commanded Lucien, with absolute authority

You weren’t falling for it anymore. 

Your cheeks felt wet again and you reached up to find you’d started crying once more without even realizing it. “I would have stayed. If you’d just asked me I would’ve stayed in a heartbeat.”

“Then why does it matter?”

“Why does it… What do you mean why does it matter? You imprisoned me and you lied to me and I trusted you.”

She scoffed. “You know what? I tried so hard to be out here on my own. I conquered so much, escaped every other weak person who was dragging me down. But something was missing, something I couldn’t run from. And then you showed up, all bright-eyed and grateful and you fixed it all. I was weak and I needed people, needed you. I need you. Is that what you want to hear?”

It fully settled that she meant every word. She needed you here, needed you to keep the sickening loneliness that you were intimately familiar with away. 

And never once did it occur to her to think about that feeling in you. 

Why would it? You weren’t a friend to her, a companion, a person. You were a tool to stave off an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of her gut. 

Before you could even process the fact that you were running towards the door you were falling. You hit the ground with a thud as Eden watched on from behind you, her shaking hands pointed in your direction. 

She muttered something under her breath and then you weren’t falling anymore. Instead, you were floating slowly but surely upwards. 

It took a few moments to realize that while you might be floating, your body wasn’t coming with you. It was lying below you, cold and so very far away. 

You looked dead. 

You felt dead. 

And then you were being made smaller. Matter was being summoned up where there was none before and you were being forced into a body that you don’t want to be in, one too small for you that felt far too fragile. 

You could feel bones and tendons forming, snapping into place as Eden held you aloft in front of her. 

Skin started to form over your new, unfamiliar frame and then something else. Were they feathers?

As unfamiliar flesh continued to crawl over the bones and muscles were conjured from nothing, you tried to fight, to move, to do anything in your new form. 

You managed to lift what looked like a half-formed wing and the numbness was replaced with searing pain. 

You felt like you’d been skinned and every feather that wormed its way out of you was like a needle through this new skin. 

Eden plucked you out of the air moments before you’d finished forming into this new shape. 

She held you in her hands and you’d never felt smaller. 

“It suits you,” she said as she looked down at you, the wings she’d forced upon you being pressed into your sides by her fingers. “You were always more of a pet than an apprentice anyways.”

Before you can so much as gather your bearings you were being forced inside a silver cage.  

Functioning inside the mind of a bird was impossibly difficult. You couldn’t hold onto thoughts anymore. The closest thing you had was the fear. That much the bird could understand. 

You did your best to make out what was happening outside your cage. It wasn’t that your vision was worse now, if anything it was better. It was like the things you were seeing were losing their context and gaining a new one. 

You saw Eden summon Lucien, saw them look down at your body as Eden said, “This is your fault.” You could see his breath catch in his chest, the way he doubled over on himself.

But you also saw predators, looming shapes that you wanted to get far away from. Their voices were too loud, you needed to leave. 

Then a voice sounded not from outside your new cage, but from somewhere inside of you. “You're not dead. I can feel you. Where are you?”

You heard the words perfectly fine, you just couldn’t process them. As soon as the next would come the word preceding it was lost to you. 

They were just sounds. Why were there sounds coming from inside your head? That’s not where they normally came from. 

A panicked attempt to fly away was thwarted by this small metal prison. You couldn’t go anywhere and there were sounds coming from inside you and the creatures in the room just kept getting louder and louder. 

The voice in your head wasn’t as loud as the creatures were, and yet you could hear it so much better. It spoke again and you could feel the voice trying to calm you. “...need you to summon me… can’t get to you…”

You could barely process the words before they left you behind. 

You caught a glimpse of your side. You were gray. You weren’t always gray. Were you? It seemed strange. 

You leaned back to straighten your feathers, preening restlessly as your mind told you to get away when you knew that you couldn’t. 

The panic felt familiar in a way you couldn’t place. You knew this panic. It wrapped around your throat and stole your air with a practiced familiarity. 

You were trapped. 

You remembered this. You understood being trapped. 

The sounds started making sense again, if only for a moment. Lucien and Eden were shouting at each other over your lifeless corpse and his voice sounded in your head, pleading with you. 

“Just summon me, I can’t get out on my own.”

But you couldn’t. You didn’t have long enough, didn’t have enough of yourself left. 

He’d known this would happen, had begged to take you away, for you not to do this. He had tried to save you, was still trying to, and you couldn’t get a hold of your own mind enough to help him do that. 

With your fleeting lucidity, you did the best that you could, praying it would be enough. You focused everything you had and with all your might sent him back one word. 

“Eden.”

It was difficult to parse what happened next. As far as you could tell,  it got very loud and everything moved very fast and then something exploded. 

You couldn’t tell where it came from. It was harder to place than the voices were. It felt like you’d exploded, like your insides had folded back apart just as quickly as they had formed but it just as easily it could have been the room around you, breaking apart as Lucien took revenge in both of your names. 

You probably wouldn’t make it out. You knew that much. You were stuck in an impossible body in an impossible situation in an impossible forest. You just hoped Lucien made it out, at the very least. That you did manage to free him. 

The next thing you knew you were lying in a strange bed in a strange room with Lucien looming nervously over you. 

You flexed your hand, your own hand, without so much as a single feather. It felt like a miracle. 

The first words you sputtered out were, “Eden… is she…”

You didn’t need to finish the question. 

He looked down at you, seeming like he was trying to figure out what answer you wanted. “She’s alive. I’d rather she wasn’t but I figured it should be up to you as much as it is me. Besides, I have her name now, she can’t make me do anything ever again. So I owe you one.”

“You don’t owe me anything,” you said, a coughing fit overtaking you after you forced the words out. A gray feather escaped your mouth and you almost threw up at the sight. 

He graciously didn't mention it. “I really do.”

You shook your head but you didn’t have the energy to argue with him right now. 

As you did, you took in the room around you. It was somewhere foreign, the walls of the room a dull gray with beat-up wooden furniture scattered about the room. 

“Where am I?” you asked as you tried to peek out the window that sat behind Lucien without straining yourself too hard. 

“An inn. I would’ve taken you back to hell with me but after everything you’ve been through I figured you’d appreciate being clear-headed. And besides, it’s easier to leave this way, in case you want me gone.”

You furrowed your brow. “Why would I want you gone?”

“I’m the reason you’ve been stuck in your own personal hell for years, you literally have nightmares about something I did to you.”

You shook your head again. “No, that’s not right. She made you do it, didn’t she?”

He shrugged. “Doesn’t change what happened to you.”

You rolled your eyes. “You pouting about it won’t change anything either. You’re not going anywhere, understood?”

He nodded as a faint smile graced his face. “Understood. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go pay for the room. I sort of just poofed us into the nearest inn I could remember as soon as I got a hold of you. You’ll be alright on your own?”

You wouldn’t be. How could you possibly be alright after all of this, after everything you knew had been ripped out from under you? 

You nodded. 

He took you at your word, stepping out the door with a final look in your direction. He closed the door softly behind him as if he was worried if it made too loud of a noise you’d spook. 

You collapsed back into the bed, letting your exhaustion take over you. 

As you fell into a fitful sleep, you couldn’t help but wonder what sort of nightmares you’d have now.

[sskk-manifesto]

It's very important for me that you know that in the manga Higuchi doesn't stop before reaching Akutagawa's face and instead downright scrubs the napking on his cheek. The panel of Akutagawa's eyes with his cheek clumsily squished is at the top of my favourite Akutagawa pictures as well as one of the most adorable things ever in general