#I am feeling so much emotion at the same time

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

So I'm putting together an In Defence of Cassie PowerPoint for a PowerPoint night with friends. Do you have any arguments for or against her? I trust your opinion and am curious.

Let's see.

"She's too powerful, too unique, too far-seeing, and not good enough for Jake! What a Mary Sue!"

Counterpoint: May I introduce you to the reigning champion fan favorite, Sad White Boy Tobias?

Only nothlit ever to regain the ability to morph

Only known human-andalite hybrid ever to exist

Regarded as savior by entire hork-bajir species

Entire existence is a time paradox the war hinges upon

Pulls the canonically "most beautiful girl in our grade", who turns down 6 or 7 other offers in favor of Bird Boy

Correctly predicted planetary ecology 65 million years in advance

Believed to be immune to 2-hour limit

In conclusion: y'all wouldn't be crying "Mary Sue" if Cassie was a sad white boy, and I can prove it.

"She's too weak and hand-wringing, and she never helps the war effort!"

Counterpoint: First of all, the fact that the same people say this in the same breath as "she's too powerful" is... telling. Secondly:

She saved the entire team's lives in #24, in #29, in #44, and in MM1, among others.

Specifically calling out #44 — that ending shows she is willing and able to be ruthless when her friends are in need. She doesn't like slaughtering human-controllers, but if the alternative is everyone she loves dying, then she'll fucking well do it.

Much like Jake (see: Sad White Boy), she's more willing to risk herself than her friends, hence the end of MM1

Her medical knowledge saves Marco from rabies, Ax from brain!appendicitis, and Tobias from bird flu.

Her survivalist knowledge saves everyone in #25 (the Arctic), MM2 (Cretaceous Era), #11 (rainforest), and #14 (desert).

In conclusion: Cassie's only idealistic-looking by the standards of this extremely morally gray team.

"She's so unfair to Jake!"

Counterpoint: Jake? The Jake who refused to speak with her for weeks? Jake who proposes marriage while they're still broken up? Jake who announces he'll never trust Cassie again because she [checks notes] saved his brother's life? That Jake?

Also:

She gives him tons of emotional support in #16, #21, #47, and other times he's feeling low.

They have a healthy argument where they air differences and come to an understanding in #9.

Did I mention he doesn't just dump her but ghosts her in the middle of the war's endgame?

They're teenagers. Their relationship isn't perfect, but it is built on open communication and mutual respect which is more than Rachel and Tobias can say

She's fighting a war, and PTSD for that matter. No, she doesn't have infinite emotional bandwidth.

In conclusion: Their relationship is fine, their breakup is mutual, and her behavior only looks bad if, once again, you're holding Cassie to a different standard than you are Jake.

"She shouldn't have trusted Aftran!"

Counterpoint: friendly reminder that the alternative was killing a 6-year-old for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. If that's what you think Cassie should've done, that tells us more about you than about her.

"She spends too much time moralizing!"

Counterpoint: this is a book series about war, not a friggin' video game. If you want moral pornography, go play Call of Duty. If you want sci fi realism, then you're going to have to accept that a majority of humans prefer not to kill their fellow humans if at all possible.

"She's a ripoff of [insert character here]!"

Counterpoint: literally every single one of these says more about the commenter than about the source work. "Every dystopia is set in the U.S." is the kind of thing only people who only read books by American authors would think. "All epic fantasy is Eurocentric" => tell me you only read books by white people without telling me. I'm glad you think Cassie is too similar to Willow Rosenberg, but there are at least 6 other stories in the known world, and I hear some of them even feature sweet/dorky/caring characters who are secretly ultra-powerful.

In conclusion: You don't have to like Cassie as a (fictional) person, but 85% of criticisms directed at her are bad-faith attacks on one of the 1990s' only fat Black female gnc ultra-powerful superheroes.

[whereispearlescentmoon]

Listen I love Martyn’s watcher lore and his narratives as much as the next guy but there’s two instances of his lore straight up failing that I find extremely funny, and that you would would only really know if you’ve watched these two povs. Again, cannot emphasize enough, I love Martyn’s lore and he can do whatever he wants and it’s fun when other creators play into it (Jimmy being the best example) but it’s also very funny when they just don’t.

The first example is when he created that little story that actually Tilly was evil and corrupting Pearl into becoming Scarlet/Red/5 AM Pearl. This of course failed because he had no way of knowing that Tilly had already died when he went to fight Pearl in the finale, as only the owner of a wolf sees their death message. Also, the fandom at large rejected it because from Pearl’s POV, Tilly is her soulmate and her best friend, and is absolutely not evil.

The second is that Gem has her own Life Series lore, which again is only in her POV, that goes directly against his. Gem’s lore, which exists through her Empires and Hermitcraft series as well, is that she remembers literally everything and is willingly traveling across worlds to do things. So the whole “people are made to play the games and also don’t have emotions tied to the previous ones” doesn’t apply to her because she is just willingly participating and still feels exactly the same. Hence her intense beef with Pearl in Wild Life because she remembers Secret Life and the emotions connected to it. You could try to fit this into Martyn’s lore by making her a watcher or a listener, but it’s funnier to me if she’s just a special exception.

Honorable mention to ZombieCleo, Smajor, and Pearl who have also disproven the whole “no emotional ties to previous games” thing multiple times by being deeply emotional towards each other and towards other players about things that have happened in previous games. Cleo literally still felt bitter at Impulse for 3rd Life at the beginning of Wild Life and that’s beautiful.

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Gale Poorly Explains: Epic The musical

Troy saga

Odysseus: We are going to reverse piñata these bitches. Then I’m going home to my wife and son.

(Proceeds to kick ass)

Odysseus: (gets a vision) What in Hades was that?

Zeus: need you to stab something.

Odysseus: Cool

(Breaks into a nursery)

Odysseus: You want me to kill this baby?!

Zeus: Yep! He will grow up and kill your family if you don’t. Good luck with your mental health after this.

Odysseus: (sings about being a guy before dropping the baby out the window)

Odysseus: I may have some PTSD

Eurylochus: I’m going to be a Massive pain later btw, I’m hungry.

Odysseus: Stealth mission on the island. Polites you’re with me.

Polites: I’m just covered in death flags.

(Later)

Polites: you should be more receptive

Odysseus: Maybe you’re right… but not with these guys.

(Athena appears)

Athena: Bitch did I just catch you feeling things again? You’re a warrior of the mind.

Odysseus: Yes I remember the flashback.

(Go to cave to get food)

Cyclops Saga

Polyphemus: why you invading my cave and killing my sheep?!

Odysseus: S*** man. Our bad. The name is nobody. Have some wine as an apology.

Polyphemus:(chugs it) Thanks… now I kill you.

(Polyphemus proceeds to go clubbing)

Polites: Oh no my death flags… (gets killed)

Eurylochus: So we killing that cyclops?

Odysseus: No… we are blinding him, stealing his sheep and then I’m doxxing myself.

Athena: What the f***?! I am leaving. You are too emotional.

Odysseus: This is why you have no friends!

Athena:… F*** you… you man! (Leaves)

(A storm approaches)

Storm Saga

Odysseus: probably unrelated to the cyclops but oh look! Sky islands!

Eurylochus: Captain… I think maybe we should NOT mess with the gods anymore.

Odysseus: Eurylochus, I get your concern… but don’t undermine me again.

Aeolus: Yo, I put the storm in this bag. You should be good. Just don’t have anyone open it.

Odysseus: No worries. I completely trust my crew and they wouldn’t be mutinous enough to disobey my order

(The crew proceeds to prove him wrong)

Poseidon: Oh look, it’s Odysseus of Ithaca. The guy who blinded my son.

Odysseus:… F***! The storm was related.

Poseidon: Killing your fleet.

Odysseus: Because I DIDNT kill your son?

Poseidon: Yep! Ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves

(Wipes out fleet)

Odysseus: Seriously? What the f***!?

Poseidon: Your turn now

Odysseus: Lol nope! (Opens wind bag to release rest of the storm.

(Lands on Circe’s island)

Circe Saga

Eurylochus: Captain… I need to tell you

Odysseus: Eury… not now. Go scout or something.

(Eurylochus leaves then comes back)

Eurylochus: Men are pigs.

Odysseus: That’s a rude thing to say sure they have some crass

Eurylochus: No. A witch turned them into pigs.

Odysseus: oh… well damn.

Hermes: Hey Odysseus, want to fight Circe?

Odysseus: Ballin.

(Proceeds to go fight Circe, nearly wins)

Circe: How about I let you tap this ass (secretly holding knife)

Odysseus: Look, you are hot. But I have a wife who I’m an unapologetic simp for.

Circe: Damn, I can’t kill you. But I will send you to the underworld.

Odysseus: Wait… isn’t that the same thing?

(So Odysseus and his crew are restored and sent to the underworld.)

Underworld Saga

Odysseus: Sure is Undertale Genocide route up in here.

Polites: Catch phrase.

Anticlea: Dying… Odysseus I’m your mother and I died waiting.

Odysseus: I am going to need so much therapy later.

Tiresias: Vague Spoilers! Also your wife with a man who is a total monster

Odysseus: WHOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tiresias: Good luck bitch. (Leaves)

Odysseus: Maybe I need to be a monster

(They leave the underworld)

Thunder saga

Syren: Odysseus, it’s me your wife. You should jump in the water

Odysseus: But Penelope… I’m just a sexy little baby.

Syren: please?

Odysseus: Okay, but only if you tell me how to get to Ithaca by avoiding Poseidon.

Syren: (gives directions) now jump in

Odysseus: (goes from UwU to 🔪🔪🔪)

Odysseus: BTW we captured your friends.

Syren: WTF

Odysseus: Sashimi time

(Slaughters them)

Odysseus: To the lair of Scylla

Eurylochus: Hey Captain… I need to tell you something…

Odysseus: Eurylochus have the crew light up 6 torches

Eurylochus: I opened the wind bag!

Odysseus: … Make sure you’re holding one of the torches.

Scylla: Oh boy free eats.

(Eats 6 people)

Eurylochus: Did you just sacrifice 6 of our friends?!

Odysseus: You are litterally the LAST person who gets to judge.

(Mutiny occurs)

Eurylochus: I’m hungry. Oh look cows.

Odysseus: You idiot don’t touch the cows. They are the sun god’s!

(The cow was killed)

Zeus: So I heard you like killing cattle. Great news I love flexing on mortals.

Odysseus: Damn it Eurylochus…

Zeus: Alright Odysseus, you get to choose. You or your crew.

Odysseus: Me. I miss my wife.

Eurylochus: Seriously?

Odysseus: You Litterally caused a mutiny a few hours ago. You guys ain’t s***

Zeus: Welp. Time to Bolt

(Kills everyone but Odysseus)

Wisdom Saga

(8 year time skip)

Telemachus: Yo what up everyone. I’m the lovable son of Odysseus. He’s been missing for a while and now we got an infestation of Simps.

Antinous: You brat, where’s your hot mom?

Telemachus: Stop objectifying my mom.

Antinous: What you gonna do about it champ?

(Proceeds to get in a fist fight)

Telemachus: I could really use some help?

Athena: Did somebody need help?

Telemachus: A Friend?!

Athena: Uppercut that bitch.

(Telemachus proceeds to lose but did put up a decent fight)

Telemachus: You are my best friend now.

Athena: I would bury myself for you.

Telemachus: So you mentioned another friend of yours. You should go help him too.

Athena: Yea… I should. I wonder what he’s been up to

(Sees everything he’s been up to including getting captured by calypso)

Calypso: I’m a hot goddess. How are you not begging me to bone?

Odysseus: I miss my wife.

(Is borderline suicidal)

Athena: Crap… it’s worse than I thought.

Zeus: Wait… you want us to intervene on behalf of a mortal? We are gods. We don’t do that

Athena: That is Litterally ALL you do. And usually disguised as animals so you can…

Zeus: (changing subject) Okay okay! Let’s make it a game. Convince these gods to release him and me. Then I’ll release him.

Apollo: He killed the Syrens. I liked their songs.

Athena: They started it, and now the other Syrens will be more careful

Apollo: Fair point. Release him.

Hephaestus: He sacrificed his crew.

Athena: They betrayed him first, and if he is freed he will Rebuild his life.

Hephaestus: Okay fair, Release him.

Aphrodite: His mother died waiting for him.

Athena: The War was your f***ing fault!

Ares: Nice try. (Buts in)

Athena: Ares you cheapshotting bastard.

Area: He mocked the cyclops but didn’t kill him, used cowardly tactics. He’s pathetic and weak like his son!

Athena: (rage mode activated) HOLD YOUR TONGUE! Don’t insult my boy!

(Kicks ares ass)

Athena: Odysseus will slaughter all the suitors, and tell your whore of a girlfriend broken hearts can mend.

Ares and Aphrodite: Release him.

Hera: Give me one good reason.

Athena: He’s never cheated in his wife.

Hera: (glares at Zeus) Release him immediately.

Athena: I won your game.

Zeus: Ah but you forget… I’m a petty bitch! (Strikes her with lightning)

Athena: (badly hurt) Please… release him.

(And it’s implied he did)

Vengence Saga

Calypso: I’m not sorry for loving you.

Odysseus: You kept me here against my will for 8 years. Whatever emotions I feel towards you are Stockholm syndrome at best. Later.

(Hermes appears)

Hermes: Ready for one last ride?

Odysseus: Bring it!

(Proceeds to have a dance number with Hermes and get passed Charybdis)

Odysseus: I’m finally home.

Poseidon: Bitch you thought.

Odysseus: No, I am not dealing with this today.

Poseidon: Get in the water!

Odysseus: 600 Strike!

(Cue anime fight)

Poseidon: You may have won by some miracle… but now that storm blocks your way home. Sucks to be you.

Odysseus: No… sucks to be you.

(Odysseus proceeds to penetrate Poseidon with his trident until the god begs for mercy)

Poseidon: How will you sleep at night.

Odysseus: Next to my wife. On a mattress from Mattressfirm! Save 100 dollars on your next purchase with the code f***youposeidon.

(Now at Ithaca)

Ithaca saga

Penelope: Welp, I’ve stalled as long as I could with the Loom. Time to use the bow stall challenge.

The suitors: It’s impossible! No one could string this bow.

Penelope: Skill issue, call me when someone does.

(Hours later)

Antinous: F*** this! Let’s just go kill her son and then open her bedroom door and [Redacted)

(Gets killed by arrow)

Odysseus: I’m killing all of you now.

Suitors: We need to get weapons:

Telemachus: I’m back, and you guys should just surrender now.

Suitors: Are you nuts, your father will kill us anyway. (Proceeds to attack son.

Odysseus: Oh I’m going to kill you guys even harder now.

(Brutally kills all the suitors)

Telemachus: Daddy?

Odysseus: Son?

(Cue hug)

Odysseus: I’m so proud of you. Now go tell your mother I’m home. I’ll be there in a moment.

Telemachus: I will. (Heads off to tell mom)

Odysseus: So Athena, you gonna say hi or…

Athena: You may have been right about being merciful.

Odysseus: Nah, you were right. And btw, I’m gonna retire from this warrior business. I only want to see my wife. I’m too old for this s***

(Prepares to see wife)

Penelope: Is that you my love?

Odysseus: I changed a Lot over the years… I’m not the same. But could you fall in love with me again maybe?

Penelope: I see… move our wedding bed then.

Odysseus: WTF that is Rooted to the ground. I made that bed with my hands! How can you ask that.

Penelope: Only my husband knew that. So you are him!

Odysseus: Oh…

Penelope: I will fall in love with you every single time. No matter where or when.

Odysseus: (crying) Penelope!

Penelope: Now get your ass over here! I’ve waited 20 years for you and momma has needs.

[insertshimselfwhere]

I'm sooooo angry guys

I mean, I have mixed feelings, I am so so so happy for Nic but at the same time happiness is not complete because Luke deserved EVERYTHING!

The work he did with Colin deserves recognition from at least a nomination. They are very unfair and it breaks my heart because he is an incredible actor and also and amazing guy and deserves to know that his efforts are recognized (not only by us who clearly love him and admire all his work)

I am so sad. Honestly. He deserves more

I need him to know that he deserves more

I need to fill the nominations post with comments about why he's not included. I'm going to freak out at any moment and hate them on their shitty nomination post. Ha

I'm so happy for Nic, she deserves it so much and I'm so PISSED for Luke guys.

I want to see the world burn because they don't recognize anything from this babyboy😭

I mean, look at him🥹

I have NEVER in my life seen someone act out so many emotions with just their face. I'm serious, every rewatch I do of S3 I discover a new expression of him and they all make me emotional in different ways. This boy made me cry like no character ever managed to do before and that is 100% MERIT TO LUKE

As you can see I'm very angry

Am I going to calm down? Of course not

Bye

[mari-lair]

hello ! i love your fics and analysis! I was wondering which tbhk ships you think will become endgame?

Anon I have the most white bread of answers but since you asked-

1 - Hananene.

Nene starts the manga by wanting a date. It doesn't matter with who, any hot guy will do. She has many infatuations but isn't in love with anyone, she just want to be loved.

Nene has a lot of small character developments in different areas throughout the manga, but her strongest and most consistent change is her increasing love for Hanako and her acceptance of it.

She is still a girl with a ton of emotions, and she finds hot people attractive BUT now she want Hanako and only Hanako. She rejects everyone she used to have a crush on, there is no doki doki's when she gets the attention of pretty people cause they aren't the boys she wants attention from anymore.

Even Teru doesn't compare to Hanako. She went on a 'date' with him and felt more excited about bragging than the actual 'date'

AND SHE DID NOT BRAG when hanako got back, she just wanted to enjoy that he's back.

I don't even know why I am going so in dept on the couple stablished since chapter 1 but since i'm already rambling: Despite everything crazy going on in the festival NENE'S BIGGEST FOCUS WAS TO CONFESS TO HANAKO. That's something she thinks more about than her own death, like girl- Hanako is her whole world. She will not get a romance with another person.

There is the question of "Will Nene survive?"

If she doesn't, she'll disappear and have no boyfriend but I bet she'll be thinking about Hanako in her death. If she finds a way to become a supernatural in a very wild narrative choice she will be able to stay with hanako in their cursed eternity forever.

In the case she lives and Hanako gets exorcised she won't move on. Aidairo loves tragedies and obsessive love, so I can't see her approaching crushes with the same whimsy after her love dies. And Aidairo would likely preffer to make her suffer in her grief and longing than give her a rebound with some random guy, cause it sure won't be Kou.

2 - Mitsukou

My personal preferences aside, it is clear they are written to have romantic implications. Kou will either die with Mitsuba (As shown in the new timeline), and stay with him in death.

Or live to have an intense homoerotic 'friendship' with him.

He legit can't get mitsuba off his head, he thinks about him more than anything during the manga and he has A LOT of problems to think about.

I can't personally picture an explicit confession but we had a lot of equivalents already. It would be weird for Aidairo to send them to the aquarium, make Kou obsessed with mitsuba (and vise verse), show that they are 'very very close' in this new timeline, keep drawing them star-struck by each other and so on without romance in the head.

Kou is also never able to put his feelings into words, like, bro that's suspicious as hell.

They always get matching art with all the couples in Aidairo's twitter arts too.

That's not queerbaiting, they may not be explicit but by the lord they are not subtle at all, there is never a single "oh Mitsuba is like a brother to me" moment, they don't undo any of the gay implications we see, they double down on it.

Kou may be bi but it sure isn't the Nene route that Aidairo is playing.

3 - Aoikane

Akane has loved Aoi since he was a little kid. Waaaaaaay before he got a clock keeper contract.

He saw that Aoi cared so much about his opinion that she'd break out of her cold persona and burst into tears at the idea of being hated, and he locked in for life.

They are the codependent childhood friends troupe, the "I know you better than anyone" troupe, the "you are a part of my life I can't live without" troupe and they both love each other from the very start of the manga, not showing romantic interest in anyone else.

Nothing has made Akane change his mind about being with Aoi. Not being stabbed, not being rejected many times, not facing how bad aoi is at deling with her issues head on. He'll do anything for her time and time again.

in Akane's own words:

They had many build ups and a whole arc dedicated to their developments with each other (which is a lot considering they aren't main characters and Aoi usually get no focus in this manga.)

Narratively, it wouldn't make any sense to dedicate so many chapters pointing out how much they mean to each other and slowly working through their issues only to slap another ship at the end.

And is not like Aidairo said "They had their arc let's never talk about them again!", the author went out of her way to say "Even in a world where Aoi is in an arranged marriage, she still loves Akane"

They aren't subtle.

From the matching names, to the way they both crumble when they are separated from one another and keep thinking about marriage, they are very devoted. They have already explicitly confessed to the audience that they are in love with each other.

They'll either stay together forever or they'll die together.

[zshiftsrealties]

HOW I APPROACH SHIFTING/MANIFESTING AS A RELIGIOUS PERSON

this post was inspired by @st4rg1rl-1nterlude's blog.

I haven't put any personal information about myself out here yet, so this is going to be the first time I do anything of the like. I am a Muslim, and why I didn't really make a post like this before, is because I didn't find anyone who was also a Muslim and active in this community (or so I thought). only yesterday did I find out that there actually ARE other Muslims out here, and so I thought that maybe, if I share my pov on shifting/manifesting, it could help out someone else too. that's the intention behind this post.

just a quick note before I start, I am absolutely not bashing anyone for what they believe, and how they perceive shifting/manifesting/anything else. this is just my view that I wanted to share with other Muslims. and for people who follow me, and may believe differently than me; this is absolutely a safe place, and I totally respect each of your respective views.

there's going to be religious references (ayahs, etc), so if you're uncomfortable/uninterested, you can stop reading here.

okay now onto the topic.

• how I approach shifting?

as Muslims, we know that our bodies are not ours, and have instead been trusted onto us by Allah. we are the soul, not the body. and the body is only given to us so we can experience the 3D world. right?

that's exactly how I approach shifting too. since I am not the body, but the soul (or pure consciousness), i'm not bound to it. and souls, do not have any identity attached to them. and since we are souls, then — ultimately, everything that is true for the soul is true for us too. meaning we also do not have any identity attached to us. we aren't defined by gender, race or anything as such. we are just energy (soul). that's all. and energy doesn't feel happiness, sadness — any emotion, as humans do. not claiming that souls don't feel anything at all, but they're more at peace — taken separately — as compared to the vessel.

now onto the topic of "shifting is haram", so, personally — no. not to me. "haram" refers to something that will inevitably hurt you, or put you in harm's way (whether physically, or emotionally). that's the only reason why Allah has made many things haram. but shifting is literally just being aware of another you out there. it's like switching from one channel to another. and before you ask "but if we do something that's haram there, will we get sin for it?", so also, no. because in this moment, there are a billion yous in different universes, that are maybe commiting crimes, arson, whatnot. will your scale be filled with all of that? no. your scale is only going to be filled with what you do HERE. in this body. the body that you were first put in. what your soul — which is just you — does here. also your soul doesn't shift, your awareness does. (keep in mind, this is my view, and you're not liable to taking my word for anything).

now,

• how I approach manifesting?

manifesting is much more simpler. it's like making a dua, and knowing you'll get an answer 100% because of who you're asking. it's literally the EXACT same.

the only things you have to be mindful of is your self-concept, and your concept of who Allah is. if you absolutely believe that Allah can do anything for you, but you don't think you deserve it, then you'll probably not get it. why? because ultimately, your view of self will be reflected in your belief in Allah. if you think "I asked Allah for a car, but I don't think I'll get it because I don't deserve it" then even though you did ask, you won't get it, because you think you're not worthy of getting an answer back from Allah.

similarly, if your self-concept is absolutely perfect, but your view of Allah is, "he won't give it to me" or "Muslims don't get what they want in this life" or "everything comes after struggling", then do you see what you're doing here? assuming, and your assumptions always come true. also, your belief in you — or anything for that matter — cannot ever be more than your belief in Allah. so you won't get what you want, again.

why? see this.

"Allah the Exalted said, `I am as My servant thinks of Me.'" — Hadith 15, 40 Hadith Qudsi.

how you view Allah is exactly how you'll see Him be with you. so only think good of Allah, that is exactly what He is worthy of.

"Allah intends for you ease and does not intend for you hardship," — Surah Al-Baqarah, verse 185.

so, when Allah intends ease for you, you don't have to struggle to finally have what you want. Allah doesn't take any enjoyment in making you wait. He does not. so when making dua/manifesting, think beforehand about your view of your Creator.

you're not selfish for wanting the world and the akhirah. you can have both. your Lord will give you both. so, in your relation with your Lord, keep a good view on both you and Allah. that's how everything will work out.

and I know there are many posts and views that state that "you are the creator" or "you are the God" and "there's no higher being", and honestly, that's just their view, and it's valid, for them.

but for us, Muslims (or anyone who believes in God), we know that God takes care of everything 24/7.

"Not a leaf falls but that He knows it” — Surah Al-An'am, verse 59.

so, if even something so mundane is controlled by Him, it's almost absurd to read the notion that "we are the creator", much less believe it, right? and you don't have to. because you know your Creator will never ever leave you without giving you something that He has set your heart upon. so you don't have to control anything in the first place. just say what you want, tell Him and believe you'll get it, and without a doubt, you will.

incase that I skipped over anything, or if you have any questions, anything — feel free to ask.

[milli-moi]

Honestly, I have other thoughts on a few of your reads here on Agatha’s reasoning for wanting to make Wanda believe she is evil. At first I thought I disagreed but I don’t think I do, I think I more want to open the door (pun not initially intended - and then very intended) to other aspects of this pain.

I have a different perspective and honestly when I rewatched Wandavision after watching AAA I really felt seen.

I will never be a parent, it’s something I’ve wanted my whole life but in recent years my partner and I have come to accept that we don’t think we would be able to be the parents what we would want to be and that a child deserves due to our combination of disabilities.

This hurts like hell. I was somewhat numb to it for a year or two but then last year we learned that a friend who we used to be very close to and who had been told she might never have children, was pregnant. This destroyed me in a way I hadn’t expected it to and it continues to destroy me in a lot of ways. One of the things I hate most is an unbelievable jealousy.

I am not a jealous person- yes I’ve had moments but generally I am happy for people. The jealousy I have every time I see this friend’s family and other friends share photos of them spending time with the baby my thoughts are unreasonable.

Through this, watching another person you know (or relate to in Agatha’s case) live the life you wanted, you craved, and have it come to them so easily when you have suffered so much pain to not even have the outcome you needed, I felt a huge connection to Agatha.

I have not lost a child, no, but I have lost the possibility of being a parent and although it isn’t the same pain it is incredibly intense and hard to live with.

Agatha needs Wanda to be the bad guy, needs her to suffer because Wanda got the things she wanted, and if there was such a thing as deserving a happy ending then Agatha doesn’t see why her and Wanda deserved different things. They both had traumatic childhoods, they both turned to darkness to cope -Wanda to Hydra, Agatha to killing witches and dark magic - but Wanda, in a way, was rewarded for that. Wanda got adopted by the avengers, she got a new home, a purpose, a chance to be loved.

Agatha got her chance to be loved for the first time by Death. How cruel and ironic and filled with metaphor about unloved children is that? And even then, in a life of around 360 years, Agatha maybe got 50 years of happiness before it all fell apart.

Wanda experienced loss, but she was supported and comforted and then on top of that she got her children, her ‘spontaneous creation of life’ - just like she had with Rio, except Wanda’s boys got to live.

Agatha hates Wanda in a few ways, feels so much warmth towards her in others, but I think a lot of the hate, the anger is a case of ‘why do you get to be happy?’

On bad days, days when I’m really heavily reminded of my own life situation, without going into too many details I can say that I have wanted to say this to so many people. I think it’s a valid response when you have had disabilities, illnesses and conditions, mental health and your own sexuality hold you back so often.

When you look at the happy family your friend has and it makes you feel sick because you feel so many emotions, and in ways you never thought you were even capable of.

WANDAVISION DEEP DIVE part 3

(Wandavision entries: part [1][2][3])

(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][+1] ep5 [1][2][3][4][5] ep6 [1][2][3] ep7 [1][2][3][4][5][6] ep8 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9] ep9 [1][2][3][4][5][6])

We left Agatha killing her coven in a flashback (but sparing their children). Back to present Agatha, and what is she doing? Pretending to talk to her rabbit. Look, she might be a dedicated con artist, but she can only come up with very cheesy characters, what can you do?

Is she meeting the real you, Agatha, are you sure?

oh she's so intrigued

She's about to be very very cruel, and there's a lot to unpack here. To her torture is a mean to an end, but there's also rage, jealousy, bitterness, so much bitterness there. She hates witches, and she hates Wanda. She also can't help sympathizing with Wanda, the parallels between the two of them are obvious. There are always so many contradicting emotions in Agatha.

Like, the way she's been teaching her about magic. She's taunting her, she's showing off. But once upon a time she was a clueless young witch denied knowledge from her elders. And now that Wanda is in that position, she could teach her. She almost wants to. She is curious, she loves learning, finding out how things work, and in other, better universes she is a teacher.

*angrily shakes a bird at Wanda*

LOOK WHO'S TALKING, OH MY GOD. But honestly though, that's why she can't help sympathizing. They are the same.

And she is a biiiiiit in lust too tbh. Not her fault she has a high libido. Agatha is having a DAY.

A good rule of thumb is, the more Agatha jokes, the more she's uncomfortable with a situation, the fact that she's making fun of a little boy tells you right away that she doesn't mean it. Sarcasm is her defense skill. She was barely able to contain her rage a moment ago, she is not as calm as she appears. And she doesn't like having to sit through Wanda's trauma one bit, both because she's sorry for Wanda and because she doesn't want to witness that pain herself. She had hoped to crack Wanda without having to do this, but she won't step down now, she won't relent.

that's a whole lesbian, dear god. thank you costume and hair departments and thank you kathryn hahn.

my theory is that detective Agnes of Westview was clearly created by Agatha herself rather than Wanda and speaks about her grim personality and eagerness to solve mysteries, but we'll get to that later

that's interesting, she smiles at Wanda, looks worried at the door for a second, then smiles at Wanda again. play acting or real concern? Wanda wasn't looking at her face in that moment.

her body language is something between intrigued and defensive

NOT THIS BITCH DRYING HER EYES AGAIN AT THE "WHAT IS GRIEF BUT LOVE PERSEVERING" SPEECH.

You know what though, for Agatha to know exactly what buttons to push to break Wanda, she'd need to have a deep understanding of how trauma and grief work. Which means she knows the way she blames Rio and hangs up on Nicky's memory is not healthy, but she is unwilling or unable to make an effort towards healing. Not that you can ever completely heal from something like that tbh, but she knows the way she's acting is making things worse.

The slow clap, she's such a cheesy villain. That (gay) way she sits though, she wants both to project strength and to shield her body, she is nervous. She's now 100% sure that Wanda is the Scarlet Witch. Time for her last gamble.

Knowing Agatha as we know her now, it's easy to see she's wearing her best witchy costume to put on the ultimate show. She made Wanda cry to get at her secrets, now it's time to make her angry. She could just have provoked her in the first place, but like I said she's at her core a coward detective and scholar and yearns to learn stuff. I really do believe that Billy and Tommy weren't in any actual danger here and it looks worse than it is. On the other hand, she is absolutely scaring them shitless, but like with Sparky she chooses to ignore their mental well-being if it gets her what she wants. She's not physically hurting them so that's fine, right? And, well, she did the same with Nicky. She loved him so desperately and also selfishly kept him isolated and kept killing in his name. There's a reason why she feels so guilty and can't face him now.

The parallels, tho. The episode starting with Evanora calling her a monster, and ending with her calling Wanda a monster.

Last episode!!!!

telling the kids to take cover as soon as she can get away with it. Wanted to hurt them my ass.

Pathetic! Are you even a real witch? Yep, her usual bit. And especially harsh too. Agatha is gambling a LOT here.

"The Scarlet Witch is not born, she is forged. She has no power, no need for incantation." Agatha was forged the same way, with pain and hellfire, does that give her a claim to Wanda's magic? (Also, power of mother earth on the poster behind? How very green witch!)

How hard and deliberately Agatha is working to traumatize Wanda even further, to make her believe she's a monster. And Agatha is in such an unique position to understand what Wanda is going through, what it means to be called evil for something you are and not for something you do. She knows what it means not being able to control your powers, Wanda never meant to hurt any of these people! She could teach her, offer her community and support. But what does Agatha do instead? Exactly what her mother did to her.

She wants to kill her to take her powers, and she wants to kill her because she's afraid of her. And yet she's also looking in a mirror. Doesn't her neck thingy look like a clergy collar too? She's on the other side of inquisition now.

have you ever read Passing by Nella Larsen? it made me think a lot about how marginalized communities isolate their most vulnerable members and recreate the dynamics of the oppressor, as a way to keep some form of control and also to express their trauma and anger. Wanda didn't do anything to Agatha, but she's the perfect target for Agatha to vent all her pain and anger and frustration.

Wanda tries to copy Agatha and make her relive her traumas, not a good idea trying to manipulate the master manipulator. Agatha has studied and observed and knows a lot about Wanda and that is why her manipulation is so effective, Wanda doesn't know Agatha at all, she's only heard lies so far. Here for example she assumes that Agatha killed the Salemites on purpose, she has no clue that their situations are so similar.

I told you that witches wouldn't accept you, that they would call you a monster and come after you. So much bitterness. That's Agatha's tragedy, and that is what's behind all her selfishness, killing witches, keeping Nicky isolated, torturing Wanda. Passing her trauma along. As much as she chose to be what she currently is... choosing the opposite would have been much easier if she had a community cherishing and teaching her. Just look at how much having an actual loving coven, even for a short time, will make a difference in the future.

and then Wanda wins not because she's more powerful but because Agatha couldn't stop herself from blabbing and showing off and teaching about runes. oh, the irony

what WANDA'S done???? Agatha, you've been poking a nexus being with a stick for days, you useless fuckup (affectionate)

lmaooo she fell ass up

LOOK WHO'S TALKING

Agatha under the spell immediately flirting with Wanda is maybe top five most hilarious things she's ever done

and that's a wrap! Ballad of the witches road here I come!

go to AAA part 1

[n0tamused]

How elves deal or even feel jealous? What/how easy is to make them jealous?

A/n: Hello, yes I can! You didn't specify which elves you wanted this for, so I just picked a few of the ones I thought would go nicely with this idea. Also, I am trying these different styles of hcs, so let me know if you prefer lenghtier headcanons or shorter ones like these? I'm trying to find some balance with requests and my ability to write them in time.

Contents: (all separate) Thranduil, Legolas, Lindir, Haldir, Glorfindel x GN! Reader. Jealousy hcs, not proof read lol

⋆𓄃Thranduil

-Thranduil can be quite jealous and, more so, protective over his beloved and he does not care to ever admit it. He is quite avoidant of his subjects and feels a bit shocked (or looks like it, he did expect you to point it out eventually tbh) when you point it out to him

-Would make sliding comments about your attention lingering too long on someone, or even something at times. 

-A play of words is sure to ensue if you keep pressing him for his reasons, and throughout he never raises his voice or anything of that sort, he is rather calm and eventually you come to understand that he is enjoying this, both the banter and the attention. This can be sometimes flustering or frustrating when he begins to smirk and offer sass and teasing words. 

-The Elven king has seldom ever expected to ‘fall into’ love like this, or to behave like this while loving someone, but even through his long years of living he is still learning some things. 

-Thranduil is quite wary of others, especially outsiders even if they are his distant kin. So he may keep you away from meetings or tedious dinners with any delegates or visitors that may seem like ‘too much’ for you to be exposed to them.

-He is stubborn, so chances are it would take a long time for him to let up on his views, as he deems it all necessary for your protection and happiness

-But even he cannot deny that he does carry a great weight on his heart and consciousness, and long, late night conversions are not something rare with him. He enjoys them more than anything else because he feels more justified to be vulnerable when the rest of the world falls asleep. He is more open to physical touch as well, and he tells you his worries and his feelings clearly then. 

🍃Legolas

-The prince of Mirkwood is still quite green in the area of emotions and how one deals with them, despite his years. But he is notably much softer in comparison to his father. 

-He would find it odd that he feels this way and would hide it away from you for the longest time until he can bear it no longer. It is like poison to him

-Although you would be able to see it all happening and coming down on him with the way he stares out at nothing, sometimes at the people besides you, the way his lips pull into a deep carved frown and how his jaw sets, almost uncomfortably, even for an elf - especially for an elf. His shoulders are so tense you can put a table on him

-Once he expresses his feelings to you he does apologize as well, he doesn’t want you thinking that he doesn’t trust you or that he believes you’d go behind his back and take the offer of another heart - he truly can’t explain the feelings and where they stem from.

-It’s multiple things all at once - he wants you safe and happy, and the people around may not have the purest intentions, but at the same time he feels odd that you sometimes seem to be having much more fun with someone else than him. So there’s quite a lot to unpack with him, but he is not impatient or unwilling to learn.

♬Lindir

-Lindir is more prone to fits of jealousy that strike seemingly out of nowhere, he is quite dense with it too although not nearly as secretive as he would like himself to be. He may be quiet, but the face he stays quiet with is a completely different story..

-His jealousy does stem from a sense of insecurity in his own ability to be a good partner for you, it eats away at him at times and he can take up to saying witty responses to the individual/s that he perceives as sources of his feelings. He is never malicious of course, neither to you or them, as he understand these feelings can quickly turn to poison

-He may require some more support from you at times like these, and in private he feels utterly defeated in face of his own jealousy. He is not the one to openly ask for attention from you, but at times like these he may ask you questions that may reassure him again. Hold his face in your hands and just kiss the elf, that would be my advice, plainly delivered 

-He would grow flustered at such actions, and he may even give you some sass for it, but he is never refusing your advances at pouring some more of your love on him 

°˖➴Haldir

-The Marchwarden of Lorien is not the most open when it comes to his own emotions and it can be difficult to read his exact trail of thoughts at times. But jealousy is not foreign to Haldir, he knows how it feels and he has long since come to truly dislike(hate) it.

-It is unbecoming of his station and just of his own character in general. Nonetheless, this jealousy he feels holds its roots in worry for your safety rather than any kind of distrust of you, and it's greatly amplified by the distance between the two of you when he is away on duty. 

-Haldir doesn’t act out on his jealousy, although he makes his opinion known if he agrees or disagrees with you on your choice of companions. If he is at home with you, he would also tag along with you, if you so desired or if he just really, really did not like the company you’re going to be with. He knows nearly everyone in Lorien, and so he knows who to be wary of. That is not to say anyone from there would be a liability when it comes to physical harm, he knows that much is less likely to happen, but when it comes to needs that are more from within, love, need for attention - then he is not so sure. He cannot read the minds of others, and everyone changes over time, even elves. 

-His jealousy does lessen up when he is with you, as he is not as worried when he has you in his eye. If there is danger, Haldir would do whatever was in his power to eradicate the source of it. 

-You may notice this particular mood on him by the stiffness of his jaw and the hard look he sometimes directs at no one in general, as if holding an internal monologue with himself over what he’s experiencing and feeling

☼Glorfindel

-The Slayer of Balrogs is not susceptible to jealousy, and he was never a jealous individual to begin with. And that’s also without mentioning that he trusts his partner as well, otherwise he would not be with someone he did not trust.

-After his re-embodiment he may come off as a little clingy - he stays with you for as long as he can, not letting any moment go to waste, even if you are an immortal being as he is. He leaves kisses on your hands and your forehead when no one is around to see, it is intimate and he simply wants you to know that you will always have his love and support

-He is also very clear in his communication with you, and trusts that you’ll tell him if anything is bothering you, although sometimes he does know to postpone telling you something if he believes it could put a strain on you. 

-He is quite free spirited though and open minded at that, just a chill guy, the chillest on this list I dare say

-All in all.. 10/10, would recommend 

Ⓒ n0tamused. Do not repost, translate, edit, and/or copy any of my works. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.

[littlemissmentallyunstable]

write more aaron warner you're amazing 🫶

took me long enough but omgggg I got this req done!! thank you so much for you compliment and your request!! I hope you enjoy 🤍🤍 and in all seriousness i am really grateful for your patience with these requests, I realise that it’s taken me far too long to get around to doing them!!

title: you’re not him

pairing: aaron warner x reader

synopsis: something’s off with aaron but he won’t tell you what…

warnings:

a/n: thank you so much for reading 🤍🤍

taglist: @wish-i-were-heather @midiosaamor @fleuriosa @maybxlle @whatsamongus @elysianwayy77 @lovethornes @emelia07 @inmyheaddd @sweetreveriee @azysmate @anintellectualintellectual @off-to-the-r4ces @hermesenthusiast

By the time I’d gotten out of the shower, Aaron still wasn’t out of his office. He’d been there for hours, hunched over the same piece of paper. A little worried, I go to check on him, walking in to find him sitting there, so upright it look like a type of victorian punishment, pen down, staring out into the distance. My footsteps echo down the walkway but he doesn’t move an inch.

“Aaron, love,” I murmur gently, my voice a tender, steady hum over the soft silence.

He doesn’t respond and just stares forwards, lost in a hypnosis of his own thoughts. I’ve seen him like this before and I know it’s not a good thing.

“Aaron,” I say again, a little louder and slightly more urgent.

“Hmmm,” he hums in response not even meeting my eye.

The worry in the pit of my stomach only blossoms like a cherry tree in the springtime, with coiling, twisting branches of anxiety, flowering the most delicate petals of panic.

I chew the inside on my cheek, “what’s wrong?” I dare to ask.

“Nothing,” he replies, his voice distant like he wasn’t quite in the room with me.

“Aaron,” I whisper, sliding my hands up his back slowly with the gentlest fingers, only to stop at his shoulders to massage the tension knots out.

“Yes love,” he says to me, avoiding my gaze even though I know he can feel it burning a hole in the back of his skull.

“Talk to me,” I urge him in barely a whisper.

He shakes away my touch and my hands fall slack to my sides, weighted with rejection.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” he sighs, standing up, his back to me.

I inhale deeply. I don’t want to get emotional because usually I’m not, but something about this cold, distant manor struck something in my chest.

“Aaron please,” I say, stepping in front of him, placing one hand on his chest. There’s a rawness to my voice that makes my throat ache, “you have to stop shutting me out, I thought we got past this.”

“You should go and rest,” he murmurs finally meeting my eyes, as he puts his hands on my rounded belly.

I understand now why he refused to look at me for so long. His eyes speak words he has no control over. Deep in the green lies all his pain. Whatever is going through his mind isn’t pleasant.

Still, my specification to address the matter is still being turned down. He’s completely avoiding the subject matter, as if the words never left my lips. He used to be like this all the time, closing me off, locking himself away, drowning in his own issues, refusing to even touch the lifeline bobbing on the surface for him to hold onto.

Aaron had always been stubborn, he didn’t want help. He’d rather stay silent and carry his own burden, rather torment himself into an unhealthy state than ask. Good damage, he used to call it. But once, it got too much and he finally let me in and he made a promise. He promised he wouldn’t go back to way he was. Not with me.

I fold my arms and pin my eyes to his, “I won’t rest until you tell me what’s wrong.”

An ultimatum. I need his attention.

“I promise, love, I’m perfectly happy,” he lies, with a forged smile, “I have you and our beautiful, beautiful child that you’re carrying, what more could I want?”

It’s not the lie that hurts, it’s not even how easily he managed it. It’s the fact he feels he has to lie to me, to hide from me.

“I can feel it when you’re not right you know,” I whisper, touching my heart, “in here.”

He looks at me, his emerald eyes burn. For a moment his expression softens, he breathes a little. He’s less chief commander and more the Aaron I know. The kind man, with soft eyes, gentle hands and sweet lips. The man who would burn the world for me or stand by my side as I burnt it. My Aaron. Then something shifts, a bitter frost comes in and sends an icy sheet all over.

“I need to shower,” he says quickly, “get some sleep, love, you look tired.”

I could’ve stayed there and argued. I wanted to, but he turned away too fast predicting my next move. I run my fingertips over my bump and sigh. He’s right, I am tired. I just hate it when he wasn’t okay, in fact I can’t bear it. It’s as if someone iswas torturing me, burning me alive, scraping my skin off a centimetre at a time, plucking my eyeballs out.

I walk to our bedroom slowly, pushing down my annoyance in the helplessness I feel. If he doesn’t talk, I can’t read his mind, I can’t know his problem, I can’t help. I get into bed, slipping under the covers but not laying down quite yet.

I listen for the shower running but don’t hear a sound, only the soft sloshing of bath water. Aaron bathes when he is stressed, so this only confirmed further that something was playing on his mind.

I try to wrack my fogged mind for what it could be. His work in rebuilding our government had been extensive and stressful but he had never caved under that sort of pressure before. He usually thrived under it. This was something else, I am almost sure of it. But what else? Is it something I’ve done? As far as couples go, I’d always thought we’d handled problems well but maybe he did have a problem with me, maybe I’d done something wrong…

I’m suddenly aware of the bathroom door opening, interrupting my train of thought, as its light shines into the bedroom. Aaron walks in and I can tell he’s caught off guard with the fact that I’m awake. Something between alarm and shock splashes through his eyes for a fraction of a second as he approaches. His eyebrows slowly draw inwards, pinching together in concern.

“You’re still awake, love?” he asks me.

I hum in reply.

“Why do you feel guilty?” Aaron says suddenly, going very still.

I sometimes forget he can feel what I feel, “have I done something?” I reply, “is that why you’re acting off?”

His face breaks into a sad sort of smile, “no, not you, never you.”

I rest my head back on the headboard, fighting with droopy eyelids to keep myself awake. I don’t push him any further, as long as it wasn’t my doing, I would wait for him to be ready to tell me.

He slips into the bed beside me and holds my cheek in one hand, his thumb gently brushing just under my eyes. I melt into his touch, the exhaustion getting stronger and stronger by the second.

“Oh love,” he murmurs, his voice so tender it makes my hearts ache.

I smile tiredly letting the weight of my head fall into his palm.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispers, his eyes pinned to me roaming over my every feature as if it were the most mesmerising sight he’d ever seen, “so so beautiful.”

“Hold me,” I mumble into his warm skin, craving his touch, to be in his arms.

“Of course,” he says, enveloping his arms around me and tucking me into his chest, hiding me away from the rest of the world.

I breathe him in, the warmth of his skin on mine, our hearts thumping to the same beat. I nuzzle into the crook of his neck, my face buried in his skin. I feel myself grow heavier, less alert as I match my breathing to his.

“Do you want to lay down?” he whispers, probably noticing how my limbs growing heavy.

I hesitate for a moment.

“I won’t let go,” he says, reading my mind, “I promise, I only suggested it because it might make it easier for you to sleep that way.”

I don’t want to sleep, not really. There’s still a part of me that wants to know what’s wrong but my body can only fight the exhaustion for so long. Still, I am committed to stay awake just a little longer.

We lay down together, his arms still around me. I’m cocooned in his body. His hand meet at the bottom of my swollen belly, holding my bump with the utmost care, as if it were the most delicate thing on this universe. His chest is pressed firmly against my back, warm and protective as his legs intertwine themselves with mine. I can feel his slow and steady breathing on the back of my neck, tickling me slightly. The silence between us is heavy and makes my ears ache for sound but I couldn’t think of the right thing to say.

“I’m sorry,” he says, a little strained, in a low voice as if the noise was coming from the back of his throat.

Confusions washes a tidal wave over me, “what are you apologising for?”

I don’t get a response for a long while. I almost think he’s fallen asleep, after his breathing slows. His heart beat a little faster than usual against my back, my only indication that he’s working himself up to admit something. Something that makes him nervous to say out loud. I wait, giving him the time to form the words and the courage to say them.

“I find it hard to talk,” he begins slowly. I can hear each syllable is a struggle for him to say.

“I know,” I murmur, bringing his hands to my lips. I kiss them both gently to silently tell him that I am here to listen when he is ready. He doesn’t have to tell me tonight, or tomorrow night, or even the night after. However long he needed, I would wait for. He understands what I’m saying without me having to even say the words. And still he chooses to whisper seven words into my ear.

“I don’t want to let you down.”

It takes me by surprise. Aaron Warner is not a man to doubt himself, least of all doubt himself and blatantly admit it.

“Aaron what are you talking about?” I ask, rolling over so our noses touch, “you could never let me down.”

“No,” he murmurs shakily, something between pain and fear clouding over his emerald eyes, “listen love, I don’t want to mess things up.”

“Mess what up?” I say softly, my brows pinched with a gentle confusion, “tell me, explain to me.”

“I…” he falters, “…can’t.”

I take my palms to his face and hold him.

“I have seen every part of you,” I tell him, “your worst and your very best, I’m no stranger to the bad parts, so let me help you, let me in, please Aaron.”

Silence hangs in the empty space, never tiring of the wait, never growing impatient.

“I’m scared, love,” he responds finally, his voice so small I barely register it when he speaks, “I’m so so scared.”

“Scared?”

The question slips my lips before my brain has a chance to suppress it. I hadn’t meant to be so blunt. Aaron had never once, in our whole relationship, before and after marriage admitted that sentence aloud. Even when he’d looked the most petrified, physically shaking, a deathly pale, he didn’t say it.

So why now?

“I’m not going to do this right,” he continues, his words sharp and frantic, “I’m not going to be a good enough father, I’m going to ruin this child like my father ruined me, I wasn’t taught how to be a good father, I don’t know what I’m doing and I’m going to mess everything up.”

My heart shatters on the spot. It splits into a million tiny shards that hit the inner walls of my chest like shrapnel.

“Oh Aaron,” I melt, “you don’t need to be taught anything, you’re already the best man I’ve ever met, you’re not ruined at all. And you will be a good father no matter who your father was.”

“What if I become him?” he asks me, his eyes wild with panic, “worse than him?”

I wish in that moment that I’d been the one to kill his father. I would’ve made it the most excruciating experience on this planet. He would’ve been sorry before he went six feet under because no man deserves this torture, especially not Aaron. How dare the monster that called himself a father haunt his soul from the grave. It’s not right. It’s not fair.

“You won’t,” I tell him, “I know it.”

“You can’t be sure of something like that,” he replies, shaking his head, doubting all he is, all he’s accomplished, all his goodness.

I only wish he could see himself the way I see him. Maybe then he might understand.

“But I am,” I say, my voice more raw, more passionate. I know he can feel my emotions, I know he can feel the strong belief I have in him, the love that overpowers my senses. “Look at me Aaron, I know you and you are the furthest thing from the person that man was. You are going to be amazing at this and this baby is going to be so lucky and so so loved.”

He stares at me.

“I’ve never been more in love with you than I am right now,” he murmurs into my lips, kissing me slowly, passionately, longingly.

“And I don’t think I’ve ever been more in love with you than I am right now,” I reply as he draws soft circles with him thumb on my stomach.

“Thank you,” he whispers, “thank you. I don’t deserve you.”

“Don’t thank me for telling you the truth,” I reply, “and for the record you deserve every inch of me.”

“Sleep, love,” Aaron tells me gently, holding me tenderly in his arms, with a small smile on his lips, “and I’ll be here when you wake up, always.”

So I stop fighting my tired eyes and finally gave in, letting the night take me as her child, as I fall asleep in Aaron’s arms.

sorry for the lack of fics 😭😭 school has literally taken it out of me this week anywayysss thanks for reading!!

shatter me masterlist

[xoxorealitygalore]

Trust and Believe VI

summary: Keyshia and Joe had a seemingly perfect life together after marrying in 2010. However, as their careers grew, so did the strain on their relationship. When Joe cheats on Keyshia. The emotional fallout from the incident leaves their relationship hanging in the balance, with Keyshia questioning if they could ever recover from the betrayal.

The restaurant’s warm lighting flickered softly across the table, casting gentle shadows on the gleaming silverware. The air was thick with the murmur of distant conversations, the clink of glasses, and the scent of rich food filling the space. It was a scene that should have felt comforting—inviting, even romantic.

But for Keyshia and Joe, sitting across from each other for the first time in months, the ambiance only seemed to amplify the distance between them.

They had agreed to take this step. A date night, an opportunity to reconnect, to move past the wreckage left in the wake of Joe’s infidelity. After a few days of therapy and countless late-night conversations about their relationship, they were here—together again in the same space, attempting to rebuild what had been broken. But beneath the surface, the emotions simmered—complicated, unspoken, unresolved.

Keyshia stirred her glass, the ice cubes clinking together. She wasn’t sure how she felt about the evening. Was this truly a fresh start, or was it just a pause before the inevitable storm of confrontation that had been brewing for months? Her gaze flickered to Joe across the table, his dark eyes hopeful but guarded. He smiled softly, but the warmth in his expression didn’t quite reach her. She could see that he wanted this—wanted her to be happy, to forgive him—but the wall between them felt insurmountable.

“Keyshia,” Joe said, his voice low and tentative. He shifted slightly in his seat, trying to meet her eyes. “I really want tonight to be a good night for us. I know it’s been hard, but I’m trying. I really am.”

The sincerity in his voice stung. It wasn’t that Keyshia didn’t believe him; it was that she couldn’t understand why it had to come to this. Why did they have to go through so much pain to get here? Why had he cheated? The question, the answer—or lack of it—was an anchor, pulling her deeper into the sea of her emotions, making it hard to breathe. Every time she looked at him, all she could see was the betrayal. She could still feel the sharp edge of that memory cutting through her every time she closed her eyes.

“I know you’re trying,” Keyshia said, her voice tight, her fingers tracing the rim of her glass. She wanted to say more—wanted to say everything that had been on her mind, everything she’d kept locked inside for months. But the words were tangled, a mess of anger, confusion, and hurt that she didn’t know how to untangle. She looked at Joe again, the man she had once loved so completely, the man who had shattered that love with one careless mistake. “But I don’t get it. I don’t understand why you did it.”

The words hung in the air, heavy and unresolved. Joe’s expression faltered for a moment, the weight of her question pressing down on him. His hands gripped the edge of the table as if he were bracing himself for what was to come. He had heard this question before in their therapy sessions, had answered it a hundred different ways, but the truth was that he still didn’t have a clear answer. No matter how many times he tried to explain, no matter how many ways he tried to make it make sense, it never did.

“I’ve told you before,” Joe began, his voice shaking with the vulnerability he rarely allowed himself to show. “It wasn’t about you. It wasn’t because of anything you did, or didn’t do. It wasn’t about us. It was a moment of weakness. A mistake. A stupid, selfish mistake.” He ran a hand through his hair, his expression a mixture of regret and frustration. “I can’t undo it. I wish I could. I wish I could give you the answer you need to make sense of it. But I can’t. All I can do is apologize and hope that’s enough for you to find a way to forgive me.”

Keyshia’s throat tightened. She wanted to believe him—she really did. She wanted to feel the sincerity in his words, to let go of the anger that had kept her from him for so long. But it was hard. Too hard. His explanation, though heartfelt, still felt hollow, like a puzzle with too many missing pieces. She had poured herself into their relationship, given him everything, and yet it wasn’t enough to prevent the betrayal. How could she reconcile that? How could she let go of the hurt when she didn’t understand the reasons behind his actions?

“Joe, I don’t need you to fix it. I need to understand,” Keyshia said, her voice barely above a whisper. The tears welled in her eyes, but she blinked them back fiercely. “I’ve tried, Joe. I’ve tried to move on. I’ve tried to forgive. But I can’t. Not if I don’t know why. I need to know why you hurt me.”

Joe’s face softened, a look of pain crossing his features. He wanted so desperately to take the hurt away, to fix everything, to put their relationship back together. But he knew that wasn’t possible. Not yet. “I don’t know if there’s a reason,” he admitted, his voice cracking. “I don’t know why it happened. I don’t know why I was weak. But I do know that I regret it. I regret it more than you’ll ever know.”

For a moment, there was silence between them—heavy, suffocating silence. Keyshia felt as though the room were closing in on her, as though the very air were pressing against her chest, making it harder to breathe. She couldn’t shake the feeling that the distance between them was growing, not shrinking. The emotional wall that had gone up between them after the affair felt higher than ever, and no amount of words, no amount of explanations, seemed to be able to break it down.

“I don’t know if I can forgive you, Joe,” Keyshia whispered, her voice raw. “I want to. God knows I want to. But I can’t just forget what you did. I can’t just move on like it never happened. And I don’t understand why you did it. I don’t understand how you could.”

Joe’s heart broke at her words. He reached out across the table, his hand trembling slightly as he placed it over hers. “I never meant to hurt you,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “I never meant to lose you. Please understand that. I don’t know how to make it right. But I want to. I’ll do whatever it takes.”

Keyshia pulled her hand back, feeling the rawness of the moment more acutely than she had in weeks. She wanted to believe him—wanted to let the warmth of his apology soothe the ache inside her. But it was hard. Harder than she ever thought it would be. She couldn’t just erase the betrayal, couldn’t just move on as if nothing had happened. The wound was still too fresh, and every time she tried to let go, she was reminded of the pain he had caused her.

“I don’t know if we can ever be the same, Joe,” she said softly, her voice trembling. She looked at him, really looked at him, seeing the man who had once been her everything, and the man who had broken her heart. “I don’t know if I can trust you again.”

Joe’s face fell, the realization that their relationship might never return to what it once was hitting him with full force. “I understand,” he said, his voice quiet. “I understand if you can’t. But I’m asking for a chance. A chance to prove to you that I’m not that person anymore. That I can be the man you deserve.”

Keyshia felt a tear slip down her cheek, and she quickly wiped it away. The emotions were overwhelming, a storm inside her that she couldn’t control. She didn’t know what the future held for them. She didn’t know if they could ever find their way back to each other. All she knew was that, in this moment, she was torn between the man she once loved and the man who had hurt her in ways she couldn’t fully comprehend.

The rest of their date was spent in a kind of uncomfortable silence, the conversation faltering and stilted. They both wanted things to be different—wanted this night to be a sign of progress, a fresh start—but the weight of the past hung over them like a dark cloud that couldn’t be dispersed. Every attempt at small talk felt forced, every laugh too hollow. No matter how much they wanted it to work, no matter how hard they tried, the pieces didn’t fit. Not yet.

Their first date night in months, meant to be a moment of reconnection, ended up a bittersweet reminder of how far they had fallen. The hope for healing was there, buried beneath the layers of hurt and confusion, but it would take time—more time than either of them had anticipated. They both knew this wasn’t the end of their story. But whether or not they could truly rebuild what had been broken was uncertain. All they could do was try—and hope that, one day, understanding would come.

But for now, the silence between them spoke volumes, and Keyshia’s heart was still too full of unanswered questions to fully embrace the future.

Keyshia Anoa’i and Roman Reigns Caught Arguing at Dinner: What’s Going On?

Keyshia Anoa’i and Roman Reigns might be used to being in the spotlight for their impressive careers, but this time, it was a tense dinner date in Tampa that had everyone talking.

Eyewitnesses say the couple’s evening out looked anything but romantic, as they were spotted in what appeared to be a heated conversation throughout their meal. According to those who were there, the intensity of their exchange was evident, leaving onlookers guessing whether things were more than just a disagreement over the food they ordered.

While the details of their argument remain unclear, it's no secret that the couple has been navigating some tough times. Just a few months ago, Keyshia was arrested after an altercation with a woman whom she allegedly found with Roman, an incident that has cast a shadow over the couple’s relationship. Although neither Keyshia nor Roman has publicly addressed the situation, Keyshia was recently ordered to pay $100,000 to the woman involved, after she failed to show up for a court hearing in a lawsuit related to the incident.

As one insider put it, "Keyshia did not look happy at all" during the dinner, fueling speculation that there are still unresolved tensions between the two. Despite this, the couple has remained together since 2004 and share seven children. While the nature of their dinner argument is unclear, it’s evident they’re working through some very public challenges.

Could this dinner mark a turning point in their relationship? Only time will tell. For now, the couple’s fans are left hoping they can weather this storm just like they have with so many others over the years.

[syndrossi]

I am so, so sorry to bother you, but I am so far behind on the different Aus, and I was wondering what the story for Jaehaerys "Jon" Royce and Laena is? Again, I'm very sorry to bother you.

Also, not to sound weird, but I wanted to say that I've been following Resonant since Chapter 1, and it's awesome to see how much traction and praise it's gotten since then because I know it got hate in the beginning simply because of you using Rhaegar's character, but your writing is wonderful and you're genuinely just a really nice author to interact with.

Aww, thank you! I will say that most of the very occasional hate I've received is just trolls trolling, easy to delete/ignore, while the vast majority of people who aren't into the premise click the back button like actual adults. Ironically, it came more after Resonant started becoming popular. Early on, I think only people who were actually on board to try a Jon + Rhaegar + Daemon adventure signed on.

The Rhaegar stuff is mainly directed at poor Rhaegar himself for daring to grieve or feel emotions.

That particular AU you're asking about we've taken to calling the vet!Jon AU, and the basic premise is that 14-year-old Jon and Rhaegar are summerhalled into the twins, but 19-year-old Jon was separately summerhalled as Rhea's and Daemon's legitimate firstborn child, who mysteriously disappeared (or died, haven't nailed down his backstory) when he was a baby. Given his age, he would have likely been a consummation baby, like the twins in Regnal. He was actually kidnapped by Volantis, and raised there, with a dragon egg of his own hatching for him.

Once older!Jon wakes up, he smashes through the brainwashing, overhears the plot to kidnap his twins brothers from the Vale, and busts out on his dragon to rescue them. Things happen a little differently with the twins, since it's 14-year-old Jon rather than his Lord Commander incarnation, so they don't send the letter in time. Daemon has no clue about the twins OR his firstborn son being alive, until Jon has rescued the twins from the warlock + Crayne and crashes in on him in the Stepstones, giving Daemon a heart attack by riding bareback.

Everyone assumes that Rhea, who dies the same, intentionally hid the twins because she feared something happening to them, aka that they were trueborn and hers. Still treason, but slightly more sympathetic in the eyes of the realm.

Laena, meanwhile, having no luck with a very frazzled Daemon after she's freed from her betrothal, hits it off with Jon and they decide to marry.

It's one of the wilder premises, but it's a fun one! You can read the much longer/in-depth ideation of it here.

[leonastarry]

{ 6 } Special. ✧. ┊ s.jinwoo x fem!reader

Jinwoo loves you so much.

From childhood sweethearts, now the two of you have become husband and wife. It's been a long process, but it's truly precious.

✧˖*°࿐

Jinwoo met you when we were both 4 years old. At that time, your family had just moved to Seoul and rented an apartment near his. Your mother took you to his house to get to know the neighbors. You were small and shy, hiding behind your mother's legs. He found you very cute. His mother patted his shoulder and told him to go out with you, he nodded and approached you.

"Hello, I'm Sung Jinwoo."

"[N-Name].."

✧˖*°࿐

The first time he realized he loved you was when he was 17 years old. His teenage years were not a beautiful time. He was bullied and teased because he was weak. Until one day, you ran up to him and protected him from those bullies, he felt his heart flutter. The image of you standing in front of him, against the sunlight, made you seem to have a halo. The way you stood firmly and resolutely made him surprised and admired.

"Jinwoo, don't worry, I will protect you!"

✧˖*°࿐

When Jinwoo became a hunter, hardships piled up, you were the one who was always by his side and supported him. Even though he was a weak E-rank hunter, you always showed him that he was also very strong, and you admired him very much. When he became an S-rank, you were the shoulder for him to lean on when he was tired, when he felt his heart needed to be comforted and his mind needed to rest.

You would hug him tightly, stroke his hair, draw circles on his back. You would kiss his forehead, the corners of his eyes, his hair lovingly. And the two of you would just lie on the bed and enjoy each other's warm embrace, everything outside the world just being ignored.

"I love you so much."

✧˖*°࿐

When he used the reincarnation cup, after 27 years of fighting, the first person he looked for after returning was you. He hugged you tightly and buried his face in your hair, inhaling your sweet scent, the scent he missed so much. He would let you scold him for leaving for 2 years, but he would just look at you and smile.

'It's great that I'm back, it's great that I can see you again, [Name]'

✧˖*°࿐

Jinwoo proposed to you when he was 27. That day, the two of you had a wonderful summer date. In the morning, he woke up together, cooked breakfast for you, and went shopping together. In the afternoon, he and you went to the cinema together, you were engrossed in watching the movie, he looked at you. In the evening, the two of you had a delicious dinner at a fancy restaurant, then he took you to see fireworks.

In the moment when the dots of light flew up and shone brightly in the dark sky, he looked at you and said.

"You know, for me, family love is the most sacred love. And you, who have been with me all these years, I also want to share that same sacred love."

He took a red velvet box from his pocket and knelt down.

"[Name], you are the love, the light of my life. I am forever grateful to have you by my side. So I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

He opened the ring box.

"Will you allow me to be family with you?"

✧˖*°࿐

When he saw you in your pure white wedding dress, he couldn't help but feel emotional. He felt his eyes well up with tears. After all these years, the day had finally come when he could call you his wife, and he would be the only man for you.

He held your hand tightly.

"I stand here today, before you, our family, and our friends, with a heart full of love and faith. I promise to always be your faithful companion, your loving partner through all the joys and challenges. I promise to respect, listen, and support you on every journey we will take together. I promise to love you for the rest of my life."

✧˖*°࿐

And then the two of you had your first son, a clone of Jinwoo. And five years later, you and Jinwoo welcomed another little princess. The whole family lived happily together. A complete family, you, your husband, your two beloved children, and Jinwoo's shadow soldiers, you couldn't ask for anything more.

Jinwoo and you went, time passed, wrinkles appeared on you and Jinwoo. But the love you two had for each other did not fade.

On your 15th wedding anniversary, standing on Kaisel's back, Jinwoo gave you a sparkling necklace. He put it around your neck and leaned down to press his lips against yours for a long time.

"Wife, you go home first, I still have things to do."

"Will you come back for me?"

"Always."

My back hurts 😥😥.

School really ruined me 😭😭

[callmemonster68]

JAKE - So Wrong and So Right ( smut )

Where Jake and Y/N live in an intense and provocative forbidden passion, where desire, pain, and surrender collide. So wrong to be together, but so right to fuck.

Pairing: Jake  X FemReader

Genre: Smut / Romance Dark

Warning: smut, destructive love, dark passion, pain and pleasure, , obsession, submission, toxic relationship, sexual innuendo, explicit sexual content, obscenity, vulgar language, smoking, emotional manipulation, toxic relationships, overstimulation, power dynamics, intense themes of desire, pain, suggestive, penetration, sadomasochism , masochism,explicit language, climax, sex

Note: I'm recently starting to write, and English is not my native language. I apologize for any mistakes and hope to improve my writing. Feedback is always welcome!

In an apartment in Seoul, the night advances, neon lights flickering through the blinds. Y/N, with heart-shaped glasses perched on her nose, smokes absentmindedly while soft music plays in the background. A knock at the door announces Jake. He steps inside, bringing with him the scent of gasoline and danger.

Y/N: (removing her glasses and looking at him with a wry smile) Took you long enough.

Jake: (leaning against the door and locking it) Always part of the game, isn’t it?

Y/N: (raising an eyebrow) What game? The one where you lie and I pretend to believe you?

Jake: (slowly approaching, his eyes burning into hers) That’s the one.

He takes the cigarette from her fingers, inhales deeply, and extinguishes it in the ashtray with a deliberate motion. She watches him, the tension between them rising.

Y/N: (whispering) You’re no good for me, Jake.

Jake: (with a crooked smile) Never said I was.

Y/N: (standing and walking to the window) But damn... I want you.

Jake: (following her, his voice low and rough) Because you like the risk. The fire. I make you feel alive, Y/N.

Y/N: (turning to face him, her voice heavy with anguish) But at what cost? Every time we’re together, I feel like I’m destroying myself...

Jake: (placing a hand on the wall beside her, leaning closer) And yet, you can’t say no to me.

A heavy silence fills the space. Y/N tries to look away, but he holds her face, forcing her to meet his gaze.

Jake: (whispering) Let’s stop pretending. We both know this... is an addiction.

Y/N: (tears threatening to fall) You destroy me, Jake.

Jake: (gently touching her cheek) And yet, you save me.

They kiss urgently, like two storms colliding. The passion is overwhelming, but behind it lies an abyss of pain and fear. When they pull apart, S/N steps back, breathing deeply.

Y/N: (lowering her head) This will never work.

Jake: (intensely) Who said it has to?

She laughs bitterly, returning to the sofa. He watches her for a moment, as if memorizing every detail, before sitting beside her.

The silence is broken only by the soft music and the ticking of a clock. The tension in the apartment is almost palpable. Y/N glances at Jake, her eyes filled with conflicting emotions. She lights another cigarette, her hands trembling slightly.

Jake: (taking the cigarette from her and extinguishing it again, this time without looking) You don’t need that right now.

Y/N: (crossing her arms, trying to hide how much he affects her) I don’t need a lot of things, yet here I am, with you.

Jake: (leaning back, his voice a whisper full of promises) Because deep down, you know I’m the only one who understands the chaos you hide.

Y/N: (laughing sarcastically) Understand? You understand nothing, Jake. You just exploit it. You feed on my insecurities, my weaknesses...

Jake: (interrupting, gripping her wrist firmly) And you do the same to me. That’s what keeps us tied together, isn’t it? The fact that we’re the same. Two addicts to something that should’ve never begun.

Y/N tries to pull her arm away, but he doesn’t let go. Their eyes meet again, and the air becomes too heavy to breathe.

Y/N: (defiant but trembling) Let me go, Jake.

Jake: (leaning closer, his voice deep) Do you want me to let go? Or do you want me to stay? Because so far, you’ve never asked me to leave.

Y/N: (gritting her teeth, her eyes glistening with unshed tears) Because I’m weak. And you know it.

Jake: (caressing her face with his free hand) It’s not weakness. It’s just... us. We’re broken, Y/N. But somehow, we fit.

He kisses her again, this time with an almost painful slowness, as if each touch were an unspoken apology.

Y/N: (whispering between his lips) This is wrong, Jake...

Jake: (his voice hoarse, his lips still brushing hers) I know. But tell me you don’t want it. Tell me to leave, and I will.

She hesitates, her tearful eyes locked on his. For a moment, it seems she might tell him to go. But then, she pulls him closer.

Y/N: (in an almost inaudible whisper) Stay.

Jake didn’t need more words. As soon as he heard that “Stay,” he pulled her against him, their breaths mingling in a chaotic rhythm. Their connection was both tender and consuming, their movements speaking of passion and the inevitability of their bond.

The night went on, leaving them entangled in the dangerous mix of love, lust, and pain. And when the dawn began to break, neither could tell where the fire ended and the ashes began.

Jake lifted her effortlessly, their mouths never fully separating as he carried her from the couch. He laid her down gently, his eyes blazing with an intensity that made her heart race. For a moment, he just looked at her, as if memorizing every detail.

Jake: You’re beautiful... (he murmured, his voice hoarse with desire and filled with admiration)

She pulled him closer, her hands exploring his body beneath his shirt. The warmth of his skin against her palms made her feel alive, as if this moment was all that existed. He responded by pulling off his shirt and sliding the straps of her dress off her shoulders, the fabric slipping away to reveal her bare skin.

Their bodies fit together like they were made for one another, moving in a slow, deliberate rhythm. Jake took his time, exploring every inch of her, his hands trailing down to her wetness. His mouth found her breast, sucking gently, making her moan. He trailed kisses down her body, leaving her trembling beneath him.

Jake: So wet for me. (he said, his voice deep as he delivered a light slap to her dripping center)

He kissed her inner thighs before finally reaching her core. Pulling off her panties and tossing them aside, his hungry eyes locked onto her exposed heat. Without hesitation, he began licking her folds, obscene sounds filling the room as he sucked and licked her clit. His tongue worked her into spasms, her back arching as she neared her release. But just as she was about to come, Jake pulled away.

Jake: You’ve been so bad to me, always telling me how wrong we are for each other. Maybe you don’t deserve to come. (he said, his tone mocking as he pouted playfully)

Y/N: Please, Jake, for fuck’s sake, you can’t leave me like this. (she almost screamed, frustration bringing tears to her eyes)

Jake: Alright, if you want it that bad... beg for it. (he said, sitting back on the couch with his arms crossed)

Y/N: Dammit. (she said, standing in front of him) What do you want me to do?

Jake: I already said, beg. (he replied casually)

Y/N: Please!? (mockingly)

Jake: I guess you don’t want it that much after all. (he said, leaning back further)

Y/N: Fine. Shim Jaeyoon, would you please fuck me senseless until I can’t think anymore? (she said sarcastically, pressing her hands together as if in prayer)

Jake: Now that’s more like it. (he said as he stood)

Jake pulled her into a fiery kiss, his hands gripping her waist. As they kissed, he spun her around and bent her over the armrest of the couch with no gentleness.

Jake: Spread your legs! (he ordered)

Y/N obeyed instantly. Without warning, he thrust into her in one swift motion, filling her deeply. His right hand gripped her hair, pulling it back roughly, but not as forcefully as his thrusts—wild, hard, and fast. He yanked her hair harder, making her lift her head to meet his gaze.

Jake: Open your mouth! (he growled)

Y/N obeyed, confused but lost in the overwhelming pleasure. As her mouth opened, Jake spit into it.

Jake: Swallow it! I’ll give you everything, and you, like the good slut you are, will take it. (his tone savage)

Y/N swallowed. The vulgarity of the act, combined with his filthy words, made her walls clench tighter around his thick cock. He continued pounding into her without mercy, delivering sharp slaps to her exposed ass, leaving red marks. Each slap was met with a loud moan from S/N, who was teetering on the edge.

Jake: Look at you, begging to be fucked but unable to handle it. (he teased, delivering another slap)

That was all it took for Y/N to come undone, her arms giving out as her upper body collapsed onto the couch. Her ass remained raised, her body trembling and her mind blank. All she could do was cry out as Jake kept going.

Y/N: It’s too much, it’s too much... I can’t take it. (she sobbed, breathless)

Jake: It’s over when I say it’s over. Now be a good cum dump and let me finish. (his voice emotionless, though he was nearly out of breath)

As if his relentless thrusts weren’t enough, his hand found her clit, rubbing it in tight circles, overstimulating her. S/N cried from exhaustion and pleasure, unable to control the tears streaming down her face.

Jake: That’s it, I give, you take, and you’re grateful! (his voice cracking)

A few more thrusts and Jake finally came, triggering a second orgasm in S/N. He stayed inside her for a moment, waiting for their breathing to stabilize. Then they adjusted on the couch, S/N resting her head on Jake’s shoulder as he gently stroked her hair.

Jake: You’re so good for me. No matter how painful this is, it’s worth it. (he said softly, almost soothingly)

Y/N: Yeah, we’re so good at being so wrong. (her voice sweet and sleepy)

She felt every emotion in every touch: the burning desire, the regret for the circumstances that brought them here, and the love neither dared to admit aloud. Their bodies moved together in an instinctive rhythm, while the outside world faded away.

As dawn began to break, Y/N turned in bed, watching Jake light a cigarette by the window.

Y/N: (breaking the silence) This will kill us, won’t it?

Jake: (exhaling smoke, his eyes fixed on the horizon) Probably.

She laughed softly, though sadness lingered in her eyes. He watched her for a moment before returning to bed, wrapping an arm around her waist.

Jake: (his voice low) But if we’re going to die, at least it’ll be together.

✿ If you don't reblog and comment, you can be sure I'll be showing up in your dreams tonight... and I won’t be as sweet as in the story ✿

[stackslip]

watched through the playthrough of 1000xresist with a growing sense of "was iris groomed? am i the only one getting these vibes at all?" wondering if i was just making shit up but then in the last two chapters they drop all the stuff about mimi having a "special relationship with her" and having alone time with her while talking casually to the commander about having her inseminated, and then later we learned that iris stabbed mimi before calling forth the source to wipe out all other humans on the ship?

and already i was like OH yeah that tracks, sounds like she wasn't just experimented upon but was being sexually abused

and then it went on with my own uncomfortable feelings re the alien/the source itself and how the clones and others referred to iris's relationship to the occupants--fucking them, fraternizing, comparing it to a past boyfriend; and then i realized the jiao picture was a secretary from the source and it still acted enamoured of her and offered her massages; and then i thought of all the glimpses we get of iris's exhaustion and dissociation and lost time after every communion with the source and how closely it mirrors victims of csa's own dissociation. and how even as she abused her daughters she refused the source access to them (much to its chagrin)

and THEN secretary and the source got to talk directly and the way the source talks about iris. flat out having isolated her, targeting her bc she was an alienated and unpleasant teenage girl, calling her "my iris", practically slobbering at the thought of using her, and then secretary says "you communed with her" with the same horror one would say when they heard of a rape; and the source continues on about how iris is always going to belong to it, same as secretary and other clones--because iris's children and the source's children, by default, belong to the source

because iris was groomed and abused, first abused by her mom who herself suffered trauma and was rejected by her own mother, then her peers in a racist environment, and then experimented upon and used by the soldiers and very likely groomed and sexually abused by mimi, and then the source comes in and swoops her up, a flower ready to be plucked. it keeps asking her to get access to her own children, her sisters--"to the very end, she was so protective of her sisters. she never allowed me to listen in."

and she was still. ALLMO. she was still horrific to youngest/principal. she was forever emotionally and physically frozen in the limbo of being 17-18 and traumatized while being groomed by both an older scientist with absolute power over her, and then by an eldritch alien force who saw her emotions and trauma as something to consume and preserve in itself, that demanded more and more to the point that she began to lose sleep and time and sense of reality. when principal comes to her, she acts like they last spoke a month ago instead of a millennia. did she know? did she know her act of rage and lashing out would create a monster? was she so lost in the communion and abuse by the source that she didn't even notice the time pass? did the simulacre of jiao the source made to assuage her guilt and ptsd lie to her? i'm obsessed. iris kwan jesus christ

[notomys-mordax-blog]

Part 2: Neve Gallus and the Shadow Dragons

Overall: 7/10

Important things first. I absolutely love Neve's design. Her casual outfit with the IDGAF unbuttoned shirt is 10/10. She's both very fashion-forward and feminine, but doesn't look soft. It's neat. The only real critique I have here is that I don't like how most of her face is hidden by her hat. While this felt like an intentional choice, I think it detracted more than it added to her vibes. 

Speaking of vibes, Neve's vibes are impeccable. She's a classic hardboiled detective solving mysteries and putting anything resembling a feeling in a box where it can't hurt her. They really leaned into the film-noir vibes with her voice direction with mixed results. Sometimes it's really effective, but other times it's stilted, especially next to characters who haven't been pulled out of a crime procedural. Overall, I really enjoyed her bit, but I can understand where critique about her voice direction comes from.

Despite her serious allergy to admitting her emotions, you can see how deeply she cares about the people around her by her actions. This worked really well in her interactions with the companions, but was a little bit more uneven when it came to Rook. I really liked seeing the social activities around the Lighthouse, but it was disappointing that Rook wasn't really directly involved in any of them. As a result they felt like an outsider (or like the Boss that people don't want to get too close to).

You could also see this with Neve herself. She liked to give the other characters small, practical advice and support for their problems, but didn't really seem to give Rook (who frankly, has more serious problems than a lot of his companions) the same treatment. I think this is really an area where the writing would have benefited from the addition of some barks and greetings to help link the "relationship-level-up" scenes and make it feel more like the characters are slowly getting to know each other, versus have an uneven sort of ladder where the relationship moves in jumps and starts.

This unfortunately also extends to her romance. I am the kind of person who really enjoys NPC romances. It not only makes me feel like the characters have more agency, but it is often a two-cakes scenario when it comes to interesting ships. The gender inversion of the detective x femme fatale of the pairing between Neve and Lucanis is really interesting, and they both use acts of service as their love language. Unfortunately, while the two of them have a lot of chemistry with each other, their chemistry with the player character is pretty flat. Lucanis's romance suffers more, in my opinion, because the content is so much sparser, but I also felt it with Neve.  My poor head canons need to do a lot of heavy lifting to make the Veilguard relationships work. 

Neve's role in the story is twofold. She helps provide a number of useful connections in Northern Thedas (Harding also plays this role). Additionally, she's our guide to Minrathous. For a Rook who does not have a Shadow Dragons origin, she's responsible for convincing the player that the city is worthy of saving. Personally I feel like the narrative emphasized how hopeless the whole situation in Dock Town a bit too much. I would have liked the narrative to give approximately 15% more weight to scenes like Hal and his fish-stand to show that Dock Town had good people and was worth trying to salvage.

Admittedly, I'm also pretty disappointed that we finally get to see THE BIGGEST AND MOST MAGICAL CITY IN THEDAS, but are limited to just exploring Dock Town which feels like a pretty generic fantasy dock town. I feel like this was a big missed opportunity. Frankly I would have preferred if Veilguard was set entirely in one city and we had the chance to really explore that one location. 

Neve is one of two characters who can become hardened. This is done not through her personal quest, but through an early-game decision to choose which of two cities to protect from a blighted dragon attack. Thematically I like how the game is moving away from good versus evil choices. One of the major themes the story was trying to tell was that there are sometimes no "good" choices. There are some interesting parallels between Solas and Rook and the themes of regret. What I found awkward here was that there really wasn't justification for why Rook played such a key role in the defence of the city (and subsequently why people outside of Neve/Lucanis blamed Rook for what happened). I also think that the narrative could have done a smoother job explaining that with Minrathous, the problem was not in the defence of the city, so much as it was the political implications. I think this choice would have felt more interesting if they worded it more explicitly to be a choice between protecting the civilians in a city from the immediate brutality of the dragon attack (Treviso) versus protecting the civilians in a city from the long-term brutality of an oppressive political regime (Minrathous). 

As a slight aside, I did feel like it was kind of goofy that Neve, who is a well-known public figure, could just waltz into a venatori gathering. 

Her personal quest is a paint by numbers affair. You help her with a case that spirals into a confrontation with her nemesis, a venatori mage. She needs to be guided through choosing to leverage the help of a shady organization, or crack the case through legitimate channels. It folded in nicely with the main story, but did illustrate the problems with the venatori as one of the main groups of villains.

Part of me almost wishes that the outcome of Neve's personal quest would depend on whether or not she was hardened, versus something that you explicitly chose. I feel like hardening Neve had much fewer implications on the story than hardening Lucanis, and I would have liked to see some story changes. 

The Shadow Dragons

I really liked the idea of the Shadow Dragons. I think they were probably my favorite of the factions. It was really brutal to see what happened to them if you chose to save Treviso over Minrathous. I also feel like their existence could have gone a long way in explaining why the culture of Tevinter was so different from what we might've expected given how it was depicted in the games based in Southern Thedas. Throw in a few lines about how attitudes of slavery in Tevinter have been shifting over the last 10 years due to changes in policy from Dorian and Mae, underground movements like the Shadow dragons and maybe, for bonus points, a certain elf who has been cutting his way through slavers. 

Not including Fenris in the Shadow Dragons really does feel like a missed opportunity. Quantum characters are one of the general design problems with the Dragon Age games. Getting to see cameos of characters from previous entries into the series is a lot of fun, and something that the series wants to do. Unfortunately, because of the complexities that would arise from the different configurations in people's worlds, these cameos either have to be super shallow so an NPC can be easily slotted in -- or people's previous canon need to be handwaved a-la Leliana-lyrium-ghost. Personally, I'd prefer half-assed explanations about why a character who should have been dead (or otherwise incapacitated) is back in action, but that's not really a good solution either. Frankly I think returning characters end up creating a sort of damned-if-you-do-damned-if-you-don't situation. 

Back to the Shadow Dragons. I liked them! I think my only quibble is that the Viper being the Black Divine was a weird narrative choice. I'm not complete with my save-mintrathous playthrough, so this might end up coming up more in the future, but thus-far, this revelation has been treated like a fun Easter egg. I also thought it was kind of funny (derogatory) that the ventatori who captured him didn't think to unmask the mysterious masked leader of the rebellion. I think the reason they didn't was because the narrative didn't want to deal with the fallout ... which is kinda lame. 

Another intrusive thought I had whenever I saw him was that there is a whole masked empire in the south, and whether or not people thought that the Viper was from Orlais. This is a dumb thought, but it is one that I couldn't help but think.

How I would fix it: 

Neve's storylines are folded into the main story much closer than Harding's. This means that resolving them would require addressing some of the deeper flaws in Veilguard's narrative. Despite my desire to write multi-thousand word essays analyzing the flaws of the game, I did ultimately enjoy playing it and would describe the experience as being a mostly fun romp with likeable characters and an interesting story that sometimes flubs the execution. I ran across a post describing DAV as one of the most polished unfinished games they've ever played, and this really resonated with me. 

The Venatori (and Antaam) were one-note villains with the same pedigree as Corypheus. Note how I didn't name a specific Venatori. Aelia, who was the main antagonist of Neve's route, didn't really have much going on besides "evil venatori blood mage". While I don't think we need to make the pro-slavery nationalists sympathetic, I do feel like they would be more effective villains if it was more clear what their goals would actually look like for the people on the ground. As an aside, my eye twitched a little bit every time the phrase artifact or ritual was used. This felt like a huge opportunity to add a little bit of flavor into the stew. I don't think we need major lore reveals, but what seems more interesting: "We've got to stop the Venatori from using an artifact to complete a ritual" or "We've got to stop the Venatori from using the Chalice of Lost Souls from making legwarmers soul weave"? 

Not specifying what the ritual or artifact was really made it clear that these things were just MacGuffins, and doesn't give the player any idea about why the Venatori are evil. While I think the scenes in Arlathan were they tortured animals while sitting on human chairs, it at least gave some specificity to their evil. 

The Tevinter presented in Veilguard doesn't really reflect how the Empire was presented in the previous games.  If the narrative choice to downplay racism and slavery was done because the creative team no longer felt interested in those themes or equipped to write them a statement should have been made to this effect. Regardless, the in-game cultural shift would be much less jarring for a returning player if some in-universe explanation had been provided. In the previous section I discussed a few different factors that may have shifted the attitude of the general population in Tevinter. This would help show the player that the Tevinter they've heard about isn't really representative of what the "average" Tevinter citizen is like. I think this could be accomplished really smoothly with a banter between Neve and Harding. Harding is surprised to see that the elves are treated more poorly in the South than in Tevinter. She can talk about the horrific blood orgies she's heard about. Neve can bring up that the average Tevinter citizen is horrified that the Danariuses of their country are how other nations perceive them. Additionally, this would help give the player a better idea of what the stakes for allowing the Ventori to get a foothold in Minrathous would be. It's the cultural traditionalists of Tevinter who want to go back to blood orgies. 

My making the Venatori more compelling villains, I think you'd end up fixing 70% of the problems with Neve's story. 

In terms of the other 30%  percent, this is really where you feel the pain of removing the small ways the player can interact with the companions. Even though walking up to the companion and overhearing "hey Rook" is narratively identical to needing to press x to initiate the same "hey rook" conversation, it feels different from a gameplay perspective. Adding this back in would help make it feel like Rook was actually talking to his companions. I would also have really liked to involve Rook into the slice-of-life activities at the Lighthouse! Let the player decide if Rook would be interested in joining a book club, or explore what kind of cook Rook would be. I think this would help the feeling that Rook is a weird boss who listens in on people's conversations. 

In Conclusion: 

I like Neve a lot and think that the idea of a detective procedural set in Thedas has a lot of potential. I really liked her interactions with the other characters (especially Bellara!) and enjoyed watching her slowly warm up to the party. It's just a bit of a shame that I didn't get the same sense of slowly building friendship from the player-character. 

As an aside, Tevinter Nights definitely enhances the experience of playing Veilguard. In addition to providing introductions for most of the companions, it also introduces a lot of important NPCS, this is where you see Neve first confront Aelia.  

As another aside, I'm tired of games with end-of-the-world stakes. DA2 is probably my favorite entry into the series, and it has a much smaller scale than the other games. I really would have enjoyed a game consisting of helping Neve unravel mysteries in Minrathous and think that narratively, that sort of story is much easier to tell in a satisfying way.

So those are my thoughts on Neve. I would drink whisky with her while we speculated on who the Viper actually was, but first we need to do something about those Venatori (explain what the heck the cult actually wants).

[wiltq]

Shadows age and how it matters an incredibly large amount for his character.

(I figured out titles)

I know that we all know that Shadow reacted to Maria’s death in an unhealthy way but nonetheless made sense, but I would like to bring something up that makes it make even more sense.

I love looking at people arguing over Shadow’s age, it’s fun to see different ideas on what they think his age should be, the only bad part is that there is in fact a right and wrong answer.

I am firm believer that Shadow didn’t age in stasis(literally look up what stasis is, you can’t age in stasis) therefore being the age he was on the Ark.

Shadow was probably only around a year old(in terms of being conscious) when Maria died seeing as she looks the same when she finds him and when she dies, so he was quite young.

I know that Shadow was sort of programmed with the mentality and physical body of a teenager, but people don’t seem to understand how little that means. It shows us what his canonical age would technically be, but it hardly matters regarding his actions. Shadow being programmed all of this information instead of experiencing things to learn it will change how he reacts to things.

He did know what the concept of death was when Maria died, but he had never had time to both process that fact that she was dead and the concept of death entirely. Shadow, by all logic, would react to Maria’s death like a much younger child.

We could argue that teenagers would react better than him even if it’s their first time experiencing loss, but by then they would have already experienced many other negative emotions, over time teaching them healthy ways to react.

But for Shadow? He was told. He never experienced things like this before, he has the mental state of a teenager but the experience of an infant. Things like empathy and grief can’t be understood simply by being told, you have to learn through experience.

That’s the reason why children can be cruel, they don’t understand empathy, they aren’t old enough to even think that people other than themselves actually have feelings, it’s the reason the best way to react to their cruelty is with sadness, they won’t like it when you’re not happy, it’s an inconvenience for themselves.

If they don’t understand that you can be upset, they’ll react with more cruelty because they’re angry.

They typically learn this from ages 4+. Shadow is 1.

Shadow at this point doesn’t even fully understand that other peoples feelings matter, he doesn’t understand people can feel what he feels and he doesn’t understand the idea that people can’t understand how he feels like this, he still doesn’t understand emotions.

And then before he can learn how to deal with this grief he loses even more trust with people because he was put into stasis.

The point is, Shadow being angry at everyone in the world because of what people did to Maria 50 years ago makes more sense than if he wasn’t, other characters in the sonic franchise have lost people but they’ve had time to mature.